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Adam Carolla Show
Jay Mewes on Clerks, Kevin Smith & His Heroin Addiction + Man Caught Rubbing His Junk on Woman in Grocery Store
01:42:47
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- [00:00]
Adam Carolla
Well, in this episode, JMU's Jane Silent Bob. Yeah, that guy tells his story. Oh, boy. Man, you're going to learn things. We'll talk to him. Alicia Krause will do the news, and we'll do all that right after this. Thanks for tuning into the Adam Carolla Show. You can watch the full show on YouTube. Just search Adam Carolla show and hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also get the podcast wherever you like to listen. And for extra content, ad free episodes and more, you can head over to our substack and sign up today. Hey, this is Adam Caroll from the Adam Carolla Show. Well, if you care about predictions, then you care about props. And when March Madness tips off, the props tell the real story. From buzzer beaters to bracket busters, nobody does tournament props like Betonline. For years, Betonline has been the home of real sports betting, deep markets, sharp odds, and player props built for fans who watch games and study the matchups and anticipate the upsets. From the opening tip of the first four to the final cut of the nets, Betonline delivers live betting in instant updates and in game odds that move with every possession. And this March, the madness goes even bigger with the bet online $200,000 Bracket Madness contest, where the winner takes home $50,000 cash. Build your bracket, beat the field, and take your shot at one of the biggest tournament prizes in in sports betting. And when the games end, keep the action going with Bet Online casino and exclusive VIP rewards built for serious players. Brackets follow the hype. Bet Online sets the line. March Madness is here. Bet Online. The game starts here.
- [02:20]
J. Muse
From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Corolla Show. Adam's guest today, J. Muse. Plus the news with Alicia Krause. And now, Adam Carolla.
- [02:33]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate you get it on. Thanks for tuning in. J. Muse here. Jay Silent Bob, you know, the whole thing. Jay's. Jay's doing some podcasting, got a show, doing some stand. You're doing standup, right?
- [02:52]
J. Muse
That's correct, yes. That's Diary of a Manchild. I'm calling this segment, if you will, because it was amusing stories for about two and a half years, and then I switched up the material. Now it's called J's Diary of your Manchild. So.
- [03:07]
Adam Carolla
And it's interesting because I. I feel like I've been down that road myself, but I'm curious where you're coming from. With it, you have a name, people recognize you. So you can go out and like sell tickets, but you're not really traditional stand up. It's not like you have the process and the jokes and stuff. So you go out, you do a lot of improv and you tell stories and so on and so forth. And sometimes there's a visual component to it. But. But at some point I did the same thing, but then at some point I was like, I think you should just. I should just become a comedian, a standup comedian. And I'll just write jokes and I'll memorize them. And I'm not doing any crowd work, I'm not showing any pictures. I'm just gonna do jokes. And I don't know how far into the journey you are, but are you thinking that way?
- [03:59]
J. Muse
I am thinking that way. You know why? Because when I started, like, like, it all started because, you know, Kevin and I toured for a while together. And then a couple of the clubs we performed at were like, hey, ma' am, Jay, do you want to come back and do a show yourself? So when I started, I started at 45 minutes and I had this, you know, these stories that I put together to try to stretch out 45 minutes. And then all of a sudden I got invited to do like Skank Fest and Comedy Store. And they're like, you're doing 10 minutes. And it sounds weird, but all of a sudden I' I don't know if I can do 10 minutes. Like, I have this, this streamline of stories now. I got actually 10 minutes to try to make people laugh and tell jokes. And so far, so good. But I am now starting to think, like, hey, I'm getting more and more offers to do these 10 minutes, 12 minutes. And I really feel like I want to, like, really make sure I can punch in those jokes to make them laugh in those 10 minutes.
- [05:01]
Adam Carolla
So I know exactly what you're talking about. You put together this big act. I'm almost like a one man show. And then someone wants you to do a short thing and you don't have a bunch of jokes. You have stories and play. And now you need to develop those jokes. Because once you get those 10 minutes and all those jokes, then you can mix and match and plug them in and do whatever you want. So you start off, it's like New Jersey. It's like Kevin Smith's best friend. Neighborhood guys.
- [05:38]
J. Muse
Yes.
- [05:39]
Adam Carolla
What's the plan? Like, when you're a kid? I mean, Clerks, you were just like 20 when Clerks came out.
- [05:44]
J. Muse
I was 17. I was 17. Well, sorry. Well, time it came out. I was 19, so. Okay, I was almost 19. But we filmed it when I was 17.
- [05:54]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [05:55]
J. Muse
But Kevin and I grew up in the same neighborhood in New Jersey, Highlands, went to the same high school. And I didn't really hang out with him then, but he started working at this community center in our town where when I'd get off school, I would go there to play foosball. And there was a pool table and they'd give you snacks and stuff till my grandma got home from work. And so I started to get to know him there because he would read comics in the corner with Walt Flanagan and Brian Johnson. And they would be bagging and boarding comics. And I would be like, hey, man, what are you guys doing? They'd be like, get out of here, kid. And just so I'd leave them alone, they would give me stacks of comics. And I fell in love with comics. And that's sort of where we bonded over comic books. And then he asked me to start. He quit there, started working at Quickstop where Clerks was filmed. And he. I started helping him on Sundays with the newspaper. Sunday paper. And we started to get to know each other. And he's like, man, you have a really weird, funny sense of humor. I've been writing this script, so I'm writing this character based on you, for you. And I'm like, all right. But even then, I didn't plan on acting. I didn't want to act at that point. I graduated and was putting roofs on houses. I was a roofer. And then we filmed Clerks. Takes like three weeks. And then I go back to roofing. Like I was still roofing, the whole process. And. And then he was like. He went and did his thing. So we were friends. We weren't best friends until we got closer after, you know, we did our by Mallrats. We got pretty close. But he's like four years older than me. So when we met, he was 18. I was like a 13 year old kid.
- [07:32]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. I don't know where I was reading. Someone was reading about it like, they're best friends growing up.
- [07:38]
J. Muse
Well, we are now. I mean, and then we were. We became best friends. But in the beginning, you can't be
- [07:43]
Adam Carolla
when someone is four years older than you. I mean, when I was a kid, if someone was four years older and lived more than four miles from you, you could not be best friends with them because they were out of range and they were in high school and you were in the Eighth grade and whatever.
- [07:59]
J. Muse
Yeah. And they're driving around with their friends in cars. And I don't have a car. I have a bicycle. So, you know, we would hang out. We just weren't. But we became best friends. Was not best friends as much as. For years. It was like older brother, younger brother. Because I also was like the knucklehead who would, like, you know, he always makes a joke saying, there's that J. Muse kid. He threw a rock through the pharmacy window. Because I would get in trouble and be. I was very obnoxious and, you know, was just not. Not doing the right thing as a kid. So he would always be bailing me out.
- [08:37]
Adam Carolla
Your dad left and your mom was an addict.
- [08:39]
J. Muse
That's correct.
- [08:40]
Adam Carolla
That's tough.
- [08:41]
J. Muse
It was. I was in and out with my mom. She would get sober, I'd live with her for two years. She'd relapse, and then I'd go live with my grandma. And it was back and forth.
- [08:51]
Adam Carolla
What was her drug?
- [08:53]
J. Muse
Heroin. Heroin.
- [08:53]
Adam Carolla
Oh. And I guess when you relapse, you definitely relapse. Heroin.
- [08:58]
J. Muse
Yes. And in the end, it winded up killing her because she got hiv, she got aids.
- [09:04]
Adam Carolla
So was she around long enough to see what you'd been able to do?
- [09:10]
J. Muse
She was. She was. She passed away around. It was 2001. So I just done Jay and Soft Bob Strikes Back. So she had seen Clerks, Mall Rats, Chasing Amy and we had Dogma. And then we did strike back. So she did get this. But she was. And I lived with her. She moved in with me, and I took care of her the last couple years of her life. And, you know, so I would sit home. I'd come home from being out of town for a month or two and we'd sit around and watch Murder, She Wrote and Matlock and stuff.
- [09:42]
Adam Carolla
And. God, I mean, how, you know, you're being a movie star. I don't know if it's a movie star. But successful in movies had to be one of the more unlikely scenarios ever. I mean, from where you come from. How much were you involved with the creative process?
- [10:08]
J. Muse
Not at all for any of the movies. Definitely for one, for Clerks. Again, I had no plan on acting and being in movies. And I was so nervous on Clerks that I used to ask people, like, when we were doing scenes outside of the Quick Stop, if there was. Like. There wasn't many people there anyway, but there was, like, five people. Like someone doing sound, someone doing the camera. I would ask them to go inside and wait because I was so nervous when the Camera said, action. And then I would be like, snooch to the nude. Because I was so nervous. So there was no. I had no, you know, being so nervous. I didn't put any creative process in it, except for the fact that everything that I said and did technically was things that I had said and Kevin heard me say and do over those, like, three years of us being friends. Cause he'd be like, why do you run around saying snoochie boochies? And he wrote it down, you know, so it was me being creative, but not during the filming of. And it wasn't to like dogma that I got really comfortable and I got to ad lib a little bit. And I was part of that. But for the most part, Kevin was like, you have to stick to the lines that I write. So. And then I would maybe throw in an ad lib and he'd be like, okay, that's funnier. So we'll say that the next take. But.
- [11:29]
Adam Carolla
So Clerks originally, what was the plan? If there was a plan? I mean, Kevin wanted to make a film. Was there a plan to do something with the film after he made it?
- [11:42]
J. Muse
Yeah, I think for him it was just to edit it and try to submit it to film festivals.
- [11:48]
Adam Carolla
Uh huh.
- [11:48]
J. Muse
Um, and I do know, and again, he knows better, but I know that the first time he screened it out there was like a New York film festival. He got in, I guess it was only on like two screens. And both screenings there was like 10 people in the theater watching it. And there was a gentleman named Bob Hawk that was in the. In the theater, luckily, who passed it on to another gentleman was like, you have to see this movie. And that gentleman submitted to Sundance and like, got them to watch it. And that's when Kevin went to Sundance and Miramax bought it at Sundance.
- [12:27]
Adam Carolla
I mean, it really became a darling. And I think a lot of it is a story too. I mean, I'm sorry, not the story of the movie, but how cheap it was made for and who made it. And it was like there was a. You know, I think with movies, okay, with any kind of art, there is the art itself in a vacuum. And then there's the kind of the part around it, you know, where you go, this woman was Vietnamese and she didn't speak any English, and she made this film. Like, we like a story. I mean, unless it's a Tom Cruise maverick type situation, we like an indie, cool, little, this was never supposed to happen story. And it did.
- [13:08]
J. Muse
No, I feel like it really was like, timing, like I feel like if that happened now with everything out YouTube and all these different, like, social media, it just seemed he. He had. It was $27,500 or whatever, and he sold his comic book collection. He borrowed money from the producer. He met the producer and the DP at film school in Vancouver. So I remember it. That was. That was the whole part of the story. Like, you know, Kevin Smith, you know, sells his comic book collection and meets his, like, the producer at Vancouver Film School and quits film school because he's like, I can do this myself. And so I remember that was a big part of, like, the newspapers, when articles would come out and stuff. So it was cool. And I was on the outside because even then, it wasn't for me. Like, I wasn't like, wow, this means something. I'm maybe gonna be able to do other movies and I'm gonna be an actor now. I just went back to my job and hanging out with my friends that were my age and stuff, doing my stuff. And then it was till Mallrats that, like, wow, we're doing a studio movie. That it seemed a little more real. But still after that, I went back home and it was almost like, all right, you're back home. And that's that. And it was, you know, until later on, I was in one scene in Chasing Amy, and then there was. I met. There's a gentleman, Malcolm Ingram, who we met on Mall Rats, who said, hey, I have money and I'm doing an indie movie. So I went to Vancouver. Now all of a sudden, I'm in four movies, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, like, maybe this is something I could do for a living, is make movies. So it really happened all by luck and, like, just, like, knowing Kevin and then meeting Malcolm and so on. I did one scene in a movie called Vulgar that our friend Brian Johnson made. So it just kept, like, coming along, like, in 30. And still to this day, 30 years, I've been making movies. Everything that I've done, I've not gotten one of the movies from an audition. It's all been like, either a friend's making a movie or someone has seen my movies, and they're like, hey, we're making this indie movie. Or, you know, I got invited. I got to do Flash TV show. I got to do Supergirl because I met Melissa Benoist on Flash, and she was like, hey, I'm going to be directing an episode. I'd love for you to be on it. I'm like, all right, have you.
- [15:30]
Adam Carolla
How Much Weinstein contact was there. Did you get a feel for the guy?
- [15:35]
J. Muse
You know, there was, there was a small period. You know, I remember we flew on his private jet somewheres once.
- [15:45]
Adam Carolla
Epstein's Island.
- [15:46]
J. Muse
No, it wasn't there. He like flew us. I think we were in, we were in LA and we were going to New York for something. But, you know, it's. At one point he did wind up, my mom was again, was really sick from aids. He winded up paying for her to go see this specialist in New York, this like really expensive doctor who was like the new. He had all the new, you know, the new drugs were out. And it was supposed to be helping people live longer with AIDS. It was way back again, 2001. And he paid for this doctor and like paid for her to go out and see this doctor. So that's my experience with him way back then was. I remember I flew on his private jet and then he paid for my doctor, my. My mom to go to see this specialist.
- [16:34]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [16:34]
J. Muse
You know, and then years later, of course, all this bad stuff starts coming out. But I didn't have a lot of contact with him besides that.
- [16:44]
Adam Carolla
It's interesting because you think villains in our society are sort of modern day villains. You go, well, Bill Cosby, Weinstein, Trump to half the country, George Steinbrenner, the owner of the Yankees, all of them have all these stories about them anonymously buying people houses and Stu employee got cancer and had to quit and they bought the house and paid the mortgage for the house and stuff. So, you know, people are complex.
- [17:19]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [17:20]
Adam Carolla
And we like to just put them all in the one bin.
- [17:23]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [17:24]
Adam Carolla
And make it nice and easy and more like a comic book.
- [17:28]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [17:28]
Adam Carolla
You know what I mean? Like in a comic book, when the villain comes home and he sees his dog, he kicks his dog. But the worst person in the world still loves their dog and their dog loves them. And it's, it's like a lot more nuanced than, than that. And that's why, by the way, people do need to understand, like when people go, this guy's a douchebags or whatever, you know, I go, he was always nice to me.
- [17:53]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [17:54]
Adam Carolla
Like, all I got is what I got from him.
- [17:57]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [17:57]
Adam Carolla
I only have our interactions. I wasn't married to him.
- [17:59]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [18:00]
Adam Carolla
He didn't date me all the time.
- [18:02]
J. Muse
I hear that, like people I've worked with told like, oh my God, you worked with so and so what were they like? Were they like. I heard they're not. And I'm like, they were Always nice to me, everyone I've worked with.
- [18:11]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I give people the caveat. I go, the guy's nice to me, but on the other hand, you know, he owns the club and I'm the headliner. So he's. What's it going to be? A douche. You know what I mean? You were the open mic guy. So then he maybe is douchey. He's not really going to be douchey to me. So maybe he is a douche, but he wasn't douchey to me. Like a copy. Who could be a douche? But if he pulled a guy over and it turned out the guy went to high school with him, he wouldn't be a douche.
- [18:41]
J. Muse
Exactly. No. For sure.
- [18:43]
Adam Carolla
So for you, you're in this like crazy world because you got your dad who abandoned the family.
- [18:52]
J. Muse
Yes.
- [18:52]
Adam Carolla
You ever reconnect with him?
- [18:55]
J. Muse
No. So, I mean, that's a whole nother story. There's a long story behind that that I'm still figuring out how to tell that story. But just to be simple, I never. He was when my mom always told me that my dad was married, had kids and it was like a one night or like a couple night affair and that was it. And she told me his name was John Stenka and he was Polish and that wasn't the case. Like when I did my DNA test, I'm like, I have no Polish in me. I'm Italian. Like, I have like 40% of me is Italian and English and Dutch and so it was very interesting. But I didn't. Growing up, I didn't care.
- [19:36]
Adam Carolla
John Stanka.
- [19:37]
J. Muse
Yeah, yeah.
- [19:37]
Adam Carolla
Polish name. That's like smelly toilet.
- [19:40]
J. Muse
Yeah. I'm not sure why she. I don't know if she just didn't want me to try to like find him, but I didn't really have any interest at the time because.
- [19:51]
Adam Carolla
Well, I'm sorry. So it wasn't traditional, like he abandoned the family.
- [19:57]
J. Muse
No. Yeah.
- [19:57]
Adam Carolla
He was never there. I mean, he got your mom pregnant and got back with his.
- [20:01]
J. Muse
Yes.
- [20:02]
Adam Carolla
And May. Who knew? Who knows what he knew. So there is a separation, I think, between somebody who dates somebody, has a relationship with somebody, gets that person pregnant, that person gives birth and they leave and never see the kid again. That's pretty bad stuff.
- [20:25]
J. Muse
Yes.
- [20:25]
Adam Carolla
The affair. I'm married, I got a family and I had an affair and you got pregnant is not noble, but it's not as bad as kids born and whatever. So he's gone and your mom sort of gives you this story and you never Go look for the guy or try to figure that out.
- [20:47]
J. Muse
No, there was no way to do it way back. There was no way for me to.
- [20:52]
Adam Carolla
He knew anything.
- [20:53]
J. Muse
I always wondered that. I don't know if he did. Like, I had asked my grandma at one point, and it was like, I have this weird family history from the beginning, because my grandma, who raised me most of my teenage years, when my mom was going in and out of, you know, relapsing and stuff, I remember being, like, maybe 11 or so, and we were doing this project in school, and I. They were like, hey, is. Is your grandmother your mom's mom or your dad's mom? And I remember coming home and asking my grandma, are you mom's mom or my dad's mom? And she's like, well, actually, I'm not either. I'm your mom's aunt, you know, So I found out my mom, my grandma's really my aunt. My aunt, who I. Her daughter, who I called my aunt Alice my whole life, was really my cousin. And in that whole thing, and, you know, I had an uncle Mickey that lived down the street who wasn't related to us by blood at all.
- [21:46]
Adam Carolla
I know. Listen, they get fast and loose with the uncle business. Y Business. And it's so weird when you talk to somebody who does that. You know, they go, oh, my aunt's coming into town. And I go, your aunt? By the way, how many aunts do you have?
- [22:02]
J. Muse
Oh, she's.
- [22:03]
Adam Carolla
It's not really my aunt. I was like, okay, well, stop saying that then. It's confusing. Well, this is interesting, and if you like to feel better about your family of origin, I have, you know, some of that. My mom was taken away by child protective Services and then raised by her grandparents who she thought were her parents, and then they died, and then she thought her parents were dead, but it turns out she was just being raised by the grandparents of my grandma or by the parents of my grandma, who then after they died, and my grandma came back into the picture and collected her. Oh, and then my grandmother's brother killed himself, too, when he was young. A lot of dysfunction back then. It's not a new thing, this dysfunction thing. And then. So I grew up never knowing. I never met my biologist. The guy who's my mom's biological dad was, like, an alcoholic and left. And my grandmother remarried, so she got raised by her stepfather and her mom, but only after she was older and they came back into the picture. And that's why my mom always called
- [23:32]
J. Muse
her mom Helen, not mom, because Helen? Yes, yes, yes.
- [23:38]
Adam Carolla
And so she knew her as Helen, you know, or Auntie Helen or something.
- [23:43]
J. Muse
And did you call her grandma because you're like at that point or you.
- [23:46]
Adam Carolla
I called her grandma and I called him Grandpa.
- [23:50]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [23:51]
Adam Carolla
Because when I was born that was my grandmother and it was my grandfather because I never knew the other guy. Yeah, either. So. But sort of. I wouldn't say got raised by them, but my mom was not highly functional and we lived in their second beater house kind of for free, like when you have the daughter that can't get her shit together. And so what ends up kind of happening is you end up spending more time with the functional family. And my grandparents cooked and like had a, you know, a semi normal color tv. You know, they had like a semblance of a normal life. So we end up spending a lot of time there. Plus, if your biological parents don't want to do anything for you, then yeah, dump them off, let them sleep over and have dinner. You make them breakfast, you know, so there's a lot of that.
- [24:53]
J. Muse
Same here. Same here. It was like my grandma was the one that was sort of. Was normal again, my aunt, but I thought my grandma. And we lived in a. We had two houses. She owned two houses on the property. So it was her. Her daughter Alice and then her daughter Linda. So it was nice. There was definitely a period. I had a. I had lived. Had a room there. I lived at that house for years. And they had kids. So there was kids to play with in the yard. We had bunnies and stuff. But then all of a sudden I would get yanked out of there and move back in with my mom, who I would wake up in the middle of the night and there would be all these tube TVs in my living room, like 10 of them. And a couple of her friends, they would go to hotels under different names, pay cash, and then they would steal the TV and sell them. So like, it was like that weird thing. And I would be able to stay out, you know, at 10 years old I would stay. I wouldn't be able to like go out and out, out, but I'd be able to hang out on my street till like two in the morning. Because my mom would be like, whatever. She'd be high, she'd be high, she'd be like, ouch. Like, I'll be right back, I gotta run somewheres. And that. And that went on for. For a while. I almost got left back in sixth grade because I missed like 36 days of school. And they called finally Was like, look, you miss one more day, we have to leave you back. And I didn't want that. So I made sure I went to school every day after that. But. But still, it was definitely. Whenever I wasn't with my grandma, it was chaotic like that. And at one point, my grandma was, like, not. She was older and sick. So I lived.
- [26:27]
Adam Carolla
Grandma's.
- [26:28]
Alicia Krause
Yours.
- [26:29]
Adam Carolla
Is that your sister's sister?
- [26:31]
J. Muse
So. No, it was my mom. It was.
- [26:32]
Adam Carolla
I'm sorry, your mom's sister.
- [26:34]
J. Muse
So it was my mom's aunt. Oh, we find out. Yes, it was my mom's aunt. So it was my great. Sorry. She was my great aunt. I find out later. My mom never wasn't in her mom's life either. I actually have, like, six aunts that later on I stayed in touch with because my mom has. Was put up for adoption at, like, 1 years old. And then her mom, my grandma remarried and had, like, six girls with this other man. So like, later on, I met them. Later on I met my real grandma, but I met her, like, twice. I got the, like for Christmas. She came down and we met at my aunt's. So there's a lot of. Lot of that, you know, dysfunction. I live with this random family from my grandma's church that I remember just having to, like, really put on. Like, I just really knew I had to be good and adapt to, like, their way of life. They got to sleep in a bunk bed with the. On the bunk bed with their son. So it's. You know, it definitely was an interesting upbringing for me, but, you know, I moved out at 17 and started living up with my buddy who we roofed together, and then we did clerks, and, you know, things turned out okay. I think so.
- [27:51]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Well, the message that you get when you got a mom like your mom and maybe a mom like my mom, which is, boy, you. You're on your own. Yeah, you better figure this shit out fast. There is no. You know, when you're 11, you get the. You know which way the wind is blowing.
- [28:10]
J. Muse
Yes.
- [28:10]
Adam Carolla
Like, you go, this person here is not really capable of taking care of me. And I don't think they're gonna. They're barely. They can barely get their own shit together for themselves. But did your mom have moments where she was sober and, like, you guys would go out to dinner and it'd be sort of normal, you know?
- [28:34]
J. Muse
Not really. I don't. Whenever I remember being with. With her, and I don't think she was. Maybe she. I don't think she was getting high necessarily, because she Looked healthy when I. From what I remember. And we would go out, but I also remember her bringing us to the grocery store and having me, you know, put packets of steak down my pants, you know, with my winter jacket on and be like, go out, back out. Go out to the car and I'll be right out. Or she would steal cartons of cigarettes, or we'd go around. She'd make me hang out the window and steal people's mail. And then we'd go to the duck pond and she would open all the mail and, like, throw it in a barrel and burn it. You know, there was. Take credit cards and cash for birthday, which again, years later, I wish I could make amends to some. Some people, like, would be like, happy birthday from Pop Pop. And it'd be like a hundred dollar bill. And it would be like, my mom would be like, yep, you know, there's that. So.
- [29:30]
Adam Carolla
So would. Is this fair to say with your mom? Cause I think this was my mom's thing. My mom's thing was like. Like she was a victim, and she's gonna spend her whole life trying to fix herself. Meaning it was a kind of a thing. And it's something I tap into now a lot. When you make someone into a victim, then you make them capable of doing whatever, which is like, I'm a victim so I can steal your shit in your mailbox. Because I got victimized.
- [30:01]
J. Muse
Yeah, I never got deep with her about that, but I'm. I probably because again, her mom didn't want her. So I feel like maybe there was some resentment for that and she felt like I'm the victim. So it does make sense. It feels like she just never. It seemed like she just never. That I remember was happy. And even when I was with her, when she was sick, she changed, but she was so sick that I feel like. And we would just. I would spend time with her, but she still. We never talked. I was talking to my wife about this the other day because I'm like, it's interesting that I would spend hours and hours with her watching show TV and, you know, making her food and stuff, because she was like, in bed, like, sort of bedridden almost. But I never wanted to talk to her and be like, hey, man, let's talk about my upbringing. Like, who's my dad? Who's this? Because I just feel like I was like, sort of numbing myself. I also started using drugs at that point, so I was numbing myself as well, because it was like, it wasn't just a good Place to be. Like, it was sort of. It was sad for me to see my mom, because even though all this went on, I remember at one point, someone's like, ain't you mad at your mom? Don't you. Aren't you, like, super upset that your mom, like, was back and forth and never gave up the drugs? She couldn't give up the drugs for you also, you know, when I was 12, my mom. My mom took. My mom sold drugs. At one point, I was, like, 12 years old. I was leaving my grandma's, and my mom pulls up in the car, and I was riding my bike to my buddy's house, and I said. She goes, where you going? I said, I'm going to my buddy's house. She goes, hey, my friend Tim. I'll call him Timmy. I don't want to say his name, but it was my brother's friend Timmy. And she goes, you know your brother's friend Timmy, right? And I was like, yeah. She goes, he's down at the beach with his uncle, and I need to give this to him, but he owes me money. Make sure you get money from him. I was like, I don't want to do that. I'm going to my friends. We're about to go to the park to play football. And she's like, please, just do it for me. So I ride my bike down there, give him the envelope. He gives me the cash, and two months later, my brother picks me up. My brother's eight years older than me. My older brother, he picks me up in his car, and he pulls in the parking lot. He goes, do you remember meeting Timmy, like, two months ago? I was like, yeah. He goes, that wasn't his uncle. It was an undercover cop. And you sold him heroin.
- [32:29]
Adam Carolla
Wow.
- [32:30]
J. Muse
And I was like, wait, what? I said, I gave him an envelope. He goes in. The envelope was heroin that mom. And I said, well, mommy told. My mom told me to do it. So they were like, well, look, your mom don't turn herself in and admit that you didn't know what was in the package and stuff. You're gonna get charged for that. In the end, she winds up turning herself in, goes to jail for nine years.
- [32:49]
Adam Carolla
Nine years.
- [32:50]
J. Muse
Nine years. Yeah. And the charges got dropped for me, and nothing happened to me. But still, like, that hung over me. It was in the newspaper. In our small town of Highlands, you know, cops would pull me over for nothing. Like, if I was riding my bike, they'd stop me. They'd be like, hey, what are you up to? Pull over. Let Me check your pockets. Couple of my friends, parents of course were like, hey, this guy sells drugs. And they're like, no, his mom had him do it. But they, and I get their parents are trying to protect their kid. But so I don't know why I started telling you that story.
- [33:23]
Adam Carolla
So, I mean, the question is my mom was never right because of how she grew up. Since there's always something wrong with her. And it was like I would describe her as you take a car, let's say you lend your car to Tiger woods and he rolls it a couple times and at some point you get it back and you kind of get the scratches out of it and you paint it and it looks good, but the doors always stick. It's always that sticky door. Cause it got bent. You know what I mean? And it's just never gonna be right. It can fake it a little bit, but it's just the door's always gonna stick. Cause it's got bent and it's never gonna be what it was. You know what I mean? And I sort of. But feel that way with women especially. You give them up for adoption or like child protective services or the mom doesn't tell and they're just, they go through their whole life bent just a little bit fucked up. O o o o o o'reilly Auto Parts. Mm. What business are they in? They're in the business of keeping your car on the road. I don't have too many car issues, but when I do, I always go with O'Reilly. Lots of parts give them for my projects, cars, race cars I'm working on. They've got thousands of parts in stock either in store or online. So you never have to worry. If you're in a jam, they're going to be there for you. They're also, they can test your battery and they'll do it for free. And if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one because there's different sizes for different cars. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. Am I right, Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or
- [35:34]
J. Muse
visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com
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Adam Carolla
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Alicia Krause
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J. Muse
This is the mantra
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- [36:06]
Adam Carolla
Huzzah.
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- [36:13]
Adam Carolla
And they can't seem to get over that now. Like, you had that, too. But then you overcompensate with your kids, and you're friendly and you don't do, you know, you don't lay the shit on them that, you know, like, that was kind of, I guess, growing up. You certainly. With your mom. Me, to a lesser extent, with my mom's, like, I didn't want to get involved with her shit, but they lay it on you. You know what I mean?
- [36:44]
J. Muse
And that's why I started telling that story, is because even with that happening and everything else, I remember, like, aren't you mad your mom did that? And I'm like, I don't know. I just had this unconditional love for my mom and never, you know, and I never dwelled. I feel like I never dwelled on that and, like, got up, like, was mad at her or anything. I just, you know, it was. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I'd be like, man, this is a bummer. I don't have this life. But it definitely made it to where I was like, I do not want to have kids and put my kids in that. Especially when I was using and getting high. And then I get sober for a couple years. I'm like, even though I'm sober for a couple years and I've been dating this girl, doesn't mean I want to have kids. Even though I want kids. But I wasn't. I didn't have kids TILL I was 40. And my wife and I were together for, like, seven years, and we were like, you know, we owned a house. And finally I'm like, okay, I own a house. I'm sober for a long time. I'm with this woman. I want to have kids now. So, you know, I feel like that. That I got from that experience. But I also know, you know, I see from my kid. My kid, the difference. Like you said, like, you don't want to be part of this, and you have to figure it out right away. At 10 years old, I feel like my kids. Sometimes I see where I'm like, my kid needs a. It's great. She has two parents, and she does. She has no idea. She's. You know, my kid gets what she wants. She's, like, away right now on a trip with her Class. And I feel blessed that I'm able to. That she's able to do that and I'm able to give her that. But yeah, sometimes I'm like, man, how do I teach her? I guess I want to call it street smarts, but I like feel like there's street smarts and there's like book smart and, you know, so.
- [38:33]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, you want them to have a little eye of the tiger, just a little fire in the belly, just a little sense of urgency, just a little motivation to get out. Cause a lot of it was. I mean, for me, I wanted to get out of an uncomfortable life.
- [38:56]
J. Muse
Yes.
- [38:56]
Adam Carolla
So I was motivated and my kids grew up in a very comfortable environment. So they're going to have to figure their own way out, but they're in no hurry to get out. And I was like, I gotta get out of here.
- [39:14]
J. Muse
And I'm wondering how to teach that without being like, hey, let's make them less uncomfortable so they figure it out. But it's like, I want to less comfortable. Yeah.
- [39:22]
Adam Carolla
You know what it is? That's never going to work.
- [39:25]
Alicia Krause
Work.
- [39:25]
Adam Carolla
No, it's never going to work because, you know, the bell's been rung. At least with my kids now. Plan B. I've thought about this and I think I got an answer for it, which is our. My kids are never going to have the motor I have. Because they don't have to, because they're comfortable. Because grubhub and shit. And who cares nothing for them, right? But what does motivate you is a passion. It's either misery or passion. For me, a lot of it was air conditioning. I wanted air conditioning and I never had air conditioning in houses or cars or family. I literally wanted air conditioning. So I was so uncomfortable, I got motivated to make money so I could have air conditioning, but my kids aren't going to do that. But it's like you take someone like Jimmy. When I met Jimmy, he had a passion for comedy, a strong passion for comedy. He grew up pretty middle class, fairly comfortable, not rich. But his parents, his dad worked and his parents were together. And he didn't grow up with the kind of. Of selling drugs at the beach kind of environment and copping TV sets and stuff. He grew up pretty regular and could have just been a regular guy, but he had comedy. So it wasn't really misery and street smarts. It was just he loved comedy so much. He's very motivated to do comedy. And so the chance that our kids stand is not fire in the belly, street smarts. Motivation. It's more gonna be they are in love with music or art or they just love working with kids or pets or something, like some muse. And that will motivate you as much as people telling you no and that kind of shit, you know, sort of negative motivation.
- [41:40]
J. Muse
Yeah, no. My daughter loves ballet, and I'm starting to that with ballet. Like, she wants to start competing, so she wants to take, you know, privates and that stuff. So it makes sense. Yes. Yeah.
- [41:52]
Adam Carolla
And then theoretically, something like a love of ballet, while you may not do it professionally as an adult, the dedication and the repetition and the hard work of training will then be grafted onto some other endeavor when they're 25 and not, you know, realize they're not going to be doing it professionally. So I think you got a shot here.
- [42:19]
J. Muse
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's good. It makes sense. It really does. Because I do see that when she wanted to start, like, she's been doing ballet for years, and when she started wanting pointe shoes, she's, like, started taking privates and she wanted to start competing. So now she wants privates twice a week. So it does, like, motivate her to like, I don't want to go. I've been at school all day. I don't want to go. But she's like, oh, but I want to get my point shoes, so I'm gonna get myself there and go. So it's true.
- [42:46]
Adam Carolla
So biological dad don't have a name on him. What does he know?
- [42:55]
J. Muse
So he doesn't. He. I don't believe he knows anything. And I can't. There's a whole. So there's a whole story behind that, that that's happened recently. And. And I feel like I don't. I don't sort of want. I don't know if I should spill the beans. I almost sort of spilled the beans the other day. My wife was able to track down my dad through a sister I have, through him, through 23 and me and all of this. And she really wanted to give this to me for my 50th birthday because my daughter was like, do I have a grandpa? And so my wife did a lot of work and we found out information. So I do have. I do have a name. I do. I did find out things, but we've been. To be honest, I just haven't figured out how we want to present it because it's been so long. Such a long time coming. Like, it's like I didn't know for years and that when I turned 50, all of a sudden, my wife's like, oh my God, I think I found your dad. Here's a picture I think of your grandmother on the 20th. You know, the trees they put in there for the family trees. And this I believe is your sister. And my wife reached out to this girl and. Yeah. So, you know, it's. It's a long story that I'm trying to figure out how to present it from beginning to end when I tell this story. So I don't know if that's make sense.
- [44:29]
Adam Carolla
Well, it makes sense in that you're in a process of doing this.
- [44:34]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [44:35]
Adam Carolla
Which I don't know, I'd be apprehensive about because I'd feel like, oh man, it'd be. I don't know, it's kind of interesting. I think there's kind of a wiring. Like, I think when I started doing the show, Catch a contractor, Skip Bedell, my partner, I believe, was in the process or had just located his biological sister because I think he was adopted and it was really important to him to locate her and they immediately just became family. And I think she appreciated it. And he was like, it was very important to him.
- [45:24]
J. Muse
Yeah, yeah.
- [45:26]
Adam Carolla
Which I've definitely heard the other side of it too, where the daughter finally tracks the dad down and it's not good, you know, and so there's that possibility. But your, your possibilities are better because your dad didn't abandon the family. Your dad had a one night stand or whatever.
- [45:54]
J. Muse
Yes.
- [45:55]
Adam Carolla
So he may not even be aware of this.
- [45:58]
J. Muse
Well, and it's the process of getting there. Like, I feel like I'm afraid to like just give bits right now on here. And then it doesn't really tell the process that my wife went through. And like we found it. And I'm like, man, I really want to be able to articulate because it's an interesting story because it. We have this much. We have, you know, we have like 95% of the information that I could tell, but I don't. I feel like if I tell it and then down the road I'm like, oh my God, I have all 100%. And I want to tell you this from day one, this happened because when again, I didn't care when I was younger, really, it wasn't till my daughter started asking questions and and was like, what is your. What does grandpa look like? And does he still have his hair? And all these things that my. I was like, well, you know, I won. And then I got 23andMe because I was like, I think I'm Polish, but I don't know. And then we did it. And then I found I was Italian. And so it became like a goal of my wife's to be like, I want to find all of this information out for you for your 50th birthday. And she did find out. Like, there's a lot of information I have that I feel like it's going to be. She said if I give like two bits, it's like premature ejaculation if I tell. So I feel like if we sat here, if I could sit here for an hour and we can go from. And I could articulate it from day one, it'd be. I feel like it's a. Interesting story, but we'll come back. Yep. I would love to come back. I would, honest to goodness, if we could do it, I would love to really sit down and go through the process and be able to come and tell you the whole story and to where we're at right now today, you know, it would be pretty cool.
- [47:50]
Adam Carolla
It's so interesting. Your mom, I was picturing her stealing the TV sets.
- [47:55]
J. Muse
Yes. Yeah. It was such a weird thing because again, I, like, was half asleep and I remember coming out one time and they were all over the couch. And again, it wasn't even like now, where if I wanted to come in and try to steal these three LEDs or whatever they are, LCD TVs. Not saying it'd be easy, but it'd be a little bit easier to carry. But these were those big, big tube tv.
- [48:15]
Adam Carolla
So heavy.
- [48:16]
J. Muse
So big and heavy. And. And then the mail, the mail thing really sort of, again, years later got to me because I'm just like. I remember, like, even though I was a kid, I just remember her opening them up. And like one time we opened a box and it was like a. Like one of those ceramic angels that, like, was a gift for, like, you know, a granddaughter. And then a grand. Another time was from a grandpa sending a hundred dollar bill to his, you know, granddaughter for a bir birthday. And it just. They never get it. They're like, oh, my God, where's that present?
- [48:50]
Adam Carolla
Right?
- [48:52]
J. Muse
Yeah, just stuff like that. And then just burning all the mail. And I would be like, man, I don't want to do that. But she'd be like, no, no, I'm gonna pull up to the. The mailbox. You're gonna hang out the window and grab it. And so. But that's the thing is, like, I remember people being like, aren't you so mad at her for making you do this and the drug story, but for some reason, it never. Like, there's no hatred for me, towards myself.
- [49:18]
Adam Carolla
Well, I mean, you know, with drug addicts, you kind of. I would say all is forgiven, but there's a real context to them and their actions, and it's pretty much what they do and how it works.
- [49:35]
J. Muse
Well. And especially years later, I found out myself. Like, I remember being like, I'll never. You know, I'll never use a needle because my mom used a needle and caught aids. And I didn't for years, using. I just kept being like, I'll never do that, but I never thought I'd do heroin, but I did it, but I'll never use a needle. And I winded up doing that. And then I remember being like, all right, I'm using only brand new needles in a bag and all that. And then luckily, one point, I'm like, I'll never share, though. And I remember being so sick. One point. I don't know if I've ever told this. I was so sick one time and I met this guy in a rehab, of all places, but I relapsed and I called him up and I was like, oh, my God, how you doing? He's like, oh, man, I relapsed too. He's like, I'm down right now, copping. And I was like, man, I'm so sick and I have no money. And he's like, if you can get to me, I got you. And I remember I took, like three buses. I had just enough money to take, like, three buses down to his place where he lived downtown.
- [50:33]
Adam Carolla
Are we in la?
- [50:34]
J. Muse
I was in la. I was living in Santa Monica at the time. And I took the bus downtown and. And I finally get there, and I remember I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sick. He's like, don't worry, I got you. And he gives me a syring fringe. And I was like, what's this? He's like, oh, well. He's like, I only had enough for this. And he's like, I had to go. I was sick, too. So he had already. Sorry. He already used it. And I could even see blood in there. Which, again, I thought I'd never do. But I still was so sick. I was like, oh, man, whatever. And I shared a needle with somebody and I even know there was blood in there. So it was like, even more of a chance. I'm rolling the dice with this and thank goodness. Of course, this is like 20 years ago, so I know that I didn't catch hep C. I didn't catch HIV or anything. Thank goodness. But, yeah, I mean, you do get to a point for me, I got to a point where I just did all these things I thought I wouldn't do, you know, and it's. It's a real. But again, July 2, 16 years sober, I have.
- [51:38]
Adam Carolla
Wow.
- [51:39]
J. Muse
Yeah. So thank goodness. Thank you.
- [51:41]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's. Drugs make everybody do everything they don't want to do in pursuit of the drugs. I mean, thank God you didn't have kids.
- [51:54]
J. Muse
Yeah. At that time. No. Yeah. Because in my head, I probably like, well, if I had kids, I would never do any of this crazy stuff. But, yeah, I can't imagine if now, like, got to that point to where I was physically sick and didn't know what to do. What? Yeah, you just do things, and I did things I didn't think I would do.
- [52:15]
Adam Carolla
So when you're strung out and you need heroin and you can't get heroin, what's it feel like?
- [52:25]
J. Muse
It's. You're. You. Well, first it start. You know, you start to sweat, and then you're like, your skin's crawling, and then, you know, by day two, you're. That's happening, but your legs are twitching. And then you start to. Some people vomit. I never vomited. But you, you know, you get diarrhea and you just don't. You can't sleep. I remember trying to kick a couple times cold turkey and not be on. You just lay on the ground, like, staring at the wall. I would stare at the wall, and I could not sleep, which to me was almost the worst part of it for me, because you're not only, like, you know, if you have the flu or you're. Or something, you take some cough medicine, whatever, you fall asleep for maybe eight hours, and at least you're sleeping. During that sickness, you can't sleep. So you're sick and you can't sleep, and it's just really, really uncomfortable. Then you're. You just feels drained. Like, even when I remember getting through the hump of being like all the. The. The first parts of being withdrawals, which is the sweats and runny nose and. And diarrhea and all that. Then you're, like, mentally you're just drained. You feel like. I feel like last time, I remember, like, getting sober, I remember just for like a month and a half, I felt like I was carrying a backpack full of bricks. Like, you just feel, like, really tired and lethargic and slow and stuff. It's Just not a. It's an interesting feeling. It's like being really sick but not being able to sleep or take any cold medicine to relieve those symptoms.
- [54:04]
Adam Carolla
Right. And if you go into rehab, they'll give you stuff at the beginning, right?
- [54:09]
J. Muse
Yeah, they usually give you, like, clottidine and cladapin. It helps your blood pressure. And some. They give you sleeping medicine at nighttime. And it. And it does. It does dampen it and help you sleep. So. Yeah, I mean, they do. I feel like there was one time. It really depends on what you're on, I feel like, because I remember I was doing oxycontin, which is a painkiller, and that, like, gets in your. Your fatty tissue, they say, and it takes longer. And that was. Even though I would take, like, clottidine, cladipin, I still had trouble sleeping where the first time I went to rehab, I was just using heroin. Not just. But I was using heroin. And they gave me enough stuff that I remember I slept for, like, three days, like, almost three days. I get up, go to the bathroom and eat a little bit. But yeah, they do give you stuff to help you. And then there's there people there to talk to and. But it is. It is. Yeah, that's not a fun thing. And I don't know when you're out. When you're out on this, when I'd be out at home, you wake up and it's like, sus. You wake up, you're not feeling 100% because you've been sleeping and you feel. And you're like, oh, my God, what are we gonna do today? I remember dating this girl. I was living in Huntington beach, and it would be like, we'd wake up and be like, oh, my God, what are we gonna do? She'd be like, well, I think I can get 50 bucks to go. And then we have to drive 40 minutes to go get what we need, and then we can make it back home, and that'll last us most of the day. And then usually because it wouldn't make it half the day, really. So it. It's. It was just the grind of it all. Besides feeling sick and. And using drugs and being sick, there is also the process of getting it, which is a weird thing that, like, I won't say I missed it, but it was something that was stuck in my head at first. When I got sober, it was like. Like, now I don't have to spend my day doing this, so what am I going to do with myself? So I went to a bunch of AA meetings And stuff like that. It's very interesting. And for a while, if I drove past Burger King, there was this Burger King I used to cop drugs and then go use in the Burger King bathroom. And I had passed it a few times when I was sober because I was going somewhere else. But even just passing it like this, you know, sense of rush, go over that. Like, I would smell it and remember, oh, I remember being there four months ago. And it's a weird feeling, you know,
- [56:43]
Adam Carolla
what do you do? I've never asked this question. It's not that profound. But I mean, like, you know, you go, what are you gonna do on booze? You know, and they go, well, I'm going ice fishing and I'm gonna be drinking 10 beers, you know, or we're going out, we're going out to the beach, we're playing volleyball and I'm drinking some beers, you know, or whatever. And then you go, what are you doing with the pot? And they go, I'm gonna eat an edible, I'm going to Disneyland or whatever it is, I'm gonna do it. And then we're gonna watch Superman. But heroin, I don't know what you do on heroin because other things you do on. And with pain pills, a lot of guys, Dr. Drew would tell me, would have big time habits and be successful lawyers and stuff like that, they're actually pretty functional while eating tons of pain pills. And there's guys who would get high and run, write stuff and stuff like that. But I don't know what you do on heroin.
- [57:55]
J. Muse
You wind up. There's not. You don't do much. But if I wanted to go somewhere, your day is really filled with trying to get enough. I feel like even if you. I mean, unless you had unlimited money, even with heroin, though, there's always that, like, okay, we gotta call the dealer and go meet them. And then you're like stressing about if you're gonna get busted or are they gonna show up. And then if you. Then you finally get it, you're like, okay, I'm not gonna be sick anymore. And then all you are relieved temporarily like, okay, I'm not sick. And we have just enough now for tonight. We gotta save this for tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm supposed to go to this, you know, this funeral or something and I have to show up. So really, it was just about. It wasn't ever like, hey, I'm gonna use heroin and we're gonna. I know what you're saying, like, hey, let's go to Disney World. I would Try to be like, all right, I have to go do this thing, and I just don't want to be sick, so I'm going to do just enough. And even the painkillers there are. I feel like painkillers, like you said, they're successful lawyers. There was the last time I relapsed, I only did painkillers for a while because I was like, hey, man, if I'm not shooting heroin or doing cocaine, I haven't technically relapsed in my head, even though I did. But I got up to like 40 narcos a day, you know. But even then it was like, I would take them and it would get. Get me. Like, I would be able to do stuff and I'd be able to go. If I had a job, I could go work for a bit. But then it still was like, oh, wow, that just cost me 500 bucks. And I have some money in the bank, but the guy didn't answer his phone today, so. Oh, my God. Or he's out. Yeah, you know, he's. So there's always that, like, oh, this person's out. I don't have enough. So.
- [59:38]
Adam Carolla
No, there's. There's anxiety. There's anxiety. I mean, on a. On a lesser level, you know, if you smoke and you leave your cigarettes at home and you go out to the whatever and you get there and you're like, oh, we don't sell cigarettes. You have this like, shit, where's my weight? And, you know, you get in the car and drive a long way to get a pack of cigarettes in the middle of the night, if that's. You want a cigarette. You know what I mean? And the people kind of have that with food. I mean, there's. People do that with sex. Like, I. For sure. Like, I. I know guys that, like, every time they go to a town, they gotta find a rub and tug and shit like that. And the drug addicts need to find out where to score when they come into town, you know, and then you. But you need to know where to buy a pack of cigarettes, too.
- [60:30]
J. Muse
Yeah, It's a constant. It is. It's a constant worry. I'm traveling, am I gonna be able to find it and do I have enough money and all that? It really is like, that's why I feel like it's gotta be really hard unless you have, like a doc. Even then the doctor could like, get his license removed, but unless you have like a ton of money, you can be maybe successful, I guess, if you getting it prescribed and, you know, the doctor's always gonna be able to write your script and you could have the unlimited money. But other even. Even then I feel like again, like, if you're going away for a month, it just always seemed for me it was a worry, like, am I going to be able to. Oh, my God, I'm going to la. I remember first time coming to LA and didn't know where to get. Get any heroin. And like, someone was like, go down. I was at a bar and I asked someone, they're like, oh, don't go down by like Alvarado and downtown. And I took a cab there because I was. Started getting dope sick because I thought I brought enough for four days, but it lasted two and a half days and, you know, I started getting sick. And of course I find a street where dudes were on the corner selling. But then I wind up, I never seen it before because there's powder and on the east coast here, it's tar. And they gave me this balloon and I was like, what's this? They're like, it's in there. And I get all the way back home and it's cocaine. But I was so sick, I used cocaine, but now I'm coming down from cocaine and I'm dope sick and I'm like. So I. It just made it worse and I didn't know where. So. Yeah, it's just the ongoing.
- [62:02]
Adam Carolla
It's also you're having to lie all day every day, you know, and it's gotta be. That's a burden. Like your whole everything is a secret, and you know it's not. It'd be like if you were gay in the 30s, you know what I mean? And like, you just. This is what you were. But you could never let anybody find out around you, you know what I mean? Like. Like if you think about that burden, just that general burden, or even guys who, like, cheat, you know what I mean? Like, every time the phone rings and their wife starts, goes, I'll get your phone, you know, Give me that. You know, it's always. It's always there.
- [62:46]
J. Muse
Yeah, it is. It was. It no fun. It really is. And the lying, you know, I always thought like, oh, nobody knows and I don't want to tell. And. And it's tab, especially heroin, just taboo. Anyway, I remember going to clubs and people being like, hey, you want me to buy a drink? Or you want to smoke a joint or you want to do a bump? But no one ever was like, hey, man, you want to do a bump of heroin? It just didn't happen. And I always was like, oh, nobody knows. Even though sometimes if I wore a T shirt, I had track marks. But I was like, oh, they can't see them. And it was a mess. It was. He was a mess for a while. So no fun.
- [63:26]
Adam Carolla
What did alcohol do in terms of. If you cannot get heroin, what would alcohol do?
- [63:35]
J. Muse
Very temporary fix. I'd start to get a buzz, and I'd get sort of drunk, and I'd feel better for a little bit, but then I would either black out drunk and then wake up worse. Cause I'd be hungover and sick, or I would just start to come down from the buz and then start to feel sick and then. And also weird because I drank and maybe not hungover, but still. So it was a temporary fix. And I would do that every once in a while. But, like, I'd like, all right, I'm going to go out and I'm going to get buzzed. And I'd be out with people and socializing and be okay for a bit, but then it would just start to crash harder. So. Yeah.
- [64:20]
Adam Carolla
Well, that was informative.
- [64:22]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [64:24]
Adam Carolla
Cause I really, you know, my thing with heroin, and I'm not uptight and I've done drugs and stuff, but my thing with heroin is like, well, what if you try it and you just love it? I go, look, it was pretty easy. You're either just gonna throw up or you're gonna love it.
- [64:40]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [64:40]
Adam Carolla
And either both those are gonna be
- [64:43]
J. Muse
bad outcomes or you throw up and love it. And that's what happened to me my first time.
- [64:47]
Adam Carolla
Cause it got really.
- [64:48]
J. Muse
Yeah. I didn't want to use, like, again. I hated heroin and drugs because I was like my mom and I don't want to be around it. And this girl I was dating, I didn't realize when we started dating in my head at 21 or while I met her, I was about 19. No lie. She was like a supermodel. And I'm like, there's no way this girl's going to hook up with me. And I. But she was best friends with my good friend girlfriend. And the three of them, we'd all go out. Well, the four of us would all go out to the movies and we'd do stuff. And then when I. Every once in a while they'd, like, start nodding out and. Or they'd be like, hey, we got to go do this thing and I'll be back later. And I found out that they were using heroin. And I remember after I found out, I was like, Wait a minute. I don't want to be around that. Like, my mom and this, and I don't want to be around it. And so I stopped hanging out with this guy I hung out with almost every day. I worked with them, we lived together, and we hung out a lot. I stopped hanging out with him for about 10 days, and then I was like, oh, my God. But I really like this girl. And, oh, my God, I miss my friend. And I got to see him at work. So it's my 21st birthday. I'm like, hey, Mom, 21. Let's go to the bar. And we're going to party, man. We'll all have such a good time. And they're like, you know what? Sorry, man. Like, we've already made plans. We're going to go get some drugs, and we're going to come to, like. But we'll get you because beer. So I was drinking beers, and we're listening to music and we're talking about stuff. And they went. They were, like, disappeared. Came back and they had went out because I told them, just don't do it around me ever, please. And they're like, we won't. So they even, like, got in their car and, like, drove off and came back a half hour later. And they're both nodding off and some. And they're like, you just don't get it. I'm like, that doesn't look fun to me. Like, you nodding out and dropping your cigarette and burning holes in the corner carpet so you just don't understand unless you felt it. And I was like, all right, well, you know what? I want to understand because I still think it seems silly. And I tried it. And me and that girl, after I did it, I threw up a couple times. Me and that girl laid and watched a movie. All four of us watched a movie. And we cuddled. And no lie. And it sounds silly, but I really felt like we just melted together. And I was like, we are one. We are one person. And then, like, they fell asleep and we made love and I threw up. And we made. And it really was, like, so amazing. I was like, I love this feeling. But I was like, but I can't do it. I'm not going to do it all time. So then it became every, like, other weekend, I would party with them with heroin. But it lasted, like, four months. By four months, it was like, only weekends. Only Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, you know? And then I was hooked. It just caught up on me quick.
- [67:28]
Adam Carolla
So, wow, a great tale. And I Appreciate your candor. And also when you get your biological dad story sorted, because you're in town, right?
- [67:45]
J. Muse
I am, I am. And I leave a little bit and I come back. I only usually leave for the weekends. Like same. Like I go to Appleton this Friday. Sorry, Sunday, Wisconsin. Yeah. Do a show there. So I'm gonna go do some show, then I come back and I'm home for the week.
- [68:01]
Adam Carolla
So come and share that story. Definitely figure out how it works out. Jay, five Things with J. Muse. Also the podcast the Murdoch Mysteries as well. We'll take a quick break and we'll bring Alicia Kraus in and do the news right after this. American Giant. Being dependable means that you're prepared for anything. So whether it's locking the door on the way out or having a travel kit in your car, I like to stay ready. And that's why I like a good hoodie that will last for years to come. The American Giant Classic Full zip hoodie. Wearing mine right now is styled for everyday comfort and crafted for a lifetime of durability. I've had this one for a while. It's got pockets, which I need too. Nice up front and it just gets more comfortable as you wash it. It's got a custom heavyweight fleece and side panels for mobility. And I love this. Every American Giant piece is made. Made in America. No exceptions. It's the kind of difference you'll feel and appreciate for years to come. It's heavy duty stuff. Made in America. Invest in yourself because it's good stuff. Am I right, Dawson?
- [69:36]
J. Muse
Stay ready for anything with the American giant classic full zip and save 20% off your first order@american-giant.com. when you use code Adam at check checkout, that's 20 off your first order@american.g. code Adam.
- [69:50]
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Adam Carolla
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- [69:56]
J. Muse
This is the mindset.
- [69:57]
Alicia Krause
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- [69:58]
J. Muse
This is the mantra.
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Adam Carolla
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J. Muse
This is the mindset.
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- [70:26]
J. Muse
It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Adam, happy day. Handsome Joe Hanley from northern Maine, where the average age is menopause. There's only two sex positions in this down. Teeth in or teeth out. Hey, your table is shaped like my left nut. Happy day. You can leave us a message at 888-634174. 4.
- [70:54]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Thank you, whatever that guy's name was. Alicia Krause is in the studio. Got bad news. Alicia Krause.
- [71:06]
Alicia Krause
Uh oh, I'm fired.
- [71:07]
Adam Carolla
Found a Hungarian place and it's not good. Ordered chicken paprikash. Not good. Uh oh, not good.
- [71:14]
Alicia Krause
You make it better at home.
- [71:16]
Adam Carolla
I do?
- [71:16]
Alicia Krause
Yep.
- [71:17]
Adam Carolla
My grandpa did. My nanny did Olga. Now, here's the thing. I've conquered my first mountain, which is many, many years ago, when I was just at the Acme Theater and making no money. I said to the theater director, Mark Sweeney, I go, I don't know. What do you think for me, Ryder, comedian. I don't know if I'm in front of the camera, behind the camera, a creator, or if I'm talent, but you're my director. You've been here for a while, you've seen me write, and you've seen me perform. So is it writing? Is my future maybe in writing, or is my future in performing? Oh, that time he said, you're right. Not a performer, but thanks. But he said, yeah, he said writer. Later on, he just came up to me and he goes, you just need a job where you show up every day and you just talk about everything you're thinking about all day.
- [72:18]
Alicia Krause
So he invented podcasting.
- [72:19]
Adam Carolla
He invented podcasting in 1990, and he made a magical job. And now I've lived my dream by creating a magical job. But my next goal, my next choice job for myself is I just go tell everyone what's wrong with their shit. You know what I mean? I go back to the place that made the chicken.
- [72:39]
Alicia Krause
Consultant.
- [72:40]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but this is universal.
- [72:41]
Alicia Krause
This is everything from the restaurant to the construction site to the government, everything
- [72:47]
Adam Carolla
where I go, what the fuck? Like, I'll do it with auto manufacturing. I will do it with all the ergonomic stuff that doesn't really make sense. Like, every. I was literally in a club, and I think it had a handle, like a big looping handle on it. And I was. And I pulled on it, but it was push.
- [73:10]
Alicia Krause
Oh, that's cool.
- [73:10]
Adam Carolla
But it's because they have a handle on it that I. Right. If you look at this door, there's a handle on the inside. On the outside, there's a push plate, so no one ever pulls it. Just weird shit like that.
- [73:22]
Alicia Krause
The attention to detail that matters in the end.
- [73:26]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And, like, just. You could go through a comedy club if you've been through enough comedy clubs and just go, you need to fix this. You need to fix that. I would go to the Hungarian food place. And I just go, your chicken paprikash is kind of bland tasting and it's also weird. You want a weird direction on it. I don't know what you're doing, but there's. This is nothing like Laszlo Gorog's. And you can just go type in Google in traditional chicken paprikash. And it's pretty much, I've done it. It's real straightforward.
- [73:58]
Alicia Krause
I feel like for fall football, you need to make the whole crew here some chicken paprikash.
- [74:03]
Adam Carolla
It sounds like the dumplings. The no kettle is the great part too. And they screwed that up, too. But okay. I was in Nebraska for some reason, and I don't know why, but I got on to artichoke dip later in life.
- [74:22]
Alicia Krause
Oh, it's delicious.
- [74:23]
Adam Carolla
The best. I don't know what's so good about it, but it's good. Yeah, Artichoke dip. And you know, you get it at the sports bar, wherever, and it's got the cheese melted and you're dipping the chips in it.
- [74:36]
Alicia Krause
So sometimes bread.
- [74:37]
Adam Carolla
I got your. That's true.
- [74:39]
Alicia Krause
It's like if it's a nice sourdough.
- [74:41]
Adam Carolla
I was at a nice place in Nebraska, Norfolk, and I said, oh, I saw artichoke dip. And I said, oh, that's nice. Because it was like a high end place. Well, their artichoke dip is artichoke.
- [75:03]
Alicia Krause
And often with spinach.
- [75:06]
Adam Carolla
Spinach. Spinach. Which is like, there is such a thing as spinach dip and there is such a thing as artichoke dip. And I kind of want artichoke dip. But you do artichoke and spinach together. Okay. Not as good as artichoke, but okay. Also, then what they do, what they don't tell you is they put tons of pieces of red bell pepper in it and it completely fucks it up. That's odd. Yes. And I want to just go back and go, don't do it. Don't do it. People order artichoke dip because they want artichoke dip. And you got your pieces of bell pepper. And by the way, between the bell pepper and the spinach, there was almost no artichoke. And the artichoke dip and it tasted more like bell pepper. And I like bell pepper, but it's on a kebab or something.
- [75:59]
Alicia Krause
No, that's not what I ordered.
- [76:00]
Adam Carolla
That's not what I'm picturing when I ordered. And they go, this is how we do our art. And all I want to do is go in and fix every fucking thing. All right? So I Could do it. I could watch you do your comedy act.
- [76:14]
Alicia Krause
How would you want to get paid? Like, would it be a percentage of.
- [76:18]
Adam Carolla
I'll tell you how I'd do it. I'd do it how Radiohead releases an album, okay? I just go. I'd barge into the kitchen at the restaurant. I'd scream at them about bell pepper and their artichoke dip. And then. And I'd go, anything you want to contribute?
- [76:34]
Alicia Krause
So you do it for free?
- [76:36]
Adam Carolla
Well, no. Radiohead made a lot of money.
- [76:38]
Alicia Krause
You're like, just please give me something. Tips.
- [76:41]
Adam Carolla
What did Radiohead. Radiohead took their album, they released it on the Internet, and they said, pay or don't pay. And the average payment was like, $80 or something. You know that one?
- [76:52]
Alicia Krause
That's crazy.
- [76:53]
Adam Carolla
That's a Dawson story there, man. Never they. Famously, maybe kind of vanguard of the Internet. Let's see. Pay what you want. Radiohead. That's right. I'm gonna go to Nebraska, and when I barge in the kitchen, the guy doesn't speak English. I'm gonna go, El Radiohead O. He'll know the reference, and then he'll pay what he wants.
- [77:17]
Alicia Krause
El Radiohead.
- [77:19]
Adam Carolla
Rado heads in rainbows. Pay what you want. Experiment was a major financial success, earning an estimated 3 million in digital sales within the first few months. While many of the fans downloaded for free, the average price paid was roughly $6. Yeah, but this is in 2000. What was that? $8.
- [77:49]
Alicia Krause
But apparently the physical CD and vinyl sold 100,000 copies with $80 a box set.
- [77:55]
Adam Carolla
Oh, that's where $80. That's where 80 came from. This is in 2000. Or as Andrew would write on the screen, 200. But there's no way we're going back that far.
- [78:07]
Alicia Krause
They had CDs and the Internet.
- [78:09]
Adam Carolla
Oh, 2006, 200 BC. Oh, he's looking for one more digit ad. Yeah. 07. So this is almost 20 years ago. And they ended up making how much money?
- [78:20]
Alicia Krause
3 million on digital sales over. So 100,000 times 80 bucks. How much is that? That was for the digital.
- [78:28]
Adam Carolla
That's 8 million for the.
- [78:30]
Alicia Krause
Dang. Yeah, so apparently they sold by 2008, the sales of that album exceeded, like, over almost to 2 million.
- [78:39]
Adam Carolla
Wow.
- [78:40]
Alicia Krause
So.
- [78:40]
Adam Carolla
So that's why I'm adopting the Radiohead model. When I go in to the Hungarian place and start attacking their chicken paprikash, they will pay me what it's worth.
- [78:51]
Alicia Krause
Radiohead was giving their music to the world. They weren't giving a fu. You artichoke dip.
- [78:57]
Adam Carolla
I Am going to help you.
- [78:58]
Alicia Krause
When you're delivering salty news to people, I think they're less inclined to pay you for it.
- [79:02]
Adam Carolla
Speaking of salty, that artichoke dip was way too much sodium. All right, what do you got in the news department?
- [79:09]
Alicia Krause
Right. Well, this is really scary. And not too far from the studio up in Valencia at a Whole Foods, a woman who was shopping was subjected to a man who not only exposed himself to her. In the footage, the suspect is seen approaching the female shopper as she kneels down to get something from the shelf. And then he lowers his pants and proceeds to expose his genitals and push them against her ear while holding what appears to be a cell phone. Like, I guess he recorded it. Authorities with the LASD are asking for the public's assistance in identifying this individual. So please, Corolla fans, get out there and find this turd bag. The California Post reached out to the Whole Foods, and the company provided a statement which read, quote, we are deeply concerned about the incident and that occurred at our Valencia store on March 23. The safety and well being of our customers is our top priority, and we are cooperating fully with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department in their investigation. The suspect is believed to be a man in his mid-30s. He was dressed in a denim shirt and jeans. Did you see this video yet?
- [80:10]
Adam Carolla
I'm watching it now. Yeah.
- [80:15]
Alicia Krause
Okay, so, like, if a man was in my space even before he pulled his dong out, I would be like, why are you so close to me in the grocery store?
- [80:25]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I. I agree. First off, this guy, it looks like he has a musk. You know what I mean? Like, I think you could smell this guy coming your way. There are people who have no radar dish on them, and they kind of go through life. They're, like, looking at their phone and stuff. Like, my head is on a swivel. I'm seeing cars that don't look right and dogs that don't look right and people that don't belong. And I'm always like, that way. I'll see people walking.
- [80:58]
Alicia Krause
Well, not even looked across the street.
- [81:00]
Adam Carolla
Yes, they look at their phone while they're across the street. But there's also those people, like, if I walk with somebody and we're just taking a walk, I will, like, see in the distance. I'll go, let's cross the street this dude back. I don't like the way this guy's walking or whatever. They go, what are you talking about? You know? And I realized they don't, like, notice at all that the person's, like, drunk or walking weird or looks like mental disorder. Yeah.
- [81:27]
Alicia Krause
I think that I have to say that women are guilty of this, I think, more often than men. And if I am constantly, like, driving into my children, you know, the things that you repeat that you feel like nobody listens to you, but they're getting better at it of, like, situational awareness, like, self awareness.
- [81:44]
Adam Carolla
Situational awareness is kind of a weird combo for women. I'm 100% that way. I have hypervigilance, and I notice everything for good or for bad, and it keeps me out of car accidents, but it also disturbs me when people are talking outside the studio. So it's something you can't shut off.
- [82:04]
Alicia Krause
Yep.
- [82:05]
Adam Carolla
But women need it more.
- [82:09]
Alicia Krause
Yes.
- [82:09]
Adam Carolla
And they don't have it as much,
- [82:13]
Alicia Krause
which shocks me because.
- [82:14]
Adam Carolla
Which is weird because they're so tuned up with kids, they can hear the kid coughing in the other room at night.
- [82:19]
Alicia Krause
It's scientifically proven to be, like, hormonal, though. Like, there is, like, a hormone and, like, brain balance. When you have a baby, how a baby's cry for the first two years will literally make you crazy because you know that you need to do something about it.
- [82:32]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. But I'm saying, like, in general, it's for them to notice. With the kids, it should be more.
- [82:39]
Alicia Krause
Or general, it should be for them, like, because we are the. And I say lesser sex with quotations, meaning physical strength. Yeah.
- [82:47]
Adam Carolla
Not according to Whoopi Goldberg.
- [82:48]
Alicia Krause
Then we should maybe be more vigilant when we're walking down the street and not look at the phone, because we need to pre anything that could potentially happen to us.
- [82:58]
Adam Carolla
Yes.
- [82:59]
Alicia Krause
And I guess I was raised that way, and I'm trying to raise my girls that way. It just makes sense to me.
- [83:05]
Adam Carolla
When I'm walking down the street, every car I come up on, I have thoughts about, you should have been a spy. Parked cars. I notice all movement. Everything that's different. I notice everything.
- [83:17]
Alicia Krause
Are you a spy
- [83:20]
Adam Carolla
now?
- [83:20]
Alicia Krause
Comedian and podcast host would be a really good CIA company.
- [83:23]
Adam Carolla
This poor woman, actually, she's going to come home and she's going to say to her husband, you'll never guess what happened. And he's going to go, they were out of capers. No. Why are you crying? Because they're out of capers. And if the guy's really tuned out after she's done saying, the crazy man put a dick in my ear, he's to going. Going to fold the newspaper and go, well, there you go. That's What I'm picturing, I just feel that's where the real trauma kicks.
- [83:57]
Alicia Krause
Not to victim shame, but please, ladies, be more situationally aware and also chase a mfer down if he does this to you.
- [84:04]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [84:05]
Alicia Krause
A guy in Little Italy smacked my butt once, and I chased him two blocks and then yelled at a cop to grab him.
- [84:11]
Adam Carolla
Really?
- [84:11]
Alicia Krause
Yeah. And I'm not even a runner.
- [84:13]
Adam Carolla
You have a sense of. Sense of self worth that far exceeds society. No, I mean, that's good. I. You know, I was thinking about that.
- [84:22]
Alicia Krause
You have to be smart about it. Like, if it's a bigger, scarier guy.
- [84:25]
J. Muse
Yeah.
- [84:25]
Alicia Krause
Like, maybe don't chase him. He could have a weapon. But, like, a lot of times when men exhibit this behavior, I don't know, maybe he gets off by women reacting appalled by it or something. But if you're like, don't touch me. How dare you? They could have probably stopped the guy.
- [84:42]
Adam Carolla
I'm gonna say he's done it before, and I'm gonna say they're gonna find him because there's just a camera everywhere now. And so. Good. All right, what else you got?
- [84:53]
Alicia Krause
All right, so apparently you can do a lot of things in the NBA, but if you say that Pride Month is bad, then you're gonna get canned. Did you see the story about the Bulls waving Jaden Ivey after he called NBA's Pride Month celebration, quote, unquote, unreal, righteous. We have some video of it right here.
- [85:09]
Adam Carolla
The world can proclaim lgbtq, Right? They have. They have. They proclaim Pride Month in the NBA. They proclaim it. They. They show it to the world. They say, come, come, come join us for Pride. For Pride Month to celebrate unrighteousness. They proclaim it. They proclaim it on the billboards. They proclaim it in the streets. Unrighteousness. So how is it it that one can't speak righteousness? How is it one that. How are they to say that, man, this man is crazy?
- [86:09]
Alicia Krause
So the Chicago Bulls announced that they were making the move on Monday, saying it was, quote, unquote, due to conduct detrimental to the team.
- [86:17]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah. So, okay, things, thoughts. It's weird that sports got more woke than other branches of our soc. ESPN is a lot more woke than ESPN could be more woke than CNN at this point. At this point.
- [86:40]
Alicia Krause
But not Ms. Now.
- [86:41]
Adam Carolla
No, it's teetering. No. But CNN changed course a little and put on alternative voices. And their idea, by the way, I do like. It's sort of like the View and cnn. Their idea of fair and balance is we'll put one guy in between three super angry chicks or maybe five angry chicks, and then he can try to defend himself. And now we have a debate. It's like, yeah, it's still tilted pretty hard, but. All right, sports got woke. And I think it's an overcompensation type situation. Like traditionally, sports were violence amongst each other and domestic. I mean, look, the whole thing, thing is the baseline for sports is we are taking guys that are the worst student in their high school and making them millionaires and a lot of them are bad dudes, you know what I mean? So that's the base. Then there was a lot of sexism and there was racism and it was everything that was wrong with society you could find in sports. And I think the purveyors of sports overcompensate because of it in the other direction.
- [87:57]
Alicia Krause
But they're kind of selective in that compensation. Cuz they don't get onto the guy that might have an illegal weapon or committed the domestic violence charge.
- [88:05]
Adam Carolla
No, not at all.
- [88:06]
Alicia Krause
They do. It's a Christian dude.
- [88:08]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Because they're very keen to want to be accepted in our society. And it's also a culture if you have 70% of the roster's black, having a gun or whatever, it's not a big deal in their world.
- [88:24]
Alicia Krause
But loving Jesus.
- [88:25]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, they do tend to love Jesus more than the white man, I think, statistically. But the point is this. Yes, they fire him. We all know what they're doing. This is woke bullshit. Now here's the whole thing about the LGBT whatever community. I look at it the same as I look at the Muslim community, which is you can be Muslim or you can be gay, you can't be gay and Muslim, but you could be Muslim or you can be gay. And I have zero thoughts about it and zero problems with it. And I'm also gonna say, as much as these assholes would argue this point, America's extremely tolerant to people and their different ideas and their different proclivities and their different ways of life and their different ways of expressing love. We don't want to be force fed your bullshit all fucking day. Yeah, that's what we push back against. We don't push back against Muslims. We push back against mandatory Muslim recognition night at the WNBA or whatever the fuck you're planning next. The LGBT community, fine, you guys have an agenda. And so the thing is, is go be gay, go be trans, go be whatever the fuck you want. But now you're gonna insist that we gotta fly the gay flag. In front of the courthouse. And now you can fuck off because I don't wanna be part of it. You understand? I'm gonna be indoctrinated into your bullshit?
- [90:00]
Alicia Krause
Or that the NBA needs to have
- [90:02]
Adam Carolla
money and by the way, like the Muslims, it's not. We just want people to tolerate us and live. No, you wanna foist an agenda, that's what you're doing. If you don't, there's a version of quietly going about your business. This ain't it. You don't need to have the gay flag. You don't need to have pride Month. You don't need to do the thing on the lawn of the White House. You can just go about your life. Yeah, and then people push back and then you get the claim that they're homophobic and you feel threatened. No, no, it's because you won't shut up about it.
- [90:37]
Alicia Krause
What's funny too is in a separate video he talked about how Catholicism is this false religion and Catholics weren't like, fire him.
- [90:45]
Adam Carolla
Right. And so the NBA, but they responded to the ones who shits about the gay community has to pretend they do. Just like the NFL and all these organizations. Just like they had to do it with Black Lives Matter. Yeah, yeah. So. And by the way, if you notice, all these groups, they're there to agitate. They're not there to be left alone and peacefully practice either the religion or sucking dick.
- [91:07]
Alicia Krause
No, they want you to talk about. They want tolerance. And their version of tolerance is complete and total acceptance. And also doing whatever they tell you to do.
- [91:16]
Adam Carolla
I'll take it a step further. I think if you did everything they wanted you to do, it would never end. It would never end. It would never.
- [91:29]
Alicia Krause
It's like an abusive relationship.
- [91:32]
Adam Carolla
It's like, it's an entire leftist thing. It's like, here's what we want here. And so you look at the whole gay thing. They go, we just want to be left alone and be married and have the same rights as whatever.
- [91:45]
Alicia Krause
We were born this way.
- [91:46]
Adam Carolla
All right, every time you give them something, what do they do? Well, we want some nine foot, he, she with his cock tuck between his legs to read to your kids Cat in the hat. And you go, what? I don't want to do that. They go, oh, here. Homophobic are after.
- [92:03]
Alicia Krause
Some people accept that. Then they're like, well, we actually want to transition your 12 year old.
- [92:07]
Adam Carolla
And blacks, gays, all those groups are all doing the same shit, which is, you're fine, we're in a good society, go do whatever you want. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. They keep pushing, they keep agitating. And when. I'm telling you, when people step back and look at these moments, it's not going to be a about. Just give them what they want. What they want is capitulation by you. But it's also. They're just gonna keep going. It's a psychodynamic and it's basically bullshit. All they wanna do is complain about everything and they wanna be victims all the time. So they're gonna keep pushing until some point. You go, no, I don't want those books in my public library. And they go, oh, okay, now for fight it. Because that's the plan. Yeah, the plan is to fight, not to be left alone. So fuck the NBA. And they don't give a shit about gay pride. And by the way, I wonder if
- [93:04]
Alicia Krause
it was the NBA decision or the Bulls decision, because according to this FOX Sports report, it was the Bulls that. That was announcing the move.
- [93:11]
Adam Carolla
I get it. But no, nobody wants any of this anywhere. But you can do it whenever. I just want to go to the sporting event. I don't want to see any of the signage for any of this.
- [93:23]
Alicia Krause
You want to see it?
- [93:24]
Adam Carolla
That's it.
- [93:24]
Alicia Krause
And I guess, I don't know, I'm not really into basketball. But he was averaging over 11 points a game.
- [93:30]
Adam Carolla
That's it.
- [93:30]
Alicia Krause
And five rebounds per game before this release. Is that good?
- [93:34]
Adam Carolla
11 points is pretty good. I don't follow it closely enough either, but 11 points is pretty good. Now we'll see if ESPN, who cares so much about the plight of the black man, we'll see if they rushed his defense, because I guarantee if a white guy fired the black man guy. ESPN loves themselves some black dudes. Let's see if they defend him. Because I bet they don't say shit because they're cowards.
- [93:57]
Alicia Krause
Maybe another team should pick him up.
- [93:59]
J. Muse
Yeah, you know.
- [94:00]
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
- [94:01]
Alicia Krause
I mean, I like people getting jobs based on their qualities and merit, not. Not sympathy hires. But, you know, that might be a good PR move for another team to pick him up.
- [94:10]
Adam Carolla
Nevada's got a team called the Running Christians.
- [94:13]
Alicia Krause
Really?
- [94:13]
Adam Carolla
No, that'd be a good name.
- [94:16]
Alicia Krause
I was like, I didn't know Nevada even. Does Nevada have a basketball team?
- [94:19]
Adam Carolla
Nah, they don't, but they're gonna. I mean, they got the Raiders, they got the Knights, they got. They got the A's, they got the Oakland A's.
- [94:26]
Alicia Krause
The only pro team in Oklahoma is a basketball team.
- [94:29]
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
- [94:30]
Alicia Krause
Thunder? We're. Yeah.
- [94:32]
Adam Carolla
Nebraska doesn't have any ne.
- [94:35]
Alicia Krause
But I mean they have the Huskers. You got good college football or good college basketball. Apparently they have a good bowling team too. That's what they're bragging about.
- [94:42]
Adam Carolla
Oklahoma's got the Sooners.
- [94:44]
Alicia Krause
We do. Do we do. And the Cowboys. But Boomer. Okay, next story. This hysterical moment. This lady has some dance moves like I wish I had after a couple of cocktails. Footage shows miss Grand Thailand competition contestant Dara Thorne. You thong. Who was frantically dancing in the preliminary rounds of the competition wearing nothing but a swimsuit as well as other contestants. So we figured you would like this, Adam. She quickly captures the attention of thousands of people watching outline online. She showed her aggressive hip hop dance move without any concern for what people think. I guess this was like at the beginning and they're all supposed to show a little bit of her personality. She's like fully. All of the memes around this were kind of funny.
- [95:34]
Adam Carolla
It's kind of interesting that Thai women are very light and she isn't light skinned. And there's a lot of Asian with whitening stuff going on. Do you know all about that?
- [95:46]
J. Muse
No.
- [95:47]
Adam Carolla
They're Indian. There's the whole thing with Indian women lightening their skin.
- [95:53]
Alicia Krause
That's sad.
- [95:53]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [95:54]
Alicia Krause
But like for like beauty looks like they think. Cause it's prettier or because it's just
- [95:58]
Adam Carolla
because they do a lot of nighttime jogging.
- [96:02]
Alicia Krause
Like they think it's like a beauty. Is that like one of the beauty.
- [96:05]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Everything women do is a beauty.
- [96:06]
Alicia Krause
Something just don't over pluck your eyebrows, guys. This isn't the only hilar. Scariest thing that happened.
- [96:11]
J. Muse
But she's.
- [96:12]
Adam Carolla
Do Thai women lighten themselves like Indian women? It's a big. They have all these creams and all. In Indian women. It's a big thing.
- [96:23]
Alicia Krause
Interesting.
- [96:24]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [96:24]
Alicia Krause
She was one of 77 women representing all the different provinces in the national pageant. And some people are saying that they love her because she looks like she's genuinely fun to be with. She's the life of the party. And God forbid a girl does what she likes on the dance floor. Floor.
- [96:40]
Adam Carolla
Was she. Now you watch that tape again. Was she two shades lighter than every other woman on that stage? I should say darker.
- [96:47]
Alicia Krause
No, I think she was darker.
- [96:48]
Adam Carolla
Darker. Yeah. She was darker than every other woman on that stage. And there were 20 women on that stage. Right.
- [96:56]
Alicia Krause
There's a lot of women on that stage.
- [97:02]
Adam Carolla
So I love this.
- [97:03]
Alicia Krause
I love overwatching it.
- [97:05]
Adam Carolla
They're all light and she's darker. Which I'm.
- [97:09]
Alicia Krause
So she just Looks like she has a nice tan.
- [97:11]
Adam Carolla
I know, but they're doing something. Cause they don't have a nice tan.
- [97:15]
Alicia Krause
I like to have a tan. Is that weird?
- [97:18]
Adam Carolla
That's your white privilege. All right, so let's see what they say in India. So I'm saying this may go along with it. She may be a rebel.
- [97:27]
Alicia Krause
She's like, rebel with the skin tone. Rebel with the dance moves.
- [97:31]
Adam Carolla
Skin lightening is prevalent in Thailand. Thailand. Driven by historical, social, and commercial factors similar to India. Jesus Christ. How was I a D minus student? D minus.
- [97:44]
Alicia Krause
Because they didn't test on things like beauty pageants. Lightening their skin. That was not a category in your world history class.
- [97:51]
Adam Carolla
Skin lightening is prevalent in Thailand. So these women are lightening themselves. And the dance to the beat of our own drummer woman is not playing.
- [98:03]
Alicia Krause
Her name is Dera Thorne. I hope I'm saying that right.
- [98:06]
Adam Carolla
She's doing her own thing. And I argue that her own thing gets into the skin part too, which she's not lightening herself.
- [98:13]
Alicia Krause
Good for her.
- [98:14]
Adam Carolla
I agree. Cause watch it one more time. Every woman on a stage has the same skin tone except for the one who's dancing her little hiney off. And for Thai women, for her to do that in heels for Thai women, they look really light. Right? All right. Thai women in beauty pageants, light. These are. These women are kind of milky. Light. This is Thailand.
- [98:46]
Alicia Krause
Did you see the one? This wasn't the only one.
- [98:47]
Adam Carolla
Have you done any sex tourist stuff? No. All right, well, I have. And I can tell you this is unnatural.
- [98:55]
Alicia Krause
It's okay. I love how they were like, the assignment is to dance. And she's the only one who took it seriously. The others are just, like, bopping her around.
- [99:03]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [99:04]
Alicia Krause
Like, and. But it also wasn't the only funny moment from this pageant. There was another contestant who lost her teeth while giving an answer in the Q and A.
- [99:12]
Adam Carolla
No way.
- [99:12]
Alicia Krause
Yeah.
- [99:14]
Adam Carolla
What?
- [99:14]
Alicia Krause
She, like, fully lost her, like, fake pretty teeth.
- [99:18]
Adam Carolla
Oh, my God.
- [99:19]
Alicia Krause
And like, had to, like, pop him back in. The crowd didn't turn on her, though. They applauded. They thought it was great that she, like, popped him back in and kept giving the answer. I mean, so clearly we need a Ms. Congeniality 3 that is solely based on Thai beauty package.
- [99:32]
Adam Carolla
We also need an all natural type beauty pageant where they're not lightening themselves.
- [99:36]
Alicia Krause
How about we just do all natural beauty pageants where none of the contestants anywhere in the world don't do anything fake. That'd be nice.
- [99:44]
Adam Carolla
Oh. Oh, yeah.
- [99:45]
Alicia Krause
Here we go. Here's the teeth.
- [99:51]
J. Muse
Wow.
- [99:55]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, they're all. They do weird light. Light in themselves. I'm sorry, I'm still on it, but I don't know if that's like fake teeth or like a weird veneer grill thing.
- [100:05]
Alicia Krause
I don't. It looked like it was like a dentures. Almost like the glue.
- [100:08]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but there was stuff under.
- [100:10]
Alicia Krause
No, they started to pop out and then she kind of took it out, turned around.
- [100:13]
Adam Carolla
Oh, so you don't think she has any teeth?
- [100:15]
Alicia Krause
I think she might, but maybe they're cover.
- [100:16]
J. Muse
I don't know.
- [100:17]
Adam Carolla
No, that was like a grill.
- [100:19]
Alicia Krause
Really?
- [100:20]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Versus dentures.
- [100:21]
Alicia Krause
I thought a grill was like, shining.
- [100:24]
Adam Carolla
That's when black people do it. Thai people do it. They make it look natural.
- [100:29]
Alicia Krause
Oh, okay. But it's still called a grill.
- [100:32]
Adam Carolla
I don't know. I'm referencing a thing where teeth go over things. Go over your teeth.
- [100:38]
Alicia Krause
Yes. I don't think that she was wearing a grill in the beauty pageant. I think she was wearing fake teeth.
- [100:43]
Adam Carolla
All right, I used the term grill. That's. Anyway, okay. We'll figure it out.
- [100:49]
Alicia Krause
Off the air, loud talking and Alicia stepping on his point.
- [100:52]
Adam Carolla
That's right.
- [100:53]
Alicia Krause
Thing.
- [100:53]
Adam Carolla
Go to AdamCroll.com for all the live shows. April 10 in Salt Lake City and then also in San Diego on the 12th. And then I'm all over the place. Phoenix. Check out some new stuff. We got the Merch store. Go to amcrol.com for all the live stuff there. Alicia Krause, what do we got for you?
- [101:13]
Alicia Krause
Just on the socials and maybe in a city near you soon.
- [101:16]
Adam Carolla
And also JMU's the Murdoch Mysteries. You can check that out as well. Wherever you find Finder podcast. And until next time, Adam Kroll, Jamie and Alicia Krause and me, Sam Mahala, Pick up your phone and leave us
- [101:34]
J. Muse
a voicemail at 8. At 863-41744 and be sure and get tickets to see the ace man@adamcola.com.
- [101:47]
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Adam Carolla
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Alicia Krause
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J. Muse
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Adam Carolla
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with VRBoCare. Help is always ready before, during and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind.