Erik Griffin Auditions For “Baby Hating Airline Passenger”

Summary

Episode Summary: The Adam Carolla Show – "Erik Griffin Auditions For 'Baby Hating Airline Passenger'"
Release Date: December 10, 2024

In this lively and engaging episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla welcomes comedian Eric Griffin to discuss a variety of topical and humorous subjects. The episode seamlessly blends candid conversations, personal anecdotes, and skits, providing listeners with both entertainment and insightful commentary on everyday issues. Below is a detailed summary capturing all key points, discussions, insights, and conclusions from the episode.

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1. Introduction and Electric Cars [00:00 - 04:12]

The episode opens with Adam introducing comedian Eric Griffin, highlighting his arrival back in the studio with his trademark humor. A brief discussion touches on electric cars, specifically Eric's experience with his high-end electric vehicle.

• Notable Quote:
  Eric Griffin [03:02]: "It's great. I love it... but I do think there are a couple of things that for the amount of money you spend for this car, it's the little things I think they should work on."

2. Batmobiles, Social Perceptions, and Celebrity Spending [04:12 - 11:23]

Adam shifts the conversation to the societal fascination with expensive and extravagant purchases, using Joe Burrow's $3 million Batmobile purchase as a focal point. They explore the double standards in how society perceives luxurious items versus essential purchases.

• Notable Quote:
  Adam Carolla [04:53]: "Now I get it. It's also kind of a weird thing, because if you buy a $5 million home, no one gives a shit. But if you buy a $3 million Batmobile, people can get pissed off."

3. Women's Punctuality: A "Disease" [11:23 - 15:04]

A significant portion of the episode delves into the topic of women's habitual lateness, with Adam humorously labeling it as a "disease." The discussion draws parallels between chronic lateness and alcoholism, emphasizing the negative repercussions on personal and social levels.

• Notable Quotes:
  Adam Carolla [09:03]: “It's a disease... they continue to be late.”
  Eric Griffin [10:11]: "I think that when you're late and you're messing everything up, you know, what are we supposed to do?"

4. Flight Mishap and Airline Policies [15:05 - 35:02]

Adam recounts a personal story about missing a flight in Phoenix, highlighting the chaos and miscommunication involved. This leads to a broader discussion about airline policies, the stress of travel, and the idea of implementing a licensing system for airline passengers to ensure better behavior and punctuality.

• Notable Quotes:
  Adam Carolla [25:52]: “If we had licenses to fly, Mike wouldn't have had to turn around and come back...”
  Eric Griffin [32:04]: "We need a licensing program. It should be like having a license to operate heavy equipment."

5. Dramatic Reenactment: Angry Airline Passenger [35:02 - 55:00]

In a creative twist, Adam and Eric participate in a dramatized skit auditioning for the role of an angry airline passenger dealing with a crying baby. This segment showcases their improvisational skills and comedic timing, bringing humor to the frustrations often experienced during flights.

• Notable Interaction:
  Eric Griffin [48:25]: “We are in a fucking tin can with a baby in a goddamn echo chamber...”
  Adam Carolla [52:21]: “Shut up.”

6. News Segment: Fatal Shooting and Celebrity Legal Issues [55:00 - 91:22]

The show transitions to a news discussion covering two major stories:

• Fatal Shooting of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson:
  The suspect, Luigi Maggione, is identified as having connections to 3D-printed ghost guns. The conversation touches on the dangers of unregulated firearms and the role of technology in modern crimes.

  • Notable Quote:
    Adam Carolla [62:00]: "They will do as much as we let them do... every business is gonna do the maximum amount they can do."

• Jay-Z's Civil Lawsuit Allegations:
  Jay-Z faces civil lawsuits accusing him of raping a 13-year-old girl in 2000 alongside Sean "Diddy" Combs. The discussion delves into the implications of such high-profile allegations, the influence of social media on legal proceedings, and societal reactions.

  • Notable Quote:
    Adam Carolla [65:00]: “The singularity already happened. And now we're just kind of like...”

7. Societal Impacts of Technology and AI [91:22 - 112:04]

The conversation shifts to the pervasive influence of technology and artificial intelligence (AI) in daily life. Adam and Eric discuss concerns about privacy, data collection, and the psychological effects of constant connectivity and information overload.

• Notable Quotes:
  Adam Carolla [112:04]: “I find most people, it's kind of a female thing. They try to extract information.”
  Eric Griffin [107:20]: “I think the AI is really smart.”

8. Homeownership and DIY Challenges [112:04 - 118:00]

Eric shares his experiences as a new homeowner, navigating the complexities of home maintenance and repairs. The discussion highlights the frustrations and humorous mishaps that come with DIY projects, emphasizing the importance of having the right tools and knowledge.

• Notable Quotes:
  Eric Griffin [85:27]: “But it's so funny how often I do think of this guy when I'm like, anything that has to do with...”

9. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts [118:00 - End]

As the episode wraps up, Adam and Eric reflect on the various topics discussed, tying together the themes of personal responsibility, societal expectations, and the role of humor in addressing life's challenges. They also promote upcoming shows and projects, leaving listeners with a blend of laughter and contemplation.

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Conclusion:

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a rich tapestry of humor, personal stories, and critical societal commentary. From labeling chronic lateness as a "disease" to exploring the implications of AI and technology on everyday life, Adam and Eric engage listeners with their sharp wit and insightful perspectives. The dramatic reenactment and news discussions further add depth and variety, making this episode both entertaining and thought-provoking for a broad audience.

For those who haven't tuned in, this summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, highlighting the key discussions and memorable moments that define Adam Carolla's unique approach to podcasting.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Well, in this episode, comedian Eric Griffin is back in studio bringing the heat. Also, Mayhem's doing the news and we'll do all that right after this.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

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[Adam Carolla]

Hey, fans of freedom and open discussion. I'm heading over to Substack and there's an ad free audio and video version of the Adam Corolla show that's going to be waiting there in the near future. You'll even be able to watch ACS live unedited as we record it, participate in the show via live chat. That'll be coming up very soon. You also get an ad free version of the Adam Kurl and Dr. Drew show. You also get an exclusive to my new podcast, Beat it out, where I share unpolished ideas with my comedian buddies. The first series of episodes is going to be J. Moore. You'll get all this and more for the low, low price of nine bucks a month of pittance for all we're going to bring. You subscribe [e-mail] substack and I'll see all of you in our new speakeasy called Substack. All right, this show brought to you in part by Simplisafe. If you have 30 minutes, you never have to worry about break ins ever again. Just go to simplisafe.com Atom get all the sensors you need, all the help you need as well to set it up. Custom system's gonna show up post [e-mail] Adam.

[Dawson]

From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Corolla Show. Adam's guest today, comedian Eric Griffin. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now, still totally buzzed about the La Gall Galaxy MLS cup victory, Adam Corolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get ready. Get it on. Eric Riven back in studio. One of my favorite Mayhems here as well. Eric driving his lucid automobile. Very beautiful.

[Eric Griffin]

Love it.

[Adam Carolla]

All electric. Beautiful automobile. How's it working out?

[Eric Griffin]

You know, it's great. I love it. I do think there are a couple of things that for the amount of money you spend for this car, it's the little things I think they should work on, like the map, like I moved to a new area in Santa Clarita. And like, on their map, there's nothing there, you know, So I hit him up. I say, you know, for $125,000.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Does that what the sticker is for those things?

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

How's the range doing?

[Eric Griffin]

It's great. 400 miles.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. I could go, like, I've gone to. I've gone to San Diego, driven around, you know, for the two days I'm there, and then come back on one charge.

[Adam Carolla]

How's the charging apparatus station network?

[Eric Griffin]

Very simple. Like they. For three years, they give you free charging at Electric Fire America. And then, you know, I have it.

[Unknown]

At home, which you have to have, like, turbocharged, like.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. When you go to those places. Yes. But I will say this. If you have an electric car, you have to have something at home, and it's better for the battery. If you have a charge for eight hours and that's better for the battery. You can't just have a car at the. At the fast charger all the time. It's going to degrade the battery.

[Adam Carolla]

You got the high speed 240 at home.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Gotcha.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, yeah, you have to have that, but it still takes like, you know, six, seven hours. So, you know, but you have to have that. Because having an electric car is like having a dog. If you don't have a thing at home. Cause then you're like, oh, God, I gotta go. I gotta go charge this car. And I gotta go to the place for 20, 30 minutes. And it's like, you don't want that.

[Unknown]

But it sniffs your balls.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. Eats all my food, you know. But I love it.

[Adam Carolla]

It was so funny because I was just talking on this show about the Batmobile last week, and then I woke up next morning and I saw Joe Burrow, quarterback Cincinnati, bought one of those $3 million Batmobiles.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. When you're young and rich and you have $50 million.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Now I get it. It's also. It's kind of a weird thing, because if you buy a $5 million home, no one gives a shit. But if you buy a $3 million Batmobile, people can get pissed off. There's people in Africa without a Batmobile. They gotta go to bed every night with no Batmobile.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. You know how much food that Batmob can deliver to these African cities?

[Adam Carolla]

No. That's what my mom. My mom would always be that way. She'd be like, you know how many school teachers you could have first off, like, it would have gone to them, number one. My mom would always do that thing where she'd go, these guys in the NBA, they're 8ft tall. They just hand them the ball. They just drop it in. Like, I love it when women start oversimplifying things, and then they go, and they're millionaires. A schoolteacher gets $41,000. These guys give for Dr. Dropping a ball into a hoop. Okay?

[Eric Griffin]

If 100 million people were paying pay per view to watch people teach, teachers would make. They would be making $10 million a year. Like, they should just do that, you know?

[Unknown]

Look at that. Scantron. Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

We're at Ms. Robinson's math class.

[Unknown]

The overhead projectors on fire tonight.

[Eric Griffin]

That's.

[Adam Carolla]

That's.

[Unknown]

That's.

[Eric Griffin]

That's what they need. And then it would be like that. But it's like. It's like a supply and demand situation.

[Adam Carolla]

We got Burrow, and we got a minute clip ahead. It's a $3 million I built in Europe, I think.

[Eric Griffin]

Did you get it yet, though?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't get it for, like, a.

[Eric Griffin]

Year, but I bought it.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God. I think it would be crazy. Oh, we're talking about. Dunham was talking about this one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Jeff Dunham's talking about.

[Unknown]

I think.

[Eric Griffin]

Oh, I think I gotta go all in and go for, like, the expensive.

[Adam Carolla]

Bass, the suit and all.

[Eric Griffin]

That's gonna be funny as hell.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me say this about Joe Farrow. I want to walk up to him and go, remember. Remember how we all made fun of Ryan Seacrest 20 years ago for frosting his tips and we called him a homo?

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't end up like him, do you? Because you're walking down that frosted tip highway. We all made fun of ryan Seacrest circa 2003 for frosting his tips. There was the one guy from the Backstreet Boys over there, I don't know what tip frosting.

[Eric Griffin]

I'll tell you how it's different. I think that if people already think something of you and then you get defrosted tips, you're like, ooh, but Joe Burrow's the quarterback of an Ohio football team. I think he gets a pass, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe literally, but I disagree. Frosted tips are never okay on a white male. Black people kind of try whatever this is like you. But they can wear whatever hat. They can go, cam Newton hat. White guys can't pull off any hat. You know, we have, like, three. We got a fedora, we got a sombrero, and then we. We got a yarmulke. Maybe a Pepper Boy hat, a cowboy hat, but we don't have any hat that's ever been conceived.

[Eric Griffin]

You know, I thought about you over the Thanksgiving break.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you did?

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. I'll tell you why.

[Adam Carolla]

Because fighting crime with frosted tips. Is that what you're thinking about?

[Eric Griffin]

No, it's just when I see your face, I think anytime something, anytime nonsense goes on in my life, and I just go like, this shouldn't have happened. I think of this guy, all right? You know, and my wife's aunt decided to make turkey for our Thanksgiving. I bought a house and we were having Thanksgiving. I wanted to make the turkey. But then they were like, hey, you know, her aunt wants to make the turkey. You know, but her mom says this. Well, you know, she kind of shows up late a lot, so maybe you might want to have stuff ready. I said, okay, well, I'll make a small turkey. You know, we have dinner at 3:30. Guess what time she showed up with her turkey. 5:30.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, who is this woman again?

[Eric Griffin]

My wife's aunt showed up at 5.

[Adam Carolla]

With a turkey and bringing the turkey.

[Eric Griffin]

Bringing. You show up late with the cranberry sauce.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe.

[Eric Griffin]

Maybe you show up late with a pumpkin pie.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah. But the turkey, she held it hostage.

[Eric Griffin]

I opened the door and I just said, you don't take flights.

[Unknown]

You're canceled.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, I said, you don't take flights. You must not have doctor's appointments because this is absurd.

[Adam Carolla]

Can we talk about this with women and lateness, please? I now classify it as a disease. It's a disease.

[Unknown]

It is.

[Adam Carolla]

And the reason it's a disease, like, what is? Dr. Drew sat next to the man for over a decade. People would say, what is alcoholism, really? And the answer isn't how many beers you drink a week. Because I can drink a ton of beers a week. I'm not an alcoholic because I'm not being adversely affected by my alcoholism. So he says, the way you do it again, it can't be ounces of alcohol. It's got to be. How does it impact you? Get DUIs? Did you get fired from your job? Are your kids not talking to you? So on and so forth. You know what I mean? You fall asleep smoking and burn your condo down. You know what I mean? Consequences. And the reason I now qualify women and their lateness as a disease is in the face of missing flights, in the face of having doctors go, sorry, you're too late. You have to reschedule and we're charging you. By the way, they continue having Eric and His immediate family hate your fucking guts because they're eating tofurkey for two hours before you roll through that door. Adverse consequences. In the face of that, they continue to be late.

[Eric Griffin]

I think that one of my biggest pet peeves with anyone is being inconsiderate. Like, when people are inconsiderate, it's just the kind of thing that you just. You gotta go, oh, come on. And so I think that, like, you say, what is alcoholism? What is. Like, even when they talk about what smoking does smoking directly cause cancer? And they go, oh, maybe it's not that. And, you know, it's all these. It's. Again, like he says, it's about the consequences. And I think that when you're late and you're messing everything up, you know, what are we supposed to do?

[Unknown]

But that's the argument that women. A lot of times, there is no consequence.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's.

[Eric Griffin]

They don't care about that. No, no.

[Unknown]

Because nobody. Oh, it's okay, honey. Come in.

[Eric Griffin]

We need happier, but we need NFL fines in our relationship list.

[Unknown]

I thought you were gonna say we need Joe Burrow to kick this lady in the stomach.

[Eric Griffin]

No, we need, like, a fine. We need, like, a commissioner. We need, like, a commissioner of relationships.

[Unknown]

To put up a bad signal, and.

[Eric Griffin]

Then we can be like, all right, this is a $10,000 fine. You relate to Thanksgiving.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I get where you're much. But much like alcoholism, they go, you know, you've been fired from your third job and your son's not speaking to you. And they go, I'm still having a drink tonight. You know what I mean? And that's. That's the disease of lateness that a.

[Unknown]

Lot of women have going to tardy Anonymous.

[Eric Griffin]

My name is Joanne, and I'm always late.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, by the way, tardy is too nice a word. Tardy is somewhere between 15 and 26 minutes. That's not two fucking hours.

[Eric Griffin]

Totally agree. Totally agree. There's a but. No but. I always think to myself, I think of things where there's like, okay, it's like the start of a podcast. You know what I mean? Or a flight. Or, like, it's, you know, or like, dates. I remember when I was single and you're dating and you tell somebody, yeah, you know, we gotta get to this thing. It's at 8:00. You know what I mean? It's like, so when I say, hey, I'm gonna pick you up at 7:15, I'm picking you up at 7:15.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not picking up when people Start talking to you like a special needs child. But 8 o'clock means 8 o'clock now, right? Because the ArcLight has a policy where they will not. Yeah, listen to me. Eight. Yeah, we need to do that. Eight doesn't mean 825. Now, listen, I'm going to pick you up, but if you're still in the shower, okay, hon? Okay, hon. It's what? Special needs kids. It's how you talk to special needs kids.

[Eric Griffin]

No, sometimes I think women do like you say, you're going to pick them up. I think they're waiting naked at the window to see you, then go, oh, he's here. I got to start getting ready.

[Adam Carolla]

You know the other move that chicks pull all the time in the late department is I take zero time to get ready. I can go from bathrobe to sitting in the car in 4 minutes and 21 seconds quite easily.

[Eric Griffin]

It should be an Olympic event.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Even the. Even if it's formal, if there's a suit, just pull the pants on, button the shirt. I'll put the coat on in the car. I'm walking out the door, the fireman. So. So they're in their towel and you're walking around in your bathrobe and they're like, you're not ready. Yeah, I know. What I am is one Beatles song away from being sitting in this fucking car. And you are 92 minutes away from being in that fucking car. That's right. That's all it is. I'm one. Yesterday. What is yesterday? Four minutes.

[Unknown]

And I think, Help me run.

[Adam Carolla]

32 seconds. Beach Boys are a little quick. Help me run is in the 257.

[Eric Griffin]

But check this out. This is the situation I'm in now. So then you. If you add a baby to it, it is the built in. I said we gotta go. Cause, like, well, you know, I have a baby. And I'm like, ah, all right. Okay. So now I'm just sitting there, just kind of like exponential. My thing is, oh, we're not. We're just not gonna be on time to things.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

You know, we're just not gonna be on time to things. And you just go, okay. You know, I'm at an age now where it's like, I don't. You know what?

[Adam Carolla]

Really? I often think yesterday's the song. Sorry. 2:30 and 3%. I don't look at 2:03.

[Unknown]

Is that short time to dry your.

[Eric Griffin]

Balls to vetoes tracks or the extended.

[Adam Carolla]

Dance version of Yesterday. Yeah. So yes, it's a disease. It needs to be dealt with.

[Eric Griffin]

And how are we going to deal with it?

[Adam Carolla]

Those of us who are pointing it out. Those of us who don't want to miss the flight. Those of us who don't want to get locked out of the arc Light. Those of us who don't want to humiliate the couple we're meeting for dinner because they have to sit there for 40 minutes waiting for us. Those of us that would like to prevent that are not the problem. We're not. Now there should be an Al Anon for us. There should be a place where we can go on time.

[Eric Griffin]

Al Anon meeting starts at 7. Guess what? We in our seats at 6:55.

[Unknown]

Like, do you guys have like a special face? Like I have my facial expression that lets everybody know without saying it why we're late. Like I kind of twitch my cheek in the direction.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, but your facial expression is so.

[Adam Carolla]

That'S the next one. You're not allowed to throw them under the bus. When you walk into the restaurant and the couple sitting there eating shrimp cocktail on their third martini, staring at their phone.

[Unknown]

We're not allowed a grenade, right?

[Adam Carolla]

We want me and my ex wife took triggered her friend Jody out for her 40th birthday. And then meeting us at the steakhouse for her birthday. She sat there for an hour before we showed up. And then they always do this one. And women, look, I'm sorry this is on you. Look, it's like you know, you do. We feel the same way at the black community. Charlamagne. The guy. Tell that black guy what I want to tell him. He's not going to listen to me. You women start going after your own bitches here. Because what happens is we come into this restaurant downtown, we're an hour late. She's just sitting there. It's her birthday dinner, just sitting there alone. And then as we come pulling up the ways. Excuse the ways. Took us around the. Okay, you've just accounted for three minutes. Three minutes max. We are an hour late.

[Eric Griffin]

Maybe three minutes. Maybe three minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

Not even yesterday where the. You female need to stand up and crack the whip. If I do it, I'm going to get fucking yelled at.

[Eric Griffin]

No, no, no. Right under the bus.

[Adam Carolla]

Under the bus. I go under the bus.

[Eric Griffin]

I had this thing where like, you know, it's all about like how you argue with someone and what's your arguing style? Like, I'm a gambler. So if you're a gambler. All right. When you're a gambler, you know, you Might lose, but that's the thrill.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Put them on the table.

[Eric Griffin]

So if I'm having a thing with my wife, I might be like, hey, I'm gonna say something. I could be wrong.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

The odds are I'm probably not. This is probably like a red, black situation. And that's 50%'s pretty good.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Eric Griffin]

So I'm gonna. I'm gonna. And if I'm wrong, the first one to be like, ah, okay. You were right about that one right there. My wife is not a gambler. She just wants to win.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

So she gonna, like, you know, it's gonna be loaded dice.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

It's gonna be like. She gonna be. She gonna be counting cards.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

She gonna have an ace up her sleeve because she doesn't need that thrill. She don't need the thrill. She just want to be right.

[Adam Carolla]

And probably the Dylan, the Derringer, single shot pistol in the boot in case the shit really goes down.

[Unknown]

Hell yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

I'm gonna tell you one story. This is how my wife is, all right? Her main rule is, everything's my fault, okay? And that's why being late is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

Okay? So we go to this restaurant, all right? I have the baby. We're going in her car. I'm sitting in the backseat of her car. I'm dealing with the baby. We get to the restaurant. I get the baby stuff. I'm like a roadie for the baby. And I'm like. And then we get back to the car after we eat in her car, and she goes, you left the door unlocked. And I said, it's your car, right? You have the keys. She says, you always have an excuse.

[Unknown]

There's no winning, bud.

[Eric Griffin]

That's what. You know what that is? You know what that is? It's like when you go to somebody's house and you're playing a game that you know the rules, but they say, well, we have some house rules.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, do you.

[Eric Griffin]

We have house rules. That's women. Women have house rules for everything.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you do with the externalization that goes on? Mean they miss the appointment and they're angry at the doctor, or they miss the flight and they're angry at the Uber driver and they miss whatever. They show up to the place, the place is closed, and they go, it's everybody. I'll circle back this because I got a big story. But everyone who misses a flight does the. I got to the gate, there was seven minutes. I had a full seven. It's like, yeah, you're supposed to be there a Half hour before that.

[Eric Griffin]

It's hard to do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Internalize.

[Eric Griffin]

No, no, it's hard for them to do that with, say, a husband like us in their life. Because immediately we missed the flight. They had to turn to me going like this. I told you this was gonna happen. And then that. That's where now the fight becomes. Not even about being late. It becomes about how I.

[Unknown]

Exactly. Right. Well, because that's how I'm acting then.

[Eric Griffin]

That's why.

[Adam Carolla]

That's why it's a disease, I think. I think the moment we look at it as disease and we go to whatever. Whatever you're supposed to. Drew, you still people all the time. Look, this person is an alcoholic. They're not listening to you. You need to go to Al Anon. You need to go sit with other people that are victims of lateness, talk about your trials and tribulations, your turkeys, your Thanksgiving, your missed flights, and just be in a community with these people.

[Unknown]

Wait, that's not what this is. I thought this was the support.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what this is.

[Eric Griffin]

But I'll tell you what, though. I'll tell you why Atlanta is important. It is a kind of thing where you have to have experienced it. Like, you can't be around somebody that's. Cause I've been around an alcoholic. I've experienced this situation. So it's like, you can't just talk to somebody who's like, well, just tell em that they shouldn't. You know, it's like, oh, no, no, you don't get it.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't get it.

[Eric Griffin]

You don't get it. You don't get the nu. Cause there's nuance to being around somebody who has a disease like this.

[Unknown]

Women's favorite term lately is gaslighting. And that is the ultimate gaslighting. You made me late. Like, what? Wait, I was ready. You made me standing here with my fucking driving gloves on, ready to go to Le Mans for you. And we're still 30 minutes late because.

[Eric Griffin]

You, you know, you get to a point where you just got. You know, you have to. You weigh the pros and cons of a relationship. At some point you get to an age where you go, this is too much for me. I gotta get out of this because I can't stand this.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Eric Griffin]

Or you just go like, I'm at an age right now where I'm like.

[Unknown]

Fuck it, I'll just take the abuse.

[Eric Griffin]

You know what I'm looking for?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

Fucks, I give none. I have none.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's also another podcast I Get.

[Eric Griffin]

To diss in my Al Anon.

[Unknown]

There we go. There we.

[Adam Carolla]

The other part is you hiding the booze, which is you lying. Lie for meeting the Feldsteins at 7. Oh, I knew that.

[Eric Griffin]

But you know what, though?

[Adam Carolla]

I know she sent her email 7:30.

[Eric Griffin]

But that's how you deal with it.

[Adam Carolla]

I talked to her and she said seven.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, that's how you deal with it to me. And then you can go like this. Now, you could be on her side. You say six, you go. But you know what? We could be fashionably late. Let's get there at 6:30.

[Unknown]

No, but what happened? They don't. No, they figure it out. They figure it out.

[Adam Carolla]

They figure it out.

[Unknown]

You were lying, and then they take that there are extra beauty tips. Like, every different move, they're in a different part of them house, different mirror, and then suddenly you're just, what the has been two hours?

[Eric Griffin]

No, no. But just what you have to do is you can't be consistent with it. Oh, sometimes you go early, then sometimes you go, I told you I wasn't lying. Well, you know, then. Then they won't know. Then they're on their toes.

[Unknown]

But then it's just like you're doing a conspiracy with all your friends that. Well, you know, she's an hour late. I'm sick. I'm sorry. I'm talking about this.

[Adam Carolla]

Joe Preno. You were affected adversely. A victim of a girlfriend. Right? Impacted two hours. Two hours late to every. Two hours late to, like, Thanksgiving.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God.

[Eric Griffin]

Like, they're taking.

[Unknown]

They took the turkey out an hour and a half ago. Yeah, we did that.

[Adam Carolla]

Life before.

[Eric Griffin]

If you get to Thanksgiving dinner and you have to heat your food up, you shouldn't be. You should never be invited again. Yeah, if I have to take a place and put it in a microwave at somebody else's place. Come on. Brutal. Unless you already say, like, listen, I'm doing a thing where I'm going around in five different places or my family, her family, we're gonna be late.

[Unknown]

Unless you're doing that all Thanksgiving where they're, like, waiting on us.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you guys for letting me be.

[Unknown]

A part of Al Anon. You're welcome.

[Adam Carolla]

I love the chair laden on. I brought donuts. Lay down. There should be a sport group. All right, so get with it. Now, speaking of missing flights, we had a segment we had a flight miss, so I went and did Adam Ray's show in Arizona. Dr. Phil Show.

[Eric Griffin]

Oh, nice.

[Adam Carolla]

Ton of fun. Sam Morrell was there at a good time all Good times. Adam's great, great crowd, fun, blah, blah, blah. Then I went to another part of Phoenix. The following day, I did a show, standup show. And then Mike August and I were returning to the Phoenix airport on Sunday morning to drop off the rental car and hop on the Southwest flight to take us to Burbank Airport. Boom. Okay, so Mike has our travel itinerary. And the Travel itinerary says 10:35 flight out of Sky Harbor, Phoenix Airport. And here's the flight number. So Mike says, well, what time do we want to leave the hotel? So, well, it's going to take 20, 25 minutes to get there, but Mike's got to drop off the rental car. So we got to build in a little time. But let me ask you though, what's.

[Eric Griffin]

Your normal time like? Just. Just so I know, because for me, it's like I want to be at the airport an hour before boarding. Boarding. That's how I. That's my go to.

[Adam Carolla]

We go for an hour. If the flight's at 11, you get there at 10. But if there's no bag checking, then he doesn't have to be carved in stone. You get there 10 o, 8 for an 11 o'clock flight or something like that. But I go for the hour, okay? I go for the hour, hour before the actual flight. The actual flight.

[Eric Griffin]

Sometimes that means like 30 to 40 minutes before board.

[Adam Carolla]

I shoot for the hour. I got clear. I got TSA pre. So Mike goes, well, look, it's going to take us 20, 25 minutes to get there. I got drop off the rental car also. I got that car. They'll get us into the lounge, the Centurion Lounge. I got a nice spread over there, so maybe we should get there a little bit early. So Mike and I go, and the Phoenix Airport is massive, by the way.

[Eric Griffin]

Like Chicago.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like Chicago just keeps going, going. So he's going to pull up in the rental car, we're both going to jump out, and we're going to check the bags with the sky captain guy on the. On the curb. We'll bag check them, we'll curb check them. And then Mike's going to get back in the rental car and he's going to go drop the rental car off, which is a long tram ride back to the main airport, Southwest. So we're taking the bags and we're checking them in. And the guy behind the thing is nice, and he goes, now we're there, we think we have a 1035 flight, and it is 9:15.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

And we're checking them. And the guy goes, oh, man, we don't know. Not sure these bags are gonna make it through onto the flight. And we go, oh, yeah, why not? We got time. He goes, well, no, the flight leaves at 9:55. I said, and I do what I do. I go, no, it boards at 9:55. Because now they always just put the boarding on. I go, boards at 9:55. But that's perfect. The flight's at 10:35. And he goes, no, flight's at 9:55. And I go, what? Really? Our itinerary was wrong. And then Mike basically just yells, shit. Jumps back in the car and yells, I'm not going to make the flight. And takes off. I check the stuff and sort of start hustling through the airport. Now, keeping a. Documenting which way you go. Once you get through security, you turn left, it's D18 and blah, blah, blah. So I can download that to Mike, who's going to be in full OJ mode going through that airport.

[Unknown]

Let's rent a car.

[Adam Carolla]

But he is dropping the rental car off two miles away and have to get onto the tram and go back to the D gates. So at some point, I get on the Southwest flight and I say, how many open seats do you have? And they go, we're 20 open seats. So I sit down toward the front of the plane because I thought maybe, you know, I call Mike, and he doesn't pick up. And then at some point, somebody, a guy who worked for the airline, I don't know, never happened to me before. He just goes, adam Carolla. And I go, yeah. And he goes, you're traveling with Mike August. And I go, yeah. And he goes, well, he not. He's not here. And I go, I know he's right. He's just coming. He's running down. He's not gonna make the flight. I go, okay. And he goes, you wanna get off the flight? I go, no, I don't. That's why Mike doesn't need me to sit next to him at a Chili's for two hours. I go, no. But I go, how much time do we have? And he goes, about 60 seconds. And I go, God damn. And then. So then I call Mike, and I go, mike, where are you? And he goes, I'm at D, but it's at the end of D. And I hustle, man. Hustle, man. And at some point, Mike calls, and he goes, I walked through the door. The doors open. They did not shut the door to the sky bridge or the Jetway or Whatever.

[Eric Griffin]

There's nobody in the front.

[Adam Carolla]

There's nobody in the front.

[Unknown]

Punch through Mike.

[Adam Carolla]

Walks right through. Gets stopped halfway down the Jetway. Now I'm on the phone with Mike the whole time. I go, mike, I'm sitting up front. There's an empty seat right next to me. Because I got a guy stop me. I go, the door's open. The door to the plane is open. The plane doors open. Just tell the guy the plane door. So I'm just walk past him and sit down. He's like, I don't know. The guy's not. The guy said he's going to go talk to the pilot. They see the guy walk back into the airplane.

[Eric Griffin]

Open door, which he should have came with him, right?

[Unknown]

This would not have happened to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Walks in to talk to the pilot. They're, like, talking. Mike, he's on the phone with the pilot. I think he's on the phone with the pilot. Mike's just standing in the middle of the Jetway. This has never happened where you make it onto the Jetway. You usually don't make it out of the terminal. Stand there, and the plane doors open, and there's an open seat, and there's 21 open seats. Because I backed Mike out of there. And the guy's, like, talking to the pilot, and I'm trying to give him the. You know, he'd, like, turn around. And I gave him that. Yeah, okay, good, good, good. And then the guy walked out of the open door, told Mike to go home and shut the plane door. And Mike had to walk back up the plank, up the jetway into the airport, and schedule a Southwest flight back to Burbank. And I'm like, you're on the door. The guy was in the plane. Walked out of the plane through the open door. It's crazy. Mike was 16ft away from just walking and sitting down right next to me at any open seat on that plane. So that's what happened to Mike.

[Eric Griffin]

And then this almost happened to me. I just had this happen.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to hear, but then this is crazy. So. So then at some point, two hours later, he calls me. I'm driving home. I'm back in Burbank. I'm heading home. Mike calls me and goes, I got the 1230 Southwest flight we're taking. We're going down. We're taxiing. We get onto the. We get on the lane. We're about to take off. And they turn the plane around and drive it back. Not to the gate. Just 20ft away from the gate. They Stop. And he goes. A cop car pulled up, and I'm like, oh, my man, what the fuck? A guy did. The. Did not agree. The guy sitting in the emergency exit did not verbally agree to open the exit door and assist passengers. And they turned the plane around. They got the cop. Of course, when the guy gets up, he doesn't want to leave, you know, and then they do that.

[Eric Griffin]

Everybody has to get off the plane.

[Adam Carolla]

They do that thing where they go. He's like, all right, all right. And then the guy's like, no, no.

[Eric Griffin]

They.

[Adam Carolla]

Mike sat there, walked the dude off the plane, walked him into the cop car or back into the airport, and they just let him go. Okay. I was yelling on this show last week, you should need a license to fly. At this point, this guy did not understand the rules where you sit in the exit row and you verbally commit. All you have to do is go, hi. You know, they go, do you want to. Yes, affirmative. Whatever.

[Eric Griffin]

You.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the rule. If we had licenses to fly, Mike wouldn't have had to turn around and come back. Maybe he could have flashed the guy's license, you know, in the jet way, and it would have let him on. But I'm just saying, there are too many crazy people. They're too beaked up on prescription meds and beyond. We can't fly with these fucking animals anymore. We have to have a licensing program.

[Eric Griffin]

I thought that. You mean. You mean separate? Separate. You would be.

[Adam Carolla]

This guy. Not only this guy, if he had a license, it would be suspended for six months because he made everyone on that fucking planes turn around and go back to the gate.

[Eric Griffin]

I love this. So it would be like how you have to go to the DMV and take a driver's test with someone. So it would be like, they would have a sort of fake airport, right? Then you would. Your test would be, all right, let me see you go through security, get to the security guy. Oh, you don't have change in your pocket, right?

[Adam Carolla]

You don't have keys.

[Unknown]

Shoes off. Quick. Shoes back on.

[Eric Griffin]

You know the procedure. You put the bag on the damn thing, Laptop out. And there's a guy. There's a guy with a clipboard. Okay, good, good, good. That was nice. You get to the gate. Yeah. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

You tried to pass through security wearing your championship rodeo belt.

[Unknown]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Unknown]

Yep. Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

But again, it doesn't mean you won't be issued a license. It's just. Just a driver's test. You didn't. You screwed up the parallel park, but there's still the three way turn, you know, I like it. We'll get A through security B during the plane loading simulation, we'll see the guy walk up six aisles, start loading his duffel bag up over the head. Sir, you have. What's seat 33? That's. You're in the. Oh.

[Eric Griffin]

Oh, no. You know what?

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, but Southwest Airlines would need a specific license for Southwest.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, no, you'd have.

[Eric Griffin]

That's different from, say, United because Southwest is like, hey, man, casual sit. Yeah, the down.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah. Frontier. You got to bring brass knuckles.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm saying.

[Eric Griffin]

But I'm talking. When you're in a Southwest player, people are browsing like they're shopping at a buffet.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

Hey, man, we got to get where we're going. Get in there.

[Adam Carolla]

They're going. Assigned, by the way. Southwest. Okay, yeah, we have the whole. We have the whole thing. We have the whole cornucopia. We have through security. Oop. You walk through with earbuds in. Sorry, that's going to be a little deduction.

[Eric Griffin]

Full water bottles.

[Adam Carolla]

Full water bottles.

[Eric Griffin]

A full bottle of Listerine. You can't bring this.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll do that part. We'll set up some other stuff. Like, we'll put like a fake Jersey, mics, and we'll have you sit there going, how many pickles are in the Supreme? Okay, sorry. There are other people waiting in line. Move it along. We'll coach them through the whole thing.

[Eric Griffin]

I love this.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll test them out. We'll see how they do with the booze.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean? We'll give them a couple of travelers, you know, we'll get a couple of Jack and sodas, you know, Jack and Coke. Put a few down, see if they start heating on people. See if they miss the toilet when they take a piss. You know what I mean?

[Eric Griffin]

I love all this.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll lay it all out. Cut you vaping in the bathroom. Sorry. Gonna deduct.

[Eric Griffin]

And there's different license levels. So then, like, if you don't pass this, you never get to sit in first class. That's just part of it. You, no matter how much you pay, you don't get an upgr.

[Unknown]

No, no.

[Eric Griffin]

This is where you're at right now because you failed the security part of this thing. And.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get the plane turned around like this guy did in Phoenix. That's a six month suspension. You cannot fly.

[Eric Griffin]

Inconsiderate.

[Adam Carolla]

Inconsiderate.

[Eric Griffin]

Listen, this just happened to me, you know, I fly United all the time. You go To Chicago. I can't stand when the airline gives you these tight connections. So the flight's gonna say, land at 9, and then my next flight is boarding at 9. 25.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And we moved you to Z gate.

[Eric Griffin]

This just happened to me. So I'm going to do these shows with Matt. Rife. Okay. And then it's like I get to the airport they moved us to, actually, the E gates in Chicago. I don't know if you've ever been.

[Adam Carolla]

To Chicago airport, by the way. In terms of Matt and Eric, when they're in their underpants, you can't tell them apart. You can tell their humor is different, but when they just get down to their boxer briefs, there's no telling them apart.

[Eric Griffin]

So I'm at the thing when the plane lands. Another part of our test you're talking about, too, is, like, when the people say, hey, we have some tight connections. Can anybody stay in their seats and let these people leave? You know what I mean? Get out of the way.

[Unknown]

I know.

[Eric Griffin]

Okay. So now when the plane lands, I turn on my phone and I get the notification right away. Way. Your flight is boarding now.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Eric Griffin]

And I'm at the Egate, and I gotta go to C. All right. So that you get to E, goes to B, and you have to go underground in Chicago.

[Adam Carolla]

The underground.

[Eric Griffin]

And I have to go all the way across. And I'll tell you right now, look at me. I'm not. I'm not in my best shape right now, admittedly.

[Unknown]

Right time.

[Eric Griffin]

So I'm running through the airport, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Nice.

[Eric Griffin]

I'm running. It's late at night, too. And I know if I miss this flight, I'm gonna miss this show because there's no other flights tomorrow to where I'm. So I'm running and walking and I'm wheezing and I'm. And I. And then you get to this jet bridge that, like. I swear to God, I have the video of it. It's the longest jet bridge I've ever seen.

[Unknown]

Comically long.

[Eric Griffin]

Comically long jet bridge. I get to the plane, I could tell they were sort of waiting. You know, it's quiet. And I walk in, and I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. You know? And then I see people with masks on.

[Unknown]

Yeah. All right. Yeah, yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

Still with this.

[Adam Carolla]

Still with the masks.

[Eric Griffin]

They're looking at me like. I'm like, it's not Covid. I'm just.

[Unknown]

The sprint. The sprint for life.

[Eric Griffin]

I just. So I think part of that is it's like, hey, don't do this. Like, don't. Don't have a. The thing should be like an hour with a grace period. It should never be a tight connection. And if it is a tight connection and it's because of something your airline did.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Eric Griffin]

You should be calling the other plane. Sorry, you're gonna have to wait because we got people coming off. It should be like. It should never be an issue. Yeah, it should never be an issue if there's like a 10, 15 minute window. It should be like, we're waiting for this person.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Eric Griffin]

You know, especially if it's like a last minute flight. That's craziness, man.

[Adam Carolla]

I got some very flight specific stuff for you. I was watching, I don't know how or where, but I got some YouTube footage. Somebody tweeted me of a guy just spazzing out on an airplane screaming about a crying baby. And it sounded like, you don't show it to me yet. Don't show it to me yet. But it sounded like you. So I actually put a script together, which I do not possess, I do not think. But at least I had the idea of doing the script. Now we transcribed it, is what I'm saying. And you do a lot of auditioning.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. Yeah. So you want me to read over it?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, an audition. I do. Can I. I do want to say this, and I don't want to sound like an ass wipe, but the baby that never stops. Is there a sack that we could put over the baby's head that. Where they could breathe? I had a kid behind me just going. When you get to hour three at a certain point and you're like, can we hold a shirt up?

[Eric Griffin]

It should be like church. There should be a glassed off back section of the church of the plane. So there's a part of the plane where, like, you have a baby. You have to sit back here. And we get to. You know how they close off first class?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

That's what they would do. This is the baby kid section. Boom.

[Adam Carolla]

I want them like con Air. I want a small prison, small cage in the back. Lock them up.

[Eric Griffin]

Hilarious.

[Unknown]

Protective custody.

[Eric Griffin]

The baby's in a muzzle.

[Unknown]

You got two nights. I yell in the baby's face, well, this guy.

[Eric Griffin]

So am I passenger?

[Adam Carolla]

This guy's great. Yeah. But now we'll take a break. We'll take a break. We'll come back with a dramatic reenactment of what went on on this flight. The guy first, we'll just listen to him because I was just. He sounded like You, I don't know. For realism, we'll do some news. We'll do all that right after this. Hey, I'm Adam Crawl. That's Brad Williams and Jay Leno. Hey, everybody over there. We're doing our third annual comedy fantasy camp. That's gonna be January 23rd through the 26th, right. In Hollywood, California. Where else would it be? These guys are gonna be there. So remember, two out of every three comics make it big or one and a half.

[Unknown]

Do I get paid for this?

[Adam Carolla]

Please tell me get paid for this. Go to comedyfantasycamp.com and get in on. Yeah, Simplisafe right now, that's the best time of the year to get some home security. Simplisafe, well, they're extending their Black Friday deal only for my listeners. Last chance to protect your home at Simplisafe's lowest prices of the year. We all use Simplisafe here. We've used them for years. Over a decade they've been a sponsor. It's great because everything is modular. So if you move, you can pick up your system and leave and take it with you. That's simply safe. They have active guard. Outdoor protection changes the game by preventing crime before it happens. That's right. Let's not find the person in your house. Let's find them outside your house. If someone's lurking around acting suspicious, agents see them in real time, talk to them directly, set off the spotlight, even call the police. No long term contracts and no big time fees. It's about a buck a day for the SimpleLife protection. It's SimpleSafe, right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

SimpleSafe is extending its massive Black Friday deal for our listeners this week. Only take 50% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. This is your last chance to claim their best offer of the year. Head to SimpliSafe.com Adam to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this season. Don't wait. This offer won't last long. Keep your home, your family and your peace of mind protected with Simplisafe. There's no safe like Simplisafe. Dave.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dawson]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Eric Griffin]

Fat is just funny. Fat is the only disease that we just like. We don't care. We just laugh at it. We make jokes about it. It's the only disease. Obesity kills people every single day, right? But nobody else would be like, oh, they go cancer Charlie. Ah, what up, cancer Charlie. Oh, they go cancer. Tina. No, Tina. Tina, what up, girl? Oh, look, you're mortified. See what I'm saying? That's my whole fucking point. But if it's somebody fat, you just like, ha ha, ha ha.

[Dawson]

Eric Griffin is on the Adam Carolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I got Eric's Got Some Dates. Hollywood improv coming up December 20th. And then it's going to be in Anchorage.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, Alaska. Come out and see me.

[Adam Carolla]

I've been there. It's great, man. That's December 26th through the 28th. That Erickson Unlimited. Go to ericgriffin.com for dates. All right, so here's the guy, all right, yelling because he can't take this kid crying anymore.

[Eric Griffin]

Let's be rash. Hold on, hold on. You want to be rational? No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't tell me what the fuck I need to do. Let's be rational. We are in. We are in a tin can with a baby in a goddamn e. If you want to talk to me about being okay because you're young. So is the baby. Did that pay extra to shut up? I don't give a.

[Adam Carolla]

You were.

[Eric Griffin]

You were sitting there watching that baby. That didn't have nothing to do with nothing, by the way. I'm going tell you something right now. Yes, you are right. Because nobody was going to go talk to somebody. That's fine. That's fine. Good. No good. No problem. I'm insulted now that you thought this sounded like.

[Unknown]

Nah, he's definitely. He's definitely from the same neighborhood, bro. Like, that's something. He has a little swag like you.

[Adam Carolla]

The poor, poor woman sitting next, and she's gotta be like, oh, please. They ended up arresting the guy, detaining him or something.

[Unknown]

It's illegal to cuss a baby out. Because I've cussed many a baby out.

[Eric Griffin]

It should be. I think there should be. There should be a laws about decorum.

[Unknown]

Oh, I see.

[Eric Griffin]

You know, I think that when you're in, like, a public setting like that, you know, it should be like, no, there is. There is a. Take it too far.

[Unknown]

But I always keep it comical. Like, I'll just lean back to the baby and go. I'll do it back to. The baby gets confused. The baby gets confused.

[Eric Griffin]

You being arrested after the fight. No.

[Unknown]

And then once the. Once the. You know, gay agent, whatever shows up, I'm like, huh? What do you mean, huh? Huh?

[Adam Carolla]

Now, Joe, if we're gonna execute this, we need a clip of the part we have the transcribe to, not. Not the full length. You know, we're gonna need that isolated what's on the script here, Which I imagine somebody should have thought.

[Unknown]

I think that. Who? Man, you can nail this part. I know you can do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Give me the first. Give me the first 30 seconds again. Let's let Eric how it should have been done. Slide. Okay. Close your eyes. You're going to hear a little Eric Griffin in this.

[Unknown]

I did.

[Adam Carolla]

You did.

[Eric Griffin]

Let's be. Hold on, hold on. You want to be rational? No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't tell me what the. I mean, let's be rational. We are in. We are in a fucking 10k. This is what I'm Start there. Baby in a goddamn echo chamber. And you want to talk to me about being. So is the baby.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the Eric Griffin part.

[Unknown]

Yeah, right.

[Eric Griffin]

No, no.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, that's it.

[Eric Griffin]

That's where I agree. When the guy's making sense.

[Unknown]

Yeah, 10k in this part.

[Eric Griffin]

But, you know, he took it too far. No, no, I hear we all can agree he took it too far.

[Unknown]

You're right. You're right.

[Eric Griffin]

And when he said I'm triggered, that was him saying, like, you know what? That part was right there. That was him saying, you know what? I'm going to bring the race card out because we've had to put it away for the last five, seven to seven years. We've had to put the race card away because we've been told, hey, don't do that. But then, like, if this was a white woman right now, this would have been like, oh, my God. It would have been nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, later on. And you can find a version of it later on. He said if the kid was black, this would be a different. So he did go to the race car.

[Eric Griffin]

That's what I'm saying.

[Adam Carolla]

Baby crying. All right, look, look, we're making a movie about this guy.

[Eric Griffin]

So you're just gonna do a fake baby crying? Yeah. Who's the flight. And you're the flight attendant?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll be the flight attendant. So again, you audition a lot. You're professional. I want you to bring your own flavor to it. But you do have a template.

[Unknown]

Do we know source material? Keep it close. Keep it close.

[Adam Carolla]

Should we try a little baby crying and then you just sort of count yourself.

[Eric Griffin]

What the fuck?

[Adam Carolla]

Hey.

[Eric Griffin]

We're in a fucking tin can.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Eric Griffin]

With a baby in a goddamn echo chamber, and you want to talk to.

[Adam Carolla]

Me about being fucking okay, okay, because.

[Eric Griffin]

You'Re yelling, so is the baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, sir, calm down.

[Eric Griffin]

Did that motherfucker pay extra? Are you telling that baby to calm down?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's hear the original. One more call back.

[Unknown]

Undoubtedly.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to hear the original now.

[Unknown]

Are you okay with getting a tan and shaving your head?

[Eric Griffin]

That's exactly what they would say. Let's be rational. We are in. We are in a fucking tin Can. With a baby in a goddamn echo chamber. And you want to talk to me about being fucking? Okay, okay. Because you're young. So is the baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Dawson, let's roll on Eric. I want to. I want to kind of A and B this, because I. I think Eric is every bit as good as this passenger is. Are you rolling tape on this take, Dawson?

[Dawson]

Well, we're rolling everything in real time. For me to access this immediately would be a stop and save situation.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let's try one more take, and then I'll let you. I'll let you look it up. We'll start with the babies crying, and then maybe you don't have to be. Yeah, well, here are the different. Do you want to hear again or. Yeah, a little different. You know, we got the first one.

[Eric Griffin]

Just. We just go with the baby crying. We can. Ready to go. We are in a fucking 10, okay? With a baby in a goddamn echo chamber. And you. You wanna talk to me about being fucking?

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Eric Griffin]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Because you're yelling.

[Eric Griffin]

So is the baby. You don't hear that?

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, calm down now.

[Eric Griffin]

Calm. Did that motherfucker pay extra, huh? Is this some kind of. Some kind of upgrade that I didn't know about to the yelling? Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Good. That's good.

[Eric Griffin]

There we go.

[Adam Carolla]

That's good. That's.

[Eric Griffin]

Does it come with the meal?

[Adam Carolla]

That's good stuff.

[Unknown]

Very good.

[Adam Carolla]

Right there.

[Eric Griffin]

In your next movie. You're producing the original.

[Adam Carolla]

One more time. She's got here the first. I'm so in love with this.

[Eric Griffin]

Let's be rational. We are in. We are in a tin can with a baby in a goddamn echo chamber, and you want to talk to me about being okay. Okay.

[Unknown]

Because you.

[Eric Griffin]

You're yelling, so is the baby. Okay, so you're a man. That's the.

[Adam Carolla]

Eric.

[Eric Griffin]

Shut up.

[Adam Carolla]

Shut up. Like when they. I like the collateral damage when some poor guy goes, sir, could you just please.

[Eric Griffin]

And they go, you brought you something. Do you like this? Because, like, there's a part of you that wishes you could do this in public.

[Adam Carolla]

I wish.

[Eric Griffin]

Because part of it is because you're Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I feel that way when I see, like, a dog licking his balls in front of a hot neighbor. I'm like, what? Freedom. You know what I mean? Total freedom.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, that's what I'm saying, though, because there's a part of that related to this.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, first off, I've been thinking about my license to fly thing for a while, which was, you know, Mike film that. Mike had the plane turn around. This guy definitely would have had his revoked or at least suspended for calendar year. You know what I mean? And so I'm sort of thinking how we really do need a license at this point. To prove that you're worthy to be on a commercial flight is no longer. It's like you need a license to operate heavy equipment. You need one to operate a vehicle. Like we need to know. You need one to operate a daycare system. Like we need to know that you're qualified to install. Engage in this behavior. And sadly, we're here. We weren't here when people dressed like Frank Sinatra to fly. We're now here that we. We need it now. So there was that. I also listened to it and sounded like you, so that's why. That's right.

[Eric Griffin]

You mean in tone?

[Unknown]

In, like the incredulous. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Eric Griffin]

Especially the part when he says, so is the bed.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So, Dawson, whenever you have that ready, we'll. We'll give it a listen. We can move forward and we would.

[Dawson]

Have to physically take a break. So I can pull it off of this.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought you were able to play stuff sometimes in real time.

[Dawson]

No, we're recorded. We got one recorder going for the show and then a backup recorder.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Dawson]

I guess we might be able to take it from a camera feed, but it still has to disturb the process that's happening.

[Adam Carolla]

Hmm. Okay. I don't know why in the past I thought we were able to do that, but that's fine. That's all right. We got it. It's all in my head.

[Unknown]

It's in the can.

[Eric Griffin]

We got it.

[Unknown]

We'll give you a call back.

[Eric Griffin]

We going to the news.

[Adam Carolla]

We're going to the news. Yeah. Let's do some news. We have a side by side.

[Unknown]

Nice.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know why people are.

[Unknown]

I'm telling you, bud, not even prosthetics, bro. Just makeup. Just makeup.

[Adam Carolla]

You're born to play that role, by the way.

[Eric Griffin]

God, how dare you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to talk about drama? Imagine this guy's wife or girlfriend where they're like, we're getting on the airplanes. Just listen.

[Eric Griffin]

Don't do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Just whatever. If some kid starts crying or something, just don't. Or we're going into the sub shop and they're out of curly fries. Don't. Not fucking. Please.

[Eric Griffin]

You know what this guy means? He actually needs to become a stand up comic. Yeah, because then you would be able to, like. He would be able to vent nightly at the same level.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Blow that steam off, fall asleep on the plane.

[Eric Griffin]

He needs to Find an outlet. Yes, but, you know, we don't know what's going on with people. This guy might be out. What, you. You talk to this guy out in the terminal, he's getting arrested, and he says something like, listen, my mom just died. I'm going through some. You know, you're just like. It doesn't mean it's okay, but you just have an understanding of why things happen.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we got some news.

[Unknown]

Got some news. Folk hero or village, whichever way you want to look at them. The suspect in the fatal shooting of the United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson is id'd as Luigi Maggione.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Mangione.

[Unknown]

It's not Mangione.

[Adam Carolla]

I was, like, excited. Like, I checked, it's a. Spelled the same way as Chuck Mangione.

[Eric Griffin]

Is this an actual. Do they. Is this an actual suspect? They think it is him.

[Unknown]

They're pretty. They're very, very. I looked into it. It looks just like the pictures that we all saw. He was busted with not only a ghost gun, 3D printed 9. That's why it kept jamming up, because when you fire a ghost gun, it gets real hot, and sometimes the slide will stick. And so that's what happened that night. And, man, he had fake ID, four fake IDs, a US passport, a manifesto against the.

[Eric Griffin]

So he planned everything except for his escape.

[Unknown]

I mean, I mean, it seemed like he was just being real cocky about it. Kicking it in Pennsylvania and eating at McDonald's.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, you know, if I was going to find. If my thought when I first saw this was like, if I was going to find the suspect for this, I would go to the company and I would say, okay, so let me see, like the top hundred people you've wronged in the last 90 days. Like, who. Who's just. Whose mother just died and could have been saved. Whose family is ruined because of the church, you know, Then you kind of narrow it down that way. Like, I'm not for what this guy did, because this is a terrible thing, right? But, like, it's one of these things where you're like, that Chris Rock joke. I'm not saying he should have killed her, but I understand.

[Adam Carolla]

And they be like, there's a heavy set, bald black man, his mom just died, but he's flying in from Atlanta so we can interview. Oh, wait, he's been detained at the airport.

[Eric Griffin]

You know what I mean? So this is like one of those things, man.

[Unknown]

This is.

[Adam Carolla]

This guy went to. Wait, did he go to Brown? No, he went to Penn. Went to an Ivy League school.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Highly educated.

[Unknown]

Master's degree. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Crazy.

[Unknown]

Yeah. From Maryland. You know that we're not clear on his motive exactly yet. You know that. I'm sure that'll come out in the investigation and it'll take a while to get through this because it's a murder case.

[Eric Griffin]

I don't think it's going to take long at all to find out why he did it. I think it's going to be. I think it's going to be somebody died or somebody was not taken care of and something. It adversely affected their family in a way. And that's going to be the reason.

[Unknown]

Absolutely. The other thing, too, he was a big fan of Ted Kaczynski. He was, you know, like, imagine he wrote. Okay, this is the interesting thing that he wrote sort of reviews for Ted Kaczynski's manifesto and play. Praised it glowingly. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Big Unabomber fan.

[Unknown]

Big Uniballer. And look, a lot of people have said the Unabomber said some quality things inside his manifesto.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the Unabomber had some ideas about technology and Big Brother and that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah. This guy. All right, now let me just try to figure out how my brain works. I never saw a picture of this kid. He had the hood on and he was looking down, but I just saw.

[Unknown]

Well, the joke was he looked like Jake Gyllenhaal. He's a very handsome kind of kid.

[Adam Carolla]

It looked like right now. I just took a. I just looked at him. We'll put him up and you guys can look at him then. Tell me who he looks like is my question. Because I'm curious how my mind works and other minds work. What do you. What do you think this guy looks like?

[Eric Griffin]

He looks like. What's his name? James Franco's brother.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Or the comedian. The comedian that yells. The Italian guy. Oh, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Sebastian.

[Unknown]

Yeah, there you go. He looked because I know. Like, Sebastian.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that what we got, cousin?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, he looks like a girl on the right. I thought it was a girl at first.

[Unknown]

Yeah, he's adorable.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I'll tell you who he looks like when his face is off in that picture. Not in this picture. You gotta give me the first picture.

[Eric Griffin]

He looks completely different.

[Adam Carolla]

First off, when a paisan with huge eyebrows goes down, it disappoints me. You know what I mean? I gotta say, setting you back as a large browed paisan set the movement back. And now I'm not gonna get trusted. This picture he looked. Now he's much younger and he's Italian, he's not German. But he looks like the actor Christoph Waltz.

[Unknown]

Yeah, you think so when you find.

[Adam Carolla]

The right picture of Christoph Waltz, I see what you're saying, you will go that guy looks like this guy or he kind of looks like Christoph Waltz and Sam Morale had a child I think or maybe me and Christoph Waltz.

[Eric Griffin]

He's got a little you.

[Adam Carolla]

I had a kid when I was 18. That's kind of looked that way. All right, so what else is going on? They caught this guy. Good. Sad.

[Unknown]

Yeah, they caught him.

[Eric Griffin]

And is anything going to change, you know like.

[Unknown]

Well that's the thing. That's why I said hero or villain, depending on who you are or talk to on the Internet.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you can't shoot people in the back. That's true.

[Unknown]

The thing is that I think everybody across the spectrum has been harmed in some which way by the insurance companies. So a lot of people have built up resentment.

[Adam Carolla]

But the insurance companies are doing what we let them do. You know, they'll do as much as we let them do. If we shape our society, our government, our Congress around not letting them do what they're they're gonna do. Every business is gonna do the maximum amount they can do. They're gonna do what we do with taxes. I will pay the least amount humanly possible which is still gonna be a fucking boatload. But it's still do not trust me just to voluntarily pay my fair share.

[Eric Griffin]

I think of like airlines are the same.

[Adam Carolla]

They' they'll do the least amount they can do.

[Eric Griffin]

I know but I wish it was like sports, you know, it's like so in sports they test for steroids and the drugs that they're not supposed to do because they want to keep it fair. I mean there's no thing like that for other industries. You know like if there was like where we're going to check and make sure that you're actually doing what you're supposed to be doing because we know that you won't unless we do this.

[Unknown]

There is like every other country they.

[Eric Griffin]

Need a salary cap.

[Unknown]

Every other country does single payer health care but we have this private health care.

[Eric Griffin]

No, no, no.

[Unknown]

Everybody wants to make money.

[Eric Griffin]

No, no. But there's always going to be greed. I don't care what country you're in. That's not ourselves and act like true anywhere there's any kind of capitalism going on, there's going to be people that are going to try to make the most money possible. Okay, we're not. That's not exclusive to the United States. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's humans.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. That's human beings in America. So when you have something like when you have some unregulated business. Okay. That, like, you could. You could just kind of make up the rules and do whatever you want. Want, then there's going to be somewhere along the line somebody's going to be like, huh, you know, we can make more money if we did this.

[Unknown]

Yeah. If you cancel people's insurance and let them die.

[Eric Griffin]

Like, if there was no gambling commission.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Eric Griffin]

Or no. Anything like that, trust me, no one would ever win in Vegas. Ever.

[Unknown]

Yeah, okay.

[Eric Griffin]

It would just be a thing where. Like the slot machines, for instance.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But I would also argue that if nobody ever won, ever, people would immediately stop gambling or going to the casino. So there's some. You have to offer something, otherwise people stop showing up at Caesars.

[Eric Griffin]

I get that, but what. Something like this, though, it's like, you know, like you say, like they. It wasn't. I don't know if this story was true or not, but they were. They had some kind of AI denying 90% of the claims.

[Unknown]

It's true. Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

Okay. So what I'm saying is, like, so like, you. You mean to tell me that there's no insurance committee or somebody that would have been, okay, we need to come in and audit you every year? And they wouldn't have caught that.

[Unknown]

Well, it's hard to argue. You're making so much money, if something bumps up your stock, then why would you argue against it?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they. They have folks that they pay that show up and lobby Congress and that whole world. But every business does it. It should be out for every business.

[Eric Griffin]

That's what I'm seeing. So that's what the government lobbyists stop at us. That didn't. You know. Yeah. This is a bigger Congress. More huge.

[Unknown]

Huge. But anyway, but they got him and he's going to get cooked. And, you know, a lot of people are cheering for him, but. Yeah, you can't shoot people back.

[Adam Carolla]

Ghost gun printed. 3D printed.

[Unknown]

3D printed? Yeah. It's the thing. I. I knew a guy who's all into that. He, like, knew how to make this.

[Adam Carolla]

And what was it made out of?

[Unknown]

Like a polyurethane sort of.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Unknown]

Yeah. So you can.

[Eric Griffin]

3D printed or something.

[Unknown]

You know, the bullets obviously are regular bullets, but this kind of. Yeah, you 3D print each component in a.

[Adam Carolla]

Those guns also euphemism for when you try to beat off for the third time and nothing comes out.

[Unknown]

I been there.

[Adam Carolla]

You've Been there.

[Unknown]

Y.

[Adam Carolla]

We used to call that ghost gunning back in the day.

[Eric Griffin]

Drive. Ro, first of all, can you even remember the last time you were ghost gunning at your age?

[Unknown]

Come on, you're one, you're a one.

[Eric Griffin]

And done type guy.

[Adam Carolla]

That's when I went for the hat trick. Gordy, how was in the lead?

[Unknown]

Hey, next up, Jay Z accused in a civil lawsuit of raping a 13 year old girl in 2000 along with Sean Diddy Combs. Yeah, this is a big deal.

[Adam Carolla]

I think there's going to be more Jay Z stuff coming out. I've never heard great things about.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, this will be the time for it to come out. You know, always takes like one thing and then it.

[Unknown]

Look, we live dominoes.

[Eric Griffin]

We live in a time now where this is the thing. You know, it's like I saw the statement that he put out and it's like, I don't know if I agree with the wording of everything, but I do agree with the sentiment of like, you know, yeah, let's go for the criminal charges.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I'll get to that. Yeah, yeah. The fact that Jay Z did deliver like a powerful statement back to this called the allegations idiotic. And a lengthy statement. These allegations are so heinous in nature that I implore you to file a criminal complaint, not a civil one. Two exclamation points. Whomever would commit such a crime against a minor should be locked away. Would you not agree? And you know, the victims, the alleged victims deserve real justice if that were the case.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I agree. It's like if you're going to remain anonymous and you're not going to bring a legal case against me, then why should anyone believe you?

[Eric Griffin]

Well, if they were 13 in 2000, they're now in their what, 30? Yeah, they're almost 40 now. Right? They're 38 or what's the math?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, they're 37, 38.

[Eric Griffin]

They're a grown ass person now. So it's like, you know, hey, you know, but maybe they're. This is my problem with like when trials are done online and in the public, so now it doesn't matter.

[Unknown]

Well, see, that's the argument you're reading right in your perfect assessment because that's kind of what Jay Z is doing. And their attorney Busby is suddenly coming back. So here's what Jay Z said. He said, you made a terrible error in judgment thinking that all celebrities are the same. I'm not from your world. I'm, I'm a young man who made it out of the projects of Brooklyn. We don't pay, play these type of games. We have very strict codes and honor. We protect children. So he came back with that and the lawyer, the lawyer who filed this case, come back regarding the Jay Z case and his efforts to silence my clients. Mr. Carter, previously denied being the one who sued me in my firm. He filed this frivolous case under a pseudonym.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. Jay Z? Wait, who filed the case?

[Unknown]

So Jay Z, under a pseudonym, apparently filed a case against the lawyer who's doing this. So it's a lot of back and forth. Like legal. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I say this? I had an invention a long time ago to never get caught up in one of these situations for celebrities. It's a condom that comes with a birthmark on it. Now hear me out.

[Eric Griffin]

I'm listening.

[Unknown]

I'm listening.

[Adam Carolla]

You use that condom with that birthmark on it. At some point somebody accuses you of something, and then they say, I know what this guy's penis looks like. He's got a birthmark. Looks like Abe Lincoln's head on the top of his. And then you go, oh, you do? Well, okay. And they go, I'll never forget it. It's very distinct birthmark on the guy's unit. And then at some point you just pull that dork out right in court and goes, anyone see a birthmark on top of my? Case closed, moving forward.

[Unknown]

Case dismissed.

[Adam Carolla]

Case dismissed.

[Eric Griffin]

Man, it's. You know, I. Don't you ever feel old when you see things like this happen where you think like, you know, I always think of like, you know, burden of proof and like the, you know, the justice system and all that. And you think like, people are being tried in the public eye and there's no point in complaining about it anymore. This literally is the world we live in now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

You know, this is the world we live in now where you could say, but what we need now is just a follow up. Like, if he's guilty of these crimes, and I agree, he should go to jail. Right. But if he's not, if this is like, is some frivolous thing and there's some money grab, then someone down the line should be prosecuted of that.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's happened 24 years ago, allegedly. And, you know, I think it's what we were saying earlier, that now that Diddy went down, there's going to be a lot of the Diddy party explosion. And maybe I'm not saying this is the case with Busby and his clients, that there are some people trying to make A buck off of this whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you who knows. Beyonce. Beyonce must know.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

Somebody knows.

[Adam Carolla]

Good or bad, she knows something.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, I'm just tired of all these people talking about how, yeah, I was at the party, but I left before I got crazy. Like, don't even say anything. There isn't one person that would not have gone to one of these parties. It was them even would have just showed up.

[Adam Carolla]

I would have catered. The thing about.

[Eric Griffin]

So it's like, you know the fact that now everybody has to come up. Yeah. I was at the parties because now all these pictures are coming out. I mean, it's. It's terrible.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

I mean, yeah. That nightmare is ongoing as well. I'm always catching this. Ongoing. It's developing. The story is developing. The man who scaled a 19 story building, like Spider man, did it to save his bedridden mother.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Couple things. I wouldn't crawl up a step ladder to save my.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, check this out. If the Healthcare CEO Killer, if they would have done that and said, I'm doing this to bring attention to what this company is doing, would that have been better?

[Unknown]

Yeah, maybe.

[Adam Carolla]

There was a movie starring Robert Urich and Timothy.

[Eric Griffin]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Turk 182.

[Unknown]

Ah, that's the movie's name.

[Adam Carolla]

It was a movie with Bob Yurt from Vegas and SWAT and other stuff.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

About a fireman who got like killed and the mayor didn't give him the family and the insurance and the loved ones and whatever. And he. He like hung off a Brooklyn bridge to get attention for his brother who died and was not compensated for the city. I swear to God. It was called Turk 182. 1981 and 5. 1985.

[Eric Griffin]

What's the Denzel movie where his daughter's sick?

[Unknown]

I know exactly what you're talking about.

[Eric Griffin]

Johnny Season. This is the same kind of actor.

[Adam Carolla]

New York firefighter Rob Robert Yerich.

[Eric Griffin]

Good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Is unable to receive any compensation for an injury incurred during an off duty rescue of a young girl. He grows suicidal, furious. His brother Jimmy Tim Hutton attempts to have the mayor and intervene and corporate whatever this and get justice for that. Ends up hanging off a bridge and trying to shame is what you said. It's like, did it. Did it Big, high profile version of this thing to shame these people. All right, back to the guy climbing the bill because it's a good take.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I want to see this.

[Adam Carolla]

First off, I don't know what kind of building this is, but it's got like chicken wire on all the Balconies, which is not good. He climbs up this thing. Now he gets from one balcony to the next balcony. Sorry.

[F]

He's gonna sit there and let my mom die. I'd rather risk my life falling than let her sit in there and die.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He's finding all the way out the.

[Unknown]

Outside of the building.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sometime after 9:30pm, Jermaine received a call from his sister saying his 65 year old immobile mother couldn't make it out of her apartment on the 15th floor. Jermaine rushed to the scene, but police had blocked off the front door.

[F]

They said they was like, the elevator's not working. I'm like, no problem. I take the steps. I just want to go make sure. My mother, my mother.

[Eric Griffin]

Oh, this is different.

[F]

So I need to get up there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But police wouldn't let Jermaine in. So despite having fractured his hip earlier.

[Eric Griffin]

That day.

[Unknown]

They raised the stakes.

[Eric Griffin]

This sounds like an AI story.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[F]

I was gonna cut a hole in the fence to next door and then, you know, to let her go through.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The fire was contained by the time he reached his mother's floor. She reassured him from the balcony that she was okay. And back down he went.

[Eric Griffin]

Outside.

[F]

She was more shocked. She really not. She don't be surprised at things I do to her. She know I go over and beyond for her.

[Eric Griffin]

So back down he went, expecting a quick arrest once on the ground, but an understanding officer let him go.

[F]

So he actually did come here break because he understanding the circumstances. He knew, you know, you know, when you're adrenaline pumping, your mom up there, you thinking she dying, you do anything you can.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so for the part where he has a fractured hip from earlier that day, not from earlier that month, that sounds crazy. I don't know who diagnosed that.

[Eric Griffin]

You don't know when fires are going to start, you know, on hip day. You know what I mean? What are you supposed to do on hip day? And then your mom, you know, but just reminds me of like, you know, it's just like those parents that were trying to get into that, that school in Texas with the shooter.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

This is one of these things. The guy, the cops are like, no, you can't, you know, and he's like, I mean, there's a certain point where you're trying to say, hey, my mother can't get out of bed and she's on this floor. What are we going to do? I mean, I would like to know that they're like trying to hustle to do something about that. I Mean, the fact that the guy felt like he wasn't being heard, wasn't. He's like, well, I got to go. I'm going to go do this. I think we can all relate to that.

[Unknown]

Well, not only was it that they didn't even mention it, but I got it in the story that not only was his hip broken, he also had some wire cutters handy. So he was well prepared for this excursion. Yeah, he went up and used the.

[Adam Carolla]

Wire cutters to cut his climb into the. Again, the balcony.

[Unknown]

They're all chicken wired off.

[Adam Carolla]

Chicken wired off?

[Eric Griffin]

Well, yeah, because it's like.

[Unknown]

Well, yeah, because people can climb in there.

[Eric Griffin]

Obviously people get this. They look like a project. So obviously, like, you know, you're worried about people climbing across and going into your place and robbing you or whatever it is. I mean, that's like. So you're talking about. This is low income, such a situation. I mean, what. You know, as a fire going on.

[Adam Carolla]

Part of the story. Look, the only reason I played this is an excuse to hear. Ironically, this guy giving the interview at his apartment with the low battery chirp of his smoke detector going off in the background. I think it gets laid over every black interview at this point. Like if we pulled an archival interview of Sammy Davis Jr. From Palm Springs in 1969, there would be a chirp.

[Unknown]

I recently moved out of the hood, and when you walk through, it's crickets everywhere. Just a chirp from this apartment, A chirp from that apartment.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm glad Eric's here for this because I've been onto the. All right, well played again. Now you can listen to it.

[F]

He said they was like, the elevator's not working. I'm like, no problem. I take the steps. I just want to go and make sure my mother.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. How much into fire safety is this guy? Is he all in or is it little catches? Catch cat.

[Eric Griffin]

I don't think he's in. I don't think he's into fire safety at all.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, not at all. He's certainly committed to climbing the outside of a building.

[Eric Griffin]

I just think it would be great. He's interviewing this guy and in the middle of that. You hear that? Can I stop you?

[Adam Carolla]

We have a multi clip. Do we? Sorry, No, I don't know. It says 10 72nd clipped where you can hear the smoke alarm.

[Eric Griffin]

That's crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll try it again then. Let's see. Oh, that was it. I'll play it one more time. So it's pretty pronounced.

[F]

It was like the elevator's not working. I'm like, no problem. I'll take the steps. I just want to go make sure.

[Adam Carolla]

That guy sleeps in that unit every night and that. Okay. I've done extensive testing on this. The chirp goes off between 20 seconds and 30. It's between 28 and 33 seconds. That's the rule.

[Eric Griffin]

It's super annoying.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's loud. Because the underwriters laboratory. When you do a smoke. When you say, I would like to design and sell a smoke detector, someone goes, we got rules. You don't get to just make your own smoke detector and drop it off at Home Depot. We need X amount of decibels for the chirp. We need the low battery chirp to be this loud. And it can't be once a day. It's gotta be, like, every 30 seconds, intermittent, and they never end. And I used to interview people on Loveline all the time, and I would hear, this is back when it was the dominion of white people. This is before it got urbanized. They stole our culture with the low. Now it's a black thing. It's always been a poor thing. It's turned into a black. It's. It's crazy. There is a meme. Have you ever seen that meme? With this, like, natives running and the. The. The smoke detector. Ufo, like, haunting them, like, overhead, People have made memes. Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

I actually have an idea.

[Unknown]

All right.

[Eric Griffin]

On every woman's phone, for every 30 seconds they're late for something, it goes, late detector. A late detector. That's how we'll do it. And it's really annoying.

[Unknown]

I like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you have that? We took it full circle. Somebody made this.

[Unknown]

Aw, that's racist.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. That's why I thought it was funny. That's why I liked it. Here's the point. The point is, I found it ironic that the smoke detector was going off while this guy was talking about a fire, number one. But also the dynamic of you have to sleep in that, I'm guessing, small apartment. And I hear it laughing. During the interview, I used to. People used to call in Loveline. We're talking mid late 90s. And I would hear the thing in the background, and Dr. Drew and I would pace them. I'd go. I'd go off, and I'd see on the clock, okay, 18 seconds. And then I would go. It would come around. When it came around to 30 seconds, I'd go, shh, don't talk.

[Unknown]

Beep.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd pace it again. I loved it. And then when you'd say to people, what's going on with the smoke detective? Their number one answer is, what are you talking about? Yeah, black it out after five, it's going off. And they'd go, oh, that's in. One chick goes, oh, that's in my bedroom. I'm in the. I'm in the living room. I go, it's in your bedroom? Yeah. I'm like, you just go to bed in that room with that thing going off every 30 seconds, you gotta do that, no problem.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, that's what I'm saying. People just.

[Adam Carolla]

They're gone.

[Unknown]

They're gone. He will climb 15 stories, but he will not climb a step ladder.

[Adam Carolla]

That's interesting.

[Eric Griffin]

Who has a step ladder?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, all you need is a step ladder and a 9 volt battery.

[Eric Griffin]

Look, I just bought this. I'm a new homeowner and I've step ladder.

[Adam Carolla]

Everybody owns a home as a step. You need a house.

[Eric Griffin]

This is what I'm saying. I've never lived in a house my whole life. This is the first time.

[Adam Carolla]

Star on the tree, boom.

[Eric Griffin]

So now I'm like, oh, no, no. Now it's about the AC filters. So the guy's showing me around the house and he's telling me all the things. It's a new build home too. So the guy's like, all right, this is how you do this. And remember, you got to change the filters. And I'm like, change the filters? What are you talking about? This is usually I just go, yeah, something.

[Adam Carolla]

Can you.

[Eric Griffin]

Something's up with the ac. Can you come? Now it's like, no, I'm the guy I want to call. My phone's gonna ring.

[Unknown]

You're the landlord.

[Eric Griffin]

So then I'm looking at this. So I bought a ladder, but I bought like a six foot ladder. And then I was like, oh, this is not. You have to have like three ladders when you own a home. You gotta have the little step ladder for something.

[Unknown]

And you.

[Eric Griffin]

You gotta have like the six foot one for like certain things. And then you gotta have like the ten foot one. Cause I had to put this. Cause I had to put like a light. Cause with these new homes, not every room has light fixtures. Like they just have the switch ready with like a blank thing. And you open it up and there are the wires to put the. So I'm like, I'm installing lights and I'm like, what is going on? But I had to get a big ass ladder.

[Adam Carolla]

So the new era, you need an extension ladder. Yeah, yeah, you need an. A frame ladder. You need a step stool inside.

[Eric Griffin]

I'm actually going to have to call you. Can you give me the Corolla list of things the must have homeowner must haves. That would not be a thing, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that is so. It's so funny because I did, I did. I had it happen. I went. Patrick Dempsey was a neighbor of mine up in the Hollywood Hills a million years ago, back when Patrick's career kind of slowed down a little bit, circa 2000 maybe he wasn't doing that much. And he used to come over and borrow a cordless drill and borrow a tape measure and borrow, borrow, borrow, borrow. And one day he didn't have anything going. He had a Rhodesian Ridgeback and he just hung out. He was down Beechwood Canyon a little lower than me and I said, I'm taking you shopping. We're going to the Home Depot. And I took him to the Home Depot in Hollywood. I said, here's your cart and said, I'll push my cart. I said, look, when you're a carpenter, you have your tool bags. You need like a speed square. You need a big construction pencil. You need something called a keel, which was a crayon. You need a 24 foot Stanley tape. You know, you need a couple items in, in your bags. You need a hammer, you need a framing hammer, you need a finish hammer. One's waffle headed, the other smooth headed one. Okay, point is, as I said, get your shopping cart and start following me. And we just walk. And I threw stuff. So you need a cordless drill. I threw a cordless drill in there. I said, you're going to need a tape measure through the tape measure.

[Unknown]

Love it.

[Adam Carolla]

Walked through the whole place, filled it up with 250 bucks worth of shit. I said, you'll never bug me again. You have everything you need, but it's all stupid stuff. Like you get a cordless drill, but you need a magnetic screw cartridge. That's the tip, that's magnetic that you snap the number two or the number three, whatever Phillips head in it. But it's. You don't put that little head right into the chuck of the drill. You get a screw cartridge. He wouldn't have known that.

[Eric Griffin]

I don't know that I have a, I bought a little, I bought like a, like a, maybe like a 3 foot by 5, not 5 foot by 3 by 3, maybe taller than that, actually a tool kit. So then, because then I was like, I had, you know, you know when you, you have tools, they're all over the place. Yeah, you know, where's my screwdriver? And it's like, it's in the TV drawer.

[Adam Carolla]

Drawer.

[Eric Griffin]

Because that one time. So now I grabbed all my tools and I have them in this tool thing. And now I'm like, oh, this is great. Like, I had to put up baby gates, you know. Oh, yeah. I was like, how the hell do you do this? And then I realized I got everything here. You know, it's like, if it's wood, you don't have to put the. You know, you could just screw right into wood and then. But on the. What do you call it? The. What is this?

[Adam Carolla]

The slider door?

[Eric Griffin]

No, no, no, no, no. When you're. The wall.

[Adam Carolla]

The drywall.

[Eric Griffin]

Drywall. Thank you. So I don't know what I'm doing. The drywall. You need to. But the screw thing to make shield. The shield, you see? And I.

[Adam Carolla]

And I realized, give me a toggle. That's probably a shield.

[Eric Griffin]

So what I realized is I've bought these things numerous times, and I just had them laying around the house. So now when I finally bought a house and I. And we moved and I put all the tools in one thing, I'm like, oh, look at this. I have everything I need if I want to put up. If I want to put up pictures. Oh, I got the thing with the hooks and then the drywall thing. And I got a drill. I got two drills. And I'm like, oh, I didn't even know I had two drills.

[Adam Carolla]

Your first out.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Great. Congratulations.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, it does feel good. So, you know, I worked my whole life, you know, just. I just lived in a. You know, I was a single, single parent home with my mom for when I was young, and, you know, we lived in an apartment, and he just lived in an apartment. And you didn't even think about it. And you're like, can I build? Can I own a house? And you live in California. It's. Everything's so expensive. And then I'm really frugal. So I've worked my whole life, my career, and I always put my money away. And then just one day, I have a kid, and I'm like, what am I doing with this money? Oh, I know what I need to do. Let me make sure he has a life I never had. And here I am.

[Adam Carolla]

You're a hero.

[Eric Griffin]

But I said, but it's so funny how often I do think of this guy when I'm like, anything that has to do with, like, I wonder if there's a tool. And I go, you know what? Carolla would.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a tool for everything. All right, you got one more?

[Unknown]

Got one. Last one. Defund the police activist goes viral after begging for help when everything she owned was stolen in San Francisco.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I love this.

[Unknown]

The cops didn't do. Yeah. When thieves made off with Darcy Bell's rented U haul truck, the San Francisco woman put out a call for help on X. If you see a 20 foot, 26 foot U haul truck with Arizona plate AL5003, would you let me know? Because I had like everything I own in it.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, she put that out on X. I know.

[Unknown]

Yeah. That was a bad.

[Adam Carolla]

Getting trolled.

[Unknown]

Yes. So now she's just getting smashed.

[Eric Griffin]

But that sounds. That sounds like. That sounds like rage bait.

[Unknown]

It sounds like it. You know what I mean?

[Eric Griffin]

I don't believe anything on the Internet anymore. People put things like when you see like a super duper fat person trying to act like they're pretty, you know that. That's just rage bait now.

[Unknown]

Yeah, well, but she's keeping.

[Adam Carolla]

Bait's what I called the second in the. When I was going for the three.

[Unknown]

No, that was my ghost gun was third.

[Adam Carolla]

Rage bait was start rage baiting when.

[Eric Griffin]

You can't get to third out that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, it morphs from ghost gun to rage.

[Eric Griffin]

I think people watch the View now to make videos to like, for. For rage bait.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I agree. I. I said. I yelled at the other day. I think they're now more. They're made fun of more than they're actually, you know, earnestly listened to.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, that's Sunny Host. That's Sunny Hoston chick. She. She is like the, the queen of rage bait. Yeah, you know, she's. That's this. That's what the whole thing is. That's how you get engagement. You say something a little offhanded. You, you. And you say it with conviction. And then people just like, there's more videos on the Internet right now about hating that show than they.

[Unknown]

Then I think they get views because engagement pushes.

[Adam Carolla]

But does she know what she's doing? Yeah, she does.

[Eric Griffin]

I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

I see. I'm.

[Eric Griffin]

I think so, man.

[Unknown]

The whole world is Andy Kaufman.

[Eric Griffin]

Look, man, there was, There was a time when I was like, you know, I remember I used to like, like, you hear about Glenn Beck. Remember when Glenn Beck was like. Everybody was like, glenn Beck's crazy. Whatever. Then I thought about. I was like. I was like, man. And then I looked up like, you look, you go to that, the, the. The Fortune magazine or whatever. What's the one that Tells you everybody's money Forbes. And you go, like, I looked it up one day. I said, top earning news anchors. And then I saw that he was making like $80 million. Then I said, oh, yeah, for $80 million, I'll talk like a crazy person. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I see my promise. It's always, I have a moral conundrum, which is I'm not inherently a good person. There's just shit I won't do. And, like, I don't lie so people can lie to me all day. And I just believe it. Cause I'm not a liar myself.

[Eric Griffin]

Interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

And I just don't do it. And so when I hear that, like, well, you know, Kardashian, it was the mom who actually brokered the deal for the tape or whatever it is, I always just go, no, no.

[Eric Griffin]

Why would you do that?

[Adam Carolla]

That's your daughter. No, no. It turned out I didn't think she didn't. But I refuse to believe shit that I would never do. But still doesn't mean a lot of people wouldn't do it.

[Eric Griffin]

But, you know, but even in that situation, what you just said, I think the way people present things, they present it as a moral conundrum. Right? But if you think about the nuance of it, okay, so if her daughter, who already made the sex tape and it's now being released, the mom steps in and goes, might as well make some money. You know what I mean? I'm just saying, like, there's a moment where, like, because what did you see about that only fans girl who's making like, $44 million. She made $44 million. That's the amount of money. That's the amount of money now where you kind of go, oh, I want to make sure now. Well, are you putting money away? Like, if that's your daughter and she's already done it, what are you doing.

[Adam Carolla]

To get 44 million?

[Eric Griffin]

That's the only fans thing now. It's like, you know, there's just people out there. She reported that she had one person that gave her $5 million in the year, throughout the whole year.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, you know, is she doing kinky stuff?

[Unknown]

Probably.

[Adam Carolla]

Who knows?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

But if she never has to actually touch a person and she's doing this thing. Look, we have this thing in our head about sex work, where we're like, sex work? Because that's terrible. Like, if you. If you met a girl who says, like, yeah, well, you know, I get $2,500 every time I sleep with a guy. Okay, we Start to go. We start to go in our mind. Well, $2,500 is not a lot because you're thinking about your own life. Like how much is your rent? How much does it cost to your cost of living? You go, well, that's a lot of guys to keep a certain lifestyle. So we go, yeah, we don't like that. That's the kind of money where you.

[Unknown]

Go, what, so you're saying you're getting into porn?

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, the price is right.

[Eric Griffin]

If the price is right, what are we talking about?

[Unknown]

I can offer you $600 cash.

[Eric Griffin]

I think only fans, women and UFC fighters, they have the same thing. When they, when they get older, they're going to, when they get, when they get family, they're going to be like, I wish I wouldn't have done this.

[Unknown]

I made the comparison before. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, it's the tough life.

[Eric Griffin]

It's a tough life.

[Unknown]

You, you give up a lot. You give up. Some of you steal some from your youth to spend it later.

[Eric Griffin]

And check it out in the only fans. Chicks. Yeah, they don't got to do as much to their body.

[Unknown]

Well, I mean, not the ones you watch.

[Adam Carolla]

Do we have this guy in Christoph Waltz. That's something I asked for some time ago, actually.

[Eric Griffin]

I want to see 18 year old Corolla. I want to see that next to that guy.

[Unknown]

Me too.

[Adam Carolla]

They're not a whole lot of eyebrows photographs of me.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's true.

[Eric Griffin]

We got to go to a dusty photo album in the back of a closet to find.

[Unknown]

I see, I see the Waltz conversant. Okay. Little chin action.

[Eric Griffin]

You know what you're. That's a great. Hey guys back there. Crack staff.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Yep.

[Eric Griffin]

Good find.

[Unknown]

That's the one, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yell at them to put it up there, but. All right. Put it on the screen if you got it. That's all. All right, we take a break. I got more stuff to get into. We'll do that right after this. Oh, what a gift or a digital picture frame. What most people really want around the holidays is to see their favorite people more often. I mean, that's what the holidays are for, right? To see your favorite people. So this year, the best gift you can give is an aura. Digital picture. Picture frame. This thing is amazing. The technology is incredible. The photos. And it's great to see the photos of the family and the kids and the way it all used to be. This is named the number one digital photo frame by wirecutter. And I think they know their stuff. Incredibly smart and easy to use upload unlimited photos and videos direct from your phone to the front frame. Or you can order the frame online and preload it with photos and videos using the Aura app so it's ready to go right out of the box. Your family will love it. It's Aura Digital Frames. Am I right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get 35 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames by using promo code Corolla at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code Corolla. This deal is exclusive to our listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dawson]

Resist aging at the cellular level. Try Qualia senolytic. Go to qualialife.com Adam for up to 50% off and use Adam at checkout for an additional 15% off. For your convenience, Qualia Senalytic is also available at select GNC locations near you. That's Q U a l I a life.com Adam for an extra 15% off your purchase. Thanks to Qualia for sponsoring today's episode.

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[Adam Carolla]

Oh, oh, oh. Riley Auto Parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts is in the business of keeping your car in the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and parts and knowledge that you're going to need to maintain and do the repairs yourself. I've always used O'Reilly I've used to hit the one up on Foothill when I was in La Crescento renting a house, keeping that Isuzu Trooper on the road. And they got thousands of parts and accessories in stock either in their store or online. So you half, well, you don't have to worry. If you're in a jam, you can go online and get your stuff. You can go into a store and get your stuff. The team at O'Reilly Auto Parts can test your battery for free in or out of your car, which is nice because sometimes it's tough to get those babies out of the car. You need your windshield wipers replaced, brake light fixed or a quick service. Well, they'll help you find the right part or point you to the nearest local repair shop as well and get help there. Whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you're going to find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, they're friendly. The professional parts people at O'Reilly O'Reilly Auto Parts, one stop shop for everything, especially if you're a do it yourselfer for your car in store online, you can stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts and do it today or Visit us online. O'REILLY O'REILLY auto.com Adam that's O'Reilly auto.com Adam.

[Dawson]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Eric Griffin]

Hey, Adam, Patrick from Valencia, California, on.

[F]

My way to Las Vegas.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to cross state.

[Eric Griffin]

There's a sign that said turn signals come free with cars. Please use them. Get it on.

[Dawson]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, nobody uses their fucking turn signals out here. Prevent a lot of accidents. I yelled about it all the way through Arizona with my car. All right, now it says here we're going to be Pasadena Ice House tonight. But when I went online, it said start time is 8:15. Well, the doors probably open 7.

[Eric Griffin]

I guess you have a lot of female fans.

[Adam Carolla]

So all young, all hot. Well, you know what it's like. You tour with Matt Ryan.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

That's great. We just did two. We just did an arena. He did an Arena. Man, 12,000 people. It was crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

12,000 people.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. I was looking at this like, wow, you care to see comedy? This is crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that a treat to go out there in front of that bigger crowd or is it nerve wracking?

[Eric Griffin]

I don't even, I don't think of it. I just don't even think about It. I just think, like, the sound is echoing, so I'm like, let me just pace myself. Let me just do this. Like, I'm at the comedy club.

[Unknown]

Timing is different, though.

[Eric Griffin]

No, I'm just gonna do this. Like, I'm in front of 100 people. There's like, big, big. What do you call it? Screens. So people can see you. So it's like, as if you're performing right to whatever section anyway. So I was like, ah, it was great, though. It's great. It's great to see. I've known that kid for over 10 years, so to see this kind of success that he's having right now warms my heart. You know?

[Adam Carolla]

You met him when he was how old?

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, he was like, he hit me up. He did this to a lot of comics at the time. Twitter. He was like, hey, I'm trying to be a comic. And the way he did it, it was so genuine and aggressive in a way that he was like, I just want some time. I'm trying to. And I just befriended him then. So I was in Pittsburgh. I was going to do the Pittsburgh Improv, and he says, hey, can I come open? I was like, sure. I was like, you know what? Come on, come on. And he got on a bus. His mom let him, at 16 years old, whatever was. Get on a bus by himself and come to some strange man off the Internet.

[Adam Carolla]

P. Did he fuck the shit out.

[Eric Griffin]

Of him four months later, you know, and then he. You know, he came and he bombed terribly. And then just the courage that he had to do all that. I always look at him and thought, man, I wish I would have done this when I was this age. And so I've just been in his life, like, you know, ever since. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

So that's a good story.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. Yeah. He's a great kid, man. And it's like, you know, some people would be like, you know, like, he opened for me for many years, and now here I am opening for him on a. And he's doing it on a scale that I never did, so. And I just. I just enjoy watching the process. And he gets so much hate and so much love, but it comes with it when you're like that famous people are going to hate you. Especially in the age of this stupid thing.

[Unknown]

Everybody has an opinion.

[Eric Griffin]

Everybody has an opinion. So the guy is like, you know, I just think that it's wonderful to see, you know, So I always love that one of these kids that I've mentored is finally giving back. And I'M like, yes, I'm a DGA director now because of him, you know, he's got another Netflix special coming out. I directed his two Netflix specials. About to direct another one, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he did the improv one or the crowd work?

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, the crowd would. One in Charlotte and then his first one, you know, and so when's the.

[Adam Carolla]

Next one coming up?

[Eric Griffin]

I'm not sure when that. That's still in the works. So it's like, you know, but, you know. Yeah, that's. Like I said, I have no. I have no. I just think that we live in a different time, that you have to. Not everybody's built. Built for it. Not everybody's built for this business. They think they are, but. But it's like to. No one's mentally equipped to deal with the negativity that comes on the Internet. We're not built for it, man. Like. Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Unknown]

We're just have to adapt to it.

[Eric Griffin]

Even if it's just like, if you. Even if you work at Starbucks and one person walks in and they see you and they go, that shirt today, huh? You're gonna think about that all day, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, do you think future.

[Eric Griffin]

I don't.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't have a. I don't have thing about it.

[Eric Griffin]

I know. Because you're built different, man. Well, you come from a different era. You're built differently. People today are not built to deal with this type of negativity at this level so much, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I think there needs to be a separation between what you really deserve and what. And what you're being called. So it's like, give me an example. I love.

[Eric Griffin]

I love that. But give me an example.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, sometimes someone will attack me. And the young Turks were yelling about me, and they're in Cenk Wigger, whatever his name is. I don't know the guys. The Ben guy, he was like. He was going, adam Carolla doesn't know anything. He doesn't know anything. And I was sort of like, all right, I don't. I don't care. You can't say, I don't know. And I can build a fucking house, you retard. Can you build a house? I have a skill. You know what a carburetum blade is or carbide blade, because I know the difference between a carbide and a carburetor.

[Eric Griffin]

But you say why you're built for it, man, because that's how you're like, the reason why in this script that you thought that part right. There was me. That's the comic brain right there.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, but what I'm saying is there you can say, you know, I once saw Adam do stand up. I was a little disappointed because it was really mostly the same material he did a year ago when I saw him and seem that into it, and I'll go, oh, fuck.

[Eric Griffin]

Right, right.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel bad. And now that did kind of get. Get to me a little bit, you know, so you have to figure out what you're gonna own and what you deserve. And by the way, the shit you deserve doesn't necessarily have to be a negative.

[Eric Griffin]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

You go, well, how about you get your shit together and write some new material so the next time you come into town, you hit them with it, you know? You know what I mean? Like, it's.

[Eric Griffin]

But, but the thing is, is like, you know, you're. You're making sense. That's like a common sense approach. That's our approach of being like, hey, let's make each other better. Let's like, give me the criticism I need. Don't give me the things that, that you're not making any sense now. You're wasting my space with that. That's not how people operate. The rage baiting is real. That's a real thing.

[Adam Carolla]

But so are kids. You have a young child. Is your young child just going to be able to operate within this new world order? Like my. Like, I'll give. Nobody I went to high school with knew how to type. My kids are shit students. But they can type. They can all type. Everyone can type. Dumb kids can type. When I was a kid, dumb kids couldn't type. You had to take it. They can all type because they're on their phones.

[Eric Griffin]

My senior year of high school. High school. In my senior year of high school, that was the last typing course they were going to have at the school.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Eric Griffin]

I actually took typing. Yeah, there was a. I'm talking about.

[Unknown]

We call it keyboarding.

[Eric Griffin]

Check this out. This one don't make any sense. I'm talking math, English, biology, typing. Like, what was going on in that class that they had a full class for it? And now you just. Sometimes even I am on the keyboard and I'm looking at the screen and I realize, hey, I know where all the keys are. I don't know why I know where all these keys are, but I'm doing it. So that's like a, you know, a thing.

[Adam Carolla]

But are you kid's gonna grow up in this cesspool and possibly be equipped from birth to deal with what we're dealing with?

[Unknown]

Well, like, we had, like, an Internet awakening recently where at first it was like, oh, everybody's having fun, and it was very positive. But then everyone got the power of being negative. And that's the era we're in now where you can brigade.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, no, we realize it's like oxycontin.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

There's a lot of dopamine involved.

[Eric Griffin]

This is a real thing now. You know, it's like, look, there are. Other countries are passing laws that you can't have social media until you're 16. They're doing. We're 10 years in now. So people do the studies, you know, and now they're gonna. Now they're seeing. They're going, whoa. Yeah, this actually has a very adverse negative effect on children. And we got to do something. Something about it. But what happens is when there's money involved and there's like, you know, like, look, they gotta get rid of algorithms, because algorithms make you old quick. And I'll tell you why. When you have an algorithm, I'm only listening to music that I listen to my music, you know, so now it's like I listen to my, like, my 1930s, you know, Louis Armstrong stuff that. And then now the thing with the computer goes, oh, that's all you like. So we're gonna show you the. And, you know, I don't know, the new things that are coming out or if you look. You look at one trans girl who looks great from the waist up. Now, your algorithm is like, man, tell me about it.

[Unknown]

Tell me about it.

[Eric Griffin]

Oh, you like chicks with dicks?

[Unknown]

Yeah. Weights down, too.

[Eric Griffin]

So we're gonna. So then, you know, it becomes a thing where you're like, well, wait a minute. How do you see new things? How do you learn new things? They're just giving us, what? It's an echo chamber.

[Unknown]

The algorithm will bump you in the direction it wants you to. And usually that's to spend money.

[Eric Griffin]

Right?

[Unknown]

They want you to, oh, okay, here. Get married. Like, they all spend illegal.

[Adam Carolla]

Tell me.

[Unknown]

I mean.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me ask you this. And if this is. You know, it's like, are they listening? You know, it's like you have long conversation about wanting to get a decent pair of moccasins. And then at some point, you look on your phone, there's a sale for moccasins, and you're like, are they listening?

[Eric Griffin]

I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, tell me this.

[Unknown]

Why wouldn't it?

[Eric Griffin]

AI.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's a weird one. So, Ed. Dustin Ybarra in here and for some reason, we got this funny conversation. We're talking about arroz con pollo. Rice and beans. Spanish Mexican dish. Rice and beans, Right. And we have a laugh about. And then we finished a pod and me and my girlfriend get on an airplane and we go to Oregon to go to my sister's house. And she. My girlfriend wants to have Mexican food and we go to a Mexican food place. We sit down. I look down, I see a rose on the thing. I said, I've never tried it in my life. I learned it in Spanish class. I've eaten Mexican 200,000 times. I would go order tacos and beans and rice and stuff. But I said, I'm ordering a rose con pollo. I'm doing it. It came. It sucked. But then the following day, we were sort of sitting around and she was scrolling through her phone, just looking at all those people she follows that make, you know how to. How to make the best tomahawk steak or the best. You know, I love those. Whatever. She's just looking at food porn. At some point, she's watching a video of a chick making arrows. Can.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm like, you've never seen one? I've never seen a vid you've done. And she's like, yeah. I don't know. It's just on my phone. Did you look at it? They're like, did it here?

[Eric Griffin]

No, but did you go to a place and paid with a credit card?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Oh, what the hell. Now you're getting deep in it. Eagle eye.

[Eric Griffin]

I'm just saying everybody's watching. Connection. I think there's a connection to that kind of stuff. I don't know if they're listening. I don't know if, like, the AI is going like this. Ah, Corolla, Rice and beats. Get the videos over the Corolla. No, I don't think it works like that necessarily, but I do think.

[Unknown]

I think it does.

[Eric Griffin]

I think the AI is really smart.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Griffin]

And I think that it's been. I think it's been activated a long time ago.

[Unknown]

The singularity already happened.

[Eric Griffin]

I think it's hap. It's already out there. And now we're just kind of like. There was like, I would say two. A year and a half ago, we were all very scared of AI Remember? It was just like, they're having a tribunal about it. AI and now there's commercials that come on all the time. Like, you gotta use AI. The iPhone has like, hey, Siri, now look at that. See what it did? It's All AI now.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's like, is there start talking about ladies who are late at the beginning of the show. Is there a thing. I don't know if you guys have done this. It's happened to you, but is there a way to get off the group tag? Because I don't know, sometimes you want.

[Unknown]

To be out of that.

[Adam Carolla]

There's been tough recently. So it's like my sister women go round and round and round, like thanks for the best Thanksgiving ever. And they write back, no thank you. And then they go like, next time we'll bring the. We'll bring the pumpkin pie. And they go, ha ha ha. Thanks. And then they were seriously, it was a great night. And I'm on the. I'm on on it. And I got my earbuds in and I'm running on a treadmill and I'm trying to listen to a podcast, but they won't stop. Turn that off, back and forth.

[Eric Griffin]

How do I get you turn off the notifications and mute.

[Unknown]

Yeah, you mute.

[Eric Griffin]

Swipe left mute within your headphones.

[Unknown]

That too.

[Eric Griffin]

Within the headphone things you go stop. Now turn off announcements. No, no.

[Unknown]

Cuz my sister and my mom go back and forth about everything.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Unknown]

I just have to mute them and.

[Eric Griffin]

Go about my life. I'm in a group chat and this is what my wife's family does. They will name the chat, whatever's happening. So it's like. So it's like Thanksgiving at the Griffins. So there's a whole, you know, and they added everybody into that. And it's like, you know, it just goes on and on and on. You know, it's like, yeah, you know, I just.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a lot of extra nice talk. Right? Unnecessary.

[Eric Griffin]

But that's why Thanksgiving dinners are always bad. Because every year they're bad. Because no one wants to say, like there should be like an anonymous, like, hey, the turkey was dry.

[Unknown]

Oh, anonymous.

[Eric Griffin]

You know, they should be like, hey, the turkey was dry. Let's work on that for next year. But everybody thinks their recipe that they made is really good. Because nobody wants to be like, no negative feedback. Sharon making her turkey again or whoever it is. You know what I mean? That's what it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we should have like, we have secret Santa. We should have secret complainer to get people.

[Eric Griffin]

We are seeing the world in here. That's are saving the world in here. We need a secret complainer. We need the late beep for women's phones.

[Unknown]

So yeah, any of you guys know how to code or we just let the Eggheads in China figure that out.

[Eric Griffin]

Someone's going to come up with that. All right, the secret complaint. I love the secret complainer.

[Unknown]

And I'm going to file a patent dispute.

[Adam Carolla]

Your phone really is listening to you. According to my screen, a marketing firm whose clients include. Because there's no way. A rose con pollo. I've seen her look at a thousand dishes. And no, a rose con pollo has never popped up. But I ordered it.

[Eric Griffin]

Well, you know, at the new arena for the Clippers, you know, it's all face recognition now. They cash, whatever. And they also have microphones at the seats.

[Unknown]

Well, I was pissed because I went to the.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, no, there's microphones because, you know, when they go, let's make some noise. And they're like, you know. But I feel like there's also a guy like, okay, there he is. He's the CEO of what you call it, talking to.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Eric Griffin]

And he just.

[Adam Carolla]

Leonard DiCaprio.

[Unknown]

Vladimir Putin's listening to everything.

[Eric Griffin]

It's like at this point you go.

[Unknown]

I mean, well, I was pissed because I went to that meta shop. They have some weird pop up and they had the Ray Ban glasses.

[Eric Griffin]

Oh, I have some.

[Unknown]

Yeah. You could record video off of them. They have a thing. And. And what made me mad was that I looked at a picture and went, who am I looking at right now? And it said, oh, I'm sorry, I don't do. You know, I don't give information about people or what they're wearing. And I'm like, wait a minute, what is the. I know you know who this is because meta. I remember back in like 2010, I put a picture of some girl on my Facebook and it immediately popped up. That was her. I didn't even know her name until that moment.

[Eric Griffin]

I love that you're talking about this. That tells me that it can.

[Unknown]

It can.

[Eric Griffin]

And somebody said, we can't let that get yet.

[Unknown]

No, I followed this a while back.

[Eric Griffin]

That's what all this is, that we're.

[Unknown]

Going to stop doing facial recognition on Facebook. Not that we don't have the data. They do. So they have all the cases logged.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah. Who am I looking at? Yeah, the information should come on the screen.

[Unknown]

I don't think me and you are like that, but I don't think the rest of the society. I don't know. What do you think about it, Adam?

[Adam Carolla]

I like less information. I look at information as burdensome. I find most people, again, it's kind of a female thing. They try to extract information. What did he say? About it. He said, your pussy smells. You feel good now. Like, you know, there's a lot of. What. When people say, you know, so and so was talking shit on Reddit about you, I go, I don't. I'm fine. I don't need it. I'm watching a Love Boat. I'm good. I'm good. I don't think the inform. Information begats more information. It's just more information faster. All it is is you get some weird blood lust for information. It's all narcissistic. It's like stuff about me. Stuff about me.

[Unknown]

Surprised at your answer because you a man. I mean, but I don't want any of it. But. But a man who obviously knows a lot and, like, studies a lot of stuff about stuff. You think. I mean, you just want to know about the Love Boat and not.

[Adam Carolla]

I went off the group chat. That's all I want. I went off the group chat.

[Eric Griffin]

The. The height of love you have for someone at its height, you know when that is, is when you don't know anything about it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Eric Griffin]

Because you fill everything else in with fantasy. It's when you start dating someone and get to know them. Then you start to go, oh, you don't know how to do the dishes, or, oh, you don't keep the jelly in a good place, or, oh, you're putting your.

[Adam Carolla]

I remember the time I found out the marmalade went bad. Yeah. I was pretty devastated.

[Eric Griffin]

You know, I'm saying, you're right. All that information you can start to gather and gather.

[Adam Carolla]

See?

[Unknown]

But isn't loving somebody like loving them despite their flaws as well? Like, even if they don't have that many flaws, like loving them for nuance? Because when you know somebody, when you don't know anybody, it's easy to be, I love this person.

[Eric Griffin]

But then when you know, you know that. What I'm saying is that's when the relationship is strong, is because I now have gathered all this information about you and I'm staying. There isn't one relationship that you could say, how long have you. Are you in a relationship? Relationship. Okay, so all that you know about this person right now, if you had a time machine to go back to when you first met them, would there be some things you'd be like, oh, you know, I know I'm gonna love you, but there's like a couple of hiccups that we can work on now.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen. They most should come with a warning label, y'all.

[Unknown]

You've been. You've been brushing your hair for 45 minutes.

[Eric Griffin]

Yeah, like, it'd be like things like, hey, can you not have the hair in the shower like this?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, how about just the party being tardy? I mean that alone.

[Eric Griffin]

What I'm saying is that you gathered this. So what he's saying is, I totally agree. If I meet someone and I'm getting all the information about you on a screen on my glasses before you might decide, hey, what's up? My name's Eric. And you go, I might be deciding by what I see coming up here. I'll be like, oh, I don't want any further.

[Unknown]

Listen, I don't want anyone.

[Eric Griffin]

I don't want to go any further.

[Adam Carolla]

What I came up with from doing Loveline for all those years is a saying that said, less history, more mystery. Because I would talk to guys all the time and you don't like porn. They go. They go, oh, my boyfriend. You know, my girlfriend told me that she slept with this guy who was my best friend in high school. And now I can't get it out of my head kind of thing. And I'm like, you didn't have to know this. Yes, I did not have to know that.

[Unknown]

Past that, you know, he could.

[Eric Griffin]

Not everybody can.

[Adam Carolla]

But why is he trying even? You know what I mean, why volunteer it is all I'm saying.

[Eric Griffin]

Unless people ask.

[Adam Carolla]

If they ask for me.

[Eric Griffin]

I wanted to know. I wanted to see my wife. I wanted to see. I need to see what your dad looks like. And I need to see what a couple of your boyfriends look like. And I'll tell you why. Then I know if she has a type or not. See, if I go out with this because my wife's a very attractive, good looking lady. All right? If I were to see a bunch of fuckboys on her thing, then I'd be like, you're not. What? Why are you. What? Something's going on here. But I saw her father. Super tall, heavyset dude. I saw a couple of the boyfriends where I was like, oh, okay, you do like guys like me.

[Adam Carolla]

How can you tell they were unfunny from just looking at their picture? Thanks for watching, guys.

[Eric Griffin]

You'll see Adam tonight at Pasadena.

[Unknown]

I'll be right back.

[Adam Carolla]

We're not going going to do any better than that. Let's give Erica a plug. Hollywood Improv coming up. December 20th and then Anchorage. Beautiful.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I'm going to be an Anchorage fishing something. Give me some pictures. It's going to be really cold.

[Eric Griffin]

It's December 26th. It's going to be super cold, so I'll get better. And it's Eric and friends. I'm doing it in the lab at in in improv. I love working on new stuff. So come on out and check me out.

[Adam Carolla]

You got upco.com for all the live shows. Solana beach coming coming up. Covina coming up. Naples, Florida, coming up. So just go down crow.com for all that. And until next time, Zachroll for mayhem and Eric Griffin saying mahalo.

[Dawson]

Leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and remember to get tickets to CDA's [e-mail].

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