Jimmy Kimmel + David Alan Grier (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show: Jimmy Kimmel + David Alan Grier (Carolla Classics)

Release Date: June 1, 2025
Host/Authors: PodcastOne / Carolla Digital

---

1. Introduction

The episode kicks off with Adam Carolla and Giovanni introducing "Cruel Classics," a segment dedicated to showcasing memorable moments from the 16-year run of The Adam Carolla Show. They briefly mention a companion podcast, "Coral Classics," accessible through Podcast One Premium, which offers ad-free archives and exclusive content.

---

2. Screening of "Road Hard" and Feedback

[00:35 - 06:10]
Adam discusses the screening of his movie, "Road Hard," emphasizing the importance of gathering honest feedback from non-fans to gauge the film's clarity and reception.

• Adam Carolla: "You can be anything, but you can't be confusing."
  [03:30]

He shares anecdotes about bringing his jump rope platform to the screening and demonstrates a rope maneuver that inadvertently lands between two startled individuals.

• Adam Carolla: "I slipped my little jump rope move... it lands in between the two frightened people."
  [07:17]

Despite his efforts to stay incognito during the screening, Adam expresses satisfaction with the audience's genuine reactions.

---

3. Discussion on Sugar Ray Robinson's Biography

[10:19 - 15:08]
The conversation shifts to Sugar Ray Robinson, hailed as one of the greatest boxers of all time. Adam highlights Robinson's impressive record and his multifaceted life beyond boxing, including tap dancing.

• Adam Carolla: "He had like 130 fights before his first loss. He was amazing."
  [11:10]

A humorous yet dark tale unfolds about Robinson having a premonition of causing a fatal injury in the ring, leading to an intense grand jury investigation.

• Adam Carolla: "He knew he was in trouble when he signed the contract."
  [14:56]

---

4. Promotion of "Code Black" Documentary

[25:07 - 33:33]
Allison Rosen passionately promotes the documentary "Code Black," directed by a real-life doctor, offering an unfiltered look into the chaos of LA County Memorial Hospital's emergency room.

• Allison Rosen: "This film is a behind-the-scenes look at that emergency room... a powerful movie."
  [25:07]

Adam and the team delve into snippets from the documentary, discussing the grueling environment and the immense pressure faced by medical professionals.

---

5. Tales from the Cheap: Money and Spending Habits

[33:33 - 44:44]
In the "Tales from the Cheap" segment, the hosts share personal anecdotes about frugality and the complex relationship people have with money. Topics range from inefficient appliances like dishwashers to the psychological aspects of spending and saving.

• Adam Carolla: "People have a weird relationship with money and they really shouldn't."
  [39:32]

The discussion touches on generational differences in money handling, the impact of upbringing on financial habits, and the societal pressures related to income and spending.

---

6. News Segment: Colorado Rockies' Misspelled Jerseys

[64:18 - 65:31]
The news segment highlights the Colorado Rockies' humorous blunder of misspelling Troy Tulowitzki's last name on 15,000 replica jerseys.

• Adam Carolla: "They misspelled his last name... it's now a collector's item."
  [64:59]

The hosts speculate on whether the error was intentional to create a viral moment, drawing parallels to past marketing strategies involving intentional mistakes.

---

7. Callers and Special Guests: Jimmy Kimmel and David Alan Grier

[74:16 - 144:04]
The episode features engaging interactions with callers, including a notable appearance by Jimmy Kimmel and discussions with comedian David Alan Grier. Conversations range from personal stories, Super Bowl predictions, to humorous exchanges about household anecdotes.

• Jimmy Kimmel: "My aunt was possibly the cheapest person I know... she would ask a manager if she could get a discount on dishes."
  [47:56]

• Adam Carolla: "And then you get the passion fruit. And then it'd be ruined."
  [19:06]

The dynamic banter provides listeners with entertaining insights into the hosts' lives, their relationships, and their humorous takes on everyday situations.

---

8. Super Bowl Bet and Game Analysis

[143:36 - 144:44]
A significant portion of the episode revolves around discussing a past Super Bowl game where the New England Patriots emerged victorious against the Seattle Seahawks. The hosts analyze the game's pivotal moments, betting outcomes, and the broader implications for sports enthusiasts.

• Matt Fondelier: "I bet five grand on the game, and the Patriots just won."
  [103:16]

• Cousin Sal: "I was like, I'm right now dead inside."
  [97:00]

They dissect critical plays, such as the famous "Tyreek Catch," and the overall performance of key players like Tom Brady and Russell Wilson, providing both analytical and comedic perspectives.

---

9. Closing Remarks and Promotions

[144:45 - 146:08]
The episode concludes with playful promotions for ProFlowers and various upcoming events. The hosts share light-hearted moments, expressing gratitude for their guests and listeners, and hinting at future episodes and collaborations.

• Adam Carolla: "Download the realtor.com app... you're nearly home."
  [145:49]

• Gary: "All right, that's the Adam Carolla Show 1382. Hang out next week for more Coral Classics."
  [87:33]

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Adam Carolla: "You can be anything, but you can't be confusing."
  [03:30]

• Adam Carolla: "When he signed the contract was kind of a badass answer."
  [15:08]

• Allison Rosen: "This is a behind-the-scenes look at that emergency room... a powerful movie."
  [25:07]

• Adam Carolla: "People have a weird relationship with money and they really shouldn't."
  [39:32]

• Jimmy Kimmel: "She was a barter... camping trips with the intention of not spending money."
  [47:59]

• Matt Fondelier: "I bet five grand on the game, and the Patriots just won."
  [103:16]

---

Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a blend of humor, personal stories, insightful discussions on movies like "Code Black," and engaging interactions with guests and callers. From analyzing sports events to exploring the intricacies of financial habits, Adam and his co-hosts provide listeners with an entertaining and thought-provoking experience.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Foreign.

[Giovanni]

Welcome to Cruel Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the podcast.

[Giovanni]

We play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Carolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Coral Classics with ad free archives exclusively available through Podcast One Premium. You can also find ad free archives for The Adam and Dr. Drew show, the Adam Carolla show, as well as exclusive access to the brand new show, Beat it out through Adam Carolla's substack.

[Allison Rosen]

Adamcorolla.Substack.Com make sure to check out and subscribe.

[Giovanni]

And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsdamcarolla.com all right, let's get to the clips coming up. First we have Adam Carollo Show 1382 featuring Allison Rose and Brian Bishop from 2014.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Allison Rosen.

[Brian Bishop]

Hello, Adam Carolla.

[Allison Rosen]

And bald Bryan Noeetzeke wanted that one on Twitter with the hashtag top drop.

[Adam Carolla]

Who is that?

[Brian Bishop]

Brad Williams.

[Allison Rosen]

Brad Williams. What is he talking about here?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I don't know, but talking about.

[Brian Bishop]

The different quality of hookers.

[Adam Carolla]

It's such a, it's such a. It's so much noise coming from such a small area. No, it's amazing.

[Brian Bishop]

He's like one of those little, what are those little can horns that you press down on?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like they're gonna. The air horn. Like they're gonna start the regatta, the boat race. It's Brazilian fans watching the world. So Gary says, all right, first a quick video. We were talking about me skipping my rope and having my power meeting. It's a real, it's a sign you've arrived when you're exercising and dictating, doling out orders at the same time. And I've just because of my schedule, some days I come here and I can't, I'm not going to go home until that night. We went and screened Road Hard. And so I brought my little platform that I skipped my rope on and brought my rope and brought some extra shorts and stuff. And I.

[Brian Bishop]

You're like a real Madonna. I feel like this is something she would do.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, look, it's one of these things where I'm leaving my house at nine in the morning and I'm coming here and here, another shop, whatever. I'm editing, I'm doing this, I'm doing that, I'm doing the other. And then by the time we finish doing what we're doing, I'm going to Hollywood to screen this thing. When I say screen, it's like, don't Be offended. It's a test thing. It's not like I hadn't even thought to be. I brought my friends with me. No, the whole point is bring people. Have as many people who aren't familiar with. You don't know, you don't necessarily like. You get them to watch it.

[Allison Rosen]

There should be a lot of people to choose from.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, well, Gary threw himself in. I told him he's going to have to sit on the stairs if he wanted to come. But the point is, get as many people as you can to come that aren't fans, so to speak, and then get them to fill out something. Ask them if they're confused, what they liked, what they didn't like.

[Brian Bishop]

So it's interesting that you're putting your faith in the masses because in general, I thought you just have scorn for them.

[Adam Carolla]

I have scorn for them, yes. I hate everybody when it comes to what's funny, but I'm not really asking them what's funny. It's like, what were you confused by? What didn't you know? They'll do a lot of. I thought that was the daughter of the other guy. Didn't know that was just a friend of the daughter or whatever. There's a lot of that. And so as I've always.

[Brian Bishop]

You're too close to get that eye view of it.

[Adam Carolla]

You end up cutting and mixing and matching so much. You start cutting out so much stuff that you forget that you cut out the A and the B and you're left with the C. But A and B are still in your head and everyone's head. And then you realize when you watch it in front of other people, oh, how would they know who that was? You cut all that shit out. But then we just have the end part. So as I say to people all the time, you can be anything, but you can't be confusing. That's sort of the way I think when I make a movie. Like, not every joke's gonna land with a huge laugh. Not every. Not everyone's gonna be in love with. You know, there's 15 characters in this movie. Not everyone's gonna love every character in the movie. Not every storyline is gonna be the strongest because you can't. You can't have, oh, the father daughter relationship, but the new love relationship. But how about the comedy and on the road and how about his best friends? Like, you can't. The movie would be nine hours long if somebody said, well, I thought. I don't mind somebody saying, I thought this relationship was a little Weaker than the other one. Or I like this person a little more than I like the other person. But what you can't have them say is, oh, I thought he was her or him. I was confused. You can't have. I was confused. And so you show it to people and you get the feedback. What were you confused about? And they'll tell you, and then you'll. Once in a while you'll go, oh, fuck them. Come on. That's both. We made it clear. And then other times you go, oh, shit. Yeah. I guess we didn't really say what he was doing or blah, blah, blah. So you do that. But because I was gone all day, I bring my little jump rope platform.

[Allison Rosen]

Which is the screening. Was it successful? Did you find out what you wanted to know?

[Adam Carolla]

I honestly.

[Allison Rosen]

He must have had, like. I hope. I wonder if people are going to bring this up or that kind of thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I have not. Gary, you can tell me. First thing you do is you just sneak in the back at the end. I mean, at the beginning. Sorry. And then. Right. And then you just sneak out again. Because you don't want to contaminate things by grabbing the microphone and going up front going, I hope you all enjoy it. I put my heart, my blood, sweat, and tears into this. This is my baby.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. A star like you needs to stay under the radar.

[Adam Carolla]

I got to stay under the radar. I don't want any false readings from anybody, and I don't want them watching a movie knowing that I'm sitting in the back of the theater.

[Gary]

And.

[Adam Carolla]

And I don't want any false laughter. Kind of like, they know. Course you think about how your reaction would be if you knew the star of the movie was sitting in the back of the theater versus thinking he's back in Glendale. So I didn't want that before and then after. I don't want to come out and say, hey, I was here now. Thank you for. I don't want all that because I want their honest, not here reaction. That's the plan.

[Allison Rosen]

Makes sense.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So we just slide in at the beginning and then sneak out at the very end. And as far as everyone goes, you wait till lights go off, slide in. But you do want to see people's reaction, and you do want to see how it feels. I think it feels good. I think I got a lot of laughs. Yeah, absolutely. I thought it was great.

[Allison Rosen]

And just to quell everyone's fears, Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

Rosen is still in there and looks great.

[Brian Bishop]

Everyone's in. Everyone's number one thought.

[Adam Carolla]

Pins and needles. So it's going very nicely. And then we'll get the next round of data to sort of put together and that'll probably be about it. Anyway, I brought my jump rope stand in, which is two by fours up on their edge, framed up with the plywood on it. I've skipped my rope and given notes. And then I do my jump rope move where I dismount. I let the thing go and it lands in between the two frightened people. The two frightened people that are sitting on the sofa. But no one really seemed to believe me. At least Max Zapata didn't believe me that I can do my dismount with the rope because it's unwieldy. You just let it fly from over your head and like 13ft later it's supposed to land somewhere.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I think he didn't believe that you did it on purpose. He thought that you narrowly avoided them. But then you claimed that. No, you know exactly what you're doing when you basically hurl a knife across the room and it lands right above someone's head.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's more two throwing stars attached to a tether. But. Yeah, I know what you're saying.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So then I did it again, and then it landed in the middle of.

[Brian Bishop]

The sofa again, as you said when he said you could have taken out their eyes. Oh, big loss.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. We'll get some other peon in here for 19 bucks an hour. We'll hit the ground running. Maybe. Maybe an improvement. So anyway, then what happened is Mike Altier actually filmed it. And so I said, no, now you can film it. You can see. So instead of just yapping about it, you can hear what I was doing. Talking about. All right, so we can watch. 10 seconds. That's what we do all day.

[Cousin Sal]

Right there.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's between the two sofa pillows now. Matt Fondelier's on one cushion and Mike would have been on the other cushion, but he was filming. Filming me. And I wedged it in between the two, the center and the.

[Brian Bishop]

Can we possibly see that one more time? Because it flew so fast.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you can't see it in the air, but you just sort of. I forgot to snap it in my pose right there.

[Brian Bishop]

Impressive.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I got that. I would have been good at something. Feeling plate spinner, you know, something like that.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. Are you good at darts?

[Adam Carolla]

No, but I. I would have been good at any. Any of. Like. I would have made a good flying Willinda or any of. Any of the flying group folks off. Yeah, any. Anything on a unicycle and a tight tightrope or any. Any of that kind of stuff I would have been good at, But I mean, never. I never really pursued anything.

[Allison Rosen]

You know what you would have been good at? Because I think it came a little after your time was drinking games like beer pong and all those things like fine motor skills, drunkenness. Two things you're great at.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Being drunk and performing pinpoint accuracy. Yeah, yeah. If you want to see the video, you can check out our Instagram at Corolladigital. It's a little fun little ditty. All right. And for those of you who ask all the time, as far as jump ropes go, plastic is always better than leather or yarn or rope or whatever. I don't know why. Yeah, it's just a plastic bead and a ball bearing and just pla. It's super simple. Just 8 bucks and get it to the right length. Tie a knot or two on the side of it so it comes up. It's kind of like if you put your foot on it and you hold it up, it comes up to a bunch of titties. I'd say that's about the right. About the right length. You don't want it too long, you don't want it too short.

[Brian Bishop]

Or a little higher if you're an older lady.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that's a good point. That's a good point. Yeah. You go up past the nipple 25 millimeters every four years. If you're a lady past the age of 35, we'll post the chart on Adam.com. that's right. That's right. All right. Speaking of skipping rope, there was this weird thing. I was watching this Sugar Ray Robinson bio over the weekend. Sugar Ray Robinson's incredible, amazing. Probably the best boxer of all time. Now, everybody talks about Muhammad Ali and they throw around some other names in there, but Sugar Ray Robinson, first off, had like 130 fights before his first loss. Number one. Number two had a span of like eight years.

[Allison Rosen]

Is it weird that there were two Sugar Rays? I mean, obviously decades apart.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they named. Everyone named themselves after Sugar Ray Robinson. He was Sugar Ray Robinson. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

The band didn't come first, Brian.

[Allison Rosen]

You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

No, the band went after Leonard and Leonard went after Robinson.

[Allison Rosen]

Gotcha.

[Adam Carolla]

Robinson had a span. You can imagine this, like an eight year span where he won like 92 fights and was undefeated in all of them. A pretty fucking good run. He ended up being like 174 or something. This is insane. He had titles and I don't know, four divisions and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just like he had like a fought for 25 years. He was amazing, amazing fighter, like way before his time. But he had this. He was. He had a crazy life, you know, he was a dancer, tap dancing, all that kind of stuff. Took like three years off to just dance. And just one of these guys that was too talented and didn't really have that much competition, so he wanted to keep challenging himself, you know, like me with the jump rope throw and alpha.

[Allison Rosen]

Predator of the world.

[Adam Carolla]

So he had this thing where he killed a guy in the ring.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

And he had the premonition the night before. Like he had the dream the night before. And you go, all right, everyone kind of says that, but he had the dream the night before and then he went to the commission and he said, like, I don't want to fight today. And they went, you should fight. And I'll play the little clip and I'll let you hear it. But then at the end I will fill in, you know, those things, like the baddest ass things you can say, or like, you know, having your hands registered in a county or something, things like that.

[Allison Rosen]

Weapons.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Just the kind of shit you'd love to have on your resume. I'll tell you what he said about it after you listen to the clip.

[Matt Fondelier]

The night before the fight with him.

[Gary]

I dreamed in my sleep that I.

[Adam Carolla]

Knocked him out and he died in the ring.

[Gary]

And I got up that morning and.

[Matt Fondelier]

I told the commission that I wasn't going to fight. And they said, why?

[Gary]

And I told them what I had dreamed.

[Matt Fondelier]

It's all Ray. No, that's just a dream.

[Gary]

And they called a Catholic priest and.

[Adam Carolla]

A minister and they came and they talked to me and told me to.

[Matt Fondelier]

Go ahead with the fight. And just like we dreamed Aldo, I hit him a left hook and he died right there in the ring. It's terrible when you have a premonition before, you know, I had the premonition before that this was going to happen. And for a long time, although I.

[Gary]

Couldn'T fight, I couldn't fight.

[Matt Fondelier]

When I started again, I couldn't hit a man hard. You know, I was very trying.

[Adam Carolla]

They had a. So you want to hear the baddest ass answer on the planet? He's a nice, he's a gentleman, but he just happened to be very good at boxing. He didn't like hitting people.

[Brian Bishop]

He didn't want to hurt anybody.

[Adam Carolla]

He was 173 and 19. He. That was his lifetime record. He liked making a bunch of money for punching people, but he didn't really like punching people. But later on, they had some grand jury investigation because Guy died, you know, so they brought him up in front of the grand jury and they wanted to question him. Although I don't know what the questions are. I was punching the guy in the head and he died, you know, he punched me in the head, and I would have died, but I punched him harder in the head. But anyway, they said to Sugar Ray Robinson, when did you know that he was in trouble? And he said, when he signed the contract and I shot. That's the fucking most badass answer. You just kill the guy in the ring. And he knew he was in trouble when he signed the contract.

[Allison Rosen]

Holy smokes.

[Adam Carolla]

And I don't think he was being a douche.

[Brian Bishop]

I just think that's how much he knew.

[Adam Carolla]

That's how much he knew.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's how good he was.

[Allison Rosen]

That's terrifying.

[Adam Carolla]

When he signed the contract, like, oh, my eerie God.

[Brian Bishop]

Who are the priest and the minister? They called in, like, is this. Are they on the commission's, you know, speed dial retainer?

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like there used to be a priest in a minute. Well, they just have to go to a bar, right? Because every joke I've ever heard, there's one just sitting in a bar.

[Allison Rosen]

They walk into a bar together, they.

[Adam Carolla]

Find a rabbi, a priest, or whatever they wanted in there.

[Brian Bishop]

Sometimes a Polish person.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right, you need a Pollock in a pinch. A priest or a Jew, they're all in there. So, I mean, I think they have them. They always have them for. I don't know. There was a lot of work. There was a lot of priest work back then. You know, somebody's dying in the street, you know, call the priest, and the guy giving his last rites right there out on the sidewalk with the bullet holes in him.

[Brian Bishop]

Or lost a lot of work to therapists, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I feel like atheists have fucked it up a little, but it used to be a pretty good gig. A lot of guys must have shown up drunk and delivered a lot of last rites because they're at the bar.

[Allison Rosen]

Especially before the age of cell phones, how do you get a hold of.

[Adam Carolla]

The priest so fast you gotta go to the fucking bar? I don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

But sad cliche.

[Adam Carolla]

It was like. I think it was just a gig. Like, I feel like.

[Brian Bishop]

And like every family was friends with one, I think, right?

[Adam Carolla]

You put your outfit on, you'd come out to the house, you know, counsel the Kid, you know, if the girl got pregnant or whatever it was.

[Brian Bishop]

Have a weird flirtation with the mother of the house based on the TV shows that I've seen.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Brian Bishop]

But nothing's gonna happen.

[Adam Carolla]

So I don't know why, but that just struck me. The fact that he said when he signed the contract was kind of a badass answer. Foreboding Matt the Porcelain Punisher Fondelier, by the way, tell me if you guys have met this human being before. Not Matt, but this guy. I think it speaks volumes about the man and who he is and isn't. He was drinking a Coke while I was skipping my rope. He was drinking a Pepsi while I was skipping my rope. And I said, drinking a Pepsi, huh? Yeah. I said, I seem to remember you drinking a Coke. Yeah. I said, well, what is it, Coke or pepsi? He goes, 50. 50. And I said, 50, 50, huh?

[Brian Bishop]

Sitter?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He said, no preference. I said, 50, 50, just straight on through. Because I'm the guy who was at the Mexican food joint when Jimmy Kimmel ordered a Coke. It came in a plastic cup. He took a hit off it, threw the straw, and then spit it in my face because it was Pepsi.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a man of principles.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I had no idea what he was doing. I thought there was a bug or something that had gotten into the into. But either way, most people take a pretty strong stance one way or the other. And I said, jesus Christ, just whatever. Yeah, whatever. Said, sometimes if he's eating a sandwich, I don't know, he wants a Pepsi. But if he's just going straight, he'll go with the Coke. He likes Diet Coke. And I just thought, what the fuck? And then I thought, wait a minute, Matt. That's you. That's why. That's who you are. You're easy. You're how most people should be. The reality is there's not a massive difference between the two and whatever there is, who gives a shit? You shouldn't be taking super strong stances and getting into fistfights over what he is.

[Brian Bishop]

Is not a sports fan.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

I think it's a not tribal, not team mentality.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And it's very. In a weird way, it's very un. Narcissistic. Which is you don't have to declare yourself a member of every single fucking group that comes down the pike, whether it's a team or soft drink. You don't have to get that passionate about nothing and about people that don't know you and don't care. And he's right. I mean, I like Coke better, but I drink Pepsi. And I preference.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, maybe not hard and fast, but would prefer one over the other.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, most people would, because you almost have to, because it's. They're two sort of different things. But on the other hand, there's not that big a chasm between them that you should have. You shouldn't spend the better part of your life making these kinds of decisions or going, look at it this way. Think about this. When I would go out to, you know, restaurants, would make the declaration, it'd be Coke or Pepsi. Coke or Pepsi. They couldn't have both.

[Brian Bishop]

I think they have to, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I think they. Yeah, Big soda. Fucking puts. Puts the arm on. Fucking puts their boot on their jugular. And they have to. Now they get mobbed up, whatever it is. But the thing is, is when you'd go to a restaurant and I'd go out to eat with Jimmy all the time, and he'd go, coke or Pepsi? And they'd go, oh, we got Pepsi. He'd go, all right, just give me an iced tea or something like that. And then you get the passion fruit. And then it'd be ruined. But the point is, he wouldn't enjoy his meal that much because he'd go to a place that was mobbed up with Pepsi versus Coke. He clearly wanted a Coke where if you go with Matt, the Porcelain Punisher, every restaurant is the best. It's open season wherever he goes. It's just a better way to go. Why not?

[Brian Bishop]

Definitely. Yeah. Better way to be. Listen to this. You think you know someone. And by the way, I'm going to do 45 hours of this on my show. I found out last night after the vows were exchanged. Daniel doesn't like cashews.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, sometimes it's not too late for an annulment.

[Brian Bishop]

He thinks they're. I don't think so. I think we still have time. Yeah, he thinks they're.

[Adam Carolla]

Call the priest. I think we can get it done.

[Brian Bishop]

Overrated.

[Adam Carolla]

Go to the bar, get the priest.

[Allison Rosen]

He's having the rabbi.

[Adam Carolla]

He's overrated.

[Brian Bishop]

And sometimes he finds the number of cashews in a bowl of mixed nuts. Again, this is a verbatim quote. Annoying.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, that's tough.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Brian Bishop]

What's not to love about a cashew?

[Adam Carolla]

No, first off, when you're going through the mixed nuts, you find cashew. A cashew in there. That's gold. I will say this. The cashew is so beloved that the ones that are broken are nowhere near as good as the full ones.

[Brian Bishop]

But still better than for me some of those other.

[Adam Carolla]

Now they're better in everything. But I'm trying to think. Here's an interesting question. What nut at least suffers psychologically when it's broken or in shards?

[Brian Bishop]

Like what nut suffers least? What nut can handle.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, like Trader Joe's sells cashews. Like whole cashews. Sacks of cashews that are those overrated nuts. Giant cashews. They're delectable. And then they sell the cashew pieces. The cashew pieces are like a bust. Cause they're. I don't know why but. And I love cashew pieces.

[Brian Bishop]

Robbed of their sweet good nectar ness.

[Adam Carolla]

There's something about feeling it in your hand. I don't know, it's a boomerang of nuts or something. Substantial nut. Yeah. Wow. Annulment. That's all I can say.

[Allison Rosen]

I feel like walnuts suffer the least from being broken.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Because almost a whole walnuts, almost too much. It's a little mealy.

[Adam Carolla]

Half the walnuts and you're used to consuming them in brownies and other things broken up. They would not work on top of a sundae. You choke and die. They put them in a brownie. You'd not be able to lift the brownie to your mouth. You'd have to crawl down and eat it out of the pan. Like an animal. Exactly. Like a brownie eating animal.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, he made the argument that cashews aren't that good. And you know that because they're not used in many desserts. I wasn't even contraire. No, he said it to my back.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they're not using that many desserts because they don't need. They don't need to be ground up and put into other things. They're good in and of themselves.

[Allison Rosen]

Almonds aren't a lot of desser.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Good point. Next time call us if you need some. Pack up.

[Allison Rosen]

Straight out.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's see. Ah, yes, couple things. We got some baldiwood, we got tales from the cheap and ah, DraftKings my listeners. Winning like crazy man. @draftkings.com America's favorite one day fantasy baseball site. Baseball's heating up man. Playoffs coming up right around the corner. Bald.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. Last week I finished off the week in a double up contest with 40 people. Means I had to finish the top 20 to get paid. Finished in 11th place, got paid, doubled up.

[Adam Carolla]

Nice.

[Allison Rosen]

That easy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. Everyone's winning at DraftKings one day. Fantasy baseball. No season long commitments, no getting stuck with players, just instant cash every day DraftKings Dawson right now, get free entry into DraftKings biggest fantasy baseball contest of the year. Over 3 million bucks in cash prizes with a million for first place. Enter [e-mail] for your free shot at hundreds, thousands, even a million bucks. Free spots are going quick. Enter Adam [e-mail] DraftKings.com all right, let's see. Let me take a phone call. We're doing. Do we have a little intro for Tales of the Chief?

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, we're doing that first. Sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, sorry, sorry. All right, well, do Baldiwood. Let's do Baldiwood first, then hooray for Baldywood.

[Gary]

He will tell you if a movie's good.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian will review the flicks that he's seen up on the big screen or in his Netflix queue before you spend bucks, remember, his taste sucks. He loved that train wreck. Piece of shit. Transform us to hooray for Baldy War.

[Allison Rosen]

There is a great documentary at cell in theaters. It's called Code Black. I want to get you guys up on Code Black because it's really, really good. It's a documentary. It's directed by Ryan McGregori, who's an actual doctor in the film. This film's about LA County Memorial Hospital, USC County Hospital, which I know you have a lot of experience with. This is sort of the hospital where.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, not piles, but I used to drag myself there whenever, whatever period of time I didn't have insurance, which was probably quite a bit about a decade.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, it's probably more experience than most.

[Matt Fondelier]

Of us have been there.

[Allison Rosen]

You kind of don't want to go there. It's the funnel where all of the uninsured masses kind of end up when they have emergency situations.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

And it is, it is intense. And this is a behind the scenes look at that emergency room, which was the first emergency room I learned in this film of its kind. This was the first one that all those were modeled after. And this is directed by one of the actual doctors in the film. He made the movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know what city or what place. I mean, I know all cities and places have the have and have nots, but boy, Louisiana goes from, you know, Beverly Hills and the Palisades and Malibu and places of that nature to third world in a very short distance.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like it's not very far. The activities that are going on in county, usc, and then there's Hancock park where Don Johnson lives.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's not that far away as the crow flies. It's four miles. You Know, it's. And then it gets into, like, third world activities in. In the. In the middle of Los Angeles.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, just the quality of the hospitals that are so close. Like, Cedars Sinai is like, you know, a very. Looked at as a very wealthy hospital because they were fundraising like no one's business. And there's LA county just a few miles away. And it's. It's a scary place.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep.

[Allison Rosen]

So this starts off with sort of profiling, their legendary SEA booth. And that's a booth that's right in the. Right in the middle. Emergency room. And it's a triage unit. And it's this crazy, organized beehive of activity where there's constant movement. People are being brought in with gunshot wounds. I mean, multiple gunshot wounds, victims. And they're all just right there. There's no dignity. They're just operating on you. They're just cutting you open. This film is a little bit gory, so if that's a bit much for you. They're cutting guys chests open and they're putting chest tubes in and they're cracking ribs. It's not over. It's not over the top and is more interesting than gory. It's much more interesting than gory, but it's real life. I imagine it's like those autopsy shows with a little more, you know, energy. Opposite of the emergency room.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Like Dr. Baden.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. But you see Chesky being very open.

[Adam Carolla]

Being very casual about the old professor keeping the mummified corpse of his student and installing a vaginal canal. Very casually. You can hear that one.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, I did not know about that one.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

What was the canal made out of? Marshmallows.

[Adam Carolla]

The go to is catgut, but I don't know, it was just one of those things where, you know, there's certain times when the narrator needs to, like, stop and go. You heard me, folks. Vaginal canal instead of just sort of skating past.

[Brian Bishop]

Because sometimes they have like a. Yeah, a very stentorian delivery that you can just sort of let it go in and out of your ears.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this is not that, but yeah. So vaginal canal. Sorry.

[Allison Rosen]

Code Black.

[Adam Carolla]

Code Black, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

This is playing in about. I think it's in about 50 theaters right now. And I would not be shocked if this was up for an Oscar at the end of the year. It's a powerful movie. Some great little moments. It's so good at capturing those little moments because, like I said, directed by one of the doctors, so he has the insider access man. He's in there with the cameras. And he's such a square guy that at one point he's asking a woman what she's taking for her pain. She's been waiting in the waiting room for, like, eight hours. And, like, she's in tremendous pain. What are you taking for your pain currently? She goes, I'll be honest with you, a lot of Mary J. And he goes, okay, now, what's that? You have no idea what that is. There's a brief moment. Oh, God, no.

[Adam Carolla]

I was just thinking. It's funny how doctors or anybody really, if you think about it, they're sort of like, I don't know, child stars or prodigies or something, just getting immersed in a subject and then they don't know much about the outside world. We love making fun of them, but it's not like they were locked in a closet smoking weed. They're an expert in a certain field. That's why they don't know so much about Justin Bieber. And then we like to make fun of them. Never heard of the Biebs, Right? I'm retarded, but I know who Justin Bieber is. But you play the cello like a master, and I'm making fun of you.

[Matt Fondelier]

I don't.

[Adam Carolla]

We should probably stop making fun of them for not knowing the nonsense that doesn't make us any money and that no one will remember after we're gone.

[Brian Bishop]

You're right. But we should do it sort of like when the city makes the decision to make a change. Which is where? Like, how about by 2017, we'll stop?

[Adam Carolla]

It'd be nice. It's just funny when we make fun. It's funny when you make fun of other people for not knowing pop culture nonsense that they should.

[Brian Bishop]

We should be embarrassed that we know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Like, most guys are most.

[Allison Rosen]

These people saving lives.

[Adam Carolla]

They wouldn't have known what a selfie was like.

[Brian Bishop]

Sorry, I don't know about the mummy with. With the vaginal canal.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's medical.

[Allison Rosen]

That's hard science.

[Adam Carolla]

That's hard science. No, when Dr. Drew and I, many years ago, were walking through Manhattan and we were going to do Loveline at CBS Studios, but they had a radio studio, but we'd have to walk through Manhattan, walk through Times square at, like, 1am and then walk home at, like, 3:30 in the morning with the time change, and there was a whole bunch of chicks, just black chicks with nails that were 15 inches long. And they were all in, like, a minivan, like, parked somewhere. And they're like, crazy eye makeup and extensions and whatnot and they're like, yoo hoo. And they're like, come on, fellas. Why don't you come on by here and say hi to us or something? And Drew, like, stopped and he went like, those ladies need our assistance. And he started like walking toward the van. And I grabbed it. It was like 2:30 in the morning, like a Wednesday. I said, drew, leave. I mean, this is when Times Square was Times Square, you know. I said, drew, those are prostitutes. He's like, well, they asked for assistance. They must want something. And I was like, they want something. They want $20 to get a hand job or something. No, don't. Leave him alone. Like, no, don't go. It was a van filled with women that looked like, comical probably. They were like central casting prostitutes. And Drew had no idea what the hell was going on. He just thought it was a bunch of backup singers and an arrow star that needed some assistance from him.

[Allison Rosen]

That's why he's a good doctor.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. There's nothing of the outside world. Sorry.

[Allison Rosen]

So this guy Ryan, the director, the doctor, he'd make a great guest on this show. And we should try and get him on because he's promoting this film, obviously, but his really good movie, 96% of Rotten Tomatoes. And like I said, great moments. There's a moment where they capture one of the other doctors. He's hosting a barbecue for the other doctors in his backyard. And all of a sudden he's peeing on his property. And I thought of you and he's like, don't put this in the documentary. And of course they put it in the documentary. He's like, that's my house. I own this property. I'll pee on it if I want to. Yeah, it's a real man. Yeah, there's some great. They wheel in like a, you know, an obvious sort of, you know, gang banger type. He's got tattoos all over him. He's got gunshot wound, blood everywhere. They lay him down, they're operating on him, they're cutting him, they're doing this and that. And he's hanging on to consciousness. And you only see him, you know, from. You see him from a certain angle. And his penis is exposed and just that primordial part of his brain where his hand just goes to cover it. And the nurse moves it. Because there is in the way of, you know, whatever. It's just that human moment. You're like, oh, yeah, that's probably what most of us would do in this situation. And this tough guy who's Got a gunshot wound and tattoos and whatever. It's just his little vulnerable moment as he's lying there on the slab.

[Adam Carolla]

How's he hanging?

[Allison Rosen]

I gotta tell you, it was impressive. He knew two hands.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Asian or Jew? Because normally they're not that well endowed.

[Allison Rosen]

It was the tattoos that gave it away. Good. I love this movie. This movie. And I encourage everyone to see it.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's do it.

[Brian Bishop]

Where did they get the footage, do you know?

[Allison Rosen]

Like I said, the doctor who directed it was a doctor at that emergency room. And the main part of the movie is they.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. But, I mean, I could imagine an emergency room. People are like, someone get this crew out of here.

[Allison Rosen]

That's a good question.

[Adam Carolla]

They do a lot of it. I mean, we should talk to him. But I feel like now there's been enough shows where the crew's been in the room that there's just a crew everywhere now.

[Allison Rosen]

And I imagine him being the doctor there, one of the lead doctors. He knows. Set up up there. Set up up there. Don't set up there. We're gonna be, you know, that kind of thing. So I'm guessing there's some of that. But you guys would like this. It's really.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna watch Hooray for Bounty Ward. All right. Tales from the Cheap. Oh, I had this. I had this. Hadn't thought about this for a while, but talking about dishwashers and how I don't use them, and then how. I had this. I had this experience just a couple days ago where my son said, we got to empty the dishwasher. It's part of his chores. We're giving him chores. I said, all right. We opened the dishwasher, and I couldn't tell if the stuff was clean or dirty. And then he said to me, is it clean or dirty? And I said, I don't know. It's all been rinsed off. Well, but I can't tell if it's been run or not. And then I thought, when I was a kid, we had the mobile dishwasher. I've talked about it before. We had a kitchen. My mom's kitchen. The footprint of my mom's kitchen. And I am not exaggerating, the footprint was about five and a half foot by six foot. I mean, it was a galley. You saw my bedroom. You could imagine the kitchen in this house. Amazing.

[Brian Bishop]

All the gourmet meals that came out.

[Adam Carolla]

Of it, given the size. God. Oh, I'm salivating just thinking about the. That fact. Fucking whole wheat pasta that came out of that shit box. Anyway, we had a dishwasher, and you have to roll it up to the sink, hook the jack up into the sink. Now, the faucet, which meant you couldn't use the faucet for the time that the dishwasher was being used, had this, like, retractable thing. It was this thing that was like 32 inches by 32 inches in the middle of a room. It took up one third of the floor space. You'd roll it, you'd hook it up, you'd undo it, then you'd, like, roll it back, and I start always at.

[Brian Bishop]

Risk of flooding your house, too, because you have to leave the faucet running.

[Adam Carolla]

And at what point do you just fucking do your dishes?

[Allison Rosen]

You're not gaining anything.

[Adam Carolla]

We didn't entertain each other. Forget about entertain others. We didn't. Nobody came. The word got out. My buddy Chris almost choked on a bay leaf because my mom made some kind of health lentil stew. And there's a big bay leaf floating in it. And a bay leaf, it's like. It's like throwing a fucking pine cone in the middle of your stew.

[Allison Rosen]

You're supposed to take those out. You don't serve those.

[Adam Carolla]

He's 12 and eating and doesn't want to spit out. You know, he does that. You know that weird thing, you know when you're eating at someone's house and you're feeling weird and you don't want to spit it out? So he literally almost chokes on a bay leaf. From that point on, the word spreads far and wide. Don't go to Carolla's house. Nobody wanted to come to. You know, Ray was like, I'm not coming to your piece of shit house and eating a fucking pine cone. I'll go home and eat some good German food. And then I started going to everyone else's house. So nobody ever ate at our house. I don't even know why we had to have this fucking dishwasher. The only thing we had was either lentil stew or frozen dinners where you just had the pan. You know, you had the foil pan. I don't know why we had one, but we negotiated this thing, walked around it, rolled around it, hooked it up. It is the definition of retardation. It is no bang for your buck. It's a cumbersome piece of shit that takes up a bunch of room. I have no idea why we did this. It's one of those. What are you thinking?

[Allison Rosen]

In a weird way, Was it a status thing? I mean. I mean, that sounds absurd.

[Adam Carolla]

For your parents to know we made it.

[Allison Rosen]

We have a dishwasher.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like we need to have a dish. Yes, that's what it was. We need to have a dishwasher. The kitchen is so small that there's no room to put a regular one in. So we'll use up floor space and we'll force ourselves to use it. And somehow that'll make us feel better about ourselves. Although it was a colossal waste of time. Alright. Just made me think of that. And now, tales from the cheap. 20 year old Tupperware, homemade clothes, powdered eggs. It's time for tales from the cheap. You know what I was saying? I said to Lynette yesterday, actually, she was saying, she's talking about business. And she said, now why wouldn't this person just pay this amount for this? It's worth that, blah blah, blah. And you know what I said to her? I said, people have a weird relationship with money and they really shouldn't. They should treat it like anything else. Meaning there's a lot that's attached to money. There's a lot of emotion, there's a lot of anxiety. There's good and there's bad. You know, there's people out there buying $400 shoes when they can get the exact same thing for 69 bucks. And there's no reason why they should be doing that. And then that same person may not spend money on something they should spend money on. So we have this weird relationship where sometimes we and sometimes it's the same person. Oftentimes it's different people, but everyone has some energy around the money. And you'll find yourself saying, like I used to say to Dr. Drew, your dad was a doctor. He made plenty of money. He was fine. Yeah, but he's a product of the depression. He was always scared. Always scared. But he shouldn't have been. He had a 50 year run where he made a nice income. Why on year 47 was he still scared they were going to the poorhouse? And then I thought, you should have the same relationship with money that you have with just anything. Just a sort of healthy balance. Meaning, look, if you don't have any, then don't run up your credit cards. But if you do, don't run scared and don't spend a whole bunch on something that's up, you know, fucking. Don't spend eight grand on a handbag unless you think you can sell that handbag in 10 years for 10 grand. But don't just keep collecting that. And on the other hand, don't go out and not order a glass of wine with dinner because you're so fucking cheap, even though you have plenty of money. You know what I'm saying? Like what? There's always. It brings out the weirdness in everyone.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, why is that? What does it represent? Power?

[Adam Carolla]

It brings out the whatever in everyone. I mean, just think about everyone talking about income inequality and everyone, like, so angry about what this person has and what that person has and how this person should pay more and that person's not paying enough. And then what are you doing? I mean, you want to send people into a fucking tailspin? Just go, oh, yeah, I have a ton of money, and I shouldn't pay any more in taxes because I already paid too much, which I say all the time. And it just. People start freaking on you, like, why? Where's all the. It represents so much more than just what it is. There's so much tied into it. There's so many feelings.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, it also gets into all of our agreement that we didn't actively make to live in a society together, which is. I think that energy is. A lot of people feel like, look, I don't want to be giving my money away either, but I'm doing it because we're all doing it. So then if someone wants to opt out, then you get angry of like, no, it only works if we all do it.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't have to. You don't have to opt out. You just have to announce that you pay enough or you make a ton of money and people a freak. Or if you said, look, Cedar Sinai is state of the art county, USC is whatever, and if you go, well, look, those people aren't sure they don't have money. Let them go to usc. Why should they go to sea? Now there's a bunch of. There's a bunch of emotion that got just mixed into it. Money is just. It's very symbolic, and there's a lot tied into it. And I think your relationship with money should be not unlike your relationship with restaurants, which is to say, if you're on this budget, you eat at this place. If you're on this budget, you don't have to eat at Spago or the IV or whatever's going on. I don't even know if there's a spot going anymore. But once you go for a treat, go do it, but then go back.

[Brian Bishop]

Sounds like you're saying it should be. People should have a dispassionate relationship with money.

[Adam Carolla]

They should have. I think what they should have is a pragmatic relationship with it. Don't buy lottery tickets you're never gonna win. Don't buy a gold chain if you're poor. Don't spend all your money on a gold chain so other people think you're rich when you're not because you're po. Like, just have a basic pragmatic relationship with it like you have with many other things in life.

[Brian Bishop]

See, I went freelance back when I worked in magazines. I at a certain point decided to go freelance. And the first couple years were great. I was like, oh, this is such a good decision. And then all of a sudden it was like the rug was pulled out from under me and I was more poor and more afraid than I had ever been. And I mean, I just, I feel like I spent so much time just nervously pacing in my apartment wondering how am I gonna make rent? And I had never, it had never been like that for me. And everything's great now, everything's fine. But ever since then, there's always this fear in the back of my head. What if that happens again? What if all of a sudden I can't, you know, pay my bills and what am I gonna do? And I've met other people who have similar stories and they also have that fear. Do you guys not have that fear that you could, I mean, you, you were poor for a while. Do you not have that fear that it could happen again?

[Adam Carolla]

I was poor for way more than half my life. And I mean like, I don't know, poor, like welfare poor? No. Well, first off, I didn't bring that. That wasn't my doing. That was my dumbo parents doing and my depressed mom doing so that I would never go back to. Then I was basically working poor for a long time. But that's because I came from that where I didn't get educated and I didn't understand anything about money and I didn't have any self esteem. So that was just sort of $7 an hour, no insurance, Kind of poor for a long period of time. Then I figured out how stuff works. And no, I'm not. Like I said, it's a very volatile business I'm in, which is show business essentially. But I've had. Had basically a 20 year run where I haven't had to move back into my mom's porch and deal with the dishwasher.

[Allison Rosen]

What a sitcom that would be.

[Adam Carolla]

So I think what people should do is just take a look at your own history. How many people have since they graduated, whatever, even though you've had the fear of it. How many have actually had to, you know, worst case scenario, it, you know, go move back in with their folks, sell their car and get a bus pass, you know, go in to the pawn shop and give their wedding ring away. I mean, there's always that people. People work out of fear. But look at your own. You've had good years and leaner years, but have you ever had to move back home or stay on someone's sofa?

[Brian Bishop]

It's not like a fear that keeps me up at night or anything. I'm just saying it's always weirdly, sort of in the back of my head.

[Adam Carolla]

This, what if I figured everything for me is gravy because of where I come from? And then once I figured it out, I sort of figured it out and then. But I work, you know, a lot, so I don't have that fear. But also, after coming from where I come from, there's really. There's not that much you can do to me. Like, I'm okay with most things. I like stuff, but I don't need stuff, I guess would be the answer. Yes, Paul. Bryan.

[Allison Rosen]

I was gonna say I got by for so long and so little. Like, I made so little money for the first however many years out of college that it was always. That's sort of my know that if it ever came to it, I could get by, you know what I mean? Meagerly, if I had to.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it Dylan? That's me. What's going on? Dylan, 38, from Brooklyn. You're making too much sense. It's. I don't know how people are gonna comprehend it. Thank you, Betty. What's going on? I don't know. My sister and I got another one about my dad. But my sister, she drives around and she'll go to Taco Bell and get a cup of soda and that cup will go back in the car, and it could be a cardboard cup or a plastic cup, and she goes back and reuses it and gets it refilled again. Or. Yeah, just walks back in with this crusty old cup and pours another drink. I also have this thing. I know you guys have heard this, but don't go into save a nickel mode. Go into make a buck mode. Go. Your sister is switched. She put that. She flip. You flip that switch, you go into save a nickel mode. It's really hard to go into, as we talk about all the time, as sort of sports analogy, it's hard to go into protect your lead and run up the score at the same time.

[Brian Bishop]

And that's what happens to me in Rotten Tomatoes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, it does.

[Allison Rosen]

You go prevent defense.

[Adam Carolla]

It's hard to do them simultaneously. Do it. I often think, like, if you have something, that's why 69ing sucks or blows, depending on what end you're on. Hey, Dylan. Yeah. Now you're not affected. I mean, you don't. You're not weird about money? Well, see, I look at it like this evolution. When I was, you know, I grew.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Up poor like you and my parents.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, we had nothing. But now they have money, and the same behaviors are taking place. That's what I'm talking. That's what I'm talking about. And you wouldn't do this. Like I said, in other facets of life, you would not conduct yourself this way. This is just the thing that we have energy around, and it's weird that there's so much energy around it. I understand. It's a big part of life.

[Allison Rosen]

It's the fuel that sort of makes the, you know, rest of your life go to a large extent.

[Adam Carolla]

I understand. But a reality, on reality's terms, that you were poor, fine. Now you're making a good living. Go ahead and act as if that's what you're doing now. All right, let's see. Justin has one on line four from D.C. justin.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yes. Hello, Adam. How are you?

[Adam Carolla]

Good. What's going on?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Good. I had an aunt growing up who's possibly the cheapest person I know. She's the kind that would give you coupons for Christmas presents with the McDonald's card. She would take us out on, you know, camping trips or things like that. We would go to a pizza parlor, and she would actually ask a manager if she did dishes if she could get a discount.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, at least she was bartering.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, she was a barter. And she would go on vacations with intention of not spending money. And when she would throw things for her kids, who none of them turned out okay, instead of getting a limo for a prom type thing, she would borrow the short bus from her church.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Pulling up in the short bus sends a message. Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

No terrible people. I thank God I didn't turn out like any of them. I may be the only caller you've had that actually works for an orchestra and tunes in every time you talk about them and have used your ideas to create shows.

[Adam Carolla]

You work for an orchestra?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I work for the John F. Kennedy center for the National Symphony. I do programming.

[Adam Carolla]

And doing programming means what? You get to pick out what the. Yep. Get to pick out the shows.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Get to the. Yep. Negotiate them. Pick out the soloists. And actually, I met one of the soloists, Joshua Bell, who was on your show, and I was the first person ever to bring up saying, I heard you on the Adam Farhola show was out of nowhere.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I take it you're a virgin. I appreciate it.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah. Big fan.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I miss in movies? Thanks, Justin. There used to be a scene in almost every movie where the guy who was conducting the orchestra when they were unveiling King Kong or whatever it was, would sort of look over his shoulder at some point nervously, like, what's going on? And then get back to like a double time move.

[Brian Bishop]

Like frenzied conducting.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like, let's get out of here conducting. And sort of. The conductor would look nervous, but the band would always play on. The first sign. There was trouble is when the conductor would sort of look over his shoulder like, what's going on in here? Oh. And then he just kind of speed it up a little bit.

[Brian Bishop]

You don't see that enough.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't see it enough ever.

[Allison Rosen]

Maybe this is naive, but how much control does a conductor have over the orchestra? Don't they know the songs? Musicians, don't they know the songs?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. But every joke was hurried on up.

[Allison Rosen]

That's what I'm saying. Does that joke make sense?

[Brian Bishop]

Is he actually dictating a tempo? Yes, but I actually. I don't know.

[Gary]

Maybe.

[Brian Bishop]

I told him. I really do think they're relying on the conductor to kind of be like, okay, you guys. And now you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I kind of.

[Brian Bishop]

They're the glue.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think it would just speed up as if you'd started turning a record player faster.

[Allison Rosen]

That's what it was.

[Adam Carolla]

It would be a little disjointed because there would be. Because you'd be like second chair oboe. And you'd be like, fuck this.

[Allison Rosen]

Clearly a clarinet man. But okay, in your example, either way.

[Adam Carolla]

There'S a read in there somewhere. But either way, you would be on the old Beethoven's pace. You would not be going along with the conductor. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

That's probably what happened.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even know if I would. I don't know if I would look at him the whole time.

[Allison Rosen]

That's what I'm saying. You're looking at the sheet music or you're lost in the music. Are you watching the music?

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, maybe Justin. Is Justin still here? Maybe he. He knows.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's ask him.

[Allison Rosen]

Line four.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, I would look at the visor that you wear as sort of a passive aggressive maneuver on your avoiding baseball cap pulled way down in the front. Justin.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

If the conductor starts going fast like it's a. Like it's a movie, would everyone just speed up?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yes. You basically know the music. You know how to play all the notes, and the conductor kind of shapes what the orchestra is doing. That's why some recordings are 70 minutes long, other recordings are 80 minutes long. They're kind of like a dictator up on the podium.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

I was right.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

They fire you if you don't follow.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Get fired. All right, Enjoy. Thank you, Justin.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Thank you, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Appreciate it. All right, let's see. Let's get through a few more of these. We'll take a quick break, we'll do some news. Let's see. Line three. Paxton. 15, Seattle.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Hey, Ace, man, get it on.

[Adam Carolla]

Paxton, what's going on? Not much.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Just got done with the Mariners game.

[Adam Carolla]

Nice Seattle. Man, I love that place. 15. Yeah. You realize that Paxton is the name of a famous supercharger?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You do? Good. Who told you that? Did someone name you after a car part?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Dude, not one mom named me this.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, what's going on, Paxton?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

So my dad is pretty bad with condiments. Teaspoon of jelly, you know, make sure you get that out. And for the worst, he's with is peanut butter, and I love peanut butter. So we'll get the chub pack of the gif, and so I'll go through and make some sandwiches, and there's a tiny bit left, I throw it away. I'll wake up the next morning and he will assist it out of the garbage can and then make me get the rubber spatula and scrape all of it out. And, you know, half a sandwich we're in.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I like that, though. I'm the same way. But I'll tell you what I don't like. I don't like when the empty thing goes back in the fridge and uses up a bunch of room. On the other hand, I do like to scrape it clean.

[Brian Bishop]

See, I'm the one who will put the thing that seems empty back in there. And then I'll say, because it's not empty, there's like one more serving in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? But then it's. You gotta get it out of there.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what?

[Brian Bishop]

I can agree.

[Adam Carolla]

I got an idea. Everything that comes in the big container, every Costco size 64 ouncer, smooth, jiffy, whatever, just the jumbo mayonnaise, whatever it is, should come with a little like that's. The yacht. It should come with a little dinghy. You see the dinghy that gets dragged behind the yacht.

[Allison Rosen]

Zephyr.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the little Zephyr just gets dragged behind the yacht. And that's the little one that only holds 3 ounces. And it's empty. It's empty one. But when you exhaust the one that's the size of a bucket, you then spatula out what's left. Put it in the little one and put that one like they do with the Tabasco, but it's unfilled. But this is the little. Yeah, the little Zephyr that just gets dragged behind the.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I'm gonna say a Zodiac.

[Adam Carolla]

Zodiac. Yeah, the Zodiac boat that gets dragged behind the. I don't. Or even just a little dinghy. They just have a. So it's like you get the big tub and then you get the one that's. It's. There's one sandwich worth. It's the one sandwich container, Peanut butter, mayonnaise, whatever it is. And it's whoever's job who makes that last sandwich out of the big one, to take the remainder, the one sandwich worth, out of the big one, transfer it into the dinghy, and then just put that back in the fridge.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what else they should have?

[Adam Carolla]

A little vial of peanut butter.

[Brian Bishop]

They should have, you know, French press coffee makers. They should have something shaped like that that sits in the bottom so that then when you get near the bottom, you just lift it up. Because the most disgusting move ever. And I don't even eat mayonnaise. But if I did, this would be one of my least favorites, is when you get to the bottom and you're scraping and you get it on your hand. You should never be reaching so far into a container. That stuff's getting all over your hand.

[Adam Carolla]

It gets all up in your hand, and then you wipe your face, and then the mailman shows up and goes, hey.

[Allison Rosen]

Leave this on the porch. I'll leave this on the porch.

[Adam Carolla]

If it's a bad time, I can get. I come back. Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

Awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

You're in your bathrobe. All right, one more. Mackenzie, 28. What's going on? Mackenzie from Michigan?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yep, absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Real quick, Brian.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Your book, Plain and Simple, is important. Thank you for writing it, Paula. So my mom used to take us kids to particularly office parks to have a swim in the fountain to dig out change.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Never did that.

[Allison Rosen]

Is that legal?

[Adam Carolla]

Tempting to do it? I don't think it is.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

The security team ended up coming out and getting us out.

[Allison Rosen]

Hence.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Now, was she cheap, weird, destitute. All the above. What was she?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

She was 15 when she had me.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. All right.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

She needed money. Yep. I feel like, first off, I mean, I know a buck ain't worth a buck anymore, but I do feel like money gets tossed around a lot more now. Like those little change ashtrays that are, you know, in the liquor store now. It says, need a penny, need a nickel. Take one, leave one, whatever. I found myself just throwing some change into one the other day. I feel like. Like stuff is thrown around. It didn't.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm seeing more and more dimes in those things.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe it's the ATM that's made people a little faster and looser with the cash.

[Allison Rosen]

Getting your cash out in the old days meant standing in line, filling out a form, talking to someone. It was a big deal.

[Adam Carolla]

My family, again, since they. No one really had jobs, or if they did have jobs, they were like, got a check from the government or something like that. The va, Whatever it was, there was no cash on anybody. So it was like. It was kind of a big deal. Like, they wouldn't go, oh, here's five bucks, because it was the weekend and the bank was closed, and they had 10 bucks, and they're not giving you 5 bucks. And no one had credit cards either. So there was no, like, well, I'll just use Pl. Buy some movie tickets with some plastic. If you were out of cash, you were out of cash over the weekend. Now, I think the fact that you can buy everything with a piece of plastic, you could literally go into a Burger King and be like, oh, shit, I don't have cash for my $4 worth of food, and then just pull out a piece of plastic. You'd be covered. And the fact that there's an ATM on every corner, along with a buck not being worth a buck just makes people throw it around a little more than they used to.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. I can tell you the specialness of the bills is no longer there.

[Adam Carolla]

I can tell you that if we go out and I come home and I have some cash, some singles, some fives or something, and I just throw it on my bureau, my kids will just walk past it. Like, they won't. They're not interested.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, Sonny eyeballs it and goes, I'll just eat mine later.

[Adam Carolla]

But honestly, like, when you were a kid, if there was some cash first off, there was no such thing as cash sitting around. Like a wad of money. You know, some bills folded up, just, like, kind of sitting out in the open kind of thing. And if there was, that would have been a very big deal and pretty tempting for you to slide a five out of there.

[Allison Rosen]

Does your dad have an unusually thick wallet when you were a child? My dad was not a wealthy man.

[Brian Bishop]

But he had Jim Carollo. Probably didn't, but.

[Allison Rosen]

No, but it was full of random shit. My dad wasn't a wealthy man, but it was full of God knows what. I wish I would have looked when I was a kid, but it was oddly thick.

[Brian Bishop]

My dad was a money club guy.

[Matt Fondelier]

Ooh, ooh la la.

[Allison Rosen]

Humblebrag.

[Adam Carolla]

Was there initials or dollar sign or the Monopoly man or anything on any of those things?

[Brian Bishop]

No, I think it was.

[Allison Rosen]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

This is not us. But no, I think it was pretty plain. Just to sort of just meddle.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all right. I don't. Yeah. I'll tell you what wasn't in my dad's wallet. Cash and pictures of his kids. Those are the two things I know most definitely were not in his wallet. They were banned from his wallet. Mackenzie.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. Are you okay now?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, I'm in therapy.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, but you're doing all right? Yeah, I'm doing good.

[Matt Fondelier]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

What part of Michigan you calling from?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

About an hour and a half west.

[Adam Carolla]

Of Detroit, I feel like. Although you'd probably lose it in the commute. You get a good break on therapists over there in Michigan.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What do they charge for a 50 minute session?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

30 bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm saying.

[Allison Rosen]

Allison, make that happen.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Live show in Michigan.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Coming up.

[Adam Carolla]

30 bucks, huh?

[Gary]

Why me?

[Adam Carolla]

30 bucks. That's for 50 minutes, huh?

[Allison Rosen]

You've been known to go out of the Area 45.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, see, out here it's quite a bit. Quite a bit more.

[Brian Bishop]

But I have a new therapist and it's 45 minute sessions. When did it change?

[Adam Carolla]

Let me tell you what is happening. What is happening in life. And I'm trying to think of the other example of this, but it's my plywood theory, which started with two by fours and made its way to plywood. Plywood. Three quarter plywood used to be three quarters. Somebody figured out that if you make it 11, 16 instead of three quarters, if you just literally remove a 16th or 30 second from it, every eight sheets or 10 sheets is going to be like one sheet, one full sheet.

[Matt Fondelier]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Just like getting an extra session in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Somebody who has a factory that makes 2 million plywood sheets a year, did the math and went. So I have noticed. It's kind of interesting and I'll try to Think of the other. The other example of this. But if you work with building materials, you notice they get thinner and thinner and thinner. We just keep. It's kind of like taxes, you know, it's not going to work. If someone goes, we're adding 25%. They do a thing where they go, we want to do a temporary 1% sales tax just to get the roads fixed or what have you. And everyone goes, all right, but temporary, right. And then two years goes by and then everyone's kind of forgotten about it and we just move on. They never announce, well, it's the end, and we're rolling it back.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks for all your help.

[Adam Carolla]

Whatever it was, that never happens. There is a thing where stuff just kind of keeps going that direction.

[Brian Bishop]

Attrition, kind of.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And if you think about it, that's the way everything's gonna. Everything's gonna end up going by.

[Allison Rosen]

The person that's deciding airplane seats is a thing. Right. Like the distance between the rows and all that stuff, it gets a little. A little, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

The problem with that is we're getting fatter.

[Allison Rosen]

That is a problem.

[Adam Carolla]

So we're going. Our ass is going one direction and the seats are going another. Somebody sent me a picture of, like, coach and pan am in 1963 or something.

[Allison Rosen]

I saw that picture.

[Adam Carolla]

It looked like somebody was goofing, like somebody was trying to piss you off before you got on your next Southwest flight.

[Allison Rosen]

It looked like the waiting area for, like, the gate for, like, the next Southwest flight. The huge seats room.

[Adam Carolla]

No, honestly, the last flight, or one of the last flights I was on, the aisle was not wide enough for the lady stewardess who was working the thing to make it through. Her cheeks were scraping. If it was.

[Brian Bishop]

We're looking at an airplane right now.

[Adam Carolla]

We're looking at an airplane.

[Allison Rosen]

It looks like a gate for today's airplane.

[Adam Carolla]

Looks like a lounge. Yeah, right. Wow. Right.

[Allison Rosen]

By the way, all ties and dresses.

[Adam Carolla]

But imagine. Imagine what you do. You just do this. You go, look, if we take 3, 8 of an inch off of every seat times 280 seats, we're going to get another 14 seats in this airplane. And then think about over the life of that airplane, the 27 year life of that airplane, how much money that's going to turn into. That's what they've. That's what they've figured out. All right, Mackenzie, Allison's coming out. Gonna talk to your therapist. 30 bucks. Start fishing. Change from the fountain. Do they take fountain change over there? They take wet coins. I can roll it thanks, baby. Sorry about your horrific childhood. All right, tune in for more tales from the cheap, if you dare.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. News now with Allison Rosen.

[Matt Fondelier]

The news with Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison.

[Gary]

Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with Zip it, cunt. It's Allison.

[Bill Simmons]

Allison.

[Brian Bishop]

In spelling error. News. The Colorado Rockies gave out 15,000 replica jerseys honoring all Star short Troy Tulowitzki. And they misspelled his last name.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, everyone was tweeting me this.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. So they spelled it T U, L, O, W, I, Z, K, I, but it is actually spelled T, U, L, O, W I, Z, T, K, I. Yes.

[Matt Fondelier]

I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

There's another T in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Whatever it is you screw up times 15,000 units. Yeah, that's the part of life I'm wildly interested in. Just adults, that part where you just think, well, somebody's in charge of this. I think somebody knows what they're doing.

[Brian Bishop]

I think the fans didn't really notice many of them, but then the Rockies say that they did discover the spelling at some point, but decided to hand them out anyway. I'm wondering, really, I mean, it's believable, but it's also believable that they just said that, but they didn't realize it till they were already handed out. So they say that they plan to remake the jersey with the correct spelling, and fans can exchange the one that they receive for the new one and also get a free ticket to a future 2014 or 2015 game. But these are now collector's items, of.

[Adam Carolla]

Course, and there's a story behind it. I, you know, my plan of, like, how I do the, you know, say at the Coliseum, I go free cockfight for all Raiders fans, and then I just round up everyone who comes in because I know they're all deadbeat dads. I will do this when I own a professional franchise, sports franchise. I will misspell the name on a T shirt night.

[Allison Rosen]

Of a marquee player.

[Adam Carolla]

Of a marquee player. And then I will announce that if you'd like to send your T shirt in, I will exchange it for properly spelled one and give you like a gift certificate for a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi and send a self addressed stamped envelope, blah, blah, blah. And then every single one I get, I'm sending child protective services to their house. Because I'm like, you should not be fucking raising kids. Adult people here's what your thought should be, if you got the wrong spelling on that T shirt, you should laugh, you should shake your head, and then you should just go home, throw it in the closet, and never fucking have another thought about it. The part. First off, there's gonna be a couple of lawsuits. There will be a couple lawsuits. They're gonna be. I was with my son. I had to explain to him about spelling errors. I was not in any position. He's now traumatized. I now, when I go to a sporting event and read the name on the back of a jersey, is it spelled right? I don't know. I have to ask myself. I'm scared to go. I'm scared to watch sporting events. This has been ruined for me.

[Allison Rosen]

Baseball's now ruined for my child.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? My child. I had my children with me. He's scared. He's up at night with sweat. Night sweats. He doesn't know how to spell.

[Brian Bishop]

He doesn't trust constantly.

[Adam Carolla]

He doesn't trust. That's right. He doesn't know there's going to be a lawsuit. But I want to know the people actually cash in. Like, I want to know the people in their 40s who have that kind of fucking time on their hands. Who the fuck are these people, by the way? Gary, I swear to God. I know I laugh about my Toyota Grand Prix car over there. That's spelled differently on the same car. Corolla. The same car spelled two different ways. The other car is just misspelled.

[Allison Rosen]

At least it's consistent.

[Adam Carolla]

But that's how insane this is. Everyone has access to the spelling of the name because. Yeah, okay.

[Brian Bishop]

And by the way, the actual correct spelling. T, U, L, O, W, I, T, Z, K, I, T and Z.

[Adam Carolla]

They left out the second T. Okay, well, a good. And again for them, you start to wonder, at what point are we going to do this stuff on purpose? Just so this regional little thing that no one would give a shit about is going to start the beginning of a slow news cycle. You know what I'm saying? You'd be smart to do this, right?

[Brian Bishop]

It's a slow news cycle. This is hard news.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, no, I mean, not for you, baby. But what I'm saying is, on a day when Al Qaeda's taking the afternoon off, you know what I mean?

[Brian Bishop]

There's so many people who collect stuff. You would be smart to do it.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, here's a version of that. And here's a very nerdy thing that I will say on this podcast. I used to collect baseball cards. You're gonna Find this hard to believe. I used to collect baseball cards when I was a kid and there was one year where Fleer baseball cards had an extraordinarily high number of error cards because error cards are collectible. You know, oh, there's an error in this card. They corrected. Blah, blah. They had a crazy high number of error cards. And the conspiracy where they had like.

[Adam Carolla]

The wrong batting average or something.

[Allison Rosen]

No, it was, it was design things. Like this line wasn't connected or it was weird design things. It was misspellings. It was this and that. The star wasn't on certain, you know, all star editions of the card. But the conspiracy theory has always been, oh, they did that because they were cashing in on what had been an up and coming trend for people going out of their way to collect. Remember the Billy Ripken one with the bat? You probably don't remember that, but it said fuckface on his bat. And it made it onto a card.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, I did made it onto a card.

[Allison Rosen]

And that was a big thing. People were buying boxes of cards to hopefully get this hundred dollar card around.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, in an era where everyone says, they say to me, like, I want to do this thing and I want it to go viral, I'm always like.

[Brian Bishop]

First off, good luck.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, good luck. Everyone wants everything to go viral. No one knows what's going to go viral.

[Brian Bishop]

We're gonna make a viral video. Yeah, like that's not how it's done.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you can make the viral video, but it ain't going viral.

[Allison Rosen]

There's Billy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it says fuckface on the.

[Allison Rosen]

And that was a big collectible card. And the next year, the same company had a crazy high number of error cards. And the theory was, oh, they're trying to cash in on people gold. Gold mining for cars.

[Gary]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

So anyway, that's kind of what Alison was saying.

[Adam Carolla]

It makes sense to do this intentionally now, right? Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, so I'll tell you guys, I finally, finally saw Jurassic Park.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, that's how you seen it?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I mentioned that I'd never seen it. And I enjoyed it.

[Adam Carolla]

Sleep through the night, get a solid 8 in.

[Brian Bishop]

Although the first half hour, very entertaining. First half hour I was distracted because the whole time I wanted to take a shot of Laura Dern's high waisted pants and then tweet, jurassic pants. And I was waiting for the right shot. And then I was a little bit too lazy. And then it was crazy how much that one stupid tweet that I never tweeted was taking me out of the movie. Out of the perfectly reasonable movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like Jeff Goldblum was as Jeff Goldblum y as he gets in that movie. He was in full effect. He was in full bloom.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you think for Ian Malcolm, the.

[Brian Bishop]

Stuttering into the script, or does he just bring that himself?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how you foresee that, but he was like Jeff Goldblumie there. When we talk about actors being their quintessential whatever, he was very much that way in that movie.

[Brian Bishop]

What about the scene where he's injured? This is what. It's a movie that's really old, so I'm not gonna care about spoiling, but. And it's not a spoiler. And he's laying there, like, in a Farrah Fawcett pose. Do you know what I'm talking about? You might not remember this in the.

[Allison Rosen]

Car at this point.

[Brian Bishop]

No, he's back in the control center, basically. But he couldn't. There we go.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know what they typed in to get this, but that must mean that other people are searching for it if it came up this fast.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like he's on display.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He's injured, but he shaved his chest, undid his shirt, and greased himself up. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Now, are any of the sequel or ones that came after it in the series worth watching?

[Allison Rosen]

Number two? They're not nearly as good as number one. Number two. Two is pretty good. Number three is garbage.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I can't remember, but did you.

[Allison Rosen]

See either of them?

[Brian Bishop]

There's a four coming out either way.

[Adam Carolla]

I always cite it as. I'm fine. I'll go on any journey. Just do a little two minute, little animated explanation about how this happened, and then I'm done with the animated DNA strand. Yes. I'm with you on this, Donno.

[Matt Fondelier]

DNA.

[Adam Carolla]

Cannot. Oh, one's coming out in June 2015. I'll be down with that. I wonder who's gonna star in it. Gotta figure it out. Yeah, they're my. They're my Corolla cars. Spelled wrong and then differently and wrong. Awesome. Chris Pratt. Wow.

[Allison Rosen]

Seeing that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's what Gary's saying. What is? He's just.

[Allison Rosen]

How's it work with it with Chris Pratt?

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, I know I always ask this and it's stupid to ask, but if you saw an episode of Parks and Rec from three years ago, you'd be like, who's chubby guy in the beard? And then they go, he's the next Hollywood IT Guy. And you'd be like, not him. Not that guy. Right. Now you have to have ability. But does the momentum just begats the momentum? Like. Right. Like he's in that now. He's gotta be in this. Right. Like this weird thing.

[Brian Bishop]

And I wonder if he feels like he's been beating his head against the wall for so long, you know, I wonder how it feels to him that this is happening now.

[Adam Carolla]

It's so weird, you know, it's like. It's like not. You don't see it as much anymore, but there used to be people who got commercials and then they'd book every other commercial and you'd see the fucking person in the same ad. It's like, I noticed. I don't know why, it's the sort of mixed race, very attractive black woman who shouldn't be doing the job she's doing. She's too hot for that job. But she looks really like they. They're getting some diversity in there. But she's really strikingly pretty, although she's not the star, she's the makeup person or whoever it is. But then you'll see her pop up in another commercial and they just. They get this weird momentum.

[Allison Rosen]

I think who you're talking about, is it the look up the Hughesnet lady? I think that's her. No, because I have the exact same thing where I noticed the commercial actors. Like, that guy's selling me Quaker Oats, and now he's selling me this. Like he's doing the.

[Brian Bishop]

What's Hughes Net?

[Allison Rosen]

Hughes Net is Internet satellite.

[Adam Carolla]

Internet satellite. It is Howard Hughes. It's the. Well, same guy. I mean, is it her? No, but I've seen her in a million. Yeah, you'll see, they'll do the dental thing and then they'll do the Hughes Net thing and then they'll be a mom. And it fucks your shit up. Because on one thing you see on a commercial, it's like Christian Mingle. And the next thing you see her and you go, look, I'm a mother. Foul tracks. Yeah. So you know, like, as someone who suffers from herpes. I know. Or like, as a mother of three, I understand that as the wife of.

[Brian Bishop]

A man who has ed.

[Adam Carolla]

If she's understanding, right, and you're like, what? No, that's the other chick from the other thing. It's a Hughesnet. She works for Hughesnet.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you try and create a narrative in your mind of she must endorse all of these things?

[Gary]

She lives in the rural area.

[Adam Carolla]

I usually just beat off and call it a night. But yeah, now. So my whole thing is, if I'm casting a commercial. I'm like, I'm definitely not using you because I know you as the person who's single. And I'm doing a thing where you're playing the mother of three but in a weird universe.

[Allison Rosen]

I agree.

[Adam Carolla]

We're attracted to the momentum. It's like, good enough. So she was good enough for Valtrex and good enough for Christian Mingle. Well, then she's going to be good enough for 1, 800 dentists or 1, 800 dentists. Yeah, and I feel the same thing with, like, Chris Pratt. Like, oh, he's doing this movie, so he should be doing our movie.

[Brian Bishop]

See, I always. The narrative I have in my head is that this person got a new agent or manager who got them auditions all over town or something, and then suddenly it all paid off with all the commercials coming out at the same time. Do you not think that's any part of it? I just figure maybe they were just suddenly auditioning for a glut of stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

I will say this if you. I think I've always said that. I think people respond to personal momentum like crazy. I think our society responds to personal momentum, like, in an insane, animalistic, we'll never know it. Very deep, sort of visceral way. Like, we really respond to it. And I've always said, women especially. Guy comes into a bar who just banged a hot chick the night before, and he's giving off some sort of whatever. And there's a magnetism or something, an unspoken. A pheromone or what have you that attracts women more so than even just a guy who might be even more attractive, but got dumped recently or fired or what have you. Premature E, whatever it is. I think these actors bring that same momentum into the audition. And so all of a sudden, there's 10 people, and nine of them have the stink of failure on them because, no, they've been out, you know, for nine of them. This is the 30th audition they've been on in the last six months, and they fucking got nothing from it. And then there's the one person who's riding high off the Hughes Net, that Hughes Net money feeling good about, and they just walk in there with a certain swagger. And then there's this weird kind of fucking pheromone that they give off where the people in the room who aren't that smart and were much more animal than we know just go, I think that person should do it. And you're like, why? There are plenty of people that looked better said the same copy. It's like, I don't know. I want the person who has momentum. I want to be. There's a weird thing where it's like, I want to be associated with a winner. I want to hitch my wagon to the team that is the winning. Yeah, just the winner. I want that winner.

[Allison Rosen]

And you're right. You're right. More so with anything. With actors like you Will, we all had that thought. Like, all of a sudden, we couldn't get enough of Orlando Bloom. All of a sudden, we couldn't get enough of Sam Worthington. It's like he's an avatar and he's in Terminator. It's like, who is this guy? And we figure it out eventually. But you're right with the. With the momentum thing, it's like, all of a sudden, this guy must be in everything for a short period of time.

[Adam Carolla]

If you ask kids who. Little boys who are, you know, coming into that age where they're sports fans and ask them whatever age they are now. Cousin Sal grew up in Long Island. He's a huge Dallas Cowboys fan. Why? Well, because when he was 8, they were doing a lot of winning, and he saw them in America's Team and the cheerleaders and everything. And you asked my son who. You know, there's probably a bunch of little kids that are big San Antonio fans OR Big Miami LeBron Miami fans who live nowhere near big.

[Allison Rosen]

Tad has a Bulls tattoo, right? My dad grew up in the Bay Area.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on a second. It was one of these things where it's like, oh, God. Big Tad, who Jimmy Kimmel discovered at KROC for KROQ a million years ago, grew up in, like, Arleta, never lived anywhere but Southern California, and his mom worked at a potato chip factory. And he just came in when we met him in, you know, 1994. It's like, big. Huge Bulls fan. Huge Chicago Bulls fans. Like, yeah, because Michael Jordan's on their team and they just won four championships in a row. It's like, not nothing to do with it, just a big Bulls fan. Like, just. The guy lives. The guy lives in Arlita, who's never been to Chicago, whose hometown team is the Lakers, Whose hometown team is the Lakers. Just magically a massive Bulls fan. Because when you were 14, they started win whatever it was. And I can't do the. I can't do the complete math on him, but I know we met him when he was about 19. I'm a massive Bullseye. It's like, no, you're not. You're watching them win. So every kid. You know, it's kind of a weird thing, but if you found me fans. Now, it's a little tough in New York and LA because they have franchises who do pretty well year in and year out, but you could go to these other places and you find me the age, you find me the sport, and I'll find you the team you're magically a big fan of.

[Allison Rosen]

I'll give you a test. My dad grew up, born and raised in the Bay Area, San Francisco. Never really left his two favorite teams. Baseball. Born in 54.

[Adam Carolla]

Brooklyn Dodgers.

[Allison Rosen]

No, born in 54. So it would have been late 60s, mid to late 60s baseball team.

[Adam Carolla]

Yankees Cardinals.

[Allison Rosen]

Big, huge St. Louis Cardinals fan.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I don't know enough.

[Allison Rosen]

And then. But then early Stanford fell in love with football team.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Oh, Pittsburgh Steelers, Dallas Cowboy.

[Allison Rosen]

They went undefeated.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Miami Dolphins.

[Allison Rosen]

Love the Miami Dolphins.

[Adam Carolla]

Of course.

[Allison Rosen]

Everyone loved the. Miami. Loves the Miami Dolphins.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that. There. There you go.

[Allison Rosen]

Because they were kicking ass when he was in a teenager.

[Adam Carolla]

That's. But that's how we're attract, right?

[Brian Bishop]

That's Dan Marino.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, this is.

[Allison Rosen]

It is. But back then it was different.

[Brian Bishop]

Guys just seen it.

[Adam Carolla]

Bob Griesy.

[Brian Bishop]

It's one of the people I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Not. Not bad. Yeah. Bob Greasy and Mercury Morris. Jim Kick, great name.

[Allison Rosen]

Zonka.

[Adam Carolla]

Mercury Morris.

[Allison Rosen]

Bob Greasy.

[Adam Carolla]

Greasy and Morris. And Mercury had another name, but that was what he went by.

[Allison Rosen]

Mercury Morris.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, his name.

[Adam Carolla]

But that we all knew. So we're all attracted to whoever's doing the winning at this particular time. And that's it. And that's why I believe when people show up with a lot of personal momentum, people tend to follow that person. And when people have that wrung out of them, as I did at an early age, then it's harder to get laid, land jobs and get commercials for Hughesnet.

[Brian Bishop]

Now, can you fake momentum?

[Adam Carolla]

No, that. That's the problem. When you fake momentum, we like you less. So as a woman, when a guy comes in with the fake momentum.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, it's gross. I'm actually having a memory and I want to vomit.

[Allison Rosen]

Some girls do respond to that. I see. Because those douchebags have girls around.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, then that's momentum.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay.

[Gary]

Damn it.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, actually, don't all those like the game and all of that stuff, the mystery stuff stuff, Aren't they all about faking momentum? Like giving you sheets to fake.

[Adam Carolla]

But when it. When it worked. Well, listen, anything works on dumb people, but for the most part Women love momentum, and fake momentum turns them off. It's sort of. I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

And the memory I'm having is this guy who. I don't know where he got his tips, but he. He came across as so arrogant in this not charming way, right? Just this sort of swagger and this, like, this smirk, like, I know you want me kind of bullshit that made me want to vomit.

[Adam Carolla]

We're talking about Matt Fondelier. Let's just call it what it is. That was three years ago. Boom. It's a different Fondelier now. He was going through a phase, and that's all I want to say. No, I'll give you the analogy. Guy shows up wearing a vintage Rolex Submariner or something, and you go, wow, that's cool. That guy's arrived. That might be something that a woman was attracted to. Not a money thing, but more like that guy's wearing a really cool vintage watch. It's really hard to find and expensive. As soon as you find out it's a fake watch, better with no watch, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So that's how it goes. Real good fake, better with nothing. All right, let's bring it on home. What do we got here?

[Brian Bishop]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zip it, cunt.

[Giovanni]

That was the news with Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Chris Pratt's gonna do the reboot of Knight Rider.

[Allison Rosen]

Is that true?

[Adam Carolla]

That's what. That's what. Danny McBride. Please watch the foot Fish way.

[Allison Rosen]

No, don't.

[Adam Carolla]

Please.

[Allison Rosen]

No, don't watch it. It's not good.

[Adam Carolla]

The point is this, as I've said many times about Land of the Lost, there you can take the entire planet, everyone on the planet. I'm not just talking about the United States, just every soul on the planet, from born 10 minutes ago to going to die in 10 minutes. And you can throw them in one or two categories, which is I have never heard of the Land of the Lost, or I have and I fucking hated it. That's it. There's no other choice. That is all there is. Thus, that should not be a reason for you to make a movie entitled Land of Lost, considering all you have is people haven't heard of it or people have and fucking hated it. I'm. I'm going to go almost, not quite, but almost there with Knight Rider. It's a joke, right? Stop it, Hollywood.

[Allison Rosen]

This will be a 21 Jump street esque, tongue in cheek version of it, right? This can't be like a straight movie version.

[Adam Carolla]

I guess. I guess. Although I don't Know what Land of the Lost Will Ferrell version was?

[Allison Rosen]

That was a kids movie, I think. I don't know. I didn't see it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, look, they want to spoof it, they can spoof it. But on the other hand, I don't know. How about just coming up with an idea?

[Allison Rosen]

I think Chris Pratt might be the real deal. We'll see.

[Matt Fondelier]

No, he is.

[Adam Carolla]

See, you cannot fake this. You have to have the goods. On the other hand, it doesn't mean there's not a hundred other guys who can't do that. It's just you are that guy for that period of time, and then at some point, you'll stop and we'll decide, and then. It's weird. I don't know how it works. All right, remember, we got a new Amazon banner [e-mail] all the proceeds are going to fight against the patent trolls. So thank you in advance. Allison Rosen, your new best friend, everybody. New episodes every Monday and Thursday. Xena Nuzica, I think you met her. Oh, I.

[Brian Bishop]

Probably behind you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

She's really interesting. She's an entrepreneur and author, and she created a tea company and an inspirational speaker.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. I love golf. So I'm tuning in. So until next time, Adam Crowe for Allison Rosen and Bold Brian saying mahalo. Come on, fellas. Why don't you come on by here and say hi to us?

[Giovanni]

All right, this is adam Cole Show, 1382. Just the Gang hanging out. Come up next, we have adam Cole Show, 1502, another type of hangout. We have Jimmy Kimmel, Cousin Sal, Bill Simmons, David Alan Greer, Sonny Carolla. This is Adam Carolla over at Jimmy Kimmel's house with his son and the gang talking about the super bowl back in 2015. Hope you guys enjoy the episode.

[Matt Fondelier]

We're over at Jimmy Kimmel's house. It is the night of the Super Bowl. The Patriots just won, and I won my bet, and Ben Affleck has left the building, but Matt Damon should be showing up soon enough. And David Alan Greer and Bill Simmons and Jimmy Kimmel. And there's a lot of celebrities that are rolling around this place like me. Oh, and that's Natalia.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

Sonny is talking to a microphone that's not plugged in. I am here with my son Natalia.

[Sonny Carolla]

Hi.

[Matt Fondelier]

I mean, my daughter Natalia and my son Sunny. Sonny talking to a microphone that's actually plugged in.

[Sonny Carolla]

Like, they didn't hand it off to Marshall. It's the best running back there is.

[Matt Fondelier]

Crazy. Crazy. But a little more money for your college Fund.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Matt Fondelier]

We're sitting here at Jimmy Kimmel's house, and it's been a crazy night. Lots of celebrities, lots of fun, lots of booze. Yeah, maybe I've had a couple of drinks. That's all right. I'm gonna sober up before the show's over. Natalia's friend Cammy is here. Cammie want to say hi? Cammie is here. Cammie has a lot of allergies. Right, Cammie?

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

And Cammie's sleeping over tonight.

[Allison Rosen]

Uh.

[Sonny Carolla]

Oh, well, it means a movie for me.

[Matt Fondelier]

Cammie, what are your allergies?

[Sonny Carolla]

I'm allergic to eggs, dairy, and nuts, so it's kind of hard.

[Matt Fondelier]

Eggs, dairies. Sorry. Dairy, and nuts. All right, so we'll keep those away from a bit. And we have your EpiPen with me.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah. What's an EpiPen? An EpiPen is, like. It's a pen.

[Matt Fondelier]

It's a little syringe that'll keep Cami going if something happens. Natalia, did you throw ice cream on her once?

[Sonny Carolla]

Well, one time on accident, we had ice cream, Chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream, and so that it started melting and got in my hand, and I, like, swing my hand and sprayed all over her.

[Matt Fondelier]

Mm. Understood. All right, so where are we now, Natalia?

[Sonny Carolla]

We're in Jimmy's music room, also known as, like, a movie room. It's, like, now we turn into, like, studio.

[Matt Fondelier]

So it's an outside music room.

[Sonny Carolla]

It's not outside. Well, I mean, the room's outside.

[Matt Fondelier]

So his house is in the hills.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

And this isn't in his house. It's not attached to his house. It's outside of his house.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah, it's like a guest room. Part of his thing.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, he owns it, Sonny. But outside of his house is a music room.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yes. So in a workout room right next door.

[Matt Fondelier]

Paint the picture. What's going on? What's the room look like?

[Sonny Carolla]

It has drums. Drums of guitars and microphones that unplugged, which Sunny was speaking to earlier. Ukulele's pictures. Boards has a giant screen. A giant screen. It has Gary cabins, and it has.

[Matt Fondelier]

It doesn't always have Gary. So it's a room outside of his house, behind his house, right?

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right, so that's where we are tonight.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yes.

[Matt Fondelier]

The Patriots just won the Super Bowl.

[Sonny Carolla]

Sadly.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yes. Sadly for you guys.

[Sonny Carolla]

Except for I won't be feeling they should have won, by God.

[Matt Fondelier]

So Ben Affleck has left the building, but Matt Damon has agreed to come by and say hi. He's a movie star, but There's a David Alan Grier and there's Matt and then there's Bill Simmons and there's Jimmy Kimmel. So why don't you go rustle up David Alan Greer and whoever else wants to come in on this show and we'll sort of figure out these guys.

[Adam Carolla]

As we come in.

[Matt Fondelier]

So what? Thank you, Natalia. So what's going on right now is Gary is going back into the main house.

[Sonny Carolla]

No Gary anymore in the room.

[Matt Fondelier]

Right. We're sitting back in the back. So picture a house up in the Hollywood Hills.

[Sonny Carolla]

Modern. That's a modern house.

[Matt Fondelier]

Nice house. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

A barn and then.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah, with a barn. Barn.

[Matt Fondelier]

The back of the house is another.

[Sonny Carolla]

I gotta go to your restroom.

[Matt Fondelier]

And in the back of the house is another room. And we're sitting in the back of that detached house. So we're back in the detached room. Sunny, just left. So we're up and back. So you go up the hill.

[Adam Carolla]

You go the back.

[Matt Fondelier]

It's detached. And we're sitting back here. And David Alan Greer is supposed to come on the show.

[Sonny Carolla]

Do you want me to go get him?

[Matt Fondelier]

Well, Gary's going. Gonna go get him, but you could go get him.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Matt Fondelier]

Okay.

[Sonny Carolla]

Natalie has left the station. Coming back also.

[Matt Fondelier]

So Natalia's saying the mic down. She's getting Daryl and Greer. Cami, where are you going? So Cammie is Natalia's friend. And Cammie's spending night tonight, right?

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah, My sister is going to Valley Forge for a field trip, so we're.

[Matt Fondelier]

Having a slumber party. Right?

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

Tomorrow's a school day, right?

[Sonny Carolla]

It's a school day.

[Adam Carolla]

So.

[Matt Fondelier]

And what do you like about Natalia?

[Sonny Carolla]

She's nice and funny.

[Matt Fondelier]

Uh huh.

[Sonny Carolla]

And she's. Yeah, she's just really nice and funny.

[Matt Fondelier]

Okay, sorry. Natalia's back now. You guys were cheering for the Seahawks the whole time, right?

[Sonny Carolla]

He's also really thoughtful. David is coming.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, yeah, David is coming.

[Sonny Carolla]

I'm a bit aggressive. Be aggressive. B B aggressive. B E H E G R E.

[Adam Carolla]

S S. Do your chair. Go ahead.

[Sonny Carolla]

Okay. B aggressive. B, B aggressive. B B E A G G R E S S I V E aggressive. B aggressive.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right, here comes David Ellinger. Natalia, give your microphone to David Ellinger.

[Gary]

Nice cheer, ladies.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, the cord fell out of the mic.

[Gary]

Some more microphones.

[Matt Fondelier]

You're good. David Allen, Greer is here. Good to see you, baby.

[Gary]

Natalia, have you ever heard this cheer? Y' all won the game now you think you're hot, but we'll win the fight in the parking lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's go. Oh, let's go.

[Gary]

Yeah, that's. We used to chew.

[Matt Fondelier]

No, the great David Allen GR he have not.

[Sonny Carolla]

I will.

[Matt Fondelier]

What's going on? Dad, it's that game, man.

[Gary]

I thought. I thought Seattle was going to win.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, me too.

[Sonny Carolla]

So did I. Why didn't they run the ball? How can you not run the ball with the best running back in that condition?

[Adam Carolla]

Dude.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right. Easy. From the mountain. I know.

[Gary]

Know from the mouth.

[Matt Fondelier]

So sad. David Allen Greer is in.

[Gary]

Yes.

[Matt Fondelier]

I was going to say studio, but we're not really in the studio.

[Sonny Carolla]

Studio.

[Matt Fondelier]

Jimmy's house. Pretty good place, right?

[Gary]

Yeah, it's pretty nice. Sorry.

[Matt Fondelier]

What do you like about Jimmy's place?

[Gary]

The barn. It's so, you know. To be serious. The man built a barn, it's so humble, just to house a few chickens to get fresh eggs. So what could be better than that.

[Matt Fondelier]

You know, Nothing, if you ask me.

[Gary]

And he put a bar in there too, apparently. Chickens. Yeah, chickens love bars in barns, but.

[Matt Fondelier]

I know slid past that bar time. David, by the way, is doing some stand up now. If you want to know where David is doing stand up, go to David Allen career.net yes, but. Yes, Sunny. But he's also doing stand up at Sally Tomatoes.

[Gary]

Yes. You know that famous venue played there.

[Sonny Carolla]

Many times, Sally's Tomato.

[Gary]

I think it's Sally Tomatoes.

[Matt Fondelier]

Sally Tomatoes.

[Gary]

You know, Sally Tomatoes.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, that's in. That's February 11th. And then San Jose improvisation played there many times.

[Gary]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

February 12th through the 15th. And then Northwest Comedy Fest, British Columbia, February 19th through the 21st. And again, if you want to know where David's playing, just go to davidallenger.net David, let me ask you a question.

[Gary]

What's going on, man? Talk to me.

[Matt Fondelier]

You're an incredible talent.

[Gary]

Yes, sir.

[Matt Fondelier]

You can do anything you want.

[Gary]

Yes.

[Matt Fondelier]

Any time you want.

[Gary]

Yes.

[Matt Fondelier]

Stand up is just something you can do, right?

[Gary]

Well, I enjoy doing it.

[Matt Fondelier]

Bill Simmons.

[Gary]

Bill Simmons is here. And for the radio audience, Bill Collection is that of appeal. Tomato, you are very rare. In the red. In the face.

[Matt Fondelier]

Take Sonny's microphone.

[Gary]

Bill, what'd you think of the Bill Simmons?

[Cousin Sal]

I'm reeling.

[Matt Fondelier]

It's crazy, right?

[Gary]

It was a good game.

[Cousin Sal]

Is this live?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

It's crazy that they won, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it was. I got flashbacks to the Tyree catch and then they actually showed the replay of the Tyree catch when curse brought that crazy pass, right? That it bounced off him. It bounced off his foot, his groin area. Somebody else's hand went back to him and it was like, really? This is gonna happen again. And then all of a sudden, we had the ball.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

It is one of those things where thankfully, it happened fast. Fast enough for you not to process it, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

I kind of went dead inside.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yes.

[Cousin Sal]

You know, when serial killers say they can't feel anymore, they just. They just commit murders, but they can't feel it. That's just dead inside. That's how I felt after that catch. I was just dead inside. I was like, I'm right now dead inside.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Can I. Can I. Can I ask what's going on with you? Because you're. You're very red in the face. Is it the emotion of the game? Tanning booth. What's going on?

[Cousin Sal]

I'm kneeling.

[Gary]

Okay.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm emotional. I had a great day.

[Gary]

Now you're.

[Cousin Sal]

Tom Brady is now the greatest quarterback. Oh, thank you.

[Gary]

That's not. That's not what your date for today said.

[Cousin Sal]

I think Tom Brady quenched it. I think he quenched it.

[Gary]

Tony Kornheiser said. He said he can be mentioned in the argument, but it's not definitive that he is the greatest quarterback.

[Cousin Sal]

He likes Montana.

[Gary]

Yes, he said that. He said it has to be him in Montana.

[Cousin Sal]

I will say, with 11 minutes left, when you're down in a Super Bowl, I think there's two quarterbacks. You'd want him in Montana. I think those are the two. If you asked any football fan who really, like, if your life depends on it, I feel like those would be the two guys.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah. I agree. And I might mix Steve Young into that because of his mobility. Like he could. Just his athleticism.

[Cousin Sal]

And being a Mormon.

[Matt Fondelier]

And being a Mormon.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Matt Fondelier]

When I say mean being a Mormon.

[Gary]

What do you think. What do you think today's game says about Russell? Russell Wilson?

[Cousin Sal]

I thought he was really good.

[Adam Carolla]

He really articul.

[Cousin Sal]

Terrible first quarter.

[Matt Fondelier]

Super articulate. He loves the articular.

[Gary]

He's. Well, he's.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he's.

[Matt Fondelier]

He's well spoken. He's very.

[Cousin Sal]

Over and over again, though, these Super Bowls just come down to, like, either team could win. Last year's didn't. But for the most part now these games are so close, and it just comes down to three plays.

[Adam Carolla]

I was good, guys.

[Allison Rosen]

I was.

[Matt Fondelier]

I went on a walk with Sunny Natalia this morning.

[Cousin Sal]

Your. Your children?

[Matt Fondelier]

Yes.

[Cousin Sal]

That's good. You're spending time with them. That's nice. I like that.

[Matt Fondelier]

Normally, I just farm that out to the nanny, but, yeah, this morning we went for a walk, and I said, the Patriots have been to six Super Bowls, and one of them Was a blowout. That was the first one. The other five have been.

[Cousin Sal]

No, that was the first one wasn't a blowout.

[Adam Carolla]

Out.

[Cousin Sal]

Which one are you talking about? We've been. We've been to eight Super Bowls.

[Matt Fondelier]

Well, the Bears went to six with.

[Cousin Sal]

Brady, but the Bears one was super bowl was a blowout. And then the packers one was. Was a two touchdown game. It was actually closer than people.

[Gary]

Bill, I don't mean to interrupt. Hold on. Wait a minute. How many said Bill? You said we. What do you mean by we went.

[Cousin Sal]

To I'm on the team. You didn't know.

[Gary]

Dag. I guess not. Okay.

[Matt Fondelier]

It's a gay version of playing with the bats.

[Cousin Sal]

But no, you don't have a team. You don't understand what it's like. Your team left, but your team abandoned you.

[Matt Fondelier]

But what I'm saying is very good. The Bears game was a blowout. The rest of them were close is what. What I said. And this game was one of those things where it's like you as far as history goes, you want to give it to Brady. But on the other hand, it's kind of Russell Wilson throwing a pick at the goal line.

[Cousin Sal]

What would be interesting to see tomorrow what gets mentioned more, The. The Patriots part of it or the why did the Seattle throw the ball when you have Mar. Lynch and he's probably going to run for a touchdown?

[Gary]

Didn't Brady.

[Matt Fondelier]

Right.

[Gary]

Didn't Brady throw more picks tonight than he has in all five of his other super bowl appearances?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, I don't know.

[Gary]

Yeah, I think he did.

[Matt Fondelier]

I just.

[Gary]

That out there. It's true. That's what it said.

[Sonny Carolla]

You know, the Patriots cheated.

[Matt Fondelier]

Exactly.

[Gary]

They did. And what do we.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right, listen.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they deflated the page back up.

[Sonny Carolla]

That's too bad.

[Gary]

What did you say?

[Sonny Carolla]

20 sad. They deflayed the ball 20%.

[Gary]

Absolutely.

[Cousin Sal]

I. I have to go see my kids. Can you. Can I leave now?

[Matt Fondelier]

Yes, you can.

[Gary]

The great Bill Sim.

[Matt Fondelier]

Before.

[Gary]

Before I get on the podcast, Bill, can you call me out and so we can have a big feud?

[Cousin Sal]

You want a feud before that?

[Gary]

Yes, I want you to go. I called. Well.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, can we talk about one more thing for this?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Cousin Sal]

Fast and Furious seven. We together. There's two. Vin Diesel took his car from one.

[Matt Fondelier]

Skyscraper to the other.

[Gary]

Well, just remember I was a drag race.

[Cousin Sal]

Why did I say it for three? Fast and Furious is like, I need skyscrapers. Is it too much to ask for? And then boom, there they were.

[Gary]

It started as a drag race. And now I take it.

[Matt Fondelier]

Thanks Bill.

[Gary]

See you later, Bill. Bye. Bye.

[Sonny Carolla]

The patience did.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Yes. He gets it.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right.

[Sonny Carolla]

So last year.

[Matt Fondelier]

That was great. Bill Simmons, David Greer is here.

[Gary]

What's up, man? Who's the dude that. Who's the dude that made the interception, man, from the Patriots that won the game?

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, some Jewish.

[Gary]

Crying, you know, he.

[Matt Fondelier]

Was like, Tony Kornheiser behind you.

[Gary]

Tony Cornheiser.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, he just left. All right.

[Sonny Carolla]

Boom. Patriot it.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right. Sorry.

[Gary]

Glycemic, you know. Anyways, did you enjoy the game, bro? How much did you bet on it?

[Adam Carolla]

Five grand. What?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Sonny Carolla]

He's crazy, right? I know, right?

[Gary]

Crazy.

[Matt Fondelier]

I was.

[Sonny Carolla]

I was so determined. Now I think Pete, Carol.

[Matt Fondelier]

Well, by the way, first off, in what universe you bet five grand on a game and have both your kids rooting against you?

[Gary]

Well, first of all, you never tell your kids how much you bet.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a little.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, I agree with him. He did. We're talking sea house here. What were you thinking?

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Matt Fondelier]

What happened was, if you guys would like to know is I was watching two weeks ago with cousin Sal when the Patriots.

[Sonny Carolla]

The Patriots.

[Matt Fondelier]

When the Seahawks just got past the.

[Sonny Carolla]

Green Bay was going to Packers.

[Matt Fondelier]

Right. Thank you. I mean, it was a crazy thing that they got past them, right? Like that game was over.

[Sonny Carolla]

That was nuts.

[Matt Fondelier]

Thank you, Sonny. It was nuts. And I was watching a game and I said, oh, my God. I mean, they shouldn't even be here. I mean, Green Bay should be here.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I turned prediction.

[Sonny Carolla]

That was my prediction in the beginning of the season.

[Matt Fondelier]

Thank you, Sonny. And I said, what's the spread for the game? And I said, that's probably Seattle favored by two. And it's favored by two. I said, what happens when they beat the Colts 38 to 10? Are they still going to be favored by two? Yeah, that's what I said to him. But they beat them 45 to 7. And so I said, I want to get a bet in. And when they beat him 45 to 7, it was still a point and a half.

[Gary]

Hold on. How much did you bet?

[Matt Fondelier]

How much did you lose today, Cousin Sal, everybody.

[Gary]

Yeah, you know, you know how much you lost, how much you lose?

[Adam Carolla]

17,000.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know.

[Matt Fondelier]

I don't know.

[Giovanni]

That's a lot.

[Gary]

17,000.

[Giovanni]

You know, Daniel, our friend usually hits on the safety. Bet 50 to 1. Last score of the game being a safety at 50 to 1. So he's furious at that was the safety. Almost. But I will have your cash tomorrow. I'm going to give it to August what becomes of it at that point?

[Gary]

Wait a minute. I thought you. I thought you lost. Did you win or lose?

[Matt Fondelier]

I won.

[Gary]

Okay, cool.

[Matt Fondelier]

I was supposed to lose. But no but. All right.

[Sonny Carolla]

You were favored to lose.

[Matt Fondelier]

Sal knows betting, cousin. Sal knows betting.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Matt Fondelier]

What happened? That was different tonight we went over the under over. Right.

[Giovanni]

Yeah. The sports books are reported morning. It's the biggest loss in Vegas since 2008. Because the game went over and because almost 70% of the money was on New England.

[Gary]

Wait a minute. The game went over?

[Giovanni]

Over the total 47 and a half. Which was looking dismal after was no score after the first quarter.

[Matt Fondelier]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Giovanni]

Yeah. But everyone got it together, right?

[Matt Fondelier]

But it's. It's crazy how like, you know, with eight minutes left in the second quarter, it's like what that the scores 10 to 3. Like how's this ever gonna go over? But it always. It always does. Didn't make so went over. The Pats won and Vegas is gonna. Gonna eat it. What were some of the prop bets?

[Giovanni]

Well, everyone had Gordon Kowski to score a touchdown. That was about even odds.

[Gary]

How many did people like that score?

[Matt Fondelier]

I think he scored one. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, sorry.

[Giovanni]

I should get closer.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait.

[Sonny Carolla]

The one that. That got them ahead. Know that?

[Giovanni]

Yeah, they had the one. What else was. What else was? As long as like a defensive touchdown doesn't make it if there's no safety and the game doesn't go to overtime, Vegas doesn't need it on a lot of the long odds.

[Matt Fondelier]

But.

[Allison Rosen]

Can I just jump in?

[Gary]

You got the voice of a broken man. He's staring off all up and he's like. I guess you could call him defendant when grand.

[Giovanni]

I don't know about broken.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you care?

[Matt Fondelier]

You just get the big right.

[Giovanni]

Well, you know why I care. Belichick, he. He's a genius all of a sudden he ran the clock down to nothing. He gave Brady no chance to come back in case they got the ball back. That was Seattle on second down. That should be a run. Either Wilson runs or lynch runs and get cute on third down if you want, but ah to throw there.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right, Sonny, put. How about the fact that the.

[Gary]

How about the fact.

[Allison Rosen]

I think that's.

[Gary]

A little bigger news than this stinky game, am I not?

[Giovanni]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Come on. He was the greatest sports guy in the history of the Olympics.

[Giovanni]

What if this game turned around like I want to be a man. This is one of the greatest Super Bowls.

[Gary]

Listen, he should be allowed to speak his truth.

[Adam Carolla]

Exactly.

[Gary]

Anyone can change Their mind. Anyone can change their mind. All right.

[Matt Fondelier]

Tag. It is incredible. And how's it sound?

[Giovanni]

Congratulations, Adam. That's a big, big win.

[Gary]

How much. How much did you win, Adam?

[Adam Carolla]

Five grand.

[Giovanni]

$5,000.

[Gary]

Who won? Who won the most here that, you.

[Giovanni]

Know, at this party?

[Gary]

Yeah.

[Giovanni]

No, it's Adam. It was definitely Adam.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gary]

What do you think Tom Brady was praying for? You know, they. They had him at the end when he was sitting there. Seattle had the ball. They were down at the. You know, right at the goal line. He's like, dear God, I know I have the hottest chick on the planet, right? I didn't want pants on like a male model. I have millions of dollars, a couple of super bowl rings. My life is pretty much perfect. But, dear Lord, please, can you do. Make that colored guy drop the ball or something. Come on, God, can I ask for one more favor? Even though, like, every day I step in pots of gold. Like, what is he praying for? What did God say? What, Tom?

[Adam Carolla]

What is it now?

[Gary]

What is it now?

[Allison Rosen]

He just wanted.

[Gary]

Giselle has a corn on her toe. Oh, my God.

[Matt Fondelier]

Well, it kind of evens them up for the tuck rule and for the Rams game.

[Gary]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

And lots of, you know, the Rams.

[Sonny Carolla]

Game where the Rams won or the one they lost.

[Matt Fondelier]

But what I was saying was, is the Patriots have won four Super Bowls now. Right?

[Gary]

He has four rings.

[Giovanni]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

What is the average advantage of all those games? Like, two. The first.

[Giovanni]

The first three, they won by three points.

[Matt Fondelier]

Right.

[Giovanni]

And this one, they won by four.

[Matt Fondelier]

Right.

[Gary]

But the Giants game, he very could have. Very easily could have five.

[Matt Fondelier]

But the point is, whatever games they've won, they've never really won by any.

[Giovanni]

In these games. Yeah, they don't run it up.

[Matt Fondelier]

No, they've won. I mean, the Rams game, they won at the end. This game, they won at the end.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm trying to think.

[Giovanni]

Carolina, they won 32, 20. Like, Philly 24, 21.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

I mean, they've never, like, all their wins in Super Bowls. I mean, when you. When you take kind of a look at the dynasties, you look at Pittsburgh, you look at San Francisco, like, some of those teams, they had some close wins and they had some big wins.

[Adam Carolla]

But Patriots, especially with Joe Montana, four wins.

[Matt Fondelier]

That have all been, like, right down to it. Right.

[Gary]

Backing on what you're saying, Adam, what do you think that voicemail is going to sound like tomorrow morning? From Bridget Moynihan, who Tom Brady dumped in her third choir trimester.

[Giovanni]

She's cool with all.

[Bill Simmons]

Hello?

[Adam Carolla]

Hey.

[Gary]

Hey. Super Bowl Winner. You know what? You're not going to win at custody. Okay?

[Matt Fondelier]

Jimmy Kimmel, everybody.

[Giovanni]

Adam, when we were growing up, every super bowl was a blowout, Right? Like every super bowl was a blowout.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

And now, you remember last year, Last.

[Gary]

Year, everyone talked through the whole game.

[Giovanni]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Until Prince came on a new girl and everybody shut up. And they're like, prince is on.

[Matt Fondelier]

That was in his studio. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Hi, everyone. I brought a whole bunch of kids with me. Also. Frankie, what did you say before? What the.

[Sonny Carolla]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Said.

[Bill Simmons]

What the hell? She said, what's going on in here? Well, wow, it's exciting to have you guys in my home.

[Matt Fondelier]

We're sitting in Jimmy's home right now. David Allen, creator's here. The beautiful children are here.

[Gary]

The voices of tomorrow and son is here.

[Giovanni]

We're basically killing time until Adam Silbers up and can drive home.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, I gotta drive the Asian kid home.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you bet on trouble?

[Bill Simmons]

I did not bet on the game. No.

[Gary]

Adam, five spots.

[Bill Simmons]

I know. Adam did. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Sweet of you to donate that all the charity round of applause for Adam, everybody.

[Gary]

And you know what I just found out? GPS showed me a back way to get to the house, which was much cooler than the way last year.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, let's go share it with the listeners.

[Gary]

Well, what you doing?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it was a real treat. Take care. I'm saying goodbye to my guests as.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Real treat having you. Having the broadcast here in my home.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gary]

What a barn. You know, I was telling Adam earlier, Jimmy, that, you know, a lot of the listeners don't know that you came to me last year and you said, david, I just want to build a barn for my chickens. And I was like, wow, you're really into organic eggs. Yes, I am. And what an amazing. I call it a chicken house. It's just so humble, you know, and just this is where the eggs are laid. Kudos to you.

[Bill Simmons]

I wanted a place where humans and animals would be comfortable. All right.

[Gary]

Then apparently, chickens like beer and liquor, which is fine by me.

[Sonny Carolla]

And a chicken barn.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, it's beautiful. It's great.

[Bill Simmons]

By the way, when we walked around the barn the first time with Sunny, I realized after, I don't know, about six, seven minutes, taking a tour, that Sunny knows more about building things than I do.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah.

[Gary]

Was he like, ah, this board's loose?

[Bill Simmons]

He's like, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Is this reclaimed wood? I was like, yeah, it's mine. Is that what you mean?

[Adam Carolla]

It's.

[Bill Simmons]

It's my wood. I don't know. I Don't know who claimed it, but it is mine.

[Gary]

Can I ask one technical question? You're like pork chart that's on the wall.

[Bill Simmons]

Is that the neon?

[Gary]

Is that new or did you.

[Bill Simmons]

That is new. Yeah, Baby Doll Dixon got that for me. Yeah. But you know, before he became a billionaire, told me he did the old.

[Gary]

He did the old Don King on you. He double charged you and then gave.

[Adam Carolla]

It to you as a gift.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah, that sounds right. That sounds right. What were you guys talking about when I walked in? I feel like I meant. Oh, did you guys see that game?

[Matt Fondelier]

That's what we're talking about is do.

[Gary]

You think Tom Brady is the greatest won the ball? Do you think Tom Brady's the greatest quarterback?

[Bill Simmons]

By the way, how bummed would Pete Carol be to know right now that children are going, how do you not run the.

[Gary]

I do love the look on the losers team's face. It's just always great with just that shocked.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Did you see Richard?

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, my God.

[Gary]

Bad taste.

[Sonny Carolla]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

It's fun to see human reaction of any kind. Really.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yes, yes.

[Bill Simmons]

You really, really get to see it in slow motion.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, yeah. And it's always with dreadlocks. I feel like it's always exaggerated because with, you know, with us with non dreads, we can do a lot of head shaking and pouting and you don't get. But we don't get the crazy, you know, back and forth undulation of the, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Like Rick James, if he had like a close crop God haircut.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, we wouldn't.

[Bill Simmons]

We wouldn't know who he was.

[Matt Fondelier]

Wouldn't be talking about him right now. No. You need the dreads, right? Dag, sir, have you ever been close to dreadlocks?

[Gary]

I did. I had like little cootie, cootie stumps from way back when I had hair. But you know, my, you know, the little twists.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Gary]

But you know what my dad is. It really infuriates him that football.

[Matt Fondelier]

What was the name of the book that your dad.

[Gary]

Black Rage.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Why does it infuriate him that black feels it's unmanly. And I'm like, well, kids today, you know, I'm like, you know, black dudes finally thought up a way to grow hair in a way and wear it so they could flip it and tie it and all that stuff, you know, like white dudes have been doing.

[Bill Simmons]

So he thinks it makes you look like a girl.

[Gary]

Yes, he does. You know, and I'm like, well, you know, these dudes love it. So how old is your father? He was a slave and he freed himself.

[Adam Carolla]

He did.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, well.

[Gary]

So, yeah, he's 88 years old. I mean, come on. He's like, I'm dead soon.

[Giovanni]

Rosie Greer.

[Gary]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, you know, his generation, he's like. He's baffled.

[Bill Simmons]

He was around for the dreadlock decision.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yes, he was.

[Gary]

He was, he was, he was, he was. But I mean, he's just bewildered, you know, generationally bewildered. Like, why would any man want to wear his hair like this?

[Bill Simmons]

It's just like everyone's father.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gary]

I'm like, like, let's eat dinner. Life's too short.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right, so Jimmy, by the way, Jimmy Kimmel Live weeknights, 11:35, ABC. I don't know why I'm reading that.

[Bill Simmons]

Is any of this being recorded? Yeah, it doesn't seem, you know, we're in the room where I would typically do karaoke, and instead of. We're standing in front of the screen where we'd read the word from karaoke, and none of us are singing.

[Matt Fondelier]

Jimmy, tell me how when you guys do, like, just walk us through the process for the layperson, you're gonna do a bit like you did last week about Deflategate and Tom Brady. You're gonna get Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and all these other guys to chime in on it. How do you. Who thinks of it? And then take us through the entire.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, in this case, typically, we. If we'd see something big or somebody had an idea for something big, we would then seek these people out. But it's hard to get people to do something quickly. So this was an idea that John Krasinski and Matt Damon had.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, idea.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. They called me on Wednesday and asked if. Asked if we could do it, and. And so I said, yeah, we'll do it. We'll get it together real quick. But Ben was in Atlanta, and I don't know where Steven Tyler was.

[Matt Fondelier]

And Ben was, like, standing in front of a farmhouse.

[Bill Simmons]

He was on set in Atlanta.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

And so then everybody sent it to us, and we, you know, we had a show Thursday night. It was our last show of the week. We had to get it on in time, and we got it edited moments before the show started.

[Matt Fondelier]

And so they reached out to you. They said, this is our idea. And then Dickie got involved, and Ben and Matt and. Oh, I'm sorry.

[Bill Simmons]

Steven Tyler Evans.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, the guy plays.

[Bill Simmons]

Captain America.

[Matt Fondelier]

Captain America. I. I don't know. I don't. I'M not into homoerotic fantasies. Was he wearing a fake mustache?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he was.

[Matt Fondelier]

His mustache.

[Bill Simmons]

That was a fake mustache? Yeah, that was a fake mustache mustache.

[Matt Fondelier]

Why was he wearing a fake mustache? Like, I was trying.

[Gary]

Because he's cheating.

[Giovanni]

Like the team.

[Bill Simmons]

Sal, I thought you were happy they.

[Gary]

Won, you know, Jimmy, when you did.

[Bill Simmons]

I think you were happy they won.

[Giovanni]

No, I mean, I gave out the Seahawks on Sports center, but it's all right. It's all fine.

[Bill Simmons]

It'll be okay.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, it'll be okay.

[Giovanni]

I have to go now. I have to see. I have someone meeting me. I'm selling my car out front.

[Bill Simmons]

Are you really?

[Giovanni]

Yeah, I'm gonna sell a car.

[Gary]

That's shame.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm sorry.

[Giovanni]

Really nice seeing everyone, Adam. I'm gonna give Mike August your money tomorrow.

[Matt Fondelier]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Jimmy.

[Giovanni]

Thank you.

[Bill Simmons]

Does Mike get a cut? My pleasure, Cousin Sal. Cousin Sal, everybody. There he goes.

[Gary]

When. When you guys did the how to Tell Black People Apart, a lot of people hit me up on social media, like, yeah, they bringing chocolate news back. It's good that Jimmy let you, you know, use your own voice and speak for yourself and, you know, add the bit. And I was like. Actually, they wrote it for me, right? And it was really awesome, man. It was really funny.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, you did a great job with it.

[Gary]

Well, I know, but I'm saying that.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, and you set me up to.

[Gary]

Succeed, which some people don't always do.

[Bill Simmons]

When you say that, you mean Adam.

[Matt Fondelier]

The has helped you more than me.

[Gary]

No, you have.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah.

[Sonny Carolla]

No, but wait.

[Gary]

I was talking to your cousin tonight. Jimmy.

[Bill Simmons]

Which one? One.

[Matt Fondelier]

He has 13.

[Adam Carolla]

You're 13?

[Bill Simmons]

Female.

[Matt Fondelier]

Male.

[Gary]

Female.

[Adam Carolla]

Mickey.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gary]

This is your 12th year.

[Bill Simmons]

This is our 13th year now.

[Sonny Carolla]

Nice.

[Gary]

Congratulations.

[Sonny Carolla]

Wait, a boy.

[Bill Simmons]

A lot of them. I don't know.

[Gary]

Well, you know. You know, Wendy Williams, she just did a thousand. But anyway, congratulations.

[Sonny Carolla]

Wait, you're 13th year of what?

[Bill Simmons]

What?

[Sonny Carolla]

13. You said something about your 13th year of something?

[Bill Simmons]

Hold on, I'm gonna talk to Sunny here in the corner.

[Matt Fondelier]

Talk to him.

[Bill Simmons]

Sunny, what's going on with you? Do you have a girlfriend?

[Sonny Carolla]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

How come?

[Sonny Carolla]

Because I don't like anyone.

[Bill Simmons]

Are there? But you like girls in general?

[Sonny Carolla]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

You don't? Or you do?

[Sonny Carolla]

Some.

[Bill Simmons]

Some.

[Gary]

A little bit.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. You see what happens when you chime in?

[Sonny Carolla]

Sort of.

[Gary]

Sunny, how old are you?

[Sonny Carolla]

You eight and a half.

[Gary]

Eight?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

He's.

[Bill Simmons]

He's getting big.

[Gary]

That's beautiful.

[Bill Simmons]

He's a good athlete, this kid.

[Matt Fondelier]

He's a good.

[Bill Simmons]

Know a lot about construction and cars.

[Gary]

All right.

[Sonny Carolla]

Especially Lamborghinis.

[Bill Simmons]

Especially Lamborghini.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right, Sonny, quiet now.

[Gary]

Oh, boy.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right, I'm gonna do that guy.

[Gary]

You know that guy that his doing a live. A live cut off. And the son killed his dad because he was angry.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

Wise.

[Gary]

Where do the wise. Sonny's cute.

[Matt Fondelier]

Now, listen, if you.

[Gary]

Dad, where's my Lamborghini?

[Bill Simmons]

Why do you call me Sunny?

[Gary]

Look at me, dad. This isn't a car show, okay?

[Matt Fondelier]

I've always said with the Menendez brothers, like, if Sunny says in Italia, hey, I think we should shoot mom and dad on Sunday night. And, yeah, Natalia says, what time? That means I failed as father. Yeah, I've done something wrong.

[Bill Simmons]

One of our big subjects when we first met, when we used to sit at lunch for hours talking about this stuff, eventually you decided it would become a podcast. But the Menendez brothers, we talk about all the time and how the parents. If they did do it, the parents.

[Matt Fondelier]

Deserved it, Natalia may say, because one.

[Bill Simmons]

Kid can be one kid. Kid, right, can go south. But when two of them go south, it's your own.

[Matt Fondelier]

Natalia may say to Sunny, in seven years, hey, listen, I'm thinking about taking a shotgun and taking out Mom, Remember.

[Gary]

What I told you earlier?

[Matt Fondelier]

Sonny would be like, oh, my God, no. These people love us. They raised us. I cherish them. There's no way. But if he goes, what time Sunday, that means we've done a horrible job.

[Bill Simmons]

It's the same philosophy I used when I got LASIK surgery, because I thought, well, they do one eye at a time, so, you know, odds are only, like, one in a million. You'll go blind. But the odds of going blind in both eyes are right.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you start.

[Gary]

Did you. Did you get Lasik?

[Adam Carolla]

I did.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, like 20 years ago.

[Gary]

And you, You've never had to get it again?

[Bill Simmons]

No, I've never. I've not. And it's still pretty good.

[Gary]

All right.

[Matt Fondelier]

And Jimmy used to have to bring around his solution.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, with the contact lens and, like.

[Matt Fondelier]

When I sleep overnight.

[Adam Carolla]

And why was he sleeping over?

[Bill Simmons]

I was married. I had children.

[Adam Carolla]

Why was I sleeping at your house?

[Gary]

Hey, Jim. Because speaking of sleepovers for adult men, you know, Bruce Jenner's changing into a woman.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that true?

[Bill Simmons]

He said that?

[Adam Carolla]

He is.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, I feel like you're trying to trick us into watching his reality show, and he's not really a boy.

[Sonny Carolla]

Wants to be a girl.

[Gary]

Well, maybe not the right platform for this gal, but.

[Matt Fondelier]

No Jimmy, no Sonny.

[Bill Simmons]

Sometimes when a boy falls very much.

[Matt Fondelier]

On the ukulele, you know, Jimmy, let me, let me tell you a story. The, the contact lenses. One of the bigger issues was when we were going to go down to El Segundo and go out on the half day boat and go fishing.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Gary]

This is, and this is very brokeback.

[Matt Fondelier]

We were gonna leave at like 5:30. But you, you came over at like.

[Adam Carolla]

12, like midnight, right?

[Bill Simmons]

And I slept there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

And then we were gonna head out and then we went to a Mexican joint at like 3am in El Segundo.

[Bill Simmons]

Bad idea.

[Matt Fondelier]

And we huevos rancheros. And then Jimmy threw up all over the boat and then slept on top of the like hatch the entire half day boat.

[Bill Simmons]

But anything, one fish. And then I held it up for all to see. I proclaimed myself the best fisherman on the boat and then started ralphing incessantly into the water.

[Matt Fondelier]

He like he was chumming the water.

[Bill Simmons]

It couldn't only been a half day. That had to be half day, like 12 hours.

[Matt Fondelier]

Called it a half day boat. But it was longer than fishing for.

[Bill Simmons]

Half of a day.

[Matt Fondelier]

We're fishing for our life. I, I, I, I, I don't remember.

[Bill Simmons]

You remember what happened at the end day of the, that fishing trip though?

[Matt Fondelier]

Everyone gave you a fisherman gave me.

[Bill Simmons]

One of their catch, one of their fish to take it. No, this is a good thing to take home and cook because I didn't get the fish. And Adam, Adam declared it the spirit of the mariner.

[Matt Fondelier]

He was asleep on deck. He was passed out on deck and I kept telling him go down below and like lay down on like one.

[Adam Carolla]

Of the.

[Bill Simmons]

The problem is I was covered up by people's jackets. Except for I didn't realize my nose was sticking out from under the jackets and my nose was, I looked like a vomiting clown at the end.

[Sonny Carolla]

Wait, dad, dad, where did you get my new ring tune tone from?

[Bill Simmons]

That is a good question.

[Matt Fondelier]

What's the new ringtone?

[Bill Simmons]

It's like being back on the air upon a dude.

[Matt Fondelier]

It's on itunes by the way.

[Gary]

Can we, guys can.

[Sonny Carolla]

I'm like, are you kidding me? The ref didn't see the thing where.

[Gary]

The guy like guys, can we talk about Katy Perry? Us men?

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Did you see Katy Perry?

[Gary]

It was very impressive.

[Bill Simmons]

I felt you enjoyed that performance.

[Gary]

Well, she was literally riding a flaming comet.

[Bill Simmons]

And did you think it was a little surprising?

[Sonny Carolla]

She is insanely sunny.

[Bill Simmons]

Did you think it was surprising that she sang I Kissed a Girl and I like, it seemed like maybe there might be like a group of people that might not like, you know that.

[Gary]

I tell you One person who loved it. Bruce Jenner, you know, because such bravery to transform yourself. Anyways, Yeah. I.

[Bill Simmons]

Is it possible that he's faking this? This to make us think that maybe he's got something? Because, I mean, otherwise, who would watch his reality show?

[Matt Fondelier]

I was saying to Dag during the game that. Not. You know, when he was saying to me, this is the most insane thing on the planet. I said, not since Liberace's boyfriend was, you know, surgically transformed into Liberace. So Liberace could have sex with Liberace?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Has something that's insane.

[Bill Simmons]

That's masturbating.

[Gary]

I mean, I thought you could say masterful.

[Matt Fondelier]

My whole point. Point is to find something as far away for me.

[Gary]

Thank you.

[Matt Fondelier]

For me to have sex with. Right.

[Gary]

I. I concur.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. Sunny, You. What are you doing?

[Matt Fondelier]

I mean, I was going for the opposite. I couldn't get any. My whole plans because. Far away from me to have sex with.

[Gary]

Yeah, that's.

[Matt Fondelier]

That's all plan. Sonny.

[Bill Simmons]

Sonny wants to back me up.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Right.

[Matt Fondelier]

So.

[Gary]

But listen back to you. Remember when I said, when you turn 18, the Lambo is yours, man. And if Pops doesn't give it to you, what's the plan? You take it, baby. That's it.

[Bill Simmons]

Menendez style.

[Gary]

That's right.

[Matt Fondelier]

The notion that you would try to create you to have sex with you is insane.

[Adam Carolla]

And, well, I don't know.

[Gary]

Everybody's getting nervous with the kids.

[Adam Carolla]

It's creative.

[Matt Fondelier]

Bruce Jenner, I mean, when you see him on that Wheaties box.

[Adam Carolla]

Greatest athlete in the world.

[Matt Fondelier]

World.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe Wheaties caused this, but you realize.

[Gary]

Would you realize a whole generation of people like his kids, they're not old enough to really know him like we.

[Bill Simmons]

Do, and they don't care.

[Gary]

As an Olympic.

[Bill Simmons]

To me, it was like. I don't.

[Adam Carolla]

I was.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, I went along with the idea. He was, you know, our, like, America, like our greatest sports hero. And then he's down. Husband of a reality star. And it's really sad.

[Gary]

He is. Yeah. Well, he's. He's getting his own show now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Gets to speak his truth.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right. So. Dang.

[Bill Simmons]

When does that come on?

[Gary]

I don't know, but we gotta watch that together. I would love to.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Matt Fondelier]

Do you think he's going to become a woman?

[Gary]

I'm just.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey.

[Bill Simmons]

I feel like trying to convince us that. That he is he. I think they want us to think that didn't happen.

[Gary]

If what Jimmy says it doesn't happen, that's going to be.

[Matt Fondelier]

Hold on. On a real greatest celebrity boxing match ever. Bruce Jenner goes against Chaz Bono. Right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

The ultimate woman against the ultimate male. Now swapping. Now getting into the squared circle.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, speak.

[Gary]

We gotta. We gotta digress for real quick. Pacquiao. What was Pacquiao like, man?

[Matt Fondelier]

Pacquiao.

[Gary]

Well, I love your face. The face of Adam when you're punching the bags. You're like, I could take them. I out.

[Matt Fondelier]

No, no, no. God bless Pacquiao, because I said some things about the Filipino people, and there was a fatwa, you know, called upon me.

[Gary]

Filipino fwa.

[Bill Simmons]

Filipino fatwa. With a ph.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, with a pha. And Manny, many years ago, like, called it off.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, he's like, yeah, no, he's. He's.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, he's a nice guy. You know, he's like, I saw you in the documentary. He's like, do not kill this.

[Bill Simmons]

He sent me a baby gift.

[Matt Fondelier]

Wow. He's a sweet guy. So when he came on, I just surprised him. I said, you want me to hold.

[Adam Carolla]

The focus pad for you or you.

[Matt Fondelier]

Want to hold him for me? And he's like, I'll hold him for you.

[Adam Carolla]

And not.

[Gary]

You were like a kid on Christmas Day, man.

[Sonny Carolla]

But you did that for me when we were little. And then.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Sonny Carolla]

I remember once I got so good at it, I punched your glove off and mine.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, I kind of did him.

[Bill Simmons]

That's probably why you don't do it anymore.

[Matt Fondelier]

He's scared.

[Gary]

Don't tell him.

[Matt Fondelier]

You're right. I'll tell him later.

[Sonny Carolla]

And then my glove hit me in the head.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, but, yeah, he was a totally. He's a totally.

[Gary]

What do you say about the Merryweather fight? Is it gonna happen?

[Matt Fondelier]

I think it's gonna happen. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He's fighting Lee Merryweather.

[Gary]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, he's gonna kill her. See this?

[Gary]

How black. Say Mayweather. Say Mayweather.

[Bill Simmons]

Mayweather.

[Gary]

Meriwe say Adam. How do you say, Like, Adam Adams. Say Jimmy.

[Bill Simmons]

Jimmy.

[Gary]

Jimmy's.

[Matt Fondelier]

Okay.

[Gary]

Say Kimmel.

[Bill Simmons]

Kimmel.

[Gary]

Kimballs. Kimbles. Jimmy. Kimble's.

[Bill Simmons]

Wait a minute.

[Matt Fondelier]

McDonald's. Are they.

[Bill Simmons]

I saw them talking McDonald's. No, I saw them talking at a basketball game.

[Matt Fondelier]

Now they're gonna.

[Adam Carolla]

They're gonna.

[Matt Fondelier]

He's gonna get 65 million and Mayweather's gonna get 80 million. Like that.

[Gary]

That is a lot of cheese, even for you, James. After.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah, I mean, a lot of money, not cheese.

[Gary]

Yeah, that's scratch, Brother Kate.

[Matt Fondelier]

It's called prize fighting.

[Gary]

That's right, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Muhammad Ali is. Well, he's speechless.

[Matt Fondelier]

Well, no, I mean, they're gonna get. They're not gonna get 25 million. He's gonna get. Get 60 million and Mayweather's gonna get.

[Sonny Carolla]

80 million more money, so that's better.

[Matt Fondelier]

He's gonna do it. He wants to do it. Mayweather wants to do it.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a money grab, the whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm all for the boxes.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah. And I, I think as I was saying to you, sounding quiet, as I was saying to Pacquiao, I think in a weird way he's jacked the price up. Like, I mean, the last four years, the price has just gone up, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think holding out and making the. Making it more interesting, there will be a certain point at which they become so old that it's like, all right.

[Matt Fondelier]

Well, maybe this is it. They're going to make the fight. It's going to happen in, you know, June, July or May 2nd. That's as I say, it's going to be like someone's going to get 50 million. Someone's going to get 70 million.

[Gary]

Wouldn't you. Fat fight Pacquiao for 70 million million.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah. Do anything for $70 million. All right, quickly, proflowers.com. valentine's Day, right around the corner.

[Adam Carolla]

It is.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah. Next week. Dag. Wait, don't fall asleep on this. One dozen assorted roses with three, it's a free glass mask. Dang. Wake up, you guys.

[Bill Simmons]

A.

[Matt Fondelier]

You got a lady friend out there, right?

[Gary]

Lady friend.

[Matt Fondelier]

Okay, well, you want to get her free glass vase. You want to get her a dozen roses? 19.99, right? Or, dag, you're sleeping on a deal picture. A picture of my favorite body. Just wake up and listen. They got a deal over here. Two dozen assorted roses. Two dozen assorted roses. Roses plus you get the ruby red vase.

[Gary]

Plus I'm gonna give my lady a chocolate chocolate rose.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right, you get her chocolate rose.

[Gary]

Adam Corollas.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, no, just Corolla. Go to proflowers.com. use my code. A's with tag. Wake up.

[Gary]

Sorry, man.

[Matt Fondelier]

All right, listen to me, all right, they're gonna last at least seven days or you get your money back. Back delivery is guaranteed. Go to proflowers.com, click on the blue. Click on the.

[Bill Simmons]

He's got sleep apnea.

[Adam Carolla]

Click.

[Matt Fondelier]

Listen. Click. Click on the blue microphone, top right hand corner. Type in A's wake up deck. Order today.

[Bill Simmons]

Hold on, let me write. Start from the top again.

[Gary]

Please don't.

[Matt Fondelier]

Midnight on Friday. Go to proflowers.com. all right.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay.

[Gary]

What you gonna get your Wife for Valentine's Day.

[Bill Simmons]

Let's see. Flowers, probably dinner.

[Gary]

Now, you were telling me you like to do last minute. So you just stop at the intersection and whatever the reason, whatever I can.

[Bill Simmons]

Jump out and grab while the guy wanders away from the bus. That's what she'll get. Sometimes they wind up on the windshield, sometimes they wind up all over the road. But I'll get at least one of them home.

[Gary]

Do you like when a, like when your wife, does your wife ever give you flowers?

[Bill Simmons]

Never. I like that I do get flowers from people sometimes.

[Gary]

And is it ever the people you want to get them from?

[Bill Simmons]

It's, you know, it's always, it's like a nice thought and it's like a classy thing, but I don't want them.

[Gary]

So in other words, somebody like, I don't know, like Evander Holyfield. Done. Hey, man, I was thinking about you, dog. Any simple sound, here's two dozen roses.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that, that I would, I think that I'd get a kick out of.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I was thinking about you, about you dog.

[Matt Fondelier]

You know, I think Vander does the dog.

[Bill Simmons]

I wonder if Evander has ever sent flowers to anyone.

[Gary]

He probably sent them to somebody. Not us, but he probably sent him.

[Bill Simmons]

I think so. I don't know that he could even think that far ahead.

[Gary]

He is Evander, if you're listening, that was Jimmy Kimmel's. I think you're a genius.

[Matt Fondelier]

How about the whole first off, Evander Holyfield. God damn. First off, fan man. Number one.

[Bill Simmons]

Fan man.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, it's insane. Number two, like Evander Holyfield.

[Bill Simmons]

I wonder if people even know what that means. The guy with a fan attached to his back flew into the ring.

[Matt Fondelier]

The guy from the fan attach to his back flew into Caesar's when they were outdoors.

[Bill Simmons]

Imagine what nowadays with the terrorists. They would have shot him.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, my God. Yeah, he literally just jumped off of a neighboring building with his fan and his parasail.

[Sonny Carolla]

Why did he do that?

[Matt Fondelier]

And he went down and he would have landed in the ring, except for his parasail was just a little bit higher than the canopy of the ring and it caught it. But Holyfield, in terms of just sort of badass on the planet. Sorry, Sonny. I mean, here's a guy's an inflated light heavyweight.

[Sonny Carolla]

I hear it every day.

[Matt Fondelier]

It was just like Mike Tyson, bring him on. Like, go get him. Tell him. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Is that like, is that a badass or is that somebody oblivious?

[Matt Fondelier]

I, I, it's, I wish I was that kind of oblivious because he was.

[Adam Carolla]

Just Like Rick Bow.

[Matt Fondelier]

Mike Tyson. Come on. Come on and get some.

[Gary]

Do you remember what he said at the time? This might have been like some kind of terrorist, flying terrorists or whatnot.

[Bill Simmons]

He was pressy in that way, but.

[Matt Fondelier]

He was just like. He was like, Mike Tyson. Yeah, come on down.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's come get some.

[Matt Fondelier]

Like, he wasn't. He went to the center of the ring and he just traded with Tyson.

[Bill Simmons]

He was probably a guy also, if he saw a butterfly, would eat. Eat it.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, come get some butterfly. Come get some hummingbird.

[Gary]

The Alamo Show. You listening to the Alabama Lola Show?

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, listen.

[Gary]

The Adam Mazola Show. Yeah, you listen to what? Listen to the Adam Pajola Show.

[Adam Carolla]

What I'm saying is, is the Adam for solo show. Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

You're not afraid of anything, right.

[Gary]

Will punch it, right.

[Matt Fondelier]

So if there's a hummingbird feeder in front of you, I would eat it. But if there's a dream catcher.

[Gary]

A dream catcher, I would let that live. Oh, you wouldn't punch that. But a fan.

[Matt Fondelier]

Fan, man, you punch, right?

[Gary]

Well, it might could be a flying tourist.

[Matt Fondelier]

Taurus or terrace Tur. Terrorist.

[Gary]

We.

[Matt Fondelier]

Or tourists.

[Gary]

Tourists. Like that movie Taurus.

[Matt Fondelier]

A terrorist.

[Gary]

Yes.

[Matt Fondelier]

Okay, so what?

[Gary]

Punch nothing. I will punch everything.

[Matt Fondelier]

So I loved about Holyfield. Holyfield was like, who? Mike Tyson.

[Adam Carolla]

Who?

[Matt Fondelier]

Bring him on. We'll punch.

[Gary]

You know, it's funny, Holyfield, I think, just in terms of styles, he. He has Tyson's number, and I didn't really think that, but he didn't have.

[Matt Fondelier]

A style other than. I'm not scared of any human being on the planet.

[Adam Carolla]

That works, right?

[Matt Fondelier]

So, like, if.

[Adam Carolla]

If any human being on the planet.

[Matt Fondelier]

Wants to trade in the middle of this canvas with the Budweiser written on.

[Adam Carolla]

It, we will trade.

[Matt Fondelier]

That was his entire thing. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

You need money. My wife is coming.

[Gary]

Mrs. Kimmel came to shut it down.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I don't know if I have enough cash, but I'll give you what I have and you can figure it out. We can't write a check.

[Adam Carolla]

No one takes checks.

[Bill Simmons]

Really?

[Matt Fondelier]

Really.

[Gary]

What's going on, by the way, Mrs. Kimmel, what a lovely soiree. Thank you so much.

[Matt Fondelier]

Yeah, that's wonderful, Molly.

[Gary]

It was.

[Matt Fondelier]

That's quite all right.

[Bill Simmons]

Let me ask you about this. We had the squares, right? Where you bet 200, you bet. You buy a square for $10. And then so I bought five squares for my daughter Katie, and she won.

[Gary]

How much did she win?

[Bill Simmons]

She won $400. I should get 50 of those dollars back, right? At least you could probably borrow money from Katie if you need it. Oh, and Molly won.

[Gary]

How much did you win?

[Bill Simmons]

She won the first quarter. You won 150.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Matt Fondelier]

One year, Jimmy bought squares for me.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, no.

[Adam Carolla]

1 $3,000.

[Gary]

Molly, did you know that Jimmy and Adam had sleepovers before you came into the picture?

[Matt Fondelier]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

Did you really?

[Bill Simmons]

It happened a few times, yeah. Contact lenses in his house.

[Gary]

In his house?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like you just go over there and.

[Bill Simmons]

Sometimes I'd sleep over his house? Yeah.

[Matt Fondelier]

Apartment.

[Adam Carolla]

Were you sober?

[Bill Simmons]

In this case, we were going fishing early the next morning.

[Gary]

But tell Molly when you saying the first time you tongue kissed Adam. What are you saying?

[Bill Simmons]

She knows it was beautiful.

[Adam Carolla]

I can never compete with Adam.

[Gary]

I know this. This is radio. But you can't see Molly's face. She's like.

[Bill Simmons]

Molly, take that money and get out of here. What?

[Matt Fondelier]

All right, so where were we? Vander.

[Gary]

Vander Holyfield.

[Bill Simmons]

Vander Holyfield. Are these. You actually thought of these subjects?

[Matt Fondelier]

No, no, no, no. Thought about that.

[Bill Simmons]

You have.

[Matt Fondelier]

No, no, I have is. I have commercials.

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on with iron planet?

[Matt Fondelier]

That's1ironplanet.com. Ah, you want to. They got a big auction going off in Orlando. Get your mic, sonny. That's on the 11th through the 13th of February. Three day sale, 1500 items and excavators, tractors, mo graders, work platforms as scissor lifts, bulldozers, everything under the planet. I like these guys because they like heavy duty equipment. Go to Iron planet dot com. View the guaranteed. And so what they do is they go around, they inspect all the heavy duty equipment. You pussies wouldn't know.

[Sonny Carolla]

It would sound like an Iron man movie. Like Iron man for the Iron Planet.

[Bill Simmons]

That's true. Because the word iron is in both of them.

[Gary]

Yeah, they pronounce it iron.

[Matt Fondelier]

Just a quick note, they've great auctions and they have all the heavy duty stuff you need. The big stuff, the small stuff. It's ironplanet.com ironplanet.com and just go there and find out when the auction's coming up. All right, so what are we talking about for?

[Gary]

We're talking about eggs. But hold on, Jimmy, you're talking about chickens?

[Bill Simmons]

Not yet.

[Matt Fondelier]

No, not yet, but coming. Right.

[Sonny Carolla]

But how are you going to get them?

[Gary]

Oh, you.

[Sonny Carolla]

You order them in, like, little boxes.

[Bill Simmons]

And the chickens, they come out of eggs. You got to be lucky. And then when you go to the supermarket, if you're lucky, one of the eggs has a chicken in it.

[Gary]

But, you know, they only last for a certain amount. Of time. They only lay for, like, nine months.

[Bill Simmons]

No, it's like two years.

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah, you were way off.

[Bill Simmons]

They lay for two years, and then I will supplement with additional younger chickens.

[Gary]

And what are you gonna do with the old chickens?

[Bill Simmons]

I'll keep them. I won't eat them.

[Matt Fondelier]

Dang. What's going on with your pork?

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Bill Simmons]

Whoa.

[Matt Fondelier]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a really personal question.

[Gary]

The guy is. Well right now.

[Sonny Carolla]

Pig.

[Gary]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Matt Fondelier]

I. I have part of a pig.

[Gary]

Yeah, I have a part of. I have a shoulder that. I'm going to make some capo nice, but I have to.

[Sonny Carolla]

I have no idea what that is.

[Bill Simmons]

I've been hearing you talk about this for years. Years and years and years, and yet I've never seen.

[Matt Fondelier]

Didn't he bring some over to your house?

[Gary]

Brought some. I had some. I don't have any right now, but I have some capo that's coming.

[Bill Simmons]

Where's it coming from?

[Gary]

Well, I gotta cure it. It takes time.

[Bill Simmons]

And you're doing this yourself for someone else?

[Gary]

Well, you didn't want to split up.

[Sonny Carolla]

I didn't?

[Matt Fondelier]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

That's not what.

[Gary]

You know what, Jimmy? This is a new day. Let's just move forward. I had a wonderful time today. The funny thing, didn't you and your.

[Matt Fondelier]

Brother bring some over to Cheese?

[Gary]

Mr. Mr. Big Time Farm Guy here doesn't remember, so. It's just really painful.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Yeah. Well, because we're friends. And, you know, Jimmy, you just really changed since the barn, so I want to just move forward. Have you ever tried to cure stuff yourself? I mean, are you just polio? Oh, snap. Shazam.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Matt Fondelier]

That's a good place to go out. Jimmy Kimmel, La. 9, 35. ABC.

[Bill Simmons]

9, 35.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, sorry. 11:35.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Matt Fondelier]

Well, you know, Central time or Mountain time? What's something time? There's got to be something. Mountain time. For six months out of the year, Jimmy Kimmel live.com is where you go check out.

[Bill Simmons]

Give Sonny a plug, will you? He's.

[Gary]

Sonny, where you gonna be next week, man?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, where? You have any sporting events coming up?

[Sonny Carolla]

Yeah, I have a game, a basketball game. I'm not sure if it's on Sunday or Saturday.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, but you have. People can go to your website and find out.

[Sonny Carolla]

I wish.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. I have to get a website.

[Matt Fondelier]

Sunny, how many points did you score last game?

[Sonny Carolla]

I didn't score any, but I'm still the best defensive player on my team.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Matt Fondelier]

It's a zero point.

[Gary]

Like his pops. He's tooting his own horn.

[Matt Fondelier]

David Allen Craven here. Website. 9:30. No David Allen Greer dot net. You can find out where he's going up dot net.

[Bill Simmons]

Who has dot com?

[Gary]

Somebody. Somebody.

[Bill Simmons]

Somebody took in.

[Matt Fondelier]

We're doing all his live shows all over the country.

[Bill Simmons]

How much they want to charge you for this? Shame on them. They can't have your name and then say, oh, it's ours.

[Matt Fondelier]

It doesn't seem right, does it?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, no.

[Gary]

Do it all the time.

[Bill Simmons]

No, we're going to put a stop to this.

[Gary]

I'm too.

[Matt Fondelier]

Well, the way to put a stop to it is go to David Allen Greer.net and complain. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Matt Fondelier]

So until next time. Z cora for Is it over yet? That's it. Bill Simmons was in here. David Ellinger, I think he was earlier. Jimmy.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, you. Oh, you were supposed to get a mat.

[Matt Fondelier]

Oh, Cousin Sam.

[Bill Simmons]

What about Matt Damon?

[Matt Fondelier]

What happened to Matt Damon?

[Bill Simmons]

He ran out of time.

[Matt Fondelier]

I ran outside. San Mahalo.

[Giovanni]

All right, that's adam Cole show 1502, hanging with the boys, Mr. Cool Sunday back in 2015. That does it for this weekend's Coral Classics. Make sure to tune next weekend for three all new installments. Until then, mahalo.

[Allison Rosen]

And get it on.

[Adam Carolla]

Isn't home where we all want to be?

[Allison Rosen]

Reba?

[Adam Carolla]

Here for realtor.com, the Pro's number one most trusted app. Finding a home is like dating. You're searching for the 1 with over 500,000 new listings every month. You can find the one today. Download the realtor.com app. Cause you're nearly home.

[Giovanni]

Make it real with realtor.

[Adam Carolla]

Com Pros, number one most trusted app based on August 2024 proprietary survey. Over 500,000 new listings every month based on average new for sale and rental listings February 2024 through January 2025.