Jay Leno was Humiliated by Jimmy Kimmel? + Comedian Brad Williams & Political Commentator Elisha Krauss

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show: Episode Summary Release Date: April 30, 2025

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Guests:

• Brad Williams: Stand-up comedian known for his sharp humor and insightful commentary.
• Elisha Krause: Political commentator, speaker, and op-ed writer for the Washington Examiner.
• Jason "Mayhem" Miller: Political commentator and co-host for news and trending topics segments.

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Introduction

Adam Carolla kicks off the episode by welcoming his regular guests, comedian Brad Williams and political correspondent Elisha Krause. They also introduce Jason "Mayhem" Miller, who joins them to discuss the latest news and trending topics. The initial segment includes light banter and sets the stage for deeper discussions ahead.

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Key Discussions

1. Shador Sanders and School Shootings

The conversation delves into the infamous case of Brenda Spencer, the school shooter from 1979, famously associated with the song "I Don't Like Mondays" by Bob Geldof.

• Adam Carolla [05:01]: "She said it's because she doesn't like Mondays."
• Elisha Krause [06:48]: "Wait, she's wearing a Garfield shirt the whole time?"

The group reflects on how historical incidents like Spencer's can still resonate in pop culture and public discourse.

2. The Great Mexican Food Condiment Debate

Adam and Jason engage in a spirited debate about the overuse of sour cream in Mexican cuisine, expressing frustration over its prevalence in dishes like quesadillas and taco salads.

• Adam Carolla [14:34]: "They're putting sour cream on top of their chalupa... It's fucking Mexican food. We don't need to."
• Jason Mayhem Miller [16:35]: "Your quesadilla has been colonized."

They argue that authentic flavors are being overshadowed by undesirable additions, reflecting broader concerns about cultural authenticity in food.

3. Motorcycle Safety and Helmet Visibility

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing motorcycle helmet choices, focusing on safety concerns related to flat black helmets that reduce rider visibility.

• Adam Carolla [04:04]: "Why are you making yourself invisible at night? That helmet is the highest point on that motorcycle."
• Jason Mayhem Miller [33:00]: "I'm team gorilla. A hundred percent no shot."

The guests advocate for brighter, more visible helmets to prevent accidents, emphasizing the importance of safety over aesthetics.

4. Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel's Feud

Elisha Krause addresses the tension between Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel, discussing a past incident where Kimmel humiliated Leno on his show.

• Elisha Krause [74:04]: "Jay Leno says he made a mistake letting Jimmy Kimmel humiliate him on his show."
• Adam Carolla [75:05]: "Jimmy Kimmel made a joke that embarrassed me on my own show. It's my mistake."

They explore the dynamics of late-night television rivalries and the impact of such feuds on personal and professional relationships.

5. Australian Family's Pool Invader

A quirky news segment covers an Australian family's bafflement over a stranger repeatedly sneaking into their swimming pool.

• Brad Williams [70:24]: "He's treating it like it's his own pool, making himself at home in Holly Stevens's backyard."
• Adam Carolla [72:16]: "It's not a real crime issue. And I did it, so I'm fine."

The group humorously debates the invader's motives and compares it to their own past misadventures.

6. The Purses Conundrum

Adam vents about the challenges of dealing with women's purses, highlighting how items stored within can lead to confusion and frustration.

• Adam Carolla [50:30]: "The purse is zipped shut. And I'm not going through anyone's purse. It's a burial ground for tampons and God knows what else."
• Elisha Krause [52:07]: "Yes."

They discuss personal anecdotes where misplaced items in purses caused everyday mishaps, adding a humorous take on common relationship quirks.

7. Evolution of Radio Shows vs. Podcasting

Brad Williams reflects on the decline of traditional radio shows and the rise of podcasting, noting the nostalgic charm of old radio formats.

• Brad Williams [118:39]: "Talk radio has shifted to podcasting. That's why you see such success in podcasting."
• Adam Carolla [122:43]: "There's something about delayed gratification... listening to old radio days has a romantic aspect."

The conversation contrasts the interactive, communal experience of radio with the solitary nature of podcast consumption.

8. Political Commentary: Inside the Democratic Party

Brad shares insights from his op-eds, critiquing both sides of the political spectrum and emphasizing the need for nuanced discussions over partisan grudges.

• Brad Williams [130:25]: "Democrats need to include conservative voices to present viable solutions."
• Adam Carolla [130:04]: "If you've taken allegiance to the Democratic Party, you're going to defend indefensible stuff."

They advocate for balanced representation and pragmatic approaches to policy-making, moving beyond entrenched partisan conflicts.

9. Gallagher Brothers' Comedic Legacy

The hosts reminisce about the late comedian Gallagher, known for his "Sledge-O-Matic" act, and hypothetically discuss a reunion between him and his brother.

• Jason Mayhem Miller [61:07]: "Imagine Gallagher brothers feuding and smashing watermelons together."
• Adam Carolla [65:03]: "Gallagher's legacy is about more than just the fruit-smashing act."

They ponder the challenges of maintaining comedic originality and the potential for memorable collaborations.

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Notable Quotes

• Jason Mayhem Miller [16:35]: "Your quesadilla has been colonized."
• Adam Carolla [14:34]: "They're putting sour cream on top of their chalupa... It's fucking Mexican food. We don't need to."
• Brad Williams [70:24]: "He's treating it like it's his own pool, making himself at home in Holly Stevens's backyard."
• Elisha Krause [130:25]: "Democrats need to include conservative voices to present viable solutions."

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Conclusion

Adam Carolla wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to engage with upcoming shows and stand-up specials. He highlights the importance of open dialogue, humor, and candid discussions on pressing societal issues. The episode concludes with brief sponsor messages and a moving voicemail from a listener, emphasizing the show's blend of humor, personal stories, and thoughtful commentary.

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Sponsors Mentioned:

• McDonald's MCValue
• Audible
• Pfizer
• Simplisafe
• 1-800-Flowers
• O'Reilly Auto Parts
• BetOnline

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This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a rich tapestry of humor, personal anecdotes, and incisive political commentary, making it a must-listen for fans seeking both laughter and thoughtful discussion.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Brad Williams]

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[Adam Carolla]

Wonderyus all right, in this episode, Brad Williams, funny Brad Williams back in studio, always bringing it. Alicia Kraus, who's a commentator and a speaker and writes op EDS for the Washington examiner for a very intelligent woman. It'll be on later as well. We got the news with Mayhem and we'll do all that right after this.

[Dawson]

Adam Caroll is on the road. San Diego, April 11th and 12th at the American Comedy Club, Port Charlotte, Florida, May 2nd and 3rd at Bassani's Italian Steakhouse and Comedy Theater and Melbourne, Florida on May 4th at the Melbourne Auditorium. Get tickets for these shows and a whole lot [e-mail] see what's screaming free all month long during Pluto TV's April ghouls get your heart pounding with nightmare fueling classics like Insidious and Bram Stoker's Dracula. Or test your nerves with haunting hits like Urban Legend and Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. Pluto TV has hundreds of channels and thousands of terrifying movies, live and on demand. Download Pluto Pluto TV on all your favorite devices and start streaming now. From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Brad Williams, plus political correspondent Alicia Krause. And we'll do the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now, in solidarity with the black, now it's affecting Spain and Portugal. He got blackout drunk last night.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam Carolla yeah, get it on. Got to get on the judge. We're gonna manage it. Get it on bad. Brad Williams in studio. Always great to see Brad Going up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Against Jason Mayhem Miller and bad Brad Williams on a pay per view. And, and here's how much I care about this man, okay? Because I just allowed him to do something that I do not allow anyone to do with me, to me, for me, ever.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Ever, Ever.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You. So you got, you got some new chairs since the last time I was in here.

[Adam Carolla]

I get it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Chairs aren't, chairs are a little high. Little high, little high. Still a four foot four man. Drink four for the first time, I referenced my dwarfism. And Jason just comes over and goes, no problem, man. I got you. And he, and he lifts me up and puts me onto the chair. Now, I'm not that guy. I don't get it. If I go to a restaurant, I'm not looking around, walking up to strangers going, boost overhead. Not that guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Overhead compartment, airplane.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Do it myself.

[Adam Carolla]

Do it yourself.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Throw down both armrests, jump on, reach down, grab my bag in one motion up there.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, now look, I like it. I like it. And your dad taught you that darn right can do. But as a dude who's six two, I will help a shorter woman get her stuff just because I have an advantage and I'm there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes. And you're trying to get laid and.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm trying to get a blow job. Is that, is it different?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You can still get the blowjob for me, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I got, I got, I got.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Questions I still put out. It's fine.

[Adam Carolla]

I got an interesting question for you, Brad.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I, I, I have an answer.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not even a question. It's just something that happened. So I had this thought. Okay. Okay. My younger girlfriend was reading a story, Crystal. And she said, oh, she's reading now.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

She's getting so good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she still uses her finger.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

But she's reading now.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, that's fantastic, man. Almost getting too old for you, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Her book popped up and hit her in the eye.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Almost getting so she for you. So I might have to move on, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

It is Leonardo DiCaprio situation, you know? It is. It was a funny story. It's happened to us two times. I was in San Diego doing shows and we're waiting in some diner and there's some like 25 year old hostess chick. And my girlfriend went in first and then I was, she called me. It's like, we're getting our table now. And then I went in and I walked in and the young hostess chick went, oh, we already sat your daughter.

[Alicia Krause]

Nice.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I paused and I went, wait a second. And then I was like, wait a second. And then I realized it's the dude. It's the opposite of saying to a woman, congratulations on your pregnancy. And she's not pregnant.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And she goes, oh, this is the opposite.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The exact opposite.

[Adam Carolla]

The exact opposite. Opposite of getting it wrong. Right. My first impulse was like, wait a minute, sissy. And then my next was like, oh.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Good, I'm doing it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's good. I'm doing it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm living the dream.

[Adam Carolla]

So here's what I want to say to you, okay? She's reading this article and she goes, this woman who shot up a school in. And we'll put the news. We'll put the information on my screen. But she shot up a school. And I would say almost 50 years ago, probably 1975. She's in San Diego right now in a correctional facility. I think she shot up a school. I think she killed 13 kids. Her name is Brenda Spencer. And at probably about 75. And so she's coming up for parole. 50 years. Denied. Denied. And then my girlfriend said. She said it's because she didn't like Mondays.

[Alicia Krause]

Wait, she's wearing a Garfield shirt the whole time?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. I was about to say, what?

[Adam Carolla]

She's 63, which doesn't really help me, but I still like the year she.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Shot up the school has a craving for lasagna, apparently.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. So it's just like Mondays.

[Adam Carolla]

So I was like. She said, oh, she said she doesn't like. Doesn't like Mondays.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So that was her when she committed the crime?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Oh, the shooting was from 79 too. Dead. Sorry.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That was.

[Alicia Krause]

Where was the shooting? In Dalton.

[Adam Carolla]

She's in San Diego now. Yeah. Could have been.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That was not as successful. Bryan Adams song, the shooting of 79.

[Adam Carolla]

I got my first real six shooter.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Loaded at the five and dime.

[Adam Carolla]

Shot it at my classmates and my lane. It was summer of 79.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Didn't go. Didn't go. Didn't go up the charts quite. Summer of 69.

[Adam Carolla]

So still catchy. Two dead, nine injured, school shooter, 70s.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

And she's in San Bernardino. And I don't know, the shooting was probably in Southern California. Now, the reason I guessed it was earlier than. It's a power mullet. 1979.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah. She started out Dogtown and ended up Bones Brigade.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. That is, I would trust her to fix my transmission.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's not put up any more pictures because I find them distracting as I tell my story. But I will say this, but I will take. So she shot up the school in 79. Which is weird because the song came out in 79, which seems weird, but they must have been on it January 79. So the very beginning of 79. That makes sense. Elementary school in San Diego. She was just denied parole, but she said it's because she doesn't like Mondays. Right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. There was a famous song by the Boomtown Rats that basically chronicled this shooter and why she did it. They wrote a song. I don't know, like, hey, Eddie, vet. Or Jeremy spoke in class today. You're really late to the fucking party. Because apparently Boomtown Rats already wrote a song about somebody shooting somebody.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

At school. And.

[Alicia Krause]

Wait, there was a school shooting song before Jeremy?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

Oh, I didn't know.

[Adam Carolla]

By the Boomtown Rats.

[Alicia Krause]

I'm just picking up what you're putting on.

[Adam Carolla]

Bob Geldof, who was of the Boomtown Rats, jumped on it because the shooting was in January, wrote the song in February. Like, he hopped on this school shooting. Now we can't play the whole song or whatever because of YouTube, but there was like, you'll know the song. No reasons. What reason do you need to be shown? Tell me why I don't like.

[Alicia Krause]

No.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't like Mondays.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So then I said to my girlfriend, yeah, I don't like Mondays. There's a song about that that Bob Gelb wrote, but he also wrote Do They Know It's Christmas Time At All. Those are his two songs. His two songs are about school shootings and bringing aid to Africa.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a range. I mean, Bob Geldof's by far two biggest compositions in the song department are the school shooting from 79 and then Live Aid or whatever it was in 84.

[Alicia Krause]

Political commentary through the art of music.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but it's a lot of rain.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That is a lot of rain.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a Christmas thing. But then as I.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Hey, Bob, we need you to step up for this whole Gaza thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Something in between.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Write a song. Bob's Still Alive remake.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Bob's still around.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's still alive.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I started thinking about it. But Do They Know It's Christmas Time is a bummer.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Very much so.

[Adam Carolla]

So in a weird way, it is in his wheelhouse because she's. He basically writes this song about this chick who's just like, she didn't like Mondays, so she went in and started shooting people at school. And there's even, like a how to die part. Like, you went there to learn how to try, but you learned how to die. Like, it was a real bumm song. Geldof, 73 years of age. But I just thought a lot of range. Christmas, a song that gets played every year. Christmas. And then the one about the chick that went on the shooting.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So when she said she was denied parole because she didn't like Mondays, she was blaming the song for her parole. I'm trying to follow. Like, she's like. Because the song. I was denied parole because they were singing it in their heads as they were like, well, not this chick.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let me push you, at you with a hypothetical, okay? Gordon Lightfoot's the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Do you think he wrote that before the boat sank or after the Edmund Fitzgerald sank? I'm just gonna ask.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm just asking if he writes it before. I also want lottery numbers from this guy.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. I'm saying he wrote the song after she said, I don't like it because.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I wrote a song about Shador Sanders going in the fifth round three months ago. Three months ago.

[Adam Carolla]

Should do.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. I'm not saying the big head means psychic abilities, but I did have that one correct.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

So let's see.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He got white ball. I did. He did. My goodness. Let's see the range on that guy.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so the principal and the custodian were killed. The eight children and a police officer were injured. And then she must have been 14.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know what?

[Alicia Krause]

I'm just wondering, where is the Sandy Hook wrapped?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

What happened?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I. I challenge an artist. I challenge. All right. Taylor Swift. Everyone says that you're the most popular artist in the world. They. Your biggest knock is you sell all the tickets. You were so popular. But your biggest knock is that the lyrical content. Not exactly up there with a Bob Seeger, you know, something like that. You're not a classic Bob Dylan singer, songwriter of the time. So I'm saying this. This is your moment, Taylor. This is your moment. Pick Shador. Pick. She write about Shador Sanders.

[Adam Carolla]

She's dating guys in the NFL. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So, yeah. So she'll have that inside information. And a guy, Travis Kelsey. We're going full circle. He's from Cleveland.

[Adam Carolla]

He.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's from the Ohio area.

[Adam Carolla]

That's where he got.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So he's got some access that. That's where he cut his teeth. So.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This is my challenge to Taylor Swift.

[Alicia Krause]

There's a small body, but many connections.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Many connections.

[Alicia Krause]

Taylor Swift, you really pulled that all.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Together, put it all. The Sandy Hook boogie. I challenge you. I challenge you, Taylor.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, we're off of Shador.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Brenda was.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I got 10 more minutes on Shador. If you want me to go, I.

[Adam Carolla]

Would like to hear.

[Alicia Krause]

We'll get to it. We'll get to it.

[Adam Carolla]

She was 16 when she did the shootings. Been in prison for I don't know. It's coming up on 50 years.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know what? But it always shows you that whenever you think you're living in a moment of history where it's like, this is unprecedented. This has never happened before. It's happened before. So, like, we're living in a time where we're like, these school shootings has never happened before, Unfortunately.

[Adam Carolla]

San Diego, California, 70s, kind of. And Jeremy spoken class is a good 20 years late to that. To that party. All right, now here's something I don't know if you guys have thought about, but I. I take it as a bad sign. I take it as a bad sign.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

I ordered quesadillas at a movie theater. Like the high end ones.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What a time to be living.

[Alicia Krause]

I know this guy is always with the classy stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, order the quesadilla. Cheese. Quesadilla. Because that's what it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be chicken or beef. It's just cheese. It's a queso. It's got queso. Queso.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We have a couple of parts of our philosophies where we disagree. This happens to be one of them.

[Adam Carolla]

Cook. Here's where we're at. It's a bad sign. On the side. It's a high end theater in Pasadena. Bings. Either food. Food's good on the plate that they brought it. I don't like eating in the dark, by the way. But anyway, they brought. Had a thing of guacamole to dip it in. And it was dark, so I couldn't really see what the other one. Sour cream. Not salsa. Sour cream. So you have guac. Good. Good for you. Quesadilla. But we've replaced the salsa with sour cream. And I don't like it. I think the pecking order is you must have. You must have salsa.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then if you got guac good, and if there's room for sour cream, fine. There's people from Wisconsin who want a quesadilla. Fine. But not in place of. This is bad. This means we're putting. At some point, like I saw a commercial for Taco bell in like 1984 where they're putting like sour cream on top of their chalupa plus or something. I was like, the fuck you doing with that sour. Get that sour cream out of here, right? It's fucking Mexican food. We don't need to. Every sour cream has taken over. The taco salad is now 61% sour cream.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The big ice cream scoop in the middle.

[Adam Carolla]

Stop it. With the ranch dressing and the pizza and all the dipping sauce with the pizza. We don't need ranch on. It's either ranch or sour cream.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Get it the fuck out of here.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sometimes you get ranch and then you get the butter sauce and you get both, and you're like, are you trying to kill me in one state, we're.

[Adam Carolla]

Trying to kill you.

[Alicia Krause]

Your quesadilla has been colonized.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. It all. Okay, so we took part, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That song. Your. Your quesadilla has been colonized.

[Adam Carolla]

We took white people that get part and we said we honkified Mexican food. Mexican food is a not supposed to have sour cream. And by the way, pizza is not supposed to have ranch sauce on it. We want full white trash dumb shit. Lowest common denominator and default. Look, here's the deal, man. If. If I have a hankering for sour cream, I should be able to request it, but it shouldn't come in place of salsa, right? It's a cheese quesadilla. It needs a dunk of salsa. Go.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You don't put macaroni and cheese on your taco. You don't colonize the taco and colonize the taco. I remember, like, there was a Seinfeld episode where they started talking about how salsa was replacing ketchup as the number one condiment. What the happened? How did we drop the ball and now salsa is being replaced by sour cream. I'm not. I'm not a sour cream fan. I do not like it. Get that shit out of.

[Adam Carolla]

Sour cream can be used to work in some sort of harmony with salsa. Like when Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson wrote that song. There's like, it can work a little bit, but it can't work alone, right? Sour cream and guac are just two slimy things that are almost inert and taste kind of close. And that's a mess. You need a little yin and a yang.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And especially, why would you do this? Where this would be the same texture where you can dip your quesadilla in salsa, feel the different chunks, feel the different pieces and go, well, this is salsa. If it's in the dark, you put your thing down in the thing. You don't know if it's walker sour cream until it reaches your mouth.

[Adam Carolla]

I would dunks Mexican food and sour cream white. We've Lost. We've lost Whitey.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This is where I'll tell you. Back the fuck off.

[Adam Carolla]

Back off, back off.

[Alicia Krause]

Do a dollop of Daisy.

[Dawson]

I do love that song, though. Ebony and sour cream.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so the quesadilla has been lost to Whitey, and the taco salads turn into a big, moist gooey shit show.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The thing is, is now you put too much sour cream on a taco salad. One of the best parts about a taco sal salad is having the crunch with your salad. Yeah, you get the ground beef, you get the lettuce, and then it's the crunch with the salad. You put a gallon and a half of sour cream on that. Now it's just.

[Adam Carolla]

It, it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It becomes a pie that's been out and non flavored for four days. Get that out of my taco salad.

[Adam Carolla]

Also.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know what? I will keep the Mexicans. They could all stay. I want. I want them all here. I want. I do not deport one more Mexican because this is how we lose. This is how the sour cream wins. We can't have this happen.

[Adam Carolla]

How far away are we, gentlemen, from me ordering chips and getting sour cream instead of salsa? I say days, maybe hours.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I feel like this is one of those. Is this like Armageddon where we're in the situation and you're like, how long until the sour cream takes over the salsa? We have days, Mr. President. And then the President just looks up and goes, mother of God, no.

[Adam Carolla]

They first. They do. They never do this scene. They go, the scientist always comes in. He goes, my calculations were way off. Remember I said we had nine years before the meteor entered our atmosphere. We now have 71 hours. No one ever goes, hey, fuck up. Maybe you're wrong about this one, too. Maybe your slide rules fucked up. No one ever questions the new one. You're off by seven years. Maybe this latest calc you fucked up as well. Nobody. Everyone just hangs their head and goes, all right, Gentlemen, we have 14 hours to clear out. New York City, Miami. And it's like, then there we go. Wait a minute. Who's this guy? Why was he off by 17 years?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

What's this new calc based on? They all just go, we got to get the Joint Chiefs of Staffs in the room, stat. Yeah, all right. Let me ask you this about stuff too, Brad, okay?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I've got opinions.

[Adam Carolla]

Too long, too short. I got a thought. I bought myself a beautiful high end bathrobe. A nice bathrobe.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You didn't just steal one from the hotel like the rest Of America. I know.

[Alicia Krause]

Come on, man, be a man.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You actually bought a bathrobe?

[Adam Carolla]

What are you.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What are you buying cake cups too?

[Alicia Krause]

No, you listen. Let him cook.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You pay for shampoo.

[Adam Carolla]

I just take the little.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh.

[Alicia Krause]

I mean, he's trying to teach you how to live the higher life.

[Adam Carolla]

They're. They're.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They're not little balls to me. They're really big balls. But I guess I get it.

[Adam Carolla]

I do not wish your predicament on anyone, except for when you're flying coach or using a bathrobe at a hotel. Because I am 6 foot 2 with arms like a condor, and I get that medium sized thing for a fucking chick, and it cuts my fucking airwaves off. Like, I cannot. I can't breathe in it. It's too my arm. You know what a small bathrobe feels worse than no bathrobe.

[Alicia Krause]

Mmm.

[Adam Carolla]

It's. It fucking. It's confining. It's weird.

[Alicia Krause]

No, it's like a negligee, but it's kind of sensitive to tell him about.

[Adam Carolla]

A short back rock. I'm saying they don't have an extra large. They just have medium for guys and for girls and they don't work. But for you it's good, but for me, it's bad.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, but then I have the opposite situation because I was on vacation and I was on. I was on a Disney cruise, which, by the way, me on a Disney cruise? It's impossible to convince them I don't work there. Yeah, I just walk in. Everyone's like, yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like me at Home Depot. I put a tape measure on my belt, I walk with purpose, and I get stopped every four feet. Exactly. Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So I'm on the Disney cruise, and I. I decided to treat myself a little bit, go to the spa that's on the Disney cruise. Also the only place where there's no kids. So it's a. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Your.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Your girlfriend would not be allowed there, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Great. So young.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I. I just. I. I go to the spa and they go, oh, here's your robe. And I'm like, oh, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, no.

[Alicia Krause]

Do you look like a wizard?

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Like, it's like, you see those clips when those armadillos curl up into a ball to protect themselves? That's me in this bathroom. I'm dragging it. I'm dragging it along the entire spa. Like, I'm like, I'm the new pope. I'm just out there like Dominic feeling massage. And I'm just walking around and everyone's seeing Me go to my massage room going, your holiness. And it's. It's so I. So I have the opposite problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let me ask you this.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you get a break with the massage because the car wash charges more for vans, you know what I mean? But, you know, like, pass it along. You know what I mean?

[Alicia Krause]

They don't do a discount.

[Adam Carolla]

Come on.

[Alicia Krause]

8.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

$120 for 90 minutes. How about 99? You're doing slightly less work.

[Adam Carolla]

So. My bathrobe, you guys, my bathrobe. At home, I realized the tie for the bathrobe is four feet too long. And I noticed it as I was pissing in the toilet the other day. And it was sitting in the toilet while I was pissing on it. And then at some point I went, you know, I'm just gonna hang it up. And I hung it up on the hook, and both sides were on the floor. Both ends of the tie were on the floor. And then I was like, I gotta pull it out or fluff it up or something. I could not arrange it. And then when I tie it, one end will still drag. And I'm like, what's with the ratio?

[Alicia Krause]

I'll tell you what it is. It has a black belt. Okay, I'm gonna coach you on this. Look, you have to do it around, backwards and around. So it goes around twice, backwards and around, and then underhook.

[Adam Carolla]

And, you know, I do the Michigan guy.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know what, Jason? I. I totally get that. I do the same thing with my penis. I do the same thing with my penis.

[Adam Carolla]

I have to go backwards and around and around.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

That's how we tie it off.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, exactly.

[Alicia Krause]

Rotation device.

[Adam Carolla]

I started thinking, and I don't know if it's still a thing, but you guys tell me if it's still a thing.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

Then I started thinking about stuff that was too long, too short. And I realized dress shoes, that you tie was always too short, too short. It was always like, I'm using my pinky and my thumb, and I'm trying to get.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You need two tweezers to tie your shoes.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's weird dress shoe kind of plasticky, round thing that when he always comes untied, some point at the wedding, some point at the court date, some point out in the dance floor, like, it's always comes untied. And I'm like, why are dress shoes. They give you no lace.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

None.

[Adam Carolla]

And then you put the high tops on. You have seven feet of that. Well, just go around two times and bring it. Okay. Why don't we get our ratio figured out? Dress shoe, high top. Why is the high top got way too much lace and the dress shoe never enough? And why can't we figure this out.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Now, I don't normally like to go back when we. When I'm on this podcast, ace, I like to. Yes. And I like to go forward. But I think I may have myself an ACE Award right here.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll listen.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay. Because you talk about. I believe best invention is still. Is still a category for the ACE Awards.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, it is.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right. So here is my invention. Because talking about me wearing those robes, I'm thinking, you don't have a clean floor. You need to clean a floor. You hire dwarves.

[Adam Carolla]

You hire dwarves.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Get some bathrobes. We walk around your house 20 minutes, spotless. Because now, you may know this. To clear grass on a large farm field.

[Adam Carolla]

Get the sheep.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You get the goats. The goats come in. They come in, they eat all the grass. Now you have. Now you have a nice manicured lawn. That's what we could do with dwarves.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah, but Disney heard about it and did it cgi.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know what they did? They put a kid on a roof and they're like, that's the same thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Assholes.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like.

[Alicia Krause]

It's a weird cover on the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's talk about it. It's like a dwarf Zamboni, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Lowercase Z. Yeah, dwarf Zamboni.

[Adam Carolla]

It would work.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And we just go. That's what. Okay, so Vatican, you want your churches to be even more spotless? Put a couple dwarf popes in there. Could have put just a couple dwarf cardinals. Couple of dwarf cardinals. Also serves a second purpose, because when the other priests want to do a little with the kids, you have a dwarf there. It's legal. It's fine. It's homosexual, which might go against the Bible, depending on your beliefs, but, you know. But that's a consenting adult. I'm solving a lot of problems here today. Lot of problems.

[Alicia Krause]

An abomination.

[Adam Carolla]

I got another question for you.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Dwarf cleaning services. Dwarf. Roomba.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Let's make it happen.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me ask you this. I did a little rant and I did a little road rant, and we put it out on our YouTube page. And I'd give it a seven and a half. It's something I thought about a lot. I was driving in to do my fire vlog coverage and passed a couple of motorcyclists, and they're wearing flat black helmets. And I don't get the flat black helmet because you literally cannot be seen. I mean, you're making yourself as invisible as possible at night. And during the day, you're dressed like a Navy seal, essentially, who's coming in at night. And my whole thing about motorcycles, which I used to ride. I've had a bunch of motorcycles. Street bikes, dirt bikes. Most of the problem comes when you're not seen.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not people, like, hunting you down. Well, I'll play you 30 seconds of it. You'll. Oh, but there's always the sound part we have to think about in front of us. The black motorcycle helmet. The guy in the lead has a flat black motorcycle helmet. Like, if you are part of the Navy SEALS and you're going in at night and you do not want to be seen, you would choose that shade for your helmet so that you cannot be detected. Motorcyclists get killed all day, every day because drivers don't see them and then cut them off or rear end them or what have you. Why are you making yourself invisible at night? That helmet is the highest point on that motorcycle. Yes. He has running lights and brake lights. Those are 11 and a half inches off the ground. His helmet is five foot off the ground. When you're driving an SUV and you're looking out your rear view mirror or you're looking at the side, you do not see the bike. You only see the guy's shoulders and head. And he is wearing an invisible helmet. He's whatever they made Wonder Woman's plane out of. That's what that guy chose for a helmet. Now, I know you're a tough guy, and I know you're badass. Also, it gets hot here in SoCal. This guy's on the 101 in July, sitting in traffic. It's 114 degrees on the 101, and he has a flat black helmet that is literally cooking his brain. It's like wearing an invisible crock pot upon your head. All right.

[Alicia Krause]

Crock pot would actually be better. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

At least you'd see it. Yeah. And listen, I'm telling you, I got a black lab. My black lab.

[Alicia Krause]

Oh, I thought you meant, like, African American scientists work there.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, my bad. Yeah, no, we've. We've perfected malt liquor, ladies and gentlemen.

[Alicia Krause]

Oh, you closed down the black lab.

[Adam Carolla]

We clapped. We closed it down.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

Would you like to see the pineapple soda division or the malt liquor division?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The lab coats are sagging.

[Adam Carolla]

So my black lab dog would lay out in the sun during the summer, and I would touch him and he would be hot to the touch. Cause he was black. Like, black soaks it up, man. You wear a black T shirt on a hot day, you feel it. So literally, San Fernando Valley's hotter than shit. You're riding around on motorcycles. Why are you fucking cooking your brain? But anyway, I do a Jag on it, and I mean it. Like, if I had a son who said, I'm riding a motorcycle, I'd go get an orange helmet. People see you coming, coming tomorrow, you know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know what you would. You would want to wear when you're riding a motorcycle? Bring up some of the outfits they wear in, like, Barbados when they're at Carnival. When you're driving down the street with devil masks. Yeah. The big feathers in the helmet, a bunch of shiny stuff. Look up any carnival outfit. Yeah, that's what you should be driving in. You should be wearing that.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Guys should be wearing. Like, him and Rihanna should be driving side by side. And then you wear that, and then you're fine.

[Alicia Krause]

My, how the hell's angels have fallen.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how much protection a thong back offers on a motorcycle, but I'm with you. Yeah, I'm with you.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You should be seen.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to be seen.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Look at LeBron James.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

He's having the time of his life at Carnival. All right? That's the whole point. These guys, because they're badasses. And let me explain something. I had a motorcycle because I was poor and I wanted to cut through traffic in la. And I like spirited riding. It was fun to go through the canyons and stuff like that on the weekends. These guys aren't into spirited riding because they're leaned back on their hog. They got the bars or the ape hangers or whatever. They're there to be seen, but not seen. And they wear all the black shit and the black. The reason they get a black helmet is. Cause I think they're tough guys. Because now I'm riding a Harley, now I'm a tough guy. These guys wear black sweat jackets, black leather jackets, black helmets. Like, they're not gonna be seen. And do not tell me that at least 10% of guys who are killed on a motorcycle are killed because they're all in black. It's a fucking night, and they're not being seen.

[Alicia Krause]

100% of guys who die on motorcycles lose.

[Adam Carolla]

Cool. Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So I want to say something.

[Adam Carolla]

I.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And you're like, okay, well, I don't look badass. All I want to look bad is the most badass person ever to ride a motorcycle was evil. God damn Knievel. And he had a white jumpsuit.

[Adam Carolla]

Red wine.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Red, white and blue helmet.

[Adam Carolla]

Could see him from outer space.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And he was just going on a ramp. And we saw him when he didn't clear it. And he bounced 72 times on the pavement.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. That good enough for evil? Good enough.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's the most badass person ever to hop on a hog. You think you. You think you're better than Evil Knievel?

[Alicia Krause]

You're not his soul.

[Adam Carolla]

Gandhi's not better than Evel Knievel.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, look at that.

[Adam Carolla]

Look at that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

How would you miss that guy?

[Adam Carolla]

You could not miss the cape and the helmet. That's my whole point. So this all dressed in black. It's not just him. 71% of people I see riding on a motorcycle have a flat black helmet. It's the highest thing off the ground. It's your best chance of being seen. You should be. It should be stainless steel with a polish on. Should be a disco ball. You should wear disco ball on your.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But you are.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, here's the comment. Anyway, the point is, is once I released this on our YouTube page, it got commentary, which I love, because the.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Bike guys get into it.

[Adam Carolla]

They get into it. All right, Dawson, you want to read this?

[Dawson]

I like Adam, but this is one of the stupidest videos I've ever watched. 30 seconds of. How do I get that 30 seconds back? Adam, do you not realize there are red lights in the back of motorcycles?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, hold on. In the video, I said there are running lights, but they're low. They're very low to the ground.

[Alicia Krause]

He didn't watch that. 30 seconds.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he didn't get to the next 30. All right, sorry, Go ahead.

[Dawson]

Nobody's looking at the guy's head, no matter what color or texture the motorcycle.

[Adam Carolla]

Pause. The whole point is we're not looking at his head, but if there's something shiny behind us that's five feet off the ground, then we will notice it before we. Yes. Before we switch lanes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah. Guys should be wearing a Daft Punk helmet.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. That's right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Just with lasers coming out of it. You want to be seen. Yeah, that's the whole point. And you want to be seen for being a badass on your motorcycle. Be seen as a badass. Put these kind of outfits on, and then. And then you'll be safe and you'll be good. Like, because it's that. Like. Like you said, it's the lights on the back of the motorcycle are the size of those vanity plates at Disneyland with your kid's name on it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

When you buy. Oh, where's the bobby plate? That's how big these lights are.

[Adam Carolla]

They're very low to the ground. And people are driving full size SUVs now. So they're up high off the ground.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You look out the rear window. The rear window on a Cadillac Escalade starts at about 4 foot. Brad, stand up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

It's about. It's literally higher than Brad's head. It's up off the ground.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

If you're looking at the back and the guy's close, you're not going to see it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Sorry.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I have two friends who are little people that ride motorcycles. And what they do. They're low. They're the same thing. They're low to the ground. They put these giant reflecting flags on the back of their bike because they're trying to get seen at every possible angle.

[Adam Carolla]

Smart.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, here we go.

[Dawson]

My road rant as I spent 30 minutes getting to a club only to find out you canceled the Houston show. Miho, you disappoint me.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, mijo. When I cancel a Houston show.

[Alicia Krause]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

That night? I never canceled a day of show. I may have canceled show, like, four months in advance or something.

[Alicia Krause]

This guy was waiting at the club.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam spent 30 minutes getting to the show to find out I didn't show up. Huh. All right, keep going.

[Dawson]

Being dead is the ultimate proof that you are tough. It doesn't get tougher than that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I actually like this tweet.

[Adam Carolla]

I like that one.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I like this tweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dawson]

This is the most retarded rant I've heard. The bikes have a headlight and running lights on day and night. If you're so blind that you can't see a headlight shining in your face.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. Evidently, a lot of people are so blind. Or texting.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

I cannot tell you the number of times I've been, like, behind someone in a canyon who's going 14 miles an hour, and I'm just flipping them the high beams, and they don't even. No movement, no anything. Yes. People are on a lot of pharmaceuticals. They're staring at their fucking phone. They're up in their head. Yes. They don't see you. That's why I'm saying go with the mirror ball.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Sorry. Continue.

[Dawson]

If you're so blind you can't see a headlight shining in your face, in your rear view mirror, maybe it's time to put down the phone and quit recording. You're the one being dangerous here. They should wear effing. Or they should wear effing orange cone helmets so idiots recording them instead of paying attention don't ram into them. Yeah, I rode before and after the stupid helmet law. F you, Pete Wilson and former biggest.

[Adam Carolla]

Former governor Pete Wilson.

[Dawson]

Go ahead and rode with the biggest MC in the world without an issue while wearing a black helmet. Maybe cars should all be painted pink, yellow, and orange also. Dude.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah, you don't want to piss off the club. Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, here's the thing. When you're in a car, you have protection. See, he's going, what about guys driving black cars? So guys who ride black cars have airbags and crumple zones and seatbelts and shit, so they have protection. That's what I'm saying. You're out on your own. That's why I want you to be visible. If I'm in an SUV and I get hit, I'm probably gonna survive.

[Alicia Krause]

What I'm hearing. This is all coming from a place of love, really.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the part of life that I'm interested in. And almost every argument I've ever had with a woman is me going, I'm trying to solve this problem. Why are you angry? But I'm saying, where I ordered, somebody ordered for me or whatever. When I moved to Malibu, I said, let's go sea kayaking. I told someone to order, like, three life vests. Yeah, they're all navy blue. They blend in perfectly with the ocean. If I ever can fall off, T boned, and end up in the drink, I'll never be found. Why are you making life preservers? The same colors? They always do that thing, too. The helicopter. We're trying to spot him. We can't spot him. The water's rough. We can't spot him. Well, if it was orange, maybe you could spot him, but if it's the exact same color of the sea, and when I say sea, I mean it both ways. A sea of sea. Well, then, no, you couldn't spot the person.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It goes against the point of the. Of the life vest.

[Adam Carolla]

Why do we have the color orange? Why does Caltrans wear orange vests?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So you don't run them over.

[Adam Carolla]

We don't run them over.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What if I just went, you know, we're going flat black. Yeah, the fly black Caltrans.

[Alicia Krause]

Are you running for Secretary of Transportation?

[Adam Carolla]

I want. I want flat black. Get rid of these orange cones. Let's make them flat. Black as well.

[Alicia Krause]

Everything's fine.

[Adam Carolla]

The guy should be flat black.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. The guy in the comments just rides orange cone on the head. That's a better idea.

[Adam Carolla]

You would see it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And now they have. They have the flat black helmets. I've seen some of them. And they put like fake neon mohawks on them. There you go. Yeah, you could have your cake and eat it too.

[Alicia Krause]

There.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Have your flat black helmet, but then have random mohawks and go and be driving down the road like the freaking Legion of Doom from wrestlers from the 90s.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah. Full pyrotechnics.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Have sparklers. Sparklers. Why not?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we have another comment.

[Dawson]

I just came to say that when I saw this in my feed, I thought it said road pants and that made me laugh. I was hooked. What the are road pants? It's only a three minute video. It must be a bit or a clip. You're in the car talking. I get it. That's cool. But Road Pants was a better title.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Hey, everybody, weed is legal. That's that one.

[Alicia Krause]

Some Internet comment etiquette right there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Road pants, man. Oh, that's fantastic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, man. All right, we out of.

[Dawson]

We got two more.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, two more. I like it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Racist.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. It's good. I like that one.

[Alicia Krause]

I like it. It took only five minutes for that one.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Two. Two questions. One, who is it racist against in the negative? And then two, who then is it building up on the opposite side in the positive? When you answer that question, then I. Then I'll be on your side. Yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

You should know, it's disadvantaged flat black community.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yeah, it's the flat black community.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Dawson]

I just want.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I just thought flat blacks are female. Women. No titties.

[Dawson]

Unwatchable. Shut the fuck up. Helmets. Doesn't matter. That's why we have lights. Mr. Know it all. Left hand turners are the number one cause of bike deaths. Must be hard.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. I get it's people turning in front, but the people who turn in front of you, left in front of you don't see you coming is what I'm saying. That's why they're not trying to take you out. They're turning in front of you because they don't see you. So I'm just trying to come up with ways to be more seen. Maybe it's 10%, maybe it's 18%, but I feel like an orange helmet would help in terms of turning in front.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Of you, but then I wouldn't look cool when I'm splattered all over the pavement.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Dawson]

Well, must be hard when reality doesn't match your preconceived arguments. By the way, preconceived this one.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

If the bike community wants to come after me. All right. You'll be a badass. When you're kicking the shed of a in front of your clubhouse, everyone's gonna be like, wow, they're really tough.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I don't feel like.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Look, come at the.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's go. Let's go to the extreme. Let's. Let's go to the. Let's go to the extreme. Let's go to the extreme.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody invented a device many years ago called a flare gun so that people could be found at sea, Right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

But they didn't give them a swatch of black velvet to hold up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes. Right. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because that wouldn't be effective.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And the gun that shoots fire. The flare that they fire is high. It's high and it's like. It's fire. It's bright. It's not like. Well, we put a black flare in there so you look.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Right. So. Right. We filled it full of Duvetyne shavings and fired it at the sun. All right. So higher up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Duvetyne Shavings was taken in the third round of the NFL draft this year. Duvetine Shavings.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a. He's a corner.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's got speed. He's got good quick twitch. Shut down Duvetyne Shavings.

[Adam Carolla]

Duvety.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Good pick. Good pick.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so I'm just saying it's a percentage thing. And you're more likely to be seen with an orange helmet versus a flat black helmet.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It seems logical.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. It angered people.

[Alicia Krause]

Wait, what was the guy in the 70s who or 60s that made everyone get a seatbelt? That's.

[Adam Carolla]

That's Ralph Nader.

[Alicia Krause]

You're turning into Nader these days.

[Adam Carolla]

I love it. Hold on. Nader, please. Drafted first overall, shut down corner. Yeah, I'm just. I. It's always. I'm interested that in people that have to take the time to settle the hash of people that are making short form jokes but also happen to be correct. It's a funny. It's a funny thing to take to the keyboard too. You know what I mean? I am outraged.

[Alicia Krause]

Get him YouTube.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Get him that. And what's funny to me is if you know anything about YouTube. YouTube algorithms. Yeah, but they're only helping you.

[Alicia Krause]

Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Because they are engaging. And now piss them all off. Yeah, exactly. So, hey, throw more comments your way. You'll just drive the traffic rage bait. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Here's one more thing. I don't know if you guys know about it or not.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's interesting. All right. I got this one I was reading. They were doing the Star Spangled Banner for the hockey game or something. I was reading it up there. And then there's that part that goes, say, does that Star Spangled Banner yet win? Or the land of the rain. I'm like, or. Now, I'm not an educated guy. I didn't do a lot of reading, but I'm like. Or saying. Or. But he's saying it kind of weird.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's like, O apostrophe E R, E R, E, R. Right, Right. It doesn't mean either or. It's not that. It's like.

[Alicia Krause]

Or.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Land of the Free.

[Alicia Krause]

It was kitschy back then. You know how we say gonna. You know, it was one of those things where.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Alicia Krause]

Or like, they didn't say over.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Right.

[Alicia Krause]

It was down a folksy way to sing it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay. This brings me back to a couple things. We always go, what are we teaching in school? And then my school, I learned to make Pillsbury Popovers. You know, Parmesan? Pillsbury Popovers. Like the least nutritious thing ever. Like, junk. I waste ceramics class, sewing class, a bunch of shit. And they go, why are we teaching these kids how to balance their checkbook or how to apply for a loan or what compounded interest means? How about just one Tuesday? I'm not gonna say Monday because I don't like Monday. One Tuesday in the seventh grade, we just dedicate to this song so everyone won't fuck it up. God forbid one of you becomes a famous singer and has to do the King's Game and fucks that up. You know what I mean? We kind of lay it down. Or the land means over.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Not. Or, you know, let's just. It's not embarrassing. Like, at some point you get on some morning radio show, you become the whipping boy and they go, hey, Gary the whipping boy. Do the Star Spangled Banner. The guy fucks it up 10 ways a Sunday. Right? Right. It's embarrassing. THEY LAUGH. How about just. It's a national anthem. How about seventh grade, first day homeroom? We're just going to dedicate an hour.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Just knock it out.

[Alicia Krause]

We're just going to knock it out to military school. I already went through. You did?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you went through it? Yeah. I didn't go through it. I didn't. I didn't know or. I didn't know. I didn't know or was above until I was 60 there. I waited till I was six.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

There's a video. I believe it's. It might be Florida Panthers, but they're doing the national anthem with kazoos or. I don't know if it's kazoos, like, or. Oh, no, it's a harmonicas. And I think it's harmonicas. And it's before the. It's before a National Hockey League playoff game. So a. You have everyone on the ice is probably not American except for Keith Tkachuk and. Or Matthew Kachuk. This kid. Yeah. And then. So you got Matthew Chuck. He's American, but no one else is American. We're doing the national anthem with.

[Adam Carolla]

We have the LA Kings harmonica national anthem.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, they do the harmonica national anthem. And then you're just like, wow. You want to be respectful while. While. While you're hearing.

[Alicia Krause]

It's like it was kazoos.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

Monica is different, though.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, it was. Okay, here's.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. I'm gonna go with yes. Oh, it's harmonica.

[Alicia Krause]

Oh, not good. The senior center. It's okay. K town goes up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm glad the crowd is singing or else it would just be dog shit. And that's it. I'm glad that they get to do that. But that's like something you do in the park. Not before an LA Kings game.

[Adam Carolla]

It's novel. I don't like it.

[Alicia Krause]

Koreans to stop this.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. They put into this immediately. So. All right, I agree. I don't like no novelty. Get the words down. Everyone learns home.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Frickin sing it.

[Adam Carolla]

They learn it in their home class at home, perioded. And they learn it in the seventh grade. Just one day. First day. That's it. Home.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. So you don't have that kid over the land of the free.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Or me going. Or the land. And I'm like, or wait a choice here.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You have or the land or the free.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. Can't have both.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Can't have both.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so there was that. And then the last thing. Before we get into some news here, tell me if you guys have experienced this. And I think it's an issue. I think it's a real issue. And I'm not trying to break it down along gender lines here. The purse is not the friend of the woman. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. The purse. So here's what the purse does. It hides stuff from you. It hides your Stuff from you. For instance, I've been with women. Every time you leave, they go, oh, my phone. My phone's back home. My phone's back. And they start, they start searching around my phone. Oh, I forgot my phone. Turn around, turn around. You start turning around. Then some point, they pull it out of their purse, they go, oh, here it is. Here it is. I had an ex wife who went to New York and had both sets of her Audi car keys in her purse. And I had to move her car and it was blocking the whatever. And I was like, where's the keys? And it's like, oh, oh, I have them both. Right, right. Which would never happen to a dude because there's no way you're going to LAX with two sets of keys to your car in your fucking jeans, right? And then it's happened a lot. It's happened a lot with women. Where I go, where's the key? Okay, I have my car here, right? I said, okay, leave the keys in the car. It's safe. Whatever. Some point, my girlfriend said, I gotta go run errands or whatever, took the other car and left. Some point I had to leave. Where were the car keys? In her purse. And she took her. She took my car, but she took her purse. It's not on the table. I, as a guy, can't do it because it's in, it's in my hand or it's in my pants or it's sliding around the console or whatever.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You're hiding stuff from you, right?

[Alicia Krause]

What are we gonna do, Give women pockets? Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. The only time I run into this is what we do is when I travel and I have the fucking backpack with 13 different zippers on it. And I've been at the airport fucking in a full freak out, like, oh, fuck my keys. Fuck my. Oh, here. I've been in there, like turning the backpack upside down and inside out. And a flashlight doing. At some point, it's in the side pocket with the small thing. They do that every day of their life?

[Alicia Krause]

Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, that's every day of their life. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Then she buys, we get nyquil, right? And then at some point, right off the keys and the thing. It's not their fault. I'm saying I like the idea of a purse, but they lose shit in the purse, right? So then at some point we get home, got the NyQuil, I go, I'll get the NyQuil, bring it upstairs, and I go downstairs, search the whole place. Yeah, no nyquil. Then I get the. Maybe I left it in the car. All right, I'm going out my bathrobe with the fucking tie dragon on the floor. I'll go out, search the car, come back in. Can't find the nyquil. Where's the nyquil? Is it in a bag? Do we have the bag? Is the bag around? I don't know. Oh, you know what? I didn't look for the. I look for the bag. But if it's outside the bag, go back after the car again. Maybe it's in the door. Maybe it's in that door.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

It's in the purse.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's in the purse.

[Adam Carolla]

The purse is zipped shut.

[Alicia Krause]

Oh, I thought she drank the whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's in the purse, right? And the. It's not out. It's in the purse. And I'm not going through anyone's purse. I'm looking. That's Private purse.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a. It's a burial ground for tampons and God knows what else. I'm not going at sacred ground.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'll do you one better.

[Adam Carolla]

Chicks up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'll tell you one better. My wife has asked me to get something from her purse, but because the purse has so many compartments, I'm looking at thing like, I. It's in here. I can't find it in here.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Like, because she put. She goes, oh, get my keys. They're in my purse. Okay, I'm gonna go to the purse. I open the big compartment. It's not there. I'm shining my phone light on to try to get some reflection. Go back to the nothing. And then she has it in the secret pocket, the secret thing. I'm like, well, I. How would I know? Yeah, it's a secret pocket.

[Adam Carolla]

It's next to the rape whistle.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. But you know what? Here's what I want to say. And then it doesn't end because they have 14 purses. And then at some point, you get in that shit where they go, have you seen my eyeliner? My. Whatever. Whatever that thing is. They lose a piece of jewelry, God forbid.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

They got to search every purse in the closet.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Everybody pocket in every.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I started thinking about. Imagine if my thing was I have 11 wallets. How up would I be? No, I would leave every day. Where's my credit card?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Fuck. It's in the other one.

[Adam Carolla]

The other wallet. My other jeans that went out last night with my dress wallet. Now I got my casual wallet.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I left.

[Adam Carolla]

Shit.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I left it in the Kate Spade wallet.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. If you had nine wallets, you'd be fucked. Yes, they have it. They're screwed.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

If I just carried a backpack and I had nine wallets, I'd be fucked. I couldn't find anything. All the time women. You got the purse. You're not good enough for the purse. You got to keep it in your hand.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Let's give them pockets.

[Adam Carolla]

When you walk out of the car, whatever it is, the keys, the NyQuil, the cell phone, whatever in the handle, don't put. Once it goes in the purse, it's gone.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's gone, it's gone.

[Adam Carolla]

Black hole, it's gone. They don't even know. Purse, get away from the purse. It sounds good, it's like Ozempic. It sounds good. But something bad's coming down the road. That's what I'm saying. Get rid of the purse.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know what? I think this is a great observation. A purse is a sometimes thing where you like. Okay. Now I have to have a lot of stuff with me. Okay, got that. But your everyday, your daily driver. No, no purse.

[Adam Carolla]

I am telling you, no purse. I opened that fridge one day, I saw car keys sitting in the fridge. Dr. Drew's car key did not want to forget the refrigerated serum that he had in there to not forget about. That's the opposite of a purse.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah, I was gonna tell you. Sorry I'm late today. I couldn't find my keys.

[Adam Carolla]

They were in the freezer. Yeah, that's the opposite.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And see, my dad taught me a lot of great life lessons. One of them around my house, every now and then you would see just a big cantaloupe in the middle of the floor. And we'd be like, why is there a cantaloupe in the middle of the floor? And my dad be like, ah, the. I left the pool water running and he would turn. So every now and then there'd be a cantaloupe in the middle of the floor, there'd be a chair turned upside down, a lot of things kind of like listen. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Know thyself.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I was driving to drop the car off the Audi to get it service. And my girlfriend said, we got Jimmy's son's gift in the back. Wanna make sure and bring that with us cause I wanna send it off. And I said okay. And I took the keys that were sitting in the console and I put em on my head and I put my ball cap over the keys and I said, now, I will not forget.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Now what do the keys have to do with a present? Well, nothing other than at some point I'M gonna go, what the fuck? Oh, okay. And I'll do it. I do stuff like that. You have to do that shit all the time if you're. If you come up with a joke or something, like you want to remember something.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't. And you can't find a pad. You don't have to write out the joke on your hand. You just make a mark on your hand. At some point you go, what the fuck's that doing there? Oh, the joke.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the idea.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Put this shit on the floor.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Overturn a chair. Put a melon in the head on the floor.

[Alicia Krause]

Here's my cantaloupe.

[Adam Carolla]

Punch your wife in the face. No, I. I've had it happen, but it is sad.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I come home and I thought my dad was turning into Gallagher. There'd be fruit on the ground. Like, oh, boy. When the sledge o matic.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't. I did an hour with my son at dinner last night about who Gallagher was, and he was like, what? Wait, which Gallagher? Well, I got into that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Highest grossing comedian of the 80s.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's like, what? How do I not know who this guy is?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Ran for governor. Right there. There's a video of him. His plan to fix traffic when he was running for governor is that he would have helicopters fly in, pick up the car that has been mangled, stalled or whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Take it to a neutral location.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Where then the investigation would. Would happen. That was his plan.

[Adam Carolla]

I had a funniest conversation with my 18 and a half year old son last night at dinner. I go, oh, no. Galaxy. No. His son, his brother took over his act. We started talking about taking over the act. And then he said, is Gallagher still alive? No, no, he passed away a few years ago. And, oh, I go, I go, look up sledge o matic. And he goes, wow, that sounds like a horrible disease. What happened? I go, no, he didn't die of the sledge o matic. I know it sounds like a disease, but no, he used the sledge o matic. And then, then he proceeded to pull his phone out. We stared at Gallagher smashing shit with the sledge o Matic for 20 minutes. And then got to the bottom of his brother, Gallagher, too. T o o, who basically said to his brother, who toured with him and evidently did some writing as well. Here's where it gets murky. So. And Gallagher was a massive 80s. I mean, he probably had the first five HBO, you know, listen, I remember, man.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I remember him jumping on the.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The whole Thing.

[Adam Carolla]

So he roller skating. So he said to his brother, you can do Gallagher 2, but you gotta keep it to club size places. And you gotta use the two.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And you can't be playing the towns I'm playing in.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And he said, okay. And then at some point, he dropped the two and started wanting to play larger venues. And then Gallagher one said, hey, man. And then he ended up suing his own brother because it can go no other way.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's Icarus flying too close to the sun, where it's like, you're just like. You were given an act.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

As a comedian, you were. The hardest part, Bequeathed, is writing your material, coming up with your material. You were given an act that would make money, and you said, I'm gonna try to do this on my own now. Right. You were given rules. You could have made a living.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Alicia Krause]

Could have just went together and it'd be a fever dream. With two Gallaghers. Smash. You could do that many melons.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Gallagher, too, could do the early stuff. Gallagher could do the more recent stuff. Yeah. He does the great. He has the greatest hit. So now. So now your. Your opening act is. Is two hours of yourself.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Amazing. And then you do the. They did the Sledomatic in stereo. It would have been perfect. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

It was so funny because I was watching the Sledge O Matic with my son, and at a certain point he just goes, why is there a giant couch behind him? And I was like, don't even.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's a whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

That's another dinner.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's a whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's just stick to the Sledge O Matic.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Gallagher had some of the smartest bits ever. And yet he was so popular for just smashing fruit with a knife.

[Adam Carolla]

I did. I said he did funny, multifaceted, cutting, political, Carlin esque.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Commentary. Yeah. But yet just known as the guy smashes the gore.

[Alicia Krause]

That's what pulled the dummies in. But, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And then he made him.

[Alicia Krause]

You gotta have something kitschy, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta have a hook girl. It's so weird. Everyone should have kids just so you can do weird stuff with them. Like, you know, next thing, telling the one kid about why they don't like Mondays and tell the other kid about Gallagher. You know what I mean? It's a great life.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Just you put your thoughts into your children. That's one of the. That's one of the best parts about having kids is you get to now have this little vestule that you could Put all your fucked up thoughts into.

[Adam Carolla]

And they're also. You're seeing society through their eyes. What the fuck is this? I'm like, this is the biggest comedian of my life.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And they go like Kevin Hart was back in the 80s. No, no, no, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Brother took his axe. Yep.

[Alicia Krause]

Part two.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. You get to explain. You get to explain all this and.

[Adam Carolla]

Then as you're explaining it, you're going, what the fuck is going on? That is right. That's right. His brother must still be alive. Somebody, somebody. Look, Gallagher, I think died in 2022. Gallagher got crazy at the very end. Or close? No, not the very end, just closer to the end. He just went full.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Alicia Krause]

I don't know about that.

[Adam Carolla]

I talked to him.

[Alicia Krause]

Well, tell me.

[Adam Carolla]

I would picture whatever trajectory Roseanne was on. You know what I mean? Like biggest of the 80s, highest grosses, then turned into conspiracy theorists. Kind of crazy. Anti government. I like it. Now this was the other problem too. I kept saying Gallagher brothers. And then they'd go, noel Gallagher's alive. Which says on my screen right now. And then he's showing the Oasis. And I'm like, those are different Gallagher brothers. But then is one of them named Noel Nolan? Leon.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So my screen is explaining to me that one of the Gallagher brothers from Oasis is still alive.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They're both still alive.

[Adam Carolla]

The most good information to have.

[Alicia Krause]

Very much alive.

[Adam Carolla]

Except for. I'm talking about. About the comedian. Yeah, set that up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's it. Wow. Imagine that, two Gallagher brothers feuding.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I want to know if the brother's alive. I said Gallagher died in 2022. And then I'm asking if his brother's.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Alive and they're giving you the guy saying Wonderwall.

[Alicia Krause]

It's making me want. Yeah, it's making me wonder about like a genetic component to being a dick. Right. Because both. All four Gallaghers I know are.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Hey, if you're out there right now listening and your last name is Gallagher and you have a brother, call him right now and tell him you love him. Yeah, just. Let's, let's nip this thing in the bud before you guys start a feud like. And subscribe. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. So he's only been gone for about three years. Not even. And then there's his brother who's also comedian.

[Alicia Krause]

Smashing watermelons at the retirement.

[Adam Carolla]

May be alive.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He could do the act now.

[Alicia Krause]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Ya, stop.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No one's going to sue him.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think there's probably going to stayed around. All right, do we have an answer. Or is the Internet just that?

[Alicia Krause]

Not slow.

[Adam Carolla]

Internet slow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

Dawson's got.

[Dawson]

I think his name is Ron Gallagher and it appears as if he's alive.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, all right.

[Alicia Krause]

Get him on Facebook.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Head on the road. Ron, go. Go up to Spokane right after Corolla's there.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Let's see some real entertainment. Ron Gallagher is going to be in town.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll take a quick break. What? Dawson moving? Nothing. Got it. Is he. I think he may be the younger brother, but he's probably in his early 70s. Got an age on the guy?

[Dawson]

Not yet.

[Adam Carolla]

And we'll find out if he's booked anywhere, too. All right, quick break. Be right back with news right after this. Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Woo. Love these guys. Oh, yeah, you know the jingle and look, they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service and parts knowledge. The kind of stuff you need to maintain and to do your own repairs. Always a car guy, have all the tools, always done all the wrenching. I mean, the super modern stuff's a little harder to wrench on than the old. My old Isuzu Trooper. That was easy. Go up to the O'Reilly up on Foothill. Take care of business man. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, friendly. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam 1-800-Flowers. Mother's Day is coming up quick and there's no better way to celebrate mom other than get her a fresh bouquet of roses from 1-800-Flowers. Yeah, stuff's good. It's fresh, it's beautiful. They sent them over. My mom has passed. But don't worry, I still enjoyed those flowers. This year I'm teaming up with 1-800-flowers.com to make mother's Day even sweeter. Because right now you order one dozen roses and they double it. That's right, two dozen. They'll add another dozen absolutely free. The roses from 1-800-Flowers are picked at their peak, cared for every step of the way and shipped fresh to ensure high quality and long lasting beauty. Bouquets are selling fast, so lock in your order. Today it is 1-800-Flowers. Am I right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

To claim your double your roses offer, go to 1-800-flowers comm/adam that's 1-800-flowers.com Adam.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Friend of mine, she's a dwarf like me. All right. She's 3 foot 7. 3 foot 7 is about there. Right about my shoulder. Okay. Her husband, 6 foot 2, black man, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Do not.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Do not feel bad for the thought you just had in your head. Everyone had that thought. Everyone had that thought. The most religious person in this room just thought to themselves, I want to watch them fuck. All right.

[Dawson]

Brad Williams is on the Adam Carolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

Brad's got a lot of dates. Very funny. Standup out here in SoCal, basically. Riverside, Anaheim, Thousand Oaks. You go to BradWilliamsComedy.com and you see.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Those dates play in the theaters now. Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Love it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We're in the theaters. Not saying. I'm not going back to the clubs at some point. I'm not that delusional. But for right now, I'm playing the theaters. I'm gonna make that money while I can.

[Alicia Krause]

So much easier.

[Adam Carolla]

So much easier. And it's just. It'll also show the Internet. Here's the thing. If you know shit, you'll be smarter in the Internet, because I ran into this last night. I was like, gallagher Brothers comedian. My son's like Noel Gallagher. No, nope, not him.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Not him.

[Adam Carolla]

He's from a band. Yeah. You will do it well.

[Alicia Krause]

You're going to be the one that saves him.

[Adam Carolla]

Ronald Gallagher's not touring. Sorry. He died.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Ron Gallagher's out, too.

[Dawson]

The Gallagher that looks like January 2nd of this year.

[Adam Carolla]

He just died, by the way. You can. That'll be the lead. No, not touring anymore. We'll do the math after we find out his check. Wait, Adam. Oh, Adam. Breaking news.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, boy.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam. I don't know. We can verify this source. I swear to God. I'm looking at the Internet right now because there's literally a brother, Ronald Gallagher, who is a priest who died on the same day. That might be the obituary that they're talking about, because this Gallagher brother has very little of a digital footprint, so to speak. We can't find anything. I believe he looks like Gallagher.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, that'll help, at least when he was touring as Gallagher 2, he did.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

You're saying he faked his own death?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, all right. So he may or may not be bookable.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, it doesn't.

[Dawson]

It appears that Ron Gallagher doesn't have. His brother does not have a Wikipedia page.

[Adam Carolla]

That's fine.

[Alicia Krause]

Check his LinkedIn.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the guy who looks like Andy Griffith when he's 81 is not the Gallagher that we're thinking about Common name. All right, what do you got, Mahem?

[Alicia Krause]

All right, first up, An Australian family is in disbelief after a stranger allegedly snuck into their home half a dozen time and used their swimming pool without permission.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm a fan. We got some footage here.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah, apparently you would just. There we go.

[Adam Carolla]

Authorities are investigating a series of bizarre break ins in New Farm after a stranger snuck into a family swimming pool. Yeah, just a paddle pincher caught on camera half a dozen times, but the family has no idea who he is.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

A quick peek before popping into the pool.

[Brad Williams]

It just feels a little bit entitled.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But this is no regular post workout diploma. This is not this man's house nor his pool. But he's certainly treating it like it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on a second. I like these. Doing laps the short way. That's how I do lapse.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, that's all lap to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's pretty generous to call this a pool. It's a glorified koi pond. Like that's a lap pool. And it's not even really a lap pool. But all right, he's in the pool.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But this is no regular post workout dish. This is not this man's house nor his pool. But he's certainly treating it like it is. Making himself at home in Holly Stevens's backyard at least five times since January.

[Adam Carolla]

Essentially.

[Brad Williams]

Open up the back gate, look inside the house and then check no one's home. Jump in the pool. So we've come to the conclusion he's obviously scoping out the property whilst we're. Just make sure no one's home.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The sneaky swimmer even taking off his shoes at the front door of the New Farm home before loosening out his limbs in luxury.

[Brad Williams]

He's like sweaty, has sneakers on and is running and then he's stretching in the pool after a run, which is honestly very gross because it's just like this guy that we don't know, he's coming in sweaty and swimming.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Holly says they've caught the Dirty dipper nearly half a dozen times, but believe he's been secretly making a splash even more often than that.

[Brad Williams]

We installed better CCTV after about the second time.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, can we pause it? I, I like, I like the idea. I wanna live wherever this news broadcast is. Cause this is their idea of crime watch.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right? Ours is, this is a utopia.

[Adam Carolla]

Homeless guy with a rusty machete decapitated two other homeless guys who are napping on a bench and then turned the machete on a special needs child. Like this is not Stretching in a lap pool.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

We should all have this kind of crime in our neighborhood.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know, what If I found out a guy was using my lap pool in my backyard, I like, clearly he knows where I live, he knows what's going on. I would start leaving out cookies for him like Santa Claus, like, hey buddy.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah, I'm glad they didn't have a hot tub. They catch me throwing a beat.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. I would adhere myself to this man. I would start. I started being friendly to him because he doesn't mind coming to my backyard when I'm not home.

[Adam Carolla]

He's not robbing the house. It's like a little bit of a neighborhood watch situation going on and listening. Listen, I used to do this. I've told you that I did it in my neighbor's pool almost on a nightly basis. So I cannot find quarrel with this guy because I engaged in this behavior myself. I slept in a garage, it was 110 degrees. I had no air conditioning. It was the dog days of summer. I work construction and I would climb over that fence and dip myself in that pool every night. I didn't wear trunks either, but I did it like three. I didn't do it when I went to bed. I would go to bed at like 11:00 and then somewhere around 3:30 in the morning, I'd wake up covered in my own sweat and go, oh God, I gotta cool down. And that's when I'd get my neighbors. Yeah, get my neighbor's pool.

[Alicia Krause]

Plot twist. That's his family used to live at that house. So that's why he feels so comfy.

[Adam Carolla]

And by the way, he doesn't look bad in his trunks.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know, I gotta say, good looking dude.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, this is not a real crime issue. And I did it, so I'm fine. And that's not much of a good I. Get over yourself. Right, right.

[Alicia Krause]

All right, next up, we got Jay Leno says he made a mistake letting Jimmy Kimmel humiliate him on his show. I don't know if we could find the clip, but there's. In 2010, Kimmel made an appearance on Leno's show and called him out on his decision. You know, kind of made a joke.

[Adam Carolla]

No. All right.

[Alicia Krause]

It's fine. He said when he asked what the greatest pranks that he ever pulled. Kimmel said, I told the guy that five years from now, I'm going to give you my, my show. And then when five years came, I gave it to him and then took it back almost instantly. So he kind of took shots at the whole Coco situation, and Conan didn't get the show, and Leno is out saying that he humiliated me on my own show. I let it happen, and I didn't edit it. It was my mistake. I trusted somebody. I went, ah, I made a mistake. Okay. I should pay the price. I really wish I could do a Jay Leno. And it's fine.

[Adam Carolla]

It's really fine. I mean, I could have edited it out of the show.

[Alicia Krause]

That was my attempt. Sorry.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That was closer to Gilbert Godfrey.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

See what I'm saying?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That was Iago.

[Adam Carolla]

I would say it is top 10 in the 185 division of the UFC in terms of impressions of Lana, but just generally.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, sure.

[Adam Carolla]

But I will. Look, I kind of. I remember I was with Kimmel when all this beef was going down. The problem was, okay, somehow it was a weird time. You were either team Leno or team Letterman back in the day, I remember.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

I like that. We'd need a picture of both of them. What do those two gents look like again? You can get rid of the picture. We don't need pictures. You can find the clip. Which we could have found maybe, but we don't need the picture of the two. All right, so listen, we don't need him.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We don't need him. I wouldn't know what I look like.

[Adam Carolla]

I. No, you can't talk. You gotta go. So Stern, Howard Stern loved Letterman, and then he hated Leno, and then Jimmy loved Howard Stern, so they were team Letterman. Letterman is a dick, by the way. And Leno's nice, but I did prefer the comedic stylings of Letterman over Leno, But I didn't know why we had to do a hatfields and the McCoys here. They're both just guys who get 30 million bucks a year to do late night.

[Alicia Krause]

Did you move to America? We heard about everything.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

And so when we started with Kimmel, it was like, fuck Leno. And I'm like, I know Leno. He's always nice. He doesn't seem to care about this or that. I don't think he has it out for you or for Letterman or forever. Now, there's things in books and things portrayed in late night docudramas and things like that that may suggest otherwise, But Letterman is no angel either. And so basically, all I'm saying is, we're all adults. We all make a lot of money. We all do comedy. We're living the dream. Why are we getting caught up in this? I don't get it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm 1,000% with you. And I would say that this hearkens back to my high school days when it was in sync or Backstreet Boys. You cannot be a fan of both. You had to pick a side.

[Alicia Krause]

And you wish, Justin.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You wish death upon the other side. I was a BSB guy myself.

[Alicia Krause]

We're mortal enemies.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. So now we have to hate each other. No. You seem like an all right guy. I don't have to hate you because of your in sync links. You know, you're a Timberlake guy now.

[Alicia Krause]

Buy, buy, buy.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

But listen, people do that with Ford versus Chevy. Like, they're American iconic American brands. They both make a hell of a pickup truck. They make a great full size pickup truck. I don't need a bumper sticker of Calvin pissing on the Chevy bow tie. It's like they're guys who drive chevys. They're American V8s. They're nice trucks. And Ford makes a nice truck, too. Totally fine Army Navy game. Don't need you guys fighting. We're on the same team. We're all fighting for the flag. So I don't get the feuds.

[Alicia Krause]

I'm American, man. I like to argue. I like to hate the other side.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Alicia Krause]

That's how I am.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All that being said, if you support Peter Dinklage, death to you. Death to you.

[Alicia Krause]

See, I'm on your team.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Let's start a feud. Smash that guy. Me and Dinklage.

[Alicia Krause]

I see you, Dinklage in the street. You better turn around.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's right. You can only be a fan of one of us.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Alicia Krause]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Dinklage Williams. Dinklage is weird. I was thinking about. It's a. It's an unfortunate name for a short guy. Dinklage.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Dink.

[Adam Carolla]

But also for an actor. Gene Hackman was a bad name because you go, that guy's a hat. You know, like Hackman sounds like you're making fun of. He's a horrible actor. Yeah. You know, Hackman.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Couldn't act his way out of paper bag. And it's a little buddy Dinklage with him.

[Alicia Krause]

Dude, it does sound like, you know, denigrating term. Like, you know, like you call him a ding.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. He's Dinky.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Racist against dwarves.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Dinky in the brain.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, sorry. We have Graham Bessinger sitting down with Leno.

[Alicia Krause]

Oh, great.

[Adam Carolla]

That stuff I remember. Yeah. You know, everybody makes a big deal. You know, when Kimmel came on my show and humiliated me in my own show, I let it happen. I didn't edit Was my mistake. I trusted somebody. I went. I made a mistake. Okay. I should pay the price. And it's fine. It's fine. I mean, we could have edited out of the show. Why didn't you? Well, because it happened. It's real. It happened. It's my mistake. That's how you learn. Did you view it as a mistake, or is that good tv? That. Well, it's not good TV for me because it just. It started a whole thing that continues to this day. Really. But it's okay. It's all right. I mean, I got, you know, he's a comic. You do what you got to do. Okay. I mean, I wouldn't have done it, but that's okay. That's all right. It's okay.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I love the flex of doing an interview in your own warehouse surrounded by Bugattis.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That is like, I'm never like. It's like, yeah, you know, I made a mistake, but here's my bugatti. That's worth $4 million.

[Alicia Krause]

Some of my other mistakes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. It's like, obviously I've done a few things right in my life, and. But, but see, and. But good. On Leno, there's a. There's actually a really great lesson there in that he did not edit it.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah, whatever. You know what I mean? Man up. No big deal. You made a mistake, and it's a joke. It's a joke.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's a joke, and it's good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, I don't even know if he made the mistake. He got ambushed a little bit, and that. It just is what it is.

[Alicia Krause]

Well, you're gonna have Kim Wall. You're gonna have a wordsmith on funny. Dude. He's gonna say some funny shit at you, especially if you. You went through the whole Conan O'Brien debacle.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, you're a part of pop culture at that point.

[Alicia Krause]

Absolutely.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Late night comedians comment on pop culture.

[Alicia Krause]

I mean, isn't that exactly what Jay Leonard did every night, all the time?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. So he. It's weird to be team both sides, but, yeah, both guys did the right thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't like Conan in this whole mix. What? I don't know, man.

[Alicia Krause]

I'm here.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You didn't like Conan? No.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you what. Well, what did he do wrong? Well, he fucking. And he lied to me once.

[Alicia Krause]

Oh, shit. Okay, give us the dirt.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What did he lie about? What did he lie to you about? He's kind of a puss because Conan's my dude. So how did Conan hurt you?

[Adam Carolla]

I'LL tell you how. Well, first things first. Leno was number one in the slot, and he made his promise, but he was number one. The network probably went, sorry, we're giving him another three years, like, until he stops being number one. And Conan's big argument is, I always wanted that slot, or I always wanted me, but it'd be like me saying, I always want to play center field for the. The Dodgers. Like, all right, that's what you want, but you don't always get what you want. No, it was a very unique situation with Conan and evolve, Kimmel, that'll probably never happen in the annals of late night TV ever again. Okay, I did Conan once alone. I did Conan, and I brought the heat, and I was getting into it with the audience and stuff like that. And Conan did a thing that always drives me nuts that he does sometimes, where he sort of slid his chair back and went like, I don't know. You know, I'm not. I hate when other comedians go, I don't know. You know, I like a yes, and. But anyway, he did a yeah, because I was being a little controversial. It was fine. But I think I got. I rattled their cage a little bit. So then before that, I had done the show with Dr. Drew when Loveline was a hot property. We came on Conan as a team. Then several years after that, probably about three years, two. Three years after Drew and I had done the show, Kimmel and I were in New York for the Hugh Hefner roast on Comedy Central. Back when you were just arguing over boy bands. We were fucking.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You were working.

[Adam Carolla]

We were working, and we were in New York. And it was probably. It was scheduled for about 10 days to two weeks after 9 11.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes. This is the roast where Gilbert Gottfried. Gilbert Gottfried did the Aristocrats joke.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, it is.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

After telling 911 jokes and bombing, he went, fuck it. I'm doing the Aristocrats joke.

[Adam Carolla]

That is correct.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Great moment in comedy.

[Adam Carolla]

That is correct.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Great moment in comedy.

[Adam Carolla]

I was on stage having to pee during that. Cause that's what you have to do. Cause it's four hours, I realize I'm peeing a drink.

[Alicia Krause]

What roast was it?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The Roast of Hugh Hefner?

[Adam Carolla]

The Roast of Hugh Hefner.

[Alicia Krause]

Of course.

[Adam Carolla]

So we were in town. But late night shows, any shows were having real troubles with bookings because no one was getting on a plane and going to New York while the buildings were still smoldering. You know, people are like, I'm not going fucking near an airplane, and I'm not going near New York City. Jimmy and I were like, look, we're doing the roast. We're committed to doing the roast. They already bought the tickets. Jimmy said, we're sitting in first class. And he was sitting on the aisle. And he goes, my fucking head's gonna be on a swivel. I see anyone coming down this walkway, anyone close to anything that looks like a terrorist. I'm fucking on top of that guy. I go, okay, good. Thought we were taxiing. He was fucking asleep. He was snoring. Completely gone. We even got off the ground.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Never felt safe.

[Adam Carolla]

He was fucking asleep.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Never felt safe.

[Adam Carolla]

So we were in New York, and they couldn't get people to come to New York, so the late night shows were struggling. So they called Jimmy, who was, you know, popular. Ish. But not like a big celebrity or anything.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

When Ben Stein's money Jimmy, probably Ben Stein's money Jimmy?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Yeah. I don't know. You gotta look and see what year?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, 01 man show, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, man show was going okay. So they called him and we were walking through Manhattan and they said, hey, kind of last minute, you want to come on Conan tonight and do a segment? And Jimmy and I were walking and he was on his phone, and he kind of looked at me and he goes, yeah, I'll do it if me and Adam can do it together. Cause it's just easier. You don't have to prep as hard. We'll both be funny.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's last minute. You have something to bounce your stuff off of.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. And then they go, oh, we don't do teams. We don't do pairs. We just do individuals. Because Conan didn't like it the last time I was on the show, cutting it up with the audience members. But I then said, I have done the show as a team, and I may be the only person around who's done the show as a team, but with another team, and this is my second team, so this is bullshit. You do do the shows with teams. Because me and Dr. Drew from the loveline were on, you know, two years earlier. So I knew they didn't want me on the show. They probably could just went, fuck, Adam, we want you. But they didn't. They just said, we don't do teams. And then Jimmy said, well, then I'm not doing it. And I think. I think that's how that story played out. But it was. I found it interesting from a statistical standpoint when you said to Jimmy, we don't do teams, which sounded like a pretty easy out, like a Hollywood out. Sure. The fact that that guy would have done the show, Your show, with another team partner earlier is astronomical right now.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, the odds are insane that that happened. Now, do you look at this as maybe a producer or a booker or are you going like. Cause a lot of times I literally just had this happen to me where a manager said, oh, no, Brad's not going to do that show. And then the comic reached out to me and I was like, yeah, of course I'll do that show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I got.

[Alicia Krause]

Hey, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, Brad, you need to bury the hatchet between Conan and.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you're right. No, you know what? I gotta tell you, it's something other than this.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yeah, Second story.

[Alicia Krause]

He slept with his wife.

[Adam Carolla]

There's this super hot blonde chick from way back in the day, was in my improv troupe. Smoking hot. I had it bad for her, and I was back at her apartment with her, and I was trying to get busy with her and she was telling me. She goes, oh, I used to date Conan, but maybe he was a writer for the Simpsons or something. It wasn't TV Conan or whatever. It was just early. This could have been 91.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, that's like fresh out of Harvard Conan.

[Adam Carolla]

And she's like, I really liked him, but we were starting to get into it and he just, like, stopped and started crying and said he missed his girlfriend or something. I was like, what the fuck? She was so hot. I couldn't believe it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He had a heart.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, I know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Last minute change of hearts.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. And it made me angry at that point. I got angry.

[Alicia Krause]

You lost your heart? Heart on.

[Adam Carolla]

She was so hot. I just couldn't believe he did that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So he was a good guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You couldn't believe that he was faithful. I.

[Adam Carolla]

It was more that he missed his old girlfriend. I think that. That. That outraged me. Okay. And, you know, and then we ended up here. You know what I mean? So maybe it's not that much. I don't like it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Blood feud. Long last feud.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, one more. Mayhem.

[Alicia Krause]

All we got.

[Adam Carolla]

One more.

[Alicia Krause]

Let's go with this one. Who wins in a fight between 100 men and one gorilla?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I've seen this.

[Alicia Krause]

The hypothetical question sparks discourse.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't like it because they do it like the stupid karate movies where Bruce Lee's there and there's 15 guards and one at a time. They just going at a time.

[Alicia Krause]

You know what I mean?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No shot.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, everybody here's a shot.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah, everybody. Because I figure if you look, it's Physics, right? The muscles can only fire so much. If we let this guy go in, wear him out. Oh, he's dead. We sent another guy in. I. I think, well, who's getting the.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Third guy to go in after he saw the gorilla, you know, flick his head off of his body?

[Alicia Krause]

I need some brave men on this task. Okay? This is not for the week of heart, but we're going to get him after about. I say 26, throw 26 linebackers at him.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, my thing, because I saw the hypothetical and my first thing is, okay, does the gorilla know it's in a fight? Because if the gorilla knows it's in a fight, no chance in hell. Now. And Also, is it 100 Mayhem Millers?

[Alicia Krause]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Is it 100? You know me, Brad Williams, little difference. But also. And do, do the humans have the weapons? Because like no weapons. Well, if you're coming in and you punch a grill in the face and it just looks at you after it just took your best shot, you're. Oh shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm just saying.

[Alicia Krause]

You're gonna use a long jab. Okay, Brad? Use a long jab.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right?

[Alicia Krause]

I want you to dance.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

His arms are seven feet long.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah, you gotta slip that one and then come up underneath.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You slip a gorilla arm.

[Alicia Krause]

I'm telling you, front headlock. You got it, bro. You got this. Get in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone just needs to go once, right?

[Alicia Krause]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the way to do it.

[Alicia Krause]

I mean, that's the strategy.

[Adam Carolla]

Prison break.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm team gorilla. Because the gorilla gorillas can remove your head from your body body in a second and a half.

[Alicia Krause]

Just yank your arm out of socket. You're done.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Just do that. Like, like accidentally give you a hug and crush you. And I think the spirits of the hundred men will be broken when they see a. Like a guy just split in half and the gorilla just pulls them apart and they're like, I'm not doing that one again.

[Alicia Krause]

Gorillas go for the genitals.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That too.

[Alicia Krause]

So just bear that in mind. They immediately go to the weak points. They'll bite your face off, remove your ears, and now you're bleeding out.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Cuz I cuz I cuz I was debating with a friend of mine, he's like, well, you have like 20 guys go for the eyes. And then like they're just going for the eyes. I'm like, great, so now you have a gorilla who's blind, who's got the strength of 50 dudes just swinging randomly. You have no shot. I'M team gorilla. A hundred percent no shot.

[Alicia Krause]

I say rear naked joke.

[Adam Carolla]

I think of a hundred guys all do it at once. The hundred guys will get it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No shot. That's like. That's like saying, all right, if. If I had if me happy, sleepy, dopey. If we all attacked mayhem, we'd have a shot because there's seven of us. No, we have no shot. You would get rid of us so quickly.

[Alicia Krause]

But think about how I murdered Bashful and Doc.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It would all my dreams.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, like, I was. I was watching a video of like, I think it was ants going at a horn. Okay, like the hornet would just pick them off, pick them off. But at some point, 25 ants, that's all one at the hornet at once and took the hornet down.

[Alicia Krause]

It's science because your, you know, body works on sugar. Eventually the monkey sugar will be worn out, you know, and it's. Oh, now he's tired. Now.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

If it's 100 Spartans that have. Death isn't is the greatest honor in life is to be killed in battle.

[Alicia Krause]

Maybe witness me, I just take a shot of whiskey and run right at him.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'll give you have a shot there. But I'm saying when the. When the 97 guys see the first three guys get drawn and quartered and all their limbs taken out of their body, they're a little hesitant to jump in the frame.

[Adam Carolla]

You're doing it like waves. Like, first three. I don't mean first three. I mean everybody all.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, there's only so much surface area. You literally can't have a hundred people getting in punches at the same time.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, I think it's all about grabbing.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah, I think it's about grabbing.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's about grab. Every show up and grab.

[Alicia Krause]

Look, it's us three going in the first wave, all right? I'm like, look, Brad, you're gonna dance.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Distract them.

[Alicia Krause]

Okay, Corolla, I need you to double leg tackle this guy. I'm gonna jump on its back and we're gonna handle this in the first wave.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm gonna be like, brad, you need to dress up like a hot lady gorilla. I've seen Bugs Bunny.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We've seen Hanna Barbera. We know how this works.

[Adam Carolla]

All right? Leisha Kraus is out there. She writes op EDS for the Washington Examiner. And we'll take a break. I'll speak to her. Oh, and I'll give you all your plugs at the end of the show. Brad, good job, bud.

[Alicia Krause]

Awesome.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Right after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla show. Betonline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for all sports betting action. Baseball season's in full swing. See what I did there? I said swing when I said baseball. And we're into the home stretch. The NBA and NFL. I should say NHL playoffs. NFL's coming up sooner than you think as well. Betonline has more ways to stay in on the action with the latest odds, news and scores. Even live in game betting. While the games are going and being played with the largest selection of odds on everything from MLB, NHL and UFC. Professional golf, BETOnline remains the number one online source for all your sports wagering info. In between games, head on over to Betonline's casino with all the top Vegas style games, including poker and live casino bet online. The game starts here. Simply safe. Well, you want to feel safe at home. I mean, that's really kind of the definition of home. Feeling safe. Traditional security systems only take action after someone has already broken in, in which case you will not feel safe. Someone's in your house, it's too late. By then. Simplisafe is setting the new standard in home security. Simplisafe's active guard outdoor protection can help prevent break ins before they happen with AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents. Well, they'll monitor your property and they will detect if there's any suspicious activity. Monitoring plans start affordably at around a buck a day. Love these guys. Longtime sponsors. We all use them here. It's SimpliSafe. Right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

You can get 50% off your new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring and your first month [e-mail] Adam. Just head to simplisafe.com Adam to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this year. Keep your home, your family and your peace of mind protected with Simplisafe. There's no safe like Simplisafe. It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Adam, this is Sergio. I'm one of your gay listeners, longtime listener. I was just listening to your Don Lemon story story and it reminded me I was working at the TV station in my younger years. I was standing over a cubicle and the general manager, who is, you know, total butch straight guy, walked by. And as he walked by, he smacked my ass. And I wasn't offended. I wasn't like, oh my God. My first thought was like, finally, I've been accepted into the boys club. Anyways, I thought I'd Share.

[Dawson]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

Alicia Krause is in studio. She's a commentator, she's a speaker, she's a writer. I know her from hosting her morning answer radio show out here on seven. I should say 8:70. The answer with young Ben Shapiro back in the day.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And Brian Whitman.

[Brad Williams]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brad Williams]

The lovable liberal. Did that for four years.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I did mornings for close to four years. It's an experience, isn't it?

[Brad Williams]

I really loved it. So my background was like conservative media for a really long time. I produced Sean Hannity radio show for seven years and then moved out to LA to do the morning show with Ben and Brian. And I like the vibe of a morning radio show on like conservative talk because it was such a mix of cultural, pop culture, faith politics, all of the things I like to talk about. And then because it was multiple people, it was really fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I know Ben well, I know Brian well. Both really good at what they do. Both smart guys, bright guys. I mean the tough part about holding up the progressive side of the argument, it was pretty easily done when Bill Clinton was in office. Cuz you're just making sort of common sense, normal, close to middle of the road arguments about things now. You have to be clinically insane to back up this shit that they're talking about. And so it puts these people in these weird positions like, oh, they took a gang banger and they, they took him to El Salvador who beats his wife. I guess we gotta go over there and try to get him out. It's like, well you do, if that's your party.

[Brad Williams]

And you know what's interesting? I think that maybe that's why progressive media now obviously you have some left leaning podcasts now that are pretty successful. I think you could argue that even mainstream podcasts, like I'm a fan of like the armchair umbrella. Right. But clearly it comes with a liberal tint. But I think that actually most talk radio, most news type podcasts tend to do better when they're libertarian or conservative because it just sounds so much more factual or because I think that we have the cognitive ability to question our own side that maybe hardcore left leaning people don't. But.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I, I think just speaking for myself, I'll just sort of take stuff case by case.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And if you want to talk about the border, I'll take it. That'll be one case. That'll be one issue. And if you want to talk about transgender or men and women's sports or that'll be a second one. You want to talk about the homeless situation, that'll be a third one. But about taxation, that'll be, you know, I'll just take it.

[Brad Williams]

You can go down the line.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But there may be things that I could differ with, such as possibly gay marriage or something, where I would go, I'm pro gay marriage or I don't care. I'm not really gonna argue with someone who wants to get married who's gay one way or the other. And there are other subjects that I don't feel is strongly about. But the good news is, like I always say, that's my white privilege. I don't have to defend all white people. I'll just pick and choose the ones I like. You know, Gavin Newsom's white. He's 6 foot 2 and he's heterosexual and he's my age, but he's a douchebag and I don't fucking like it. So that's, that's how I feel. But I don't go, oh, that guy's like, me, Like, I don't have to defend the kid who stabbed the other kid or Shador Sanders or whatever, but if you're black, you're like, I gotta go do this now, or George Floyd or something. I don't have to. That guy, George Floyd, the white version of George Floyd. If he said to me, he's dead, I'm going, okay, good. I don't care. He's a drug addict, Whatever. I don't care.

[Brad Williams]

You're like, glad I don't have to defend George Floyd.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm glad I don't have to make an argument for the white version of George Floyd. That's what I'm saying. And so you people, and Trump is. He's playing you now because he's making you defend Nicaraguan gang bangers.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. Ben said this week on his show, actually, and it was so well put, he was like, Trump isn't doing that hot in the polling. But the gift to Trump is that his enemies, you know, the Democratic Party and modern day leftists are even polling worse than he is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brad Williams]

Because of the things that they are doubling down on. Like a gang member who beat his wife being deported matters to them more than, oh, did you know that there's also a military veteran that we just found out like a week ago is in prison, wrongfully, in El Salvador.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brad Williams]

Or in Venezuela.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brad Williams]

And it's like, where are the congress people from his home state of Washington on the Democratic side that are fighting for his release.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Trump didn't imprison him, so they don't care.

[Brad Williams]

Of course not.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it's not that, but the thing I was saying on Jesse Waters the other week was I said if Trump took a picture of himself cuddling up to a Labrador puppy, then Democrats would film themselves kicking Labrador puppies and put it up on the Internet. And it's like he's hustling you, he's baiting you, he's getting you to do stuff that people don't. People like Labrador puppies.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And now you've taken a stand against Labrador puppies.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is what he's been doing the whole time. And I don't think somebody has to say to those people, look, we're here to have good policies that help the country not do a knee jerk reaction to the opposite of whatever Elon says.

[Brad Williams]

And this is why I say, if I was a Democratic operative, I would be telling them, lean into the John Fettermans and away from the AOCs. I get that she and Bernie were just in downtown LA where a lot of the people were cheering the murder of a health executive CEO and crying about illegal terrorists being deported. I get that there's some element of that progressive thing that emotionally appeals to people, specifically the younger generation. But broadly, I think you have a lot of the country that's kind of in the middle and the John Fetterman's of the world are better look than the radical AOC kind of Bernie types. And I think that's why you have the worst governor on the face of the planet that you called a douchebag or an asshole. I think he's both. Gavin Newsom, doing his little podcast, trying to pretend to be a moderate because he knows that in order to run for president under the Democratic Party ticket, he needs to try to present himself like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's pretending to be sane despite.

[Brad Williams]

Everything he's done to destroy our state.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But I don't think it's gonna work. But look, Kamala Harris had to pretend to be sane so she could get votes six months ago. I mean, she was like, yeah, I came out against fracking, but I never meant that. And I came out for transing prisoners, illegal prisoners in the penal system. But I didn't mean any of that. She had to just walk back, all of her.

[Brad Williams]

Do you think she's gonna run for governor?

[Adam Carolla]

I think, well, there's a couple things. These people don't possess other skills, you know what I mean?

[Brad Williams]

Other than raising money and running For a hobby.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

They're not cobblers or welders or roofers. They don't have a business to get back to, which is kind of scary. It's sort of like, this is what I do, you know, I wish they were super successful at running a business, a tech company or something. And at some point they would go, you know, And I'm just going back to running my tech company or my clothing line or whatever it is. They don't do anything. So this is what they do. I mean, they don't even retire. They just. Oh, yeah. Guy's 87 years old, could barely understand him. And he's like, you know? And they're like, I. Is there some point, Maxine Waters, where you just take a folding chair and put it on a porch and go, okay, I want some sweet tea?

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. Go to Florida and go golfing and fly fishing and enjoy retirement, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brad Williams]

Enjoy the fruits of your labor instead of ruining everybody else.

[Adam Carolla]

So I don't. So I think Kamala Harris will be like, maxine Waters. Like, it'll be 40 years from now. She'll be 100 years old and just complaining about Trump's, you know, junior or something. Barron, Trump's gotta be stopped. You know, or something. That they don't do anything. So that. That's a scary. That's scary right there, right? So it's like, Elon Musk does stuff.

[Brad Williams]

David Sacks, right.

[Adam Carolla]

They do stuff. So he's like, all right, I'm gonna do this Doge thing for a while, but then at some point, I gotta go run Neuralink or SpaceX. So I gotta get back to Tesla.

[Brad Williams]

I gotta build a resort on Mars.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I gotta go do that. Kamala Harris raises money, wastes money, says nothing, gets more money, throws away more money, speaks more gibberish. Okay. And lies. So that's what she does. And then sits down with interviews, like softball interviews in friendly places that mean nothing.

[Brad Williams]

That's edited for her.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So I don't suspect she's going anywhere because she doesn't have a calling.

[Brad Williams]

Well, she would say that her calling is to run for governor after she lost running for President of the United States.

[Adam Carolla]

So maybe she'll fuck up California even more. I don't know. It sounds incomprehensible, but, no, these people don't do anything.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, that's the thing that's crazy, is like. Like, you have Antonio Villaragosa. The guy runs. Is the mayor of Los Angeles for 8 years or 12 years or something. And then they get out of office. And they just go, I don't do anything. Like, you just ran seventh largest economy in the world. You know, there's nowhere you're not sought after.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. No one in the private sector is, like, giving him a ring to say, hey, come help us rebuild this company.

[Adam Carolla]

Where are the head hunters? You know what I mean? Like, Nabisco's really slipped down and stopped stock for a while. We need a mind like yours, Antonio Villaragoza. No, they don't even have anywhere to go. They do the same thing Joe Biden's gonna do. What's Joe Biden gonna do? Try to get money talking.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, they make so much money. I know, but they, like former politicians, especially former presidents, make so much money on the book market speaker circuit. Or you could do the Obama thing and go have a lucrative deal at Netflix creating content.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Or you could get on some sort of. Of exploratory committee of the Harvard faculty or something.

[Brad Williams]

They're often on. I mean, how many boards is Al Gore on? Like, paid positions on boards for publicly traded companies.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But they still do nothing.

[Brad Williams]

They get paid a lot of money to sit on the board.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. What was Hunter Biden's field of expertise? Natural gas energy or hookers and coke?

[Brad Williams]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Hunter Biden is. He does nothing. He has no field of expertise, but his job is to get paid. That's what he does. So he travels around, trades his name, and gets paid. I don't really like that.

[Brad Williams]

I like people that actually work because you come from a background of having actually had to work.

[Adam Carolla]

Rick Caruso ran for mayor, and when he didn't win, he went back to.

[Brad Williams]

Developer and helping the city more than Bass does every single day.

[Adam Carolla]

Not just I do nothing. I have no skill. We have way too many of these.

[Brad Williams]

I hope that guy runs again for mayor.

[Adam Carolla]

It'd be nice, wouldn't it?

[Brad Williams]

I. I mean, if every single, like, public bathroom in the city could look like the Glendale Americana or the Grove bathrooms. They have, like, nursing mother spaces. They have, like, diaper changing stations with, like, free diapers and whites.

[Adam Carolla]

There's, like, graffiti everywhere. Syringes.

[Brad Williams]

Exactly. Like, it's a safe place to go. My kids can dance to the, you know, Frank Sinatra music and throw pennies in the fountain. It's wonderful.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. We don't get it in Los Angeles. In California, we don't get it.

[Brad Williams]

I think that there is, though, broadly, I'm one of those stay and fight people. I think that there's a lot more common sense and normalcy here than I think some people on the right side of the aisle give Californians credit for.

[Adam Carolla]

True.

[Brad Williams]

I think that when you have San Francisco and Los Angeles choosing the more hardlined district attorneys, that's a huge win. I think when you, even though there's a Democratic super majority, there's not as many radical lefties in Sacramento as there used to be. There's a lot more moderate Democrats. I think that we have to kind of like use an approach of what's going to work for people here and push for viable candidates that can implement those changes for the better.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. So op ed, which you write for the Washington examiner, what is the process of an op ed for you?

[Brad Williams]

For me, so typically when I give speeches it's like 3,000 words. So it's really hard for me to.

[Adam Carolla]

How long is a 3,000 word speech?

[Brad Williams]

So when I used to write scripts for Prageru prageru videos, around five minutes. And that's about 700 words. And so then. So like roughly 25 to 30 minutes. Yeah, it depends. I mean, I'll insert, I don't actually write out 3,000 words all the time. I, you know, use data that I quote and then I use, you know, insert story here kind of thing. Obviously I like to talk, so it, for me, it's actually when I write an op ed, I feel like I really have to work to pare down all of my thoughts and arguments. But it's a good brain challenge for me.

[Adam Carolla]

How do you come up with the subject?

[Brad Williams]

I typically send. So my, my editor over there, Madeline, is amazing. And I just like on a Monday or Tuesday, based on what fired me up over the weekend or what I kind of heard about in my mom group or church group or what people are talking about, buzzing about online. I send her a couple of pitches and she's like, yep, do this one because nobody else is writing about it. And then I write it out usually in like a day, and then send it to her and usually don't get too many changes back. So I guess that's a good thing.

[Adam Carolla]

What's a subject that we may be surprised about which sparked outrage or got the most feedback on a subject you've written about that maybe you thought was sort of innocuous actually.

[Brad Williams]

The baby bonus. So last week the Trump administration, the president briefly commented that, yes, this is true because, because obviously Elon cares about creating a lot of babies even if he's not around to father them. And we have a birth shortage here in the United States. I'm Doing my part. I have four kids. I'm trying. Fourth and final. I'm done. But the Trump administration was like, considering these options of do we give more Fulbright scholarship money to single moms or married women with and without children? Do we provide this $5,000 bonus? And I was of the mindset of, like, okay, it's a start, but it's not enough. And people on the left got pissed at me, and then people on the right got pissed at me. So I was kind of surprised by that.

[Adam Carolla]

Why people on the right get pissed?

[Brad Williams]

Because I was going after their man. Like I was saying, hey, Trump, this is kind of out of touch. Like, choose. By the way, apparently since then, I've learned that all of the dudes on the committee to investigate how to get women to have more than 1.2 babies or whatever women are now having in the United States. States are dudes. Like middle aged white dudes. And I'm like, maybe, just maybe you should have like a conservative mom on that panel or an educator or a small business owner or somebody who's built something that can be like, this is what moms need. This is what the economy says. This is the school situation broadly in the United States. This is the health care situation in the United States. Laying all out, like, laying out all of these things that aren't these kind of like economist nerd types that just live and work in the Beltway.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brad Williams]

And I thought that that was just common sense, but apparently it pissed off both sides.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I guess you're doing your job on both sides, sir.

[Brad Williams]

I once had a radio program director tell me that, like, if they're. If you're not getting any hate mail, then you're not doing something. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What time did you guys go on? Was it 6:00am 6 to 9:00am Oh, 6 to 9.

[Brad Williams]

It was perfect.

[Adam Carolla]

That is perfect. I did 6 to 10, and 6 to 10's like one hour too long.

[Brad Williams]

It's a little sluggish. Like, once you hit that, it's just.

[Adam Carolla]

Three hours is enough if you can't get it done in three hours.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So six to nine was good.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, I liked it.

[Adam Carolla]

I remember at the time hearing Ben on that show, and I just thought to myself, oh, he's moving on to something he's got. This kid's got it. And he's not gonna be long for the morning radio show.

[Brad Williams]

And he was not.

[Adam Carolla]

And I like the format. I love to listen to all you, but I remember thinking like, oh, this kid's a Cracker Jack. He was I don't know. He was in his 30s, right? 20s?

[Brad Williams]

Oh, I think so. No, we were both in our 20s. He's a year older than me, and he just hit 40. So. Yeah, that was 2013. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, right, right.

[Brad Williams]

I came in 2013. I was pregnant with my first. That's how I came. Keep it in track in my mind.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. Yeah, sure. And Whitman is colorful.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And has issues, but I like him.

[Brad Williams]

He was the lovable liberal. Like, so a small world. It was like all of these worlds colliding. When I produced Hannity Radio years ago in New York, I would book Whitman to do impersonations of, like, Bill Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, everybody in politics on Sean's show. So I was familiar with him when I got the call to come out and audition with him, and he was like, I think the time I pissed him off the most when he was like, as a lovable liberal, making the argument on Women's Day or International Women's Day, equal pay for equal work. And I was like, great, You've bragged to me about how your salary is more than mine. Can I have some then? Well, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have way more experience. I have all of this. I have all of that. And I'm like, you're literally making the conservative case for how, you know, equal pay for equal work is not a thing. Because I am greener.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brad Williams]

You. You have 30 years of on air experience. You're a professional comedian and impersonator, like, all of these things. And that was one of my favorite moments. And that's why the show is a lot of fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Hannity seems like a very hardworking person, a thousand percent. And I, you know, there's people where I kind of go, that guy's really gifted, and then that guy's just gonna outwork everybody. And then once in a while, you get gifted people that are also super hardworking, which is. That's a real formidable combination. Hannity I have in the hard working with ability. You have to have ability. But I'm like, I think that guy's just gonna outwork everybody.

[Brad Williams]

I don't know that he will ever retire. And I think something that is unique about Sean is that that he has been able to hold space very successfully in talk radio and cable news, and not many people can do that. A lot of people are like cable news people or talk radio people, but to be both and formidable and in prime time and consistent ratings for all of those years that he's been doing it, you're right. He I saw him. He's also a college dropout like me, and I just saw him read profusely. And I think that something that Sean gets too. And the beauty of, like, radio and podcasting is he was really in tune with his audience. And even though he was a guy from Long island, you know, he worked construction, he bartended, he came from nothing. And he had an ability to go to Grand Rapids or Dallas Fort Worth or Reno, Nevada, and really be in touch with his audience. And that kept him really humble and really real and in tune with, like, what the average American person was going through.

[Adam Carolla]

When did he tape his show? Every day. And where does he tape his show?

[Brad Williams]

I don't know now. So I haven't. I stopped working with him. I worked with him from 2004 to 2012, but we were at WABC at 2 Pen Plaza with, like. Yeah. So 17th floor of 2 Penn Plaza.

[Adam Carolla]

What time did it start?

[Brad Williams]

It was 3 to 6pm So I would go into the office, like 9. 9 to 6ish were my hours. Yeah, 3 to 6pm so it was drive time.

[Adam Carolla]

That is a good. That is a good hour job, too. Three to six.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. Yeah, it was great.

[Adam Carolla]

Radio's weird because if you get the right slot, it can be the greatest.

[Brad Williams]

You want to keep it for a really long time.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I mean, I think. Trying to think maybe the best slot is. I don't know what afternoon drive is. Well, the best slots probably, like, just work at noon to 3.

[Brad Williams]

Well, that's what Rush did for years.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But usually that slot doesn't pay as well unless you're rushing. Unless you're Rush Limbaugh. But if you really think you work noon to three.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

There's nothing you can't do the night before that you can't rally for to get in that morning. Because, I mean, I don't care how hard you park. I don't care what band's in town. I don't care how much drinking you did. I don't care how much partying you did. I don't care if you went backstage after the show and hung out. You can still get up at 11am that's true. You'll make it. You'll make it. And if you knock off at three, there's no dinner party. There's no movie premiere. There's no anything that you'll ever miss. There's no Lakers playoff game. There's no nothing. Yeah, that noon to three. There's nothing you'll ever miss. And you'll never be hungover.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, you can still make your kids, like, you know, school play, maybe drop off in the morning. See difference between men and women right here.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like a more fun stuff.

[Brad Williams]

You're like, more the fun, fun stuff. I'm like the practical mom stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

The thing about the morning show is. Oh, man. You'd get up at 4:35. I don't know.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, I would get up at like, 4:45, be out the door at 5, and be in the studio at 5:15.

[Adam Carolla]

So you were one of those 15 minutes, and I'm out.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, I did not look pretty. Yeah, but this is before they started putting cameras in studios.

[Adam Carolla]

I've shifted my mindset like I used to be. What time's the flight? 7:00am what time I gonna be on the road? 6:00am all right, set my alarm for 5:55. I'm up, I'm gone. You know, as I get older, I'm like, you know what? I want a cup of coffee. I just don't want to get up and run. Like, I don't care if I'm not getting any sleep. That 15 minutes not gonna do me any good.

[Brad Williams]

The thing I loved about that time slot, too, is that it wasn't in a. In and of itself, like an adrenaline rush. Like, there's an adrenaline rush or like. Like excitement that you get or you hope there is. Like, when you're going into work and that kind of you. You needed to. I always thought of it as a huge responsibility of people are waking up to our voices, and if I go in, I'm like, this is the morning answer.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brad Williams]

You know, and I wanted to have a level of energy that would excite people to set their alarms to in the morning or, you know, slugging through LA traffic or IE traffic or Orange county traffic that they could tune into us and be. Hopefully be educated and entertained and, you know, give them a jolt of energy in the morning.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. There's no traffic on the way in.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

There's usually not much on the way out. Hang around and do a little show. Prep for the next record.

[Brad Williams]

Record some, you know, ads.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Talk to the sales department, have a meeting with the client. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Radio. So it's such a weird, bygone era.

[Brad Williams]

I know, but I feel like, in a way, not in a way. I feel like talk radio and radio in general has shifted to podcasting. I think that's why you see such a success in podcasting, because people like that audible medium where they feel like they can spend time with the host and the guest. It's not that three to five minute segment done.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, I get it. There's just something a little romantic about the old radio days and those mornings and those stations and those characters and that stuff. I don't know if it's ever going to be realized again.

[Brad Williams]

No, I mean, my generation is the last. I'm going to age myself. I'm 39, so I'm a grandma millennial. And I feel like me and my little sister who's 35 are like the last of kind of this era of understanding what radio was.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

Compared to now. Like, my kids, my Spotify didn't connect to my CarPlay the other day and they're 11, 7, 5 and 1, and my 5 year old's like, I put on K Rock or something and I make my children listen to classic rock. So they knew some of the songs on there. But she was like, what is this thing with these people talking? Mama.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brad Williams]

And I was like, that's called a commercial, baby girl. And she's like, why is there a commercial? Like, they didn't know what commercials were until we started watching football with them a year ago, you know, and it's just this bygone era of where I used to listen to Q102 in southeastern Oklahoma, where I'm from, and me and my best friend would have like the tape player and we'd record. Like, no, Scrubs would come on and we'd like hit record and then commercial break would come and you'd stop it and then like you two would come on, you'd hit record. Like, our children will never know that. I feel like millennials are kind of the last generation to see this drastic technology and media shift that, that a lot of younger people just don't get. Including the beauty of the old radio.

[Adam Carolla]

Days, I think there's something about delayed gratification that used to kind of keep us on the right path. And the instant gratification world is screwing up people and it's screwing up kids and it's screwing up younger people and we don't know exactly where it's going, but it's not going anywhere good. And I think sort of doing the analog dance with the tape, the mixtape and all that kind of stuff and just recording, you know, I used to record Dr. Demento, you know, and then listen to the tapes the next day and stuff like that. Yeah, there's something. There's something there.

[Brad Williams]

It's like tangible.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's analog. It's tangible. It's sort of physical. It's Kind of like rake your own front yard, you know, get a gardener, move into a condo. Let the, you know, let them do it. I'm like, do it yourself.

[Brad Williams]

We won't get our kids, even readers. Like, I want my kids to read a book. And I mean, we're kind of like joking about it, but I think we are touching on something that like Abigail Schreier, Jonathan Haidt and all these other people are talking about is like, actually, kids are less satisfied. They are more depressed and more anxious and feel more pressure on them. And where is that coming from? It's from this fricking thing.

[Adam Carolla]

The phone.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. And the Internet and everything that you have access to all the time. It's not healthy, even for me or you. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't have the thing that other people have where they go, oh, man, doom scrolling or something. I go, no, I'm just looking at stuff.

[Brad Williams]

But you have self control to put down Instagram.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how to do Instagram, I guess. So I guess the answer is. I guess the answer for me is, is everything for me falls under the heading of possible prep for something to talk about. So I look at stuff, I see some article on Twitter, some stupid thing or something, and I just go, oh, that could be something to talk about. So it's sort of like if you're in show business, then everything's a write off. You go out to dinner with your friend, you talk about nothing, but it's a write off. I went to dinner, I saw a movie.

[Brad Williams]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's a write off I talked about on the podcast. You know? You know, that kind of. It's that kind of thing. Like everything's a write off for me. So I don't feel as guilty about it as other people.

[Brad Williams]

It's a part of your job. You're constantly having to look at data and gathering data and like gauging what's interesting, what isn't.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, I have a paper here with like 30 subjects on it.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And a lot of it is just stuff I ran across on the Internet somewhere and just marked it. So. No. And also, I'm not as precariously wired as a lot of people where I can see a puppy that's been abused and go, oh, my days ruined because I saw this negative depiction.

[Brad Williams]

Because you understand that that's happening 10,000 times a day like all these other places. So you're not gonna let it draw you in or because you just are carrying.

[Adam Carolla]

It's both. It's like not having nerve Endings with, are you really going to weep for this puppy when there's so much going on all over the place constantly? Like, is that so? I mean, what I'm saying is either you have to not partake in it, or you have to build up some calluses and sort of be professional about it and move on. But you can't just sit there and let it wash over you.

[Brad Williams]

And I think that young people don't have the cognitive ability or the emotional ability to be like, I can't let this wash over me. And that's why we're seeing the negative effects of specifically smartphones and social media and more so with girls than boys.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yes. Well, girls care a lot more than guys.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah, we're a lot nicer to look at and we're a lot nicer to be around and we're more empathetic and. Yeah, so lots of cool things.

[Adam Carolla]

I think you got two out of three there with the empathetic. Empathetic in the looks. I don't be around, but yeah, I get where you're coming from. And guys feel very like they're less vulnerable because they're less open to it. So they're like, they're not. You know, when you have an open wound, it can get infected, but if you don't have an open wound, then you can rub some dirt on it and you'd probably be fine. And guys aren't open wounds. You know what I mean? We have less chance of being infected. You know what I mean? So I think there's. There's that. And I don't know what the answer is other than there is no answer. You better police yourself. Like, there is no. You are gonna get fat. There's a fast food place on every corner. It's open 24 7. It's filled with everything that's wrong.

[Brad Williams]

And fries are real good.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's free, it's almost free. So you're gonna get fat unless you police yourself, you know, and it's now. You just. We're now in the world. It's a world of abundance where you just have to police yourself.

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. And I think that. I don't know for my kids, though. Like, it's kind of my job at this stage.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. When you're five. Yeah. For sure.

[Brad Williams]

To police it for them.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What's the next op ed gonna be about?

[Brad Williams]

I don't know yet. What do you think it should be?

[Adam Carolla]

Police yourself.

[Brad Williams]

Police yourself.

[Adam Carolla]

Inspired from Adam Carollis rant.

[Brad Williams]

I did think there, and I need to do Some fact checking, but Bill Asali and Kevin Kiley and a few others were posting about there's a bill in the second committee up in Sacramento right now where they want to deregulate or it's no longer a felony to purchase a 16 or a 17 year old for sex.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Because their whole thing is just reverse engineer everything. Like, hey, there's too many black people in prison. Don't put black people in prison.

[Brad Williams]

And I just cannot fathom when I posted it on Instagram, even my liberal girlfriends were like, what in the fresh hell?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brad Williams]

And it's almost like this. Those Democrats. Are you okay? Like, are you okay? Democratic Party?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this is circling back to what we started with. If you've taken an allegiance to the Democratic Party, then you're going to have to defend stuff like this. And things are indefensible. And that's the issue.

[Brad Williams]

And that's why I don't like to take an allegiance to the Republican Party or take an allegiance to Donald Trump or, you know, Marco Rubio or DeSantis or anybody else. It's like my. Well, I think my allegiance is to God and my family. And I consider myself a very conservative person. But I'm not going to explain away or try to explain away, like, the stupidity of my side.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Because there's stuff's gonna come up, like tariffs or something, and you go, like, I don't want. I'm not. I don't know how to rationalize it or justify it or explain it away. So good. You don't have to because you're not married to it. Alicia Krause. Should we tell people to go to your website?

[Brad Williams]

Yeah. Or follow me on Instagram, which apparently you won't be doing because you don't do Instagram.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how to do it. I don't know. It's like Reddit. People go, you see that? Reddit. I go, no, I do not. I go, well, you're talking shit on Red. I go, I don't even. I don't know how to get there. And why would I.

[Brad Williams]

You're, like, not gonna do it.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I don't see what's in it for me. That's.

[Brad Williams]

Well, I'm gonna take a picture of us together and post it on Instagram and then tag you on Instagram and then you'll be forced to go to Instagram.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think I will. I do go to Instagram once a while and it wants something, and I don't know what it wants. I don't have what it wants, like a password, something.

[Brad Williams]

Oh, my gosh.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. Why? I mean, I don't know. I should, but I don't. But I don't care.

[Brad Williams]

I can try to show you.

[Adam Carolla]

I had my PIN number on my ATM card written on the back of my ATM card my whole life. And I'm like, what are you doing? I go, I don't lose my wallet, but I do forget my ATM PIN number. So I'm doing that.

[Brad Williams]

Until you actually, like, lose your card or leave it behind.

[Adam Carolla]

Never happened.

[Brad Williams]

Never.

[Adam Carolla]

No. No.

[Brad Williams]

Do you use, like, Apple Pay or Venmo or anything?

[Adam Carolla]

No. I don't know. Listen, I don't know how to do anything. I don't even know how to Uber. But what I do know how to do is make money and have other people do stuff.

[Brad Williams]

I mean, that's a great skill to have.

[Adam Carolla]

I made that lot in life. I made that decision a long time ago.

[Brad Williams]

Good for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I'm just gonna make money, let other people figure that stuff out.

[Brad Williams]

You should give me a class in doing that. And then I will teach you how to use Instagram.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't wanna know. Good to see you, Alicia.

[Brad Williams]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. All right, you can also go to, let's see, Port Charles, Florida V Sante's Italian Steakhouse. I'm going there. And theater. I'm going there Friday and Saturday doing two shows. Early shows I think are sold out, but the later shows still have some tickets for that. And then Melbourne, Florida at the auditorium doing stand up there on Sunday. So go to mcraw.com for all the live shows. I think my stand up special is out on YouTube. Dry Bar. Adam Corolla comes clean. That'll be good. And until next time, Saddam for Alicia and Brad and Mayhem saying Mahala, pick.

[Dawson]

Up a phone and leave us a voicemail at 888-694-1744 and get tickets to see the ace man who thanks [e-mail] foreign see what's screaming free all month long during Pluto TV's April ghouls get your heart pounding with nightmare fueling classics like Insidious and Bram Stoker's Dracula. Or test your nerves with haunting hits like Urban Legend and Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. Pluto TV has hundreds of channels and thousands of terrifying movies live and on demand. Download Pluto TV on all your favorite devices and start streaming now.