
Comedian Jiaoying Summers returns to “spill the tea” about her new man. They also discuss a Georgia mom who was arrested for letting her son walk to town by himself, a new sink-urinal combo and Adam ordering one for...
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Adam Carolla
With the five dollar meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a.
Zhao Ying Summers
McChicken, then get a small fry, a.
Adam Carolla
Small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary. For a limited time only.
Chris Myers
I never know what the day will.
Adam Carolla
Bring so I use Microsoft 365 to stay on schedule, get organized and collaborate on plans with family and friends. It helps me tackle to dos, track projects and focus on what's important. Click or top the banner to learn more about Microsoft 365. Well, comedian Zhao Ying Summers is back in studio, always bringing the heat. Legendary sports commentator Chris Myers is on the show as well. Mayhem's doing the news and we'll do all that right after this.
Chris Myers
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Adam Carolla
Hey fans of freedom and open discussion. I'm heading over to Substack and there's an ad free audio and video version of the Adam Corolla show that's going to be waiting there in the near future. You'll even be able to watch ACS live unedited as we record it. Participate in the show via live chat. That'll be coming up very soon. You also get an ad free version of the Adam Kohl and Dr. Drew show. You also get an exclusive to my new podcast, Beat it out where I share unpolished ideas with my comedian buddies. The first series of episodes is going to be Jay Moore. You'll get all this and more for the low, low price of nine bucks a month. A pittance for all we're going to bring you. Subscribe now@adamcarolla.com substack and I'll see all of you in our new speakeasy called Substack from Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Corolla Show. Adam's guest today, comedian Zhao Ying Summers and sportscaster Chris Myers. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller.
Zhao Ying Summers
And now.
Adam Carolla
Snubbed again for a Country Music Award, Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on. Got get on a choice. Yeah. J. Summers back in studio. Always love to speak to her. And Mayhem's here as well. Lots of show planned for you. How you guys doing?
Chris Myers
I'm so happy to be here.
Adam Carolla
I'm happy to have you here.
Chris Myers
I have tea to tell you.
Adam Carolla
You have tea?
Chris Myers
I have tea to spit.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Spill it.
Chris Myers
Spill it.
Adam Carolla
Tea to spill means gossip.
Chris Myers
Yeah. No, it just. I. I got myself a man. Ish.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you do?
Chris Myers
Ish. He. He doesn't know that. What I think now, but, yeah, I kind of got myself a man. He's. I'm seeing him.
Adam Carolla
What?
Jason Mayhem Miller
He hasn't stamped it out yet.
Adam Carolla
Tell me about this guy.
Chris Myers
Yeah, well, it wasn't supposed to work out because I met him in Austin. He was working on my show. He had a crush on me on March. I didn't see him because I just didn't care. He's cute, but I didn't. I had my dog with me. June. He was working on it again, and he was wearing my merch hat.
Adam Carolla
In Austin.
Chris Myers
In Austin. And then one of the waiter came by. She's like, oh, my God, he's so hot. I want to fuck him. I'm like. And then the bartender came by. She goes, oh, my God, I want to fuck him. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to fuck him. They're like, are you sure? I said, I'm Chinese. My pussy is for the people. You know? Maybe I should just give some sympathy.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Chris Myers
I mean, he's hot and I'm lonely. Then. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You know, but with women.
Chris Myers
Yeah, I.
Adam Carolla
So let's see if we can unpack this a little, because I'm interested. Women can be swayed heavily by other women.
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Whereas guys are a little more set in their ways. And I'll give you. I'll give you an example. To me, Pete Holmes is just a dorky guy who's the least funny cast member of Saturday Night Live, but at some point, when he starts fucking Kim Kardashian, then all the women get in line. Because once you fuck a couple of hotties, then you're in. Lyle Lovett is one of the physically most unattractive country singers of all time, but he was fucking Julia Roberts when she was, like, 26. And so then everyone went, well, I gotta fuck him too. Now. That doesn't work the other way. You see what I'm saying?
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
If Leonardo DiCaprio was fucking Lizzo and then moved on from Lizzo, me and Mayhem still wouldn't want to fuck Lizzo. What do you mean?
Jason Mayhem Miller
I already did.
Adam Carolla
Oh, but again, right? So women don't work that way. So if I'm sitting around and there's an unattractive female comedian, not you. And mayhem comes up to me and goes, man, that female comedian's hot. I wish I could get in her pants. I'd go, good luck, brother. And I would just leave. It wouldn't sway me to be more attracted to the unattractive person. But women, if they got a couple of women around them explaining they would like to get in with this person, then it would sway them.
Chris Myers
I really agree with you. I know there's a story in Chinese culture. A very rich Chinese man, he want to find a wife for his son to marry. He's very rich. Make sure the woman's smart enough. So there's a lot of women auditioning. Basically, he's like, he has a task. There's three women should fill up a room. The first one filled up with cotton, you know? Second one, wait, wait.
Adam Carolla
Fill it up.
Chris Myers
Fill up a room.
Adam Carolla
Fill up a room.
Chris Myers
She bought all the cotton.
Adam Carolla
Cotton, cotton.
Chris Myers
And second one bought a candle. She filled up the room with light. The third one, she bought books. So guess which one the son married.
Adam Carolla
I don't know.
Chris Myers
The one with the biggest tits. Hey, you guys are visual.
Adam Carolla
That's a good. That's. That's true.
Chris Myers
That's what you said.
Adam Carolla
That's how we roll.
Chris Myers
You guys know what you want.
Adam Carolla
But you. Because a couple of waitresses came by and said, I'd like to fuck this guy.
Chris Myers
Yeah, I would just ask. I got swayed. I'm like, no, I should have fuck him. Yeah, it should be me.
Adam Carolla
So what happened?
Chris Myers
So I said, there's a stalker here. I want you to protect me. I'm so afraid of the stalker because my energy is too strong on stage. Men are scared of me. So I'm like. I'm so scared. I'm, like, shaking right now. I have to shake. I'm. And then he's like, I. Of course I can help you. And then he drove me back to Four Seasons. And I said, do you want a drink? He goes, yeah. And then he's like, I would love to get to know you. I said, shh. He's like. He's like, this is the first date, right? I'm like, you know, I said, let's go upstairs. And then we. Upstairs, he was sitting on the couch. I really feel like. I feel the struggle of diddy, you know? Like, they just stay away from you. Like, I'm like, I'm naked in bed. Like, I'm gonna come here. He's like, do you do. On the.
Adam Carolla
Wait, wait. You got naked in Bed?
Chris Myers
Yeah. I'm. Yeah, I'm drunk. So he's sitting on the couch being respectful.
Adam Carolla
How are you with alcohol? Certain Asians have an enzyme.
Chris Myers
I have nothing. I'm shameless. I started drinking when I was 4, grabbing a restaurant, and my father would put chopstick in alcohol and asked me to taste which one tastes better. Just like, taste it. So it's just always there. At age 4, I didn't have a problem with it, but it's always around. I have a sip. I'm six or seven.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Chris Myers
And so I just. And he's like, he's just a gentleman. He's like, let's just talk. I said, he's like, we can't have sex. I'm like, why? He goes, there's no condom. I said, come here.
Adam Carolla
This is. This is code for I beat off at three in the afternoon.
Chris Myers
I think he did.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. A lot of guys will rub one out. Then all of a sudden they become gentlemen later on because something popped up they didn't know.
Chris Myers
Yeah. I can't believe it. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm naked. He's like, there's no condom. As I come here, he walked by. I said, look at my phone. He goes, was that as the uber eats condom 1:00am really? Icon from CVS, really?
Adam Carolla
He didn't. And did just. The condom didn't throw in like a large burrito or anything like that.
Chris Myers
We got Gatorade.
Adam Carolla
Gatorade.
Chris Myers
Because he's going to be dehydrated because I haven't had sex in six months. So we had sex, and then when he was leaving, I said, tell me you love me already. He said, I love you. I said, I don't fucking believe you. So that was it. I had to go to Raleigh. You can leave now. And he texted me, I'll see you again. I like the message. And that's. And that's Jin.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You left them back.
Chris Myers
I heard the message, and that was Jin. But in September. September, he texted me, I would like to take you out on a real date. You are coming to tour here. I mean, I go, what did I do? Right? Oh, yeah, the Uber Eats Condom. He's like, that's my baby mama. But we're just seeing each other now for like a month, and he's still around, which I'm. He's not a boyfriend yet, but.
Adam Carolla
What's his profession?
Chris Myers
He was in tech and now he, like, retired. He's doing film and filming and producing. He's interested in storytelling.
Adam Carolla
How is he?
Chris Myers
He's he's just like a really, really calm. And it doesn't just, like, chill. Not like me. He's a sweet guy.
Adam Carolla
Is he funny?
Chris Myers
I'm funny.
Adam Carolla
Well, you're funny. Yeah. He's not funny.
Chris Myers
He's not. Not his thing.
Adam Carolla
Does he try to be funny?
Chris Myers
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Chris Myers
And he's not.
Adam Carolla
Being funny is fine. My stepdad's not funny. He just doesn't try to be funny. So it's cool.
Chris Myers
I learned method acting so I can just think, oh, my God, that's so funny. That's the only time he got hard. I want to fake laugh at his jokes.
Adam Carolla
Oh, that's what gets him hard.
Chris Myers
Also, he won't eat my. He hasn't eaten my for a month.
Jason Mayhem Miller
What?
Adam Carolla
For how many months?
Chris Myers
First, we've been dating for a month. He won't eat my.
Adam Carolla
Well, how many times have you been intimate with him?
Chris Myers
I offer pussy. He should. We had sex probably five times.
Adam Carolla
Ah. Are you going down on him?
Chris Myers
Not yet.
Adam Carolla
Oh, wow.
Chris Myers
I asked him, I said, why wouldn't you eat my pussy? He goes, well, the most important things, like, you know, the main thing, is that you don't shower before you go to bed.
Adam Carolla
That's what he said.
Chris Myers
Yeah. As you are sitting there in your Abercrombie fish Speedo eating a leftover pad Thai cold with sesame sauce, and you are telling me my fortune cookie is, like, not okay with some stitch sweat and stitch sweat right on my nice fortune cookie, my mooncake. I'm not okay. I'm like, this is not even gay. That's autistic.
Adam Carolla
This I. You know, this guy seems to have a delicate wiring.
Chris Myers
I think so.
Adam Carolla
Because most guys after a few pops are not worried about the condom, are not worried about the shower. You know what I mean?
Chris Myers
Yeah. I don't think I'm Asian. I don't think.
Adam Carolla
I wonder if it's a new breed, because I don't know. How old is this guy?
Chris Myers
He's 33. He's one year younger than me, but he said he's 11 months younger now.
Adam Carolla
That's my. Okay, my theory is I didn't. We were not nearly this hygienic back in the day. There was no slathering on the purell. There was no shower twice a day. There weren't 13 different brands of body wash. Nobody was ever talking about deodorant. All over, you know, every commercial, some chick talking about, it's not just your armpits that smell, ladies. I'm not going to say what else smells, but you can do the fucking math. It ain't your forehead and it's so. We have deodorant for every part. All body deodorant. Eventually, I'm guessing we're just going to have deodorant dipping tanks where you just dip yourself in a fucking tank of deodorant. We have 5 million different cleaning products. We have 5 million different household cleaning products. Covid made everyone go insane. The fist bump. People won't let you hold their kids or their babies, you know, if you don't fucking get deloused to everything. They're supposed to be exposed to everything. Guys, shower and scrub. We didn't do this when I was young. You take a chick after she finished a Tour de France and eat her pussy on the podium bench.
Chris Myers
That's a real man.
Adam Carolla
Yes, that's a man.
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Seventh stage of the Tour de France on the podium.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I'm with you.
Adam Carolla
Not even. Wait till you got back to the hotel on the goddamn podium in front of everyone after a 500 mile bike race. All right, but the point is now everyone is dainty and everyone's worried about germs and all guys are basically pussies now. And so the younger guys are going to want you to hit the shower, scrub up, put some mondo deodorant on. You know, just all body deodorant. They're going to want to. They're going to want to put a mask on, put a little hole in it. They're going to want to purell up. Like we're. We're weird and germy and fucked up.
Chris Myers
I know he's German, so he want me to take a shower and wear a helmet.
Adam Carolla
Oh, hey, when a German tells you to get in the shower, I know that's not a good idea.
Chris Myers
I really want to find all the Jews hiding in my. 1, 2, 3, 4, 6. You got all the OCD. He's like German descent, like maybe 80% German. That's why he's so.
Adam Carolla
He wants you clean.
Chris Myers
I'm very messy. He's ocd, so we'll see how.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he's got the ocd. Yeah.
Chris Myers
I'll see how long he can suffer me. He's doing okay so far. Maybe I got my. Got myself a man. Maybe. I don't know. I. I tried. I mean, I try to make sure he understand the crazy.
Adam Carolla
Is he ocd? Does he say he's ocd?
Chris Myers
He doesn't say it, but I asked him. Like, I went to his apartment. It's Nazi clean. It's. It's beautiful, but it's very clean. I just. I don't know what to do. I feel uncomfortable.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And he's a fan of yours, so he knows your background. He knows.
Chris Myers
He knows all my story on stage. He knows everything, but I just don't know. I don't. I mean, he. So far, he's still putting up his everything. We'll see.
Adam Carolla
We'll see.
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right, well.
Jason Mayhem Miller
But you don't gotta see him all the time because he's not around here.
Chris Myers
He wants to make effort to hang out more. He actually invite me over for Christmas around Christmas.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, wow, he is your boyfriend then. That's a boyfriend move.
Chris Myers
He doesn't. He's like, let's take a day at a time. I'm like, whatever you want.
Adam Carolla
Christmas in Austin.
Chris Myers
Not Austin, Ohio.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he's going back to his German folks in Ohio.
Chris Myers
I'm doing a show there so I can meet them. They can come to my show and understand why, you know, we should break up.
Adam Carolla
How much modification of the act do you do knowing that the OCD German guy's parents are in the audience and.
Chris Myers
He'S his brother and sister, all his childhood friends. I definitely talk about the one night stand and the Uber eat condom. I just. He said you just be you. Ish. You know, Ish.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Not too much of you.
Chris Myers
Yeah. I don't know.
Adam Carolla
I mean, your act is, you know, R rated. I would say.
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Would you clean it? Listen, I've done it where I knew my whoever sister or something was in the crowd or something like that or whatever. You tweak things. You clean them up or my kids or something like that out in the audience. Would you tweak your act?
Chris Myers
I mean, I want to. I want him to be around. So I will try. Yeah. I really do. Because I. That would be. If we are still together by Christmas. We'll be like, together for two and a half months. That's like two years for me. That.
Adam Carolla
That's a long time.
Chris Myers
I may be able to, you know, make it work, kind of. So I try to make it work. I'll clean a little bit. Yeah, I think they'll be fine. I'll try to be demure to consider it and mindful.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Lady like.
Chris Myers
Yeah. Lady like. He's. Yeah, he's a sweet guy.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Well, all I'll say is this. Nobody changes at all. So whatever he is, weigh it out, figure it out. Make your decision, but do not go in going. I can make these little tweaks on this person.
Chris Myers
He's very stubborn. And he's a Capricorn. I tried to change him and didn't work, so I'm okay with it.
Adam Carolla
He's stubborn.
Chris Myers
He's stubborn, which is good. He's grounded. He just. Just, like, grounded. I'm crazy. And so he. I'm like a kite. I need somebody to pull me down before I blow away. So kind of good personality. Balance is good. Brilliance.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah.
Chris Myers
I'm in the fun. He's, you know.
Adam Carolla
Mm. All right. Stubborn can be bad, but sometimes it just means you believe in whatever your cause is.
Chris Myers
Yeah, he's stable. Like, he's. He's stable.
Adam Carolla
Okay, that's good.
Chris Myers
Yeah. So he can calm me down a little bit. All right. We'll see. All right. My son is a lot. If he meet my son, I don't know.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Now, let me ask you this. He's stable. Was the last guy you dated, like, less stable?
Chris Myers
I really didn't real date anyone after my divorce, so it just. I see someone for like, one week. Like, the guy I talked about last time is like, we had two dates, and then, you know, I assumed. I didn't know it was. This is like, more serious. He's like a serious person. We are dating. He's not a boyfriend yet, but it just sounds like he's just serious. He's just like. He won't make plans, plans, plans, plans. Even though he knows he exposed to the craziness. I told him, tell me. Tell. Tell me you love me. When I'm drunk, screaming at him, and he see me drunk and stuff. And he took out my hairpiece one by one when I was drunk.
Adam Carolla
Your hair?
Chris Myers
Yes. I have an extension and we're gonna have sex. And he was taking off from all my hairpiece. Extension and wash me and put me in a T shirt and feeding me coconut water. And I didn't get laid. I got coconutted. I was drinking coconut. I'm like, we have sex. He goes, no, because you were dead. I said, you can still have sex with me. No, no, no.
Adam Carolla
He can't even have sex with you when you were drunk.
Chris Myers
I was passed out as we have sex now.
Adam Carolla
Well, you know, it is rape in California at least, but in Texas is. No, in Texas, you get promoted to the governor's office. I know, but in California, if you have sex with someone who's intoxicated, it is technically rape now.
Chris Myers
Yeah. He won't choke me, which is very upset.
Adam Carolla
He won't choke him.
Chris Myers
Choke me. He's like, I. He just, like.
Adam Carolla
It's not Putting any real pressure on it.
Chris Myers
He just. I mean, I go, what are you looking for, Adam apple? Choke me.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, that one goes south every once in a while, too, you know, I love it.
Chris Myers
Like, he's not gonna kill me. He's a nice person. I mean, just to choke me a little bit. Let's be hot. But he's like, I don't want to hurt you. I'm like, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Like I said, every once in a while, somebody dies doing that.
Chris Myers
Really?
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Chris Myers
I mean, asking me, Hunt. Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's really hard to explain to the cops.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's hard to explain. And then you go, well, that's what she asked for. But then no one can really prove that, you know, you gotta be expert at it.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. You know, more than expert. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
I am an expert.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I can coach this guy.
Chris Myers
All right.
Adam Carolla
You have a son, right?
Chris Myers
Yeah. His name is Winston. He's five. And he's being funny, trying to do standup opening for me.
Adam Carolla
Well, there's a story that I wanted to bring up with you guys. It's a mom from Georgia, and they let. She let her kid walk home alone or something. She got arrested. Cop showed up. This is a thing now? Now, I know you grew up in a hard scrabble environment. I did as well. Mayhem did as well. I did whatever I wanted as a young person. I got on my bike and took off and just never came back. And we would go wherever, whenever, all day, every day. I mean, as far away as we could. We didn't have any form of communication, and my parents wouldn't go, here's a dime. Call me when you. It was nothing. It's just. I'm gone. I didn't have money, food, money, lunch money, pack lunch, nothing. Just literally gone. I mean, my parents didn't give a fuck, so we just, like, took off, and we'd just be gone all fucking day. And we started early, too. This wasn't, you know, in high school. This is early now. I don't know what this story is, Joe. I don't know how old the kid was. The kid? 10. Is that the story? 10 was plenty old enough for us just to. Just to take off. I don't know if it's a news story or what the deal was. We are freaking our kids out. We're fucking them up. This is the psychological version of slathering the Purell all over them, which is you are hurting your kid. Even though you think you are creating safety for your kid, you are damaging your kid psychologically by not letting them roam around and having a little autonomy. And you're hurting their immune system unknowingly by slathering the purell on them. That's what I have to say. But I don't know. But the story, there was a story though, right? So we don't really need the picture of him, but we do kind of need the story. Well, the pictures show you how old he was, but he, the mom was arrested when the kid was found over a mile from home walking by himself.
Jason Mayhem Miller
A mile? It's not far at all.
Adam Carolla
That's nothing. I know. That's 15 minutes.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Like, see, I would think that, okay, back in the day I would get.
Adam Carolla
But when didn't I hit the story? Didn't the story on the tweet, Joe have something to. It wasn't our story on that.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, I don't understand one mile.
Adam Carolla
Well, what I'm saying is somebody tweeted me this, so I hit it and it was like a story. Had cops on the front porch. But I don't know if there was vid or it was a news story or it was an article or something. But there's something there, right? Yeah, it was a news story. Which the clips are just mashups of news pieces and stuff like that. Oh, well, can we see it? How does it play? Well, that's what I'm saying. When I was telling you about favorite tweets, that's what I was kind of looking forward to. But I guess some neighbor must have called. Somebody had to call, right? Kids? 11 now 10. What are you in the tent when you're 10? What do you.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Fourth grade.
Adam Carolla
Fifth grade. Fourth grade? Yeah, fourth grade. Fifth grade.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, here's the lady.
Chris Myers
Police body camera video shows the moment.
Adam Carolla
Brittany Patterson was arrested for letting her.
Chris Myers
10 year old son walk into town by himself. What am I under arrest for? For reckless endangerment. And how was I?
Adam Carolla
We're not talking about it.
Chris Myers
On Oct. 30, Patterson said she took one of her children to the doctor. In the meantime, her son Soren, who since turned 11, decided to walk less than a mile into town from their home in R. Mineral Bluff, Georgia. While out Patterson got a call from the sheriff's department, worried that Soren was walking alone. I wasn't concerned. I wasn't, you know, panicking or concerned because it's just a short walk from our house. He knows how to get home. He knows how to get there. Authorities dropped Soren off at home and five hours later they returned. Call mommy and tell him they're taking you to jail because you decided to walk down the street, let go of your hands. That's not his fault. Yeah, call Army. You're the mother. That's your responsibility. Anytime I checked, it wasn't illegal for a kid to walk to the store. It is when they're 10 years old. Patterson.
Adam Carolla
Hold on a second.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Is that.
Adam Carolla
There's a law in the book that says.
Chris Myers
Is she the president? Like, lady cop?
Adam Carolla
The lady cops, they're the worst cops. The lady cops probably is a care lady. Don't tell them it's not her fault. Not his fault. Save the commentary, bitch. You're arresting somebody who let their kid in a rural town. By the way, we're not the south side of Chicago or something. By the way, in the south side of Chicago, they're probably 10 year olds just fucking running around with guns everywhere.
Chris Myers
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right, we'll keep it going. Sorry.
Chris Myers
Responsibility. Anytime I checked, it wasn't illegal for a kid to walk to the store. It is when they're 10 years old. Patterson was booked on suspicion of reckless conduct, a charge that could carry one year in jail. The warrant claiming she willingly and knowingly did endanger the bodily safety of her juvenile son.
Adam Carolla
Our criminal justice system is built on the fact that you did something or you were negligent, you did something criminally negligent. So what is it she did? Authorities have offered to drop the charge.
Chris Myers
If Patterson signs a safety plan that includes the use of a GPS tracker on her son's phone, but she refuses to sign it or admit anything.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, fuck them.
Chris Myers
I just felt like I couldn't sign that. And that in doing so would be agreeing that there was something unsafe about my home or something unsafe about my parental decisions. And I just don't believe that.
Adam Carolla
Brittany Patterson is out on bail, awaiting to see if prosecutors will indict her.
Chris Myers
On the reckless conduct charge.
Adam Carolla
All right, can I say this? Do you want bigger government, people? Do you want more government? Do you want more of this? Because this is where it's going. This is where it's going. Everyone. Do you want more of this? I don't. I want less of this. That's what I want. I don't know what the fuck that makes me, but why is everyone on the left cheering on bigger government? This is what happens. This is where we end up arresting fucking moms. But by the way, you can be arrested 28 times if you're in New York City, and you'll just be thrown out, and you can go stab somebody on the subway or Whatever it is. But is this what we want?
Chris Myers
I've been walking towards the Nike factory since I was 6 years old to work. Yeah, get it. It's bullshit. That boy needs to be a man. I mean, it's half mile.
Adam Carolla
Well, I guess the question is, is what is inherently dangerous about walking in the fourth grade or fifth grade? What is inherently dangerous about? Now, I walked to school when I was that age, was that inherently dangerous? Like the people that walk to school. So when saying is okay, you could be abducted, but you could be abducted, Zhao Ying can be abducted too. Eventually you'd be released because you'd be too annoying. But you could be abducted if you were just walking any woman, good luck with mayhem. But if you had a gun, they tried, you could probably pull it off, you know what I'm saying? So any citizen could be abducted. Any 40 year old woman walking a dog alone could be abducted.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's like the cops telling on themselves that hey, these streets aren't safe now, we don't trust anybody.
Adam Carolla
Well, in terms of safety, Lady Gaga's dog walker was walking their dog. He's probably a 40 year old dude, still got shot. They didn't prevent that. If he was 10, they would have won over, arrested Lady Gaga, but except for it wouldn't stop the bullets, you know. So if you're now, you could then say, well, maybe at that age you don't know where you are. Except for I knew where the fucking school was. Everybody walked to school in the fourth grade or fifth grade, knows where the school is. You walk in and the kid in a rural town knows where the thing is. So knowing where to get home. There's a version where you could say to the kid, tell me what happened. Well, I got dropped off in town and I had no idea how to get back to my house. And then you could say to the mom, you're endangered as a kid. But if the kid knows how to get home and it's not at night, but even if it is at night, the kid knows how to get at home and the kid is walking around, anyone could be shot, anyone could be abducted and anyone could be hit by a car. So what is inherently dangerous about being in the fourth grade and walking?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Nothing. But this is an enforcement thing. The enforcement is by this lady cop who's angry. I'm sure there's some hard ass cop over there like you that has the same mentality. It's like, yeah, let him walk, no problem. But some lady cop decided to enforce this in a way that doesn't even sound like that's the way to enforce it. She just threw up anything.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, what I've learned from women in positions of power, they dig in fast, and they don't like you fucking with them. Anyone who's been to the airport and dealt with the black chick and went, well, hold on, hold on. I don't need. I can bring this bag because I. Okay, now you're fucked. There's no. They dig in hard, they push back fast, and there is no negotiation.
Chris Myers
It's bad. I was. They were. I was going through the security, and she asked me to follow the guy with a hat. I just went to another place, and she goes, I'm speaking English. Do you speak it?
Adam Carolla
Oh, blackjack.
Chris Myers
Yeah. She happens to.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, black chicks are totally angry because we made them angry because we told them we didn't like them. And a lot of them don't know their dads, and so they're inherently angry. And then we put them at every airport. Everybody. This happens all the time. I get verbally abused by black chicks at the airport. There's nothing you can do about it. But I get it. We told them that white men don't like them, and I'm a white man, so I wouldn't treat me any differently either if I believed that I didn't want them in my country. But they don't feel like they can get fired and they're pissed off, and their bedside manner is weird and angry, and I've had it happen. I've had it happen. Another thing, too, with the fucking airport security is like, I've went through the security one time, and I took off my. I went through one time, and I left my ball cap on my head. And when I went through, the angry person on the other side went, take your hat off. And I went, oh, okay. And I took my hat off, and they, like, felt around. I went, okay. The next time I went through the airport, I took the hat off and walked through, and the angry chick went, put your hat on. It's like, all right. Are we just yelling at citizens at this point? Like, what are we doing? And there's no please or thank you. There's just. They just start yelling at you, and you're practically fucking cattle.
Chris Myers
Yeah, it's like a cattle. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So that's where we're at. So anyway, chicks, look, everyone hates when I say this, but defying women, they get pissed fast, and they go back hard. Men do too. Women do it harder and more.
Chris Myers
It's just the release for us. Whenever I scream and yell somebody, I just feel really happy. I release my happy heroin. I want to live longer when I yell. I like it. It really makes me feel better.
Adam Carolla
Right, so there was a. Well, let's watch a clip one more time. But I believe there was a man and a woman who were arresting. Why was the woman doing all the talking? And she didn't need to answer. She just could have kept putting the cuffs on and walking them back to the car, but she was the one doing the fucking talking. And see, the dude cop realized, this is chicken shit bullshit. I didn't sign up to be a cop to arrest fucking suburban moms who did nothing. That's what the guy's thinking. The chick is thinking, fuck this bitch. Don't fuck with me. I got a badge.
Chris Myers
Hours later, they returned. Call Mommy and tell them they're taking you to jail because you decided to walk down the street, let go of your hands. That's not his fault. Yeah, you're the mother. That's your responsibility. Anytime I checked, it wasn't illegal for a kid to walk to the store. It is when they're 10 years old.
Adam Carolla
All right?
Chris Myers
Patterson was.
Adam Carolla
So the guys just go and put your hands down and put the cups on. Because the guy's going this fucking embarrassing. Yeah, because this guy grew up, this male cop, he grew up watching Starsky and Hutch and all the good cop dramas, right? And he pictured himself sliding across the hood of a Gran Torino, yelling, no time for backup, let's roll. And, like, slapping a siren on top, going after some international drug cartel assassin, getting sideways, coming out of the alley, driving through boxes, catching air. You know what I mean? That's what he thought. He didn't sign up to arrest haus frauds that did nothing, right? So he's kind of embarrassed that he had to roll on this call, because any dude would be, especially dude who wanted to be a cop. So he's just like, put your hands back. Thanks. But the fucking lady cop, she's ready to fucking scrap.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Drop the oven mitts, bitch.
Adam Carolla
Get on the ground. Take your apron off right now. Take the stove first out of the toaster oven. So the lady wants to fucking scrap.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
She doesn't. See, this is why. This is what I did. She didn't have to say anything. By the way, though, the mom, roll it one more time. The mom. The mom is saying to the son. Yes, they're just call your grandma or call. Look, okay, it's another thing. You're endangering the kid by leaving him Alone now in the house or whatever. But the mom is saying to the son, call your mom or call your grandma or call whomever and tell them I'm being arrested. And because you were walking around, not because I took a curling iron to your nut sack. Like, I don't want to think child protective services are here because I'm putting cigarettes out on you. Tell them what happened and whatever. The lady cop did not have to get involved with that conversation. She could have just kept arresting the person, but she's a lady.
Chris Myers
Five hours later they returned. Call mommy and tell them they're taking you to jail because you decided to walk down the street. That's not his fault. Yeah, you're the mother. That's your responsibility. Anytime I checked, it wasn't illegal for a kid to walk to the store. It is when they're 10 years old.
Adam Carolla
All right, first things first. She didn't say it was your fault. She just said, call the other parent authority and tell them I'm being arrested. And it was because you're walking down the street. She didn't say it's your fault. She just said that. All right. Gotta get women out of positions of power. That's what I'm saying.
Chris Myers
I have a joke about a female president. They would not start a war, but they would start a war. And you don't know what he did.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, you don't know what. The war is over.
Chris Myers
Yeah, right. They wouldn't tell you what you did wrong. There's a war, but you have no idea what you did wrong.
Adam Carolla
We would like carpet bomb Sweden and then Sweden would be like, what the fuck? And then he'd like go look in the mirror Sweden and try to figure out what you just did.
Chris Myers
Also, you know, if you are talking to another country behind her back. Nuke.
Adam Carolla
Yep.
Chris Myers
Yeah, that's.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We had a dream you were going to invade us.
Chris Myers
Yeah, there's a dream.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Chris Myers
Five years ago.
Adam Carolla
No, it was Sweden. The reason we carpet bombed you is because we had a dream that you had an affair with Portugal.
Chris Myers
Yes, Portugal.
Adam Carolla
I didn't have an affair with. You got carpet bomb, bitch. I dreamed it. That's true. With the five dollar meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken. Then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Pricing participation may vary.
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Adam Carolla
All right, let's see. I got another thing here. They're now look, I don't like to say I was ahead of the times, but you don't. I have been explaining for years into a microphone that I am a sink peer. I pee in sinks of bathrooms. Not every single one, but as many. I've been talking about this for years and years and years into the micron and basically works like this. If I'm years ago, if I'm, if I'm taking, if I'm brushing my teeth in front of the mirror, I'm taking a piss into the sink as I'm brushing my teeth and then I give it a shot of water and it's basically like taking a glass of water and dumping it into the sink versus two gallons of water, which the toilet does. So anyone who's into an environment should be on my side with this. But nobody is. All everyone does is call me gross. Pee is urine. Urine is sterile, basically. But I've been talking about this and talking about saving water and talking about this for 25 years and now they're starting to come out with sink urinals, which is you take a leak while you're brushing your teeth and then you just give a shot of water. You wash your hands and the water that's used to wash your hands flows the urine down the drain versus flushing. So all we ever talk about, especially in Southern California, is we're in a drought. We're in a drought zone. No watering, don't hose your driveway down. Don't wash your own car, sweep your driveway. Drought, drought, drought. But we never talk about peeing in the sink and how many kajillions of gallons it would save.
Chris Myers
I think it's good for smart people because they can sink, but for dumb people, they just pee on the wall and just like, but this is for smart people can actually function well.
Adam Carolla
Okay? I have been in many, many a bar and many, many a stadium and seen many a drunken, dumb dude find the Urinal so they can find it. I don't think. I think even dumb guys could find the urinal.
Chris Myers
That's impressive.
Adam Carolla
So this is a urinal. It's just got a sink built into the top. I love it. I would use the shit out of this. Do you have this? The picture of this is at a gallery in a place that sells plumbing and toilets and things that sinks and that nature. I'll bet you this is in Europe because Europeans are pean. European. Europeans are always ahead of us in the piss game. They're that way with the outdoor urinal stuff. They're always a couple steps in front of the Americans. Like you take our porta Potties. What is the difference between. What is the difference between a Porta Potty in 2024, a brand new Porta potty here in the United States and a shit Shack from 1821. Like the Old west, like in Hateful Eight. Is there any tech, is there anything that's up? It's a fucking pot. You piss in it. It's got four walls and a little chimney breather. Like we don't move forward from a technological standpoint. In Europe they have these three way piss pod things that are just carved out. You can turn your back to society. They're always ahead of us in Europe about and Asian cultures, maybe not China, Japan. They're ahead of us in the piss game. A porta potty is the exact same thing as an outhouse. And an outhouse is 300 $915. Best 915 bucks you'll ever spend. Where's this out of? Is it a European unique Chinese. Is it Chinese?
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
God, I owe you.
Chris Myers
Anibaba Express.
Adam Carolla
I owe you an apology.
Chris Myers
Wow. We. There's. This is.
Adam Carolla
Can I get one of those?
Chris Myers
Yeah, let me order one for you.
Adam Carolla
Would you like to Purchase one for AliExpress?
Chris Myers
I have an account with AliExpress.
Adam Carolla
You do?
Chris Myers
Yes.
Adam Carolla
So I have Audi stocks, this Alibaba thing, but not an Amazon thing Or is that how that works? Or I don't know how it works.
Chris Myers
We can order and send it to the wholesaler. Yeah, it's the AliExpress, the wholesaler. You just buy 10. Well, give your friends.
Adam Carolla
Let me give.
Chris Myers
All right, let's.
Adam Carolla
Let's work this out. Let's work this out.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I know what I'm getting for Christmas.
Adam Carolla
We have a bathroom. Our bathroom has a toilet and a urinal, but no sink in one of them.
Chris Myers
I was there because you were shaving in the other room. I was there to Pee.
Adam Carolla
You did. Yeah, I know, but thank you. The other one has a sink and a toilet, but no urinal. The one with the urinal could use a sink, but I don't know where we would put it, but I do now order this shit up. I'm putting this bad boy in.
Chris Myers
I did not wash my hand.
Adam Carolla
You what?
Chris Myers
I did not wash my hands.
Adam Carolla
I wash mine because my hands in.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The urinal, that's okay, right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, you can do that like a. Like a bird taking a bath.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We call it a bird bath.
Adam Carolla
915 on Alibaba. And is it. Is it available? Like, it's Schneider diamond. I mean, it's not a Home Depot item. Yeah, I'm sure that's not a home. It will be. It will come to. For it will be.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Americans are very like, if you say that you pissed in a sink, you know it. Everybody's like, whoa, yuck, that's so gross. Even the guys who will come up to you afterwards will be like, haha. Yeah, me too.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we have a weird. It's again, it's women. Like, if I had a thermos and I had to piss really bad and I like pissed in it, and any woman I had ever been with would be like, well, you got to throw that shit out. I'd go, no, I'll just clean it, you know? And they go, no, no, it's no good anymore. And I go, it's made of alum. I can just fucking clean it. By the way, I wouldn't use soap. I just do with a hot rinse, shake it up, rinse it a couple times. Fine. They go, I'm not drinking out of that. It's like, okay, miss Scientists, by the way, we just got fucked by Covid because of the fucking numbskulls like you guys who didn't know anything but women would not go for this. But they don't use the urinal. We use the urinal. Now. I would know women who would not use that sink.
Chris Myers
I will use it.
Adam Carolla
You would use it.
Chris Myers
And Gwenith Paltrow would not use it.
Adam Carolla
Gwyneth. Okay, here. Okay, here's what I would say. If I installed this in my house, most women would go, that's gross. And then I'd go, what's gross? And then they'd go, I'm not gonna use that sink. And then I'd go, why wouldn't you use the sink? And they go, are you kidding? It's gross. And then I'd go, why not? And then at some point they would Enlist the help of another woman. Another woman would come by and they look at them, and they'd go, you wouldn't use that sink over the urinal, would you? And they'd go, no way, that's gross. And then they would think they won the argument, even though there is no argument, because the sink is above the urinal. You're not pissing into the sink. You can get one. A sink urinal out here?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, for 415. They said 415. Oh, yeah, that's the. That's the lighter model.
Adam Carolla
Where's that one from?
Chris Myers
Delta.
Adam Carolla
Delta.
Chris Myers
Delta.
Adam Carolla
I. Listen, listen, there. There is now going to be way more than one offering on the sink piss. Right?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I don't think that's from Delta. That's just a promo at the top. But that's on Amazon. That's on Amazon.
Chris Myers
Wow.
Adam Carolla
4. 4:15. Okay.
Chris Myers
It's a smaller one.
Adam Carolla
Let's do it. Uh, don't get the fixture yet. Okay. Let me ask this, though. I have a urinal there. Now, I would like a urinal sink. The urinal only requires cold water.
Chris Myers
Mm.
Dawson
Ooh.
Adam Carolla
So I have cold water stubbed out to work the faucet. And you wouldn't want to wash your urine down with hot water, per se. That's why they dump ice in the urinal at the bars. Keeps the smell down. When I hook up this urinal sink, do I have to pull a hot water line? Or can I just hook up the cold and leave it at cold? And fuck you if you want to wash your hands. It's just cold water. You know, you don't get hot water. Is that fine?
Jason Mayhem Miller
I think you gotta roll like that. If not, I mean, we're going warm pissed. Like, real hot boiling.
Adam Carolla
It's not really worried about that. It's just people. When they wash your hands, look for some hot water. That's all. This is a bonus sink. It's a bonus.
Zhao Ying Summers
There.
Adam Carolla
There's no sink. So all. All sink is bonus sink. Okay. I think so. Are there many of these devices now, Joe? I guess more than one. That's the only one that. That seems like it's available in America. There's nothing on Home Depot or Lowe's, but there is that one on Amazon. Home Depot. So here's what's gonna happen. Same thing that happened with gay marriage. Gay marriage. 20 years ago. People like, what the fuck? No, no. And now it's like, oh, yeah, that's right. Good. Good for us. Gay marriage. Pissing in the sink of the sink urinal. Thing. Get the fuck out. 20 years from now, it'll be gay marriage. Yeah. Why don't you have one? I got one, right. They're going to put it in barbecues. Next, there'll be a urinal in a.
Zhao Ying Summers
Barbecue so you can pee while you're barbecuing.
Adam Carolla
It's going everywhere. It's going everywhere. It's going everywhere.
Chris Myers
Well, you burn your dick scary.
Adam Carolla
Well, this is a hypothetical, but it could happen. No urinal sinks at Snyder diamond, by the way. That's an upscale place where they would sell sinks and faucets and things like that. All right, well, let's order one up, Joe, because I'm fucking swapping that thing out. God damn it. Oh, I'm going to be the bell ball. But this is essentially what I've been talking about for more than 25 years.
Jason Mayhem Miller
See? Well, people are behind the times, but eventually it's going to hit the pissing point.
Adam Carolla
Well, the other thing that I can take a victory lap on. I don't know if you saw this, but there's a video of a guy trying to remove a crow from the roof of his car.
Jason Mayhem Miller
No.
Adam Carolla
Hell, there's a crow.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I love crows.
Adam Carolla
They're smarter and shit. They're super loyal. And my tack, crows will come to fruition one day. There will be protective service for us. And this guy's a crow sitting on his car. You can play and the crow's not moving. So he walks around and he picks the crow up to move it off of his car. And when he does that, he finds out that the crow has friends. But I'm just using as an illustration of what happens when you're attacked by a crow, which is all you can do is flail and get out of the way. He makes it. Now all the crows come down and start pounding on his head. Because that's what crows do. They don't care if they're giving away £200 to you. They with you. And all this guy can do is retreat to his car. Although he seems sort of surprisingly okay with it, because I would be in the car as fast as I could possibly get in the car. But they're loud and they fuck with you, and that's. That's. With no training. Wait till I train my attack crows to go after bad guys.
Chris Myers
They can take the eyes out. They are so vicious.
Adam Carolla
You have these stories all the time. There's a guy, he's got a machete. He's standing in the middle of the bridge. He's threatening people. The cops Are yelling, put the machete down. He's not gonna be death by suicide with cop. You know, everything. They shot him with a beanbag. All it did was piss him off. Get the crows. Get the crows. He's not machete down on the face screaming for mercy.
Zhao Ying Summers
I had to move.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I had a war with those crows. Oh, my God.
Adam Carolla
You did?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, man. I came in backyard one time, and the hot dog dog had. Was locked into mortal battle with a crow.
Adam Carolla
Your dog that you shaved and colored to look like an alligator, Correct?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Gator. Gator.
Adam Carolla
Hot Dog Dog. Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He. He had already wounded him by the time I got out there because I was smoking a joint. But I came out there and was like, what the fuck is going on? And I separated them. And then suddenly I like, hot dog.
Adam Carolla
Dog was doing a bat was doing battle with crows already put.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Put in work. And the crow was, like, wounded.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yes. He. He, like, must have snuck up on him. I know. Actually, the crows were eating my tulips that I got from Amsterdam, so I was kind of mad about that. But I didn't know that till later.
Chris Myers
That's good.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Anyway, I like. I wrapped up the crowd in a blanket and a towel, and I said. I put him on the front door, front porch. I said, hey, bud, if you're not gone in 15 minutes, I'm come back with the shovel. And he took off from then on.
Chris Myers
Wow.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The crows followed me.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Forever.
Adam Carolla
Very loyal.
Zhao Ying Summers
Forever.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You didn't become your friend screaming at, no, we're not friends.
Adam Carolla
They recognize.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I had to sell my house and leave darts.
Adam Carolla
They had to leave darts. They recognize your face. I know. When people do crow research, they have to wear a mask so they're not attacked. When the researcher leaves the facility and goes to the parking lot, the crows will recognize you literally have to be like you're in the movie Point break and you're robbing a bank. Otherwise, the crows remember, they're smarter than we are. They use tools. They're mean, they're loyal, they're trainable. They should be being recruited and train to be attack crow.
Chris Myers
Also, the girls who's getting dumped and ghosted should have a crow best pet. So if a guy ghost you, you snail crow after him.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Chris Myers
You can't even get laid. Just bite his dick when he's trying to put it out.
Adam Carolla
You send him to do your bidding. Like the wicked witch with the flying monkeys.
Chris Myers
Wow, that's so smart.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I welcome our crow overlords.
Adam Carolla
All right, Joe, when I was telling you about the before and after with Sonny Hostin. I think I also mentioned Michelle Obama in there, which you may want to try to drum up as well. I'll explain that in a minute. We'll take a quick break, come back, we'll do the news right after this. Hey, I'm Adam Kroll. That's Brad Williams and Jay Leno. Hey, everybody over there. We're doing our third annual comedy fantasy camp. That's going to be January 23rd through the 26th, right. In Hollywood, California. Where else would it be? These guys are going to be there. Remember, two out of every three comics make it big or one and a half. Do I get paid for this? Please tell me get paid for this. Go to comedy fantasy camp.com and get in on the fun. Morgan and Morgan. Life can be crazy sometimes and one person's negligence can result in another settlement. So let's hope that if anything happens to you, you get hold of Morgan and Morgan. If you're ever injured, check out our good friends Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1,000 lawyers. And as long as we're in the Moore department, more than 20 billion with a B dollars recovered for over 500,000 plus clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting and getting you full and fair compensation. Going on the road, doing stand up every weekend, well, that can be hard. But submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan, that's easy. So go with Morgan and Morgan. Right, Dawson, if you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information go to forthepeople.com Adam or dial Law £529 from your cell phone. That's for the people.com Adam or Law 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Hey, it's Adam Kroll from the Adam Karolla show. Bet Online is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting. From the earliest odds to in game live betting, Betonline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch, watch and bet on games as they happen. With the largest selection of odds on everything from football, NBA and college basketball as well. BetOnline has NHL, MMA and championship boxing. All your betting needs in one place. Head to betonline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun. Make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with betonline Bet Online. The game starts here.
Dawson
Building a business may feel like a big jump, but on deck, small business loans can help keep you afloat with lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to 250,000. On deck, lets YouTube the loan that's right for your business. As a top rated online small business lender, Ondeck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs. Visit ondeck.com for more information. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtic Bank. Ondeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.
Chris Myers
In the California road trip Republic, we believe you take adventure for a ride. Whether coastal cruising, mountain motoring, or redwood roaming. Discover beauty around every turn. Your road trip can kick off from.
Adam Carolla
Anywhere starting route, but it should always.
Chris Myers
Start@Visitcalifornia.Com then buckle up, crank those tunes, and discover why California is the ultimate playground.
Adam Carolla
It's time to check Adam's voicemail.
Zhao Ying Summers
Hey, Adam Richmond Pullman for you.
Adam Carolla
Your job involves assembling a cabinet.
Zhao Ying Summers
Get it on.
Adam Carolla
You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Yeah, I think we use that one, Dawson, but it's good. I asked around if anybody had heard it. I'm sorry, that's my bad. If we doubled it, that's all right. Not everyone hears every second of the show, but it's good. It's assembling a cabinet because you're shopping at Ikea or you're Trump assembling your cabinet. It's good. Interesting. All right, what do you got? Mayhem, man.
Jason Mayhem Miller
First of all, Jaguar is dubbed Bud Light 2.0 after releasing a modernist rebranding ad with androgynous models and no cars.
Adam Carolla
Check it out. Mm. Super skinny, weird, androgynous models of all colors looking weird, live, vivid. Delete ordinary dudes in dresses. Break molds. Although I don't know if he could swing that sledgehammer. Too fucking spindly and weird. Serious copy. Nothing. Yeah, probably not put together by car guy.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Mugatu, I think.
Adam Carolla
Put this Mugatu. Who's that?
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's the bad guy from.
Adam Carolla
From.
Jason Mayhem Miller
From Ben Stiller's movie.
Adam Carolla
Classic movie. Yeah.
Chris Myers
Am I being racist or do I don't have the Asian woman in the back?
Jason Mayhem Miller
That's the Asian dude.
Chris Myers
That's me.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
Chris Myers
Is that. Am I being racist because she looked like me?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, you're racist.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you're talking about Will Ferrell's character.
Chris Myers
Yeah, the one in the middle. The girl in the middle. A man, maybe.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I don't know. So I don't know what we're doing. And sometimes I think we are trolling.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yes, exactly. Right.
Adam Carolla
Because this getting a lot more eyeballs than a commercial of a white guy just driving a Jaguar.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Around some cones or something. You know what I mean? So I'm assuming that's what they're doing. But it's definitely a trend in that. But it's a metaphor for society. So society used to care about statistics and data and numbers. Right. And so we would say so. But not only that. Well, it's sort of like. So you think about this, Joe. Remember we played that clip yesterday of Sanchez or Lopez or whatever from Texas, basically explaining, no one's illegal. Get that ready because I will tie it into this. Which is to say when I was. When in a different period in this, this country's time, when you were selling a car, you were selling sticker price versus horsepower versus torque versus warranty. You know, you had a rust proof warranty and a drivetrain warranty and an engine warranty. You know, and so. So what you're saying is, you're saying, hey, pragmatic people. This car is $17,000, but has more horsepower than the one that's 22,000 and a better warranty. And they would sell it. That's how they sold cars. They go, you could buy this expensive Mercedes, but our Datsun is more durable and cost half the price. And they were selling numbers, fuel mileage. They would tell you on the commercial, 27 on the highway and 23 in the city, you know, those are estimates, you know, but that's the fuel mileage. Numbers, numbers, numbers. Here's the sticker prize. We have a lease program where you put 2% down and your payments are 289amonth. Numbers, numbers, numbers. Then we as a society decided we were done with facts and done with numbers. And we're only into good vibes. Emotions, which is in emotion.
Chris Myers
Yeah, I hate that because for the Ivy League school, when they. When they accept students like the Chinese kids, Asian kids are good with calculus. They have good score, but they want you to be trans and to.
Adam Carolla
Right, right.
Chris Myers
Sorry, Asians, zero score. But if you are not like diverse. Right. You can't get in. Right enough.
Adam Carolla
Asians in the school, meritocracy versus good vibes. Well, we have figured out that good vibes are where our society was at. Now we just had an election that said fuck good vibes because Kamala Harris was Trying to get by on Good Vibes. Mama La, she's gonna dance and have a good time and bring it all back. But everyone went, fuck that. We're getting back into warranties and we're getting back into sticker price. We're getting back into fuel. We need to get back. Because the Good Vibes don't do anything. They fuck everything up. And it. Subaru was made with love and all this kind of stuff. So car commercials, no more information. Now we don't even see the car.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I think this is a bit of rage baiting. That was on purpose.
Adam Carolla
That was on purpose.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And then look, they got Elon Musk tweeting at him.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Do you sell cars?
Adam Carolla
Right, Right.
Jason Mayhem Miller
They baited the ultimate guy to get them some more eyeballs. We're talking about it. Everybody's talking about him. I think that that was the whole.
Chris Myers
Strategy to piss you off.
Adam Carolla
It may be now.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I just remember that Jaguars, like break down a lot. I thought, like, I would. I would want to fix that, but instead just throw a dress on.
Adam Carolla
Jag. Jag. All English cars used to have a lot of problems.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Electrical, right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Chris Myers
Like the dogs. Right? Like the English dogs always have problems. The hip problem. Like the cockers. No. What do they have?
Adam Carolla
English bulldog.
Chris Myers
The core. Like English corgi.
Adam Carolla
Corgi. English bulldogs Got the word English in it. All right, but. Yeah. All right, look, I'll play this 30 second clip, but I'm saying this is. This is Good Vibes versus. Versus a plan.
Chris Myers
It's going to cost a lot of money. Estimates say 88 billion. 88 billion. To just process and deport. Deport 1 million people. Do the math. How is he going to pay for it? What do you want to happen then to the millions of people that are here? Do you support people who are here illegally that have committed crimes in the past few years? Do you support them being deported? I support treating all of God's children with dignity and respect. Even criminals. Dignity and respect.
Adam Carolla
All right, so that's Good Vibes, but that's not a plan. And now we're in the Good Vibes era. Although we voted in the plan guy, not the Good Vibes guy. So now it's going to be a clash of the Good Vibes versus the plan. And we'll see how that plays out. But the guy's going to try to make a lot of plans and the Good Vibers are going to fight with the plan people, and we'll see how that works. All right, what else you got there?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Well, a buddy of yours. You need to call and check on him. Jay Leno busted his face in a nasty fall.
Adam Carolla
I did talk to him. Check out his eye patch. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's not just the eye patch. His face is clearly better after the surgery.
Chris Myers
Right?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Tell us what he told you.
Adam Carolla
They told me it was a gay trick that got out of hand.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, that's rough, man. That's rough.
Adam Carolla
I mean, people say eyepatch, but his entire face is black and blue.
Chris Myers
I mean, he's not known for his looks. He doesn't look worse. It just. Yeah, if he fixes.
Adam Carolla
He looks like a funny pirate.
Jason Mayhem Miller
If anything, that. Yeah, his chin saved him.
Adam Carolla
All right, we'll play the clip. By the way, what on earth happened to Jay Leno? Oh, your poor face.
Chris Myers
Look at.
Adam Carolla
Look at my eye. Oh, my gosh. Jay Leno is all bruised up. The left side of his face is black and blue. His eye is swollen shut. And look at his injured wrist. I broke my wrist, lost my nail on the finger, and then I'm all black and blue. The comedian says he fell down a 60 foot hill.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Damn.
Adam Carolla
I said, well, the hill doesn't look that steep. Let me take a. And then I. You rolled down a hill? He loves it. Jay Leno says he was staying in a hampton Inn about 30 miles outside of Pittsburgh when he wanted to have dinner at a local restaurant for the show. Instead of walking a mile and a half down the road, he decided to take a shortcut down the hill. Not a good idea. This is believed to be the steep. Pause it for a second.
Chris Myers
Where is he?
Adam Carolla
Let me tell you something about not a good idea, people. These are excellent ideas if you pull them off.
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
People say to me all the time, like, don't you think you should tell the inspector about the bootleg? Whatever. I go, no, but it's only a bad idea if I get busted. It's a great idea if you make it down the hill and get to the restaurant an hour faster. Right? They don't tell that. They go, bad idea. It's like saying, yeah, you got on that airplane that crashed. Mayhem. Bad idea. It's like, well, it's only bad because the plane crashed. It was a good fucking idea when you were going to Pittsburgh earlier that week, though, right, man? He. Yeah, Hampton and Hampton. Sounds too much like too close to hamper. All right, I'm sorry. He fell down the hill. Yeah, go ahead.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I'm just looking at his face. I think, you know, you could get.
Adam Carolla
A knock knocker in there. Yeah, go ahead and Play it well. I hit a bunch of rocks. It was 60ft. Incredibly, the famous workaholic legend performed just three hours later without even taking a day off to nurse his injuries. Last night, he was back at it again, performing at a comedy show in Beverly Hills. This is just the latest mishap to afflict Leno in recent years. In November 2022, he was severely burned in a fire inside his garage. I went to the Grossman Burn center and I got a new face. That's a brand new ear. Leno needed skin grafts. And there he is undergoing hyperbaric therapy at the world renowned Grossman Burn center in Los Angeles. Tomorrow night, he'll perform at Comedy for a Cause in Hermosa beach to raise money for the Byrne Foundation. His thank you for saving his life. Will you be able to see again? It'll be fine. I'm not worried about it. I love that guy's wiring show. Must go on. Laid back. They didn't even talk about the motorcycle crash.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, he was in a motorcycle wreck a little while ago. Broke his leg.
Adam Carolla
It was clotheslined. Yeah. He was on a car with a side hack. You know what a side hack is?
Chris Myers
What's a side hack?
Adam Carolla
Side hacks, A three wheeled motorcycle.
Chris Myers
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Real popular amongst Nazis. You know, there's always that guy in the side hack.
Chris Myers
I should buy this for my future boyfriend.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. Tell me he can get in the hack. You know. You know what the guy in the hack is called?
Chris Myers
What?
Adam Carolla
The monkey.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Chris Myers
Okay.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And then he can hang out the side and whatnot to keep the thing going around. Oh, when I was a kid, I loved that. Thought that was the coolest thing.
Adam Carolla
Three wheel motor races. A side hack races.
Chris Myers
Yes.
Jason Mayhem Miller
That was badass.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Jay's guy Bernard, who's a crazy Swedish guy, races a three wheel motorcycle and has a side hack. You gotta have a monkey.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Does he need a monkey? Can I sign up for this?
Adam Carolla
You know what's kind of weird is his monkey is a dude I went to high school with and he's a big dude. And so you kind of go, wait a minute. Do you want a big dude in that position? Because it's a motorcycle, it's got good power for a motorcycle, but it doesn't have that much. It's a weight to horsepower situation. But also this guy Kowski, who. The monk who was his monkey, that's Bernard's monkey, is a tall, big dude. And so when you hang out over the fender.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You got that much more leverage, that much more weight and that much more where you want it.
Chris Myers
Because I'm just thinking is they are prepared for the accident because the faggot can be a meat pat.
Adam Carolla
Oh, they got into a bad accident. You're gonna get into an accident when you're turning left. Because I think the hack's on the left. When you're turning left, the guy's hanging off the thing as far out as he can hang to keep that wheel on the ground. And when you're turning right, he's sucked up. No, no, he's turned. He's hanging out on the right turn and on the left turn. He's in tight with you. Oh, he's out on the. Let's see. Wait a minute. No, he's in tight with you on the right turn. He's in tight with you on the right turn. I think on the left. But it's nuts and it's crazy. And these guys are going 175 miles an hour and they're just hanging out on this third wheel on the side with like a bar on it that they can hang onto. And hang this way.
Chris Myers
Oh, my gosh.
Adam Carolla
And hang that way. Mm.
Chris Myers
That's. I don't know. It's scary. It sounds like a threesome you have. Yeah, like you just getting. Just watching people doing crazy shit and you're not even a part of it, really.
Adam Carolla
Show me a picture. Bernard and Kowski on their side hack. So this guy's always at Leno's shop. So Leno's got a side hack too, but his side hack is just a side cart. And he was just out riding his three wheeler and some guy strung a cable across the road or something and he just hit it and just threw him right off the back of the thing. The hack is on the shit. It's on the right or the left maybe? It's on the right.
Jason Mayhem Miller
What? No, it's on the left, isn't it?
Adam Carolla
It's on the left. Pretty sure. I wonder if they move it. Depending on if the most tracks turn shit to the right. I don't know. Anyway, you lean way. The fuck. It is hairy. It's hairy. It's one of those crazy sports. It's up there with drag boat racing or something. Like what? Who thought of this, who's doing it, and how do you get paid? Yeah, these guys are guys turning left. So the guys. Wow. Hanging off.
Chris Myers
That's the monkey.
Adam Carolla
The hack.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yes, the monkey.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Well, they're both wearing a helmet, has.
Chris Myers
A pink on it.
Adam Carolla
The monkey is the guy who's Hanging off the hack. That's the monkey hat.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I never seen it like that. But that's buck wild.
Chris Myers
That's scary.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. This isn't Bernard, though. And that bikes. This thing's a little tame. Bernard's like riding on a big slick. His nuts. His bike is three wheelers. Nuts. I think they crashed. I think they won the championship. I can't remember Bernard. Swedish guy, doesn't talk that much.
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Chris Myers
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Adam Carolla
Anywhere starting route, but it should always.
Chris Myers
Start@Visitcalifornia.Com then buckle up, crank those tunes and discover why California is the ultimate playground.
Adam Carolla
All right, what else we got, man?
Jason Mayhem Miller
You know what else we got? Ellen degeneres and Portia de Rossi were leaving this Trump dump. Yeah, they're one of the few celebrities to actually move. They're selling their house in Montecito. Well, they previously sold that one. But they are going to sell their property and I guess get out of here. To England?
Adam Carolla
Well, England's nice. And I don't think. I don't think the tax system is beneficial, but I don't think she's really working or earning and they're just kind of retired. So you might want to retire there, Trump or not. I mean, you might buy home and live in the countryside.
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. I don't understand.
Adam Carolla
We're officially done with Ellen. We don't have her to kick around anymore.
Chris Myers
I don't need her.
Adam Carolla
I don't need her either.
Chris Myers
I don't need her energy. She's fine. Yeah, she's okay.
Adam Carolla
What do you think Portia de Rossi thinks?
Chris Myers
She doesn't think. She just wearing cock rings on their finger and just eat each other out. She gets lick. I think that's what she does. She is not getting yelled at. I think she probably can't hear or she's wearing earplug all day.
Adam Carolla
Ah.
Chris Myers
Because Alan's screaming at her, I'm pretty sure. But she's like, 1 million, 2 million, 3 million. Just, you know, she just, like, think about the money and don't hear. Just get on her knees. That's what she does. She's definitely yelling at, like, I. I know all of the narcissists who yell at their staff. They yell at their wife or their husband all day. They just pretend that's okay because there's an inside deal, but they're always really.
Adam Carolla
Nice to their dog.
Chris Myers
Well, because. I don't know. I. I. Are they really nice? You never know.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes.
Adam Carolla
They overcompensate. All evil people are way too. All evil bitches are way too nice to their dog.
Chris Myers
Sleep, like, in a circle. Sexually abuse a dog. You don't know.
Adam Carolla
Like I said, we don't know for certain.
Chris Myers
I eat them. I don't like them.
Adam Carolla
I'm saying every woman I've ever met who was horrible to her staff or employees was way too nice to their dog. Yeah, it's a. It's an over conversation. I hate that, too.
Chris Myers
They're like, the. Your dog's better than you because during the war, China, Japan war, when China. Japan. Occupied China, no Chinese and dog allowed inside.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Chris Myers
So they want to compare you to dog. They can be human as you born. Like, I. My dog can have this coffee, but got on your knees. My feet. So I think it's a county way to show people you are not dogs. Better than you. Yeah, that's probably why.
Adam Carolla
Well, I like Leno. I want him to stay. Ellen, I don't need. Yeah. You find a picture. You found Bernard, and Cassie's a big dude. Bernard's no flyweight either, but that fucking bike of theirs has so much horsepower. Oh, yeah.
Chris Myers
This looks like a fence.
Jason Mayhem Miller
This is what I was thinking. Well, damn.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Not even.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he's dragging his ass on the ground. And Bernard, who's nuts, is going 170 miles an hour at Willow Springs with no roll bar, no nothing. So when you. When it gets hit, when it goes bad, it goes bad, and it's. That's it.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, you're on your own.
Adam Carolla
You don't want to do that.
Jason Mayhem Miller
No, Never mind. I changed my mind. Doesn't seem as fun with my ass cheeks dragging on the ground.
Adam Carolla
I will. I will figure out how fast they're turning these laps because Bernard told me he was at the big track at Willow, and I think they won the championship there. Now Joe has to find out what the fastest lap Bernard did at Willow Springs in his three wheel motorcycle. Because I did a Trans Am race there in a Corvette and I can tell you what the lap time was and what the speeds were. And I think these guys get around this track faster than a professional Trans Am car.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Damn.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Which is fucking hairy breakneck speed.
Chris Myers
Do you think the monkey and the guy who's driving are best friends? They also best friends in life.
Adam Carolla
Bernard's not best friends with anybody.
Chris Myers
I just don't know. I feel like they're like a bromance. You know? We can born the same day, but we can die the same day. And they take a forever.
Adam Carolla
They do rely very heavily on each other because each one of them could kill the other person.
Chris Myers
It's like a marriage, right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All you'd have to do as the monkey is when you're supposed to be hanging off to the left, just shift to the right and you're both going off the fucking track. And same with the driver. You're both really responsible for each other. But imagine, you ever drive around? I do that. My girlfriend's like, I go 41 miles an hour in the canyon. She's like, slow down. Slow down. Can you imagine being the monkey? How you have to just give away all control?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Did you find it? Joe might be somewhere. I found some race results.
Zhao Ying Summers
2015.
Adam Carolla
His best lap is 122. 122. Yeah. That is. That's Bernard and Kowski. Huh? 122 is right. What we did in a professional Trans Am race. But I'm in a cage. So I got bars all safer all around me. Yeah. And look up Trans Am. I think you'll look up like 2017 Trans Am. I think you'll see the guy on the poll was like a 119. And I was probably like a 122. But that was qualifying. But anyway, all right. Same to me. And I'm going 160 on that track. So they're going 160 hanging off the side of a shopping cart. Kind of crazy.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You don't want to underwear.
Adam Carolla
You don't want to do it anymore.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Do you want to do it? I changed my mind.
Adam Carolla
You'd rather get in the car?
Jason Mayhem Miller
I'd rather fight people than that. Jesus Christ. Look. Latest on Kim Kardashian. Yeah. She's hands on with the Tesla bot in a bizarre photo shoot.
Adam Carolla
How's the robot go? Can any of us buy a Tesla robot? Or is it a Kim Kardashian thing.
Chris Myers
30 grand.
Jason Mayhem Miller
30 grand? Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Is it 30 grand?
Chris Myers
Yeah. They do homework, housework. Sorry, I'm Chinese.
Jason Mayhem Miller
But what I thought was like they did this whole show out at the Disney Studios or whatever, some Universal Studios backlot or something where they had all the robots come out, but there were like people driving those robots behind the scenes. It wasn't automated whatsoever. So it was like a big kind of weird fu to everybody. Oh, we have a autonomous robot, but it was like a dude in India driving it with the Xbox controller.
Chris Myers
Hong Kong, I'm free, but not really free.
Adam Carolla
Exactly. So it's Kardashian. It's just another sort of publicity grab is everything.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, she's super into everything Elon makes and she's really like playing that, I guess. They did the photo shoot, the Tesla Cyber Cab.
Adam Carolla
Aha.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. Here she is opposing with some of it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And the.
Chris Myers
And how is she squatting? It looks very weird.
Adam Carolla
The robot is in the Cyber Cab.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's very strange at this whole future that we live in where. I don't know, I didn't think Kardashian would still be such a big thing. But it's that thing where girls have kept it going.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Like it feeds upon itself. Women get. They still like her extra first.
Adam Carolla
No, I listen. It'd be like somebody saying the hock to a girl is going to be around in 30 years. Every bit as famous as she is now. You just go, what the fuck? The Kardashians are like the over under on these guys are four months. Nobody's going to care what these are up to five years from now. No, I was wrong. They're richer and more powerful than they were before.
Chris Myers
The umpire, they just like the amazing family value. They just. It doesn't matter what shit they are saying, they just stick together and that just made them stronger. They help each other and they got richer and famous and more rich.
Adam Carolla
We're back to the Subaru made with love and the Jaguar made with transvestites versus the numbers and the statistics. They don't do anything and we don't care. It used to be you had to do something for us to care. You had to provide something.
Jason Mayhem Miller
But you also got to think that nobody really wants to do that job of nothing, just be the hot chick. And that whole family specked into that once they had enough money to self.
Chris Myers
Perpetuate as the hot chick.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Chloe's the hot chick.
Chris Myers
No, she's not.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, really?
Adam Carolla
Who's the hot chick?
Chris Myers
She's hot now.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, There you go.
Chris Myers
Yeah. Money.
Adam Carolla
Oh, she had the work done.
Chris Myers
Yeah, she had a lot of work done.
Adam Carolla
Kendall's the hot one.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Fun.
Chris Myers
Yeah, she's hot.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Chris Myers
I mean, they are pretty.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
So it's like they're pretty enough to keep this fame thing rolling, and then they got E on board at some point in their life. I don't know. It's really fascinating to see that they defied the odds and they're. They were the hawk to it.
Chris Myers
Yeah. I think Kris Jenner is very smart. Yeah, that's what I mean. She's. She's smart.
Jason Mayhem Miller
She had enough money to keep this.
Chris Myers
Fame, industrial work, all the money. Right. Bruce Jenner exercising money. And it came with sex tape money.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yep. Sex tape money. And then. But also before that, the dad had. Their biological father had a bunch of money.
Chris Myers
Yeah. O.J.
Adam Carolla
Money.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Exactly. O.J.
Adam Carolla
Do you think the mom willingly promoted the sex tape?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, no, she did. That's, like, in the backdrop.
Adam Carolla
See, I can't. I know I can't bring myself to think that way, so I never believe it. Cause I'm like, who would do that with their daughter? Come on. But you guys know she can turn. How do you know that? How do we know?
Chris Myers
She just. She. She. She has a stomach. She just does.
Jason Mayhem Miller
No, there was some type of thing that. What I'm talking about was there's some type of documentary or something where in the back, like, they had a call of her casually referencing the Ray J tape. Like, oh, yeah, well, we're gonna. She negotiated that. The release of that with a wicked. I think. Or one of those.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. So she. That was part. She was part of that.
Adam Carolla
All right, Joe, does that Trans Am thing exist? Because it's got to be online because I got the papers.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
A little bit confusing to me. But it says best lap time in.
Zhao Ying Summers
2017 for the Trans AMS minute 20 seconds.
Adam Carolla
But it says the average speed was 95 miles an hour for the motorcycles. We said, what, 122 or something like that? Yeah. Who was the guy who put it on that pole? Was that.
Zhao Ying Summers
That was Drizzy.
Adam Carolla
Tommy Driesy.
Zhao Ying Summers
Driesy.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So Tommy Driesy won the race in a Corvette, and I came in third in a Corvette. And we're doing the same lap times basically through the race because he was the same distance in front of me. He's a good dude, by the way. Super nice guy. So average speed, 95 miles an hour for you guys. Average speed of the motorcycles, 108. But same lap times. Well, a Little slower lap times. So then just work because what it is. So here's how it'll work. The Corvettes will have a higher top speed on the straightaway, but slower a little through the corner. When people go, oh, you average 95 miles an hour, average 95. But there's eight turns, you're turning a lot. There's slow turns on that track. So averaging 95 means you're hauling ass because you come down to 45 miles an hour on some of the turns. But then how do you average 108 and then top five in your race? All averaged in the 95 mile an hour zone. Guy who took 14th average 101.
Zhao Ying Summers
So there's.
Adam Carolla
I'm assuming there's best lap. Probably. Maybe the guy came in 14th. What was his name?
Zhao Ying Summers
Cook. In a Camaro.
Adam Carolla
Oh, man, you know the best. You know the guy, you know the guy I won is my dad. The guy came in second in that race. What was that guy's name? That's the guy. One is my dad. Wall. Yeah, Walls, his last name. Right. This guy's down at Willow Springs in the. He's down at Willow Springs in the high desert and he's down there racing his AC Cobra, his Shelby Cobra in a vintage race. And he goes down there and they're doing the vintage race like on a Friday or Thursday, whatever. And then the pro Trans Am race is on the. In the afternoon or whatever it is. And this dude comes in there and he's got his vintage Cobra and he. And he either crashes it or the engine blows up or something blows up and his week of racing is over. But instead of going home, he walks over to my pit area. Semi, big, semi truck with the big awning and all the techs and all the scales and all the computers and the engine guys. It's a big, big to do. And this guy like walks over and he goes, well, you got a backup car here? I'm driving the main car. And I guess they had a backup car. And he goes, what's it going to take to get in the backup car for the professional race? And they're like 50 grand. And he's like, all right, let's do it. And I'm like. And then he comes in second, one ahead of me and one behind. I want this. Can you imagine if this guy was your dad? Takes his fucking million dollar Cobra to do a race. The car breaks and he's. But he still wants to race that weekend. So he walks over to a professional Trans Am team and he goes, what's it going to take and, like, $50,000. All right.
Chris Myers
Wow.
Adam Carolla
There's no prize money if you win the race.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
You just wanted to race that weekend.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I hear you. The competitive spirit. I like that. You got the money. Burn that money.
Adam Carolla
I guess he did, man. Guy, I want to fucking have a beer with that. With that guy was. We have facts, some facts about Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner said on the Late Late show with James Corden that she did not promote the sex tape. And it was on lie detector. And she passed. Oh, wow. Polygraph and passed. Ray J says that her and that she picked from three different sex dates. Watch them all and pick the one that she wanted.
Jason Mayhem Miller
That's what I heard.
Chris Myers
I choose to believe the black man.
Adam Carolla
He always got. Always bet on black. Listen, all you have to do in this modern society is look around. Well, really, all you have to do is get divorced to just hear people lie and lie and lie. People now just lie. Like, Jussie Smollett just got his case acquitted or whatever it is he did. And he's sticking with the. He's with this story. He's with the. Like, these fucking MAGA guys came out of the dark and got me in a headlock. We're just on. It's just on now in the lying department, right? It's Ray J. I don't know who it is, but it was.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It was me that got small A with my buddy.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you got it.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I got him. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You and your Nigerian buddy.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes.
Adam Carolla
All right. I. I just. Everyone lies. Yeah, everyone just. Everyone just lies all day, every day. That's all. That's all it is. I. I don't. I don't know what to believe anymore because everybody just lies. That's it.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It was like that always, though. Or maybe now we know because there's so many different point of view everybody can corroborate.
Adam Carolla
I don't think everyone lied this much.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's a new.
Adam Carolla
Not into cameras, not into microphones. No, I don't think they did. I just don't. It's all out the window. Well, we used to have religion, and religion would prevent you from doing certain things. That's why we invented religion only to.
Chris Myers
Have, like, you know, lawyers and politicians lie. Not everybody lies because there's just so much.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We're all politicians now because we all have to maintain an image on our social media.
Chris Myers
Yeah, social media.
Adam Carolla
Oh, they don't care. You can go into court with them, they can be sworn in. They can talk about perjury. So so, guys, help me guide the truth. Not the truth. Oh, sorry. We shouldn't talk over each other. What I'm saying, but go ahead. What were you saying?
Chris Myers
I actually mean Buddha. So if I say God help me, it doesn't really matter.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Buddhist. Buddhists over you.
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So I only know him as an incense holder.
Chris Myers
He's fat, so he likes to eat.
Adam Carolla
They used to have a lot of Buddha incense holders out here.
Chris Myers
They used to.
Adam Carolla
Is that blasphemous? It wouldn't work with Allah. Yeah, they'd get angry.
Chris Myers
Buddha just eat and smile. He doesn't care. You can believe in whoever you want to believe. He wants people to be happy and eat. Just eat and be happy and don't judge other people's religion.
Adam Carolla
So Kris Jenner took a polygraph test and passed. So I would tend to believe her more than Ray J.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Or she's just a sociopath. They can pass those real easy, I guess.
Adam Carolla
And she may be or just popped out on pills.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Super Xanaxed out. Just completely calm heart rate.
Adam Carolla
I don't know what the batting average is on the lie detector. I think the lie detector is more about do people agree to take it or not. And when they don't agree to take it, that suggests a certain degree of guilt.
Chris Myers
Yeah. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Because we'd think differently about O.J. if he was like, I'll take a lie detector.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I'll do it live on tv. Let's get it going. Like, you'd go, oh, well, maybe he didn't kill his wife then. Right? All right. Chris Meyer, the veteran sports anchor and broadcaster and guy I've been watching on TV for a million years, is going to join us via Zoom. I should give some plugs out. Ice House. Zhao Ying is going to be there. That'll be December 5th. Coming up, stand up comedy in. But Bellflower, by the way, it's called Stand. Sorry, the Stand Up Comedy Club. Is that what it's called in Bellflower?
Chris Myers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I've never been there.
Chris Myers
It's too small for you.
Adam Carolla
Okay, That'll be. So are you, babe. That'll be December. That'll be December 21st. Where do we go? Ja Ying for all your dates.
Chris Myers
Summers. Comedy.com.
Adam Carolla
Summers. Comedy. Not Zhao Ying. Summers.
Chris Myers
It's the same thing. Go to the same one, but nobody can spell.
Adam Carolla
That's what I'm saying. I think Summers.
Chris Myers
Comedy.com is all right.
Adam Carolla
And comedy after Summers.
Chris Myers
Yes.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, take a break. Talk to Chris Myers, sports commentating legend, right after this. Oh, oh, O'Reilly. Auto Parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts is in the business of keeping your car on the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and parts and knowledge that you're going to need to maintain and do the repairs yourself. I've always used O'Reilly. I've used to hit the one up on Foothill when I was in La Crescento renting a house, keeping that Isuzu Trooper on the road. And they got thousands of parts and accessories and stock either in their store or online. So you have, well, you don't have to worry. If you're in a jam, you can go online and get your stuff. You can go into a store and get your stuff. The team at O'Reilly Auto Parts can test your battery for free in or out of your car, which is nice because sometimes it's tough to get those babies out of the car. You need your windshield wipers replaced, brake light fixed or a quick service? Well, they'll help you find the right part or point you to the nearest local repair shop as well and get help there. Whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you're going to find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, they're friendly. The professional parts people at O'Reilly O'Reilly Auto Parts, one stop shop for everything, especially if you're a do it yourselfer for your car in store. Online, you can stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts and do it today or Visit us online. O'Reilly Auto.com Adam that's O'Reilly Auto.com Adam.
Chris Myers
Pluto TV is a place for movie fans like me and TV fans like me. They've got something for everyone and it's free.
Adam Carolla
I love free.
Chris Myers
And I love Jersey Shore. For me, it's the Godfather, SpongeBob SquarePants. I am Patrick.
Adam Carolla
Patrick is me.
Chris Myers
Oh, Forrest Gump. Come on, criminal minds solving crime after bedtime. Whatever you love to watch. Pluto TV makes it easy with thousands of free movies and shows. Pluto TV Stream now, pay never.
Adam Carolla
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Chris Myers
In the California roadtrip Republic, we believe you take adventure for a ride. Whether coastal cruisin'mountain, motoring, or redwood roaming. Discover beauty around every turn. Your road trip can kick off from anywhere starting route, but it should always start@VisitCalifornia.com then buckle up, crank those tunes, and discover why California is the ultimate playground.
Adam Carolla
Here's a memorable moment from the Adam Carolla Show's ACE Awards archives.
Zhao Ying Summers
Hey, I have a question. I see a lot of people sending us voice messages.
Adam Carolla
Is there any way we can listen.
Zhao Ying Summers
To those on the stereo app here?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I think we can.
Zhao Ying Summers
That'd be very interesting to me. There's a whole like 30 messages according to my.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. Chris is saying something. I don't know what he's saying. If you're just tuning in, we are live coast to coast on stereo. Now. Can we play one of these things? Poop. Dildo. Never forget.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, okay. We can do it.
Adam Carolla
We got poop. Dildo. All right. Now for some new memorable moments, let's get back to the Adam Carolla Show. Chris Meyer's legendary sportscaster and commentator, I should say, is via Zoom. He's joining us. That deserves a wow. Is the name of the book. It's available now, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and wherever you find finer books, because that was from my childhood. Good to see you, Chris.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, good to see you. Good to be on with you.
Adam Carolla
So you've been there. Super Bowls and NBA Finals and World Series and NASCAR and seen it all. And the book chronicles some crazy sports stories like. Like the earthquake in San Francisco, the 89 World Series OJ that the live cutting to the live chase, the Richard Jewell Atlanta Olympics bombing and all that. And your perspective on it. So what is sort of the most compelling out of those for you?
Zhao Ying Summers
Well, I mean, I got into it to do sports covering, you know, to be on the broadcast of a Super Bowl. And so chasing down Tom Brady right after that great comeback when they beat Atlanta. And on the live interview in the moment was. Those are special when the Red Sox ended the World Series curse and came back against the Yankees. And to have covered that. But it's those unexpected moments. You just ran through some of them. And there were other moments along the way. Having interviewed a range of athletes, Ali to Tyson. Ali was my first interview. I was a teenager and. And his first radio interview at age 16. And you know, I mean you can talk about Montana and Elway and Mahomes, but. But I think the one that people always talk about is the O.J. simpson interview that you touched on because it was the first live interview. I was doing the up close show out here in LA that Roy Firestone started. That was half hour one on one interview show. And it was the first live interview after both. Not only the double murder trial, but the wrongful death suit where he was found liable and was supposed to have payment there. And I think she turned Barbara Walters down because she would only tape it. He was worried somebod would tape it and edit it and make it more guilty, believe it or not, but. But he wanted to come on here alive because he thought I was fair. And there was some controversy about whether we should do it or not as a sports show, but we did it. And then that's the one of the things that people talk about. And I kind of take a deeper dive into that, what he was like in and around that interview and afterwards. Which tells you more about the kind of, I don't know, kind of guy he was, the kind of just believing in his own lie type of thing.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he seemed really sociopathic and narcissistic in that, that it didn't bother him. And I thought he thought of himself as that way, at least from watching the docs I've seen on him. Hey, a quick technical question because it was only bothering me the other night when I was watching Monday Night Football. You're up in the booth and these announcers have the name of the guy as fast as the play is happening, the, the flanker that caught the quick look in and the defender who was on top of him. And I'm like, they have spotters, they have to have spotters. Are they in your ear? Is it that fast? I mean, because it's really real time almost now.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes. And we do have spotters. Not only is there a producer in our ear to back us up, although he has other traffic, so to speak, or on the headset, but. But we have a board. I don't. I don't have one for the next game I'm doing. But it has all the numbers. Colleges, height, weight. We put our own notes in, and then we have a spotter, along with a stat guy who brings the stats up right away, but he's sitting there with binoculars and a pointer. So that if I'm late to a guy or I tell you who made the catch, he'll point and tell you who made the tackle. Or if I'm having trouble finding out who recovered the ball, he's got. He can point to it. And so we've kind of got backups to backups. Now. You do have to memorize certain numbers when you do different games each week. But, yes, that's. We do have help calling that off. And some. Some broadcasters in the booth, I don't have one necessarily, but they have their own editorial guy who hands them certain notes about history, references. When things come up, and they casually. This is their skill, Adam. They casually blend it in as if they were there or they remember it. But that's kind of the art of calling a game.
Adam Carolla
You ever have one of those spotters get drunk or go south and throw out a name like Dick Gobbler or something like that, you know, just to Ron Burgundy, you know?
Zhao Ying Summers
But I have had. They don't have to be drugged to do it. They have been hungover a little. They have. They have missed a day where they'll point. And I'm like, well, if I can't rely on you, then, you know, go home, go away type type of thing. But in your ears. Sometimes we do hear something. Well, they. Some of the producers like to make a comment about a guy's neighbors that you could never say on the air. Right. On a network broadcast. And you're. If you. So if you hear a quiet chuckle, it's. Sometimes they'll give you a good line to use if you're. If you're not coming up with something. But when they do that. Yeah, you gotta. You gotta edit yourself. Especially in today's. Well, I guess we're not so much in a cancel era anymore. But that was always. It's always a fear when you're calling a game and you're. You're live for three hours with all kinds of things going on. And a guy with you, an analyst, who may make remarks or comments as well.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I think a Canadian commentator just got in trouble because he was talking about a female athlete, something.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, yeah, no, that was on the Tennis Channel. John Wertheim, who does 60 Minutes and who's a very. A very good. Obviously not always a writer, a sports writer, but he was making a comment off Mike about some of the female players, a part of their. I think it might have been their foreheads or something. And that got on the air. Right. And they. Yeah. So he apologized quickly. I mean, it wasn't anything. You know, obviously it was. It was offensive, but. But I. I don't know. I. I don't think he's been fired over that. I think he did apologize. But you've got to always assume when you're in that booth, even before you're on, you gotta assume the microphone is on or somebody's recording something on a satellite somewhere. I. I had a situation, Adam. I'm doing a game in Tampa where it's Buccaneers and It's, you know, 90 degrees. The booth's overheating. And because we leave the windows open and I drink a lot of iced tea. I have one here, whatever. That's what I live on the caffeine right with. So I was joking at a break. They're like, somebody, hey, you need a refill? And I held up what was left of the iced tea. I said, yeah, give me another bourbon. All right. It's just going down well, something like that. Anyway, it was off the air that somebody captured it got on the air all of a sudden, all over the social media. Myers drinking during the game with bourbon. It didn't seem to impair him at all. So maybe that's why he has the boy. It was that. So I learned my lesson there.
Adam Carolla
Well, I think famously, Howard Cosell and maybe Dandy Dunn would have a pop or two on the Monday Night Football, especially during the winter in Buffalo kind of thing. I thought it made, you know, I mean, like, they go, oh, it's just bar talk or guys having a few beers and talking about, like. So he's having a few beers, having a conversation. I'm like, yeah, well, the beers act as a social lubricant. Sometimes I would rather have Howard Cosell on a cocktail than a 10am Totally sober Howard Cosell to listen to. But you interviewed Muhammad Ali as your first interview at 16.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, I got into it. I got out of a radio station in Miami beach, the Noble Arthur Godfrey Road, back in that area where I used to call in as my Chris from Miami. And then I would disguise my voice and call back as Duke from North Miami. And I'd get on the air more before I had my license. So they invited me down there one time, fan night before. Anyway, they hired me on weekends to do this. I thought they were going to tell me to beat it for not being as honest as I should have been. But anyway, the sports reporter behind the scene, he, the director had, couldn't make it. And he says, hey, can you real quick, you need to go over to the Fountain Blue Hotel, Ali's training or having a press conference for a fight coming up, and take your tape recorder, just ask some questions. We need to get it on the show, and I can't make it. So I had to leave my humanities class and for Hollywood, I drove down there and stuck. I was in the 70s, had the long hair and the big recorder, tape recorder. And I just asked him a question about. And all the old school writers with the press hats, these seasoned journalists smoking cigars. But I just asked him something about the fight. Exactly. Something like, hey, you're not as dumb as you look, kid. And he went on to answer. He was nice to me, although I was. I don't know if my question was all that good, but it was a cool thing for the first interview. And so I kind of thought after that, boy, this is something I really would like to do. And coming from a big family, always interviewing people, a fan of Johnny Carson, watching his show, growing up, later meeting him, which was a cool moment. So that. That was kind of the first taste of it. And so I never. I won't say never, but I didn't want to be intimidated by. By famous athletes when I at least wanted to talk to them. So that was. Yeah, that was a kick. When I look back on it at the time, Adam, I didn't realize. Yeah, he's the greatest. But didn't realize the magnitude of an interview like that.
Adam Carolla
So Is this like 79, 78?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. Yeah. In that ballpark, I'm a little older than you. You made it sound like you've been watching me forever. But we're in the same place.
Adam Carolla
Started at 15 and a half. Give me a break. So Ali's getting ready to fight. Who was he getting ready to fight?
Zhao Ying Summers
You know, I don't remember offhand. It's. It's in the book. Because it was. And I wish I had the. Because they put it on a reel to Reel tape. And I saved a lot of that stuff when I was going back to, to piece this together. But it was, it was not a big, it was not a big name. But. But Ali at the time was such a story that whoever he was fighting. But you know, he used to train at the 5th street gym with Angelo Dundee down in their Miami beach. So. So, yeah, it wasn't too far from where I grew up.
Adam Carolla
How'd you get Bill Murray? What's the Bill Murray connection for the forward?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, he. Well, there's other stories about him in there. Some humorous, some are. Are where he helped me out in situations. A very tender, sensitive side of. Of Bill. I got to know him. I've known him for 30 years. Early 90s, was on the first or second ESPY awards, doing that with. I was at ESPN 10 years before Fox Sports and we kind of hit it off. Big family. A very astute sports fan, obviously sense of humor. I really admire comics growing up, they just like interviewers. So we hung out a little bit, went to a baseball game and golfed at his charity event and then stayed in touch. And you know, he did the funny story there when I was in New York, in Manhattan, covering something for the company, even ESPN at the time, and it was an off day. And so he said, why don't you come up to the house over on the Hudson river, this place? I said, bill, I don't have a car and I only have part of the day. He's like, I'll send a car for you. Just come by and say hi. So he sends this long. This giant white stretch limo and, and I get in and it drives me. And as I'm pulling into his driveway, he's video recording. As I step out, he says, hey, this is how, you know espn. This is how Chris spends per diem. Don't fall for it. You know, he lives a life of luxury, you know, that, that kind of stuff. So. And then since then, you know, we, we would stay. We would stay in touch. Got to know his brothers. They're. They're all a fun people. And there's a, you know, a sign of him. He's. He's not easy to get a hold of, but he says he does something, he'll. He'll do it. I really appreciate it. Not only him writing that, but just the friendship over the years. He's the kind of guy I'd want to hang out with even if he wasn't famous.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I was watching for some reason, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation or Something last night. And I forgot that Bill Murray's brother played the boss of Chevy Chase in that movie and that his brother did a lot of acting. I don't know if there's a third brother that does acting. There's Doyle Murray, I guess, right?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. There's Brian Doyle Murray, who is big on Caddyshack, kind of the co writer. It does a lot of animated voices. You'll hear him on like, you know, the old reruns of that. And then there's, there's Joel Murray who was, he was briefly on Suits and a few other sitcoms and. And what's that thing? Whose Line Is It Anyway? He used to do some of that stuff, I think. And then John Murray the Younger. It's a, it's a, it's a big family, so. But they're all fun, you know, they're all very creative and they're all, you know, again, fun to hang out with. That was one of the things I learned. And Adam, you'll relate to this since the age range. There was a movie in the. I don't know if you remember this movie. It went great. It was called Perfect with Trivulgia.
Adam Carolla
Yes, yes.
Zhao Ying Summers
And there's a line in there about talking about being intimidated with famous people. And I forget how it was said, but something along the line.
Adam Carolla
Jamie Lee Curtis.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes, there you go. And they say, yeah, there you go. When she was hot, right? And they say, no offense. Yeah, that, that he learned to treat a famous person or she says it a famous person like a regular person and the regular person like a famous person. And, and that works out to get people comfortable to talk. So that kind of stuck with me when I was younger about doing interviews in, in those situations, even when I first met Bill Murray, you know, just like, you know, the Muhammad Ali interview.
Adam Carolla
Perfect is quietly one of the most 80s movies ever.
Zhao Ying Summers
How about the workout clothes?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. It's insane that for like a four year period in this country's history, we became completely obsessed with aerobic workout, jazzercise, whatever. And I get it, it's good looking women wearing tight fitting stuff. But, but to be taken over like a tsunami. There was a video, there is a video series called five Minute Workout. It had the women on a turntable doing all kinds of positions and kicks. They made a movie about jazzercise. I get it. Some people lift, some people row, some people take hot yoga. But we didn't all just become obsessed with one form of exercise that wasn't even really. It was like, it's Essentially running in place. Yeah, I wasn't. I didn't even know really what it was. And it became very important, and everyone was very earnest about it.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And that movie. 83.
Zhao Ying Summers
82, I think 85, mid-80s, but yeah. Remember the headband? You had to have.
Adam Carolla
You had to have the headband, you had to have the leggings. You had to have the leg warmers, but they're really just shin warmers. It's 80 degrees inside the club, and you're running in place for an hour. What do you need warm shins for?
Zhao Ying Summers
You're right.
Adam Carolla
What did the shin warmers do for you?
Zhao Ying Summers
It popped up. And they were. And they would pop up, like in, you know, these balls in the corner or whatever, you know, these strip malls, and all of a sudden there's a, you know, an aerobics place or whatever you want to call the jazz and the clothes. Yeah, it was. It was a serious trend. I don't know why that stuck with me. I maybe just, you know, was lonely and flipping through and saw the movie or something.
Adam Carolla
85.
Zhao Ying Summers
It was 85.
Adam Carolla
It was like, John Travolta is a Rolling Stone reporter, and he's got to infiltrate a jazzercise class and talk to the hottest chick on the planet. All 80s movies were about attitude.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You know, she had a lot of attitude. He had a lot of attitude. At some point, love would be found.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. And I don't think they. You know, Adam, I don't have to interrupt, but I don't think they sweated a lot with.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, no, I think there would. There would be a little spray sweat on, fake sweat where it kind of beads up in a weird way. Nobody sweats that way that evenly. You got a little missed shot from the makeup department before the close up with the conversation about being the best. And also, it was a lot about being the best. The best what? Jazzercise dancer, like runner and placer aerobics. I got to see the trailer now.
Zhao Ying Summers
No, I was just saying you make me want to.
Adam Carolla
I want to see.
Zhao Ying Summers
Is that like the. Is that like the pickleball of now? I mean.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Yeah. Except for. I would say that it was even more inclusive because pickleball doesn't have a sexy connotation to it. It has kind of an elderly connotation to it. Whereas the aerobics class were just super hot chicks with tons of attitude wearing leg warmers. I don't know. Let's watch it.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, you got something?
Adam Carolla
I think we got. I think we got the clip. I'M glad I met you. And I'm sorry I met you. I'm glad that you're glad you met me. But I'm sorry that you're sorry you met me. Yeah, there we go. Travolta, I would gladly take one of your aerobic classes if you let me interview you. I was really beginning to like you, too. Good looking people. How many times a year do you fall in love, Adam? Depends on the subject. Oh, yeah, a lot of thrusting.
Zhao Ying Summers
Rolling Stone.
Adam Carolla
Working on two different stories.
Chris Myers
I don't think you understand. I might want you to be the.
Adam Carolla
Focus of my story.
Zhao Ying Summers
She's one of them.
Chris Myers
I don't think you understand.
Adam Carolla
I don't want to be the focus of anything. Yeah. The only problem is she doesn't want to cooperate. But she will. It should be called Dry Hump.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. The Elvic Thrust is too much.
Zhao Ying Summers
There's the headband.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. The government could put pressure on you, too. They can send you to jail. I'm gonna watch it.
Zhao Ying Summers
It's a risk I'll have to take, isn't it?
Adam Carolla
I read that you wrote about me. My only explanation is everyone was high on coke. That's the only reason we made these movies. Right, everyone?
Zhao Ying Summers
The only line I took for that was about famous. Treating people famous.
Adam Carolla
All right, I'm watching this.
Zhao Ying Summers
Funny stuff.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Dawson
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Chris Myers
In the California road trip Republic, we believe you take adventure for a ride. Whether coastal cruising, mountain motoring, or redwood roaming. Discover beauty around every turn. Your road trip can kick off from.
Adam Carolla
Anywhere starting route, but it should always.
Chris Myers
Start@Visitcalifornia.Com then buckle up, crank those tunes, and discover why California is the ultimate playground.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, I think I was gonna say if I get it, I can just shamelessly plug the book because it's about sports. But if. If you took the movie, and I know you can. Almost famous, right? Which was one of my favorites, right, Cameron? Throw. And you took a Little bit of Forrest Gump. And you combine those with a sports theme. That's kind of what, you know, at least I didn't have that in mind, but somebody brought that up. We were talking about there to cover certain sporting events and then other things happen. So. And you're placed around some, you know, interesting famous people, whether it's Tyson or an Ali or whatever, or some of those type of things. But I, I had a Mike Tyson fought recently, Adam. And it's funny, I had a nearby, a beat up experience with him when I interviewed him when he first got out of prison. This was probably early 2000, where I went to his house to interview him. And I was going through Sports Illustrated covers having him talk about his career. And when I got to the holy field ear biting, he flipped out. And he lunged at me and called and said I was trying to provoke him. He's pressing me. I mean, he got this close to my face and he has a swimming pool of it. But thankfully, one of the guys he trains with and his bodyguard quickly hooked him and got him before he snapped me in half. And I just, you know, the cameras were always. Just said, hey, we'll just. If you don't want to answer, just tell me and we'll leave. And he's like, no, no, stay, stay, I'll finish. And then he wanted to give me a tour of the house. And it was, it was a weird moment that I talk about in the book, because watching him fight the other night, which I thought was kind of sad, but hey, if people want to do that, fine. But those are the kinds of things, you know, you're placed in those situations and you think you're in sports to have fun and they pop up, which is a little scary. But it was worth the interview.
Adam Carolla
Tyson, I went to his home and interviewed him once as well.
Zhao Ying Summers
How'd that go?
Adam Carolla
He didn't try to attack me, but I did have a funny conversation. I remember a very funny conversation. I said, mike, you seem to be sort of in better spirits and more positive. He has had times when he looks like an old blues singer who's 70 years old, and then you'll see him again and he's popping, he's live on his feet, you know, and he has like a different attitude and a different headspace. So anyway, I said to him, what's the difference now? And he goes, I'm sober now. I don't do anything. And I go, oh, so you don't drink? He goes, I don't drink. And I go, no, no coke. No coke, no pills, no nothing. No pot. And he goes, wait a minute. I was like. It was like, literally out of a sitcom, you know, so. So I think he's more California sober, as they call it. Yeah. I was thinking about that Brady win against Atlanta. Atlanta, who's never won a Super bowl and may have cursed themselves not to win one for another few decades. And the way they lost that game and how they could have won that game so easily. But really, when I think about it, I think about the Patriots winning the coin toss and how that game ended without. How the super bowl ended without the other team touching the ball, which seemed like a bad idea, but it also was very. It was very Patriots at the time. When a team gets on a roll, they not only control what they control, but they win the battles. They can't control the coin tosses, the tuck rules. Like, magically, you know, for a team to be a dynasty, they need to get a little pixie dust and have the coin tosses and the tuck rules and other things go their way. Other teams make mistakes, bad calls. Like, doesn't it seem like it's not just X's and O's for the dynasties? There has to be a little magic.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, no, it's a great. And I think we've seen it with the Kansas City Chiefs and Mahomes. Right. We're taking away because they're prepared and they're talented. But you're right, there's little things. And that's what I noticed in that game on that sideline at halftime. And having worked that. And Bill Belichick, you know, being as, you know, stoic as he is, or at least as difficult to chat with. But. But that. They didn't. We overused panic in sports.
Adam Carolla
But.
Zhao Ying Summers
But they. They kind of. There was a calm even when it was 28 to 3 here. And we're getting to the second half. But. But the point to follow up, Adam, as they do their thing, these teams, to have the. It does force the other team, they start to react differently. It's like, they're good. Here we go again. They're so good that if we make this mistake, they're going to take advantage. And they do. And that's a trait of sports teams, whether it's baseball, basketball, or in this case, the NFL. Yes. To have success at the highest level and keep it going, that's what you have to have. I think things fall into place.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I was recently. KC lost to a real, very good Buffalo Bills team. But they have in the Dynasty, magic department. They are the ones now winning the coin tosses and getting the calls and having, I guess you just call it sort of momentum meets pixie dust. But that's what it takes to be a dynasty.
Chris Myers
Who.
Adam Carolla
And Belichick is weird because now all of a sudden Belichick's kind of a chatty Kathy with a 24 year old gymnast girlfriend. He starts off like George Foreman and he ends up like George Foreman. George Foreman was menacing, man. A few words, let his fist do the talking, scowl, bad mood. Then he became everyone's sort of gregarious uncle and he's selling grills and laughing and eating cheeseburgers and stuff. You know, I would say that Belichick is kind of going the George Foreman arc here, wouldn't you?
Zhao Ying Summers
Interesting comparison, but I do agree that he went from a guy. Look, he was very, very good at his job, right? Hall of Fame credentials, the super bowl, but he wasn't easy to be around to interview him or to talk to him. He didn't show a lot of personality outwardly. And then he retires. You know, he's in his mid-70s or forced to retire because he still wants to coach and break Don Shula's all time record. But he's turned into this. I mean, he's enjoyable to watch. Not only talk football, but a sense of personality, a sense of humor. His knowledge comes out. And there's a couple other guys, you know, there are people like that. You know, Bob Knight did that. He was rough on the media, but then of course he, when TV came around, he did that. So yeah, it's interesting that Belichick, because he, everybody said if you know him and he likes to go to concerts and he's fun this way. And I'm like, boy, I just hope we're covering all the Super Bowls through the years. Haven't seen it, but maybe we're seeing it now. But he still wants to coach again and he may get a chance, at least with all the jobs it'll be opening up.
Adam Carolla
Could it. I don't mean to pick on Belichick, but it was always the question, is it Brady, is it Belichick who's responsible for all these wins? And then at some point Brady goes to Tampa Bay and it's like, well, I guess now we're going to find out. And Brady gets a ring over there at Tampa Bay and the Patriots fall off quite, quite greatly. And so it did seem to hurt Belichick's, you know, tarnish him to some degree. And I don't think it could have gone any worse for Belichick if he was kind of, I guess if he was being magnanimous, he'd go, well, Brady can go to Tampa, have a couple of 500 seasons, maybe make the first round of the playoffs before they get beat, and I'll. I'll go 10 and 7 over here and we'll call the day. But him winning a Super bowl and them really falling off a cliff over at New England, that had to hurt the legacy a little bit.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, no, I think, I think it did. In fact, Bill Belichick, the inside story goes from the Patriots is that Belichick was trying to move on from Brady a little earlier, you know, as they did so often with other players who were very talented and great contributors but got to a certain age. But Brady outlived all that to be the greatest quarterback of all time. And to me, yeah, maybe Belichick wins a Super bowl or two without Brady, but Brady did win one without him on all of those with him. So, I mean, he's the, you know, he was absolutely the difference maker in that regard. I don't think there's any question about that.
Adam Carolla
What's Belichick got to get to Don Shula's record?
Zhao Ying Summers
He's not that far away. I think he can do it in two seasons if he has a pretty good team and it's the all time win record. And Don Shula, may he rest in peace, who had the only perfect season. Right. Winning a Super bowl was not, you know, he was not real happy with Belichick the way some of the rules, you know, the spying incident, nothing was ever really proven, but. But he thought that Belichick went a little bit beyond what the game allowed at times. I had to interview Belichick just like Brady after winning. I had Belichick remember their perfect season when they went to the super bowl and lost to the Giants, One of the two losses to the Giants. And I had that sideline and I thought they were going to win, I mean, because they were the Patriots. Yeah, ye. And they're required after at least with the network broadcast to do an interview and you try to get them live right away, respectfully, even in defeat, as opposed to victory, like I had with Brady. But he didn't want to. He didn't want to do it. I mean, he was almost like, and I'm going to play therapist for a moment and not to pick out it, but it was almost like the kid, you know, the little league kid who wins every game as a Pitcher and, you know, and then he suffers his first defeat and he doesn't know how to act. I mean, that's how Bill was. People thought he was rude. I just felt he was kind of shocked. And one word answers in that interview, I think you can see it on YouTube, just like the OJ interview or whatever, if you want to check it out. If I talk a little bit about that in the book. So sometimes it's difficult whether. Whether guys have kind of been grumpy or not. You try to respect their space, but, you know, you got to ask the questions of the situation that the viewers want.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I mean, that game was so improbable and the Patriots were going for a perfect season and were, you know, I was going to say, seemed unbeatable. They were unbeatable. They run the table and they look dominant. And the giants started off Owen 2, almost 03 that season, if not a goal line move. And Eli Manning seemed about half the quarterback of Brady at that, at that stage. And when they won that game, it was miraculous. And I was over at Jimmy Kimmel's house and I may have had a couple beers, but it was with a non. Steve Wozniak was there and handing out $3 bills that he made or something, telling me I could spend them if I needed to, legally. I questioned it. Kathy Griffin, all the usuals are there. But they weren't sports fans. There were a bunch of like Kathy Griffin, Sarah Silverman, like Woziak, like sitting around. I mean, the Giants won that game again. I had a buzz, but I just stood up and I yelled, what the fuck is wrong with all you people? You should be going nuts. You'd be going nuts right now. Nuts. You hear me not talking amongst yourselves, going insane. This is insane what just happened. And it really was, it was, it.
Zhao Ying Summers
Was a major but. But there's a lot. You know, super bowl parties have become that in a lot of ways. I'm not knocking the die hard super or fantasy league or follow their team. And I know Giant fans were euphoric over that. But it's funny that when I'm not working and I get to go to a Super bowl party, how many people just say, yeah, there's a game. I was, I'm here for the party kind of a thing. It's like, wow, are you watching this game? These, you know, when the, when the Eagles upset the Patriots and you know, the Philly Special, I mean, those moments, right, you're. You're like, I didn't work that game and I'M flipping out of people like, well, he did score, but somebody, the last guy scored. I'm like, yeah, it's not the same thing.
Adam Carolla
But anyway, look, if you throw a Super bowl party and somebody identifies the team by the color, which one's the blue team? Out. Get out. Here's some nachos. Cup your hands. I'll put some chips in your hands and I'll dump a little Velveeta on top of it. And you can stand out in the porch and think about what you just said. How about that? Shula? 328 in the wind department. Belichick 302. So he's going to need three seasons.
Zhao Ying Summers
Not oh yeah, 20. Yeah, so 26. You're right. So he'll need to break it.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Zhao Ying Summers
He didn't want to tie it.
Adam Carolla
He's going to need 27 wins. Right. So he's going to need three seasons. Oh, you know, he makes the playoffs and you know, what, what have you. But, and I guess that's going to count playoffs, right?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, I mean there's regular season wins and playoffs. So the combined stat, I think that one's just the regular season total. Okay, but, but I think the question too is, you know, does Belichick, because Atlanta, the Falcons were close to hiring him before hiring Raheem Morrison. The people in the organization. Wow. But he'll want total control and not even let the owner do what he want. You know, that kind of stuff surfaced. But maybe Bill takes a step back and look, there's some desperate, I mean the Dallas Cowboys, there's a lot of desperate teams out there that may make coaching changes. Two of them already have, you know, with the Saints and the jets for this point of the season. So I think if Bill's not worried about money and he just wants to get in there and if he has a quarterback, I mean that, that could change things dramatically. So it'll be interesting to watch which owners really go for that and make that move to give them that chance to coach again.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, now that he's got a 24 year old gymnast girlfriend waiting for him at home, do not expect the all nighters in the office. And we get there at five in the morning and we don't get out of there until 10 that night. No, he's going to be a little more eager to head out of the office and get back to the house. Chris, always a fan. What a dream. I mean, you basically wanted to do this from jump street and it's essentially all you've ever Done with your life, which is a pretty damn good life, I would assume.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, no, thank you. I'm grateful because you have a dream and you get to live it and enjoy it and evolve as things change. You have to stay with it in the business. But it's been funny. I still am a fan at heart. Love talking to people so it doesn't get old and still doing it and hope to kind of ride off into the sunset either covering or talking about sports and the people in it.
Adam Carolla
Well, it can definitely be, you know, the people who play sports, they're out by 31 and a half, but the people who talk about sports, they make it till their mid-90s, which is ironic because it's like there's such a crazy gap. You know, the people who roof are out when they're 65, but the people who talk about roofers are out when they're 65, too. But this is the guys who play the sports, you know, 26 and a half. Half is when they go. And Vin Scully makes it till he's 97 years old, you know.
Zhao Ying Summers
And do people talk about roofers?
Adam Carolla
I do. I like rumors.
Zhao Ying Summers
Only when you're getting an estimate. When you're getting an estimate. I want to. I want to talk to everyone.
Adam Carolla
You're right. Maybe not the greatest example, but I'm.
Zhao Ying Summers
Saying, well, I know where you were going with that, but you're right, the age range is. And it's. We're fortunate in the business to have that. I don't know if I want to be, you know, that long, but people say, say, you know, retire, enjoy. I enjoy it now. I mean, this is of a fan. I would want to watch or go to the games or talk to the people. So that. That's something I think the true people in our business, you know, they say, follow your passion, but follow your talent, too, because your. Your talent will take you towards having a job. You know, so many other people would have loved to have done this, but it just. Things didn't fall right for them. You do need a little luck along the way, and I do dedicate the book to the people I've worked with and for. Because, as you know, so many people behind the scenes and whether it's production or helping to cover things, they help you do your job, and you couldn't do it without them.
Adam Carolla
The book that deserves a wow. Available right now, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and wherever you find finer books. Chris Myers, thank you so much for joining us.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, anytime. Great talking, always laughing. Enjoy your show. See you Adam.
Adam Carolla
Thanks, Chris. Come back anytime you don't need anything to plug. Come back and say hi. All right, let's see me. Oxnard Levity Live doing stand up. That'll be Friday, 7:00. And then Houston at the Arena Theater up there with Craig Shoemaker and kayvon. That'll be December 6th. And then Phoenix, Hilton, Phoenix, Tapatio Cliffs Resort. Supposed to be pretty amazing to be doing stand up there with Craig shoemaker. That'll be December 7th. Go downcrow.com for all the live shows. Until next time, soundcrow for Chris Myers and challenging summers and mayhem. Say it. Mahala. Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail. The number is 888-634-1744 and get your tickets at Adam Corolla do.
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Summary of The Adam Carolla Show Episode: "Jiaoying Summers Returns + Legendary Sportscaster Chris Myers" (Released November 25, 2024)
In this episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla welcomes back comedian Zhao Ying Summers and introduces legendary sports commentator Chris Myers. The episode promises a mix of humor, candid conversations, and insightful discussions on various topics ranging from personal relationships to societal issues.
Chris Myers opens up about his recent romantic involvement with a man who has a meticulous and perhaps obsessive-compulsive personality.
Origin of the Relationship: Chris met his current partner, Jin, in Austin while Jin was working on his show. Initially, Chris was indifferent despite Jin’s crush on him. However, encouragement from others led Chris to pursue the relationship.
Personality Dynamics:
Challenges in the Relationship:
Chris Myers (03:10): "I have tea to spit."
Adam Carolla (04:20): “Do not let you hold their kids or their babies, you know, if you don’t fucking get deloused to everything.”
Adam and Chris delve into the differences in how men and women are influenced in romantic pursuits.
Influence of Peers:
Cultural Insights: A story from Chinese culture illustrates societal expectations in matchmaking, emphasizing wealth and intelligence, but humorously concludes with a focus on physical attributes.
Adam Carolla (05:14): "Women don't work that way. So if I'm sitting around and there's an unattractive female comedian, not you. And Mayhem comes up to me..."
The hosts discuss a controversial news story involving Brittany Patterson, a mother arrested for letting her 10-year-old son walk alone in Rural Bluff, Georgia.
Incident Overview: Patterson was charged with reckless conduct for allowing her son, Soren, to walk less than a mile alone after a call from concerned authorities. The charges were contingent upon her signing a safety plan, which she refused.
Critique of the Criminal Justice System:
Call for Reduced Government Intervention: Adam advocates for minimal government interference in personal and family matters, questioning the necessity and effectiveness of such legal actions.
Adam Carolla (24:34): "All right, first things first. She didn't say it was your fault. She just said, call the other parent authority and tell them I'm being arrested."
The conversation shifts to experiences with female authority figures, particularly in security roles.
Airport Security Experiences: Adam shares anecdotes about negative interactions with female security personnel, portraying them as overly aggressive and unapproachable.
General Commentary on Female Authority:
Adam Carolla (31:03): "So there are women policing drugs, but messing with them, it just makes it worse. They're going to take it very seriously."
The hosts share humorous and exaggerated stories about interactions with crows and pets.
Chris Myers vs. Crows: Jason Mayhem Miller recounts a battle between his dog, Gator, and a group of crows, leading to his house being overtaken by persistent birds.
Crows' Intelligence and Loyalty: Adam humorously imagines training crows as attack birds, highlighting their intelligence and persistent nature.
Jason Mayhem Miller (49:31): "I had a war with those crows. Oh, my God."
Adam Carolla (50:39): "They recognize your face. I know. When people do crow research, they have to wear a mask so they're not attacked."
Adam introduces and discusses the concept of sink urinals—a device that allows users to pee while brushing their teeth, aiming to conserve water.
Environmental Impact: Adam emphasizes the potential water savings by reducing the use of toilets for urination, especially in drought-prone areas like Southern California.
Implementation Challenges: The conversation explores practical aspects of installing sink urinals, including the need for cold water lines and potential user resistance, particularly from women who might find the concept unhygienic.
Humorous Take on Adoption: The hosts joke about the societal resistance to such innovations, anticipating reluctance from women and positioning it as a forward-thinking solution that is just beginning to gain traction.
Adam Carolla (36:48): "I have been explaining for years into a microphone that I am a sink peer. I pee in sinks of bathrooms."
The episode covers recent news about Jay Leno’s accident involving a fall from a three-wheeled motorcycle.
Details of the Accident: Jay Leno suffered significant facial injuries but continued to perform shortly after recovering, demonstrating resilience and dedication to his craft.
Historical Context: References to Leno’s multiple mishaps, including a garage fire in 2022 and a previous motorcycle crash, emphasizing his tough persona and unwavering commitment to his career.
Audience Reaction: The hosts express admiration for Leno’s ability to maintain his career despite numerous setbacks, portraying him as a humorous and indestructible figure in the entertainment industry.
Adam Carolla (77:34): "Jay Leno is all bruised up. The left side of his face is black and blue..."
Chris Myers shares his experiences and insights from his illustrious career in sports broadcasting.
Interviewing Muhammad Ali: Chris recounts his first interview with Muhammad Ali at age 16, highlighting the challenges and revelations that came from interacting with such a legendary figure.
Broadcasting Techniques: Discusses the technical aspects of live sports broadcasting, including the use of spotters and real-time statistics to keep up with the fast-paced nature of sports events.
Personality Evolution of Series Figures: Reflects on figures like Bill Belichick, comparing his transition from a stern coach to a more personable figure post-retirement.
Behind-the-Scenes Dynamics: Emphasizes the importance of teamwork and the collaborative efforts required in sports broadcasting, acknowledging the support from producers and fellow commentators.
Chris Myers (97:19): "It was a weird moment that I talk about in the book, because watching him fight the other night, which I thought was kind of sad, but hey, if people want to do that, fine."
Adam wraps up the episode by promoting upcoming live shows and events, encouraging listeners to engage with the show’s community through voicemails and social media.
Upcoming Shows: Promotion of live stand-up events in various locations, including Bellflower, Houston, and Phoenix, featuring guest comedians like Craig Shoemaker.
Final Thoughts: The hosts share lighthearted banter about the longevity of careers in sports broadcasting versus athletics, underscoring the enduring nature of sports commentary.
Adam Carolla (131:52): "He's going to need 27 wins. Right. So he's going to need three seasons."
Chris Myers on His New Relationship:
"[03:10] I have tea to spit."
Adam Carolla on Government Overreach:
"[24:34] All right, first things first. She didn't say it was your fault. She just said, call the other parent authority and tell them I'm being arrested."
Discussion on Aggressive Female Authority Figures:
"[31:03] So there are women policing drugs, but messing with them, it just makes it worse."
Jason Mayhem Miller on His Battle with Crows:
"[49:31] I had a war with those crows. Oh, my God."
Adam Carolla on Sink Urinals:
"[36:48] I have been explaining for years into a microphone that I am a sink peer. I pee in sinks of bathrooms."
Chris Myers on Live Broadcasting:
"[97:19] It was a weird moment that I talk about in the book..."
This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a blend of personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and critical discussions on societal issues. From Chris Myers' insights into sports broadcasting to Adam's commentary on government policies and innovative products like sink urinals, listeners are treated to a multifaceted conversation that entertains while prompting reflection on contemporary topics.