Adam Carolla Show: Greg Fitzsimmons + David Alan Grier (Carolla Classics) Release Date: February 15, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of Carolla Classics, Adam Carolla revisits some of the most memorable moments from previous episodes, featuring a mix of recurring guests like Brian Bishop, Michael Madsen, Kyle Kanane, Greg Fitzsimmons, Gina Grad, and Allison Rosen. The episode delves into a range of provocative and humorous topics, blending dark humor with candid discussions.

1. Marooning Sex Offenders on Santa Rosa Island

Timestamp: 01:13 – 04:31

The discussion kicks off with a controversial topic about California gubernatorial candidate Douglas Hughes and his proposal to create an island sanctuary for convicted sex offenders on Santa Rosa Island. Brian Bishop humorously critiques the idea:

• Brian Bishop (01:13): "But Serge Poles was my gay foreign name. Sergeant Serge Poles, power bottom extraordinaire. Oh no, that's right."

The hosts debate the feasibility and ethics of such proposals, blending satire with unsettling humor.

2. Personal Anecdotes on Sexual Offenses

Timestamp: 04:38 – 07:18

Brian and Michael share personal stories related to encounters with sex offenders, offering a grim yet humorous perspective:

• Brian Bishop (03:04): "Most sex offenders don't have one victim. Mostly they have multiple victims."
• Michael Madsen (05:51): "I was so excited to get the candy. And then I said, you know what? I'm just gonna take my Reese's and go."

These anecdotes provide a raw and candid look at sensitive issues, handled with the show's signature irreverence.

3. Introducing Kyle Kanane: Crosswalk Flags in Kirkland

Timestamp: 07:21 – 09:36

Kyle Kanane joins the conversation, bringing his comedic flair to the discussion about unique crosswalk flags in Kirkland, Washington:

• Kyle Kanane (08:11): "They literally have yellow flags that you wave as you cross the street."

Giovanni Strasser narrates how Adam Carolla turned this local oddity into a hilarious comedic bit, highlighting the show's knack for finding humor in everyday situations.

4. Fireworks Dangers: Personal Experiences

Timestamp: 09:36 – 20:58

The hosts delve into the dangers associated with fireworks, sharing personal mishaps and exaggerated scenarios:

• Brian Bishop (17:08): "If we took an M200 and we twisted the fuses together... someone loses an eye. That's what happens."

Michael and Kyle contribute stories that blend humor with a cautionary tone about the unpredictability of fireworks.

5. Funeral Stories: Eating Faces and Afterlife

Timestamp: 20:58 – 33:04

A darkly humorous segment explores bizarre funeral narratives and afterlife scenarios, including a fictional account of a man obsessed with eating faces:

• Adam Carolla (22:42): "He was heartless. He seemed like someone who would eat the face off a man and leave the goatee."

The conversation transitions into philosophical musings on heaven and judgment, all wrapped in the show's typical comedic style.

6. 1970s Songs and Pedophilia Themes

Timestamp: 34:26 – 50:31

The hosts critique and satirize 1970s music, pointing out problematic lyrics that imply or directly reference pedophilia and sexual assault:

• Brian Bishop (37:38): "This was like a pedophile anthem."
• Gina Grad (42:29): "70 is a great time to be a pedophile and a sociopath."

They dissect famous songs, highlighting how certain themes were normalized in past decades, juxtaposing them with modern sensibilities.

7. Revenge Porn Case

Timestamp: 50:38 – 55:38

Allison Rosen presents a news segment on the conviction of Christopher Bolert for operating a revenge porn website:

• Allison Rosen (52:36): "He ran the website yougotposted.com where users could anonymously post nude photos without consent."

The hosts mock the severity of the punishment relative to the nature of the crimes, blending satire with commentary on internet privacy and cybercrimes.

8. Embarrassing Stories with Greg Fitzsimmons and Others

Timestamp: 55:38 – End

Greg Fitzsimmons joins the panel to share embarrassing on-air stories, adding a light-hearted end to the episode:

• Greg Fitzsimmons (58:14): "Guys all like to shave their balls. I say, yeah, she likes how it feels the first night. Four nights later, it feels like you're spanking in there in taint with a cactus."

The segment features playful banter about personal grooming habits and humorous takes on everyday mishaps, showcasing the camaraderie among the hosts.

Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show exemplifies the show's ability to tackle controversial and sensitive topics with a blend of dark humor and candid conversation. From dissecting political proposals and controversial songs to sharing personal anecdotes and satirical news segments, the hosts provide an unfiltered and engaging listening experience. The inclusion of various guests like Greg Fitzsimmons and Kyle Kanane adds depth and diversity to the discussions, making it a standout episode in the Carolla Classics series.

Notable Quotes:

• Brian Bishop (01:13): "But Serge Poles was my gay foreign name. Sergeant Serge Poles, power bottom extraordinaire. Oh no, that's right."

• Brian Bishop (03:04): "Most sex offenders don't have one victim. Mostly they have multiple victims."

• Kyle Kanane (08:11): "They literally have yellow flags that you wave as you cross the street."

• Brian Bishop (17:08): "If we took an M200 and we twisted the fuses together... someone loses an eye. That's what happens."

• Adam Carolla (22:42): "He was heartless. He seemed like someone who would eat the face off a man and leave the goatee."

• Brian Bishop (37:38): "This was like a pedophile anthem."

• Allison Rosen (52:36): "He ran the website yougotposted.com where users could anonymously post nude photos without consent."

• Greg Fitzsimmons (58:14): "Guys all like to shave their balls. I say, yeah, she likes how it feels the first night. Four nights later, it feels like you're spanking in there in taint with a cactus."

Note: This summary aims to reflect the content and tone of the episode accurately. Listener discretion is advised due to the sensitive and provocative nature of some topics discussed.