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Adam Carolla
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Podcast Narrator
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, super fan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Corolla show. There is a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics. It's a premium only feed without ads. If you'd like to sign up, make sure to check out Podcast one Premium. And if you'd like to find ad free archives of the Adam Carolla show or the Adam and Dr. Drew show or exclusive access to Adam's brand new show, Beat it Out. Make sure to check out Adam Corolla's substack adamcorla.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsdamkarla.com alright, let's get to the clips coming up. First we have ADAM Carla Show 1101 featuring Larry Miller. Featuring Larry Miller, Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop. This one's from 2012.
Adam Carolla
Get it on. Welcome the show and especially Larry Miller. Good to see you, my friend. Hi, pal. Oh, ever since you've been gone, tweet after tweet after tweet. When is Larry coming back? A lot of angry tweets. Angry tweets, suspicious tweets.
Larry Miller
And I don't make tweets like that more often than this show. I did it for you.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I see. That was for me.
Larry Miller
Look, it's nice to know that folks say, what happened to the guy?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, no, it's good. It's when they stop saying what happened to the guy, that's when you're in trouble. So Larry, and we got a million things. We got some hypothetical road trip to do Father's Day stories. We'll find out how baldy would do as well. So Larry, let's tell the story. As much of it as you're comfortable with, as much of it as you remember. And know what. What. What happened. What. What went on and how long has it been?
Larry Miller
14 months. It was in April of 2012. I was coming out of doing work at Children's Charity center the way I do. Okay, it was a bar still.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Brian Bishop
There could have been kids there.
Adam Carolla
There could have been kids. That's my point.
Larry Miller
See, I knew a mentor you guys would understand. But you know what? I did something I've never done before. I slipped, I tripped, I fell backwards into a stone wall. And you know what? People die from that. And I almost died. But I'm not saying that to be melodramatic. I'm saying for the next couple of days, I saw. They took me to UCLA hospital and there was a great doctor there who took the top of my head off and put it in the freezer. And again, I'm not saying that to be.
Adam Carolla
Wow. I mean, honestly, there was bleeding inside the skull.
Larry Miller
Yeah. And then what happens is the brain. The brain swells.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Larry Miller
Enjoy your dinner, folks. By the way, and I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I got better. I didn't die my wife, by the way, because they put you in a coma intentionally to take the top of the head off and let the thing.
Adam Carolla
They induce a coma. Yeah, they got Drive on Blu Ray. And at the second and a half viewing of Drive, you do go into it and you see Gosling with his toothpick and his Memoirs only jacket. At a certain point, you just start flatlining.
Larry Miller
Sure. Every movie that's come out in the last two years where most people watch it and say, I can't. I can't watch this anymore. But you know what?
Adam Carolla
How do they induce a coma?
Larry Miller
Well, it's pretty technical and I don't know, so.
Adam Carolla
But you can say you've been in one.
Larry Miller
Yeah, absolutely. And I don't know, I kind of.
Adam Carolla
Like to say I've been in one just to say I've been in one.
Brian Bishop
I think you just did. But we know you're lying.
Adam Carolla
But no one who can really push you. You know what I mean? Like, if I went, it kind of felt like I was in. You know, that. Here's what you do. It covers almost everything. You know that feeling of right before you fall asleep, but you're not really asleep yet, but you're not awake, but you're in that kind of own. It's like that. Is anyone gonna go, oh, fucking bullshit. You don't know shit about comas.
Allison Rosen
No one would.
Adam Carolla
No one would ever call you on that.
Larry Miller
Now I can say coma. Yeah, I've done it. By the way, there was one funny thing. My wife, who was very tough, was arguing with the insurance companies day by day.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. She's saying, he's totaled. I need to be paid. They were saying, I think we can fix them, total them out. New husband. Come on now.
Larry Miller
She was so strong. And by the way, she got a call from. She really did have things done to the house when I was in a coma and I was in rehab after that. And what are you gonna say? What can you say?
Brian Bishop
What did she do? What kind of hate did she make, Ton?
Larry Miller
I mean, she'd say to me on the phone when I was, say, either still in the hospital or went into this rehab house for a month and see, everything's fine, the kid's fine, you know, and this. And we'll call later. I gonna go pick him up. And, boy, that guy didn't bring the couches back today the way he said he would. And so we're all fine here. And, you know, you let things pass a lot. And then I'd say, the what?
Adam Carolla
The couch?
Larry Miller
And she. And she'd say, always the same thing, without kidding. She'd say, we've talked about this for years and you knew it was gonna happen. And she got a call when I was in icu, when I was still in a coma. I was in there for, say, 10 days in a coma. And the guy called and said, oh, hi, Mrs. Miller. I'm. This is Arthur. Whatever the guy's name was. And, you know, want to know when you want me to come by to put in the new floors.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Larry Miller
Wood floors?
Adam Carolla
Sure. For the new house. She said she put this place up for the new man.
Brian Bishop
She hates Berber.
Larry Miller
Well, what can you do? You've got to get new sheets and a new floor.
Adam Carolla
Sure.
Larry Miller
And she said that. She said, whispering, and she said, afterwards, you're in a coma. I didn't have to whisper, but she said, my husband is in a coma. And he'd say, I'm so, so sorry. Listen, don't worry about this now. We'll do this another time. And then she said, wait. How long will it take? She actually didn't. He said, three days. I'm so sorry. She said, can you do it in two? I'm in the ice cream now. And he said, yes. And so the house is completely, completely different.
Adam Carolla
So they induce this coma.
Larry Miller
Yes.
Adam Carolla
They drill holes and remove skull pieces and things because the swelling. And did they literally remove a piece of the skull?
Larry Miller
Yes, and they put it in a freezer.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Larry Miller
And so there are, you know, some pictures I really don't need to see, but I am the luckiest guy in the world. And by the way, after I came 10 days of the coma, and this is all absolutely true, I'll be doing this in the theatrical show. I'm going to write a book about this. But after 10 days in the coma, she got home, put the kids to bed, and then walked out on the balcony from our bedroom that looks into the backyard there. And she started screaming at God. And she said, you know what? I've had it. This is it. Take him now or heal him, but do it tonight and do it right now. And she got to the hospital the next day again, and the doctor said to her, well, I've got good news for you. He's recovering. He's out of the coma now, and he's not going to die. It's not one of those maybe death days. And he said, last night was amazing. He just came out and she said to him, what time did this happen last night? Was it around midnight? And he said, in fact, it was exactly midnight. And he came out and now we can put him back together and he'll, you know, he'll be healing now. And she started to. She teared up. And he said to her, so you're crying because you're happy? And she said, well, no, I'm crying because last night when I was yelling at God, I didn't also say, how about new furniture? And so there were many, many.
Adam Carolla
Did that make her more religious? Is she a religious person, your wife?
Larry Miller
Well, you know what, we talk so little anyway.
Adam Carolla
Sure.
Larry Miller
That she's. Well, that was. That's a religious thing to do. You're actually yelling at God.
Adam Carolla
No. It is. No, when you're, you know, when the Titanic is capsized and you're hanging from the fake Christmas tree, before you go through the plate glass thing, you start talking to God. But other than that, we don't do a lot of. I don't do a lot of talking to God. You're saying. Was that one of her rare conversations with God?
Larry Miller
Well, yes, especially in a screaming mode.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, sure.
Larry Miller
And in fact, she said to the doctor later, when she left that day, because she was very. He said, come here. And he came, took her over to the bed, and I was still out of it, and I was eyes closed. And he said, larry, listen, your wife's here. Give her a Little hand signal to let her know you've come out of it. And I gave a thumbs up signal and she was very, very touching. And he said, now you know how we do it here. Give her another signal. Now, different from that, just to show you weren't kidding. So I gave her a V for victory. And it was very touching. And she said to him, later, as she was leaving, she went over to the nurses station. She said to him, say, I'm just curious, by the way, did any patients give different hand signals? Like maybe like one finger, like a middle finger? And he said, oh, yeah, they all do, but those are the ones that die.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Larry Miller
And she started to laugh and then looked at his face and realized he's not kidding.
Adam Carolla
And so, you know the ones who live the longest, the ones that do the V with the tongue in between, let the lady know you're open for business as soon as you get that skull sewed back on.
Larry Miller
Yeah, but those are the guys who go right to a happy hour.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Larry Miller
You know what, though? And there were many, many wonderful, funny experiences, many touching ones in the rehab house. You're with soldiers who've been wounded.
Adam Carolla
And I went to the rehab house.
Larry Miller
I know.
Adam Carolla
Now, can you tell me your nome de plume over there? I can't remember what your handle was.
Larry Miller
Oh, holy mackerel. Neither can I. What was it? Your wife, handsome.
Adam Carolla
Your wife came up with the fake name. Oh, oh, right.
Allison Rosen
Not Larry Miller.
Larry Miller
Right, exactly. Because they said at the hospital initially.
Adam Carolla
Do you want to use Fred Stone?
Larry Miller
Right, that's what it is, Fred Stone. Because they asked if you want to use a name. Look, it's great to be in show business. Folks are nice enough in hotels to ask things like that. I have. I say thank you. No, it's not necessary, but thank you for asking. And in this. Once they put me into a coma, they said to my wife, okay, you should really. You should really get a fake name now, because people are going to be calling and reporters and all sorts of things.
Adam Carolla
You made the mistake of going with Lenny Kravitz, which only made the phone ring more.
Larry Miller
But that's. No, he's so popular, it rang more.
Adam Carolla
That's a huge tactical error on her part.
Allison Rosen
Disappointed nurses.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Jesus Christ. Cock and balls hanging out and everything.
Larry Miller
I could have used that name too.
Adam Carolla
You do. Lenny Scathetter. I just ate.
Larry Miller
Well, she said his name is the only name he's ever liked, really, is Fred. And they said, all right, Fred. What? And she said, all I can think of is Fred Flintstone.
Adam Carolla
Now.
Larry Miller
And that's. That would be too stupid. They said, well, how about just Fred Stone? Fine. And so at some of the rehab there I was doing subsequently in. In. In. In Encino. I'd go in and a nice young woman at the desk would always say, oh, good morning, Mr. Stone.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Larry Miller
And I, you know, it's just a place. I'd say, listen, that's very nice of you, but I. That's. It doesn't matter.
Adam Carolla
It's very nice of you to call that place Encino. That's Reseda. If it's. It could be even Northridge or is that another place?
Larry Miller
That was another place.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you're right.
Larry Miller
I didn't jump them up.
Adam Carolla
I went to that place.
Larry Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And I knocked on the door. So it's like it was a residential type place. And I knocked on the door and I said, I'm here to see Fred. Crap. And they said, who? I said, you know, Larry Miller. Who? Larry Miller. We don't have anyone by. I don't. Fred something. Fred something. Fred Stouffer. Stuffing something. Fred Sherwood. Sorry. I'm sorry. We don't have a Fred Sherwood here. Larry Miller. You know that guy. We don't have a Larry Miller or Fred Stouffer here.
Larry Miller
Well, he's four feet behind you playing backgammon.
Adam Carolla
I said, yeah, do I gotta. I can call my. I can go check my emails or call my sister or something. Go find the fake name for Larry Miller. I don't know what you mean, sir. It's like, wow, you guys are pros. Except for I want to kill you.
Larry Miller
Yeah, that was, by the way, a kill moment of just. Because really, it's a nice house, a regular house. Nothing fancy, but they did a fine job there. You know, most of them were really good, and they put people back together again when they needed it and. But yeah, that was the case where I'm just.
Adam Carolla
Oh, come on. Yeah. So I had to go back to my car. I think I left my cell phone in my car or something like that. And then go scroll through some old emails and stuff like that to find that I came back with Fred Stone.
Brian Bishop
I have a question going back to him before. How did you feel about the part of your wife's bargaining with God? That was either just take him now.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. What about the take him now part? What if God had just heard that part? God was brushing his teeth or something.
Larry Miller
Those are.
Adam Carolla
Not that he needs to, but questions.
Larry Miller
Asked by people should.
Adam Carolla
For example, who aren't married, if you're.
Larry Miller
A guy and you're married. You're never going to ask. Anyway, I'm going out for a Father's Day dinner after this with my wife and kids. My wife said to me, is there a place you'd like to go, or should I just pick something? Now, in a straight, sane world, I could have said something like, we're just going where you want anyway, so what does it matter, right? You know? But instead I said, you know what, honey? That's a good idea. Why don't you pick it? And she said, I'll surprise you. I said, exactly. You'll surprise me and how nice that'll be for all of us. So after the show, I'll call them up and I'll go home, pick them up, and I'll say, okay, where are we going? But I won't say. I'll think about saying it, but I won't say, well, what a surprise, right?
Adam Carolla
I had a little Father's Day affair. My dad came over. My dad is an interesting cat in that he and my stepmom came over just to have a visit. And then I went to the Hollywood. I have a tradition every year I go to Hollywood park with all of Jimmy's family, and we watch the races and I hang out with Jimmy, Jimmy's mom and dad on Father's Day. But I screwed up and invited my dad to come over. And then he ended up coming over in the morning. We went over in the afternoon to the track. My dad. I forgot about this, about my dad. And I don't know, you guys. Tell me how many other people you know that are sort of wired this way. Beautiful day today. Sun shining, nice little breeze, 80 degrees. We're going to sit out under the umbrella on the patio by the pool. Turned a little jazz music on through the speakers there. And we're going to sit down and have a beer, have an iced tea, a cup of coffee, some cheese, some grapes, what have you. My dad sits down outside, Sunday, sun shining under the umbrella there. And I say, well, dad, what do you want? You want a beer? No. Glass of wine? No. Soda, something? No. Seltzer water? No water. Bottled water? Coffee, Something like that? No, no, no. And he just sits there and, you know, we talk. And there's some cheese and some crackers and some grapes. He does not eat a grape. And we sit there and it's two hours.
Brian Bishop
He has a crush on you.
Adam Carolla
That's the only time you doesn't want to eat. And I said, at a certain point, after an hour, you know, I say, I'm gonna have a second beer. Would you? You sure? Don't you want a beer or a glass of water or something? No. And I just realized that's my dad. That's. I mean, unfortunately, when you live with that guy, you're fucked because when you're nine, you want to go out to the fucking steak joint and he's eating literally for dinner. Lump of cottage cheese with some raisins in it, some tap water. Look, that's his dinner. But I've never met a guy that there's no. Oh, as soon as I'm done with this cigar, I, I'll have a beer or something. My dad can literally just sit there and no.
Brian Bishop
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Adam Carolla
Go.
Brian Bishop
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Adam Carolla
Visit quattrodog.com pass by like there's never I'm either in coffee mode or beer mode. I don't have really an in between on a Sunday if you offer at some point on a Sunday, if I'm not doing anything and we're sitting outside, you either offer me a coffee or beer or I'll dump the beer in the coffee and. But there's no mode that I'm ever in where I'm just zero mode for extended periods of time and that's my dad. It's always that way. It's always been that way. And it's a sort of weird. I'm sort of envious because I find myself just eating when I'm not even hungry. Just picking away the cheese and the cracker or drinking coffee even though it's five in the afternoon. I don't even need any coffee, but just nothing. That's who he is. I don't know. And here's the weird thing. My dad is not sober. He enjoys a beer on occasion. He enjoys wine. It's not that he doesn't like water or beer or coffee or any of it. He enjoys it.
Larry Miller
Just.
Adam Carolla
No, thanks.
Allison Rosen
He's like the world's most efficient man. He doesn't take any extra calories unnecessary. He doesn't say any unnecessary words.
Adam Carolla
No, he doesn't burn any. He doesn't take any. He just like sits there and observes and it's this.
Allison Rosen
He's like a car that's constantly almost on empty and you want to coast in neutral down a hill.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Can't test the gas.
Adam Carolla
He's hypermiling. And it's weird. Now I know what's going on psychologically. My dad started preparing for death about age 12. And death for him will be a lateral move. Like for you, Larry, it's gonna be, oh, you'll think about your favorite steak joint. You'll think about, you know, you love coming home and having a high ball at the end of the day, your team. Oh, you know, your sports center at the end of the. Whatever.
Allison Rosen
Wife and kids.
Adam Carolla
Eventually, eventually. Eventually. Wife and kids. Stuff like that. Yeah, My dad, I realize he's just. Death would be sort of a lateral move for him. Like, there's just no, there's nothing that moves his.
Brian Bishop
0 up and downs in the day.
Adam Carolla
0 ups and 0 downs. Just a lateral flat line of a move. But I just don't know. Do you guys know anyone else who would sit on Father's Day? It's his Father's Day.
Allison Rosen
That's the weird part too.
Brian Bishop
Especially in a social situation where he came over to celebrate us mult generations, family. Like, that's awkward. You need something to do.
Adam Carolla
Well, there's an element of I'm not going to have a beer with my son, which is a weird. It's a little symbolic. But my family doesn't do anything with each other. So it's like me and my son having a beer. The next thing you know, we're going to be adding a deck on and then we're going to be talking about ladies and next thing you know, we're going to have a relationship that's a slippery slope. So he's not a bad guy, not a critical guy. He doesn't make comments like, natalia wearing eyeshadow. A little young for that. Like, there's a. He does not judge at all. He just sits there. Just will sit there, and that'll be.
Brian Bishop
That freaks me out.
Adam Carolla
This is Father's Day Sunday outdoors is what makes it extra weird to me that we're sitting at a patio.
Allison Rosen
It's ostensibly a holiday for him, or he at least came over to celebrate, partially.
Adam Carolla
Right. So that's it.
Brian Bishop
And we're ruling out the idea that he just wasn't hungry or thirsty. Right. Because this is a lifestyle choice for him.
Adam Carolla
The whole thing about having a beer is it's symbolic. It's like, I'm gonna have a cold one with this guy. You know, like when they say, you know, whether it's Obama saying, come to the White House and have a beer guy, professor who was discriminated against on his front lawn by the whatever PD or who would you like to have a beer with? It's sort of. It's not about the beer. It's like. It's a social endeavor in a way. So it's weird that he wouldn't, like. He doesn't want to engage in that. But the thing that's weird is my stepmom. Same thing. Eventually, she broke down and got a water. But, I mean, crackers, cheese, grapes, nothing. Something to nosh on, some strawberries. Would you like some white wine or a beer yourself? Now, about an hour in, she got a glass. Just a glass of water. No ice, just glass. Tap water. It's a weird way. I think he's dulled her down a few notches, but I just think of, like, how much I love a steak and how much I love a beer. Like, what the.
Larry Miller
Well, you know, that's probably why they liked each other, by the way, initially.
Adam Carolla
Hey, you don't like anything. I have a passion for nothing, too.
Larry Miller
My dad. After my mom passed away, my dad started thinking about. Because he was one of those guys of that era, you know, where after you get out of the service and everything is. Everything is stopped and won, then suddenly you get married at 19, right? And. But the point is, he said to me he wanted to go out with some of the women in the neighborhood there. And he said, you know, I was going out with so and so who was a mother of one of my friends from high school. I said, dad, that's great. You know, And I meant it. Dad, that's great. But he said, well, I want to ask you something, because as you know, she's not. She's a little flat chested. And as you know, I like women with big breasts. You know, like Mom.
Adam Carolla
As you know, like Mom.
Larry Miller
As you know, you just missed the punchline. That's all right. It'll come up in another year after I have another brain injury. You know what, though? But that's the way it is. If they make personal gestures like that sometimes it creeped me out a tiny bit, but I was wrong. I mean, because he's. He wanted to talk about your mother's bosoms. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Your dead mother's bosoms.
Larry Miller
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Better.
Larry Miller
So at any rate, you know what I said instead? How about a beer? He said, sure, but you never know. So with your dad, you know him at this point. And he's not going to want anything?
Adam Carolla
No. No. Which is funny because I did the thing with Lynette where they were coming and they usually show up 10 minutes early, so I'm always freaked out. And I did the. Hey, hey, hey, come on, get out some cheese and some doodles and some crackers and chill some beers and stuff. They're coming. I was in people are coming over mode. And then the half a glass of tap water with no ice later, she just looked at me and said, you see why I don't put anything out? They don't eat. They don't want anything. Like, it's never.
Brian Bishop
I always wonder, when you go to. Not a Father's Day thing, but when you go to someone's house and they offer you something to drink, is it rude to say, oh, no, thank you, no, bullet dodged.
Adam Carolla
When you're the person that's doing the offering.
Allison Rosen
It could be said, though, it's kind of rude to not snack on what they've put out. You know what I mean? They obviously cut that thing up or arrange something.
Adam Carolla
And again, there's. There's a. This is the part that sort of drives me nuts when people don't engage in the social behavior. For instance, a couple years back, as I told you guys, I was going over to Jimmy Kimmel's fourth of July party before Mangria was official, and I made myself a big picture of it at home and dumped all the ice and the fruit and all that kind of stuff, and I just brought it with me over to Jimmy's. Kind of a joke. It was kind of fun. And I was passing it around and filling people's cups up and trying myself and handing it to other people, and everyone Was like, hey, this is great stuff. What do you call it? And there's two guys, two kind of Hollywood hipster guys. And I poured it the one guy, and he was like, hey, this is great stuff. And then I poured it the other guy, and he was like, at a certain point, after a couple minutes, he, like, kind of, like, tapped me on the shoulder and he kind of, like, handed the glass back to me. And I said, you want a refill or something? He's like, no, not for me. I don't care for it. And he just sort of handed it to me, and he just sort of walked away. And I thought, that's the point where you go, listen, I got to use the bathroom. This stuff's magical. Magical, Magical. You should really bottle this stuff. And then you go in the bathroom, you dump it down the sink, and you make sure you have a little orange wedge. Throw that in the garbage can and put a little tissue paper over it in case I go and use the bathroom next. And then you come back out of the bathroom and you go, hey, man, if I wasn't driving heavy equipment, by the way, I took an asphalt spreader here. Oh, was it a bitch to park in Manhattan Beach? But anyway, if I wasn't driving heavy equipment, I would. Oh, boy, I would be down. I'm going right to the o' tools, but good stuff. But the part where you tap me on the shoulder and hand it back to me and have to just sort of look me in the eye and go, not for me. Who is that? And again, I have a long list of people I want to kill and make love to simultaneously. I wish I had one ounce of that. I could look someone in the eye and just go, not my cup of tea. Here you go. Guy who invented this thing and is very satisfied with himself at this moment. And by the way, in this party where you're the partner of the guys throwing the party and you're the guy from tv, I'm just gonna hand it back to you and just sort of make it clear that I don't enjoy whatever it. You spent a bunch of time on making it home and then bringing here. I don't know, once you're into your 30s and 40s, who is that fucking guy? Like, in a place where it's so easy to go, hey, cheers. And then sort of set it on the counter, went. And walk away.
Allison Rosen
You're outside, just double to the grass.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, we were sort of in the kitchen and out on the deck and that kind of stuff. But there's Really? I don't have to watch you do a fucking butt funnel of it. Just. You take a half a fake sip, you know, and then just walk around, and I'll go get lost in a second. I'll recognize someone and walk and then just hand it off to your friend or set it down. I'm not gonna fucking dust it for Prince.
Allison Rosen
Like, was there any possibility he was like, I don't like this. Maybe you want it.
Adam Carolla
No, probably not. I think it's the purest answer of them all, which is, I don't like this. Nobody else exists but me.
Brian Bishop
Oh. Like a dog spitting something out.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Why go through this drop out of.
Adam Carolla
His mouth, this charade of pretending I enjoy or caring about your feelings or even burning a calorie to come up with an excuse. It's like, it's me and I don't like it. And this is how incredibly narcissistic and pure I am. It's just, I don't like it. I'm sure other people do. Here you go. That was it. And he's right. Other people do like it. And I'm a big boy and everything. I just wonder, how can you do that?
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
It's the weirdest thing. So the beer for me? I'd say, yeah, give me a beer, sure. And then maybe we just sit there, but I'd still just say, do it out of saying, we are going to collectively partake in this thing. Yeah.
Larry Miller
That's just good manners, by the way. And the only one who can give it a drink back like that is you have to be the head of a giant movie studio. And then everyone says, whoa, sure, whatever you do. But it's just bad manners and the kind of thing that will get you killed in a Viking camp.
Adam Carolla
In a Viking, yeah. You've got to drink Mangria from your helmet or boot. And back then, they were leaky. Ah, yes. I'll tell you what will get you killed in the Viking camp. Not using stamps.com.
Isaac Hanson
Lost a lot of friends.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Life went that way. I missed that guy.
Larry Miller
I've missed those segues.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Thank you, stamps.com. we use them here. You should use them there, whatever your camp may be. You can buy print official US Postage right. From your own computer, and it goes right out your printer. And pow. Save 80% compared to those expensive postage meters. And you get discounts even the post office doesn't offer. We have a special offer, a no risk trial. You get the digital scale. It's a $110 bonus offer. Digital scale, 55 bucks. Free postage only if you enter Adam. So go to stamps.com. do it. Now. Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage. Type in AdamStamps.com promo code Adam. All right, we have hypothetical road trip to. Do we have Baldiwood. I want to float a theory to you guys, and you guys tell me what you think.
Allison Rosen
Allison can't drink water.
Adam Carolla
Choking.
Brian Bishop
Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, tell me what you think about this. By the way, in the choke department, I was shooting a pilot, and we were in Pahrump. Man, Pahrump is. Wow. It's bad times over in Pahrump.
Allison Rosen
It's like it sounds.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I mean, the casinos. I mean, it is just bad, bad times. And I went out to dinner, and the guy, Eric Stromer, who you guys know, he's sitting next to me, and he got himself a bad piece of meat, and it got, like, lodged in his wind tunnel. And we were at a table, like, 13 people, and he was having trouble, and I was looking at him, and he was kind of looking at me, and he was having trouble. And no one ever at a table was drinking and talking and talking and drinking loud. Because of my hyper vigilance. I was noticing what was going on with him, and I was just kind of looking at him, and he was just kind of looking at me, and he was clearly having trouble, and I did nothing, because that's what I'm about. And then he cleared it, and then he said to me, like, sort of, well, thanks. I know I can count on next time. I'm drowning in the deep end. And I said, standing up and, like, grabbing you from, like, standing up and screaming, like, is there a doctor in the house? You know, and then performing the Heimlich would save your life, but there's probably only a 10% chance you're gonna die. Maybe 13%. The point where we're gonna be wildly embarrassed, like, everyone in the restaurant. Yes. I rolled the dice on his behalf. Like, yeah, that's true. I don't want everyone. Everyone in this restaurant's gonna be looking. You want everyone looking at this table? Cause I am three to five seconds away. But I don't want to do it. I want to see you start turning a color. And then I'm going to jump up, but I don't think you want me jumping up and having everybody look at us. And, you know, the fear of embarrassment being stronger than almost any even death or paralysis in its own way. So, anyway, hypothetical road Trip. But let me ask you this. People tweet me pictures all day of how this. This once great country of ours is just coming. It's coming undone like a sweater. And it's if. Let's say it's like the dog from that suntan commercial, the dog, the copper tones pulling. It's like the dog, the cop, that little zesty little dog got hold of our sweater, got hold of just one loose string from the sweater. For the last, like, 20 years, it's just been slowly walking away from the sweater, unraveling it this slowly. But I feel like in the last, like, six months, it's sprinting now. Like, the sweater of society is just going fast now. Like, all these things where it's like schools are having, you know, grade schools are having buybacks on toy guns, and kids are getting suspended for fashioning a grilled cheese into a shape of a gun. Like they're biting it. And it just. Some of the most bizarre, just bizarre policies were just coming undone. And one of them is dogs on the plane that I've been screaming about for nine months now. And it's now ubiquitous. And another thing is dress code on the plane. And now what everyone tweets me is pictures of people who are barefoot. So they go on the plane and they kick their shoes off and they're barefoot, and then they sort of perch their feet up, like on the carpeted wall and the bulkhead in front of them. So it's sort of like, I know I'm not setting my Salisbury steak dinner down on that bulkhead, but your feet. Yeah, your feet are up first off, I'm looking at your feet. It used to be a kind of a thing where. And for the guys who are in defeat, this has to be the greatest.
Brian Bishop
Greg Fitzsimmons.
Allison Rosen
Fucking windfall.
Adam Carolla
What a windfall. But I mean, guys putting their feet, you know, where the magazines went, guys putting their feet in the seat next, and they're bare feet. And people were tweeting me pictures all over the place. You know, on a place where an airplane, when it's safety, safety, safety this and safety that. Sir, gonna need you to take that backpack and slide it under the seat in front of you. And it's like if you're in first class and you're up against the bulkhead, you can't just put it three feet in front of you. Up against the bulkhead, sir, you gotta take it and put it up above your head. You can't put, you know, in a world of safety and fire. It's all about exiting fire safety barefoot feels dangerous to me. Like you wouldn't go on a construction site barefoot. You know, if there is, God forbid, a fire or something on the plane, being barefoot doesn't seem like a good shards of glass and metal and debris.
Brian Bishop
Isn't it illegal to drive barefoot?
Adam Carolla
I think it is. So. But barefoot on the plane is no problem. And everyone keeps tweeting me pictures. And then I started thinking about it. What's going on is we're getting barefoot in line to get on the plane. The message is mixed messages. Yeah, like, well, you were barefoot in the terminal. I see people that are barefoot all the time, women that are barefoot, but guys too. First off, it's like, did you not know you're traveling today? Did somebody just tap you on the shoulder while you're like at work and go, hey, you're going to New Mexico. When? Right now, no time for shoes. And you went like, I just wore flip flop, Sorry. Here we go. Like I see people walking barefoot along the cruddiest stretches of carpet you've ever seen at Burbank Airport. Like, I mean, as I've said, you would not walk barefoot through a Costco, would you? Would you, Would you kick your shoes off and just go barefoot through a Costco? No. The airport carpet at Burbank and many of these other areas, much more worn, much more traveled far from the 70s. You can see the black spots where the gum was and then the tape where they tried to repair it and then all the dirt stuck to the tape. So people just willy nilly going barefoot through the. As public a place as you can go. I mean you can argue that a movie theater and Costco and these places are public places, but this place is a funnel where everyone just goes. Humanity's just pushed through. I don't know how many. You know, however crowded the supermarket is, it does not have the kind of traffic that this funnel has. It's merely to push humanity through. So you're gonna go barefoot, step foot.
Allison Rosen
On that stretch of supermarket floor versus.
Adam Carolla
That stretch of in a 24 hour period. Right. So there you go, walking barefoot. Well, now you're on the plane and the message has already kind of been sent. Obviously it's okay to take your shoes off. We just told you to. We forced you to take your shoes off. And that's why I think all the popping of the shoes off. Cuz this didn't exist so much four or five years ago or even that's.
Brian Bishop
Why people are wearing shoes that are easy to get on and off.
Adam Carolla
Even recently. Yes. And now again, it used to be back in the day, there was a guy in the first class and he has to see. Had the tassel loafers and the businessman guy and he had the socks. Now it's the bare feet everywhere. What, what point do we start, like, saying, look, I'm not saying we have to dress like the Monopoly Man. Him saying, there is a certain sort of threshold. Like you barefoot person with the dog on your lap. This is not. We've now crossed into a land where you're walking around barefoot on an airplane and your feet are kicked up barefoot on the bulkhead and your dog's farting up a storm up there in business class. What? What? What is it?
Larry Miller
They're wrong. And there's no line to figure out here. There's no discussion to figure out. Let's compromise on this and give them part of the time. No one should ever be like that. Every so often, there's a female supermodel who has a foot you might.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Larry Miller
Might want to see in a certain situation. But that's every so often, that's one in what, 1,000, 10,000? A million? Never, never do I want to see a guy foot on a bulkhead, right?
Adam Carolla
And what. And in a world filled with regulations, just a lot of. Sir, I'm going to need you for me right now. You know your seats recline two and a half inches. Sir, I'm going to need you to bring that in a full upright position. Sir, your tray needs to be locked. Think stowed. Blah, blah, blah. In a world of I am this person that walks up and down the aisles and shouts rules at every human being on this. Why not just toss this on as one more, one more rule?
Brian Bishop
Additionally, I bet that the person sitting there with her dog on her lap and her shoes off uses Purell.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yes. Here's the rule in public, your feet are not supposed to be higher than your head, and especially not bare. Your bare feet should never get higher than your fucking armpits.
Allison Rosen
Like a rule.
Adam Carolla
These people with bare feet, they're fucking full recline of feet up in the air. It's like, do you think that is there? Let me ask you this. How many bullet trains in Japan, how many millions of miles would you have to travel on a bullet train in Japan before you saw somebody with their bare feet higher than their head? Would it be 10 billion miles? Infinity? How long before some culture, and in a culture that a normal culture that was respectful, it would be a large number.
Allison Rosen
I'm surprised that the rule doesn't exist. It does seem like a good rule that you shouldn't be allowed to wear flip flops or something like that in the exit row. Because at that point, if there is an emergency and you're trying to open that 50 to 80 pound door, the flip flops aren't exactly the best foundation.
Adam Carolla
Just in general. You and your dog and your flip flops are not who you want in front of you when the plane's on fire and you're trying to get the fuck out of there. All right. Just never happen.
Larry Miller
It should never happen. People should not wear sandals for the same reason. And again, every so often, the one in a Gillion model, sure, sure. But every other human being, never.
Adam Carolla
I don't. To me, the sandal feels like about as much work to put on as a regular shoe. I mean, the kind that have the strap on them look horrible on dudes. I don't care how great your calves are, they're a disaster. And you get that they're sort of ironically made for like off roading. But you get that one pebble under there and you're fucking ruined. And then you can't wear them with socks.
Allison Rosen
What's the benefit? A little bit of air on your.
Adam Carolla
Foot through the straps versus the rawhide that's on your bare parts. That is stinkier and shit. I mean, the average sandal stinks more than the average shoe.
Larry Miller
Right?
Adam Carolla
What is up with the sandal? You know what that is? That's a lifestyle.
Brian Bishop
This whole thing is just making me.
Adam Carolla
Me too.
Brian Bishop
Reinforcing how much I hate feet. I think there needs to be an alternative. Like what would be a better alternative at the end of your ankle?
Adam Carolla
I. Oh, than a, than a, than a foot? Yeah, yeah.
Allison Rosen
Well, that'd be the best.
Adam Carolla
The foot's fine. The sandal is me explaining to you what kind of lifestyle I lead. Yes, that's. It's, it's a, it's, it's the, it's the mountain bike rack on top of the VW wagon. You know, it's like, hey, look at me. This is what I'm into. See the racks? There's nothing on them. I never use them. But do you see the racks? Check out the racks on my racks. All right. Go daddy, baby. Speaking of racks. Go daddy. Only 99 cents for new or transferred dot com, by the way. I gotta get, I gotta get with our GoDaddy guy. Somebody bought Road Hard, the movie. Larry's going to be in my movie. And they got it from GoDaddy. So we're going to have to talk. He's a fan. Nice. Going to find this guy.
Allison Rosen
He secured it for you.
Adam Carolla
He secured it for me, no doubt. Yeah. You need a domain name less than a buck for a whole year. And if you want to add some more dot coms, it's just $9.99 for the whole year. Each new domain name comes with a free one page website personalized email, photo album 24, seven customer support or as we like to say, 30 10. Just enter Adam 99. So 99 is the amount of cents you'll be paying for one year. Just enter Adam 99 at checkout or click the GoDaddy banner@adamkroll.com that's Adam, the number nine and the number nine. GoDaddy.com. oh, here's a picture. There's some feet.
Allison Rosen
Lynch actually took that photo on one of his flights.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, lynch sent me that. Now this is a picture of somebody who's in a row alone, backwards, they're hoping alone, have the armrests up and are laying long, laying on their back with their head toward the aisle and their bare feet kicked up. But it's, it's an advertisement for what a douchebag you are. Because everybody in the entire plane, the fucking pilot, if he looks through that peephole in the cockpit will see your feet. These feet are 18 inches above the height of your seat and everyone else's seat. And everybody walking up and down this aisle can take a. Take a nice look at what a beautiful cuticle push you got last weekend. What the fuck?
Larry Miller
Yeah, you know what? Again, for no money could buy doing that. I know, Mike, we like each other a huge amount. But before his kid was born, by the way, I don't think he would have done this.
Adam Carolla
Oh, no, he took the picture. He would never do that.
Allison Rosen
He's not perpetrating the act.
Adam Carolla
He took the picture.
Allison Rosen
He's a witness to history.
Adam Carolla
Because if you think about how would we have gotten the picture, hey, that looks like that guy Mike lynch from the Corolla show.
Brian Bishop
What would he have done? Hey, take a photo of me. I'm gonna put my feet up on the side of the fucking asshole.
Adam Carolla
Hey, man. Yeah. People tweet me pictures all day long. All right, we have.
Allison Rosen
What a miserable existence that must be by the way. People tweet you pictures just to annoy you all day.
Adam Carolla
That's all they do is they go, ace, man, it's the end of the.
Allison Rosen
Oh, you'll hate this.
Adam Carolla
And then they check it out, then they send me a picture of the gum on the ground or the bathroom seat with the initials carved into it or whatever it is. And I just put them aside and I go, but it's true. I mean, it's my job. My wife said to me on the way to Hollywood park, and I said, we never take. I always drive my car. But we took her car this time. And I said, all right, we got your car. She's got Sirius xm. I said, let's put the satellite station on. She said, trying to enjoy ourselves today, Adam. I said, put on the 80 station. She said, everyone's in a good mood. We're going to Hollywood Park. We're going to see Jimmy and his family. We're going to bet on some ponies. We're going to have some beers. Why do you have to listen to 80 Station? I said, I want to listen to 80 Station. She said, no, we're going to listen to some John Hyatt. She had my Graham Parker, John Hyatt, like, Superset mix. We ended up listening to that. And she said, all you're going to do is go to the 80 station, get aggravated because you're going to hear Union of the Snake by Duran Duran, and you're going to get pissed off. Why do you do it? Why do you do it?
Brian Bishop
It's your version of reading online comments, right?
Adam Carolla
You know you're going to get pissed off. Why do you. And I said, it's my job. That's my job.
Allison Rosen
How I feel alive.
Adam Carolla
That's how I know I'm alive. I know I should just put cigarettes out on myself on my inner thigh, but instead I go to the Sirius XM80 station here with a fucking horrible 80 song they're playing. All right. Hypothetical road trip. Larry Miller, you ready? I am.
Larry Miller
I'm so ready and happy to be back. Go ahead.
Adam Carolla
The game where there are no wrong answers. All right. Oh, boy. I've always liked.
Larry Miller
I've always liked Hypothetical Road Trip. So ready now?
Allison Rosen
It's been a while.
Larry Miller
I think you're 14 months.
Allison Rosen
You think you're up to it?
Larry Miller
The night I had. The night I cracked my head open. I was just on your show.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Larry Miller
That's right. And you know what? I am back now for Hypothetical Road Trip. And it will show you and you two and everyone on the other side of the windows how strong I've gotten, how good my head is and how ready I am. Please continue.
Adam Carolla
Now. This is the trip. This is the hypothetical road trip. I. It started many years ago on the radio. Show when you leave Santa Monica Pier and you go to Epcot center in Florida, and you have to drive with this individual. I believe the first guy was ponytail pulled through the back of the hat guy versus way too much turquoise guy. Or one of those. One of these guys who's just fucking into turquoise, by the way. If you just pick a rock that you decide that you're in love with, something's wrong with you, male or female. Look, you're redoing your bathroom and kitchen, and you want a nice granite countertop. I'm not going to hold that against you. But you just figure out that a geode or opal or whatever, you figure out something that becomes your stone.
Brian Bishop
It's my stone.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And you just never stop talking about it and displaying it on belt buckles on the top of the, you know, cowboy hats and things like this. Something's up, right?
Larry Miller
Yeah. And by the way, whenever they say, this used to be a holy stone for Indians, I always want to say, and where are they now?
Adam Carolla
How'd that go? Did that work out? Yeah. Whenever they say, you know, the ancient Egyptians believed. Let's examine the word belief. Because there's guys who believe that, you know, rhino tusk makes your dick wider, but it doesn't make them geniuses, makes them assholes.
Larry Miller
They're the same guys who believe that, you know, if we just follow them into the Red Sea on these chariots, it'll all work out right?
Adam Carolla
All right, so we get started here.
Larry Miller
Go ahead.
Allison Rosen
We have some new listeners. In the last year, we should probably point out that Lair was never really.
Adam Carolla
His batting average was not great.
Allison Rosen
Not great at this game.
Larry Miller
But I knew that one or two of you would bring up that the record has been spotty. But you know what? I refuse to hear that, and I refuse to accept it. I am ready. You know what? Just begin the game, comma, Adam. And you know what? You'll see what I can do.
Adam Carolla
Okay. All right. Drives with seat reclined guy. You know the guy. These are the guys. You have to find these. These guys. Here's where these guys live. These guys live on the 110 between the 101 and the 105 freeway. It's a nice stretch that cuts right through sort of South Central and downtown and Pacoima. Or not Pacoima, Watts and stuff like that. And whenever we drive home from the airport, I play the let's see if we can spot a car that's under $500 game. And we always spot three or four just in that one stretch. But guys who drive in the fully reclined position or guy, and I've been on a flight with this guy recently, carries the yoga mat with him. Literally has a yoga mat caddy. Like a shoulder harness. Yes. Like he's some sort of like the world's gayest archer.
Larry Miller
How sad for you that you've begun with this because it's so obvious. This is, this is an easy one. Easy for me, difficult for you. Number one, I would never drive anywhere, be anywhere, walk anywhere with the person holding the yoga mat. That's just as bad as the people who have the turquoise stones. I would never ever be with that person, let alone on a cross country drive on the yoga mat. I would always be with the guy who wants to drive with the seat tipped back because the chances are, A, he's very fat and B, he also smokes gigantic cigars as he's leaned back in the seat so he'll have an extra cigar. So this is so easy that it's not even worth calling it easy. Again, I would never be with the guy who carries the yoga mat and I would always be with the guy who has a cigar as fat as his neck.
Adam Carolla
That's right. This coma served you well, my friend.
Allison Rosen
That's amazing.
Adam Carolla
You literally knock some sense into yourself. Well, he was riding a streak. People of over 450, 500.
Brian Bishop
I mean, embarrassing.
Adam Carolla
He missed almost every. Every one. Even ones where I said you just guess. I mean, it's literally coin tosses.
Larry Miller
But as it turns out, I was right in saying how good I'd gotten.
Adam Carolla
Wow. All right, let's keep going here.
Larry Miller
You know what? Let's do that. Let's just keep going.
Adam Carolla
Let's keep going. Fat Al Sharpton or Skinny Al Sharpton? Oh, again, Skinny Al Sharpton. I'm looking at pictures of both of them. You can go to AdamCoroll.com these are both horrifically scary.
Larry Miller
Yeah, that's no good. By the way, the skinny one really, really looks like that head was just photoshopped on. Yeah, that doesn't look like a human being.
Adam Carolla
He's a hero. He stands by the Tiwala, what's her name, Tawana Brawley thing that he does stand by, by the way, even though turned out to be a hoax, it's.
Larry Miller
Amazing that some people can look. The fat one looks a lot better. But let me answer this then.
Adam Carolla
Let me ask you this. If you're looking to become a leader in a certain community, is that the look?
Brian Bishop
Which one are you talking about?
Adam Carolla
I'm looked down. The fat One on the right with like the huge medallion and the jogging suits and the camel toe. Like, I just. It's tough to present yourself. Here is my luck. I will look. Here's what I'll look like. I will take a hot iron to my hair. I'll grow some pork chop sideburns. I will then shape. I'll eat some pork chops then after I grow that out. I just can't believe that look. I mean, it's so funny when you go, hey, I would like to lead this community. I would like. Is there less credible look, I guess is what I'm asking.
Larry Miller
And by the way, ironically, the skinny one is about to eat a huge meal, right?
Adam Carolla
He's got tortellini there. Yeah, just the bloated James Brown with a medallion look and a camel toe. And when he stands up and goes, look, I want to talk about some important topics that are plaguing this community. You're like, what? Like your hair look. It's a weird.
Allison Rosen
The yes men behind him should have said no.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Somebody should have said, by the way.
Larry Miller
Either one of those taken by a ship full of aliens, right? They will not attack Earth, right? Nothing bad will happen because the commander will say, wrong planet.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Larry Miller
But there is a legitimate question and a deep question here about which one of these I would like to drive cross country with from Santa Monica Pierce to Epcot center in Florida. And once again, I'm not sorry for you on the second question, but. But I laugh. But to me, it's to laugh at because the obvious answer, comma, Adam, is that I would pick neither. And that's right. Neither. I would not go to cross country in a car with either because they're both. And this is something we haven't run into yet in this game. They're both grotesque. Yeah, they're. They're really. There's no pleasure in driving Nevermind across country 100 yards would be impossible to either of these two. I have discovered the untruth of a question that assumes you'll see only truth in it. Therefore, I say neither.
Adam Carolla
Unbelievable. I thought for sure he wouldn't get that because that was almost a trick question. It was a trick question.
Larry Miller
Jesus.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Larry Miller
You know what?
Adam Carolla
Again, it's.
Larry Miller
It's almost amazing. And to people who know this game well, they're. Well, they're finally happy.
Adam Carolla
Well, there's a lot of money being lost right now. Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Meg is taking a bath right now lot.
Larry Miller
I'll be honest. I've lost some myself.
Adam Carolla
But.
Larry Miller
But how nice to know that the Game that the show that you are finally seeing the depth of my responses. Do you have another one?
Adam Carolla
Yes, I do. Okay. Guy from Storage wars or chick from Extreme Couponing?
Larry Miller
This is a question that matters. This is a question that has.
Adam Carolla
I don't understand why they're not allowed to look into the storage unit. Why can't we look into it?
Allison Rosen
The owner, technically, Maybe at that point.
Adam Carolla
No, I know there. I mean, there's some law, but it would seem.
Larry Miller
Oh, can you imagine?
Adam Carolla
I mean, it's not. It says Monty hall running the storage facility. I mean, just fucking open the door up and then we'll bid on what's in there. There's a motorboat in there. Oh, you'll get a few grand and if there's nothing but a, you know, sack full of moths, you'll get not so much like, what? What's the why? I think. But I know by law they can't do it. But I don't know what's a weird law?
Allison Rosen
Isn't it maybe because if it was worthless, if it let people look in it, then there would be no bids on it to be left. A lot of filled things with crap. Or at least if they bought it for 200 bucks and sight unseen, they're like, now it's your responsibility to clean the shit out.
Adam Carolla
I guess I just. I don't know if there's a. We have to figure it out. Is there a law that says the guy, like when Paris Hilton. Someone bought Paris Hilton's storage unit and found some, like, herpes medication or something in it a few years back, but they didn't even know it was Paris Hilton's until they bet on it.
Brian Bishop
Actually, it's hard to believe, but I haven't seen this show. What criteria do they use when deciding how much to bid? What are they told?
Adam Carolla
That's the whole thing. The guy just have an instinct about what's behind door number three kind of thing. It's a weird.
Allison Rosen
They open the door and everyone just looks at it. No one's allowed to go in. They just kind of.
Adam Carolla
Oh, do they open the door?
Allison Rosen
They crane their neck and if they see a bunch of boxes and there's one guy, it's like a bidding thing. One goes 200 bucks.
Adam Carolla
All right, all right. Wow.
Larry Miller
You know what, though? The insects in those storage bins are weeping to get out. They're just ugly places. But let me get to the truth of the question here, right? If I may, which, which human. Which character would I rather drive cross country with the man who is who has that storage unit or.
Adam Carolla
Or he's gonna buy that storage unit. What?
Larry Miller
Either way, they're both so sick.
Adam Carolla
But.
Larry Miller
But. Or as you say, the. The woman who collects too many coupons. Yes, I have seen the coupon show, and I have seen many of the women on the coupon show, many of the housewives on the coupon show. There are many of them, I would say a half to three quarters, who are very pretty. Who are very pretty in a. In a regular guy way, in like a me or any cameraman way where, you know, you want to say if you're a star or a governor, you shouldn't be with that woman. But if you do a couple of shows in Indianapolis and you go down to the hotel bar afterwards, sure could happen. So you know what? I would always like to see a woman who could be potentially pretty. And I would be happy to talk to her about her coupons because I don't know anything about coupon. I know plenty about coupons, but it would always give us something to talk to. This is an easy topic to open a discussion between a woman who may be very pretty and, well, me. So I would never, ever want a guy who's even been near a storage unit to buy it or to sell it because he's as. He's as grotesque to me as the man who was going to.
Adam Carolla
You went to coupon. Always.
Larry Miller
Always the coupon woman.
Adam Carolla
Okay. Wow, great. For three. Tremendous, great.
Larry Miller
Larry, let me just ask a simple question at this point. Enough said.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Unbelievable. All right, now, what movie did you see there?
Allison Rosen
Baldy saw man of Steel.
Adam Carolla
Oh, a lot of talk about that. I'll tell you what, Let me give a little love to onit.com and then we will. We will do that. Great health and wellness products. And they got the alpha brain. This stuff is good. Larry's been feeding it, Chugging it. Yeah, he's been chugging Alpha brain. I got a great jump rope, by the way, which I use on a nightly, nightly basis. I even Sun. Sun came in yesterday when I was doing it, and I gave a little, you know, whoop dee doo with it. You know, a little crossover and a little zip zam Flam Pam and I turned around and said, what do you think? And he went, all right. Wow, that's a lot for you kids these days.
Brian Bishop
Did you sit Sam and Flam Pam didn't get him.
Adam Carolla
I do things with a jump rope that could be considered impressive, but not to my kids. Ain't no big whoop. I hopped on my unicycle and rode it in the house the other day, by the way, again, to little or no applause. Tell me about that, Grandpa Carolla. I got on my unicycle and I did a lap around the living room and I just, I just. It's a sunken living room, so I dismounted onto the stair. Like, I treat it like, you know, I did a. Did a lap and kids went.
Allison Rosen
It's like living with Willy Wonka unicycles and jump ropes in the house.
Brian Bishop
Did Wynette look at you differently?
Adam Carolla
At least she, I got a little half eyebrow out of her, like. And then she does the thing with the kids, like, hey, nothing, nothing. Huh? That's pretty cool. Daddy's on a unicycle inside the house, doing a circle. First off, you live in a house big enough where you can take a lap on a unicycle and not go through a plate glass window, number one. But number two, daddy's on a unicycle, like, yeah, there you go. All right. Anyway, yeah, back with the great Larry Miller this Week with Larry Miller podcast. And get it on itunes.
Allison Rosen
Also.
Adam Carolla
Episodes every Wednesday. You can go to Larry's website, LarryMillerHumor.com and you can tweet himarryjmiller. Alright, we'll do our man of Steel review in one second. Just a little unfinished business. Last week I was explaining about that fucking animal, Andrew Kanan, the guy who shot Johnny Versace. And people remember that. But then there were other people he killed with a hammer and other people he shot with a.44. And then other people he almost took their head off with gardening tools and things like that. All total, I think five people, all of them. One guy I was having sort of an affair with, but everyone else was just sort of wrong place, wrong time. You know, there's nothing how, you know, the relationship that goes bad and you end up dead. I feel bad for all those people, but much worse for the guys. Like, hey, I just need your $3,000 Ford Explorer. So I'm going to put a bullet in the back of your head. Like, where the person would have gladly just given you the keys and said, good luck to you. But anyway, the guy's an animal. And then eventually shot Versace on the stairs of his sort of manor in Miami. His dad, speaking of Father's Day, is a delight. I always remember he's one of these. I hate the denier. You know, the appropriate answer when your son or child or whatever does anything like this is first thing I must do is apologize to all the victims and all who are connected, the sons, the daughters, the friends, the family, the co workers of this person that my son has killed. And 1000 apologies. I know nothing could ever make it right. But you know, the first round's on me. I mean, that's what I want. You rarely get that. It's a lot of, my son's an angel. And there's a lot of, he may have done these things like killed all your friends and family, but he's still my son. Like, that's not the answer I'm looking for.
Brian Bishop
You don't think that speaks, or do you think that kind of speaks to some parental love or loyalty though, that in the face of all this stuff, you still believe your kid is good? The ironic thing though, is that you created this monster so you don't, probably don't actually love them.
Adam Carolla
Cunanan's dad had a couple of comments about his son after his son killed himself after killing all these people, which went a little something like that.
Brian Bishop
Yeah. So he wanted to make a movie about his son's life. He said, I knew what those guys would do. The FBI would be the heroes and Andrew would be on the run like Dillinger. He thinks that the media, fueled by leaks from the, quote, renegade FBI agents, poisoned Americans minds about his son, portraying Andrew as a maniac and a spree killer. When he, the father, feels that the facts don't add up, he. Despite media accounts from acquaintances, the father denied that his son was gay or that he had a flaring temper.
Adam Carolla
He said he was a male prostitute.
Brian Bishop
But anyway, the American people are being misled. They swallowed everything, hook, line and sinker because it came from the FBI.
Adam Carolla
Right. So this guy's just basically denying that his son had killed four people. Killed four people or five people? Sorry. Yes. Yeah, but. And obviously this is the dad that created the monster that did all the killing. So obviously he's fucking out of it too. I want the parents killed. That's just me. I want a serious fucking apology. I mean, could you imagine if you're just the family member of the caretaker guy who he killed to get his car, and here's the dad, nothing. It's a conspiracy, right? That's how the government works. We take gay guys and we give them 44s and we send them around the country to shoot people, strangers.
Brian Bishop
But what I'm wondering is, not in, not in a case of something like murder, but as a parent, should you err on the side of your kids?
Adam Carolla
The relationship that you have with your kids when you're making your. Your statement is neither here nor fucking there. We understand that's your kid. That's understood. And whether you've. Whether you have excommunicated him from the family or love him more than you ever did, that's not the commentary we need to hear. What we need to hear is you as a parent saying, hey, society, hey, loved ones and survivors. Let me tell you how terribly sorry I am for what happened and the horror and pain and sorrow that my child caused. I don't need to hear about the part where I still love him. After all, he's my son. He'll always love. You know, I don't need any of that. It's superfluous and it's sort of. It's distracting. I don't need your personal feelings about your son. What I need you to do is grab a microphone and apologize to society for what your son did or daughter. Except for they don't really do anything bad.
Allison Rosen
All the facts don't add up, guys. If the facts really didn't all add up, wouldn't other people. Some other people feel the same way as you? Why are they only the. Why are they always the only one who. The facts don't.
Brian Bishop
The American public has been misled. They swallowed it.
Adam Carolla
It's part of being nuts and a sociopath. Anyway, nice job. I hope. Hope you enjoy your Father's Day. Fucking asshole. All right, where were we? Oh, Baldywood. Yeah. Hooray for Bollywood. He will tell you if a movie's good. Brian will review the flicks that he's seen up on the big screen or in his Netflix queue. Before you spend bucks, remember, his taste sucks. He loved that train wreck. Piece of shit Transformers to hooray for bounty war. That's right.
Allison Rosen
Larry hasn't heard this song.
Larry Miller
It's great.
Allison Rosen
Yeah, so I saw man of Steel, directed by Zack Snyder, who did 300 watchmen and sucker Punch. Did you guys see any of Those movies?
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Allison Rosen
300 was a big head. I figured you probably saw it, which I liked very much. Yeah, fun movie. But he directed this one starring Henry Cavill, who's a British guy playing Clark Kent, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon.
Adam Carolla
Always funny when these guys have to get in shape to play Superman. I was yelling at Lynette while we were driving. Do you think big biceps are going to help you lift a continent? Like, well, you could lift. I don't think you're going to lift Asia. You know, that's a little. That's a little bigger. Maybe you could go for something like Australia or something. I'm not sure of one of the smaller continents. North America. You don't need a big biceps for that. But if you're going to lift up Asia, you're going to have to. Or Antarctica, because that's fucking heavy. I mean, that's a ball of ice. It's all ice. Yeah. So work on the delts. It's funny, I know we work that way, but. Oh, guy's got a build. So you can definitely fly to the sun.
Allison Rosen
Superman would definitely not need the big muscles.
Adam Carolla
Superman would have no muscles.
Allison Rosen
He gets his strength from the sun feeding his cells. Because he's from another planet. Not from the muscles is smooth.
Adam Carolla
He would be like a. Built like a junior swimmer who before. Before puberty kicked in. You know what I mean? It really would he. Why would he have a bicep? It wouldn't. Wouldn't serve him well.
Allison Rosen
Grew up on a farm in Kansas. So there is that and there's a lot of that in this movie. This is this sort of like Superman Begins, like Batman Begins. A lot of flashbacks, a lot of Kansas stuff. His dad is Kevin Costner. His mom is Diane Lane. A lot of flashback to how he became who he became, how discovered. And one thing I liked about the movie is so I was always like, if he has X ray vision, is he constantly seeing through things? They actually addressed that here. Like, oh, he has to learn to, you know, control his X ray vision. Otherwise he literally, when he's a little kid, they show him he's seeing through everything. Bones and skeletons and stuff. Michael Shannon's in this. Who's one of those great that guys, you know, character actors.
Adam Carolla
What else? I know, I've seen him.
Allison Rosen
Yeah, you've seen him in a lot of things. He started Take Shelter, which is a great movie. He had a small part in World Trade Center. He's been in many, many movies. Very recognizable. He's great. Russell Crowe's in this overall.
Adam Carolla
Mm.
Allison Rosen
What's this?
Adam Carolla
I don't know.
Allison Rosen
Oh, that's just a picture.
Brian Bishop
I think Michael Shannon's in there.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. All right.
Allison Rosen
I was really looking forward to this movie because I love Zack Snyder. I like his movies. And the Superman thing, it seems like a natural. It's okay. It's just kind of passable. There's a lot going on during the action sequences. It's a little busy, ironically, like the Transformers 2 that was mentioned in the intro song. It's not as bad as that movie, but it's. It's good. It's okay. It's kind of uninspired. And it hits all the boxes. Take sort of cherry picks, the best parts from those first two Christopher Reeve movies. You know, the Kansas stuff, the General Zod stuff. All that picks and chooses and makes a okay movie. This is getting 50. There's Michael Shannon.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Allison Rosen
Picks, I think. Is it 56% on Rotten Tomatoes? So it's what's up.
Adam Carolla
I'm just looking at him. It said, wrote Michael Shelton, that's what.
Allison Rosen
56% of rotten tomatoes, which is rotten. I don't know if it's a bad movie, but it's just okay. It's gonna feed your need for summer blockbusters. But you will not remember this movie.
Adam Carolla
I always feel bad for the last guy who played the. Either Bond guy or the Superman guy. Because they made the Superman. They waited a while and then they came up with the new Superman. I don't know, five, seven years ago, whatever. It was Brandon Ralph, and they got the guy. And then you go, they're making another one and he's going, oh, good. Start getting into shape. Nah, it's going to. And then you have to have that conversation where someone's, you know, his agent has to go, listen, you were awesome. Maybe too good.
Allison Rosen
They were threatened by your success.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You know, they're just. They're going a different direction. By the way, when someone says going a different direction, they mean toward good. Whether you're a relationship, any kind of relationship where someone goes, oh, Larry, we're just going a different direction. We mean towards someone who can act or towards someone who's funny or towards someone who looks good and tights. Like, different direction means just away from you and better. Not you. Yeah, not you. That's what different direction means. So now we got a British fucking Brits playing on the.
Allison Rosen
He did a solid accent, though. Sometimes you can tell there's a trace. He was good. He was Kansas, Ian Kansas. Okay, I don't wanna talk too much about this movie. Cause it's forgettable. I don't think I remember it in a year or two. I wanna talk about a good movie I saw today. This is the End now. You saw this? I loved it. I thought this was the best comedy I'd seen since Ted, which was last year's sort of breakout summer comedy. I laughed my ass off. I thought it was hilarious.
Adam Carolla
Everybody really enjoys the movie, which I saw. And Seth Rogen's in. Came in my problem. And I enjoyed it. I mean, it was fun. It was a good idea. It had a nice. It was nice when there's like, a little mess and that kind of stuff. And without giving too much away, here's my problem. When movies establish what's going on. And again, this is my problem. It's my problem. It's not anyone else's problem.
Allison Rosen
This is the end is the end of the world comedy with Seth Rogen and the whole cast of.
Adam Carolla
So they'll do a thing in the movie where it's like, oh, my God, la's on fire. There's sinkholes opening, everyone's dying. And then somebody goes, we should get really high. And then they get really high. And then they go into this, like, you know, crazy montage where they're, like, goofing on each other and, like, screwing around. And it's funny. Except for you go, oh, are we to believe that LA's on fire? Like, wouldn't your reaction? There's a few. And then they go into this testimonial thing where they're filming, like, a little documentary so that this is what they're gonna leave behind, but they're kind of fucking around in a lot of it. And it's this thing. And again, my problem. I see a movie and they go, here's our premise. And then I go, okay, this is the premise. And then I see him kind of standing next to it and fucking around for a while. And it's funny, but it makes me not buy into the premise.
Allison Rosen
There was a lot of that going on. There was a lot of standing next to the comedy and laughing at it. I thought it was funny, and I guess we agree on that. I really liked it. The audience, by the way, it was packed theater today, rollicking. Love it.
Adam Carolla
It's great stoner comedy. And it's funny. It's just. For me, if you take a movie like, let's say, Albert Brooks, like, Defending youg Life or Lost in America or something like that, and there's other. Or even a movie that's farcical, like Spinal Tap or something like that. There's not one untrue moment in the movie. Like, you take Loss in America with Albert Brooks. It's an out there theme. Or even defending your life. It's a crazy out there theme. He dies, he's going to heaven, Purgatory. But there's not. Or even Spinal Tap, which is just a crazy mockumentary or whatever. There's not one moment in Spinal Tap where you go, they would never do that. That wouldn't happen in this movie. And I seem to appreciate. I don't know why I like those Movies so much because there's not one moment where you go, oh, that's just a joke. But there's no. They're crazy moments, but they just fit right in. Like in Defending youg Life, they go to Past Life Pavilion and they all get to see who they were as they passed whatever. And it's tons of comedy. And it's completely insane that you're going to a pavilion, but in the movie. Made perfect sense. Yeah, it was an attraction. This movie had, like, 10 scenes.
Brian Bishop
Is it because they're playing exaggerated versions of themselves as opposed to characters that you expect they'd act more like human beings.
Adam Carolla
It's more like this. They go, fuck it. We're making a comedy. And I always just think, make a movie that's funny. But when people make a comedy, they go, fuck it. Only thing that counts is if it's funny, it makes the cut. And it's true. You're making people laugh. And you're not curing AIDS or cancer, you're making people laugh. But for some reason, I judge a comedy the same way I judged A Born Identity or something. It's like, if I see you standing next to the premise and fucking around, it's like, what's his name? Danny Fannaducci. No, no, no. From Danny McBride. Sorry.
Allison Rosen
Yeah, Danny McBride.
Adam Carolla
Danny McBride was, like, doing things that movie like, you know, like, it's just that scene where it's. We only have this much food left and someone just shoves it all in their mouth at once or something.
Allison Rosen
Or you go like, yes, it was. If I composite a theory, I think you like that element of comedy for the same reason you like improv. Because the second rule of improv after yes. And is commit. Just. You must be that character. Don't stand outside commenting on your improvisation. Be that character for the next three or four minutes.
Adam Carolla
Yes, plenty of laughs. Like I said, better to be 24 and stone than 49 and sober. When you see it and creative and interesting and all that stuff. It just had to me, and I would still give it a go, see it. Too many moments of, well, is the world ending or isn't the world ending? Because you guys have just decided to party in the middle of it.
Brian Bishop
Did you like Screwball?
Adam Carolla
Stuff?
Brian Bishop
Like, did you like Airplane?
Adam Carolla
I loved Airplane, but Airplane was what it was from the very beginning. Just the very second they started doing the white zone is for loading and the red zone. And then they started their banter back and forth and someone had an abortion or whatever it was. It was great, but it Was that, you know, and then, you know, an hour later, it's, okay, boys, let's grab some pictures. And they all grab the pictures off the wall. That's what it was and what it is straight on through. And I never. I never mind that. I don't mind. I'll watch a documentary or I'll watch Kentucky Fried Movie. It doesn't matter. It's just what it is. Sometimes movies jump outside and stand next to their premise and make jokes about it.
Allison Rosen
I guess you like. It did to me like a very elaborate, very good, very expensive, very funny version of like an online comedy sketch. Like, like a college humor type thing or Funny or Die.
Adam Carolla
I think.
Allison Rosen
I honestly think this is gonna be, like a watershed movie. This is how movies, some comedies are gonna be made in the future, which is the blending of the online and the real and the reality TV and.
Adam Carolla
The people playing themselves.
Allison Rosen
You know, Seth Rogen is interesting.
Adam Carolla
Right? Right.
Allison Rosen
I liked it.
Adam Carolla
I liked it too. I liked it too. Just not to me. Like, I like something like, no matter how insane, I like bore, like something like Borat better because Borat was Borat. Was Borat just straight on.
Allison Rosen
Well, Ted, from like, you accepted the premise from the beginning.
Adam Carolla
This is a talking insane premise. And they just. But they never deviated from it.
Allison Rosen
Yeah. Never commented on how crazy it was. Here I am, a talking bear.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Allison Rosen
Character. But I like that man of Steel. Okay, this one much better go out.
Larry Miller
One quick thought.
Allison Rosen
Yeah.
Larry Miller
On man of Steel. On Superman. I haven't seen it. I'm sure I'll catch it on TV somewhere. I have no great interest in seeing it. I like what you said about it, however, from the second they started making those ads, it's the ugliest Superman uniform you could ever have. It's a used clothing store uniform. It's so limp.
Adam Carolla
It's dark and edgy. Pops. You know what, by the way, Real Superman. This is what a real Superman would look like.
Larry Miller
You know, I assume there's something like that, but it's so wrong. It's against the premise of Superman.
Adam Carolla
They got the same guy who did the Spider man outfit to do it. It just kind of. It's got texture to it.
Allison Rosen
It's all kevlar.
Adam Carolla
It's shark skinny. Now it looks like packing material.
Larry Miller
And I have nothing against that, but.
Adam Carolla
I'm packing or lacking. Because he's looking damn good.
Larry Miller
Yeah, well, you know what? He's a handsome.
Adam Carolla
Now they. What they did is they. They went a shade darker with everything. If you. If you take a look at early Superman versus this Superman or early Spider man versus latest Spider man, everything is dark and edgy. That's the whole thing.
Brian Bishop
I'll send an Instagram filter to a regular photo. That'll make sense for some people.
Adam Carolla
And a nice. Wow. Are we looking at the new and the old? I guess we are. And they've enlarged a package as well.
Brian Bishop
I was gonna say my eyes are going straight to it.
Adam Carolla
I have gone nowhere else.
Brian Bishop
Well, they removed the red underwear.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I guess wearing underwear outside of your outfit is kind of dumb.
Allison Rosen
With a belt. He had a belt in his underwear.
Brian Bishop
He's kind of Wonder Woman.
Adam Carolla
If he replaced a belt with suspenders, how gay would that be? And how quickly would that go south? All right, let's bring it home.
Allison Rosen
Yeah, buddy.
Adam Carolla
Hooray for bounty war. All right. Yeah. Go to meeting. All right, let's get the news ready. We'll go into it right after that. Gotta get that team together. Want to be successful, Go to meeting. You can work face to face. Be effective, get everyone together. And sometimes you can't. It's just impossible. But you do it this way. We use it here all the damn time. Every new client we talk to, we just do it. I do it from my house or do it from here. They're spread out, parts unknown. I feel like they would know where their parts were, you know, like, in parts unknown. The people who live in parts unknown.
Allison Rosen
Hey, we're right here.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, they have a name. They probably think you're in parts unknown anyway. Even if you're in parts unknown. Go to meeting with HD Face. It's brought to you by Citrix. You can share the screen and work on documents in real time. Use that webcam. See, everyone in hd. Got a contest. How about this? If you could have a meeting with anyone, anyone. It could be the coupon clipping woman or the Storage wars guy. Anyone, living or dead, who would it be? Tweet us your answer with the hashtag ace webcam and GoToMeeting. Again, the hashtag ace webcam and gotomeeting. And the winner is going to get a Logitech HD webcam and use it for all their gotomeeting needs. And some swag and some stuff is going to be autographed. And we're going to announce the winner on Wednesday's show. So let's get going with that. Try go to meeting free 30 days. 30 days. Go to meeting.com. click on try free button. Use promo code. Adam. All right, let's do a little news, baby girl. The News with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.
Guest Singer
It's Allison, Allison.
Adam Carolla
And when it's time to wrap it.
Guest Singer
Up, she'll sign it off with zip.
Adam Carolla
It's Allison Allison.
Brian Bishop
Larry Miller's favorite. Kim Kardashian had her baby five weeks early.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Brian Bishop
Natural childbirth. Mm. Twitter was filled with jokes.
Adam Carolla
Mm.
Brian Bishop
But the name hasn't been released yet.
Adam Carolla
Uh huh. Now, do they think they sell the pictures? They gotta sell the pictures, right?
Brian Bishop
I don't think there's any part of their lives that they don't commodify.
Adam Carolla
She doesn't. She doesn't leave money on the table.
Brian Bishop
No.
Allison Rosen
If you had to put odds on the baby being named with a name that start with a K, that'd be prohibitively invisible.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Allison Rosen
Kim and the Kanye and everything.
Adam Carolla
Mm. Mm. Yeah. So the rumors are saying that the baby will be named North. North, wow.
Brian Bishop
So then it could be northwest.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I see.
Brian Bishop
How.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Brian Bishop
No, how airtight are these rumors, Gary?
Adam Carolla
They're rumors.
Brian Bishop
Like your friends.
Adam Carolla
Not very airtight. I read them online.
Brian Bishop
Okay. I would have guessed a K name.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't see these kids going the distance. No Kanye. We're looking at a picture of him looking happy. He normally looks miserable. He looks extremely miserable. Most times I see him now, is.
Brian Bishop
That since being with her or forever? Because I keep seeing articles which are like, look how happy he used to be. And then look how he looks now.
Adam Carolla
He's just got a puss on.
Allison Rosen
He has that face where he just. His normal face looks dour.
Adam Carolla
Here's the whole thing about Kim Kardashian being married to her, you know, starting a family with her. Like, it's like if you said to a young guy, hey, would you like to drive a dune buggy? And they went like, yeah, that sounds awesome. Open engine, big wheels on there and everything. And big antenna flap and everything. Yeah. Groovy paint job. So you'd like to drive this dune buggy? Yeah. Yeah. Seems fun. Yeah. Sounds like a gas. Would you like to drive the dune buggy every day? Yeah, that sounds fun. That sounds cool. Yeah, why not? It's gonna be fun for a weekend or two at Pismo Beach. Why wouldn't it just be cool every day? And then eventually it's raining outside and all you want to do is go the fucking supermarket and get a quart of milk and there's the fucking dune buggy, and you're like, oh, shit, fucking wet. It's loud. I gotta start.
Brian Bishop
Is she the dune buggy or is the whole Kardashian thing the dune buggy?
Adam Carolla
I. She. And the whole thing is like. It sounds like this sounds like fucking cool, but it seems like a dune buggy deal with the devil. I'm just saying, it's like one of those be careful what you ask for things. If I was a young man and so instead drive a dune buggy every day, I'd go, whoa, that's fun. But it'd get really old really fast because it's a fucking hassle. And sometimes you want to definitely do some brodies at Pismo beach and jump over a couple sand dunes and all that kind of stuff, but you want to marry the Taurus, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's a little more sensible. You know what I mean?
Allison Rosen
Great mileage.
Adam Carolla
Not everyone's trying to rip it off, nail it in the tailpipe. I just mean the day in and day out. I mean, like, literally, they gave me an Aston Martin Vanquish, a $277,000 car to drive around for four days. In four days, I was like, doing this thing where it's like, I gotta take my son to the Y in Hollywood. I'm gonna coach his team. I wanna take a Vanquish to the Y and shitty Hollywood with the fucking hobos and, like, sit and then, like, park it and leave it where. And then my son can't fit. I stuff him in the back and there's barely seats. Like, now you just kind of. At a certain point, you just kind of wanna Ford Explorer. Yeah. Like, yeah, I'll turn her into a beater. What I'm saying is I just want something sensible, something without all that beautiful, like, look, I'm glad that my wife is beautiful. I'm glad she's great mom and a great wife and all that. I wouldn't want the high hassle of the Kardashians.
Brian Bishop
What kind of car is she?
Adam Carolla
I think she's the car that she has. She's the Audi A7. Just, like, good lines, good engineering, and, you know, all the speed you need. But not all the glitz and the glamour and the I just seen the Kardashian would be again, it's like the Ferrari or the dune buggies. Like, sounds fun. Sometimes you just want to go to Costco and Burbank and park it and not have people look at you and ask you questions about it. He seems miserable because he just wants to go through life and he can't do it.
Brian Bishop
Now, in a relationship, It's. It can't 100% of the time be about you. It has to go back and forth. And I just have a feeling with the Kardashians, it is 100% of the time about the Kardashians and Kanye West. It's not like he's some wallflower, but.
Adam Carolla
He just looks miserable because every time he leaves the hotel or leaves wherever, there's the paparazzi around. And I'm sure he had it before, but he could put his sunglasses on and put his cap on. He wasn't calling the paparazzi, saying he was going to be at JFK at a certain time. He just seems, like I said, he's driving a dune buggy. And we're on month number seven, and it's starting to get a little tiring.
Brian Bishop
Larry, would you like to drive that dune buggy briefly?
Larry Miller
No. Now, let me just tell you something about me. And as you mentioned, I used to really think Kim Kardashian was gorgeous.
Brian Bishop
Oh, did it? You've changed.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yes, the head trap, remember? Changed. Make some sense in yourself. Yeah, you whack your head.
Larry Miller
But I mean, I used to. It's been.
Adam Carolla
Hold on. It's not a dune buggy. Goofball. Show a picture of a dune buggy. If you're gonna show a picture of.
Larry Miller
A dune buggy, why don't they just show Archie's jalopy?
Adam Carolla
But that's a Sandrail. Or a dune buggy. Like a old school. Anyway, I have nothing to move on. All right.
Larry Miller
Nothing left for Kim Kardashian once she started getting really fat.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Larry Miller
And famous. It's. It's been about two years now.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Larry Miller
Far as the whole family, I. I don't know them. I've never met them. I can salute and say, you know what, Good luck with all this weird stuff you're doing. But as far as the family goes, I'm actually at the point where I'm saying, you know, the mother's a good looking woman.
Adam Carolla
Wow. Moved on.
Brian Bishop
Wow.
Adam Carolla
All right, all right.
Brian Bishop
So something happened last night, right?
Adam Carolla
Type in 70s dune buggy. I think that'll. There you go. There's. There's more. There's a dune buggy. There you go.
Brian Bishop
All right, all right. I have to tell you guys what happened last night and need your opinion. So Daniel, my fiance Daniel and I went to Topanga. I had never been there. There's a whole thing about Topanga. Adam, can you explain it for people who don't know my fiance Daniel?
Adam Carolla
You went to Topanga Canyon?
Brian Bishop
Yes, it's very. It's like the most new agey place where everyone's talking about the energy. And if you get water at a restaurant, they'll tell you how it's been like triple filtered and has no fluoride and no chlorine.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, there's old Topanga, there's new Topanga. My sister lives up in Topanga Canyon. Topanga Canyon is sort of hippie dippy. There's. There's rich folks. Every guy I work construction with. When I first started, my first crew lived in Topanga. It's this weird, you wouldn't know where you were world.
Brian Bishop
You feel like you're in a Portlandia sketch. Although it's so cute, I like it.
Adam Carolla
That's where Elysium, the nudist camp is, by the way.
Brian Bishop
Well, that makes perfect sense.
Adam Carolla
Grandmother wanted me to go to famously when I was 21.
Brian Bishop
So anyway, we were at this restaurant and it's outside and foresty and stuff, but a restaurant. And I. I see a mouse dart across outside. Or we're outside, but it's like a patio. And I see. Yeah, outside patio. I see a mouse dart across. Which does make sense that there would be mice there, but at the same time, I don't love mice, right? So I'm looking at it kind of askance and then this probably like 60 year old woman kind of leans over the railing and she's like, oh, is there a critter? Or she's talking to her people like, do we see a critter? Is there a critter? And I say, yes, there's a critter. She's like, what is it? I say, it's a mouse. And she's like, oh. And then she looks at my face and she goes, we are outside, dear, Please don't. You know, I hope you don't have a problem with it. And shame to me.
Adam Carolla
Is she working there?
Brian Bishop
No, she just happened to be at a table that was up a little higher. And then she told me that she saw a baby possum on her property and she just died. She wanted it, but she loves all God's creatures and so she's like all excited about the mouse and where did it go? And anyway, the point is, I.
Adam Carolla
How did you alert her? Did you make a shriek? Did you ask for help?
Brian Bishop
No, I didn't. She saw. She and her table mates saw it as well and looked over and they said, oh, is it a critter? And I made the mistake of saying, yes, it Is. And I look, I think she could tell that I looked it at a little bit freaked out because once I saw it for the next five to ten minutes I was just kind of on alert for it because I lived in New York, I've had mice in my apartment. They're cute when they're in a something else, but I, you know, am I.
Adam Carolla
I need to be on a wheel or in a tube going up Richard Gere's ass or something?
Brian Bishop
Exactly.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brian Bishop
Well, my thing is always how do I know it's not going to crawl up my pant leg and into my.
Adam Carolla
Butt or other or either way I don't want it in either or you hate me. I understood.
Brian Bishop
But she, I, after the shaming from her all of a sudden got this different expression on my face like oh great, a mouse. Who's excited to see a mouse?
Adam Carolla
Nobody. Not around food and snakes. Yes. The condescending. I know that person you're talking about.
Brian Bishop
She's the person who dwells.
Adam Carolla
They're better than you are. They're more evolved than you are. They see and well, what I love is get into politics with someone like that. They know what's going on in the Middle east, they know what's going on with the WMDs. Like they'll tell you what's going on with the drones. Like I don't know where they're get. They get their intel cuz they're fucking trapped in Topanga. But they explain to you how things really work. Like what's really going on over there in Washington, how stuff really. I do love those people. That somehow we all have the same TV set, the same radio stations, the same TV station. We're all just getting whatever information we're sort of allowed to get via the three or four stations we watch. Where do they get their information and why are they so sure about it and how are they so. Oh, don't kid yourself about it. It's never, it's never like you never ask them how do you know about this? Well, my husband was actually a trainer from Seal Team 6 and then I work for the NSA for a while. It's never that, it's just. Oh, don't be naive. I like that one.
Allison Rosen
The image the rest of the country has of LA being probably very granola and very new age. That's Topanga. That actually is that image. They think Whole Foods is too commercial.
Adam Carolla
Oh yeah, no, they're charging for food. Yeah, yeah, that's a. Yeah, they're making a profit.
Allison Rosen
They're not picking up what's on the ground. They're picking stuff out of trees. That's a big problem.
Adam Carolla
Well, there's more than one whole food, so that's the problem really. They think that they're crispr in their refrigerator is sold out.
Larry Miller
I have so much hate for people like that.
Adam Carolla
I just can't.
Larry Miller
I can't live with it.
Adam Carolla
You know what? You know why I realize we're all tuning into with these people. It's the same sort of. They're all close cousins of the. She's a rescue. I'm gonna rescue that mouse. It's a lot of smug and confident. I am better than you. I understand. This is how it works. You know, it's a lot of. Here's who I am. Meanwhile, they never seem like shit to me. Like you never want to fuck em.
Brian Bishop
Well, no, it's like people who have beauty. So. Sorry, go ahead.
Larry Miller
Yeah, no, no, please, go on. But that's a very basic thing that just woke me up. Yes, I mean that's true.
Adam Carolla
Sorry you.
Larry Miller
That you can't even imagine in a prison situation or something.
Adam Carolla
No. Even if it was on Devil's Island.
Larry Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You couldn't get through all that amber beads and stuff. You take 20 minutes to get those big clamp on earrings off and stuff.
Brian Bishop
It's like long gray hair is not a good look on anyone, man or woman.
Adam Carolla
No, no. Yuck. All right, one more.
Brian Bishop
Okay. Well, in honor. How would I know that?
Adam Carolla
That's my mom. I know. Jesus Christ. She hangs around. Believe me. She hung around with Pat. There was Happy Sunshine, Axis and Pat and Zorbak. Pat had the long gray hair with the ponytail and you know, they used to sit around smoking the herb on the wicker chairs in the backyard, you know, talking about. Oh, believe me, they had a lot of theories on, you know, the government. Here's what they want you to. Here's what they want you to know. Here's what they don't want you to know. And here's what they with the Chicano studies major over at Valley College. It was just great. But it was anything but get to work. It was a lot of talk and not so much where's the rubber? Ever meet in the road here? Ladies, when are we going to put down that joint and get to work? Never any of that. And the thing that always pissed me off is zero appreciation. Meaning there are and have historically been young men and a couple abroads who laid their life down for this country so that you could sit here and smoke your herb in your rattan chair in your backyard and complain about the government. Never any appreciation for. It's at least anything that would be considered anything close to patriotic. Like you're just a sellout. You've drinking the Kool Aid. You know. You know the guys who, you know are all buried up and down at all those cemeteries in Normandy? You know those guys? How about a little. How about you put the joint down for just 10 seconds and tip the. Let's see what they would be wearing. Some sort of garb on their hair. Ceremonial. Ceremonial garbushka for those guys who laid it down. All right, one more, baby girl.
Brian Bishop
There's a town in Spain where if you don't clean up after your dog, they will put it in a box marked lost property and then send it back to you. And the way that they find out who the owner is is they have a registry of the dog's names. And then, like, these sort of undercover assholes perhaps will just engage you in conversation and find out the name of the dog. And then all of a sudden, a box of poop will arrive.
Adam Carolla
Well, somebody tweeted me about getting DNA samples for dogs because we're gonna have to. Now that they're gonna be shitting up airports and other public places. You're. We're now living in a place where you're gonna go see a movie in two months. You're gonna step in dog shit when you're walking down the aisle or when you land over to JFK and you're walking for the Chili's to get a drink, you may step in some dog shit. Like, there's. We're gonna have to start tracing that back to the dog. And somebody, like I said, was. Tweeted me that we're gonna get DNA, you're gonna have to register your dog, and then we're gonna have to get a little sample. And then we're gonna have to figure this. Figure this out.
Brian Bishop
Turn the jobs market around. Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of work.
Adam Carolla
Interesting.
Brian Bishop
So what do you think of this? I just. I. I don't understand people that don't clean up after their dogs. Well, all right, if it's right on.
Adam Carolla
The sidewalk, I will tell you what I do. One second. And for those of you like the ACLU doesn stuff, it's good. It's gonna exonerate a lot of those black labs that are now locked up on death row. A lot of those predominantly black labs on death row. It's gonna. You know, if they're innocent, it's Gonna get them out of there. All right, let's see. Dog owners in one neighborhood have to get their dogs swabbed to keep track of the poop. Yeah, that's. Is this the story? This is the DNA story. I walk Molly up in the hills, the sort of foothills up here in Hollywood, where there are no sidewalks and there's dirt, you know, just sort of off the side of the road. I did see snake eating a giant rat with my son. And so what I'll do is I'll get her off the trail, and when she gets off the trail, she'll do her business. And then I'll always kick some dirt or leaves or something over it. Where it gets a little hairy is every once in a while, she'll just stop and I'll turn around, she'll be dropping one on the side of the street. There's no sidewalk. There's just, like, the edge of the street, but there's a little curb, in which case I will attempt to kick it up over the curb. And you know how they say shit doesn't roll? Does roll downhill. It's hard to kick. It's the world's worst hacky sack, and it ends up getting in the side of your shoe. So then what I do is I try to build some leaves up between me and the shoe, and then I'll give it a boot, do a little punt pass and shit competition, and try to get it up over. So the answer is I'm not a very good human being. And that I don't. I don't bag it and throw it in the garbage. It feels weird just throwing shit away in the garbage. And it just feels like. And that just go into a landfill or whatever, Sewage. Whatever treatment or whatever. I think environmentally and from a calorie standpoint, for me, let's be honest, get her onto the dirt, let her shit up the dirt, and then I just give it a. Give the side. Give the side. It's the move hockey players do when the puck gets behind them. Like, once in a while, they're skating down the ice with the puck in front of them. They got the stick in front, and some of they lose it and it gets behind. They do a little side move where they turn their skate sideways and kick it back out in front of them again. That's that move. Mm. But with shit, you know, but the same move. Just, you know, if the puck was made of shit, right. That's as it would be the same move.
Brian Bishop
Now what do you do if you're closer to Your house or does she only shit in this area?
Adam Carolla
She has her move at least on the walks that I take her on, which is the short walk. And as I've said, the wife wants me to take her on the hour. But doing the dog, seven to one, dog math. My 10 minute walk is an hour and 10 minutes. You gotta look at it down.
Brian Bishop
Tears. You don't wanna.
Adam Carolla
That's right, right. Take her up the hill, she shits in a certain spot. There's a little patch of grass that's in front of a neighbor's house that she also likes. And she'll pull toward me, but I got wise to that and I yank her over toward the dirt. So on the dirt now, I see a lot of people who are doing a lot of hiking and do the shitbag and then drop it on the trail. And then people go, I go, what the fuck? Why bother bagging it? And then, and then they. And then someone said, well, you don't want to bag the shit and just carry it with you on your entire hike. That seems like a bad hike. But then they don't. Some of it's old. Like they don't pick it up.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do. Which is totally gross. But that is, you're supposed to just carry it with you if you're going to bag it until you get it to a trash can.
Adam Carolla
Right. Except for some of this stuff is like, this is just a long trail and then you turn around and come back. So, like you bag the shit and then you tote the shit on your long walk. I think somebody look this up. I think those bags are biodegradable. That's what I think. And I think they're blue bags. I've seen. Only seen the blue ones, and I think they must be biodegradable. And I think the plan is you put this in this blue bag and then you sort of set it off the. The thing. And then the next time it rains, it all just turns into whatever they use to, you know, turns into shit spackle. I don't know. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. All right, so what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic.
Larry Miller
Things I have ever heard.
Brian Bishop
Well, it's true. I love that idea.
Adam Carolla
I dig the idea of. I understand the idea of you not wanting to go for a long trek carrying a sack of shit.
Brian Bishop
You know what there should be. I don't know what shit can turn into, but if it can turn into other things, Chemically, there should be a bag that has that kind of agent in it, and you put it in and then you just leave it there, and all of a sudden.
Adam Carolla
Cupcake waiting for you when you get back. Exactly. So they're biodegradable. Are they blue? Yeah, they're the blue biodegradable bags. I think the deal is you do not have to look at my dog shit by the side of the trail. You can look at this blue bag and know there's shit in it, and then it's biodegradable and it's just gonna go away.
Brian Bishop
Okay, sure.
Adam Carolla
All right. Seems like a calorie burner to me, though. Like, just kick the dog shit off the trail and bury it.
Brian Bishop
All right, that's the news. I'm Alison Rosen. Sip it, cunt.
Larry Miller
Yeah, that's no good.
Adam Carolla
That was the news with Alison Rosen. Ah. Want to save some money on those crap bags?
Brian Bishop
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Mm. Personal capital. Oh, man. Managing the money, it is a pain in the arse. You gotta keep track. The stocks, the bonds, the 401ks, some dude named Ira. I know that Jewish dude is. But either way, how many guys name? I would say the leading guys who take care of and start up and look after IRAs are named IRA. What do you think about that?
Allison Rosen
Credible coincidence, but it's probably right.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, just saying. Just saying. Anyway, bank accounts, cars, you know, all the different sites, all the usernames, passwords, pay someone too much. Some guy named Ira, way too much. Now, personal capital, I don't know. Again, I can't do them justice. I can tell you that if you can go to the website and you look at it, you will be absolutely blown away. You can see how much money you're earning. You can see how much is going out. It's all digital. It's all graphs. It's just amazing. You put the app on your phone or your tablet, it takes under a minute to set up, and you don't have to be a genius to do it. And you can start right away. And it's totally free, so just prepared to be amazed and please tweet me and call me a liar. If this is not the most amazing thing you've seen, go to AdamKroll.com, click on the personal capital banner and go ahead and get started. Free. That's it. Done. All right, let's see Irvine Improv, coming up this Wednesday. Come on out and see us there. I'm going to do a show at the Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver. Tickets on sale today. Sometime today. They're not sure if it's noon or whatever, but you can go to amcroll.com and check that out. We're all going to be at Caroline's doing a bunch of shows through the month of July 18th through the 20th. Those will sell out. So let's get on that because we don't want the true fans kept away. Will turn theater August 3rd. Me and Jay Moore, me and Dr. Drew. First three shows available at AdamCroll.com and on iTunes. Allison Rosen, your new best friend. New episode on itunes and our app as well. This week's guest, Ian Bagg. Don't put any Duke in that bag and leave him by the side of the funny trail boy. Tell you what there. That's yeah. New episodes every Monday and Thursday. And you can go to AllisonRosen.com and this Week with Larry Miller. Get it at LarryMillerpodcast.com or at iTunes. New episodes every Wednesday, LarryMillerhumor.com Great to see you back, brother.
Larry Miller
Well, same here.
Adam Carolla
Tickled, tickled pink that you're back and in good health. God bless you. So until next time, Sam Kroll for Larry Miller, Allison Rosen and bald Brian saying mahalo. Oh, you know what the you don't know about comas.
Podcast Narrator
All right. Does Adam Crawl Show 1101. Coming up next, we have Adam Krolla Show 1106 featuring Hanson, Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop, also from 2012.
Adam Carolla
Check it out. Mandy, get it on. And excited. Hanson coming back to the show and they're playing live for us as they're after do. So excited about that.
Brian Bishop
You love them.
Adam Carolla
I love me some mmm bop. The guy's of course, easy on the eyes as well as well as the ears. But of course sound very good. I mean, last time we had them out here sounded amazing live. And they've been they started playing in the womb together, so why not? You know what I mean? Like, why shouldn't they sound fantastic? They've been playing, I mean, the oldest.
Brian Bishop
One, I don't know, maybe in his like, maybe let's say he's 22, but he's been playing since he was 23.
Adam Carolla
Like Zach when Zach was like 9 when he was doing those videos or whatever. Anyway, good day. Alison Rosen, hello. Adam, Carolla and bald Brian.
Brian Bishop
Adam, I want to lick your eyeball.
Adam Carolla
You know, I have to thank all the people who support this show and who send all these great paintings that I assume they make in prison and things like that. And I don't. We do as much as we can in terms of if you send in.
Allison Rosen
Well, be fair, some people make them in halfway houses.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. A lot of it's just rehab, and some of it is while, you know, it's a voluntary custody kind of a thing, or it could be like a home arrest, house arrest, that kind of stuff. But a lot of people make a lot of really nice stuff that takes a lot of time, and they send it in, and then I don't thank them. So for you people, thank you.
Allison Rosen
You know who you are.
Adam Carolla
You know who you are.
Brian Bishop
Just heartfelt.
Adam Carolla
Wow. Yeah. Give yourselves a round of applause.
Allison Rosen
You know who you are is the worst thank you ever. Because I'm going to get to that point in the book where I have to thank people, and at the end, there's too many people, you know who you are. That's not like saying thank you at all. Don't give yourselves a pat on the back. I'm not gonna do it for you.
Adam Carolla
No. Yes. It's the world's. It's a birthday cake with instead of your name in it, butt cheeks. Yeah. A print of someone's butt cheeks in it instead of your birthday cake.
Brian Bishop
Right. And it's not even your butt cheeks.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Allison Rosen
But the whole idea of thank yous is that so.
Adam Carolla
Wait a minute. Is that a ball divot? Oh, Christ, that was a dude.
Allison Rosen
The whole idea of thanking someone publicly is so that other people know who you are. You know who you are is like, no thank you at all.
Adam Carolla
But still, give yourselves a round of applause, which is not good either. I would say a buddy system where I'll give you a round of applause and you give me your round of applause.
Brian Bishop
Yes.
Adam Carolla
You know what I mean? So, hey, you guys have been great. Thank you for supporting this fantastic charity. Give the person to your right a round of applause and. Oh, yeah, you're giving Brian. Brian's me. I'm doing you.
Brian Bishop
Oh, this is great.
Adam Carolla
This is much better than you clapping for your right.
Brian Bishop
Real clapping.
Adam Carolla
Circle jerk. Right? All right. Yeah. Clapping daisy chain. So Mike and I have no idea how to pronounce his last name because he wrote it like he put letters up his nose and sneezed onto his nose.
Brian Bishop
I want to give it a whirl.
Adam Carolla
You want to give it a whirl? Yeah.
Brian Bishop
Mike Skafskma. That's what I think it is.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Brian Bishop
There are vowels in there, and there are consonants, and they're in clumps.
Adam Carolla
It's S, C, H, A, A, F, S, M, A. I have no fucking idea. Scapsmith could be close either way. Mike has started his own pirate ship and he makes his parts out of metal. And he made me some beautiful stuff. This is a long time ago. It's just. It's been sitting in the corner. Got buried. Not bongs. He makes stuff for, like, flathead Fords. Oh, sorry. He made the Recyclerola cover.
Brian Bishop
I saw those and I thought they were neat and I didn't know what they were.
Adam Carolla
And he made the Recyclerola hatch as well. Very nice. Very nice machine aluminum work. We'll put pictures up so you guys can check this stuff out on our website. Yes.
Allison Rosen
Now that I have a house, I have renewed interest in the Cyclorola. Tell me again how it's possibly safe to drill through the exterior wall of your house.
Adam Carolla
I will do the Recyclerola for you guys. First off, Drew was back here and I was talking to him a few minutes ago, and I said, yeah, look at the Recyclerola stuff. And he said, recyclerola? And I said, yeah, the Recyclerola. And he said, the hell's the recyclerola? And I said, drew, I had to have brought it up 1500 times when we were on the radio together. And he said, I have never heard of the Recyclerola. And I said, I feel like even.
Brian Bishop
Your mom might know what it is.
Adam Carolla
That's a stretch. But, yeah, I mean, I could use that to insult him. Oh, yeah, and even dad. So I said, drew, goddammit, I invented this thing over 10 years ago. And I know, I brought it up. And he said, I have never brought it up. And I said, it's that thing you use for recycling. We throw the bottles through it. And he went, oh, yeah, he brought that up all the time. And I thought, well, it kind of felt satisfying. So the Recyclerolla, which I didn't name, Jimmy named it. I put one in on my house, I put one in at his house. And it's one that you guys should do if you're building new or you're doing a kitchen remod or what have you. I am nutty about recycling just because that's the way I'm wired. It's not even about the environment or about the whales or the turtles or anything. It's just, I recycle because one should recycle. And thus it's done. And that's it. It does not matter to me.
Brian Bishop
So it's not even the effect of it, it's Just a rule.
Adam Carolla
I never even get past who it's helping, who it's hurting. If it's costing me money, if it's saving me money, doesn't matter.
Brian Bishop
You should recy, which is where it's supposed to reach.
Adam Carolla
If it does 1% of what I think it does, or 1/10 of 1%, I recycle. That's it. And I'm sort of a lunatic about it. And I realize that with the amount of diet cola I consume.
Brian Bishop
Well, you're not yourself if you haven't had your pop.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I'm a tab aholic. I don't like when people say aholic over stuff that isn't really bad for you because it makes the true junkies of the world really want to fucking kill themselves. Right? You're chocoholics and tabaholics and peanutsaholics. And I'm not talking about the fruit. I mean, the cartoons. Yeah, so what I did over at Jimmy's house and over at my house. And so what happens? You have wine bottles, you have beer bottles, you have cans. And if it's like you have a busy household like me, stuff adds up pretty quick. And you don't want to make the trip to the recycling bin or bucket or whatever every night or every other night. And so your countertop gets piled up with stuff.
Brian Bishop
It's so heavy.
Adam Carolla
And it's an ugly reminder of your addiction too. It's like, Jesus Christ, how many bottles of red wine did me and my wife would go through in the last six days? It's like a case of, you know.
Allison Rosen
It'S like all the bottles assemble for a mini intervention every morning. Yeah, fuck you guys.
Adam Carolla
Again, you'd be surprised how fast some beers, like on a three day weekend, beer bottles, beer cans and wine bottles, if you have a couple, couple people over something like that, boom. It's a not so subtle reminder that you have a serious problem. And I don't need to see that.
Brian Bishop
I'm suddenly understanding why you created this a little more.
Adam Carolla
Right. So what I realize is all these cans, all these bottles, everything's about the same diameter. It goes up max, about three inches. Wine bottles about three inches, od, as we call it, maybe three and a half inches outer diameter. And a soda can is, you know, 2, 7, 8 or whatever it is. So all you need is a tube, you know, the size of, you know, 4 inch piece of PVC tube, and you can throw 95% of what you're consuming. Somebody when I was talking back there said, what about the Two liter soda bottles. I said not interested in that clientele. Those people can fucking rot in hell. Well, first off, we're clearly talking about renters, the people that are drinking the two liters of Mountain Dew.
Allison Rosen
It's an underserved market.
Adam Carolla
Eh, screw those people. The ones drinking the fucking Sunny D.
Brian Bishop
They can graduate to cans.
Isaac Hanson
Then you'll do it?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. When they get up to a nice bottle or a can, then we can talk.
Allison Rosen
So what about someone who's such a drinker, they make an astounding amount of like gin and tonics and they buy the 2 liter tonic bottles or soda bottles.
Adam Carolla
I, you know, those people can contact me separately and I can make custom accommodations for them. But for the most part the 2 liter bottle folk, not interested in them. Then there's 2 gallon and 1 gallon plastic milk jug. Look, this ain't perfect.
Brian Bishop
It's not all things for all people, right?
Adam Carolla
But for the lion's share of the soda cans, beer bottles and wine bottles and such that you go through this and energy drinks and things like that, this will accommodate it. You take a tube. And so here's what you do. You take a piece of PVC pipe, plastic pipe, and could be abs, could be pvc, doesn't matter. It's just plastic, you know, plumbing pipe. And you put it, install it at a slight downward angle so let gravity do the work. And you install it in the wall of your kitchen so that you have to kind of find the right direction. It's not for every single house. But Brian, the way your house is laid out, you have that dog run, that sort of side yard thing there. You would put your recycling bin up against the wall, right? Put it up against the wall there. That's what we did at Jimmy's old place. And then the recyclerola sits above your countertop, about 18 inches above the countertop or somewhere in there. And again, if you have space for it, this is the variety. That's like the grandma's clamp on earring, which is just, it's a big sort of 5 inches wide and 7 inches tall and sort of egg shaped, has a hole in it and has some felt on the bottom. So when you lift it, you throw it down the chute. And then when you let it go, it just sort of falls back in place. Gravity drops it back in place and it keeps it shut so critters can't get in. Now what you can do on the outside is you can put a flap or something too, but you don't really need that because a rat can't come up that little pipe and then push open your recycling. Now this other one is more like a gas cap style that would fit onto the PVC pipe. You have it in your wall. It's a funny conversation piece and it's actually kind of satisfying to throw the bottles down. You, you finish a beer, fire it down the chute, makes a cool sound, sometimes it breaks, sometimes it don't, then you shut it. And thus the recyclerola is in my house and in Jimmy's house. And it should be just built into every house. Because what stands in the way of most people doing the right thing is between 8 and 12 seconds of their fucking time. That's how horrible we are. Like you could take that gum and you could walk it over to that potted shrub over there, you know the side with the bush and you could easily just throw it in there, or you could just toss it while you're walking into the restaurant. I mean if you think about gum and you know that's one of the things I'm on, but there is a suitable place for you to spit your gum out within a 12 foot distance of where you're currently at at almost all times. It's either get up and go walk over to the trash can or like I said, just find a bush, find a piece of dirt, just spit it in dirt.
Brian Bishop
Just be ambitious, find a trash can.
Adam Carolla
Find a trash can or you know, tear off a little piece of paper that's from something inside your car, whatever. We're literally 12 seconds away from doing the right thing for most things and we go, eh, fuck it. Cause it's 12 seconds of my time. And when it comes to recycling, I believe a lot of people just go fuck it. I don't want to deal with the cans and the bottles sitting up on the shelf and the buckets in the back and it's dark outside or it's raining and fuck it, I'll go into the trash can and that's what people do. This would prevent that. And I say the recyclerola should be, should be building, should be building code, should be an all new building.
Allison Rosen
I'm sure that's next on LA's list.
Brian Bishop
Now see, if I had that, I know I would be tempted to throw stuff down it that's not necessarily recyclable. So why don't you also have a trasharola?
Adam Carolla
I put one of my twins in it the other day. Unless you fucking give daddy the stink eye, you're going in the recyclerola.
Brian Bishop
Couldn't you also just make a fancy trash chute too?
Adam Carolla
Trash one gets kind of crusty because he's throwing away like an egg salad sandwich. Your family of raccoons living in your wall, number one. Number two, you could, but your trash can is your trash can. You're pretty good with that. You don't separate trash. Like, you don't go, I have a bunch of trash, but I'm gonna put it on my kitchen counter and wait till tomorrow to take it around back. You just. That goes in the can in real time.
Brian Bishop
I just want every. I want to be able to throw everything out of my house that I then even like my keys, and then I can pick them up on my way out.
Adam Carolla
And then at a certain point we smash cut to you holding a measuring tape up to Daniel shoulders. 18 across. 19 across. OD. I mean, ID. I need the ID. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, what the hell is this guy's name? Ah, yeah, Mike was nice enough. Mike was nice enough to make me these. And now I'm going to have to buy a new house and then install them. But you guys. So the pipe goes through the wall. It's pretty easy. Just put it in a bay. Doesn't matter what's on the outside or what's on the inside of your house. It's kind of straightforward shit, you know, look for. Don't put it right over like an electric socket or something like that because probably going to be some rigid conduit or something going up through there. Probably. But, you know, be smart, but get someone that knows what they're doing to do it. You have to cut a little angle on the inside one because it's down at an angle. So the mouth of it has to have an angle. That's pretty straightforward stuff, but kind of fun. Oh, somebody made a video.
Brian Bishop
Oh, wow, what a fun ride.
Allison Rosen
Is that from the TLC show?
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, the TLC show. We put a recyclerola in the house. Oh, now I gotta take another look at that. I forgot about putting the recycle.
Allison Rosen
What do you seal up at the end? Because it has to be weatherproof.
Adam Carolla
It only needs the. It's down at an angle. It's at an angle and down. So you don't really need. Depending on what the climate is and stuff like that, but you could just put a flap, literally like a rubber flap, like what's hanging off a semi truck behind the wheels, you know, on the outside you put a rubber flap on the inside. You got A seal here. And that's for where you live especially. That's about, that's about all you need. But yeah, so you can go to AdamCroll.com and take a look at the recyclerola. By the way, there's Ray.
Brian Bishop
Ray hat and necklace.
Adam Carolla
Tell how many times you had this conversation and how many times have you had this conversation again and again and again where you say he. Someone stole all our tools from inside the garage. Unfortunately it was all of Ray's tools and not anyone else's tools because everyone else took their tools home for the weekend and Ray got all his tools stolen. So Ray had a theory this was a conspiracy to get his tools stolen. But I said to Ray, everyone else took their tools home. And he said I don't think so because Ozzie left his needle nose pliers here and those were not taken. And I said, what do you think those things are worth? And he said, new or used? He said, like rusty needle nose pliers. Saddest part ever. On the needle nose plier when one of the noses is busted off. It's like seeing a bird with his beak busted. It's so fucking weird seeing that seagull walk around that got the beak fucked up.
Allison Rosen
They're kind of getting the point of needle nose pliers.
Adam Carolla
So I said, I said. He looked at me and he said what are they worth? I said, yeah, if you're gonna sell them to someone on the street, you know. He said nothing. And I said okay, that's why they got left behind. And he said, I think there's a conspiracy here. And I said why? And he said, because only my stuff was stolen and, and Ozzy stuff wasn't touched. And I said, yeah, but is anything that Ozzy has here worth more than $5? Fuck no. It's all junk. I said, okay, you know this comment.
Brian Bishop
He'S impervious to your point, but do.
Adam Carolla
You feel like you've had a lot of these in your life? Yes. What is that?
Brian Bishop
Someone not understanding what you're saying.
Adam Carolla
But they do because we just went over it. They are.
Brian Bishop
You think they're just wedded to their idea?
Adam Carolla
I have this theory and by the way, we have, we have the recyclerola clip. If you want to take a look at how the recyclerola works with the screw length on the handles. Those nimrods don't figure out that it's going through the three quarter drawer front and half inch drawer material, right? I would get longer screws. You can get A hundred longer screws for five bucks. Or you can counter shape times two, times 40. You know what I mean? Yeah. Verdell, what's going on with the kitchen floor? Thanks for that clip. Anyway, there's a clip that Gary's going to see. I suspect Gary's head injury is affecting his behavior.
Brian Bishop
When you said nimrod there, that sounds like a tool.
Adam Carolla
It is. The word rod. Right in there. All right, number two.
Allison Rosen
Nimrod sounds like something that may have been something before people started using it as an insult. A dipstick.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you can dipstick.
Allison Rosen
It's actually a thing.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Or you can be a lug nut or butt plug.
Isaac Hanson
Oh, wait.
Adam Carolla
All right, you tell me when you have it there, Gary. I was in the bathroom and moments ago. Well, first couple things. There's a new breed of spider that is, like, highly caffeinated that is doing this weird. It's very little, but it's doing this spastic web. Not a Charlotte's Web kind of thing. It's a weird 3D matrixy.
Brian Bishop
Like a fractal web.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. It's a triangle. It's got depth. It's as deep as it is wide. You know, Weird thing that's put in a corner. Like, it's not just, hey, I'm gonna lay a net across this thing. It's a quantity. Yes. It's volume. And they go fucking berserk. And it's in my house, like, on my desk. I'm looking at this thing. It's like. Goes from the computer to the speaker. It's like. And then it's fucking all over the place. And I go to the bathroom here, and I'm looking in the trash can. The fucking trash can. Now I just every.
Brian Bishop
He spins a scarf, not a web.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Yeah. Like a scarf that's been like. Johnny Depp was disgusted with his manager, and he took his scarf off in a rage and bundled it up and threw it into a chair. That's. That's the shape. It's like it's a web. Hive. All right. This fucking place. Every. Every other day I go, there's fucking spiderwebs all over the front door, like, in the front entryway. Like, somebody get down there and hose it off. And Matt will be like, I did it yesterday. And it's like, I looked into the trash can. Into the trash can in the bathroom with the plastic liner, and there was a spider web and spider in the trash can.
Brian Bishop
A men's bun.
Adam Carolla
Yes. But what's going on? Like, why have the number? Is there something going On. Is there an explanation? Is it me noticing it more, or. Or are spiders just fucking going berserk? And it's everywhere. It's like, look, I have a house. It's clean, it's tidy, it's well kept after. And there's just spider webs everywhere all the time. And as fast as you get rid of them, as fast as they all come back.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, the kind of frighteningly robust, opaque webs that you're talking about. I don't remember seeing those years ago.
Adam Carolla
I don't either. And they have this sort of. They almost feel like dried ice. Like, they kind of have that color, weird color.
Brian Bishop
And there's always a lot. Well, when I see them, there's always already a lot of shit stuck in them.
Adam Carolla
And there's nowhere I go when I walk from my kid's room into my workout room. I step outside and I just hit a spiderweb. And then the next night, I come through it again and I hit a fucking spiderweb again.
Brian Bishop
The worst is when you walk through it and then you're like, there might be a spider on me.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's at least spider jizz on you. You get bukhaki'd by a spider. But what is going on? Why are they all so fucking turbocharged now? And where aren't they? And I don't know if you live by the beach. I feel like if you live by the beach or something better or something. No, no, it's not true. It's not true. Because I rent my Malibu house to somebody, and they're all spiderwebs all up in the rafters, just everywhere, all the time. What's going on?
Allison Rosen
Come to think of it, normally I dismiss your conspiracy theories, but come to think of it, Christie has walked through two or three spiderwebs in the last week, which maybe is the first time since we've been in the house.
Adam Carolla
Why more. Okay. We have less cockroaches, right?
Brian Bishop
There was one in my bathroom the other day, which, really. Remember, I was complaining about mice the very next day.
Adam Carolla
There was a cockroach in your bathroom?
Brian Bishop
Bathroom counter. Yes. And then it. It Then, yeah, it was awful. It was big. And I lived in New York and never had that. And then Daniel and I both freaked out. And then it.
Adam Carolla
You gotta keep her.
Brian Bishop
Crunched into the sink. And then Daniel took his shoe off and threw it at the sink twice.
Adam Carolla
I'm like, that's an insult in some countries.
Allison Rosen
He pulled Daka's hand up to his head, right?
Adam Carolla
But anyway, he got the vapors so.
Brian Bishop
I've kind of been freaking out since. Especially since Gary and the guest on my podcast said, well, if you have one, you have a lot.
Adam Carolla
Everyone says that.
Brian Bishop
Is that true?
Adam Carolla
Usually it's not just, you know, the cane from Kung Fu, just walking the. The badlands alone, you know.
Allison Rosen
In exile.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, in exile.
Brian Bishop
Well, the exterminator came today and asked how big it was, and I showed him and he said, oh, yeah, well, that definitely came in from outside. Yeah, I've sprayed outside. If you see another one, let me know and then we'll spray in your house. But I'm gonna be half moved by then.
Adam Carolla
Yes, well, spiderweb's going fucking insane, and I don't know what to do. And again, they eat the bad bugs. But how many bad bugs are living in the trash can in my bathroom at my shop?
Brian Bishop
I bet they've evolved to eat snot and hair.
Adam Carolla
Well, it got some each. All right, we. We have the Recyclerola. All right, here it is. The circumference of the recycling chute. And to get drunk with later. Now, where is it? I'm gonna put it right here. This recycling chute is something that John, you know, Adam, has in this house. And then I like to have them put into my house. And see, I also have a name for it because you have to name it after yourself or else. No, I got it. What is it, the jacuzzi? No, no, no, that's already taken. No, but I was thinking the Recycle Roller Recyclerola. It's catchy. I mean, no question about it. I hope it catches on, because what it does is you put the bottle. You can't write, it goes right into the recycle recycling bin. Yeah. Slides in there. The Recyclerola is the best thing since bread. That's Jimmy's butler. It's so awesome because, you know, as I get up in years, I start looking for a legacy, I realize show business isn't going to be it. No, the Recyclerola is so fun and so effective that it breaks the heart of it. Go back outside, grab the same bucket of cans, and shoot them right back out again. All right, well, that's my legacy. Recyclerola.
Allison Rosen
It's changing the world.
Adam Carolla
I'll tell you what. I'm about to put through there. Some of the pure coconut extract I've been eating from Onnit. O N N I t dot com. Great health and wellness products. Take the coconut, pure coconut. And I just put a gob and make a little coconut iceberg in my coffee every morning. And I get my pure coconut extract that way and it just hits that hot coffee and swirls around. Anyway, that's next because I'm almost out of it. On it. These guys make really great supplements. They make really good stuff. And then that night, I use the jump rope that on it threw by the shop. Nice ball bearings, nice handle. Great job. And believe me, I know a bad jump rope when I, when I use one. They make really great equipment. They make really great supplements. They just launched their tpc. Total Primate Care. Just a packet you take in the morning, packet you take at night. All the care you need for your brain, your energy, immune system, bones, joints. Rogan likes them. Joints and mood. Those joints will fix your mood. Yup, on it, baby. Great nutrition, great equipment. Special for my listeners. You go to onnit.com Adam and get the TPC now for 10% off. If you're not 100% satisfied, they give you a full refund, no questions asked. So how can you go wrong with that? That's o n n I t.com Adam. All right, again, 10% off TPC. Yeah, go ahead.
Allison Rosen
I had an uncomfortable exchange the other day, which I know how much you guys both love to avoid uncomfortable encounters. I'm wondering what you would do in the situation. All right, so I'm at the gym because, as you guys know, I still have a limp a little bit from when, you know, when I was going through the worst of my cancer and it's gone away for the most part, but it's still a little bit there. Going to the gym, working it out, trying to get all the way better. And I'm leaving the gym. It's the type of gym where, you know, you give them your card or whatever and they give you a key and then you turn it back in at the end and that's how you check out. I go to, I limp, I have a small limp. I limp up to the front desk, I hand it, and the girl at the front desk goes, you got. What's wrong? You got a bad ankle there, a bad knee. And I want to avoid putting anyone in a situation where I have to explain to them that I have cancer, that, you know, I don't want to fuck up someone's day like that. I want to be like my brain.
Adam Carolla
Cancer, radiation, blah, blah, Right, right, right.
Allison Rosen
So I got.
Adam Carolla
That's a good first impulse is right, Keep moving. Yeah, right.
Allison Rosen
I don't be that guy who's constantly like, you know, this is my thing and let's talk about it.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Allison Rosen
So I want to avoid that situation with her. And I say, oh, yeah, a little bit of both, thinking that's. That's the end of it.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Allison Rosen
I don't want to talk about it. Social cue. And she says, well, a car accident. Now she has engaged me in. What happened?
Adam Carolla
Car accident. Wow. Is she attractive?
Allison Rosen
She is marginally attractive, but I figured she wanted to upsell me on some training sessions or something.
Adam Carolla
Oh.
Allison Rosen
Either way, I wanted to avoid situations.
Brian Bishop
You can lay. I understand the impulse, but you can lay the cancer thing on a woman. A dude might not want to hear.
Adam Carolla
That bitch gave me cancer. Huh? But a woman like Michael Douglas. Yeah, I was.
Allison Rosen
I was telling you.
Adam Carolla
Oh, lay it on. Oh, it might make her day.
Brian Bishop
Like, oh, wow, that brave guy.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Oh, good point. I should have said that.
Brian Bishop
Yeah. You deprived her of the chance to tell her friends about this thing that happened at work today.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
So what I did do was.
Adam Carolla
So do you think she had a motive?
Allison Rosen
My only hunch was a number one, maybe she was being friendly and chatty and whatever. And number two, maybe she was trying to upsell me on some training sessions.
Adam Carolla
Because she was behind the counter. So it's kind of her job to ask what's going on. Well, I mean, if you are working at a gym and somebody walks by with a limp and you don't say anything, then you're kind of not doing your job, sort of. Right.
Brian Bishop
Like if he injured himself there.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Or he has an issue.
Brian Bishop
Yeah. She's in charge of your body.
Allison Rosen
Yeah, she's the receptionist. My point is I gave her two outs on.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Allison Rosen
We don't have to talk about this. Like, let's just move on.
Adam Carolla
Little each. Yeah. And then she said, car accident.
Allison Rosen
Car accident. And I didn't know. I kind of panicked. I was like, well, I wish would have been nice.
Adam Carolla
Violently, repeatedly raped.
Allison Rosen
But again, that's another social cue of whatever has wrong with me was worse than a car accident.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but now she's in too. Listen, I'm not defending. That's a big puzzle for her now. A, there's curiosity, but there's B, if she now, is she rude? If she doesn't follow us. Do you know what I'm saying? Because if you said I wish.
Brian Bishop
Right.
Adam Carolla
You know, it's like when somebody does the somebody like somebody. Like there's those times when somebody goes, you know, like, you go, how you doing? And I go, don't ask.
Brian Bishop
Or I've been better.
Adam Carolla
So what do you do with don't ask. Like if you go, oh, good, because I'm having a spectacular day, then you're douche. But you do have to kind of ask. They did say don't ask, but it does mean ask, right?
Brian Bishop
I think so.
Adam Carolla
How come don't ask means ask and I'd like to help means you'll get no fucking help. Ever think about that?
Brian Bishop
That's true.
Adam Carolla
All right, so now we're in a little don't ask territory. So she's fucked up.
Brian Bishop
And how come I'm sorry, but means I'm not sorry at all.
Allison Rosen
And the only thing worse than saying from my perspective, from saying to someone, oh, it's from brain cancer and blah, blah, is I don't want to talk about it. Because then it's really awkward and then it's. You've. Yes, don't ask me about my problems or whatever. You know, then it's. This is socially aquamarine.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I don't want to talk about it as a weird. Unfortunately. Maybe for good or for bad. It's a setting I don't have. I have talk about it too much.
Allison Rosen
I have talk about it way too much.
Adam Carolla
Way, way too much. And then too much. And then give you exactly my opinion. And then I even have a bullshit answer. I can lie if I have to, depending on who I'm dealing with or what the situation is, cops, whatever. I can lie, but I don't have a. I'm not gonna talk about it. Like when you're doing an interview, I don't believe you should. You know, they'll have. It happens all the time where people go, well, let's talk about your ex wife or something. They go, I'm not gonna get into that right now.
Brian Bishop
And it makes the interviewer, when it has happened to me, which is rare, actually, Greg Fitzsimmons did that to me and it made Fitz Dog did it too. Yeah, it was very. It was actually just so. Shane Dawson was on my podcast recently and he brought it up and we talked about it. Cause to him, when he was listening, he thought it was like a super awkward moment, which I felt it was awkward as well. It makes you, as the interviewer, or just the conversationalist, if it's a conversation, feel like you really crossed a line.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brian Bishop
Even if you didn't.
Adam Carolla
No, you shouldn't. If you sit down to do an interview, you shouldn't have the. I don't want to talk about this setting unless it's a legal issue. And it's like you're Constantly your counsel said, like, look, you cannot talk, you can't get into this topic, you know, or something like that. Or it's something that you've addressed 250,000 times and it's six years later and somebody wants to just kick the scab off of something. But anyway, did you tell her?
Allison Rosen
No, I pulled the ripcord. I had an emergency in my back pocket because I had done.
Adam Carolla
Does that mean farted?
Allison Rosen
That's right. That's exactly.
Adam Carolla
You pull the rip cord on your back pocket. You just farted and blew out of the door. Like one of those, like a squid shoots water out and gets off into the reef.
Brian Bishop
Unfortunately, it does kill him when he does it.
Allison Rosen
Hey, what's that now? What actually happened was I had done the rowing machine that day and the battery was low and it said like, battery low, must be replaced, please tell supervisor. So as soon as I was like, oh, I wish. And she would open her mouth to like start another round, I was like, hey, by the way, the battery on the rowing machine needs to be replaced.
Podcast Narrator
I was using it.
Allison Rosen
But she, oh, okay, I'll tell my supervisor. And then totally, you know, gave her an excuse to not pursue the angle. It was awkward. I thought you guys would appreciate that.
Adam Carolla
I just had this thought that we've done more. It's a good thing, I'll bet you. What country leads the world in unnecessary rowing?
Allison Rosen
Rowing.
Adam Carolla
To not get anywhere in a circle, in a line, in a race, as a workout, in a tank. You know, like the Twin brothers.
Brian Bishop
Winklevoss.
Adam Carolla
Winklevoss brothers, you know, True.
Brian Bishop
All crew.
Adam Carolla
Who has done more unnecessary rowing than this country? Cuz there's a lot of countries where, you know, there might be 10% unnecessary rowing, but they're still at 90% necessary rowing.
Brian Bishop
Now what are we calling necessary rowing?
Adam Carolla
Viking ships, things like that. Gotcha. Well then like, necessary rowing would be like any kind of exercise involving the water. Like where you're pushing, you know, know you're going, trying to get up the creek or something. No, that's not necessary either. That's what I'm saying.
Allison Rosen
Paddleboarding isn't.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, it's all unnecessary rowing. I mean, look, if you go to.
Brian Bishop
If your motor goes out though, and you have to row to get somewhere, that's necessary.
Adam Carolla
That would be necessary. It'd be a first world necessary problem. But I would, I would go ahead and deduct that from the millions of hours people sit watching CNN rowing and a carpeted in cool gymnasium.
Allison Rosen
You know what cuts into our unnecessary rowing slave Ships. That was a necessary rowing.
Adam Carolla
No, no, but now, what I'm saying right now, most of those were powered by wind anyway. But I'm saying in 2012, like, if you could just, like, countries you'd like to live in, you know, when they do nations you'd like to live in, you know, they do that thing where they go, like, they take statistics, they look at crime, murder rate, school system, average income, things like that. Degrees, education, you know, unnecessary rowing, one of the metrics. Well, I'll bet you like Tiburon. They do a ton of unnecessary rowing per capita.
Brian Bishop
I think you're right.
Adam Carolla
And I think that trumps just about all the. Man, I don't care. You know, education level, whatever it is that may vary. Hell, I mean, you could have.
Brian Bishop
This is foolproof.
Adam Carolla
Well, yeah, what I'm saying is, is you could have, you know, income, but you could live next to some rapper who's just fucking throwing parties all night and shooting up his bedroom. You know, he could be r. But that's not unnecessary rowing, right?
Allison Rosen
What do you mean you don't want to move there? Have you seen the uri? The Unnecessary Rowing Index? It's off the charts.
Adam Carolla
Forget about the school system. Unnecessary rowing lead the nation. Oh, my God. All right. I'm telling you, we gotta be up there. Probably a couple Nordic places that do that, but I.
Brian Bishop
But theirs might be necessary at that point. There might be herring.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I was definitely going after herring. My feeling is we could row. This nation could row. You know, a. We could probably. There's probably some equation where it's like, we could row 20 Rose bowl stadiums filled with people. If you put one person in one dinghy. We could row them around the world.
Brian Bishop
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Not even. I'm talking around the Horn. Not talking about using the Panama Canal either. None of that chicken shit canal bullshit.
Allison Rosen
We're on the Cape of Good Hope.
Adam Carolla
That's right. That's where we're going, around the Horn. I just think we do that much unnecessary rowing.
Brian Bishop
I think you're right. Let's harness it.
Adam Carolla
And how much. Unnecessary donkey riding. Dragging horses, walking in a circle like my kids go on horses. They didn't go. They don't go anywhere. Let's go to her. We have trains that go in a circle.
Allison Rosen
I think Mexico has us beat on that.
Adam Carolla
No, they. They're going somewhere.
Allison Rosen
Wait. Manned donkeys or unmanned donkeys?
Adam Carolla
Oh, wandering donkey drones.
Allison Rosen
Wandering donkeys. They have us owned.
Adam Carolla
Mmm. Yeah.
Brian Bishop
Well, no, but I think.
Adam Carolla
No, what I'm saying is he's talking.
Brian Bishop
About unnecessary Donkey circles and ponies.
Adam Carolla
What I'm saying is, I like to. All you got to do is bring people to Griffith park from, like, a third world. Here's what we got. We got a train. Where's the train going? This is a circle. But aren't people going to be, like, where they're from? People are on the roof of the train getting scraped off by the bridges. And when they go through the overpass, right? I mean, it's a train that goes in a circle, right? Then there's a whole bunch of horses. You got to feed them, you got to take care of them, you got to water them. You got to do all this stuff. What are they going in a circle? All right, then. What's that thing over there? It's called a fountain. How's that work? It just shoots water. What do you do? Where do you irrigate? What do you irrigate with it? What do you drink? No, no, you don't drink. You don't irrigate. We just shoot it in the air.
Allison Rosen
This is waste water.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Water that no one could possibly drink.
Adam Carolla
What's that metallic stuff at the bottom? How people throw money at it? All right. I want to kill myself. Don't you want to go back to your village and kill yourself at this point?
Brian Bishop
Yes.
Adam Carolla
They have horses that go in a circle. The trainer goes in a circle, and a big thing that shoots water. People throw money at fucking. No problems. Out of problems.
Allison Rosen
The throwing money into the fountain is especially insulting.
Adam Carolla
We're angry at money. We have so much money. You know what? These fucking pants. There's no belt I can make that'll hold my pants up. I have so much fucking money, I gotta throw it at that water.
Brian Bishop
Sometimes we actually put it under trains.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Brian Bishop
Flatten it.
Adam Carolla
Flatten it. We do have some trains that don't go in circles, but those we mainly use to flatten money. We use those to destroy money. All right.
Allison Rosen
Threw away four pennies. And Krista yelled at me.
Adam Carolla
Really? Yeah.
Allison Rosen
What the fuck am I gonna do with pennies?
Adam Carolla
I don't. I have no idea. They should never make it into the house.
Brian Bishop
I would throw those down the recyclerola.
Adam Carolla
Recyclerola next time. All right.
Guest Singer
This back in March. Never stop. You better running high, cuz we're about.
Adam Carolla
To bring the fire that is fired up. That is off of the album Anthem, and that is Hands Hansen, available on Amazon. You know what to do. Go to AdamCo.com, click through the Amazon link and kapow Little wind in the sails of the pirate ship. That is produced, that is written and done all by Hanson. By the band. No. Nobody else. Getting their stinky fingers on it. Good to see you guys. Thanks for coming back. Thanks for having us.
Allison Rosen
I appreciate you honoring us with the pirate ship.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Thank you for enjoying your Mangria. And I should say that MHA is. No, not making that up. That's their brew, and I'm drinking one right now. Pale ale. That's the band's brew. It is awesome. I had one before the show and now one during.
Brian Bishop
Does this mean you're kind of competitors?
Adam Carolla
No. Cohorts.
Isaac Hanson
I think it means, like, we're brothers in arms, like I.
Brian Bishop
Colleagues.
Isaac Hanson
Very few people that are coming that are doing their own alcohol, that are producing it. And of course, it has to actually be good. We were talking about this, that you get that first. Kind of like, oh, I'll try it. If it's not good, then you're screwed. But we're hoping.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, there's that. You know, everything is a sub shop. You walk into the sub shop, you either get a good sandwich or you get a bad sandwich. If you get a good sandwich, you never stop going back and you never stop directing people to it. And if you get a bad sandwich, you'll never go back again.
Isaac Hanson
Yeah, you're so right.
Allison Rosen
That's a great.
Adam Carolla
I mean, everything in life, it's. It's dates. First dates are that way. Everything is just a. Don't take the first date to the sub shop. But what I said.
Brian Bishop
Wait, you mean sometimes the reason you don't go back to the beer is. Isn't because you just liked it too much?
Adam Carolla
Honey, just a six. Five and a half. You gotta have a five and a half without six. Not the one footer. Let's not get used to that.
Isaac Hanson
It's not you, you, it's me.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All I'm saying is whether you're. Whatever your product is, hopefully you can get people to sample it. And then they're either gonna make a face or it's gonna be happy or sad, and then that'll be it. And they will spread the word. Yep. Let's just hope it's an O face. Yeah. And it's. And yes.
Allison Rosen
Here's what you need to do to sell more of each. You need to do it like the Jaeger Bomb. The Irish Car Bomb.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Allison Rosen
You need to do a man hop bomb, where you have to drop the Man Korea inside.
Isaac Hanson
Actually, a manhop bomb is a badass idea. No, I'm trying to think about how it does.
Brian Bishop
Mangria.
Isaac Hanson
Mangria.
Adam Carolla
So we take. We take mhop, we put it in a tumbler. Like, we put it in a beer.
Allison Rosen
Third of the way full.
Adam Carolla
And then we take a shot.
Allison Rosen
Mangria.
Adam Carolla
Mangria. We drop it in there, and it'll probably take the roof off whatever building you're in. And then you chug that down.
Isaac Hanson
Here's the deal. And on a totally serious note, we're actually developing. I mean, this is a pale ale, and we're trying to get off the ground. Beer laws, you know, are crazy. Alcohol laws are crazy.
Adam Carolla
Sure.
Isaac Hanson
But we have. We're developing a ipa. The recipe is unreal, and it's kind of. It has this sort of blue. You know, when you get really hoppy beers, you almost get fruit flavor.
Allison Rosen
You get it like floral kind of.
Isaac Hanson
And honestly, this, with that, with the ipa, would just be.
Allison Rosen
And not to mention.
Isaac Hanson
And it would actually knock through. You're gonna hurt.
Adam Carolla
You're gonna hurt some people. All right, Now I gotta try this. Okay. Okay.
Isaac Hanson
Oh, he's actually.
Adam Carolla
This is going to help Matt. Yeah, tell Matt Fondelier. Look, I got half a beer here. Take half a beer, put it in a nice tumbler, and then just put.
Allison Rosen
A tumbler, a beer glass.
Adam Carolla
Well, I don't know how much depth we need at this point, because I've done half this beer. But put it in something that's appropriate, and then just give it a couple shots of Mangria over the top. Now, here's the thing. I'm like a fucking seagull with booze.
Allison Rosen
It's true.
Adam Carolla
I'm like a drunken seagull. It's true. Like, it doesn't matter. I'll shit on your windshield. I'll fucking eat stuff out of your dumpster. But no, I mean, you can take.
Allison Rosen
Your kids hot dog, you can take.
Adam Carolla
Vodka, mix it with Jagermeister, put it in a butt funnel, and I'm happy. Like, there's no. I won't make a face. I will eat it as I will consume the test.
Allison Rosen
I'm a beer snob.
Isaac Hanson
I want to hear what you actually think, since apparently Adam is like, yeah, this is a ringing endorsement.
Adam Carolla
Right? I need a ring. I would drink. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Isaac Hanson
So this is good.
Adam Carolla
This is really good beer.
Isaac Hanson
Your beer snub.
Adam Carolla
What. What's the review?
Isaac Hanson
You're like, okay, forget about Hanson. I just tried this beer.
Allison Rosen
It's solid pale ale. It's everything you'd expect out of a pale ale. When I first saw.
Adam Carolla
Mmm.
Allison Rosen
Hops. I was like, oh, this is going to be Hoppy ipa. It wasn't anything like that. It was a very solid pale ale. I'm excited to see what the IPA is like, just based on the name.
Isaac Hanson
You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
Hops.
Allison Rosen
What do you expect?
Isaac Hanson
Exactly. I mean, and that's awesome.
Brian Bishop
I mean, essentially quite a head.
Adam Carolla
Oh, it turns a delightful color.
Isaac Hanson
By the way, we cannot endorse this because we haven't actually in it.
Adam Carolla
I've had worse.
Allison Rosen
He smacks his lips. So, you know, he actually tried it.
Adam Carolla
I can tell you this actually, on second hit, it's actually starting to warm up to this. This will be gone by the end of the show without any difficulty whatsoever.
Allison Rosen
It's a grower, not a shower.
Adam Carolla
Mm. Wow.
Isaac Hanson
The thing about Omos is it chewish. We wanted to find something that wasn't too hoppy, you know what I mean? He didn't want to look like, partly. It was like, we don't want to try so hard that people are like, hanson did the beer, and it's so hoppy.
Adam Carolla
It blows up.
Isaac Hanson
You know, just no one can drink.
Adam Carolla
We also wanted to have somewhere to go. A lot of the crap.
Isaac Hanson
You have stuff like Arrogant Bastard and like all the stone stuff, which is. There's some really amazing stuff. And you have. Have like 3 floyds and a lot of these really intense, great beers. But some of them, it is a competition. It's like, I can be more hoppy than you, and it's fun. Like, don't get me wrong, it's fun to try that stuff. I love trying them. But I think it was. We were trying to figure out, how can we. This is sort of a gateway drug, you know, this is. This is like, come into the fold and then, you know, go from there.
Brian Bishop
What age did you guys start drinking?
Isaac Hanson
Can we say this on air? I mean, here's the deal. All you have, of course, a 21.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Who said. Let me give you the answer. I will be dating your daughter. I'll be 24. Your daughter will be 19, and you be the father. Here's how that answer worked. You asked me about what I do for a living.
Allison Rosen
Well, young man, what do you do for a living?
Adam Carolla
Well, right now, currently, this is not what I want to do.
Allison Rosen
Sure. At the moment, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Well, right now. What am I doing now?
Allison Rosen
I didn't ask you. Five year plan. What do you do for money right now?
Adam Carolla
Well, right now, I'm currently enrolled in a community college. But that's what that answer. That's when did you start drinking when.
Isaac Hanson
Exactly?
Allison Rosen
What is that?
Isaac Hanson
What context? I mean, here's the thing. When you start in a band, you can put it on the rider. So, you know, there wasn't really an issue when we were below 21. The truth is we were never. I mean, you know, we're not into just like being stupid rock stars, but we discovered beer. I actually love food. I love cooking. I'm a huge foodie.
Adam Carolla
Like, well.
Isaac Hanson
And I just really discovered great salad. Getting into cooking.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And maybe this is combining my umhaps bomb talking with the Mangria. But first off, I want to talk about the process of how this stuff works. But let me just make this comment. You guys are all separately handsome.
Brian Bishop
It's true.
Allison Rosen
Is that the Mangria talking?
Isaac Hanson
It is.
Brian Bishop
Well, look, you should hope at King's gas inhibited. But I think he believes it.
Adam Carolla
No, I was thinking it. I was thinking it when I was sober. Yeah, now I'm saying it. What I'm saying is.
Brian Bishop
Next he acts on.
Adam Carolla
You guys all look like good looking people who came from different wombs. You're all, you know, there's like brothers that are good looking, but you can tell they're good looking because they look like their dad or they look like their mom and their dad, but they look different. You guys all look different, but good looking in a different way, which is pretty rare for three dudes. Usually there's one stinker or you all just look good, but you look the same.
Brian Bishop
Right.
Allison Rosen
Well, thank you very much. Yeah, I think in particular looks like a young, healthy Stephen Baldwin.
Adam Carolla
Okay, okay.
Isaac Hanson
He does get the Baldwin thing.
Allison Rosen
Okay, so here we are, we're on a road trip to go do. To go ride sand dunes in Oklahoma. There's a place called the Little Sahara.
Isaac Hanson
Was like, by the way, if you ever come up to Oklahoma, you need.
Adam Carolla
To do that, do the dunes. Anyway.
Isaac Hanson
2,000 acres of sand.
Allison Rosen
Anyway, so we stop in like Enid, Oklahoma or somewhere to like get food.
Adam Carolla
Like late at night.
Allison Rosen
The place is about to close.
Adam Carolla
We're like, dude, we just need some food.
Allison Rosen
He's like, we just closed. I don't know, maybe I'll throw some.
Adam Carolla
Things in the fryer.
Allison Rosen
I mean, it's like, you know, classic thing. So anyway, so we get some like, you know, chicken wings or something.
Adam Carolla
And then the guy walks.
Isaac Hanson
Popcorn chicken. It's like, I only gave it to.
Adam Carolla
You because you look like Stephen Baldwin. Because you look like him. He's like, are you an actor? Wow.
Allison Rosen
No, he's like, like, you look like an Actor. Are you like a Baldwin?
Adam Carolla
And I'm like.
Isaac Hanson
You're like, Yes. A Baldwin is wandering through the dunes of Oklahoma right now. I'm looking for popcorn chicken. It's sonic.
Adam Carolla
I think you could convince Daniel Baldwin if he was high enough. Come on, dude. I'm your brother. Yeah, Bros, you all right? Here's some money. All right, here's my ATM card. But hurry back.
Isaac Hanson
Yeah, you've got to convince one of the Baldwins.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I think Dan will be the guy that you could pull this one over. But wait till after the streetlights come on.
Isaac Hanson
Alec wouldn't give money even if it was his brother.
Adam Carolla
No, no, no. You wouldn't want to identify as a Baldwin to Alec. He can throw a punch at you. So you're all separately handsome and uniquely talented, and you're gonna play a couple songs for us. MMMBop is one that I. By the way, can I tell you, I don't know whose bachelor party, but I swear to God, it was a montage out of a 90s film where we're driving to Vegas on a party bus. I do remember Mr. Kimmel was on the bus with me and a bunch of other dudes. We're going to somebody's bachelor party. And Bop played some bop. And this is what they always play during the montage in 1950, and everyone starts singing, and we had this moment. It's the moment. It's what I call the ALF moment. People go, People go. People do this with the TV show alf. They go, you know what show didn't totally suck?
Allison Rosen
What's that?
Adam Carolla
Alf didn't totally suck.
Isaac Hanson
I don't know if I should take.
Adam Carolla
This as some sort of underhanded, like. Then the person you're talking to goes, yeah, I mean, it had its moments, right?
Allison Rosen
Complete disaster, right?
Adam Carolla
And then they go, I kind of liked it. Guy looks over his shoulders, they go, kind of like it, too. I know. It was good. Wasn't.
Allison Rosen
Was pretty funny. I mean, right?
Adam Carolla
I've had that conversation with a lot of straight dudes in their 40s where I'm like, you know what song?
Isaac Hanson
They can finally come out.
Adam Carolla
We all came out of the closet on the bus. Like, we do dig that song, don't we? And everyone is like, yeah, I just didn't want to say in front of the other straight dudes in their 40s.
Isaac Hanson
Yeah, we just started. It's LGBTM. And so the extra.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, I mean, to be fair, a bunch of dudes from the man show in their 40s aren't supposed to Be into the we're not the target demo, but love me.
Isaac Hanson
It's kind of like, you know, one of those songs. It's like Tommy boy, where or it comes on.
Guest Singer
Don't you remember you told me you.
Adam Carolla
Love me Baby cried.
Allison Rosen
I won't change it.
Adam Carolla
You change it.
Allison Rosen
Whatever you want, man.
Adam Carolla
Right. It's fine. That's fine.
Isaac Hanson
I mean, I'm fine if you are.
Adam Carolla
So we got something new, we got something old, and we'll do that. You guys get along famously. Which or you seem to. I mean everyone is. Everyone in the band is friendly as friendly can be. Because when you talk to them, them, when the mics aren't hot, they're. Oh, this is great. That's awesome. This is cool. That's pitching. So obviously you're.
Brian Bishop
It's because they're separately handsome for the.
Adam Carolla
Same competitively handsome like I am. Yes, of course. My sister separately handsome. So you're not really stepping on each other's hands in different ways.
Isaac Hanson
I have a really nice handsome.
Adam Carolla
Let's go with handsome.
Isaac Hanson
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You know what I mean?
Isaac Hanson
I would really go ahead and call.
Adam Carolla
It what you are.
Allison Rosen
Taylor has very thick ribs, wrists, and that's really it.
Isaac Hanson
You know what that says about it.
Adam Carolla
Exciting. So parents obviously did a fantastic job with you guys. But no, all the years of traveling on the road, you know, going, I mean, just, it's. It seems like enough to cause, you know, a Baldwin esque rift with you guys. But no, no such luck with you guys, huh?
Allison Rosen
Well, I will say, I mean, going into this record, we had a little bit. Bit of a, maybe not necessarily Baldwin esque riff, but certainly it was a little bit of a challenge. We found ourselves being a little worn down, a little, you know, thin on the tolerance.
Adam Carolla
Because there's a lot of traveling, right? A lot of touring. I mean, the way money is made these days is on the road, right?
Isaac Hanson
And you, I mean, you know this.
Adam Carolla
You'Re your own brand, so you have.
Isaac Hanson
To be, you know, you put yourself out there.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Isaac Hanson
So I mean, we, we have to be traveling a lot. But I don't think just putting on traveling. I mean, if you want to like try actually seriously answer it. The truth is we're. We're sort of. We've always been fighting for what we're doing. So like the whole subject of why don't you guys like go ape shit on each other? It's kind of like. Well, yeah, because we're not dumbasses, you know, I mean, we're not just like, we're not like, that side of stuff. Like, we just. It's never gotten bad enough that we're willing to throw out the other stuff.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Isaac Hanson
And the other things that we're actually have been fighting to have as our job since we were kids.
Adam Carolla
You know, it's an interesting approach to life, which I think a lot of people have ignored. Meaning how much. You're right. No, no. There's an extreme. There's an extreme version where the cops have their guns drawn and they're yelling, lay down. Lay down on your face. And the guy's waving his arms around and he's walking toward them going, what the fuck did I do wrong? And they're like, lay down. And he's like, what are you, bull. And his arms are flapping around, and that guy's gonna take a bullet.
Allison Rosen
Exactly.
Adam Carolla
And it's like, you can't even stop yourself while a gun is trained on you to stop and get down and comply with the wishes. And I feel like I had it in relationships with people, business and otherwise, where you go, look, here's what's gonna happen if you keep doing this. And they go, fuck you. And it's like, well, there you go. It just happened.
Isaac Hanson
It's a relationship. I mean, it's not cool. It doesn't look good on Us Weekly to say we worked pretty hard at it and we gave each other some space and we told each other, you know, hey, screw you. Not on camera. And then figured it out. That's not exact. It's not a very good headline.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Isaac Hanson
We kept figuring it out.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Isaac Hanson
You know, but. But no, we don't get along all the time. I mean, we probably fight when we think we're just talking other people. I mean, there's like a crew around us, like, wow, this conversation is interesting. We're just. We're talking and everybody else is like.
Adam Carolla
You know, World War three is like, Armenia. Brothers can do that, brothers can do that. It's just really complicated.
Isaac Hanson
Things go flying, you know, whatever, you know, you see, it's exactly a group of Italians, Armenians.
Adam Carolla
You're like, arms flying around.
Isaac Hanson
So we do not get along all the time, but we respect each other.
Adam Carolla
Good.
Isaac Hanson
You know, and that's it.
Adam Carolla
That's the deal. They're all, like I said, separately handsome, so you're not going to bleed into each other's hands.
Allison Rosen
But now we also don't want to bleed in public.
Brian Bishop
But does your hair ever encroach on each other's hair? Because you all have great hair.
Adam Carolla
Very separate.
Brian Bishop
I know.
Adam Carolla
Equal.
Isaac Hanson
It's like different. It's like different chains of government, you know, separate but equal.
Adam Carolla
Should we. Should we do a. Should we do a song?
Isaac Hanson
We won't tell you who's the executive branch.
Adam Carolla
Do a new song, and then, sure.
Isaac Hanson
I will tell you that I am definitely the house.
Adam Carolla
No, I think.
Isaac Hanson
No, dude, you're the.
Adam Carolla
You're the.
Isaac Hanson
It all comes down.
Allison Rosen
I'm gonna give him judicial supreme.
Adam Carolla
It's crazy how young Zach used to be, and now Zach's everyone else's age. What I mean is. Well put.
Brian Bishop
I know what you mean.
Adam Carolla
But it's. It's weird that Taylor and Zach are three years apart and when very. At the very beginning, it was like, oh, he's just a. He's a zygote playing in that band. Still got the ember.
Allison Rosen
Why don't you hand me that manhole?
Adam Carolla
It's called the Adam Corolla show, not the Brian Whatever show. His last name. I don't know what his last name is. Huh? Any of your last names.
Brian Bishop
What it means is that we're all old, right?
Adam Carolla
I think that's what means we're old. Okay. Yeah. All right. Let's play this goddamn handsome song.
Isaac Hanson
Okay, so this is a sort of Motown inspired track. It's the first single from the record.
Adam Carolla
Hope you can hear that.
Guest Singer
She'S about to walk away? So if you're gonna make her wanna stay? Jarla, she's your morning sun? Jada that she's always been the one? You gotta say it from the heart? She would know a fake right from the start? A girl like that deserves the best? Oh, yeah? So you got to show her, show her that you're not like all the rest? It's about time that you put your cards back on the table? It's about time that to show how.
Adam Carolla
You'Re willing and able?
Guest Singer
At about time that I get lucky girl back and get the girl back on your side? You got to get the girl back, get the girl back? Yeah, you got to get the girl back? Jerry was always right. You were in the wrong? You came tonight? Cause when she's got somebody's eye? Oh, it will be too late to apologize before she shuts you out? Oh, yeah? You got to tell her, tell her just tell her that there is no doubt? It's about time that you put your cards back on the table? It's about time that just show how you willing enable at time that you get the girl back? You get the girl back on your side? You got to get the girl back? Get the girl back, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Got to.
Guest Singer
Get the girl back?
Adam Carolla
Come on.
Guest Singer
Get the girl back? You got to get the girl back? Get the girl back? Back on your side? The girl back? Get the girl back? Back on your side? The girl back? Get the girl back? Back on your side? The girl, girl back? Get the girl back? You got to, got to get the girl back? Get the girl back? Back on your side? The girl back? Get together? It's about time for you to get together. Oh, it's about time.
Adam Carolla
Wow. Sounding unbelievable. Fantastic. It's so impressive to see. It's just when you see it in person, it's that much more impressive, is it not? You guys sounded amazing. Anthem is the name of the new album. And get it from Amazon.
Allison Rosen
Young Stephen Baldwin shreds that guitar.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, man. Who knew when he's not spreading the good news, he's picking away on that guitar, man. I didn't know what you were gonna say.
Isaac Hanson
Baldwins are so mad. So multi tab.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you just don't know. They're like an onion. Just keep peeling them, man. They just keep going. All right, we're gonna do a little news. Handsome, you guys. Uniquely handsome, you guys. Jump in crack wise. Do what you like. And then we got a little bop coming up as well. First DraftKings, baby. Ah, NBA. Well, that's done. But we got baseball. Football's right around the corner. I know you're playing this ball, Bryant.
Allison Rosen
The anslayer benefit, other than winning money, is that it's making me a better baseball fan. Like, I only knew 70 baseball players.
Adam Carolla
Maybe you're forced to pay attention.
Allison Rosen
Yeah. Now I know a lot more because I've been drafting a fantasy team every day and makes me a better fan.
Adam Carolla
DraftKings.com you can pick and you can do it every day, and you can compete against other people every day. And like I said, football, I don't know if they have. They have soccer fantasy teams.
Allison Rosen
They had NBA.
Adam Carolla
You got to have them in Europe, right?
Allison Rosen
He said they must have everything.
Adam Carolla
Anyway, true story. One guy just won 100,000 bucks very first time out. That is DraftKings.com Dawson. Enter the promo code Adam and double your deposit. That's dollar for dollar, double what you put in when you enter promo code adam draftkings.com where your love of sports can win you cash today. That's DraftKings.com where do you guys go, by the way, to get the brew, because I know what it's like. It's a little tough sometimes breaking into different markets and all the different cities. And states and municipalities have their different rules around alcohol. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
Allison Rosen
Let's not get into massive discussion about the three tier system.
Adam Carolla
No, but where shall we go if we want to get some MHOPs, which is really delightful stuff?
Isaac Hanson
Well, I mean, first of all, we're going to launch it on tour this fall. So if you're coming to a show, I mean, for the fans that are already coming, they'll get it there. And honestly, we'll make announcements as it's available in each state because every state has its own laws. We're shooting for this fall for it to begin to show up.
Adam Carolla
Can we go online and buy.
Isaac Hanson
You will be able to buy it hopefully in the fall starting of September online. So you can go to mhops.com and the other thing, on a side note to interrupt the news that all the stuff in our home state in Oklahoma, with the tornadoes that have gone on this last month, if you go, if you buy any of that MHOPS merchandise, all the proceeds go to help with the recovery effort there. So if you're like, I want some beer. And then you go, you want to put on a T shirt that says Them Pops on it because you know, you want to, you know, you want to be wearing that, you can also be doing some good with that.
Adam Carolla
This stuff's delightful. So you might as well get the delightful stuff and help out the people that have been ravaged by this tornado that blew through. I didn't know everyone's from Oklahoma. That's where Zach is technically born in Virginia.
Isaac Hanson
I was born in Virginia. We're from Tulsa. We're about an hour and a half away from where a lot of those things happen. But when we were starting off, we played, I mean, we played a couple of schools that were just completely gone. We would go in and do assemblies in those schools. And a lot of teachers are still the same teachers. So, I mean, obviously there's been endless news about it. It's a horrible thing.
Allison Rosen
The brewery that makes the beer got kind of fucked up by the hurricane.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Isaac Hanson
Our brewer Mustang actually lost. I mean, we were actually in there a week earlier brewing another batch, kind of tweaking the recipe a little bit and days after that, you know, sending us messages. Here's. Here it is, here's the brewery. Ceilings off, completely caved in. Thankfully some of the beer that we were working on was, you know, was not damaged. But he's. And thankfully he had good insurance, so he's can, you know, redo it.
Adam Carolla
But I Feel like I could cut a PSA for that. Now listen up. These are tears with hops in them right now. Yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't live in Oklahoma. I'm not sure where it is. But is it in Texas or is that different in Texas? Look, let's not get mired. These map details, look. Schools come and go, houses come and go. Orphanages, aids, hospices, you know, the list goes on and on. They come and they go. But microbreweries, that's. That's something hang your hat on. Recently we had a tornado blow through either Texas or Oklahoma. Not sure where the mustang. That's not where the ranch is, is it? Oh, God. Dear God, please tell me it's not the same place. Dear God, tell me. No. Okay, listen, I've had a little zumha over here with the handsome brothers. Those four dudes are cool. One gay, one they don't talk about. It's not in the band anymore. But anyway, sorry about the tears. The happy tears. But as I said, the orphanages and the schools that come and go, but the micro bruise, that's a lot.
Allison Rosen
Adam, I'm sorry to interrupt you. This is a 15 second PSA.
Adam Carolla
Where are we at? 11 seconds? You want me to stretch?
Isaac Hanson
Like 36.
Allison Rosen
Maybe try it again.
Adam Carolla
All right, listen, I'm emotional mess.
Allison Rosen
Stick to the bullet points.
Adam Carolla
You know how much beer was spilled when that twister blew through town? I'll sue that goddamn twister if I get my hands on it.
Allison Rosen
This is actually a PSA for seatbelt safety.
Adam Carolla
Oh, shit. All right, like, someone get my agent on the blower. Pretty fucked up. Listen, I got a. Gotta yak. Can I use that potted plant or shall I use to the head? Is there a chick in the head right now? Let's take five. Is that five hours? I've never been sure on that part. All right, sorry. Where was it? Thank you. Pretty good, right?
Isaac Hanson
That's gonna encourage people to get involved. You know, they're gonna be there. They're gonna be there with boxes and buckets and water bottles and pet goats, all right? Mustangs, they're gonna be bringing. People are gonna be sending you mustangs just because they felt so hard pressing horse.
Allison Rosen
Ford Mustangs or is it just horses?
Adam Carolla
I'll take the horse. I'll take the bottle. I'll take the car. Five liter, please. All right, Allison Rosen, baby, let's do some news. The news with Allison Rosen.
Guest Singer
She'll read some news from her iPad.
Adam Carolla
Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.
Guest Singer
It's Allison, Allison.
Adam Carolla
And when it's time to wrap it.
Guest Singer
Up, she'll sign it off with zip.
Adam Carolla
It's Allison, Allison.
Brian Bishop
Zach didn't get to hear my great new song.
Isaac Hanson
I'm sorry. You guys need to buy more.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Zach needs cans. Oh, man.
Brian Bishop
No. The moment is gone.
Allison Rosen
I'm the resident, like, weekly Adam Carolla.
Adam Carolla
Listener, so I know.
Brian Bishop
Stephen, you put those cans back on.
Allison Rosen
Steven, you need this more than I do.
Brian Bishop
All right, there's an article here, Adam, which I think I'd like to know what way you're gonna go on it. It is, should airlines do away with reclining seats once and for all? Because now they. That's my reaction.
Adam Carolla
Huh?
Brian Bishop
That is my reaction. Because if into a seat and doesn't.
Isaac Hanson
Recline, they just want people to just be flying more?
Brian Bishop
No, they want. Okay, so you know when you sit in an airplane seat and then the person in front of you puts their seat back and now their seat is in your knees? I guess that happens.
Adam Carolla
Well, the worst is when you sit in the bulkhead in the back of the Southwest flight and your seat doesn't recline. By the way, when you design an airplane, move every seat up a 16th of an inch, and then the one at the back can recline two and a half inches. Like, do not make one that does not recline.
Brian Bishop
I'm with you.
Adam Carolla
The other one is the.
Allison Rosen
Is the exit row that's in between the two over wing exits.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Allison Rosen
That's the other one that doesn't recline.
Adam Carolla
I have had the experience. The only feeling, the closest I've come to rape is the seat reclining in front of me when my seat wouldn't recline.
Brian Bishop
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Because as long as you can do these sort of domino thing, you're fine.
Brian Bishop
You're still parallel.
Adam Carolla
Right. There's the same distance next to nothing. But the. Still the same between you and the seat in front of you.
Brian Bishop
Right, Right.
Isaac Hanson
Isn't the greater issue that the seats are already so freaking close together that they're just like that. That is happening, that you're sitting there and the seat is reclining in front of your face, like, you create some space.
Adam Carolla
We're all just going to be dentists. Like, we're going to be leaning over the person cleaning their teeth.
Isaac Hanson
You know, the liberty to recline your seat while the other person doesn't.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, the freedom.
Adam Carolla
All right, so they're going to say no reclining seats.
Brian Bishop
Well, no, this. The writer of this article is saying, isn't it time that we don't allow reclining seats anymore. And I feel like that's absolutely not the direction to go.
Adam Carolla
No, we're going the wrong direction. And then the other thing is Assholes weekly. Who are the assholes who use your seat like a handle? Oh, yeah, yeah. Like some sort of handicap grab bar. Like grandma's getting out of the shower. As if you can't feel it.
Brian Bishop
Like, sometimes if you have long. They grab your hair.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. They'll like, grab the fucking seat. Like, oh, I gotta get up and hit the head. Like, you do understand you're knocking my seat around. Like, use something else to push off of. Ooh, you know what planes should have. Ooh, hold on. This may be the m hops talking, but how about a nice subway style grab bar up top by the air conditioning thing. You know that little thing you twist? Nothing works. How about that thing everyone pulls themselves? They don't have to grab the seat, they don't have to push off of the thing. You know that thing where you're trying.
Brian Bishop
To get out is Adam dangling from the oxygen mask, pulling himself up by it.
Adam Carolla
But that would be a good grab, you know, for the guy at the end there. All right, look, the problem. We have a fundamental problem, which is the airlines want to make money, so they want to get more people on the plane. We're getting bigger by the second, so the seats are getting closer and smaller. We're getting fatter and wider. And there's going to be an issue. And we're already hitting it. And this now we're bringing dogs on the fucking plane and we're screwed.
Allison Rosen
The dogs are getting fatter.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Allison Rosen
Definitely.
Brian Bishop
All right, now, speaking of travel, there is a website that has ranked the most romantic cities in North America. They have the top 20. I feel like. Let's just do the top 10.
Adam Carolla
All right. In North America.
Brian Bishop
Yes. All right, number 10.
Adam Carolla
Well, let's see. San Francisco's gotta be in there.
Allison Rosen
Like, is it gonna Carmel, Napa or Carmel or not?
Brian Bishop
It's. They're looking. It's bigger.
Allison Rosen
Okay. Big cities. New York's pretty romantic. I mean, certain parts of it.
Adam Carolla
How about Virginia?
Isaac Hanson
If you like, like dirty sidewalks.
Adam Carolla
That's for fuckers. I mean, lovers.
Isaac Hanson
Carbon monoxide poisoning.
Adam Carolla
But whatever.
Brian Bishop
Virginia's not in here.
Adam Carolla
Well, that's fine.
Isaac Hanson
There's got to be Savannah. Savannah chores in there. It's incredibly.
Adam Carolla
You think?
Brian Bishop
Right, okay, so, well, let's just. I'm just gonna say that the most important thing first. Los Angeles is number six.
Adam Carolla
Six. Six. What?
Brian Bishop
I Feel like Los Angeles should not even crack the top 20.
Adam Carolla
No.
Allison Rosen
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
No offense to LA.
Allison Rosen
I mean, LA is awesome in various ways, but not romance.
Adam Carolla
It's a boner killer.
Brian Bishop
It's like salt, Peter.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it really is.
Allison Rosen
There are parts, though, if you, like, you know, Malibu and, like, you know, Santa Monica, the pier and all that stuff.
Adam Carolla
That's not la.
Allison Rosen
I know.
Isaac Hanson
It doesn't even count. It's like, it's its own city.
Allison Rosen
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Isaac Hanson
I like that you're fighting for la, though.
Adam Carolla
No, no.
Isaac Hanson
Like, somebody's gotta stand up for these.
Adam Carolla
Like, N. La's horrible.
Isaac Hanson
What's like, Korea?
Adam Carolla
Oh, man, I love going. Yeah.
Brian Bishop
All right, top five. Toronto is number five.
Adam Carolla
Oh. Oh. Nor in that. North America.
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Someone's got to tell Canada. We don't count them as North America.
Brian Bishop
Thrown by that as well.
Adam Carolla
They would be very disappointed.
Allison Rosen
No, no.
Isaac Hanson
Canadians are the nicest people in the world.
Larry Miller
They just like.
Adam Carolla
Okay. Yeah, sorry, you guys are out of North America. We don't know what to call you. Yeah. Make up your own name. We're done with you. Yeah. All right, well, like, Vancouver's beautiful.
Brian Bishop
Yeah. Vancouver was number 19. All right, this one. This is hard to take. Las Vegas, number four.
Adam Carolla
Oh, wow.
Brian Bishop
What do they call romance?
Adam Carolla
People fucking.
Isaac Hanson
This has got to be, like, the best place to pick up a stripper. Yeah, that's what's on the. That's what it's turning into.
Brian Bishop
That's what it seems like. Miami, number three again, best place to.
Adam Carolla
Pick up a strip.
Isaac Hanson
We were just there. Only got to check, you know, check out the hood first.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Isaac Hanson
Make sure you run a he.
Adam Carolla
She's over there.
Isaac Hanson
Was this on a transgender website?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I don't trust this website.
Brian Bishop
Sure. New York number two, and then San Francisco, number one. Yeah, that's the only one that makes sense.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but not as. I don't.
Isaac Hanson
Not as number one.
Allison Rosen
Yes.
Adam Carolla
I'll go with San Francisco, but I'm not. I'm not abiding by Miami, and I've been to Toronto and, like, Vancouver's a.
Allison Rosen
Lot nicer than euphemistically, say, romantic. Like people that. Cities where people have a lot of sex. Like, so it's romantic.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Like, Las Vegas make more sense.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Right.
Isaac Hanson
Then Las Vegas would definitely be number one.
Adam Carolla
Well, they go there. There's a lot of marriages there, but a lot of.
Isaac Hanson
There's definitely, you know, divorces.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brian Bishop
What did you guys think should be number one?
Isaac Hanson
Oh, God, I'm not sure. Some were much smaller. It's got to be, like, like the most romantic places. It's got to be like Savannah, Georgia, you know, like these little, you know, beautiful Victorian homes and little restaurants on the sidewalk, you know, I mean, like the kind of thing that makes you feel like Paris.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, man.
Isaac Hanson
Where you're not likely to see strippers.
Allison Rosen
Stay on the side.
Adam Carolla
Even though this is kind of.
Allison Rosen
Even though New Orleans has some New.
Isaac Hanson
Orleans, but New Orleans would be more romantic.
Adam Carolla
Well, you see, you see titties. I mean, that's romantic. That means that's love the beads, girlfriend.
Isaac Hanson
I'm thinking New Orleans goes back into their. Their hit list there. It should be in the list based on the other cities. I know that.
Allison Rosen
I know that, to quote Robin Williams, I know that Canada is kind of like a loft department above a really great party. But I will say that Montreal is.
Adam Carolla
Definitely pretty high on the romance list.
Allison Rosen
It's a really long sponge.
Isaac Hanson
It's a very dirty, pseudo French people there. Of course it is.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, exactly.
Brian Bishop
Now, see, do you even care about a romantic setting? Because, like, if I go into a restaurant that's like most romantic restaurant, I totally melt.
Adam Carolla
No. Well, the thing about human beings is if you're attracted to somebody, you can fuck in a refrigerator box that's on top of a landfill.
Isaac Hanson
I think it's important to separate fucking from Roman romance.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Isaac Hanson
Isn't that what you're trying to.
Adam Carolla
What I'm saying, you're trying to travel into somebody.
Isaac Hanson
It's not actually the same thing. That's not the wrong show for the romantic setting conversation.
Adam Carolla
You can be into somebody. You can be into them in a refrigerator box on a landfill.
Brian Bishop
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Or you could be at the nicest upscale restaurant that overlooked the bay kind of thing. And if you're not into the person, you just ain't into it. It's not going to be the ambiance. It's not what's going on around you.
Brian Bishop
I have an appreciation for that ambiance and I'm wondering if.
Adam Carolla
But I've never. I don't. I don't feel like that situation adds or detracts from my attraction to the person or how I feel about them.
Isaac Hanson
What about their attraction to you?
Adam Carolla
Ooh, that's different.
Isaac Hanson
What would make a difference for your. What would help them?
Allison Rosen
Like you?
Adam Carolla
Well, a little Mangria floater on top of some mhops, but definitely grease my.
Isaac Hanson
Tracks a little bit.
Adam Carolla
That's right. Grease those. Those. Those Love skids. Drink a little bit. Celebration love skids. Sounds like something you'd be on a sheet. Oh, man, there's Love Skids all over this thing. We'll flip the mattress, put the new fitted sheets on, Stay in the room.
Isaac Hanson
Promotional campaign for Motel 6.
Adam Carolla
Love Skids.
Allison Rosen
All right, speaking.
Adam Carolla
Maybe a B52 song. I don't know. Love spits. I've got a Cadillac as big as a whale.
Allison Rosen
Love speech.
Brian Bishop
This is sort of like Love Skids. Here's a story. Five ways to protect your sex life from your kids.
Adam Carolla
Oh, listen.
Allison Rosen
Lock the door.
Adam Carolla
Yes, that's on here.
Isaac Hanson
Lock the door locks. Okay, yeah, that seems obvious.
Brian Bishop
Wait, do you guys all. Do any of you. Do all of you have sex?
Isaac Hanson
We don't have sex ever. It was all done in the laboratory. We all have kids and one on the way. He's got five and I've got two.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you have. All right, I've said this a million times. Lock on the door. And lock on the bedroom door at every age for almost everything. Which is. I used to say it on Loveline all the time. If you're a 16 year old girl, put the lock on the door so you don't wake up to stepdad with pants around ankles and holding a beer, standing at the foot of the bed pleasuring himself. You know what I mean? Like, you don't need.
Isaac Hanson
It sounds a little too vivid. Something maybe you've witnessed.
Adam Carolla
You know what, John? I mean, you know, I don't want to leave names out of this. The point is they can be shorts.
Allison Rosen
Around his ankles, they have to be pants.
Adam Carolla
What I'm saying is the bedroom door does not need a lock that will stop a junkie who's throwing a shoulder into it. You need a lock that will let you know when someone is attempting to enter. You know what I mean? If they're gonna wake you up by throwing a shoulder into it, then you'll wake up.
Isaac Hanson
Then you have a firearm for that.
Adam Carolla
Right, Right, That's. Yeah. So lock on the bedroom door, just in general at night, when you go to bed at night, just lock it. That's it. Whether you live alone or you live with kids. And it prevents them from finding you, but it also prevents crazed junkies from finding you. Yeah.
Brian Bishop
At what age, though, should. Because I think that some people don't want their kids to be able to lock the door.
Adam Carolla
No, no. It depends who they're living with and, like, what the situation is. My fucking kids, you know, they're seven. The other day they locked me out of the bathroom by locking both doors. You know that move? Who invented the lock that you get to open the door, push the button in and then pull it shut behind you and it locks. Does that seem like it. Does that make sense? Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, you know how they. There's certain things in life where they've done. Like refrigerators used to have a latch on them. And then people would get locked in a refrigerator and die. So now they just have a magnet on them and you can. But that lock. My kids do it. They lock one door. There's two doors that go into the bathroom, sort of Jack and Jill style. They lock the one and then they go. Fucking lock the other. And then I have to piss all over the door. I could use another bathroom. A little something called pride. But I get locked out of. Of the bathroom that no one else is in.
Brian Bishop
Can you pick the lock?
Adam Carolla
There's a thing where you can. Yeah, you can pick it, but I just. I just slough off. Rather pee on the door.
Brian Bishop
Do they do this for fun or was it an accident?
Adam Carolla
It's unclear what's fun to them and what's. When it's what's being cruel to daddy. On the other side of the door, they're not inside. Literally no one is in the house but me. They lock one door, they go around the other side, they lock that, they pull it shut. That's their move, right? That's. That's their scene. Yeah. All right, so lock. Is that on there?
Brian Bishop
Yeah, lock. Get a babysitter, enforce a back to bed.
Adam Carolla
Hold on.
Isaac Hanson
While you're in your house.
Brian Bishop
It's weird, right?
Isaac Hanson
This sounds like there wasn't any. Claire, I need to come over for half an hour.
Adam Carolla
This is the same website that rated.
Allison Rosen
Most room romantic cities. Yeah.
Isaac Hanson
By the way, 15 minute babysitter drop off. How much do you pay them for a 15 minute drop off?
Brian Bishop
Well, they're saying drop the kids off at grandma's house.
Adam Carolla
All right, but the babysitter part would be very confusing because it'd be like you keep. No, no, honey, you don't get this. You look after the kids. I'm banging the babysitter. Come on upstairs, sweetie. By the way, that is a way.
Brian Bishop
To protect your sex life.
Adam Carolla
Enough with the attitude. You're on the clock. All right? Let's go.
Allison Rosen
Is this costing us this conversation here?
Adam Carolla
It's costing me money right now. Right now. That'd be a great thing. That'd be an interesting cell. No, I told you I was getting the babysitter for the sex. Right?
Allison Rosen
I'm totally honest with you.
Adam Carolla
I said let's get the babysitter over the house. So I can have sex.
Allison Rosen
I want sex. Let's call the babysitter. I'm not clear about that.
Adam Carolla
What? Yeah. What. Is there any room for confusion there?
Isaac Hanson
I'm sure at a certain point that might sound good to you, right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Isaac Hanson
But I'm really.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, no more.
Brian Bishop
How much does having kids affect a sex life? I feel like it would be a lot because just getting a puppy.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Brian Bishop
Has affected everything.
Isaac Hanson
I don't know that I can talk about that publicly yet.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Isaac Hanson
But still alive.
Allison Rosen
For now.
Adam Carolla
It slows the. Well, how it. First off, the women care. The guys don't really care. Like, the guys are just like.
Isaac Hanson
Well, there's only. There's a point at which you stop caring.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Isaac Hanson
You can't care anymore.
Adam Carolla
You want to care. It's called your refractory period.
Isaac Hanson
You want to, but you. Everything of your. There's only enough blood to run one. One thing at a time.
Adam Carolla
We are what you call the hardwired. To think, you know, guys are like, let's get this. Let's go. You know? And chicks are like, I'm thinking about this, you know? And then, you know, the guys are like, let's do it. And the chicks are like, I can hear the TV downstairs, and I can hear him singing along to Barney. And it's like. And you're like, good.
Isaac Hanson
That means they're still downstairs. Yeah, that means they're still watching Barney.
Adam Carolla
Guys can turn it into an almost mechanical endeavor, whereas women got to be in that place and go to that place and be in that mood. And so, obviously, hearing the kids downstairs is gonna fuck it up for the women because they need to go to that place. Whereas guys, you know, we need a glory hole in eight minutes. Well, not me. You know what I'm saying? Well, no, but I mean, guys are.
Allison Rosen
Guys are metaphorically speaking. Glory hole roll.
Adam Carolla
Oh, where's my. What I'm saying is, I'm not necessarily condoning.
Isaac Hanson
Don't acknowledge that if you ever want to. Around for campaign.
Adam Carolla
No, there's. What I'm saying is, is there are, like, sex dolls for dudes. We can hump a futon that kind of looks like women, but there's no sex doll for a wimp for a woman. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't. You know, we're pretty mechanical. We can. We can do it. You know what I'm saying?
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. They gotta be in that place.
Isaac Hanson
Congratulations.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. They gotta go somewhere. I'm just saying.
Brian Bishop
Yeah, because. And again, I'm just speaking about Having a puppy. If I hear the puppy and I think maybe he needs something, it feels irresponsible to do anything other than go to the puppy.
Isaac Hanson
Let me tell you something. Just get three puppies, and then you'll feel less that way because they just bark at each other. Like, yeah, I'm worried about the first puppy. Second puppy, a little bit less. Third puppy, I don't even care.
Brian Bishop
By the time I have kids, I won't care at all.
Allison Rosen
And it's actually better that you just.
Adam Carolla
You know, get the caring out of the way. And it's also like, if there's a. If there's a, you know, the door's locked and you're. You're mid sex, and there's that, you know, mommy thing to a guy that's like, all right, double time. You know, women are like, wrap it up. Guys are like, let's get it going. You know, so we're just wired that way. It's sad.
Brian Bishop
Yeah. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
But it's true. Just being honest, not speaking for myself, I'm speaking for all men. So many instead of not. Not the handsome brothers.
Isaac Hanson
He's an ambassador.
Adam Carolla
I'm an ambassador.
Brian Bishop
If I heard a knock and a kid's voice saying, mommy, and it was mine, I would never have sex again.
Adam Carolla
All right, you're gonna.
Brian Bishop
I'm gonna need to get over that.
Adam Carolla
Get over that.
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
That could be a problem.
Isaac Hanson
You should tell your perspective father that.
Brian Bishop
He listens. So, yeah, maybe I'll be single.
Allison Rosen
Prospective father of.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Isaac Hanson
Yes.
Brian Bishop
Yeah.
Isaac Hanson
It's complicated.
Adam Carolla
All right, let's do one more. What do we got?
Brian Bishop
There's a school in Illinois that wants to get a Guinness World Record because it has 24 sets of twins in the fifth grade. Isn't that insane? And here's what I was thinking. Don't they usually put twins in different classes?
Adam Carolla
I have twins. And they split them up. Right?
Brian Bishop
Yes.
Adam Carolla
So they should have done that with the Balders.
Brian Bishop
You could have two versions of the same class.
Allison Rosen
There's like a bizarro class going all the way through school.
Brian Bishop
Isn't that great?
Isaac Hanson
It's like a backup class.
Adam Carolla
It's fair.
Isaac Hanson
You said bizarro.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Now I'm guessing it's funny because I thought white kids. I thought, like, rich white kids and fertility campaigns.
Brian Bishop
Right. That's what. Yes. Because all the twins or triplets you meet around here are the product of. Of in vitro.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Allison Rosen
That's a very pasty picture.
Adam Carolla
It is a very. Yeah. You kind of.
Isaac Hanson
You might have hit it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. My first thing Was. This isn't just a school in Chicago that has a bunch of twins. This is a bunch of fertility campaigns going on.
Brian Bishop
Wilmette.
Adam Carolla
We'll have to figure out where. Probably Wilmette. It's a probably upscale neighborhood with only.
Allison Rosen
A well to do area.
Adam Carolla
Bunch of professionals where the mother's an attorney and waited and put off the kids.
Isaac Hanson
And all the parents are like 75.
Allison Rosen
Years old, but the kids are 12.
Brian Bishop
Most of the twins are fraternal. There's three sets of boy, boy, 11 sets of girl girl, and 10 sets of boy girl. There's two sets of identical.
Adam Carolla
What's up with the dress them the same and then aren't you just half a kid? I mean, when essentially your doppelganger sitting across the table from you eating oatmeal every morning, don't you become sort of expendable?
Brian Bishop
I mean, wait, go four rows up on the left. They don't even have the same color hair.
Adam Carolla
Well, is everyone in the class a twin or over there or is this a twin or they assembled that twin photo. This is a twin photo.
Brian Bishop
No, this is the photo of the 24 sets of twins.
Adam Carolla
Okay, 48 kids. I'm just saying the dress them the same as a weird. It's a weird. I mean, aren't you gonna mess with their head vitro even more?
Isaac Hanson
Because I mean, fraternal twins is more likely than identical twins than vitro because it's multiple. Right, the details of that, sure.
Brian Bishop
So wait, you with your five children, are any of those multiples?
Adam Carolla
No. Wow.
Isaac Hanson
He's had sex at least five times.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Isaac Hanson
We can prove it.
Adam Carolla
So where do we come down on the dress? The same.
Brian Bishop
I'm opposed to it.
Allison Rosen
I think that was a photo. That's not for the photo.
Adam Carolla
No.
Brian Bishop
Some parents will dress their twins the same.
Adam Carolla
Well, if you do it for the photo, means you probably have the outfit.
Isaac Hanson
Exactly.
Adam Carolla
I mean, it's on hand.
Allison Rosen
Well, what do you do? What do you do?
Isaac Hanson
Do you dress your kids the same?
Adam Carolla
A boy and a girl, but yeah. So they both wear dresses? It feels. Well, no, no, but here, I mean, look, look, look. Orange. Orange. Yeah, I mean, I, I, it feels. And maybe that's for the photo, but I do feel it's weird. I used to see it as a kid and they'd be wearing the same dress or the same sailor outfit or whatever it was. And I always thought it's weird because your one claim to fame is like, I'm an individual, I'm who I am. And then there's this thing that's exactly the same as me. Right next to me. That's the same age. Like, what the hell?
Brian Bishop
Yeah. I think the goal with twins is to try to individuate them.
Adam Carolla
It'd be nice.
Allison Rosen
And how far do you take it too? Like into adulthood. Like, you know, doctors, scars. I'm sorry. My dad is a rodeo clown.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you gotta be one. Yeah. You need glasses. Well, you don't need glasses, but your brother. Well, put the glasses on.
Allison Rosen
Yeah. You're crashing into things.
Adam Carolla
My son's funny because he's a minute older than my daughter and never stops rubbing it in her face. I'm her big brother. It's a big deal that he's a whole minute older. All right, let's bring it home, baby girl.
Brian Bishop
That's the news. I'm Alison Rosenz at Bitcount.
Adam Carolla
That was the news with Alison Rose. Frozen. Ah, yes. Hulu baby. Who knew? I did. Hulu Plus. Total control of thousands of TV shows whenever you want, wherever you want. Favorite current shows like Parks and Rec, Community. Hope Alf's on here. Somewhere modern. It's not bad.
Allison Rosen
It's not the worst show ever.
Adam Carolla
The suckiest show ever.
Allison Rosen
No one there, actually.
Adam Carolla
I mean, it's middle sucky, but it's not total sucky.
Allison Rosen
Top half.
Adam Carolla
Top. Yeah, maybe three quarter you can make that argument.
Allison Rosen
I wouldn't disagree with you.
Adam Carolla
It's got some smiles in it.
Allison Rosen
Top 10%.
Adam Carolla
I'm not belly laughing, but I mean.
Allison Rosen
It'S some good solid chuckles.
Adam Carolla
Well, a joke's a joke. If it's coming from a puppet, it's coming from a puppet.
Allison Rosen
But way to kill half an hour.
Adam Carolla
You know, I'll watch it if I don't have anything else going on.
Allison Rosen
Someone got me the DVD set. I didn't get it for myself.
Adam Carolla
Best show on tv.
Allison Rosen
Amazing.
Adam Carolla
Love that show. Hall of fame. That's how every house conversation is. Yeah. Parks and Rec, Community, Modern Family, Jimmy Kimmel, Live Family. Guys all in there at classic reruns. Hey, the man shows on Hulu Plus. That's right. And you can use your TV or game consoles. I always say Councils, Consoles, Blu Ray players, Roku. Boom. Roku. I don't know. There you go. Apple tv. You can watch anywhere from your smartphone, your tablet, whatever you want. $7.99 a month. But my listeners get a special extended free trial. Just go to huluplus.com and Adam, that's huluplus.com, adam. Or click on the Hulu+ banner@adamcarolla.com. all right. Hanson you know, it's time to dance for the man, man. You know what to do, right?
Allison Rosen
Put the man. Gria.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Isaac Hanson
We will be dancing, but we will be playing. Does that mean play and bop?
Adam Carolla
Is that kind of what that sounds like? Yes.
Larry Miller
Chance for the man.
Isaac Hanson
You realize how creepy that sounds after you hear the comment about the bedroom.
Brian Bishop
That was the creepiest thing ever, right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Isaac Hanson
Stepfather with knocking on the door and, you know, little old school. In dedication to your drink.
Adam Carolla
Thank you so much.
Guest Singer
Oh.
Adam Carolla
Oh.
Guest Singer
Yeah Give some. You go through all the penis traps, right? Turn your back, you gone too fast oh, yeah gone so fast yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Oh, so long to the one to.
Guest Singer
Really care when you get up.
Adam Carolla
Still.
Guest Singer
Care Whoa, oh.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Guest Singer
Second, you don't know can't tell it oh, no, you can't, you don't can't tell me Second. But you don't know can you tell me? Oh, no, you can't know can you tell me? Know don't know how don't know Little hops.
Adam Carolla
Little.
Guest Singer
Yeah, yeah.
Isaac Hanson
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Oh, love that song. Nothing like a good pop song. God, that sounded great.
Brian Bishop
That was so. Yeah.
Isaac Hanson
I love that you were joking about the. The comedy of that song. Have you seen the new Hangover movie with this? Because it starts with mbop.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I've not seen the third one, the new.
Isaac Hanson
It starts with that song. And Zach Olifanak has bought a giraffe, and he drives under an overpass while listening to Just Lost in the Moment, and it decapitates itself.
Adam Carolla
It's phenomenal. I write comedy. I did the giraffe overpass math. I was two lanes ahead of you, brother. Yeah, that sounded amazing. Not on Anthem, by the way. New album out, but available on Amazon. And if you want to go to the website, the website will have where you can get the beer, where you can get the tickets, where you can get the T shirts, where you can go the shows, all that. Hanson.com Hanson.com Twitter them@hanson Music. Thank you guys, for.
Isaac Hanson
It's actually Hanson.net.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I'm sorry. Hanson.net. you know, when I see the dot, I just go into the comments, and.
Isaac Hanson
I wouldn't say it except for, you know.
Adam Carolla
No, you're right.
Isaac Hanson
Just gonna do. They're gonna go there immediately, and they're gonna come to Hanson.com and Hanson.com hates concrete company.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Isaac Hanson
Like, this is not.
Adam Carolla
This is.
Isaac Hanson
Which is. Which is our next endeavor. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Concrete. Yeah. Canson.net is where you go. Isaac, Taylor, Zach, thank you guys so much. Always a pleasure. And MHOP's very delectable pale ale. Please try that out. So until next time, this is Adam Kroll for Allison Rose and Hanson and bald Brian saying mahalo. We sit her over the house so I can have some sex. Sorry, Brian. Do that again. Let's get the babysitter over the house so I can have sex.
Podcast Narrator
All right, that's Adam Cole Show 1106 with Hansen Live in studio. Adam, of course, has been a longtime fan of Hansen, dating all the way back to the 90s. He never proclaimed their music to be lame or pretended he didn't like it or called it a guilty pleasure.
Adam Carolla
Pleasure.
Podcast Narrator
He was just an outright fan since Loveline. There's of course the famous story where he bought Dr. Drew's kids out to the KROQ weenie roast and he introduced them as Hanson and the entire crowd started going nuts screaming at him, possibly traumatizing the kids. Not Adam, though. Always a fan and they've always come back in studio since the morning show all the way through the podcast. Playing live, doing exclusive songs, one of which was even done for a different service is no longer around when they had exclusive content. Unfortunately, they did not archive the high definition recording. Or if they did, nobody knows where they kept it. If you like to hear more Hanson, let me know classics@adamcarola.com we'll play more we've played in the past. That does it for Ace Cool Classics. Make sure to tune tomorrow for all new installment. Until then, mahalo and get it on.
Brian Bishop
Yes, Mr. Gecko, you're a huge inspiration to us all. But who was your muse?
Adam Carolla
Oh, my dear old Nan. She imparted many wise words to me. She would say, never let the fame get your head. Always remember who you are and let people get more than just savings. With Geico's fast and friendly claim support, I lived up to her advice. And now anyone can file a claim anywhere and anytime. I miss her so much. Did she go somewhere?
Brian Bishop
Extended quilting trip.
Adam Carolla
Get more than just savings. Get more with Geico.
Date: August 16, 2025
Podcast Host: Adam Carolla
Guests: Larry Miller, Hanson, Allison Rosen, Brian Bishop
Producer/Moderator: Super Fan Giovanni
This episode of The Adam Carolla Show (Carolla Classics edition), hosted by super fan Giovanni, takes a deep dive into two classic segments: a moving and comic interview with comedian Larry Miller (from 2012 after his life-threatening accident), and a lively in-studio visit and performance from the band Hanson. The episode is filled with Adam’s signature observational humor, candid discussions with guests, memorable stories, and live music.
Larry Miller (On Hospital Aliases):
"It's nice of you to call that place Encino. That's Reseda." (12:42)
Adam (On Social Drinking):
“You take a half a fake sip, you know, and then just walk around...I'm not going to fucking dust it for prints.” (29:01)
Allison (On Adam’s Father):
“He's like a car that's constantly almost on empty and you want to coast in neutral down a hill.” (20:35)
Adam (On Feet on Planes):
"How many bullet trains in Japan, how many millions of miles would you have to travel before you saw somebody with their bare feet higher than their head?" (41:36)
Hanson (on performing as brothers):
"We do not get along all the time, but we respect each other." (160:48)
Hypothetical Road Trip Game: Adam challenges Larry to choose between hilarious/obnoxious characters for a cross-country road trip, with the running joke of Larry’s historically poor performance at the game—until now.
Media Reviews:
Pop Culture & Social Commentary:
Adam and guests riff on:
Unfiltered Banter: Discussions occasionally veer into the profane or absurd (e.g., dog poop solutions, the mechanics of social politeness, and hypothetical inventions like the “Recyclerola”).
Funny Product Recaps: Regular podcast sponsors are worked into bits, including riffs about beer, jump ropes, and subscription boxes.
This episode delivers vintage Adam Carolla—a seamless blend of stand-up-level observational humor, deeply personal and surprisingly tender life stories, insightful (if raunchy) social commentary, and rare live performances from a multiplatinum pop band. Both classic interviews showcase the intersection of comedy, resilience, music, and real life.
Whether you love candid celebrity stories, salty etiquette rants, or just want a front-row seat to live, unfiltered podcasting, this two-parter is a classic.