Jesse Ventura + Jo Koy (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show “Carolla Classics”: Jesse Ventura + Jo Koy (Nov 8, 2025)

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Overview

This “Carolla Classics” episode is a curated revisit of memorable moments from the Adam Carolla Show. The episode features two major classic segments from 2014: an in-depth, lively call-in interview with Jesse Ventura (former governor, wrestler, and perennial anti-establishment voice), and a hilarious, freewheeling appearance by comedian Jo Koy alongside Gavin McInnes. True to Carolla’s style, the conversations blend irreverent comedy, cultural commentary, spirited debates, and personal anecdotes.

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Main Segments and Key Discussion Points

1. Jesse Ventura Interview and "Off the Grid" (Starting ~13:34)

Participants: Adam Carolla, Jesse Ventura (call-in), Allison Rosen, Monica Mehta, Brian “Bald Brian” Bishop

Highlights & Discussion Topics:

• Jesse’s Life Off the Grid:

  • Ventura shares why he’s gone completely “off the grid,” living in Mexico and refusing to fly due to his frustration with TSA security after 9/11 and what he calls the “criminalization” of air travelers.
    • “I quit flying and I do not participate in air travel anymore. I haven't now for about five years.” – Jesse Ventura (13:48)
  • He recounts a tale about being patted down as Governor in the Minneapolis airport and bemoans the lack of “common sense” in such policies.

• Dysfunction in American Politics:

  • Ventura rails against the two-party system (“Democrats and Republicans, they've been in charge for 150 years. They are responsible. The buck stops there.” – 17:53), advocating for true political independents and repeating Jerry Garcia’s line:
    • “When you're made to pick the lesser of two evils, you're still picking evil.” – Jesse Ventura quoting Jerry Garcia (18:23)
  • Ventura discusses what his platform would be if he ran for president – he’d be the first since George Washington with no party, but admits he could do “nothing” because of the system’s structure.

• Conspiracy, Power, and the Media:

  • Adam and Jesse argue how system “bribery” inhibits political change and discuss Jesse’s reputation as a “fringe” figure. Ventura makes clear he draws a line between his entertainment career in wrestling and his anti-establishment worldview: “Excuse me, that's entertainment.” (23:15)
  • Adam plays devil’s advocate, probing Ventura on conspiracy theories and presidential legacies.

• Energy, Technology, and the Future:

  • Adam runs a lightning round with “King Ventura” hypothetically making policy on energy. Jesse strongly opposes nuclear and coal, advocates for solar and wind, and claims the government blocks “free energy” innovations à la Nikola Tesla (26:46–27:22).

• Living Outside the System:

  • Jesse describes his life with his wife and dog in Mexico, making his “dream job” show “Off the Grid,” free from the FCC and government oversight.

• Reflections on Achievement & Legacy:

  • Adam praises people like Ventura for having “a motor” and living “five lives in one,” noting Ventura’s history as a Navy SEAL, wrestler, actor, governor, etc. (34:32)

Notable Quotes:

• “The whole system is based on the concept of bribery. ... In the public sector, that's the status quo.” – Jesse Ventura (24:41)
• “I'm always going to give extra respect to a Navy SEAL, even if he's a little chubby and BALD now.” – Adam Carolla (33:52)

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2. The Entrepreneurial Instinct with Monica Mehta (Starting ~43:05)

Participants: Monica Mehta, Adam, Allison, Brian

Highlights:

• Monica stresses the need for risk-taking and debunks the myth that being thorough and safe is the best route. “If you want to be an entrepreneur, you must take risks.” (48:38)
• Discusses brain science around risk aversion and why overemphasis on safety can be stifling.
  • “85% of us are wired to feel fear first.” – Monica Mehta (55:20)
• Explores how risk-taking is both impulsive and adaptable and criticizes the American culture’s tendency to “play it safe.”
• Talks about why Texas is a hotspot for entrepreneurs due to its culture and boomtown economics.

Memorable Exchange:

• Adam: “If I only accepted excellence, I'd be divorced and living in a very unexcellent apartment somewhere in Van Nuys.” (45:12)

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3. Everyday Life Riffs, News, and Signature Carolla Banter

Topics include:

• Adam’s early-morning Stern interview and weirdness of being awake at 4:51 am (02:28–08:26)
• Dogs and their singular focus on food, late-night joggers, and the secret life of spiders (06:19–12:14)
• The decline of the cassette tape, mediocrity, and marking the “small stuff” (43:32–45:56)
• Parenting anecdotes about play-it-safe culture, riding in car seats, ziplining fears, and family arguments over where to eat dinner (53:26–98:00)
• Saving leftovers, waste aversion, and cosmic principles of not wasting food (100:44–102:10)

Best Adam Rant (on comfort and waste):

• “My whole thing is I want to go down in a huge dirigible accident. ... I don't want it to be a $3 fan belt that kills me.” (84:48)

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4. Jo Koy & Gavin McInnes: Comedy, Culture, and Canada (Starting ~104:27)

Participants: Adam Carolla, Jo Koy, Gavin McInnes, Allison Rosen

Jo Koy Banter:

• Jo Koy and Adam riff on animals, the sadness of a squirrel’s existence, and the hierarchies of pathetic public sights (106:16–111:24)
• Discussion of oddball childhood roller skates (“adjustable metal skates with a leather strap... it was an iron maiden for your foot”—115:37)

Gavin McInnes on Canada and Vice magazine:

• McInnes unpacks the cultural and political oddities of Quebec and the Canadian obsession with distinguishing itself from both the US and English Canada.
• “Quebec was founded by soldiers from France and prostitutes. So the general IQ there is pretty low.” – Gavin McInnes (155:21)
• Critique of government overreach: “Just keep the fucking street lights on, fill the potholes, stop the violent crime, and then shut the fuck up.” – Adam Carolla (162:51)

News/Pop Culture:

• Running debate on “comfort” culture: people wearing slippers to work, dressing down on planes, and “the obsession with being comfortable is why there’s such an abortion issue.” – Gavin McInnes (196:29)
• On risk and police advice: “Hey cops: stop telling us to do your job. You do it!” – Adam Carolla (138:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “When you're made to pick the lesser of two evils, you're still picking evil.” – Jesse Ventura (18:23)
• “The only thing on your fucking plate [as a dog] is chow.” – Adam Carolla (06:20)
• “If you want to be an entrepreneur, you must take risks.” – Monica Mehta (48:38)
• “85% of us are wired to feel fear first.” – Monica Mehta (55:20)
• “I'm taking it home. Cause that was something that was alive... it's a cosmic thing for me. It has nothing to do with money.” – Adam Carolla on not wasting food (100:44)
• “It's easy to go, ‘okay, all right, okay, all right’—but anytime somebody was a Navy SEAL... I will always have X amount of respect for you.” – Adam Carolla (33:52)
• “Just government, keep the fucking street lights on... and then shut the fuck up.” – Adam Carolla (162:51)

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Important Timestamps

• 13:34—Jesse Ventura call-in begins, discussing life off the grid and the Fourth Amendment.
• 17:30—Ventura critiques American politics; Jerry Garcia quote.
• 26:06–28:03—Ventura on energy, alternative tech, and government suppression.
• 43:05–56:06—Entrepreneurial risk with Monica Mehta.
• 100:44—Adam’s cosmic, almost spiritual, argument against wasting food.
• 104:27—Joe Koy & Gavin McInnes segment starts.
• 155:21—McInnes’s biting take on Quebec and Canada’s internal divisions.
• 162:51—Adam’s “just fix the potholes” summary of ideal government.

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Tone and Style

Unfiltered, fast-paced, and always irreverent. Adam Carolla’s mix of sharp observational humor, blue-collar wisdom, and cultural skepticism frames every segment—whether tackling politics, technology, family, or daily peculiarity. Guests like Jesse Ventura and Gavin McInnes bring their own strong opinions and anecdotes, fueling Carolla’s signature back-and-forth banter.

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For the Listener

This episode is a quintessential “Carolla Classics” primer: combative but good-natured debate, real talk about politics and risk, a celebration (and send-up) of oddballs and overachievers, and a comedic lens on everyday frustrations. It’s a lively ride, whether you tune in for the deep dives with Jesse Ventura, the practical entrepreneurship chat, or the unfiltered, joke-heavy segments with Jo Koy and Gavin McInnes.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Strawberry Me. Let's talk careers for a second. We all got to have a job, but what you really want is a career. Something that makes you feel like you're actually building something, not just clocking in and clocking out. I talked to Vincent over at Strawberry. Great guy, by the way. First rate people over there. Super nice, smart, and they actually care about helping you move forward. I know that firsthand because I talked to Vincent over there. Strawberry Me helps you go from stuck at work to feeling good about what you do. They'll match you with a career coach who gets your goals. You take a quick quiz and bam, you're on your way. They'll help you figure out what you want, what you're worth, and how to get there. Whether that's negotiating better pay, finding a new gig, or finally moving into something you care about. Head to Strawberry Me ACS to get 50% off your first week. It's your career. Take care of it. That's Strawberry Me acs. Stop settling. Start building the career you actually want.

[Allison Rosen]

Foreign.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Classics I'm your host, super fan, Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Corolla show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla classics available through podcast1.plus we're you can find the ad free archives and if you'd like the ad free archives for the Adam Carolla show, the Adam and Dr. Drew show, or exclusive access to the brand new podcast Beat it out, make sure to check out Adam Carolla substack adamcarolla.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsamco.com.

[Adam Carolla]

Let'S get to the clips, but up.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

First we have adam Kolla Show 1273 featuring Monica Meha, Jesse Venturek, Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop from 2014.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Allison Rosa.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello, Adam Carolla. You look very snazzy on a day when we have no air conditioning.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. And bald Brian, that part is not funny.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

The guy who was the caller in that call, Ent neck, requested that on Twitter Topdrop. He requested a selfie.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, I like that. Yeah, we had a little electrical issue here at the shop and believe it or not, it gets warm in the studio with the lack of circulation and the lights and all. I was doing a little ESPN work today, so I had to get dressed up to do the TV to go out and do a little promotion for the catch a contractor thing. Although I now realize everyone's calling it to Catch a Contractor.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Trained by the NBC show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think it's called Catch a Contractor, but we'll work it out. I also did Stern this morning. I don't. I wish I wasn't such a puss. Like sleep puss. Like I'm a fucking Viking in all other areas, but a sleep drinking puss. Yes, fucking sleep puss. I had to do Stern.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

And on today's episode of Sleep Puss.

[Adam Carolla]

Sleep Puss.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Just a few more hours.

[Adam Carolla]

We now return to Sleep Puss.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Just five more minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam can't find his pointy hat with the weird fuzzy ball on the end of it.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

His night cap.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I had to do Stern. I got to do Stern. And the Stern time was 3:55am Our time, and then I had a full day after that. But it was going to be one of these things where, well, you get up, you do your thing, and then you can go back to bed. But a couple of things. Your thing as being lucid and funny is not the same as you getting up, picking up a friend from an airport, and coming back like that. I'll stay in my bathrobe and by the time I get back to my house, I'll probably, when I fall asleep, wake up the next morning. I probably forgot I did it. This is a wake up, you know, be entertaining.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

There's no sweatpants and slippers in comedy.

[Adam Carolla]

I literally was in my sweatbands and slippers. But there's this part of you that.

[Allison Rosen]

Your brain was well dressed.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's like Lynette was setting the coffee pot for 3:30am instead of the 6:37 in the morning. And I said, there's that weird choice, like I want to get a cup of coffee and me wake up and be funny in front of millions of people. On the other hand, I'd like to go back to bed when I hang up in half an hour instead of drink half a pot of coffee at 4 in the morning. And then what sort of. So I did this move. I always screw myself up with this. But I had my timer and I was going to supposed to call in at 3:55am and we would just chat. The thing with Stern is you could go 14, 16 minutes, you could go an hour, you don't really know. And I did the move where I went to bed at about 32 minutes to midnight. But I wanted to set my little kitchen timer for four hours. I wanted the psychological advantage of doing four hours versus three hours and 52 minutes, which I should have done either way. Got up two minutes to 4am Confuses the shit out of the dog, by the way. Like there's two thoughts I had. One is I woke up and when I got up Molly was like, huh, where are we going boss? Because when I get up, it's time for Molly to get up. So Molly did the move where she was up, but she didn't know why she was up. And she was kind of trotting around the living room and she was like, I don't have to take a piss because I don't normally take a piss at 4 in the morning. But now that I'm up, maybe I'll take a piss. But I'm not sure exactly what this new arrangement is. The great thing about being a dog is I realize there's nothing on your fucking plate except for food.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That's the only thing on your plate.

[Adam Carolla]

The only thing on your fucking plate is chow. And you can then stay up as long as you like or go back to bed. It makes no nevermind. As a matter of fact, this could be Christmas Day or Easter Day for you. Or Sunday. It does not matter. So Molly gets up and she's trotting around with me and. And then I look out my front window after I hang up with Stern, it's about 5am and I see somebody trotting down the street and I have that thing, I think all the time whenever I get up at a weird hour. Does this go on all the time? Is this happening every night?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

What are the chances of coincidence?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm trying to think. I do want to tap that person on the shoulder and I want to go, are you part of my bizarre tableau or were you. Is there some guy with a fucking clipboard going, go, go. Like a headphone. He's up, he's looking out the window.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

We need to Truman show esque.

[Adam Carolla]

Ye. Yeah, like we need to stage this whole weird thing. Or are you just jogging at four?

[Allison Rosen]

Regarding one, regard your eyes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like you just jog at 4:51 every fucking morning. Is this what you do? Fucking pitch black outside.

[Allison Rosen]

And what could you possibly be doing in the daylight hours that make it so that the jogging has to happen at night?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't, I don't. And this is the cusp of like, if it's 6:15 you're a winner and you're, you're out for a jog. If it's 2:30 in the morning, you're walking home from a party. I can't figure out at 4:51 if you just plowed into a parked Car dragged your carcass of a car off to a side street, are shit faced out of your mind and are running for the hills to avoid a dui. Or you're the most on top of it on hardest working, motivated. Like if I don't get my eight miles in now. Well listen, the kids are up at 6am and I gotta make them breakfast. So if I don't get my eight miles in now, I'll never get it in. Then I gotta go volunteer down at the soup kitchen and then I go in to run the Fortune 500 company.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Like if you're the drunk who crashed your car, thank God you're wearing your jogging gear because that's very appropriate.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, when you're drunk you can jog in anything.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Everything's jogging gear.

[Adam Carolla]

Everything's jogging gear when you're drunk. Missing a shoe with one cowboy boot and fur and leather pants like Jim Morrison is jogging gear when you're drunk.

[Allison Rosen]

But you're right, 4am is exactly too early and too late for anything. That's understandable because we get that go getters will do six o', clock, maybe five o'. Clock. But four what is.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this was like 4:51. But it's still in that weird zone of are we coming back from an Oscar party? Really shit faced. Did we sleep with some dude?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I got my money on stockbroker because then the market open early.

[Adam Carolla]

Like could be, don't know. Just, just, just the weird. What are you doing at this hour.

[Allison Rosen]

And more Seems like not even a safe time to jog.

[Adam Carolla]

More importantly. Oh, you want to talk about getting hit by drunk driver? That, that would be, that would, that would be the witching hour of that. And then also does this go on all the time? Like if I got up tomorrow morning at 4:52 and I stood by my front door.

[Allison Rosen]

Only one way to find out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, I'll have one of the kids do it, report back to me. Second one, what are you talking about? So Molly's trotting around following me. I'm talking to Stern and it's great. Stern's always great. Always good to talk to Stern. End up talking for almost an hour and now it's that kind of. I want to go back to bed, but now I'm kind of. I woke myself up, but I got to go do ESPN today. And now Molly's got that what are we doing boss look on her face. And I'm like no. And then this one drove me nuts. I walked into my bathroom, flipped on the light, there was A spider on the wall. And I'm like, oh, you. Are you out? Is this your time? Is this what goes on? It's this thing of like, I feel like the step parent that comes home early from work and finds the 16 year old stepson banging his girlfriend away on the sofa. And you're like, is this. Does this go on every afternoon around 2 o'?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Clock?

[Allison Rosen]

Spiders masturbate in your bathroom.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. This is the time that I'm up. But are you always here?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Usually counting you being away?

[Adam Carolla]

Right then said spider sees me. I think the spider was like, what. What are you doing up? What's up with that? Prostate, old man. So I flip the light on and like there's said spider on the wall. And I'm like, are you always here or is this. Would you not be here if I didn't wake up? And then the thing scurries behind like a mirror that's hanging on the wall. And then I get to. Okay, come on out. Like, I gotta get you. I wanna get you. You're behind this mirror thing. I don't wanna fucking go back to bed with you here.

[Allison Rosen]

You don't want to have to do the thing where you turn out the light, walk away for a second and then turn, come back and flip it on.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's the spider equivalent to the fake tennis ball pump with the dog at the park, you know, So I then I do the thing where it's like the mirror's a little heavy and I can't move it. I'm like blowing like. I'm literally like, I'm going to do a thing where I go to one side and I go. And then it's going to crawl out the other side and I'm going to get it with the tissue paper. But now it's like it's five. I gotta go do espn. I don't want to sit here and have this Mexican standoff at the miniature spider that's on the middle of the wall, though. It's bugging the shit out of me that it's back there somewhere. And that's gonna come out as soon as I fucking shut the light. I just said fuck it, went, went back to bed and then got up and went and did ESPN today. That's why I'm rocking the jacket and slacks and sweating profusely.

[Allison Rosen]

I found an itchy bump thing, which I'm assuming must be a tiny bug bite on like my sort of upper right hip butt area. My fiance Daniel. The most disturbing thing about that drop, we're gonna have to, I know I'll have to say my husband Daniel and so horrible voice that I was not aware sounded like that. Anyway, the most disturbing thing about that though for me that means that there was a bug crawling on my butt hip area in the middle of the night and did it get into my pajamas? Like how did that happen? Because you know my fear of bugs and or mice crawling up my butt or a bird flying straight up there.

[Adam Carolla]

I think they have a certain degree of fear about that as well. I don't know. This is a fear street that runs both directions, my friend.

[Allison Rosen]

Because they smell fear.

[Adam Carolla]

They smell fear. They smell fear on your ass. Yeah, it's true. I don't know. One time I was attacked by something at my grandparents house and it turned out to be rat mites. Oh God. You want to talk about just the shiver that you get that women get when they sleep with a guy that disgusts them because they drank too many wine coolers? That's the shiver you get. Jesse Ventura is on the line. He's on line one. Is he? Oh, line two. Sorry. Jesse.

[Jesse Ventura]

Hi, Adam, how are you?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm doing well. Good to speak to you.

[Jesse Ventura]

Absolutely. It's been a while, a couple, a year or two since I think we did your show in the auto shop there.

[Adam Carolla]

I would say too long, Jesse Ventura.

[Jesse Ventura]

Well, that's because I don't fly no more. You know, I got tired of being treated like a fricking criminal at the airport. So I quit flying and I do not participate in air travel anymore. I haven't now for about five years.

[Adam Carolla]

Off the Grid is the name of the TV show. Tuesday through Friday, 12pm and by the way, that's available exclusively on Aura TV. You don't fly because you don't like the, the nature. I mean not the danger of it. But obviously you're Navy. We're Navy seal or are a Navy seal. But what I'm saying is you don't like the fact that this country treats its citizens like criminals.

[Jesse Ventura]

Exactly. I even went to court over it. I sued over my fourth Amendment because my belief, Adam was. First of all, I've been flying for 30 years. I'm a former governor, a former mayor, I'm an honorably discharged Navy veteran. I, I pose no threat.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jesse Ventura]

So why. But I have metal in my body. So when I go through the metal detector, it's going to go off no matter what. And then from that point on you treated like a criminal.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, two things.

[Jesse Ventura]

I just, I went to court, I sued under the fourth Amendment to the Constitution, the term reasonable. I wanted a jury to say it wasn't reasonable to believe Jesse Ventura's a threat.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jesse Ventura]

Well, it got in front of the federal judge and she threw it out and said she didn't have jurisdiction.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it drives me insane. And first off, you're right, you shouldn't have to do that. But number two, just on a practical side, go with a plastic butt plug. That was a little ass humor for you, Jesse.

[Jesse Ventura]

What are you talking about?

[Adam Carolla]

You said you had metal in your body. I was making an ass joke right over my head.

[Jesse Ventura]

I'm off the grid down here. You can't throw stuff like that at me.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. And it drives me insane that it's a lowest common denominator society that we formed where everybody is basically guilty until proven innocent. And no matter what, we're all just going to have to get in line, get patted down and go through a metal detector. And yeah, you of all people, it's funny when they're recognizing you, wanting to take a picture with you or asking for an autograph, but also telling you to step out of line so they can pat you down and go through your bags.

[Jesse Ventura]

Adam, let me tell you this story quickly. When I was governor of Minnesota, when I was Governor, right after 9, 11, I had to do business out in California. So they bought me a one way ticket. I went to the airport, right? Because it was a one way ticket. The flag went up. I got patted down in the Minneapolis airport while I was the current governor, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jesse Ventura]

Oh, and that don't end there. I tell the kid doing it. I go, when does common sense enter into this? He goes, well, why? I said, you see the two guys in suits waiting for me? He goes, yeah. I said, they're both carrying 9 millimeters. They're getting on the plane with me, right?

[Adam Carolla]

So where do you.

[Jesse Ventura]

I'm getting on the plane with two armed guards of which I can say, give me your gun. And they have to, right.

[Adam Carolla]

Where? Where do you think? What do you think the end game is? And then why? I mean, we talk about you. I don't know if you look at yourself as a conspiracy theorist or not, but what do you think the end game is for the government? Where do you think we're heading in 20 years or 50 years? And whose fault is it?

[Jesse Ventura]

Well, it's our fault and it's martial law where we're in, in my opinion.

[Adam Carolla]

And what's.

[Jesse Ventura]

And it's our fault because we keep electing these people, we keep putting them in office. I'VE been harping and yelling about it. Adam, a baby born today in the United States when it takes its first breath of air, is already $50,000 in debt.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Right.

[Jesse Ventura]

Now, who's responsible? The Democrats and Republicans. They've been in charge for 150 years. They are responsible. The buck stops there. Why do we continue to elect these people?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I feel like they're two choices and we have to make a choice. And for some reason, we get so divided and then we cheer so hard for. We shouldn't be cheering for either one of these groups.

[Jesse Ventura]

Well, let me add the late Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead, I thought, said something very profound. He said, when you're made to pick the lesser of two evils, you're still picking evil.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Yeah. So what would be your plan besides getting off the grid?

[Jesse Ventura]

Well, my plan. I already said that if I ran for president, I would run on one issue and one issue alone, and that would be this. I would give the United States people the opportunity to make history. If they elected me, I would be the first president since George Washington who does not belong to a political party. Imagine that George Washington is the only president we've ever had who does not belong to one of these gangs.

[Adam Carolla]

And what do you think you could get done, realistically, if you were elected president?

[Jesse Ventura]

Nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Jesse Ventura]

They could stop you. Because people need to understand, according to the Constitution, presidents and governors can't make one law.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jesse Ventura]

Congress and legislatures have to do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jesse Ventura]

Governors and presidents lead. But it requires the Congress or the state legislature to make a law. Now we've got presidents now signing executive orders. So the Constitution, again, is getting violated. I think there. Well, really, Adam, what we need to.

[Allison Rosen]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Allison Rosen]

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[Monica Mehta]

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[Allison Rosen]

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[Monica Mehta]

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[Allison Rosen]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Allison Rosen]

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[Monica Mehta]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Allison Rosen]

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[Monica Mehta]

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[Allison Rosen]

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[Jesse Ventura]

We have to go back to the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Those are the fabric of the nation. Snowden's a hero because he exposed the government when the government was violating our fourth amendment and lying to us about it. That makes him a hero.

[Adam Carolla]

But Jesse Ventura, by the way, is on the phone with us. Aura. Tvoffthegrid is the website. And, you know, I'm with you. But then everybody who looks at folks like you, or most people, look at you as sort of fringe nut jobs. Take that in the spirit in which it's intended. But, I mean, they go, oh, come on, these guys. I don't know where you come down on the Tea Party guys.

[Jesse Ventura]

Well, you know, why would they? I don't understand why I'm called a fringe nut job. I mean, I grew up in the Midwest. I served my country in the Navy. I think the Major. You know why I couldn't be president, Adam? Because I couldn't get on TV and lie.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jesse Ventura]

I think today the president's got to be able to get on tv, look at the cameras, look at all the people. And why I can't do that. I tell people the truth. And I guess that makes me a fringe person. I guess that makes me a fringe nut job. I tell the truth.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you have. There's certain, even an idiosyncratic behavior, perhaps. Well, professional wrestling and things like that. People look at that. And some of the conspiracy theories that you have.

[Jesse Ventura]

Excuse me, that's entertainment.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree.

[Jesse Ventura]

My job.

[Adam Carolla]

I listen, I'm a big fan.

[Jesse Ventura]

I earn a living. Listen, wrestling. Hey, what's more down to earth Americana than that?

[Adam Carolla]

The. Well, you know, I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm playing devil's advocate here. I'm a huge, you know, battling the devil one. Who, who do you like? Who's in the mix now, who may possibly be a lesser of evils. And I got your point with Jerry Garcia, and I thought it was very salient, and he makes a fine ice cream. But beside, like, you know, what about Hillary Clinton?

[Jesse Ventura]

What are we, England? Is there only Bushes and Clintons that are allowed to lead this country?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jesse Ventura]

You know, come on. I'll tell you, the best person out there right now is Senator Angus King from Maine. The former independent governor. The new independent senator from Maine.

[Adam Carolla]

Angus.

[Jesse Ventura]

Phenomenal, man.

[Adam Carolla]

I like that.

[Jesse Ventura]

Angus King of Maine.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So you feel like it's a giant system that you get sucked into, indoctrinated into. There's only one way to get along in the system, and that's to kind of play the game. And so everyone in there is guilty.

[Jesse Ventura]

Yes, Adam, yes. The whole system is based on the concept of bribery.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Jesse Ventura]

Now, if you do bribery in the private sector, you go to jail.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Jesse Ventura]

But in the public sector, that's the status quo. All of these guys are bought off. They. They pay for their campaigns. The big money people come in, they pay them off. And like the. Okay, the last super bowl, if you bet on Denver and Seattle, you couldn't lose, could you?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jesse Ventura]

That's what they do. They pay off both sides.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jesse Ventura]

The corporates, and they own them both. It doesn't matter as long as you keep electing. You know, people, they're saying 43% of Americans are independent now. No, they're not. An independent wouldn't vote for a Democrat or Republican. You're not independent because you flip flop back and forth.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jesse Ventura]

You know, and the point is, you're not going to get change by voting Democrat this time or Republican this time. You're going to get the same thing no matter what.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Jesse, let's pretend you're president for a second and let's go. Better than president. Let's go King dictator, what have you.

[Jesse Ventura]

Benevolent dictator.

[Adam Carolla]

Benevolent dictator.

[Jesse Ventura]

All right, but the key is you got to be benevolent.

[Adam Carolla]

I will toss out a topic and you just give me a thumbnail sketch of an answer. Energy.

[Jesse Ventura]

Energy. We need to look for alternatives to what we're doing right now because we're flying the earth and we need to, you know. And the answer is not. What do you call it?

[Adam Carolla]

Fossil fuels. Solar, nuclear.

[Jesse Ventura]

Nuclear. Cripe almighty. The meltdown in Japan. If two or three more of those happen, say goodbye to the world.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but I like it because what about coal mining?

[Jesse Ventura]

Coal mining is filthy.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm saying. At least nuclear is not as filthy as coal mining.

[Jesse Ventura]

Yeah, but what do you do? They don't even know what to do with the radiation and the rods.

[Adam Carolla]

So how are we going to generate?

[Jesse Ventura]

What are you going to do? Bury them in your backyard until they go away?

[Adam Carolla]

Not my backyard.

[Jesse Ventura]

Exact. Yeah, not my backyard.

[Adam Carolla]

What are we going to do to generate electricity?

[Jesse Ventura]

Well, we're going to have to go to the sun, the wind. We're going to have to. Hey, we need to follow Nikola Tesla when they locked up all his stuff. There's energy all around you. There's free energy. They won't let us have it because what would that do to the fossil fuel industry? Read up on Nikola Tesla.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I know. I dig his band.

[Jesse Ventura]

He discovered free energy a long time ago. It's out there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No, and it gets like Hutchinson said.

[Jesse Ventura]

To me, this scientist, he said to me, do you believe people like me haven't discovered anything but the jet engine in the last 60 years? And I said, no, John, I find that hard to believe. And he just smiled at me and he said, how fast do you think you could get from New York to LA if you didn't have to deal with gravity? I said, pretty quick.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, I feel like I'm high.

[Jesse Ventura]

Think about it, Adam. They're telling us that we have not. The jet engine came out in the 40s, the Germans in the 40s. We have nothing beyond that today. It's been 70 years.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Listen, I say it all the time. A flight from LA to New York was five hours in 1961, and today it's five hours. You just tack on another two hours for security. So it makes it seven hours. But the time in the air from literally the late 50s, early 60s, is pretty much exactly the same time, which doesn't feel a lot like progress to me.

[Jesse Ventura]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

So, Jesse. Sorry, go ahead.

[Jesse Ventura]

But have they done things that they're withholding from you?

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I'm not. I don't believe in the conspiracies. But I also do believe that when you have billions of dollars tied up in oil derricks and things like that, jet a fuel, pipelines, infrastructure and all that kind of stuff, and there's a jeopardy of that going away, and that's your company, and you have billions of dollars invested in that, it would make sense to take millions of dollars and invest them in politicians that would make sure that those things would stay in place.

[Jesse Ventura]

There you go. And thus, halt's progress.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, are you in Mexico as we speak?

[Jesse Ventura]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're not necessarily.

[Jesse Ventura]

I would just tell you I'm a Thousand miles from the U.S. border.

[Gavin McInnes]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

But it could be in the air.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

It might be out in the air.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Stratosphere.

[Allison Rosen]

So without gravity to hold down. Think about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Or could be in Cuba. So we will be checking in with you via oratv.com offthegrid Tuesday through Friday. Will you have guests? What will you be talking about?

[Jesse Ventura]

Well, this is really, to me, I guess you'd say it's my dream job. I'm down here living in a place where I desire to live. I got this job. I was doing a book tour and I saw my schedule. Larry King. And I thought, Larry King, he retired. And I went in and sure enough, there was Larry. I said, larry, what are you doing? He said, I'm on the Internet with Ola tv. You need to be here. And so I talked to those people I interviewed with Larry and we went from there. But this is my dream job. There's no FCC hanging over me. I can say anything I want and I can talk about anything, any subjects that I want to talk about free of not any pressure. And I love it. And I do it down here every day. Down here is 85 and sunny. We have this sneaky van. So as long as we get solar energy and access to the satellite, the show goes on. But we move around so the drones can't find us and stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Now do you really think the drones are looking?

[Jesse Ventura]

I don't know, but it's fun to think they are.

[Adam Carolla]

And how about your family? I mean, they're with me. Oh, they're with you. Wow. Are they miserable or are they happy?

[Jesse Ventura]

This is the adventure of me and my wife and our dog.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Jesse Ventura]

I've been living off the grid now for eight years.

[Adam Carolla]

And how old are your children?

[Jesse Ventura]

I think they're 44 and 30. Geez. Don't quote me on that. And don't let my wife hear that. I may not remember. They're so old. They're middle aged. Now.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll get the drone fired up so she can't hear anything. All right, so what you do is once again, you go to Aura TV offthegrid. And Jesse next, your van is in the Glendale Burbank area. Come on out and say hi in person.

[Jesse Ventura]

I'd love to. I'd love to, Adam. But the problem is going across that border. I mean, if you have you, it's interesting. When you go from US to Mexico, there's nobody there, right? When you go from Mexico to the U.S. it's like checkpoint Charlie. The only thing missing are the army Tanks. And I'm sure they're on their way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. Well, to be fair, we do have jobs here. I think that's why we beef up.

[Jesse Ventura]

Job Creator, because I'm down here creating jobs, and all the people working for me have told me that they're not going across the border now because I've gotten them a job. So I'm also solving illegal immigration one.

[Adam Carolla]

Van driver at a time. Thank you, Jesse.

[Jesse Ventura]

All right, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Appreciate it. I really like that guy, and I don't know why, but I. Well, no, I do know why. He used to do a radio show where he called the man show, the best show on tv. Me and Jimmy always got a laugh at him.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That puts you in his good graces.

[Adam Carolla]

It helps.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Other way around.

[Adam Carolla]

It helps. Yes, I know what you're saying, but. Well, first off, I know it's easy to go. Okay, all right. Okay, all right. But anytime somebody was a Navy SEAL or like, I don't care what you've become, if you won the Heisman or you medaled in the, whatever, winter or Summer Olympics or something, I got a certain amount of. I will always have X amount of respect for you versus somebody. Never even come close to that, who may be a very nice, great dad, great mom, great everything else. But when somebody says, you know, once in a while, just talk to a guy and he'll go, like, you know, maybe he's a little chubby, maybe he's a little bit BALD and he's 40 something. And I'll go, I was on a Florida State baseball team and we won the College World Series in 83. I played center field. And I'll just go, okay, I don't care what you're up to now. I'll always have a certain amount of respect for that guy who wrestled in high school and won whatever in his weight division or was a Navy SEAL or what have you.

[Allison Rosen]

What if you meet, like, a fat, older woman who says at one point she was Ms. Miami?

[Adam Carolla]

I'd say, Mr. Peabody, get the Wayback Machine and a condom in that order. That's right.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Here's a question. So for people like that, I often think this is about notable people. And for 90% of the people, it's obvious. But what would go in the first line or paragraph of Jesse Ventura's obituary for most notable people? It's obvious. It's what they do or what they're most known for for a few, a small percentage. What do you say about Jesse Ventura? Like, first paragraph, you want to say about O.J. simpson, first paragraph. You know, they have conflicting legacies. Jesse's accomplished a lot in a lot of different realms.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. No, I don't know. But either way, I find whatever you want to say about them, however much you agree or possibly disagree with them. I like people that, A, have a motor, B, can say they've basically lived five lives in their one lifetime. I mean, that guy was in Vietnam as a seal, and then he was on the top turnbuckle at Madison Square Garden in WrestleMania. And then he's making one of the biggest action move in some of the biggest action movies ever. Then he's the governor of Minnesota. I mean, that's what I'm saying.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

What goes in the first paragraph, that obituary?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. But I don't want. As much as I disagree with the conspiracy theorists, I still don't like to brush off what I would consider substantial people, because I go, he's doing his thing.

[Allison Rosen]

Because, like, 90% of what they say you might agree with. And then there's a couple things in there that make you go, right.

[Adam Carolla]

But I feel like we. And I don't know quite how to put this into words, but we do a little too much of. Like, I. As I've said, I'm working on this Newman doc, and we interview a lot of these guys. And they're old guys, but they raced at Le Mans for, like, you know, 10 years in the 70s. And it's the most. Biggest race in the world. It's the most dangerous race in the world. This, that, and the other. But right now, you're just looking at a weird old guy. And so there's a part of you that just wants to go, hey, weird old guy with the weird eyebrows, get out of the way. Or who are you? Or, you know what? You're in my way. I'm young. I'm doing shit. But you have to look back at what these guys have done, some of them, and go, let's treat them with some respect. They're not all. Weird old guys were not created equally. Some were fucking studs when they were 31.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

So it took a while to become weird old guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Took a while to become weird old guys. All right. Eat24, Internet's favorite app for food delivery. Look, whether you're too busy or too lazy to cook does not matter. You got Eat24, the app. It's your soulmate. You can order some pizzas, Chinese food, Thai food, Indian food. We used it last night. We were ordering pizza over to the house. 25,000 restaurants in over 1,000 cities. That is a lot of eats, man. Something's in your neighborhood, if it ain't in your neighborhood, you Gotta move, man. Plus 24. 7 customer support. You can chat with a real person about your order anytime. So they have payment options. Cash, credit card, PayPal, Google Wallet, whatever you like. And there you go. Keeps your orders. Keeps the last time you ordered at that place. So smart. You can download the app on your iPad, your iPhone, Android and Kindle. The future is here. And it smells like mongolian beef, baby. Eat 24. All righty then. We got a new Dicky Banks song. I do believe and see. Monica's coming in soon. We'll talk a little about the entrepreneurial spirit. Let's hear some dick, Dicky Banks.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

We're set this up because it's from last week. You had some dental work done and you were disgusted by the options given to you for the paste, the whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

The pumice. Yeah. For cleaning. Cleaning the teeth. Yes.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

All right, well, this is based off of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, pina colada. Adam went to the dentist, he had to get some work done. They didn't heat up the water that they sprayed on his gums. And then when it. When it came time to scrub the teeth in his mouth, the dentist asked about pumice, the conversation went south. Do you like pina colada? It's our kids favorite taste. We don't have the mint flavor, only sugar toothpaste. We're gonna treat you like an 8 year old. We've got bubble gum and grape. So lean back and say ah. And your mouth. We will rape Dicky Banks. Everybody love me some Dick Banks. And probably an assistance by Michael lynch.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Usually work in tandem.

[Adam Carolla]

They're a great dude, I'm guessing. Yeah. Villain pair this Saturday. Oh, I should say next. Oh, no, I think I mean this Saturday. Yeah, this Saturday. So much trouble with the this and the next. In my life.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Kristin and I get into many arguments about last versus last.

[Allison Rosen]

Can we just do away with the idea that next and this mean different things? Because all of us have this idea that next means the one after the next one. But I don't know that. When did we sign off on that?

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's a pretty. For me, it's pretty simple. If you're past the one Saturday, it's this.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Yeah, this is this Saturday. And the Saturday after shall be next.

[Adam Carolla]

Does not matter how far away you are. This is. It's on deck in the hole.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Okay. Allison gets it right away. You're not helping.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, someone's at the plate with a baseball bat.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

He hates food.

[Allison Rosen]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

He's bashing it. No, someone is at the plate and the next guy's on deck.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And if it's. If you're. This, that's the first one coming.

[Allison Rosen]

Right? This is very clear. Here's the thing. If you say to someone, we're having a party next Saturday, there's no way they'll say, great, see you there. It will be followed up with having to figure out if you mean the first one that's coming or the one that's on deck.

[Adam Carolla]

But I would argue that if we just were disciplined about this, which will never work. It would work.

[Allison Rosen]

All right.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I stick to the this and the next as tightly as I can.

[Adam Carolla]

I do as well. And you know, if Paul, Brian and I agree on something, it must be some kinds of true. And anyway, this Saturday sucks for our wives. March 8, two shows. Eric Stonestreet's gonna be out there. Love our plane buddy. Eric Stonestreet. That's right. Some on the plane for Modern Family.

[Allison Rosen]

Another time. No, I was not in first class with you guys. Another time you'll be hanging out with Eric Stonestreet without me, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

And Fitz dog, Greg Fitzsimmons for the late show. So come on out and say hi for that. Also, Redondo Beach Performing arts Center. That is the 27th of March Legal Defense Fund benefit. Kimmel Drew's gonna be there. Kevin Abean, Mark Mar, Andy Summers from the police is going to be there as well. So we got a lot of that going down as well. We'll bring Monica in in just a second. A little love for one of our fine sponsors. Blinds Galore, baby. They got a little friends and family sale. Biggest sale of the year. Everything is up to 50% off. You got to order, baby. You get some free samples and you shop, man. That's how it works. All goes down Tuesday, March 11th. Let's not stress out at the store. All the blinds we have at our shop and around here we get from Blinds Galore. Good guys.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Brian, new blinds. Like one of those little things make your house look 25% better. People notice them.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, if you. You're talking about a freedom door or French door, sliding door or big window or what have you. You're talking about a huge chunk of your wall being taken up by this. Let's do it right. By the way, they got a guarantee. If you're not satisfied with what you order for any reason, they'll get you something you like. So no risk involved. Blinds Galore really does have blinds galore. Go to blindsgalore.com, let them know I sent you. That's blindsgalore.com and let them know the Aceman sent you. All right, we will take a quick break.

[Monica Mehta]

It's a dud of a story.

[Adam Carolla]

That's Monica. Matt.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I'm not a fan of the news.

[Adam Carolla]

The Entrepreneurial Instinct. We'll talk about that next with Monica. Well, back with Monica Mehta. She's been on the show before. The Entrepreneurial Instinct. Allison, you were to step up that news game. Now Monica does judge over there.

[Monica Mehta]

It's the dud of a story.

[Adam Carolla]

She's bringing her a game. And so am I. I've brought my.

[Monica Mehta]

Olive branch as well, Alison. Hopefully you'll forgive me.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I will.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, I'll defend that story to the death. Yeah, it was the 50th anniversary of the cassette tape, for God's sake.

[Monica Mehta]

So are you defending mediocrity?

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, thank you for extending this branch. Accepted.

[Adam Carolla]

It's broken. Next time, lube it before you shove it up her ass. All right. Yeah. I mean, look, the 50th anniversary of the cassette only comes around once in a lifetime. Our kids will want to know where we were. It's just a waste of my time. All right, the book, as we talked about in the past, when you came here to verbally assault my colleague.

[Allison Rosen]

Wait just one minute, because something's dawned on me. Believe we all understood that to be. You weren't saying it was my fault for bringing in a dude of a story. I don't know who tried to tell me that was the case. It was that. You're saying that it wasn't a good story. But if it's about mediocrity, that's on me squarely.

[Monica Mehta]

No, it's the mediocrity of. Not your reporting of the story, but the fact that we seem to celebrate things that have expired. Why do we do this? Why do we need to do this?

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Good point.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. That's right. I got some.

[Allison Rosen]

I reported on the mediocrity. Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I got some milk that went bad two months ago. You want to do a little expose on that?

[Allison Rosen]

It's coming up.

[Adam Carolla]

It's coming up.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. I didn't get to it last week.

[Adam Carolla]

So, Monica, you look down the road. That's what I like about you. You look forward. Forward thinking.

[Monica Mehta]

Forward thinking and just accepting of excellence. Not the middle.

[Adam Carolla]

Mmm. Yeah.

[Monica Mehta]

If everyone's special, no one's special.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but if I only accepted. If I only accepted excellence, I'd be divorced and living in a very unexcellent apartment somewhere in Van Nuys. And there's no excellent part of Van Nuys. So one must now, what would you do? Or what should you do if you feel like the excellence around you is not up to an excellent level? Not you, per se, I think it's.

[Monica Mehta]

Don't sweat the small stuff. If it's big stuff that's not where it needs to be, then maybe you can get your panties in a bunch about that. But if it's the small stuff, keep moving on.

[Adam Carolla]

Where do you think we're at now? It's sort of like people say, well, we're living in a time when everything's been invented and everything's been done, so what are my chances? It's not like back in the day, your parents had a chance to stake a claim, but there's so much technology now, and there's so many ways to explore your entrepreneurial spirit. But what would you say? Like, what would you say to someone who's listening, has a job, feels like they have an idea, start a business, so on and so forth, but they have the security of a job, and maybe they have a family and they're, you know, looking to be responsible?

[Monica Mehta]

I would tell that person that they need to embrace taking a risk. And no one in your life is going to teach you how to take a risk. No one within the system that we live in teaches you how to give something up with the idea that you may lose it or you may get something bigger in return. We're very much conditioned within our educational system to just play it safe. And the way we evaluate taking risks is, hey, you know, when you face that fork in the road, think about everything that could go wrong. And once you think through all those things, you'll be prepared. But the thing is, that's not how we're wired. That's not how the brain works. Immediately when you start thinking about all the downsides of something, you tip off the side of the brain that's linked to loss aversion. That's the side that makes you think about everything that's gone wrong in the past past. It's linked to demotivating behavior. And the minute you start doing it, you're pretty much assuring that you will never take a risk. So every 10 years, there's something that comes around, this paradigm shift, a big change that kind of lifts up all the ships in the tide. You know, in the last 10 years, it was the Internet. The 10 years before that it was personal computing technology. Every 10 years you go back, there's something. And we're about to. A long time ago, years ago, but still.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, no, I mean mixed cassettes certainly.

[Monica Mehta]

And we're certainly due for something and we. There's a chance that we're already seeing the sparks of it. And I don't think it's green technology, which I think a lot of politicians are kind of like pushing us to think that like that's where all the jobs are coming from. It may be the old greasy, dirty, you know, oil and gas. There's a lot happening in that space. And you know, an energy efficient America may come from the energy that seems old, but we're finding new ways of extracting that oil and finding new ways of working with natural gas. That's not my space, but from what I read there's inklings of some stuff in that space that could again be what this country is looking for in terms of growth that creates jobs and kind of pushes forward entrepreneurship. But if you want to be an entrepreneur, you must take risks.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, a couple things I feel like part of the problem with the old fuel is it's old and everyone wants to think about new and space age. And it just seems so counterintuitive that Here it is 2014 and we're still going to the gas station and still the old dinosaur stuff that got pulled up from the ground and processed, put in a double hulled ship and shipped out to us from all that. It feels so. Jeez, that's the exact way our grandparents did it kind of thing. But what you're saying is there's many new technologies that are around this. The automobiles themselves, the way of extracting the energy from the ground, the way it's shipped and moved from one part of the country to the next, or the world to the next. So there's a lot of technology. Unfortunately, there's a lot of technology, but none of it is sexy. Cause it's about crude oil or natural gas. I've always said natural gas's biggest problem is that it has the word gas in it. And everyone's like, mm, we're onto the tidal and solar and green and composting and all that kind of stuff. And everything else feels so. I get it. It comes from the ground, it catches on fire. We're gonna harness it and use it. But there's a way to do it. I mean, yeah, if you could make automobiles get 100 miles to the gallon, that would be A quantum leap forward with an old technology.

[Monica Mehta]

Correct. And so, you know, it doesn't fit the sexy agenda of policy. But truthfully, I don't think the change that we're all waiting for is going to come from Washington. I think it's going to be more grassroots than that.

[Adam Carolla]

I wonder how much of it, honestly, just how much we got fucked over by like watching the Jetsons. I blame the Jetsons. Make the sound. Every movie, every cartoon, every glimpse at the future. Look, whether it was Blade Runner or whether it was made to be a cartoon and fun loving or serious. Look, everything but the Flintstones. Everything that had anything to do with the future had some sort of incredible form of transportation.

[Allison Rosen]

Fifth element.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Anything but a car with an internal combustion engine in it.

[Monica Mehta]

We have escalators in Skype now.

[Adam Carolla]

We have what?

[Monica Mehta]

Escalators in Skype. You're like zooming through the sky on your escalator and then you know the phones where you could see people in the Jetsons.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't know why. Well, that was one of those things where every single futuristic movie somebody would come on, especially the Commander would come on and he'd come on the screen and he'd be like, it's Commander Johnson here. Now listen to me. But we always thought, oh, this is going to be so cool. But then if you think about it, why would you need to see the person you were talking to? I always have coffee when I watch Radar. You know that.

[Allison Rosen]

I never. The only time I FaceTime on my phone is when I accidentally hit the thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, and also, who wants to. I mean, if your phone rang, you'd have to then either put some powder on or look to see who it was.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Find a good angle, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So I think the Jetsons screwed it up for us. But Monica, back to you. In the entrepreneurial spirit, what do you think? Where's a good place to live if you're into the entrepreneurial spirit?

[Monica Mehta]

Well, it's interesting you asked me that because I just moved to Texas about two months back from New York. And it's interesting because every other person you meet down there is an entrepreneur, especially in the finance sector, which is where I work. And we, I work for a private family office and we're doing a lot of investing locally within Texas. Now there's so many people moving to Texas at the moment that there's a one month supply of housing, but the demand calls for nine months supply. Like that's how many people are just in groves moving down to Texas. With entrepreneurship, there's A huge environmental factor. Meaning if you spend time with other entrepreneurs, their risk taking, their appetite rubs off on you, even if that's not your natural propensity. So you'll see a lot of within technology. Specifically, they'll have incubators, they'll have little hubs in Silicon Valley, also in New York City, where people who are working on tech startups basically work together and they're sharing resources and they're sharing ideas. And so in Texas there's a lot of movement. There's very much like a cowboy spirit. And so that's definitely an area where you're seeing a lot of new job creation, small business activity.

[Adam Carolla]

So you were talking about our system and our school system and many things. We're trained. And it bothers me too, this sort of better safe than sorry, you know, Even if it takes you an extra two hours to drive from LA to Vegas. Take it slow. And my feeling is like, fuck, that I'd rather be able to go 110 miles an hour. I'll look out for myself. I'm not going to do it in a fog bank, I'm not going to do it in a driving rain. But if I have the equipment to go 110 miles an hour or average 110 miles an hour from here to Vegas, I fucking well want to do that. And everyone will go, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow it, slow it down. And the message, and I see my kids, they get indoctrinated into this immediately in life. There's a lot of like, put them in the car seat. My kids are big. They can sit in the back of a big safe car with a million airbags. They zipline, they zip line. Well, one of them does. The other one's just sort of a fanny pack. For someone who does want to zip.

[Gavin McInnes]

Line, that's a waste of my time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, boy's not courageous. I put him in the back of my car and I put a seatbelt on him and I go, this is 10 times safer than we traveled our entire life. This vehicle is the crumple zones and the anti lock brakes and the airbags and all that kind of stuff. But it's always this like everyone's always just play it safe, play it safe. And I'm like, but that costs something. And it not only costs something, it costs time. In my opinion, I think we should be taught to weigh out the risks of certain things. I'm not saying don't put your seatbelt on because that takes three tenths of a second and that can save your Life. But a lot of the other shit is just a fucking waste of time. And I feel like there's more and more in that. And maybe it's one of those reasons you moved to Texas from a place like California or New York.

[Monica Mehta]

Well, 85% of us are wired to feel fear first. So when you face that fork in the road, you're not going to be the one that jumps off the cliff. You're going to be the one who thinks about, well, this, yes, XYZ can go wrong. And so we're basically taught within our society, you want to, like, weigh the pros and cons. And again, that makes sense.

[Allison Rosen]

We value that. Like, we value the person that will sit there and think about what could possibly happen versus the one who makes a mistake.

[Monica Mehta]

Exactly. But the scientists that study risk taking with entrepreneurship have found that entrepreneurs, the way they behave is they actually are a combination of impulsive and adaptable. They take action and then they mitigate the downside risk. But what you're taught is don't do a goddamn thing until you figure out everything that can go wrong. And it's a completely different way of working.

[Adam Carolla]

No, listen, I know it well because when I had a house and I was moving out of it and I was moving into another house, I just said to my family, I said, now what do you think? Should I sell the house or should I maybe I should rent it out, get some income coming in off it, and then maybe I'll sell it later, you know, when the market goes up a little bit or something like that. And they all just went, oh, don't rent it out. You're going to get a bunch of marauding bikers in there with their untrained raccoons covered with syphilis, and they're going to tear up everything and you'll never get your money, your deposit back from them and blah, blah, blah. And I was just like, all right, now I know to rent the house because I know exactly what you losers would say, and I'll just do the opposite of what you guys would say. It's actually a good way to do it. It's what people do with me when it comes to gambling on the Super Bowl. But I just. I've seen. I've been exposed firsthand to the people that never took a risk. They're taking it with them to the fucking grave. And it's not a great plan. It does not work. I don't know. I guess if your plan is to never skin your knee but never own a car that's worth more than $8,000, then maybe 8,000.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Oh, sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

That was a low job well done.

[Allison Rosen]

It's also like, oftentimes if something bad happens, you can recover from that. You have to sort of take stock of how bad the worst case scenario really is. Like, in your situation, that would be annoying, but it's not going to be devastating if the raccoons move in.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree, and I don't. As I've said, when I bought my first house, I bought it in a time when I think we did one episode, or I should say one season of Loveline on mtv.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

What if it was one episode?

[Adam Carolla]

One episode riding out. I'm rich. One season. We did not know if we were coming back. The radio seemed a little spotty. There was a whole bunch of you may. And I got the this is a topsy turvy business and you don't know. You know who told me, by the way, on the phone? Bob Ringwald, which is Molly's dad.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

He's seen the high and the low.

[Adam Carolla]

Molly's dad gave me the here today, gone tomorrow. Man, you better. And I sort of went, no, I'm not going to approach it like the here today, gone tomorrow kind of way. This conversation we had was in 1995, so managed to keep my head above water, but it was a lot of like. And so people are like, you want to buy that house so soon? What are you doing? And I just kept saying, look, I can always sell it. Like, if we don't get picked up and things don't work out and I have to go back to swinging a hammer for a living and I take a sudden downturn in income and so on and so forth, then I'll sell it. Like, I might lose a few bucks. Maybe I'll make a few bucks. Maybe I'll sell it and make ten grand. I'll flip it, you know, whatever it is, I can't just sell it. If we don't get picked up. And everyone's like, yeah, but what if we don't get picked up? Like, they don't look to the next option, which is simply sell your property.

[Monica Mehta]

An essential part of entrepreneurship is to understand that failure is par for the course. Like, it's not a matter of, you know, get all your ducks in a row and do it perfectly. Things are not going to go right, and you have to be able to sustain. And so knowing that failure is a possibility.

[Allison Rosen]

I did the news the next day, that's right, the very next day. I came right back and I just.

[Adam Carolla]

Did it mopped up her tears, I swear.

[Monica Mehta]

Tears.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

She dusts herself off.

[Monica Mehta]

So all of this, you have to conserve. You have to conserve your resources. If you want to take a risk, you have to have something in the piggy bank that you can draw upon if things don't work out. And as long as you conserve, you can persist. And over time, I think the studies show, actually an entrepreneur makes 50% more over his lifetime than an employee.

[Adam Carolla]

Or her.

[Monica Mehta]

Only him.

[Adam Carolla]

I have to go upside a man.

[Monica Mehta]

Cause chicks can't do math.

[Adam Carolla]

Or a woman's. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you, if you're going to embrace the entrepreneurial spirit, I suggest you embrace LifeLock. Identity thieves. They're shrewd. They're targeting your checking, your savings account. They're looking for your cash. Stuff you put aside for retirement. Allison.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, here's a scam to be aware of. It's called the shutoff swindle, and it's a telephone scam. People pose as utility workers and threaten to shut off your service, claiming unpaid bills. And their goal is to get you to give them your personally identifiable information. And then they want to steal your identity. And they'll encourage you to settle the invoice by providing account details. Name, address, the last four digits of your Social Security number and your credit card number.

[Adam Carolla]

So don't fall for it. Do not go for that. Go for LifeLock. LifeLock ultimate, the most comprehensive ID theft protection ever created. Guards your identity and credit. Even monitors your bank accounts for takeover fraud. Awarded best in detection among ID protection programs. Dawson. LifeLock Services can't protect you or your bank accounts if you're not a member. Visit lifelock.com and enter promo code Adam for a special 10 discount. That's promo code [e-mail] to get our special 10 discount. Lifelock.com network does not cover all transactions. And scope may vary. All right. Oh, we have the great Minister of Defense Atkins was the reality of the Deacon Jones head slap.

[Jesse Ventura]

The head slap was to do two purposes. One was to give myself an initial.

[Adam Carolla]

Head start on the password.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

In other words, an extra step.

[Adam Carolla]

Because anytime you go upside a man's head or a woman, then they have a tendency to blink their eyes or close their eyes. He will be missed. The insane thing is, there is a context for this. He's talking about rushing the quarterback in the NFL. He's not talking about making it out of a nightclub. He's talking about getting to the quarterback. And in the history of the NFL, there's never been a Woman who's played on the offensive line side of the.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Ball, who has to get out of a nightclub that badly.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Deacon, you know, Deacon is old school. All right, Monica, hang out and scrutinize Allison Rosen and the news. The news with Allison Rosen.

[Gavin McInnes]

She'll read some news from her iPad.

[Adam Carolla]

Sometimes it's good. Sometimes times as bad as Alison. And when it's time to wrap it.

[Gavin McInnes]

Up, she'll sign it off with zip it.

[Adam Carolla]

Cut. It's Allison Dalazan.

[Allison Rosen]

Is the. Yeah. Part of this is a dead of a story or are you mashing them up?

[Monica Mehta]

It's a dud of a story.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

To get into her. I had to clip the. Yeah, I had to clip it, but you get the idea.

[Monica Mehta]

Yeah, it's a dud of a story.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Kind of better with the.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it really is.

[Monica Mehta]

It's a dud of a story.

[Allison Rosen]

So remember last night when we were watching the Oscars, we were talking about Sarah Jones, who was the crew member who was killed. And there was this campaign. She was killed on the Casey Jones. Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

They kept it in the family. The filming of the Allman biopic on railroad tracks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And she got hit by a train. A bunch of crew members were injured, but she was killed. And so there was this campaign to have her included in the memoriam. And then we talked about how she wasn't. As it turned out, she was included at the end of Bette Midler. So remember, Bette Midler sang afterwards. And then at the end of Bette Midler's song, something with Sarah Jones name was on screen saying that she's included in the in memoriam on Oscars.com but because. And I think we talked about having fast forwarded through a bunch of it, so we didn't actually catch that. So in a way, she was actually included.

[Adam Carolla]

Why would they do let Bette sing her song and then tack it in? Because they'd already finished the package. And by the way, harold Ramis died 10 minutes ago. They shoehorned him in. Did they really? But it seems weird to then make it into a separate.

[Allison Rosen]

Right? I mean, it was just a little notice that came up on screen.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Oh, but speaking of. Remember I was going on and on about Jonathan Winters. They always snubbed somebody, which they did. Dennis Farina wasn't in the. The thing he died from. From a hundred movies. But the Midnight Run is where the bad guy in there and he's no.

[Adam Carolla]

Get shorty or something like that.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Like he's the dad. And out of Sight.

[Adam Carolla]

He's done everything.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

He's been in many, many, many recognizable. He's in Snatch. He's in many movies and not acknowledged on the. What, the old In Memoriam. They're very sad.

[Allison Rosen]

But I wonder if he was included online.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, maybe, but here's the. Here's the deal. First off, we get into this every. Every year. We need to just figure out the calendar year versus coming up to the Oscars because there's a lot of. He died last year, right? Tom Clancy. Not in there.

[Allison Rosen]

Cory Monteith.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, had he done movies? No, I think it was just tv. But tell that to the Gleeks. Dennis Farina had been in. I don't know if you go down his IMDb. He'd been in 55 movies.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Yeah. And worked a lot late in his life, too. Like, was a character actor that worked steadily for the last 10 years.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know then how it works, if. And then is it some union thing? Like, I feel like there's guys in there that were like sound mixers from the 40s and stuff that get in there. Also, I don't want to see a picture of you when your teeth are falling out and the pores in the side of your nose are as big as, you know, craters in the moon. I want you at your prime, man. I don't need to see the dude when he's 92 years of age and everything's coming undone. Like it looks like his face is melting like the Nazi. And Raiders of the Lost Army. Give me the best picture you got. Do you know what I mean? I don't want weirdo old. They do that all the time. They get a picture of the guy from two days after he died and they throw it up there and it's like, all right, give me in his prime. Show him mixing that sound in 1941.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Classic Farina, right?

[Adam Carolla]

So Farina, he's in a Saving Private Ryan, too.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I forgot about that.

[Adam Carolla]

I forgot about that. I mean, spinning him.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

He was in a lot of big movies.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, so how do you. How do you reconcile that?

[Allison Rosen]

Right? Like when it aired, do you think there was someone who worked on it who's like, fuck, we forgot Farina.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I got him a conscious decision because he's a pretty well known actor.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'll put it to you this way. I just read yet another article about me that had my name spelled one way at the top and then led off the next paragraph with it spelled another way. So you're not dealing with geniuses. This could simply. I know we do a lot of conspiracy, but it could simply be people just fucking dropping the ball, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

But Farina, with his body of work, and it wasn't like, well, yeah, he made that guest appearance on Green Acres, and then we hadn't seen him since. He'd been working very steadily for the last two decades.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

And a movie that just came up on the show a couple weeks ago or recently, maybe a manhunt. He was in Manhunter.

[Adam Carolla]

Great in that.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

The first Hannibal Lecter movie.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Allison Rosen]

So we all kind of agreed that Ellen did a good job and it was a pretty good Oscars, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I. I think so, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Because it was interesting because then I got home and Daniel had been at an Oscars party, and the consensus there was that it was really not good at all and that she's not the right kind of host and that it was. It was strange to just two. Two different group watchings and such a different feeling about it. It made me wonder, had I been there, would I have seen it?

[Monica Mehta]

Very divisive that Ellen.

[Allison Rosen]

It's surprising because I can't think of someone who's less polarizing. Well, like, I think. Here's what I would say, grandeur or something.

[Adam Carolla]

She did a.

[Allison Rosen]

She.

[Adam Carolla]

She did a yo. Woman's job of what she does. But I do agree, for the Oscars, I want to see Billy Crystal on a horse come out there. I want to see the crazy montage of movies that he inserts himself into or she inserts herself into or whatever it is. I want that big old Hollywood, look at us. You can see us from outer space. Kind of watch us show off kind of thing. Like, I'm all right with that. The come on out, do a little crowd work, tell a few jokes about Clooney or whoever. It's fine, and there's nothing wrong with it. And she did a great job of what she set out to do. But it's the Oscars. I kind of miss those crazy openings. Like, I miss the bigger stuff.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. I think this Oscars, it always felt like she was talking right to you or the presenters were presenting right to you. You didn't get the sense that this is a giant production.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

And maybe that's what was missed.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, I. I miss the. By the way, this is why Doogie Howser just needs to. Needs to host everything. Neil Patrick Harris, that dude too. One of them. Either one will do. I need some. Look, I. I'm sorry. You know how I almost never want to be swept away. I do know that and how I fight tooth and nail against pageantry. I want both of them on that.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

There is once a year.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. I would like to be swept away in a sea of pageantry.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow.

[Monica Mehta]

The pageantry came from Jared Leto for me, who looked like Jesus, but like a really attractive Jesus going to an 80s wedding because he had that red bow tie.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I had an interesting conversation with my son who told me that God was a woman earlier that day.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

And I said, why do you think God's a woman? He said, gave birth to Jesus, so he's got to be a she. You know?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Very interesting sound logic.

[Adam Carolla]

Dude. Can't crap out another dude.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. All right. I still want to see a good. I want to see a showgirls version of Elizabeth Berkley and Jared Leto mash up. I'm telling you.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

You think they look alike?

[Adam Carolla]

Same career.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

You know who was a not unattractive Jesus? The Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar. The movie. If anyone else saw that.

[Gavin McInnes]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

It was. He was also in Of Mice and Men. That guy. That's one of those anachronistic crushes. Sort of like the one I had on the kid who played Artful Dodger and Oliver when I was six.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the old. It's like the ultimate physique in that you must look like you're in great shape, but you can't look like you work out.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Right. Must be naturally gotten.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Kind of have that high school swim team look. We don't want to see flabby stretch mark Jesus with back knee. On the other hand, we can't see Shredded Jesus.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

300 Jesus.

[Allison Rosen]

Can't be like Jersey Shore Jesus.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Preparing. Yeah. Spray on tan shaves. Clearly shaving. Shaving his chest. Like preparing for the role of Jesus. That's gotta be the ultimate because it's like I have to work out, but not that much.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

I do 18 and a half push ups every day and I run on treadmill for 21 minutes.

[Monica Mehta]

It's all about the hair.

[Adam Carolla]

It is about the hair. It's about the hair and the beard. Right.

[Monica Mehta]

Are highlights okay?

[Allison Rosen]

I think more than okay.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Was walking around in the sun a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

They have to be sun kissed. Yeah. Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

So the murder trial of Oscar Pistorius opened on Monday in South Africa.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. He pleaded not guilty to the murder of girlfriend model Reva Steenkamp. And testimony. The initial testimony started with Michelle Berger, who was a neighbor who says that she heard four gunshots and then she recalled the sound of, quote, blood curdling. Screams from a woman who prosecuted who from Steenkamp. She says, it's the most useless feeling I've ever had in my life. I knew something terrible was happening in that house. Early testimony focused on whether the screams that she heard were those of a terrified woman about to be shot to death, which is what prosecutors allege, or if they were Pistorius's desperate shrieks for help after a fatal mistake, which his defense lawyers say she said, quote, I was woken up by a woman's petrified screams. I heard her screaming first. Then I heard her call for help. Then I heard a man call for help three times. I then made a call. I gave the phone to my husband and he spoke, spoke to security. Afterward, I heard the woman's petrified screams again. Then she heard four gunshots with a gap between the first shot and the rest. And more screaming. Quote, I heard her voice during the shots, shortly after the shots was the last time I heard that woman.

[Adam Carolla]

This is quietly, by the way, there's Elizabeth and Jerry.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Not one of your finer moments.

[Adam Carolla]

Fuck either one of them. You'll find me a better picture of Elizabeth.

[Jesse Ventura]

The.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a. Now it's getting a little. Getting closer.

[Allison Rosen]

I think it has to do with the profile a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe it's the front. The nose is not too far off. Eyes getting close. All right.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you have anything of Elizabeth Berkley with a beard?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this story. I was thinking about this story the other day. It's insane. Because he was the toast of the Olympics. I mean, you know, O.J. was O.J. but O.J. this was 30 years past his career. Oscar was in the middle of the honeymoon phase, collecting endorsement deals like nobody's business. I mean, you want to talk about the entrepreneurial spirit, I mean, this guy was. Every major company wanted this guy as the face of their company because he. Of athletics and overcoming these obstacles and my God, yes. Every story, half the stories of the Olympics were about him and the idea that he was going to run with able bodied people and so on and so forth. This is just an insane thing to happen almost immediately after all of this as well. So what are you guys, what are you guys coming down on this one? I mean, was he. Was this murder one? Was he trying to kill her? Was he looking for an excuse to kill her? I mean, I heard some of the stories. They had like, pretty explosive personality and, you know, all that kind of stuff.

[Allison Rosen]

Weren't there domestic charges or disputes before that? Like they were having problems?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but then he wanted. Why Kill her. Like, they weren't married, were they?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Is his story still that he thought she was an intruder or something?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And then there's that part too, where you go, oh, come on. And then there's that part as well, where you go, if I didn't have legs, I would feel vulnerable. If they weren't. My prosthetic ones weren't attached to me, I would feel like if somebody came in, I wouldn't be able to protect myself or get out of the way or whatever. Whatever.

[Allison Rosen]

It was supposed to be a very dangerous. That's what I heard. It's a very. Like. There's a lot of crime in this neighborhood that they're in.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So. Yeah. And then why. And then everyone does a thing where it's like, well, he panicked. First off, he hears a starter's pistol every day at work, so he's not that panicky. How panicking he be? Yeah. I think first shot, he probably just started running just out of instinct, in his sleep.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Like my dog.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

His feet just kicking.

[Allison Rosen]

Probably not his feet.

[Monica Mehta]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So it is a weird. And then. And there's always that thing where it's like, all right, well, the one shot, but then all the shots after that.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, I guess you could.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's the point. I don't think. I think he's gonna walk. I don't think he's getting locked up. And people are gonna be upset about this. But there's enough. There's enough. There'll be enough questions. All you need is just that element of. And he just does the. I feared for my life and this neighborhood, there's been break, and I don't have legs, and I was using this to protect myself, and I didn't know it was on the other side of the door. You mixed all that in with panic. And then a lot of. Well, you don't know how you would react either if you had no legs and were in South Africa and someone gave you a.44 and locked you in a bathroom.

[Allison Rosen]

If that is what happened, and I don't think it is, but if he was just in a state and he was panicked and, you know, fight or flight kicked in, and that's why he shot her four times, because he thought she was an intruder. Isn't that an argument against guns for this guy, at least?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well, he's got fight or roll. He doesn't have fight or flight. That's his problem. And the argument. To me, the argument for guys like that or guys in that position having guns, you're going to shoot the wrong person a lot of the time. And don't get me wrong, I mean the thing about the gun thing is this. If he's in a position where it's like he can't. And I'll put it to you this way. If I was in a neighborhood that had a fair bit of crime, I knew I was going to be out of town and I knew my wife and kids were going to be home. I would like my wife to have access to a gun. I would like her to be trained with that gun, but I would like her to have access to it. But on the other hand, there's simple things to me that I never understood why most people don't implement. Like my bedroom doors always had a deadbolt on it. I just lock the deadbolt and I always tell my wife, look, if I'm out of town, lock that deadbolt. And then she'd always go, what about the kids? And I'd be like, you're not going to do them any good if said intruders in your room. Unfortunately that's going to give you time to call 911 and go get the pistol out or whatever it is. Hopefully the kids will make it during that time and then mama is situated. But what mama doesn't want to do is wake up and have a dude standing at the foot of the bed. That's not going to help anybody. So there's little things that I don't understand why more people like I don't know what percentage of Americans have walked in on their parents having sex and. Or I mean you don't want to see the back of dad's sack when you're nine years of age. A well lit bedroom or bathroom that's imprinted. Yeah. Saying it's like literally just a barrel bolt on the door. How many times have people done that thing where they I woke up and the guy was standing over my bed. Well, if you just had literally a $3 barrel bolt, the kind that just takes a wood screw and goes into the casing of the door and the other female sides on the door and you just do that. You can't sneak up on somebody. And if you're getting frisky with the old lady, it keeps the kids from seeing papa's back sack. Why not? Why? You know, the average bathroom in America has a privacy lock on it. Why not the average master bedroom for that matter? But yet most don't. I don't. I think there's. And this wasn't the case in this situation. But I think there's common sense things that most people can do to prevent a lot of this. I woke up and the person was, I mean, some of it is keep your porch light on. You know, some of it is just like basic shit.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay, question. Because this sort of dovetails with the stuff we were talking about, risk and all of that that Monica was talking about. Do you think that people who have the entrepreneurial spirit are also safe at home? Like, can you have a healthy combination of both, of wanting to take risks, but also thinking of everything that could go wrong at home and, you know, making it safe there?

[Monica Mehta]

That's a really interesting question. So I've seen studies that show that people who are wired to take risks, that have that instinct, have, maintain that risk taking appetite throughout their life. So while for the average person, your appetite to take risks is highest in your teens, for that entrepreneur, you're maintaining the same appetite in your 60s and your 70s. And so what happens is, again, if you take risk taking and take a step back, it's a combination of being impulsive and being adaptable. People who are just impulsive and just kind of like, you know, go and try different things all the time. Sometimes we perceive those as the risky ones. And it's the people who actually have the adaptability that can work that bias to action or just jumping into new things without thinking through it to a positive place. So any entrepreneur who really is able to be successful has found a way to really mitigate the downside. So when you're being impulsive and going out there and doing things, you're finding ways to then reduce all the things that can go wrong. But you're not waiting to take action till you figure everything out.

[Allison Rosen]

Like, I think people that leave their doors unlocked are stupid because it's such a tiny, I mean, like your front door, it's such a tiny action and it just, it just seems like, why, why, why do that? Why leave it unlocked? But I wonder how much time I'm wasting being the kind of person who's worrying about that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I would like to think that I have the entrepreneurial spirit and I take plenty of risks in that department. But, but at home I have the smoke detector and I have the carbon monoxide detector and I keep the doors locked and I keep the porch light on. Like I'm very. But to me, I've always had this sort of thing that, I don't know, it's kind of my theory that most people end up dying over some $2 part in their Car like there's just some chicken shit nothing thing that you should have had replaced. You know, the manual says every 30,000 miles have this belt redone, but you completely ignored it. And then you're driving home one night on the 405 on a Saturday night, and the belt went and the car overheated and you pulled off to the side of the road and you got hit by the drunk driver and you got killed. And as sad as it is, and as much as you want to make it about another victim by a drunk driver, Mm, mm. That is a victim by a drunk driver. But it was a $3 fan belt that caused you to pull over and you deferred the maintenance, and that's what ended up happening. There's this part of me that always looks at many. For instance, catastrophic airline disasters can be traced down to just one little bolt or nut or something that was defective or somebody looked past or didn't. Just a little thing that then spread, that then turned into something bigger, and then it turned into something catastrophic. So to me, I am of the mindset of take care of the little $3 part. And let's not ever let it get to. I mean, a carbon monoxide detector is $14 at Home Depot. And if you fall asleep, I've had carbon monoxide poisoning in a hippie's van before. Long story. But you will die in your sleep if your heater goes bad. Well, there's another one. Change the filter of your heater every once in a while, Take it out, blow it out, replace it, put it back again, go down to Home Depot for another three bucks, get a new filter for your heater. Who does that? That's the point is we put off that kind of shit. That's the kind of stuff where the heater goes bad, it's not properly vented, the carbon monoxide kicks in and you're just asleep. And if you had this $15 item, you would have been awakened early on before the poisoning kicked in. But yet, it's not sexy, it's not fun, it's not exciting, it's not anything. It's sort of boring. But my whole thing is I want to go down in a huge dirigible accident. I want a dirigible to go into a fucking volcano. I don't want like a 10 cent part. I don't want to, like, be, you know, chased in a circle like on the Pirates of the Caribbean by the devil with his pitchfork for the rest of the rest of eternity by a fat chick. Oh, a fat chick. That's right.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That's all Pirates of the Caribbean, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Right. With the pitchfork. I don't want to deal with that knowing that it was one Home Depot item that could have saved me and it would have been under $20. That's the way I roll.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Something grand.

[Adam Carolla]

I want something grand. That's right.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Like a death worthy of this life.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Meteor strike.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Something good.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Something notable.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. And I'll tell you what. I hope I'm talking to colleagues via GoToMeeting when it happens.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Well, at least we won't be wasting your time. Your last moments on earth in a meeting room.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. I'll be unsafely at home. Gotomeeting with. At Facebook.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

One of the chances of that are very slim, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No. It's not going to happen to you. Brought to you by Citrix. Simple way to meet. Online, anywhere, anytime. With GoToMeeting, you can share the screen, you can work on documents in real time, turn your webcam on, and see each other face to face. You can try it for free. That's right, free. 30 days free. We use these guys all the time. Whenever there's a client and we're looking to sign up, they jump on, and then we share the screen and it'll show us the next graphic. It's really good. Visit gotomedean.com today. Click on the try it free button. Use the promo code Adam. That's GoToMeeting.com, promo code. AdamMeeting is believing. All right, what else we got?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, remember, for some Time Warner cable customers, I don't know if you are one, Adam. The super bowl cut out for part of it. Like, a big chunk of it was missing due to a temporary blackout in the second quarter of the game. Some people missed the entire halftime show.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

I think that I was one of them. But as an apology, Time Warner Cable sent out $5 Target gift cards to customers living in affected areas. I have not received my gift card.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Jesse Ventura]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't buy back my super bowl experience, especially in a barn burner of a game like that.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Seriously, I missed a lot of scoring by one team.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. Peyton Manning had a blackout. His entire defense at Seattle crushed him.

[Allison Rosen]

How do you feel about this kind of thing, though? This kind of we're sorry. Here's $5 to Target, which then means you have to go to Target.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a few things I like the either step it up or nothing. Which is basically saying, look, shit happens. We don't guarantee there's A dangerous part of life that we're entering. And boy, is it prevalent. And it's prevalent more than it ever was, which is something negative happened in my life. Who is going to fix it and who is going to pay?

[Allison Rosen]

What can I get from it?

[Adam Carolla]

What can I get? And who's responsible? That was never a mindset in the past. In the past it was just, shit happens. And yeah, so you had car insurance and if some guy's emergency brake failed and bashed into your car, hopefully. But now it's just like every inconvenience. Everything that happened. Oh, you're out of tuna at the subway. Well, who's going to pay for my discomfort? Well, get the fucking turkey. Well, I wanted the tuna. Someone's got to pay. Like everybody feels like something happened that was negative versus, you know, it's that thing of like back to the airlines. One out of every 15 or 25 flights you have is delayed. And there's a part of you that could go, oh, fuck this, Jesus Christ. But then there's also part of you that goes, I get to get from here to Chicago in 3 hours and 15 minutes. That's pretty good considering a couple generations ago, half the people died trying to make that journey. And if they did make it, it took them nine months. Like, we should look at the fact that we are able to see the super bowl in living color and in high definition with slow motion replay and pause and everything else. And every once in a while there's a glitch. Once in a while you don't get it. It doesn't happen. But it doesn't mean that somebody needs to pay all the time. I'm not a big fan of the cable companies, but I'm just saying let's not get so complacent or so used to or at ease with what's going on around us. I mean, the fact that you get into your car every single day, turn the key and it fires up, and then once at every four years you get in there and you turn the key and nothing happens and you go, oh my God, I'm cursed. That's pretty good. It's a pretty good batting average we have. You know what I'm saying? So I don't think there should be anything. It should just be a shit happens. You have 552 channels. Enjoy them most days.

[Monica Mehta]

Watch Beaches on Lifetime.

[Adam Carolla]

Beaches on Lifetime. That's what I did for the Super Bowl.

[Allison Rosen]

I just think the, the tiny. This is a tangent, but the tiny rewards that you might think don't mean anything. They're such a. Okay, so I'm going to tell something that is I should take to my grave. But for a very brief time. Lean Cuisine has a rewards program. They tout it on their box.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Allison Rosen]

You get a little timer in the shape of a tomato. You can get matching dish towels. You can get silicone bowls and other stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Lean Cuisine.

[Allison Rosen]

So I thought, I eat Lean Cuisines. I'm just throwing the boxes away when I could be racking up my rewards bonus points. So I did this for a while, informing Daniel of the loot that would be in our future. And then I realized I can't stand having to cut the cardboard box things and type this in and this is not worth it. And what am I doing with. I'm already embarrassed that I'm doing this at all, let alone the amount of time it takes to be a member of their program. So I stopped.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I ask you this in terms of who you would like to not sit next to on a long bus ride?

[Allison Rosen]

The person talking about what I'm talking about.

[Adam Carolla]

Lean Cuisine box cutter. Box cutter, coupon collector, Marlboro mileage collector.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, see, the Lean Cuisine box cutter is going to smell better.

[Adam Carolla]

It's true. It's true. But there's probably going to be other issues that go along with that, I feel. Not you.

[Allison Rosen]

She might spill into your seat.

[Adam Carolla]

Not you. But there's going to be. There's going to be some baggage that goes along with that. I'm a Marlboro guy. There's going to be some third hand smoke, but other than that, I think you're having a fun conversation.

[Allison Rosen]

Kayaking. He camps.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Because that's all they had is pup tents and kayaking.

[Allison Rosen]

Went to outdoor.

[Adam Carolla]

Makes his own fire. Yeah. Lights a cigarette from the stairs in the fire. My whole thing is you go king and pint.

[Allison Rosen]

He doesn't care that he's smoking, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Wow. I didn't know they had that stuff anymore. I told you. One of my greatest power moves was taking all the riders from Kimmel. Somebody thinks this makes me a wasteful dickhead, by the way. I think somebody tweeted me last time I did. But take all the writers from Kimmel's writing room. Back in the day, after lunch, we'd all walk over to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf down the street on Hollywood Boulevard. And we would. I'd just bring them all or whatever guys. The usual suspects. Be like six, seven guys. I'd tell them, I'll order up, I'll pay for it. And then they'd go, would you like your ticket punched? And because you go there 10 times, you get a free drink, smoothie or something. And I'd go, no. And then at that point, one of the riders, I think it was John Bynes, pull out his card and said, well, then punch mine instead. And I said, no, I'm paying. Put the card back. And then everyone thought I was a huge dick. Now, to be fair, this is how guys work, like, to fuck around with people. But I sort of meant it, which is, I'm paying for everybody.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

So many thoughts.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not getting my card punch. But neither are any of you.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

You deny the fact that you still.

[Adam Carolla]

Get a free coffee.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

You deny the fact that you're idiosyncratic. And the very definition.

[Adam Carolla]

No, that's fucking around.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

This.

[Adam Carolla]

This is not idiosyncratic. Oh, I'm. I'm fucking with these guys for the main. For the most part, I'm fucking around. I wouldn't care one way or the other where they got it.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

In all seriousness, you do hate waste, and I. I hate that about you, but you do a couple things that are bizarre.

[Adam Carolla]

Waste.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

No, no, I know. You leave. You leave things on the table. I'm thinking again, if you're not filling out the Ralph's Club stuff to get the extra whatever money off, it's like. Like that will save you so much money. You're essentially wasting money by not spending waste.

[Allison Rosen]

But he also hates cheapness.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, no, what's weird, the thing about. For me, for me, for me. What? I hate cosmic waste. I don't mind wasting my own money, per se. Now.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

So conflicting.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no. There's two kinds of waste. The waste where John Bynes doesn't get a free tea or Coffee. His 10th time in on my dime is not really a waste. It's a waste for him. It may be a waste for me, but it's not someone taking coffee and dumping it down the sink. You see what I mean? That's the kind of waste I am. Sorry?

[Allison Rosen]

Logging into your Lean Cuisine account to type in the numbers from the box that you had to cut last night.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it is a waste. Meaning if somebody said, if you don't get this ticket punched, I will take this cup of coffee and throw it in the drain, I would get the ticket. Punt.

[Monica Mehta]

That's called principle.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you, ma'. Am. You're obviously of discerning taste. No, that's the kind of waste I can't take. This is. You can get some free jelly beans but you choose not to take the free jelly beans. I don't care about that because no one's taking the jelly bean jar and dumping it onto the ground.

[Allison Rosen]

Someone wanted jelly beans, and you said, no, you won't be getting it.

[Adam Carolla]

Still not waste. It's. Yes, thank you. Still not wasting jelly beans. Throwing jelly beans out. Oh, my God, yes.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

What about going to the restaurant? You're done with your dinner, but there's still a little on the plate. Your.

[Adam Carolla]

Your.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Your thing, which again, is fantastic, is put it all in the toolbox, right? Because you bring it home, goes the dog, goes to you, goes, whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That's the same thing to me as, nah, keep your Ralph's club card. I don't want. I don't want the discount. You're leaving it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's wasting my money. I'm wasting my own money and leaving money on the table, but I'm not wasting food. Like, I'm not throwing. That's me wasting my own money.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That would go in the garbage.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's like saying this. You tip 10, you tip 20%. Let's say 20.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Yeah, 20.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Now, there's many times when you'll go to a diner, you'll order some eggs and whatever, and, you know, you'll just leave 20 bucks or whatever it is you're tipping. 30% or 35% or 40% or whatever it is. There are times sometimes when you go, the guy from the town car drives me to the airport, and the tip's included, but I still throw him 20 bucks, and you go, hey, you're wasting $20. But I don't feel like I'm wasting.

[Allison Rosen]

It sounds like you're upset at items being wasted, not money.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't mind. I'm not cheap. I just don't like stuff being. I had a moment. This was a great. This is a great. I had a great family family outing on Saturday night, which is. I said, we're going. I said, you know, I'm always on the road. I'm always working. I haven't been out to dinner in a million years. I want to go out with the family. There's a great barbecue place, Zeke's, who does our barbecue here. There's a great barbecue place I want to go, and I'm in the mood for some barbecue, and I've earned it. I've been on the road. I've been working my ass off. I haven't gone out to dinner in two months. I want to go to Zeke's. I want to have some Barbecue. And then Lynette gave me the barbecue, and I gave the. Yeah. And she goes, you know, not really in the mood for barbecue. And I said, they got salads, they got chicken. Then they start playing the kid card, you know, what about the kids? I said, sonny had a hot dog last time we were there. Sonny's funny. Sonny, do you want a hot dog? Yes. Fine. Hot dog. Yeah. But I said, I want barbecue. And she said, I'm not in the mood for it. And I said, is that because I want it or because you want something else? Because they have salads and everything else there. And how about the guy who kills himself every weekend just gets to go and have some goddamn barbecue on a Saturday night with his family, and there's plenty of shit on the menu. And to Lynette, Lynette said. She said, yeah, okay, fine. Let's go. So we get to Zeke's, and of course the guy says, It'll be a 25 minute wait, in which case Natalia, who always picks up on everyone's vibes, like, oh, come on, let's go to the Italian place. Come on, come on. And if she knows that I want this, she'll push that much harder. And then she does the. She did the walking down the sidewalk, trying to kill time, you know, she goes, all right, everybody who wants to eat Italian food, raise your hand. And, you know, everyone's hand flew up, and I said, all right, whoever's paying for this meal, raise your hand. And my hand flew up, and I said, well, I guess you've been outvoted by one single hand and a wallet that went up. But we kept walking, and Natalia kept going, come on, come on, come on. And eventually we got to a sushi place, which is the exact opposite of barbecue.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

What do you want when you're craving barbecue, right?

[Adam Carolla]

But everyone was like. And I was like, all right, listen, I like sushi. Fuck it. I didn't want to wait 25 minutes. Fine, let's have.

[Allison Rosen]

This whole story is making me so not excited to get married and ever have kids.

[Adam Carolla]

No. So we have my fiance, Daniel. No, I. Look, I said, look, we'll have some sushi. I like sushi. I was just. I was in barbecue mode. But it was a 25 minute wait. I understood they didn't want to wait. And the kids, you know, for them, that's half their life. So we go to the sushi joint, and of course, the ordering starts going insane. The wife's ordering the crispy this and the that and the tangy that and the hot, you know, the spicy tuna roll and all that kind of stuff. And now we're at the end. We've eaten edinami and the sake, and lynette's put away 19 different rolls. And we're like, alright, we're done. And there's like six rolls sitting there in front of us. And I'm going, all right, these things are going into a box and they're going home. And Lynette starts picking at them, right? And what she's doing is she's picking.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Out the tuna, disemboweling them.

[Adam Carolla]

Disemboweling. She's going, there's too much of the spicy tuna in these tuna rolls. And I just want to pick some of it out so I can, you know, kind of get the ratio a little better. And I'm like, you've had 19 rolls and you're 118 pounds. I think I'm hungry. She said. I said, I know, but if you really just. You've been eating nonstop for an hour. But she's like. And so she keeps picking. And so I'm like, you're picking out the most expensive part of the roll there. And she's eating the rice with her hand. And so at a certain point, there's like three left. And I can see her start. I'm like, you're just eating out of habit now. Like, you're just on it. You know how you start? You have to coast to a stop with your eating.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Spite me?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Well, you know, if you ever really just stop, you'd go, I'm done. But you're not. You're just kind of picking away at stuff, which you're kind of grazing, which I do. And sushi's great.

[Allison Rosen]

What a wonderful eating experience for her that must have been.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I didn't say anything until the end when I was like, why are you disemboweling these things? So at the end, we started to. I said, all right, there's three, four pieces of sushi left. We're going to collect these things up. I'm taking them home. And then I started scraping up the pieces of tuna, the spicy pink tuna that was just sort of scraped out of the thing. And she's like, what are you gonna do with that? And I'm like, I'm not throwing it out. And she's like, why not? I'm like, cause that was something that was alive.

[Allison Rosen]

It's not a spicy rice roll.

[Adam Carolla]

It was in the ocean and now it's here. And Somebody worked for it and I paid for it. And I'm taking it home and eating it. It's a cosmic thing for me. It has nothing to do with money. It has everything to do with energy. The energy. I always think about the energy, Monica.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Is that the entrepreneurial instinct?

[Monica Mehta]

No, that's fucked up shit.

[Adam Carolla]

It's fucked up shit, right?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Decisive.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But she was desecrating a piece of sushi right in front of me. I'm taking it home and tonight I will cobble it together.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

You may eat DIY sushi.

[Adam Carolla]

I will eat it nice. And to me, not everything you put in your body needs a lot of it can just be fuel for the next day. Like it doesn't, you know, just be an army. Cheap. That burns anything.

[Allison Rosen]

I bet it will taste good.

[Monica Mehta]

It may be spoiled.

[Adam Carolla]

It doesn't matter. I'll eat it anyway. Ah. Let's bring it home, baby girl.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zip it, cunt.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the news with Alison Rosen. Mmm. Allison Rose and your new best friend Lynette's gonna be on the show. This week's guest. So I'll be enjoying the sushi. You enjoy Allison Rosen and my wife.

[Allison Rosen]

Followed by want to give an advanced plug my fiance Daniel week. He's going to be on Monday and.

[Adam Carolla]

Thursday of my Show, Lookout World iTunes alisonrosen.com Also DraftKings Baby winning huge money. Never been easier. Not than now, baby. DraftKings.com America's favorite one day fantasy sports site. College or pro basketball. Even golf. We thought about that. Golf. That's right. Rewarding huge cash prizes. And they're doing it all this month. March Millions. Guy named James Tran won a million bucks in one day. A million bucks. Can you imagine that, Brian?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I absolutely can imagine that. I had a great time doing this during football season and very excited to see that they're back on board for basketball, college and pro. And golf for God's sake. Who knew you can do golf Fantasy sports.

[Adam Carolla]

Well now everyone. No season long commitments, no being stuck with the players. Just instant cash, instant gratification. Dawson. Right now you can play for free to win real [e-mail] up to 200 million bucks. Pick any sport like college basketball. The madness has already started and free spots are going quick. Enter [e-mail] before Friday for your free entry. That's adamaraftkings.com DraftKings.com all right.

[Monica Mehta]

I should tell that of a story.

[Adam Carolla]

I should tell you right now that one of our Fund anything. Perks is a little bit timely. Kelly James put it up there for available VIP tickets to the Liquid Soul music event. White Buffalo, All American Rejects. Love those guys. And I think Everclear's there and a bunch of other really cool bands in Glendale, Arizona. So if you want to check out that you can go to fund anything, we'll keep fighting the patent rolls with your help. God bless you. And I want to thank Jesse Ventura for coming in here. Off the grid. Name of the show, Monica Meadow. The entrepreneurial instinct is the name of the book. And until next time, this is Adam from Monica and Jesse and bald saying and me. Oh, sorry. Analysis. How quickly you forget sang. Mahalo. Hey, weird old guy with the weird eyebrows. Get out of the way.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Alright, this is Adam Carl Show 1273.

[Adam Carolla]

Coming up next, we have Adam Kroll.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Show 1282 featuring Gavin McInnes, Joe Coy, Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop, also from 2014. Check it out.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day. Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam Corolla and Bald Brian. Take those glasses off. I gotta drop a load on your cornea.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Pcm219 wanted that oldie but goodie from a couple years ago with a hashtag.

[Adam Carolla]

Top drop and Joe Coy. Hello, sir. Family favorite, Joe Coy in studio. First, a little piece of business. Sadly, a correction from the Rotten Tomatoes game of last week. I tied with Stephen Bishop at 71. Bold Bryant 72 coming in second and or well technically third place because we would add a tiebreaker. And Allison Rosen 80. I think Gary, you mean I didn't win? Took you literally.

[Allison Rosen]

I know. When I joked.

[Adam Carolla]

When you joked about getting the exact 43 or whatever it was and some astute or super, super sad pathetic listener on Twitter.

[Allison Rosen]

Why can't it be both listeners?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, listeners gave at least shot me the whole breakdown. Joe Coy, good to see you. Joe Coy. By the way, live Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas. That's March 21st. And the Houston Improv April 3rd through the 5th. Always great to see Jo Coy again. Thank you, sir. I had this reaction today. I looked out my window and I was with my daughter and there was a squirrel on the front lawn and doing that cute move when they sit up on their sort of rump. It's always cute. Any animal. I'm convinced that's why the panda bear is our favorite animal. It's the only one that sits like us. Really sits like you sat. When you're four years old just on your ass with your feet out in front of you. It's no you don't see a moose do that. You don't see many other animals do that full.

[Allison Rosen]

Never a cow.

[Adam Carolla]

Reptiles. Never fucking. Just. They got too much tail on them. And dogs are only cute when they sit up like that, too. Yeah, well, any animal that does the back on. And so the squirrel, when it sort of stands up and eats its little nut, whatever it's doing. So I was. We were looking at it, and she's like, oh, look at the squirrel. And I said, said, yeah, look at the squirrel. And I said, you know, let's. Let's say hi to the squirrel. You know, when I open up, as soon as I open the. It even sauce looking through the window at it, good. 20ft away. Just saw us looking, scurried off, and I thought, yeah, that's. That's what squirrels do. And then I thought, what's the beef? You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

Why. Why. Why so afraid of us?

[Adam Carolla]

I've never punched a squirrel. It's not like, oh, shit, there's Corolla. He was. He. You know, he lives off squirrel soup. You know, like, I don't eat squirrel. We don't eat squirrel. You gotta go to, like. Only Karl Malone eats squirrel. He does go squirrel hunting.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

It's hard to confuse you with Karl Malone.

[Adam Carolla]

I cannot be confused with the mailman. What I'm saying is, why. Why the attitude? You know, I don't feel like, you know, pigeons. We don't eat pigeons. But they sort of realize it and they'll come around. And there are other little woodland creatures that'll sort of hang out with you a little bit. Even raccoons and things. They'll come and squirrel.

[Allison Rosen]

Time for someone to broker the piece with them.

[Adam Carolla]

You can kick a pigeon and it'll still come back. I get it. No, it's like, eat the rest of that popcorn. Like someone who's a dad. Dad abused them as a youngster, and they're a bad relationship now, and they can't help it. They keep coming back like Rihanna or something. Squirrel. Squirrel's like a crackhead for the animals. It really is. Crackhead just pops out like, hey, I mean, that's. No. All right. Yeah. And it's like, it's always real nervous all the time. And it's like, hey, it's not like I ever went chasing after you. It's not like I tried to eat you. It's not like I chased you up a tree. It's not like I've thrown a rock at you. I just want to check you out. What's the Big whoop. We don't share some of the same stuff. Like, I'm not never like that. Hey, those are my acorns. What the fuck? And who wants acorns? That's my point. Squirrels want acorns. I'm saying someone needs to tell a.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Squirrel, you're eating the worst nut.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Somebody, the worst nut. Somebody needs to tell. Like, I understand certain relationships with certain animals. Like great white sharks. All right? They think we're seals, fine. They're going out. You know, they're hungry, they're stupid, whatever. Somebody needs to have a discussion with the squirrel and go like, hey, Rocky, mellow out. Like, we're. We're not. We're not the enemy. We don't. Especially in the environment we're in. Yeah, we're not doing anything to you. Let me and my daughter come check you out.

[Allison Rosen]

It's unflattering. You know, the squirrely has a bad connotation. Yeah, that's what I would say to them. Say you're giving your species a bad name.

[Adam Carolla]

And it all of a sudden, I don't know why, but it makes you feel just a little bit guilty. Like when you pop out and somebody tears out a thing, heads out, jumps on a tree and scurries away on an electrical wire, you're like, what the fuck? What do I got going here? Squirrel is like that person that brags about shit that no one really wants. That's what a squirrel is like. The squirrel's like, I got this acorn. It's like, we don't give a fuck about your acorn. Yeah, it's like that guy that brags about, you know, hey, look at this. I got a brand new three wheel bike. Yeah, yeah, three wheel bike. You guys want to ride the three wheel bike? No one wants your fucking three wheel bike. Speaking of sad, you know, in our pantheon of what is more pathetic, I have a new entrance or entry into this. Okay, we have guy, fat guy, riding bicycle, built for two, alone. Very sad. I mean, just imagery wise. Yeah, we have guy on wheelchair propelling himself with his feet only backwards behind through the intersection. Tough. I think Eric Stonestreet mentioned the blind guy with the collapsible cane that was all fucked up at the end. So it's kind of flaccid and busted up and, you know, just kind of sagging at the end.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Floppy cane syndrome.

[Adam Carolla]

Know what I saw two days ago? Guy, one rollerblade on, propelling himself around like a skateboard. Just on the one rollerblade. Other one had that. Had The Ked, you know, like a flip flop on one foot and then the rollerblade on the other.

[Allison Rosen]

Which one was he missing?

[Adam Carolla]

He was missing the left one, I do believe.

[Allison Rosen]

Was that. I mean, could he not find another Ked, or could he not find another Rollerblade?

[Adam Carolla]

That's a good question. I did not want to engage.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Was he like the Flamingo? Like, he was one leg in the air, rolling along.

[Adam Carolla]

He would, you know, like, sort of like you would do. Yeah, like you would do on a skateboard if you just sort of kept the one foot. You know, once in a while, you see a guy riding a skateboard where he never puts the other foot, like, back up on the other thing. One was paddling and the other was sort of rolling and balancing. So what happens when he gets to his destination? Does he just take, like, I'm here. And then he unbuckles his rollerblade boot? Unclear what his destination is or if he has one. But I just thought, this is a sad state of affairs in 2014. This was something I would have seen in my childhood because people didn't have a lot of shit. But in today's world of, you know, ebay and everything cranked out in China, you can get a second Rollerblade pretty cheap, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Or a second Ked.

[Adam Carolla]

Or a second Ked. I had a meeting. I had a meeting with this guy. And at the end of the meeting, he goes, all right, man, it's good talking to. And then he skated off on those tennis shoes. I swear. Grown man. And I had to stop him. I go, those skate shoes, Okay, I got my son a pair. And I. I kind of liked him. I got myself a pair. I'm like, you came to the meeting.

[Allison Rosen]

With those on adult sizes.

[Adam Carolla]

He literally went like this, all right, man, see ya. And just skated to his car.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Was it Willy Wonka?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. It was the funniest thing. Just a growing. He did a little circle, like a360, everything. Oh, he's just showing off this. Oh, you should have seen him. Wow. And it was like, at the end of the meeting, he was like, oh, I got something good for him. Watch this shit. All right, Joe, can I say this? Fireworks and lawn darts, illegal. Yeah. Soon the E Cigarette. But the tennis shoes with the wheels on them. Yes. No problemo. In terms of a liability. My daughter ate complete shit on those things. Just walking through the hills, decided to just go for Banzai Run and just fucking ate. Hate. But you're putting wheels, like, what. What. What's next?

[Allison Rosen]

It's the Opposite of tread.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's like, hey, tennis shoes with banana peels. The cat show. I'm like, whoa, whoa, we're gonna get sued out of existence. We can't sell that. Why not?

[Gavin McInnes]

No, you don't understand.

[Allison Rosen]

The banana peel is just on the back of the shoe, tip into it.

[Adam Carolla]

This is. This is a diver's mask. It comes with fire ants. Like, no, no, we can't. You can't do that. Hey, mom, look at these new shoes I got from Chiquita. They're amazing. Slip every time I walk, Mom. Yeah. Is that the chick who makes the jewelry out of teeth? The point is this. How come you can have shoes with wheels built into them? And no, you can't have sparklers on the fucking beach or E cigarettes. Like, is there anything inherently that's gonna fuck somebody up especially? And the only one who wants them are 8 year olds who have no fear of anything whatsoever. How many of those kids have gone sailing out into the intersection with the fucking wheels attached to their shoes?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

A simple danger index for things like top 100 dangerous things. And see how many of those hundred are actually banned, restricted in some way. And how many are the wheeled shoes?

[Adam Carolla]

The wheeled.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Probably towards the top. Not restricted in any way.

[Adam Carolla]

It is weird and fucked up. First off, you don't put any protection on because you're not going out roller skating or rollerblading or skateboarding. You're not doing anything. So you don't put the elbow pads and the wrist brace and the helmet on. You just put your shorts and your tank top on and then you go sailing into the intersection.

[Allison Rosen]

I just assumed there must be something I don't understand about them. And they must be safe because I see them so frequently. They're extremely. Usually at the airport, you suddenly see a kid spinning in a little circle. Yeah, yeah. Then this makes more sense now that they're not safe.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I mean, there's a safe in putting wheels on shoes. Not safe at all. But I mean, it's, you know, if you want to take it easy, but you don't. You want to have fun with it. And eventually you hit a crack, you break mom's back. It's better than when we were kids, Adam, because my mom bought me the metal adjustable with the leather. It had a leather belt that went over your toe. I had that. And it didn't even roll. It didn't roll. He just walked with metal wheels on. Yeah. That's all you did. It just scraped. Yeah, it was like you were wearing those shoes you can buy In a sky mall to sod your lawn or to aerate your lawn. Your lawn. It's like that's about all they were. All they were is if you ever fall into the pool, you'll die. That's all. That's. That's what they were for. Your last moments would be wrestling with that leather strap that was spun around on your ankle while you're down on the drain. That's what the mafia will put on your feet just before they threw you into the ocean and get those roller blades and put it on his feet. They were adjustable metal blades with metal wheels, wheels and ball bearings that never quite worked. With a leather strap, brown leather belt that went over your toe. And they just go over and they'd strap in and they made tons and tons of noise and then marked up whatever surface you were on.

[Allison Rosen]

Like you would attach your shoe, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You had attached. You would put your shoe.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And then they strap onto your shoe.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It was an iron maiden for your foot is what it was. Was shitt. Shitty skinny.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Worst tagline ever, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Shitty, shitty metal wheels. All right. We'll find a picture of that if we can. All right. We're talking about Joe Coy, everybody. Joe is going to do a little singing with us. Oh, there they are. Yeah, that's it. That's them. I had those metal wheels. Metal everything. Zero, but zero traction to the metal wheels. Look at the rust. Heavier than shit.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Those are new.

[Adam Carolla]

Your foot would clip into these things. Remember the clip? It had the. The bear cage or whatever it's called. The Bear trap. Leather strap holder. Yeah. The good news is not only would you eat shit, but you'd get tetanus from the thing you ate shit on. Fucking disgusting. All right, you know what? I'm gonna bring some good news into all your life. The boox.com buying flowers online sucks. You know the deal. $19.99. Then you walk out of there and it's $74.50. Right. Know what I'm talking about? Theboooks.com, whole new way to send flowers. That is t h e b o u q s dot com. Why? How do you do it? How's it work? Send flowers. Straight from a sustainable farm, by the way, located in an active volcano in South America. So let's get on this before she blows is what I'm saying. Yeah, It's a serious active volcano. It's volcano flowers. I got a flat rate. It's 40 bucks with free delivery. And you get your loved ones Beautiful flowers. You save cash. Let me say this, fellas, for the money. The flowers around, you know, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, birthday. Good, but expected bouquet flowers on Mother's Day. That gets you up to about even. Just because flowers. That's the best 40 bucks you're ever going to spend in your life.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Or got caught with your sister flowers just because. Anyway, limited time, 20% off with the promo code Adam. Go to the books.comt h e b o u q s dot com, click the shop button and let them know you heard here. Promo code Adam.

[Allison Rosen]

But not your sister that you got caught with.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no, not. Yeah, wouldn't be one.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, flowers would be good for that occasion too. But that's specific market.

[Adam Carolla]

That will solve the problem, though, right? With the sister and hey, look, dozen roses. We were laughing about Ruby taking the love to town and this reminded me, actually, I was laughing about this with my buddy Daniel Kellison. And we're Talking about Norm MacDonald, as we always do. Gary, you can look up Brian, you'll be interested in this. Who Wants to Be a millionaire with Norm MacDonald. Did you ever see this thing?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Another celebrity editions. And once in a while, I don't think I ever saw Norm do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, as we all know, Norm's insane. But Norm's a genius.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

He's also very smart.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? That's the genius part, but he's insane.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

But additionally.

[Adam Carolla]

Additionally, he's insane. He's smart and he's a genius. And I'd never seen this thing with him and Regis. He got. Now, the reason my buddy Daniel brought it up is because he was playing for the Hole in the Wall foundation, the kids, Paul Newman's foundation. I've been working on this documentary and we've been getting a little into his foundation, his charity, and that's who Norm was playing for. And he did this move and I've done these celebrity whatevers before where you go, final answer. And they go, are you sure? And you go, I was. Why now? I don't know. No, I'm just saying. Oh, so. No, no, no. I'm just asking if you're sure. So, yeah, okay, final answer. Okay, so that's what you want to do then. And you're like, no. Why? What are we doing here? What's going on? Like, what do you.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you think they're trying to give you code or something?

[Adam Carolla]

You don't know in those situations because it's the celebrity version where they kind of, you know, they play very fast.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

And Loose with the rules, people yelling out answers.

[Adam Carolla]

And, you know, yeah, it's like a celebrity softball game. And, you know, the chick from the Bachelorette swings three times and strikes out. And someone goes, ah, give her another pitch. You know, like, it's not a bunch of strict rules, you know? So when the host goes, are you sure now? You go. And, of course, you're already up in your head. So you're up in your head, and you're looking for anything. So you're really sensitive. And when they go, are you sure? Because that's a lot of money. You go, oh, then maybe. No, then. But you don't know what they know. So he was showing me this thing. He gets the 500,000 bucks. He's going for the million dollar question.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I didn't realize he did quite that well.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's going for a million dollars. He's out of lifelines and out of the 5050 and out of everything. And I. By the way, I know the million dollar question Just because I saw one of my Modern Marvel shows about this place, which was a bunker that was built in a golf resort in the Poconos or something for, like, Congress to go to, like, in the 60s, you know, during the Cold War, whatever it was. I just remember Tour, seeing Modern Marvels, how it was built. This thing in the back of this thing. Now, we don't have to watch the entire thing, but you would see the end. Norm is gonna pick the right answer for a million dollars, and Reach is gonna talk him out of it. Just check it out, baby. Tell me what you want to do. I think I was gonna. I think Pinehurst is too obvious. So I guess I would say greenbrier. All right. Greenbrier. What are you making that page for? Forget it.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I.

[Allison Rosen]

Scared to death.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, give me that. Forget it. I'll just give it half a million. All right. What do you think? Take a guess. I have no idea. I said, my guess is, I guess I was wrong.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

It must be one of those.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you say greenbrier?

[Gavin McInnes]

I said, yeah, yeah, you would have won a million.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, you got to go back a little further, Gary, because it leads. He does it twice. The first time he says the greenbrier, he makes a. You know, that the face, like. Okay, you know, I mean, they always say, don't go with the obvious one, right? That's what somebody told me backstage.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

This is such a great show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. See, here's the problem. Let's say I lose all that money and it gets back to Paul Newman. That's gonna be a problem.

[Gavin McInnes]

You'd lose $468,000. I wouldn't lose it.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

The children.

[Adam Carolla]

Of course the children would lose it. But you would lose it for the children. You don't want to do that, do you? I don't know, man. You got a little gambling streak in you, don't you? Big. You want to see if you could beat the game, don't you?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

You think we just knew that he was a gambler.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to win a million dollars?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

He's pretty young in this clip.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm gonna say pine. You're gonna say what? I was thinking Piners. But you say. Don't go with the obvious. So I'll say Greenbrier, please. Before you say final answer.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Ignore.

[Adam Carolla]

He said Greenbrier.468. It does. Unless you're sure. Okay, fine.

[Jesse Ventura]

Forget.

[Adam Carolla]

Could be Piner. Is that what you're going to say?

[Gavin McInnes]

I.

[Adam Carolla]

Give me the half of the rest.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you. Do you want to walk? What do you. I have to find out if you want to walk away. Well, no. I was going to answer a question. Were you talking? I quit. It's too much for me. I can't stand it. What do you want to do, baby? Tell me what you want to do.

[Jesse Ventura]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

I. I think it. I was gonna. I think Pinehurst is too obvious. So I guess I would say green. What's your name? Greenbrier. What are you making that base for? Forget it.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm scared to death.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Give me that. Forget it. I'll just.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That's twice that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he did it.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That's twice that.

[Monica Mehta]

He.

[Adam Carolla]

He was saying the green briar. And he's starting to say final answer. And he cut him off and went, oh, yeah. Like, what are you doing that for?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

It cost that charity half a million bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, look, there's four potential answers. He decided to go for it. He decided to put the half million up on the line and go for the million. He did. The Pinehurst. Whatever was too obvious. Greenbrier is what he sort of deduced. And you could tell he wasn't feeling super confident about it. But yet he's a gambler. And he was going to make that choice. And he did, and he got cut off.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Now, before you go on the show. And they probably did this to the celebrities, too. Before you go on the show. When I went on the show, they tell you. They specifically tell you. The host, Meredith, the time. But breaches also, I assume the host doesn't know the answer. Don't think they're trying to give you any clues by the way they read the answer, their inflection, the reaction. They don't know the answer. I mean, to the more advanced questions, maybe the hundred dollar questions, they do. And so I was instructed as such. I bet legally they told Norm the same thing. But because it's the celebrity game and they do kind of play fast and loose to the rules, he was confused. He thought that Regis was steering him.

[Adam Carolla]

And because it was the million dollar question, you just think, well, he's gonna know the answer to that one.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

So they specifically say the host is not trying to steer you. But sometimes in the celebrity games, they do.

[Adam Carolla]

Well. Well, either way, it doesn't happen that often that you go for the million dollar question. You choose it twice, and then you kind of get it. Talk. The guy cuts you off. Norm's still pissed. He should have won that. Yes, he should have. Yeah, they should have. They should have awarded that to the charity. Seeing how it was the charity.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I agree.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I think my favorite episode is the one where the guy. The intro took longer than him being on the game because it was the first question.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

He was like, a few guys have gotten.

[Adam Carolla]

That is my favorite. And it was the obvious thing. It was like. It was like elephant. It like blank elephant. And like, it had different colors. And he didn't say pink.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Yeah, it was.

[Adam Carolla]

He goes, all right, you guys have.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Gotten washed out in the first place.

[Adam Carolla]

Have a nice day.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

It's sad when they use some lifelines too. They're like, I don't know. I gotta ask the audience.

[Adam Carolla]

I had to do one of those. The first one of these fucking things I ever did was like Pictionary or whatever it was. I was Burt Reynolds hosts, you know, 1997, when there was bringing all those games back and I had no. I didn't play a lot of parlor games growing up. But the Corals didn't have a parlor.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Didn'T have game night, nor a parlor.

[Adam Carolla]

So we had Hunger Games night. We just ran while people chased us with flaming spears looking for food. So I didn't have a lot of that. But I'll never forget, you know, they throw you dry erase marker and a race. You know, they go, is it win, lose or draw? Something like that. Yeah, draw it out for your team. There's two things in your mind. What your mind thinks and what your hand does in terms of drawing are completely different things. Like, you know, you go, well, the thing will be like, it's the blue grass of Kentucky. So you go, all Right. I'll draw a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. And, like, people are like, space shuttle astronaut, space pilot, a porta potty. And you're like, no, drum.

[Jesse Ventura]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Now you're trying to draw the colonel. And they're like, Charles Manson. Drum, drum, Manson. And you're like, no, Your mind is picturing a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Your fucking hand is not agreeing at all with what's up. I think it's a lot like putting on earphones and singing along with your favorite music. Like, you sound in your mind. You're sounding fucking sweet. What everyone else is hearing is she. Then you're drawing grass, and you're trying to get something that's blue waves or cow. You know, you keep pointing at things and no one knows the fuck you're talking about. I got. I just remember they, like, looked at the piece of paper, and it was like, an elephant never forgets. And I was like, first off, I don't know how popular that is. Okay, fine. I draw an elephant. It's like, elephant. Okay? It took, you know, two minutes. Elephant. Elephant, good. Now, like, I'm pointing at his head. You know, elephant head, elephant skull, elephant scalp, elephant head. You know, like trying to draw a brain. I don't know how you fucking draw. How would you draw. Forget. How could you even imagine? If you had a hundred years and a thousand pieces of chalk, you can draw an elephant. But since everyone doesn't say it's not stitching, time saves nine. You know, an elephant never forgets. It's not really something that's tossed about that liberally, and all you can do is point at the elephant or draw like a bubble over the elephant. And then he. Oh, he forgot.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Elephant dreams.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what it was. Elephant skull, elephant brain, elephant dreams. I was like, I have no idea how. That was the first one I got. Fuck this. All right. Do we have. We have a little. Anyway, Norm MacDonald reminded me of Ruby and Bungalow. Sue always reminds me of whenever. Whenever we sing. But we have a bed. I just. We just thought you could listen to a little, you know, Ruby, you want.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

To hear a little bit of the original?

[Adam Carolla]

A little. The original, saddest song in the world. You know how much pressure this is? It's. I know. Not on me, though. You couldn't pick Gambler.

[Jesse Ventura]

Something that happened.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we go over this song in. In great detail in this. On this podcast, and everyone seems to love when Norm MacDonald does, you know. I don't know. All right, you get the idea. I think we got the. Who got the idea. You got the idea. You know Ruby.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Do you want to explain the concept of the song to him?

[Adam Carolla]

Ruby's about a guy. He was. He was. He was. His legs were bent and paralyzed in that Asiatic war. Oh, in. He deserve it. Yeah. The Korean War, actually. That's conflict, you know. And that's what he gets. A leg when you come in here. Well, yeah. Well, he comes back to United States and has a young beautiful wife, you know. Yeah. That he can no longer walk to. Right. He can't walk. You know how we feel. Yes. In our country. He's so. He's. She's getting all dolled up and going to town. Oh, yeah. To be with a man.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

A man with legs. Legs at work and bangluss. Who got legs? That's what I'm saying. Ruby don't have legs. Ruby's got legs. Do you know who do have legs? Who? Rooster. That's right. Yeah. So she made. She's going in to see the rooster. You know what I'm saying? Rooster come inside the house. He walk with flip flop on. We make love all night until the breaker dawn. Your man fight a war. He lose his leg. No longer can do the things in bed that the rooster can do for you. Yes, I'm the rooster.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

This has got to be insulting to the guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Right in front of him that makes love to his woman. Oh, I make love to you.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

An Asian man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And the. The guy who bent and paralyzed his. I don't care about him. I'll push him down the hill in his chair. Now follow us in backstage and makes love to his beautiful bride. Yes. Now you know how I feel. He thought he left his problems behind with that Asianic war. I bring it right back to you. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Now you know how our country feels. I screw you. Yeah. And the wife. Yes. Right. Yeah. Ruby. Yeah. I got both of my legs. Yeah, I know you're usually got a flip flop on. Yeah. Guess what I can do. Make love like a rooster. I got a little penis. I don't care. It can work if it has no hair. You. You see it right there. It's in your face. And the rooster creep right on you. Where's your man with no legs? He's better off today. Oh, yeah. No, he's getting old. He is getting old. You listen to the song? Oh, I am listening. I'm the one singing it. No, I'm sorry, he picked up. If you can just be quiet for a second. You're interrupting. You Know why? You're pissing me off. You know why?

[Monica Mehta]

Why?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm the Rooster. Yeah, they said. They. They say it won't be long till he's not around. Ah, you know, there's a death wish. I can take care of it. Sooner he wants to get his guy. Pai go with me. Yeah, sure. And guess what? I'm the Rooster. He's trying to. Thank you, Rooster. I appreciate it. Thank you. I'll be here all night. He's trying. Pai Gow Tuesday. He's trying to get his gun and put him into the ground, but he can't. We can't get to it. Can't get to your gun. You have no leg, asshole.

[Allison Rosen]

It was an improvement on the song.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Allison Rosen]

Even the tune.

[Adam Carolla]

So thank you. Oh, by the way, we have. Dick Banks wrote a ditty. I've not heard it yet, but I think it has to do with Allison's recent nuptials. So let's hear it.

[Allison Rosen]

He always finds last.

[Adam Carolla]

He had choices. They were two. Blood or poo. Just blood or poo. Rosen's bleeding. Constipated, too. Blood or poo. Blood or poo. This is great. These are Uptown Honeymoon 6. All holes are closed. Next year, they'll have the anniversary of blood.

[Allison Rosen]

This, coupled with the song about what happened in the dressing room could be a concept album.

[Adam Carolla]

God, that was a beautiful song. Yeah, nice. Yeah. That brought tears in my eyes. Yeah. Dick Banks.

[Allison Rosen]

Meaningful.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That will probably be someone's first dance song someday.

[Adam Carolla]

It could be.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

It's that good.

[Adam Carolla]

Couple of questions. Line five, John 40, Baltimore.

[Jesse Ventura]

Hey, Ace, thanks for taking my call.

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on, man?

[Jesse Ventura]

Listen, it's about the snow here in Baltimore. And I think I got a typical chicken shit ticket here in Baltimore. If it's snowing and you leave your car running to warm it up in your driveway, you can get a ticket. Just wondering what you think is the worst chicken shit ticket you've ever heard of.

[Adam Carolla]

The chicken as shit. Of all the tickets out here are being on a slight grade and not having your wheels turned in toward the curb. Which was understandable when it was enacted in 1939, when every car on the road was a stick ship. A car could pop out of gear or may not have been in gear and could roll down the hill. But now, seeing how you cannot get your keys out of the ignition without putting your car in park, and it's impossible to move the car once the car is in park, then we no longer need that anymore.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That's a. That's a Ticket writing festival for the right cop or parking enforcement. As you'll see a guy going up and down a hill with just riding tickets. The wheels aren't curbed.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. That is as chicken shitty as it gets out here, John. Right on, man.

[Jesse Ventura]

And the best part is. And then I'll let you go. And again, I appreciate you taking my call. The best is when they tweet out like that. You shouldn't do that. They put it on their Twitter account.

[Adam Carolla]

And I love writing in.

[Jesse Ventura]

How about tweeting out? How about don't steal a car?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, right? So it's like. Yes, it's that thing where they go, well, cars running in the driveway. We write you a ticket because people can steal your car. It's like, hey, cops. Your job is to stop people from stealing my car, not write me tickets. Like, yeah, well, we'll just use your logic. If we just had steel panels up where the windows were, no one could ever break into your car either. But that's not the kind of fucking the Armageddon we want to be living in. Right? Like, we want to be living in a place where you're allowed to park your car on your property and leave it running so it can get up to temperature before you jump in said car. You cops go after the bad guys who steal the cars and don't turn the taxpayers into the bad guys. Mm. Yeah, we have the. We have the thing. It literally said it. My high school had it on its electronic, you know, thing that's, you know, welcome, you know, juniors or back to school night or whatever. They all have the display up now, where the sort of school sign is up in the front of the. On the corner of the high school. This one said, lock it, hide it, keep it. I just remember thinking, inspirational. Yeah. But also, it's like, hey, cops, stop telling us to do your job. Essentially, you fucking do it. Why? Why? You know that thing of like, hey, you're stupid enough to leave your cell phone on your passenger seat, then what? Why? Why? Why do we live in that society? Exactly.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Right on.

[Jesse Ventura]

And then the new one around here is you're walking down the street with your, you know, your cell phone, your iPhone out, and you get mugged for it. And they tell you, well, don't walk out. Don't walk down the street showing your cell phone or. Or your iPhone. Right. You know, you're a target for crime. So.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jesse Ventura]

Well, that's where we live now.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's a great. See advice given by the cups. Yeah, you should answer your Cell phone at home. You should break a broomstick off in your asshole so you're not violently raped out on the street. It's your fault before you leave the house. You should have known better. Yeah, that shit always, always fucking drives me nuts. And then the part also now, at least in la, the cops don't even pretend. Like they just go, you know, somebody goes, somebody stole my laptop. And they're like, well, good luck. That's never gonna happen. You're never gonna get that back. Yeah, they just. Now it's a whole lower your expectation. That's how somebody ran into my house while I was out of town.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

The new house?

[Adam Carolla]

No, the old house. And Lynette called the cops and they're like, well, did he, did he hit the house or he just kind of clip it.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Physically ran inside the structure. He hit the outside.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a drunk driver, just drunk. He just slumped over the wheel like the airbag went off. He was throwing his booze bottles, like out down, down the hill, you know, into the scrub and everything. And they're like, we don't have anyone in the neighborhood. Like, well, we're in the middle of Hollywood. Just go ahead and sit. Here's what. Pretend somebody parked their fucking car and didn't turn the wheels in. Now would you have somebody in the fucking neighborhood? Yeah, we'll be right there, sir.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That's your mistake. You should have said, there's someone littering. Come right now and write him a ticket. Never. They would have been on top of.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, right. I saw someone throw a cigarette butt.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

On the money making opportunities, throwing bottles out the window. Come get them.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm utterly convinced that a guy got killed about two years ago in Pasadena because a guy got his laptop snatched. Stolen, whatever they pulled out of his hands. And they run, ran. He called the police department and he said, they stole my laptop. And they're like, well, what are you going to do? And he said, they had a gun. And then the cops went, oh, they had a gun. And then they rolled on it. And then they rolled up on the guy who didn't have a gun and then they shot the guy dead. The guy got his laptop stolen, said they had a gun because he wanted the cops. You. Now you have to cook the story. Yeah. Meaning if you just say, oh, somebody just stole some of my shit, or somebody just ran into my wall of my house. That's not enough. You have to say, oh, he's bleeding profusely from the neck, or he pulled a machete. Like, you have to sweeten the pot. Like, coax him to. Coax him to come out, do their fucking job. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Was that someone you knew or. That was a news story.

[Adam Carolla]

That was a news story that I sort of cobbled together because I was like, I knew the guy, said they had a gun because they wanted him to do something. Because if you just call the police department and go, hey, they stole my Mac, they'd go, well, yeah, you know.

[Allison Rosen]

If that were dazzled. What I'm wondering is, I wonder if the guy whose laptop was stolen, who said the guy had a gun, I wonder if he feels guilty. Like, would you. Even though you shouldn't really have to. To think that someone died because of. We have.

[Adam Carolla]

Fuck him. Yeah. I'm just gonna steal other shit. I probably would. And I. Look, I have this thing, which is this. I've always had this thing. If you jump over someone's fence just to steal their hibachi, and they have a rottweiler, and that dog just fucking disembowels you, that's kind of on you now. It's a little much for hibachi. On the other hand, don't jump over people's fences and grab their shit, and there'll be no chance of this ever happening to you. All right, got a couple of calls. Our guest is here. Oh, Bollywood. That's right. You saw a movie. What movie was it again?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

The Grand Budapest Hotel. It's a new Wes Anderson movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Interesting. Let me give a little love to E Voice and then tell me all about Phil Rosenthal. This is one of his movies he was showing. I did not see it at his place, so I'm interested. Ah, Evoice, you got a business. You want to make money. You want to sound like a Fortune 500. Wait a minute. Fortune 450 company. That's right. Going the extra mile, you want to stand out from your competitors. Evoice. Get your own toll free number. Professional greeting. Dial by name, directory and more. And they got the number that rings wherever you are. You can be at the beach or at the bar, or at the bar that's in the beach. My favorite bar. Stay on top of your business. Take all your voicemails and it transcribes them and. And sends them to you as a text. I like that. That's my favorite part. Anyway, Evoice, now you want to check it out? You can try eVoice free, 30 days plus special discount. Right now, my listeners can try eVoice for free, 30 days free, plus a special discount of $5 off every month. Forever that's under 8 bucks. Go to evoice.com right now. Now sign up for your free trial. Enter promo code Adam for the additional $5 off per month. That's evoice.com promo code ACE. Evoice, baby. All right. Should we do a little baldiwood? Brian. Hooray for bald awards. He will tell you if a movie's good. Brian will review the flicks that he's.

[Gavin McInnes]

Seen up on the big screen or.

[Adam Carolla]

In his Netflix queue. Before you spend bucks, remember, his taste sucks. He loved that train wreck piece of shit transformers 2. Hooray for body War.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Yes. The Grand Budapest Hotel is in theaters now and is written and directed by Wes Anderson. You guys know him from the Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, moonrise kingdom, fantastic, Mr. Fox, which I loved. Have your kids seen Fantastic?

[Adam Carolla]

My son loves that movie, Clooney's movie.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

He was the voice. He was the lead voice.

[Adam Carolla]

I just want to say I was watching Rushmore the other day, or at least part of it. I thought he gets. Covers a lot of ground with cool music, but I feel like sometimes there's a little Much Ado about something.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Sizzle May not a lot of steak.

[Adam Carolla]

A little of that.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

So this whole thing, this. The Grand Budapest Hotel, which is in theaters now, feels like a parody of a Wes Anderson movie, right down to the cast. There's a guy in the lead named Tony Revolori, but then the cast is way Fiennes, F. Murray Abraham, Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum, Jude Law, Harvey Keitel, Bill Murray, Ed Norton, Jason Schwartz, Tilda Swinton, Bob Balaban, Tom Wilkinson and Owen Wilson. It's a very Wes Anderson cast. It's all his people and people of his ilk. So the film starts out laying up some very. This would drive you nuts. Very needlessly ground. Needlessly elaborate groundwork. It starts off with a girl going to an author's grave site with the author's book in her hand. She opens the book and starts reading. We then flashback to the author as an old man telling you how he's gonna tell his story. We then flash back. That's Tom Wilkinson. We flash back again to the author as a young man. He's Jude Law and he's a journalist. And he's now telling you this story. He's interviewing F. Murray Abraham, who's an old man, who then says, I'm gonna tell you a story. And flashes back to the story that is now the movie. And that's in the first five minutes. And it's absurd. It's like a hipster inception. Like, it just goes on and on. You don't know what you're following. So it's needlessly elaborate. The story sort of a quirky caper about quirky people doing quirky things at a quirky hotel. It's very, very quirky. And I'm sitting there and I'm hating it and I'm not enjoying it. And I'm thinking, Wes Anderson is like the white Tyler Perry. He's making movies for his fans and his fans only. This is not for everyone. This is for his people. And he's using the same people in his cast over and over again and kind of the same strike story and everyone else be damned. If you don't like it, it's not.

[Adam Carolla]

For you, is it? I feel like it's. He gets to hide behind the hipster mantle of like. Well, if you don't get it, then you just don't.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

You know, there's a lot. I got a few tweets about that when I was saying how much I'd enjoyed the movie. It's like, oh, this is a brilliant movie. It's like, maybe, maybe for you, maybe it's for his fans and his fans may love it. And if you're a fan of his films, this is an A plus. This is. This is everything you want out of a Wes Anderson movie. For the rest of us, it's a little tough to get.

[Adam Carolla]

What are the movies that we like that. That he's. That he's made.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I love the Royal Tenenbaums, but when it came out, it was very fresh.

[Allison Rosen]

I loved Rushmore and I loved Royal Tenenbaums, and then I couldn't make it through Life Aquatic.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Life Aquatic was rough.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I couldn't watch it. But when I was watching Rushmore. Yeah, Rushmore, and I was. I was starting to just sort of watch it with some distance. I don't know, 15 years worth of distance on it. Realizing it was really a well crafted film. But a lot of it was just a lot of the right music put at a real high volume at the right place and people walking the right way and dressed the white right way and stuff. But it wasn't. I was missing. I don't know, it just didn't seem that much to it. Like, I liked. I liked the movie, like election a lot more. I just thought it moved. It had much more of a story to it. It was much more interesting to me. It wasn't stylized. It was just story and execution.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I think. I think Elections are a better movie, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it? I don't know, but I feel like there's a lot of hipsters that would go with, I liked Rushmore. Now, what's Rotten Tomatoes, Gary? Sorry.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

On this movie or on Rushmore?

[Adam Carolla]

No, Rushmore versus Election.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I think Election's pretty high. That's an Alexander Payne movie. That's. That's a well respected movie.

[Adam Carolla]

But is Rushmore High? Rushmore's 87 now. Let's see what election is. 92. So we're both right. No, I didn't. I'm saying it's right up there.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

It's more or less the same.

[Adam Carolla]

And top critics, I'll bet you Rushmore gets a little bump on the top critics because they love those kinds of movies.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

And I hope this doesn't come across like I'm hating Wes Anderson just because some arbitrary thing. I loved Rushmore was good and the Reltanebaums and I love Fantastic Mr. Fox. That's a really enjoyable movie. This one just didn't. Didn't do it for me.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, only 79 on Rushmore with the. With the highfalutin crowd. And election 92. The same.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

That's a great movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that movie. I love that movie, too. All right, good job, Brian. Hooray for Bounty War. All right, Jo Coy, everybody. Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas. He was wonderful when we were there with him a couple weeks back, and he's going to be wonderful on March 21st. Also, the Houston Improv coming up April 3rd through the 5th. And the podcast the yo and Joe Show. New episodes available every Tuesday on itunes and the website jocoi j o k o y joecoi.com always a delight. Joe Koy. I love you, man. I love where you put. I love where you put the Evel Knievel picture. It's going up on the wall. You promise? Oh, Joe got me a wonderful Evel Knievel right next to this. You put it right next to. It's leaned. First off, you gotta understand what's going on in my life right now. I have. That's like 30 fucking things going on all at once. And I do. And I've literally been bringing. I've been hanging all the pictures of the kids and at the house, and I've bought all those clips, those things you get with the sticky backs and the hooks and the things. And I'm literally bringing around with me hanging them everything at the new office and putting the thing. And so I'm going on Hanging campaign, by the way. It was funny where all the pictures of the kids and there's hundreds of fucking pictures of my kids that are all that have been sitting on the. Leaned on the wall sort of where they're gonna go. I finally carved out an afternoon a few weeks ago on a Sunday to get out my cordless drill and go to town hanging these pictures up. And I'm good at this. I'm fast at this, and I've done a lot of it in my day, so I'm just going to knock this stuff out. So I go to the garage, I get my little kit with the drill index and the bits and the tips and the nail and all that stuff, and I'm going to start hanging them. As I'm, like, hanging the pictures, Natalia is driving my wife insane because she's just. She's a nut, you know, and she's grinding her down. And, you know, mom, I want to go to the mall, mama, you know? And anyway. Anyway, as we're going through this, I'm sort of getting to the beautiful baby pictures and the nice frame. And where do you want to put it? You want to put it in the bedroom next to the bed? As Natalia is grinding away on Lynette's last nerve, I'm asking, I'm getting further along into the picture process, and I'm like, where do you want to put this one? She's like, in the fucking garbage. I don't care. Whatever. Put your fucking foot through it. Put it under. Put it between the mattress and the box. How about. That's where we hang it. And I'm like, okay, but we want it, like, in the bedroom or by the vanity or on the. I don't care. I don't. Just fucking. I don't care if you hang it. And it was this weird experience of her getting ground down and pissed off at Natalia while I'm holding up big pictures of Natalia. I suppose it wouldn't work. I suppose it would be the same with Evel Knievel. If you're angry at evil, kneel. Each picture I'm holding up, and I go going, where do you want it in the bedroom or do you want it in your bathroom? She's like, I don't care. I don't care. Set it on fire. I don't care. Draw a fucking mustache on it, give it a pirate's patch, and it's set on fucking fire, because I don't give a shit. And I'm like, okay, but eventually you're gonna want this somewhere I just want to put it where you want it. All right, Joe coy, everybody. Gavin McInnis. Say that right.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

He's gonna be in here. Gavin's. Well, you probably know him from Vice magazine. Co founder back in the day. And then the new series Vice. Interesting. I've caught a few of those. Very interesting stuff. Got a new movie called how to Be a Man, available on Netflix. We'll talk to Gavin right after this. All right, we's back. Gavin McInnes here. How to Be a Man, available on Netflix and itunes. And co founder of Vice magazine, 1994am I get that, right?

[Gavin McInnes]

You are correct, sir.

[Adam Carolla]

So tell us about this how to be a Man stuff. I'm curious.

[Gavin McInnes]

It is a rollicking tale. I actually stole the movie from Michael Keaton. I don't know if you saw that movie where he was dying and he made videos for his unborn son.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Mr. Mom or Batman. Jack Frost. Jack. Yeah. Wait, either one. One of those two.

[Gavin McInnes]

They're all the same.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gavin McInnes]

So we just stole that movie and made it funnier and that's it.

[Adam Carolla]

And so it's sort of a.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

A.

[Adam Carolla]

A father who's not going to be around for his son.

[Gavin McInnes]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

He's.

[Gavin McInnes]

He has male breast cancer.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Gavin McInnes]

He found a lump in his breast. It's called a breast, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gavin McInnes]

He found a lump in his breast and he's dying. So he gets this kid to film him doing lessons on how to get laid, what drugs to do, how to fight, all these basics on how to be a man. And he may or may not get sucked into that world as he's talking about how to do coke. He may do a bump or two and then actually might get in over his head.

[Adam Carolla]

Interesting. And it's available on Netflix and itunes.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

You can stream it right now on Netflix.

[Adam Carolla]

There you go. Vice. Now you're from Vice or co founded Vice, the magazine, but then the TV show. How much do you have to do with that?

[Gavin McInnes]

Zilch. I sold my shares in 2008 split.

[Adam Carolla]

How did Vice start?

[Gavin McInnes]

Well, sorry, it's. It's a thing that annoys me about Canadians because we're Canadian. And they go, you started with a government welfare grant and all you do is shit on, you know, big government. You were started because of big government. But they don't get the way Montreal was or is back then. If you're English, it's like China and it's a socialist country. Quebec is a country in and of itself.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gavin McInnes]

It's not really Kenya. Canada, Montreal, Montreal, Quebec the parole province they call Canada Caca Canada, actually. Not the wittiest in the world. That's their level. They're dumb. Basically, Quebec was founded by soldiers from France and prostitutes. So the general IQ there is pretty low. But anyway, if you can't speak French perfectly, then you're an anglophone. And so there's no jobs at all. I mean, I was a bike messenger in the winter in Montreal with which is brutal. So the only jobs around were these fake make work programs for people on welfare. So my buddy goes, hey, they're starting some stupid multicultural paper that's all funded by government grants. We're going to hijack it. So why don't you say you're on welfare and get into this program and then we'll see what happens. So I crossed my I's at the welfare center and I wrote all the applications that were my left hand right and boom, I was out of there that afternoon. See, the worst thing you can do when trying to get welfare is say I'm a hard working white guy, well educated. I'm going, I'm kind of down on my luck. Yeah, you have to come in and.

[Adam Carolla]

Go, I'm trying to get it together. Boy, there's so many smart guys.

[Gavin McInnes]

And then you know, if you write the application so that such that your name is going down the right hand margin and then they're like, dude, here's a hundred bucks. This is why I took this.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't know from being from North Hollywood, California. I didn't know there were these kinds of differences in these regions, provinces of Canada. I didn't know Montreal was Montreal compared to Vancouver, Winnipeg or something. I didn't know the vast difference politically.

[Gavin McInnes]

They have regular referendums to decide if they should separate. They had one in, I think it was 1992 or so, which was 54% said stay. And that was all the Anglophones in Montreal. But they, they had a terrorist organization called the FLQ who killed a bunch of guys in 1970. The whole country's in a state of emergency. Quebec hates Canada.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So are they. I don't know what we would call the most progressive or left leaning or whatever. Whatever, whatever.

[Gavin McInnes]

They're totally spoiled welfare brats. The whole province. They do modern dance. They get millions of dollars because the FLQ called themselves the niggers of Canada.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Gavin McInnes]

Yes, they coined that phrase. And so Canadians are so polite and they're so easily intimidated that these guys go, give us grants. You've oppressed us. You've been speaking English all day long. Give us tons of money for our modern dance awareness culture troupe.

[Adam Carolla]

Where are they at with folks from the us Because I'll lead you in here. But I've been all over Canada and that place didn't feel friendly toward folks to the United States or at least not me.

[Gavin McInnes]

They're against Anglophones, English people in general. So they don't like Americans, but they don't like Ontarians or Newfoundlandians or Vancouver rights either.

[Allison Rosen]

Do they like French people or just people who speak French in Quebec?

[Adam Carolla]

They.

[Gavin McInnes]

I guess they're a little more partial to France French. But no, they're very parochial. They have their. In fact, their language is so ancient that they call a car un char, meaning not like a. It's not car with a ch. It's a chariot.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Gavin McInnes]

And if you go deep, deep into the mountains of France and you find some hundred year old lady, she'll say, and you'll go, oh, there's a Quebec accent. They've preserved that 400 year old accent. They're cave people.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. I've only kind of. I felt the vibe. I remember once when we came into Montreal, Jimmy and I did, a million years ago, and I remember the customs chick being fucking, she was an ogre. Oh, such a cock. And she was a cunt. And I was like, we're coming in there. We sold the man show and we're coming in there to promote it. And everyone just told me, look, don't tell them you're here on business, just tell them you're here on pleasure. And so they go, what are you here for? And I went over here on pleasure. And then she pulled out my itinerary and it had a bunch of, you know, Good Morning Quebec and everything on it and a whole bunch of appearances. And she said, oh, pleasure, I'm looking at itinerary, like a work itinerary here. And I said, I'm not getting paid. Like I don't get paid for any of these things. And she's like, you don't. You do all these shows and you don't get paid? I'm like, no, I do. A bunch of. You do radio shows and that kind of stuff and you're promoting this, but you don't get compensation for it, so it's not really work. And she pulled me aside and sat me down in a room that was empty with just one guy behind the counter who wouldn't pay attention to me.

[Gavin McInnes]

And she raped you?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, with a Coke bottle.

[Gavin McInnes]

Yeah, that is perfectly normal for them.

[Adam Carolla]

No, she 2 liter, by the way. And started with the business end. Did not work up to it. Started with, no, she just. She just start. And the guy just sat in the counter and just ignored me. And I just sat in the back of this empty room, and he just told me to sit down. And at some point, I just said, like, 20 minutes in or half hour in I go, when is my punishment gonna be over? So I can. Cause my friends are waiting, Jimmy and whoever, like, out on the curb, the airport, just waiting for me to be done. I didn't do anything, but I have to be punished. I must be punished.

[Gavin McInnes]

Canada Customs is obsessed with people working in Canada, and I don't know why. It's not like there's this huge influx of white Americans coming up there, making tons of money and then grabbing it all back. But then that's their only job. And that's actually the most sane thing a Quebecer has ever done. That story is one of the more. I mean, in Quebec, you talk about big government. In Quebec right now, you have to have a sign, say it's Adam Carolla's show. It would have to be like, show Dadam Carolla. And that show. That sign would have to be twice the size of the English sign.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Right.

[Gavin McInnes]

And if you made the mistake of having the English sign bigger and you washed it off, but there is still, like, it was a neon sign. There's still the outline. You still get fined.

[Adam Carolla]

It's weird. I sold my booze Mangria out there, and it's like, oh, English and French, English and French. And I'm like, why? And they're like, that's everything. Just has to. That's everything. I don't know. It's a weird way to go to sort of have this sort of biculturalism in the middle of your city, province, whatever we're calling it. But what I mean is, it seems like they ought to just pick one and fucking go with it. And everyone there speaks English. Right. Or just.

[Gavin McInnes]

How about you just do what you're doing and just shut the fuck up? Like Hasidim in New York, in Williamsburg. Totally insane, weird sect of Judaism with the crazy fur hats. The government doesn't promote them.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gavin McInnes]

They don't have any special citizens. And they've preserved this weird 1940s blip of Judaism and just made it a permanent thing. Like, they just press pause on that outfit.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gavin McInnes]

And they've perfectly preserved it. They've got probably, I don't know, 300,000 of them now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gavin McInnes]

And no one helped them do that. So why don't you just fuck off?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm fucking you. No, I agree. Just government. Just keep the fucking street lights on, fill the potholes, stop the violent crime, and then shut the fuck up.

[Gavin McInnes]

You know, in Canada, the radio stations have to play 60% Canadian content. So my wife is American, and we come up there, and the Parachute Club, I'm sure you're familiar with them, is doing their song, Rise up as Gowan. And she goes, what the fuck are these songs? And I go, they're communist songs that were forced down our throat her whole life.

[Adam Carolla]

Why you're gonna miss him when he's gone. Glass Tiger.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Yeah, it's a tool tune right there.

[Adam Carolla]

Point is this. That is a weird. Somebody sent me a tweet that they wanted, I don't know, 30, 35% of pornography that was viewed in Canada to be made in Canada.

[Gavin McInnes]

Dude. The actors in Toronto go on strike and say, there's not enough movies shot here.

[Adam Carolla]

There's not enough movies.

[Gavin McInnes]

And the government is going, sorry about that. I better get on that.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Yeah. The music is a very good example, which is we're from the United States, and we had the British Invasion, and everyone seemed to love Herman's Hermits and the Beatles and Led Zeppelin and all those bands. The who and all the other bands, the Kinks and all the bands, the Animals that came out of England. We loved it. We embraced it.

[Gavin McInnes]

They were really good.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they're really good. And the reason the Beatles sold more records than. Let's see, I'll pick a good English band.

[Gavin McInnes]

Let's see, Stones, Kinks.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm trying to pick. Well, first off, they sold more than their English contemporaries, but they also sold more than Paul Revere and the Raiders, who were from the United States, because their product was better. So we just sort of voted with our pocketbooks and our ears. Like, we wanted to hear Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, and that's what we got. You guys would have to weave in some Ann Murray and bto, but you had a superior product in the Beatles and Led Zeppelin and the who.

[Gavin McInnes]

I love Canada, and I actually love living in Montreal because it was so weird. It was like being in Louisiana.

[Monica Mehta]

It was.

[Gavin McInnes]

Was Cajuns and stuff. It was a bizarre culture. And I got so fucking laid, I had every STD but crabs and aids.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Gavin McInnes]

So I love that part of the lunacy.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gavin McInnes]

But the problem with this Canadian culture is it's just so consumed with America. Like when I was in high school, when you wrote an essay on Canadian identity, it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'LL tell you what, we're not.

[Gavin McInnes]

A bunch of rednecks wearing a Dixie flag. And it's like if you asked Elvis's brother, so what are you about? And Elvis's brother went, I don't do. I'm not Mr. Pelvis, and I don't wear my blue suede shoes. And you go, yeah, yeah, I get that.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I get that.

[Gavin McInnes]

Well, what about you? What about you?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, do you think. I think it's this thing, and you can experience this on a micro and then a macro level. That thing where you don't, like. Let's just say the big man on campus in high school. And your high school will be called grade 12 if he was a senior here. Just be grade 12.

[Gavin McInnes]

We got to grade 13.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so big man on campus doesn't really know the younger nerdy guy who he's walking past in the hall and doesn't particularly care. He's trying to get laid. He's captain of the football team. Whatever. Now the nerdy guy's going, oh, look at him. You know, he thinks his shit doesn't. He's not even thinking about that other guy. There's an element, I think, with the United States, and I speak for everyone in the United States. We don't care that much about Canada.

[Gavin McInnes]

No, we don't care about any.

[Adam Carolla]

We don't care about any place. We don't care about any place. By the way, the only reason we care about Mexico is because they have some drug lords and some beheadings and some people flopping in here.

[Gavin McInnes]

And your nanny talks about it all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

And my nanny brings it up. Yeah, yeah. But that's the only. We wouldn't care about Mexico either. Like, if Mexico was just doing what Canada's doing, we'd never talk about Mexico. We don't talk about Canada that much. We're not that interested. Canada hates the fact that we don't. We're like the popular senior who doesn't really even know anything about him and doesn't seem to care. So they have to then get on the offense about it. Is that kind of what's going on? That's Earth. I mean, that's Earth.

[Gavin McInnes]

That's the way Scotland talks about England. They're obsessed with England. England doesn't even know where Scotland is.

[Adam Carolla]

Is right.

[Gavin McInnes]

That's the way the Basque separatists talk about the Spanish. That's the way the Chechnyans talk about Russia. Every big country has these underdogs around it going, well, la dee dah. Look what the cat drag did Mr. Bigger Than Me.

[Adam Carolla]

I wonder if every language has a la de da. Because it doesn't. No, I mean, yeah. Cuz it doesn't mean anything here.

[Gavin McInnes]

Why should this be crucial, what you're saying? We see this in pop culture with people our age and their obsession with Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber. And look at her, Dan, when you look at her dancing and these young people, like hipster bashing and all that. These hipsters, these 18 to 25 year olds, have you seen these fucking idiots with their stupid pants? Dude, they're partying, okay? They're out getting laid, they're doing crazy. They don't go, are baby boomers disappointed in the way we dance?

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Gavin McInnes]

And there's this thing and it's kind of a Canadian phenomenon, in a sense it's an underdog phenomenon or a forgotten second best phenomenon where us old guys are going, these look at fucking Justin Bieber. Look at him mugging for the camera, right? Like he's 20 and a billionaire and he's on pot three times stronger than what we smoked. What should he be doing?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gavin McInnes]

Of course, he's a fucking asshole.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I, I, it would be, by the way, confusing and disappointing if he acted another way.

[Gavin McInnes]

Yes, I would be totally. Well, these kids I'm with today, we're doing this press tour and I'm with these Fox Digital kids and you know, they're all 20 and we're at bars and stuff. Do you want a beer? No thanks, I'm driving. And I was like, dude, when I was your age, there was a dead transvestite in a trunk in the car, right? I had so much coke on my fucking face that cops didn't, weren't even mad. They got. Where do you get those powdered donuts? Are there some around here? And these guys are just going, I've had two, I'm good, thanks.

[Adam Carolla]

It's weird in a weird way. Never thought about this, but how to be a man sort of ties in. Young men are simultaneously incredibly more mature and then more adolescent. You know, they're playing video games, but half a beer's past my limit. It's a weeknight.

[Gavin McInnes]

I get in fights about Batman. No, no, no, that was the second one. And the first one, he established a connection with the mayor that didn't come to fruition until the second one.

[Adam Carolla]

I always found that bizarre, the, the fact that adult males would have very spirited arguments about superheroes loudly in front of other people, other members of society, and not look at it as Embarrassing. Or used to be. You know what it was, Alison? You guys gotta step up.

[Monica Mehta]

Up.

[Adam Carolla]

You must start punishing with the pussy. You punish with the pussy. And then what I'm saying is, when you hear guys arguing loudly about Batman, no pussy for them.

[Allison Rosen]

I've never hopped on one of those dicks.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you got to spread it around.

[Gavin McInnes]

Tell your sister and your mother.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, and ring.

[Allison Rosen]

My mom's gonna be hard to crowd.

[Adam Carolla]

Ring that bell from the top of Pussy Mountain and let them know that these guys need to be. Be fucking. They need to be cut off. Because it seems to work. There's more of these guys getting laid. I think the nerd is definitely the new captain of the football team. Yeah.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I feel like Allison might be part of the problem, though. Isn't your new husband really into comic books?

[Allison Rosen]

He wrote a graphic novel, and he did write for them, but he was not. That's not what he grew up reading, actually. Maybe he's part of the problem. Annulment. I'll get annulment. I have a question for you, Gavin.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

I have two questions. I have multiple questions, but only one. Okay, so I used to love reading Vice, but something always struck me about it. Like, I got. It almost felt sociopathic at times. And I'm just wondering what? Like, what your thoughts are about that. It felt like, what your thoughts are about your feelings. Yeah, about. About that. Do you know what I'm talking about? That vibe, like, don't put it on me.

[Adam Carolla]

It's your question.

[Allison Rosen]

Were you. Was everything. Was it. Was the attitude genuine, or were you trying to stir up shit?

[Gavin McInnes]

I get this a lot. Like, oh, you're trying to be edgy or anything. First of all, the Vice you're talking about, I wrote 100% of it. I was all the women. I was all the blacks. I found it so hard to find qualified minorities and women who could write that I just became the them because it was faster. But so maybe the sociopathy that you saw was just this linear narrative that sounded like it was all one guy. But as far as the rest of the stuff being, like, too edgy or seeming affected, like, I want to shock you.

[Adam Carolla]

I think that's a myth.

[Gavin McInnes]

Wanting to shock someone implies you give a shit what they think. I've always just sort of spoken sincerely, and I think maybe I sound edgy because Canadians swear a lot. And also, my parents are Scottish, so they're just like, see you, Paul. Like, if someone had a burn, my dad would go, what the fuck happened?

[Adam Carolla]

What's all that about? Your Whole face is gone. Look at the size of that boy's head.

[Gavin McInnes]

That was fast. That's a huge noggin. That's how Scottish people talk. Mike Myers grew up next to a Glaswegian, so he understands that there's just no thing. And I think that's a lot more politically correct than political correctness, because they put these people on a pedestal and they go, it's actually a person of color now. And it's. You don't say retard. It's extra chromosome. Bring your retard brother over here. Let's all have some fun here. And I feel like what is seen as an affected edginess is really just talking, like, we all talk. And Ann Coulter is always accused of just trying to shock people. All Ann does is talk in public the way we all talk in bar.

[Adam Carolla]

I. It's. It's interesting. I've got one of my big. I had a big argument on Loveline a million years ago where I said, so you're. Anyway, you're a victim of rape. And there was like, rape survivor. And I was like, all right, but either way, whatever. Right, Right. This is weird thing of own. The attempt to own something through the labeling or the changing of the labeling of something. I don't feel it's therapeutic. Like, if you were raped, you need to work on that. That's gonna require therapy, and I feel badly for you, and it's something you should definitely work on in a relationship and with a therapist and so on and so forth. Switching the name from victim to survivor is not really gonna boomer thing.

[Gavin McInnes]

You know, the boomers, they had a thing like, oh, I got a new business card. Now I'm chief of managerial operations. And they invented political credits where their whole words matter and all that shit. But if you got raped, I think one of the best ways to get through it is humor. You know, I'm not going down that street.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, not during that time.

[Gavin McInnes]

I can't handle it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Gavin McInnes]

No, not during it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But, yeah, this notion of it's a correct everybody, and there's a certain anger that's involved with it. But, like, some of it is almost. It's just confusing. Like, I. When I did Loveline, I said, are you. To a person who called in, they were talking about, I don't know, they couldn't drive or they couldn't do this or something. I said, are you blind? And they said, seeing impaired. And I said, so you can. But how much can you. You're blind. No, it's not blind. You don't say blind anymore. And I'm like, impaired means.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, that means two different things.

[Adam Carolla]

You can see a bit. Yeah, you might see shadows or outlines or something. Like I could see you being able to walk around. Being blind is being blind. It's like we don't say blind anymore. And I'm like, I need someone to say blind. So I know the difference between you seeing light and shadows or you seeing Duvetyne. Was that one of the black names you went under when you were doing the writing? That would be an awesome black name, wouldn't it? Duvetyne.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I'd draft that guy.

[Adam Carolla]

I would. Oh, oh. And then later on there'd be a Deshaun Jackson. Yeah. 437 on the 40s.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I mean that's hand timed, but still. That's pretty good.

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking good. Vertical of 39 and a half inches.

[Gavin McInnes]

No, but there is this understanding that if I wrap these people in bubble wrap, I'm doing them a favor, but all you're doing is putting them into storage and we all go, oh, you can't say that. You know what? I don't want to deal with that.

[Allison Rosen]

Them.

[Gavin McInnes]

Just get them the fuck out of here. I don't want to talk to black people because I don't know if they're people of color or whatever. So I'm just not going to go near them.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, too risky. It's, it's a, it's on a, on a non racial level. They're the people and we all have them in our families and we know them and sometimes they're neighbors and friends, but they're the people that have the. Don't tell him or her that she's going to pitch a fit. He's going to pitch a fit. He's gonna have a meltdown if he finds out about. She's gonna have a meltdown. And what you start doing in your mind is you don't actually it works sort of temporarily. Like you go like, don't ask him for the ride to the airport. He's gonna fucking freak and I'll get the other guy. But eventually you just stop talking to them. Yes. Like you just go, I don't want to deal with whatever this is.

[Gavin McInnes]

It's a form of genocide. I was talking to someone the other day and I said, retard, as I want to do. And they go, that's really offensive. And I go, are you pro choice? And they go, yeah. And I go, okay, you can't be sanctimonious about a people that you have successfully eradicated.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gavin McInnes]

It's like Hitler saying, you don't say Jewish. That sounds like Jew. Like you say, I'm a Jew. Like when I was a kid, everyone, there's a retard here, a retard there. You have to sleep over. There'd be one kid that was retarded. Then, you know, abortion became popular. Everyone aborted anyone who was remotely downs. And now these same people that are really anti retard killed a bunch of retards and they're not around anymore. So you're telling me not to say retard and you ended them.

[Adam Carolla]

You got to get that on a license plate frame. I know it's. It's wordy. It's long after. But those digital frames that like reads out. Oh, the digital ones, yeah. All right. Allison Rosen. Shall we do a little news? Gavin, Hang out and crack wise and let's make and be with the news. The news with Allison Rosen.

[Gavin McInnes]

She'll read some news from her iPad.

[Adam Carolla]

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison, Allison. And when it's time to wrap it.

[Gavin McInnes]

Up, she'll sign it off with zip.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Allison. Allison.

[Allison Rosen]

So the search continues for the Malaysia Airlines jet that has been missing since it took off March 8th. Took off from Kuala Lumpur in the Wee hours of March 8, headed to Beijing. And then on Saturday, the Malaysian government announced findings that suggested the plane was deliberately diverted and may have flown as far north as Central Asia or south into the vast reaches of the Indian Ocean. So it's missing. Have you guys been following the story?

[Adam Carolla]

I. Yes. Except for there's not that much to follow. People going, what the fuck? How come we can't find a 777.

[Allison Rosen]

Right. 239 passengers were aboard. They think that it was tampered with because someone disabled one of the communication Systems. The A Cars, Aircraft and Communications Addressing and Reporting System about 40 minutes after takeoff. And then.

[Gavin McInnes]

I never heard that.

[Monica Mehta]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And then about 14 minutes later, the transponder that identifies the plane to commercial radar systems was also shut down.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I. Can I say this? Because I keep thinking about this. The idea that, you know, on the cockpit, there's a big switch that says transponder off, and you can just toggle it down. It seems to fly in the face of a transponder in any situation. It might happen where somebody took over the plane and didn't want to be identified.

[Allison Rosen]

Shouldn't even have a mute button.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Shouldn't. The transponder.

[Gavin McInnes]

It should involve removing A plate and ripping wires.

[Adam Carolla]

That should even take some gusts. Yeah. And the guy has to decide where he wants the blue or the red one. No, the transponder.

[Allison Rosen]

Is that your final answer?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It should just be hardwired into the tail rudder. Yeah. And just in the back of the plane, like sewn up in aluminum. And that's where it is.

[Gavin McInnes]

Under what circumstances do you need privacy when you're flying 250 people across the country?

[Adam Carolla]

Why do we have the option to shut the transponder? It's just be. It'd be like an airbag in your car, like in the steering wheel of your car. Like there shouldn't be a switch on the dash where you go. I don't. I don't feel like I need that. You know what? I'm only going to liquor store. It's right up the street. I don't feel like I need this thing. It's just wired into the bumper and that's that.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Agreed.

[Gavin McInnes]

How about this FBI theory that. That it has landed and is being stored for a future operation? I don't think extremist terrorists have the IQ to pull up. I think 911 was a fluke. Pure luck. Just like Pearl Harbor. That was very lucky. And there's no way these morons have their shit together enough to go. All right, you ready? I think we've camped out enough. Let's go blow up the Pentagons.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm reading from Gary, by the way, that commercial pilots interviewed said that they could wouldn't or wouldn't know how just to shut off a transponder. So how was the transponder shut off?

[Allison Rosen]

They just say it was shut down. And then they say the fact that both systems went dark separately offered strong evidence that the plane's disappearance was deliberate. And they don't know if the two pilots involved in the disappearance were working together or alone or with passengers or crew. Like they don't know anything. I think the prevailing theory is that it's somewhere at the bottom of the Indian Ocean.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Isn't there almost always a sort of debris field when something hits and I know there's washed up by now, there's a lot of room to hundreds of miles, thousands of miles of ocean to cover. But I mean, aren't there? I just feel like with satellite imagery and stuff, there's always stuff with suitcases and shit.

[Gavin McInnes]

It took two years to find the debris.

[Adam Carolla]

Hmm.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Well, they found something quicker than two years though, right? Like something washed up.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I'm just saying that like every seat cushion's a push.

[Adam Carolla]

What do I look like, a guy.

[Gavin McInnes]

Who knows what he's talking about?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Good point.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Freak out, man.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's really. That's unnerving. Something that big can disappear.

[Gavin McInnes]

The turning, the trans, like the Mr. Allah buying those two tickets for those Iranians, that was fucking weird. But the fact that something was disconnected that no one can get to, that's the weirdest part of this story.

[Adam Carolla]

And the fact that there's. I feel like a satellite overhead every second of every minute of every day. And yet. Yet the satellite couldn't find anything or triangulate anything or just see huge metallic objects that were moving around. Seems weird to me.

[Allison Rosen]

So even though the A car system was disabled, it continued to emit faint hourly pulses that were recorded by satellite. And the last ping was sent out at 8:11am 7 hours and 31 minutes after the plane took off. And that placed the jet somewhere in a huge arc as far north as Kazakhstan in Central Asia or far into to the southern Indian Ocean.

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus Christ.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

The boring theory that I have is that the most obvious boring theory is that if the things were. If it was electrical or some problem, that it would make sense the instruments were dying one by one. If it was some kind of problem like that, maybe that makes sense why the things went off in different. As opposed to a crash or.

[Allison Rosen]

That's what they want you to think. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta tell you this.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

It's more fun, believe it.

[Adam Carolla]

Either way, James Cameron's gotta fire up the mini sub. Get that mini sub out of James Cameron somehow. You just mark my words, at some point James Cameron's name is going to pop up. Yeah, he's doing something. Don't think he's sitting around right now just watching SportsCenter. He's doing that storyboarding, doing the thing that evil people would do in the 70s where he's taking his hands and wiping them together. Oh, he's got an idea.

[Gavin McInnes]

He's got a Minority Report type of iPad at home where he's scrolling through different options.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

He is Canadian too.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way.

[Gavin McInnes]

With all this, all this analysis we do, we assume Malaysia and the turd world has their shit together. Oh, they got a ping at 435 and then not. They're all morons who are drowning in bureaucracy. Their fucking data is shit too. Maybe there was sending out signals going, help, I'm being attacked. And they're going, I don't know what that is, let's just delete it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, maybe Cameron, like I said, he's gonna get to fucking bottom of this and expect something in IMAX in the next 14 to 19 months.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Coming next summer, who's on top of.

[Allison Rosen]

Your moronic culture's leaderboard?

[Gavin McInnes]

Stupidest culture in the world. Sure, I'd have to go with Islam, extremist Islam. I'd start with Pakistan at the top. Because of inbreeding, they marry their first cousins. They're probably the daughter dumbest. And then it just gets into preferential. You know, my own personal tastes. I don't like Russia. I don't like that they make jokes about death and they laugh when they see, like, a dog with three legs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they seem like some of the hardest people on the planet.

[Gavin McInnes]

I. I bought a bootleg DVD of Splice. Remember that? With Jeff Goldblum. And then the scene when he fucks his.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, Adrien Brody, he fucks his.

[Gavin McInnes]

Is that a joke?

[Adam Carolla]

That's a fly. Yeah. Splice.

[Gavin McInnes]

Splice is.

[Adam Carolla]

That's bro. Oh, you're right.

[Gavin McInnes]

I'm sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

He's kind of the poor man.

[Gavin McInnes]

So dumb that when people say facts, they go, what, are you kidding me?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Now, Splice created, like, a child, but it was like a mutant alien child or something.

[Gavin McInnes]

Now I'm going back. Are you sure it wasn't Jeff Goldblum?

[Adam Carolla]

It's. It's. It's Brody.

[Gavin McInnes]

Is it Brody?

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Anyway, so it's.

[Gavin McInnes]

He makes. He genetically makes a weird alien child. And it's got, like, a scorpion tail.

[Adam Carolla]

All this shit, right?

[Gavin McInnes]

And I'm looking at the illegal dvd. There it is. And he fucks that thing, and it's his weird daughter. Monster alien.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

They make love.

[Gavin McInnes]

It's even worse than fucking your daughter. And I didn't know I was watching a bootleg DVD from Russia until that scene happens. And I'm going, I'm about to puke. And then I just heard. And I hear Russians laughing.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Oh, some dude in the theater, like, recording.

[Gavin McInnes]

I'm like, oh, this is in Moscow at the darkest place on Earth. The center of hell. That's funny to them. You know when you rape your alien daughter?

[Adam Carolla]

No, thanks.

[Gavin McInnes]

Just sink them into the seat like the uk. Do we care about Ukraine?

[Allison Rosen]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

No. I don't know what to.

[Gavin McInnes]

I get a hernia trying to care.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know who to care about anymore. I'm just sticking with my twins. That's all.

[Gavin McInnes]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, what else?

[Allison Rosen]

David Brenner died. Comedian David Brenner, he was 78, died after a battle with cancer. He had been on the Tonight show more than 150 times.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't you feel. And I don't know if I'm always. I feel this way, but it's super narcissistic, like. Like David Brenner was sick. Yeah, he had pancreatic cancer. How come I wasn't notified? Why am I the last one to notify? Why would I be notified by the Brenner state? Like, I get a phone call, hey, listen, Dave's. Oh, I know you've never met, but hear me out. He's in pretty rough shape.

[Allison Rosen]

We just thought you.

[Gavin McInnes]

As if you were notified and you'd have someone go, okay, why the fuck are you telling me? I gotta get back to.

[Adam Carolla]

He's in a pretty bad space right now. He called you Andy. Anyway, you should know that he probably has four to six weeks to live. And don't be surprised if you hear something in the news. I'm always like, what? How come? How's these guys just sneaking off and dying on us?

[Gavin McInnes]

We heard about other guys, like Swayze.

[Adam Carolla]

We heard Swayze was good.

[Gavin McInnes]

Christopher Reeves. We got a daily update.

[Adam Carolla]

The guy Michael Landon set the. You know, he's the guy who did it, right? He went on Little House on the Prairie. He went on Carson with, like, a full head of hair and said, like, I got cancer and I'm gonna beat this bad boy. He was dead, like, seven weeks later. But he went on. He did it. He did a Tonight show appearance to talk about being sick and how he's gonna beat it and then. But. But let everyone go. And when everyone went, oh, all right.

[Gavin McInnes]

Well, same with Michael J. Fox. He had his shows, he did his thing, and then he went peacefully, you know, he quietly died.

[Adam Carolla]

No, he's still alive. Oh, I did not know that.

[Gavin McInnes]

I'm sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Did not know that.

[Allison Rosen]

But Michael J. Fox is Canadian.

[Monica Mehta]

That's what I'm saying.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Gavin would know. Oh, yeah, I think we're all wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

I never finished that. I mean, the part of the story I never finished over at the customs in Montreal was when I was arguing with the cunt who was arguing with me about business or pleasure. I said at the time, I remember I was looking. Looking for some common ground. And I said, look, when Michael J. Fox goes and does. I was gonna leave this part off, but now that we're on the Tonight Show, Michael, I said, when Michael J. Fox does the Tonight show, he doesn't get paid to do the Tonight Show. He's doing the Tonight show for publicity. And she said, who's Michael J. Fox? And I said, you don't know who Michael J. Fox is. She's like, no, but let's get back to you and your itinerary. And I'm like, no, hold on. You're Canadian. You don't know who? He's like, one of your most famous Canadians. She's like, I don't know. I don't care. Moving on.

[Gavin McInnes]

That's another country to her. She doesn't give a shit, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

So what part is now where's Michael J. From?

[Gavin McInnes]

He's probably from Toronto. Okay, that's our Chicago.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I like that.

[Gavin McInnes]

In fact, it's indistinguishable from Toronto. I don't even know why.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there a Chicago American border? There shouldn't be. There doesn't make sense. DraftKings, baby. Oh yeah. College hoops fans. They're going to go huge with DraftKings.com tournament is here. It is upon us. Huge cash prizes all month during March. Millions guy named James Tron won a million bucks in one day. One day. Fantasy sports. No season long commitments or getting stuck with players you don't like. Just instant cash. And by the way, not just college ball. They got the pro ball and basketball and golf and baseball all coming around the corner. All with DraftKings Dawson right now you can play for free to win real [e-mail] up to 200 million bucks. Pick any sport. But hurry. Free spots are going quick. Enter AdamADdraftKings.com before this Friday for your free entry. That's AdamADraftKings.com DraftKings.com all right, where were we? What else we got?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps senior.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on, I forgot about that. Maybe not a fitting David Brenner tribute, but about 10 years ago he wrote a book and it was like, I think it was called something like how come you never order tuna fish sandwiches or something. But it was one of the things that was supposed to be an observation, but you just kind of went, I've ordered plenty of tuna fish. I don't know. It was like one of those.

[Allison Rosen]

A book title that begs shitting on his.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes. Well, there was a book that came out. Nobody ever sees you eat tuna fish. That was the name of the book. I feel like there's literally millions of people have witnessed me tuna over the years.

[Gavin McInnes]

Well, there was a book, there was this book with a social media dude and it was called jab, jab, jab right hook. And it was his way of saying I'm not just a social media nerd. I know how to kick ass, too. And you go, there's no such thing as a fucking right hook, you nerd.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. It's a left hook.

[Gavin McInnes]

You mean left hook.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, especially if you're kind of setting it up with the jab, because that means you're at a distance. It'd be a straight right cross. Not the right. The right hook. Yeah.

[Gavin McInnes]

Way to leave yourself open, nerd.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how that works. Like, where you go, I got the title. Nobody ever sees you eat tuna fish. Does. Who does? Your publisher or your wife goes, whoa, that's so true, because I eat tuna all the time, but yet it's always in a closet. All right, he'll be for your eulogies.

[Gavin McInnes]

Maybe he meant cunnilingus.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. Anyway, he made it to what, how old?

[Allison Rosen]

78.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. And he's one of these guys who looked like he was 51 when he was 74. Right? Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

So the title. Jab. Jab, Jab, Right Hook, makes me want to kill someone. I don't know why I'm having this reaction, but I hate that title. And I sort of don't like that guy.

[Gavin McInnes]

He's real sort of alpha male.

[Allison Rosen]

Like, send me a retweet.

[Gavin McInnes]

I'll send you a case of Pepsi. I'm fucking crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Why? Why is there no such thing as a right hook?

[Gavin McInnes]

Because you leave yourself open.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, no, there is. You could throw.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

If you lead with the.

[Adam Carolla]

You could throw.

[Gavin McInnes]

If you're a right paw, you could have a right hook, but that's really just a left hook.

[Adam Carolla]

You could throw a right hook, but it wouldn't be off of your jab.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

You throw a straight cross.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Off. Or cross off your.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Off your ass for Allison, because she was too shy to ask.

[Allison Rosen]

Thank you so much.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I know.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. That he's all about passion. Passion being the most important thing in the whole world. And your work has to have passion, which is great for people that have it, but a lot of people just have to have jobs just to have a job.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, I think it's dangerous to make everyone feel like you're light years to hollow tube of flesh unless you're infused with passion.

[Gavin McInnes]

You know who's like that? That dude, Casey Neustadt, who works for Nike and does the just do it thing. And he's like, stop sitting in your ass.

[Adam Carolla]

Go to.

[Gavin McInnes]

Go to Dubai and go jet skiing.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gavin McInnes]

I'd love to.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gavin McInnes]

I work at the fucking nuclear power plant.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gavin McInnes]

How do I. Can I come? Will you buy Me a ticket?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

It's irresponsible.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gavin McInnes]

It's just so bourgeois.

[Adam Carolla]

And also, I don't think they're doing nearly as much, you know, ziplining over the canopy in the rainforest as they're preaching. They just get the right apparel, the right car, the right racks on the car that's sort of douchebags. And with the Range Rovers that don't really need it and the racks and all the fucking outfits and they're always wearing. Here's a guy I've realized I don't like. I don't know why the guy, he won't commit to a cowboy boot, but he won't commit to a sneaker either. It's that all terrain, like he's SEAL Team 6, kind of. It's a high tide top boot, but it's, it's lightweight desert boot. Yeah. But it's got a lot of arch support, but you don't really need it for whatever the fuck he's doing. He's strolling through the Gelson's of the Whole Foods in Santa Monica.

[Allison Rosen]

He's. Coffee.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And you're looking down, you're like, why do you need that much shoe? That's a ton of shoe.

[Allison Rosen]

And your shoe looks brand new, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And that, that is insurgents dropped in from a high altitude at night and not pulling the ripcord until you're 3,000ft. Feet shoe. Not walking through the Coffee Bean or the Pete's Coffee in the fucking Shoe. Why do you need that much shoe?

[Allison Rosen]

Your carabiner, carabiner on your keychain is not fooling anyone.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yeah. I had this conversation with the guy who's wearing like the surf slippers. You know, the guys now people are just wearing full blown slippers to work. And I said, what's up? What's up with the slippers? You know, and he just went, they're super, super comfortable. Like, they're super comfortable. And couple things like, you know, me and my underpants. Shirtless is pretty comfortable too.

[Gavin McInnes]

But that's my beef.

[Adam Carolla]

But I'm at work and then number two, I'm wearing Nikes. What am I just fucking wincing like, oh, fuck these fucking Nikes.

[Gavin McInnes]

I wore a three piece suit on the plane here this morning. And the stewardess sits next to me or crouches down, she goes, you know, I noticed you're married and you're also wearing a suit. That's one of the things that discouraged me from getting married is that I don't think people dress up after which Is a weird thing to say, but we went off at a tangent about.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of information there.

[Gavin McInnes]

People who go on planes like they're dressed for a sleepover, right? And I go, what is the matter with denim? It's a cotton twill.

[Adam Carolla]

Who.

[Gavin McInnes]

Like, I've slept in my jeans a million times. You don't wake up going, oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. I have the same. It's my nudist theory where it's like, oh, these shorts are so confining. The guy set records for high jumps and hurdles and 100 meter dashes in things. It's not like if he was nude, he'd be going 20 miles an hour faster. Although I'd like to see in Hussein Boat, like, when they do the slow motion and the Kenyan guys out there, just. Fucking Jamaican guy, just tip of the speared. That'd be an interesting. That'd be fun. Visually compelling. Gay or straight, that would be some compelling shit. But the point is this. Whatever. Like, oh, yeah, well, I had to wear slippers to work because they're so comfortable. Running shoes are pretty fucking comfortable. Just even penny loafers. No one ever complained 30 years ago about wearing loafers, did they? That was considered a casual shoe. It was like, oh, my dogs are killing me. No.

[Gavin McInnes]

You know, this obsession with being comfortable and feeling okay is why we need. Why there's such an abortion issue. Because these men are so used to always doing what they want that they feel like they're gonna come and they just go, oh, here we go. Like, why didn't you pull it out, you fucking moron?

[Adam Carolla]

Do you shit your pants, too? It's a good point.

[Gavin McInnes]

That felt great.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, they're not wearing pants. Whatever. Let's not forget about this. All right, let's do one more, baby girl.

[Allison Rosen]

So Fred Phelps, as I was saying, Westboro Baptist Church founder, is in a care facility. He's 84. He is having health problems. Not a lot of details have come out, but he had a good run. Won't be missed.

[Adam Carolla]

Last thing they told Brenner. Phelps still around? Yeah. You guys. Oh, no, you won't see each other now. Why do these guys get these fucking runs? I mean, 84 years of age. You know what I mean? Bad weeds die hard. Yeah. So who's gonna. Well, we talked. We used to talk to Shirley, and he's got the old kids that are. I mean, who's gonna carry the mantle on, you know, It's a big.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

It's a big banner to pick up off the ground, Big flag and Run with it, you know?

[Gavin McInnes]

Hard to stay that mad at earth.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, we should go pick at his hospital, right?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gavin McInnes]

Isn't this God's plan?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, his funeral, he's definitely cruising for a funeral. Bruising. Right. I mean, the gays have been waiting, counting their just everyone's going. This can be very well attended.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, well, that's probably why the Westboro Baptist Church spokesman wouldn't identify the facility. All we know is that it's a facility in Shawnee County.

[Adam Carolla]

Someone go there, he is going to need to be pulled out of there. Like when he passes in that hospital, they're gonna have to go, Little Miss Sunshine. Like, they're gonna have to back up a VW van, throw him in a sack and give him a Viking funeral that night. Right. There's no way you could have a, you know, come one, come all, we're having an event.

[Allison Rosen]

Phelps Memorial.

[Adam Carolla]

Phelps Memorial.

[Gavin McInnes]

I mean, who doesn't want to. I don't care about either side, but I want to go and fuck with that funeral.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, right.

[Gavin McInnes]

Who doesn't?

[Adam Carolla]

Everybody wants to go. They just, they can't have it. There's no way they're doing that.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Right. It's the making of a light hearted movie with like where he has a gay nurse and they find some understanding.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gavin McInnes]

And then she stops the protest.

[Adam Carolla]

Leave him alone. I, I, yeah, yeah. Whoopi Goldberg as Duvetyne Duvetine Jones. Yeah. Heart of gold. Can't have a. Can't have anything traditional. Right. But according to do they even believe in funerals? They seem to attend a lot of them. I feel like that's the very traditional way of doing things. Right.

[Gavin McInnes]

You know, I bet it's like those end of the world guys where the time comes November 12, 2012 and you go, all right, so you're done now. And they go, no, now we believe even more.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Right.

[Allison Rosen]

Because this thing we believe in didn't happen.

[Adam Carolla]

There's another wacky comedy where the slacker stoners who work for the Neptune society, like the 19 year old guy who drives a station wagon realizes he's got Phelps in there. Supposed to bring him to the crematorium and then scatter the ashes over the sea at dawn, but says, fuck it, I got gold in the back of this station wagon and I'm going right down to Fire Island.

[Allison Rosen]

And then is it like Weekend at Bernie's?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, you stole my joke. First thing they do is they set up a dunk tank and everyone's like, God, he's been underwater for like 20 minutes. Don't worry. He was a diver in high school. Jesus. He had his weekend at Bernie's on Fire island with Phelps.

[Gavin McInnes]

These born again Christians drag him around because he was so good. And they hold those same signs as he's just flopping around from funeral to funeral. Fuck these people.

[Allison Rosen]

He seems so relaxed. He's so different than he used to be. So chill.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. He'll be miss, right? All right, bring it home.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zip it, cunt.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, here we go. That was the news with Allison Rosen. Ah, Squarespace, man. Building a website. It's a nightmare. Not with Squarespace. I got all you need all in one platform. Makes it fast. Easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio. They're constantly improving the platform, baby. New features, new designs, even better support. And every design automatically includes a unique mobile experience that matches the overall style of your website. So your content will look great on every device, every time. Eight bucks a month, including a free domain name if you sign up for a year. And you can start a free trial. Start it now. No credit card required. Start building your website today. Use the offer code Corolla for 10% off your first purchase and show your support for the show. Squarespace. Squarespace. Everything you need to create an exceptional website. All right, Nikki Glaser on Allison Rosing new best friend itunes and also AllisonRosen.com, mondays and Thursdays. Also, you can pre order my book and Brian's book as well. Let's go to Amazon, do that thing where you bookmark us and click on through and hit my book. Present me and then you'll see shrinkage on there as well. And give us a little love. How about that? Oh, right. Well, Jokoi. Yeah. JoeCoy.com go to JoeCoi j o k o y.com and find out where he's performing around the country. Treasure Island. Coming up soon, Gavin how to be a man. Available on Netflix and itunes and website streetcarnage.com streetcarnage.com Twitter, Gavin McGinnis. This. I get that, right?

[Gavin McInnes]

You did indeed.

[Adam Carolla]

So until next time, it's Adam for Gavin and Allison and bald saying mahalo.

[Gavin McInnes]

I'm trying to get it together.

[Adam Carolla]

Boy, there's so many smart guys.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

All right, that's adam Cole Show 1282.

[Adam Carolla]

That does it for today's cool classics.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Make sure to tune tomorrow for an all new installment.

[Adam Carolla]

Until then, mahalo.

[Allison Rosen]

And get it off.

[Adam Carolla]

This November action is free.