James Gunn (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Adam Carolla Show – "James Gunn (Carolla Classics)"

Episode Information:

• Title: Adam Carolla Show – James Gunn (Carolla Classics)
• Release Date: July 5, 2025
• Host: Adam Carolla
• Description: This Carolla Classics episode spotlights James Gunn, a multi-faceted guest with strong ties to the Adam Carolla Show. The episode delves into Gunn’s relationship with the show, his career progression, creative processes, and personal anecdotes shared by co-hosts and guests.

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1. Introduction to Carolla Classics and James Gunn

The episode begins with a brief introduction by Giovanni, the host of Carolla Classics, who explains that the show features the best moments and highlights from the Adam Carolla Show over its 16-year run. This particular episode focuses on James Gunn, a seven-time guest known for his humor and creative insights.

Notable Quote:

Giovanni: "Today's episode is all about the great James Gunn, seven-time ACS guest... one of the coolest people to ever appear on the show."
(00:45)

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2. Booking and Appearance History

Giovanni recounts the efforts to secure James Gunn as a guest, highlighting the challenges and eventual success in bringing him on the show. Gunn's appearances are described as legendary, contributing significantly to the show's dynamic.

Notable Quote:

Giovanni: "Brian and I met Mike August there for the first time. I was really adamant on pitching James Gunn to him, and he mentioned that he's had a project I knew was kind of dead in the water with Ben Stiller... leading to James Gunn appearing on episode 67 of the podcast."
(02:57)

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3. Critique of Media Promotion Strategies

Allison Rosen shares a passionate rant about the inefficacy of traditional media promotion methods, particularly book tours. She criticizes the timing and execution of sending promotional materials, emphasizing how it hampers meaningful engagement and successful marketing.

Notable Quote:

Allison Rosen: "If you're setting up one of these mother fucking radio station quagmires, why don't you send the fucking book out on the fucking Friday before the fucking Wednesday when you do the fucking tour so they have the fucking weekend to read the fucking book."
(08:25)

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4. Discussion on Social Identity and Group Dynamics

Allison delves into the complexities of social identity, challenging the necessity of group affiliations based on characteristics like sexuality, ethnicity, or gender. She advocates for individualism and criticizes societal trends of over-identifying with broad groups.

Notable Quotes:

Allison Rosen: "You are your own group."
(25:51)

Allison Rosen: "You're gonna get lost in that crowd. How about you doing your own fucking thing and not make your skin color or your sex or whatever it is you."
(25:39)

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5. Creative Brainstorming: The 'Made Up Movie' Segment

The hosts engage in a humorous and improvisational segment where they invent movie titles and plots on the spot. This showcases their comedic chemistry and ability to think creatively under pressure.

Notable Interaction:

Brian Bishop: "Me day could be like a... one of these where it's a guy, Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey in his regular life, and he does everything for everybody else."
(48:03)

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6. News Segments and Current Events

The episode intersperses discussions about various current events, including a plane crash over Eastern Ukraine and Israeli military operations in Gaza. These segments are handled with the show's characteristic humor and candidness.

Notable Quote:

Adam Carolla: "It was Sitz bath garlic salt. Turns out the medical examiner's report came out. The only thing they found in his system was marijuana."
(71:36)

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7. Behind the Scenes: James Gunn's Directorial Journey

Brian Bishop discusses his experiences directing major films like "Guardians of the Galaxy" and "Suicide Squad," highlighting the collaborative nature of large-scale productions and the importance of a clear creative vision.

Notable Quote:

Brian Bishop: "I storyboarded, like, the first sequence in the movie and showed them that I knew how to deal with big action scenes."
(156:07)

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8. Personal Anecdotes and Interactions with James Gunn

The hosts share personal stories about working with James Gunn and other industry professionals, illustrating the camaraderie and mutual respect within the creative community.

Notable Quote:

Allison Rosen: "I love you. We love you. You're a great guy and we are."
(221:56)

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9. Closing Remarks and Promotions

The episode concludes with promotional segments for sponsors like BlueApron and LifeLock, interwoven with final humorous exchanges among the hosts and guests. The tone remains light-hearted, maintaining the show's engaging atmosphere.

Notable Quote:

Allison Rosen: "All right, James Gunn is out there and we're in here. So we're gonna tell everybody, then go to Aceontheroof.com and check out new episodes of Ray Show."
(183:46)

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Conclusion

This Carolla Classics episode offers an in-depth look at James Gunn's multifaceted relationship with the Adam Carolla Show, blending professional insights with personal humor. From critiquing ineffective promotional strategies to brainstorming creative movie plots, the episode encapsulates the show's blend of candid conversation and unfiltered humor. Listeners gain a comprehensive understanding of James Gunn's impact on the show and his broader career trajectory in the entertainment industry.

Final Notable Quote:

James Gunn: "Thank you. I'm gonna masturbate."
(242:57)

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Note: The summary excludes advertisement segments, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per the provided instructions.

Transcript

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Allison Rosen]

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[James Gunn]

Welcome to Coral Classics. I'm your host superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years the Adam Carolla Show. We have a separate podcast feed titled Coral Classics available through Podcast One Premium. You can find ad free archives for this show. If you'd like to find ad free archives for the Adam Carolla show, the Adam and Dr. Drew show, or exclusive access to the brand new podcast Beat it out, check out Adam Corolla's substack adamcorla.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsamcorola.com Once again, we cannot play any Loveline material nor any material from the Adam Carolla show that air on kayla sex from 2006 to 2009 that immediately precedes the Adam Carolla Show Podcast for that material. It is available elsewhere. For more information, check out my patreon patreon.com Giovanni if you have any questions, I'll help you out. Alright, let's get to the clips. Today's episode is all about the great James Gunn, seven time ACS guest. One of my first bookings on the independent Adam Kurless show podcast all around hilarious, great dude and one of the coolest people to ever appear on the show. James was a huge Loveline fan. He appeared on the Show finally in 2006, right after Adam had departed. In 2005 he lamented that he didn't ever get to appear on the show with both Adam and Drew. I heard this and had recently become interested in more of his work. I was aware of him as a screenwriter from Specials and Scooby Doo and Dawn of the Dead. I didn't really know much else about him. He was married to Jenna Fisher and I knew this movie Slither coming out. I was listening to him promote on Loveline. I'm keeping notice. I'm going to try to get him on the Adam Carolla show if I ever can. Even though I Never had any inclination ever to be possibly. Then I started booking guests for the Adam carolla show in 2008 by suggesting them on air when I would call in. I wanted James Gunn. He was one of the people I wanted, but there was never quite a place to suggest him after getting Mike Rowe on the show for a bunch of fans who wanted that, for a long time he stayed nine legendary segments because a regular guest getting Will Arnett back on the show after he's on Loveline so many times. Several other guests I got on, but with James Gunn, I was at laps for ball. Brian and I met Mike August there for the first time. I was really adamant on pitching James Gunn to him, and I mentioned that he's had a project I knew was kind of dead in the water with Ben Stiller, but I knew it was big and flashy enough that Mike August might bite, and he did, leading to James Gunn appearing on episode 67 of the podcast. Ended up being a legendary appearance. He came on and did another one on one, and then he kept coming back on the show after it changed formats and had a news gal again and a sound effects guy. We've played several clips from his episodes before.

[Allison Rosen]

Today.

[James Gunn]

We'll be featuring three different episodes coming up. First we have Adam Carolla Show 855, James Gunn, Allison Rose, and Brian Bishop from 2012.

[Allison Rosen]

Welcome to the show. Good day, Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

Hello, Adam Carolla.

[Allison Rosen]

Good day, bald Brian.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Hey, a cheese tray.

[Allison Rosen]

And good day to you, and thanks for the support, man. You can go to AdamCroll.com and just hit the Tell a Friend page on our site. Boom. Spread the word by Twitter, Facebook, email. That's what we're counting.

[Gina Grad]

Does Tell a Friend page tell your friends for you? Or does it just tell you how to tell your friends?

[Allison Rosen]

Mike will tell you. I don't know. I've been there. I am a friend. Yeah, no, it's a page. You go on there, you can click one button and it'll email or tweet.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Or Facebook post your friends. It's a dummy's guide on how to download the podcast.

[Allison Rosen]

And you know what? Ultimately, in this day and age of, like, you go on the Tonight show, you say you're gonna be at the Brea Improv. Then you call Mike August the next day and he tells you, we sold eight tickets. And this day of doing, like, I can do radio tours. I did a radio tour this morning, talked to 30 stations. Your book on Amazon goes from 49 to 50. At the end of the radio tour, like, really Nothing moves the needle anymore like it used to be. If you had a book and Oprah held it up, you know, that was something. It is so cluttered. It is so crowded out there today. It's great to go on the Tonight Show. It's great to go on Jimmy's show. It's great to go on everyone's show. But ultimately you want to move the needle. It's the 300,000 plus people that are listening right now. Telling a friend doing a radio tour to a bunch of people that are already listening to terrestrial radio probably doesn't move the needle. Speaking of the radio tour. Oy. So I go to bed at the same time every night, like, no matter what. So if I'm going when the wine bottle's empty, yes. If I'm going, yes. It's like sand through the hourglass. So like Pinot Noir through the wine bottle, so goes the days of our nights. So I go to bed at 12:30 no matter what. And if I'm going fishing the next morning, then I just get up at 4:45. And if I'm not, I sleep till 8:45. But either way, I'm pretty much going to bed at the same time. And so I always go to bed a little bit late and the early mornings are a little bit tough. And I had one of those radio tours this morning. And you call in, I think I called in about 6:25. And you speak to the woman and she puts you on hold and you roll through your calls. And it became abundantly clear after every. About the first eight stations I did where people were plugging not Taco Bell material. And I could see them just reading off. I could hear them. They'd ask the same three questions, which were the same three stories that were on sort of the one sheet, you know, so. So clearly no one had read the book or even skimmed the book. And look, I understand you don't sit down and read 330 pages. What you do is you either give it to your assistant or you give it to your producer, or you take it home over the weekend, you skim through it and you dog ear a couple of pages and you pretend like you read it. Yeah, now I'll watch a doc if someone gives it to me. I don't usually watch a movie, but book taller order. Now, it was abundantly clear immediately that nobody had read the book and no one had skimmed the book and no one had opened the book. They were just asking questions that were straight off this one piece of paper. And so I Said they were asking.

[Gina Grad]

Rudimentary questions, like this book has words in it.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Oh, they didn't even words on the page or the pop up that would have been too specific for what went on. And I said during the break, in between one of the stations, you get 80 seconds in between where they're going, we're trying to get the folks from Kansas City on the line. And I said to the woman who I guess there's a company that sets these things up. Now, the last one got scrapped because even though it was on everyone's calendar, the publisher and the publicist for the publisher never contacted the company that sets the things up. So even though I thought it was coming the night before, it was scrapped at the end this time I said, so did everyone get the book? And she said, yeah, everyone got the book. And I started going, what the fuck is wrong with these people? They couldn't bring it home over the weekend and give it a read or a skim or something? And I said, when did they get the book? And she said, well, I sent it out on Monday. And I said, well, It's Tuesday at 6 in the morning or Wednesday at 6 in the morning, so when do you think they got it? And she said, well, I overnighted it, so they got it on Tuesday. Except for though, as one of the morning shows explained to me, they're all gone by the time the mail comes. So here's the deal. Send them the book. Monday, book arrives 1 o' clock Tuesday morning, show crew cleared out of the building by noon. Then Wednesday at 6am when they show up, there's the book. And then that's the first time they lay eyes on it.

[Adam Carolla]

And they're like, oh, this is the book by that guy who didn't appreciate our questions.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not gonna read that now.

[Allison Rosen]

How can you read it? Because you literally just got the book that morning.

[Adam Carolla]

You can only read it after when it won't help.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. Now here's my point. If you're setting up one of these mother fucking radio station quagmires, why don't you send the fucking book out on the fucking Friday before the fucking Wednesday when you do the fucking tour so they have the fucking weekend to read the fucking book.

[Adam Carolla]

Good question.

[Allison Rosen]

Any fucking sense to anybody but me. And you had ample time because the last book tour which was supposed to take place like last Tuesday, got cancelled because the publicist over at Crown never alerted those people what was going on. So it was like one of these things where they set up the book Tour in their mind and everyone else's mind. But they never told the book tour people, the people who set up all the radio stations, yay or nay? They just said, like, we'll call you back. And then they thought it was a done deal, and they never called them back. And then I just thought, what's wrong with adults?

[Brian Bishop]

Really?

[Allison Rosen]

You don't want to. You can send the fi. First off, you could have sent the fucking book out two weeks earlier, but the second you found out the new book torn or don't send it all, by the way. Don't send the book out at all. Like, let's save eight bucks a unit. A station. Like, they can't possibly read it because they got it that morning. And I'm on the phone with them that morning. What the fuck is up with everybody?

[Adam Carolla]

Did you ask them that? Why not send it sooner?

[Allison Rosen]

There's nobody to ask. I'm not talking. I'm only talking to a radio station, and I'm talking to a third party that hosts these, you know, these syndicated radio tours. The book. Everyone who works for the book company is asleep in New York or killing babies. One of the two.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

They're not.

[Gina Grad]

Both could be asleep on babies. Smothering them.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Sleeping. Rolling over on infants. Yes, that's what I'm saying. They're. They're. They're. They you never get to talk to. Yes, you can call them and ask them, what the fuck? But all I would do is talk to my editor and ask her, what the fuck? And then she would say, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. And then, you know, it would sort of fade out. She talked someone and there was a problem. And then so. And so is miscommunicating. But with an email. Something with an email. But I'm just saying, why send all the books out and do a publicity tour when no one can possibly read the book? And it's so much nicer when you do these tours to have somebody go, I took the book home on Friday. I read it over the weekend. Even my husband or my wife got hold of it. She was laughing. We love this chapter. And then you get into the specifics, other than the person who's clearly just reading either off the IMDb page or just off of the piece of paper going, so you knew Molly Ringwald. That's basically it. So I did 30 of those. So it's awesome. But why? And then why the fact that the book gets fucking sent? You know what I mean?

[Gina Grad]

It's the willful lying to oneself. That's confusing. It's like the basketball. The football coach is calling timeout to the end of a blowout. It's like, we know you have to check that box to say, oh, we tried our best, but it's like the ship's going down.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think it's all just ass covering as opposed to actually wanting to do the best job. It's just wanting to be able to say, yeah, I did it.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I did it. It versus what really are we here to do? Like, we're here to move units. And what would be the most effective way to move units? Well, that would get said unit into said hand of said DJ for the weekend. And not that morning, but anyway, so that put me in a fantastic mood, and that was great. And I stumbled onto something. Tell me what you guys think of this. I got a couple of gay things to say here. One is, you know, you talk to gay dudes. I got gay friends in the past. And I'd say to them, like, how do you know when a dude's gay? Like, how can you tell? And they go, I can tell. And he'd go, yeah, but what do you know? Like, what if you come up to the wrong dude? That'd be embarrassing, right? Come up to a straight dude. You try to make a move. Like, how do you know? And I realized a lot of it was the look, and a lot of that look was the manscaping that was going on. Eyebrows, things like that, tanning, hairstyle, frosted tips, whatever was going on. Straight guys back in the day did not do their eyebrows. They just didn't. They didn't touch their eyebrows. Like, straight dudes. No eyebrows. Now all the straight dudes do their eyebrows. Like, think about just the tell of the eyebrow. Back in the day, if a dude had his brows done up and you were gay, you're pretty sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, his brows said he'd be in for some. Yeah, whatever you're into.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't even have to turn around and look at what color bandanas hanging out of your back pocket. I just need to see the brow.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't even need to. You don't need to figure out which ear that earring is in.

[Allison Rosen]

Right? Right. We didn't have to deal with that.

[Adam Carolla]

If that even means that you don't even need to see the foot tap.

[Allison Rosen]

There's nothing. All I just have to say is, does this guy exfoliate? Is he tanned? Has he got the spray on stuff? Does he look super well groomed? Is he super well taken Care of. Did he have the waxing done and then you'd go, dude. And or six pack abs. Is he in great shape? You know, there's all those kind of tells.

[Adam Carolla]

Fit of his jeans.

[Allison Rosen]

Fit of the jeans. Just the fact that he was wearing jeans that were more than 30 bucks that didn't have reinforced knees. Ironically, the gays I know would never wear jeans with reinforced knees. The one group that could use the reinforced jeans.

[Adam Carolla]

I spent some time around a gay man recently and he had these special. They were called blue eye drops or something. And it's this blue liquid in this glass bottle.

[Allison Rosen]

Kinks to come out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that's. No, you put them in your eyes and they make the whites of your eyes whiter. But they're illegal here.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, really?

[Adam Carolla]

Some of their illegal here, but they haven't been FDA cleared or whatever. So he got them overseas and he was saying they're refreshing. But I was thinking, I bet that stings because whatever the hell is it, like there's something icky in there. And that's taking manscaping to a whole new level.

[Allison Rosen]

Right? But now that everybody is cultivating that look with the eyebrows and the tanning cream and all the, you know, by the way, the 15 different things in your cabinet for shaving, you know, used to be.

[Adam Carolla]

You guys do that.

[Allison Rosen]

Used to be a Bic and then it'd just be some electric shave or after, you know, Aqua Belvo or something. Pow. Well, listen, they gave me 80,000 bucks worth of shit. What do you want me to do with it now? I gotta. Not only do I.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you gotta be gay.

[Allison Rosen]

I got the brush to put on. To put on the badger hair. Yeah, I got the badger hair brush and I got the one that's hooked up. The thing vibrates. Everything vibrates. Everything's better when it vibrates. I don't know what it is. Yeah, it's great. Feels awesome. But anyway, so a gay. No, no. The tells are tough these days. You don't know if the guy's gay or he's just super well groomed. B. And the good side is probably a compliment to the well groomed guy rather than a knuckle sandwich from the past. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You think the well groomed guy's in a position to give a knuckle sandwich?

[Allison Rosen]

In the past.

[Gina Grad]

In the past. Yeah, that's nowadays.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, he's not well groomed in the past. That's what I'm saying, right? Like in the past. You get the fuck away from me, homo.

[Adam Carolla]

Now. She's like, oh, you think I look like Ryan Seacrest?

[Allison Rosen]

Someone did an awesome job on my eyebrows, bro. All right. And speaking of gay, I had this moment. I don't know. You tell me if I'm too uptight. Actually, don't. I was getting ready to go do the talk the other day and it's just they got Julie Chen, who's a zero, but she's married to Les Moonvest, so she's on that show. Then they have Osborne, who's like, she has energy, but that's an accent.

[Brian Bishop]

Most people would rather remove a nest of irate hornets than search for auto and home insurance. That's why the zebra searches for you. Comparing over 100 insurance companies to find.

[Gina Grad]

Savings no one else can Compare [e-mail].

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I think I'll wait inside.

[Adam Carolla]

What color is her hair?

[Allison Rosen]

Bright red.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wait, yeah, the mom. It's the daughter whose hair I can't figure out. Is that gray or lavender?

[Gina Grad]

What's the color of your sweater?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Now this is the old. This is the old super bad talk. Now there's a new talk that's marginally better.

[Adam Carolla]

Isn't Aisha Tyler on the show?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. Cause Aisha Tyler's great and I got this other black chick who seems pretty funny. And then I don't know who else is on the show. But anyway, it's fine. It's eight chicks sitting around all talking at once. And I went on and I was sitting in my dressing room and I was getting ready to go on and you know, the segment producers are always super nervous. You know, they come in and they're always like, they're just like. They remind me of guys that are completely pussy whipped and have been in a bad relationship for a lot of years. Because I used to work on these guys houses and I'd say stuff like, you know, I'd say, listen, I'm gonna just use base shoe instead of quarter round for the molding. Yeah, wait till Cheryl comes. Wait a minute.

[Gina Grad]

Can we Timmy, call the wife?

[Allison Rosen]

She's coming home from Galison. Just give her a minute. Just give it. I think I see a Range Rover now. Like just. I know a pussy whipped dude. I love a pussy whipped dude. And just because I like make fun of him. And every single segment producer's always scared shitless. Like, Ellen's vegan, okay? Oh really? Cause we're gonna bring a fucking spit up there and put a pig in the ground. No, the guy told me two times Ellen was vegan. Not that there was any Vegan conversation, cooking conversation, food conversation, culinary conversation. There was no.

[Adam Carolla]

You weren't wearing an I Heart Meatloaf T shirt.

[Gina Grad]

No, his book is about Taco Bell.

[Allison Rosen]

I was not wearing Lady Gaga's dress. This was before that. I was not doing. And there was no vegan. It's just obviously Ellen's a bitch. And it scared the shit out of this guy. And somebody at some point came in and started talking about bacon. And then he got yelled at. And now every single fucking person who comes in there, you get the Ellen's a vegan. Who gives a fuck if Ellen's a vegan? What the fuck does that have to do with me? And has nothing to do with our conversation. But obviously Ellen's a bitch and you're pussy whipped, so I get it. So every single segment producer is. There's a couple of guys, Leno's guys aren't scared of him. Jimmy's guys aren't scared of him. But Letterman's guys are scared shitless of him. Shitless of him. And Ellen's guy seems scared shitless of her.

[Adam Carolla]

Were your guys on man show scared of you?

[Allison Rosen]

No, our guy, first off, we used to get into a pickup. We used to get into a pickup basketball game with me and Jimmy and some of the guys and the writers and shit like that. And I used to laugh because there's a guy named Rob Hammersley who was just called the Ham. And he didn't write too much. He was just sort of one of the writers who didn't get a lot on the air. But we'd be like playing basketball in my backyard at night. Like, you know, I would get a game together, Cousin Sound, you know, Damascia and all that sort of stuff. And at some point he'd fucking throw an elbow at me and knock me over. And then, you know, go in and throw a layup in. And then I'd stand up and I'd go, charge. That was a charge. And he'd fucking spike the ball and go, that's fucking pussy chicken shit, man. And go like storming off to, like, let the baby have his bottle. And he'd throw the ball to me real hard. I'd be like, wow, I'm your boss. That's what you're. You're throwing the ball at me really hard and calling me chicken shit, pussy shit and storing. Then that's when I realized there's probably not a big fear element here. The guy's throwing a chest pass at me real hard and going, fine, pussy, take it out.

[Gina Grad]

Same Thing happened to Johnny Carson back.

[Allison Rosen]

In the day, I'm sure when he was playing tennis. Yeah. So. Nah, didn't seem to be that much of it. At least I didn't notice it. But anyway, who knows? I never thought they were frightened. Whenever we do run throughs, they'd all be sitting in the bleachers drinking beer on Fridays and usually throwing a Nerf football back and forth. And then I'd go up to their riders room and they'd be having a Connect4 tournament. And then I'd say, what's going on? And they go, you want in? And that's when I realized the fear factor wasn't really what it could have been with the Connect 4. Anyway, the segment producer who are like, they're always nervous, you know, here's what we're going to talk about. Here's what we're going to talk about. Then they're going to talk about this, then they're going to talk about that, then they're going to bring this up. Do you know what I mean? What are you going to say when they bring that up? And then I always go, listen, whatever they want to bring up, they'll bring it up and then we'll talk about it and don't worry about it. And I'm from radio and podcasting, I can talk about anything. So whatever they want. And they end up bringing up way too many things and they never get to all those things. So you have like a seven minute segment, they bring up 14 things and you get to three of them maybe. And I just go, look, whatever it is, just fucking whatever they want to bring up is fine with me. So we're getting ready to go do it. And then at the last minute, he comes up and he goes, sara Gilbert wants to bring up the whole thing with you, you know, hating the gays and the lesbians. And I'm like, who's Sarah Gilbert? She's the one on the show from Roseanne. What's her deal? She's a lesbian. She is, yeah. And what she want to bring up, she wants bring up the whole controversy with you and the gays and lesbians and the way you hate them and stuff like that. And I'm like, I made a Chaz Bono joke. I made a Chaz Bono joke on stage. By the way, if you can't make fun of Chaz Bono, the fuck can you make fun of anymore? And the way you hate gays and the lesbians. And I know, listen, Chris Brown balled up his fist and started punching Rihanna in the face repeatedly. And he and Iron are about the same level as the. You know, the comedian who made a joke. That's right.

[Gina Grad]

I was making a comeback.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you flatter yourself.

[Allison Rosen]

I'd like to get up to Chris Brown level. Guy fucking balls up his fist and starts punching the chick in the face and trying to choke her and stuff. And somehow we're just the same dude. The dude who's never raised a hand to a gay or lesbian. I told you, I'm gonna tell my fucking son. You fucking learn to dance. It'll be like, what for? Because you can commit rape, homicide, and arson, and you'll be fine. The public, it doesn't matter what they say about you. Yeah, Pedroville, they'll go, listen, he may have killed more fucking hookers than Stalin killed peasants, but you know what? He could dance.

[Adam Carolla]

That was Hitler's main misstep. He couldn't dance.

[Allison Rosen]

He could not dance. They will end every fucking sentence with, but he could dance. I don't care how. I don't care. If you go in and go, Tim McVeigh, you take your Ford fucking van and drive it into the public library and take out 2,000 school children. It doesn't matter if you. At the end, they'll go, but he could dance.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. If you moonwalk into court, you win.

[Allison Rosen]

So I thought, listen, I don't care. Whatever you want to. You know, My publicist was like, no, I don't want to talk about. And I was like, I don't. Then it's weird. Like, whatever you want to talk about. And then I thought, isn't this sort of about me and my book? Like, Sarah Gilbert, this is about you and being a lesbian. And then I realize most all this stuff is just pure, flat out fucking narcissism, which is, Sarah Gilbert, nobody outside of your immediate family and a handful of your friends really gives a shit about you. And I don't mean that in a bad way. They don't give a shit about me either. They just don't give a shit. We don't give a shit. You're the chick who used to be on that TV show, and now you're on a show that no one watches and no one gives a fuck. So, fine, and that's cool. You got your friends, you got your significant other, you got your cat, you got whomever, and that's that. Why does this have to turn to you and doesn't all this stuff, all the finger pointing and all the calling of names and especially all the, you know, homophobia and all this stuff. Doesn't it all. Like when I said that guys were funnier than chicks, every chick took it upon herself. Well, then I guess I wouldn't be. I It turns out I, I, I'm on your fucking sh. Show, selling a fucking book. Can we not talk about you and your lesbian behavior or the way this group that you seem to represent, Although I don't know why does every lesbian become the representative for every lesbian and.

[Adam Carolla]

Every black dive into your first muscle?

[Allison Rosen]

No, it's just. Jesus Christ. It's not about you. This is all about. This is narcissism. It's not about lesbian rights. It's about, let's turn it toward me.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam, that reminds me of the time.

[Allison Rosen]

That's what I'm saying. It's narcissism. That's what all this stuff is. It's. Let's talk about me. And I don't produce anything. I mean, the me part is I don't have a book to sell. I don't have a voice. I don't have a sense of humor. I don't have ability. But what I do have is this. I'm a lesbian, or I'm black, or I'm a feminist, or I'm whatever, and I'm gonna march, and I'm gonna show you. And I'm this and I'm that, and I'm that group, and I'm this group. Fuck your groups. How about you go do something individually? Stop turning it into you and your group. And by the way, just sharing the same sexual proclivities with somebody else or skin color. That's a, that's a tight enough organization for you. Do you know what I mean?

[Gina Grad]

Does seem somewhat presumptuous, even.

[Allison Rosen]

But I mean, like, okay, I'm half Italian. I wouldn't want to fucking lump myself in with all Italians. Like, why? It's not enough. I'm from North Hollywood, so me and everyone from North Hollywood, like, who gives a fuck? Who are you as an individual? Like, really, this group is too big. There's too many gays and lesbians. There's too many blacks. There's too many Hispanics. There's too. By the way, there's more women than there are men. Like, that's your group. That's the group you're gonna affiliate yourself with?

[Adam Carolla]

Can't you be a floater?

[Gina Grad]

We need a final solution to all of this.

[Adam Carolla]

Can you dance?

[Allison Rosen]

You're 51% of the planet as females. That's your minority group. There's oh, there's 4 billion of us. That's the group you're gonna identify with. Good luck getting those jackets embroidered. How's that? Cold. Okay. Anyway, I'm just saying.

[Adam Carolla]

So how did it go when she brought this up with you?

[Allison Rosen]

I just say to everybody what I say to everybody, which is. Anything you want to bring up, just bring it up. I don't care. And by the way, if I didn't like gays or lesbians or blacks or Mexicans or whoever I was making fun of, don't you think I'd play it a little closer to the vest? What if really in my heart, like, I was really, like, thinking, God damn, I hate those gays. You think I'd be joking about it so much?

[Adam Carolla]

Not with such frivolity and fervor.

[Allison Rosen]

Thank you. If I really did, I'd be keeping a little closer, you know what I mean? Because I'd feel guilty about. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

People who are fueled with hate and rage aren't really making jokes so much. They're just being angry about it. Or over hiding or overflowing.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's one or the other. It's the preacher who's talking about the sin of one man laying down with another and then getting the call boys over that evening. Or it's the guy who's quietly. And you get caught. The guy gets caught with an email or something. That's horrible. But his outer life is. He's the politician, that's all. He's got the brill cream in, and he's got his teeth polished, and he's talking about one world and one village and all that kind of shit. He doesn't make a bunch of gay jokes.

[Adam Carolla]

Growing up, I was an atheist in a very religious, kind of homogenous place. And I always hid the fact that I was an atheist because I didn't want them to think I was godless and awful or whatever they were gonna think. And I remember a kid came up to me one time and said, alison, it was in, like, second or third grade. Do you believe in God? And I said, yes. Like, very solemn yes. And he was holding a Bible, and he was just joking around, you know, and he was being all lighthearted about it, but I was super grave about it. Which is what you're saying about the overcompensating.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And I'm just saying this. I don't have anything against Sara Gilbert. You're a lesbian. I'm heterosexual. Allison is bi. The point is this. You are whatever you are. There's plenty of you. I'm on your show to plug my fucking book. Not talk about your group. Let's not make it about you. And if you're black, all right, you're black. So there's you and then there's 30 other million black folks, mostly in the NBA now, some in the head office, some in the front office. Developmentally, that's who you want to identify with. 30 million other people, or you just want to fucking do your own thing, or you're Hispanic, or you're whatever, or you're an atheist. You know what I mean? Like, that's your group. Do you need that? Is that at the end of the day, with your very short stay here on this planet? Is that what you want to say? I'm part of this huge group. Take the Coliseum and fill it 200 times over. And that's. Those are my brothers. You're going to get lost in that crowd. How about you doing your own fucking thing and not make your skin color or your sex or whatever it is you. That's your personality. I mean, you see it in sports a lot. It's pathetic. I always think it's pathetic when you see the guys living and dying with the Broncos or whatever it is. But it's just as pathetic over your nationality or your skin color.

[Adam Carolla]

It's weird because I feel like a lot of people kind of go both ways, like I do, apparently, which is that you don't want to be defined by it and you want to be an individual. But then when you feel like your group, however big it is, has been slighted or something, then all of a sudden you become filled with, like, whatever, pride and you have to trumpet it.

[Allison Rosen]

I'd ask everyone, just fucking drop that group. That group's not gonna do any, by the way, black folk. If that group was gonna do anything for you, they would have made their move by now.

[Adam Carolla]

Three times, fool.

[Allison Rosen]

Evidently, they're not gonna do anything for you. So drop it and move on. Hispanic, gay, white, religious, everything. Just everyone. Fucking raise your family. Move the fuck on. Thank you.

[Gina Grad]

You are your own group.

[Allison Rosen]

You are your own group.

[Gina Grad]

How about that?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

PSA with you.

[Allison Rosen]

Don't say that in front of Ralphie May. He'll take it the wrong way. All right, where the hell were we? Lovett's Theater, Saturday, June 30th. With the Dreamy Doctor.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I love him.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, he's a group and a half, that boy. San Antonio. Empire theater, coming up, July 13th. And me and Dennis Prager in Houston and Phoenix coming up as well. Got some phone calls. Are we gonna do Made up movie. Yeah, we got that. We got James Gunn, director, coming up in here. Like him used to be married to Jenna Fisher from the Office. Remember that?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

He's been here before.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, he's been here a couple times. Hey, Travis. Yes, sir. You looking for career advice?

[Brian Bishop]

I am indeed.

[Allison Rosen]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

I have been working out in Hollywood for the last five years. Originally from Dallas, and for the first three years, I was working at a talent agency, and the last two years working at a management company, and they've both been kind of on the fringe. No real big stars and. No. We booked some tv, we booked some commercials, and I haven't been promoted in two years since I got there, and I feel like it's never going to happen.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, what do you want to do? Well, I feel like I'm really.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm passionate about what I do, and I feel like I'm good.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, that's exactly what I asked you. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

What do I want to do? I want to keep.

[Allison Rosen]

Ask me what my sign is.

[Adam Carolla]

Allison, what's your sign?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, I'm passionate about my sign.

[Adam Carolla]

Scorpio.

[Allison Rosen]

I feel like I'm very good with my sign.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, but what is your sign?

[Allison Rosen]

I'll tell you what it's not. It's not a sign that I'm not passionate about. Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

Right, okay. But what's your sign? Like, what month were you born and your actual sign?

[Allison Rosen]

My sign is a sign that I feel great passion about as a sign, and it's not a sign that I don't feel non passion for Libra. Hey, Travis. Yes, sir. What are you looking to do?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm looking to stay in the business. I'm looking to become a talent manager.

[Allison Rosen]

You want to be a manager? Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Or an agent. I want to do that.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know a lot about this other than the answer for almost every job, especially difficult job, seems to be the same, which is show up somewhere, be willing to work for free, don't piss anybody off, and literally just learn and impress. I don't even know what that means, but it seems to be universal with everything in this business, because this business, see, other businesses are like, study for the bar, go to law school, take the bar, study for the bar, pass the bar, then go to work for a law firm. There's a million different stories. Everybody has a different story for how they got into this business. There's no one right path for getting into this business.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, but Travis seems like he might be past that, though, because he's been at the place for two years. And he's kind of going, if I can put words in your mouth, it's going nowhere. Like he's not getting the upward mobility he wants.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And I keep applying to bigger companies, and what really set me off to today was this person I work with who is a complete idiot. She's been there for nine months, and she got called into an interview with caa. And I'm like, what the hell am I doing wrong? And I show up. I'm the first one there. I'm the last one to leave. I'm putting in the work. I'm energetic, blah, blah, blah.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Well, I will say. Let me say this as well. Work and life, it doesn't reward you incrementally. It can sort of. You can have. You can be first into the office, last out of the office, do the work of three people, be the best one, blah, blah, blah, and be the least paid. And nothing happens for three years. And then all of a sudden, a bunch of good shit starts happening. It's not like it happens in little bits and pieces.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Allison Rosen]

All the time.

[Adam Carolla]

When you think that it's time to throw in the towel and quit, that's sometimes when it happens. But do you have a good relationship with your clients? Do you have clients?

[Allison Rosen]

I do.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I have good clients. I have clients that don't even talk to my boss anymore, that only talk to me. And so I feel like. And they keep telling me to keep doing what I'm doing and pay off. And I've sought other people for career advice in that sense, but I'm just like, what is the point? I'm 28. Eventually I'd like to start a family. I'd like to make more than $15 an hour.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, but, Travis, what's the point? All right, let me. Let me. I'll tell you the point, and then I'm hanging up. First off, the point is, theoretically, you have a passion for what you do. If you don't have a passion for what you do, then forget it. Number two, you chose a very low percentage route. So you're like, hey, what about a family? What about a mortgage? What about payments? What about utility bills? Well, you picked a super low percentage route. You're like someone who said, I'm going to play in the NFL or I'm going to play professional baseball or something. You know, talent management and successful talent management. That's a super low percentage route to go through. If it works, it's fantastic. But it's like a lot of things, like being a musician and Going, hey, I'm in a band and I got to pay a mortgage. Well, you're the one who chose to be in a band and not work at the postal sorting place. So you chose something that was very difficult, very competitive and very interesting. Now what's going to see you through it is passion. If you have a real love and a passion for it, then the lean years will be alright because you'll be doing what you do. You know what I'm saying?

[Gina Grad]

I quote you all the time, Adam, to my friends of mine who are out of work or going through a rough patch in work. And it's if you, which is what you said a long time ago, if you're talented and you're hardworking, chances are really good it's gonna work out. It's probably gonna work out. Maybe not exactly the way you want it to, but if you're hard working, you're talented, things are gonna find their way to success.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, the thing about the universe is it's not fair, but it's not unfair. It doesn't care. That's what I'm trying to tell people. Whether you're lesbian or black or whatever you are. It doesn't care. It really doesn't care. Or both. It doesn't care. I love Joan Armitrade. It does not care. So what it does is it is pretty much based on who works the hardest and who's the most talented and who combines those two elements and that's who. The universe. And by the way, the universe doesn't even repay those people. It just gets out of the way. The universe basically stands there off the sidelines.

[Adam Carolla]

It doesn't smote them.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, they are the chain gang of life. They just sort of stand there off the side, move the chains back and forth. They don't put the ball one place or the other. They just spot it. It's an NFL thing. They just spot it. And that's it. And that's how it works. Now, once in a while you get a real lucky break. And once in a while somebody who's wildly talented gets fucked over. But that's not going to be you. That's going to be the wild extreme one way and the wild extreme the other. You're going to land somewhere in the middle, somewhere in the middle of Stillborn and hit the Texas lottery. You know what I mean? We're all in between that. Is the universe for us or against us? That's all I'm saying. All right, where the hell were we? Phone calls. Oh, Jesus. This guy's a helper, right? For a manager? Talent assistant. Assistant helper. Yeah. I asked. But, no, it struck me because he said I had a great relationship with. With the talent. Sometimes the talent has a better relationship with the assistant than they do. I had that relationship with an assistant. And the man died of auto erotic asphyxiation. And you think you've been to some tough funerals. Try that one. And try that one when the dude's like 26.

[Gina Grad]

I knew this guy.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, he's a really good guy. Really good guy. That. I mean, when somebody dies at 20, something just bright, good looking, smart, all that stuff that's. And, you know, parents are there, you know, flew in kind of thing. That's pretty brutal. When he went that way.

[Adam Carolla]

How did they address it?

[Allison Rosen]

They didn't really get into the specifics.

[Adam Carolla]

Do the parents know.

[Allison Rosen]

Dry erase board. Oh, no, no. They used a magnet board like they do in the traffic court. Yeah. Oh, please. How did they dress? They don't need to dress. They can say things like, he's gone and nothing will bring him back. No one's gonna raise their hand and go, what do you mean? How'd he go?

[Adam Carolla]

I would have felt that there was something hanging in the air. And they weren't saying.

[Allison Rosen]

There was a little tension. Yeah. It was not a good. It was not a comfortable two hours.

[Adam Carolla]

What I meant more is how did they dance around it?

[Gina Grad]

It was hard to breathe.

[Adam Carolla]

It was.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Do the parents know?

[Allison Rosen]

No, I'm. Yeah. Yeah. But no, it's the same thing you do. Like, so and so's gone and he'll be missed. And, you know, he's a good son and he was a good friend. And, you know, it was like. You don't really. If you think about it, a funeral, you know, it's not a whole lot of talking about the specifics of. Unless it's something bizarre and controversial that involves the LAPD or something. In which case you may. Yeah, some preacher may get a little mouthy, but, I mean, in this case, steered clear pretty much. We had a tacit agreement with everybody, entered the place. A knowing nod of.

[Adam Carolla]

And you think that's what he would have wanted?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. Yes, he would have.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's really sad. Strangely funny, but not.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, incredibly sad. Nicest dude in the world. I don't know a worse hand that could be dealt to parents. Because what happened? Because now you have the part where when suicide's an upgrade, that's bad. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, when one parent is Stomping on the other parent's foot and going suicide. That's not good because that doesn't sound awesome as a parent either. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Allison Rosen]

This one is, you know, where do you go from there? You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

They should really teach it in schools.

[Allison Rosen]

The excuse or the safety part?

[Adam Carolla]

How to.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

How to deal with the uncomfortable situations.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no, no. How to auto erotic.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, I thought you meant how to.

[Brian Bishop]

Deal with the uncomfortable conversations.

[Allison Rosen]

No, no, no.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean how to, you know, choke yourself please oneself. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Hi, I'm Keith Carradine. Oh, God. All right, you may want to know why my gi is black. All right, moving forward, even something as innocent as these nunchucks could be used. Okay. All right, we will take ourselves a quick break. Wait a minute. What do we got here? Oh, yeah, Score. Big dot com. James Gunn will bring in in one second. Director. Done some video games and some movies and real good guy. Yeah, get it on, everybody. James Gunn in studios got a video game out called Lollipop Chainsaw. Yep. Cheerleader uses her acrobatic and chainsaw and the chainsaws to kill zombies in her high school. When will you grow up? Is that what it says there? That's what it says.

[Brian Bishop]

That's accurate, I suppose. But she's also got her disembodied boyfriend.

[Allison Rosen]

Her. Her.

[Brian Bishop]

Her boyfriend's disembodied head attached to her waist.

[Allison Rosen]

And by the way, Xbox. 360, PlayStation 3. Get it at Amazon. And you know what to do, people. Keep the pirate ship going, baby. James said every time he comes back here, something changes.

[Brian Bishop]

It does.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a good thing, right?

[Brian Bishop]

It is a good thing. It keeps getting bigger and better and stronger and brighter.

[Allison Rosen]

And that's because the people are telling a friend and clicking through our website and going through Amazon and kapow. Little wind, little. Little breath into our sails. The website, by the way. Lollipopchainsaw.com Jamesgunn.com James, how do you do a video game? How do you direct a video? You've directed a lot of movies?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I mean, well, I wrote the video game and worked with this guy by the name of Suda, 51, who's like this Japanese rock star of game designers and basically Suda in Warner Brothers came to me and said, wanted to collaborate in creating this game. And I had never done one before, but I learned along the way. And so it was a lot of fun, but it's a lot different. The script is huge. You know, we're talking About a regular screenplay is 100 pages. A video game screenplay is, you know, on the shorter side is like, you know, many hundreds of pages.

[Allison Rosen]

Really? Because of all the different scenarios.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Like, let's say there's a scene in which, you know, in the game, for instance, Juliet will have to save a classmate in the corner from a zombie. And maybe she saves a classmate in which the classmate is going to say something like, you know, thank you, I'm gonna masturbate to you later. Or if he, you know, if the classmate gets killed, they're like, you killed me, you asshole, and dies.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

So you have to write like 30 versions of both of those things.

[Allison Rosen]

And this is a documentary.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, exactly.

[Allison Rosen]

It's tuned out.

[Brian Bishop]

It is. It's Paradise Lost 4, the video game.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. So you have to have all the different scenarios.

[Brian Bishop]

You have to write like a bunch of different lines for different situations that could arise that player couldn't.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I never thought about that because that's sort of interesting. So, you know, when some you think of like, well, you think, you know, oh, the script to Kill Bill would be the biggest thing you'd ever have to put out at 210 pages or something like that. But this is 400 pages.

[Adam Carolla]

It sounds exhausting.

[Brian Bishop]

A thousand pages, maybe. It makes it fun, actually, for me because, you know, you don't. In a movie, you don't have any room for excess in this. You can joke about all sorts of stuff, have stuff for the fans, just do anything. So it makes it a lot more fun.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm just looking at the screen. By the way, Jim Norton's coming in here tomorrow. LeVar Burton. We can ask him about calling me my desk at the man show and tell me to knock it off, whatever I was saying. LeVar Burton, yeah, he threatened me physically. Well, it didn't escalate to that, but it could have. Dr. Drew, Greg Proops, Alonzo Bowden, he's my muscle. Maybe I'll keep him nearby, have him talk, feel the bar. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? All right, we're gonna do a little made up movie because James Gunn, he makes up movies for women and video games, not Taco Bell material. That's my book. Available now, hardcover, ebook and audiobook. Special guest, Dr. Drew and my buddy Ray on the audiobook. By the way, I think we have a little. We have a little clip to play from the audiobook. Why don't you guys look at the screen? James and company pick out one of the folks that have tweeted in There you. You provide the title. We'll build the movie around the title. I oftentimes I think these things rival many of the stuff, many of the movies that come out of Hollywood, at least in premise. You guys pick one out. We'll play a little clip from the audiobook. This is about Andy, the Jehovah's Jehovah's Witness painter, by the way, living in the garage. And I got myself a job painting commercial offices with a guy named Andy, who was a Jehovah's Witness. Painting is a monotonous, shitty job. But painting offices, especially commercial offices, is the worst because they have the vinyl baseboard and the drop ceilings and the metal casing around the door. There's no trim work to do. You just sit there and roll on an endless sea of Mustang white or Navajo white. And my only company was a fat Jehovah's Witness with a bad mustache named Andy, who was constantly sharing the good news with me. And believe me, I was at a pretty vulnerable point in my life. I was 80 bucks away from doing gay porn. Andy'd be like, we're having a big jamboree at Dodger Stadium this weekend. You wanna come along? All I remember is he drove a piece of shit van and he had seven kids all named after apostles. And I thought, jehovah ain't been good to you, Andy, when you're preaching a religion, get a decent car and have a hot looking wife, you know what I mean? Then I can get behind it. Like if you saw some late night infomercial and there was a guy telling you about how to get rich through buying real estate with no money down, but he pulled up in a Vega covered with Bondo and he was living out of a one bedroom apartment and wearing just a Hanes V neck. How apt would you be to pick up what he was putting down? I feel the same way about religion. I don't want fat guys in primered vans telling me how glorious it is. If this is what I got to look forward to, I'm gonna fucking worship the devil. Yeah. And that I did. From Jehovah's Witnesses to born again Christians. I was praying to get a Jew on one of those sites. Never, never. And never work with black guys or Jews.

[Brian Bishop]

Never work with them.

[Allison Rosen]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that advice you're giving?

[Allison Rosen]

I never got to work with them. I only work with Mexicans and Jehovah's Witnesses.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And born again gang bangers and white guys. I never worked with a Jew or a black guy in all my construction career.

[Brian Bishop]

Really that's what all my jobs growing up were with Jews and black guys. It's actually kind of true. Like, I worked in a coverall. It was, like, called clean coverall. I guess they're still around. It was like a uniform company in which they rented out uniforms and those big industrial floor mats to industrial places, and we'd have to take them back and clean them. And I was the only white kid in the whole building. It's pretty cool.

[Allison Rosen]

The rest were Jews. All right, do you guys. I'll just go last. So I won't pick one because I'll let you guys pick and then I'll take whatever. Sloppy seconds. Oh, that's a good name for a movie. Oh. According to an ancient Mayan prophecy, in the year 2012, a hero would rise.

[Brian Bishop]

To turn your movie titles into blockbusters.

[Allison Rosen]

Glad it's not me. That hero is Adam Corolla. Boy, that could be me.

[Brian Bishop]

And this is made up movie.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, who's got something that's jumping out to.

[Brian Bishop]

I think, I think I like me day. I've never played this game before.

[Allison Rosen]

That's easy.

[Brian Bishop]

But I think. I think me day.

[Adam Carolla]

It's neither of those things.

[Brian Bishop]

Me day could be like a. It could be like liar, liar. Or one of these, you know, where it's a guy, Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey in his regular life, and he does everything for everybody else. He never takes any time for himself. So he blows out a candle on his birthday, and he gives one wish, which is, I hope to take some time for myself and do what I want with my life.

[Allison Rosen]

Let me cut you off Act 1. He walks into the crowded bank and everyone is stacking papers on him, like, as he's walking through the desk. Stanley, here's those briefs we talked about. Boom. And they pile and then another pile and then another pile so high he can't even see.

[Brian Bishop]

And then he trips, and then he.

[Allison Rosen]

Trips and he trips and they fall.

[Brian Bishop]

Off and everybody laughs at him.

[Allison Rosen]

And the hot chick with her hair in a bun and the glasses. Yeah. This music never stops playing. Never stops playing through the trailer throughout the whole movie. And they just keep piling papers on him and he gets nothing done. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And the hot chick is talking to the, like, smooth guy who has a briefcase and a little headset.

[Allison Rosen]

Al Baldwin, when he's doing that.

[Brian Bishop]

But the hot chick kind of likes him even from the beginning, but. But he doesn't. He's too insecure to even notice that she likes him.

[Adam Carolla]

Is she Emma Stone? Who is she?

[Brian Bishop]

Emma Stone? It's got to be. Someone's got to be Terry. What's her name? Terry Copley. What's a girl that's in Good enough. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And. And Terry who?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, but then here. But here's.

[Allison Rosen]

Here's, here's.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's what happens. Like, so then he starts doing everything for himself.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Well, no, no. Well, the bird, it comes. It comes to a head when it's his birthday.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And no one shows up. The phone doesn't ring. It's nothing. So it's very solemn after he's been.

[Brian Bishop]

He's gone to a birthday party every day for like the past six months.

[Allison Rosen]

One candle. One candle for him and his apartment. And maybe his cat as a little cat.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I think he's got a dog with the little wheelie thing on the back.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. It's always funny. Always funny when the dog's disabled, been crushed, and he blows out the one candle and he makes a wish and it's. Tomorrow is gonna be a me day. And that's it. And now he starts doing stuff for himself, right? Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And the first thing. The first thing he does is he goes out. The first thing he does is he goes out and he rapes a chick.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Brutally dry. Yeah, I like that.

[Brian Bishop]

And then he's like, oh, then he, like, has sex with some kids, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brian Bishop]

It's hilarious. It's doing bad things that you shouldn't do.

[Allison Rosen]

It ends with suicide by cop. I like that. That's awesome. It takes a turn. It takes a turn for the macabre, but I like it.

[Brian Bishop]

Me day.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, Allison, you see anything you like? Brian, you got something out there?

[Gina Grad]

Sure. How about from Bill Bilson? Up All Night. A night with a K, by the way. Night with a K. You know who's been away too long?

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, Night with a K. Up All Night.

[Gina Grad]

Dave Chappelle. This is Dave Chappelle's big comeback. He played an overnight disc jockey. Up All Night is the name of his show. It's the 2am to 4am shift.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

Up All Night Jimmy Knight in Cincinnati or Cleveland or something like that. Like somewhere in Cleveland. There.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. You're Up All Night with Jimmy Knight. He's a fast talking dj, and it's like, you know what it is? It's the black remake of Play Misty for Me, but a comical version. People are calling in. Someone calls in and predicts they're gonna commit a crime. And he's like, ah, go on with your bad self, or whatever black people say. And they do it. And it comes out that, oh, they confess their crime on the show. Now the police must bring him in.

[Allison Rosen]

Now he's gotta. He's got to have the funny. Eugene Levy has to be the producer bored OP guy who's always like asleep in the next room and gets waking up with the coffee spilled on him. You know, there's feet up in there. He's the sidekick who's always looking at him through the glass.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm gonna play the studio exec here in this moment. I'm gonna break in because I think that, you know, studio execs take everything very seriously. And everything it phases out of the.

[Allison Rosen]

Song'S playing the whole time.

[Brian Bishop]

And so the thing is gonna be, it says, up all night with a K. Where's the actual night? Like, is there some way we can work naturally?

[Gina Grad]

No, he was Jimmy Knight. That's a plane. You're up all night with Jimmy Knight.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Although, did you see that movie Night and Day? Yes, it was spelled with a K. There was no Knight in that movie, I don't think.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, was that really spelled night? Was it his last name?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, it's the last name. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it was. No, I don't think it was.

[Brian Bishop]

He could also have like an erection problem of some type.

[Allison Rosen]

I like, I like what you're working with here. I like Chappelle. I like him being Knight. I like him having that late night radio thing. And I also like the fact that everyone in town knows who he is.

[Gina Grad]

He calls his fans the night owls.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, the night owls.

[Adam Carolla]

And they say, who?

[Allison Rosen]

Who? Right. And they know, like when he walks, you know, when he gets a paper. Great show last night. Even though the paper guy has to get up at 4:30 in the morning and he signs off at 3:00am he's.

[Brian Bishop]

Unbelievably famous for a local radio.

[Allison Rosen]

Everyone knows who he is. He has high fives and everything.

[Adam Carolla]

His picture's probably on a bus.

[Allison Rosen]

On a bus. We have that thing where the bus goes by with him up on it. And anyone who's been in radio knows they never put your fucking picture on a bus. Oh, wait a minute. Maybe I've had that once. Not for that shift. By the way, that shift pays $35.

[Brian Bishop]

But he's famous.

[Allison Rosen]

But he's famous. Yeah, but what happens?

[Gina Grad]

Someone calls him and predicts they're gonna commit a crime. I'm gonna kill somebody. No, you're not gonna do that. And then next thing you know, the next day there's a murder on the news and it comes that the Cops. This guy confessed his crime in advance on the show. We gotta find this guy, right? A la Tom Lycus. That actually happened. And so they draw him in. They draw him in and the cops, you know, become like a cop, you know, fish out of water.

[Brian Bishop]

You're.

[Gina Grad]

You're with us. You're helping us solve the crimes.

[Allison Rosen]

Interesting. You know, Kevin and Bean actually did, like, a hoax murder or something like that. There was a whole story. They got probation and stuff for it. Really?

[Gina Grad]

I didn't know that.

[Allison Rosen]

Somebody go look it up. There was a. Somebody called. Somebody called in and said, like, I committed a murder, but I won't say anything else about. And they like. But they somehow. It was a joke, but they got busted for it. And then they got like 300 hours of community service each or something like that.

[Brian Bishop]

Did they learn their lesson? Because that's really the important thing.

[Allison Rosen]

I talked to Bean yesterday, and he said absolutely not.

[Brian Bishop]

He doesn't care. Yeah, he didn't care. He just learns.

[Allison Rosen]

He likes community service.

[Brian Bishop]

It made him feel good.

[Allison Rosen]

$12,170. 1991. Is that it?

[Adam Carolla]

That's 1991 money.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, Claudia Puig, is that. Remember her? She's the one who used to like me, right? Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

No idea who the name is.

[Adam Carolla]

She's a Time staff writer in 91. She was.

[Allison Rosen]

She.

[Brian Bishop]

I think you need to Google+.

[Allison Rosen]

She was one of my biggest fans, I think, and I think I did something with her. All right, anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, what?

[Allison Rosen]

Up all night, 69. We'll figure it out.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, there she is.

[Allison Rosen]

We'll find that article. I think I did that Skirball center like, thing with her. That was somebody else.

[Gina Grad]

That was Megan Dom.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, Megan Dom. Yeah. All right.

[Gina Grad]

Time's writer, though.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Either way. Oh, yeah, this one probably hates me. All right, I'm going to go with Zero Visibility. This is a thriller. Zero visibility is a couple okay, airline pilots. Okay, this one's kind of on the nose. One of them Sully Sullenberger type, due to retire the next day, going in zero visibility on instruments. Instruments are malfunctioning. Moonless night, snowstorm, 300 people and a jumbo liner. And the whole movie is the descent. The whole movie is the actual descent. But we keep jumping back and forth. We go to him with his family. We go to him meeting his wife. We start seeing his whole life. And then it's back to the. Never show it on a plane each time. Right, Good point. The whole point is they begin the initial descent. And I like when they say final in front of dissent. Like somebody tweeted me, like really? Is there another one to look forward after this? After. Once we get to the Cinnabon and will be another descent. But the final. So it starts with that and it just keeps going. We jump back to him and his wife.

[Gina Grad]

The whole story's in flashback.

[Allison Rosen]

The whole story's in flashback with him and his co pilot. But it's zero visibility.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, so it's. Wait, it's a. It is it what kind of. Is it a. An Air force thing or is it an actual commercial? Oh, so we get to know that. We get to know the people and.

[Allison Rosen]

We get to hear the stories of the everybody or not all 300, but maybe 275.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, a few of them. Yeah, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

On the plane. And so on the plane we have the pregnant wife. Right. Who's going to see the in laws for the first time and her story. And the two pilots. It's everybody's story. On the final.

[Gina Grad]

Can we get John Hamm in the cockpit?

[Allison Rosen]

Hammy's in the cockpit.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, he could be on there. We have a retarded kid. He's co p. Who have to fly the plane because somebody passes out.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. No. And he's played so many video games.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

He's played so many video games.

[Allison Rosen]

The only one who can actually time.

[Brian Bishop]

Everybody's telling him you're retarded, you're worthless. Like that's what the people on the plane are saying.

[Allison Rosen]

He's the only one who can handle a yoke because he's been working that fucking video game so long.

[Brian Bishop]

You know this PS2, the whole. The little PSP the whole time. The plane.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And it's actually.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, but the whole story is like the final 20 minute descent and the zero visibility and then the flashback to all the stories of everyone that's on that plane.

[Adam Carolla]

Do they make it or no, we don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

There's gotta be.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it's a real Thelma and Louise kind of thing.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I'm not gonna.

[Brian Bishop]

And there's gotta be somebody who's a bad guy. So we have to have somebody who doesn't like. Yeah, could be a creature. Could be something on the plane that's trying to stop them. I like, I like the retarded evil twin.

[Allison Rosen]

I like the voice. Dutton, the rock set actors name.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, Charles S. Dutton.

[Allison Rosen]

Charles S. Dutton. He is the grizzled air traffic controller. Yeah, this was up in there. And he's. He's talking the whole time to him. I got a Fan, too. Yeah. I'm going home to see my kids, and so are you. You know, it's all that good, positive.

[Gina Grad]

This is man versus nature. There's no bad guy on the plane. This is man versus nature.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. No bad guy.

[Gina Grad]

Zero visibility, for God's sake.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

There's always a bad guy.

[Allison Rosen]

There is always.

[Brian Bishop]

There's somebody who doesn't want that plane to land. There's gotta be. Well, you know, it could be somebody. No, no, I know what it is. Somebody on. In ground, you know, ground control, who just thinks of everything in the wrong way for money.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, incompetent.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, really incompetent. But because it, like, is bad publicity or something like that. So he disagrees with Charles S. Dutton over everything.

[Allison Rosen]

He's the Paul Reiser character from Aliens.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, exactly.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Zero visibility.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow. So lame of you. All right. There you go, Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I can't. It's hard for the carpenter's bag to follow that. But a carpenter is an architect's handmaiden, first of all. All right, so it's a carpenter. I mean, I was gonna cast Jon Hamm as a carpenter.

[Allison Rosen]

The carpenter's bag.

[Adam Carolla]

Not.

[Allison Rosen]

That's. What's the name of your.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the carpenter's bag.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the name of your.

[Adam Carolla]

You've read the script.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So Jon Hamm, if he's not shooting zero visibility after.

[Brian Bishop]

After.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's a carpenter, and he is having a midlife crisis, and he's tired of doing all the things that carpenters do. You guys can fill in the blanks. Meanwhile, he has a daughter who's in fashion school. She's designing handbags, and it's sort of a Freaky Friday kind of thing. They don't understand each other. She doesn't understand why he'd want to work with architects and evil architects and people that swing hammers. And he doesn't understand why she'd want to just do something that to him seems frivolous. Because he is, you know, he wants structures and edifices and things that can shelter you, not things to hold your tampons and your small dog.

[Allison Rosen]

Right. I thought you Your held your tampon.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's the. That.

[Allison Rosen]

That's like an ashtray for a tampon, isn't it?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know about this musical selection. I don't think the other ones felt so appropriate.

[Adam Carolla]

The tampon is truly the amphibian of the female sanitary protection world because it stays in an applicator in a wrapper and also in your.

[Allison Rosen]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

And then into the toilet and then starts all over again. That's what this should be about. So anyway, they switch places and all of a sudden he has to design handbags. And he's like trying to do that with his carpenter bag. And then she, all of a sudden, I mean, she's a kid practically and she has to do what carpenters do.

[Allison Rosen]

Mm. She can't figure it out.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

What about if she builds a building that then kill a bunch of. Of innocent people?

[Allison Rosen]

Does that fit in? See, James, you're always going with that sort of dark video game cheerleader. I feel like that would be.

[Brian Bishop]

I know. That's the twist.

[Allison Rosen]

This Freaky Friday. Freaky Friday, Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

They learn a lesson at the end.

[Allison Rosen]

They learn a lesson, do what each other do.

[Brian Bishop]

But the way she learns that she can't do what her father does is by killing a bunch of people.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, first off, we got a great building montage in here where she's trying to nail stuff and it's falling down. And you know, she does.

[Adam Carolla]

She's like jimmying it with some kind of handbag or something.

[Allison Rosen]

She does that move where she fires up the belt sander and puts it down on the piece of wood and piece of wood goes shooting out.

[Adam Carolla]

Then the guy, she pulls the safety goggles down and she doesn't like them so she puts like a bunch of like Givenchy GS on them or something.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Can there be a long suffering assistant maybe of Hispanic descent who just puts up with her stuff? Because he's very sweet and very nice, but his car is the one that keeps getting destroyed by all the wood and all the everything who plays him.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Well, that's good. Oh, there's only one guy that can play that Chewie from Chelsea.

[Brian Bishop]

Louise Guzman.

[Allison Rosen]

Luis Guzman. He's the only guy who can play that. I once introduced Luis Guzman to my buddy Ozzy and said like, look out, there's a new Mexican dwarf fat sheriff in town. And he's like, he didn't think it was funny at all.

[Brian Bishop]

Louise Guzman didn't.

[Allison Rosen]

Did not think it was all.

[Brian Bishop]

He just gets that. Didn't really use the word dwarf.

[Allison Rosen]

I didn't use the word. I introduced Louis Guzman to Ozzy and I was like, this is. Come on. You know? And he was like, didn't think it was funny. Just ran into him at a club in San Diego. Ozzy was with me for some reason. We were doing a lot of coke back then. Right. Now talk about it. Anyway, the Carpenter's bag. Coming to a theater near you, I worked with a dude who made bags. Tool bags or a big fat belt with three bags, usually. And usually a hanger for your framing hammer in the back, but just sort of three bags, usually. And one of the bags was a Gucci bag. And I said to the guy, where the fuck did you get that? And he said, I made it. He said he was working for some rich chick. It was like throwing out a big Gucci bag.

[Adam Carolla]

This is based on a true story then.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And he sewed it and cut it and did, like, his, you know, leather working skills and stuff. And he made a Gucci bag for his tool bags, which I was.

[Adam Carolla]

Was he mocked for that?

[Allison Rosen]

No. It was impressive.

[Brian Bishop]

It's almost sort of ballsy in a way. Yeah, I kind of like it. It is sort of.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to be confident to do that.

[Brian Bishop]

It's tough.

[Allison Rosen]

Plus, his name was Russ and he was 6 4, and he fucking lived in Topanga and made his own recumbent bikes with a tig welder. So it wasn't like you're gonna go up and find.

[Brian Bishop]

That's like a bunch of. Bunch of macho things.

[Allison Rosen]

Except for the.

[Brian Bishop]

Except for the Topanga part.

[Adam Carolla]

The rest of the recumbent bike. Actually, a real man does not put his feet above his head.

[Allison Rosen]

There's gay Topanga behind his ears to ride his bike. No, there's gay Topanga and then there's fucking Jeremiah Johnson Topanga. Man in the wilderness.

[Brian Bishop]

I think of those guys as, like, hippie topanga.

[Allison Rosen]

This is mid-80s, though. Fucking guys who just didn't enjoy the law. There's the survivalist Unabomber Topanga.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's cool. Like, that's. Those are. That's. Those are the cool Topangas.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, that. This is 20 years ago, Topanga. Like, I'm living in a cabin and burning wood, hunting. Like, it was weird. It was rural and weird. All right, shall we do a little news? By the way, do we have an outro? What do we got here? Oh, an outro, too. Look at it. Oops.

[Gina Grad]

That's the wrong one.

[Brian Bishop]

Adam Corolla will return in Made Up Movie Part two.

[Allison Rosen]

Hold on. A couple quick questions to blow through, and then we'll get to the news. Hey, Adrian. Yeah? Your question is. Thank you, buddy. You want to know whatever happened to Ask Kiss Rodeo, Adrian? So fucking weird, isn't it? What is that? Are you there, Adrian? Yeah. We used to play a game on the radio called Ask Kiss Rodeo. People just went, as long as they could kissing my ass. It felt really nice. Yeah. I can't remember how I used to try to throw them off, but probably.

[Adam Carolla]

I think you'd be like, there's a boil on my ass. And they'd be like, I don't like.

[Gina Grad]

That would be crazy stuff.

[Allison Rosen]

Mike would. Mike. How'd I try to toss him off? We'd had. While you're talking to the still reigning.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Staff, ask his rodeo champion.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, okay.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I retain the belt.

[Allison Rosen]

No, it would be like, oh, man, I love pizza. Oh, yeah, boss.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah, of course you love pizza. Everybody loves.

[Allison Rosen]

And then you go, you know what? Actually, it's not so good for me.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Oh, of course it is.

[Allison Rosen]

Why would you. You can't put that kind of stuff in your box. You know, you had to ride the bull. The wavering. You want to try a little of it?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Sure.

[Allison Rosen]

Man. I could go for some tiramisu. Yeah, well, you deserve it, boss. Yeah, that's a good dessert there. Yeah.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Italian like you.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Yeah, the consistency is kind of weird.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah, you don't need that. You're so lean. You don't want to put that kind.

[Allison Rosen]

Of sugar in there. Gelatinous, you know? Yeah, it's weird. It just doesn't. It's not firm enough. You know what I mean? Yeah. Not like you. You don't want to ruin that physique. I don't like a lot of new bands. I don't like many new bands.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You don't need to.

[Allison Rosen]

They're classic. Like, you're classic. I like the Killers, though. That's a good band. Well, you know, your taste is impeccable.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

And there's an exception to every rule.

[Allison Rosen]

And that's one of them. Yeah. Yeah. And the guy from the Killers is hot.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Well, he is, but not comparison to you.

[Allison Rosen]

See, that's how you do it.

[Gina Grad]

That's what you're up against, kids.

[Allison Rosen]

And we'd have celebrity ask us rodeo, too. I think we're. We got celebrities. Jeff Probst was. Jeff Probst did very nicely. Yeah, he was reigning champion celebrity department.

[Gina Grad]

I have an outro.

[Allison Rosen]

Adam, no matter what you say, I agree. Everything you do is genius. Yeah, I think we'd play the cowbell and stuff like that. All right, we'll get back to some ass kiss rodeo if you guys want to play along. Hey, Jay from Massachusetts. Perfect. Jay. Yeah. Why? Why? Why is it that you have to. All right. What's up? Jay? Jay. Yeah, I'm here. Okay. Please talk.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm talking. I'm talking. Yeah, I just said yeah, listen, I'm not trying to play Ask Kiss Radio, but.

[Allison Rosen]

I actually was listening to your.

[Brian Bishop]

Book on a run around this time.

[Allison Rosen]

Last year and my wife had just.

[Brian Bishop]

Moved out and it was just me and my two boys kind of wondering.

[Allison Rosen]

How I was going to get through.

[Brian Bishop]

It, you know, provide for them and everything. You were talking about change how, you know, it's really tough at the beginning and then like you get a little.

[Allison Rosen]

Perspective six months from now. It's not that bad.

[Brian Bishop]

And I just wanted to say thank you. It really was something I needed to.

[Allison Rosen]

Hear at that time and it helped me out a lot. Why? Why did your wife move out and then where did she go and why did she just leave you with the boys to raise?

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, she's not out of their life. She moved about 35 miles away.

[Allison Rosen]

She said that, you know, I was very negative, but I worked full time. I went to school part time.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you know, I took the kids.

[Allison Rosen]

To their soccer and coach soccer and their Boy Scouts and all that. And she just kind of worked three.

[Brian Bishop]

Days a week and spent a lot of money.

[Allison Rosen]

So I think. So what would you do? You'd go for jogs and listen to the last audiobook? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've found. I mean, you know, nothing wrong with therapy, but when you're in a bad way or not just physical movement, like just going for walks, going for jogs.

[Brian Bishop]

Like sort of, it's the best. Supposedly. There's a lot of tests that show one of the best things you can do for yourself to just kind of remain in a good mood is exercise for like 20 minutes a day and.

[Allison Rosen]

Versus running on a treadmill in a basement and staring at CNN on an 8 inch plasma screen like, get the fuck out and just go hike that.

[Brian Bishop]

Being outside, being outside. And that helps. But even just exercising does help your mood for sure.

[Allison Rosen]

For sure. Breaking a sweat. I'm just saying, like I've done the thing where I've put in the earbuds and I've put in the audio book and I've just gone on big long walks through cities or jogs or up trails or something and it's like it's almost impossible to be in a shitty mood while you're in the midst of that activity because you're listening and you're moving at the same time. And I agree. And the problem is when people get depressed, they just start eating donuts and.

[Brian Bishop]

Watching more tv, drinking more.

[Allison Rosen]

And you really have to force yourself just to get out and physically move. It's like it's it's really hard to be depressed while you're moving.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, there's like five. The things to do to not be depressed are so simple. They're just like five or six really simple things. I mean, this isn't obviously for people that have true, like, you know, heavy depression, but for normal guys who get depressed or people who get depressed, it's. There's like, you know, exercise, talk to somebody, have a discussion with a friend, go outside, go for a walk, listen.

[Allison Rosen]

To Adam Kroll this audiobook. Yeah, that's pretty much what I did. Yeah. Hey, buddy. He's a little bit down in the face, but he's not down in the junk. His name's Jade. He can't hear me right now because he's got the ace man's audiobook pumping through his ears right now. Jade stage four. J4 Jade. Yeah. All right. Did you get the new audiobook?

[Brian Bishop]

No, I'm actually going to download it tomorrow. You're headed for a deep depression.

[Allison Rosen]

I pulled you out of that fucking funk, that mire of a life, and you don't even get the new goddamn book. It's been out a whole two weeks.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I know. I have to pay about a grand a month in alimony, so money gets.

[Allison Rosen]

A little tight after the paycheck. You sick of me, Jay? A pox on you. All right, thanks, buddy. Keep moving, baby. Keep jogging. And you know what? Jokes on. I'd say jokes on her because a 36 year old dude, two boys. By the way, not baggage for chicks. I think they kind of even like it. We do the right chicks, you know what I mean? Not a strike. I really don't. I really don't think so. They will watch you interact with those boys and if you do a good job interacting with those boys, they. That will be a definite turn on.

[Brian Bishop]

That's why I rent those suckers when I go to the park.

[Allison Rosen]

Like that Sandler movie, get a couple. Is that what he does? Oh, yeah. He's got a movie.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

No, he had a movie boy. He had. He's trying to get the hot blanche Jennifer Aniston needed to use Jennifer. Switch around movies. Yeah, it comes out. It was like seven a year.

[Brian Bishop]

Jennifer Aniston, Adam Sandler were in a movie together.

[Gina Grad]

Something's gotta give.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, sounds like heaven on earth.

[Allison Rosen]

No, that's not, it's not that one. It's, it's. It's just.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the arrangement.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's like. Yeah, it's pre arranged. Whatever. Well, it'll Michael Throw it on the screen. All right. News.

[Brian Bishop]

The News with Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Just go with it. Let's read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison. Allison. And when it's time to wrap it.

[Brian Bishop]

Up, she'll sign it off with Zip it, cunt.

[Allison Rosen]

It's Allison. Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

So get this Rudy Eugene guy who was eating the homeless man's face in Florida. Everyone said he was on bath salts. Even my beloved Dr. Drew said that he thought this was bath salts. Because everyone thinks that bath salts create this crazy cannibalistic behavior.

[Allison Rosen]

Turns out, shower pepper. The exact opposite. The arch nemesis of Bass salt.

[Adam Carolla]

It was Sitz bath garlic salt.

[Allison Rosen]

What the hell?

[Adam Carolla]

No. Turns out the medical examiner's report came out. The only thing they found in his system was marijuana. He had crazy munchies.

[Brian Bishop]

Everybody that does that, everybody that smokes weed eats a lot of face.

[Allison Rosen]

Aren't black guys born with marijuana in their system? No, I mean, that's not a racist thing. But I'm just saying. I'm just asking, right? I'm just asking.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you're just asking the question. That's a fair question.

[Allison Rosen]

That's a fair question.

[Adam Carolla]

He may have been.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, wow. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And his wife said she'd only seen him smoke marijuana once. His wife, with whom they read the Bible and they also read the Koran and they watched religious movies. She didn't see the signs of the cannibals.

[Brian Bishop]

I've done a lot of drugs. I don't think there's any time I've ever even had an inkling of wanting to eat somebody's face.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the argument that I would make about all this.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a crazy person.

[Allison Rosen]

Even if it's massive bath salts, it's.

[Brian Bishop]

Still fueling some incredibly crazy things.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know that you can blame all this super aberrant behavior on a drug.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, no, you can't, because then how would you explain the millions of people that smoke whatever or snort whatever on a daily basis that don't eat anyone's face off? Getting back to the aforementioned video games. What the fuck are you supposed to do with the video games? Like, people go, video games cause violence. Well, how many people watch video games, play video games that don't cause violence? So how can there be a connection? The other part is the thing with the wife not knowing what the guy's up to.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

This is a tr. You know, there are guys that are serial killers that are married, and the wife never well, that's like, evidently the wife. Wives are pretty tuned out.

[Brian Bishop]

I just had a guy I used to work with who got thrown into jail for molesting his wife's or his girlfriend's kid. Like, and she, like, you know, spoke on his behalf in the court. Disgusting. It's like evil, right? But I mean, every time you hear about any guy doing any sort of criminal activity or molesting somebody or killing somebody, the wife always has some sort of crazy denial up.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like, if you're gonna stay in love with someone and be with them, then you've made this decision, even if you're not aware of it, to just rationalize that craziness, or else you would have been out of there.

[Allison Rosen]

James would be more pissed at the guy if it wasn't the inspiration for his next video game. Yeah, that thing of, you know, as soon as I heard about my wife doing whatever, blowing my best friend or trying to diddle one of my kids or doing what, you know, putting a cigarette out on my son, it'd be game off. Yeah, I could get over there. You know what I mean? I feel like we met as adults. We have an agreement not to put cigarettes out on each other.

[Brian Bishop]

But I think what happens is people, you know, they meet somebody, they like, they notice something a little weird about them, so they ignore it. Then they notice something a little more weird, and they ignore that. And it almost becomes like this crazy psychological thing where they just ignore everything about that person, which is out of, you know, the bounds of what somebody considers normal.

[Adam Carolla]

And then it's like frog in the boiling water, I think, where each time the level of what they are accepting is just the stakes are raised so that all of a sudden the things that initially. Or what they think was weird, what.

[Brian Bishop]

They think is normal, you know, I mean.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, also, let's not discount how stupid people are and how numb people are. That's also true. I mean, half the people I used to talk to on Loveline had the low battery smoke detector chirp going every 31 seconds in the room that was their bedroom. And it had been that way for nine months. And they moved in their apartment, and they would go to bed every night with the thing chirping every 30 seconds. They're reptilian in their ability to tune things out.

[Brian Bishop]

And they wonder why their penises are sore when they've been masturbating with the rusty wire up their urethra.

[Allison Rosen]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that in your movie?

[Brian Bishop]

That's on Loveline.

[Allison Rosen]

That's Why? There were so many pages. Sorry, where were you?

[Adam Carolla]

I have a chirp question. Okay, I am hearing a chirp, but I hear it like once every two weeks. Is it possibly coming from my smoke detector or am I hearing it from someone else's house or something?

[Allison Rosen]

That's not yours if yours is chirping. I worked it out and there's that. The Underwriters Laboratories, whatever that is. I figured it out from Loveline that it was between like 28 and 33 seconds. Like that would be the underwriter's laboratory. The UL listing. Yeah, the UL listing of what? You know, you couldn't say. Well, the low battery chirp can happen every 10 hours because that wouldn't be acceptable to the federal government. But it couldn't be. It didn't have to be every two seconds because that would send people into an epileptic seizure. And somehow they figured on about 30 seconds because I used to time them all the time on my digital clock that was in front of me when I did Lovelines. And it would always be somewhere between 28 and 33. So it must be 30 seconds. And so if it's chirping every 30, every 30 seconds, that's 9 volt on the smoke detector.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Roseanne Barr will be the recipient of a Comedy Central roast. The next one they're doing will be. They're roasting Roseanne Barr and Jane lynch is going to emcee.

[Allison Rosen]

It should be good.

[Brian Bishop]

She's funny as shit.

[Allison Rosen]

Nah, I don't think she's that funny. That's me. I'm just a dick. Wait, how about Jane?

[Adam Carolla]

Jane lynch, who was in your movie?

[Allison Rosen]

Jane Lynch?

[Brian Bishop]

I think Jane lynch is funny.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, lynch is funny. Yeah. I don't think Roseanne Barr.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, no, no, no. I don't think Roseanne Barr. I never thought Roseanne Barr, right place.

[Allison Rosen]

Right time with her.

[Brian Bishop]

I really do, you know, and she had good writers on her show, so she had like some good stuff done on show.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't think she's a stand up.

[Brian Bishop]

I never liked her.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't think she's an untalented person. I just think the reason there's, I, I have said, and I've been pretty good about this, the you're not going to hear from this person again, even though they will try to do things. Roseanne Barr, when she left tv was one of those, you're not going to hear from this person again because she's not a particularly funny person. She was right time, right place, all the domestic goddess stuff. And it was just right and that real sitcom and everything. Just the right. Just the right pitch for what we needed to do. Battle with the. Or coming off the Cosbys or whatever it was, and good writers and good everything. But she herself, I don't think is amazingly funny.

[Brian Bishop]

Isn't she also, And I don't know the exact term, but completely fucking crazy.

[Allison Rosen]

Doesn't that.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, that's, you know, that's part of it. Some of these people are just so crazy, and then all of a sudden they start to have a little bit of a comeback. And then people assume because they're having a little bit of a comeback, they aren't crazy anymore, but in fact, they're still just as nuts as they are.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. And I used to hear stories of her and her staff and the writers and her and Tom. Like, I mean, she. She's fucking. I mean, there's nothing worse than Roseanne Barr getting super rich and having a ton of juice and you being. You know. Anyway, I talk about her a lot.

[Brian Bishop]

Though, because when my friends, whenever we play this game of what would you do for like a million dollars? Or what would, you know, Would you rather Roseanne Barr. Like, eating Roseanne Barr's pussy is a lot of times one of the things like that we don't want to really have to do or having anal sex with Roseanne Barr.

[Allison Rosen]

Like, that's.

[Brian Bishop]

It's kind of used as, like, the bad sexual.

[Adam Carolla]

What if you were choosing between those.

[Brian Bishop]

Two, between eating Roseanne Barr's pussy and having anal sex with Roseanne Barr? I wouldn't be able to maintain an erection while having anal sex with Roseanne Barr. So I would have to eat her pussy.

[Allison Rosen]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a lot of integrity in that answer.

[Allison Rosen]

Would you have to be on the bath salts or just weed if you ate her pussy? And let me say this. I would eat her pussy as a conversation piece. You would, you know, just for the.

[Adam Carolla]

Hell of it, like, guess where I was. Like, you have a good answer. When someone says, how was your night?

[Allison Rosen]

There's certain things. Yeah, there's certain things in life. Well, you know, say, guess where my mouth was earlier today. You know, Roseanne bars. I give you four guesses. Okay, five. I'm feeling fucking generous, but not 10. No, I'm just saying, like, there's certain things in life, like, you know, I got arrested once because I had too many warrants and I was riding my motorcycle and blah, blah, blah. It's all in the book. But I'm not happy. I wasn't happy at the time I got arrested. Now, it's a funny story. It's a conversation piece. When someone says, who here's been arrested? I can go, I got arrested. Not for anything real, just a bunch of warrants and my motorcycle. But this would be one of those funny conversation pieces. You know, it's like breaking a bone, playing sports. It's kind of funny later on in life when you're talking about it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but it'd be funny if you sucked off a tranny too.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, yeah, I've done that. I mean, I could do. I mean, why not? Who are you talking to? If you're talking to fucking Mike, I gotta tell you, between Mike Lynch a fucking liar, by the way, there's a lot of shit in that book that I was fucking talking about that didn't make the cut. And he fucking knew I was just fucking having a laugh and I was pulling his chain. And the joke's on you, Mike, because you believed it.

[Brian Bishop]

Between sucking the dick.

[Allison Rosen]

Look at those fucking pages.

[Brian Bishop]

Between sucking the dick of the best looking, most beautiful woman, like, man. And eating Roseanne Barr's pussy. I'd have a hard. I'd have a hard choice.

[Allison Rosen]

I'd have a hard choice. I got a laminate in my wallet next to. It's got the tipping chart on the other side of it. I gotta look this one up. Yeah, let's see. So I'm just glad there's another human being that doesn't think Roseanne Barr's that funny. Because every time I bring her up is. I don't. And I don't think she's funny at all. I've done it with a lot of. I did it with Pauly Shore way back in the day. Like, way back. And everyone's like, huh, he's funny. And I did it with Tom Green, sort of more recent, like 15 years ago. And everyone was like, what? He's funny? I was like, no, no, he's not.

[Brian Bishop]

I agree with all of us.

[Allison Rosen]

I said Roseanne Barr and everyone always comes back. Are you fucking kidding? Her stand up was killer. I think if you went back and watched it, it doesn't hold up that well.

[Brian Bishop]

I think I didn't like her personality. Also, there's something about the way she irritated me.

[Allison Rosen]

Being a screaming C doesn't win over to James Gunn's in the world. So who. What tranny am I blowing?

[Adam Carolla]

The most beautiful one ever.

[Allison Rosen]

Cock Beautiful. Most beautiful tranny in the world with a very. Eats It Sizzler. Hangs out on Santa Monica, wears too much White diamonds. The most beautiful tranny in the world. You see Anson Williams singing that one?

[Brian Bishop]

Anson Williams, the most beautiful in the tranny has a very small vagina like penis.

[Allison Rosen]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, how is that even.

[Brian Bishop]

Eat Roseanne Barr's pussy. And now take aside the plot that you're gonna get for eating Roseanne Barr's pussy. You can never tell anybody about eating.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, my God. It's like.

[Brian Bishop]

Which is really the worst thing to do.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, if grandpa can't tell his grandkids that story, then I'm sucking off the tranny eating Roseanne's pussy. That's just a good fucking cocktail story. Part of the.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

What's a small vagina like? Penis.

[Brian Bishop]

That's something I just made up.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Incredibly vagina.

[Adam Carolla]

Just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing out.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Whatever you can see in this world.

[Brian Bishop]

Whatever the most vagina y penis that exists could be, that's what the penis is.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll go on that journey.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

World's worst appetizer, by the way, if you're ever at a cocktail party.

[Adam Carolla]

So anyway, this roast tapes on August 4th and will air on August 12th. There is a company that is selling what they're calling anti cheating rings for dudes. Or I suppose for women too, but more for guys. And they're rings. And on the inside, there's like reverse graving engraving. Sorry, reverse engraving that say married, so that if the guy takes the ring off, imprinted in his skin is the word married or just a weird indentation that you have to get really close to to see. That says married.

[Allison Rosen]

Right? That lasts for like three seconds.

[Brian Bishop]

That's ridiculous.

[Adam Carolla]

Look who seems to know.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, well, I wear rings all the time. I know how long, you know, a ring imprint lasts.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, set himself in a brilliant pad. Take that right out.

[Adam Carolla]

What if it has words in it, though?

[Allison Rosen]

Mm, well, yeah, that's just a novelty.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a $550 novelty.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, here's the thing. The guys who get this are the guys who aren't cheating, who want to. You know, this is basically you just.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Blowing. This is being pee weed right here.

[Brian Bishop]

They also are very knowledgeable in the fact that no dude has ever cheated on his wife while wearing a wedding ring. It's just like, guys only cheat when they're pretending as if they're not married.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Like you can take your ring off, put your fucking hand in your pocket and all and all that good stuff and that thing could easily. Now listen, if you want to get if you want to have a company that has like a cattle iron, branding iron, you know, that gets to put it in the nut sack or the back rear cheek of the dude that I'll sign off on because that says that's a big keloid scarf married on your ass cheek or something, that's one thing. But this can easily be just wiped down.

[Brian Bishop]

I had a friend in college who used to wear a wedding ring to go out to pick up girls. He was totally, like, he was a few years older than me, but he was like, that's what he did. That's how he got more women that way. He already thought he did.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I feel like a lot of the cheating that happens does not involve the guy hiding the fact that he's married.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Cause you just had to give the sob story about like, oh, you know, I don't know when she and I got disconnected, but we don't sleep together anymore.

[Allison Rosen]

Did he have a rap worked out? Like, when they'd go like, what's your wife's name? Would he be like, who? Oh, Roseanne. Roseanne.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't remember much about him. His name was Phil. He lived on a boat, and he wore a wedding ring to pick up women. What a clutch. And he was 27 and hanging out with me when I was 18 years old. So there's something wrong. Wrong with them.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't. Phil with an F, by the way. I think cheating is going to be on the decline because of all this social media shit going on. And it's impossible. It's certainly impossible for a celebrity to cheat. There's nobody that could be recognizable who can cheat. And not only cheating, but. But if you. Let's say back in the day. Back in the day, if you just were the man. Let's say you're a 40 year old dude and you manage the TGI Fridays in Canoga park, and you got a wife and a few kids in your home and they live in Chatsworth. But occasionally you fuck a hostess who's a college student over at Northridge. You could do that. It's tough now because that chick's got like a Twitter account and a Facebook thing and she's going to have a fucking wine cooler and a half and. And she's going to fall in love with you and then get pissed off and then get on her fucking Twitter after a couple of wine coolers and fucking start talking shit or send an instant message or something over to the wife. Whatever's Going on, someone's going to record something, somebody's going to film something. Like a dude back in the day, an athlete, a celebrity guy could be traveling. Guy could go to a fucking strip club on the road. Could an athlete go into a club or a strip club and start fucking going to the Champagne Room with a chick without some dude holding up his fucking cell phone?

[Brian Bishop]

But here's the problem, though. It's easier to get caught, but it's also a thousand times easier to get laid because social networking makes every hot girl available to you instantly. If you're a celebrity on Twitter, it's just so incredibly easy to get lame.

[Allison Rosen]

I just, I feel like there's a camera everywhere now and there's somebody talking about you everywhere, and there's nothing.

[Brian Bishop]

But we're dudes. Like that's blanked out in us while we're in the act of trying to get laid. It doesn't happen until after the fact that we even worry about.

[Allison Rosen]

I was in a restaurant yesterday with my friend Kevin Hench, complaining about the fucking God awful peach flavored passion fruit iced tea that this one place, Jinkies just. It's the only thing they. The only thing they offer. And me and Kevin Hench obviously gave her the speech of, you've destroyed the Arnold Palmer as well as iced tea. And then I said, who's the idiot who came up with this? And the woman who I was talking to said, me, because she managed a place. I said, this is uncomfortable. But I said, you have a horrible product and nobody fucking likes it. And could you brew us regular Lipton iced tea? Like hot iced tea, so we can both drink iced tea and we'll put it over ice. And she was nice enough to do it for us. And then when I got home, I went on Twitter and some guy was like, I heard Adam Carolla over at Jinkies, he was whining about passion fruit. He's doing this whole thing about passion fruit and peach flavored, by the way, Jinky's has taken it to a new level of shit because they took the passion fruit iced tea, which is fucking bad enough, and then they mixed peach into it and turned it into just a shitty fucking potpourri candle of fucking tasteless nothingness. And don't even offer regular iced tea as an alternative to their iced tea. But either way, heard me, fucking cheese.

[Adam Carolla]

Is a terrible name.

[Allison Rosen]

Fuck that place. Everything's good. And she made it.

[Brian Bishop]

I made some pretty good red velvet pancakes.

[Allison Rosen]

A place across the street from Radford, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

And she Made us our iced tea and it was fine. But the point is, someone behind me heard me fucking complaining about it. And if I was gonna cheat, it's impossible because Adam Caroll can't hook up with some chick and go, let's have some lunch and then let's go out or whatever because somebody's gonna fucking tweet as Adam Carollo was sitting with some blonde at the Blah blah blah, complaining loudly about the red velvet pancakes. I mean, I would probably, if I was cheating, I would probably ratchet down the complaining about the iced tea.

[Adam Carolla]

You'd order it actually, just to throw.

[Brian Bishop]

Them off the trail. You'd drink it.

[Adam Carolla]

Have a hazelnut coffee, please.

[Allison Rosen]

This is a delightful beverage.

[Brian Bishop]

May I have please drink in that?

[Allison Rosen]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

What kind of cake do you have?

[Gina Grad]

Looks just like the Yeastman.

[Allison Rosen]

Mike Lynch. Remind me to take you over to fucking Jinkies just so I can do 45 fucking minutes on how goddamn horrible the fucking iced tea is and why they don't fucking have regular iced tea. Not at all. They don't offer it. They don't offer iced tea in the spot where it says iced tea on the menu. Alright, fuck it. Well, this happened.

[Adam Carolla]

This happened recently on a plane. This guy, and I'm. I think he was an actor. Something where he had a little bit of fame. Was he married? But was hitting on this woman who I believe was a model. And she tweeted about it because she saw that he was married. And then he had. He denied it. It was like crazy.

[Allison Rosen]

People do the craziest thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, who was it? That's interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't have it in front of me, but it was in the news.

[Allison Rosen]

If the chick's hot, then it's always like, oh, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

And she was. Yeah, it was totally.

[Allison Rosen]

No one ever believes, especially when you're sitting on a plane drinking.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, here we go.

[Brian Bishop]

It's got to be true.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, scroll up a little bit. Model Melissa Stetten uses Twitter to humiliate married actor who hit on her. And his name is Brian Presley, I believe.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, the famous Brian Presley.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, world famous Brian Presley.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know, but his ear to face ratio is a little off.

[Allison Rosen]

I was gonna put him in that movie Snowblind or whatever is a. Dillon. Listen, first off, what? Use the programmer. Let me see the name of this cunt over here who calls herself a model, by the way. And just because you're skinny and have no personality doesn't make you a model.

[Adam Carolla]

I like her. She wins in this.

[Allison Rosen]

No, that's one of her Tweets, though. Whoa, whoa.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't think.

[Allison Rosen]

I think it's cool, too.

[Adam Carolla]

First of all, she was mocking him.

[Brian Bishop]

That girl's hot. First of all. Secondly, in a suicide girl scene. Yeah, Somebody. He's coming onto her. He's married, and she tweets it. I think that's cool.

[Adam Carolla]

No, thanks. Brian, the actor sitting next to me on this flight talking about his role with Kurt Russell and his spiritual beliefs. Brian, wait. Am I. Should I read from the bottom up?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Brian likes going back home to Oklahoma to inspire the less fortunate to become artists like himself. Brian just took his Heineken in a plastic cup into the bathroom. We'll report back shortly. Brian said he was engaged to another actress, but it didn't work out because they didn't mesh well together. Did I just ruin Brian Presley's life via Twitter? Did she write about him hitting on her, though? She gave him.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't see that because that's like.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe he got taken down.

[Brian Bishop]

If she's just making fun of him for being a douchebag, then I don't think it's cool. But if he hit on her.

[Adam Carolla]

No, he hit on her.

[Allison Rosen]

That's totally fair.

[Brian Bishop]

Fucking do it.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, but here initially was in the. Here's the problem. Wait a minute. First off, calm down, Benedict Arnold over there. You've destroyed your own personal relationship.

[Brian Bishop]

That's because I want to have sex with that girl.

[Allison Rosen]

I know. Stop kissing her ass and focus on Roseanne's pussy for a second. Number one, the definition of hitting is very broad, like hitting on somebody. When a guy is sitting next to a chick and drinking in first class and the chick's a model and they're sitting next to each other for six hours, he will be talking. He'll be talking about himself. He'll be bragging. He'll be talking. It does not necessarily mean there's intent there.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, we don't have the whole story. We don't know what the intent is.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I'm just saying if there was. I agree with you. There's a difference between propositioning and. And sort of hitting.

[Brian Bishop]

If he straight up propositioned her, then I don't think it's a big deal. If he didn't straight up. I mean, I think it's funny. If he didn't straight up proposition.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm married. If you put a hot chick next to me on a flight for six hours and give me unlimited drinks, we will be talking about me.

[Brian Bishop]

I think that's fine.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. Thank You.

[Adam Carolla]

No, but I think he did hit on her. Composition her.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay, all right.

[Adam Carolla]

I think.

[Allison Rosen]

And even so, okay, but even if he did, why does she need to. Destroys relationship? And I know there's that thing of like, well, people deserve to know, but this is what I'm saying. Is this the society we want to live in? Do you know what I'm saying?

[Brian Bishop]

He lied about not being married is what it was.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, is that what happened?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, because right there he said he was engaged for six months, but broke it off. Now, if he would have had the married imprint ring, everything probably would have been fine.

[Allison Rosen]

There you go. All right. I'm just saying, look, hot chicks, guys are gonna try to pick you up. Can't you just fucking. Is that a curse? How bad? How bad can it be? You know what I mean? Leave alone.

[Brian Bishop]

She tweeted the truth, man.

[Allison Rosen]

But I would also say this. It's like guys are biologically wired to fucking talk up hot chicks when they're drunk.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, but are guys biologically wired to say they're not married when they're married?

[Allison Rosen]

I'd say, like, even tell you this. I'll say this. Of all my friends that cheat on.

[Brian Bishop]

Their wives, the ones that I find the most repulsive are the ones that lie and say they aren't married. You know, I mean, at least. If you're gonna at least be who you are while you're cheating on your wife.

[Allison Rosen]

Let me ask you this. Or, you know, no, listen. Well, look, first off, sometimes it's hard to cheat if they know you're married, number one. Number two, here's the way guys normally sort of roll. If you're sitting next to a chick who's vegan, you don't. And she's hot and she's a model. You don't talk about how delectable pot roast is. You try to fucking skirt that with, oh, I love a good salad, and I've had some tofurkey that's out of this world. Like, that's kind of who you are. That's what guys think.

[Brian Bishop]

I've never talked about tofurkey in my life, but that's okay.

[Allison Rosen]

Don't bullshit a bullshitter, James.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, so go ahead, what's next? What's next?

[Allison Rosen]

All right, I'm saying when you have a hot chick sitting next to you and you're on a six hour flight and you're drinking, you're not weaving in your wife and your kids. That's what I'm saying.

[Brian Bishop]

But there's a difference between lie by Omission.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm not mentioning that I'm married, okay? And lying by saying, oh, I had a girlfriend for six months and then we just broke it off a little while ago. It didn't work out. We were on different pages.

[Allison Rosen]

But here's what I'm saying. There's a little. There's a fantasy part of this whole thing. Do you know what I mean? Like, married guys can go to strip clubs. You know what I mean? Look, for five hours while I'm drinking my Heinekens, I can fantasize that something's going on here. And then you're gonna get in a cab and I'm gonna get in a town car and we're going our separate ways. I think there's a fair bit of that in life.

[Brian Bishop]

I know.

[Allison Rosen]

For that, I don't know how many.

[Adam Carolla]

Guys to give her the benefit of the doubt. Yes, some women are totally stupid, but most women, I'd say, aren't that stupid. Meaning she got a vibe from him that he was trying to pull something and he was lying about it. And I'm assuming. I don't actually know, but I could imagine a scenario where that was what was happening. I'm sure. And so she. To tweet about it because it offended.

[Allison Rosen]

Her, but she chose to tweet about it because it offended her. What does that mean?

[Brian Bishop]

I've done it. If somebody's a dick and they're a celebrity or whatever, I'll send out a tweet. I don't give a shit. It's like, what's the difference?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, the difference is if Jeremy Piven's sitting next to you on an airplane and he said, douche, Jeremy Piven's not going to get divorced because you called him a douchebag. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, there's not really repercussions. That's just. If you run into Jeremy Piven at a party, it's gonna be pissed.

[Adam Carolla]

Did she just say Brian? And then other people. She just said Brian. She just said Brian. Other people figured out who it was.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Still weird, but. All right, if she didn't use his last name, that makes it better. I'm just saying, this thing of everybody tattling on everybody and everybody tweeting and everyone with. With a cell phone with a video camera in it and holding everything up, it's just starting to spool out of control.

[Brian Bishop]

The people with the cameras. Go to a comic book convention sometime and be like, have a thousand people pretending not to take your picture. That are taking your picture, it's like the worst thing. So that's different. The guy who tweeted about you complaining about something unless you were being a real ass about it, it's just like, chill out. I mean, that's.

[Allison Rosen]

No, but, like, what?

[Brian Bishop]

It's one thing to say, I saw Adam Carolla at.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I don't care. I'm just saying. The point is, is I'm sitting at a booth having a conversation with my friend. I could have been saying to my friend, listen, I'm thinking about getting a divorce, and I don't know what to do, so I want your advice. And that guy could have just tweeted that. That's my point. And then we'd go, oh, well, that's his right. He can do what he wants. You're talking too loud.

[Brian Bishop]

But I had it happen once where I was out with an actress who was a friend, and we were discussing something at Hugo's restaurant.

[Allison Rosen]

Know it well.

[Brian Bishop]

And, like, later that day or that night, like, the conversation ended up on Daily Radar or one those. I'm not sure which one of those sites. It was one of those gossip sites, and it was somebody who was obviously sitting next to us and, yes, memorizing what we were saying to each other.

[Allison Rosen]

Or recording it even. I mean, with your iPhone.

[Adam Carolla]

Could have been super sensitive stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

Very sensitive.

[Allison Rosen]

On 8% marshmallows instead of this falafel.

[Brian Bishop]

I was talking about how I would like to eat a. I would like to suck a little vagina y like penis.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm just saying it's not a good thing. I don't think it's a good thing. I understand the surveillance camera at the atm, and I'm all for that, but this part where you sit next to someone and then you're sort of. The tattling part is getting a little weird. And, yeah, me complaining about ice T is fine, but I could have been complaining about my kids, and the guy could have Twittered that, and it could have fucking freaked my wife out. This is what you do. You go out to dinner, go out to lunch with your friend and fucking tweet about. You complain about your kids. Yeah, probably did a little of that. He left that out of there. Well, I'll tell you, this is why you need legal zip. Legalzoom.com. you need a will in case your wife hears this when they read tweet and tries to kill you. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Also. Yeah, go ahead.

[Allison Rosen]

It is creepy that you're at Hugo's, by the way. They make some good Pancakes. Hugo's is one of those. No, I mean having a conversation. Because I always feel that way. Hugo's is one of those places, doesn't have booze. You know, sort of puts your table next to the other table. You can kind of hear what the other person's saying. But in the past, like, who gives a shit? Except for if people recognize you or recognize the woman you're with, then all of a sudden they're gonna want to know. It's kind of.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like a star studded place, I would say, where people would think that they're safe to talk about whatever they want.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You don't think about it. Well, it wasn't like we were having a loud. It was a very private conversation. So it wasn't like a loud conversation.

[Allison Rosen]

It wasn't talking about, you know, here's what goes on at those restaurants. The people are physically two feet away from you. Now, normally you're just reading the sports page or talking to your friend. And that guy over there is a retired school teacher and he's talking to the guy who used to drive the Zamboni at the Forum. And you don't give a. But if that person was Cameron Diaz and she was talking to her agent about Zambonis, about Zambonis or perhaps other ways to prepare ice, you'd be, she's a freak. You definitely would tune in. Your fucking right ear would zoom in on that shit, and you would probably pick up lots and pieces of Cameron Diaz's conversation and then you would take it home and tell somebody about it. And that's what's getting freaky about it.

[Adam Carolla]

You're that guy's Cameron Diaz.

[Allison Rosen]

That's right. Right. And complaining about it, by the way. It's so perfect that there's no way Lynette could read that and go, that's not the Adam I know. He always talks politics when he goes out for breakfast. Burrito. All right, James Gunn, everybody. Lollipop Chainsaw, the new video game available on Amazon. Click through our website, get James Gunn's video game. Show him some love. Show us some love. 360. Xbox, PlayStation 3. Website lollipopchainsaw.com Jamesgun.com is where you go, James. Always refreshing.

[Brian Bishop]

Ah, Love being here, love being here.

[Allison Rosen]

Love you. And next time you come, even more changes, my friend. So until next time, this is Adam Kroll for James Gunn, Allison Rosen and Paul Bryan saying mahalo.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you. I'm gonna masturbate.

[James Gunn]

All right, that's Adam Kurillo. Show 855. Coming up next, we have Adam Kurillo. Show 1370. James Gunn, Ray Oldhoffer, Allison Rose, Brian Bishop, 2014. Check it out.

[Allison Rosen]

James Gunn coming in, friend of the show. Guardians of the Galaxy. This is gonna be a big one. Big summer blockbuster coming out.

[Gina Grad]

Sneaking up on people too.

[Allison Rosen]

It's gonna be big. Yep.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

What's it about?

[Allison Rosen]

These people guard the galaxy.

[Gina Grad]

Right there in the title, Ray.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a hundred and seventy million dollar movie they've trusted this man with. All right, us, Irvine Improv, San Diego, Saturday. Maybe a couple tickets left to the late show. Unclear. First show, early show sold out. Vegas, Treasure Island. Coming up August 29th. Come say hi. I'll be at Gillies during the day. Well, at seven o', clock. Signing some bottles of Mangria and listening to techno music while people wear Stetson hats. Because that's what it's fucking come to. Ray Oldhoefer in studio. Good to see you, Ray. Hi.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Hello, Adam.

[Allison Rosen]

Known Ray for 45 years.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

That's weird, huh?

[Allison Rosen]

Make it 40. I always think, you know, Ray did a lot of stupid stuff when we were young. I did a lot of stupid stuff, stuff with Ray when we were young and this can't be going anywhere good. It is. It's a compliment. There's only. Ray didn't handle. Ray doesn't have a dimmer switch. Like, by the way, the stuff we did in terms of bullying or whatever you want to call it these days.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

But I didn't bully people. I only bullied, like the bad guy. I didn't bully.

[Allison Rosen]

If I said to you. If I said to you. I remember you and I were getting ready to take the bus to the beach. Because that's what you did back when you lived in the Valley. It was like three transfers and nine hours later you got to Santa Monica. No, this is me saying to you, Ray, every time we hang out, you basically tear my T shirt in half. And this T shirt I like, so please don't tear it in half. And then your response was, you should have never told me that. And then you tore that shirt in half so it wasn't on you. He would tear your shirt off of you like he was ripping your bodice. You don't even wanna.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I mean, but that transfers to the ladies and their unders. So that's what I.

[Adam Carolla]

You ripped their underwear in half?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Ray, the stuff that's never been done to you.

[Adam Carolla]

I've never had my panties destroyed. Not that way.

[Allison Rosen]

The stuff. The stuff that was done. Right. This stuff would be you've been imprisoned a long time ago for this today's climate. Like the bullying. What they call bullying bullying or bullying bullying. I guess I call it bullying. But bullying, you know, like telling a kid to lay down on the floor and putting a barbell over his neck so he couldn't move.

[Gina Grad]

You know, those kinds of hijinks.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah, that's just good, clean fun.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know what you're talking about, all right? But one of the only things that Ray did that I refused to participate in. And I participated in all the stuff Ray participated in, but the one that I wouldn't was with the Puffs and the Chanticleers on broomball night.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You were a big bitch that night.

[Allison Rosen]

I would not fucking do big, Lily. First off, could you imagine this in today's litigious society and climate? There's something called broomball. The two girls groups rent out the local ice rink at midnight on a Saturday night. And the chicks. Everyone gets drunk and the chicks just go at it with, like, a volleyball and brooms that are taped up.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Running around Chalky with brooms.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, running around with tennis shoes and elbow pads on and just bashing the shit out of each other. Drunk on hot. On a ice that's been running out at midnight on a Saturday night while fucking teenagers just drink. Sitting there. Like, could you imagine the lawsuits that'd be going down?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Where the hell are those now? I go now.

[Allison Rosen]

What's happening? The two girls groups, the Puffs and the Chanticleers. Yeah, what's up? They're going at it. Broomball tonight after homecoming. Perfect. Midnight at the. Wow. God, what was that? The Laurel. Laurel.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Whatever it's called.

[Allison Rosen]

Some ice capacity and. And midnight, and they've rented the place out and the chicks get liquored up and everyone just brings their own six packs. There's no security and no supervision and no anything. It's just the entire student body of the school piles into this place. And then they.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

There's like 400 people at least.

[Allison Rosen]

And there's just 20 girls on the ice and they're liquored up and they. You know, they're not wearing helmets or anything. They're running around with these brooms and tennis shoes, like, smacking on each other.

[Gina Grad]

Was there a proprietor, like an owner of the rink?

[Allison Rosen]

Or. They rented it out. They could rent it out. They said to whoever owned it, here's 200 bucks or 100 bucks. Get it Saturday night after you close. And he was like, yeah, go to it. You know, besides that.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

What adult was.

[Adam Carolla]

Didn't anyone have parents that cared where they were?

[Allison Rosen]

Parents were there?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Sure, why not?

[Allison Rosen]

No, they weren't. Nobody gave a shit. Nobody gave a shit with nobody's parents. Don't ask, don't tell. With the fucking parents, like, you know, we.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Hold on. There was some pretty affluent kids there. There were like, you know, a lot of Jewish kids.

[Allison Rosen]

But their parents weren't there. No, they didn't give a shit.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You're right.

[Allison Rosen]

They were just out. So what you did. We're having fun and we're having fun. And look, the guy who owned the ice rink said we close Saturday at 11 or midnight. You want to pay me another $200 to stay open for another two hours? Fine. I don't give a fuck what you do. And because we didn't have fucking lawyers, just fucking. You couldn't, you know. Now you can't swing a cat without hitting a fucking lawyer. But back then it was just like. It was understood that if you want to go fuck yourself up on the ice, that'll be your fault. You should have wore a helmet, sweetie.

[Gina Grad]

There are still weird loopholes in the law or things. For example, I'm thinking of you can rent a U Haul truck and do almost anything back there except live back there. You could have a tailgate, a barbecue. You could do almost anything. And they kind of don't care as long as you return the thing not destroyed promptly. But that's like a rare holdover from that era nowadays. It's almost weird to see something like that.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, there are a few good holes in the law, which. Which I like. But by and large there would be no such thing today. A bunch of high schoolers taking over a hockey rink and getting drunk and it was a. You know, bring your own booze and everyone would just show up and get drunk and then just, you know, you could walk in with a six pack, like at seven.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

But it wasn't. Yeah, six pack, but it was in a bag. I mean, let's face it, it was undercover. You know, I don't know who we're hiding it from.

[Allison Rosen]

There didn't seem to be any authority anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, I have a question. You're saying if you ran a mobile brothel out of a U Haul, no one would sue? U Haul?

[Allison Rosen]

They put the themes on the side of the U Hauls like when Dinosaurs Nevada. And then they have the scene of the guy getting blown, the Asian businessman getting his dick sucked. You've seen him before, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Of course. Oh, that's what that is.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, like they'll have the one for Florida. And they'll show the Everglades. That's right. This one's different. Yeah, the double fisted cockpit. The Asian businessman. Nevada. So good things happen. So we, you know, we couldn't just go and just watch because that wouldn't have been. That wouldn't have been enough for us or Ray or anybody else. We had to go and do something. But we weren't the Puffs or the Chanticleer. So what, what to do? So Ray and our buddy Chris decided, you know what?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

No, no, no, no. My brainstorm. Come on.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, you decided? Ray decided. You know, it'd be awesome. We should pull up at the end of the ring. The end of the rink had about four or five stairs and then just two double doors that just led into the parking lot behind the structure. We should pull up in a van, should jump out of the van, should fling open the doors, run down the stairs, go over the rink wall, which would be at the end of the hockey rink behind the net essentially, and run, do one complete lap all the way around the hockey rink and then come back out and jump in the van and go out. But the deal was you had to do it nude and.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

No, no, you bagged your head. You had a bag on your head so you wouldn't be identified. Which that happened.

[Allison Rosen]

You bagged your head. I think you bagged your cock and balls too.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

And we got the submarine sandwich bag to embellish.

[Allison Rosen]

Right? Come on.

[Brian Bishop]

Now.

[Allison Rosen]

We knew what was right. Right? You're gonna run.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I need that 18 inch bag to cover up this 4 inch thing I have.

[Allison Rosen]

You're gonna run all the way around the rain.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

No, you have to go touch the end. That was the deal. Touch the end and then run back.

[Allison Rosen]

Thank you for making the story 20% shittier. I appreciate it, Ray. Anyway. Yes. No, you're right, Ray. You don't run all the way around the rink. You just go straight all the way to the end and turn around and come back. Yeah, it makes it 20% less interesting.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Go ahead, Adam.

[Allison Rosen]

Thanks, Dick. Oh, don't you have a groundlings class coming up? Yep. You gotta go from one end to the other. Sorry for saying you have to run around it. Why do you gotta do that, Ray? What's your fucking impulse? Why?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I'm just trying to add to the story.

[Allison Rosen]

You're not adding to it. You're making it shitty. You're making it shittier. You're making it less. Less. Well, why should anyone believe me? Why should anyone believe me anymore? I'm just a guy who Lies about cock in bags and ice. That's just me.

[Adam Carolla]

You have no cock.

[Allison Rosen]

Ice liar.

[Brian Bishop]

Bag.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Eye slider.

[Allison Rosen]

You have to run to the. All the way to the other end and come all the way back. Sorry for saying going all the way around the ramp, it's like a speed. It made it a little bit better, but. All right, go ahead.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Go ahead. Nice tangent.

[Allison Rosen]

I didn't have to go on it. You just had to make your story 20% shittier.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I hate this fucking chair because I'm.

[Allison Rosen]

Older than you right now. All right, so listen. Ray was gonna put a bag on his head and a bag on his cock and balls, and he's gonna run naked down to one end, touch the end, come back, okay? He wanted me to go along with him. I did not want to go along with it.

[Adam Carolla]

But why?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, now I did everything else.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

He was very identifiable by his hair.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I said, you're gonna get tackled out there. Cause there's 20 drunken fucking chicks out there with brooms. And you're gonna. You're on ice. You're on your tennis shoes. You're vulnerable. You're gonna go down. And when you go down, the entire school is watching. And once your ass hits the ice and all those chicks jump on top of your, start hitting with the broom or whatever, that fucking bag's getting ripped off your head. Bags getting ripped off. You're just gonna be flailing.

[Adam Carolla]

You should be standing naked on the ice.

[Allison Rosen]

It's gonna be literally the embodiment of a nightmare. You, totally naked in front of the entire school, standing on a block of ice.

[Gina Grad]

And I understand that while women hit.

[Allison Rosen]

You with a brick. That sounds like Friday.

[Gina Grad]

Ice does not have forgiving qualities on a penis.

[Allison Rosen]

No, it's not helpful.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, interesting.

[Allison Rosen]

Ice is to the cock what fluorescent lighting is to the skin. It's just not. It's not flattering. It does not help.

[Gina Grad]

Harsh.

[Allison Rosen]

So it's very harsh.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I'm a grower, not a shower.

[Allison Rosen]

I said to Ray, you're on your own not doing this one. And buddy Chris did it, too. I said, I can't figure out how you're going to get from one end. These chicks are drunk, primed, they got weapons in their hands, and they've been on their feet on the ice for an hour.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

They're, like, ready to go.

[Allison Rosen]

And they're looking basically for a neutral enemy, which would have been Ray and his dork in a sandwich bag.

[Gina Grad]

And they do this on a regular basis, which means this is not a new experience running around the ice.

[Allison Rosen]

It's once a year. It's the big. Yeah, but still many of them. For many of them, it's their third game and they've been on their feet on that ice for, like, they've got their footing down, right? You don't have your footing down, you're gonna hit that ice, you're not gonna know what happened. Ray ran out onto the ice and was cocking a bag and ran all the fucking way. Like, wasn't one of these things where he did half or whatever. He fucking ran all the way down. And every arms up, every chick was jumping in front of him and hitting him with a broom and fucking stringing at his cock with the broom. And Raven just kept going. Like he kept getting further away from safety, but he didn't fucking stop halfway. The blue line or something or where they face off.

[Gina Grad]

He called it for icing.

[Allison Rosen]

He went all the way to the fucking end. And now when he was coming back, he was running the gauntlet.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

There was some resistance.

[Allison Rosen]

There were chicks sliding out in front of him. Ray was hitting him with a forearm shiver, knocking him down. They were. They're all diving and now the chicks were like, there's two new dudes on the ice.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It was kind of. They wanted to. They wanted to make sure. You got your bag ripped off, essentially. Either or.

[Adam Carolla]

When you're wearing tennis shoes on ice, do you slide? Like, what happens happens.

[Allison Rosen]

It feels like. You think it would feel like.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You gotta keep your feet under.

[Allison Rosen]

Keep your feet under you. You're going down.

[Gina Grad]

Center your gravity. Also, you had a bag on your head. Right. How did you avoid people trying to trip you?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I think both bags got ripped off. I don't know. You know, it happened.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you really did have your cock and balls in a bag.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no.

[Allison Rosen]

What do you think? We're making it up?

[Adam Carolla]

I blew it off for some reason.

[Allison Rosen]

No cock and ball in baggy.

[Adam Carolla]

Fasten it.

[Gina Grad]

You know, when you go to Home Depot. You know, you go to Home Depot, you buy maybe one or two screws they have in those little tiny bags. Or Michaels.

[Allison Rosen]

Either way, that I would. Not that I was not down for. But God bless, Ray. Went all the way the other side. Turn around.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

By the way, Success.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, yeah. No, complete mission success.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It was great.

[Allison Rosen]

I was awesome. Good.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

By the way, who won that game?

[Allison Rosen]

Who knows? Who knows? But I'll tell you what they do remember, Ray. This cock in a blimpy's bag running down the fucking ice. Yeah, that they do fucking remember. Am I right?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It was a good Time.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. Yes. All right. Ah, Blue apron. Love. These guys take the stress out of cooking just $9.99ameal. They'll send over all the ingredients, all correct proportions, and it goes right to your door. Includes a step by step idiot proof instructions. Pictures come along with it as well. And you cook, they ship for free. You get the stuff done in an hour. They got short rib burgers on pretzel buns. God damn, that sounds good.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I'll streak for that.

[Allison Rosen]

Short rib burger on pretzel buns. I love pretzel buns. Kung pao chicken tacos, stuffed cabbage. Oh, I love stuffed cabbage. Right? Your mom did a stuffed cabbage. Yeah. Pepper? Yeah. Mmm. My mom did a stuffed biorhythms wheel. Was awesome. Go to blueapron.com Adam. That's blueapron.com Cook the gourmet stuff, do it yourself, do it inexpensively. Have it all come to your door. Two meals free, by the way, if you try it out. So two meals free. Just go to blueapron.com Adam. All right, phone calls. James Gunn coming up. Ray, you got a tip worked out?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Hey, yeah, I sure do. And by the way.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, gentlemen, grab your hardwood. It's time for Just the Tip.

[Adam Carolla]

Just the tip.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

We gotta figure out a way to edit that down.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. That can be heard on Ace on the the House, the podcast that Ray and I do think comes out on Saturdays. Yeah. All right, what do we got?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Well, I got to tell you, this segment is sponsored by MaximaStyle.com best selection of energy saving LED light bulbs. Like the ones we have in here. Exactly. 21 light bulbs in here where we are right now. And that's why I can see you, Brian. And by the way, you're handsome.

[Allison Rosen]

Thank you.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Go to maxximastyle.com Ace, you've had this problem. Thermostat, Bad location.

[Allison Rosen]

Mmm. Yeah.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

In the hallway. Weird height, whatever it is.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You know what you can do to remedy this?

[Allison Rosen]

Your thermostats in bad location. Right? Mm.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It's an eyesore.

[Allison Rosen]

Mmm.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You might hit it with your shoulder.

[Allison Rosen]

Whatever you do, right?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Whatever you do, Here's a new way. Here's a new way to get around that. Hang a picture over it. Put it on a hinge or a French cleat, hide it.

[Allison Rosen]

Explain to people what a French cleat is.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

French cleat is a piece of wood cut at a 45 angle, and then behind that is another 45, where they cinch up and they just rest at each other sorta.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a yin and a yang. Meaning you take this strip of wood, you cut it, put one edge at 45 degrees and put that edge at the end.

[Gina Grad]

Like a puzzle piece.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. So when you slide the picture with the coinciding piece on it, it's pretty good. It's male and female. This kind of tucks in.

[Adam Carolla]

I want everything on that in my house.

[Allison Rosen]

It's awesome. Yeah, it's awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

That's brilliant.

[Allison Rosen]

It's super simple, super easy.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

And you can just lift it off.

[Allison Rosen]

But it's diabolical because it could never slide down. It just gets tighter, you know? And then as you lift it up, there. Picture of a French color. Clean. All right, so, Ray, you put a picture over it, Right.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Hide it, get it out of the way.

[Gina Grad]

And the French cave gives it enough clearance to co. So it's not crushing the.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Depends what size. Think about it, Brian.

[Allison Rosen]

Depends what size picture you get insulting here. Yeah.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

So exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Just after he called you handsome.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Trying to help.

[Allison Rosen]

All right. All right.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I'll come over to your houses and do it for you. Figure it out.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, but. Right.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

What's the problem, Adam? Imagine this.

[Allison Rosen]

You can't read the digital readout on it. You know, the thermostat.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You take it on, or you put it on a hinge.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm on the hinge.

[Adam Carolla]

Put a frame with no picture in it. Then you can see, see through it.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Then it's part of the art.

[Allison Rosen]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

You just frame your thermostat.

[Gina Grad]

Urban art.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm going with the hinge. I like the hinge. Yeah. Except for every time I open it up and there wasn't a safe there. I'd be disappointed even if I lived in the house.

[Adam Carolla]

Stand into a secret room.

[Allison Rosen]

Right? Yeah. All right. Hinge it. All right. Ra. Give it a four.

[Gina Grad]

Can I ask you guys a question about home improvement? Because I figure.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Just ask me.

[Gina Grad]

Okay. Well, Adam's hung a lot of doors, so this is where I'm going with this.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, you.

[Gina Grad]

You've mentioned your prowess.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm good at hanging doors.

[Gina Grad]

The next thing. The next thing we want to do to our house is. I want to. I want a dutch door. A dutch door is cool. Like, it lets the breeze in, but it's also kind of, you know, people can't walk in or whatever or dog can't run out. A Dutch door seems really cool to me.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I put a dutch door in with the dog door, by the way, just so you know.

[Gina Grad]

Really?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I'll take a picture of them, Bring it in.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I'VE done a Dutch door in the front door. How hard is that? What are the disadvantages? Is it something almost anyone can do?

[Allison Rosen]

Dutch door. Front door. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Dutch door. Front door.

[Allison Rosen]

Not normally done. Doesn't mean it can't be done. It's just traditionally front door. Not the Dutch door. It's usually the kitchen. Kitchen door. Well, I'm not saying it's not done. I'm saying it's pretty rare. I've never seen it like stopped that one maybe one out of a hundred, somebody stuck out. Well, there could be, you know, crazed, criminally insane or a brain tumor or something like that where somebody went, retrofitted it, you know, later on in life. It's kind of English countryside sort of thing. You can do it. Do you want to take your existing door and make it into a Dutch door?

[Gina Grad]

That seems like too much trouble. I think a Dutch door, as it's supposed to come right, is the way to go.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, it's pretty.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It's pretty much a door because you need four hinges first of all.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay, yeah, two and two versus three.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, two above, two below. I don't know. But there's a weird thing that I was thinking about which is going Dutch is splitting something. Dutch door. Is a split door. Dutch uncle's like, I don't know. What a douchebag.

[Gina Grad]

I never heard of that.

[Allison Rosen]

We'll look it up in a second. There's a Dutchman, which is when you're doing a hog quote. When you're doing a jam and you make. It's not really that. Listen, when you're doing like a mortise for a hinge, where you're carving out for a hinge and you fuck it up and you don't want to replace the old jam, so you cut a real thin piece of wood and you glue it in there like you patch it. Yeah. It's called Dutchman everything. Cheap Dutch. Yeah. That's just pejorative.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Well, it's a Flying Dutchman.

[Allison Rosen]

That's a boat or a captain or something. The point is this. Everything, everything that's cheap is Dutch.

[Gina Grad]

Interesting.

[Allison Rosen]

And I think the Dutch must have been cheap and it just carried over.

[Gina Grad]

To get that reputation.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, there's a bunch of nomenclature. Yeah, there's a bunch. Thanks, Gary. There's a bunch of Dutch told me Dutch doors are popular in his parents neighborhood. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

For front doors, right?

[Allison Rosen]

No.

[Gina Grad]

Christie's grandma lives near Gary and she has a Dutch door and her front door. And every time I go to the house, it's open. Unless the breeze.

[Allison Rosen]

I need more Dutch. Gary, I'm not interested in what's going on. This is a nice thing for the front door. It is.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Nice breezeway.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Critters? No, no critters.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Unless I'm flying. Get a pigeon.

[Allison Rosen]

Bats. Yeah. The Flying Dutchman's a ghost ship. But now I want to know the Dutch and if they're cheap.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, you want.

[Allison Rosen]

You. Well, the Dutch uncle is just. I think he's just an asshole.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

He's a rapist.

[Allison Rosen]

All I'm saying is there's seven or eight Dutch related things, and they're all bad that the Dutch never pipe up. Don't have an issue with it. It's interesting. I'm just saying.

[Adam Carolla]

How many Dutch do you know?

[Allison Rosen]

They all relate to being. I know the Van Der Sloot kid pretty good. I mean, we correspond.

[Adam Carolla]

Dean, Tory's husband.

[Allison Rosen]

Dean, Tory's husband, Dean Van der Sloot.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

They got third in the World Cup.

[Allison Rosen]

He was registered at Crate and Barrel. Maybe I said enough. I think you're in the joint and you're registering somewhere, but I guess, you know, protocol is protocol.

[Adam Carolla]

You need one of those hand mixers.

[Allison Rosen]

The point is, this Dutch is all cheap, and I want to know. They were obviously known as the cheapos of Europe at some point, and so they named a whole bunch of cheap shit after them, and I want to know why. Okay, so there's some story to that. And Gary will get to the bottom.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

But also like the taller tallest race. The Dutch.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

How do you know?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Look it up. The Netherlands have the per capita tallest people.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, so Dutch door new versus existing split. Here's the difficult part. Hanging doors in existing openings is tough because the existing opening is not particularly true. And the way you want to hang a door is that.

[Gina Grad]

What do you mean?

[Allison Rosen]

It's out of whack? It's not what it could be.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It's not gonna be plumb and level.

[Allison Rosen]

It's not plumb and level.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You have stucco. Do you have stucco in your house?

[Gina Grad]

Do I have stucco in my house?

[Allison Rosen]

On the outside of your house. They're the tallest, Ray. They're the tallest country in the world. Yeah. All right, Gary, find some fucking cheap shit, would you, please? Thank you. Now.

[Gina Grad]

Actually, I don't think I do.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, you should know.

[Gina Grad]

I'm pretty sure I don't.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Well, you have stucco, mold and everything else. And Adam's talking about popping in an existing with casement and everything else, which would be much easier versus him. Do it. You do it or me? Do it. Am I kind of on the right track here?

[Allison Rosen]

No, Brian can't do it. He's lame. Number one, you can't. Number two, it's much easier to. You see, when you hang a door, you set the hinge side plumb and level. Or just plumb, basically. And then you set the rest of the jamb around the door. After you hang the door, your stuff's all set there. It's all there. So you have to fit the door to the existing opening, which is going to be a little bit off.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

Can be done. I've done it many times. It's just a slightly higher skill level to make it work. An existing opening, but also throws bevels on doors.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

He does everything right. When Adam's got a hard on for doors, he does a great job.

[Allison Rosen]

No, everyone throws a bevel on a door. I throw the bevel on the hinge side, which some people don't do because it stops it from binding. But anyway, get a. Get the door. Find the door and it. Make it work. You can do. I mean, hire somebody to do it. Not right.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I'll come over.

[Allison Rosen]

You above his pay grade. Oh, wow. You need the right planer for this shit.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Like, I don't have one.

[Allison Rosen]

You don't have one of those?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah, I do.

[Allison Rosen]

You do?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah, it's at your shop.

[Allison Rosen]

Is it mine? Yeah, it's mine. Yeah. That's not yours. That's mine.

[Adam Carolla]

Would you have the top part open in or out?

[Gina Grad]

In for sure.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I guess in because of the wind or whatever.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

All front doors?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, they all open in? Yeah.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Come on.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, Here we go. Alex, 27, Colorado. Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you very much for taking my call.

[Allison Rosen]

I have a question for Ray, actually. You want to play an outro?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

All right, well, we're still going with the segment.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks for the tip.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, Ray, did you do your sponsor thing?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Not the outro yet, but we're taking calls.

[Allison Rosen]

Let's go.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Let's work this out.

[Allison Rosen]

Hey, you know what? Would you fucking do it?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah, I got it.

[Allison Rosen]

Do it.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

All right. Want to hang a door? Call Adam. Thanks to MaximaStyle.com and use the coupon code Adam for additional savings. Thanks, Adam.

[Allison Rosen]

All right.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

All right, Alex, what do you got going?

[Brian Bishop]

So I'm about to move out of my apartment in Colorado to my first house.

[Allison Rosen]

And winner.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Wait, wait. Did you buy the house? Are you renting it?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I bought the house. Winner.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Next call. Next call.

[Allison Rosen]

Winner.

[Adam Carolla]

Show off.

[Brian Bishop]

But I do love you, Ray, and this is why. The question is for you in my Past in Chicago, I had all the. These really nice landlords that didn't really give a shit about your security deposit. But I've heard that my current landlords are really like, kind of like, you.

[Allison Rosen]

Know, sticklers on what they find wrong.

[Brian Bishop]

So I was wondering, what are the main things to look for so I can get my full security deposit back?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

All right, have them do a walkthrough with you, right when you're leaving, you got everything cleaned up, have the landlord present, do a walkthrough with you. Make sure it's on your time, you know, like, don't infringe on your work, all that kind of stuff. Make sure he shows up with you, walk through the place, make a. Make a verbal agreement and get your fucking money back. Because no landlord likes giving any deposit back.

[Allison Rosen]

I've never had a. I've got my.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Deposit back like three times. I've been sued fucking twice. One. Both fucking times. Yeah, I hate landlords. Some of them, unless it was a. And then I love them.

[Allison Rosen]

Get your money. I walked through my first apartment with my landlord and he literally, he looked at me and he said it was a one bedroom that we had three dudes living in for like four years.

[Gina Grad]

With the animals and the race cars different.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, four years.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

And by the way, left in good shape, not in horrific shape. You guys didn't kill the place.

[Allison Rosen]

Thanks for. Ray.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Oh, did I fuck up another one of your stories? Gee, I'm sorry.

[Gina Grad]

The landlord remarked on how clean it was.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, good enough. There you go. That's what he said. No thanks, Ray. Maybe he didn't know where I was heading. He said that in his 30 years of doing this, in his multiple. Multiple apartment buildings, that he'd never seen one this bad. That was his. But thank you, Ray.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Wait, what the fuck happened to it?

[Allison Rosen]

What was wrong? Think about the carpet, for instance.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It's gotta be replaced after a year or two anyway. Big deal.

[Allison Rosen]

Every year or two. Wall to wall carpet. It was brand new carpet. Well, that's fucking money. They went out of your pocket.

[Gina Grad]

So how much of the deposit did you get back?

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, none.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Wait, how many deposits have you ever given a deposit or received deposit with. With property? Like, I know you're pretty fair with your properties or whatever. Somebody wants something, you got it, you know, whatever. I got it covered. Like if you.

[Allison Rosen]

I just went over this. No, I just.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

What about your house when you were out in Montrose or wherever you were, when you were renting out there? You get your deposit back?

[Allison Rosen]

Did I? I don't Remember, two guys lived in that house before I got there for. Look, you never look, I've rented stuff, and I've rented stuff to people, and my policy is, if you're gonna. And by the way, I've rented the shit I've rented to. Their dogs have torn up everything. The carpet's been torn up. There's animal stains everywhere. It's like, look, I get my guys to come in and fix it as cheaply as we possibly can, and that's exactly what they're compensated. There's no extra on top of anything. I just went through that to today, so that's super fair. It just is what it is. I'll replace the stuff that your dog tore up, and then I'll charge you whatever the carpet guy charged me, and that'll be that.

[Adam Carolla]

When I moved out of my last place, my landlord tried to charge for, like, some lines on the washing machine. And conveniently, I had photos that I had taken of a lot of stuff when I was looking at the apartment before I even moved in. And I was able to send it to him, and he's like, oh, look at that. And then he gave me the money.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, it's a pretty. It's a very interesting human dynamic, whatever where. And this is, by the way, this is not why do all landlords turn into bad people? It's not that it's like saying, why do all celebrities turn into assholes? It's not that. What it is, is if you give someone $1,000 and they put it in their bank account or $5,000 or whatever it may be, and it's in their bank account four years later, that's their money in their mind. And every penny of it that they give back to you in their mind, they're spending that. It's giving you the money out of their pocket. It's an emotional thing. It's sort of like the people where the bank fucks up and they put a $10,000 deposit in their checking account because of a computer error, and then four months later, they're like, oh, hey, we need that 10 back. And they're like, that's my money. It's like. It feels like, what? What? You're taking this away from me.

[Adam Carolla]

This is like, it should be your money. Should it be a bank error in your favor?

[Allison Rosen]

When the bank fucks up, you feel that way. But that bottom line is, it's 10 grand. It's 10 grand. It's 10 Grand. Either it's yours or it's not. Who cares? A computer Made, whatever. So the landlord, after sitting on top of that money for a number of years, goes, this is my money. It's in my bank account. And now the plan is I will give you back as little of it as possible. Because they don't look at it as giving you your money back. They look at it as, how much of my money are you going to take from me? That's how almost every human being is wired, except for me. I'm talking great.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Don't be afraid to threaten your landlord, as I have done.

[Allison Rosen]

For me, it's just, whatever it costs, that's what will take. I don't get emotionally attached to it because I understand practically, intellectually and spiritually, it's not my money.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you put their deposit in a special account or anything like that, or do you allow it to mingle with your money?

[Allison Rosen]

I don't. I don't. I don't know how it works other than when you rent something out, you go, we need. And by the way, you need that money. I mean, when you see what these fucking families can do and will do with their fucking pets and their fucking kids. I mean, it is. You can't even imagine. This is what people do. Especially nicer, affluent people. Fucking slobs. Pets, shit everywhere, piss everywhere. Kids, crayons everywhere. Dig? I mean, every fucking. Every piece of furniture the dogs chewed on. I mean, it's all fucked up. So you do need to set that aside. Otherwise you will be fucking out. And then, like I said, for me, it's a simple equation. Hey, carpet guy, go ahead and replace the carpet, and however much it costs, send him that bill. And that's what'll come off the top of the thing. It's pretty.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You don't cost plus 30.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You're not that guy.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm just not that guy. I'm fucking busy and I'm just. It's fine. It's a deposit. It's not my money. It's a deposit and they'll get back.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

And hence, you're strangely fair. That's your mo.

[Allison Rosen]

My MO Is I am not going to lose a nickel on this and I'm not going to make a nickel on it. It will be exactly what it's there for. It's not an excuse for me to make a little extra cash. It is what it is. It's a deposit to protect me. Me against what exactly did happen? Your dog chewed up everything and then shat upon the carpet. Hold on, I got fart. All right.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Just saying.

[Allison Rosen]

You good? All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you already do it. I guess we'll find out.

[Allison Rosen]

Darren.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Pull my finger.

[Allison Rosen]

Allison. Darren. Darren.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

What's going on? Hey.

[Brian Bishop]

I was wondering. I know you're a fan of aggressive driving.

[Allison Rosen]

I know you like to brag.

[Brian Bishop]

You like to get the passenger to press the non existent brake in the passenger seat.

[Allison Rosen]

I was wondering what the worst car.

[Brian Bishop]

Accident you guys have ever been in.

[Allison Rosen]

Happy to report that I turned left this morning when I was leaving my house in front of four cars that were stacked up like fucking lemmings behind the left turn arrow. Signal green arrow red. I drove all the way past them. And then this time, because there's oncoming traffic, I kind of perched my in the intersection, which I never usually do. Usually I'll do a clean move, but there are cars coming and then turn left in front of everybody.

[Gina Grad]

I still get a little nervous when making the turn on the left red like you say. Which the left arrow. Red arrow. Which I do. But the one thing I do with. With glee. And I'm imagining every time I do it, I think of you. Because something you would do. Metering lights. The red metering lights on the freeway is the most worthless.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

I've never. I can't remember the last time I stopped at one.

[Allison Rosen]

Blow through them, but hook your head around pretty hard because every once in a while there's CHP just sitting back 50 yards just waiting for you to blow through.

[Gina Grad]

Most on ramps you can see. You know what I'm saying? But you gotta look.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Haven't you ever seen a chp? And they'll let you go because they just know I have. And then with the left hand. With the left hand turn, they'll let you go. Sometimes they'll even see you and they go, fuck it. The guy knows how to drive.

[Allison Rosen]

So what are we three for three on shitting on stories? By the way. That's never happened. Right? You've never fucking turned through a left turn arrow. And there's a CHP sitting there watching you turn through the left hand arrow. And he went. Let you go. You know how to drive besides that.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

He's asking about a fucking accident.

[Allison Rosen]

Shut the fuck up. Right? No. You've never done that in front of a cop.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I've been in two accidents.

[Allison Rosen]

Have you ever turned. Tell me you've turned left in front of a CHP guy.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I've never been pulled over.

[Allison Rosen]

Right. No one lets you go.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I've never been pulled over.

[Allison Rosen]

Then shut up. Where were we?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I'm just saying it could happen.

[Allison Rosen]

You're not saying it could happen, you're saying, you know, when it doesn't.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

That's what we're talking about, right?

[Allison Rosen]

When we used to drive home from carpet cleaning at age 18 or 19, Ray would be driving his mom's Honeybee Dots.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It was mine then.

[Allison Rosen]

Thank you.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I inherited it.

[Allison Rosen]

Automatic Dots. And Ray would just go through red lights and. I mean, I'm not talking about. What I'm doing with the arrows, is no cars are coming and the lights green and the arrows red. There's no danger factor at all. What Ray would do is blow through major red lights. Lights and scream as he was going at the thing.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

And I just have your hands closed and your hands on the. Your hands on the. On the ceiling of the car.

[Allison Rosen]

And I just.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Your eyes closed and scream.

[Allison Rosen]

And when you're in the passenger seat, you're like, no. Because it'd be 2am but it'd be a major, major intersection in the Valley.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, Ray, could you at least see.

[Gina Grad]

That there were no cars in their eyes shut?

[Allison Rosen]

No. Boy, if the timing was wrong, we would definitely not be here.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I did got pulled.

[Allison Rosen]

I got pulled over, which would be half good.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah, I got pulled over.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, you did?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah, I did. And he fucking berated me. Screamed at me.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm with you. I'm with him on this one, because you can't. You could have killed a family.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

No, but I didn't. And guess what? Since I got pulled over, ever since that moment, I have never done that again.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, the negative. Negative stereotypes about the Dutch seem to originate from the time when the Netherlands was at war with Britain. Oh, this sounds about right. You remember the Bunch of Dutch, 1652. Yeah, yeah. 1784. Anyway. Oh, four wars. Sorry. There was a lot of wars. Anyway, the stereotypes are basically shit that the English cooked up about them, you know, basically talking shit back when. Now when you talk shit about someone, you're like, fuck you. Fucking douche ass. Fucking homo ass fuck. Back then it was like, you're thrifty.

[Gina Grad]

You speak ill of someone.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. You're super thrifty with your money. Yeah. And you have doors that are of two. Yeah. Take that.

[Gina Grad]

Your shoes are wooden.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. We're gonna win for sure, girl. Pay. Yeah. Super pragmatic. When you go out to eat. Eat. And fix your door jams. All right, I said good day.

[Gina Grad]

Insults have come a long way.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, let's see. Wallace. Hey, Adam.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Say hi to me.

[Brian Bishop]

Wallace.

[Allison Rosen]

Just partially inspired by you, I decided.

[Brian Bishop]

To get out of my comfort zone a few years ago. Invested in a four plus.

[Allison Rosen]

Nice.

[Brian Bishop]

And the building's 1911. And as tenants are moving out, we've.

[Allison Rosen]

Been upgrading the units, making them look a little nicer.

[Gina Grad]

Is a fourplex just like a small apartment complex?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah, four units.

[Gina Grad]

Well, no, duplex, four units.

[Allison Rosen]

Ray lives in a four plex.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

All right, what the fuck is wrong with you? Go ahead, Wallace.

[Allison Rosen]

Trying to get you a house.

[Brian Bishop]

And so I've got some windows, original windows that weren't working at all. And a buddy of mine told me how to take them apart and get the sash cord in, and I did that.

[Allison Rosen]

Sash cord? You're talking about the weighted cord that's inside the wall. The old big long iron dildo.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I'm saying it for the laypeople inside. Like if you were Superman, you had X ray vision and you go to an old house with. With the sash, the window that lifts up. You know why? Double hung, usually double hung. What keeps it up. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's a rope that goes up, comes through, and then inside the wall is a big long iron weight that just like has a hook on the top of it and the rope goes to it and it just sort of. It makes it.

[Adam Carolla]

I never knew that I was.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Doesn't even know. And that's how all my windows are.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. It makes it buoyant. If the weight's too heavy, it's going to fly all the way up, and if it's too light, it's going to slide all the way down.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It countermeasures so you can it open. Open it and close it wherever you will.

[Allison Rosen]

Sort of sits neutrally. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So anyway, I stupidly assumed the whole mechanism was in the window itself.

[Allison Rosen]

It is. Now back in the day, it was a sash weight, and they don't do them anymore. Now it's some sort of friction thing or something like that, vinyl or whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's not in the wall.

[Allison Rosen]

No. Wait a minute. They have cables that spring wounds. Right. But it's all in the units, not hanging in the wall.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

These ones are hanging the.

[Allison Rosen]

The wall. Sorry. Go ahead, Wallace.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, so I did the bottom window. The top window is really, really painted shut, and I didn't bother doing that at all. So now that I got the bottom one fixed, I realized that the top window, the bottom of it hangs about a half inch lower than the top of the bottom window. Before, this didn't matter because the window was painted shut. But now the latch does not connect. So I decided to put a little scrap of wood underneath there to Raise it. But the wood keeps splitting when I try to screw the latch mechanism on there.

[Allison Rosen]

And I was wondering what I should do. Okay, pre drill the hole.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It looks like it's a hack job, too. By the way, congratulations on your fucking fourplex.

[Allison Rosen]

What are you saying? Right? Just because you're a renter, right. Just because you fucking rent doesn't mean you have to take it out on Wallace. Fuck off, Wallace.

[Gina Grad]

It's not a helpful segment.

[Allison Rosen]

Hey, Wallace. Yeah, sorry. First thing I would do is try to get those things to line up. Now he's talking about the top of the one and the bottom where they meet in the middle and then they can't get the little thing locked.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I've already checked that.

[Allison Rosen]

When you take little pieces of wood and you try to put a wood screw through them, they just crack in half. If you took a paint stirrer stick and you cut off a 2 inch piece and you start putting wood screws through it, just bust right in half. So you must put a pilot hole in there. You must pre drill it. You must pre drill things. If you're going to put the screw toward the end especially, it's going to snap in half. It's going to crack. Even if it's a long piece of wood, it'll crack it. So use glue. Use a wood screw, but use a pilot. Make a pilot hole out of it. And what are you doing? Jacking it up a quarter inch or so. A half inch?

[Brian Bishop]

Yep. Quarter inch to a third of an inch.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Wait a minute, Wallace. Why don't you just break the paint out and then just push the window up so it lines up? Because it's obviously sitting too low or too high or whatever it is. You can adjust it without being a hat.

[Brian Bishop]

The top window, that's not in the right spot.

[Allison Rosen]

And there's storm windows on the outside. I can't get to it.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

The top window, though, all you have to do is cut it and then push it up in place. Is it a double hung window or a single hung window?

[Allison Rosen]

It ain't working. He knows it's not working.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

He doesn't know.

[Allison Rosen]

Wallace, pilot hole.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Wallace, no one likes you.

[Allison Rosen]

Pilot hole and glue.

[Brian Bishop]

Excellent. I will take that advice and run.

[Allison Rosen]

Thank you.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Yeah, he's probably a really nice guy.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know why I need to know, but I do. What's the glue for.

[Allison Rosen]

Taking little pieces of wood and trying to get them onto things? And putting screws and things? It's just. It always cracks. It never works. You let the gr. Let the glue do the work, you know, so once you get the screw, you don't have to torque down on it too tight, drill a hole through it so it's not pushing out as you put the screw in and just kind of snug it up and let the glue do all the work.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Glue do the work. And then you put the screw in after the fact. It's just easier. And it stays then. Yeah, Adam is right.

[Allison Rosen]

Thank you. So is Lifelock. Ah, Lifelock ultimate baby. We love LifeLock over here. You gotta have identity theft protection, man. They're coming after you. You got a story about this, Allison? Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen to how awful this is. An Illinois woman is scheduled to be sentenced for identity theft after she pleaded guilty to stealing tens of thousands of dollars from elderly patients while she worked as a caretaker. She used the money to pay for cars, trips, and even her kids college tuition. Well, that last part, but still.

[Allison Rosen]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

What kind of person. The caretaker not taking very good care of the elderly.

[Allison Rosen]

You're talking to a cat. That gives everyone back their cleaning deposit less. Whatever they've actually rung up. So I wouldn't know about.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone's as honest as you.

[Allison Rosen]

Everyone's a pile of crap. That's why you need LifeLock ultimate, baby. Sooner or later, someone's gonna get hold of you, man. They're gonna get that computer, that website. They're gonna hack into your things, they're gonna get your passwords, Social Security, and your kaput can't be kaput. No, it can't be curtains for you and your credit score, because it will be. So you use LifeLock Ultimate. It protects your good name, bank accounts, credit. It monitors your credit and it takes care of everything. You need LifeLock Ultimate, Dawson. You don't need to change your life. You just need to help protect yourself with LifeLock Ultimate. Visit LifeLock.com and enter promo code Adam to save time. 10% on your LifeLock ultimate membership. That's promo code [e-mail] to get our special 10% discount. Network does not cover all transactions. All right, let's see. James Gunn is out there. Gonna bring him in in one second. First, I can't get that song Send me an angel out of my head. It's stuck in my head. It's so fucking horrible. It's so painful. Real life, I think it's called. It's horrible. It's so horrible. It's so bad. Weird organ now. And I started thinking to myself, there it is.

[Gina Grad]

All I know is it's good to be lucky in love.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

You Hate this song.

[Adam Carolla]

We all did.

[Allison Rosen]

Ray, who was listening to John Height and Graham Parker when everyone else was listening to horrible shitty music. All right. Absolutely. All right, Stop it.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I'm.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It's hurting my head.

[Allison Rosen]

Fire. There's a lot of streets on fire back then.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

And there was a drum machine.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, like, these guys are so flaming.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

What are they doing?

[Allison Rosen]

I started thinking to myself, I need a pallet cleanser for my brain. I can't take it anymore. And I. I.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Switch from 101.

[Allison Rosen]

Come on.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what a palate cleanser for your brain should be called? A brainwash.

[Allison Rosen]

A brain wash.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's not.

[Allison Rosen]

I know. There's another word. I decided the only way to do it now, I started thinking about songs I love by the Jayhawks and bands like that. And then I thought, no. Oh, here it comes.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

And kiss me.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, Wait, but you made out.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

The girl with the song.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I. I'm a conscientious objector to this. I listen to John Height and Graham Parker song. All right? So I thought, I need something to get the song out of my head. And then I thought, instead of a good song, I need a song that's worse than this song. And then I thought, well, how do you torture. How are you going to find a song that's worse than this song? And then. And then I was sitting around with Matt and Mike back there yesterday, and.

[Adam Carolla]

I. Oh, after you almost killed them with your jump rope?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. And I knew what I was doing. I came up with a song that is worse than this song. Brian, do you have it?

[Gina Grad]

Did anyone tell me what it was? Oh, yeah, it's from yesterday.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, well, he's got a fucking brain tumor, Gary. Give him a break.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Nice.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Dutch door.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Now, here's what I'm saying.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

This is tff, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Lynette and I argue about a lot of. But we are totally simpatico on this. Why do you know the words to this song? Two stupid pipe slaps. Enjoy running. Why do we know this piece of. It's horrible. Hold on, hold on. I'm about to break it.

[Gina Grad]

It's a positive message.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Is it tff?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Pesh mode.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, I thought it was Tears for Fears too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's the mode.

[Allison Rosen]

Of tier shirs. I don't know. It's. It's. It's British wine rock thing. It's gay wine rock. It's all fell under the same pile with me. It's this guy's whining.

[Gina Grad]

Forgot about that.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

I'm not even gonna be able to drive home now.

[Adam Carolla]

Where did you guys stand on the Human League?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, they blew Ash there.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

But it was fun at the time.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, they sucked. I like it. I like, I like it. When they were talking through how he picked her up at the restaurant and like that's far. It makes me want to vomit.

[Gina Grad]

This is their take on civil rights. 25 years later.

[Allison Rosen]

It's worse than Send Me an Angel then, right? Yes, we took a vote.

[Adam Carolla]

But I mean this is a never ending. Like put down that domino. There's going to be another one worse than this, right?

[Allison Rosen]

What are we going to and what.

[Adam Carolla]

Ultimately, where will we end up if we keep having to find a worse song?

[Allison Rosen]

I. Oh, number five, the extended. I just try to keep going the extended dance version.

[Gina Grad]

I mean like I think it's also.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Association cuz we were so depressed back then. You don't think so granted.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a horrible song, right? Horrible.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

It is. I'm not saying it's not. It is a horrible song.

[Allison Rosen]

We were had horrible lives, but this is a horrible song now can we say stop it though, please? Here's what I always think about. I would have loved to been in the room when somebody pitched the extended dance version of this song. Like I'd be like, like I have.

[Adam Carolla]

A handful of jacks and I'm going.

[Allison Rosen]

To drop them on a metal plate. Yes. Wait till the remake comes out in few months.

[Adam Carolla]

I wonder what James Gunn thinks of all this music.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, we'll find out in person. It songs sucks so fucking bad. I would have been like, hey, why don't we see if we can figure out a way to, you know, take AIDS and super size it. Like AIDS is, you know, good, but it's not good enough. We should make it bigger. Like why the extended dance version of the thing that fucking it's. It blows fucking hippo ass at 4 minutes and 11 seconds. Do we really need it to to get to six minutes? Isn't it horrible 21 seconds in? Aren't we all fucking annoyed and want to take our own lives? Why do we need the extended dance version? Why is it by the way that only shitty songs get extended? Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Where's the long version of good songs?

[Allison Rosen]

I would like to hear Once Over Twice by X. I'd like to hear the fucking extended dance version of that song. Was that song the shortest song ever? 2 minutes and 28 seconds of nothing But Bliss.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Sovereign Laughter Week, by the way.

[Allison Rosen]

You saw it?

[Adam Carolla]

You did?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Where?

[Ray Oldhoffer]

Played four nights at the Roxy. Fantastic Yeah, I did all their albums.

[Allison Rosen]

Love that. All right, James Gunn is out there and we're in here. So we're gonna tell everybody, then go to Aceontheroof.com and check out new episodes of Ray Show. My show Ace on the house. And that is on itunes every Saturday. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. James Gunn, dear, dear friend of the show, James Gunn. Beck in studio. Very excited that he's directed Guardians of the Galaxy. I was just watching an extended dance version of the trailer.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, there's many extended versions and short versions and all sorts of versions of the trailer.

[Allison Rosen]

This is an insane concept for a movie. I know it existed, but. But it wasn't this sort of in the pantheon of Spider man and Superman.

[Brian Bishop]

No, it's not. They weren't very well known comic book characters, but they were sort of cult favorites. And Marvel wanted to sort of stretch out into the cosmic universe and do something outside of Earth. And that's really what Guardians of the Galaxy is. It's moving into outer space with the Marvel comics characters.

[Allison Rosen]

Now. This is 100 plus million dollar project. Yeah. Yeah. So that's a big step for you, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's a huge. My last movie cost $3 million.

[Allison Rosen]

So this is more.

[Brian Bishop]

It's. It's a little.

[Allison Rosen]

It's.

[Brian Bishop]

It's significantly more. If I had a calculator here, I can show it specifically to you.

[Allison Rosen]

How much more now? So how was first off stepping into it? Was there any trepidation? Was it like, oh, boy?

[Brian Bishop]

From my point of view? Yeah, not really. I was pretty excited and maybe overly confident, I don't know. But it's been a pretty smooth ride. I find that, you know, actually making a movie at this level is a lot easier than making a movie for $3 million, as you probably know in some ways, because it's. It's. I really have the best people in the business around me the entire time. So the best production designer, best ads, best everything, and it makes me. I have to do a lot less. You know, when I make a 3 million dollar movie, I have some people I really trust around me, and then I'm doing a lot of other people's jobs while I'm making that film. Film.

[Allison Rosen]

You're right. Right. Because what happens is you say you have a lot of conversations with people like this, where you go, this is a construction site. So people need to be wearing jeans and T shirts and stuff, but they can't be brand new, you understand? They have to have like, paint on them and stuff. They have to look like they've worked in them before. Right. You understand?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And they'll go like, in tool belts. I'll go get some tool belts. Yeah, but they can't be brand new. You have to make them look. And then you start worrying about everything else but your job.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a lot of what I mean, even, like, you know, continuity. You know, somebody's in one scene with a blood spot on his face at one point and the next scene that's in another, you know, I mean, these people, you don't have to worry about that around these people for the most part, Every once in a while, somebody does something extremely stupid. On a big movie too. But for the most part, the people are the best in the business. And I was in England, where people are probably better. Really. Honestly, the crews in England are amazing because, like, our AD was the son of the guy who AD for Stanley Kubrick and our line producer was. Was the producer for David Lean. And they kind of keep it in the family. So you get these people who, you know, the class system works to your benefit in a way because people kind of get in a job and they stay there, you know, so somebody is just a plasterer their entire life. So, like, the way the sets look in England, that's probably the biggest difference. Those people are truly craftsmen. And it's night and day from anything I've seen here in the States on a big movie or a small movie.

[Allison Rosen]

Also, I would imagine, or at least this is what I always say, it's time when you're on a budget, you do cheap movies, you have to keep hurrying along. And hurrying is not the friend of art.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that's the biggest. That's the biggest thing. I mean, on other movies, it was always like, I imagined the movie I wanted to make. I planned out the shots, and then I would have to compensate for whatever the budget was and kind of downplay everything on this movie, Anything I could imagine, I could kind of do for the most part, you know, I could imagine any shot and I could make that happen. Happen through a combination of practical and visual effects.

[Adam Carolla]

How did you get involved with it?

[Brian Bishop]

I. You know, listen, I've known the Marvel guys for a little while. I went in there and I talked about it and I, too. I thought it was kind of a weird idea for a movie. And, you know, they pitched me on it. There were other directors that I was. I was competing with at the time and I wasn't sure. And I was driving home and all Of a sudden, I could see the whole movie visually in my mind, exactly what I would do with it. And the truth is, there's a kid. Kid I loved, like, Star wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark and these sort of big, fun action adventure movies. I love space movies. And so the opportunity to create something like that, which is something I always wanted to do but never really thought I'd be able to do, I suddenly saw that possibility. So it was. It was incredibly exciting. And then it really all came together in my head. And then I competed very, very difficult, you know, very hard for it.

[Allison Rosen]

How do you compete for it?

[Brian Bishop]

You have to go. Like, I met with the first two producers, and then they had to fly me into Wilmington to meet with Kevin Feige and Lou Desposito, who are the heads of Marvel. And I had to just pitch them on my concept, the movie, everything from, you know, how I saw the movie visually to, you know, what the, you know, what who I saw, you know, casting in the film, the music, everything. And I just went in there with this, like, iPad presentation and showed them all the stuff. And I storyboarded, like, the first sequence in the movie and showed them that I knew how to deal with big action scenes. And, yeah, I guess they were convinced.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, it strikes me that you being good in the room is good for this, because sometimes directors can be a little introverted and, like, Roman Polanski's a good director, but between the accent and his stature, I don't know if he'd blow you away. You're in the room. But James Gunn's a talk and good on his feet, you know, And I don't. I don't know if you're performing background or. I don't know how much of that helps to sell, but I'm guessing the presentation helps, right?

[Brian Bishop]

I think from the beginning, I mean, me pitch, you know, because I used to be a screenwriter, you know, and that's how I made my money. And I think going in and pitching was really one of my strong suits. So I was able to do that. And I think I'm able to clearly state what my intentions are. And I think it works not only in the room as a director, but it works on set, too. I mean, to be able to clearly say how I see this movie, what it is visually, what it is emotionally, and explain that to the actors and the production designers and, you know, the rest of the crew. So they all have one concept of what the movie is. I think it makes it a lot easier. And I think this movie has been a nice process for people because I think, as opposed. Sometimes you hear people who are on movies and the movie comes out and they're like, oh, fuck. It came out pretty good. But I had no idea what I was making the whole time. And I was kind of left in the dark. I didn't know if it was going to be good or not.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, I know, you know, big movies like that. And for me, I think that people kind of knew the movie they were making the whole time.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, this. I'm assuming you're happy with it.

[Brian Bishop]

I am. I'm actually really happy with it.

[Allison Rosen]

And you're really happy with it. And also seeing how it's going to come out very shortly, other people are happy with it, it seems.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And they're responding well to it. And so the way this business works is we don't need to see what it does, the opening to have other offers come your way based on what you've done, because they've seen it already and it's going to be nice when it opens nicely. But the fact that you took this multimillion dollar ship and sort of steered it across the Atlantic and pulled it in nicely without putting a dent in it probably means there's going to be other vessels for you to skipper.

[Brian Bishop]

It's true. I mean, I'm actually in a somewhat weird position because if the movie does well, then I'm gonna make the sequel.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

And if it, if it does okay, then I've been offered. Well, I've already been offered other movies, but I can only do those movies if I don't do the sequel. So it's, it's, it's a weird situation.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, it's a good problem to have.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a great, I mean, total.

[Gina Grad]

First, I have a question about, about. You mentioned that everyone knew what kind of movie you were making, which I imagine is incredibly helpful. Yeah, but my question is on a movie like this, that's, that's in a way, it's a tweener, but it's got comedy, it's sci fi action. It's maybe a dark comedy in some instances, or at least from what I can tell, but it's got a lot of elements to it. How do you get everyone on the same page to make the same movie? Because it's a. I imagine what I can tell from so far, the trailers, the commercials, the tone is very specific.

[Brian Bishop]

The tone's very specific.

[Gina Grad]

How do you get people on board with that?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I mean, I just described what the tone is. I mean, for me, it was really about, you know, from the, you know, the outset of this film, it was about making a movie movie. Blade Runner and Alien came out in, you know, I guess, the late 70s, early 80s, and they changed science fiction. You know, all of a sudden, everything became very dark. That was very colorful before that. And this movie, I wanted to take the grittiness and the groundedness of movies like that, you know, so that the characters and everything was real, but at the same time bring, like, the bright colors of the pulp science fiction movies of the 1960s and early 70s back. And so there was this amalgamation of feelings and then also just what was in the script itself, which I think, you know, I wrote the screenplay, so it has, you know, very specific. James.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, we didn't know you wrote.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I wrote the screenplay too, so that's pretty awesome. There was an original.

[Adam Carolla]

Did it pitch you as director to yourself as screenwriter?

[Brian Bishop]

I didn't pitch myself as I was hired as a director. There was an original screenplay that. That was fine. And then there was a second screenplay coming in that I didn't know. You know, I was hopeful I was going to. To be on board with it. And then it didn't exactly speak to me. It actually came in on the day that I signed my contract. And I always knew I was probably going to, like, rewrite the dialogue and the action sequences, which is what I did anyway when I was a screenwriter. But I didn't know I was going to rewrite the whole movie, which is what happened.

[Allison Rosen]

Who gets credit for writing it?

[Brian Bishop]

Me and the original screenwriter.

[Allison Rosen]

The guy fucked it up. Oh, the guy did a decent job at the beginning.

[Brian Bishop]

The very first. Yeah, the very first. She got the ball rolling.

[Adam Carolla]

So someone did a whole job and we're never gonna hear that person's name.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, well, that's the second person did a shitty job.

[Brian Bishop]

The second. That's what I expected, a shitty job. It was just didn't speak to me.

[Allison Rosen]

It wasn't James Gunn level Tim Hurling. He'll land on his feet, don't worry.

[Gina Grad]

Have you ever gone through the process, the storyboarding, the pitch basically, of, you know, this is what I can do. This is how I see it going. And not had it come through for you. I imagine that it's.

[Brian Bishop]

And not get the job? I mean.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it's just like a bunch of wasted effort.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Not the storyboarding like, that was. This was a weir for this movie. Like I've always attributed to any success that I've had in Hollywood. Is the fact that I don't give a shit. And I never have given a shit like it's always been. The truth is, I like making movies, but I probably like not working more than making movies. So every time I go out and I pitch an idea, I'm like, if this happens, that's great, but if it doesn't happen, I get to lay around and fucking do whatever I want. So it's like there's always, like, part of me that just doesn't care. And I always thought that was why I did well with pitching, but this was. I really cared. I mean, I really wanted this job badly.

[Allison Rosen]

Works good on chicks, and it was strange.

[Brian Bishop]

It does. It really does.

[Gina Grad]

Present him with a storyboard. Here's what I'm gonna do to you.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, I was. Oh, no, you do anal. Look, B5. Look at it.

[Adam Carolla]

There was a rewrite.

[Allison Rosen]

You see the sketch.

[Gina Grad]

I know you're considering other guys for the job, but I'm the man.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't care about having anal, but I will if you want to. I also enjoy not having anal just as much as having anal.

[Allison Rosen]

I told Mike and Matt, the Porcelain Punisher, Fonda Lear. You gotta do a lot of shit for free at every level. You think? I told him this afternoon, two hours ago, when I was giving him one of my fireside lectures where they sit on the sofa and I yell at them about life and the business.

[Adam Carolla]

Their lives have changed immeasurably since Adam started bestowing his appeasement on bats.

[Allison Rosen]

Put on 11 pounds. Yeah, yeah, good. So it's having a positive effect on.

[Adam Carolla]

It's working already.

[Allison Rosen]

He's eating his feelings.

[Brian Bishop]

So that I like.

[Allison Rosen]

That's good.

[Brian Bishop]

That's good advice.

[Allison Rosen]

You don't get it. You think you work for free at the beginning, like, you intern and shit like that, and then you become a professional, then you stop doing shit for free. Oh, no. There's plenty of pitches, plenty of outlines, plenty of storyboarding, plenty of meetings, plenty of everything, and nothing comes of 70% of them. And you never stop, stop doing shit for free. And this notion of, yeah, it's a bunch of wasted effort. Well, it is in one way.

[Gina Grad]

I meant more. It feels like.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, it is specifically to that project. But there's two things that aren't wasted about. Your batting average is never going to be 1000%. So if you're going to go.500, you're going to need to strike out every once in a while just to have that batting average. But also, the energy isn't wasted because you've gotten a little bit better at what you do, and you learned, maybe don't go this direction, or maybe there was a reason why I lost out to this guy or that gal, and I didn't get it. So I'll learn from this experience and move on. So it's never really truly wasted, but it does strike me, even at a part where you get to a pretty advanced place in your career, still tons of freebies.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I mean, I hear about Spielberg putting together projects that then he can't quite get financed. So, I mean, it is everywhere.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. At every level.

[Adam Carolla]

So do you think when. When that happens for Spielberg, do you think he has that guttering, like, oh, God, I'm a fraud feeling?

[Brian Bishop]

No, you don't. I don't know.

[Gina Grad]

I draw tears with an Oscar.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't really, you know, fraud.

[Allison Rosen]

I think.

[Brian Bishop]

See, I think people have different insecurities. I don't think everybody thinks they're a fraud.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, perhaps not that, but, I mean, do you think that he's like. I mean, I just wonder, does he feel like. Like, is his confidence level? Is it level?

[Allison Rosen]

I doubt it.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, I bet that there's still some. You know, I mean, I think that when you get to be a guy who's been making movies for so long, I don't know, I have no idea what Spielberg feels. But for me, if I can imagine, if I was. If I did a bunch of hit movies and then I was older and I was still trying to make hit movies, I go, oh, my God, I hope that I can still make hit movies, you know, because there's very few guys that, you know, kind of go on and keep making, whether they're hits or good movies, keep making good movies. When they get older, there's most guys, you know, lose it. I think it's because they stop caring.

[Allison Rosen]

But Coppola told me when I was interviewing him some years ago, he just said I couldn't make. I don't get to make a movie that I want to make in this town. They would let me make a gangster movie, meaning some sort of Godfather Part, whatever, something like that. But not just a movie that I wanted to make. So Coppola understands it. I don't. He wasn't pouting when he said it. He just sort of understood the reality of a very harsh business. And in a lot of ways, it's sort of like professional athletes. You know, when you're. You know, Derek Jeter's retiring, you know, and it's like he's 40 and he can say all he wants about playing till he's 45, but there's some 21 year old from Minnesota who's better than he is and will be in the next year and a half. And that's how it is. Toss him out.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that's why the Scorsese and the, you know, the Spielbergs and the people like that who really do go, Kurosawa was directing movies. Really old.

[Allison Rosen]

The James Guns guns.

[Gina Grad]

Speaking of the crazy work directors do, even legendary directors. You mentioned Kubrick earlier. Yeah, I saw the Kubrick exhibit at LACMA here in la.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it was pretty cool. Did you go, yeah, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, you see all the. There's a whole wing. He did so few movies. They dedicated a little wing to each of his movies. There was one whole wing dedicated to this Napoleon project. He wanted to get off the ground. He did an insane amount of work. Wanted to do a movie about Napoleon, a biopic about Napoleon. It was gonna be a big movie and it never got an insane amount.

[Brian Bishop]

And you go, it's a shame. I mean, you'd want to see that film. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Enough to copy that part of a museum.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Harvey Keitel's pissed.

[Gina Grad]

Think about what.

[Allison Rosen]

They were both 29 year old. Harvey Keitel.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Full frontal, too.

[Allison Rosen]

Just like in Bella.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

All right. Should we do a little news? James Gunn? There's a part of me, you know, I've mixed feelings because I want wild success for everything that you touch. On the other hand, you know, I'd like to see you come back every once in a while.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll come back. I mean, listen, here's the thing. This is like, I love this place, and you guys have been great to me. It's the same thing. Like, now that, like, you know, there's a lot of producers that are coming to me with projects and bringing me projects. Projects. And the people that I gravitate towards are the people that were offering me projects after my first movie, you know, because I know those are the people that actually give a about my actual aesthetic, what I like doing. Everybody else is kind of hopping on the bandwagon, so I'm pretty.

[Allison Rosen]

We're grandfathered in.

[Brian Bishop]

You're grandfathered in. You got to know that about you.

[Adam Carolla]

I think you've changed.

[Allison Rosen]

Doesn't he seem.

[Brian Bishop]

I did act like a big dick in the hallway.

[Allison Rosen]

That's true. I must say. I don't recognize those frames or the head it's hanging on. Anyway, Allison, let's do some news.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

The news with Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

She'll read some news from her iPad.

[Brian Bishop]

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

[Allison Rosen]

It's Allison. Yeah, Allison. Yeah. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with. Zip it, cunt. It's Allison. Yes, Allison. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So, big, big news. A plane was shot down. It was flying on the way from Amsterdam to Malaysia. It was a Boeing 777, a Malaysian Airlines passenger jet. It crashed.

[Allison Rosen]

At least we know where this one is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, crashed in Eastern Ukraine.

[Gina Grad]

Malaysian Airlines again.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Holy shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Ukrainian officials said that terrorists shot down the aircraft. And I had heard there was talk that it was pro Russian separatists who shot it down. The pro Russian separatists deny that they did it. However, we got involved in investigating the crash. So Ukraine's president accepted an offer for the US to investigate the crash, and the US has concluded that the airline was shot down. A radar system. Because initially there was a question of, well, how did it just crash or what happened. No, it was deliberately shot down. Like, blown out of the sky. Radar system saw Surface to Air Missiles system turn on and track an aircraft right before the plane went down on Thursday. It was a buk Surface to Air missile system. Are you familiar with the buk?

[Allison Rosen]

I'm sure it's an acronym for something, but either way, you know, this isn't like Al Qaeda, you know, sticky bomb in a sock. This is like Russian shit. This is high end shit. The fuck's up with Russia? Like, why they. I know I scream about this all the time. They're so fucked up over there. They fucked up the world so badly. They've killed so many fucking people. The whole Cold War and everything else, and now what they do to their own people. And Stalin and 20 million people dead and all. They're such a piece of shit. What the fuck's over there? Can somebody fucking wake these people up and go, knock it off? What year is it? What's going on? It's so crazy. Like, you just go, it's 2014. What's going on, Russia? What the hell's going on in Israel, Palestine? What the fuck's happening? What year is it? Like, how long is this shit gonna go on?

[Brian Bishop]

And it seems so hopeful. Not that long ago.

[Allison Rosen]

There's just no way. When all this shit. I remember, like, when you took 1975 and everyone was talking about trouble in the Middle east and Jimmy Carter and all this kind of stuff. We have all these summits and all this shit, and of Cold War and everything like that. If you would have said 2014, where do you think we're going to be? Every single one of my mom's hippie friends would have been. Oh, fuck. Well, shit, this stuff will be cleared up by then. Yeah, that for sure. Will all be flying around in hovercrafts, powered on, good vibes. And this will be gone. There'll be no. It's no fucking difference. 2014, it's the same. A little more technology to shoot bigger planes out of the sky.

[Adam Carolla]

And I believe, and I don't have the information in front of me, Gary, maybe you can help me. It's 18 years to the day that the TWA flight was interesting. Was.

[Allison Rosen]

Was taken out of the Lockerbie. Oh, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Which one?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, Lockerbie would have been 18 plus years, I would imagine.

[Gina Grad]

That's OCW 800, wasn't it?

[Allison Rosen]

There was. Lockerbie was one of the big ones. And then we'll figure it out.

[Gina Grad]

I was in college, so I'm thinking It was 800. I feel stupid if I'm wrong.

[Allison Rosen]

We'll do the math. Anyway, the 777 is a huge plane.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's a breakdown of at least 280 of the passengers right now. So 154 were Dutch. We know what died. 27 were Australians, 23 were Malaysians, 11 were Indonesians, 6 were from the UK, 4 were from Germany, 4 were from Belgium, 3 were from the Philippines, and 1 was Canadian.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, what did you say? 164 were what?

[Adam Carolla]

154 were Dutch.

[Brian Bishop]

Were Dutch.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. See, I just. I just wonder, this particular plane, why.

[Allison Rosen]

This one just in their airspace?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's probably the one that showed up at the right time.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't. I mean, here's the whole thing. Hmm. When you have. It's sort of like when Jimmy's cousin Sal got the Taser and he brought it into the office. How long is that gonna sit on his desk before he starts hitting everyone at the man show in the fucking neck with the Taser? It's impossible. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

TWA flight 800. Sorry about that.

[Allison Rosen]

How. How long are you gonna have surface to air missiles just sort of sit around before you go, huh? There's something up there, Paul. Brian's right, everybody wonder if we could get to it? Yes. Now, where was that? Over.

[Adam Carolla]

On July 17, 1996, TWA Flight 800 had taken off from JFK in New York on its way to Paris, when 12 minutes into the flight, the plane exploded over the water near Long Island.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, but we never got to the bottom of that one. They thought it was a. Well, no, no. Here's what happened.

[Gina Grad]

Here's an explanation.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. First, everyone kept saying they thought they saw a missile fired from the beach or something like that and it turned out it was a electrical spark and the fuel tank exploded and that was it. But anyway, another 777, which are amazing planes, is gone and I just. Could we just fucking find the people that did it? Just fucking put a surface to air missile up their ass. No, up their urethra. I think that'd be more painful anyway. Sad but true. All right. The fuck?

[Adam Carolla]

And the Israeli military launched a ground operation into Gaza. A lot of hardship news today.

[Brian Bishop]

This is great. This is great.

[Adam Carolla]

Following some of the most intense fighting in the 10 day face off between Israel and Hamas, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Defense Minister Moshe Yalon ordered the ground action to destroy tunnels from Gaza into Israeli territory. The adviser said Hamas terrorists used such a funnel to infiltrate Israel on Thursday morning to launch an attack. But the IDF Israel Defense Forces thwarted the actual action.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, sure. Those kids will have their straightened out by the weekend. How fucking.

[Brian Bishop]

I remember last time I came in there were a bunch of news stories about silly little things that were happening with celebrities.

[Allison Rosen]

We'll get that.

[Adam Carolla]

I have a lighter story, but first I need to hear about Valvoline.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, let's do another story.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Well, big news in the comic book world.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, good. Now I'm comfortable.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'd like to get both of your opinions because I know that nothing happens in that world world that Adam doesn't have an opinion on.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, I know what this is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So Marvel Comics is turning Thor into a woman.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And they're saying this is not like some special female Thor. Here's the quote from the writer. This is not she Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is Thor. This is the Thor of the Marvel universe. But it's unlike any Thor we've ever seen before.

[Brian Bishop]

Because she has a vagina.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

She's female. Other than that, it's the same one.

[Allison Rosen]

What?

[Brian Bishop]

Who's the writer?

[Adam Carolla]

Do you know Jason Aaron?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah. I actually know who that is. He's a nice guy. He's a good. He's a good writer. Yeah, well, but I don't, I don't.

[Allison Rosen]

Zero pussy in high school or less than zero he owed pussy when he left high school.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. But you know, like, I love weird fetishes. I'm very interested in people that have weird fetishes. And One of the things that, you know, if you search it on the Internet, there's a lot of people, and I'm not saying Marvel is servicing this weird fetish, but there's a whole, like, huge collection of pornography that is about switching one sex of a character into another sex of a character. So mostly switching males into females. And for some reason that turns people on. And I can't really understand why you want to see, you know, the female Spider man and then fuck her.

[Allison Rosen]

You telling me, Marvel, it's because you.

[Adam Carolla]

Want to fuck Spider man, but you don't want to be gay?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't. I can't tell if it's like you want to fuck Spider man, but you don't want to be gay and you don't want to admit it, but then you can have, you know, imagine yourself fucking a female Spider man and. Or if it's like, I don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

So you're saying that Marge Simpson with a cock and balls is not a turn on? Is that what you're saying?

[Brian Bishop]

That's a totally different thing.

[Allison Rosen]

That's hot. So she, what, has a golden tampon?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I mean, here's a photo of her or an image to show you guys and. And awfully masculine looking still, you know.

[Brian Bishop]

She'S gotta be muscular. She's Thor.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she's got the same weaponry that Thor has.

[Allison Rosen]

She's got a mask.

[Brian Bishop]

She has a mask, though.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, But I mean, her upper body, like, that's he. Man with tits.

[Allison Rosen]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

She ra.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. All right, nerds, rejoice. Let me tell you something. I just want to tell all you guys out there, there's something called pornography that you can just find on the Internet.

[Gina Grad]

Tell me more about, about this pornography.

[Allison Rosen]

Beat off to it. And then you can go to a place called work and call to life, raise things called kids. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, are you saying. So people that read comic books, they only jerk off? The comic books.

[Allison Rosen]

Whatever. Just enough already. Done with the comic books. I know, it's bad timing. Graphic novels, Please. It's a comic book.

[Brian Bishop]

I live my whole life reading comic books. I love them. I love them.

[Gina Grad]

Go see Guardians of the Galaxy.

[Brian Bishop]

Go see Guardians of the Galaxy. I'll get first in theaters.

[Allison Rosen]

No, you know what? I was. No, I'll tell you what I like about that. It's not like what I can't stand. I was laughing with everyone before. It's like, oh, no, this is dark and it's raining and it's. You know, this guy's deeply troubled and all that. Kind of shit. And it's like, oh, really? It's not one about a guy got a ton of pussy in high school as a captain of a football team. When he took his helmet off, his hair looked better. Because that's what normally they're about. But this is different. But Guardians of the Galaxy is just completely insane.

[Brian Bishop]

One of the weird things is I changed from taking it from the comic books to the movie screen. I changed a lot of things. And you get a little afraid because comic book fans are very serious about what they like and what they don't like. And I've been feeling very, very lucky because of all the changes we've made to the story. There's been very little people who have gotten upset that they really liked what they've seen so far. Until one little tiny thing, which is Michael Rooker in the movie plays who you might know from. He was in Walking Dead and hello, Cliffhanger. And. And he. Yeah, Cliffhanger. He plays a character named Yondu who has this power. He can whistle and, you know, he has his arrow, but in the comic books, he has a big, huge red shark fin on his head. And he wears, like, a toga. And he looks a little. Little silly to me. And so I have, like, this sort of metal fin implanted in his head. It's very short, it's very cool, little mohawk thing. And he's a lot different than he is in the comic books. And for some reason, that fucking fin is the thing people have gotten the most upset about, that they want Michael Rooker to have a big, huge fin. Yeah, he has a little tiny thing up on top. And the Yondu in the comics.

[Allison Rosen]

There you go.

[Brian Bishop]

So that's Yondu in the comics right there.

[Allison Rosen]

Send James a lot of threatening tweets. Like, you're lucky I'm morbidly obese. Planted firmly on my mom's sofa. If I could find my cock and balls, I would definitely get up off of this fucking sofa and come after your ass. Tear you a new one.

[Brian Bishop]

Kill you for have sex with you, and kill you for not having a fit in on Yondu.

[Gina Grad]

You're lucky I have to feed my cats, otherwise.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

On behalf of people from the comic book world, because my husband wrote a graphic novel.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I would like. Can you defend.

[Allison Rosen]

You're lucky it's Sloppy Joe Knight.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I don't know what's the difference between a comic book or, like, a movie?

[Allison Rosen]

Huh.

[Gina Grad]

One's awesome.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't like reading in general, number one.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, That's a great. That's the beauty of comic books. It's mostly looking at pictures. So it's just a little bit of reading. It's like 10% reading and 90% looking at pictures.

[Allison Rosen]

You know what it was for me growing up is first off, I was always wildly disappointed because the outside was glossy and then the inside looked like a new spot. That always pissed me off, that is. And then the other part is as a kid I was so hyper get out and wrestle and run in the sun that the idea of looking at pictures of people doing actiony oriented whatever seemed counterintuitive to me. Like we should be climbing that tree and swinging from that rope and reading about it.

[Brian Bishop]

That's probably healthy. But there's also a lot of fucked up people like me who wanted to avoid that type of thing and would sit in their bedroom reading comic books and stuff. Well, because then you had to deal with other human beings, which, you know.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. All right, let's do one more.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Well, speaking of Guardians of the Galaxy, Guardians of the galaxy is. This story came from Mike August sets take over Jimmy Kimmel Live the same evening as the movies premiere. So Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Bradley Cooper. I just call him Brad.

[Brian Bishop]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you call him?

[Brian Bishop]

I call him Bradley, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, don't really call him either. Vin Diesel and Dave Bautista. Stars will appear on the show and the cast will put their Marvel knowledge to the test when each actor faces off in a trivia contest against five year old superhero expert Mia Grace.

[Brian Bishop]

Let me tell you all those. The only one I think that has any sort of chance at all out of that group is Vin. I think he's the only one that.

[Allison Rosen]

I would have never guessed.

[Brian Bishop]

He's probably the only one that's read a comic book. I know Pratt has not ever read a comic book and has life. Zoe has, but she has. She doesn't remember things like that and has not read a lot of comic books.

[Allison Rosen]

I heard Pratt's a really nice guy.

[Brian Bishop]

He's the best. He's like. I mean, he's become like, you know, really close. We liked each other so much that I moved into this little house that was like on the River Thames in England when we were shooting over there. And he came out and visited one day and he liked it that he moved in next door to me. So we lived next door to each other the whole time we were shooting.

[Allison Rosen]

I was saying just early, like how crazy and unlikely and how quickly that guy's turned into just an A list celebrity.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, well, I knew it when I saw him. He came in, we were looking for the lead role for a long time and we screen tested 20 actors. Like big name actors and people, no names, just looking for the right person. And he was really overweight at the time. And he came in and he. And I didn't want to see him, but the, the.

[Adam Carolla]

Because he was overweight.

[Brian Bishop]

Because he was overweight, I thought it was ridiculous. I didn't think he could get the, the role. And he came in, he read and he read for like literally 20 seconds. And I turned to the casting director. I'm like, he's the guy that's. It's him. And so I hoped he would lose the weight, but I thought, honestly, even if he stayed chubby, he still was going to be better than, you know, a lot of the other people we were looking at.

[Adam Carolla]

That's so interesting. Did you not have an agreement where it's like, you have to get in a certain way?

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, Marvel was. Well, Marvel was pretty. You know, you got. They hired a trainer right away and it became his job for the next six months. And he lost 80 pounds of fat, you know, 60 pounds overall. So he got, you know. Yeah, he toned up and they do.

[Allison Rosen]

That all the time and they figure that out all the time. And I think it's just something they just plan on. Like, if we really like the guy and he's got the chops, tell him to put down the pork chops.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I think.

[Allison Rosen]

But there's other people.

[Brian Bishop]

There's other people that get into better shape than they're, you know, they originally were, but they don't quite have the discipline that Chris has. But Chris had done it before. He did it for Zero Dark Thirty. So I, you know, that was. That was helpful knowing he did that.

[Adam Carolla]

Had he gained weight for a role.

[Brian Bishop]

He gained weight for. He was in the Delivery man with Vince Vaughn and he was playing the. They wanted him to be fatter. So he was really especially fat. When he came in to read the guard.

[Allison Rosen]

I would just say be fat, not say be fat. Er, like, if I was the person, because I feel like, why. Why put the er on there?

[Adam Carolla]

You've done a lot of good work on your. We just need to do a little fatter, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's right.

[Allison Rosen]

We like to be more unpopular than you already are. Just leave that. The part off. All right, let's bring it home.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the news. I'm Alison Rosen. Zip it, cunt.

[Brian Bishop]

That was the news with Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Ah, cheapo Air. Right now they're giving away 50 tickets. You can travel around the US and they got a little competition. Absolute getaway. It's app. App. See that app? Getaway. If you need tickets and you need tickets and you want to fly somewhere, you go to cheapoair.com and they take care of you. And wherever you want to go, they'll take care of you. But you can enter this little game and see if you can win 50 tickets to travel around the U.S. what do you do? Use the promo code, Adam. So click on the banner at the top of our homepage and head to cheapoair.com today. Don't forget the promo code, Adam. A little earlier I said I think early show sold out in San Diego. I was talking about. Where are we going?

[Adam Carolla]

Long Beach.

[Allison Rosen]

Long Beach, San Diego. Still plenty tickets if you want to come out and say hi to us. Mazel tov. As no one who reads comics. Book, fuck. Say James Gunn. A lot of Jews reading comic books.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, my God.

[Allison Rosen]

Are you kidding me? I know. They're doing something else, though. No, a lot of the great comic.

[Brian Bishop]

Book creators are Jewish guys. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

For the. Brad.

[Brian Bishop]

They. The guys that created Superman, there's like all sorts of great, you know, Jewish guys that are comic books. Yeah, My. One of my.

[Allison Rosen]

Sure. That's just what you ever would say.

[Brian Bishop]

A lot of my executives on the movie are Jewish.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, now that.

[Brian Bishop]

But they're there because they like Marvel. You know, they're all.

[Allison Rosen]

What are you going to say?

[Brian Bishop]

They're all comic book geeks.

[Allison Rosen]

What are you going to say when you work for Marvel? It's funny. I never. I never knew. It's a weird stereotype that I never really thought about, but I think of.

[Brian Bishop]

Brian most wrong stereotype ever. There's a lot of Jewish comic book fans.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I don't worry. I think, you know, looks bad with the shirt off and lactates, but I'm scared of confrontation. But I don't. It adds up completely. I just don't picture the Jews.

[Gina Grad]

I don't know why there are bookish people.

[Allison Rosen]

Ever seen a guy in a yarmulke reading a comic book?

[Gina Grad]

Well, that's sacrilegious.

[Allison Rosen]

All right. I'm just saying. I know. Look, it makes sense. Sense.

[Brian Bishop]

I actually have a Spider Man. Ya. From when I had a Jewish girlfriend and they invited me to Passover and they gave me a Spider man yarmulke. That's true.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

That's true.

[Adam Carolla]

Where does one buy a novelty yamaka?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. They got it one though I am.

[Allison Rosen]

I stand corrected. I had. Did not know. I did not know that Stan Lee is a Jim.

[Gina Grad]

Stan Lee is short for Lebowitz, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Did you think he was Asian?

[Allison Rosen]

He doesn't. Sincere. Particularly Jewy to me. Does he?

[Adam Carolla]

I guess not really.

[Brian Bishop]

Have you heard him talk?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, but sometimes that can just be old school.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, and Lee didn't feel like anything to me.

[Brian Bishop]

Old school is the same as Jewish.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, a certain cadence, a certain emphasis on certain syllables or something. I don't. His name is Stanley Martin. Lieber.

[Gina Grad]

Lieber.

[Allison Rosen]

There you go. Oh. Okay, everybody. Guardians of the Galaxy in theaters nationwide August 1st. Go out there, Jews. Support your own. You guys band together. Never again will you miss the opening of a big budget movie. Guardian of the galaxies, James Gunn. Always a good time. And you can. You can Twitter him at James Gunn and marvel.com if you want to see the movie, by the way, or find out where it is. Marvel.com Guardians until next time, this is Adam Crollo for Ray Old Hopper, James Gunn, Allison Rosen, and Ball Brian Saiyan. Mahalo.

[Adam Carolla]

I've never had my panties destroyed. Not that way.

[James Gunn]

All right, that was Adam Colishow 1370. Coming next we have Adam Curlishow, 2032. James Gun. Vinnie Tordrich, Geograd. Brian Bishop from 2017.

[Allison Rosen]

It's time for Nicaraguan. Name that movie with Adam's buddy Oswaldo. See if you can guess which movie this famous line is from. Denise and the which I. Course in German, Main Angola. If you said Anchorman, the Legend of Ron Burgundy. They named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina. You're correct. Now back to the show. Imagine entire life where you. You couldn't do a V. It had to be a B. Everything was a B. What a sentence. James Gunn. Our old friend James Gunn. Back in studio, the Belko Experiment, which I watched last night. And I will. I will pay about the best compliment you can pay a movie. I had to finish it. I couldn't not. I couldn't. It was a tough time because it was on my computer. I couldn't get it onto my TV set. So it was like 13am I sort of remembered at like 9 o' clock last night, like, oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I gotta watch this. And it was, okay, I'm gonna skim through this, get the gist, and then tell James how much I liked it. I had to watch. I had. My kids were going nuts. My daughter had a meltdown. I had to pause it and go Melt. I had to reorder. I had to re. Put in the facactus code with the uppercase and the lowercase and the ampersands and whatever it's called. I was a mess, but I would not leave. I was not going anywhere until I watched the whole thing.

[Brian Bishop]

That's great. You got to see who survives. I think that's the thing with the Belko experiment.

[Allison Rosen]

It's in theaters today. That's Friday. That is March 17th. It's got a pretty wide release. I think about 1300 screens.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it does. It has between 1300 and 1500 screens. So it's everywhere you can go see it. It's a lower budget movie. It's a lot different than the other movies I've been doing lately, but it's a lot of, I don't know if I want to say, fun. I had a friend who had a panic attack while going to see it the other day. It's an incredibly violent, over the top film about a bunch of people who are stuck in an office building and forced to kill off each other or be killed. Yes, but it's. But it's an intense film and people seem to enjoy it. It's fun to see with a big crowd.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Had a good, sort of interesting love story involved. And it was just sort of what happens to the human condition and how fast it can break down. When you put that sort of it's you or him or us or them kind of thing in immediately with a lot of interesting twists to it and then a very satisfied, very satisfying ending as well.

[Brian Bishop]

Great, great. And it's, you know, one of the best things I think about the movie is that there's so many great actors in it who really bring this emotion to it. And a lot of. There's a lot of violence, a lot of horrifying stuff, but a lot of the most horrifying stuff comes from these performances and seeing these people go through these just completely heart wrenching decisions.

[Allison Rosen]

When did you write this? And then. Is it much easier to make something like this after Guardians of the Galaxy?

[Brian Bishop]

To answer your second question first, it's incredibly easy. It's just like somebody calling me up and saying, hey, I have that old script of yours, the Belko Experiment. I'll give you a few million dollars to go make it if you want to. And I said, I'll do that if I can do what I want and hire the director I want. And that's what we did. I actually wrote the script in 2007. I was, you know, I Dreamt the trailer.

[Allison Rosen]

Right. So the former James Gunn, pre Guardians of the Galaxy, would have a difficult time getting the Belko experiment made.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I think even back then, there was somebody who wanted to make the film back with me directing. And I was going through a divorce at the time. It was a crazy, harsh time in my life. I didn't feel like flying down to South America and shooting a movie about everyone having to force to shoot their friends in the face and kill them. So it didn't seem the best place for my soul or my spirit at the time. But I always loved the script and it always stuck with me.

[Allison Rosen]

Was. And by the way, my son, who's 10, when I told him, him, it's kind of interesting. Well, it's maybe new world order. So he said. I said to him, hey, maybe we'll go see that Kong movie this weekend. That's the kind of movie you and me could see. And he's like, I already saw it. And then because he was in a charitable mood, he said, I could see it again. Okay, old man, throw you a bone. Yeah, right. So I said to him, I said, what'd you think of Kong? And he said, I loved it. And I said, we had the director in last week. And he went, oh, that's a big deal. And then I said, oh, by the way, tomorrow, James Gun, the Guardians of the Galaxy. Because I know how much he loved Guardians of the Galaxy. The writer director's coming around. She's like, that's awesome. And I just thought in the past, I think you would have had to have the star of the movie in. I don't think when I was a kid, writer, director really meant anything. It's kind of nice that the kids kind of get the. This guy's the creative engine behind this. And seemed equally as punished for you coming in as any one of the characters coming in.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I mean, it is interesting. I think a lot of that has to do with social media, probably. I think social media, the people behind the scenes get a lot more attention than maybe they did in former years. I was a big fan of movie directors. I loved Steven Spielberg and George Lucas and Joe Dante when I was a kid. But I also read the hardcore film magazines and. And that's where I knew those guys from, from science fiction magazines and Starlog and that sort of stuff. But I think today, I think with social media and also, it's like, you know, with the Guardians especially, there's, you know, those guys have become my good friends. So me, Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Michael Rooker. We're, you know, there's a. We're tweeting at each other all the time. We Instagram photos with each other. So people get to know the whole group as a group, which is the real creative force behind them movies.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And one could argue that you're too modest to say this, but the writer, director's a more important part of that.

[Brian Bishop]

The actors, certainly not too modest to say.

[Allison Rosen]

Everybody knows that things kind of characters come and go. It's that creative force. So a couple questions about the Belko experiment. Sure. Which again, is. It's very gory, but it doesn't. It's not the. I don't know why. Doesn't hurt your teeth like a lot of gore movies do. It's just sort of in context gore. And it's very. You gotta watch because you have to figure out who the Last Man Standing is gonna be. The only part of the movie I couldn't figure out, and I was trying to figure out whether it's intentional or not. And I'm not gonna do any spoiler. I'm gonna try to figure the spoiler alert part of this out and not step on it, but. And when one of the objects was being removed from the fella's head there.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

I couldn't figure out whether he got it out or didn't get it out. And then I couldn't figure out if it was intentional that I not figure it out if he got it out or didn't get it figured out. And then I figured out he didn't get it out. But I wasn't sure, so I thought I'd ask you.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, he didn't get it out.

[Allison Rosen]

That's what.

[Brian Bishop]

I guess he tried to get it out.

[Allison Rosen]

He tried, but he didn't. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I thought you were talking about. About as something else. Yeah, you're talking about. I mean, I'll go ahead and spoil it. It's near the beginning of the movie.

[Allison Rosen]

You're allowed.

[Brian Bishop]

But John Gallagher, Jr's character, who's this just incredible force in the movie, he's a very interesting character because every time there's some sort of new challenge in the film, he's always trying to think of it both morally and logically at the same time. And he acts instantly on his hunches. And when they find out at the beginning of the film that they've all been implanted with these tracers in case they were kidnapped, they're all in Bogota, Colombia. And whoever is behind this, there are actually little Miniature bombs in them that will explode their heads if they don't do what they're asked to do. And instantly upon learning to do this, John Gallagher Jr. Takes an X acto knife and tries to cut the bomb out of his head without even thinking. And he goes and he washes off the X acto knife with soap and water in the bathroom, locks himself in there because he knows everybody else will try to stop him. And he starts to try to cut it out.

[Allison Rosen]

I didn't think he got it, but I wasn't sure because he was rooting around in there.

[Brian Bishop]

He was rooting in there. He gets his. Yeah, he's got his fingers that he's sticking in the back of his skull trying to get it.

[Adam Carolla]

Was it Vin Diesel esque?

[Allison Rosen]

Kind of pulling a little bullet out.

[Adam Carolla]

And popping it on that metal tray.

[Allison Rosen]

Pain don't hurt? No, it was a little more realistic than Vin Diesel when they do their own surgery.

[Gina Grad]

I should have tried that with my tumor.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, you've wasted so much time. When you watch the movie, you'll see, I think, the exact same spot you.

[Gina Grad]

Thought of in 2007. Right around the time I was diagnosed.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. Interesting coincidence.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

There was a guy who. When I wrote dawn of the Dead, there was a guy who kept writing me, I'm hoping this guy is gone. I tried to never bring him up, but he kept writing me and making videos about me being in the Illuminati and that I had based. That I owed him $200 million because I based the story of dawn of the Dead on his life. And I had been secretly filming his life. And I wrote dawn of the Dead based on his life. And you know, which. Which was true. And so I was embarrassed to be caught. No, but it was, you know, this, this. That's what I did to you.

[Gina Grad]

You and I are gonna have this conversation with the Buckle experiment.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You're gonna assume me.

[Allison Rosen]

Go ahead, Gina.

[Adam Carolla]

That actually reminded me of something. My boyfriend's a screenwriter and he. When people come to him with advice saying, you know, will you read this? Let me know what you think. He'll always say, tell me the subject first. And if it's something that I've either been considering doing or if it's something that I, you know, wanna a write about, I'm not gonna read it because I don't wanna have that conversation.

[Allison Rosen]

Can you do that as well?

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, no, cuz I never read anything.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, that's even easier.

[Brian Bishop]

I never read anything. But I did, you know, I got sued once by a guy who had. I wrote this romantic comedy for Warner Brothers, and a guy had a similar idea that one of my agents had read. And the guy sued me. And I was able to right away get it dismissed because I had notes and. And emails going back and forth from long before he had ever sent out his screenplay, that I had written this screenplay. But he tried to sue me, and then he kept stalking me for years after making up different AOL screen names.

[Allison Rosen]

We had that with the crank anchors. I think somebody sued us about the idea it was their idea to do prank phone calls with puppets or something. I mean, look, it's out there. There's only so many ideas. They're bound to do. The question is, did you rip it off or not? So Guardians of the Galaxy, now that's coming out. That'll be out in theaters May 5th. Wow. Let's talk about how many screens that's going to be on.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that'll be on every screen.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, all your iPhone screens, everything. A big deal with Apple to show them up. No, it's going to be. Yeah, it's going to be everywhere. I mean, it shows.

[Allison Rosen]

Is that 5,000 screens or something?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't think I have the actual screen count yet, but it's going to show a lot of places.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, internationally.

[Brian Bishop]

We feel incredible, incredibly excited about it. I've been doing nothing else but that movie for nearly three years.

[Allison Rosen]

So where did you shoot the movie?

[Brian Bishop]

We shot the movie in Atlanta, Georgia. But the movie is shot. You know, that movie is shot almost completely on soundstages. And so it really was just about soundstage space.

[Allison Rosen]

And how long are you physically? I mean, I know you're going back and forth, but how long are you in Georgia for a shoot like that?

[Brian Bishop]

About 10 months. I was there.

[Allison Rosen]

That's a long shoot.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a long. Well, I don't. That's not all shoot because I'm there for pre production and I'm working with the crew and we're building the sets and we're doing all of that stuff. And then we shoot for about five months, 90 days or so. A little over 90 days. We shoot.

[Allison Rosen]

Do they put you up at. You say at a hotel? You rent a house?

[Brian Bishop]

I rent a house. I rent a house in Atlanta that was a nice, weird, strange house that a rap video was shot in that we found online called espn. Every single penny. N word, people can go watch this video.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you. So, like, give us a sort of middle of the shoot day for you, Like a Regular schedule.

[Brian Bishop]

What a shoot day is like.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, like toward the middle. I always say the middle because I don't want first day, I don't want last day. Just what an average shoot day is for something like that.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I mean, listen, our shoot days are. I mean, our shoot days are generally 10 hours long. We. We don't take a lunch break like a lot of productions do. So we just go straight through. Because I find that the lunch breaks, people get slow after that. So we shoot for 10 hours. Sometimes we go into overtime, but generally not more than an hour or so. And then I do about maybe 27 setups, camera setups during that time.

[Allison Rosen]

Let's revisit the lunch thing, because I'm totally with you. The lunch break. The best thing they have on these sorts of sets, especially with these kinds of budgets, are the catering, the craft service. And what happens is you've been there pretty early, you've been going at it pretty good, and you wait. Another part is you wait in line. There's like 45 people in front of you and you're holding your plate. When you get to the top, there's something about waiting in line for the food that when you get there, it's time to never wait in line again for food. Food. So you do the thing and have all these chafing dishes and you just start going down the thing. And it's not salmon, chicken or the beef. You go, I want the salmon, the chicken and the beef. Because you're passing by the thing and you go, ooh, herb roasted salmon is pretty good. And then you go, oh, look at the chicken. Is that a lemon on there? And you go. And then you get to the carving station at the end. When you're done eating at like 12:45 or 1 o', clock, you're like, I gotta spread out. Like, I mean, when we did the man show, I would like to have to go. I would sleep under my desk. Like, I would just go. Like, you just wilt. All you want to do is go find a patch of shade and just disintegrate.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that's why we do on set lunches. So we have. Because normally you're shooting a 12 hour day with an hour lunch break, but you find that the hour after lunch you lose productivity because people are so tired and it takes you a while to get back in. And so by shooting 10 hours, it's better. It's way better for the crew too, because, you know, including myself, we're able to come in, go to work for 10 hours and then go home and actually maybe do something during the nighttime for just the regular grips and everybody doing. Seeing their families doing something besides make a movie. When you shoot for 12 hours, it's hard to do anything but that. People are always hesitant at first to not have the lunch lunches, but once they do that schedule, they like it a lot more.

[Allison Rosen]

I was thinking about you, and I was thinking about this process, writing and directing. The writing feels Herculean in terms of the effort, because you have to sit down. I mean, I guess maybe it's a little easier with the first one because at least we know what it looks like and who's on the characters and they exist somewhere. Or is it harder?

[Brian Bishop]

Because now it's harder for me in this process. The second film was so much easier than the first film. Not in terms of the amount of effort and the amount of time I've been doing it. I think I've put a lot more work into it. So I'm just more tired, I guess. But in terms of making the movie. On the first one, there were times when I was writing this film that seemed completely out there. It was a Marvel movie, but it was really a space film. It had music in it. It was just a lot of comedy. It was much different than those other movies. And there were times when I felt like I was creating the thing that was gonna be the next big thing. And that's what I felt. And other times, I would wake up at 3am in the cold sweat thinking, I'm making Pluto Nash 2. Right. So it's like there was a lot of terror around failing. And this time around, knowing that people love the characters, know that they're waiting.

[Allison Rosen]

For it, and the blueprint's already set up. And that's.

[Brian Bishop]

And that's the other thing. I mean, I think in the first movie, I had to set up all these major characters, like, in the first 20 minutes. It's like telling a pilot versus telling the second episode. And that's really hard to do. And so this one, I just had the freedom to just dive in, focus on the actual story, focus on the emotions, get to know the characters better. And also, I learned a lot from the first movie. What did people like a lot? What did they not like so much? What did I need to improve? What did I need to increase or decrease? And so that all helped a lot. So overall, the second film was easier and less stressful.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I've just been on a much smaller scale going through that with this TV show I'm doing on Spike. And people don't fully understand how hard it is at the beginning because nothing exists once you set a template up when we do season three of the man show, so we'd have all our cards and it'd just be man ovations and get to know the Juggies profile, you know, and man of the Year, whatever it was. Or walk through the Museum of Guys We Can't Hang out with or whatever it is.

[Gina Grad]

Jim was the same bits regarding Galaxy 3.

[Allison Rosen]

And then you just go, put them up. We just start putting them up. You still had to do the work, but you had some skeleton to work off of. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And at the same time, I think that's a big challenge and that I didn't want to go, you know. I mean, so many sequels come out, and they're like, okay, we had the dance off scene in the first movie. Well, what's our version of that? We had Groot say, we are Groot in the first movie. What's our big moment? Like that. And so you just try to put this same formula together from the first film, and then it just ends up being a milkier version of the original film. So with Guardians Volume 2, it was really about taking those characters, but letting them develop and change and be different than they were in the first movie. And the second movie's different in a lot of ways. It's a more emotional film. It's about Kurt Russell and his son, which is. Peter Quill's father is played by Kurt Russell. So it's a much different movie, but it also has a lot of things we loved about the first one.

[Allison Rosen]

Hold on one second. I'm going to ask James. Give us a. Give us a juicy tidbit. Don't give it to us yet. I'm going to let you think about it for a second. But as someone who's been supporting James Gunn for all these years, you've always stood by his side. You have been. Give us a little exclusive about Guardians of The Galaxy Volume 2. Anything you can think about.

[Brian Bishop]

That is a hard thing to do considering how much.

[Allison Rosen]

That's why I'm giving you 63 seconds to think about it.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, wow, you guys.

[Allison Rosen]

About True Car, baby.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, Adam. Well, so I am grateful to you guys because you guys have been there by my side since I was doing PG Porn on the Internet and, you know, releasing web videos. And Adam would let me come on eight times a year and promote these things. So I will.

[Gina Grad]

We were hard up for guests in those days, James.

[Brian Bishop]

We have a couple of Characters. And this is, honestly, this is hard because I've been through already a thousand interviews about Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 and, you know, give away snippets here and there that turn into news stories, often that aren't any news stories whatsoever. But we do have a couple of characters who are very important to the Marvel universe who are going to make their debut in Guardians Volume 2, which people don't know about. And Sylvester Stallone plays one of these characters. If people looked at my tweet, I just tweeted, I showed your picture of Cobra out there. I saw my old friend who I.

[Adam Carolla]

Does he play Marion Cobretti?

[Brian Bishop]

He plays. He does.

[Allison Rosen]

In his soul.

[Brian Bishop]

He's very old. Wolverine. Yeah, really old. Logan. But I will say that my friend Michael Rosenbaum also has a pretty decent role in the movie as well. And it sort of works in tandem with Sly's character. So there you go. That doesn't seem like much news to you, but believe me, it's going to be on comicbook.com tomorrow.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, and I'll you see, see at 6:00am I don't know if you remember.

[Gina Grad]

Adam James, you mentioned, he's been on our show now four or five times a lot. And the last time he was on was just before Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 1 came out. And it was maybe like a week or two before. And we have a lot of actors, directors, people involved with movies come in to promote movies and sometimes you can kind of tell they don't quite believe in it. You know, it's maybe not quite a stinker, but they're not, their heart's not in it when they're promoting it. James was the most confident guest I had ever seen to that point, come in and talk about the movie. And it was interesting because Guardians Galaxy wasn't supposed to be a huge hit. It was kind of like this weird in between movie. It was kind of funny, but also kind of superhero movie. And James was known for PG Porn and things of those nature. So it was a very unlikely, huge monster hit. But I knew it was gonna be successful to a large degree based on the fact that you came in and did you know at that point that you kind of had the goods because you felt.

[Brian Bishop]

I did. You felt confident in your maturity. By the time I came in, I probably, probably was getting, you know, advanced. We had gone through the test screening process and I had advance word of what the critics were saying. And so I knew that people really liked it. I could feel the energy bubbling up. But I also loved the movie. So that's a big part of it. And honestly, I love this movie even more. And the test screening process has been better, and it's been a great experience, so I'm really excited.

[Allison Rosen]

So it tested more positively?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, that's great.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, significantly.

[Allison Rosen]

And then what about this? As. I don't like to talk about myself.

[Brian Bishop]

But I know you're shy and bashful.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, I just did a show two days ago, and people are like, how are the ratings? What are the ratings? And I said, I think they had a snow blackout on the east coast for Nielsen. And so. So you gotta wait. And everyone wants to know, well, how's that process? And I go, I don't care. I mean, I do care, but I only care about the show and the ratings. I don't really have any confidence about, but maybe they're good, maybe they're not. I can't control that part. Can you be philosophical? It's tough with a movie this size, but can you go, this is a better product than the first product. I. And if it makes two thirds at the box office, what the first product made, some of the suits are going to be disappointed, but I'll sleep like a baby because I did what I needed to do, which was go out and make a product that was as good or better than the first product.

[Brian Bishop]

I wish that. You know, it's weird. I was in bed with my girlfriend last night. We were talking about this very thing.

[Allison Rosen]

My name came up.

[Brian Bishop]

I wish. Yeah, well, usually while we're having sex.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, yeah. She screamed that this is pre or.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, Carolla. But I do get it. I get affected by that stuff. I do. I can't pretend like I don't. I get affected by, you know, how much the box office makes. In the case of Guardians, which I directed, I get very, you know, I get affected by the reviews, by what people think, by what people say on Twitter. All those stupid things can hurt my feelings, are. Upset me, but it doesn't do it to such a. You know, the thing is, is of course it does.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, yeah, no, I agree with all of that, but can you say for all of us who've done something, a TV show or movie that we thought was really good that just never got any traction and went away immediately, that I'm still proud of this and I stand by it, even if it went nowhere?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I mean, like, you know, we were talking earlier about my web series. You know, I did a web series called pgporn, which got hundreds of millions of. Of hits. And people loved. And then I did a thing called Humanz, which I think I came in here to promote that nobody watched and nobody cared about. But I love it more than I love PG porn. It's incredibly strange and weird and out there, but I still believe in that, even though it's messed up. I made a movie called super, which hardly made anything at the box office. But it's something that people still remember and I still love as much as any movie I made. So I do believe in those things. And. And then frankly, I did other things that I look back on and I.

[Allison Rosen]

Go.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm not that proud of it. I think there's problems with it.

[Allison Rosen]

So for you. And so then you tell me this and then I'll give you a couple of paths to go down. Having this kind of success not late in your career, but not at the beginning of your career. And in a way, certain sort of, you know, in an unexpecting. It's kind of like, I guess directing comedy. It's kind of like the ufc. Once in a while there's a guy who bounces around in his 500 for the first part of his career. You know, he's 15 and 15. He's 35 years old. That guy doesn't usually go on and break out and become a champ. He doesn't go on a 10 fight winning streak because he's 37 and a half. He would have done it when he was 26. He's not doing it. But then there's a Rodney Dangerfield. They hang out and then they're 55 and then all of a sudden they catch fire, you know, and I wonder, and I don't know for Rodney. I speak a little bit for myself and you tell me. So I think then there's a feeling of like, I gotta make hay while the sun shines. So the guy's like, I gotta get as many fights under my belt now as I can. Cause I don't have that much time to fight and I don't have to get in the belt so late and all kinds of stuff. So do you have a Guardians? His own. The Guardians is over and I'm gonna go to Tahiti and chillax for six months. Or do you have a I gotta make hay while the sun shines kind of vibe?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I've gotta make hay while the sun shines. I know that mentally I need to take a short break to allow myself to get distance because I haven't done anything else for so long and my personal relationships suffer for it. And my relationship suffers for it. For it. So I need to do something to take care of that part of myself, otherwise I'm going to collapse the next time around. But for the most part, I just want to get started. I become incredibly terrified of not just moving into that next project. And I base my life so much around making movies that it's hard for me to imagine going to Tahiti. I mean, I couldn't go for six months. I couldn't go for a month.

[Allison Rosen]

Other projects. So you might. You must have a whole slate of now stuff. And then the problem kind of becomes, how can you service all these things sort of simultaneously?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't do that. I think I'm rare in that I came upon a situation where suddenly I can get paid millions and millions of dollars for stamping my name on something and not really doing that much. But I just can't balance it out, all of these different things. So I don't take on any other projects. I've done nothing. But I did Bellco, which was like my hobby, and then I did Guardians. Over the past three years, I haven't done anything else in terms of work, and I have not committed fully to anything else. I think there's one TV thing I might do as producing the pilot, and then I'm going to do my next movie. And I probably won't do anything else for three years because I don't want to spread myself thin. And it's not about the money. I make enough money as it is.

[Allison Rosen]

Is the next thing. Guardians 3.

[Brian Bishop]

We're figuring it out. I mean, we're figuring out, you know, means I'm figuring it out, what I'm gonna do next.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, because I imagine, I mean, in this world where all the track has to be laid out well in advance of the choo choo train. And once they get all the testing, all the testing comes back and it's kind of. It's weird, but they have it down to a little bit of a science now. They just test it and they figure it out. And they can kind of do projections and equations and get a pretty good idea to some degree.

[Brian Bishop]

But there's also. They're wrong all the time. They always get tracking that's completely bad.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, look at the election.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, exactly. And I think I wrote Scooby Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed. That was my second highest scoring test screening of all time after this movie. So you don't really know what people think. Does it line up with what the public thinks? Does it line up with what the critics think? You don't know. Is it what people want? So people seem very, incredibly hungry for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. I feel great about it. I'm very interested in many ways in continuing on with these characters. But I also have to just give myself a little bit of a beat to figure out what I'll be most comfortable doing, because I do really only do one thing. And by the same token, the reason I think this movie is better is because I had more time to do it. And I'm the guy that wants to start his homework early. So I started writing the screenplay for volume two on the day Volume one came out, because I wanted it to be a complete. You know, in the first movie, I got hired pretty late in the game to write the screenplay. So we were changing the screenplay while we were making the movie, which is a horrible situation on this one. I wrote the screenplay, and we were done with the screenplay months before we started shooting, which is unusual for a spectacle film. So that was. I was able to plan everything out, and I'd like to be able to do that on whatever movie I make next.

[Allison Rosen]

What was the budget for the first versus the second?

[Brian Bishop]

The second one was a little bit more expensive, you know, because we all cost more, I think, is the biggest thing. And then the. There's more visual effects in this movie. So there's the visual. There's over 2,300 visual effects shots in Guardians, and we have the biggest visual effects shots ever in any movie. We have a set at the end of the movie that has over, you know, a visual effects set that has over a trillion polygons in it. So it's a crazy amount of work.

[Allison Rosen]

What's a polygon?

[Brian Bishop]

It's a little shape. You know, it's a little.

[Allison Rosen]

But that's on a green thing or it's not.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no. It's actually within the computer. They have to build these sets, kind of like you would build them with, you know, wood, but they got to build them digitally. And so every polygon is a different little piece of the puzzle of what this.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like Minecraft for adults.

[Brian Bishop]

It is. It's like Minecraft for adolescent inside of adult humans.

[Allison Rosen]

The great thing about films is all. It's all the different trades coming together. I mean, from the physical. From the guys who are just doing the physical carpentry to the computer nerds and, you know, up to the acting, the directing and everything else.

[Gina Grad]

Makeup, just a cover of guys in blue paint.

[Allison Rosen]

Everything. Just everything. All. I mean, you know, so many pieces of the Puzzle. Yeah, you can kind of say that you go, well, when you build a bridge, but yeah, that's the steel and the cement. Cement formers union. And guys who string the cables, like, okay, but there's 22 of those guys. This is 500 different guys coming together. That's really cool. And it's gotta be nice to be the conductor of that 500 piece band.

[Brian Bishop]

It is. I mean, it's all. Yeah, it is. I love it. I mean, somehow it's trying to maintain a unique, singular vision with so many different aspects involved in being able to find people that understand what you're saying. Because I'm generally. There's however many thousands of people that work on the movie and then I'm generally talking to 30 of those people who are leading other people. And it's, you know, you have to pick the right people to surround you.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm gonna tease another question for you, James Gunn. I'll give you 63 seconds, but this one's gonna be a lot easier. You know, you talked about being a kid and reading the magazines, being kind of a film nerd and so on and so on forth. I have a couple of ten year old twins now, and I'm absolutely obsessed with parents sort of ignoring a early vision with their kids. Like, their kids clearly are leaning hard toward this art or that vocation or whatever it is. And somehow their parents managed to just completely and utterly miss it and sometimes even squelch it a little bit and go, you're going to dental school, son. You're not gonna be this or that. Like, I want to know how your. I knew how you were, but I want to know if your parents picked up what you were putting down. First, I'll tell you about the smart mouth.

[Brian Bishop]

I actually use smart mouth.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, good, perfect. Zero seconds. Now, James.

[Brian Bishop]

My parents, you know, I came up in Manchester, Missouri, a small town outside of St. Louis. And my and I, we were Irish Catholic. There were six kids in seven years.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

So I didn't get any attention from my parents at all, really. We were kind of left to our own devices to go off and do our own thing because there was always a baby who was being taken care of. And strangely, five of the six of us are all in the entertainment industry.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, really?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What does the black sheep do?

[Brian Bishop]

She's a lawyer. She's a lawyer. But my brother Brian's a screenwriter. My brother Sean, and he's in Guardians and in Belko.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, yeah, he is in Belko because I saw your last name in the credits.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, he plays Marty the stoner dude.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, wow. Yeah, he's great.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And then my brother Matt writes for Real Time with Bill Maher, and my brother Patrick's on the business side of film.

[Allison Rosen]

That's a real writing gig, that show.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah. He's been doing it since the beginning. He's the sort of political guy on there.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

But anyway, so I think my parents. My parents thought they gave me. They always thought I was, like, very talented, but they also thought I was an idiot. There was something wrong with me. Like, my dad often says he thought he was going to end up needing to support me and I was going to need to stay at home because I did not do well in school. I was simply drawing and writing all the time. So I think that there was the right balance of my parents thinking I was a genius, thinking I was an idiot and ignoring me. That allowed to become a professional entertainer in some way or another.

[Allison Rosen]

How much? I have this theory that you had a lot of downtime and a lot of time to turn on your mind and create to entertain yourself. Your mind will really. I think your mind has this sort of thing where if you're put in a position of sort of boredom and tedium, your brain starts to turn, a part starts to turn on to try to pull yourself out of that. I can remember when I was doing construction, and you'd get these tasks that were like, you think some sort of sadist came up with them just to break you down emotionally. They'd go like. At one point, I got dropped off in a parking lot on Wilshire at the Pier 1 Imports we were building still there. And there was a pile of dirt the size of like two minivans on one end of the parking lot in an empty dumpster on the other. And they just dropped me off and they just said, don't leave until all the dirt's in the dumpster. And I found myself filling up the wheelbarrow, but I also found myself, like, counting the steps and then trying to work out a rhythm to how many steps before we went over the board, over the little trench for the sewer line. And then your brain starts turning on because otherwise you're going to insane.

[Gina Grad]

It's like your solitary confinement.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And so my kids are sitting in front of a big plasma TV with a bunch of stuff coming at them. And so they don't have to activate that because their life is really just. Their mode is in, fend off all of this stuff that's flying at me mode. Whereas you were like, I'm sitting in the woods doing nothing. I have to do something.

[Brian Bishop]

I had two hours of excitement on Saturday mornings when cartoons were on. The rest of my life was like walking back and forth to the grocery store 30 billions of times a day. But I think everybody has different ways of consoling themselves and soothing themselves. And if you're not getting that much attention by your parents or whomever. For me, it was just my imagination was the thing that took over.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

But I was always imagining stuff.

[Allison Rosen]

What if that two hours on a Saturday morning extended into to two hours on a Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and then expanded into seven hours on weekdays?

[Brian Bishop]

That's a lot of Sid and Marty Croft. That's all I know.

[Allison Rosen]

Would your brain be. Would it be developed, you think now?

[Brian Bishop]

I think it might develop in a different way. I'm not sure. Who knows? I don't know. I'm not a child psychologist, but I know for me, yeah, I think it was being left alone that made me be so imaginative, obviously not being able to speak. But I think, think, you know, that it was my imagination that sort of ruled my life. It was the most important thing in my life, and it still is. And then I think combined with that, there was always a sort of rational, logical part of myself which I think is the more different part of myself.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, you know, obviously, like, my feeling is James Gunn obviously has a talent, a gift and a. Whatever. I mean, it's sort of like athletics. Like, you look, you have. If you want to be a great, you know, professional quarterback, you have to have physical gifts and then you have to learn the game. So it's like you have this ability and then you've been honing it and learning the game and working your technique. But, you know, it's weird because if you have kids, all anyone ever, there's this sort of edict or mandate or something that went out about 10 years ago where it's like, you gotta keep them busy, hit them with stuff. They need to be stimulated. They got to be stimulated. You got to hit them with everything. You got to hit them with the arts, you got to hit them with music, got to hit them with entertainment, you got to hit them with creativity. They have to be bouncing from one class to another class to another class. And I'm not buying it, not at all. This thing where you have to have this tidal wave of activities drowning the kids every single day. I feel like, let them go figure some stuff out.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like it drowns me today if I'm too overactivated. You know, it's like if I'm, you know, it's like, where was a time when I didn't go to the urinal and check my texts? Like that's I'm doing something every single minute. And it gets to be overwhelming at times and trying to step back and just be doing nothing for two seconds and allowing that to be okay is a difficult thing for me.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's weird. And you know, you're busy. When things I used to dread flights to New York, like six hour flights. I go six hours sitting here, nothing to do. Whatever it is now there's part of me kind of goes, oh, I get left alone. My phone's not going to ring, there's nobody wants, someone's bringing me a cocktail and I'm going to watch some stupid TV show that I haven't seen or.

[Brian Bishop]

Whatever it is, sit here, do nothing. Nobody's requiring anything of me for this next six hours, for this next eight hours. I've traveled to Japan in a few weeks and probably the thing I look forward to most is flying in first class and being there in my own little bed and having nobody bother me except for the person trying to get me walnuts.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know gay code, but no. Yeah, it's weird, but it also kind of is a little glimpse into your life when the thing that we all used to dread, which is I gotta take a 12 hour flight to Australia or whatever, is now the thing you're sort of craving in a weird way. Like I get to go into this weird little space where the phone doesn't work.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And it's how we all were so happy to get smartphones and it was so exciting because you could do so much stuff on them. And now we're in a tyranny of smartphones and we're like, how can we get away from these things for a few minutes? Because we can't do it on our own. We're too weak. We can't just say, okay, you know, from 8 o' clock till night till 8 o' clock in the morning, I'm not going to use my smartphone.

[Allison Rosen]

Speaking of parents, I always tell you how much better Jimmy Kimmel's parents are than mine.

[Gina Grad]

It's come up once or twice. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

I got an email, I'll read it to you in a second. But Jimmy's mom, Joan sent me an email after the Spike show on Wednesday morning or something, something. And it's befuddling to me because I've heard nothing from anyone in my family. But Jimmy's parents are so good. They're not only good to Jimmy, but they're much better to me than my parents are. Which is. I don't know. I'm wondering if I should share that with my parents. Maybe not.

[Gina Grad]

Maybe they sense a deficiency in your life.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they need to fill that void.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't do that.

[Gina Grad]

For all of Jimmy's friends, I assume.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Yeah, maybe they do. No, no, no. I think they're quietly disgusted at my parents.

[Brian Bishop]

If they loved you enough to listen to the show, then they would know right now.

[Allison Rosen]

I'll read you that email. Cause it's funny, I guess. Gina, you can read it. You'll sound like Joan Kimmel. Or maybe Gary should read it because you'll sound like me reading it. Ooh, I don't know where to go now.

[Brian Bishop]

So you want me to read it?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, you gotta go slow, Gary. You can't pass power. You got it. All right. Dearest Adam, she already beat my parents right then and there.

[Adam Carolla]

Love, Joan.

[Brian Bishop]

So happy to see your new show is up and running.

[Allison Rosen]

Awesome. Of course, your choice of first guest.

[Brian Bishop]

May be considered questionable, but that's neither here nor there.

[Allison Rosen]

That's smiley face, her son. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Looks to me like you will be hosting the Academy Awards sooner than you may think.

[Allison Rosen]

I love you. We love you. You're a great guy and we are.

[Brian Bishop]

Blessed to have you in our lives.

[Allison Rosen]

Have fun with it.

[Brian Bishop]

Hugs, Joan and Jim, too.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, work dad in, too. Wow. Yeah, it's pretty sweet. And such a sweet family. But now you heard their names. I mean, you know the story. The first time I met Jimmy, I said to him, I don't know how it came up. We were just joking around. I didn't know him very well. And I said, yeah, we're talking about names. And I go, my jack off buddy, Ray Oldhoffer, he comes from one of these families where he's Ray and his brother Robert and his brother Rich and his brother Ronnie. One of those ass white families that has to name everyone the same stupid first letter. And he said, I'll tell that to my dad Jim, my mom Joan, and my sister J. Jail. And I went, oh, that's you. Like, what are the chances it's going to be you?

[Brian Bishop]

And that's kind of a coincidence, right? Because it's.

[Allison Rosen]

No. They coincidentally did it. And I think because.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, because there's a lot of people. There's a lot of J names. It's a very common name.

[Allison Rosen]

I think once Joan married Jim Kimmel.

[Gina Grad]

So we got something Going here.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Now. Now you'd be a fool. That's like you. When you get aces, you got to split them.

[Brian Bishop]

Is he actually Jimmy Jr? Is he a junior?

[Allison Rosen]

No, he's not a junior. And this is. Was all new to me because I'm the guy from my family. We don't discuss names. We're just like, hey, boy, get away from the fridge. You know, that kind of stuff. Not a junior, though. My dad is a James.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Because his middle name. Jimmy's middle name is Christian, which you don't hear about that often. And I guess his dad is different. But I still have it, as they're both Jim Kimmel's. Right. I'm his junior. Yeah. Doesn't work.

[Gina Grad]

Jim Moore and his dad, they're juniors.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. His best friend, Cleto Escobedo from the old neighborhood, who's his band leader, Cleto and the Cleatones. He's a junior.

[Gina Grad]

Really?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm actually. I'm a junior, actually. I'm actually a junior. But I don't. I don't ever use it. My dad uses Senior.

[Allison Rosen]

He does?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

He can't use it unless you use the junior.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I think I kind of like it. Then. I'm James Gunn. He's senior. Like, he becomes subordinate to me. I like it. Gives me power over him.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

A large portion of the year. So I like to give him crap.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Why does he live with me?

[Brian Bishop]

Both my parents do, because they have a house in St. Louis. And then they come out and they stay with me for many months at a time. And that's that story.

[Allison Rosen]

No, it's not. Does that.

[Brian Bishop]

End of the story.

[Allison Rosen]

Does it not cause grief for you?

[Brian Bishop]

I love my parents. They're older and how many more. How many.

[Gina Grad]

You've lost Adam already. And I love my parents.

[Brian Bishop]

How many more years do I have to be with them? So I like it. You know, they can't. They're pretty good at staying out of my hair, actually.

[Allison Rosen]

That's good.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, they have certain things that they do that drive me crazy. Like they bought a new chair for their guest bedroom that they sleep. That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen. I never said go buy furniture for the house. And they buy their own sheets.

[Allison Rosen]

That's sitcoms.

[Brian Bishop]

My house is. That room is looking like old Peopleville.

[Allison Rosen]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

They've annexed it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. It's their own thing and they call it their room. And, you know, I'll have some other friends come and stay there while they're gone and you know, they'll move around something in my mom's makeup cabinet, and she'll be furious.

[Allison Rosen]

Who messed around stuff in my room?

[Brian Bishop]

So they're very controlling about their territory. But other than that, I guess, I.

[Allison Rosen]

Suppose I'd be open to Joan and Jim Kimmel living with my parents. Parental figures, I could probably handle that. Certainly not my own parents.

[Brian Bishop]

You're James Jr. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And you don't go by J.J. gunn. That's a badass name right there.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm gonna pitch you. I'm start doing it.

[Gina Grad]

I'm pitch you on a new name.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I think I still have time in the credits of Guardians 52 to change the way I'm credited.

[Allison Rosen]

Hey, gary, look up J.J. arms the detective. Cause I was telling somebody the greatest.

[Brian Bishop]

Toy of all time, the greatest toy.

[Allison Rosen]

Of all time, and I. I found myself surrounded by people in Florida last weekend who had no idea. And when you're telling everyone who JJ Arms the detective is, you sound like an insane person. Especially when the four people in your posse have no idea what you're talking about.

[Brian Bishop]

And when you're telling them there was an action figure of a guy with clinically insane no hands who had different attachments. Had different attachments of different types of guns and things.

[Allison Rosen]

What the hell is this?

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, J.J. he wrote a number of books about his adventures as a private. I know way too much about JJ.

[Allison Rosen]

Crime unit, jumpsuit and ascot on.

[Brian Bishop]

When I was really little, There was a J.J. arms action figure.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, there was.

[Brian Bishop]

Which I was both simultaneously thought was awesome and was kind of, like, freaked out by. I never had it. It was a total bomb. I remembered it a few years ago and so read about it.

[Allison Rosen]

Gary, you gotta find the commercial for, like, the action figure. People look at me like I've. Like, I. I'm. I'm tripping on psilocybin or something.

[Gina Grad]

And Gina and I have the same look on our face.

[Allison Rosen]

Is this a character or a real person?

[Brian Bishop]

No. How did somebody think that was going to be a big thing? It was.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, I have no idea.

[Gina Grad]

I have the same naive question. Is this a real person?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, he's a real person. Look at pictures of him.

[Allison Rosen]

That's what I'm saying.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it a character?

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, no.

[Allison Rosen]

Brian. I've talked about him more than once.

[Brian Bishop]

In front of you.

[Gina Grad]

Was it on the same stage where you knew the girl's name in Arizona? Because I don't remember that.

[Allison Rosen]

You do remember that. They'll play it.

[Brian Bishop]

He's a real private detective.

[Allison Rosen]

He sort of remembers this.

[Adam Carolla]

Is confusing.

[Gina Grad]

This is extraordinary. If you mentioned JJ Arms in passing and didn't say what it was.

[Allison Rosen]

No, we did. We've done. We've done time on it. What? Yeah, Gary, We've looked up JJ Arms.

[Adam Carolla]

What he lacks in hands, he makes up for in hair.

[Allison Rosen]

Handsomeness. He's a real guy. We've seen commercials and little. There's like, trailers. He's kind of Evil Knievel time esque. But anyway, play the commercial. Now you can play World's Greatest Investigator with JJ Arms, the action figure with interchangeable hands. For today's mission, pretend to find the missing atomic warhead.

[Brian Bishop]

Changing to suction cups.

[Allison Rosen]

You can make JJ scale using hooks. JJ slides down. Hot on the trail. Now, quickly switching to JJ's magnetic hand. You recover the missing warhead. JJ Arms comes with everything you see from I. Ideal.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Bishop]

That's his superpowers. He's got a magnet at the end of his wrist when he could just pick up with his fingers.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, this is. This is probably going to piss you guys off and. And Brian, you might be on the same page as me. Let's just back up a little because.

[Allison Rosen]

It'S the first I've heard of it.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a. An actor with no hands that got the. I'm so confused.

[Brian Bishop]

He is an actual.

[Allison Rosen]

JJ Arms is a human being who exists. Who this thing is made out. There's a guy who was a detective whose name is JJ Arms. He had some.

[Brian Bishop]

He had a biography, autobiography come out about him, and then some saw this as a wood.

[Allison Rosen]

But that's why we're reacting this way.

[Adam Carolla]

Jj, he's an American amputee, private investigator and actor. He's known for his prosthetic.

[Allison Rosen]

I will give you this clue. Gina. If we were making. If this is something from Sid and Marty Croft, like, when would we go? Sigmund is a sea monster. Like, see, I wouldn't be. My mind wouldn't be blown because somebody made it up. Understood. But I. This guy exists. That's why my mind is blown. I get it.

[Adam Carolla]

But I've seen you react this way to Cobra.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, well, that's a lot. So I'm a little thrown off. That's a good film.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a real human being.

[Allison Rosen]

Not this way to Cobra. I appreciate it.

[Brian Bishop]

J A Y J. That's him with George Bush and Dick Cheney.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

This is insane.

[Brian Bishop]

He's still.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, so he's, like, still going strong. Years old.

[Brian Bishop]

He's pretty cool. He's. But it's so weird because the thing for me Is like, what. Why did toy companies think that kids would fantasize about not having hands instead of having it? Did you get suction cups with my friend Stan Lee? That's amazing.

[Allison Rosen]

Stanley.

[Gina Grad]

How does JJ change his own hands?

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, that was never.

[Brian Bishop]

One hand at a time.

[Allison Rosen]

The one kid holds his arm and the other kids puts on the suction cup.

[Brian Bishop]

I like. I like how one of these attachments with the toy are actual flesh colored hands.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And I think that if JJ had.

[Brian Bishop]

That option in life, he'd probably just have actual hands all the time.

[Allison Rosen]

The way it went is I was in Melee island and I was saying someone was saying someone should do a special on what happened to James Dean's death car. Because his 550 Spider Porsche, which he was killed in on the way to Buttonwillow, the race track, was taken by George Barris, the guy who made the Batmobile and all the mobiles, the Munster's car and all that kind of all that guy. He owned the wreck. And then he took the wreck, the smashed 550, and he shipped it to high school, to high school, to high school. And talk about the dangers of driving or whatever it was. And somewhere at the port in Florida, so they think it was missing. And that was like in 1961 or something. And it's never been seen again. This crazy iconic death car, Porsche 550, anyways, worth 3 million bucks. But the one James Dean died in, I don't know what. And it's been gone and it's never resurfaced. Like I always think Middle Eastern sort of bunker kind of. Kind of stuff. But he got JJ Arms on the case. He. He Barris. And like the biggest Hollywood move ever, the guy who made the Monkees mobile, called JJ Arms to find out what happened to James Dean's Portia.

[Gina Grad]

I think we have the plot for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.

[Brian Bishop]

3.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, you're welcome, J.J. guns. All right, find out, Gary, if Jim.

[Gina Grad]

And I are losing our minds or if this has been discussed on this show before.

[Allison Rosen]

It has. Okay. Now, I don't know. Could have been pre Gina.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And maybe I.

[Allison Rosen]

Maybe I was traumatized, but I do we've seen the commercial or what I. The tumor talking. All right. But if I. I'm curious now, so we'll figure it out at some point. Oh, you know what? Super fan Giovanni will tell us when he hears this.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, Giovanni. That's right.

[Allison Rosen]

Giovanni. Believe who. What?

[Gina Grad]

This had to been on Adam and Drew or something?

[Brian Bishop]

No, 25th last year. Two years ago. I would never forget JJ.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, let me tell you guys about Geico, and then I can figure it out.

[Brian Bishop]

It's an episode with Brad Meltzer and Amy Kirkos. It was June 25th.

[Adam Carolla]

Must have been sick that day.

[Allison Rosen]

Did it just pop up or do we take a look at. I remember telling the story about James Dean's Porsche.

[Brian Bishop]

If you want to stretch, I might.

[Allison Rosen]

Be able to find some. I don't care. James Gunn, the Belko Experiment. Very good. I. I had very adverse conditions last night. Daughter having a meltdown, computer freezing up the whole nine yards. And I watched that GD movie until it was over, because I had to know. Good. I had to know. Very well done. Very well put together. And that hits theaters today. That's March 17th. And of course, Guardians of the Galaxy and all that kind of stuff. You'll see that when that comes out. But let's go see. Let's go see Belko. See the Belko Experiment. Now, until next time, Adam Carolla for James Gunn and JJ Arms and Gina Grant and all. Brian, say Mahala.

[Adam Carolla]

In case I haven't made it clear, you suck.

[James Gunn]

All right, that does it for today's Kroll Classics and all the clips of James Gunn. He has a big new movie coming out, Superman. He directed it. Since first appearing on the podcast back in 2009, James Gunn's career has evolved tremendously. In the early days of Twitter, he was one of the most famous people doing random comedy and ideas and stuff with the format Nerdist was doing. Chris Hardwick, of course, James Gunn, a litany of other comedians, entertainers, director types, producer types. Everybody was essentially using this social media app to generate new ideas and comedy. And there's all kinds of funny, like, non sequiturs phrases and stuff put on the website. The people shared his, like, early tweets. He went from making his independent film super to then working and doing stuff like Xbox. They were trying to make some original TV things for Xbox consoles. Humanzee, PG Porn. Then he also came back promoting a video game, Lollipop Chainsaw, I believe he wrote. So he always had his fingers in different pies, trying to get things off the ground while also having a film career. Got hired by Marvel, made the Guardians film. Still kept appearing on the Adam Carolla show, which was great. Produced a bunch of independent films for other creators. Brightburn came back for Guardians 2. Then there was a controversy because there was some sort of bad actor who found old tweets and instead of understanding them for what they were at the time, try to paint them as, like, confessions of a person's, like, inner psyche. And then due to a certain employee of Disney who's no longer there, overreacting, James was removed from the Guardians 3. Then he was hired by DC because they were able to see he didn't actually do anything. It's one of the most fake controversies that's ever existed. Adam Kroll of the show supported them all through that. He got hired by dc. He made their Suicide Squad critically acclaimed, came out around the pandemic, didn't get as much business as it should have, got hired back, of course, by Marvel, finished the Guardians trilogy, and now he is the studio head of DC Films, along with a partner who does more the production side. And his big project is Superman. He has written and directed Superman. It's coming out, and it's kind of the career evolution of all this guy's work and all of his history at the Adam Carolla show. And we kind of watched him grow and change and evolve, and we watched his career do the same. So it's really cool. This movie's finally coming out. I can't wait to see it. Thanks for all appearances, James.

[Allison Rosen]

You rule.

[James Gunn]

Until next time, mahalo.

[Ray Oldhoffer]

And get it on.

[Allison Rosen]

Sa.