← Adam Carolla Show
Adam Carolla Show
From Parks & Rec Jim O’Heir + Legendary Actor Tim Matheson
02:39:01
The show opens with Adam explaining how his Equinox gym membership was nearly thwarted by the world’s other four “Adam Carollas” and watching the Jake Paul/Mike Tyson fight at Jimmy Kimmel’s house....
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- [00:01]
Adam Carolla
US Cellular gifting is hard, but here's a hint. Give the gift of connection from US Cellular. Not sure what that means. Here's a slightly more specific hint. You can choose four free phones and get four lines for $90 a month from US Cellular. Your family wants new phones? How do we know? Well, they told us using their own old phone we could barely hear. The good news is that compared to wrapping presents, you're great at getting hints. So take the hint and get them four free phones and four lines for $90 a month only with US Cellular. US Cellular built for us. Listen. Do you hear that? That's the sound of brilliant wealth management decisions being made. Using thoughtful analysis and unique insights to chart a path most investors miss. It may not be loud and exciting, but that's how you build wealth over time. At PNC Private bank, our team of.
- [01:06]
Jim O'Hare
Dedicated advisors take a steady and calculated.
- [01:09]
Adam Carolla
Approach to managing your wealth. Which might sound boring to some, but the outcomes are anything but. PNC Private bank, brilliantly born since 1865.
- [01:17]
Jim O'Hare
PNC Bank National association member, FDIC.
- [01:20]
Adam Carolla
Well, in this episode, a friend from Parks and Recreation, Jim O'Hare joins us. Lovely guy. Also, legendary actor Tim Matheson from Animal House and everything else gonna join us as well. Mayhem's got the news and we'll do all that right after this.
- [01:38]
Jason Mayhem Miller
I love reality TV on Pluto tv.
- [01:41]
Adam Carolla
Same.
- [01:41]
Jason Mayhem Miller
And I love that it's free. It gives me the freedom to watch Bravo's Real Housewives Vault channel. I'm totally free to watch Bad Girls Club. I'm free for Jersey Shore love and hip. I'm free all day. Survivor. I'm free all night. With hundreds of free reality shows, you are totally free to watch what you love on Pluto tv. Pluto TV Stream now. Hey, never.
- [02:07]
Adam Carolla
Hey, fans of freedom and open discussion. I'm heading over to Substack and there's an ad free audio and video version of the Adam Carolla show that's going to be waiting there in the near future. You'll even be able to watch ACS live unedited as we record it. Participate in the show via live chat. That'll be coming up very soon. You also get an ad free version of the Adam Kurl and Dr. Drew show. You also get an exclusive to my new podcast, Beat it out, where I share unpolished ideas with my comedian buddies. The first series of episodes is going to be J. Moore. You'll get all this and more for the low, low price of nine bucks a month. A pittance for all. We're going to bring you subscribe now@adamcarolla.com substack and I'll see all of you in our new speakeasy called Substance.
- [03:13]
Tim Matheson
From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Corolla Show. Adam's guest today, actor comedian Jim O'Hare and actor Tim Matheson. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now, a man who knows a thing or two about building a great captain, Adam Carolla.
- [03:39]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, get it on. Got to get on the chest examiner. Get it on. Mayhem Miller's in studio. We got some news. Jim O'Hare, great actor from Parks and Rec, and he was also in my movie Road Hard as well. Played a club owner. Great guy. Had fun acting with him. All right, we got news. I got stuff to complain about first and then we talk a little UFC and what, whatnot. Life. Okay, listen to me. I always know what's happening before it happens because I get. I get feelings about stuff, you know, and as I've said, whenever I bring something up for the third time, that's always your opportunity to stop and go. Hmm. So nothing really works right anymore. I, as I told you guys, I couldn't vote two weeks ago, but I talked to my assistant and Joe like 11 times about. I just go to the Malibu polling. I just walk in and I vote. Just walk in, you vote? Okay. Smash cut to me sitting there and them going, we don't have you on the computer, so you can't fuck. So that's how it goes. So. But I must have asked four times. I was like, I'm just going to walk in there and vote. Just walking in and voting. I mean, Joe was sitting in the room, like four times. I just go. So I just walk. I didn't live in Malibu last election, but now I live in Malibu. I just go, walk. Just walk in and vote. Okay. Never happened. That never was. Just an hour, me sitting in there with supervisors. So Joe may have been in the room when, more recently, I signed up at the Equinox Gym in Glendale. And I said to assistant Kyle, I'm just going to walk in there Saturday and give them my name. Yes. And that's it. And they'll have me signed up and filed. Yes. I'm just going to walk in Saturday. Saturday. I'm doing a Saturday. I'm doing a show in Big Bear.
- [05:39]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [05:40]
Adam Carolla
My plan is I'm going to come here, I'm going to pick up some merch. I don't know what happened to our merch agreement, Byron, but I Feel like it keeps falling through the cracks where I do the shows and then you do the merch bag. But is that falling through the cracks? Because we couldn't seem to get on the same page. But I had a show in Big Bear. You got a merch policy, Byron, that's different than mine or do we have the same policy?
- [06:11]
Jason Mayhem Miller
I believe it's the same.
- [06:12]
Jim O'Hare
Yes.
- [06:13]
Adam Carolla
Which is when I do shows, I take merch most of the time. Right. And then you're kind of in charge of the merch.
- [06:20]
Jim O'Hare
Yes.
- [06:21]
Adam Carolla
Okay. But that counts for shows, like local shows too. Not just getting on an airplane shows.
- [06:27]
Jim O'Hare
I.
- [06:28]
Adam Carolla
All right. Anyway. All right. I tell people all the time, make notes or put a sign up or, you know, use post its. So I came here to pick up the merch, some books, the sack. Yeah. Now the thing about the merch, it's not about the money. It's about I got 8,000 books back there and I'm just trying to get rid of them Johnny Appleseed style across the country. Like eight books at a time.
- [06:55]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [06:56]
Adam Carolla
And then you end up, you get a little Wham. A little walking around money. Yeah, you get, you get 140 bucks in cash. And it's good for, it's good for the valet. It's good. There's. There's still little cash jingling the jeans.
- [07:10]
Dawson
Yeah.
- [07:10]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So that's what I. So I came over here. I'll go from Malibu to here. I'm going to pick up the merch and then I'm going to go hit the Equinox. And then I'm going to Big Bear.
- [07:24]
Byron Allen
Well. And I'm doing a show perk my ear. Equinox. We talking circuit training, we talking a little bit of a lift, we're talking some cardio.
- [07:31]
Adam Carolla
I. Well, I'll tell you what I ended up doing. Once I made it in, took a while to get in. I ended up walking up the stairs and I saw a sign that said a hot yoga class for one hour is starting in 10 minutes. And I'm like, I'm doing the hot yoga class and then I'm going to Big Bear to do a show. Now the Equinox you get, it's a perk you get for a certain credit card. I won't get into it, but I'm signed up for a year. And so I came walking in and I, ah, there's the merch bag. I came walking in and I said to my assistant Kyle, like three times, I'm just gonna walk in there on Saturday. I'm gonna give them my name and they're gonna go, okay, Mr. Corolla. Yep, you're all signed up. Go ahead and use it.
- [08:19]
Byron Allen
Yeah, I heard this conversation a couple weeks ago.
- [08:21]
Adam Carolla
Yes, this is again, I just kept saying, I'm just walking in. Yep. Okay. So I come walking in and there's a youngish doofus chick behind the counter and a youngish doofus dude behind the counter.
- [08:35]
Byron Allen
Standard.
- [08:36]
Adam Carolla
And I go, hi, my name's Adam Carolla. And she goes, what's the name? I go, C A R O L L A. She goes, all right, typing that in. She goes, well, we got more than one Corolla. I said, you do? Yeah. What's. What email did you sign up under? And what. What phone number did you sign up under? I go, I. I don't know, because my assistant did it. I don't know. What if he gave you his phone number? But you can't just type my name in? And they'll be in the computer and I'm. I'm signed up. She goes, yeah, Corolla. I go, yeah, C A R O L L A. She goes, yeah, well, we got it. We got more. We got quite a few Corollas in the computer.
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Byron Allen
Really?
- [09:29]
Adam Carolla
I go, really? She goes, yeah, but I go, there's C A R O L L A. There's a bunch of them. She goes, yeah, but we're nationwide club. I go, geez, I've never met anybody with the last name Corolla.
- [09:48]
Byron Allen
Yeah, well, for the listeners too. Equinox is like a hoity toity type gym. It's type, you know, high end, like you sweat, but you're clean.
- [09:58]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So I go, so there's a bunch of Corollas. Yeah, because we're, you know, we're national, we got a lot of locations.
- [10:07]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
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Adam Carolla
I go, never met another Corolla.
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Dawson
Me neither.
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Byron Allen
I never heard of a.
- [10:13]
Adam Carolla
At the Equinox. Uh huh. And then I go, oh, okay, well, Adam Carolla. So Adam Carolla. She's like, yeah, we got quite a few Adam Carollas in here. I said, no, you can't. She goes, yeah, yeah. I go, okay, I've never met anybody named Adam Carolla ever. But you're saying, well, we got five of them. I go, five Adam Corollas. Yeah, but we're nationwide. I go, I just can't imagine that there are five Atom Corollas at the Equinox. Yeah, yeah, well, Nate, we have a lot of locations. Okay, well, what email does it signed up under? I go, just God damn it, hold On. Let me just call my. Call. Kyle. Yeah. Guess what? You'll never imagine what's going on right now. I'm at the Equinox in Glendale, and I can't get in because I gave him my name. But that wasn't enough because there's five Adam Carolla's.
- [11:26]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [11:27]
Adam Carolla
So he goes, oh, let me call the chick I was talking to, or whatever, hang up, I'll get back to you. Or whatever. So I go back into the lady and I just go. I just can't imagine that there are five Adam Corollas at your. This just the Equinox community. There must be millions in the general population. There's 5. What percentage of Americans have an Equinox membership? What do you think?
- [11:59]
Dawson
Mayhem?
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Byron Allen
I would say 0.02%.
- [12:03]
Adam Carolla
Right. So by her math, you have 5 and less than 1%, so there should be thousands.
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Byron Allen
You know what's easier than hot yoga? It would be to get a private eye, track down the four other Corollas, and kill them. Oh, you're right.
- [12:17]
Adam Carolla
Be one. There can only be one. So I walk in now, meanwhile, I don't know why, but I usually get angrier at the bystander. Like, it's not so much. I know in my world, it's the dude who's just standing next to her the whole time. He's just staring at me the whole time.
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Byron Allen
Magnifying.
- [12:33]
Adam Carolla
Just say, look, this is crazy. There should be five Adam Carollas. Let me see. Maybe your name got listed more than once. Or just say something. He's just standing there the whole time. So I go. I get off the phone with Kyle. I go back in, and I just go, look. I find it unimaginable that there are multiple Adam Carollas at the Equinox. And she goes, well, that's what's on the computer. And then at some point, she turns her screen around and it's Adam Carolla. It was all the people who tried. It was American Express at adam carolla@americanexpress.com was all the people who signed me up. That's where the redundancy was. But anyway, this chick is dumb, right? And not trying to help at all. So, like, she. Eventually I just go, just click on the Adam Carolla at the Adam Corolla one. And she goes, oh, okay. Clicks on it. Ten seconds later, she's like, all right, enjoy your workout. I'm like, I don't know. Do we need. Does this. Do we need to do this all the time with everything?
- [13:42]
Byron Allen
Redundancy upon redundancy There needs to be a universal thing, maybe a chip in each of our heads.
- [13:48]
Adam Carolla
I'd be fine with that at this point. Just fucking have Elon put Starlink up my ass and I'll just fucking wave my butt cheek everywhere I go.
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Byron Allen
The trump chip.
- [13:57]
Adam Carolla
So then got good, took my hot yoga class, took it, hustled down to Big Bear, did the show, had this. This is a put. Put this one again under the heading of ace man ass for a third time. August has money on the, on the Jon Jones fight.
- [14:21]
Byron Allen
Yeah, right.
- [14:22]
Adam Carolla
So I go, well, what kind of. What do you, what do you think? And Mike, he goes, I got over under two and a half rounds. I took the over. I said, that's a pretty good bet, Mike. I, they're both real good. They're both going to be feeling each other out. I, that's a good. I like it. Two and a half rounds. Five, five minute rounds. Yeah, two and a half and you got the over. So if it goes over two and a half rounds, you're going to get paid.
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Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [14:52]
Adam Carolla
He goes, yeah. I go, I think that's good. I, I mean, you could take Jon Jones, which is a good bet, a dollar and get back 4 cents or something. I wouldn't take Stipe. So that's a good bet. I like that bet. So then the fight is starting as I go out on stage, right? Then I walk off of stage and Mike is standing in the wings of the theater, staring at his phone, crestfallen. Crestfallen. And I go, what happened with the fight? I want to know what was going on with the fight. But I was on stage for an hour and I got off stage, I go, what happened with the fight? He goes, oh, Jones won. Two minutes and 29 seconds into the third round. Into the third round. I missed it by one second. One second. He says. I go, no. He goes, yes, yes. I saw it online. I go, you took the over? And the over. Third round, 230. So if you got to 230, it's a push. If you get to 231, you get the cash. And it, it ended at 229 of the third. He goes, yeah. I go, that, that just seems impossible, Mike. And he goes, no, man, that's what happened. And I was like. Because even in fighting, they, even when they stop the fight sometimes takes a second, takes a few seconds. Guys on the ground, you know, it's a little arbitrary, you know.
- [16:26]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
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Adam Carolla
I go, mike, that. And then I kept circling back to Mike. I gotta go, you lost by one Second or one and a half seconds, he goes, yes, yes, yes. I'm like, God damn. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. And then about the fourth time I circled back to him later in the night, he goes, it was 4:29 of the third round. I was like, all right, Mike, well, remember the rule. The third time I ask you should check it. But Mike hammered that check.
- [17:00]
Byron Allen
Yep. Yeah.
- [17:01]
Adam Carolla
What'd you think of the fight?
- [17:02]
Byron Allen
Yeah, good fight. I mean, about. There was like no surprises this weekend really. You know, between.
- [17:08]
Adam Carolla
You kind of talked me into Stipe. I was like. I said initially, why are they fighting? This is a bad idea. There's no path for Stipe and you got me going down the wrong path.
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Byron Allen
What? What do you mean?
- [17:20]
Adam Carolla
You told me Stipe, you gave me. You made a case for Stipe, made.
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Byron Allen
A case that he's not going to get totally walked over. And in that first round, I was like, oh, May, he is getting walked over. But the thing about it is he's so experienced and tough. He was able to gut it out. And that just like, I don't know, it jazzed me up for a Tom Aspinall fight because.
- [17:38]
Adam Carolla
Right.
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Byron Allen
You know, it's like one of those big question marks of Jon Jones. You know, he rolled over a 42 year old. Stipe. Yeah. Stipe is greatest, you know, most decorated heavyweight. But he's not the. He's kind of a shell of his former self.
- [17:54]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
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Byron Allen
And it just age, you know, catches up to everybody.
- [17:58]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
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Byron Allen
Business and, you know, he battered them and bruised them and. But he came back alive and kind of put something together out there in the second and third round. Tried something, but just got smashed eventually. And that just brings the big question. What if it was a unification title fight? Heavyweight Tom Aspinall versus Jon Jones. I think that fight would go much, much different for Jon Jones. Yes, Jon Jones has that. That's the real challenge that's out there. And if he doesn't step up to that challenge, then it's a big, you know, asterisk in his legacy.
- [18:34]
Adam Carolla
I went to Jimmy's house for his birthday and had friends and family. Kind of a tight. Wasn't the celebrity crowd over there on Friday for the Jake Paul Tyson fight?
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Byron Allen
That's what you want to call it?
- [18:52]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Listen, I try to tell everyone. Stop your delusions of grandeur. Tyson's 58 magic, he's 58 years old. It's just you lose a little step, you lose a little quickness. You can't figure it Out. We've talked about it. You have the power. So you look good hitting the focus pads, but you can't catch up to the guy and the timing's a little off. And that's all it was. But it was a good cousin Sal and Bill Simmons and hung out. Got to hang out and have some laughs with Jimmy and the crew and all that good stuff. So it was like a good, fun night. It was a good hang, a great house built a new house, beautiful, all that stuff. But the fight was pretty much how it was going to go down, right?
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Byron Allen
Yeah.
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Adam Carolla
People expected way too much and they also, there's too much mythology in fighting, too. It's like, oh, you shouldn't have pissed off Mike Tyson, man. He pissed him off. Now he's pissed. You know, it's like, I was, so what? He's pissed. He's 58 and pissed he's not going to be able to catch up to a 27 year old.
- [20:02]
Byron Allen
To me, what was cool about that fight was not so much the fight as the cultural touchstone. You know, Netflix being the broadcaster for the fight, which was a big deal, and also the fact that it transcended the fight business.
- [20:18]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
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Byron Allen
It was like everyone, you know, I mean, I guess we all have always got behind Mike Tyson, like got all jazzed up for a Tyson fight. That.
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Adam Carolla
Yeah.
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Byron Allen
Even saying the TYSON Fight in 2024 is crazy.
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Adam Carolla
Right.
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Byron Allen
But the fact that so many people from so many walks of life were coming up to me going, oh, hey, hey, what do you think? Jake, Paul, Mike Tyson, like, just, you know, and like little girls.
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Adam Carolla
No, no, I know people, People that don't care. Care.
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Byron Allen
That's what I meant. Yeah.
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Adam Carolla
Also, Tyson's ass was bare.
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Byron Allen
Great, great, great moment of broadcast.
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Adam Carolla
So here's the thing about Tyson. They used to talk about him not wearing socks. Do you remember that?
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Byron Allen
Yeah.
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Adam Carolla
Joe, do you remember, like, he didn't wear socks? Because this whole thing is like kind of gladiator style and gladiators didn't wear socks. And then they talked about him not wearing a robe. He just had a towel.
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Byron Allen
Yeah.
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Adam Carolla
With a head slid in it. Right. That. Then that. But I didn't know he was down to underpants. Like, no one ever said anything about cheeks. They. Yeah, they didn't, they didn't say anything about the commando part. So he doesn't do the socks, he doesn't do the underpants and he doesn't do the robe. He doesn't do a lot.
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Byron Allen
He's caked up. Didn't he?
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Adam Carolla
Yeah. All Right. So there's that. That was a good hang.
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Byron Allen
Take that down.
- [21:45]
Adam Carolla
You got some news, right?
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Byron Allen
I do. I do have some news.
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Adam Carolla
Let's get into it.
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Byron Allen
Yeah. First of all, you're not going to be surprised. The Pentagon fails seventh audit in a row. Seven on it in a row, unable to fully account for $824 billion budget.
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Adam Carolla
$824 billion. Well, so here's the thing. This is my. This is my thing. To everything, all the time, which is. You go, you want to get rid of the Department of Education. Yeah. What are you going to do? You get rid of the. Yeah. First off, we didn't have it for the first 200 years. We're fine. Number one. The year it came in, 79, we were number one. Now we're number 24, and half the kids can't read at grade level. So, yeah, I'm okay with it. How about that?
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Byron Allen
Yeah.
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Adam Carolla
Like, what are you comparing it to? You want Pete Hegseth to take over the military? What are you comparing it to?
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Byron Allen
I know.
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Adam Carolla
Well, there's a couple of wars going out. We got our fucking ass kicked backing out of Afghanistan, and now we got a budget where there's $800 billion we can't account for. Whatever. Like what? So what are you comparing it to? Yeah, I'm saying. Yeah, I'll take something different than this.
- [23:05]
Byron Allen
We've talked about it before, that it seems like anytime that humans are together, a grift comes up, and this is like the ultimate thing. And they have it built into other systems, such as, my dad was in the military. They don't keep you at a certain homestead for a good long time because if you're with all your buddies, you guys might make something up. And then all of a sudden, you have a little army within an army. And that's a bad thing. Same thing in prison. They don't let you stay in the same block forever because then you become really tight friends with people and. And then some. You can make an uprising. Same thing in government. Every once in a while, it seems like we need to hack it all away and then bring up a new, you know, Department of Education. Now let's just get rid of it and make the Education Department. And it's a new thing.
- [23:50]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, my. Listen, my thing is like this. You got a head coach, it's of an NFL team, and he's gone 2 and 15 for the last 20 seasons. And then I go, how about we get this other guy to be the coach? And I go, he's never been A head coach before. And I go, yeah, okay, your guys, 2 and 15. So I'll take a chance on the guy just coached at the college level. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
- [24:15]
Byron Allen
Yeah. Department of Defense had 28 reporting entities that had standalone audit and nine received an unmodified audit opinion. One received a qualified opinion, 15 received disclaimers, and 13 opinions remain pending. So it's just a whole process.
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Adam Carolla
How can you not have this when you have so much money changing hands? But anyway.
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Byron Allen
All right, next story, next story. NYC politicians calling Whoopi Goldberg to apologize for saying bakery denied orders over politics.
- [24:46]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I looked into this.
- [24:49]
Byron Allen
That.
- [24:49]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [24:49]
Byron Allen
She suggested on the air that a local bakery declined to make the View Coast a batch of desserts for a birthday because of her political beliefs. What really happened was they had like.
- [25:01]
Adam Carolla
Well, hold on. Yeah, okay. Does she.
- [25:05]
Byron Allen
I know.
- [25:05]
Adam Carolla
I mean, does she call the bakery and go, hi, this is Whoopi Goldberg from the View. Or you just go, hey, man, do you have the lady fingers?
- [25:13]
Byron Allen
No, I think it was Kyle that called over there.
- [25:15]
Adam Carolla
Kyle called Equinox. They said they were ready to go.
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Byron Allen
Yeah, the boiler exploded. Like their years is an old, you know, building and the boiler exploded. And they don't care about the politics.
- [25:27]
Adam Carolla
Jesus Christ. But baker, that baker's a shit job. Every time I hear about baker, they're like, well, you gotta get in about three in the morning and start with the yeast, you know? And I'm like, three in the morning? Yeah. Baker's a. I thought morning radio sucked. You thought paper route sucked. When you were a kid, you thought these were. These were 6:00am 5, 36. 5, 6. Baker's 2 to 3. That's Dawson. If you were a baker, how. What percentage of workdays would be all nighters for you?
- [26:05]
Tim Matheson
Like 80.
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Byron Allen
80.
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Adam Carolla
Like you would be drunk, you smell of booze and cigarettes and roll in there like 215.
- [26:13]
Tim Matheson
Blame it on the yeast.
- [26:14]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, blame it on the fucking yeast. That's right. Yeah. That's not hops and barley. That's yeast, bro. Oh, my God. What do you do when you work at this bakery? You go to bed at six in the evening every night, like, yeah, fuck, it sucked. And it's not like you do morning radio. At least you get compensated. This. What are you getting? You get baker's dozen, 19 bucks an hour. Getting up at 2am I figure that's.
- [26:46]
Byron Allen
Like the kids job, you know what I mean? You got the young bucks. Like, ah, you wake up at three in the morning with the yeast. I'm rolling in about 6:30 to get this bread in the oven.
- [26:56]
Adam Carolla
Even rolling in at 6:30, I don't know. I'd be a shit baker. I'd be a shit baker.
- [27:02]
Byron Allen
Some people love the bread, bud.
- [27:05]
Adam Carolla
Listen, I would be a shitty baker, but I. And I'd be a shitty butcher too because I see him with the bandsaw going through the ribs and stuff. But I'd be a kick ass candlestick maker. The butcher no good. The baker no good. But the candlestick maker, oh, I would excel.
- [27:29]
Byron Allen
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [27:30]
Adam Carolla
I'd be doing sand castings and pouring. Colored pouring. Yeah, I'd be, I'd be smelting metals, you know, and making candle. Or I could do wood ones on.
- [27:41]
Byron Allen
A lathe, spreading rope for wick. It's just a constant everyday job.
- [27:46]
Adam Carolla
I'm only making the candlesticks. I'm not a candle maker. Oh, you understand? I'm a candle sticks. I don't do the candles. So I don't do butchers. I wouldn't. The butcher. I'd be a bad butcher because I'd also be a bad butcher when they go in like, give me one pound of veal, you know, and then you got to figure out how much £1 of veal is. And then you'd set it up there and it'd be 1.3 ounces and I just go, just fucking eat the veal. Like I wouldn't, I wouldn't be like, oh, let me take a small piece off and get it down to £1, you know.
- [28:23]
Byron Allen
But yeah, but I wouldn't be good.
- [28:24]
Adam Carolla
With the bandsaw guts and the blood and everything.
- [28:27]
Byron Allen
Little like turkey carving knife, you know.
- [28:30]
Adam Carolla
That I wouldn't, I wouldn't like to slice the deli meat on the wheel.
- [28:35]
Byron Allen
And like go back a step where you're in the back with just hanging corpses.
- [28:39]
Adam Carolla
I'd also eat a lot of the deli meat, you know what I mean?
- [28:44]
Byron Allen
Yep. Just a straight palm it on.
- [28:46]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And also I feel like I would. It wouldn't be a judgment free zone for me. Like, like I'd be, I'd be back there and the guy would order like one pound of smoked turkey and I'd go, okay. And I'd be making him the smoked turkey and I'd look in his shopping cart and I'd see what he's got in there, you know, and he. And I'd go, making a turkey sandwich. And he'd go, yeah, yeah, I am. And I'd go, you notice jar Dijonnaise in there? Yeah. You think that's good on a turkey sandwich? Yeah. You want to just take some regular mayonnaise and maybe a little, you know, deli style mustard. No, I like dijonaise. Really? Pretty much just corn syrup, you know. Oh, highfalutin adds mustard and I notice. I know she got sourdough in there. Yeah. You don't want to go with like a roll or something? No.
- [29:50]
Byron Allen
I'm beginning.
- [29:51]
Adam Carolla
I don't know if I can give you this turkey. I don't think I'm not going to give you the turkey until you go get some regular mayonnaise and some deli style mustard. And by the way, get rid of those fucking little mini tomatoes. Go get. Go get a beef steak. All right, I will give you your sliced turkey and I'm also going to add provolone. Well, you may be lactose intolerant, but if you want a proper turkey sandwich, just have some provolone on there. Go put back the Dijonnaise. Put back the little juul tomatoes and get a beefsteak tomato and then come back and also get some olive oil and some vinegar. I want vinegar. We're going to do a dressing, too. Okay, you go get that and then I'll give you your deli meat.
- [30:42]
Byron Allen
I'm also going to need some sliced pepperoni while you're back there.
- [30:45]
Adam Carolla
I'm sorry, I don't do pepperoni and I have a waiver. I've signed with the contract. I signed a contract. I don't do pepperoni. I do sausage and onion. So when you come back and you can prove. As a matter of fact, I don't trust you. Go pay for. Put this stuff back. Go pay for it. Then show me the receipt. Then I will give you the sliced turkey and provolone and then you can bring that up and pay for it.
- [31:08]
Byron Allen
Man, you hate. You made me hate this guy.
- [31:10]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but that's the butcher baker. Too early.
- [31:15]
Byron Allen
Yep.
- [31:15]
Adam Carolla
Candlestick maker, you're on. I would excel at it.
- [31:18]
Byron Allen
I think so.
- [31:19]
Adam Carolla
I would. Yeah.
- [31:21]
Byron Allen
Well, yeah. So they're calling for Whoopi to apologize.
- [31:25]
Adam Carolla
Oh, that's right.
- [31:26]
Tim Matheson
I don't know.
- [31:27]
Adam Carolla
Everything for her is a fucking hate crime. And by the way, they already went through this. I don't remember where it was, but there was some market or maybe a bakery or some place on a college campus. I'm looking at Dawson. It's kind of a fox story. And remember, it's like three or four years ago and some black kid student came in and stole something and they like chased him out of the store and then sent out all this racism shit. And the school boycotted the store. It was there for like 150 years and stuff and all this stuff.
- [32:01]
Tim Matheson
Oberlin College.
- [32:02]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, they just. They sued and they got 6 million bucks because you can't do this stuff. You can't just sued because there's a.
- [32:11]
Tim Matheson
Little store in Okerland College, overland college, over 36 million.
- [32:16]
Adam Carolla
36 million bucks. It's like a family owned little store, bakery, whatever. Been there for like 100 years. And they just called. Cried racism on them even though nothing happened. And then the whole school took over and the faculty and their boycotted the place and everything. And then like two years later, it's like, they didn't do anything. And now you owe them 36 million bucks. And I'm not litigious, but it's the only way this shit shuts down.
- [32:43]
Byron Allen
Yeah, yeah.
- [32:44]
Adam Carolla
The fucking chick who would they try to force to get vaccinated and she wouldn't. They fired her from job. She's got 12 million. These guys get 36 million. I don't like it, but we have to slow everyone's fucking roll when it comes to lying. And, like, Kyle Rittenhouse sued everybody and is getting paid because they called him a white supremacist. Sorry.
- [33:07]
Byron Allen
That's the only way we get things done is to sue.
- [33:10]
Adam Carolla
Well, that's. It would be nice if people didn't level false allegations against entities or people in the first place. But if they're going to continue, then they need to get sued, and that will prevent them from doing it again. Thank you.
- [33:26]
Byron Allen
Yeah, well, we'll be. I don't know. No one sooner yet does at this.
- [33:31]
Adam Carolla
Point, in terms of, like, Whoopi, I'm like, all right, can we make this? You love martial arts, right?
- [33:42]
Byron Allen
Oh, yeah. What?
- [33:45]
Adam Carolla
Steven Seagal is the subject of ironic entertainment for Americans now. Right? Like, yeah, you know, Under Siege. I didn't go see. Ironically, I saw it because I thought, oh, this is a good movie. I like an action flick, you know. So Steven Seagal has now entered the realm of, like, I don't know, Eric Estrada or something. Whereas there's actually. We don't watch his films for enjoyment. We make fun of him.
- [34:16]
Byron Allen
Yeah, yeah.
- [34:16]
Adam Carolla
Right. Okay.
- [34:17]
Dawson
Is.
- [34:18]
Adam Carolla
Has Whoopi joined the ranks of Steven Seagal? Where it's like more people make fun of her than actually are entertained.
- [34:25]
Byron Allen
We need a term by her. Wait, like jumping the shark? Like jumping the whoopie? Like being the whoopee. You're whooping right now.
- [34:32]
Adam Carolla
I don't know, Maybe Jumping the battleship. Jumping the dead. What was this movie? Deadly Ground.
- [34:39]
Byron Allen
Now on Deadly Ground.
- [34:41]
Adam Carolla
Something like that.
- [34:42]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [34:42]
Adam Carolla
Under Siege. When Under Siege got on a train, whenever they shift the mode of transportation. So Speed was on a bus, and then they moved it onto a cruise ship.
- [34:54]
Byron Allen
Yes.
- [34:55]
Adam Carolla
And then Under Siege was on a battleship, and then they moved it to a train. When they move their type of transportation, it's never good.
- [35:03]
Byron Allen
No.
- [35:03]
Adam Carolla
It never works out.
- [35:05]
Byron Allen
No.
- [35:05]
Adam Carolla
All right.
- [35:06]
Byron Allen
And now Whoopi is, you know, moved on to bakeries.
- [35:09]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right, one more.
- [35:11]
Byron Allen
Mike Tyson's bombshell AIDS revelation. No way I should be here, he says. Yeah. Mike Tyson says he should never been alive. Apparently, this whole story boils down to he had sex with the girl and the girl had aids, and then him and his friend both had sex with the same girl, and they both died of aids.
- [35:34]
Adam Carolla
The friend and the girl.
- [35:35]
Byron Allen
Yes. So, yeah, I.
- [35:38]
Adam Carolla
What it used. I think it was hard for guys to get the AIDS from girls, though.
- [35:43]
Byron Allen
Real low percentage this direction. Yeah, it's. Unless you have a cut on your.
- [35:47]
Adam Carolla
So I'll bet you the friend who died of AIDS didn't get the AIDS from that girl. He was probably intravenous drug user or something.
- [35:56]
Byron Allen
Yes.
- [35:57]
Adam Carolla
Or gay sex or whatever. Whatever it is, it says 1 in 1,000 chance of getting HIV from vaginal sex.
- [36:06]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [36:06]
Adam Carolla
With someone.
- [36:07]
Byron Allen
It's really rare. Right.
- [36:09]
Adam Carolla
So I'll bet he got it somewhere else.
- [36:12]
Byron Allen
Yeah, I'll agree with that. It seems like that when you're hanging out.
- [36:16]
Adam Carolla
Tyson, he said he wasn't supposed to be here.
- [36:19]
Byron Allen
Yeah. Yeah. He definitely.
- [36:20]
Adam Carolla
Somewhere around round five. I was thinking that, too. I know. Really? Does he need to. Do I need to be here? I don't need to be here.
- [36:27]
Byron Allen
I know.
- [36:27]
Adam Carolla
One of us doesn't need. Need to be here.
- [36:29]
Byron Allen
Very strange.
- [36:30]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I gotta go make some candlesticks, so let's wrap this up, man.
- [36:35]
Byron Allen
Hey, the. The last story that I have is kind of interesting. Disney removes a cartoon episode about a transgender character. It breaks my heart. They say, you know, the Disney animated show Moon Girl and the Devil Dinosaur focused on a transgender character. They shelved the episode.
- [36:53]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Well, look, okay, let's just break it down.
- [36:58]
Byron Allen
Well, hear me out on this.
- [37:00]
Adam Carolla
I'm hearing you out.
- [37:00]
Byron Allen
The episode was called the Gatekeeper, and it was about the captain of the girls volleyball team who was born a male, and then they're locked into a closet.
- [37:13]
Adam Carolla
We have a clip, by the way, I think. Should we take a look at it? That's what I hear. France is beautiful. Orange slices bring me back to my soccer days.
- [37:29]
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, we've come a long way since fifth grade.
- [37:31]
Adam Carolla
They were the only light and the darkness of me having to play on the boys team.
- [37:38]
Jim O'Hare
Boys team.
- [37:40]
Adam Carolla
Boys team. Boys team.
- [37:43]
Dawson
Boys team.
- [37:45]
Adam Carolla
What's going on here? This for kids?
- [37:48]
Jim O'Hare
Please. Okay, I'm gonna tell you something, and it might shock you.
- [37:55]
Adam Carolla
Your team captain used to play on a boys team.
- [38:03]
Jim O'Hare
Boys team. A boy.
- [38:07]
Adam Carolla
Coach, is something wrong with your eyes? No, I'm just trying to communicate that.
- [38:10]
Jim O'Hare
What you're saying isn't news and also.
- [38:12]
Dawson
That I don't care.
- [38:13]
Adam Carolla
Hold on. Pause. Mayhem.
- [38:18]
Byron Allen
I know, bud.
- [38:19]
Adam Carolla
You should be doing VO work, bro. Let's. Let's let Mayhem do that last coach's line.
- [38:26]
Byron Allen
Wait, I missed the line. What was it?
- [38:28]
Adam Carolla
He goes, no, he's telling. She doesn't care, but. Well, let's just hear it.
- [38:33]
Jim O'Hare
A boy. Coach, is something wrong with your eyes?
- [38:36]
Adam Carolla
No, I'm just trying to communicate that what you're saying isn't news. And also that I don't care. All right? What?
- [38:42]
Byron Allen
I'm trying to communicate that it isn't news and I don't care. Yeah, pretty good. Pretty solid.
- [38:48]
Adam Carolla
I'd watch that. You got a VO agent, don't you, Dawson?
- [38:52]
Tim Matheson
Oh, I do.
- [38:53]
Dawson
Good.
- [38:54]
Adam Carolla
Mayhem. Yeah, he's not gonna take any food off of your plate. You guys are not going on the same auditions. Okay. All right, Play it out.
- [39:02]
Jim O'Hare
Sorry, that's a fair. This is a girls volleyball league.
- [39:06]
Adam Carolla
Only girls can play. Brooklyn is a girl and she's gonna play. You don't want to break the rules around me. Her. Beck, the rules say she can play. Go, Squirrels. Go Squirrels. You got this, coach. Oh, I'm so sorry about your coach.
- [39:27]
Jim O'Hare
Shame you'll need to forfeit. Forfeit?
- [39:30]
Adam Carolla
Not a chance. Well, according to Claus. So that's a trans character constitution. You need a designated coach. Got it covered.
- [39:37]
Jim O'Hare
Officially designated.
- [39:38]
Adam Carolla
Thanks, L. But you don't need to take on player. Coach reporting for duty. It's weird. They have to do. Kind of got them from the league in between voice.
- [39:48]
Jim O'Hare
What's in this water?
- [39:50]
Adam Carolla
We good? Wonderful.
- [39:53]
Jim O'Hare
Lady Leopards warm up time.
- [39:55]
Adam Carolla
Girl power. They gotta go. They gotta draw some titties. But not too many, right? Or too much. Like, how's it work?
- [40:02]
Byron Allen
Gynomasca.
- [40:03]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right, so here's the deal, everyone. Commerce. It's all commerce.
- [40:11]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [40:12]
Adam Carolla
Everything is money. All money, all the time. And Disney, like every other business, thought there was commerce for going down this road. Disney doesn't give A fuck. Just like coke doesn't give a fuck. Just like Taco Bell doesn't give a fuck. With all the Pride month or whatever, you know, whenever Subaru's talking about making their cars with love or the lesbian couple in the Subaru commercial or whatever the mixed marriage or whatever the fuck it is, no one gives a fuck about anything. They're massive conglomerations. They need. They want commerce, they want money. And a few years ago, because I experienced it, they would say, do not get caught on this side of this subject or that subject because it's gonna hurt you. You're gonna hurt your bottom line. Trump just had a huge victory. The Republicans got the House and the Senate. He gets the popular vote and electoral college, and Gutfeld is the number one late night show. So now all the people who used to pretend to care care about something else. Yeah, commerce, they want money. And now Disney's getting fucked up and so they want money. So the stuff they never cared about, they're pretending to care about in the other direction now.
- [41:37]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [41:38]
Adam Carolla
So they don't give a fuck. Also, there is a thing where everybody who ends up in the arts is a progressive douchebag. There's a handful of guys that aren't. But everyone who gets attracted to the arts and creating and all that.
- [41:54]
Byron Allen
The theater kid syndrome. Yeah.
- [41:56]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. It's like almost every movie reviewer is woke and progressive, so, you know, you will be reviewed accordingly. So they're gonna want to start doing what they do because that's who. Who they are. The theater. The theater majors. But now, now the world is sort of waking up to the fact that maybe going down the woke road isn't great in terms of commerce. And so they're all gonna shift now.
- [42:29]
Byron Allen
Yeah, I think the episode is kind of like, I don't know, tone deaf, a little bit to America. And it was made during that fever pitch of everybody's like, fighting back against.
- [42:40]
Adam Carolla
Well, here's my thing. There's two arguments. The one is. The one, the right says we don't want men, biological men, competing with women. And then the.
- [42:50]
Byron Allen
That's the big thing, is that if this episode wasn't about that, it might have been. It might have been able to be released.
- [42:57]
Adam Carolla
But then the left goes, it's monoscale. It's minuscule. It's minutes. It's barely. It barely happened.
- [43:03]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [43:03]
Adam Carolla
All right.
- [43:03]
Byron Allen
Your kid is playing on the opposite team.
- [43:06]
Adam Carolla
Look, it's the same argument where they go, this illegal migrant killed this chick who was jogging. And then they go, you Know more Americans kill Americans. I go, yeah, I know, but tell to the parents of the chick that was jogging.
- [43:19]
Tim Matheson
Exactly.
- [43:20]
Adam Carolla
So that's all. It's the same thing. It's like, we'd like it to be at zero.
- [43:25]
Byron Allen
Yeah, yeah.
- [43:26]
Dawson
But yes.
- [43:26]
Adam Carolla
No, it's not a problem. That is overwhelming society, but sucks when.
- [43:34]
Byron Allen
It happens to you.
- [43:34]
Adam Carolla
One illegal migrant killer is one too many. And one getting a volleyball spiked off their forehead by a chick that used to be a dude 10 minutes ago. That's one. Two men. Yes, the argument.
- [43:48]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [43:48]
Adam Carolla
But also big picture.
- [43:50]
Byron Allen
I know.
- [43:53]
Adam Carolla
I don't. Kids don't need to know about everything. Yeah, I mean, I mean, let. Here's the deal. You have kids, I got kids. We did the fucking elf on the shelf thing three years longer than we needed to. They were on to the elf on the shelf thing when they were, I don't know, eight and a half. And we kept it going. Tell their juniors in high school, you know what I mean? Because that's what you try to do.
- [44:19]
Byron Allen
Training wheels.
- [44:19]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I don't. I don't sit down and talk to my kids about what's going on in Palestine, you know, when they were nine. You know, like, try for some Santa. Just try to believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa for as long as you can. And then at some point, you'll get how horrible the world is and how crazy everything is. And I feel the same. Without anything. Sexuality. Just leave them be for as long as you can, and then they'll find out.
- [44:44]
Byron Allen
Yeah, I think their strategy is to. It was to make trans kids feel more welcome into their. Into this world, but it kind of backfired when, you know, they had to shelf this episode. Get rid of it.
- [44:59]
Adam Carolla
All right, Jim O'Hare's out there. Parks and Rec. Jim's also was in my movie as well. A good dude. Be happy to talk to him. Got a new book coming out. And we'll talk to Jim O'Hare right after this. Hey, I'm Adam Kroll. That's Brad Williams and Jay Leno. Hey, everybody over there. We're doing our third annual comedy fantasy camp. That's gonna be January 23rd through the 26th. Right. In Hollywood, California. Where else would it be? These guys are gonna be there. Remember, two out of every three comics make it big or one and a half. Do I get paid for this? Please tell me I get paid for this. Go to comedy fantasy camp.com and get in on the fun. Tommy John. Well, here's a simple life hack upgrade with Tommy John. You'll do everything much better because you'll be much more comfortable with Tommy John. Their second Skin underwear has dozens of comfort innovations like a supportive contour pouch and horizontal quick draw fly plus breathable lightweight moisture wicking fabric with four times the stretch of competing brands. Over 20 million pairs sold hundreds, nay thousands of five star reviews. Tommy John doesn't have customers, they have fanatics. I know I am a Tommy John fanatic. I'm wearing mine right now. I will not wear anything other than Tommy John. I don't have the heart to throw out some of the old underwear a hat because I paid way too much. I guess I'll just use it for car rag, do my rims or something. They have a guarantee. It's called the best pair you'll ever wear or it's free. They're the best. They're Tommy John. Right?
- [46:49]
Tim Matheson
Dawson get 20% off your first order right now at tommyjohn.com Adam save 20% on second skin at tommyjohn.com Adam tommyjohn.com AdamC site for details this holiday season.
- [47:02]
Adam Carolla
You'Re traveling internationally or connecting with family and friends somewhere. Well, a new language can open doors to a meaningful conversation and cultural appreciation as well. Rosetta Stone the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app. Truly immerse yourself in the language you want to learn. Dr. Drew and his wife used Rosetta Stone. Her French wasn't great, his is, but he said she hit Rosetta Stone before they went to France and she sounded like she was born there. It's amazing. 30 years, millions of users, 25 languages. Spanish, French, Italian, German, Korean, Chinese, Arabic. It's all there. Designed for long term retention. No English translations. Learn to speak, listen and think in the language you're learning. Plus the built in True Accent feature gives you feedback on your pronunciations. You can learn anytime, anywhere. Work it right into your schedule. It's easy. It's Rosetta Stone, right?
- [48:13]
Tim Matheson
Dawson, don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started for a short time. Adam Carolla show listeners and get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership Holiday special. This offer will not last long. Visit rosettastone.com Adam that's UNL access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your Holiday offer@RosettaStone.com Adam today for yourself or as a gift that keeps giving.
- [48:34]
Adam Carolla
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- [49:44]
Tim Matheson
It's time to check Adam's voicemail.
- [49:50]
Adam Carolla
Thanks, man. Brian in Alabama. Hey, just wanted to add another theme to your hard drinking, rambling witchy woman 70s music genre. A lot of nautical maritime songs. We got brandy by the looking glass. We got the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon light foot. We got I'm your captain by the underrated grand funk railroad. Southern cross by Crosby, Stills and Nash. Probably a few more out there, but that's what popped into my head. Get it on.
- [50:27]
Tim Matheson
You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.
- [50:32]
Adam Carolla
Ride, captain, ride upon your mistress ship. But who the hell is that?
- [50:38]
Tim Matheson
Blues image.
- [50:39]
Adam Carolla
Blues image.
- [50:40]
Byron Allen
70 something Taylors.
- [50:43]
Adam Carolla
They used to love the San Francisco bay. They love to say San Francisco bay. Yeah, and New Orleans and Cajun queens. Those are the two destinations people sung about.
- [50:57]
Dawson
I get it.
- [50:58]
Adam Carolla
Nothing ever happened in Valley Village or Encino. Studio City, Van Nuys, Sherman Oaks. He was there. Chatsworth, Rosina. No, San Francisco bay.
- [51:11]
Dawson
Definitely that.
- [51:12]
Adam Carolla
Resita New Orleans with them Cajun queens. Yeah, that's what we sung about, Jim.
- [51:18]
Dawson
Yes, we did. I have to tell you, I've been here in a while and just so people, I don't know if they know about this place. So you come in. Your place is amazing. This studio is incredible on the outside. You guys have a little crafty services now? Well, it wasn't here last time I was here. So for the first time, and I'm gonna say 10 years, I just ate candy corn. Damn, that crap is delicious. And I know it's crap. I 100% know it's garbage, but I couldn't stop.
- [51:46]
Adam Carolla
Can we say this? All right, let's see if we can figure this out. What splits the room from a dietary standpoint? A culinary Standpoint. Candy corn splits the room. People love it. Or they go, it's the grossest shit.
- [52:01]
Dawson
Ever they've ever had.
- [52:02]
Byron Allen
Yep.
- [52:03]
Adam Carolla
Plantains split the room, and beets split the room. Now, I love beets, and I love plantains, and I love candy corn as well, but I feel like they will split the room.
- [52:18]
Dawson
Yeah, I do plantains, and I obviously do candy corn. I'm not into beets. And I think what will also split the room. Those sheets of seaweed. Have you seen those seaweed little papery things that everyone who's super healthy eats?
- [52:32]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but I don't categorize those as splitting the room, because nobody really likes them.
- [52:39]
Dawson
I agree with that.
- [52:40]
Adam Carolla
Those who will tolerate them and those who won't.
- [52:44]
Dawson
And I think I'm.
- [52:44]
Adam Carolla
But I love beets.
- [52:46]
Dawson
That's the thing, see?
- [52:47]
Adam Carolla
Well, we're splitting the room.
- [52:48]
Dawson
We're splitting the room.
- [52:49]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but you love plantains and that.
- [52:51]
Dawson
Damn candy corn and that damn candy corn. I mean, really, over 10 years, I've never had candy corn. And I looked at it. It's in a jar. You got some nice choices out there, by the way. Cookies. Like, there's a whole thing going on.
- [53:01]
Adam Carolla
My assistant made three pie offerings today.
- [53:04]
Dawson
I saw there were pie out there.
- [53:06]
Adam Carolla
Love it.
- [53:06]
Dawson
Who doesn't like a nice piece of pie? Everybody.
- [53:09]
Adam Carolla
I get angry at people that don't like pie. Oh, I love pie.
- [53:12]
Byron Allen
You got a lot. I jammed a piece of pumpkin on the way in.
- [53:15]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, chicken's the best.
- [53:16]
Dawson
And, you know, a couple weeks ago, I was in Austin, and I went to this. I think it's called the Salt Lake. It's kind of a famous barbecue place in Austin. And they had a dessert that was so good that I'm telling you, I would get on a plane right now and go back to Austin.
- [53:29]
Adam Carolla
It was a candy corn plantain pie.
- [53:33]
Dawson
With sheets of seaweed on top.
- [53:35]
Adam Carolla
Seaweed on top.
- [53:36]
Dawson
It was those. You know, it had peaches. And it's not a crumble. It's a cobbler.
- [53:44]
Adam Carolla
Cobbler. Cobbler.
- [53:46]
Dawson
Oh, Adam, Dear God. I'm telling you, I'd leave here right now if someone said there was a plane to get me there.
- [53:50]
Adam Carolla
Cobbler. Great dessert. Horrible job, you know?
- [53:54]
Dawson
Yes.
- [53:55]
Adam Carolla
Working on people's old shoes.
- [53:57]
Dawson
That is a tough job.
- [53:58]
Jim O'Hare
All day.
- [53:59]
Adam Carolla
That's. Your job, is to work on people's shoes. It should be thrown out shoes. But great dessert.
- [54:05]
Dawson
Great dessert.
- [54:06]
Adam Carolla
You know what's good about the cobbler in the dessert department? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you what's. Good about the cobbler. The best dessert there is. Now, look, you can argue all you want, but your arguments are going to be lateral arguments. To my argument for the best dessert, it's apple pie a la mode. That's the best. Now you can say, I like this or I like a churro or safflon, or you say whatever you want, but you can't do better than apple pie a la mode. Now, the thing about the apple pie a la mode is you get a wedge of apple pie and they heat it up and then they give you a ball of ice cream and it.
- [54:44]
Dawson
Rolls off it because of the heated pie.
- [54:48]
Adam Carolla
And it's a ball you can't put. A golf ball would roll off the cobbler. Comes in a bowl and it's a heated bowl and you put the fucking ice. Got nowhere to go but down. Nowhere. It's like this podcast. There's nowhere for the ice cream to go but into the cobbler, which is great because the fucking apple. Last time I ordered apple pie a la mode, you know, everyone doing fancy now, they give me a round like ball of apple pie, and then I'm trying to put the fucking ice cream on top and it just rolls off.
- [55:20]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [55:20]
Adam Carolla
So now you do the side swipe. You try to get a piece of the. Of the ball of ice cream and a piece.
- [55:25]
Dawson
You want the perfect bite. You want the ice cream with the pie.
- [55:30]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [55:30]
Dawson
That's the perfect bite.
- [55:31]
Adam Carolla
And the right amount of melt. Yes. Into the crust. It emulsifies into the crust. But the color. For the record, I'm fully erect.
- [55:39]
Dawson
Anyway. Just saying. Just saying.
- [55:41]
Adam Carolla
Cobbler. I'm in my refractory period. You had me a candy corn chip. The cobbler comes in its own little dish, its own little baking thing. And the ice cream has to sit on top. There's nowhere that ice cream can go but on top.
- [55:57]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [55:58]
Adam Carolla
Can't find its way off.
- [55:59]
Dawson
It's an amazing. And I hadn't had a cobbler in forever either. And it was just randomly. Somebody said, I'm gonna get a cobbler. I said, I'll try that dam. I mean, better than the barbecue. And I love me some barbecue. I had some burnt ends and.
- [56:13]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, the. I love me my food people, by the way.
- [56:16]
Dawson
I love me.
- [56:17]
Adam Carolla
Welcome Pawnee. Stories of friendship waffles and parks and recreation. Behind the scenes glimpse into the making of beloved sitcom. Yeah. What's. What's some stories in the book, Jim, that we might.
- [56:30]
Dawson
This is what I wrote. I don't know what you're Talking about. Yes. It's really all about my view of what happened over the seven seasons. You know, we did seven years, which nowadays doesn't kind of happen much. I mean, it's the rare show that's going to get that kind of life. And, you know, we were doing 22, 24 episodes a season. But this is a term that I hate saying, but I'm going to say it because it applies. This is my love letter to the show. I'm an adult man, and I find that term uncomfortable, but I do believe it kind of sums it up. Because when this book came to me and the offer to do it and everything, and I got the feeling that might have been thinking, oh, we're going to do a little bit of dirt. We're going to get some behind the scenes dirt on these people, you know, on Amy and Pratt and everybody. And there's two things. One, I don't think I would have write that kind of book. And two, I don't have it. It truly was seven years of just like, just a great time, just an amazing time. And so I just wanted to share my stories. And then just so graciously, everybody came on board. You know, Pratt so damn busy, and yet he set hours aside for me and the creators and the other cast members. So it was pretty amazing.
- [57:42]
Adam Carolla
He seems like a genuinely good dude.
- [57:45]
Dawson
Such a good dude. Such a good dude. Here's the kind of dude he is now. Imagine he's got a lot going on in his life. This is a while ago. I get a text. Hey, Jimmy, is everything okay?
- [57:57]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [57:57]
Dawson
What's going on?
- [57:58]
Adam Carolla
Nothing.
- [57:58]
Dawson
I'm just checking. Yeah, what's going on? He goes, no, I just. I had a weird feeling. Cut to the. He had a dream. And apparently I didn't survive that dream.
- [58:07]
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
- [58:08]
Dawson
And he needed to reach out to me to make sure I was okay. That's a good dude. That is a good dude. He's just a good dude. And he gave me time for this book. And he's been. I don't know. You know, Pratt is. When you become at his level, he is a worldwide thing. You know, people love to build you up, to take you down. And so I know things have been said and stuff, but the man I know is incredibly funny. That's an easy one. But also incredibly kind and sweet and a good family dude. I love him.
- [58:40]
Byron Allen
But his subconscious is imagining your death.
- [58:43]
Dawson
I know. Well, yes, it was. It was in there.
- [58:46]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [58:46]
Dawson
Yeah, I died. Yeah.
- [58:49]
Adam Carolla
The thing about. So where we're at now, I mean, As a society, where we were at, I don't know anymore now because guys are doing the Trump victory dance in the end zone and the octagon now. But where we were at several years ago is guys like that, like Chris, who said, I'm religious and I like to hunt. We don't care if you're religious and we don't care if you hunt. What we do care about is who you voted for. And then what does it come down to? Yeah, he said he's religious. Yeah. Says he likes to hunt. Yeah, it's a Trump voter. And we go, he didn't say that.
- [59:28]
Dawson
He didn't say that.
- [59:29]
Adam Carolla
I know, but that was enough. He also said he had misgivings about the vaccination. Oh, not wearing a mask. Okay.
- [59:36]
Dawson
Even though he never literally said any of. Never said any of it. But you're right, we immediately go there and then social media, boom.
- [59:43]
Adam Carolla
Right? So you go, look, I would tell my elderly dad to get the vax, but I don't think I want my 14 year old son getting the vax. And they go voting for Trump. Are we? And I go, not necessarily just telling you. Wouldn't have my young son do it. Would have my old dad do it. Gotcha. All right. Now we're coming after you.
- [60:03]
Dawson
So that's what goes on.
- [60:04]
Adam Carolla
That's what happened to Chris. Because he's never said anything.
- [60:07]
Dawson
Exactly.
- [60:07]
Adam Carolla
He just hunts and he's Christian or he's religious, whatever he is. That's enough. Target on back we get. But not because we hate hunters or Christians, because we think we know how you vote. That's the new world order.
- [60:20]
Dawson
Although he's never announced how he votes. He's never announced any of it. But it's his own private thing now.
- [60:25]
Adam Carolla
He's in the majority. So now he probably doesn't have to worry as much.
- [60:30]
Byron Allen
It's the case when stereotyping is okay. It's accepted in our society.
- [60:34]
Adam Carolla
In that particular case, we will stereotype and be okay with it. I want to get. We were talking about music at the top and vintage songs and one of the bands that I don't mention as much as I should about how much I hate them is the band War. Because they have a lot of shitty songs that we listen to over and are like, why can't we be friends and stuff and nothing.
- [60:58]
Dawson
Why can't we be friends? Why can't we? Oh my God, I haven't heard that in a hundred years.
- [61:03]
Adam Carolla
Why can't we? And the lyrics are them just stoned and freestyling. You say you're working for the CIA.
- [61:14]
Dawson
You are blowing my mind.
- [61:15]
Adam Carolla
You better work for the mafia. CIA and mafia don't rhyme. And you just made up something that doesn't exist. And fuck you.
- [61:24]
Dawson
But it made sense at the time. I was into it.
- [61:27]
Adam Carolla
Well, I realized, you know how the drug companies are all taking. These 70s songs are. Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.
- [61:40]
Tim Matheson
Magic by Pilot.
- [61:42]
Adam Carolla
Magic by Pilot.
- [61:43]
Tim Matheson
Produced by Alan Parsons.
- [61:45]
Adam Carolla
Oh, that's how you know. Well, I don't even know what this drug company. I don't even know what they're selling. They're selling something for, like, macular degeneration or something, and I don't know what they. Well, we'll hear. We'll hear it. I survey Izervay. These names are all made up, by the way. But we've now hit. Turn the volume up, please. We've hit rock bottom.
- [62:06]
Dawson
Developing geographic atrophy, or ga. No, GA can be un.
- [62:09]
Adam Carolla
Unpredictable and progress rapidly, leading to irreversible vision loss. Now there's something you can do to slow it down.
- [62:18]
Dawson
Get it going slower.
- [62:19]
Adam Carolla
Ask your doctor about eye survey. We've officially jumped the shark. We're done as a society. All right. Is there a song. Who's got more mileage out of a pretty shitty song than now? So here's the thing about War's lowrider. Here's what you want to do when you write a song, even if it's a shitty song like Alice Cooper. School's out for summer.
- [62:57]
Dawson
School's out.
- [63:02]
Adam Carolla
And then school's out forever.
- [63:03]
Byron Allen
Forever.
- [63:04]
Adam Carolla
Okay, but first off, then it's out forever. It's not out for the summer. You know what I mean?
- [63:08]
Jim O'Hare
It just.
- [63:09]
Adam Carolla
You had me ever. You know what I mean?
- [63:12]
Dawson
But I remember really being into all that stuff.
- [63:14]
Adam Carolla
I know, but Alice Cooper, I'm looking at you, Dawson. That song 18 is the worst fucking song ever made. Because I'm 18. I like it. I don't know. I got a boner for no reason because I'm 18. 18 pound. Oh, now, now, now, now, now, now. It's.
- [63:34]
Jim O'Hare
It's.
- [63:36]
Adam Carolla
People like Al Scooper. I get it. But fucking songs suck. But anyway, Lowrider is the. The Mexicans only have one song in one rock song, you know what I mean? They don't have Doobie Brothers songs, you know what I mean?
- [63:52]
Byron Allen
Yes.
- [63:52]
Adam Carolla
They have this song, like, there's one song for schools getting out. Schools out for summer, right? And so when you do a movie and there's a montage where the kids are all running down the hall and throwing their note. You have to play. You have to license that song. Yeah, it's not a good song, but it's the only one.
- [64:10]
Dawson
That's all you got.
- [64:10]
Adam Carolla
I want to write one for Arbor Day so I can fucking hammer check.
- [64:14]
Dawson
Such a big holiday.
- [64:15]
Adam Carolla
So they write this shitty lowrider song, which is fine, but whatever. But when George Lopez does a standup special, they have to fucking play Low Rider when he walks out on stage. Now, I, as a fellow comedian would say to George Lopez, it's a little on the nose, you know, it's kind of exact. You don't want to do exactly. Exactly what everyone thinks you're going to do. But that's George Lopez in every Mexican everything. In every movie, if the Mexican guy Bo. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now they've sold it to the fucking Pfizer. And how much money has been generated by that one shitty four minute song?
- [64:57]
Dawson
Yeah, lots of money. And I'd take it if it was offered.
- [65:02]
Byron Allen
Dude, I love stupid songs. You just made me realize I loved every song that you.
- [65:06]
Dawson
Every song you mentioned.
- [65:07]
Byron Allen
Every song you name.
- [65:08]
Adam Carolla
You know, like, I didn't think they.
- [65:09]
Dawson
Were stupid till you just described them. And I'm like, oh, he's right, those are stupid.
- [65:13]
Byron Allen
Stupid. I'm like, yeah, no rider.
- [65:16]
Adam Carolla
Oh, look, now war. That's the difference.
- [65:22]
Dawson
Absolutely nothing.
- [65:23]
Adam Carolla
War's a band, but what is it good for? No, that's not war.
- [65:29]
Byron Allen
Yeah, my bad, guys.
- [65:32]
Adam Carolla
All right, Dawson, did you have another Mexican anthem?
- [65:36]
Tim Matheson
Yeah, Santana's Oye Comova.
- [65:38]
Byron Allen
Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's the one. But it doesn't get the.
- [65:42]
Adam Carolla
It's airplane. It's sort of what Mariah Carey is to a Hanukkah song. You know what I mean? Like, it's there, but it's not.
- [65:50]
Tim Matheson
The rider is definitely way higher.
- [65:53]
Adam Carolla
When George Lopez says, I'm coming out to Low Rider, does anybody his camp who goes, that's kind of fucked out, boss. Like, it's not. Yeah, you're a funny guy. You should be a little more great. We can do better.
- [66:06]
Dawson
We can do better.
- [66:06]
Adam Carolla
How about oil? Come about.
- [66:08]
Dawson
Why not?
- [66:10]
Adam Carolla
All right. Do you have a little bit of 18 from Alice Cooper? Alice Cooper writes such shitty songs. I don't even know if he writes.
- [66:19]
Dawson
I don't even know I share his birthday.
- [66:21]
Adam Carolla
Oh, I love Alex.
- [66:22]
Dawson
February 4th.
- [66:23]
Adam Carolla
He's a genius.
- [66:26]
Tim Matheson
I first heard this song on Freedom Rock.
- [66:30]
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
- [66:31]
Tim Matheson
And I liked it. I was like 14 when I first heard it.
- [66:35]
Adam Carolla
This part's okay. It's more the lyrics. He just keeps going. Cause I'm 18.
- [66:48]
Dawson
Yeah, so far, I'm in.
- [66:50]
Adam Carolla
Well, what you just heard has nothing to do with Alice Cooper. That's just guys who know how to play an instrument, not play a skeleton. He has no plans. I'm a boy and I'm a man I'm anti and I don't know what I want I'm 18.
- [67:13]
Dawson
I just don't know what I.
- [67:16]
Adam Carolla
He doesn't know what he wants. I know what I want. I want you to stop singing. When I was 18, you know what my plan was? Alice Cooper should stop writing songs.
- [67:32]
Byron Allen
All right?
- [67:33]
Dawson
I didn't know.
- [67:34]
Adam Carolla
How would Alice Cooper pitch this song? Like, could you imagine? Like, you're my keyboard. It's like, I got this song 18, and I don't know what I want. Cause I'm 18 and I don't know what I Want. Cause I'm 18. Wouldn't you just go, like, once you go back into the room.
- [67:56]
Dawson
Give that another thought.
- [67:57]
Adam Carolla
Get a fresh steno pad.
- [67:59]
Dawson
Take another look at that.
- [68:00]
Adam Carolla
Don't use the pad you just used to write that song. Let's get a new pad.
- [68:04]
Dawson
You have your writing on there way too often. Move on.
- [68:06]
Adam Carolla
Write it. Write it down. Write it down. So Substack. Subscribe Ron Miller Worst song. Man Eater or Lowrider? You can't do worse than Maneater. Just like you can't do better than Apple Pie a la mode. There's a lot of lateral moves to Maneater, but you can't do more. Lowrider is not a bad song. It's just fucked out. And it is grafted onto every movie scene where Mexican comes around the corner and is Caprice classic. Right?
- [68:45]
Dawson
You're right. It's not a bad song. It's just overdone. And Maneater. Dear God, I haven't heard of thought of that song in forever.
- [68:53]
Adam Carolla
Oh, well, consider yourself blessed living in your candy corn utopia because that fucking song gets pumped into every restaurant. I try to eat at every diner.
- [69:03]
Dawson
Thinking of the same. Man eater.
- [69:05]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he's a man. Oh, he's a man.
- [69:08]
Dawson
Wow. I have not. That has not been on my radar, and I'm very happy about that.
- [69:12]
Adam Carolla
You're so blessed.
- [69:13]
Byron Allen
It's an old standard around here.
- [69:14]
Adam Carolla
You aware of what's going on in the Middle east, or is everything just smooth and steady? She goes, what's going on there?
- [69:20]
Dawson
I think it's all good.
- [69:21]
Adam Carolla
You know what? I'm gonna bring it up. I'm not even gonna bring it up.
- [69:24]
Dawson
Not A care in the world.
- [69:25]
Adam Carolla
Doing all right. Thinking about sw. Maybe everything is good. Thinking I might switch carriers.
- [69:30]
Dawson
I might switch my telephone carrier. Other than that, not a care in the world.
- [69:33]
Adam Carolla
Thinking about maybe swinging by Ukraine this year and maybe seeing the sites.
- [69:38]
Dawson
I love to vacation. I love to travel. So I might do Ukraine.
- [69:42]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [69:43]
Dawson
Because I'm great. I might.
- [69:44]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [69:45]
Dawson
I just like to get around.
- [69:46]
Adam Carolla
What a blessed life you have. I cannot escape from Maneater. I cannot. I cannot sleep it, really? And yet you haven't heard it in 30 years.
- [69:58]
Dawson
I have not heard it. You are bringing up songs I haven't thought of in a long time, and I actually love that.
- [70:03]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, 18 was just on the 70s station when I got my car. That was bad.
- [70:09]
Dawson
But I will say 70s is my go to.
- [70:11]
Adam Carolla
Who gets.
- [70:12]
Dawson
I'm serious.
- [70:13]
Adam Carolla
Who's hammering the check for the pharmaceutical company? Getting Low Rider now.
- [70:21]
Byron Allen
I think that was them playing the actual. They were. It sounded like them. No, man, no Cover band.
- [70:29]
Adam Carolla
First off, half of War's Got to be Dead.
- [70:31]
Tim Matheson
No, it'll be the songwriter.
- [70:33]
Adam Carolla
It's Eric Burden. That Eric.
- [70:35]
Tim Matheson
No, that's. That's post Eric Burden. War.
- [70:37]
Adam Carolla
Oh, it's post Eric Burden. War.
- [70:38]
Dawson
Yeah.
- [70:39]
Adam Carolla
I thought all of War was Eric Bur.
- [70:41]
Tim Matheson
Like, maybe half of the band. Their first couple records with Eric Burden and War and then War continued.
- [70:47]
Adam Carolla
Oh, so Lowriders, post Eric Byrne.
- [70:50]
Tim Matheson
Exactly.
- [70:51]
Adam Carolla
Oh, well, then who wrote Lowrider?
- [70:53]
Tim Matheson
I'll find out.
- [70:54]
Adam Carolla
Damn.
- [70:54]
Dawson
He is knowledgeable.
- [70:55]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Tuppery's wrong a lot, too, but he has a lot of convictions.
- [71:00]
Dawson
The way he says it, it's like, this is conviction.
- [71:02]
Adam Carolla
A lot of conviction. He'd be a good politician. A lot of good politics. Yeah. Yeah. Dawson, let's hear you say you've changed your mind on fracking, but your values haven't changed. Didn't do it with a lot of sincerity.
- [71:16]
Tim Matheson
I've obviously changed my mind on fracking, but my values remain consistent.
- [71:21]
Adam Carolla
That's perfect. Now I'm voting for Dawson. I have no idea what that means, but I'm voting for you, Dawson, because of your sincerity and conviction.
- [71:33]
Tim Matheson
So Lowrider was written by the producer, Jerry Goldstein.
- [71:41]
Adam Carolla
A Jew.
- [71:42]
Dawson
A Jewish guy.
- [71:44]
Adam Carolla
Road load Jews write everything. They write all the Christmas songs. They write. Write all the Mexican songs. They got their. This is why people say they run Hollywood, because they got their fingers and everyone's fine.
- [71:56]
Dawson
Yep.
- [71:57]
Adam Carolla
Goldstein, right.
- [71:58]
Dawson
Biggest Mexican. That's great.
- [72:01]
Adam Carolla
Biggest Mexican anthem of all time.
- [72:03]
Tim Matheson
Split the songwriting credit with about six other people. I imagine they're.
- [72:07]
Byron Allen
Is there one Rodriguez in the pile. Yeah.
- [72:10]
Dawson
Is there Juan anybody?
- [72:14]
Tim Matheson
Thomas Sylvester, Papa D, Allen Morris, B.B. dickerson.
- [72:19]
Byron Allen
Dickerson.
- [72:20]
Tim Matheson
Harold Ray Brown.
- [72:21]
Byron Allen
Oh, brother.
- [72:22]
Tim Matheson
Leroy or Leroy Jordan.
- [72:24]
Adam Carolla
These are black guys.
- [72:26]
Tim Matheson
Charles Miller, Lee, Oscar, Howard B. Scott.
- [72:28]
Byron Allen
That's black dudes.
- [72:30]
Adam Carolla
Wow. Somebody's got informed George Lopez that you may not want to come out to the song anymore. It's all written by black guys and Jews.
- [72:41]
Dawson
All people.
- [72:42]
Adam Carolla
Your people will be fighting in prison right now. Roach. Your anthem.
- [72:46]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [72:47]
Adam Carolla
Come on.
- [72:48]
Byron Allen
Genius.
- [72:50]
Adam Carolla
And so, and Lowrider came out after Eric Burden was out of the band already. Really? But had to be right in there, though, right? It couldn't be five years because Lowrider's pretty old song.
- [73:02]
Tim Matheson
75, I believe her Lowrider was.
- [73:04]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that sounds about right.
- [73:06]
Tim Matheson
50 years, I think. Eric Burden was a war in the late 60s.
- [73:10]
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
- [73:11]
Tim Matheson
We'll find out for sure. But still, the wine.
- [73:13]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he was in the Animals. Then he goes to war.
- [73:17]
Byron Allen
Is it Cheech and Chong? Was that what caught fire to that song? Was that why it became an anthem for the Mexicans? Like there's some kind of propaganda? Like, it came into the movie scene, and I remember there was a Cheech and Chong movie that had that smoke. Right, Right.
- [73:33]
Dawson
Yeah.
- [73:34]
Adam Carolla
Low Rider 75. Yeah.
- [73:36]
Byron Allen
And it had.
- [73:37]
Adam Carolla
When did Burden leave? So then. No, it's just. It's the lack of choice.
- [73:43]
Byron Allen
Yeah, It's.
- [73:44]
Adam Carolla
There's only this for when you're making the movie or the commercial or whatever it is, and you need to convey this feeling. We have one choice and one choice only. It's a Jew, and a bunch of black guys wrote a song about that Mexicans love with horns.
- [74:02]
Tim Matheson
So Eric Burdon and war formed in 69. Spill the wine, came out in 70. And then by 73, there was only one original member.
- [74:13]
Adam Carolla
So Eric gone, and then this. You don't want to duck out a war right before Lowrider drops.
- [74:19]
Byron Allen
No.
- [74:19]
Adam Carolla
You know, but there are other. There are other things. Like the number one movie for black males is Scarface. Like, whenever you go, it's a fact.
- [74:35]
Dawson
Yeah.
- [74:36]
Byron Allen
Every barbershop.
- [74:37]
Adam Carolla
I've been to every state. If you ever go to, like, Cribs on MTV and whatever, the athlete or the NBA baller guy, whatever, is doing the tour, he's got his movie theater downstairs, popcorn machine, Scarface poster. Scarface poster. They issue you if you're black with your birth certificate, you get a Scarface poster if you're male. That's how it worked. You guys didn't know that?
- [75:01]
Dawson
Yeah, I did not know that.
- [75:03]
Adam Carolla
I grew up in the hood at the hospital.
- [75:06]
Dawson
I'm learning.
- [75:06]
Adam Carolla
Hand of God at the hospital. Anna, Scarface poster is presented.
- [75:13]
Dawson
Signed or just like a.
- [75:14]
Byron Allen
No, no, no. Just a poster frame, though. Framed.
- [75:16]
Dawson
Framed.
- [75:16]
Byron Allen
Nice.
- [75:17]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. They don't. Who's gonna. You think Pacino's gonna be able to. You know how many black men are born every day? Are you kidding me, Jim? What the fuck kind of question is that?
- [75:27]
Dawson
What do you have time to do? I guess. Yes. Good luck.
- [75:29]
Adam Carolla
Obviously, don't make a mockery of it, but you get a sign.
- [75:32]
Dawson
I wouldn't want to make a mockery of it.
- [75:32]
Adam Carolla
You don't get a signed poster, but you get a poster with your birth certificate, only. Not a black female.
- [75:38]
Dawson
Yeah, just a black male.
- [75:39]
Adam Carolla
Okay.
- [75:40]
Byron Allen
All right.
- [75:40]
Adam Carolla
That's number one. They don't really have black people in the film.
- [75:44]
Byron Allen
No, not.
- [75:45]
Adam Carolla
I don't even know where there's a black. I can't. I mean, I haven't studied it.
- [75:50]
Byron Allen
The guy Scarface, I think, was black.
- [75:52]
Adam Carolla
Really?
- [75:53]
Byron Allen
Yeah. And do you remember the guy with the glasses, the shotgun? See, I grew up in the hood. I've seen that movie, like, a hundred times.
- [75:59]
Adam Carolla
Am I wrong or what about black people in Scarface? Yeah, it's. So what I'm saying is Mexicans number one song, lowrider. Except for they had nothing to do with the formation or construction of that song. And. But. And Scarface, number one in the black community movie, even though there's not black people in it.
- [76:18]
Dawson
That's all that's interesting.
- [76:20]
Byron Allen
Maybe one. Maybe one black guy.
- [76:23]
Adam Carolla
Maybe you think the guy who killed him is black?
- [76:25]
Byron Allen
I think he was, like, a black Colombian.
- [76:27]
Adam Carolla
Like, you grew up in the hood, right?
- [76:29]
Byron Allen
I did, yeah.
- [76:30]
Adam Carolla
By the way, we'll just call him Colombian for the sake of my argument. You grew up in the hood. They love Scarface.
- [76:36]
Byron Allen
Yeah, yeah. It was, like a constant. When I got to high school level, I was like. And I was hanging out the black kids there. Everybody loved that movie. And I was like, you know, the movie ends and he dies. Right. But everybody had, like, a big sack of weed and was out. Like, they wanted to be Scarface. Yeah.
- [76:53]
Adam Carolla
But then. But they don't. Not big Alice Cooper fans.
- [76:58]
Byron Allen
I didn't really. I only knew Alice Cooper from Wayne's World.
- [77:02]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
- [77:04]
Byron Allen
That was it. That was my reference.
- [77:07]
Adam Carolla
If you looked up scarface, the top 10 cast members, like, acting in order, there would not be one black person in there. Which is weird, because normally they go, we love barbershop. And you go, all right, I get it. Or Friday or Boys in the Hood. Okay, I get it. That's a black cast and that's a community and whatever. Nothing in this film.
- [77:31]
Byron Allen
But I think that speaks to the black community is the fact that this. This immigrant came from nothing and built his way up through ruthlessness. That's kind of like part of the rap.
- [77:43]
Adam Carolla
Oh, I get cultures. Yeah. There's reasons to be attracted. I'm just saying it is rare that a film that has no black representation is the number one black film of all time.
- [77:58]
Dawson
That's kind of crazy. And I never knew this. Are you teasing? This is true. Well, it's a huge film in the black community.
- [78:06]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Black, Colombian. I don't know. I don't like black.
- [78:09]
Byron Allen
I don't know black.
- [78:11]
Adam Carolla
I stand by my. No black people. Get me back to the top 12 of cast members. Oh, well, look, let's put it to you this way, all right? How many of these people that you grew up with, your brothers, grew up in the hood, had posters of the movie the Wiz or could quote any line from the all black cast of the wizard of Ox?
- [78:35]
Byron Allen
I never even knew that was a movie until well into my 20s. I never even heard about the whiz. I was like, what? What's the whiz? Much later, because nobody was into that. No.
- [78:45]
Adam Carolla
All right, so we just went to the top 18. I think we're the top six. No, there's nobody.
- [78:52]
Dawson
There's not a black actor in that mix.
- [78:53]
Adam Carolla
50. No one in the top 50. Wow. Wow. I'm. Next time I talk to a black person or Mexican, I'm going to have to explain. I'm going to need you. I'm just. Sit down.
- [79:06]
Byron Allen
I think it's more about the message of the movie. It's like how you can rise up from nothing.
- [79:11]
Adam Carolla
Listen, we heard you the first time.
- [79:13]
Dawson
We were about rising up, but how did this become the number one?
- [79:17]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Every third movie, some fucking body's rising up.
- [79:22]
Dawson
Was it Vita, one of the big movies? I don't think so. She rose up. I don't think that was the movie. The go to.
- [79:30]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right. So now I'm trying to think, what else? Because, see, that's the whole thing. Like, Japanese Jews, they don't really have their own movies. You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know, you got Yenthal or something, but they don't really.
- [79:48]
Byron Allen
Fiddler on the Roof. I know, but classic Japanese movies.
- [79:51]
Adam Carolla
But you don't see the posters up everywhere. You know what I mean? All right, I'm Just wait.
- [79:58]
Byron Allen
Whose house are you going to that had Scarface? I don't know.
- [80:03]
Adam Carolla
I am invited, via the magic of television into the homes of the successful rapper, the successful NBA player, the successful NFL player, the black athlete. They have the, you know, Lamborghini Gallardo in the garage, which isn't. There's something in Florida, something with a fish tank. And then at some point, we get to their movie theater, and there's one poster. Yentl. Could you imagine?
- [80:33]
Dawson
Was she a boy? Was he a girl? Yeah, Yentl.
- [80:38]
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. We have a. We have the clip from roadheart, by the way, where Jim and I are doing some acting together. I don't even know how you got that part. We must have just.
- [80:53]
Dawson
I remember you pitched and you said, I won't do this unless. Unless I get O'Hare. I believe that was. That's what I heard. Now, I don't know if that's true. You could tell me. That was a lot of fun.
- [81:01]
Adam Carolla
And I.
- [81:02]
Dawson
Many people have come up to me about that film. Oh, really?
- [81:04]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [81:04]
Dawson
People like that film.
- [81:05]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. He played the club owner who was explaining to me that my guarantee wasn't really a guarantee. Oh, sweetie, I gotta go. I love you, too. Okay.
- [81:18]
Dawson
Hey, great. Sad.
- [81:20]
Adam Carolla
Thanks.
- [81:20]
Dawson
Wow. So, listen. Gotta tell you, though.
- [81:22]
Adam Carolla
Huh?
- [81:23]
Dawson
Sadly, we didn't quite make our guarantee.
- [81:25]
Adam Carolla
We didn't make our guarantee. I have a guarantee. I made my guarantee when I got on the Southwest flight and came to Addison, Texas.
- [81:32]
Dawson
Yeah, but think about how we did.
- [81:34]
Adam Carolla
We sold out. Sold out Friday. We sold out Saturday.
- [81:36]
Dawson
Oh, early shows. Okay. Now the late shows. About two thirds. I gave a lot of radio comps to get people in the seats. We both know that tonight you were there.
- [81:48]
Adam Carolla
Fuck, Mark, I had an $8,000 guarantee.
- [81:52]
Dawson
Yeah, which we did not make. Listen, don't worry about it. You'll do better next time.
- [81:57]
Adam Carolla
Next time? Oh, there's not going to be a next time, Mark. I. I guarantee there's not going to be a next time.
- [82:05]
Dawson
Do you know that you're booked for the second week in August? Tender.
- [82:15]
Adam Carolla
You gotta learn the definition of guarantee and tender. That was Jim O'Hare. Buddy.
- [82:22]
Dawson
Explain to me how that was not an Academy Award performance for both of us. For both of us. We should have been up there together accepting that award.
- [82:31]
Adam Carolla
I agree. Eye on your shoulders, eating candy corn and plantains.
- [82:36]
Dawson
But I'm gonna tell you, I don't. I'm not a standup. I'm. I bow down to standups because I think it's one of the scariest things somebody could Do. And you taught me a lot on that. You were telling me how this whole thing works with the clubs and the guarantees. I would just, you know, in my world I have a contract, here's what I'm going to make and I leave. And then somehow that money is given to me. You guys, that is a whole different world. And that was eye opening in a good way.
- [83:02]
Adam Carolla
Well, they give you the guarantee to get you to go. And God willing you get past the guarantee into the profit part. So the way, I mean the way it basically works at a club at whenever you're on a certain level, they go, here's your guarantee. Because with no guarantee, you're not getting on a plane. So they go, here's your guarantee.
- [83:25]
Dawson
And are they covering your flight? Are they covering that? Or that's all on your own?
- [83:30]
Adam Carolla
So how they normally do it, it varies a little bit, but they'll usually, sometimes they'll have a stipend for travel. And that just means whatever you want it to mean. You know, people, I do end up flying Southwest like a lot. And people always go, what are you doing flying Southwest? I go, well look, you're only going there to get paid. So how much of your money do you want to spend on a first class ticket versus a Southwest flight and so on and so forth. There's different, people have different heads on it. There are people like, you know, when Bob Saget died, he was like in a Ritz Carlton or something like that, right? There's always the Ritz Carlton, but you pay for that, that's coming out of your own pocket. And then there's the airport, whatever the Red Roof Inn or whatever my head on it is. I'm only doing this to make money. So I should return with as much money as I can and I don't want it left in the airplane or the hotel. But other guys heads on it are, I'm miserable. And the only way you'll get me to do this is if I stay at the Ritz Carlton and sit on.
- [84:42]
Dawson
A first class seat.
- [84:43]
Adam Carolla
If I stay at the airport in I will not do it. Also my background is I never owned a box spring until I was like 33. I slept on mattresses on the floor and stuff.
- [84:56]
Dawson
So need fancy, no whatever.
- [84:59]
Adam Carolla
Rental cars, the cheapest. The hotels decent enough. Walk to the club, you know, eat it, find a local, whatever, have a sandwich, you know, it's no big.
- [85:09]
Dawson
I don't pretty much that way except for fly. I am a large man and I am miserable and literally miserable in coach and if you recognize, that turns into a whole thing. And so I will say that is. That is where I treat myself.
- [85:23]
Adam Carolla
Yes, you're right.
- [85:25]
Byron Allen
Tell us a little bit about your journey from. You know, I don't know what you did exactly before Parks and Rec or like, what was your journey?
- [85:33]
Dawson
I lived in the hood. Yes, yes, yes. And I just. I signed Scarface posters for newborns I trained.
- [85:41]
Adam Carolla
They're not signed, so please stop making.
- [85:44]
Dawson
No, because I did special. Mine were signed.
- [85:46]
Adam Carolla
Okay.
- [85:46]
Dawson
No. I started out, my first gig, my first professional gig was a DJ. Rensselaer, Indiana. W L U? No, WLQI it was nuts. I made a. I took home $120 a week and I worked 60 hours a week. I did the logs. And this is in the old days with carts and splicing, editing, and just all the hell stuff.
- [86:10]
Adam Carolla
But carts are cartridges. You put them into the player, like an eight track cassette and hit the button.
- [86:18]
Byron Allen
Awesome.
- [86:18]
Adam Carolla
And make the sound effect.
- [86:20]
Dawson
And half the time they wouldn't hit. They hadn't recycled. And then you have to. It's a whole thing.
- [86:26]
Adam Carolla
It was so analog. It was. Yeah, it was. Did you hit carts for, like commercials and jingles and stuff?
- [86:32]
Dawson
All of it. We would stack at the. I had a morning show. You would stack the carts in front of you.
- [86:38]
Adam Carolla
Sound effects?
- [86:38]
Dawson
Yeah, for anything. For the commercials, the spots, whatever you would. They would be stacked.
- [86:44]
Adam Carolla
But did you have a lot of sound effect carts?
- [86:46]
Dawson
A few. Now, this was in the. This was. I'm going to say this was mid-80s. No.
- [86:53]
Adam Carolla
I made a cart separator organizer. I used to be a cabinet maker. So when I got in the radio, the carts were everywhere. And I made a cart wall where you could just put them all alphabetically. And Jimmy used to make carts. He made the throw up one. He'd make all the sound and you'd fire the thing. You know, you'd have like some guy be calling in. He'd go like, oh, man, I just got back from the doctor and a car bunker on my back. It was £4. And you put the thing in. You just keep hitting the button with the cart. You know, get the throw up cart.
- [87:34]
Byron Allen
Yeah. So wait, after being a dj, how did you progress to acting?
- [87:40]
Dawson
That whole thing was crazy. And it was great. It was great learning experience. But it was time to go. And some weird. This is a random phone call that happened one time on air. The secretary came in and said, there's some guy that wants to talk to you off, you know, during a break. Okay. He gets out and he goes, I drive through here all the time because St. Joe College was there. He said, my daughter goes to school here. I think you're funny. I think you're. Anyway, it was all lovely, this lovely phone call. And he said, you should consider Second City in Chicago. And of course, I knew of Second City. Who didn't especially? I was raised in the Chicago area and I took some stranger's advice and I went to Second City and started taking classes. And that changed everything because I can picture the moment, the first laugh. I went on stage because my family used to say to me, what if you're only family funny? Like, what if it turns out you're not funny out in the world? I love you. Yeah. Thanks, family.
- [88:29]
Adam Carolla
Thanks, family.
- [88:30]
Dawson
And so I got that first laugh. I'm thinking, I don't know any of these people. This is my laugh. This is legit.
- [88:35]
Adam Carolla
Not family funny, not family funny.
- [88:37]
Dawson
And so that kind of started. And then I got into a comedy group with a bunch of people. And then we did this show called Stumpy's Gang in Chicago that became this. Just this crazy hit, and people were obsessed with it. We were doing midnight shows. There was blood, and this big vagina puppet was killing everybody, as the vagina will. And it was just. It was crazy. And then we thought, let's bring it to LA and see what that could.
- [89:02]
Byron Allen
Oh, wow.
- [89:03]
Dawson
And we brought it to la, and it went crazy here, too. It was like a cult thing.
- [89:06]
Adam Carolla
What year that was?
- [89:07]
Dawson
We brought it here in 94. So I've been here 30 years.
- [89:09]
Adam Carolla
Do you ever figure out who this person was who called Go to Second City?
- [89:15]
Dawson
Not a clue. It was. And I'm sure he said to me his name, but it was just. I wasn't giving any thought. It was just a guy calling. I have no idea. But it really. And now. Would I have still ended up there? I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. But this stuck in my head, like, that's a path. Because I was looking for a path. I was looking like, what am I going to do? This. This radio thing didn't seem to be working out. First of all, the guy where I worked, he was out of his effing mind and punching holes in walls and checks weren't, you know, they weren't clearing.
- [89:44]
Adam Carolla
Radio isn't really show business. It's somewhere between, like, roofing and show business.
- [89:51]
Byron Allen
That's so funny because I was so into radio in your days and even before. There was some guy on my local station called Al the Van Man. And I totally wanted to be Al the Van man. I thought it was awesome. You could play music all day. And then now you guys are telling me the stark reality of carts.
- [90:07]
Adam Carolla
And somebody used. Somebody reminded me at a show I did recently about how at kroq, which is in Los Angeles, a big market and a big radio station, the accounting is where you'd have to go to get your check from accounting. And accounting was all these Asian women. And the lead woman was named Cynthia. And ironically, she liked to go to the track and gamble. And it'd be Friday at, like, noon, and I would walk down the hall to go into accounting, and I would go, I gotta get my check. Because I was kind of living paycheck to paycheck.
- [90:53]
Dawson
Of course, it's radio, of course, getting.
- [90:54]
Adam Carolla
50 bucks a bit, you know, and they owed me like 300 bucks for two weeks or something. And I go, I gotta get my check. And they'd go, well, Cynthia's at the track. I'd go, that does sound. It's Friday and it's working hours. And she said, santa Anita, you know, and they. And they'd go, yeah. And I go, well, I think my checks here. Tripp Reeb in the off. The gm said my checks in accounting, so can I just get my check? Well, they're in Cynthia's desk. And I'd go, okay, can we open her drawer and get my check? No, she locks her drawer and she takes the key with her to the track. And I go, this seems like a really fucked up way to distribute checks. And then I'd go back into Tripp Reeb's office. I go, I need my check. And he'd go, it's in Cynthia's drawer and she's at the track. And so they were like, yeah, so what are you gonna do? I guess I'm going home without a check. That was their policy. And then later on, because they were all Asian, I would say on the air that I was going to go down the Ho Chi Minh Trail to see if I could get a check this time. And then they all freaked out on me. They came down the fucking corridor and all started screaming at me. And I was like, fuck you. I want my check. Why are you hiding my check? Give me my check.
- [92:28]
Dawson
My guy, he was trading out. Remember this?
- [92:31]
Adam Carolla
Yes.
- [92:31]
Dawson
They would trade out ads. So he's driving around in a fucking Cadillac in Rensselaer, Indiana. The rest I'm making 120 week take home. My rent is 475, so that doesn't math. I Mean, do the math on that. So I'm already way losing, but I'm like, oh, you're paying dues.
- [92:46]
Adam Carolla
You got $5 more.
- [92:48]
Byron Allen
Exactly.
- [92:49]
Dawson
But I was justifying, like, this is what it's going to take. So everything was credit cards and all that kind of stuff. But then you'd go to cash that check and it would not clear because he has traded out so much. He doesn't have money coming in, but he's, you know, he's doing Cadillac ads.
- [93:03]
Adam Carolla
Oh, they disgusting. There was Kayla Sacks, used to be on Wilshire in the Miracle Mile on, like the third floor of a commercial office building. They didn't have carpet in that place for, like six years. You could see where the old carpet was glued down and, like, pulled up or whatever. And every time I go in there to do Tim Conway Jr. Show, I just walk in, I go, where's the carpet? It's a business. You're running a business. There's carpet with glue on the floor. I go, where he go, look, they're trying to trade out this flooring place. At some point you have to buy your own carpet. That's how other businesses work. You don't get to trade everything.
- [93:42]
Dawson
Radio, it's all about trading out. And then one time we would cash the checks at the grocery store when they would clear. And one time after I'd been there a couple months, the girl goes, oh, my God. Drew Mo here from the radio because it would play in the grocery store. And I was like, like, yeah, I am Jim O'Hare. And she goes, oh, I didn't think you'd look like that. You, you. I know I have a face for radio, but that was. That was a. That was a dig.
- [94:08]
Byron Allen
Well, what about after, you know, the stage show, you're in LA and, you know, were there big roles before Parks and Rec? Because we all know you from Parks and Rec now. It. It's such a great show and so iconic now. But what about before? Were there lean times?
- [94:22]
Dawson
Definitely lean times, yes and no. But that being said, I can tell you I moved here August 4, 1994, and for whatever miracle, I've never had to do anything other than be an actor to pay my bills.
- [94:35]
Byron Allen
Oh, wow.
- [94:35]
Dawson
Sometimes. Wow. Just scraping by and some miracle check would come through from something that got reissued again or something. But I did. I kind of worked a lot. Nick Offerman, who played Ron Swanson on Parks, we would always say we were these journeymen actors always landing a gig, but nothing, nothing to skyrocket you, but enough to people Would go, you look familiar. Which, you know, for an actor is not a bad thing. It means you're out there enough. And then, you know, the miracle of parks happened, and now you're on people's televisions every week for seven years. And that just changes. It changes everything.
- [95:08]
Adam Carolla
You want to talk up the beginning of the song 18. Do you remember your call letters?
- [95:14]
Dawson
Oh, God, my call letters. W, R, I N W R I N W L, Q, I. We had.
- [95:22]
Adam Carolla
Probably want to get. You probably want to get the time in.
- [95:25]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [95:26]
Dawson
Good morning. No. Are you ready for this? I can't believe I'm saying this, because this is embarrassing. Now, remember, I'm young at the time, and I began my morning show like this. Now, really listen to what I'm about to say. Listen closely. I'm listening because in a way, I can get away with it, but I can't.
- [95:43]
Adam Carolla
Good morning.
- [95:44]
Dawson
This is Jim O'Hare on the air in Rensselaer. It doesn't fucking rhyme, but it felt close enough.
- [95:54]
Adam Carolla
War rhymed Mafia and cix, so that doesn't rhyme either.
- [95:59]
Dawson
That's true. But that was my morning sign on.
- [96:02]
Adam Carolla
You want to try talking up 18?
- [96:05]
Dawson
Wait, what do you mean? Oh, good morning, Everybody. Welcome to WLQI. W R I N. This is Jim O'Hara coming at you. You know, I'm doing it right here.
- [96:14]
Adam Carolla
Live in rental ear. What time is it? What time?
- [96:19]
Dawson
Oh, and it's eight minutes after the hour.
- [96:22]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, no, it's according to. Oh, you gotta do.
- [96:27]
Dawson
That was a lot of pressure.
- [96:28]
Adam Carolla
You gotta do the all forms of what time it is. You have to go, it's 26. It's 8. 26. That's 26 after the hour. That's 34 away from the top of the hour. You have to. You have to take it and deconstruct the clock.
- [96:44]
Byron Allen
Oh, my God.
- [96:45]
Adam Carolla
To give it every possible version of what time it is.
- [96:49]
Dawson
Just so you know, I'm having PTSD right now. You know, you try to hit it and you knew people were listening.
- [96:55]
Adam Carolla
Yes.
- [96:55]
Dawson
And the ass again, he was an asshole. I'm not gonna say his name, but the guy who ran the station and there was this thing on the wall, and when I look back now, I'm like, why did I think that was important? He goes, at any time, 12,000 people could be listening. What? 12,000 people. But yeah, no, I really. I'm getting a little sweaty.
- [97:13]
Adam Carolla
Don't stress. I'll tell you, I remember when I took over for Stern on the west coast and it was radio and KLSX And I remember very clearly me saying to the program director, the people around, I go, look, do you think we could get a big jar of peanut butter? Because sometimes two hours into my shift, I just want a spoon of peanut butter. Or sometimes guests come in and they were like, what? I'm like, some peanut butter. And then at some point, like two days later, I get a call from my agent who represents Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart, by the way. And he's like, just got a frantic call from Jack Silverman about peanut butter. He wants to know what the fuck's going on. He's not paying for peanut butter. And my agent's like, what is he talking about? He's used to going to the Daily show or the Tonight show or Colbert Kimmel with full crafty. And he's like, this guy's making a fucking big deal over jar of.
- [98:18]
Dawson
Jar of peanut butter.
- [98:19]
Adam Carolla
Peanut butter, Yeah. I was pissed. I was like, baby, this is radio. You don't understand. This is not tv. This is different than that.
- [98:27]
Dawson
It is totally different.
- [98:28]
Adam Carolla
And the one, I was thinking about this the other day too. The one suggestion he had for me, he goes, maybe we should start giving the time out. And I said, well, we're on in different time zones. And he was like, all right, gotcha. And he left. He left the studio. I was like, wow, that was it? That's what you had for.
- [98:49]
Dawson
That was his revelation. We had when people, we would have games and people could win prizes. And I kid you not, the Prize was a six pack of Pepsi. Six cans of Pepsi. And people would drive 30 fucking miles to come and get it. And then if he didn't, hadn't traded out, he had no money, they'd show up and there would be no six pack of Pepsi for them to get.
- [99:12]
Adam Carolla
Oh, man, it was.
- [99:14]
Dawson
It was awful. But then again, I met some great people, you know, I learned how the business worked.
- [99:19]
Adam Carolla
It's such a. Every part of radio is weird and impoverished. Like, remember the vending machine in radio? The vending machine in radio will have like three post its. Like, dear vending machine guy, I attempted to order of Fresca on 1021 and I got no Fresca and only a quarter came out and I put 75 cents. So it's like, really? You're making this Manifesto about your 50 cents on the stupid thing? The refrigerators all had stick them post its on angry. Somebody stole a pudding. It was their pudding. It was like, what year is this? And how poor are all you people and what happened?
- [100:00]
Dawson
We were so poor, I guess. So poor. And then I never. I never really experimented with drugs or anything. And so in the weekend, you had to do one shift on the FM station, but it was all reel to reel, so you really just hit buttons to make sure it did. And then at the top of the hour, hey, you're listening to Da da da da da da. And maybe do a weather report. I hear it's going to be cold in Indiana, blah, blah, blah. And the one time I walk in and this dj, he hands me, he goes, listen, I brought you something, okay? And it's this little tiny piece of tinfoil. I know nothing. Apparently it was some sort of. I don't know if that's acid. Right. What was on a piece of tinfoil?
- [100:41]
Byron Allen
Could be. Yeah, it could be.
- [100:43]
Dawson
And then I realized this is what he does all day long, sitting. Because he never worked on the AM side where he had to talk. He just kind of hit those buttons. And at the top of the hour, he did the time and he did the weather. I think he was stoned the whole time.
- [100:56]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [100:57]
Dawson
And as a scaredy cat. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Sorry. No, no, no. I'm scared.
- [101:02]
Byron Allen
Could I unlock something in your head? Rensselaer would have never been the same.
- [101:06]
Adam Carolla
It's probably not acid in the foil.
- [101:08]
Dawson
I don't know. It was Little Tin.
- [101:10]
Byron Allen
Come on, bud, you're not giving me enough information. I'm the local drug expert. What was in there?
- [101:15]
Dawson
I don't know.
- [101:16]
Byron Allen
White powder.
- [101:17]
Dawson
It was a dot of something.
- [101:18]
Byron Allen
Oh, yeah, that sounds like acid to me.
- [101:20]
Adam Carolla
I think everyone should do radio just to really learn what it's like to, like, work. But again, it's like you're kind of in show business, but not really in show business, but people know who you are. You don't really get paid. And there's. It's a weird, cheap ass world. I remember showing up to KROQ. KROQ's one of the biggest stations in the world. And it's in Los Angeles and it's in a big office building. It's not Podunk, you know, it's not.
- [101:52]
Dawson
Rensselaer, Indiana.
- [101:53]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Oh, we're over the. We're over the coin op laundry, you know, on the top floor.
- [101:57]
Dawson
Yeah.
- [101:58]
Adam Carolla
And I just walked in there and I remember there's Kevin and Bean. Kevin and Bean are the jewel in the crown. The morning show is the jewel and the crown of the station. And I go, I said, bean, where's your car? Because he had a situation with his car, and I said, I think I can fix it. Is it next to Kevin's down in the parking structure? And he goes, no, it's out on the street. And I go, you park out on the street? And he goes, yeah. I go, geez, you guys get here when it's dark and it's a little dicey back there. People kind of know you're showing up at work at 5 in the morning and it could be some stalker or something. Yeah, I park on the street. I go, why don't you park in the underground parking where it's safe? Because I don't want to pay. I go, but they don't give you a parking spot. And the parking. You're the morning show now. It's like 40 bucks a month. Wow. The radio station wouldn't give you. The stars of the radio station, they bill millions of dollars. They wouldn't give you that. No. I'm like, okay.
- [103:06]
Dawson
But you know, people, when they think of radio, you know, they think of a stern type person who's making tons of money. Well, that is less than half a percent of the people on radio who make that kind of money. It's just not the way it is. But again, I did love it in many ways, and I was ready to get the hell out of there.
- [103:23]
Adam Carolla
Well, Jim, it's always great to catch up with you.
- [103:25]
Dawson
I love coming here. You know, first of all, your brain works different than most people and it terrifies, but you can take one word and just do these amazing. I don't even know what to say, what they are. But, like, so riveting. So, yeah, I love it here.
- [103:39]
Adam Carolla
He pulls a Corolla. Jim O'Hare. Welcome to Pawnee. Stories of Friendship, Waffles and Parks and Recreations available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and wherever you find finer books.
- [103:53]
Dawson
Definitely finer books.
- [103:54]
Byron Allen
Yes.
- [103:55]
Adam Carolla
Actor, great legend Tim Matheson is going to join us and we'll talk to him right after this public wreck. I love these guys. I'm wearing their shirt right now. Look. Wearing nice pants sucks. They're stiff, they're uncomfortable. The fabric is always squeezing. The family jewels stay comfy and classy this season. Public Rex Daymaker pants. Beautiful. They gave me these pants. I wear them. They are comfortable and they look really good as well. They feel like sweatpants, but they look like tailored pants. Stretchy with elastic waistband. So you can wear them anywhere. I mean, listen, you're going to Thanksgiving. You may be getting your grub on. You don't want to be pinched by tight pair of slacks. And like I said, the shirt that I'm wearing right now, the go to long sleeve shirt. This one's in heather charcoal. Is the color beautiful, comfortable moisture wicking. You want to be comfortable. Usually most comfy pants only come in small, medium, large and xl. But the daymaker pants, will you select your exact width and length? You know, I mean, for me it's 34, 34, 35, 34, 36, 34. I'm in that range somewhere, you know. 10 unique colors including navy, dark, olive and stone gray. Give the gift of comfort this holiday season with Public Rec's Daymaker pants. And for a limited time, you get 20% off your entire order with the code ACS at Public Rec. That's R E C publicrec.com Am I right, Dawson?
- [105:41]
Tim Matheson
Stop suffering in regular pants and give the gift of comfort this holiday season for a limited time only. Our listeners get 20% off when you use code ACS at checkout. That's right, 20% off with the code acs@public rec.com after you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Say goodbye to pants that put up a fight because when comfort meets style.
- [106:02]
Adam Carolla
You found public wreck O'Reilly Auto Parts. They're in the business of keeping your car on the road. O'Reilly offers friendly, helpful service and the parts and knowledge you'll need for all your maintenance and repairs. I've always gone to O'Reilly. I used to live up in the hills in La Crescent. I'd go the one up on Foothill. Still there. They've got thousands of parts and accessories in stock, either in store or online, so you never have to worry if you're in a jam. The team at O'Reilly Auto Parts can test your battery for free in or out of your car, which is nice. You don't have to pull it if it needs to be replaced. They'll help you find the right battery for your vehicle. Need your windshield wipers replaced? Brake light fix, quick service. They'll help you find the right part or point you to the nearest local repair shop for help as well. Whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the team at O'Reilly knowledgeable, helpful and best of all, friendly. So the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts are your one stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself and you can find what you need in the store or online. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit O'Reilly Auto.com Adam that's O'Reilly Auto.com.
- [107:24]
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- [107:54]
Adam Carolla
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- [108:59]
Tim Matheson
It's time for Nicaraguan. Name that movie with Adam's buddy Oswaldo. See if you can guess which movie this famous line is from.
- [109:10]
Adam Carolla
You are worthless and weak. Non drunk and giving me 20.
- [109:17]
Tim Matheson
If you said Animal House, you're all worthless and weak.
- [109:23]
Adam Carolla
Drop and give me 20. You're correct.
- [109:26]
Tim Matheson
Now back to the show.
- [109:28]
Adam Carolla
Tim Matson has joined us. He's got a book out. Damn glad to meet you. My seven decades in Hollywood.
- [109:36]
Jim O'Hare
I round it up, you know, grass, you know, amazing.
- [109:40]
Adam Carolla
Tim's been in everything. I mean, I think probably for sure, Animal House is where you may know him the best, but he's done everything. And I don't know, is it. I mean, to be a part of something that's as iconic as Animal House. I guess that's a dream, is that, you know, to just. To be in something that is ubiquitous, that everyone has seen, everyone loves, everyone knows.
- [110:07]
Jim O'Hare
It was a pivot point in comedy in American cinema, you know, and it was like Ivan Reitman and John Landis and Doug Kenney and Harold Ramis and John Hughes and it was like those guys. All of a sudden, it was people, young people making comedies for young people. And it was like, otherwise, it Was like Rock Hudson and Doris Day. And it was like, stuff like that. And this was one of the first that came along and did stuff like, you know, this. And it was unique and it was Lampoon and it was R rated. And so it was a kind of a change point.
- [110:40]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And they just had all these great lines. Like, freshman dies in kiln explosion. Like, was such a great.
- [110:48]
Jim O'Hare
Oh, man.
- [110:50]
Adam Carolla
Like, I don't know why, like the random stuff like that the most versus the big sort of everyone gets it joke.
- [110:57]
Jim O'Hare
I think that that actually happened. The guy named Bob Anderson was the guy that my character, Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman and Vladimitri was based on. Because Bob Anderson actually did go to a place and say he was engaged to be engaged to the dead girl and use that as sort of a. Can you maybe comfort me and get some dates from my friends? You know, I mean, and it was the sleazy. It was the cheesiest thing I'd ever. The character would do, but I just loved playing that. I mean, it's just delicious to be such an asshole.
- [111:30]
Adam Carolla
Did you. Did you know you. I always ask, did you know you were onto something while you were filming it, or is it just impossible to gauge?
- [111:39]
Jim O'Hare
You know, it was the best script I'd seen. John Belushi's in it, and he was like the second coming walking across the college campus at Eugene, Oregon, where we shot this. You know, the ducks.
- [111:48]
Adam Carolla
That's right.
- [111:49]
Jim O'Hare
And. And so there was that. And then every Monday morning after, the crew would watch the dailies from the week before, because they didn't have. They weren't dailies, weeklies. And they'd come back quoting certain lines, you know, like, hey, you fucked up. You trusted us, you know, or whatever.
- [112:05]
Adam Carolla
Right?
- [112:05]
Jim O'Hare
You know, fat drunken stupid is no way to go through life. And, you know, just one thing after the other so that we got it. Well, this May. This could just work. Who knows?
- [112:14]
Adam Carolla
I was hearing about you on the way in. I was talking to my assistant about it, and he said you were the original voice of Jonny Quest. Yes.
- [112:22]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah.
- [112:22]
Adam Carolla
And I thought I loved Jonny Quest when I was a kid, and that's crazy. And Jonny Quest may have had the best theme song of any animated or even non animated. Like, they used to have real theme songs. Like, people remember Hawaii Five Zero and Beretta and stuff like that. But the Jonny Quest theme song, I mean, we should just listen to a little. Listen to the arrangement, listen to what's involved with this. Now it's some idiot with a Casio.
- [113:04]
Byron Allen
Oh, Man, No.
- [113:22]
Jim O'Hare
Lots of gunfire, right?
- [113:24]
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. Starring Johnny.
- [113:59]
Jim O'Hare
My name is nowhere to be mentioned.
- [114:01]
Adam Carolla
Where is your name?
- [114:02]
Jim O'Hare
It's way at the end of the credits.
- [114:03]
Adam Carolla
Dr. Quest. Race Bannon.
- [114:05]
Jim O'Hare
Like they're real.
- [114:07]
Adam Carolla
Now we only have race hustlers, but back then we had Race banning.
- [114:11]
Byron Allen
Oh, man.
- [114:11]
Adam Carolla
Ha. That's a no fly zone today. Bandits. The dog. Oh, my God. Oh. I sat my little box in North Hollywood and watched this out of this. And I just went, one day I'm gonna be fighting with lasers.
- [114:31]
Byron Allen
Yeah.
- [114:33]
Adam Carolla
How did you get that job? How old were you?
- [114:35]
Jim O'Hare
I worked.
- [114:36]
Adam Carolla
Wait a minute. You were the first season or the original?
- [114:39]
Jim O'Hare
There's only one season.
- [114:40]
Adam Carolla
Oh, there's only one season.
- [114:41]
Jim O'Hare
It was a primetime show and the big hits were Flintstones and Jetsons and they had no laugh track. And it was the first non comedic animated show. And it cost a heck of a lot more than the other shows. Cause it was almost like, you know, it's. It's sort of like very realistic.
- [115:00]
Adam Carolla
So Jonny Quest was a prime time animated series, which they would do. Do you remember they had wait till your father gets home.
- [115:10]
Jim O'Hare
Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
- [115:11]
Adam Carolla
Wait till your father gets home was like Archie Bunker animated.
- [115:16]
Byron Allen
Oh.
- [115:17]
Adam Carolla
In the seventies.
- [115:18]
Byron Allen
Damn.
- [115:19]
Adam Carolla
And. And they would try this stuff. And. And so it was a serious prime time animated. Oh, that's where they. That's why. So it's like the. The soundtrack has a. Yeah. 400 piece orchestra. It's not the morning stuff, the cheap stuff where they're out of money or whatever. Oh. So when my assistant said the original voice of Johnny Quest, you just meant the voice of Johnny Quest. Right. I mean, because later on, maybe they came out with something.
- [115:49]
Jim O'Hare
They did a remake of it at one point, I think in the 80s and.
- [115:53]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [115:53]
Jim O'Hare
But I was, you know.
- [115:54]
Adam Carolla
How old were you?
- [115:55]
Jim O'Hare
I was 15 when I auditioned. 16 when I got it, I think. And I had come. I started out as a kid actor, you know, teenage. I was on Leave it to Beaver and my Three Sons and stuff like that. I was, you know, a couple of lines here, a couple lines there. I'd do a guest shot and can.
- [116:09]
Adam Carolla
We hear some Johnny talking, by the way? Young Tim?
- [116:13]
Jim O'Hare
I don't. Well, I mean, I was like. It sounded like a girl.
- [116:17]
Adam Carolla
Would you screw around with your voice because you're playing like a 10 year old when you're 16?
- [116:22]
Jim O'Hare
Well, it was sort of my voice, though. I mean, it's. Because, I mean, it was just, hey, Haji. You know, it was just, hey, Race, look. Oh, you know, get over here. I mean, it Was just. It was excited and Little higher register. Yes, there you go. Exactly. But. And I think, you know, the kids were probably in bed, you know, about that time where they had to do their homework. And so. And it was just too much for the network to pay because it was like graphic novel. It was animated differently than the. It was great. But the Flintstones had the same background going around and around when somebody was running, you know, the same tree kept going by you. And it was cheap.
- [116:59]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [117:00]
Jim O'Hare
So they just, you know, after a year, they couldn't.
- [117:03]
Adam Carolla
What year was that?
- [117:04]
Jim O'Hare
Sorry? 64, I think. Yeah, 64, I believe.
- [117:08]
Adam Carolla
You know, it's so funny. I used to say to Dr. Drew, which always made him laugh when I couldn't, you know, when I was trying to explain to him sometimes, like, I'd go, this person's ethnicity, I didn't know what it was, you know, not. Not black or Mexican or white, like something Asian esque. But I don't know where. I'd always go. He'd go, well, what was this guy? I'd go, Johnny Quest villain nationality. Which is like they didn't really have. They didn't know who we were fighting back then. Like, it was easy in back. They. You could make a guy German or Japanese. Like During World War II, you know, the villain would be. Have a German accent or whatever. This is like the mid-60s. We're not really into Vietnam yet, but we're kind of done with Germans and Japanese. And so they would always go like, Mr. Quest. And I was like, where's that guy from? Where? Mongolia. It was like Thailand and Mongolian or something. But if you cannot determine someone's ethnicity, just go to my default Johnny Quest villain nationality. And that's great. That'll cover. Yes, it'll cover everything that's not black, white, Mexican or Japanese. Even Japanese might slide in there a little.
- [118:25]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah, I think Dr. Zen or, you know, or say, you know, there was always. There was. But it was indeterminate ethnicity.
- [118:31]
Adam Carolla
Certainly little something Asian, but not quite. And it may have been. We would do it on. Who are we fighting right now? We're starting to slide into Vietnam probably. So we're like. That might be a little dusting of Vietnamese in the heavy.
- [118:47]
Jim O'Hare
Could have been. Yeah, yeah.
- [118:50]
Adam Carolla
What.
- [118:50]
Byron Allen
What projects did you have the most fun with?
- [118:53]
Jim O'Hare
Well, Johnny Quest was great because I got to work with Mel Blanc and I got to work with Don Messick and. And they did all. You know, he was Barney Rubble and. And in. In the Flintstones and Janet Waldo and I mean, all these Great voice actors who came out of radio and were good actors and could also create characters that of a dog with a personality and.
- [119:15]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [119:16]
Jim O'Hare
Or nine dogs with, like, Mel Blanc did all of the Warner Brothers car. You know, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck and Tweety Bird and Sylvester. I mean, it was like. You couldn't stop him. And it was like, I had enough trouble just doing Johnny. It was so. It was hard for me to imagine these guys were such good actors. I mean, it was nuts. But, you know, I got to work with Lucille Ball when I was 17 and in a movie called Year's Mine in Hours.
- [119:39]
Adam Carolla
Oh, that's right.
- [119:40]
Jim O'Hare
With Hank Fonda. And Henry Fonda was the father of, I think, seven or eight kids. And Lucy had seven or eight kids and from. Her husband was gone and his wife was gone. And then they got married and had another baby. And that was that. It was the Brady Bunch. Ripped them all.
- [119:57]
Adam Carolla
So what was it like working with Lucille Ball?
- [119:59]
Jim O'Hare
She was great. She was very demanding. She was very tough and. But she came up during vaudeville, you know, I mean. Well, you do three to five shows a day.
- [120:10]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [120:11]
Jim O'Hare
And it's like. It's sort of the equivalent of, I guess what standup is like now when you're on the road and you're just going from theater to theater and it's all. It's combat. I mean, you want to. I want to knock your show off. I want to say something. You know, it's like full contact sport. It's like athletes constantly are at each other saying, you're really not hitting that curveball today, are you? Because if I can get in your head, then maybe there's more room for me in the major leagues. And I think that was true back in vaudeville days and stuff like that. But she was tough. And when you came on the set, you had to be prepared because she's doing broad physical comedy. And you really have to know what you're doing.
- [120:49]
Adam Carolla
I agree. It bothers me when. Because I come from a kind of sports background and sports background. Someone just tells you, here's what you're doing, and now go do it. And if you don't do it, you get yelled at, you know, And I've had it happen a million times. You have two, like, on the set where, like, the guy walks in and you go, the directorial is cut. You don't turn your back to the camera. Leave yourself open so we can see. Right. And they go, all right, let's try it again. And the person just walks out. Does the exact Same thing. It turns their back again. And I do want to say, hey, fuck, Watt. We just. You were just told not to do that. Like, don't. And everyone's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I'm always like, he totally do something. We're all waiting on you. Do it. Or you don't know your lines or you're not prepared with whatever. I'm with Lucy, I'm like, just fucking do your job.
- [121:42]
Jim O'Hare
And she would never really say it to you. She'd go, you know, tell. She tells her director. Tell him to speak up. I can't hear him.
- [121:49]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [121:50]
Jim O'Hare
You know, she was tough. She was really tough and demanded it. But I think she. I'd auditioned like, six, seven times for. Then I had a couple of scenes that I did with her that were. I think one of the ones you just looked at with she. And I was actually an emotional scene. It was. It was a. You know, it wasn't a comic scene. And she and I connected over those, but I think she just felt I was too sensitive because I was a shy kid. And it was like, holy shit, I'm working with Lucille Ball. I mean, it was like Santa Claus right there in front of. You know, so. And what happened? One time I did here's Lucy, which was an episode of a show that she did after years, mine and Hours. And I was dating her daughter, played by Lucy Arnaz, her real daughter. And we were backstage. She, Gail Gordon, who was a great comic actor, and myself were backstage with another actress who was a friend of Lucy's from vaudeville who, like, wasn't working that much. And Lucy gave her a job, and she had one line, and, you know, so she could make some money and keep her health insurance up, probably. She took care of her vaudeville friends. And we're all standing backstage, the show's going on out there, and Lucy, just before her friend goes out on stage, she goes, 20 bucks she blows her line. And it was like, whoa, whoa. I was like. I was taking aback. The woman looks at Lucy, kind of winks, walks out on stage. You hear, there's chatter, chatter, chatter. There's dialogue, dialogue. This woman has her line. She gets a big laugh, and, you know, more chatter, chatter, chatter. And the woman exits. The door opens. She walks backstage, walks over to Lucy and puts her hand out.
- [123:22]
Byron Allen
Wow.
- [123:23]
Jim O'Hare
But because. It's. Because I think what she was saying is that's. It's like, say, break a leg. You know, you don't say, hey, good luck. You know, you say, don't fuck it up. You Know, and it was. That was the tone. It's like pro athletes say they never say anything nice to each other.
- [123:37]
Adam Carolla
No.
- [123:38]
Jim O'Hare
You know, Yeah, I had a general. No, the president of the Marlins, Miami Marlins team, David Sampson's a buddy of mine, and he took me into the locker room to meet a kid at Dodger Stadium when they were playing the Dodgers a few years ago. And he said, yeah, this kid, we brought him up from the minor leagues. I said, hey, congratulations, you're in the bigs. Congratulations goes, hey, let me just straighten you out on something. David said. He said, if you're a lefty and you have a pulse, you're in the big leagues.
- [124:07]
Adam Carolla
Wow.
- [124:08]
Jim O'Hare
And they like. And I thought, oh, Jesus, that's tough. But he said, I don't want that kid thinking about. I know, 35,000 people. I want him thinking about that curveball he's throwing, you know, and I don't want to take his eye off the ball. And it's. That's sports. And I think Lucy was just saying that's. That's the show.
- [124:26]
Byron Allen
I coach pro fighters, and a big part of it is keeping their ego down. Because if you juice the guy up so much and tell him he's the best, he's the best, then he'll slack off a bit, and he won't. He'll think that he's got it all figured out. And I don't know, is this the mentality you take into the acting world or.
- [124:43]
Jim O'Hare
Oh, I think you got to. I mean, because you're constantly getting turned down for every. You know, every. You get one out of 10 jobs, you go, you know, you have. You have great days. You have lousy days, you know, because when I worked with Kurt Russell, we did a series in 1976 called the Quest, which was up against Charlie's Angels. So you can imagine how long our show was on the air.
- [125:03]
Adam Carolla
What was that about?
- [125:05]
Jim O'Hare
It was a Western. It was sort of like the Searchers. We were. He had been. My family had been assaulted by a tribe of Indians, and my parents were killed. He had been captured. Our sister had been captured and raised by the Indians, and I had gone back to medicine, medical school, and I got away. So I'm a doctor, and so I was searching for him. And we were reunited and we went out looking after our sister. But Kurt was a semi pro ballplayer, and that was the same attitude he had about acting is he said, you know, just save it for the camera. Don't worry. I was studying acting and I was in my head about acting pure, all this. And he was like, yeah, you know, just take it easy, you know, you don't work so hard and. Because then on camera the stuff that they do get. Well, because. Good. Even better.
- [125:56]
Adam Carolla
Sorry, do we have any Johnny Quests with Tim as requested or were we not able to find that? Oh, we do. All right. I'll put it on the screen if you got it. Sorry. That's our.
- [126:09]
Tim Matheson
How did you learn English? Ha.
- [126:11]
Adam Carolla
Same way I learned judo from American Marine. He tells me about your country one day. I see. Is that why you followed us? Sure. Johnny, look out there. The man who threw the knife.
- [126:25]
Jim O'Hare
Come on, let's take a closer look.
- [126:26]
Adam Carolla
Okay, I follow. You can't just eat dinner, huh? Always solving crime.
- [126:34]
Jim O'Hare
I wish I could see what he's doing.
- [126:36]
Adam Carolla
You can. How good are you at climbing a rope?
- [126:39]
Jim O'Hare
Okay, I guess.
- [126:41]
Adam Carolla
Why? What is the opposite? Bit of helicopter. Johnny, start climbing. That stuff was so ubiquitous that I thought you could like half this stuff would work. Idiot.
- [127:01]
Jim O'Hare
This is Johnny Quest, villain, indiscriminate nationality.
- [127:06]
Adam Carolla
Before he saved his life. Master, I shall return to Barat. In the meantime.
- [127:12]
Jim O'Hare
Where's Barat?
- [127:14]
Adam Carolla
They came from a made up place and nobody knew what their nationality was, but. But they looked evil. It is only a boy. What do you want? Two rupees. My lord and I will reveal the mysterious wonders of the East. Get away from here, you little beggar. Go, before I have my servants. All right, we got it.
- [127:38]
Jim O'Hare
Wow.
- [127:39]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [127:39]
Jim O'Hare
Sounds just like me. I mean. I mean really? I am sure.
- [127:41]
Adam Carolla
So, man, I mean, you were doing this? You were. Well, you were a child actor before that was your family. Did you have a. Like a stage mom and that kind of stuff? How'd you get into it so young?
- [127:55]
Jim O'Hare
I was. I always wanted to be an actor. I don't know why. I mean, it was. I'd go sit in the movies on the weekends. My parents went through a divorce, so I would just go hide out in the movies when I was 7, 8, 9 and in the sixth grade, I was in a class that had a like improv version of the Today show, you know, and you'd be the host and you'd be the guest and I would be the farm boy from, you know, the farm.
- [128:17]
Adam Carolla
Where was this?
- [128:18]
Jim O'Hare
This was in San Bernardino.
- [128:20]
Adam Carolla
Oh, out here.
- [128:21]
Jim O'Hare
My mother. I grew up in the Valley, like yourself, I think.
- [128:23]
Adam Carolla
Where at?
- [128:24]
Jim O'Hare
I was in Sherman Oaks and then junior and high senior high school in Burbank.
- [128:29]
Adam Carolla
Burroughs.
- [128:30]
Jim O'Hare
Burroughs, yeah.
- [128:30]
Adam Carolla
Oh, wow.
- [128:31]
Jim O'Hare
We played you guys. Yeah, we kicked our ass.
- [128:34]
Adam Carolla
Well, North Hollywood was Good. Then I got there and then they weren't good.
- [128:38]
Jim O'Hare
I don't know. I don't know.
- [128:40]
Adam Carolla
But yeah, I went to North Hollywood at Burroughs and Grant High School was Van Nuys, Sherman Oaks or whatever's where you would have went there. So you just grew up right here, right in the valley?
- [128:52]
Jim O'Hare
I did. And then my mom had a tough year because My mother was 37 when she had me. So I'm like what, 12. So she's close to 50 and she was an executive secretary and she got laid off again and again because she was close to 50 and they wanted a 28 year old. So it was sexist and all that. So she an ageist. And so she had a tough year and she took up a bi year. She went off and she and her boyfriend just stayed drunk I think for a year. And me and my sister went up to say Bernardino and live with my aunt and uncle.
- [129:27]
Adam Carolla
Oh, where was that?
- [129:29]
Jim O'Hare
Up east San Bernardino. I mean it was.
- [129:31]
Adam Carolla
Why didn't you stay with your dad?
- [129:33]
Jim O'Hare
Oh, my dad was in Arizona and he, he didn't, you know, they were separated. Divorced.
- [129:37]
Adam Carolla
So your dad wasn't in the picture?
- [129:40]
Jim O'Hare
No.
- [129:40]
Adam Carolla
So to speak.
- [129:41]
Jim O'Hare
No, no, no, he was not. He, he. He took no responsibility for the family.
- [129:46]
Adam Carolla
But your mom and your dad were together until you were how old?
- [129:49]
Jim O'Hare
Seven. Six. Seven.
- [129:51]
Adam Carolla
And then he just moved out. Out. Yeah. And that was it.
- [129:54]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah.
- [129:54]
Adam Carolla
And didn't try to circle back once the success, you know, once that Johnny Quest came out or nothing?
- [130:03]
Jim O'Hare
No, because he figured I would end the job. Would end. And I'd go into some real job, you know, he never figured.
- [130:11]
Adam Carolla
So he didn't send a teddy bear during Christmas time or any of that?
- [130:15]
Jim O'Hare
No.
- [130:15]
Adam Carolla
Just gone.
- [130:16]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah. You know, I would see him. I'd see him in the summertime.
- [130:20]
Adam Carolla
Oh, you would.
- [130:20]
Jim O'Hare
And he lived in Yuma, so I'd go visit him in the summertime in Yuma. That was a lot of fun. Right. You know it's 119 degrees outside Central air.
- [130:29]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [130:29]
Jim O'Hare
And. And he.
- [130:30]
Adam Carolla
What business was your dad in?
- [130:32]
Jim O'Hare
He ran this sports arena called Joe Hunt Sports Arena. And it. And they had the ham and bun, it was some sandwich. And he ran the liquor store and then he would. And they had like wrestling night and you know, they'd have all sorts of roller derby.
- [130:47]
Adam Carolla
So you spend summers with him?
- [130:49]
Jim O'Hare
I'd spent two or three weeks with him in the summer.
- [130:51]
Adam Carolla
Oh, so it wasn't like a total gone and never saw him again?
- [130:54]
Jim O'Hare
No, but he was, you know, he was sort of not he didn't have a career path. He didn't really. You know, he sort of did one job, and then he went to work for the Arizona Liquor Control Board and moved to Phoenix.
- [131:07]
Adam Carolla
It's weird. It's weird that people just had jobs, you know, no one had it. No one in my family had a career. They had a job. You know what I mean? And I remember. I've told it before, but I kind of remember because it was a different mentality. Like, my dad's best friend, Vince Bruno, he lived in an apartment his whole life.
- [131:33]
Jim O'Hare
Oh, God.
- [131:33]
Adam Carolla
With this wife and his kid. And, you know, he was a nice guy and everything. Shared a car with his wife and One car. Two. Two adults. You know what I mean? That was like, my dad's take on. That was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not? You know? What are you talking about? I'm like, 61. You live in apartment, small apartment, you know, and you share a Nova. You share a 71 Nova with your wife. Like, lots of times where I go, well, tell Vince to come on. Pat's got the car. You're an adult male. Like, you'd have your own car. And then. But before my dad died, I was trying, like I said, said your best friend Vince, like, yeah, he never really had a career, right. Like a job. And he went, he bartended at the Moose Lodge. I go, yeah, but I mean, a job, you know, like a career, you know. And he goes, he had a job. He worked at the Moose Lodge. You know, they'd play pinochle, and then he would bartend on Saturday nights. And I go, it's not a career, you know, it's not a real job. You know, their mentality was, yeah, you gotta work. And that's the way it was for their kids, too. It's like, go get a job. They didn't say, like, what do you want to do? Or what training do you need? Or certificate? Or, like, the word career never came up. It was just job. And that's. People just worked jobs back in the day.
- [132:59]
Jim O'Hare
And there was no shame to it. I mean, that just what he did.
- [133:03]
Adam Carolla
Vince worked at the Moose Lodge. What he did, you know, he's a bartender at the Moose Lodge.
- [133:08]
Jim O'Hare
Like, I'm like, he was shooting for the Elks Club, but he took the Moose Lodge.
- [133:11]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So dad was not around, but at least a couple weeks out of the summer.
- [133:18]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah. And you know what? He did direct me in a certain direction as I started making money in acting. He would drive around, he'd come and visit, like, you know, When I. I guess not at summertime. But he'd come another time and he'd spend a week here in the Valley, know, and he'd stay at a motel and I'd, you know, we'd drive around. He'd show me where he went to high school and junior high. And he said, you know, he said, you see that house over there? I could have bought that house in 1939 for like $800. And I went, gee. And we lived in a crummy apartment. My mother slept on the couch and my sister and I shared a bedroom. And I mean, it was, it was lower middle class. And it was like. I said, Jesus, you $800 and you could. Why didn't you buy it? And he said, I only made $40 a week, you know, but he was a child of the Depression, as my mother was. But they, they reacted oppositely. He was like, he got beaten by the Depression and it was coming back next week, next month, next year, it's again, it's going to happen again. And my mother was like, no, she bounced back. She. They got a house in Burbank when he. They moved here, just. I think I was 2 or 3. And he had a job at Lockheed. He taught pilots. He was a pilot and he taught, you know.
- [134:30]
Adam Carolla
Well, who's this, your dad?
- [134:31]
Jim O'Hare
My dad, he was a pilot and he left it behind. I don't know. You figure that one out.
- [134:35]
Adam Carolla
Pilots don't normally. Pilot is like disciplined, trained, sober. That's a, that's not a ne'er do.
- [134:41]
Jim O'Hare
Well, dude, no, none of those words were planned. His being a pilot, I don't know why you'd walk away from that. But anyways, my mother bought the house without telling him and Burbank. In Burbank and said they rented it.
- [134:53]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Lockheed used to be in Burbank.
- [134:54]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah.
- [134:55]
Adam Carolla
My stepdad worked for Lockheed.
- [134:56]
Jim O'Hare
Did he?
- [134:56]
Adam Carolla
And we lived out here. Yes. And then they moved to like Lancaster or something. Yeah, yeah. I was, I was literally trying to do the math with Mike August on the road in Big Bear the other day. We're driving around, I go, my mom's house in North Hollywood was $10,000 when my grandparents bought it in, you know, 1951. $10,000. I said, what is the down payment for? You know what I mean? Like, let me go to the ashtray. My car, like, was it 10%? And the down payment wasn't always 20%. It used to be 10%.
- [135:31]
Jim O'Hare
It was 10%, sure.
- [135:33]
Adam Carolla
So they had to rustle up $1,000 cash and then I was saying to Mike, what was the mortgage? Was it like $111 a month or was it $89? Like, whoa, it's a $10,000 house. You put down $1,000 and you have to pay off 9,000, which was a lot for my family. But what is on a 40 year mortgage, you got to pay $9,000 if you pay $31 a month? Yes.
- [136:04]
Jim O'Hare
I mean, but that was the thing my father, he taught me was the minute I could, I bought a house.
- [136:11]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, me too.
- [136:12]
Jim O'Hare
Did you? 29. 5 on Costello Avenue in Van Nuys.
- [136:17]
Adam Carolla
29.
- [136:18]
Jim O'Hare
5 two in a den and pool. And, and it was. I. And I had to put like 6,000. I put six down because I wanted a lower mortgage. And I said, I put 6,000, $30,000 house.
- [136:28]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [136:28]
Jim O'Hare
And I put six down. I said that was a big deal. I put 20% down. It was like, wow, Geez.
- [136:33]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [136:33]
Jim O'Hare
And. And it was like. But I didn't know where the rent was. I mean, the money was coming from. I, you know, I was between actor.
- [136:40]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but you, you went for it.
- [136:42]
Jim O'Hare
Absolutely. Every chance I got. Once I started making money money, I'd get a chunk of money. I'd say buy another house.
- [136:48]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Because that $30,000 house is 2.6 now. Right. Like it's, it's nuts.
- [136:56]
Dawson
Yeah.
- [136:56]
Adam Carolla
It's crazy.
- [136:57]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah, it's, it's, it's. And property goes up. I mean. Yeah, it's.
- [137:01]
Adam Carolla
And you get to live in it.
- [137:02]
Jim O'Hare
Yes.
- [137:03]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I, I'm with you. I did the exact same thing. I mean, it was later than you. It was 350 was right under the Hollywood sign.
- [137:09]
Jim O'Hare
Oh my God, how great.
- [137:11]
Adam Carolla
Yes. I heard in your book that you'd slept with four women. Changing gears in one day. One of them was our beloved Kirstie. Kirstie Alley, who had been on this show more than once. I loved Kirsty Alley.
- [137:30]
Jim O'Hare
She's a pisser.
- [137:32]
Adam Carolla
She was fun and a spectacular beauty.
- [137:36]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah.
- [137:37]
Adam Carolla
Yes. Clue us in a little here. Four and one day is a lot.
- [137:43]
Jim O'Hare
It was totally unexpected. It was the day before my birthday. And these young ladies.
- [137:49]
Adam Carolla
What year are we talking about?
- [137:51]
Jim O'Hare
I must have been. It was probably 80. It was probably 1981. I'm 30. 31. And a couple of ladies dropped by and said, hey, I can't make it for your birthday, but I just wanted to drop by and say happy birthday, you know, and like open the, you know, and so we.
- [138:14]
Adam Carolla
Open the rope.
- [138:14]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah, and open the rope.
- [138:15]
Adam Carolla
So there's a birth. I guess as a Woman, you always have a birthday gift.
- [138:20]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah. And here it is.
- [138:22]
Adam Carolla
And if you're willing to go there, right.
- [138:24]
Jim O'Hare
And then, you know, and like after a couple of ladies dropped by, it was like early evening and I just was like having a glass of wine and watching maybe the tv. And then Kirsty calls up and who I knew and she said, I want these idiot people here. And I just want to, you know, I'd be with somebody cool like you. Can I come over?
- [138:43]
Adam Carolla
And I said, non birthday related.
- [138:45]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah, yeah. I think what she was, she knew was probably my birthday. My birthday is December 31st.
- [138:49]
Adam Carolla
Is this pre Cheers?
- [138:51]
Jim O'Hare
Oh, yeah. She had just arrived from. I think she'd done Hill Street Blues, but she had not done. She wasn't the star. So she came over and one thing led to another and we were up in bed and I hear somebody coming up the stairs to my house. We never locked our doors in those days. And this is the point of this story wasn't just that there was four women. But my behavior was so reprehensible at that time because this girlfriend I had in New York walked in on us.
- [139:28]
Adam Carolla
Number four.
- [139:29]
Jim O'Hare
Number four. And caught me and then just turned and went and ran and ran for the door. And so I went after her and I tried and I got her away from the house so that Kirsty could get out.
- [139:41]
Adam Carolla
I always hear, walked in on us. But does that walk in on you two smoking a cigarette in your refractory period or walk in on you mid coitus is post coital. Post coital.
- [139:53]
Jim O'Hare
Post coital chat, chat, Smoking a joint, you know, or something, whatever, having a drink and. But the thing about the house was there's only one exit. You could only down the stairs and out the front door. And if we had gone down and talked in the living room, Kirstie's never going to get out of here.
- [140:07]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [140:07]
Jim O'Hare
So this young woman, my New York girlfriend, I took, I had a guest house. I said, come on over here. It's empty. Come on, I'll talk to you. And I, I apologized and you know, and tried to make up to her. And we were over there for like an hour and a half. I figured, no, Kirstie's gone. So we're walking back and it was one of those moments I go, I have to make love to this woman like I've never made love to her before. Just to tell her and show her how.
- [140:36]
Adam Carolla
Is this victim number four? Yeah, yeah. Yes.
- [140:40]
Jim O'Hare
And it has to be better than anything I've done. And the point of it really was. It cost me that relationship. It destroyed that relationship, which, you know, we sort of went along for a week and then one thing led to another and she just said, I can't trust you ever again.
- [140:55]
Byron Allen
And I know the feeling, bud.
- [140:58]
Jim O'Hare
She busted, right?
- [141:00]
Adam Carolla
She must have been an actress, right?
- [141:02]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah, she was. She was an actress. We don't mention names, but it was one of those things. And it was. At the time, in my mind, it was. Was a really important relationship. I did damage to her, you know, and, you know, and I learned a real lesson. You don't fuck around, you know, if you're committed to a woman, don't fuck around. Because it really. It cost me that relationship. Now, maybe it wasn't that great. My judgment at that point wasn't very good anyway. But so we. It's hard to say, but I did a lot of damage and it was not a. Not a wonderful thing.
- [141:41]
Adam Carolla
It's hard when you're young to say no, especially knocking on your door. Yes, if you're young.
- [141:48]
Jim O'Hare
Hey, I didn't. She dropped by. I know.
- [141:53]
Adam Carolla
I'm telling you, there's a difference. There is. It's the difference between most people aren't thieves and they're not criminals. And. And most people, when they find a wallet, would look up the ID and try to get it back to the rightful owner. That's one thing. This is finding cash.
- [142:14]
Byron Allen
Yeah, I know.
- [142:16]
Adam Carolla
The same person would pocket the cash. You know what I mean? Now, it doesn't make you a thief, but you're both. You're taking money, but cash.
- [142:26]
Jim O'Hare
I like the way you put it.
- [142:27]
Adam Carolla
It's a little bit. You're not dealing with this nefarious.
- [142:31]
Jim O'Hare
I like. I like the way you think.
- [142:34]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You going out shopping for prostitutes is one thing. That Kirstie Alley coming to your door at age 27, that's a different. That's a. That's a cash find. That's a cash grab.
- [142:45]
Jim O'Hare
And, you know, Kirsty was fun and.
- [142:47]
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
- [142:48]
Jim O'Hare
You know, when she was stunningly beautiful. Oh, my God. Yeah, she was from Kansas, I think. Kansas or somewhere like that. And I can't.
- [142:55]
Adam Carolla
Why weren't you her boyfriend?
- [142:56]
Jim O'Hare
We just didn't. You know, it was one timing and I. Because I had a girlfriend at this time, you know, and I think I sort of gone out with her before I had this girlfriend and she might have had a boyfriend. It was always. The timing was a little bit off, but she was a pisser. She was so much fun and what a great woman, you know? And a wonderful actor.
- [143:19]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Great talent, great beauty. Insightful, deep and interesting. You know, toward the end, got spoke her mind, had interviewed her a time or two on the show, was delighted to talk to her. And I just also, it's sad because she would be really happy about what's going on right now politically. I'm not saying she was big maga. I'm just saying I think she would like this sort of turning the car apple cart over and just disruption and Elon Musk and Kennedy Jr. Everything. She would really love shaking things up this moment. Yeah. So sad. But at least you got to be with her, which is quite a feather in your cap, my friend. I love that woman. God, yes.
- [144:15]
Jim O'Hare
She was one of a kind.
- [144:16]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [144:16]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah, definitely one of a kind.
- [144:18]
Adam Carolla
That's how I would describe her. So for you, I forgot you grew up out here.
- [144:25]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah.
- [144:25]
Adam Carolla
And I forgot your mom saying, I'm going to take a year off and drink with my boyfriend is what we would call trauma today. And then having to go live in San Berdu with Uncle N. That's pretty traumatic shit for. I don't know how old you were.
- [144:45]
Jim O'Hare
What is sixth grade? I must have been 10, 11 maybe.
- [144:49]
Adam Carolla
That's a big deal. Back then, people had jobs and abuse wasn't abuse. It was just fucking, you know, and you just dealt with it like, you know, there should be a bumper sticker. It's called, like, everything sucks and then you die. Was that the bumper sticker? Was it everything sucks and then you die. Somebody could find it. But that was more. That was a rally call for the Corollas. Like, that's how it worked. It sucks. Your boss is an asshole. Fucking the government sucks. Everything sucks and then you die. That's how it was. So, like, this shit was all just part of how a shitty life worked. And you kind of rolled with it.
- [145:28]
Jim O'Hare
Back then, you know, it was interesting.
- [145:29]
Adam Carolla
Because I think life sucks, then you die. That was the bunch. I was on every third car in my neighborhood. I was 10. I'd be like, you are correct. That is true.
- [145:42]
Jim O'Hare
I was probably more traumatized by the divorce than I was by anything else. And I was in the fifth grade when my parents were. Were. They were. You know, we were. He'd gone. He'd been gone two years now, I think, or two or three years.
- [145:57]
Adam Carolla
Dad.
- [145:57]
Jim O'Hare
Dad. And I was. I turned into, like a raging. I had this anger. And if somebody on my kickball team screwed up, I would just be raped.
- [146:08]
Adam Carolla
Full Lucille Ball.
- [146:10]
Jim O'Hare
I'd go, yeah, I'd go full Lucy on them, you know, full Lucy. And I hated being like that because I was losing friends and it was like, it was this uncontrollable anger. And the good news about going away to San Bernardino was I didn't have to be that guy anymore. And I just said, you know what? I'm such a relief here. I don't have to be that guy. So I tried this comedy improv class thing. We did the Today show and I liked it and Linda.
- [146:42]
Adam Carolla
So it saved you.
- [146:43]
Jim O'Hare
It did, yeah.
- [146:45]
Adam Carolla
And San Bernardino is not. Not in another state. But back then, the way cars were, you couldn't. You were there. When you were in San Bernardino, you were in San Bernardino. You were going back and forth to Van Nuys or anything. My fucking mom's VW Square back when. Not capable of getting to San Bernardino. So if you were there, you were just there.
- [147:07]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah.
- [147:08]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. The book, damn glad to meet you. My Seven Decades in Hollywood is out. It's available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and wherever you find finer books.
- [147:19]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah, go to your bookstore.
- [147:20]
Adam Carolla
Go to your bookstore and support them. That's right, Tim. Where else for you? Instagram.
- [147:26]
Jim O'Hare
Yeah, I'm on Instagram and Facebook and I'm in this show called Virgin river, which is on Netflix. It's this amazing hit on Netflix. They love us. And it's drawn a very. It's usually it's a female audience, but it's, you know, it's about. It's a love story. And it's, you know, we're in our sixth season, drops December 19th and then we've been picked up for seven.
- [147:53]
Adam Carolla
Wow.
- [147:53]
Jim O'Hare
It's like the longest running show on Netflix.
- [147:55]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's always threes to match. Three and a half, three and out. Right. Well, congrats.
- [148:00]
Jim O'Hare
Thank you.
- [148:00]
Adam Carolla
Come back anytime.
- [148:01]
Jim O'Hare
I'd love to. I will absolutely.
- [148:04]
Adam Carolla
Talk about my grandparents house. Paying $9,000 for it. 1951 Jim O'Hare as well. Welcome to Pawnee's. The name of the book. What do you got? Mayhem.
- [148:16]
Byron Allen
Salmon manuka.com Mayhem. Thanks for buying that, honey. Good.
- [148:20]
Adam Carolla
Honey, I'm gonna be at Levity Live in Oxnard doing stand up. That'll be November 29th coming up. You just go to amcro.com for all the live shows. Till next time. This Adam for ma'am and Jim and Tim. Sam. Hey, mahalo.
- [148:38]
Tim Matheson
Pick up your telephone and leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the 8th man at Adam. Carolla.com.
- [148:55]
Jason Mayhem Miller
Pluto TV is a place for movie fans like me and TV fans like me. They've got something for everyone.
- [149:02]
Adam Carolla
And.
- [149:02]
Jason Mayhem Miller
And it's free. I love free. And I love Jersey Shore. For me, it's the Godfather. SpongeBob SquarePants. I am Patrick. Patrick is me. Oh, Forrest Gump. Come on. Criminal minds Solving crime after bedtime. Whatever you love to watch. Pluto TV makes it easy with thousands of free movies and shows. Pluto TV Stream now pay. Never. I love reality TV on Pluto tv Same. And I love that it's free. It gives me the freedom to watch Bravo's Real Housewives Vault channel. I'm totally free to watch Bad Girls Club. I'm free for Jersey Shore love and hip hop. I'm free all day. Survivor. I'm free all night. With hundreds of free reality shows. You are totally free to watch what you love on Pluto tv. Pluto TV Stream now pay Never.
- [149:58]
Adam Carolla
Feeling stiff?
- [149:59]
Jason Mayhem Miller
Put your hands in the air like.
- [150:00]
Adam Carolla
You just don't care. Or maybe like you do care. Move your arms behind your back. Do some gentle twists with your core and repeat. This healthy suggestion is brought to you by Regents Blue Cross Blue Shield of Oregon. Together we health.