Jim Jefferies + Greg Fitzsimmons (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show – Episode: Jim Jefferies + Greg Fitzsimmons (Carolla Classics) Release Date: May 30, 2025

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Introduction

In this special episode of Carolla Classics, host Adam Carolla is joined by stand-up comedian Jim Jefferies and guest Greg Fitzsimmons. The episode delves into a variety of topics, blending humor with candid discussions on personal experiences, the entertainment industry, and societal issues.

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1. Technical Troubles and Show Dynamics (00:15 – 07:49)

The episode kicks off with Gina Grad recounting her frustrations with faulty microphone packs during their time on the Loveline show. She humorously describes the recurring issue where the mic pack would disengage, causing significant disruption during live segments.

• Gina Grad (01:00): "Sometimes, less is more."

This technical hiccup not only impeded smooth conversations but also led to moments of levity and exasperation among the team. The discussion highlights the challenges of producing a live show, especially with minimal resources and inexperienced producers.

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2. Musical Highlights: The Jayhawks and Victoria Williams (07:44 – 19:14)

The conversation shifts to music, with Gina Grad sharing her experience attending a Jayhawks concert. She praises the band's performance, emphasizing their musical prowess and willingness to experiment beyond their traditional sound.

• Gina Grad (13:13): "They pushed the boundaries last night, and it was a nice, small club fond of theater, sounded great, and they just sounded so goddamn good."

David Wilde adds his enthusiasm for the band, mentioning upcoming performances and notable collaborations, including tributes and mashups featuring artists like Sheryl Crow and Ariana Grande. The segment underscores the enduring appeal of The Jayhawks and their ability to innovate within the music scene.

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3. Stand-Up Spotlight: Jim Jefferies on Religion and Power (19:14 – 26:36)

Jim Jefferies delivers a riveting stand-up segment, tackling sensitive topics with his signature blunt humor. He opens with a scathing critique of organized religion, expressing his disdain for all religions equally.

• Jim Jefferies (25:03): "I hate Muslims. I hate Christians. I hate the Amish. I hate Buddhists. I hate the snake people. I hate Jews."

Jefferies clarifies his stance, distinguishing his criticism of religion as an institution from individual beliefs, emphasizing that his grievances lie with the concept of religion itself rather than any particular faith.

• Jim Jefferies (26:36): "Our fight in this world is not against Islam. It's against religion."

The segment is both provocative and thought-provoking, prompting listeners to reflect on the role of religion and power dynamics in society.

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4. Personal Anecdotes: Racing and Overcoming Challenges (26:36 – 38:11)

Transitioning from stand-up, Gina Grad shares a personal story about participating in the Paris to Car Rally in her wife’s car. She vividly describes the intense heat conditions and mechanical failures, illustrating her determination to overcome unexpected obstacles.

• Gina Grad (35:00): "I put a note on my keys and stuff, like, freezer, pack, pack, freezer."

Her narrative highlights the unpredictability of live events and the importance of quick thinking and adaptability in crisis situations.

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5. Advertising Break: Onnit and Other Sponsors (38:11 – 86:17)

The episode features several ad segments promoting sponsors like Onnit, LegalZoom, and Castrol Edge. These segments are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, maintaining the show's momentum while providing useful product information to listeners.

• Adam Carolla (77:36): "LegalZoom makes it easy. They're not a law firm, so you don't have to take time out of your day and march on down to the guy's office."

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6. Deep Dive: Jim Jefferies on Sensitive Humor and Personal Struggles (86:17 – 116:06)

Jim Jefferies returns with more stand-up material, delving into controversial humor surrounding topics like rape. He navigates the fine line between comedy and sensitivity, reflecting on how humor can be both a coping mechanism and a tool for social commentary.

• Jim Jefferies (92:03): "But I have to do this little public service announcement before I do this routine. I believe in many ways rape is wrong."

Jefferies discusses his approach to handling dark subjects in comedy, emphasizing the importance of context and intent in delivering impactful jokes without crossing ethical boundaries.

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7. Community Stories and Personal Relationships (116:06 – 157:05)

The dialogue shifts to personal anecdotes and community interactions. Gina Grad shares her experiences at a car wash, highlighting cultural differences and the eccentricities of small business owners.

• Gina Grad (123:14): "Everything is for sale. Why not do it here?"

The conversation touches on themes of cultural diversity, community support, and the humorous side of everyday interactions. David Wilde and Jim Jefferies contribute stories about family dynamics, workplace humor, and the challenges of maintaining personal relationships amidst busy schedules.

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8. News Segment: Current Events and Analysis (157:05 – 174:05)

The hosts discuss recent news stories, including Julian Assange’s announcement about releasing sensitive documents and the Supreme Court's involvement in political matters.

• Jim Jefferies (163:07): "We can't stop women from slaughtering fetuses, and yet."

Gina Grad and David Wilde provide their takes on political and social issues, blending insightful analysis with their characteristic humor. Topics range from celebrity news to political controversies, offering listeners a comprehensive overview of contemporary events.

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9. Rolling Stone’s Best TV Shows List and Pop Culture (174:05 – 183:00)

The discussion turns to Rolling Stone’s ranking of the best TV shows of all time. The hosts debate the list, highlighting favorites like The Sopranos, The Wire, Seinfeld, and The Twilight Zone.

• Gina Grad (175:02): "The Sopranos number one."

They critique the selections, debating the merits of each show and their cultural impact. Jim Jefferies emphasizes the intelligence behind The Wire, while David Wilde and Gina Grad express their personal preferences and the significance of diversity in rankings.

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10. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Events (183:00 – End)

The episode concludes with references to upcoming events, including the Best Buddies Comedy Benefit and future appearances by Jim Jefferies. The hosts encourage listeners to support charitable causes and attend live shows, fostering a sense of community and engagement.

• Gina Grad (180:54): "We need more people like you."

Jim Jefferies wraps up with final thoughts on the discussed topics, leaving listeners with a blend of humor and introspection.

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Notable Quotes

• Gina Grad (01:00): "Sometimes, less is more."
• Jim Jefferies (25:03): "I hate Muslims. I hate Christians. I hate the Amish. I hate Buddhists. I hate the snake people. I hate Jews."
• Gina Grad (13:13): "They pushed the boundaries last night, and it was a nice, small club fond of theater, sounded great, and they just sounded so goddamn good."
• Jim Jefferies (26:36): "Our fight in this world is not against Islam. It's against religion."

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Conclusion

This episode of the Adam Carolla Show masterfully blends humor with serious discussions, featuring standout performances from Jim Jefferies and insightful contributions from Greg Fitzsimmons. From technical mishaps and musical tributes to deep dives into sensitive humor and current events, the conversation offers a rich tapestry of entertainment and thought-provoking dialogue. Listeners are treated to a dynamic exchange that balances levity with meaningful commentary, showcasing the show's hallmark wit and candidness.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per the instructions.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.

[Gina Grad]

This is the podcast. We play the best moments, highlights and.

[Adam Carolla]

Fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Carolla show.

[Gina Grad]

We have a companion podcast titled Corolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Classics with ad free archives exclusively available through Podcast one Premium.

[Gina Grad]

You can also find ad free archives for The Adam and Dr. Drew show, the Adam Carolla show, as well as.

[Adam Carolla]

Exclusive access to the brand new show.

[Gina Grad]

Beat it Out through Adam Corolla's substack.

[Adam Carolla]

Adamcarolla.Substack.Com make sure to check it out and subscribe. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsdamcarolla.com now on to the clips. Come up first day we have Adam Corolla Show 1870, Jim Jeffries, David Wilde.

[Brian Bishop]

Gina Grant, Brian Bishop from 2016.

[Adam Carolla]

Hope you guys enjoy the clip.

[Gina Grad]

Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. Good day. Gina Graham, good day to you. And Bob Ryan.

[Brian Bishop]

Sometimes less is more.

[Gina Grad]

And David Wilds in studio.

[Brian Bishop]

Hello, Adam.

[Gina Grad]

Jim Jeffries is coming in a little later. He's got a great stand up special. Another great stand up special coming up. So out Netflix. So we'll get into that in a second as well. David, of course, greatest hits, Arsenio hall. And it's. Oh, Kelsey, right? Kelsey Bellarini.

[Jim Jeffries]

Kelsea.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, okay. Just can't spell it that way. That's all. That's all. All right. That was everyone. That was my biggest, that was my, if you wanted to hear me like pitch a showbiz esque hissy fit, like, you know, the temperamental prima donna diva, diva celebrity things. The only thing I would. There were two big pitch a fit things I would do when we did Loveline on mtv. I should fire you and burn down your frigging house. Well, also, we do four in a day. No one does four one hour episodes of anything in a day. Sometimes you'll gang tape like a game show. But four one hour episodes is a lot of lot of material. There are two things that would make me go insane. One is the mic pack. You'll see it a lot. If you watch TV shows, they clip the mic pack on in the small of your back because that makes the most sense. They sort of hide it behind your jacket or your sweater, whatever it is. And they clip it on. And they would clip it on. And me and Drew would go out and sit down. We'd sit in our seats. Hey, it's Loveline. Let's take a question. What do we got? And Then at a certain point, Mac 10 would come out as the guest or whoever, whatever rapper du jour who was. Mtv, was on MTV would come out. And when they would come out, of course, we would stand up and shake their hand and greet them and sit down. And you could always see my mic pack swinging around, dragging behind me, behind me. Because when I sat down, it would pop off. And then when I stood up, it would. I could feel it yanking on my shirt collars. It swings. And then you're trying to do the move where you're greeting the person and kind of trying to conduct business on your rear end. And I kept saying to the sound guy, like, hey, the mic pack, it pops off. It pops off every time. And he's like, yeah, man. They have a kind of a pressure look. Half a mouse trap that holds it tight. The way it works is it's just a single piece of metal about as thick as a coat hanger. It's sprung and it comes down and forms a little half loop. Things the size of a pack of cigarettes, a little smaller. And it clips in on both sides. And it was one of these things where it's like, yeah, it's gotten loose, it's gotten pulled out.

[Adam Carolla]

It's between a paperclip and a binder clip.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's like a really weak binder clip.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. And it just kept happening. It just kept happening. And I kept saying to him, hey, you gotta tighten up the thing. And he's like, hey, man, the thing's loose. You know, I like when people just tell you what's happening after it happened. You know what I mean? These guys, there's gotta be a corner in fucking hell for these guys that we're real close right next to the corner of the guy who walk up to your car when you have a big ding in the side of it and go, what happened here? A superhero came from the ocean's death. A fucking guy hit me. When I said fucking Costco, what do you mean, what happened?

[Adam Carolla]

There's a limited range of responses that will make sense.

[Gina Grad]

I was doing the Paris to the car rally in my wife's car, and out of the blue, a fucking Jaguar. Not the car, an actual beast, a unicorn, a fucking. Somebody hit my car, and I'm very upset about it. But thank you. For now. I can revisit that. What happened here? What happened? I like the guy once the way he wants to see the scratch on your car. He wants to see the dent in the car. What happened here is the concept to you so alien that Some other car or perhaps a shopping cart may have made contact with this area of my car, thus damaging it or verbalizing.

[Adam Carolla]

Just his instinct, which is, hey, I noticed this thing.

[Gina Grad]

I noticed this thing that it's gotta be upsetting to you. And you know the story's always gonna be, well, the guy hit me. I came out. This is where I parked it in front of my friend's house. It was a party. And then I came out. I see it till the next day. No note on the windshield. Whatever it is, they're gonna get you into a lather.

[Brian Bishop]

They're rubbing salt in your dent, and.

[Jim Jeffries]

Once you're lathered up, they go, oh, drag walk.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's a bummer. Then they'll tell you about the one time their car got a dent in it. I had an Impala once. Well, it was my dad's car, but. Well, he. Well, he passed. Well, that's another story. It's like, all right, cars get dense. Fine, moving on. I don't need to know. The guy with the mic kept telling me, yeah, the thing's loose. The thing's loose. And then one time.

[Brian Bishop]

So it's coming off.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it's coming off. So after about the 55th time it happened, I remember popping up to say hi to Jenny McCarthy or something, and I felt it pull. And I just went, God damn it. And we went to commercial, and I just walked up to the guy's, like, sound table, and I said, give me this motherfucking thing. And I pulled it off and I popped both ears. I popped it off. And what I did is I bent it the wrong way so that when you put it back on, it would snap. It would snap. And I said, give me that fucking gaffer's tape. And he gave it to me, and I wrapped the gaffer's tape around the thin little sort of coat hanger metal part, and I popped it back in and I went, it's done. It's fixed now, okay? You're a sound guy. Can you please handle your fucking business? And then I went back and made jokes. The other one was all we had. No writers, no Barely any producers. The producers were like kids. They paid $9 an hour to all we had. And all we required is one card that had the person's first name, the caller's first name. They would hold it under the camera and I think their age, and that's all it was. And because everyone's a nut, we would have Kelsey spelled K E L S E A. And then I would go and I would look like an insane person because I'd punch him up and I'd go, kelsey, Kel. Kalia. Kelsa. Kelsa Kesta. And then the person to always exacerbate things would go, it's Kelsey. Which then made me seem like an insane person because I couldn't recognize or see the name Kelsey or read the name Kelsey. And then I would walk off stage and I would go, I don't care how they spell it, but that's how they spell it. I go, yeah, but it's not. The cue card is not on camera. It's under the camera. So however you spell Kelsey as however you should write it. And then they'd go, but that's how they spell it. I'd go, I don't care. I don't care. Just write it the way they. It's traditionally spelled, and that'll be that. And then two days later, it'll be the exact same thing. And you know what the person would always say? They never go, oh, I fucked up. I forgot. They go, that's the way they spell it. So weird. It's weird, right?

[Adam Carolla]

It's an ability to know what's truly important. It's not important how they spell. What's important is that it's.

[Jim Jeffries]

You say it correctly.

[Adam Carolla]

Say the word that is on the screen.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, those were. That would be my. What would happen is, is I would seethe during the call. Like, once they would explain to me that their name was Susie, except for they just did it.

[Adam Carolla]

It was spelled like Susie in the Banshee was.

[Gina Grad]

Right. There was a bunch of X's in it, right? Yeah. Like the Sioux tribe or something spells it. Yeah. And I'd be handling their call, and I'd be like, well, yeah, pubic lice can be difficult to explain to a partner. We gotta go to commercial. And then we go to commercial, I just go flying off the set and go scream at the fucking person.

[Brian Bishop]

And you're adaptable. You got Arsenio. You have no problem with. Even though that's. It's very unusual. Yeah, but it's just Kelsey.

[Gina Grad]

One way to say it. Yeah. All right, so David Wilde, the show, by the way, tonight, a very, very good show. Lots of energy, lots of fun tonight. So we have. What do we have? Oh, Kenny Loggins in here.

[Brian Bishop]

Tonight is Little Big Town doing the coolest version of Falling, which Gary, I just played it for him. Maybe he'll play while I tell you the rest for 10 seconds.

[Adam Carolla]

They're great.

[Jim Jeffries]

They don't do their Hit Girl Crush. Do they?

[Brian Bishop]

No, they do great on their own, but this is them doing Alicia Keys first hit, Falling and it's beautiful. There you go.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

They got shot. They're the real deal.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

One of my favorite groups. Amazing. And the nicest people in music.

[Jim Jeffries]

They kind of look like the country version of abba. And I need that as a compliment.

[Brian Bishop]

I know they're, you know, I'm in love with at least three of them. There's two guys, two girls that I'm not sure.

[Gina Grad]

Pretty, but they're great. If you're going to be country and abba, you just go by Kunpa. Right. I mean, that's just a more attractive name. Right?

[Jim Jeffries]

They should have been more creative.

[Gina Grad]

This is. Oh, is this little baby. Yeah, see, I don't know that, but Kunpa, that's, you know. Yeah, you can hang your hat on.

[Brian Bishop]

Fifth Harmony are like the hottest girl group around right now. And they do a tribute to Destiny's Child that kicks off the show. That is mega great. Kenny Loggins, who you love, and Pat Monahan do this sort of mashup of this is it yacht rock classic. And not a tool tune, but a yacht rock classic with calling all angels by Train. Pat Monaghan.

[Gina Grad]

Nice.

[Brian Bishop]

Zendaya, who is this huge Disney star that I've only become aware of because she came on the show with Mario doing the song called Let me Love youe that was 13 weeks at number one that I think a lot of because it was an R and B hit. To me it sounds like a brand new hit. Rachel Platten, who original, who also did that song, Fight Song, which the Democrats.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that's huge.

[Brian Bishop]

Right now she does another one of her songs with Leanne Womack, who does I hope you dance like a mashup thing. So that's a good show. And then the week after just. I'll stop talking about greatest hits. But there's a two hour live finale with Sheryl Crow.

[Adam Carolla]

Just talk about it.

[Gina Grad]

Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

Sheryl Crow, who's your friend, who maybe we'll call in with her.

[Gina Grad]

She's a delight.

[Brian Bishop]

New edition. Ariana Grande, Nelly and Richard Marks, who I have developed the man. What a funny, great guy.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, my God.

[Gina Grad]

All right, so that is Tonight. Tonight, abc. And then Thursday night's Tonight. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

We're either opening or closing for Hillary Clinton tonight on abc. We don't know. Donald Trump went an hour and a half. So we started like 45 minutes late.

[Gina Grad]

Great lead in, though. All right, I got some Music talk as well. Cause we went and saw The Jayhawks last night.

[Brian Bishop]

What a band.

[Gina Grad]

God, they're good. God, they're good. Gary Laris is so good. He's so quiet and humble and everything. He just would never expect it. But I took Dawson and Max Pata because they're the music guys in the crew, and I'm always interested in hearing what the guys with the background sonically have to say. I thought they're amazing. Dawson, sonic treat. It's nice to see five people who have complete control over their instruments and can stand together on their own. But when they come together, the whole is definitely greater than the sum of its parts. And. And they play everything so well. They're not afraid of a little controlled chaos on stage. There were times on stage where they're like. There was. There was some synthesizer action happening, and it's not something the Jayhawks are known for. When I think of the Jayhawks, I think of beautiful harmonies and great songs and. But they really. They pushed the boundaries last night, and it was a nice, small club, fond of theater, sounded great, and they just sounded so goddamn good. And so that was great. And I want to thank Gary for. Not our Gary, but Gary Loris for bringing us out there from the Jayhawks. And just, you know, here's the thing. When you're good. When you're good, like the Jayhawks, they played 17 songs. You didn't have to wait for your song because all of them are good. Because they're good. That's the deal. I hadn't heard. I really hadn't heard 12 of the 17 songs. And I still enjoyed those. Yeah, most of the 70, 80% of the set was completely new to me and loved every minute of it. So there was that. Now I was telling Gary. Gary from the Jayhawks about. Well, didn't. It was a little bit touchy because I wasn't sure Victoria Williams, who's a female singer songwriter, who I like, who no one else knows. David Wilder.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I heard you discussion, and it was kind of amusing to me because the background is a little bit. I was talking to Gina. It's a little bit like saying to McCartney, let's talk a little about Yoko. Except I believe that Mark Olsen, who was his sort of his. The lennon to his McCartney who. Or the McCartney to his Lennon, who left the band, came back, and then left again. I think he and Victoria are broken up, too. So there's a bunch of.

[Gina Grad]

I got the feeling that he wasn't keen on getting into it, but, you know, this is where my lack of preparation really pays off. Because I didn't know not to ask. I just knew that back in the day, one of the. Victoria Williams, who is, I don't know, sort of Sheryl Crow. If Sheryl Crow never took off, she started about the same time Sheryl Crow did. She was getting a lot of spins in the earlier mid-90s when Sheryl Crow started to.

[Brian Bishop]

On the trip from Sheryl Crow to Michelle Schacht, the halfway point would be Victoria Williams.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, but you guys don't know who she is, Dawson. And, you know, probably because of me bringing it up a couple of times, because she's just not. I knew it when you played it last night in the car, that I recognized her, but I would have never recognized the name. So what I was trying to explain is Victoria Williams, who was with one of the guys from the Jayhawks and then I think suffers from ms, I believe. It's got some very, very interesting sound. But one of the songs I like is Crazy Mary.

[Brian Bishop]

Great song.

[Gina Grad]

And you guys will know it because it was covered by Pearl Jams, right? And.

[Brian Bishop]

And on a benefit album for Victoria and for the disease.

[Gina Grad]

She has all the good stuff going on because. Well, first off, the song paints such a picture. She's talking about this crazy old woman who. Just by the side of her. By the side of the road. But she rhymes, spelling out the word loitering. She works into her lyrics spelling the word no loitering and rhymes it as she spells it out and then pays it off stupendously. And I just thought, I love that because I, you know, to me, black lives. But lyrics matter. That's where I come down. I'd be holding a sign called lyrics matter. I. I don't like when lover boy rhymes start with start. No.

[Brian Bishop]

And like the Jayhawks and like Victoria. That was this period in the, like, early 90s maybe, when, like, post Nirvana, when there was such indie cool stuff selling a lot, that people like Victoria would have a major label record deal and be able to make these big, beautiful records. This is beautiful.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, Dawson was screaming the whole time about, look at that, look at that. Wait, wait, you gotta. I'm sorry, Brian. We have to rewind 40 seconds because I talked right over the loitering part. Just go back 45 seconds. Turn it up. I think this is the beginning.

[Adam Carolla]

This is after the first verse.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, okay. Yeah, you can turn it up a little, but you can hear her. Hear her seamlessly spell out no loitering. And then listen what she says afterwards. Underneath that congregated quite a crowd. I Was. That's what I enjoy.

[Jim Jeffries]

Were you pissed the first couple.

[Gina Grad]

Now it's.

[Gary]

No.

[Gina Grad]

I pulled up and she hopped on the back of my Harley and her dad was pissed, but it's okay.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah. Was it frustrating, though, for the first couple times you heard it? Because there was a lot of spelling.

[Gina Grad]

Oh. I didn't even know what the hell was going on for the. I. I could barely do. Listen, I'm still confused by the basic. The Bay City Rollers. Slow it down. Slow it down. I know. It's a weekday. Yeah, I could have to get mad on that. Now listen. Turn it up. But listen how big this gets. And Dawson was going, no one will make an album like this anymore. This is when they had money. All right, everyone, enjoy. Victoria Williams. Here it is. Go out, baby. This song. This song is haunting because now you listen how it ends. Saw some skid marks off the road.

[Jim Jeffries]

Strings are amazing.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, so good. I'm gonna get angry in a minute. Take a bottle. Drink it. Can we play this on the radio? Sorry. Once in a blue goddamn mood. How about on my birthday? How about every fifth birthday for me?

[Brian Bishop]

But too many people are requesting the in excess songs that you like.

[Gina Grad]

We got a party here. That's what you want.

[Brian Bishop]

Adam. Can I praise you? Is that out loud? You may across the political divide say you have unusually. I'm not sure if this sounds exactly right. Feminine ears. You like a lot of women singers, which there's a lot of dudes who do not listen to very many women singers. You seem to like a lot of women.

[Gina Grad]

I think they're. I think they're shy. I think a lot of dudes don't. There's a weird thing, but it's kind of like watching chicks play basketball for a lot of dudes. I don't think women can rock or something. We're used to just seeing the guy with his shirt off and, you know, Robert plant circa 1973. Like, we're just used to that look. Or, you know, women would shirt off. Pete. Then I'm. Now I'm back. Or doing the windmill like Pete Townsend or something. Smashing, you know, guitars and amps or something. We just don't think they can rock. But they come at it from a little more subtle place and it makes up for it. I mean, they can rock. But what I'm saying is I much prefer. I'm not. I don't like Joan Jett because that's just a chick trying to act like a dude who's attempting to rock and failing horribly.

[Brian Bishop]

The coolest Chrissy Hine of all time.

[Gina Grad]

Chrissy Hine. God, do I love her.

[Jim Jeffries]

But this is like owning that feminine sound, in a way. And it's cool.

[Gina Grad]

Well, also, everybody. You don't have to be defined by everything in your life, you know, Like a guy's gotta drive an American muscle car. So people know. It's like, I see all these assholes driving around their motorcycles and they got a flat black helmet. And it's like, I saw a guy with a full flat back black helmet. It's 107 degrees outside. It's 2:30 in the afternoon. The guy's going through Glendale. His head must be broiling his brain. The juice in his brain must be just broiling in there because he's got to be a cool guy. But also there's an extra added measure. He can't be seen at night. Which is exactly what you want when you're on two wheels. So the reality is you should have a white shiny helmet because you can be seen at night. And your brain would stay drier. But that ass wipe's gotta make a statement. And the statement he makes to me is he's an ass wipe. And that's the way I feel about music. There is certain chicks I don't like. And I'm gonna put this on your list. Ooh. Cause somebody gave me. I gotta. I get it. Jeffries is here. All right, let me do a spot and then I'll play the song. Gary will get back to his console and feed me. Now. Somebody tweeted me the. Where have all the cowboys gone? Should be on your call. And I said, nah, I'm tooltuny on that almost. I'm not. I'm not willing to go out and throw that one under the bus.

[Adam Carolla]

I like that song.

[Gina Grad]

I don't want. I know. I don't like it.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not a here nor there. It's not enough to drive you nuts.

[Gina Grad]

But it's like, I got a lot. I mean, this is basically. It's my sort of. We got some white supremacists who are stockpiling canned beans and munitions. But then we got isis. And I gotta go after Real Threat. When I'm done with isis, then we'll.

[Adam Carolla]

Get back, we'll deal with the homegrown.

[Gina Grad]

We'll get the homegrown chick who wants to know where the cowboys went? Oh, this is it. All right. But Gary's doing something.

[Brian Bishop]

But I suddenly feel like I'm on a CW show.

[Gina Grad]

Or is it a fox? I need someone to deal with. Whatever Gary's dealing with so he can get back to his screen. I'll tell you guys. Okay, so what I would do, what I would have gone with instead of the cowboy song is Meredith Brooks. And I'm a. I'm a bitch, I'm a lover. I hate songs that are dripping, but who's. Who's. I am. Like, there's. There's versions of this for all groups, but. And dumb chicks get on board with this kind of stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

This is written by one of my best friends, so I'm gonna remove myself.

[Adam Carolla]

Tina, you like the song?

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, this is. This came out what year? Because. Okay, so I was in high school.

[Gina Grad]

Ish.

[Jim Jeffries]

I remember thinking, like, okay, I didn't know you could do a song that says, I'm this. I'm great. Oh, okay, good for.

[Gina Grad]

I don't know why it crosses into preachy.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, it's very preachy. But for a teenage girl, you're like, yeah, okay.

[Gina Grad]

I want to like it because it floats. Whoever wrote this song knows how to write songs.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a definite hook, my friend, Chili Pike.

[Gina Grad]

So you. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I got bad news for you, Adam. This is a tool tune. This song's pretty good.

[Gina Grad]

I don't like the message. What?

[Jim Jeffries]

I know all the chords. I have no idea till right now.

[Gina Grad]

Because I feel like it's. I. I feel like it's condescending, and it's. I, I, I. I think, like, when you sit down and you write a song, when Elvis Costello writes, what's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? That to me is just from the heart and flows. This is. I'm gonna write this song, actually.

[Brian Bishop]

Nick Low.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, Nick Low. Okay, good. Nick Lowe. And girls talk. They swear. They go back and forth a little bit. But this is a song that you sit down and you go, this is gonna. Here's what we're gonna get. All I'm saying is, could we hear little Victoria Williams just woven in?

[Jim Jeffries]

This was her first tsunami hit, right?

[Gina Grad]

Not for her, but the writer friend wrote it one. And this will get dumb chicks hooked.

[Brian Bishop]

She also wrote one of my favorite pretender songs called Human, which is brilliant. And she wrote what a girl wants for Christina Aguilera.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, wow. Sounds exactly like this song.

[Jim Jeffries]

You know what song? Who I always thought sang, and she.

[Brian Bishop]

Got a new book out.

[Jim Jeffries]

I always thought Meredith. What's her name? Meredith Brooks. Yeah, I always thought she sang Black Velvet.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a lot.

[Jim Jeffries]

Where do you stand on that?

[Gina Grad]

Because I love that. Now, listen, you're singing either about cake or cock. I'm in. I don't know what the metaphor is. Or possibly cake on cock velvet Elvis.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, my God.

[Gina Grad]

Don't ruin it for me.

[Brian Bishop]

She was for a period sleeping with Robert Point and it made me like him less. I hated this song so much. I like Zeppelin less.

[Adam Carolla]

This was fantastic.

[Jim Jeffries]

And she had like 108 degree fever when she made this video.

[Gina Grad]

I think I got a palate cleanser for you if you want it.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, gotta keep this.

[Gina Grad]

All right, hold on. Jim Jeffries is here. So we got. I'll tell you what I want to do. Let's hear a little clip from Jim's standup special. I'll give you the name of that, by the way. Freedom. Like freedom, but free. And then the word dumb on Netflix, available right now. I watched it last night. I loved it. Play a quick little clip.

[Gary]

I hate Muslims. I didn't finish me sentence. I hate Muslims. I hate Christians. I hate the Amish. I hate Buddhists. I hate the snake people. I hate Jews. I don't know who I've missed here. Sikhs. I hate all. Our fight in this world is not against Islam. It's against religion. Be very clear about this because I can tell you this for sure. No one's head has ever been cut off in the name of atheism. No one has ever cut into human flesh and looked down camera and gone in the name of nothing.

[Gina Grad]

I do love that. Jim Jeffries here. So we'll break a little early first, I'll tell you.

[Brian Bishop]

And Adam, you should also know he's a singer. I heard him sing the other night at a comedy pilot for Comedy Central. He was like a trained singer in addition to his other amazing talents.

[Gina Grad]

Well, we'll have to get into that first on it. Went to university with Hugh Jackman. Lots of bits and pieces popping up here.

[Jim Jeffries]

Singing.

[Gina Grad]

All right on it. Yeah. Peak performance. Love this stuff. They got the Warrior bar. We have that. It's the buffalo meat. Get them, keep them in your car. That's the whole thing. Put it in the console there. The MCT oil. I'm now apt to just take a hit off the bottle. I don't even. I used to stir it into my coffee and this, that and the other. But I swear to you, if you're walking around and it's like the middle of the day and you're feeling a little peckish and you're getting close to going for those fries, I just take a hit off the bottle. Just get that. Satiating oil. Doesn't taste like anything. It just Feels like taking a shot of oil like your pickup truck. And 100% pure coconut oil. Quick Healthy energy helps weight management. Asks Vinny Tortorich loves all this stuff. And again, you bring this stuff up. You bring anything up in front of Vinnie or Dr. Drew, and I can see their head shaking. They basically treat all supplements like they do at the Captain's Lounge when they've denied my black card. And then I start reaching for my wallet and go, hold. And they're like, yeah, yeah. They're already shaking their heads. They're already saying no before I even get whatever I'm getting out of my wallet. That's what Drew and Vinny do with all supplements. But they love all this onnit stuff. And they love the MCT oil, especially Alpha Brain. That's great as well. Try them all. Go to onnit.comadam Get 10% off. That's onnit.comadam. get 10% off. All right, Jim Jeffries is here. Is it Gina?

[Gary]

Dan.

[Gina Grad]

Van. Okay, real quick. Just because everyone's been tweeting me this, and Gina needs to hear the Dan Bands version of total clips of the.

[Jim Jeffries]

Heart it can only.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Hey. Hey, Ira. Sorry there. Sorry, brother. Yeah, man. We're gonna play that for Gina right now, okay? Yeah, please do.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely.

[Gina Grad]

And my vote for worst song ever Rebuilt this City. Everybody picks that one. But I feel like that's the 80s version of MacArthur park, which I love. I love MacArthur Park. Not the 80s version. No, I love MacArthur park because it's a. First off, it's a novelty song, and it's a crazy song, and it has a huge arrangement to it, but it's just. It's sort of. Here's what I'm saying. We Built this City. I look at is to what bad sitcoms were from the seventies is hello, Larry. People just go like, hey, we may be bad. We're no hello, Larry. It was just a sitcom with the guy from MASH that ran a season and a half that just became kind of default.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Ishtar.

[Jim Jeffries]

The punchline.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it was Ishtar became that. Hello, Larry. There was also. We have to figure out the one fat girl and the one fat dude to go with the fat thing. Dom DeLuise used to be like the fat and shorthand. Yeah. And I feel like We Built this City, while not a good song, not the worst. It becomes a go to song. MacArthur park is an awesome song, but you have to understand what it is. It's not.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's not that.

[Gina Grad]

It's not Meant to be. Yeah. It's meant to be something completely different.

[Brian Bishop]

The amazing thing about We Built the City, it's the best. It's. Bernie Taupin wrote that lyric, and that's the worst lyric ever written by a guy who's good. And it's also, if you listen to it, it is the height of bad record production in terms of. It couldn't be more dated.

[Gina Grad]

It's not great. I'm not a big fan. But.

[Jim Jeffries]

But wait a second. You're a big lyric guy and you're still okay with MacArthur Park?

[Gina Grad]

MacArthur park is a French farce. It's a farce. It's. It's a farce. It's like a whimsical song. Like, it's. It's supposed to be an insane song. If you're taking it seriously, you're being duped.

[Jim Jeffries]

I just don't. Okay, It's.

[Gina Grad]

Someone left the cake out in the rain.

[Jim Jeffries]

It took so long to bake it.

[Gina Grad]

And then it goes into this whole big theatrical thing. It's way too involved to be a crap song.

[Brian Bishop]

But you're talking to the Paris version. You're not talking the Donna Summer disco.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, that's a smart version.

[Brian Bishop]

Those are two different things.

[Gina Grad]

I'll stand next to. I'll stand next to either one of them but the Richard Harris one. Just from pure production. They must add up Jimmy Web piece orchestra to do that song. All right, Dan. Band. Sorry. Every night now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all my years have gone by.

[Adam Carolla]

Still just as good.

[Jim Jeffries]

His voice is better.

[Gina Grad]

Then I get a little bit terrified. I see the look in your eyes Every now and then I fall apart. You're walking. Every now and then I fall apart. And I need you now tonight.

[Jim Jeffries]

This a hundred times better.

[Gina Grad]

That's why we're playing it for you. And if you only hold me tight. We'll be holding on forever. And we'll only be making it right. Cuz we'll never be wrong together we can take it till the end of the line. Your love is like a shadow on me all the time. I don't know what to do. I'm always in the dark Living in a powder cake and giving all stars. I really need you tonight. Forever's going to stop tonight.

[Brian Bishop]

Adam. You said it the other day. It's a Jim Steinman song. That would have been from For Meatloaf.

[Gina Grad]

No, as I was thinking, it sounds like Meatloaf. It. No, I. He brought it up. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

No. And Dan.

[Gina Grad]

Correcting. But I Was going, it's a meatloaf song. And then you. Out of your mouth came, this is a. Sounds like meatloaf.

[Brian Bishop]

And he channeled Dan. Ben channeled his inner meatloaf. It's brilliant.

[Gina Grad]

All right, so now we get The Dan Band. MacArthur Park. Someone lift a kick out in the rain.

[Adam Carolla]

Got some common ground.

[Jim Jeffries]

No, his. Honestly, I really do enjoy his voice more, and I like the. The. The humor of it. And I really.

[Gina Grad]

You just. You got to just pack. Just. Just pack this one. Exactly.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's not a big Bonnie Tyler fan.

[Brian Bishop]

I think I should leave. And Jim Jefferson rule on which is the better song.

[Gina Grad]

I think. I think that's good as well. And let me just blow through this last call, and then we'll get Jim in here. Ken. Hey, Adam, it's Ken. Hey, Ken, you there? Yeah. Hey, did you see my question or. Oh, hey, by the way, I'm the guy that gave you a water pack at one of your races in fun. Ken, you were the guy. I'm the old dude. Yeah. Motorcycle guy. She laughs when I play her, though. I think you were talking to somebody about it, but. All right, I'm gonna do two things real quick. I'll explain what the. That pack was real fast. And then I'm going or fired. I did. What show did I do that on? Carcast. It must have been. Yeah, you did. Yeah. Yeah. Question. Should parents write their kids out of the will if the kids disown them? Absolutely fucking lutely.

[Jim Jeffries]

No hesitation.

[Gina Grad]

All right, settle that. We can find a couple pictures. I'm going to try to do this in 90 seconds. Seconds. I raced around Father's Day in Fontana and Paul Newman's Camaro at a race at Fontana Raceway, and it happened to be 114 degrees in Fontana. The reason it was 114 degrees is it's Fontana. It's the middle of the desert, but it's still unseasonably hot. And Fontana Raceway is one big sea of asphalt. Nothing but asphalt. And it just heats up, and it just. It just. It just sizzles. It just sizzles and radiates. I did the qualifying on Saturday. It was, you know, 104 degrees. I got into the car. I sat in the grid. I didn't have an umbrella or any shade. And I was broiling with the fire suit. You wear long johns. You wear a hood over your head. You wear a full face helmet. You wear thick gloves and everything. And I was broiling and lap two into the race. The iPhone, which has a lap counter speed app on it shut down because it got too hot. But you have to understand, it was not in direct sunlight. It was sitting next to me on the console or on the transmission hump. There was no sun, wasn't on the dashboard. It was next to me with no sunlight hitting it. And the car possesses no windows, no side windows, and the car goes 140 miles an hour. So it's a lot of air passing through that. But still yet by lap three, it had shut itself down. It was that broiling in the car. And Kentucky from Arizona, as they saw me getting out of the car and staggering around looking for anything that was made of liquid. I think I found like aloe vera cactus and tore it open, started rubbing it all over my face and sucking on a gourd or something. He just came up and he said, hey man, I got this ice pack for you. And I said, how's this work? And he said, put it on the small, right on the back of your neck. From the back of your neck. When you pull up your hoodie, you know, your, your hood and your hide, whatever, and you put your fire suit on, you do the thing, put this thing right on the back of your neck. You put your HANS device, head and neck restraint system on there. Cook it all up. You have this cold pack, this special cold pack. You put it right on there. It'll keep you cool the whole race by having this freezing cold thing right where your brain hits your spine. And I said, thank you very much, Ken from Tempe. And I took the pack home on Saturday. I went and put it in the freezer. And then I did what I do because I'm leaving for the track at 6am in the morning the next day. And I'm not going to the freezer first because I don't have the, hey, where's my fudgicles? I just go to the track. My thing is like, where's my equipment? Or where's the whatever? But I put a note, like I put a note out on my keys and stuff, like, freezer, pack, pack, freezer. And then I got a cooler out so I could keep the frozen thing frozen. We had a cooler at the track, got the cooler out, got the thing out, did it Sunday morning, brought it to the track, put it in the cooler, did a big thing. Like it's gotta be transferred quickly from my cooler into this cooler, keep it under ice. And then when I get dressed. But I also made the decree that this time I'm not sitting in the car for 30 minutes, broiling before we start the race out in the sun. I'm going to grid. I was qualified second. I'm going to grid when it's time to grid. Anyway, you all know where this is going. They called everyone out early. Some race got one of the heats got canceled. Everyone went out early but me. I was now at the point where I was scrambling to get in my car and to get dressed and get the car started. Everyone was running around, turned the power on and everything. Ice pack remained in the cooler. I then pulled out of the track after everyone had taken off and went from second to last place and then fried in the car again. But Ken, thanks though. I tried. All right, Jim Jeffries out there. He'll be in. Oh, and David Wilde registers tonight.

[Brian Bishop]

9:00 o'clock ABC and next Thursday night for big two hour finale and Jim Jeffries the next.

[Gina Grad]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Hi, guys. Oh, Darren from somewhere in Canada. I do a perfect Arianna Huffington impersonation. So I thought I'd try it out on you. Hello, Adam, this is Arianna Huffington.

[Gary]

I would like to be a guest.

[Gina Grad]

On Take a Knee.

[Gary]

I wrote a book about achieving balance in your life and the first step.

[Gina Grad]

To achieving balance is to sell a.

[Gary]

Company for $800 million.

[Gina Grad]

Then just relax.

[Gary]

That's balance.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, bye. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Jim Jeffries. We'll talk about the new special Very funny free dumb available on Netflix as we speak. First, quick Podcast one. A little premium here. We get exclusive interviews like me and Tom Arnold are all our live shows. You just sign up over at podcast one. Just 14 cents a day. Get a couple of years. They'll give you a $50 gift certificate. So it's like getting one year free podcastone.com premium. Get all the good stuff. Jim Jeffries, man, always good to see you.

[Gary]

Thanks for having me.

[Gina Grad]

Great job on the special. Thanks. I was watching it last night and I was trying to break down sort of as a comedian, how the process goes for you. For everyone else, I guess it's just go to smaller clubs, work out material, build a up an hour. You're so prolific though. How do you do that?

[Gary]

What they do is everyone around LA goes, I come and do my gigs. It's a great place to try out stuff. And then I'm like, what? Where the fucking industry is?

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Gary]

I do it in Kansas. Halfway through I'll be doing a two hour show and then I'll wedge in 30 minutes of new Material in the middle. And the people of Kansas won't even notice. I'm not gonna do it around here.

[Gina Grad]

Do you record it?

[Gary]

No, I don't record it or write it down. I just figure if I don't remember it, it can't be that good. You know, like if. If I'm not gonna remember it.

[Adam Carolla]

I've heard it's a good philosophy.

[Gina Grad]

I've heard that before, but I've forgotten about a lot of funny jokes.

[Gary]

How do you know? How do you know? All right. Because people remind me.

[Gina Grad]

No, because people remind me. I've. I've had. Sometimes people tell me something and I go, oh, that's good. That's a good one. And then I realized the reason I'm reacting that way is because it's mine.

[Gary]

Actually, I have forgotten a lot of those jokes. But I. I look at it this way. People always remind you. Or you'll watch something and it keeps it fresh as well.

[Gina Grad]

Do you have a set list and will you shake it up?

[Gary]

Like, I have a beginning and end and a middle. And then the things that happen in between those, I don't really know.

[Gina Grad]

So when you're doing a special, usually do two, right?

[Gary]

I record two in one night.

[Gina Grad]

Shoot. That's the way to do it. Like, keep the same shirt and go out and do it. Do a second show. And you've now reached a place where you kind of get to say what you want because you're you. Which is like, it's always my sort of Snoop Dogg with the weed, which is. He gets to smoke weed anywhere he wants. And we're sort of disappointed if he's not smoking weed.

[Gary]

I gotta say cunt a lot. And I gotta talk about guns now. That's like the requirement as I walk into a place.

[Gina Grad]

So there's lots of Bill Cosby starts off with a whole Bill Cosby right Story and everything.

[Gary]

It's funny cause Netflix is very good creative freedom or whatever. So they don't really get involved in the editing, but they make suggestions and you can take them or whatever. But they sent me an email that was like this. Hey, love the special. Can't wait to air it. The first 15 minutes seems to drag a bit. What? The Bill Cosby rape routine. But they never actually said that. They went, maybe we could start, like sort of 12 minutes in. That would be a good spot.

[Gina Grad]

So you're doing. You're doing. When you're shooting, you're doing 90 minutes plus, right?

[Gary]

Yeah, I got it down to about. I think the special is 86, 87 minutes. And it was cut down from 95 minutes or something like that.

[Gina Grad]

Right. So it's like an hour special. Isn't an hour special. It's.

[Gary]

Whatever it is, it is on hbo. But the great thing about Netflix is you can do it as long as you want. And sometimes people say people will turn off after 40 minutes. I don't give a fuck. Watch it in two sections or don't watch the whole thing. If I bore you, it doesn't matter.

[Gina Grad]

The thing about Jim Jefferies and a lot of comedians is it's not like you're watching an episode of, let's say, my favorite show, Blue Bloods. No, I'm just kidding. That just happens to be one of those shows that's on.

[Adam Carolla]

You think it's on, you're not sure.

[Gina Grad]

If it's on or off. Every once in a while I see a commercial, all new, Blue Bloods, Blue Bloods.

[Gary]

I haven't been paying attention.

[Gina Grad]

That's the point. Tom Selleck is dying his mustache.

[Gary]

It's that one he's hanging out with all the.

[Gina Grad]

It's him just combing just for men through his mustache. That's all it is. But either way, it feels like a show that if this is an alternate universe and nothing really exists and it's just here, sort of Matrix style to. I didn't see it.

[Adam Carolla]

So says someone who hasn't seen the Matrix to make.

[Gina Grad]

To make our society's in place.

[Jim Jeffries]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

Then there's a show with Tom Selleck called Blue Bloods that I will never see. That'll be on cbs.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a remarkably accurate description of the Matrix for someone who hasn't seen it.

[Gina Grad]

Never seen it. But listen, you don't. You really don't need to see the wizard of Oz either. Eventually you live in our society, it'll get in the zeitgeist.

[Gary]

Matrix was filmed in Sydney. Indeed, that's a small tidbit of information because it's a futuristic looking city.

[Gina Grad]

But what you can do with Jim is watch half walk away and come back, watch the other half. That's what I did. Because it's not like there's some story arc or something that's going through.

[Gary]

You can always interview before you do a new tour and like go, so what's this tour all about? And it's like, just. It doesn't connect things I've thought up since the last tour. And I can give you some weak theme through the thing if you want. There's nothing more manipulative than that comic that, like, tells, like, a story about their dad and then does some material in between, then has another story and go. And that's why I'll always love my dad. And you're like, what the fuck? Come on. A second ago you were talking about some nurse, you know, like, fuck Billy Crystal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's true. He did do a thing of it.

[Jim Jeffries]

His dad died 72 Sundays or whatever.

[Gina Grad]

Just every. You lost me at my dad because of the horrible relationship I have and have had with my dad. Every time some blowhard gets up there and goes, every opening day for the Mets since 1963, all the way until 1992, my father would take off work, pull me out of school. I fucking hate my dad. God, do I hate my dad. First off, he had a job to take off of number two right there.

[Adam Carolla]

He's gonna be beat.

[Gina Grad]

Pull you out of school, and he'd take you to opening day.

[Gary]

That's how I feel about the fucking Cats in the Cradle song. That does my head in, that song. It's like, I was at work when he learned to walk, and it's like, yeah, good man.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Providing there's some deadbeat fucking dads who can see everything.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's right.

[Gary]

I'm on the road all the time and I get phone calls. Oh, he just said this new thing, and I'm like. And then it's like, my ring my son up later on, I'm dying, and he won't visit me because he's working Good. I made a responsible fucking human being who's taking care of their family as well.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, there's a lot of dads that are home at noon on a Tuesday. Just lower beer can and can watch their kid walk for the first time.

[Gary]

No stage during that song, does that guy have an affair. Does he beat the mother up? Is he a drunk? He's just working a bit too much. Yeah, fuck it, kid.

[Gina Grad]

Just like me. Yeah. So we were talking off there about Phil Collins, and Jim had some thoughts on Phil Collins.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, we have the same, least favorite Phil Collins.

[Gary]

I'm not a Phil Collins hater, but I do hate Another Day in Paradise. It's just down the street, there's someone, you. And he's always telling you what you're up to, and you ignore them. You pretend that they're not there and all that type of stuff. And it turns out, didn't he move to, like, Switzerland to dodge taxes so he didn't have to pay fucking taxes anymore?

[Gina Grad]

I'm assuming everybody who's Rich and who is from England moves somewhere at some point. Point. To try to avoid paying taxes.

[Gary]

Not anymore.

[Gina Grad]

Well, not anymore.

[Gary]

I was just there for two weeks. This is the weird thing because all the races that are like, get these people out of our country. Get them out of our country. Right. They're not thinking about all the people they have to get back now because all those English people that move to the south of France and to Spain, that's not England's best group of people. That's like retired football hooligans who. I live in Majorca for fucking nothing.

[Gina Grad]

Right, Right.

[Gary]

They're gonna lose Rosita, the nurse who takes care of the oldie and the Polish guy who builds you a kitchen at a reasonable price. And they're getting back fucking Cunty McCanderson from Spain. It's going to be a wonderful little adventure. We've got the same amount of people from the European Union who have gone into Britain as the same man has left. It's one for one. It's one for one. You just swap them over the.

[Gina Grad]

I think in this, the 60s or the 70s. I think they jacked it way up in the early 70s or late 60s. And I think that's why, like taxes. Yeah. So, yeah, if you were a beetle or something, you had to, you had to go live somewhere else.

[Gary]

Super tax for the Beatles. That was a. That was a government thing. The government just went. If you're earning a lot, they just charge them like 95%.

[Adam Carolla]

One for you, 19 for me.

[Gary]

Yeah, yeah. It's not good. Not good. Yeah. I'd be angry if I was a Beatle tax man.

[Gina Grad]

Well, yeah, I didn't, I didn't know it was literally that.

[Gary]

No, no, it's in the 90s. Yeah. They really fucking screwed them.

[Gina Grad]

But unfortunately, because there's inventions called airplanes and boats and things like that and people have things, inventions called legs. They 10 to just get on these things and go somewhere else.

[Adam Carolla]

Tax exiles.

[Gina Grad]

And the thing that nobody really gets first off, I think everyone thinks people are born to be patriotic. We are, but to ourselves first. Like we're our own country. I planted my flag in my own asshole in the name of Spain. We're loyal to us, number one. And then you get to the United States or California or Britain or wherever your town or wherever your place. But first it's all. It's about me. And then the other thing that they never really factor is when you're really rich, there's a nice part of everywhere to go to. So you may think well, you don't get the English countryside or wherever. You don't get whatever you got here in Old Mary Old or whatever your hometown of whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a place called San Tropez.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. And there's a San Francisco and there's an everywhere in between. And I can just go live there because I'm rich and I'll live in the nicest part of town.

[Gary]

No place is a utopia. Like, if I want to spend a day in a place, I want to have a beach where I'm going to have a coconut. But not a lot of comedy clubs there. Get the work done, you know what I mean? So it's all a balance in.

[Gina Grad]

It is. So we say that Phil moved to avoid taxes. I'm looking preachy about people in the street with their hand out and walking past them.

[Gary]

He doesn't get preachy about them. He gets preachy about the people who don't give.

[Gina Grad]

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right.

[Gary]

I'd like another song where? Look at you, lazy cunt. You haven't got a job.

[Jim Jeffries]

From the other point of view, how.

[Gary]

Can you afford a dog?

[Gina Grad]

I'd be called I'm gonna light your refrigerator box on fire.

[Gary]

Yeah, well, a lot of your sleep. A lot of the beggars in Britain, they sit next to the ATM machines, which I always think is a real gutsy. A real gutsy move. Cause they know you get. And then they go change. And you feel like going, that was notes. I got notes out of this.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gary]

Coin machine.

[Gina Grad]

If you want change, I'll take a 20. It's basically. Yeah, it's kind of the high rollers version of pigeons at the McDonald's at the outdoor tables, looking for a fry or half a McNugget. Like, they're going to where's the big score? They're going where the score is. I have. I've had a couple of baggers. It's weird. It's like with the price of everything going up, the beggars have adjusted for inflation as well. Well, I mean, if you really look at it this way, the house that I grew up in in the San Fernando Valley was bought for $10,000. And my grandma's house was bought for like 12,000. And my dad's house was bought in like the 70s for like $14,000 or whatever. And then the house, my mom's house was then bought for like 600k like 2 years ago and bulldozed so they could build. So there is some inflation. So whoever's rattling that can, asking For a dime, a nickel or a quarter. Now wants five bucks. I was going to a place in Beverly Hills once. The dude came up to the window and he was like, what do you got, man? And I was like, all right. And I reach into my console of my car, and I think I gave him 10 bucks. I was like. And he was like, hey, man, that's it. You can't do any better than that. And I said, of course I could do better than that. I could give you $1 million. But no, not you. Your fecal matter in your ear and you're not getting.

[Jim Jeffries]

So you identified with him.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I was like, what the are you talking about? Like, of course I could do better. I could sell the car I'm sitting in and come back tomorrow with swap places.

[Gary]

Yeah, you can get the car, let.

[Gina Grad]

You violate me anally. That'd be better. Oh, my wife's in the car. Her like, yes, we can do better.

[Jim Jeffries]

But 10 bucks is very generous.

[Adam Carolla]

Choose not to.

[Gary]

Yeah, 10 bucks.

[Gina Grad]

What my stepdad used to give me for my birthday once a year.

[Gary]

You did the math? My grandmother gave me 10. Yeah, I got $10 every year for my grandmother. Wait for it. Australian currency. That's $7 of your money. So I don't want to hear any moaning.

[Gina Grad]

I don't want to be a one upper. But Vince and Pat Bruno, my cousins who are like more aunt, uncle, age out here for my birthday every year would send me a card. And when you open the card, they had slots, and the slots held a quarter. And so when you were nine, you would get nine quarters. And here's the saddest part of that story. That was a big deal at the Corolla house. Oh, wait, one year I'll be 27, and I'll get 27 quarters from Pat Bruno.

[Gary]

I play a game with my nieces. It's kind of cruel, really. But what I do is not so much now because, like, 18 and stuff, but when they were like, 12, I used to bring them into a room. I used to go, all right, I've missed out a couple of birthdays and a couple of Christmases. Now I've written down a monetary amount that I'm happy to give. Now you have to guess the amount. The amount that you guess you can have. Unless you go over the amount I've written down, then you get nothing.

[Jim Jeffries]

Price is right, gifts.

[Gary]

And I run it high, like 300, because they don't want to go 400. And if they go 200, I go, there's your 200 but could have had three. Could have had three. But you undercut yourself.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, four hundred and seventy seven quarters. Just texted me the card would weigh metric tons.

[Adam Carolla]

She said, gosh, way too much in shipping.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. They also are the ones that got me the decorative popcorn tin.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, the toilet.

[Gina Grad]

Well, it turned into a toilet later. But when I graduated high school, I got a tin of popcorn that was broken off into thirds. It had the caramel corn, the cheese corn, and the peppercorn. As an 18 year old who graduated, some people get cars, but I got popcorn. And once again, over the moon about it. That's the saddest part of all this. The special. I think we have another clip. I'll tell you what. Let me take care of a little business and then we'll hear another lovely clip from Jim Jeffries special on Netflix as we speak. And there's other. You gotta look for it. I was looking for it. Freedom. Which is I was punching in your name and it was kicking me over to your 2014 special. So you have to make sure the year is 2016 or watch the other one again. I don't know.

[Gary]

I didn't know it was hard to find.

[Gina Grad]

True Car. No, I'm semi dyslexic or something. I think I fell between the cracks. I was warehoused. Whatever it is, I'm stupid. But I just kept looking. And I was going to the wrong year. But then I found it. TrueCar, baby. Mmm. Buy used, buy new. Buy True Car. Use them, baby. They have certified dealers all over the country, so they're live. And nationwide is ZZ Top, let's say anyway you can find out just what other people paid for the exact same car. Apples to apples, lock in your price and go pick a it up. Chris Laksamana did that over here. Worked nicely for him. TrueCar users save an average of 3279 bucks off MSRP. Buy new, buy used, go TrueCar. Truecar.com or use the app. Use the app. You're hanging around just trying to think about getting a new car. The lease is coming up in a few months. Just start browsing, start checking it out. True Car, baby. All right. Oh, we got some Cosby. Let's listen to a little Cosby.

[Gary]

Bill Cosby. Now, I don't know if you get all the news here in Nashville, but I may say something that's very upsetting to many of you. It turns out that Bill Cosby is a rapist. I know. I always used to watch him on the telly as a kid. And I always used to think to myself, ah, I bet he doesn't rape. I've been wrong before and I'll be wrong again. Cause it turns out that his favorite thing is rape. He fucking loves raping people. Now think about your favorite thing. You might be into sports, gardening, golf. I don't know what the fuck you're into. Now. Think about it. Now replace it with rape. And that's how Bill Cosby feels all day, every day. Now, I did this. I wrote a very horrible review of the show. And I. I hate that people forget that I'm a comedian and that I'm joking. But I have to do this little public service announcement before I do this routine. I believe in many ways rape is wrong. I believe, when possible, you should always avoid raping people. If you leave the show this evening and you're thinking about raping someone, Jim Jeffries says no. All right, there we go.

[Gina Grad]

Jim Jeffries, freedom.

[Gary]

Lot of rape.

[Gina Grad]

I was. It struck me as I was listening to that all the years I sat next to Dr. Drew. So his favorite joke I used to make, reoccurring joke. And his least favorite reoccurring joke was, always, was two rape jokes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

And it's weird because you're on the rape train or are you off the rape train?

[Gary]

One was about women and one was about men.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Which is a doctor.

[Gina Grad]

They were both basically this. They're both basically just straightforward rape jokes.

[Jim Jeffries]

But one he really enjoyed, he didn't.

[Gary]

One he was getting. One he was taking.

[Gina Grad]

One he didn't enjoy. And the other one, he couldn't stop laughing. As I got. As I would get started on it, they were sort of long form, but. Well, actually, one is we had Will Arnett in. And I don't know if we can ever find this or if it even exists. It might exist somewhere, Gary, but it was. There was a show, and the show at the time is like one of those CBS shows. It was called Hat and Hack, Drove a Cab. But he also solved crime, you know, and Will Arnett was doing his voiceover thing. And they do. I grew up watching those 70s TV shows when they'd go like this week on Mannix, in order to catch an international jewel thief, Mannix is going to have to become an international jewel thief. They do it like the terrorists, you know, whatever. It was always in order to catch a murder, he's going to have to become, you know, a biker. He's going to whatever it was. And I just had this thing where I'd go this week on Hack. In order to catch an international jewel thief, Hack is gonna have to become a rapist.

[Adam Carolla]

I have viewed his clips. They're pretty low quality. I don't think they'll get the idea.

[Gina Grad]

And Drew would always go, what's funny about that? I'd always go, this week on hack, and they always get, in order to catch a counterfeiter, Hack is gonna have to become a rapist. This week on hack to catch a terrorist, Hack will have to become a rapist. Drew, because Drew has no sense of humor, would always go like, I don't get why that's funny. That's like.

[Jim Jeffries]

Because you expect him to say element of surprise.

[Gina Grad]

You expect him to say a terrorist or an international jewel thief. But he keeps. This week on hack. To catch an international jewel thief, Hack is going to have to become a rapist.

[Gary]

See, it's funny. Even if you go, to catch a rapist, he has to become a rapist. It's still funny, but it's extra funny if you mix up the crimes.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, that's what I thought.

[Gary]

To catch a jaywalker.

[Gina Grad]

Well, Jim, you got a good voice. Maybe you could lay down this week on Hack for us. Let's see. Give it a shot.

[Gary]

This week on Hack to catch a bank robber, he has to become a rapist. There you go.

[Gina Grad]

No, but I like your theme of jaywalker or bike thief. That's pretty low.

[Gary]

Give a penny, take a penny, catch a shit shoplifter. Hack will have to become a rapist.

[Gina Grad]

So Drew would get argumentative and defensive and go, that's not funny. And I would go, it is funny. And then it becomes weird when there's only two of you because.

[Gary]

And what's his favorite rape joke then?

[Gina Grad]

His favorite rape joke?

[Jim Jeffries]

He has a lot of favorites.

[Gary]

Yeah, you know, like, he's number one.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gary]

Like, I don't want the top five. We haven't got all day. Top five.

[Gina Grad]

His favorite rape joke was a sort of long winded jag. I would go on with.

[Gary]

To rehab it. A drug addict. Dr. Drew will have to become a rape rapist.

[Gina Grad]

I forgot about Will Arnett. Is there any. Does he have any more of those? In order to reach these kids, Hack will have to become a rapist. All right, so I. The other rape related joke that he did love is I would go, listen, Drew, do not make any mistake. Rape is not a crime of sex. It's not a sexual crime. It's about power. It's about control. It's not a sex. It is not a sexual crime. It's A crime about power. It's no different than if I broke into a liquor store, grabbed the guy behind the counter, pistol, whipped him, and then took the money after the cash register came and then ran out of the store. Or no different than if I came behind you on the street and hit you and I came and then took your wallet. Or let's just say you're at the park with your kids and I just came up and grabbed your wife's purse, Came in it, and then grabbed your wife's purse. And I'd say it is not a bad case. It's a violent. It's a violent crime about power. That the only sexual component is the part where you come. It's just where you come. But that's the only part that makes it a sexual. And he, to his great credit, would laugh hysterically because I would keep going through all these crazy crime scenarios where I would just then ejaculate in the middle of them and then explain. But it's no different. It's just the same. It's just the same. Yeah. So he's got a lot of range. I'd say Drew does in the rape humor department.

[Gary]

I'm gonna call him up as soon as we're off here and just text him some rape jokes throughout the day.

[Gina Grad]

Shall he does that.

[Jim Jeffries]

See if you get a smiley face or a frown.

[Gary]

Susan would dig a rape joke more than Drew. Drew.

[Gina Grad]

She'd tune out halfway into the setup. That's Drew's wife. But, yes, if you could get that. Yes, she would. She's fun that way. Yeah. And by the way, I know Drew has done your show a lot. Where are we?

[Gary]

I do his show when you're away. Oh, no. He was on an episode of Legit. But I've replaced you when you've been away on his show.

[Gina Grad]

Huh?

[Gary]

It's always weird that they're giving medical advice to people. I always find that odd. Don't you ever do that? People ring into that show, and I'm having real problems with my girlfriend, and all of a sudden, I've been on the show for about five minutes, and I go, and what's the problem?

[Adam Carolla]

Here's what she's going to do.

[Gary]

Yeah. And I've got no fucking. I haven't had a successful relationship in my entire life. And I'm telling people, you need to treat her with more respect. Maybe take her out to dinner and make her feel like a woman again.

[Gina Grad]

I. I just have these weird moments where I was just walking off my porch and into my office the other day and just walking in, and it just. In my head, I just heard, it's the cremasteric response. And I was like, why do I even know that? Because I've been sitting next. I sat next to Drew so many times. I know what the cremasteric response is. The cremasteric response, I believe. And you can look this up, Gary. It's when you're walking into cold water at the beach and your balls lift up into your belly. Cremasteric response, like landing gear in an airplane. Like, just set up.

[Gary]

Why do medical turns out to be so difficult? I've got psoriasis. I've got another cream for something else. I always pick up the two tubes. I never know what they're for. And I have to Google mox or cotton lot and whatever. Why doesn't you say psoriasis cream? Why didn't someone just name it that?

[Gina Grad]

I don't know, other than maybe they're worried about your new gal you're dating walking into the thing and tripping over a tub that says herpes on the side.

[Gary]

Herpes ointment. But I'd be happy with herpes ointment. She's gonna Google it anyway.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I guess she is gonna Google it, but I think maybe it's the tell part, like. Or look, there is an element.

[Gary]

Why is Cialis is not called erection tablet?

[Gina Grad]

Here's what I think. I believe that lawyers and physicians have their own complicated language in order to make us continue to pay them very high prices for everything. I believe if lawyers just spoke in English, it'd be hard to justify 400, 500,000 bucks an hour if they're just doing. But they speak really how much money. They do their own stuff and they'll do their own. They have their own little codes and they have their own little abbreviations and all that kind of stuff. And it makes you immediately just go, I guess they gotta handle this right. All right. Did you find it? I think it's all. Tell us what it is.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, I can read the exact thing here, but it's what you said. It's the cremasteric reflex is a superficial reflex observed in human males. The reflex is elicited by lightly stroking or poking the superior and medial part of the thigh. That's the inner thigh.

[Gary]

Whoa, whoa, slow down, doc. The superior bit of the thigh. What does that mean?

[Gina Grad]

There's also pretty There also pretty popular move, which back in the day, which was retrograde ejaculation, which was right at the Time when right at the point of ejaculation, you'd push in like on your taint and you basically become a smokeless cigarette. Like the stuff would go back into you or something.

[Gary]

Why would you want to do that?

[Jim Jeffries]

Is that true?

[Gina Grad]

I can think of a couple scenarios.

[Gary]

Yeah, but it's easy to pull out.

[Gina Grad]

No, I'm.

[Gary]

You see, you can't pull out. I can pull out. I've only left it in once in me life and I haven't.

[Gina Grad]

It's a kind of, you know, it's an interesting concept. Concept. It's a haves and a have nots concept. Jim Jeffries, nice, good looking guy, travels around, makes people laugh, makes nice paycheck. So every time you talk about ejaculating.

[Gary]

That'S the herpes ointment industry, he thinks.

[Gina Grad]

See, it's an interesting Mason Dixon line of low self esteem. Whenever I hear about ejaculating, I'm like, well, listen, if you're beating off in the shower, then where are you beating off? Off? It's like I'm having sex with a woman. Yeah, so you're beating off and she's doing what?

[Gary]

No, no, we're.

[Adam Carolla]

We're together, we're intimate.

[Gina Grad]

I don't. How do you beat off? How do you beat off with her? Isn't she upset by this?

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, my hands are on her breast generally, or on her thighs, I suppose.

[Gina Grad]

And then what's she doing while you beat off?

[Adam Carolla]

She's got her hands on me.

[Gary]

But it's not sexual. It's a. It's a control crime.

[Gina Grad]

When I hear ejaculate, I think beat off. Jim thinks sex.

[Jim Jeffries]

Right?

[Gary]

I think sex.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, the whole spectrum.

[Gina Grad]

It's telling.

[Gary]

But you don't. Okay, so when you're wanking, you don't. You can't clean yourself off. You'd rather make it implode into you by pressing your taint down?

[Gina Grad]

No, no.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah. Do you push on your own taint?

[Gina Grad]

Hold on a second.

[Gary]

There's no girl there. It's just him.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's very confusing.

[Gary]

I'm not a guy that he's helping.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. I have a taint valet.

[Jim Jeffries]

I don't judge him.

[Gina Grad]

Taint valet.

[Gary]

I have a taint stick.

[Gina Grad]

I've decided the guy, I'm really downsizing know the guy. Remember I told the guy who breaks in my Italian loafers, I now have him walking my dog because I figure if you're going to break in my Italian loafers, why do I need a dog walker and a guy? Yeah, well, that Guy can press my.

[Jim Jeffries]

Taint once he gets does a lap on the.

[Gina Grad]

Stay in the low first. Have the dog on leash, hit the taint.

[Gary]

I assume the taint's already broken in at your age.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, surprise, Jim.

[Gary]

No, it renews itself every couple of years. Its elasticity is getting better as time goes.

[Adam Carolla]

I stretch before the gym every time.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't just say, I stretched yesterday, I'm good today.

[Gina Grad]

I do not. I do not engage in this folly, this retrograde ejaculation. I also, I have this strong belief. Gary, you can take the picture off the screen if you want.

[Adam Carolla]

Go ahead and Google that.

[Gary]

I come into sheets and wipe it off. And I think that they've got some type of magical property where they like.

[Jim Jeffries]

The sheets, disinfect themselves.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Gary]

The sheet companies know that we're coming on them. They wouldn't make it that bad, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it absorbs it and kind of goes away into the ether. It doesn't just sit there.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Gary]

I've weighing so much in my bedroom. It's not like my bedroom's filled with. It's not like I was swimming. Cause I've just never cleaned the place out.

[Gina Grad]

But it's somehow like in the Shining when the elevator doors open.

[Adam Carolla]

It's very similar.

[Gary]

Oh, it disappears. It's magical. It goes. All the little dead babies float up to heaven.

[Jim Jeffries]

We should get a blacklight in Facebook Live.

[Gina Grad]

Your room.

[Gary]

Well, that's what I always think. A hotel hell with like Gordon Ramsay. All of a sudden, he knows about fucking hotels. He was a chef before.

[Gina Grad]

I love that.

[Gary]

Now he's a hotel guy who somehow always finds a way to take his fucking shirt off. He lost a little bit of weight. He's like, I have to touch the show. He's always shirtless. Like. Anyway, he goes in with the light and he goes, there's cum on this bed. Like, is it fresh cum? Is it fresh or these sheets been washed. That's a cum stain. There's cum stains on the mattress? I assume so. They're not cleaning the mattress all the time. It does seep through the thing. People are fucking in your hotel. I'm not. It doesn't gross me out. I'm sort of expect there to be old residual cum stains. I just hope there's been disinfectant involved. But you can. You can't.

[Gina Grad]

Now listen, here's what you have to be aware of. It's like dust mites. You know, they go, every bed has a billion dust mites. It's over five years old or Eight years old. Okay, then I'm assume I'm falling into that category. There's something everywhere on you right now. Everything you put in your mouth has been passed through something. Just get used to it. And that's why you gotta drink before you go to bed. Yeah, that's what it's for.

[Gary]

But I've had blood on sheets. I've fucked girls on their period and blood. It's not like they come in, the hotel comes in and goes, oh, we have to throw this mattress.

[Gina Grad]

But the retro.

[Gary]

Maybe they do. I don't fucking know.

[Gina Grad]

The retrograde ejaculation. Not for me, number one. Number two, I have a belief that if you prevent yourself from doing something when you're about when your body wants to do it, it's not good. It's like those people who sneeze and grab their nose at the last second, they're gonna blow an eardrum.

[Gary]

That reckon it's got something to do with prostate cancer, right?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Whatever it is, when your body's going to sneeze or belch or whatever it is a fart, you know, you gotta let it notice.

[Gary]

My father in law died of prostate cancer and he didn't wank for fucking years. He was super religious and so.

[Gina Grad]

Oh really?

[Gary]

I'm not a doctor, but I reckon that's the reason. But whenever I bring it up at Christmas, whenever I say, the table goes silent. Probably the reason he died was he didn't wake enough. When they bring him up, I'm not the favorite, right?

[Gina Grad]

But he do we know that he didn't do that?

[Gary]

That's what I've been told, that he said. I didn't actually meet the guy. He was dead before I got Jim.

[Gina Grad]

Hollandaise sauce, please. That reminds me, I think we all know you can be religious and be a hypocrite. Since almost everyone who's real religious is a hypocrite. I'm guessing that beating off is one of the first things if their religion says.

[Adam Carolla]

I would imagine that's the first time.

[Gary]

You'Re telling me that Jesus never had a awake.

[Gina Grad]

Impossible.

[Gary]

Impossible.

[Gina Grad]

Even before that he didn't. That's what I'm saying.

[Gary]

I just got back from Jerusalem. I did some gigs out in Israel, in Tel Aviv. I've got some theories.

[Gina Grad]

I like to hear them.

[Gary]

Okay, okay, okay. First of all, I went to Jerusalem. I walked through the valley of the shadow of death or whatever Coolio sang about, right? I walked all the way through there. I walked to the mound where the cross was, which is the Church that's built on top of it 1200 years.

[Jim Jeffries]

Ago where they've decided Dome of the Rock or.

[Gary]

Yeah. And I went and saw the little hole with the cross. I gotta tell you, easy walk. Oh really? Not that hard. Every. And the mound is like 15, 20 foot high. It's not, it's not. You always picture him on a big hill.

[Adam Carolla]

Mountain.

[Gary]

Yeah, like a mountain. Like the life of Brian. No, no, no, this is just a little. There's nothing.

[Jim Jeffries]

An incline.

[Gary]

Incline. Piece of piss. Right. And I realize now why Jewish people dig Israel so much. I never got it before. I was, I was. They got this thing called, you've probably heard Heritage Week.

[Gina Grad]

No, in Israel.

[Gary]

In Israel, where if you're Jewish between 18, I think and 25 fly you out there.

[Jim Jeffries]

The Birthright program. Birthright, yeah, they fly you out for free.

[Gary]

So my audience, I had like 8,000 people at the gig, right? I played like a basketball thing afterwards. I was meeting a whole lot of like young like Jewish teenagers or 18, like fucking Israel, dude. I fucking love Israel. And you're like of course you do. This is the first place you've drunk legally in a bar. You've never been away from your parents. And you probably just got your dick sucked because everyone's out there fucking each other. If that happened to me in Nigeria, I'd be harping on about Nigeria all the time.

[Gina Grad]

Right?

[Gary]

If my first time I got me dick sucked and got drunk, I'd be like, gotta go to Nigeria. It's fucking awesome. Tel Aviv is falling to bits as well.

[Gina Grad]

Is it?

[Jim Jeffries]

I've been there in 16 years.

[Gary]

Wow. It's a 100 year old city. It's falling to bits. Next to it it's got like a 5000 year old city which is rocking it out. Looks perfect. And then Tel Aviv is young and going to bits. And the guy that was doing my security, I said I can't get over this place. Everything's fallen to bits. And you. He goes, no. Jewish builders.

[Gina Grad]

Interesting.

[Gary]

They're all middle management. No one's there to build anything. The last real great Jewish builder was probably Jesus.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's kind of great.

[Gina Grad]

I'm going to flip the script on one of my plans. Gary or Dawson. Tell Gary somewhere in one of my books I lay out my let's move Israel to Baja California. It's in President me will find that's in President Meaghan. Find that I may. So my plan. Cuz there's always like oh God, they'll never. I believe that the neighbors of Israel first Off. I believe that. You know, they was always talking about territory and everything else, but to me, they're anti Semitic. They hate Jews in that region of the world, and they're always going to hate them and they're always going to try to kill them. And there's no concessions that can be made. Because if the genesis of it is, I hate you, I hate Jews, I hate your religion, and you must die, then it doesn't really matter what you concede. I hate Jews. I wanna kill you. So you're never gonna end this battle. So it's like, I always would say this, like when you'd have that really shitty roommate and you'd be arguing over who got the futon or who ate whose cereal or whose whatever, but if that guy was just a homicidal suicidal bomber and he hated your guts and it really wasn't over the cereal, he just wasn't wanted to fucking stab you at night with a sprinkler key while you were asleep, then you should move out. Just move out. You can argue over the cereal, but there's not enough cereal in the world to give that guy.

[Gary]

You'll still be in the right, but you won't be leaving me, right?

[Gina Grad]

So I wanted to move him out to Baja because I got a lot of desert. I got a nice ocean there. And I thought it could be win, win. And as I explained in the book, Mexico could use. Think about what Mexico needs. They need Jews. They're missing. They're missing the balance. They, ironically, are short on bean counters over there and need Jews. Look, and I'm not even kidding. It's like neighborhoods need a gay population. Hispanic, they need, like a balance. And then some Jews, some Asians, like, it makes a nice house.

[Gary]

Need a little bit of something.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. And it's funny because I've lived here my entire life. I did construction my adult life. I never worked with a Jew.

[Gary]

Exactly. You could give them Australia. Not all of Australia, just like a little. A little bit of Australia.

[Gina Grad]

I don't feel like they need. I don't feel like you guys need.

[Gary]

We have Jews. We have Jews, but only South African Jews. That's a weird mix. But, yeah, I used to think that all South Africans were Jewish, but there was like a little bit of anti Semitic thing and all the South African Jews all moved to.

[Gina Grad]

But you don't have, like drug cartels cutting people's heads off and putting them in duffel bags, do you? No, no.

[Gary]

We got shit going down, man. We got shit going. We got gang wars and My brother's actually a member of the SWAT team.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that's right.

[Gary]

Yeah, he's. He's a. And he said a funny thing to me. I said, what about this whole Black Lives Matter thing? What do you, what do you think of that? And like, I'm the anti gun guy. But he goes, well, he goes, it's because of guns. Every time they reach for something, they reach for their wallet. The cops are all twitchy because everyone has guns. He goes, to put it in context, he goes, the other day, a terrorist tried to blow up our police station.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Gary]

And he's still alive.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Gary]

They tasered him do.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, the.

[Gary]

Yeah, like, let's just put it in like, oh, it's rocket out in Australia. Oh, come on, mate. You shouldn't have done that. That's fucking bullshit, mate.

[Gina Grad]

I was thinking, I was watching your, your special, by the way, on Netflix Freedom. And I was thinking you were being exquisitely. Or part of it was doing the Bill Cosby rape stuff. And then part of it was the response from the newspaper from the feminist reporter who, he likes rape. And I was sitting around thinking of the most politically incorrect thing you could try to come up with in today's day and age. And I came up with a cell phone that was shaped like a gun to be targeted and sold to black people. Yeah, that's what I thought. I was having like a Tourette's Y kind of thought. I was thinking about you wallets. I wouldn't say it. I wouldn't say it.

[Brian Bishop]

You know that's a real thing, right?

[Gina Grad]

Is it a real thing?

[Brian Bishop]

Absolutely. There was just a big controversy. A guy was arrested for terrorism charges because he had a gun shaped iPhone case that was sticking out of his pocket going through London Heathrow.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

They thought it was a real gun.

[Gary]

When I was a kid, we used to have toy guns. And they look like actual guns.

[Gina Grad]

Well, they had to.

[Gary]

It's orange or something.

[Jim Jeffries]

Orange tip and orange tip or something.

[Gary]

But they look like real guns. Except for the Star wars ones, which still look more like real guns than these toy guns.

[Gina Grad]

Actually, if you're smart, smart terrorists, you just paint your actual tech 9 painted orange.

[Brian Bishop]

I know somebody.

[Gary]

Yeah, but there's plenty of girls who have like the pink hello Kitty gun. That's like a real gun. Like, it's always like, I'm a girl and here's my gun, it's pink. It's like, I thought it was for protection, not for fun.

[Brian Bishop]

I know of somebody who made that exact argument.

[Gina Grad]

It shoots press on Nails.

[Brian Bishop]

But if they made the orange tips that the gangsters and like, criminals were just gonna paint their guns orange.

[Gina Grad]

But so anyway, I'm thinking maybe we move the Mexicans to Israel now and get that place built up, you know.

[Jim Jeffries]

Because the rest of the Middle east is cool with that.

[Gina Grad]

Well, let me tell you, let me tell you as a builder here in the United States, we got a lot of Tim. We can get two by fours and four by fours and we got a lot of wood. So we make all our apartments and things out of wood. We frame our house out of wood. That's why when there's a 7.1 earthquake here, like you hear about this stuff. Like we had a 7.1, a 7.2, like 1972 here. A couple of freeway overpasses, like fell down, but there wasn't any real death at all. It's like apartment buildings, freestanding houses in the Valley, they shook, but nothing fell down. Couple of. Only masonry. Then you hear about, oh, the one in. The one in Somalia or the one in Haiti, you know, hit Japan. Yeah. And it's seven. Well, that's a tsunami. But 7.1 still trouble. Well, no, it's trouble. I'm not. Hold on. I'm not trying to be an denier. What I'm saying is Japan has serious earthquake codes. But wasn't that because steel. All the damage, or most of the damage, as I understand it was from the tsunami because.

[Gary]

So the girl wasn't hurt from the rape, she was hurt from me coming.

[Gina Grad]

That's what Hack said. Yeah. So what I'm saying is the reason we have a 7:1 in nothing and the reason Haiti has a 7:1 in total devastation is because everything's made of masonry. They don't have two by fours. It crumbles. So Jerusalem, lot of masonry. Who knows masonry? Mexicans, Nobody spreads stuck like Mexicans. Nobody does cinder block, block. You go around California, anybody who's doing block work, forming work, stucco work, all Mexican crews, they ever do stone cladding. They could clad things in stone.

[Gary]

Is stone cladding from Britain. I always thought that was a good look.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, they put the stone on the outside of the house.

[Gary]

It's like they must get a gun filled with pebbles. Just cover the wall with concrete. Just go.

[Gina Grad]

Just cover the thing they take when they're doing, like the bigger stones, they take weird little metal tabs and they attach them all throughout the wall so that they have something to cling to when they then go in and grout them in. But now I'm thinking Maybe we'll move the Mexicans to Israel. Israel's flying people in free anyway. Why not some? They're flying Jews in with almost zero stucco skills.

[Gary]

Okay, this is. You're Jewish, right?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Okay, if I convert to Judaism, do I still get the free trip or do I have to be born Jewish?

[Jim Jeffries]

You could probably go if you're converted.

[Gary]

There you go, young Mexic.

[Jim Jeffries]

The only thing was you couldn't have gone on a group trip. But if you've been with your family, you could go too.

[Gary]

My family doesn't Jew up. I only Just me.

[Jim Jeffries]

They don't Jew up.

[Gary]

My family's not.

[Jim Jeffries]

You Jew up and you come to Israel with us.

[Adam Carolla]

Usually it's Jew down.

[Gina Grad]

Pack your tuck trowel with you. All right? Do we have that from the book there, Gary?

[Brian Bishop]

This is from President Me, which leads me to Israel. What the fuck are you guys doing in the middle of those homicidal, anti Semitic, misogynistic religious zealots? I know what your answer is. It's your land. You want it fair and square and you're not getting a move. That's like me saying my roommate's a paranoid meth head. Twice a week I wake up and he's standing at the foot of my bed with a machete. Then when someone says, why don't you move out? Your answer is, and lose my cleaning deposit? Shut the fuck up. You know it's your fault. I hear a lot of talk about how all anyone wants is peace, but the side of the fence where it's only Jews looks pretty good. The other side looks like a thin slice of hell. Face it, they're a better culture than you. I don't really have a foreskin in this fight, but I do have a solution. Israel. You guys pack up and move to Baja. It's got plenty of seaside deserts. You'll love it. Here's the plan. Mexico usually gets drunk and passes out about 8:30 in the evening. You sneak in under the COVID of darkness and take over before they sober up. The only real difference between the Sea of Galilee and the Sea of Cortez is world class sport fish fishing. And you could get that country's economy back on its feet in no time. They need accountants. Ironically, Mexico's short on bean counters. And don't worry about the sacred land stuff. Once you get it established in Baja, you can send some Mexicans back to your land to scrape off the top six inches of soil, spread it over the peninsula and start fresh. Once your old neighbors realize that all the that they're out of Jews to kill. They'll start killing each other.

[Gina Grad]

There you go.

[Gary]

There you go. Amen.

[Jim Jeffries]

Quite a plan.

[Gina Grad]

Everyone thinks it's a comedy bit. I stand.

[Brian Bishop]

The book does go on to point out that you have Jewish relatives and you know that you're not a hateful person.

[Gina Grad]

Gary.

[Jim Jeffries]

It could have just been the way you said it, but I'm really hoping in my heart that you wrote it this way. Adam, at some point, referring to the Middle east, did you say homicidal?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, boy, I wish I said homicide. I'm not that good.

[Gary]

Did you float in the Dead Sea?

[Jim Jeffries]

Yes, I did. I'm actually literally the poster child for Birthright. It was a guy I ended up dating for four years. We're like floating back to back with mud on our faces.

[Gina Grad]

Whoa, whoa. Literally, the poster child.

[Jim Jeffries]

No, we are. We. We are on the poster. We're still on the poster. But we were on the poster. I'll find it.

[Gary]

There you go. I floated in the Dead Sea. I went. I went while I was drunk.

[Gina Grad]

So it's got the super high salt content.

[Gary]

It's oily water as well. It's like, you don't feel like some people love it. And this. My feet were all cut up because, yeah, the salt gets like little tiny, itty bitty razors, right? So my feet's all. When you walk in out there. And then I did at 3 in the morning, I was drunk and then like, my guy, my security guy was like, oh, you know, if you don't want to go, it's gonna not be as good. Because, you know, midday it's gonna be so hot. And I go, when's best? He goes, sunrise. And I go, how far away is it? He goes, like, three hours. I go, oh, we better fucking get going.

[Gina Grad]

All right.

[Gary]

So drunk, me and a mate, we got in this cab and we went out to the Dead Sea and we skinny dipped. There was no one there. Just floated around naked. I got a photo on my phone. I'm happy for you to show people if you want. Please, let's see it.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, but. But the Dead Sea. World's worst name for a lesbian bar.

[Gary]

Afterwards, I had salt in the end of my dick. And I thought I had problems for about two weeks. I went to the doctor and they said, no, it's just Dead Sea up there, man.

[Jim Jeffries]

Dick salt.

[Gary]

He just got dead Sea dick. I thought I had something worse going on.

[Jim Jeffries]

If you open, if somebody splash you, it's like illegal to splash people because if you got it in Your eye. You could seriously go blind.

[Gary]

All right, that's. Yeah. You have to close it.

[Gina Grad]

This is.

[Gary]

That's not the most attractive man looking at a picture.

[Jim Jeffries]

That's amazing. Calling your shot like Salt.

[Gina Grad]

Sound like the name of, like, NATO alliance leader. Something like a general. Dick Salt.

[Adam Carolla]

I think he managed the Mariners, too, back in the early 70s.

[Gina Grad]

Wow. There's a naked Jim Jeffries, pale guy.

[Gary]

Going into the Dead Sea.

[Gina Grad]

That's sweet. Brian, I'd ask you if you want to see this, but I don't really. I'm determined. You don't need to. Okay, well, then I.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what? You know me better than I do.

[Jim Jeffries]

I think he's a little bummed.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I'm doing this for you. Nothing good could come.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not protesting.

[Gina Grad]

Downside.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not protesting.

[Gina Grad]

We don't want that ejaculate to go retrograde on its own. All right, where were we? Legal Zoom, baby. It's National Make a Will month. Take some time. Check it off your to do [e-mail]. spend a few minutes, file, get it set up. Let's get the will or trust. Enjoy a Worry free celebration. LegalZoom makes it easy. They're not a law firm, so you don't have to take time out of your day and march on down to the guy's office. Do it online and save a bunch of dough as well. And you don't have to pay all the big hourly rates. So work with an independent attorney available in 48 states who can answer your questions. Recommend a state plan that fits your needs. Let's do it. It's LegalZoom. Dawson. Save money today by doing the right thing during National Make a will [e-mail] and don't forget to enter Adam in the referral box to check out. To save even more, spend your time with your family this summer. Let LegalZoom take care of the legal stuff. LegalZoom.com. that's LegalZoom.com. all right.

[Gary]

He could do the rapist jokes. He has a voice for. It's good for that. He could definitely nail that.

[Gina Grad]

It's awesome. In order to catch now, you have to write this down. All right, let's see.

[Adam Carolla]

What's a mundane crime?

[Gina Grad]

Well, mundane crime, somebody steals from the mini minibar. In order to catch someone who steals from your hotel, minibar hack has to become a rapist.

[Gary]

It's weird. It's funny. I know the guy, the guy who invented the plates in the minibar that when you lift the drinks up and it charges it to your room. I know the guy who invented that.

[Gina Grad]

I would like to kick that guy in the ball somewhere.

[Gary]

He's a very famous guy. I met him for other reasons. He also invented. He's an inventor now. He invented the Predator football boot, which was made famous by David Beckham. That had the mechanic. It was like off a ping pong bat that made the soccer balls bend.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, so it could bend it.

[Gary]

Yeah. And so the Predator boot, but he's a guy called Craig Johnson, and he was a striker for Liverpool, and he was the first Australian in the English Premier League. And then he played in the Premier League for a while, one of the top players. And then he made dick moves, like making the fucking thing that drives the.

[Gina Grad]

You know what?

[Gary]

I like to do all this stuff.

[Gina Grad]

You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to abduct him like Al Qaeda style. And eventually. And I'd also abduct the guy who invented the little cap that goes on top of the booze bottle at the airport.

[Adam Carolla]

Measured out the exact measure.

[Gina Grad]

Look at the little hummingbird's beak worth of scotch in the thing. And. Okay, now I'm ready to give you your minuscule amount for top dollar of booze.

[Adam Carolla]

God forbid you air a quarter of an ounce in my favor.

[Gary]

And speed camera guy, not the one that the cops hold, but the one that's stationary.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yep.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. I feel like that guy came up with the. That for some other use like. Like he wanted to use it for Kentucky Derby Nolan Ryan's fastball to get whatever pitch it was or something. And then the bad guys got hold of it like they do before it was all digital.

[Gary]

They used to have the speaker. I don't know if it's the same in Australia, but they haven't the lights. They have the red light cameras. Right, the red light cameras. And only like 20 years ago, the red light cameras still had film in them and they replaced them every week. And people got a bit savvy around Sydney that in the busy intersection, if you got caught on a Saturday or a Sunday, you're all right. Because they were out of film.

[Gina Grad]

Ah, because they would shoot themselves out like that.

[Gary]

They'd shoot themselves.

[Gina Grad]

All right. Jim Jeffries, we know him. Free Dumb. Available on Netflix. Super funny. I mean, it's Jim Jeffries. It's always funny. But this may even be his best work yet. You can get it at Netflix. Live shows everywhere. Playing San Jose, that is tonight @ City National Civic in San Jose also. What is this?

[Gary]

William Fresno in Bakersfield this weekend.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. So one the Fox Theater in Bakersfield. I'll tell you what, the dates available go to jimjefferies.com find out all about where this guy's playing in a town near you. Jim jeffries.com live shows everywhere. The cruise all limited time. Don't do your best. Do my best hats. Very cool embroidered hats. Really nice coffee mugs. They're gonna pull them soon, so jump on that now. And until next time, Sam Corolla for David Wilde, Jim Jeffries, Gina Granbal, Brian saying mahalo. You're singing either about cake or cock. I'm.

[Gary]

Alright.

[Gina Grad]

That's Adam Kollis Show 1870.

[Adam Carolla]

Coming up next we have Adam Kurillo Show 1918 featuring the great Greg Fitzsimmons, Gina Grad and Brian bishop, also from 2016.

[Gary]

Check it out.

[Gina Grad]

Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you and bald Brian.

[David Wild]

I've crawled my way to the middle and I like it here.

[Gina Grad]

That's Fitz Dogman. He'll be in studio in a couple of few. Always good to hang out with great Fitzsimmons. We were talking yesterday about the DFG and the movie parody from what was that called?

[Adam Carolla]

Crank was the movie.

[Gina Grad]

Crank was the movie. Ours was Buzz.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Gina Grad]

He had to maintain a three beer buzz nor stay alive. It made me laugh and Mike lynch was able to dig it out from the archives. So should we just finish up some business? Let's hear it. 2008 Lake Havas. In a world where the party never ends, his trouble is just starting. My name is Maverick and this spring.

[Gary]

Break could be my last.

[Gina Grad]

A fraternity president is poisoned. I've been poisoned and has to maintain a four beer buzz. My buzz level, it's getting dangerous right now. Dead drunk Jason Statham is Master Maverick, the deaf frat guy. I'm coming for you, Blake Gamer. And my potato gun's coming with me. Special appearances by Poochie Moose and Mike App. Maverick. If you stop drinking, you die. And the Pussycat dogs is the Gypsies. I'm handed with these gypties on this house phone. Buzz, if he's not wasted, his life is. This film is not liberated.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, cleaned up at the Oscars that year. I remember.

[Gina Grad]

Very nice.

[Adam Carolla]

Took the King's speech down.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's like going up against Lord of the Rings.

[Gina Grad]

The gypsies on the houseboat Mavis at Havasu and he had a houseboat and he claimed that they were drugged by gypsies.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh my God.

[Gina Grad]

They were posing as sort of exchange student party guards. But they're really just a clan of gypsies who would rip off the computers and phones after having sex.

[Jim Jeffries]

Sure.

[Gina Grad]

You know?

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, of course. Who doesn't know?

[Gina Grad]

Right? And then the funny story about what happened with Mav and the gypsies is everyone else woke up with dicks drawn on their foreheads with a Sharpie. But someone wanted to know why Mav didn't have one. It was very suspicious. He was the last one to pass out.

[Adam Carolla]

I said, yes, the question has to be asked, but it is suspicious.

[Gina Grad]

Well, he was the last one to pass out. And even though they were ripped off by gypsies and he was a drug induced coma, he still had time in the wherewithal, still was able to draw penises on the foreheads of everyone else who had been overtaken by the gypsy drugs.

[Adam Carolla]

My favorite part is a fraternity peasant has been drugged. I've been drugged. Poisoned river was.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So. Ah, the best. Yeah, the best. So that'll be Friday, Foxwoods and then Saturday, Doug Benson at the Wilbur, which is a beautiful theater, had one of these moments today, as at the barber shop they had. I never really watch local news anymore. I don't put it on Channel 5, KTLA at 9:30 in the morning and get caught up on what's going on because it has something to do with a freeway off ramp closure that's in Belmont or something. And I have zero interest in it. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But there's some dogs up for adoption.

[Gina Grad]

This was. Speaking of dogs. It was funny. So we're all sitting in the barbershop.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's a high and tight cut you got there, by the way.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you. We're getting a haircut and they do. Ooh. I had a weird. I have this gene that most people don't think I have because of the things I say and do in public. But I hate the make someone feel uncomfortable gene that I never. I'm scared to ask anyone if they're pregnant because I don't want them to ever say. Actually, it's around Thanksgiving, I have this thing and the barbershop has two dudes and one chick and the one dude who cut my hair. Well, the first exchange I had with him was this, which is. What are your hobbies? He a huge Green Bay packers fan? Huge packers fan. Okay. It's 10 days before the opening season. Who the packers play in the first game of the season? Don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Couldn't tell you.

[Gina Grad]

I love that guy. I don't know why I'm jealous of that guy. I'm Just jealous of it because his whole life as Green Bay packers, we were literally, I don't know, eight days away from kickoff, and he had no idea who the thing he builds his life around was playing. But all right, then he's also one of these guys, too, where he, like, kind of jealous of this guy, too. But these are the people I assume. They assume you're lying. You have this with. It's that sort of like, some of Drew's wife's friends, you know, they'll go, like, I remember, like, eating dinner at Drew's house, and it was like, oh, Cheryl loves Dancing with the Stars. She's a fanatic. She's a Dancing with the Stars fanatic. And then I go, oh, we're sitting at the same dinner table. I go, I did Dancing with the Stars. She'll go, hey, how about that? Anyway, pass the corn, would you, Dr. Drew? Now your kids want. Now, I'm sorry. They all were in the same grade, or did they break them up? Because I've heard with triplets, it's a good idea. And it's like, do you not believe me? Do you think I'm lying? You're a huge dancer of the stars, right? And you're sitting at a table with someone who actually did it. You should have questions about Tom Bergeron or how it works back there or the fitting room or just anything. But I'm always wondering, like, do you think I'm lying?

[Adam Carolla]

Do you think Drew's overselling it? Like, she's a casual fan.

[Jim Jeffries]

Is Drew the one that's lying?

[Gina Grad]

She may have said, like, she was a big fan. I don't know this guy. My first exchange with this guy was, he was a huge Green Bay packers fan, but he didn't know who the Green Bay packers were. And then he said something where he said, what are you doing this summer? You doing any travel or any vacations? And I said, well, tomorrow. Oh, I think he said he was a big NASCAR guy, race fan or something. I said, actually, tomorrow morning, I'm going to England to drive Paul Newman's race car in a hill climb event. And he went, oh, well, there you go. So just a little off the. And we just went right back into.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the packers aren't playing.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, the packers aren't playing. And it's like, do you think I'm lying? Because it was literally, I was getting a haircut, and we were gonna leave the following morning and go do this race in England. And he said he liked the car. So it's just one of these, not a lot of follow up. But anyway, had this little piece of embarrassment, which is. When I was younger, I used to go to a barbershop which had two Italian guys. Super, super old school Italian guys. Yeah. And they would sit there and one guy was horrible and the other guy was great. But when I walked in, if the horrible guy had a chair ready and wanted me to sit down, I couldn't ever wait for the good guy. I just. I didn't have it in me to go hang out for this guy. I remember it was a highfalutin place. I remember because it had two TV sets stacked on top of each other. One was a console kind like the piece of furniture kind. It's weird that TV sets, it's funny, they kind of went like they had the same range a guitar has. They had like the ukulele, the mini one. Then there's the medium one, then there's the massive one. But I never thought about this. But TV sets first started as TV sets. And then at some point they turn into furniture. Big cabinets and a lot of walnut, mahogany and big old. Hey, look what I got. And it folds open and stuff like that. Then at a certain point now the whole deal is as wafer thin as they can possibly get. As it. Now, it used to be as much room as we can take up in the living room. And that went to. I don't even know you were ever born as a TV set, but ran a gamut there, but sure did. These guys had the console ones on the floor and then another TV set sitting on top of it. Because the picture worked in one and the sound worked in the other.

[Jim Jeffries]

That is genius.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I remember that. About that, that barber shop. And I would just. I was always very self conscious. I knew I'd get a bad haircut, but I'd just go. If that guy's chair was open, he was doing, hey, come on in. He did. They do that. And move. It's the come on down move. It's the waving of the bib. Hey, toro, come on down.

[Adam Carolla]

And especially if you say, no, I'll wait. Then you're in the comfortable position of having to sit and stare at the guy while you wait.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Like the empty chair. You're like, I'll wait.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So while no one sits there.

[Gina Grad]

I got the guy the first time I went into this barbershop. Now to the present. Okay. I got this guy about a year ago, and he was really fast and he was good. And then once I established that, every time I come Back, I get somebody else. And I don't have the heart to just sit there and wait until the guy's done. I got just take the next chair and they do a good job. But this other guy's a little bit faster. He's a little more dialed in. And I was kind of in a rush this morning and I walked in and the woman was there. And she did the move where she went, open chair right here. And I did the move that I never do, which is I went. I'm in a real hurry, so I'm gonna work with this guy. Cause this guy, in my quick assessment of what was going on, this guy had an empty chair. She had an empty chair. I had to do a Sophie's Choice. She offered me the chair first. And I was gonna go, not gonna wait till he's done with somebody, he's free. So I had to go to her like, yeah, sorry, I'm gonna go with him. Which made me really uncomfortable. And then she turned around and started finishing the guy she was working on, which made me realize I just made an ass of myself. And I didn't need to go through this because she was saying, open chair for the guy. I then told her, apologize for yes. While we were there.

[Adam Carolla]

Could have avoided it all together. She had to say something.

[Gina Grad]

Everybody. It's the one time I spoke up.

[Adam Carolla]

Hope you learned your lesson.

[Gina Grad]

I did. Never again. Never again. So we're sitting there and they're running the stories and LA and the protests and the police shootings. And they got the women. 118 year old Katie was armed. But they have some footage, but they don't have the footage of the actual shooting. Well, that's with the body cam. And then there's this other guy. And they have the gun, but it was a fake gun. But they took the orange tip to let everyone know it was a fake gun. And he painted it black. And that was another thing. And Louisiana City councils have a meeting and protesters are showing up and the community's outraged. And this could spark violent protests. And the silence is everyone just sort of watching it scroll by on the TV set. And then the very next story is a woman who got a rescue dog took it down to like the Hermosa beach shoreline. And there's a certain configuration where if a wave comes up, I don't know, she's throwing a tennis ball to the dog, it runs into the surf, the wave grabs the dog, pulls it into a storm drain and drowns the dog.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, God.

[Gina Grad]

And that's the reaction. Everyone's like woo. That's a shame. We just saw two dudes, you know, combined age 40 or whatever, two guys were gunned down with no.

[Gary]

0.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, there's audible reaction zero. But when the. When the rescue dog died in the storm drainers. That's a shame. That is a shame. Which I just realized. This is how human beings are wired, especially women. And it's insane. It is insane.

[Adam Carolla]

It is insane.

[Gina Grad]

Total silence from me. And although to be fair to me, I don't make a noise when the guy's gunned down or the schnauzer goes to Davy Jones locker. I'm soundless all the way. Equal opportunity reaction list. But there was a reaction when they found out the dog drowned in the storm.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, look at the big picture. Stepping back a second. Why do those places have to have the news on, which is, I'll be generous and say 92% negative. Sad, awful. No news versus the price is Right is on or Family Feud, some would.

[Jim Jeffries]

Say that's more depressing.

[Adam Carolla]

Put something on that has people cheering.

[Gina Grad]

I know you're literally sitting there and oh geez. And El Segundo, a three year old stepchild who had been tortured and beaten mercilessly for his entire life finally gave way when his skull was crushed. And why didn't the child protective services who made multiple trips to the house and experienced Tiparillo burns on the genitalia of it. You're like sitting going. We really need to digest all this information here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oprah's on someone. Someone's cheering somewhere. Put that on.

[Gina Grad]

I, I'm, I'm with you. We're going to be in this chair for 19 minutes. Do I have to contemplate suicide when I leave?

[Adam Carolla]

And how bummed out must the hair stylists or barbers be who are literally being bombarded for hours with subliminal. Even if they're not listening, they're picking up just bad news. Sad sadness.

[Gina Grad]

If this guy found out another pet.

[Adam Carolla]

Died, he would have thrown himself off.

[Gina Grad]

Stabbed himself with his own scissors with the weird little flare on the O. For some reason they're not barber scissors. Unless the two little round things you put your fingers. One has a little apostrophe on it or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Cappy, I'm like a hot shave.

[Gina Grad]

What do you do? No, no, don't do it. It's got to have that thing on the thing. It's not for hanging on anything or doing any. I don't know what that thing is, but that thing needs to be there. Something I don't I don't.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Gina Grad]

I don't know. So the wrong guy also. That's true. I also had this exchange change too, which is I am obsessed with the businesses that insist on selling things that don't have anything to do with their business. Man, the Holly. You'd go to the Hollywood. You go to the Hollywood car wash. I mean, you could kind of argue that the five hour energy is, I don't know, it's like a Diet Coke maybe it's ubiquitous or something.

[Jim Jeffries]

Hours on the road.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not a pack of cards.

[Gina Grad]

Right. That I'd go to the Hollywood car wash and you'd go. Inevitably you'd have to file through the front where the cash register was. And they always have some kind of showcase down below there. There were bongs, there were tiaras, there was. The one my favorite was a miniature pistol crossbow. Like, what are the chances you're going in to get your Audi clean? And went, oh, well, I was gonna swing by the bass shop and grab one of those, but I just saved myself a trip. Like I wanted a crossbow and I needed my wheels detailed, so. But it's just all there.

[Jim Jeffries]

It doesn't make sense. And I guess I could understand it like a truck stop, but at a car wash. They also have like penis pills.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it's crazy. I'll tell you my. I'll tell you my theory. My theory is it's a foreigner thing where everything, including family members are up for sale potential. If you got enough nice enough wad in your pocket. Like, here's the deal, we have real estate that is true that real estate is supposed to be for washing cars and vans, but there's a space in the front. Lay out some Afghan rugs and some sombreros. Whatever it is, a shoe for putting cards in it. You know, like it's all for sale. Why not do it here?

[Jim Jeffries]

Yep, yep.

[Gina Grad]

Well, here's what I'm saying.

[Adam Carolla]

I have a theory too. So keep going.

[Gina Grad]

You went to a culture that was different than the sort of bizarre culture. Meaning every single Saturday everything just gets pushed out to the front lawn of the apartment. And if you want a slightly used George Foreman grill, it's yours for $21. Like everything's just for sale. I would bet you if you went to car washes in Germany, they a would have nothing but high end things that had to do with cars. Z mole and things, he said super high carnauba waxes and things like that. Only car related stuff. Or there would be some sort of Mandate that you couldn't sell non car related stuff. Like if you. I bet you if you went to Germany, went to a car wash, you would go into that and there be would. Would be a showroom of car detailing or car oriented, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, makes sense.

[Gina Grad]

Pioneer freshener shaped like a swastika. But you know what I'm saying that you could hang proud.

[Adam Carolla]

Do they come in other styles?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I think the folks that own the car washes in Hollywood have a slightly different cultural background than that.

[Jim Jeffries]

I think that makes a lot of sense.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's my theory and that's this meets your foreign owned bizarre culture. I think. So as a small business owner, you probably know this. If you own a small or even large business. Car washes are write offs. You can write off your car washes. And I think anyone who goes through the car wash, I got to imagine 40% of the people are writing that off, you know, for business. And thus if you just add something to the bill, you could probably slip in that receipt to your taxes and say, oh, I spent 40 bucks on the car wash. When in fact you spent $20 and you got $20 worth of what? Granted these are random items in that part, it doesn't really make sense. But yes, I think.

[Gina Grad]

Bert, I went over some invoices here. You're a pharmaceutical rep. Why do you need a plaster Paris et shaped with a Prussian helmet on it, carrying a crossbow?

[Adam Carolla]

That's a good question. You would be shocked how many units of Viagra that moves.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, I'm gonna circle it this time.

[Adam Carolla]

Put a question mark by it. Don't cross it out.

[Gina Grad]

Hookah puck. Yeah, same date, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Medicinal.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, same. Same location.

[Jim Jeffries]

You have a wreck for that?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, we got those Chinese finger traps.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. That's for loosening your joints. I have carpal tunnel from all the working.

[Gina Grad]

These. I don't know. I think I remember these from my childhood. They're snakes. I think you light them on fire and they just sort of fizzle out on the ground. Is that something.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll be honest. That's just pure enjoyment. Cross that one off. Cross that one off.

[Gina Grad]

We have potpourri scented, water soluble lube, five gallon tub.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, some of those pills smell very bad. And you got to get the smell out of the car in case a client comes in.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, so you picked up a lot of things here.

[Adam Carolla]

These are all work expenses. Work expenses.

[Gina Grad]

All right. It's expensive car wash. You got Sammy Davis junior's autobiography here.

[Adam Carolla]

He do you know more motivational person.

[Gina Grad]

Than Sammy Davis Jr. That's a good point. Do you.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's answer the question.

[Gina Grad]

I know. Calling my office so I get on the defense. But how does it feel?

[Adam Carolla]

How does it feel, Mitch?

[Gina Grad]

I'm just saying, next time you're at the car wash, I will then pay for the price of the car being washed, since it is a work vehicle.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Gina Grad]

But all the other things. Says here you bought a pinata.

[Adam Carolla]

That was to test the strength of the tires. I ran it over several times, and it crushed that pinata quite, quite easily. So the car's good to go.

[Gina Grad]

Okay. All right. But again, yeah. I mean, they will sell anything. One of the things. This place is good because this place sells golf balls.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, that's good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And I said, I like when people give me a nice, earnest answer where I said, because they're on a shelf under the TV set. And I like. I just said, guy, how this golf ball's moving. And he said, and I love a dead serious. We don't sell a lot of them. I love that guy. I wish I was that guy, too. Like, I can't go. I know. It's ridiculous, right? What are we, a driving range? Like, it's an insane thing to have. How do they do it at Fantastic Sam's? Do you think people walk in and go, excuse me, I want to get a haircut for me and myself? Where are the golf balls? Oh, they're here. Excuse me. You don't sell golf balls. This place shan't see my shadow again. Like, I don't think it's ever come up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's not the item you think you find.

[Gina Grad]

No, but I like a good, serious answer. We don't move a lot. Meaning if that was our only business, we'd be struggling right now. All right, let's not struggle. Let's not have you struggle. Let's get Simply Safe. Yeah, man. You ever have that nagging feeling? Actually, we're just sitting home watching a TV commercial for Simply Safe. The dad was doing the move I almost never do, but I should, which is, Brian, you're going to have to learn this move if you want to be a good dad. I've seen him on tv. You have to pop open the door in your daughter's room, look in, look concerned for a second, and then have a sort of satisfaction look, and then close the door and walk out again.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

I don't do that move, but I'm going to work it in my repertoire. We're watching Simply Safe commercial. Dad's looking good. Walking around, he had simple.

[Adam Carolla]

Safety zones.

[Gina Grad]

And Sonny said, ooh, what if a burglar comes to our house? And I said, buddy, we got simply safe.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah. With all this car talk, I do have a car question for you. And I'm willing to humiliate myself and sort of the stereotype that chicks don't know anything about cars. As I was driving over here, my little gauge went on that said I have a tire pressure issue. And I was wondering maybe after the show if someone could help me with that. You have one of them?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I'll send that over to see if we can.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Points in the direction of a gas station.

[Jim Jeffries]

You got one of them tire jewels?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what you called it. When? Earlier in the show, before the show.

[Jim Jeffries]

When you talked to me, hoping there would be.

[Gina Grad]

I have a gadget 50 gallon, like 3 phase runs on 240. Compressor at the other shop with this big silo of a hopper that fills up with air as well. So I've got air, Tina.

[Adam Carolla]

That means yes, every.

[Gina Grad]

And I literally just did it yesterday. I had the thing go off of my car, too. Just pulled it in and told the guys, top them off. So. Yep.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, thank you, God.

[Gina Grad]

Easily done.

[Jim Jeffries]

Thank you so much.

[Gina Grad]

Just pull up to the other shop. We'll get the guys.

[Jim Jeffries]

Ring the bell.

[Gina Grad]

Ring the bell. Get you all figured out. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

If you ever wanted to do it yourself in California, they have to let you use the air machine for free if you get gas.

[Jim Jeffries]

Really?

[Gina Grad]

Yes, if you get gas.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. If you fill up, you'll get $5 worth of gas.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, maybe I'll get some tutelage today with the little stick that comes out with the little lines on it.

[Gary]

What do they.

[Adam Carolla]

Some places have that. Some places are advanced now where they'll just. You just dial in the amount you want. You know what I mean? The psi, and then it'll just do it automatically.

[Gina Grad]

They don't have the coin op ones anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

They do, but they must turn them on for you or give you a coin or something if you're getting gas.

[Gina Grad]

Let me explain how that's going to work out here in Hollywood. Go ahead, Gina. You be troubled motorist.

[Jim Jeffries]

Hi. I need to go ahead and disrupt this. Yeah, I just need to put some air in my tires.

[Brian Bishop]

I was hoping.

[Gina Grad]

We have no air.

[Jim Jeffries]

No, no, I bought gas.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

So all you need to do is just turn it on.

[Gina Grad]

Good. Yes. You like, right?

[Jim Jeffries]

In California, the law is that you go ahead and just turn that on for me.

[Gina Grad]

We're in California. You like, it's nice. Look at the sun outside. It's beautiful. Yes, yes.

[Jim Jeffries]

So if you just go ahead and turn that on for me, I'm just gonna.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yes, yes. No. You like?

[Jim Jeffries]

I'm sorry, is that a yes or a no?

[Gina Grad]

It is.

[Gary]

Hi.

[Gina Grad]

You need cigarette?

[Jim Jeffries]

No, I just need air for my tires. Could you just pop the machine on? Because I just bought gas.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah. No, this is broken. It's no good.

[Jim Jeffries]

But California law says you have to let me.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, it's beautiful. Yes. No. You like? It's good. Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

I'm just gonna roll out of here on my two good tires.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, this is.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You like?

[Jim Jeffries]

I don't like.

[Gina Grad]

No, this is good.

[Jim Jeffries]

I don't. I can't drive like this.

[Gina Grad]

You buy a Snickers bar.

[Jim Jeffries]

No, that won't fill the tire in my. On my car. I need the air.

[Gina Grad]

Hold on. I have to yell at customer. Okay. Hey, pump seven. No. Hey, read, sign. No, no, no, no. We don't have. No squeegee. No squeegee. Squeegee. No, no. Yes, I have squeegee. It's in the. It's in vault in back. I see. It's chained up like Houdini reference. Yes. No squeegee. Yes. Pump. No. Hold on. Pump four. Yes. Go to pump four. Yes. Sorry. Yes.

[Jim Jeffries]

So if I can just grab some air for my tires, that'd be great because I did pay for the gas.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, yes. Gas good. Very good.

[Gary]

Very important.

[Gina Grad]

Yep. They will close.

[Jim Jeffries]

So the air.

[Gina Grad]

Closed.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's closed.

[Gary]

It's closed.

[Jim Jeffries]

You're closed.

[Gina Grad]

It's broken.

[Jim Jeffries]

I'm pretty sure it's not broken. I just saw somebody use it.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, it's good.

[Jim Jeffries]

Ironically, they put money in and it works. And I'm asking you.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, this is good.

[Jim Jeffries]

Thanks very much.

[Gina Grad]

You buy cigarette.

[Jim Jeffries]

I hate you. This okay?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Always it's broken. Always it's broken. Or I.

[Jim Jeffries]

And you hear it running?

[Gina Grad]

Yep.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. That's the greatest.

[Adam Carolla]

Ostensibly, you're supposed to be able to use for free, right?

[Gina Grad]

Never.

[Adam Carolla]

Whether or not it gets done, never.

[Gina Grad]

Never works. All right, where was we? Let's see. Any phone calls, Any other stuff you guys want to get into? Fitz dogs coming in in a second. Gary, did you ever find any of that stuff I was looking for?

[Brian Bishop]

Completely failed you.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, it's there.

[Brian Bishop]

But the problem is, is that what you're looking for.

[Jim Jeffries]

Don't forget Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

The problem is the video that they released today, which is what the press conference is about. Every story just shows that Video. They haven't. I know there is video of the press conference, but it has not been uploaded.

[Gina Grad]

Did we figure out why they don't have the name? I've been looking.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm thinking that it was a notification issue, but I'm not sure that.

[Gina Grad]

What's your notification issue?

[Brian Bishop]

If someone dies, you have to notify the family before you can release them.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, and they don't know?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. I'm sure. Speculation.

[Gina Grad]

Your speculation. But it was also Hispanic, maybe. Didn't have an id. Maybe. Obviously we were legally sure. Impossible. Okay. But I know, it's great. Here's where we're at now, by the way. Then on the news, they went to breaking news, which is LA City Council was going to then address the problem of the shootings. Now, here's kind of the problem. If you've looked at enough city council meetings, like they have a channel 19 and a half where you can just watch the feed from the Santa Monica Monica one. Well, that's the one where they're like, we want to put a 2% levy on the garbage industry because it costs to sort the recyclables. And then some guy stands up, he's missing a limb. He has something pinned, has a shirt pinned. He's wearing a vest that has way too many pins on the vest itself and a beret with a bunch more pins. And he says there's something going on.

[Adam Carolla]

In his sleeve, Right.

[Gina Grad]

He starts off with he's a veteran of the Korean copy conflict. And then he starts rambling on about how this 2% levy, who no one gives a crap about, no one even really knows what it is. He knows exactly how it works and he's animated about it.

[Adam Carolla]

And he, he cares enough for the rest of us.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, they give him 60 seconds, but he always exceeds that time. And there's an argument. Well, there's a version of that that takes place at city council too. Because if you really think about it, the only people that have the time to show up at those things because they always have them at 10am on Tuesday. Anyone who's gainfully employed can't attend. All you get is super angry unemployed people and they got nothing to lose. They got nothing. Like, you ever do that thing where you're like, oh, look, the cops. Oh, the cops. Oh, he's gonna arrest her. Oh, he's telling. And she's just laying down. Oh, he's gonna arrest. And if you're like, I can't get arrested because I gotta go do a gig. And the Kids and the wife and the doggy and all the crap that needs be to. I can't. There's no circumstance where I go, just put me. Put me in a holding tank for 48 hours. What do I care? Like, I'll do it. I mean, I get it, they're heroes. But on the other hand, there's an element of. Not a real. The dance card's not at full. Hero meets time.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You can't be Mark Garrigus and go like, eh, just take me away. You can protest things to do.

[Adam Carolla]

You have billable hours to fill.

[Gina Grad]

Right, right. So we're now at the point where these things have. We've lost all civility and these things can't even be. The guy's trying to start the thing off with the opening statement. And then we're gonna get to the angry questions. But now, because we've turned this whole thing into a. We're now living in a mental institution, the guy can't get through the opening statement. So he's like, On 28th September, 2016, a man lost his life. He didn't lose his life. He was killed.

[Adam Carolla]

He was taken from him.

[Gina Grad]

Understood. Please let me get through this. Officers respond. They didn't respond. That was a hit. They put a hit on him. Like, okay, please, please, just please let me get through the opening statement. And then open. There's this great one where then he gets through the brother that got shot. Then he's like. And later on that day, an El Monte Hispanic man was shot by. He has a nail. And it's like, somebody literally shout out, he has a name. And the guy's like, yeah, we don't have. But we don't have it. So we gave the other guy's name. We don't have this guy's name. Get it? The guy's guy was like, could you please let me just get.

[Adam Carolla]

I was handed this.

[Gina Grad]

I gotta get through this prepared statement. And then we can start the yelling. But we're starting the yelling before we get through the statement now.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yep.

[Gina Grad]

And he's like, he was shot and fatally executed. It's like, okay, okay, please people, let me get through the statement and form at the end. And now Garrigus told me, and he says, there's a picture of it. I don't know where it is. But he said the guy just literally got up, gave the f. Walked down, just gave. Gave the bird to everyone. Just f you. Like, I don't. I gotta get through the first page. I gotta get through the page.

[Brian Bishop]

That was it. That was a different incident from two.

[Gina Grad]

Or three weeks ago. These are the minutes we have to get through this part and then we.

[Adam Carolla]

Can yell all the yelling right.

[Gina Grad]

We're now at the point where you can't get through. I love that he has a name. When they don't have the name of the guy who's. Yeah, he's not a minor. It's just they didn't have the guy's name.

[Jim Jeffries]

I wonder if the person who yelled that usually wears a windbreaker and works at a vestibule at a grand garage.

[Gina Grad]

It is.

[Jim Jeffries]

He also had a name and wanted you to know.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God. I just. It was high comedy for me, but I did feel bad for the poor guy who was. He's trying not to stir the pot.

[Adam Carolla]

He's trying to be as business as possible.

[Gina Grad]

And you can tell, like somebody would stand up and yell murderer. And he'd kind of go. He looked back down at his page on 28th September. He was trying to get through till he got through. But we don't even get through anymore. Which is the comedy. Aaron, 28, Oklahoma. Hey, man, I'm calling out Oklahoma, but I'm from Palm Springs. I'm from over there in la. You know, I've been a truck driver for the past five years now. I don't know what the candidate plans on doing, on trying to get people to learn. I forgot we had. Yeah, horrible job. Job of that. So, ladies and gentlemen, the next President of the United States. Candidate Platitude. I'm sorry, little problem with my mic. Difficulty with my mic. Yes. Aaron, you know, about, about the whole clicking or ticket thing. Instead of doing that, how about showing people how to merge? You know, us being truck drivers, we could only go 65 or 55 in California. And these people, you know, they don't understand and speed, you know, with the flow. Instead they're just doing 45. Then they got it, then they step on it. Aaron. I feel I understand. Jumping all over my son Aaron insane. My son and daughter Aaron are both long haul truckers. I understand. I come from a long line of long haul truckers. Oh, yeah. That's why we back you up. My great, great grandfather came to this country from. Where are you from, Aaron? What's your nationality? Hispanic. From Mexico. In Mexico. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. From Mexico. Proudly came here from Mexico in 1781. Drove a Peterbilt truck. Eighteen wheeler. Yeah. Prototype.

[Adam Carolla]

Wore the hat and everything. The mesh hat.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah. Had one of the first CB radios. Now, of course, these Were difficult times because he had the only CB radio so he had to talk to himself a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Breaker.

[Gina Grad]

And speaking of breaking those engines this is right at the infancy of diesel so they didn't know how to distill it as well as they did. But he was a long haul trucker and his father before him was a long haul trucker. And we used to sit around the table. There wasn't a lot of bread on the table. We made a living. He was proud. You could make a living back then driving a truck. There was a middle class back then and we would talk about merging. I would use it as a metaphor. Why not take the Hispanic culture and merge it with the white and Anglo culture. Why not take the African American culture and merge it onto the highway of success. Why don't those freeway signs instead of telling you what to do or what not to do have just open arms saying please merge. Come and merge here. What kind of payload do you carry? Anything refrigerated? Ah. My great great grandfather drove a refrigerated 18 wheeler as well again in 1870. Could have been earlier than that.

[Adam Carolla]

It's very advanced. Oh he had the first CB radio so I suppose very advanced.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. The whole thing ran off of saltpeter. Nana would tell me the stories. They did almost everything with whale oil and saltpeter back then. Yes. And after hours of merging and talking to himself on his own wooden CB radio they also used. I mean you're saying well where's the technology? Cat gut.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Not a lot of metallurgy back then.

[Gina Grad]

No. And we would talk about transporting of refrigerated goods and he would cross this great land as I have and he would meet with the people because I've crossed this land much like you have Aaron. And I've looked into the eye of many out of work refrigerated long haul trucker. And I've said when I'm in charge it's all going to change. That's what I'm going to do. Ah. And I'll tell you you what, Instead of a wall between you and your ancestral home place of Mexico I'm going to build a bridge. Oh man. We're waiting for it.

[Jim Jeffries]

Excited about that.

[Gina Grad]

A bridge. But the bridge is going to run long ways and they're only really going to be able to walk along.

[Adam Carolla]

It's almost a de facto wall in that case.

[Gina Grad]

Well. But they'll get exercised.

[Adam Carolla]

That's definitely true.

[Gina Grad]

Now you gotta walk a Mexican. I know it sounds cliche but they'll get dysplasia if you don't get out there and walk them.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. You always walk a Mexican candidate platitude.

[Jim Jeffries]

You should wish this trucker bring a.

[Gina Grad]

Bag just in case it didn't make in the yard. Yes, sir.

[Jim Jeffries]

A happy 104 to him.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. A good 104 to you there, good buddy. It's my great grandpappy would say in his prototypes, he was. I think he started it. He may have. Well, now, his name was Christopher Burnett.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a Mexican named Christopher Burnett.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

Cristobal Barnetto. And they do call it a CV for those very reasons. There's a misunderstanding, and I think a lot of people think it stands for Citizens Bank. Completely different. Why? Since Citizens starts with an S anyway. That even makes sense. Citizens. Okay, Aaron. I was the first. I'm proud to say I graduated from Harvard, Brown and Yale while my family worked hard in the refrigerated long haul trucking business. For me to do that. Citizens with an S. It's what made me win the script. Spelling scripts with a C. Spelling competition spelling bee. Many, many years ago. Thank you, Aaron. A little longer ago than I care to share. Thank you, Aaron. Jeff. 39, Kansas City. Yes. My family hails from the Kansas City area. Hell yeah. Bald Gina. Go to hell, yeah. I want to commend Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton on avoiding taxes for all these years. And I believe that all taxes are theft with the threat of violence. How do you feel about this subject? Well, I agree with you, Jeff. How much do you make a year? Almost nothing. Thus I have to give nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

Savvy.

[Gina Grad]

We need more people like you. Yeah. You know, I built my own pirate ship.

[Adam Carolla]

It's lottery. Pirate ship.

[Gina Grad]

And I married well, so it works. What does your wife do? She's a doctor. Yes. And what do. What do you do literally? Well, I attend the kids. I manage a handful of rental properties. I do as well. I manage property as well. I manage property as well. I'm a big fan of Ace on the Roof. What kind of doctor is your wife? She's the best kind to argue with. She's a psychologist. Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, wow.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, really? All right. Yes, yes. I'm a psycho. My wife's a psychologist as well. She has proof smarter than you. Yes. So I'm sorry, you pay nothing in taxes. What is your wife. What rate does your wife pay at? Oh, I'm sure she's in the top tax bracket, so about 5%. So I'm in there too. 44%. I paid almost three last year.

[Adam Carolla]

Donald Trump got In a lot of trouble for basically, you know, not paying taxes, supposedly for many years. Sounds like he might be hit down the same path.

[Gina Grad]

Fly like a fox.

[Adam Carolla]

That's how he views it. A lot of people take a different view.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. We paid almost three and a half percent last year, and I was able to write off, thankfully, a windmill that I'd purchased. So they ended up owing me money, but that's true. Jeff. What? Yes. Thank you for agreeing with me. Do you have children? I do. I have a couple. What are their names? I have a special needs child at home as well. Well, actually, he's not at home. He's on a. Well, I guess you'd call it a sort of foot powered generating device. I am walking on a well. Like those. Like what they have for the hamster. A wheel.

[Adam Carolla]

Like a hedge ball?

[Gina Grad]

Yes, a wheel. I have him at home on a wheel. Right. Well, it's not. He's outside, but he's on the property. He's on a wheel.

[Adam Carolla]

Is he generating power?

[Gina Grad]

Is this. Just keep him moving? Well, it's not power, but it's how we pump water. I sunk a well.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Gina Grad]

I had him dig me a well.

[Jim Jeffries]

He called it a windmill. This is really.

[Gina Grad]

That's how we get the water out.

[Adam Carolla]

That makes sense.

[Gina Grad]

He's home. Unconventional schooling would be a little redundant or a waste of time for him. Exercise is paramount. And also getting water out of the ground for free. So I have my young boy on the mill right now. He gets breaks every three hours. We hydrate him and give him dried meats.

[Adam Carolla]

Several. Sixteen, eighteen hours a day.

[Gina Grad]

Well, yeah, no, not all day. It's just sun up to sundown.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Gina Grad]

Well, that's during the summer months, obviously. It's a little bit longer. Yes. Hey, Jeff, your child has special needs.

[Gary]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

What is the. What is the need? Well, she has a Down syndrome. I have a child with down syndrome right now and a giant wooden wheel. Yeah. So I know firsthand how she's gonna be the face of my company. She's brilliant. How old is your child and how big is its wheel? She's about three and her wheel's about six foot in diameter. And do you use it for generating electricity or are you pumping water from the ground or are you running a textile mill? Because I've heard all different answers.

[Jim Jeffries]

He's not judging.

[Gina Grad]

Including some people that don't put their down syndrome kids on wheels at all. There are people, sawmills and such.

[Gary]

What?

[Gina Grad]

Like that sawmill? Mm. Smart, shrewd kid. Gets energy, exercise. You've seen some of those down syndrome kids. They balloon up. So we race that, number one number number two, a sense of purpose. And let's face it, I get a little something in return because I get to wet my beak, essentially. Because literally, you know, this is not gonna be a situation where they move out of the house at 18, start their own successful dot com business and lease daddy a Learjet. These are pretty much gonna be on my dime for quite some time. Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Unconventional, to say the least.

[Gina Grad]

All right, Jeff. Thank you very much. Fitz dog is out there.

[Jim Jeffries]

I think he got Jeff's vote.

[Adam Carolla]

Jeff thought he was alone in this big world.

[Gina Grad]

First, I'll tell you about smart mouth. Ah. Nothing ruins an intimate moment as quickly as the nasty breath. Smart mouth. Carry it with you, man. You take the two, the A and the B. I like that. You mix it, you activate it. Prevents bad breath for 12 hours. So you take it and it doesn't even come back. You take it before you go to bed, and it won't even come. You won't have the morning mouth, the morning breath. Two separate liquids. They combine, they activate zinc ions, they stop bacteria from producing sulfur gas. And for 12 hours, you got kissable breath. And if you've been out drinking, smoking, getting high, doing whatever you do out there, it's giving you that potty mouth. It is kind of weird that there is no, like, brunch hookup and there is no, hey, I just brushed my teeth and I'm leaving the house and walking the dog. Hook up at the YMCA because I was gonna swim some laps. It's all. Got some booze, some smoke, some toque, some whatever around it, some hors d' oeuvres. Someone ate a plate of buffalo chicken wings. Yeah. So let's freshen that breath up, man. Take it with you. Take the little pouch with you. Smart mouth. Find at Walmart, Target, Walgreens, cvs, wherever you shop. Smart mouth, baby. All right, quick break. Fitz Dog in studio. Next. Fitz dog in studio. Got a charity event coming up that's October 16th. Best buddies comedy benefit at the Comedy Store in Hollywood.

[David Wild]

We got your friend Mark nor MacDonald on it.

[Gina Grad]

Dear friend Norm MacDonald. Someone.

[David Wild]

Mark Marin.

[Gina Grad]

Drive him there. Mark Maron, Joe Rogan. Lots of good names. What does it benefit?

[David Wild]

Well, Best Buddies is a group that helps developmentally disabled people.

[Gina Grad]

Put them on wheels.

[David Wild]

I'm saying wrong. Intellectually disabled.

[Gina Grad]

Ah. Okay.

[David Wild]

It's hard because they always change.

[Gina Grad]

What you call. Everybody does that all the time. I know what it is.

[David Wild]

You get it. You get it?

[Gina Grad]

No, I get what the change is for.

[David Wild]

Oh, right.

[Gina Grad]

It's to correct. Yeah. Because as long as you're correcting, you get to dominate the conversation.

[David Wild]

Exactly.

[Gina Grad]

So if you're calling. Whether it's a group or whether it's a disability or whatever it is, you get to constantly correct the other person. And thus, you are the top in this gay couple. If you're the one who's telling you you're mispronouncing this or you're saying it wrong.

[David Wild]

Same sex couple.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, same sex. That's right. So either way. Oh, sorry. Either way. It is the correction. That's why we constantly do it.

[David Wild]

Well, it's a great charity, and what they do is they help people with intellectual disabilities to, you know, get jobs and internships and socialize and become part of mainstream society more. And I did a book bike thing with them from Boston to Cape Cod last summer is.

[Gina Grad]

How long is that? I'm from North Hollywood, 100 miles. The other thing, and I remember that I think I gave you a couple bucks.

[David Wild]

You did, as a matter of fact. You gave me a lot. You were my biggest donor.

[Jim Jeffries]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Jesus. I didn't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Best funniest.

[Jim Jeffries]

You signed off on that.

[Gina Grad]

So couple things. I agree with you. And. And it's like, I think people should. My wife, when she worked at abc, they had a guy, a challenged guy, working there, and, like, he did the Special Olympics and stuff, and he would, like, show up with his medals on. Yeah, he would show up with the medals on it, and everyone liked it. Like it wasn't a bummer or weird. He was the happiest guy.

[David Wild]

Happiest guy in the office. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You would be, too, if you're wearing 11 medals for jogging, you know, 100 meters.

[David Wild]

You know, I can't touch this, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

You're gonna.

[David Wild]

You're gonna do your little rant about this and I gotta sit here?

[Gina Grad]

No, I'm.

[David Wild]

Cause I'm the guy doing the benefit.

[Gina Grad]

I'm actually.

[Adam Carolla]

That gives you leeway.

[Gina Grad]

I think it's a good thing. Like, I do find. I mean, if you. If you do. I have a few friends who know, have a few siblings and stuff, and the folks afflicted seem to be in a better mood in general than most everyone.

[David Wild]

Well, every office that has somebody working in it that has a disability, they just.

[Gina Grad]

Hi, Gary.

[David Wild]

They make everybody's day. They come in and they go, hey, it's great to see you. How's your day? It's fantastic.

[Gina Grad]

Right?

[David Wild]

Good. Thanks for stopping by for three seconds. And making my day, you know.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, well, this is part and parcel of my. When you are, apply my two rules for everyone who's out looking for a job or going to get a job or switching jobs, pick an arbitrary date that's between 7 and 11 months from now to take a week off. Cuz you'll always get that week off. And we'll go with the down syndrome, son. But here's what I'm saying. Fitz dog, tell me as a boss, this has happened to me a million times. They go, you get the job on January 15th. And you say at that point like, thank you very much, excited to be part of the company, excited to get started. And then you pause and you go, I have something on the calendar. It's a wedding in Maui. This is my best friend. And that's coming up in October, seven months later. Yeah. And the boss always goes, oh yeah, yeah, of course. Like they'll never go, like f you get rid of it, send them a crock pot, you're done. You're not going to now. They always go, when's it now? Well, it's January 14th. They go, oh, when is this? This is October 17th through the 28th. And you go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, fine, that'd be fine. And then at some point, if you just want a free week off, you just go back up to the Boss like around October 1st, and you go, you do. I'm not, I'm not going to be here the last two weeks of October.

[Gary]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

And they go, what, what's going on? You go, remember I told you I had that, that thing that wedding in Maui was going to when I started? I told you. And they'll go, oh yeah, yeah, okay, we needed you. But fine, understood. I got. Yeah, I remember.

[David Wild]

You mean as opposed to like never getting a week off? Like if you don't do that, you'll just never get a week.

[Gina Grad]

I think you could get extra weeks off. This is the bonus.

[David Wild]

Bonus weeks.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Don't put it around Christmas and don't put it around 4th of July. Put it somewhere between Christmas and 4th of July shoulder season. Make sure it's a good seven, eight months from when you sign on the dotted line. The boss will never. He'll never remember going into it, but he'll remember the conversation. Remember Best friend Maui? Oh yeah, we're getting slammed. Okay.

[Gary]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. And he can't say no.

[David Wild]

And you put a picture of the guy up in your office. Yeah, this guy Billy is my best friend.

[Gina Grad]

Don't do it. Because you don't want to remind him. You can't even remind him. You tell him once when you sign on, and then you tell him about six days before you have to leave. And he can never deny you. He can never substantiate. Deny it. And he blames himself a little. Like, you go, I told you when I was getting. Yes, I remember, I remember. I just. I forgot. Sorry, sorry, sorry. And then you could go home and smoke weed for nine days.

[David Wild]

Yeah, just don't put anything on Facebook.

[Gina Grad]

Don't put it on Facebook. And you gotta get some of those macadamia nuts with chocolate on to bring back. So you get them at the Trader Joe's, but when you come back, just make sure it doesn't have the Pasadena Trader Joe's sticker on it.

[Adam Carolla]

Get a tan, too. Sit outside.

[David Wild]

Yeah, tan in a Photoshop. You on a surfboard.

[Gina Grad]

Don't overdo it. I mean, you don't have to do what you do. You went to the luau, right?

[David Wild]

I went to the luau. I come back and I got pork gravy on my chin.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, you did. Now what was. I remember you telling me about that. What was it?

[David Wild]

Oh, when I went to a luau in Hawaii. Oh, Jesus. It was at this place. And first of all, I hate luaus because it's like the Disney of Hawaii, you know, Hawaii is all natural rainforest surfing. And then you get there and it's some guy and he's charged. He was charging $150 a pop. My wife insisted we go. And you walk in and they snap the photo as soon as you get there. And it's the guy and he's got like six pack abs and he's tan. He's got his arm around my wife and he's looking at her, right? Like, I can have you, right? I can have you.

[Gina Grad]

Sure. Maybe I already had earlier in the day. Sure, sure.

[David Wild]

She's looking at him. My kids are looking at him and they're just thinking, God, you should have sex with my mom. And then I get the girl that comes over and she's got on like the coconut shells as a bra and the grass skirt, and she comes over. I'm supposed to put my arm around her, but I'm scared if I touch her, I'm gonna take her down to the ground. I'm gonna dry hump her in front of my family.

[Gina Grad]

I think you and me are the same way. I think all of us are. And that the fake version of something is worse than zero. It's depressing right?

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

I feel that same way about Americana like this. Places that sell, like, the fake 50s Happy Days jukeboxes, but they're made in Korea. This one was made in 2011.

[Jim Jeffries]

Manufactured fun.

[Gina Grad]

Everything is like wood grain, but as soon as you get up on it, it's got a weird texture to it. Like, it doesn't feel right. The stuff that's manufactured for the tourists. If there was such a thing as an authentic luau, you'd go, but the only luau there is is the fake Brady Bunch.

[David Wild]

Oh, no, this guy, I think he was a Puerto Rican. And then we go in and they had. They had this. The buffet was horrible. It was like out of a can. And then they did. It was Spam.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah.

[David Wild]

And they do the dance and they look like they're in pain. And then you walk out and they got everybody's picture up on the wall from when you first walked in.

[Gina Grad]

Sure.

[David Wild]

And they're like, okay, you can get the phone now. It's $35.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[David Wild]

And I go, we're not getting the photo. And my wife's like, how come we're.

[Gina Grad]

Not getting the photo?

[David Wild]

I go, because this place is a joke. My kid's like, we're not getting the photo.

[Adam Carolla]

We had so much fun, dad.

[Gina Grad]

We had so much fun.

[David Wild]

This is the greatest luau. We're not getting the photo. Well, why not? Because this is a post colonial wasteland where the indigenous people were put under slavery to pick sugar. And we're not getting the. So then I just took my phone and I said, snapped a picture of the picture on the wall.

[Gina Grad]

Oh.

[David Wild]

And walked away.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Jim Jeffries]

They don't like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Good, you showed them.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, now they have to for the pictures. Whether it's the. Whether it's the. Well, I guess everything's digital now, but when they used to do it, like at Disneyland with the roller coaster and stuff like that, it's either charge you 25 bucks or throw it away, Right?

[David Wild]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

They couldn't have a drawer of. Well, maybe the change of heart drawer. Like, maybe the guy comes back and forth and goes, my son, Tim. That was before he told me he was gay. And those were some of the happiest times of our lives. Last time, we really enjoyed each other. We're not speaking anymore, much less riding in the same fiberglass log. So we still have that much of.

[David Wild]

Our relationship, it turns out.

[Gina Grad]

I see the sloppy second straw over there. Is there an expiration date on that? If I could just go through. There's also a pretty attractive young Gal behind me who at the time I don't think was of age, but that. That was four and a half years ago.

[David Wild]

It was a wet T shirt contest.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, there was a lot of water going around. Yeah, she was probably 15, 16. Still in high school at the time, but now she's 19, 20. I mean, that's fair.

[David Wild]

She was post boobs, pre bra.

[Gina Grad]

Either way, if I could get that picture as well. Yeah, she's actually in my same picture.

[David Wild]

But I think you should be able to write. I think they should make a room in the back that they wallpaper with the saddest photos in the world, the ones that families did want.

[Gina Grad]

If you ever want to, like when people say, gary, now you gotta find the picture of Lynette and me and the kids or whatever at Disneyland. But if you want to, like, encapsulate, like, who my son is and who my daughter is, like, what is their personalities? My nanny, Olga, was asking me last night, do you think Sonny, in as nice a way as she could phrase it, it's gonna, like, stop being a puss at some point. Like, because his whole thing is, like, too dangerous. Too dangerous. Too dangerous. If you'd like to know his personality, her personality, all you have to do is look at the picture.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, maybe he's just scared of the drifter behind him.

[Gina Grad]

That's me with now my full beard and rams beanie on. There's me having a good time, my wife having a good time. We're at Disneyland. I think we're at the cars ride or something. We're going down. They always take the picture when you're dropping down the embankment and Sonny is blocking his ears and closing his eyes as hard as he can. He's doing what kids do when they see an evil clown in the corner of their bedroom. That's plan A, B and C. Like, if I close my eyes, ties a can and block my ears and pull the covers over my head. Natalia looks like she wants the thing to go faster.

[Jim Jeffries]

She's in the front row with a stranger because she wants to be the front row.

[Gina Grad]

Right, Right.

[Jim Jeffries]

That's fantastic.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. And that's all you need to know.

[David Wild]

And you who are leaning into it, like, can we put something bigger on the engine?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Can we go ahead and get a cat back exhaust system or a cold air intake? Let's do that. All right. Shall we do. Oh, by the way. So that's the benefit. That's October 16th. That's at the Hollywood. Sorry, Comedy Store in Hollywood. And then also, so a lot of big names in that. And then also Fitz Dog is going to be at flappers in Burbank November 17. It's a fun place if you guys haven't been there. More dates available on the website. Fitzdog.com. fitzdogg radio. Sorry, Fitzdog radio is where you go and fitzdog.com is the website. Yes.

[David Wild]

Nice. I love it.

[Gina Grad]

All right, let's do a little news, shall we? Give you the news with grad. News with Geno Grad show bids Congress Tech news Forces world news. Give me news with Gina Grad. Weird shit out of Florida Sex surveys. Obama need News with Gina. Gina. The news with Gina Grad.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, Julian Assange made his much anticipated announcement Tuesday morning via video link to a press conference in Berlin. But contrary to many Internet rumors and theories, he did not say anything that would damage Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign. Instead, he announced that by the end of the year, WikiLeaks will release 1 million documents relating to three world governments, Google and the military. He added that anything relating to the presidential election will be released ahead of November 8th. But he suggested that both Clinton and Donald Trump would have secrets exposed. Assange made the announcement from the Ecuadorian embassy in London, where he's been living in exile for the past four years because of a rape allegation.

[Gina Grad]

This, this whole. I think about it sometimes a little more from the Hillary standpoint than the Donald Trump standpoint. But now everybody, for anything running for any public office or anything, the worst thing, and everybody has this thing. If you've ever been sued, you'll have this feeling of like, oh, what do they have? What do they got? What did I say? What's going on out there? You comb through your mind, like, would I say something stupid? Is there a recording of me doing this or doing that? Like, when it's done on this scale? So what I'm saying is the worst thing you can do to me, and I think for most people is like your spouse calls you, or back in the day it was your dad or whatever, and he goes, listen, when you get home, we need to talk. And you go, it's noon. What's up? We'll talk when you get home.

[Adam Carolla]

It's better for face.

[Gina Grad]

Let's do it in person. Let's do this one in person. And you go, I'm going to be at work until 6:30. And then I got to sit in traffic. And they go, we'll just talk when you get home. And you just. Things start running through your mind like, what did I. Oh boy, who got My phone. What was I texting? What'd I do? Something. Stripper glitter. Something, something. So this thing that there's this guy out there that just has dominion over every thought you've ever had and ever recorded or put down on a piece of paper in the form of an email, and that there's so many emails out there and so many stupid things you've said that could be, you know.

[David Wild]

Taken out of context.

[Gina Grad]

Well, but I mean, racial slurs and just jokes. You know, some things can just be jokes. Some things can be a serious thing or whatever. And God knows Hillary and Trump have mountains of those things potentially that they know they sent somebody about something. Somebody dropped the C bomb on Lewinsky or something in some email.

[Adam Carolla]

It could be either one.

[Gina Grad]

Everybody, right? Just knowing it's just sitting there all the time, and this guy's gonna release it at his own discretion. It has to drive you nuts. Unless I think you need to be wired like a politician, in which case you just head hits the pillow and you pass out every night because essentially.

[David Wild]

Like, dying and going to if there's a heaven. And you know that. Like, what was the movie with Albert.

[Jim Jeffries]

Brooks, Defending your Life, Defending youg Life.

[David Wild]

Where you are now defending your life. You. There were no secrets. You are in that zone that I think the biggest fear I have is having to have my life looked at unequivocally from every angle by people that were omnipresent. And I realized I'm a bad person.

[Gina Grad]

And not only that, but you are in a room while we back to defending your life. Life. While we watched that video of you and you're sitting at the diner and you're 23 years old and you're with two of your buddies and you look down at the check and it says, oh, they never charged us for the beers. They just charged us for the burgers. They didn't charge a beer on this. And then someone goes, awesome. Don't say anything. Go pay. You're in a room filled with people who goes, I absolutely would have said something. What I would have done is called the waitress over me, immediately called the manager over, immediately pointed out this error in their tabulating, and then probably left a little extra check. So now not only are you being put through a jeweler's loop, but all the other jack offs around you are heroes. I would never use that language. I would never use, Right? So now it's even worse because you're in a room of people claim to be just squeaky clean and would never do that.

[David Wild]

Right. When I was. My mother in law stayed with us. And she had on a nightgown bra, and she bent over to put some stuff in the dishwasher.

[Gina Grad]

Slow down.

[David Wild]

And I was able to look down her blouse at her full breast. 72 years old. And I looked at her breast, and I didn't look away. Anybody could have looked. I kept looking. I'm gonna be accountable for that at some point now. There wasn't an email about it, but it's in my diary. They're gonna find my diary.

[Gina Grad]

He kept his diary underneath a tree. That's a Brad song, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Knowing Fitz is probably the least offensive.

[David Wild]

Thing in his diary.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

Least egregious.

[David Wild]

It's not so much that it's the worst thing I've done, but it would be the most embarrassing.

[Gina Grad]

No, that's like a junkie who slams heroin and speed together going, I am a bit of a chocoholic. That throws us off the trail, like. Well, he admitted to liking chocolate a little, little too much. So I guess he is a human after all.

[Adam Carolla]

There's Ted Bundy admitting defeating someone else's meter.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's right. It pulls you off. Yeah. Smart, shrewd meter. It's a shrewd move. Yeah.

[David Wild]

The old bait and switch.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Yeah. All right, what else we got?

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, some people aren't buying Kim Kardashian's run in with armed gunmen in Paris over the weekend in an opinion piece titled Kim Kardashian's Paris Robbery is Too good to Be True.

[Gina Grad]

True.

[Jim Jeffries]

Gersh Kuntzman of the New York Daily News says, this doesn't feel like a heist. It feels like a plot twist for a season premiere. Now, we talked about this yesterday. Kevin Pollock, sort of positive. That as well.

[Adam Carolla]

First thing we all thought.

[Jim Jeffries]

So this is. This is some of the questions raised in the article. He raises several questions. Here's some. Why did Kanye stop his concert mid rap, citing a family emergency, yet no rush to Paris to be with his wife? Why did Kim leave the City of Lights near.

[Gina Grad]

Wait a minute. Wait. He was in a different place city, right?

[Jim Jeffries]

He was, yeah. He was in New York.

[Gina Grad]

There's nowhere for him. He could have got on a plane or something. Like, why do. I mean, I don't know. I guess if you hear your wife is tied up or physically assaulted or something, you're allowed to stop.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And once you get backstage, get the word that she's safe, she's all shaken up. I think the first thing you do is, I gotta get to the plane.

[Jim Jeffries]

No, this guy. That's. This guy's problem is he wanted him on a plane to Paris.

[Gina Grad]

Toot sweet.

[Adam Carolla]

If she's in danger or harmed, then, yeah, I'm on the plane.

[David Wild]

If they call me and they say she's still tied up, then it's like, I'll get.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, here's a couple of others. Where's the concierge who was accosted by the gunman before giving them access to her apartment?

[Gina Grad]

And who is curious to talk to that fell y.

[Jim Jeffries]

Where are these surveillance pictures? What kind of thieves flee on bikes?

[Gary]

Oh, lots.

[Adam Carolla]

That makes sense.

[David Wild]

French thieves.

[Gary]

French thief.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. One guy stopping for baguette, put in the basket, like, come on. La bisi.

[David Wild]

Clatter.

[Gina Grad]

Vi. We don't have time. Time for this.

[Jim Jeffries]

Gary has something to add.

[Gina Grad]

Now, the guys who kill people and flee on bikes. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Bike's actually the most efficient one.

[Jim Jeffries]

You're hiding in plain sight.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, the guy. Yeah, we'll get to it. Sorry. Go ahead.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Apparently a Supreme Court justice is jumping on this as well. Justice Stephen Breyer came out suggesting that the theft might not have actually happened.

[Jim Jeffries]

If this shows up on Keeping up with the Kardashians, we will all be.

[Adam Carolla]

If this is the first half of the season.

[David Wild]

Wait, so we can't get a of bunch abortion through the Supreme Court, but they're talking about Kim Kardashian Prior.

[Gina Grad]

Wow. And why is he all right anyway?

[David Wild]

We can't stop women from slaughtering fetuses, and yet. Can I show my cards on that?

[Gina Grad]

No, it's okay. I'm a parent as well.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, and then in the wake of this robbery, Kanye has postponed shows on his tour in Philadelphia, Detroit. Those were set for this week. He's. It's due to family concerns. A new date will be posted in December, so they're really committed to it.

[Gina Grad]

Does he not want to do those shows? Because I feel like he already rescheduled them once. I. Oh, I get it. No, I. I'm not saying he's not, but I get. Also, you get a little burnt out and you, Fitz dog, you know, travel enough and kind of have that. I could. I could take a week off. Like. Yeah, that thing where it's like, look, she's all right. She's not harmed. She's now surrounded by a thousand security guards. I don't know. Do we need to cancel the show? That's in a week. Like, when we're gonna have even more security. She said she's fine. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[David Wild]

So why aren't there hotel security cameras that captured these guys images?

[Jim Jeffries]

This is a really weird building. Yeah, this is like a very, very exclusive private apartment building that basically doesn't have an address. It's for top tier celebrities. Very expensive. But y. Yeah, there's like a doorman because it's supposed to be very hard to find, very hard to get in and out of. So I don't know, but they thought that was good enough.

[Gary]

Mm.

[Jim Jeffries]

Do with that what you will.

[Gina Grad]

That'll be interesting.

[Jim Jeffries]

We'll find out.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So is that show losing some momentum or something?

[Adam Carolla]

Please, God, not in the Bishop household.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Christie loves that show.

[David Wild]

Is there a website or a number we can donate money?

[Gina Grad]

Well, why don't we take. Why don't we skim off some of the proceeds from the Best Buddies comedy? They have a number that's coming up. I mean, the point is, they don't need ornate jewelry, those people. They need jobs.

[David Wild]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

At the Comedy Store. Jobs.

[Gina Grad]

Job is free. As a matter of fact, jobs are better than free. They pay you for jobs. Whereas this super ornate jewelry is very expensive.

[David Wild]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

So if we could skim off a little that money that we're just throwing at these kids with the disabilities and give it to the Kardashians.

[David Wild]

Yeah, right.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[David Wild]

Buy him an earring or a brooch.

[Gina Grad]

Or a tennis bracelet, whatever.

[David Wild]

It all helps just to take the sting out.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

And you know what? I was thinking about this story earlier, and I guess I need to take a look in the mirror on this one because it's weird that people are reporting this as news and this could just be for a TV show. And I feel like this happens all the time. Like it's weird and irresponsible, but there's kind of nothing we can do about it because it's. It's news until we find out it's not.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it's.

[Jim Jeffries]

We find out it's a joke. So I don't know, it makes me feel weird.

[Gina Grad]

The tied up put in the bathtub. They always get out themselves.

[Jim Jeffries]

She wiggled her way out. They said.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Every movie I've ever seen, every. Every episode of Heart to Heart. What they do, what they would do in the. When the criminals would do in the 80s, is they put you and your wife back to back to back and.

[Jim Jeffries]

Then straight back chair.

[Gina Grad]

You'd be doing that thing where you had to talk through the side of your mouth. I'm pretty sure she could hear you even if you just spoke forward. Because it's Just an empty room that you're in. But you have to do that thing where you're like, is the letter opener on the desk? Yes, I see it. It's in front of me. Okay, on three, we're gonna walk over there. And then you do the scooch move that everyone was enamored with. Oh, that's such a funny move. Where they both get up back to back and scooch, scooch, scooch. Is there a little comedy? You get the letter, get the letter opener. Can you get it to me? At some point they get the dog. Scrappy doo. Come here boy. Come here, boy. There's something involving the dog that could help them. They simply didn't do a good job of tying up husband and wife teams.

[David Wild]

Well, they did it because they wanted you to get out. They were not killing you. So they did like a 12 minute tie job.

[Gina Grad]

You know what they were? There were like stitches that dissolved, right? Like dental stitches that would dissolve. They wanted them for a while.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold long.

[David Wild]

Yeah, but. But it's not, it's not forever.

[Gina Grad]

Not forever.

[David Wild]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And we don't want to see you back in the. In the seat, you know what I mean? Like we don't want to. We don't have to come back and untie you. You know what I mean?

[Jim Jeffries]

But if they ever did come back, that's the second you get it untied and then you have to pretend it's tied together.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that was another move too. Yeah, but guess who got cold cocked when he was getting a little cocky standing in front of the guy he thought was tiedye. Yeah, that. That one.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yep.

[Gina Grad]

That's the way they used to roll. So she untied herself, which was another one of those things. A little weird.

[Adam Carolla]

Feels like a movie thing.

[Jim Jeffries]

A red flag.

[David Wild]

Did she get. Was she sexually assaulted?

[Gina Grad]

I didn't want to go there, but I was gonna say I'm in. If she says one of them grabbed my booby, sure, then I'm in. Without that story, I don't know. Cuz I feel like as long as you're down with the kidnap or abduction or whatever, whatever it is, a physical assault and stealing more than a million dollars worth of personal, personal property stuff. Go ahead and tack booby, grab onto onto that pile. Because you're going away forever anyway.

[David Wild]

Give yourself a little something to think about. In for a penny while you're in the can.

[Adam Carolla]

In for a penny, in for a pound.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's right.

[David Wild]

And it is a pound.

[Gina Grad]

At least. Literally.

[David Wild]

Yeah, but think about that. That's not rape. That's not rape.

[Gina Grad]

That's what I'm saying. You make just a booby grab. How can it feel just a boo? It's a great pub story.

[David Wild]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, what you got to do, actually, if you're in that situation, grab the butt. Because then you can verify whether or not. Or not it's an implant. You have firsthand, no pun intended, firsthand information. Because everyone's like, oh, those implants gotta be implants. I found out I robbed her and I cut your butt.

[Jim Jeffries]

Gary's telling me she came out and said she feared rape, but they never touched her. They were very professional.

[Gina Grad]

Well, not professional. Rapist. Rapist. That's for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Amateur.

[David Wild]

Professional. What.

[Jim Jeffries]

What they wanted, which was jewels.

[Gina Grad]

Well, let's get Clouseau on the kick.

[Jim Jeffries]

Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte has a new endorsement deal for a hangover cure. A statement over the weekend was released saying Ryan Lochte has had an outstanding athletic career. We are honored to have him be our spokesperson for Migralex. Migralex is billed as the next generation headache fighter. Not just for hangovers. Also stress headaches and menstrual headaches.

[Gina Grad]

I love these poor. It's like I say all the time. Like, I'll say to my agent, you know, when they'll go, well, Comedy Central wants you to host the. Whatever. I'll go, who'd they ask first? When did they get to me? How many people did they. There's a Usual suspects. And, you know, when you're this company, you know, look, we can't afford LeBron James. You know, they gotta be. They had to have some sort of meeting where it's like, look, it's either Jeff Gillooly or we're going with Ryan Lotfi. I vote for Gillooly because I asked him. There's some name recognition. They can't remember what the name's from.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a curiosity factor.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. They connect them to the Olympics.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[David Wild]

And it's only available at gas station convenience stores.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

Here's a little ad for it. Dr. Mouse scops. Migralex headaches. Tension headaches, stress headaches, menstrual headaches and sinus headaches. It's a patented breakthrough formula, and Lockheed's gonna be hawking it.

[Adam Carolla]

Aspirin.

[Gina Grad]

All right.

[David Wild]

It's buffered with magnesium.

[Gina Grad]

Ooh. I will tell you this before our next story. Castrol. Yeah. Today's smaller engines, under a lot of pressure, working hard, putting out small displacement. Gotta work hard, man. A thin layer of oil it's all you have. Just a thin. Just skating those bearings, just skating a thin layer of oil. And if you get metal to metal contact, that's it. Little thin micro layer of oil. So why not have the best in there? Castrol Edge made with liquid technology. Titanium technology. 3 times stronger against viscosity breakdown. 3 times fool, 3 times fool. Than the leading full synthetic. Castrol Edge titanium. Strong, maximum engine performance, baby. Make sure your next oil change is a Castrol Edge change. Castrol baby. All right, what else?

[Jim Jeffries]

A series of athletic events that promote the healthy and responsible use of marijuana called the 420Games have been going on throughout the summer in California, Colorado and Washington.

[Gina Grad]

Can I show. Does everything need to turn into a lifestyle? You know what I mean? Like, I don't mind the guys who snowboard, but I don't need to know that they snowboard by seeing them at the mall during the week. You know what I mean? Or seeing the car they drive or surf or like whatever candidate or like whatever band or whatever it is. Like this. Or, hey, this guy's into rockabilly, or this guy's into hard rock, or this guy's into whatever. This arrow everything have to become a lifestyle. Can't somebody just go home and get high? I thought that was the whole point to drugs. Like, you went home, you closed the door, you pulled a little foil back where the curtain should be, and you went, you know, is Gladys the neighbor poking around out there? And then you shut it, and then you got high. Why does it have to turn into an entire lifestyle?

[David Wild]

Yeah, well, it's like homosexuality.

[Gina Grad]

It is.

[David Wild]

Like, just. Just go hide behind a curtain. Don't hold hands in front of me. Yeah, foil.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. You got your boyfriend go over there.

[David Wild]

Don't put it in my face.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I got an empty closet right in the hallway. Jump in, walk in.

[David Wild]

My wife's shoes are in there.

[Gina Grad]

No mince around in those.

[David Wild]

I know what you guys do. Unfortunately, no.

[Gina Grad]

Greg's. He's making light of this. But seriously, thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Enough joking around.

[Gina Grad]

I don't want to know the guy, super gay who's making the lifestyle. I don't want the super heterosexual guy with the Italian horn and the suede vest, tap out shirt. He's got the tap out shirt and Ed Hardy jeans. Like, just, please, let's not advertise what's going on internally to the world all the time. Just look at that. Smoke pot, run your marathons, love cats or dolphins, like, whatever you're into to fine. But let's not walk around like you're.

[David Wild]

Saying no bumper stickers.

[Gina Grad]

No, I don't like them. No, no, no. I mean, obviously there's the necessary ones, like no fat chicks and things like that where, you know, you have to let people know you know where you're at.

[Adam Carolla]

Warning.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, and there's obviously things like where you take the In N Out Burger bumper sticker and turn it at. Turn it into In N Out urge. You know, things like that. There's the necessity ones. Yeah, we don't want to endanger people. But other than America, are you saying.

[Brian Bishop]

You don't like the sports LA ones that let you know what people would rather be doing?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, there's those ones. Yeah, there's all the sport that's. Yeah, all. All the ones where they could be doing it.

[Adam Carolla]

People's other car that they're on the lice plate frame is always a nicer car. It's never, you know, on the Maserati mother cars, you know, or witch's broom.

[Gina Grad]

That has changed into a mountain bike or a horse or whatever. Yeah, mine is William Shatner. I ride him. Oh, yeah. Put a little twist on.

[David Wild]

What about the little, the little silhouettes of the family members in the back window.

[Jim Jeffries]

Stick figures.

[Gina Grad]

Don't need that now. That's giving way to what they're into, by the way. So we have to figure out that they're into wakeboarding too. There's that. I don't need that. I certainly don't need the Rolling memorial one where we found out Chewy bought the farm seven years ago. The one where you have to do the super, super depressing math where you're like, born in 94, died in 2015. What? Jesus Christ. Wow. That's the ones you have to do. It's funny, ironically, you don't have the one where it was like, oh, he was born in 1919, who died Wednesday. You don't have that. You have these weird ones where it's like he was born in. Geez, I graduated high school before this guy was. Now he's dead. Oh, wow, there's that one.

[Jim Jeffries]

Too long one. Very sad, loving memory of my beautiful daughter who was a victim of a violent CR by her husband and his friend. April 17, 1979, December 2011.

[David Wild]

Boy and his friend. I love that, by the way.

[Gina Grad]

My mind is reeling now as to what they did to this poor person who never saw her 30th or 31st birthday.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, this is going to combine two things that you love. This is weed and exercise. Because the 420 get features a 4.20 mile course and beer from the Lagunitas.

[Adam Carolla]

Lagunitas?

[Jim Jeffries]

Is that a thing from the brewery? The whole idea is to get rid of the stigma that people who smoke weed are lazy, unhealthy stoners. And to bring attention to many people who use the drug as part of a healthy lifestyle.

[David Wild]

Let's encourage it.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Here's the thing. There is no stigma if we don't know you smoke weed.

[Adam Carolla]

The stigma is you maintaining and there's.

[Gina Grad]

A stigma and a sort of negative association. Let's say masturbation. But you're not gonna form a 10k. Wait, hold on. Write that down, Jerry.

[Adam Carolla]

A 10ky.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Hey, Glendale. I need a major portion of Brand Boulevard on four Saturdays from now. We're doing a whole match because there's a negative connotation, a stigma. Hey, there's teenagers who are, you know, are very religious who kill themselves because of this. And I'm. I want to bring attention to the Masturbators 10K.

[David Wild]

Yes. Instead of handing up the little cups of Gatorade just towels.

[Gina Grad]

They just hand you towels and Nivea Kleenex. Yeah. That is one of the 10K's where you want to be on the front of the grid for and pretty much try to stay there as long as you can. It's going to be tough. If you drop the best speeds ever recorded. You don't remember back in that.

[David Wild]

Yeah, it. By the end it feels like you're running through a movie theater.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah. It's bad. Bad times. Bad times. Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, it looks.

[Gina Grad]

But I want to bring attention and get some rid of some of the negative stigma.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, absolutely.

[Gina Grad]

This is getting advocate. Will they be drug testing at this 420Games? Because it's kind of like the gay games. If the guy goes into fight at the. And he's not gay, but he just wants months ago like in the Hammer. From the Hammer.

[Jim Jeffries]

Good question. Very good question.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I would see. Yeah. I'll tell you my policy for the gay games. Yeah, yeah. The policy is we don't want some straight guys coming in here and, you know, beating up on some. This is legal gay bashing now. They have boxing or wrestling or something like that. But if you had some super angry straight guy just wanted a legalized version of him, basically gay bashing.

[David Wild]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

And I mean, so what I, I say, and I think this makes sense and I say this with all due respect. They have something called the 24 hours of lemons. 24 hours of lemons is a car race. But It's a junker car race. And they say, and I'll fudge the numbers here, but no car can be worth More than $500.

[David Wild]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

Now how do they enforce that? How do you verify that? How do you verify that? Well, we walk to the first. We walk and inspect all the cars, and if we see one that looks like a ringer, like, no way. This thing's a sweet ride. There's no way to find it. We put it in the crusher.

[David Wild]

Yeah. Oh, oh, you lose your car.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So that ensures that people don't do this. I see with the gay games, we line them all up. Everyone's gay, right? Yep. Just come walking out front, just drop those pants, pull it out randomly, start sucking. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

To verify.

[Gina Grad]

Just to verify, if it doesn't get.

[David Wild]

Erect, you put it in the crusher.

[Gina Grad]

No, no, this is for the judge. I can't believe how far off you would be on this Fitz dog. This is for the participants.

[David Wild]

Oh, I see.

[Gina Grad]

And I'm saying we get Terry Crews or a fellow of that nature to, you know, just sort of walk the line. He stops.

[Jim Jeffries]

The white glove.

[Gina Grad]

He stops in front of one guy and he drops it. You know, that's enough, I think, to keep away just about any gay bashing straight guy joining in. You see what I'm saying? Yeah.

[David Wild]

To save yourself, you'd have to really. Do you think you could generate wood under pressure like that?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, no, he'll have wood.

[Adam Carolla]

You're a participant.

[Jim Jeffries]

You're the one who has to.

[Adam Carolla]

25 people lined up, right?

[David Wild]

Oh, I see.

[Gina Grad]

We're here to test the participants to.

[Adam Carolla]

Prove you're part of the game legitimately.

[Jim Jeffries]

Get down there.

[Gina Grad]

And I like it, but yes, anyway. Yes. All right, let's work that out.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, it looks like things are calming down between Brad and Angelina. On Friday, the two reached a temporary custody agreement. The deal covers three weeks during which Angie will have full custody, full physical custody of their six children. Brad will have visitation rights, so his first visit will be supervised by a therapist who will decide whether or not future meetings will be monitored. The actor will also be subject to random drug and alcohol testing. The two stars will undergo.

[Gina Grad]

How weird is that gotta be for the therapist? I mean, normally it's like, well, this guy, he's a long haul trucker. He's an alcoholic. His kids were taken away. You've got to go verify that he's not drinking when he's in front of his kids. He's got an apartment in Van Nuys. It's nothing special, but you just have to sort of sit in there, bring some reading material or something. It's gotta be weird. You're standing next to Brad Pitt, right? And you gotta just play pretty cool. Play pretty cool. And at a certain point, like 20 minutes in, don't you have to go like Ocean's? 11 was good. I mean, I don't know about 12, but either way things seem to be going pretty good. But 13 was nice comeback. Just saying. I mean, it's weird shape for fight club. Yeah, it's weird not to say anything, right?

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah. They're going to keep real quiet because this might be going on for a while. At the end of the three weeks, the Department of Children and Families Family Services will decide if the custody agreement needs amendment or will be submitted to divorce court. So depending on how he rolls, they could always have a monitor.

[David Wild]

Yeah, I mean, let me decide whether he should go with the kids should go with him or the woman who has blood around her neck and makes out with her brother, who's more fit.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that happened. Her brother's pretty hot. Pretty hot, though. But I have this theory that she. She was victimized in one way, shape or form at some point in her life. The cutting on herself and the suicidal thoughts and I think running away from home and vials of blood and stuff like that. I get the feeling.

[David Wild]

And doesn't talk to her father.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. Something was done. Well, now that he's voting for Trump, I think she's gonna mend that bridge. But she wasn't formally talking to her father and I think she was a victim and I think she's now reliving that somehow in some form. This is my Loveline experience talking.

[Jim Jeffries]

Do you think that's why she has six kids and she's adopting kids, sort of saving herself.

[Gina Grad]

There's a thing of that. And at some point she's gonna turn her partner into a victimizer. Whether it's him or not. I get this feeling. I don't feel like that's Brad Pitt's vibe, do you?

[Adam Carolla]

No, he, he's. I always heard it's notorious. Like speaking of the weed, a stoner. And he's like a very laid back guy, like just in his sort of his mode. You know what I mean?

[Gina Grad]

I think she has to get the brood of kids and then recreate this circumstance where she needs to protect her kids from this abuser.

[David Wild]

Interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

To create a sort of narrative.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah. It's a pattern, a theme. Yes. Which, which happens all. It's the look it's the. You know, every single chick who married an alcoholic was. Well, tell us about your dad. He was an alcoholic. And so the people who should know firsthand the horrors of being married to an alcoholic always marry an alcoholic, even though they grew up with an alcoholic. It's a recreation kind of thing. And I don't know, I do feel like either they will marry that person, which they oftentimes do, or they will sort of create that person, because I don't know. Do you like this part where it's like, I'm scared. I feared for my life. I'm scared around the children. Has there ever been anything to suggest in the 12 years those guys have been together, or even before that, with Brad Pitt, that he'd go into these. You know, look, you know all about Sean Penn, right? Like, that was Sean Penn. He was on a plane, he got drunk, he pulled out a shovel, he was going insane. He started. That's right. But I don't feel like the.

[Jim Jeffries]

This has never. This never made a headline.

[David Wild]

Well, it's weird that it came out the day after they announced their divorce. The timing of it was a little suspect. All right, but do you think if you adopt all those kids as a couple and you split up, do you have to give the kids back to their native countries? To their native countries.

[Gina Grad]

No deposit, no return.

[David Wild]

That's it.

[Gina Grad]

I think she could win this whole thing in front of the judge with the custody and everything because Brad's such a stoner and he's jet settings all over the world making movies and everywhere, and they have, you know, 11 kids. She should just go, brad, just tell me which kids you would like to be at your house this weekend. And he'd go, tim and Pan. Pan. And what's the.

[Jim Jeffries]

You mean Pax.

[Gina Grad]

What's the Laotian one? Or what's up dude's name?

[Jim Jeffries]

Sahara.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, you don't even know. Well, I know the white ones, but the other ones have crazy names. Yeah, Zakari or something.

[Jim Jeffries]

Zahara.

[Gina Grad]

Zoolander.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, close.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, she can come. And then the judge go, look, if you don't know your kids names, we can't even. Hey, I know their last names. Come on, give me a break. Yeah, yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, Rolling Stone magazine decided to try and rank the best TV shows of all time by polling actors, writers, producers, critics, showrunners. They came up with a list of 100. I have the top 10. Would you wager any guests?

[Gina Grad]

I will. But now when Rolling Stone does this, they always anger me with music, but I don't Think they're gonna anger me because this particular time.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, and this is. This covers the gamut of talk shows, sitcoms, animated, everything talks.

[Adam Carolla]

Like Tonight. Shows eligible, for example.

[Jim Jeffries]

Just saying.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Because I don't think there isn't a Lou Reed TV show that's gonna sneak on there and make you angry. You know what I mean? Or even a Frank Zappa TV show that's gonna get in there and make you angry. You're not gonna argue with MASH or All in the Family or the Tonight show or something like that?

[David Wild]

No, no. They may try to sneak in a transparent or something.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah. Hey, I got a way to figure out if you're really transgendered or not. That I'm gonna get into with Fitz Dog off the air. Diabolical. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Okay, so there's. Now there's gonna be a couple of Jack off shows that no one ever watches that they got.

[Jim Jeffries]

Seem to be fairly acclaimed.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, well, not gonna make you too mad. Okay. There's gotta be a Larry Sanders offering.

[Adam Carolla]

In there, because Arrested Development. One of those.

[Jim Jeffries]

I thought there would be two. There is not. I'll go ahead and assume that was number 11.

[Gina Grad]

Sopranos.

[Jim Jeffries]

That's number one.

[Adam Carolla]

I was gonna say Sopranos number one.

[Gina Grad]

Sopranos number one. Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

That was my guess.

[David Wild]

I'm gonna say all in the families in the top three.

[Jim Jeffries]

Number nine.

[Gina Grad]

Breaking Bad's gotta be in there.

[Jim Jeffries]

Number three. Seinfeld number five.

[Gina Grad]

We gotta get some diversity in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Cosby Show.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, not Big Louis Guy.

[Jim Jeffries]

No, but you can't pull your head out.

[Gina Grad]

You can't put good times in there. Oh, the Wire. Gary says for a little diversity.

[Jim Jeffries]

Number two.

[David Wild]

Yeah, that one annoys me because I like it. But everyone wants to say how great.

[Gina Grad]

It's not that great. All right, but I told you, we can't go full honky. Top to bottom, top tail. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Is SNL in there?

[Jim Jeffries]

It is number eight.

[David Wild]

What about Simpsons?

[Gina Grad]

Gary, you. Gary's putting them. Putting notes on here.

[Jim Jeffries]

Married with Children did not make the list.

[Gina Grad]

Cheers.

[Jim Jeffries]

Simpsons. However, number six.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, that makes sense.

[Jim Jeffries]

And now we still have one, two, three left. MASH did not make the top ten. I Love Lucy did not make the top.

[Gina Grad]

Rhoda?

[Jim Jeffries]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Lost the Honeymooners?

[Jim Jeffries]

No. I would say these are got to be new shows. Well, I would say they're all modern except for one.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm trying to say there's one old timey representation.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Was my guess Game of Thrones?

[Jim Jeffries]

No. Didn't make the top 10.

[Gina Grad]

Sigmund the sea Monster.

[Jim Jeffries]

Close. No.

[Adam Carolla]

Is Tonight show or something like that.

[Jim Jeffries]

One of them There is a the something show.

[Adam Carolla]

Oprah Winfrey.

[Jim Jeffries]

No.

[David Wild]

American Girl.

[Jim Jeffries]

Nope.

[Gina Grad]

Tim Wayne and Duncan, the Daily Show. Number 10.

[Jim Jeffries]

You have two left. One is modern, one is a classic.

[David Wild]

Modern Family.

[Gina Grad]

No, that's a very good show, by the way. I know.

[Jim Jeffries]

I can give you a hint. One is modern, but it is about. It's a throwback period piece.

[Adam Carolla]

A Mad Men.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Jim Jeffries]

That is number four. And number seven, the Twilight Zone.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, okay. All right.

[Jim Jeffries]

Pretty decent list.

[Gina Grad]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Not a lot to quibble with there.

[Gina Grad]

No, I didn't. I never watched a Wire. All I know that when we were in Atlantic City at the Benihanas or whatever the Japanese food place was, we're over there. And Mike August never stops talking about the Wire. It's his number one favorite show. And I've never seen an episode of the Wire. And we had this waitress, young waitress, and I think Mike was raving her, like, don't you recognize this guy? He's pointing at me for like basic cable or anything like that. And she's like, I don't have cable. I can't afford cable. I don't. You don't watch any of the shows? I don't watch any. You don't watch Jimmy Kimmel Show? I don't watch Jimmy Kimmel Show. Do you know who? Literally never heard of anything. And then at some point she went, well, the only thing I watch is the Wire. And Mike went, all right, well, we'll have the twice fried pork. And I said, mike. And he's like, huh? She didn't watch. You grilled her on TV for 20 minutes. Yes. And then she mentioned the only show that she ever watches because she watches it online or something is the Wire. And then you let that one go completely, but you're obsessing off of her not watching Fox and Friends. And he's like, I have to prod him. I have to poke him to be a human being. He doesn't care about things all the time because he didn't care. All right, all right. So the Wire. Is that really number two or are we trying to get a little diversity in there?

[Jim Jeffries]

Every smart person loves it.

[Brian Bishop]

That is a very, very smart show.

[Jim Jeffries]

I have been shamed many times by being sort of mediocre on it.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a great show that people with taste when they actually watch it all.

[Gina Grad]

Go, come around and go, yeah, that.

[Jim Jeffries]

Was a shot fired. Yeah.

[David Wild]

It really is a very white lineup, though, at List.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah.

[David Wild]

Without the Wire, it's true.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

Leans heavy.

[Adam Carolla]

Twilight's always black and white.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, Brian.

[David Wild]

Nice one, Brian.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, nice. Yeah, and light on the Asian as well. All right, let's bring it home.

[Jim Jeffries]

You got it, girl. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Gina Grad]

Gina, Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that is it for today's Crawl Classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for all new installment.

[Gina Grad]

Until then, hollow and get it on ever.