The Adam Carolla Show (Carolla Classics)

Guests: Greg Fitzsimmons & Kevin Sorbo

Episode Date: February 8, 2026

Overview

This special "Carolla Classics" episode revives memorable moments from the history of The Adam Carolla Show, featuring two prominent segments: an irreverent roundtable with comedian Greg Fitzsimmons and another with actor Kevin Sorbo. The show, as always, delivers Adam's signature blend of unscripted comedy, sharp commentary, and candid cultural conversations. This compilation includes hilarious rants, personal storytelling, and a deep dive into topics ranging from hospital policies and pop culture to American and international oddities.

1. The Bridal Shop Ebola Scare & Hospital Gown Stories

Featuring: Greg Fitzsimmons, Allison Rosen, Brian Bishop, Gina Grad
[00:54–09:09]

Key Points & Insights

• Ebola Fear at Ohio Bridal Shop:
  The team discusses how a nurse, later diagnosed with Ebola, visited a bridal store, leading to its short-term business collapse.

  • Adam cracks dark jokes on the shop’s funereal ambiance.

    "This marriage is gonna last forever because you’re never fucking leaving this casket." — Adam Carolla [01:30]

• Absurd Hospital Gown & Surgery Procedures:
  The gang riffs on how hospital gowns inevitably reveal patients' butts, segueing to experiences with medical procedures, including Allison’s uterine surgery and Adam’s wrist operation.

  • Adam goes off about the oddities of hospital protocol, like stripping for wrist surgery:

    "My hand could not get further away from my junk. Why do you need my underpants?" — Adam Carolla [05:30]

  • Adam’s theory: Most medical instructions are really more about preventing the staff from dealing with accidental patient messes.

2. Cashew Taste Wars, Whale Smarts & Whale Sashimi

Featuring: Jo Koy, Mike Lawrence, Allison Rosen
[09:24–27:23]

Key Points & Insights

• Cashew Debate:
  Allison updates the group on her husband’s apparent cashew aversion, prompting Adam to defend the nut’s reputation.

  "Cashews are delicious. I buy them at truck stops...delicious little hot lamp on it." — Adam Carolla [10:01]

• American Media’s Whale Obsession:
  Adam riffs on why U.S. news is obsessed with whales and their protection, steering into a satirical take on whale intelligence.

  • Philosophical musings on what whales perceive when encountering container ships:

    "You really should be able to get out of the way of something that’s the size of the Chrysler Building." — Adam Carolla [16:38]

  • Joy-Koy bit: Adam (and the crew) counter Japan’s traditional whaling with invented dialogue ("Adam Carolla sashimi"), poking fun at cross-cultural contradictions.

3. Race Track Room Rates & Social Correctness

Featuring: Jo Koy, Brian Bishop, Allison Rosen
[29:24–31:53]

• Adam discusses overhearing a coworker’s hotel rate gaffe, debating whether to correct people’s honest mistakes, especially when witnessed by others.

  "There are plenty of dickheads that do number one. There could be somebody who actually thinks it’s $271 a month, even though I didn’t." — Adam Carolla [30:56]

4. The "Brown Sugar vs. White Sugar" Pantry Play

Featuring: Jo Koy, Brian Bishop, Allison Rosen, Gina Grad
[35:44–46:14]

Segment Highlight:
Jo Koy and Adam dramatize a mock racial showdown between pantry items, lampooning stereotypes, with brown sugar and white sugar characters arguing about their pantry status, dessert contributions, and, humorously, genitalia.

"White sugar got little dicks, you know, Brown sugar got big, fat sugar cane dicks... that’s the problem." — Jo Koy (as Brown Sugar) [36:43]

5. “Bring It Back Week” — Nostalgic Comfort Foods

Featuring: Gina Grad, Brian Bishop
[47:02–52:23]

• Discussion about classic American comfort food—pineapple upside-down cake, Irish stew, tuna casserole, egg salad sandwiches—prompting a mix of nostalgia and laughter.

  "I could go for a good tuna casserole... it's been decades." — Adam Carolla [51:52]

6. Respect in Comedy, Booking Myths, and Adam’s Stand-Up Style

Featuring: Brian Bishop, Allison Rosen, Jo Koy
[53:18–55:44]

• Adam addresses misconceptions about comic competitiveness, debunking rumors that he avoids funny guests:

  "If you’re funny... you come on early and often as much as humanly possible." — Adam Carolla [54:34]

7. Whales, Sushi, and Japanese Culture (Kevin Sorbo Segment)

Featuring: “Japanese guest” (likely impersonation), Brian Bishop, Adam Carolla
[21:46–27:09]

• Satirical take on Japanese whaling tradition and technological advancement, lampooning stereotypes and international culinary habits.

  "You guys invent everything... Couldn’t you make, like, imitation whale fat?" — Adam Carolla [24:54]

8. Audience Q&A, Hollywood Respect, Parenting, and Life Stories

Featuring: Gina Grad, Adam Carolla, callers
[56:04–67:52]

Key Points

• Not Having a “Category” in Hollywood:
  Adam reflects on how bouncing between genres has hindered his recognition.

  "If you hop around as much as I hop around, you don’t really get credit for the one thing." — Adam Carolla [58:22]

• Parenting Stories — Children’s Temperaments & Detachment from Materialism:
  Adam shares anecdotes about his son’s cautious nature and lack of interest in consumerism:

  "He goes through the Monterey Aquarium and then walks right past the gift shop and doesn’t even slow down." — Adam Carolla [69:38]

9. Adam’s Cinematic Bucket List

Featuring: Gina Grad, Brian Bishop
[78:28–85:41]

• Outlandish Life Goals:
  Adam lists the over-the-top things he’d like to do “before dying”—from registering his hands as weapons to jumping off a pier into a garbage barge, tracking a fugitive by sifting dirt, and playing bass as the only white guy in an all-Black band.

  "Have my hands registered as weapons... be killed by the person I told to kill me if I start to become a zombie." — Adam Carolla [79:09+]

10. Faith-Based Filmmaking & Cultural Commentary (Kevin Sorbo & Sam Sorbo)

Featuring: Kevin Sorbo, Sam Sorbo, Adam Carolla
[94:00–106:07]

Key Points & Insights

• Making “Let There Be Light”:
  Kevin and Sam Sorbo discuss their faith-based film’s distribution strategy and market for uplifting content outside Hollywood's traditional demographic focus.
  • Adam points out the value of making movies for “underserved” flyover states.

    "If there’s a street and it’s covered with Mexican food joints, then open a Thai food joint... find this group of people that's being ignored." — Adam Carolla [96:49]

• Atheism vs. Religion Satire:
  Adam and Kevin discuss the “religion” of atheism and the pointlessness of militant non-belief activism.

  "I never wanted to burn a calorie being an atheist..." — Adam Carolla [99:49]

11. News, Modern Culture, and Social Satire

Featuring: Gina Grad, Brian Bishop, Adam Carolla
[106:37–128:44]

• Gina delivers nine news stories with the gang firing off punchlines about Justin Timberlake’s Super Bowl gig, lottery-winning betrayal, Canada’s legal system, and Kyrie Irving's profane fan reply:

  (On Canada’s lottery winner attempting to flee): "The great thing about dumb people, when dumb people run into cash, they can never hide their..." — Adam Carolla [110:01]

Memorable Quotes

• “Because it looks like a mortuary. It looks like a mortuary.” — Adam Carolla [01:18]
• “If you shit yourself, we don’t want to hassle with it.” — Adam Carolla [07:24]
• "My point is, it led the news, it was the whales, and it turns out they are getting into shipping lanes and they could theoretically be getting hit by container ships." — Adam Carolla [13:00]
• "White sugar got little dicks, you know, Brown sugar got big, fat sugar cane dicks..." — Jo Koy (as Brown Sugar) [36:43]
• "You guys invent everything... Couldn’t you make, like, imitation whale fat?" — Adam Carolla [24:54]
• "If you’re funny... you come on early and often as much as humanly possible." — Adam Carolla [54:34]
• "Have my hands registered as weapons... be killed by the person I told to kill me if I start to become a zombie." — Adam Carolla [79:09]
• "I never wanted to burn a calorie being an atheist..." — Adam Carolla [99:49]

Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Bridal Shop & Ebola: [00:54–03:14]
• Hospital Gown & Underwear Rant: [05:30–08:21]
• Whale Smarts & Satire: [13:00–21:11]
• "Brown Sugar" Riff: [35:44–46:14]
• Nostalgic Foods: [47:02–52:23]
• Adam’s Hollywood Respect: [58:18–60:39]
• Kevin & Sam Sorbo Interview: [94:00–106:07]
• Bucket List Discussion: [78:28–85:41]
• Expanded News Segment: [106:37–128:44]

Tone & Style

The episode maintains Adam’s trademark irreverence, wit, and friendly “insult comedy.” Guests and co-hosts blend into Adam’s rhythm, riffing with him on the absurdities of daily life, cultural contradictions, and the strange logic of American institutions. The roundtable format is loose, conversational, and packed with throwaway gags and zinger comebacks.

In Summary

This Carolla Classics entry revisits some of the best unscripted and side-splitting moments from The Adam Carolla Show’s rich history. The rotating cast delivers everything fans expect—life lessons delivered irreverently, cultural critiques, weird news, and a healthy dose of sarcastic nostalgia. Whether it’s the fate of a “plagued” bridal shop, the mysteries of whale cognition, or an epic pantry showdown between brown and white sugars, fans old and new will find something to make them laugh, wince, and think.