Jakob Dylan + Beth Riesgraf (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show (Carolla Classics)
Episode: Jakob Dylan + Beth Riesgraf
Date: May 10, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

This Carolla Classics episode brings listeners two vintage segments from The Adam Carolla Show archives: an in-depth, music-industry-focused roundtable with Wallflowers frontman Jakob Dylan and Rolling Stone journalist David Wild (originally from episode 881, 2012), and an engaging conversation with actress Beth Riesgraf (originally from episode 885, 2012). True to Carolla’s style, the episodes blend comedy, irreverent observations on daily life and pop culture, music banter, and candid discussions about family, fame, and human quirks.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Segment 1: Jakob Dylan & David Wild (Ep. 881)

1. The Return of The Wallflowers

• Jakob Dylan discusses the Wallflowers’ hiatus and their comeback (37:27).
  • “We just took a long break. Right then it just became seven years.” — Jakob Dylan (37:33)
• The band reunites for a new album and tour (Glad All Over, 2012).

2. Rock Star Upbringings & Fatherhood

• Adam explores what it’s like being the son of Bob Dylan, and the generational differences in parenting.
  • Jakob emphasizes having a “pretty regular” upbringing and credits his parents for his even-keeled nature (39:49–40:38).
• Discussion about affection, fatherly advice, and trying to talk children out of the "music business" (41:29, 41:43).

3. Musical Influences & New Music

• The Clash is cited as a key influence for Jakob; Mick Jones of The Clash guests on Wallflowers’ “Reboot the Mission” (41:45).
• The group listens and discusses personal favorite tracks (ZZ Top, The Eels, Pretenders, Lynyrd Skynyrd) and reflects on classic rock longevity and legacy (48:41+).

4. Family Life & Kids

• Light-hearted banter about raising sons vs. daughters, boy “stunt genes,” and the challenges of parenting (45:13+).
  • “The boy is just playing with his Legos...you bring them in at night...but the boy just takes care of himself.” — Adam Carolla (46:05)

5. Media Critique & Pop Culture Rants

• Adam launches into classic rants on:
  • Breakfast foods ("I like the shitty hash browns..." — 04:52)
  • Stinky cabs and the need for hygiene standards in public transport (19:05–20:38)
  • Duran Duran’s overrepresentation on 80s radio (“Is somebody being sucked off by the entire band of Duran Duran?” — 14:21)
  • The endless repetition and lack of imagination in 80s radio programming (15:43, 16:09)

6. Journalism: Fact or Fiction?

• They discuss the fabrication of Bob Dylan quotes by a New Yorker writer, raising questions about fact-checking, journalistic standards, and the shift in media accountability (68:22–71:59).
  • “More and more people...have condemned both President Truman and America for that [atomic bomb] decision. But this criticism is based on limited historical knowledge…” — Guest, Father Wilson (130:40)

7. Chick-fil-A Controversy

• Coverage of social and political fallout over Chick-fil-A’s anti–gay marriage remarks, the politicization of fast food, and the absurdity of government officials weighing in (76:57–81:52).
  • “They’re fucking insane. That’s illegal. You can’t do that.” — Adam Carolla on city officials attempting to block Chick-fil-A (77:00)

8. Parenting & Goofy Family Names

• Adam reflects on his own family compared to Jimmy Kimmel’s, poking fun at "junior" traditions and naming conventions (142:21).

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Segment 2: Beth Riesgraf (Ep. 885)

1. Small-Town Roots vs. LA Life

• Minnesota native Beth Riesgraf talks about Midwestern friendliness vs. Los Angeles’ abrasiveness (148:10–149:10).

2. ‘Leverage’ and Working with Timothy Hutton

• Beth discusses her role on TNT’s "Leverage" and dynamics within the cast, notably Tim Hutton’s multi-talented, down-to-earth personality (152:31–154:46).

3. Portland’s Weirdness and “Green” Contradictions

• A dive into Portland’s eco-conscious self-image and quirks, like perpetually-running drinking fountains ("bubblers") and overzealous Whole Foods employees (155:41–160:04).
  • "There is a Keep Portland Weird [bumper sticker]...and then you're there for a while, and it's still not weird to me..." — Beth Riesgraf (155:47)

4. Politeness Policing & Self-Righteous Judgment

• Amusing stories about being nagged to buy "local" strawberries, use reusable bags, and being judged by Portland’s eco-conscious “politeness enforcers” (158:24+).

5. Single Parenting & Co-Parenting with Jason Lee

• Beth shares her healthy co-parenting relationship with ex-partner Jason Lee and their son, Pilot Inspector, underscoring the benefits of amicable divorce for children (196:01–198:21).

6. Other Highlights

• Segues into humorous takes on:
  • Cabs and drivers’ quirks (150:00+)
  • The oddness of commercial bands vs. real bands (122:27, 124:20)
  • Snack foods, sexuality, and brand activism (187:36, 189:22–194:26)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Duran Duran Saturation in Media:

  • "Is somebody being sucked off by the entire band of Duran Duran? What goes on?" — Adam Carolla (14:21)

• On Parenting Across Generations:

  • “You’d probably have to say I’m a pretty regular kind of person, right?” — Jakob Dylan (39:49)
  • “My son's a puss. He doesn't go for the zip lines, and he doesn't want to get on the trampoline...” — Adam Carolla (46:33)

• On Fact-checking in Journalism:

  • “Journalism...the standards have gone to hell. But the accountability is so amazing...” — Brian Bishop (69:07)

• On Chick-fil-A & Social Politics:

  • “It’s our role not to go to Chick-fil-A. It’s not their job to have...slow down the permit process. Are they fucking nuts?” — Adam Carolla (77:03)

• On Portland’s Bubbler Fountains:

  • “How green a fucking city if you’re going to waste 200 billion gallons of water a year, how green can you be?” – Adam Carolla (156:10)

• On Co-Parenting with Jason Lee:

  • “We kind of were like, listen, the best thing to do...is to be friends if you’re not being friends when you’re together.” — Beth Riesgraf (197:23)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

Jakob Dylan & David Wild Segment:

• Wallflowers’ Reunion & Album Talk: 37:04–43:03
• Classic Parenting / Father–Son Relationships: 38:06–41:14
• Discussion of Classic Rock & Influences: 48:41–51:46
• Duran Duran Radio Rant: 14:19–16:13
• Journalism/Fact-Checking Debate: 68:22–71:59
• Chick-fil-A Controversy: 76:57–81:52

Beth Riesgraf Segment:

• Small-Town vs. LA: 148:10–149:10
• Working with Timothy Hutton: 152:31–154:46
• Portland’s “Weirdness” & Green Contradictions: 155:41–160:02
• Parenting & Co-Parenting: 196:01–198:21

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Tone & Style

The tone is classic Carolla: fast-paced, irreverent, and conversational. Guests Jakob Dylan and Beth Riesgraf are candid and personable, matching Adam’s wit with their own anecdotes and dry humor. The show features a blend of pop culture critique, life observations, and music industry insights, punctuated by recurring jokes and rants.

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Additional Highlights

• Breakfast Foods and American Diner Talk: The discussion about “shitty hash browns” and cold leftover food (4:52–5:14).
• Cultural Tolerance for Funk: “Nobody likes funk but whitey. That’s a whitey first world problem.” — Adam Carolla (24:35)
• Halloween & Costume Parties: Commentary on the difference between kids’ and adults’ Halloween approaches (86:50–87:54).

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Summary

This two-part Carolla Classics episode is a tapestry of late-night radio charm, punctuated with deep dives into the realities of music, fame, modern parenting, and daily annoyances, all delivered in Adam Carolla’s signature style. Whether you’re a music nerd curious about the Wallflowers or just in the mood for some Carolla-family banter and take-no-prisoners observations on society, this episode is packed with quotable lines, hot takes, and genuine, self-deprecating warmth.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, sweetie. Your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm gonna give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer.

[Brian Bishop]

Unbelievable.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair.

[Brian Bishop]

It's done.

[Adam Carolla]

The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway. Carvana, give it a whirl. Love ya. So good you'll want to leave a voicemail about it. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Fees may apply.

[Adam Carolla]

Welcome to Cruella Classics.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fan selected clips

[Brian Bishop]

from all 17 years of the Adam Carolla Show.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

If you would like to hear any

[Adam Carolla]

of these full episodes presented today or

[Show Producer/Announcer]

any other episodes from the Adam Carolla

[Brian Bishop]

show archive, over 4,200 original episodes, along

[Show Producer/Announcer]

with the entire archive of The Adam

[Adam Carolla]

and Dr. Drew show, as well as

[Brian Bishop]

the podcast Beat it Out.

[Adam Carolla]

Make sure to check out Adam Carolla's

[Brian Bishop]

substack adamcarollo.substack.com and if you'd like to

[Adam Carolla]

request a clip, please email us classicsdamcarollo.com

[Show Producer/Announcer]

now, as a side note, we cannot play any material from Loveline or the

[Brian Bishop]

Kayla Sex Morning show, which ran from 2006 to 2009.

[Adam Carolla]

If you're looking for any of that

[Brian Bishop]

content, please check out my patreon patreon.com

[Adam Carolla]

Giovanni there you'll find the most up to date information on my archival efforts

[Brian Bishop]

or the home stretch.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

All right, let's get the clips coming up. First we have Adam K Show 881, David Wild, Jacob Dylan in studio, along

[Adam Carolla]

with Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop. This one from 2012, No choice. Ripping off. Does that sound all right to you, Dawson? What the hell goes on over here? All right, it sounds like hell to me. Good to see you. Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello, Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Good to see you. Bald Brian. That's right. Yeah. We'll get Jacob Dylan in here so soon enough. And David Wilde as well. All right, things to talk about. Still leftover. Things to talk about. We'll play a little.

[Bald Brian]

Sometimes leftover is better than the original.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, warmed over.

[Bald Brian]

Better than the first dish.

[Adam Carolla]

Serving like a cold meatloaf sandwich.

[Bald Brian]

I had cold Thai food today. I prefer cold. Sometimes with pasta and Thai food. And noodles. I like cold noodles. They're refrigerated. Day after noodles. Yeah, exactly. Exactly what you want to talk about.

[Adam Carolla]

There is something about the congealing effect that I sort of like when it's overdone, it's no good. Like if you got the pasta primavera, it just turns into a cube of fat at the bottom.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, if there's chunks of fat, that's no good.

[Adam Carolla]

Plus that's like a quick refrigerator trip to the hot dog factory. Cause you're like, this is the shit I was eating last night. This block of lard. This is what I was eating. It seemed so good when I was eating it. It seems so healthy when I was eating it now.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's like the girl with fake breasts in the morning.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm hmm. That's why I kick them out that night. All right, let's see, a couple of leftover things story I think would amuse you guys. So as I said, we're in Montreal and the flight was canceled and so we had to get a rental car and drive it to Buffalo. And one of the things I really enjoy doing when I'm driving around the country and it's a beautiful country and there's so much to look at, but I love just pulling over at those diners and those weird places that they don't have, like Cracker Barrels they don't have that's so prevalent, like Waffle House. They don't have here and just pull over and just eat there.

[Bald Brian]

Oh, you like the chains? I thought you were gonna say the hole in the wall places.

[Adam Carolla]

I like the hole in the wall. I like the hole in the wall places too. But I can't spot them from the freeway.

[Bald Brian]

The signs that arch above the neighbor paths.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's part of being a hole in the wall is literally being in a hole in a wall. And you can't see them from the freeway. And these places, usually for breakfast, I have this motto, which is I sort of like, I like hash browns. They don't have to be home fries or cottage fries. I just like the shitty hash browns. And I like. It's hard to fuck up like a Denver omelette, you know? So for me, I don't mind the shitty breakfast, even if it's not as good. And by the way, these places, like the Cracker Barrel or something, they're not necessarily shitty breakfasts just because they're on a big scale. Plenty of fat people hanging around that place. The belly doesn't lie.

[Bald Brian]

There should be a list of foods that hash browns is on the top of the. Give me the out of the freezer version. I mean, obviously warmed up and cooked,

[Adam Carolla]

but I'll take that. I feel the same way around Coleslaw, as I do around hash browns, which I like the shitty non highfalutin. When you start mixing the new potatoes in with the skins that are still left on them. Yes. And all of a sudden you're cutting up all kinds of vegetables in there and oh, we used the purple potatoes and all that stuff. And it's kind of like.

[Allison Rosen]

This is the cousin of the white chicken parm.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Just quit making it fancy people.

[Adam Carolla]

I like when the egg starts running into the hash browns and it's a little bit milky in the little chard on the outside and you get a little ketchup on it. That's breakfast to me. And again, I've never said to anybody, I am done with hash browns as we know them. I want things with raisins in them.

[Allison Rosen]

No, take your mashed potatoes and make them smashed.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't want. I don't even really need garlic in there. I don't need any of it. Just you do me the best mashed potato, the best hash brown and the best eggs over easy. And I'll be fine with that because by, by the way, that's what I've set my. That's what I've set my meter to when I've decided I wanted breakfast. So we stopped at a place and we stop in these places in the middle of God damn nowhere. And we stopped at a place called Bob Evans. And by the way, the name Bob Evans gets ink. And we just stopped there and we just pulled in. I called the hippest dude in town and it was me, Mike. And Mike and I usually eventually. Oh, there's us. Oh, Mike took a picture. Surprised that I'm wearing that shirt, aren't you? And that hat.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Is that new?

[Adam Carolla]

Had a nice conversation with my wife the other day when I was leaving for my trip. I said, where's my hat? She said, which one? And I said, which hat?

[Bald Brian]

That's her being funny.

[Adam Carolla]

And she said, yeah, which one? And I said, the baseball cap I've been wearing for four months nonstop. I mean to sleep, making love. And it's not really making love, but I call it that, you know. She said, well, you have a lot of baseball hats. I said, are you a hat?

[Allison Rosen]

She really does see the best of you.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you shitting me? The hat I've worn non stop. The Nick Offerman. Adam, you have a lot of hats.

[Allison Rosen]

No, you don't.

[Adam Carolla]

I do have a lot of hats. They're all in the fucking closet somewhere. This one has been on my head non stop for Six months. And when I say six months, I'm being. Being generous. I mean a year and six months. She was like, which one? I'll say this and tell me if I'm being a douche. Now I sound. Let me turn me up again. There we go. Thank you. Thank you. Okay,

[Bald Brian]

say that again.

[Adam Carolla]

Tell me if I'm being a douche, but here's how I'm wired. Here's my problem. I'm at Niagara Falls. And after the show, as I said, we went to Niagara Falls. We have a romantic evening at Niagara Falls. I call the house and it's midnight at Niagara falls, or it's 1155 or whatever. And I know it's time to call the kids and say goodnight to them, but this time I'm standing in front of Niagara Falls. So I'm trying to tell them, you know, I'm standing here. I tell Mike, take a picture of me, and then you email it back home. And I don't know how to do it, but let the kids see the picture and blah, blah, blah. And kids are getting ready to go to bed. And Lynette gives me the. Jeez, it's. Oh, no. She. She. I think she said the time. She said, it's like, you know, it's like 8:55. Then she said, what time is it over there? And I said, what? What time is it? It's three hours. It's midnight. I mean, I could have easily just said midnight, but I had to be a little bit of a dick.

[Bald Brian]

But wait. To be fair, though, there are parts of Canada. They're four hours ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

We were in. We were in. I told her we were on the New York. I told her we're in the New York side. I don't think she was thinking about it. But the point is, it was an opportunity for me not to waste being a dick. I mean, I could have said, but when you're talking.

[Allison Rosen]

Don't squander it.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam's a rare one. When you're talking to somebody in LA and it's 9pm and then you go, I'm standing in Niagara Falls on the New York side. And they go, what time is it over there? Okay.

[Bald Brian]

Yeah. It's like being at the sushi place with the rotator belt. The fatty tunnel comes along so long. You gotta grab it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you gotta grab it.

[Allison Rosen]

Conversational Torah.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to make douchey. Hey. While the sun is shining.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, how did she take your tiny bit of being a dick?

[Adam Carolla]

She knows. She always does. She paused, decided whether to call Me a dick or not. And then we moved on. This time she decided not to.

[Allison Rosen]

See, I find, like at least 60 to 70% of conversation is just making conversation and it's kind of moronic anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you know, but. You know, but you're saying. I'm not saying she didn't know, but that's kind of my point. Yeah, come on. But I have it with my agent all the time too, where he's like, we got a conference call at five o' clock and. Five o', clock, I think it's. You mean two o'. Clock. Oh, well, he's in New York. Like, he lives in New York and doesn't do the New York LA math all the time.

[Allison Rosen]

Trying to schedule something like that with someone on the East Coast, I never know whether to put it in my time or their time. So I end up doing both.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I have that myself. And it's fucked up many a conversation. And it's one of these problems that, if you think about it, never existed some years ago because there's no way to communicate with someone that was three hours away. But anyway, better time. We're simpler times. We're at Bob Evans, which is just a diner, big diner, sort of Cracker Barrel esque. Oh, I don't know. It'd be like Denny's in the middle of somewhere, between Montreal and Buffalo. We stop at this place. See, I believe rules are made to be broken. I always walk into these places thinking, I wonder if anyone recognizes me because this is a very random place for me to be. I mean, we are, like I said, smack dab in the middle of Montreal and Buffalo, Upstate New York. Weird that I'm walking into this place. They must get no one they've ever recognized. What a treat for them. So no one says anything. No one really does anything. But at a certain point, it'll start. You're hearing a little buzz around, you know. Is that guy from the thing from the show. What's over there? And at a certain point, the waitress comes up and she says, now again, an opportunity to be a dick. Mike, you can tell me whether I was being a dick or not. The waitress comes up, she's very sweet, she's nervous, and she says, now, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to bother you, but are you famous? Are you Adam Carolla? And I said, yeah, I am famous. Oh, sorry. She started with, is your name Adam? Which is nice and vague and confusing. I said, yeah, I am. She said, are you Adam Carolla? And I said, yeah. And then she Went, now you're not just. You're not pulling my leg, right? And I said, no. And she said, seriously? Seriously, Are you Adam Carolla? That sounds hot. Are you screwing with me? Are you just screwing around? Are you really Adam Carolla? And I said, well, let me explain how screwing around with somebody works.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, you were being a dick.

[Adam Carolla]

Was I being a dick? She kept saying to me, listen, are you really Adam Carolla or are you just playing with my head? And I was like, here's how you know I'm not playing with your head. I'm sitting here attempting to eat. And then you've come over here, you see if I was playing with you or screwing around. I would have went around when you were taking a break. And I would have said, excuse me, but my name is Adam Carolla. I'd like to introduce myself. And then she would have said, are you playing with my head? But because you, you came over to me. That's how you know I'm not playing a practical joke on. It'd be like running up and kicking someone in the shins and then saying to that person, are you playing a joke on me? No, I'm writhing in pain. Thank you. Let me explain how the practical jokes work. I kick you in the shit. She was sweet as hell. We took pictures and all that kind of stuff. But she kept going, get out of here. And I was like, what do you mean you came up to me? How could I be doing this?

[Bald Brian]

She said, no, seriously, I'm a feminist. Get out of here.

[Brian Bishop]

How does the logic of this work?

[Adam Carolla]

It's like you're an Adam Carolla impersonator and you just drive around the country hoping to confuse people to giving you free meals. Which we didn't receive, by the way. Yeah, stars up the ass. But if it's not on the page, it's not gonna be in the screen

[Bald Brian]

five of it.

[Adam Carolla]

It was. It's just what you want when you're completely sleep deprived and you have to make a seven hour drive and your flight is canceled.

[Allison Rosen]

The kind of dingy, sincere person.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and listen, I love dingy, insincere and nervous. Like it's fine. And I just like fucking around with them because. And I like, just, again, approaching it from a place of logic, which is, how is it I could be playing a practical joke on you when you're coming to my table and asking me if I'm me? How's that gonna work? How could I possibly plan this ruse? No one would go along with it. Yeah. And it'd be like me saying, I got an idea for a big time bank heist. Now let's all just wait here and wait till the vault comes over to us.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, see, maybe you're very, very good.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta be good. So that was fun and interesting. The other thing, I was complaining last night. I hope you're sitting down. We'll get into it with Jacob Dillon and David Wallet. Talk a little music a minute. But I was complaining about that God awful First Wave station that never stops playing fucking Duran Duran. And how I heard a good song Sense is Working Overtime by xtc. When I got into the car yesterday and I thought, what a good song. Where's Duran Duran? And then they started playing a Duran Duran song after complaining about it on the air last night, I hopped into the car at 7 in the PM Duran Duran playing on the exact same station. So hour and 45 minutes later, boom. More Duran Duran.

[Allison Rosen]

I wonder how he got fired for playing the XTC song.

[Adam Carolla]

Is somebody being sucked off by the entire band of Duran Duran? What goes on? I wish, peeps. Can we all get together and figure out, has anyone ever said more Duran Duran? Like, I am not getting enough of Duran Duran.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't get a chance to say it.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't take a breath. There's always. They never stop being played. And it's this weird thing of like, I don't have anything against them. I like everyone in the band is incredibly nice. They're super friendly guys and I've interviewed them a bunch of times. There's nothing wrong with them. They have a couple of songs I like. They have 18 songs I hate, you know, they have three songs that are fine, they have two songs that are good, three songs that are fine, and then they have five songs that are like cloying, annoying and aggressively bad. And they just get played ad nauseam. And this time they were playing My Own Way, which is a weird Duran Duran song I've never even heard. Which on one hand I thought, well, maybe that's something. And then on the other hand I thought, must you play Duran Duran at all costs?

[Bald Brian]

Baby steps.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, all right. Anyway, it was just weird to climb back in the car after complaining about that fucking never ending band. Yeah.

[Bald Brian]

So you only listen to the station to get angry. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Material.

[Bald Brian]

There's no reason to listen to this for enjoyment.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, to fuel your fire. It tempts me because they have the 80s station which is only gonna play shitty Duran Duran. And you know, Robert Palmer Addicted to Love. And you know, I love rock and Roll by Joe Biden. Yeah, it's all horrible songs and. And a lot of your John Cougar and a lot of other just horrible, fucked out, horrible songs. But then they enticed me with this First Wave thing, which means, ooh, we're gonna hear some Talking Heads, you know, and some early Elvis Costello.

[Bald Brian]

The implication is it's the songs you don't normally hear.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's the implication you have a

[Bald Brian]

Ray Station and then a first wave station.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the 80s one will play the later and the Mid stuff and the, you know, don't yout Want Me Baby and the Flock of Seagulls and all that soft sell. And then this is gonna play some Talking Heads and some Elvis Costell and some, like, first wave, like 1980. 1981. So I have just to get. Yes. Just to get upset by all the shit that they end up playing and how much repetition there is between the 80 station and the first wave station. They're both playing the same Union of the Snake extended dance version by Duran Durant, like, simultaneously. So again, why do you have another station that claims to be this when you're not even. Okay, so there's that. There's also the guy. And, you know, I simultaneously talk about, like, get government out of my way and then let's get a law against this. So I'm a little bit of a hypocrite, but it was warm in Montreal and it was a little bit dewy outside. The air was heavy in Montreal and it was, you know, it was. It was humid. Very humid. Very humid. Yes. In Montreal. And we climbed into a cab at a certain point and it was just like overwhelming. You know, like, black islander type guy at a certain point started laughing and filled the place with his breath, which was sort of like rotting teeth, breath. That weird. I'd rather have smoker's breath or cigar breath than the rotting.

[Allison Rosen]

Than body decomposing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, Decay. Like, yeah, you're still alive, but your mouth died seven years ago. But the BO was off the fucking charts and you're climbing. And by the way, they have to move all their shit off the passenger seat to accommodate your third person or whatever it is.

[Allison Rosen]

It's like they live in the car.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? So here's what I was saying. These cabs, they treat it like it's their fucking den of their apartment and their bachelors. But the reality is, it is a little. It's not. It's a showroom. It's a business. It's a little place of business. It's no Different. I mean, there's no difference between a cab and the waiting room of the aforementioned dentist. Or at least we should have mentioned the dentist to this guy in 1991. Which is. It's not the dentist's office, it's not the chair, but it's where you go to kind of. It's part of it. It's not your. This is part of what I'm paying for is this place. I want to see an aquarium and it's a fucking outdated Sports Illustrated and I don't want it highlights. Yeah. And I don't want it to be rank smelling in there or have, you know, cockroach feces in there. And you climb into these guys cabs and it's a little slice of their horrible life and God knows what's going on at home. God the fuck knows what.

[Bald Brian]

Oh, that's clean. That's spick and Spanish.

[Adam Carolla]

But I'm just saying, like, it is a business. Here's, here's what I'm saying. You can't open a restaurant in New York or Montreal and go, hey man, I run the kitchen the way I run the kitchen. That's the way I do it. It's like I don't like to cover the mayonnaise and the refrigerator, you know, I keep it a couple of temperature clicks warmer.

[Allison Rosen]

And the secret ingredient is rat feces.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. That's what I do. So stay out of my way, you know. No, no, no, no. We got rules.

[Allison Rosen]

This is our check in Parmesan.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The reason, the reason there's rules is because the public has to sort of get in there and they have to interact with you and somebody could get hurt or food poisoning or whatever. Fucking cabs are a mess.

[Allison Rosen]

You're right. There should be grades for cabs.

[Adam Carolla]

There should in the window. Just fucking a B and a C. And also whoever's running these things, take the fucking stink O meter or the woods light or something like run it through that place every once in a while and say, look, if you work as the maitre d of a restaurant, you can't show up disheveled with horrific BO and halitosis and go right this way. I mean, we all have depending on the job. And even if you're a UPS guy, you can't have your shirt untucked and be disheveled. It's like, no, you represent this. I would like some rules and some regulation for what goes on inside these cabs because it is fucking brutal. Like during the summer, if you ever

[Allison Rosen]

hire a town car, that person's always wearing a suit. Why is it so different?

[Adam Carolla]

I would like a jumpsuit. One of those disposable hazmat jumpsuit. That could all look like they're in devo. We'd have to explain who devo was to them, but either way it'd be fast. They could all just be in a fucking jumpsuit and they'll just throw it away at the end of the shift. It's like one of those things. Like, you ever do those things where they take the tour. It's like when the dignitary takes the tour of the meat processing plant or something, and they give them, like, the hard hat and the hair net and the little booties. Or like when they go to the NASA clean room and they give them the little booties to pull over their shoes and that little smock thing to pull over.

[Bald Brian]

Handling uranium. They gotta put the hands through the gloves.

[Adam Carolla]

No, not that.

[Bald Brian]

Nobody's like that.

[Adam Carolla]

No, not at all.

[Bald Brian]

Nobody's like that.

[Adam Carolla]

No. That's horrible. No, like you're visiting someone in a burn unit. Yes, thank you. Me handling uranium and handling uranium. Well, that's what got him into the burn unit.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

So, yeah, and then when you're done, you just ball all the shit up and throw it away. It's no good.

[Allison Rosen]

And then also when they take their cab to get washed, if they do that, they should get out and just let themselves get washed, too.

[Adam Carolla]

They should just. Windows down, by the way. Don't even get out. Just. Yeah. Sunroof open, windows down, sunroof, soka music up. I was having a big laugh about that. Soca, which is reggaeton for retarded people who are deaf in one ear and a little bit younger and like to move. It's a niche audience, and it was just a great. It was the greatest conversation ever. When Khabib was taking me out to the theater, Garrison Keillor's theater, with the soccer music soca. Oh, sweet. Just pumping. And I'm like, habib, how old are you? Of this? Yes. Like, well, I could count the rolls on the back of your neck. That's one way to do it. Yeah, like you do with a tree. 49, 53, my friend. I know. You look like you're 80. I know. I know. You look great. I'm sure you look hot in a speedo, Habib. And the music just fucking pumping. And he's like, this is in Minnesota. And I'm like, habib, what's up with this soccer soca? Soccer music. Just like reggaeton yes, yes, but. Yes, it's more. But more for the young people, right? Where would you play this music? This is for young people. For the clubs. You play for the clubs. Dance, young people, bands, disco, disco, disco, things like that, Habib. See anyone dance? Anyone dancing in your cab right now, combined age. We're over 100 and we're going to the Prairie Home Companion Theater in Minnesota. Could we turn it down? And how about this one too? Like, you know when a guy has it up and I go, I gotta call Mike Oggs and tell them we're running late. And I go, could you turn it down a little there, Habib? But when you say turn down a little, just fucking turn it off while I'm making myself. But they turn it down two clicks. And then you have to tell them to turn it down again. When someone tells you to turn something down, isn't that just sort of your cue just to just kind of flip it off?

[Allison Rosen]

In New York, there's the taxi riders bill of rights. And it says you have the right to clean incense, free air, and you have the right to having no music. But no one ever takes advantage of it because it's. It just makes you feel weird to ask them to turn it off.

[Adam Carolla]

All of us, we had like four dudes in this cab. And we piled out of that thing like gasping for fresh air. Like. Like people leaving a building that was on fire. Like, it was like. And the four was like, oh, that was brutal. And then you look. This is good for you. Look around. And you're like, why? Why? He could shower and put on deodorant and air the fucking thing out. And like, what?

[Allison Rosen]

And it's not like he's working well, I guess he's working up a sweat. Cause it's warm, but he's just sitting there.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know anyone whose car or anyone who's that funky. And then it, you know, and then what it is is it becomes a cultural thing. And then it's like, you can't judge. And then no one really wants to say anything. And then you go, they don't. Or he's from. They don't. And then you kind of move on. Cause if that's.

[Allison Rosen]

No one likes funk.

[Adam Carolla]

No, nobody likes funk but whitey. That's a whitey first world problem. You and your funk. And we're not about to take you and culturally correct your funk. And other countries put up with funk much more than we put up with funk. We don't want. We're pretty much. We have zero Tolerance on our funko meter. I mean, look, I tell people, yeah, I don't shower every day. And they're like, what? And I go, yeah, I don't shower. Well, fine. If I don't work out, I don't need to shower. You don't. Yes, you do. And then I go, I only use shampoo like once a week maybe. And they're like, oh my God. God. And I like that other countries wouldn't be met with that, that kind of righteous indignation, you know what I mean? People are grossed out when I tell them that.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, we are.

[Bald Brian]

When I was in high school, I worked at a grocery store and I was a bagger and there was a woman, a regular customer came in once a week with her kids or whatever. And she was, she's Indian, like eastern Indian. And she. I felt bad, I felt bad at the time. I feel bad saying it. She smelled terrible. Like she came in. It was kind of like a. You know, we're teenagers, so it was like a joke amongst us. Sure, here comes the bad smelling lady. But like she smelled awful. Now you're reminding me, like who in her life is not telling her, pulling

[Adam Carolla]

her aside like that's all she had. She had to have married somebody who is from her own stink village and can handle it. Because that's always my question. My question is this is what it's. This is what you smell like at night when you're operating an automatic transmission automobile with power steering. Imagine naked with nothing but a ceiling fan going. And your balls deep in me. Holy God damn. Because even people that don't stink will work up a little sex stink. I can never imagine what these guys are going home to and what happens when they turn the lights down low. I mean, like literally, it's a black hole.

[Bald Brian]

It's a brown hole.

[Adam Carolla]

Like you're wearing. You're wearing pants, shoes and a long sleeve shirt. I can fucking smell you from here. I'm about to vomit into my T shirt. I couldn't imagine you totally naked, balls flying left and right and on top of me that I could not in a pendulous mash. Pendulous motion. Yes, that's me. Speaking of balls flying, go to my PC.

[Bald Brian]

That's ought to be good.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to go to the ball game, you want to watch some balls fly right? You want to catch in a Dodger game, a Yankees game, a Boston, you want to go. But let's say you're at the ball game, you're sitting out there and all of a sudden Pow. You need something off your, your work computer or even your home computer, your

[Bald Brian]

balls are going to stop flying.

[Adam Carolla]

You got work to do. You can use your iPad, use your laptop. You get your iPhone, pal, you're right out there in the stands. Out there in Dodger Stadium.

[Allison Rosen]

Among the balls.

[Adam Carolla]

Among the balls flying. You see Brought to you by Citrix. You can get to your computer wherever you are. Doesn't matter if It's Mac or PC. Go to my PC. Try it free. 45 days free. That's right, a free trial. Use promo code Adam. Visit, go to my PZ.com, click on the try it free button. And remember, use the promo code Adam. All right. Lots going on. Basic cable commentary. Showgirls brought Huell howser in here. Buck 99 at our store and itunes as well, brought Huell Howser in here and we watched Showgirls. He'd never seen Showgirls.

[Allison Rosen]

I bet he was amazed by a lot of things in it.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, is that movie. I haven't seen that movie in a while. That movie's aggressively bad. I mean, you forget, you forget what that movie is. You, everyone gotta watch it. Well, you will watch it, but you can watch it with the basic cable commentary with me and Huell Hauser. Here's just the beginning. We'll play a little, little, little clip of it. Thank you. There you go. So you can see it's worth every bit of a buck 99. All right. We'll try to reboot the computer. Until then, I'll tell you. Irvine. Tomorrow, August 1st, Doug Benson, everyone. Carmel, California Sunset Theater Friday, August 17th be down. If you guys are going to go down and watch the race, go down and watch me do a little comedy and maybe, maybe we'll talk because I think at least by Friday I will have qualified and I'll show you a little lap of Laguna Seca. We'll have some fun, sign some books and do all that stuff. Tampa Stars Theater and Orlando Bob Carr Theater. Coming up, end of August, 25th and 26th. Coming up with Dennis Prager. Yes. You got it. Today I'm so excited to bring in PBS's own Huell Howser. Well, thank you, Adam. I'm very excited to see a movie about some girls who put on a show. Yes. Have you seen Showgirls before? No, but I know what I'm gonna see. I'm imagining a barn and a gingham rag for a curtain they're gonna throw on. Maybe like a down market wizard of Oz Bible story. Well, no, no, this isn't that? And you should. You should be prepared, Huell, that this takes place in Las Vegas. And it does. Las Vegas, Nevada. Nevada. And it deals with the seedy underbelly of strip clubs. And strip club. Where you would redo furniture, you would buy some furniture with an excess of varnish. Varnish or paint on it, take it down. No. No. I mean, yes, but no, this is something else. This is. This is girls with acetate rags. No scraping away. Well, you know what? You'll. I feel like we could go in circles for a while. I'm just funnin ya. I know what this is. I was in the marines. Oh, that's right. So you know, I heard stories. You've heard stories. So this is gonna give you a peek behind the curtain, the proverbial curtain, as it were, and let you look at it. So here's how we do it. I like the term seedy underbelly. Yeah, like that too. Because if you've ever seen under someone's belly and you have to be on your knees. Let's just skip to the movie. Let's just skip to the movie. So you imagine Huell's reaction when you see all those naked women backstage. And reels. Oh, he is not a fan of boobies. I thought he would be, but is

[Allison Rosen]

he kind of a puritan?

[Adam Carolla]

He's very straight laced. He just does not like the female. The female human form.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I've been wondering what he's into.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, not the ladies so much. And again, that's. We saw the R rated, you know, sort of uncut, you know, director's cut, whatever. You know, a hard R version of that. Drape's vision. Yeah, it was pretty. By the way, you see that movie and you go, okay, everyone involved with this needs to be arrested. And I don't mean cause it's that bad, but because they're a danger or they need to at least have to have their kids taken away. Like if somebody. This is somebody's artistic vision, there's something wrong with them and they're gonna kill somebody. Like, you know, when you see kids,

[Allison Rosen]

it's a cry for help. That movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I call it like a marker. Like when you see kids torturing animals and you go, okay, this is not gonna be good. Cause this is gonna be hookers one day. You watch that movie and you go, what? This is fucked up. Something is wrong with these people. All right, Speaking of something is wrong with these people. Not Taco Bell material available now. Thank you so much. And I wanted to say before we bring In David Wilde and Jacob Dillon just got the numbers in and just off the charts. You guys are doing a fantastic job. Almost 2 million downloads last week. Just like 1.9 and change just knocking on the door of 2 million. And I think it's because you guys have been telling your friends, your co workers, your family members and your stinky cab drivers to check it out. And I think in the past, a few years ago, maybe it was too tall order. Like you'd go to someone, hey, listen to your podcast, and they'd go, I don't have. I'm not a computer technician or something. Now I feel like you say podcast people know what you're talking about. Everyone's got a smartphone and everyone can handle it. When we started three and a half years ago, it was like they're just people. No matter how crazed they were as fans, no matter how dedicated they were, just couldn't. I mean, I'd run into people all the time. They're like, oh, man, I'm in Seattle and I would listen to Loveline for 10 years and then I listened to your morning show for three years and now I can't, man, I want to kill myself. And I go, well, listen to the podcast. They go, ah, so now I feel like people are capable of doing it

[Bald Brian]

as long as we're acknowledging the popularity. A funny thing happened today. Teresa pointed out that Natalie Coughlin, the swimmer, the Olympic swimmer, is a huge fan of the podcast.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[Bald Brian]

I was like, it's really interesting. And I commented, I was like, well, I better get her and Dan o' Brien together. Because Dan o', Brien, the Olympic. Also a fan of the podcast. She tweets me back within like two minutes and says, I saw him yesterday at the Olympic Village. We talked about the podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Wow.

[Bald Brian]

Most popular podcast in the Olympic Village.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, International acclaim. All right, so now people know what it is. And now you can tell even your old untext savvy friends at work and co workers to check it out. And that's all we have. And you've been doing a great job,

[Allison Rosen]

but they tell me their parents listen to it. So it's not just young people who are down with the podcast. It's old people.

[Adam Carolla]

My mom listens. It's nice. Mike will tell you and even show you a picture of the road the other day in Buffalo. Lots of people when they come out to the show, the live show, the live podcast, and the live stand up shows and the Dennis prayer shows, I have to shake hands and take pictures with every single one. Of these motherfuckers before I can go get drunk in my hotel room. They go there with their sons and their dads all the time. And it's weird because their dads turning on their sons to it and their sons turning on their dads to it. Mothers and daughters as well, but either way, they're all white. There was one black guy. Okay, I think he's coming up.

[Bald Brian]

Security guard.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he may be a security guard, but he's not physically working at the theater.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, wait, there we go.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, we had a real black guy.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay. But there was another person who I wouldn't have called white.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, there are non whites, but then there's a real brother in that line, too. All right, so again, thank you. And you make all the difference. You spread the word. That's all we have, baby. We don't have an advertising, but we have the best kind of advertising budget, which is you telling a friend. And you do that. And we'll keep this going for you with great guests like Jacob Dylan and David Wilde. And they'll be in studio right after this. Be sure and check out some of the other shows on Corolla [e-mail] and I'll be right back with Adam. Carolla. Hey, this is Adam and Matt, and here's what's coming up on this week's carcast. So I came walk, and he was just underneath the steam car. Leno was Leno.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And his denim. And he's got his torch. Got a butane torch going. And I'm, like, talking to him, and he's like, bernard's over there and where's that cnc machine? Come on, Bernard. I'm not gonna stay here all day. I started walking back to talk to Jay, you know, tell him how he had to fire Bernard for not making me my car parts. And he fired up the torch again, and there was an explosion. It wasn't a big explosion, but it wasn't a small explosion. Like he was under control. He's got his face on the car. Put his face on TV every day, Fired a torch up. He's not wearing a mask. He's not wearing goggles, not wearing anything. And he fired the torch up and there was a boom. Listen for free through itunes, the free Adam Carolla app, or visit acecarcast.com. Back with Jacob Dylan and David Wilde. Glad all over the name of the album the return of the wallflowers is out October 12th. And reboot the mission is what we just heard a little bit of we with Mick Jones from, of course, the Clash. Good to see you, David Wild and good to see you, Jacob Dillon.

[Jacob Dylan]

It's good to see you.

[Brian Bishop]

Good day, sir.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day. So you guys brought some songs. Jacob and I, we'd never met, but we just found out we're practically neighbors, which is kind of fun. Jacob, let's talk wallflowers. So, wallflowers, were they ever broken up? Or do you have to be broken up to get back together? Or can you get back together and not be broken up?

[Jacob Dylan]

That's what we did. We just took a long break. Right then it just became seven years.

[Adam Carolla]

It's easy to do that. It is easy to do that.

[Jacob Dylan]

Time just kept piling up and we all did different things. And then when we started talking about getting together, everybody had a year or two worth of commitments to finish up, and then.

[Adam Carolla]

And so now Wallflowers Back Together Tour, new album, the whole thing.

[Jacob Dylan]

Yep. The whole thing. Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

And where did you grow up?

[Jacob Dylan]

Out here. California.

[Adam Carolla]

And I know your dad's Bob Dylan, but I don't know anything about your story other than your dad's Bob Dylan and you're the wallflowers.

[Jacob Dylan]

That's really all there is.

[Adam Carolla]

How's your dad with your music? Is he generous or is he a pain in the ass like a lot of dads are when they do the same thing? I mean, does he give you a lot of compliments or does he give. Eh, it's okay for a first try, like, you know what I mean?

[Jacob Dylan]

Well, you know, honestly, I never really. I'll get feedback here and there. In a few. It pops up, but I never really asked for it too much. I got a few clues on how to do what I do, but the feedback was never too necessary, just because that's kind of the nature of generations anyway. You're kind of doing your own thing anyhow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Although I feel it's different. I know you have kids. I have kids, too, now. I grew up around. I talk to people. It's like my dad never hugged me. He shook my hand when I graduated high school. He never said he loved me. He never said, like, anything like those guys. And then there's us, and, like, I'm all over my son. I mean, I'm hugging him all the time and kissing him and telling him how great everything is. Like, there's no. I don't know how you grew up, David. I don't know how you grow up. Was your dad smothering you with hugs and kisses and all that stuff?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, my dad never Met his own dad. And yet he was really great, loving, cool dad. Very, very into whatever I was into and like, let me.

[Adam Carolla]

And affectionate.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, very affectionate.

[Adam Carolla]

Was your dad affectionate with you, Jacob?

[Jacob Dylan]

Well, I'll just. Yeah, sure. I mean, I don't know why anybody would think otherwise.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I just mean not, not. Not in a bad way. But there's just a lot of dads from back in the day did not think that they should be that way with their boy. You know what I mean? That's like. That's not like.

[Jacob Dylan]

No. If you at all think me sitting here and David, I've known you a long time, like almost 20 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Right.

[Jacob Dylan]

Pretty. You'd probably have to say I'm a pretty regular kind of person, right?

[Brian Bishop]

No, one of the most regular guys and. No, in fact, I realized recently, I was thinking when we met and I think it was doing a story when the wallflowers were starting out, they. Even as they were sort of coming together, you have these jams at Cantor's Deli, called at the Kibbutz Room. Right. The bar in Cantor's Deli. And I was sent by Rolling Stone, or I think I pitched Rolling Stone. I want to cover this. And it was sort of the. I caught the end of the scene and I think ended the scene by writing about it in Rolling Stone.

[Jacob Dylan]

I think that's what happens.

[Adam Carolla]

Ye. Oh. Because everyone caught on.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And. But I think the headline was the Last Schmaltz, which I think was the best headline. It's all downhill, my career in journalism. No, Jacob's one of the most normal guys and, you know, writes like a tortured artist, yet doesn't never struck his.

[Jacob Dylan]

Well, or maybe being a normal guy is what I'm good at presenting. But the point I was going to make was at least if I'm not a disaster, then what you asked previously would probably have to be mostly true. That it was more. I wouldn't want to say it was more of a regular upbringing because certainly it wasn't regular by any stretch, but, you know, I think I'm a pretty decent person. I would have to attribute a lot to that to be.

[Adam Carolla]

To parents and when did you form the wallflowers? And was it always something you were gonna do music or were there other things you wanted to do earlier on that you didn't or maybe did do?

[Jacob Dylan]

I started working on it in 1988. 89, right out of high school. And I did. I went to art school for about three months in New York because I was really Curious. I was really hoping that that would be more interesting to me than playing music, but it turned out not to be.

[Adam Carolla]

And did your dad try to talk you out of it or not going

[Jacob Dylan]

to the music business?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Just feel like through this, I think boxers do the same thing with their kids.

[Jacob Dylan]

Well, and it had nothing to do with playing music. That was always encouraged.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. It was just the business part.

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah. The music business is allowed.

[Brian Bishop]

But the weird, you know the weird thing I was thinking recently, this new single, which we should hear more of, called Reboot the Mission with Mick Jones. The first conversation I ever had with you, I think your band, the band that really inspired you to make music, was the Clash, wasn't it?

[Jacob Dylan]

It was one of them. Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Growing up, I'd rather. But I think, I think most businesses inherently suck and most people who know the ins and outs of any business will tell their kid that that's a shitty business to be in.

[Jacob Dylan]

Well, yeah. And if you met. If you think about me being 18, right. You're talking at that point he'd already making records for over 30 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. When did the Wallflower. When the wallflowers hit? Early 90s. Mid. Mid 90s?

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Mid. Or you were what age?

[Jacob Dylan]

25 or so.

[Adam Carolla]

So, so very relatively young. And then huge. And then what. How. How'd that feel? Or what did you. How did you react to it? Was it. Was it overwhelming? Was it cool? Did you have fun with it or did it make you want to retreat?

[Jacob Dylan]

I think it's cool. I think anybody would spend. I mean, it's confusing, but I appreciated every moment of it. And, you know, that's what I always thought groups could be big and great at the same time. There was a point somewhere where it seems like you could be one or the other, but the Beatles were great and they were big. So I thought it was nothing but a good thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think it can be both. I've found. Actually it's easy to say that about, like, it's funny because my kids, I have six year old twins, actually. The boy objected, which was kind of nice. But the Justin Bieber, they'd gotten the Justin Bieber off of. Off of the itunes or whatever. The I, whatever. And my wife was watching, her friend was watching it and you were sitting there and my daughter was going nuts. Even though she's six.

[Allison Rosen]

She's a real believer.

[Adam Carolla]

My son did the full boycott. Like he was up and he was in another room doing like watching gymkata or something. It's just a waste of my time. Doing like Tai chi or something, which I was just sort of proud of. But then, you know, you make fun of Justin Bieber, you go, oh, please, please. This bubblegum bullshit. And then you go watch the thing and you go, oh, no, the guy's a talented kid. Like, he's playing the drums when he's five years old and you realize there's, you know, every once. I mean, there is the Spice Girls and all that Menudo and that kind of shit, but. But most awesome bands, I'm using them as negative examples.

[Bald Brian]

Oh, what?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, what I'm saying, like, this is

[Brian Bishop]

really awkward, Adam, because I don't think Jacob wants to say it, but his new album is heavily influenced by Menudo

[Adam Carolla]

and the Spanish girls.

[Brian Bishop]

There's gonna be a series of Latin teens that we will throw out, saying

[Adam Carolla]

usually when you get behind it, I mean, when you scratch the lottery ticket a little bit, you realize, oh, no, there is some talent there. Otherwise we wouldn't know who the guy was. If Justin Bieber wasn't talented, we wouldn't know the name.

[Jacob Dylan]

You know, I haven't seen you talking about the movie specifically.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that what you watched?

[Jacob Dylan]

I haven't seen that.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not even a. I'm not a fan of his. But you watch the thing and you go, okay, he's singing, he's dancing, he's playing the piano, he's playing the drums. And he's not.

[Jacob Dylan]

You know, I haven't seen the movie or heard much music, but I wouldn't, I think. I mean, I like what it. I have no issue with it. Probably really good. It hasn't hit my household, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, we haven't. What do you. What do you have? You have four kids?

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah, but that. That somehow we kind of dodged that one. Well, I don't have girls for start.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well, then that's easy.

[Allison Rosen]

How old are your kids?

[Jacob Dylan]

They're four. Boy, it feels like a quiz.

[Adam Carolla]

Just add them all 4. 11. And then gives one number.

[Bald Brian]

He's the Antonio Cromartie of music.

[Jacob Dylan]

It's 4, 11, 14, and 18.

[Adam Carolla]

And all boys. Oh, yeah, Yeah. I think. Well, it all kind of depends. But I having a boy, ironically, I will say it could just be my boy. I don't know what your boys are like, David, but my boy's like sort of owning a cat versus owning a puppy, which is the girl, which is the puppy's fun and cute and all that kind of stuff. But that's a job. You can't just throw out some food and leave. You know what I mean, that's work. That is work. And the boy is no work. The boy is just playing with his. He's got his. He's got his Legos. He's. Yeah, he buries his shit the backyard. It's no prom, so leave that water bowl out. We gotta make sure the coyotes don't get him. You bring them in at night, especially if you're up in the hills. But the boy just takes care of himself. He really doesn't need you. He's fine.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I have to say, every time I'm around a family of girls, I come home and I'm thankful because it's so. And I was never one of those guys. I want sons because, you know, look at me. I didn't want to continue this lineage, particularly.

[Bald Brian]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Plus, you don't want to get your ass kicked when he turned 9. Yeah, exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

But my kids are relatively easy. They're. You know, the only worrying thing is. I got it. The only worrying thing was that they are fans of yours.

[Adam Carolla]

As you know, that's trouble.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a sign of some sort of early onset of issues.

[Allison Rosen]

That's a marker.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The boys. I don't know. The boys. Now, the boys can be trouble if they have the stunt gene, but if they don't have the stunt gene, they're fine. Like, my son's a puss. He doesn't go for the zip lines, and he doesn't want to get on the trampoline, and he doesn't. Which means. Because. Because if they have the stunt gene, later on they get their learner's permit, and then they get in the car, and then they're doing donuts at the Whole Foods down at the end of the bluff there. But if they. But if they don't have the stunt gene, then you don't have to worry about that. Can. You know what I'm talking about? Either one of your kids have the. Any of your boys have, like, that stunt gene where they're, like, going, we want to jump off the roof into the pool like that? No, they don't have that.

[Brian Bishop]

Mine are Jewish children.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Right, right.

[Brian Bishop]

Funny how that works. But no.

[Adam Carolla]

Forgot. Yes, Jacob? Any of the boys have the stunt gene?

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah, I think we all do.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, y' all do?

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You gotta watch out for that.

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Once they get their learner's permit, that's the problem. You have the stunt gene.

[Jacob Dylan]

Well, I lost the stunt gene.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, but you used to have it.

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah, I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

It's usually the marker for the Stunt Gene is jumping off of shit into bodies of water. Like when some like you, you'll sit around and you'll be in someone's backyard and then you'll look up and you'll see like the balcony of the master bedroom upstairs. And then you'll go, hey, man, there's only like eight feet of patio. You could clear that. And if you got to jump toward the deep end, but you can clear like you look. And then you end up jumping into pools off of apartment buildings. Off of the Mulholland Club. Off of. That's your favorite place, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah. No, that was when my wife and I, who were celebrating our anniversary by coming to the Adam Carolla show. When we went to see you live.

[Allison Rosen]

Apologize.

[Brian Bishop]

No, but when we saw you live the first time at the Improv, I guess it was. You told that story and we felt like validated our existence. We had no idea that you had done crime at our hangout.

[Adam Carolla]

We broke into that Mulhon club many, many a time. All right, so we have our songs. Jacob. Dylan's got his song, David's got his song. I. I agonized over my song because I felt like I was going to be judged by you too. But I arrived.

[Jacob Dylan]

Remember, I'm a fan, he's a critic. So you're gonna please one of us.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so should we start with Jacob? You have a song that you brought in that you enjoyed?

[Jacob Dylan]

I did. We discussed just the ZZ Top. Yeah, this is ZZ Top. My mind is gone from rhythm and from. I believe it's 1994.

[Adam Carolla]

1994 now. Why ZZ Top?

[Jacob Dylan]

I just think they're one of the best. And this record doesn't get talked about too much for unknown reasons. What an inspiring group though. We listen to this record a lot, making our new record.

[Adam Carolla]

Good guys and great beards. Great beards. And they're all crazy. Car guys come in here and bring their cars sometimes. Zz top must be going on year 40, right, of being together as a band?

[Brian Bishop]

It's like 60s, late 60s. Yeah, seven or eight. Yeah.

[Jacob Dylan]

That was Jimi Hendrix, favorite guitar player.

[Adam Carolla]

So I mean they're over 40 years of being like playing like. Yeah, they've never taken 10 years off or five years off. They formed in 69 and they're what year 69.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you. No, I interviewed them for a documentary for VH1 or something a couple years ago and they are like, like a couple that. A three way couple that's been married forever.

[Adam Carolla]

They're got their start playing at Canters. A lot of. Oh, no.

[Jacob Dylan]

Different band.

[Brian Bishop]

No, but they're. They're amazing. And they're still at it. They didn't they just do a record with Rick Rubin that they put a few tracks.

[Jacob Dylan]

I don't think that's finished. But I heard a rumor of that.

[Adam Carolla]

What happens when those mighty beards collide? You know what I mean? When Rick Rubin and the crazy beard and sunglasses come. And by the way, there must be be confusion where someone engineer walks in. It's like, hey, we're recording the. I'm Rick Rubin. I'm not. No, you're in the band. Rick Rubin, who I've seen who looks like he's wearing a fake beard that are attached to his glasses. When your beard looks like it comes off with your sunglasses, that's a bad sign. That's got to be a sunglass and beard. Just extravaganza. When Rick Rubin gets together.

[Bald Brian]

It was years in the making of those two coming together.

[Adam Carolla]

So. Name of the album, Name of the song. One, one last time, Jacob, please. So everyone.

[Jacob Dylan]

That was me. That was what we just heard. Yeah, that was easy. Top. My mind is gone from Rhythmian and Billy Gibbons.

[Brian Bishop]

If you. I know you. You know Billy. Yeah, Billy Gibbons is like the greatest. He's one of those guys who obviously admired the old dudes and then became one. Like lives a life. Like. I tried to interview him for something for Rolling Stone years ago and. And he would just say, call me. He was always. He was not on tour yet. He was always staying in a different like Super 8 motel in some small town. He just has never gotten off the road.

[Allison Rosen]

Because I used to always hear of Billy Gibbons sightings in Orange County.

[Brian Bishop]

I think these were all like sort of Texas and around the South.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, David, you have a song. I'm gonna throw an audible at bald Brian and tell him to find one. But I gotta write it down. All right, go ahead. You see if you can find it.

[Brian Bishop]

My song. I went. I also. I struggled 15 different choices this week over the week, thinking what I should play. And then because my wife agreed to play. Come in for. For the first time, and it's our anniversary. I thought of a guy who's one of my favorite artists who actually sang at our wedding. But he's. A lot of people. Know the Eels.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, Mark.

[Brian Bishop]

You know E, the guy from the Eels. But Mark, this was his solo career. This is the second record he made called Broken Toy Shop, just under the name E. The first one had a hit called hello Cruel World.

[Adam Carolla]

I remember The Eels that came in on Loveline a time or two. Back in the. Back in the day. Yeah, I think.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, no. And really great, great artist. This is a song from the second record, and it's called Shine It All On. And I love this song. And this was what I was in the mood for today. He did not.

[Adam Carolla]

Was that a tribute to your wife?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, he sang at our wedding. He was one of my groomsmen. He's a old friend who I haven't talked to in years, but I've always. This is one of my favorite songs of all time.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, he sung at your wedding during the time he was supposed to sing. Right. Because he did it any other time. It's just the world's rudest wedding guest.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Jacob said no, so I asked him to sing in my. No, he did. I asked him to sing In My Life by John Lennon at the wedding. And then he surprised us by doing Only women bleeding. No Mrs. He said, Mrs. Brown, you've got a lovely daughter.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

With my wife's maiden name in there.

[Adam Carolla]

So it was Mrs. Oh, she put Turk in there.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Got a lovely daughter.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that Herman's Hermits? Yes, exactly. That's a great song. It is a very good song. It's a good pop song.

[Brian Bishop]

Really great song.

[Jacob Dylan]

Do you want a chair? I just noticed you didn't get a chair.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no. I don't like a chair. I feel fine.

[Adam Carolla]

What are you doing? Oh, you are. Oh, sorry. I thought you had a stool or chair. So now this is not the Eels. This is E. This was pre Eels.

[Brian Bishop]

He did this in, like, 93. And then he got dropped by his label and his neck that next year. His best gig was my wedding. And we didn't pay, but we provided a beef or fish entree.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

And then he got. He reinvented himself as the Eel and Huge in England. Had a lot of. I don't. You know E at all?

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah, I do.

[Adam Carolla]

They were big enough out here that they were getting some spins on K Rock. And I think. And I think came in and did Loveline and that kind of stuff back in 99, 2000, or I can't even remember anymore, but this is.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, we call it Classic E Before the Eels. Also great stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Sounds great. And so this is what year and what album?

[Brian Bishop]

I think this is 93. And it's from an album called E. Broken Toy Shop.

[Adam Carolla]

And again, we'll have all these links on our website. You can go to our website, click through Amazon and find it all on. On the Amazon and if you want to purchase it, we'll give you the link.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I would say get. Reboot the mission first. Which. Can you buy it now or you can.

[Jacob Dylan]

You know, I think you might be able to. Or else it's still free.

[Brian Bishop]

We'll put a link.

[Allison Rosen]

You can get a free download. You could get a free [e-mail].

[Adam Carolla]

ah, there you go.

[Jacob Dylan]

That's what I'm supposed to know. And say.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, you can probably pre order. You can pre order as well.

[Jacob Dylan]

I think you can.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, My selection, I changed. I threw an audible at Bold Brian. And we'll see if he can. We'll see if he can check my wristband. It was sort of based. Sort of based on your ZZ Top. Because I got down to final two and I picked. Initially, I went with something from the Pretenders from their Aisle of View acoustic sort of thing from like 1994 that I really liked a lot. But then I felt like a puss. So I picked my second song, which was Lynyrd Skynyrd song. And I love Lynyrd Skynyrd because everyone just thinks him as sort of like country rock, except they had a swing to him. And this is one of those songs that they don't do anymore, sung by two guys. And then the other guy sings this part. And it's a good life lesson, which. This part.

[Brian Bishop]

You got that right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And I like the part where it comes to a fix, he's not afraid to fight. But I'll say this about Leonard Skynyr. They have a lot of range because they have a song called you got that right where they talk about if it comes to a fix, not afraid to fight. And then we've got another song called give me three Steps, which is I don't want to get in a fight, I'm leaving this bar.

[Brian Bishop]

The yin and the yin.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And lots of rambling in this song.

[Bald Brian]

In the other song, the guy was big.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's right.

[Bald Brian]

Portended him walking away.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm gonna say it again. If you guys like ZZ Top and this kind of guitar, check out Drunk Horse from Oakland.

[Beth Riesgraf]

I mentioned.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Last time. And people tweeted drunk Horse. Yeah. They used to be on Man's Ruin, and I think they release stuff on TP now. But yeah, people tweeted me that they checked them out and they love them.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's also when the one guy's singing, the other guy's in the back going, uh huh. Mm. And then there's, I think, even A grunt like he's in Molly Hatchet or something.

[Brian Bishop]

You recorded your new album in Nashville. Did you run into a lot of southern rock down there?

[Jacob Dylan]

I don't think we saw too many people. We kind of worked at a studio that doesn't have. It was just a one student complex.

[Brian Bishop]

I loved Leonard Skynyrd, you know, I love the Allman Brothers as well. But live, if you. There's like a DVD that came out a couple years ago. Them opening for the who in England. And they are the most. They famously, I guess, blew the who off the stage. And who are my. One of my favorite fans. But they just had a certain badass. They look legitimately scary. And.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, I only met them in their later years where they're not scary, but I think they were.

[Adam Carolla]

You met the Rossington Collins? Yeah. There's version of Leonard Skinner. Yeah.

[Jacob Dylan]

Well, there's also Oak Tree out of my way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jacob Dylan]

Don't forget that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He says it's just one of those songs where it's like, you're not gonna find me in an old folks home and you're gonna fight. He likes to drink and dance and like I said, a lot of range.

[Jacob Dylan]

You know, if they're. They're still playing. I mean, I don't know who's just. Rossington is still probably there.

[Brian Bishop]

I think it's only Rosna. But then they get back guys who quit early on. Like, I think there's a guy and John.

[Jacob Dylan]

Well, Johnny Van Zant has been there

[Brian Bishop]

singing for his brother like 30 years. And he's really does a good job, I have to say.

[Jacob Dylan]

But it's not a new thing anymore. He's been doing it since a lot

[Brian Bishop]

longer than Ronnie ever.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's weird. It's kind of like at a certain point when Jay Leno has been on longer than Johnny Carson. It's weird. And by the way, it's a marker for us all being old because it's weird when the backup guy has been around longer than the original. All right, Jacob Dylan in studio and yes.

[Bald Brian]

Awesome to play. Real quick, Jacob, do you like Billy Joel?

[Jacob Dylan]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you miss this? Oh, it's David Wilde's song. Yeah. We're sitting here with David Wilde. Oh, nice. Not much taller than a 10 year old child. Not the best.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Best looking guy in the place.

[Adam Carolla]

Gallagher's hair, DeVito's face makes his pages for the ruling stone. The wife's the lighter. Brilliant writer. The evidence shows David. Does he write this? Writing books is also part of this Game. In a way. He's just dropping names.

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

We're sitting here with David Wilde. Yeah. All right. We got a little.

[Brian Bishop]

It's Billy Joel's best work in years.

[Adam Carolla]

We got some news to do. Jacob and David will sit in for that. First, a quick shout out to one of our sponsors, eVoice. You get it all on eVoice. Oh, so professional. Yeah. Jacob, you have people that can handle this, but for guys like bald Brian over there who attempt to be professional but have to do it on a budget, they got eVoice. Awesome. For the business person on the move. Yes. Right.

[Bald Brian]

Obviously, I can't afford someone to answer the phone. A department to handle complaints, serious complaints, angry complaints, sexual.

[Adam Carolla]

Sexual nature. That's right.

[Bald Brian]

They can handle all that. They have made a little phone tree for you. And it goes to.

[Adam Carolla]

The calls are screened automatically. They can answer urgent calls now and get to the rest later. Let them go to voicemail. That can also transcribe those voicemails and. And do emails and text dye and they'll do custom greetings and menus and more. It's the mobile phone. It's your mobile phone at work and you can try it out for six months free. That's right. Evoice. Six months free. Evoice.com Adam Six months free, but only if you drop my name. Evoice. Www.evoice.com Adam E. Voice, baby. All right, Allison, let's do a little news, shall we? The news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison. Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with. Zip it, cunt. It's Allison. Allison.

[Allison Rosen]

So James Holmes has been checking. Charged with 24 counts of first degree murder. It's the Colorado shooter. For anyone who doesn't know him by name, 116 counts of attempted murder, one count of possession of an explosive device, and one count of a sentence enhancer for a crime of violence. And the maximum punishment is death. And the minimum sentence is life in prison without parole.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you say sentence enhancer?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know what that sounds like.

[Brian Bishop]

A perfume, like a cologne or a.

[Allison Rosen]

It sounds like Viagra. For your sentence.

[Adam Carolla]

Something Ron Jeremy might sponsor.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Brought to you by Hedgehog.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Allison Rosen]

See, I do know his nickname.

[Adam Carolla]

Sentence Enhancer. All right, so he's nuts. But then he's not nuts because he's smart and he planned all this shit out. We always talk about this because of. Well, we decide you're nuts. Defined. We define by our definition, like, anyone who shoots another human being indiscriminately. You know, when the bitch is asking for it. That's a different situation. I'll be straight with you. But when you're just shooting strangers in a movie, then we decide you're nuts. But on the other hand, you're probably better at calculus than we are. And you're able to rig your apartment and order a bunch of stuff online. I can't even order shit online. I'll fuck it up. It'll go to the wrong place. I mean, he's nuts in this department, but does that make you nuts overall? And then he.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, that's the question. I mean, I think that whether if he can use insanity as a defense, that means that he doesn't understand what's going on, he doesn't know what he did. And people are saying that he's acting insane in prison. He's spitting, he's saying, why am I here?

[Adam Carolla]

But isn't everyone who kills somebody nuts? You know, like, according to us, like, I mean, you know, I understand you raped my mother, and now you're gonna. You're gonna. I'm getting revenge. But then just the people that kill people, they're all nuts at one craze or another. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

I think as a society, the only kind of murder that we have sanctioned is self defense. Well, that's not a crazy act. But any other murder is considered crazy

[Adam Carolla]

in arson, when there's not insurance to be collected, you know?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. That's just careless.

[Adam Carolla]

Just shit burn. That's nuts. I mean, there's a lot of nuts out there.

[Allison Rosen]

He evidently was seeing a psychiatrist. That package that he sent to the university was addressed to her.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

And then that's why, you know, why there's a gag order on it, is because it's privileged, because it's doctor patient.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the most amazing part of this. This story, it's so horrible. It doesn't engage me. You know, it's like I'm very much a news viewer, but this story just turns me off. But I will say, the fact that the mailroom apparently didn't deliver this package to the psychiatrist for a week, 10 days, that is going to go down in history as the worst mailroom error of all the time, literally.

[Jacob Dylan]

Was it not his psychiatrist, though?

[Brian Bishop]

It was. It was. It was a professor and psychiatrist at the school who he wrote and apparently gave all the plans out to. And then it never happened.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, so he could have gotten it and thwarted this. Is that what we're saying?

[Allison Rosen]

He sent it home? Sent it before the shooting. So, yeah. The implication. I don't know. People haven't exactly said this. Yes, before the shooting.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, I know.

[Allison Rosen]

Had this been found.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Hold on a second.

[Adam Carolla]

I know it's before. I mean, has to be before. Unless the cops let him run to

[Jacob Dylan]

the mailbox one last time.

[Adam Carolla]

You can see it from my cell. So just watch. He sent before. But two days before. But two weeks before. That's an issue. Right. So the question is, if it's sent two days, three days before, and it's snail mail, that's one thing. But if it's sent 10 days or two weeks or something, then we got a. Brad.

[Jacob Dylan]

I also heard of that. It was not to his psychiatrist.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, we'll.

[Jacob Dylan]

But I. You're probably right.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll keep.

[Allison Rosen]

I know it was to psychiatrist. I don't know the timing, but I know that the. My understanding is that had they intercepted it, had they had the mailroom been on top of their shit and it had gotten to the right person, this potentially could have been.

[Adam Carolla]

So the implications that they got it before this. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And I'll tell you, the school what I heard today. And this is based on no actual journalism, which is my tradition as a journalist, but that what I had heard was the school was investigating how this information about the package was getting out. Because, I mean, put this together in Penn State, it's like these are situations where if the school didn't did something wrong and could be held, everyone's going to sue everybody eventually. And, like, we could put colleges out of business, like Penn State, and this school could be put out of business by the amount of litigation that should be coming their way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All I saw was the one guy in the hospital that forgave him. And there's always that guy, the Jesus freak who's in bed, you know, and the doctor said they got, you know, the bullet's too close to your spine. So we're gonna leave it again. That to me. Laziest doctors on the planet when we're gonna leave a bullet in you. Although it's an awesome conversation piece, like, I kind of want a bullet in me. I'm thinking about putting one up my ass just to have this discussion, you know, like, if I had a bullet in me that the doctors decided to leave, because every once in a while they will decide to leave that bullet. I would bring that up at every single party I went to. Guess who's got a bullet in?

[Allison Rosen]

If you were single, I wonder if you could use that to get dates. Mm, yeah, like the one ball thing.

[Adam Carolla]

How about I put a round in you, sister?

[Allison Rosen]

I guess you couldn't.

[Adam Carolla]

It's.22 caliber, but it's got some pop. All right, what's next? This guy's depressing me.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay, so Jacob Dylan's dad is tangentially in the news today because it turns out a writer from New Yorker magazine, Jonah Lehrer, resigned.

[Adam Carolla]

Your dad's Huey Lewis. Okay, keep going.

[Allison Rosen]

Resigned because it came out that some Bob Dylan quotes or quotes attributed to Bob Dylan in a book he had written, that Joan o' Leary had written called Imagine, were fabricated. He made up these quotes, and here is a statement from Lehrer. The quotes in question. Sorry. Three weeks ago, I received an email from journalist Michael Moynihan asking about Bob Dylan quotes in my book Imagine. The quotes in question either did not exist, were unintentional misquotations, or represented improper combinations of previously existing quotes. But I told Mr. Moynihan that they were from archival interview footage provided to me by Dylan's representatives. This was a lie spoken in a moment of panic.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, it's almost Oprah esque.

[Allison Rosen]

Then he. I know. He went on to say, the lies are over now.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, it just. It reminds me again and again, journalism has gone so in the crapper. Like, as opposed to the music industry, which, as Jacob knows, has never been stronger. But journalism, like when I was. I'm not that old when I was. And I'm still tangentially a journalist, although I mainly write for tv. But in the old days, you could write whatever you wanted. There was no way for anyone to criticize you except write a letter and mail it. Like a letter to the editor saying, I don't like this. But now, you know, journalism. The standards have gone to hell. The. But the accountability is so amazing, because anything you publish, within moments, there's, you know, a million people who can immediately notice and scrutinize.

[Allison Rosen]

But in our day, I'm putting myself in your day.

[Brian Bishop]

Back in the 40s, right when we

[Allison Rosen]

were doing the front page, when I was on the prairie, there were fact checkers.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And I feel like that's gone. I mean, at Rolling Stone, I'm sure they still have robust fact checking, but everywhere else, there's not that much.

[Jacob Dylan]

I hadn't actually heard this before. What magazine was it?

[Brian Bishop]

The New Yorker.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, he wrote for the New Yorker, but the misquotes or the fabricated quotes were in his book. Imagine.

[Jacob Dylan]

What's puzzling about that? I don't know who would have contested it, because I've written plenty of books about him that are totally misguided, with misquotes and lies I don't really know.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, this guy, Michael Moynihan, who's a journalist, wrote a piece about it in the online magazine Tablet.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, do you think. Here's what I have two thoughts on this. One is I used to just believe anything I read in the newspaper because I figured it's in the newspaper and that's the story. That's it. That's what I believed. And then eventually, when there started being articles about me, good and bad, you'd read half of it and it was just wrong. I mean, even the stuff that wasn't slamming you was just factually incorrect. And then sometimes my name would be spelled two different ways in the same article. And then I thought, was it always that way? Like, if back in the day, somebody read an article about themselves, I'm sure they'd still find a whole bunch of stuff that was screwed up, and they get it out of order and they get the wrong sequence and all that kind of stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

The horrible thing that's changed in journalism is, like, when I started out, and it's not that many years ago, so what year did the first. The second album come out?

[Jacob Dylan]

Like 96.

[Brian Bishop]

So even back then, like, you know, I've lost my point in time.

[Allison Rosen]

Back in 96, was it going to be about fact checking?

[Brian Bishop]

But even back then, no, I've lost my point in time.

[Jacob Dylan]

Listen, they'll come back to you.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, I have advanced. Well, I have a separate point then, and mine's about fact checking again, which is that when I used to write, when I was working at magazines where they had fact checking, they would sit there and they would look up everything and they would make sure the chronology was right and the stuff you're talking about wouldn't. If everything was going right, the stuff you're talking about, where the narrative was messed up or the names are spelled wrong, that would not have happened.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's. I'm sorry. My point was that in the old days, like, literally, there was. You would be. If I wrote a piece about Jacob, which I did, it was, you would be rewarded for writing a good piece. But we're living in a world where you are only rewarded and you only get noticed for writing something got you. Like, this guy got nailed today. Something negative, something with something humiliating to someone. There is no. Like, I was Sort of known. And I don't even know if Jacob would be aware of this, but, like, I think with Rolling Stone, I was one of the sort of nice writers which Cameron Crowe had been in earlier. Like, I knew a lot of artists, got along with a lot of artists, and obviously and genuinely respect artists, but that kind of journalism is over.

[Jacob Dylan]

What's ironic is we're talking about the one artist that would like to be misrepresented with total confusion and inaccuracies. And the further from the truth, the better. So why that guy got caught, I have no idea.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Where does dad live? Is he back east?

[Jacob Dylan]

Sometimes?

[Adam Carolla]

Is he out here sometimes?

[Jacob Dylan]

Mostly out here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Did not. Did not know that.

[Allison Rosen]

Maybe you'll see him in the Boo. That's what I like to call it. Jacob, do you like to be represented correctly in articles?

[Jacob Dylan]

Well, you know. Well, sometimes when it's true, it stings more than when it's not.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Jacob Dylan]

You know, that's. Sometimes when it's further off the mark, you just rather have more of that than actually well known or, you know, things that you care about, talked about.

[Allison Rosen]

Are you talking about a review or

[Jacob Dylan]

a critique or just personal critiques, I guess, or facts about yourself?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I've always said I'd rather. And I've had many minus four star reviews are much better than one and a half stars.

[Jacob Dylan]

Well, it just depends too, how. David, as you say, how the. You. You probably never gave many one or two star reviews in your time.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, actually, when I was a record review editor of Rolling Stone, I would do this thing where we actually had the columns, and if the column came up short, I would fill in and I would just destroy somebody. It was. I'm not always that nice. So I would do. I mean, if you go.

[Jacob Dylan]

Some records are really bad and they could be thoughtfully taken apart and dismantled. And that's okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

One paragraph on Dennis DeYoung's third solo album, for instance. You know, I remember that one being from Styx. Yes, he was Styx.

[Jacob Dylan]

That's a mega reunion waiting right there. That and Journey, they can all still do.

[Adam Carolla]

All I remember is, I think, seeing like a behind the music thing with.

[Brian Bishop]

That's one of the greatest behind the musics of all time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Bald Brian]

At the festival.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Bald Brian]

He's acting out Mr. Roboto or something.

[Adam Carolla]

And like, everyone is saying, that's a fucking hostile crowd. And some band like ZZ Top just got off the stage and they're like, look, we're going out there and we're playing the hits we're playing the rock and roll hits. And he's like, no, no. We're doing this conceptual Mr. Roboto. Mr. Roboto rock opera thing. And it's like, not in front of the festival crowd that just got done watching ZZ Top 5 Minute Skit. We're doing a skit.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's how weird.

[Adam Carolla]

Now get in your tinfoil outfit and get out in front of those drunken Texans. And like, out of a movie.

[Brian Bishop]

The guy who played I played Today E one day called me over to his house and said, I want to show you something. Like it was porn, snuff movie or something. And he pulled out a full live recording of the Mr. Roboto tour, which is. It is a rock and roll snuff film that you have to see it. It is unbelievable.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm dying to hear.

[Brian Bishop]

Viciously xenophobic concept album.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

Really Brilliant.

[Brian Bishop]

Brilliant. Anti Japanese.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

You got a lot of attention.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that.

[Brian Bishop]

Right up your alley.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Now I'm gonna check it out. I'll tell you what they ought to do. The Japanese ought to hang out with my good friend's legal Zoom. That's right. I don't know if you know it, but it's a national make a will month. That's right. A super uplifting national make a will month. LegalZoom.com wants to give you a special discount. And it's going to protect you. You got to do that. I mean, look at Jacob. You got your kids. You got all those gold records and Grammys. Yeah, you do have Grammys, right?

[Jacob Dylan]

I do, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

There you go. Yeah, I'm nervous there for a second. Grammys. You got them Grammys. You got them gold records. And you got to take care of it.

[Jacob Dylan]

I come from back in the day when they made platinum records.

[Adam Carolla]

Platinum gold and platinum records and Grammys. And God forbid you have a longboarding accident.

[Allison Rosen]

Don't be a 1 upper.

[Adam Carolla]

Like I said before, out at the Boo. And you gotta make sure those kids are taken care of. And that's why you go to legalzoom.com you protect your family, protect your assets with LegalZoom. Hit it, Dawson. Visit legalzoom.com and enter Adam in the referral box at checkout for special savings. LegalZoom is not a law firm, and self help services are at your specific direction. Individualized advice is provided through a legal plan available in most states. All right, let's hear the next story. Alison.

[Allison Rosen]

So we are overdue in talking about all the craziness swirling around Chick Fil A. As you probably know, Chick Fil A makes delicious chicken, but also great play

[Adam Carolla]

by Playman for the warriors for all those years through the 70s too.

[Allison Rosen]

But also is very religious.

[Adam Carolla]

Put them in the deep fryers. I think his catchphrase. Go ahead.

[Allison Rosen]

They're not open on Sunday and they're opposed to gay marriage. And the company president spoke to the Baptist press a couple weeks ago and talked about how their family company here. He said, we are very much supportive of the family. The biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family owned business, a family led business and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that. Lucky ladies. So anyway, so now a lot of people are boycotting Chick Fil a and the mayors of Boston and Chicago have said they will make it difficult for Chick Fil a to open up in those towns.

[Adam Carolla]

They're fucking insane. That's illegal. You can't do that.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, then Bloomberg came out and said, that's not government's role.

[Adam Carolla]

Of course it's not the government's role. It's our role not to go. To cheat Chick Fil a. It's not their job to have. Slow down the permit process. Are they fucking nuts?

[Allison Rosen]

Jim Henson's company, Muppets split with Chick Fil A because there used to be Muppet toys in the kids meals, but they.

[Adam Carolla]

I knew Jim Henson well and he hated gays. But continue, continue.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. And then Sarah Palin. So here's the thing though, is that Chick Fil a, I feel like now has become code for where you stand on these issues. And Sarah Palin tweeted a photo of herself at a Chick Fil a saying she was stopping in to, quote, support a great business.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't know, first off. And there's no Chick Fil a's out here.

[Allison Rosen]

No, no, there is one in Hollywood. And I drove by the other day and I was looking at it and it was pretty crowded. And I was thinking, well, aren't they listening to my news that I haven't said yet?

[Adam Carolla]

There's a couple things. They should have known something was coming.

[Allison Rosen]

They should have.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there was something in the air.

[Bald Brian]

That's game day food.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a couple things. First off, it's like talking people out of cocaine. You know, you can tell them what it's doing to their brain and how bad it is for them or what they're, you know, you know, the money's going to the drug cartels and then they take the drug and then they fucking. They make Prostitutes out of 8 year old girls and they're not Persuaded. And they're like, give me another bump. You know what I mean? I mean, it's like In N Out Burgers. They're run by religious. I don't know if they're zealots, but they're very religious family. In N Out Burger never stopped. I'm an atheist. It's all pushed aside when I get hungry and I want one of those In N Out burgers. So that's number one. Number two, I think these things end up being. I think they end up being more business because more people. It's not like. Like you get your nut jobs like chicken.

[Allison Rosen]

Hey, even homophobes like chicken.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you get Sarah Palin going over there, but also just in general, you get a nationwide, non stop, all day, multi day commercial for Chick Fil A. Like, whether you're saying it's good or it's bad or whatever side of the argument you're on, it's Chick Fil A. Chick Fil A. Chick Fil A. And eventually, I've never even. Oh, I had Chick Fil a once. Jimmy did a real powerhouse move, by the way. You want to know when you've arrived? He brought Chick Fil a in from Arizona for cousin Sal. His cousin Sal's 30th birthday, which was at my party house in Sherman Oaks. And Rowdy Roddy Piper. I know you're a big fan, Jacob. Rowdy Roddy Piper and Chick. It's one of those power. It's like an almost an Elvis move when you're either flying somewhere to eat

[Brian Bishop]

some barbecue or renting the movie theater

[Adam Carolla]

or renting out the movie. This is renting a pro wrestler and sending a guy on a run to Phoenix.

[Bald Brian]

As long as you're spending the money, have Roddy Roddy Piper bring the Chick Fil a.

[Adam Carolla]

He may have. I can't remember.

[Bald Brian]

Shows up, Chick Fil A in hand.

[Adam Carolla]

It doesn't travel that well. I'll bet you could probably get it back to your apartment, but crossing state

[Bald Brian]

lines, it's only a 90 minute flight.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think you may have wanted to drive, but. Yeah, I know everyone's very upset.

[Brian Bishop]

Part of the story that amazed me is the PR man for Chick Fil a died. Died, like instantly. Like, because no one had ever called for an interview before. He was overwhelmed. It just seemed amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

He was like the Maytag man. And his phone rang and he started clutching his heart and he just fell over.

[Brian Bishop]

That was a. Yeah, I didn't like that part of the story.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it weird that the actual PR guy Died over the weekend or like, right when. This is just the most bizarre thing in the world. Yes. Anyway, who cares?

[Allison Rosen]

Does this affect anyone's. Anyone's feelings about whether they would go? Because now I feel like it's become so politicized now that if you go,

[Adam Carolla]

oh, you're a statement.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, that's how I. But I never liked Chick Fil a that much anyway, so for me, it's not a big loss.

[Adam Carolla]

My feeling is you should be able to do whatever you want. And then everyone, the society, should either boycott you or support you, depending. I mean, the people will vote with their wallets and in this case, their bellies.

[Jacob Dylan]

Unfortunately, I don't eat chicken, so I won't be voting.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't eat chicken? I don't really. Just lamb?

[Allison Rosen]

Just veal.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I've always been a fan of Colonel Standards for his very erotic gay lifestyle, so I will continue to support the Colonel.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the man wears a white suit and has a cane. He is a pimp. He was really one of the first pimps. Crazy facial hair. Crazy cane, by the way. Not I can't walk without it, but a cane, like with a sword in it. Or maybe it was a hash pipe or something. And then a white suit. I mean, poppish Burl Ives sort of thing. Again, I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to have this take a turn for the racist. But carrying around a bucket of fried chicken, I mean, if that's not. If that's not a pimp's role, I don't know what is. All right, Sorry.

[Allison Rosen]

I've never looked at Colonel Sanders this way.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

But now I'm going to start.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Very strong pimp hand.

[Brian Bishop]

The whole finger licking good thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, Definitely sexual overtones.

[Bald Brian]

He had a greasy pimp hand.

[Adam Carolla]

Very greasy chicken.

[Brian Bishop]

All the talk of biscuits right there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Biscuit is code for a young girl. You turn out got a couple young biscuits

[Brian Bishop]

with honey or without.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, biscuits and gravy. Means they'll do a certain thing.

[Allison Rosen]

Westboro Baptist Church was doing its usual thing of protesting a military funeral. This is in Dupont, Washington. And can I say this to all

[Adam Carolla]

the potential and guys out there who are thinking about going on a killing rampage, that would be the place to do it. You know what I mean? Leave the people at the fucking theater alone.

[Allison Rosen]

Do what you want, but let us redirect you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, let us redirect your killing spree toward the guys who, by the way, are bound. I don't Think there's a court in the land that would convict you? Because they're just bound, the streets are paved with gold where they're going. You know what I mean? They're all going.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't think you'd think that, but I've been to the Westboro Baptist Church picnic.

[Adam Carolla]

You have lovely, they lovely people.

[Brian Bishop]

We're not protesting innocent, you know, people who've been killed.

[Adam Carolla]

I was protested by them once, but that was just lazy because I literally played a theater that was down the street from their church. And obviously anyone who plays their theater, it's always gonna be a band or comedian. It's always gonna be some pagan who's in there who's, you know, using swear words or singing about fornicating. It's. I think it's very easy for them just to walk down the street and do the theater. It's kind of.

[Brian Bishop]

Jacob, has anyone ever protested you ever had come?

[Jacob Dylan]

No, you mean formally.

[Adam Carolla]

What theater were we? What were we in? Kc? Yeah, the Uptown theater. You play the Uptown Theater in kc, I guarantee they'll come out and do it. Because any act, unless it's up with people, any act that plays, you know, even if it's a Broadway show, it's like, oh, the gays out there, like they'll just go down the street and do it. It's a target of opportunity, I think they call it.

[Brian Bishop]

My only brush with protest is, was in Salt Lake City when I was speaking promoting the Friends book and I was speaking to. And it was like the biggest crowd I ever had because I think they forced the kids college said, go to this lecture. So There were like 800 people in a room. But at a certain point I made some quote from Friends, you know, it wasn't that edgy. It was from Friends that aired in primetime and someone stood up like it said, blasphemer, corrupt the error of our children.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, and I'm not. That's like, I'm not a comedian, so I'm not used to hectic.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

That was.

[Allison Rosen]

What'd you do?

[Brian Bishop]

I wept. It worked.

[Adam Carolla]

Eventually he was like, hey man, this is my job. I don't go to your. That's right. You're fucking students, God dammit.

[Jacob Dylan]

Sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

And moving on, moving on.

[Brian Bishop]

Speaking of live appearances, if you've never seen the wallflowers, I don't know. Are you guys on the road right now?

[Jacob Dylan]

No, we just came home yesterday actually. But we will be on the road again soon.

[Brian Bishop]

Because I'm going to say Jacob's like, I've always thought he's one of the more talented singer songwriters around, but in the last couple of years I've gotten to see him live a few times and you've gotten good in your old age.

[Jacob Dylan]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean really great show to see. Anytime in any format you can see Jacob, but especially the Wallflowers are a great band and they have. You have a new drummer who's unbelievable.

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah. You know Jack Irons.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. He's amazing. He's played with.

[Adam Carolla]

You can go to Jacob Dillon, by the way. Jacob with a K. Jacobdyllon.com and I'm guessing find dates and tour dates and

[Jacob Dylan]

things like that for the Wallflowers on the Internets.

[Brian Bishop]

And at the Wallflowers too.

[Adam Carolla]

At the Wallflowers. All right. Or.

[Brian Bishop]

And wild about music.

[Adam Carolla]

Why I don't understand, in a land of laws, why we can't keep these maniacs away from these fallen heroes funerals.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, so here's the thing though. Now there's some vigilante protest of the protests because eight Westborough nuts showed up. 300 people dressed as zombies showed up to overtake the protests. Now the protests are being protested.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know how they organized.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But even I feel like if I was putting a loved one in the ground, the 300 zombies wouldn't make me feel fantastic about the day either. You know what I'm saying?

[Allison Rosen]

That's a good point.

[Adam Carolla]

I would go with.

[Allison Rosen]

They obviously didn't consider.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Hey, let's pick the undead theme.

[Allison Rosen]

Who roams the land for your inert relative?

[Adam Carolla]

There's a very ghoulish theme here.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a tad and sending.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you should be dressing up like Paul Revere and the Raiders or something. You know what I mean? Like Minutemen or something.

[Allison Rosen]

They're also opportunists.

[Adam Carolla]

What are the Zombies doing?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, they're just like a flash mob. They said we wanted to turn something negative around into something people could laugh at and poke fun at.

[Adam Carolla]

Something that would scare the shit out of all the kids.

[Allison Rosen]

It was the easiest way to divert attention from something so hateful.

[Bald Brian]

At a cemetery too.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Again. Yeah. There must have been shooting a video or something nearby. How are these people? Why the zombie theme at the funeral though?

[Allison Rosen]

Speaking of costumes, how do we feel about people who are super into Halloween?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I understand if they're sexy. Yeah, I understand.

[Bald Brian]

He can do whatever he wants.

[Adam Carolla]

There's the guy who's been working out all year and he's going as the baby with just the diaper on. He's trying to get laid. You know, there's the. Trying to get laid. But then they're the ones that take a refrigerator box and paint it up like tampon. Like a tampon box. And then them, they're. They're, you know, they're married. They're married couple. And they both have like a tampon head or something. Walk around the party knocking shit over. And they can't. They don't have use of their hands.

[Allison Rosen]

Just go as a tampon, not the box.

[Adam Carolla]

The people are just smearing the metallic paint all over their face and stuff. No, I. You know, I'm. I. I'm so bad. I want is a. Last year I went as a Zancoo Chicken employee. I just had the shirt.

[Allison Rosen]

That's not a costume.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what my wife said. But fuck it. What am I doing putting a bunch of grease paint on? What do I got to prove? And by the way, once you're married, Jesus Christ, are you going to a

[Allison Rosen]

party or just trigger answering the door?

[Adam Carolla]

I had to go to Cousin Sal's party. I put my Zancoo Chicken. I think I had a hat.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you know how Zanku Chicken feels about gay marriage?

[Adam Carolla]

You know what?

[Brian Bishop]

That out first.

[Adam Carolla]

I could imagine. I would imagine they're not massive fans of gay marriage.

[Allison Rosen]

Does anyone who serves fast food like gay marriage?

[Adam Carolla]

I would say. I'd say Jack in the box. You got Jack. Actually, that seems pretty straightforward right there. Yeah, I don't know. I'd say the Jack in the box seem to be pretty progressive to me. Wendy's a lesbian, and the guy who created the square burger seemed a little bit uptight.

[Allison Rosen]

Del Taco Pinks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, pinks. All right.

[Brian Bishop]

What else is not Taco Bell material? A gay lingo.

[Adam Carolla]

It should be.

[Brian Bishop]

He's cute, but he's not Taco Bell material.

[Adam Carolla]

It's funny because people say to me, I have a book out called Not Taco Bell Material Jacob. And people say all the time, like, oh, that's cool. You get free Taco Bell. They give you a free Taco Bell now. And I'm like, well, first off, stuff, it's almost free now. Like, for everybody. You're 39 cents away from three tacos. Taco Bell is free. It's just. It's the hassle of the Taco Bell. Like, I don't mind Taco Bell. I just don't like getting my ass out of the house and going and getting the Taco Bell. And it's actually sadder in a weird way when it's a hassle. And it's only a buck 89 after you're done loading up and bringing it back up to your house.

[Allison Rosen]

Just highlights how lazy you are.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What you want is Ruth Chris Steakhouse or something like that or something by the sea that you want an unlimited supply of the Taco Bell. Again, unless you're unemployed or make less than minimum wage, it is about free.

[Allison Rosen]

Remember on game shows when you used to win a lifetime supply of shampoo or something?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

I feel like you don't ever hear people winning lifetime supplies of anything.

[Adam Carolla]

And I always wonder, like, how do you calculate that? They did that with chapstick. Like, how much? How do you know how often I apply chapstick? And what is a lifetime? Obviously it's not our life supply. Times would be very different. So you'd have to find they'd also do the.

[Allison Rosen]

And size of lip should be considered.

[Adam Carolla]

They do the ship. They do that with, like zbrick, which is like fake brick paneling that would go up in your den. But again, I don't know how big. They wouldn't know how big your den was and all that kind of stuff. It was very sad that I spent almost my entire childhood watching those shows going, God damn, if I had a jet Ski and some Z Brick and unlimited lifetime supply of shampoo, that would be awesome.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't have SiriusXM because I bought when they started the Lifetime membership, the lifetime subscription. And I assume that was my lifetime and it was the lifetime of the really shitty plastic piece. Piece of crap.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Brian Bishop]

And it died within a few weeks. And on principle, we don't have it. In fact, you know, I mean, I go back to Stern as a, you know, forever. I don't listen to it. And then my wife just got it two days ago, so that now it's the first time I've heard Stern in years because of. I'm so angry about my life. I'm still up in arms.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they shouldn't. Yeah, they shouldn't do that.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, it shouldn't be. They shouldn't have an investment in their thing being a piece of shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

In other words, if they sell you the lifetime membership and it breaks within a day.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

That's over.

[Adam Carolla]

Jacob, what do you do? Watch a lot of reality tv.

[Jacob Dylan]

Not a whole lot.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Jacob Dylan]

I don't mind them. No, I'm not.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you like?

[Jacob Dylan]

Which one do you like?

[Adam Carolla]

Is there something I can get sucked into just about any argument between chicks? You know, eventually most of these reality shows are.

[Jacob Dylan]

I Don't mind those shows. The ones make you feel bad. Some of them just make you depressed.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. The ones where the people are hoarders and morbidly obese and all that, they bring me down. But the ones where good looking people are arguing, I don't mind those.

[Jacob Dylan]

I've seen the one. There's. Well, there's Pawn Stars, but then there's the other one.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Pawn Stars is great because the guy comes in and he goes, this is Archie Moore's light heavyweight belt that he earned from beating sonny Liston in 1963. Not a penny under $5,000. It's like smash cut to the guy going, I'll give you $70 for it. I go, I'll take it. And that's my favorite.

[Jacob Dylan]

Have you seen the other one? It's Hardcore Pawn. Have you seen that one? That one's really. They just make people come in and fight. That one's not.

[Allison Rosen]

What's it called?

[Jacob Dylan]

It's called Hardcore Pawn. It's not all the same. Yeah, it's all play on the same thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I like when they call in the expert because he always has a crazy mustache. This guy knows the Civil War. All I can think is how little this guy got laid in high school. But they call the expert in and the expert is looking at the musket and then he's explaining that the foundries of the day would have had a certain stamp on it. And I don't know why I get sucked into that, but, yeah, I do. I get sucked into all the fishing shows, all the logging shows, all the shows where fathers and sons are yelling at each other. It's great stuff.

[Allison Rosen]

If anyone wants to start watching Bachelor Pad, I'll talk your ear off.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, just start it up again. It's good. Bad. Yeah, I'm missing it right now. For the people who are listening to this in the morning. So Finding Nemo. There will be a sequel. Finding Nemo. I know you love that movie and that will be coming out in 2016.

[Adam Carolla]

Finally, Kid Allen can get herself a paycheck for a change. That was good. And that'll have Albert Brooks in it.

[Allison Rosen]

They haven't said who the talent will be, but it is Andrew Stanton, who had a hand in nearly every Pixar movie worth watching has received. Let's see.

[Adam Carolla]

Love Pixar.

[Allison Rosen]

He'll be Cars.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think I'm in some Disney movie or something. That was a mike. Someone's gonna have to go on the computer. What was that movie? It's Coming out. I don't know when it's coming out. I'm doing the voice of a cop. It was a video game. Yeah, it was a video game.

[Allison Rosen]

Mindy Kaling's in that too.

[Adam Carolla]

I think Mindy Kaling's in it and Sarah Silverman's in it. And oh, what's his name was in Boogie Nights and every other. Every. Is it in every movie. What the fuck is his name? Oh, come on.

[Allison Rosen]

John C. Reilly.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, he's in it. What is it? Oh, wreck it, Ralph. Yeah, my problem is I don't. I don't like video games and I rarely play video games. I don't know what they are, but I have to pretend like I know what they are when, you know, wreck it. Oh, yeah. Now I just use my kids, you

[Brian Bishop]

know, and until I'm cut out, I'm in a movie with Albert Brooks coming up.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Is that the one with Graham Parker?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. But let's say no more. But that's, that's my dream is because I believe if I'm in it, I will be sweating more than Albert Brooks sweated in broadcast news. And it was not any special effect. It simply was flop sweat of a.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't, you don't, you don't realize most movies, there's a lot cut out. Like, I didn't understand that you make a movie and like, like I used to think if you got cut out of a movie it's because you sucked or there was something wrong or whatever it is. But they make movies. As I was saying, I saw Seth MacFarlane, Ted. I saw about a 2 hour and 20 minute version of that. And we're talking afterward and he said, we're gonna get rid of at least 40 minutes of this thing, like this scene and that scene. And like if you were in that scene, you take it personally and maybe you should. It probably wasn't the best scene in the movie, but oftentimes they just gotta get 40 minutes out of a movie and something's hitting the floor.

[Brian Bishop]

And often it's not enough. When you see a lot of movies, you go, there's another 40 minutes. Jacob, you never. Did you ever act? I know you've had songs on soundtracks.

[Jacob Dylan]

I haven't.

[Brian Bishop]

You've been asked a lot.

[Jacob Dylan]

I have been.

[Brian Bishop]

And no interest. Because you're a good looking man.

[Jacob Dylan]

Thank you, David.

[Adam Carolla]

It's true, he rarely ever kisses the ass of an artist. Make a rare exception.

[Jacob Dylan]

That must have been painful. David.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I haven't.

[Jacob Dylan]

I have been asked before and I regret not Doing some stuff before, but I'm all ears. You know, I'm still around.

[Adam Carolla]

Yo, you'll do it now.

[Jacob Dylan]

Something was really interesting at the. If I thought I could. If I thought the part sounded like something I could do, I would.

[Adam Carolla]

At the time when you guys first came out, were you more withdrawn? Like, I remember, like, it was like, well, he doesn't want to talk about his dad, like at the beginning. And now you don't.

[Brian Bishop]

He still doesn't.

[Adam Carolla]

You just keep asking. Oh, I'm just being a dick.

[Jacob Dylan]

No, you know what? I didn't. I really don't have to now. I mean, it's because I never really have. It doesn't come up that much anymore really. But it was never that big of a problem for me anyhow.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, it wasn't all right. I never knew. I don't think you guys did Loveline, so I wasn't able to interview you. But I just remember.

[Jacob Dylan]

How did you guys stop doing that?

[Adam Carolla]

I did it from like, actually someone was reading my IMDb to me when they were doing a bad interview with me today, and I found out it was from 95 to 2005. So I did it for 10 years and it's still going on, but I'm not doing it anymore. But. But it is funny. By the way. You want to talk about Mike? Do you remember after the show. After the show you want to talk about the most unprofessional interview. After the show we did in Buffalo on Saturday night? I just got done signing autographs for 350 people and all I wanted to do was get the the fuck out of there. Because we had a flight and we're gonna meet in a hotel lobby at 6:15 in the morning. I just want to get the fuck out of there. And this one guy said, hey, man, I do online whatever. Could I get just a couple of minutes? Just a quick interview. My wife's got the camera. We'll just do a stand up thing when you're done. I was like, yeah, okay, that's cool. And so he like holds the mic up and he's got the mic and says his wife, all right, you're on. You're going. And he's like, okay, hold on. You want to get high? And I was like, yes, but not with a fat guy with a huge medallion in the parking lot. People should say with me. Because the answer of do you want to get high? Yes, with a model in a Jacuzzi, but not with your fat ass and your nine. How many medallions did that fucking. Oh, we'll find a picture. Quite a few. Yeah. But it was a T shirt and shorts and he asked you to get high in front of a state trooper. There was a state trooper waiting for an autograph. And I said, well, just hold on, let me just do a quick interview. And he said, you want to get high?

[Bald Brian]

It was a sting operation.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah. He gave us a zip fizz. He gave us a zip fizz container. It's like this stuff you dump into water and it's got vitamin C in it. It's like emergency, emergency. Except for this one had a joint in it. People, I appreciate all the guys who make the, you know, the 750 milliliter home brews and give them to me and stuff, but you understand, I'm going to the airport tomorrow morning at 6am and I can't bring the drugs. I can't mule the drugs and the. And the homebrew and all that. It's a sweet gesture. I just. I can't do it. But I appreciate it and I usually just give it to the state trooper. You gotta just. But just so we can really say how. How great an interviewer this guy was.

[Brian Bishop]

You want to tee up?

[Adam Carolla]

What his first question for you was? I can't even. Well, his first question was, you want to get high. But second question. Second question. So you got a book coming out, right? It's been out for about two months. But yes, I appreciate it. He was wearing a T shirt and had an actual ounce of gold hanging. So it was a classic. I've heard.

[Brian Bishop]

Jacob, I don't know what your experience is. I've heard that the worst journalists are German. That it takes on the feeling of interrogation. Vaguely Nazi, like, oh, I don't know.

[Jacob Dylan]

I mean any. Well, yeah, I guess the language can sound aggressive. And if you were more sensitive. I mean. I know what you mean, but I don't think generally they're. What'd you call, more aggressive.

[Brian Bishop]

I've just heard they were the toughest, the meanest. And the British press, I guess, when they turn on you.

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah, well, British press is nastier. I've never. In my circle, nobody talks about. About the German press being anything.

[Adam Carolla]

German press. Sounds like another gay move. Yeah, Guy fucking came up behind me. Young biscuit with gravy gave me a German press. I'll give it a five. All right, let's bring it home, baby girl.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Alison Rosen, tip icon.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

That was the news with Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah, Zoosk. Who did we figure out was single around here. Ah, that's right. Matt the porcelain punisher Fondelier. You hear that, ladies? He's not gonna be single long, though. I can. I can promise you that.

[Bald Brian]

Flush your loneliness away.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He will not be single for long. You know why? Auto erotic asphyxiation. Yeah. It's not. He's gonna be snapped up by hot chick. He. We got to get him on the Zeus. That is a zoo. That is Z O O S K dot. You can meet thousands of local singles for free. Free. The hell's going on? 25 languages, including German. That's right. And members in over 70 countries. So wherever you are and wherever you hear this and people listen all over the world to this podcast, you check out Zoosk. If you're single, use your Facebook. You can use it to create your dating profile. Likes and interest from your Facebook. Make sure and lie a little bit on that at least about your weight. People who sign up through Zoosk.com Adam will get some free what they call coins that allows you to send virtual gifts to increase your profile and your popularity. Zoosk.com that is www.zoosk.com Adam. If you're single, you're listening. You want to check it out? Be our guest. All right. I want to thank Jacob Dylan for coming in. Glad all name of the album Return of the Wallflowers out. Probably come to a theater in a soccer stadium near you. You can check it out. You can go to his twitteracobdyllon. You can check out the website at Jacob Dillon now the wallflower. What did we talk about with that, David?

[Brian Bishop]

It's hewallflowers is a new Twitter account. I don't know if Jacob is hewallflowers. Well, that's the little a at address that is a Twitter.

[Adam Carolla]

Either way, we can find out when the wallflowers are coming to a theater near us.

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah, of course.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. All right. And David Wilde as well. Who you nipping at the heels of Rick Springfield?

[Brian Bishop]

I actually passed Rick so much. I gained, interestingly, 24,000 followers this weekend. I don't know how that happened really. But in any case, for at least for this week, we can say suck at Springfield because I'm.

[Adam Carolla]

You passed Rick Springfield.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm doubled Springfield.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

So I. I think if we can get me to 50,000, I'm at 41 again. I don't really know, but I think it's 41714.

[Jacob Dylan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You can Twitter him at Wild about music. And again. And who. And who you closing in on?

[Brian Bishop]

I'M going for Rick Perry next. Rick Perry again. I wish I could go for Steve Perry. I don't think he's on Twitter. But Rick Perry, who didn't win for president, still has, I think 200,000.

[Jacob Dylan]

So I'm, you know, has far less followers than all of these discussions we're having. Is the wallflowers. So once you. Oh, yeah, come on, let's do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, let's do that. So is it just Twitter them at Wallflowers. The wallflowers at the Wallflowers. All right, Me and Howie Mandel from Montreal just for last festival that's coming up for us to all enjoy the bonus episode with Dr. Drew. We do that just for you people. That is available now. And we got another one coming out this Sunday as well. And my book available as we speak. Not talk about material. Also, an evening with me and Dennis Prager, Houston and Phoenix combined, available now on itunes. Keep us at number one on the spoken word, please. And until next time, this is Adam Kroll for Jacob Dillon, David Wilde, Allison Rosen, and Ball Brian saying mahalo. I am done with hash browns as we know them. I want things with raisins in them.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

All right, that's Adam Carlisle Show 881.

[Adam Carolla]

Coming up next, we have Adam Carlos Show 885, actress Beth Ricegart, Allison Rose, and Brian Bishop from 2012.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Beth Riesgraf]

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[Adam Carolla]

O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, love that jingle. Oh, oh, oh. So they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. We know that. They're also, you know, I don't have too many car issues. Usually I can figure them out, but if I can't, I go to O'Reilly. And they got all the stuff there. Mostly stuff for me because the new stuff's like a computer, but my vintage cars, man, I can get a lot of parts from O'Reilly. They got thousands of parts in stock either in store or online, so you never have to worry if you get in a jam. Also, they'll test your battery for free, and if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. It's O'Reilly Auto Parts. Right? Dawson stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us@O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam

[Beth Riesgraf]

Adam Pluto TV has thousands of free

[Adam Carolla]

movies and TV shows. We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the mindset. Free. This is the mantra.

[Allison Rosen]

This is the mindset.

[Adam Carolla]

With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire Star Trek film franchise and Gladiator, and TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the fairly odd Parents and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Pluto TV stream now pay Never.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello Adam Carolla Good day, Bo. Brian, you're losing your hair.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe. I was thinking about something today. I know it's gonna make me sound like a colossal, but a lot of my colossal assholishness most people agree with with at least that's how I sleep. You guys all beat your kids, right? Here's the thing. In the Olympics there used to be chick sports and dude sports and they'd sort of COVID them accordingly. Like they'd always do the gymnast. They do the gymnast. That was a chick sport. It was Nadia Comanich and Olga Corbett and all that kind of stuff. And that was a big chick sport. And then the dude sport would come around. That was the hundred yard or the, you know, the triathlon or whatever. What? Not triathlon, but the pentathlon or the whatever Tathlon mega megacarthalon. There was the dude sport and there was a chick sport that the basketball for the dudes and like I said, chicks gymnastics and diving, some swimming and stuff like that. I feel like it's all feel like A, too much of everything. B, a little too much in the chick sport department. Like mostly most dudes don't like watching like WNBA for the most part. We don't like watching women's softball.

[Bald Brian]

You don't speak for everyone. Yeah, you do.

[Adam Carolla]

Actually. Forget about me. If you talk to the folks at ESPN and you ask them what's more highly rated, your baseball games or your soft female softball games or your college World Series or your softball World Series, they could tell you which ones more Americans watched. It's one of those things I don't know. But figure skating probably more men probably enjoy watching women figure skate than guys figure skate.

[Bald Brian]

Ironically, espn, one of the Worst defenders at foisting the WNBA upon people.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bald Brian]

But, yes, you're absolutely right.

[Adam Carolla]

We have our sports where we've agreed nobody's interested in, like, skeet shooting, men or women. And then there's sports that we kind of like both ways, like gymnastics. Like, I'll watch the dude on the rings, and I'll watch the chick doing the tumbling. And then there's the swimming. That's kind of the both ways. And then for track and fields, a little more dude oriented. And then there's basketball. We want to see the dude. And that kind of stuff. I feel like they just split it down the middle and just went, well, everybody. It's kind of what they did with pizzas, where somebody just went, well, just get half pepperoni and half cheese. And no one went, half the people don't want pepperoni or half the people don't want cheese. I'm watching, I feel like. And I don't know how the coverage goes, but I feel like I'm sitting there and they're going. And now, coming up next, the women's marathon, followed by the women's 440, followed by the women's equestrian. Whatever. And maybe the equestrian. But I'm like, I've never watched this many women compete in my life. And I'm not that really into it. And I don't. I'm not that into dudes in the marathon, but the chick's marathon time is 20 minutes slower than the dude marathon time. And thus, I only want to see the. I don't wanna see the F1. I don't wanna see the.

[Allison Rosen]

You're into the triumph of the will.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm into. Yeah, that's exactly right. That's right. No, I'm into. Well, first off, as a rule, I would rather see men compete in sports than women. And so would everyone else in America.

[Bald Brian]

Everyone.

[Allison Rosen]

Because they're just better, as a rule. Okay. I can't get behind that.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't like watching either, as a rule.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, well, I'm not sure they're more. The men's sports are more popular.

[Adam Carolla]

They're. They're vastly more popular. It's not. I don't mean the dads of the chicks that are playing in the. Who are shooting skeet. I don't mean them. I mean down to the person. I just mean when it comes down to the NBA finals and the WNBA finals, I can't name a person who play. I don't know what two teams played for the WNBA finals. I bet most people can name two or three guys who played in the the NBA finals. We voted as Americans. That's what we voted on. Now, like I said, beach volleyball. Kind of rather watch chicks play it.

[Bald Brian]

I was just thinking the same thing. And it's not a bikini thing, but they honestly watching Misty May and what's her face play Gary Walsh, that's goddamn artistry. They're like, watch them play together.

[Adam Carolla]

It's their sport. I feel like it's their sport. I feel like the Olympics now just splits it down the middle. Here's the dudes running the marathon. Here's the chicks running the marathon. Here's the dudes running the 440. Here's the chicks running the 440. And I don't like the. I think we'd pick and choose. Focus on the gymnastics, focus on the beach volleyball and then with the, you know, forget about archery and forget about the equestrian shit. But then focus on the dude marathon and focus on the dude, you know, 100 yard dash or whatever it is. And I know they get their coverage, but I feel like we just split it and I need more dude sport in there. All right, where was I? Agreed.

[Bald Brian]

You watched the canoeing, the kayaking. They have a man made river with like man made rapids. Oh, yeah, it's really interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I keep waiting for the country bear jamboree guys to do the color commentary.

[Allison Rosen]

I would be into it.

[Adam Carolla]

That I would watch. All right, maybe it's the. Maybe it was the woman's marathon that got me screwed up yesterday because they stayed on that motherfucking thing like, well, we're now mile number four. And then somewhere it's like, now we're getting near mile 11, so it's time to pace. And it's like, wow, just watching these chicks run a long ways, it's really crapshoot.

[Allison Rosen]

Turning on Olympics, I find.

[Adam Carolla]

It really is.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, more of this. Now they're still swimming. Where's the gymnastics?

[Bald Brian]

I find cycling to be the most boring.

[Adam Carolla]

Cycling's pretty boring.

[Bald Brian]

I love the tv.

[Adam Carolla]

The women's marathon is pretty cheap. I mean, look, the last. Yes, the last five minutes of any marathon is all they should show. I could do with a little more pole vaulting. I don't see. I seem to have missed all that.

[Bald Brian]

It hasn't happened yet.

[Adam Carolla]

No pole vaulting? No. No javelin? No.

[Bald Brian]

I don't think any of the decathlon stuff's happened yet.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but how about just individually?

[Bald Brian]

That's what I mean. I don't think any of those events have happened.

[Adam Carolla]

No, but not the decathlon I just mean individual events. Events. Pole vaulting. I'm pretty sure that's this coming week. All right. All right. Look forward to that. Couple things. I was going out on a Saturday night, and I was driving down Sunset Boulevard. This is one of those only in LA things, and I saw a McLaren. Oh, MC12. Or is that the fucking. Or is that the Maserati? What is that? What is that McLaren? Mike, it's MC12. All right. How much is that? How much is that vehicle, really? Come on. It's $256,000 base or something like that. It should be easy to find, especially since we talked about a half hour ago. Now, can't find the price of that. Brand new. It's only McLaren that's made. All right. I'm gonna say obviously we're dumb. It's okay.

[Allison Rosen]

Not the stroller McLaren.

[Adam Carolla]

It's $265,000. Maybe. I don't know what it is out the door. I don't know if they're putting a premium on them or not. It's a world class. It's obviously. Yes, it's the benchmark for supercars. If you type in McLaren MC12, obviously. Price. Will you not get a price from the computing box there? Obviously. All right. They're for sale. No. Okay. All right. Anyway. All right. 267K. I was way off. Thank you. I'm driving down Sunset and I see the McLaren, and it's the first McLaren I've sat in the car. I know the car. Crazy. Monocoque. Airplane, you know, jet fighter technology.

[Allison Rosen]

You say monocoque.

[Adam Carolla]

Monocoque.

[Allison Rosen]

What does that mean?

[Adam Carolla]

Monocoque.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

Monocoque.

[Adam Carolla]

Mono. Because of what it means, the car doesn't have a frame, per se, or even, let's say, a chassis, but like an F1 car's monocoque. Like it has a tub that you sit in and then, like the suspension component. Yeah, yeah. There's great words like homologated and monocoque.

[Allison Rosen]

I like all of that.

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[Allison Rosen]

Sounds like Greek heroes.

[Adam Carolla]

I wish my monocoque was homologated. Yes. Would you like to homologate my monocoque?

[Beth Riesgraf]

I don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

I've only dealt with Bicox.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Homologate means they have to make a certain amount of the street version in order to go racing with them to call it a street car. What they do is they'll build a race car and then they'll go, hey, we're racing this car. And they'll go, you can't race it unless there's a street version of it and have to make like a hundred of them. And then they're really expensive later on in life. And that's called homologated. But anyway, I see the new McLaren supercar and this thing's the world beater. This thing is the new standard. Whatever Lambo's got out, whatever Ferrari's got out, they're all chasing McLaren. And I saw first one on the street and I thought, wow, man, look. And of course I did the. Who's driving this bad boy? And I turn on and it was two.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was two chicks, 20. They may have been 28, they could have been 31, but they look closer to 26 and they're both wearing the huge sunglasses and like the scarfs and stuff. And I was like, jesus Christ. And they had that sort of look that everyone has now. Because now that everyone is straightening their hair and either lightening or darkening their skin, we're all meeting in some weird straight haired orange middle.

[Allison Rosen]

Everyone looks like a reality star.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, everyone just goes, I'm gonna iron my hair and I'm either gonna try to go up a couple of shades or go down a couple of shades. And we're all gonna wear the same shit. Like it ain't. It ain't. It ain't anything where it's like anybody's wearing anything that's indigenous to their people. It's just all.

[Allison Rosen]

It's indigenous to Bloomingdale.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's just Bloomingdale. So I'm kinda. They sort of. They look like there's something, but I can't. Again, I can't tell from the hair and I can't. And by the way, now that everyone's gotten a nose, everyone with a nose that's mild, that would give it any indication. And look, whatever your color, your ethnicity, whatever we're talking about, a nose is a little bit of a telltale sign with certain cultures. Now that the nose got fixed up in Beverly Hills a few years ago and the lips got plumped up, it's really hard to tell who's what anymore. It's just sort of. Sort of non Caucasian, but I don't know, maybe Caucasian with a lot of tanning shit on and whatever. Anyway, two chicks, and I'm like, God damn. And I'm starting to think about it, like, okay, what do they got this car.

[Bald Brian]

What time of day was this? Was it like going out time?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it wasn't. No, it wasn't that late. It was about 6:45. It was a little bit early sun was up, and I started to think, you know, basketball wives. Like, what's going on here? This is the most technically.

[Bald Brian]

They were limping.

[Adam Carolla]

One of the most technically advanced supercars ever built. I mean, this is not just, you know, a Bentley is. Hey, everybody, look at me. You know, I'm married to a rapper. But this isn't that. This isn't.

[Allison Rosen]

This requires some appreciation for cars.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a.

[Bald Brian]

This rock and roll girlfriend.

[Brian Bishop]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's kind of weird because they're the, you know, like I said, there's the everyone, look at me car, and then there's the car that is just an F22 Raptor fighting jet. Like, this car's a jet fighter.

[Bald Brian]

Stupid question.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it a stick shift paddle shifts? No stick shift. Paddle can shift.

[Allison Rosen]

Drive it is what he's trying to ask. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You could probably put it into automatic and drive it around. Yes, yes. And now you can drive everything because they're all tame. I mean, they have computers. You can kind of drive, but it's the most technically advanced, fastest, coolest car on the planet. And there's these two chicks, and so I'm looking at them and I'm going, which ones? What's going on? What's the story here? And then at some point, I see one of them take a bite of fast food. Like, literally, just like Taco Bell. Like. And I was just like, were they filming a commercial? I pray to God. I just thought, jesus Christ, it's all over. Wait, it's all over? Why?

[Allison Rosen]

Why did the fast food make you think this? Because they should have been eating caviar in this car.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, it's exactly right.

[Bald Brian]

But that's my first thought was. Was rock and roll, girlfriend. Like, I'm drunk. Drunk on a PPF's. McDonald's.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. If they'd had clams on the half shell. No tableau.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I understand.

[Adam Carolla]

You're eating food while you're driving a supercar. All right, now, the saddest part is you didn't understand the food part. Now we've really lost it. We've lost it. We've lost that. That's my point. It's not your fault. We've lost it. We've lost it. This is. And it ruins it for everybody who works their ass off who wants one of these cars. Like, it's like your job is to build some sort of company and then sell it and then make a bunch of money, and then the end result will be. What result will be. One day you'll own this McLaren now it's all ruined because the chick was just eating a Bell Beefer in it and doesn't even know how to drive a stick. Oh God. Now I got to know who it is.

[Bald Brian]

That car is Taco Bell material.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they both. They had that look like Vanessa Williams, you know, kind of that like blue eyed black with straight hair. But the bandana and the big sunglasses, kind of hard to tell what was going like, but maybe a little lighter. Yeah, I can't, I can't. I can't figure out. Well, Paris Jackson's. She's white though. Are we talking about Michael Jackson's kid?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, Paris Jackson.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah. She has dark hair. Yeah. But she seems almost white to me, which I think she is. I mean I don't. There's not a Michael seed in there, is there?

[Allison Rosen]

I've been wondering that as well. I believe.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think so. You see pictures of him when he's young. It's like, no way. That's not. Not. I've seen the black mom and white dad or vice versa. And the kid usually 9 times out of 10 comes out sort of in between those two. I know people do this sometimes, but you look at all the Jacksons pre. All the weird surgeries when they were kids, see The Jacksons circa 1973, they all look the same. There was not. Well, that kid's really. That's the light skinned Jackson. They all look like Jacksons. Yeah. I wouldn't say if I saw Paris Jackson, like, hey, I'm dating this black chick. I wouldn't know what to call her. But this is kind of what I'm talking about. We're turning in. That's as light a picture of Michael Jackson as I've seen pre. All the work, by the way. All right, so anyway, eating fast food in the $270,000 McLean, going down with the girlfriend, going down Sunset Boulevard. All right, the other thing I wanted to bring up, totally off topic. Do you guys notice there's a lot of commercials, mainly beer commercials, but a lot of like phone commercials where these concerts are breaking out on top of roofs with this really good looking people just fucking jamming. Like super hot again. It's multicultural.

[Bald Brian]

Usually not a band, but it's a dj, right?

[Adam Carolla]

It's. No, it's a band and a dj. They have the dj, they have the band version. Everyone's super cool. No one is over 25. Everyone is totally hot looking, but I'm not trying kind of a way. And there's super hot black chicks and white Chicks and like Asian chicks and everyone's all mixed up, all the ethnicities are mixed up and everyone's cool and they're just on some Manhattan roof and if just some party is broken out and they're filming it on their phone and then transferring it up onto some Jimbo Tron somewhere, it's all going down. And sometimes it's a beer commercial and sometimes it's a phone commercial. But I'm like, where are these things? Cause I don't believe they exist.

[Allison Rosen]

I lived there for a long time and I tried to find that and it never happened.

[Adam Carolla]

The band is kind of like if there were four white Stripes, you know, they're like jamming. They're doing like super indie, like bearded jammy. Like we don't even know we're being filmed. We're jamming jammy. Bearded jammy. We don't know what's. Are we in a commercial? No, we're not a commercial.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a lifestyle.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's fucking lifestyle. And let me tell you, this roof can't handle too much more of my jamming. They're just jamming and they're just on a roof somewhere. And everyone's good looking. No one's trying to fuck like, no one's like, hey man, I want to fuck, you know, and there's a super. Oh, that's the, that's the chick from the Samsung whatever commercial. You're the T mobile chick. But everyone looks really good. There's black guys who sort of dress like indie white dudes. Like, there's the new black dude who's not blacking it up. He's going the white dude or indie white dude route. And then there's white is the new black. Yeah. And then there's the hipster dudes and everyone's got a beard and everyone's girlfriend's hot, but they're not really their girlfriend. Well, they're a hot chick who they hang out with, but they don't really want to fuck, which is weird. No one's trying to hook up. No one's drugging anyone and trying to fuck them in a bathroom. There's just good looking people.

[Allison Rosen]

No one's getting frisked on their way in, right.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's just things just breaking out. There's a Corona commercial where they're like on the beach and the bands getting it on and then they're at a club and they get. It's like a lot of impromptu cool indie bands busting out music in different places. I don't Believe this really exists.

[Bald Brian]

Feels like it's over capacity too.

[Adam Carolla]

I also feel like people just see one commercial and go, wow, man. Yeah, that's cool. We should do that commercial. Yeah. What do we do? Get some. Get the five white stripes together, put them on the rooftop and get a whole bunch of models just to hang out and rock. Must feel pretty good for the band to have hot looking chicks that are being paid to rock.

[Bald Brian]

Oh, I'll bet there's commercial bands who make more than real bands. A lot more than real bands.

[Adam Carolla]

You could be reprimanded if you're not rocking hard enough to this band. Must feel pretty good when you're up there. You know, your amp, your guitar's not even plugged in and you have a bunch of super hot models just like going, yeah, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Now do you think, how does that band feel about the free credit report.com band? Oh, they look up or down.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

Sellouts, dude.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking selling out.

[Bald Brian]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah.

[Bald Brian]

They're not keeping it real.

[Adam Carolla]

They're not keeping it real. We're up here.

[Bald Brian]

They had a chance to keep it real.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we're airplane our fucking shit up here on this roof, man. And then we're getting thrown up on a jumbotron look out. And everyone's hot and multicultural and they all just want to get it on except for they want to rock out first.

[Allison Rosen]

And also the people, the hot models who are filming them on their phones. The way they film it and the way they hold their phone is not at all like how an actual human being does something on their phone.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they do it like they're shooting a rifle. Yeah, There's a way of filming something where you're looking at what you're filming. And then there's a way of filming something where someone is filming you filming. Yes. This is you being filmed filming it. Because when you're really filming something, you. Yeah, you hold it and then there's always a. There's a movement too where you kind of turn it back toward yourself and then turn it around like you go, is this fucking thing working? But she's holding it like a model.

[Allison Rosen]

And your mouth isn't in like kissing pose. When you're actually doing something, it's sort of slack and you might start drooling.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Yeah. And they have hot looking chicks with every different kind of haircut doing the exact. It just. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

So now all the hot people on the street can enjoy the band because it just went onto the jumbo trail.

[Adam Carolla]

Alrighty. Righty. Right, right. Okay, let's See, now on to a serious topic. It's the 67th anniversary of Hiroshima or Hiroshima or whoever you want to say. And always a lot of controversy about the atomic bomb in this country and blah, blah, blah. And I heard a story about Truman's grandson, Harry Truman's grandson made the pilgrimage to Japan to commiserate and apologize and do whatever he had to do on behalf of Americans for, you know, lighting off a couple, couple bombs on Japanese soil. And Clifton Truman, Clifton Truman, Daniel, that's his name. And there's a plaque there evidently at Hiroshima where it's sort of a, you know, let's not let this happen again is basically this, this, this should never happen again is. And I've gotten arguments with people over it in the past because, you know, I always just say, well, it saved a bunch of lives. So that's the justification for dropping the bomb. And they go, but one life is too many. And I go, awesome dick weed. Now, now that option is not on the table. The zero lifes option, although I love it and you're a hero, you're an absolute bonafide hero for coming up with the zero option. That's great, but that's not the option. The option is 150,000 or 175,000, depending on what the combined number is and depending on who you're talking to. And it's kind of hard to figure it out exactly. But, but there's one number that under 200,000 and then there's another number that may be over 2 million. So I'm just going to take the 200,000 choice. Is that cool with you? And then the guy will always repeat one person too many and I go, thank you, Hira.

[Bald Brian]

Does anyone really believe that though? Because the only options are prolonged war and atomic bomb.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't really believe most things. Most blowhards don't believe most things. They say, they just, all they know is there's something called a nuclear bomb and it got dropped on somebody and it got dropped on somebody twice and those people were shorter than we were to start with. And somebody dropped that bomb and it was us. So who's to blame? And first off, as far as the, we should never let this happen again. I got news for Japan and the world. You bomb Pearl harbor and you rape Nanking. It will happen again.

[Bald Brian]

Who's named King?

[Adam Carolla]

Here's it's my aunt. You don't rape a whole bunch of Chinese and enslave a whole bunch of Chinese and don't rape and enslave a whole Bunch of Koreans and don't bomb Pearl harbor and I can promise you it will not happen again. But you do that again and there's the distinct possibility that it may happen again. And if you're listening, Dresden, it may happen to you as well. So the whole point is there's a way to prevent all this from happening, which is don't start shit. But if once you start shit, then sometimes you get bombed. It's like keying your car. I can key your car, but there's

[Allison Rosen]

a good chance drop a bomb on you.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. There's a good chance I may go out to the parking lot one night and find that my car had been keyed. Now there's a good way for me

[Allison Rosen]

to avoid getting my parking lot street justice.

[Adam Carolla]

My car key. Do not key your car. And that will prevent it.

[Bald Brian]

But this is an escalating war.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yes, I was watching. I was actually listening to my buddy Dennis Prager today. He has something called Pragertopia and it's something I did and it's interesting. It's non profit and I actually might. They don't tell you what topics to do. My topic I did was on luck, bad luck and trying to convince my kids, kids they had bad luck. That was my topic and another psychological change thing that I did. But he does politics, he does religion, he does everything else.

[Bald Brian]

Is this Prager University or is this

[Adam Carolla]

different, I'm sorry, Prager University. I was checking it out and they have a guy on the program by the name of Father Wilson. I think it's Ms. Campbell. Father Wilson. And he in five minutes or less goes over basically what happened and why it was necessary. And I found it pretty, pretty interesting. And there's a couple of pictures that go along with it, but you don't really need it. And I realize a lot of people don't know the history and don't know the history of what happened and he will enlighten you. So enjoy.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

President Harry S. Truman's decision to use atomic weapons against the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki proved to be one of the most controversial decisions in American history. As the years have passed, the controversy has only intensified. More and more people, both in America and abroad have condemned both President Truman and America for that decision. But this criticism is based on limited historical knowledge of both the situation Truman confronted and the basis for his decision. Such flawed analysis has been aided by the unfortunate influence of some very bad history such as that written by members of the so called atomic diplomacy school. These historians disgracefully alleged that Truman proceeded to drop two atomic bombs on a Japan which he knew was on the verge of surrender so as to intimidate the soviet union in the already developing cold war. That specious interpretation must be refuted fully. His goal was to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki, two major military industrial targets, to avoid an invasion of Japan, which Truman knew would mean, in his words, quote, an Okinawa from one end of Japan to the other end quote. His assumptions were entirely legitimate. By July of 1945, the Japanese had been subjected to months of devastating attacks by American B29s. Their capital and other major cities had suffered extensive damage, and the home islands were subjected to a naval blockade that made food and fuel increasingly scarce. Japanese military and civilian losses had reached approximately 3 million and there seemed no end in sight. Despite all this, however, Japan's leaders and especially its military clung fiercely to notions of getsugo decisive battle. In fact, the Japanese government had mobilized a large part of the population into a national militia which would be deployed to defend the home islands. Confession confirming the Japanese determination to fight on Is the fact that even after the use of the atomic bombs against both Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the Japanese military still wanted to pursue that desperate option. The atomic bombs forced emperor Hirohito to understand clearly and in a way, his military leaders refused to comprehend that the defense of the homeland was hopeless. It took the unprecedented intervention of a Japanese emperor to break the impasse in the Japanese government and finally order surrender. It was only the dropping of the atom bombs that allowed the emperor and the so called peace faction in the Japanese government to negotiate an end to the war. All the viable alternate scenarios to secure American victory, All would have meant significantly greater American and allied casualties and much higher Japanese civilian and military casualties. According to American military estimates at the time, those numbers would have been well above 1 million. Hard as it may be to accept, Japanese losses would have been far greater without the bombs. And the overall casualties would also have included thousands of allied prisoners of war whom the Japanese plan to execute in case of invasion.

[Adam Carolla]

What that's not the Japanese I know of.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

The bomb should be seen as his choosing the least awful of the options available to him. Even in retrospect, far removed from the pressures that truman faced in 1945, his critics can offer no serious and convincing proposal Regarding a viable and less costly alternative. The judgment of history is clear and unambiguous. The atomic bombs shortened the war, averted the need for a land invasion, saved countless more lives on both sides of the blood so conflict than they cost, and ended the Japanese brutalization of the conquered peoples of Asia. Given the alternatives, what would any moral person have done in Truman's position? I'm Fr. Wilson Moscamble, professor of history at Notre Dame for Prager University.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, we cut it off before the fights all anyway. There you go, ass wipes. Now shut up and listen. What the fuck's Truman's grandson going over there apologizing for? You fucking did. We did you a favor. Greatest fucking favor I could have done.

[Bald Brian]

We saved you.

[Adam Carolla]

Millions of people fucking gives a shit. Go out and look in the parking lot. There's four or five Japanese cars. I got three Japanese cars in here, and I'm racing two of them at Laguna Safe coming up in two weeks. I'm just saying all we do is fucking beat ourselves.

[Bald Brian]

I'm giving it a real the German

[Adam Carolla]

cough and apologize to everybody about everything. They should be apologizing to us. They would have fucking done the same thing to us times 10. They had plans. Oh, they had plans. You got to watch those late night shows on the History Channel. Yeah, Allison, they thought they were going to firebomb the Pacific Northwest. That was their whole. That was their whole plan. They thought they could start a forest fire that would engulf, like, our entire country. But anyway, we did the right thing. Hold your head up, Americans. And if anything, instead of complaining about what we did to you, Japan, you should be apologizing to China and most of the women folk over there for what you did to their grandpas and grandmas. Thank you very much. All right, we have. What can Adam complain about? We got our guests coming in here. We got a lot of stuff going on. Ah, I got go to meeting. No, I don't. I got to go to my PC. That's right. Go to my PC. Brought to you by Citrix. Turn to your laptop and your iPad or your iPhone or your I. Whatever Candy. Into your office computer. That's me. Connect directly into your office Mac or your PC from home or wherever you are. I don't. People do that. Who the h. Yeah, I'm trying to think. I think it's the when.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't like any of that.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't like any of that either. I like the where and the when. All right, Anyway, you want to work on your computer. You want to work on the Mac. You want to work on the PC. You want to do it on the go. Well, you go to my good friends at. Go to my PC. Free. 45 days. Free. Try it out. Free only if you use the promo code. Adam, Visit. Go to my PC.com click on the try it free button and use the promo code. Adam. All right. Do we have some what can Adam complain about stuff? The world is full of it and one man can complain about it all. This is what can't Adam complain about? Hey, Daniel calling from North Carolina. Carolina.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Danielle from North Carolina.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Danielle. Sorry, couldn't see it from here. Danielle from North Carolina. Yeah, man, say hi to Clay Aiken. What's going on? Hey, how you doing? Good. What can't I complain about?

[Beth Riesgraf]

I think you probably can't complain about your dog.

[Adam Carolla]

Molly's one good ear. Alright, boy. Hang on, sister. First off, ball Bryant, can you give me my best. I left it in the corner. I forgot about that. First things first. Usually think of adding things as costing money. Like you know, breast augmentation. Cutting an ear off cost me at least six grand. They did the move where they're like, ah, we think we can again. I would love to be a veterinarian. I got into the wrong business. See, I was a carpenter like I should have if I was a veterinarian instead of a carpenter. I should have brought the same attitude veterinarians have to carpentry, which, which is. I think I can hang the front door, but don't count on it. Don't count on it. There's a pretty good chance it'll be five grand if it doesn't work. There's a good chance it might not work. But anyway, give me the $5,000 and we can talk about it. Either way, I'm going to get the five grand and then at some point I'll tell you it's not going to work. And then I'm going to need another two grand to remove the door because it didn't work. But you do love your house, do you not? It's great. What are you supposed to do? Yeah, liar. And backhand him like, what the fuck do I know about dog ears? But it is a little bit suspicious that veterinarians go like, alright, what do you got there, dog? Alright, what do we have over there? What's next, ferret? What's next, turtle? How do you know so much? I don't think. How did someone who's not good enough to be a doctor doctor to work on people know about 700 species of animal? I don't. Maybe you're not what you call an expert in any one particular animal and maybe somebody been f like you know, ear, nose and throat. That doctor, that's what the guy. We take human being parts, we break them into parts we don't even have one guy can handle all the parts. You got one person handle a whole goddamn menagerie. I gotta work on my nose a little bit there. Here's the thing. Hold on a second. Here's the thing too. I'm tired of people coming to my house. What happened to Molly's ear? Because she's got her ear cut off. First off, let's go over the possibilities here. I got drunk and took a steak knife to it after the Rams lost. Okay, that's off the table, right? I wouldn't say that. Right. You're kind. She was attacked by a baboon that was carrying rabies. Like, you know there's some procedure or something. Looks like. Like it was. I mean, caught in my goat herself. Yeah. I'm just saying, you pretty much know some kind of growth with a little cancer. I mean, look, if we were in Tijuana now, I want. Now. Now we got a story. Oh, she got into it with a badger. You know what I mean? Like, that's why fucking dog saved my life. I was in attack by a drug kingpin and she went in a fucking shotgun blast. Took it clear. I mean, we're in Tijuana. That's the one. But when we're in LA and we're up on the hill. It cost me eight grand to have that thing removed. That's basically what happened. And you know, there is. What's the sound of one hand clapping? There is a sound of one ear flapping. That's a flop up. You know she does that dog move. We know she does say I'm got out of the pool, though. She won't get in the pool, but if she gets in the pool, you know she does that get up, flap your head around move. It's a weird one, one, one Zori in the spokes. People say Zori anymore. All right, guys can Google that shit. All right, let's see, let's see. Hop on the phone here. Yeah. Will. Hey, man. Will from Ohio. Young 16 year old Will. Yep, very young. What got you on the podcast, Will One, one day when I was like 13 or so, back when you first started, I was looking on itunes for

[Brian Bishop]

Sarah Silverman and I thought she was on your show.

[Adam Carolla]

So I listened to it, I liked it and then I got hooked. Wow. I like that. Tell a friend, baby, what's going on?

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know if he has any.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you, Will. Tell your imaginary friend. Go ahead, Will. You can't complain about Jimmy Kimmel's parents. Oh, Joan and Jim Kimmel. Well, a couple things. First off, as I always said when I met Jimmy, you know, I have this thing. I'm one of these guys who. My family's so fractured and so out of it and so fucking dead inside that when I hear people do that thing where they give their kids nine middle names, it makes me fucking violently angry because I have no middle name. And also, even the junior thing pisses me off because my dad would never think about that. Like, why would I name my kid after me? And why? Why? It's slightly pompous, but it also shows some thought. Like I want my name to carry on through. You know, there's a lot of things you do in life that are sort of pompous and egotistical but for, I mean, look, you can build a library and put your name on it and maybe an egotistical, narcissistic move to. But meanwhile, there's a lot of hobos who got a place to sleep now. Either way, when I met Jimmy, I didn't know his dad's name. I didn't know the whole situation. So one day I gave, I laid into him on the. This junior bullshit because I knew his kid Kevin wasn't a junior. And I did the whole fucking junior bullshit. And then he gave me the. I'm a junior. And then I had to, you know, go, yo, yeah, not, not you. I mean, not when you're named Jim. You know, my dad's a gym and if I'd been a gym, that would have been cool. And then, then I gave him the whole. My buddy Ray with his brother Rich and Rob. And Rob, Rich and Ronnie and Ray. And how just fucking retarded that was. And as I've told you before, he said, I'll tell that to my brother John and my sister Jill and my mom Joe. And I said, oh, yeah, that's uncomfortable as well. So two very uncomfortable name based discussions with Jim very early on. How the fuck was I supposed to know he had one of those goofy families where everyone picked out a first letter like the goddamn Kardashians. They've taken it to a new level though, because they actually take Chloe and start it with a K, you know, now all bets are fucking off, right? You just start Charlie with a K while you're at it. Either way, his parents, much better than mine. I see them for Father's Day and I see them at all the events, the feedback, San Gennaro and all that kind of stuff. And as fucking fantastic as his parents are, it always reminds me of what losers my parents are when I have to see this guy's parents. And what a weird contrast that I got hooked up with Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Kimmel's like his two things in life are playing Scrabble and being adored by his parents. Those are his two. Those are his two hobbies in life. Those two greatest things. Number one, Scrabble. Number two, being adored by parents. Now where's that lead me, God damn it? In a drainage ditch with the rest of the goddamn losers.

[Bald Brian]

All right, I spelled cat again to play Scrabble competitively.

[Adam Carolla]

It gets into arguments with people over Scrabble. All right, that's enough of that. That's enough. That was what? Can't Adam complain about Beth Reese Graf coming in? The hottie from Leverage, fifth season? What the fuck is what happened? It's like when that kid said he was 13. When I started, I was like, you were. Oh, shit. I'm the same age. How did you jump ahead one quarter of your life? Someone's got to work this out. We will talk to the breathtaking Beth next. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Hey, Adam.

[Brian Bishop]

I noticed not Taco Bell materials listed

[Adam Carolla]

at Craigslist for free. And Van Nuys. You better get on that.

[Brian Bishop]

Otherwise, who knows what might happen when

[Adam Carolla]

your mom's searching for her next appliance. Take care. Thanks. You can leave us a message at 888-63417. Yeah, everyone's a comedian. Stamps. Spit on myself. Stamps.com. that's right. Post office fat. That's what I say. As best people from Minnesota would say, feh. All you super tall blondes from Minnesota, feh. To the post office, you would say, with the traffic and the parking and the hassle. Oh, and the people. Come on, let's. You're not gonna do a lot of networking at the post office?

[Allison Rosen]

I always bring my business cards. I feel like it doesn't get me anywhere.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no one's ever said, you know what? Guess what happened today. I was waiting in line at the post office, and J.J. abrams pulls up. And so we strike up a conversation, and the next thing you know, I'm in the new Star Trek now.

[Allison Rosen]

You don't get discovered there.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's a lot of unwashed masses and asses in that place. Let's go to stamps.com. never closed. That's right. 2510. I've upped it from 24. 7. I just rounded up. That's a lot. I rounded up. What's wrong with that? You know, if you bought. If you bought a sweater and it was, you know, $27.99, I paid 30 bucks for it. Someone scream liar at you? No, they're open 2510. It's right. I got a special no risk offer. You can try it out. $110 bonus offer. The digital scale. 55 bucks worth of free postage only if you enter. Adam. Never go to the post office again. And Again, they're open 2510. Go to stamps.com. click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in Adam. That is stamps.com promo code. Adam. You get the free digital scale and the 55 bucks and all that good stuff. What's going on back?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Not much. Oh, thank you.

[Allison Rosen]

Thank you for the.

[Adam Carolla]

I like you because you're from Minnesota and that's where there's a lot of normal people.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah, there's a lot of normal people and there's a lot of. There's a lot of friendly people there. I realized I've been in LA for a long time. It kind of hit me this week when I was there, because everybody that I was talking to, the guy who does the shuttle from the aspect place or whatever into the terminal, he's like, so where are you from? How long? God. Yeah, we've had a lot of humidity here. And I was just like, huh?

[Allison Rosen]

Totally.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah. And I was finding myself not wanting to talk to the guy. And I'm like, this is somebody's grandpa and I'm in Minnesota. I need to, like, reroute my brain to be talkative and chatty, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Cause when you're in la, the guy drives the shuttle. Where is. Where do you go? Where is. Where is home?

[Beth Riesgraf]

I'm on the bike.

[Adam Carolla]

Where is home? Get it out or you're going to airport. Where is airport? What is terminal?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Let me out of the cage.

[Adam Carolla]

What, this?

[Allison Rosen]

I can't do it anymore.

[Bald Brian]

New tip now. Same amount of yelling from the drivers, but now it's under the Bluetooth. Yeah, they don't yell at you anymore.

[Allison Rosen]

They've just rerouted their yelling.

[Adam Carolla]

It's so weird when you travel. It's how, you know, I've always. I've said this. It's like one of those things where, you know, you're in a horrible relationship. When you break away, you start dating a new guy, and he, like, comes around and opens the car door and you're like, what are you doing? Is there something in there? Yeah, yeah. It's weird that you're like, no, I was in a Horrible relationship. LA is like this horrible, abusive relationship. And you get used to it and you just kind of get beaten down by it. And then you travel and you go into like a, you know, Kwik e Mart or 7 11. And some chick goes, hi, how are you? And you're like, why? Who asked? What do you want to know?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Why? What do you want?

[Adam Carolla]

What do you need to know for? And then it's like, could I use the bathroom? Sure, go ahead. And you're like, okay, what's the trick now? What's it. What do you do? Make some kind of weird videos back there? What do I gotta buy? Who do I gotta blow? How do I use that thing? Where's Glory Hole? And it's like, not just normal people. Friendly, regular, normal. I don't know.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Who are they always talking to in the cabs too, by the way, on the Bluetooth?

[Allison Rosen]

That's what I wonder.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Long ass conversations. It's not just like, hey, yeah, I'm gonna be working late tonight.

[Allison Rosen]

And then a party line.

[Adam Carolla]

Not only that, but the fucking squawk box is always up at 11. And it's like, okay, sure, sure, boy. Terminal five, terminal five. Everybody's trying. And I'm like. I'm always. Michael backed me up on this. I'm always like, can you turn that shit down? Because here's the thing, you cannot go do whatever it is they want you to do because we're in the car and we're heading for the Marriott, so. So you're off the list of possible people who can go to the airport or can go down to the prison or can go wherever the fuck they're telling you to go to go pick up somebody. Well, here's the thing.

[Allison Rosen]

By the Marriott, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

You are mathematically eliminated from this noise that's coming out of that broken speaker for the next 27 minutes.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, you're just hearing about stuff you can't do and it's torturing all of us.

[Adam Carolla]

What are you gonna do? Put a fucking. Pull the E brake and hook it around. There's someone at the airport. We're going back.

[Beth Riesgraf]

I'm not listening.

[Allison Rosen]

Anyway, I'm on the phone, so. He's not even listening.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Anyway, Beth. Leverage season five, by the way.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, is this season five, year one, or is this season five, year three? Because I feel like these shows, there's no way the show was on the same amount of time that Dukes of Hazzard was on.

[Beth Riesgraf]

It's been on for five seasons. But what they do is they Break up each season into that. You know, they air a bunch in the summer, they take a little break, and then they air the rest in the fall. And the fans are always like, why are they doing that? Why are they breaking it up? I don't. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

A season back in the day would just represent a year, right? And so if someone was on, you know, it'd be like, he played in the league for 13 seasons. Oh, okay. He was in the league for 13 years. That wouldn't be 26 years in 13 season or four years in 13 seasons. Like, you could do the math on how. Because you'll do that. You go see, got in the league was like 21, 22. So he retired at 34, 35. I could do that math with television. I used to do that math. Now no longer.

[Allison Rosen]

So how many years has to shove it on?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Well, we did the pilot. Six days. We did the pilot and then it was like a year before we actually started filming. You know, you wait, find out if you get picked up or whatever. So it's been a season, a year, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

How's Timothy Hutton? Just colossal. Dick.

[Beth Riesgraf]

That's amazing.

[Allison Rosen]

He's fantastic, actually. He's.

[Beth Riesgraf]

You know, we spend practically every waking moment together, the five of us, on the show. And he's like my brother.

[Adam Carolla]

Is he a guy who. I know he was. He was a big star at one time, and then he kind of slid behind the lens a little bit. He was doing, like, I don't know, writing, directing and stuff like that. It seems like his. Like, there's a lot of people. You go. The business chewed him up and spat him out. And then there are people who did things by choice. I feel like Tim Hutton kind of did things by choice.

[Beth Riesgraf]

I think so. I mean, he's also a father. You know, he has two kids. He has a place in Paris. He travels a lot, and he knows a lot about everything. Like, he built. Built this amazing house. He built the stairwell by hand. What's it called with that dowel? What's it without? When you don't use nails?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No, it's pagan groove. And there's dowling.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah, he can do that for dovetail joints. Spider veins.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Mortise and tenon.

[Adam Carolla]

There's mortise and tenon. Yeah. I'd like to talk to him about building treads and risers. The treads are what you stand on. The risers, the upper part, and stringers to part the.

[Beth Riesgraf]

My dad was in construction.

[Adam Carolla]

He was, huh?

[Beth Riesgraf]

He still is.

[Adam Carolla]

From Minnesota. Normal dude.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Grew up in the construction field. He. Yeah. But no, he can. Like, he's a drummer. He can play piano. He, you know, won an Oscar at 19. The guy can kind of do everything. So I think he just does what he wants to do, you know? And when he loses interest in something, he's got so many other interests. I think he can choose what he wants to do.

[Adam Carolla]

I know you're gonna answer this diplomatically. Is he reclusive or. I mean, no. Or is he just. Or batshit crazy, or just a guy who wants to do what he wants to do and is not that interested in the Hollywood part of Hollywood?

[Beth Riesgraf]

I mean, I don't know. I didn't know him before the show. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I never met him before, so, I don't know. I mean, maybe he just wanted a break from all the craziness. Like, you mean. Cause he's. You didn't see him.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I just mean, like, there's guys that don't do a lot of stuff because they're sort of reclusive. Like, I think Jodie Foster's private. Like, I think she's very private about her life. And then there are other guys that aren't private, like Jay Leno, but he doesn't pop up on a lot of stuff. It's just because he likes cars and hanging out with those guys. So it's not that he. It's not that he's shy. It's that he doesn't really enjoy it. Right. Versus I'm reclusive. You know what I'm saying?

[Beth Riesgraf]

He's definitely not reclusive. No, he's a pretty social guy. I mean, when we're in Portland, we all go out together and stuff like that. So I don't know. He lives in New York part of the year.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You guys shoot out of Portland? Weird place, right?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Keep Portland weird. Have you seen those bumper stickers?

[Adam Carolla]

No. There is a Keep Portland Weird.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Keep Portland Weird. And I was like, what's so fucking weird about it? It doesn't look weird to me at all. And then you're there for a while, and it's still not weird to me. But their whole thing is we're a green city. You know, they have their food, they have everything that they have there, and it's amazing, and I love shooting there, but I don't like the weird. Portlandia maybe captures it well.

[Adam Carolla]

They're a green city, except for they dump 200,000 gallons of drinkable water into the sewer every single day. Because they have the stupid bubbler drinking fountains that are all throughout the city, and they're a drinking fountain that never shuts off, so it just bubbles. Like the turn of the century ones would do. We've talked about it on this show before, like in Rome. Yeah, they just keep bubbling, and they're on every corner, and it's. If you were from any part of Africa, you'd look at that and be fucking disgusted. It's like somebody just turning. It's like someone going, hey, everyone in Portland, turn on your hose and just leave it running down in the street. And it'll just run down the storm drain into the gutter. How green a fucking city if you're gonna waste 200 billion gallons of water a year, how green can you be? And somebody died who was rich and left a bunch of money and said, I want these bubblers going 24 7, and they pay for it. Really? Yeah. But what if I left a bunch of money and said, you know what? I want black people in the back of the bus. Here's your money, and here's your bus money. Like, wouldn't somebody go.

[Allison Rosen]

That would be less popular than the water fountain.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't you think so? You think so?

[Beth Riesgraf]

And I wonder how often people.

[Allison Rosen]

People peeing them.

[Adam Carolla]

I got to talk to my attorney, and only when I'm in town. And let me say this, but shouldn't somebody go, I know that old super rich, kooky broad wanted this, but she couldn't have envisioned a place where water was at a premium and we were going green. She didn't know anything about solar panels or, you know, she was just really thirsty. She was just super. She had cottonmouth all the time. So I'm just saying.

[Beth Riesgraf]

I don't know. I mean, I got yelled at by a homeless guy when I was walking into home.

[Allison Rosen]

Homeless foods.

[Adam Carolla]

I like that. Whole Foods. Yeah.

[Beth Riesgraf]

And I saw one of the Portlandy episodes where the. The guy was, like, heckling him because he didn't have his reusable shopping bag. I was like, oh, they're kind of like, you know, blowing it out of proportion. And I walk up to Whole Foods, and I bought this vintage fur halo for, like, $6. God knows when. It's like a white. You know, probably not even real fur. So don't get mad, everybody. But whatever. So I'm walking up to the place, and he jumps off his bench, and he's like, no fur is ever okay. And I was like, I don't think it's real.

[Adam Carolla]

How about a twofer? Yeah, I Feel like that's okay.

[Beth Riesgraf]

I'm like, I'm from the Midwest. It's like people were, you know, hunting all the time or whatever. It's whatever. So I get that. And then I went inside and I buy strawberries, and the girl's like, oh, did you see that we have local strawberries? And I was like, oh, oh, awesome. Cool. And she's like, well, would you like to go buy the local strawberries?

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, go back and go get them. Yeah.

[Beth Riesgraf]

And I was like, no, it's okay, because I already bought these and I'm kind of in a hurry. She's like, but they're local.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Beth Riesgraf]

I was like, I totally understand that. And I want to support the local farmers, but I already paid for these in my bag. And she's like, well, do you have a reusable bag?

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Bald Brian]

Why carry them?

[Allison Rosen]

That's what I was wondering.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Well, I do have them and that you, you know, they're.

[Bald Brian]

No, no, the strawberries. Why carry a product that you're gonna actively suggest someone buy something different?

[Adam Carolla]

Because you couldn't confront people if you just had locally grown ones. And I think part of the deal is the passing of the judgment and the confrontation. I think that's the part they like.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't think that's why people get jobs at Whole Foods.

[Adam Carolla]

Pretty sure. I'm pretty sure.

[Beth Riesgraf]

It was like the sales thing of three times. And finally I was like, no.

[Adam Carolla]

There used to be a thing. I. I think I look at everything sort of psychologically. There used to be a thing of, I'm going to feel better about myself because I'm going to have a diploma on the wall, and I'm going to drive an expensive car, and thus I'll wear a fur coat. I will feel better about myself. Now this has shifted into, I will feel better about myself because I'm going to judge you. See if you can feel a little bit shitty about yourself. Buying your Argentinian strawberries, carrying it with

[Allison Rosen]

your baby seal hat. Halo hat.

[Adam Carolla]

Your baby seal halo hat. And carrying it in that sack that could have made.

[Allison Rosen]

Made out of baby intestines.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Yes. See, now I'm still the same. I don't have to go to law school or buy a Cadillac in order to feel better about myself. I'll just make you feel like shit. Or I'll sort of judge you. And now you'll feel shitty, and then I'll feel good, just sort of in a weird kind of retarded mathematical way. And there's a whole Lot of that going, going down. And I've had impacted asphalt. I was in Portland and had the. I've always said, like, they don't have full homeless people there. That weird half homeless people there. I was wearing a Izod shirt with like a popped collar and he was clean shaven. And he's like, hey man, you got any money? Because I can. And he goes, hey, sman, love the mancho. And I'm like, well, you got basic cable at least at some point in your life. And now, by the way, he didn't need my money anymore. He was like, all of a sudden he wasn't hungry anymore. And he was like, he's in his 40s. He wasn't bad looking. And it was like, you just what? Maybe like, I guess if I lived in Portland and I had to walk somewhere, like if I was going on a lunch run, I just pass people and ask them for money. Because there's no distinction really between homeless and weird people over there and just people who want money. And by the time I got to the subway, maybe I'd have enough for lunch, for the whole office. It'd just be my fun little game. Maybe I can get four or five bucks. Who knows? You might run into a sucker just gives you 20 bucks.

[Bald Brian]

Doug, I saw your assistant begging for change.

[Adam Carolla]

Nah, he wasn't begging. He was just walking the subway. He's just asking. You can say no. You know what I mean?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Like, look, maybe that is why they have the weird bumper.

[Allison Rosen]

No harm in asking.

[Adam Carolla]

Just because I'm well to do doesn't mean I couldn't use a little walking around money. Little wham. You know what?

[Bald Brian]

How do you think I stay rich?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and by the way, maybe I pass it along. You know, I get hit up by a homeless dude the next block, maybe I'll give him your buck.

[Allison Rosen]

You're paying it forward?

[Adam Carolla]

We don't know. I wet my beak, of course. And then I take my fig and then I pay it forward. Yeah, like, why can't gainfully employed dudes who live in big houses ask for cash? Why not? Lord knows, I just give it away. Why not?

[Beth Riesgraf]

I've asked somebody for a quarter before and they've said no.

[Allison Rosen]

What was your pitch?

[Beth Riesgraf]

I think I don't. I just remember being like, oh, I'll go down on you if you give me 25 cents. Like, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Tim was like, no, we're filming. Let's be professional.

[Bald Brian]

This is a table read by love

[Adam Carolla]

King Turk 99 or whatever that fucking movie was. Falcon and the Snowman. All right, sorry, go ahead. No, who's the falcon and the snowman? Quarter. What happened with the quarter?

[Beth Riesgraf]

I don't really remember. I just remember I was like 25 cent shy for something and I needed it. And somebody was like, no, I think it's for like a parking meter, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

That's weird.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah. And I was like, really? You. You won't give me a quarter? I know you have it. I've been a dime.

[Adam Carolla]

I've had that thing where someone's been short in the line in front of me and I've just went. Just, you know, put it on my thing. Cuz you're A. It feels good. B. They're always way more appreciative than your 37 cents would ever get you. You're like, oh, thank you, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. It's like 37 cents. I think we're fine. And then secondly, it moves things along. We've eaten up 37 cents of my life. Figure this out.

[Allison Rosen]

But I bet if the person in front of you didn't say anything and you were just like, want me to buy that for you? That would creep them out probably.

[Beth Riesgraf]

I said that to a mom and her two kids, though, at like an ice. Have you been to that Dee Dee Reese place in Santa Monica where you could get the ice cream sandwich for a dollar or two bucks or something? It's amazing. Fresh baked cookies by UCLA West. You can go in and it's like a buck or something for ice cream sandwiches, cookies, whatever. And so she gets up there and the kids are excited. They don't have. She's like, oh, it's cash only. Or whatever. Didn't have it. I was like, I'll get it for you guys. And she was like, oh, no, no. And the kids were like, mom.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Beth Riesgraf]

You know, and she totally took it and it was fine and whatever. But. Yeah, who doesn't do that? Do you know what I mean? That's why I don't understand.

[Adam Carolla]

I do. And I think we should ask homeless people for money to make them into human beings. You know what I mean? It humanizes them. Now, I mean, it's. We're only asking. It's like if. It's like if you took a kid and the kid was like a special needs kid and all the other kids were like kicking the soccer ball and you went like, ooh, not you, not you, not you. You sit down over there. You're not capable of this. It's degrading. So I think we should incorporate the Homeless into society by asking them for money. I'm gonna go to Portland and start shaking down some of those homeless folks.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Got a buck shake down.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And again, they never know in Portland. You'll never know who's homeless and who's hip.

[Beth Riesgraf]

No, I'm leaning up against a corner one time. I mean, listen, I'm making it sound horrible. It's actually a great fucking place. I like it a lot. But I was leaning up against the corner waiting for a dinner or whatever, and this guy comes and he flies up next to me. He's like, you looking to score?

[Allison Rosen]

And I looked at him, I was

[Beth Riesgraf]

like, are you fucking serious? And he's like, yeah. And he got so nervous, he started to shake, but he was in like a button up a blazer. Normal looking guy, right? And I was like, are you trying to sell me drugs? And he was like, yeah. I was like, man, I live right around the fucking corner. I have a son. Like, are you seriously selling drugs two blocks away from where I live? He got so scared. He's like, I'm so sorry. And he ran off. But he apologized. Well, yeah, the drug dealer apologized. He wouldn't have gotten that in la. So they're really nice, even though they're.

[Adam Carolla]

It's weird. And I would love figure out the bubbler story because I know it was a woman and I don't know if it was Schnitzer or whatever theater I played over there, but they did some endowment thing where she just like left. But again, you can be rich and kooky and say, I want my cat to be mayor for 100 years. And doesn't mean we have to listen to you just because you're rich.

[Allison Rosen]

Maybe your cat's wise, though. That's not rule.

[Adam Carolla]

They'd do better than Viragosa.

[Beth Riesgraf]

I've seen those on the river. They have one under like a bridge. But I haven't seen that many of those.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they're all throughout the city and. And they drive me nuts because I notice them every single time. And it's one of those things. It's one of those things where it's like you'll say to somebody, hey, you've seen that World's Most Interesting man billboard thing? And they'll go, no, I've not seen that one. And you go, yeah, you know the billboard with the guy with the beard? And they go, no, I haven't. And within 10 seconds you go, there it is, there it is. And then that same person will start seeing them in the same town. They never Saw them in. Even though they drive the same road.

[Allison Rosen]

You have a tampon commercial that you don't like.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, I saw it at your house.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Oh, now you see it everywhere you go.

[Allison Rosen]

It is everywhere.

[Adam Carolla]

In 1912, Benson. Is it? Simon Benson gave the city of Portland $10,000 for the installation of 20 bronze drinking fountains.

[Allison Rosen]

That's it. I feel like they should be more.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll give 11 grand if they'll shut it off tomorrow.

[Bald Brian]

1912.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's big bucks. But do they have to keep it going? Does it keep wasting. I thought they were. I mean, they're shaking you down for strawberries.

[Allison Rosen]

And did Simon Benson say. And they can never be shut off because it sounds like you just said drinking fountains. And then they went with it.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a bad groundlings move here. But there's 41 of these things evidently spread out all over the city somewhere. But maybe they're all just on top of each other.

[Allison Rosen]

One is in Sapporo, Japan, one of Portland's sister cities, according to Wikipedia, which might not be correct.

[Adam Carolla]

Should have bombed that one, too.

[Bald Brian]

Only Sapporo comes out of it drunk.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's the only one. There's a line I was gonna say,

[Beth Riesgraf]

then you wouldn't want it. Shut up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. Shall we do a little news? I will tell you guys that me and the aforementioned Dennis Prager on it together in Houston and Phoenix. Good listening, everybody. That is up. It's about four hours long and it's number one on the spoken word on iTunes and number five billboard on the comedy charts. And 21 and the Heat Seekers, whatever the fuck that is. John lovitz Theater, Saturday, August 11th. Jon Lovitz Theater and Carmel, California Sunset Theater next Friday. Going to be doing some racing at Laguna Seca and then doing a little comedy that night. So come on out and hang out. Tampa, Orlando. Coming up. Go to amcroll.com you see where all the dates are. Me and Prager are going to be out playing some shows. And let's do some news with Allison Rosen.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Go down on me if you give me 25 cents.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

The news with Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

You should read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison, Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign.

[Allison Rosen]

Sign it off with Zippy.

[Adam Carolla]

Cut it.

[Allison Rosen]

Allison, Allison, you should play the 25 cents thing and then play the no.

[Adam Carolla]

No. Yeah, all right. I can do the no if you like.

[Beth Riesgraf]

I'll go down on you if you give me 25 cents?

[Adam Carolla]

No, no. There you go.

[Allison Rosen]

See? It's great. All right, so we know more about the Wisconsin shooter. His name was Wade M. Page. He was 40. He had all sorts of ties to white supremacist groups. He played in a white supremacist band which was called End Apathy. He was also a U.S. army vet who served from 1992 to 1994. He evidently had a 911 tattoo.

[Bald Brian]

Did you date him?

[Allison Rosen]

No, but I dated someone like him accidentally. All this. I know all this stuff so intimately, and I'm frightened of all of it.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't get the band part. It's always weird to me, you know, music, whether it's like the thug bands or whether it's the hard edge bands. Like, we got tons of attitude, but we're playing drums, bass, guitars.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Which is more important to you? Hate or rhythm?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's weird. Like, we're super angry whatever band, but it comes out via music. And I understand everybody. You know, like you're watching an action movie, you play the music that would go along with the actions, but just. It's weird when you're trying to scare people with your music. Like, you're gonna rock.

[Allison Rosen]

There's a lot of festivals. Yeah, I know there's festival. I mean, it's sort of a fundamental part of the whole scene.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. And then they have those weird. I don't know if it's. I mean, they don't. They're like weird German whatever. And they take place out here. And then everyone looks. You know, everyone's wearing the Doc Martens and they got the shit shaved heads. And.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, they're planning for the racial holy war, but in the meantime, they're going to rock.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, I know.

[Allison Rosen]

And then that's kind of how it goes.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you do, like, if you're. What do you do if you're like a local vendor? Like. Cause you're basically like, look racist or not. Those guys have debit cards.

[Bald Brian]

I gotta move these strawberries.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Don't call them churros.

[Allison Rosen]

You got a large order for us.

[Adam Carolla]

Call them freedom sticks.

[Allison Rosen]

20 swastikakes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Anyone know how to make that?

[Show Producer/Announcer]

Ooh.

[Adam Carolla]

Take the churro and bend it up. This won't take long. Yeah. Then we can all secretly laugh as they walk away. Oh, you ate a churro. Yeah, I figured there's a lot of groal Shin Heineken being sold over there. And what do you do if you're like the local whatever. And then do you do this. Do you do spin art and stuff like that? You have rides for the kids.

[Bald Brian]

Colossus is kind of spin art.

[Adam Carolla]

It is if you think about it. Do you bring the zipper for the kids to ride on?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Airbrush tattoo?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Candle dipping.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, you gotta have food. I bet you get some decent food at one of those white supremacist rock band rock.

[Bald Brian]

If you're in said Aryan rock band, are you limited to only writing Aryan songs or can you mix in like a love song here and there? Like.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Bald Brian]

You know, most of the songs have

[Adam Carolla]

to be, you know, I'll put the white beat down.

[Allison Rosen]

It's your love of the fatherland. And that is a real song.

[Bald Brian]

But you can't mix in. You can't mix in like a.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, it's sort of like Christian rock bands. It's like, is that person singing about the love of a person or the love of Jesus? So I think it's probably the same thing for the hate band.

[Adam Carolla]

It's always creepy to me. It's like back in the day when I used to rent the porn. You'd go into the porn section and you'd be walking down the wall. And the thing about the porn section is head not on a swivel because you don't want to be. Hey, from.

[Brian Bishop]

Hi.

[Adam Carolla]

We play popcorn football together, coach. Yeah.

[Jacob Dylan]

How you doing?

[Adam Carolla]

Lost a daughter to cancer. Ah, so sad. Anyway, I notice you're in the. You're in the white chocolate section over there. What do you like down there? Black. Black on white stuff. That's good. Yeah, you don't want to see anybody know. So you walk down the aisle and at some point you do a thing where you're like. You wander a little too far and you're like, God, man, those two dudes are really giving it to

[Bald Brian]

each other.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the gay section.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah, I see my little ponies.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. They don't put the cone up. They should put the fucking cone up. That goes. You are now wandering into the rainbow cone. Yeah, rainbow cone, right. And you do that. I always. I always. I'm same way with the Christian rock because you're first. Like, get this dude. This dude's really into this chick. He really digs the chicks. That must be some fine pussy.

[Allison Rosen]

He's given his life to her.

[Adam Carolla]

He wants to testify. I praise you. Oh, my God. He's into his fucking old lady, man. He fucking loves that bitch. And then certain. And then you're like, he's what? Instead you have the little spidey sense Tingling a fourth time. You hear praise, and then at some point, you hear the. Or something, and you're like, what? What's going on? And then you run and you wandered into the gay porn section of Rock. That's what happened. And same with this Aryan bro.

[Allison Rosen]

She died for our sins.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

What happened with her?

[Adam Carolla]

Listen.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, well, that's what happened with the guy. So, Beth, to fill you in, I accidentally went out with this White Pride guy twice. And I didn't realize that's what he was. I. I was drunk, first of all. And I saw the tattoos the first night, but I didn't know what they meant. And then everything went crossing crazy the next time. What? So anyway.

[Bald Brian]

Lightning bolts.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I didn't know I was a big Chargers fan.

[Bald Brian]

The two lightning bolts is in there.

[Allison Rosen]

No, no. Believe me, I know now.

[Adam Carolla]

But no, I didn't know what I

[Allison Rosen]

was looking at then. But now I spent way too much time afterwards just glued to my computer, looking up everything. But anyway, so I was in his little bunker under the Confederate flag, thinking, what the hell is going on?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Like, he really likes Dukes of Hat. That's Weir.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Almost as much he loves the Dukes of Hazzard.

[Allison Rosen]

That doesn't look like any sort of Grateful Dead skull. And he said to put on some music. So I'm scrolling through his MP3s on his computer, and it's like, Angry Aryans, Blue Eyed Devil, and Dido.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? The Dido range?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. So, anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, also. But if you listen to Gwar, would you really know what the lyrics were like?

[Bald Brian]

I don't think they know.

[Adam Carolla]

If you listen to, like, System of a Down or something like that, you don't know what the lyrics. Nobody knows what the lyrics are, do they?

[Allison Rosen]

I don't think so.

[Adam Carolla]

They could never do, like a hey Jude, Sing Along, Everybody. Now, you could never do. You can never do that move where you hold the mic out, you know?

[Allison Rosen]

And then when they find out what the lyrics are, it'd be like. I feel so embarrassed. I thought it was.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's. Oh, my God. Yeah. Come on, dude.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, so moving on. Curiosity, the Mars rover. Curiosity is the name of the Mars rover which landed on Mars at 10:30 last night. Yeah, my friend helped build that. Oh, really?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah. Robert Hogg.

[Allison Rosen]

That's neat. What did Robert say about this?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Well, I've been traveling, so I haven't been keeping up. But on the Facebook, he has a link that you can follow the progress on. It's pretty fascinating. But he's been working, working on it for like eight years, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Great story.

[Allison Rosen]

So the rover is searching for microbes to see if there was or could be life, but very tiny life.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me tell you what we should do. I feel like in this country, we do a lot of like, we're going to go over to this nation, take care of this ruthless despot who's doing the ethnic cleansing. And then Canada's like, yeah, we'll chip in three dudes and like $9. And you're like, great. We get to fucking take this guy doing the ethnic cleansing. And it cost us $200 billion. And you guys fucking same result. You get rid of ethnic cleansing guy too. Except for we're fucking footing the bill. All this space exploration shit where everyone's like, Canada and Mexico and everyone else like, yeah, go up there and find out if there's any life form up there.

[Allison Rosen]

Let us know what you find.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, let us know what you find. We ought to come back with, yeah, we got some stuff. Why? Oh, you want to know that's interesting. Because this is $70 billion. It costs us to find out this fucking information. So, you know, about a quarter and maybe we'll share a little information. Why are we fucking spending all the money to find out what's going on in these places and then we just hand it over, you know, hey, just go ahead and print it up in USA Today and give it right to all the.

[Allison Rosen]

At the very least, curiosity, these Twitter feeds should be protected.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and aren't these lazy countries just getting lazier now? Like, you want to send. Ah, let those fucking Americans do it.

[Beth Riesgraf]

They're crazy.

[Allison Rosen]

Are we getting lazier? We didn't even send people there. Just this rover. Yeah, I'm actually joking.

[Adam Carolla]

It's all unmanned Shit now.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's all unmanned or woman.

[Adam Carolla]

Come on, let's be fair. Just saying before we share this information with the rest of the world, we. We should take whatever it cost us to collect this information, break it up in terms of like, nation size and gross domestic product or whatever and go, oh, Germany, you want to know what's up there? It's going to be $750 million. And then we'll go nothing, really? And then we'll laugh hysterically right after we hammer the check.

[Allison Rosen]

And it took nine months for Curiosity to reach Mars. Were you guys aware that this was happening for the past nine months? No, Brian was. He had an advent calendar.

[Bald Brian]

Yeah, I just knew that it took nine months. I mean, I knew about in the last few days, but it was supposed to be a very Long trip.

[Allison Rosen]

And the seven minutes, the last seven minutes of terror for Curiosity as it was entering the Mars atmosphere. Or Martian. And I think the word Martian, they need to change it because when I hear Martian, I just think of cartoon characters.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

We're harrowing for the rover because there's a 14 minute delay in between the information that the rover sends and people on Earth receiving it. So by the time we found out that it had entered the Martian atmosphere, it was already either on the planet or not.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. Could have burned up or been destroyed in one way or the other.

[Allison Rosen]

That's right. Or been shot by some kind of intergalactic fighting missile.

[Adam Carolla]

The more you know, I know we keep expanding the universe and it just keeps getting further out, but I don't know, finding out there's nothing on Mars. Mars kind of a bummer.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, we knew that 39 years ago, evidently.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. But it's still a bummer that there's no Martians and there's nothing any good in outer space and it's all. And people keep going, oh, no, no, no, no, no. This is just the very beginning. And there's galaxies that are kajillion miles away and. I know, but yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

The existence of other life and galaxies that we will never have contact with. Not as exciting as ET No.

[Adam Carolla]

And like my dad was born with the hopes and the possible understanding that the moon was crafted of cheese. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

Was there a man in it?

[Adam Carolla]

And he was made of cheese as well. And as an Italian, that's a huge thing when something is made of cheese. That's an unending supply of cheese. I don't know where you're gonna get a grater that day.

[Allison Rosen]

Fuck you, lactose intolerant people. But for the Italians, it's great.

[Adam Carolla]

Now then it just turned out. Yeah, it's kind of like, you know, the desert that we have this desert environment that's basically endless on this planet. We have it in many different continents. Yeah. Eh, it's like that.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Pretty much that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. As a matter of fact, when you film a movie about Mars or the moon or whatever, go out to Mojave. Yeah. Go see where the bun boy is. Just turn right, go off the highway about 100 yards. You can go ahead and film. We'll do a weird sepia tone thing. But just go and film me. Be like on mobile Mars. Boring.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. I would like to see some kind of rainforest on another planet.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree.

[Allison Rosen]

And I keep looking for pictures of Mars and all I'm find I see Something and I'm like, ooh, that looks cool. And then I find out it's an illustration.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

So, yeah, let us know when you have something cool to report.

[Adam Carolla]

You know the thing that's cooler than outer space is inner space. The sea. Yeah. Depth of the sea. You know, that's stuff we haven't really explored. And turns out there's a lot of cool shit down there. You know, they got stuff that you've never seen before, especially when you get really low.

[Allison Rosen]

Then they look like little aliens.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Those things that have like one eye and look like a rock with crazy

[Adam Carolla]

ass shit down there and that's cool. Versus up there you got a bunch of rocks and dust and someone gets really excited when they find something that may have had water on it at some point. Shit. No. We got a crab over here that's clear. Yeah, you can see what it's thinking. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Translucent crab.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's also weird where it's like this thing lives in an environment that would. If you took a VW and put it into this environment, it would crush it to the size of a beer can. And yet there's that crab walking around under 200 million pounds of pressure. It's cool. It's cool stuff down there. Let's get fucking Cameron looking around. Forget about going up. I'm going down, baby.

[Allison Rosen]

But if you could get in a spaceship or a ship and go up or down, which way would you go?

[Adam Carolla]

I would. Well, down I think is cheaper. I think you could get one of those bells and go down, you know, and up is like several million dollars. And you never really get to land on a planet or anything. You just get a little weightless experience. Which you could go get in Vegas, by the way, on one of those big fan things.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Or Universal Studios.

[Adam Carolla]

Or Universal Studios. Yeah. And then also every time I have this theory, it's like it's my first time, like as a guy. The first time you felt a boob like Lynch. Remember when you were 29 and you felt your first boob and your mom said your hand was cold? No, but like you go through your. You go through like 11 and 12, 13, you know, going, God, what's a booby feel like? What's a booby feel like? I can feel a booby. You know, and then at some point you get your hand on a pair of boobies in your. And there's part of you that just goes. It's about, you know, it's what I thought. I'm not. No problem with boobies. But it's what you thought. You're happy to have felt them.

[Bald Brian]

Glorious.

[Adam Carolla]

But you're never confused. It's never like, oh my God, this is.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Growing up as a girl, did you have that? So different than.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. I have a potentially dumb question, but is it really that different than other skin?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm just saying we've made it different.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So that, I mean, if we had

[Allison Rosen]

fetishized elbows, it'd be like, oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I know, but we do the same thing with diamonds. You know, like, how much utility do they have when they're on someone's finger? I mean, they're good for cutting, they're good for cutting cement and steel and stuff like that. But it's not on someone's finger.

[Allison Rosen]

It doesn't make the appeal to you.

[Beth Riesgraf]

We've made it as a 13 year old boy, maybe.

[Adam Carolla]

No, that's the point. Well, the point is you have a lot of question marks. You're like, wow, I want to know what a booby feels like. And then you feel a booby and you go, I felt like. Yeah, felt like what I thought it would feel like.

[Allison Rosen]

And then. Are you just dying to know what a vagina feels like?

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And how does that stack up?

[Adam Carolla]

Everything feels. Everything is exactly how you thought it would be. That's my point. And I think I don't need to go to outer space. I kind of know what it feels like. You know, look at it this way. You've all flown on an airplane, right? But there was a point where you hadn't flown on an airplane. And flying on an airplane means you're gonna go 550 miles an hour and you're going to go 30,000ft in the sky. And that's pretty weird if you're someone who's never left the ground. But then the first time you got on an airplane, you're like, all right, this is what it felt like. And there wasn't really much of a surprise. You got pulled back when you started off, and then when you got up and leveled out, it kind of felt like that's where you were. And then landing kind of felt like it. Landing. And it's basically whether it's a meatball sandwich flying or boobing before you've ever experienced it. You usually go when you're done. Yeah, that was about right. That's about right. There's a few exceptions like Yosemite and Trump's hair and things like that, but there's those exceptions. But mostly everything is Kind of like. Yeah, that's what I thought it would be. That's why I don't need to go

[Allison Rosen]

to space, and that's why I don't need to do acid, because I've had weird dreams.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Allison Rosen]

Is that not the same? I feel like it kind of would be.

[Adam Carolla]

You could, you. You could save yourself a lot of money on the whole space travel thing and just like eat some mushrooms and watch Nova and you'd be fine. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Oreo, our least favorite cookie, has created a curiosity themed Oreo. This is again just on its Facebook page, like their gay cookie, the rainbow Oreo. But I don't know. I don't know what they're doing.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Isn't red food coloring really bad for you anyways?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they used to have red dye, like number seven or something, which was supposed to cause whatever. But here's the thing. Snickers bar, they out fucking around all day, coming up with different colors and different ways to eat it. No, you want to know why they're Snickers bar? They're good.

[Bald Brian]

They're just hitting doubles off the wall all day long.

[Adam Carolla]

They fucking. All they do is fucking drive in room runs and gets stand up doubles. That's all they do. No one sits around and no one who makes a Snickers bar goes, what can we do? Can we get a gay flag woven into this bad boy? Or what can we do? What can we do here? You want to know why, Snickers bar? They don't need to fuck around. Oreos got to keep. They got to keep it moving. Keep it moving.

[Allison Rosen]

Very desperate Oreo.

[Bald Brian]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So we don't understand what a fucking just middle of the road to subpar cookie you actually are. Yep. No other cookies need to change. Why does Oreo. How come all you fucking haters, that is of me and Allison and all you lovers of Oreo who are always talking shit to me via Twitter? Why is it you name me, motherfuckers, the other cookie? You name me the other cookie that's fucking around with not only what's inside of it and what it's made of, but how to consume it? Because no other cookie does that. Other cookies are like, I'm a Nilla wafer. Deal with it, bitch. But I'm not gonna tell you how to eat. Yeah, and those Milano cookies are delightful, but they don't. No one goes, oh, you tear it apart. And then you get a day labor to pick the chocolate out.

[Beth Riesgraf]

You don't see those girl scouts handing out Instructions?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No, no. They just give out a hell of a product and they move the fuck on. But Oreo. Oh, you got another trick up your sleeve. Interesting. Well, I smell desperation of a subpar cookie.

[Allison Rosen]

Right. Oreo's like that. That girl who's dating a guy who likes camping, and now all of a sudden she says she likes camping when you know she doesn't like camping.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, she's that girl. Might. What do you mean? I've always carried this boda bag and then this collapsible cup.

[Allison Rosen]

By the way, I love the outdoors.

[Adam Carolla]

What's up with the collapsible cup? Really?

[Allison Rosen]

Is your backpack that's drinking it.

[Beth Riesgraf]

It gets everywhere.

[Adam Carolla]

I need a cup that could not hold margarine, like. But forget stream water that's pouring right out of the bottle. By the way, I got my hands for that shit. If I want something that doesn't hold water, I can cup my hands. Number one and number three. How pressed for space are you in your backpack? Yeah, you can't get in your cup. We drove all the way in and then we popped the hatch on the Cherokee and then we just had a guy slip the shit over to the campfire. What do you need? The collapsible cup.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Thank God we got the collapsible cup, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to

[Allison Rosen]

fit anything in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God, that thing. I'd like. There should be a class action lawsuit against the guy who invented the collapsible cup.

[Allison Rosen]

Cup. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what? The thing about that guy, he thinks he's hot shit on a silver platter, but he's really cold. Diarrhea and a Dixie cup.

[Allison Rosen]

You tell him.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Speaking of snack foods with agendas.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm, mm.

[Allison Rosen]

A man. This is lighting up the Internet right now. A man protested Cheerios at the General Mills headquarters in Golden Valley, Minnesota, because he is upset with what he sees at has General Mills pro gay agenda. Oh, yeah, you know, I mean, we all know about that. So we. We have some video. It's entertaining.

[Brian Bishop]

One out of every eight boxes of cereal in this country is Cheerios.

[Adam Carolla]

This is really the treat now of the homosexuals.

[Brian Bishop]

And this is our protest of General Mills right there advocating same sex marriages.

[Adam Carolla]

So we are going to torch some

[Jacob Dylan]

cereal

[Allison Rosen]

so it doesn't go as well as planned here.

[Adam Carolla]

I found that lighting things rarely goes as planned.

[Allison Rosen]

Yet still you tried to do it in this studio.

[Adam Carolla]

I did. Well, I didn't try.

[Allison Rosen]

You did.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I did it.

[Allison Rosen]

I know I didn't try. There was no trouble. No, there's just large open flames. Yeah, that's the thing.

[Bald Brian]

That guy's clearly gay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Oh, he's gay.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

He does protest too much.

[Allison Rosen]

That's what Most of the YouTube comments say. So look, now he's lit the grass on fire and now they're just getting the hell out of there because there's too much fire happening.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they were in on it.

[Bald Brian]

The video people were in on it. They were like amused bystanders.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bald Brian]

Well, well.

[Adam Carolla]

So the guy in the pink shirt and the frosted tips, he's looking like Brian. You know about the country music. Who are those two dudes? Dunn and Brooks and Dunn. Brooks and Dunn kicks.

[Bald Brian]

Brooks and Ronnie Dunn. I mean, I have no idea.

[Adam Carolla]

Are these one of those guys?

[Bald Brian]

Brooks and Untrad.

[Adam Carolla]

First off, when you're trying to cultivate the cowboy look, that's a very fine line. Pull.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

Pull up a picture.

[Adam Carolla]

Very fine. You gotta be careful when you're trying to cultivate because you start getting the boots and the chaps and all that

[Allison Rosen]

shit and you're right into Brokeback Mountain.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Next thing you know, you got the weird vagina mouth beard. Oh, that's long.

[Bald Brian]

That's long hair done, by the way. That's long hair to do.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Then there's the frosted tips done with the vagina mouth beard and the sequins jeans and the pant height, super tight jeans and stuff. And it's like, yes, you're flirting with gay there. I know.

[Allison Rosen]

It's more than flirting with. Making out with.

[Adam Carolla]

You've gone.

[Allison Rosen]

He fisted gay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You think you're going cowboy.

[Beth Riesgraf]

What's his tattoo of?

[Adam Carolla]

That's just a cock and it's flaccid cock. He didn't want to be gay into a hard cock.

[Bald Brian]

Don't ask him to flex.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't know what's going on with. Is that Dunn on the left?

[Bald Brian]

I think it's Brooks.

[Allison Rosen]

Brooks is on the left because he

[Adam Carolla]

has a. Dunn is on the right. And by the way, Dunn. Speaking of Dunn, it looked like someone finished in his hair. That's the color of it. When you're Brooks and you're like, hey, man, where's Dunn? Oh, he's at the salon getting his tips frosted. Don't you ever have a conversation with him? Like, listen, haven't you seen all the pickup trucks out in the parking lot of the venue? Like, this is. You know what I mean? Like we're playing, you know, Toby Keith. Yeah. You know how he just basically just fucking gets up there with a beard and like some jeans and talks about putting a boot in your ass. This is kind of what we're going for. You gotta stop frosting your tips and get rid of the vagina hair around your mouth. Like what? What are you doing? And by the way, could you put on £5, for Christ's sake? Are you vegan or something? What do you got? You have full blown aids. What's going on? There's rumors going around. What? Can he put on ten pounds and grow a regular beard and put on a fucking cowboy hat? What's he doing? What's going on?

[Allison Rosen]

How would the cowboy hat fit over his hair? Which is clearly.

[Adam Carolla]

This is. I'm just, I'm from the cheap seats because I don't know anything about these guys, but he fucking looks like a gay muppet and with aids. Other than that, nothing says country like Brooks or like Dunn over here. But what's up?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, Brian's a fan.

[Adam Carolla]

What's up, Brian?

[Allison Rosen]

In the Brooks and Dunn community, how are they regarded? Brian?

[Bald Brian]

They're, they're, they're legends, but I don't think they're well respected.

[Adam Carolla]

Is he wearing a wedding ring?

[Show Producer/Announcer]

Artistically?

[Brian Bishop]

Whoa.

[Adam Carolla]

What's he singing about? Like going to the salon.

[Bald Brian]

They're kind of disposable. Just time has not been kind to Brooks and Dunn.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but why doesn't Brooks tell Dunn? You see this Magnum PI mustache I got here? Yeah, yeah. See the side rooms? Uh huh. You see the black Stetson hat? Yeah. That's because we're a country act and we're trying to fucking make money for dumb people. We're trying to get dumb people to come in and see us. You dressing like a fucking drag queen who is heavily influenced by Bowie does not fucking help the gate, you understand? I don't care how good you swing an axe. Now get your shit together.

[Bald Brian]

Did break up. Maybe that's what wedge between them?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I couldn't take all the peroxide overwhelming on stage. I've always wanted to know what's up with those two.

[Bald Brian]

I think that's what's up.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, but he's straight.

[Bald Brian]

I cannot say that one way or the other.

[Adam Carolla]

Straight is a Cheerio. So what's going on? General Mills. By the way, there has to be a general named Mills somewhere in the army, right? That'd be General Mills somewhere, right? General Mills. They make cereal.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, this guy who's not gay but seems gay seems to think that General Mills is in favor of same sex marriage. They're like the Anti Chick Fil A. I just think that Chick Fil A got so much press over this whole thing that now all the foods are trying to get involved. Although this guy doesn't work for General Mills or anything, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know. It's nuts. I don't understand that relationship between snack foods and sexuality, and I wish it would stop.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, me too.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't like the politicizing of carbohydrates.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, obviously, the guys who make the fudge bars clearly gay, but other than that, there are no. There are no gay foods.

[Allison Rosen]

Klondike, is that you're talking about?

[Adam Carolla]

Ooh, yeah. Got the word dyke in there. And then there's. There's Honey Clusters of Nutty. Honey Clusters of Oats or something. That's pretty gay cereal.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, my son eats. He eats Cheerios. Fruity Pebbles is up there. Too bad.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Richard P. Mills.

[Adam Carolla]

General Mills. General Mills.

[Allison Rosen]

General Dick Mills.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Mm. Yeah. There you go. Have some fun with him.

[Allison Rosen]

Wait, Beth, you have a son named Pilot?

[Beth Riesgraf]

I'm glad. Did you just think of Dick as a bad name?

[Allison Rosen]

No, his name is Richard.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah, I know. But then I thought, who names their kid Dick?

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Well, for naming myself. And then it's like, oh, no, you didn't.

[Allison Rosen]

You didn't say that out loud, though. Yeah, I just read your thoughts.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

No, he's my. He's retired. He's back in Battle Creek, Michigan. Just with this. Oh, that's good. Yeah. You have a son named Pilot?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Pilot inspector.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What? Oh, that. Oh. Oh, yeah. Wait. That's the Lee thing. Wait a minute. Where's your thing here? Jason Lee.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Get your shit together.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I like Jason Lee. What happened with you, too?

[Beth Riesgraf]

It didn't work out on that level. What can I say?

[Adam Carolla]

On that level. What levels did it work out on?

[Beth Riesgraf]

We're very good friends now. We see each other almost. I don't know, every day, practically.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Beth Riesgraf]

There's a little photo. He was very little there. Wow. That wasn't supposed to be taken. I remember being pissed that they took that photo with him.

[Adam Carolla]

You look good when you're pissed.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Thanks.

[Adam Carolla]

I like it. And. Oh, you didn't want him in there, there?

[Beth Riesgraf]

No, I didn't want anybody to take a photo of him.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. I got. I was just watching the Squeakle movie with my kids the other day, and I thought, I like Jason Lee. I know he's done other work, but I know mostly from, you know, from the Squeakles. He's very cute, man. So what now? Wait, two kids?

[Beth Riesgraf]

I have one son, just one child.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, one child.

[Beth Riesgraf]

He's got two kids now, plus my. He has three, including pilot.

[Adam Carolla]

And then what do you guys do? Do like a shared custody thing? Yeah, you could do worse. Yeah, I feel like I would rather. I think I'd rather have two good looking, famous, rich, nice people who are divorced as my parents than two fat people who were together who weren't nice,

[Beth Riesgraf]

who didn't like each other.

[Adam Carolla]

Who didn't like each other?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah, I mean, we kind of were like, listen, this the best thing to do, honestly, even if it's hard or whatever, is to be friends if you're not being friends when you're together. We like each other as people. So why are we doing this if it's not working out kind of thing? So we just decided to be friends. And we're great parents because of that. You know, it's like, we get along. I can go to his house and I don't just drop my child off at his doorstep. I go in, I say hi, we have food, hang out and dating.

[Adam Carolla]

Is he dating?

[Beth Riesgraf]

He's married.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he's married?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah, he's married. And I have a boyfriend.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Tim Hutton. Homeless, Portlandy.

[Beth Riesgraf]

No, the guy on the corner. And I really hit it off.

[Adam Carolla]

So you got a boyfriend? You're all right?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah, I'm good.

[Adam Carolla]

He's remarried. He's laying on his feet.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And they'll break up soon.

[Beth Riesgraf]

No, no, they won't break up.

[Adam Carolla]

You like her?

[Beth Riesgraf]

I do, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Doing a good job.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah, she's doing a good job. My son really loves her too.

[Adam Carolla]

Not more than you.

[Beth Riesgraf]

No, he loves me the most.

[Adam Carolla]

That's weird. It is weird. When you think about your kids and then you think about, you know, you don't have this situation, but all the super creepy step whatevers out there in the world.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, Jesus Christ, could you imagine with the. I mean, you first off, no creepier dude on the planet than stepdad.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't really have to deal with that. Or you might, but that'll be the guy you pick out, right?

[Beth Riesgraf]

There's a lot of pressure to make it right. But my boyfriend's awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

Couldn't imagine being the dude who's broken up with the chick and the chick starts seeing weirdo dude with the.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Then you wonder, are you paranoid or are you actually noticing something?

[Adam Carolla]

Got some lightning bolt tattoos going over there. Listen to a little guar. A little.

[Beth Riesgraf]

He likes Flash Gordon.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bald Brian]

And Dido.

[Allison Rosen]

And He's a meteorologist.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. All right, where we got. You wanna bring it home?

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Dip it, Hunt.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the news with Allison Rosen. E. Voice, baby. Tomorrow we got to talk about Matt the porcelain punisher. Fonda Lear, because he's lucky. I ran out of time. He's heading back to Mexico to say goodbye for one. What?

[Allison Rosen]

To say adios.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. For one last time to his gal he met over there. I think next week.

[Bald Brian]

Pour some punisher in. Matt. Yeah, that could be bad.

[Adam Carolla]

Even though he's. He's feared by men for his. For his porcelain punishing. And he's. He's loved by all the women over there. He's going over there, I think, in about a week to say bye to his Mexican girlfriend. So I told him we got to get him on. I got to talk to him about this, but we'll save that for tomorrow.

[Bald Brian]

Diablo.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we'll talk tomorrow about that. That I got to find out about. I gotta know what's up with that. She lives near the border.

[Allison Rosen]

He's dying to talk about it on the show as well.

[Adam Carolla]

I told him I would show him the same respect I showed him when I was telling him about shitting up the bathroom when he was doing Ace on the house. Anyway, Jeff Ross is calling in tomorrow to talk about his latest shit. We'll get him on anyway. We'll take care of it. Hey, I got a little basic cable commentary show girl. Me and Huell Howser. Number two on the iTunes comedy chart, everybody. Also evoice, baby. Love me some evoice. Good for the business person on the go, which is much better than the business person that is strapped to that refrigerator dolly. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

Right? The business person who's stuck.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bald Brian]

Hannibal Lectra style.

[Allison Rosen]

But even then. Even then, if you were stuck Hannibal Lecter style and someone called you, you can't call into your voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Allison Rosen]

So thank God they're going to email you.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Allison Rosen]

What the person said. They're going to transcribe it. And thank God that they can screen the call for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep, yep. Calls are screened automatically and they can answer the urgent calls. Now let the rest go to voicemail. Professionally recorded customized greetings, menus, and more. And again, they will take your voicemail and put it right to text or an email. And that's what I dig. Click the evoice banner on AdamCroll.com or check it out for free, by the way. Six months. Six months free.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a lot of months.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Beth, that's like four boyfriends for you.

[Allison Rosen]

That's a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Six months free. Www.evoice.com Adam Six months free trial. We'll be into the new year, right? Yeah.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

This is good math. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It'll be 2015. That's great math. By the time you got it.

[Allison Rosen]

25, 10, 400.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Evoice your mobile phone at work. All right. Where the hell did time go, Beth? I enjoyed myself.

[Beth Riesgraf]

Thanks for having me, guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Please come back, all right. And come back anytime you like. Leverage fifth season, Sundays, 8pm TNT. Everybody. You can Twitter her ATH and I'm going to spell it for you. R, I, E, S, G, R A, F. That is Beth Reesgraf. You can twitter her that, her website or the website tntdrama.com leverage is where you can go. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Beth Allison and Wal Brian saying mahalo. You know what I want Black people in the back of world the bus. That was adam K Show 885.

[Show Producer/Announcer]

That does it for classics.

[Brian Bishop]

Make sure to tune next weekend for

[Show Producer/Announcer]

three all new installments. Until then, holl and get it on.

[Beth Riesgraf]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Allison Rosen]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Beth Riesgraf]

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