Jim Gaffigan + Larry Miller (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show: Jim Gaffigan + Larry Miller (Carolla Classics)
September 5, 2025

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Episode Overview

This Carolla Classics episode assembles two standout segments from The Adam Carolla Show’s 2019 and 2018 archives, featuring comedian Jim Gaffigan and actor Larry Miller. Spanning a wide range of irreverent topics, the episode zeroes in on the state of modern comedy in the "woke" era, word-policing, car etiquette rants, bread-and-butter pop culture banter, and the reminiscences of two comics at the top of their craft. The first segment is a robust, spirited roundtable with Jim Gaffigan, touching on cancer survivorship, work ethic, and a raucous Rotten Tomatoes game. The second brings Larry Miller to the fore, riffing on colonoscopy anxieties, communal food etiquette, and the "Hypothetical Road Trip Game."

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Segment 1: Hilariously Unfiltered with Jim Gaffigan

(Starts ~18:16)

Comedy and the Age of "Woke": Word Policing and Free Speech

• Adam, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop riff on how “woke” culture intrudes on comedy, with Adam lamenting the rise of “word police” even within comedic circles.
• Quote (Adam, 03:05): “How could the word police find a home in comedy of all places? ...And the fact that many comedians would lead that charge, that's counterintuitive to this comedian who's always enjoyed saying what he feels and using the words he chooses.”
• Reflection on Bill Hicks as an archetype of the outspoken, liberal-yet-edgy comic—Adam speculates that Hicks would reject today’s self-righteous cancel culture.

Slippery Slopes and Modern Outrage

• The team pokes fun at slippery slopes in activism, invoking PETA’s campaign against animal crackers in cages and theorizing next-level political correctness (alphabet soup potentially forming offensive words).
• The conversation pivots to minor daily irritations: Adam launches into a familiar rant on parking lot etiquette, inspired by Dylan’s Starbucks confrontation for a poorly parked car—leading to the group codifying "parking crimes" as misdemeanors and felonies.

Jim Gaffigan: Stand-Up Hustle, Family, and Surviving Health Crises

• Gaffigan joins remotely, revealing his prolific stand-up output is partly inspired by his father and deeply grounded in the teamwork discipline he learned from football.
• Quote (Jim Gaffigan, 19:38): “I'm just trying to get my dad to like me. That's why I do so many specials. ...It's something I love.”
• Discussion turns to real-life adversity: Jim’s wife Jeannie’s battle with a brain tumor, her ongoing speech therapy, and how their partnership sustains his career (she edits, directs, and co-writes his material).
• Brian Bishop empathizes, revealing his own ongoing health struggles post-brain tumor.
• Quote (Jim Gaffigan, 23:13): “She has tingling in her leg ...the doctors are like, ‘we don't know what it is.’ ...We as humans live in a certain sense of denial about our mortality... and then we go back to being angry at cab drivers.”

Rotten Tomatoes Game: Celebrity Guest Mayhem

(~25:20)

• The group plays the Rotten Tomatoes Game, focusing on movies with notorious product placement, with Gaffigan joining as a contestant.
• Hilarious and spirited debate over movies like “Transformers: Age of Extinction,” “Skyfall,” “iRobot,” “The Island,” and “EDtv.”
• Memorable Moment (26:59): Brian’s impassioned Bond-fandom: “Quantum of Solace was a terrible movie. ...This [Skyfall] is one of my favorite Bond movies.”
• Gina’s competitive edge shines through as she lands a “dead nuts” guess.
• Post-game, Gaffigan plugs his Amazon special “Quality Time,” which Adam praises as uniquely consistent and funny.

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Segment 2: Commercial Grade, Beer, and Classic Larry Miller

(Starts ~43:56 & 108:03)

Marketing in the Modern Era: Pop Culture and Commercial Critique

• Christy Bishop (commercials expert) breaks down the Taco Bell Hotel pop-up and the rise of “brand experiences” like Oscar Mayer WienerMobile Airbnb.
• The discussion explores the emotional strategy behind commercials (e.g., Mercedes “rescue puppy” ad) vs. technical specs, highlighting “emotional brand resonance.”
• Quote (Christy Bishop, 69:01): “There's a thing called the sales funnel... very much emotion based. ...The emotion gets you there so you can be hit with the rational message.”

Beer Rants, Low-Carb Math & Shower Drinking

• The crew digs into the latest low-carb beer trends, comparing carb-to-alcohol ratios among mainstream beers and craft outliers. Adam pushes the science: “Why hasn't someone taken a low carb beer and juiced it with alcohol?” (88:10)
• Brian Bishop and Gina Grad out themselves as beer nerds, with Brian revealing intricate product knowledge and Gina declaring her love for tequila-soda as a low-carb poolside drink.
• The infamous “shower beer” discussion: Adam and the gang review a Coors Light campaign focused on “the official beer of being done wearing a bra” and the trend of drinking in the shower.
• Quote (Taco Bell Hotel Rep, 71:41): “The official beer of being done wearing a bra.”
• Brian (73:56): “Dudes, drinking in the shower is fantastic.”

Food Etiquette Rants: Avocado Swaps & Guac Cart Justice

• Discussion of “faux guacamole” abominations—some restaurants subbing squash for avocado due to rising costs.
• Adam rails against restaurateurs for sneaking in “creative” twists (like pomegranate seeds in guacamole) without customer consent.
• Adam (100:01): “If you are hell bent on fucking up things like guacamole... you must give us the opportunity to either cancel the order or modify the order.”

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Segment 3: Larry Miller’s Classic Appealing Curmudgeon

(108:03 onward)

Colonoscopy Catastrophes & the Lasagna Debacle

• Adam spins a candid tale about post-colonoscopy bleeding and his existential dread: not of dying, but missing out on July 4th barbecue.
• Roundtable commiseration about staff etiquette—the “torn apart” community lasagna and how food should be shared and presented.
• Adam (119:10): “Why is it every man for themselves all the time?”

The Great Beer Heist

• Adam relives the “disappearing beer” incident, lamenting how his staff absconded with multiple cases of artisan beer before he ever got to try one.
• Office politicking ensues; everyone rationalizes their share (or lack thereof). Adam’s plea: “There is an option. The option is wait 19 hours until I walk through the door and then we can have a discussion about divvying up the beer.” (128:25)

Hypothetical Road Trip Game with Larry Miller

• A centerpiece segment—Adam quizzes Larry with “who would you rather take on a road trip,” pitting offbeat archetypes against each other:
  • Guy who loves fireworks vs. guy who hates fireworks
  • Movie buff who’s never seen an Albert Brooks film vs. Guy who constantly brags about being from NY
  • Car with headlight eyelashes vs. truck nuts
  • Guy constantly applying sunblock vs. lip balm
• Adam “rules” against Larry on almost every pick, finding convoluted (but hilarious) logic to choose the opposite.

July 4th Recaps: Tradition, Family, and Fireworks

• Larry shares a moving tradition: visiting a military cemetery with his son, teaching appreciation for sacrifice (“They sleep with valor.” - 150:05).
• Adam, Gina, and Brian share their holiday experiences, complete with Kimmel cookout anecdotes and tales of fireworks awe in the eyes of young children.

Austin Fletcher Interview: Football, Grit, & On-the-Ground Political Reporting

• YouTuber Austin “Fleckas” Fletcher discusses how football’s tough-love discipline inoculated him against modern outrage culture.
• He shares stories from the frontlines of political rallies and how, of hundreds of participants, “one in ten people” can make a coherent argument (179:14).
• Adam draws the line between gainful employment and weekday protesting: “If you’re not at work and it’s a rally that’s midweek, everyone is guilty until proven innocent to me.” (180:05)
• The panel listens to highlight clips of Fleckas’s “man-on-the-street” interviews.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Adam (03:05): “How could the word police find a home in comedy of all places?”
• Jim Gaffigan (19:38): “I'm just trying to get my dad to like me. That's why I do so many specials.”
• Christy Bishop (69:01): “The emotion gets you there so you can be hit with the rational message.”
• Adam (88:10): “Why hasn't someone taken a low carb beer and juiced it with alcohol?”
• Coors Light Ad Tag (71:41): “The official beer of being done wearing a bra.”
• Larry Miller (150:05): “There are things written on those old tombstones. ...You really feel you've done something for these guys. They have a saying... ‘They sleep with valor.’”
• Austin Fletcher (179:14): “[At protests]... One in 10 people can put together a cohesive argument and actually make some sense.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Comedy and Word Policing: 01:53–07:23
• Car Parking Rant: 09:05–13:24
• Jim Gaffigan Interview: 18:16–41:32
• Rotten Tomatoes Game: 25:20–41:08
• Commercial Grade with Christy Bishop: 43:56–78:56
• Shower Beer & Bra Commercials: 71:13–78:56
• Guacamole & Food Etiquette Rants: 95:32–101:46
• Larry Miller Segment (Colonoscopy & Lasagna): 108:03–122:57
• Hypothetical Road Trip Game: 140:51–148:38
• Veterans’ Cemetery Reflection: 150:05–151:38
• Austin Fletcher Interview: 164:41–182:34

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Summary

In typical Carolla Show fashion, the episode brings together high-level comic takes on the absurdities of daily life, pop culture, and the state of free speech in comedy. Jim Gaffigan and Larry Miller both reveal the underpinnings of comic perseverance—the adversity, the work ethic, and the shared struggles—while Adam rants about everything from political correctness to low-carb beer. Interwoven are insights on marketing, commercials, and the changing face of consumer engagement. Endlessly quotable, frequently self-deprecating, with a heavy dose of nostalgia, the episode is a masterclass in irreverence, chemistry, and the gentle art of complaint.

This installment is a must-listen for anyone curious how comics see the world: sharper, funnier, and more opinionated than ever, but always in search of levity amid the madness.

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For full details, listeners are encouraged to check the companion timestamps and dive deeper into the segments that most pique their interest.

Transcript

[Gina Grad]

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[Brian Bishop]

Welcome to cruel Classics. I'm your host, super fan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans selected clips from all 16 years of the Adam Carolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Cruel Classics available exclusively through Podcast One Premium.

[Adam Carolla]

You can find the ad free archives for this entire program.

[Brian Bishop]

If you'd like to access the ad free archives of the Adam Carolla show or the Adam and Dr. Drew show.

[Adam Carolla]

Or you want to hear the brand.

[Brian Bishop]

New podcast Beat it out, make sure to check out Adam Carolla substack adamcorla.substack.com if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsamcorla.com now on to.

[Larry Miller]

The clips coming up.

[Brian Bishop]

First, we have Adam Carolla Show 26:35. This episode is from 2019 featuring Jim Gaffigan, Christy Bishop, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop.

[Adam Carolla]

Hope you guys enjoy this episode. Thanks for tuning in and thanks for telling a friend. We love when you share the show. Right, Gina Grad. That's right. Handball. Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

I want to go to Hawaii.

[Adam Carolla]

Yay. Yay, Hawaii. Yeah, they're not letting us do that one anymore.

[Brian Bishop]

No, Special Ed isn't coming back.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, man.

[Adam Carolla]

No. We're woke now.

[Brian Bishop]

He's retired to the hall of fame.

[Gina Grad]

Did you. Did you.

[Brian Bishop]

He met with an untimely end.

[Gina Grad]

Did you Norma ray that and kind of try to fight it or you just went with it?

[Adam Carolla]

I have X amount of energy for X amount of problems now and I have a lot of problems. I mean, I have a lot of money. Yeah. A lot to deal with. So your character different Ed. Yeah, I did not. People liked it. I don't know. I feel like it's just where we're at. I don't know when this I was thinking of. I was talking to Mike August last night about this woke shit infecting comedy. Hey, Mike, he's talking about you, you fuck ass. I was talking while I was talking to you, Ryan. That was awesome. And I said get it all out for vac comedian Todd Glass. I did his cancer charity or his charity to raise money for him. And then later on he called me douchebag because he didn't like me using the word retard on stage.

[Brian Bishop]

What a retard.

[Adam Carolla]

And I thought, well, this is a new wrinkle in comedy. I thought the whole part about the thing of comedy. All the people we look up to were the guys who said what they felt and pushed against and went the opposite direction. And if they zigged, you zagged, and all of that stuff. I didn't know. I thought that. How could the word police find a home in comedy of all places? Of all places? Libraries, schools, municipal buses. By all means, by all means. Comedy and the fact that many comedians would lead that charge, that's counterintuitive to this comedian who's always enjoyed saying what he feels and using the words he chooses. And then seems to worked out okay, no one's committed suicide and the folks who enjoy me enjoy that aspect of what I do.

[Gina Grad]

They're still here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

What do you think? Like someone like Bill Hicks who was very liberal and very edgy. Do you think he would get on board or. Cuz I've been thinking a lot about him lately, I love him. Old school, huge, huge fan. But he was incredibly liberal, you know, fought the man all the time, but I don't think he'd stand for this.

[Adam Carolla]

The word police. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't think. I think we have to. The further down the road I get, liberal is one of those things where it's almost like someone going, are you uptight? You go, no, I'm not uptight. Who admits to being uptight? I always consider myself liberal. My liberal is gamble. If you wanna gamble prostitution, legal, grow hot in your backyard. Please just do what you want to do. Don't hurt other. If you wanna say retarded on stage, say retarded on stage and we'll see. If you sell tickets, many people may not like it and then you won't sell tickets. I'm not gonna tell you the market will bear. Also, I don't get to tell you whether to smoke pot or not, or whether to be straight or gay or what words to use. Who am I to tell you any more? Obviously the same group who wants to police your words. Also, if you said, well then what about me telling this gay couple they can't be a gay couple? It's like, well, that's out of the question. So the same group that's simultaneously telling everyone you don't get to tell anyone what they can do are also trying to tell you what to do. So I think in this new world order, and if you're listening, I think if you kind of make a definition between left and liberal, you'll feel it'll help solve a lot of problems because you can be probably right in, you know, Dennis Prager's far to the right, but he's also liberal. He believes that you should be able to do what you want to do. And I think there's a difference between left and liberal. And I think someone like Alyssa Milano may think of herself as a liberal, but she's not really a liberal in the true sense. Bill Maher is probably a little more would be on the left and be liberal. And Alyssa Milano thinks she's super liberal, but she's constantly trying to tell you what to do and take away your job. So that's not really liberal. That's the way I would look at it. And I would think that Bill Hicks would be left and liberal both. And then you can be, I believe you can be both right and liberal and left and liberal. And I think he would be left and liberal and thus have. You shall then have the right to say what you want.

[Gina Grad]

God, I hope so.

[Adam Carolla]

Or I don't think he'd be active trying to get you shut other people down, trying to get you removed from your job, or boycotting this gym that you had part ownership in. I don't think there'd be any of that. Or you know, boycotting a taco truck because two red headed chicks are running the taco truck. That's not liberal.

[Gina Grad]

It's not on the agenda.

[Adam Carolla]

I think they think of themselves as liberal. That's not really live and let live sort of. That's the way I think of it.

[Gina Grad]

Live and cancel.

[Adam Carolla]

You trying to shut down these people's livelihood because they're doing something that they didn't vet with you or that you've decided, oh, by the way, that you decided in the last 10 minutes was wrong. You ate tacos from a guy named Pops Johnson your whole life and never had two thoughts about it. Now you're 47 and 10 minutes ago you've decided this is wrong.

[Brian Bishop]

It doesn't jive with your ever Changing worldview.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, you need to keep up. Also, I sent this to Chris and Kaylin the other day. We were talking about. We've been talking a lot about PETA and this hadn't come up. I haven't checked the source, it just came from buzzfeed. But if you have that picture. Kaylin, PETA has not just gone the route of animal testing. You know, beauty products and things like that.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, they go for viruse like I predicted.

[Gina Grad]

Better. They're in the animal cracker business. Did you know that? Sorry, just animal appropriation. Because what does the classic picture look like?

[Adam Carolla]

It's a slippery slope.

[Gina Grad]

Because it's animals in cages.

[Brian Bishop]

Farm and Bailey.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, but also, what about this? I'm feeding my 3 year old a cookie that's shaped like a giraffe and the next thing you know he's climbed the fence at the zoo and he's trying to eat the head off a giraffe.

[Gina Grad]

That's the slippery slope.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's the message, right?

[Gina Grad]

And we don't want to see God's creatures in cages, even if they're cookies. So now they're all free roaming Serengeti.

[Adam Carolla]

I like that in the new book. And then what about now? I'm serious. What about like the ACLU going after Alphabet soup because some of those letters could form offensive words. Not that you'd physically do it, but you don't know when you dump that can into the bowl what those could. What shape that could do.

[Gina Grad]

You gotta get out in front of that.

[Brian Bishop]

Look, Daddy Fu.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm thinking more ethnic slurs. Brian, the fu would be all right with aclu. It's the ethnic slurs they wouldn't like. All right, let's see. Dylan had a dust up at the Starbucks today. Yeah, I'm curious about it. I was told by Max Zapata that he'd got into it with a guy who was straddling the blind or. Or using up two spots, which I don't like.

[Brian Bishop]

Parking spots.

[Adam Carolla]

Two parking spots. But as I've dug a little deeper, it turns out the guy was just too far to one side. Now, Dylan was outraged to find out that I may disagree with him on this. First things first. You want to straddle that line and use up two parking spots. I have no time for you and humanity. I want to stuff you into that huge air cannon so we can test that impellers on the jet engines. Just boom, it's fine. No problemo with that. Yeah, the on the line is a little tougher because Sometimes. Now here's. Here's the worst case scenario. Sometimes it's a domino effect. Sometimes there's a person that's too far over, so you pull too far over, then that person leaves. And now you look like the lone. A hole. So, Dylan, there are two lines.

[Brian Bishop]

If you're within the lines, you're okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you within. Was he. How close to the outside line was he or was he over it?

[Dylan]

He was touching the outside line. The car, the wheels were. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Dylan]

These are the stakes.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Honestly, if we're right side or left side? If we were like, behind the car?

[Dylan]

Left side.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, can we see white outside of his black tires? A little bit.

[Dylan]

A little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

This is going a little like hitting the foul pole here. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

It's not considerate, but it's not outrageous.

[Gina Grad]

Egregious.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not agree. It's not outrageous. I don't like it. I don't know. What do you think his reasons were?

[Dylan]

Sociopathy.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, See, what else could it be? I don't know their answer now. All right, so let's see. Let's. Let's. Let's break it off into murder one straddling two spots. That's murder one. Yeah. Just murder is over the line with no white showing. Manslaughter, a crime is some of the white. A little bit of the white showing, but still not over. Not completely obscured. And aggravated assault is like just sort of a whole line showing, but you're still on some of the white.

[Brian Bishop]

You're out of bounds.

[Adam Carolla]

That's how I would break it down.

[Gina Grad]

So which one are you murder now?

[Adam Carolla]

Your man Slaughter?

[Dylan]

I mean, I've done nothing wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

So now, then you pulled up and what happened?

[Dylan]

I pulled up into the spot next to him, and he couldn't get out of his car. I parked normally and he couldn't get out of his car because.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, he was in the car.

[Dylan]

Yes, he was in the car.

[Brian Bishop]

Interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

Within the lines. Yes. Did you fudge it over? No, no. Dylan, Dylan, I don't like that face. I didn't.

[Dylan]

I just pulled in. He couldn't get out. And so I backed up and he was trying to get stuff out of the back. Later I found out it was a small human being that was his daughter. And he said, can you fucking back up, please? And I said, if you didn't park like a monster, this wouldn't be a problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Dylan]

And he said, everybody parks like this. I said, it's not out. It's not about everybody. It's about you was there.

[Adam Carolla]

Was there a. What was his motivation to have it so far off? Just slid in that way, paying attention.

[Dylan]

He's in an Odyssey, which is a vehicle of insane people.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. Dr. Bruce had one for a while.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Crazy people.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a minivan, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Was the daughter on the passenger side?

[Dylan]

Yes. No, no, no, no. Driver's side.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, that's even I was gonna say, I do recognize the desire to cheat a few inches. So you can thus get the daughter out of the passenger side. But if it's on the same side, all bets are off.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dylan]

So, you know, I said, you're a monster. It's not about everybody else. It's an isolated incident. And then I pulled into a different spot, and he followed me, and he said, I need your insurance. Are you wrapped on my window? I said, yes, I need your insurance. You hit my car. You fucked my car up. And I said, I didn't touch your car. You're not getting my insurance. He was like, well, I'm going to need your insurance. And I was like, well, you're not getting my insurance. And then we both walked into Coffee Bean together.

[Brian Bishop]

Did he say, you fucked my car up? Because that would be something you would both very clearly notice.

[Gina Grad]

Dylan, I'm with you on the Odyssey. This guy's insane.

[Adam Carolla]

He's insane.

[Gina Grad]

What was his daughter crying, saying, daddy, please don't.

[Dylan]

No, she was in the car. The entire confrontation, she was in the car. I only realized there was a small child with him when we were in Coffee Bean.

[Adam Carolla]

So I'm going to add the Odyssey. When I see anyone In a Honda, CR V or RAV4, I'm always like, oh, that person hates driving. Now, in la, you have to drive. If you live in New York and you hate driving, you don't own a car. If you live in LA and you hate driving, either Honda, Honda Odyssey. Now RAV4 or CR V, which is all. I don't care. I must have a vehicle. Which means you're not going to be dealing with spirited driving or smart driving. So I will add that to my list. Yes, Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

I was going to say Dylan. With this further information about the guy pursuing you for the insurance, I realized I'm seeing a whole picture now of this gentleman. Whereas Dylan came out hot with sociopathy or sociopath, it now makes sense. This guy may very well be a.

[Gina Grad]

Sociopath waiting around for somebody to ding his car.

[Dylan]

And I don't think it was that. I think that he, like, realized he had committed manslaughter. So to speak. And he was a little flustered and he tried to win and he failed at doing so. Because if I did hit his car and he really needed my insurance, the second go away would not have sufficed. He would have been like, no, seriously, look at my car. You fucked it up.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm trying to picture this. He's pulled in, head into the spot, heated over to the left. She did it over the driver's side. Yeah, you pulled in also, head in next to him. Where did he think you hit him or where?

[Dylan]

On his back. Left side. While I was pulling him.

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus Christ. Ridiculous. You know, there's a thing.

[Brian Bishop]

It's not like you dinged him at the door. Obviously you're on the opposite side.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay, let me float a quick theory before Jim Gaffkin calls him.

[Dylan]

He's running a few minutes behind, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he is? Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Dylan called him, told him to hold on.

[Dylan]

I got an email from his team right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, here's what you have to rely heavily upon on society. You should be wired to not want to get into it with people and just sort of little after you. And I don't want to mix it up. I don't want to tangle. That's sort of a basic human wiring. Now there are people who actually look forward to the.

[Gina Grad]

The confrontation.

[Adam Carolla]

Confrontation. Some of them are just like spiritual, emotional. They're not all physical. They're just like, I would like to mix it up with that person. We've all had neighbors who, God willing, maybe you haven't, but I've had a ton of neighbors who over nothing, want to come over and go, hey look, I noticed you were cutting the avocado tree. I'm not sure if you know this, but part of the branch goes into my yard. I really just appreciate if you get. And it's like, what are we doing? What are we talking about? Why are we into this? There's no reason to have this. I was having a conversation with a neighbor yesterday, an old neighbor, and we're talking about fixing some water drainage problem or something. And at a certain point I went like, yeah, okay, got it, I'll fix it. And then he was like, cuz when it rains hard. And I'm like, I got it, do it. And then. And then he goes, cause the water really comes down. And I was like, listen, I must go. At a certain point, I don't know what you want. I don't know what we're doing here. We're going on a fifth lap of the exact same Goddamn thing. Now. I always just go. I got a radio interview and I just walk away. I don't know who wants all of this? A larger percentage. I feel a larger percentage of people Twitter and all these simulated, you know, they kind of do this stuff where it's like, hey, he's doing first person active shooter games over and over and over again. It's like, yeah, now I'm kind of. I'm on Twitter and I'm sort of simulating a confrontation all fucking day. Like, I'm confronting people in my head. Now I go to a Starbucks and I'm in kind of active shooter mode. Like, I'm in my Twitter mode. There's a lot more people willing to mix it up in public than there used to be. Also used to get fucking popped in the jaw when you did that.

[Brian Bishop]

Now that's off the table.

[Adam Carolla]

You slowed your roll a little bit.

[Dylan]

I don't like this projection.

[Adam Carolla]

This is not projection.

[Dylan]

All right, all right.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm talking about him. All right, we have a real personality on line five. That is Jim Gaffigan. Jim Gaffig. Hello, sir.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm a real personality.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Jim Gaffkin. I love this guy. And when I heard about his extensive football background, I learned to love him more. And I find that many comedians aren't accused of having a great work ethic. Jim Gaffigan has that work ethic. And I gotta believe being grounded in football, especially playing. I think he played the line. Was it offensive line or both ways?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Both ways. But, yeah, that's probably. Hopefully, that's why I can't. My knees hurt, too. But who knows?

[Adam Carolla]

The new special, which is available on Amazon prime, is called Jim Gaffigan Quality Time. I'm just saying, in order to put out a special every year, or at least what feels like a bout every year, you've got. You can't be lazy and do that. And I think that work ethic, you know, it's got a great work ethic. Jimmy Kimmel. When you get work ethic and you connect another football player, you connect it to funny, right? You get work ethic and funny. You get a lot of productivity, a lot of product. Jim, how many do you put out? About one a year?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, it's. It's been recently about one a year. But I always say that I'm just trying to get my dad to like me. That's why I do so many specials. No, it's. It's something I love. And I also, you know, a couple years ago, there was this you know, with my wife having a brain tumor, there was this reality that I was faced like, oh, you might not be able to do this. So I think I have a greater appreciation of, you know, living in the moment and kind of enjoying kind of the craft of stand up and producing material.

[Adam Carolla]

Lots of funny material. And I think it's Noble Ape on the whole hospital setting and your wife and the entire, you know, horrible situation. But inevitably, if you're gonna get involved in that and it's gonna pass through your filter, there's gonna be comedy coming out the other end. Was that from Noble Ape?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, that was Noble Ape, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Another very funny special. So, Jim, now how's your wife doing? And I know your wife writes a lot of Stand up with you, right?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, I mean, you know, it varies at times. I mean, she's writing. She's been writing a book for the past year, so I haven't had as much access to her. You know, I wrote a couple books and she helped me a lot. And then I was. She was writing a book and I was like, hey, I'll help you. And she's like, nah, it's all right. So it's one of those things where she's been kind of occupied with working on her book. But yeah, no, it's a. It's definitely a partnership. And she sees and kind of serves as an editor and a director on everything. She directed the special that's on Amazon. So it's like, it's definitely a family affair, that's for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Can we talk about your wife and her health? Because, you know, Brian Bishop, sitting to my left has a brain tumor as well. I can't remember if we discussed this with you before, but it gets come up. Seems like it'd be good to get caught up.

[Jim Gaffigan]

No, we discussed it. So she's doing well. She's doing well. I mean, it's, you know, it's such a. But, you know, like she had cranial nerve, you know, going through the tumor. So her speech, she's gone through. She just recently had a surgery on her speech, on her, you know, vocal cords. Like one of them was paralyzed. So she. I don't know what they exactly did. Expanded one of them to supposedly help her speech. And so she's kind of on vocal rest, which is pretty much impossible for my wife. But. So she's talking some. But like, it's, you know, as Brian will tell you, it's. There's always an issue. It's not like, you know, spraining an ankle and like Six months later, everything's good. It's like there's issues that you're constantly dealing with.

[Brian Bishop]

Jim, it sounds like your wife and I have the same tumor, if not a similar tumor, because it was on my cranial nerves as well. And you guys know how bad my speech was, you know, when I was going through the worst of it. And like you said, Jim, it' sit's not just the tumor. It's all the stuff, the fallout. It's 10 years later, I'm still going to physical therapy twice a week trying to get stronger on my left side. I'm sure your wife had similar issues, if not the same.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, yeah, no, like, they're the. You know, her, she'll just, you know, a leg. And by the way, there's tons of stuff they don't know, as, you know. You know, you're talking about physical therapy. It's like she has tingling in her leg that they. The doctors, these geniuses are like, we don't know what it is. And you're just like, really? You don't have any idea. And so I think it's, you know, like, the overall experience is so fascinating because I think that, you know, and I might have talked about this last time. I think that we as humans live in a certain sense of denial about our mortality, and we glimpse it with loved ones or when someone dies, we glimpse the fact that we're just around here for a little bit, and then we go back to, you know, being in denial and being angry at cab drivers and stuff like that.

[Brian Bishop]

So, yes, I pointed out. I wrote a book about the whole experience, and I pointed out that it's nice once you put a little bit of distance to be able to worry about those little things like cab drivers or the mailman didn't put the mail to take the mail they're supposed to send out. Like, it's nice to be able to worry about little things again.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's a luxury.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I mean, bigger picture or. I don't know if it's bigger, but different picture. Think about the things we worry about in this country versus many other countries. Like, well, the cable's out. Damn it. The cable's out.

[Brian Bishop]

Internet's slow.

[Adam Carolla]

When my TV remote needs a new set of batteries, it is devastating. I pointed it three times. I did the weird overhead angle move. I walked. I walked to where I thought the eye was. It was brutal.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's very rough.

[Gina Grad]

You give all your potable water just for.

[Jim Gaffigan]

When Facebook and Instagram are out. You know, like, the News media covers it like the grid went down, you.

[Adam Carolla]

Know what I mean? All right, Jim, thanks for joining us. You know how to play the game, right? You've been explained how to play the Rotten Tomatoes game.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I do.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, this is. Well, we'll start and we'll get the theme. Listen to that noise. Since a high falsetto voice that can only mean one thing and you can feel it. Got some names of flicks and the game makes their picks guessing if it's rotten or fresh.

[Gina Grad]

If it doesn't exactly, we'll get a bonus five.

[Adam Carolla]

Mr. Rotten Tomatoes game. You know how we do it. Give me the Rotten Tomatoes game. Now it's time to play.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

All right, because we have Christy Bishop coming in today for a round of commercial grade, we're gonna theme today's game off of product placement in movies. Our first film features dinosaurs. Every car made by General Motors, plus a shape shifting creature that subtly turns into a beat by Dr. Dre's Speaker Pillow. It's the fourth installment of Brian's favorite movie franchise, Transformers Age of Extinction.

[Gina Grad]

This is the latest.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I mean, I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

There's one other one. So here's what oftentimes happens. I love the first Transformers. That was a totally fun movie. And then they sort of fall off a little. And then a lot of times they get their shit back together again and come out. I mean, that was Bumblebee. Look at Star Wars, I guess. And Bumblebee was strong.

[Brian Bishop]

Bumby was pretty good.

[Adam Carolla]

Bumblebee is 87% on rotten tomatoes or.

[Brian Bishop]

Something beef with that movie.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so we don't know this is the fourth one. Brian has seen them all.

[Brian Bishop]

They all kind of blend together after a while. I'm a fan of these stupid movies. I mean, the idea of these stupid movies. And by the third, fourth, fifth ones, they're all. I can't tell you anything different about them.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so did it do that thing where it got out of the gate? Good. Stumbled a little and then got their shit together and came up. I can't believe it did. Let's see. To write it down. But they sort of find their way. Okay, I'm in. Jim, you locked in?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm locked in.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, he's looked it up.

[Adam Carolla]

Do we figure that Jim goes first?

[Brian Bishop]

Jim's go first.

[Adam Carolla]

Go ahead, Jim.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think that I actually think that the reviewers are very harsh on movies, that this is a Michael Bay kind of franchise. And I think that their reviewers try and appear smarter by bashing movies like this. I'm going to say 36%.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Smart.

[Brian Bishop]

I think Jim's on the right track. This is red meat for reviewers. This is when they get to, you know, take their pens out and just kill them. So I went actually much lower at 21. I might be high.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. I didn't know if this is. I assumed they'd gotten it back together and were putting something together again, So I said 67. Whoa.

[Gina Grad]

I had 40. Crossed it out immediately and deducted 10 points. I said 30.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Transformers. Age of extinction is rotten at 18%.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Wow. That is rotten.

[Brian Bishop]

Red meat, man, for those critics.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Now, aside from the usual luxury car brand integration, James Bond foregoes the usual incorrect martini order for HA Heineken in 2012's Skyfall.

[Brian Bishop]

Interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

2012 Skyfall.

[Brian Bishop]

I have thoughts on this movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I have not seen this. Really? Well, it is certain. See, I grew up on the Bond franchise, and I was really pumped about Bond, and I had, like, the little Bond Matchbox car, you know, and everything. The actual Bond Carr is going across the. Or just went across the auction blocks. And we'll share more information with that. No, it's a. It's a DB5. I think it could be DB4. They both kind of look the same. It was a DB5 that they said was a DB4. I think either way.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Is this Daniel Craig's first Bond movie?

[Brian Bishop]

No, this is his third Bond movie. Christina Royale was first, and then Quantum of Solace was second.

[Gina Grad]

All I know about this one is this is the Adele skyvo.

[Brian Bishop]

I think they won the Oscar.

[Gina Grad]

They did, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a great song.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

It was a good song.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's see. And I used to watch them because there was a Fran. So movie franchises were like food franchises. You know, when you went to In N out Burger or McDonald's or Chick Fil A, you kind of went for different reasons, but they all kind of had their Arby's or whatever. Like, you kind of knew, like, oh, we're gonna get Kentucky Fried Chicken. And you didn't look at Kentucky Fried Chicken as delicious fried chicken. You looked at it as Kentucky Fried Chicken.

[Gina Grad]

Reliable.

[Adam Carolla]

And so I looked at James Bond as James Bond. And then they got rid of all the gadgets and all the fun stuff and replaced it with testicular trauma and a guy crying because this hot chick pulled a. Pulled a fast one on him. And now they've taken him away and they've just put up black chick in the role. And it's like, it's not. It's no longer Kentucky Fried Chicken. I probably shouldn't have put that so close to the black chick. But what I'm saying is it's no longer the France. I never said it was the best. It was its own thing, and I liked that.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And now I don't care to see it anymore because now it just falls under action genre for me. Okay. Okay.

[Gina Grad]

That being said.

[Adam Carolla]

That being said, I don't know. All right, I'm in. Jim.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm in. Yeah. Do you want me to go?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, please.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think. I think this is pre. Pre. Me too. I think that Daniel Craig was pretty much universally adored at this time, and I'm gonna say 67% interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

I want 61.

[Brian Bishop]

I have seen every Bond movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm a huge fan of the series. Quantum of Solace was a terrible movie. The one that preceded this, this, directed by Oscar winner Sam Mendez, is fantastic. This is one of my favorite Bond movies.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

I think the critics went nuts for this because this is like Bond, like. Like, he, like, gives up the gadgets at one point, right? And, like. Like, the final battle takes place like an old farmhouse with, like, like, Home Alone style rakes and lanterns and shit. It's a great movie. I went 90, and I could be low.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God. Well, I was right there. Simpatico with Jim. I said 67.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

No Sky Falls. Certified fresh in 92.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I think, Brian, you would like this movie. That I shall. I shall see it now that sometimes, oftentimes, seeing the movie is not really much benefit, but when there's a series of them, and the one before, it sucked, but this one kicked ass than it is of benefit, so I think that may have benefited Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, everyone see Skyfall. It's really good.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, here we go.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

This next film's product placement is integral to the plot, as it's Will Smith's leather Converse that really give him the strength to stop the sentient robots from taking over the World in 2004's iRobot.

[Gina Grad]

Cannot distinguish this from I Am Legend.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, they're very different.

[Gina Grad]

Although I never saw iRobot.

[Brian Bishop]

Very different. I am Legend. There's no one else in this movie. There's billions of robots.

[Gina Grad]

He has a dog. At some point, there's.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I Am Legend is good. There was a whole group of these kind of CGI before it really worked that well. And like, these kinds of movies, I just feel there's tons and tons of these movies, and it's not a genre that ever strikes me as compelling. I did not see this, Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

I saw it.

[Adam Carolla]

Jim. Jim. Jim is working. So he doesn't see this.

[Jim Gaffigan]

No, no. I think. Here's what I think that, like, we live in a far more critical time. I mean, I even seeing this in the two previous guests, that back in 2004, I think that there. There was a much more, you know, people. These critics weren't so harsh. You know, like, I feel like critics are way more harsh. And there's like social. Kind of. If a movie has a social commentary. And again, we're talking about 2004, but if it has the social commentary today, the critics can get behind it. But back then, I think they were far more forgiving. I mean, I don't know about this movie. I didn't see it. But, you know, that being said, if it was like Transformers, they'd destroy it. But, like, I don't know. I don't know. Was the movie garbage?

[Adam Carolla]

Jim, let me speak for you. What we're doing now, what Jim is alluding to is in the past, they just watched a movie and go thumbs up or thumbs down. Now it's like, was there a strong female in the lead role? Was there a person of color? And so they're factoring in many things that might not have to do with the plot or the movie. Just they're factoring in a bunch of different factors you don't really want them factoring in.

[Brian Bishop]

And before, was that the case?

[Adam Carolla]

This is sort of before that. Yeah. I didn't see it. I don't think critics loved it. I got to pick up some points, so I'm going to lock my score in. I'm in, Jim.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm in.

[Brian Bishop]

What's your score, Jim?

[Jim Gaffigan]

All right, I'm going Will Smith. People love Will Smith, and I think people underestimate how talented he is. I'm going to give it 61.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

I went low, intentionally low, to try to make up some points at 41.

[Brian Bishop]

Think you went the wrong way, man. This is a perfectly fine movie. I like it probably more than most people. The voice of the main robot is recent guest Alan Tudyk. Sonny the Robot. He's like a robot that was rogue, right. Accused of a crime. But robots can't commit crimes, so there's a whole thing. This is a perfectly fine movie. I may have gone a little high. I said 81.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, wow. I didn't see it. Right in line with Adam. I said 42.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

IRobot is rotten.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

At 56%.

[Brian Bishop]

That is surprising.

[Gina Grad]

Eat all of it, Brian.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, No, I like this movie. This is good.

[Adam Carolla]

People had it at 70. Rotten. Rotten, you hear? Rotten. You go, oh, but it's only four points away from being fresh. It wasn't that rotten. Right. I needed it more in the 40s, but here we go into the championship rounds.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Another film directed by Michael Bateman features a dystopian future where clones are lied to and massive Xbox logos are displayed during fight scenes in 2005's the Island.

[Gina Grad]

What's that?

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson.

[Brian Bishop]

This was a big movie.

[Gina Grad]

Never heard of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was like there was billboards all over town and stuff, but it just didn't.

[Gina Grad]

Didn't take.

[Brian Bishop]

Probably had 4,000 screens. Like it was a big release.

[Gina Grad]

I do not remember this.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, they didn't like it. But how. But where was it? And I'm going to lock myself in. I'm so lazy. I'm not going to write another number. I just wrote 41.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm right with you. I said 44.

[Gina Grad]

I haven't actually seen this 40, which I think I've done three times now.

[Adam Carolla]

Jim.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm going to say 25.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow. That could be that smart.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think the media goes after Michael Bay.

[Adam Carolla]

That's smart. Good. You could make up some points if it's very low. All right. Awesome.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

The island is rotten at 40.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, thank you.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, wow.

[Gina Grad]

Very much.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you just get 40?

[Gina Grad]

I said 40. Yeah.

[Max Pata]

Brian, what'd you have?

[Brian Bishop]

44.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina, I needed that.

[Jim Gaffigan]

By the way, what do you win?

[Gina Grad]

Absolutely nothing.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You win bragging rights.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. All right, it's pretty close here. Brian had a big. Brian had a nice lead, but he got thrown off with that robot. My robot. So then Gina just got five point deduction. So here we go.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Our final film features buddies Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson alongside Elizabeth Hurley. And an ACS favorite employed by a big brown parcel delivery service, Jenna Elfman in 1999's Ed TV.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, no. Scott Reiner or no, Ron Howard. Ron Howard, Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

One of those generic 90s directors, I think.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Ron Howard.

[Adam Carolla]

Did this come after the Jim Carrey version or it was almost at the same time?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, the Jim Carrey was 97. So that's. Or right. This would have been two years after.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so this is one of those, like, sort of social commentary movies. And did we find out, was it Rob Reiner or was it Ron Howard.

[Max Pata]

And Truman show came out a year before this.

[Adam Carolla]

A year before. All right, so they. It's kind of Truman Show Esque. Are they gonna call them copycats?

[Brian Bishop]

Keep in mind, this predated reality tv.

[Gina Grad]

Well, that's what made it so groundbreaking.

[Adam Carolla]

I need to get this one Dead Nuts on. Ron Howard is very consistent. I like Ron Howard movies. I have no thought. I am locked in, Jim.

[Brian Bishop]

I've not seen this.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, I'm locked in.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you got?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I got 80.

[Adam Carolla]

I went 73.

[Brian Bishop]

I remember this not being very well received. I went 50.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, 57.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

EDTV is fresh.

[Brian Bishop]

Damn it.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

At 64%.

[Brian Bishop]

I can live with that.

[Adam Carolla]

Just fresh.

[Brian Bishop]

Gina picked up seven points on me there.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, boy. Gene, what'd you have?

[Gina Grad]

57.

[Adam Carolla]

And Jim won 80, so I picked up some points there, too. Jim, a little lower. All right, here we go.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

As we tally up the scores, I just want to say my hats off to all, all of you. Jim, you played great from outside the studio. There are only three places on the podium, though, so one of you will walk home a loser.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Jim's already home.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

So it's probably.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm already. I'm already a loser.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Jim Gaffigan, coming in with a score of 79. Bald Brian, not a bad showing. 40 is your score.

[Adam Carolla]

Whoa. Nope.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

That says 48.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, come on. That's better.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Adam Corolla, you are the loser off the podium at 105.

[Adam Carolla]

Whoa, whoa.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Was Gina Grant's five point deduction enough to take the win?

[Brian Bishop]

Brutal.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

And the answer is a resounding no.

[Gina Grad]

Come on.

[Adam Carolla]

53.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Bald Brian takes the win with 48.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Exhilarating game.

[Adam Carolla]

Back in the winner's circle. Mr. Rock Till Tomatoes game. You know how we do it. And, Jim, you don't have to walk home a loser. I have to walk home a loser, sir.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You know what? We all win because we can all watch my new special on Amazon Prime. Well, we're all winners.

[Adam Carolla]

Quality time. They're always good. They're always consistently funny. Jim is just. He's a Smith, a wordsmith, and also movie coming out in theater. September 20th, American Dreamer. And we'll keep you posted on that. Or you can look that up and hit his website, Jim Gaffigan, because he's out selling tour dates. Thanks. Thanks, Jim.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Thank you so much. Appreciate talking to you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Take care. Nothing better than a regular guy, is there?

[Gina Grad]

I love him as we all do. I love all his specials. And I think it was probably Dylan who wrote down, you know, they have five kids. And one of his jokes is, having five kids is like drowning and then someone hands you a baby.

[Adam Carolla]

So great. All right, now, stamps.com, i run my own business. I've written a few books. And that means you got to go to the post office a time or two. But not for us. We do not do that. We have been doing business with stamps.com for 10 years. It's been a decade of stamps.com. yeah, they're one of the first. And they do all the services the post office can do. And they do it from. You just do it from your computer. Buy and print U.S. postage. Any letter, any package, do it from your house. Best part, 5 cents off every first class stamp and 40% off. Up to 40% off. Priority mail. 700,000 small businesses use stamps dot com. They got a special offer. Four week trial plus free postage and digital scale. No long term commitment. Just go to stamps.com, click the microphone, top of the homepage, type in Adam, that's stamps dot com. Look, you do everything online. There's so many things that you don't go out and physically shop. You go to Amazon and you buy a table lamp or reading glasses. This is basically that for parcels and going to the post office. Stamps.com, enter Adam. All right, Christy is out there. We've got commercial grade. I have stumbled onto just a few commercials recently in the, you know, my good vibes department.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, it's taken over.

[Adam Carolla]

It's taken over. And it's companies we always knew the Subaru world, Mercedes has got. Loving themselves some puppies, too. The guys, same guys who brought you Hitler's six wheel motor car.

[Brian Bishop]

Now I want you to pet the dog.

[Adam Carolla]

Now they're into puppies. They're big time into puppies.

[Brian Bishop]

Hitler loved his dog too, man.

[Gina Grad]

That's true.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true. Do we figure out if it's a lady or Lucky? No, Blondie. Yes, Blondie. That's. That's what it is. All right, we got that.

[Gina Grad]

Of course it was Blondie.

[Adam Carolla]

Jewfro wouldn't have done.

[Brian Bishop]

No lasted long.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we have that. We have. I will tell you, I said to. I was proud when I looked the other day and I looked at where I was trying to figure out weird. I'm always obsessed with IMDb scores and how they work and how they score them and what their rhythm is and how such range. Every movie I've ever loved is a 7.2. And every movie I've hated is a 7.2. I can't. I can't figure it out. And I thought I did a standup special and the Netflix fellas told me. They watched 15 minutes of it and it was a hard pass. They didn't go like, I'll give you $10. They were like, yeah, not interested. And so I said, huh, I wonder how some of those other Netflix Specials scored on IMDb. And I did the last. I said, max Pata, why don't you just give me the last 25 Netflix standup specials that have come out and just get their IMDb score and tell me, write it down, what it was. Not Taco Bell material is at 8.1.

[Gina Grad]

You crossed the 8 threshold.

[Adam Carolla]

That's incredible. I cross the 8 threshold.

[Brian Bishop]

You and the Godfather, man.

[Adam Carolla]

And I don't have thousands of votes, but I have over 200. So it's seems like enough. And if people go, oh, those are your fans, like, yeah, yeah, Whitney Cummings has fans. That's her fans. That's kind of how it works. And so does Jo Koy and so does Mike Epps. And so those have a lot more. They just have a lot more. They have their fans vote and my fans vote or people who aren't fans vote.

[Brian Bishop]

One group dwarfs the other, but they still have fans.

[Adam Carolla]

Same theory. So I just said, give me the last 25. Whitney Cummings 6.5. Aziz 77. Catherine Ryan. 6. 5. Mike Epps. 4. 9. Adam Devine. 5. 8.

[Brian Bishop]

4.9.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. I guess they didn't like it. Adam Devine is 5. 8. There's some haters in there too. Joe Coy, we love 7. 3. Miranda sings 5. 5. Wanda Sykes 7. 1. Anthony Jeselnik 7. Kevin Hart. 6. 4. Nate Bragazzi. Funny comedian, by the way. 7. 5. Amy Schumer 5. 4. Jim Carr. Jimmy Carr. 7. 3. Ken Jeong 5. 7. Ray Romano 7. 3. Gabriel Fluffy Iglesias. 7. 2.

[Brian Bishop]

You should do this material next time you're on stage.

[Adam Carolla]

Sebastian Maniscalco 7. 1. Ellen DeGeneres. 6. 5 Verdas 7.0. Russell Brand 6.5. Trevor Noah 7.2. John Legzamo 7.3. Adam Sandler 7.6 and Ron White 6.5. So those are the last 25. None of them start with an 8. So I'm not saying I'm better in any of them, but I'm also saying I don't think it's really that much about the product per se. That's curious to you?

[Brian Bishop]

No. Meaning what?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

What do you mean by that?

[Adam Carolla]

It's not about the product. They all got picked up.

[Brian Bishop]

They all got reviewed and picked up.

[Adam Carolla]

And none of them start with an 8. So I would say, well, this one's. If you were doing this with bagels, you wouldn't go, well, we don't like this guy's bagels.

[Brian Bishop]

Those are their fans. Those are your fans.

[Gina Grad]

Bagel fan.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm just saying, I think. I don't know, I think being old and white and saying women weren't funny when I didn't say, does it hurt you? I don't think it helped.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you regret saying that now?

[Adam Carolla]

You know, do you regret not ever having fun? The thing I like about the news, even back in the day, is Adam Carolla never said women weren't funny. Adam Carolla was presented with a question, who's funnier? Men or women? And I said, men, because I felt compelled to answer the question. And if you answer the question, it's either gotta be A, men, B, women are funnier, or C, it's a statistical deadlock. Like, we are tied for every single funny man there's a funny woman. I, in my experience, have encountered more funny men than women. I also went on to say that Sarah Silverman and Kathy Griffin would have been funnier than any guy in my high school, for sure. But that part sloughed off and then it just turned into Adam said women weren't funny.

[Gina Grad]

So let's correct the record and make the new headline Misogynist. Adam Carolla felt compelled to answer a question.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm weird. You asked me a question. I will give you an answer. I don't think that's on you. That is on me.

[Brian Bishop]

What's wrong with black people anyway? Are we gonna take a break?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. The show's only 90 minutes long. Christy Bishop, the world's greatest white.

[Brian Bishop]

Indeed.

[Adam Carolla]

She loves baking. She puts up with Brian. She brings home a nut. She literally brings home the bacon and fries it up in the pan.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Never, never lets you forget you're a man. It's a one stop shop because she's woman. Anjali, I think it was called. There's a perfume. Oh, there was a perfume. Oh, you guys know.

[Gina Grad]

I know Charlie.

[Adam Carolla]

You guys know Charlie. There was a perfume called, like, Anjou Li, I think exotic. And it was. It's like I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan and never, never let you forget your. And then she's, like, spraying it. All it made me want to do is, I see my mom flopped out on the floor and I'd go, yuck. I want to throw up into my hat.

[Gina Grad]

All right, Because I'm a woman.

[Adam Carolla]

I.

[Gina Grad]

Can bring home a bacon fry.

[Adam Carolla]

It up in a pan and never let you forget you're a man Give her Anjoli.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

The 8 hour perfume for the 24 hour woman.

[Adam Carolla]

I can work till 5 o' clock come home and read your tickety talk.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Tonight I'm gonna cook for the kids.

[Adam Carolla]

And if it's loving you well I.

[Gina Grad]

Can kiss you and give you the.

[Adam Carolla]

Shivering fit ajoli the eight hour perfume.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

For your 24 hour woman.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

I've never wanted anything more.

[Adam Carolla]

If they did a perfume after Chris Corolla, it'd be like I can argue with the cashier at Lucky's about why can't use food stamps to buy cat food, go home and take a nap, lock myself in a room and yell freak out.

[Gina Grad]

And never ever let you forget I.

[Adam Carolla]

Didn'T want kids cause I'm lazy. Anjali. Yeah. All right.

[Brian Bishop]

On the range of those types of songs. That wasn't bad, Chris.

[Gina Grad]

Oh yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, they want to enjoy them, they hire a sitter. They want to enjoy themselves.

[Gina Grad]

Make a night of it.

[Max Pata]

You want Anjali?

[Brian Bishop]

I think this one's called Anjali.

[Adam Carolla]

Two, three. There was a look. You could do Charlie. You could do anjali. There was one to tangerine. 2. The classic jazz song Tangerine.

[Jim Gaffigan]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you know the song?

[Brian Bishop]

If I heard it, probably.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you'll know it. Yes, you'll know it in a second. When you find Tangerine. There was. It was like for a dietetic pill or a diet chocolate bar or aids or a diet shake or something. There was a Tangerine song. Anjali was taking a former song in making their own Anjali song about it. That's why it's like kind of a standard blues.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They. There's a song. Yeah. Like Because I'm a Woman. Oh, really? Yeah. I think there's a song, a jazz song. I can bring the band.

[Gina Grad]

It's a real song.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's a W O M a. Yeah, I think so. The reason it sounds good.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh. Is because it was an actual. Yeah, that's a real sense.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But Chris, no reason for you not to bring any form of enjoyment to, you know, whoever shows up at you, whatever you're doing. Tangerine was what commercial? I'm all commercialed up because Chrissy's coming in.

[Max Pata]

I'm seeing that the pet milk company used the melody for a liquid diet product called Sago.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, maybe that's it.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe I was thinking about.

[Brian Bishop]

You did say diet product?

[Adam Carolla]

Did say diet something. See if we can find that and you can find the real jazz. It's almost like A jazz standard. Like the Girl From Ipanema or something. It's like. It's one of those songs. We'll see if we can find that. Christy Bishop's coming in. We're going to talk about all that.

[Gina Grad]

I'd love for her to rate it.

[Adam Carolla]

Stuff. Let's see. What was that? See if we can find that song.

[Max Pata]

Also, it became a jingle for Pillsbury's Figurines. Another.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, figurines. That's what it is. A diet bar. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Is this Tangerine? I don't know, Molly.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know yet. We'll have to hear the. I don't know about this.

[Max Pata]

Antha Jasmine. Over 100 acts of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Dances. No. Oh, I gotta hear it. Listen. Yeah, that's a slower version.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this is what it is. Yeah. If you play the faster version. Over a hundred bands or whatever jazz groups have covered Tangerine. It was a big jazz song. It's kind of a Take five. Either like that, but. Do you have the Figurine song? Yeah, we got it. All right, here we go. Then we'll bring for every chocolate mousse.

[Gina Grad]

I've missed For every eclair I resist.

[Adam Carolla]

Figurines are sweet revenge for everything that.

[Gina Grad]

I've passed by Banana splits or lemon.

[Adam Carolla]

Pie Figurines are sweet Reverse. Look at that jar.

[Gina Grad]

Now, a dieter can have an occasion.

[Adam Carolla]

Occasional sweet.

[Gina Grad]

If the sweet is figurines. The diet sweet. Just 138 calories a bar.

[Adam Carolla]

Figurines are sweet revenge it's still not the Tangerine version of it, but find me. Just find me the jazz tangerine version. Not like the weird old timey one, but sound like a slightly more uptempo one. God, how fucked up were we with diets?

[Gina Grad]

Well, yeah. And sweet revenge. And a tight shot on her crazy eyes. That's creepy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The Internet's weird, right? It's a popular song. No Tangerine on the Internet. Max. Pata.

[Max Pata]

I think I found it. I got to forward it to Kaylin.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. So I can put it up. I wonder what that. I wonder. It was figurines, but that was not the figurines. Tangerine one. They must have got sued or they picked it up later or something like that. Oh.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably need the Sinatra version of it. Sounds like the musical version of it. Anyway. I don't know. See if Mel Torme ever covered Tangerine. Or. Here we go.

[Brian Bishop]

I got Sinatra doing it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. Sound familiar?

[Brian Bishop]

Vaguely. My grandpa probably played at some point.

[Adam Carolla]

I probably only know it from the figurines commercial.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, we missed that put that on.

[Adam Carolla]

Your list of things to look for in a later, later life. Yep. Christie's coming in and we'll knock down. We'll do commercial grade with her. She has thoughts. And we'll do that right after this.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Adam Carolla is unprepared Aug. 17 at the Golden State Theater in Monterrey.

[Brian Bishop]

This is a fun one.

[Adam Carolla]

Delusional. Delusional. I do feel like that's something that's going around more and more these days. Maybe it started with pets. In the past, animals were pretty much either beast of burden or we ate them. Either you gotta pull my fat ass up this canyon side or I'm gonna eat you. Or both. When you run out of gas dragging my fat ass up the side of this hill, then I'll eat you.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Adam Carolla is unprepared in Monterey, Aug. 17, Golden State Theater. Adam Carolla and Adam Ray get your Tickets [e-mail].

[Adam Carolla]

Figurines do a lady proud.

[Gina Grad]

They're the diet lunch that you can crunch out loud.

[Adam Carolla]

Figurines.

[Gina Grad]

Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. They're the most unquiet kind of diet lunch. Figurines. Brand diet meals from Pillsbury. When everyone is munching, you can crunch along. My shape belongs to figurines.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Dawson was telling me he takes one whole pineapple and two cases of figurines, puts them in a blender. Then he takes a sprig of parsley, he throws that in on top. Drink that for breakfast, eat a couple of prefab burritos, and he's on his way.

[Gina Grad]

He's good till dinner.

[Adam Carolla]

How crazy was our society and diet chocolates? And I missed out.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So gross.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

What? 30 years ago. Advertising during that era.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, boy.

[Brian Bishop]

Come along.

[Adam Carolla]

You say 30 years ago. That was getting on to 45. I mean, that's early 70s, mid, early 70s material there. We're old. We are. Because it is. Because when you go 30 years ago and they go. You mean 1990.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You go, no, that was not. That was not. Spuds Mackenzie.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Oh, God.

[Adam Carolla]

That was something else.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Now we're 40 plus.

[Adam Carolla]

The good news is the moms. There was a totally different version of what a mom or what a wife would be back then. It was insane. And to compare and contrast to my mom was insane to me.

[Brian Bishop]

And so much of messaging was. You had to keep up. Remember the Folgers?

[Adam Carolla]

All the stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

You had to maintain the standard.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. I mean, the social pressure was on. You literally had to keep up the maxi pad commercials. I need roller skates. To keep up with you. It's like woman, young attorney. Do you remember that one?

[Gina Grad]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I don't think so. Sorry. Now, Max Apata, I need roller skates to keep up with you. It was a tampons commercial. Christy is here. Commercial Grade is the name of her podcast. It's available on Apple Podcasts and of course, the Twitter pardonmycrums. I love the fact that you're baking what you've been.

[Gina Grad]

We sure do.

[Adam Carolla]

What you been doing lately?

[Brian Bishop]

Talk about the badino and the Mozza dinner.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Oh, we have. Now we're competitive daycare parents, so we have a rotating barbecue. And when it was our turn, our friend, like, sous vided a bunch of crap and he was being all fancy. And Brian, we're like, okay, it's time for me to jump back in the pool.

[Gina Grad]

I haven't cooked.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I haven't baked in a while, but we had Ostria Mozza. It's a. It's kind of a fancy foo foo restaurant over on, like, Melrose. They have a butterscotch boudino. It's basically pudding. It's like butterscotch pudding. But I made Italian dessert, but I made it from scratch and had, like, vanilla whipped cream on top of it and like crunchy little amaretto cookies and like a layer of like, smoky caramel on top. Scratch. You guys, I'm back.

[Brian Bishop]

I broke keto and had two.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you gotta have two. All right, so we got Taco Bell. Yes. The bell has gone to take over.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Happening as we speak right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, is it?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Yeah, Today.

[Adam Carolla]

Where?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I guess when this airs, it won't.

[Adam Carolla]

Where they at? Where they move.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It's the V Hotel in Palm Springs. Oh, still Garagos property.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so was that the same one or the first one?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It's the same one. So it's going for four days.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, so they did it. They stopped for a little while and then they came back.

[Gina Grad]

No, no, it's just the one pop up.

[Brian Bishop]

They announced it, but they were being cagey about where it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

So it was the teaser. The teaser campaign. So it was like, it's going to happen.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what they're taking reservations. Probably you're thinking of. Remember, they sold out in like two hours.

[Adam Carolla]

Were. We made a lot of pictures of the rooms and the floats and promo pictures.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Promo pictures.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yes. Oh, I'm taking crazy pills. So this has never happened. It hasn't happened yet.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

That isn't happen. It just makes you feel like it's. It's going to happen. It was trying to build all the momentum and the tease out.

[Adam Carolla]

You guys did a fantastic job.

[Brian Bishop]

Imagine the fire festival. But it happened.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I was seeing pictures of the rooms and the floats and the people and everything. So I thought we did it already.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I think people had a great time. No. So right now it's happening.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Yesterday was a press day. Today's the real day. For the rest of the weekend. It sold out in two minutes. People are flying in from 21 states.

[Adam Carolla]

Why? Unbelievable.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

So crazy. I mean, I saw a guy on Twitter last night saying they delivered me a crunch strap in my hand in the hot tub. I don't know. That's why, that's why it's better than that.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

There's a guy who posted a video. They have every single thing you have in a hotel room. They have taken it out. Whether it's like the mug, it's the amenities, like the toiletries.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

The key is a hot sauce Diablo hot sauce packet.

[Adam Carolla]

Literally.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

The bedding, they did the walls. You got Taco Bell sauce on the walls. You have your hot sauce pillow. You have a little amenities bag. You've got all of the fire sauces and the chips, the menu. So you have 24, seven Taco Bell room service. Yeah. There's the mugs. If you'd like to take home a piece of the Bell. Yeah, sure. Buy it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Right. Every single piece of this is getting stolen. Let's be very clear about that.

[Adam Carolla]

So is this, is this going to. Now, obviously this is the beginning of what will be the new normal. Right. Like there's just. We're going to find different brands, different pop ups and takeovers.

[Gina Grad]

And we just did a story about, and I wondered if you knew about it, renting the Oscar Mayer Weino Mobile as an Airbnb. So I think people are following suit.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my God, really?

[Gina Grad]

No.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

That's brilliant though. Not a lot of room and maybe it smells.

[Adam Carolla]

Chrissy, here's a question for you. For advertising mine.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

If you're Del Taco and you're like, I want to now we need to counter strike and we need to take over Holiday Inn. Are people gonna go, speaking of hot sauce, weak sauce, sloppy second sauce, like you don't wanna get caught. Invent your own thing.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Create your own thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Do another takeover. It just seems like you got this idea and now you're doing it.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Unless they do their own crazy Del Taco ver that's like really unique and true to their own brand.

[Brian Bishop]

You gotta go the other direction. Like you said Do a Holiday Inn or do some sort of Motel 6 and do one RV, park something like one room.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Or go do it.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Motel is such a cult brand. It's just. It's crazy how rabid the fans are. I mean, but all, all ages, all types.

[Adam Carolla]

So do you see, I don't know, Lexus doing this or other brands? Coors Light.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Lexus partners with hotels, like as the official cars of different hotels. So it's the high end experience.

[Brian Bishop]

You work for Lex many years?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Yeah, I worked with Lexus for, for several years. Yeah. So they, they partner with specific hotels as like the. If you want to go to a restaurant, like, the Lexus will take you. Coors Light. I have no idea. I don't think so.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I got a hell of a Coors Light commercial coming for you. Why don't you. Let's give the Taco Bell takeover grade A company.

[Gina Grad]

We definitely do business with the seller again.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

No matter if I'm with the company or not, this happened before I joined. It's the coolest thing of all time. Like, I went to Taco Bell for the first time in a drive through for 20 in 20 years last week.

[Gina Grad]

And it was awesome.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

She was like, welcome to Taco Bell. Can I take your order? I was like, I'm gonna need a few minutes because it's been a while. She's literally like, it's the same as it was 20 years ago. And then I thought of Adam and, you know, seven ingredients makes 25 million different things.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Still the same.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, still delicious. I've always. It's always funny about, like, I always. I don't know, I used to have a joke about Mexican food, but it's like, hey, for breakfast, it's tortillas and beans and rice and beef and eggs. And then what's for lunch? Well, that's beef and then rice and then beans and then tortillas. And then what's for dinner? Let me guess. Cheese and rye.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Don't forget the guacamole.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Just say you really. The breakfast adds eggs and dinner adds guacamole usually, but that's about it. It's really five ingredients that just get turned into an infinite number of things. Right.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Can I just say, for the Taco Bell Hotel, the coolest thing about it is that they've like made it kind of highbrow a bit. So you have champagne where they're literally putting in strawberry sangria, Baja Blast popsicles in the champagne. They have popcorn at the pool. That's dustwood verde Seasoning. And they have a whole restaurant. See, there you go. There's a video of one of them. They have performances at the pool. And then this is the coolest thing. They have a salon where you can get cinnamon twist braids in your hair. Baja manis and fire fades. Literally. Like you get the Taco Bell logo where tacos shape.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, how many of the people getting paha manis are gonna be dudes?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I don't know, but I want one right now. I'm going later on today to my place and I'm getting this.

[Gina Grad]

Look at this. That's amazing. It's amazing. What's up with the kitchen? How are they move? How. How are they getting this Taco Bell product to all these people?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Unclear on the logistics, I would imagine. They've got some trucks there.

[Gina Grad]

I don't know.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Or are they just really going after.

[Adam Carolla]

The local Taco Bell? I used to say this all the time. I haven't said it in a while. This is why the terrorists hate us. They see this and they go, jesus Christ, when are you guys ever gonna stop? Take your foot off the hedonistic accelerator for just a second in coast, could you please.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I'll get you a T shirt.

[Adam Carolla]

Please. I was going to wear my Taco Bell T shirt today. I should have because I was given a Taco Bell T shirt by Taco Bell.

[Brian Bishop]

You were gonna wear it, but it was clean. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. So a. And then we go into the Mercedes Benz cause noticed, of course, Subaru, very puppy centric. But I noticed Mercedes Benz is getting in the puppy business as well.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Getting in the puppy game. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Maxpad. I see Coors Light and I see the word shower and bra. But the commercial I just saw was Coors Light bra.

[Max Pata]

Christie has a shower commercial.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

There's three of them that I told you about.

[Max Pata]

I'll find the bra commercial. So we have.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, sorry, Go ahead. Mercedes. We'll take a look at that spot. A couple is going to adopt a puppy. This is a Mercedes suv.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It's called rescue.

[Adam Carolla]

Rescue looking, licking. There's the one pouting.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

They're taking the long way home. He loves ice cream. Freedom, you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Freedom.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Wind in his face.

[Adam Carolla]

He's curious at a horse.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

This dog won the lottery, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Are you crying?

[Adam Carolla]

No. No. You're crying today for exceptional offers. Mercedes Benz the best or nothing.

[Gina Grad]

When he did the little head.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

She is actually like tearing up this end scene.

[Adam Carolla]

Subaru experiencing her menses.

[Brian Bishop]

She's going through menopause, you guys give.

[Adam Carolla]

Her a. Oh, Dear hot flashes Jesus.

[Gina Grad]

He did the little head move.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

She's a new mom. And here we go. Cries at everything.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, Lord.

[Adam Carolla]

But yeah. So they made Hitler's car, but now they're making this commercial. But again, in a world where we're much more interested in vibes and feelings than fuel economy or torque or warranties, every commercial I used to see growing up with a car would go, warranty. It's got 100,000 mile rust proof warranty. The drive train. Nobody cares about that anymore. Nobody wants to be hit with any of that. Just about vibes.

[Brian Bishop]

Let me hit you with a challenging point here. A wise man named Adam Carolla once said on the show more than once, every car today is good, except for maybe the smart car. Every car today works. Every car is good. Every car is good warranty, every car's safe. Every car is just a little bit different. I mean, one car gets 10, 10 more torque or 10% more gas mileage or whatever in that world. If you're a car manufacturer and your world is every car is good, we can't differentiate ourselves by saying, hey guys, we're a Mercedes. And everyone else is like, I'm gonna go look at Lexus and BMW. They're all just as good. And why not take the angle of. All right, we're going to go totally outside the box and start appealing to your emotions. Because every car is good, we can't convince you that we're 10% better than the other car.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Can I just give you the actual marketing answer to that?

[Brian Bishop]

I want the actual long question.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I'll give you a quick answer. So there's a thing called the sales funnel on the very top of it. It's an upside down pyramid. And if you're looking at like awareness based messaging, which is very much emotion based. So this type of ad is called emotional brand resonance. You want someone to feel it split to your point once they start looking for a car. And it's called the consideration set. Like, it's really weird. Research says people consider an average of 3.5 car brands. Where's the 0.5? Okay, it's like a smart car. It's a tiny.

[Adam Carolla]

So Fiat.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Tiny. Fiat. That's when you want to hear all the warranty, product stuff. The torque, miles per gallon, all of that.

[Gina Grad]

But what gets you.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

There's a time and a place. The emotion gets you there so you can be hit with the rational message.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, smart answer. All right, what do we give it?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I'm glad that I worked on Gina.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina became a heap.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I'd just give it a Tina.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't even see the movie Brian Song.

[Gina Grad]

I can't.

[Adam Carolla]

You'll literally be. That's a sob. It'll be on the ground in a fetal position and a puddle of tears.

[Gina Grad]

They took the sad dog.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I'll give it a B minus. I give it a B because there's a dog. It's sweet, but it looks like a ripoff of Subaru. They don't have an offer, which is interesting. It's a summer event. So like, it's like come on in and buy it. So they have the three cars and like the pack shot at the very end, but there's no number because there's three cars. You can't say starting from because it's not indicative. One specific.

[Gina Grad]

So it's not even like they're trying to offer you a deal. It's just. This is our new campaign.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It's a whole new campaign, but it's meant to get you in to buy. They're basically trying to sell cars during the summer. Yeah, they're called the summer event.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I give it a B minus.

[Adam Carolla]

I miss the old days when Mercedes would just pull Santa on the sled. A whole group of Mercedes pulling Santa.

[Gina Grad]

And he was just a humble melon farmer.

[Adam Carolla]

Blue eyed man, heavy set, probably Trump supporter. Oh, yeah. All right, so then we get into Coors. Now, I found the one Coors commercial where it's like the official brew of ladies who are popping their bra. That's the one. I saw the sort of independent, attractive, but not over the top, I guess. Kind of single, working, professional ladies coming back to their apartment after a day of work and just watching scores. I was a little surprised by it, not offended, but I was like, whoa, boy, we've come a long way from. Again, from like your Spuds mackenzie's or chicks playing volleyball on the beach. Yes, Here we go.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It's called Made to Chill.

[Adam Carolla]

She opens her stylish apartment. Modest but stylish. Kicks her nails.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Band aids on the back of the feet.

[Adam Carolla]

Feeds her fish. She's tired of the fridge. Pulls out her cool Rockies are blue.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

She ignored the white wine, went straight to the coarse cracks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, girl taking the bra.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And then. Then pulls it out of her.

[Gina Grad]

That's how it's done.

[Adam Carolla]

Pulls it out of her sleep. Now she's gonna sit down.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

The official beer of being done wearing a bra.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Bishop]

Girls drink beer. Girls buy beer too.

[Gina Grad]

Doing it for themselves.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

So can I read you what Adweek.

[Adam Carolla]

Said about this fear from Smoking the Bandit, everybody.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I would love to hear Gina's perspective. No offense to the men in the room, but okay. From adweek. Many women can relate to the feeling of relief that comes with taking off your bra at the end of a long day. It's a small but significant act that marks a shift from day to night. A subtle nod to the fact that an evening of Netflix and maybe a few glasses of wine.

[Gina Grad]

Lie wine.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

How about Coors?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Coors wants to be the alcoholic beverage of choice for moments like these. I mean, let's try hardcore's label.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. I don't know. I think it's super specific. It's like, if you're a guy you don't even know, don't worry about it. This is such a specific woman thing that everyone can resonate with and identify with.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I feel like I did that in college. Yeah, I haven't done that in 20 years.

[Gina Grad]

But don't you, like, does that out the sleeve?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

My clasp is in the back.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that's how I meant to show those cute little hats. But don't you love it?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Take it off.

[Gina Grad]

Don't you love that sort of inside joke element of that?

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

I think that's really funny.

[Brian Bishop]

It's insight.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It is an insight. It's fine. But the campaign. So you found this one? I found the other one. That's shower Beer. It's about a disclaimer. I was like, I don't get mad about disclaimers. You do. But I was like, what is this disclaimer? This is crazy. But it's part of a new campaign called Made to Chill. It's the first effort from their new agency called Leo Burnett, which is out of Chicago. There's a third one, which is multicultural. It's Spanish speaking, where two guys wake up in the morning and watch soccer and, like, make breakfast sandwiches and they grab a Coors light because, like, you watch soccer early. Okay, so it's part of a full campaign.

[Brian Bishop]

But this one.

[Adam Carolla]

This one is a gal.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Or this is a dude.

[Adam Carolla]

Dude.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It's shower beer.

[Adam Carolla]

Shower beer.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Ghost is taking a shower. He's enjoying a shower. There's, like, dialing it in.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It's to the Gypsy Kings.

[Adam Carolla]

The music reaches for a beer, but.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Do you notice the. Did I already say it?

[Gina Grad]

Yep. I said do not attempt.

[Adam Carolla]

I do not attempt.

[Brian Bishop]

This thing that we're trying to corner the market on.

[Gina Grad]

This song is I Did it my.

[Adam Carolla]

Way, the official beer of drinking in the shower. Look, Maybe this is Dr. Drew talking because I've been sitting next to him too long. But drinking in the shower would be like a mark for alcohol or something. Like, I drink plenty and I don't drink in the shower.

[Brian Bishop]

It's not going that way, Dawson. Please jump onto my back here, ladies. That is an insight. Dudes, drinking in the shower is fantastic.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

You tell me.

[Adam Carolla]

I had a beer in the shower.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Less than a month ago.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not saying it's not great. I'm saying when Dr. Drew hears about someone who had, like, two DUIs, he'd go, oh, he's an alcoholic. And you go, well, he was coming from a Christmas party. He'll go, that's an alcoholic. And, you know, he's having occasional whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

If I can be specific, I feel.

[Adam Carolla]

Like drinking in the shower would be one of them.

[Gina Grad]

You can't wait.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

To me, like, it was a rite.

[Adam Carolla]

Of pass in college. You live alone and you're like, oh.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Shit, I can drink in the shower.

[Brian Bishop]

This is the situation.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, you spent.

[Brian Bishop]

You spent the first half of the day, a couple hours on the beach. You've been drinking. You want to keep the party going, but you got to shower up for going out for dinner. Shower goes into the beer.

[Adam Carolla]

Goes into the shower beer.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Easy. I've had shower champagne.

[Adam Carolla]

Never. Can't say that I haven't heard of it. That's what I can't say. I don't approve. I just never had. Never done it. Although I never take showers.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. How would you know?

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Ceramic things.

[Adam Carolla]

You. That's for your beer poo. Your beer. Oh, for beer.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Oh, little ceramic show.

[Adam Carolla]

Because I've been to the tile store a few times. I think they call that those shampoo some things. But you're saying beer.

[Gina Grad]

Beer holders.

[Adam Carolla]

I did not know that.

[Brian Bishop]

Science now, DAWSON, you have 100% put beer in your hair in the shower.

[Gina Grad]

It can't be good for you.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

I 100% have poured a beer on my head in the shower.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Yes, but a cold beer, not a warm beer.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

It was a cold beer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, of course. Right?

[Gina Grad]

Decadent.

[Adam Carolla]

How long is that shower? What? Take two. How long? Less than a month ago. Go. What were you drinking in there?

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Coors Light.

[Adam Carolla]

C minus. It is the official beer of Jesus Christ of showering.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It worked.

[Adam Carolla]

You should be suing for copyright infringement. Like, hey, man, you ripped my idea. That's me, dude.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm the new the tree.

[Adam Carolla]

It's my life story, broph.

[Gina Grad]

At the very least, cast me.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

He's too old. They're targeting millennials and Gen Z. So I know. Let's be very specific.

[Adam Carolla]

Good. I feel like there used to be. There was a whole campaign, I think in the 90s, probably it was Coke for breakfast. Remember that campaign?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't remember that.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Superstar.

[Adam Carolla]

Poor Maxapata's gonna have to now dig for this. But there was a thing where it's like, hey, man, have a Coke for breakfast.

[Gina Grad]

Seems like a horrible idea.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Coke wants to sell Coca Cola. And they're saying, hey, it's got a lot of caffeine in it. You put sugar in your coffee. So why don't you have a Coke for breakfast? And I used to watch that go. Really? I kind of feel that way about, let's drink in the shower. You're sending a message of morning drinking. It's just, I would if I had a wish for my son. Oh, boy. And somebody said. Somebody said, works out in the a.m. versus drinks in the a.m. i probably would say works out if I had.

[Gina Grad]

A wish, but you're uptight.

[Adam Carolla]

It doesn't mean he could then go out off to a very, you know, could be the head of a law firm. I don't know.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Give him a break. He'll be fine. He'll be all right.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, you're talking to a guy who likes to drink. It's just. I do it. I do it outside the shower.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, are you kidding me?

[Adam Carolla]

Coke.

[Gina Grad]

Diet Coke. As a. As a morning pickup into a coffee mug.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

No, a teacup. It's like a.

[Gina Grad]

With a corn flake and the pink rope.

[Adam Carolla]

What year was Coke in the. In the morning?

[Max Pata]

This had us from 87.

[Adam Carolla]

87? Yeah. They made a push. Wow. Like, they did it kind of. I think it kind of was like New Coke. I think they. That kind of went, hey, we're gonna do this thing. We're gonna hit it hard. And they hit it, and everyone went, we don't like that idea.

[Brian Bishop]

It worked on one man, Mike Bishop.

[Adam Carolla]

To this day, Diet Coke in the.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Morning and a Hershey's Bar. Hershey's Bar and a Diet Coke and.

[Gina Grad]

A Hershey's Bar Champion.

[Brian Bishop]

He's not a health nut.

[Adam Carolla]

No, not so much for breakfast.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

He gets up at 5 in the morning.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta. I gotta say, I make a little room for the folks that get up before the sun comes up. Also, I do believe that when you have to get up at unnatural hours, you must dangle some carrot. Ironically, not a carrot made out of chocolate, but you need something. When that alarm goes off at 5am Your first thought is, oh, shit. And your second thought is, ooh, Snickers bar.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And you need that. Yeah.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

You do.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I'm with you. Although you're the only. He's the only one who does that.

[Brian Bishop]

Kept that company alive.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

A lot of Diet Coke.

[Adam Carolla]

So what do we give? Well, what do we give the bra commercial? Because the other one was just for the disclaimer, which is also.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

That's part of the same thing.

[Brian Bishop]

But I like the Insight.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I'm saying it's. It's all about taking. Actually, do you think the Insight's funny? It showcases various scenarios in which people put their phones down to just enjoy everyday life. Foresight should be part of that. The Insights are strong. Like their human insights are kind of fun. They got us talking for 10 minutes, so I'd give it a B plus.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

B plus.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Yeah, I'd give it a solid B plus.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Okay. A little higher than the Mercedes spot.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I mean, it's a. Yeah, the B minus for Mercedes, though. Would you ever remember that that's a Mercedes?

[Gina Grad]

I would have absolutely no idea.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It was a car commercial, so we're lucky we're not giving it a C.

[Adam Carolla]

I watched it and I'd been drinking. Not in the shower, but when I was done, I'm like, I gotta buy me one of them pounds. Is that. What is that pound for? Is that what we're.

[Gina Grad]

I gotta get over to Best Friends la.

[Adam Carolla]

I think this. Maybe there's. I could buy a part of a ownership in a pound.

[Brian Bishop]

Fractional ownership.

[Gina Grad]

What's the warranty?

[Adam Carolla]

Private jet. I had no idea it was for. For a vehicle. No, no. You found the. You found a. A jingle for Diet. A song for Diet Coke in the Morning. Sweet.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Max Pata]

This is an old 80s radio jingle.

[Adam Carolla]

Beat the feeling, it's another nine. Traffic out there is bumper to bumper to and from the Coke in the morning.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a pretty good jingle.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

This must have been when Heart was on top of.

[Gina Grad]

I vaguely remember this jingle.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It's long.

[Gina Grad]

You remember that?

[Adam Carolla]

Scandal Goodbye to you.

[Gina Grad]

You totally know this, Brian.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I remember the last part of this.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

It's actually good.

[Adam Carolla]

Please tell me it was all Diet Coke, because I just remembered his Coke in the morning and seemed to hit the diet part of it. The commercial was the page. The print we saw was a Diet Coke.

[Gina Grad]

Adam, they want to be healthy.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

At least you didn't say Pepsi.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Max Pata]

I don't know, because it says that they took note of a Jolt Cola success.

[Gina Grad]

So Jolt Cola started all the sugar, twice the caffeine.

[Max Pata]

That's right. So I don't know if they they did the whole diet thing with it.

[Brian Bishop]

Jolt.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me hit Castrol Edge. Speaking of good products, strong under pressure. Engines lose up to 10% of performance due to friction. Castrol Edge with fluid titanium transforms under pressure. Keep the metal parts from rubbing and robbing power. Three times. Three times, fool. Three times stronger than leading. Full synthetic against viscosity breakdown. It is the best. It is Castrol Edge. Christy, I'm going to give you some plugs here and then we're going to move on with the news. Commercial grades podcast available on Apple Podcasts as well. And check out pardon my crumbs on Instagram and Twitter as well, because Christy's knocking it out of the ballpark. We will let. Oh, Christy. Bishop.com is where you can go as well. Take a quick break. We'll come back, do the news after this. Give me the news with grad. News with Geno Grad. Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina Grad. Trouble in the Middle East, Celebrity drunk meltdowns. Sneak News with Gina.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

The news with Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

Well, we just had so much great beer talk with Christy. I figure we will lead with this one with the Coors Light and all that stuff. If you're sad about your carb cutting ways and it's impeding on your ability to drink beer. Not Dawson or Brian, but please, I'm listening. Quite the contrary, Women's Health has created a list of beers that are under 4 grams of carbs. Usually beers are 14 grams.

[Brian Bishop]

I was just looking at this list list last night.

[Gina Grad]

Really? You spent a lot of time on Women's Health?

[Brian Bishop]

No, I was looking for beers under 4 grams of carb.

[Gina Grad]

So you can usually tell a beer is low carb cause it will say light, but you're gonna want to check the label just to be sure. And I'll just rattle off the list here.

[Adam Carolla]

And I don't know if this is included. Here's sort of the dance in my guesstimation. So we were kind of talking about this in terms of tortillas the other day, which was we're off the air, but we were talking about like, well, instead of a big full size flour tortilla, how about the little street taco corn tortilla, which is lower in carbs and all that kind of stuff. The thing about beer, it strikes me that ultimately you enjoy your beer, but ultimately when people reach for alcohol, they're looking to feel the effects of it in one way or another. And so you go wine. Well, wine has carbs in it, but you drink a lesser amount. It has a higher content of alcohol, right.

[Gina Grad]

Higher concentrate.

[Adam Carolla]

So to me, the beers that are like, well, this is a low carb beer is good, but at 3.1% alcohol. Now I'm drinking seven of these to kind of catch a buzz.

[Gina Grad]

Go back to your regular Sam Adams now.

[Adam Carolla]

So now it's kind of like, like, well, wait, maybe you get a double IPA at 11% alcohol versus the light light at 2.7. Whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks for your buck.

[Adam Carolla]

So my feeling kind of is the low carb is good, but with the low alcohol that goes along with the low carb. Now what are we doing? Because we're drinking seven beers that are low carb or two double IPAs. That's kind of the interesting thought. Maxapat. It'd be interesting to figure out, like what a stone double IPA is and like a 12 ounce in the carb department. So what somebody needs to do is the low carb, high alcohol.

[Brian Bishop]

Figure out, figure out the ratio. Most alcohol for your carb for your buck. Most alcohol per carb.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we were just talking about jolt. Like, they just went, hey, this is for kids who want to behavioral problems. Really want to doodle on a peachy folder fat. This is like if you said to me, well, you want to go low on the carbs. They're like, yeah, but again, 2.7 alcohols. It's not anything. So if you jacked it up and jacked the carbs down. Well, now we're kind of talking.

[Gina Grad]

Now we're doing.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if there is one of those things.

[Gina Grad]

I just assumed this was more about.

[Adam Carolla]

Kind of 12 ounce mixpam.

[Gina Grad]

This is more about lounging by the pool at a pool party all day.

[Adam Carolla]

We can do the math. But he just gave me the.22.

[Max Pata]

They serve it and they serve.

[Adam Carolla]

But do they have them in a small.

[Brian Bishop]

Just divide in half.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll do it. All right, go ahead.

[Gina Grad]

This seems to be more like, you know, like, like Brian's in Hawaiian. Gonna sit on the lounge chair all.

[Adam Carolla]

Day and have give me the low carbs. But I want to know what the alcohol content is.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, I'm sure it's very good.

[Brian Bishop]

Would you indulge me if I can venture some guesses? Because I wasn't looking at this list, but I was doing this research last night and it's not the ones you necessarily think of. Like, I feel like Miller Light has a few more carbs than you'd expect. So for sure, these are all widely available beers. I Assume.

[Gina Grad]

Hold on.

[Adam Carolla]

I just want to jump in because I'm going to have Max Pat go on this goose hunt. See if you can find out the alcohol content of the beers that are on that list as well. Sorry, go ahead.

[Brian Bishop]

No, it's fine. Corona Premiere is probably on there.

[Gina Grad]

It is on there.

[Brian Bishop]

Michelob Ultra is probably on there.

[Gina Grad]

It is.

[Brian Bishop]

Bud Select 55 is like the.

[Gina Grad]

Jesus, Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I've committed these to memory.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, listen, he's a motivated camper. He's on. He's committed to low carbs, and he's committed to having a beer every morning. Every morning. Sits back in the shower.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you not want me to take a shower? Do you not want me to take a shower? And then there's other ones on there. Like, there's like a Rolling Rock. Anyway.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna fly through them. You got your Natty Light, of course, Michelob Ultra, Milwaukee's Best Light, Michelob Ultra Amber, Miller Light, Corona Premier, Miller 64, Busch Light, and Michelob Ultra Pure gold.

[Adam Carolla]

These are all in the under. What amount?

[Gina Grad]

Four. Four grams?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but again, if you drink a six pack of them, it adds up a little more. So I want to know with alcohol. I want the alcohol to carb winner. That's what I'm looking for. See if you can check those. Chris, I just texted you that. And I don't know if Vinnie would say that. Well, no, you can't do one without the other or both or something. But I imagine you could, because Vinny will say, oh, drink vodka or scotch. No carbs, but you get the alcohol. So if the alcohol isn't attached to the carb, then why hasn't. In a world of specialties, why hasn't somebody juiced a beer? Like, why hasn't someone taken a low carb beer and juiced it with alcohol?

[Brian Bishop]

Like, well, then it'd be a malt beverage, wouldn't it?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I just mean. Look, it might taste like shit, but what I'm saying is you don't want the carbs. You do want the buzz. Why not get some more alcohol into the low carb world? The low carb world drops the alcohol normally. Now someone who knows about beer is screaming while they're driving. Cause it would taste weird or whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

No one adds alcohol to beer. It ferments. Like, I don't know how you would.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they'd make double IPAs, maybe, or triple IPAs. Like, I guess you couldn't. If you look at IPAs, for instance, some will be 4.9. Some will be 7. Oh, some. Then there's doubles, it'll be like 9. Sometimes there's some crazy triple. Like a 13% alcohol. I don't know how.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I don't know about the brewing.

[Adam Carolla]

Process, but you might not be. No, what I'm saying is you may or somebody may. In a carb obsessed world, and also in a world where we make one of everything, a million different flavors of Coke and Diet Coke and everything else, somebody may take this low carb light beer and physically add alcohol to it.

[Brian Bishop]

Some grain alcohol or something.

[Adam Carolla]

You get it? Imagine there's a low carb alcohol, and instead of 3.1, it's 8, right? And you drink two of them.

[Brian Bishop]

While we're letting Chris do the math, let me throw that to you guys because I've been literally thinking about this for 24 hours. I'm gonna be in Hawaii if people hear this. What drinks would you guys recommend? Because everything out there is either fruity, you know what I mean? Super sugar and fruity, or it's like, it's beer or whatever at the pool. And I'm trying to avoid both.

[Gina Grad]

You know what I do, especially on a hot summer day, trying to do what you're doing? I like to do a little tequila and soda water. It's refreshing. You won't get super shit faced real quick. Put a little lime or lemon for a. But, yeah, tequila and soda is a.

[Adam Carolla]

Very refreshing choice when I'm in low carb mode. But if you want to, I'll take. Okay, here's something, as I've explained before, but I was complaining about glasses and stuff like that. I'm a stoic, as you guys know, and that means I'm into temperance, right? So you're on vacation, so let's not be super hardcore. We're like, give me. I'll make my palms into a cup and you dump grain alcohol into it. I'll drink salsa, you know what I mean? And it's like, if you're keeping real carb focused, I'll just get vodka and soda water and a lemon. But you're on vacation. You want to enjoy yourself.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm gonna waddle back into the studio in a week.

[Adam Carolla]

I have found that. I have found that if you go to a decent place and they make their own margarita mix, it's not Mrs. T's syrup, corn syrup, whatever, but they do fresh whatever and all that. They do their own. And you do that drink what I said, which is you get the salt, you get the margarita. Don't do the blender, you make it a smaller drink and you make it a double, so you're not consuming all the mix. It's a little more tequila than normally. So don't get the big fish bowl that has the one shot of tequila in it and 19 ounces of corn syrup. If you want to treat and feel like you're drinking a margarita by the pool, get the double and do it like a smaller glass. You're getting the alcohol. If you can handle the taste of the alcohol, which you can, you drink in the shower. God knows you have issues surrounding alcohol. All right, Max, Matt, you can try to find those alcohol content of those low carb beers. Stone ruination IPA. 12 ounce, 8.2 in the alcohol department, but 27 carbs. So it's a lot of carbs. And I don't think anything exists. But I'll tell you, if you told me that Miller Lite was in the low carb department but had the highest alcohol, I tend to reach for the Miller Lite. Cause if you want low carbs, then think less carbs. And if you want to catch a nice buzz by the pool and you could do it on three Bears versus four Smart.

[Gina Grad]

Why not?

[Adam Carolla]

There you go. All right. Sorry, everyone.

[Gina Grad]

Sorry. Yeah, Chris, I'm trying to get this sent to you. I don't know why it's not going through. So the Chicago White Sox will play a game against the New York Yankees next August at the site in Iowa where the movie Field of Dreams was filmed. This according to newser and the ap.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you know how the figurines commercial and the Anjali commercial got me angry at my mom?

[Gina Grad]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Feel the dreams. Made me angry at my dad.

[Gina Grad]

Everywhere. Everywhere you look.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. Wanna have a catch?

[Gina Grad]

Is this heaven? No, it's Iowa.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So they're gonna go for it. Major League Baseball announced recently that the White Sox will play host to the Yankees in dyersville, Iowa on August 13, 2020. Gonna be aired on fall. A temporary 8,000 seat stadium will be built on the site to accommodate the first major league game ever played in Iowa.

[Brian Bishop]

They'll have to make some sort of fence because it's just corn, right? Or at least it was in the movie.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, in the movie it was.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I have no idea if blocked at all from my memory, my mind.

[Gina Grad]

Well, and I think that's become. That place has become a major hot spot for tourists. So I'm pretty sure it's probably gated off by now.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Miller Light alcohol content. Here we go. I don't need the exact list that just light. Just look up. Light. They're all light. That's kind of the point. I'm just curious what the average Coors light, Miller light. Okay, go ahead. Yep.

[Max Pata]

I'm gonna need a minute. I just got the list sent.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't need just any of the lights. It's fine. Okay, I'll hit Tommy John. Lots of underwear brands claim to be big on comfort. So why are 75% of men and women dissatisfied with their underwear? They haven't tried Tommy John. Over 7 million pairs sold. I'm wearing mine right now. They're the best. You never go back. The legs never ride up. Waistbands never roll down. Horizontal quick draw fly saves men minutes. 217 minutes of fumbling per year on average. I don't know if you guys knew that. Look that up too. Max ban air fabric guarantees zero visibility in the panty lines for the women.

[Gina Grad]

I'm wearing mine right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't try to take them off the way that lady took her bra off. No, there could be an issue.

[Gina Grad]

Not through the sleeve.

[Adam Carolla]

All backed by the best pair you'll ever wear or it's free. Guarantee it's the best. You'll never go back to what you're currently wearing if you go with Tommy John. Right. Dawson, hurry to tommyjohn.com AdamNow to get.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

20% off your first order. That's tommyjohn.com Adam for 20% off. Tommyjohn.com.

[Adam Carolla]

So Coors Light, natural light, Miller light, They're all checking in at 4. 2, which is fair to Midland. And so if you're looking to catch a buzz and not get yourself the carbs, well then you go, I'm doing the math. It's the stone IPA was checking in at about 8% alcohol, but it was like 27% grams of carbs. Miller Lite 3.2 in the carb department. So if you drank two of those.

[Gina Grad]

You'Re back in business.

[Adam Carolla]

Six and a half in the carbs and eight and a half in alcohol.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So there you go.

[Gina Grad]

Welcome everybody.

[Adam Carolla]

Good to know.

[Gina Grad]

Well, this is going to be horrifying for some people and delightful and interesting for others, depending on what you're into. Taco Tuesday just isn't the same without that side of guac. But some restaurants, restaurants are serving what men's health describes as croc a moly in the midst of this avocado shortage. So basically a 24 pound carton of mid sized avocados costs about 66 bucks right now. And some Restaurants just can't handle it. So guess what? They're subbing in. You don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Stepping on it.

[Gina Grad]

Not even stepping on it. Completely subbing.

[Adam Carolla]

Completely subbing.

[Gina Grad]

Some people, some restaurants. According to Men's Health, I'm starting to.

[Brian Bishop]

Think of a texture. Banana.

[Jim Gaffigan]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

But squash.

[Gina Grad]

There you go. Summer squash. Okay, so here's how they're doing it.

[Brian Bishop]

They're seasoning it up with tons and tons.

[Gina Grad]

Well, in the color and everything. So evidently, restaurants blend the squash with olive oil tomatillos which are green jalapeno and garlic. And it virtually, you know, for some, it's indistinguishable. Next time you order guac, ask if you're getting the real deal because you might not be. They're very expensive right now.

[Brian Bishop]

Dawson, put it down.

[Adam Carolla]

The Gringos Locos by my house. I don't know why. Somehow Spanish. Everything loves Loco.

[Gina Grad]

They're crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

Crazy. I don't know.

[Gina Grad]

Pollo Loco.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't feel like I went insane. People preparing my poultry. That's me.

[Gina Grad]

Gonna get salmonella.

[Adam Carolla]

I know I'm crazy that way. Pardon the pun. I know they love crazy everything. But this place has the guac cart.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, good. You gotta see it.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't fake the guac cart. The guy just pulls up right in front you. And look, if you're a Mexican food place and you don't have a guac cart, get a guac cart, because that is so goddamn satisfying.

[Gina Grad]

It's a show.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, I'm always a little. I'm always a little weird when it's a little too light in color and a little too creamy when it comes from the back. You know why the most disgusting.

[Gina Grad]

With this disgusting condiment is added a lot of times.

[Brian Bishop]

Mayonnaise.

[Gina Grad]

Mayonnaise. Not even sour cream. Mayonnaise.

[Brian Bishop]

Dignity doesn't have sour cream.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, God, So gross.

[Adam Carolla]

Max, Pata, see if you can find the highest alcohol light beer. Now, for a guy who's making fun of people for drinking in the shower and being alcoholics I think we're really hammering this. The worm is turned. But the highest alcohol, lowest carb beer we can find. That should be the new weapon of choice. Go ahead. Meanwhile, yeah, have the guac cart. By the way, it's no big deal. People love it and they spend. Like, if you just said to me on an average Mexican thing, like, would you like an order of guacamole? I might go, eh, maybe not. But when that. The guacamole guy.

[Gina Grad]

Tableside guacamole. I'm in I didn't show this to you guys, but a crime was committed against me recently at a really nice restaurant in la. I got the guacamole and plantains because that was kind of the only choice that I had. And look how they decimate this guacamole with pomegranate seeds and pumpkin seeds. Why would you do that all up in it? It was the worst.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I. All right, just. Here's my simple request. If restaurant, whoever's listening, if you are hell bent on fucking up things like guacamole, things that they're not broken and it's impossible to fuck up, but if you. You are hell bent on doing that, or you want to do a version of my huevos rancheros, that is a breakfast burrito, and then you announce, this is how we do it, you must give us the opportunity to either cancel the order or modify the order.

[Gina Grad]

Pomegranate.

[Adam Carolla]

You must. If you are going to put something that's never been put on guacamole before and nobody would like. I don't know that people enjoy pumpkin seeds sitting around and eating. I don't know that they enjoy pomegranate seeds sitting around and eating. But if you're gonna take two seeds that are very low on the seed chart for human beings and desecrate this guacamole with them, you must say something and give the consumer an opportunity to go, no, thank you. Please just bring it out minus the shit you're gonna sprinkle on.

[Gina Grad]

It was a bum out.

[Adam Carolla]

And good for you. You'll have more material to disappoint more customers with.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, I'll be saving money. You know what? This is like this. When I coach football for a short period of time before the game, the referees, you know, would come up, talk to the coaches like, hey, you guys got any trick plays you're thinking about running? Just so we know. And we're like, you got taken us by surprise. We're going to call a foul or something. When you're running your trick play, I was like, yes, we do, actually. And here's how. Okay, he's obviously not going to tell the other team, but you've got to declare that otherwise they're going to.

[Adam Carolla]

If you're going to have a guy in the 70s, the number in the 70s check in is a tight end or something like that, or tackle eligible. You need to tell them this guy. Don't throw the flag. We're doing the play. But you're going to see a lineup that you're not used to seeing it's.

[Gina Grad]

Going to involve pomegranates.

[Brian Bishop]

Run across until they're the team.

[Adam Carolla]

Natty Ice. Four grams of carbs and 5.9. That's healthy. That's.

[Gina Grad]

That's why frat boys love it. That's the Natty Ice. That's the drink of choice.

[Adam Carolla]

That's pretty high. But is there Maxapata, this thing I've invented this juiced high one with the low thing that does not exist as far as we know.

[Brian Bishop]

So Natty ice is what, 4? Give me the stats again. 4 to 5.9. I found a actually kind of a crafty beer that if people want to find two grams of car. 4.7 alcohol. It's almost two and a half to one North Coast Brewing Scrimshaw Pilsner. It's two. Just two grams of carbs, almost five.

[Adam Carolla]

Forward that to. I got a road trip. Forward that to Fondelier. Wow. Case of that.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a good beer too. I've had it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you've had it.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean it's a semi popular beer. Like you know those kinds of bars. It's impossible to find Bedmo probably.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, try that. Go ahead.

[Gina Grad]

So a Greyhound bus abandoned his bus during a pit stop and left people just stranded for hours.

[Adam Carolla]

You said pit stop. Do you mean. I don't think it's called a pit stop bus stop.

[Gina Grad]

No. Like you're on the road from one city to the other and they're gonna make a pit stop at a 711 or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Go to the bathroom without racing too much.

[Gina Grad]

Roughly three hours into a trip from Dallas to Phoenix, this bus pulled over for what was supposed to be a scheduled 20 minute pit stop in Abilene, Texas. 20 minutes went by, two hours went by. People were getting very suspicious. They began to call Greyhound. In the end, the group was stranded for nine hours before the company was able to send over a replacement driver. One passenger said, hey, Greyhound did a. Did a nice thing. They bought everyone lunch waiting for the bus, but nobody's been refunded. Everyone got a gas station sandwich.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's a banana with a short stem. Why would you do that?

[Adam Carolla]

You're on a great bus stop. Bus drivers must be mostly sketchy folks. And I'm assuming, and I don't know as far as you know, if I'm Greyhound, I'd be like, where's it going from where to where?

[Gina Grad]

Dallas to Phoenix.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd be like, and how long's it.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, they didn't say.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Max Battle figure out it's Dallas to Phoenix, I think that's 10 hours in the bus or something.

[Brian Bishop]

I was gonna say 12, but not.

[Adam Carolla]

My first thing would be like. They'd be like, this is outrageous. We've been waiting here for three hours. I'd be like, let's discuss that. Are you in a hurry?

[Brian Bishop]

You did travel Greyhound.

[Adam Carolla]

Who amongst us now got a heart out? You guys paid $112. Southwest run a special right now for $69.

[Gina Grad]

That's the other year.

[Adam Carolla]

You're there in 51 minutes. So let's really focus on this notion of I'm in a hurry, you're on a bus and you're not a prisoner.

[Brian Bishop]

You said your time was valuable, but I'm looking at you.

[Adam Carolla]

The thing about bus tickets is they are like the same price as a Southwestern.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, they are.

[Adam Carolla]

Ticket.

[Brian Bishop]

How do you call Greyhound and demand a refund? Like my time is valuable. You can't say in the straight face.

[Adam Carolla]

So maxapat, if you can find the bus, just a car ride. Although when you do a car ride from Dallas to Phoenix. Phoenix add another two hours or three hours on because the bus averages a lot slower.

[Gina Grad]

Google you can pick between car, walk or transit. So just pick the transit option.

[Max Pata]

If we do that, Gene, it's 22 hours.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Change of.

[Gina Grad]

I used to go back and forth from New York to D.C. a lot when I lived in New York. And it was like the Peter Pan, you know, or Greyhound or one of those. And you got on there and you felt like a criminal. There were always two bouncers that would yell a speech at you about being rowdy on the bus and being left on the side of the road and people just shut up and sat there and we weren't allowed to speak. You weren't allowed to get up. You certainly don't get up and talk to the bus driver. They were mean.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's over 20 hours. There's no.

[Brian Bishop]

That's if you do like trains and shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I see.

[Max Pata]

I'm on the Greyhound website. It says a trip non stop Dallas to Phoenix is 21 hours, 50 minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

22 hours. How much is it? You find out what a ticket costs?

[Max Pata]

Yeah, economy's 187.

[Gina Grad]

That's a lot.

[Max Pata]

107 bucks.

[Brian Bishop]

Go to the Southwest website and do a flight right now from Dallas to Phoenix.

[Adam Carolla]

I am telling you, I've been saying this for a long time. It's more expensive to take a bus to San Francisco from LA or to Dallas from Phoenix or whatever than it is to fly from Burbank on Southwest. It is strictly for people that are scared of or have something to hide.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Or can't travel through that security. Don't want the license scanned because the 200,187 bucks. Again, Southwest can be all over the place, but you can certainly find a Southwest flight that's under 187 bucks.

[Max Pata]

Oh, so it looks like there actually are stop. They do stop in different parts for like 30 minutes at a time. 30 minutes at a time.

[Brian Bishop]

I also bet they change drivers at least once because you can't have a driver go for 21 hours.

[Adam Carolla]

You just have to have legally reasons to be on that bus other than, hey, man, I take the bus to save a few ducats. You know, how much is a Southwest flight and how long is that Southwest flight? And I'll tell you guys, I'll let you find that Max Pata. First, I want to remind people. Take the podcast one survey podcast one dot study, and the first 125 people are going to get themselves a a $20 gift certificate to restaurants dot com. So use that. Get some real guac. And one of you is getting $100Amazon gift cards. Just go to podcast one study and answer a few quick questions. All right. Anything, Max Pana.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Max Pata]

Economy for a flight is 150 bucks and two and a half hours.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

For 10% of the time. A tenth of the time.

[Adam Carolla]

It's insane. All right, Gina, why don't we bring it home?

[Gina Grad]

You got it. I'm Gina Graduated. And that's the news.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina. Gina.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

That was the news with Gina Grad.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll give you guys all the vacation stories and recaps tomorrow. Good sports coming up next. You can go to AdamCarolla.com for all the live shows everywhere. And you can go to chassis C H A S S Y if you want to check out some of the docs and. And pods. Sorry, docs and stand up special laughs with Paul Bryan coming up, man. November 2nd, Avalon. Talk a little bit more about that tomorrow, I think. And until next time, Adam Crowe for Christie Bishop, Gina Grad. Oh, Jim Gaffigan and Paul Bryant. Save Mahalo. Women weren't funny.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, that's Adam Cole Show 2635. Come up next, we have Adam Cole Show 2363 with the great Larry Miller, Austin Fletcher, Gina Grant, and Brian Bishop from 2018.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so I got my little buck slip. I've made myself some notes. So I had a little situation, which is after we left for the 4th of July break, which was really just the 4th of July. I'd had a colonoscopy. And. Larry, I'm assuming you've had a colonoscopy. Oh, yeah.

[Larry Miller]

Well, just for fun, but yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Like in your teens.

[Larry Miller]

Well, sure, I've had a couple, actually. It's a very good thing to get.

[Adam Carolla]

It is developed in the last 30.

[Larry Miller]

Years, I guess, or so.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's really no muss and no fuss. But I did have some residual blood. And when I say residual bleeding, I mean a lot in your gums. And I was. It'd be nice. And I was using the bathroom all throughout that day. And it was exclusively blood that was coming out. And it wasn't like, oh, you know, old roadkill blood. It was Carrie, elevator doors opening on the shining kind of blood. And it wasn't mixed with anything but more blood.

[Brian Bishop]

And you looked down and your beets bracelet was not there.

[Adam Carolla]

I was not wearing my Beets by Ace bracelet. That let me know I had beat a beet salad earlier that day. So I was like, I have some fear of dying, but I have a greater fear of going to the hospital and wasting a day. Day. And ultimately it'll be the end of me, I'm sure. But my greatest concern is not for my personal well being. My greatest concern is do I have to go check myself in or go to urgent care or whatever. I'm also doing the math on the repair work they have to do, which is not stick out your tongue or let's check your reflexes with this rubber mallet on your knee. It's going to be. We're sending a team in and we gotta patch things up. I'm also doing a math on, well, how's this gonna work? Because before it was 24 hours of preparation of, you know, drinking this solution and not eating any solids or seeds or anything like that. I ate lunch. So how is this gonna work? I'm doing the math on both those question marks. None of them are really working out in my order. So I then say. I then call Dr. Drew, who really snaps into action. And basically like, look, they. They zapped off some pallets or whatever. And when they. When they did, one of them's bleeding, you know, and it's either going to stop or it's not. Now there's no third option. Well, I could die.

[Gina Grad]

It would stop them.

[Brian Bishop]

It would stop.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all the above. And the. I got this little. This little problem, which is I had the procedure done at, you know, three, four in the afternoon on a Tuesday. Sorry. On a Monday. I Woke up Tuesday morning and was sort of okay, you know, there was a little residual whatever in the toilet, but just what you'd expect to see after undergoing that procedure.

[Gina Grad]

Little wear and tear.

[Adam Carolla]

This was not that this meant something wasn't bleeding and then was bleeding for some reason. And it was just. What was in the toilet was just pure blood. What else you got? And it just kept. Now, the problem was, as well as it kept going, it was like that feeling that you have when you have diarrhea where you go to the bathroom, you get up, you walk around, and 15 minutes later, you're heading back in. But it was just more blood.

[Brian Bishop]

I never thought I'd say this, but can we talk about Gavin Newsom or red torn arrow potholes.

[Gina Grad]

Now, you're the only. You're the only person on earth who thinks I've been shitting blood for 24 hours. I'm considering going to urgent care. Most people would have been. No, Brian, please. Most people would have gone.

[Adam Carolla]

I did not want to go. I did not want to go because I know a. What would have. It would involved a lot. Now, the following day is the Fourth of July fireworks. I got the fireworks in the red part. I got to get the white, the toilet bowl. The blue is me feeling blue over defecating pure blood. And it was weird. It wasn't even. Although it was grotesque, it was pure blood. It didn't even. It didn't even feel weird. I mean, it didn't. It didn't. It wasn't mixed with anything. So I then got hold of the doctor.

[Brian Bishop]

Chris, can you bring me some of the candy that's out there? Very low blood sugar.

[Adam Carolla]

All of a sudden, the doctor did a thing which was funny, which is he. He went, sorry. Which is kind of not what you want to hear from the doctor. Okay, my bad. Well, it just meant something. Something wasn't working right. And I said, I get it. And then somewhere around, I was talking to Drew, I was talking to the doctor, and somewhere around six in the evening, I said, look, I'm gonna take a nap. Now, I know how every. I'm not a doctor or I'm not anything, but I know how everything works, which is if I can not have the urge to go to the bathroom for a couple of hours, it will have meant it stopped. If I'm running forth to the toilet, that means it's on and it's a bad sign. So I took a nap from, like, five to six, got up more blood in the toilet, and then more blood after that. And Then I just talked to him and talked it through with Drew and talked it through the doctor. And he just basically said a lot of. Are you lightheaded? All you know is, do you feel cramped? You know, change the subject. And I was like, I. I have such a weird and high threshold for pain. No, but I don't know. I wouldn't know. Have some. Have some Chips Ahoy. And then also, I don't know, the lightheaded part. Like, I never know how I feel on any given day. Like, anyway, you could convince me if I stood up from the sofa. Do you feel right? How do you feel? Do you feel different? Yeah. So anyway, I sat and I realized, all right, I hit the bathroom at 7pm not good.

[Brian Bishop]

Mr. Goodbar to the rescue.

[Adam Carolla]

But love that movie. But if I can put together a couple hours without getting back to the bathroom, I think we're fine. If not, I'm just going into the hospital before the eve of 4th of July and going to Kimmel's house and going to the beach and eating all this great barbecue items and everything. And thankfully, I just made it through. Through. I made it through. And so it must have just stopped. It must have a trickle kind of.

[Brian Bishop]

No pun intended. But I mean, like, did it slowly go? Whereas all of a sudden it's like, oh, we're better.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just. I think it's either going or it's not. I couldn't rightly tell. All I knew is that urge, because there's liquid in your gullet or belly to go down there and take care of it went away. And that's all I knew. I would. I would liken it to. To the end of diarrhea. Like, it just all of a sudden, that feeling of having to get up.

[Brian Bishop]

The urge is not as urgeful.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I do hope it was the only topic of conversation at Kimmel's party. I do hope nobody else talked about anything now.

[Brian Bishop]

I was taking blood.

[Larry Miller]

I like to hear about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Easy, Larry.

[Larry Miller]

By the way, you know what? The only my favorite part by far of the colonoscopy and I have had three, by the way. And my favorite part is that when they give you the injection and this, you know, sends you out cold, you're gone. And they say, count backwards from 100. And each time I don't get to the second half of 99, it's 190. Like an N bang. Good night, Irene. And I'm gone. And then they have people, they talk about, you know, you get a Russian weightlifter in there, he get 11, 10, 9. But I've never made it past the middle of 99. And I'm not trying to not make it. Yeah, I just said, all right, 98.

[Gina Grad]

Let the medicine do its job.

[Adam Carolla]

So it seemed to be all right. It does now. It's polyps. Yes. All right. So lots of stuff I was hoping I'd never have to learn, like isis, isil, Tikrit, polyps, palaps, all things I didn't want to know. Polyps.

[Gina Grad]

Are you okay? I mean, that's all I would think about now.

[Adam Carolla]

I have no thoughts about it.

[Brian Bishop]

My feeling is, well, Drew posited a reasonable explanation. Not like you're dying from the inside. Like, here's what happened. It sucks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I knew what happened. I knew something had not been cauterized, she or correctly, something was bleeding. I knew what was going on. I also knew that before I flatlined, I'd probably get a little lightheaded and feel nauseous and stuff like that. I knew it's sponsor life alert, you know, Drew said, drink some. Get some volume going, man. Get some fluid in you and do not strain, you know? And I was like, done and done. It's like, don't get your heart pumped, pumping and keep a lot of fluids in you. And I was like, all right. Done and done.

[Gina Grad]

So one of the guys died on Sopranos.

[Adam Carolla]

So I did that. And then I was like, it's gonna either stop bleeding or it's not. And if it doesn't stop, my sort of hard out was about 8 or 9 o' clock that night. Like, if it's not out by then, I'm not going to bed while it's bleeding. I'll have to go into the hospital, but thank my lucky stars it stopped. And then I got on eating barbecue the next day. Who else has got some stories?

[Gina Grad]

Wait, Chris and Kaylin aren't shitting blood, Right? So it wasn't my lasagna.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Max Pata]

But that story did not pass my lasagna test.

[Adam Carolla]

Your lasagna, which was excellent. I got one bite of and one bite of only it was completely decimated by the crew here. Wow. I'd salvaged a piece shaped like Italy's boot or the Florida panhandle or something. There was something like of it. Can we all agree that's New Hampshire? Yes. In terms of civility, we're looking at what was left of the lasagna. It comes on a grid. Not on a grid, but essentially in a pan that's shaped like a football field. Could we all Agree to just cut goddamn squares of your free lasagna and then go ahead and burn a few of my kilowatts, warming it up in my microwave, and then use my flatware to inject. Enjoy it on my dime. Do we have to tear at it like a. Crows had attacked a group of coyotes who were eating it and scared them away.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a delicious Rorschach test.

[Adam Carolla]

It is. It's also a little window into whoever decides, hey, this is communally fine. I'm gonna just tear apart.

[Brian Bishop]

Nibbled at it.

[Gina Grad]

Looks like turkey vultures have been.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what? I'm.

[Larry Miller]

I'm sorry, by the way. We're friends, but how do you bake something like that with a knife and a fork in it?

[Gina Grad]

You know what I don't understand.

[Adam Carolla]

I tend to left it in the fridge.

[Gina Grad]

The best surgeons have done that by accident. Left watches in people. I'm no better.

[Adam Carolla]

True. So it was teared at. I guess what I'm saying is here's a utopia I would like to live in. Hey, everyone. Co workers, fellow Americans, here's some free lasagna for you to enjoy. I don't want to have to then explain the part like, listen, assholes, if I come back and everything's been torn apart or I see somebody's pinky ring wedged into some ricotta cheese, I'm going to be pissed. So please use a knife and fork and cut them in squares. Let's be civil and enjoy it like lasagna is enjoyed. But evidently there now needs to be a speech. Next time. Dear folks with a college education, average age 37 and 4 months. Months.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's how to act in a civilized society.

[Adam Carolla]

What is. What goes on? Like, why is it every man for themselves all the time? It's like, you go to the airport and it's like, oh, somebody left me a nice frothy pot of gold in the urinal. I guess I'll reach up and flush it. Thank you, hero. Like, can you just be responsible for your own fucking urine after you go piss at the airport, can you flush the handle? Like, where are we at?

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, I think I know where the shape was. We flip that around, you got yourself a state of Idaho.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I, I, you know, flip it around.

[Brian Bishop]

Sorry.

[Gina Grad]

I'll take, I'll take responsibility for this. I won't bring anything else in again. I know it's very upsetting.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, does anyone want to leave the boss a square, considering that Gina brought it in for the boss, but the boss had to skedaddle Cuz he had that bleed out anally. But at some point he was going to return. And believe you me, Gina, it was on my mind. Like, oh, I'm going to be cutting into a nice square of that stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

Adam, where are you going? I'm just going to bleed out anally.

[Gina Grad]

I'll make another.

[Adam Carolla]

It's, it's, it's a, it's a tell. We call it a window. Window into what's going on. And look, when people go like, hey, I know a lot of people under 30 that are fine, young. Yeah, really, give me his number because I don't think those fucking people exist anymore, okay? Anyway, I'm not, by the way, I don't even care who did it. Everyone is guilty at this particular. At this particular.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Wow, there's Idaho.

[Brian Bishop]

Come on, guys, there's Idaho.

[Adam Carolla]

We got the shape of Idaho in there.

[Larry Miller]

I wasn't even here and I'm blaming myself now.

[Adam Carolla]

If somebody had said, I know Corolla was going fly fishing in Boise. And so I took some extra time after I'd punched out to create an Idaho shaped piece of lasagna I'm all ears tribute, or I'm a selfish dick who likes free shit and doesn't give a fuck about anyone else. It could possibly be that or two. Or it's the fly fishing in Boise idea. If that in fact is somebody's idea, then I owe almost everyone an apology. But, but on the off chance that everyone's just a hungry, ravenous piece of shit is not. Doesn't consider other people they were with, I'm gonna go with that. Okay. It's a new world order, everybody. And weird is I've tried to explain that to everyone around here a few times. Like, when you're done stirring your free coffee, don't take the spoon that's covered in coffee and just drop it on the counter and walk away. Throw it in the sink, put it in the sink, give it a rinse. Someone's gonna have to clean the counter and clean the spoon.

[Brian Bishop]

This or the disappearing pallets of beer, which is more egregious.

[Adam Carolla]

The disappearing pallets of beer was more egregious because I think. And Dawson and maybe Laxamana, maybe Matt. You guys have to kind of help my math. I think a hand truck of about six, maybe seven cases of handcrafted beer showed up at the shop at some point. Oh God. They were all left.

[Brian Bishop]

How many was it, Chris? How many fit in your fridge?

[Adam Carolla]

They were all left, just sort of front and center in the back of the shop just sort of monolith for you to enjoy. Of sudsy goodness. I walked out on a whatever day, looked at, it went, all right, I'm on the fly, but I shall examine what I got. And then I'll do what I always do. I'll pick out a few of the things I like, and then the rest we can have a little raffle over who wants the rest. We'll split it up evenly however it was. I then return the following day, and I walked in and I looked to the back of the shop where the stack of beer was, and I was like, it's gone. There's not one case left. There's no cases left. Then my mind went where my mind goes, which is to the happy place.

[Brian Bishop]

Perhaps it's being refrigerated.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this certainly is not the MO of anyone around here, but perhaps someone has heard my pleas to my pleasure to actually put things away as they come in. So somebody must have taken the initiative. A highly motivated marine must have grabbed those cases and put them in the back case. Because they're probably tired of hearing me going, how long is this going to be here? Where does it go? Put it away. Blah, blah, blah. So someone.

[Brian Bishop]

No logger left behind, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody jumped on it. And I thought, well, that showed an issue. And then so I said, huh, I wonder where they. Anyway, I'm glad I like to find this hero who put this beer away.

[Brian Bishop]

Thus begins the treasure hunt.

[Adam Carolla]

We're gonna be such a timely fashion. I then opened, like, a utility closet, like, not in there. Then I went back and I opened, like, the beer closet in the back, and it's like, no, no, no.

[Gina Grad]

Getting colder.

[Adam Carolla]

I wonder where this hero put all the beer. It turned out that everyone had helped themselves to either between a 12 pack, a case, and in some cases, a case and a half, I do believe. Dawson, do you remember the breakdown?

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

I remember I took six.

[Adam Carolla]

Just six.

[Brian Bishop]

I was going to say I hadn't.

[Adam Carolla]

Heard anybody taking six. I heard 12. Now, Mary, there are only five guys, so we got to figure out a way to get. I'll say 12. You'll say 12 because you took 12. Yeah, that's the reason you're saying 12 because that's the number.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

No, I'm saying 12 because I'm not.

[Adam Carolla]

Going to argue with you. There were no numbers under. Nobody took a six pack. Everyone took 12.

[Brian Bishop]

And above, someone took zero.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, this guy, hero Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, only because I wasn't here. I would have definitely taken 24.

[Adam Carolla]

Then there was a case. Max Patter there were cases, right?

[Max Pata]

There were cases, sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And there was case pluses. I guess that's on Dawson for leaving one broken up, a family been torn apart.

[Max Pata]

Look, I'm glad you brought this up because this has been bothering me for a long time. Look, I knew the saint. It was Saint Archer. I knew those guys. So I booked them for the show and they came with a bunch of beers. And what happened was he told us the rep who brought all the beers said, hey, help yourselves, guys, to all these beers. Take some home. So we listened to him because he brought them for all of them, us. And then it just turned out that we took more. We didn't leave you very much at.

[Brian Bishop]

The end of the.

[Adam Carolla]

Very much, very much.

[Max Pata]

I'd say there's probably a 12 pack left for you, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Where was it?

[Brian Bishop]

There was no beer left.

[Adam Carolla]

There was no beer left.

[Max Pata]

And also we brought the beer back. Once we heard that you didn't have any.

[Adam Carolla]

Some brought the beer back.

[Max Pata]

We brought the beer back. Did we not bring the beer back?

[Adam Carolla]

No, some people brought the beer back. Others did not bring the beer. Beer back.

[Max Pata]

Well, I don't know who those people.

[Adam Carolla]

Are, but I brought my beer back.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

I did not bring my beer back.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there you go. Well, there you go. Not all.

[Max Pata]

I'm really upset that you brought this.

[Adam Carolla]

Upset, why?

[Max Pata]

No, look, I think you brought it up.

[Brian Bishop]

It was definitely me.

[Adam Carolla]

You brought it up. I think the narrative's wrong.

[Max Pata]

The guy came in and offered the beer to all of us and said, take this home, everybody.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, because he'd brought it over to Max Zapata's warehouse, home of the award winning Max Zapata podcast and that's how he got on to this thing. Yeah, I get that he. Well, first off, I'm sure he'd prefer that I drink some of it and talk about it on the air. Yeah, I'm sure what he said, they've earned it. The reason he brought seven cases is because when he said enjoy, he thought that everyone might take a six pack.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't think he meant the people in the vicinity of his voice. Probably everyone who's here from.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, he probably meant whoever was on air at that point. The bald Bryants and whatnot. Get some of that.

[Gina Grad]

Could give a little shout.

[Brian Bishop]

Still never got any.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, so I, I do agree, but it's also, there is an option. The option is wait 19 hours until I walk through the door and then we can have a discussion about divvying up the beer.

[Max Pata]

That's fair.

[Adam Carolla]

That'd be a fair discussion.

[Max Pata]

I don't like this narrative how we just took all of your beer.

[Adam Carolla]

You took all of the beer? Yes. Yeah, okay, it's true. I had not had a chance to put my initials on it. You took all of the beer that was in my warehouse, but not all of my beer.

[Max Pata]

Some erroneous math. That happened when we were divvying it up, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. Now, if I had been doing some minesweeping in the Falkland Islands and wasn't going to be back for several months, even then it would have warranted an email. But the fact that I was gonna walk through the door the following morning, and this was in the afternoon of a Tuesday, and I was gonna come in Wednesday morning, one could have probably said, let's just cool everyone's jets. Unless somebody has some rare disease where they need. They need small batch artisan beer.

[Brian Bishop]

In which case you're not a monster, you're a for it.

[Adam Carolla]

In which case I am for it. But one could have probably waited until the following morning. And I think my, I think my reputation is that of a pretty generous guy with the beer. I would have let people take what they needed to take.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Which is precisely why when some people were leaving and were told, hey, take some beer, it's from Saint Archer, I just said, okay, I'm not going to argue with you. I will take some beer.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you wouldn't have to argue with him. You could have let him leave. You wouldn't have to chase him down the street and yell, liar.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

No, as I'm walking, I out.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, as you're walking says, hey, take some beer.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Saint Archer brought it for us.

[Adam Carolla]

Sweet.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

I will take a 12 pack home.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

And that happened to a lot of people, I believe.

[Adam Carolla]

Who was the person standing by the doors? The carnival barker handing out the beer? Was that a Saint Archer guy?

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Guys, I didn't see a pallet of.

[Adam Carolla]

Beer and say, oh, I'm gonna take some beer. All right, well, told that the Saint Archer guys product, no one got fired. I'm saying the question could have been, we don't need to take cases home. Yeah, you took a 12 pack. They took cases home. Everyone took a case. Somebody took a case plus home. That's gilding the lily a little bit. My problem wasn't that somebody took some free beer home. It's that they took cases home. And it was not none, zero. Someone had left everyone taken a six pack or 12 pack and left two cases. That would have been a different discussion.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Well, I did not eat Any of the lasagna because I didn't want to ruin Idaho for you.

[Gina Grad]

That's very nice.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so you're saying you're really a victim in this whole beer situation?

[Gina Grad]

Doubly victimized.

[Adam Carolla]

Who owes you an apology? Max apana or the Saint Archer's guy?

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

I'm 12 beers up.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right, good.

[Brian Bishop]

Way to look at it.

[Larry Miller]

My dad worked in a beer company company in New York when he and my mom were newly married and they lived in Brooklyn. And the company. There was a lot of beer places and companies in New York at that time, but they had a rule that all employees at the end of the workday could take home as much beer as they could carry.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, that's mighty nice.

[Larry Miller]

They were all guys in their 20s and newly married and lived in Brooklyn. But see, the thing is, that sounds like the greatest deal in history, but they didn't have cars because they're young guys. It's New York. The subway. What?

[Brian Bishop]

It's a neighborhood brewery, I'm guessing.

[Larry Miller]

No, it's a. No, it's a big Ballantine. I mean, these are big companies.

[Adam Carolla]

They had to get back in a train.

[Larry Miller]

So once you have to carry one or two cases of beer to the subway stop from the beer factory, and then down on that train, you catch the A train to go into Brooklyn. Well, you know what? By the time you've fended off all the other guys on the subway who want some, and you know, you're still holding this thing, so the veins on your neck are popping out. Cause it's.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Larry Miller]

So after you do that twice, maybe three times, no one took any more beer again because you just couldn't get it home.

[Adam Carolla]

Chris just IM'd me. Want to know why your dad didn't back the Prius up to the rolling door and simply have one of Adam's employees load it out.

[Larry Miller]

You know what?

[Adam Carolla]

It's a different time. It's a different time.

[Larry Miller]

Like me, he would have been the first one to punch himself if he had a pre.

[Adam Carolla]

I also hope this. Your dad at least once sat on the. On. On the train next to a guy worked at the Massengale factory.

[Brian Bishop]

All you want.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. We're gonna play the game. We're gonna play hypothetical road trip.

[Gina Grad]

Excited for you.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to.

[Gina Grad]

Good, Larry.

[Larry Miller]

It is going to be good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. No, I smell victory. First, I'll tell you about Udemy. Let me tell you about that. One thing I love about podcasting is learning and listening to new ideas in a space that didn't exist a decade ago. That's right. Like Udemy, the largest and most accessible online learning marketplace. The most courses, teachers and opportunities for students around the globe. 65,000 plus courses from coding to comic book art available anywhere on their website and app. Gina, what are you taking?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I actually I'm about to start a couple different writing courses that I'm super excited about. Something I've been wanting to do for a long time. This is the perfect opportunity. I can't wait to get started.

[Adam Carolla]

If you got kids, you should probably have them take a coding class. I hear that's a very smart way to go. Anyway, at home, on your computer or with their app on your phone, Udemy gives access to new knowledge. Wherever you are, you can check it out and they have an exclusive offer for my listeners.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Dawson, go to Ude my Adam right now and get 90% off when you sign up for classes. You will not find a better price. So sign up for classes now using our link Ude Mm my Adam and get access to life changing classes for 90% off. And make sure you download their app for your phone so you can stream your studies wherever you are. That's Ude My Adam. Ude my Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so a little more hot ass talk and then we'll go into the hypothetical road trip game. I told everybody you can get the answers to almost all problems in life by just sort of having your compass kind of face true north, having your antenna always adjusting that satellite dish and kind of just having a kind of horse sense and like what makes sense and what is. And I talked to Dr. Drew some months back about getting this colonoscopy and I said, what is the prep now? Now he's a doctor and he's done it multiple times. So you're talking in this particular case, you're talking to guy who's an MD and you're talking to a guy who does it every year because I think he had a prostate removed and so he's on a regiment where he has to do this and he's done it many times. So not only is he a doctor.

[Gina Grad]

He knows what it's an advocate.

[Adam Carolla]

He's done it multiple times and I have never done it before. So in this particular case, the super sober Dr. Drew who's done this many times and been around it many times, how could you argue with what he is telling you? Like, here's the protocol, here's what you have to do because I've now done it one time and I can tell you exactly what the protocol is the protocol. They give you a sheet, and there's a day of procedure, and then there's the day before procedure, and there's two days out. And two days out, no raw fruits or vegetables. Done and done. And avoid seeds. Done and done. One day out. No eating of solid food. And it's all the clear stuff. They have. Clear. I don't know. It's all, like, weird because, like, clear jello and all that stuff and clear every popsicles and what, whatever. But one day out. Here's a conversation I had with Dr. Drew on the Adam and Dr. Drew Show. When was this? From Max Zapata, December 2016. All right. Discussing this procedure. All right, Drew, so how's it work? What should I be prepared for? So you drink clear liquids for a couple of days. Couple of days? Yeah. I think it's two days. Then the second day, you start a prank. Purchase the vodka, not the scotch. Clear. Yeah, clear vodka. Clear vodka. Now, wait a minute. First off, clear liquids for two days is a little bit of a challenge. It's tough. Yeah. But you can drink a lot of it. All right, so I have the doctor telling me what's going on, who's doing it as we're talking about it, but I'm having trouble. But the way. Why would you ever question Drew in this situation? He's been through it.

[Gina Grad]

He's a doctor doing it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. I mean, you can. Yeah, yeah. But no stakes. No stakes. No, it's liquid, liquid, liquid. 48 hours of liquid. I think it's 40 hours. If not, it's close to that. It's a tall order. All right, well, Gary, find out if it's 48 hours. I don't believe it. That's the thing. So I'm saying if you're, like, tuned in, you'll understand that 48 hours of no eating is a deal breaker for human beings. They're not going to do it. Also, if you know something about your bowels, it's like, well, what do you need the extra 24 for? You'll be cleaned out.

[Gina Grad]

Clean as a whistle.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. I mean, there's varying sites. Yeah, there's different. There's a lot of different ones. There's ones that say the day before.

[Brian Bishop]

You can eat a large breakfast, a medium lunch, and a small dinner.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, really? Yeah, that's silly. You got to get cleared out.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So I want to be clean when.

[Adam Carolla]

I go in there. I would automatically trust Dr. Drew over anything I'm finding on the Internet. No, I. I agree. I'm Gonna do that. Two days. But you want a better answer, well, here's where. Here's where the people come out of the cheap seats. People sitting behind computers. Now, I got Dr. Drew, then I got a guy with a computer, and I got a. I got a 1.7 GPA from North Hollywood High who went on a construction site to clean up garbage. That's my education.

[Brian Bishop]

Most people in that situation would wave the white towel and go, I guess I was wrong. But you're not most people.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm not most people. I'm not down. I've got these two days of clear. Like, you're not eating for two days. That feels like a little bit of a reach for most people. Two days before the feed. Oh, here we go. Two days before. Do not eat raw fruits or vegetables. Avoid seeds. Do not take iron tablets, fish. Avoid what? Seeds. Do not take raw fruits or vegetables. Avoid seeds. Do not take iron tablets, fish oil, or glucosamine, chondroitin. That's two days out. That's two days out. One day. So it's one day. No solid food. Drink only clear liquid. Gary, who could have ever anticipated this? Nobody on the planet would have ever seen this. I'm not disputing that. I'm just telling you. All right. You do know I'm right all the time because of my feelings. Yeah. Cause two days seems like too much. You can't ask the average American to not eat food for two days and just have a bowl of miso soup, but minus the seaweed. All right, all right. Get tuned in, everybody. Just like, you know, that's how you know you could have used your cell phone on an airplane 10 years ago. Because if they could bring a plane down, they would have confiscated the phones before you got on the plane.

[Brian Bishop]

Extensive screening process.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It'd be like what they did with the keys. And say anything.

[Brian Bishop]

Say anything.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, the pillowcase.

[Adam Carolla]

They'd have a pillowcase or a fishbowl. It was a pillowcase.

[Gina Grad]

It was a swinging a bat.

[Adam Carolla]

I was right.

[Brian Bishop]

Because he was the key.

[Gina Grad]

The key master.

[Adam Carolla]

They do that with phones. But they didn't. So this savvy traveler knew it was okay, even though I can't operate. Operate a phone. So there you go. There's your truth. It's always there. Now, those around you who are armed with computers and knowledge will tend to want to fight with you.

[Gina Grad]

You know what? You are your true north.

[Adam Carolla]

Tune it in, baby. To get it tuned in. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Just turn our satellites to you and.

[Brian Bishop]

Be okay on one side of You. We know exactly where north is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, we're going to play the game. Yes, let's play the game.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

It's the hypothetical road trip game. The game where there are no wrong answers.

[Adam Carolla]

We're driving to Florida. All right. Well, keeping in the spirit of Fourth of July, first things first. And again. Well, we got this, right. We're going from Santa Monica Pier to Epcot center in Florida. Florida. And who do you want to drive with? Larry Miller. Guy who loves fireworks. And I mean loves them. Guy who hates fireworks.

[Larry Miller]

That's easy. Adam. Always the guy who hates fireworks. Because I hate fireworks. And I've never. Even as a kid, I never quite. Was just telling Gina this before. I never quite got them. I didn't. I just never got. Even though my parents would take us every year on Memorial Day or July 4th to Fireman's Field where we grew up and we'd see the fireworks show. 20 seconds or so of the fireworks is fine with me. After that, I'm. Well, I'm ready to blow my brains out. And I don't really. Excuse me. And I. And I don't get them. So I would always want to go with this guy because. Because the guy who loves them is someone I'd have to strangle by Arizona.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me convene with the judges here. I'm sorry, what do you mean? I'll tell you why. Because. I'll tell you why. It's not about fireworks. Just like when a young boy tortures kittens and puppies. It's not about a hatred of kittens and puppies. He's gonna go on to be a serial killer.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a strong indicator.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. If you hate fireworks. I don't trust. Treat it like a lot of people may hate a topping on their pizza. That is no indicator of really one thing or the next. But hating fireworks is a more global personality trait. You would not want to be in a car with that person for any length of time. Sorry, Larry.

[Gina Grad]

And dare I say, unpatriotic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, I'm sorry. You should have read the fine print on that one.

[Larry Miller]

You know what?

[Adam Carolla]

We're moving on. You're wrong.

[Larry Miller]

You've always been wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

Wrong. All right. Guy who weaves in being from New York into every conversation. Especially with the guys who are like, you don't want to mess with me.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm from New York.

[Adam Carolla]

Forget about. Or self proclaimed movie buff who has never seen an Albert Brooks movie.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, boy.

[Larry Miller]

You know what?

[Adam Carolla]

But this guy knows everything about movies.

[Larry Miller]

I know, but on the surface, this Seems easy on the surface, but it doesn't. It's not easy because I would always. I would always take a movie buff even though he's too stupid to never have gone to an Albert Brooks movie. I would always do that. And I don't care. I would never go with someone no matter where he's from. Okay, you say he's from New York this time. Who just interrupts every conversation because he knows so much and he thinks he does and he thinks he's far smarter than he really is. I hate him. He should go watch. Watch fireworks. But I would always go with the guy who really knows a lot about movies because then that means also he's seen me a lot of times and so we could talk about me a lot until he says something bad, which again means I shoot him in Arizona, not what.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well reasoned. The thing. The guy from New York, you being from New York could easily vet him and shut him down by the time you'd still be in LA county by the time that guy realized he'd picked the wrong guy to discuss Flatbush with. You understand what I'm saying? So you could easily shut that guy down and then move on to general conversations. I'm sorry, Larry. Let's move on.

[Larry Miller]

You're not sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, the rules are rules. There's two more. We can still finish at 500. Headlight eyelash chick. These are the chicks that put the plastic headlights. There's one of these people bugs and the Mini Coopers or anything. There's one of these people in my neighborhood who's. I don't believe owns a home in there but is doing something in that neighborhood has the eyelashes, the purple eyelashes on like a town car or something.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it's not great.

[Adam Carolla]

Or the dude who puts the truck nuts on the. On the rear diff. Hangs the big plastic nut sack on the rear diff. Well, this is.

[Larry Miller]

This is a hard one for me because I normally despise anyone who dresses up the headlights like that. But I can't handle the balls on the back of the truck. I can't take it. And so I would always go with the woman who wants to put the eyelashes on the headlights over the guy who just has to have those. Really? And you can't. You can't. What about someone who pulls up behind you? What about a cop pulling you over? What about me driving behind you? I would never drive with him. Always drive with her.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sorry, Larry. Come on now, look, this is just a drag coefficient sort of situation. The truck. Truck Nuts are behind the differential. They don't offer a lot of aerodynamic drag. They're literally tucked in behind the. The diff. These eyelashes are really interrupting the flow of air over the most critical part of the car, the front of the car. You're driving to Florida. You're going 75, 80 miles an hour all the way there. That kind of disruption of airflow, you're going to feel not only at the gas station, but in your pocketbook.

[Larry Miller]

You know what?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll buy that, but I'm sorry, Larry.

[Larry Miller]

All right, I'm still going to get this last one just because.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Finish strong.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Let's go out. Let's go out on a high note.

[Larry Miller]

Come on.

[Adam Carolla]

A guy who's constantly applying sunblock or guy who's constantly applying lip balm.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, this is easy.

[Gina Grad]

Interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this is an easy one. We did this one as a layup so that you could finish on top.

[Larry Miller]

I'm not even listening. I'm in these. I am in the cone of silence. Okay, But I'm telling you, it seems. It seems first. First of all, too much. Too much sunblock is horrifying, and it's stupid, but I can't ever take. I can't ever allow too much Chapska. Chapstick. It's. That's seriously someone who's got to pay with his life.

[Brian Bishop]

Who are you going with? Who are you driving with?

[Larry Miller]

I'm always gonna drive with the guy putting too much sunblock on.

[Adam Carolla]

Come on.

[Gina Grad]

Wow. I thought it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Larry, you don't have a convertible, buddy. You're just in a car half the time. It's gonna be D. There's no application for the application. He may be talking a little about, you know, what the SP stands for or something like that, but he's not going to actually be applying it. You're in a car with a roof and a headliner and a limo tint.

[Brian Bishop]

And the chapstick is so tiny, Ben. Ten of those is going to take up no room at all. You got a guy who's bringing a pallet of, you know.

[Larry Miller]

Yeah, but look at it this way. If the guy with the sunblock ever gets it in his head to just lean over and kiss me. At least he doesn't have chapstick on his. His lips.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm disappointed, Larry. Sorry, Larry.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Better luck next time you play the hypothetical road trip game.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's see. Fourth of July. I want to know what everyone did first. I'll tell you about the simply Safe. Today's show brought to you. By Simply Safe Home Security. Ever looked for security systems? Very complicated, expensive, Terrible. Contrast. Simply safe. That is Simply safe. What home security should be. Everybody. Great protection. Ridiculously easy to use at a great price. We all use it here. We all have it here. Engineered to keep working during power outages. Down WI fi. Even if a burglar smashes your keypad and designed to stay out of the way, you'll never even notice it. Peel and stick. They got the little 3M tape there up and running. Running in under an hour. Batteries last up to 10 years. And if you gotta leave, like Dawson got himself a home. He just pulled this off his apartment and moved it to his new home.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Peel it right off, set it right back up. No more than 30 minutes, I would say.

[Adam Carolla]

If I was popping that off, I'd grab a piece of waxed dental floss and move it back and forth in order to pop off that tape. Yeah, that's just me. Order a Simplisafe security system. Do it today at simply two I's in there. SimpliSafe. And they'll donate to our family in need. But let's get going. Go to simplisafe.com Adam. That is simplisafe.com, adam. Larry, what'd you do for the 4th?

[Larry Miller]

You know what? I had a great 4th. First of all, I did my podcast yesterday morning. But then I had arranged with one of my kids who's staying with us after his freshman year. And I said to him the night before, you know what? We used to do this. My wife and I took the kids when they were little, we went to. I took him to the local national military cemetery.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, wow.

[Larry Miller]

And we. You park there and you walk on. And it's empty, by the way. There's not a person there, not a flag there. There's nothing there. But you go around. It's not my family or friends there, but you go around to every grave. You can go around to 10, 20, 30 graves, and you look at them and you. You learn something about this grave guy and where he was killed. And you can say, thank you. Hi. You know, I hope you're okay. And say a little prayer. And you know what? My kid got it.

[Adam Carolla]

We.

[Larry Miller]

You don't spend the whole day there. You could spend 45 minutes or an hour. You go to a lot of different graves, but when you leave, you really feel you've done something for these guys. And they have a saying over there on a big plaque that says, they sleep with valor. And you know what? I think they do so that's what I did. And then after that we went to mud wrestling. So even now. But it's after, it's not before.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that story. I love that. I wish more. And I do believe we would all be much happier. I know we would be much happier if you learned to appreciate. I know the thought is like, hey, let's go to a food truck and let's get some silly string and crack some cold ones or whatever. But that doesn't teach you appreciation, to really appreciate what you have. And yeah, take 45 minutes, go do that. And then go off and have a hot dog and watch the fireworks display.

[Larry Miller]

Exactly. And you know what you won't forget?

[Adam Carolla]

Did you go the one in Westwood?

[Larry Miller]

Yeah, the one right off of Sepulveda.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Larry Miller]

And that's a lot of fellows there. A lot of graves.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[Larry Miller]

And there are things written on those old tombstones. You see things like 54th Wisconsin Infantry. When was the last time you heard a phrase like that? And this is old printing and so it was very meaningful. They have crosses and Jewish stars on there. But we did that and we're gonna do it again next year on Memorial Day and July.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that. And I wish we didn't look at that as corny. No, well, not we, but I just mean as a nation that was consistent, considered corny or passe or bygone or whatever. That kind of stuff really helps you appreciate where we were, where we are. And it's just kind of like you go home and you go in your house and it's not on fire and there's nobody poking at you with a bayonet and you go, good Gina grad.

[Gina Grad]

I had a lovely day. Went and met some friends. A girlfriend of mine, for reasons I do not understand, got a room at the Ritz Carlton just for fun. And so we went over there. Then we went down to the beach. This gritty, sort of thuggish beach party that was me and a couple of my girlfriends having a great time. And then went back to her room at the Ritz and went out on the balcony and watched. Gotta be two dozen fireworks displays, a panoramic view. I love fireworks. Sorry, Larry, but I love them. And it was a beautiful night and a good day with friends.

[Adam Carolla]

Bald.

[Brian Bishop]

Went down to Christie's grandparents house on Balboa island down in Orange County.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm angry.

[Brian Bishop]

It was so sweet. If people. People outside the area probably don't know Belbo Island. It's a very small little area in Orange County. But imagine Sea Haven from the Truman Show. It is very, very idyllic.

[Gina Grad]

Or just imagine Arrested Development.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, is that.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Because the banana stands.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it's on Balboa Island.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Although, great place. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Fantastic American flags everywhere. Was. It was absolutely beautiful. Sat on the beach with, as you can see, endless rant, and drank a lager.

[Adam Carolla]

An endless rant lager.

[Brian Bishop]

And Christy had one, too. It's a perfect summer beer because, you know, it's a lighter than the ipa. It's easy drinking, as they say.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, thank you. Go to Corolla Drinks. Say hi to Lynette.

[Brian Bishop]

I took a. A pallet home for free.

[Gina Grad]

Didn't everybody?

[Max Pata]

Do you leave any for Adam?

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely not. I went down to. Oh, but let me. Oh, sorry.

[Brian Bishop]

Go ahead, finish real quick. Then later in the night, you know, sun goes down around 8, 45, 9 o', clock, and it's time for fireworks. And Tess's bedtime's about 8, 8:30. We're like, you know what? Let's keep her up and see how she does. So we sat on the sea wall, watched fireworks, thinking, like, oh, she's not gonna be, you know, jumpy or jittery, freaked out, whatever. The thing is, she was mesmerized. She sat there on Christy's lap and just stared. Stared and pointed at the fireworks and went in the distance. It was on the other side of, you know, the bay or whatever. But she was into it. Like, she was like, wow.

[Gina Grad]

And they didn't have those aerial bombs. I always hated those as a kid. They're just the noise.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, no. It was. It was all, you know, actual fireworks. It's very traditional. It's very cool.

[Adam Carolla]

We went over to Kimmel's. Lynette wasn't feeling well. I'd lost my designated driver for going to. Going to Hermosa. And I was like, that's a long drive. Yeah. And I was like, oh. And they. Oh, that's where they have those DUI checkpoints and stuff like that. And I was like, all right, well, I'll take it easy. So through the kids in the test Tesla and drove down to Hermosa. Very nice. It's all about parking over there. Situation like with J. Joe J. Miller, dedicated Jay Miller said, hit me 10 minutes before you roll up, and I shall take the car and go park it over my pad. And you guys can get, like, concierge service and walk right on up. So one on up. I realized I'm always hugging it out with Jimmy's parents, Jim and Joan and I realize I spend every major holiday and non major holiday, Mother's Day and Arbor Day and Father's Day and Arbor Drake. I spend every day with Jimmy's parents. It's sad, but I like them a lot. But it's weird. I never see my parents. For Father's Day I hang out with Jimmy's dad. For Mother's Day, I might hang out with Jimmy's mom and for 4th of July, hang out with both of them. That's what it is. And we just sit there and hang out together. Jimmy was there. We had a nice hang.

[Gina Grad]

Did he cook?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he was.

[Gina Grad]

But like he was in charge.

[Adam Carolla]

He was cooking, he was barbecuing. I mean, very fourth of July themed, you know, at a certain point, me and Sonny Natalian and a small, small troupe, including Jimmy's wife Molly, walked down to the beach, bivouacked on the San and played in the ocean a little bit. It's a picture of Jimmy at the grill. I had a bunch of burgers and hot dogs and everything. Enjoyed, had a laugh. It was fun. Playing in the ocean was fun. Sonny doesn't go in the ocean. What?

[Gina Grad]

It's not safe.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not safe.

[Brian Bishop]

There's water in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Sonny's made this proclamation. Natalia's out in the ocean. Ocean. Sonny has made the proclamation days before that 95% of the ocean is unexplored. Therefore it's a non starter for him because he's doing a math which is, look, 5% is understood. There's a whole nother 95% of giant squids taking down merchant marine ships and stuff that we don't know about.

[Brian Bishop]

You got to get that kid a globe.

[Adam Carolla]

Why would I go into this body of water but 95% of it is unexplored.

[Gina Grad]

The shore of the South Bay is Hermosa Beach.

[Brian Bishop]

Beach is pretty explored. Like I'll look at a thousand people this weekend walking.

[Gina Grad]

I've been in there.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll let you talk to Sonny about it. He, he, he presents some compelling data and points. Sure.

[Gina Grad]

Was anyone playing spike ball? That's a big one. On the beach. The trampoline with the, the ball.

[Adam Carolla]

They were. He was with cousin Sal's. He was, he was with cousin Sal's oldest son Archie, and they were just playing catch. Well, off the shore, Natalia was in there on the boogie board and I was standing around talking to cousin Sal, who was devastated because he enjoys gambling and he enjoys gambling so much so that he decided to bet on the over under of the Coney island hot dog eating competition for Joey Chestnut.

[Gina Grad]

Good.

[Adam Carolla]

And the over under, not a sign of problem gambling. The over under was like seventy and a half. Yeah, something weird like in a cocktail weenie or something. So they had, you can look it up, Max bets. So what it. They had announced that the over under was, I don't know, 69 dogs or 70 dogs or whatever it was.

[Brian Bishop]

It was 70 and a half is what he tweeted, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

And Chestnut, it said, you know, I got no competition. I'm not proving anything this year. I'm just going to win.

[Brian Bishop]

There's no Kobayashi to push it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So I don't, I don't have to, you know, risk an infection or anything. I'll just, I'll get to whatever it takes to win and then I'll take my foot off the accelerator. So with that knob, Sal bet the under. When his hand was raised, it said he'd consumed 64 hot dogs, in which case Sal had won the bet. And of course, Sal was watching quite handily, and I thought that was a pretty shrewd gambling move on his part. Later on in the interview, he had announced that there was a lost plate of 10 that was not count counted and he had, in fact eaten. So the under was 70 and a half. Right. It stopped at 64. You can, you can read it. But the, the point is, is he set a record at 74 in gambling. It doesn't. I mean, it's equivalent to you saying, you know, I'll take the over under on the Super Bowl 57, and you won because the final score was 52. And then at some point after the game, they went, oh, there, there's a touchdown and extra point, a two point conversion we'd forgotten about. So that's. Anyway, go ahead and put that up on the scoreboard. That's kind of weird when you think the game's over, right? Especially when there's been calls. There's people there that stand behind everybody and tally and all that. So it's not great. Sal was devastated.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

That'S pretty rough. That's a bad beat.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a bad beat. That's what I told him. It was a bad. So that was comical. We got that going for us. All right, Austin Fletcher is out there as a comedian and a YouTuber, and I'll tell you about him in a second. First, Castrol Castrol Challenge. Our Castrol Edge. We'll do the challenge in a second. You can give us a tweet. DMCarolla show with Castrol Challenge with your questions. Castrol Challenge brought to you by Castrol Edge Formula edition with fluid titanium technology. What do you got there, Max Pata.

[Max Pata]

Oodoldboy23 on Twitter wants to know cashrollchallenge why aren't you into American cars? I'm sure when you were growing up muscle cars were all the rage.

[Adam Carolla]

What's up? The average, let's say muscle cars considered the heyday of the muscle cars would be from the 60s. Muscle car of that era would have have an iron block, iron heads, not an overhead cam situation but a push rod situation, single four barrel carb, drum brakes, maybe discs in front, but drum brakes and a leaf spring suspension. And not a live rear axle, one piece rear axle, not an independent rear axle. Something you could hang your truck nuts off. I have a 66 Lamborghini in the other shop that is four wheel disc brake, four wheel independent five speed transmission. Not a three speed or four speed, a five speed aluminum block, aluminum heads, four cam, six carburetors with coilover suspension versus the leaf spring. So meaning the stuff that's on a. And it's got a. It's tube frame or sorry monocoque body versus versus frame. The stuff that's on American muscle cars are stuff that's on military vehicles from the 30s. Like big frame, straight rear axle, drum brakes, iron block, iron head, pushrods, the whole nine yards. Low tech, super low tech. And that's why I never dug it. Now they got a lot of horsepower out of those engines, but low tech. And I was always give me the innovation and that's receiving also most of those mopar guys are dicks. Now where were we? That's right, Castrol Edge. Well, they got some product. I like Castrol Edge. All right, Larry, it's good to see you.

[Larry Miller]

Let me just tell you about this movie I'm in that's coming out this month. Oh yeah, it's starring Sam Elliot and me and it's called the man who killed Hitler and then the Bigfoot.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh really?

[Larry Miller]

And that's the title. That's not a joke. I told the writer, director Bob that you should have that in every interview you do. When they say what's it about? You can say have you seen the title?

[Adam Carolla]

The man who Killed Hitler and then Bigfoot. Yes, that is the name of the movie. It is coming out when? Later on this month.

[Larry Miller]

Yeah, it's a premiering in Montreal. I'm going up for that and but I'm very, very happy with it and everybody seems to be. And Sam Elliott is The greatest guy I've ever met. But in any case, that's one of the things that's going on that's dandy.

[Adam Carolla]

He's also one of the best bouncers in the business. Right, Miho? It's available, by the way, the Larry Miller show. Available on Apple Podcasts and Larry's website, LarryMillerpodcast.com all right, let's take a break. Break.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

In the spirit of Murrow. Jennings Cronkite. Here's another great moment in local news.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Hey, nice night for an outdoor concert. Especially when it's the Smashing Pumpkins, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it could have gotten worse if.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It was the Stones.

[Adam Carolla]

Traffic could have been worse. Somebody could have fallen off stage.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

We would have gone there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Sponsored by, like, insurer. All right, stop it. I'm sorry. Just worried about somebody breaking a hip. That's a great moment in local news.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Now back to the Adam Carolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

Austin Fletcher is here. He's got a YouTube channel. YouTube.com Is it fleckustalks?

[Austin Fletcher]

Fleckustalks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Spell that, please.

[Austin Fletcher]

F, L, E, C, C, A, S.

[Adam Carolla]

I got it right, right here. And I've seen you guys have seen Austin doing his thing out there for the last year or so. So went to Dartmouth and. Four year starter as a center.

[Austin Fletcher]

I was. Yeah, four year starter, 38 out of 40 games.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Austin Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What the fuck with the other two, dude?

[Austin Fletcher]

Actually there was a fifth year senior who started the first two games when I was a freshman. And they wanted him to start because he had been, you know, put so much time in and he went in and got kind of worked out pretty bad. So I went in after that and never really came out.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it's weird. I don't know if you feel this way, but like I was looking down at my notes, I was talking to Captain Scott. Whatever. I'll figure out his last name. Scott Campbell on the crab, Deadliest Catch guy. Guy skippers a boat, goes into deadly waters, has a bunch of dudes he has to take care of and has to like come home alive, basically. And. And I was like, I know me and that guy agree on almost everything. Every facet of life we agree on because that guy lives in a world just filled with gravity. One fuck up, everyone hits the drink. You last 30 seconds in that water and you die. And that's what he's. And he also, nobody gets paid if he doesn't come home with a hole full of king crab. So I know that guy lives in a real world and I know Guys who played high level football also just sort of live in that world. There is no talking anyone into anything. You have to go out and beat the guy in front of you, like every snap, Right?

[Austin Fletcher]

Absolutely. And that's what it was since I was little. And that was kind of like the values that my parents instilled in me as well. And I have two brothers and a sister and all three boys played college football. And it was kind of because we had that mindset of, you know, we're going to beat the guy across from us no matter what.

[Adam Carolla]

And, and then you sit in a film session on Monday or Tuesday and you watch over and over as they replay play you screwing up and there is no, come on, coach. Or you know, oh, this guy has it out for me. There's no anything. There's just what happened. Look at the film and you either beat your man or he beat you. And if you get beat consistently, you're going, exactly.

[Austin Fletcher]

Everyone's got to be accountable and you're only as good as your last. Mess up when you do well, it's expected. When you do poorly, you know, here's everyone watching in the, criticizing you for it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And it's like, it seems, I think the problem with what we're going through now as a, as a society a little bit is I think people look at it as harsh. You know what I mean? Like, oh, come on. So some people aren't big enough or strong enough or some people can't. Or why did the guy, why is the coach being mean and taking the person out, putting them on the bench? Or like, why is the sky skipper tearing the guy a new asshole who left the pod hanging off the side of the ship? Whatever. But he's doing it because he has to do it and because that's how that boat functions and that's how the team functions and that's basically how the country and the world functions. And when you stop doing that, it just sort of comes out. You start losing games, you start sinking ships.

[Austin Fletcher]

Oh, definitely. And I think the values that we're talking about are less present now than ever. And I'm sure when you played it was all about being tough. You got a concussion and I remember the concussions were like a one day injury. It's like, oh, you got your bell rung. Like go back in cobwebs.

[Adam Carolla]

Not only that, getting your bell rung, it was, it was comical. So when a guy was concussed, you'd be going, look, he's wandering to the wrong huddle. Look, at him. He doesn't know where his huddle. Yeah, it was Woody Woodpecker kind of comedy hijinks. Like. Yes. Now we realize it's a situation. And I think getting back to sort of the world and politics, we now can agree that making fun of people who are concussed is not a good thing and that those concussions add up and we need to start putting in some protocols and figuring out it out fine. That much we've learned. But not everything is a concussion. And now we're living in a world where everything is now traumatic brain injury or something. So our job is to fix. Take this game and take these little bits and pieces that are actually broken and fix them, but it doesn't mean the game is broken.

[Austin Fletcher]

Yeah, absolutely. And the concussion thing, it was a good change to the game. It was a good change to the process of. Of how we prepare for games. Now you get a concussion, and my team from college now, you're basically out for like, four or five weeks until you can prove that you're completely normal. So I think that's good because obviously the head injuries are bad, but there are a lot of things that football does teach you when you're younger, especially that I don't think is being taught anymore. And I think that's kind of what we're seeing now. We basically have, like, an outrage culture, and it comes from these kids that are now gradually growing up. You know, when I was younger, if I had an issue with a coach, I'd have to figure it out and, you know, do what I have to do to play. Now the parents call the coach. Oh, I'm not happy with him. I wanted him on a different team in a different league. Oh, you know, so and so shouldn't be playing. Put my kid, put my kid in. And it just doesn't allow for accountability anymore. And no one's really, you know, able to. It's harder to actually go out there and just kill it and crush it and be good, because everyone else needs to be good.

[Adam Carolla]

When I played, there wasn't any such thing as having a problem with a coach. It's like you just got the coaches. You got. You know, Mr. Gallagher was a nice guy. Mr. Fitzgerald was kind of a hard ass. And try not to cross up Mr. Fitzgerald. That guy liked to yell, and he liked to grab people by the face mask when he yelled at him. And I'd have guys that throw dip at you and stuff, like, they just reach in their mouth, chuck, dip at your head and stuff like that. Like, that, and it was like, that was it. Mr. Fitzgerald's kind of cool. And over the course of playing for 10 years, you just have, you know, 55, 80 coaches and you're like, oh, Jack Stafford, that guy was a nice guy. That was a nice guy. And then Mr. Coach Burr, that guy was a hard ass. He ran a trucking company. He was always in a bad mood and he kicked the shit out of everybody. But he got. He got a ton of results.

[Gina Grad]

But then your mom would call after every practice.

[Adam Carolla]

She would be standing there on that sideline with her clipboard, pacing. Oh, it was. There was no. There were no. There was no parental intervention at all. This is. You had to negotiate all these different personalities. You'd have six or seven guys, like the line coach and defensive backs coach and offensive coordinator, whatever. You had to kind of just deal with this guy. It's a hard ass. This guy you can kind of joke around with to a degree. You negotiate like you have to do in the real world. Who can you mess around with? Who's a little easier? Who's a little.

[Austin Fletcher]

Oh, definitely. And I had a coach, lineman coach, coach Gallagher, who my older brother had as well. And between. After my older brother graduated, he had a lot of complaints from the parents and I think he was yelling some. Some inappropriate things. And the cheerleaders heard him and then they told the coach. So he had to go to like, anger management and like, prove he was doing his hours to continue coaching. So he used to just like change his words. He was allowed to say. So instead of calling you, you know, the C word, he'd call you something else.

[Adam Carolla]

Come on, lady.

[Austin Fletcher]

It was brutal. But, you know, he was a really good coach. And once they made him kind of tone it down, it was a little different after that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they just call you candy ass. And that's the C word. Yeah, that was the C word. All the good stuff. Yeah. The go to was ladies. I love that. That was always a good. That was a good one too. So you have spent the past, how many months going to various rallies and trying to, you know, get people's. Get the information from people or at least inter folks.

[Austin Fletcher]

It's been about 15 months and you're getting in these.

[Adam Carolla]

You're kind of going in a little bit of these war zones. I know there's, you know, definitely scuffles and punches being thrown and things like that. I'm guessing your size and your football training has probably made you feel a little more secure.

[Austin Fletcher]

Yeah, I'm probably lower on the list. When it comes to who should we attack. But yeah, there's definitely. I've definitely seen some scuffles. I always try to de escalate situations when they arise. I don't want to fight, I don't want to promote fighting. And that's definitely not the answer. But I think lately, unfortunately, with stuff we've heard from like Maxine Waters and a bunch of other politicians, I think things are kind of heading in that direction where there's going to be more fights and riots and people upset.

[Adam Carolla]

So you're in. There's a picture, you and Maxine Waters here that we're looking at. You take the mic, you tape it to a wooden spoon. Give it a weird kind of Alti home sponge kind of vibe.

[Austin Fletcher]

Yeah, a little homespun vibe, for sure. I actually, I used a spoon just because I needed something to hold my recorder and I use like crap equipment or whatever I can really come up with. And I used the spoon because I have an Italian mom and growing up, she'd make. She always says, you know, she threatened me with the spoon because she doesn't like when I go on air and say she hit me with the spoon.

[Gina Grad]

The back of the spoon.

[Austin Fletcher]

She thinks she'll get in trouble. But I used to get whacked with the spoon when I misbehaved. And it was good, like all the kids did, and we were all really disciplined and structured. And I think a lot of the people I'm dealing with in the streets at the protests didn't really have that growing up.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably not a whole lot of organized football either in their past. Did you talk to Maxine or were you just pictured there with her?

[Austin Fletcher]

I got her quick for a question, but as soon as she knew I was asking a question, she walked away. So I didn't get much from her.

[Adam Carolla]

God. Somebody sent me a tweet of her dad district today and it was just like a two minute sort of car drive through her district. I'm sure it wasn't meant to be flattering, but looked like Thunderdome, you'd have to stay. You couldn't stage it. I mean, it's just people. Humanity just like flopped out everywhere. And I don't know, I just feel like if you're in charge of this area and it's complete anarchy with humans just sort of laying in the streets every. I just feel like that should be higher up on your list of talking points. Maybe the new world order is not avoiding that at all costs. I guess it is. We'll play a little clip. I Think we have one. How do we set this one up after I have it.

[Max Pata]

Yeah. This is just to show people the kind of interview style that Austin does when he goes to these rallies.

[Austin Fletcher]

What are we protesting?

[Gina Grad]

Well, there are a bunch of alt right people over there in which that's pretty much synonymous with neo Nazis. And I don't like that them in my backyard. So I'm here to just be like, hey, stop that.

[Austin Fletcher]

Very cool. Yeah, me too.

[Adam Carolla]

What.

[Austin Fletcher]

How do you define alt right? What is the alt right?

[Gina Grad]

It's this kind of like newer rightist ideology that tries to. I feel like I'm an idiot because.

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

I'm on the spot right now, but.

[Gina Grad]

Donald Trump is worse than Hitler.

[Austin Fletcher]

How much of his base do you think is the kkk?

[Adam Carolla]

A large amount.

[Austin Fletcher]

Does your sign say?

[Gina Grad]

It says kill. Kill Donald Trump and then it says kill Mike Pence and then it says it's guillotine time, bitches.

[Adam Carolla]

What? And I know you can. I know you can edit these things however you want and I'm not accusing you of cooking it, but obviously you got to take. The more. The more the more interesting is going to make the cut. I get it. But I'll tease this. What percentage of people that you speak to at one of these events. Events is pretty coherent. Has their head screwed on straight, maybe disagree with them politically, but they seem like decent Americans and what are just sort of seem like crazed people that are unemployable. Just a general kind of. You'd have to be there to catch the vibe, I guess. I've never been to any kind of rally. Oh, many years ago when Taco Bell was talking about doing away with the bell beefer, I did show up. That's when the candle went through the plates. Obviously when a cause is severe enough.

[Gina Grad]

A lot of chanting, take back the noche.

[Adam Carolla]

But the kids in cages or what have you. Not so much. So much. But I just want to like the general vibe of when you're out there right and left or, or anti fun, whatever. Like, what's the general vibe? Because I think there's a. I guess I'm asking you, like when people are with a celebrity, like they finally get to hold a celebrity celebrity and they're like, he's not really that good looking in real life. Like he's not striking. He's a little shorter than I thought. Or there's a. Oh man, he's taller and smarter than I even. Oh, he's a sharp dude and funny. Like there's. You know what I mean?

[Brian Bishop]

It goes either way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Like, you'd go, oh, no, Jon Hamm is tall and he's a funny guy. Like, he's really smart.

[Brian Bishop]

What you'd expect.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But you'll never really know the difference between Tom Cruise and Jon Hamm unless you physically go to a dinner party and they're there, you know? All right, you think about that. I'll tell you about Medmen redefining the cannabis industry. And it's a premium shopping experience. There's something for everyone there, whether you're new to the cannabis world or familiar with it. They got lotions and edibles, bath bombs and more. Gina Grad, what are you thinking?

[Gina Grad]

Well, actually, I was just thinking about this. A friend met us 4th of July at the beach and had a really bad experience with some weed they were given. And I said to them, you know, it's 2018. You don't have to just take something that some stranger hands you. There are places you can go like Medmen. They're knowledgeable. They have lots of variety. They will tell you exactly what will be good for you. So go ahead and do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Highest quality and safety. Don't worry about what you're buying. Well, that's previously discussed. Check out their eight locations, L.A. orange County, San Diego, Vegas, or visit medmen.com and find the store nearest you. It's Medmen, right, Dawson, Visit Medmen and.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

Mention the Adam carolla show for $10 off your order. Check out Medmen today.

[Adam Carolla]

I think we have a 10 second Maxine Waters clip that Max Pana found.

[Austin Fletcher]

And we're here protesting the ties to Russia. Maxine, what about your retirement fund ties to Russia? $200,000.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a lie. It's a lie. All right. Usually when it's a lie, they then explain why it's a lie.

[Gina Grad]

You dig your heels in and want to explain yourself.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but she just left.

[Austin Fletcher]

Okay, and to get to your question, what percentage? I would say 10%. One in 10 people can put together a cohesive argument and actually make some sense. It's crazy. And I know that number sounds low and there is some cooking. I do obviously edit to make it entertaining, make it fun people to watch, but it's hard to. You know, people think I'm just selectively editing and cherry picking. It's like, how do you selectively edit Donald Trump is worse than Hitler? Or, you know, a lot of these people didn't vote. Some one woman during the gun march said, if you can get an AR15, what's stopping someone to get a nuclear weapon?

[Gina Grad]

There's a couple barriers to entry.

[Adam Carolla]

You so. Well, see, I always have this. I have this thing about gainful and plain. And so first things first, when something's going on during the day, during the week, I'm like, I feel the same way. I scream about with my neighbors where it's like, hey, you've come over and banged on the door cuz they're trimming a tree that's technically on my property. But why aren't you at work? What are you doing here? Like so strike one. If you're not at work and it's a rally that's like weekday middle of the day, everyone is guilty until proven innocent to me because you all should be at work. Especially like able bodied, 20, 23 year old, you know, whatever. The economy's decent enough, you should have a gig, I would imagine. But now you tell me, is there a little difference between the weekend crew and the weekday workday crew? Because I figured there'd be a little difference between the dads out there who on a Saturday or Sunday versus the midday midweek crew.

[Austin Fletcher]

Yeah, there is the midweek crew crew. There are some organizations where they are paying people. Like one of them is called refusefascism.org, and you see the same, you know, 20 or so organizers at every event. So they're the ones who actually kind of made a career out of it, I guess. But the day crew really is clueless. The weekend crew. I mean, I don't see much of a difference. It's usually the same people.

[Adam Carolla]

You must end up being a lot like Jane Goodall or somebody who studies great white sharks or something where eventually they start noticing the different stripes or the one has a little chip in its, in its dorsal fin or whatever, they start naming them.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You cannot imagine how wrong you are.

[Adam Carolla]

Because you must start seeing the same people at the same events and you must start going with purple hair or nose pierce or. I mean you must have groups like Jane Goodall does, right? No, for sure.

[Austin Fletcher]

And I actually have like people that I've interviewed multiple times who I guess have never seen the videos online. There's like this guy John, who I interviewed on the overpass and his quote that I love was words are just words until action actually starts. Because actions speak louder than words. But at the same time words speak louder than actions because sometimes it's the right thing to do. So every time I see John, I'm.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, john, good to see you again.

[Austin Fletcher]

And he's like, hey, like, what's going on? Let's do another interview.

[Gina Grad]

We need a T shirt and some stencils, stat.

[Austin Fletcher]

Oh, I'm on it. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's take ourselves a quick break. We'll come back, we'll do the news. Austin Fletcher, hang in and crack wise with us. Your broken AC may not be broken broken. It may just need a recharge. With the Avalanche AC recharge kit just 39.99, plus an additional 15 prepaid Visa card by mail. Just pull the trigger and the Avalanche AC AC recharge kit now 39.99 plus 15 prepaid Visa card quality parts. Helpful people. That's Napa know how at participating Napa auto parts stores offer expires 6, 30, 18. Give me the news with crack News with Gina Grad. Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina Grad. Trouble in the Middle East, Celebrity drunk meltdowns with Gina Gina.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

The news with Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

Well, speaking of protesters, the New York Post reports that police in New York have identified the woman who scaled the base of the Statue of Liberty on fourth of July to protest separation of migrant families at the border. Cops say 44 year old Teresa Okomo, an immigrant from the Congress, is now in federal custody. She climbed up to the statue's feet and remained in a standoff with police for three hours before climbing the statue. Okomo joined a club of activists called Rise and Resist NYC and unfurled a large banner which read abolish ice. A spokesperson for the group said it was not their plan to have anyone climb on the statue and that she acted alone. The group is now working on getting her legal representation.

[Brian Bishop]

You got to talk to her, Austin.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Look at that grip, though.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a big grip.

[Adam Carolla]

Ambitious. That is ambitious. Now, how high, how tough is it to scale the base? Like, how much of it is the base?

[Taco Bell Hotel Representative]

Good question.

[Adam Carolla]

She went from the base to the actual, actual statue. But did you get a. You can't really get too far up the statue.

[Brian Bishop]

That's impressive, though, where she is.

[Austin Fletcher]

Yeah, she got herself hurt. And I heard there were some boats of people who were going to the Statue of Liberty that day and obviously July 4th, and they had to turn around because they didn't have that situation squared away yet.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I feel like. Well, I feel that's part of my deal with, like, I don't mind protests, but my thing is, like, back to Maxine Waters, like, you find these people at the restaurants or the gas stations and you get a crowd and you start yelling at them, like, how about the Couple that's out there to celebrate their anniversary, they gotta deal with these assholes screaming at the table next to them like, what about the rest of the people? You know? Mm. We should really do a. We should add 8th day of the week for protesters where restaurants were open and you could go disturb whoever you wanted or if you wanted to go to the Statue of Liberty. All right, so she got. She got up there. All right, well, I like her athleticism.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Well, speaking of fourth of July, congratulations, Joey Chestnut. As we talked about a little earlier, Joey the Jaws successfully defended his hot dog eating title in 10 minutes, consumed 74 dogs and buns.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I pitched this to cousin Sal on the beach when he was licking his wounds over losing the over under on the hot dog competition. I said, you know, in the NBA All Star game, they do the three point challenge. Every fifth ball is like the red, white and blue money ball, you know, double the points or whatever. I said, do that in a hot dog eating competition. I don't want to see these guys. First off, they're taking the bun, they're ripping the dog out of it. They're dunking it in a pitcher water. They're shoving it in their mouth, shoving the other thing in their ass. Like I said, every fifth dog is a Chicagoan. It's a Chicago style dog. It's got the pickles, it's got that celery salt on there, and you have to eat it straight away.

[Gina Grad]

That's good.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to eat it like you eat a hot dog. No dismantling the dog. And I'm not saying you can't eat it fast, but I'm saying it's got tomato, it's got the. It's got the piece of. It's got the pickle on there.

[Brian Bishop]

You can't deconstruct it.

[Gina Grad]

Can't lose poppy seeds.

[Adam Carolla]

You got to go straight in one, one side and to the end. Do it as fast you want. But every fifth one, Chicago and. Or, you know, chili dog for the.

[Max Pata]

10Th chili cheese in the three point contest.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah, that's right. You got it.

[Max Pata]

He's agreeing to the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm just saying, I. I don't know. It would be more enjoyable to me and I. I could relate to it. You know what I mean?

[Brian Bishop]

Broadwurst every now and then.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah, we do. We did the fifth one, you know, fifth one, we go Chicago, 10th one, we go chili cheese. Then 15th one, we'll go every five. And the fifth, fifth one, we'll go kraut. We'll go the kraut dog. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Grainy mustard.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll mix it up.

[Gina Grad]

That's good.

[Adam Carolla]

And also, if you're watching at home, it's exciting and you know where they're at.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Numerically, you made it to the crowd dog. He's going for the crowd dog.

[Austin Fletcher]

Exactly.

[Gina Grad]

Well, the woman who won, Mikko Sudo, she's won the fifth consecutive year. Guess how many she got down.

[Austin Fletcher]

The female winner, the male winner was 74.

[Gina Grad]

74. How many did Miki Sudo.

[Brian Bishop]

Where's she from? Do you have her nationality?

[Gina Grad]

I do not.

[Austin Fletcher]

Country of origin?

[Adam Carolla]

Factor that in. All right. Joey did 74. 74.

[Gina Grad]

And the female winner did.

[Austin Fletcher]

I did 15 yesterday.

[Adam Carolla]

Nice. The females work. It's not about stature in a weird way.

[Austin Fletcher]

Stomach size, though.

[Brian Bishop]

Kobayashi was ripped.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, you can do stacking too, in the middle to even everything out.

[Adam Carolla]

I will. I will say she did.

[Brian Bishop]

You did. You shimmied.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I did 57.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

I was gonna say 55.

[Austin Fletcher]

45.

[Gina Grad]

Well, you guys would have eaten more than she did. She did 37 and won the big title.

[Austin Fletcher]

Why even have a thing?

[Adam Carolla]

Are we further along?

[Gina Grad]

I know. I thought we came so much farther. Would you like to see the end of the big contest with Joey Chestnut? It's pretty gross.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I don't want to see it.

[Brian Bishop]

I already talked about my involve eating hot dogs.

[Gina Grad]

I watched it and I really felt sick. So we don't have to watch it at the end.

[Austin Fletcher]

They do, I'm sure, pull their triggers.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Austin Fletcher]

And get that out. They have to. After it's over, they go home and.

[Brian Bishop]

They just, like, ride later on that day on the stage.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there's too much dipping, too much whatevering. Again, if we institute my themed dogs, it'd be a much better place.

[Gina Grad]

Clean it up a little.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

It gets up to the hotlink.

[Gina Grad]

I love that. All right, well, three more men have accused Kevin Spacey of sexual assault in London. The actors now being investigated for six assaults across the pond. TMZ says in April, quote, a man claimed he was sexually assaulted in Westminster in 1996. Two other men came forward in February with allegations of sexual assault.

[Adam Carolla]

1. Were they. Were they adults? Well, we don't know.

[Gina Grad]

One was 18, so I'm not sure about the others. I think they're probably having their anonymity protected. One was in 2008. Gossip blog says, like the older cases. Oh, officers from the Child Abuse and Sexual Offenses commander involved in three of the new cases. So one of Them, the one in Massachusetts is an 18 year old. The actor is set to be on the big screen in Billionaire Boys Club in a week or so from now. So he is gonna attempt to open another movie.

[Adam Carolla]

So considering whatever side, whether it's the Weinstein or Spacey side of the coin you land on, you either do this or you don't. Sure. It's kind of like any crime, right? Like, I robbed one liquor store one time a long time ago, and now nothing. It's like, yeah, that's why you should never really feel that sorry for the people that are incarcerated. Because it's always like, yeah, they caught him. All I did was steal a B. Yeah, but you did some version of this a thousand times. Like every cop, everyone always tell you, everyone in prison has done a whole shitload of stuff along the way until they get caught. A rare occasion, but that's usually the way it goes. So when you're into this, you're into this, right?

[Gina Grad]

And one of the guys, I guess, was 29.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's no hobby. I'm gonna lay the same thing out with Spacey's I did with Weinstein. Is it time to flee? I mean, these guys.

[Brian Bishop]

What's Kevin.

[Adam Carolla]

What's Kevin Spacey? Is he 61? I mean, is he 59 and a half? Check it. Is that what it is? You know his age?

[Max Pata]

59.

[Adam Carolla]

59. He's 59. I mean, by the time that he ends up going in, he could be incarcerated. When he's 62 or 61 or whatever, he could be 15 or 20 years. Like, that's. Those are years you'd like to enjoy. You don't want to step out of the joint in your early 80s. I mean, these guys have money. Is it time for them to start thinking about going somewhere?

[Brian Bishop]

Because his career is, let's just say, probably not as hot as it once was.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the prime earning days are behind them. Whatever money they've accumulated, they have, theoretically, they got money, but they don't have time, per se. Say, is, do you want to go to Bolivia or something and just get some land, a houseboat or something and just go screw it. And then someone will go, yeah, but he has a grand whatever or daughter or adopted whatever. And it's like, okay, but she want to visit him in prison. Like, can't she visit him in Bolivia or wherever he's going? Like, I don't know. To me, this is making sense. Like, this is of the part. Part of my, you know, O.J. get the cash, get the mask, get the AC to drive you to the border. Right?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that kind of.

[Gina Grad]

I mean I think we've talked about this one idea of this one type of personality disorder where you have guys that are like it won't happen to me, I'm not going away.

[Brian Bishop]

That's for other people or it's worked so long for, you know, thus far for so long. What are the chances it's going to catch up up?

[Adam Carolla]

People are going to want justice and it's going to be very difficult to not see the inside of a prison cell. I think for these guys look no further than Bill Cosby. I don't know. Should Cosby, would Cosby, I guess if Cosby had a magic wand, would he have fled four years ago or something like that? I'm assuming it would. Like, I don't know. It's confusing to me. But I'll ask Eric and his movie.

[Austin Fletcher]

Still coming out as scheduled which is crazy. And that's similar with that Smallville actress Alison Mack who's caught up in the nexium sex trafficking stuff. Like Smallville's still on Hulu and when Roseanne got canceled everything came off of everything.

[Adam Carolla]

Well we don't. There's a difference between probably men and women not. But I don't know if she ever been thought of as a woman per se. We do, yes. The sex trafficking thing is heinous as it is. It still doesn't. It doesn't involve a penis that's attached to a dude violating either woman or dude. And we just have all these weird rules like in our same way. Like you know, butterfly is beautiful and a cockroach is hateful. Like they're insects, they could do some damage or not. Like we just have to this weird human wiring that where you decide what's good well what's good one's worse, what's bad and somehow we never really get it right. I always think back on how crazy everyone was going on Matt Damon when he was making his comments about well let's see. Let's draw a distinction between what Weinstein did and what Al Franken did. And everyone went nuts on him for like the sanest statement ever made. Yeah. Oh yeah. Would anybody, would anyone want Weinstein in charge of their. If you had a choice between Weinstein being in charge, you know, your 18 year old daughter working for Weinstein versus working for Al Franken, would any parent choose one over the other? Well then we've answered our question. Or if you said here's what happened to your daughter, whatever Weinstein's accused of versus whatever Al Franken's accused of. Whatever Al Franken's accused of. I don't know. He went, he went to the country fair. He went to the fair and this guy slapped, grabbed her ass cheek over jeans or something. Like, I, as a dad, I'd be like, that's nothing compared to what this guy.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a regrettable act.

[Adam Carolla]

But yeah, the other one is airlifted to therapy versus shake it off. Rub a little dirt on it, as our coaches would say first. All right, we'll do a little more news first. I'll tell you about Lifelock, man. So summertime tips to reduce your risk of getting hacked while traveling. Change passwords before you leave and again when you return. Leave non essential devices at home and don't trust the public. WI fi. Done and done. I'm not good enough to log on. So there are many threats out there in today's digital world. Good thing. LifeLock Identity theft protection includes the power of Norton security for added protection. LifeLock uses proprietary technology technology to help protect against identity theft. Like your info on sale on the dark web. Norton helps protect against online threats like ransomware. This is the new world order we're living in. People, people are stealing your identity. They're hacking into accounts. You need identity theft protection. You need the best. You need lifelock. If you have a problem, their agents will work to fix it. But you want to have a problem. You have Lifelock. Right, Dawson Knowing and stop every cyber.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

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[Brian Bishop]

Brian just to wrap up the billionaire boys club movie thing, I'll go ahead and say it's a bit of a hard luck case for the movie and the movie makers because this movie, it's not a Kevin Spacey movie. He's like the third or fourth. He's a, he's a character supporting actor in this movie and this movie was in the of case and ready to be released last year, I think around Oscar time when remember the all the money in the world. Yeah, the Getty movie came out and it had to be recast and blah, blah, blah. And this one, that was a big studio picture and they had the money to recast it and reshoot it, which is an insane amount of Money. This is a little like smaller independent movie. And these guys have had it in the can for 8, 10, however many months, you know, like, hoping this thing would blow over, and it never really did.

[Gina Grad]

Who are the other stars?

[Brian Bishop]

It is Ansel Elgort who was in the Fault in Our Stars. She's really good actor. And Taran Edgerton, who you would know is the guy from Kingsman.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

The kid from Kingsman.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Yeah. Look, my kind of head on it.

[Brian Bishop]

Is bad timing for these guys.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't, we don't need to punish everyone associated with the movie. Kevin Spacy deserves a trial. You know, I don't know. We don't know that all the allegations are true. Like, I also don't. This part where we cut off everyone's livelihood is kind of weird to me. I, I, I feel like, let's find out whether the person did this or not. And if we find out the person did it, then let's let the legal system run its course and punish the person. This thing where it's like, you got to get fired from your job, like, hey, Chris Hardwick, you're no longer needed here. Like this. Somebody said something. Somebody said, how to tweet you can't work anymore. It's kind of a weird, with all.

[Brian Bishop]

The talks of witch hunts, that's a little closer to the actual, you know, the actual thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And also, so just firing people, to me, I don't know, it's like being you're a crappy student, you get suspended from school. Like, you don't have to show up. Like, I don't know, let them work and then let them do restitution or pay off or community service or whatever it is. This whole thing where it's like, hey, you don't get to work anymore. It's kind of a weird punishment. And it doesn't, I don't know, feels a little un American. And then you punish everybody involved with the movie, all the other actors. 198 people involved with this endeavor that are now getting punished as well.

[Max Pata]

Yeah. In the official statement, it says, but we believe in giving the cast and the hundreds of crew members who worked hard on the film the chance to see their final product reach audiences in a weird way.

[Adam Carolla]

I bet it's not going to hurt it. I bet, I don't know. I bet people will be curious.

[Brian Bishop]

It might go straight to video.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Oh, it's not even coming out.

[Max Pata]

It's limited release, so it will be.

[Adam Carolla]

Video on demand, but it's limited in theaters.

[Max Pata]

Yeah, it's one of those.

[Brian Bishop]

I think it's one of those. Is both.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I bet. I bet it might get some. I bet. Well, I don't know what size film it is. I don't know what size release it would have got, but I bet just all the talk might. There might be enough curiosity. Might be enough curiosity people go look at.

[Gina Grad]

All right, well, shortly before passing away, Joe Jackson tried to make amends for the brutal beatings he gave his children as he drove them towards fame and fortune. According to a source he was preparing for. For the end, Jackson said, quote, he's truly sorry for the misery he inflicted on some of his kids when they were young. He was trying to drive them to success as their manager. Michael Jackson, who died at the age of 50 from a drug overdose in 2009, stunned fans when he revealed childhood abuse at the hands of the father. We actually watched some of that. Or actually, there's a different one. I'm sorry. 93 interview with Oprah, Joe. And a clip we watched as well. Joe later publicly admitted abusing his children by whipping them with a bent and flexible. Janet and Latoya did not suffer similar punishments, but they did grow up fearful of their father. He died of pancreatic cancer last Wednesday right at the 11th hour. Sorry.

[Brian Bishop]

First of all, how's it going?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I am trying to think of God, my son. He doesn't. He has no fear of his father. There's a way to change right now. Yeah.

[Austin Fletcher]

Split the difference. Jackson's.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Austin Fletcher]

You know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I got to meet in the middle. Meet in the middle, meet in the middle. I always. The thing that I always, I marvel at with guys like Joe Jackson is he. He's. He's accused of doing evil things. So he grows a mustache that. In cartoons, when you need to make a guy evil, you draw that mustache.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a trophy mustache.

[Adam Carolla]

He is a. A. It's a. It's a turn of the century carnival bark evil carnival barker tying a girl.

[Gina Grad]

To a train track.

[Brian Bishop]

Twist the end of it as you tie the girl to the train track.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't quite the snidely whiplash one, but it was the other one. It's this super dicey, scary mustache guy. And then. And I like when they augment it with like. And give me a pinky ring so people know I'm really an.

[Gina Grad]

And give me a real high arch in the eyebrow.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Like, I want to advertise. I want people, people who live in outer space to see that I'm Evil. Like, I'm gonna argue. Here's what I'm gonna argue. I'm gonna argue that you put on a Jimmy Buffett tank top and then beat the shit out of your kids. You go the other direction. You see what I'm saying here? If you really want to get in some more quality beating times and you don't want people intervening, maybe a Tommy Bahama show. Lose the Mustang, lose the pinky ring, and people leave you alone.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, Jimmy Buffett. You know what song this is? Pencil free mustache.

[Adam Carolla]

You put on a Jimmy Buffett tank top, and you can do whatever you want to your own kids for as long as you want. No one ever intervenes. No one ever goes, look at that guy with the beer koozie and the wine coolie. I bet that guy.

[Gina Grad]

No, it's a good tip.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. All right, let's bring it home.

[Gina Grad]

You got it. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina. Gina.

[Commercial Grade Announcer]

That was the news with Gina Grad.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, let's save ourselves some money, people. Let's go to Geico and save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance. You don't have to go anywhere. Just go to geico.com geico.com 15min could be saving 15 or more on your auto insurance. Take that extra money, put it in your pocket. It'll be the most rewarding thing you do all week long. Geico.com spend a couple of minutes and see just how much you could be saving on your auto [e-mail] and I want to thank Simplisafe. The Adam Corolla show is brought to you by SimpliSafe. You go to SimpliSafe.com Adam. That'd be SimpliSafe.com all right, you can go to AdamCarolla.com look at the new website. Lots of cool swag there. And live shows, leggings and live shows and everything everywhere. And check out chassis.com, two S's and Y. Check out some of our movies. Pre order Uppity. It just helps. Say hi to Austin Fletcher, your YouTube.com lecas there's two Cs in there as well. Talks and you can subscribe to all Austin's videos over there. Anything we're missed, shoot him a tweet at fleckasf L Eccas. Yes, Austin, Absolutely.

[Austin Fletcher]

That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

And until next time, this is Adam Perot for Larry Miller. Austin Fletcher, Gina Grad. And ball Brian. Sam. Mahala.

[Gina Grad]

I've been blood for 24 hours. I'm considering going to earth and care.

[Brian Bishop]

Alright, that is it for today's cruel classics. Flashing back to 2018 and 2019 respectively.

[Adam Carolla]

Make sure to check out tomorrow's episode. Until then, mahalo and get it on, Sam.