Hank Azaria + Brian Posehn (Carolla Classics)

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show – Episode: Hank Azaria + Brian Posehn (Carolla Classics) Release Date: July 6, 2025

In this engaging installment of "Carolla Classics," The Adam Carolla Show revisits some of its most memorable moments, featuring an in-depth conversation with renowned actor Hank Azaria alongside longtime co-host Brian Posehn and Gina Grad. The episode seamlessly blends humor, insightful discussions on pop culture, personal anecdotes, and entertaining segments that showcase the dynamic chemistry between the hosts and their guests.

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Introduction to Carolla Classics

The episode kicks off with host Adam Carolla introducing "Carolla Classics," a special segment dedicated to replaying the best moments, highlights, and fan-favorite clips from over 16 years of the show. Listeners are reminded of the availability of ad-free archives through Podcast One Premium and encouraged to engage with the show's extended content via Substack and Patreon.

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Movie Review: Trainspotting 2

[02:21 – 05:09]

The hosts dive into a nostalgic discussion about the film "Trainspotting 2," celebrating its 20th anniversary. Brian Bishop, affectionately dubbed "Lil Baldiwood," humorously critiques movie tastes before transitioning into a heartfelt appreciation of the original "Trainspotting."

Notable Quote:

• Adam Carolla ([05:05]): "It's hard to overstate how important Trainspotting was in a young, balding Brian's life."

The conversation highlights Danny Boyle's impactful career, Ewan McGregor's rise to stardom, and the film's enduring legacy. The hosts emphasize the necessity of watching the original to fully appreciate the sequel, drawing parallels to other iconic film franchises.

Notable Quote:

• Brian Bishop ([05:15]): "You definitely need to see the first one. This is not a movie you can jump in and see without seeing the first one."

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Interview with Hank Azaria

[27:03 – 48:00]

Hank Azaria joins the show to discuss his latest project, "Brockmire," a show centered around Jim Brockmire, a baseball announcer dealing with personal and professional turmoil. The conversation delves into Hank's approach to character development, his experiences voicing beloved characters on "The Simpsons," and his journey toward embracing his authentic self in acting.

Notable Quotes:

• Hank Azaria ([28:31]): "I'm a mimic at heart. I became an actor because I wanted to be anybody but myself."
• Brian Bishop ([30:30]): "It's like you're a huge guy and you're getting recruited to play football... Why should he work?"

Hank shares insights into his role on "Ray Donovan," his passion for sports, and his involvement in education through his nonprofit. The interview also touches on the challenges of maintaining personal identity amidst a prolific acting career.

Notable Quote:

• Hank Azaria ([31:22]): "Only feel like in the last five years am I comfortable and feel like I have fluidity, just kind of being myself on camera."

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Funny Stories and Personal Anecdotes

[48:00 – 67:00]

The hosts share a series of humorous and relatable stories, ranging from Brian's frustrating experiences with airline overbookings to nostalgic high school memories. These segments are rich with laughter and camaraderie, showcasing the hosts' ability to turn everyday mishaps into entertaining narratives.

Notable Quote:

• Brian Bishop ([16:07]): "They have a world class pussy on their hand and they're dragging him off because he's not going voluntarily."

A particularly memorable moment involves Brian recounting a harrowing incident where a $50,000 gig was jeopardized due to lost luggage and subsequent airport chaos, interspersed with comedic relief from Adam and Gina.

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Sports Discussions

[34:09 – 44:23]

A passionate segment dedicated to sports, the hosts discuss legendary athletes like Randy Moss, Michael Jordan, and Jacob deGrom. They explore the interplay between innate talent and work ethic, debating how athletes adapt their games as they age or face physical limitations.

Notable Quote:

• Hank Azaria ([44:23]): "Recognizing you have so much God-given ability could also spur you on to say, 'I need to do right by this.'"

The conversation extends to current sports phenomena, including a Japanese phenom pitcher, illustrating the hosts' deep appreciation and knowledge of the sports world.

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Nerd Walking Segment

[76:10 – 95:32]

In the "Nerd Walking" segment, Brian Posehn and Gina Grad challenge themselves to engage with self-proclaimed nerds at local events, posing trivia questions about sports and pop culture. This interactive segment not only entertains but also highlights the hosts' playful competitiveness and social exploration.

Notable Quote:

• Brian Bishop ([90:00]): "They're all virgins. It's time for nerd walking, cuz you are nerds."

The segment is filled with light-hearted banter and amusing exchanges, reinforcing the show's signature humor and the hosts' ability to connect with diverse audiences.

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Closing Remarks and Final Banter

[95:32 – 97:49]

As the episode wraps up, the hosts engage in a final round of humorous interactions, reflecting on their shared experiences and teasing future content. The playful insults and affectionate jabs epitomize the relaxed and entertaining atmosphere that "The Adam Carolla Show" is celebrated for.

Notable Quote:

• Brian Bishop ([97:49]): "Until next time, mahalo and get it on."

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Conclusion

This episode of "The Adam Carolla Show" masterfully balances humor, insightful interviews, and engaging segments that resonate with both longtime listeners and newcomers. Hank Azaria's candid discussion about his career and personal growth, combined with the hosts' entertaining anecdotes and vibrant interactions, make for a compelling and memorable podcast experience.

Key Takeaways:

• Hank Azaria's Journey: From voicing iconic characters to embracing his true self in acting, offering inspiration for personal and professional growth.
• Nostalgia and Pop Culture: Revisiting influential films like "Trainspotting" and discussing their lasting impact.
• Humorous Storytelling: Turning everyday frustrations and memories into laughter-filled narratives.
• Sports Passion: Deep dives into the worlds of various sports and the athletes who shape them.
• Interactive Segments: Engaging with the community through fun and challenging activities like "Nerd Walking."

For fans seeking a blend of comedy, candid conversations, and cultural insights, this episode stands out as a quintessential "Carolla Classics" moment that encapsulates the essence of The Adam Carolla Show.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Gina Grad]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian Bishop]

And insight from leading professionals and experts.

[Adam Carolla]

On better health, relationships, career, finance, investing and more.

[Gina Grad]

Maybe you want to kick a bad.

[Brian Bishop]

Habit or start a good one?

[Adam Carolla]

If you're interested in learning how to master your emotions and hearing scientifically backed advice for using your emotions as a tool, may I suggest Shift by psychologist and bestseller author Dr. Ethan Cross. Trust me, listening on Audible can help you reach the goals you set for yourself. Start listening today when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com wondery that's audible.com wondery did you.

[Gina Grad]

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[Brian Bishop]

Foreign.

[Adam Carolla]

Classics I'm your host super fan Giovanni.

[Brian Bishop]

This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years the Adam Carolla Show. We have a separate podcast feed titled Cruel Classics available through Podcast One Premium. You can find ad free archives for this show. If you like to find ad free archives for the Adam Corolla show The Adam and Dr. Drew Show More exclusive access to the brand new podcast Beat It out. Check out Adam Corolla's substack adamcola.substack.com and.

[Adam Carolla]

If you'd like to request a clip.

[Brian Bishop]

Please email us classicsdamcorolo.com Once again, we cannot play any Loveline material nor any.

[Adam Carolla]

Material from the Adam Carolla show that.

[Brian Bishop]

Air on kayla sex from 2006 to 2009 that immediately precedes the Adam Carolla Show Podcast for that material. It is available elsewhere. For more information, check out my patreon.

[Adam Carolla]

Patreon.Com Giovanni if you have any questions, I'll help you out. All right, let's get to the clips coming up.

[Brian Bishop]

First we have Adam Krolishow 2049 Hank Azaria Gina Grad Brian Bishop 2017.

[Gina Grad]

All.

[Brian Bishop]

Right now Lil Baldiwood. Hooray for Baldiwood. He will tell you if a movie's good. Brian will review the flicks that he's seen up on the big screen or in his Netflix queue. Before you spend bucks, remember, his taste sucks.

[Hank Azaria]

He loved that trait.

[Brian Bishop]

Wreck piece of Transformers to hooray for Baldy War.

[Adam Carolla]

Trainspotting 2 is in theaters now. It is directed by Danny Boyle, who has amassed quite the eclectic career ever since he came out with. Well, Trainspotting was his second film. You guys ever see Shallow Grave?

[Gina Grad]

No, Never heard of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Shallow Graves. Listen, everyone listening. That's a $3 rental on, like, itunes and Amazon. That is well worth your time. That's a sort of very gritty, very young. It might have been Ewan McGregor's first movie. It's about a bunch of roommates who they invite someone else to live with them, like a third person. He dies, but he leaves a whole bunch of money. And like, now it's like, oh, what do we do with the body? What do we do with the money? It's very Coen Brothers esque from back in the day. You guys would like it.

[Brian Bishop]

What year?

[Adam Carolla]

94 there.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, this sounds familiar. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

But best known as being the pre Trainspotting Danny Boyle movie. So trainspotting 1996 from the director.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, they put it on there later, the DVD release, something like that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Danny Boyle, of course, 28 days later, Slumdog Millionaire, 127 hours, and of course, Trainspotting. Everyone's back for this one. Ewan McGregor's back, who you recently had on Car Cash, right?

[Brian Bishop]

I think I had him for Tick and knee. I think is what it had him for.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he was talking about a car thing.

[Gina Grad]

He's so dreamy.

[Adam Carolla]

He's very dreamy. Plays Mark Renton, Robert Carlisle. All these guys have gone on to be big stars ever since. They were kind of unknowns. And remember, Carlisle was a. Was a Bond villain at one point. Johnny Lee Miller, he was. He's in a. He's in a TV show. Bones or. Yeah, no, Sherlock Holmes.

[Brian Bishop]

Blue Bones now.

[Adam Carolla]

Holmes, Sherlock and whatever that stupid show is. Scorpion Blue Boss, Ewan BREMMER, Even Kelly McDonald was back. She was the wife in no country.

[Brian Bishop]

For Old Men, Prison Break, Scorpion Blue Boss, one of those.

[Adam Carolla]

One of those iterations. So when a sequel comes out to a movie this far after the fact, you have sort of one of two avenues. You can go sort of Blues Brothers 2000. Like, why does this exist? Let's pretend this never happened. Let's never speak of this again. Or you can kind of go like, before sunrise, you know, or before sunset. Before sunrise. Ethan Hawke And Julie Delpy. And that was like, oh, these characters are back in our lives. And now I can see what happened after.

[Gina Grad]

You know, they're aware of the time that's passed.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's a welcome sort of like, oh, welcome back into my lives, everyone. So, Trainspott, did you guys see train spotting?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. It's hard to overstate how important Trainspotting was in a young, balding Brian's life. I had the vhs. I had the DVD after. I still own the dvd. I had the poster above my dorm room bed for all throughout college soundtrack. I mean, I remember where. I remember I bought the soundtrack at the Tower Records on El Camino Boulevard in San Mateo. Like, I remember I loved that movie and I loved everything that went with it because it was such a, to me, breath of fresh air. Like, what is. This is so different. You know, independent cinema was really kind of coming up. It made Danny Boyle a huge star. A huge star. And now we have Trainspotting too. It picks up right where it left off. Train spotting ended with Ewan McGregor double crossing his mates. He stole like £2,000 from them or something like that. £10,000. After they did a big drug deal, he snuck off in the middle of the night and leaving a little bit for spud in a locker. But he double crossed his mates, went off to start a new life, and they were all left holding the empty bag. Cops show up, then the movie ends. You don't know what happens. Did Begbie go to jail? Did Sick Boy go back on drugs? Did Mark Retton start a new life? This picks up 20 years later, Mark Retton shows up again. They haven't seen him in 20 years. Shows up and now he's back in their lives. You definitely need to see the first one. This is not a movie you can jump in and see without seeing the first one. It's not Mad Max, like this new Mad Max movie. You can enjoy that without really knowing the Mad Max mythology. Nothing to do with your own really good movie. I really enjoyed this. But you very much need to at least be familiar with the first one, if not like the first one. So that's a prerequisite right there. So I don't know if you guys remember this. On the first one, it was sort of an iconic thing that took on a life of its own. Ewan McGregor did this whole choose Life thing. Choose Life. It was this sort of ethos, like his, almost his manifesto, actually. It was kind of a sly look at, you know, at life in the 1990s and, you know, in Scotland. And he does an updated version. I want to play the clip. It's a little bit long, but I think you guys are gonna like it because fans of the show will certainly agree there's something great about a very perfectly executed rant. And this counts as a what? This counts. It's about two minutes long, but I promise.

[Brian Bishop]

Hold on. This is first or second?

[Adam Carolla]

This is his updated version of that famous. Sort of like, choose the updated version. Here's everything that sucks about life.

[Gina Grad]

Will we be able to understand it?

[Adam Carolla]

I think so.

[Brian Bishop]

That was the big thing about the.

[Adam Carolla]

First one was those thick Scottish brogues. People have problems with it and this movie kind of plays with that because early on there's like subtitles on the screen and they go away because the director's like kind of winking at you. But here is an older, more wiser Ewan McGregor giving an updated speech that basically kind of details what sucks about life today. So I might say pause, pause, pause. The audio sucks. I really wanted to find this clip. The only one I could find is someone recording a bootleg version. So apologies for the bad audio, but.

[Brian Bishop]

From in a theater.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

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[Adam Carolla]

I think it's worth it.

[Brian Bishop]

Choose designer lingerie in the vain hope of kicking some life back into it. Dead relationship.

[Adam Carolla]

Choose handbags.

[Brian Bishop]

Choose high heeled shoes, cashmere and silk. To make yourself feel what passes for happy. Choose an iPhone made in China by.

[Adam Carolla]

A woman who jumped out of a window and stick it in the pocket.

[Brian Bishop]

Of your jacket fresh from a South Asian fire trap. Choose Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, and a thousand other ways to spew your bile.

[Adam Carolla]

Across people you never met. Choose updating your profile.

[Brian Bishop]

Tell the world what you had for breakfast and hope that someone somewhere cares. Choose looking up old flames, desperate to believe that you don't look as bad as they do. Choose live blogging, from your first wank to your last breath. Human interaction reduced to nothing more than data.

[Adam Carolla]

Choose 10 things you never knew about.

[Brian Bishop]

Celebrities who'd had surgery. Choose screaming about abortion.

[Adam Carolla]

Choose rape jokes, slut shaming, revenge porn.

[Brian Bishop]

And an endless tide of depressing misogyny.

[Adam Carolla]

Choose 9, 11 never happened.

[Brian Bishop]

And if it did, it was the Jews.

[Adam Carolla]

Choose a zero hour contract and a.

[Brian Bishop]

Two hour journey to work. And choose the same for your kids, only worse.

[Adam Carolla]

And maybe tell yourself it's better that they never happened.

[Brian Bishop]

And then sit back and smother the pain with an unknown dose of an.

[Adam Carolla]

Unknown drug made in somebody's fucking kitchen. Choose unfulfilled promise and wishing you'd done it all differently. Choose never learning from your own mistakes. Choose watching history repeat itself.

[Brian Bishop]

Choose the slow reconciliation towards what you can get rather than what you always hoped for. Settle for less and keep a brave face on it.

[Adam Carolla]

Choose disappointment. And choose losing the ones you loved. And as they fall from view, a piece of you dies with them. Until you can see that one day.

[Brian Bishop]

In the future, piece by piece, they will all be gone and there'll be.

[Adam Carolla]

Nothing left of you to call alive or dead.

[Brian Bishop]

Choose your future, Veronica. Choose life. So hold on. Actually, Judd's rant was much more animated, much more insane than that was really why. It really was like you would speak 500,000 people at the mall. But that being said, so that's.

[Adam Carolla]

That's very indicative of the movie. It's. I find that funny. But I also find a guy hollowly funny. Like it's not laugh out loud. Like that's hilarious. That's a great monologue. That's like, wow, that is darkly, darkly kind of humorous. So if that's your thing. I love this movie. It's bursting with life, ironically. It's funny, it's sad, it's touching and I just, I loved having these characters back in my life. So maybe I'm not indicative of every single person that's gonna see this movie, but if you have any fondness for the original, this will, this will deliver the goods.

[Gina Grad]

Nice.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I liked it.

[Brian Bishop]

Hooray for party. Woah. Well, since the first one is 20 years, how old's the first one now?

[Adam Carolla]

1996. So 20 years.

[Brian Bishop]

Last year 96. Okay, so over 20 years. So maybe you should go look at the first one, then go see this.

[Adam Carolla]

I would recommend the first one of my all time favorite movies. I gave it five stars on my Netflix rating. So I would highly recommend that.

[Gina Grad]

Were you a Lock, Stock and two Smoke and Barrels guy?

[Adam Carolla]

I was. I enjoyed it. I would not.

[Gina Grad]

No, it's. No train spotting for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Please.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

How dare you. I did like that movie, though.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait a minute. Then where did the. Where'd the other one come in?

[Gina Grad]

Snatch.

[Brian Bishop]

Snatch.

[Adam Carolla]

I like Snatch better.

[Brian Bishop]

I like Snatch better.

[Adam Carolla]

I like Snatch better. Other than Lock Stockton, I did, too.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, look up some Hank Azaria characters from the Simpsons because I got a Pooh. Chief Wiggum, comic book guy I like. And then Carl Carlson. Who? I don't know, the black guy.

[Gina Grad]

Carl Bromance.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh.

[Gina Grad]

Oh.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm gonna point out the handful of times when the last name makes it confused.

[Adam Carolla]

Lenny and Carl is easier than Carl Carlson.

[Brian Bishop]

Never even knew his last name was Carlson.

[Adam Carolla]

And Gazaria voices my favorite symptoms character, Mo Sislak, the bartender.

[Brian Bishop]

We love Mo.

[Gina Grad]

Why can't I find Amanda? Hugging kiss. Maybe your standards are too low.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Pretty. No more after the monkey gets knifed on the boat.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, Dr. Hibbert. Oh, yeah. Nick Riviera. Oh, hi, everybody. I love that one. Okay. All right. We can go all day. All right, let me. So some guy got removed. I was just driving my car, listening to the radio, and there was the news, and some guy got pulled out of an airplane. And it's not the usual going nuts high on basalts. It was more of a. The flight was overloaded. I've had this situation before. They overbook.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, every airline overbooks.

[Gina Grad]

They try to coax you off with gifts.

[Brian Bishop]

Can I just tell everybody? They say people come to me all the time. I go like, you know, I go to Home Depot. I can't even find a guy who works there. I gotta walk up and down, up and down, aisle, look at it. And I find a guy and he's on his break, and it's like, that's why sheet of plywood is $19 at Home Depot. If you'd like to go up the street to the stock lumber and pay $39 for the same sheet of thing, you will get a journeyman carpenter with some salt and pepper in his mustache who will go out and load your truck up. But you don't want to pay that guy. You want 19. You want plumbing fittings that are 49 cents. Like, you want to live in this world where everything is free. And then you, you, but. So you want Pops Larson, who's going to be piggybacked onto Bob Vila to drop out of the ceiling like Tom Cruise missions when you Have a goddamn question in the aisle. That's not how the math works. The way the math works is we pay a bunch of guys $9 an hour who don't know shit and we hire less of need and they go on their lunch break and you're free to wander up and down the aisle. And this is why I tell people, if you're going to buy 20 sheets of struck 1 CDX half inch ply, go to Home Depot. But if you're just going to buy the coupler, go to the corner store and save yourself 40 minutes. Because in that case the difference is 49 cents versus a buck 19, but versus a half hour you walking around. So do that, but don't come to me with the hey, that guy didn't even know, he didn't know a sweep from an lb and he thought called himself. He was in the, he was in electricians departments. Like you can't get stuff for free and complain you can't get flights for $69 from here to Chicago. And then explain you didn't have enough knee room or the thing took off. Twenty minutes later there was a crying baby, it was crowded, you know, or whatever. Oh, the food sucked. You know, it's like, yeah, you're flying ticket was pretty much you're looking, you're getting prices, which is you getting your ass from LA to Atlanta for $89. You gotta understand what that means in today's day and age of. Or what it translated into 40 years ago. What it would cost when people made minimum wage was a buck 28 and how much money it cost to get to Atlanta back then. So what you have to put up with is these measures. The reason they can offer these flights. And then they go, well, the second piece of luggage they wanted to charge for, they wait, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Cause they, that's how they make up the package.

[Brian Bishop]

They're not charging for the goddamn tickets. You're going to Phoenix for $31 people. That's why they have to charge you for the second bag.

[Gina Grad]

Everything becomes a la carte at that point.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, yes, yes. And so even the beatings, right? So I've been on the flight where they've just went, look, the plane's overweight and some luggage is going to have to go. And that luggage it's going to go is going to be in the next flight behind you. But blah, we'll do our best. And I said, you know, and then they said, all right, who wants a volunteer to take their luggage? We'll pull it out of the Belly of the plane. This is, you know, puddle jumper, me and Dr. Drew back in the day, 40 people on the plane. And of course, no one raised their hand. And then it just was like, okay, look, I'm just gonna go down and open the hatch at the bottom. I'm gonna pull out a piece of luggage, and that'll be the piece of luggage I pull out. And everyone's like, well, I guess that's the deal we made for our $49 flight. And I get it, and I get that nobody wants to get off a plane, and I know that nobody wants to get bumped, that I know that no one wants to pay for luggage or whatever, but we've created a world where flying is almost free, and this is now part of what goes along with that world.

[Adam Carolla]

Everything you've described should be understood by everyone who buys a plane ticket. But this is just. This is a potential outcome. It never happens in your lifetime, but this could happen.

[Brian Bishop]

What goes on?

[Adam Carolla]

Not the dragging off the planes, what you've described, right?

[Brian Bishop]

But now they said, I guess, look, we're overbooked. We overbooked. We tried entice people with, you know, gift certificates to, you know, round table Pizza. No one would go for it. So now who's going to volunteer to get off this flight? And when nobody volunteered to get off this flight, I think they just went, eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

[Gina Grad]

They said they had a computer generated.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, they did.

[Gina Grad]

That's one of the news stories.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that's it. Okay. Well, then you just go. You get off the flight, you go into the Chili's, you have a few Bloody Marys, and you pray the plane crashes. You pray. You get on your knees and you pray one time I'm gonna ask for this, right? So now. So they do the. They do the digital selection. And that's just it. That's just it. And now that's that. And I guess they just pulled the dude off, but it was a sound that the dude was making that.

[Hank Azaria]

That.

[Brian Bishop]

I. I just heard it on the radio. Can we hear it? Gary? Sorry, it was.

[Adam Carolla]

It's upsetting.

[Brian Bishop]

Can't they rent a car for the.

[Gina Grad]

Pilots and have a drive?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Adult male. My God. What are you doing? Hold on a second. What we're doing is the plane's overweight or it's overbooked, or it's over something, and there's 122 people on this flight or whatever it is, and we have to go. So since nobody is Gonna want to get out. Look, we made a mistake. This person should be compensated with, you know, he should get a round trip to Maui, but whatever. There's a hundred people on this flight we got to push off and we screwed up. So what we're going to do is we're going to run this thing through a random picker and it's going to pick a random seat out of the hundred. I don't know, Gary, what the plane hold. I don't know what it was, 727, whatever it was, but out of the 111 people on here, it's going to pick one. And when, when it does, I'm sorry, that individual is going to have to get up and leave. Well, at that point, that guy has to get up and leave. I don't, I. There may be no. You know what he's allowed to do? He is allowed to stand up and go to the guy, anyone within the sound of his voice that goes, I got 300 bucks cash, anyone to swap out right now, I'll put it in your pocket. I'm a doctor, I have to. Patients say, but when the security goes, come with me. At that point, you have to stand up and walk out. You can plead your case somewhere else. What are they doing? My God, what are they doing? Well, they have a world class pussy on their hand and they're dragging him off because he's not going voluntarily.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I feel a tremendous amount of sympathy for this guy. But what you said is correct. Especially when a captain of a plane orders you to do something, let alone just get off the plane, you have to do it. That's the law.

[Gina Grad]

You have to do it. I agree. But that being said, these dudes dragging this guy off the plane look like they were hired from like a nightclub on Sunset just to start bouncing people with any decorum.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, whatever it is, douche, stand up and walk off the fucking plane.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, when the police order you off, you, you have to go. Whether they're right or wrong, they're ordering you to get off.

[Brian Bishop]

I just got to hear the sound that this guy was. One more time. And what the fuck is going on with dudes? What's going on with dudes? I know everyone's a pussy, so they're like, what do you mean what's going on with dudes? We squeal like stuck pigs being cornholed. Adult males like 50 year old dudes in public. Get the fuck off the plane, you pussy. And go stand in the dark. I have places to be. Like, everybody has Someplace I got. I had a $50,000 gig that I gave the money back to. $50,000 for one night because they took my backpack and they hid it from me from behind me.

[Adam Carolla]

$50,000 gig.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, bud. Hey. I was gonna say shake your money maker, but I don't want you to come up and shake me. Ha ha. A stage five. Stage five. Two shows in casino, all right? Casinos pay well. And it was 50,000 bucks, and it was a done deal. And Mike August got on the plane and they took my backpack. And the cops took it. And they go, all right, you're supposed to put. It was sitting behind me while we're at the bar. Everyone knows at Burbank, you face the wall. You face the wall of tea. They had final four. We're all staring at things. The backpack was sitting behind me. The person slid up behind me, took the backpack, and then went out the same direction. They didn't walk past me. They didn't come to the front, go, excuse me, is this somebody here? Or is there anybody? Or didn't tap me on the shoulder. They came behind, took the backpack, and left. And left the airport and left the goddamn airport. And when they did, by the time I was able to find the sub sheriff's substation, where the thing was, the plane left and there were no other flights. So Mike August was there. I was not there. And guess who didn't get a goddamn penny.

[Adam Carolla]

August gave a tight 90 minute set. How about that toilet paper, you guys?

[Brian Bishop]

Jesus Christ. Oh, Mike August is here. All right. I just lost $50,000. You know what I did? I got my goddamn car and I drove home. I didn't say a word to anybody.

[Gina Grad]

But the whole time in the car, we were going.

[Brian Bishop]

No. I realized whatever had been done had been done. It was done. I was not happy about it, but it had been done.

[Adam Carolla]

Are we a hun? Everyone's gonna know the answer to this maybe by the time people hear this tomorrow. Do we know for a fact that this guy is a doctor and is not, in fact, have some mental something going on?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, all his.

[Adam Carolla]

I've seen everybody that goes along with.

[Gina Grad]

This claims he's a doctor. He's 69 years old.

[Adam Carolla]

I've seen everybody that goes along with this, and he. He doesn't strike me as the doctorial type.

[Gina Grad]

Would you want him to be your doctor?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, not bleeding from the face.

[Brian Bishop]

Mike August. Did I have my backpack stolen from me by security at the Burbank airport? And did I lose $50,000? Napped, kidnapped.

[Gina Grad]

Not stolen, kidnapped.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Kidnapped.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. That's right. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Kidnapped implies they'll give it back to you at some point.

[Brian Bishop]

Set the backpack down behind us. The guy came in behind us and took it out of the airport. Mike got on the plane. I went to go get the backpack, and $50,000 later, Mike was in Sacramento.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you have to spend the night.

[Brian Bishop]

In the lobby of that casin. I was gonna say.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you take something?

[Brian Bishop]

It's my honeymoon. We came here to see the show. What do you mean? Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Sell any merch?

[Brian Bishop]

All right. Now, did the guy need.

[Adam Carolla]

Was a total loss.

[Brian Bishop]

Mike, was I making a lot of squealing noises after I found out about this, or did I just go about my way trying to get my backpack back?

[Adam Carolla]

That was the worst part of it. You were thrilled I was on my.

[Brian Bishop]

Way to Sacramento and you were going home to watch your goddamn movies. Yeah. All right. What are you doing here? Is there some food been left behind or something? Jury duty. Really? Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Your number came in.

[Brian Bishop]

Just got released. Nice. All right.

[Gina Grad]

Are they guilty?

[Brian Bishop]

All right. I hope so. Hank Azaria is going to be on the phone in a second. So he also has jury duty. 63 people, seats on the plane, so I guess it was. And I just want to hear the noise this guy's making one more time. Can't they rent a car full of pilots in antlers? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Hold on a second. Stop all the people in life that need to, like, comment. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Shut up, whore. Shut up, you fat whore. Please let the guys do their job. And nobody has more context than you. Do you know what I mean? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We heard you the first time. Shut the fuck up. Do we not know what's going on here? Do you have to comment out loud about everything?

[Adam Carolla]

Are you upset? The fact they're, like, exacerbating a situation. It's already. The tensions are already. Obviously, if someone's being physically dragged off a plane, that's unusual, to say the least.

[Brian Bishop]

I get it. I wouldn't want to be. I don't want to be anywhere near the bitch who's just yelling, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And also, the guys are trying to do their job. Let them do their job. They don't need you commenting on it. You know full well what's happening. Somebody needs to be removed. His number literally came up. He's refused to leave the plane, and now we physically must remove him from this plane by dragging his saggy ass down the Aisle. You have to sit there like, oh, my God. Oh my God. Who knows better than you? Oh, my God, bitch. What's going on here? You didn't just stumble into the plane and see an old guy being dragged across the ground.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the thing. You're privy to details we don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

This has been going on for 40 minutes. In your world, it's 40 minutes of. Okay, who likes chocolate covered macadamia nuts? Nobody. The duty free shop has a barrel of them and your name is on it. If you. No, nobody up your offer if you're gonna. Okay, we not only fly to Portland.

[Adam Carolla]

Portland, Maine, or Portland, Oregon.

[Brian Bishop]

Oregon. We have routes. I mean, there's a, there's a stop, but we go to Portland.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not direct.

[Brian Bishop]

Who's here? Has anyone been to Houston during the springtime?

[Adam Carolla]

That's pretty muggy, actually.

[Gina Grad]

Humid.

[Brian Bishop]

Did I say spring? I said winter actually gets pretty cold. Okay, we have to remove somebody from this goddamn plane.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, I have a report here saying that the man was eventually let back on the flight.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, he was bloody.

[Brian Bishop]

How.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, bleeding. How awkward would that flight be?

[Brian Bishop]

All right, hold on a second. Hank Azarius on the phone. Hank. Yo, yo, thanks for calling in. Sorry. I'm trying to figure out what happened with that guy on the airplane and how he got back on Brockmire. The name of the new show, Wednesdays, 10:00 clock on IFC. Episode three is tomorrow night. I watched episode one. Really funny premise. Really funny show. Hank. Well, shall I talk about. Hank, why don't you talk about the premise? Please.

[Hank Azaria]

All right, I will. I'm very, I'm uniquely, uniquely qualified to talk.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

[Hank Azaria]

Brockmire is the name of a baseball announcer, Jim Brockmire. He's one of these kind of golden throated guys who talks the way I'm talking right now. Who kind of the voice that I. The generic baseball announcer voice that I listened to growing up, especially in the 70s, and I wonder, do these guys always sound like this? Not just on the air where they seem to be able to say anything they want as long as they give the cow dip, but when they, when they're home with their. Arguing with their girlfriends or having sex with their wives, they still talk like this. And that became one of the basic comic premises of the show. Then we imagine, what if this guy completely flipped out on the air? And we did a short if Funny or Die that sort of chronicled that about eight years ago. And that became the basis of the show is a guy like that who disgraces himself on the air saying wildly inappropriate stuff after he walks his in on his wife having sex. Actually having an orgy.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Six guys, if I recall her in the middle, and there's a bunch of guys involved.

[Hank Azaria]

She was wearing a strap on and plowing their neighbor, Bob Greenwald. And folks, I do mean right in the ass as Johnson swings and misses at a break and ball and walks, that kind of thing.

[Brian Bishop]

So.

[Hank Azaria]

And then, you know, it picks up with him. You see that meltdown, and then, you know, 10 years later, he's trying to get back in baseball, much like in the tradition of, like, Walter Matthow and Bad News Bears or Slap Shot of those great kind of sports movies, the 70s, where the heroes try to redeem themselves with free love of their sport at the bottom of the barrel, you know, and they're often alcoholic, much like Jim Brockmire. He tries to get back in baseball, you know, 10 years later, but not realizing that he's Winnebago man now. He thinks everybody's just forgotten, but he's gone viral. He doesn't know that he's, you know, a meme. And now, basically. Which is part two of his nervous breakdown.

[Brian Bishop]

I got a Hank Zaria question for you. So this is a fine coincidence. Most guys I've ever worked with in improvisational comedy who do these amazing characters and have just this huge repertoire of characters are very quiet and sort of wallflower y when they're not being that. Like, if you ever. I don't know Mike Myers well, or guys like Sacha, Baron Cohen and guys like that. Their. Their resting self is not that much. And I always had the thought that Artie Lang's. Artie Lang is Artie Lang. You know what I mean? But he can't do Mo or Apu or Chief Wiggum. He. He's already lying. Yeah, but what about you, Hank? Because you do seem to be. Have a strong sort of standing personality or a well carved out personality of your own, where some of these other guys, like even like Jim Carrey and stuff, like, I don't feel like I get who they are just as regular dudes.

[Hank Azaria]

Well, do you mean like personally or professionally or both?

[Brian Bishop]

Kind of both. Like, like, my thought is, in order to be so good at jumping from character to character, you almost have to be in neutral, like, turn off.

[Hank Azaria]

Yeah, that's true. That actually is true. I relate to that very much. You know, Peter Sellers used to talk about it. He called it imposter syndrome. He didn't Feel like he was alive even unless he was being Clouseau or something. He felt like he was profoundly boring.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Hank Azaria]

Himself.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And then there's a kind of a weird other extreme, which is sort of your Chris Farley extreme, where you have to actually become more of you. The version of you that you think everyone wants to see at the party. But has it changed over the years for you, Hank? Have you settled in to you? It has.

[Hank Azaria]

I mean, basically, I'm a mimic at heart. Was growing up as a teenager, became an actor because I wanted to be anybody but myself, much like you're describing. I felt more comfortable doing crazy voices or characters or mimicking things than I did as myself. Had to in my 20s in acting class, learn to be more myself. Discovered that, you know, like, if you want to be a good actor, you actually have to reveal yourself to people. Not the opposite, which I hated. Hated, but learned to do. And honestly only feel like in the last, really five years, I'm like, I'm about to be 53. Only feel like in the last five years am I comfortable and feel like I have fluidity, just kind of being myself on camera. And, you know, like, for example, the role I do on Ray Donovan, like, that's just pretty much close to me. Even though the guy's pretty twisted psychologically, but his manner is pretty close to mine. And I only feel comfortable doing that, like, lately.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you, do you. Do you feel. I feel like the mimic gene is just right up there with there's a certain percentage, percentage of the population that can take their tongue and taco it. And then there's me. I can't do it. Really. I can't do it. And it's confusing to the people who can, but if you can't, you just can't. And if you can, you just do it in your sleep. And like, my wife is good at. She's good at. She's not a comedian. She just mimics. She has, like the ear for it. She can mimic, you know, folks around the house kind of thing. What's that? And then I guess you, you have that God given talent and you mix that with the I want to lose myself. And now you have a juggernaut of mimicry. Is that correct, Hank?

[Hank Azaria]

That's pretty accurate. And, you know, that's very insightful because that's how I describe it to people. How do you do that? How do you mimic? I'm like, you can either do it or you can't. It's exactly like taco in your tongue or like, of cilantro or not. It's just how you're born. And then, you know, I would. Was fortunate enough to then get a job on the Simpsons when I was 23, where then, you know, I had, like, The Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hours thing take over, where I had an affinity for that. Then I had to do it every week, you know, for my entire life. So you definitely develop it.

[Brian Bishop]

Were you looking at pictures of chief Wiggum and coming up with the voice because he looks like he sounds, or were they hearing you and drawing your voice?

[Hank Azaria]

It's different for different characters. I think in that case, it was the latter. I did the voice first, and then they drew it, I think, because we recorded that like a year before it even came out.

[Adam Carolla]

And that voice changed a lot over the years to. Over the first couple years. The Wiggum, specifically.

[Hank Azaria]

Oh, yeah, that's true. And the way he originally started was a David Brinkley impression, believe it or not. It was kind of slow and like this. Sort of talked like this, and they felt it was too slow. They're like, Sam Simon, the late, great Sam Simon was like, can you pace that up? Because it's too slow. And for some reason in my brain, when I sped up David Brinkley at Kang Hank and Chief Wagon, and then I realized, well, this is just basically a bad Edward G. Robinson. This is like Mel Blanc's bad impression of Edward G. Robinson, basically.

[Brian Bishop]

I love. I got a Hank. I'd be curious. Brian has a question, too. I'd be curious. Some of my favorite Simpsons episodes because it's such a great show and I love it so much, and I love talking and, you know, it's a good show because whenever I talk about favorite episodes, it's not everyone has a different episode. But I love Homer Steele's cable. And I don't know why. I love that, because everything is in that episode. There's, like, a moral lesson. There's full arc. There's a bunch of. There's just a ton of funny lines. I love when Homer wanted to become morbidly obese.

[Gina Grad]

That's what I was just thinking of.

[Brian Bishop]

So he could get out on disability.

[Gina Grad]

You get to do the wipe test on the paper.

[Hank Azaria]

Yeah, that's one of my favorites, too. I love that with the moo moo. I love that one.

[Brian Bishop]

I love the vast waistband. The place that everybody. Academic and judicial robes like, they're selling stuff to fat guy. I'm washing my fat guy hat. He had. It's like Don deluise hat. I love. And it's not even called Rancho Relaxo, but the one where Marge goes to the spa, she went to Rancho Relaxo. And Barney and Homer were left behind. Some of my favorites. But Hank, yours ones that stand out.

[Hank Azaria]

For you, My favorite episode and the one that made me laugh the most anyway was Cape Fear.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Sideshow Bob.

[Hank Azaria]

Cause Bob with those rakes. Bob and the rakes just really had me rake.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. Stephanie?

[Hank Azaria]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You had a question, Brian?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Hank. Speaking of characters, do you ever go to your agent, like every once in a while, once every five, six years. Say, just find me a role where there's no characters or I'm just playing myself straight. Cause I was looking at your credits. It reminded me that you were great in Run Fatboy, Run. Really good little movie that people should see with Simon Pegg. And you play. You're kind of the jerk. You're a bit of a heavy in the movie, but you're just you for lack of it. What I mean is you're not a character. You're not, you know, a caricature or an accent or anything. You're just. Hank, is there a doing a jerk? Do you ask your agents, like, look for roles like that once in a while, just have a break?

[Hank Azaria]

No, because they can't. Like what can you actually? I mean, I can't. You can ask, but it's like saying, hey, can I have a million dollars? You know, it's like Yale Steve Martin joke how to be a millionaire. First get a million dollars. I mean, it's like you can't like call up roles. You just sort of take what the defense gives you. Use a sports term. And you know, through the years I've gotten roles where I'm not particularly playing character. But this is what I was just saying earlier. It's really only recently that I feel comfortable doing that. I swear, like, I've always, like, always like in that movie. I've always been aware of, like that Peter Seller thing. I'm like, oh, I'm not enough. I should be doing a funny voice. I should be doing something weirder than I'm doing. It's only like with this Ray Donovan thing that I feel comfortable and I have something to say.

[Brian Bishop]

Doing that Brockmire, by the way, Wednesdays, 10 o', clock, IFC. So, Hank, what do you like doing? Because I do feel like you. I feel like you're a private person who doesn't act like a private person, but I feel like you're a private person who maybe is accessible or something. But is there things you're into causes. You're into woodworking, sailing, what have you.

[Hank Azaria]

Oh, yeah. So, I mean, I'm a huge sports fan and I. I love watching sports, particularly New York sports. I'm a net check, Nets, Mets. Excuse me, Mets, Jets, Knicks guy. And I really. I know it's rough. Mets are okay. Now the other two, not so good. I play poker. I genuine, genuine student of the game. I enjoy playing poker. My son is eight. I love, you know, I love being family man, father guy, and that's really it. And I, you know, I have a couple of call. I. Education is really important to me. I started a Nonprofit education in LA, like, 10 years ago, and I'm pretty active with that. And then that's about show business. And that. That pretty much fills up my time.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's enough. I'm just. I'm always just curious because I feel like actors and actresses either have nothing or everything. They're not kind of in betweeners. There's some people that just have nothing. But all I do is perform or act or whatever, and that's the only. That's my life. And then there's other ones who do everything, but. Or they do the act and whatever, but as soon as they stop, they're off doing well. Ewan McGregor's on a motor. He's on a motorcycle riding 25,000 miles across different continents.

[Adam Carolla]

Hank, Adam has a question he's too embarrassed to ask. Do you still talk to Ashley Judd? And is she going insane?

[Hank Azaria]

I do not. I think the last words I said to Ashley Judd were on the set of Heat. Whatever it was 32 years ago. I don't think I've even ever run into her since then.

[Brian Bishop]

You can amuse yourself by watching some of her speeches on YouTube. We were examining.

[Hank Azaria]

Has she been going cuckoo lately?

[Adam Carolla]

She's outspoken.

[Brian Bishop]

I think she is. There's a quiet little secret, and I don't know if it's even a secret, but I notice guys, as they get older, they just get mellower. They had a lot of testosterone. Testosterone makes you want to fight and fuck and punch cops and break cops. You want to find out who your girlfriend is?

[Adam Carolla]

The answer is Chief Wiggum.

[Brian Bishop]

Chief Wiggum.

[Hank Azaria]

I don't have. I was tested. I have the lowest testosterone level of any policeman in the country.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, if they'd start.

[Hank Azaria]

Don't go by me.

[Brian Bishop]

If they start putting testosterone in those maple bars, maybe you could catch up. But, I mean. And I know you're a little bit overweight, Chief. I mean, probably just 10, 15 pounds maybe, but Dr. Drew says you have higher circulating levels of estrogen when you're overweight, chief. So maybe you want to lose a couple of pounds.

[Hank Azaria]

Well, yeah, it would have to explain the bra that I have to wear.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, yeah, but you got to keep your gun somewhere, right? That's true.

[Hank Azaria]

That's what I tell the fellas, anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

Go on, Ricardo.

[Brian Bishop]

The guys tend to mellow out as the testosterone starts to leave their body and the women kick it up a notch.

[Gina Grad]

Can't wait.

[Brian Bishop]

They start kicking it up a notch. And that's why all of my friends have been married for a long time. The dudes are super mellow. They weren't when they were 24. And the wiser oxygen wives have been weaponized. Hank, does that make sense to you?

[Hank Azaria]

Yes, it does. I mean, but you know, it's. That's, you know, there are exceptions. I mean, I know plenty of guys who are steadily going nuttier.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but Pete Berg aside, just like.

[Hank Azaria]

The old saying, like, men are dumb, but women are crazy. And it's an oversimplification, but it's kind of true.

[Brian Bishop]

George Carlin. Thank you.

[Hank Azaria]

And you know, I think that also, to be fair, I don't know that you can go by actresses. I mean, one of the roughest things I think that any human being can go through is to be a gorgeous, pretty it girl, you know, in Hollywood. And then, you know, have to age out of that gracefully. Somehow it's not easy.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I listen, I've really been kind of studying this and I've been thinking about my buddy Ray, who had 30 pounds of muscle on everyone he knew for his entire life, and he never worked very hard at anything and still won all the arm wrestling championships and won all the bench press championships, but never had to go out and get some kind of thing. And later on in life is his metabolism slowed down a little.

[Adam Carolla]

That skill set, it didn't serve him.

[Brian Bishop]

Well because he wasn't the scrawny kid who had to out hustle everybody. He was the king of the hill without having to work at it.

[Gina Grad]

Still has 960.

[Hank Azaria]

That's like guys who were star athletes in high school.

[Brian Bishop]

Exactly.

[Hank Azaria]

What I mean, more often than not, it's a curse, you know, like really, that's when you peak. Done. Life has got some bad surprises in store for you.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, we were seeing how you love sports. Like, we were just talking. I was talking to my friend who just went to like a symposium with a teammate of Rand, not Randy Moss, sorry, Jerry Rice. And he said Jerry Rice was The first guy in and the last guy out. And every time they were just running these sort of warmups, they threw a seven yard slant, he'd turn up and go 80 yards to the end zone. When everyone else would just throw it.

[Adam Carolla]

Back 10 yards, 5 yards, break it.

[Brian Bishop]

Off and throw it back. He'd turn it up and go all the way in. He never stopped. And I think it's because he felt like he didn't have the God given speed or the God given talent or the God given anything. And then we talked last week to Randy Moss. Imagine if Randy Moss, with that vertical and with that ability and that foot speed, just took the Jerry Rice approach.

[Adam Carolla]

The records would still stand, right?

[Hank Azaria]

There are so many examples of this. Guys who, you know, like Jordan, same thing. Michael Jordan changed his game midway through his career because he had to, because he can no longer physically do what he could do when he was young. So he just kept adjusting, right? Same with, same with, you know, Larry Bird.

[Brian Bishop]

And Jordan famously didn't make his like high school junior varsity team or whatever. Now Randy Moss, I will bet you could dunk on a ten foot hoop when he was twelve and a half.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And so why should he work? Why should he show up early and stay late? He's dunking on guys in a way.

[Hank Azaria]

But, you know, well, I would, I would. My argument to that would be that, you know, on the other hand, recognizing you have so much God given ability, you know, could also spur you on to say, you know what I need to do right by this. Like, at least my work ethic should match what I've been handed and the guy. And certain guys do that with guys like LeBron, certain pitchers, right, who adjust how they throw and they no longer can throw 98 miles an hour and figure out other ways to get people out. And there are subtler versions of it. Like I'm a huge Mets fan. I'm watching Jacob deGrom do that. He's a pretty young guy still, but as his fastball fades a little, he's figuring out ways to get guys out. James Harden did it this year. He adjusted his game.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that's, I mean, the great, when you get great is, you know, look, when you got the overachieving, slow, white, free safeties, he's not all pro. He's overachieving. And then when you have the guy with the God given, but he misses a lot of practices, it's when you combine those two that you get LeBron James or that, you know, that Jordan, that crazy work ethic Crazy competitiveness and then a ton of God given talent. Hey, then real quick, I was watching 60 Minutes the other night. They had the Japanese phenom, the 22 year old guy, guy hits 450 foot dingers and throws 101 or 2 miles an hour. Says he wants to pitch and bat and is coming stateside. What are your thoughts on that? Hank Azaria.

[Hank Azaria]

You know, this is news to me. I haven't heard of this guy. That's very exciting. That's Brockmeyer.

[Adam Carolla]

Better get on this. Brockmeyer better his research.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, he's playing in Japan. He's in the starting lineup as a hitter, he hits with power and he's the best pitcher in the league and he can throw over 100 miles an hour. And his thing is I'll come and play in the United States, but I have to play on a team that's going to let me hit and pitch.

[Gina Grad]

Well, so is it the National League?

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Hank Azaria]

Unless he wants to DH the days that he's not pitching in the American League.

[Adam Carolla]

He could play in the American League.

[Hank Azaria]

My prediction would be that a guy like that in the major leagues can't really sustain that. I mean there's guys who obviously can do that, like Bumgarner can hit like crazy, so can Syndergaard, but you just can't. You gotta pick one or the other. I mean there's no way to really excel at both. I don't think I'd be amazed if this guy could.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, watch this. Check out this 60 Minutes piece on him. And I'm, I'm with you. Except for he's 22 and he does throw over 100 miles an hour, which is pretty insane, I was gonna say.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree with both of you. I think what you probably see is if he comes to the States and plays in the major leagues, he'll be a position player who's like a reliever, like a spot reliever or a closer even. Like he won't be like Hank says, a grind. To be a starter, a nine inning starter or whatever, that's asking a lot. But a reliever, it's a spot here and there. I could see that.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, we'll see. He's young, he's big as a phenom. Brock Meyer, name of the Show, Wednesday nights, 10 o' clock on IFC. Thanks Hank, we appreciate it.

[Hank Azaria]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

And you can shoot him a tweet at Hank Azaria if you like. Oh, just Hank Azaria. There you go. Thanks, Hank. Appreciate it.

[Gina Grad]

You know what Brock Mars sounds like and I mean this as a compliment because I love both these shows. It sounds like a mix between Eastbound and Down and Better Call Saul invite.

[Brian Bishop]

It's, you know, we all hear. We all know the story about what happens to the player that gets sent down, but when the announcer gets sent down, it's bad times too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's typically.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, get the news ready. And then, Gary, I want to find out how this guy got back on the plane after. Yeah, that was.

[Gina Grad]

No, Gary figured it out.

[Brian Bishop]

It appears that he somehow eluded his.

[Adam Carolla]

Captors and ran back onto the plane.

[Brian Bishop]

Then was removed again. He didn't get onto the flight, but.

[Gina Grad]

Shouting some crazy shit.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. He. Like. It seems like they got him off the plane up the jetway. He somehow slipped him, ran back on shouting, I have to go home. I have to go home. Just kill me. And then they got him off again. I gotta. I feel like this, you know, let me.

[Hank Azaria]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a doctor of what?

[Brian Bishop]

Let me. Of the Santerian religion, the crazy random computer thing. While being eminently fair. Maybe not in everyone's best interest for me. I'm going to go up and down that aisle. I'm going to find myself a dude that is wearing a cardigan who travel alone. Traveling alone. Right. Like, I'm not gonna find the crazy broad with the support dog or any of that. Like, I'm just. I'm gonna. I'm gonna profile and find the guy who's gonna like most quietly walk off of this plane with me. You know, some guy looks like 100 buck voucher to Reno would make a big deal in his life.

[Adam Carolla]

He's got like an iPhone2 or maybe a flip phone. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Something.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's got a Zune.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Cause this, this computer randomly landed on the craziest human being on that flight and arguably on any flight that day. In the airport.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

In the airport, like you found the. You. There was a. There was like some atheist guy in the back who probably didn't want to go home that weekend because he didn't like his old lady. And you landed on a macaw that you were trying to. Literally trying to get a macaw in a headlock and drag it down the aisle.

[Adam Carolla]

Gotta fly back to Louisville and sign those divorce papers. Dan.

[Brian Bishop]

Yep. Gina Grad news.

[Gina Grad]

All right, give me the news with.

[Brian Bishop]

Grad news with Gina Grad. Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina Grad Trouble in the Middle east, celebrity drunk meltdown. Big news with Gina. Gina.

[E]

The news with Gina Grad well.

[Gina Grad]

The California Senate Democrats have approved a multi billion dollar increase in the state gas tax to pay for road and infrastructure projects. The so called Road Repair and Accountability act would ratchet up the state's gas tax by 12 cents a gallon and raise the tax on diesel fuel by 20 cents a gallon. It also etches out an additional charge to annual vehicle license fees ranging from 25 bucks to 175 bucks, depending on the car's value.

[Brian Bishop]

See, when they do the. When they do the taxes on the folks like me who don't pay our fair share and all that other kind of bullshit, or even the sin taxes like, hey, you want to drink some booze, you want to smoke cigarettes, it's going to cost you. But this one kicks the shit out of poor people. This is bad on poor people. If you're rich, who cares? It's like 25 bucks, whatever it is. But back when, I remember back when I was poor, the car thing was a big deal. Like registering the cars or getting insurance or getting a ticket or how much gas was. Gas was a big deal. The price of gas. Look, now I don't care whether it goes 25 cents this way or buck 50 that way. But then this is a big deal to poor people who with no. Because we have no infrastructure in terms of transportation around here. You have to drive a car in la. It's crazy because when you go to Wichita and you see that gas is $1.81 a gallon, and then you come home and it's 315, and you're like, why? Why is everything so goddamn expensive? And this thing of like, well, we got of. They get money for the roads, they just don't spend it on the roads. Correct. It's a diabolical thing. It's basically you saying it's like you going, hey, Dad, I need five bucks for school, for lunch. And you go, all right, here's five bucks. And then you go, listen, I only spent a buck of it on lunch, so I need another $4. I gave you the five bucks. It's like, yeah, but I don't spend it on lunch. Yeah, well, that's what it's for. Yeah, but only spend a little bit of it on lunch. I need more. You want me to eat, right? Yeah, I want you to eat. We're already paying you.

[Gina Grad]

Well, you know who agrees with you?

[Brian Bishop]

Who?

[Gina Grad]

Two guys on KFIA AM640 named John and Ken. They had it out with this guy, Roger Dickerson. He's the executive director for Transportation California.

[Adam Carolla]

Who supports of course, his name is Roger Dickerson.

[Gina Grad]

I listened to this.

[Adam Carolla]

Transportation Secretary.

[Gina Grad]

I listened to this at the end of last week. And while I was listening, texted Gary and I said, we have to play this. It was long. Here's just two short clips. They.

[Brian Bishop]

What is his title?

[Gina Grad]

He is the executive director for Transportation California. And they go on about how he's a hack and he's shaking everybody down for. And he's giving money to undocumented immigrants and education that's not working and everything else. Here's the first clip.

[Brian Bishop]

Most people, they think you ought to set aside road money first in the budget. Budget. And then all those out of all those other categories ought to fight out for what's left. But roads are never, are never a priority in the budget. They haven't been for decades. And it's really criminal to demand more money for something that already ought to have been paid for because we already, we are one of the highest tax states in the nation, if not the highest tax state.

[Hank Azaria]

I understand you don't support this, but the transportation money that comes into the state is already constitutionally protected. The new money, if the.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Hank Azaria]

Legislature acts favorably today.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait a second. This is the third constitutional amendment you guys are passing because you violated the last two. And there's a clause in this bill that allows them to divert the money anyway. So you're going to have three constitutional amendments that still allow for the money to be stolen.

[Gina Grad]

And here's the second clip is like.

[Brian Bishop]

You because he used to be in government. Well, when you were in government, what did you do?

[Hank Azaria]

Seven times as much.

[Brian Bishop]

Tell me about, tell me about all the votes you made, all the votes you made to improve the road system when you were in the legislature. Come on, tell me, tell me about all the funding that you pushed for, all the bills you wrote to make sure that money would go to the roads and bridges instead of all the other cockamamie bs. Come on, explain it. You don't do anything, did you. But now you're a paid hack for some special interest who's looking to suck out some tax money for the next 10 years. And now you're all full of witty little pre scripted talking points that you're going to dazzle us with. Right?

[Hank Azaria]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Good.

[Gina Grad]

John Cobalt and Ken Champos.

[Brian Bishop]

Kill him. John and Ken. It drives me. It's like that's like this train from Merced to Modesto or whatever. I don't even know what we're doing. It just feels like the mob. It's like there's so much Money. Could we get some of it into the road? I usually say getting the rubber down to the road, but look, we're talking about the starlet aging out. That's what California is. California's like. I've said it a million times. They never say it, but it's unspoken. It's like, we got the beach right here. We got the mountains right here. We got. Come on. Who wouldn't want to live in Malibu? Who wouldn't want to live on pch? Who wouldn't want to? Who wouldn't want the weather? Who wouldn't want to? And it's like, we basically run our economy with loosely on a hot chick going, who wouldn't want to fuck me? Like, you go, come on, you should be studying. Look, you're going out to lunch with that guy. You should be paying your half of the bill, and he should be paying. And it's like, come on. Look what I look like. You know what I mean? We don't really have to earn it like they do in climates that just don't have this to offer.

[Adam Carolla]

We're Randy Moss.

[Brian Bishop]

We're Randy Moss. That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

We can dunk at age 12.

[Brian Bishop]

We don't need to be Jerry Rice. We're Randy Moss. And it's never quite spoken, but that's kind of what it is. And when businesses just pick up and leave because of all this nonsense, there was, have fun in Texas. You're not getting to Malibu from Texas. And it's like, yeah, but we're business. We're moving. All right.

[Gina Grad]

A video has gone viral of an Asian woman and her friend stuck on the side of the road in Running Springs, California, near Big Bear after she was turned away by her Airbnb host and demeaned for being Asian. It was snowing pretty badly, so going back down the mountain was really bad.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the renter you want, but it's.

[Gina Grad]

Either Dine or Dean Suh, who happens to be a UCLA law student, and her friends actually ran into a KTLA 5 team who was up there covering the storm. So they interviewed Suh, who tearfully recounted.

[Brian Bishop]

The dispute with the host turned away from the Airbnb.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, but there's more to the story. It's not just that.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina, you said they were Asian. We'll do the UCLA math.

[Gina Grad]

How dare you?

[Brian Bishop]

Hmm.

[Gina Grad]

Here's what she said. It's about a minute long. She'll. She'll explain what happened.

[Brian Bishop]

So we're driving up. We think everything's fine. We're ready for this. Ski trip in Big Bear. There were flash flashes. Woman again. Is it okay that my two friends come, right? Like, could we give you cash?

[Gina Grad]

Or how much did you say it was again?

[Brian Bishop]

And she says, absolutely not. And I say, but you said yes. Here some screenshots of text messages where you said that I could bring my friends.

[Gina Grad]

And she says, you must be high.

[Brian Bishop]

If you think that that would be okay in the busiest weekend in Big Bear.

[Gina Grad]

And then she said, no, like, we're done. And she canceled the trip. And she said, like, one word says it all Asian. And.

[Brian Bishop]

One word says it all Asian. I feel confused right now. This is why we have Trump.

[Gina Grad]

And she says, it's right there. We can't have foreigners telling us what to do.

[Brian Bishop]

She said that to me.

[Gina Grad]

I'm an American citizen.

[Brian Bishop]

This is my home. I've been here since I was three years old. America is my home. I consider myself an American, but this woman discriminates against me for being Asian. She canceled on us when we were three minutes away from the house. We're three minutes away.

[Gina Grad]

I just feel so hurt now. Can I just say really fast, not.

[Brian Bishop]

Only is she Airbnb?

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Did we build that wall or lock her up?

[Brian Bishop]

Intern that camp.

[Gina Grad]

Doesn't she sound exactly like Drew Barrymore?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I couldn't do it with my eyes open because she looked so different. But. And I've noticed. Well, the thing about Airbnb, you're taking a self selecting group of nutty broads. I've said it a million times. Here is the Airbnb crowd. Like, I would be a great candidate for Airbnb to reuse my house because I'm chillax and whatever. Give me half the money up front. Half.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't break nothing.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, whatever. If you do, who cares? Break the boy stuff. Whatever. Like, drink as much boo as you want. Just go to Trader Joe's and put it back before I come home or whatever. Like, I'd be perfect except for I would never do it. What you're getting with the group, The Airbnb group are divorced women in their 50s who got the house and need to make a little ends meet. And they're weird. I've stayed at these places for a reason. I've literally stayed at these places all over the world. And they're always a little bit off. I mean, we had the England. England. This crazy broad had pictures of her kids everywhere. Dog was everywhere, wanted to come in on Saturday and work, like, come back to her house while we were there. It's like, you don't mind if I use my office? Do you just. She was off.

[Gina Grad]

See that's the crazy thing. I've never actually I've stayed at a lot of Airbnbs. Cause it's on vacation. You kind of get your freedom that way and a little more room. But I've never stayed at one that somebody lived in. You've stayed at a lot of those?

[Brian Bishop]

I've stayed in a lot of lived in ones. I've stayed, I've had some great experiences, I've had a little nutty experience and I've had kind of in between. But the theme that's reoccurring for me is 50 something year old divorcee wanting to get some cash for the strange group of guys that are gonna stay in her house for four days. But not totally signed off with the concept of four dudes living in her house for four days. So like had some rules, you know what I mean? And it's like look, you need the cash, you've opened your door and now there's a lot of stuff floating around. And like there's a. When we stayed in Coronado in San Diego or whatever, there was no smoking on the property. Not on the patio, not in the backyard. On the patio sidewalk. You wanted to smoke a cigarette, you had to go stand in the street. Like weird sort of weird like first couple things, couple too many sort of home pictures like from back in the day that was her and Anita back when they were both married and their arms are around each other. Lots of books about what to do now that he's gone. Picking up the pieces me out the piece. Like a lot of self help stuff.

[Gina Grad]

Spread about like go to bend it no more.

[Brian Bishop]

I would try to lose a lot of that. I would have a big Tupperware size box that you get from Home Depot and all the personalized whatever just went into that just for those four days for the weekend. Yeah, but I got some nutty broads running that.

[Gina Grad]

Well you make an interesting point Brian. Besides the one that took us home that one night, would you say when it comes to, to nutty middle aged people, the men go for driving in the ride share companies and the women go for offering their homes.

[Brian Bishop]

Typically, typically I have, I have, I have not seen Gary or Matt. Fondelier's got to figure this. Fonda Leer's got to figure this out. I've stayed at Airbnb all over the place and I don't remember dealing with the dude. But it could be an 80, 20% thing. I feel, it always feels like the house was lost in the divorce. Thus the dude has moved on. Thus the chick who doesn't have enough money to keep the house up is left with the house and thus the Airbnb. Sounds like a fantastic idea. All right. I'll tell you what else is a fantastic idea. Legal Zoom. Mmm. Legal Zoom. Five things business owners can count on from LegalZoom reliability. More than a million people trusted LegalZoom to help start their business. Corporations, LLCs, nonprofits, DBAs and more. Number two, experience. They've been helping business owners for over 15 years. Three helpful support. All based in the United States of America, USA. Legal advice is number four. LegalZoom isn't a law firm, but. But they have a network of independent attorneys to review supplier contracts, help with employment law and more. And last but not least, no surprises. Complete transparency, upfront pricing, customer reviews, and satisfaction guaranteed. It is LegalZoom. LegalZoom. Dawson.

[E]

Check out LegalZoom today and see how.

[Brian Bishop]

They can help make life better for you and your business.

[E]

And don't forget to enter any Adam at checkout to save even more. Legalzoom.com.

[Brian Bishop]

So Monterey was a dude where I stayed. No reservation so far. Upcoming reservation in Monterey.

[Gina Grad]

Your first dude.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, my Upcoming. Oh, I've not. I've not lived one yet. Oh, they've all been girls. Oh, not girls. 56 year old women.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. So this is their baddie.

[Adam Carolla]

Exciting.

[Gina Grad]

I can't wait for you to report on the difference.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I've not really had like cigars waiting out.

[Gina Grad]

Leave, don't leave. Bye.

[Brian Bishop]

I think maybe this is me. Maybe. I think in a man's world. There we go. James Brown. No, once the dude says I'm putting my house on the market, you may stay here. And I will. A whole bunch of rules don't come along with it. Cause it's not an emotional. Guys are a little more like, look, they're paying 359 bucks a night. They get to do what they want. It becomes transactional and I'll come in and clean up.

[Gina Grad]

It's your house, not your home.

[Brian Bishop]

The gals like was like, you're staying here and you're paying me, but I still kind of need this from you.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Was kind of the vibe I was. I was getting.

[Gina Grad]

I see it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Anyway, sorry.

[Gina Grad]

Well, this might not be a good idea for an Airbnb. The Institute for Space Medicine and Physiology in Toulouse, France is looking for 24 people to stay in bed for 60 days straight. At the end of the 60 days, you'll get a check for 17,000 bucks. Here's the qualifications. You need to be in shape, healthy, a non smoker. Have a body mass index between 22 and 27 and be a man between the ages of 20 and 45. Scientists wanted.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like we could save a lot of money. My mom could just go deliver all the data she collected during the 70s.

[Adam Carolla]

Meticulously keeping data on myself.

[Brian Bishop]

I was on my back from 1971 to 1979. I didn't move a muscle. So what do you need to know?

[Gina Grad]

She'd be perfect about bone density.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll tell you all about it. I get up and you'll freak out every once in a while.

[Adam Carolla]

But I can forego that for 60.

[Brian Bishop]

Days with the study. She just report what she learned. How much weight she put on.

[Adam Carolla]

Take that out. You know.

[Gina Grad]

What are the age ranges between 20 and 45? You still make the cut.

[Brian Bishop]

I think my mom was in her mid-40s when she was doing this. I said she just all she needs a steno pad in 10 minutes. We can just take care of this whole thing. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

We should send Kin over there. He's got a passport. I think it might be a dual citizenship. His Mom's over there.

[Gina Grad]

60 days. He gets $17,000.

[Adam Carolla]

Working on it.

[Brian Bishop]

He's not dual yet. They want to know.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. I'll tell you why. Scientists want to study what effect prolonged periods of weightlessness will have on humans. Afterwards, participants will have two weeks of rehab where they'll be studied to see what effects it had on their bodies because they're trying to test it for astronauts.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw Willy Wonka. Those grandparents just pop right up and start dancing. Grandpa Joe, you've been in that bed for decades. You started dancing.

[Gina Grad]

Just watch that over the weekend.

[Brian Bishop]

Is it weightlessness?

[Gina Grad]

Weightlessness. And this is as close as they can get.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh. To just being. Oh. Oh. Dormant. Basically the way we can not have anything pushed back. Yes. This is. Well, getting back to and coming full circle. Talking about Randy Moss or whatever. You need that gravity. You want to do pushups. You have to have that weight. And they can't keep their bone density and their muscle mass in outer space because they don't have that pushing. You got to get up. Gotta sort of get up every day and feel that gravity and then lean into it and. And push it back and build that muscle and go out and get some.

[Gina Grad]

Absolutely.

[Brian Bishop]

And the psychological, spiritual, invisible component of this is every bit as real as the physical tangible version. Which is you need that adversity and obstacles and what have you and you need to just go out, overcome those things, persevere, and all that kind of stuff. Stuff in the face of some adversity sometimes. And you will have a stronger build if you go do that. Physically and spiritually, they're both sort of a metaphor for each other, but they're exactly the same.

[Gina Grad]

Absolutely.

[Brian Bishop]

And as a matter of fact, as I think about us, in whatever goes on psychologically and whatever goes on physically, all the same rules apply. They're just rules, which is you don't get to do this, or you do get to do that, or you can do this, but it's going to catch up to you if you do that or whatever it is moderation. The emotional part and the physical part are both exactly the same.

[Adam Carolla]

Deal with this now, or else it's going to be a bigger problem.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. And I think we've definitely settled on the part where you go, hey, son, don't eat dessert at noon. Instead, we should go out for a walk and have a piece of healthy fruit. Like, we get that we're not getting the psychological part of what these kids need to do. All right.

[Gina Grad]

I'm just wondering, can I ask you really quickly? We were talking about your mom and the weightlessness. How would your mom be running an Airbnb? First of all, she'd stay, right? She wouldn't leave while the guests.

[Adam Carolla]

One bedroom's off limits. Everything else, knock yourself out.

[Gina Grad]

Can you imagine?

[Brian Bishop]

Reminds me of an old Benny Hill joke. She'd come back in, and my stepdad John, if he spent spoke, I'd say, okay, we're going to Airbnb. We're giving our house up for Airbnb. What's the price? And she'd say, 100 bucks a night. And he'd say, 100 bucks a night. And she'd say, it's all we could afford to give them. Because you would literally have to be paid. You would have to be paid to stay in my mom's house. As an Airbnb situation, you would have to get payment.

[Gina Grad]

You'd need a certain body mass index to get to your room through the fridge.

[Adam Carolla]

True.

[Gina Grad]

Get a running scissor, get some Crisco on the sides.

[Brian Bishop]

Fair. One component I've never talked about is not only do we have two front doors, but my mom's bedroom had two doors. You could go through the living room, walk by the refrigerator, and walk out into this miniature hallway. It was like the Winchester Mystery Gardening Shed. You don't want to say mansion. It was like if the Winchester house had a Gardening shed. That's what it was. Just a bunch of weird. Yes. It was built like 100 years ago and it was weird and it was not well thought out. And I wish it upon nobody. And that's why it was bought for $650,000 two years ago and bulldozed. I don't economically. You buy a house in the Valley for $650,000. Oh, maybe you put 150 into the kitchen and put a half bath and try to flip it and get 900 out of it. But start over, bulldoze, raise it to the ground in a small lot. Okay, there you go, everybody. Let's bring it home.

[Gina Grad]

You got it. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Brian Bishop]

Shut up, whore. Gina. Gina. Oh my God. Oh my God.

[Gina Grad]

What is he doing?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh my God.

[Adam Carolla]

Shut.

[Brian Bishop]

Shut up, bitch. Shut up, whore. Oh my God. Should you sign off LifeLock, baby? Where was I? Oh, there's a breach. An online. Oh, online tool used for student loan applications may have compromised up to 100,000 taxpayers. Uh oh, wait till John and Ken hear about this. Identity thieves use the stolen data to file fake tax returns and get 30 million in fraudulent refunds. Let's not let that happen to you. Identity theft is America's fastest growing crime. That's why I have Lifelock. If you. If you have a problem, they're US based. They're out here and they don't outsource. They are US based and they will fix it. But you're not going to have a problem. You've got Lifelock. I have it. My kids have it. Philly Cheesesteak has it. The wife has it, everyone has it. Because all we do is buy stuff online and we want to protect our identity. No one can prevent all identity theft at all transactions at all business. But LifeLock is the best protection available. Membership starts at just $9.99 a month. Peace of mind. For $9.99 a month, it's LifeLock. Dawson. Go to LifeLo or call 1-800-lifelock and use promo code Adam. That's Adam. For 10% off your LifeLock Ultimate plus membership, visit lifelock.com and save 10% now. All right, Corolla drinks. Lynette's going to be judging at a bikini contest coming up in a Hooters. And that's coming up at. On the 20th of April. Nine o', clock, Costa Mesa.

[Adam Carolla]

4:20.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, 4:20. Also Long Beach. That's the following Saturday. All right, that's April 2nd, 27th at 9:00 clock 27th. Oh, I'm sorry, 27th. Go to Corolla drinks for more details. Shut up, whore. New limited shirts. I agree with me. It's available as we speak. And go to mcrol.com, you get the mugs, the hats, posts, all that kind of stuff. And me and Prager know Safe Spaces number one on iTunes. Loving you. So check that out. Itunes, Amazon, bleh, blah blah blah. Watch that spike show and check it out online. Adamcroll.com Click through our banner, blah blah blah. And until next time, Adam Kroll for Gina grand and Paul Brian saying mahalo.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, this is Adam Kroll Show 2049.

[Brian Bishop]

Coming up next, we have Adam Kroll Show 2050. In the very next episode, Brian Posein G Brian bishop, also from 2017, Brian Posein. Good to see you, man.

[E]

Hey man, how are you?

[Brian Bishop]

Really enjoyed the special.

[E]

Oh, thanks.

[Brian Bishop]

25 times two. It's available now on all digital audio platforms. I know it was done a little bit ago before the election. Was sort of comical.

[E]

I called it though.

[Brian Bishop]

You did. And it was good. It was, it was like I shot.

[E]

It two weeks before.

[Brian Bishop]

Before the election.

[E]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

It was a really funny bit at the end, but the whole standup special was funny, but it was thought provoking. Like it had lots of good sort of psychological angles, I thought. Really? Yeah, I did, I did.

[Gina Grad]

Did you not see it that way?

[E]

Well, for me, I actually was trying on this one. Like I actually made an effort. Well, I was trying to talk about things that actually mean something instead of just telling fart and wiener jokes.

[Brian Bishop]

That's kind of what I'm saying. It felt like, I mean, it was funny, but it was the kind of funny where you're digging into a truth or two a little bit. Yeah.

[E]

And I've done like a couple of records that were really self deprecating heavy and I feel like this wasn't that. This was me kind of going into a couple of things that I care about and like, I never want to get overly political, but I mean, that's what that final bit is.

[Brian Bishop]

But very funny.

[E]

It's me kind of doing my take on political correctness and you know, and.

[Brian Bishop]

The losing of £50.

[E]

Over 60 now.

[Brian Bishop]

Over 60 now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you doing that?

[E]

Just, I always say stopped eating like a dick is the big thing. Like I was just eating, I was eating poorly and just making bad decisions and you know, took a doctor, it took my wife and people going, man, man, you're looking really heavy. My mom, of course, still Gives me. Oh, your gut's still sticking out. And I'm like, nice.

[Gina Grad]

Thanks.

[Brian Bishop]

What were you at your peak?

[E]

320.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. When you're a big guy and you could spread it around, but still almost.

[E]

67320, that's like, yeah, big wrestler. Now I want to be, like, the lean wrestler, like a Roman Reigns. Like a six' six, you know, when.

[Adam Carolla]

You walked in, I was like, oh, Roman Reigns is booked today.

[Brian Bishop]

That's weird. Is there extra, extra pressure? And I'm thinking of Penn Jillette being a huge guy and being a nerd and a bit of a puss.

[E]

I don't mean that in a bad way.

[Brian Bishop]

Growing up, like, Penn Jillette would explain to me, like, he'd get bullied because he was a nerd. And, you know, this and that and the other. And it's like, you're a huge guy and you're getting recruited to play football.

[Adam Carolla]

By the coach in the hallway.

[E]

Oh, I had the wrestling coach lived in my neighborhood, and his son was also a wrestler, and they just wanted to beat me up in their front yard. Was the whole thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, here, come over. We'll teach.

[E]

You should be on the wrestling team. Because I was lanky, but I didn't get huge till after I graduated. I grew 8 inches in one year, from 17 to 18 after I graduated high school.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Physically painful.

[E]

Growing pains. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[E]

I would be screaming in the night because it was like, you know, the American Werewolf in London, where, you know, you could actually see. I could feel my bones growing and my legs. My legs were the most painful. And I still get, like, you know, those kind of weird growing things.

[Brian Bishop]

You're still growing?

[E]

Well, no, but I mean, it feels like that I get leg pain. And so because being the big guy, you know, big guys die early.

[Brian Bishop]

I told that Kareem Abdul Jabbar, he didn't go over well.

[E]

No, I know he didn't. That's part of why I got healthy, too, because it's, like carrying that much around in my frame, you know, I just wanted to get as lean as I could. But. Yeah, but I say. And I didn't turn into Hodor until after I graduated. Like, if I would have been Hodor, so I wouldn't have taken anything from bullies. Like, who'd you call a homo Hodor?

[Brian Bishop]

It's a. And weird because I think Penn was just a huge guy, but he did take stuff from bullies. Just.

[E]

I definitely.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a wiring. It's definitely a wiring. When you're that age, like, there's two things I think for a dude. Being bullied and getting chicks is just a wiring. When you go back, you go, that guy wasn. Than anybody else. He just had that sort of swagger. And he'd walk right up to him and it was oftentimes like the shortest, scrawniest guy that just had the game. Or his hair was just right.

[Gina Grad]

He knew how to loop his woven belt better.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And he just.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I went to high school and junior high with a ton of those dudes. And you go back and look at them now in like your yearbook and stuff, they don't look like anything.

[Gina Grad]

Brian Bishop.

[Brian Bishop]

Just. You're just swimming in low self esteem.

[E]

And thought I was funny. Funny worked for me later. But no, in high school, people just thought it was weird. Like I would say funny things and they'd go, you're weird. You know?

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[E]

Well, though I'm funny.

[Brian Bishop]

The only one.

[E]

My mom says I'm funny.

[Brian Bishop]

If there was one person that thought you're funny, he had red hair, a cowlick, and was named Zeb. I was like, taller than you. Like that. It's not like there's no hot. It was 16 that appreciated your humor.

[E]

Well, I actually got saved by like one of the most popular kids at my school by junior year. We met during summer school and so when we went back to school, like, we bonded over Pink Floyd's the Final Cut. Like, we both thought that was a great record. And so it got me in with this total jock and he was like the most popular and he told everybody to kind of, hey, Posein's funny. Leave him alone.

[Brian Bishop]

You know.

[E]

And then that worked. Did any Totally turned around.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a movie there any Totally.

[E]

It was like My Bodyguard because I actually got the crap beaten out of me. And then he beat the crap out of the kid that did it. A kid stomped on my face because I really. Yeah, I puked on him in a 7 11. Well, I puked on his girlfriend.

[Gina Grad]

That'll show him.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Full of Mickey's big mouths. The old cliche. Full of Mickey's big mouths at 16.

[E]

Just had no business drinking like eight of them. And then we were in 711 and I'm like, you guys, I don't feel so good. And I go storming out the door and kick the door open and I'm like, I'm gonna throw up. And I thought people would get out of my way. And I turned, just went yak and get in my friend's car. And this dude opens the door and goes, you puked on my girlfriend, man.

[Brian Bishop]

And so you puked on the girlfriend. He pulled you out of the car, obviously, after just puking and doing eight of the Mickey's Big Mouth with the malt liquor there. You're not in any condition to really defend yourself.

[E]

Oh, I just fell to the ground and he just kicked me and punched me while I was laying on the ground. Yeah, there was nothing. And then my friends are like, he'll be okay. Like, nobody jumped in.

[Brian Bishop]

You do really realize they threw me.

[E]

In my front yard and like, you know, didn't even ring the bell to tell my mom. Like, I'm just laying there, you know.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Bishop]

Friends. Yeah, people, by the way, idyllic things like that. All this stuff that went on, I mean, there would be so many felony charges.

[E]

Absolutely.

[Brian Bishop]

Just the stuff my friends.

[E]

And it would be on camera.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

My friends would have filmed me getting my butt.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, right. And there would be literally charges. I mean, my friends just in what they did to each other. Not even their enemies would be brought up on multiple felony charges and aggravated assaults and everything else. Sexual harassment, all in one Cuisinart, man.

[E]

I remember a story about 15 years ago. Kids filming themselves shooting paint guns at people. And that was like the beginning of kind of filming yourselves doing stuff. And I was like, oh, man, that totally was what happened to me. Like, I would have done the dumb thing and filmed it.

[Brian Bishop]

It's impossible to even think of having a paint gun, a paintball gun, when you were in high school and not firing it at a motor vehicle, literally. My buddy Ray got hold of a spear gun, Jack Donitz's spear gun, inside of a house and fired it through the hamper and through the wall like that. Something that could kill somebody. Paint gun would have been, oh, for sure. Like our child's play. Yeah, John, our guy lived up the street named John Tyler. He'd, like, call us, me and my buddy Chris, and go, hey, why don't you guys come over and hang out and watch some football or something? And me and my buddy Chris come walking up and we ringing the doorbell. And at some point, him and his buddy Chet would just pop up. They were on the roof and they're like. And you're like, what's up? And they're like, you got 10 seconds. And they had BB guns. And the whole thing about the 10 second thing is they never honor the 10 second countdown. Because if you really think about it, when you're scared and you're hauling ass, you can get about 80 yards away in 10 seconds. It's. What happens is they go 10 and then they go nine. And you try to argue for about the first four seconds and then you. When they get to six, they get to about six and a half. You start with running and when you start running, they just start firing. That's how it works.

[Gina Grad]

Now, of course, his name was Chet, by the way.

[Brian Bishop]

Chet. Chet, by the way, was the guy. Asian guy, managed to amp him. And I threw up on somebody as well because of Chet. Because they were trying to. To, you know, drink the Mickey's big mouth thing when I was, you know, 16. And that malt liquor is rough on a 16 year old. Like it just doesn't go down.

[Adam Carolla]

We drink it like beer, but it's malt liquor.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And it's. And everyone's wanting to chug it and everything else and it's.

[E]

I didn't even think about that. That must be what I did wrong.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Because I've never had it since malt liquor.

[Gina Grad]

Does it have a higher alcohol content than beer?

[Brian Bishop]

It does, but it tastes like hell. And you chug it and it's bad. And they were all making fun of me because I couldn't, you know, start drinking it. Start coming out of your nose or whatever. And at some point we went over the AMPM in North Hollywood and we just got a big bottle of like Gallo White, Strawberry, whatever. Yeah. And I said, now this stuff tastes sweet and it's not carbonated. So now this I can show you can see me, and took a tumbler just like the one I'm holding and just sort of like filled it up and I just drank it down like. Like I was chugging a Gatorade after a basketball game or something. After about three of those, we were in the back of a VW Squareback and I just turned to John and just. Chuck just heaved in the car, in the back of the car. And the thing that was comical and I don't know why, he had two sweaters, a blue one and a red one. And because we were going out somewhere that night and I didn't have anything to wear, he said, I'll wear the blue one, you wear the red one. And I yacked all over his sweater and both his sweaters. It was all over me and then all over him as well. They just dropped me off in the driveway.

[Gina Grad]

It's for the best.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Slept in the.

[E]

Don't even ring the doorbell here.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, hell no. So your mom. So you grew up single mom. Where was dad?

[E]

He died when I was little.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, he did?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Is it sad, touch, weird, touchy or touch. Well, I probably got into it, but I just mean, like, were you close? Did you know him well?

[E]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

2.

[E]

Everything was like, yeah, yeah, I was two years old, so I don't remember anything. So it was all like, you used to do this, you know, you would wait for him and, you know, I don't really have any real memories of it. And everything about him was just everything people told me about him. It's actually he wanted to be a comic, which is. But my mom didn't tell me till after I was doing stand up comedy. She's like, oh, he thought of doing that. I'm like, why didn't you tell me when I told you I was thinking of doing that, why didn't you tell me then? But, yeah, but it was just one of those things.

[Brian Bishop]

What do you think in terms of damaging psychologically, what happened to you with your dad passing away too, or the dad that just moves to Florida and never really has any contact with that son?

[E]

Either way, I would think. But, you know, if it's where the dad kind of screwed up, I think then you go with more resentment. For me, it wasn't. There was no resentment. It was just like. And I really didn't know till later, you know, like seeing other people's experiences. And in the 70s, so many of my friends had screwed up dads too. Like, where it was like, well, at least my dad isn't that guy.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, my dad. Yeah, yeah. I do think as tragic as it is, you don't at least have the baggage to deal with with the guy.

[E]

My grandfather stepped up. My grandfathers, both of them stepped up.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, really?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, we're really involved. We were all in California, so I would see them a lot. You know, we weren't in the same town, but eventually we moved to Sonoma, where one of my grandfathers was.

[Brian Bishop]

The mean streets of Sonoma, where he was bullied mercilessly at a vineyard. My grandpa stepped up too. And you can feel a lot of voids if grandpa stepped up. You know, it's like any port in a storm. You're just a kid, you just need some guy. Once they teach you how to do something in a shop or something or anything, right?

[E]

Yeah. I had one that was mechanical and one that I didn't get anything from him, but.

[Brian Bishop]

And the I know how to hire a guy. The I should. We'll do a little nerd walking. I'll tell you the special 25 times 2. Again, available on all digital audio audio platforms. You can also available to stream it on CISO. And dates coming up, Lexington, Kentucky. Coming up, April 27th through 29th, Hyena's Comedy Club in Fort Worth. That's May 4th and 5th. And what you should do is go to Brian Posane. It's P-O-S-E H N dot com. And find out all the dates. Right? Yep. All right, let's do a little nerd walking. Explain nerd walking. Nerds. We're asking nerds if they know what guys who aren't dorks should know. They are all virgins. It's time for nerd walking, cuz you are nerds. All right, so who went out? Dylan went out to a local Magic the Gathering tournament in Hollywood. So he spoke to a few gentlemen. Not all of them were totally amenable to us taking pictures.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian was there.

[Brian Bishop]

These may not be the best pictures, but it's good round. You don't even write.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, we're not writing.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't think you remember. I can't remember. Yeah. Yes or no? Go ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

Who is supermodel Giselle Bunchen? Married, too. And we're looking at the nerdy ass.

[Brian Bishop]

Now. I know there's bunching. Is it bunching?

[Gina Grad]

Bunchin. Bunchin.

[Brian Bishop]

Bunching. Okay. All right, so he probably knows that. No. Tom Brady just won the Super Bowl. It's hard to separate those two.

[E]

I mean, I don't know football, but I know that.

[Gina Grad]

Well, the shirt says yes, but the pompadour says no.

[Brian Bishop]

No. I'm going to say yes. Brian, you say yes. I think that's Gina.

[Gina Grad]

I'll say no.

[Brian Bishop]

You say no.

[Adam Carolla]

Nerds love hot chicks. I'll say yes.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, so three yes is one.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, who is supermodel Gisele Bunchen married to Andre Agassi?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. He dressed an athlete, and he was a deep cut with Andre as well.

[Gina Grad]

You got to look at that hair, people.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I also think sometimes nerds are a little passive aggressive and just.

[E]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Part of that is not caring about sports. He doesn't want to get caught caring. All right, well, we're over one, but Gene is out strong. Here we go.

[Adam Carolla]

Finish this sentence. Eli Archie Payton.

[Brian Bishop]

Ooh. Sticking with a quarterback theme.

[Gina Grad]

Do you not know the answer?

[Brian Bishop]

But.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, for a second, I thought they were trying to name the fourth the other brother. I'm like, why would she?

[E]

I know more sports than I thought.

[Brian Bishop]

Two for two.

[E]

I Know this like Cooper Manning.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm like, how is she supposed to know that?

[Gina Grad]

Now this is a lovely lady this time.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, but. But, yeah, right. You were thinking for the fourth brother.

[Adam Carolla]

How is he?

[Brian Bishop]

Who works at a Rite Aid copper?

[Adam Carolla]

Manning.

[Brian Bishop]

I was supposed to know who that is. So Manning. Okay, I'm gonna go. No, I'm going.

[E]

No, I know it, but I don't think. Think she does.

[Brian Bishop]

Gina.

[Gina Grad]

I don't think she knows it.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just going to edge out and say. Yes, finish this sentence. Eli. Archie. Payton Manning. Keep in mind that Peyton Manning's commercials are ubiquitous on tv.

[E]

That's true.

[Adam Carolla]

She must have seen him at some point.

[Gina Grad]

Girls know stuff. I should give him more credit.

[E]

Yeah, and I know it. And I don't give girls.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, remember, pose a canary in the coal mine.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you know these? What does the company Hilti make? I like the passive aggressive. I'm not looking at the camera for the same.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, no. This guy said, I will not take a picture. So we snuck one.

[Gina Grad]

It looks like his thousand yard stare.

[Adam Carolla]

What does the company Hilti make?

[Gina Grad]

I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

Hilti couldn't tell you.

[E]

Well, they make, like, power tools, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Hilti started in the, like, earthquakes world.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that the 20th most popular manufacturer.

[Brian Bishop]

Of power tools tools after Milwaukee? Well, it's a deep cut. Hilti started by making, like, when I used to do earthquake rehab, they made all the epoxies and the epoxy guns.

[Adam Carolla]

Hilti.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[E]

Look at their market share.

[Adam Carolla]

Less than 5%. I'm throwing this out.

[Brian Bishop]

A lot of these anchors and things like that. And then they've expanded as the years went on, like everything into making drills and stuff of that nature. But. But Hilti's a weird deep cut. It's a weird deep cut. And so for that reason, we'd all just say no.

[Adam Carolla]

He's gotta be honest for a reason. You know, we gotta wait tips to air this question.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't underestimate me.

[E]

Like me, he saw a guy use one one time.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

A nerd, A bully. Beat him up with one with a power drill.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, so, Brian, what do you say?

[E]

I'm gonna say yes. Say yes because I'm losing the way I was.

[Brian Bishop]

Gina.

[Gina Grad]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

No. Tina says no. I say no. Brian.

[Adam Carolla]

I say no. He's gonna give a really smart ass answer.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

No extra credit.

[Adam Carolla]

What does the company Hilti make? Hilti.

[Brian Bishop]

Purses. Oh, good.

[Gina Grad]

That's what I would have said.

[Brian Bishop]

Good. Now, now, be angry that we had that stupid. That we went that deep in power Tool Hilti. All right, all right, what else? Let's do one more.

[Adam Carolla]

Who is Rich Eisen?

[Brian Bishop]

Ooh, we have a tie. So if you're only doing Rich Eisen. Well, we'll figure it out. Rich Eisen, you talk too much. Yeah, that's Rich Eisen. I'm going to say no.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian, do you know who Rich Eisen is?

[E]

No. He's like a sports commentator.

[Adam Carolla]

Sports caster.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Are we not going to comment on the fact that this could be Adam Kroll and Jimmy Kimmel's love child?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, really? Look at this guy.

[Gina Grad]

Look at that hair.

[Brian Bishop]

I have a picture.

[E]

I don't know if any love was.

[Brian Bishop]

I have a picture from 96 of me and Jimmy's love child. What? What? That you weren't looking at when you suggested that.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God. This is what their child would look like. There you go. Wow, he's a cute one.

[Brian Bishop]

We went to a convention in Vegas in 96, and there's a booth, and it was like, hey, if you and your honey bunny get in this booth, we can see what your kid's gonna look like. So we just did one with me and Jimmy, and we ended up with Arme. The thing that's funny is they both had a. He had a shadow of a beard, even though he's six years old, because Jimmy handshaved and I hadn't shaved.

[Adam Carolla]

Technology hadn't caught up yet.

[Brian Bishop]

Not 90, not 96. So this is what our kid would look like. But it's funny that you brought that up, because I was just digging through a bunch of old pictures and found.

[E]

It and thought, well, that's what he looks like now. He grew up since 96.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, I say 90. No pose.

[E]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

Gina.

[Gina Grad]

I'm going to say yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian, yes.

[E]

It's going to be yes, because I've gotten everything so far.

[Adam Carolla]

Who is Rich Eisen? Famous poet.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, I got one tiebreaker.

[E]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Brian Bishop]

It's. It's Gina, me and Brian. All right, three way tiebreaker. No.

[Gina Grad]

Pick a number.

[Brian Bishop]

Who starred in the movie Cobra?

[Gina Grad]

All right, so there is no way.

[Brian Bishop]

In hell I'm going to go yes, and Brian will go no, and then you guys can just finish on a two way win. No.

[Adam Carolla]

Who starred in the movie Cobra?

[Brian Bishop]

Not sure. Cobra. Was it Sylvester? Yay. What?

[E]

I had a feeling.

[Brian Bishop]

Did I just win? Yes. Yes. I knew it.

[Hank Azaria]

Sylvester Stallone.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, she's older, and she likes fantasies. Yeah. Okay.

[Gina Grad]

Well done.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you, nerd walking. Cause you are nerds.

[Hank Azaria]

Nerds.

[Brian Bishop]

Ah, yes. Tommy John spring cleaning this year. Let's start with the underwear drawer, Everybody. Tommy John 21st century underwear. I'm wearing them right now. All I can say is once you go with the Tommy John, it's hard to go back. It's hard to go back to the old underwear you're wearing. State of the art design. Patented fabrics eliminate bunching. Giselle bunching and then squishing and riding up. No, it's so good. I'm wearing them now because perfect for like underneath the sweatpants. And I'm wearing the sweatpants now. Plus you can get your complete line of evolved undershirts. Just better. They're form fitting, lightweight. Stay tucked in, that's important. And wick away the moisture. It's just the best socks that stay up as well all day long backed by the best pair you'll ever wear or it's free. Free guarantee. It's Tommy John. And like I said, once you go, you're never going back. It is Tommy John dawson. Hurry to tommyjohn.com now and save 20% on your first order with promo code Adam. That's promo code Adam for 20% off [e-mail], tommyjohn.com. all right, well, take a little breather on the news, Gina grad, because I gots to go tape myself a big fat old TV show today and I'll Brian posayn. I would go to Brian Posane p O. Find out about live dates and the specials and wherever Brian's going to be. Yes, Brian. Yep.

[E]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

My pleasure. Until next time. Oh, and if you're gonna go through Amazon, bookmark us, man. Show a little love. So until next time, Adam Crow for Brian posay. And Gina Grandma Ryan saying mahalo.

[E]

My mom says I'm funny.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, that was Brian Posayn on the 2017 crew episode with Gina and Brian. Hope you guys enjoyed these clips. Until next time, mahalo and get it on.

[Hank Azaria]

Sam.