Erica Rhodes Shoots Her Shot at Pete Berg

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show: Erica Rhodes Shoots Her Shot at Pete Berg
Release Date: January 20, 2025

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1. Introduction and Guest Welcome

The episode kicks off with Adam Carolla introducing comedian Erica Rhodes as the guest. Erica returns to the studio with her characteristic humor and candidness, immediately addressing the somber news of director David Lynch's passing.

Erica Rhodes [01:25]:
"Yes. I'm so sad."
"Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks. That little monkey short that he directed. That somebody was amazing."

2. Reflections on David Lynch

Erica shares her admiration for David Lynch, highlighting his iconic works like Blue Velvet and Twin Peaks. Despite not having met Lynch personally, she expresses her respect for his unique and often unconventional storytelling style.

Erica Rhodes [02:36]:
"I love the Pretenders and I loved Chrissy Hines."

3. Theories on Dating Successful Men

A significant portion of the conversation delves into Erica's theories about dating successful and attractive men. She contemplates the rarity and challenges of forming meaningful relationships with high-profile individuals, using Pete Berg as a focal point.

Erica Rhodes [02:36]:
"I have a theory that there are two ways you can go through life. You can kind of present as able-bodied and take care of business, and here's how to do it. Or you can present as sort of Bob Dylan, you know, what?"
Jason Mayhem Miller [03:45]:
"You don't think that's ever happened? That a guy has met a woman, that he's like, I'm a big fan, and then they get married?"

4. Encounter with Pete Berg

Erica recounts her unique encounter with actor and director Pete Berg. At a Comedy Store event, she approached him after he inadvertently blocked her car, leading to an unexpected and humorous interaction.

Erica Rhodes [09:35]:
"You were like, how do I fix the TV? Because I'm trying to watch Netflix but nothing's working."
Erica Rhodes [10:02]:
"We were at the Comedy Store, and I was like, excuse me, you blocked my car in?"

5. Challenges of Modern Dating and Social Media

The discussion shifts to modern dating dynamics, particularly the use of direct messages (DMs) on social media platforms. Erica expresses her hesitance to "slide into someone's DMs," especially when reaching out to notable figures like Pete Berg.

Erica Rhodes [11:15]:
"Then he's like, she's desperate. No."
Erica Rhodes [12:32]:
"But you're a very attractive blonde, so it's always kind of in your hip pocket that you could just go up and meet this guy."

6. Life with Dr. Drew and Humorous Anecdotes

Erica humorously describes her time staying at Dr. Drew's house, navigating the quirks of household gadgets, like television remotes and space heaters. The interaction showcases her ability to find humor in everyday challenges.

Erica Rhodes [45:10]:
"Oh, that just happened."
Erica Rhodes [52:20]:
"It's revealed that the space heater popped the breaker, causing the TV to malfunction."

7. Commentary on California's Environmental Policies

The conversation takes a critical turn as Erica and Jason discuss California Governor Gavin Newsom's environmental initiatives. Erica voices her frustration with what she perceives as focus on trivial issues amidst significant crises like wildfires and homelessness.

Erica Rhodes [73:00]:
"Gavin Newsom... he's trying to make sure that the straw covers are safe, but everything else is just chaos."
Jason Mayhem Miller [75:03]:
"It's bottom up thinking, not top down thinking."

8. Humorous Takes on Pop Culture and Politics

Throughout the episode, Erica interjects with sharp, humorous observations on various topics, including pop culture icons like Betty White and societal issues. Her anecdotes provide comic relief while addressing serious subjects.

Erica Rhodes [90:34]:
"Why would you take a picture of that penis?"
Erica Rhodes [93:21]:
"She was just an old lady, not someone to worship."

9. Stand-Up Promotions and Closing Remarks

As the episode draws to a close, Erica promotes her upcoming stand-up shows and encourages listeners to check out her comedy website for more content. The hosts wrap up with final humorous exchanges, leaving listeners entertained and looking forward to future episodes.

Erica Rhodes [94:26]:
"I've seen her."
Erica Rhodes [95:16]:
"This is a paid advertisement."

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Notable Quotes

• Erica Rhodes [02:36]:
  "I have a theory that there are two ways you can go through life. You can kind of present as able-bodied and take care of business, and here's how to do it. Or you can present as sort of Bob Dylan, you know, what?"

• Erica Rhodes [11:15]:
  "Then he's like, she's desperate. No."

• Erica Rhodes [73:00]:
  "Gavin Newsom... he's trying to make sure that the straw covers are safe, but everything else is just chaos."

• Erica Rhodes [90:34]:
  "Why would you take a picture of that penis?"

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Conclusion

In this engaging episode, Erica Rhodes offers a blend of humor, personal insights, and sharp commentary on modern dating and societal issues. Her interactions with Pete Berg and Dr. Drew add a personal touch, while her critiques of California's policies provide thoughtful discourse. Listeners are treated to a lively conversation filled with laughter, relatable anecdotes, and Erica's unique perspective on navigating life and love.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Erica Rhodes]

Hey, in this episode, Erica Rhodes, very funny comedian's back in studio. Talk a little dating with her. Mayhem Miller's doing the news. We got all that right after this.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, comedian Erica Rhodes. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now, the man who wishes he lived in a state that knew how to cease fire, Adam Carolla.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah. Get it on. Got to get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Erica Rhodes, one of our favorites, back in studio grieving the loss of director, writer David Lynch.

Yes. I'm so sad.

Yeah. I have a controversial question to ask you.

Yes.

So David Lynch. Give us the thumbnail sketch of David Lynch.

Well, he's just an iconic director.

Blue Velvet.

Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks. That little monkey short that he directed. That somebody was amazing.

He did a lot of weird stuff. But you liked it.

I really liked him. Yeah.

Okay. And then so I overheard you say you never had a chance to meet him.

Yeah.

Which is fine. That's a good impulse.

Yeah.

And you may not be able to answer this.

Yes.

But you may a lot of women, attractive women, there is the outside chance that if you meet so and so big mega rock star or whatever, you could marry them. But what I'm saying is when I was 17, I liked the Pretenders and I liked Chrissy.

I love the Pretenders and I loved Chrissy Hines.

But I never had the thought that if I meet her, she's probably gonna think I'm hot and maybe we could hang out. I never thought that because I knew she wouldn't. You know what I mean? There are pretty countless stories about women going, I was a big fan of that guy, radio show or TV show or whatever. Then I heard he was doing a live show like in Orange County. I just went down there and we've been married for 11 years now. There's no version of me just Walk like, I'm going to the Bengals concert, see if I can bang some of those chicks.

You don't think that's ever happened? That a guy has met a woman, that he's like, I'm a big fan, and then they get married?

I. I will say this. I will never deal with. Never happens, because that happened. It definitely has happened. But what I'm saying, like, the dude who married Britney Spears, Sam Asghari or whatever, that guy definitely showed up with a shirt off at some point, and he knew what he was doing.

And Madonna, I think, too, Madonna may have.

It's doable.

Yeah.

But it's not as frequent. Is just so you're a very attractive blonde, so it's always kind of in your hip pocket that you could just go up and meet this guy and you could be talking, and then at some point he'd go, do you like appletinis? And you'd go, oh, yeah. And then that. You know what I mean? Like, we're off and running. I'm not talking about one night stand. I'm talking about, like, potential marriage. It's happened a lot.

That's weird. Like, I guess I don't really think like that. I just think. But maybe it's.

But you said, like, you didn't get a chance to meet him.

Well, but it's.

Which meant he could have asked you out on a date.

I guess so. But I guess I look at him as just like this sort of otherworldly person. Like, he doesn't seem grounded in reality, so I wouldn't even think of dating him. I would just think of being like, I really like your work.

Right. And those guys would be a nightmare to date.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right?

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah. I mean, I've dated a couple people like that, and they're not what you think they are.

Are those guys. Here's a theory.

Yeah.

I forged this theory. And by the way, Bob Uecker's dead, so. And I always had a feeling if I could meet Bob Uecker, maybe we could move in together. Because that makes such a great team, you know, talking sports, cracking wise, drinking Budweiser all day.

It could have happened.

Could have happened. Now it can't.

Yeah.

Where do you come down on this theory that I've only promoted through watching my own family members closely, especially my dad. I have a theory that there are two ways you can go through life. You can kind of present as able bodied and take care of business, and here's how to do it. Or you can present as sort of Bob Dylan, you know, What? I mean, like, I don't even know what. I don't even know what's going on. In which case they never get asked for. Can you give me a ride to the airport? Like, did anyone say to Bob Dylan his entire life, dude, can you help me move on Saturday? Do you have a truck now? It's like I have cigarettes and a motorcycle and I don't do anything.

Right. I just saw.

Do they cultivate it to be left?

Well, I think there's alone.

And they can cheat on you and they can do tons of shit and you can't really say anything. Cause that's who they are, you know, they're artist guys.

Yeah, I think they're kind of egomaniacs and it probably is on purpose so that they have this sort of protection where people can't reach them. Maybe.

Well, my dad presented as incompetent, so he would be left alone.

Right.

Interesting, because you get hit up. Like when you're competent and able bodied and stuff, you get hit up for loans. People want borrow money that they'll never pay back. But I mean, they want loans, they want you to do shit. Like, hey man, I got a business idea, but I'm a little short, but I just need a little seed money. They have ideas, they want you to.

Does this happen to you?

I've been asked by 25 people to write a foreword for their book. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, I'm flattered, but still, you have to do something, you know what I mean?

If someone asked Bob Dylan, you'd be like, yeah, man, I'll get around to it.

I don't think he'd be like, yeah, man, what's a book?

Yeah, yeah. He'd be like, do you need to write a book?

What is a book? And what if no one reads? Is it still a book, man? Oh, hold on, that reminds me of a song. Can I use your book to write some lyrics down that no one's gonna read and then you just kind of leave them alone?

Yeah, yeah, it's probably true.

These guys, these artist guys you dated.

Yeah.

Were they really artists or were they just kind of. I mean, there may have been artists, but were they also trying to be left alone?

Probably, yeah. Like one guy I dated was like, you probably think I'm insane. And then I was like, yeah. And then I realized he wanted me to say that.

Right?

You know, he wanted me to be like, yeah, you're so insane, I can't figure you out. You're so unique and special.

How did this guy present. Was he like a. Was he a musician? Was he a comic? That was a comic comic. And I don't mind quirky and weird. I don't like cultivated quirky and weird. Like, where they know what they're doing.

Yeah. I think he was a bit manipulative with his weirdness. A bit like, you can't. I'm such a genius. Nobody understands me. Yeah, that kind of thing.

Yeah.

I'm sort of above everybody else.

Mm. But he will be maybe not recognized in his lifetime, but at some point, he will be hailed as a genius. You know, like Picasso or something. I think he's been kind of Van Gogh.

He's been kind of recognized.

Oh, he has been recognized.

Yeah.

Is it genius?

Well, just as a good comedian.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So you got him when he was a little bit green?

Not really.

Well, what I mean is, he wasn't flourishing under your tutelage?

No, no. Well, not because of me.

No, no, no.

But he was successful.

He was, yeah. Yeah. But now he's very successful.

Yeah, pretty successful. But, I mean, I met him when he was successful.

Oh, okay.

I met him. Like, what you were saying, the David lynch thing.

You met him that way?

Kinda, yeah.

You were attracted to him?

Yeah.

And you were like, I'll go to see the show?

Well, no, I was somewhere where he blocked my car in. So I had to go up to him and be like, you blocked my car in and I can't get my car out?

You were like, at Chipotle?

No, at a Comedy Store.

Oh, I see.

We were at the Comedy Store, and I was like, excuse me, you blocked my car in?

But did you go to the Comedy Store to see him?

No, I was. Just happened to be there. Yeah.

Okay. All right.

Sort of a long story, but I sort of ran into him.

And then the Comedy Store waves everyone in off of Sunset, and they just sort of stack up the cars, and you finish your set, you walk out there, there's three people park behind you.

Right, right. Yeah. So I went right up to him, and I was like, I think you blocked my car in.

Mm.

And then we sort of met that way.

Did he say something? Cause that's. You only have a moment at that point.

Um, well, we had talked. We had met before that, but, like, not really. Kind of just like online. Oh, online, yeah.

Oh.

Lot of that going around a little bit sometimes.

Mm.

My friend told me that I had a crush on someone recently, and she's like, just slide into his DMs and be like. And I'm a fan. And I was like, I've never done that. But she's like, what do you have to lose? Just go and tell him you like him or ask him if he's single. That's what she said. And I was like, what? Yeah, but isn't that a little. That's a little creepy to just slide into a. You know, like, if you're a woman. That's weird, I think.

Okay, well, let me explain how the male wiring works.

Yeah. Then she's like. Then he's like, she's desperate. No.

Okay, I'm explaining.

Okay, thank you.

I'm mansplaining.

Yeah. Mansplain men, please.

I'm gonna mansplain men.

Okay.

We do not have a rigid set of rules. Like, maybe women do. We are much more malleable. So I'll give you an example. If we hear some story about some Floridian teacher having sex with her students, we do not immediately judge. We say, let me see what she looks like.

Oh, my God.

You see? And then we'll base our opinion on what she looks like.

Right.

Because you may just see sex with underage boys, and you may just be hearing about a crime.

Yes.

So we are sort of like us. It's like us going, I arson. And we go, I want to see a picture of what burnt down.

Right.

If it was a shit shack. Good.

Yes.

Gone. But if it was a beautiful architectural piece of engineering, then we're pissed. You know what I mean? So we want to figure it out for us.

I see. And so you think women are more simplistic with their judgment.

Well. So you go, oh, is it a little bit forward if somebody slides in your DM and asks you if you're single? Right. Okay. So if Sofia Vergaro slides into my DMs and asks if I'm single, then I don't have an issue with it.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

But then if. Let's say there are others, we won't call anybody's names out. But then there might be others where you'd go, oh, that's unattractive. You know, so will we do it case to case?

Interesting. So that's kind of what my friend said. She was like, why? You know, you just like.

So if Lena Dunham slid. I don't know that she can quietly slide into a dm. I think you're gonna hear her coming down the hall. Don't you feel like, fee five, I'm sliding in your DMs.

I feel like she would do that, though. Like, I feel like she would be fearless.

She would go head first.

Yeah.

Barefoot.

She'd be like, wanna have sex?

Stomping down the hall.

Wanna have sex right now.

Right. Or she might inform you, we already had sex. Live with it. Deal with it, bro.

And for me, being forward is like, hi.

Hi. Right. Okay. So this guy sees you, he's gonna think of it differently than he might think of some others. Because you're attractive, you're blonde, and you have a certain way about you that's a sort of delightful way.

So I would say, you think it's okay.

He would be good at this.

So then here's another question. I think women judge success a little bit more in terms of, oh, I'm on their level of success or I'm not on their level. Whereas I think men are more open to dating a woman that's not maybe in their, you know, bracket of financial security. Right. Cause sometimes I get insecure. Cause I'm like, I'm still struggling, you know?

I mean, listen, Tiger woods married his nanny or the babysitter, whoever that chick was. Right?

Right? Yeah.

I mean, it wasn't his nanny, but she was a nanny.

Right.

So look, Ivan, I don't know what bracket you're in as a nanny, but.

A little above nanny.

You're above nanny. Yeah. Yeah. You're below Doula, for instance, in Auper, but you're above nanny, but below Gardner and Maid, but somewhere.

And below Sofia Vergara.

Oh, we're all just living in her shadow. Get used to it, baby. No. Well, first off, I want to thank. I don't know if it's the fires or I don't know if I'm off my rhythm. I'm not watching Entertainment Tonight or TMZ or whatever.

Yeah.

This is the longest I've ever been without hearing Sofia Vergara weigh in on something and saying something. Fucking Richard. I'm on day 17 of not hearing Sofia Rugaro talk about something in a retarded fashion.

I'm sure she is saying something about.

The fact I missed it. I missed it. But anyway. And beauty comes from within, according to her as well. And the double D's, oh, my God. Don't hurt. But okay, so wait, what was I saying? So Tiger woods, you know, arguably the most successful athlete of all time, marries a woman who works as a nanny.

Right.

So we're able to dip down a little bracket wise, like financially, if a chick looks like her.

So you don't think there's some men that Are like, I'm only gonna date a model. Like, supermodel. No, I think some men are like that, where they're like, I'm only gonna date, like, a hot tan model.

No, you could work at a waffle House and look like a supermodel, and we would d. But.

Okay, but you're saying they still have to look like that.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

No, you. You have to look more like that.

If you work at the waffle house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

The lower the income, the hotter you have to be.

Right, Right.

And then there's some version of this. Some, like, James Brolin, Barbra Streisand version of this where it's like, well, she is Barbra Streisand. You know, she's got a fucking pretty nice spread. Probably used to have a spread in Malibu with underground shopping mall.

Wow.

You know what I mean? Like, Brolin took a look at that and was like, all right.

That's probably harder, though, for, like, very successful women to find a match.

Well, she got the pretty boy Brolin in this equation. So if you're. If you're James Brolin.

I forget what he looks like. I can't, like, picture him good looking. Okay. Yeah. And they're still married.

Still married.

Oh, wow.

I don't know if their place burnt down in Malibu or not. Jim Brolin was, like, model y. I don't know. We can figure out this timeline. But before Selleck in the mustache, there was Brolin in the beard.

Okay.

Brolin had a beard when dudes didn't really have beards. And he made it work big time. James Brolin circa hotel, motel or whatever.

He's very handsome.

Yeah.

He has a nice smile, too.

Yeah. He has kind.

And he has good hair.

You should slide into his dm. She's not gonna live forever.

How old is he now? Like, 70?

Brolin could be 82 now or something.

Oh, yeah, no, I know him. He's a good actor, too.

That's what I'm saying. He's a good dude.

He's got that wink look, like he's always winking at you.

He's been on the show.

Yeah, he has.

Yeah. Yeah, he's a good dude.

Yeah, he looks like a good guy.

Good dude. But what I'm saying is, is Brolin's 84. Okay?

Whoa.

You either go. When you're James Brolin, either dip down to the model at the waffle Hut, or you pop up to Barbra Streisand.

Yeah, but she's attractive.

She's attractive, but she's not 31 year old model attractive. You know what I'm saying? But she's underground mall attractive.

Right? Yeah.

Understood.

Yes.

Okay.

Yeah. Just wanna make sure I'm getting it. I'm just still not sure whether I should slide into a DM or not.

Brolin.

Not with Brolin.

Slide into Brolin Steam.

It's another man.

Okay. Comedian.

No, he's a director.

Who. Who?

Should I just say it?

Yeah, just yell it out.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Erica Rhodes]

As the the same day.

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[Erica Rhodes]

His name's Peter Berg.

Oh, he's so sweet. I know Peter.

Doesn't he date mod? I bet he just dates models. I just love his. I love Friday Night Lights and I think he's handsome. You're like. Yeah, he's. He's trouble.

I. It makes me. I worry a little. A little about you.

Yeah. See that's my. But that's my type is when it's like a guy who's like, he looks like trouble, you know?

Uh huh.

So he probably is.

Listen, I would consider him a friend. I like Peter Berg. He's a good dude. I'm not really seeing the fit.

Yeah.

But I'd be, you know. He looks surprised. Well, I thought it was going to be some director. I never heard of that.

You thought I didn't know how big he was? But I mean I know Friday Night Lights is like one of the biggest.

Shows ever, but yeah, Pete Berg's a good dude.

My mom and I bonded over Friday Night Lights over Christmas. Cause we both hadn't seen it and we watched the whole thing in like seven days.

Oh, the series.

The show.

Yeah.

And then I looked at. And then we both had a crush on Tim Higgins. You know the character that I was like, he's a 19 year old for all ages. Cause my mom and I both were in love with him. And then I looked up the director for the whole show and I was like, oh, he's I think he's cute.

Well, let me bring you down to earth a little bit. Yeah, he wrote and directed the movie Battleship.

I didn't see that.

Did your mom see Battleship?

No, we're not gonna watch that because.

You would slow your Pete Berg roll if you saw. What do you think Battleship is on Rotten Tomatoes with the critics? Are we in the single digits here? We got.

You're trying to get rid of my crush. Is that what you're doing?

I have sparred Pete Berg in a boxing ring.

Really?

Yes. Mm. Who won? So I may still have some of his DNA on me.

Who won?

I don't.

You can't remember?

It wasn't real.

It wasn't real.

No. We were sparring, and all I remember is I hit him with a left hook and he said, why'd you do that? And I just said, put your hands up. You know what I mean? Like, you can't put your hands down. You get hit with the left hook. That's what we're doing. But so put your hands up, and then you won't get hit with the left hook. He's a good dude. I could.

You can't see it?

No, I can't see it, but I would like you kids to give it a try.

Really? But is he single?

This worked for Travis Kelce. You know, just mention somebody out of. Out of his league on a podcast.

And now I don't even have to slide into his DMs. He can actually see it.

We're gonna cut this for socials. You're all set. And then we'll DM it to him from R. Ken.

I'm so embarrassed now.

Oh, no, he's. I. And I like you. I would think. I'd like to see this work. Really, I would.

But is he a player? Kinda.

There's a handful of Hollywood guys that are like, dudes, you know, and they almost play the role of a dude. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Well, that's what. But I liked that he didn't seem like a pussy guy. No, he looks like a man.

He is.

Yeah.

Mm. Yeah.

You're like a guy who's protecting your friend, who you're like, he was in a movie.

He's an actor too, you know.

Yeah, I know.

He's.

Oh, he was in Friday Lights too.

He was in Great White Hope.

Oh, I didn't see that.

Or whatever. Yeah, Boxing movie. Oh, he dated Whitney Cummings. All right.

Well, she and I are, like, not at all alike, so maybe I'm not his type.

Yeah. But he dated her, so maybe he learned his lesson.

But I think he likes tall women. And I'm not sure you're tall.

Ish.

I'm tall in heels.

But he's not a tall man.

Oh, he's not. He reads as tall.

Well, that's in your fantasies. He's eight foot tall and rides a stallion.

I think he's six foot. At least six feet.

I could figure it out. Yeah, I'd have him at six foot.

Yeah.

I mean, but I don't consider that tall. I just don't consider it short. It's a right in there.

I thought six feet was tall for a man.

No, in Japan.

Well, how tall are you?

Six two.

Okay, that's tall.

No. Oh, says six one. All right, that's good.

Six one.

That's good.

Okay.

All right. Wanna take a guess on Battleship? Rotten tomatoes score?

22%.

There was a black guy in the lead who was like, missing limbs. And you can always tack on a couple of points if they have some good theme, like chicks that kick ass. You can buy a couple of points. Black guys who are amputees fighting or still kicking alien ass will help a little bit. So you're right. It's minus that you may be 11, but it's 11. No, no, I'm saying minus. I don't know. It is. I'm going to critic score.

What do you think?

All right, I'm going 14. I'm 34.

I'm closer.

You did. You did good. And the people out of it, 54. So that's not bad.

34 is not that bad. Yeah, it's not that bad.

The last time I talked to Pete, or one of the last times I talked to him, he was riding Battleship. And I.

Well, he just came out with a new show too, that I haven't seen yet. It's like American. Something American, huh?

He's prolific. Let me ask you this. I talked to him and I said, where you at? And he said, I'm on a boat.

Yeah.

And I said, what are you doing? And he goes, I'm riding battleship on a boat. Yeah.

Okay.

But I thought. I mean, maybe that's part of his process, you know, I think for him he needed to be at sea to write.

He's probably not very available. It sounds like he's a workhorse.

He may be married to his job.

Yeah, I do.

But you're busy too.

Yeah, I work a lot.

I do want to say this, and one thing I've never been able to figure out. The movie Battleship had nothing to do with the game Battleship, but they had to clear it from like Hasbro or something, which I don't. I never really figured out. Like, Barbie was Barbie and it was like a live adaptation of it, but it was still Barbie and the Barbie Corvette and the Dream House and the outfits. And they just went, hey, Mattel, we're licensing Barbie and we're gonna do a movie about Barbie. But then they did the same thing about Battleship, except for it didn't have anything to do with Battleship. Other way around, they did a deal, Mattel did a deal with the studio to produce X amount of films based on Mattel toys, Battleship, Barbie, et cetera. Uh huh. All right, And Barbie was Barbie, but Battleship was not Battleship. They were fighting aliens.

They were fighting aliens.

You didn't see Battleship and you want to date Pete Berg and Tim Riggins is in it too.

Tim Higgins Riggins or Higgins Riggins? Riggins. Okay. He's in everything. I mean, I have a crush on him too, but he's more like an actor type, and I feel like that's dangerous. You know, they're all players, but a director is more like behind the scenes. You know, he's more like cerebral.

Mm. Okay.

That's what I was thinking.

I'm just saying, if you think you're going out with Pete Berg without an encyclopedic understanding of the movie Battleship, I don't see that dinner going well.

Sweetheart, you think he wants to just talk about Battleship?

That's all he's gonna talk about.

What about Friday Night Lights? We can't talk about that.

He may dabble, but he's going right back to Battleship. Yes. You better learn everything about Battleship.

No, I'm not talking about Battleship.

All right, well, good luck.

Sorry.

You'll be paying for your own entree.

All right, my phone.

Let me tell you about.

It's a sign.

Let me tell you something that's funny. Okay, now, I don't know. I'm gonna ask, is this on me or not?

What?

I was. I have an extra ticket to a UFC fight. So I. Somebody said, talking about DMs and crushes, you know, somebody said, well, why don't you ask Kevin Costner to go with you to the fight?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Erica Rhodes]

And I just think how I always think, like, oh, he doesn't want to go to a fight. Like, what is he gonna do? He's gonna. He's gonna get angry.

Yeah, that's what I would assume.

I would get him angry. But then someone will go, well, you're friends with him. And go to the fight with him. Why not?

Right?

And I go, you know, that's why he always says to leave him alone.

Right.

It was my default setting. But then I thought, you know, let's go through life that way. Leave him alone. You know?

Right.

So I sent him a text right before this, and I sent him a text, and I just went, hey, I got a couple of VIP tickets to the fight. You want to go? And then he just wrote back in Vegas. Just in Vegas, period.

He's in Vegas.

That's all he wrote back in Vegas. And then I wrote. Then I did the stupid. Shouldn't have asked. He's in Vegas. Leave him alone. So I just went, okay, next time. And then he went, no, dumbo, where's the fight in Vegas?

Oh, he didn't put a question mark.

He didn't put the question mark by it.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, so.

So you said what?

I said, it's at the new Clippers center, like, wherever it is. We went back and forth. A little sun volleyball game, something, something, not sure. And here we are. But the point is, is. Yeah. Now my reading, my comprehension, my spelling and my punctuation is all bad. So I always blame myself.

Right.

But in Vegas, needed to have a question mark on it.

Right?

Also, I just got back from Vegas, so I'm like, oh, I want to go. I was just in Vegas. You know?

But then.

That's stupid.

No, it's confusing to not say Vegas.

Yeah, that's on him.

Yeah.

All right.

But then how did it end?

I don't know. I came into the studio, I was like. I just.

Oh, that just happened.

That just happened.

So you don't know if he's coming or not?

Don't know. I said, think about it.

Sounded like he was interested.

Slid in my dm.

All right, that's not a dm slide. You had his number. That was like a. Oh, yeah, that was a text slide.

That's a text slide.

Yeah.

Better.

Yeah. Hey, it has more clout if you text someone.

You know who may be in my phone.

Who? Peter Berg.

One Peter Berg.

I can't believe I said who it was.

I mean, he may. I haven't called him in a while, but we have talked a few times.

Oh, my God.

He may be in there. I mean, listen, I'm one phone call away from Peter Berg.

Wow.

If that's something you want to explore.

I just don't think I'm his type. But maybe I'm also pulling what you're saying where you're like, Oh, I don't wanna bother the person.

I think most of that is just internalizing us. You know what I mean?

It's internal insecurity, maybe. Or I'll reject myself before someone can reject me. I'll just be like, I'm not in the bracket, or whatever.

Yeah, it's a weird. It's like a constant weird low grade. The other day I tried to drive into Malibu to get some socks. And we're driving down the canyon and there are cones all across the canyon. And some fire truck, but not a fire truck, but a support pickup truck with the LA Fire department or something pulled up and my girlfriend goes, well, go up there. Let's pull up and ask that guy what's going on with the getting back and the whatever. And then she goes, he probably knows you are. And I do the. He doesn't know. Okay, we'll pull up, roll the window down. He goes, hey, Corolla. And I was like, why? Okay. I don't want to be the person who assumes it, but why am I shooting it down before we roll the window down?

That's all.

But that's my.

I think it's maybe a protection thing. It's like if he doesn't recognize me, I might feel a little bit bad if I have hopes that he does recognize me or not.

I think it's just a weird default.

Setting of this security thing, I think. Yes.

All right, so, yeah, I can get hold of Pete Berg if you need me to. That's all I'm saying.

All right, well. But you are, like, you don't even see it happening. You were like, you don't have to watch battle shit.

No, I don't think he's good enough for you.

Oh, really?

How about that?

Oh, that's nice. Aw, Yeah, I didn't think it was going that way.

I thought you were like, no, that's my angle. He's not good enough for you.

Okay. Okay, well, maybe you could find someone good enough for me.

No, but I can tell you who's not good enough for you.

Okay. Is it because of his personality or.

Because of Battleship or it's amalgamation of.

No, he doesn't.

No, I don't. I don't. He doesn't. Okay.

Yeah. If you said, like, if there was someone else that.

No, like, let's put it. Let's see. Let me think of an analogy. Okay, My analogy is, like, if somebody said, you know what Conor McGregor's favorite drink is? And I'd go, what? And they'd go, an appletini. And I'd go, oh, I wouldn't have. I would have never. I mean, I don't mind appletinis.

Yeah.

I'm just. It doesn't.

It doesn't compute. You're like. That doesn't.

But now I think about it, okay. Have the appletini.

Right.

You know what I mean? But it wouldn't have been my guess.

Well, that is.

That's what you are. You're the appletini.

Yeah. Usually people don't think that I would go for who I go for, you know, because I like people with sort of character. I don't like. Like, pretty boy. You know? Like, I don't like a pretty boy or a guy who's just, you know.

Yeah. Yeah.

I don't. And I also don't like really nice guys. People think, oh, you should have a really nice guy. But I don't. I don't usually connect with really nice guys.

Sign a weakness.

Yeah. Or just, like, I get bored kind of bored, maybe.

Yeah.

It's a little boring.

Yeah.

They're too nice.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Nice is good, but for women, there's nothing interesting about it. It needs to be a little interesting. A little brooding is nice. Brooders, that's my whole thing. I was never a good brooder.

Really? No.

Not a good one.

You seem a little broody.

I'm broody.

You seem a little broody.

Yeah, I'm not. I. No, I'm not a good brooder. I'm just. And by the way, if I say that word one more time, I will never know the meaning of it as long as I live.

It sounds like such a weird word.

Brooder.

Sounds like a breeder, but brooder.

Or some sort of German fetish where you shit in coffee pots or something.

Oh, my God.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That guy's a brooder.

[Erica Rhodes]

He's a brooder.

He's a brother.

Yeah. I'm not. No, I'm not. Oh, no, I'm not a brooder. I'm just not always interested in exactly what everyone is saying when they're saying it.

Yeah, but that's a form of not. Like, you're not. I wouldn't call you, like, super. You're not people pleaser y. Or anything you want.

Like, I don't know why, but the part of life where you go, hey, hey. And we both yell hey, as long as we can, as loud as we can at each other, and then at some point, you leave and I talk shit about you.

I just.

That part bothers me.

I sometimes do that, and then I hate myself after.

Good. You should hate yourself for fake. I hate fake. Nice.

Yeah, I know. I think it's so ingrained in me because I was brought up by my mom's Midwestern, you know, So I have that fake knife.

Ah.

Yeah. But then later I'm like, oh, that didn't feel real.

There's people who can pull it off, but too much hay, too loud, too faint.

No, I get that.

Okay, so I'm a brood over here.

Yeah.

We don't like that mayhem is here. So I think what we'll do.

Keep waiting.

I got some news. I also got. I'm staying at Dr. Drew's house.

Oh, where does he live?

He told me not to tell you. He knows you're pretty desperate for a dude with some cash, and he's. He just. I didn't want to say it on. I wasn't gonna say it on the air, but if you're gonna ask, I just have to say it. He don't want you sliding into his DMs.

I'm not gonna slide into everyone's DMs.

Okay, why don't you save us time and tell us who you think isn't cute? Okay, let's just save time.

Isn't Dr. Drew married?

Yeah, he's married.

Yeah. See, I can't. I couldn't slide into his.

I was having coffee with him in his living room today. Just him in my bathrobe and slippers.

Aw.

Walked in from the guest house, and his gardener showed up. Then that's all I'm gonna say. I'll tell you the rest. Oh, also, Erica's got live dates everywhere. You're traveling all over the place, right?

Yeah, I'm going to Bermuda next week for. Just for laughs.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't have that on the list. I got Grand Rapids, Michigan. I got La Jolla, the Comedy Store. I got Tacoma, Wash. I got Spokane. Ericarodscomedy.com is where you go. Very funny. Stand up. I've seen her.

Aw, thanks.

Do stand up on more than one occasion. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll get mayhem in here. We'll do some news. I'll tell you the Gardner story.

Yes. Can't wait for this.

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

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[Dawson]

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[Erica Rhodes]

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[Dawson]

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[Erica Rhodes]

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I am still looking for love, but it's hard. You know, I just got my heart broken for the 15th time by the same guy, but he was successful and I think at first that sounds fun, you know to date a successful guy, like a guy with money. The problem is, I found out they don't always give you the money.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Erica Rhodes is on the Adam Carolla show.

[Erica Rhodes]

Mayhem.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That bit goes on too. That's a great bit.

[Erica Rhodes]

It is a great bit.

It is true. They don't give you the money.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You really explored it.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah, I will. I'll give you the Reader's Digest version of this. I'll get in more detail later on because Mayhem's here, he's got the news and all so and so forth, but I was sitting drinking coffee with Dr. Drew this morning and his gardener showed up in his backyard. And we were just sitting in the back of the house. I was just sort of watching these guys and out came the leaf blower at 8:30 in the morning. And I was like, oh, this is destroyed. Guy had an electric leaf blower. Quiet and fine. Wow. He had an electric leaf blower.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We had the technology.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yes. It was an industrial strength one. It wasn't like sort of cheap home 20 volt, whatever battery you'd use on a cordless drill. It was a bigger, more industrial version, but it was electric. It was so much more pleasant than the gas ones. And I'm like, why doesn't LA just have a program where all the gardeners turn in their gas powered leaf blowers and we will provide them with an electric leaf blower? Considering what we spend money on in this city, it would be nothing. We've been talking about this for 25 years. It's totally doable. I don't know anyone who'd be against it. And it's insane that we still have these filthy machines spitting out all these.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I thought there was a mandate. I thought it was a mandate.

[Erica Rhodes]

I thought, oh, no, it's a law.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's a law. It is a law that doesn't get enforced.

[Erica Rhodes]

Doesn't get enforced.

Oh really? Are they just more expensive? Is that why people don't want.

I think so. They're more expensive and they're probably not as efficient, but it's sort of like saying, well, you couldn't have an electric car 10 years ago, but sort of now you can, you know, you couldn't have an electric leaf blower probably 10 years ago, but now you can and the city should facilitate it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I just see Dr. Drew on the phone with this guy. Listen, compadre, gotta bring the electric ones. Corolla's in the house here. He is gonna have a meltdown if he sees one two stroke engine in this backyard.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah, two strokes.

What's it like rooming with Dr. Drew? Are you guys getting along?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's like a buddy comedy.

[Erica Rhodes]

What the hell is this?

I'm picturing you in the robe and you guys. Corolla.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Escape the wildfire narrowly. Dr. Drew.

[Erica Rhodes]

Dr. Drew brought him in.

I love hanging around and talking to Dr. Drew in an immense amount because Dr. Drew is very interested in the human condition and everyone else is just sort of talking in their head or something and he's like, wants to know what motivates people and what's going on. And I have always been interested in that subject. And so he and I have these long conversations about sort of humans and motivation and things like that. And I always enjoy it. I always have. Some people are really good to talk to, except for you won't know it if you're not a person that's capable of having that conversation with them. So it's sort of like a really good cognac. If you give it to a nine year old, they'll just spit it out. They'll be like, I want hi C or yoo hoo, something good. You know what I mean? Because they can't appreciate it.

You know what I mean?

But I've always been able to appreciate it. So I've always had great conversation with Drew and now I do it in my slippers, my bathrobe. And to really give it gravitas, I hold the mug with two hands. Yeah, I was gonna ask what kind of mug a two handed mug grab means you're having a. We're having a moment here. You know what I mean?

Is one of those big mugs that he has.

It's nice you go over size because it validates the two hands.

Yes.

You know what I mean? And it really means we're having a moment.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What was that waiter's name? That's a John Luke.

[Erica Rhodes]

That's right. That is a coffee commercial.

It does feel really. It does feel very precious. You're like, it doesn't really work with the water glass.

Yeah. And all his. All his mugs have his face on it from his TV shows.

Oh my God.

He's got a lot of mug swagger.

Funnier.

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This guy's just stealing merch from himself.

[Erica Rhodes]

I know. He's got mugs. It's got. Says Dr. True has got to be nice.

Did he just take you guys in or did he take.

There's some El Salvadorians that are with us as well.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And what's the animal situation around it? The doctor. Dr. Drew have a cat, dog, Salvadorians.

[Erica Rhodes]

Dr. Drew, we don't talk because there's a language barrier.

But they're there.

Well, they can't get in the main house. They're out in the pool. We're in the pool house with us, you know. But I'm let into the main house to do the two handed mug hold. Drew's got a like half blind, 15 year old, fat little something dog.

Oh, I'm glad. That was gonna be a dog, not a person.

No. And his daughter, you know, And I came in yesterday and he wasn't there. So the dog was barking at me, but I just kind of.

You just ignore the dog?

Yeah, I just kind of ignored the dog and then. Yeah. So Dr. Drew's up. He's doing his thing, but yeah. I was able to hang out in this living room with the two handed mug grab today.

While you were texting Kevin Costner.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Erica Rhodes]

Were you texting him there or were you texting him when you left?

I went and checked my phone. I got an update.

You got an update? So you were like, sorry, Dr. Drew, I got other business in the other room.

I don't know what happened, but somehow his assistant got in on this.

Oh.

And says it's his birthday.

Kevin Costner?

Yeah. And you gotta do this. Oh, that's all I got.

Eyes. Okay. So she lives there too.

I don't know enough to know how she got in on this conversation, but.

Was she there or was she just talking on the phone?

She just. I just went in the next room and opened my phone and she gave a text.

Okay.

So I don't know how she got looped in. Wow. I want to figure this out.

Interesting.

Yeah, I know.

He overheard and then told her, and.

Then I don't know. I don't know anything, but I'll figure it out.

Okay.

That's what I'm saying.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The whole pool house is wired, you know, up and down. You got.

[Erica Rhodes]

Are you gonna have like a movie night tonight? Like, you guys hang out at night or with Drew?

Yeah, Popcorn Drew. Let's see. Drew goes to bed like at like nine.

Oh, my God.

I know. It gets up early.

When do you go to bed?

Well, now, I mean, I have no TV that I can watch, so what am I supposed to do? Read Y. Huh?

You're supposed to never eat at night.

No, it helps your brain. All I do is I sit there and I go, I can't watch tmz. I can't watch Sports Center. I don't know what the fuck's going on with Sofia Vergara. It's been 17 days. I don't know what's going on with her. I have no updates. I'm not good. See, most people like this, you either do your phone. If you're young, you got your phone, you get everything off your phone. Or you're old and you can read. Yeah, but I'm old and can't read.

Right? So it's all just tv.

It's all just tv. And it's stuff I can control. Right, But I can't control the tv. I can barely make it turn on.

Oh, man. So you're like on vacation. Basically.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You need a tramp.

[Erica Rhodes]

I don't like, I don't know what to do because there's nothing to do. It's 9:00. I can't control the TV set.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So wait, are you telling me that the thing that's holding you back right now is that you haven't figured out.

[Erica Rhodes]

The remotes at Drew's house?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Because I'm saying he has a tv.

[Erica Rhodes]

Drew, he had a TV in his guest house where I was. I stood over that goddamn thing for 40 minutes, you know, turning it on manually, turning the thing on, making noise.

You need a lesson in the remote.

I know. Well, Drew day, okay, Drew came out.

This is hilarious.

And he fired up the tv, okay, Fired it up. He got it going, and he got it on Netflix. You guys, tell me, tell me what you would do. Okay, he gets it on Netflix. Yes, it goes to Netflix. It goes to like a three part Jerry Springer doc. I love a doc. And I like Springer, you know? And I'm like, okay, okay, I got a doc, I got a Netflix doc. I got Jerry Springer I like. Springer's been on the show. I said, okay, I'm gonna do this. Do this. Well, while Drew was in the guest house, he plugged in a couple of space heaters.

Uh oh, uh oh. So that unplugged the tv.

The space heater popped the breaker.

Oh, no.

But it didn't pop it until after Drew was back in the house and up in his bedroom.

Oh, geez.

So now the TV's down and everything's down. So I go back around and I get the breaker fired up. Now I sit back down and I can't get the fucking TV to reboot.

You don't know how he did it.

I don't know how he did it. And I'm the worst. I'd be the worst house guest in the world if I walked back into the main house and told to get out of bed. And come get my TV back working again. So I have to sit there now, 45 minutes. I'm just standing there turning it on and off and trying to do the remote and doing the whole.

This didn't turn on again or it turned on, but you couldn't get Netflix.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Erica Rhodes]

To the people in a world of dry eye, there's a long lasting solution that can save the day. Presenting sustain complete preservative free. Its unique formula gives 8 hours of relief from the common symptoms of dry eye. So say goodbye to dry, tired, irritated, sore, burning, stinging and watery eyes. And say hello to multi symptom relief available in a store near you. Sustain complete. Open your eyes to lasting relief. I. I somehow surmised that I got it on, on the screen and I could hear Netflix, but I couldn't see Netflix. And now it's going in. See TV inputs off.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You got to fix that. I know, I diagnosed it. Fix the TV input because it's going through the surround sound. You got to get that thing.

[Erica Rhodes]

You might have to turn it on from the actual tv. Right? Like the screen.

Oh, I stood.

Oh yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. I did everything.

I think you're right. Something's unhooked.

Yeah, listen, you know what pamphlet? I just, I left it on and I walked away and I came back like 15 minutes later and it was on. I mean, it was back on. It was back on. I could find Netflix and I could do it.

So you can do it. It's a lot of work.

Can we agree on this? Can we agree on this?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Gotta warm up.

[Erica Rhodes]

This is hilarious.

Some stuff is immediate. You know, you hit it, it's immediate. Some stuff, you hit it, nothing happens. So then you hit it again, but you're just shutting it off now. It's like, I don't know this. You need to hit it and walk away for 10 minutes and then it would go on, but I kept shutting it on and off.

Is there one remote or are there two? Because sometimes there are two remotes and one you have to turn on and.

The other one, there was another remote, but it was for another heater that I was pointing at the TV set. The heater was going off.

Yeah, the heaters.

So I have Nothing to do. Because in my former life, that was the time I sat down and I just watched all my TV shows. And I know why.

Well, maybe it would be okay to ask him again for help before you go to bed now, since there's been so much.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Or make the full.

[Erica Rhodes]

Well, now, I got the TV work now. I think I figured the TV out.

Oh, you did?

It's Still A Life is Back.

Okay. You just don't want to watch on that tv Control.

I can't record. I can't rewind. I don't know what to do.

I see. Okay.

You know what I mean?

Well, maybe this is good for you, you know, to not have the TV for a few days.

Well, there's a. There's like a practical application. Like, I was in a hotel room and I was watching TV. I told you guys the other day, like, 5:30 in the morning, and some bitch came on to CNN and said something batshit crazy. And I was like, oh, what? Oh, no. What? What'd she say? What was that? It was like, gone. And then I came in here and I was like, joe, cnn. It's like, not on the Internet. And I was like, I would normally stop it and pause it and rewind it. I would tape it with my own phone. If someone said something crazy or whatever, it's just.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And you can't remember it off to the east?

[Erica Rhodes]

No. Well, Joe did. Took him two days, but he was fine. It was the congresswoman, who does not have Altadena in her district, saying that the fires were set intentionally because it was a historically black neighborhood.

Oh, my God.

And then started making accusations about the power being shut off and the alarm didn't go out fast enough. I'm like, okay, crazy bitch. Not everything is fucking. If a raccoon farts in the forest, it's not racism. It's just some things that just shit happens.

Yeah. That's insane.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Strange racism.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah, that's very.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah. So. All right, so we got some news. You got news?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I got news. Yeah, I got some strange news. It's really weird news day. Hold on, I'm just gonna tell you.

[Erica Rhodes]

Hold on. You know, a lot of people died.

What?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Damn.

[Erica Rhodes]

Well, Bob Bucher's dead.

Yeah. David lynch died. So sad. We were talking about earlier, though.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

God bless.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah. I was also telling you guys yesterday, we're trying to look for a standup thing of me and wise guys from, like, four years ago. Somebody brought up Gavin Newsome, and I just kept saying, fire, fire. Like on stage. It's weird.

Oh, my God.

Cause it's four years plus. I don't know, wise guys, Salt Lake City or Utah.

That's interesting.

I'll just play a minute of it.

Because I think it's funny. Yeah. Wow.

Lab lines. Gavin. Oh, Gavin Newsom.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Erica Rhodes]

It gets me angry. That's the best interview ever, right? Yeah. Gavin Newsom. Gavin Newsom. So I got a theory, because. Gavin Newsom. So California is, like, the only thing that is. The only thing in California that's not on fire are the homeless. It's like. It's just homeless people in fire. That's all there is. Four years ago, everyone is moving to Nashville, and they're moving to Texas. They're moving. Everyone's moving out of town. And his thing is like, okay, let me see. Ah. By 2035, no more internal combustion engines can be sold in the state of California. And you're like, okay, Gavin, the building's on fire. There's a pyramid of homeless people out front. Joe Rogan just went to Nashville. What are we doing? What are we doing here? Yeah, okay. All right. All right. Let's see. Okay, I got something that's going to fix this. No business with more than 18 employees shall have a boardroom that does not have a bicurious llama in it. A bicurious lama of color. Oh, my God. We're gonna need an owl. That's transitioning. The fucking state is on fire and we're broke. Okay, see what I got here.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

See what I got here.

[Erica Rhodes]

I'd like to reduce our carbon footprint. The fucking place is on fire. Our footprint is the size of Sasquatch wearing a waffle stomper.

Oh, my God.

Did I talk about that bicurus owl yet? Well, fresh out ideas.

Oh, my God.

You know what I realized? You know what I realized? This is real. Listen to this. Weird and a. Because it's the kind of stuff you would focus on if you were out of problems.

Yeah, right.

Like if you didn't have schools that were failing and taxes that were too high and you can't make payroll and everyone's out of money and there's no more unemployment checks coming in and everything is on fire and homeless and up. If you will all somehow be distracted by that. If you worked on the little. That makes no difference. So here's. Here's a good example. I'll give you an example. If you, like, met a couple, and you said to the guy, like, you just. You're at a restaurant, you know, and you said, the guy. What are you up to. You like to work around the house. And he's like, I'll tell you what I'm doing right now. I'm down in the garage. I'm doing all stainless steel cabinetry, all stainless steel camp trip going full Euro style hinge. I'm going to full extension accuride, slide ball bearing things in there. I got everything labeled. I got them all laid out. Everything's alphabetical. You would think, oh, I bet that guy's master bedroom looks pretty damn good, right? You wouldn't picture raccoons on his bed with a homeless guy taking a next to it, would you? That's what Gavin Newsome does to us. Yeah, yeah, I. I do think that's what he's done. Bizarre, inane things that don't make a difference to anyone living in his state and focuses on them as if we've now conquered every problem. Be like, you going, well, I'd like to. My son speaks Mandarin, but he doesn't speak Cantonese. And then you go, isn't your son a junkie? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah. He's shooting up right now in the hall closet. Right. All right. So I've always thought he does little weird things with like, I'm gonna make sure that the straw covers. Not only do we have paper straws, but also the COVID of the straw paper. And that gets in the ecosystem. And it's like. It's like homeless people everywhere, shit everywhere. And it's a. You're fucking raw sewage going in the bay because homeless guys are living in a fucking LA river and they're shitting into the creek. But you're talking to me about the straws. And so, like, if you thought to yourself, like, if you were going to visit a civilization and you didn't know anything about it, but it's like, what are they doing right? Well, right now they're trying to make sure that the straw covers are. You're like, oh, that must be safe as shit, that place, if they're down to that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, well, dude, it's fighting tomato cans. It's like cheap victories. It's stuff that he can control so he can go, oh, this is a win.

[Erica Rhodes]

Look, I fixed the straw problem, but I think it's. Yeah, I think it's more of like, sometimes you'll see like. Like really fat people talk about doing something with their hair or something and you'll go, I think I'm going with a chestnut color. And you're like, you need to lose 80 pounds. And then we can start talking about. Color your hair. Yeah, I think there's that. I think he likes. Because it sounds almost Utopian when we're dealing with, like, little miniature little problems.

And he acts like a trust fund kid. Like, that's kind of what he acts like. He's like, yeah, these are my problems.

The delta smelt is a fish that needs to be. Yeah, but if everything's on fire, then, yeah, maybe not. We'll just go with the fire first, and then we'll get down. It's funny. When I had. You know, it's a good poll. Joe or Dawson actually just popped in my head. You can. There's. There's Gavin on this show talking about the homeless, which always makes me laugh. But there is a clip. Dawson. I'm gonna have to scrub through it. Or Joe, which is. I said to him, I go, look, we got problems. And he goes, I like working small to big. And I remember thinking, oh, my God, that doesn't.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, it never did.

[Erica Rhodes]

That doesn't make sense at all. I want to talk about traffic. You want to talk about delta smelt and milk thistle, weeds. And I want to talk about bigger stuff. And he proudly announced that he liked to work small. Now, he's a sociopath, so he doesn't really know what he's saying. And he doesn't care.

He just likes a sound of it. It sounds like something.

It sounds like something. You go, oh, that guy gets me. He wants to work on the small stuff.

Yeah.

All right. All right. Now we got news. We're gonna do a little bit of a shorter show today. Cause of extenuating circumstances. So Dawson will find the small to big one. That'll make me laugh, or so will Joe. I gotta find the homeless, too, which that one we do have pulled aside because this is insane. And we'll take Rick. We'll do some news. We'll do it right after this. Morgan and Morgan. Life can be a little crazy sometimes. And one person's negligence can result in another person's settlement. Hopefully, that'll be you. If you're ever injured. You check out my good friends over at Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1,000 lawyers. They got more than $20 billion recovered from over 500,000 cases. That's right. They got a lot of clients, and they've recovered a lot over the years. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you a full and fair compensation for what you deserve going on the road. And Doing stand up every weekend can be difficult. At least I make it look hard. But submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is easy. It's Morgan and Morgan, right, Dawson?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople.com Adam or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone. That's f o r the people.com Adam or pound law pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement.

[Dawson]

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[Erica Rhodes]

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[Dawson]

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[Erica Rhodes]

Pay.

[Dawson]

Never.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Erica Rhodes]

Adam, I love your positivity through this tragic event that's going on in California right now. Longtime fan, but. But the thing that concerns me the most right now is after all the.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Fires are put out, the catastrophic mudslides.

[Erica Rhodes]

Are bound to happen. Thoughts on that?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah, there. Well, first off, listen, I get it. The fire happens and we're like, we don't have firefighting, fixed wing airplanes or helicopter. We don't have any of that. It's like we have more money than anybody. Like, every time Newsom brags, he goes, it's the fifth biggest economy in the world. It's like, all right, well, then act like it. Buy a fucking airplane, would you, please? Yeah, if they don't have motherfucking bulldozers on every goddamn corner when those rains start. Because PCH and the canyon and you cannot. You know what?

What?

I'm going amphibious. I get in a boat. Yeah, I gotta get a boat. I got it. I gotta get a Zodiac boat.

You mean so you can escape?

No, to get back once the rain.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Start, you gotta storm the beach.

[Erica Rhodes]

Like dudes who live in, like, Long beach and, you know, by the harbor marina and everything, I'm gonna have to hop in my Zodiac. I'm gonna have to swing by.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What zodiac? A dinghy.

[Erica Rhodes]

A Zodiac is like the military inflatable. What the.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, Navy SEALs.

[Erica Rhodes]

It's a Navy SEAL. I know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That was what it was called.

[Erica Rhodes]

I'm gonna have to hire Zodiac Uber.

Oh, my God.

He's gonna have to drive me in because PCH gonna be covered with mud. The canyon's gonna be. The line of cars is gonna go all the way back to Westwood. You'll never get it. You'll never get in. But if I go Zodiac, the Zodiac just slide right onto the beach.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah. So I'd ride on the beach, jump off. I do it at the Beach Club. I walk across the street, go up the hill.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You're going to want to wear a beanie and black the face out.

[Erica Rhodes]

Black the face out.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Slip in underneath the COVID of darkness.

[Erica Rhodes]

Huh.

Did some people evacuate on their boats from Malibu?

No.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah. And I could.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I could do Adam with a rowboat.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah, I'm gonna have to boat in.

So is that a real threat, the mudslide situation?

The mudslides, what follows? Because all the vegetation burns off, and then the mudslides. That's where we're at this time.

I think I wanna leave la.

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, man.

[Erica Rhodes]

All right. You got some news?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I got some news. Look, I was gonna. I have some funnier, like, lighter news, but since we're dumping on politicians already. Mayor Eric Adams blast critics of his $650 million plan to help New York City mentally ill and homeless. Yeah. He's biting back at the city comptroller and 2025 Democratic primary opponent Brad Lander, who slammed his ambitious initiative as half baked as he unveiled it to the State of the City address last week.

[Erica Rhodes]

That doesn't seem. Throwing money at homeless and insane people and drug addicts seems to be bottomless. Like, there's certain things you can kind of throw money at and right the ship, you know, you go, well, we got a bunch of potholes. You go, well, throw some money at it, and we'll fill those potholes. Like. You go, okay, that's a kind of one to one. And then there's the more nebulous stuff, which is like, the schools are failing, and you throw some money at it, it gets a little better, but not really. It goes more to the. Like, the teachers unions and stuff, but it might get a little better. Homeless just is a hamper with no bottom on it. Just keep throwing stuff. I wish him well.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I can't agree with you totally because I have seen actual. The hope of the Valley. I worked with this charity before where they have a contact team. Yeah. You can't help everyone. It's true. A lot of junkies are in their drug addiction, and they're just stuck out there forever. But there is a pathway up out of that, and there are certain charities out there that actually allocate that money, use it well. And I've seen guys go from street urchin to, like, normal dude with the job as a plumber.

[Erica Rhodes]

But is that from. Is that from the government, or is it from that individual charity?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes, the answer is yes, because no. Because if there's a lot of times guys get stuck in this, and there's no way about it, but as we always talk about on this show, there's a grift somewhere in the system.

[Erica Rhodes]

There are people out there who are just NGOs.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Erica Rhodes]

By the way, Eric, I want to know if that guy's available.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, he's available. Strong hands. Yeah. Sliding to his.

[Erica Rhodes]

He was a junkie, but now he's cleaned it up a little bit.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He fixed himself.

[Erica Rhodes]

He was cute. Yeah. So. All right, let me correct this. I have interviewed the guy who does tunnel to Towers, and that guy builds houses for disabled veterans. And 97% of the money he gets goes to the thing. And then they buy old apartment buildings and they retrofit them. I will give that guy the money for the homeless. That guy will fucking figure out these big NGOs and all these fucking organizations, and at some point, it's like, what happened to the $24 billion? It's gone. What do we got? I don't know. Yeah, it's like. Well, that. Okay, no to that. Yes to the private organization, the church or the group, or the tunnel. The Towers guy. I'll give him the money.

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's what happens, though. You're absolutely right. What happens Normally is those NGOs siphon most of the money off.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

To middle management.

[Erica Rhodes]

You have no idea where it's going. And they're probably not even getting the resources that they're claiming they're supposed to be getting.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. The safe haven law here in. In New York City. They're starting to build houses and try to end this homelessness in New York City, but it's taken a lot of flack.

[Erica Rhodes]

It's only families. It's only families that'll cure this. That'll be it. Oh, you have Newsom saying it's gonna look small. Great.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Here we go.

[Erica Rhodes]

Oh, this is good.

Start figuring, and then we'll go back. Sorry, I, like, start from the beginning. Stop, stop. Just start from the beginning. It's always still too fast. Well, here's all generational poverty. There's a lot of others in government. Start big and then we'll get down to the small stuff.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I like sweating the small stuff and.

[Erica Rhodes]

Then getting the big stuff.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think it's the opposite.

[Erica Rhodes]

It's bottom up thinking, not top down thinking. All right, I gotta tell you what, I'll tell you what. It's bottom up thinking, not top down thinking.

That doesn't even make sense.

My noise goes, we're gonna go from the bo Bottom up in the middle out. Okay. Guy whose junkie son is taking money from Ukraine. Okay, we'll listen to you about how to go from the guy who's never had a job in the private sector. So you're gonna build from the bottom up in the middle out. Which he just said all the time. It doesn't mean anything.

It doesn't mean anything.

Right. He likes bottom up thinking.

Bottom up, top down.

And he likes to start small. I told him government needs to go big. And then we'll get to the small stuff. Big would be like fire.

Yes.

Small would be miniature fish that nobody eats. That'll be small. Big will be fire.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Where's the.

[Erica Rhodes]

But he's got it from miniature fish nobody eats.

Yeah.

Up to fire. And he hasn't got to fire yet because he's worried about the miniature fish.

He's proud of it, too. It makes no sense. And he's like, no, this is the way I like to work.

Well, he's. Doesn't make any sense because.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Preening.

[Erica Rhodes]

I like that too.

I realized that. I learned it. I learned it. I've said this more than once, but it always. It's applicable here, which is like when I did crank anchors. I once called a place and I don't know what it was. My dad had. Needed his ashes or whatever the bit was. Anyway, I just. The person was like, I know it's a difficult time for you. And I was like, it's very difficult. And then at some point I go, no child should have to bury a parent. And they went, yeah, I know, I know. And I realized, all right, I'm just saying, shit. He has no idea what I'm saying. But I said it in a way. You know what I mean?

Yeah, that sounded.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We believed it.

[Erica Rhodes]

Like, it makes sense.

Yeah. I told him, work big to small. And he told me, no, no, I work small to big. I work. I'm a bottom up kind of person. Maybe just meant a bottom. Maybe it was a gay thing and I didn't understand it, but he was a bottom up dude. And it's like, okay, but that doesn't make any sense. And like I said, the milk thistle and the miniature fish, the Delta smelt is the small.

That's a real thing.

Yeah. And then fire is big. Aqueducts are big things. That's big and this is small. So I know I want to work big. This one. I want to work fire down to fish. Fire to fish, Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I grew up eating the Delta smell.

[Erica Rhodes]

You did? Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Not good. It's not good, but yeah. Poor people ate it.

[Erica Rhodes]

Where did you get it?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I lived close to the Delta. Pittsburgh. My family were fishermen in Pittsburgh, California.

[Erica Rhodes]

They were fishermen. Yeah. And they captured the delta smell. You can't fish for them. Right. You have to put by.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

By that time, by the time I ate them. I don't, I don't know how we got them, but they are poor people fish.

[Erica Rhodes]

Could you buy them at the store occasionally?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes, you could, but it was more. I think it was more of a specialty store. Like someone in the family would be like, I found smelt.

You made them endangered.

[Erica Rhodes]

How many times? And how would they, how would they prepare Delta?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay, so they're.

So they're gutted.

[Erica Rhodes]

They're gutted, but they're miniature.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Well, I think they have to be gutted because the other. The alternative is unthinkable. You put them on a baking sheet, cover them in olive oil and salt and pepper and garlic, and you like a sardine in the oven. Like a sardine. And then you grab it by the tail and you eat the whole damn thing, spine and all.

[Erica Rhodes]

Whoa.

You think so many guts they have.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, otherwise we ate the guts and I don't remember eating guts.

[Erica Rhodes]

I know, but once something gets small enough, like when you.

You might not know if you're eating the guts. They're so little Joe.

See if they clean Delta smell. Because I know.

Was that one of his things that.

He wanted to worry about, the Delta smell, you know?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

In 2014, California's overwhelmingly voted to build new dams. Guess how many new dams were built. Zero. Guess how many we destroyed?

[Erica Rhodes]

A lot.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

At least one.

[Erica Rhodes]

Wow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

For the Delta smelt.

[Erica Rhodes]

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. I mean, to be fair, he's an empty vessel, but he's controlled by environmentalists who. It's always Sierra Club. Yeah. It's unclear whether they like the environment or they hate people. I always think, I think it's hate people. To eat a Delta smelt. Most commonly, you would fry them whole, including the head and bones, after lightly coating them with flour, and eat them by grabbing the head. Grab the tail to pull off the backbone. Oh, you had to. You had to pull the head off and the backbone would come.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, we never did that.

[Erica Rhodes]

Once cooked. Many people enjoy the taste of the whole fish. You're eating guts. You're eating smelt guts, bro.

You could be on one of those wilderness shows where you have to survive in the wilderness.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The last time I probably ate them was when I was like 11 or 12 years old. And then they just made.

[Erica Rhodes]

I just couldn't do it anymore. Hold on. It keeps going though. You may be right. But you can also gut and bone them before cooking if preferred. Ensuring not to overcook them as they are a small fish. How big of a bone?

Like this?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We didn't bone them.

[Erica Rhodes]

About five inches.

That's big.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We didn't bone them. We ate the bones. Bones.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't know if we ate the guts or not, but I guess I wouldn't be surprised if we did.

[Erica Rhodes]

We ate a lot of stuff.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Nasty ass fish.

[Erica Rhodes]

Wow. Yeah. It's so funny because I'm from North Hollywood and I gotta deal with you and Mike August, who's the crawfish guy, you know, And I'm like, I'm from North Hollywood. We had lunchables, you know, we didn't have shit that came from a creek.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Actually, I brought delta smell smelt to school for lunch.

[Erica Rhodes]

Whoa.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes. In a baggie. In a sandwich. Baggie. And I ate smelt for school lunch.

[Erica Rhodes]

You couldn't even get bread and peanut butter jelly.

There used to be a sardine sandwich. It now gone the way of the. The dodo or the delta smell, but people used to have sardine sandwiches.

Oh, I hate sardines.

All right, sorry.

News.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Here's some more news. Here's some wacky news. I know you're sliding into DMs. You might want to get into this guy. Italian soccer team. Lazio fires the eagle mascot handler. Okay. This guy handled the mascot for photos of his prosthetic penis.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He put this on his private social media. He is the handler for the Lazio's bald eagle mascot. So the handler football team. I know this is.

[Erica Rhodes]

So you have a bald. It's an actual bald eagle.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

An actual bald eagle.

[Erica Rhodes]

He had to have a handler.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So he had private social media account. And he underwent surgery for a penile implant that was not for medical reasons. Okay. And he says, I had the surgery to increase my sexual performance. I'm assuming he said it with a nice Italian. I had the surgery to increase my sexual performance. And yeah, he told Her. Because I am very active.

[Erica Rhodes]

But he took pictures of his junk.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He took pictures of the junk and shared it online.

[Erica Rhodes]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean. I mean, I guess maybe I should admit now what I got out online, but this guy had his penis online, and now the fans shared it, and. And suddenly he's fired.

[Erica Rhodes]

Was there a pump involved?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't think it was a pump. It didn't say. And I didn't look too deep into penile implants because I don't want my algorithm throwing up.

[Erica Rhodes]

I talked to Larry. I talked to Larry Flint about this. You know who Larry Flint is?

I forget now.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Hustler magazine.

[Erica Rhodes]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cause there's a movie called the People versus Larry Flint.

So maybe. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah.

But Larry Flynn was in a wheelchair. Cause they tried to assassinate him.

Whoa.

And he was stuck in a wheelchair. A golden wheelchair.

Oh.

And he said he had a lot of sex, you know. And then I said to him, well, you know, you're in a wheelchair. Like, how does that work? And he said he got a pump involved.

Really? Oh, my God.

And the pumpkin. You know, where the pump is. Mayhem. The part you like. Yeah, I know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Reebok shoes. Yeah, yeah.

[Erica Rhodes]

Like a Reebok. Reebok shoe. Yeah. You know where it is?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Where?

[Erica Rhodes]

In his nuts at?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Perfect.

[Erica Rhodes]

And it just helps him get action.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, it gets all rocked up.

[Erica Rhodes]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But where's the release valve? In his hiney hole.

[Erica Rhodes]

You know what? I wish you were there with me when I interviewed him.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I would have definitely asked him.

[Erica Rhodes]

Oh, my God.

So he would give his. So I said to him, like, how many squeezes does it take to get going? You know, Because I didn't know it was a, you know, multiple. He said three.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Three.

[Erica Rhodes]

Hardy, efficient.

Oh, my God.

And he would just have a woman, and then he would go, sorry, gotta pump it up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Not, sorry, three pumps. They'll be right there. Quicker than any man you met.

[Erica Rhodes]

Wow. Interesting.

Yeah. And then after the show, we went out to his limousine, and he had, like, a driver, and they put him in the. They opened the trunk to put his. Collapse his wheelchair and put the wheelchair in the trunk. And in the trunk of this limo, he drove in, he had piles of porn in the back. And his guy got out, like, a stack of porn back when porn meant something. And he just handed me a pile of porn. And I was like, oh, thanks, man. Welcome back to my car. It was simpler times.

Yeah. Wow.

We have the video of the Italian guy. Penis implant.

I want to see the golden wheelchair. I want to see what that looks like.

He's in front of his doctor. He's with his doctor.

Oh, my God.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Come on, y'all.

[Erica Rhodes]

I don't want to see that. Yeah.

Sly News. No.

Why would you take a picture of that penis?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I gotta say, it looked pretty good, though.

[Erica Rhodes]

Not a bad guy.

It looked so big.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Probably a good gym, too.

[Erica Rhodes]

Come on. Watch this move. I don't know. It's about average. I don't know.

Like that view they did it from. Talk about bottom up.

Yeah, it's kind of delta smelting.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Kind of a Gavin Newsom.

[Erica Rhodes]

I'm a little more cod. You know, mean.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, here's the funny part, is that, yeah, that cost him his job, but he also was suspended in 2021 for performing a fascist salute. And check his admiration from Benito Mussolini. This guy sounds like a real dick.

[Erica Rhodes]

You cannot. Wow. All right, the fascist. But when you wrangle eagles, you have to give the fascist salute. That's how they know where to land.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Erica Rhodes]

Really?

You can put your hands in your pocket as an eagle wrangler. Where's the eagle going to land on your.

So they're constantly going like that.

They're constantly fascist saluting because that's how they know where to land.

But this guy cared more about the penis than his job.

Maybe he's looking for a perch. Perch is a type of fish, too. You eat perch, Kanita? No, perch.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He boned the perch.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah. All right, one more. Another story.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know, I mean, look, Sally Struthers was fat. Shamed by Betty White. Calls her a very passive aggressive woman.

[Erica Rhodes]

Oh, I like her.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Erica Rhodes]

She's funny.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

She is.

[Erica Rhodes]

She's in a lot of stuff.

I feel bad for her.

Why?

Because. Okay, what's wrong? She was in all in the Family, an iconic sitcom, and she was beloved, and then she was really ubiquitous because that's back when sitcoms. You knew everyone in the sitcom, and there were only like, four people or five people in the sitcom. And she. She was Archie's daughter, and she was on kind of the right side of all the subjects. Even though, if you really think about it, like, how new or old is this stuff? Like, really. Just break it down. Archie and I used to watch these sitcoms with my hippie mom, you know, and so Archie Bunker was the heat. You know what I mean? And there was, like, my mom. Look at that guy. And he was a buffoon, and he was sort of racist, but he was funny. He was whatever. Right? But he was the buffoon. He was the heel of the sitcom. And this sitcom is more than 50 years old now. Right, but you really. And the heroes of the sitcom were his wife, but it was also Meathead and it was his daughter as well. Right. And Rob Reiner, who kind of turned out to be that guy in real life was like sort of the hero who would constantly, you know, Archie would get his comeuppance at the end. Okay, but let's just break it down. There's only one person in that house that fucking had a job. His name was Archie Bunker. That guy got up and went to work every day. Meathead sat around in the spare bedroom and fucked his daughter all day. But Meathead never had a job. Right? Meathead didn't have a job. Glory didn't have a job. They were both adults. Rob Reiner was like starting to go bald like when they were filming. Like, Rob Reiner was a 20 something year old adult. She was a 20 something year old adult. And they would come downstairs and like meet, you know, Archie would come back and he'd be like, ah, long day at work. Like, Edith, is dinner ready? And they'd be like, Archie, you can't tell her to make you dinner. It's like you're fucking lounging in my house all day. And then he's coming down giving these speeches about people who don't have enough and everything else. He's working. You're fucking lounging. You got a couple of units over at the junior college and you're passing judgment on the guy who pays the bills and keeps the lights on. Why is he the bad guy in this equation? Aren't you loafing, you fucking loafer ass, Coming down and lecturing him every 10 minutes on politics from his house. Get your own fucking house. Pay your own fucking bills. How about that? And I realized that's kind of where it started. Like, why is Archie the bad guy in this equation? Oh, because he says Negro instead of African American. Okay, but he's the guy who works all day, pays taxes and keeps a roof over these loafers head everyone else sits around and complains and does nothing all day. Rob Reiner didn't have a job the whole five seasons they were there. He's a 20 something year old able bodied male who chooses not to work. But he does choose to lecture the guy he's freeloading off of.

Right?

So she was the. She was his wife's daughter. She was Archie's daughter and everyone loved her.

Yeah.

And then she slid out of everyone's DMs and stayed away from TV for a while and in the meantime put on a couple of pounds.

Uh huh.

And then came back in the form of someone who was trying to raise money for unicef. And so she'd come do these commercials like, these kids haven't eaten it. So why? Cause you stole all their food, fatty. Like, it's a poor woman. Everyone made fat jokes about her while she was trying to raise money for malnourished kids. They're making fat jokes about her. I know, right?

Yeah, but she has a good career now. She's like a character actress. Right?

I don't. I don't know.

She does me all the time.

We have.

I think she's doing fine.

All right, well, let's see.

And look at her cute dog. She has a cute dog.

Let's see. Well, let's see her. Oh, Betty White.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

She got bullied by Betty White. Yeah.

[Erica Rhodes]

Well, let me hear it. Did we have it?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Do we have it or.

[Erica Rhodes]

Oh yeah, play it. Go ahead. She asked her housekeeper to bring in a plate of whatever to us while we were all sitting and talking about what was working about the game show and what wasn't. And the plate was set in the middle and it was cookies, I think. So I reached for a cookie and she said in front of everyone, oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. You don't need a cookie. Oh my God.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Solid joke.

[Erica Rhodes]

Me in front of the rest of.

The people in the room. And I thought, gosh, that's not nice. Yeah, well, listen. I listen to the two gays who Sit Too Close Together podcast every day. Yeah, me too. And I. So I've heard this story. What the. Dude, you have the. What about the rest of the sofa? Do you not.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They're cuddled up for sure.

[Erica Rhodes]

You think you're on a roller coaster. Like, get the up, spread it out, spooning, surprise. Are like on top of each other on the sofa. All right, let me just tell you about old people. Old people say shit. They mean.

Yeah, I was thinking that too.

That.

That's an old lady remark, right to the point. That's like a grandma going, honey, you don't need that.

Yeah, right, right.

It's still cute.

And also, we need a little more honey, you don't need that. Like someone needs to say to people that are overweight, look at the. Probably don't need the cookie. It's not even one in the afternoon. Like, I'm fine with that. That's fine.

Yeah. And I think at a certain age you shouldn't have to censor yourself anymore. You're just tired. You're like, I just want to say what I want to say.

Yes, I'm going to. It's funny because you start off in life as sort of mouth of babes. You know, like kids say to fat kids will go, don't sit on that chair. You'll break it. You're so fat. They just say, you know what I mean? And then at some point, you take like 70 years off of saying what you think. And then your last three years, you say what you think. Like, it's the very beginning. It's like the diaper, you know, it's at the beginning, it's at the end.

Yeah. That's why they say only kids and old people are honest. Only honest people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Betty White. I did her game show. I did that game show.

Oh, really? Did you like her when you met her?

You know, I like her and I like Betty White. I do not feel that we have to adore Betty White. Like, people like, oh, Betty White, I love. You know, how do you know? Maybe she's racist when she gets drunk.

You know, you don't know who she is.

Like, I got like, betty White's fine, but we don't have to worship her. She was just fine.

She was just an old lady she.

Was in the business for.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

She cultivated a mystique of being that girl or lady.

[Erica Rhodes]

Yeah, she was the old lady of Holly. She was the main.

She was originally super funny in Mary Tyler Moore as Sue Anns.

Right.

And her character would be really sacchariny sweet and say horrible things.

So that's probably who she.

So that's kind of who she may have Ben. So Sue Ann Niven's character was really funny because she'd be all sunshiny and say horrible things. So maybe that translated. All right. We'll do a little shorter version of the show because there's just so much to get to today. Let me give some. Erica Rhodes plugs out. Lots of cities, lots of funny standup. Ericarodescomedy.com is where you go. I'm gonna be with Paul Rodriguez in covina at the Laugh Factory coming up Wednesday, Boca Raton, coming up at the Black Box Theater.

I was there recently.

Oh, you were? How was it?

It was fun. Yeah.

Naples coming up. Probably done off the hook there or.

Yeah, I didn't. I didn't make it there. I was supposed to.

Well, then off to Naples after that. That'll be January 31st, February 1st. Just go to ampco.com for all the live shows. Until next time, Adam from Mayhem and Erica Rhodes say Mahala. Pick up your phone and leave us.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

A voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the Ace man at Adamcola.com.

[Dawson]

Pluto TV is the place for movie.

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[Erica Rhodes]

Fans of freedom and open discussion. I'm heading over to Substack and there's an ad free audio and video version of the Adam Perolla show that's going to be waiting there in the near future. You'll even be able to watch ACS live unedited as we record it part participate in the show via live chat. That'll be coming up very soon. You also get an ad free version of the Adam Kroll and Dr. Drew show. You also get an exclusive to my new podcast, Beat it out, where I share unpolished ideas with my comedian buddies. The first series of episodes is going to be Jay Moore. You'll get all this and more for the low, low price of nine bucks a month, a pittance for all we're going to bring you. Subscribe [e-mail] substack and I'll see all of you in our new speakeasy called Substack.

[Dawson]

Pluto TV is the place for movie.

Fans like me and TV fans like me.

They've got something for everyone and it's totally free.

You can binge laugh out loud sitcom.

Like Frasier and rewatch cult classics like Higher Learning.

Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS.

Or Tracker, or curl up with a surefire hit like Forrest Gump.

[Erica Rhodes]

Run Forrest.

[Dawson]

Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows all for free.

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