Happy Thanksgiving 2024!

Summary

Adam Carolla Show: "Happy Thanksgiving 2024!" – Episode Summary

Podcast Information:

• Title: Adam Carolla Show
• Host/Author: PodcastOne / Carolla Digital
• Episode: Happy Thanksgiving 2024!
• Release Date: November 28, 2024

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Introduction

In the "Happy Thanksgiving 2024!" episode of The Adam Carolla Show, Adam Carolla delivers a heartfelt and humorous Thanksgiving message to his listeners. The episode primarily focuses on embracing the holiday spirit, sharing personal anecdotes, and presenting his signature cranberry sauce recipe. Despite the festive occasion, the conversation begins with a light-hearted discussion about managing holiday stress and the temptation to indulge.

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Conversation on Drinking and Holiday Stress ([00:01] – [01:02])

The episode opens with a candid exchange between Adam Carolla and his co-host Dawson about handling work-induced stress during the holiday season.

• Adam Carolla ([00:01]): "When work gets crazy, I like to..."
• Dawson ([00:02]): "Stop by the bar after, have a few cold ones."
• Adam Carolla ([00:05]): "I don't drink at all until 4:00. We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night."

This brief conversation sets a relaxed tone, acknowledging common holiday behaviors while also highlighting personal boundaries regarding alcohol consumption.

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Thanksgiving Message and Gratitude ([01:02] – [04:17])

Adam Carolla transitions into his Thanksgiving message, blending humor with genuine gratitude. He emphasizes the importance of taking a break from the usual routines and fully embracing the holiday spirit.

• Adam Carolla ([01:02]): "Well, it's Thanksgiving. Here we are again. 15 in. Jeez Louise, where's the time gone?"

He encourages listeners to take the day off from exercising, advocating for complete relaxation:

• Adam Carolla ([01:26]): "If you're planning on jogging today, you should jog into the back of a municipal bus because I don't want to see anyone. Take a goddamn day off."

Adam highlights the historical significance of Thanksgiving, referencing the pilgrims and the traditional practices:

• Adam Carolla ([03:57]): "It's a mandate that you cheat today. And that doesn't involve exercising."

Expressing his gratitude, Adam credits his listeners for enabling him to pursue his passion:

• Adam Carolla ([04:17]): "I'm really thankful for you guys. And I know it sounds like I'm kissing butt here, but you guys have enabled me to do this for a living, which is just something I never thought I could ever do."

He shares a personal reflection on his journey, contrasting his current success with his humble beginnings:

• Adam Carolla ([04:17]): "I thought, you know, I'd be on a roof somewhere swinging a hammer about this time. Or maybe, maybe I'd have my own small crew of Guatemalans who were super bitter and they didn't like the jefe or the maestro. That would be me."

Adam underscores the significance of his listeners, sharing stories that highlight the impact of his show on diverse audiences:

• Adam Carolla ([04:17]): "The best story I ever hear is when the dad shows up at the comedy show and he brings his 23-year-old son and he goes, he got me onto you. And now I listen..."

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Cranberry Sauce Recipe ([15:24] – [19:33])

A standout segment of the episode is Adam’s detailed yet humorous cranberry sauce recipe. He provides a straightforward guide, infused with his characteristic wit and no-nonsense attitude towards holiday traditions.

Recipe Instructions:

1. Ingredients:

   • 12-ounce sack of fresh cranberries
   • 1 cup of water (free)
   • ½ cup of sugar (adjustable to taste)

2. Method:

   • Rinse the Cranberries: "Rinse the cranberries, bring the water to a boil..."
   • Combine and Cook: "Throw in a half cup of sugar, stir it, let it emulsify and disintegrate there inside the water."
   • Simmer: "Put the lid on, put it on low, simmer it, walk away. It's done in five to ten minutes."
   • Serving: Adam emphasizes serving the cranberry sauce warm for enhanced flavor: "Cold cranberry sauce does not help. A little warm, a little warmer than room temperature. It's good."

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla ([15:24]): "It's nothing. It's nothing. It's a 12 ounce sack of cranberries, cup of water free."
• Adam Carolla ([15:24]): "If you like the canned version of it, there's something wrong with you. I like the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese version of Mac. No, no, there's something wrong with you. You're stupid fresh. It's better."

Adam humorously criticizes canned cranberry sauce, advocating for the freshness and simplicity of his homemade recipe:

• Adam Carolla ([15:24]): "Symbolically, nobody should ever reach for a can opener during Thanksgiving. There's two things you shouldn't do in Thanksgiving. No, three things. First thing, you shouldn't exercise. Second thing, you shouldn't do is burn any calories turning a can opener."

He concludes the recipe segment by reiterating his gratitude and encouraging listeners to enjoy the holiday without overcomplicating traditions:

• Adam Carolla ([19:33]): "I want to tell you that if you'd like to listen to the show commercial free... Thank you. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and mahalo."

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Expressions of Gratitude and Final Thoughts

Towards the end of the episode, Adam reflects on his career and the unexpected path that led him to success in podcasting:

• Adam Carolla ([04:17]): "I didn't think I'd be coming into my own building and sitting in air conditioning and talking to really interesting people and having interesting discussions and exchanging ideas."

He shares amusing stories about the listening audience, showcasing the diverse impact of his show:

• Adam Carolla ([04:17]): "The best story I ever hear is when the dad shows up at the comedy show and he brings his 23-year-old son and he goes, he got me onto you."

Adam also humorously criticizes common Thanksgiving practices that detract from the enjoyment of the day, reinforcing his message to fully embrace the holiday spirit without unnecessary stress or effort.

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Conclusion

In the "Happy Thanksgiving 2024!" episode, Adam Carolla successfully blends humor with heartfelt gratitude, offering listeners both entertainment and practical advice for enjoying the holiday. His cranberry sauce recipe serves as a centerpiece, reflecting his no-frills approach to traditional festivities. By focusing on taking a well-deserved break and appreciating his audience, Adam fosters a sense of community and appreciation that resonates with his listeners.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Adam Carolla ([00:05]): "I don't drink at all until 4:00. We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night."
• Adam Carolla ([01:02]): "It's a mandate that you cheat today. And that doesn't involve exercising."
• Adam Carolla ([04:17]): "I'm really thankful for you guys. And I know it sounds like I'm kissing butt here..."
• Adam Carolla ([15:24]): "Symbolically, nobody should ever reach for a can opener during Thanksgiving."
• Adam Carolla ([19:33]): "Thank you. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and mahalo."

---

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show is a blend of humor, personal reflection, and practical holiday advice, making it a perfect listen for those looking to embrace Thanksgiving with a light-hearted and genuine spirit.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

When work gets crazy, I like to.

[Dawson]

Stop by the bar after, have a few cold ones.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't drink at all until 4:00. We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night.

[Unknown Speaker]

Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks, a few nights a week, it can add up and suddenly we're at greater risk for long term problems like heart disease, cancer and depression. Reason enough to rethink the drink. More [e-mail] an OHA initiative.

[Dawson]

The kind of burgers you get today tells you a lot about yourself. You're either someone who settles for sad, same old same old burgers or you're Eddie Carl's junior Obsessed with a tangy OG Western bacon cheeseburger, demanding a house made guacamole, loaded guac bacon, fired up for the insanely hot El Diablo or craving a classic charmer world famous star, Give in to your flavor cravings. Get your mouth to Carl's Jr.

[Unknown Speaker]

Good Burger.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's Thanksgiving. Here we are again. 15 in. Jeez Louise, where's the time gone? Thanks for sticking with me. Thanks for sticking with my sponsors and here's to a good year. And I'll give you the recipe and give you a few words of encouragement and I'll see you on the other side.

[Unknown Speaker]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Unknown Speaker]

From Corolla one studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Corolla show. Today, Adam shares his best wishes and his legendary cranberry sauce recipe. And now, happy Thanksgiving, Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get it on. Gobble, gobble. Yeah, I get my recipe. I tell you a couple things I'm thankful for and wish you guys a happy Thanksgiving and share a couple of thoughts with you on this day. First things first, as we always talk about, if you're planning on jogging today, you should jog into the back of a municipal bus because I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to see anyone exercising today. Take a goddamn day off. Just take a day off. I don't care. Even the Rock has cheat days. You know the Rock? That guy? You smell what he's cooking? He's cooking cranberry sauce, biatch. Like when people say biatch instead of bitch. It's clever, you know what I mean? Point is this. Take a cheat day. Today's a cheat day. It's the ultimate cheat day. A God and the pilgrims and the Nina, the Pinto and the Santa Barrier. All. It's a mandate that you cheat today. And that doesn't involve exercising. So there will be no exercising today. It's a cheat day. You're fine. The Rock can do it. You can do it, number one. And if you have to exercise, you run in place in your living room. I do not want to see you on the roads today. I'm going out. I'm buying booze and stuffing. I don't want to see you running in place. It's a shaming. It's shaming to me and I don't want to see it all right now. Thankful. What am I thankful for? Well, I'm really thankful for you guys. And I know it sounds like I'm kissing butt here, but you guys have enabled me to do this for living, which is just something I never thought I could ever do. So, you know, I thought, you know, I'd be on a roof somewhere swinging a hammer about this time. Or maybe, maybe I'd have my own small crew of Guatemalans who were super bitter and they didn't like the jefe or the maestro. That would be me. But I didn't think I'd be coming into my own building and sitting in air conditioning and talking to really interesting people and having interesting discussions and exchanging ideas. I mean, it's really a blessing. Essentially I sit around all day and I watch TV and I look at X and I listen to the radio and then I have a little buck slip next to me and I write stuff down on it and then I come in here and regurgitate it into the microphone with some really great comedians and friends and thinkers. And then I go back home and I rinse and I repeat. And I think that is a, that is a blessing. Maybe not compared to, I don't know, a couple jobs, maybe fighter pilot, astronaut, professional baseball player, pro quarterback, something like that. But from where I'm from and how I grew up and what my expectations were coming out of high school, that's a big win for me. And again, impossible if people like you do not listen and share. The best story I ever hear is when the dad shows up at the comedy show and he brings his 23 year old son and he goes, he got me onto you. And now I listen all that favorite story, actually that. And I work and I drive a truck and I like to listen to you because it gets me through the long halls and the nights that. That's the best public rec. Love these guys wearing their, I don't want to call them sweatpants. I don't know what they're. They're sweatpants that look like nice dress pants. Very comfortable. I'll show you in a second. Anyway, the nice stuff, the nice pants, it's kind of. They're uncomfortable traditionally, fabric squeezing the family jewels. You want to stay comfy, you want to look classy all season. Public recs daymaker pants. Here they are. I'm holding them up. That's the, that's the leg, by the way. If you look in the back of them, it's the size, that size. It doesn't say large or extra large or jumbo or long or anything. It's 36, 34. Should be a 34. 34. But you know, coming into the holidays, always a little extra eating going on anyway. They feel like sweats. They look like tailored pants. Super stretchy. They got pockets on the side with zippers on them so your wallet and phone don't fall out. And you get in the back of the Uber and you can wear them anywhere. I've been wearing mine a couple days in a row. So you want to give the gift of comfort this holiday season? Go with Public Rec's daymaker pants. Beautiful. Big holiday sale. 20% off your entire order@public rec.com support the show and tell them I sent you and be comfy. And again, it's not small, medium, large, xl. It is the size. It is your waist and your inseam. That's the size you get. So much better than everyone else's version of what is XL or what is large. Now you give them your size 10 unique colors including navy, dark olive and stone gray. It's Public Rec, right?

[Unknown Speaker]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Dawson]

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[Unknown Speaker]

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[Adam Carolla]

All right, so the recipe you're going to need, a sack of cranberries, easy. I don't know. I don't even feel like cranberry. I don't think they charge you for cranberries. I think they're ostensibly free. I don't even know what a sack of cranberries costs, but it's nothing. It's nothing. It's a 12 ounce sack of cranberries, cup of water free. And then the sugar, well, you start off with half a cup and you can move it up depending on what your taste is. Rinse the cranberries, bring the water to a boil, at least the cup that you thrown in the pot, saucepan, throw in a half cup of sugar, stir it, let it emulsify and disintegrate there inside the water. And then you add the cranberries in your cover. I mean, it is really the same amount of effort is making Eggo frozen waffles really, like for those of you who say, I don't want another thing to cook, really couldn't handle Eggo frozen waffles. Like, if you really think about it, you gotta take the Eggos out of the freezer, you gotta put them in the toaster, get the butter out, get the syrup out, spread the butter somehow on a waffle. Even though they've made it impossible, they've designed it not to accommodate butter, not gracefully at least. Either way, this is nothing. Put the lid on, put it on low, simmer it, walk away. It's done. Five to ten minutes. Fresh cranberries. And people say, well, I like the canned version. Well, first off, a pox on you. Who like the canned version of anything. Number one, that's just. That's a white trash move right there. I like the canned version of it. Doesn't matter what it is. If you like the canned version of it, there's something wrong with you. I like the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese version of Mac. No, no, there's something wrong with you. You're stupid fresh. It's better. But secondly, symbolically, nobody should ever reach for a can opener during Thanksgiving. There's two things you shouldn't do in Thanksgiving. No, three things. First thing, you shouldn't exercise. Second thing you shouldn't do is burn any calories turning a can opener. And then the third thing you shouldn't do is not drink. Even though that sounds like a double negative. And maybe it is. But you should not not drink, and you should not exercise, and you should never touch a can opener during Thanksgiving. I would hide them if I were you. Just in case you drink too much. You want to reach for a can opener. So you put that all in a sauce pan, which is really a pot, even though it's called a sauce pan. I don't think they call the sauce pot. And it's done. It's done in five minutes. You can say you made it for yourself, and you made it yourself to the folks that show up to your Thanksgiving and hate you because you voted for Trump. And it's even a little bit warm. And I gotta tell you, cold cranberry sauce does not help. A little warm, A little warmer than room temperature. It's good. Everything tastes better. The flavor comes out when it's a little bit warm. So you just cook on the pot and you put it on the side and it cools down, but it gets a little warmer than room. And there you go. All right. So I want to thank you for another year of letting me do what I want to do for a living. And I can only do that because of you. And I want to tell you that if you'd like to listen to the show commercial free, or listen to me and Jay Moore doing Beat it out and all the other interesting perks we have out there, it's Adam. Carolla.substack.com I want to thank you people who subscribe to that because you're all here, and the reason you're here is so that I don't have to get a real job. Thank you. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and mahalo.

[Unknown Speaker]

You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744. And you can always get Tickets to see Adam Carolla at AdamCarolla do.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dawson]

Hilarious new standup special from comedy legend Jim Gaffigan. The Skinny is coming to Hulu November 22nd. This Thanksgiving, see Jim in a whole new light as he gives you the inside scoop on everything from parenting teenagers to weight loss and gaslighting family members. For everyone in need of a happy hour, the new Hoolarius Stand up special, Jim the Skinny is now streaming on Hulu.

[Unknown Speaker]

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