Jim Florentine + Dan Radakovich (Carolla Classics)

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show (Carolla Classics): Jim Florentine + Dan Radakovich

Episode Date: May 15, 2026
Featured Guests: Jim Florentine, Dan Radakovich, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Allison Rosen, Brian "Bald Brian" Bishop
Classic Clip Years: 2014
Host: Superfan Giovanni (Carolla Classics Edition)

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Overview

This Carolla Classics episode spotlights two extensive classic clips from 2014 Adam Carolla Show episodes, punctuated by the unfiltered comedy, lively banter, and candid conversations that define the show. The first half features comedian Jim Florentine and the recurring gang (Allison Rosen and Bald Brian), as they riff on everything from pranks and boner stories to generational culture. The second section is an in-depth, moving, and often hilarious look at Brian Bishop’s (Bald Brian's) battle with a brain tumor, featuring Dr. Drew and football coach Dan Radakovich.

The show is classic Carolla: raucous, tangential, sometimes outrageous, and surprisingly insightful, balancing lowbrow humor with honest talk about life, health, success, and failure.

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Segment 1: Jim Florentine and Greatest Hits From "Crank Yankers"

[01:43–24:00+]

Key Discussion Points

• Crank Yankers Stories & Burping Talent

  • Jim Florentine reminisces about his infamous "Bobby Fletcher" character on Crank Yankers and his remarkable talent for burping on command.

  • Brian Bishop recounts how they’d legally record prank calls in Nevada to sidestep California’s strict laws ([04:52]).

  • A full, hysterical playback of a prank call where Jim’s belching almost derails the call, with the mark highly confused about who is burping ([06:09–08:29]).

    "They just kept saying, 'burp.' Your notes were just 'keep burping.'"
    — Jim Florentine ([09:06])

  • Inside stories on writing and surviving laughter during prank calls.

• Childhood gross-out skills & comic talent

  • The recurring theme of childhood competitiveness in making fart sounds and the lifelong desire to master burping ([04:14]).

• The Beer Bottle Struggle Rant

  • Adam’s signature rant launched from receiving a non-twist-off beer at a movie theater.

  • The group riff on masculinity performances required when unable to open a bottle.

  • A philosophical musing on progress: "Shouldn't everything just be twist off by now?!" ([14:19]).

    "Wasn't that pioneered—what, Marcus Twistoff, the great German scientist, pioneered this in 1971? Shouldn't we have just all ran this direction?"
    — Brian Bishop ([14:20])

  • Joys and pitfalls of using creative bottle-openers (flip-flops, lighters, even a friend's massive ring).

• Comic Banter on Phone Etiquette & ‘Get Off the Phone’ Signals

  • The panel analyzes the social dance of trying to end a phone conversation ("Will do!" as the get-off phrase) and imagines an app that hangs up for you after too many "will dos" ([19:12–22:42]).
  • Jim: "I go, 'Honey, gotta go, I'm pulling up to a traffic light.' She's like, 'So what does that mean?'"

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Highlight Quotes & Moments

• "Some comics look down on prop comics, do you look down on people who have to use the armpit to make fart sounds?"
  — Adam Carolla ([04:35])

• “I could probably find 1500 individuals who would happily kill my wife for a gift certificate to Olive Garden … it'd have to be for two.”
  — Brian Bishop ([10:04])

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Audience Q&A: Teacher Motivation & Cop Stories

[25:29–49:57]

• Teaching Motivational Crises

  • A high school English teacher asks for advice on motivating unmotivated ninth graders. Adam's response is a blend of raw honesty and dry wit—arguing not everyone has potential and extolling the value of non-college jobs ([26:51–39:02]).

    "Let's not send everyone to college, people. We need people to scrape paint and put asphalt down."
    — Brian Bishop ([39:02])

• Cultural Commentary: Self Esteem vs. Actual Worth

  • Adam rails against the culture of excessive self-esteem and “creating monsters”: “Kids are pieces of s*** now. They really are. Stop it with the self-esteem. I’m tired.” ([39:31])

• Sexualization & Male Boner Stories

  • A long riff on the comedy, frustration, and inevitability of teenage boners, even recounting random arousal around elderly teachers ([32:51–37:03]).
  • Massage parlor awkwardness and the perils of suppressing “surprise boners.”

• Trash Dining & Drunken Eats

  • Group confessions about eating room service leftovers, vending machine finds, and year-old Canadian bacon for comedic glory.
  • “Who amongst us hasn’t hit someone else’s room service?”
    — Brian Bishop ([79:09])

• Classic Carolla Rant: Cops as ‘Security Detail’

  • Adam launches a screed against police “zero tolerance zones”:

    “First off, I missed my f***ing flight … If we obey your archaic, retarded rules, I can make it home at 8:00 versus 6:30. … We're JLo and when we jaywalk, they don't ticket her.”
    — Adam Carolla ([45:13])

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Notable Tangents

• Jerky Store Branding: Riffing on the rise of “Alien Fresh Jerky” and the absurdity of the name ([48:45–50:31]).
• Cannibal Jokes: What parts of people would taste best, bacon-wrapped… well, anything ([51:02–52:53]).
• Family Show?: “Let’s not go blue. We’ve made it the whole show ... Sorry, I want to apologize to any kids out there.”
  — Brian Bishop, as the jokes go off the rails ([78:29]).

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Segment 2: Bald Brian’s Brain Tumor Story + Dr. Drew & Dan Radakovich

[92:09–131:06+]

Key Discussion Points

• Bald Brian's Cancer Diagnosis & Battle

  • Brian Bishop relives his 2009 diagnosis with a brainstem glioma—with brutal honesty—and how prognosis was initially "six months to a year" ([93:02+]).
  • Dr. Drew’s reaction:

    "Oh, shit. Basically. Oh, f***." ([94:35])

  • The emotional, medical, and psychological journey: treatments, the power of new drugs (Avastin), and surviving against difficult odds.

• The Medical System & Cancer Storytelling

  • Dr. Drew and Brian discuss the value of honest, practical "tumor tips" for patients, and the pitfalls of self-delusion or false inspiration ([111:25–112:54]).
  • How a new drug for colon cancer ended up saving Brian’s life—testament to the power of cross-application and pharmaceutical research ([97:21–98:35]).

• Measurement Anxiety & MRI Results

  • The group talk about the “measurement days” where your entire life hinges on a doctor entering the room, reading a scan, and saying if you live or die ([110:25]).

    "You're basically gonna take a look at that guy's face. And that guy's face is either gonna go, you're gonna live or you're gonna die."
    — Brian Bishop ([110:25])

• Life Post-Treatment

  • Brian moves from intensive chemo and radiation to the maintenance phase where he gets Avastin infusions every eight weeks ([113:17]).

• Philosophy of Success: Delayed Gratification, Self-Esteem, and Exceptionalism

  • Dr. Drew references a NYT article on what makes successful children: the magic trio of "delayed gratification, a deep sense of insecurity, but also a sense of exceptionalism" ([129:44]).

    “Low self-esteem meaning nobody owes you a living, it's not gonna work out. High self-esteem in the exceptionalism part is, ‘I'm going to make this happen.’”
    — Brian Bishop ([131:06])

• Real-World Narcissism & Selfishness

  • Adam offers his unique take on why no one cares as much about your projects as you do, applying that logic to careers and personal struggles alike ([157:06+]).

    “Don’t expect other people to either do more, know more or think more about your s**t … They’re not and shouldn’t.”
    — Brian Bishop/Adam Carolla ([157:06+])

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Football & Legendary NFL Stories: Dan Radakovich [NFL Coach]

[135:05–146:32]

• NFL Coaching History
  • Dan Radakovich recounts his career coaching legendary defenses and offensive lines with the Pittsburgh Steelers ("Steel Curtain") and LA Rams.
• Football Innovations
  • Origin stories of tight jersey sleeves to prevent holding, and tales of the original defensive line name contest.
• Player Anecdotes
  • “Was Mean Joe Green actually mean?” “No, he... doesn’t like the word, but he was an awfully good football player.”
    — Dan Radakovich ([136:54])
• Culture, Work Ethic, and On-Field Antics
  • Tales of Super Bowl triumph, epic games lost, and how even then, small innovations offered a huge competitive edge.

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News & Cultural Talk Highlights

[162:15+]

• Obama’s State of the Union
  • The panel dissects clichés in political speech and the need for politicians to speak in specifics not platitudes ([163:52]).
• Minimum Wage and Immigration Riffs
  • Adam's pragmatic, sometimes politically incorrect take: "Stop the influx, then integrate those here who want to work and pay taxes. The underground economy isn’t the way.” ([169:01])
• Patent Trolls
  • Brief mention that made fans perk up: President Obama referencing the issue, validating Carolla’s own patent troll battles ([163:02–163:20]).

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Signature Adam Carolla Rants

• Against "Zero Tolerance" Cops
• Beer Bottles & Masculinity
• The Societal Cult of Self-Esteem
• Why Nobody Cares as Much as You Do

All delivered with irreverent energy, bold honesty, and humor.

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Most Memorable Quotes

• “Just keep burping. That was the direction.” — Jim Florentine ([09:08])
• “Let's not send everyone to college, people. We need people to scrape paint and put asphalt down.” — Brian Bishop ([39:02])
• “Low self-esteem, work your ass off, and a belief in exceptionalism — that’s the secret sauce.” — Dr. Drew/Brian/Adam ([130:19–131:06])
• "You don't need a tool. You drink with tools." — Brian Bishop ([14:56])
• "I could easily do it with a dude, too. That's why I never choose dudes. You know what I mean?" — Brian Bishop on massage boners ([37:29])
• "Who amongst us hasn’t hit someone else’s room service?" — Brian Bishop ([79:09])

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Time-Stamped Key Moments

• 04:52 — Behind the scenes of Crank Yankers pranks.
• 06:09–08:29 — Full prank call playback: “Bobby Fletcher” applies for a job while burping.
• 14:19 — The bottle twist-off rant.
• 19:12–22:42 — Comedy about escaping phone calls.
• 32:51–37:03 — Teenage boner stories and massage anxiety.
• 45:13 — Adam’s rant on “zero tolerance” police zones.
• 51:02–52:53 — Cannibal jokes with bacon-wrapped enhancements.
• 92:09–131:06 — Brian Bishop’s brain tumor journey, Dr. Drew’s clinical input, life lessons.
• 129:44–131:06 — What makes children successful: Delayed gratification, insecurity, exceptionalism.
• 163:02–163:20 — Obama references patent reform; Carolla reacts.
• 166:51 — Adam’s view on common sense immigration.
• 157:06+ — Adam/Brian’s philosophical discussion on self-interest and “nothing personal.”
• 135:05–146:32 — Dan Radakovich recounts NFL coaching history, innovations.

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Tone and Language

• Freewheeling, fast-paced, and explicit.
• Adam (and crew) treat blue humor, cultural criticism, and deep topics with equal enthusiasm.
• Blend of nostalgia, raunch, and real talk.

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For New Listeners

This episode highlights everything that defines vintage Adam Carolla Show: the wild ride from dumb guy humor to deeper truths; the balancing act between offensive laughs and unexpected earnestness; and an inside look at how comedians, athletes, and regular folks deal with the absurdities of life.

If you like…

• Comedians riffing and poking fun at each other
• Uncensored riffs on life, success, and failure
• 2000s/2010s nostalgia and prank calls
• Candid, moving patient/doctor discussions
• Rants about cops, self-esteem, and society

…this is THE episode for you.

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Mahalo!

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

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[Dan Radakovich]

Foreign.

[Adam Carolla]

Classics I'm your host, super fan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla Show. If you'd like access to the Adam Corolla show archive all over 4,200 episodes, make sure to check out Adam Carolla's substack adamcarola.substack.com There you'll get exclusive access to the AD free archives, the Adam Carolla show, the Adam and Dr. Drew show, as well as the podcast Beat It Out. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsncarollo.com now on to the clips. Coming up first, we have a live show with Jim FLORENTINE Adam Crillo show 1237 featuring Allison Rose and Brian Bishop from 2014. Check it out.

[Brian Bishop]

At first I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light and I was transported to another place. Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands of movies and shows and they were all free. Truth is, it's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe, Arrow, the 100 and the X Files may cause excitement, loss of sleep and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV Stream now pay Never. Jim Florentine has joined us up on stage. Allison Rosen, Bald Brian

[Allison Rosen]

oh,

[Brian Bishop]

all right. Many things to talk about. Jim and I, of course, worked together on crank anchors so many years ago. Everyone loves special ed. And Bobby. Who did the belching?

[Jim Florentine]

Bobby Fletcher.

[Brian Bishop]

Bobby Fletcher.

[Jim Florentine]

Yes, and real burps too.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh no, Jim's amazing. As a matter of fact, he needs a Diet Coke up here at some point so we can pull this off in the flesh. But my favorite call, and I just thought we'd get it out of the way, was Bobby Fletcher calling in to attempt to get a job. And somehow the guy thought the guy who was doing the belching was on the other line or the third line, which is weird because Jim is such a class A. Well, first, he's just a class act, but secondly, his ability to belch and speak. Only Betty White really have I heard. And she was. She was really high at the time. Who's able to do that? That's the only other celebrity I've met that can do that. And Jim is able to do that. I don't know if it's something that was just touched by the hand of God or something.

[Jim Florentine]

I think so. Yeah. It was a talent. Yeah. I honed it. When I was younger, I used to just stand outside a supermarket as people walked out. I would just burp right in their face. And they were like, don't you have anything else to do?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm like, no, I don't. I just.

[Jim Florentine]

I'm just gonna stand here and do that.

[Brian Bishop]

It's so weird because as I, you know, walk into my house every night and step over my kids having sex with their avatars, I realize all we had was making fart sounds with the arm flap.

[Allison Rosen]

Being able to make myself burp was something that I have wanted to do or had wanted to do ever since I was a little kid. I'm not making that up. I always envied that. And then, like, one night, I spit. Spent hours just trying to do it, and I almost passed out, but I also almost threw up.

[Brian Bishop]

Be prepared to be blown away by Florentine. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, some comics look down on, like, prop comics and stuff. Does Jim look down on the people who have to use the armpit to make the fart sound?

[Brian Bishop]

No.

[Jim Florentine]

I respect that even more. I haven't burped in probably since the crank anchor's days. Like, I haven't done that in a while, so it's. I might be a little rusty tonight.

[Brian Bishop]

Well. Well, you can, you know, warm up your chops. I want to play you that call from so many years ago. We used to go to Las Vegas to do these phone calls. Well, we would go to Nevada, but we figure as long as we're in Nevada, let's go to Vegas and live it up a little bit. And because it's illegal, it's illegal to make those phone calls and tape record phone calls. In California, you can't call somebody and record it and not tell Them in advance. You're recording it, but I hope you're all sitting down in Nevada. It's perfectly legal. So we would just go to Vegas, tape all the calls in Vegas, and sort of sidestep the law that way. And I was sitting in the recording studio off the Strip while Jim was doing his thing. And you never knew what was going to happen because you knew he was going to belch, but you didn't know how the other person was going to react. This one we could have never dreamt of in our wildest dreams. But I. I don't think it needs any more setup than that. Let's just. Let's just play Jim applying for a job.

[Rich (from prank call)]

National Defense Network. This is Rich. How can I help you?

[Jim Florentine]

Hi, Rich. This is Bobby Fletcher. I'm calling about the job.

[Rich (from prank call)]

What type of sales experience you got?

[Jim Florentine]

I've sold everything over the phone.

[Rich (from prank call)]

Name it, you've done it.

[Jim Florentine]

Right?

[Rich (from prank call)]

Well, basically, what we're doing here, guy is dealing specifically with. Well, not specifically taxes. Are you burping?

[Brian Bishop]

What?

[Rich (from prank call)]

Somebody's burping on this line.

[Jim Florentine]

I only have one line.

[Rich (from prank call)]

Okay, somebody's burping on this line. And so that means somebody is probably listening on my phone call and being a idiot.

[Jim Florentine]

What, do you got some kids working

[Brian Bishop]

there or something like that?

[Rich (from prank call)]

Of course, there's some little idiots around here somewhere.

[Jim Florentine]

You know, and the people in the middle of a conversation, burping. I mean, that's pretty childish. Okay, so what kind of salary are we talking about?

[Rich (from prank call)]

350 bucks a week versus commission. Whoever's burping you're puking. If you got enough guts, why don't you come over here so I can whoop on you? The cool thing about this place is you have an opportunity to make as much money as you want. Move up the ladder quick. I've had six promotions in 14 months. Right, and then we move you up the ladder. And we work also with prepaid legal. We can actually give prepaid legal away. You sell the extra $36. Deal. You get 25 bucks for 36 bucks. Not too shabby.

[Jim Florentine]

That sounds good, man.

[Rich (from prank call)]

Because if you get somebody close your calls for you, it doesn't matter. They'll close the call. You still get paid the same amount of money because they get 3% off your deal.

[Jim Florentine]

I'm starting to hear something. I didn't pick that.

[Rich (from prank call)]

Oh, yeah, it was a big one. That's a big, juicy one. But, you know, whoever it is, may be funny, but it doesn't bother me because you're unprofessional enough to talk right over there.

[Jim Florentine]

Look, if I'm gonna make sales for you guys, I can't have some guy burping over the phone.

[Rich (from prank call)]

Well, no, this is only on the inbound phones here for my specific one, because let's just say there's internal problems and we're getting rid of. That's why we're hiring from this dude.

[Jim Florentine]

So this ain't gonna happen with me because, you know, I'm pretty professional when I do my calls.

[Rich (from prank call)]

Oh, no doubt. So are we. And that's why people like this guy on the other line, when we find out who it is, we'll just have Adam fire him, you know, Then I'll take him outside and just beat his ass.

[Jim Florentine]

All right, I'd like to work for you guys. You guys sound good, but the burping's a little too much for me. It sounds like you guys are pretty unprofessional over there.

[Rich (from prank call)]

No, that. What it is, is it's a one of those phones that you listen on, okay? And they cannot only go on so many lines.

[Jim Florentine]

I can't deal with that if I'm trying to make sales.

[Rich (from prank call)]

You won't have to. If it ever happens, we find out where it comes from. Trust me, we will.

[Jim Florentine]

All right, I'll call you back tomorrow if I get burping in.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks. Yeah. Jim Florentine. Oh, you know, I remember you and

[Jim Florentine]

Jimmy Kimmel on the floor laughing as I was doing it, because they're in the room, you know, in case you come up with a line or whatever, and I can't look at them. I'm covering my eyes. They're making me laugh. And it was fucking up my burps.

[Brian Bishop]

We were. We'd sit there with dry erase boards and, you know, quickly scroll down jokes. But in this case, we just kept saying burp. And I think you were, like, chugging a. A Coke and water. Yeah, you. You guys.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, your notes were just keep burping.

[Brian Bishop]

Just keep.

[Jim Florentine]

That was the direction.

[Allison Rosen]

Did you ever have problems with the people cracking up during their calls with.

[Brian Bishop]

With the celebrities and. Or comedians kind of. Kind of losing it? No, I think that's. I think the first thing you learn as a comedian, and by the way, a criminal, is, you know, keep a straight face when someone says, you've been drinking tonight. Absolutely not. You know what I mean? Like, you have to be able to. You have to be able to do that. Otherwise, you're screwed. In the comedy world, especially since most comedians start off by making prank phone calls in the first place.

[Jim Florentine]

And it's a lot easier when that you don't. You're not actually face to face with the person over the phone. It's a lot easier not to break character.

[Brian Bishop]

Right? Yeah.

[Dan Radakovich]

The.

[Brian Bishop]

The, the hard part was always calling them back and trying to get them to sign off. We had to call back and get

[Jim Florentine]

sign off on and Comedy Central only give them a T shirt. There was no. They're like, no, you got. You're going to be a star. You're going to be on tv.

[Brian Bishop]

No, but we'd like sweeten the pot with a gift certificate to Olive Garden or something. Something insane like that. It's amazing what people do. For a gift certificate to Olive Garden. I think I could. I think I could probably find 1500 individuals in the United States who would happily kill my wife for a gift certificate to Olive Garden. I mean, it'd have to be for two.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

And probably have to have like a, you know, some sort of bottomless pasta bowl and dessert included or whatever. Whatever it was. A couple of cocktails thrown in and maybe a crank anchor T shirt. But either way, it's amazing what you can get done with a gift certificate in most towns. All right. Speaking of booze. And we weren't talking about it. I was just thinking about it. I'm enjoying my mangria. Thank you so much for partaking. You know how I lead a life where people do a lot of really nice things for me and I get angry about it and them shortly thereafter.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Last night we went to a theater to watch a second look of my movie the Hammer. Ileana Douglas has this thing where showed it. Thank. Thank you. And it was nice. We went to a theater. We sat. Everyone sat in. I brought my kids. Everything was great. It was a great night. And right before the movie started, a lovely young woman who was sitting in front of me held up a beer, was a Corona. And she said, looks like you could go for a cold one. And I said, absolutely. And she leaned back and she handed me the beer. And then I proceeded for the next 20 minutes to tear all the skin off off of my inner knuckle of my thumb on my left hand, trying to get it, trying to get the cap off. And then a certain point, I realized this. She monster who started off as the greatest person on the planet and just turned into a serpent in front of me, handed me a fucking beer and said, looks like you go for a cold one. Did not offer to open it or tell me I need open it and just watch me Grind my left hand down to a fucking nub.

[Allison Rosen]

What a sociopath.

[Brian Bishop]

It's also, you know, you mean business when the shirt comes out. Okay, now, now I'm getting my shirt involved with this. Yeah, and then there's that move. And it's. It's the most emasculating move in the world where you have to hand it off to somebody. Usually with an excuse that involves toughness. Like where you go, hey, could you work on this bottle? In the 70s, I got in a bar fight and I kicked the shit out of a bunch of Hell's Angels and I busted up my left hand really bad. I got titanium in it from just. I took out that. I took out the Lompoc chapter of the Hell's Angels. Anyway, I can't. I have no grip in my left hand. So could you. Could you go ahead and there's always an excuse. It's never, I'm a pussy. I can't do a chin up. It's always something to do with kicking too much ass. And use.

[Jim Florentine]

And you don't have your drunk white trash friend with you. Go, no, I got a lighter right here. And just pops it off right, right here. No problem. I gotta, I gotta.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, but you never say it's never anything like, I was, I was, you know, I was masturbating vigorously. My hand slid off my cock. It caught the towel, you know those towel rings just the wrong way. And I haven't been able to open a bottle since. It always has to do with, you know, I was beating the shit on my eighth Hell's Angel. So I handed the thing off to somebody and they started working on it and then they. And by the way, nothing warms the beer faster than, than dudes working on it vigorously, like between the guy's legs. I have three people all working on it. One guy's holding it down with a towel, you know, and the other guy's working on the top. And it's like, this is not a twist off. This. This serpent lady handed me a cold one and did not tell me I needed to figure out a way to open this thing. And now I'm going at it with the keys and doing that move like there's a. There's a way to open a. First off, what year is it? Shouldn't everything just be twist off like.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Wasn't that pioneered What? Marcus Twistoff, the great German scientist, pioneered this in 1971. Shouldn't we have just all ran this direction?

[Jim Florentine]

And what advantage of it is it. Is it more? Is it fresher. Because it's not. You can't just twist it like that.

[Brian Bishop]

Why? It went. Why is it fine for half the beers? How do they get away with it? It's like. It's like, if. It's not like we do that with the pop top on the soda can. It's not like. Well, half of them, you need the old style army, you know, screwdriver style to punch a hole in it.

[Allison Rosen]

You should need a tool to drink something.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. Yes. You don't need a tool. You drink with tools.

[Jim Florentine]

Now, do you think that she gave it to you being nice? Or she's like, all right, fuck it, I can't open this, so I'll just give it to Adam because I can't use this.

[Brian Bishop]

Was she. I don't know. You know, it was like. It was like if. If somebody took like a. Like, like a rack of lamb and then put it inside an impenetrable Lucite case and just gave it to a bear. That's. That's in. In a swimming pool. That's what I was. That's what I was like. I was just pawing at it and struggling with it and elbows flying.

[Allison Rosen]

My dog toy for a human.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And I gave it to my wife. She was going at it with the keys. There's a move. So anyway, it's 2014. Can we just fucking have the twist top for all beers from this day forth? And if not, can we clearly mark them? Can we paint them Caltrans orange when they're not pop top? Because how many people.

[Allison Rosen]

And no matter how tough you are, I'm assuming if you try to twist off one that needs an opener, it, like, cuts your hand up.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. It's. It's. Oh, it's excruciating. Then there's always this move. You can try for the one quick move, like on the counter side with the pop move, which could go. Great. Yeah, one out of ten. Or it could go. It could go. You could either chip off the top of the bottle, you could take off the edge of your marble countertop. Like, there's a lot of. Lot. There's a lot of downside to that. It's like pulling a tooth, you know, slam the door. This could be quick and painless. Or you could be laying on the ground with blood shooting out of your ass.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow. Where were the roots of that tooth?

[Brian Bishop]

Very deep, my friend. Very deep. So I was struggling with it, and then it's like, I didn't know what to do with the chick because I Didn't. I wanted to tap her on watching the whole time. No, she was. She was looking forward. And I wanted. I wanted to like, what the fuck? Like, who? Why would you hand someone a beer that you couldn't? It's not like I had my, you know, church key hanging around my neck. Eventually, I started sort of cursing and making noises while Ileana Douglas was saying how happy she was to have me there that night. And Lynette wrestled it away from me and got it open with her keys.

[Allison Rosen]

See, the great irony about any bottle that you can't get open is that there is a way in. If you just destroy the bottle, you can't drink it. Yes, but that's always an option.

[Brian Bishop]

The greatest. The guy. The guy you want, you know, everybody. You need that. Everyone needs the stoner they travel with. Like the space saver stoner, you know that you just travel with the little guy who's handy with a lighter.

[Jim Florentine]

He's got shit hanging off.

[Brian Bishop]

He's always got. Yeah, he's always got a lighter. By the way, his lighter is like a Swiss Army. Like, it can work. It can do anything. It can open bottles.

[Jim Florentine]

Open my iPhone, I'm like, there's some in here. Oh, yeah, I got something. He can open this.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, right? They just boom, pow. You need that guy. The greatest guy ever met to do that was William the Refrigerator Perry, who had a huge mitt and a huge ring. It wasn't a Super bowl ring, it was just a massive ring. And if you handed him your beers, he just. He was like one of those, like, what they have in the old timey. Cooler, Coke coolers. Like, he literally just take his paw and pop it and hand it. Hand it right back to you.

[Adam Carolla]

So, yes, my version of that is my buddies were all USC frat guys, and they wore the flip flops that had the bottle opener and the sole. But some guys here apparently do too.

[Brian Bishop]

I like that.

[Allison Rosen]

So someone rubbed their shoe on your drink.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I also experienced. Jim. I don't know. Tell me. I know we've gotten into this before, but I really wanted to delve into this. At what age do you not know someone is trying to get the fuck off the phone with you? Because I heard my wife talking to her dad the other night going, alrighty then. Well, okay. Well, then we'll. Then we'll see you then.

[Adam Carolla]

Then.

[Brian Bishop]

Then we will see you then. Right? I will do. All righty. Well, then, then that's when we'll see you. Well, then. Okay. All right. All righty then, then. That well, then we'll see. Yeah, of course. And then there's a weird pause. Natalia's doing great. Thanks for asking. Anyway, we'll see you then. Will do. Once you hear your, like, fifth. Will do. And I'll see you then. And alrighty, then. And okay, then the fuck off the phone. What, what happens? What age do you get to where you don't have the ability to hear tone and inclination anymore, where you just don't know what the person wants? Or do you not care?

[Allison Rosen]

I think it's that you don't care. You're like, I don't have that many years left. I know this person doesn't want to talk to me, but it. They will.

[Brian Bishop]

It.

[Allison Rosen]

I will wear them down.

[Jim Florentine]

I don't even know if it's an age thing, you know, like, even with my wife, she just wants to talk and talk. We're on the phone and I, I, I just pick it up like I'm aggravated and I have to go, right? And then I, I make any excuse. I'm like, honey, you know what? I gotta go. I'm pulling up to a traffic light. I gotta go. Which, so what does that mean? You're at a. I go, yeah, yeah. I got, I got to concentrate by. You

[Allison Rosen]

see, I'm sorry.

[Jim Florentine]

I went through a tunnel. I couldn't hear. You know, that's a. That's a great one.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm kind of that way on the phone too. But why are you that way with your wife? Do you just not like to be on the phone?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

With his wife.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, with my wife.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Right.

[Jim Florentine]

If it's my friend, I'll be on fucking two hours.

[Brian Bishop]

I know. It's so sad. Yeah. So sad. I know.

[Jim Florentine]

You know when she's like, how was your day? I'm like, well, it's not over yet. How about you fucking ask me in six hours? You know, a lot of shit could happen. Why tell you in the middle? Let's wait.

[Brian Bishop]

There should be an app for your phone. When it hears. Will do for the 55th time, it hangs up.

[Dan Radakovich]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Then you get a call back, a second later, we got disconnected. So, no, no.

[Brian Bishop]

It gets very staticky, and then it just flatlines and it won't recognize that other number. All you have to do is say the phrase will do five times in the course of two minutes and it will hang up with it. Someone invent this app. It'd be awesome. Yeah. And because there could be a moment where you're talking to your wife and you're like, we'll Do. Right, Right. I get it. With. Yeah, right. Natalia with the homework. Will do. We'll do. Okay, we'll do. And then you're like, will. And then she's like, I want to talk about your girth. And you're like, oh, hold it now. I just bought myself. You just bought an X. I mean, not. It's probably not likely. Yeah, it could happen, but you could buy yourself. You would be able to count. The phone would have a little Will do countdown on it, and all you have to do is say will do, and I think static will kick in. By the way, it's not like anyone would get suspicious if you said will do twice. They go, wait a minute. You're trying to get off the phone with me with that apple. They wouldn't know. I mean, unless it got wildly popular. And then maybe I changed it to can do. But either way, there should be a

[Adam Carolla]

safe word or phrase that resets the will do counter. Like if the cocked girth comes up, like, oh, can do.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. Brings it back. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

It's interesting, that moment where you're trying to get off. You realize the other person doesn't hear, and then you just decide, I guess I'll just re. Engage. Like you're saying when Lynette's like, yeah, Natalia's homework is going well. Because it is a choice where you just give up.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

Just answer your question, and then you'll have to start in again on the trying to get off.

[Brian Bishop]

Will do. I know what you're saying.

[Rich (from prank call)]

I do.

[Brian Bishop]

I do what you're saying. Brian, you got some questions from the audience?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

By the way, I should say that Jim Florentine is going to be at the American Comedy Club in San Diego. We were just out there January 8th. Hollywood Improv on January 9th. And. Wait a minute.

[Jim Florentine]

That was.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

This past week.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that was this past week.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, that metal.

[Allison Rosen]

I can't wait to go.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, you guys should go. I already know how the show went.

[Allison Rosen]

Is it. Is it gonna be good?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Come to the improv show, not the San Diego show. That was better.

[Brian Bishop]

We should get a DeLorean and go back and see that San Diego show. I bet it was dynamite. But the Hollywood improv show. The hell's that? What is that? What the hell's the date today?

[Allison Rosen]

Today's the 11th.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Forget about all the shows. Anyway, don't see Jim Florentine.

[Allison Rosen]

The thing is, he's played some great shows recently.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, he's definitely done on a roll. Stellar shows. But website. Jim florentine.com and what you can do is you can find out when past, but future shows, more importantly.

[Jim Florentine]

Yes, future shows. Or I do a podcast. I got a podcast called Comedy Mental Midgets.

[Brian Bishop]

Sure.

[Jim Florentine]

Once a week. And I new season of that metal show that I work on on VH1

[Brian Bishop]

Classic, which I enjoy,

[Jim Florentine]

starts next Saturday night. 12 new episodes every Saturday.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Do you know. Yes.

[Jim Florentine]

I do a show on Ozzy's Boneyard on Sirius too.

[Brian Bishop]

How. How big a attraction of guys that are into heavy metal is because it's called heavy metal. Like if it was called Pliable Plastic as a genre, it's like a musical genre.

[Jim Florentine]

Probably not too many.

[Brian Bishop]

Or like it was called like the genre was just known as soft and doughy pink and soft dick. You know what I mean? I think I just like the idea of being into heavy metal. It just, it just sounds good.

[Allison Rosen]

There's not a lot of dudes who are into easy listening.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, there is.

[Jim Florentine]

And it's all, mostly it's all dudes that are in the heavy metal.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

I see when I see like a 20 year old kid, he's like, dude, I love Black Sabbath. I go, you don't get laid, right? He's like, I know, I love Judas Priest too. I go, dude, I go, just start listening to Beyonce right now.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Jim Florentine]

You're gonna have a tough life.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Jim Florentine]

Because no chicks want to fuck you.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Jim Florentine]

They don't want to hear that Black Sabbath got back together. And there's a great record out when you're in a dance club.

[Brian Bishop]

Right? Yeah. Also there's not a lot of 22, 21, 22 year old chicks over at the junior college who know who UFO is.

[Jim Florentine]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Jim Florentine]

They don't care that Judas Priest is coming around in the summer.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Jim Florentine]

That kid's jacked up on it.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, questions from the audience.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yes. First one's from Sarah Valenzuela of Cypress, California. Where is Sarah? There we go.

[Brian Bishop]

Sarah from Cyprus.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep.

[Allison Rosen]

Hi, guys.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey. So my question is, I'm a high school teacher, so I'm wondering how do I motivate a ninth grade student? Well, couple. Hold on, Ma.

[Jim Florentine]

Masturbation. Like she's just going to start masturbating at the front. Like that's going to make him do his work. He's not going to watch her playing with herself. He's going to go, I'm going to do my math now.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. First thing you need to announce is that children are not our future. It's. I think it's those Robots that clean, you know, the Roombas or whatever they are. It's that or the universal remote, but it's not children. You have a ninth grader. So what's that make you? 14? 15.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, 15.

[Brian Bishop]

15. And what do you teach? So when you're. You must. So you have a subject, right?

[Allison Rosen]

English.

[Brian Bishop]

English. And does a kid have potential? Yeah. Yes.

[Rich (from prank call)]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

No, listen, not everyone has potential. Almost no one I went to high school with, including myself, had potential. And it was good that it was never recognized. You think they could do better, but they can't. You know, I was just talking about this yesterday with Mike the Stone Pelican as we were driving 90 miles an hour back from Las Vegas. I don't know if you guys knew about this Odyssey, but I can get into it for a second and then I'll tell you about the children and how to educate them. First off, keep them away from the school to prison pipeline that somehow was erected in the night. I never even heard about this, but Huffington Post is onto this. They broke the story. There's a school to prison pipeline. And you don't want to get him near the happy end of the school to prison pipeline. He'll be sucked into it and end up in a prison cell somewhere in Pelican Bay. So we were driving home from Las Vegas. The reason we were driving home from Las Vegas is because our flight out to Las Vegas last week had a four hour fog delay. Four hour fog delay in fucking Burbank, California. They, it's like they must have imported the fog in from either England or somewhere on the East Coast. Like, I don't know. I've lived in the Valley my entire life. We have second stage smog alerts. And the only way things really shut down in the Valley is either there's a smog alert or they think there was a third gunman. You have to cordon off the whole area, right, by the way. Hey, any cops here tonight? Could you guys fucking figure out your head count on gunmen? Because there's always the third guy you thought was there but never shows up. And that's why I have to shut down the entire city for six hours. We think there may have been one more. You think or do you know? I'll put up with the one more gunman and you open up the city. So we're fogged in completely in Burbank, which means I had four beers before 10:00am because we had an 8:05 flight, right? That never. That never took. We never. We never took off, by the way, this bullshit whenever flights are delayed, how they break it off into these bite sized morsels drives me insane. Say 8:05 flight. Well, we're leaving at 8, we're leaving at 9:40 now. All right, 9:40, I guess we'll still be all right. Well now it's 10:15, then it was 10:30, then it was 11:30 and eventually we were sitting on the plane, everyone was buckled in and no pilot. We had, we had no pilot. We had. Pilot was missing so I had to wait for the pilot. And then by the time we got to Vegas, the flight we were supposed to take out I, that was the flight we were walking past when we were coming into McCarran and there were no more flights out of Vegas. So we had to rent a car and drive home with Mike August, the maniac behind the wheel of the automobile. And along that ride we started talking about education because we get very heavy that way. And he announced when he in between honking, swerving and going in and out of lanes, by the way, here is a beautiful way to go from Vegas to LA if you're trying to get there in about three and a half hours. We got behind a E63AMG Mercedes and I could see it had a radar detector on it. And I said follow this guy. He'll be the head and we'll be the shaft and balls. Here we go. And it was like a cannonball run all that's beautiful. The guy had a vanity plate with his name on, was like Dylan. And I said this Dylan, he's got a radar detector. He's got a, he's. He's got like four turbochargers on his Mercedes Benz and he makes us run all the time. So just tuck in behind him and let him go like stink.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you think he's like, why is there an angry Toyota Tercel behind me?

[Brian Bishop]

He was getting angry and slightly confused because Mike's one of these guys when you tell him to follow somebody follows them like he's on a fucking trailer hitch, you know, so he's like swerving in and out and passing everybody.

[Allison Rosen]

He must have been so paranoid by the end.

[Brian Bishop]

We made incredible time. But we, I was looking for threw our windshield at his radar detector the entire time.

[Jim Florentine]

That's what, that's what we used to do when we were younger. Leaving the bar, always followed a drunk guy, right? That's coming out of the bar, follow because he's going to get pulled over. Just stay behind him and then you got a straight run all the way home, right? You know, and a guy can't even get the key in the door. You're like, no, I'm going to follow that. He's going to get pulled over like a mile down the road. The first cop's going to get him. And then I got a straight run.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, right.

[Jim Florentine]

Or at least I'm not afraid of the guy weaving. I'll stay right behind him. I'm not worried about him hitting me.

[Brian Bishop]

Safest place you can be is behind a drunk driver. That's true. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Because he's going to hit the tree

[Brian Bishop]

and I'm just going, all right, whatever you're hanging.

[Allison Rosen]

Unless behind is in the back seat.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Because then you get hit by vomit. We're talking about all the different kinds of smart and learning and knowledge and all that and all that shit.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And.

[Brian Bishop]

And we just decided there's a kind that does well in school that was not me. But then there's a type that can find a guy with a supercharged Mercedes Benz and a radar detector and follow him all the way from Vegas back to la. That's a certain kind of intelligence. Better arguably than the one that does well in the ninth grade class. And you got a coach around it now. I'm sorry what happened now you're an attractive woman.

[Allison Rosen]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Does that, does that. And let me tell you guys. Jim, remember, Remember when the hormones were buzzing and popping? Yes. And remember it was right about ninth grade and it was a lot of fantasies and boners you didn't want. Remember I, my. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

My history teacher was like 70 and I would get a boner.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

What was his name?

[Brian Bishop]

Mr. Mr. Kramer. Check was a very open minded Mr.

[Jim Florentine]

Carolla was his name.

[Brian Bishop]

So.

[Jim Florentine]

No, but I would she some in weird way she turned me on. Even at 70 I would have her.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, right.

[Jim Florentine]

So I could just imagine if she was my teacher. Forget.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, right. I mean maybe, maybe it's, maybe it's the, you know, the physical appearance. How do you do it at school? I went to my, I went to my daughter's school last year. The teacher was wearing her teacher's, you know, 26, she's wearing go go boots. She has a nose stud and she's all whored up. She's got the kissing potion on the fuck. She was like, it was like she was hosting a Brazilian kid show. She was that horde. She was that whored out. Do you frump it up or do you, do you put yourself together for the kids? Put myself together, yeah. So you're doing the. You're Doing the fellas a disservice because they're into you.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. They're not.

[Brian Bishop]

And they can't focus. None of the blood is in their upper extremities. It's all in their wang. There's just nothing. There's nothing they can do about it, by the way. There is only. There's a kind of a smallish window as a male where you have control over your own. It's not that. That. That big, you know, it's not a big window like you spend the beginning part of your life with no control over your wiener. You just get a boner. It doesn't matter. You could be. You could be sitting there, you know, showing Schindler's List, And that kid would have a boner because he's in the ninth grade. There's just nothing. And then there's just. Thank you. But then there's a certain point later on in life where you're yelling at your dick. Come on, let's go. It's party time. Let's do it.

[Jim Florentine]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

And it's nothing.

[Allison Rosen]

When's the last time you had a surprise boner?

[Brian Bishop]

Wow. Surprise boner.

[Jim Florentine]

You ever get one on the plane when you're just sitting there for no reason?

[Brian Bishop]

I've had the surprise boner on the plane. Which. Which means then if you have to pee, you have to lean over and put your head. You have to. Have to become a plank and put your head when you're going to. You're right. What happens to me is every time, about three times a year, I get a massage. And the massage, they always start you off on your stomach, and they spend the first 40 minutes with you're on your stomach, and they're just working, working away. And I don't want to get a boner because they're going to flip you over.

[Allison Rosen]

But it's just gravity.

[Brian Bishop]

It's literally. It's. It's just. It's just math, science, and gravity.

[Jim Florentine]

And so you don't go to the Asian ones. If you don't want to get a boner, then.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, right. I'm going to a real one. But I'm. But unfortunately, while that. While the Enya's playing and she's got the. You know, I can smell the lavender in the air. I'm having to think about Vietnam War atrocities, Right? Because I don't want to get a boner. So it's not as relaxing as it could be because I know if I drift away, I'll drift away over to boner island, right? And I don't want to go there because I have to flip over in a second.

[Allison Rosen]

Is it that the boner island would be a place I would not want to visit? Is it that the massage feels so good or that you're thinking, no boner, no boner, no boner, no boners.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, no boners gives you a boner. No anything gives you whatever it is. No cigarettes. I need a smoke. No booze. I need some booze.

[Adam Carolla]

No whammies, Right?

[Brian Bishop]

No. No anything means that's what, that's what I'm. That's what I'm gonna do.

[Jim Florentine]

Now, is the woman hot, that's giving her massage? Is that what it is?

[Brian Bishop]

You're usually, you know. Okay, well, there's a certain, you know, they're not in wheelchairs and. Right. They have all their limbs and everything,

[Jim Florentine]

you know, like, you got, like, 50 and kind of.

[Brian Bishop]

I, I, I honestly, that doesn't. I don't know how much that factors in. Like, I think I could easily do it with a dude, too. That's why I never choose dudes. You know what I mean? What.

[Jim Florentine]

What if you were feeling you were getting a boner as a dude was giving you a massage?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm saying I don't think it has to do with the gender of the hands that have been laid upon me.

[Jim Florentine]

Is it more pressure, or do you have to go to a darker place not to get a boner robbing you?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, no, I have to. I have to. You know, I still work the Vietnam village, being pillaged by Marines that are, you know, high on methamphetamines and killing women and the elderly and kids. But now it all takes place in front of a big screen that's showing a Dane Cook movie. So I really have to go to a dark, dark, dark place in order to, you know, really not, you know, become tumescent in front of this guy. So, anyway, the guy, the children. The children, Right. He's. What? What's he doing? Not living up to his potential?

[Allison Rosen]

Who?

[Brian Bishop]

The kids.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, the kids.

[Brian Bishop]

What's he doing? Yeah, just unmotivated. Doesn't care. He's lazy. Not interested. Yeah, he's slow. All right, good. We'll see him at the car wash in four years. We need these people. Let's not send everyone to college. People. We need people to scrape paint and put asphalt down.

[Jim Florentine]

Maybe the kid needs a massage from her.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, Maybe he's tense.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, just rub her shoulders a little.

[Brian Bishop]

Release some pressure. Yes. And is the ninth grade a good grade? I mean, is that. Is that is, that, is that a happy. You want to go earlier? You want to go older? What? They're very impressionable at ninth, at ninth grade.

[Allison Rosen]

So you can kind of help them with their, you know, self esteem.

[Brian Bishop]

Listen, self esteem. I'm tired of self esteem. I'm tired of everyone feeling so goddamn good about themselves. You're creating monsters. Kids are pieces of now. They really are. Stop it with the self esteem. I'm tired.

[Jim Florentine]

You know, her kids are also at the age 14, 15, where the girls are sleeping with the boys, the teachers.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Jim Florentine]

That's about that age where that shit's going down.

[Brian Bishop]

Any of that.

[Jim Florentine]

Any hot kids in the class?

[Allison Rosen]

We've had a couple incidences in the restroom.

[Brian Bishop]

Really?

[Allison Rosen]

Huh.

[Brian Bishop]

With. With, with teachers and students. No, no. Oh no.

[Allison Rosen]

Teach. Or students and students.

[Brian Bishop]

Students and students. And how, now how were they caught? And who dropped a dime on them? And who was that dick who ratted him out? Like I feel like if I saw some consensual love making in the bathroom. First off, that's beautiful. That's, that's. It's God intended, that is.

[Jim Florentine]

And it's. If he's in ninth grade, he's not lasted long. He's not lasting more than three.

[Brian Bishop]

That window for you to bust him, it's like 30, 35.

[Jim Florentine]

He's got a minute and a half.

[Brian Bishop]

He just put it in.

[Jim Florentine]

I'll hang out. I don't want to block him.

[Brian Bishop]

Ah. And then you have to get the parents in there and everything.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, the parents.

[Brian Bishop]

And full on conference with explaining exactly what happened. Oh, it's so uncomfortable, isn't it uncomfortable?

[Allison Rosen]

I feel uncomfortable. But I'm also wondering what would the parents reaction be like I. I mean I suppose some parents would be hugely disappointed, but some proud. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

The boy's dad. Initially there'd be a lot of feign concern. Right. And then later on there'd be a lot of high fiving. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

He's like.

[Brian Bishop]

And you know, once he was back at the transmission shop, it'd be a lot of high five and, and there'd be some. There'd be some pretty earnest conversations he had with his son in private about. Did you take any pictures? Seriously? I got you that camera phone. What for?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Look.

[Jim Florentine]

That's awesome. And you say hey son, you did a good job. You saved on a room.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Jim Florentine]

You know what I mean? That could have 80 taking a Motel 6 you it right in the bathroom. Good for you.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Jim Florentine]

You take after your dad.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. And you know, of course if it was Your daughter, you just keep screaming and.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, because that's got to be tough if your daughter at 15 is getting in a stall.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

At school.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's. I know, I know. It's. Admittedly, it's a bit of a double standard. I can see where people would see it that way, but that's just the way our society set up. I didn't make.

[Allison Rosen]

You didn't write the rules.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I didn't make them. All right, what else we got?

[Adam Carolla]

Brian, next question is from Amy, age 30, of Long Beach. Where is Amy from? Long Beach. No last name, unfortunately.

[Brian Bishop]

By the way, can I, can I tell you this? I, you know, I'm not a big fan of the cops because I just don't like the idea that they think they're our bosses when we fucking pay them. They're, you know. Good point. I've said it many times. They're essentially our security detail. We, we, the non criminals pay these guys so that they can stop criminals from getting at us. But then they're douchebags to us and they write us chicken shit tickets. And it's. To me, it's no different than like JLO and Jay Z and everything else that sounds. Starts with a J. Everyone hires security, right? I mean, JLO has a security detail, but when she jaywalks, they don't write her chicken shit tickets and fuck with her constantly. And I feel the same way about the cops. We're not the criminals. Leave us alone. We're JLo. And when we were driving from Vegas and you guys tell me if you think this is. I know this didn't exist a few years ago, maybe even a few months ago. I know it may not seem like much. You see, I see little indicators and let me tell you something, in life, everything's just a little indicator. When you see your nine year old boy torturing small animals, you don't go. Well, I guess he just doesn't like Labradoodles. You go, this is a bigger global problem. This is an indicator of a larger problem. What are you talking about? Yes, thank you, Sonny. When you see razor wire around freeway signs, you don't go. Well, I guess LA only has a problem with freeway signs. You go, maybe there's a bigger problem here. And when we were driving from Vegas back to Los Angeles, we passed one of those big electronic freeway signs and it said, entering a highway patrol, California Highway Patrol, zero tolerance zone. And I thought, fuck you, assholes. First off, I missed my fucking flight and I got an early call time for my contractor show the following morning. If Mike was drives like stink, I can make it home an hour earlier. Or if we obey your fucking archaic retarded rules, I can make it home at 8:00 clock versus 6:30. So we're going to drive like stink and it's perfectly safe to drive at 85. The sun is shining and we're sucked in behind this AMG Mercedes, the radar detector. And by the way, the reason I had to shell out 400 bucks for a radar detector and this guy to shell out 400 bucks and we, my wife, had to shell out 400 bucks was because of your assholes. What do you mean zero tolerance?

[Allison Rosen]

And by the way, where is there some tolerance?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, there, there, there it is. But the idea that the people in uniform with the guns that we pay to keep us safe have zero tolerance for us. Fuck you. I have zero tolerance for you and your fucking 60. $1,000 a year, you. And let's not kid ourselves. You are some of the shittiest guys on the high school football team. You're not fucking heroes. You were shit students. You were shitty at sports. You said, I tried to make it, you couldn't get it. Fucking cut it at JC level. And now you're working for the fucking highway patrol. You all wanted to do something else and you have zero tolerance. I have zero tolerance for people I pay that fuck with me, so fuck you. Zero tolerance. You should have zero tolerance for fucking criminals, not people who missed their fucking flight out of McCarran, you pussies. 0 tolerance. Oh, I'm so fucking frightened. Fucking cops bust criminals, not commuters, you pussies. Thank you. Anyway, zero tolerance zone for What? People going 11 miles an hour faster than your fucking made up speed limit from 1961.

[Jim Florentine]

What is it, 65? Well, you're in a 65.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, first off, it toggles back from 65 to 70 because you know you'd catch on fire if it was 70 all the way back. Fucking. You see the earth's curvature in front of you, right? Yeah. You see the fucking bun boy from 26 miles away. By the way, they've closed down the Bun Boy. Oh, it's fucking devastating. Did you know they closed the Bun Boy?

[Allison Rosen]

I don't want to live in a world without a bun Boy.

[Brian Bishop]

Every single billboard that used to be supplied by Bunboy, Bun Boy was the burger joint that was halfway between LA and Vegas. And you would.

[Allison Rosen]

In Baker.

[Brian Bishop]

In Baker, right, Which is halfway between. Shut the up, he's from New York. If I say it's in Baker, California. The guy's from Long Island. I think he's gonna go, oh, what side is this exit? Is that on? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don't know.

[Jim Florentine]

He knows.

[Brian Bishop]

Shut the up.

[Jim Florentine]

It's like the south of the border signs on the east coast, right? You see him every. You know, when you're driving down. I get it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Right.

[Jim Florentine]

So you left that out. You knew.

[Brian Bishop]

This is in Baker. Baker, you know, right.

[Rich (from prank call)]

Where?

[Brian Bishop]

Baker.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. There's a Starbucks, right? Yeah, it's right across the street. One of the better home Depots. Yeah. Is out in Baker. It's worth.

[Jim Florentine]

I like that Target across.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a little out of the way, but it's worth it because they'll help load the plywood, you know, so I'll pick up all my day labors out there and just tote them back, you know. So they closed down the Bun Boy. The Bun Boy would have a billboard. But you'd get on the freeway, by the way. I'd back out of my driveway and hit a Bun Boy sign, right? And I'd be like, how'd you even know I was going to Vegas? They find out if you're going to Vegas, they start erecting bunboy signs on your side streets on the way just before you get on the fucking freeway. Well, they've all been replaced by Alien Jerky. It sounds like a horrible porn title.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

But first off, you know, I understand combining things like Vikings and, you know, shoe wear. Things like, you know, boots, right? Or, you know, lager beer, you know, or, you know, you know, booze or something like that. But aliens and jerky? I don't feel like aliens know shit about jerky.

[Allison Rosen]

And it's. It's Alien Fresh Jerky. I can't think of three words that go not so well together.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Except what I just said.

[Brian Bishop]

What you just said Toad the Wet Sprocket is making fun of Alien. Fresh jerky. Like, that's a fucking lame name. Where'd you guys come up with that lame name? Alien doesn't make me want to do anything but guard my ass and run. Like, I don't go, oh, yeah, dried cow and teriyaki flavor with aliens.

[Allison Rosen]

I wonder how the extraterrestrials do it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, and by the way, it's not like, oh, yeah, you remember that Richard Dreyfus movie where he built that huge jerky mountain in his living room? Like, there's been no movie that involves jerky and alien. Where's the fucking connection?

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on Is the implication the alien, the jerky is made from aliens

[Allison Rosen]

or by aliens or of aliens.

[Brian Bishop]

Or we find the alien cookbook that says to serve man and we freak out.

[Allison Rosen]

Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

Either way, I, I, I love jerky. I'll eat jerky. I'll eat jerky that you can tell me is made from the flesh of, of, of. Of your dog and was. Was left outside. I'll still take one hit off it, like just. And if it's good, I'll take a second hit off it. Alien jerky. One nothing.

[Allison Rosen]

I thought you were going to say humans.

[Brian Bishop]

I was thinking about it, but then I thought, you know, that'd be something that'd be kind of cool. Like, I, I don't, I don't condone cannibalism, but I would like to say when everyone was sitting around a table going, I wonder what humans taste like? I'd like to go, yeah, I,

[Rich (from prank call)]

you

[Allison Rosen]

know, that we wonder.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Puerto Ricans are a little gristly. There's difference in the different breeds. Perhaps I've said too much.

[Jim Florentine]

What would be the best part? What would taste the best? What body part, you think?

[Brian Bishop]

The booby. The booby? Yeah. Why not? Yeah. Definitely where you'd start.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Start with earlobes and eyelids. You start with the booby, work your way up.

[Jim Florentine]

What if you were only down to the penis and you were starving and it was just laying there. Everything else was eaten.

[Brian Bishop]

Are we going bunless? Yeah, there's no bun. Yeah. Zero bun.

[Jim Florentine]

No bun.

[Brian Bishop]

Like a no carbs? Well, it depends.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. No carbs.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's Paleo.

[Jim Florentine]

Unless you rather put the, Unless you rather doctor it up. I feel like, Put some mustard.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like if we could wrap a. In bacon, I would do it.

[Jim Florentine]

You would do it?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't think there's almost anything.

[Allison Rosen]

I definitely enjoy it more.

[Brian Bishop]

There's nothing that can overcome the.

[Allison Rosen]

I think I speak for a lot of us,

[Brian Bishop]

you know, in terms of condom flavors. I mean, maybe not for the Jewish gals, but. What I'm not that they do that anyway, but the point is, is that bacon? I don't think there's anything that could overcome my love of bacon. Even if it was wrapped in a penis. As long as it had one of those cellophane toothpicks in it, you know, you have to keep it from under.

[Jim Florentine]

That's true. Like if you got rescued and you were on an island and you go, look, I had to eat a penis, I'm like, dude, what the fuck? You're like, well, I Wrapped it in bacon. I'm like, oh, okay. That's pretty cool.

[Brian Bishop]

I think that's how that. Exactly how that conversation.

[Allison Rosen]

Don't you think the second conversation question, though, would be, but you had bacon. Yeah, I had to eat a penis. I wrapped it in bacon. Yeah, but you had bacon.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

You didn't have to eat the penis.

[Brian Bishop]

You. No, I, I, I, I agree. There definitely be more questions asked. The whole bacon?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Eating conversation would lead to more conversations. It would probably come unraveled, like, where are the balls?

[Jim Florentine]

Who ate the balls?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, you said that the first part you'd eat would. Or the thing you think would taste best would be the booby. And I'm just wondering if they serve humans. Is that how they refer to it? Like, we have wings or chicken breasts? Would it be booby night?

[Brian Bishop]

Right, right, right. We would give it a name. Like, you don't call pork pig.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

That. That kind of stuff. All right. Do we have some news, by the way?

[Allison Rosen]

We sure do.

[Brian Bishop]

Let's do some news with Allison Rosen.

[Jim Florentine]

With Allison Rosen.

[Brian Bishop]

She'll read some news from her iPad. Some. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison, what the. Allison, what the. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with Zip it C. It's Allison, what the. Allison, what the. Oh, by the way, I have Jim's live shows. Mexicali Live, New Jersey. Mexicali Live in New Jersey. What goes on over there? That's January 8th.

[Jim Florentine]

Rock club.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, okay.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And Magoobie's joke house in Maryland, which sounds like something your agent would threaten you with if you didn't listen to him.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Brian Bishop]

Really? You're really not gonna take my advice? You'll be playing Magoobie's Jokehouse in Maryland, all right?

[Jim Florentine]

And obviously I didn't take his advice.

[Brian Bishop]

You understand? Now listen to me. Oh, by the way, that'll be January 30th through February 1st. Sorry, sorry. Where were we?

[Allison Rosen]

Former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon died. I don't know if it's Ariel or Ariel, like the mermaid, but he's dead.

[Brian Bishop]

He or she will be missed.

[Allison Rosen]

He was 80, not into politics. He'd been in a coma for eight years.

[Brian Bishop]

A coma for a year.

[Allison Rosen]

When I first read it, I thought it was a misprint. Assuming they meant eight days. But he'd been in a coma since 2006.

[Brian Bishop]

The thing about governing is, you know, Los Angeles had a mayor that was in a coma for eight years, and we still Managed to just. The bus is still kind of ran on time. You know what I mean? It's. I was gonna say trains, but we don't have trains. But you know what I'm saying, people still went to work, schools were open, you know what I'm saying?

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Coma for eight years.

[Allison Rosen]

Eight years.

[Brian Bishop]

What? Well, by the way, after year seven,

[Allison Rosen]

still go to the hospital every day.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, you talk to him, read him those Bruce Springsteen lyrics. That'll bring him back. He loved Thunder Road. Like when do you just go pull the plug? Who's paying for this?

[Allison Rosen]

And apparently because my question was, well, what happened?

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, snowboarding accident.

[Allison Rosen]

No, no, no. I mean he had a stroke. But what happened to take him from while snowboarding alive to this? And it was that his health was deteriorating. Now one would argue it was already fairly deteriorated.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, I would too. And you know my plan, I have a plan. I have a pretty straight. Straight. It's not, you know, it's not Obamacare, but it's a pretty straightforward plan because you know what it costs to keep a Jew on life support for eight years is astronomical.

[Jim Florentine]

Why just a Jew was a Catholic. Difference.

[Brian Bishop]

There have needs that gentiles could only imagine. Yeah. Even in a coma they're needy. And it would only come out periodically to criticize the food and then go right back down in a coma cat. Very chewy, very chewy. And such small portions. And then right back down

[Adam Carolla]

it. Must he criticize his feeding tube?

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. It was literally millions of dollars to keep this guy alive for eight years. And now, now he's gone. I've always said this life support should just be change operated. You should feed it like a parking meter. And if your family loves you enough and you have a strong enough network of friends, then there'll be someone with a sack of quarters.

[Allison Rosen]

Can you imagine if you were like late by five minutes though?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that's the thing. Like how good are these friends? You know what I mean? Because you wouldn't be cutting it that close if it was that sort of thing. Right.

[Jim Florentine]

The other family in the room, they go, here's some change. Feed the meter in case I'm late.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Jim Florentine]

You know, they do that just in case.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. And my argument is, would you want to return to a world where you did not have enough friends and family who gave a big enough to feed the quarters in your life support machine?

[Allison Rosen]

I guess not.

[Brian Bishop]

No, it takes care of itself. Thank you. Now, where were we? Oh, thanks. Yeah, I was drinking Jim's Mangria Sorry, Jim. Yeah, that's yours.

[Jim Florentine]

I've never had Mangria before.

[Brian Bishop]

Enjoy it, enjoy it. You'll enjoy it. Now, only one, because you got to drive back to New Jersey tonight.

[Allison Rosen]

I know a Tupac Shakur, Broadway.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't tell me he's dead too, because you're gonna destroy my night.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm sorry, but it's as if he'll be alive again because there's a Broadway musical inspired by him that will be be happening this summer. It's called holler if you hear me. Although I feel like it should be holla, but it's hollering, holler if you hear me. It's inspired by the lyrics of Shakur. And it's going to be having a run at the Palace Theater.

[Brian Bishop]

Let me say this, I'm upset by this and for reasons you probably can't anticipate. Jim, I don't know about you, but, you know, we work hard to put food on the table, you know, to put bacon wrapped cock on the table, right? And you travel from city to city. You're going over to the, you know, well, where was it? Oh, shit, I put it. Yeah, you got to play joke house in Maryland. You're not doing it for your health. You're trying to put bacon rack on the table for your children.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Absolutely.

[Brian Bishop]

I have twins. The bacon wrapped cock doesn't just get dropped off by stork. I gotta go out and buy it. You see what I'm saying?

[Adam Carolla]

Finish your bacon wrapped cock. There's kids in China who would kill

[Brian Bishop]

for that bacon wrapped cock. Now this is one more celebrity that's going to out earn us while he's dead. I hate that. There's a list of celebrities that, that will outearn you every year from the fucking grave. So while they're relaxing and relative, in relative luxury, you're going to fucking McGoobies on a bus and they, they're out earning you that night. It doesn't seem right, does it?

[Jim Florentine]

No, definitely not.

[Brian Bishop]

And you know, they always do the top, you know, five earning celebrities, like, oh, Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley and, you know, George Harrison or whatever, whatever it is the top, you know, whatever. Marilyn Monroe, whatever, you know, would be a much better one if they just kept going just deeper and deeper and deeper. And then they'd go, well, let's see, your school teacher, ninth grade. Where are you at? See, you make $57,000. Agnes Moorhead made more than you and she's been dead for 21 years. They should really have that fucking chart. Forget about, you know, Michael Jackson made $20 million. I wanted to go all the way down to the people with the super shitty jobs. Find the celebrity. She played Andorra in Bewitched. I would love to know this list because there's still got to be residual checks and stuff coming in from Gidget.

[Allison Rosen]

She might still be alive.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I can. I can guarantee that. Sherwood Schwartz, the who invented Gilligan's island and Brady's Bunch, has out earned the two of us the last 10 years, and he's been in the goddamn ground for five of.

[Jim Florentine]

You got a point?

[Brian Bishop]

I do have a point. Those. Very valid point. I would love to find people with the shittiest jobs ever. Find my little laminate and find the C list celebrity who's dead and out earning them.

[Allison Rosen]

That's how you motivate your students.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Yes, Mike Rowe, if you're out there, I think I have a new project for you to get involved in. Just call. Call my agent. Sorry, where were we?

[Allison Rosen]

The Red Hot Chili Peppers will be performing super bowl halftime.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Bruno Mars, who's also performing, invited them. But this article starts Flea and the rest of Red Hot Chili Peppers will jump onto the stage. If I were any of the rest of Red Hot Chili Peppers, I'd wonder, why did they do it that way? Why say flee? And, you know.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I think. I think they like his name. You know what I mean? The rest is like Anthony and.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I know. I just hate my regular name.

[Brian Bishop]

There's no duh regular names. Number one. Also, Flea plays the bass. Like you can see Flea playing the bass from outer space. There's only two things you can see from outer space. See, the Great Wall of China and Flea playing the bass.

[Jim Florentine]

And a lot of times in his tighty Whitey, too, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Like, he's literally. But John Entwistle, the great John Entwistle from the who. That guy played the base and didn't move. Flea plays the. Out of that base. I. He rapes the base.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't really need to hear them ever again. You.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I don't need to hear the Red Hot Chili Peppers ever again. Thank you. Yeah, but you know what?

[Jim Florentine]

Bruno Mars needs them at the Super Bowl. Nobody gives a shit about Bruno Mars. Nobody that watches fucking football likes Bruno Mars. He stinks. I mean, I'd have one song. What is he gonna do to one song three times over? Nobody gives a shit. That's why they needed Chili Peppers. It gets a little star power in there.

[Brian Bishop]

Hold on, let me defend him first. He's black and non threatening.

[Jim Florentine]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll give you that.

[Dan Radakovich]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

It's important. And he can move. When you can move, all is forgiven.

[Allison Rosen]

What's your favorite song of his?

[Brian Bishop]

I like that one where he's singing about his lady friend and you know how he'd like to abstain from having. Oh, no. How he'd like to get with her. You know what I mean? And then he moves. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

That's my favorite, too.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know if you heard about this, but Kraft is warning that there's going to be a Velveeta shortage. And Matt the porcelain punisher said, who some of you may know, said to me, this is just a publicity stunt. He was outraged.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that's why, thankfully, I've been hoarding Velveeta and then I gouge when I sell it. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

Smart.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Why was there a Velveeta shortage?

[Jim Florentine]

There must be for the super bowl, because everybody's going to have the cheese

[Brian Bishop]

they make a run on.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, like last year. They didn't run out just this year.

[Brian Bishop]

Synthetic cheese.

[Allison Rosen]

See, dip season is kicking into full gear.

[Brian Bishop]

Dip season?

[Allison Rosen]

Dip season. Okay, but let me see the seasons of appetizers. You have dip season.

[Brian Bishop]

But. But here's the thing about the Velveeta cheese. It's synthetic cheese. It's limitless. I mean, it comes from, you know, doubt. The old Dow Corning plant or something made in a silo that used to hold Nike missiles. You know, it's not. It's not like we're running out of bees this or cows that or anything like that. It's just all made in a lab. All you need is like a Bunsen burner and a stoner and you can make Velveeta. Right?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, one would think.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. That looks nasty.

[Jim Florentine]

That looks nasty to have a Vita cheese. I'd rather have the. The bacon wrapped penis.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I would. Well, what I do is I do a Velveeta stuffing in the urethra, so I get that burst. I get that burst of Velveeta when I bite into it. Yeah, that. I know it sounds homoerotic, but it's delicious.

[Adam Carolla]

It's such an upgrade over the normal old.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you remember those hot dogs? I think they were called Frankenweenies. Maybe that were. They had something.

[Brian Bishop]

Chili. Yes, they had chili in them and

[Allison Rosen]

they would squirt out.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Did you like them, Allison?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, they were messy.

[Brian Bishop]

They. They. For a while, they tried to introduce one that had Ranch in it.

[Allison Rosen]

Really?

[Brian Bishop]

No, that'd be the one. Could you imagine?

[Allison Rosen]

I. That. I mean, that would. That would probably taste good.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

So the Wolf of Wall street dropped a record number of F bombs. Someone actually tallied it 506. And the figure breaks the record of 435 F bombs for 1999's Summer of Sam.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, I was gonna guess Chidgy Chidi Bang Bang, but Summer of Sam, huh? Really?

[Allison Rosen]

I was surprised by that as well.

[Jim Florentine]

I thought Pulp Fiction would be in there.

[Brian Bishop]

It might be in the top five somewhere. So that is an F bomb every. What did you say?

[Allison Rosen]

I didn't break it down. Oh, I don't have the. I don't have the breakdown of it. But you said it was three hours.

[Adam Carolla]

I was gonna say it does feel unfair. Like a guy who breaks the home run record but plays an extra 50 games. You know what I mean? It's a three hour movie, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

And of course, Scorsese's other movies, Casino has 422 F bombs and Goodfellas has 300. So you receive screeners, right? Yes, my landlord. Neighbors who live below me who are like 800 and 900 years old, respectively, respectfully.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

I can always hear what they're. They watch TV really loud because they're. We can hear what they're watching. So I heard. We're just sitting there watching TV the other night, and I heard Live and Let Die really loud below us. And then I was like, what are they listening to? And then I realized, oh, I think that they. I think these are all the songs from American Hustle. I think they're listening to American Hustle. I think they're getting screeners.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Allison Rosen]

And I think that they were listening to Wolf of Wall street last night.

[Brian Bishop]

How are they?

[Allison Rosen]

I know that you don't know them, but still, how are they getting there?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I got. I got the cool screeners. Finally, I got the Mark Wahlberg, you know, where he. He's the last marine on the mountain with the Taliban and all that kind of stuff. I got the Walt Disney one, by the way. I would never. If I ever got shot, you never fucking hear the end of. Wouldn't be like, I'll rub some dirt on it, bro. I can go. It'd be more like, oh, yeah. I mean, I just did 20 minutes on how miserable I was trying to open a Corona bottle with my bare hands.

[Allison Rosen]

Stoic.

[Brian Bishop]

These guys would get shot, you know, and just sort of get angry. And I don't. I don't know. I feel like, there'd be a lot more whimpering, by the way. You'd hear. I don't think they would put this in the movie.

[Jim Florentine]

Right?

[Brian Bishop]

But if I was up on that mountain, like, surrounded by the Taliban, there'd be a lot of, like, okay, listen, I'm just spitballing here, but what if we threw our guns down and offered to suck their cocks? Like, there'd be a lot of that, you know? Wouldn't be. Let's take them. You know what I mean? There wouldn't. There wouldn't be a lot of, like, you know, when I. When I. When I. When I can't fight anymore, put a grenade between my ass cheeks, and then when they roll me over, I'll take one of them out. There wouldn't be a lot of that. There'd be a lot of. Listen, let's negotiate. These are guys that have needs, obviously. I. I got a wallet here. I got a fucking MasterCard. Maybe we can do something. Like, there'd be a lot of that kind of talk, you know what I mean? My wife baked me some. Some cookies. I got a. Filled with cheese and wrapped with bacon. Maybe they like that over here. Maybe not the bacon. I don't know. I'm spitballing. We're surrounded. I'm just talking.

[Allison Rosen]

Take a principled stand is overrated.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, I'd be a lot of let's, you know, let's give them what they need. Let's see what we can do. You know, he just.

[Dan Radakovich]

All.

[Brian Bishop]

All they did was just get shot. You know what I mean? Which is brave and everything, but I don't feel like I'd be that brave.

[Jim Florentine]

So you'd rather suck their cock than get shot? Like, if you had a chance. There were three Taliban guys go, either you blow us or we're gonna shoot you in the arm.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, in the arm?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. You.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Like right here? Yeah, in the arm.

[Brian Bishop]

Is it my ball cupping arm when I suck cock or is it my other arm?

[Jim Florentine]

It's your other arm.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, okay. Well, then I do it. Yeah, if it's gonna be the other arm. Yeah. No, I'm talking about getting shot in the head. And by the way, the other thing I'd be bad at is not only an actual Marine, but an actor playing a Marine, because when Peter Berg called me and said, you guys need to go to boot camp for three weeks so you can find out what it's actually like to be a Navy SEAL up on a hill with no food, Surrounded by the Taliban. I'd be like, hey, Pete, that's why they call it acting, bitch. I'll just act scared. How about that? Yeah, well, we need you to bond with the other actors. I'll pretend like I like them.

[Allison Rosen]

Christian Bale lost 114 pounds.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah. I don't do that. I want to play a chubby guy who likes boxing. Yeah. With a kind of bad attitude. I don't know. Why does everyone have. They call it acting. It's called acting. Why do you have to get everyone together and send them down a Camp Pendleton three fucking weeks?

[Allison Rosen]

You know, Arguably. Shouldn't we be applauding the people who are acting the most as opposed to actually being it?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, I agree. Those are the real heroes.

[Allison Rosen]

So wait, though, can we go back to something? Blow the Taliban or get shot in the arm?

[Jim Florentine]

I know he didn't really answer the question.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, hold on.

[Allison Rosen]

Blow them.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. I think a lot of those guys are uncut.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay.

[Jim Florentine]

So you'd have to pull it back at the same time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's hot. It's really hot. A lot of sand.

[Jim Florentine]

They probably haven't showered in three weeks.

[Allison Rosen]

But they. But they got long robes. They're more sensitive.

[Jim Florentine]

They lived in caves.

[Adam Carolla]

Goat. Goat based diet.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

They probably don't use baby wipes.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. So there's a lot of variables here. A lot of nuance versus shot. In which part of the arm?

[Allison Rosen]

The painful part?

[Jim Florentine]

The elbow or Maybe both arms. You get shot on both arms.

[Brian Bishop]

Huh? Now, do we videotape this and toss it up on YouTube like a beheading or.

[Jim Florentine]

No, no. Nobody knows. Just between you and the Taliban. That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. This. This is a. This is a non ID blowjob.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And when I come back stateside, when I do my press conference and I go, I'm here, I'm in one piece. I skirted death. I definitely didn't blow anyone in the Taliban, that's for damn sure. Certainly not here because of that.

[Allison Rosen]

Stick to that story.

[Brian Bishop]

Or maybe not bring it up at all. You're probably right. Just probably. Yeah, go right past that part.

[Adam Carolla]

It would probably raise more questions than. Not if you brought it up.

[Brian Bishop]

Good point, good point. Just play that one close to the explosive vest, as they say.

[Jim Florentine]

But then they might question you like, Mr. Carolla, why'd you bring mouthwash to the press conference?

[Brian Bishop]

You need your cock sucked? What's going on here? I probably might start something where I just found out. My God, I've missed my calling my entire life. This is what I should have been doing. You know what I mean? Who knows? It could be some sort of cock domino effect. Knock over the first cock and just boom, there you go.

[Allison Rosen]

How would you realize it? You. It was your calling, though. Like, what would be the indicator? Let's say that this is what you really should have done always.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I think a man knows, you know, how does a hawk know to soar?

[Jim Florentine]

So now.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Jim Florentine]

If you do decide to do it, you say, all right, you know what? I'm gonna blow these three guys now.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

As you're working the one, are you jerking off the other guy to get him ready at the same time? Are you gonna take your time slowly and do one at a time?

[Brian Bishop]

You know, I've been giving this a lot of thought right. Lately, you know, over the Christmas break with my kids and stuff. And really just having some time, really, just to sort out my. My thoughts, you know, is there the day to day, the business, you know,

[Allison Rosen]

you need you time.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I got some you time in, so I was really able to really think about this. I like the. By the way, have you guys ever seen the gang bang porno movies where there's like 128 guys? I always like. I always like that one of the guys wearing like a gorilla head and stuff like that. He's wearing like. He's dressed up like Point Break and they're robbing a bank. You know, he's wearing like Dick Nixon's head and stuff because, you know, later on when he's a super successful cpa, he doesn't want his beautiful young trophy wife recognizing him that he's in this gang bang video. But the thing that's always funny about the guys in the gangbang video, I mean, I've not seen one, but I've heard other comedians talk about them. When they're standing in line, they're doing a move which is not masturbating, but it is something. Do you know what I mean? It's a kind of a. Yeah, keep the blood working. But I'm not.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm not like they're fidgeting with it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

I have no agenda other than staying in a leather, like, phase down here. I like to be in a leather mode.

[Allison Rosen]

Like when joggers are in a light.

[Brian Bishop]

That's. That's the move. I always think of that weird. Like I'm not going anywhere, but I don't want to tighten up and pull something. Yeah, it's a sort of fighter bouncing around. Once you take the knee and you do the cross thing, you know, pop out, cut. Man comes out with the Vaseline. Sorry, where were we? What were we talking about?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, now we're talking about gang bang porn.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Which I've never seen. This is not the time, but I have to ask anyway. Does each person get like a couple pumps and then they move on or how does this work? Is it like a lot of people in line for a bathroom where the speed is of the essence?

[Brian Bishop]

The problem is, is there's no real sanctioning body.

[Allison Rosen]

That is a problem.

[Brian Bishop]

So there's a lot of gals that claim to have the record with like 500 guys, but four of the guys just went around, you know, four different times. So it's not five brand new cocks. It's, you know, 125 of the same old cocks. You know what I mean? Feel free to use this when you're teaching math, by the way.

[Allison Rosen]

I feel like it's got to be distinct. Distinct, different. That's how I would count it.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, we're old fashioned that way. Yeah. You know, we're what you call gang bang purists.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So that's the way our grandfathers would gang bang entally.

[Allison Rosen]

But it's how I was raised to think of it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. And, and, and, and, you know, in, in, in, in. In a beautiful, pure world of gang bang, when guys couldn't, you know, take multiple lapse, that's how, how it would be. But now it's a bunch of guys wearing old timey brass diver helmets and standing in line. By the way, in terms of people recognizing you, don't you think your wife's gonna recognize your. I think she recognized your parts too. You know what I'm saying?

[Allison Rosen]

If there's something distinct about them.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Jim Florentine]

Adam, if you were gonna be in that gang bang and it was like 300 and you had to pick a number and you were like 273. 3. Well, would you just go, you know what? I'm gonna go for lunch. It's gonna be a while. Or would you hang in the line? Maybe you would move up. Maybe, you know, a couple guys crap out. So yeah, you're like 220.

[Allison Rosen]

Or would you be like, could you guys give me a call when I'm up?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I would hope it would be.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a lot of jogging in place.

[Brian Bishop]

It'd be like when you go. When you go to one of those popular restaurants up at CityWalk and they give you that weird pager thing, you know, you'd Go to wampers up at CityWalk, you know, and you'd be sitting there eating your Quiznos, and the thing would start vibrating. It's like, oh, I guess someone came. All right, I gotta take the turkey sub with me. Maybe I can use it.

[Allison Rosen]

Those things always seem so cool and novel to me. And yet a phone can do a million, like, a lot more than just that vibrating coaster. Yeah, no, I'm always looking at it and thinking, are you moving?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And by the way, if I was. Oh, Jim, if you were in control of the vibrating thing.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, forget you'd hit the guy.

[Brian Bishop]

They'd come up. I was just testing it. Yeah, you got about another 40 minutes here.

[Jim Florentine]

It's malfunction. You got a wrong one here. Take another one.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Go back and sit down again. Then you just hit it again.

[Jim Florentine]

You just came in, you know, 45 minute, wait a minute later. Yeah, yeah, it went off. Yeah, there you go.

[Brian Bishop]

And then eventually, when you did hit it, they'd come up. They'd go, jesus Christ, we've been at it for like an hour. Where have you been? Yeah, that'd be awesome. Yeah. All right, where were we?

[Allison Rosen]

Well, here's an article. It sort of relates to some stuff we've been talking about. Five things you'll only eat while drunk. And I'm wondering if you agree with this list. This is from mtv.

[Brian Bishop]

Lips, bacon wrap, cock with cheese in it. So certain pussy.

[Jim Florentine]

Most.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, let's not go blue. We've made it the whole show.

[Jim Florentine]

You're right, you're right.

[Brian Bishop]

We're doing a nice family show, and then all of a sudden you take a turn, you know, with a few minutes left in the show. Sorry, I want to apologize to any kids out there.

[Allison Rosen]

Have you ever done this? Actually eaten garbage? And by that, what they mean is where there's like a pizza box in the trash and you're like, oh, that crust still totally edible.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, absolutely. Yes, absolutely. I'll eat anything. Yeah, but.

[Allison Rosen]

But I imagine that because you've talked about, like, going back for the seas candy that you didn't think you wanted, Right? But that's your own stuff that you've gotten rid of. Like, would you go into someone else's garbage?

[Brian Bishop]

Definitely. Listen, who amongst us hasn't hit someone else's room service?

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, in the hallway. Absolutely.

[Brian Bishop]

Refugees out in the hallway.

[Jim Florentine]

Not even drunk, sober.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, those fries. There's nothing wrong with those fries.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

What do you think? The guy did the fry, dipped it in ky, put up his ass and put it back on the plate. No, he didn't touch it. It's fine.

[Jim Florentine]

Sleeping on a bed where? On a she and a comforter that someone came on about 12 hours before. Anyway.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you're fine. Yeah. Strawberries that are sitting around half that Denver omelette. That's fine. And by the way, if you work the Denver omelet back to front, all you do is stop at the eat line and you're fine.

[Allison Rosen]

Smart. I've always been tempted, but I've never. I've never actually crossed that line. Maybe I will next time.

[Brian Bishop]

Listen, right now we're all sitting here. We all have our own spit and our own mouth. We all have our own pubes on our own junk. And we all have our own crap and our own colon and we're fine with it, Right? What makes you so special that yours is somehow sprayed with disinfectant or somehow doesn't Yours isn't special. Who gives a shit, Allison. Yeah, yeah. Your shit doesn't stink. Hell yes, it stinks. Who cares about your room service and all this shit? I get into it, I eat my kids shit, I grab it right out of their fucking mouth.

[Allison Rosen]

Also on the list is the cheapest vending machine item.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah, sure, that's fine.

[Allison Rosen]

An entire package of mints. Like Altoids.

[Brian Bishop]

Drunk.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I don't. I don't. You know, I.

[Jim Florentine]

Only if you get behind a wheel, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Again, you're following the drunk guy. But you're drunk.

[Jim Florentine]

Or you. Yeah, you're gonna drive drunk, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Pimix. Like, oh, Pimax pumpkin out of a can or something.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Pie mix. I. I have done sober. When I used to babysit, I would open a can of Pimix, dump it in a bowl and put like Toll House morsels and mini marshmallows and all like. Like I was insane. Stone raccoon. But I was 14, right? Spoon it. Spoon it into your mouth. Remember when you used to eat with complete reckless abandon, like it did not matter. You were, you know, 111 pounds. You were 14 years old. You were skinny as. And there's nothing you could eat that would ever change that. And you could just open up cans of pie filling. That's what I used to do with when I. When I would babysit my neighbors neighbor's kid.

[Allison Rosen]

More importantly, didn't you also eat out of Ray's pantry?

[Brian Bishop]

I ate a. Remember Sees. I'm trying to think of the weird shit I've eaten. Remember See's candy used to do the giant Easter egg? Yeah, I See's candy giant Easter egg that had been sitting on my friend's windowsill that was half eaten, still in the box. I ate that thing in like August, maybe September. I mean, it'd been at least four months of sitting in the sun half eaten on the box. Listen, I'm not fucking exaggerating one iota when I tell you I've told the story before. When I was doing Kevin and Bean at KROC out here in Los Angeles, 1994, Jimmy Kimmel pulled a piece of Canadian bacon out of a, you know, McBreakfast Burger. Put the. Whatever put. Put a safety pin through it, put it on a cork board in our producer Frank Murphy's office, wrote the date under it, and one year later to the day ate the Canadian bacon. And now he's the king of late night. So maybe you guys should be. We're laughing about the. With the bacon on it, but maybe Jimmy was on to something now, did he.

[Allison Rosen]

Why did he do that? Not that it's not a great thing to do, but what was the thought behind it?

[Brian Bishop]

You women don't understand what makes men great.

[Allison Rosen]

Apparently you understand.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like saying, why would you do a push up? You know, you have blood goes your head, right?

[Allison Rosen]

I'm asking the wrong question.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it makes you better for other things. It makes you stronger when you go to battle. You see what I'm saying? Women have a lot of. Why, because your buddy got drunk and passed out. Why would you draw a huge. On his forehead? You ask a lot of stupid questions.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm sorry, you understand why, but you

[Brian Bishop]

understand why you're only getting $0.72 or a dollar?

[Allison Rosen]

No, it makes perfect.

[Brian Bishop]

Because you don't engage in this behavior. You don't reach for greatness.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I've never, I've never wondered, could I eat Canadian? That's been on a year.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you don't do. You don't engage in that kind of behavior. But it's part of the gene that makes us great. The reason we have the Golden Gate Bridge, the reason man has set foot on the moon. Not woman, man. Once in a blue moon, we try to throw a chick up there, the whole thing blows up. I don't mean to be insensitive. I'm not saying she did anything wrong. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. Huh?

[Jim Florentine]

Somebody yelled out too soon?

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, across the line. Across the line.

[Jim Florentine]

We gotta. You gotta wait another six months to do that job.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm saying it was three years ago. Man eats the bacon, man draws a cock on the forehead, man puts his Foot on the moon. You understand the man? Man does. That's our gene. Don't ask us why.

[Jim Florentine]

Man blows three Taliban guys so he can see his family.

[Brian Bishop]

Works the other one with a hand. Man. Yeah, man. But the point is, is whoa. Why go the moon? There's nothing up there. No Velveeta on that moon. There's nothing happening up there. We got none of those screener movies up there.

[Allison Rosen]

You can get alien fresh jerky down here.

[Brian Bishop]

They're bringing it down here. Why? Why? Why? That's the thing. Because why? Ask Jimmy Kimmel why. That's what makes him great. It's a fucking warrior. He ate that bacon like a warrior.

[Allison Rosen]

And it went well for him.

[Brian Bishop]

Listen, it turns out we can do a lot more than we think we can in terms of consumption. He ate a piece of Canadian bacon and it was completely fine. One year later, and after hanging on God knows what, I must have wiped my ass with it five times during the break. Either way, Jimmy consumed that piece of Canadian bacon and he. He's the king of late night. What else do you want me to tell you? Sorry. Let's bring it home, baby girl.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Alison Rosen. Zip it, cunts.

[Brian Bishop]

That was the news with that Allison Rosen. Listen. What? Sally Ride. She was a school teacher, right?

[Allison Rosen]

I thought you're thinking of Krista McCullough.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, Chris. Yeah. Either. Well, either way. Either way. What I'm saying is, is don't get in that shuttle, sweetie. You stay here on terra firma. You mold minds. You understand? I want to see you go up in a ball of fire there. You know what I mean? No, I know it's a little soon, but what I'm saying is, is she was school teachers. What I'm saying. You know what I mean? So.

[Allison Rosen]

You hear that? Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a. It's. It's. There's some sort of. You know. I mean, the odds go up in a bad direction. That's all I'm saying. Let's. It's just. Why don't you stop talking for. All right. Maybe it's just. Okay. It's too soon. It's just too soon. You guys know. You did know what I wanted to do with this. The space shuttle's down. You know we have it here.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Right? It's out here.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

We.

[Brian Bishop]

We towed it with a Tundra truck all the way out here. By the way. It turns out it's not that hard to pull super heavy shit on wheels. There's always some strong man competition he's gonna tow a 747. He's gonna use a bit they put in his mouth and some guy with huge calves starts leaning into it and he turns out a Samoan dude can tow a 747 from shitting his mouth. Like, I don't know how it works. I think. I think that's the wonder of the wheel. Another thing a dude invented, by the way. Canadian bacon, loosely shaped on the wheel. Something else I think we invented. But either way, the. The tundra pulled it, pulled it across from LAX or whatever, and they dragged it off and they dropped it over at the space museum. If you want to go out after this. I know a guy. Where was I? Ah. Whenever we do the live shows, everyone says, you know what? I want to hear a live read, ace, man. And I say, no, no, man, I'm here for the people, man. I don't sell out. And they go, do it, man. Do it for the people. And I say, fine, but only if it's go to meeting. Start your new year off right by working smarter with GoToMeeting. Brought to you by Citrix. You can increase productivity, improve communications, cut time and money wasted in travel, man. I mean, my God, the East coast, it's brutal. I couldn't get out of Burbank. I couldn't imagine what the east coast is like.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah. It took me five hours to get out here, and it's Gonna take me six to get to Magoobies Joke House January 30th of February 1st.

[Brian Bishop]

I tell you, you could do your whole set from here. With GoToMeding, you wouldn't have to go to McGoobies over there. You can share your screen and collaborate with documents and spreadsheets with other valued co workers. And you can try it for free. A 30 day free trial. No credit card required. Visit GoToMeeting.com Click on the Try it free button. Use the promo code, Adam. All right, where were we? Ah, Mexicali Live, Magoobies Joke House in Maryland, all coming up January 18th, and then January 30th through the first, the podcast. Sorry, Throw that out, Jim.

[Jim Florentine]

Comedy metal midgets up on itunes once a week. It's up there. So check that out. And that metal show next Saturday night, January 18th. M shadows from event Sevenfold, Zach Wilde and Ted Nugent's gonna be on this year. This season, Motor City Madman, Mick Mars from Motley Crue. So we got a good season coming up.

[Brian Bishop]

Check that out. Enjoy some Mangria, available Corolla drinks, shop Amazon and all that good stuff. And until next time, this is Adam Crow for Jim Florentine. Allison Rosen Ball Brian saying mahalo.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that's Adam Krilla show 1237 with Jim Florentine. Coming up next, we have adam Krilla Show 1250 featuring Dr. Drew in studio along with Dan Radakovich, Allison Rosen, and Brian Bishop from 2014.

[Brian Bishop]

At first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light, and I was transported to another place. Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands, thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free. Truth is that it's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe, Arrow, the 100, and the X Files may cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV stream now. Pay never. Oh, Riley Auto Parts. Yeah, Love that jingle. Oh, oh, oh. So they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. We know that. They're also, you know, I don't have too many car issues. Usually I can figure them out, but if I can't, I go to O'Reilly. And they got all the stuff there, mostly stuff for me because the new stuff's like a computer. But my vintage cars, man, I can get a lot of parts from O'Reilly. They got thousands of parts in stock either in store or online, so you never have to worry about if you get in a jam. Also, they'll test your battery for free, and if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. It's O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Dawson, stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us@O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam. Allison Rosen will be walking in momentarily because unbeknownst to her, we started the show a little bit early because Drew's got to catch a flight. And of course, the bald one, Bald Brian is here.

[Allison Rosen]

Where's my penis?

[Brian Bishop]

I thought we could take this opportunity since Brian is here and Dr. Drew's here.

[Adam Carolla]

Alison's not here to ruin everything.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. Do a little update on the tumor and maybe walk us back through how it began and some of the New listeners and where it began and this story of Brian and the brain tumor which is on the stem.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And I want to point out I have read an advanced copy of Brian's book, and it is so fucking good. And I don't want you to give too much of the story away, because a lot of it's in the book.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

If you're really interested. The book Chronicle. I'm telling you something. Yeah. I read people's books occasionally. They really catch me, and this one did.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you so much, man.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I really appreciate it. I'm gushing because it's that good. You need to read it.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks. All right. Let him tell the fucking story.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's good because we take it for granted that so many listeners have caught on maybe in the last year or two years or six months or whatever, and they don't know the whole story. So right around the time you started the podcast, it was just you and a microphone and whoever would come in, a guest or whatever. I was diagnosed with a brainstem glioma that is a brain tumor on my brain stem and initially was given six months to. A year to live. I mean, that was the first prognosis.

[Brian Bishop]

Allison is here, by the way.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

This is my fault. It's my fault. I have to catch a plane in, like, 30 minutes. So I'm sorry about this.

[Allison Rosen]

No, this is my fault.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

My request.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm telling a story, everyone.

[Brian Bishop]

It's her fault for trusting him and

[Allison Rosen]

believing I never should have loved.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. And loving. Sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

So, yeah, diagnosed with the cancer and

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

went a little past love, too. We had a lot of stuff going on.

[Brian Bishop]

All right. Diagnosed with cancer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And then you. You know, you were one of my first phone calls because I was supposed to start work on your TV pilot a few days after the fact and obviously couldn't do that because I was going to go into treatment right away. And one of your first phone calls was to Drew, because Drew is a medical expert and as a doctor in media, doesn't just know about his specialty, but has to know about a lot of different things.

[Brian Bishop]

So, yes, Dr. Drew and Dr. Bruce are my two doctor friends. And so they're the first two guys I called. Drew, I don't know if you can remember verbatim what you said when I explained Bald Brian's plight, but if you could give us the, you know, the Reader's Digest version of it,

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Brian accurately reflected in the book. But it was basically. Oh, shit. Basically. Oh, fuck.

[Brian Bishop]

Now, I've heard Oh, shit before. From Dr. Drew. It was the time my wife asked me to ask about her friend with ovarian cancer, Jennifer. Dr. Drew said, you know, well, that's a death sentence. And I said, there's nothing. Can you give me something I can come back to Lynette with other than death sentence for her 33 year old friend? And he said no. And that was that.

[Adam Carolla]

He was very directed to the point.

[Brian Bishop]

So I was basically. Well, you called 0 for 1, or what do you call it, 1 for 1 with Dr. Drew for a miss. That person's dying, that young person is dying, and there's nothing we're gonna do about it.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

But I don't think I was that adamant about Brian. I said, there may be some new stuff and hopefully, but this is okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Nia gave a. Jennifer was. She's gonna be dead in six months and Brian was probably going to be dead in six months.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a glimmer of.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, to be fair to Dr.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Drew, that's probably about right.

[Brian Bishop]

But I learned to listen to Dr. Drew when he gave those kinds. Look, we hear there's a lot of fucking people out. We've heard a lot of people we've worked with. And so, oh, his wife has. And his only has another. And 10 years goes by and they're fucking fine and everyone's got Bullshit. But when Dr. Drew says, here's what's going to happen, you tend to listen.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

So I think, really, to be fair to me, I said it's like, this is rare, which it is. And it's unusual and the stuff isn't good. Which is what they told you at first when you went to the first doctor. Yeah, yeah, they did. But there was new stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

There was.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank God there wasn't new stuff that you knew about.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

No, that was the problem. No, I didn't.

[Brian Bishop]

And Bruce didn't know much about it either.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, actually, no. Brian is the new case, to be fair. I mean, he's. He is the new outcome.

[Brian Bishop]

So tell us about how the wisdom of the Orient.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of herbs, a lot of

[Brian Bishop]

boiled herbs, because you store toxins.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Once I got rid of those goddamn toxins, it was all good.

[Allison Rosen]

Did you also cut out gluten, though?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Coffee enemas?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that all worked.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Only juicing juices.

[Adam Carolla]

It's really all. It's a whole factor. It's a spectrum of treatments. I mean, you know, not. I mean, longtime listeners of the podcast will know that things got much worse before they got better. You know, I. I would come here on a walker And I was pretty unintelligible in the book. I do mention how grateful I am to you for inviting me back when I really. I really had no business being on the microphone. You could say that now too. But at that time, seriously, I had no business being on the microphone.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And to slow down, you really need to read the book because Brian says some very lovely things about you.

[Brian Bishop]

I shall read this.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You will not see words like that printed about you anywhere.

[Adam Carolla]

Mostly physical description.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait a minute. I didn't write books.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

He asked you for. Oh, I can't talk about that.

[Adam Carolla]

Save some surprises for the readers. So anyhow, loading. To the test subject type thing. There was a recently approved drug at the time for colorectal cancers called Avastin. It's not exactly chemotherapy, it's sort of a super steroid, but it effectively works to stop new blood vessels from growing. And they found that it's effective not just for that, but for other kinds of cancer, namely brain tumors. Brain cancer. Brain tumors. And they. Hadn't it only been approved for brain tumors for a few months?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I'd never even heard it being used for that. I heard it for it was looking good for colorectal cancer, but I'd never heard of it for brain cancer at that point.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I mean, this is the beauty of science. And half the stuff I feel like that was invented, from superglue to Velcro to whatever seemed like it started off for something else and then found out it was going another direction, which is a good thing. But as I always say, it's why I don't mind the drug companies getting rich. I know there's an evil side of the drug companies, but there's a part of me that just wants this guy, so fucking greedy and thirsty and hungry to go out there and invent the next pill that's gonna save bald Bryan. Even if they don't give a rat's ass. Like when people go like, well, they don't care about bald Brian. They just want to get rich. Fine, fine.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like a fair trade.

[Brian Bishop]

They want a third yacht. Fine, yeah. By the way, the guy who waits at your table, he also wants a third. Yeah, he doesn't care about you. He just wants his paycheck. And the person that gives you the massage or the person that fixes the muffler on your car, your transmission, sometimes even your therapist, sometimes, most often your therapist, your doctor, your fucking gardener, they don't care about you. They want a fucking paycheck. And then they'll go home and mow someone else's lawn.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, is that a metaphor?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah. Back to oral sex.

[Adam Carolla]

Back to the medication specifically. It's so new in the history of treating all this stuff that I'll constantly ask my. So I started off getting it every two weeks. It's an infusion. It's an IV infusion. I got it every two weeks, and it immediately helped me feel a lot better. They dropped me down to every three weeks, then four weeks, then six, and now I'm at every eight weeks. And every time I ask, the doctor will say, you're doing good.

[Dan Radakovich]

You're.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, people tolerate it either really well and like, you, or they don't tolerate it really well and they don't make it. And he's like, you're tolerating it. Fantastic. So we're gonna drop you every eight weeks to extend the life of this, this treatment. And I'll say, what, what, how. What's your experience like with other patients? How does that work with, you know, people who've been dropped to eight weeks intervals?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And he goes, you're it, we're it. You know, your case.

[Adam Carolla]

1 don't know. And we'll ask about, you know, Christy and I are thinking about maybe having a kid at some point, you know, maybe IVF or even naturally, if it's possible. Because Avastin is not a chemotherapy. It's like a super steroid.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Your sperm is fine.

[Adam Carolla]

And so we'll say to the doctor, like, what, you know, what are we. Just to be safe, cover all our bases. What are the stats? And he's like, no studies, not yet. Which is crazy. Like, usually there's something. He's like, no studies. You're just flying blind.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I will tell you, though, when things go weird, good or bad, they tend to keep going that way. Just clinically, that's sort of my real rule of thumb. It's like, when things start unraveling, they keep unraveling, but when things go well, they kind of stay good. So that's the good news.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that makes sense. So now you're responding to this. It's an inoperable tumor.

[Adam Carolla]

So there'll be no surgery.

[Brian Bishop]

It's on brainstem, and if it grows, it's a death sentence.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Drew can probably illustrate this more, but they illustrated it to me as. It's on the brain stem, which feeds all the nerves to the rest of your body. So if it swells and blocks what is essentially a drain, then you, you know, everything stops working.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Right. That's the key, is that it's not like you're going to be quadriplegic. It's that you don't breathe, you don't function, all the vital functions get suppressed.

[Allison Rosen]

So when you feel any weird sensation, do you get nervous?

[Adam Carolla]

There was. There was a time, maybe a year and a half ago, two years ago, where I was feeling a little, I don't know, just a little off. And I was like, oh, shit, here we go. And MRI was fine and everything checked out fine. And it was like the doctor said, you know, if the tumor does. If anything goes wrong, you'll be the first to know. You'll know before the MRI because it's so incremental, you'll feel anything. So I'm very hyper aware of it, but I feel good and knock on wood, you know, live my life and what. What's a better, you know, tribute to the. To the doctors and the medicine and Christy for, you know, all that she's done than to just live my life and, you know, and live as well.

[Brian Bishop]

So just to backtrack a little bit. So this tumor, which obviously you don't know about until it starts affecting your speech and a few other things.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I was getting, sorry, numbness around the lips and like on my scalp and stuff. Little things.

[Brian Bishop]

What to me, what was a bad harbinger for me was I kept saying to Dr. Drew and bruise, well, obviously it's growing because he's having symptoms because he's had it for. For some time. And so now he's getting the numbness in the lips and the slurring of the speech. That is happening because it's moving, it's on the move because Dr. Bruce said his sister had the same thing, exact same tumor did.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

And by the way, she's still alive, which was a huge, you know, beacon of hope for me at the time. I was like, oh, she's been around for 10 years. It's fantastic.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Crazy.

[Brian Bishop]

He didn't know that story. No, it's crazy, but it's not moving.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's just stationary. Did it ever move, like one of these things? Just.

[Adam Carolla]

I talked to Bruce about it and she had the whole treatment and everything. Obviously, before Avastin came around, she had standard chemotherapy and the radiation and fought her way back, you know, to recover.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It just stopped it. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And so the. But my thing was, well, obvious this thing is, you know, the first report I got was it's on the move because that's why he's having symptoms. And then the second report was there's really nothing for. Was, you know, Drew and Bruce's report was sort of. They didn't know about this Avastin stuff. So they were sort of like, well, there's chemo and there's radiation, but it doesn't really respond to it, and it's inoperable and it's on the move, and if it keeps going, then that'll be a death sentence. So to me, it's like, well, I was doing the math. It's on the move. Of course. On the move. So then the idea was, you got to get the mri and they have to measure it. They have to fucking go metric on our ass all the fucking time. I swear to God. You guys with the centimeters and the millimeters, blame Napoleon, okay? No, I blame you. And it's the same thing the pilots do with the knots. Knock it off. You love it. It means it. You get to be superior a couple of centimeters since last time agreeing with it. We all have to sit around and go, oh, shit. I guess he's the expert, because I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.

[Allison Rosen]

Didn't you take an oath saying you wouldn't do this to us?

[Brian Bishop]

If he said his first con hair, we would understand. I know what that kind of growth is. Yeah, no, it's a better system.

[Adam Carolla]

So it was about 4 by 6 centimeters.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What is that in inches?

[Brian Bishop]

All right, 10 centimeters per millimeter.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah. All right, 10 millimeters per centimeter.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, 10 millimeters in a centimeter.

[Allison Rosen]

Can I have a Trapper keeper?

[Brian Bishop]

All right, 10 millimeters in a centimeter. There's about 25 point something millimeters in an inch. So this thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Half an inch, four by six centimeters.

[Brian Bishop]

Four by six centimeters, approximately.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Oh, four by six.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah, that's bigger. That's a lot bigger than an inch.

[Dan Radakovich]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Because 4 centimeters would be 4. 40 millimeters, right? Yeah, 40 millimeters is an inch and a half plus here. Yeah, 40 inch and a half plus. And that's a small direction, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. That's not a 3D picture they took. So they got a basic.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

The six. Four by six. Have you said, oh, four by six?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, six is the big side. Four. I mean, that's big.

[Allison Rosen]

It's like an almond in a shell or a walnut.

[Brian Bishop]

No, we're getting into hazelnut territory here. No, in terms of balls, it's bigger than a golf ball.

[Adam Carolla]

Think about that.

[Brian Bishop]

It's. It's.

[Dan Radakovich]

We're.

[Brian Bishop]

We're getting bigger than a golf ball. Gary can check my metric SAE math, but I believe a golf ball Would be somewhere in the 35 millimeter range and. Or 40 millimeter range. least all the way around. And this is 40 by 60 millimeters because we're doing the oval golf ball.

[Adam Carolla]

So serious size.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, so anyway, if it doesn't stop. I was way off. It's 42 millimeters.

[Jim Florentine]

Damn, you are off.

[Brian Bishop]

I said 40.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

How dare you.

[Brian Bishop]

I was eyeballing golf balls.

[Adam Carolla]

We can fix that in post, but

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Brian Cronkle's in the book, so.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait a minute. This is a golf ball. Hold on. This is a golf ball and a golf ball and a half.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a fucking big thing to have.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold it up against the. Yeah, back here.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, it's amazing what your brain can tolerate. That's one of the interesting things. You know, and maybe the size is what.

[Brian Bishop]

It's amazing what you're. Well, if you had a barber, because when they do that, they get the strop out with the let they fucking. Anybody would have went, whoa. And why not? I'm charging extra for the sand dun.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's a leather strap.

[Brian Bishop]

I've said it a million times. It wasn't a straw. It's called a strap. It's a strap. The other strap.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, anyway, back to the tumor.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

But maybe the size is what helps respond to the chemo because it needed blood to keep this big thing going.

[Adam Carolla]

Certainly possible.

[Brian Bishop]

That is a big thing to have in that place. And you see how things that size get lost in the 400 pound woman's abdomen, but the 180 pound dude's neck.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, and by the way, in the brain stem, which is 65 millimeters across.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, it's a narrow funnel.

[Allison Rosen]

But it didn't actually. Nothing protruded from your neck.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

No, it's in the skull. It's inside.

[Adam Carolla]

It's inside your.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, that's the danger. And it's in a closed space. There's no room for it to pushes.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So they have to give you the MRI and the CAT scan and then they have to measure it. And then they measure it again.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep, yep, they do the whole thing.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Has it shrunk?

[Adam Carolla]

Shrunk significantly. Yeah, by more than half. But to this point, to this day

[Brian Bishop]

now, the next measurement they were gonna do was how far away from the first measurement.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. So they did the measurement initially, you know, late April 09. And then within a few days they started treatment, radiation and chemotherapy. And then they did.

[Brian Bishop]

So you remember when you called me to tell me you got. It was April 09.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I have the day I figured out what day it was and everything. And it's in the book. Yeah, I wrote about it.

[Brian Bishop]

And I remember it was about five, six in the evening. I sort of remember it was a

[Adam Carolla]

Thursday night, and I was supposed to start working on Monday.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So anyhow, they do the measurement maybe a few months after treatment ends, just sort of see what's going on. But as they explained to me, and Drew can probably elaborate on this, it looks like scrambled eggs. It just doesn't look right on the mri just because of everything that's been radiated and all the chemo. It just doesn't look right. So they can't tell much, but they do it anyway, just for a baseline. Then a couple months after that, in October, that was the big. You know, that was the big, did this work? Is this all working?

[Brian Bishop]

Kind of stuff. My take was if they measure it again, so to speak, and it's grown, then Brian has six months, basically, if

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

it's moving even just based on the data of the old radiation and chemo approaches six months on average, even with chemo radiation.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, no, I'm just saying what Dr. Bruce and Dr. Drew said to me was, if it's growing, then that'll be that very fast. So I knew then when you took your second measurement, I don't know, it's like an NFL lineman weighing in. If you're 301 and a month later, or three, six months later, if you put on weight, you're cut. Yeah, I knew if you'd put on. It'd be. That's what it would be. And thankfully, I think the second one, it either stayed. It held.

[Adam Carolla]

That was a dramatic. It was a dramatic shrinkage.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, it was the title. It was dramatic. The first.

[Adam Carolla]

No, the first was in, like, August. And I didn't tell anyone about it because they were like, it's not going

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

to look like the second one. The second one.

[Adam Carolla]

Second was the first one you heard about. So when I say second, it's really one that I was very excited about and spread the word and was like, hey, good news, everybody. Shrunk by about half. And it was a very, very joyous moment. My mom was there, Christie was there. We're all very excited, nervous, of course, and wrote about that. And just the uplifting effect it had on my family and me and my wife and everyone.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I mean, it's pretty much somebody's gonna walk in from another room with a white lab coat on and a piece of paper. You're gonna take a look at that guy's face. And that guy's face is either gonna go, you're gonna live or you're gonna die. Like, he's basically gonna say. He's gonna pull open a clipboard and go, if that thing grew, then he's gonna tell you to start making arrangements. Right?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It was a girl. It was the physician assistant, but she walked in. We' the doctor is looking at the mri. He's on the screens in another room. The girl, his assistant comes in, sees me and my mom and my wife looking very nervous. Pins and needles. And she just walks in the room, thinks she reads the looks on all our faces. And she's like, hey, guys, you want to see the mri? And we're like, yeah. And she's like, MRI looks good. Come on. And I was like. It was just the pin prick. Just let all the pressure out of the room. I was like, oh, looks good. We didn't know what to expect, which.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Adam keeps interrupting him, trying not to let me talk about the book. If he knows Brian well.

[Brian Bishop]

No, but I wanted. Shut up. I wanted to. You're doing it again. I wanted to get his story.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I just want to say that things occur to me that he highlights in the book, as this is chronicled in the book pearls that you really. I would recommend to patients reading the book, because he gives pearls about dealing with the system and dealing with the ups and downs of the emotionality of these experiences. You're describing tumor tips. Tumor tips. And they're very. You know, most books have that kind of shit. It's like, all right, these are really helpful. Well, I would recommend it to patients.

[Brian Bishop]

First off, Brian's probably smarter than most of the people. They're just randomly stricken with things.

[Adam Carolla]

Take that, victims.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And number two, you do wonder about some of the nutballs who say they were on death's doorstep when they were really sort of death's dog walk, maybe the front lawn, but not on the store step. You know what I mean? Like I said, we've talked a lot of nut jobs that were dying, quote, unquote, had a. Something that they could call something. They beat it. But there wasn't that much to beat.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like when the movie 5050 came out, I was like, what I wouldn't have given for 50 50. It would have been fantastic.

[Brian Bishop]

This is compelling because Brian is smart, a good writer, but also because this is a real deal situation, not a, let's see if we can sell some books by inflating. Whatever. That's right.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And he's thought about it and He's. Did you write it as you were going through it, or was it retrospectively?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it's retrospectively. Although I had. You know, Christy kept a blog during the time and just to keep track of what. Because, you know, when you're radiated and chemo on top of that, you're pretty fuzzy. You know, things aren't super clear. I remember things, but I was, like, looking through Christy's blog, I was like, oh, yeah, that happened that day.

[Brian Bishop]

What's the protocol now?

[Adam Carolla]

Now I. They call it maintenance mode. And I'm on every eight weeks. I'll go in for an infusion of Avastin. And that keeps the tumor at bay, supposedly, you know, that's the thinking. And now, you know, getting on with the business of living my life. I'm going back to the gym or to the gym today, because I'm. People see me like, oh, you're all better. Oh, you're all better. I'm like, I'm 90 to 95% of the way, you know, you guys.

[Brian Bishop]

But you're back to cruising dudes.

[Adam Carolla]

That's exactly. That's exactly right. And I would like to do that on a more regular basis with Allison.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm not a doctor, but if you. If you didn't just stay in your street clothes and you actually got out of the locker room and worked out a little bit. Again, I'm not a doctor, but I know that that's from a cardiovascular standpoint.

[Jim Florentine]

Obviously.

[Adam Carolla]

Good for your morale, too.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

He gets a pretty good workout in that block.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah, the stunt. I got a sauna. All right. So all that can be chronicled in shrinkage. And you can pre order it on Amazon, Dr. Drew. Feel like as long as you're here, we should ask you. And I know you got to make a flight, you got to cut out pretty soon, but, oh, I don't know, Justin Bieber and things like that. I don't know what's going on. I must pause because I'm so used to calling the Biebs or the Bieber or whatever. But you're a Bieber or whatever. Yeah. What's going on?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Not clear. My fear is that this may be the beginning of addiction. And if so, if this is just the question we're looking at is the question is, is this just a kid that has incredible money and power and didn't have the usual developmental milestones that the rest of us have to go through, like Ray dumping shit in your ear, that kind of thing? You know, the usual dumping, calling you shithead and Chasing you mashed it. Mashed shit in your ear. Calls you shithead.

[Brian Bishop]

You pack it. You do a wheel bearing.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Shit packing. Yeah. You became into that after that, and he didn't go through these milestones, and now he's just acting out. It's a developmental problem or is this addiction? And, you know, ciserp and codeine is in the picture now. Now Xanax in the car. Now alcohol, multiple drugs. You gotta wonder if this is the beginning of addiction. If it is, he either has to have treatment or there's gonna be more really serious trouble coming, and we should be concerned about him.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, Drew, as a man of science, don't you think the media should be sort of looking and going? Like, for instance, if you found out his dad was a recovering alcoholic, you'd be right on it. Right. Right there. And if you.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, Mom's recovering a drug addict.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, his mom.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

She had a suicide attempt. She was on drug. It's not really clear if she's an addict or an abuser, but she identifies as an addict.

[Brian Bishop]

She does.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that's something.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yes, it is.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, obviously, the news is never interested in that part of it, but to me, if we're trying to figure out whether a guy's experimenting with something or possibly has a real addiction, let's just go back a couple of years and see what moms and pops are up to. And we'll get a pretty good idea of where this kid's heading. So, to me, mom identifies as an addict.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

If I remember right, that's. I believe that's accurate. I mean, she makes a lot of her substance use stuff, and people say she identifies as an addict. Let's say that anyway.

[Brian Bishop]

And what's the new hot drug and what's going on? And what do you think's gonna happen in Denver and Colorado? All this legalization stuff.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Allison, New drug is Meow Meow? Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Meow Meow.

[Allison Rosen]

Hasn't Meow Meow actually been around for a while?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yes, in fact. Nice.

[Allison Rosen]

But what is it?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's mephedrone, which is basalt, basically. Some of basalt is mephedrone. Some of it is that MPDV stuff, and whatever the abbreviation is. Methyl, polythalerone, Valerone, whatever it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Shouldn't you know this?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I should. I always have to read it. I always have to look. Methyl.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm still stuck on club drug Molly.

[Brian Bishop]

It's just.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, that's yesterday's drug.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

So, again, these stuff, these things, Bath salts. I can understand why anybody would experiment with that shit. I understand why they get hooked on it and they get going with it. It's like it's a methamphetamine type drug with sort of hallucinogenic properties. But why somebody would go for that? Usually they're going for the synthetic cannabis and the bath salts to avoid urine drug screens. Somebody's testing, oh, they want to do something and everything else gets picked up. So they're going for this shit.

[Brian Bishop]

Uh huh. So yeah. So what you're saying is I want to get altered and weed hangs out the longest in your system? Basically, yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And the synthetic stuff that I can't even test for.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you used to say that coke is in and out of you in like a day pretty quick.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Most 72 hours for sure, but usually 24 hours. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And methamphetamine? Same.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Little longer. Little longer.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Well they can see the scabs where you've been picking at your face and the. But sadly and weirdly sort of the most benign of the drugs, which is marijuana is the one that's like the most detectable.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Sticks around. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Stays in your fat cells and hangs out the longest.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

We should gotta bring Joe Rogan here. We all talk about this sometime.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I had a very. I had a very watched inside the NFL or whatever it was. Oh no, no, I think it was real sports. And they did a whole thing on jocks and X jocks and. And medicating themselves with marijuana.

[Adam Carolla]

Footnote. Were you surprised how surprised Andrew Kramer was at prevalent marijuana use? You're like, how many players use this marijuana?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, 90%.

[Brian Bishop]

First off, it's kind of bullshit journalism because it's like when I would see Barbara Walters do one of those 48 hours or 2000s or whatever she would do and she would say, and then they took your teenage son, he was off at football camp. And they did. It was called teabagging. It's a hazing. Teabagging. What in the world is it? Teabagging? And I thought, well, wait a minute. Hey cunt, somebody produced this bit and told you what teabagging was before you did the bit. Because you get coached up by the producers. What happened to the kid in those production notes? It would say he was teabagged. And that's when you would say, what the fuck is teabagging? And then they'd go, it's when the guy drops his balls in the other guy's mouth. And then you would know. So you do know you're lying. And they have. There's a part of Hold On a second, whenever I hear any of these stories, I go, oh, shit, that was a weekday. For me, Ray and Chris, teabagging was an honor to be teabagged.

[Adam Carolla]

What are we going to say besides teabagging?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And what would be lost if Barbara Walters was like, so teabagging. That's when a player dumps his balls in your son's mouth.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Know it well, I've discovered by researching what happened here, amazingly, these guys were

[Brian Bishop]

dropping their nuts in your mouth. I have found that a lot of people in the media have to, first off, act like they've never heard of any of this shit. You know where they do? They'll do that thing where they'll go, where did my grandmother not hear of rim job? Yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Announce it at the dinner table.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, at the dinner table. Yeah. But they'll do this. I'd never heard of it. So it's a sort of holier than thou. Like, I don't roll around in the muck with you scum buckets. I'm up here. So it's like, oh, I don't know what this thing is, and I've never heard of it. And I would. And then there's a part of somehow they don't want to. They act like if they've heard of it, they condone it. And they'll do that thing where I don't use that language, or I've never heard of this kind of thing, or I don't, whatever.

[Allison Rosen]

Which is funny because they're supposed to be in the business of information peddling, so they should have been exposed to more than anyone.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Of course they know it.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. But they try to pretend like they're not. So Andrea Kramer's like, marijuana cigarette. And you say that people who play in this NFL, they smoke these marijuana cigarettes.

[Adam Carolla]

They ingest this drug somehow via marijuana.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. They would never go, oh, yeah, we used to do it all the time in high school. Or half the guys on the team or half the guys I dated, or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's a bullshit holier than thou naivete. And again, it's a naivete about, you're the journalist, you're the one. By the way, you drop it. When it comes to, you know, oh, Iraq is being invaded through Afghanistan, and they're coming through in C130 airplanes. All of a sudden, now you're an expert. So you're an expert on shit you're really not an expert about, but shit you do probably know about, you have to do. But it was a very compelling Story about how a lot of guys who play in the NFL smoke the weed. And it seemed to help a lot with their pain management.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Oh, that's interesting. With the Vicodin and the oxycontin.

[Brian Bishop]

No, instead of. No, instead of. That's way better. And then they got this doctor on there from Strudeldorf or something, and he did the. I can't stand the fact, you know, every time they do that thing, we go. You know, we basically have the same brain as a mouse. Why can't it be a dolphin or something a little more noble? You know what I mean? King cobra. You know something? It's always a mouse. And the mouses with traumatic brain injuries, the marijuana actually helped them. Helped correct. So they're doing this thing on concussions and corrections and things like that. I know it doesn't sound. It sounds insane, but that's what. Published papers on it. But basically, what they're saying, because cannabis

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

is a neuromodulator, so it makes some sense that it might upregulate certain things.

[Allison Rosen]

Think about the person whose job it is to give a concussion to a mouth. What do they use?

[Adam Carolla]

You send them over the middle.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That's right, Mallet.

[Brian Bishop]

Ronnie Harrison blows them up as they go across the middle.

[Adam Carolla]

Not in my house, mouse.

[Brian Bishop]

Not in this habit trail, bitch. He gives a big speech. This is our habit trail. That's our sawdust. This is our fecal matter. And they grab a handful of people and they throw it up in the air.

[Adam Carolla]

Nobody comes onto our wheel, Roger Rabbit.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Rodents don't get concussions.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah. All right. So they. Very compelling stuff. And basically what sort of Andrea Kramer was saying to the head of the NFL, Whatever drug and testing. Whatever is.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Look, why test for this?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. These people. These guys are getting the shit kicked out of them on a Sunday. They're going home on a Sunday night, and Monday morning, they hurt bad. So seeing how they can't sit up in bed and they're so busted up, what would you like them to do? Smoke marijuana or start going on the oxycodone or the OxyContin or whatever oxy they're getting into, or Percocets or whatever. Because that's what they're getting into now, either way. So it's this thing we always talk about, which is why I don't want them to do any of it. And it's like, yeah, but the guy can't get out of bed. He got blown up across the middle. He was concussed. His neck is all fucked. Up. So he's going to do something. It's going to be beer, it's gonna be oxy, it's gonna be something or a combination of three or four things. But if the pot works for him, why not?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's the insanity with which people approach drugs, which. Well, there's a good drug and a bad drug. One is a bad drug. Oxycontin is a good drug. Well, that's bullshit. It's just chemicals and how they affect our physiology. That's it. And just because something. By the way, this is the part I want people, everyone, to kiss my ass on. Just because something is illegal. Excuse me, Just because something is addictive does not mean it should be illegal.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You know, it just. Alcohol is addictive. Illegal. No. Yeah. Coxycontin addictive. No. We use it. We use it all the time. No. So this business about marijuana. Oh, it's not addictive. It's not addictive, therefore it should be illegal. That's a ridiculous, ridiculous argument.

[Brian Bishop]

Or legal.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It should be legal.

[Brian Bishop]

Should be legal because. What do you mean?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It should be legal because people want

[Brian Bishop]

it to be legal. That's all right.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Period.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And that's the end of that. And then whatever the consequences are, we'll see in Colorado, Oregon and the other states that adopt it.

[Allison Rosen]

And.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, look, I can tell you right now from all the horror stories I've seen, if my son said he had to manage pain because of a football injury, would you like him to smoke marijuana or get on any of these oxys? I would say marijuana.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You know, interestingly, unless he's under 18, because there's some.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, then it's not really chronic pain. There's something else going on.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, chronic pain is such a complex thing, but yes, opiates and opiates. It's a great, great sort of fucked up history with opiates. California Medical Society came up with sort of a, like a encyclical opinion paper. And they're like, well, we have it. There's absolutely no evidence that opiates are effective in the treatment of chronic pain. Therefore, we need to monitor the prescribing better. We need to make sure these bad patients don't overuse this ineffective treatment.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

How about we don't get people to stop prescribing that shit for that or use on a very short term basis, and that's it. So, yes, cannabis, far superior.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, you heard it from Dr. Drew. Not for everything Dr. Drew does podcast right here on this network.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Two of them.

[Brian Bishop]

What are you talking about? Well, I was gonna say does one. And we do one together as well. I have no idea.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

But people are not aware that you and I are doing podcasts again, that we're together.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, now I'm here to tell everybody what we're doing.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, honestly, probably everyone listening is

[Brian Bishop]

aware, I would hope, but they can always tell a friend. And by the way, speaking of pain management, DDP yoga man, Diamond Dallas Page and his yoga boy. This is another one of those stories we saw. Same show, amazing results and a lot of guys that were broken up badly doing pro wrestling, overweight, strung out on pain meds and all kinds of compression stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

He's going to make that rebound is amazing.

[Brian Bishop]

Unbelievable. It's no Joke. It'[e-mail] Adam and my listeners get a special discount if you'd like to support us and support Diamond Dallas Page. And just the work this guy's doing, man, out of his own living room with these guys that basically threw their bodies away to entertain you when you were 11.

[Adam Carolla]

The least you can do.

[Brian Bishop]

It's the least you can do. You can get the grid and you can plan your workouts. A nutrition guide, a reference poster with the 12 core positions that make up the DDP yoga workout. And it's all [e-mail] Adam. Adam. Or you can go to AdamKroll.com and click on the banner and get this limited time deal. But let's not delay. Let's be healthy. Let's be happy. And again, real cool guy doing some really, really cool work with yoga. And it's not weird grandma yoga. It's pro wrestling yoga. All right, we'll take a quick break. Yes.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Two quick things before I go because I'm going to have to go a. My podcast is also [e-mail] there's none

[Brian Bishop]

of that on any thing. Am I not looking? Oh, I'm sorry. I screwed up. Yeah, Gary's right. I want to apologies on your piece of paper. The reason I screwed up is because Drew doesn't feel like a guest. He just feels like someone who hung out here from before. Yes, you should. Me and Dr. Drew. New episodes Thursday and Saturday. Itunes and website and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. So Saturday here

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

and then my doctor dot com. I'm going to try to step that up soon to more frequent episodes of that. We were doing three. We were doing three at once, weren't we? At one time. Three a week.

[Brian Bishop]

Who, you and me? Well, Gary, at one point.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, I'm going to try to get it back up to that again or something close to that. And please watch HLM program too at six and nine o' clock on eight. We have a lot of fun with that. And one day maybe Adam will show up on that show.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

He's been a conscientious objector to our show.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Fucking Hank. Producers.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

One last thing before I go. I mentioned to Allison there was an article in the New York Times last Sunday. I think in the. Not the style, but the review or something. No, it was in the paper part and long article, sort of in response to the Dragon mom stuff. Trying to figure out what makes a successful child. And if I remember the synopsis, basically what they were saying was a. There were three things. One, be able to delay gratification, mean work hard, work your ass off and not.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, yeah, for something better. But don't take the 1m and M now, wait for the 5mms tomorrow.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Delay. Number two, deep sense of insecurity and inadequacy. Not high self esteem low. Yeah, and then there was this part I didn't understand. They didn't really get into it deeply, but. But at the same time, some sense of connecting to exceptionalism. Whether you come from an exceptional background or exceptional culture, an exceptional something, some belief in the exceptionalism of your opportunity or the country, something like that. They didn't get into it, but it was a fascinating idea. That's one you and I have never touched on.

[Brian Bishop]

I read that article. I thought it was interesting and it was basically how you become successful.

[Dan Radakovich]

We.

[Brian Bishop]

We get into way too much of where you came from and what color your skin is. Instead of these core principles because they work across the board, they don't seem to. It doesn't seem to matter what color you are or where you're from. It's just, boom, here's what is effective. And it's not all just, oh, Asian and white people. There's the white losers. There's no Asian losers, to be honest. But there's folks with plenty of pigment in their skin that are kicking ass using these core principles and they jump all over the map. So it's completely and utterly. It's the opposite of what all politicians tell you. Exactly.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Gav Newsom said this, didn't he?

[Brian Bishop]

He said this, he said that. No, here's the deal. It's interesting because low self esteem, meaning nobody owes you a living, it's not gonna work out. High self esteem in the exceptionalism part is, I'm going to make this happen, right? I Am Manifest destiny. I'm going to make this happen.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Even though I'm a piece of shit, I'm a part of something.

[Brian Bishop]

No, it's just I identified with it very clearly, which is, you are a talented person. You have a lot to offer, and you could do well. I'm talking to me.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm listening.

[Brian Bishop]

You could do well in this society. Is anybody going to recognize that? Do you think anyone's going to tap you on the shoulder and go, hey, we want you to host our comedy night? No, you're not going to get any of that. And if it comes down to a coin toss, you're going to lose. So, yes. You feel that you could be doing great things and be exceptional. Does that mean it's going to happen or that anyone will recognize it, even in your immediate family? For me, I knew it. It was a deafening no. So that's what it is. So every time your family took you

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

out and gave you awards and took you to dinner and celebrated that, which is Adam.

[Brian Bishop]

No, but every time.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

All those experiences.

[Brian Bishop]

The problem is we have a bunch of fucking people who feel the opposite. They feel like I'm great and they have nothing to offer.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Right. So the world owes them something, and

[Brian Bishop]

it doesn't work out for them.

[Allison Rosen]

All successful people grew up with this feeling of, just wait till they see. Like, I will show everyone.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Have that feeling of, here's the deal. The only way this is ever going to work out is if you make it work out in timestamp.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I think a little more of that. It's a little more like I'm a piece of shit. So I better start working. I better work my ass off, and if it works out, great, But I got to work my ass off.

[Brian Bishop]

I think it's more like, I know I'm capable of it, but I also know no one else knows and no one else cares. No one cares.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So I'm going to have to go out there and prove it to them. Not by yelling it at them, but by proving it. All right, Dr. Drew's hitting the road. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Dan Radakovich]

Hey, Adam, I was listening to your Dr. Drew podcast about delayed gratification. Well, a year ago, I started volunteering at my church doing sound because it's something that I love. And almost a year to the day, they said, hey, I want to start paying you for what you. You do here. So now I make an extra 800 bucks a month for a job that I love and a job I was always doing. Thanks, Adam.

[Brian Bishop]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Oh, righty. Sorry.

[Allison Rosen]

Can I just say something real fast in my throat? Yeah, I. I just had a tiny glimmer of what you've experienced for years, Adam, which is the doctor Drew, on your point thing. I do love Drew, but what was up with the.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's more than that.

[Allison Rosen]

Allison didn't appreciate that.

[Adam Carolla]

We all noticed it. We're all still thinking about it.

[Allison Rosen]

I know he could have just added his point. He didn't have to take a little swipe at me on his way there.

[Brian Bishop]

His instincts are horrible.

[Adam Carolla]

The gall.

[Brian Bishop]

He's. Gall. He's got. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Galled.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't. Don't take it. Don't take it personally. He's a mess. I don't even notice anymore with him.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I'm a piece of shit, so I better start working.

[Brian Bishop]

But he does. The other thing he likes to do is rush and get to the end of your story. He has an anxiety or something. I've stopped trying to figure it out. So I tune it out now.

[Allison Rosen]

Now, unfortunately, I notice it, but I still love him.

[Brian Bishop]

You're not. You haven't built up a callus.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

So you feel raw. Yes. All right, Coaches on the phone. Dan.

[Dan Radakovich]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks for calling in, by the way. Dan Radakovich, legendary coach and player, some history and. Well, Dan, I have your. I have your history here, but why don't you, if you don't feel too badly about it, could you brag about yourself and what your contributions have been to the NFL in the last 40 years?

[Dan Radakovich]

Yeah, yeah, I'm willing to brag. I first. My first job in the NFL was in 1971 with the Steelers. And I had been a linebacker coach at Penn State and a coordinator at University of Cincinnati before then. But then when I went to the Steelers, I applied for the defensive line job.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. When you were at Penn State. That was sort of the beginning of the Linebacker U tradition.

[Dan Radakovich]

Yeah. I started linebacker. I started lineback. Yes, I was. There he is. And then I had a tutor, my replacement, for a month before I left.

[Brian Bishop]

And then it's off to the Steelers. Now, 71 would have been before the Steel Curtain, before the Super Bowls, and right about the time Bradshaw must have got there shortly thereafter, right?

[Dan Radakovich]

No, Bradshaw got there before. He got there in 707. Joe Green. The big draftees were. Joe Green got there in 69. Chuck, Noelle's first year and Bradshaw got there in 70, and I got there in 71.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a good year to get there. So you're doing defensive line coaching at that point?

[Dan Radakovich]

Yes, yes. I changed the whole line around. I got rid of three of the starters. Three of the four starters. I didn't mess with Joe Green, but I got rid of the three of the other four starters.

[Brian Bishop]

Was. Was Mean Joe Green actually mean?

[Dan Radakovich]

No, he. In fact, he doesn't like the word, but he was an awfully good football player, you know?

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Dan Radakovich]

Yeah, we all thought that. We all thought that the nickname fit him because, you know, he made a lot of plays. You know, Mean Grove Green.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. And Elsie Greenwood and.

[Dan Radakovich]

Yeah, and Elsie Greenwood. I put him on first string. He'd been sitting the bench for two years, and. And Dwight White was a rookie, and I put him on first string right away. And then they held a radio contest in the middle of the season. The defensive line was playing so well that the announcer for the Steelers called the radio. No, no, it wasn't Myron Cope. I can't remember right off the hand who it was. I have the book here. But anyway, he held a radio contest for the name of the Steelers and Steel Curtain won. A young kid about 13 years old, he won a trip to see the Steeler Miami game in Miami.

[Brian Bishop]

They had a lot of good. They had Franco's Army. I'm trying to think they had. I mean, it was a time when everybody showed up in the stands with a banner and an army helmet and they just had a section in the.

[Dan Radakovich]

That was the next year. 72.

[Brian Bishop]

So you get the Steel Curtain going, and then at a certain point, you move on to my LA Rams.

[Dan Radakovich]

Yeah, I made a few moves before I went to the LA Rams. You know, I went from the Steelers to the University of Colorado, where I joined, you know, Augie Tamarella, Mike August's dad. And then I came back to the Steelers and was the offensive line coach, and we went to first couple Super Bowls.

[Brian Bishop]

And what kind of guy was Mike August? Father, I mean, always eating.

[Dan Radakovich]

Augie was a high, energetic, very, very, very motivated, very energetic guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Gotta eat a lot to get the mother going.

[Dan Radakovich]

A lot of enthusiasm.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you see a young Mike Tamarillo or Mike August as we know him, running around back then?

[Dan Radakovich]

I'm not sure. It'd be hard for me to say. I haven't watched Mike coach yet.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you see a young guy eating and doing really bad bookings? We can probably narrow this down.

[Dan Radakovich]

Well, they were so young then. I can't remember that one. They were really young. You're talking 1972.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Yeah. So the Buffaloes, I think Mike was Cliff Branch playing then.

[Dan Radakovich]

No, Cliff had just graduated. He had just graduated. The big thing of the year I was there is we beat Oklahoma. We were the only team that beat Oklahoma in 72 and 73.

[Brian Bishop]

When did you make the pilgrimage to the Rams? The super bowl?

[Dan Radakovich]

Rams in 74. 74. I was offensive line coach at the Steelers, and I'm the guy that invented the lockout of the hands on running pass, blocking. And we went right away to a couple Super Bowls.

[Brian Bishop]

The offensive line of the Steelers were the first guys to tuck those sleeves in and start doing the curls and the preacher curls and get those guns. They were the first, in my opinion. I'd never seen the offensive lineman's arms hanging out, tucked in tight so that the defense couldn't grab them and throw them around.

[Dan Radakovich]

Yes, I did that.

[Brian Bishop]

That was your innovation.

[Dan Radakovich]

That was my innovation, yes. And the tailor was. The equipment man's mother, who was a seamstress, was our tailor. And so we had all the jerseys tight, tailored as tight as they could be and still be flexible. And then I had two way tape and put them on the shoulder pads and put the jerseys on top so that when you grab the jersey, it couldn't slide.

[Brian Bishop]

It's really. It's commonplace now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You see the guys now it's cut that way. Offensive lineman jerseys go up to the arm, like above the armpit.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. It's also a diabolical way to make sure your guys are always working out. Because it's like, Allison, if I said, sorry, new rules. Dolphin shorts every Wednesday. You have to work out.

[Allison Rosen]

I have to.

[Brian Bishop]

You have to. These guys. It wasn't a coincidence that the only team in the entire NFL that had their jersey sleeves sewn up and pulled tight around their upper arms were also the guys with the biggest arms in the league. They quickly went, oh, shit, I better do some curls, because those.

[Dan Radakovich]

It won four Super Bowls in six years. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. It seemed to work out pretty good for those guys. Yeah. And then, of course, the Rams unfortunately lost, but with some legendary guys. And the fact that you coached a team that had two guys who started on defense, one of them was named Jim Youngblood and the other was named Jack Youngblood. Couldn't even put Jack Youngblood. I've never known another human being named Youngblood. Except for that Rob. Oh, is it Rob? What's his name? Movie about Rob Lowe. Movie about playing hockey. I've never Known any other Youngbloods in the NFL before or after? Just turned out there were two guys named Youngblood and they both had the first initial and they both played defense for the Rams in 79.

[Dan Radakovich]

Yeah, both were very good players. Both are very good players.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I know. I love me some Jim Youngblood because. Or Jack Youngblood. I like both the younger guys. Like, I had a broken leg, I played the Super Bowl.

[Adam Carolla]

Rub some dirt on it, taped a magazine around it.

[Brian Bishop]

I love that. Yeah. So, Dan, the name of the book, by the way, Bad Rad Football Nomad. This is available, by the way, on the website, right?

[Dan Radakovich]

Yeah, the website is the nameofthebook.com. you just add.com to the name of the book. It's badradfootballnovad.com and it's just 40 years

[Brian Bishop]

of playing and coaching and everything else.

[Dan Radakovich]

50.

[Brian Bishop]

50 years. Well, you know, you always round down.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't short change.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't want to feel. Feel old. Tell us anything funny you can think about Mike August, dad, or Mike Tamarillo's dad.

[Dan Radakovich]

Oh, man, you caught me on a surprise one there.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, his name was Augie, thus Mike August is his middle name.

[Dan Radakovich]

Right now I just can't think of anything.

[Brian Bishop]

Ever molest any boys in the shower or anything like that?

[Dan Radakovich]

No, no. Augie and I, we were. We were good friends. And he's, you know, we've been friends for a long time, and he's the one who recruited me to go. To leave the Steelers to go to. To Colorado.

[Brian Bishop]

Why? I don't call that a friend. Why would you leave one of the best organizations in sports to go to Colorado?

[Dan Radakovich]

Well, at that time, it wasn't considered one of the best organizations in sports. And the Steelers, you know, we blew a lot of games that year, and I was a little disappointed. In pro football, for example, we lost the first game of the first league game of the year to the Chicago Bears, and they didn't have 100 yards of total offense, running and passing, totally. They only had 90 yards, and they beat us 17 to 15. Special teams, you know, it was traumatic. We had some traumatic losses, and we would. And the Dolphins, who ended up playing in the super bowl, we had them 21 to nothing, and then we lost 22, 21.

[Brian Bishop]

So it was frustrating, frustrating years. Any young Terry Bradshaw stories?

[Dan Radakovich]

No, not that I. Bradshaw.

[Brian Bishop]

Can't wait to read this book.

[Dan Radakovich]

Bradshaw, you know, he was for us. You know, he was a great quarterback. And the stories about him being number that are not true. You know, Bradshaw, he called all Our plays. You know, quarterback then called all the plays and. And he audibled and he did the same thing that you see Manning doing on tv.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I don't know why.

[Dan Radakovich]

He wasn't as good an actor as Manning. You know, he wasn't as dramatic. But in fact, Manning got the system was taken by one of the Steeler coaches, Tom Moore, who coached Manning in his early years.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I think. I think with Bradshaw, he just fit the part of the yokel. He played the part and also literally playing the part in Hooper and probably three other move. Three other movies where he played like a hick. You got to find us. Find us him from Hooper and then him from like gumball rally or whatever, Cannonball Run. And it probably didn't help his public Persona. Dan, thanks so much for calling in the name of the book Bad Rad Football Nomad. And you put the dot com at the end of it and you can get it. By the way, say hi to Augie for me, would you?

[Dan Radakovich]

Okay, I will.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you, Dan.

[Dan Radakovich]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I think he showed up in Hooper. Underrated Hal Needham movie. I think it's a Hal Needham movie. Oh, Hal Needham died recently. We're talking about it. Stunt coordinator guy started directing action movies and stuff like that. Didn't really have much of a script to go off of. Just would get Burt Reynolds and tell him to go fast and smoking the Bandit and all that kind of stuff. And ah, there's. That's the Palomino, by the way, about a mile away from where we're sitting.

[Allison Rosen]

Looks an awful lot like cheers.

[Brian Bishop]

These would be fights and honky tonks. Terry Bradshaw is one of the first big quarterbacks, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, for his day.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, they used to be like fruit box and all I can hear is your mouth clapping. What you say, son, I'm a mighty. I said, I got 50 cents in

[Dan Radakovich]

that jukebox and all I can hear

[Brian Bishop]

is your mouth flapping. You hear that, Terry? Now we figure you US 50 cents.

[Dan Radakovich]

You guys mounted down, huh? Houston. Oh, yeah. What are you doing here? Convention. Convention? What kind of convention? Convention.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, we got it there. There used to be. There used to be work. If you wanted to shave your head and do a few curls, you could work in Hollywood. In all, you know, you'd be. Oh, I was in Beretta Y5O. Like, you're always the muscle, the enforcer standing behind the guy. The guy was wearing the nice three piece suit. You'd be standing there with your arms folded. You know, you'd Be the guy saying, don't get any ideas. I don't know why.

[Adam Carolla]

You get a lot of work saying,

[Brian Bishop]

yeah, I would like to say, by the way, when they do that thing where they would take the senator's super cute daughter and they'd go like, all right, now listen, you stay here tied to this bed. I'm gonna go make us a pot of pasta over there and there. Don't get any ideas while I'm gone. I always wanted to go, oh, all right. Cause I was thinking about sucking your dick. But all right, forget it. Forget it. Now you're right. Right out of my head, it's gone. I'm not even thinking about it anymore.

[Allison Rosen]

Someone telling you not to get any ideas really makes you get ideas.

[Brian Bishop]

No. Get any smart ideas. They want smart ones either.

[Allison Rosen]

That's why I'm doing ma.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, none of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Speak of smart ideas. I want to compliment you on your timely and tasteful joke about child molesting in the showers to a guy who coached at Penn State.

[Brian Bishop]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Linebacker.

[Brian Bishop]

You listen. I could tell he was only listening with half an ear. Why not? Yeah, I know he went to Penn State, but why not? I wanted to get some dirt on Mike's dad. Yeah, the football player stonewalled us.

[Adam Carolla]

He has not come up on the show to this point.

[Brian Bishop]

Mike's dad, he was a pretty substantial football coach. He was traveled around and coach at a college level, but some pretty good teams, and that's what he did for a living. Although sadly, unfortunately, before those guys really got paid, now they realize, oh, it's more about the coach and even the player sometimes. So let's just pay these guys and we'll get Nick Saban and we'll win a bunch of championships.

[Adam Carolla]

Was he a head coach or was he, like, coordinator?

[Brian Bishop]

I think he was. You know, these guys always go for, he was the coordinator over here, and then he was the head coach over there, and then he went back to whatever, you know, over here. But at some point, head coach. All right, Allison, shall we? Oh, geez. We got a couple of phone calls. We got some news. Why don't we power through a call or two, and then we'll hop on some news? Mike45, Philly.

[Dan Radakovich]

Hey, what's up, guys?

[Brian Bishop]

What's going on, man?

[Dan Radakovich]

You know, I privileged to hear most of the podcasts, and I was. If you'll indulge me, I want to change my question based on Brian's story.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

All right. Nope.

[Dan Radakovich]

So, Brian, if I remember correctly, and unfortunately, I knew some people who had Similar situations. You. You froze your jizz just in case, right?

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Then I went to a firm too and did it.

[Dan Radakovich]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what, what's the Jiz security situation? Did they FedEx it back? Is it out on the black market? I mean, do you have security on that?

[Allison Rosen]

What are they doing? Package is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I can't imagine what price it would fetch.

[Dan Radakovich]

No, I went to USC and all. Podcast Superstar, all that crap.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Wow, that's a good point. Uhm, I went to the sperm bank before I started treatment. Obviously once the, you know, chemo and radiation starts youryour sperm or if you're a woman, your eggs are pretty inviable at that point, at least while you're doing treatment. So. Yeah, I froze somesome samples with the idea that, you know, we'd have a kid. You know, God willing, I get. Well, we'd have a kid someday. And we're kind of at that point now.

[Brian Bishop]

Or at least during the dog days of summer, you know, when you're really looking to cool down. Brian doesn't have a pool at his place.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true.

[Brian Bishop]

There's nothing more.

[Allison Rosen]

Refreshing.

[Brian Bishop]

Refreshing. That's right. That's right. What I do is I'll drop it into a drink and just like put a slick on the top.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you do to your lemonade?

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. Now we know. All right, thank you, Mike. Thanks for changing up your question. Your Mangria question. Focusing on Cheers. Appreciate that. That's how I get rich. Hey, Sam. Seattle.

[Dan Radakovich]

Hi.

[Brian Bishop]

What's going on, man?

[Dan Radakovich]

I just had a question about if you're going to do an audiobook for president. Me. How long do you want that audiobook to run?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I imagine I will do it because I'm probably contractually obliged to do it. And you know, I don't want to jinx myself, but it is so far as long or maybe longer than my last book. So hopefully we'll get to the eight hour mark. I'm only laughing because I just. I see things coming way down the highway and then I start making noises as I say about it. And I don't think I brought this thing up once with Dawson and Dawson did a great job. It sounded great.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, Sam, you're a dick, by the way. Yes. And there's many variables. There are many variables in this equation that I never factor in. But I said, Dawson, give me an over under on how many times. I said, if we get close to eight. Eight or nine.

[Jim Florentine]

Eight or nine times.

[Brian Bishop]

At least I Think I said if we're getting. If we end up at 7, 22. 7 hours and 22 minutes, fuck it. But if we're getting close to 8 hours, let's get there. Let's get there.

[Allison Rosen]

You're like someone who's cursed with the ability to see the future but powerless to change it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, I am. And I don't factor a lot of things in, and there are always circumstances, but I do have a pretty good sense of, here's what we're doing, I guess. Well, bigger picture. If you're going to do something, what are you doing, why are you doing it, and what are your options? Well, we're doing an audiobook. Okay. There's plenty of accordion room inside of this thing because I'm riffing on so many subjects that it's never going to be just a set length. If it was, oh, I got Liev Shriver just to read it verbatim, which I am gonna do with my. No, if that was the situation, then that would be one where I'd go, well, it'll end up what it'll end up. It'll be 6 hours and 28 minutes. Or it'll be 7 hours and 11 minutes. It'll be what it'll be. But I knew since there was so much room for that, that why not say, just like we talked about with Jon Tapper? Oh, wait, is it John Taffer, bar rescue. Sorry, Taffer. Taffer. We're talking to Jon Taffer about how everything is 9.95 and nothing is 10:05. There's just a psychological thing where you go, 10, oh, 5. That's a little rich for my blood. 9.95. I think we could swing that. 10 fucking cents and you sell 10 times more units. I just thought, if I'm going to charge 21 bucks or 19 bucks or whatever it is, have it be eight hours. Let's have it start with that eight. What we don't want is start with the seven and 59 and whatever minutes. So I just kept saying again, what are we doing? What are we trying to do? What are our choices? And then what's really involved between doing effort wise, what's the difference between doing a book that is 7 hours and 54 minutes, an 8:02, another 20 minutes of me sitting in that booth three years ago that I forgot about already, you know what I'm saying? So what do you want to do? Like, where are you at? I mean, you should kind of approach life that way instead of a. Well, I'm just Going to read this, you're going to record that, and then it will be what it will be. So what I do in life is I try to find those little what are we trying to do here? Moments. And then I try to spot them out. And then I also realize that no one else is on board with this plan in life, for the most part, not many that I've met.

[Allison Rosen]

What do you attribute that to?

[Brian Bishop]

I attribute it to. Two main factors. Not knowing and not caring for the most part. Which is it's not their book, it's my book. So they don't a think the way I think. But number two, what do they give a shit for? I mean, it's honestly, they're getting paid some set amount of money to do whatever it is. It's usually in their mind, less than what they deserve to do. Whatever it is, no matter who it is and what you're doing, it's always, all right, I'm working a little more than I should for a little less than I could. And so their attitude is just, let's just get through this. And so I don't expect them to care. You know, I have the conversation with Lynette all the time. She goes, I told the gardener, he doesn't give a shit. You, it's your house. You gotta go.

[Allison Rosen]

Sadly, see, you're more comfortable with the way that people don't give a shit about you and your projects than I am. And I think that's more realistic. Cause I always just assume everyone should care about everything as much as I do, which is. You set yourself up to be disappointed that way.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you do. You are. And then you're also a hypocrite. Because I have to ask myself this. Dawson is doing plenty of interesting avocado based projects. At least three as we speak. He's got a new guacamole that actually comes in a brick.

[Jim Florentine]

It's like Brickell.

[Brian Bishop]

It's Brickle. I've said too much already. But the point is this. I don't find myself spending lots of time thinking about. No, Dawson has a lot of projects. He does a lot of engineering. He has a nightclub, music club, and so on and so forth. Honestly, how much time do I spend thinking about Dawson?

[Allison Rosen]

Shit, the most ever right now.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. This is it. So how can you, without being a hypocrite, go, well, they should be looking out for me when you're not looking out for them. Now there's the part where you go, well, I am paying him to do X amount and this is paying anyone to do X amount. They will look out for you because you're paying for them. But they're not gonna sit up at night going, how do I make Allison shit better? Just like you don't sit up going, how am I gonna make Dawson shit better? And we all. It's a part of sort of narcissism that you need to remove from the equation, which is don't expect other people to either do more, know more or think more about your shit. And by, by all means, don't take it personally when it doesn't happen. So I'm well aware of that factor. And like I said, I'd be a hypocrite if I expected them to do that. They, they're not and shouldn't. So I see it, I understand it, and that's why I try to head it off at the pass. And sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But in general, people go through life. This isn't you, Dawson. Thanks, boss. I was devastated, by the way, when lynch first informed me of the time of the audiobook. I was completely crushed. 7:59 and, and 30 something 56 seconds. But you know, for the. I think it was like, I think it was like 28 seconds because ironically, if we got to 31 seconds they would have rounded up to eight hours. We were into the 45 minute plus range before I started editing. I know. And that's when I should have checked it, at the end. That's where the shit happens part. Understood. I understand that people in general think about themselves, but so do you and so do I. So you'd be a hypocrite to ask them to sit around and think about you and your shit all the time and you're not thinking about their shit.

[Dan Radakovich]

It.

[Brian Bishop]

Thus you have to be very specific with people. And in terms of people going through life, most people just kind of go and they don't ask a lot of questions and they don't stop. But I mean, look, look at the percentage of people who go into retirement with no money. You know, that's them, that's their life. Who go into retirement without adequate healthcare, whatever. You fill in the blank. A car that fucking is less than 14 years old, you know, whatever. Most of the people I know don't have things set aside for their kids and their college and the health and the retirement.

[Allison Rosen]

You can't expect them to do for you what they're not doing for themselves.

[Brian Bishop]

That's certainly, certainly a fact. And to expect that they are going to somehow become super efficient and super thoughtful when it comes to you. When they're not even taking care of their own dental hygiene. Not you, Dustin, but their own dental hygiene is sort of insane. Don't think that way. They don't care.

[Allison Rosen]

And again, so hire people based on their teeth.

[Brian Bishop]

They don't not.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the lesson here.

[Brian Bishop]

They don't. It's. The lesson is nothing personal. Not in a bad way. Just nothing personal. They're here thinking about their shit, just like you're here thinking about your shit, just like you're thinking about your family and they're thinking about their family. So. And bigger picture, nothing personal with the government either. Don't expect them to fucking jump in and edit your book or take care of your retirement. They're going to fuck that one up too. So lesson take care of your own shit. Because nothing personal means nothing personal good. And nothing personal bad as well. All right, where were we? Ah, should we do a little bit of news? Yeah, let's get into a little bit of news news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison, Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with zip it cut. It's Allison Allison.

[Allison Rosen]

Obama's State of the Union was Tuesday night. It was a speech that was a little bit over an hour. Most people agree that it was a good speech. Regardless of whether they agree with his points or not. People do believe he is a good orator. So I'll get into some of what he said. But first, a lot of people have been tweeting us. He mentioned patent trolls. He didn't use the word trolls, but he sort of spoke on the issue of patent trolls. And we have a little bit of a little clip right

[Brian Bishop]

There are entire industries to be built based on vaccines that stay ahead of drug resistant bacteria or paper thin material that's stronger than steel. And let's pass a patent reform bill that allows our businesses to stay focused on innovation, not costly and needless litigation. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Both sides of the aisle.

[Allison Rosen]

If something was paper thin but stronger than steel, imagine the paper cut you would get.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, my God. We're gonna have to stop using steel, by the way, for our sort of go to strength thing.

[Allison Rosen]

What should we go to?

[Brian Bishop]

Kevlar and things like that?

[Adam Carolla]

Adamantium?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, we're gonna have to figure out something. It's a little more modern, you know, the carbon fiber stuff, you know, composite stuff, space age stuff. The steel is Very turn of the century. You know, we've come out with titanium and things like that. But good. I'm sure it all happen after I'm gone, but good.

[Allison Rosen]

We could also get rid of making reference to sliced bread in cliches.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

It's been a long time since anyone's really gotten excited about sliced bread.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, since sliced. Not since. Or whatever the fuck this cliche is. You know the thing about all this stuff with every politician, every time, it's always like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. And then we just go back to whatever we go back to. But I like the part, you know, I like when they get specific. In this case with the patent trolls. I like speeches. If you think about it, you know, they do a thing where they go, they go, oh, that was a great speech. Or this guy's a great orator or whatever it is. I would like some sort of specific meter on speeches now. They'll do a thing where they'll do the Pinocchio thing where it'll go, well, this was kind of a fudge number. This was a little bit of a lie or whatever. For all politicians, I would like to. The ones where you go, you know, children of the future, I want to reach across the aisle. I want to focus on getting this country back on its feet and running those kind of cliches and platitudes. Like, I'm always like, okay, I want to know within each speech, I didn't see the speech that any politician makes. How many specifics? Like, how many ones? Rigo, here's what I'm doing about this because I feel like there's a lot of broad, strokey, big picture. No way. Who's ever gonna argue with, you know, when someone goes, children need a first rate education. So we compete, compete internationally. Who's gonna go, that's bullshit, old man.

[Adam Carolla]

They should be dumber, unassailable.

[Brian Bishop]

But when somebody goes, I'm gonna institute a plan for vouchers where kids can have vouchers and attend the school of their choice using the voucher. Then you go, okay, that's super specific. That's not the broad. I believe, children of the future, that's a specific plan for whatever you're trying to implement. And that's what I want. And I believe if you took almost any speech that almost any politician has given over the last 20 years and you distilled it down to that, you'd probably be in more the 7 to 9 minute mark in the. Than the 60 minute mark.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, Distilled it down to its. Its essence.

[Allison Rosen]

When I was in high school, I did some. I don't know if it was like, mock city council or mock government or something, but my little group's bill was mandatory AIDS testing for doctors so that they wouldn't accidentally infect a patient, which I thought we did really well. Personally. My contribution, amazing. However, we were beaten by the group that wanted to do mandatory CPR training for high school students. And it's like, that's when I realized what you're saying, which is, well, that's completely not controversial at all. Who's gonna argue against cpr? We went out on a limb.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Allison Rosen]

And we paid dearly for it.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Allison Rosen]

Fuckers.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

So Obama wants to raise minimum wage paid by Federal contractors to $10.10. $10.10. He called on Congress to increase the federal minimum wage for all workers to $10.10 last year. He asked Congress to raise the rate to $9 by the end of 2015. But Congress has not taken that step. So that was kind of a theme that came up repeatedly, which is him saying that he wants to make this a year of action. But there, you know, there is this battle between Obama and Congress, so a lot of stuff, this kind of gridlock stuff isn't happening. He's asking the treasury to create a bond called a myra, which is. This is for retirement security. A myra, which can be offered through employers as a starter retirement account.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a good idea.

[Allison Rosen]

He's included this in previous budget requests, but Congress hasn't acted on it. He renewed the call for Congress to pass. So for immigration. Renewed the call for Congress to pass comprehensive immigration overhaul this year, including a path to citizenship for about 11 million immigrants in the US illegally.

[Brian Bishop]

We're in year number 10 of this comprehensive immigration reform discussion.

[Allison Rosen]

It's the same stuff every year.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like this would just keep going and going and going and going, and it's never. It never seems to get resolved.

[Adam Carolla]

You must be in favor of the path to citizenship and put people on the path to pay taxes on whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, I'm just for whatever. I'm for. Whatever makes sense. The first thing I'm for is the border. Nobody comes over illegally stopped. Stop the flow. Then the next thing is, anybody who's in here who wants to work and wants to pay taxes, fine. Let's see what we can do about that. We live in Los Angeles. There's basically underground illegal market in here, but done in broad daylight. People selling flowers all along Forest Lawn Drive. People selling ghetto dogs outside of the Staples Center. And none of it's, I want those to be puppies.

[Allison Rosen]

I wanted ghetto dogs to be.

[Brian Bishop]

That would be nice. Nothing is regulated, nothing is taxed, and nothing's enforced either. And then we just sort of stopped. Like, we just became overwhelmed in Los Angeles. Like, we went like, look, if we pull over a guy and he's illegal and he doesn't have a license, we're not going to impound his car anymore because we're all full up. And that just seems like a mistake to me. I don't know a person who does not have a story about getting hit by some illegal with no car insurance in. Mike August ran the guy, physically ran the guy down after getting hit and running the guy down, literally on foot, like, on the freeway after the guy fled. Didn't know that's a coach's son. Coach's son. But, yeah, whatever. Something. Whatever makes sense, do it incrementally. And here's the problem. The problem is way too many groups, way too many coalitions, and way too many folks that say, don't do. We can no longer make decisions based on common sense and merit because there's too many groups on too many sides and that represent too many votes that are gonna go out and fuck you if you make a common sense decision. And I don't want the politicians going. You know, I'm thinking about beefing up the border. Boo. Oh, okay, then no. Like, I don't want. But I don't want school teachers doing that. Like, I'm thinking about teaching trigonometry. Booo. All right, let's go play kickball. Hey, like, let's not give in to govern that way.

[Adam Carolla]

Poll numbers are way up, but the test scores are way down.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's gonna hurt the fucking test scores.

[Adam Carolla]

Kickball scores way up.

[Brian Bishop]

I think let's just figure that first thing you do is stop the influx. Second thing you do is offer some incentive to integrate whoever you're talking about into the society. And there's a way to do it. The right has some bad ideas. The left has some bad ideas. But creating this sort of separate economy and this separate group and this underground whatever is just not the fucking way to go. All right, let's bring it home, baby girl.

[Allison Rosen]

Folks, news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zip it, cunt.

[Brian Bishop]

That was the news with Allison Rosen. Ah. Trunk Club, baby. Trunk Club guys, discover the awesome clothes perfect for you. And that's right, the porcelain punishers into the Trunk Club, baby. Dedicated personal stylists hand selected items. And they literally throw them in a trunk and they send them to you and they do it based on your taste. And then you try it on something you dig, you keep it. Something you don't dig, you throw it back and send it back and that's it. They don't charge you for it. At least not the stuff you don't keep. Porcelain Punisher.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, those people are good people.

[Brian Bishop]

And they also have a new Apple.

[Adam Carolla]

And the personal stylist will communicate with

[Brian Bishop]

you, take pictures of what you're trying on, and they'll give you feedback right there on your mobile device. It's amazing. And you just ordered how many items showed up when you ordered this?

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, I would say somewhere between

[Brian Bishop]

10 and 15 items that include shirts, socks, ties, everything. And you know, again, you try on

[Adam Carolla]

what you want and send back what you don't. It's incredible.

[Brian Bishop]

And you keep what you want and send back what you don't. Visit trunkclub.comace well, you know, the days of waiting in line outside the dressing room with a gap are long gone. Trunk Club.com Ace fun. Dress it up, baby. And let's do it in 2014. All right. Us, me, Detroit, Motor City Casino tonight, everybody. Couple tickets available. Come on out and say hi. U.S. buffalo University at Buffalo this Saturday. Come say hi. And also doing some Mangria signings. Royal Oak in Michigan, Lincoln park in Illinois, Amherst, New York, and Las Vegas coming up as well. But you can go to Corolla Drinks and find out where we're gonna be. And all that gets your Mangria for the Super Bowl. So till next time, I'm Crow for Dr. Drew and Allison Rosen and Paul Bryan. Sayin mahalo. What in the world is a teabagging?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that was adam Kohl show 1250 with Dr. Drew and Dan Badrad. That does it for today's cruel classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for an all new installment. Until then, holl and get it on.

[Brian Bishop]

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[Rich (from prank call)]

Pay.

[Brian Bishop]

Never.