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Adam Carolla
Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.
Donald Faison
I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium.
Adam Carolla
Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying.
Donald Faison
It's not just for celebrities.
Adam Carolla
So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you.
Donald Faison
To Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do@mintmobile.com.
Adam Carolla
Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3.
Gina Grad
Month plan equivalent to $15 per month.
Adam Carolla
Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.
Donald Faison
See full terms@mintmobile.com Bombas makes the most.
Adam Carolla
Comfortable socks, underwear and T shirts. Bombas are so absurdly comfortable you may throw out all your other clothes.
Donald Faison
Sorry, do we legally have to say that? No, this is just how I talk. And I really love my Bombas.
Adam Carolla
They do feel that good. And they do good too.
Donald Faison
One item purchased equals one item donated.
Adam Carolla
To feel good and do good, go to bombas.com wondry and use code wondry for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B A S.com wondry and use code wondry at checkout. Welcome to Cruel Classics.
Gina Grad
I'm your host, super fan Giovanni.
Adam Carolla
This is the podcast we play the.
Gina Grad
Best moments, highlights and fans like the.
Adam Carolla
Clips from all 16 years of the Adam Carolla show. If you'd like to request a clip, Please email us classicsamcorla.com we have a companion podcast titled Cult Classics with ad free archives available through Podcast one Premium. You can also find ad free archives.
Gina Grad
For the Adam Carolla show, The Adam.
Adam Carolla
And Dr. Drew show, as well as exclusive access to the brand new show Beat it Out through Adam Carolla's substack adamcarolla.substack.com make sure to check it out and subscribe.
Gina Grad
Now let's get to the clips coming up. First today from 2012 we have Adam Carolla Show 734. Donald Faison, Alison Rosen, Brian Bishop.
Adam Carolla
Donald, of course from Clueless, the movie, the TV show Scrubs. Really fun guest. Hope you guys enjoy. Good day ball. Brian. Every damn night. Every damn night. Good day. Allison Rosen.
Brian Bishop
Hello.
Adam Carolla
And Donald Faison.
Donald Faison
Good to see you again on the telephone. That was a great.
Adam Carolla
I love that scene. I. I gotta say I love dude, but why? I love me some weird science.
Alison Rosen
It's a good movie.
Adam Carolla
It was funny. Give me the keys. Okay, I drop. Come on, please. That was a great scene. And Chet Donald Faison of course, nine seasons on Scrubs and Clueless. Love that movie too. That was Alicia Silverstone.
Alison Rosen
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Do we need an Alicia and Alicia and Elisa? I don't feel like we need both those. We work that out.
Alison Rosen
I was corrected when I called her Alicia and she was like, no, it's Alicia.
Donald Faison
Oh.
Adam Carolla
I would have backhanded her right then and there. The slipper, I can't stand that. But although she did have the. I mean, she was at the top of my vengeance list for a long time now.
Brian Bishop
Are you getting vengeance on now?
Adam Carolla
It's just family members, but back then, I used to. No, but she was just. You knew. Here's the.
Brian Bishop
She was a Scarlet.
Adam Carolla
You knew. She was way too good for me. You know what I mean?
Brian Bishop
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Just look at her.
Gina Grad
No, it's not in that photograph. A young Paul Rudd.
Donald Faison
Yeah, that's right.
Alison Rosen
He's not in that picture right there. That's true. Brittany Murphy or Brittany Murphy. You're absolutely right.
Adam Carolla
Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd. And I believe Dicky Barrett and the Boss Tones were in that movie as well. Right. My good friend Dicky, because they were playing at the party. Right?
Eric Bana
Yeah.
Alison Rosen
I wasn't in that scene. But where did you go?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So, Donald, let's talk about you for a while, and I'll bring it back to me with almost every syllable. Where do you start out? Where do you grow up? What do your parents do?
Alison Rosen
I grew up in New York City. Started out at a theater in Harlem. My parents had a theater in Harlem.
Adam Carolla
Same here.
Alison Rosen
Right on.
Eric Bana
Right on.
Alison Rosen
What was the name of yours? Ours was the National Black Theater.
Adam Carolla
Ours was the National Blacker Theater. Wait a second. We wanted to go with the National Black. It was, like, Better than Ezra. We wanted to go with. And then we turned out there was another theater called the National Black Theater. So my dad said, let's go. National Blacker Theater 182, by the way, like, when Donald Faison goes, well, my dad owned a theater in Harlem.
Alison Rosen
He just ran it.
Adam Carolla
He ran a theater in Harlem called National Black Theater. Is there anyone that's gonna go bullshit the fuck out of here? That's bullshit.
Alison Rosen
That sounds accurate, doesn't it?
Adam Carolla
Oh, he ran Orange Julius franchise in Orange County. Don't hand me that. Ran black. What if. What if they needed a white guy?
Alison Rosen
Would they paint him up?
Adam Carolla
Or how would they do it?
Alison Rosen
Well, you know, as long as he lived in Harlem, it didn't matter.
Adam Carolla
It didn't matter. Yeah. Okay, so Bill Clinton could.
Alison Rosen
Bill Clinton could do a show.
Adam Carolla
I could do a show.
Alison Rosen
Black theater right now.
Adam Carolla
And so your dad must have been an actor as well?
Alison Rosen
No, he was a musician. My mom was an actor in college. Yeah. And I used to have to go to all of the plays growing up and watch, you know, he did the. My dad played the piano for all the shows, and my mom would either direct or be in the shows, and I used to have to watch them.
Adam Carolla
That's passionate.
Alison Rosen
No, it's just we couldn't afford the.
Adam Carolla
Babysitters, so you go there now. Are your mom and dad still together?
Alison Rosen
Nah, I don't think they were ever married, to be honest.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Alison Rosen
Yeah, I. You know, three kids.
Adam Carolla
Not married.
Alison Rosen
Not married.
Adam Carolla
My parents got married and then got divorced, but then my mom. They never got divorced. They just went their separate way. They just went their separate ways. And if you think about it, if you don't have any assets to whack up and nobody's getting married again and it's just 80 bucks worth of paperwork, like, why bother with the actual divorce? Like, I mean, you know, I'll never see you again. You'll never see me again. We'll pretend to be civil in front of the kids.
Alison Rosen
Ability that I could show up and be like, you know what? I think I need some money.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Except that nobody had any money, so. So. So now you grow up in that environment with the artists.
Alison Rosen
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And you get bit by the acting bug early.
Alison Rosen
Yeah. I was the type of guy that would sit in the audience and type of kid, I should say, sit in the audience at all of their shows and do the lines before the actors on stage got to do their line. So I would ruin a lot of, you know, some good.
Adam Carolla
Shut up, you little shit. Right.
Alison Rosen
You know what I mean? I'd get that a lot. And my mom was like, you know what? If you want to be an actor, why don't we just take you to an agency? I was really young. I was like 5 years old.
Adam Carolla
And she took you? Yeah.
Alison Rosen
And it worked out.
Adam Carolla
And it was. It pretty much. Employment.
Alison Rosen
Straight on through my first audition, I got. And then I didn't work for a really long time.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Brian Bishop
What was your first?
Alison Rosen
It was an Oatmeal Raisin Crisp commercial. Yeah, same here. Yeah. Right on, right on, right on. I played the black guy in the commercial. Who'd you play?
Adam Carolla
My dad at the Blacker Theater of Harlem. I did an Oatmeal raisin Crisp commercial when I was a young black boy as well. And so you get that. And then there's a dry.
Brian Bishop
Sliding doors.
Alison Rosen
Yeah. For a long time. I went through high school, school without working. Junior High school without working. And after high school, a book, Clueless.
Adam Carolla
That was right after high school.
Alison Rosen
Yeah, pretty much. I'd done other things, but, you know, Clueless was the first thing that kind of opened up that, you know, made it so I could move out to Los Angeles and stuff and.
Adam Carolla
Do you have twins?
Alison Rosen
I do.
Adam Carolla
I have twins, too.
Alison Rosen
Yeah?
Adam Carolla
How old are your twins?
Alison Rosen
My twins are 13. Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Alison Rosen
I started really young.
Adam Carolla
No shit. Because you don't look old at all. Thank you.
Alison Rosen
That's very nice of you to say.
Adam Carolla
So what were you.
Donald Faison
So you.
Adam Carolla
How old were you when you had kids? Twins?
Alison Rosen
Well, I'm 37 now, so I want to say I was 24. 24.
Adam Carolla
24. Wow.
Alison Rosen
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
But a young 24.
Alison Rosen
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Baby face, 24.
Alison Rosen
Baby face, 24. I was still doing Clueless when I had kids.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Alison Rosen
Yeah. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Was it freaky having twins?
Alison Rosen
Yeah, it was. You know, when you're a kid and you're having kids, it's kind of like, you know, it's. It's. It's scary. It's crazy, right? I imagine, you know, when you're an adult and you're having children, it's scary and crazy, but when you're, you know, 24 years old, it's like, oh, man.
Adam Carolla
I gotta tell you, honestly, I. I had twins. You know, I went the white man's route. And you went to college. No, no, no.
Brian Bishop
That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.
Adam Carolla
That's good stuff. No, I didn't go to college or anything, but I just had kids when I was like, 42 or 41. Oh, we got Cinnamon Crisp commercial. Is that you?
Alison Rosen
That's not me.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Donald Faison
That'S good.
Adam Carolla
The black kid singing. Wow. It's made with real oatmeal.
Alison Rosen
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Wow. Look at her in her little seven eighties little hair thing there. So, okay, yeah, I see. See Mike lynch as a kid. Trixie. And Mike lynch is doing the. Oh, man, I haven't gotten a night's sleep and all that kind of stuff. And I've said over and over, people think I'm kidding. But you throw money at the problem, you'll be fine. Meaning you get a house with problem. At the problem. You get a house with some square footage, people go like, what about kids, man? Pretty stressful. It's like, not if you have 6,000 square feet and some money. It ain't. Because they go upstairs and. And they get a nanny. And, you know, once in a while, you pass them in the hall, you give Them a. That a boy.
Brian Bishop
I mean, did Mike lynch appreciate this pep talk?
Adam Carolla
Well, I seriously, I told Mike, look, if the kid's crib is in your bedroom, you got a problem. You got a problem. If the kid's crib, like in the.
Brian Bishop
Other wing, you're fine.
Adam Carolla
Let's just take the first year kids up. But whatever, listen, you got some heavyset Dominican chicks sitting there all night next to the two kids while you're just fucking sawing logs with your earplugs on. And then in a room that's four doors down the hall, you don't know you have kids. And that's the way I like it. No, I'm saying I went to. I went to bed at 5am last night. That's my point. Yeah, two hours sleep, they ain't worth shit for the first year anyway. Chafing the first year, you might as well just be raising like a possum. They don't appreciate shit. They don't talk, they don't do they just shit themselves and sit there. They don't, they don't do much. At a certain point they wake up.
Alison Rosen
Yeah. You know, when you're 24, you don't think about getting a nanny or anything like that. So I was up, I too was up at like 5 o' clock in the morning every night back then. Until 5 o' clock in the morning every night back then. Going to work and stuff like that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brian Bishop
Do you have two boys, two girls, girl and boy?
Alison Rosen
I actually have three boys and one girl. My twins are boy and a girl, though. That's the question you were probably asking me just now.
Brian Bishop
Yes, but I appreciate the extra information.
Alison Rosen
Absolutely.
Adam Carolla
I got the boy and the girl twins setup too.
Alison Rosen
It's cool, right?
Adam Carolla
It is, it's great. Yeah. Because when you have. And now Mike's gotta have a boy because he has a girl. But if you have a girl, if you have a boy and a girl, especially when they're the same age, you just couldn't imagine having just one or the other or maybe even two of. Two of each. They're so wildly different and little different parts of your brain lights up sort of when you see them. The girl's a completely different vibe than the son, you know, and the son's a lot of like, that's my boy. And you know, and the girl just has her own thing going on. Are we looking at your kids, by the way, right now?
Alison Rosen
Those are my children right there. I don't know where that is, but that's my big Kobe Big Kobe with the shants on.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, the Partridge Family bus shants.
Alison Rosen
But they look good on them. That's my girl Kaia, and that's my son Dade, and that's me in the background with the Star wars shirt. You would think that they would wear the Star Wars T shirt, but their dad is the, you know, Star wars fan.
Adam Carolla
Young at heart. Are you a Star wars guy?
Alison Rosen
I'm a huge Star wars fan. Are you a Star Trek fan? Is that why you're.
Brian Bishop
Oh, you're that nerd.
Adam Carolla
I'm not nerdy enough to know that you can't be both. Are you guys the Hatfields and the Nerd Kois?
Alison Rosen
No. What is that? I've never even heard of that.
Adam Carolla
What I'm saying is, can you.
Gina Grad
No, I'm not a Star Trek fan. I'm a big Star wars fan as well. But yes, I know what you're saying. They do not often intersect. The Star wars fans hate the Star Trek fans and vice versa.
Alison Rosen
But you like Star Trek, though. You know what I mean? You don't love Star Trek. Get out of here. You don't like Star Trek.
Gina Grad
Shits are nerds.
Adam Carolla
Wrath.
Alison Rosen
The Khan was on. Rathicon was on. That's a great one.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, hold on, hold on. I heard the new one wasn't bad, right? The J.J. abrams on.
Gina Grad
Quite good.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, let me ask this.
Alison Rosen
He's a Star wars fan, though, so you would expect a Star wars fan to make a good start.
Donald Faison
But it's Star Wars.
Adam Carolla
Like, it's one of these things where they come out of the gate with. With the great one, then they do a good one. Pretty good.
Donald Faison
Oh, no, the best one.
Alison Rosen
The best one's all right. The second one.
Adam Carolla
Second one's better. That's the best one. And now they've done three bad ones, right?
Alison Rosen
And then they did Return of the Jedi, which is good. It's a good. It's a good ending.
Adam Carolla
Mm.
Alison Rosen
And then they did, you know, the couple bad ones. I'm not gonna say that bad.
Adam Carolla
All I'm saying is, is they're like a great heavyweight champ that's lost its last three fights, and if they lose this next one, someone's gonna want to pull them aside and say, hey, champ, you have a great legacy here and everyone looks up to you, but you're gonna get brain damage.
Gina Grad
It's like the heavyweight champ who made an ill advised comeback and tarnish his legacy, right? Remember the good times.
Alison Rosen
Remember the good times. It's like Michael Jordan coming back after the Chicago to play for the Wizards.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. No one wants to see Larry Holmes holding up Muhammad Ali and, like, doing a thing where you're waving the ref in.
Brian Bishop
By the way, it's like breakup sex. If you had a good breakup, which it's hard to have, but if you feel so.
Alison Rosen
I've never had breakup sex before.
Brian Bishop
Never ever?
Alison Rosen
Never ever.
Adam Carolla
Now define. That's when you get back and have the sex.
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brian Bishop
It's when you go back to just open up the wounds.
Alison Rosen
Now, after breakup sex, what happens.
Adam Carolla
Is that what you're calling it now? Wound.
Brian Bishop
Sometimes it closes up and you need a little help.
Adam Carolla
You never had.
Donald Faison
You have.
Adam Carolla
You have four kids. You never had breakup sex?
Alison Rosen
No.
Adam Carolla
Never have breakup sex.
Brian Bishop
What have your breakups been like?
Alison Rosen
I've been pretty ugly.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really? Yeah. Divorce.
Alison Rosen
My fiance just looked at me like, get that. What are you talking about? You've never had breakup sex?
Adam Carolla
Oh, your fiance's here. I said, well, why don't you dump her now, and then you can bang her in the hall?
Alison Rosen
I think that's what we're gonna do later.
Donald Faison
Well, I got the card, baby.
Alison Rosen
It's over.
Donald Faison
I got the card until we get home.
Adam Carolla
Now there's a phazon. There's a comedian Phazon. And I feel like I knew a phazon. Where does is. What the hell kind of name is Faison?
Alison Rosen
I want to say it's a slave name, but I'm not exactly sure there's a Faison, North Carolina. So I think a lot of the Faisons have come from there. There was a. I'm sure there was.
Adam Carolla
A very rich slave owner named Faison. Zach Braff. Good guy.
Alison Rosen
Great guy.
Adam Carolla
Great guy.
Alison Rosen
Yeah. Awesome.
Adam Carolla
Did you have to pretend like you liked Garden State?
Alison Rosen
No, I did. Like you didn't like Garden State.
Adam Carolla
I get you. He may be shins.
Brian Bishop
Didn't change your life.
Alison Rosen
You didn't buy the soundtrack.
Adam Carolla
I. You know, the thing about, like, Garden State, I just felt like it was a little too precious for me. You know what I mean? Just a little precious.
Brian Bishop
On the precious side, I hated the ending. I can't remember why now, but I know so that I can hate it again.
Alison Rosen
Wait, you hate the whole movie or the ending? So just stop it.
Adam Carolla
At the end, you can fall and hate all over again. All right, Allison, why don't you get.
Brian Bishop
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Adam Carolla
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Donald Faison
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Brian Bishop
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Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
App that's R A K U t e n rakuten.com get some news queued up. I'm going to give a little love to one of our sponsors, Auto Shepherd. I know since you are a man of color and you love Star wars and Star Trek, you must do all your own wrenching on your cars.
Alison Rosen
Oh absolutely.
Adam Carolla
See, they say stereotypes aren't true, but I know, I know. Well, you go to autoshepard.com that's where you go. And they got all the parts over there. They got the parts for you. What are you driving by the way?
Alison Rosen
I'm driving a 2008 Prius.
Adam Carolla
You got a Prius?
Alison Rosen
Absolutely.
Adam Carolla
They got parts for your Prius over there.
Alison Rosen
Really? My next car is going to be a DeLorean. Do you think they'd have parts?
Adam Carolla
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Donald Faison
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Seth MacFarlane just got a reproduction of the DeLorean from. Yeah, I sat there, back in time.
Alison Rosen
It looks great.
Adam Carolla
And his.
Alison Rosen
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Where'd you find it? Where'd you see it?
Alison Rosen
He had a party at his house. Mother, have you ever been to a Seth Mafarlane party?
Adam Carolla
Oh, I am. I am livid. I'm sorry to sound like Thurston Howell iii, but his goddamn party, which was on a Saturday night about three months ago when it was Mike August's wedding and I wanted to go to that fucking party because of the big band in the backyard and, like, the amphitheater drive in theater back there and all that shit.
Alison Rosen
Crazy.
Brian Bishop
Is this the party where you sat in the car?
Alison Rosen
Yeah. DeLorean on the way out. DeLorean's, you know, parked in front of his house, door open. Flux capacitors. Fluxing.
Gina Grad
I just watched that movie today. Literally, like five hours ago.
Alison Rosen
Yeah, same here. It was on. It was on cable. Right. One, two and Three.
Gina Grad
It's fucking fantastic. It's a perfect movie.
Alison Rosen
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So you were there.
Alison Rosen
What'd you think of three?
Gina Grad
The weakest of the series. I used to think two was better, but I think it's quirkier and funner. But number one, it's.
Adam Carolla
That's awesome.
Alison Rosen
It's a great movie.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Number One is a great. Is a great. And it has lots of fun little things in it, like where she thinks he's called his name Calvin Klein. Put his mom sewed his name into his jeans and stuff like that.
Gina Grad
Marvin Berry.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, things like that.
Alison Rosen
It's your brother, Marvin Barry.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. Good movie. All right. Let's do a little news, shall we? The news with Allison Rosen.
Alison Rosen
She'll read some news from her iPad.
Adam Carolla
Sometimes it's good, sometimes. Sometimes it's bad.
Alison Rosen
It's Allison.
Adam Carolla
Love this song.
Donald Faison
And when it's time to wrap it.
Alison Rosen
Up, she'll sign it off with zip. It's Allison.
Adam Carolla
Oh, by the way, Donald Faison. A new series, the X's. Wednesday nights, 10:30 on TV Land. TV Land. Doing some shows, man. It used to all just be reruns of Rota. Now they're putting them out. So that is Wednesdays, 10:30 on TV Land. And Donald Faison, by the way, you can Twitter him and I'll give you more. More news about where you can find Donald. Sorry, go ahead.
Brian Bishop
A frustrated Indiana mom has given her unruly teenage son the ultimate punishment. Public humiliation. The 14 year old was forced to stand on a busy street for two hours with a large sign around his neck which read, I lie, I steal, I sell drugs. I don't follow the law. Dinesha Lacks of Fort Wayne said the punishments handed out to her son in court weren't strong enough to get him to stop. She said, I decided he broke the law and they only gave him a few hours community service. So I decided that we were going to wear a sign that says, you looking for attention? We're going to get you attention. While her son, who has already been convicted of multiple felonies, stood on Broadway Street. Lacks explained that she felt the court system had done little to get her son to change his ways. What more can I do? They put him on probation, and when they did probation, they were quick to talk about the 300 some dollars you have to pay in fees, but nobody's trying to help me fix my son. Passing motorists were shocked by her tough love approach and alerted Fort Wayne police officers said she was completely within her rights to make her son stand on the side of the street.
Adam Carolla
She's a great big fat person.
Brian Bishop
I'm hoping that having him out there is going to make it sink in. She said. It wasn't for it to be a joke or anything funny. He just had to stand out here for two hours and suddenly it blew up. Then again, they've got their way of parenting and I've got mine. My object is to save my son.
Adam Carolla
Well, obviously you've done a wonderful job up until this point raising your son. The one who lies and steals and sells drugs. Boy, he looks like he's so filled with love and pride toward his.
Brian Bishop
Looks like he's gonna kill her.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, really, he really does. I don't. I'm down with this. I like this. I like it when the judges get guys to do things like you have to go apologize to the whatever, or you have to tell people your pickpocket or whatever the fuck they do. I like that kind of stu. I like a little proactive parenting. But I don't know this part where she wants who to do what with her kid. She wants us to jump in and raise the kid?
Brian Bishop
No, she. She feels like the courts were too lax.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Brian Bishop
Ironically, that's her last name. She feels like, you know, they cared about the fines that were paid and stuff, but they didn't really do any. They're not trying to fix him.
Adam Carolla
Uh huh, uh huh.
Alison Rosen
And she feels like through humiliation, he will be fixed.
Brian Bishop
I guess. I mean, the thing is, does this actually work, do you think?
Alison Rosen
I saw one video on YouTube that I thought was amazing where this dad is beating the crap out of his son who is a teenager. And he was, you know, I guess he was on YouTube before saying, you know, I'm down with such and such, and we'll put holes in whoever talk trash. I'm a gangster. I sell crack, blah, blah, blah. And then the dad's beating him, and as he's beating him, he's telling. So what you saying? You telling him it's a lie right now? And the kid's saying, now I was lying my butt off. I'm sorry I wasn't telling the truth.
Adam Carolla
I don't.
Alison Rosen
I don't sell drinks. I don't do any of that stuff.
Adam Carolla
I don't want to go stereotypical. But the Jews. I feel like someone's got to tell these people to rein it in a little bit.
Alison Rosen
How'd you know they were Jewish?
Adam Carolla
How'd you know they were. I know the behavior. I know the behavior. And again, Allison's Jewish. I very uncomfortable with this conversation. And these people clearly. Look, obviously we are broken as a society, and our kids are fucking out of control. And the family, it's pretty. You know, they do these tests, and they do these little experiments, and they need papa for the discipline. They just do. The kid has a visceral reaction to the sound of their dad's voice versus the sound of their mom's voice. And we're raising a whole generation where mama is trying to discipline the kid. And mama's voice just ain't great at raising a kid. And I'm not saying you gotta take your belt off and beat the shit out of your kid. I'm saying you need that voice. Like, every once in a while, even with my kids, I give the, hey, knock it off. And they straighten out. And then they pick up their cell phones and call their attorneys. You know, shit goes down. And they. Then they rat me out to the nanny and all that kind of stuff. But I will do the. Hey, watch it. You know, every once in a while, and they straighten up. And it's a different. It's a different visceral effect than a woman's voice. My wife can do all the bitching and yelling she wants, and that'll freak the kid out, but it's not the yank on the leash that the dude has. I mean, there is something that's going on on some sort of Cellular level that the male needs to provide the discipline. And when daddy's gone, kid's running wild, he ain't listening to mama. And again, it's not necessarily just the physical threat, like, hey, daddy's gonna whoop your ass. It's just the fact that he's there hovering around some of these kids.
Alison Rosen
I mean, I'm not saying beat your kids, but some of these kids. Look, if your kid's selling drugs, if your kid's, you know, lying and stealing from, you know, stealing from people, something else has to be done. Obviously, timeout isn't working. This kid's gone to jail. This kid's, you know, been in front of a judge, and that doesn't scare him. What else is there to do?
Adam Carolla
I'm saying I can dig the sandwich board sign in the kid out front of the house, but see if you can pick up some sponsorship. Like a nascar.
Brian Bishop
Yes. There's so much white space on that sign.
Adam Carolla
There's a lot of space. There's a lot of guys that sell motor oil. Other guys sell insurance. Viagra, Aflac, you know, car insurance, things like that. You know what I mean?
Brian Bishop
It doesn't have to be a straight sponsorship. It could be a rev share.
Adam Carolla
We rev share.
Brian Bishop
Promo code.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Use promo code. Adam abusekid. And, you know, like I said, a lot of traffic, a lot of people, a lot of eyeballs going up down that street. Yeah, just click through. Okay.
Alison Rosen
That's hilarious.
Brian Bishop
Someone tweeted me a story which I think you will be very interested in. Adam. There was a contest in Minnesota for students to design a better hospital gown because everyone's tired of the current hospital gown.
Adam Carolla
By the way, you give me a spent tampon, I'll design a better hospital gown than the ones they currently have.
Brian Bishop
With the spent tampon.
Adam Carolla
Spent tampon. Depleted tampon.
Brian Bishop
What would you do with the string?
Adam Carolla
It's part of the design, sweetie.
Brian Bishop
Sorry. I know you're not gonna just give it away.
Adam Carolla
Donald, I. I've been complaining about this. I never. I never. Well, I complain about a lot of things, but I recently had to have my meniscus repaired, and I've been complaining about hospital gowns my entire fucking life. But I. I thought maybe I'm overdoing it, but I went to go get. You know, give me your. You know, they take your socks, they take your underpants, they take every. You're just naked. And also they do that thing where they go. They give you the thing, and they go, just. So go ahead in the room. Go ahead and Take everything off, go ahead and put it in this bag. We'll put the bag in the locker. Go ahead. Lotta go ahead. I need you, sweetie, I need you maybe 99 ounce. Go ahead and take it, take it all off. Put everything in the bag. We'll put the bag in the locker and then go ahead and put this gown on for me. And then when you're ready, I'll be waiting out here in the hall. And then we'll escort you to the room, then we can start preparing you for blah blah, blah. And so there's that weird clock ticking in your head, like, oh, she's standing out in the hall right there. So you're like, I don't want to be fucking Lola gagging here. So you try, you get the pants off, you get shit. Then you put your arms through this fucking smock and then you reach around back. Now mine had the one string up high around the neck, which I can't tie a bow right backwards. I can barely do the ones sober in front of me, but I can't do the fucking ones behind me. And then there's another string, one goes around the back of your neck and the other one's halfway up your back. Either way your ass is hanging out. And not only with me, my ass do not look like the kid from the Coppertone commercial. I tell you that right now.
Brian Bishop
Is this a hair thing or an acting thing?
Adam Carolla
You know what?
Brian Bishop
Both.
Adam Carolla
No, no, no, I don't want to know, but believe. Here's the point. Maybe it's an acne thing, I don't know, ask me. There's too much hair.
Donald Faison
You see what I'm saying now?
Adam Carolla
It makes so much sense, nobody knows. I'd have to have a. I'd have like a lowland gorilla actually like actually go through me like a silverback to try to find. If there was I. Could there be a zip? Yes, there. Maybe it's young, there's too much hair to figure out whether there maybe is it back there. I don't know, right. Lady, she turned on. The point is I tie the thing up top. Oh my God, it's exciting. And then I tie the thing this in my back, but it's halfway my back, there's ass just flapping out there and I can't tie the fucking thing, it's up too high in the thing. So what do I do? I take the whole thing off and I try to pre tie the head part and slip it over me like a Potter smock, except for I made the hole too small. And pending. And I started thinking, what the fuck couldn't they give me just a fucking bathrobe? Who can do the back? Who can do the back? And this is. I've said and I've said a billion times. I had my hand operated on. I had a big fucking club cast on my thing. I couldn't. When my poor grandfather was in the hospital, I would go. I would visit his scrotum Sack. I would not even visit him anymore. I'd just say, hi, Sack. Hi. How's Pappy doing? Because it's like getting out of bed, getting back sitting up. I mean, when we went to go visit. Me and Jeff Ross and Sarah Silverman went to go visit Uncle Frank in his last week or so. Jimmy's Uncle Frank. There he is. He's in his bed. And of course you get there and there's like, I gotta use the bathroom, so let me. And they start to. And you're like, oh, no, here it goes.
Donald Faison
It's on.
Adam Carolla
Because you cannot get in or out without the sack. You've lost total. You're medicated. It's fucking horrible. And it has not changed for. I was gonna say 100 years, but at least since the Civil War, right? Who the fuck.
Brian Bishop
Well, I was actually thinking. Cause, you know, I just had surgery and I was thinking, I was in the hospital bed with that knot, which my mom had done. There's no way I could do it with the knot knotted. So then once they knocked me out, did they remove the gown or did they push it up or what do they do?
Alison Rosen
I woke up on the operating table. It was the worst experience ever. I didn't wake up during surgery, but I woke up, like, right after the surgery was over. Like, they wake you up, okay, we're gonna take. And I look down and I'm butt naked. And I was. I. It was. It was pretty embarrassing at that moment.
Adam Carolla
That was just. Snaps out of scrubs. I didn't really have it. Oh, Zach's not actually a doctor, so that's interesting.
Brian Bishop
They. They woke you up while you were still there?
Alison Rosen
Yeah, no, I'm butt.
Adam Carolla
I was like, yo, the worst thing.
Alison Rosen
That happens all over the place.
Adam Carolla
Worst thing happened to me is when I was done, I was like, seriously? With the hospital gowns and you're doing knee surgery? Really? Can I keep my underpants on? So. And she went, oh, you could have kept them on. I was like, okay, the next time, don't do me the everything into the. Into the basket thing.
Brian Bishop
All right, well, they called this project Better gown 37 students from five colleges.
Donald Faison
Stupid.
Adam Carolla
Oh, hey, what do you know? You can tie it on the side.
Brian Bishop
This was the winning. You're looking at the winning gown.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Donald Faison
Who knew that?
Adam Carolla
People that were in a horrible. By the way, you're there because you're elderly or you're in some sort of compromised state, and under the best of conditions. I can't tie bow halfway up my back, but certainly when I'm drugged up and fucked up. God damn it. We're so fucking stupid. Why do we do this as a society? Someone does the hospital gown. It's the same thing. I was complaining about everything. I complained about everything. The ketchup packets, the hospital gowns, the kids.
Alison Rosen
Whoa, whoa. You don't like ketchup packets?
Adam Carolla
I like Cat. I like what's in them.
Alison Rosen
I know. You just don't like the packets.
Adam Carolla
Well, not the ones you got to put in your fucking mouth.
Alison Rosen
That's gross.
Adam Carolla
Right? Well, in a world where everyone's just doing the Purell, they just take the thing and they put it right in their mouth and then suck on it.
Alison Rosen
After to get the excess out.
Adam Carolla
All right, so now. Yes. That you wrap it around your asshole and you can tie it on the side like a human being.
Brian Bishop
And yet I feel like even though they did this whole thing, no one will ever implement it.
Adam Carolla
Gowns? No, not at the hospital I go to.
Alison Rosen
No. It has pockets. Come on, man. They're not gonna make this, right.
Brian Bishop
That's, like, actually a piece of clothing.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Donald Faison
Start wearing one of those things around.
Brian Bishop
What does Dr. Bruce say? Does he weigh in on why hospital gowns have to be pieces of flimsy, reversible crap?
Adam Carolla
I've had anal sex and I've passed out a couple times or. Dr. Drew, look, there's certain things that as a society we've just signed off on and we've been living with. I mean, it's in the book.
Donald Faison
But the.
Adam Carolla
The Kiko man sauce, when you're making. You know, when you're eating the. You know, the Kiko man sauce, A.
Brian Bishop
Little packet of soy sauce.
Adam Carolla
The soy sauce. Soy sauce. That's the worst fucking packet ever. Because it's the same packet. It's not viscous. That shit goes airborne and becomes weaponized when you bite and it goes all over your shirt. I mean, that's. Look, we have had containers like the mini Tabasco.
Brian Bishop
Love that. Cause it's cute.
Adam Carolla
Tiny Tabasco container. And how about just the airline booze bottles? That shit's been around for 50 years. You buy 90 bucks worth of sushi. They couldn't put the soy sauce in a little bottle? No. They're gonna give you a bunch of these fucking packets and you have to put it in your mouth. You can't do it with your hands. When you do rip it, it goes straight down the center of the thing. We're fucking stupid.
Brian Bishop
Can we also complain about the cheap chopsticks you get where you break them apart and then one is three fourths of a chopstick.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And the other one is yes, F you, round eye.
Brian Bishop
I know, I get it.
Adam Carolla
But we're just dumb. There's a lot of stuff that we do that is fucked up and we've been living with it for a long time and no one says shit about it except for me. And then eventually comes around.
Brian Bishop
Katy Perry's father is in hot water for some anti Semitic comments he made during a religious service in Ohio last week. Evangelical minister Keith Hudson.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brian Bishop
Said. Are you saying that just because he's bald?
Adam Carolla
What's going on with this? What's going on with the Van Dyke support in there? Like, by the way, I don't. You know what I don't like? I don't like cool religious guy.
Brian Bishop
No.
Adam Carolla
I don't like.
Brian Bishop
He's more diabolical than pedophilia.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. There's nothing worse than. Yeah, you know, I, you know, I like spreading the good news and I'm a big fan of Lord, but if you. I play bass guitar with a yes cover band. Like.
Alison Rosen
Oh, shut up.
Adam Carolla
Cool religious guy, Right? Just be uptight religious guy or cool guy in general.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, but how are they gonna speak to the young people? He's speaking their language. He's core. All right, so anyway, he said, quote, you know how to make the Jew jealous? Have some money, honey. You go to LA and they own all the Rolex and diamond places. Walk down a part of LA where we live and it is so rich, it's smells. You ever smell rich? They are all Jews. Hallelujah. Amen.
Alison Rosen
You said this at church.
Gina Grad
Well, that is true.
Brian Bishop
The founder of the Simon Wiesenthal center said in a statement, if you take out LA from his rant, most people would guess that Hitler or Goebbels was speaking. The national director for the ADL said in a separate statement, Katy Perry is blameless for her parents behavior and it is unfortunate that her good name is now attached to her father's words. Hudson has since apologized for what he calls hurtful and ugly language that he meant well.
Adam Carolla
Look, here's what I understand about religion that's your team and you like your team. Like, you know, if you're a Ravens fan, you like the Ravens, but you also hate the Steelers. You don't just like the Ravens, you hate the Steelers. There's no good Ravens fan that doesn't also hate the Steelers. That's how it works. You're a Dodgers fan. You don't like the Giants. You don't just like the Dodgers. Yeah, you like the Dodgers and you hate the Giants. Like, it's pretty straightforward. You have your team and that's kind of how it is. I mean, it's that like the Chevy guys like Chevy's and they don't like the Ford guys, the Ford guys like the Fords and they don't like the Mopar guys.
Donald Faison
It's.
Adam Carolla
I like this and I like the Star wars and I don't like the Star Trek. You see what I'm saying?
Brian Bishop
I do see what I have. What?
Adam Carolla
I never look like that way and I don't. So you. It's fucking impossible to ask human beings to go, just be a Ravens fan and go, how about the Pittsburgh Steelers? They're playing this weekend. Your team has a by team, by game bye week. I don't know, I don't care. Doesn't matter what the Steelers are. No, no, no, they're in your division.
Alison Rosen
You want to see them lose.
Adam Carolla
You want to see them lose and you want to see them hurt. And that's the way.
Alison Rosen
That's not what. That's not what. I don't think that's what. I don't think that should be applied to religion or race.
Adam Carolla
It shouldn't be. But that's how it works. Because when people. And it shouldn't apply. No, it doesn't apply to race. It shouldn't apply to race because that shouldn't make a difference to you. But religion is. Here's my take on what happens when you know how you should live your life. And here's what I. Here's, here's my plan and then you got your plan.
Brian Bishop
Well, but people look at Judaism as a race.
Adam Carolla
Oh yeah, that's true. That's true. Either way, of course, your religion is not going to be a big fan of another religion that is saying something other than what your religion is. It just ain't going to happen. It never does. I wish it would. It'd be nice. Seems like an experiment that's been going on for a couple thousand years now. I think we can just go ahead and declare failure not worked out. I turned on the BBC News this evening. I hope everyone's sitting down. Trouble in the Middle East. There's certain things. There's certain things that just don't seem to be working themselves out. So if he's. Whatever he is evangelical, whatever. He ain't gonna be a fan of the Jews.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, he went on. Although, here's the thing. Some End Times people are, like, super into the Jews because they think that. That. That that's part of the whole End Times prophecy. Now, I don't know if he's an End Times guy, but some super religious hardcore Christians who look like him.
Adam Carolla
I'm actually. I am into the Jews. I realize their shortcomings.
Brian Bishop
I'm not saying that I appreciate the people who are. I'm not saying I appreciate the people who are super into the Jews either.
Adam Carolla
I know I'm into the Jews because the Jews, they're family oriented. It's a very simple fucking equation. It's a simple. Roses are red, violets are blue. It's rare to find a foxy Jew. All right? It's very simple, very simple equation. I went to North Hollywood High. North Hollywood High had a couple of Jews, couple of brothers who were bused in from South Central. Nice handful of Mexicans. Well, we need some guys at the skilled position, you know, for the football team, you know what I mean?
Gina Grad
We got possession receipts.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't all about moving the chains.
Donald Faison
We had to stretch the field every.
Adam Carolla
Once in a while.
Alison Rosen
We needed big plays also.
Adam Carolla
We need to stretch that field. Yeah. Point is this. Yeah. How are you gonna hit the white guy underneath if Wayne's stretching the field? Well, I play a cover zero.
Gina Grad
You gotta make them pay.
Alison Rosen
White guys the only ones allowed to score touchdowns at your school.
Adam Carolla
That's the way I like it.
Alison Rosen
That's what's up.
Adam Carolla
And then we had the white trash dudes from the Valley, and then we had the Mexicans from the deeper valley and all that shit. Now, Jews, they're the only ones who went off to Cal and Stanford and ucla.
Alison Rosen
Why?
Adam Carolla
Parents together, still together? Emphasize schoolwork. Family. They ate together, they studied. They took after their kids. And their kids all went off and did. The blacks, the white trash and the Mexicans all just fucking. Their parents were all divorced, all fucked up. Nobody did any homework, and it was all just a mess. So every time.
Brian Bishop
Wait, what happened to just regular whitey in there?
Adam Carolla
There was like. There was like three regular white people that went to like, what's regular white? Regular white, not white trash. You know what I mean? Likes Jet Skis but doesn't love them.
Alison Rosen
Right on.
Adam Carolla
You know what I mean? They'll rent a jet ski, but they'll need to own one. You understand and modify. You understand this is a passing knowledge of jet skis and ski do as well as a black man. Do you know what that is?
Alison Rosen
I have no idea what a jet.
Adam Carolla
Ski or sea doo is.
Alison Rosen
What is the sea ski?
Adam Carolla
Doo ski, ski doo. There were. There were four of those people. They went to Cal State Northridge. That's what I'm saying. Regular whitey. So everyone wants to know what's up with North Hollywood High. Nothing's up with North Hollywood High. It's the family around it. And I always like the Jews because they huddle together, they stay, they keep the unit together, and they send the kids off to college so they can get a good education eventually. Sue your ass. Thank you.
Brian Bishop
But anyway, he went on in his apology statement to say, I used images about Jews rooted in the worst anti Semitism in the past. Images that at times led to the persecution and murder of Jews. I can't tell you where I picked up phrases and descriptions that became part of my vocabulary. I used them without ever considering what they meant.
Adam Carolla
Well, but here's the lesson. When you raise your kid like you, like they raised Katy Perry, like, no tv, no magazines, no video games, no pop culture, no anything. You smash cut to her shooting whipped cream out of her tits, right? Like she can't stop shaking her tits in front of people. You've created this weird tit machine, right? She'd like to. Everything she does is tits at some.
Brian Bishop
Other part of her would shake.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So you, you go. You go like Katy Perry at age 9 going, Listen, the guitar's the devil's instrument. And then you smash cut to her firing whipped cream out of her tits, right?
Alison Rosen
Does she do that at shows? Is this true?
Donald Faison
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
You gotta see the video.
Alison Rosen
What video is this?
Gina Grad
It's in the video.
Adam Carolla
Oh, it's in the video. Okay. It's right there. Documented.
Alison Rosen
Okay, I need to see the video.
Adam Carolla
Well, you hop on the back of my ski doo and I'll show you if you're man enough. Show the video. I have my. My daughter now. My daughter will grow up. My daughter grew up watching Katy Perry shoot whipped cream out of her tits at Snoop Dogg. So.
Alison Rosen
At Snoop Dogg.
Adam Carolla
At Snoop Dogg.
Gina Grad
California girls.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So she probably will join a Nunnery by 19. See how Alex Keaton, she'll go all Alex Keaton on my ass. Alex P. For that. That's right matter.
Brian Bishop
Do we ever know what the. I can't believe I'm asking. This gotta be. Did we ever know what?
Adam Carolla
Okay, but maybe. Maybe they never.
Brian Bishop
Maybe you're never close enough.
Adam Carolla
Maybe not.
Brian Bishop
Feel like I should know. Khloe Kardashian is lashing out at her former stepmothers, claiming the women should be ashamed for telling a tabloid magazine that Robert.
Adam Carolla
Hold on. I want to see Katy Perry shooting whipped cream out of her tits. We got that coming. Yeah, so does Donald.
Donald Faison
Huh?
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Donald Faison
I'm just trying to find that exact.
Paul Bryan
Spot for you soon.
Adam Carolla
I'll watch it. I won't be. I mean, watch the whole video.
Brian Bishop
She is angry at her former stepmothers for telling tabloid magazines that Robert Kardashian isn't her biological father.
Adam Carolla
Khloe Kardashian.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, the one who doesn't look like Kourtney or Kim.
Adam Carolla
Oh, is that what happened?
Brian Bishop
Khloe's fury is directed at Jan Ashley and Ellen Kardashian, who were each married to Robert after he stepped split from Kris Jenner. Both recently claimed Robert privately revealed to them that Khloe was fathered by another man.
Adam Carolla
Does Ron. The greatest moment in TV history is the look that Robert Kardashian has on his face when they're like, aren't all James Simpson not guilty? He has a look like, oh, fuck. His whole thing was, look, I don't want to get in trouble with the Juice, so I don't want to get my head cut off. And he's definitely. There's so much fucking DNA evidence that, I mean, come on. He's going to get convicted, so I'll just stand next. It's like. It's kind of simple. It's like, I can keep my friendship with the Juice going, and I'll have a murder go to jail. And when they went not guilty, he went like. He had a look like, what the. He had to look like a momentary. What the fuck?
Brian Bishop
Like Frankenstein and Frankenstein monster. What have I done?
Adam Carolla
What happened with O.J. and that suitcase or that satchel that he brought over to Kardashian's place? Anyway, all right, he's gone now. She's gonna start firing whipped cream out of her. She's eating ice cream that's out of her titties a second. So be.
Alison Rosen
Anytime someone eats ice cream in a video. In a music video, you know, it's a good music video, I think.
Adam Carolla
Well, you can't go wrong. You have. You have all kinds of shiny things, and you have a nice, solid C cup, and she's gonna Be. She's gonna be their Snoop Dogg, by.
Alison Rosen
The way, with his magic dice.
Adam Carolla
How?
Alison Rosen
I didn't realize people spent money on music videos anymore. This is crazy.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This thing was all over.
Alison Rosen
She must have made a lot of money this year.
Adam Carolla
I think she did okay for.
Brian Bishop
She's worth 44 million.
Alison Rosen
Wow. How much does Russell Brand get?
Brian Bishop
I don't know. He's worth 15 million.
Gina Grad
Since we have a connection problem, this may take a while.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, either way, we'll wait until the whipped cream starts flying.
Brian Bishop
So Chloe is firing back on Twitter, saying, the audacity. You have to mention my father's name like this. Should be ashamed of yourself.
Adam Carolla
There are these things called waverunners, too.
Alison Rosen
What is a wave run. What is a wave?
Adam Carolla
You know when you go to the bathroom and you turn on that faucet?
Alison Rosen
Yes.
Adam Carolla
You know the stuff that comes out of the thing?
Alison Rosen
Water.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Alison Rosen
Right.
Adam Carolla
It's like that, but it's got salt in it sometimes. Like, that's at the ocean.
Alison Rosen
There's. I've never been to the ocean.
Donald Faison
Okay, well, I don't know if you.
Alison Rosen
Know this, but black people don't know.
Adam Carolla
I know. I understand. I understand.
Alison Rosen
We came over here on boats, and that was the last time.
Adam Carolla
I understand. Now I'm saying is, if you ever picture water, picture yourself slamming your hand into it. You know what I mean?
Alison Rosen
Right.
Adam Carolla
Boom. What happens after that? That's like a wave.
Alison Rosen
Got it.
Adam Carolla
This thing is like a shopping cart for waves that you can ride in. You know really how you push those home instead of carrying the groceries like they want you to do. Yeah. And you leave them in front of your apartment. That's what this is, except for you're driving it and there's, like, a big rooster tail coming out. Yeah.
Alison Rosen
So there's, like, water shooting out the back.
Adam Carolla
Shooting out the back. Yeah. It's awesome.
Alison Rosen
Is it fast?
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Alison Rosen
It's like riding a motorcycle on water. I imagine.
Adam Carolla
That's what it is. That's what it is. Now here's. And the Internet keeps breaking up. Anyway, so she's pissed that.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, this is what she said on Twitter. The audacity. You have to mention my father's name like this. Should be ashamed of yourself. I let a lot of things slide, but this one is really low. You are disgusting. Yes. You know who you are?
Adam Carolla
She's pissed at her.
Brian Bishop
At both stepmothers. Well, apparently. I mean, from the tweet, it sounds like there's one in particular she's talking to, but.
Adam Carolla
Well, I'm Now I'm confused. Who's the biological mom of Chloe with a Kris Jenner? That's the biological mom. The mom and then the dad is.
Brian Bishop
Well, everyone is Robert Kardashian, supposedly. However, she looks different than they do. So there's been rumors for years that in fact I remember maybe speaking with a guest of this show out there who was like, you know, that he's not really her dad.
Adam Carolla
Oh yeah, well, but I mean, look at Ron Howard and Clint Howard. Ron Howard is, you know, he's pretty easy on the eyes and Clint Howard's a monster.
Gina Grad
They're getting closer and closer.
Adam Carolla
I mean, you know, the hair went and all that kind of stuff, but Clint Howard is a, is a troll. He's a beast. He needs to be destroyed.
Brian Bishop
But what if there were two Ron's and one Clint? And I'm not saying that's the Kardashians, but. Or what if there was like two Ron's, one Clint and then a whole other litter of little Ron esque things? Then the Clint would really, it would be so suspicious.
Adam Carolla
It's true. But as long as there can be a Clint and a Ron.
Brian Bishop
Although what I'm saying is that they all look kind of the same. Except for Chloe. Maybe she doesn't.
Gina Grad
Hey, they're getting closer.
Adam Carolla
They are, but still Clint is an. He needs to be destroyed. He needs to be put down. He scares children.
Brian Bishop
I saw him in Of Mice and Men.
Adam Carolla
Uh huh.
Donald Faison
He's in everything.
Brian Bishop
Not really. But doesn't he look like he was.
Donald Faison
Yes, he's in everything.
Alison Rosen
You said he looks like. He's saying he looks like John Malkovich.
Adam Carolla
He needs to be stopped is what I'm saying. And Ron is, you know, Ron's got the, you know, he's got the ball, balling thing going, but he's, you know, he's a decent looking.
Gina Grad
He gave us Bryce Dallas Howard too. So he's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep going with that.
Adam Carolla
She's gonna start shooting whipped cream any second now, by the way, Donald, I.
Alison Rosen
I, I haven't even been paying attention to what you guys were saying. I just been watching this video, to be honest with you.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Alison Rosen
She's naked on a cloud at one point in this video.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And the point is, is when dad, Dad's crazy and religious, that's, that's what you get. You get. Fuck you, dad. I'm gonna be naked on a cloud. What do you think of that?
Alison Rosen
I love this song.
Brian Bishop
All right, so if you had to put money down on the Kardashians do you think Khloe has the same dad or no?
Adam Carolla
Well, that's the story, right?
Brian Bishop
That she has the same dad?
Adam Carolla
Yes. Yeah, but the rumors.
Brian Bishop
There's been rumors for a long time that she doesn't. And evidently, his ex wives, Kardashian's ex wives, have now come forward and said that he told them that he was not her father.
Adam Carolla
Now, well, now can we do a Maury Povich situation?
Alison Rosen
I know.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that would be nice. That would be really nice. Oh, man, we're so close to the whipped cream. It's scooting out.
Brian Bishop
I'm never gonna do news with this video playing ever again. This is worse than Dag Promise.
Adam Carolla
Run this thing on a loop. All right, I. She's a horrible dancer, by the way.
Alison Rosen
You know what? You are absolutely right about that. I'm gonna keep it real.
Adam Carolla
Can't dance for shit.
Alison Rosen
Katy Perry can't dance.
Adam Carolla
No.
Alison Rosen
Beyonce can dance. Katy Perry.
Adam Carolla
No, that's right.
Brian Bishop
Wasn't this the theme of your wedding, Brian?
Adam Carolla
Mm, that's my wedding cake right there.
Gina Grad
Coming to life pretty much.
Adam Carolla
All right, what's the next story?
Brian Bishop
Starbucks is coming out with a mild blend of coffee, which it's referring to as blonde. It's blonde blend because people don't like burnt. They don't like. They say Starbucks is too burnt tasting, and they call it Starbucks.
Adam Carolla
Fuck those pussies. You know what? All right, It's a show of repeats. But I hate the fucking 50. 50 decaf and the 50, 50 regular coffee. The half cafe whenever they. Yeah, no, not that. The one where they do where everything needs to be split in half. What percentage of people who drink coffee drink decaf?
Brian Bishop
Oh, I'm saying, like 8%, right?
Adam Carolla
Like under 10%. But yet if you go to the food court or whatever, you're on set or something like that, they'll have the thermos and the thermos of regular coffee and then the thermos of decaf. And so you show up and you're a little bit late. You go to get a cup of coffee, and all the regular coffee's gone and the decaf one is full. It's the same bullshit. It's like when you have a. You have 15 people working in your office, but one of them may be a vegetarian. So you order the chicken and the beef and then you get the veggie whatever, but it's way too much for one person. And that one person may or may not even exist. So then there's that big pile of veggie Bullshit that no one wants. All I'm saying is if you're in the decaf and you're vegetarian, fuck you. Go work somewhere else. I'm tired of going to the hotels. And the hotels have the little packet of Starbucks coffee. One regular, one decaf. And then what I'll do is I'll drink the regular at night. Cause I'm going out to do a show. Oh, you seen the whipped cream?
Alison Rosen
It's coming.
Adam Carolla
And the next morning, all I got is the one decaf. It's not 50. 50. There should be 10 regular and one decaf.
Brian Bishop
No need for sweet and low anymore.
Adam Carolla
And if you. Here's the thing. This is radio. This is radio. Yeah. You see it shooting? I don't know.
Alison Rosen
I thought they were coming out her nipples, man.
Adam Carolla
You tell me you're disappointed.
Alison Rosen
I'm not disappointed at all. That was awesome.
Adam Carolla
Okay, here's what I'm saying. So that was that. I need coffee. I don't want coffee. I'm like a serial rapist of coffee grounds, right?
Brian Bishop
It's not about the coffee. It's about the power.
Adam Carolla
And I won't stop until I drink again. Do you know what I'm saying? They never have that conversation in cop shows where, like, he's not gonna stop. Really? Maybe he got out of his system. No, he's not gonna stop. He's gotten a taste of blood. Yeah, I'm saying maybe he's full up with it. Oh, no, he's a serial. He's serial killer now. He's not gonna stop until Bullet takes him down. I don't know. Sometimes people stop stuff. I know, Uncle. He worked at the same factory for 30. Okay, Bob, listen. Can you just agree with me that he's not gonna stop? I'm not saying he's not gonna stop. I'm not saying you don't know. He is gonna stop. Maybe he said one hooker. That's it. That's my limit. Or maybe he said 10.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, maybe he said, I'm gonna change after this one.
Adam Carolla
I wrestled in high school. I don't wrestle anymore. Eventually, I stopped. Do you know what I'm saying?
Brian Bishop
He's dabbling. Maybe he's dabbling.
Adam Carolla
Could have got out of his system.
Alison Rosen
I've never heard of anybody dabbling in murder before. That's just something.
Gina Grad
Oj.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he stopped. He got out of the system.
Alison Rosen
Did he get it out of his system or did we stop him from.
Brian Bishop
That's why you've never heard. That's why you've never heard of anyone dabbling in murder because they just dabble and then they go straight.
Adam Carolla
Oh, we got. We got Kardashian in that. Look. Orenthal James Simpson, not guilty of the crime of murder in violation of penal code section 187A, a felony upon Nicole Brownie. Let me tell you something.
Brian Bishop
He doesn't look happy and he doesn't look like Chloe.
Donald Faison
Johnny.
Alison Rosen
What have I. Johnny.
Adam Carolla
Johnny Cochran was happy. Johnny Cochra acted like you act when you get your client off of a murder rap. Where you go, wow, we got you off of a murder rap. Kardashian 1. Oh. Guilty of crime of murder in violation of penal code section 187A, a felony. I would. I would stop the trial right now and toss Kardashian up on the stand and go, let's review the tape. What was this face about that's not elated now, Cochran, that's an appropriate reaction for a guy who got a guy off a murder rap. You had a look of.
Brian Bishop
Looks like Larry David.
Adam Carolla
I mean, like it was a moment. And no matter how human you think you are, there is a thing. It's like sniffing something stinky. Like, you cannot make your face not do it. Like, it's like having to sneeze or something. I don't care if you're in front of the queen. Like, there is. His face does a. Oh, shit. And then he kind of catches himself. But his face did a thing, and I know exactly what it was. OJ's a friend. He knew OJ did it. We would all be the same way. I swear to God, if my best friend. If I knew my best friend murdered someone, I would just.
Brian Bishop
Ray.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, let's say Ray murdered somebody. I'd be like, hey, buddy, I'm right behind you. We got a whole lot of DNA evidence.
Gina Grad
That'S pretty bad.
Adam Carolla
I got his golf bag and his Bruno Mollies, if you need those. Yeah, anyway, I'm right behind you, man. I stand behind you. And that way, when you went off to prison, you wouldn't have someone kill me. Or we could at least go out on good terms and I would justify it. Look, he's going to fucking prison anyway. He don't need me.
Alison Rosen
Yeah, he actually does look like, well, we lost this one. But you know what? We put up a good fight. It looks like everything's gonna. You know what I mean? The right person's going to jail. We did the right thing. We. You know, he's a friend of mine. I tried to make it happen the right way.
Adam Carolla
And innocent.
Alison Rosen
He's like, oh, what have I done?
Adam Carolla
And Cochran's like, chill the champagne. We're getting on tonight.
Alison Rosen
That's right.
Adam Carolla
It's great, man.
Brian Bishop
That's the news. I'm Alison Rosen. Zibit cunt.
Paul Bryan
That was the news with Alison Rose.
Adam Carolla
And now Alcoa presents Definitely Not a Jew on the Adam Carolla show, Dateline, Dallas, Texas.
Donald Faison
A 27 year old man wearing a.
Adam Carolla
Mask and holding a gun robbed a.
Donald Faison
Beauty supply shop stealing over $1,000 worth of hair extensions.
Adam Carolla
Definitely not a Jew. Yeah, Donald faison here tonight. TV show the X's Wednesdays 1030 on TV Land. And you can Twitter Donald. Donald Faison. That is F a I S O.
Alison Rosen
N. It's actually Donald underscore Faison.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I saw that. But I was wondering what the hell that was. Donald underscore Faison. Why is there a Donald Faison?
Alison Rosen
No, just so many people stole the name before I could get it. Yeah, you know, it happens.
Adam Carolla
I had that happen too. Yeah, long time ago. Somebody registered my name.
Alison Rosen
Really?
Brian Bishop
On Twitter or.
Adam Carolla
No, no, long, I mean, like just, just owned Adam Corolla and he would just like renew it every year.
Alison Rosen
I'm explosive.
Adam Carolla
I was like, just fucking take it.
Alison Rosen
Did he make you pay for it?
Adam Carolla
No, I didn't. By the time I didn't want anything to do with a computer for the first 20 years, computers were out. So I used to laugh at him and say, just keep it, do whatever. Yeah. And I never wanted my name. And then at a certain point, I think the law caught up to him and somebody figured out, I mean, it's one of these things where it's sort of like Ecstasy was in the mid-70s or something. Like something comes out, no one knows what to make of it. And it's not cocaine and it's not heroin. And is it legal or is it illegal? Like we don't know. And then it hangs around for a while and then eventually the man gets involved and somebody says, all right, it's illegal. And so like, so you're comparing yourself to an illegal substance right now I'm saying buying something, registering somebody's name that's not your name is clearly sort of morally wrong. Like you're only in it so the person can buy his or her name back. And especially if they're a celebrity and they've sort of earned their name or built their name and there should be a law against it.
Gina Grad
It's called squatting. Can't do it.
Adam Carolla
But there was not a law against it at the time because there Weren't any laws. We were moving faster than our laws can keep up with us, so nobody knows what to do. And now I think there's laws against squatting.
Gina Grad
You can still. He could. He could have made it Adam Carolla's site. Technically.
Adam Carolla
But if he was.
Gina Grad
Just literally had your name to ransom you. I think it's illegal now.
Adam Carolla
All right, should we hop to the farm?
Alison Rosen
So the minute somebody says to you, I'll sell you your name back, that's extortion, right?
Gina Grad
Yeah, exactly.
Adam Carolla
All right. Micah. Yeah. Adam, what's going on? Micah? Not much. Good to talk to you. First time, long time. Or whatever people say. Thanks. Hey, everybody else, Donald, love you.
Alison Rosen
Thank you very much.
Adam Carolla
Paul.
Donald Faison
Brian.
Adam Carolla
Allison. Allison's vagina. Yeah, we're both here. I'm actually black, which is part of why I called. So this might be the first time you've had more than one black person on the show at the same time, right? Yeah.
Alison Rosen
It's getting dangerous in here. Y' all hang out. It's getting dangerous in here.
Brian Bishop
The quotas do not allow this.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, if Earthquake shows up, I'm leaving, because that's way too much. Yeah, I was calling because the other day, I guess it was a week or so ago, you were talking about black people and gay people and. Which there were more of. I'm actually one of both, so, I mean, I'm only one person, but I didn't mean that. You know, it wasn't like, you know, mice or cockroaches. You know, I was just curious, you know, I wasn't saying it in a pejorative way. Just thought I'd vouch for the population. Yeah, you're one of each, so I can check your box in both departments. That's awkward. Yes, I understand. I've always said that gay. Hold on. I always said that gay is its own nationality. And he sounds gayer than he sounds black. I think gay trumps black. Like that's its own. Gay's number one. Well, to be fair, I went to private school. Oh, okay.
Alison Rosen
So what does that mean? So you have a better education than people who didn't go to private school.
Adam Carolla
He not really black.
Alison Rosen
Did you really learn anything at private school? I went to private school, too. I'm gonna be honest with you. I didn't learn that much. I learned how to roll a joint. That's about it.
Adam Carolla
I learned how to play lacrosse.
Alison Rosen
Right. Well, there you go.
Adam Carolla
My dad ran. He was the headmaster of a private school called the Blacker Gayer Private School of Harlem. Okay, so I think I know a little something about black and gay private schools. Okay. Okay.
Alison Rosen
What's the dropout rate at a black and gay private school? That's what I want to know.
Donald Faison
So you went to a private school.
Adam Carolla
You're black. Fun fact. Actually, I went to school with Skyler Fisk. You had her on a while ago.
Donald Faison
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
And you're a. And you're gay, and you want to be a comedian. Yeah, I'm interested in comedy. I've been told I'm funny. You know, whatever. But I just want to know, do you think there's a way to get into comedy without being the black and gay? Because, you know, honestly, like, I got. You know, this will blow your mind, but I've seen Logo, and I'm not into, like, the gay comedy, so to speak. But do you think there's a way of being a black and gay comedian and maybe weaving it in, but not being the black. You know, I don't want to be like, the Chris Rock or the Rosie o' Donnell or, you know, you don't want to be like.
Alison Rosen
Wait, hold on. Chris Rock's gay?
Adam Carolla
Did you just say that you don't want to be like the Black Ant.
Alison Rosen
Oh, the Black Ant.
Adam Carolla
The Black Ant. Ooh, the Black Hand. Cause they got red ants, too. Yeah. Hi. How are you?
Donald Faison
All right.
Adam Carolla
The Louis Ky. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, that's good.
Brian Bishop
Is that in your act?
Adam Carolla
It's gonna. It's gonna be that. It's gonna be tough. It's gonna be like a chick who's recently divorced and a mother of two getting up there, not doing the chick mother two thing. I would be wildly refreshed as an audience member if I saw a black gay guy up there just complaining about freeway signs like me. I would stand up, weep, and applaud if I saw that, because as a white dude, I don't have anything but. But I. To complain about except for really shit.
Brian Bishop
And you want some competition?
Adam Carolla
I want some. No, I'm just saying I hate seeing a fat guy up there talking about Taco Bell for 20 minutes.
Alison Rosen
I hate seeing women go on stage and be like, where my big women at?
Adam Carolla
Right, Right.
Alison Rosen
Where my sister's at? Where the little dick man at?
Adam Carolla
I hate that. But it works, so they work.
Brian Bishop
So I feel like his only competition is the guy who was in Mannequin.
Alison Rosen
Shaq Taylor's gang.
Adam Carolla
Wait a minute. The same guy was in the Nerds movie.
Alison Rosen
No, no, no. That's two different. Same guy that was on.
Adam Carolla
They are same guy.
Alison Rosen
That was Designing Women. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Oh, me, Shack. Yeah. Yeah.
Brian Bishop
Comedian. But he's black and gay. I'm sure.
Alison Rosen
Was he gay?
Brian Bishop
I don't know. Well, I mean, doesn't he seem gay?
Alison Rosen
I mean, he plays a gay character. That doesn't. Freaking Jaleel White.
Brian Bishop
Oh, no, I meant his character. I meant his character.
Gina Grad
Oh, Jaleel White's gay.
Adam Carolla
That's all I got out of that.
Alison Rosen
That's all you got?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Meshach. By the way, what the hell? We don't spend enough time talking about the name Meshach?
Brian Bishop
No, we don't.
Adam Carolla
That's a crazy name.
Brian Bishop
It is.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Alison Rosen
You look like Austin.
Brian Bishop
I stand corrected.
Alison Rosen
Come on. He got a Cosby sweater on.
Adam Carolla
I feel sorry for the black guys that got caught in that bad sweater zone.
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Put this Cosby sweater on. I don't. To look unthreatening. I'll put the sweater on.
Gina Grad
Was that one manager in the 80s who was pushing the Cosby sweater?
Adam Carolla
I don't know, but every brother had to wear that bad sweater way.
Alison Rosen
Y' all didn't run from us when we walked into a room.
Adam Carolla
You want to get a cab, don't you? Put the sweater on.
Eric Bana
Okay.
Adam Carolla
So, Micah. I mean, Shack, I would.
Donald Faison
I. I.
Adam Carolla
Obviously, you're gonna do humor that has to do with you, and you shouldn't. I don't think you should run away from humor that has to do with you. On the other hand, I think you should try to find the humor in life and not in your skin color or your sexual proclivities. So I think you should try to do it, and I think it would be really cool. And I also think it'd be really funny if you did an act where you said, I'm gay and I'm black. And it'd be real easy for me to get up here and do a bunch of gay black jokes and then keep doing them, like. But I'm better than that. And then you just gonna do. Yeah. 20 minutes later.
Alison Rosen
Yeah, you just got. You just got a full set. Just. Now all you gotta do is write some jokes. You got a great hook.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you're going. It would be easy to say that LeVar Burton should have been called Kunta Felce if he was gay and black Back in. But I'm not gonna go there. I'm not gonna go there. And it'd be easy, and you just keep going. But I'm not gonna go there Next. You know, 20 minutes gone by, and all you've done is gay black jokes. I gotta download this Transcribe it. I appreciate that. Yeah, go sit. That's what I would do. That's, that's. I would. That would be the anti gay black comedian by saying it'd be easy to do that. It's a little more tongue in cheeky than the wear my sister.
Gina Grad
But don't dick and ass.
Adam Carolla
I mean, dick and ass. Yeah, it's not tongue in cheek and anymore replaced it. Sorry.
Brian Bishop
Don't you think that what happens though is that someone sits down with a manager, a publicist or whatever and the first thing they say is, what's your brand? And then they're like, you're the gay black comedian. I mean, wouldn't that be a marketing thing?
Adam Carolla
I think we can figure out in comedy that if you're funny, that trumps everything, no matter what color you are or whose dick you suck or don't. So I'd say let's focus on being funny, number one. Because I do think that when you have something and you know from watching Facts of Life, what was the comedian who had like cerebral palsy or something?
Brian Bishop
Jerry Jewell.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You get up, you start. I think what happens is you get a little bit soft because you fall back on the. I'm going to do this kind of joke over and over, fat guy jokes or cerebral palsy jokes or something. And you don't kind of stretch it and grow and play roles and do things that you would normally do. So pretend. Everyone should pretend you're a white dude with no problems. Now hit the stage.
Alison Rosen
Okay, I've seen a black person do that. That does not work.
Adam Carolla
That doesn't work.
Alison Rosen
Yeah, that doesn't work. No, I've seen it.
Brian Bishop
Who are you thinking of?
Alison Rosen
This one dude. I was at a comedy spot. I guess it's the laugh. We could say either one, the laugh factor. And this guy went on stage and he's used to doing. He was used to doing shows for Convent. What is it when doctors all get together conventions and he's doing jokes that, you know, relate to the black guy. Yeah, black guy relate to white people though. He does this at. He does this at the Comedy Store. And no laughs. No laughs. There's white people in the audience and they didn't laugh.
Adam Carolla
We usually do a courtesy laugh just because he's wearing a non threatening sweater, right?
Alison Rosen
Yeah, well, he didn't have one and he had a suit on.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Alison Rosen
This night. So. Yeah, there's no way you would have run from him.
Adam Carolla
When my dad was putting on a production of Sounder back in the day.
Alison Rosen
That'S Oyella, the black Oella Sounder. Yeah, I remember that movie. That's a good movie. That's a good movie.
Adam Carolla
Oh, where were we? All right, I'm gonna hop to phones. Oh, Bachelor party here.
Donald Faison
Yeah. Hey, Chris.
Adam Carolla
Hey, Adam.
Donald Faison
How's it going?
Adam Carolla
That's right. He worked closely with Cicely Tyson. Yes. I don't feel like I have a lot to talk about with Cicely Tyson. Hey, what's going on, Chris? Oh, not much.
Donald Faison
How you guys doing?
Adam Carolla
Just looking at a movie from the 70s with a couple black guys and a black and white dog. I guess I couldn't decide what's going on. Well, my little brother, he lives in.
Donald Faison
Orange, I guess just a little south where you guys are at, and I'm.
Adam Carolla
Here in St. Louis, and.
Donald Faison
And we're all flying in from all over the country. We're not gonna have time to go.
Adam Carolla
To Vegas for a bachelor party.
Donald Faison
And I was curious.
Adam Carolla
What do we do?
Alison Rosen
Spearmint Rhino.
Adam Carolla
Well, you got the Spearmint Rhino. You also have. What else is in Orange? Oh, Pete Ellis Dodge. We can go up to la. I don't know if you've ever seen a van conversion. I'm not talking about a regular van. I'm talking about a van with the captain's chairs in it. You know what I'm talking about? Talking about a van. Custom van conversion. I don't know if you've seen those. Yeah, they got the Spearmint Rhino. Where's that? City. Industry. Yeah, I've never been there. Allison's house. Yeah, got Allison's house further south, but great.
Brian Bishop
For a bachelor party.
Adam Carolla
I would recommend the Spearmint Rhino in the city of industry, because I have heard that's a full service bar over there. Know what I'm saying? Feel ya. You feel me?
Alison Rosen
Are you into that?
Adam Carolla
That? Yeah.
Alison Rosen
That's the question. Something you guys want to do?
Adam Carolla
I want on.
Brian Bishop
A bachelor have sex with prostitutes.
Adam Carolla
I went on a bachelor party there. Only once I went on. That's where we went on our. On the. On. All right, hold on a second. Poor. I mean, you want to talk about pathetic? There's a guy named Eric who was one of the writers for the man show, and he was getting married, and Jimmy got himself a. That's it. Yeah. And there's a train. There's a train that goes behind the place, buddy. Doug decided to jump because he was drunk. By the way, let me tell you the difference between guys and girls. Where's Doug? I don't know. Well, he's not on the party bus and we're leaving. You know what? He's really fucked up. And he went to try to go get on the train that runs behind the Spearmint Rhino. Well, we'll see you Monday. See, chicks would go out and look for her, like, oh, my God, where's Tammy? She could get caught up there. No, no, Doug's gone, he's drunk, and he's going to get on a train.
Gina Grad
Forget him, man.
Adam Carolla
He's gone.
Brian Bishop
Save yourself.
Adam Carolla
So Eric's getting married, right? And Jimmy says, all right, I'm taking over this bachelorette party and we're going to the Spearmint Rhino. That, by the way, is the night. That.
Gina Grad
Big Tad.
Adam Carolla
No, no, this is the food poisoning night. This is out of a movie. So it's Friday. We're gonna shoot a couple episodes of the man show. And then that night, then after we shoot, we wrap up about 9, 8, 9 o' clock at night. Jimmy's got the party bus all stocked up with the booze and the porno and everything. We're gonna go out to the Spearmint Rhino. Well, during the break, the caterer has the. Has the clam chowder. And I'm sitting there between Jimmy and our executive producer, Daniel, and I take a sip of the clam chowder and I'm like, I think this stuff's going bad. This stuff's funky, man. Something's wrong with this clam chowder. And Jimmy, because he's Jimmy, says, no, no, those are smoked clams. It's supposed to taste that way. And I said, I don't know that much. I haven't had a whole lot of clam chowder because I'm from North Holly, not the clam chowder capital of the world. We were lobstermen, but we didn't. And I said, I don't know, man. I think this thing's gone bad. And he said, no, no, that's how it's supposed to be. And so it's like, I'm taking this second kind of. Was it smoked clams or is this funky clams? What's going on here? Well, everybody ate the clam chowder and it was bad. And the food poisoning, it kicks in about eight, nine hours later. In movies, you eat the clam chowder and then you go, oh, and you hear the stomach rumbling. In real life, it's that night. And you're experiment Rhino. And I. This ain't. This ain't like the. Hey, man, you know, in a couple hours, I think I may take a Shit. This is people going, oh, my God. And like. And now we're at the fucking Spearmint rhino, and it's 1:30 in the morning and dudes are all kind of sweating and looking at each other. And I'm pissed because I didn't want to eat that shit. I was like, this is this bad. And poor Eric is so p whipped that he will not accept a lap dance. And Jimmy's bought him a lap dance, and he's literally struggling. And we're, like, having to hold the guy down to get a lap dance. Right. Big mistake to make. Because now he was excised from the man. He was banished. Like, he was the dude who would not. He would not get a lap dance from. Yes, there was judge. There was moral judgment going on, which is, you have morals, so we must judge. And he was tossed out of the sea. He got. It was like, meet the Fockers. Like, he got thrown out of the circle. He got tossed out of the circle.
Brian Bishop
Fired as well.
Adam Carolla
All the other. Socially, he's basically pushed. He's living in Florida now, practicing law. He got pushed out. Like, all the other dudes are still around. He not a fan of dudes who would not accept the lap dance. But the greatest part was, so we all, minus Doug, got back onto the bus and the city industry on a big old bus to la. Back to the man shows. A good hour cruise. And it's now. It's like 1:45, and everyone's just sitting in there. And all of a sudden the gurgling, like, starts. It all starts kicking in about the same time for everyone. Everyone's like, oh, what's happening? And then when that door opened, I mean, guys were just, like, sprinting out and, like, destroying the bathrooms, running upstairs. And the man show off. Like, everyone got the exact same shit at the exact same time.
Alison Rosen
I thought you were gonna say that. It happened inside.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, for a couple of. A couple of them. For a couple guys. It went on inside.
Brian Bishop
Did Jimmy eat it, too?
Adam Carolla
I'm talking about the champagne room. Oh, yeah.
Alison Rosen
Nice.
Brian Bishop
And he got the food poisoning, too, too.
Adam Carolla
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. No, he was the one eating it and telling me to eat it and tell me I didn't know about clams. That was awesome. Night. All right, so Spearman, Rhino, City of Industry.
Alison Rosen
Yeah, absolutely. What do you know about that place, Cinnamon Works there.
Adam Carolla
Two of your kids were sired there. Hey, everybody, you may want to scrub up your cooch. Donald Faison from Scrubs here. Cinnamon.
Donald Faison
Stage two.
Adam Carolla
Stage two to it.
Alison Rosen
Sorry, sorry. It's all good.
Adam Carolla
Don't be nervous. Yeah, you noticed by the huge, colorful sweater he's wearing. It's not one of the bad ones. Jade, stage four. Stage four. Yeah.
Alison Rosen
Get your dollars ready.
Adam Carolla
Hey, everybody, quit your credit and drop you in and meet Jack Taylor in the house, everybody. He's the designer. Dude. Sorry. Then you hear this conversation in the back.
Paul Bryan
What?
Adam Carolla
That ain't me. Shaq, who is that? Cooper Gordon Jr. Oh, I don't know that Bajan. Yeah. Pussy grubs. Oh, Zach, Brad.
Gina Grad
Oh, the clueless guy.
Adam Carolla
Oh, clueless. Hey, buddy, Charlie got a spotter next to him, right? That's him right there.
Gina Grad
That's red carpet.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right, all right.
Alison Rosen
I haven't gotten that.
Adam Carolla
It's been a while since you got that.
Alison Rosen
That's been a while since I got.
Adam Carolla
All right, somebody wants.
Alison Rosen
I did get this once. This was. I'm sorry.
Adam Carolla
Go ahead. No, go ahead.
Alison Rosen
I did get this one. We were in Vegas. Zach and I were in Vegas.
Adam Carolla
Everybody.
Alison Rosen
And we were, you know, in the bathroom together, you know. You know, after gambling. And I walk out and some dude says to his friend in front of Zach, yo, you know who that was? It was fucking Urkel, dude. So I have gotten that.
Adam Carolla
All right, let's see. James. Ace, man. What's going on? James, Hey. I had the pleasure seeing you, and. West Palm Beach, Florida. Oh, thanks. Appreciate it. And I got you to sign my book, and I really appreciate that. My pleasure. Hey, had a question. Enjoy watching the car show on Speed Channel. Mm. You had some format changes. Had to let Sally go. Anything happening in the future? Canceled. But don't worry, I'll have other shows for you. Yeah, see, instead of doing one show for nine seasons like Donald did, I just do them a season at a time. Like, why do. Why get to know everybody and cash those big fat syndication checks when you could just do one new show every other year?
Brian Bishop
When you can just have to prove yourself each time?
Adam Carolla
Sometimes I just make pilots that never air.
Alison Rosen
That's the way to go. That's how you make that money.
Adam Carolla
That's how you make that money.
Alison Rosen
That's how you make that money.
Adam Carolla
That's right. Tired of being recognized at strip clubs.
Alison Rosen
There's only one way to do it.
Adam Carolla
Ryan. Hey, how you doing, Ace? What's going on, Rhino? Hey, man. Yeah, I'm doing pretty good. I was just curious, man. Where do you think you'd be right now if you ended up playing football for UC Davis so many years ago? Hey, everybody, I'm up here at the Spearmint rhino. I just had a hip replacement, so you gotta bear with me, all right? And multiple concussions, so not as fast on my feet as I was. Let me tell you something though, Jade. Stage four. Stage four. You know, let me go ahead and draw it up. X's and O's. I want you to treat your cock like a linebacker. Dropping back into a hook zone. Head on a pivot. You understand? Swivel. Swivel on a set. Feet moving all the time. Head up field. You put your shoulder come put your head on the outside. Mm. Plant drive. Now, where was I? Ah, yes. X's and O's. Yeah. Never did make the show. Gotta try out with the Steelers. Got cut when they cut down. Back then they carried a 70 man roster. By the way, I have a 71st man. 1986, I believe it was. Wasn't that I couldn't play ball. Coaching Langley ran a 4, 9, 940. Not enough for the show, but scrappy. I had what's called game time. Speed Cherry, State Street.
Gina Grad
8 Man in the box joke.
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay. Oh, sorry. Hey, man, what I like to do is put eight man in the box. Or put one.
Donald Faison
What would I call.
Adam Carolla
Nose guard, one cooch guard in the box in the Champagne Room. Used to bounce. Then the hip replacement came about. Where was it?
Donald Faison
Let's see.
Adam Carolla
Hopefully I would have had some sort of architectural degree or something. You think so? No, I would have. I would have flamed out.
Brian Bishop
Did you say architectural?
Adam Carolla
Architectural. Would you have a Hollywood career degree? I think I made that up.
Alison Rosen
Hey, sounds real.
Adam Carolla
What are they, the Broncos? What are they over there? The fucking what? It's a horse, right? I have no clue, Ace. You see, Davis is the Aggies. Or the Aggies.
Donald Faison
But the.
Adam Carolla
The thing is, a Bron is a horse bucking, isn't it? They used to send me their newspaper. What's on this? What is on their newspaper?
Gina Grad
A horse mascot.
Adam Carolla
I got a horse mascot. I don't know. That's the new and improved Aggie. Aggie ain't a horse, is it?
Alison Rosen
I don't know.
Adam Carolla
That's a dude that rides them. All right?
Gina Grad
Anyway, but you have to have a mascot. You can't have an Aggie as your mascot.
Adam Carolla
Why not?
Alison Rosen
Why not?
Gina Grad
A guy with soil testing material running around getting that cradle hyped up.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, yeah, maybe you're right. That wasn't the one. They used to send me a green one that had like an old newspaper that had like a green bucking bronco on it or something. Anyway, I Wouldn't have been good enough. And I would have just got a concussion and quit and then come home and clean carpets anyway, so nothing would have changed. But thanks, Ryan. Oh, yeah, no problem, man. Hey, I pre ordered Rich Man, Poor Man. Oh, thank you. That brings me to Rich Man, Poor man, available this Tuesday, January 17th. You can pre order it as we speak. Only $5.99. It's a color ebook. My first color ebook. I remember in high school somebody saying, you ought to do a color ebook. And I was like, for Kindle, fire or nook color. And they're like, hey, surprise me. And 30 years later, pow, here we are. I knew this.
Alison Rosen
You were ahead of the time.
Adam Carolla
I knew this day was coming. Well, I feel like that's about it. Donald. Yo. Nice, huh?
Alison Rosen
Thank you. Yes, it was great.
Adam Carolla
Thank you.
Alison Rosen
Good times.
Adam Carolla
Thanks for coming. I'll see you at the Rhino, huh?
Alison Rosen
Yeah, you will. When are you going? Tomorrow night or tonight? You gonna get the salmon this time?
Gina Grad
Why?
Adam Carolla
Cheers. Yeah, I like to go there. I just eat.
Alison Rosen
Yeah, they got great food at the Rhino.
Adam Carolla
Great food at the Rhino.
Alison Rosen
Good barbecue.
Adam Carolla
Donald Faison, the new series the X's Wednesday nights, 10:30 on TV Land. So until next time, it's Adam Croller for Donald Faison, Paul Bryan and Allison Rosen saying Mahabharata. Love.
Brian Bishop
You know how to make the Jew jealous. Have some money, honey.
Gina Grad
All right, that's Adam Colo Show 734. Coming up next. All the way from 2018, we have Adam Colo Show 2275. Eric Bana, Brian Bishop, Gina Grant. Eric proves to be an amazing guest.
Adam Carolla
Hope you guys enjoy.
Donald Faison
Good day. Gina Grad. Good day to you and ball Bryan.
Adam Carolla
Best show.
Donald Faison
However, Eric Bana is in studio. Brian is moist over there. I'm a keep it together, bald man. I'm a big Eric Bana fan, but Brian is a huge Eric Mana fan.
Adam Carolla
So fall in love with him and chop her.
Donald Faison
But I will tell. And then we got car stuff to talk about too.
Paul Bryan
Awesome. That's why I'm here. That's what I'm here for.
Donald Faison
Well, I gotta say, this is going to be the best press you've done all week on this. Because 100ft from here, I have all of Paul Newman's race car.
Paul Bryan
Why are we here? I'm not there.
Adam Carolla
I asked that.
Donald Faison
And I don't mean here. I mean on earth. Like, what are we even doing anymore? Eric Banner. The movie is called the Forgiven. It's in theaters. That is Friday, March 9th. It's on all digital platforms the following Friday. That is the 16th. It's stirring, it's powerful. I tried to watch it last night and the link they sent me had no sound. And I still watched A third of.
Adam Carolla
Was still a tour de force.
Donald Faison
That powerful. Forest Whitaker is in this thing as well. But I watch the trailer, so we'll talk about that and then we'll let the ask Kissathon begin.
Paul Bryan
Awesome.
Adam Carolla
Awesome.
Donald Faison
The movie I heard originally Vince Vaughn was supposed to be involved, and then he wasn't. And. And by the way, Forrest Whitaker, who.
Paul Bryan
I don't think that's true, by the way.
Donald Faison
Okay, screw.
Paul Bryan
That's like a screw.
Donald Faison
Vince.
Paul Bryan
False Internet rumor.
Donald Faison
He was my neighbor for 10 minutes and then immediately moved after we went to dinner once. One time. Not a car guy. So here's the thing. Forest Whitaker becomes Desmond Tutu in this movie. It's pretty amazing because Forest Whitaker is not normally known for becoming other people. He's kind of Forest Whitaker. Should we kiss his butt?
Paul Bryan
For a lot of. Yeah. He was unbelievable. Fortunately, when I read the script, I already knew that Forrest was gonna be playing Tutu. So I was able to read the. That in my imagination and he was just. It just transformed. I mean, like the first time I saw him as Tudor, I just couldn't. Couldn't believe it. And we didn't, we didn't rehearse. We have very long dialogue driven scenes together. We're set in a prison. I play a prisoner and he plays Desmond Tutu comes to visit. And those scenes we didn't rehearse. So literally the first time I saw him on set was as Desmond Tutu. I'm like, well, Forrest has gone. He's no longer here.
Donald Faison
I want to take care of a little housework. Beachbody on demand. I want to thank them for making this half of the show possible. And text Adam to 30. 30, 30. And then Tommy John. I'm wearing the Tommy John underwear right now. Just the best. And Castrol Castrol Edge, because we'll talk about. Well, me and Eric will do about 20 minutes on synthetic lubrication.
Paul Bryan
Awesome. 10W60. 10W60.
Donald Faison
Boy, I was like. I was like 0 for 2 with you last night because I tried to watch the movie. I tried to watch it. Forgiven. And it didn't have the sound. And then I went, okay, but I want to watch his doc. Love the Beast.
Gina Grad
Oh, you haven't seen it?
Donald Faison
No. And I don't know how. I don't know how I missed it.
Brian Bishop
But this one had sound but no picture.
Paul Bryan
I want to open Now.
Donald Faison
So I went to go find it and it said it was on Amazon on Demand. And then I went to Amazon on Demand and it said you got to sign up for something else.
Paul Bryan
It's on itunes as well, isn't it? I'm pretty sure.
Donald Faison
Could not not.
Paul Bryan
You're running out of excuses. I've got it on my phone. You can watch it whilst we do.
Donald Faison
The playwright and we'll watch it. So this is about Eric and his 1974 Ford XB Falcon Coupe, which is sort of V8. The Australians big into V8s, right?
Paul Bryan
Yeah, we are, yeah.
Donald Faison
And hence the all the sort of Mad Max.
Paul Bryan
They're slowly trying to wean us off them, you know, like, like, like a dummy and they're giving us a little teat.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Paul Bryan
But we're still. Yeah, V8 lovers.
Donald Faison
I heard last night talking to somebody that more per capita V8 guys, muscle guys in Australia than here. Or ratio, from a ratio standpoint, which made sense. So the car you got when you're 15, you've had it your whole life, you've always worked on it. What is the power plant in that?
Paul Bryan
It's a 408 Ford. So it's a dart block, alloy headed, chi headed. So it's. Yeah. 408 cubic inch, small block.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Paul Bryan
About 600 horsepower.
Donald Faison
And you went and did the Targa rally or the Tasmanian.
Paul Bryan
Yeah, Targa Tasmania Rally. Yep.
Donald Faison
How does that, how does that work? How many days, how many miles?
Paul Bryan
It's, I think now it's about six days and it's basically they close down the greatest roads in Tasmania and let you loose and it's like an old, like they used to do many, many years ago in Italy, like the Targa Florio and all those old classics. And it is the best but most dangerous road race you can do. And, and the fact we're still able to do it in 2018 just absolutely blows my mind. But done it a couple times and yeah, it's an incredible, incredible event.
Donald Faison
So it'd be like the Isle of Man for TT for Automobiles. And the reason I'll. I'll talk to Gina Bald about this, the reason it's more dangerous than a race on a track is because races on tracks most of the time have a gravel runoff pits and hay bales and big piles of tires and things you can run into. Sometimes you hit some concrete, but for the most part, stuff that moves. This has trees and buildings, Australian trees.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Donald Faison
And then hardier, mightier, the mighty Australian oak. And then oftentimes bystanders as well.
Adam Carolla
The only way that slows you down.
Donald Faison
Is if you can run over a few people taking pictures before you hit the tree.
Paul Bryan
And you need them in a straight line as well if it's going to slow you down, you know, so they.
Donald Faison
Outlaw these races oftentimes.
Gina Grad
You don't have to explain it to me. I've seen the doc mostly because I love and appreciate aesthetically classic Eric Bana. It's obviously that car is my favorite.
Adam Carolla
I did, I did.
Donald Faison
So I have car docs for you.
Adam Carolla
To watch as well.
Gina Grad
Isn't it embarrassing?
Donald Faison
So. And also, I don't think many people know you from Black Hawk down and Troy and Hulk and Munich and all that Star Trek. They don't know you started as a comedian.
Paul Bryan
Yeah.
Donald Faison
And I think it's just easy for us to do some math where it goes. Man, he's a heavy guy who flies a Blackhawk, so he can't do comedy. But you started off in comedy as a stand up.
Paul Bryan
Yes, that was all I was known for at home. And to this day, you know, most Australians still view me through the lens of stand up comedy and sketch comedy. So I did stand up comedy for many years, then went sideways into sketch comedy, which is where I really sort of got a name for myself in Australia and had my own show for a while and then made the switch to drama. So for many, many, many years I was like, literally had two existences. I'd get on a plane and come here and no one knew about my comedy background and were like scared to meet me. Then I'd go home and they're like, what sort of party trick are you trying to pull over there? So it was literally like having two completely different, you know, lives.
Gina Grad
He was in funny people at the. In the third act. Married to Leslie Mann or.
Adam Carolla
Correct.
Gina Grad
Yeah, the old girlfriend. But the funny part was you were in the comedy playing almost a straight, you know, the straight character. You were the.
Paul Bryan
And I got criticized for my Australian accent. It wasn't that convincing.
Gina Grad
I'll be honest with you.
Donald Faison
The. We know you do impersonations. There was much discussion around here about would you do an impersonation? Did you do, you know, you did Tom Cruise, Schwarzenegger, I think Jean Claude Van Damme, which is always one of our favorites as we do it over here. Any thoughts about that? Has it been a while?
Paul Bryan
It's been a while. That were bad impressions, by the way. I mean, the name of the game for me in sketch comedy was to be funny, not necessarily accurate. So I don't think they're great. And I haven't done one for a while, but I mean, you know.
Donald Faison
If you do one, that's either Arnold Schwarzenegger or Jean Claude Van Damme and we can tell the difference. That's a step toward the light.
Paul Bryan
What about Johnny Depp?
Donald Faison
Johnny Depp we would accept. But wait a minute. He can't speak. He has too many scarves covering his mouth.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Paul Bryan
No, the problem with Johnny Depp is that he's not decided which accent he wants to speak.
Adam Carolla
Life.
Paul Bryan
You know, the other thing is that he's quite often had the bill of red wine and you don't really know which version you're gonna get of Johnny Depp.
Gina Grad
It's a bit muddled.
Donald Faison
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Wow. Nice.
Donald Faison
In Schwarzenegger. How about Schwarzenegger?
Paul Bryan
Too many years.
Donald Faison
Too many years.
Paul Bryan
Too many years.
Donald Faison
Now, there were other ones on the list and I'm trying to think Orlando Bloom was on Orlando Bloom, but I don't know that I would know.
Paul Bryan
What now? It's just so of excited. It's so sort of an energy. Yeah, it's so. I haven't got enough hanging around my neck and bracelets to do it properly, you know, but I could. A little bit of time, you know, you just gotta be enthusiastic. And the show, I mean.
Adam Carolla
I wish.
Donald Faison
We could do that as folks from the United States. All we got is like, dude. We mutter, dude. Like when someone does something we don't like, we just go, dude, dude, dude. But we don't have. You know what I mean? Like things.
Adam Carolla
We fire it out.
Donald Faison
Like we fire it out.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Donald Faison
So born in Australia, a car guy was gonna be a mechanic at some point.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Donald Faison
Right.
Paul Bryan
Still am, you know, still like to work on cars, so that's what I do my spare time. Yeah.
Donald Faison
You are gonna go nuts when you see this shop that's a hundred feet from here.
Paul Bryan
I am gonna.
Donald Faison
You might have a couple of pictures of a couple of the cars.
Paul Bryan
Why don't we have a freaking roving mic? And why are we not doing the podcast from there?
Donald Faison
It's a very good point. Because these people don't appreciate the majesty of those cars. Now I. Your V8 guy, right? So I got. I'll tell you. Oh, I'm an everything guy, by the way.
Paul Bryan
Don't pigeonhole me.
Adam Carolla
Good.
Paul Bryan
I'm a flat six guy. I'm an inline six guy. I'm everything but a V6 guy. Okay. Everything but a V6. So I'm good. Good for all of it.
Donald Faison
Yeah.
Paul Bryan
Inline four, whatever you got, mate.
Donald Faison
Can I tell you? Can I tell you we're showing Eric some pictures of the Newman. The Newman Oldsmobile has a hearty, stout V8 in that trans Am.
Paul Bryan
Look at that livery.
Donald Faison
Yeah, Done up in Pepsi. There's. There's a V8. There's a twin turbocharged V8Z car that I'm walking past right now. There's another.
Adam Carolla
Oh, sorry.
Donald Faison
V6 configuration. The guys from, well, Top Gear walking around through there. Our grand tour. Sorry. It's tough out there. It's too many. Too many shows. And then when they switch titles midstream, it becomes that much more difficult.
Adam Carolla
But I'll.
Donald Faison
We'll give Eric the full tour when we're done.
Adam Carolla
I.
Donald Faison
Would you like to hear a car thing that. Sure. Eric will appreciate it's a first world problem, but. Sorry. I got a Paul Newman. You like Paul Newman? Yeah, right.
Eric Bana
Yeah.
Donald Faison
I got his 935 Porsche and I'm doing a tune up on it. And we found out that we had to replace the spark plugs. And they're $109 a spark plug.
Paul Bryan
It's a twin plug engine, too, right?
Donald Faison
That's exactly what it is. And I said to my guy, easy, Eric.
Gina Grad
We get it. You like cars.
Donald Faison
I said, it's a good thing it's a flat six, otherwise it would cost me whatever. And he went, twin plug. So I actually said, it's not a. At least it's not a V12. It's not a Lamborghini. He said, oh, yes, it is. So it's 1500 bucks worth. The spark plugs.
Gina Grad
And you asked for a pencil on this.
Donald Faison
And I snapped the pencil in half. So what is the next event you may be doing? There's the motor if you want to see it. What is the next.
Gina Grad
Sorry, Gina, you want to step outside?
Paul Bryan
I can't believe you. I'm a car.
Donald Faison
It's crazy, man.
Paul Bryan
I don't know if I can continue. I'm happy to talk to Dick and Gina and Brian, but I don't know if I can continue talking to you.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I don't think I can stand up right now.
Donald Faison
Oh, my God, I will. And you know what? I love the fact.
Adam Carolla
Fact. And.
Donald Faison
And then we're going to talk some movies. But I love the fact that you love all cars because it drives me nuts when I talk to a guy and you go, I'm a big car guy.
Adam Carolla
You're a car.
Donald Faison
I'm a car nut. I'm a car for neck.
Adam Carolla
What do you got?
Donald Faison
Mopar, Mopar, Mopar.
Adam Carolla
All I want is mopar.
Paul Bryan
And you're into comedy and you only watch Adam Sandler movies.
Donald Faison
Yes. You know what I'm saying? It's exactly. Or maybe Rob Schneider.
Adam Carolla
That's a funny. Yes.
Donald Faison
And what's like saying, I'm horny. I have a huge dick. I love women, but I only love redheads. I will only have sex with redhead. It's like, why wouldn't you have sex.
Adam Carolla
With any beautiful woman? Why?
Donald Faison
They're all beautiful. Why not just pick the best and like just this one kind.
Gina Grad
You're really depriving yourself.
Adam Carolla
I don't get it.
Donald Faison
Yes, I agree. There's something to be said.
Paul Bryan
So much pleasure there to be had in many forms. You know why. Why limit yourself to just V8s?
Donald Faison
Completely concur.
Paul Bryan
Twin plugging.
Gina Grad
Tell me if I'm wrong, but one thing I took away from Love the Beast when I watched it was I saw a lot of similarity in you and Adam in that it almost struck me like, oh, he acts to fund this hobby. Like, that's how you. That's what you. That's what, that's what you live for is like the car and then the racing and, and working on it, fixing it up. Racing with your buddies. Like, running. Running with your buddies seemed like, like one of your passions, Honestly?
Paul Bryan
Absolutely. Yeah. Cars and bikes. It's just, you know, what I've always done my whole life and, and, and I just, it's. I can obviously do it better now than I could 20 years ago, but. But yeah, I mean, it doesn't change, you know, it's just I actually get more joy out of it as I get older than I used to. I just, just. I just love it.
Donald Faison
Is. Do you think so what Brian drilling down what Brian's saying. There's a part of my brain. Well, I have a sort of one to one thing, which is, oh, they want you to do the MIDI at Road Atlanta this year. And I go, oh, how much is that gonna cost to get all the cars out there and hotels and everything? And then I'll tell my guy, put a show on in Atlanta for Saturday night and then we can pay.
Paul Bryan
So I haven't quite figured it out that. Haven't made the link that hard yet, but I need to work on that.
Donald Faison
And do you think when you think about shows, projects, paydays. I don't know. See, I don't feel like there's any artistic integrity lost to go. I'm doing a show in Atlanta because I'm going to be in Atlanta and I want to pay for all this 116 octane fuel and tires and everything I have to bring out here. I don't feel like it's a sellout. I just feel like it's forcing.
Paul Bryan
No, it's just if it works out, it works out. The last two or three years, like the. The category that I like to race in, which is GD3 sports cars, has just gotten exorbitant. So I've taken a few years off because kind of films that I'm doing won't fund that sort of thing at the moment. So it's like. It's like whatever. But I. I don't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't go and do a film I don't want to do to fund the car stuff.
Adam Carolla
Well, that's where we part ways, my friend. I would blow the director of a.
Donald Faison
Film I didn't want to do while he was filming it to get some money to get more spark plugs for my twin plug flat.
Paul Bryan
And that's why your collection is more professional than mine.
Donald Faison
It is very true that if you have a sort of meter running, like projects and things you want and things you need and stuff, it does force you to kind of get out there and work a few more weekends. So for you, there's paydays and then there's passion projects. I'm guessing the forgiven falls more in the passion project department. What is the process? Somebody. Somebody must vet something. Like reads the script and then says, I think you would respond to this, and then gets you the script.
Paul Bryan
Yeah, I read a lot. I not only read the stuff that my agent will send me that she thinks I'll enjoy, but I'll also follow writers and directors. So I'm constantly reading stuff even if I know I can't do it just so I can kind of keep a handle on what other people are doing and follow the trend of different writers and their careers and stuff.
Eric Bana
So.
Paul Bryan
So I read a lot, and then I just wait until I fall in love with something. And in the meantime, I'll just go and hide in my garage at home and get on my dirt bike and make the most of life. Simple equation. But it's kind of worked for me thus far.
Donald Faison
What about writing and writing material yourself?
Paul Bryan
Yeah, I do a little bit of that as well.
Donald Faison
Yeah, because it makes sense. If you have a sketch background and you have a standup background that eventually and you read all these scripts, there's a certain kind of rhythm that you pick up and you kind of. You learn a lot about writing. I see from reading the script.
Paul Bryan
But I'm a bit lazy as well, so I should be more prolific in that, in that regard. And I go through the thing where, like, I'll watch a friend do stand up. I go, I should do stand up again. And then I, like, I do write, like, stuff comes to me and, like, my brain still thinks like a sketch comedy writer. But then I go, oh, no, I can't be bothered going on the road. So laziness kicks in. It's terrible. It's terrible.
Donald Faison
No, it is very true that standup takes so much effort and it's really like a calorie burner. And it's really like, if you really wanted do it, it's kind of like bodybuilding or something. It's like, you can't just go, I'm going to enter the competition at the end of the year. It's like, no, no, you better go. Hit it now. And it sucked. But what I do is I don't work out. And then I enter the competition.
Gina Grad
Ah, big time.
Donald Faison
Out of his underpants over there.
Paul Bryan
And I also get. I follow some of my friends on Twitter who are comics, and I'll see, like, a photo of a real dingy pub somewhere that I. That I know I've worked at, like, 15 years ago. And the room looks exactly the same, and there's gonna be 80 people sitting on those chairs. And I just start sweating. I'm like, I'm not made of this anymore. I just can't do it. I couldn't do it if. If I really wanted to. I don't know that I could go back on the road and revisit some of these places.
Donald Faison
Well, there are things that we all did for work. I used to dig ditches, and I could dig ditches today, but I couldn't motivate myself to dig ditches because I.
Adam Carolla
Don'T need to dig ditches.
Donald Faison
And it's. You could do standup, but you have a good career, you have a good life, you're comfortable and you need to be uncomfortable in order to go on the road and play all those dingy clubs. And the tough part, and you see it every once in a while when someone, a band or comedian, is perfectly comfortable and still chooses to make themselves miserable for a year by touring in a van and doing whatever. Those are always hardcore people, right? We're not hardcore. Plus, you like other things. I mean, if you like. I don't know. I'm trying to figure out, like, the creative mind and the sort of mechanical mind, because Almost everyone I know, they're crate the thing they do like what a guy like Jimmy Kimmel will do when he's not doing comedy. And he'll be doing comedy all day, every day is then cook. That seems to be. That seems to be the outlet for the creative types. But his job is comedy. Like, he's all comedy all the time. And I believe I probably think about mechanical things more than I think about creative things. Yeah, I don't know how. Where you land in there.
Paul Bryan
I'm the same. I just put a new gearbox in my car and we didn't quite get to start it up before I left. And I'm just in my head, I'm Monday, I'm in the workshop and I'm checking the free play on the clutch and making sure everything's okay and that I put everything back together. That's where my head's at. Not as you're speaking, but like just in the background.
Brian Bishop
I heard about a minute ago, I.
Paul Bryan
Want to know that new clutch and pressure plate and that gearbox are going to talk to each other on Monday.
Donald Faison
I don't think people fully understand that. I've talked about it on this, which is like, we don't do a good job in this country. Maybe Australia does a better job. I've tried to explain to people, when you talk to any drummer, any rock drummer, and you talk to Tommy Lee and you go, what happened? He goes, Well, I was 6. I was banging on pots and pans, banging on pots and pans, and someone got me a drum kit. And everyone goes, good, that's the right thing to do. Because that's what that kid's gift is, or that's what their passion or muse or focus or whatever is. I don't think they get. Or sometimes it's writing, singing, singing, dance. They don't get that guys who are into the mechanical stuff are just as hard into the mechanical stuff as Tommy Lee is into the drums or Mariah Carey was into singing. But we don't really recognize that or we don't think we try to dissuade them. Like, put down that wrench and pick up that book.
Paul Bryan
Especially our generation, like, you know, my parents migrated from Europe to Australia, and so I was, you know, a product of migration. And so the last thing dad wants to see his son do is hold a spanner as a job.
Donald Faison
So the trades were really Australian gay code.
Adam Carolla
Here.
Donald Faison
What is that? Hold on. What? Yes, right, Right.
Paul Bryan
So. So that's like his worst nightmare is that his son's going to Take up a motor mechanic apprenticeship, which is what I wanted to do. I want to leave school and become a mechanic. And he's like, no, you're gonna. Anyway. But the point I'm making is I think the trades still are kind of frowned upon, sort of, but in a structure Australia, they're the guys with all the cash.
Donald Faison
Right.
Paul Bryan
What we call tradies, your carpenters, electricians, plumbers, mechanics. I mean, they make a really, really good living. And I think they're generally pretty happy. They finish work at like 3 o' clock. Most of them see them with their fluoro vests getting in their pickup trucks, or utes, as we call them. It's a great way of life. But I get, I get what you're saying and I feel like in some ways we're kind of depriving a lot, lot of men who are growing up of like encouraging them to take up these, these trades.
Donald Faison
You, you said you feel like they're happier. And I have said that on the show a million times. I feel like they're more satisfied. Which then leads to happiness because they're doing something. And at the end of the day, something was there that wasn't there. When you walked onto the job site that morning, you framed a garage or you installed a water heater or you plumbed a bathroom or something. There was a. Or you put in an intercooler or a turbocharger or whatever. You're doing 12 spark plugs in it. 12 spark plugs in a six cylinder vehicle.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Donald Faison
What do you want to know about that car? Do you want to know anything about that car?
Paul Bryan
I don't know where you found it. I want to know where you found it.
Donald Faison
I found it at an auction.
Gina Grad
This is the part of the guest interviews out.
Adam Carolla
Usually that happened.
Donald Faison
The only time I feel alive is when I'm dancing.
Paul Bryan
I got a question, question for you.
Donald Faison
Yes.
Paul Bryan
There's a couple of. There's an old Martini RSR that's surfaced recently. It's undergone a restoration or partial restoration. I remember that car.
Donald Faison
Hold on.
Adam Carolla
That is, that is a, that is.
Donald Faison
A turbocharged 911 Porsche from like 1974. Martini and Rossi were the sponsors. It was a factory. It was a, it was a works car. Works means factory. And there was like, it was like one of maybe the first turbocharged 911 car built.
Paul Bryan
But it looks, it looks incredible.
Donald Faison
It looks incredible.
Paul Bryan
There was, there was more than one, I think. Anyway, I remember years ago, I'm going to say my daughter was 15, 15 or 16 years ago coming across one of them, the back of a dealership here in Los Angeles, was hiding in the garage. I want to know why you sir, did not buy it. Why is that not in your collection?
Donald Faison
I'll tell you.
Adam Carolla
Wheel it up, boys.
Donald Faison
Appreciate the accusatory tone.
Alison Rosen
I.
Donald Faison
It took me. So I come from a very poor family and they would say, you know, my mom would buy VW square backs and old Dodge darts. My dad drove VW Bugs and stuff like that. They never bought a new car, whatever. And it's like the first time.
Adam Carolla
I.
Donald Faison
Bought a Maxima, a Nissan Maxima, it was like a year old. When I got into show business. I'd been in shows. I've been driving beater pickup trucks my whole life. And then I finally got into show business and I was gonna splurge and I was gonna buy myself a one year old Nissan Maxima and have the.
Adam Carolla
Cloth interior swapped out to leather.
Donald Faison
That was a big deal. And it was like, it was like $17,000 and it was a year old. And I bought it from like, you know, a Van Nuys Nissan.
Gina Grad
Right, right this way, Mr. Carolla.
Donald Faison
When I pulled up to my mom's house in that 16 month old Nissan Maxima, she was like, my God. And I was like, she's like, how much like was this car? I was like 17,000. $17,000 for a car? Because that's a house for the Corollas. And I was like, yeah.
Adam Carolla
And she's whoa.
Donald Faison
And so it took me a long time to figure out that you could pay four and a half million dollars for a car and to just build up the. I would look at cars like a Lamborghini miura, online, an SV and go $115,000. Who, who, who spent $100,000 on a car and now they're $2.3 million. So we should have done it.
Paul Bryan
That Montane Porsche was going pretty cheap back then.
Donald Faison
It's estimated this weekend at Amelia island to go between 6 and 8 million dollars.
Gina Grad
Live show, Amelia Island.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Donald Faison
And no more passion projects. We got to go with like Star Trek and try to gotta lump all of them together.
Adam Carolla
Downer. Yeah.
Donald Faison
And it's tough if you're a car guy because you will see these cars all over the place and go, I don't know, $170,000. I don't think so. And then it comes up for sale. It's 3 million bucks if you've kicked around long enough. So I'm rooting for this RSR to go for as much as humanly possible. Because I have the other 935. So that's not exactly apples to apples, but indicative. Indicative is what it would be. All right, I will think of a question ball, Bryan. There it is. By the way, we're looking at the rsr.
Paul Bryan
Look at that.
Adam Carolla
Erickson love.
Donald Faison
There's something about. There's certain liveries, paint jobs that work, and to me, the Martini and Rossi Porsche livery is just amongst the best.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Paul Bryan
Can I ask you a question?
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Paul Bryan
Interview for a second. Does it drive you crazy when you see a guy who's bought a brand new Porsche and puts that livery on it?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Paul Bryan
Do you want to pull him over and say, it's not an AFX car. This is not Scaletrics. Get the stickers off your car?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, there are.
Donald Faison
There are a lot of.
Adam Carolla
I mean, there's.
Gina Grad
You should try that.
Donald Faison
Well, there's.
Adam Carolla
See, there's.
Donald Faison
There's this thing where you go, okay, so you take the Golf GT40, you take the Golf livery, which was iconic with Ford winning at Le mans in the 60s in these famous livery Golf cars. And then someone will order the new generation of Ford GT and they'll go put it in the Gulf livery. And there's a part of you that goes, all right, that's a tip of the cap to the history of it. Then there's a part of you that.
Paul Bryan
Thinks, I say, just wear the cap. Just wear the cap.
Donald Faison
Don't tip it, just wear it. Yes.
Adam Carolla
Well said.
Donald Faison
Now we're looking at a 917. So while. Get a drip pan for Eric Ban over there, we're staring at a 917.
Paul Bryan
Tell me you don't own that car. Tell me you don't own that car.
Donald Faison
I do not. I do not.
Paul Bryan
Thank you.
Donald Faison
It's another twin. Twin plug, flat air cooled 12, by the way. But if anyone is listening and wants to go to Rensport this year, which is the biggest Porsche event at Laguna Seca in September, I will be taking the 935 to the Rolex Historics in August, and then I'm coming back for Ren Sport. I'd love to go to Ren Sport. You should go.
Paul Bryan
Would you talk to me if I saw you at Ren Sport? Would you pretend like you know me?
Donald Faison
I'd be like, I'd give you that.
Adam Carolla
Look like, if you ever.
Donald Faison
If you ever saw Animal House where Otis day in the night and Otis was on the stage and he yelled, otis, my main man. And he kind of like, I recognize him, but I don't want other people around me to recognize that. I recognize. But listen, you can see the car quite clearly from the other side of the velvet rope. It's not, it's not an obstruction, it's not a wall.
Gina Grad
It wouldn't be outright rude to you.
Adam Carolla
You might be able to see it better there.
Brian Bishop
And by the way, maybe Eric's noticed.
Adam Carolla
The livery at this studio.
Donald Faison
Yes, tip of the cap to the Gulf livery as well. No, you should go. I, I am. There's a thing, and I'm gonna get too philosophical, but I'm in negotiations with Joel McHale because Joel McHale is like, I love Porsche. I go, then go to rennsport. It'll be 60,000 people there, all Porsche fanatics. And the best Porsches on the planet.
Adam Carolla
Will all be there.
Donald Faison
And I think people go like, yeah, it'd be great, but work and whatever. And it's like, just go, just go for the place.
Paul Bryan
If you live in California, how can you not go? I got an excuse. I gotta fly away from Australia. Yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Well, this is where you set up.
Donald Faison
Some bad movie to do around September that gets you a flight out here somewhere, you know, somewhere on the west coast. And then you sneak away and you come see us at Rensburg Munich too.
Gina Grad
Where are they now?
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Donald Faison
I'll tell you about Beachbody On Demand online fitness streaming service. Unlimited access to a variety of effective world class workouts, personalized to your needs, plus nutritional content. Convenient, accessible all over your own computer, web enabled tv, tablet, smartphone or any other web enabled device. No need to go to the gym. Annual subscription is cheaper than a gym membership. Programs for any level of fitness. Cardio, weight training, yoga, low impact, even dance. So over 600 different workouts. And right now my listeners get a free trial membership. When you text the word activity Adam to 30. 30, 30, that's three 30s in a row. That's full access. All the workouts, all the nutritional information free. Just text the word Adam to 30. 30, 30. That's Beachbody on Demand. So Eric, a little time left. I'm carving out a little time for you to run over there and kick some tires. I'm sure you can carve a little out for that. We have the forgiven that's coming out this Friday, March 9, and then on all video. Chris, did you find out how wide the release is?
Adam Carolla
It's not wide, but it's expanded. So if you don't see it in.
Alison Rosen
Theaters this Friday, go get it On Demand next Friday.
Donald Faison
And where can you go to find out where it is near you? Do we have a website or something. We can send people and then after that. How does it work? How far in advance do you line up movies?
Paul Bryan
Well, these days it's harder and harder to do that, so I'm still trying to find the next thing to do. I'm sort of fishing around at the moment, so I don't know yet what I'm gonna do. I got a rough idea of what I might do towards the end of the year, but not sure.
Gina Grad
Do you get approached with comedic projects, comedic roles?
Paul Bryan
Not as many as I do drama. I'd say it's probably 121.
Gina Grad
That's shocking.
Donald Faison
Yeah. I'll tell you what, why don't you put on 80 pounds and see if the phone doesn't start ringing? For the comedic roles, you're like, too tall. A drink of water. And Hollywood kind of works that way, you know, they just see the strapping guy and you get pigeonholed.
Paul Bryan
But I get another job by the end of the year. I'll try that, see how it works.
Donald Faison
How did it work with Chopper? We put on, what, £30 for that?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Paul Bryan
Just ugly. Just ugly. Just. No, there's no. There's no real cool, healthy way of doing that. It's just. And we were on a really tight budget, so I didn't have much time. So I just did it the really bad way. And it obviously then took a lot longer to take it off afterwards. I wouldn't do it again. It was a one, one, one type deal, I think. And it's not good for you.
Donald Faison
Well, you look like you're in fantastic shape.
Adam Carolla
Shape.
Donald Faison
So what do you do?
Adam Carolla
What's.
Donald Faison
What's the regimen?
Adam Carolla
What's the schedule?
Paul Bryan
I don't have a real regimen. I. I cycle a lot and I like riding my dirt bike and otherwise. I'm not. Just not a big junk food guy in general, but I don't jog. I'm not a gym junkie. I don't like the gym. Mainly cycling.
Donald Faison
Do we have a, like, breakfast? I like to ask everyone who's in great shape give me a breakfast, lunch and a dinner.
Paul Bryan
Okay. Well, sometimes I like bit of toast with a bit of vegemite and a couple of eggs on top. Okay. I like my porridge. I like my porridge and I like my granola.
Donald Faison
All right.
Gina Grad
He's a Charles Dickens character.
Adam Carolla
Kangaroo jerky.
Donald Faison
He comes down with his candle and this big stocking hat.
Gina Grad
Mummy, Mumsy.
Paul Bryan
And beer, of course.
Adam Carolla
Good.
Gina Grad
That's right.
Adam Carolla
Wash it like water.
Donald Faison
I. I don't know who has everyone Tried Vegemite?
Paul Bryan
Yes. Yeah, but you gotta try properly. Don't give me this American thing. I tried Vegemite and I put it on like it was jam and it was disgusting.
Donald Faison
Well, let's put it on. That's proper.
Paul Bryan
You gotta put it on very sparingly. It's not like honey or marmalade.
Donald Faison
It's.
Paul Bryan
It's like just a little bit.
Donald Faison
I tried some in a van.
Paul Bryan
There's a problem with a guy named.
Donald Faison
Fraser who was nuts and he was from New Zealand, which I guess is big Vegemite country as well.
Paul Bryan
Died in Lumposin together.
Adam Carolla
They don't like being associated with the Kiwis.
Donald Faison
Canadians. That's kind of a lateral move for.
Adam Carolla
Us, a lot of us.
Donald Faison
But yeah, I tried it like on a Ritz in his camper van out front of a construction site site, and he was crazy. But I. I felt it was a little bitter. But I think you're right. I think the ratio was bad. I think a fine film of it with a couple of poached eggs on top. And now we got something. A bit of cheese.
Paul Bryan
Yeah.
Donald Faison
What is our Vegemite?
Adam Carolla
What is our poi.
Gina Grad
American cheese.
Donald Faison
American cheese? Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Velveeta.
Gina Grad
No one likes that. We get laughed at around the world for American craft slices or whatever.
Adam Carolla
Right, that's.
Brian Bishop
That's true.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. The reason I ask is I don't.
Donald Faison
Like American cheese, but I like it on a cheeseburger.
Adam Carolla
But no other formal you on the cheeseburger.
Gina Grad
It's just part of the whole thing. But yes, a slice of American cheese is gross.
Donald Faison
When I would see kids eating a slice of American cheese, pulling it off.
Adam Carolla
The film to their head with this.
Donald Faison
Thing, it always bothered me. I'm like, go get the real cheese.
Adam Carolla
I like this.
Donald Faison
See?
Adam Carolla
Ultimate and stupid.
Donald Faison
Like, I once had a conversation with a woman who explained that they like the Mrs. Butterworth syrup with the fake maple flavoring. And I said, you're rich. Go to Trader Joe's and get real maple. 100% maple syrup. And she said, I like this one better. And I was like, how can you like the synthesized? It's like, I like having sex with my shop vac better than I like a beautiful woman. Like, get that drop. I get it, Eric. So we don't know what's coming up. We know you gotta go home and you gotta check the pressure plate, the clutch. And I'm not sure if you mentioned the throw out bearing, but it's important to get that throw out bearing. Always replace the throat bearing.
Paul Bryan
It's like hydraulic too.
Donald Faison
Thirty dollar hydraulic clutch. Not the. Not the cable. And four speed manual.
Paul Bryan
Five.
Adam Carolla
Five.
Donald Faison
Yeah. Stepping up.
Paul Bryan
Yeah. I had a. It had a five in it, but it was a little. It was a little underrated for the power output and I wasn't happy with the ratios. First and second was a bit too short, so just swapped it out.
Donald Faison
The Movie, the Love, the Beast. I noticed you crashed in it. I don't want to give too much away, but I think it's from 2009 and I'm gonna run this thing down and find it and watch it. But I was watching the trailer last night. Looked like very, very intense because not a lot of room for error because when you hang a tire and you get off the road again, you're not in the gravel pit. You're just in someone's yard.
Paul Bryan
Yard, essentially. You've got to do those events in cars that you're prepared to crash, basically.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Paul Bryan
That's fine. In a late model car that you can get replacement bits for. Back the couple times that I did it, it was very popular to do it in older vehicles and you had a lot of enthusiasts doing it. Now it's kind of like an outright race race and a lot of modern vehicles. And the problem with that is it got. It's sort of more dangerous the stickier the tire running because the point at which you lose grip, your speed is much higher and your margin for error is much narrower. So you're almost better off driving something that's a bit squirrely and that has a limit. That has a limit that you can feel. But they get some big accidents down there.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Donald Faison
So the thing about the big slicks is they stick until they don't stick. And then when they don't stick, they immediately.
Adam Carolla
You go.
Donald Faison
And Eric's stuff. Eric's talking about is stuff where you can feel it along the way. There's a kind of a middle, not a. It's not a toggle switch. It's kind of a dimmer. You can feel yourself starting to get loose and move around a little and compensate versus the. You're sticking and now you're not sticking.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Donald Faison
So when we do our races, they'll give you like two laps that get the tires sticky and the tires literally become goo at a certain point. The 944.
Adam Carolla
Sorry, buddy.
Donald Faison
I just like talking cars with Eric Bannon.
Gina Grad
Let's apologize to Eric.
Donald Faison
I want to know about the 944. You really race speaking.
Paul Bryan
My first race car was a 944. Yeah. I raced in a one make series for a while. It was a lot of fun. And they're a great little car. I mean, not a lot of horsepower, but they're really well balanced. In a one make series. They're a hell of a lot of fun. Yeah. That was my first race car. First circuit race car. Yeah.
Donald Faison
And is. And would you go. Would you go like you ever heard of the lead for foot festival? That's Millen brothers. Steve Millen. And let's see. Oh, I think they're, they're, they're. I think they're from New Zealand actually. I probably should break them up.
Paul Bryan
Talking about the Pike's Peak guys.
Donald Faison
Yes, yes. I'm talking about those guys.
Adam Carolla
Kiwis.
Donald Faison
Yeah. Not to be trusted.
Paul Bryan
Over the water.
Donald Faison
Steve Millen's name is on one of the cars you're gonna see over there. So we'll just put some gaffer's tape over that. Perhaps I shouldn't have brought it up. Castrol man. Designed for customers and consumers who the best protection for their cars. Tech advances and made engines smaller. That's right. Smaller displacement. More powerful though, because we have CAFE standards here, we have to get higher gas mileage.
Adam Carolla
So what do we do?
Donald Faison
We shrink the engine down and then we put a turbocharger on it or two or four. And then we ask the engine to do more. And back in the day, you'd get yourself a nice big block and put it in your car and just Cruise around at 2000rpm. Not working too hard. Now the car's working, engine's working, and you need the right protection. Castrol Edge is formulated with fluid titanium technology. Three times stronger against viscosity breakdown than leading. Full synthetics before we wrap here, Brian, any questions? Brian's a resident film nut. He loves everything bana. And again, everyone clear out. We all love Black Hawk Down. I think one of the things you. I'd read about you is that you'll watch your movies once, but if, and, and move on. But it. But Black Hawk down pops up, you will watch that movie.
Paul Bryan
Oh, well, because it's like so many of my buddies in the film who I still keep in touch with. And so I can't turn it. I say to myself, five minutes, right? I'll watch five minutes and then another one of my buddies will turn up and then another one and I, I can't stop watching. And so, so it's probably the only film that I can watch.
Gina Grad
It's a tremendous cast, top to bottom. A lot of guys who went on to become Big stars who weren't stars at the time. Guys you wouldn't expect to deliver a great performance. Josh Hardnitz delivers a great performance. That movie. I have a question about, sort of related to that. You were fortunate enough to work with Spielberg and Ridley Scott, both titans of, you know, directing later in their careers. So I imagine at that point they just, they got it down. They know what they're doing. What did you notice any similarities? I mean, these are two masters, you know, of filmmaking. What did you. What did you.
Paul Bryan
Yeah, they were. I mean, I mean, Ridley Scott, literally, I remember him saying one day, I've already made the film, I've just got to shoot it now.
Alison Rosen
Right.
Paul Bryan
Which is like such a cool thing to think of. And he would do these little storyboards and you just wanted to keep pinching those drawings on the side of the set. He was amazing. And Stephen as well, but both just. The thing that really stands out is the way they react to what's happening on the day. You know, some directors really freak out when something's going wrong and other directors just expect things to go wrong and can't wait to come up with the solution to the problem, you know. And so both of them were similar in that, in that regard.
Donald Faison
I could imagine with something like Black Hawk down, there must have been something going wrong every minute of every day, minutes.
Paul Bryan
And we were shooting in Rabat, Morocco. A lot of the places we were shooting and weren't even locked down. We, we'd be driving in a Humvee down a. Down a little narrow street at, you know, 40 miles an hour. And just before we rolled, roll film, someone would run down and ask the kid not to come out the door for 30 seconds. And then we'd charge on down and I would just be constantly looking to, you know, hope that no one was coming out of these houses. So it was, it was crazy. It was absolutely crazy.
Gina Grad
One of my favorite movies of yours. It's underrated and hasn't gotten mentioned here and I doubt gets brought up very much. I love doing Ha. Hannah. It was a really, really good action movie. It was exactly what it should have been. And a little bit more. And starring Hannah is about a. So Eric as a retired secret agent, I forget, sorry, what agency you're for, but you're essentially living out in the middle of the wilderness with your young daughter, just him and her. And he's raising a young Saoirse Ronan. He's raising her to be like an assassin, essentially, like, you know, a kick.
Paul Bryan
Ass little girl who's being Hunted by Cate Blanchett, who's also great.
Gina Grad
She was a perfect villain. It was a very underrated movie.
Paul Bryan
Yeah. Thank you. Not a Question by Joe Wright.
Adam Carolla
It's.
Paul Bryan
It's a great, great film and it's got an amazing soundtrack, if you like your music. Because Chemical Brothers and, yeah, Joe does an incredible job.
Donald Faison
We should find. We can find that on all the platforms, probably, right.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Donald Faison
That's, what, about six years old?
Gina Grad
I would say that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. 11.
Gina Grad
Ish. 12?
Paul Bryan
No, no, she was older. She was.
Gina Grad
She looked 11 or 16.
Adam Carolla
She. Yes.
Paul Bryan
Probably looked about 13 or 14 in the film. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Donald Faison
The movie the Forgiven again, so Good. I watched 37 minutes of it with no sound.
Adam Carolla
Well, you can watch it in theaters in la, New York this weekend, and it's expanding to select cities next weekend. Fandango.com for theater near you. Fandango.com and Eric is terrifying, so congratulations on that.
Paul Bryan
Thank you. Thank you.
Donald Faison
And also on digital platforms, coming out on March 16th. And if you want to shoot Eric a tweet, you go to Eric Bana 67 and shoot him a tweet. Eric, this has been a bit of all right, but it's going to get better about 100ft from here.
Paul Bryan
Terrific. Thank you.
Donald Faison
We'll take a quick break, we'll do a little good sports, and we'll be right back after this.
Adam Carolla
All right. And for our final clip today, we.
Gina Grad
Have Adam Colishau, 2280. Burt Reynolds, Billy Hayes, Adam Rifkin, Sally Sussman, Gina Grad, Brian Bishop, all in.
Adam Carolla
This episode as well.
Gina Grad
From 20.
Donald Faison
And the 11 is coming out in, like, November.
Gina Grad
So just hold out.
Adam Carolla
Can I just trade it then? And I was like, you're skipping phones.
Donald Faison
You're skipping from the 10 to the 11. That is.
Adam Carolla
That's just a layover, as your dad would say.
Donald Faison
Like.
Adam Carolla
You'Re pitching. You're simultaneously pitching. It's like saying, I'm looking at condos.
Donald Faison
But I'm thinking about a ranch.
Adam Carolla
And it's just going. And you're pitching your realtor on both.
Donald Faison
At the same time.
Adam Carolla
Like your realtor. Who's going to pay for it? I was like, first off, the 10.
Donald Faison
Has more computing power than the space shuttle and all of us put together. And I have the. I don't know what number mine is.
Adam Carolla
Because I can't do anything except for do that move where I hit the.
Donald Faison
Button and it faces and I see my own reflection and I look like a monster because I'm holding it like it's a drool tray. Underneath me.
Adam Carolla
I have no idea what. I don't know what the 10 won't.
Donald Faison
Do that the 11 won't do.
Adam Carolla
And it's far beyond her capabilities. Right. It's all just vanity. Right? Selfie machine. This is the first I'm hearing of an 11. I'm glad she told me. She found out that this is the next gen after the 10 is coming.
Donald Faison
Out, several months after she might get the 10.
Gina Grad
She'll be using between 5 and 10% of what it's capable of doing.
Adam Carolla
Oh yeah, I would say at best. At best. All right, let's see. Find out when that comes out.
Donald Faison
Maxpad. I'll be curious. Beachbody on demand online fitness streaming service. Unlimited access to a variety of effective world class workouts personalized to your needs, plus nutritional content. Gina? Yes. Piyo.
Adam Carolla
Piyo. I'm loving it. It's kind of hard, but it's super, super fun. It's a pilates yoga mix and it's called Piyo. And I'm loving it. Well, I didn't appreciate his work as a sheriff, but as a cardio fitness instructor. Pio. Gomer. Pio.
Donald Faison
Joe kicks some serious Joe or.
Adam Carolla
Yep.
Donald Faison
Gomer. How dare you.
Adam Carolla
How dare you misconstrued my humor.
Donald Faison
Convenient.
Adam Carolla
Don't do that. Don't do that.
Donald Faison
Convenient. Accessible on your computer, web enabled tv, tablet, smartphone, any of the web enabled dev devices. No need to go to the gym. Annual subscription is cheaper than the gym membership. Oh I'd say by long shot programs for any level of fitness. Cardio, weight training, yoga, Piyo, low impact and even dance. 600 different workouts. So right now my listeners get a free trial. How do you get your free trial membership? Well, what you do is you text Adam to 30. 30, 30.
Adam Carolla
That's Adam.
Donald Faison
And then three 30. You get full access. You get it all. Not the limited, the full access.
Adam Carolla
Try to out free.
Donald Faison
Just text the word Adam to 3030 30. Let's see. Adam Rifkin.
Eric Bana
Yes sir.
Donald Faison
What's next for you? And how was Chevy Chase? We've heard he can be temperamental.
Eric Bana
Well, I had heard the same rumors and I was worried about it. But it turned out that Chevy is a huge Burt Reynolds fan and had never met him. Thought he was the funniest guy in the world and so was just a dream to work with. The two of them together were hilarious. They got along great. They became good friends.
Donald Faison
Well, it's funny. Young Chevy is sort of in the Burt Reynolds mode. Big and dashing and self deprecating.
Eric Bana
Exactly.
Donald Faison
Sort of a Wink to the camera. Like, Burt would always.
Adam Carolla
Burt would do these moves, like in Smokey man, when he did, like a full burnout on a lawn. And then he'd stop the car and.
Donald Faison
He'D just look right at the camera.
Adam Carolla
And then just peel out again.
Donald Faison
Like, just the stuff that wasn't being.
Eric Bana
I was shocked that they had never crossed paths. I mean, they were both such big stars at the same time.
Donald Faison
Yeah. That's interesting how that goes.
Adam Carolla
Well, look at me.
Donald Faison
I'm a megastar, and I didn't know Burt Reynolds. I never met him either, so. Or maybe even Chevy Chase.
Adam Carolla
Jesus Christ.
Donald Faison
I would imagine it helps a lot as a director to have the guy who could be a little temperamental being a big fan of the other guy and not wanting to make a ruckus.
Eric Bana
It definitely worked in our favor. Favor on, on this movie. I mean, I, I, listen, I, I've been a big fan of Chevy Chase's as well, so I was excited to have him on the set. And, you know, I, you know, when I direct a movie, though, I'm. I'm so excited to just be there doing what I love to do, that. I, you know, I think that the atmosphere is pretty relaxed. You know, I'm happy, and I want everybody else to be having a good time and be happy. So I think they, they settled into that pretty quickly, you know.
Donald Faison
How's your dad, the ex pilot with the movies? Does he say things like, how are your little movies going?
Eric Bana
No, he's excited about.
Donald Faison
From the movie.
Eric Bana
I will tell you this, though. You'll get, you'll appreciate this. And it, it, it bespeaks the character of Captain Bud Rifkin.
Donald Faison
When I was that guy, when I.
Eric Bana
Was making my first film, it was a film called Never on Tuesday. And it had some good actors in, in small roles. Nicholas Cage was in it, Charlie Sheen was in it. A bunch of big young stars were in the film. We shot it out in the middle of the desert in Borrego Springs. Lot of cars, big crew. My dad came out to watch one day. He was watching us work, and he pulled me aside. He said, adam, I want to talk to you. I was in the middle of a huddle with the DP and the, and the, the first AD and just trying to get his shot set up. I said, dad, I'm working. He said, no, it's important. Come over here. I had to tell the whole crew. Wait a second, guys. I'll be right back. I stepped 20ft away with my dad, and he said, I just Want you to know I'm very proud of you. And he slipped a 20 in my hand.
Adam Carolla
Oh, my God. I see him. He's normal. I got his blow jobs. But then in this case, obviously, if.
Donald Faison
It was you wasn't looking for anything.
Adam Carolla
More than hand Adam, that's going to make you want to jerk the wheel off a cliff. I'm so proud of you. Here's a 20. I have this weird.
Donald Faison
I just talked to my mom last.
Adam Carolla
Night, and it's just such a.
Donald Faison
It's such a weird thing that Jimmy Kimmel is dead to everyone in my family.
Adam Carolla
Ever since he started hosting the Oscars.
Donald Faison
And got his own TV show, his own success. It's so weird. Weird. It's so weird.
Adam Carolla
And it's also.
Donald Faison
I don't know why maybe.
Adam Carolla
I don't know.
Donald Faison
Do you guys ever feel like you're.
Adam Carolla
You're. You're.
Donald Faison
You're being tortured? Like, like, like, like, like you, you, you.
Adam Carolla
You walk around hot, all like, oh.
Donald Faison
It'S so hot in this apartment again.
Adam Carolla
And your.
Donald Faison
And your roommate's, like, wearing a jean jacket and going, I'm fine.
Adam Carolla
Like, I don't get it. Like, if it's somehow. If there's another guy sweating next to you, going, oh, I didn't riddle. Then you're both miserable. But somehow, somehow it works. Jimmy Kimmel's parents are at every event.
Donald Faison
Every day, every time, hugging, hugging, kissing.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Adam.
Donald Faison
Oh, he's my boy. You know, Jimmy. Jimmy's.
Adam Carolla
Jimmy's dad writes me, like, emails that say, to my stepson Adam. You know, and like, stuff like that.
Donald Faison
When I see Joan, it's like it's nothing but kisses.
Adam Carolla
And it's.
Donald Faison
It's like I'm talking weddings, birthday parties, bachelor parties. Like there's ever. They're just always there.
Adam Carolla
They're at every party. Like, you know, there's those parties. We're like, well, we don't need them at this party.
Donald Faison
This is kind of the booze cool guy, adult nighttime party. Invite him to the Easter egg hunt.
Adam Carolla
You know, with the grandkids or whatever.
Donald Faison
They can look after the grandkids.
Adam Carolla
No, no, they're at everything. Hugs and kisses all the time. My parents are nowhere, ever. And they're much closer geographically than Jimmy's parents. So the point is, is I wish they were sort of absentee. Then it wouldn't draw such.
Gina Grad
It shines quite a light.
Adam Carolla
Quite a light.
Donald Faison
Quite a light.
Adam Carolla
Quite a light. Thanks, Captain. Quite a light, Captain Bud.
Donald Faison
Rex Kramer, Castrol Edge.
Adam Carolla
There's the light.
Donald Faison
I was thinking about viscosity breakdown, you know.
Brian Bishop
Oh, I'm sorry.
Donald Faison
Are we talking about smoothing smoothies?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. What about viscosity smoothies?
Donald Faison
When it's in the container and it's cold, it's thicker, right? Yeah. Now imagine how much harder you'd have to suck on that straw to pull it through. When it's cold and more dense and more viscous, it has to suck so much harder. But what if we took that papaya smoothie, you got a Panera and we just put it out in the sun for a couple hours.
Adam Carolla
Ooh.
Donald Faison
And it got so much thinner.
Adam Carolla
It'll get thinner and warmer.
Donald Faison
Then you'd suck it up and go through it. But it wouldn't have the protection that it would offer when it was thicker.
Adam Carolla
So how do you do it?
Donald Faison
That's where the full synthetic comes in. That's where Castrol edge comes in. Formulated with fluid titanium technology. 3 times. 3 times. 3 times.3 times stronger against viscosity breakdown than leading full synthetic. That's Castrol Edge. Madison Capitol theater. That is April 6th. One Man Show. Madison, Wisconsin. Come on out, man. We don't get out, get out that way that often. Santa Ana Esports arena. It's coming up April 21st. We're doing a live podcast there. Cleveland Agora Theater, May 17th. That's stand up. Royal Oak. And Detroit, May 18th and Aladdin One Man Show. Filming it for a stand up special. That's June 9th. More theater in Seattle. All kinds of stuff going on. So you go to ancarolla.com you should also go to a2450films.com and find out.
Adam Carolla
Where this movie, the last movie star, saw the trailer.
Donald Faison
Check out the trailer. Where should we check out the trailer? If you want to see the trailer?
Eric Bana
Well, you can check out the trailer on a24.com.
Adam Carolla
There you go.
Donald Faison
On demand and on video released coming up next Friday, March 30th.
Adam Carolla
All right, that is the British Coral classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for all new installment.
Gina Grad
Until then, model it and get it on.
Adam Carolla Show – Episode Summary: "Eric Bana + Burt Reynolds (Carolla Classics)" Release Date: May 9, 2025
Welcome to a special edition of Carolla Classics, where Adam Carolla revisits memorable moments from past episodes. In this episode, Adam delves into a previously aired segment featuring actor Donald Faison, comedian Alison Rosen, and media personality Brian Bishop. The discussion spans their early careers, personal lives, insights on parenting, and views on pop culture. Additionally, Adam incorporates current events and audience interactions, maintaining his signature humor and candidness throughout.
The conversation kicks off with Donald Faison and Alison Rosen sharing their backgrounds in acting, highlighting the influence of their parents’ involvement in theater.
Donald Faison discusses growing up in a family deeply rooted in the performing arts:
“I grew up in New York City. Started out at a theater in Harlem. My parents had a theater in Harlem.” [04:04]
Alison Rosen echoes a similar sentiment, emphasizing their shared experience:
“Ours was the National Blacker Theater 182, by the way... It was just family members.” [04:10]
Adam humorously interjects about the naming confusion of their parents' theater:
“National Black Herr Theater? That's bullshit.” [04:28]
Alison shares her initial foray into acting, mentioning her first commercial and the breakthrough role in the iconic movie Clueless.
Alison Rosen recounts:
“It was an Oatmeal Raisin Crisp commercial... And then there's a dry.” [06:50]
Adam Carolla adds a playful twist on Alison’s first role:
“I played the black guy in the commercial.” [06:52]
A significant portion of the discussion revolves around parenting, specifically raising twins at a young age.
Alison Rosen shares her experience of becoming a parent at 24 while still active in her acting career:
“Yeah, I was still doing Clueless when I had kids.” [07:56]
Adam Carolla empathizes, reflecting on his own experience with twins:
“I have twins, too. It's great... they're so wildly different.” [11:02]
They discuss the hectic nature of parenthood, sleep deprivation, and the dynamics of having both a boy and a girl twins:
“It's scary and crazy, right?... When daddy's gone, kid's running wild, he ain't listening to mama.” [08:02, 24:21]
The hosts engage in a lighthearted debate about their preferences between Star Wars and Star Trek, sharing opinions on various installments of the franchises.
Adam Carolla expresses his preference:
“He really does. I don't... bless the 'Star Trek' fans.” [12:05]
Alison Rosen concurs with the sentiment:
“But you like Star Trek, though. You don't love Star Trek.” [12:37]
They discuss the quality and reception of different Star Wars movies, comparing them to the enduring legacy of Star Trek:
“The best one's all right. The second one better.” [13:07]
The podcast transitions into a news segment where a mother publicly humiliates her teenage son to curb his criminal behavior. The hosts debate the effectiveness and morality of such extreme disciplinary measures.
Brian Bishop introduces the story about Dinesha Lacks forcing her son to stand with a sign declaring his misdeeds:
“...she decided he broke the law and they only gave him a few hours community service.” [21:07]
Adam Carolla humorously critiques the mother's approach:
“She's a great big fat person.” [22:07]
The hosts discuss broader themes of discipline, gender roles in parenting, and societal challenges in raising responsible youth:
“The kid has a visceral reaction to the sound of their dad's voice versus the sound of their mom's voice.” [24:01]
Adam leads a rant about the inefficiencies and inconveniences of everyday items like hospital gowns and soy sauce packets, using his comedic flair to highlight societal neglect in addressing minor issues.
Adam Carolla shares his exasperation with hospital gowns:
“It's same thing. I was complaining about everything... Why do we do this as a society?” [32:21]
He transitions to his dislike for soy sauce packets and other small annoyances:
“The same packet. It's not viscous. That shit goes airborne and becomes weaponized.” [34:01]
The hosts navigate the sensitive topic of using race and sexuality in comedy, debating the boundaries and potentials of humor in addressing personal identities.
Adam Carolla shares thoughts on being a black and gay comedian:
“I think we can figure out in comedy that if you're funny, that trumps everything, no matter what color you are or whose dick you suck or don't.” [66:45]
Alison Rosen and Brian Bishop contribute by sharing experiences and questioning the feasibility of transcending stereotypical comedic themes:
“I hate seeing a black person do that. That does not work.” [68:04]
The latter part of the episode features a discussion with Eric Bana, focusing on his experiences in the film industry, particularly his work on Black Hawk Down and the upcoming movie The Forgiven.
Eric Bana talks about working with Chevy Chase and Burt Reynolds, highlighting the positive and professional relationships:
“Chevy is a huge Burt Reynolds fan and had never met him... they got along great.” [131:03]
The conversation shifts to The Forgiven, discussing its release and Eric’s reflections on the filmmaking process:
“The Forgiven is in theaters. It's stirring, it's powerful. I watched a third of it even with no sound.” [84:39]
Paul Bryan shares his insights on the challenges faced during the production of Black Hawk Down and the dynamic of working in intense environments:
“We were shooting in Rabat, Morocco... constant risks and unexpected challenges.” [125:03]
A significant portion is dedicated to conversations about cars, restoration projects, and the hosts' passion for automotive engineering.
Donald Faison and Paul Bryan delve into details about specific car models, their features, and restoration experiences:
“It's a 408 Ford. So it's a Dart block, alloy headed, chi headed... about 600 horsepower.” [87:08]
They discuss the evolution of car engineering, expressing frustration with modern design compromises:
“We shrink the engine down and then we put a turbocharger on it... asking the engine to do more.” [88:30]
Adam Carolla humorously critiques modern automotive trends and fosters a light-hearted banter about car enthusiasts:
“We just have to smash it up.` [109:05]
The episode wraps up with promotional segments for upcoming shows, movies, and other projects, maintaining engagement with the audience through humor and anticipation.
Donald Faison promotes The Forgiven:
“The Forgiven is coming out this Friday, March 9th... It's on all digital platforms the following Friday.” [86:37]
The hosts encourage listeners to engage with their content through various platforms and upcoming events:
“Beachbody on Demand... text the word Adam to 3030 30.” [93:45]
Notable Quotes:
“If you have twins, especially one boy and one girl, they're so wildly different and little different parts of your brain lights up...” – Adam Carolla [11:03]
“The soy sauce. That's the worst fucking packet ever... We are so stupid.” – Adam Carolla [34:01]
“I think we can figure out in comedy that if you're funny, that trumps everything.” – Adam Carolla [66:45]
“Chevy is a huge Burt Reynolds fan and had never met him... they got along great.” – Eric Bana [131:03]
This episode of the Adam Carolla Show offers a blend of nostalgic revisitings with fresh discussions, providing listeners with both entertaining and thought-provoking content. Whether exploring the intricacies of parenting, the nuances of comedy, or the passion for automotive engineering, Adam and his guests deliver a comprehensive and engaging listening experience.