Adam Carolla (2:49)

Yeah. That is a real lightning in a bottle kind of situation. It says, Jay was asked to edit Mitch Hedberg's. And then it says, Los Enchiladas. That's a comedy special.

Jay Chandrasekhar (3:02)

He. I was living in New York. Mitch Hedberg, Yeah, he was amazing. I was living in New York, and his. He and I had the same manager, Dave Miner. And Dave called me and said, mitch Hedberg has a movie, but it's two and a half hours long, and they're trying to get it ready for Sundance. And can you just sit with him and can you edit the film with him? And I. I had edited. I was. I'm an editor. I've edited eight movies. And so I said, sure. So he came over, and we sat in a room and we started cutting his movie. And he. Even in, like, a dead, dark room, he wore yellow sunglasses. And he's. You know, he was the same as he was on stage in terms of rhythm. He had a very, you know, deliberate and weird little rhythm to his jokes. He'd get up every. I'd say, 15 minutes and come back reeking of grass. And it was literally every 15 minutes. So I was like, hey, buddy, you know, you could just smoke right in here, and we'll get a lot more done. And so that's what we did. We sat in this dark room and smoked grass and cut his movie.

Adam Carolla (4:04)

And the movie is Los Enchiladas.

Jay Chandrasekhar (4:07)

It's about him working at a Mexican restaurant in the Minneapolis suburbs. And basically, he's him. But, I mean, David Tell is in the movie, and Marin's in the movie. Barry Todd Berry's in the movie. And so he basically played up like a worker who worked behind the counter. And they do stuff. Like they'd go in the freezer and they'd smoke grass in the freezer. And so I'd be watching these scenes with him, and his actual girlfriend was in the movie, too. And they'd be in a scene together, and they'd be smoking a joint. And I'm like, hey, is that real grass? And he'd go, yeah, yeah, man. And so he'd be doing the lines, right? And then he'd do take two, smoking a new joint. And slowly the lines would just get quieter and slower. And, you know, there'd be. By take four, they're. They're kind of looking at each other. Is it your. Is it your line? Is it mine? Like they were being recorded right? By take six, the two of them were just literally standing there looking at each other. And smoking. And I was like, how'd you get anything done? He goes, man, it was hard.

Adam Carolla (5:13)

It's hard. It is. I've always said this, but I had it. It happened once when we were talking about. Remember when David Arquette used to be nuts?

Jay Chandrasekhar (5:27)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brian Bishop (5:28)

Back in the old days.

Adam Carolla (5:29)

Well, he's not known for like being nutty, but he was like really, really nuts. But I just had the same question about like Andy Dick and stuff like that. Like, how is it that you can be so high and so out of your mind on everything and so nuts and so everything, and you still show up at like the MTV awards, go out, hit your mark and read the teleprompter. Like, how do you. It's amazing what we can do. Jacked out of our brains and actually like make a living. Like, there's people that are insane in this. But, you know, when Andy Dick was at the height of his drug addled insanity, he was still hammering checks for him being on a sitcom every week. Like, you just think, you know what I mean? Like you say, how does he do it? Like, how does Mitch Hedberg get it and find his way to the club, do the bit, you know, do an hour set.

Brian Bishop (6:15)

Andy Goffman was the only.

Adam Carolla (6:16)

A lot of these Andy Dick.

Jay Chandrasekhar (6:18)

I was coming out of my kids schools, like a meeting at night. And so I'm driving out of the school at about 10, 15 in the evening, and I'm trying to get up the, you know, out of the basement parking structure. And I. And I pull up to the sidewalk and a guy pulls up and stands there with a shopping cart. And it's Andy Dick, who I've never met, right? And he looks at me and he's kind of making these sort of sexual faces at me. And then he comes around to try to get in my car and I roll the window down, I'm like, andy, no. And he goes, whoa. Like he was shocked that I recognized him. And then he just kind of like twirled away and got the cart and just pushed it off.

Brian Bishop (7:01)

Doesn't sound like Andy Depp.

Adam Carolla (7:02)

Wow. But the next morning he was on set somewhere and he was. And he was regurgitating lines. And that's the weird now. So he didn't recognize you?

Jay Chandrasekhar (7:14)

I don't think he did. I think he was looking to jump in a dude's car and see what happened.

Gary (7:20)

Just another Tuesday.

Adam Carolla (7:21)

Can I say this too? While we're being crazy and hammering a paycheck, getting high out of your mind and like sleeping outside and Stuff, you don't get stabbed nearly as much as you think you would. You know what I mean? Like, well, is everyone. Everyone thinks, oh, if you get out of your mind on drugs and you jump into some dude's car, you're gonna end up in a shallow grave somewhere in the desert. Right. Or whatever it is. But evidently you can do a lot of that before you get your first stab. And, yeah, how many times has Andy Dick been out of his mind and done something that your mom would tell you? If you've done once, you'll end up missing a lim. And he just does it. I mean, the reality is, I don't know, it's like, maybe it's my theory. What do you think, Jay, in terms of the hitchhiker versus the person that picks up the hitchhiker who's more potentially dangerous?

Jay Chandrasekhar (8:11)

I think the person who picks up the hitchhiker is the one who's in more trouble. I mean, the hitchhiker, they're used to, like, close quarters fighting, you know?

Adam Carolla (8:21)

Yeah.

Jay Chandrasekhar (8:22)

They're used to making ugly deals.

Adam Carolla (8:24)

Has there ever been a scene in a movie that involved a hitchhiker that turned out just fine?

Gary (8:31)

The jerk. I think they went about five feet.

Jay Chandrasekhar (8:32)

The hitch. The jerk.

Adam Carolla (8:34)

The jerk.

Jay Chandrasekhar (8:34)

You're right.

Gary (8:35)

To the end of this fence.

Adam Carolla (8:36)

Oh, maybe that's it.

Brian Bishop (8:37)

That's the best example.

Adam Carolla (8:38)

Even in Showgirls, she ended up duking it out with the dude. That's right. She was a little spark pluck.

Gary (8:44)

Yeah. Gnomey Malone.

Adam Carolla (8:45)

Nomi. Yeah. Yeah, she got picked up by some dude. By the way, when you're 22 and hot and a dude picked and you're wearing spandex and a dude picks you up, don't be surprised if his hand slides across onto your thigh at some point.

Brian Bishop (8:55)

Be surprised if it doesn't.

Adam Carolla (8:56)

Yeah.

Jay Chandrasekhar (8:57)

Have you seen that movie recently or you just have a real strong memory of Showgirls?

Adam Carolla (9:02)

Both. And what'll happen is I watch it as a mosaic, you know, Like, I'll turn it on and I'll go, oh, here's the part where Robert Mondavi, or whatever, Davi, the winemaker Robert, the club owners talking about, hey, if a guy gets his dick out and he wants to rub it in your ear, okay, you let him do it. And the guy finishes and blows a load in your salad. You finish, okay, and you take the tip. And it's like the creepiest scene of all time. And if I. If I know I'm anywhere near that scene, I'm watching that scene. And if I See the beginning. I'll just watch the part where the. Where the guy from Montana, like picks her up like the cowboy guy, just so they get into town. Or she meets the black guy. Can dance real good.

Gary (9:52)

You know, I can't confirm the salad part, but that was word for word what he said.

Adam Carolla (9:58)

Gary, you gotta find that scene with Robin. I'm pulling it off my icloud right now. It makes me laugh every time. Oh. So, Jay, the book. Ah, sorry. Yeah, there we go. Mustache Shenanigans is the name of the book. It's available now on Amazon and if you bookmark us and click through our site, it'll be Win win. Also dates. Doing live dates.

Jay Chandrasekhar (10:19)

Yeah, I'm about to go up to Raleigh to good nights in Raleigh, Durham this Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

Adam Carolla (10:26)

Stand up stories signings.

Jay Chandrasekhar (10:28)

Yeah, I mean, I do a lot of. I do stand up stories. I also tell about 15, 20 minutes of the stories from the movies. So it's a little bit of both. And then I, you know, I sign books.

Adam Carolla (10:43)

That'll be coming up this Thursday. And then Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse. That's coming up in Virginia. Arlington. There you go. Oh, got something here. All right. Oh, Gary wants to know about Super Troopers 2. Yeah.

Jay Chandrasekhar (10:59)

Oh, I'll tell you about that.

Adam Carolla (11:01)

Tell me about that.

Jay Chandrasekhar (11:02)

The film is. We've cut the film and my friends in the band, the Eagles of Death Metal are doing the score right now.

Adam Carolla (11:09)

Yeah, we just saw the documentary on that.

Jay Chandrasekhar (11:11)

I haven't seen that yet. Is it brutal? Is it hard to watch?

Adam Carolla (11:14)

Not surprisingly, no. For some reason.

Brian Bishop (11:17)

But the emotional parts, but it's really about the love between those two guys. It's a real bromance going on in that movie. Josh and Jesse, is it?

Jay Chandrasekhar (11:26)

Yeah, Jesse.

Adam Carolla (11:26)

Yeah. And everything. I don't know. I think it's like any documentary. Just. It feels like a documentary. Feels good to know information that you didn't have before, you know, and. Oh my God. And. Oh, wow. And leading up into it and you know, because you get the little snippets on the news and stuff like that. So. Yes, good documentary. So watch it.

Jay Chandrasekhar (11:47)

I will.

Adam Carolla (11:48)

And then when you run into Jesse, you gotta go, you watched it.

Jay Chandrasekhar (11:50)

Right, right, right, right, right. I just haven't like a hard time watching those. Like, I didn't watch the 911 movie and I didn't watch Boston Strong or whatever that was.

Adam Carolla (12:00)

No, I'm with you completely. I woke up this morning, it's like, hey, this guy's on Facebook and he shoots this old man. And I'm Like, I want none of nothing to do with this. And also, like, when people go, well, aren't you curious? I'm like, I'm imagining it's an old guy getting shot. Like, this is not something where you go. Like when someone. Like, if someone goes. They found a new creature in the sea that had been undiscovered. And then someone goes, well, what's it look like? Well, it looks a little like a manatee, but it's not. But it's more like an alligator or something. I go, I'm in. I have never. I wanna see what this thing looks like. Then I'll be disappointed and pissed off at how it was described and built up to me, but I will wanna see it. But if it's, say, hey, this guy gets a compound fracture after he falls off the balance beam or whatever, I'm like, nope, I got it. Unfortunately. I just pictured it.

Jay Chandrasekhar (12:48)

But I will watch. Like, they recently had a thing where an alligator grabs an elephant's trunk. I'll watch those kind of things.

Adam Carolla (12:58)

Yeah.

Jay Chandrasekhar (12:58)

Animals fighting in the wild.

Adam Carolla (13:00)

Oh, I didn't know. I thought it was like, gay code or something. Like you and Andy Dick or something. So it's a Ben bear and a.

Jay Chandrasekhar (13:07)

Silver fox are fighting.

Brian Bishop (13:08)

I'm not gonna say who wins, but.

Adam Carolla (13:12)

All right, so. Oh, sorry. So Super Troopers two shot.

Jay Chandrasekhar (13:18)

Yeah. And so Fox is picking a release date, and we'll know it'll be sometime in the next six months, I imagine.

Adam Carolla (13:25)

And it's cut. It's done. It's all done.

Jay Chandrasekhar (13:28)

We've tested it.

Adam Carolla (13:29)

Oh, really?

Jay Chandrasekhar (13:29)

We've shown it to a 500 people.

Adam Carolla (13:32)

It's. You know, even though everyone makes fun of testing for, like, sitcoms and stuff like that, when you're making a movie, it's good to show people the movie because they'll tell you, this didn't make sense to me. And you'll go, oh, that's right. We cut out the whole setup to this part. And we forgot that we cut it because it happened so slowly that we cut it out. So in your mind, you have the setup or you know who this guy is or what's going on or what that reference was.

Gary (13:59)

And I don't get why people give that such a hard time before something goes to Broadway. It's in Chicago, it's in San Francisco. They're doing rewrites.

Jay Chandrasekhar (14:05)

I don't know why. Because the films don't. Some films that don't test well still do really well. And so what happens is, if your film doesn't test well, the studio then loses all confidence, and then they stop supporting it, and then the film just dies. And so, you know, like, Spielberg doesn't test because he doesn't have to test. But if you tested all his films, some of them wouldn't do as well as the others. I mean, that's. That's the reason why people don't want to test.

Adam Carolla (14:30)

How'd the testing go?

Jay Chandrasekhar (14:32)

Incredibly well.

Adam Carolla (14:33)

I knew it. Because you brought it up.

Jay Chandrasekhar (14:34)

Well, of course. I mean. Of course I brought it up. I mean, it's like one of those things. And now the studio's like, oh, this is gonna be good. So good.

Adam Carolla (14:42)

So they'll get behind it.

Jay Chandrasekhar (14:43)

You know, look, that film was like, to some degree. It's been a while, right? It's been a while. So you could. You could. I think. And people had this sort of emotional attachment to it because they watched it a bunch of times with their friends. And so if we made a bad one, it would be just, like, doubly embarrassing.

Adam Carolla (14:59)

Right?

Jay Chandrasekhar (15:00)

And so far, that hasn't been the response.

Adam Carolla (15:02)

No, it's. It's. It's true. Like, when you do, you know, Blues Brothers 2000, it's doubly bad because just on TV, the first one is so iconic and so good. Or Jaws 2 or whatever it is. It's not just a bad movie. It's a bad.

Brian Bishop (15:16)

Gone so far from, like, it's a.

Adam Carolla (15:18)

Turducken of bad movies. Oh, here's. Yeah, here's back backstage at the strip joint. Here's the famous speech. You need more pink. Oh, thanks, Heather. Have you ever done a lap dance before? No. Gotta talk them into it. Okay. 50 bucks a pop, you take them in the back, touch and go. They touch, they go. You can touch them. They cannot touch you. That's good. Now if they come, it's okay. They take it out. Come all over you call a bouncer. Unless he gives you a big tip. If he gives you a big tip, it's okay.

Brian Bishop (15:57)

Okay.

Adam Carolla (15:58)

You got that? Okay, good. And you, where the fuck were you last night? I was having my period.

Brian Bishop (16:11)

Alone.

Adam Carolla (16:13)

You don't want me to get blood all over the place, do you? Getting real tired of your shit, kid. If you want to last longer than a week, you give me a blowjob. I hear it's first I get you used to the money, then I make you swallow. I heard the campus of Google's exactly the same.

Jay Chandrasekhar (16:36)

Can we watch this whole movie?

Gary (16:37)

It's so good.

Brian Bishop (16:39)

Where is HR.

Adam Carolla (16:42)

She gave the most.

Gary (16:43)

Heartfelt speech introduction before this movie when I saw it at an open, you know, Sinispia. And she really still loves this movie.

Brian Bishop (16:51)

Elizabeth Berkley.

Gary (16:52)

Elizabeth Berkley.

Adam Carolla (16:53)

Did you know there was a sequel? What? Oh, yeah. Show Women, Blues Brothers, Two Girls, Two Pennies From Heaven.

Gary (17:00)

Because that's Penny.

Jay Chandrasekhar (17:03)

Was she in it as well?

Adam Carolla (17:04)

Got some signed watching to do this evening. Yeah. Ah, geez. Yeah. All right. No one we've heard of in it. All right, so the movie's coming out. Movies cut, movies tested. And we're looking for just a date, release date. And some of that is based on like we want to do around the holidays or you want to do around whenever, really.

Jay Chandrasekhar (17:30)

I mean, they have so many movies to figure out where we slot in. And, you know, we don't want to go against Iron Man 8 or whatever the hell that is, or, you know, you want to try to put it in the right spot.

Adam Carolla (17:41)

I was just at the theater last night and we all went to go see Hate 8, Fast 8 and Hate and whatever. And every single trailer. First off, all the trailers are exactly the same movie. Now it's all about sound and smash cuts and whatever. But all the whether it's the Mummy or whether it's something or the new Transformers or whatever, they're all the highest achievers among us are the people still.

Gary (18:12)

Striving, still reaching for something.

Adam Carolla (18:14)

The people who aren't satisfied to stay where they are and want to keep climbing higher. And it's those people who approach the impossible and embrace it.

Gary (18:22)

There's a vehicle for people like that.

Adam Carolla (18:24)

It's called the Defender. The Defender is an icon reimagined for.

Gary (18:28)

A new generation of explorers through thoroughly modern design. Its interior is modern and functional with rich material, finishes and quality craftsmanship. When you're in a Defender, you can tell the interior is built for purpose. Luxury appointments throughout and practical storage options.

Adam Carolla (18:45)

Ensure you adventure in comfort.

Gary (18:47)

This is a vehicle capable of great.

Adam Carolla (18:49)

Things and engineered to meet challenges head.

Gary (18:52)

On wherever you're headed.

Adam Carolla (18:53)

Experience the Defender's legendary capability both off.

Gary (18:56)

Road and on and there's a family.

Adam Carolla (18:58)

Of vehicles for Defender. Meet the Defender 90, Defender 110 and the 8 seat Defender 130.

Gary (19:04)

Are you ready to embrace the impossible? Explore the defender@land roverusa.com NetCredit is here.

Adam Carolla (19:12)

To say yes to a personal loan or line of credit when other lenders say no, apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. Loans offered by NetCredit or lending partner banks and serviced by Netcredit. Application subject to review and approval. Learn more@netcredit.com partners netcredit. Credit to the people. Same. They're the same trailer.

Brian Bishop (19:29)

There's a lot of.

Adam Carolla (19:30)

There is not.

Brian Bishop (19:31)

They've gotten very. They're just streamlined.

Adam Carolla (19:34)

Yeah. I don't. I don't know exactly what it is, but they're all like the same movie. They all feel. It doesn't matter if they took place in Persia and 2000 years ago or takes place in the future 2000 years from now. It's all the same. It feels like the same movie.

Jay Chandrasekhar (19:48)

It does. It does. It's like this. I mean, I don't mean to be. To harp on it, right. But this. Like, the corporations bought movie companies as to have a fun little media piece. And then, you know, then these Iron man movies made 400 to $800 million, and they're like, oh, we can make some real money on these things. And then they turn them all into the same thing. I mean, they want these films to work in China and India and all these other countries. And so they're only making movies that can make that much money and they're that big and with that many effects, and they all look the same now.

Adam Carolla (20:22)

Well, it's kind of interesting, and I guess it's like, in a way, like a franchise like Kentucky fried chicken or McDonald's. Like, hey, it's about consistency.

Jay Chandrasekhar (20:31)

You know what?

Adam Carolla (20:31)

You're gonna get every location and you start looking and I. You know, we have 325 million people in this country, and India and China have billions.

Jay Chandrasekhar (20:44)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (20:45)

So. And everyone's got money and put the fannies in the seats. And I think they're kind of looking beyond our shores for this stuff. I agree with you.

Jay Chandrasekhar (20:54)

It does feel like. I mean, the Fast Eight or whatever, that was the fate. That is the biggest opening movie in the world ever.

Adam Carolla (21:02)

Really? Yeah, I believe it. I got 60 bucks of my money. I couldn't believe how expensive it was.

Jay Chandrasekhar (21:11)

Any good?

Adam Carolla (21:12)

Yeah. I was like. I had it in the middle. I had a long lunch with Chris Morgan, the guy who wrote it, and it made me not want to say anything negative about it, but I put it in the middle of the. Of the pack. That's generous. All right. It was. You know, it's like. It's become. It's all about the action, and it's. It's. Brian reviewed them as superhero movies, which they are, and it's all about the action. They have just given up on the story. I mean, a large part of the story hinges on the story from the last movie. It's become aware of itself, and then it's just sort of giving everybody what they want, which is this. More of. More of it. Yeah.

Brian Bishop (21:51)

And you have invincible people doing impossible things. It's a superhero movie for all intents and purposes.

Adam Carolla (21:55)

Yeah. But there was a time when it lived in some reality. And even though the stuff was sort of fantastical, it still lived in some place that had gravity.

Gary (22:06)

But now that.

Adam Carolla (22:07)

Not so much anymore, now that there's.

Gary (22:08)

Eight of them is at least kind of. Is it kind of funny, Winky? Like they're in on the joke, or.

Adam Carolla (22:12)

No, it's what I mean. It's back to Kentucky Fried Chicken. It's like. It's not good fried chicken. It's just their fried chicken. And you're. When you. You think about it, when you're craving that, you're craving that, you know, it's like they're. They're, you know, like, coleslaw's bad, but it's theirs, and you crave it. And it. In a weird way, you sold. It's bigger than what mom is making in the kitchen.

Jay Chandrasekhar (22:38)

They could throw a story in there, too, though, that wouldn't. Wouldn't kill him.

Adam Carolla (22:41)

I agree. I'll tell that to Chris next time we. Next time we speak. Yeah, I agree that you could. You can do both. And I just wonder if I do think the more you test things. I've done stuff where you test things. And three times in the course of this project. Somebody said three times, fool. Yeah. You said, you're my stepson. If you're my real. If you were my real son, I would have this, that, and the other. But you're my stepson. That's different. And then at some point, they get a lot of feedback. That was confusing. Was it his son? Was it his stepson? And then they'll go tell you, go change it, and you'll go like. Well, it's really not confusing if you're paying attention. It was said out loud. So story can confuse people sometimes. And a note of I was confused is a big fat thumbs down. And I think they're trying to remove all.

Jay Chandrasekhar (23:40)

Remove story from the movie business.

Brian Bishop (23:42)

Take that confusing line of dialogue, replace it with an explosion, and no confusion.

Jay Chandrasekhar (23:45)

The problem is that it worked better than it's ever worked in the history of any movie. So.

Adam Carolla (23:50)

Right. So it's the number one movie of all time.

Jay Chandrasekhar (23:53)

Of opening. Of all opening.

Adam Carolla (23:55)

Yeah. And because that's a worldwide.

Jay Chandrasekhar (23:58)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (23:58)

Right. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why they're always. They're always smart because they're like, oh, we're in Cuba, and then we're in England, and then we're in, you know, New York. And so they're always, oh, that's all everybody. Yep. All right, what did make opening weekend, Gary? All right, maybe Jay knows.

Jay Chandrasekhar (24:14)

I don't know.

Brian Bishop (24:15)

500 million worldwide. Some absurd number.

Adam Carolla (24:18)

It's absurd. It's insane. All right. Anyway, the wife loved it.

Brian Bishop (24:23)

Oh, good.

Adam Carolla (24:24)

Yeah. And Lynette loved it. The kids had a good time. 5:32. Gary's told. And so I'm like, all right, we got seven more to.

Brian Bishop (24:33)

Oh, yeah. They'd be stupid to stop anytime soon.

Adam Carolla (24:36)

No, not them. I'm talking about Lynette. She's got to go backwards. She's got to go backwards.

Gary (24:41)

Star wars franchise.

Adam Carolla (24:42)

Yeah.

Jay Chandrasekhar (24:42)

This is the first one she saw.

Adam Carolla (24:44)

First one.

Brian Bishop (24:45)

Oh, she gotta see the prequels.

Gary (24:47)

Which would you say, out of all eight is the one to see if you've never seen one?

Adam Carolla (24:51)

I think the best one to me was four. Is that where they went? Where they stole the safe in South America?

Gary (24:57)

Do they drift in that one?

Jay Chandrasekhar (24:59)

Five, That's Tokyo drift. Might be three.

Adam Carolla (25:01)

I think that's five. Four is the one where at the very beginning, they're stealing gas. Oh, the tunnels. Yeah. That one's called Fast and Furious. Right.

Brian Bishop (25:10)

Six or seven is where they really sort of hit that formula like, oh, this is what we are. This is what we're going for.

Jay Chandrasekhar (25:15)

They finally figured it out.

Brian Bishop (25:16)

I think so. I truly think so.

Adam Carolla (25:19)

Fast five is. I think that's my favorite. Very good one. And it has got. Got some. Got some story and some twists and some stuff in there. Yeah. All right. All right. Should we do a little news?

Gary (25:28)

Let's do it.

Adam Carolla (25:29)

Give me the news with grad. News with Gino Grad. Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina grad. Trouble in the Middle East. Celebrity drunk meltdown. Seek News with Gina. Gina. The news with Gina grad.

Gary (25:51)

Well, Jeff Varner, the Survivor contestant who was unanimously voted off the show last week after unexpectedly revealing that another competitor is transgendered, lost his real life job as a result of this episode. I'll show you the clip now, and then I'll fill you in.

Adam Carolla (26:07)

Why haven't you told anyone you're transgender? I just asked random people that, what I'm showing, by the way, to see if they say anything. But that's personal. It has nothing to do with the game.

Jay Chandrasekhar (26:20)

Personal.

Gary (26:21)

You didn't have to do that.

Adam Carolla (26:22)

That is so wrong for you to bring that Up. I'm not using that as anything negative. I'm not knocking him.

Jay Chandrasekhar (26:30)

That's not deception.

Adam Carolla (26:31)

You just.

Shira Lazar (26:32)

Yeah, that was just so ridiculed.

Adam Carolla (26:33)

To whom he wanted. I argue for the rights of transgender people every day in the state. State of North Carolina. I would never say or do anything to hurt anyone here, Jeff. I'm arguing for my life. I feel like I've got to throw everything at the wall. Outing somebody is. I'm not outing him. Nobody have the right to out anybody. Who's the guy who's yelling at.

Gary (26:58)

I don't know. I don't. I haven't seen this scary.

Adam Carolla (27:01)

He may have just been a guy who was on the island and still thinks World War II is going strong against you start every third episode of Gilligan's Island. This is a Japanese general. He's still here. He thinks the war is still going on. I guess those jokes have sort of aged out, but There's a good 25 year window where they could have. They had a pretty good run from, like, I don't know, 45 and a half to maybe 71, 72, or until Vietnam.

Brian Bishop (27:28)

Really?

Adam Carolla (27:29)

Yeah. Up to about 75. Yeah, it's a good run.

Gary (27:32)

Well, so this Varner guy, Jeff Varner, he was a real estate agent in Greensboro, North Carolina, working for a company that didn't like what they saw on this episode, which was filmed last year, by the way, only aired last Wednesday. The company said Varner was, quote, in the middle of a news story that we don't want anything to do with.

Adam Carolla (27:48)

Maybe they didn't like the fact that he was trying to sell commercial real estate and never stop being an advocate for transgendered people like that. As a boss, I'd be like, hey, man, could I cut into your transgendered advocacy and have you sell the property, especially North Carolina.

Brian Bishop (28:05)

That's a hot blood mission.

Adam Carolla (28:06)

Please stop coaching up. Especially have some religious clients here. Please stop preaching.

Gary (28:10)

He did say he's been swimming in guilt ever since, but now he's got a little extra time to do that.

Adam Carolla (28:15)

So what did he mean by being an advocate for this community every single day back home?

Gary (28:23)

He didn't clarify because he said it.

Adam Carolla (28:25)

Like he was out, you know, barking on the corner.

Brian Bishop (28:28)

What a boast.

Gary (28:29)

I have no idea. It's possible that he's an out gay man. Is he?

Adam Carolla (28:34)

Oh, he did.

Jay Chandrasekhar (28:38)

Now you're gonna lose your job.

Adam Carolla (28:39)

Yeah, I'm lose my job. He did. He did strike me as. I did have the gay thing. I went like, oh, he seems. I think he Might be gay. I don't know.

Gary (28:47)

It's possible.

Adam Carolla (28:48)

It's hard to maintain. I gotta tell you, I have pretty good gaydar. But if we're gonna leave you on an island with no razor and no grooming products for six months, my gaydar is gonna shut down. Like, I cannot. I gotta see a pushed cuticle. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Brian Bishop (29:03)

Something plops like they're using the gator at the North Pole, it's gonna spin around. I don't know what to make of that.

Adam Carolla (29:07)

So he's gay. He's gay and has a boyfriend. And this was, you know, right around the time that North Carolina was very much gender laws, the bathroom thing was going on. Okay, so that could have been why he said that. Now is he allowed to sue for wrongful termination? I mean, I don't feel like you're. You're allowed to get fired for something you did on a reality show. If they give you that as a reason. You know what I mean?

Gary (29:31)

If he has his face on a bus bench with their name on it, they don't want anything to do with him because he's getting bad press.

Adam Carolla (29:36)

Yeah.

Brian Bishop (29:37)

This week on Reasonable Doubt.

Adam Carolla (29:38)

Yeah. Because also, you know, it is a show where you're just supposed, you know, people routinely lie to one another and do all, you know, eat maggots and, like, it's like, do anything you can. And I guess that was part of what he was doing.

Brian Bishop (29:53)

And Gina mentioned that he was a realtor, which means I'm wondering if it wasn't a full time salary job, was more of commission based. Yeah. What do they call it, Like a consult? Consult Me. Know what I mean? Like a.

Jay Chandrasekhar (30:04)

Some sort of part time commission based didn't do it for you?

Gary (30:06)

No, I guess not. All right, all right. Well, still smarting.

Adam Carolla (30:14)

Wait, how does he know? He knew the guy was transgender. Yeah.

Gary (30:18)

He must have opened up to him during some sort of alliance.

Adam Carolla (30:20)

Yeah, that's what I've read is that they had privately chit chatted.

Brian Bishop (30:23)

They made a sweet alliance.

Adam Carolla (30:24)

But, you know, they made a big deal of it. But they aired it. Like, they could have kept this one.

Gary (30:29)

No, this is a ratings juggernaut.

Adam Carolla (30:31)

Yeah. So they knew what they were doing.

Gary (30:33)

Yeah. All right, well, still smarting from the pr.

Adam Carolla (30:36)

I'm trying that forever. Going Survivor. I'll just point at any random guy or gal and go, look, we know your secret. You're transgendered.

Brian Bishop (30:43)

Why are you not being honest with us?

Adam Carolla (30:44)

Then they'll start arguing and I'll go, stop living in denial. And I'll go now. Who can you trust? They weren't even come to grips with the fact that they're transgender. It's obvious to everyone. I think it's more insulting if I do it to a woman. Yes. Yeah, it's more insulting. Yeah.

Gary (31:00)

Well, still smarting from the PR nightmare of having the video go viral of a passenger being dragged from one of their planes, United Airlines has changed its policy and will no longer give staff last minute seats on full flights. Now crew members will have to get a seat at least an hour before departure, check in, make sure they're all ready to go. A United spokesman said that the change was done to make sure that an incident like the recent episode never occurs again. Oh, and I also heard on the way here that I believe it's. Delta is now allowed to offer as much as $10,000 for a seat.

Adam Carolla (31:33)

But that's just a brilliant PR move. Right?

Gary (31:36)

Well, I didn't.

Brian Bishop (31:36)

I didn't think that was legal means.

Gary (31:39)

I didn't know you could go as high as 10,000.

Adam Carolla (31:40)

First off, there was a rule in the law, like it could only go to a certain height, a certain number. Yeah, but it seems really counterintuitive. Seems like any business can. Should be able to do whatever they want.

Brian Bishop (31:50)

I was gonna say, don't you make your own policy? Isn't the 1350?

Adam Carolla (31:53)

No, but everything that has to do with airlines, a lot of that stuff is regulated, taking place inside the airport, so on and so forth. So, like, I guess they put a ceiling on it. I don't know why, but here's what I can guarantee you. Lots of ass wipes trying to figure out ways to get money from Delta and or other airlines now to remove themselves from plane. Like, there's gonna be people booking themselves on flights to Orlando that don't know anyone in Orlando, that have no business in Orlando. Right.

Gary (32:21)

That'd be a nice dice roll. Yeah.

Adam Carolla (32:23)

Yes.

Gary (32:23)

There's another. It might be American, I don't know. Off the top of one of the other major airlines says their rule now is that once everyone's on the plane, there is no offering people money to get out. Once you're on, you're on. And the people who didn't get on, that's their tough luck.

Adam Carolla (32:38)

Well, it should be. I mean, all that stuff's gotta take place at the gate. I mean, once you get on, it's hard to. Yeah, it's hard to unring that bell.

Gary (32:47)

Although I have to say, I've done it once and it was the most romantic Exciting thing I've ever done in my life.

Jay Chandrasekhar (32:53)

Given up your seat?

Gary (32:53)

Yes. I was in New York visiting my boyfriend. I was in college and I didn't wanna leave him and I. I was so sad. And I was crying at the gate, and I'm crying in my seat and this little old lady asked if I'm okay. And then they start saying like, the plane's overbooked. You know, does anyone want to give up their seat? And I was like, I do. And they gave me like 200 bucks and I ran off the plane and my boyfriend was still there. And I stayed there another two days. Missed a final, but it was worth it. It was really fun.

Adam Carolla (33:17)

Wow, that's kind of romantic.

Gary (33:20)

It was cool. Never done it since though.

Jay Chandrasekhar (33:23)

Would you have let yourself get dragged off like that doctor now?

Gary (33:27)

No, I wouldn't need to. I would bound off myself.

Jay Chandrasekhar (33:29)

No, but I mean, just in general.

Gary (33:32)

No. Why would you do that?

Jay Chandrasekhar (33:34)

I guess because you're like, why are you picking me? Like, what did I do? There are all these people here. I'm already in the seat. What are you doing?

Gary (33:42)

But would you go limp?

Jay Chandrasekhar (33:44)

I would never go limp. I mean, I think if they were physically gonna carry me off, I'd just get up and go, okay, fine, you win. I played chicken with you and I lost.

Adam Carolla (33:54)

Yeah, that's what you have to do eventually.

Gary (33:56)

And technically, just so we're clear, even though it happened on a United plane, United flight attendants weren't the ones that dragged the guy off the Chicago police force at the airport did it.

Adam Carolla (34:07)

Yeah, I agree in a weird way. I mean, it's just we have a society that we don't even. I remember once, God, I was on the COVID of like Asian Weekly magazine or something as like the worst round eyed person on the planet because it.

Brian Bishop (34:29)

Was worse of the year. But yeah, yeah, yeah, he won the yearly award.

Adam Carolla (34:33)

Dave Dameshek made a joke on my morning show that was like a bit. He did like a bit like a ching chong bit. I never wrote it, I never heard it. I never did anything about it.

Brian Bishop (34:45)

But the Asian Excellence award had aired and Dave's like, let's hear a clip. And it was just someone going, someone's just recording someone saying, jing zhong jing jong. If you use it insensitive, it was a stupid joke as insensitive.

Adam Carolla (34:57)

I was more angry that it wasn't funny rather than the insensitivity part. But I remember people are like, all right, you need to apologize and you need to this and you need to be on the COVID of this magazine and everything else. And I'm like, at a certain point, I go, you do understand I didn't do any of this. Yes. It's called the Adam Carolla show, and Dave wrote a bit. And I don't vet every. People go, I got a funny sports bid or I got a funny. Whatever. It's like, yeah, go ahead. I don't got time to listen. Everyone's prerecorded, whatever. And I kind of feel that way with United. Like, at a certain point, yeah, it was a bad idea. But obviously three of the people just got up and left and took their voucher, and the fourth guy didn't, and he went limp. And they called the security, and obviously we're not talking about it. It. If that guy doesn't go limp and refuse to get off the plane. And this wasn't somebody who was employed by United getting him off the plane. This is just the popo and the police. Like, this is them. That's their plane, but it's them with the hands on the city of Chicago, on the cock. I know United can never stop apologizing, but a little bit needs to swing a little direction of the dude who picked the dude out of the plane and dragged him down the thing.

Gary (36:11)

Correct.

Adam Carolla (36:12)

He was not an employee of United.

Gary (36:14)

No, he was not.

Adam Carolla (36:15)

So I'm saying, like, that's a fair bit of shit United's getting for a non. I mean, 100%.

Brian Bishop (36:20)

They should be getting about 85.

Adam Carolla (36:22)

Yeah. I'm saying they got the ball rolling by saying, hey, we gotta clear this stupid policy. Got the ball rolling. But all the film that we're all incensed about is not a United employee.

Jay Chandrasekhar (36:32)

Asian Week is googling your image to put on a new issue of Asian Week. They're like, we're gonna put it back on.

Adam Carolla (36:41)

Yeah. We never sold more units. We tested it. We had Andy Dick and that transvestite guy from Survivor, but the most units moved were with Corolla. So we're gonna get them.

Brian Bishop (36:53)

They have a Where are they now? Edition.

Adam Carolla (36:57)

I wonder. I may have joined the ranks of Sarah Silverman and other comedic greats who got on that show. I still wasn't unclear what that magazine was, but I was delighted by.

Brian Bishop (37:08)

It's a framed copy.

Adam Carolla (37:09)

I have a copy. I did get a copy of it. Please frame it.

Jay Chandrasekhar (37:12)

Ching chong. Ching chong.

Brian Bishop (37:15)

It's the stupidest bit.

Jay Chandrasekhar (37:16)

I love it.

Adam Carolla (37:17)

It's the stupidest bit.

Jay Chandrasekhar (37:18)

I love it.

Adam Carolla (37:19)

It's Asian Week and it's the voice of Asian America, and her time is now. Some stories, you know, and then there's me.

Jay Chandrasekhar (37:33)

Sort of funny.

Adam Carolla (37:36)

It's great, but it's like, imagine if somebody, like, there's some Asian guy and he's just reading his Asian Weekly and he's had a couple of pops and he's really pissed off, and he decides to take the law into his own.

Brian Bishop (37:48)

Not on my watch.

Adam Carolla (37:49)

And his grandfather still has the bayonet from World War II. He's the guy who thought the war was still going on. And he runs it through the ace man. I mean, they got blood on their hands at that point because I didn't do anything.

Brian Bishop (38:00)

I just smuggly preening.

Adam Carolla (38:02)

That's right. I just sat here while he did his bit.

Gary (38:05)

All right, well, the president of Penn State University recently threatened to get rid of fraternities on campus altogether because the party culture has gotten out of control.

Adam Carolla (38:15)

Ooh, I wonder if I could spin that into a positive, like if I was ever trying to land a job with some sort of Asian owned corporation. And I don't have the exact. I don't carry around the magazine with me, but I was featured in article of Asian Weekly, so I. I think it's fair to say I'm known in the community.

Jay Chandrasekhar (38:33)

And they'd be like, oh, we know.

Brian Bishop (38:36)

Did I mention I'm a big fan of Hyundai?

Adam Carolla (38:39)

All right, sorry.

Gary (38:41)

Just this month, nine of the university's 82 frats were busted during Parents Week for boozing, breaking all kinds of rules, ranging from underage drinking to throwing parties without a license. Even some of the parents were visibly drunk with the kids. So the president has decided to crack down or at least launch a campaign to get things under control.

Brian Bishop (38:59)

Drunk with the parents means they were being supervised.

Adam Carolla (39:01)

Yeah, good point.

Gary (39:02)

Very good point.

Adam Carolla (39:03)

And by the way, I don't like the way this sounds. Throwing a party without a license.

Brian Bishop (39:07)

Yeah, these are very minor offenses. As someone who is familiar with paternity.

Adam Carolla (39:10)

Offense, I'm saying it sounds very Orwellian to me. Like, you gotta pull a permit to.

Brian Bishop (39:14)

Have a big brother having fun without a permit.

Adam Carolla (39:17)

Yeah.

Gary (39:18)

That's not double plus good.

Adam Carolla (39:19)

Throwing a party without a license feels just a little un American.

Brian Bishop (39:23)

Jay was in a fraternity, I was.

Jay Chandrasekhar (39:25)

And one of the fraternities got in trouble, and so they created this licensing system where we had to issue the. You know, we were gonna have a party this night, and so they'd send two, like, older women from the town to sit at a table, but we just. There was no difference in behavior. You had to register your parents? Yeah, we registered and Then the next year, they were just gone.

Adam Carolla (39:46)

Oh, really?

Jay Chandrasekhar (39:47)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (39:47)

So still all the same debauchery would go down. Yeah.

Jay Chandrasekhar (39:51)

And these two women would just sit there and they're like, oh, gee, this is a pretty good party. They're from upstate New York.

Adam Carolla (39:58)

I always think, like, you always see them in the movies and stuff like that. But you know when they have, like, supervised visits, like where the court appointed so and so has to stand there with the dad so he can be with his son or whatever. Yeah. This could be the weirdest gig on the planet. Like, standing there while they're. They're having a catch or like, whatever. Whatever's going on with the father and the son or the mom and the daughter.

Gary (40:24)

Invisible.

Jay Chandrasekhar (40:26)

But you're there to prevent some sort of, like, abuse. Right. Isn't that.

Adam Carolla (40:30)

I guess. But they're there to visit each other, so, like, they might want to go watch a sporting event on TV or something.

Jay Chandrasekhar (40:37)

Gotta get a third ticket, I guess.

Adam Carolla (40:39)

The guy starts, like, reaching for a cigarette and you just give him a look like.

Brian Bishop (40:44)

Like, what do you stay within ey shot? Like there's be like, stay sure to.

Gary (40:48)

Be in the room. Sure, I guess.

Adam Carolla (40:50)

Or like, don't shut the door. You can be over here. I'm going to come over here and read Asian Weekly and you guys watch the sporting event in the den. Like, it's going to be Corolla up to. It's got to be weird, right?

Gary (41:02)

Remember a million years ago, we had Tatum O'Neill's son on and he told us about how that.

Adam Carolla (41:07)

Yes. Yeah.

Gary (41:08)

He said it was super weird, I think.

Adam Carolla (41:10)

Yeah, that's right. That's right. He was explaining just how weird. Well, now you add it because you have a celebrity factor.

Brian Bishop (41:18)

Sure.

Adam Carolla (41:18)

And so you have Ryan O'Neal, Tatum O'Neal, and McEnroe or whoever she was married to. And now it's kind of weird because that's John McEnroe, like, sitting there and, like, you're sitting over here, and I'd love to just know how that training works and what the. There's gotta be training. There's gotta be parameters.

Jay Chandrasekhar (41:39)

It sounds like a good Costner movie, you know?

Adam Carolla (41:41)

Oh, yeah, the Supervisor. Yeah, the Supervisor falls in love with the person he's supervising. All right, one more, baby girl.

Gary (41:48)

All right. Well, Environmental experts say 1 billion plastic water bottles reach the ocean each year. This, of course, is a problem, but it's a problem that could be solved by a new invention. The edible water bubble. This is pretty cool. A British company called Skipping Rocks Lab has created a biodegradable edible membrane made of seaweed extract that can be filled with water. They call it the uhoh. Supposedly you can tear open the uhoe and pour the water right in your mouth or just pop the whole thing in your mouth and it'll burst and you can eat the whole thing. And it's full of water. And it's the membrane, which is a terrible word to describe it. The coating is seaweed. So it's completely biodegradable.

Adam Carolla (42:27)

Yeah. So if you're, like, at a party and you see a chick do like three of those at a time, you go, hey, that's gonna sidle up to her number.

Jay Chandrasekhar (42:34)

Can they make it in bottle shape, or does it have to be in those little things?

Gary (42:37)

So far, they're just sp. You can add color and apparently flavor.

Jay Chandrasekhar (42:44)

You need a bottle of water, though. Where are you going to get that burned?

Brian Bishop (42:47)

You just get a few of these little globes.

Jay Chandrasekhar (42:50)

That's preposterous.

Gary (42:51)

Why are you making this difficult? Just get a little box of bubbles. Little water bubbles.

Adam Carolla (42:54)

Okay. They just look like giant raindrops.

Gary (42:57)

Like. Like giant boba tea.

Jay Chandrasekhar (42:58)

Aren't they wet? I mean, where are you going to put them? The whole thing's. I mean, I like it, but I.

Brian Bishop (43:02)

Mean, you got to get a case. You know what I mean? Because they're little, they're easily penetrated.

Adam Carolla (43:07)

Jay, you got kids and everything, right? Yeah.

Jay Chandrasekhar (43:11)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (43:12)

How many goddamn ways to transport liquid, like containers do you have in your house? Because my house is overrun with water bottles, sports bottles, travel mugs, like the travel bottles, the morning commute mug. Every show you do, every time you do a show, they just give you a canteen at the end of the show. It says Ellen on it or whatever. And then your house is just. We have whole drawers just filled, filled. And you can't really throw it out because they're like spun aluminum and they have a nice top and there's a cork with, like a. With a little piece of chain on it. And it's kind of cool. It's got the Ellen and they anodized L and right in the side of it and stuff. But you will never use it. And far as I can tell, we are moving much less than we used to move. I personally, am. I. When I was growing up, zero air conditioning and 100% movement. Like, I was thinking about this the other day, we would grow up in North Hollywood. We would take a bus to Santa Monica to go to the beach, just me, Ray, and my friends, you know, just It'd take like five buses, like nine days later we'd be at the beach. The seasons would have changed and it was colder at that point, but we'd get there, you get to the beach. And then once we got to the beach, we had no money and we had no water bottles or sodas or anything. We just body surf for like six hours, run around, just all. You just lay out in the sun, run back and forth the ocean. And then at some point after a day at the beach, you'd get up to go walking back to get to the bus stop and you'd pass a drinking fountain and you'd get a couple of hits off it and then it was onto the bus with no air conditioning and the seven transfers to get back to the sweaty San Fernando Valley. Never a bottle of water, nothing transportable, no canteens, no anything. How did we survive do all of that for so long? And now everyone's just sitting in an air conditioned office building and they got a car that parks itself and it's got air blowing and the seats are cooled and everything else. Do we need this much hydration?

Brian Bishop (45:18)

We've got air blowing right now and you got a water bottle in front of you.

Adam Carolla (45:21)

I know you're part of the problem.

Jay Chandrasekhar (45:23)

I got one too.

Adam Carolla (45:23)

I know it's sad, but do we. I have this theory. If you could break down like, you know, in the, you know, tech companies will go like click throughs, you know, to be like. Well, it's not how many impressions, it's how many people click through and made a purchase or gave him your information or whatever it is, you know, or there's ways, conversion rate. Yeah, ways to gather data. The amount of time times per. Pick a unit, like 15 minute unit or one hour unit that you're awake, that you take a hit off of something, a bottle, something with some flavor in it, a snack, a nut, a mint, a whatever. Just your hand goes to your mouth and there's something on the other end of it. A little water bottle, Coffee, Starbucks, like just whatever you're working at.

Brian Bishop (46:19)

Showgirls.

Adam Carolla (46:21)

That's right. You want a nice tip, don't you? Oh, put jizz in that little bowl. All right, point is this. I feel like I used to go five hours in between, like eating, you know, I'd work construction, you'd show up at 7:00 in the morning, you'd get out of the truck and you'd just work until noon. And at noon you'd eat lunch. But in that five hours there was nothing right you just stand there and work. Now it's like, where's my water bottle? Where's my thing? I take the dog for a walk, I'm like, where's the water bottle? I get into my car, I'm like, where's the water bottle? I was like, I don't need a water bottle. I'm in an air condition. The number of times you go up to your soup cooler with something, something with some flavor or water or hydration or whatever, versus when, like you were a younger person.

Brian Bishop (47:08)

Oh, tenfold.

Adam Carolla (47:10)

It's insane, right?

Jay Chandrasekhar (47:11)

Do you think in 10 years you're gonna be on this show talking about how many seaweed balls full of water you have?

Gary (47:17)

I hope so.

Adam Carolla (47:19)

I just think it's weird. Like, I don't think my kids. Jay, you tell me. Cause our kids are like, same age, right?

Jay Chandrasekhar (47:25)

Same age.

Adam Carolla (47:26)

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Gary (47:57)

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Adam Carolla (48:03)

As soon as the same day.

Gary (48:04)

Loans offered by Netcredit or lending partner banks and service by NetCredit application subject to review and approval. Learn more@netcredit.com partners netcredit credit to the.

Adam Carolla (48:12)

People I don't think my kids go 10 minutes without grabbing for something or having something. Like they just get up and go I want some, I want some lemonade. And they go and they sit down, they go I want some Doritos or something. They get up and then the TV's on and whatever. Like they don't just do the kind of hours at a time kind of the, oh, I'm trying To think of what was that great movie that Carl Reiner directed about the kids?

Jay Chandrasekhar (48:42)

The jerk, Stand By Me. But it was Rob Reiner.

Giovanni (48:45)

Rob Reiner.

Adam Carolla (48:46)

Sorry, sorry. Rob Reiner, Stand By Me. Like that thing where you just go walking on the train tracks for hours and hours and there was like, nobody around and no carts and no kiosks and no Starbucks and, like, just.

Brian Bishop (48:58)

Just the outside world barely existed.

Adam Carolla (49:01)

Yeah. But like, my kids, like, every night, like, we're walking to the Starbucks, we're gonna get the donut, you know, like, it's just like.

Jay Chandrasekhar (49:06)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (49:07)

I don't know how we can slow that down. But we need to slow it down, right?

Brian Bishop (49:11)

Possibly.

Adam Carolla (49:12)

We don't need this much. There doesn't need to be 7 billion bottles on the beach.

Brian Bishop (49:16)

I think it's gonna turn him back.

Adam Carolla (49:18)

Yeah, maybe water bubbles. All right, water bubbles. Let's bring it home.

Gary (49:21)

You got it. Stop making fun of the water bottles.

Jay Chandrasekhar (49:23)

No, I want a water bubble. I'll try it. I'll eat that damn thing.

Gary (49:27)

And that's the news.

Adam Carolla (49:30)

That was the news with Gina Grad.

Giovanni (49:36)

All right, that's Jay Chanasekar from Super Troopers, Broken Lizard fame, all of their movies. He's directed so many things. He's branched out. He's had quite the career. His Adam Carillo show episodes are legendary, with funny details and impressions of his dad. All kinds of stuff. One of my all time favorite guests. Coming up next, we have adam K. Show 21:38, Jerry Roka, David Damek, Gina Grant, and Brian Bishop from August of 2017.

Adam Carolla (50:07)

Creep, creep, creep of the week. Of the Week.

Ed Asner (50:12)

He or she is the creep of the week. Well, this back injury that had me laying up for the better part of a week overlapped with what was supposed to be an appearance here on the Adam Carolla Show. I couldn't make it in, and I called Gary and I said, gary, you know, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do.

Adam Carolla (50:34)

I.

Ed Asner (50:34)

You know, I just don't think I. I can go.

Adam Carolla (50:36)

And he said, that's all right, buddy.

Ed Asner (50:37)

We'll see you next week. Okay.

Adam Carolla (50:38)

Yeah, we're, we're.

Ed Asner (50:39)

We're jammed up anyway today.

Adam Carolla (50:40)

That's okay.

Ed Asner (50:41)

That's okay. Well, hopefully we'll see you in seven days.

Adam Carolla (50:43)

Take care.

Ed Asner (50:44)

Bye now. Hangs the phone up. And I thought, that's a shame. I hate to miss out on that. The next day, I find out that on the Adam Carolla show that day, Daniel San LaRusso is in studio. You don't choose to tell me that I would have called up Miyagi Gary.

Adam Carolla (51:02)

To put the magic headaches on me. Rub me right.

Ed Asner (51:05)

Make it so. Make me better. Let me come in and see him. And by the way, why doesn't Miyagi use the magic hands a little bit sooner than when Daniel Sign says I need it for balance, Mr. Miyagi. How about the fact that he has a broken fever? You, old man. How about that's enough of a standard to heal the teenager who's got a broken. A broken leg now to go along with his. His fragile heart that's been destroyed by a collection of karate kung fu doing bullies. All of you. And you go to Cobra Kai, Gary, because. Because you're not just a vest. You're also the creep of the week. Don't call me. Macchio's gonna be here. You don't let me know.

Adam Carolla (51:46)

Yeah, man.

Ed Asner (51:47)

Carrie, come and get. I would thank you to come and pick me up and carry me if need be. You know, you don't mention that.

Adam Carolla (51:56)

Wow.

Ed Asner (51:57)

Machio is here.

Brian Bishop (51:58)

Give something to think about.

Adam Carolla (51:59)

He was really so.

Gary (52:00)

He was really nice.

Adam Carolla (52:01)

What was he like?

Gary (52:01)

Oh, he's the best.

Adam Carolla (52:02)

Sweet guy.

Brian Bishop (52:03)

Everything you dreamed, but a little more.

Gary (52:04)

Yeah, yeah. And how.

Adam Carolla (52:06)

And humble. All right, real quick. And before we take a break, who.

Ed Asner (52:10)

Did he think his toughest foe was out of the three he fights?

Adam Carolla (52:14)

He said alcoholism. That was off the air. Oh. Probably shouldn't have said anything. Oh, I see the context now.

Brian Bishop (52:20)

Okay, that makes sense.

Adam Carolla (52:21)

We'll edit that out. Tom 30, Philadelphia.

Gina Grad (52:25)

Ace, man.

Adam Carolla (52:26)

What up? What's going on?

Gina Grad (52:27)

Deck, Good to see you.

Adam Carolla (52:29)

Yeah, man, good to see you too, Tom.

Gina Grad (52:31)

So I saw on Facebook the other day, apparently your buddies Bill Simmons and Kevin Hinch are doing a podcast where they break down their 25 favorite Tom Brady, Bill Belichick moment.

Ed Asner (52:44)

I've been made aware of this.

Brian Bishop (52:45)

People wonder why we hate Patriots fans.

Adam Carolla (52:48)

Is there.

Brian Bishop (52:48)

Is there a question anymore?

Adam Carolla (52:49)

I know. Yeah.

Gina Grad (52:51)

What I think would be kind of funny now that Sheck is here. Ace, you should call your bookie. Put $100 bet on the Patriots to win the super bowl, but call Simmons at the same time and put him on mute.

Adam Carolla (53:01)

All right, well, maybe Sal will be there, and we can conference call it.

Gary (53:06)

Is this specifically to put the whammy on the Patriots?

Adam Carolla (53:09)

You guys don't understand whammy theory, though. The deal with the whammies, it can't be intentional. Whammy.

Brian Bishop (53:17)

You didn't want to.

Adam Carolla (53:17)

The idea is to have me get punished, not to have them win. You understand? So I Can't do it volitionally or proactively. That's not how the whammy God works.

Gary (53:28)

Yeah, it's not whammy magic.

Adam Carolla (53:30)

You feel me, Tom? Like, I have to do it with sincerity, but it would still freak them.

Gina Grad (53:35)

Out a little bit.

Adam Carolla (53:37)

Yeah, I don't, I don't think they'd like it. But again, if it's done as a preemptive strike to stop the Patriots from getting to another super bowl, it won't work. It has to. Has to be done. Has to be heartfelt.

Brian Bishop (53:49)

You want to. You have to want to win.

Adam Carolla (53:50)

You know what they are.

Ed Asner (53:51)

You know what the New England Patriots are.

Adam Carolla (53:53)

You understand? I took Atlanta and no money line.

Ed Asner (53:56)

Is that true?

Adam Carolla (53:57)

I just took. I just, I just took Atlanta straight up. And I said before the super bowl, if Atlanta wins, they're going to roll. They're going to win big. If the game's close, the Pats are going to win, and both things happen. Exactly. But you know how great I felt. Somewhere in the mid third quarter or.

Ed Asner (54:16)

Fourth quarter, Alford picks off Brady as he's running down the sideline, and Brady, you know, dignity falls out of his pocket as he dives helplessly after him, running in Atlanta. They're going to lose this game. Still.

Adam Carolla (54:31)

Atlanta and the money line I had on that. And they lost. It's insane.

Gary (54:36)

Painful, if I remember correctly. I think I predicted it to a T and I didn't even know what sport we were talking about.

Adam Carolla (54:41)

No, that's why you get to do it.

Ed Asner (54:43)

You know what they are, though? Here's what the Patriots are. And I just thought of this. They are football's answer to. I can't think of the guy's name who always wins the hot dog eating contest.

Adam Carolla (54:53)

Kobayashi. Now. Right.

Ed Asner (54:56)

All those guys, though, they all fall under the same thing. They're like the Patriots. Fine, so they win. But it's joyless. It's, you know, they're eating wieners.

Jay Chandrasekhar (55:05)

But.

Ed Asner (55:05)

But they're missing the point of it. The pleasure is. And I've always said this, I've advocated for that hot dog eating contest. You could. You want to get in the foes heads before you say, Wait, hold on. Before we start, I need a side of fries and you know that double chocolate shake. Start mixing in. Yeah. And a shake and everything else.

Adam Carolla (55:22)

What? This guy's wild. Why?

Ed Asner (55:24)

Because he has passion for what he's doing. These guys, they're older.

Adam Carolla (55:27)

What's their mantra?

Ed Asner (55:28)

This is what a decade and a half is going to be remembered as. Do your job well, that's a lot of fun, a lot of passion.

Adam Carolla (55:33)

I don't know. Do your job. All the rules with the hot dog eating competition over there. But did they allow gays to enter? Because I feel that's an unfair advantage. That's an unfair. Yeah, I mean, right? They do drug testing.

Brian Bishop (55:48)

Yeah, true.

Adam Carolla (55:49)

In other sports. I mean, I hope I don't sound too naive here, but I feel like. Huge advantage. That's unfair character that the. I'm asking. I want to. Because I want to know the overall. Because I want to know.

Brian Bishop (56:03)

Yeah, no, I'm genuinely true.

Ed Asner (56:04)

Is that what that means?

Adam Carolla (56:05)

Oh, Ernest Bigot.

Gary (56:10)

I love that movie series.

Adam Carolla (56:11)

They're faster because they have a different muscle in their thigh, Right. I want to know. I just want to know. I'm not.

Gary (56:18)

By all means, correct me if I'm wrong.

Ed Asner (56:20)

Great new character you've stumbled into.

Adam Carolla (56:22)

And that muscle holds them down when they get in the pool, Right. They can't. Yeah.

Brian Bishop (56:25)

They're dumb Jack bones.

Adam Carolla (56:26)

I know.

Ed Asner (56:27)

I don't.

Adam Carolla (56:29)

I'm asking is what I'm saying. Ernest Bigot. And it could be, Ernest Bigot goes to Vegas. Ernest Bigot goes to Alabama, goes to super bowl, goes to Selma. Ernest Bigot. Hey, Merchant. Ernest began. I flap open the windows of my kitchen. Hi, Vern. Ernest began here. They have questions. So Mexicans have their own language, right? And they have. They read, right? Are you getting angry? I'm just asking questions. Mexicans write stuff down, right? Like, they have their language, but it's. It's in a book, too, right? Or they not read. I don't know. I don't know.

Ed Asner (57:07)

I've never been there.

Adam Carolla (57:08)

How many asking. They have grades higher than 9. Is that true or not true? I want to know. I'm just. I'm asking. Ernest Bigot. That's right. Ernest Bigot. Excellent. And what we do, we do the whole thing. We go right with the Hay Vern guy. Ernest goes. Ernest Bigot goes to jail.

Brian Bishop (57:26)

Jim Varney.

Adam Carolla (57:27)

Yeah, Jim Varney. Oh, no, he's gone. I'm. I'm playing the role. I'm Ernest Bigot. I'm the new Ernest.

Jay Chandrasekhar (57:35)

Gotcha.

Adam Carolla (57:35)

Right? And we do one of those things, right? Ernest J. Big. Like, we give me a middle initial, so it throws everyone off a little bit. You know Ernest J. Bigot, don't you? And then I do stuff when I meet, like, an Asian, I put my hand to the side and go, can you see this? No, I want to know. I'm asking. I'm just asking questions. And we have me hit all the different nationalities. We travel. We do like. We do like the old Bob Hope type road trip stuff with Ernest Gary, figure out all the earnest movies. I think he went to prison at a certain point.

Gary (58:07)

Yeah. Go to jail.

Adam Carolla (58:08)

Yeah, he goes to jail. Ernest J. Bigot will go to the same places.

Gary (58:13)

Does he go to a synagogue and check the Jews for horns?

Adam Carolla (58:15)

Yes. He wants to know. You want me to read you off the list of places he went? Yeah. He went to camp. He saved Christmas. He went to jail. He was scared stupid. He rides again, goes to school. Slam dunk. Ernest. Ernest goes to Africa. Ernest in the army. And there's another one here that's an unnamed cameo. Oats. I don't think applies. Ernest J. Bigot goes to concentration camp. I love it.

Brian Bishop (58:40)

He's international.

Adam Carolla (58:41)

All right, all right. But, Jean, do you know, to answer the question, with the hot dog in.

Gary (58:48)

Competition, I think they'll probably do okay, but I think it's probably even because you don't.

Adam Carolla (58:52)

But they don't check is what I'm saying.

Ed Asner (58:54)

Right.

Gary (58:55)

But I also don't think they tend to bite it off, you know, hot dog.

Adam Carolla (58:58)

Right. I'm just. But for the competition, you have to look. They don't check.

Gary (59:02)

They don't check.

Adam Carolla (59:03)

Okay, all right. It's a stupid question. Then tell me.

Gary (59:06)

I get it.

Ed Asner (59:06)

The aside. I like the aside. Checking with a friend. Like, do you understand? Because I just was asking, do you have any opinion?

Adam Carolla (59:13)

Because I. Did you did?

Ed Asner (59:14)

You see how angry. Because I was just trying to find out something. I thought that that was.

Giovanni (59:22)

All right, this is Adam Krillin, Show 2138. Coming next, we have Adam Krillo, Show 1057, Harris Goldbrook, David Garrett, Dave Damoshek, Allison Rosen, Brian. From April of 2013. Check it out.

Adam Carolla (59:34)

All right. Many things to complain about, starting with Mike August, Harris Goldberg, and David Garrett are coming in. And I just see on the schedule, like, a day ago, who'd you book for the show? He said, the guys who wrote Deuce Bigelow. I said, all I do is call that movie a colossal flaming piece of cat shit. Mike. And he goes, yeah, I know. I thought it would be funny. I said, oh, good, a funny booking. Mike. We talk four times a day. Mike August and I talk four times a day. So next time I'm making fun of somebody's work or art, and you decide to book that person, we. Before you decide to book that person. And when I say four, I mean 40. I mean, we sit next to each other on Airplanes for a living. And then we go out to breakfast in Phoenix when we're bored before the show like that, we weave it in. And he goes, well, they called me. And I said, all right, all right. So at least I have a sense of humor about not having a sense of humor. But then I thought to myself, wait a second, wait a second. I know. Because when Mike August goes wrong, he goes wrong in a big way. I said, I know these guys. He commits to going wrong full steam, like Earl Campbell. Just. He picks up, he sees a little daylight, he puts his head down. Isaiah Robinson be damned. He's going for pay dirt Rams. Very nice. Look that one up. Yeah. So I said, I'll bet you in.

Ed Asner (61:02)

The future, by the way, he won't be allowed to lower that head and belt that linebacker.

Adam Carolla (61:06)

I will. Then I thought to myself, I'll bet you these guys and Mike, because he only listens with half an ear, I only make fun of Deuce Bigelow, male gigolo, European Gigolo. I only do the second one because the first one is. That's just a bad Rob Schneider movie, but those are dime a dozen. This one crosses over into the macabre and the bizarre and the occult. The second one is hard to explain. It's one thing just to do your cookie cutter Adam Sandler, eh? Not funny. But I understand there's a certain segment of society that's semi retarded that will enjoy this, but it's not for me or anyone I know. And then there's. Oh, my God, this is confusing. I don't even know what this is. Is European Gigolo Crosses over into that rarefied air of I don't even know what they're doing. Right. Like, it's. It's sort of performance art, and it's the worst thing you've ever seen. Yes, it's. It's bizarre. It's unfunny and confusing. But these guys wrote Deuce Bigelow, male gigolo. So they wrote the one that was precursor to the awful. That was all right. Yeah. All right, well, so that's a nice job, Michael.

Ed Asner (62:11)

I don't want to defend August too much here, but one of the guys.

Adam Carolla (62:15)

Co wrote the European, so he's safe.

Ed Asner (62:18)

For the record, though, you got to give August credit for topicality. I mean, that's only 11 years old now, so.

Adam Carolla (62:26)

Yeah, no, that's true. It's Johnny on the spot and tomorrow's guest, the guy, one of the producers from Tyler Perry Without a Paddle or Up a Creek or whatever that movie Was. I don't even know the name of it. All right, so we'll talk to those guys. I have complaining to do about many things. One is a lot of. Well, first this. You guys know what I say all the time? Like when there's a sort of reason you have and it's the reason. The reason you don't have this relationship with this person is what comes out when you speak to that person. I've said many times, Brian, you be my boss and you fire me for being disrespectful and rude.

Brian Bishop (63:14)

Adam, step into my office, please.

Adam Carolla (63:16)

Give me a fake name. Come on.

Brian Bishop (63:17)

Pete, step into my office, please.

Adam Carolla (63:20)

Multi syllable fake name.

Brian Bishop (63:22)

Peter, step in my office, please.

Adam Carolla (63:24)

I would go by Pete. Try Walter.

Brian Bishop (63:28)

Randall.

Ed Asner (63:29)

Roger.

Adam Carolla (63:30)

Okay, Randall. Yeah.

Brian Bishop (63:31)

Step one in my office, please.

Jay Chandrasekhar (63:33)

Yeah.

Brian Bishop (63:33)

This is about your attitude.

Adam Carolla (63:35)

Jesus Christ, it's boiling in here. Can I turn the air on?

Brian Bishop (63:37)

Well, it's not really gonna matter. This won't take very long. It's maybe a little warm.

Adam Carolla (63:42)

You're attitude too. You know, people gets hot, it gets funky.

Brian Bishop (63:45)

You know, people have been complaining about your attitude and this has gone on who? We had this conversation.

Adam Carolla (63:52)

Complained.

Brian Bishop (63:53)

These are anonymous reports.

Adam Carolla (63:54)

Oh, fuck. Anonymous system. That's such fucking bullshit.

Brian Bishop (63:58)

This is why we implemented the tell a friend system. So people could tell a friend and not be.

Adam Carolla (64:04)

That is such a fucking pile of chicken shit. And I know you probably took your asshole pills this morning, but I'm not gonna fucking sit here in this Cool Hand Luke sweatbox and listen this anonymous bullshit. Now give me some fucking names.

Brian Bishop (64:17)

It's a timely reference.

Adam Carolla (64:18)

Was it fucking Judy? Was it that cunt?

Brian Bishop (64:21)

First of all, Judy's a lovely lady. I don't know why.

Adam Carolla (64:23)

Well, not when she drops a fucking dime on you.

Brian Bishop (64:25)

We're having this conversation. I'm afraid we're gonna let you go.

Adam Carolla (64:28)

Oh, fuck that. She's responsible. You know what, just fuck you.

Brian Bishop (64:31)

Give you an exit interview.

Adam Carolla (64:32)

Fuck you. Fucking male pattern baldness. I upgraded you.

Brian Bishop (64:36)

I don't know.

Ed Asner (64:37)

Such bullshit.

Adam Carolla (64:39)

This fucking place sucks my ball. Lick my fucking taint, you douchebag.

Brian Bishop (64:44)

We're prepared to offer you a two week severance.

Adam Carolla (64:46)

Suck my cock. So anyway, full COBRA package. You know, then I use this as an example all the time. You want to go? Yes. This is why. This is why we're doing this with you. People don't realize they're doing it while they're doing it. My mom sent me a letter. Now I don't know who sends letters anymore. I mean, they send cards and things, but I Got a letter from my mom.

Ed Asner (65:12)

Handwritten?

Adam Carolla (65:14)

No, typed.

Ed Asner (65:15)

Typed on an old style typewriter.

Adam Carolla (65:17)

Eh, there's nothing new style at a Corolla house. There's no newfangled anything that won't even allow Pringles into the house. Those are the devil's chips. Look at them stack. First thing they don't like about it is the efficiency. I want a sack, I want a pillowcase filled with dried stale air and there's some broken chips at the bottom. They don't like the efficiency, they don't like the newfangled part. They don't like anything about it. So I got a letter saying basically I realized I neglected you as a child and ignored you and I didn't pay attention to you and now you don't pay attention to me. But I'd like to fix that. So let's fix that. So I said, when did you get this letter? Letter?

Brian Bishop (66:04)

Today?

Adam Carolla (66:05)

No, no. Well, I got a few days back. I'm pretty busy. I was finished reading it today. Yeah, it was a whole bunch of words jumbled together. No, you know, I like, I have like, you know, there's a cool off period I have with answering letters. You know what I mean? I don't want to go in hot headed. So I gave it a four or five days.

Ed Asner (66:22)

This angered you, in other words?

Adam Carolla (66:24)

No, no, no. I just. To me it's this thing where it's like, all right, I get it. So. But I have this sort of a non relationship. My parents, they don't really exactly know what's going on. My dad doesn't, but I think my mom's like. So I said, she's been saying to me that my stepdad John is really the one taking the brunt. He's having to do all the work and take care of her and do a bunch of stuff and he needs a little vacation he could use. She doesn't need to go out or do anything, but he could definitely get out of the house. So he wants you to take him on a date night? That's right. No, no, he doesn't talk, which is nice. So he doesn't talk. She doesn't really talk. No one. There's an agreement where no one will talk, but they do form fashion letters. And so I said, I called now what happened was I got an email from my brother in law, Kristof and I said, oh, he's in the cars. He sent me an email about a car and I said, oh, you know, invite him and the kids and my sister if she's into it down to the Toyota Grand Prix, the celebrity race coming up this Saturday in Long Beach. And he gets a kick out of it. The kids get a kick out of it. They like that stuff, my nephews. I said, okay. So I invited him. And then I said, you know, I'll call my mom and I'll tell her, you know, fine, we'll move on. And then I'll invite my stepdad John to come after to the race. Maybe you can tag along with Kristoff or something. But he'd get a kick out of this thing, too. And then I said, big to do, big event. 40, 50,000 people there. And I'm coming back as a pro this year because I won last year. Couple beats of silence. I said, I guess John could then travel with Kristof. Maybe they could carpool. And she said, okay. And I said, all right. And then I said, I said, well, you know, have John call me and we'll hook it up. She said, alrighty. I said, okay, we'll see you soon, then come by maybe next week. All right? And then I hung up and I went, well, that's why we don't talk that much. Cause I just told her there was an event that 40 or 50,000 people showed up at and I won it last year and I'm coming back as a pro this year. And there was not a. How does this. Well, there's not. That part. That part's confusing. The. That part is hurtful. But the part that's confusing is they never go, what is this thing you're talking of? Like, are you in the Grand Prix? Are there celebrities? What celebrities? Like, what do you do? Whose car do you drive? I'd have questions like, what time? What do you get? How many? Is there anybody else you know? Is there someone I've heard of that's in the show?

Ed Asner (69:15)

Now imagine John the stepfather is going to get there secondhand information, like, hey, you're going this weekend to see Adam's thing? Well, what is it? I know he's something.

Adam Carolla (69:27)

It's as if I.

Ed Asner (69:28)

In Long Beach, I think, is what he said.

Adam Carolla (69:29)

You're going Toyotas, basically. It's like I said, I'm gonna have some. I got some community service here from the dui. I'll be at the Long beach off ramp picking up garbage between noon and 5:00 on Saturday. Maybe John, come by and talk through the window. All right, sounds good. Sounds good. There you go. It wasn't the. It was like just a little pause. Mm. Yeah, John, sounds like he'd like that. Not. There's zero I. And I always wonder. I always have this thing of does it just leave completely or does someone go online and go, what goes on this? It takes place once a year. It's taken place in Southern California for. I think the race has been about 40 years, maybe, maybe more than the celebrity race has been 37 years. Been all kind of luminaries in it. And it's. Well, it's the biggest event that takes place in Long Beach, I'll put it to you that way, once a year, but, you know, it's a huge weekend. Does she have curiosity about people, the world, things? I had a sad realization when I was skipping rope the other night, which is I like to skip rope and have sad thoughts. I realized that I have spoken to my mother about Dorothy Gravitch's kid's book, the Kids. The book she wrote about her two twin daughters or granddaughters when they were five years old that she did not illustrate, just Sally jumped on the bed. Sally landed on her head. Turn the page. Janie had a good night, but Sally had such a fright. Turn the page. Not illustrated, just written. I've had many, many, many more conversations about the children's book that contained 21 words in it than my two New York Times bestsellers, easily and combined.

Ed Asner (71:25)

Does your mother have any knowledge? Has she read your book?

Adam Carolla (71:30)

Unclear.

Ed Asner (71:31)

You have no idea if she's read your book?

Adam Carolla (71:33)

It's always. It's always unclear.

Ed Asner (71:36)

Does she know about. It's weird because you talk about the.

Adam Carolla (71:39)

Lack of curiosity your mom gave her, you know, took her out to the woodshed, gave her good spanking when it came to the trivia show.

Ed Asner (71:45)

Believe me, my parents were just here this weekend and I didn't have to tell them anything about anything that comes up in your world because they're up to speed on it. Of course they hear it. Because of my weekly appearances, sure.

Adam Carolla (71:59)

How did I know that?

Ed Asner (72:01)

But is she. I assume the answer is to this is no. But does she know anything about pop culture? Does she know who. Snoop Dogg. Long beach makes me think of Snoop Dogg. Would she know who that is, for instance?

Adam Carolla (72:12)

I don't know, Mom. What do you think? How would I know that? No, it doesn't. She used to like Jon Stewart.

Ed Asner (72:19)

Oh, really? All right, well, that's kinda up to speed.

Adam Carolla (72:23)

What do you make of her writing you this letter? Well, I think she realizes that she's coming to the end of the line here and wants some sort of. Of closure or some sort of connection or Something but what most people do and it's what a lot of people do and I'm guilty of it as well, you just say, here's what I want. Then you go right back to what you do, how you are. That's the whole thing. Take you back to why you can't have it to begin with. I tell people all the time there's this thing where everyone is supposed to hang out because we have great affection for each other, because we're in love with each other, because we're family members. But the reality with people, they have a sport, a team, an activity, a job, they have events, there's events. And when you erase all those events, even with your own family, if your dad doesn't like your team and your dad doesn't much care for whatever your hobby is and your dad keep filling in the blank, he's not a beer guy, so he's not going to go have a cold one with you and all that kind of. He's not into cars, you're into cars, whatever it is. Eventually the calendar year goes by and there hasn't been too many events where you. And there's no structure for getting together. Then it's just your Venn diagram needs.

Ed Asner (73:40)

A lot of color in the middle.

Adam Carolla (73:42)

Well also. And then you eliminate fucking, which I did month, I mean years ago with my vent. It's gonna be the last to go. I'm very close. You eliminate sex and I mean I understand the. See, I'm a 57 year old Wall street investment banker. You're a 19 year old hostess at the Outback Steakhouse. You've never heard of Steely Dan. I don't give a fuck. I want to be balls deep in you. That much I understand. And she wants to check out your super cool Soho apartment. I understand there's a relationship there. She wants you to buy her surf turf and surf again. Again, that's a relationship. But you eliminate favorite team, favorite sport, favorite activity, fucking and drinking. And you're pretty much left with just staring at eggs into a somber face.

Ed Asner (74:36)

It's also, I hear what you're saying, but it's also the thing that would be tough to deal with is like you say, the apathy, but it sounds like your mother. I've met her a couple of times, and your father too, in passing. But both of them are very quiet people. And it always strikes me people who don't talk are tough to deal with for, for you who's as chatty as you are, for me everybody is the star of Their own movie. You know, you go through. You're not like you're. No matter who you think you are, when you're talking to whoever you're talking to, there's a star of the movie, and you're just a bit player in that.

Adam Carolla (75:11)

Sure. What, What, What.

Ed Asner (75:13)

What's that movie? Doesn't that. What's the motivation to. To go on if you have not. It sounds like if you're talking and analyzing.

Adam Carolla (75:23)

Yeah, but you can't. You cannot approach the extreme version of this is any of the mass shootings or the bomb that was set off at the Boston Marathon or any of these tragedies where you go, who would do this? You know, you're putting your sane, chatty, intact family mind into the mind of a brother. Right. Like you're trying to interpret it in a rational way. Right. Seems like you couldn't imagine your parents not going out and watching this or viewing that or cheering you on for this, that, and the other. That's you in your rational mind putting inside the minds of serial killers. By the way, Tell me, Gary, if this is it, she can read the paperback, not tuck about material out today, by the way, so I don't think she's going to do. But this is a little window into my life. Remember yesterday we're talking and we said, books out today, books out on Monday. And then I said, don't books drop on a Tuesday? Or doesn't everything drop on a Tuesday? And then I got the word back, Nope, it's the 15th. Comes out on a Monday. And I said, I thought everything came out on a Tuesday. Well, maybe not the paperback. And then I was doing O'Reilly yesterday, and they were going to give my book a plug, and they said, comes out today or comes out tomorrow? And I said, no, no, it came out on Monday. And then they checked and they came back and they said, no, comes out on Tuesday. Gary, how does this work? I don't know. First off, how does it work that I have no idea what day my book comes out and I can't get a clear answer from anyone? It comes out the day this podcast is airing. The 16th. All right, so yesterday.

Brian Bishop (77:04)

To be fair, he wasn't here yesterday.

Adam Carolla (77:05)

This was someone else yesterday. Dawson, I looked online when I said April 15th, 16th. Okay, it's. It's. That's. I told you. You're absolutely right. Everything does come out.

Ed Asner (77:16)

Gary was out burning tree, dancing around with no pants on, Coachella in the desert. And Mike Dawson didn't go because he.

Adam Carolla (77:24)

Was too high to get to his car to leave. Right. But, Allison, you sat here yesterday was like, doesn't everything come out? And then you were told, no, it comes out the 15th. And you said, okay. All right, well, anyway, it is out. And everyone else's mom can read it. They have my blessing.

Brian Bishop (77:40)

Out now.

Adam Carolla (77:41)

Out now. All right. I had. It was my fault. It's all my fault.

Brian Bishop (77:46)

Hope you learned your lesson.

Adam Carolla (77:48)

It's my fault for being born.

Giovanni (77:53)

All right, this is adam Kolla Show 1057. Coming up next, we have Adam Kurilla Show 1919. This one's featuring Steve Luther, John Rezick, David Wild, Gina Grad, Brian Bishop From October of 2016.

Ed Asner (78:07)

With Gina Grad on.

Adam Carolla (78:08)

News, Paul Bryant on sound effects, and our friend David Wilde. And now love isn't always on time, but he is Adam Corolla. Yeah. Get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on Mandate. Get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for sharing. We love that about you. All right, lots of show planned today. First, good day, Gina Grant.

Shira Lazar (78:36)

Good day to you.

Adam Carolla (78:36)

And bald Brian. Stuff I was looking for. Completely failed you.

Brian Bishop (78:39)

This is what I would say if I was two more minutes late.

Adam Carolla (78:42)

No, Brian was at a doctor's appointment.

Brian Bishop (78:45)

Tess's first doctor's appointment. It's the two week appointment.

Gary (78:48)

She have to get all those shots or they don't fill them up.

Brian Bishop (78:50)

No shots till six weeks or two months, I think it is. But no shots today.

Adam Carolla (78:53)

The autism shots.

Brian Bishop (78:54)

That's exactly right.

Adam Carolla (78:55)

Jenny McArthur warned me about that.

Brian Bishop (78:57)

She came to my house and said I knew. And I hear a lot of crying coming out.

Adam Carolla (79:00)

Well, I mean, when you're talking about contagious diseases, you go to Playboy. Yeah, you go to the pages of Playboy. And not for the articles, but for the actual naked people that are in Playboy.

Brian Bishop (79:10)

Exactly.

Adam Carolla (79:10)

Yeah. Who else?

Brian Bishop (79:11)

Yeah, two week appointment. Baby looks good. He's kind of like a lot of examining, how's the baby doing? That kind of stuff. But she's growing. She's another almost on the pound. You gained a pound in two weeks.

Gary (79:21)

Vinny's not gonna like that.

Adam Carolla (79:22)

Put her on diet.

Gary (79:23)

Tell my doctor I'll see her in a few weeks.

Brian Bishop (79:25)

Indeed. I'll let her know.

Gary (79:26)

Thank you.

Adam Carolla (79:26)

Can you guys get down with this thought? And first off, just play some hold the line. Would you prefer my.

Brian Bishop (79:33)

A lot of arm twisting to play to hold the line.

Adam Carolla (79:35)

Toto Dawson had it canned.

Brian Bishop (79:39)

He always does. It's a ringtone.

Gary (79:40)

I feel like I'm on the morning show right now.

Brian Bishop (79:43)

Toto is a great band.

Adam Carolla (79:44)

I agree.

Brian Bishop (79:45)

They have a span of, like, legit archetypal tool tunes. And then songs like this that are just rapid. Like this song. I'll Blast the Windows Down.

Adam Carolla (79:52)

Yeah. Well, this is one of those songs. Like when my buddy Steve hughes was singing BTOs taking care of Pistons Every Day, Every Way. When my buddy Mark Drotman from the Acme comedy theater, circa 1994. Now, this song came out and. 79. 78. Those are lies. It's always funny, but they always make the second part of the rhyme work somehow. Like, those are lies. Yeah. Love's not on time. They're lying. You know, like, whatever it is, but it's always.

Brian Bishop (80:33)

It's always better when they really sell it like that. This is their line.

Adam Carolla (80:37)

We were just standing in his kitchen, and he was rocking out, and it was gusto again. Good. This song. 78, right? 79. Like, this song's 80.

Brian Bishop (80:49)

Yeah, that it was.

Adam Carolla (80:51)

I think it's even before then. It been a good 15 years. 78. 78 was way. Oh, no, it's exactly. All right. So it been, you know, 16, 17 years since Mark had heard those are lies. And he was yelling at us and. But here's my question. How did you make it through these 15 years without. Thank God I came around.

Brian Bishop (81:14)

What else would he do?

Adam Carolla (81:15)

You take this to your grave.

Gary (81:16)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (81:18)

Yeah.

Gary (81:18)

Whoever told you love was on time, they lied.

Adam Carolla (81:21)

Yeah. So I had to correct him. I know. We've all had those moments. Gary, we should make that. That should be a phone segment, because everyone's had those moments where they've just screwed up the song and ran with it.

Brian Bishop (81:36)

There was a great book that I had for many years called Excuse me While I Kiss this guy.

Adam Carolla (81:41)

Right?

Brian Bishop (81:41)

And it's all about the misheard lyric.

Gary (81:43)

There'S a bathroom on the right.

Adam Carolla (81:45)

I trying to think of same guy, by the way, in the apartment in the same kitchen. Speaking of music, I haven't told the story in a while, but same. Same guy in the kitchen, had the picture of the friends on the fridge back when they were magnetized. And he said, show me a picture of one of his friends. It was this girl with this kind of curly, red, frizzy hair or something.

Brian Bishop (82:14)

You had her picture on the fridge?

Adam Carolla (82:16)

On the fridge with a guy. Young friends. Two young friends. And I said, look at that. Got a regular Janis Joplin over here. And he went, hoo, hoo. Trust me, she's no Janis Joplin. Meaning? I don't know. She was a square Edge person or something. And then I pointed to the guy because I'm clever, and I went, well, he ain't no Bobby McGee. And he went, oh, that guy's name is Bob McGee. And I went, wow, what are the chances you point at a stranger you've never seen before?

Brian Bishop (82:46)

Nail the name.

Adam Carolla (82:47)

He said, that's my friend Bob McGee. I said, all right. It's a fairly common name, but it's your likelihood of walking into someone's kitchen or any room.

Brian Bishop (82:55)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (82:55)

And finding a random picture of two young people and pointing at the picture of the one and getting the first and last. Right. Or slim.

Brian Bishop (83:02)

And having it relate to the joke you just made or reference you just made. Yeah, that's pretty wild.

Adam Carolla (83:07)

Yeah.

Brian Bishop (83:08)

So that's Robert McGee.

Adam Carolla (83:10)

That's who.

Gary (83:11)

What, his father calls him Robert.

Adam Carolla (83:12)

That's. That's what he said. Could you guys get down with this new thought in today's Uber world? Like, today's, like, everyone loves Uber. I don't know how to do the Uber, or as my dad would call it, Goober. But, you know, when I'm walking around, we're traveling around through Cincinnati, and I'm saying to Mike, how far off is he? And it's like he said, about three minutes. And I go, oh, did he just text you back? No, I got a map here. It shows where he is. You know, you can see him moving toward me. And whatever it is, you go, oh, my goodness. This is the world's greatest technology. Could you guys. So it's information, information, and more information. And we're all better for it because we can all check into our flights online now before we have to go down there and print stuff out and do everything. Everything's better because of this information that we have. Right. And as it pertains to travel, it's really helped us. And whether it's pre check, whether it's checking in the night before, whether it's checking if your flight's on time online, or then pinging you if it's delayed, whatever. And all that. You and all of the Ubery stuff and find the restaurant that you want to find near the hotel and everything. Okay, good. It's all good. The one part that has not changed for, you know, since innkeepers were having weary travelers stop along the trail is the check in, check out part. That information is not shareable, and it's locked in stone. And let me. Let me tell you this. Every single time these days I travel, Matt and I have to get into this discussion. What time do you want to leave Foxwoods in Connecticut to get to Boston to go to the Wilbur Theater. What time should the car leave? I don't know why he asked me every time because I always go, what time's the check in at the hotel in Boston? There's no use leaving at 10am Having a 90 minute car ride, ending up with a bunch of Samsonite in the middle of Boston and not being able to do anything. Four hours. So you tell me when they can house me.

Gary (85:20)

How do we time it right?

Adam Carolla (85:21)

And now it's 3 o'clock. It's check in and check out is usually 11 or noon or whatever. But now every single time, because I run into this, I say to Matt, like, okay, Matt, what time's the flight out of Cincinnati? Well, it's 3 in the afternoon. Ooh. Well, we're gonna have to check out at 1 or anew. Can we get a late checkout so we can check out at one and then just go straight to the airport instead of put our bags down there and sit around the lobby or whatever? The answer always is the same answer. Don't know. It's a day of decision.

Brian Bishop (85:55)

Can't guarantee it.

Gary (85:56)

That's true.

Adam Carolla (85:56)

You gotta find out if the person who's coming to the room or was previously in the room or whatever it is. But easiest question in the world for me and Mike August and you and everyone else who does all our traveling is, oh, Sunday morning. Well, somebody's gonna check into this Boston and it's. I don't know what the hotel is. It always starts with airport. That's all I know when it comes to me and travel. But we are jumping on a 7:25 flight out of Boston Sunday morning. Yeah, we are. We will be in the lobby at 5:30 getting ready to leave, if not early. Why should the hotel tell the next person who's checking into that room. Sorry, no can do. Before 3:00pm yeah, yeah. Why couldn't that person with the knowledge, the advanced knowledge that me, I mean I'd probably been done beaten off for like nine hours by the time that next. Or showering. Yeah, showering for like nine hours before. Why, why does that next person have to show up and then find out and then be told, sir, like why can't they ask? Or when they're doing like, okay, what, what is your itinerary? Right, the itinerary possibly pass along a break, possibly charge the other person an extra 25 bucks. If you wanted, my room could be ready at 9am for the next person if in the maid wanted to swing by at 7am, do her business for 20 minutes, that room is ready. I will be walking out the door at 5:20. Almost every Sunday we do one of these gigs. I walk out the door. Latest 8am more toward 5:30am and same with all the different times of arrivals. Why not Hotel chains lock in this piece of information and if they'd like use it to their advantage.

Brian Bishop (87:55)

Yeah, I agree. I think in order to, in an effort to streamline the checkout process, most of us don't even check out anymore. Just walk right out and they figure it out. When 11 o'clock comes and you're not in the room. They have, they have screwed themselves. Like you said, when you check in, what time do you think I might be departing tomorrow, sir? Sometimes I'll be, don't know, we'll see other most of the time it's going to be oh, 8am flight, noon flight.

Gary (88:17)

Whatever that's any of your business.

Brian Bishop (88:18)

And they'll make a note and they'll say, oh, he'll probably be out of the room by this time so let's clean it up and get a little, you know. They should lay the track in order to streamline the process.

Adam Carolla (88:26)

Well, 102% of the human beings that are staying there when they leave are heading to the airport or the train station or something. Nobody's like my mom's place is walking distance and I live there.

Brian Bishop (88:37)

So there's probably a small percentage of people who are semi local and could drive home at 10 or 10:30 or 11. But you're right, most of the people are like 8am flight. I'll be out of here at 6:40 so start cleaning the room for the.

Adam Carolla (88:48)

Next guy and when then I am coming in after the all nighter. See now they have this thing where it's like two weekends ago Mike and I were flying all night. We're landing in Cincinnati in the morning. Well there's no check in till three so we had to buy the room for the night before. But not spend the night there. I say slide it around. There's got to be somebody in that hotel that has. Well there's somebody's in that. Somebody's in that hotel that has 26 floors and 500 rooms. Somebody's leaving at 5:30 in the morning just like I. And when Mike and I walk up we can just go hop into the room after it's made up. Yes.

Brian Bishop (89:32)

Process could be streamlined and made more efficient. Okay, absolutely.

Adam Carolla (89:35)

Thank you. Brian agrees.

Brian Bishop (89:38)

So you know we're right.

Gary (89:39)

Put on the Calendar.

Brian Bishop (89:39)

Well, I agree. I, I, there have been plenty of times where we've had the situation where either check in, like, oh, we landed it, you know, 11, and it's like, I can't check in until, you know, two or whatever.

Gary (89:49)

Well, I feel like they, they always leave, you know, the 10am to 3pm window, five hour window. That's when the maids come, that's when housekeeping is. And it never shall change.

Adam Carolla (89:58)

Yeah.

Gary (89:59)

So I feel like that's the bubble. So they got to work with the bubble.

Adam Carolla (90:01)

All right, somebody. Ron, this is, this is an answer I want. All I want is some satisfaction Ron shall provide. Yeah, because we asked Bill Simmons, the sports guy, I said to him, why, when I watch SportsCenter, why the NFL wrap up shows do I have to get the huge score? Full scre. Now, the final score before the highlights, which are edited in a way to provide a little intrigue and like, drama. Why do I need to see the outcome first? And then Bill Simmons came in here and said, well, it's all over the Internet. So that's why they do it. But that's my argument and Brian's argument for why they shouldn't do it, which is, yes, you can find the score, but if you don't and you want to watch it, you want to ingest.

Brian Bishop (90:53)

It this way, your one advantage as a TV show is to show the highlight package in order dramatically.

Adam Carolla (90:58)

Well, Ron is a sports broadcasting professor at the University of Las Vegas and wants to explain how the highlights work and why they do that. Ron.

Gina Grad (91:08)

Hey there, Adam. How are you? Gina. Bald, bald. Congrats again on the little one.

Adam Carolla (91:13)

Don't care.

Brian Bishop (91:14)

Well, I care. Thank you very much.

Gary (91:16)

You're very nice.

Gina Grad (91:17)

Yes, somebody does care.

Adam Carolla (91:19)

Ron, please, can you please do this? Please make me feel satisfied when we're done with this. Because I went on an epic rant once. When we did Loveline and we did. I was 10 minutes into TV on MTV and it was like I was doing Loveline on MTV, but I was doing Loveline the radio. And I did about a 10 minute rant on the radio where it was like, we're doing show 209 and whatever it is. And I was like, can't they just go in order? Just go show one, show two, show three, show four, just go in order. That'll be what show it is. And I did this epic, epic rant. And then one of the producers I ran into the following day heard the rant and said, the reason we do 101 and 2 0, because we know it's season one, season two. And that's why we do it with the three digits versus just show one, show 15s. And I went, oh. I paused, I said, yeah, but still.

Brian Bishop (92:20)

But you understood.

Adam Carolla (92:21)

But I walked away feeling very satisfied as to why we had to have a three digit. Why show one? Or just, for example, show five was show 105. I was like, what do we need all these digits for? It's just confusing. But now we know. So, Ron, am I going to experience that same sense of satisfaction?

Gina Grad (92:40)

No, you will not. No, you won't be as satisfied in. The answer is predictable. And I bet you probably know the answer. And it involves. I did sports here at the ABC station for 25 years.

Adam Carolla (92:51)

We just saw you on TV. Gary 3 up there, handsome gen. Yeah, very easy on the doing.

Gina Grad (92:58)

Doing stuff with the CBS station here. And also a couple of years ago they asked me to teach sports broadcasting at unlv, which I said, yeah, I think I can do that. Let's go.

Adam Carolla (93:06)

Yeah.

Gina Grad (93:06)

So anyway, and one of the things that I have mentioned in my students is to coordinate between the graphics people, the chiron people and the people that are putting on the show. And it is as simple as this. There is a lack of coordination. They do not coordinate the person putting the graphics in that go screen, bottom across the crawl that has the scores. There is absolutely no coordination. It would be very simple to do. It would take one person to say, hey, hold this thing, or put it at a different time or adjust the time timing while we're doing the Rams highlights. Don't show the Rams score early on in those highlights. Let the suspense carry itself out. But there is absolutely no coordination where the left. Left arm's not talking to the right arm, that sort of stuff. And it is. It's amazing to me because there's so much coordination that it takes to put on a show like that. I mean, you got so many people. Tape operators. Well, not tape anymore, but so much coordination going. Going on. But that one element they leave between the. Let fall between the cracks. Almost like they don't care.

Adam Carolla (94:11)

But Ron, Ronnie. Ronald.

Gina Grad (94:14)

Yes, Professor.

Adam Carolla (94:16)

Professor Ron. I'm saying on the NFL game day, they go full screen with the entire. Or NFL prime time as they lead into the package. They show before they go in. It is full screen. Here's the Rams bucks.

Brian Bishop (94:32)

It's like a title Guard.

Adam Carolla (94:34)

Yes.

Gina Grad (94:36)

Yeah. No. And then it's. That's just idiotic.

Adam Carolla (94:40)

I feel better now, Ron. Everyone's an idiot.

Gina Grad (94:43)

You feel better now. It's predict. Like I Said it won't be satisfying. And it is predictable in that. That's. That's just foolish.

Adam Carolla (94:50)

Well, Ron, the crawl was bad enough, but they used to do a sort of lower sort of square, and I taped a piece of paper in front of it. And then I realized, oh, it's illuminating through the PA I can see. So then I got a piece of cardboard and taped it there, but I didn't want to use duct tape because that'll ruin the screen and come off on the screen. So I used the blue painter's tape, but that doesn't stick. And hold the heavy cardboard up very well. It fell sideways half in the middle of it.

Gary (95:18)

Let's see what he's up against.

Adam Carolla (95:19)

Eventually, I had to pay a Mexican just to hold the piece of cardboard there. I don't even know what his nationality was. I got him at the Home Depot. I'm assuming it could have been El Salvadorian, but the point is, I had to hire a gentleman to just stand there and hold the lid of a shoebox over the square that showed the score of the game I was watching so I could enjoy the highlight packet.

Brian Bishop (95:41)

What's next? You turn the TV off and talk to your family?

Adam Carolla (95:44)

Don't jinx it.

Brian Bishop (95:45)

Sorry, I shouldn't even miss that.

Adam Carolla (95:46)

Don't even. Kidding.

Brian Bishop (95:47)

Cut that out.

Adam Carolla (95:48)

Yeah. So, Ron.

Gina Grad (95:50)

Yes.

Adam Carolla (95:54)

I cannot be the first person who's brought this up.

Gina Grad (95:57)

No, that's just there.

Adam Carolla (95:58)

How many? There's what, 16 games a weekend, or.

Gina Grad (96:03)

There are 16, unless there's bye weeks for some of the teams. But no. And I used to go by the theory back in the day.

Adam Carolla (96:09)

Wow. Hold on a second.

Brian Bishop (96:10)

Hold on, Professor. I don't know. Something to say.

Adam Carolla (96:13)

You have created this show. You have created this NFL prime time and NFL whatever. You've created a show that you then have slotted for the end of the NFL Sunday, presumably to get everyone caught up on what happened during those 16 games.

Brian Bishop (96:36)

Right.

Adam Carolla (96:37)

Since it's almost impossible to watch all 16 games simultaneously, or 8 and 8, and since many people don't have the full package or they're only watching their local whatever, you've created a show to catch everyone up on what happened today in the NFL. Why would you want to spoil all of their parties?

Brian Bishop (96:58)

Support creators choice?

Adam Carolla (97:00)

You'd feel like there's nobody on Selleck. Nobody raises their hand and goes, why? Why we. What have we what? And then you can make the Bill Simmons argument, which I would just throw back right back in your face. Oh, they already know on they already know. If they Check. And I'm like, okay, well, then they already know. So what do we need it for then? I'm making. I'm using your argument. Sorry, Ron.

Gina Grad (97:18)

What I. What I've always done when I did sports and when I do sports, when I teach my students to act as if the people have not seen the game and they have no idea of what the score is, even though they may. Even though they may. And likely.

Adam Carolla (97:31)

Well, they do, but act that way anyway. Well, yeah.

Gina Grad (97:36)

And do it in the present tense when somebody. When somebody throws a touchdown past. Talk about it like it's in the present tense, not like it already happens.

Adam Carolla (97:44)

You know what I would say to your students? You know what I would say, Ron? I'd say, because I want to identify and relate with the younger people. I'd say in a little movie called Jaws, a fellow by the name of Roy Scheider. Do you think somewhere in Act 1, when he was in the kitchen with his wife was like, whoo, we got a man eating shark out there. A good thing. I'm gonna blow it up with an air tank in about 45 minutes or something. But otherwise we should be worried. Like, no, at that moment, he's treating it like he doesn't know that. I'm sure Roy read the entire script.

Brian Bishop (98:18)

Realize what happens.

Adam Carolla (98:19)

He had to have read the script. Script. He knew what was going. They could have shot that. That scene before they shot the kitchen wife scene because they always shoot out of order. But yet not a hint from Roy looked very concerned about this man eating predator that was in his bay, and.

Brian Bishop (98:36)

As such, the drama ratchet it up.

Adam Carolla (98:39)

Or he could have just shown that scene at the very beginning and then got into the movie, in which case we wouldn't have enjoyed it, which would.

Gina Grad (98:47)

Be what NFL does by showing the score.

Adam Carolla (98:49)

Right. How many. How many of those students are Scheider fans or big Scheider fans? They're all Scheider fans.

Gina Grad (98:56)

No, they know Kanye west. And we did discuss last night Kanye west and of course, the theft that happened in France. That was one of the. One of the discussions last night, by the way. I have also told my students, you may appreciate this, to build their own pirate ship and get on social media. Don't worry about the old, what I call the old mutual. Getting jobs with old radio stations, TV stations, that sort of stuff too. And I use the phrase, and I do qualify it, I explain it, and I do mention your name in the class to the students so that they know where this came from. And some of the other Professors have started using the phrase build your own pirate ship to mean get social media, build a website, start doing podcasts, doing these things that you can build as a student right now to be able to get. You know, there are people. What's crazy is there's people in the media that are being hired now by old media outlets because they have a large number of Twitter followers.

Adam Carolla (99:52)

But, Ron, can I ask you this on a serious note? Do you have a safe space for kids that are scared of pirates? Because this pirate talk is a microaggression. Is it not on campus. I mean, these guys were pretty scary guys. You know what, they abused women.

Brian Bishop (100:08)

They pillaged Frank.

Adam Carolla (100:09)

Yeah.

Brian Bishop (100:10)

Rum all the time.

Adam Carolla (100:11)

Called him wench.

Gina Grad (100:12)

There's no. I've warned them. There's no safe space in my class. We do sports and we're going to say some things that aren't politically correct.

Adam Carolla (100:19)

Ron, what is.

Gina Grad (100:20)

Learn how to do it. Yeah.

Adam Carolla (100:21)

What is.

Brian Bishop (100:21)

Looking for a job next year?

Adam Carolla (100:22)

Ron, what was your call? Like if somebody hit a home run or scored a hockey goal. Yeah.

Brian Bishop (100:27)

What was your booyah?

Adam Carolla (100:28)

Do you have one?

Gina Grad (100:29)

I had no booyah.

Adam Carolla (100:31)

I had no booyah.

Brian Bishop (100:32)

Hence why he's teaching it off.

Gina Grad (100:35)

What. Here's what I would do. Sometimes with the co anchors on set, I would ask them to make the call to include the father and mother, because on a new set, you have the nuclear family sitting there.

Adam Carolla (100:46)

Oh, interesting. Never thought about it. Yeah, you got to have the mom and the dad are the anchors, and then the daughter's the weather girl. The sports guys, the son.

Gina Grad (100:56)

Oh, yeah, we're the kids. And so I would say you guys make the call. What do you think? Home run, run, foul ball. And the anchors wouldn't. Usually we get it wrong, but I would let them just make the call. Or you. Or here's what you do. You just let it go. Nat sound, natural sound. And let whoever's on air at that time make the call because it's much more emotional. So, no, I wasn't a play by play guy. So I didn't have my own. Have to develop my, you know, my Vin Scully, my Dickenberg, whatever it was.

Giovanni (101:22)

Right.

Gina Grad (101:23)

So. So no, I just.

Adam Carolla (101:24)

Right. That. That was Ron's tact until I think it was 19 when he threw it to an anchor and he said, that guy just dry anal raped the shit out of that field goal. And then at that point, Ron had to rethink that strategy.

Brian Bishop (101:44)

The director got in the earpiece and had.

Adam Carolla (101:48)

That was the last time Ron did that. Yeah.

Gary (101:50)

First and last.

Gina Grad (101:51)

No I said it went over those lower up the goal posts and we couldn't tell whether it was good or bad.

Adam Carolla (101:57)

Oh, when they had those lower ones. Oh, so many. So many.

Gina Grad (102:01)

Yes.

Adam Carolla (102:01)

Who would have thought we would have the technology. We wouldn't have had the technology until 2014 and a half to raise that thin wall, thin gauge, 5 inch wide steel, another 10ft. Thank God.

Brian Bishop (102:15)

Thanks, Ron. We hadn't talked about that in a year.

Adam Carolla (102:16)

Yeah, yeah.

Gina Grad (102:17)

And I'm going to say, by the way, I do want to mention this thumbs up to the, to the Paul Newman doc. Really enjoyed that. In fact, I might even assign the students to go through that of the 24 hour war.

Adam Carolla (102:28)

Yeah.

Gina Grad (102:29)

Do that for extra credit.

Adam Carolla (102:30)

And some assign those students for that. And thanks for listening, Ron. I appreciate it. And thanks for doing the pirate ship and not giving me credit.

Gary (102:38)

Yeah, he probably owes you a little more.

Adam Carolla (102:39)

No, you're giving me credit.

Brian Bishop (102:40)

Your legacy lives.

Gina Grad (102:41)

I give you credit.

Adam Carolla (102:42)

Thank you.

Brian Bishop (102:42)

Enjoy the Raiders next year.

Gina Grad (102:43)

All right, thanks.

Adam Carolla (102:44)

Thank you. It's weird. I don't know why. I mean, I know you have to have a university and a college in Las Vegas, but it feels weird, right?

Brian Bishop (102:56)

It's one of the biggest cities in the Nevada.

Adam Carolla (102:58)

I know. It just feels like if you taught at Acme College, just that was the name of it, Acme College. And somebody said, where is it? And you said it's in Massachusetts or you said it's Virginia versus Vegas. How many points would you have deducted for teaching in Vegas just in terms of just general cred, you know what I mean? Like, I'm a professor. Oh, what do you do? Teach sports broadcasting in Vegas. Oh, okay. So, Lauren. Yeah, I get it.

Brian Bishop (103:33)

Ron's still listening.

Adam Carolla (103:34)

Well, I'm saying it's like if you had, you know, if you open a therapist's office, like on top of a strip club. You know what I mean? Like, all right, maybe it hasn't. One has nothing to do with another.

Gary (103:46)

But hard not to associate.

Adam Carolla (103:47)

You'd still rather have like a candle store below. You sure. You see what I'm saying?

Giovanni (103:56)

All right, this is Adam Krillin show 1919. Coming up next, we have Adam Krillo show 442. Ed Asner, Matt Asner, Shira Lazar, Brian bishop. This is 2010. This is the audition era, before Allison got the job. Check it out.

Adam Carolla (104:12)

I knew Joe Francis because, Joe, I did this thing once. I was when I was doing Love let's would come home late at night, I would see these late night infomercials. And there used to be one that I found to be despicable, which was, you know, people are sort of outraged and have their panties in a bunch over, you know, Joe Francis and what he's doing. And he's sort of using these women and without their consent, but they give consent, but they're drunk and they're South Padre island and blah, blah, blah. Okay, titties, fine. But nobody dies. It's titties and a little embarrassment. But there was a, an entire series that were people being cleaned out, literally being killed. It was a commercial. It wasn't Faces of Death, but it was one of these banned from tv. Banned from tv. Like was a whole series of. And they'd cut it. You'd see there was a famous one. I don't know where it was. I think it was maybe in Europe or something where somebody was going toit was this guy, he was like going to cross train tracks at a sort of busy area. And then at the last second, the guy stopped because he saw a bullet train essentially coming. But the woman who was next to him did not stop and was just eviscerated by this bullet train. Now they would cut it just before that. And it was planes crashing and alligators eating people. He produced live footage he was going to scare when he was doing this. And I used to see these commercials banned from television, part two, uncensored, whatever. And I used to be outraged by them because I thought the family of this woman who was cleaned out by the commuter train, this woman left behind a couple of kids and a husband. And there's no, hey, in 10 minutes we're gonna be showing this commercial. It was just, you'd turn on, you would literally go, well, you know, they'd go, we'll be right back after this break. And it'd go right to the woman on the tracks. And I thought, why should these people's families have to. I mean, you'd be scared to turn on the TV set. Imagine if you were, you know, the woman looked like she was 40. Imagine if you were her 18 year old son. You'd be scared shitless. And I was like, what kind of human garbage would do.

Shira Lazar (106:29)

Compile the best of those moments and.

Adam Carolla (106:31)

Then sell them for. Not to mention, you want to talk about, you know, when, when the FBI gets their list together of possible Al Qaeda sympathizers. How about a list of the douchebags who put down their credit card to see a bunch of people eaten by fucking grizzly bears? Did he do bump fight? No, I don't think that was him. I bet he wishes he thought of it. Yeah, I know. Yeah. But no, it was a shocking ban from TV video. And there's some sort of thing where, in the case of the commuter train, it was a surveillance camera, and I think you could just buy the footage from whoever. Whack it up. He was a student at USC at the time. I was railing about it, saying basically that I hoped his parents died in some horrible way and somebody filmed it and then profited off it and that. And lots of people buy it. Right. Young.

Shira Lazar (107:23)

I don't even know.

Adam Carolla (107:23)

Again, the people that are attracted to other people's misfortune. It's so sad to me. It says so much about you, by the way. You want to fucking look in the mirror? Mirror. I mean, really. You. You get. Someone goes, hey, man, did you see footage of that guy being taken apart by the Kodiak Bear? And I go, no. And they go, you want to see? I go, no, I don't want to see it. I got to beat off in six.

Shira Lazar (107:46)

Hours on YouTube these days, all these videos. There was a video of. The parents found the video of their daughter who had died in a car accident on YouTube becoming a viral video.

Adam Carolla (107:56)

It's insane. I don't want any. See the woman on Oprah that got her eyes taken out by the monkey. It's like, no, I'm bummed out, and Jesus Christ. But then, you know, every once in a while, you do have that video where no one gets hurt. Yeah, Like. Like the. I don't know. Did you see the. The. The old woman driving on the wrong side of the freeway like, a week ago? Anytime where the. I don't care if the guy said. If you say, look, I got a video of a guy being brutally raped by Kodiak Bear, but he was fine with it. I'm in now. I'm in. Now I can watch. But if someone was injured. Injured or especially killed, I don't want to see it.

Matt Asner (108:32)

Yeah, good, good.

Adam Carolla (108:33)

That's. But that's just me, unless it involves a plane, and for some reason, I'll watch it because I did see the planes going into the towers on 9 11.

Shira Lazar (108:43)

Well, that was just. You needed to see that.

Adam Carolla (108:47)

I saw the towers coming down, too. I. Call me a hypocrite, but that I could not turn away from. I don't know. I felt like that was history.

Shira Lazar (108:54)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (108:54)

Or something. Something.

Matt Asner (108:55)

Yeah.

Shira Lazar (108:57)

You needed to see it to be part of the conversation.

Adam Carolla (109:00)

Ed, what do you think you're gonna get him started? You're gonna get him started on not one Jew in the building. What's going on? Conspiracy. Really? What's up Ed?

Shira Lazar (109:08)

What do you know?

Adam Carolla (109:09)

Go ahead.

Matt Asner (109:09)

No, I just. I just believe it.

Adam Carolla (109:12)

What's the conspiracy part?

Matt Asner (109:14)

What's the conspiracy part?

Adam Carolla (109:15)

Yeah, I mean that you believe in Matt. You want to go out in the parking lot and put your hand.

Shira Lazar (109:19)

You get it to go to war? Is that what you're saying?

Matt Asner (109:21)

I mean these are all facts which are out there. People will take the time to stop watching.

Adam Carolla (109:26)

Let's hear it.

Matt Asner (109:27)

Rob Schneider said, ed, I thought you'd know better. But I don't think he's examined it by any means. And so I preach it.

Adam Carolla (109:40)

Let's hear it.

Matt Asner (109:42)

No high rise has ever gone down by fire. Those buildings fell at the rate of gravity and 10 seconds flat so close to it.

Adam Carolla (109:53)

So what is the thought now? There were. There were million. Now here's, here's Ed as somebody who's done a little.

Matt Asner (109:58)

I don't want to take away.

Adam Carolla (110:02)

And I just want to see Matt squirm. Anyway the. No, seriously, because here's how I know it to have happened. The I beams that this thing is built of, they put fire retardant material on these I beams. If you go into an underground parking structure and you look up, you see it looks like it's had acoustic cottage cheese stuff blown all over it. Well, that's fire retardant because steel does melt at a fairly low temperature and they put fire. Now I had heard Ed, that when the impact of the plane knocked a lot of that stuff off of these beams and then when the jet A fuel started burning, the beams melted. But to that you would say what Bullshit.

Jay Chandrasekhar (110:45)

Really?

Adam Carolla (110:46)

Well then who's, who's behind it then?

Matt Asner (110:49)

We'll never know from the type of.

Adam Carolla (110:51)

Who do you think is behind it?

Matt Asner (110:53)

I think that there is a certain area of government which probably participated in this somehow.

Adam Carolla (111:01)

In what way turned a blind eye or actually participated? Well, I mean in a more proactive.

Matt Asner (111:08)

Lanes couldn't have brought them down by themselves.

Adam Carolla (111:10)

So you're saying that there were explosives in the building buildings.

Matt Asner (111:14)

Why did building seven come down?

Adam Carolla (111:16)

You mean the one that was not one of the world trade 100 yards.

Matt Asner (111:20)

Away from the twin towers?

Adam Carolla (111:22)

That one came down as well. Well why would that one come down? Well, I don't know but I mean they put explosives in that one and, and that was the way that housed.

Matt Asner (111:33)

All of the official record. It was a 47 story building and the chief of all security in the twin tower complex was Killed, I think, in one of the Twin Towers. But all of the records for all of the investigative agencies were all buried and secreted in the Building Seven, by the way.

Adam Carolla (112:01)

But Ed, don't you. Here's the way I feel about our government. I don't feel like they're good enough to pull this off. And I feel like they're always talking. There's somebody talking at some point, like, I'll give you an example. You know, when, when we went in, when, when Bush said, hey, Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction. And thus that is our excuse to roll in there and take that place over. And then later on we found out, well, turns out he didn't have any of the WMDs. So why did we find out there were no weapons of mass destruction? If our government is good at doing conspiracies, wouldn't somebody said, hey, dig a hole in the desert, put a couple of barrels of mustard gas in there and then Bush is not going to look like an ass wipe. And then we're not going to look like ass wipes. We're declaring war on a country because they had weapons of mass destruction that we never found. How come we couldn't even pull off that simple task?

Matt Asner (112:58)

Because it wasn't the same Department of government.

Adam Carolla (113:01)

Is it different? Yeah, the ones that aren't good at conspiracy.

Matt Asner (113:04)

That's right.

Adam Carolla (113:04)

Don't you feel though that somebody's gonna pop up on 60 Minutes?

Matt Asner (113:08)

No, they die too easily.

Adam Carolla (113:10)

Oh, really? There's one, there's one that I got your next documentary to work on, by the way. There's one that I thought was really amazing which was the, the, the plane going in or the so called plane going into the Pentagon? You know that if they say, if you look at the video, it's not a plane, it's something else. What is it? What do you think it is?

Matt Asner (113:30)

A missile? Possibly.

Adam Carolla (113:32)

And so you're saying, Ed, that the plane hits the tower, burns, and our explosive charges set off to bring the tower down?

Matt Asner (113:44)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (113:44)

And how come watching the video, you don't seem to see any of the explosion? I mean, you see the thing pancaking on itself, but I don't see the initial explosion.

Matt Asner (113:54)

There are puffs going on. I can't tell whether the puffs are merely the decompression of each floor as it goes down or what, but there are puffs which could be the explosion.

Adam Carolla (114:03)

And this is done. But to what? What's the upside of this? To be able to declare war. But is there an easier way to do That, I mean like I said, just plant some WMDs somewhere and gas a couple locals.

Matt Asner (114:18)

Kill 3,000 people.

Adam Carolla (114:20)

Well, no, I'm saying why?

Matt Asner (114:22)

And launch it in sufficient numbers.

Adam Carolla (114:25)

I feel like we've started wars over less.

Matt Asner (114:28)

We have. But I think the people in all of their stupidity have gotten a little smarter. So you can't easily pull a Gulf of Tonkin. It's got to be on a bigger scale. Vietnam, the lying has to be bigger. The two chiefs of the 911 Commission have both stated that the CIA did not complete informed them, that they were denied information. And my bottom line in all of this is that this country which is the greatest, strongest country that ever existed in the world in terms of power, supposedly had a defense which could not be penetrated. All these years waiting for the Russians. No, no, no. But all of that was eradicated by 19 Saudi Arabians supposedly. Some of whom who didn't even know how to fly. One of the one that supposedly flew into the Pentagon did a hundred and eighty degree turn which experienced pilots say can't be done.

Adam Carolla (115:34)

Well, who's going to do then? Who's going to do the documentary on this? Why not?

Shira Lazar (115:41)

He wants to be.

Adam Carolla (115:42)

Would you be scared for mad? There was one actually.

Shira Lazar (115:45)

Fahrenheit 11.

Adam Carolla (115:45)

9.

Shira Lazar (115:46)

11.

Adam Carolla (115:46)

Charlie Sheen did one, didn't he?

Matt Asner (115:48)

No, there. There have been a number of documentaries, but seriously. But they're done on a grand scale.

Adam Carolla (115:53)

Take a break from raping hookers and really see if I can get a doctor.

Shira Lazar (115:56)

That's a deep one for Charlie.

Adam Carolla (115:57)

During my refractory period. Yeah. Wow. You know, it's Thanksgiving like at the Asner house is what I want to know. Kennedy was shot by more than the kids. Cubans were. Yeah. You must. Kennedy. I shouldn't get you started on Kennedy.

Matt Asner (116:15)

I don't care by the way that.

Adam Carolla (116:17)

One I buy into. But they're all, I mean all the stuff, I mean, I mean all the major ones. You're. You're on the conspiracy side. Okay.

Matt Asner (116:28)

Bobby Kennedy. Sirhan Sirhan had seven bullets in his gun or eight. There are 12 bullet holes in that room with documented proof.

Adam Carolla (116:42)

Now we're on a Bobby Kennedy now, but we have footage of him being shot, right?

Matt Asner (116:47)

I don't know.

Adam Carolla (116:48)

Yeah, there's footage or there's. I don't know if there's footage. There's audio of him being shot. Oh, oh, you mean it goes off screen and I think you hear it and then in, in going through the kitchen. Ambassador. In the Ambassador Hotel. Yeah. So you're saying there's A conspiracy around Bobby Kennedy, too?

Matt Asner (117:07)

I think so, yeah. Paul Schraed, who was wounded and left for dead at the site, I think.

Adam Carolla (117:16)

Certainly believes who would have gotten rid of. Who wanted to get rid of Bobby Kennedy.

Matt Asner (117:20)

Well, he probably would have ceased the Vietnam War.

Adam Carolla (117:25)

So this is all about the industrial war machine. Well, you know, the one part of this I will agree with you on is it is a first off, if you're manufacturing tanks and mortars and claymore mines, you probably don't have an emotional problem with killing a person or two. It's kind of your business. I mean, people killing people is sort of your business. At least you do have that going for you. And then the other part is it is a massive, massive business that is either the most profitable thing in the world or when you're not engaged in a war that's a lot of factory space that ain't being put to use that far. I definitely will go with you on Ed. We're out of time. But again, during Thanksgiving, when I come by the Answer House and we pick up this conversation where we left off, I will enjoy every second.

Brian Bishop (118:18)

Adam, you know we have very smart listeners. Listeners, right?

Adam Carolla (118:20)

Yes.

Brian Bishop (118:21)

Nothing would please me more if a listener took the best of it Asner's conspiracy theories from this episode and synced it up with the video of Up.

Adam Carolla (118:30)

That would be a YouTube sensation. That'd be fantastic.

Matt Asner (118:34)

I just want to close. I feel badly because I wanted Matthew to be very strongly featured.

Adam Carolla (118:41)

Oh, no, no, no.

Matt Asner (118:42)

And I just want to tell you that the Mute music from A Hundred Voices. Forget the idea of cantorial. It is some of the most gorgeous music you will ever hear.

Adam Carolla (118:54)

And some of those gorgeous voices, Matt and Ed Asner. Now, would it be House or would.

Shira Lazar (119:00)

It be Shalom Aleichem?

Adam Carolla (119:05)

Ed Asner has got a sitcom coming up on the CMT network that begins in January. And of course, Matt Asner, 100 Voices, A Journey Home. The documentary. It's coming out. Is it this Friday? Did we. This Thursday? This Thursday in 100 theaters. And no pun intended. And then we open in five markets on the 12th. And Ed, don't worry about Matt. He's a big boy. He comes back here all the time and plugs his stuff.

Matt Asner (119:34)

Oh, I know, I know, but I'm so proud of. Of what he did there.

Adam Carolla (119:38)

Yeah, he. He chip off the old block. And next time, we'll get into the Bay of Pigs with Ed Asner. So until next time, this is Adam Perolla for Brian Bald. Brian Shira Lazar. Matt and his Pops Ed Asner saying mahalo. And now Stitcher radio presents your Adam Carolla extra. All right, Shira.

Shira Lazar (120:02)

Yes.

Adam Carolla (120:03)

Do you remember she Ra, Lord of the jungle.

Shira Lazar (120:04)

Shira, Princess of power.

Adam Carolla (120:06)

Oh, is it? Princess of power? Well, who's the lord of the jungle?

Brian Bishop (120:09)

I think you're showing your age difference.

Shira Lazar (120:11)

What?

Brian Bishop (120:12)

Either way, she Ra is he. Man's like lady, right? And she Ra is like lord of the jungle or queen of the jungle or something.

Adam Carolla (120:18)

Either way, I beat off to your cartoon doppelganger. And I just want you. I'm up front with. Wasn't you, but it was you, you know, and if someone drew you, that's all.

Shira Lazar (120:29)

As a superhero.

Adam Carolla (120:30)

As a superhero. I'm feeling. I did Jimmy Kimmel yesterday, but yesterday for us. So I'm wearing a makeup and feeling extra confident tonight.

Shira Lazar (120:42)

The metro in you is coming out.

Adam Carolla (120:46)

Go right ahead. No, sheer's very attractive. Very attractive. And not in a bring home to mom kind of way. You know, not in a ditzy stripper kind of way. I appreciate that. Substantial. Kind of.

Shira Lazar (121:00)

I think you should add that to my Wikipedia.

Adam Carolla (121:02)

Yeah. Substantial. Substantial. Attractive. Na. You can be proud of it. Kind of.

Shira Lazar (121:07)

Because girls don't like being called cute. But I think cute's good.

Adam Carolla (121:11)

No, you're not cute. You got good bones, baby.

Shira Lazar (121:13)

I appreciate that. Good bone structure. Speaking of good bone structure, the Biebs.

Adam Carolla (121:18)

The Biebs want to smell like the Biebs. She got a fucking cologne coming out.

Shira Lazar (121:23)

Um, yes.

Adam Carolla (121:26)

What? And that would smell like what, a learner's permit with its hat on sideways? Sure.

Shira Lazar (121:30)

It's a little bit of a twist here. Because it's not for men. It's for the lady.

Adam Carolla (121:35)

Of course.

Shira Lazar (121:36)

Of course.

Adam Carolla (121:36)

And the Biebs. Like, when these guys come out with a book, do people. Can you keep a fucking straight face? Like when you were 16, did you have anything to say? Oh, the lessons, the love and the law.

Shira Lazar (121:49)

It's just gonna be pictures of him, you know, it's gonna be a picture book, right? So he already has everything. He has his biography, he has a fragrance. His agents are doing.

Adam Carolla (121:56)

Well, do these guys get famous because they're famous? And then it just kind of becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and a weird sort of momentum, like some fast moving avalanche. It can't be stopped. I mean, I know I'm. I'm. I'm the guy who's always out of it. And I was out of it. I'm proud to say that I've always been out of it. Like, it's not like well, listen, old pops Corolla, you ain't listen to Justin Bieber. No, I never bought into anything when everyone was listening to all the shitty music of the 80s. I didn't buy into. Even when I was the right age.

Shira Lazar (122:31)

I didn't buy into bullshit pop group type thing. It's like the New Kids on the Block for me at least.

Adam Carolla (122:37)

I'm just so tired of guys without pubes singing, girl, exactly.

Shira Lazar (122:43)

You listen to him singing Baby Baby, and you're like, do you understand what you're singing about?

Adam Carolla (122:48)

It's always been that way, though. I mean, fucking Michael Jackson when he's seven and a half. Like, hey, girl, if we could just get a few moments. What the fuck? What are you gonna do? Pull out your miniature cock with no pubes on it and do what?

Shira Lazar (123:01)

Oh, this is even. This makes it even better. Not only is he launching a perfume, but he's launching a range of nail polishes with colors inspired by his hit single.

Adam Carolla (123:09)

Jesus Christ. So sad.

Shira Lazar (123:12)

Talk about ancillary businesses.

Adam Carolla (123:14)

I know. And by the way, you know, when people go. To be fair to these kids, when people go like, what the hell's up with Joe? Why would he. Why would he. Why would he. Let me me explain why. Somebody goes to his mom who's managing him and goes, hey, want to make a quick million bucks? All he's got to do is put his fucking name on this glittery nail polish, we'll get the fuck out of here. No sign here. He does. That's. Why would he. Like when people say to me, why would you write a book? Or what? Why? You know, you're not a writer. Like, I go, no, I know it's not my idea. Somebody comes up to you and goes, hey, we'll give you money. At least this involves some work. Yeah.

Shira Lazar (123:47)

And now he's just surrounded by Diddy and all these other guys. And, you know, I must say, the rappers and all this, they take whatever they can get, like the endorsements.

Adam Carolla (123:54)

And what the fuck does Diddy do? Did. He doesn't do shit. He rips off other people's songs. What the fuck? It's so insane. I just got back from New York. I had to see 80 story picture of Diddy holding his fist up, doing the 1968 Olympic thing with the black athletes on the podium doing the one fisting. He even rips off his fucking stance from shit. Everything. He does a fucking ripoff. He doesn't sing, he talks. He takes cashmere. They play cashmere. They play the fucking riff. They play the Guitar riff from Kashmir. He talks in front of it, then he comes out with a fucking line of cologne. What are we doing? Buying the fucking records. And to all you ass wipes who think it's okay to sample. You're fucking high. It flies in the fence of artistry. Hey, I'm gonna sample some of George Carlin's jokes. Hey, why don't you sample some of Richard? No, you don't sample. It's fucking art. You can't sample. That's. It's the. The antithesis of art. It's so fucking lazy. It's preposterous.

Shira Lazar (125:00)

And we make it okay because we're like, oh yeah, it's a remake. It's a remix.

Adam Carolla (125:04)

It's a remix. It's a real whatever. No, you're taking Led Zeppelin songs and ripping them off. It's, it's. It's plagiarism. It's sonic plag. You ass wives. If. Obviously if you had an ounce of talent. Yeah. And then, and then all the other who sit around me go, sorry, but you ass wipes go, hey, I. I like this song. I kind of like this.

Jay Chandrasekhar (125:30)

We groove dude.

Adam Carolla (125:30)

I like this song. It's like. Yeah, you like it because like.

Shira Lazar (125:34)

Does this sound familiar?

Adam Carolla (125:36)

Yeah, cuz Robert Plant came up with it in 1976. You. You sticks.

Brian Bishop (125:41)

You realize this is exactly what I do. I take other people's words and make them new and funny.

Adam Carolla (125:46)

But you're in bald.

Shira Lazar (125:49)

So if he was making money would be wrong.

Adam Carolla (125:50)

Yeah. So it's like Diddy with a toothpick hanging out, sunglasses he sold. Oh, wait a minute. I like this part. Oh yeah.

Brian Bishop (125:58)

Oh, Diddy out.

Adam Carolla (126:00)

Did he outdid himself on this part?

Brian Bishop (126:02)

He's on something here.

Adam Carolla (126:03)

Yeah. Hey, I got movie idea called wizard of Oz. Yeah, it's about munchkins and well, there's a song about a rainbow. There's an evil witch and a Dorothy. She got a dog named Toto. It's awesome. Write that down. It makes make a million.

Shira Lazar (126:20)

You're a mastermind.

Adam Carolla (126:22)

Oh, Jesus Christ. And then, and then when Biggie Smalls died, he had to come out with another. It's like quickly, I need a. A. A down tempo Moreau song to rip. Yeah.

Shira Lazar (126:34)

Akon. Akon is the man.

Adam Carolla (126:36)

Yeah. Anyone who comes up with their own is fine. God forbid someone play a instrument. But you ripping off other people's riffs is. It's not, it's not your song ass. It's someone else's song. And like I said, would you use it in Movies. Could you use it in art and paintings? Hey. Oh, God. God, yeah. This is you. This is then when Big Boy died or when Biggie Smalls died. This is a fitting tribute. I'm gonna rip off a fucked out Police.

Shira Lazar (127:12)

This is a really good song, by the way.

Adam Carolla (127:14)

This to me is being ripped, being raped with a double fisted, double ended dildo. Because not only is this a horrible Police song, it then turned into. Into a horrible trilogy or eulogy for Biggie Smalls. It's so out. Every breath you take, every step you make, I'll be watching. It's just a slow dirge. It's such a dirty piece. Okay, but isn't it.

Brian Bishop (127:40)

Isn't it one of those songs. This is already over time. Is it one of those songs that if you. If you heard it today for the first time, you'd be like, wow, that's pretty awesome.

Adam Carolla (127:50)

I will never give it awesome. It's just always like, all right, at least it's interesting.

Shira Lazar (127:54)

Somebody tries something.

Adam Carolla (127:55)

No, no, sorry if it's new.

Brian Bishop (127:57)

I mean, you know what I mean.

Adam Carolla (127:58)

The police version of it is too slow and too drawn out and too sort of nursery rhyming to me. But I would say at least it's original and it's interesting and it's different. I'm not going to listen to it, but it's interesting and different.

Shira Lazar (128:11)

I guess the distinction is between respect and. And just liking a beat, right?

Adam Carolla (128:15)

It just. You're no. People are stupid when they hear familiar. They bite like fucking carp. They bite like fucking big mouth bass on something shiny. And then you just rip off a shitty nursery rhyme that the police did. But at least it's theirs. Oh, this is so shitty. And it's such too. All right, I'm done. We're done. I'm angry. That's it. That was your Adam Carolla extra on Stitcher Radio Video.

Giovanni (128:49)

All right, this is Adam Krillo show 442 with Ed Asner. An episode Adam often references. Hope you guys enjoyed this episode of Corolla Classics. That'll do it for this week. Till next time and get it on.