Jane Goodall + Insane Clown Posse (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Adam Carolla Show – "Jane Goodall + Insane Clown Posse (Carolla Classics)"

Release Date: January 26, 2025
Hosts: Giovanni, Mike Lynch
Guests: Insane Clown Posse (Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope), Alison Rosen, Brian Bishop
Segment Highlights: Insane Clown Posse interview, Jane Goodall discussion
Duration: Approximately 1 hour 50 minutes

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1. Introduction to Carolla Classics

Hosts Giovanni and Mike Lynch introduce the episode, highlighting it as part of the "Carolla Classics" series, which features memorable moments from Adam Carolla's 15-year podcast history.

Notable Quote:

• Giovanni ([00:17]): "We play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 15 years of the Adam Carolla show."

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2. Spotlight on Insane Clown Posse (ICP)

a. Historical Context and Relationship with Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla reminisces about his initial interactions with ICP during their early appearances on his show "Loveline" around 1997-1999.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla ([01:07]): "The first time I ever met the Insane Clown Posse, I was doing Loveline. It was probably like 98 or 99... I was kind of tense about it."
• Violent J ([01:45]): "We started rapping and making basement tapes... and trying to sell them for a dollar a cassette."

b. Building a Fan Base Without Mainstream Support

ICP discusses their journey from local performances in Michigan to gaining a massive, dedicated fan base known as Juggalos without the backing of major record labels or mainstream media.

Notable Quotes:

• Mike Lynch ([16:09]): "There was no big name rapper that came and signed us up... We built this brick by brick..."
• Violent J ([16:19]): "We don't have any record company that came and signed us up... it just slowly happened."

c. Overcoming Negative Press and Establishing a Legacy

Adam and ICP delve into the challenges they faced with negative media coverage, including a controversial record deal with Hollywood Records (owned by Disney) that led to their album being pulled from stores. Despite harsh reviews, ICP's relentless promotion strategies in cities like Dallas helped solidify their legacy.

Notable Quotes:

• Mike Lynch ([18:40]): "Hollywood Records had a meeting with Disney... they actually pulled the record out of stores the day it came out."
• Adam Carolla ([24:18]): "If you're a certain ethnicity that can't take another ethnicity, go review your shit and say it sucks. That's not gonna fly."

d. The Gathering of Juggalos

The conversation shifts to discussing "The Gathering of the Juggalos," an annual 24-hour event featuring music, wrestling, and comedy. ICP emphasizes the unique community and camaraderie among Juggalos, debunking stereotypes of violence and chaos.

Notable Quotes:

• Violent J ([33:36]): "It's really no one fight... It's all love."
• Mike Lynch ([44:20]): "There are four additional stages in the woods... It features the best of the wicked shit or horror core."

e. Independent Success vs. Mainstream Dependency

ICP advocates for independence in the music industry, highlighting how controlling their destiny without relying on major labels or media endorsements contributed to their sustained success and loyal fan base.

Notable Quotes:

• Mike Lynch ([38:35]): "Nobody knows how we got. That's why we sold nine million albums."
• Violent J ([39:43]): "It's up to us, in our hands. It's what work we put."

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3. Transition to Jane Goodall Segment

Giovanni announces the upcoming interview with Jane Goodall, including other guests like Alison Rosen and Brian Bishop. A brief clip from the 2011 interview is played to set the stage.

Notable Quote:

• Giovanni ([60:20]): "I want to give you a legendary drop that we all probably are familiar with."

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4. Jane Goodall Interview with Alison Rosen and Brian Bishop

a. Jane Goodall’s Journey and Conservation Efforts

Jane Goodall discusses her lifelong passion for animals, particularly chimpanzees, and her groundbreaking work in conservation. She shares insights into her experiences living among chimpanzees in Africa and emphasizes the importance of involving local communities in conservation efforts.

Notable Quotes:

• Jane Goodall ([60:31]): "From a very young age, I loved animals... deciding that I would grow up, go to Africa, live with animals and write books about them."
• Jane Goodall ([63:36]): "We've pioneered a program to improve the lives of the people living in poverty around the wilderness area..."

b. Challenges in Conservation and Human-Wildlife Relationships

Jane elaborates on the difficulties faced in protecting chimpanzees amid habitat loss, poaching, and the complexities of human-wildlife interactions. She highlights her methods of integrating conservation with community support to create sustainable environments.

Notable Quotes:

• Jane Goodall ([68:09]): "Chimps are so like people that I don't think of them as animals any more than I think of people as animals."
• Jane Goodall ([72:26]): "If you're protecting the forest, you are protecting the future for your own children."

c. Personal Anecdotes and Philosophical Insights

The conversation takes a lighter turn as Adam shares humorous anecdotes related to the interview, blending his comedic style with Jane’s serious conservation topics. This interplay underscores the diverse nature of the podcast's content.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla ([113:18]): "I was picturing the two of you out in the jungle."
• Jane Goodall ([114:06]): "The animals that help people the most are those that have been domesticated for thousands of years."

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5. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Events

As the episode nears its end, Adam and guests discuss upcoming shows, events, and additional content, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and informative dialogue.

Notable Quote:

• Adam Carolla ([149:49]): "Universal CityWalk, by the way, tonight with Doug Benson out on stage... to watch Two and a Half Men and then go, oh, fuck, I'm gonna watch the roast."

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Conclusion

This episode of Carolla Classics offers a unique juxtaposition of ICP's journey in the independent music scene with Jane Goodall's profound contributions to conservation. Through candid discussions and humorous exchanges, Adam Carolla provides listeners with both insightful narratives and entertaining banter, exemplifying the show's diverse appeal.

Key Takeaways:

• ICP's Resilience: Demonstrates the power of building a loyal fan base through relentless effort and authenticity without mainstream support.
• Community Building: Highlights "The Gathering of the Juggalos" as a testament to the strong, positive community ICP has fostered.
• Conservation Insights: Offers valuable perspectives from Jane Goodall on the importance of integrating community support in wildlife conservation.
• Diverse Content Approach: Balances serious discussions with humor, catering to a broad audience.

For Listeners Who Haven't Tuned In:
This episode serves as both an inspirational story of perseverance in the music industry and an enlightening conversation on conservation efforts, all wrapped in Adam Carolla's engaging and unfiltered style.

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Additional Resources:

• The Gathering of the Juggalos: juggalogathering.com
• Jane Goodall Institute: janegoodall.org
• Adam Carolla Show Archives: AdamCarolla.substack.com

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Note: Timestamps are approximate and correspond to the moments of the notable quotes within the transcript.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Foreign.

[Giovanni]

Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.

[Mike Lynch]

This is the podcast.

[Giovanni]

We play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 15 years of the Adam Corolla show. We have a companion podcast titled Coral Classics. The ad free archives are exclusively available through Adam Corolla's substack. Check out AdamCarolla.substack.com. you'll also get access to a bunch of other ad free shows, including the brand new podcast Beat it out, currently featuring Jay Moore. All right, let's get to the clips. Coming up first today we have Adam Carolla Show 619 featuring the Insane Clown Posse. ICP are legendary loveline guests dating all the way back to 1997. They would appear on the show every year or a couple years. They were kind of like David Alan Greer and their fan favorites, although there's a large portion of the audience that finds them difficult to listen to, especially back in the Loveline days. They've of course, mellowed over the years and the decades. And this is them back in 2011 on the ACS. Hope you guys enjoy.

[Adam Carolla]

And we're missing two of the insane Clown Posse. They should be here any moment. If I know those guys well, we started without them. They'll roll in and when they do, you'll know it. Until then, it's just me and you. So thank you so much for tuning in and all you folks that have been supporting the show over the years. I say years now. It's weird. Well, it's been more than two, actually. More than one. I guess you get to say years. So thank you so much for tuning in. We do appreciate it. And like I said, when Shaggy and Violent J come in, I'll let you know. They'll let you know. The first time I ever met the Insane Clown Posse, I was doing Loveline. It was probably. I don't know, we have to ask Giovanni, but probably like 98 or 99. Oh, here they are. Here they are. And I remember I was being. I was. I was kind of tense about it. Like these. Everyone's telling me these guys are maniacs and everything. And I was like, I'll fucking punch them, man. They come at me. I'm a boxer, you know, they're clowns. And I remember kind of hyping myself up a little bit, like, I'm not taking any shit from these dudes. And I came walking into the studio and there were two dudes that were like six'three six'four and 280, wearing Mexican wrestler mask. And I'm like. And I just, like, plots myself. And I had myself all fucking worked up, and they scared the shit out of me. And then went on to be one of the better shows we did all year, maybe all decade. So these guys bring the wood, as we like to say. And I'm getting wood now. We'll bring them in in just a second. Mike gave me the big thumbs up. Took my kids for a little hike this evening before I came in here. I recommend it. I don't know. There's something I've always like walking and talking. I just feel like there's more that you can get done. You know what it is? When you sit at a table, you have to look at the person, and then it gets uncomfortable, and then it gets weird. And you're looking at them in the eye and then they look down and they scratch your head and stuff. When you're walking, you're both facing the same direction and you just keep going. And all of a sudden, an hour and a half doesn't feel like anything. And there's something about being in motion that somehow breaks things up or gets things started. I don't know what it is, but I can tell you walking at night with somebody just doesn't have to be on a trail, doesn't have to be in the wilderness. I used to do it when I was a teenager just through the side streets. Just walk and talk, just walk and talk. You get so much pushed off of your emotional plate doing that. And again, everyone does that thing where they go, hey, man, I got to sit down. We got to have a talk. But you really should take a walk. I mean, you really should, like, really, like anytime a boss needs to talk to an employee, or a husband needs to talk to a wife or vice versa, or father needs to talk to a son, they shouldn't do that weird sit down thing. You don't know what to do with your hands, you don't know what to do with your eyes. It's kind of weird. Like, when your boss is telling you something, do you look down? Do you look him in the eye? Is he reading your face? What's your face look like? Should you punch yourself in the face? You can get a tear welled up. Like, what do you do? I really take a walk. I think when people say take a walk, they think you're gonna kill them. But I just mean the walk in talk. I would do it if I was a boss. Even if I was living or working out of the big corner office, I'd tell everyone, let's take a walk and just walk around the block like 10 times. Well, like I said, lynch gave me the thumbs up on Violent J and Shaggy here from the Insane Clown Posse. They were supposed to our Palm Springs show a few weeks back but I guess their reputation preceded them and the venue did not want them. Well, it wasn't them, it was their fans. Although I guess you could still be offended if you were the Insane Clown Posse. They did not want the Juggalos there. I really want to get to the bottom all that stuff with them where everyone got their name, how everyone got started. How talko is that the name of their drink? I'll talk to them about it. First let's talk a little discount tire and America's Tire. Yeah, these guys just got me tires for my race car. They just got sandy tires for his excursion. Discount tire and America's Tire. Two different names, same company. Any purchase can be serviced at either location. So you get something at discounts tire and and you got the flat warranty and you want to go get it fix at America's Tire, go over there. Free safety inspections, rotations and air checks. By the way, seeing radio air checks, something else keeping your tires inflated properly is. Wow, I've been saying this and it's driving me nuts but if you keep the right PSI in your car tires, it will save you a tank of gas annually, which is kind of like alright tank of gas a year, but do that over a billion cars. I mean think of how many millions of barrels of oil that comes down to be if everybody just put air in their goddamn car tires. Drives me nuts. And it's a safety thing. So if you got kids and you're traveling with the kids or maybe you just don't want to kill yourself. Head down to a discount tire in America's Tire. They'll keep your tires inflated for you. They'll give you free safety check and you can check them out online discount tire.com order free online catalog. They'll do shipping free. That's right. Order online free. That's right. Free shipping. Well, the shipping part is free. Come on, you got to pay for the tires. They're not insane, but they'll get it. If you want a tire, they'll get it. I need race tires for my bre Datsun. They got them, they mounted them, they balanced them and we went out and they worked like champs. Alright. Mike gave me the thumbs up with the insane clown posse 5 minutes ago but I don't know where the hell they are now. Are they out in the parking lot getting high? Yeah. Are they really?

[Mike Lynch]

Yeah, they're in the parking lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Are they getting high?

[Mike Lynch]

I didn't see that far.

[Adam Carolla]

Who's in charge of rounding up the Insane Clown Posse?

[Mike Lynch]

Lynch is out there right now. Nobody. Go find out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, go poke your head out there, because I don't. I don't know if I want to take phone calls or move on or. Let me try taking a phone call here. Hey, Dustin. Let's try this again. Dustin.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Caller]

What's up?

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on, Dustin?

[Caller]

Not much, man. Big fan. Just calling in. Big fan of you. Big fan.

[Adam Carolla]

ICP now. Did you ever hear them back in the day when they were on Loveline?

[Caller]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I used to watch it all the time, and I thought it was a riot. Mix it up with people as funny, though.

[Adam Carolla]

How'd you get on? How'd you get with the Insane Clown Posse?

[Caller]

Well, it was about a while ago. Like 15. I'd say about 15 years ago. I've been listening just through friends. They said, you know, you got to hear this. It's crazy shit. And started listening, man. I fell in love. Fell in love with the message. Fell in love with, you know, their beliefs and everything they were preaching. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Are you going to. So you're Juggalo?

[Caller]

Yeah, I am a Juggalo, Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you going to go to the gathering of the Juggalos?

[Caller]

I'm not, because I'm actually getting married in September, so I'm gonna have to miss this here due to money and everything, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

How's your wife feel about marrying a Juggalo?

[Caller]

She deals with it. It's not really her cup of tea, you know, not her taste of music, but she likes it.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought it mostly appealed to the young ladies, but I had no idea.

[Caller]

You would think.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. How you doing? You excited about getting married?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you do for a living?

[Caller]

Actually, I work from home. Customer service.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. How does that work? How does that work?

[Caller]

I guess it's basically. I don't want to bore you with that. It's basically just customer service. They call in, order stuff over the phone and take the information and whatnot.

[Adam Carolla]

And somebody figured out you could do that from your house better, you could do it from some crappy office building downtown. Yeah.

[Caller]

You know, Better than India, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. No, I like that. What do you do? You have a field of expertise?

[Caller]

Yeah, I'm actually. I'm a chef, but I'm kind of. You know, with the economy, there's not too many restaurants.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. The Insane Clown Posse just entered the studio. Awesome. That would be violent. Jane. Shaggy.

[Caller]

Of course, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Good to see you guys. This is. This is a delight. This is a delight. Mike's working. Check the mics. We have a couple questions for you guys. But I have a couple questions for you guys, too, so we'll just talk. Get your headphones on. Your face is all painted. What happened to the Mexican wrestling mask? That's.

[Mike Lynch]

That's when. That's when you know there's nothing going on throughout the day. At night, when the only thing happening is something where there's no cameras, you know, then we break out with the fresh luchador style.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Mike Lynch]

But it's been a pretty busy day.

[Violent J]

Oh, it's been a busy day, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? What have you guys been doing all day?

[Mike Lynch]

Well, we did a fresh little something on the George Lopez show that was fresh. That was dope for us. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. So what's. I. I have a. You know, I thought to myself earlier today, I want to really interview the Insane Clown Posse. Like, I want to find out how it works, how it got started, what year it got started, who thought of the name, who thought of Juggalos. I want to. I want the whole. The whole thing. You guys start off in Illinois, right?

[Mike Lynch]

No, Michigan.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Michigan.

[Mike Lynch]

Detroit. Merchant.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm from North Hollywood. I don't really know. It's the same place to me. So I start off. Start off in Detroit and. Or outside of Detroit.

[Mike Lynch]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

And troubled youth, broken homes.

[Violent J]

Troubled youth. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And. And. And. But. But you think. But I love music.

[Mike Lynch]

Love. Yeah, love. Love. Hardcore gangster rap, you know, nwa, Eazy, the Ghetto boys, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

And that's who you're listening to at the time. What year is this?

[Mike Lynch]

This is 1990.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, 1990. And so you get. Now you're living at home.

[Mike Lynch]

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe. Doing what? Floating around.

[Mike Lynch]

You know, we actually moved. We're the only ones that actually moved from the suburbs to the city to attempt to be gang bangers.

[Adam Carolla]

And people don't realize because I did the same thing, like, how much floating there is when you're a loser between, like, 17 and 25. Like, how much? Just sort of like, well, I crashed on this dude's sofa for a while.

[Mike Lynch]

Drifted away. Trying to find your place.

[Adam Carolla]

Just. Just drifting around. No college, no training, no whatever.

[Mike Lynch]

No job.

[Adam Carolla]

If somebody woke you up the next day and said, hey, come on, let's go to Iraq, we're gonna. We're gonna rebuild the place. You make 21 bucks an hour, you'd be like, cool, where do we go? Can we take a van there? Like, how's it going?

[Violent J]

Maybe now.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, now not so much. But I was up for anything at any time and everything was an opportunity.

[Mike Lynch]

Very unique time in life, that is when you have your whole life ahead of you. You're open for any. Great. That is.

[Adam Carolla]

But is it great? I mean, did you guys enjoy it? Because I always felt scared, like, not having any insurance and not having any money and always feeling like we came up.

[Violent J]

Not having that. You know, you broke a bone. You broke a bone, right? No insurance.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I. I know, but I hated that. Like, I felt. I felt like I kept fast forwarding to being 30 years old and not being able to have a house or support kids or support a wife. Like, I was always just kind of thinking, the hell am I gonna do when I'm 30?

[Mike Lynch]

To be honest, though, we kind of had a dream. I wish I could say it was to be rappers, but it wasn't. We wanted to be pro wrestlers. You know, we had that dream. And it wasn't just a dream. Like, maybe it was like that's what we were gonna do.

[Adam Carolla]

So what is the.

[Violent J]

We started a little earlier too, you.

[Adam Carolla]

Know, Right now you're a little bit earlier. How old are you in 1990, approximately.

[Violent J]

Shoot.

[Mike Lynch]

Have to add some numbers up here.

[Violent J]

Well, I know I did my first ICP show at 16 and I'm 36.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, so there's 20 years. All right, so you, you, you say, all right, we want to. Did you come up with Insane Clown Posse immediately?

[Mike Lynch]

In the beginning? See, here's what happened in the beginning. You know, from the time we were adolescent youths up until we grew, you know, basically nuts on hair, on our nuts, we wanted to be wrestlers. You know what I'm saying? That was it. We wanted to be wrestlers. We didn't want to be. We knew we were going to be wrestlers. That was it.

[Violent J]

He was always bigger. I was his manager, sure.

[Mike Lynch]

And. And then when we started really getting into music, we started getting into NWA and we heard Easy E with that high pitched voice, talking about Compton and blowing heads off and stuff like that. It was just more than awesome to us. It just overtook wrestling. We wanted that more.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Mike Lynch]

One day we made the, the conscious decision that we were going to now be rappers, you know what I mean? We decided to go for that instead. And when that day came first, we were the Inner City Posse, which was our gang at the time. You know, we made up this gang. We moved to southwest Detroit we moved in with some friends that lived there and moved right into their house with them. And we just immediately started walking around the neighborhood, spray painting ICP on all these buildings where legitimate gangsters were living, you know what I mean? And we'd spray paint ICP everywhere.

[Violent J]

Fan was no option for us.

[Mike Lynch]

And we wanted to get. We started rapping and making basement tapes, you know, rapping over other people's instrumentals on a karaoke machine and all that, you know, and hand them out in the neighborhood and trying to sell them for a dollar a cassette and everything, right? And we got our asses kicked big time, man. We used to front like we were these gangsters.

[Shaggy 2 Dope]

Dear old work platform, it's not you, it's us, actually, it is you. Endless onboarding, constant IT bottlenecks. We've had enough. We need a platform that just gets us. And to be honest, we met someone new. They're called Monday.com and it was love at first. Onboarding Their beautiful dashboards, their customizable workflows got us floating on a digital cloud nine. So no hard feelings, but we're moving on. Monday.com, the first work platform you'll love to use. Dear old work platform, it's not you, it's us, actually, it is you. Endless onboarding, constant IT bottlenecks. We've had enough. We need a platform that just gets us. And to be honest, we've met someone called Monday.com and it was love at first. Onboarding. Their beautiful dashboards, their customizable workflows got us floating on a digital cloud nine. So no hard feelings, but we're moving on. Monday dot com, the first work platform you'll love to use.

[Mike Lynch]

People started hearing about ICP because of the music, because of the promoting we were doing.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Mike Lynch]

But in the real gangster scene, we were getting our asses kicked, man.

[Violent J]

Oh, nice.

[Adam Carolla]

So you got shot at.

[Mike Lynch]

Yeah. I mean, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So now how does, like, where's the first big break come in? Like, when's the first game around?

[Mike Lynch]

The beauty of icp, there was no breaks.

[Violent J]

There was, but there wasn't, you know, it was constant work, constant uphill struggle.

[Adam Carolla]

The thing that's insane to me, and I don't know how it works, but I'm always impressed by it, is the massive fan base minus the platform. You know what I mean? Like, there's. There's some people who have a platform. Like, Jon Stewart is a comedian. He has a platform. He has a show.

[Violent J]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

You know, Chelsea Handler has a show. So when she's doing A stand up gig, she has a show to plug it off of. And then there's guys that sell out arenas with no platform and Insane Clown Posse sort of that way. I was friend of the gay guy in the next room over there is really big into a band called Fish, right? And he said, fish is coming to town. And I said, so where are they playing, the Troubadour? No, they're playing the Hollywood Bowl. I said what night? Said Monday night. I said, how can we get tickets? Well, they're sold out. I said, how the do you sell out the Hollywood bowl on a Monday night with nothing? You don't have, you don't get any.

[Violent J]

Grilled cheese sandwiches, you don't get the.

[Adam Carolla]

Airplay, you don't have a platform. How does it work? Well, word of mouth, it just. You get your fans and they follow you around.

[Mike Lynch]

Yeah. When you build a fan base that way with no real breaks. There was no big name rapper that came and signed us up and put us on his label and took us on tour and endorsed us. It never happened. There was no record company that came and signed us up and put us out with big money management. It never happened. We built this brick by brick by brick, you know what I'm saying? Slowly. Brick by brick by brick, constantly climbing up the mountain, the back road, you know what I mean? We didn't take the, we didn't have a big hit on the radio where all sudden it blew up, you know what I mean? There was nothing, there was no time in our, in our career where all of a sudden we were known, you know, it just slowly happened. To this day, it's still happening. There's still things happening here and there that further our legacy.

[Violent J]

And then we had a tragedy that happened that helped us. It was a bone that turned to be a benefit that turned to be a bone. It's, it's.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is what?

[Violent J]

Hollywood.

[Adam Carolla]

Hollywood.

[Violent J]

We were on Disney Records Hollywood at.

[Mike Lynch]

The time we were on Jive. We did a deal with Jive Records. It was a local deal. They saw the success we were happening in Michigan, the success we had in Michigan. So they were like, dang, you guys are selling 60,000 records basically out of your trunk.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Mike Lynch]

You know, so they gave us a very weak record deal, very feeble record deal and they went to put out our next record basically in Michigan, you know. But this is a true story. We knew we had Michigan on lock. So we threw a dart at a map and the dart landed on Dallas, Texas. So we drove, we spent our advance money and we Bought these three vans and we painted them up like our new album.

[Violent J]

Used vans, Right, of course.

[Adam Carolla]

New for you.

[Mike Lynch]

Exactly. And we drove to Dallas, Texas and we started promoting our asses off in Dallas, Texas. We didn't know why we picked Dallas. That's where the dart landed, right? But we started focusing on Dallas next.

[Violent J]

Jive did nothing, right?

[Mike Lynch]

They were just banking off our local success, you know, and that's how they used to get by a lot. Sign local successes, and especially us. We had clown paint. They thought it could never work nationally, you know, Right. Local thing that was making some money. But next thing you know, we started putting the groundwork in Dallas. We lived there for three months. Every day at high school, every, every high school in the city. At 3 o'clock, we'd be at three different high schools. Each van at a different high school. When the kids came out, hit them up with samplers. You know, this is before Internet and everything. Sure, there might have been Internet, but it wasn't like it is today, you know, Right? And hitting up high schools, you know, finding out where all the cars cruise up and down the Strip, Pull out, pull out our three vans and hand them out to all the cars cruising up and down the Strip and go to the titty bars, go in there and hand them to the DJs, whatever. It took, you know, three months of our, us and our whole crew, right, bombarding Dallas. Next thing you know, we had two cities, right? We had Detroit and we had Dallas, you know, right? Then this other label came along, Hollywood Records, owned by Disney. And this guy, you know, I mean, he actually believed in us. And he, he came along and he. Awesome guy, his name was Julian Raymond and he was awesome. And he, and he said, I believe in you guys on the real deal, you know. And he signed us up and we were like, we're signed a jive, you know, they won't let us go. And he was like, hey man, we're all about Disney. We get what we want, right? And we were like, are you sure Disney wants to fuck with us?

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Violent J]

Like you're almost Disney, right?

[Mike Lynch]

And he explained to us, he said, hey, you wouldn't know this, but Disney also owns Miramax films and they put.

[Violent J]

Out Friday the 13th.

[Mike Lynch]

And kids, remember controversial kids.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah, yeah. Like 13 year olds having sex, Right. I gotta tell you, I beat. I mean, was disgusted by that. Yeah. Well, no, but it's like, it's, it's like when a nice wine company also puts out Night Train. For that, for that, for that, for the Homeless guys, they know, they don't like you to know that they put out the fine Pinot noir and the fortified shit for the junkies, but they do, right? And it's like. It's like Budweiser will do their thing and then they'll do King cobra too. And they don't really like, you know, and that's that their thing, but that is their thing.

[Mike Lynch]

Those King cobra dollars are just expendable as the Budweiser dollars.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yes, they are. I like the Mickey's big mouth dollars even better than the Sam Adams dollars myself.

[Violent J]

Right there.

[Adam Carolla]

But. All right, so now you guys get signed by Hollywood.

[Mike Lynch]

Hollywood Records, owned by Disney. They sold us with the whole about me and Max and how they do their own thing. And just because they're owned by Disney doesn't mean they put out fruity cartoon music, you know? So we recorded this killer album. It was our fourth album. Fourth. Joker's Car called the Drake Malinko. And the day it came out, they had a meeting where Hollywood Records had a meeting with Disney. And they showed what they were working on. And they played our video for this round table of all these Disney execs and they were like, hell no.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I'm saying?

[Mike Lynch]

And they actually pulled the record out of stores the day it came out.

[Violent J]

We're doing an in store and our rep came up to us. He was like, just, did it help, though?

[Adam Carolla]

Because I remember you guys came in and did Loveline when the great Malenko came out.

[Violent J]

That's what I was talking about.

[Mike Lynch]

He got a lot of press, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Lynch]

And everybody was like, man, let me. What is this icp? You know what. What is this? Music that got. Was so allegedly ruthless that it got pulled out of stores the day it came out. So it brought major attention, you know, crashed us.

[Violent J]

It was, we thought then our whole career, right? We're done. But then a bidding war.

[Mike Lynch]

Yeah, it made so much noise that a bidding war came, you know, but what happened was the whole world didn't turn their ear and listen to us. Said, let's find out what this is about. And I'll never forget it, man. We had a stack of faxes on our manager's desk, like a foot tall stack, right, of reviews that came out from local newspapers and everybody reviewing the album. And it was the most horrific reviews you ever heard in your life. People were like, this music is God awful shit. This is. What the hell is Disney thinking to begin with? But what is this?

[Adam Carolla]

You know, you guys are the insane clown Posse. So it's kind of like, I don't know, you have to know that people aren't gonna take you seriously on a certain level. Certainly not reviewers. Like, you're gonna have your fans.

[Mike Lynch]

You know, I know that there's a lot of music that we put out that it's like, you know, what the fuck is that? You know, at first listen. But you gotta understand, man, you know, there's a lot of good music we put out. We believe in what we put out. You know what I mean? There's a lot of genuine art there, a genuine tongue in cheek.

[Violent J]

But there's. There's a lot of super good stuff that super deep.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you got it. I mean, look, at a certain point, you're not gonna fool the fans. I mean, you got to put out some product.

[Mike Lynch]

It's gotta work.

[Adam Carolla]

It has to work. Yeah, because this thing where, like, you think, oh, okay, so this guy. The only way you guys have built your Juggalo army is some guy's gotta say to another guy, you gotta check these guys out. Not, I went and checked them out. You don't need to check them out, because that means you just lost the private in your Juggalo army. You need to. Everyone needs to be deputized to spread the word. And if you guys are just up on stage sucking ass, they're not going to spread the word. Right?

[Violent J]

That's a big thing. We believe in putting on a show, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Violent J]

We don't sit there playing a guitar, sitting on a stool. We almost.

[Adam Carolla]

You're saying Jose Feliciano does not put on a show.

[Mike Lynch]

You know, the deal is we can't say that there was never any breaks in our career, because obviously, when Disney pulled the record, that brung a lot of attention to us. But at the same time, the reviews came were just horrific. Like, I remember Rolling Stone put a cover out. Remember the band Prodigy? They were on a cover of the magazine. And I remember they had a tag in the. In the corner of the COVID It said insane, you know? You know, they mentioned the bands that.

[Adam Carolla]

Are in the magazine.

[Mike Lynch]

It said Insane Clown Posse. And then underneath it, in parentheses, it said, no, really, you know, like, we're really gonna write about these guys, you know? And it just was like, there was so much negative.

[Violent J]

Brought a lot of press, but it was all negative.

[Adam Carolla]

Terrible.

[Mike Lynch]

Like, incredibly terrible. Like, we made USA Today's worst album two years in a row. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, there's.

[Violent J]

There's the COVID But here's.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's the thing. I I don't know. It's like, you know, because I did the man show and I got a lot of the same shit, you know, People never really investigated it. They just went, this guy's a misogynist pig with his other buddy up there, making fun of chicks and chugging beers and minus four stars. Like, you have to know that these are people that didn't really investigate things. They saw a little too much clown makeup and they just rendered a decision.

[Mike Lynch]

You know, even the name the man show, it's so easy to just assume that that's just something. That's all.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all it ever was.

[Mike Lynch]

And without even giving it an honest.

[Adam Carolla]

Shot, you know, I. I could always. I could always tell, and it. It just. It'll follow you around. But the fans, that's completely different. They pay the money, they buy the records.

[Mike Lynch]

Ain't that what it's about in the end, any fucking way?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, look, if you had a choice between one or the other, I mean, we all want both. But if I said, you want really nice reviews or do you want a huge fan base, what is this about anyway?

[Mike Lynch]

You know what I mean? Like, you want people to dig your shit, man. That's what really matters, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's the. It's the ultimate review, is it's sort of like you can write whatever you want about a restaurant. Is it crowded? Because if it's crowded, you can say whatever the fuck you want about it. It's crowded. And if it's not crowded, you can say all the great things you want about it. It doesn't matter to the guys closing up shop.

[Mike Lynch]

You know, what I don't understand is how. Oh, my God, how you could have, like, a guy come to one of our shows.

[Violent J]

I was just gonna get 2, 000.

[Mike Lynch]

People in the crowd singing every word.

[Violent J]

Having a Loving it Martian, just loving it.

[Mike Lynch]

Just loving the fago, just jumping off the stage, landing on their head, loving every second of it. And then in the morning, the review comes out. One, this show sucked. You know, like, who the fuck are you to say everybody was wrong but you? You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta say that I think, and I've had this happen to me on more than one occasion where they come to the show and, you know it's a great show, and, you know the crowd dug it. And then you walk off stage and you know the guy, there's a reviewer in there, and you think to yourself, well, maybe he didn't like it, but he still has to admit these people around him all dug it. And then the guy will go home and write a shitty review about your comedy or about your music. And he'll never mention the 2,000 people that were digging it, Whether they were laughing or dancing or doing whatever.

[Violent J]

There's them too.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but at least my feeling is you have to say, I hate these guys, but they're 2000 stone 14 year olds that tend to disagree with me. And look, also, it's that kind of thing too, where it's like, these guys are out of your demo. They're the wrong. They got too much education. They got not enough hair. They went to Ivy League schools. They're not supposed to. Like the Insane Clown posse out of.

[Violent J]

10 critics are failed musicians or failed film students or whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it's not like they sent some fat dude over to review the man show who was carrying a six pack. They sent some gay guy over who tore the new asshole, and he'd be like, if I went. If my editor sent me to go down and review the Oprah Winfrey show. And I was like, I don't know. This fat black chick is. But I don't like her, and I like all these dumb broads sitting on. And I went back and wrote, it's a horrible show. My editor would go, you can't write that review. That's not for you. The show's not for you.

[Mike Lynch]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

You're an angry white guy. That ain't for you. We got to get a fat black chick to go review it. And they do it, but they don't do it with the Insane Clown Posse. They don't get some young stone guy to come in with grease paint on and go, go review those guys.

[Violent J]

That's my whole new model. It's like, it's not my cup of tea, you know, But I don't dislike it. You know, I might not personally be my thing, but I'm not going to diss it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I think what you have to do. What I always talk about with reviews is you have to make a distinction. If you're reviewing a restaurant and there's a Thai food place and it's new and you're gonna go review it. If you don't like Thai food, then you can't review it. You have to like Thai food and go, I like Thai food. I've had a lot of Thai food, and this isn't a very good Thai food place. But you can't hate Thai food. Go to the Thai food restaurant, write a shitty review and have all the people who Might want to eat Thai food. Go, oh, I guess it's bad Thai food. It's not bad Thai food. You don't like Thai food?

[Mike Lynch]

Isn't this common knowledge or it's common sense? Like, why can't people understand that? You know, like, if you want to review an ICP album, ask a Juggalo if it's any good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Mike Lynch]

You know, they might be like, dang, they're losing. Honestly, they're slipping. Or this isn't.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. They'll let you know stuff, you know. Yeah.

[Mike Lynch]

Or they're gonna say, this is the most incredible shit they ever did. But what the fuck? Somebody that. I totally understand what you're saying.

[Adam Carolla]

I've had it happen a million times. It doesn't exist for Adam, Carolla, or icp. It would. It does for certain groups and all that kind of stuff. If you're a certain ethnicity that can't take another ethnicity, go review your shit and say it sucks. That's not gonna. That's not gonna fly. But look, you're a husky white guy. You're gonna get it. That's. That's all. All right, so I want to talk about the. So. So the Insane Clown Posse is now established in Dallas, and it's now established in Detroit, and We're talking about middle 90s here.

[Mike Lynch]

Talking about, like, 97. The album got pulled out of stores.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Mike Lynch]

Made a whole bunch of hoopla, you know, made a lot of press, all negative. But this, at the same time is when the birth of the most hated band in the world started to come into play. You know, like, there are people out there.

[Shaggy 2 Dope]

Dear old work platform. It's not you, it's us. Actually, it is you. Endless onboarding, constant IT bottlenecks. We've had enough. We need a platform that just gets us. And to be honest, we've met someone new. They're called Monday.com. and it was love at first. Onboarding. Their beautiful dashboards, their customizable workflows got us floating on a digital cloud nine. So no hard feelings, but we're moving on. Monday dot com, the first work platform you'll love to use that also feel.

[Mike Lynch]

Like they're, you know, the most hated. There are people out there that also feel like they are ignored and they are the underdog, and they are sure that's what those kind of people, they would hear our lyrics. And whether it's the way we're talking or the way we're. What we're rapping about, you know, we don't always rap about having the Hottest women or the baddest cars. We rap about having the ugliest women sometimes and the most rickety fucked up cars. And I think even more, more than that, even more hidden than that. Just the way we might misphrase a word or something they people understand, would relate. People out there would relate to us, real people, and they would say, man, I'm the same way, or I feel the same way, you know, and it would start to build. This thing started to happen, you know, where people were more than just down. They were like, they started to really get it. They started to really understand what we were trying to say, even if we weren't, you know, using the right grammar or something.

[Violent J]

Feeling a true connection to it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, yeah, I always try to impress this upon everyone who's listening to or all the people that come up to me and go, I want to start a podcast or I want to do standup or something, that there's a common through line that a concert celloist has and the Insane Clown Posse have, which is, they busted their ass. They went at it eight hours a day, maybe ten hours a day. They didn't go out. You know, while other people said, I'm tired, I'm heading home, or I'm going back or I'm going to party or whatever, they were relentless about it. And that is the one common thing. Now, it doesn't matter whether you're a professional athlete or you're in a rap group or you play concert, but you play orchestral music at the Hollywood Bowl. It's never given up. Always pushing hard. It's the thing that people. People discount it all the time because that's the first question, and I asked it myself. What was your big break? What's your big break? What's your big break? Your big break was you being born, not having your dad kill you with a pillow at 2 months of age and then going out and busting your ass. That's. That's your big break.

[Mike Lynch]

And not accepting failure. Like, no, you really want it. How. At what point do you roll over and say, I can't do it, you know, right? I. I give up. Like, what does that mean when you give up? Like, how can you ever give up?

[Adam Carolla]

No. And you don't.

[Mike Lynch]

You don't to want what you want.

[Adam Carolla]

And you don't do it today. Like, I mean, you guys were out today doing a version of the same thing you would have done 10 years ago.

[Mike Lynch]

Every day, brother.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Mike Lynch]

Every damn day. Every day. We don't stop every day if we're not doing something under the lights or in front of people. We're doing something backstage, man. We're doing something all the time, right? Every day it feels like you have to keep banging on these pots and pans. If you don't, you won't have their attention. They'll stop looking at you if you're not making no noise, right? You're not banging on and saying, hey, we're right here. You know? There's so much going on out there in the world that if you don't bang on shit, they're gonna look away. They're gonna look away, man. You better keep their attention. And then when you got their attention, you better stand up and fucking dance or do something that's gonna keep their attention. Because better believe to the right of you and to the left of you. There's guys dancing all over the place doing impressive shit, man. You gotta hang with them, man.

[Violent J]

There ain't. There ain't no, though in advance trips being made to Saint Tropez or whatever, you know, Cuz it's gonna get canceled.

[Adam Carolla]

Even I know it's sand for Faye.

[Mike Lynch]

If you want it, it's right there. You know what you have to do. Bands say, how do you make it, man? How do you do it? You know? Let me tell you something, all right? You see that mountain? Especially in California, you see that mountain out there? If you want to get to the top of that mountain, you could sit here on the bottom and you could wait for a fucking ski lift that ain't never coming, right? You could wait for some superstar to come pick you up in a helicopter and fly you up to the top. You can wait for somebody to come lift you and carry you on their back, which ain't never gonna happen. Or you can slowly but surely start walking that motherfucker, right? It may be slow, it may hurt your feet. It may take forever. It may be not. Not fun. It may suck. But eventually you will start to get up that motherfucker. Eventually you will turn around and say, wow, look at how far we've came, right? We've been walking so long that when I turn around, look behind me. We've made some groundwork.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You have kids. Violent Jay.

[Mike Lynch]

Yeah, but that's how you make it, man. You walk.

[Adam Carolla]

You walk that way. Your destiny is, I want you to come over and talk to my kids. I think they're gonna be pussies.

[Mike Lynch]

Think about it.

[Adam Carolla]

They're gonna be lazy. They're sitting around. I need you to come over and talk to them. Makeup full Makeup, same voice. Give them the walk in speech. You know what I mean?

[Mike Lynch]

Think about it. Your destiny is in your hands. If you put it in your hands right? How you gonna fuck up?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this is the thing that drives me insane. Everybody does. A lot of it's who you know. Especially in showbiz, they know it's who you know. Who said anyone? No one knows. 99% of guys in celebrity. What do you think your. My dad owned a radio station or your dad owned a nightclub or something? Nobody knows anybody.

[Mike Lynch]

That's exactly why we're so hated, man. We. Nobody knows how the fuck we got. That's why we sold fucking 9 million albums. We've never been to the Grammys. We've never been to any Hollywood parties. We don't know any fucking celebrities like that. We don't know anybody.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they go, it's who you know. And then they do this lucky breaks, a lucky break thing. And then they go, here today, gone tomorrow. Like you don't have a choice. And it's like, it's not in your hands, like you didn't put yourself here. And also, what's inferred is you didn't get here on your own and thus can all be taken away tomorrow.

[Mike Lynch]

Right, right, right, right.

[Violent J]

By a program director, like your next single, right?

[Adam Carolla]

They can't.

[Mike Lynch]

No disrespect to any artist out there that's signed to a fat ass record label, but let's say they got a hard on for your record, they blow it up. It's everywhere. You're a star. Three years later, you drop your next album, right? The guy at MTV or whatever is all sudden, like, you know what? I'm not feeling it. You know, it's his decision whether or not you make it, right? If you don't want to play it, you're right. Or you got too drunk at your record labels party and you rubbed everybody the wrong way. Now they don't want to work with you no more, right? How could you let your career be in somebody else's hands like that? If you're independent and you do everything yourself, and you built all those bricks yourself, and you mowed this pet trail up the back of the mountain yourself. Your destiny is on you. When me and Shaggy drop an album, we say, how far do we want to work this? You know, we're gonna work this till we get till we sell 300,000 copies, all right? It's gonna take that long till we stop, till we rest. You know, we hit the road, we do whatever we got to do. But it's our destiny.

[Violent J]

It's up to us, in our hands. It's what work we put.

[Mike Lynch]

We don't have to suck anybody's dick and pray that they're gonna play our new single.

[Adam Carolla]

It doesn't hurt, but I know what you're saying. You don't have to suck and pray. You can suck or pray, not both. Or you can suck while you're praying. But the point, no. When I started, I remember, like, clear as a bell, I grew up. And down the street from me was the Ringwald family, Molly Ringwald. But she wasn't Molly Ringwald yet. She was just a 12 year old. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, she got big, and she was on the COVID of Time and Life magazine. She was a huge star when I was 19 or 20. And then all of a sudden, it all just kind of went away. But I was always friends with her family and their mom and their dad and all that stuff. And there she is. And when I had. I started having a little bit of success in, like, 95, 96, somewhere like that. And I talked to Bob Ringwald, Molly. Molly's dad, and he's out in Placerville, California. And Molly's kind of career has kind of cooled down a little bit. And he said, hey, man, enjoy it while you can, because Hollywood is here today and gone tomorrow. And I didn't say anything to him. I just hung up the phone. I said this. Talk to you later, Bob. And I hung up the phone. This is like 96. And I said, bullshit. Not for me. I ain't doing it. There he is. He's blind and he plays the piano. And he gets pissed at me all the time because I make fun of his. He likes Dixieland music. And I know that Insane Clown Posse probably doesn't play, doesn't cover a lot of Dixieland stuff, but it was funny because he tells me all the time, I love jazz. And I go, I love jazz, too. And then he goes, dixieland? And I go, what? I thought Miles Davis. And he's like, huh. Then he takes a swing at me, but he's blind. He can't catch me too fast. But, yeah, he did that thing where he said, here today, gone tomorrow. And I remember thinking, even 15 years ago, I'll control this.

[Mike Lynch]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't control everything. But there's gonna be some good days and some bad days, but I'm not gonna float right out of this business. I'll bust my ass to stay in it. Yes. It's not lucky not who you know.

[Violent J]

Paddle breaks, Use your arms.

[Adam Carolla]

But they love. They love to do the here today, gone tomorrow. Lucky break, big break. Who you know, Enjoy it while it lasts. Right? Bullshit.

[Mike Lynch]

And you can only be new once, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And it's just sort of, oh, the public is fickle and they're loving you one day and rejecting the other. Not if you build that audience. Not if you're loyal to that audience that's so loyal to you. Insane Clown Posse, by the way. The gathering of the juggalos coming up August 11th, 14th at the Cave in Rock in Illinois. And also. Or Illinois, I should say. 4 days, 24 hour event. Music, wrestling, comedy.

[Mike Lynch]

We gotta get you there.

[Adam Carolla]

You can go to juggalogathering.com by the way. I'd love to go. Attendees include Charlie Sheen. Yeah.

[Mike Lynch]

Ain't that crazy?

[Adam Carolla]

Flavor Flav, Busta Rhymes, Ice Cube, Harlan Williams. I'm laughing because he comes in here all the time. How does this work? How does. How many people.

[Violent J]

Beauty is. We do it. No, no. Corporate. Nothing corporate. No Pepsi, nothing like that.

[Mike Lynch]

We do it in that lineup right there. That lineup of people that are on that they. That comes from us sitting around our own roundtable, which is made up of, you know, basically our homies that we dropped out of school with.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, Brian Posein, Jimmy, J.J. walker.

[Mike Lynch]

Hell yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Bobby Brown.

[Mike Lynch]

MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice and Ice Cube and Charlie Sheen.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, where else you're gonna see Harlan Will. It's not gonna see Harlan Williams open for George Clinton. Where are you gonna see?

[Mike Lynch]

Paris in Vanilla Ice on the same show.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Yeah. That is amazing.

[Mike Lynch]

And that comes from that lineup. Comes from us sitting around thinking, who would be awesome? You know?

[Adam Carolla]

Now you literally do it 24 hours. Like, it's going on at 5:00am Four nights, 24 hours.

[Mike Lynch]

It's. It's. I'll be honest with you. From. From like the sun coming up till about 3 o'clock, most people lay and rest their head.

[Violent J]

It actually starts on the 10th, so people can settle in.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Violent J]

You know, what are you guys doing?

[Adam Carolla]

Is it. What is. I know. I read the venue. Cave and Rock.

[Mike Lynch]

There's a main stage and then there's. There's like four additional stages in the woods. All right? And they go all night. And it features the best of the wicked shit or horror core or whatever you call this style of music, you know, which is sort of like a scary movie on a cd.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Mike Lynch]

You know, but not everybody raps about scary. Some people rap about, you know, anything that takes a little more imagination. In your music. You know what I mean? Like, I know rappers all say keep it real. And we say this a lot. We don't keep it real. We keep it entertaining, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Mike Lynch]

And so any. Any music. We all live in a real world. Why does the music have to be real to me?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. You turn on the news and you hear about some guy went insane and shot up a bunch of kids on an island in Norway or wherever, and then you hear about some Palestinians killing some guys, and then you hear about some mom who drowned her kid in a bathtub. That's enough reality.

[Mike Lynch]

How about a little bit of fancy? How about yes?

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Like to beat off, not cry. That should be your. That's. That's the Juggalo. But we saying right there, we got.

[Mike Lynch]

We got four stages, and. And on these stages, you know, is. Is the most incredible lineup of artists, and they play all night long under the moon in the woods.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, how does it work with, like, Charlie Sheen?

[Mike Lynch]

He's gonna host. He's gonna host.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you reach out to Charlie Sheen? Does somebody come up to you and say, hey, Charlie Sheen.

[Violent J]

That was actually more of a mutual type deal.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Mike Lynch]

We did the Howard Stern show, and somebody said, oh, you guys should get Charlie Sheen. And we started talking about how that. How awesome that would be, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Mike Lynch]

And I'll tell you why. The best of my knowledge, and I could be wrong. To the best, we have been wrong quite a few times about this. But to the best of my knowledge, most bands or artists or comedians or whatever get over on the. At the gathering. If they are the underdog in some way, shape or form.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Mike Lynch]

In other words, if the whole world. If the mainstream is pointing a finger at them, saying, yeah, you're a douchebag, or look at you, you fucking up or what. Bobby Brown, for example, you know, sure.

[Violent J]

Got a bad rep. You know, Lost Vanilla Ice.

[Mike Lynch]

You got the whole world that bought that record.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Mike Lynch]

And then they want to hate him for it later, you know, Records. That's MC Hammer.

[Adam Carolla]

You have an audience of people that feel like underdogs and they feel like disenfranchised, and they feel like their dad let them down, their stepdad let him down, society let them down. And they like underdogs.

[Mike Lynch]

They want to embrace people that maybe catch shit.

[Adam Carolla]

It's right. Yeah. And it feels good. Yeah, it feels good after some guy's been knocked down and humbled that way, to build him back up again.

[Mike Lynch]

And the real magic Isn't about who's on the main stage. The real sale of the Gathering is that feeling. Imagine being feeling like you're an outcast. Like you're alone and there's, you know, even to be a Juggalo or a Jugglette, it's not easy. You walk around with an ICP shirt or tattoo, people are like, you listen to that shit. You know, it's not easy, right? So to go through that shit all year and actually not just being a fan, but you yourself, in your life, you feel like you're an outcast. And you don't. You don't see things the way other people do. Whatever. When you come to the Gathering and all of a sudden you're around tens of thousands of people just like you, it just creates this feeling of freshness. Like the minute you get out of your car, it's just like everybody. There's not one fight on a gathering grounds. There's. There's never been.

[Adam Carolla]

Never been a fight.

[Mike Lynch]

Not never one. You're talking about four days and nights of inebriated crazies. Yeah, there's never been one fight. I put that, to the best of my knowledge. Never even heard of one fight.

[Adam Carolla]

That is insane.

[Violent J]

Juggalos.

[Mike Lynch]

Yeah. The press blew it up last year that there was a stabbing, right? But it was between two hot dog vendors.

[Adam Carolla]

Kenny Loggins fans coming in, some hot.

[Violent J]

Dog vendor outcut the other one, so he stabbed them.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he undercut him on wieners.

[Violent J]

Yeah, that was the problem, you know, Nothing to do with.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a rough trade for hot dog guys.

[Mike Lynch]

Hot dog game might be tough, but even the press that came in and snuck in there on a down low, even reading their reviews, they were like, I was so surprised because I thought, if you're not a Juggalo, you're gonna get beat up, you're gonna get singled out, and they're gonna give you, you know, right? And much to their surprise, it was all love. Like, people walking up, offering them a hit of the blunt, offering them a cheeseburger. Just all love, you know? And the best thing about it is, and maybe this matters to you, maybe it doesn't, but it does to scrubs like Shaggy myself. There's no police. It's all private property. There's no police, there's no security guards, no bullies mugging you, right? Smelling the weed coming out of your.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, camp tent, right? Some guy with the yellow windbreaker and the flashlight. Loud ass walking, guys. Okay, What I'm going to need you to do for me Right now. Let's go ahead and get out of 10, okay? Jiggalo chocolate. What do they call her? What are you drinking? Some of that fag, Dano. Faggo. Faggo. What's that called? Orange Drinks, Purple Fango.

[Mike Lynch]

None of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Total freedom. Total. Is that marijuana cigarette, sir? I'm smelling something right now.

[Violent J]

Challenge with open arms. We just challenged the.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. Yeah, those guys. It's like, come on, you're at a concert. You can't blow a little reefer? What the.

[Mike Lynch]

Literally in the middle of nowhere. You know what I'm saying, right? You don't even put cell phone coverage. It's so far in the middle of nowhere. It's like literally between nothing and never been.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, you guys. You guys have a bunch of calls waiting for you. I got a couple of live spots to do. Huh? Let's see. Want to take. You got a call up there. You like bottles of Fango? Have they consumed in their career? They don't keep track of that. Artists. What artists? Well, we talked about the artists that influence nwa Somebody has a question about your video. One of your videos. I got to do a live read for Legal Zoom. Hey, Matt. Hey, can I help you with the live read there? Yeah, you want to help me with the live read? Oh, yeah. You just agree with everything I say. All right, I'm all over it. Hey, Matt, you waiting for the perfect time to start your dream business? Yeah. Oh, yeah. See, this is what I say. You know in Japan, when one guy's talking and the other guy's next to him and he's not talking, he just says, hey, hey. He just agrees with him. Hey.

[Violent J]

Yes, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's like. Yeah, that's like. I hear you. I agree. All right, you ready? Yeah. Got to be smart with your cash though, right, Matt? Hey, yeah, I'd like a little more of a. Hey. You got it. Yeah. Got to keep your legal fees to a minimum. That's why I recommend legalzoom.com. you're mixing it up. Stick with the standard high, would you answer a few simple questions online. You don't have to answer my high with a high. Fast, easy, 100% guarantee, trial tested documents personalized for your business. Start the corporation or the LLC you've been dreaming of for as little as 99 bucks. Matt.

[Mike Lynch]

What we're talking about, to start your own shit right there.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. There's your opportunity. Legal Zoom. Not a law firm. They provide self help services at your direction. For even more savings, enter the promo code. Adam at the referral box and save even more. Start your business, right? Protect your family and your assets. Legalzoom.com Matt, you got a question? I do. Go right ahead.

[Caller]

I love the car show, Adam. Great show.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, thanks. Oh, yeah, man. The car show. Yeah. Check it out. On Speed on Wednesday nights. Thanks. Go ahead. All right.

[Caller]

Icp, Please don't take this as an insult. Not a big fan, but I've checked out this video from the Miracles, and I can't really tell if it's comedy.

[Adam Carolla]

Or if it's serious or what.

[Caller]

Can you just enlighten me, please?

[Mike Lynch]

No, that's all the way real. That's what I was saying earlier. We have music that's not what people would expect from icp, and actually, we've made songs like Miracles for our whole career, but that was the first time we ever did a video to a song like that. And that's why I think it shocked people. They didn't know we went there, but in reality, we always go there once or twice.

[Violent J]

I don't see where the comedy would lie in there.

[Mike Lynch]

It's about things that are in this world for deep thinkers, you know, things that you live with every day that you maybe overlook, Especially today, when everybody lives on the Internet. Shit. But things that are in this world. Like, you know, I recently had kids and. And just seeing things through their eyes for the first time, you realize how cool some shit is. Like lightning bugs, right? A fucking bug that lights its ass up like a light bulb. How can that not be cool?

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Mike Lynch]

How can that not be cool?

[Adam Carolla]

No, it. Nature, especially. Soon as you get into the ocean, soon as you get underwater. It's like the highest science science fiction writer ever got hold of a bag of crayons and just went. Ate a bag of mushrooms and just went insane. No. And your kids will appreciate it for you, and then they'll force you to appreciate it because you'll have to go, that is pretty cool.

[Mike Lynch]

And it's a shame if you end up forgetting about it. You end up not. You know, and the song Miracles isn't about religion or anything like that. It's just about miracles that are on this earth every day that maybe we forget to look at and realize how awesome they are, man. Like, you know, like a fucking fog. You know what I'm saying? Like, come on, man. You wake up one morning, you can't even drive because there's a cloud in your city. Yeah, this is pretty cool to me that that happens sometimes. It's not the same thing every day. Sometimes it's snow, sometimes it's hot to death, sometimes it's raining, sometimes there's fog. You know, just things like that. Switching things up on the earth that are cool, you know, I think they're cool. I think they're. Little miniature mirror.

[Adam Carolla]

You'd be good weather, man. Lnj. You just get out there and be like, hey, man, what. What do we got today, Sheila? Fucking fog, man. Sometimes, let me tell you, man. Fucking stay home, kiss your kids, would you, man? Go to work, man.

[Mike Lynch]

What was the last time somebody went to the zoo and stood next to a fucking giraffe? How you gonna tell me a giraffe ain't a miracle? It's got a fucking dinosaur neck.

[Adam Carolla]

Its tongue is insane.

[Mike Lynch]

It's. Everything about a giraffe looks like a bad drawing, like a bad kid's drawing.

[Violent J]

But it's a real animal on the fridge. You're just like, oh, this sucks.

[Adam Carolla]

But no, well, we're. Here's. Here's what it is. We're wired to tune things out. Because if you tuned in, life would be devastating. Like, you'd sit around, it'd be beautiful and devastating. You'd see those pictures late night of the kids in Africa that didn't have any food and flies all over them. And you'd just be a. You'd go into a fetal position and never stop crying. You're tuned out. You can switch to channel, watch SportsCenter, start laughing at something, and you move on. So you tune out all the pain in life, but they also tune out all the pleasure. You either got a lid on or you don't. And when you pop the lid off, bad shit gets in and good shit gets in.

[Mike Lynch]

But if it's kind of sad that we could make a song like that and have the whole nation make fun of us for it or not get it. You know, it's kind of sad that somehow that type of shit is so laughed at. How you're talking about what you're bringing that shit up. Get out of here with your corny ass.

[Violent J]

You know that's their bad, man.

[Mike Lynch]

Yeah. To me, if you can't appreciate those miracles, that's your pad.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it sucks to be you.

[Mike Lynch]

If you can stand at the beach in the middle of the night and look up and see all those stars with those waves rolling in over the ocean and not find that shit breathtaking. That sucks to be you, man.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I've said to people a few times? I've said, and I get the same response that you Guys got to the video, which is, I say to people, you know, how long man has been walking this earth, you know, millions and millions and millions of years. The fact that we all happen to be here at the same time and, you know, relatively the same age, that is one in a billion. Just the fact that you're here and I'm here at the same time, right? If you were here in 1855 and I was here, born in 2025, we'd still be really close in time. But the fact that we're both sitting here right now at the same time is kind of a weird miracle coincidence. And also, whether you're in. Whether you live next door to me or you're in another country, who we were waging war upon, it is kind of crazy that we're all here at the exact same time. And this ain't, by the way, we're all going to be gone at about the same time, too, right? So here's the thing. What the fuck are we killing each other for? Shouldn't we relax and enjoy this just a little? Whether you're a hot dog vendor or whether you're a Palestinian and you're an Israeli, we're just here at the same time. We got a little short run here. Just a little window. Just in terms of the Earth's calendar, just blink of an eye, right? How about we sleep with our doors unlocked at night? How about we take care of our fellow man and how about we save the killing for the next group of assholes who shows up when we're gone? But no, we can't do it. We gotta start building bombs and going at each other. And every time I say that to someone, they go, fuck. Kind of fag pills you been eating. But you don't think that's weird? You know, I don't think it's weird. Get the fuck out of here. And then it's like, all right. I mean it, though, right?

[Mike Lynch]

Well, you know, in the fear of the end of the world, you know, my philosophy is, if we're here living on this earth when it ends, that's a blessing, man. Like, it's been around so many millions of years, and we actually get to be here to see it end. You know, you're not.

[Violent J]

Miss you, but everybody at the same time, we all go right then.

[Mike Lynch]

That way at least you don't have to worry about, well, I died, and then everything happened without me. From there, we all die together, you.

[Adam Carolla]

Know, I don't think you worry about that after you're dead, though. I know you guys have to catch a plane, by the way. Maybe you guys can help me out. You guys on the road a lot, right?

[Mike Lynch]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You ever check out Go to my PC?

[Mike Lynch]

What's that?

[Adam Carolla]

Go to my PC. Here's what they do you. Oh, it's the ultimate freedom. You can check what's on your computer from any computer or your iPad. You. If you needed to get something off your computer, like, you were like, oh, man, I got some pictures and I want to show you my kids, but they're on my computer at home. If you're. If you sign up for Go to my PC, you can just go on your iPad or go on your portable computer, your laptop computer, and just go get whatever's at your office or at your home. It's freedom. It's the ultimate freedom. It'll work on a PC, it'll work on a Mac. Easy to get started. Sets up in just minutes. And you can try it for free. That's right. 45 days free. Hell, the world may be over by the time you have to cut your first check to go to my PC. 45 day free trial. Download the app from the App Store and then visit gotomypc.com try it free. That's right.

[Violent J]

Commercials.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you can try it free. Hit the Try it free button at the promo code, Adam, and you're in. Go to my PC, everybody. All right, Insane Clown Posse. I know you guys gotta catch a flight. I don't know where you're heading to or where you're heading out of, but I'm seeing on the screen you gotta catch a flight. We're gonna be at the Universal CityWalk this Thursday with Penn Jillette and the Ontario with Greg Fitz.

[Giovanni]

All right, this is Adam Cole Show 619 with ICP 2011. Up next, we have Adam Cole Show 659 with Jane Goodall, Alison Rosen, Brian Bishop. Jane is phoning in. It led to a legendary drop that we all probably are familiar with. She's come up recently on the show where Adam stumbled on her name, Jane Goodall. Obviously something we're talking about. Let me just play this clip. So here's the interview from 2011. Hope you guys enjoy.

[Adam Carolla]

Get it on. Good day, Bald Brian.

[Allison Rosen]

Try this for easy squeeze.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello, Adam. Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Excited to speak to Jane Goodall.

[Allison Rosen]

Me too.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like I've been hearing about her my entire life. And, you know, if you're a Corolla, you know the Corollas, we love that shit.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, this Woman, she gave her life. She lives amongst the noble apes and does that whole. That's. My family's into that.

[Allison Rosen]

She can go over there.

[Adam Carolla]

To where?

[Allison Rosen]

Wherever the gorillas are.

[Adam Carolla]

Africa?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

We have to understand, if Africa was next door, they would have on top of them.

[Allison Rosen]

If Africa was in your living room.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, there's a lot. It's funny because it comes up like, I can't believe your mom didn't live down in, you know, San Francisco or Venice Beach, California. Yeah. That would involve moving, number one and then paying rent or finding a place to live. You know what I mean? There's things that are causes, but those causes involve movement. So it's a lot of like. Well, your mom would have been a big champion of this. Your dad should have been definitely into that. Yes, that's true. But it also would involve, you know, giving money to charity, getting on an airplane, renting a car. They were against that more than. There were four gorillas is what I'm saying. Their number one cause was lethargic.

[Allison Rosen]

Serving energy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Just their own. You know what I mean? Energy conservation starts at home. And when they said at home, they mean in, within. Don't get off the sofa.

[Allison Rosen]

If lethargy is your religion, what are you?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm a lethargist.

[Allison Rosen]

A lethargist. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Latter day lethargist.

[Allison Rosen]

A seventh day lethargist.

[Adam Carolla]

We were gonna do Seventh day, and then no one could really get off the sofa. So we went with eight. And then some guys didn't show up to that meeting. And then we just sort of said, you know, latter day, we couldn't get the days.

[Brian Bishop]

What do we get around to it.

[Adam Carolla]

When we get around to it? Lethargist.

[Allison Rosen]

The whenever lethargist.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so yesterday I started the show and I was praising the Burbank airport for putting down some of those mats. I was basically saying that everything I complain about comes fruition. And they put down these antibacterial mats so that all the people got their shoes off, would walk through it. Well, that was in Burbank when I was coming home and I was going through San Francisco's airport. It's funny, too, because you can kind of, you know what city you're in by what is going on at the airport. You see, oh, there's the Pete's Coffee versus the Sparro Pizza. You know, just this magazine stands, what they're presenting. You know, if you go anywhere, like in. Around the Phoenix area. And there's a lot of Indian bullshit, you know, turquoise bullshit, and dream catchers. And, like, southwest, as far as I.

[Brian Bishop]

Can see, all, like, wine shops and tech shops.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And you sort of sourdough bread kiosks.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Allison Rosen]

Kiosks made out of sourdough.

[Adam Carolla]

When you start turning bread into a bowl or a Birkenstock, that's when you got me a bread and stock. When somebody says.

[Allison Rosen]

When they pour soup in your shoes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Somebody says, listen, I like, you know, clam chowder as much as the next guy. Or French onion. But you know what?

[Brian Bishop]

It.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you what. The bowl too much. There should be nothing on this plate, including the plate, that you can't consume. This is essentially Whitey's version of the fiesta salad, where they take. Where they make the bowl out of a tostada. In a tostada. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

It really does push your snack or your meal just over the edge in terms of fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, there's a weird thing, too, where. Where do you stop? Because I would consume the entire thing and then start getting into the table. You know what I mean? That's. That's me. Where does it end? You know? And do you. If you're out with polite company, like, if you're out on a date, you cannot eat the bowl. You can't eat the bowl. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

Can you gingerly pick at it?

[Adam Carolla]

I think you can sort of scoop it out like a melon.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, I see.

[Adam Carolla]

You can do it like a cantaloupe cut in half.

[Allison Rosen]

You might.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't start digging. Well, once you've. Once you're done with the. With the Whatever. Whatever's inside the bowl.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You can get into scraping it like a melon. You think you'd eat it like half a cantaloupe. Start with the big stuff and then work your way to the edge. But you couldn't actually consume the bowl. Not the outer part.

[Allison Rosen]

This is why I'm single. I mean, I'm actually not, but it would be.

[Adam Carolla]

If I was homeless, I would head down to the SFO airport there, and I would just hang around that place and go, you're gonna finish that bowl. I mean, you've had, you know, you've had your fill of the chowder, the French onion and whatever's in it. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

You're just gonna leave the whole bowl.

[Adam Carolla]

And you hollowed out the white part of the sourdough. I'm just asking for the brown part.

[Allison Rosen]

Around outside the rind.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You ate the lid, for God's sake.

[Allison Rosen]

The exo bowl.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

Now I would want to pour the soup out and just get to the Bowl. I must admit, they should. You know what?

[Mike Lynch]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

It has to emulsify. You're missing a key process. Once it happens, it never ends.

[Allison Rosen]

This is not my first bowl. They should also serve, you know, like, with a milkshake. When they give you that silver goblet thing that has the extra in it, they should give you one of those with extra soup. And that's what I would use to pour the soup back in after the emulsification had gone. Had occurred.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, we spilled some of the same chowder and some of the same powder.

[Allison Rosen]

Ah, fuck Manhattan. Or the other one.

[Adam Carolla]

Red or white New England.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's the deal. You have to let it sit in the bowl because the bowl is absorbing it. It's brining. You know what I mean? It's a briny bowl. It's marinating. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Stewing.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna get that. I want one of those so bad right now.

[Allison Rosen]

They only have them in not that many places.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, as a native San Franciscan, I will say the veteran move. Eat a little bit of the clam chowder and then use the, you know, in sort of an orange peel fashion, Use the bowl as you're eating it to dip into the clam chowder.

[Allison Rosen]

This is so Jane Goodall, because that is totally using tools, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Do we have to limit this to just chowder? In San Francisco, I would drink my.

[Allison Rosen]

Coffee in a bread bowl.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'd drink a fresca out of a hollowed out baguette. Like, why do I have to limit it to just chowder?

[Brian Bishop]

Seriously, Shotgun it like the yard house.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You want some postum? It's in a loaf of bread.

[Allison Rosen]

I would love postum in bread.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And why is it just sourdough?

[Adam Carolla]

That's a good point. Well, I don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, not Navajo bread.

[Adam Carolla]

Too porous. Use your head, woman. Leak like a sieve. Why don't you just dump it down the drain? Cause that's where it's going.

[Brian Bishop]

Duh.

[Allison Rosen]

You're right.

[Adam Carolla]

You're right.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm sorry. Wow, that was stupid of me.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, that was a stupid question. Yeah, it is. I could never.

[Allison Rosen]

You know how they say there's no stupid question? I've proven them wrong. That was really dumb.

[Adam Carolla]

But. But there's no form of soup, including many things that fall into the stew family that I would not accept in a sourdough bread bowl. You know what I mean? I'd just take vegetable soup.

[Allison Rosen]

What about gazpacho?

[Adam Carolla]

I'd take gazpacho yeah, you'd be hard pressed. Even a cold vegetable soup would be good in the bread bowl. Actually give you. That would be the best part about the gazpacho.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the best part. I think every soup in a bread bowl. The bowl would be the best part.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but clam chowder can stand on its own.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Clam chowder, ironically does not need the crutch known as the bread ball nearly as much as lentils would need it. But yet here it is. You're gilding the lily here, people, with your. Yeah, you are.

[Allison Rosen]

And plus, if we just want to pick nits here, there's potatoes in the clam chowder. It doesn't need the carb assistance.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not like someone says, we gotta squeeze a few more calories out of this briny soupy calorie menagerie as it is. Right. I mean, calorically, it's about as high as you're gonna get.

[Allison Rosen]

Ooh, nacho cheese.

[Adam Carolla]

How about some corn chowder in a bowl?

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so here's what we've established. Not just any bowl will do. It's gotta be sourdough. Cause that is, you could build a boat out of some of the earlier Noah's ar. Yeah, I'm saying World War II, some of the earlier ships were actually built out of sourdough.

[Allison Rosen]

The Lusitania would not have gone down.

[Adam Carolla]

If it had been built out of sourdough. Number one. Number two, clam chowder needs the least help of any of the chowders and or soups. Start with a lentil, work your way to a navy bean, and then go vegetable.

[Brian Bishop]

Maybe because it's less brothy, it does less damage to the actual bread. You know what I mean? Like, the vegetable soup would certainly compromised the structural integrity of the bread bowl.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, that's a very valid point. As a guy who races vintage cars, I say, how about I run synthetic oil? And they go, the seals aren't made for it in the older cars. Didn't have the tolerances. It'll leak. It's too thin. Right? The chicken. Yeah, you need the more viscous stuff. You know what? You're right. I owe an apology to all the folks out there that put soup inside of hollowed out bowls. I agree with Walt, Bryan. And then what do you do? I would imagine how fast you'd get up to £500 if you were the guy who was in charge of hollowing out the bowl. The bread bowl. Because you couldn't throw it away. You'd have a little tub of I can't believe it's not butter. Like, next year. Or a crock pot. You know, crock.

[Allison Rosen]

There's no.

[Adam Carolla]

A spray bottle crock next year. Yeah. And it just all go right in the mouth. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

You wouldn't feel good about that giant donut hole.

[Brian Bishop]

There's only so many pigeons.

[Adam Carolla]

I was gonna say, either I'd have to have a pet pigeon with me or just all go to my head. Cause I could not toss out that beautiful inner bowl.

[Allison Rosen]

You know what would be ideal is if you also worked in a French onion soup factory. And then you could throw the bread into the French onion soup and then send it out in a little tureen. Because they don't put those in bread bowls for Lord knows why.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. I think we've covered that for now. We'll talk more about it when Jim Goodall gets on this blower, though. That's for damn sure.

[Brian Bishop]

What made you think of that? Because you were talking about things you deemed.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, airports.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, you got airports.

[Adam Carolla]

I was gonna complain about the San Francisco airport, and I just decided to do 12 minutes on the bread bowl. Yeah, so you do. When you walk through the airport, you know where you're at. Like, when you go to Reno and you see a big stuffed bear and it's fighting with a cougar on top of a fake mountain, like, you go, I know where I'm at. Oh, I can get a People magazine and have my saddle repaired. Like, there's, like, a lot of that stuff that's sort of indigenous to where you're at. And I'd like to think that probably San Francisco, Chicago, these. You know, like, you can get a good dog at Chicago. But I was complimenting the carpet as I was leaving Burbank, and I put San Francisco just sort of up on the food chain above Los Angeles a good several hundred years. Like, they're just more evolved people over there. They're better. They're smarter. Their city's nicer. Everything's better over there. And I look down when I was leaving San Francisco in my socks after kicking my shoes off and going through security last night and saw a lot of black marks on the floor and then started taking pictures. Now the first thing they do is they make the carpet. So if you dropped a chandelier on it, you couldn't find it. It's the same carpet. It's the same stuff they use at casinos and strip clubs. Like, you could literally drink a daiquiri, vomit all over the floor. And no one would be the wiser. Yeah, none the wiser. But if you look to the left hand side of the picture there, up about 4 inches from the bottom, you will see large chunk of gum that is on the ground and it's got like seeds and sticks and shit in it. And if you look to the right of it, about 3:00, there's another smaller chunk of gum. Now meanwhile, I just set my camera phone here and I'm going as fast as I can and hoping I'm not going to be arrested. But I think there might even be another picture too. There were gum. And first off, can I say this? If you can outlaw, if you can outlaw smoking everywhere, can we get rid of the fucking gum too? Because we got a problem. We have people that chew gum, which is fine when you live in a polite society. I imagine in Japan and in Germany and societies like that. Not a big issue. United States is filled with self entitled ass wipes. I mean just guys who don't give a fuck about anyone else. I mean the kind of guys that would fill up their ashtray with cigarette butts and then pull over by the side of the curb and just empty it into a nice pyramid so the neighbor could enjoy it. We can't be trusted with gum. You know what I mean? In Japan it's not that part. It's the part where we're too big at dicks to handle gum. Like I feel like in Japan somebody would put it in a piece of paper and wrap it up. They wouldn't stick it under the counter for your hand to find when you were at the fast food joint or wherever. I want you to know that the pair of pants that I'm wearing right now. The pocket. And I'll figure it out in a second. You see the spot in the pocket?

[Allison Rosen]

I do.

[Adam Carolla]

You see what that is? That is the remnants of a piece of gum. Do you want to know why? Because I had a piece of gum in my mouth and I was at a place like an airport or someplace where it was all carpeted and I was like getting onto a plane or I was doing something and I didn't have the wrapper and I didn't have anything and I literally put it in my pocket. I wasn't going to throw it on the ground or stick it underneath something as a gift for someone else who went to the chili's at the restaurant to find.

[Allison Rosen]

Technically your gum is probably something people would want, could sell on ebay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got one of his pubes in it. So it's a bonus, bonus chew. All right. There is another picture of the gum and there was gum strewn everywhere. And eventually, you know it's gum because it just turns black. It just eventually collects all the filters in its environment.

[Allison Rosen]

Like how tattoos turn green, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Just literally just turns black. And there was black spot after black spot after black spot. And I thought a, are we a good enough society to be trusted with gum? I mean, when you go to the shitty parts of town, like when you go to Boys Town and you walk down the sidewalk, you don't see any gum stuck all over the place. When you go to the shitty part of town, it rhymes with it. When you go to the shitty part town, you see it everywhere. Because people don't give a fuck. They're self entitled dicks. Everyone thinks the world revolves around them. I would love to do a country gum on the sidewalk thing. I'll bet you Japan is number one. It's the same reason there's no looting after the tsunami. I was surprised. I'd like to think that those were out of towners passing through the San Francisco airport. But when you have an airport or department store or food store or any kind of business and there's a place where you're asking thousands, hundreds of thousands of people to kick their shoes off and either walk in their socks or barefoot, how about you clean the fucking gum off the fucking floor? Yeah, how about that? Am I insane for asking this?

[Brian Bishop]

It's not an airport thing or like an airline thing. Is the airline responsible for that?

[Adam Carolla]

Because.

[Brian Bishop]

Because Virgin America, for example, just redid their SFO terminal. It's gorgeous. It's like brand new. This may have been, I don't know what airline it was, but it may have been the airline's responsibility to keep the carpets.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it is, it was United. But people, anyone going from Terminal 65 to Terminal 85 would pass through there, which would include, I don't know, eight other airlines. So I don't know how they break it up. But it's not like everyone going there is getting on my United flight. I wish. It's a whole bunch of people. And soon as they pass through, they look at that sign that says terminal 60 that way and terminal 50 that way, and they start going their separate ways. Whatever it is, there's gum all over the fucking floor on the stretch of the carpet where we're in our bare feet. What the fuck is going on?

[Allison Rosen]

Yuck.

[Adam Carolla]

Why is this not nobody? And again, the place I left Burbank, evidently somebody Invented these floor mats that are antibacterial and they're 2 foot wide and 4 foot long. And you roll them out. I'll bet you they're all a 14 bucks a pop.

[Allison Rosen]

Who would think that Burbank would be ahead of San Francisco?

[Adam Carolla]

That's my goddamn point. You should hang your head in shame. City by the bay. Yes, you should. You and that. Your fucking Journey. Shitty Journey song.

[Brian Bishop]

And your clam chowder.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Delicious bread bowl.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Ghirardelli chowder.

[Brian Bishop]

I turned the corner.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, all right. Where the hell were we? You got your news over there. I want to give a little love to our folks that support us via Amazon. I love that. You guys gotta get something off Amazon. School supplies, maybe a Halloween costume, whatever you're getting off Amazon. And listen, if you hear us, you're handy with a computer, you do a lot of shopping. Click through our website and support us. It's easy, it's free, it costs you nothing. It takes eight seconds. Use the Amazon link on our site and the next time you're thinking about hap. Hopping on Amazon to whatever, maybe, maybe some chowder. Make a gumball out of what I pull up off the carpet. There's the antibacterial thing. Next time you're going to Amazon, just go to Amcrolo and click on through. It's so easy. And again. It's that thing too. Once somebody does it, everybody has to do it.

[Brian Bishop]

Seamless transition. It almost sounds like you're still talking about Amazon.

[Adam Carolla]

It's so easy. It's so easy now. Like when I say to my dentist, because my teeth are killing me, when he's just done that super vicious cleaning and now he's hitting it with that frosty cold water. And I say, hey, man, you know, somebody ought to invent an inline water heater for that thing so the water's warm so you don't spray that cold water all over everyone's sensitive teeth. And it's not so painful when he gives me this answer. Oh, they got those wrong answer right. It's like once they invent those things, then they need to be installed in alt dentist's office. And once they have the antibacterial floor mats, especially in lowly Burbank. Fucking Burbank's an armpit of an airport. Once they have it at Burbank, come on. Sfo.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And rest of the world, roll them out.

[Allison Rosen]

It's science. It's like vaccines.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't you think you could outfit that entire security line for under 300 bucks.

[Allison Rosen]

I bet you could.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Thank you. All right, where were we? The news.

[Allison Rosen]

News.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Mike Lynch]

From the International News center next to Donnie's mini bikes, this is the news with Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Orange County District Attorney Tony Roccakis announced Wednesday that two Fullerton police officers have been criminally charged in the violent confrontation that left a homeless man dead.

[Adam Carolla]

That's Ricocula.

[Allison Rosen]

Officer Manuel Ramis has been charged with second degree murder and involuntary manslaughter in connection with beating of 37 year old Kelly Thomas. Kelly Thomas, a homeless schizophrenic man. Officer Jay Ciccianelli has been charged with involuntary manslaughter.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm looking at a picture of these two and they don't look capable of doing this.

[Allison Rosen]

No, they don't. What's up with the guy on the left's eyes?

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, how many times I have to tell you about cops and. And by the way, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, you know, if this dude was black, where would you be right now? Louisiana. Be on fucking fire right now. Yes, that's the point.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a good thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Cops are assholes and they kick the shit out of everybody. You fuck with them, they beat the shit out of you.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. This was the July 5th beating and subsequent death of the schizophrenic homeless man, Kelly Thomas, whose father, dad was a cop. And he, you know, they beat him and they tased him repeatedly. And he was saying that he's hurt, he was saying, I'm sorry, he was calling for his dad. Like, it's just heartbreaking.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, here's the whole thing. The cops are about 20 years behind the technology that's putting them behind bars. The cops are sort of one step removed from the criminals. I mean, in high school, the criminal dudes and the cop dudes, the ones that were gonna go on to be behind bars and put people behind bars, almost the same dude. Aggressive, angry, controlling, whatever. And if you fuck with them, they fuck with you. You outrun them, they kick the shit out of you, they catch up to you, you throw a fist at them, they throw a thousand fists at you. And then a whole bunch of steel toed boots. That's what they do. They've always done it, it. We've always turned it into just a purely racial thing. And I've been trying to tell my black brothers, our six black listeners, actually one died of diabetes. Our five marshalle went from sickle cell, are four black listeners. Cops are assholes. They're assholes to everybody. They pull everyone over for no, everybody's like, oh, driving while black. No, you get, I got a thousand chicken shit tickets in my life. Yeah, the guy I worked with, Matt Farah, said he's got pulled over for going one mile an hour faster than the speed limit five different times.

[Brian Bishop]

You do have happy hair.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Maybe just from the back windows. Just from the back, Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I said, just to be safe, let's pull this guy over.

[Adam Carolla]

I shouldn't have lowered the jack.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, I'm just glad that they, you know, didn't get off without anything because there were six cops involved in this and it seemed like there was a really good chance that they would all just kind of go, well, and here's the deal.

[Adam Carolla]

They would have if somebody didn't film this now, right? See, this kind of shit would happen all the time, all over the country, once a week. And it was, let's talk to all the cops. Hey, he was out of control. He took a swing at me. He was threatening us. He pulled out something that looked like a knife. It turned out to be a screwdriver. We don't know what happened to it. We were defending ourselves. And then all the six cops get on the same page and that's about it. And then some point, somebody comes forward and says, hey, these guys kicked the shit out of this guy. He was defenseless. Oh, this junkie whore. You're gonna take her word for it or you're gonna take six cops words for it? And they would just get on the same page. And that was that. That was one of the perks of being a cop. You got to kick the shit out of people. Well, now they have dashboard cams and everyone's got a fucking flip phone and you can't do it anymore.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks for nothing, YouTube.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Imagine people who decided to become cops thinking they could beat the shit out of people.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the whole plan?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Now what are they gonna do? They're gonna have to become what, they.

[Adam Carolla]

Just sit around and write people chicken shit tickets?

[Allison Rosen]

Now, Bob Cat Goldthwaite directed a new movie called God Bless America. It's a diatribe against pop culture like the Kardashians, Glenn Beck, Jersey Shore and Diablo Cody. The film follows a directionless individual who decides to go on a killing spree with his 16 year old accomplice when he finds out he may be terminally ill. Along the way, the film apparently takes on everything, including Star Trek, Jeff Foxworthy, Glenn Beck, American Idol, Fox News, Jersey Shore energy drinks, Jackass, American Idol, and Diablo Cody. Well, she was none too pleased with being attacked.

[Adam Carolla]

Why did it take her on?

[Allison Rosen]

Well. Well, this is what. I don't know why he went after her, but this is what she had to say about it on her blog, Honest to Blur. In the meantime, I've been sad because I heard Bobcat Goldthwaite, who is actually a really talented writer director, brought a movie to Toronto that rips on everything stupid about American pop culture, namely reality tv, Idol, Kardashians. And me, I don't even consider myself a part of pop culture these days. I'm a screenwriter with a hit or miss career. I don't really go out to events. I don't have a million Twitter followers or a massive fandom. In fact, I seem to have a much larger and more vocal unfandom, if you know what I'm saying. I would think that to pollute pop culture to such a degree that it warrants being eviscerated in a movie, one would need to be, you know, powerful, visible, ubiquitous. I'm none of those things, and I haven't been in a while. Maybe this movie has been on the shelf. Hope so, but I doubt it. I ordinarily shake these things off, but it sucks extra hard when the criticism comes from someone you admire. Shakes the Clown is an excellent movie. Plus, I always assumed Goldthwaite and I were kindred spirits. We both have silly, aggro, fake names, and we both spent our careers, his long, mine short, trying to transcend the gimmicks were known for. Dear Bobcat, Juno is my growly voice. Let me evolve as you have evolved.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Chowder in a ball. That was that. Wow, that was good. Well, here's a couple things. You can't piss off people that write for a living.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean? Because when you piss off one of the Jersey Shore dudes, you get, hey, fuck. Fuck that fucking dude. Fuck that fucking Bob. Bob Thwaite. Goldvart, man. That dude's douche.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And he can suck my balls, dude.

[Allison Rosen]

That was Pauly D. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. That's all I can tell. That's all. It's not good to get in an elevator with those guys because they crush you. But in terms of the Twitter war, or the back and the four of the words. The words. Fuck that douche. Fuck. I saw that fucking Police Academy, man. I mean, his shit was funny, but his parts weren't because I had a fucking. The Jew is in that, man. What's his name, man? You know that dude that doesn't work.

[Allison Rosen]

Anymore with the hair? Yeah, that used to be long.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that dude was funny. Anyway, fuck that noise, dude. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it is.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, you did.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all you get. But when you. When you fuck with someone who writes for a living, get something that's, you know, well put together.

[Allison Rosen]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

That was. I'm in love with Diablo now because I love the fact that she said that Juno was her growly voice. That was Bobcat back in the day, who felt like he couldn't go out on stage without that thing and let her get over it, just like you got over that. But she killed him with kindness. She tossed some compliments his way. See, as a guy who says asinine things about other people all the time, I would much prefer a fuck you. You're not funny.

[Allison Rosen]

I wonder if the first version of that blog post had some of that and then she took it out. Maybe not.

[Adam Carolla]

It's great because it's well crafted and all you can do is feel guilty, right?

[Allison Rosen]

I feel guilty.

[Adam Carolla]

But I love Bobcat. He's a great guy. He's a good friend. And he makes bizarre, sick movies. He makes movies about people having sex with dogs.

[Allison Rosen]

I would like to have sex with him. I actually discussed that on the parent experiment.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Allison Rosen]

Mm. Strangely attracted to him and a lot of women. Which?

[Adam Carolla]

Him, Thin him or fat him? Him.

[Allison Rosen]

The which one did Was at our show.

[Adam Carolla]

Fat him.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, my God, they're fat.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no. He was fat and then he got thin and then he put the weight back on.

[Allison Rosen]

All of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Different weight.

[Allison Rosen]

You're right. You don't put the same pounds back on.

[Mike Lynch]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, work. That would be.

[Allison Rosen]

Huh?

[Adam Carolla]

You're like, where was I when I lost those three pounds? I think we're in San Diego, weren't we? Oh, I retraced my steps. What didn't I eat? Ah, shit.

[Allison Rosen]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't eat.

[Allison Rosen]

You'd have to go to the gym.

[Adam Carolla]

They eat that chowder in the bowl at the San Francisco airport. Or was that the bread bowl? Oh, fuck. Did I eat the lid or not?

[Allison Rosen]

I didn't even notice the extra pounds on him. Because with him, I don't. It's not about the actual physical thing. It's the spirit, the gentle spirit.

[Adam Carolla]

If you're letting Bob mount you, then I. You don't have a bunch of. Hey, I need svelte, skinny Bob or I need. You're not basing your decision on what he looks like in his underpants.

[Allison Rosen]

Maybe I'd be on top.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm. Yeah, absolutely.

[Allison Rosen]

So let's talk about taxes.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like a guy Named Bobcat would mount you.

[Allison Rosen]

I feel like he'd maul you.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm saying. With his love. Yeah, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay. Taxes.

[Adam Carolla]

Good guy.

[Allison Rosen]

In his recently released deficit plan, President Obama lays out the Buffett rule, named for Warren Buffett, the famous investor and supporter of Obama. The rule, as Obama defines it, is that people making more than 1 million a year should not pay a smaller share of their.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Brian. Five bucks. I told him it was Jimmy.

[Allison Rosen]

Sorry, do you want to pay up right now?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'll pay after the show. The Buffett rule. I was almost sure it was after.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Why not? The guy makes millions of dollars. He's having a good time. Wouldn't you rather be under the Buffett, you know, Jimmy Buffett plan?

[Brian Bishop]

I figure under Warren or Jimmy, they're both very rich. I would go either.

[Adam Carolla]

Either way, one of them's a part.

[Allison Rosen]

One of them. You could be a parrot head at the party of one of them. The other one's just rich.

[Adam Carolla]

Where was you?

[Allison Rosen]

The rule, as Obama defines it, is that people making more than 1 million a year should not pay a smaller share of their income in taxes than middle class families pay. The Tax Policy Center, a center left. Joint creation of the Brookings Institution and Urban Institute. Publishes federal tax statistics by income group.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, that's a center left. So that's not the right.

[Allison Rosen]

It's not the right.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the center. Politically. It's the center and the left.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And they did a study.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody tweeted me this. While we have it. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And we're talking about what I always talk about, which is percentage. Everyone gets caught up in the percentage thing. It's sort of. I guess it'd be like a meal where everybody. Ooh, I may have an example or a metaphor here, but it's like. It's like, I'll try to work this out. But it's like if you went out and you had a. Had a. Had a meal, and you're out with like, five friends, and they all ordered steaks and beers, and you just ordered a salad, but you paid in 100 bucks, and everyone else paid in a higher. You essentially paid. Oh, wait a minute.

[Allison Rosen]

Maybe I could fix this. I could do it for you. Okay. Everyone sits down to dinner, and someone has a big soup bowl, and then someone just has a donut. Yeah, a donut hole sitting in front of them. And someone comes by and takes. Okay, I'm gonna take a third of your soup bowl. And I'm also gonna take A third of your doughnut hole. And the person with the donut hole would be like, but I have nothing left. Whereas the person with the soups, the. Has a buttload of soup sitting there. So is that fair?

[Adam Carolla]

Right. No, I mean, what I'm saying is, I'm saying you're at the table, the check comes around and it's time to whack up the check. You got the same amount as everyone else got, but you're paying 10 times as much as everybody, and they want you to pay more. Essentially. And I'll work this metaphor out again, but you're not getting anymore.

[Allison Rosen]

But read that in your analogy. You. The food is the. Is like everything the city is.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just hungry. I can't talk about chowder for that.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, let's talk about math then. In 2010, according to the TPC, Americans in the lowest quintile of income earners, the bottom 20% paid minus 3.8% of the total federal income tax burden.

[Adam Carolla]

Quintile is 20%?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. You don't hear the word quintile enough.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's. You're like quarter, which would be 25%. That's like quintuplets.

[Allison Rosen]

It really is.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so the bottom 20% did what?

[Allison Rosen]

Paid minus 3.8% of the total federal.

[Adam Carolla]

Income tax burden, meaning they used more than they put in. Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

The second quintile paid minus 4.3% of the total federal federal income tax burden.

[Adam Carolla]

Minus.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So the two lowest, lowest paying groups out of the five actually suckled up the teat of took more out than they put in.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

Those in the middle quintile did not get enough attention from their parents.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. They're Jan. Jan Brady paid 3.9%.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so they're no minus anymore.

[Allison Rosen]

Correct.

[Adam Carolla]

They're putting something into the pot.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, they're putting.

[Adam Carolla]

How much money did those people make on average?

[Allison Rosen]

Does it say 44,000?

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. All right, so they're in the middle and they're putting in 3.9. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

Those in the fourth quintile, whose income ranged from 58,000 to 102,000, paid 15.1%.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

Meanwhile, Americans in the highest point. 1%.

[Adam Carolla]

1.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. These are people.

[Adam Carolla]

Not 1.0, 0.1.

[Allison Rosen]

Right, right. These are people with incomes of at least, least 1.974 million.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

They paid 16.4%.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So they paid the highest. And they paid well. The two, the bottom two are in the minus department. And then. So they paid well. I think the paper says 80%.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. In other words, the top point 1% paid more toward the workings of government than the bottom 80% did.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

That's despite the fact that the bottom 80% collectively made more than six times as much money as the top point 1% did. On average, a given member of the top point 1% paid 1.1 million in annual federal tax.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

$1,147,616 to be more exact. That's more than 1,000 times what the average person in the middle quintile.

[Adam Carolla]

1,000 times more than 1,000 times.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All right, so here's my point. Instead of figuring out ways to get more money out of me, how about you fucking thank me and stop fucking complaining and you get into this percentage bullshit? I'll go throw a percentage. Okay, So I paid 31% and you paid 33%. Here's a percentage I paid a thousand times more than you. Doesn't that fucking work? Do you know what I'm saying? There's a number. A thousand times more. More than a thousand times more. And really, when am I gonna start paying my fair share?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, so what is it that you're proposing, though? That you should be paying less or that people should get off your back or that you should be getting more from the cops and from the streets?

[Adam Carolla]

Couple of things. First off the fucking discussion, this. Hey, man, you gotta start paying your fair share. Shut the fuck up. 1,000% more. Shut up. So stop with the politicians pandering. They get a whole bunch of people in the bottom end or close to the bottom end, and they get up there and they go, it's high time these fat cats pay their fair share. And everyone just does this. Shut up. We're paying a thousand times more than you are. Shut up. So stop talking about that. Number two, when it comes to percentage, we don't need to adjust the percentage because the amount is so much greater. Look, we have a tax. In California, the tax is 9.9. Whatever, it's 10%. Now, if you buy the very economical Nissan Versa, that car is 11 grand. And so when you buy that car, it's going to cost you $1,100 worth of tax. Now, if I would like to buy myself a $200,000 car, well, then I'm going to pay in $20,000 worth of tax. Do we need to adjust it? No, I paid 20 grand. I have money. I paid $200,000 per car. So I paid 20 into the pot. You paid 1,000 into the pot. Now, what you're saying is, to me is you need to pay your fair share. I did. I paid $19,000 into the pot, more than you to drive on the same roads, use the same gasoline, go over the same potholes, use the same everything that involves cars. And I have put in an extra $19,000. But no, my percentage should be 14%. So you pay $1,000 instead of me paying $20,000 for my car. I should pay $27,000 because I should pay a greater percentage. Well, I've already paid 20 times as much as you. Who the fuck cares about the percentage? Even if you cut my percentage in half. Hey, you pay 10% on your sales tax, I'll pay 5% on my $200,000 card. I still paid in $10,000 to your 1,000. But the fact that we're even the same is insane to me. Of course it should be that way. Name me a facet of life or it doesn't work that way. The more you pay in, the more you get in every facet of life, except for this. And I don't mind paying in a thousand times as much as the guys in the bottom percent, but. Shut the fuck up. We can both pay 28% or we can both pay 32%, but I'm not paying 35 to you. Paying 28% when you're in a fucking negative as it is.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's like you're paying. You should be paying hush money. And they should shut up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, shut.

[Allison Rosen]

Shut up, Taz.

[Adam Carolla]

And politicians. Stop your fucking pandering. Stop pretending that the rich aren't fucking pulling the rest with them. It's bullshit. Of course the percentage should be the same. And this part about how much you can absorb, that's not the issue. It really isn't. Because if you want to make that the issue, then let's open it up. Because there's countries where they don't have pots to piss in, they don't have clean water to drink, they're getting dysentery. So our poor people would be relatively rich to those folks. How about they give some of their money to those folks in Biafra so that they can have clean water and whatever. Oh, you're not giving them your money. Why not? You have two TV sets. They don't have one TV set. You can distill this down. You can keep it going as far as you want to keep it going. People need incentive to work. People need to bust their ass, and then they need to pare. They need to Pay their fair share.

[Allison Rosen]

Can I ask you a question?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Is what bothers you most, the notion that you should give away more money or that people are judging or neither.

[Adam Carolla]

I know that when you give people something, they resent you. When you have more than other people, they resent you. Everyone who's listening, think about that family member you had to lend five grand to. Were they especially appreciative when you saw them on the following Thanksgiving or were they sort of dicky? Everyone has had that conversation where they've driven home with their wife and they're like, jesus Christ, I gave my fucking older brother Brad five grand for his. So he could buy his, you know, fill in the blank, put down his contract. We just Christmas came and went and even got a fucking card from the guy. Like they're dickier. Why? Because they're ashamed. It's ashaming. You shame them by paying for them. And when they feel shame instead of internalizing, they externalize. So they push it out at you. So they're pissed off at the government. The people that take the most from the government are the ones who are most pissed off at the government. For me. Yes. I'm tired of the pay your fair share. That gets really fucking old when you're cutting the government checks for hundreds of thousands.

[Allison Rosen]

People saying this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Cut your fair. You know, pay your fair share. And the percentile gets really old too when you're paying 20 times as much or a thousand times as much. Thank you.

[Allison Rosen]

A crew member on the Charlie's Angels set has been fired after slapping Minka Kelly's. But there was a report out that the guy was holding a hundred dollar bill when he slapped her and that she retaliated later by slapping him. But TMZ sources say.

[Adam Carolla]

In the face.

[Allison Rosen]

No, it doesn't say where. She slapped him in the groin. Yeah, I want to think it was. But. But, but crime she's a pin of.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. But TMZ sources say that's not true. What did happen, according to sources directly connected to the production, is that the man's slapped Kelly. She responded by telling him, who is number one? Please don't ever disrespect me or any other woman like that again. Some of the witnesses.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, how inspiring.

[Allison Rosen]

I burned my raw to that.

[Brian Bishop]

How does she even know?

[Adam Carolla]

And what is. I mean, the guy was fucking around, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, who. I mean, who knows what's really true here? But some of the witnesses told ABC honchos and given the network's zero tolerance policy on sexual harassment and by the.

[Adam Carolla]

Way, you say honchos, you're talking about post menopausal chicks without a funny bone in their body.

[Allison Rosen]

Haunches. The ABC haunches. The guy was immediately banned from the set and subsequently fired. Evidently, Minka did not want the guy to get fired and had nothing to do with the decision. She was friendly with the man and upset that he lost his job after he moved his family to town for the job. But ABC says this was not an isolated incident. The guy had done it before. Two other ways. Women. Is butt slapping ever appropriate?

[Adam Carolla]

I. You know, I thought that.

[Brian Bishop]

Third, chase coaches.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. That's all you do. You're like a car in the spokes of life. Listen, chicks who walk by construction sites and don't get whistled at anymore, I think they're bummed out a little bit. I can't speak for all the broads, but. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

You can speak for some of them.

[Adam Carolla]

I happen to know that chicks probably like that more than they dislike it. There's probably a larger group of chicks that like a little whistle now they don't want.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't mind a little attention on the street. I don't like when someone drives by and does that thing where they make the V with their fingers on their mouth and then they stick their tongue through it. That I find. A lot of guys do that. A lot of guys. And some women. Oh, yeah. Have you never seen that?

[Adam Carolla]

No. Yeah. Stand next to Jesus.

[Allison Rosen]

Have you never done that?

[Adam Carolla]

It's the lesbian cousin of the index finger through the, you know, hole that you make with the other hand, you know?

[Allison Rosen]

No. Guys do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but they want to see you do it, too.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, is that what they're suggesting? I thought they were just offering it up.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, the point is this. We have a blowjob symbol, do we not? That's your own tongue and your own cheek with you putting a fake cock in the side of your mouth. All right, now, obviously, if we're gonna have a blowjob, one, we're gonna need a pussy eating thing. We have fucking and blowjob. Obviously, we need a pussy eating thing.

[Brian Bishop]

You just gotta grimace and act like you don't want to be there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, that actually brings me to an email that I wanted to read. It's an email about my vagina. Alison, please, for. And it has to do with you, Adam. Allison, please, for all this. Holy. Stop, Adam, from saying A's V in reference to your vagina. It's awkward and does not roll off the tongue the way it did. In reference to Teresa's vagina. I enjoy the wordplay gag, but A's V hurts my ears. Might I suggest A's vage? It flows a bit better. And we'll give you a chance to differentiate gags about your vagina from those pertaining to Teresa's.

[Adam Carolla]

How about you leave the joking to Adam?

[Allison Rosen]

I'll continue listening regardless.

[Adam Carolla]

Azva J sounds like an Indian actor.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it does.

[Adam Carolla]

Have you worked with Azva J?

[Allison Rosen]

No, but he did an arc on that new show.

[Adam Carolla]

He did an arc on Lost.

[Allison Rosen]

I confuse him with Aziz Ansari.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's almost the same guy. Almost the same dude. All right, you ready to take a little quick break?

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Alison Rosen. Zip it, cunt.

[Mike Lynch]

That was the news with Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah. Encore. Encore Insurance Services llc. When I get some. Want to get a quote free. Free life insurance quote. Call today, 866-347-5748. Look, things are topsy turvy world out there. You want to take care of your family, you got to get some life insurance. Think about getting insurance. Or maybe you already have coverage, but you're paying too much. Call Encore. Check them out. Or you can check them out online. Smartterm.com, smartterm.com they compare the premiums of highly rated insurers they represent. And what they do is they find the best price and the best fit for you. Let them do the work for you. That's what I like. Give them a call, 866-347-5748. Licensing and Disclaimer information can be found on their [e-mail] that is smartterm.com and listen, I don't want to put any bad mojo on you, but if you're thinking about life insurance and you don't, you don't get life insurance.

[Allison Rosen]

You could get your head stuck in a bread bowl.

[Adam Carolla]

You have upped the chances of a safe landing on you while you're walking down the sidewalk by at least 20 fold. You know what I mean? Squeeze the trigger before the assassin does.

[Allison Rosen]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Quick break. Hello, Mr. Carolla.

[Caller]

My name is Josh. I am from Pittsburgh. I wanted to let you know that.

[Adam Carolla]

The game that all the people play.

[Caller]

Where you put your hands down and the other person claps their hands and so on, is called Hot Hands. It has a name.

[Adam Carolla]

Hot Hands.

[Dustin]

Thank you.

[Mike Lynch]

Leave us a message at 888-634-1744 and click the banner on AdamCorola.com or go to Evoys.com Adam for a free six month trial.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I was asking that game where you put your hands down and no kid is going to play this game ever again because now we all are. They're all playing Angry Birds, right? But you just set those. You had to do things for road trips, you know. Now everyone's just staring at the back of the headrest and they're looking at something in high definition.

[Allison Rosen]

You had to look at license plate.

[Adam Carolla]

Movie, punch each other out of town play. Yeah. And yeah, that Hot Hands. And I didn't know what it was called but no one else did either. Oh, by the way, Jane Goodall is joining us. It's bizarre. Somebody said who's on the show tonight? And you know, I thought I was gonna say Dana Gould or Harlan Williams. Like Jane Goodall.

[Allison Rosen]

They're like, huh, yeah, yeah, you're highfalutin now.

[Adam Carolla]

Jane, are you there?

[Dustin]

I am here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, great to speak to you. I'm a big fan.

[Dustin]

Well, it's lovely speaking to you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Now by the way, the event is this Tuesday, September 27th at 8pm Guests include Dave Matthews, Angelina Jolie, Charlize Theron, that is our own Dawson is going to be announcing the event that you'll be at. It'll be live. It'll be broadcast to 500 movie theaters across the country. Jane, could you tell us a little about the event and how it works?

[Dustin]

Well, I mean it's pretty amazing really, isn't it? 5,000, I mean 500 cinemas across the country is something that hasn't happened to me before. The event is a half hour live gathering of interesting people and surprises in a studio in Los Angeles which is prior to showing the film Jane's Journey, which is something I very, very deeply involved in having been part of it for the past, well, three and a half years.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, we'll talk about that film in a second. I'd just like to know how you got started. I'm reading here that at age 26 you went to the African jungle with your mom and you just lived amongst the wild chimpanzees. But was your mom, was that what she did? Did she study chimpanzees and brought you along or she just bad marriage?

[Dustin]

No, it was neither. The point is that from a very, very, very young age I loved animals, was interested in animals, read about animals, read about Dr. Dolittle, read the books about Tarzan of the Apes. Remember 77. I'm going back now to a time when TV wasn't invented.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Dustin]

So books, so reading about Tarzan of the apes falling in love with him. Frightfully jealous when he married that other stupid wimpy Jane.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

And.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

And so deciding, though, that I would grow up, go to Africa, live with animals and write books about them, only my mother supported me. It was a crazy idea. World War II was raging and, you know, we didn't have any money in my family. And Africa was the dark continent. And I was a girl, for heaven's sake.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

So, of course, people laughed at me, but not my mother. If you really want something, you work hard. You never give up. You find a way.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe she just wanted to get you out of the house, though. You know, this is all part of a ploy just to clear you out. It was this or boarding school.

[Dustin]

You cannot imagine how wrong you are.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, now.

[Dustin]

So you were a very, very close family. I think she and her mother would have liked me and my sister to be in the nest forever. At the same time, she encouraged me to go off to Africa. But when I first raised the money, I saved up the money. I worked as a waitress. I got out to Africa. I met the famous paleontologist Louis Leakey.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Dustin]

Amazingly, he offered me the opportunity to come and study chimpanzees. I had no degree. First of all, it was tough to get money. He got money for six months. Secondly, the authorities of what was then British. British. Tanganyika, Tanzania. Now, in those days, it was part of the British colonial empire. A young girl out in the forest with potentially dangerous animals by herself. Impossible, right? But eventually they said, all right, if she brings a companion, we'll allow her to go. So who volunteered?

[Adam Carolla]

Charlize Theron.

[Dustin]

Same amazing mother. Nothing to do with Charlie. She wasn't even born.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sorry, wrong math. I was picturing the two of you out in the jungle. So mom volunteered to come out?

[Dustin]

Yes. And she was amazing. She set up a little. Little clinic for the local people with things like aspirin and band aids. And she boosted my morale because the chimps all ran away in those early days. You know, they'd never seen a white ape before. And I'd get back in the evening all depressed and she'd say, but, Jane, think what you are learning. And, you know, she'd list out all the things I actually was.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, man, I hate my mom even more now. I couldn't get my mom to pick me up at a movie theater in Van Nuys much less come out to Africa and bivouac with me in a tent. Your mom was a saint.

[Dustin]

She was fabulous. And she had fun.

[Adam Carolla]

And so now do you feel that you put a certain part of your life on hold, a social part of your life on hold? Were you able to marry or have children or lead a life that was a more traditional life, or did you put that on hold?

[Dustin]

I lived my dream. I married actually, twice. I had a son. I have three grandchildren. I maintained a close relationship with my family in England, my mother and the rest of the family. And I've always been fortunate in that I love being around people, but I also love, perhaps even more being on my own out in the forest.

[Adam Carolla]

When did this tragedy with Dian Fossey go down where she was killed by, I guess by poachers?

[Dustin]

She was, yeah. We don't quite know why she was killed, I suspect by poachers, but, you know, she didn't work with the local people the way I have. I included them in the research help to find out about the chimpanzees. They are brilliant at following them in the forest. They know them individually. Diane wouldn't let the local people go near the gorillas because she said that would mean the gorillas were more vulnerable to poachers. I said, but the chimps know whether it's our people or a stranger, and if it's a stranger, they hide, and if it's our star, they don't care. So surely your gorillas are just as intelligent.

[Adam Carolla]

At the time when this happened, though, did it scare you? And did your mom say, hey, man, we need to pack up the tent and head back to jolly old England?

[Dustin]

I mean, this is long after, you know, I'd been in Gombe for a long time then. And my poor mother, though, because people called her up and said, we hear Jane's been killed.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Dustin]

That was the worst part for her. Did it scare me? No, because I had wonderful relationships with the local people. And in fact, we have pioneered at the Jane Goodall Institute a program to improve the lives of the people living in poverty around the wilderness area, making them our partners in conservation because, you know, we've helped them to find ways of living without destroying the forest and help them to understand. Understand that by saving the forest, they are protecting the future for their own children.

[Adam Carolla]

Do we have you a couple of questions. What would be the most surprising thing most laypeople don't know about chimps?

[Dustin]

Well, I think most people, you know, most people think of chimps as those cute little furry beings that you see in entertainment and advertising.

[Adam Carolla]

We did until that chick went on Oprah without a face. And then we we thought otherwise.

[Dustin]

That. That helps you to think otherwise. So people are beginning. But, you know, not everybody knows that people don't realize how close they are to us.

[Adam Carolla]

And.

[Dustin]

And people don't realize they can learn 400 or more signs of the American Sign Language as used by deaf people.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Dustin]

People don't realize, you know, how close they are to us.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, do you have. I have a question about danger and close calls, but I'll put that on the shelf for a second. Allison, you remind me to bring that up.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you see? And maybe this is the kind of thing you'd be against, but as far as chimps and what they can do for males, you said, you know, learning sign language, for instance, we have. We use animals that aid human beings. Blind people, deaf people, you know, things like that. Do you see any kind of role like that for chimps, or would you not want them to fill that role?

[Dustin]

No, they're not suitable. I mean, the ones. The animals that help people the most are those that have been domesticated for thousands of years. Dogs and people go together. Dogs love to work with people. You know, for me, people think my favorite animal is going to be a chimpanzee. But actually, chimps are so like people that I don't think of them as animals any more than I think of people as animals, although we are.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dustin]

But my favorite animal is a dog, and I've always loved dogs and dogs. That animals have personalities and minds and feelings, which when I first went to Cambridge University, I was told wasn't true. But I knew it was true because of my childhood teacher, my dog Rusty.

[Adam Carolla]

What's been your sort of closest call with chimps or humans or beyond jaguars being where, you know, we don't have jaguars in Africa.

[Dustin]

We have leopards and lions.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, pardon me. Look, what's the big difference between a leopard and a jag anyway? Really? Yeah, they look almost the same. No, no, Jags are in South America or Central America. Central America. All right. Figure that out. I just have the cars.

[Dustin]

It doesn't matter. And you come up north in America and you get pumas or cougars or.

[Adam Carolla]

Mountain lions or whatever.

[Dustin]

Anyway, my post is called, you know, with the Chimps. We have one chimpanzee called Frodo who's in this movie Jane's Journey. And he's very big and he's a bully, and he likes to intimidate not only chimpanzees, but people, too. And he is very intimidating. And he likes to push you over, drag you and stamp on you and as he's like 10 times stronger than me, this is not a very pleasant experience.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Dustin]

He is not trying to really harm or hurt. Not like that sad thing that you mentioned earlier when the woman lost her face. This is just, you know, trying to show me who's boss, which is totally unnecessary because I know it.

[Adam Carolla]

Does he? Well, yeah, but you can't explain that to him when he's dragging you and stomping you. Would he be the alpha male of the group?

[Dustin]

He was for a while. He's not anymore. He still even more perhaps likes to stomp around on people who are subordinate to him.

[Adam Carolla]

And as far as the personality range, do they seem to vary just as much as human beings do?

[Dustin]

Yeah, yeah they do. You get nice gentle ones, you get generous ones, you get relaxed ones, you get playful ones, crusty ones. Just the same, same range.

[Adam Carolla]

And in the family unit, what is their family unit like? I mean, you have a mom and you have a dad and you have the offspring.

[Dustin]

Not like that.

[Adam Carolla]

You have a community about 50, like Hillary Clinton. They all are raised by a village. What do they call it?

[Dustin]

You have a community of 50. You have a group of males who are very well bonded with each other and they patrol the boundaries and protect the resources from neighbors looking out for jaguars. They actually move out in an aggressive way to enlarge their territory and attack their neighbors. Which kind of sounds familiar, doesn't it?

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Dustin]

And then within the community there are mothers and their families sometimes getting together and traveling together, sometimes in big groups. But there are no lasting bonds between non related adult males and females.

[Adam Carolla]

Gotta bring my wife out to that movie. Explain to her how things work in the real world.

[Dustin]

Well, yeah, you have females who are sexually receptive, mated by most or even all of the adult males. Some are more sexual, extremely appealing than others.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Do they have they got good looking chimps and ugly chimps in your experience?

[Dustin]

Well, the ones that look beautiful to me are not necessarily perceived in the same way by other chimpanzees. So probably our most. Well, I hate to call her ugly. She certainly wasn't beautiful. And yet she was the most sexual popular female that we've ever known.

[Adam Carolla]

Like high school Allison.

[Dustin]

She had what we used to call it.

[Adam Carolla]

Aha.

[Allison Rosen]

And what was it?

[Dustin]

Well, she was, she wasn't afraid of the males when they quartered her. And actually she quite sorted. She was willing and seemed to have fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Tramp stamps, round heels, the tip of wow.

[Dustin]

Her name was Flo.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, now her name. You named her Flo though, right?

[Dustin]

I named her Flo.

[Adam Carolla]

You named how many?

[Allison Rosen]

She called herself Sally.

[Adam Carolla]

How many? Yeah. What was her porn name? That's the real question.

[Dustin]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

I said, what was her porn name? It's it, it, it's not, not, not in good taste. Jane. No, they were all good names, all good names.

[Dustin]

How many have we named over the years? Probably close to 200. That includes little ones that didn't live very long.

[Adam Carolla]

What is the life expectancy of a chimp?

[Dustin]

Chimps in the wild, probably not too many live more than 50 in captivity, quite a number live over 60.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you feel like they should be in captivity or are you against?

[Dustin]

Well, they shouldn't be, but you know they are. And if you actually think from a chimps point of view, freedom in the forest of Africa sounds wonderful, but unless you're in a protected area like Gombe, you're in a situation where tragically forests are disappearing, human populations are growing, logging companies are moving in, chimpanzees are hunted for food or for the live animal trade. So unless you're protected, it's not such a rosy situation. And then in captivity you've got the medical research labs, five foot by five foot cages, which is unspeakable. Sure, you have the bad zoos, the roadside zoos, the horrible training for circus, the unfortunate situation of captive chimps. And then you get the really good zoos which have money. The chimps there have an enriched environment, a good social group, caring keepers and an adoring public so they don't do too badly.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to be at a good zoo. Like if you're at a zoo where they're spray painting a donkey to look like a zebra. No, that is not a shit zoo. That's not a good zoo. Well, the movie is going to be shown in 500 movie theaters across the country. It is this Tuesday, September 27th, 8pm Guests include Dave Matthews, Angelina Jolie. Must be nice. You get to be the darling of all those cool people because you get to be the coolest of all the celebrities because you're out living it.

[Dustin]

Well, you know, the thing is about the celebrities that there are millions of people, for example, who are Dave Matthews fans. They haven't heard of Jane Goodall, but if they hear Dave Matthews is going to be, you know, with Jane Goodall, maybe they'll have a look and decide to go to the film. And then hopefully they learn a whole new way of thinking about the world. They learn a little bit about more than they know about what damage we're doing to the planet. And hopefully they decide they'll join us and try to make a difference.

[Adam Carolla]

Charlize Theron will be there. That'll be worth it for a watch, too. And our own Dawson is going to be the announcer. The website for tickets is fathomevents.com f a t h o m events.com Jane, this has been a thrill. Next time I'm in Africa, swing by the tent, say hi, ride a Jaguar.

[Dustin]

Okay. Well, you probably won't find me there. I'm 300 days a year on the road. But you'll be welcome anyway by our wonderful team.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks, Jane Goodall, everybody. Doing the Lord's work. Imagine. Mom. Hey, Mom, I'm a good looking blonde. I want to go hang out in Africa for a while.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, I'll go with you.

[Adam Carolla]

Would you like some tea first? Shall I go? Yeah, Mom, I can't. They won't let me hang here alone. Can you leave England and come on out? Hang here in Africa. Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

When are we leaving? Let me grab my rucksack.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I asked my mom to get down a fucking shoebox with a couple pictures and, ah, the humanity.

[Brian Bishop]

Maybe the key is aiming higher. And then she would have done more things for like, mom, we'll go to Africa with Jane Goodall and the chimps. You're like, I don't think so. How about a ride to the movie theater? Oh, sure. That's easy. I'll do that.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I should have done. Yeah. When any of those pictures from the shoebox up in her closet. I should have started off with mom of I need. I'm having a barn raising over at the house and I need you to come on by. Oh, bad back. All right, I'll tell you what I need some pictures in a shoebox. Yeah, you should start every favor, whether it's helping to move or pictures in a shoebox with, I'm doing a barn raising. And then work your way down to. All right, I just need a ride. Are you gonna help me move a sofa on Saturday? That'd be cool.

[Allison Rosen]

Evidently. When my dad was dating my mom, he said, how would you feel if I told. Told you I had five kids? And then I don't know what she said. And he's like, I don't. I just have two. Because he has. I have older half brothers. So he started high.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he's.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And then whittled down.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I thought he was gonna do one of those things where a 55 Corvette was one of his kids.

[Allison Rosen]

No, but that would have been good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So your. Your dad had two kids?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And he started with five.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. He's like, how would you feel if I said I had five kids? I had two.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. I like that. But you weren't one of.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I wasn't born yet, so that. That world doesn't exist to me.

[Adam Carolla]

But then she wanted one of her own, and that's where you come in. Right?

[Allison Rosen]

Two of her own. And that's where my sister and I come in.

[Adam Carolla]

She didn't want your sister. That was a mistake.

[Allison Rosen]

She would never say that.

[Adam Carolla]

But, yeah, pretty much.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. I was like the golden.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, should we. Should we mop up with a little news? By the way?

[Mike Lynch]

Live from the International News center next to Donny's mini bikes, this is the news with Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

Universal CityWalk, by the way, tonight with Doug Benson out on stage. Ontario Improv David Koechner and Dana Gould coming up this coming Tuesday as well. Tabernacle in Atlanta, doing the standup on the 30th of September, and Ferguson Hall, Tampa Bay on the 31st. All right, now you know what it.

[Allison Rosen]

Means if Doug Benson's gonna be there. It means I'm gonna get my ass kicked in that TiVo game.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And a good contact high.

[Allison Rosen]

The Charlie Sheen roast was the highest rated roast ever for Comedy Central. 6.4 million people watched it as Comedy Central's number one telecast for viewers aged 18 to 49. Meanwhile, so it was a big night for Charlie Sheen. He was not in the season premiere of Two and a Half Men, however, it was all about his character's death. And that got 27.8 million viewers, which is like, more than anything in the whole world. To put that number in context, that single episode was seen by more people than any game of last year's world, last year's World Series, more than the college basketball finals, and more than the title game in the National Basketball association finals. It was the most watched episode of any comedy on television since the final episode of Everybody loves Raymond in 2005. It was also the most watched episode of Two and a Half Men ever.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, anyway, as I've said, it's. It's just. It's just great to see that Kutcher kid catch a break for a change. You know, for all he's been through, all the loves and loss.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, it's just great to know that those don't matter.

[Adam Carolla]

Nah. Landed on his feet. It's awesome. Yeah, I watched it.

[Allison Rosen]

The roast or the 2? 2 and a half Men?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Jeff Ross said, well, the two and A Half Men is on before the roast, and then it leads right into the roast. Like, it's perfect. It's a perfect lead in. It's not on the same channel, obviously, but you can watch Two and a Half Men and then go, oh, fuck, I'm gonna watch the roast.

[Allison Rosen]

Right. So what do you think?

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it's a. Sitcoms are like diner food. There's better diner food and then there's kind of greasy, shitty diner food. There's sort of bad, you know, Truck Stop or bad Denny's diner food food. And then there's better breakfast joint diner food.

[Allison Rosen]

It's still like, there's norms or there's Mimi's cafe, right?

[Adam Carolla]

And it's still eggs and it's still hash browns and it's still toast, and it's still the same fare. It's just a little bit better. And sitcoms are the same, you know, four cameras and a laugh track and the same jokes and the entrance and, you know, they're all the same. And, you know, the single cameras vary a little bit, but. But the four camera, meaning the in front of a live studio audience variety, they're always the same. Some are just a little bit better than the other, but they're the same. Nothing different.

[Allison Rosen]

Diner of Assad Quilada, same age. He did Facts of Life.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. So. Oh, I thought that was something that was served up at the diner. Is that the one that has the spinach and then the hollandaise sauce?

[Allison Rosen]

He also start opposite Aziz Ansari and is vajay.

[Adam Carolla]

The point is this. It's fine. It's just jokes, you know, it's joke, joke, joke.

[Allison Rosen]

Weren't you happy that they decided to keep the beach house with the astragal.

[Adam Carolla]

Telephone or flat astragal on those French doors? Or as I call them, what Freedom.

[Allison Rosen]

Doors, taste and flat astragal.

[Adam Carolla]

What are you laughing at, Brian?

[Brian Bishop]

I like the way you expected us.

[Adam Carolla]

To know that because I'm more American than you.

[Allison Rosen]

Don't you think? T astragal and flat astragal sound like things that people would do in a porn. Like, oh, does she do a flat astral? Yeah, she does.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, listen, I thought Jane Goodall's movie sounded like a porn movie too. I just didn't want to screw with her.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I know.

[Brian Bishop]

Felt like the roast was the most publicized roast maybe ever. I saw the most ads for it. Maybe that's why.

[Allison Rosen]

More than you've seen for Whitney.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no.

[Allison Rosen]

Now, is that just happening in la?

[Adam Carolla]

I closed my eyelids and they Put them. They pasted them. The inside of my eyelids, right? Yes, right.

[Allison Rosen]

On this one it says half of all marriages end. And then on your right eyelid it says, in sweatpants.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes. Now, is that happening everywhere or just in la?

[Adam Carolla]

You do have to think about that because you're like, wow, I just passed this place. I passed five of these things from Burbank driving over here to Glendale, and then I passed 10 more. And then I do always have that thought with movies, especially shitty movies and sitcoms too, where you go, wow, my passion. They've papered Hollywood with this. And then you go, wait a minute, it's got to be Orange County. Wait a minute, it's got to be Nevada. Hold on. It's got to be Nebraska.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. If you drive to Las Vegas. Are they plastered on cactuses? Cacti. Where would they put them?

[Adam Carolla]

I have no idea. All I know is she's skinny and she's reasonably funny, and doggone it, we're going to ride this fucking mule to the bank.

[Allison Rosen]

What did you think of the roast?

[Adam Carolla]

Standard roast seemed good. I watched about 40 minutes of it. Jeff was good, everyone was good. And like I said, they now just keep it to whatever length. Back when I did it would do them. There were 20 minutes of freeform, whatever, and they would chop them all up. And by the way, poor Tommy Davidson got completely chopped out of the Hefner roast I was in. And I. I had to ride home on the plane with him, thankfully, before we knew it. You want to talk about.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I don't even know who that is.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you want to know why you don't know who it is?

[Allison Rosen]

Because he got cut out of the rows.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. First off, I got two words for you. Pazone. Wait, maybe one more. One weird word.

[Brian Bishop]

One apostrophe word.

[Adam Carolla]

Puzone. Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

Cross between a piano and a calzone.

[Adam Carolla]

Tommy Davidson, I got one word for you. You in living color.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, keep going.

[Adam Carolla]

Pizzone. In color.

[Allison Rosen]

Was he in a pazone commercial?

[Adam Carolla]

I think he was the inventor of the pazone. You kidding?

[Brian Bishop]

Doesn't need to work another day in his life.

[Adam Carolla]

He used to do the pizone thing and then he. I think he was in living color. He was in that group and he was a stand up comedian and he was kind of well known and.

[Brian Bishop]

And original cast member.

[Adam Carolla]

He did the Hefner roast and he was pretty bad and they cut him out wholesale. Normally, if you get up there and you do 10 minutes and not all of it's great, they chop it down to two minutes. But you're in the roast. That can't be what you call a confidence builder. No, you've been completely cut out like a cancer from the roast.

[Allison Rosen]

Roasted you.

[Adam Carolla]

It's also gotta be weird, too, when you're telling people the week before, no, I gotta fly out to New York. I got to do the Hefner roast. Yeah, Kimmel was there and Carolla was there, and this guy was there, and that guy was there, and Gilbert Gottfried, blah, blah, blah. And then a week later, one of your friends calls you and said, didn't you do that Hefner roast?

[Allison Rosen]

That's why you think you never tell your friends anything.

[Brian Bishop]

Do they do the same thing with roast appearances as they do with, like, you mentioned, when publicists do the Tonight show thing? You better book my client or else you won't get my A list client. I'm trying to explain why Tommy Davidson was cut out of one, but Jeff Garland's entire shtick was left in one when that probably should never have seen the light of day.

[Allison Rosen]

Like, was he a barnacle on someone else's ass?

[Adam Carolla]

Was Jeff Garland not funny?

[Brian Bishop]

He did a sht where he pretended to be someone's agent and he did the entire thing in character.

[Adam Carolla]

That and not funny sounds hilarious. That's not Jeff Garland. I know. No, that was another one of those things where when we would do Crank Yanker on rare occasion, somebody wouldn't get a call on. Like, you'd go sit with them for six hours in Vegas in a recording room, and then you'd get back, and then like four months later, they'd go, hey, how'd my calls work out? And you'd be like, I saw Jeff Garland when I was in. Jimmy and I were in New York many years ago, like 12, 13 years ago. We went to go hang out with Jon Stewart and we went to Caroline's to see Jon Stewart perform. And Jeff Garland opened for Jon Stewart and he pulled up a stool and he told like a 20 minute story about, you know, Reese's Pieces or something. And at some point, Jimmy and I looked at each other. We didn't know that much about the business. I had never. I'd never seen Jeff Garland in my life. I had no idea who he was, but I was like, this guy must be. He must be Jon Stewart's cousin or a family member or. I'm not familiar enough with the stand up scene. I don't know how this works. I'm not sure. Look at my twins in that picture, by the way.

[Allison Rosen]

Look at them. They're so fucking cute. I don't think I've ever seen photos of them when they were little like that. Maybe I have, but they're really cute there.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not gonna eat those two shits. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

In a bread bowl. A bread bassinet.

[Adam Carolla]

Bread bassinet. One of the greatest 80s songs ever, Brett. Bassinet Power ballad. Yeah. German band.

[Shaggy 2 Dope]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

I was sitting there saying to Jimmy, what is this guy doing? Like, who is this guy? Like, I don't get it. I don't. Isn't he supposed to tell jokes? He's just hanging out. And I just assumed he was a friend of Jon Stewart or a family member of Jon Stewart who was hanging out. Like, I didn't get that he was a comedian at all. I had no idea it was opening for John Star. That wasn't enough. And he's a fine actor. He's always nice to me, but not funny.

[Allison Rosen]

Really?

[Mike Lynch]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I've not seen.

[Allison Rosen]

Please don't tell anyone.

[Adam Carolla]

I've not seen evidence of it.

[Brian Bishop]

But he's a good actor, though. Fine actor.

[Adam Carolla]

Fine actor. Makes a lot of money.

[Allison Rosen]

Did he have a good stand up career?

[Adam Carolla]

Not from where I was sitting, no. But it was. I was confused more than anything. I didn't know what was going on. I mean, don't get me wrong, I just stand around, tell stories too. I'm not hilarious either. But stories have a beginning at an end.

[Brian Bishop]

Back to my question. Do you think that publicist is a thing where you want Pam Anderson to come to this roast? You better put hilarious roast for Pam Anderson or whoever. Some a list star. Someone who's gonna Kate Walter eyeballs.

[Adam Carolla]

I really don't know how these things work. I know they have a few people that they go to. I know Comedy Central wants to promote their people because they want you to then watch their people on their network after the roast or the following week or whatever it is. So Comedy Central oftentimes has a vested interest on what personalities they put right.

[Allison Rosen]

Like they're developing a show with Anthony Jeselnik and he was on.

[Adam Carolla]

There they are. Well, there you go. So they'll go put him on because it's not like America's. Like, it's not like people are out front chanting Jeselnik or, you know, it's not America's clamoring for more Jeselnek, but they have a vested interest.

[Allison Rosen]

Or maybe they got to know him through the roasts. I don't know because he's done the roasts before. But still there's that relationship.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Greg Giraldo is missed, that's for damn sure. But good times. I watched my first episode. I. I busted my Chariot of Two and a Half Men. I watched the whole thing and.

[Allison Rosen]

Will you be tuning in next week?

[Adam Carolla]

No, because it's a four camera sitcom and who gives a shit? They just tell jokes, you know, and again, some better than others, but it's just jokes.

[Allison Rosen]

Did you watch 2 Broke Girls? But you didn't.

[Adam Carolla]

I did.

[Allison Rosen]

Did you like it?

[Adam Carolla]

It's just a sick. It's the same thing. You got the one chick who's the deb and she's from, you know, midtown. She's Blair and then you have Joe.

[Allison Rosen]

I like it.

[Adam Carolla]

She works hard for a living, you know, and the other one, it's, you know, oh, what if we took Paris Hilton and put her together with some tough country chick? Who really knew? Except for the country chick's hotter than she is. It's just she's a brunette, so she can't be. And it's all gonna be jokes about how she doesn't understand how things work for poor people. And it's all good stuff, you know.

[Allison Rosen]

You don't see enough of anymore. People who are frumpy and wear glasses and then they take their glasses off and let their hair down and then they're hot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Although I'm about to do it.

[Allison Rosen]

Are you?

[Adam Carolla]

Coincidentally, yeah. This is also going to be one of those sitcoms that somebody in two years mentions and you go, oh yeah, I remember those billboards.

[Allison Rosen]

Right. I was going to say like Blossom, except Blossom was around forever. So not like Blossom, but what's six doing these days? Sometimes I stay up at night wondering. On Wednesday, a Wisconsin judge sentenced Luciana Rischel to 30 months probation and 90 days in prison for dripping Visine solution into her dorm mates water bottle on several occasions. Rischel, a student at Fox Valley Technical College, shared a dorm room on the University of Wisconsin campus during October of 2010 with her soon to be prank victim, Brianna. At the time, Cherrapatta's doctor was unable to diagnose her nausea, diarrhea, loss of appetite and fatigue.

[Adam Carolla]

So she lost a couple pounds.

[Brian Bishop]

It's quite a prank.

[Allison Rosen]

She could. Yeah, I know, it's hilarious.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was like wedding crashers. Put a couple drops in there.

[Allison Rosen]

Exactly. And that's what inspired this prank. The judge said, this may seem harsh, but what you did was very serious. And you need to understand they're very serious. Serious consequences for your behavior. And you can't just slide by on this when police confronted Rachel about her actions, she confessed, explaining that she got the idea from the 2005 comedy Wedding Crashers.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, how did the police confront her? Like, did somebody go, you know what?

[Dustin]

You shut your mouth when you're talking to me.

[Adam Carolla]

I smell a stinky Visine dropper. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, her eyes are so clear.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But she's got jaundice. Bloodshot soul.

[Allison Rosen]

Evidently, she had bragged to someone they went to school with. And that person.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So you put the drops in there and you get the diarrhea, I guess.

[Allison Rosen]

I've never done this nor had it done to me, and I don't want it done to me.

[Adam Carolla]

I get it. And the thing about movies that always kind of fucks this up is they do it in real time. Like, they put the drops in there, and then the person takes a sip and then sets it down. And then you hear the. And then a second later, you see their face look worried. And then they shit themselves.

[Allison Rosen]

Man, I love diarrhea. Movies.

[Adam Carolla]

Stuff kicks in. Usually. Usually some hours later. Now, I don't know how it works with Visine. Like with food poisoning. It's hours and hours after you eat said soft shell crab. Or we were talking earlier about clam chowder. The bad clams I ate at the man show. That all kicked in after the bachelor party, by the way.

[Brian Bishop]

At what point does a prank stop being a prank and become like assault on someone. Gastrointestinal system.

[Allison Rosen]

I'd say Visine in the water bottle. Repeatedly. No, it's not funny at all.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I think you have to sort of dislike your roommate. You know, Jimmy put shaving cream in my toothpaste thing, and I used it for like a week. Here's how you know I'm a bad.

[Allison Rosen]

How did it take a week for you to realize something bad?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm a bad guy to play pranks on because eventually they have to come up to me and go, hey, idiot, does your toothpaste taste like shit or not? Yeah, it kind of does. You want to know why it tastes like shit? Yeah. Because we fucking shove shaving cream up into it. You've been brushing your teeth with shaving cream? Oh, yeah. Seemed weird.

[Allison Rosen]

But anyway, that would not be fulfilling for the prankster.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I've also brushed my teeth with Vagisil, but that was unintentional.

[Allison Rosen]

Which was worse or better?

[Brian Bishop]

Brush your teeth with Vagicel. Sounds like a euphemism for going down.

[Allison Rosen]

It really does. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Let me tell you.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you ever brush your teeth with Massingil?

[Adam Carolla]

When I'm done with this broad, I'll be brushing my teeth with Vagisil. You could floss with a tampon whiner diner 69er. And then it's right down to Vagisil City.

[Allison Rosen]

See that? This is when you make that gesture with the V in the tongue, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Allison Rosen]

Now here's the kicker, though. The judge ruled that Richel, a nursing student with no previous criminal record, not pursue a job in health care while on probation. Probably this is the kind of person who is going into medicine.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, let me say something about pranks. Most all the pranks I've been involved with on the winning end and on the losing end sound pretty bad. But when you kind of just get down into them, they all seem like a good idea at the time.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, that's your defense. They seemed a good idea at the time.

[Adam Carolla]

We've done pranks on our friends that involved that were just basically assault. I mean, it wasn't even a prank.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm gonna need to hear an example.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, we just physically assaulted people. I mean, we've taken guys that we've known in the middle of the football field, tackled them, tore them down, tore their underpants off. You know, it was a vicious attack. And so that they were standing naked in the middle of our high school football field and had to start running for a trash can later. So that was funny. Now, when that comes out in court transcripts, it's gonna sound like a violent and vicious assault.

[Allison Rosen]

And when it comes out on a podcast, it sounds like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Huh?

[Allison Rosen]

It does sound like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's the kind of stuff. Look, you're talking to guys that, you know, fecal matter shoved into his ear.

[Allison Rosen]

That's funny.

[Adam Carolla]

And a lot of things we've done have been, you know, I mean, Ray threw a knife at me, and it stuck into my knee.

[Allison Rosen]

Not funny.

[Adam Carolla]

He took an entire sack of gold metal flour and threw it into my industrial that was in my room in my dad's house. And you couldn't see your hand in front of your face.

[Allison Rosen]

Like a snowstorm.

[Adam Carolla]

He took a huge shit on the carpet right in front of the door in my room. So my dad opened the door. He just saw Monrae's shit.

[Allison Rosen]

I want to say, not funny, but I'm laughing.

[Adam Carolla]

I had guys just get together and stand over my bed and just pee on it. Like they were just emptying themselves, you know, like they're standing at Dodger Stadium pissing it into a trough.

[Allison Rosen]

Apparently, I draw the line at Your end. Not funny.

[Adam Carolla]

I took M80 and I put it in a big lemon and I rolled it into my buddy Carl's apartment and blew it up. And I blew. Carl was an artist, so he had his paintings all over the. All over the apartment. And the pulp blew all over his paintings. And the acid or whatever was in it just fucked up the paintings.

[Allison Rosen]

That makes me kind of sad. Were his paintings good?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he was pretty good artists, so. He was. He was really. He was. He was pretty pissed about that. Ray was. That's Carl in the middle. Ray was lighting.

[Brian Bishop]

Why is Derek Jeter there?

[Adam Carolla]

Ray was lighting a. It's Carl.

[Allison Rosen]

That's you on the left?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's me on the left.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, God.

[Adam Carolla]

I was a big football dude back then.

[Allison Rosen]

Look at the sideburns and mustache and.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's a Halloween. Halloween picture.

[Allison Rosen]

Who were you?

[Adam Carolla]

Who wasn't I. It's a Halloween. I don't know. I was going as like a 70s swinger. I know. It looks so good.

[Allison Rosen]

You were going for the indeterminate costume, but just. It was a costume.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you see, there's a guy dressed like a pilot, a guy dressed like a pirate, and a guy dressed like a Viking. Right. So it wasn't just Saturday night.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I know, I know. But what I'm saying is what was your costume?

[Adam Carolla]

It's a swinging 70s guy, like, you know.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, yeah. Indeterminate costume. Just not yet. Were you called Vic Vegas?

[Adam Carolla]

Is that. I may have been Vic Vegas. Yeah. I was. I was like. I was a swinging lounge act or something. I had tipparillos. And I don't remember where he took that picture, but fully formed character. Oh, yeah. I'd worked it all out. Yeah. Point is this.

[Allison Rosen]

But he's hesitant to see.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, Ray was lighting a cigarette off on the back of Todd's motorcycle, and Todd punched it and Ray fell off, you know, barefoot. You know, it's funny. It all seemed funny at the time. Yeah, we've done a lot of that stuff. Listen, I had a marshmallow fully engulfed in flames. Fully. You know, when you set a marshmallow on fire, it makes a noise, like when it burns. Like it burns like a torch. I had a. Completely. Completely engulfed in flames. Lit it on the burner when we were babysitting, like on a coat hanger. I started doing my fire eating thing and. Oh, it's Adam the great. The great fire eater. I was doing that, you know, the other thing, and Ray was standing next to me and Ray smacked my elbow and a fucking Flaming marshmallow stuck the side of my face.

[Allison Rosen]

Who's watching the kids? He was asleep or was he babysitting you?

[Adam Carolla]

He was asleep. Hey. They used to put him to sleep half time before I got there. So all I did was eat pie filling and, you know, roast marshmallows.

[Allison Rosen]

Wait, did you get a scar or anything from your marshmallow?

[Adam Carolla]

I had blister. Yeah, Blisters on the side of my face. Yeah. When you take a flaming marshmallow and stick it inside of your face, it leaves a mark.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like some of these pranks are more creative than others.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Jimmy's done horrible shit to people.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, sure, you were in a fraternity, Brian. Did you ever do this kind of stuff? Do you swallow goldfish or paddle anyone? Rape anyone?

[Brian Bishop]

We did some psychological torture for sure, but hazing, none of that can be talked about. Nothing physical though? No, nothing on the physical. There's always psychological.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyone who fell asleep, passed out, get duct taped, get cocks drawn on the face with Sharpies. You know, ass and balls on the face, pictures taken. You know, the regular. If you had a camera at a party and you left it around, it would always go into the bathroom. Ray would photograph his balls up close, get it into the mix, and then when you and your mom picked it up from the thrifties two weeks later, because we'd just go to chicks parties, you know, we'd be at someone's party, like a nice party, 21st birthday or something. As soon as the camera got set down, the camera gets snuck into the bathroom. Lots of ball sack shots, and then right back in its place on the counter. And it would be in amongst, you know, be picture 21, 22 and 23, a bit of Ray sack. And then the rest would be back to them enjoying the party with the family.

[Allison Rosen]

There's a certain art to that, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

There is.

[Allison Rosen]

See, one time my friends threw a giant thing of depends into my cart when we were all shopping together. And I walked around not realizing why everyone was laughing for a while. That's like really the most prank I've been a part of or had done to me. I'd like to leave it like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Ours involved fecal matter and fecal matter and assault. And he. I climbed inside a dryer, the coin op laundry mat, and they shut the thing on me.

[Allison Rosen]

What happened to you?

[Adam Carolla]

It's painful.

[Allison Rosen]

Cats have died that way.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not a good thing.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a good thing you didn't do it in a microwave.

[Adam Carolla]

The hot air doesn't feel good.

[Allison Rosen]

So did you twirl around?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. You don't have a choice. It's a good thing they at least.

[Allison Rosen]

Put in fabric softener.

[Adam Carolla]

I got the dryer sheet. I got one fucking sheet of bamboo.

[Allison Rosen]

That's not enough for you?

[Adam Carolla]

No, it was you. Hang on. But the things have these ribs in them, these metal ribs that help throw the clothes around. And they protrude like two, three inches. And you don't really think about that part. About the size. It's bigger than a trash can. It's pretty good size. You get in there, you try to steady yourself, but the hot air and those ribs coming out, and it just starts spraying hot air at you. You feel like it's a shame they.

[Allison Rosen]

Didn'T put on air fluff that you could have withstood.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, listen, I know those balls. Yeah. Whose balls are those?

[Allison Rosen]

That's a Robert Frost poem.

[Adam Carolla]

Find out whose balls are those.

[Allison Rosen]

Whose balls are we looking at? Those.

[Adam Carolla]

Those were the.

[Violent J]

Those.

[Adam Carolla]

That was one of the pictures I inherited when I took over the live show from Donnie. So those are someone's balls, you know. No, I know. I know who's. I know who wanted of those balls are. I know the guy on the left. Balls.

[Brian Bishop]

One pair of balls or one ball?

[Adam Carolla]

Ball. The whole ball. Yeah, Yeah. I don't know who the other balls are.

[Allison Rosen]

Wait, the guy on photo left or the guy that we're. The. The guy with the swatch.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what? I've said enough. All right, let's move forward.

[Allison Rosen]

And the bracelet. The swatch and the jelly bracelet. Whose balls are those?

[Adam Carolla]

I know they're not my balls because whoever. They're both. They're. They're too snappy a dresser for me. I did not. I never wore, like, the vests and things like that. That.

[Giovanni]

All right, that's Adam Cole. Show 659 from 2011 for Jane Goodall. Until next week. Mahalo and get it on.

[Mike Lynch]

Sa.