Harris Wittels + Legion of Skanks (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Episode Summary: The Adam Carolla Show - Harris Wittels + Legion of Skanks (Carolla Classics)
Release Date: February 23, 2025

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Introduction to Coral Classics and Harris Wittels

In this special edition of The Adam Carolla Show, presented through the Corolla Classics series hosted by Giovanni, the focus returns to a poignant moment from episode 948 featuring the late Harris Wittels. Released to commemorate the ten-year anniversary of Wittels' untimely passing, this episode revisits Wittels' sole appearance on the show alongside Allison Rose and Brian Bishop.

Harris Wittels Discusses "Humble Brag: The Art of False Modesty"

At [01:03], Adam Carolla welcomes Harris Wittels back to the spotlight, setting the stage for an insightful discussion on Wittels' book, Humble Brag: The Art of False Modesty. Wittels introduces the concept of the "humblebrag," a term he coined to describe individuals, particularly in the entertainment industry, who engage in subtle self-promotion disguised as modesty.

Defining the Humblebrag

Wittels elaborates at [03:18], stating, “Humble Brag: The Art of False Modesty. And the humble brag is a phrase that I kind of coined on Twitter, based on people, mostly in the entertainment industry that I've noticed that like to brag and then they don't want to appear as if they're bragging, so they kind of mask it with a self-deprecating remark.” He highlights the pervasive nature of humblebragging, offering examples such as celebrities claiming they remain grounded despite their fame.

Examples and Analysis

Throughout the conversation, Wittels and Carolla dissect various instances of humblebragging. At [04:58], Wittels remarks, “When you're like, I'm bl. And by the way, I don't take credit for it. You're doing, by the way, take credit for it because what you're doing is more narcissistic,” critiquing how such statements often serve as veiled self-praise.

A notable example discussed at [06:14] involves Donald Glover's tweet: “I'm so lucky to be the first thing that Japanese guys see when they get off the subway,” which Carolla interprets as a clear humblebrag. Wittels responds, “But he posted the picture of him looking fresh to death in that Gap ad, and I was like, you love that you're in that ad in Japan,” emphasizing the thin veil between modesty and bragging.

Panel’s Humorous Interjections and Critiques

Carolla and co-hosts, including Brian Bishop, inject humor and personal anecdotes throughout the discussion. At [07:08], Carolla quips, “I'm gonna brag. Just brag. Just be proud of what you do. Don't try to disguise it,” aligning with Wittels' advocacy for genuine self-promotion over humblebragging.

The panel also touches upon the societal and psychological aspects of humblebragging. For instance, Bishop at [10:12] questions, “Is there one that's your favorite or the most egregious?,” prompting Wittels to recount various instances that highlight the concept's breadth and impact.

Writing the Book and Legal Considerations

Wittels discusses the process of compiling his book based on Twitter content. At [14:44], he mentions, “A lot of which he was completely right about. So I had to put all these catty remarks in afterwards, by the way,” indicating his added commentary to provide depth beyond mere logging of humblebrags.

The conversation also delves into the legal intricacies of writing about public figures. Wittels notes, “I have to put. Some regular people in here along with some celebrities, so I had to put. I had to, you know, I had to take down the big man, too,” addressing the challenges of critiquing both celebrities and everyday individuals without inciting legal repercussions.

Conclusion: Reflecting on Wittels’ Legacy

As the episode wraps up, Wittels delivers a memorable line at [65:08], “I'm happy to be the thing that Japanese men jerk off to on the subway,” encapsulating the essence of a humblebrag. This poignant yet humorous remark serves as a testament to Wittels' sharp wit and his ability to blend humor with critical social commentary.

Giovanni closes the episode by honoring Wittels, stating, “Totally crushed it. Rest in peace, Harris,” reaffirming the lasting impact Wittels had on listeners and the show.

Final Thoughts

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a rich exploration of the humblebrag phenomenon through Harris Wittels' insightful analysis and the show's characteristic humor. By dissecting real-world examples and engaging in candid discussions, the episode provides listeners with a comprehensive understanding of how modesty can sometimes mask self-promotion, all while celebrating Wittels' enduring legacy in the world of comedy and podcasting.

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Notable Quotes:

• Harris Wittels [03:18]: “Humble Brag: The Art of False Modesty. And the humble brag is a phrase that I kind of coined on Twitter, based on people, mostly in the entertainment industry that I've noticed that like to brag and then they don't want to appear as if they're bragging, so they kind of mask it with a self-deprecating remark.”

• Adam Carolla [07:08]: “I'm gonna brag. Just brag. Just be proud of what you do. Don't try to disguise it.”

• Harris Wittels [65:08]: “I'm happy to be the thing that Japanese men jerk off to on the subway.”

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This structured and detailed summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, insights, and conclusions while including notable quotes with proper attribution and timestamps. It provides a comprehensive overview useful for those who haven't listened to the episode.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Foreign.

[Giovanni]

Welcome to Coral Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast. We play the best moments, highlights and fan selected clips from all 16 years of the Adam Carolla show. We have a separate podcast feed titled Coral Classics with the ad free archives available through Adam Corolla's substack adamcarolla.substack.com you can find ad free archives for this show, the Adam Carolla show, as well as Adam's brand new podcast Beat it Out, currently featuring Jay Moore. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsdamcorl.com now on to the clips Coming up first we have Adam Corolla show 948 featuring the late, great Harris Riddles. Featuring the late great Harris Whittles. Rest in peace, dude. This one also has Allison Rose and Brian bishop. It's from 2012. It's his sole appearance. He totally crushes it. In light of the 10 year anniversary of his death, thought it'd be fitting to play this again. Hope you guys enjoy.

[Adam Carolla]

Harris Whittles. Good to see you, my friend.

[Harris Whittles]

Thanks for having me.

[Adam Carolla]

He has a book called Humble Brag. It is the art of false modesty. I like that. And you can get it on Amazon. And again, we're back up and running. So we got the new website. So if you're going to get Harris book, you can go to Amazon or you can go to AdamCroll.com and click on the Amazon banner and keep the pirate ship afloat, man. Love you. Because all I do now is get drunk on Mangria and give interviews and curse out Hollywood so I'll never be back again. So this is it, people. You got to help us.

[Brian Bishop]

The bridge is on fire.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. I've burnt that bridge behind me. Let's talk about the book.

[Harris Whittles]

I've had a lot of this Mangria, so. Oh, good out there. It's really good.

[Adam Carolla]

I enjoy it myself.

[Harris Whittles]

Is it just wine and vodka?

[Adam Carolla]

Just wine and vodka. No, it has some orange. Because just wine and vodka is kind of shitty tasting. It's got some orange in it and some grape in it and some other stuff.

[Harris Whittles]

I thought I tasted some grape essence.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it sneaks up on you and it works. I know it's sad. It's gonna be one of these things. Like I'm gonna be like Mr. Curie, like if my own.

[Gina Grad]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, my damn Curie. Well, what I'm doing is she was killed by radiation poisoning, right? Is that how she went?

[Harris Whittles]

Sounds right.

[Adam Carolla]

What by Working with it. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna be taken down by my own product.

[Harris Whittles]

Well, there you go.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Adam Carolla]

You see what I'm saying?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yes.

[Harris Whittles]

Like a meth lab that explodes.

[Brian Bishop]

What an exotic and elegant analogy for something that we all see coming already.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I'm gonna end up. I'm gonna end up like the Crocodile Hunter. Like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna be taken out doing what I. You know what you love drinking what I love. Which drink.

[Mike Dawson]

Like George Washington Carver crushed by that big sack of peanuts.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we all remember that. Yeah. Is that true?

[Harris Whittles]

That can't be true.

[Brian Bishop]

But not just you. All the people.

[Adam Carolla]

You. You've turned everyone around. Me. And then. Yeah. First Mike August and then lynch, and then my wife and my kids and all that kind of stuff. All right, so we're Allaholics. Harris, let's talk about the book.

[Harris Whittles]

All right, well, so it's basically, it's humble brag, the art of false modesty. And the humble brag is a phrase that I kind of coined on Twitter, based on people, mostly in the entertainment industry that I've noticed that like to brag and then they don't want to appear as if they're bragging, so they kind of mask it with.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Harris Whittles]

A self deprecating remark.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Harris Whittles]

And it's. It was very annoying to me.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree.

[Harris Whittles]

So I decided to be vigilant about it and I started retweeting people that were doing this on Twitter. And then the feed, just, like, people started emailing me like, you know, well, let's.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I'll. I'll tell you one that comes to mind.

[Harris Whittles]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

I love it when celebrities explain how they're kept grounded. Because I got a three year old and little Nathaniel, he doesn't see a superstar when I come through the door. All he knows is he wants his baba and is hugging. And they're like, it sounds cute. But you realize you're talking about. Obviously if you're explaining that you're kept grounded, it means that you need to be grounded. Which hobos don't talk. No one asks hobos what keeps them grounded. The actual ground keeps them grounded. They sleep on the ground. That's what keeps them grounded. But when they. Or they'll do that thing where they go, like, I keep. My grandmama came to this country, she worked three jobs, and I keep her table that she used to sew on in the corner. And I look at that every day and I realize just how blessed I am blessed.

[Harris Whittles]

That's common.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. When you're like, I'm bl. And by the way, I don't take credit for it. You're doing, by the way, take credit for it because what you're doing is more narcissistic. You're actually explaining that God passed by all of us to get to you and touch you.

[Harris Whittles]

And yeah, another common one, kind of like that is when people say like, can you believe this Me? Little old me winning an Oscar. It's just me. It's like, how did I get chosen?

[Brian Bishop]

They wanted to put me on the COVID of a magazine. Do they have the right number?

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, and if I talk to another fucking 6 foot 2 blonde who weighs nothing, explaining how they were awkward in high school and no one asked me to the prom.

[Harris Whittles]

Lot of tomboys. A lot of beautiful tomboys out there.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way. No one asked you to the prom because you were in Milan underneath an Arab dude when you were 14 doing coke. That's why you couldn't go to the prom. You were fucking walking the catwalk for Calvin Klein. That's why you weren't at your prom. But like, I think I could have done the Uma Thurman math when I was 17. Like I really like. If a bunch of guys were going, oh, she's so tall and skinny and bleh, I would have went, I'll pick up those pieces just fine.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you remember what the very first humble brag you?

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah, it was from Donald Glover, from Community, the Childish Gambino. That's his, his rap moniker. And it was about. He was on in a Gap ad and he posted a picture of the Gap ad in Japan and he was like, I'm so lucky to be the first thing that Japanese guys see when they get off the subway. Or something like that. It was, it was, I forgot exactly what it was, but it was self deprec or no, it was like, I'm happy to be the thing that Japanese men jerk off to on the subway. It was very strange.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harris Whittles]

And. But then he posted the picture of him looking, you know, all fresh to death in that Gap ad. And I was like, you love that you're in that ad in Japan.

[Adam Carolla]

I retweet myself all day long, but that's just bragging.

[Harris Whittles]

That's acceptable.

[Adam Carolla]

But now why is it?

[Mike Dawson]

How is that acceptable?

[Adam Carolla]

It's stuff.

[Harris Whittles]

I'm gonna brag. Just brag. Just be proud of what you do. Don't try to disguise it. That's.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, like I shouldn't say, like, this isn't that funny, but check it out anyway. You're.

[Harris Whittles]

You're in this book. Once. I have to confess.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, shit. What did I do?

[Harris Whittles]

I didn't know I would ever end.

[Mike Dawson]

Up enjoy this hilarious joke. Losers. That's what you gotta say.

[Harris Whittles]

It's one of. It's one of the lesser ones. Like, it's not that offensive.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, all right now.

[Harris Whittles]

But I also wanted to put some. Some regular people in here along with some celebrities, so I had to put. I had to, you know, I had to.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, which one is he?

[Harris Whittles]

He's a celebrity. I can't just, like, pick on college kids in Ohio for no reason.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, oh. But just to be.

[Harris Whittles]

I gotta take down the big man, too. And you're the big man.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, just to be clear.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I talk all fucking day long, and I have no recollection of what I say. And then people pull out things that I say, and then they tweet them to me, and then I retweet them. But I always just think, well, I said it. I'm not ripping anyone off.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Harris Whittles]

And there's no reason. Okay, here's what it is. You said just made number one on iTunes. Audiobooks. Thanks, you guys. Check it out before it gets crowned by Snooki or the Kardashians. Not that offensive, but technically a brag, you're saying? Yeah, yeah. I'm number one now, but it's not gonna last, guys. Now come get it while it's hot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Harris Whittles]

She, you know, truly one of the least lingering ones.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, don't, don't. Don't soft pedal it. Come in here.

[Brian Bishop]

What he's saying is you're not even good at humble brats.

[Adam Carolla]

No, what I realize, what I realized, and I think some of this. I'm guilty of this. You want to tell people something. You want to say, like, if you were on the radio and you were number one, like, the books just came in and they said you were the number one morning show, you would want to say that to your audience. Because you'd want to go, like, see, whatever you're doing, it's working. Like you're part of this thing. I mean, almost like a team winning a Super bowl or something like that. We did it. We did it. So you want to do an element of sort of thank you, and we did it. And then you realize if I don't put a joke at the end of it, it'll just be self congratulatory.

[Harris Whittles]

Right. And then you feel like you're you're an asshole then. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Harris Whittles]

So it's just saying, hey, we're number one.

[Adam Carolla]

Number one. So now you have to go, okay, now I need to put a joke at the end of it.

[Harris Whittles]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

But now I have to do a self deprecating joke. Otherwise it'll be we're number one and that'll be it in a bubble. And then I will be a douche.

[Harris Whittles]

I totally get the justification to do that.

[Adam Carolla]

What page am I on? I like that.

[Harris Whittles]

This is 101.

[Adam Carolla]

101. That's the best page.

[Harris Whittles]

You're in the chapter. Can you believe they included me on this list? There's a lot of people that are like, I can't believe I'm number two. Mike Tyson. I'm reading this one. I heard I'm the second most influential athlete on Twitter and Facebook. Not bad for a guy who a year ago didn't know what social media was.

[Adam Carolla]

That's Tyson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who is number one.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, that's Minka.

[Brian Bishop]

Is there one that's your favorite or the most egregious?

[Harris Whittles]

Well, there's a whole chapter on this guy named Totes mcgotes and he's pretty egregious. He's like a real estate guy in San Diego and he's, he's a. I don't know who he is. I still don't know his real identity.

[Adam Carolla]

All you have to do is fall around tyra banks for 10 minutes and.

[Harris Whittles]

I feel like you should ride another book.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she's got to be in this book.

[Harris Whittles]

She is. Somewhere. Yeah, she's in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Harris Whittles]

So this totes McGoats guy, he. The first one that was sent to me was actually have to dolly my TV through the house. Like a four mile walk from garage to family slash pool room.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Harris Whittles]

And then a picture of like his large hallway.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I realized what's going on on the college level? A lot of when guys in the pros score a touchdown, they've been doing this new thing. And when I say they, I think, you know, I'm talking about where they point at their. They point at their back. Like they do this. Hey, you see the name on the back? Check me out. Check, check out who scored this touchdown. Brian probably seen this enough in the NFL. It's, it's worked its way down to the college level. Except for half the teams in college don't have their names. So they're doing like, hey. And it's like, well, you're 45. But that's on the front Too. So why are you doing the back.

[Harris Whittles]

And there's a lot of. There's a lot of 45s on a lot of teams.

[Adam Carolla]

And there's. And it's not on. There's no. You're pointing at your non. Name on the back of your jersey. Like, someone has to really sit down and explain the end zone celebration that does the. Check out the name on the back of the jersey. If we're one of the many, many college teams, I guess Notre Dame's that way. Scs that way. Yeah. Who. Do not put the name on the back of the jersey. Don't do that one.

[Harris Whittles]

Right, right.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I agree. Do one. Here's do one where you point at the front of the jersey and then do a move where you look it up in the program, you know, like lick a finger, you know, I don't know. I'm not telling you exactly how to mime that. This. And then do that, you know, or.

[Harris Whittles]

Just point to the sky. That's.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, point to the sky.

[Harris Whittles]

Stick to that one. Just thank Jesus and we'll.

[Adam Carolla]

He got you in. That's right. And then the DB who got burnt and lit up for the. For the six. You point at the ground, you curse the devil. Everyone should point it. Everyone who got burned. Like, whoever missed the tackle and got burned's got to point at the ground and be like.

[Harris Whittles]

Or. I'd love to see a Satanist player who was thanking the ground. He thanks the devil.

[Adam Carolla]

That'd be a good time place for Arizona.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Good team to start on the Sun Devils. Oh, yeah. Shit.

[Mike Dawson]

You got that, buddy?

[Adam Carolla]

That's Arizona. The state of Arizona. All right, give us one more. Harris, what do you got?

[Harris Whittles]

Okay, well, since I've put on like £20 in the last year, I'll do one from the oh, I'm too skinny chapter.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no. Oh, the chicks hate the too skinny chapter.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah. So she. This girl who I don't know, she says, my pants keep falling off. I need a smaller size frowny face. I fucking hate everyone in America is just like eating pizza and donuts and cannot relate to that problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Harris Whittles]

At all.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Harris Whittles]

So why put it out there into. On the Internet?

[Adam Carolla]

What is. I mean, there's a male. There's a kind of a male version of that. There's a. Shit.

[Brian Bishop]

I can't find a condom that fits like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's that. Yeah, that's pretty good. There's.

[Harris Whittles]

There's a woman, a porn star in here that says, I can't find a dildo. That's big enough, she says.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how much bragging. There's a version. There's a super stud version of this where their thighs are really muscular, but they have no waist, so it's hard to find pants because they get like a 29 or 30, but they can't. Their thighs don't fit into it. Like, that's like one of those super fucking studly.

[Harris Whittles]

Right.

[Mike Dawson]

Suddenly it's the picture of self in the gym mirror, which you see, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. There's also the one where it's like the shirts, like, the cut. They cut me off at the bicep. Like they're all too tight around the bicep. You know, those. Those kind of. Those kind of ones.

[Harris Whittles]

Right. I can only wear gaucho pants from Fogo to chow. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, now we're talking. Oh, fucking love that Fogo.

[Mike Dawson]

I was reading through the book before the show. The thing Harris is not giving us all credit for is all of the humble brags. I'm pretty sure all of them had his little commentary at the end. So it's not just the funny humble brag.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Harris?

[Harris Whittles]

Well, that was the thing the editor said. Why. Why write a book about this if you. If these are all on Twitter? So a lot of which he was completely right about. So I had to put all these catty remarks in afterwards, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

You have.

[Mike Dawson]

Right there. By the way. Editor forced me to make hilarious.

[Harris Whittles]

Listen, no one. Yeah, guilty.

[Adam Carolla]

You've. You've had a sitcom picked up by abc.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah, just recently with Greg Daniels. Greg Daniels is producing, who, you know, created Parks and Rec, which I now.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Harris Whittles]

You were in an Offerman woodshop.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, right, right. Nick Offerman. Yeah.

[Harris Whittles]

And. And it stars Brian Baumgartner, who is. Plays Kevin, the big, you know, fat, bald, dumb guy on the Office.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harris Whittles]

And so, yeah, there's a bunch of people from the Office that are going off and trying to prolong a, you know, TV career. And this is.

[Brian Bishop]

What's it about?

[Harris Whittles]

This is about a guy who works at his customer service supervisor at Delta Airlines in. At the Hartsfield Jackson Airport in Atlanta.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're allowed to call it Delta?

[Harris Whittles]

Well, no, but that'll be a thing that we worry about later.

[Adam Carolla]

Now.

[Harris Whittles]

We just want to get the show made now.

[Adam Carolla]

Later. Later. It's gonna be good because we're gonna.

[Harris Whittles]

Come up with a new name. An airline doesn't exist.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes.

[Harris Whittles]

And then work at an airport.

[Adam Carolla]

Lots of conversations with legal where you go, what's the guy's name. And you go, the guy's name is Stu. And then they go, what's his last name? And you go, well, we never really mention it. Well, you do say his mom's last name is Jackson, right? So his name is Stu Jackson. Yeah. Well, it turns out there's three people named Stu Jackson who live in the area, so you can't go with Stu Jackson. And then I always go, what are they gonna do, sue you? By the way, why aren't they suing each other right now there's three of them. They should be going at it. Some kind of fucking loser leaves town, cage match or something. No, you can't use it now and then. Then there's stuff like this. There's all the great law like stuff where they go, if there were like a hundred Stu Jackson's, you could use Stu Jackson, right? What's the or no, Stu Jackson's you. But if there's three, you can't use a stooge. So then you have to fucking just randomly start changing the names of the guys. And you got used to calling that character by that name. And all this fucking retarded shit that never ends from legal. So be prepared to be completely demoralized.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah, I know. You know from just working at parks that we can't clear any name in Indiana. The names that don't clear are ridiculous sometimes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there's no way.

[Harris Whittles]

There's a guy named Torch Glavitz, right? South Bend.

[Adam Carolla]

And then they. Then they do this one. They do this one too. They do this one where they go. You go, all right, so fucking. The guy's name is Stu Jackson. So what? So what are we saying? We're not doing anything. There's another human being named Stu Jackson. I mean, the guy probably think it's cool. What's the big deal? Oh, he can sue. And then you go, sue over what? Like, what are we doing that sue? I'm suing you because you got me laid because you made a sitcom with my name in it. And then they pause and they go, listen, anybody can sue over anything at any time. And then you go, good, then what the fuck are we talking about? I'm gonna sue you for wasting my time. All right? If anyone can sue anyone, then. Then it's this fucking game on True.

[Harris Whittles]

It's ridiculous. I had to take out a big insurance policy on this book because any of these people can. I didn't clear any of this. I don't know if this is legal still to my lawyers didn't know. No one Knows there's like, well, we'll see what happens.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, listen, I'm making Mangria in the sink of an apartment in Encino, so believe me, I know about Legal action. Yeah, my son in my sitcom was, you don't need to get. Mike puts notes up for me to read, but then he gets rid of them and replaces them with nothing. So you can leave it up there till you got something better. Yeah, his name was Nate for a thousand years. And then he had to get changed. His name had to be changed to Eddie. Except for I got used to calling him Nate so I'd be like, Nate. And then his name's not Nate anymore, it's now Eddie because there was some guy named Nate that had the last name of this guy. And it's like, who gives a fuck? And also, it's like in the area you live in. And it's just a bunch of lawyers researching a bunch of fucking nothing. As I've told you many times, Crank Yankers was called Prank Puppets. And the lawyers at Comedy Central went nuts and said, you can't call Prank Puppets.

[Harris Whittles]

Why? Is there another show called Prank Puppets?

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no, no, no. This. This. This shows malice.

[Harris Whittles]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

And if it ever got anyone ever sued us with the name Prank Puppets, they would somehow Prank Shows Malice, and then we would lose for sure because of the name. And I told the stupid lawyers, you should hope they bring up Prank when.

[Harris Whittles]

They'Re talking about whatever, fake and not real.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Harris Whittles]

Funny, right? Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And they did the absolutely not. And then they do the huge lie, the fucking mammoth lie that they do and they're going to do to you, so be prepared for this. Where they go, like, listen, I thought it could be a problem, but I didn't know. So I went down the hall and I talked to Irv Jackman and Irvine. Hit the floor. Hit the floor. When I told him, it's like, Irv. Irv did. Really? You really went down the fucking hole.

[Harris Whittles]

There's no Irv Jack.

[Adam Carolla]

Irv went, oh, really? Irv went like, oh, no way are they going to call that show Prank Puppets, right? Oh, it's so fucking maddening. And you'll never win. And then someone next to you just, you know, just go, fuck it. Just fucking move on.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Come up with a new name.

[Harris Whittles]

Well, can you call Nate and wherever the fuck and ask him, can we use your name? They never think to do that.

[Adam Carolla]

They'll never do that. And then at a certain point, right before you go on, I think this was. When did Cinco De Maya Angelou. Call us.

[Harris Whittles]

That was the NBC pilot.

[Adam Carolla]

That was NBC. We get on the phone about, I don't know, a day before we were shooting with a chick who sounded like David Alan Grier was doing Harriet Tubman and Maya Angelou at the same time. And she got on the phone with us and she was like the head of, you know, I don't know, fucking urban diversity or something, and started just yelling at us about extra daro, extra daro. She was like, you can't call somebody Mexican. And I'm like, well, you can call them German, right? Yeah. You can call them Italian. Yeah. Why is Mexican a pejorative? Unless you're racist, by the way? Because you're the one that's not an insult. Calling someone who's Mexican Jew sounds insulting.

[Harris Whittles]

But it's not right.

[Adam Carolla]

But they are. It's accurate, so it's fine. Then they went on. So she gave us a whole big dressing down about what we could do and what we couldn't do and what wasn't gonna be acceptable. And I just started calling her Cinco de Mayo Angelou because she sounded like Maya Angelou. But she just talked about Mexicans nonstop. Fucking Mexican talk. It was nothing but Mexican talk. And she was explaining how Southland fucked up. Like they screwed up royally the show Southland because they had Hispanic cops, like detectives, but instead of calling the guy Detective Hernandez, they just called him Johnny. And they dropped the ball because he was Hispanic. And if just calling him Inspector or Detective Hernandez, that would have been huge. But they made the huge mistake of calling him by his first name. And thus they got no Mexican. No.

[Harris Whittles]

Oh, that's point.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, McCreddick, you know what I mean?

[Harris Whittles]

That's a thing that I got.

[Adam Carolla]

No Brown credits.

[Mike Dawson]

Mexicredits.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? And then I was like, you realize how insanely racist this whole fucking conversation is? And every single network has to have a black woman and head of diversity. Whatever. You can't. You can't have a. You can't have a guy who looks like Conan O'Brien do it. God forbid a white guy just deliver a message. You have to have someone who looks like the shit, right? They're talking about. Like, if they had someone in charge of talking about basketball, they'd need a seven footer to talk to you over the phone, otherwise the message wouldn't come through. So. And then they get super preachy, and then they just talk about diversity and they don't realize just how fucked up and racist their whole conversation is.

[Brian Bishop]

I love the idea that there Might be a head of basketball at NBC.

[Adam Carolla]

He'd have to be at least 6, 8. Otherwise there'd be no MA. Paul Simon could not deliver that mess.

[Brian Bishop]

Wouldn't be believable.

[Mike Dawson]

I'm Brian Scalabrini. Get over here, Brian.

[Harris Whittles]

Let me put you up against the.

[Mike Dawson]

Wall and measure you. Pretty sure you're six'eleven It's.

[Adam Carolla]

So now they give you that conversation like a week before, or actually it was a day and a half before we. Or like a day before we start shooting. And they just go through the script, they go like, we don't like this and we don't like that. And it's like, well, it's a little late for this. We're shooting.

[Brian Bishop]

Do it so late.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they're fuck ups and they're fuck ups who don't have a boss, you see, they don't. The head of the network, scared of them. They have to have total autonomy. They can't put any pressure on them or tell them, hey, just let them go or leave the script alone or whatever. They can't have a boss because that's not going to play, right. They have to be sort of, I don't know, they have to be like officials. It's not, it's not like, well, either team is their boss, right? They're just out there making the calls. So they just do whatever the fuck they want. And they act like it too. Like her attitude was shitty all the way through the fucking phone call. Eventually I just told her, look, we're going to do what we're going to do and you can go fucking figure it out later.

[Harris Whittles]

By the way, just a nice side note, this was after you wanted to cast your actual Nicaraguan friend Oswaldo as your Nicaraguan friend Oswaldo, and you got forced to cast a clearly Puerto Rican.

[Adam Carolla]

Guy who did not fit the part, right? And it was also told to us by the idiots who produced the show that we couldn't call Oswaldo Oswaldo. And I said, but that's his name. And they said, yeah, but you can't.

[Harris Whittles]

Use it because it's his name and he's real.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they were just assholes and they wanted to argue with us. So this is one of the one times actually went to one of the lawyers or one of the producers and went. One of the. One of the network people went, I don't get why can't call the fucking guy by his real name. And they finally said, yes, but this was just Berman Braun just fucking arguing with us the whole time. Total dicks. So It'll be. It'll good. Because otherwise it'll be a fucking. It'll be disaster anyway. But this will be a super disaster.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah, I don't.

[Adam Carolla]

It would have been. It would have been. Yeah. No, no. Lower those expectations. You're going nowhere. But if you can get through all of that and then you can get a couple good seasons under your belt, then eventually, magically, they stop talking and you don't have to listen to them, and the product just gets better. It's a weird thing, but at a certain point, you get enough juice at the beginning, they'll talk as much as you have to listen, even if they don't have notes. Network producers, whoever you're working with.

[Harris Whittles]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So that's the way to work.

[Harris Whittles]

And I've been on the two shows that I've written on, have just kind of like, eked by season two season. Sarah Silverman show.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Harris Whittles]

Which, you know, we got to three seasons somehow.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Well, it's a good show.

[Harris Whittles]

It was a good show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah. But just, like, ratings weren't great the whole time. So they were still getting this notes up until the end, pretty much.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Harris Whittles]

And then Parks were still trying to find an audience somehow. It's about to be season five.

[Adam Carolla]

It's nice to be in season five and try to find an audience.

[Harris Whittles]

But we just. Yeah, we didn't even.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the thing. The thing. The whole reason to have ratings is not to have to listen to people. That's the message. Because when you don't have great ratings, you get notes. When you have great ratings, you don't get notes. And that's it. And it doesn't matter how much funnier or how much better written your show is than Two and a Half Men. If Two and a Half Men's doing well, they don't get notes. And if you're not doing well, you get notes by dumb people who don't know comedy and might just be giving notes just to kind of flex their muscle. Sure.

[Harris Whittles]

This is where I have to go silent because I still am employed.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. You'll enjoy all the dumb people and all their fucking horrible, horrible notes. All right, we are going to do a little news first. Here's some news. Legal zoom, baby. Oh, yeah. You want to incorporate. You got a business? You want to start an llc? How about an S Corp? That's right. All the stuff I'd never heard of 10 years ago and now I'm an expert at. You want to do that? How about a will? How about a Living Trust? How about it Baby, how about you protect your family? You need an attorney to guide you along. For affordable legal protection you can trust, use LegalZoom. LegalZoom.com LegalZoom is not a law firm. You can get self help services at your specific direction or speak with a legal plan attorney to personalize your document and get ongoing advice for more savings. Enter Adam in the referral box at checkout legalzoom.com all right, should we do a little news? Allison Rosen. The news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with zip it cut. It's Allison Allison.

[Brian Bishop]

Daylight Savings Time officially over. Unless you're a resident of Hawaii, some of or most of Arizona and some US Territories. What did you guys do with your extra hour?

[Adam Carolla]

I do the same thing I always do, which is I just sleep and then I have the one clock that changes automatically and then the other clock that doesn't change. And I'm not sure which ones do it automatically anymore. That's why everyone needs one of the old school ones to just hang it on the wall or one with the battery in it hanging on the wall with the big hand and the little hand. Because I always get a little bit, little bit confused. But I said, and this is a nice move for everybody. Set your clock for exactly the time it is right now. Just set it. Don't do the. This one's two minutes fast and that one's three minutes slow. It'll fuck you up. I told my wife I call radio stations all morning long. I have to know exactly what it is. Just fucking put it right on. Just. We're all adults. Let's be realistic.

[Harris Whittles]

How does my car clock get off?

[Adam Carolla]

Somehow, though, mine does too.

[Harris Whittles]

Why does that. I do set it for the time it is and invariably two months later, it's two minutes slow.

[Adam Carolla]

It's always slow, too.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Or right. But it doesn't. It. Whatever the direction it goes in, it's the direction it makes you late.

[Harris Whittles]

Absolutely. So, yes, it would be slow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. But it happens to me every time, too. Mike, do you have. I just want to tell you and talk about this this weekend, but the. A year ago, maybe it was two years ago. I clipped. I always laugh about the USA Today and they're fucking horrible snapshots because they have all this fucking little stupid things.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, they're infographics.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And they always piss me off because it's like they do the favorite food, comfort food, and there's always the asshole. Da Bombs. Don't know. And I always say, look, you got nothing. Put a picture of a missing kid when you have nothing. This like, I would always yell this at Peanuts. And Charles Schultz. Like, I'd read his fucking thing and go, well, this is horrible. This is unfunny. This is nothing of nothing. Put missing kids here and just say we got nothing. Instead of confusing me with your horrible brand of humor. This is something I found last year. How will you use the hour gained with the end of daylight savings time? Sleep, do chores. I like that one. Read, watch TV or movie. I like that one. I like to visit with friends.

[Brian Bishop]

Just for one hour, though. It's a very quick visit.

[Adam Carolla]

And what's it saying to that person? Like, how tight really are you?

[Harris Whittles]

Except if this didn't happen, I wouldn't be visiting with you right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And I always the one that says, do chores. I know the guy's wife was standing next to him and he was like, jack, do chores. Yeah, do chores. And not even the next day, like at 2:30 in the morning on Saturday. I'll get out of that fucking weed whacker. 2:00am yeah, I'll hit it right then. Yeah, yeah. This is hard hitting investigative journalism, everybody. What are you gonna do with that hour? The honest ones just said sleep. Let's be honest.

[Brian Bishop]

See, I was thinking this is really the first year that I was aware that there was only one or two clocks that I needed to change. Everything else I used to see what time it is. Like my phone and the cable box, they just change automatically.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

So, yeah. I still think this time manipulation is bullshit though.

[Adam Carolla]

They do in Arizona. And I don't really think we need it anymore.

[Brian Bishop]

I didn't get any extra farming done last season.

[Adam Carolla]

I had very little tilling of soil done. Very little.

[Brian Bishop]

I guess that's our fault though. But the power back on in downtown Manhattan. And I know you're going there next week, Adam, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. No, I got an email from James Baby Doll Dixon, my agent today and I had a fucking. I had like one of these conversations with him like four or five months ago where he's like. He's one of these guys who just. He's always doing improvements to his house. He lives in Manhasset, Mufasin, I don't know, wherever the fucking Baldwin brothers grew up. Yeah. And yeah, you know, it's all that talk about lacrosse. People need to Tell people on the east coast that people on the west coast don't give a fuck about lacrosse. We think that's a Buick. We don't even know it's a fucking sport. And anytime I see white guys excelling at sports and not sport, to me.

[Harris Whittles]

I just know that Maryland is good at it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but guys running around on like shoulder pads, and then it's like running behind the net and like throwing it. It never looks very impressive to me.

[Brian Bishop]

Are you from a lacrosse playing?

[Harris Whittles]

I'm from Houston, Texas, and I did play lacrosse in eighth grade on a team. And we were awful.

[Adam Carolla]

So I told him, I said, listen, baby doll, you got a nice big spread over there. And he's talking about doing renovations and doing this and doing that. Somehow a generator comes up. And I was like, look, you get a generator, you get a generator. I'm not talking about the ones you pull with the, with the rip cord and plug the shit in. And, you know, I'm talking about an industrial size, like a commercial grade generator. And it's expensive for people that don't have money. But if you're doing okay, it ain't much. It's, you know, I don't know, three grand, whatever. It's a generator. It's the size of a refrigerator box or something on its side. You pipe natural gas into it so you don't have to fill up a gas tank. In other words, it'll fire up once a month just on its own, just to kind of keep things lubricated and, you know, the joints, joints moving around. And then you have an electrician and you pick, you know, x amount of breakers for, depending on what size you get. You can get a whole house size one, but that's, that's big. You can get a medium sized one and go, look, keep the refrigerator on, keep the TV set on, keep the upstairs bedroom lights on. You pick like seven, eight circuits. It'll be hooked up. It's all hooked up. And that's. That's the end of that. And I said, oh, baby, that's what you got to do. And then we got into it. Like, I got into detail and I told him which one to buy and all that kind of shit. Then I got an email from him today. I love a good email, where a guy goes, fuck it. God fucking damn it. And you think they're pissed off at something. And then he's like, I'm such an asshole. I should have listened to you about this generator thing. Fuck.

[Harris Whittles]

Wait, so maybe I missed it, but why did you Tell him five months ago to get one. Just to have. Just. I try to avoid coming.

[Adam Carolla]

I try to avoid intimate discussions and topics. You know, kids, family.

[Harris Whittles]

Sure, sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Relationships, stuff like that.

[Brian Bishop]

If you know him long enough, eventually you'll have the generator conversation with him too.

[Harris Whittles]

You just think in case of disaster, any disaster. You didn't think that New York was like due for a hurricane?

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, well, I know God hates them because you know their lifestyle, right?

[Harris Whittles]

You know, Right, right. Gays in the Jews.

[Adam Carolla]

Sometimes there's gays. Jews, no. Hell yeah. Oh yeah. That's the fucking double rabbi.

[Harris Whittles]

Son was gay growing, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He accepted him shrink one and two. Oh, by the way, they always say they accept them where they're going to go.

[Harris Whittles]

Right, right.

[Adam Carolla]

I rejected the liar. You don't. Alright, so I just said, as long as you're pouring money into your renovation, here's what you should do. And anybody who's doing that should go ahead and toss one of these on.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you have one?

[Adam Carolla]

I have one. Actually, to be more accurate, I had one. I disconnected it to do a renovation and I have to reconnect it. So I'm guilty as well. But they are not as guilty, but partially guilty for not reconnecting it. But they do, like I said, they hook up to natural gas, they fire up on their own. And again, you pick for me. I was like, I started with the TV set and then moved to another TV set. Eventually somebody said, what about your kids room? And I was like, does that have a TV set? But I knew, look, I can get by with no power as long as I have a fucking refrigerator and a TV set. Yeah, I don't even know. I won't know.

[Brian Bishop]

Important things now. If you were the only house that had a generator and you were in a community and everyone lost power, but you still had power because your generator, when you ran into people, would you pretend that you were also suffering?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I would go like when they wanted to know where I was going. And meanwhile I was just going to get more batteries for my universal remote. I'd be like, I'm on a candle and lard run. Why? Fucking horrible.

[Mike Dawson]

Are you eating an ice cream cone?

[Adam Carolla]

Where'd you take that from? What?

[Mike Dawson]

How are we here in days?

[Adam Carolla]

I bought this off dead Mexican in the van. This not from my refrigerator? That's what you're asking.

[Mike Dawson]

The napkin around the base says Corolla Christmas party 2012.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know what we had? Have you heard of blue ice in a freezer? We had a situation where we had so much ice built up that actually this is just part of the thawing process. But if you're asking me if my refrigerator is up and running, no, it is not.

[Mike Dawson]

I'm being deceptive.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you can check. Yes, the light will come on if you open the door, but that.

[Mike Dawson]

Isn't that a dead giveaway that it works?

[Adam Carolla]

My God, I have swelling food.

[Mike Dawson]

My children are starving.

[Adam Carolla]

No, that's just a psychological thing that runs off a 9 volt. Oh, that's just so it feels like it's working.

[Mike Dawson]

Well, don't I have egg on my face now.

[Adam Carolla]

Refrigerators out. Yeah. No, we got nothing. Don't come by. We're good.

[Mike Dawson]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Mike Dawson]

At least have a head off that ice cream.

[Adam Carolla]

And no, you can't. And let me say this too, because I know you sometimes say you can. You can. You can hear what's going on in my house or from your house.

[Mike Dawson]

Yeah, yeah, we're very close.

[Adam Carolla]

My wife does a spot on impersonation of Chris Berman. Okay. So if you hear it's only a flickering candle and my wife boutting off about what went on, that explains the backpack. Yeah, she calls it the cheers.

[Mike Dawson]

She knows a lot about NFL football.

[Adam Carolla]

She cheered in high school. So that'll be that.

[Mike Dawson]

This explains so much. And again, I can't have a taste of the ice cream.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no. All right, fair enough.

[Mike Dawson]

See you in the bread line.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

And Bloomberg canceled the marathon after people were outraged because it appeared that they were gonna go on with the marathon. People were like, isn't our energy better focused elsewhere? Some joggers were upset.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I like when there's a lot of. Like, they'll be stepping over corpses. Like, I like when there's a. Like when they get into the serious hyperbole while they're running across the, you know, Brooklyn Bridge will be fishing fetuses out of the bay. Like, I like how they do that kind of stuff. Like, my old thing is like, I do that thing where it's kind of like, yeah, maybe you shouldn't. And then someone says, hey, this just says, we persevere. We go on, we move forward. Then you go, yeah, okay. Like, you probably shouldn't have too strong an opinion one way or the other.

[Brian Bishop]

Unless you jog, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

Unless you jog. But in general, I hate people who prove anything to themselves. And that's what marathoners do.

[Harris Whittles]

People even ran it anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they did.

[Harris Whittles]

A lot of people just were like, well, we're still gonna run 26 miles. Who cares?

[Adam Carolla]

Hate those People.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Hate those people.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, this really impacts.

[Harris Whittles]

There's dead bodies everywhere. Come on, guys.

[Adam Carolla]

The Kenyans. Because they don't have.

[Harris Whittles]

Right. Like, this is their one time.

[Adam Carolla]

This is their thing. Yeah. It's not like. Well, we manufacture a lot of those. We do, like, solid rocket pod boosters for the space program, and we do cross country, or we make a fantastic luxury automobile, and we win. They pretty much have one Christmas.

[Harris Whittles]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

It's called a marathon. That's what they do. So this is. This is really toughest on Kenya.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah, this flood was definitely the worst on Kenya, the whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

They should just go ahead and it is, because not only are they not winning, not only are they not winning anything, but they could probably use some water for some of their scorched crops. You know what I'm saying? So the whole reason your countrymen aren't winning a marathon is because we have too much water.

[Mike Dawson]

That's an awkward phone call home to Kenya.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Let me talk to Kenya.

[Harris Whittles]

An abundance of water. Can't run the risk.

[Mike Dawson]

You can't run because there's too much water.

[Adam Carolla]

Too much water. Yeah. And that thing that's never on. Well, it's off, and we can't do without it. Although you guys have learned.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, now, if you were going to train. If you train for the marathon, is it a requisite that you have to tweet about your progress? Because those are. Those are not humble brags. Those are some of my least favorite.

[Harris Whittles]

A lot of them are humble brags.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think anyone should train for a marathon. I think it's like training to be raped. I think you just get through it and start running. Yeah. You just fucking go. Just start running.

[Brian Bishop]

That is how you train to be raped a witch.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true. Yeah. I mean, just have a fucking shot of Jack and just see how far you can get in street shoes.

[Harris Whittles]

My parents ran a marathon once, and my mom did together, and my dad didn't. My dad made it about a mile, and my mom finished, so kind of pokes holes in that.

[Adam Carolla]

I still think I could hang with your dad more easily than your mom. And we have more to talk about.

[Harris Whittles]

He likes Jack a lot more.

[Adam Carolla]

He. He didn't train for the marathon.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

No, he just started running. He's got a terrible build, and. And. But. But they did it as a couple.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah, they. They ran it as a couple. They started it. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I'd like to. I'd like to. I'd like to check that Out. I mean, I, I, there's something I find interesting about that. It's also one of those.

[Brian Bishop]

What people who do a marathon as a couple.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you, you realize you come from a horrible family because whenever anyone talks about, you know, vacations or camping or, you know, oh, my folks, every year we would get a cabin in Wisconsin and we'd go there and you go what? What, what? And what? It sounds so weird and foreign. And then you realize other people do normal things just because your family's a piece of shit. But running a marathon together, to anyone from my side of town, seems completely and utterly insane.

[Harris Whittles]

Oh, I had a couple that I was roommates with like a few years ago and they trained every day. Pretty much they got up at 5. I, it fucking drive me crazy when I would get up at 11 and coming back from running on the beach like eight miles.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Fucking hate those people. I hate them, I hate them. I, I want to. I had to be in the lobby in Vegas at about 6:30 to catch a flight on a Sunday morning after doing the, played a show the House of Blues and then drank a bunch of fucking Pinot noir and beers and got hungover and went to bed at 2 and then got up at 6 and then went down the lobby and I was surrounded by marathoners. Just like people running in place, checking their own pulse. Who. These people that are checking their own.

[Brian Bishop]

Seem so happy though. And I would like that, but I still don't want to do it.

[Adam Carolla]

And also these ones that are constantly timing, as soon as they take off, they're timing themselves and all that shit. I hate that.

[Harris Whittles]

It's not a real, it's people that were that have gone sober and have to, that's their new action.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what it is.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah. You either get in shape or you find God or.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Harris Whittles]

And I don't want to do either of those.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like a really active version of building a giant Lego thing.

[Adam Carolla]

They were. Or the worst, as I said many times, are the swimmers, the morning swimmers. Oh, we went, I got up, I get up at 5 and I go down to the wide. I do a couple of miles and I ba ba ba ba ba. And then I want to fucking choke him out when I go like, well, what happens like when you travel and you know, you go, you get into la, you get into New York or something like on a red eye and you don't get your room until like two still get up at five, still standing like, are you fucking nuts now? Are you nuts? And then they go, hey, you never feel more awake. Of course, you've been submerged in cold water for 90 minutes. Yeah, you're awake. You're pissed.

[Harris Whittles]

Sleep when you're dead. No, you won't. You're dead when you're dead. You know, I sleep when I'm alive.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what. I say that all the time. I want to nap. That's why I'm not taking any chances. You want to feel awake? Let me just kick you off a fucking crab boat. You'll feel awake when you fucking hit that icy water. You're not gonna be happy, but you'll be awake.

[Harris Whittles]

You can do some laps.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. Where the fuck were we?

[Brian Bishop]

A two year old boy visiting the Pittsburgh Zoo fell into an exhibit of African painted dogs.

[Adam Carolla]

I bet he was awake when he hit those hyenas. Right?

[Brian Bishop]

For a second. And then he was dead because the dogs instantly mauled him. But there's some question about whether he died from the impact or from the dogs. But like zookeepers, you know, called off the dogs and about seven of them left, you know, right away. And then three more of them they were able to pull off, I think. And then one of them just would not stop, so they had to shoot it. And these are endangered dogs, so someone's.

[Adam Carolla]

Got to talk to Africa after. Well, maybe when I'm talking to Kenya, I can get to the rest of the continent and go, how come everything that starts with your name, like, we got bees, ain't no problem. And then we got the African killer beast, you know, and then we got dogs, and then we got the African killer dogs. We got ants, and then we got your ants. He knows the theme. Like everything that comes from where your continent kills other shit, even there's benign versions of it everywhere else, but it comes from your fucking. I got a dog. She'd lick that kid to death.

[Harris Whittles]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean? And then take the nap. These dogs, which look to me like hyenas.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And I don't know how hyenas got that reputation for being sort of jovial when they're the fucking scariest animals on the planet.

[Harris Whittles]

Because, like the laughter. Laughter seems jovial.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But even that, they're not laughing. They're just fucking communicating so they can rip you to pieces. So the poor kid fell in.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. His mother had placed him on the railing to view the dogs and then he just fell. It's awful.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, isn't that. I mean, like kind of Michael Jackson style.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I think that she obviously shouldn't have placed him there.

[Adam Carolla]

Not, you know, do with the flamingos. Not the African killer dogs. So the painted dogs.

[Harris Whittles]

And maybe don't call them dogs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, maybe they don't like that.

[Harris Whittles]

Well, they just don't look like dogs. And they're clearly not dogs. They kill you. They're like wolves.

[Adam Carolla]

So. So they, they.

[Brian Bishop]

So the kid fell and. Yeah. Like they don't know whether he, they don't know yet whether he died from the impact of the fall because it.

[Adam Carolla]

Was 12ft or so onto the cement. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Or sorry, 11 foot fall. I don't know what the ground actually was.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, sometimes what they do is they have like these sort of weird pits, like before they get to it or whatever. Fucking sad. And the dogs just like tore him apart kind of thing.

[Brian Bishop]

They just instantly mauled him. You know, even. See, I think even a pack of poodles.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Would, would turn feral.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I thought you were talking about gay guys. You're talking about actual dogs.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, look, dogs have that pack mentality. I mean, have you read Twilight? It's a dog thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but I feel first off, like on one hand, poor mama, like really like you'd rather your kid just die of auto erotic asphyxiation than this. Cause like that fucking story.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Of like, hey, where's the three year old? Where's the little Sammy there? Long story. Like, like, I mean, this one has to like keep going. Like what hap. What happened? Mauled by a dog. Fucking people. They get these fucking pit bulls. They don't fucking chain them up. It's a little bit different. Took them to the zoo. Like how far before you get there? Well, and then you're gonna get this one. How do you get over the railing? I sat him up on there. Jesus Christ. All right.

[Brian Bishop]

John Cusack is developing a movie about Rush Limbaugh and he's going to play him, which is, as Gary said, they're gonna have to have a lot of special effects.

[Mike Dawson]

Young Rush, I don't think he.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't, I don't know if he's gonna be young or not.

[Adam Carolla]

I think that once in a while Cusack is one of these guys who wants to get fat, but he can't.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And I think once in a while they just take a role where they go find a fat famous guy. I'm gonna play that guy.

[Gina Grad]

Fucking.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm taking a year off.

[Brian Bishop]

Rush. John Goodman and the John Goodman Farley.

[Harris Whittles]

He would have been a good Rush. John Goodman also.

[Mike Dawson]

What's up with that Orson Welles project?

[Adam Carolla]

Is he still on Turnaround or he's also. What's going on? Cusack's hair has not. He's getting. It's getting a little dangerous with that hair because his hair has not made a move in a while.

[Mike Dawson]

He and Piven, I know they're buddies.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's a race to. The hair's getting darker and longer.

[Brian Bishop]

He is a candidate for the graying around the temples that would make it look more natural. Is that what you're saying?

[Harris Whittles]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Also, the weirdest thing ever. And I don't know. And I think there's some vanity the guy has, and I can't quite figure it out, but. But I was watching the movie 2012 or whatever that Mayan calendar thing was, and at some point.

[Harris Whittles]

And that's where he drives the limo.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Harris Whittles]

Across the canyon.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. He jumps the limo across Snake River Canyon and all that kind of stuff. It's one of those things where LA is crumbling behind him and he saves everybody. But there's one point where they show his driver's license and the date on his driver's license. John Cusack is in real life, like, my age.

[Brian Bishop]

He's 46.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I'm 48. So he's two years younger. And I don't know when his birthday is, but we're probably a year and a half apart.

[Brian Bishop]

He's a Sagittarius.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that I know because we're compatible. His driver's license in 2012. So he should be. So it's 2012 now. So he should be 46 or 40. 47. His driver's license says that he was born in 79.

[Mike Dawson]

Why make him one year younger than me?

[Adam Carolla]

Why would he be born in 79 when he's a dad of. He's a dad of two children and it's 2012. It's not 2031, it's 2012. 79 makes him 33 in the movie 2012. 12. Why did they do that? Like, I was looking at it the whole time.

[Harris Whittles]

It was supposed to be another actor at some point.

[Adam Carolla]

Did he get involved? Props guys are fucking.

[Harris Whittles]

That's just our department.

[Adam Carolla]

Our department. Men and women are horrible, horrible, horrible at what they do. Shoot one movie with all these guys and be bitterly disappointed. And you go, did you read the script?

[Harris Whittles]

And I thought it would be funny to do this.

[Adam Carolla]

They do that. They do my famous one from my movie the Hammer, where the script says, the guy holds up a pillowcase size sack of peanuts and the guy hands me a brown paper bag that's as big as my hand with peanuts in it. And he goes, that's what we got. And I said, what about the pillowcase size sack of peanuts? And he goes, they don't make peanuts in a pillowcase. But anyway, here's your peanuts in this brown bag where you can't see the peanuts. And I said, it doesn't read. And then we start the argument, right? Anyway, Brian, sorry, there's. You know what?

[Mike Dawson]

I never thought of it till just now, but he. When he was promoting High Fidelity, he went on TRL. MTV was really popular at the time. Like 2000 or ever. It was. He couldn't have looked more out of place. It was awkward. He was like the old guy who was at the, like the teenage party. And Carson Daly's like, hey, tell us about your movie. And it's screaming teenagers. And it was so. I wonder if there's a weird with the hair and with this thing. There's enough evidence. It's like a weird age. Kind of fear of getting old kind of thing. I just saw that the first time because that was. That stuck in my mind. It's so awkward when he's on trl.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I understand shaving five years or whatever. Years off the actor. But saying you're born in 79 when Kuzak may have been just going into high school at 79 is a little bit of a leap. When the movies 2012, there's a certain.

[Harris Whittles]

Age that you have to Clooney it and you have to go old and accept it and own it. It looks distinguished and good, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

You'll still get your dick sucked. Do not worry. Also, I'm the worst guy in the world to watch 2012. Because they're building. Spoiler alert. They're building these big arcs, you know, because the end of the world was coming. And then they had the super preachy scientist. It was like, why these people? Why just these? Why the educated? Why the scientists? Why the millionaires? And it's like, because we only had enough room on these arks for people who paid $10 million. And we used their $10 million to build the arks. That's why they're on here and we can only save. And he said, why not everybody? And it's like, not enough room on the fucking ark for everybody. And the way you build the ark is you pay. And it's like, I say, if this ark is good for a millionaire, then it's good for a hobo. And I'm like, that's not how ark hobos don't build Arks, number one. Number two, I do want the people with the money and the scientists and everyone, like, repopulating after. I don't want the fucking alcoholics who sleep in the refrigerator boxes. And we don't need to save their seed. But it was a totally preachy movie about nothing. Like someone. Look, we have the entire world's populace here. There's six billion people. We have four arks. We can hold 250,000 people. Now, who would you like to put on the ark? Just first come, first serve. And then who pays for the ark? And how does it work?

[Brian Bishop]

Serious question. When does a boat become an ark?

[Adam Carolla]

When it saves lives.

[Brian Bishop]

And Betty Thomas, who did Private Parts, is going to be directing it, most likely. And it is supposed to be a nonpartisan version of Rush Limbaugh.

[Adam Carolla]

Rejoice. Ditto. Heads.

[Mike Dawson]

Is there an over Under A number of times. Rush says he's not gonna see it because all the guys who have movies made about them. The thing is, I'm not gonna see it. I'm not interested in seeing that movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Mike Dawson]

There's a movie made about your life starring John Cusack. You're not gonna see that?

[Adam Carolla]

If it's flattering, they'll see it. If it's not, they won't. And then when they write books about them, they don't see it or read it either.

[Harris Whittles]

If they did a flattering version of it, it would have to be like Kid Rock that plays him or someone endorses him.

[Mike Dawson]

Hulk Hogan.

[Harris Whittles]

Hogan or Rock.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah. Vistaprint. Vistaprint.com Harris, I have a question for you.

[Harris Whittles]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, I don't want to hear the Mangria talking here. I just want to hear. This is you. I want to hear you talking. What if I asked you 250 top quality business cards? 250 top quality business cards. And customize. You can upload your own artwork. You can choose from thousands of designs. 250 top quality business cards. Professional business cards. Not like the ones that are written with crayon. How much? How much for 250 top quality business cards?

[Harris Whittles]

Probably, what, a thousand dollars?

[Mike Dawson]

You have to belittle the guest.

[Adam Carolla]

No way, dude. And we've had people that have been off on this show.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Harris Whittles]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

But not that far off. No way.

[Harris Whittles]

That country. 50.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No. $4 an off. We've had Wheel of It off. But you, you want to try again? Because I'll give you another try because that was way off.

[Harris Whittles]

Can't imagine $2,000.

[Adam Carolla]

He's going the other way. He Went the other way.

[Mike Dawson]

He's not gonna want to keep trying if you keep reacting like.

[Adam Carolla]

But he went the other way.

[Harris Whittles]

It's more than that. This is a terrible deal.

[Adam Carolla]

You know it? Oh, it's. You know, you're doing right now what you are the guy with the pith helmet who found his way to the quicksand.

[Harris Whittles]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're struggling, right?

[Harris Whittles]

How do I get out?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you're struggling. You're getting deeper, man.

[Mike Dawson]

No, throw him a vine.

[Adam Carolla]

How much?

[Harris Whittles]

Just tell me how much.

[Adam Carolla]

$10 vine. 10.

[Harris Whittles]

10 bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

10 bucks? How?

[Big J Okerson]

Where?

[Adam Carolla]

How, where? I'll tell you where. Vistaprint.com. how? Type in ace in the upper right hand corner. 250 premium business cards for just $10. Plus you got hold of the vine.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because I'm flinging you to safety now. Free shipping.

[Harris Whittles]

Oof.

[Adam Carolla]

You out.

[Harris Whittles]

This feels good.

[Adam Carolla]

And then somewhere in the next scene, clean. I feel like if I was dipped up to my forehead in killer mud, you'd A, see it on me for the next several hours and B, you' stop me complaining. Oh, my fucking ass cheeks are on fire. Right. You understand? It's like someone's taking 60 grit sandpaper to my balls. Every step is like someone took a random orbital sander to my cock and balls.

[Mike Dawson]

Help us wrangle these horses, would you please?

[Adam Carolla]

You understand what my balls feel like right now? I feel like some insane demonic pool man dumped diatomaceous earth down my underpants and fucking put my ball sack on a paint can shaker. Do you understand that?

[Mike Dawson]

So that's a no for the horse.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you know what an oscillating spindle sander is?

[Mike Dawson]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you know what a drum sander is? Do you know what a belt sander is?

[Mike Dawson]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you know what a disc sander is?

[Mike Dawson]

That. No.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you know what a die grinder is?

[Mike Dawson]

The horses are already in.

[Adam Carolla]

We're sorry. I know a lot of Sanders.

[Brian Bishop]

Brian mentioned Hulk Hogan and I have a story about Hulk Hogan, which is that he settled his lawsuit against Bubba the Love Sponge, but he's still suing Gawker and Bubba's ex wife, Heather Clem.

[Harris Whittles]

Now there's nothing greater than that video.

[Adam Carolla]

Have you seen it?

[Brian Bishop]

I haven't seen it.

[Harris Whittles]

I've seen it.

[Adam Carolla]

Really great.

[Brian Bishop]

How?

[Harris Whittles]

Mostly like 10 minutes of him going, oh, I can't believe we just did that. I just ate so much I feel like a fucking pig. It's just like, really? It's old Hulk.

[Adam Carolla]

After.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah, after doing the deed. Just can't handle it. And Then he's like, fuck, I gotta get out of here. You're awesome. And she's like, you're awesome. And then that's what he says to a girl as he leaves the room.

[Brian Bishop]

So then do you think if he had been, like, a porn star, he wouldn't be so upset about the video being out?

[Harris Whittles]

I mean, I don't. I don't know why. I guess it makes him look. Yeah. Like. Like he's kind of out of shape and it's not that hot of a porn video.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Harris Whittles]

And he, like, stops to answer the phone and see it. He's like, I think this is. Might be my son calling. And it's his daughter's. It's his daughter's song is playing. That's his ringtone as he's, like, having sex. It's very weird and gross. It's not a great video. I mean, it's great because it's funny.

[Brian Bishop]

What position or positions?

[Harris Whittles]

Well, the video that I saw, which is Gawker, only shows, like, a blowjob where he's standing and she's on the bed, and then she's on top for the sex.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw just a few minutes when he actually tapped out. And Ted Dibiase, the Million Dollar man, came in and mopped up.

[Mike Dawson]

It was. Especially when virtual, his man serve, was right there.

[Harris Whittles]

Ted Dibiase, he was a million dollar man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Teddy.

[Mike Dawson]

And he had Virgil D'Manson, that huge black guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And then toward the end, the Honk Tonk man came in.

[Mike Dawson]

Brained him with a guitar.

[Adam Carolla]

Who knew he'd hit someone with that acoustic guitar? You just could have never fucking seen that one coming.

[Mike Dawson]

I thought he was due to not hit someone with a guitar, so I was betting he wouldn't.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if the black man servant would go over well today. Do you think that would work? It would be as effective in today's social.

[Harris Whittles]

I think we're so far in equality that you can do that again.

[Adam Carolla]

We can step back and we'll still be all right.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah. On TV and movies, there was a point where every judge was black.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, black females. Yeah.

[Harris Whittles]

And I think that it's okay to not do that now. I think that we've gotten to that point also.

[Mike Dawson]

This is 1988. The million dollar man is not that impressive these days. Like, he's worth a million bucks. I mean, he's fighting the rock. That's worth a billion.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Harris Whittles]

Is that before taxes?

[Adam Carolla]

Exactly. All right, let's. Let's bring it on. One more story. What do we got.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, okay. Well, I sure do. Disney purchased Star or purchased LucasFilms for $4.05 billion and they'll be making the new Star wars films.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I say this about Lucas? Like, I, you know, there's parts of me where I think, oh, yeah, the guy's a genius. And then I go, yeah, but his last three movies suck. Like, so you know this.

[Brian Bishop]

Perhaps he felt that way too.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, didn't. How much. How involved was he in his last three films? And then total control. Total control. I mean, that's the whole thing. Like when you write and produce and direct and whatever. I mean, like when. When. When it is nothing but your kitchen and it's all of your ingredients and it's all of your. It's your crock pot, it's your spatula, it's everything that's in your cupboard. And the fucking stew tastes like shit. Do you get to be a Michelin rated chef forever? Like, at some point, do we. Do we get to taste your fucking broth and go, this guy makes shitty stuff.

[Harris Whittles]

Maybe if, like, yeah, maybe if one of the new Star wars was bad. Okay, right, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Three.

[Harris Whittles]

Like, all right.

[Adam Carolla]

And then did he do the last Raiders? Is that no. Spielberg? And then what the fuck's up with Spielberg? Why do guys who were formerly. How is it. I mean, this is. I got your next book. I like when people tell your next book. All right, Mom, I want to find out how the same guy who can do Saving Private Ryan or Schindler's List can do the last Raiders of the Last Ark.

[Harris Whittles]

They're not hungry anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

Or back to the kitchen.

[Mike Dawson]

Well, surrounding myself with no one who will tell.

[Harris Whittles]

No one.

[Mike Dawson]

No one on the spot. On the Spider, the Star wars said the last three films. Who said, George, maybe this isn't a good idea about anything.

[Harris Whittles]

But why are the ideas bad in the first place? It's because they have no one. They have no one to impress anymore. They've done it. They're not hungry, so care. They're not eating and breathing and sleeping. These scripts, you know, should he be.

[Adam Carolla]

Should we hail him as a genius or he's.

[Harris Whittles]

Here's why he's smart is because he's handing all these the next movies over to the next woman in charge. I forget what her name is, but she has.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Lucas wrote the story for Indiana.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Jones.

[Mike Dawson]

I doubt he pounded out a script. I think he was just here. You encounter some aliens?

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah. What is.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but still, I need to think. Frank, you can't just go that Spielberg?

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, what are you doing? Some fucking kind of retarded cahoots?

[Mike Dawson]

I'm on board with Lucas being rickahoots retoots.

[Harris Whittles]

I'm not a huge Star wars fan.

[Adam Carolla]

Those are shitty scripts. Like that last Indiana Jones script was fucking embarrassingly bad. It was just fucking horrible. And the last Star wars thing. So maybe Lucas is a shitty writer who can't write anymore.

[Harris Whittles]

That could be. Yeah. Or a hundred people wrote that. You know, it was written by a.

[Mike Dawson]

Committee, which also your theory makes sense because the strength of Star wars, the one we all know and love, was not the writing. It was a cool movie and had some cool effects for the time. And it was fun. It was, you know, sword and sorcery.

[Harris Whittles]

In the acting span.

[Brian Bishop]

Regardless, it would seem that his heart was clearly not in it and is not in it if he's willing to sell it.

[Harris Whittles]

Right, right.

[Brian Bishop]

And not have anything to do with it anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you what your heart should be in. Go to meeting. That's right. That's right. That's why I get the big bucks. They got creative solutions for you, man. You. You're away from your team. Your team spread out. Can't get the band back together. It's like the act two of the Blues brothers movie. There. There was a well written movie. Yeah, that's right. GoToMeeting with HD face is brought to you by Citrix. It's a simple way. You can meet, you can collaborate, you can take control of your peeps and you can do it in HD video. You can conference them and you can do it from your Mac, your PC or even the iPad. That's right. Allergic to good copy, are you, sweetie?

[Brian Bishop]

Evidently I am.

[Adam Carolla]

Start hosting online meetings today. Go to GoToMeeting Free. Free. 45 days free. Try it for free. Visit GoToMeeting.com Click on the Try it free button and use the promo code. Adam. All right, baby girl, let's bring it home.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the news. I'm Alison Rosenzip. ITCons. I can't find a condom that fits.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the news with Alison Rosen. Yeah. Harris Whittles, everybody. Humble brag, name of the book fun read and you can get it on Amazon. And like I said, man, click on through. If you're going to Amazon, hit our website. Hit the Amazon banner. Get Harris's book. Hell, get my book. What the hell? Shit, 7 bucks used such a deal. Website harriswittles.com w I t T e L s and you can twitter him or Tweet him if you like at twiddles. Aw, that's cute.

[Harris Whittles]

See that? See what I did there?

[Adam Carolla]

That is so cute. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Harris Whittles, Allison Rose and Sorry and Paul Brian saying mahalo.

[Harris Whittles]

I'm happy to be the thing that Japanese men jerk off to on the subway.

[Giovanni]

That was Adam Carlos Show 948 featuring late great Harris Whittles. One of the funniest human beings who's ever existed. And one of the greatest episodes of the Adam Carlos show. Totally crushed it. Rest in peace, Harris. Up next we have Adam krila show, also 3100 featuring Zubi, Peter North, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop. 2021. That's right. The decorator returns. Thankfully he didn't leave any decorations behind from his first visit, although they did redesign the set.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And now a totally innocuous word that sounds dirty when Mike Dawson says it.

[Adam Carolla]

Peter. Ew.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's get back to the Adam Carolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

Peter north, porn film legend, I think we would call him, retired, but has over 2,500 credits as an actor, 74 as a director. Good to see you again, my friend.

[Gina Grad]

Good to see you.

[Adam Carolla]

I was reading here you were in the, I don't know, is there golden age of porn? You know, like I always say to people, there was a golden age of heavyweight boxing. Yeah. People remember the midst of it.

[Gina Grad]

I get you on that. I think there was probably. I wasn't part of the 70s, but I think the 80s and 90s, everybody liked the 80s and 90s a lot more. And people are going back to that, that are watching these new films and stuff like that. They're going back to the vintage stuff. Yeah, that would be the golden age, basically, was it.

[Adam Carolla]

I grew up in the San Fernando Valley. I remember, you know, I went to the Sadie Hawkins dance with Christy Canyon's sister Carla. Well, she asked me was I gonna say no.

[Mike Dawson]

Carla Canyon.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she had an Armenian last name. I think as I recall, that was Indonesian. Yeah. So I remember like living here and when all this shit was going down in the 80s, where were you? You started off in Nova Scotia.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, basically Halifax, Nova Scotia. I came out here in 81, 82. It wasn't on my radar to get into anything in particular. I just came out with a two month return on my ticket. If I got a job within two months, I would stay. If I didn't, I'd be going back home. And I happened to get a job at the one of the Last Jack lalannes health clubs that existed and just went on from there, you know, different jobs from, you know, insect, you know, cleaning guy, and basically just sales for health clubs. And I just. There's so many jobs I did. But the thing is, I wasn't legal for the first part of the, you know, time I was down here, so I.

[Adam Carolla]

You were under 18?

[Gina Grad]

No, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And you didn't have a work visa?

[Gina Grad]

I didn't have a work visa.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't have a green card or work visa.

[Gina Grad]

So, yeah, I had to. Well, the amnesty came around at that time. Around, I think, 87, 88, 89. And I went through that and that, you know, they don't get any kind of back taxes or anything. They kind of just, you know, get you in and make sure they tax you for the rest of the time you're here.

[Adam Carolla]

So it says here you were discovered while modeling athletic wear at a private party in LA in the early 80s. And by the way, Peter put the jack in Jack LaLanne, by the way. Couldn't let that joke go by. What's the story behind that?

[Gina Grad]

Actually, it was. That's pretty correct. You know, in a way, there's more to that whole. There's a whole backstory to that and the do tell. And the people who were involved in that, you know, they. They were in. In the industry, but on the other side of the industry that we discussed, I think before, as far as, like, some of the gay movies and stuff like that and, you know, not being my preference, but, you know, I owed them some money and we took care of the debt and they turned me on to world modeling and they said, you probably could do well. And I said, why not?

[Adam Carolla]

You remember your first scene? Boy girl scene. Remember who that was with, where you were like, were you nervous? It was pre Viagra.

[Gina Grad]

Interesting thing. Yes, absolutely. Pre Viagra. Yeah. It was on Mulholland Drive at a house location overlooking Universal Studios. I do remember this. There were people laying out naked, you know, on the deck. So I thought, okay, just lay out. And it got comfortable. It was very comfortable right from the beginning to me, for some reason. And then there was like three girls and myself and another guy that were to work with the girls. And I won't mention his name, but he had problems. So I had to carry the scene with the three girls and I basically.

[Adam Carolla]

Randy Wack.

[Gina Grad]

No, try Biff Malibu.

[Adam Carolla]

Biff Malibu. That guy's a consummate pro.

[Mike Dawson]

You don't sully the name of Biff.

[Adam Carolla]

Malibu in the studio.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You keep that name out of your mouth.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So basically I was just. I had my hands behind my head and I said, this is work. I mean, it just, it was. It just. When you, when you start. And that's the whole big thing. I talk to like other actors when they start, if they come out of the gate really good, they'll have confidence. I've always had confidence anyway. Because if I had an issue, I had no problem getting myself an edge I could do it with. I wouldn't want people to be quiet and all this kind of stuff. I said, keep doing your thing, talk, you know, and stuff like that. So basically that was the first. You know, and when I did the pop shot, I guess that, that director, he got on the phone and it just got around like I was being booked, like way more than I could even attempt to even try.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Mike Dawson]

Chuck, it's your cousin Marvin Barry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know that new sound.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. So Biff Malibu's loss was the decorators gain.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah, they just thought it was a little volcanic eruption there. They just. I. I didn't know any different. I had not watched a porno movie in my life and. And I don't really watch my stuff, but I, Yeah. Had never watched a porn movie in my life and I just didn't know it was abnormal.

[Adam Carolla]

So Peter claim to fame as the abnormal amount of ejaculate that comes out of his penis ultimately lands on the actress and sometimes the sound guy. There had to be protocols. Like, did those guys show up like they're at a Gallagher concert holding the boomerang?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, the Gallagher. Yeah. Damn.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, were there actresses who were like, I don't really want to work with Peter because. Because of this unique gift he possesses.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I just had my hair done.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, there have been a few girls, not too many that, you know, just said, you know, not in the eyes and stuff like that. And I basically tell them, I really can't control the aim on this gun. You know, it goes off and just, you know. So a lot of times it's over their head or past them, which looks impressive, I guess.

[Mike Dawson]

A warning shot across the back.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah. You know, I end up hitting directors or other actors. I mean, Scorsese on the next line. There's a list of casual. There's a list of casualties out there.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, maybe I'm getting. Maybe I'm showing my age. But now when I watch some of the old vintage porn, I feel bad for the homeowner. Cause they got a really nice sectional sofa and nobody's laid a Furniture pad down. There's nothing going on. And you just see the guy just blasting off. And it's clearly not the house of the porn star.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, no, that's a set.

[Adam Carolla]

Or is it 21 year old runaways banging. That is somebody's nice house, living room. Or up and up off of Mulholland and some damage done.

[Gina Grad]

Some places will have you cover their furniture and stuff like that on some of those. Like some of the locations they've actually used in mainstream movies too.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah. I think there was one place we shot. It was like Harrison Ford did a movie there with.

[Adam Carolla]

But not at the same time. I just want to be. I want the audience to be confused.

[Gina Grad]

Is.

[Adam Carolla]

So you are now. So this is like kind of out of Boogie Nights, right? So you do the first pop shot and the guy literally pulls his, you know, head out from behind the viewfinder and goes, holy shit. And then that guy gets on the phone and then they go, you got to work with this dude or this guy needs to be in your next film.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I was gonna do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's Burt Reynolds.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it was. They were booking me seven days a week and I had to take. I took weekends off. I wanted to be normal. Like I went down to the Orange, you know, behind the Orange curtain in Orange county and to try to separate my life and to normalcy in a way I could. And took weekends off because a lot of my friends had weekends off. So I just, you know, I turned down like a bunch of work. But it kept my sanity, basically.

[Adam Carolla]

How much recognition, like street recognition were you getting at the very beginning versus the sort of height of things versus now. Like in a weird way you could. There's lots of celebrities. It's hard to keep track of all the guys who played Spider man over the last 10 years. I might not recognize the last guy played Spider Man. We're in a restaurant, but if Ron Jeremy walked in, I would definitely know it. I could probably smell his musk before he even turned the corner, that's for sure. I would tend to recognize. I might recognize Christy Canyon or Ginger Lynn or something like some of these household names. Some of these legends. More than celebrities in a sense, because there were less of them. There was this core of 18 or 20 people. That's who they were. That's all there was.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, the recognition, I think really started after the first year. And girls I dated in my personal life, kind of saying, you're really popular. I know a lot of people, I guess, you know, I played it down Like, I kind of, you know, I wish I was that guy or something like that.

[Adam Carolla]

So many people from Nova Scotia out here in Orange county. Boy.

[Gina Grad]

And after a couple years, it was a little, it started getting a little crazier because like, I didn't really tell my friends, like my buddies and California never told them. And they, they saw something and they said, you know, they flipped out and kind of like, we're cool about it. But my friends back home didn't know in east coast of Canada. And they basically said, wow, look, you're doing well. Keep doing what you're doing.

[Adam Carolla]

You must have had situations, especially when it was kind of wild west. Like I always say, the best time in history is pre aids, mid coke. So AIDS doesn't exist and coke is good for you. And that's gonna lead to a lot of debauchery. There must have been stories of guys wanting to pay you to bang their wife or just chicks knowing who you were, who were like civilians, who just like, Mike Tyson needs a bodyguard. And you go, why does Mike Tyson need a bodyguard? He's the baddest man. Because guys in a bar want to fight Mike Tyson just to say they blew Peter North. You know what I mean? There's gotta be some of those stories.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, they're actually, There's a few of those. There was actually. There's probably more stories of me losing girls or girlfriends or girls I've dated because of that. You know, that's hard to relate to. You have to be pretty open minded or something like that. But I've had some girls, I think one was on a Dosaki's poster and she was at the some bar and basically kind of wanted to get together. And we got together and it was crazy and it was absolutely fantastic. And she said afterwards, she goes, my God, you'd be a porn star.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, she didn't know you a porn.

[Gina Grad]

She didn't know. And we did it like all across throughout the house. Yeah. And then she told someone at the bar. So they knew and so they wanted to kind of like they were curious. The curiosity ones were the.

[Adam Carolla]

But I'm talking about knowing you're a porn star.

[Gina Grad]

Oh yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, you kind of hear these stories, these whispers of like some high end female models who for a million bucks will have sex with the, you know, Shaw of whatever guy from wherever. Like, like there's that world, right? I mean, just, you know, it's not on the books. People's got cash. Yeah. Was there some of those I've had.

[Gina Grad]

Like on My Internet site for the longest period of time, peternorth.com I had. They had a guest book, so people would write in and stuff like that. From every country, everywhere. And I remember particular this one guy from Texas said that he. His wife is. Is hot. She's gorgeous. She wants, you know, she wants to be with you, you know, while I'm watching and stuff like that. I understand that. I get that. You know, that little voyeurism. And another guy was getting married in Chicago, and he said, I wanted you to be with my wife before I. Oh, wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a risky little game.

[Gina Grad]

I know. I got a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Was she tight?

[Gina Grad]

Both those things never happened, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't feel like that marriage stood the test of time not built to last.

[Mike Dawson]

Or is it the ultimate marriage?

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe it's not.

[Gina Grad]

Maybe they were living the lifestyle.

[Adam Carolla]

Or maybe he just wanted to bang Nina Hartley and he was like, hey, turnabout's fair play. Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm always curious, and I'm sure you could write a book on this. What is it like? What was it like when the camera turned off in terms of being professional on a set, working with the women or the men you're working with? Was it uncomfortable? Do you just turn off as soon as the camera's off?

[Gina Grad]

No, I'm just. I'm just me. I'm, you know, I'm this regular guy from Canada that just happened to be able to have, like, the ridiculous pop shot and do what I had to do, you know, so it was like a lot of. A lot of sets were like. Were professional and. And basically to the point, you know, And I wasn't one of those creepy guys that want, you know, wanted to date the girls afterwards and stuff like that. I didn't have a reputation for that, even though I did go out with a couple girls in the industry a little bit, but. But didn't have that reputation because I had, you know, I went down to Orange county and kind of separated the two lives. It's kind of. That's what my documentary is about. Kind of humanizing Peter North a little bit, where he was fighting, you know, to be in one world and. And be in the other world at the same time, which is very difficult. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger and True Lies with Jamie Lee Curtis. You know, it's just. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's riding a fine line.

[Adam Carolla]

We were able to get paid. I mean, it's an industry where, you know, Christy Canyon's gonna get Paid more than Malibu Rumstein, whatever his name was. Johnny Biff Malibu. I mean, Biff Malibu's probably not sitting pretty right now on a huge nest egg. I don't know. Maybe got into producing, but he did okay. Well, good. I always did very well. Biff would land on his balls. But. But were you getting paid that kind of money back then? Like, were you getting the female superstar?

[Gina Grad]

No, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Were you? But you were getting paid more than the fellas.

[Gina Grad]

They. A lot of times the studios, they had their. Their rate.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that was it.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. And it was like, you know, there was. You take it or, you know, go get someone else, basically.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So you weren't under contract with.

[Gina Grad]

No, never got. Never was. And I didn't want to get contracted, but I think I made the money when I became a producer myself. And the distribution, that's where the money's really made.

[Adam Carolla]

Where's it at now? Because it seems.

[Gina Grad]

I have no clue.

[Adam Carolla]

It seems bizarre because it seems like you just go on the Internet and watch free porn all day long. Where's the money?

[Gina Grad]

Well, my Internet company, because I did really well on the Internet, more than what I expect, you know, for a male performer. I mean, you take Jenna Jameson, you know, she's gonna knock it out of the ballpark. But we. We did really, really well on the Internet. And we. You have to kind of like work with the Pirators. You know, you kind of give them some. Some so many minutes to show as long as they can. They. It's directed to your site. So. Yeah, you kind of like, you can't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pretend they don't exist.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, everybody was trying to race them out. And they had, like. We had two companies that. That was their thing. That was just. Their thing is to go after, you know, Pirators. And they were just like cockroaches. They're like everywhere. And it just kept going on. So just kind of work with them. And I think that's where everybody kind of leveled that playing field a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you have any good stories about you're doing a scene with a first timer and halfway into it she says, I can't do this. I gotta leave. Or loses her nerve while she's getting her makeup put on or starts crying in the middle of it. Something good.

[Gina Grad]

I don't recall anything like that. I know that I. You know, we talk before scenes and stuff like that. And I would talk to different girls and I say, you know what you're signing up for. Cause there's gonna be ramifications. You don't think that someone's gonna know someone that knows your father.

[Adam Carolla]

Ramifications would be a Damn good series. Ramifications 13.

[Gina Grad]

Kinda like that movie I did. Ram O O. Oh, that's good.

[Adam Carolla]

Reminds me of the late, great Dick Rambone.

[Gina Grad]

It was a five foot poster stand. A poster with that.

[Adam Carolla]

Dick Rambone is still in the business along with Malibu Biff Malibu, F.M. bradley and Frank James.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, wow.

[Gina Grad]

Just to name a few, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know Frank. I talked to Ron Jeremy about Frank James once. He was part American Indian. He used to drink a little bit. He had a lot of control.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, wow. Yeah, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

I think Frank James was Jesse James brother, maybe.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta figure out where we got gunslinger. Yeah, I gotta. FM Bradley was Field Marshal Bradley. The guy won the desert campaign for us in World War II. He was a huge black dude. Yeah, that is. And there was Rambo. Ram. Oh, oh, we're looking at the COVID right now. Karina Collins. Candy.

[Gina Grad]

Candy Evans was. Oh yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You like her?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you have anyone you didn't like working with other than Biff Malibu?

[Gina Grad]

There wasn't really anybody I didn't like. But it, it, you know, like a lot of times you do scenes, it ends up being like their scripts. You know, people don't believe that, but there are scripts. And you kind of like you're a character in this. In this movie and this other person's a character in this movie and you may happen to be in about six different movies and you're working with the same girl because she's that particular. Either your wife or your secretary or this or that. So it's kind of like. Yeah, that kind of got a little old.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was there ever anyone. You said I can't work with her, like on your no Fly list?

[Adam Carolla]

No, actually, yeah, like an easy going trish Malibu, actually. Mr. Biff. Whoa.

[Mike Dawson]

Funny you mentioned that, because on IMDb Biff Malibu's wife is listed as Buffy Malibu.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, love that. Well, let's not forget in the name department, Buffy Davis.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Buffy Davis was a famous porn star who got her name from Buffy from Family Affair.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, wow. The wholesome sitcom.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you have to think about it at the right age. I think Tracy Lords was Jack lord from Hawaii 5o. Well, if you think about the shit. So if you're older now and you grew up watching TV shows and just seeing all the names of the people on the TV show, and then I was gonna go with Peter Brady if I ever got there. Sorry, Peter, but the point is now it's 10 years later and you got to pick a name.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what's in there.

[Adam Carolla]

You're not going with great composers, right, from the 16th century. Like you're just watching TV being ignored by your family.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So you go with Buffy Davis. Yeah. What other good. Give us some good names from. From the past.

[Gina Grad]

Seymour Butts.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well, he did that. Did he do the producing or Showtime?

[Gina Grad]

He did that. Showtime, I think he was on Showtime for.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Mike Dawson]

There was Rocco Stiff Ready.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's right. Rocco.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think that's his name.

[Adam Carolla]

Rocco Stiff Ready. Right.

[Mike Dawson]

That's not it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's not it. Oh, I think it's Sifretti. Not that I know.

[Mike Dawson]

Oh, okay.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. I think a lot of people weren't crazy about like someone who was obvious with a name. It's like, you know, Buck Naked or something like that. You know, when I did my. I think it was my second movie when I came up with my name is basically having lunch. And it was on a big production, actually probably a 200, $250,000 budget on that Caballero or something like that. It was Swedish Erotica. It was like in. John Leslie was one of the main characters. Great actor. And Herschel Savage and a few other, you know, directors and producers and actors. And I was an extra on that and I came up with the name, you know, okay, you're Peter. They call it a Peter. Someone showed me a Peter Heater in Wintertime one time where it was a sock that goes over your Peter Heater.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

So I said, okay, Peter. And when you're erect, you're going north, so. And I'm from up north, so perfect. Just all the pieces were there. So it was pretty simple. Sounded natural, you know, it's believable. It's believable. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Mike Dawson]

Did the movie Boogie Nights like struck you as. As true to things you experienced or observed or did you find fantastical or a mix of both?

[Gina Grad]

I think it's a little tighter on sets than that, you know, I'd imagine you wouldn't. Yeah, some sets were a little bit crazy, but I remember being on one set where I guess Tracy Lawrence wasn't in that scene, but she was doing her own thing in the. In the bedroom with a couple. Couple guys and couple actors. Tom Byron and I think.

[Adam Carolla]

And didn't Tom. Well.

[Gina Grad]

He dated Tracy loads a little bit at the beginning, didn't he?

[Adam Carolla]

Wasn't there. I don't know what doc I was watching about somebody who had AIDS but didn't say Anything. But there was a. Oh, that wasn't Tom Byron.

[Gina Grad]

It was Mark Wallace. Those two were like the two guys that were in before me that were always on every set. They're very reliable. You know, they want people that are reliable. They want guys that are reliable. I mean, Randy west was reliable. He wasn't big in any. Any sort, but he was.

[Adam Carolla]

But he.

[Gina Grad]

He was reliable.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's. It's interesting because it's true. When you see like Randy west in a porn movie, go, why is that guy in a porn movie? And it's like, because he's prompt and that's what you're looking for.

[Gina Grad]

And he's. He can do some good acting. He actually.

[Adam Carolla]

He's funny.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I think we had him on the Man Show. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And he actually was. I. They asked me to be on the. With Bill Maher on the Politically Incorrect, do a little skit and I had committed to a project or a Signing a radio thing. It was already in. It was already. When I'm locked in on something, I won't change that. And so I missed that. That gig and Randy west got that. And then Sublime wanted me on a video and I missed that gig because of it. Had other bookings and Randy west got that project too.

[Adam Carolla]

And we had him. I'm pretty sure we had him on an episode of the Man Show. I just remember singing his name on a bus to Pahrump.

[Gina Grad]

I think I remember that thing. Was it Griffith park or. What park was that? We did the boot camp for the adult thing.

[Adam Carolla]

We did porn. We did fantasy porn camp or something like that.

[Gina Grad]

You and Jimmy?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I remember. All I remember.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No idea, actually, I remember.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, it was hysterical.

[Adam Carolla]

I remember that bit. Maybe we can. I don't know, we can find that. But all I remember is we had to shoot until dark because there's a scene at the end where we're all sitting around the fireplace, or not the fireplace, but the fire. We were camping and. And we had to shoot it with some porn actress who had some scare. We're telling ghost stories. And she was like, well, one time I had to do a DP with two Puerto Rican guys. And everyone went like, oh, that was a joke. But I had to go to Loveline and go to work that night. So I was like, I gotta be out of here at 9:35 probably at the latest that hop in my car and hustle to Culver City. But I. Funny, the thing I remember most about a lot of shoots is having to leave.

[Gina Grad]

I heard you on the Radio. Getting back with Dr. Drew talking to you, how it was and stuff like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that night. Yeah, I did that with Drunken Pilots. They were at LAX and it was like 9:32. And I was like, I gotta go, I gotta go. We did that a lot. Sorry, Brian. You got something, right? Yeah. All right, so we sung the song taking a tour bus with all the man show crew. So go Randy West. Randy West. And everyone just sung it. Randy West.

[Dave Smith]

Randy West.

[Adam Carolla]

Because that's what you do on a boxer. Yeah, that's the Randy west song. Sorry, sorry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm curious. You seem very affable, professional, easy to work with.

[Adam Carolla]

Prompt, prompt, prompt on time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

After all the story behind that, was there ever. Was there anything you said? I can't. Where was the line for you? What were you not interested in doing?

[Adam Carolla]

I was.

[Gina Grad]

Back then, I wasn't really big on doing anal scenes because the girls had trouble. You know, they signed up for it because they get paid more. But, you know, you got to do what you signed up for. And it's like I'm like. Like, you know, it's taken forever and I'm like, okay, let me take a break. Get the edge. And. And you know, it's like it was. It was. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So that was more. It was literally a pain in the ass for you to deal with. I mean, really, it wasn't worth it.

[Gina Grad]

Gave me that mind thought that, you know, like, God, I'm not really into.

[Adam Carolla]

Anal, I guess, because I'll remember where we were. I'm trying to think. I think Max Pata, John Leslie. I remember John Leslie. But there's the other guy I always forget who was in the same ilk.

[Gina Grad]

Jamie Gillis.

[Adam Carolla]

Jamie Gillis. Count on you. Crazy for Jamie Gillis. Jamie Gillis. There was a weird group of avant garde sort of New York porn star guys who didn't look like porn stars. It wasn't like all buff and shaved and tan or anything. Not a big hog.

[Gina Grad]

He was actually a taxi driver.

[Adam Carolla]

Jamie was.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And they were like kind of Jewish looking guys from. Seemed like bohemian guys from New York. Like, they seemed Elliot Gouldish, kind of the artist of. They were in for the art of it or something. They weren't porn stars like you think of a traditional porn star, but Jamie used to. Jamie's into like a slow motion rough trade. Like it was like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's specific.

[Gina Grad]

That's a good way to describe it.

[Adam Carolla]

You ever been raped by a tree Sloth? He would be doing this thing where he'd like kind of close his eyes and he'd like, come here pushing the chick's head, like turtle, he's groin. But it wasn't like he was smacking or slapping or.

[Gina Grad]

That's very, very accurate description of him. Slow motion.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And so I took note of that because I have hypervigil. You know, I noticed that it's working for Jamie. I was like, it just, it seemed weird to have a guy was into rough trade, but a very slow, like an elderly rough trade. Like he was kind of mumbling and his eyes closed all the time. And so I said, I think it was Ginger Lynn. Ginger Lynn came into Loveline. And I said, this is one of my. This is, this is not one of my favorite porn related stories. One of my favorite all timers, you know, Transcends. Yeah. And I said, you work with Jamie Gillis, right? And she goes, yeah. And I go, seemed a little rude, a little rough, a little out of bounds or something from the way I saw it. You know, I was only watching back then a 21 inch, you know, Sony, but seemed to look across the line a little bit. And she was, no, no, Jamie's a sweetheart, great guy, perfect gentleman. I said, really? She goes, yeah. Oh, one time he tried dry anal rape on me. I was like, wow.

[Mike Dawson]

In a gentlemanly way.

[Gina Grad]

He is very polite. He is very polite. Very cordial and polite.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, she even worked on Ginger, but.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She forgot about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

There's the great Jamie Gillis and Ginger Lynn and I don't know who they are. Who's the other girl in the picture? I'm finding out. Well, we got Peter here.

[Gina Grad]

I can, I can't. I need some glasses right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Were there. Did you look forward to like a Christy Canyon scene, for instance?

[Gina Grad]

Absolutely. Absolutely. I love Kristy Canyon because she's hot.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, fun. It's nice.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, she's. She's just. And I like, like good sized naturals. And so.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But what. Did you ever like it a little too much? You know what I mean? Like, we got to get through the scenes here. We got to go through compulsories.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. I was focusing a little bit too much on the, on the breast for period of time. You know how they, they do it? They shoot. We shoot about, I don't know, 30, 40 minutes. And they, they edit that down to anywhere from 20 to 24, 25 minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

The other girl in the picture was Karen Summer. So.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

If her kids are listening to mom with the great Jamie Gillis, Dick Rambone, you should know. Retired in 1980. 7. I feel like he had a few, few more years left in him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But yeah, going on top.

[Adam Carolla]

He appeared something in like 92, but as. Just as Rambone. No. You ever work with Dick Rambone?

[Gina Grad]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Really feel like you guys are in the same era.

[Gina Grad]

I did a movie with. I guess John Holmes was in it, but it was like one of his last movies. But I never ran across him because my day of shooting was a different day. I think the movie was called Dick man and Throbbin.

[Harris Whittles]

Oh, that's good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's good.

[Gina Grad]

He was there on a different day and that was a time when you were. It was illegal to shoot in la. You could sell all the movies you want in the Valley in la, but it was leg. So I guess the SWAT team raided the place after the day after I was there. I wasn't there for. I was on two different sets that got raided after my day. So it was a little bit crazy.

[Mike Dawson]

Jizz about the outlines on the floor.

[Gina Grad]

They traced me back.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, speaking of that, you know they have rules for airline pilots. Like, you know, you can't fly twice in a 12 hour period or something. You have to sleep for eight hours. Yeah. Do you have the same, you know, cock related rules? Couldn't. Could you do two scenes in a day?

[Gina Grad]

That was the thing. If you were good enough, they'd always book you two scenes in a day. And if you're doing five days in a row, it gets to the point. It started getting to the point where I was like, I could hit it against a rock and I wouldn't feel it, you know. I said that's why the weekends off was pretty good. But then I started working weekends and just. It just fell upon whenever the schedule was. So yeah, they don't. If like there's one a couple times I've done three scenes in a day. And that is pretty tricky. But if you're with the right girl, it's, you know, you can pull it off. The person that I always thought that was probably one of the best performers in the business and to this day still think he is, is T.T.

[Adam Carolla]

Boy. Oh, T.T. boy. Sure. Yes. T.T. boy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hold on.

[Gina Grad]

I've seen him do four scenes in one day. And we call gated when someone comes out of their pants hard. He gated it on the four scene. He doesn't even like getting blow jobs and he's like hard.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. He doesn't like getting blowjobs.

[Gina Grad]

Not that much.

[Adam Carolla]

The honeymoon's over with TT Boy.

[Gina Grad]

But he still with his mind. He's just. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Now that's modern day TT Boy, but olden days. TT Boy looked like he was half black or something.

[Gina Grad]

Hawaiian or something Puerto Rican.

[Adam Carolla]

Puerto Rican in.

[Gina Grad]

And he's got that pot drinking blood and actually the couple professional boxing trainers said that he missed his calling. He could have been a champion.

[Adam Carolla]

Could have felt one of the greatest chances of all time. That's still. I don't know that maybe it is. DT Boy, follow up question.

[Mike Dawson]

Were you Batman or Throbin or were you the poker?

[Gina Grad]

I was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Good one.

[Gina Grad]

I was neither.

[Adam Carolla]

Come on.

[Gina Grad]

No, I just, just, you know, I like to keep my scene simple. Like, you know, if you're a main character.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Brian, please.

[Gina Grad]

I had, I had a, a script that was 50 pages long and a lot. I was a doctor in this thing and a lot of it was Dr. Jargon. It was like it wasn't just your layman's terms of speaking and it was like, okay and. But I had a knack for remembering my scripts, so. And people would be still reading in the green room and I'm. I take the script away from, from the actress and I said, okay, let me give you your line. You. You tell me back, you answer me back. And basically she, she would get it after doing that a little bit. She had to. Because if you're still reading before you go on, on camera, you're not going.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

To get it right.

[Gina Grad]

So that. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you or do you know of anyone who insured body parts? Is that a thing or is that just a lifetime?

[Gina Grad]

I heard, I heard some guy from London, some white guy from London insured his 12 inch penis for a million or something like that. Million dollars.

[Adam Carolla]

TT Boy insured his nutsack.

[Gina Grad]

That guy was an unbelievable performer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna need more TT Boy pictures because I'm not pulling up the right ones apparently.

[Adam Carolla]

Like TT Boy, I don't know, from back in the day on the, on the screen, I thought he had an afro, but maybe confusing him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know. I'm out.

[Adam Carolla]

TT Boy to me, not the cheesy boy, you know. No. But on the other hand, you know, it gets blurry to get all your FM Bradleys and your grand bones and your John Holmes eyes and all the TT Boys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can you settle another urban legend that we all think exists? There's not really a fluffer, is there? There wasn't.

[Gina Grad]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

That's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I didn't think so.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, what a job.

[Gina Grad]

I mean, before me, I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But, but you're, you're, you're Expected to take care of that.

[Gina Grad]

What actress would accept some guy getting, you know, fluffed from another girl to be able to do something with her?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, that would be insulting. Never thought about that.

[Adam Carolla]

Damaging psychologically.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, we'll see. Yes, we'll see if we can find a picture of TT Boy for.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's the picture I saw.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I don't know. I don't know if Peter can.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's. That was him. That was him.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Well, that was TT Boy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not the TT Boy you were married.

[Adam Carolla]

I was confusing him with some other great. Some other legend. All right, you want to. Let's see. Hold on a second here. Got a spot to do. And then you can hang out and do some news with us, Peter North.

[Gina Grad]

Sure.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we will take ourselves a quick. Oh, we have Camp Spreading Eagle. Which was. Which was. Which was the bit. Was the man show bit. I haven't. I've never even talked about this bit, have I?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This does not sound familiar. I would remember this.

[Adam Carolla]

So this is a.

[Mike Dawson]

Basically a summer camp with porn stars.

[Adam Carolla]

Summer camp with porn stars. That's right. Now, I heard the camera adds 10 pounds. How many of those go on the penis? Save it. All right, bend your knees on the balls of your feet, the way Peter and Amber are doing. Nice job, guys. And remember to always keep at least.

[Gina Grad]

One hand on your hip at all times.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Kimmel Corolla, you think this is funny? I want you to drop and give me 20 pelvic thrusts. Now. Not my pelvis. Now.

[Big J Okerson]

How.

[Adam Carolla]

How long does it usually take before.

[Dave Smith]

I become a coke fiend?

[Adam Carolla]

Like a couple weeks? I'm sorry. Just real quick. It's oral, oral, missionary, doggy, wheelbarrow, oral, anal, oral. Money shot.

[Dave Smith]

Money shot.

[Adam Carolla]

Do I need drug virgins? Cause I don't want to hurt anybody.

[Gina Grad]

I remember those things.

[J]

Me.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm taking you out on Jeremy.

[Big J Okerson]

You're done.

[Adam Carolla]

Hit the showers. Don't take me out, coach. I got plenty left. No, you don't.

[Gina Grad]

I did watch that scene, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

Excuse me, Mr. North, I'm your biggest fan. Do you think you could sign my penis?

[Gina Grad]

No problem. Maybe I should just initial it.

[Adam Carolla]

And hanging from the door was a bloody meat hook. Hey, I got one. It was a dark and stormy night, just like tonight. And I had to do this double penetration scene with these two Puerto Ricans. Jeez. Dear mom, camp is fun. Very fun. The people are nice. Very nice. Can I please stay an extra week? Jimmy. Jimmy. Ron Jeremy's making s'mores.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, man.

[Adam Carolla]

You Got to see this. I'll be right there. Love, your son, Big Jim Bonewacker.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah, that's good.

[Adam Carolla]

That's good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That'd be so fun to shoot.

[Adam Carolla]

It was work. Don't. Peter knows we hired Jimmy because he was prompt, right? All right. Wait, did we take a break? Oh, we'll take a quick break. Come back with the news right after this. Give me the news with crack. News with Gino Grad. Breaking viral, weird crime, protest politics. Give me news with Gina Grad stuff. It's on tmc. Joe Biden coming out. Big news with Gina Gina. The news with Gina Grad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, let's do some Olympic news since that is right around the corner. There was. There was mumblings of this, but now it's official. There will be no spectators at the Tokyo Olympics later this month. Olympic officials made the announcement citing safety concerns amid. I hate that word. Amid an increase in the spread of COVID 19 variants across the country, only 15% of the people have been vaccinated there. The announcement also. Yeah, I actually heard a podcast about how 15 oh my. 15%. There was a couple of reasons they gave and I don't know if it was. I could be misremembering, but like a mistrust of the government, a mistrust of things moving too quickly and just cranking this stuff out, like culturally, not into it, and not a lot of vaccinations available there. It just kind of. They did so well that they didn't really worry about it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's interesting, cuz here I think I heard a stat that Asians were the highest vaccinated rate. It just goes down a lot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

American.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All the same lines you hear about for median income and education. It was the exact same thing. It was Asians were number one, white people number two, Hispanics were number three, and black people were number four. In terms of our groups of getting vaccinated, Corolla's at number five, I'm at five. The announcement we had Asians at number one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, very under vaccinated. There follows Japan's prime minister declaring a state of emergency, which is now in effect through August 22nd.

[Adam Carolla]

Imagine at least I've never been there, but I've seen plenty of footage. You don't see a lot of real husky Japanese people out there. So I feel like if this thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is a sumo culture, not everybody on the sidelines.

[Adam Carolla]

They are, but then everyone else in the arena's pretty svelte and I imagine if it's hitting people that are heavy set, the Thinner cultures are gonna survive a little better.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, there's been a lot of protests there by Japanese people saying like we don't want everyone coming here. Like we're trying to get this under control.

[Mike Dawson]

Keep mine also, they're an island, you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Know, Australia did well.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel bad for the sprinter, the American sprinter.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're gonna talk about her right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sha'carri Richardson, TMZ reports that her Olympic dreams are officially crushed because we knew she was out of one event, but now she's out of both events. This is following her failed. The U.S. track and field officials left the fastest woman in America off the 4 by 100 meter squad. And as you said, this happened despite the fact that the 30 day suspension will end before the relay race. She's 21, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, she'll be bad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh yeah, she tested and I have a clip of her. You're gonna like. Tested positive for marijuana after the Olympic trials last month, accepted the one month ban. The story is that she found out her biological mother died. She knew the rules, but she needed to take the edge off. She tweeted right after that. I am.

[Adam Carolla]

I felt it sad that we had to put biological in front of mother. Like she found out, right? I don't know what her situation is, but it's now sad that people have to find out they're biological. They have to do this. Like I met my biological dad when I was in the fourth grade or whatever. That sad sa.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's footage of her winning and then running up to the stands to hug her grandma. So I'm assuming biological. I'm assuming she might have raised her.

[Adam Carolla]

Should people just be able to smoke potential hot these days?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, they should not. Not according to the. Well Biden, when they caught him off guard and asked him, said that that may change. But she did flunk and when asked about how she feels about this, I thought of you because boy, did she not point fingers.

[Adam Carolla]

This was her. I love it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this was.

[Adam Carolla]

I love a little. I'm tired of all the externalization like this. I got fucked and this is bullshit and this is racist.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is the opposite. This was her response on the Today show.

[Harris Whittles]

Show just honestly, gorgeous, I want to.

[Adam Carolla]

Take responsibility for my actions. I know what I did. I know what I'm supposed to do. No, I'm not. I'm. I'm allowed not to do. And I still made that decision. But not making an excuse or looking for any empathy in my case, but just however being in that position of my life, finding out something Something like that. Something that I would say is probably one of the biggest things that have impacted me positively and negatively in my life when it comes to dealing with the relationship I have with my mother. So that definitely was a very heavy topic on me. And people don't understand what it's like to have to. Our people do.

[Harris Whittles]

We all have our different struggles.

[Adam Carolla]

We all have our different things we deal with.

[Harris Whittles]

But to put on a face, I.

[Adam Carolla]

Have to go in front of the world and put on a face and hide my pain. Like who? I don't know. Who are you or who am I to tell you how to cope?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, and I should have. I should have given you a trigger warning. I did forget there was a smoke detector in there.

[Adam Carolla]

How can you run in those eyelashes?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was the. That was the big thing after we saw her run. Like, we need to get her a lash glue sponsor because. Amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Now that pot's ubiquitous and sort of decriminalized and legal everywhere. Just pull it off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not comparing human beings to horses, but didn't we find out that if people smoke pot. And I'm actually kind of paraphrasing something that Mo Kelly on KFI said, if people smoke pot for cancer or for whatever, for pain relief. And remember that that's outlawed with horses because they could hurt themselves. You're pushing them harder than they should go because they don't. They're hurt. Isn't it kind of the same thing?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know. I'm trying to figure out.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, it's either an advantage or it isn't an advantage. And if it's not an advantage, then you can do it. You can drink alcohol. That's not an advantage. But if you want to cope with the death of your biological anything, then you can drink.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I absolutely agree, but it was so interesting to hear anyone have some sort of a counter argument?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's, It's. It's an old school thing that you don't hear anymore, which is, I am sure they tell everyone, do not smoke pot. You have to drug test. And that's still on the list of banned substances. So you know the rules. She knew the rules. And in a very rare instance of internalization, just said, I knew the rules and I shouldn't have done it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And she even caught herself halfway through and said like something like, you know, how would you. You know what? I don't know how you feel. Everyone's different. I mean, just a class act.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So she'll be Back an autograph. Steph Curry, rookie card sold for big bucks. Setting a record for highest price paid for a trading card. It's been graded mint A on a scale of 1 to 10. Sorry, Peter.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to blow up the Internet? I get that card. I pay 725,000 bucks for it. We lay it down and you desecrate it. We could sell that for mint. We would blow up the Internet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's right. Sell that nft.

[Mike Dawson]

It'd be viral for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And the autograph. I don't know how they do this. So the card is min A. The autograph on the card is gem mint. 10. Yeah. The highest grade possible. Now, I'll give you. Actually, I won't. I won't. There was the second previous highest recorded car was LeBron James earlier this year. How much do you think this one went?

[Mike Dawson]

I think that LeBron.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. No, I'm just thinking about a whole series of Peter north beats up on. You know what I mean? That's good. We'll go with the Quran. At some point, we have to go to exile for the rest of our lives. You know what I mean? There's a whole bunch of stuff.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Terrible idea.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm just saying things are. You know, I'm a creative type.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was it sweeps week?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Coming to my. Yeah, we do that during sweeps. We could blow up the Internet.

[Mike Dawson]

Yeah, that would be a big thing. I'm thinking the Steph Curry. Didn't you know a story about Mike Trout's card going for like a million dollars? I think so. I'll say. I'll go with Adam's guess and say 725,000.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Mike Trout. Not a bad porn name.

[Mike Dawson]

That's true.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Our Trout. Big.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, bigger than my dick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's true.

[Adam Carolla]

We'd have to throw mine back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yours is more bait. Adam Guppy anchovy.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just gonna go 1.3 million bucks. Okay, Peter.

[Gina Grad]

Well, guess I'm right there around 1, 2.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, you guys think this is fire sale day at the auction house. It went for $5.9 million. And LeBron's card went for 5.2, which was. Was the most ever. And now he's been beat.

[Adam Carolla]

So there's something going on with, like, the memorabilia. Like, is it. It's the economy? Is it just. Is it. Everything is digital now.

[Mike Dawson]

We're through the looking glass. This is like a real life nft, right? You know what I mean? Before we even needed an NFT or knew what that was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is the price of nostalgia.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, the guy is still playing in the league. I mean, it's crazy.

[Mike Dawson]

I have an autographed Klay Thompson jersey in my house. I'm not saying it's 5.3 million, but bring it over.

[Adam Carolla]

I want Peter to take a look at it. Just part of the show. You can write it off.

[Mike Dawson]

I think I lost my taxes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lil Nas X, are you familiar? I'm sure Natalia likes him.

[Dave Smith]

Sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. He triggered some online criticism for kissing a male dancer during his performance of Montero Call Me by youy Name at the BET Awards at the end of June.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, is he the gay cowboy?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Correct. But according to tmz, with all the online criticism, only three were actually directed to the FCC for comparison. Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's Grammy performance of WAP and J. Lo and Shakira's super bowl halftime show Inspired more than 1,000 FCC complaints. And if you missed it, cuz you're not always watching the BET Awards. I think this is. This is whatever some people were up in arms about, but nobody told the fcc.

[Adam Carolla]

So it was a dude kissing a dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's Lil Nas X kissing one of his backup dancers. It's the big finale.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Mike Dawson]

Is Lil Nas X gay?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, Brian.

[Mike Dawson]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how much. What kind of kissing?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would love to show you. Passionate. I would say passionate. I would say.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait a minute. There's gay backup dancers now? Come on, Gina.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You've come a long way, baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Yeah, wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It has that Egyptian Michael Jackson, like remember the time, like everyone's in Egyptian stuff and maybe we're not seeing that.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, the one with the Magic Johnson?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it has that vibe. But at the end he plants a solid kiss.

[Adam Carolla]

My favorite part of. Is that the Magic Johnson video that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You showed and Iman, because I loved.

[Adam Carolla]

It because Magic Johnson came up and went be hoed. Thank he.

[Mike Dawson]

Yeah, the dialogue coach.

[Adam Carolla]

He just said hoed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay. Well, I guess they don't have it. I'm not sure what's going on. Should we move on?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay. Okay. All right.

[Mike Dawson]

I believe you.

[Adam Carolla]

I believe you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I am so glad you weren't claimed by this situation in Alaska. Adam and Chris and Dawson, glad this didn't happen to you. A grizzly bear has pulled a woman from her tent in the middle of the night in Montana and killed her. According to wildlife officials. Fox News reports that the victim, 65 year old Leah Davis Loken of Chico, California. She was on a long distance bike trip and she was attacked. She was killed around 3:30 in the morning before fellow campers in a tent near her were able to use bear spray to ward off the 400 pound animal. Bear has not been located. Still at large. And here's the thing. Grizzly bears have run into increasing conflict with humans in the Northern Rockies because they're protected and they can't be hunted. So they're getting kind of brave and they're multiplying.

[Adam Carolla]

But I think they'll kill that bear.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh that one. Yes, they will kill. But in general, this has spurred calls to elected officials in Montana and Wyoming and Idaho trying to lift this protection so that they can call the police.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's gotta be if you're that bear. I mean, I wonder if the other bears catch on. But you don't wanna hang out with that bear, you know what I mean? Like that bear's like I just ate this old lady out of her tent. Anyone wanna go down the stream and catch some salmon? Like you're goin ahead, go ahead. Cause somebody has to kill that bear.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But how do you find, how do you discern which one hurts?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know but I just got back from Alaska and they were like, well these hunters, we were at a guy's house who's like, yeah, if you got a bad bear, like you got a bear that keeps showing up and getting into people's stuff, they gotta go kill that bear. And they just hire this dude and he either he knows which bear it is or he just kills a bear and goes yeah, yeah, we got it. We're good.

[Mike Dawson]

Thinking about the Michael Jackson video, Peter, did you ever do any exotic themes like you know, Egyptian or Wild west or you know, some weird production dress.

[Gina Grad]

Up in a costume in a movie? Yeah, sure, yeah.

[Mike Dawson]

What was the weirdest, what were some of the weirdest?

[Gina Grad]

Well, I know the most difficult one was being underwater with a regulator and having sex.

[Mike Dawson]

That sounds very dangerous.

[Gina Grad]

Like it's a control. It was a controlled environment. It basically was in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and it was like about 10, 10 foot deep container and there were two girls that were on a plank up above and I had a regulator so they would come down. I was amazed at how well they held their breath. I was like blown away. But that was probably the most interesting and most difficult because I was moving around too much underwater. They didn't weigh me down enough, Right. So I had to put my feet under this chain that went across the bottom to hold myself in place.

[Mike Dawson]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

And yeah, it was just, it, it worked. We did It.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Those girls probably got mega UTIs because.

[Gina Grad]

One would go up, one would go up to the board and another one would come right back down.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

It was. It was.

[Mike Dawson]

It's a goddamn profession.

[Gina Grad]

It's a different. Yeah, I guess this is what this company does. They do it in swimming pools and stuff like that.

[Mike Dawson]

That's why we all know their name.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wonder if that's what our Snuba equipment really was used for when we went Snuba in Cozumel. That's perfect.

[Adam Carolla]

We got a. Well, I'll get into it tomorrow, but I had a threesome conversation with Mike lynch yesterday. So we got to get a staff poll on it. But we're running late today. But we'll get into it tomorrow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, good. So just, just so we can all. I mean, Peter, you very open minded. You've done a lot of things. You're professional. There is a real doll out there for everybody. And if you have an older man fetish, you're gonna want to direct them toward the real doll company. They are now making realistic elderly male sex robots complete with wrinkles and gray hair and other signs of aging. Just whatever you think that Long balls. I don't know. It's being constructed specifically for a client who requested it, but they're willing to do more.

[Adam Carolla]

But the whole thing about the sugar daddy is you have to put up with the gray pubes and the male pattern baldness and the gun in order to get the car.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

But if the real doll cost you money, you know what I mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a fetish.

[Mike Dawson]

It's like going to work and not getting paid, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but some people might be into this might be their thing.

[Adam Carolla]

It's. It's got to be for dudes though. This is. No, there's no female that's in to the male.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a male. Real doll, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. This is like a grandpa.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's for a dude. Everything that can't be explained is for gay. That's how you know for gay. For gay. So you go, who's gonna. What woman would. What woman would pay to have sex with a.

[Mike Dawson]

The answer is no woman.

[Adam Carolla]

No one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I can't imagine imagine a real doll being requested by a woman because women aren't. Women are pretty easy. If you want to have sex, you go have sex.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So you'd be onto something.

[Adam Carolla]

Understood.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you. No, not sure how much this is, but regular real dolls go for 12 grand.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A guy investment.

[Adam Carolla]

I know A guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You got a real doll guy?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, yeah, I know a guy. Yeah, I thought we had a picture of him, but we might not. But yeah, he is. Is. He is realistic.

[Adam Carolla]

My feeling with the real doll is where do you stash it? You know what I mean? You can put a vibrator and a shoe box up in the closet. You know, you can take your porn DVDs and stash them in your magazine or whatever, under the bed or between the. Where do you stash a real doll?

[Mike Dawson]

Do you go the other way and you don't stash it. You go like a lawn jockey. Lean in. That's what I'm saying. Like, fine, I'm not gonna hide. This is. I am.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, there's your guy.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, we're look. We're looking at the guy trail. Yes. God.

[Mike Dawson]

Who's the guy that does the TD Ameritrade?

[Adam Carolla]

He looks like that actor Sam Water. Sam Waterson. He looks exactly like Sam Waterson. Peter, you ever have a mold of your dick made?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, of course. Actually, Chasey Lane was the first person to have that done. And then Jenna Jameson and myself did kind of around the same time for this one company. And it's, It's, it's, it's way too difficult. I mean, because like you say there's no. I don't think there was vag around at the time. Well, maybe Viagra, but I, I didn't take any. But Cialis or anything like that. Or even having a girl on the phone talk dirty to me or something like that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How do you keep it that way?

[Gina Grad]

Because you get an edge and you're in a room with like these Latina women with lab coats, white lab coats. And it's so like sterilized production. Yeah. Like a medical situation. And so they have a tube with the rubber at the base of it, and it's about a 12 inch tube. And, and it's. I don't know what the girth of it. It's a pretty big girth that they pour. Once they, they put it on you. Once you're ready to go, they pour, they put it on to. And you got to wait like five minutes to solidify, to get the accuracy of the veins and this and that. There's no way. Five minutes. I, I had to do it, like, I don't know how many retakes we had to do on that, but I heard the same thing from Rocco Sofriti that they had to do a number of times.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

And it didn't come Out. It came out somewhat accurate, but the size didn't come out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But who's gonna know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. How is a big seller?

[Gina Grad]

I think the one that squirted was a big seller. You could put pina colada in. In the ball and stuff like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Or Dijon squeeze.

[Gina Grad]

Squeeze them and the kids over for the four.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pina colada in the ball.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God. And. But did you ever feel like. I'm not a superstitious man, but do you ever feel like at night you're asleep and maybe some guy's got a hold of your replica cock and he's doing something insane with it, you know, and all of a sudden you just feel a little voodoo? Yeah, like a little. He's putting a pin in it or putting up his boyfriend's ass or something, and you just. Just wake up a little, like you feel something down there.

[Gina Grad]

Never crosses my mind.

[Adam Carolla]

Never.

[Gina Grad]

Never thought, you know, but you get.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You get a piece of the sales. You want that happening?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, we. We did. I know. I think everybody did a kind of a buyout a little later on. Not too. Because I didn't trust the. The company that much, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

So. What, you don't trust the company? Replica Cox from Coked Out Porn Stars San Fernando?

[Gina Grad]

Well, Chasey Lane did it the wrong way. I mean, she was. Just Wanted people to sign up to her. Her site and stuff like that. She. She could have. She could have made like over a million. Yeah. Million dollars on hers. And they told. And the guy told me that. And I'm like thinking, okay, as much.

[Adam Carolla]

As you complain about the way they pull the mold on the male porn star, the female porn stars, no picnic either.

[Gina Grad]

I think they do. I think they do. The. The ass and. And the.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, so they just. You just basically sit in it until it.

[Gina Grad]

I get. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

From what I'm seeing, that's what it looks. Yeah. I don't know. Chasey Lane was pretty hot. You guys remember. You ever work with Chase Elaine? Yeah, she was good, right?

[Gina Grad]

I mean, I look at it like Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon and Tracy lords were the 80s. That stood out. Then you got Jenna Jameson, Tara Patrick, Chasey Lane, and maybe some of the vivid girls. Janine Lindemayer, something like that for the 90s.

[Adam Carolla]

Hmm. Janine Lindemeyer was the one who was married to Jesse James. Oh, Jesse James.

[Dave Smith]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

In the Link 182 video, she's on the Chicago.

[Gina Grad]

I think she's the mother of his child.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Jesse James. What about Frank James? Any relation Jesse James in real life had a. I mean, not Jesse James. The outlaw did. It was his brother Frank, I think it was. It's kind of a weird low self esteem move.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Remember Sandra Bullock was with him.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bizarre.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that was sad. That was a sad situation.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but amusing.

[Harris Whittles]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyway, Chacey Lane was hot.

[Gina Grad]

That's what I. Yeah, big blue eyes, brunette. Yeah, she was definitely hot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she was good. Looking to find Chasey. You know, we were talking about the Love Boat much earlier in the show and the PTA woman looked a little Ginger Lynn. Yeah, that's some Ginger Lynn. Yeah, I agree. But yeah, Jacy Lane. Oh, yeah, there's Jacy Lane.

[Mike Dawson]

Oh, my.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my, good looking lady.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is this Ginger Lynn? Because this is what came up.

[Adam Carolla]

That's Ginger Lynn as of last Wednesday.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I see.

[Adam Carolla]

That wasn't the Ginger Lynn All American.

[Gina Grad]

American blonde girl from, you know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, okay. This Ginger Lynn.

[Adam Carolla]

That Ginger Lynn. Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, I see. Good for her.

[Adam Carolla]

Good for her. All right, shall we bring it home? Gina Grad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's do it. I'm Gina Grad and that's the news.

[Gina Grad]

God, I'm not really into anal, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina, Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad. We got Ginger in the pta.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I see it.

[Adam Carolla]

Head from Love Boat. It's good luck. Till next time, Adam Kroll for Peter north and Gina Grant and Ball. Bryan. Say it. Mahalo.

[Gina Grad]

Dick man. And throbbin.

[Giovanni]

All right, that's Adam Colishow 3100 with the decorator himself returning to the studio. Coming for our final clip today, we have Adam Kulishow 3356. Big J Okerson, Lewis J. Com, Dave Smith, the Legion of Skanks. This was from 2022. This is when Adam was touring New York. Crystal took him across New York City and he was able to tour on all these east coast shows that were kind of absent from the Adam Carollo show podcasting history. Well, Adam would go over to New York to perform live at Caroline's or something. He wouldn't really do a bunch of east coast pods. And much like the rap feud of the 90s, East Coast, west coast pods don't really fuck around. But now Adam Corolla joined the legions cakes. And they loved them. Check it out.

[Adam Carolla]

From New York City, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, the hosts of Legion of Skanks, Big J Okerson, Lewis J. Gomez, and Dave Smith. And now a man whose luck with technology is so bad, he. He could literally break The Internet. Adam Corolla. All right, Legion of Skanks. That is the podcast. I was lucky enough to do it just a few weeks ago. Big J Oakerson, Lewis J. Gomez, and also Dave Smith is here. Wait, is it Luis?

[Big J Okerson]

It's. It's Louis. It's supposed to be Luis.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it should be. All right, good. I had a good.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm offended when people call me Luis for some reason. Does it sound like they're making fun of.

[Dave Smith]

You know, it is funny, though, like, whenever I have somebody, like, because I type your name as your name, I should probably learn to type it out. Louis. Yeah, if they don't know. Because remember I said I had the Sixers guy, the announcer, do things organically, says Luis because I didn't think to write Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

And then you're too nice of a person to correct him, so you just let me be disrespected and called Luis.

[Dave Smith]

Yes, that is correct. He's busy. It was pretty cool. He did it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I did the podcast and it was. It's kind of interesting to see how the whole thing has grown. Like, I haven't been in New York and traveled around and done the scene. You know, there's places, there's studios. They're popping up all over the place. It's kind of. To me, it's interesting on what you can do with the square footage allotted. Like, it used to be, you'd go do Letterman. It was at the Ed Sullivan Theater. You go to the Tonight Show. Like these. These were big. Even Politically Incorrect. You'd go to cbs. You go to Television, Radford Studios, the Man Show. We did these big sound stages. And now you go into these little, like, single apartments with these little kind of. The room we're in is 10 by 10, but you light it well. You do it acoustically, you wire it up. And all of a sudden you do a show from, like, what was nothing. And I think it's probably changed the.

[Big J Okerson]

World realize how much money was wasted with television production.

[J]

It's unbelievable.

[Big J Okerson]

You do one of these, like, Fox talking head shows, and it's a massive.

[J]

Like, every one of them is getting 75k plus benefits. We have 15 people here. We've never given one of them a dollar.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, they're all under minimum wage. They're all volunteering.

[Dave Smith]

We probably owe them some money.

[J]

We tell them there's big opportunities.

[Big J Okerson]

But you see it like, there's, like, you go to, like, you. You know, and I haven't done all those massive TV shows. Username. But I'll do something. Something like. Was it Red Eye we used to do on Fox? Right. There's like a production team of 30 people. There's like all these lighting sounds age for a show that I promise you have panicking 1/30 the listenership of this show or any other popular podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's. It's. It really has upset the market and it's kind of interesting and, you know, I guess it's a new world order. It's awesome. When I started started podcasting 13 and a half years ago, everyone was like, what's a podcart? How are you going to make money? This is insane. It was kind of embarrassing, was sort of weird. Like, people go like, what are you up to? And I'm doing a podcast. I go, okay, well, maybe you'll get back into real radio or TV or something. Like, don't worry. It's like. It's like you said you played for the Yankees and now you're playing for the Mud Hands. And they had this thought of, like, well, you played good for the Mud Hens. Maybe you can make your way back into the Yankees rotation. And then over the last X amount of years, it just, it's funny as.

[Dave Smith]

A direction, as where it all goes. I. I was visionless to it because I. I know I've told you this before, but I. Early on, when Fuse Network was still a music channel, I pitched a TV show to them and. And they came back to me. They were like, well, we're gonna make you an offer, but it's not for tv. We're gonna do. And they call them webisodes. They go, but we're gonna do like 10 webisodes with you is the offer we're making. And I was like, fuck you. Nobody watches fucking stuff on the Internet like that. You want to put a show on the Internet so no one sees it? Okay, all right. Instead of the widely viewed Fuse channel.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll be taking this idea to MTV3. Thank you very much.

[Dave Smith]

MTV2, they didn't buy it either.

[Adam Carolla]

What. What's the comedy, I hate to say, scene? I mean, what's it like out there for you guys now? People always ask me all the time, as a comedian, are you censoring yourself now? Are you freaked out? You know, you scared you're going to get attacked on. On stage? I don't really have any of those.

[Big J Okerson]

Craig Robins was attacked on.

[Dave Smith]

I was attacked on stage. Yeah, he was.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he was a guy in. We were doing a show, Royersford Royers for Pennsylvania this is called Soldiers, and it's like a big white fella. It's not even a really. It's not even a real venue. Dude, this guy's hilarious. This guy, Soldier, he'll go to, like, a field and he'll set up, like a stage. And, like, it's byob. Byo. You have to bring your own chairs. So people show up in a field and he charges that money to enter this field that there's no gates for, there's no security.

[J]

Legally, I don't think he'd have any recourse if they said, I'm just not leaving.

[Dave Smith]

Maybe just took a chair.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta bring your own chairs. It's gotta be confusing and potentially dangerous with your girlfriend because you're like, it's. It's bring your own seat. She's like, fuck you. No, no, see? Yeah, I got it. No chair. Oh.

[Big J Okerson]

It's the best scam I've ever seen in my entire life. Just to be like, yep, we're here, The Star Comedy Club now. And you're just in a field.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So we're doing it and start collecting.

[Dave Smith]

Two dollar air taxes. So I need a tax for that air you're breathing right now.

[J]

Long story short, Jay's on stage, looks down. Jada Pinkett's in the crowd. She starts ripping on her a little bit.

[Dave Smith]

I give her a little razin.

[Big J Okerson]

No, what happened was you tell. Just tell us her. Because you actually tell it in your act now, which is too. So I don't want to.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah. But it's. Now the girl. There was a girl who was being loud and getting shitty during Lewis's set. And. And then when I went on rightfully.

[Big J Okerson]

So she was.

[Dave Smith]

She nailed that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dave Smith]

But then was taking it out on me. No, she was just like a problem. And I just was going back and forth with her and, like, winning, and her just hit like, a point where she just, like, got frazzled and started screaming. And then her brother just walked right down the middle of the aisle. And as I was thinking of the 30 different things that were gonna happen, how I was gonna handle this, very confident. In all 10 scenarios, the one I never saw coming was him just reaching up and grabbing my ankles on the stool and pulling me.

[Adam Carolla]

Like the stage was like five feet high.

[Big J Okerson]

So he pulled Jay off the stage. Luckily, the guy was drunk and just pulled Jay on top of him. So Jay just squashed him.

[Dave Smith]

No, I got. I was able to redirect it.

[Big J Okerson]

He was gonna.

[J]

I love that. I. I love you. Lewis said to me the Day after he's said, he goes, yeah, the way to fight Jay is not to pull him on top of you. It's like trying to fight a bookshelf by pulling it on top of you.

[Dave Smith]

I'll show you.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you guys. He pulled guard from on your trials and tribulations and road work and all that kind of stuff? Do you. Your travels, I should say. Do you guys find the most obnoxious people in the crowd were formerly hot chicks that are now in their early 50s, late 40s, who are drunk drunk, who act as if they're the 23 year old who got away with anything back in the day because there were smoke show, but now they're knocking on the door 40.

[J]

That's a bad.

[Adam Carolla]

And they're juiced up. And they're equally as obnoxious as they were when they're 23. It's just society's tolerance levels gone way down because it's not. They're not hot anymore.

[Big J Okerson]

Every time I start a show, I say, hey, turn the lights up, the house lights. And I get everyone to look at everyone, everyone's faces so we know who's really talking. Because those girls, they lurk in the shadows. You're right. Because they have blonde hair, you can't really see. And very often you're like, oh, it's a hot chick. Then when the lights come up, you're like, oh, no, she's just a formerly.

[Dave Smith]

Well, because she's a ghost of a. She's still, she's still the trophy though, for the guy because the guy she's with is still 20 years older than her.

[J]

And they also, you know, in the same way when you meet a guy like, you know, they say you're all in your own mind. You're always as famous as you were at your most famous. You know what I mean? Like, you'll meet somebody who was famous.

[Adam Carolla]

Once, he thinks he's still on the man show.

[Dave Smith]

Still walk around with that juice.

[J]

Yeah, no, the chicks are like that. They still think of themselves in their mind like they're like this prime piece of ass.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like when you see old fat guys fighting. They were the jocks in high school and now they're in their 60s. And you know, they, they, they have a, they're wearing a belt, you know, to keep their, to keep their gut in and everything. And they'll go at it.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because in their mind they're, they're 17.

[Dave Smith]

They think they look so cool doing it too. But I love dad fights is a great yeah. Genre of videos to watch because they go for it and it looks like their hits do hit like thunder because they're thick dudes.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, dads have tons of power.

[J]

The last thing to go is the power.

[Dave Smith]

But they're out. But they're, they're winded and just holding each other to stay up.

[Adam Carolla]

I do like when they get their second wind and go at it again, though, which I see a lot with dad fight.

[Dave Smith]

So, yeah, it's like an agreed upon, like, like headlock. Break these holes. And they're both like, I'm not gonna try to get out of this and you're not gonna try to squeeze it any tighter. We're gonna get our wits about us and start this back up again.

[Adam Carolla]

So, you guys, your pod is described as the most offensive podcast on Earth, which I, I'm here to say I, I, I probably second that emotion. You do things that are weird and embarrassing for not only yourselves, but those around you.

[J]

Sure, that's a good description.

[Big J Okerson]

A big part of that was, and this is very deliberate, we started calling it the most offensive podcast, or if this was Jay's idea, actually, because it makes people leave us alone. We're label. We're not tricking anybody. If you click on it and you're offended, you're a fucking moron. Why would you click on something called the Most offensive Podcast on Earth? So it's almost like, like it's dumb and almost like hacky. Like the, you know, the, the warning, like, you know, parental advisory warning. But we give you that warning preemptively. And I think it's one of the reasons why we haven't really gotten in that much shit for the things we do and say no.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it brings up a really good point because I, you know, during the whole sort of cancel culture and everyone's trying to silence everyone and get them de platformed and everything, I said, look, the only way out of this is if nobody apologizes ever again and we just get the fuck on with our lives. The problem is, is people keep apologizing, and once they label you as a person who apologizes, then they just come back for more. Sure. And I'm like, just don't do it. And, you know, people would say to me, like, oh, you say offensive shit all day long. You must get into trouble. You must have to. And I go, never, never. But I got onto a list who doesn't apologize early and often. And once you just put it out there with, which is sort of here. So I'm, I always Say it's like, Snoop Dogg smoking weed. He just went, I smoke weed. I smoke weed everywhere. This is what I do. And you. If you ever see Snoop Dogg, like, backstage or in the green room of the Tonight show or something, he's just smoking weed, and no one says anything because he's, like, grandfathered in. He's like an Indian with peyote. They just go, well, that's his culture. Leave him alone.

[J]

Because if you were to say. If you were to be like, oh, my God, you won't believe this. We booked Snoop Dogg, and then he was smoking weed.

[Adam Carolla]

Weed.

[J]

You're like, well, I mean, obviously, like, you booked him.

[Adam Carolla]

But if. Like, if. If Mike Rowe was sitting in the green room smoking a joint, someone would come in and go, hey, you can't do that here. What the. But they don't do it. So you, like, establish yourself as. That the headlines, and then you essentially get left alone. So you guys are.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it's bully culture because they want. They just want the reaction, right? So they want to see you move a little bit. They want to see the game gets you to sweat a little bit. And if you don't do it, they just move on to the next person because they need. They need the reaction. That is their currency, right?

[Dave Smith]

Where the good. We're the right ones to go for. I think comedians are the right ones because you can get us saying, ingest all the things you're looking for to some degree. And when you come at us, like, at the core, I'm not saying it's how the reaction goes exactly, but at the core of it, you're, like, bummed that someone's so angry about it.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, you want to.

[Dave Smith]

Your goal is making them laugh. And they're like, not only am I not laughing, I think you're a piece of shit for saying that you shouldn't.

[Big J Okerson]

Make money and your child shouldn't die. Yeah, I just made a joke.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah. It's like, oh, man. You could just. You know, there's other comics out there you'd like, probably.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you think there's a. So the question is kind of this. Because I talk to Dr. Drew about this all the time. Is there some sort of shift where people are swinging back toward the middle insanity, or are we going further apart and there's just a larger group. Group of people who aren't going to apologize, who are tired of the cancer cancel culture.

[J]

I think what's really interesting, like, the way you laid it out before, where there's, like, everyone used to do the network Studio thing. And now there's like, this alternative Internet world of shows. The thing that's interesting is it's not one or the other. It's not like the pendulum is going back or forth. It's like the pendulum for corporate America is still going crazy in the woke direction. And the pendulum in the alternative Internet thing is, like, way back the other way. Like, because no one ever really voted in woke shit. It's not like there was a consensus now, like, 80% of Americans were like, yeah, we. We find everything that, like, Chris Rock and Richard Pryor and George Carlin ever did isn't comedy anymore. That's too offensive. We want comedy to be this way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[J]

So they just. It's just like corporations kind of, like, forced it on people.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You know what? You know what it kind of is, as I think about it, it's a small group of people who. Who seem to speak for a lot of scared people. Because when you take a lot of their shit, like pronouns or Latinx or dudes swimming against chicks, most Americans are like, fuck that bullshit. I'm not a fucking retard. I'm not going along with that shit. But there's like, this really small group that is, like, setting, you know, trend, like Andy Warhol or something. It's like one guy, but the nation follows along with his art, you know, or print.

[J]

They have a big advantage. They have a big advantage, which is that that's their whole life. So, you know, like, there's things like, you know, like. Like there's like sugar quotas or something like that. Like, they tax sugar that comes into America. Everyone here pays, like, 3 cents more for sugar because of that. But it's worth, like $10 billion to some sugar company. So they're so incentivized to make sure that's in, whereas where it's, like, all mildly inconvenienced. So all the people you're talking about who are like, that's retarded. We don't believe in any of this. They also have a job and two kids and life. And they're not going to.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't give a shit that there's a transgender person. Starbucks commercial. Enough to go in that side.

[J]

That side will be picked outside your business or online. They will start a fucking harassment campaign. They'll. They'll dedicate so to the corporate CEO, he's like, look, none of these people are going to complain if I go in this woke direction, but if I don't do it, I'm going to just have this that 1% of America will never leave me alone until a Nazi.

[Big J Okerson]

Coffee company comes out and makes better coffee than Starbucks. I don't care what Starbucks political beliefs are.

[J]

How awesome would that be, though?

[Big J Okerson]

Straight up. Nazi coffee.

[J]

Nazi coffee, yeah.

[Dave Smith]

They're kicking out black kids. Sick.

[Adam Carolla]

The beans are the same. It's the roasting. Yeah. Well, I look at it sort of like. It's like that whole movement, this whole minority of people that somehow speak for all of us. It's like you're on the set and there's 50 people on the set, but the person that's doing craft service and making the run for the lunch is vegan. And so they're like, all right, we'll have one chicken parm and 700 vegan sandwiches, you know? And then they return and everyone goes, what the fuck? We didn't sign up for this. And they go, you want to be called a racist? You want to be called a Nazi? You want to be called a homophobe? And they go, oh, fuck it. I'll just eat the lettuce sandwich. And that's kind of where we are. It's like a small subgroup that is setting the trends for everyone. But people like Netflix have had to sort of unwoke themselves a little bit because corporations are kind of finding that going down this road, just sort of blindly, you know, following the trans movement, whoever their conductor is waving as one, and them doing what they want. They're kind of figuring out that that's not working out with the average American, and they're kind of having to change direction a little bit.

[Dave Smith]

Someone showed me a meme yesterday that was like. It was like, trans men intersex people and something. Something like, need their abortion rights, too, or something like that. There's like, an already, like, difficult situation going on. It's just like, what about trans. The impossibility of a trans man getting an abortion. Why don't we get worried about that? But I think it's funny, too, with the. Whenever I've been, like, criticized or Louis or Dave, like, for joke stuff at all. I like the term when they go, you're punching down. Which I think is like its own backhanded insult, you know? I mean, it seems more inclusive to kind of make fun of it. Yeah, I did, but she was 4 foot 5. It doesn't.

[J]

He was literally punching down.

[Dave Smith]

I was punching down.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Dave Smith]

Do you know what I'm saying, though? They're like, why? It's like, why are you picking on this lowly piece of. Who can't Defend itself, this trans thing, you know, I mean, that's how they're almost saying.

[J]

But you're kind of. But it's also. They have a whole backward vision of what up and down is. So like, they'll. You're like, no, I'm not really punching down at some trans person. I'm punching kind of up at the dominant ideology that you're not allowed to question. So it's like there, you know, same thing where it's like, you know, they'll see like some white trucker as like privileged and Michelle Obama as like the oppressed class. It's like, now you actually have this whole thing fucking wrong anyway. And comedy isn't really about punching up or down. It's just about being funny. Yeah, but it is, I think. I mean, I think the trans thing, honestly, is almost where the woke have overplayed their hand. I saw a poll recently that said that less people today. But I forget exactly what it was. I would say believe in the trans ship, but it was like, do you believe that someone can change their gender? Some question like that. And it was like 15 points lower today than it was like seven years ago. And I was like, that's kind of interesting that the more they're pushing it, the more people are like just being comfortable to say, like, I'm not saying I'm gonna be a dick to anyone or not call them what they want to be called. But if you ask me, can a man just decide he's a woman now? No. Well, it's not a real thing from.

[Adam Carolla]

Like a psychodynamic standpoint point. It feels to me like they're just going to test you. And that's why they keep going. So they start where they go. Would it be okay for two men to get married? What do you think? And you go, seems weird because I'm old, but okay as long as they don't have kids. Yeah, like, I'm. I'm. You know, I'm. I'm fine with that.

[J]

We're talking two whites here, right?

[Dave Smith]

Yeah, I was with a David's health joke. A man should be able to marry a man as long as you're the same race.

[Adam Carolla]

So they. They kind of go. They go, here's where we are. And then you go, okay. And then they go, all right, let's talk pronouns. And you go, why? And they go, you know, because some people identify as different. You go, okay. Seems lame, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't even get there. I still to this day, I can't.

[J]

Go, Lewis, Hit this button when you've got gone too far. Can 2 gay. I'm out. Take me off this ride.

[Big J Okerson]

It's crazy.

[J]

I'm going back to 1992.

[Adam Carolla]

Pronouns are insane too. I don't get them, but I think the plan is then they go, and then how about a dude who calls himself a she so he can go into women's prisons and rape them? And then you go, oh, I'm not. Oh, so you're fucking a hater, are you? But my thing is that's my last.

[Dave Smith]

Ditch effort if I ever have to go to jail. Jail.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm a woman.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm a trans woman. Let's party.

[Dave Smith]

I'm a trans woman and I am ready to go to jail.

[Adam Carolla]

Doesn't it feel like there's some shitty stepdaughter who's testing the boundaries? Like, she goes, how about my curfew's a 10? And you go, okay. And then they go, how about 11? And you go, and then you go, she goes, how about I do coke at midnight with this Puerto Rican guy in your bedroom? You know? And they go, oh, so you hate women? Women, you know, and you're like, no, I, I, we started in a semi normal place. It took you 10 seconds to get to dudes with beating up on chicks in swimming pools. Yeah, and, and no, we're not down with that. But that doesn't mean we didn't sign up, sign off on the beginning part of it, which is guys can marry.

[Big J Okerson]

I think we all go, cool. If you want to have a, or not a cock, have fun. It's your body. I, I think most people, I think you talk to 99% of the people in the United States that go do whatever you want to do with your cock.

[Dave Smith]

That's what I think.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't.

[Dave Smith]

That's what I kind of say is that's why I verbal. If you want to cut your off it, go ahead. You can't make me not think it's weird. I think it's weird.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it's weird that you have two nose rings. I got to think that this chick without it with a is normal. That's crazy.

[J]

Well, it's the same way. You can't demand. It's. It's like it's a religion, which is like really what it is. Right? And in the same way that it's like, hey, if you want to go be a Christian. Oh, okay, you're a Christian and you believe you have a relationship with Jesus Christ and you kind of believe your atheist friend is going to go burn in a pit of fire for all of eternity. And your atheist friend kind of believes you're delusional. Like, that's just, you know, without saying it like that that's kind of what you believe.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys can still go play golf together.

[J]

You can't demand that that person has to participate in your delusion. Like, you must also believe in the same thing as me.

[Dave Smith]

I don't mind participating in it. The frustration I get is if someone looks like a woman, but they're going by he. The correction of that when someone goes like, miss. And they're already like. And you're like, come on. Like, you have to at least give one shot to be like, you know, like, oh, it's actually, I'm, you know, I mean, I, I, it's obvious why you would say that. But here's. I prefer this. No one's. It's always right to like, like anger culture me, miss.

[Adam Carolla]

But so do you guys. So my take on it is it's less about the movement and more about how much can I move you, how much can I manipulate you, how much can I control over you? It's like black lives matter. Like, when I did a doc called no Safe Spaces, and the guy from Evergreen University and Brett Weinstein, I think it was. And it's like they had a day without black students or something. And he's this liberal college professor at a super liberal college college. And he was like, all right, well, well, a day out of every year, no black students as a protest or whatever. And they're fine. And they did it.

[Big J Okerson]

Was that the white people's idea or the black people's idea?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, all of the, all of the black people's ideas now are former white people ideas like separate college doors, separate graduations. Is that worse than a drinking?

[Big J Okerson]

All the races were like, yeah, dude, no black people.

[J]

This, there's all these black power people who was like, we will pick your cotton on this plantation.

[Dave Smith]

This university is Evergreen.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. No, they're all, they're all racist ideas of the past. They've just kind of repackaged into our ideas.

[Dave Smith]

Sports program goes to.

[Adam Carolla]

But so they, nobody showed up at Evergreen. It was a football powerhouse. And, and all the, and the black students, they did it for a while. And then a certain point point they were like, oh, this isn't good enough because everyone's doing what we asked them to do. We must ask them to do more. So we asked you to drop and give us 20, you gave us 20. Now we're bored, you got to drop and give us 50, right? So they said, now nobody shows up. White, black, professors, whatever. And this guy, he's a progressive guy and he's just like, I came here to teach. I respect what you guys are doing, but I'll be there Monday to teach. And if anyone wants to show up, I'll be there. They went ballistic. They surrounded the classroom. He was in danger for his life. They wouldn't call the cops because, you know, the dean was scared that the presence of the cops would anger the partisan crowd. And it just all spiraled out of control and he had to quit. Death threats and everything. And it's like this guy's life is.

[Big J Okerson]

Ruined because he's wanted to teach.

[J]

Well, he actually became like Internet fame off of it.

[Big J Okerson]

The plot of Dangerous Minds yeah, she showed up, right now I'm gonna teach.

[Dave Smith]

Get your privileged ass out of here. Wait a second. She's turning that chair around. Okay, I'm listening.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So many of my teachers look like Michelle Pfeiffer when I was.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah, I don't have any teachers in a tight leather jacket.

[Adam Carolla]

So I think it's just, I think it's there to manipulate. I think these are just angry, fucked up people and I just think they're taking it out.

[Big J Okerson]

That's fun. It's also like if you, when you're bored, you have nothing to do and you're not creating anything or you're not having, you know, probably anything truly worthwhile going on in your life. The biggest currency in your life is clicks and likes. And you get to feel like you're doing something important. You get to feel like you're, you're, you know, part of some sort of social justice.

[Dave Smith]

They are, I mean, not part of social justice, but they, they make moves, things move because of it. It's like you said before, one person apologizing ruins it. For the people that aren't apologizing anyway.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I get to be a part of collectively something like. So instead of them just doing something that people like by themselves, right? Like I created this piece of content and people like, this is great. They get to be a part of this big gigantic movement. Look, I did this. But they didn't really.

[J]

Most of them aren't even creating content really, or wouldn't be without that. You got to think, right, like if you look at, like the way we look at the world versus the way the social justice warriors look at the world and then think about what we're offering, like that one of those 20 year old kids who is protesting? Weinstein at Evergreen.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[J]

So what they offer that kid is, okay, here's your role in the world. You are in this epic battle against this villain and you're making a difference.

[Big J Okerson]

And you are fighting Avenger.

[J]

You are really like in this, like you're basically the one standing up for the Jews in Nazi Germany. You are this hero and it's like.

[Dave Smith]

Two weeks ago you were just. Greg.

[J]

Yeah. And what we're offering you is you're a 20 year old idiot idiot who doesn't know anything about anything. You know, you need to fucking get in the lab and start working because you've done nothing, accomplished nothing and shouldn't feel good about yourself. So like who's gonna win that battle for most of those 20 year old kids? Yeah, like who's the person who's offering them this role in a, in a fan?

[Dave Smith]

So they recruit white supremacists like in that, that's the way they kind of recruit them with that. It's like you're just some dude. You could be a part of something, like much better and you could get.

[J]

All your evil out on one group. Blame all your problems on this one thing.

[Dave Smith]

What like you have, you have something to focus on every day.

[Adam Carolla]

They like what I think what Dave is saying, it's like, look, I want to propose universal income. Everyone gets a. Everyone who makes less than 50 grand a year gets a thousand bucks a month. Let's take a vote. It's like, well, yeah, let's take a vote. You're going to fucking win. Because more people make less than 50 and want a free, you know, and.

[J]

Really only in that situation, only people making above 50 should get vote.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[J]

No one making under 50 should vote over whether these guys give us some of their money. Because you kind of have a conflict of interest there anyway. That's why democracy is bullshit.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I agree. I remember Santa Monica is like the most blowhardy city on the, on the planet. And you know, like Wells Fargo at their ATM was charging three bucks for whatever and they thought it was gouging, you know, the city of Santa Monica, 3 bucks bucks for getting 80 bucks out of the ATM. And I was like, well don't go then, or work it out or have another bank across the street, I'll charge two bucks and then they'll get the business. And so Santa Monica put it to a vote and the people are like, nah, we think three bucks is too much. And I said, why don't you fuckers put parking tickets to a vote? Parking tickets are 42 bucks. Let's put you a vote. Who thinks it'd be $9, raise your hand, citizens of Santa Monica, off. But I know you're Libertarian, right? And I want to talk about that because I think people, they think of like, Bill Maher's a libertarian. I, I guess. And, but I don't know. You're shaking your head. I, I'm trying to think of.

[Big J Okerson]

Dave is a snobby libertarian. You start throwing non libertarians at him.

[J]

No, I don't think we'll take a real piece of. I don't think Bill Maher will come.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I've never seen somebody so condescending.

[J]

No, I'm, I just don't think, I think he's a progressive. Like, I think he's, he's one who hasn't lost his mind on some of these like, woke issues. So he's like, he makes, he's right. He's still kind of like he was principled enough and enough of an old school liberal that he's not like, oh, I'm going with whatever is. The last five minutes is like the new fat. But I'm like a Ron Paul, like real, like, I fucking am libertarian on everything. But I, you know, I like when Bill Maher's good on stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Where's libertarian come down? I think of myself as that way, you know, by and large. But like, where do you come down on, like, the border, the southern border? What would a libertarian stand? Well, there's a lot of southern border. There's a lot of.

[Big J Okerson]

This whole segment's gonna be B and J, like dogs watching volleyball.

[Dave Smith]

I mean, they want to build a wall to keep Mexicans out, but who's going to build the wall? You hear this, you see this in the news.

[J]

But there's a lot of libertarians disagree on this. Me personally, I'm like, I'm fine with border controls. I don't think you can have open borders in like a first world country. And I think the immigration system we have right now is insane. Yeah, I think you can't, you can't just have hundreds of thousands of people flooding in that the domestic population had no say in whether they come in or don't come in. And then it's kind of like, oh, all the stuff that's here that's been worked for, that we've paid tax into just belongs to the world now. Or whoever gets here, I think is kind of.

[Big J Okerson]

What are you. What a soul, Joel. In sergeant this country.

[J]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So for Jane Lewis, now, let's talk Banging skank on the road. I want to keep it even once.

[Dave Smith]

We'Ve done together or separate.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you have some good banging skank on the road stories?

[Dave Smith]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Together or together?

[Big J Okerson]

Separately. The three of us.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah. No, it's been a gross world. I mean, we've all been doing this since we were like in our early 20s, essentially, you know, so. Yeah, on the.

[J]

There was a time where there was never any.

[Big J Okerson]

It was a time where it was like there was no money in it. So all it was was literally about trying to get after the shows.

[Dave Smith]

I mean. I mean, completely about the. Yeah, the money was.

[Adam Carolla]

Did they show up? Did the women show up for you intentionally thinking, I'm gonna blow this guy or I'm gonna get laid or I'm gonna.

[Dave Smith]

Now that happens.

[J]

Back then, you would have had to have been one crazy bitch to show up. When we were completely on.

[Big J Okerson]

Back then, it was a woman that was willing to fuck an ugly failing comedian after a show without anybody in the crowd. Crowd. It is a sad type of woman.

[Adam Carolla]

But now you're saying sometimes they come.

[Dave Smith]

Out with a mission.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Can you tell?

[Dave Smith]

Yeah, they're usually a little heavier than me.

[J]

They sit in a certain section.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't fuck them on that stool.

[Dave Smith]

No, they're pretty blunt, I think, if they. If they want some. But no, but back then, yeah, that was always the thing too, like. Because after you really had to like, schmooze if anything like that was going to happen a bit.

[Big J Okerson]

Because, like, me and Jay would go to a town and we would. This is when. Before there was anything closer resembling apps, there was Craigslist, casual encounters. And I mean, I wish you. You could somebody. Oh, man, you remember this dude.

[Dave Smith]

Now you could go.

[Big J Okerson]

There's a thing called like time Hop or one of these things where you could find it. I. It's out there. I wish somebody could send this to us. But we would post ads of like, two entertainers. We wouldn't put comedian, like two entertainers coming in.

[Dave Smith]

Looking for some.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you really do that? Yeah, Looking for some fun. Nothing serious.

[J]

I've never heard this story.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, dude. Every time.

[J]

Hilarious.

[Big J Okerson]

We'd show up in Rhode island, no strings attached.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Dave, I was review.

[Dave Smith]

I was making Libertarian dollars for the weekend.

[Adam Carolla]

Libertarian corporate tax.

[J]

Go abolish it. 0.

[Adam Carolla]

No corporate tax stock to poon on the road again. What is protocol? Because after a set, like I was just in Springfield, Missouri. It was about 103 degrees outside. A lot of humidity. Club hot, lights hot. You work. You do an hour Set up there. You're working up a sweat.

[Dave Smith]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And I feel like I don't. You know, I've. I've played organized football and ridden a unicycle, but I don't feel like my balls ever smelled more than walking off stage. And do you. What's protocol? You shower up or is it back before you Back. Yeah, no, but part of the experience for them. Like, they don't want clean balls. That's not what they signed up.

[Dave Smith]

I've never had an issue with that, but. Except for one girl asked me if I could jump in the shower, which made me so insecure when she said that. Of course, I think she had my wiener on.

[Big J Okerson]

Can you call a friend?

[Adam Carolla]

Could you jump into that douche vat? She.

[Dave Smith]

She goes, I'm going to assume this is something that'll go away with a shower, so if you wouldn't mind.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So did the carbuncle go away with.

[Dave Smith]

A little loofah work? But, yeah, I think a girl that's.

[Big J Okerson]

Into me or you, Jay, is going to be into a little bit of ball stench.

[Dave Smith]

I don't think I have ball stench.

[J]

Well, according to that girl who wanted you to shower.

[Dave Smith]

Very over hygienic. And also. But also. I mean, I'm shout. Usually when I do shows, especially on the road, I take a shower like an hour before I leave for the show, but I sit on stage, so it's not really much sweating. And. Yeah, no, I'm never that worried about that.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't get the. You don't get the schizy up. Up on stage, huh?

[Dave Smith]

No, and I get. I'd be pretty insecure if I thought I did stink or something.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, Jay also gets botox injections to stop his sweating.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Smith]

In my armpit hits.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. All right.

[Big J Okerson]

That's known. I'm not just shouting something out. Yeah, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

So how many who spang more skanks on the road? Louis?

[Dave Smith]

If it's me, it'd only be because I've been doing it longer. But Lewis, probably for volume.

[Big J Okerson]

They're loud. Loud.

[J]

I think you always were. I mean, I'm. I've been out of the game for.

[Dave Smith]

A few years, but even though pulling like Lewis always was selling tickets, those.

[J]

On the street had the highest number.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I started in comedy by promoting comedy clubs. I'd walk in the Times Square and I'd be like, hey, you want to go see a comedy show? And that was like the best pickup line in the world because very often they were like, no, but then you start finding out all this information about them.

[Dave Smith]

Would you like to feast on this? It was a different time, Adam. Different time.

[Adam Carolla]

So now is it weird now, you know, everybody on. On the Internet posting stuff like you would be a conquest for them. They'd want to talk about it. They'd want to get.

[Dave Smith]

I think the scariest thing is the. Is the young female comic. Because, like I said, the conversations I would have to say to have you feel comfortable in that because of the Louis thing, the assumed, like, power dynamic versus being like, a guy who's talking to a pretty girl and trying to have sex with her. It's like, well, I had to have.

[Big J Okerson]

Sex, but I also sort of talking about earlier, right? I just don't subscribe to that horse. I'm not in a position of power. These women are all in a position of power. Let's.

[J]

I'm just a guy holding a knife, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I'm telling you right now, chicks have so much power. And when you're talking about, like, power dynamic. I'm sorry, just because I've been doing comedy a little bit longer.

[Dave Smith]

I'm not agreeing with it. I'm just saying it's the nerves of that, though, is like, if I was like.

[J]

But that is believed. I agree with you. I think it's crazy when they talk about power dynamics. Like, you, when you see girls wearing, like, crazy slutty outfits, you know, in this neighborhood in the summertime or something. Like, that's all a power dynamic. That's them walking around like, I know you all want what I have, but the world doesn't look at it that way. So I got. I met my wife, and we started dating 2017. So I got out of the, like, hooking up with chicks game right as the MeToo movement started. But, like, I would think that would really be, like, I'd be concerned about that. No, I just like any chick now at this point, I don't pretend to.

[Big J Okerson]

Be a nice guy guy. Like, I think the. The guys who get in trouble for that are.

[J]

It's like the same theory as most offensive podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

It's 100% the most.

[J]

Welcome to L. J Gomez, most rapey comic on earth. Who wants to hook up. You knew what you were getting into.

[Dave Smith]

I branded it Lewis. No means yes, Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, it's. It's true, though.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to. You want a headline? Talk to the.

[Big J Okerson]

I have dated a decent amount of female comedians as well, and, you know, you're just sort of in the business together. It's just easy to like, hook up.

[Dave Smith]

But I'm saying all it matters is who's more like, popular in the world, other people. To make that argument. I don't think it's a valid argument. I'm saying that argument can be made. I'm saying my point, Louie, let me say this. Let me say I don't think Louie, if I make. I don't think Louie was thinking, like, I'm gonna hit on these chicks and they're gonna go for it because I'm Louis ck. Do you know what I mean? I think he was as like bashfully trying to hook up as he would with anybody.

[Big J Okerson]

I think Louie probably had more balls to do it and to take the shot because he's Louie. And more girls probably say yes because not because it's a power dynamic, because he's Louie.

[Dave Smith]

There isn't.

[Big J Okerson]

He's fucking talented as fuck. That's an attractive quality.

[J]

Women are attracted to status. That's like the whole thing, status. It's weird that they try to flip that on its head. Like, oh, you're. You're abusing your status. It's like, it's literally like you saying to a chick, like, oh, you're abusing the fact that you're hot.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[J]

It's like, that's what men want in a chick. And what women want is status.

[Dave Smith]

Adam, do you ever see the movie? Was the Greg Kinnear movie about Bob Crane?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Smith]

Auto Focus.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dave Smith]

That was best, like when he got older to get. When he just wanted to get, like towards the end, he would just go to a bar and be like, hickey pop on Channel 5 bartender, and it'll be Hogan's Heroes, which is his show. And he'd just be sitting there and like the girls walk up and be like, excuse me, is that you? And he'd go, oh, that is embarrassing. Yeah. A million years ago though, right? And just like start the conversation like that. But like, that is pretty hilarious. Yeah, but again, it is like the thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I bet LeBeau would try the same shit. Yeah, he was a French guy from the show Women.

[Big J Okerson]

A guy being, you know, confident. Success. Success is like sort of a sign. It's not even the money. I don't think women, women, most young chicks aren't really attracted to money. That's not it. It's how somebody who has money carries themselves is attractive.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's you on stage in commanding the audience. Because so many guys and so many shitty bands we've never heard of have hot ass girlfriends. And it's not even on the hopes that they're going to turn into a huge stadium band. It's just that guy's on stage, we're not. He's there, we're here. There's 300 of us, there's one of him, and there's another 150 bitches in this place don't want to suck his dick. And I'm going to get there first.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[J]

Because it's a more primal thing than even money. It predates money, it predates wealth. It's status. It's who's the leader of this fucking tribe versus who's everybody following that, that leader. Like it's, it's a. Now that that correlates with money, you know, like people who have high status are more likely to also have money in general. But it's not the money thing per se.

[Adam Carolla]

They like the success that got them the money and the drive that got them the money and the status that got them the money. And then the money is a byproduct of all the things they're attracted to. But by the way, they'll take that.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah, I've never, I've never, I've never. I'm not a strip club guy very much. And also for the reason is when I go in there, I'm just like. I always assume that I'm like one of the people they're washing off themselves at night, you know, I mean like I had to let this guy grab my ass, whatever. And you staring at me. I lost my train of thought.

[Big J Okerson]

So and so insecure. You think that. I think you'd be probably of a higher caliber for strip club.

[Dave Smith]

Maybe. But when I. When I did this last weekend, because I'm nine. Yeah. Because I wanted. Because I wanted to see that placement documentary that I told everyone, if you want to do like meet and greet and take pictures and stuff to go to the strip club and going in there and just. They don't. They had no fucking idea who I was, the strippers, at all. Not one of them recognized me at all. But the fucking 50, some 70 people that were there, like getting stoked that I was there and wanting to take pictures and stuff. Like it drew them all over. It was pretty wacky.

[Big J Okerson]

So what you're saying is a great way to manipulate these women is to have them all meet you.

[Dave Smith]

I might do meet and greets exclusively, strictly. I don't think it's a terrible idea.

[Adam Carolla]

It'll completely work you. They do not need a direct channel to recognition the 22 year old everybody else's who ran away from Arkansas and it's taken a couple classes at juco doesn't know the you are, but the seven guys that are in their 40s do know. And that's enough for her to wander over somebody.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you remember that viral video a few years ago? It was like these kids, they were like. It was, it was, it was before Tick tock, but it was probably YouTube. And these kids were like, we're going to pretend that our friend's a celebrity at the mall today and we're going to just see if we can create enough buzz. And like five kids went in and they like three of them be talking like, oh, dude, you know that Tommy Toucans is here or whatever. And yeah, and he'd be walking through. He was a good looking kid, right? And then you look like your name.

[Dave Smith]

Should be Tommy Toucans.

[Big J Okerson]

Within an hour, there's like literally crowds of people around this kid taking pictures with him, asking for autographs.

[J]

Nobody knows your last two album sucked. Let's get a real strong opinion.

[Dave Smith]

Meanwhile, what's funny? And you, have you had this ever where someone comes up and like some people are asking for autographs and then usually an older shitty lady comes up and goes, I don't know who you are, but can I take a bit? But can I take a picture? I guess because you're so, you're like, why?

[Adam Carolla]

I will tell you, I've had that 1 million times. And they never stop. They go, I don't know who you are. I don't think you're that much of a thing. Evidently other people. And I just want to go, hit the fucking bricks, cunt. I had a guy, I had two women once. They came up to me, I was out front of Jimmy's Theater 15 years ago or something and they were like, you're the man. Show guys like, yeah, my, my, our, our, our husbands are huge, huge fans. Could we get a picture? And I was like, yeah, we'll get a picture. Us, not so much, but our husbands are huge fans of the show. And I was like, all right, it would make their day. We, we don't, we didn't really appreciate the man shots. All right, let's just take the picture. The third time, they came back three times with, you know, we're not really fans. We found it a little offensive. But I was like, no picture. And they were like, what? And I was like, fuck you. And they're like, what? I was like, I sat there silently for the first insult, the second insult, the third insult, I'M fucking leaving.

[J]

There's such a weird thing. Women don't understand how to be humans. You can't just insult someone and ask a favor from.

[Dave Smith]

I know. You get to too. Then there's the sandbagging of the husband because the husband's a fan. And they'll be like, hey, here, this is my husband. He's a who wants to suck your dick. So would you mind taking a picture with him?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dave Smith]

Why are you deballing all. All of us feel weird.

[J]

I've had that. I've had that and had the opposite way, too. I've had girls who are fans who are there with their guy and will be like. They'll be like, oh, my God, I'm a huge fan. I love everything you do. He doesn't even know anything. He's like a total idiot. And you're like, I'm uncomfortable that he's allowing this.

[Dave Smith]

You got to over shake his hand and be like, hey, dude, thanks for coming out, man. I appreciate it.

[J]

It's so awkward. Like, why are you letting your chick.

[Big J Okerson]

Just control your woman, dude?

[J]

Yeah.

[Dave Smith]

Or girls say it goes in front of their boyfriends if they're a fan. Like, you're one of my hall passes. Like, in front of the guy, you're like, okay, man, why are you making us all feel so weird and you.

[Adam Carolla]

Have to fuck in the hall? Or can we go inside? All right, so it's been a fun conversation. We're talking about getting laid on the road. We're talking about the libertarian lifestyle.

[Dave Smith]

What Overlap.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, let me ask you. Libertarian body cams on cops, good or bad?

[J]

I like it. Overall, I guess it doesn't really matter if nothing happens.

[Adam Carolla]

The thing about body cams on cops is it actually turns out that less brutality the claims come in really actually helps the cops. Yeah.

[J]

Because the story is always like, he shot that black guy, and then the body cam is like, the black guy stabbed him in the face.

[Adam Carolla]

Or it's just like he pulled. You know, he pulled me over. He was rude. He pulled me out of the car. He pushed me around. And then the body cam says, he said, Ma'am, 16.

[J]

But that's kind of good. So that's good for that. Everyone, honestly, cops too, who abuse their authority.

[Big J Okerson]

So I got pulled over in Brooklyn for the first time since I got my license back. I just moved to dinner, Jersey, like, a year and a half ago during the pandemic. So I got my license as an adult.

[J]

I mean, you see this guy in this shirt driving a $60,000 car. You're not going to pull him over.

[Adam Carolla]

I call for backup before I hit the rollers.

[J]

I'm calling him the FBI.

[Dave Smith]

He couldn't look more like a drug dealer.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I could pull over for my tinted windows on my car. My, my, my tent was too dark and. But the guy, what a different. I hadn't been pulled over in 20 some odd years. Right. This is how long it's been since I got pulled over by a cop. And I remember back in the day, the cop would pull you over like, damn, bank, bank knock. You know, it's like I fucking. And the attitude, the energy from cops.

[J]

First off, I just want to say black lives matter.

[Big J Okerson]

I got my hands on the like back in the day. Like I'm like, like genuinely nervous. Now granted, back in the day I did have an ounce of weed under my seat and a gun in the car.

[J]

Now you have an ounce of weed in the passenger seat.

[Big J Okerson]

It's legal.

[Adam Carolla]

I love it.

[Big J Okerson]

But I still have like the anxiety. But the cop came over, rolled down my window and he had his. He goes, he was like. Just want you to know my name is officer Sanchez. I'm from the 55th Precinct. You are on body. You know, I have my, my body cam on right now. Just want to let you know. Do you know why you were pulled over? As respectful as could be. I think the cameras similarly to how like if you have a security camera in a store, it's just keeping you honest. If you see the camera, you're probably not gonna do something legal. It's keeping them honest. Everyone knows, look, we gotta be on the up and up right now because there's a fucking camera on us. So I think it's only a good thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's that whole security camera stopped that bodega situation right in its track.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[J]

And we saw exactly what happened and they still charged the guy with mural.

[Adam Carolla]

I think cops sort of have to worry about the camera criminals for some reason. Like, I thought surveillance cameras were going to stop people from stealing shit from people's porches or Robin seven elevens or Bottegas. It seems like they've just went further.

[Dave Smith]

But what it has made though is my face. One of my favorite kind of like YouTube videos is people sneaking around when they're completely on like perfect high def camera.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dave Smith]

Like stealing packages and you just sitting there watching them. Like a full color picture of them, like looking left and right a hundred times.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's an idea. Tell me where you guys. Maybe it's a libertarian idea. I Don't know. A lot of guys get pulled over for tint on the window, and it seems like a disproportionate men of color get pulled over with that limo tint. It's illegal to ride around with that tint tin. I would argue that a black man is harder to see through a tint than, let's say, Ed Sheeran.

[Dave Smith]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And so I would argue that the tint should come off the color your skin and there should be a grade like you're lighter skin.

[Big J Okerson]

I should be able to have a darker tint.

[Adam Carolla]

You should have a darker tint than, let's say, you know, Wiz Khalifa. Yeah. Who couldn't get away with a 30%.

[J]

He shouldn't be able to have windows at all.

[Adam Carolla]

You got to see.

[Dave Smith]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

In convertible. No windshield.

[Dave Smith]

In New York, Sheehan looks when you. Like when you put a flashlight on a fake tit.

[Big J Okerson]

In New York, it has to be. You have to be able to see, I guess, 70% through the window and.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

My tint was. Are you. I guess it has to be no more than 30%. In New York, my tint was 76% because they had a little tint thing. It's like they invented this just for Puerto Ricans. A whole device that registers the tint of your window.

[J]

So the cop measures it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[J]

When he pulls you over.

[Big J Okerson]

He put it on my window and it was like, yeah, dude, you're 76% of your window. You can't see through.

[Adam Carolla]

How can you see out even from the inside?

[Big J Okerson]

I actually, I asked my detailer. I was like, I want to have the darkest. That could legally be allowed. And they were like, yeah. And apparently it's way darker than it's legally allowed.

[Adam Carolla]

You can do the rear windows. You can do the passenger windows.

[Dave Smith]

I think that looks weird.

[Adam Carolla]

You can do the rear. It does look weird back. And you can do the rear window, but you can't do the two side ones, at least in. In California.

[Big J Okerson]

What is.

[J]

What is the appeal of the tint? Why do you want. It just looks cooler.

[Big J Okerson]

What's appeal of a nice car?

[J]

No, no.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm just asking you to, you know, used.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[J]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Honda. No.

[J]

It's a fair enough answer. I was just curious.

[Adam Carolla]

Cars look cooler with tints. Like, you'll notice when they photograph cars for brochures and stuff, the windows are always sort of dark.

[J]

Like, it just.

[Adam Carolla]

It looks better. Like when it's a little lower.

[Big J Okerson]

And it keeps cool. It keeps it cool as well. So my. My tinted windows specifically have like a Solar thing where it keeps the car cooler, which was more expensive, like the wrapping or whatever. But it's. Yeah. You know, it's just making it look a little bit cooler. I don't have my. My windows aren't like blacked out completely. They're just kind of tinted. I don't know. Wanna have a cool looking car?

[Adam Carolla]

Let's. I did that as a gift for a woman once. Like, like to me, that was a very thoughtful gift. Like for your birthday, I will tint the windows of your car. Car. She didn't see it that way. And I kind of think that's the difference between car. Was it men and women? It was a Scion. All right, let's get back to skank on the road.

[Dave Smith]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

I like how confident you are about the non showering and ball washing.

[Dave Smith]

No, it's not.

[Adam Carolla]

Not.

[Dave Smith]

It's. It's not confident. If I.

[J]

You just ruined Jay's life. He's going to shower every time.

[Adam Carolla]

But he did have the one request.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Self conscious about it for the next conversation.

[Dave Smith]

No, it wasn't too bad. It wasn't like she got in there, was like, oh, maybe you should take a shower. She was like, you don't shower like after shows or something. I was like, no, not really. And she was like, would it be crazy if I said like, would you? I was like, sure, I just jumped in.

[Big J Okerson]

But that's just her being a germaphobe. I don't think it was a commentary.

[Dave Smith]

No, no, that's what I'm saying. That didn't insult me. I'm just saying it's the only time I've ever taken a shower.

[Adam Carolla]

When you got out, where was she? Was she still fully dressed? Still hanging around, taking a shit in the bathroom?

[Dave Smith]

Like, where was she? I think she was naked already. But I've also like, I've. Florida, I remember, is a city where. Yeah, sorry, Orlando is a place I remember. Or maybe it was like west coast, particularly sweaty. I got laid down there once and it was like I had to push the person like off for a little bit. Cause I was like, I have to go back to the hotel. Cause I knew that was just like a humid Florida thing.

[Big J Okerson]

But if I eat really bad, dude, anytime I it like if I'm just. If I. If I'm not dieting, well, like I feel like I have to at all times. That's when I'll get very self conscious. If I'm like on top of a chicken. I said like a bad meal. I'm like tightening my the whole time. Because I feel at any given moment I could just let out a fart.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah, I was trying to have a big meal for several hours before I would hook up.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you guys see that? I don't know if it was Postmates or Grubhub or whatever it is, is for Pride Month. They gave the diet out for bottoms.

[J]

One of these guys here showed me that. A couple.

[Adam Carolla]

Crazy.

[Dave Smith]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

It's crazy.

[Dave Smith]

Keep your clean.

[Big J Okerson]

It was cra. It was. No, it wasn't. Uber Eats. Cuz I download. I, I, I ended up deleting the app as a joke. Just being funny. I posted a video being like, see you later, Grubhub or whatever it was. But then I also had Grindr and a bunch of gay apps on it in the video, which was. Yeah, it's just so, it's just so. It's pandering. Who gives a. I don't want to.

[J]

It's weird pandering.

[Big J Okerson]

Very weird.

[J]

It's weird pandering because this doesn't just apply to bottoms. This would apply to anyone who gets in the ass. Like any chick who takes anal.

[Big J Okerson]

And also, I don't want my Just such a weird food delivery.

[Dave Smith]

Chicken thigh, lettuce wraps. Are you thinking about bottoming tonight?

[J]

It's the most unappetizing thought.

[Big J Okerson]

Stay out of the bedroom. I don't care about, I don't care about my app. Like, we, we discussed regular, you know, headwinds, heterosex. And that's very normal. It's like, no, my food app should not be discussing regular heterosex. You should be delivering me food. And that's that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, right. So you guys are like me. It's like, it's not so much that you recognize this. It just feels like pure pandering.

[Big J Okerson]

Right. Like it's annoying.

[Adam Carolla]

M&MS. Is coming out in the gay flag color. You guys don't give two fucking shits about this. You don't give two shits about Black Lives Matter. You don't give two shit about the gay community. You don't give a about any of these people.

[Dave Smith]

Well, watching in New York, that was interesting. I lived on a police station block through all the Black Lives Matter stuff and watching those all. Every riot not right, but the protest, that was some turn into riots.

[Adam Carolla]

There we go.

[Dave Smith]

That would go down the street. It was like you saw people like that I believed were mad. You know what I mean? Genuinely mad and hurt and whatever they were going through emotionally. And then just six chicks dressed in like short shorts, like following it like making kissy faces and like face like filming themselves doing it. And that's fucking pretty gross. That's exactly like.

[Adam Carolla]

So that's.

[Dave Smith]

But those girls put up black screens on the Tuesday do you know, I mean they're always involved in the thing but like for photo op and just to say like it's like we were on the right side of history, like with no real like emotion towards it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? That's like the micro version of the macro version. So the corporation is like the macro version. The micros the thing three, six chicks who don't give a. And by the way, you know, it's like all these are like this is really important to me. Like this trans rights are really. It's like I've known you for 23 years. You didn't say about this 10 minutes ago until 10 minutes ago. How's this really important? Or is it until I a hei.

[Dave Smith]

In Costa Rica now it matters that.

[Big J Okerson]

Nobody cares about the Ukraine anymore. That was such a big deal.

[J]

And it was so the Ukraine. Ukraine 1 was a really interesting one to watch like rise up because it was literally like now I understand that the Russia invaded Ukraine and. And feel however you feel about that. But to see all of these people and it's the regular people just such followers that they're all like putting up Ukrainian flags. And like yesterday, right, you didn't know anything about Ukraine. You would have never mentioned Ukraine. You don't know anything about the country.

[Big J Okerson]

It's about today, where the flag has just gone by because we hit black. We hit.

[J]

And the war pride month.

[Big J Okerson]

And the war still took precedence over the Ukraine which is still in the middle of a war. Nobody really gives.

[Dave Smith]

Well, where's their gays? Ukraine?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, Ukraine is actually extremely like they are not cool with gays at all. Like, yeah, they're like. It's one of the eastern places.

[J]

Eastern Europe in general is a little. Is also tough on the gays.

[Dave Smith]

The Ukraine was funny because that's like, I think the first kind of like problem we've ever had where they were like, by the way, you could just go over there and help them fight. If you're just like some guy and people did. People just went over there and like, I'm gonna go fight for the Ukraine. What a weird. It's all weird thing to do even.

[J]

But the thing about it that's very weird is like. It's like just like marching orders are given and then how many people are just willing to follow it politically?

[Adam Carolla]

I felt that way about COVID Yeah. Like, hey, we're gonna shut down beaches. Oh, okay, I won't go to the beach. Yeah. And we're gonna shut down the trails. No more hiking. Okay. Oh, you can wear a mask. Oh, no, Two masks. When you hike, wear a mask, and then you can fly. And then when the chick hands you Fiesta Mix, you can pull it down and eat the Fiesta mixer. Then you gotta. Oh, okay, okay. What do I do next, Paul? It's like, first off, what the fuck happened to you? This is America. How did everyone's brain get so fucking malleable so goddamn fast?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, they tricked everyone into. Like, people shame others for not following the orders. Now, that was the trick, right? That was beautiful. Because when your neighbors start going like, yeah, dude, you're not wearing a mask, and they start giving you looks, then it's not even, like, following orders. You go like, well, I don't want to be against the grain. I don't want to be called the Nazi. It's all. It all falls into that category. If you don't do this, you're a Nazi. Somehow. If I don't put a mask on in a park, I'm a Nazi. That is crazy.

[Gina Grad]

Now.

[Big J Okerson]

I am a Nazi, but it has nothing to do with my mask.

[Dave Smith]

But I'll talk.

[J]

The credit I deserve.

[Dave Smith]

I'll talk all this with everybody. But I just also kind of blindly f. Like, you know, I mean, I don't have enough to make a stink on it either way.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I get, like.

[Dave Smith]

As soon as they go, you can take the masks off completely. I didn't go like, well, I'm still gonna. I. I took it off. But when they were, like, weird, I just wore. I didn't try to sneak.

[Big J Okerson]

That's about. Most people are complacent, and they just. They just do it. And they don't argue and they don't complain. They don't want to ruffle any feathers.

[J]

But it's also like, you. You see, there's like. There's like. There's different layers to it. There's, like, all the people following, but then there's also, like, the people at the top kind of pushing this. Like, they don't believe. That was the really interesting thing about when you'd see all the pictures of them not wearing masks, you know, Gavin Newsom or Nancy Pelosi or whatever. Like, they're not wearing masks in their own gatherings. Like, they're telling everyone else to do it, but they don't fucking buy this shit. Did you see the one? It was on MSNBC that was one of those interesting clips of the whole pandemic where they turn the. It's like a man on the street thing. And he goes, look, look, right over here. We see this guy not wearing a mask. They're outside. They turn their camera over to this guy to, like, put him on national television. Television. To make him the face of. Oh, yeah, look, this guy not wearing a mask. And he goes, your cameraman's not wearing a mask. And then he had a cell phone video of someone else there that confirmed that, the cameraman. So it's like they're, like calling out people. Well, they don't even believe it themselves. It's just a very weird thing.

[Adam Carolla]

That's. That's the thing they don't believe. Like when Gavin Newsom got caught at the French Laundry and people like, he's a hypocrite. I'm like, yeah, he's a hypocrite, but he doesn't believe it. Yeah. You know, he'd go to Sofi Stadium for the super bowl, take pictures with Magic Johnson, no mask. His excuse was, I have my mask in my hand. They don't. They don't believe it. That's the whole thing, like, recently. And I think that's kind of the part we need to drill down on. So I was saying in a podcast a few months back, which is Gavin Newsom, California has, like, 22 states that are no. No fly states. If you work for California and the government and you can't go there on taxpayer money for an official business or whatever. Gavin Newsom vacations in Montana. That's a no fly state. And everyone's like, hey, man, aren't you a hypocrite? And he's like, I'm spending my own money here. That's what he's saying. He's like, I'm. This is my money. And I'm like, yeah, but it's an evil place. So what I was saying is, like, if somebody. He said, this is a racist donut shop. You can't go there. And he went, and we can't spend taxpayer money there. And he went, okay, but then you went to the donut shop and your excuse was, I'm spending my money at the racist donut shops. Like, you don't believe it, then you don't believe it. And I guess it's not news to anybody, but that's kind of where the politicians are at. Like, they just don't.

[J]

Yeah. And I think that's always been kind of the truth. It's just, like, more obvious during this. But I think it's like the connection you said before with the woke shit, it's all like. It's about pushing you and, like, seeing how it's about making people conform. And I think that was the real fucked up thing about COVID and even Ukraine and all this other shit, right, Is you just realize it's like, oh, fuck, this has really worked. This has worked really well for a large percentage of the population is just completely uncritical.

[Big J Okerson]

We gave them the information that anything they want to do that there's a path to making us do it.

[J]

I mean, it's almost like you feel like. Almost like in like some Trading Places type scenario scenario, like there's some billionaires who made a bet who are laughing about this. They're like, yeah, I could have them wearing masks in a pool, right? Like, no way. No way.

[Adam Carolla]

You could. You're like, I could do it. I could have him do it.

[Dave Smith]

Ron Hubbard. I'll start a religion and make a million bucks.

[J]

Like, it's, you know, like.

[Big J Okerson]

And they.

[J]

They really did a lot of it.

[Adam Carolla]

They did Legion of Skanks. Great podcast. Great. Guys, we've come to the end of our time here, but thanks for inviting me into your studio. Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Thanks for coming. We appreciate it.

[Adam Carolla]

They use the coasters. A former woodwork worker and I appreciate the varnish on this solid table. Big J Lewis, Dave. Thank you guys for coming in and hanging out. And until next time, this Adam Corolla saying mahalo.

[Giovanni]

All right, it's Adam Ko show 3356, legion of skanks. Ace man, recorded in New York. That does it for this weekend's cruel classics. Until next time, Mahal and Get It.