Giovanni (0:15)

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast. We play the best moments, highlights and fans selected clips from all 15 years of the Adam Carolla show. This is the Sunday feed. You know how everything works. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsamcurilla.com now let's get to the clips. Coming for our first clip today, we have Adam Kurlo show 1024, featuring Elliott Gould, Allison Rosen, and Brian Bishop. This is a legendary live show that goes a little off the rails. Check it out. Well, you know women, you guys never bring up that part. You know, it's a lot of complaints about. Well, we get 70 cents to your dollar and we're held back and we. We got hormonal issues and, you know. But what about the part where we die almost a decade before you? Do anyone ever want to bring that up? That's a perk. That's a perk to having ovaries, is it not? The extra 10 years you get to spend on the fucking planet spending our money. Not bad, right? Yeah, pretty good perk. We get all the breaks. Yeah. I'm just saying it rarely comes up. You get a break on your insurance and you live an extra seven, eight years or something. It's not bad. I have a theory about that, which is that's a little insulting, but that's never stopped you before. Well, just a little. I'm up on stage burning calories, and my wife right now is at home, like, in suspended animation. I'll be in Denver over the weekend burning some calories. My wife's kind of hanging with the kids. Like you have a certain amount of life force and you're just whipping through yours faster. Yeah, yeah. Stress, you know what I mean? Too much travel, too many early mornings, too many early call times for the great Elliot Gould. This is excellent for the people that are just listening in their cars right now. Cause they don't even believe me. I could have just said we had Willie Nelson up here. And they'd be like, yeah, that's cool. All right. Yeah. So I think you burn yourself out. I think guys. I think they burn themselves out. I don't know. There's a biological thing, I think, guys. And then you end up doing things like smoking and drinking and stuff like that. Well, we just need to find some really lazy sedentary guys and find out how long they live. Oh, we got him. My dad. How's he doing? He's 81 and he's still going Strong. Yeah. No, I explained to my dad in his kind of terms as I could the other day, that he was like a, you know, a kind of a crappy car but with almost no mileage on it. You know what I mean? Like, if you took a Chevy Chevette and just put it up on blocks in your garage in 1973, it's still a piece of shit, but it's brand new. It's pristine. He still has that new human smell. Yeah, he's not a good model, you know, he's not a. He's not a Ferrari or a Corvette. He's a shitty model that's almost brand new because he's never been driven, like, in the. In the snow. How do you take that news? You know, I told him he was. I sort of told him he was just low mileage. Like, not a lot of days on the roof, working out in the sun. Not a lot of super stressful business meetings. Not a lot of burning the midnight oil, you know? He's kind of. He's like veal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what he's like? He's like slippers. You put them on, but you don't go jogging in them. You don't wear them outside. You don't run in them. They never see the rain. They're still shoes. You can get some mileage on them. Just not tough miles, you know? You're not. Not running on. You're not. No trail mileage on slippers. That's all carpeted miles, right? My dad's been on nothing but carpeting his whole life. Mm. Oh. What? We got pictures. Oh, there's my dad. There he is. Yeah. Plays his trumpet, walks around in slippers. Elliot, what do you think of this? How do you feel? How's your health? Talking to the mic? My health is fine, thank you. You good? Yeah. You good? The water was not open, so nothing spilled. Yes, I know. Would you like some water? No, thank you. Would you like some Mangria? I'll try it. You'll try Mangria? That's good. We gotta get him out of a shelf. By the way, do you think I'm in a shell? Yeah. You're wrong. Oh, really? I'm out of the shell. Oh, you're out. Oh, this is you out. It's me, yeah. Wow. I've seen you be so dynamic. I'm an actor. Oh, that's it. That's. But what. What now? That's a good point. Here, Mr. Gould. There. Ease your hand there and taste some of my signature, mangria. This, this is going to get you into a shell. No, no, there's no shells for this. Let's talk about this acting for a moment. You want to talk some more? Yeah. Even more than this? Yeah. Did you watch the Oscars? Yes. And I noticed that a lot of the actors didn't seem to want to go to rehearsal. I don't know about rehearsal. Oh, you mean when they were dancing? No, when? Not. Well, when they were dancing a little bit. But when they do the Oscars they go, hey, could you come out on Thursday and do like a rehearsal where you read the teleprompter and do that and all the ants, all the actors just go. The presenters. Yeah, I don't know that that's true. I've done the awards several times. Oh, let's talk about that. We just did. Okay, that's over. Let's talk about it again. When you, when you were asked to present at the Academy Awards, did they ask you to come for a run through? Of course. Okay. Did you show up? Yes, I did. That's you. That's what I'm saying. I would say most, if not everyone, shows up. Do you know something that I don't know? I don't think the guys from the X Men showed up. Avengers? Yeah. And I think the people, some of the people show up and they read that teleprompter and they stumble through it and clearly there was not a rehearsal process with them. And I think when you say to Jennifer Lopez, we need you here on Wednesday to rehearse, she goes, her publicist says, I can't be there until Sunday afternoon. I'm in New York. Sorry. It's either this way or no way. What do you think of that? You showed up in rehearse, you went from the four guys from the Avengers to Jennifer Lopez. I don't think it was fair to Jennifer Lopez. And as far as the four guys from the Avengers, who gives a shit? I don't. The mangree is working. I. The viewers do. I'm a viewer and I give a shit because I don't want to see them fumble and stumble through their presentations. Yes, you do. Oh, you're probably right. It's more fun. But the point is. Okay, so what was the schedule? Unless there's anyone else in this room that's presented at the Oscars. Just three. Okay, so. But I got Elliot on stage, so I'm going to talk to him. What is the schedule then for presenting at the Oscars? How did it work the last time you did It. Well, that was some time ago, but, you know, we have to come in before the day of the show. Right. Work with the director, work with the cameras, work with the stage managers so as we would have an idea of what was going on. And do you remember who you were out there with or what you presented last time you did it? Well, yeah, I was with Isabella, Johnny. And we presented the best editing to Verna Fields, who did Jaws. Oh, he did Jaws. She did Jaws. And when at that point, the NCAA championship game was on at the same time as the Academy Awards, and I heard the score, and it was Indiana 86 and Michigan 68. And so when they said the winner is, I announced the score and they haven't had me back since. So that was not in the rehearsal, obviously. I think that's fine now. Do you. Would you. How many Oscars have you attended in general? Perhaps four. Four? Perhaps four? Yes. Could be as many as five. And as little as four seems. Four is good. Four seems right. And biggest star who's not with us anymore that you met or hung out with sat me next to John Wayne. I don't know that name. And my last name is Wayne. Okay. How's it feel? Douche. How was the Duke? What was he like? Very nice. Really? And this was how long then after that, did he pass away? I don't know. I don't count. Stupid question. You wouldn't know. No one would have that just at their fingertips. I met him when I was three. Really? Yeah. Because he lived in Newport beach or had spent time. Howdy, little Jew. The story I heard was something like that, but it was little girl. Maybe it was cleaned up. Yeah. So I was in this men's store, at ease. And my parents were there too, but, like, I was over here and they were over here. And then he came up and was like, oh, you're a cute little girl in the John Wayne voice, you know, and was talking to me. And then my dad was like, oh, my God, you know, totally starstruck and came over and like, you know, I'm the father of that cute little girl. I think John Wayne cared not at all about my dad. He was one of the first guys that everyone figured out they could do an impression of. Yes. And thus everyone did John Wayne, Even people who couldn't do impressions. It was walkin before walkin. Yeah. And then there was. I'm gonna work out the order One of these Days of Jimmy Cagney was probably number one of the guys that people did impressions of. Or maybe they did of Caesar. But there's no recorded evidence of that. You know what I'm saying? Oh, no. When you said Caesar, I thought you were talking about Edward G. Robinson. Did he play Caesar? Little Caesar. Oh, yeah. In. Yeah. All right. Was he in Whitehead? Yeah. So Edward G. Robinson, Jimmy Cagney. Then there was, well, maybe WC Fields. I'm going to work this out. Might take a decade or so. Who's the number? Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart. Who's the number one female that you know then? Ron Reagan and guys like that. But who do you think? The number one female. Mae West. That's a good one. This guy's. Please tell me you know who Mae west is. Do you know who Mae west is? All right. Just no, I don't know Randy West. You know Randy west at all? Okay, so yeah, all right. Mae West. Yeah. Ellie Gould, Betty Davis. Bette Davis. Yeah. Who? Katherine Hepburn. All right, this is boring now. I brought it up and I'm bored with it. All right. Should we do one more question? Maybe get some news and things like that? And by the way, the movie, Tell us a little about this movie. I'm jumping around a lot. But don't you know anything about it? It's in theaters. I know. And Direct TV Cinema. March 22. That's all I have. My gut is that it's about a young woman uprooted from the San Fernando Valley into the whirlwind of downtown la. I bet that's just my gut. I think you'll love it. I have a feeling about Sarah. Sarah Rue is the girl. She plays my daughter and she's quite wonderful. She's a talented. Is she thin now? She just had a baby, so I don't know what she looks like. Uh huh. I feel like the chicks that have the baby and then snap back in the shape is no big deal anymore because everyone seems to be doing it. You know what I'm saying? How do they do it? I don't know, but they just do it and it's no big whoop anymore. And Sarah Rue was from a TV show that was called Dancing with the Stars. Dancing with the Stars. No. Come up next, we're going back two episodes for Adam Kroll show 1022, Grant Lee Phillips with what a Fool Believes. Check it out. Yeah, we back with Grantley Phillips, Buffalo Walking in the Green Corn. Name of the new album available on itunes. And you know what to do. You go to iTunes. You@adamcurl.com you click on the banner and put a little wind in the sail. Of our pirate ship. Good to see you, Grant Lee. Good to see you. Hey there. I like you already, man. You got a great vibe, man. Well, thank you. We. We met years ago, you know. Where the hell were we? It was. It was late one night on the Love Line. On the Love Line. Normally people walk out of that show. Well, no, no. I mean, I felt a little. A little ill equipped in some ways, you know, not being a professional at all in terms of working on a real crisis line. So that. That part, I felt a little bit. Maybe like a little bit above my head. You ever run into guys from Buffalo Springfield and then like, throw down? No, I would like to pull a knife out and go, come on, I'll cut you like a little buffalo war. Yeah, a little buffalo. No, we have not. Come on, old man. Bring your pick. Oh, man, I love Neil Young too much. I couldn't do it. I couldn't pull out a shiv on my hero. Who do you like? Who are some of the guys who you listen to growing up or who you like now? And don't do that bullshit move where you name nine bands that we have to pretend like we know. Right, right. I'm really into this. Kelly Clark was a big influence. Kelly Clarkston. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. I know. I started listening to music. Music. Yeah, we like that too. No, you know, I mean, yeah, obviously, like, Neil Young was a big one for me because being a songwriter and a guitar player. Beatles, of course. I'm a child of. I'm probably like a year older than yourself. So I grew up in that era of great, you know, Bowie, glam rock, it all was side by side, you know. Hunky Dory's a great album. I love that record. I love it, too. That's a big one, actually. Yeah, Hunky Dory's great because it's weird and it's different and it's like very unbowie. And in a sense that if you only know Bowie from the radio, right. Then Hunky Dory will surprise you. That's true. Because it's like you kind of feel like you're hearing his demos in place, you know, like, this one's called Andy Warhol. That one does sound like an O. It's actually. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that. Yeah, that part makes you feel like you're high. Yeah. I love that record. Like, it's all. It's all wrong. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. I. I'm surprised to hear that you. You were into that record, though. Well, it's weird because I don't like David Bowie's stuff that they play on the radio that much. But, like, that weird older stuff is really cool. And. And he. I don't talk about. I'm always talking about John Hyatt and Graham Parker and Jayhawks and guys like that. But David Bowie did some really cool stuff. Of course. I saw your John Hyatt poster outside right next to Evel Knievel, who was my other big influence. Well, so let's talk about you. You grow up where. I grew up in Stockton, California, which is straight north of here, about six hours. And always into music. Yeah, pretty much. So. I mean, I was a child magician when I was 10, and then I found my way into music when I turned about 14. Something like that, started writing songs. Magician usually means a lot of. A lot of downtime at home, right? Yeah, there was a lot of abuse in the. I grew up. I had doves. I had two doves. Oh, really? And I would perform. You know, I would go. My mother would take me to perform at, like, a men's club or, you know, Pixie woods was our amusement park. How did you get these doves specifically for your magic act? I did. Yeah. Yeah. My great grandmother, they raised birds. And so that was an easy one. You know, I'll get some doves, put them in a pan full of fire and pluck them out of there. It's a good thing they didn't raise badgers. I would have been a disaster, man. Traveling stocking with badgers. I'm in the Valley, though. I mean, I know you grew up in the Valley. I've been here since 83 in the valley. I always think of magicians as wildly, like, antisocial, because that's probably true. Because here's her thing. For the most part, they don't talk and they make things disappear. Yeah. And basically, they're like, it's not a social move. Like, I remember lying to you. I was in Vegas once, and I just saw a guy, and he was just like. He never didn't say a word. He's like. And then you just go like that. And whatever he hit would just sort of chick would disappear, and then lion would disappear. And I thought, this is kind of symbolically antisocial. He's not talking. He's taking away everything that I love. Yeah. His name Teller, and he's a legend now. But there was like, you know, I mean, Houdini, that was a big one growing up, you know. How much did Houdini talk? You know, I Don't know, I. I think that maybe there's some recordings of him talking, but. Really? Yeah, I think there are a squeaky sort of wax cylinder. Are there any chatty magicians? Because that could be a drag pen. Well. Oh, yeah, okay. So, yeah, sorry, there's like David Copperfield, right? He talks in the. Oh, David Blaine, right. He's like a. He seems like hitting you up for Jonathan. He doesn't talk that much. The Amazing Jonathan is a very verbose. Is he? Yeah, I was. Ricky J. There's one. No, I know, I know. What, he cuts his fingers off and stuff like that. I remember, by the way, you ever have that sort of thing where you go. You're passing a nightclub? I was in Vegas and said, amazing Jonathan. I was like. And I was just in a car with Charles, who does a little work over there, and I was like, amazing Jonathan. He's like, fuck that guy. Like, what? Fuck him. He sucks. And I'm like, he does. No, he's fucking horrible, man. I think I was in that car. Yeah. I was like, first off, how do you have such strong feelings about someone? I don't even know. I never really think. I mean, he wears a bandana and he cuts his fingers off on Letterman and blood. Oh, he's so fucking bad. Fucking hate that fucking guy. I'm like, really? Oh, so this fucking shot. People are just leaving. He's fucking brutal, man. I was like, wow, he's so animated. About that bad. I've never met anyone that animated. Work to make sure that the. Like, he hates him. He hates him. You've never heard someone the stronger opinion on the Amazing Job. I've never seen him, never heard him. He's. He's awful. He's awful. You see, to one guy. Yeah. You wish you'd cut your head off. Oh, yeah. So I never. It was weird. I kind of wish we'd never brought it up, to tell you the truth, because it was all the way to the airport. Okay, buddy. Okay. That guy. Yeah. Thank God you were in the car, I think. Yeah, that's right. All right, so you move to the Valley, you give up the magic wand, you pick up the guitar and you start playing music. That's right. That all happened in maybe 14, 15, something like that. But then maybe 19, 20, that's when I moved to LA and with a. I had a Plymouth satellite full of magic tricks and a Charlie McCarthy and a banjo and an amplifier. And it all came with me and my dreams. And by the way, love, I like Cinnamon Girl. Cinnamon Girl, that's a. That's a Neil Young song, right? Yeah, yeah. Can you play that riff? Do I know it? You should have him on. I think it's just gonna happen. Yeah, right? Something like that. Yeah, that's it. I love cinnamon. It's good for your blood. That's what they say. Cinnamon, cardamom, all those things. Yeah, you gotta eat that cinnamon, girl. So granted, you want to play song for us. I'd love to. What song would you like to play? Well, you know what? I was thinking about playing a song called Walking on the Green Corn. It's the title track of this self released album of mine. Not Grantly Buffalo, by the way, but of myself. Grantly Phillips. Exactly. And Grantly Buffalo's got a live record that's coming out in the spring. We do, yeah. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Live at the Royal Festival Hall, a show from London. Ooh, How's Grant Lee Buffalo received overseas? Traditionally, it's been really strong overseas. More so overseas than here, I would say. Why? I mean, I know anything that's good is more appreciated somewhere else. I don't know. I don't know how you can even in your own house. Yeah, I see. The further you get away from your house, the more people appreciate it. Like everyone who lives with you is like, knock it off with a guitar, would you there, Grant? Give me a headache. I'm watching Wheel of Fortune here. Could you knock it off? Right, but then if you get a little further from your house. But listen, it's the same way with standup. I go to the fucking El Portal Theater in North Hollywood where I grew up. I gotta blow a guy to get 375 people in there. But I go to Boston. Oh, there's 1400 people. And you go to Washington D.C. there's 1500 people. You go to Seattle, there's 2000 people. I grew up in North Hollywood. I can't get 400 people in a fucking theater. So you have to go far. And I'm guessing the people who live in Seattle have to come out to North Hollywood to draw a crowd. There's some sort of exchange program or something that goes on, I think since Jerry Lewis, right, Since he was big in France, it's been like that. Life would be a lot easier for David Hasselhoff, you and me, if we could just not go to an airport, you know, to get a payday. Yeah, I know. All right, so London. London. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 2011. We hadn't played together for like 15 years, you know. Yeah. We had been on your show that night and maybe a year or two later, was it we were kind of extinct for 15 years and then just decided, let's see what this feels like as old men. Let's check it out. And we did a couple years ago, and it was really fun, and we recorded it and we've done a few shows since then. And are all the guys just spread out around Los Angeles? Yeah, we're sort of spread out. Yeah. Yeah. Some of us are in la, some of us are up in the northern parts. So this is from Walking in the Green Corn. And that's a Phillips, not a buffalo. That's right. All right. Should I make my way towards that microphone? Yeah, go ahead. We'll do it. Imagine this to that Grant Lee Phillips, everybody. Norway. Black tornado Blow away Troubled sky Blow away disappointment all the worry Days gone by Ready for the crops to ripen Leaving all the rest behind welcome that sun Looking forward to better time Walking in green corn Walking in the field so high Walking in the green corn of life Blow away the dust forever Tear up those seeds of death Blow away and roll on out like some dark cloud Been a long time we're coming Been a long time for sure welcome out harvest Got a world worth waiting for Walking in green corn Walking in the fields soul high Walking in the green corner Life blow away Black tornado blow away Twisted horn Scatter on home Swear you won't come round no more Ready for the crops to ripen Leaving all the worst behind welcome that rain Looking forward to better times Walking in green Come walking in the field so high Walking in the green corn of life Walking in the green corner Walking in the field so high Walking in the green cone of life Grant Lee Phillips. Walking in the green corn and special shout out to Dawson, who does a fantastic job engineering this stuff and dialing it in. I mean, it just. I mean, obviously I get some credit for building the studio and the acoustics in here and all the sweat equity that went into this. And obviously it's laid out in such a way where, you know, a great performer like Grant Lee Phillips can be fully realized. But, Dawson, and don't forget, you paid for everything. Oh, and I paid for everything, Right. But still, what was Dawson doing? Twiddling knobs? Okay, yeah, he did something with a potentiometer. And for that, he deserves a smattering of applause points for you, ace man. Potentiometer. Who went to Pinnacle College. Well, I'll tell you, it was one of my first questions when I got in the radio, because I think I Said to Jimmy, whenever they would say, pot that up. Pot that guy up. Pot that person down. I was like, pot. That was pot. Why does it say pot was it? And they said, potentiometer, dude. Yeah, yeah. So pot him down. Or pot his. Pot his cans up. So he's. Pot him up. So that was a big deal. Well, you could be an engineer now. Yeah. Look out. Whoever the famous engineer person is. So I'm coming for you. It's never a good sign when you can't think of the name of the person. Dawson, who's the famous engineer? You could say Barry Rudolph. Look out, Larry. What's his name? I'm coming for you. Yeah. No, it means it probably doesn't pay as well as it could. Right. You know what I mean? Like, everyone's like, hey, man, I got moves like Michael Jordan or I'm better than Dustin Timberlake or Justin Timberlake or whatever it is. Like, that's. That means. Yeah, Dustin. That means there's money. Yeah. Larry, Dustin Timberlake is the lesser known of the Timberlake, but they better actually. Ace. I can't believe both of us forgot this. But the number one engineer you should be talking to. Count of three. One, two, three. Alan Parsons. All right. Yeah. Not that I knew that he was an engineer, but I knew that it had been 81 minutes since Dawson had said the words Allen and Parson. The names together. What happens if the thing flips over and it's 82? You see how lost. Well, like they say, they have those things at factories. Like days since accidents. And then we have days since Dawson hours since Dawson has not either summoned Alan, Parson, Parsons or talked about something avocado related. It's true. Absolutely true. Summoned up Alan Parsons. No. Nice job. Because honestly. And you get some credit for playing the song. Well, thank you. Thank you. But it just really sounded so crisp and so beautiful. Thank you. It's the Mangria. Not always easy to pull off. Since we're busting Dawson's chops, it's a perfect time to mention that Lisa Loeb will be coming in next week. Oh, all right, let's tell the story now. So Grant Lee knows all about it. Yeah, you're gonna need to. One time, Dawson, when I was doing a morning show, when I was doing a morning show in 2008 or something like that, he showed up in Shantz that didn't have gravy on them. And I said, whoa, what's the occasion? Dress Chance. Yeah, yeah. Like my cans off. Yeah. He was wearing. He was wearing flip Flops that were, like, only 4 to 6 years old. And I said, what is the occasion, Dawson? And he said, lisa Loeb's coming in today? And I said, yeah. And he said, she does that single show, you know, number one hit single or whatever it is. She did that, like, VH1 single. Like Lisa Loeb's single Looking For. Looking for a Date show. Remember that? 40 and single. No, it was called number one single. Number one single. Right. And she's cute as a button, and she sounds great and writes fun songs and everything like that. And I said, so what of it, Dawson? And he said, we're going out. And I said, you're going out? Yeah. And I said, how's that going to work? And he said, I'm going to ask her out. I said, well, that don't mean you're going out. You can apply for a job at the Pentagon, but it doesn't mean you're going to be working there. And he said, well, she's single. And I said, yeah, I know. Well, at least in the TV show, she's single, but that don't mean she's going out with you. You have access to every. By the way, I'd get divorced tomorrow if I thought those were the rules. Lynette, no offense, but you know what I'm saying. The rules aren't because you're single. You must date me. The rules are you have to sign off on this request. So some sort of positive affirmation? Yeah. I said to Dawson, this is not a done deal by any stretch of the imagination. That information confused Dawson more than anything. And I said, all right, well, go ahead and ask her. I'm not telling you not to ask her out. I'm just saying don't start, you know, planning the date out just yet until you get confirmation from her. And he said, yeah, a little confused by the exchange. Long story short, they're married. Long story short, she came in an hour later, sang a song, split. And I said, did you ask around? He went, yeah. And I said, what happened? Nah, that's good. And I thought, let this be a lesson to you and everyone else who. She must have terrible taste in men. No. To never try ever. And I hope there's young people listening. Now, here's the good news and the bad news. Dawson, she's not going to remember this exchange. I know, and I'm happy about that. Can you do a bad news till he tells her? Till I tell her? No. The bad news is she's not going to remember the exchange. Meaning There's a song by the Doobie Brothers called what A Fool Believes. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Let's get really on the mic. Exactly what it sounded like. That's right. That's right. If you get the lyrics to that song. That's exactly. That's exactly it. That's exactly. The white man has the power. The white man has the power. It's a white supremacist song. You wouldn't know it. Cause he mumbles. It's an interesting song. And if you break it down, it's basically just about it. It's about a guy who thinks he had a relationship with a chick, but she doesn't remember who he is. Ah, right. If you really just break it down, is it because he didn't enunciate? Their lyrics are right over there. Yeah. Kenny Laughman's co writer. Yeah, he. Really? Yeah. Join me. No. Trying. Trying hard to recreate yet to be created Once in her life she must have look, smile. Never live only to realize it never really was. Now see, now this is where it gets cruel. She had a place in his life. No, no, go up. Oh, really? From there. No, she. She. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there it is. Oh, that's right. Had a place in his heart. Right. Now here's where it gets sad. He never met her. That was. That's the sad story. Rises to her apology. Everybody helped her belong. That was everyone else who worked at klsx who's watching her go sad. What a fool. Where's the white supremacist? Oh, it's the wise man. It's not the white man. I'm sorry. The wise man has the power. Same difference. Yeah, that's right. All right. Yeah, you get the. It's a hit. It's kind of an interesting song. That was magical and a little sad as well. I had no idea. Yeah. Yeah. You really gotta. We gotta get. I think we can get Michael McDonald on the show. We. You can get Mike McDonald on the show, I think, with a couple of phone calls. All right, we gotta get Dagger seeing like there's someone who knows him. Yeah, well, yeah, that would be the first phone call. That would be the very first one. That would have to be made. It can't be random phone calls. That's really possible. The guy. When I. When I went on tour with Alan Parsons in South America, the guy who was our stage manager, I mean, the guy was the production manager, is Michael McDonald's front of house guy. And that has to do with avocados. Why? Because Guacamole is good. Yes. All right, so we will. Can we hear that? Do you have that song, Brian? Somewhere. It's a little underrated. It gets lost. People think I'm a little too much about China Grove. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what? It's got a little. It's got the bongo in it from the. If you like Pina Colada. It's got a little, like, Rupert Holmes in it. I think the Prom. Did anyone ever know what this song was about? White Power. Yeah. It's like your mind just kind of writes stuff off. Or you kind of like this little. Little popcorn ditty. But it's got some truth to it. It's kind of interesting. And it's got some depth to it. Now, you gotta join in here, Grant. There we go. Crank it up. You gotta use the micro. There you go. All right. All right. Good song. Yeah. Also, if you ever listen to some Steely Dan stuff, Michael does some pretty stellar work in the background. That'll be it. When we get in, we'll talk. Nothing but Steely Dan. Oh, ride like the Wind too. He appears. He makes a cameo. Kind of a Hitchcockian kind of cameo. He makes a song, any song that has a bongo or Congo in it. Right. That song, he's immediately attracted to. Do you have a little. Someone could play a bongo somewhere. And he shoots up in his bed. What song? Ride like the Wind. Sorry. Now I'll find that one somewhere. Gotta have it somewhere. You listen to the Congo Bongo. Whatever. Congo. Unchained, we call it. We'll find it. You can really find. I do not. We don't have that. What the hell is going on in this country? Bald Brian Grantley Phillips, by the way, the music. Walking in the Green Corn. Available again on Amazon as we speak. We'll see. Just to hear that beginning. Just to hear that beginning drum thing. Just that hand slapping the skins. But if we don't have it, Mike, you know he's gonna find it. Mike will have it somewhere. Mike has an iPod with 80,000 songs on it or something. Let's see. And yeah, Michael McDonald does some pretty stellar backup on that Steely Dan Red Light. No, not Steely Dan. Christopher Cross. Right. Oh, sorry. I screwed you up with that. Hear the punk like said, anything with a Grant Lee, knock yourself out. I gotta say, make fun of the song all you like. If it comes on the radio, I ain't changing it. And I may sit in my car. Back when guys used to write songs about being on the run, on the Road. Gotta hurry, Gotta get to the next town. Crisscross. Make love to my next lady. Oh, here, Michael, by the way, you don't have to say border. Mexico. We know where you're going. You're not going to Canada, for Christ's sake. Christopher Cross was an outlaw. You should see him ridden over his face. Yeah. Here comes Michael. All right, all right. He's got that bongo that he likes. That must have been his decision making process. Like, is that a cool kind of conga beat? I'm in. Yeah. All right. Grant Lee Phillips, everybody. Keep it up as we go out. What the hell? Thank you so much for coming in. Always a good time. And of course, Allison Rosen and bald Brian and Dawson for being a good sport. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla saying, mahalo. I like it when my boyfriend defecates on me. That was Adam Carolla show 1022 coming to us from 2013. Coming up next, we have Adam Kurl show 637 featuring Jordan Rubin, Allison Rosen, Brian Bishop from 2011. Check it out. Warrant frontman Janie Lane. Open change. Everybody in a comfort in hotel room in Woodland Hills Thursday night. He was 47. Initial. Initial autopsy results were inconclusive and toxicology reports are underway. Lane had battled addiction for years. Vodka and prescription pills were found at the death scene. Rich Banks sent over a tribute. Hey, everybody, this is. You may wonder why I'm wearing my black Warren shirt. Welcome to Bob's Classy Lady. We got a two for one Tequis tonight. Jade Stage four. Stage four. Jade. Oh, just give me a minute here. Amateur night. It's Monday nights. Come on up, ladies. Put your grinning and drop your linen. Hold on, excuse me. Give me a second here. Santana Stage four. Well, that's. Jade. I'm sorry, I'm just not myself. I'm sorry. Sorry. Here. Santana Stage three. Jade Stage four. Just do it, girl. Now put your hands together. Show me. Appreciate them. Fellas. I gotta believe if what's his name, James J. Lame is here right now, he'd want you all to stand up, make it rain about now. Tell you what, that's a tip of the cap to JD next 20 minutes, half off. All champagne, mini bottles only. It's what he would have. And again, our prices are so cheap here at Bob's Classy Lady. We don't have a champagne room. We have a champagne room. We've been sued by the region of France, so it's actually sparkling wine room. That's all our lawyers are, let us say. All right, everyone. Light A candle. I stuck it a paper plate. Here we go. Businessman's lunch. Got a businessman's buffet. Give me a minute. I'll be putting that song on my ipod. For when you're feeling too happy. That's right. Oh, boy. Nice job, Rich Banks. It's sad. All right, there's Adam Carolla Show 637. Coming up next, we have Adam Corolla Show 1042 featuring Dave Damaszek, Jay Moore, Sunny Carolla, Lynette Carolla, Allison Rosen, Brian Bishop. This was from March of 2013. Yep. This is the episode with Sonny and the Envelope. Tell me what you guys would do. I'm. I come over here on Friday. I have some cash on me and I'm sitting on this front table and I'm sorting it out. I'm sort of getting little piles of $20 bills and five dollar bills. Like Scrooge McDuck? Yeah, like Scrooge McDuck. Just like that. And I'm laying it all out on the table and I have an envelope, one of those banker's envelopes, kind of about the size of a bill, just a little bit bigger, slides in. There's probably between 400 and 800 single $100 bills in this slip. And I'm sitting there and I'm counting that stuff and I'm putting it aside and I'm going to give some money to somebody and I'm working it out and I get up and I sort of go out and I come back. I don't go away. I just go to the back of the shop. I'm walking back and forth in front of the shop. I've done this many times where there's been cash just sitting out on the table. All of a sudden I go and I sit down and I come back into my entryway and there's a crazy human being that is sitting where I'm sitting at my table. And I've since gathered up the money, some of the money, and put it in my pocket. But there's this crazy guy and he's got books. And when I say crazy, I mean he's got schizophrenia, something. He's Drew's next guest. And I can just tell by his hair and what's going on with him that he's not quite right. He's wearing a shirt that says bipolar on it. That's color tell. Yeah. So he's wearing a bipolar shirt and he looks a little nutty. So he then comes in and does the show. And here he's doing the show and he's in the middle of doing the show with Drew. And I'm packing my stuff off and pay Gary, And I'm getting my stuff together. Full tart, Gary, half tartar. And I'm doing my thing, and I look around, I go, where's that envelope? And I'm very good with putting things sort of out in front of me. I put my sunglasses, my keys, my cell phone. Like I'm not the guy who carries the envelope. Goes to the back, climbs up the ladder to get my race gear down, sets it down, up top, and then comes back down and goes, where the hell is that thing? I keep stuff sort of in front of me, and I'm not a big dropper of things, so I'm like, where's my envelope with the 300, 400, $800 worth of single $100 bills in it? And I'm looking around, and I'm asking Matt, and I'm asking Jeff Fox in the editing bay, and I'm asking everybody. No one's seen it. No one. I'm checking my pockets. Not in my pockets. I go check the car. It's not in the car. I didn't go anywhere. I went to the other warehouse and came back, and it's not around. And I'm looking in the back. I'm looking everywhere. And I realized there was a guy who. Bipolar, a little bit nutty, and he was sitting where I was sitting with the money the whole time. So they're doing a show now. I don't know. I don't want to leave. I'm assuming. I'm trying to be polite, that he gathered up his books and his papers and what he had laid out, maybe just gathered up my little envelope with it. So I come into the studio while they're in the middle of the show. And not only in the middle of the show, they're in the middle of a call. And not only in the middle of a call. Some woman is. Seems to have some problem with depression and addiction or something. And I do the, like, I gotta put a hand up thing. And they're, like, both looking at me like we're talking to somebody on the air. And I kind of do it off. And. Drew, give it a second. Hold on. Let's pause. And he takes the headphones off. And I said, look, I'm not saying you stole my money, but there was some money that was out on that table, and I can't find it. And you were sitting there, and maybe when you gathered your stuff up, it just got kind of caught up in your book or something, the stuff you had. And he said, here's my book, here's my thing. I got nothing. I got. It's not here, look, this is all I have. And I said, okay, I don't have it out there anymore. And I didn't really go anywhere. And I just thought maybe by mistake, somehow it got up in your stuff or something. Did you ask the other half of you? Did you ask him that? The. Oh, the other part of the body. Right. So I said. So he said, no, I didn't. I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything. Was he acting normal? Yeah, well, he never acts normal, but he was like, I don't have. I don't have anything. Eyes darting back and forth, you know, Normal, Yeah. He said, I don't. I don't have anything. I'm sorry, I don't have anything. And I said, well, maybe it's in your books or something. He sort of spread it out and said, nah, this is it. That's all I got. You can check my jacket or something. And I said, nah, I don't know, maybe it fell out my car or something. And then the show ended and Dr. Drew did. One of my favorite, favorite things which makes me want to fucking punch him is I was sitting on the sofa sitting. You remember? I said, drew has no emotional IQ whatsoever. Thick was the word you used. Thick. I'm sitting on the sofa in the same place now, checking the seat cushions, looking around. It's a. It's maybe $800 of cash that's gone now. And not only is it gone, I didn't lose it at a casino. It didn't fall out of my pocket. I didn't get chased down the street. I'm in my place where I own this building and now it's gone. I want to know where this fucking cash is. So Drew comes walking in and he does this. I guess it was right after this, or right before, but he comes in with a strapping, good looking guy and he says, Points at him while I'm sitting on the sofa. And he goes, you remember this guy, Sean Green, ex LA Dodger. And I said, we're laughing because you don't remember. Your thing is not remembering. Yeah, something. And he's standing there above me with, smiling. And I said. And he said, you remember this guy says it again real loud. And I go. And then I start yelling at Drew, no, I'm sorry, whoever you are. Sorry. No, I don't remember him. Why are you being a Dick. Why are you fucking coming? Sorry. You person. Hold on. This isn't for you. This is for you. Drew, what the fuck are you doing? No, I don't remember him now. This is uncomfortable. Are you happy? Are you happy? Because I don't remember. I don't know who this individual is. I have no context. I saw him last when we did this celebrity softball game in 2001. And he was a Dodger, first off. He was in a bald cap and a white uniform. I've never seen him out of a Dodger uniform. He played for the Dodgers from, like, you know, 98 to 03 or something. I don't know what he looks like in street clothes as a guy wearing. That's the entire premise of why Clark Kent can live among us. Because he puts on a pair of glasses, he's not in the red and the blue uniform. Same thing in Drew's mind. Is that why you should know him because he once played celebrity softball with him for an afternoon? I don't. He shows you so fucked up. I have no fucking idea. What years did he play? He remembered me coming out. All. All was immediately rectified and Drew and your name was dropped as well, Shaq. Because he came in and he said 2000 to 2004. So I met him in 2001. It's been a scant 12 years. And he was wearing a uniform, and now he's just standing in front of me. I have no fucking idea who this tan, good looking, athletically built guy is anyway. You remember this guy? Like we hung. Like we went deep sea fishing last weekend or something. He's such a fucking asshole. At the very least, the assumption I would have would be that he was a guest or something. On loveliness. I just was looking at him going. I mean, you can see a picture of the guy. When you see him, it's just like he looks sort of familiar, but he's good looking. He looks like he could be an actor. He's an actor or something. He's an athlete. Would anyone know? I mean, I met him 12 years ago. Could pass as Jim Caviezel, star play Jesus. Yeah, all was set straight. Immediately, though, he goes, I remember you from you and Kimmel coming out to Vero beach trying out the Dodgers. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that. And he goes, tommy thought you could have been, could have made it to the show. Bring this up again. I know. And I said, shaq goes nuts every time I say that. I said, listen, I know I have a sports guy at the time Sheck would go insane every time he heard this. Because God forbid a compliment be tossed my way. I'm happy for you to be complimented. But the delusion being indulged by this daft old man that you would actually. That you actually ran with and thought, like, yeah, maybe I should be playing big league ball is a little bit loco. No, he said, if I got hold of you when you were 18 and threw 100 curve balls a day, I could have got you to the show. That's all. He's Tomlin disorder. Maybe he knows something about baseball. I don't know. Just ask Tommy. So he immediately brought that up, so all was right with the world. So then he did the guest, and then the bipolar guy did the guest, and then everyone left. And then I said, drew, I think your bipolar guy may have taken some money from me and Drew. Because the world's dumbest doctor said, well, I don't know, maybe Sean Green grabbed it somehow. And I said, no, no. Well, first off, I don't know why you're throwing Sean Green under the bus. He's. Because he's an anti Semite. Oh, that's right. I was sitting. I was sitting the whole time talking to Sean Green. Sean was towering over me while trying to fucking figure out who he was and yelling at Drew in front of Sean Green, which I don't care about. He deserves to be humiliated. Not that he can. It's possible for him to be humiliated, but he's a multi millionaire. He took your 400 bucks. Yeah, he is. No, he's literally. How do you think he has so much money? Oh, good point. He's driving the Tesla S. Anyone who's driving Tesla s has put 80 grand down, got on a waiting list two years ago, and received. They're doing just fine for themselves, and he's the nicest guy in the world. And I stood up and walked him out. He never sat down. He never spread his stuff out. So I do that thing with Drew where I go, no, not Sean Green. His thing is, not Sean Green stole anything. But maybe Sean Green set his stuff out and gathered it up by mistake. I said, no. Sean stood the whole time I sat. And then I walked him out and said bye to him. And he said, did that thing where he paused, he goes, maybe he got with some of his stuff. You know when they go back to their retarded theory, like, I gotta do one more lap around Retard park before my legs are tired. I got a little more juice left in my quads to Go one more lap around Retard Park. And I said, no, Drew, I was sitting here the whole time. So since then. Is that an off leash park? Yes, yes. So since then I said, it's been driving me nuts because I don't really think. I don't think of people as thieves. I really don't. On the other hand, the guy was sitting where I was sitting. There was an envelope with several hundred dollars sitting in it. And he had a T shirt on that said bipolar. I think that maybe suggests he's unstable. Later on, when I was telling, you know, Matt, I had do the look through the trash can, see if I got thrown away. Look, look outside, see if somehow. Somehow got swept up and thrown out or something. Or maybe I took the bills out and threw away. The carcass of the envelope would be laying around if I just. Maybe I used all the bills and I somehow spaced out on it, but there would still be the envelope laying around. Couldn't find the envelope anywhere. So later on I spoke to Gary or tonight when I was walking in, and Gary said that this gentleman had been convicted for what? High end art forgery. Definitely Sean Green. Let's not take Sean Green out of the equation. Gesture. He's a person of interest. Yeah. He's still up on the cork board with a pin through him with a question mark. All right, so he's no stranger to thievery, at least on a higher end. Sean Green stole many home runs from. Yeah, from opposing pitchers. So what, what are we. What are we working out of it? So what do we now? What am I to conclude? There's really nothing to do except for yell more. Drew. Drew just did. Did he address whether he thought it was possible this guy could have done it or was he just focused on Sean Green? Drew immediately went into sort of. Well, he didn't. He didn't, you know, kind of protection. Well, what he would do. He didn't. He wanted to avoid whatever was going on. I say, Drew owes me $500. He brought a. He brought a fox into my hen house and I'm light some eggs. It's more. See, for me, it's never. It's really the few hundred bucks. Maybe it was 700, 800 bucks. I don't like having that removed from me. I don't like the part where I think I'm nuts. Like, what happened? What did I do, throw it away? Sitting here. The money still has not been found. No, absolutely not. The envelope. The envelope and the money are gone. They remain gone. And that was Days ago. Now. Could be any one of us. They went in. Although it couldn't really, because we weren't here Friday. Through my mind. Oh, there were. Yeah. But some of the lower level guys were here. Post script. I've never. I've never trusted. They went into a spectacular feast at the seder table at John Green's home. So you'll be pleased to know that brisket as far as the eye could see. And, you know, bitter herbs and unleavened bread. Oh, yeah. Roasted. Roasted. All right. Manna from heaven, everybody. Now gone. You want to help me make a little that money back? Audible.com, baby. You support our fine sponsors like Audible.com, they support the show. I can make some of that envelope back. They have over 100,000 books to choose from, including not Taco bell material. And 50 years will all be chicks. Hey, those are my books. And they're offering you a free book. You can try them out for free. What do you do? You go to audible.comace. that's audible.comace. you get all the details and, yeah, give me some of that money back. That's audible.com Ace Half Targary. Is there any other explanation for where this money went? It's not just the money. It was an envelope. The envelope is gone. There's no empty envelope. There's no envelope in the trash can. The only other person in the building was Sunny. I don't see Santino taking 800 bucks. No, Sonny wasn't here. Sonny wasn't here that day. But he does. Yeah, he was. He's light with the fingers of my time. Oh, Was he here? 100%. And he noticed the money and made a comment about it. But the other guy. Seriously? I didn't really want to bring this up until we were on air, but. Whoa, the plot thickens. This makes Natalia stealing nothing. That little raccoon was running around here. It's just a waste of my time. Untethered. Oh, he made a comment about the money on the table being locked. I know. Get him on the phone. Yeah, I was just thinking that. I checked that backpack. This is awesome. He did steal the 40. He stole the 40. Oh, so he has a history of crime as well. And did a little counterfeit art stuff in the 80s. Yeah, not a lot. Mostly monetary. Yeah. Yeah, right. All right, let's see if we can get Sonny on the. What happens then? What happens if he is. What if he is the culprit? Then I owe two people an apology. I'm one person who's two People in apology number one. Not Sean Green and the bipolar guy, but just both. The bipolar guy. Yeah. Call Lynette. I got to talk to you. It is a great scheme, though. For the record, I might get myself one of them bipolar T shirts just to walk around and it's always an excuse. Dr. Drew, professionals are never going to charge you with a wasn't. We saw that played out in the Ed Norton picture, right? With Richard Gere. Yeah. Is that. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Better yet, to be a light fingered six year old and bring in the stooge with the. With the bipolar shirt to sit down where Daddy was counting the do re mi. Is this any slides into the studio? And you. This is interesting. We're gonna have to work this out. So what do you have in your brain? Is it too soon to start conjuring what the repercussions will be for young Sonny? I'm such a horrible punisher. Plus, if you leave a whole stack of money on the table in front of people who. He's done the toy, you know, he's done the Transformer robot versus the green paper stuff. That Daddy brings home math very, very quickly. So there's. But if he can cut out the middleman, he figures. Yeah, namely you. Yeah. And the Transformers will run free. Oh, boy. I feel like someone would have found it in the wash by now or something. All right, well, we'll see if we can. What were the circumstances of him stealing the 40? That was a 40 ouncer. I'm sorry. That wasn't money. Well, I mean, it cost Daddy $7. Yeah, and I shouldn't have left it on the roof of the car, but lesson learned. It just. You know, what happens is daddy comes home, empties Daddy's pockets out onto the stand, nightstand, whatever, and there's some change and some bills and some keys and some stuff like that. And every once in a while it just shows. We found 40 in his backpack. Oh, yeah. So he didn't. He should have laundered it with some Ninjago toys, which is normally his plan. Now we're going to try to find this out. All right. Can we get him on the phone? Gary? No. No answer. Dang. Do what? I just cut the wires, make his getaway. Do what I do when I'm on the road, which is call 10,000 times in a row. That's what I'm doing. And then have that conversation where you go, look, I call in between shows at about 8 o'clock your time to say bye to kids and I always like this answer. The phone was in the room with us, like. All right, well then now we need a CAT scan because I called 21 times between 8 and 814 your time when I was doing my shows from the east coast and nobody, nobody picked up the phone. He's in a white Bronco making for the Mexican border. Natalia's driving the car, he's sitting in the backseat. He's got a disguise. That does not mean he's guilty. But you know who this is. Yeah, yeah. NC's driving. Hey, by the way, real quick, Sean Green, do you still play? Remember what was that seven years ago now? Same name game. You still play? Same name game. How were the rules of that Sean Green, the baseball player, Sean Green spelled completely differently. The New York jets running back. How about that? Same name game. Both professional athletes though. But they're two pretty different characters. Look, it's a four. Let's take it. You got a stand up single. I'm doing better than usual in that case. All right now, sunny in 90 seconds. What's our strategy? I don't think we ask, I think we tell them. You know what I mean? I feel uncomfortable infringing on your parenting. This is a one parent. I pay somebody to parent. A small armor of people I employ to parent. Well, I already have my hands full. Let's let. Yeah. Well, I'm wondering what is the best way to get the answer out of a 6 year old? I don't think you asked. I think you say, we found something. I think you may have taken it. Right. So you tell me. Oh, that's good. Thank you. Okay. Freaking here. Sonny. Hi, dad. Hi, dad. Hi, Sonny. Hey, Sonny, remember the other day when you came to the shop with Daddy? Yeah. And Daddy was counting his money on the table? Yeah. Daddy's missing some of his money and I know that you took some of that money and Daddy needs it back. Okay? I didn't take it. Don't lie to Daddy, Sonny. Dad, I'm not. Daddy's missing money from the table and Daddy needs it back. Wait, I have a question for you. Yes? Know when you put the money in the white thing? Yeah. Did you look in there? Spoiled again. Did I look into the white envelope? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm missing that. Sonny, did you look another page on the other place where you were the other place where you took all the other money? I looked all over and I think maybe by mistake you may have taken it with you. So I need you to find it for me. Okay, I'll try to Find him. I don't think I took it. Well, wait a minute now. You don't think you took it? What the hell was that? Holy shit. Look, it could be worse. It could be in a fire. This has gone horribly wrong. I'm raising a thief. Or Olga is. Oh, yeah, Olga. Oh, I'm gonna have some crossover. She's the mastermind. She's the one that needs to be taken to tax. Listen, when I pay you to raise my son, part of that money goes to teach him between right and wrong. Do you understand me, you witch? You're wasting my time now. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, that was Brian. Oh, sure. Everyone does, Sonny. There. All right, Sonny, I need you to find that envelope with the money, okay? Now, the good news is there's a reward. About what? Shiny metal money. What? Shiny, round metal money is what you're gonna get when you give me my little envelope back with the boring, worthless, dirty green paper money in it, okay? How much is it? How much is the reward? Yeah, the negotiations have begun. I should have put one of those explosive die packs in there. You better make it a hundred dollars. All right, now listen to me. Daddy's angry. I want that money back. Do you understand me? Yes. All right, now you go find it. Where is it? Go find it right now. Okay, I'll try to find it. Where did you hide it? I didn't hide it, dad. Go find it. Go find it. Give it to Mommy. Go find it. Go find that envelope and give it to Mommy. Okay, give it to Mommy. Count it first. Count it, then give it to Mommy. Eyes are tearing up. Well, listen, Mommy, I think. Tell them to find it. Well, tell what happened. Well, there was money. All right. I don't know. Is this the greatest moment in podcast history? I don't know what happened. There was money on the table. I was counting the money on the table. At home? No, here at the shop. Sonny had commented on the money on the table. Then Drew brought in an insane person he met on Twitter. That person was sitting where I. After I got up and walked to the back of the shop, I found the insane person sitting where I was sitting. Then the money was missing. I assumed the insane adult had taken it, but I didn't know that. Your son. That's Olga's son. How dare you. Sorry. You and Olga's son could have engaged in such behavior that I did not know. Now, he commented on the money, and he also commented on the envelope. That envelope may be somewhere. It's a red flag. Yeah, the white envelope. Red Flag? Yeah. Mm. I don't think he took it. Well, could he have been a witness? Did he see the insane. Don't. Don't ask. He said no, he didn't take it. What's he gonna say when he. When we found the 40 on him? He said he was keeping it safe. Yeah, but he tells me the truth. No, don't. He's a criminal mastermind. This lie is nothing to him. Yeah, he's Kaiser. So say. Look, tell him to walk you upstairs and to take you to the envelope, all right? Do you want to be on the phone for that? Yes. If he takes you to the envelope, he won't be. Hey, stop telling him he didn't take it, though. No, I'm not saying anything. He's telling me what he did. You left it there and what? I left it there and opened the black transformers and opened the black Transformer toy. You did not take the money. I didn't take the money. He didn't take it. Adam, go upstairs. Go to where he hides, all right? I'll tell you What. Pump about 1000 cc's of sodium penthol in him. I keep it in my underwear drawer. I'll text Gary back with the answer, but I'll tell you. All right, Tell him. Tell him to take you to where he put the money. Okay? But don't keep saying you didn't take it, did you? No, no, I won't pretend like he took it. Would you, please? Okay. All right. Thank you. Thank you. I wish you weren't a liar. That was emotionally traumatizing for you. My heart goes out to you, Adam, but I think you handled that beautifully. Really? Yeah. Well, thank you. All right, mothers, that's what they do. As a rule this weekend. Little Jean Claude Van Dammeschek just started baseball four years old. Too young, probably, but he got there, and he started crying. I want to go home. I want to go home. I said, that's not an option. You can't go home. I want to go home. Mama says I can. You know that. You leave the door open. It's not an option to leave. It's not up to you whether you stay or go now. Same thing. Same with the getting on the roller coaster. The Matterhorn. When we went to Disneyland, Sunny broke down and started to do the. I went and Lynette looked into his teary eyes and said, you don't. And I. You have to go. And then it's mama, daddy square down in the not so okay corral, going on to the Matterhorn, because I'm like, let's. Let's do it. And they're given the. Yeah. In the meh corral. Oh, wait a minute. I gotta get that. Let me try it again. Try it again. In the meh corral with the nuts. Okay. Am I. I like not so okay. I guess my vote. Oh, sorry, buddy. But the okay corral is a thing. What's the ma? That would be a synonym for the not so. Who would pick that up? Nobody would know what you're talking about. You got to hear like. Wait, what did you say? Did you say ma? The not so okay corral. Now that. Sorry, I thought meh was a thing. Meh. Well, yeah, but it's not connected to. Oh, it's not so okay corral. Okay. Three steps too far for anyone to follow. That really is. Wow. All right. Allison, did you get that check? I didn't get it. I'm sorry. All right. O for three and then the 350,000. Sean Green. And Sean Green was better than the Matt Corral. We got a four and a minus four. Look out world. Taking over the comedy world. All right, that was the mystery of the missing cash envelope and Sonny Corolla 2013. Coming for our final clip today, we have Adam Carolla Show 1917 featuring Kevin Pollock, Dr. Drew, Joe Coy, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop, 2016 Joe Coyote Cheese. Oh, speaking of food and Dr. Drew, I had a cheese related rant that I had never really experienced before, but Drew inspired me to scream about cheese. Oh, good. And what I do now, I didn't know. I don't know how to recreate it. So I just thought I'd play you some of it and we'll just. We'll just stop when you guys. When your ears start bleeding, but it'll be invisible. Cue me and his. When's his show? His Wednesday show or something. Actually Thursday show. All right. I don't. I. Anyway, go ahead. We. We buy as a nation and we display way too much soft cheese. Finally, the hard hitting. I was thinking about it the other. Like a French. Like a Brie or something. Brie. And there's blue cheese and things like soft cheese. As opposed to the Manchegos. There's nothing better than the harder Italian cheese or even the. And it struck me, it was a weird thing because. Have you ever had fontina cheese? Probably. Oh, my God. And that's a soft ish. But they don't display that one properly. You're right. You like the cheese where you eat it as itself. Right. Now it's something you spread because all the sauce. Yeah. And it was a weird. So it struck me that my favorite cheese is you go to the Trader Joe's. It's sort of Italian, but it's not really Parmigiani. And it's not that hard, but it's a little stiff, and you cut off pieces, pungent. It tastes really great. Anyway, Manchego's the clue. Maybe that's it. My. But provolone is great. But anyway, look, my wife's friend Jody came over the other week and she did the farmers market thing and she brought all the. But it was almost all, like, soft, you know, and it comes. It comes into cellophane and it's a little wilt. A little. She had it all spread out, last for five minutes, nobody touched it. And then about two weeks later, it was all bad in the fridge and I had to chuck it. And then we had the party the other day with the movie premiere, and they brought a lot of cheese back. All the stuff that came back was soft, which meant all the hard stuff got eaten. Now, all I'm saying is this. When you do the cheese thing, when you're doing the thing where you're doing the party and you gotta have some stuff going around or whatever, stop at the 5050 mix. It's right up there with the vegetarian pizza. It's like, hey, we gotta have some veggie pizza. We gotta have some veggie subs. Who do we need veggie subs? It's like, no, you don't. I don't think people like it. And by the way, if you don't like hard cheese, you don't like cheese. Fuck you like. If you don't like it, you don't like it. I don't care if you don't get your fucking Brie. You know about that. I think that you can't eat it. Your chip. Here's the thing about brie. You can't shove your fucking finger in it. You rub that. You take that, you take the fucking cracker, it'll bust off. Yep. Now you're left with, I gotta find a fucking broad knife. Somebody get me a spatula. And I gotta heat this up a little. And then. Then you start hollowing out. The center of it starts getting hollow out. And then it pussy lips falls over on itself like it flaps over on itself. Now you're digging from the side, but the side is congealed. Yeah, the labia falls over on itself. Majora, majora, majora. Always a little go. There's Always some dickhead. Oh, you can eat that. Yeah, I could eat a fucking cigarette butt too, bitch. But I choose not to. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can eat that. Yeah, I don't have to peel an orange. I could just eat it, but I don't. I don't want to do it. Yeah, I don't choose to, but yeah, no, you can. And then. So now the side. The side gets hard. The side gets a little hard because it's been exposed to the air a lot. Yeah. The front access. No access anymore. It's flapped over. So now you're going at it at the side. And they give you those stupid water table cracker things that. Stupid ones that. Oh, it's from England. They must know more than us about crackers. We got to scrape it along the edge. You got to try to penetrate that side hymen. Side hymen. Because it congeals a little, gets a little smoothed over, has suddenly become a vulva. It's become a vulva and it gets a side hymen. And now we got to try to get into that. Meanwhile, if you just cube up some Monterey Jack and cube up some cheddar and cube up some. Whatever you say, Havard, just fucking cube it up. Everyone will walk by and just pop it into their mouth. Problemo. And the goddamn soft cheese can't be transported. The cubes. The harder cheese, you bust off a chunk, put some in a cup or something, Put. If you care, go out and smoke and eat your cheese. Or walk around, take a napkin, throw a few. Throw a few squares on your napkin and go walk around with your beer or whatever it is. Oh, not the soft cheese. You stand here and eat it here, bitch. You eat it here. Sorry. I would argue that this is more of the nonsense that came out of the seventies because it was. You can't steer everything back this. You're like a racist black folk. You gotta start in the south with the black folk. You do that. But with the 70s, you're like a racist with the 70s. All right, let me. Without my racist rant. I think that this is an a vestige of the fact that the first exotic cheese that sort of arrived on the American palate was the French and the Brie and the Camembert, and we just never got over it. I'm over it. Even though there's so much better stuff here. Everything's available now. I'm saying, when you do the cheese spread, we do not need the 50. 50 soft to the Stuff that we fucking like. Yes. Max Pana. You go to die. They just go to die. They bust off. They're like, what do you want from me? I'm spineless. The goat cheese. You like that song? No. And they're firmer goat cheeses, too. They're really good now. Yeah. I am telling you, they're not spreads. They can cube them now. You go online to Trader Joe's and find me my fucking hard cheese. I buy this shit, but there's nothing better than, like, just a little provolone slice. Anyway, let's stop it with the soft cheese, America. What's making us soft? Sauce. They are turning into sauces with these hard cheeses. And like I said, the tip. The tip of the breeze. Fine. But once you start getting. This is midship past the tip. And midship of the brie, it's gone. That was that again, no good. Is that a sexual. How much brie gets rant. Has been sexual. How much brie gets thrown out every year because half a thing of Brie. You know what I mean? You get. You get to the. You get to the pussy lips. You get it flapped over on itself and the rest has to get trashed because the only way to do it is to lift it up, get the. Put your mouth up to it, put in the stirrups, get the speculum and peel it back, right? You have a major vaginal surgery on the Brie. Like, what else are we gonna do? Yeah, and who wants to get their hands dirty with this shit? You walk around smelling like a fucking. Like, careful, I said socks. That's salmon. Anyway, you know what I'm saying? It's a process. Yeah. The cheese. Now I got a fucking fridge full of soft cheese. I got a fridge full at home with soft cheese. I have to throw it all out. We just invented something new here. Cheese speculum. Cheese speculum. Well, I'd like to live in a world where if you. Hey, if you can't cube it, get it the fuck off my platter. That's. That's. Those a motto for living? Can't you. But fuck it. Yeah. If this cheese cannot be cubed, I got no time for it on my body, Gary. No fucking time for. Not a model to live by. I think it is. I think that's about it, right? Wow. What if you. Another 10 minutes on. You should definitely listen to Thursday's A and D because that's only about half of the cheese. We take a call and it diverts a little bit, but then you start requesting That I find your kind of cheese at Trader Joe's and we get into it. And this is the show where Adam and Drew answer listener questions. That's right. We took a call, Brian. Yeah, we took a call. I feel bad for Gary because as soon as Adam said, go to Trader Joe's website and find. I know for a fact, I've been there many times. Traders website does not have their products on it. Sure don't. They don't have the pro there. It's like a dessert of, like, recipes. Grana, I felt very Padano, I think, is the one I was trying to figure out. That's what we think we came up with. It's. It's right up here on your screen. There's one that I just love. Oh, is that, like, from Trader Joe's? It's not hard, it's not soft. It's zesty, tasty, and it's very Italian. And I just enjoy the hell out of that one. But soft cheese should only be in a can anyways, with the little long nipple. But Dr. Ju is right. Manchego is my favorite cheese. So Spanish. When you cube the cheese, the cheese gets eaten 100% of the time because it either gets eaten all at the party or just ends up in a piece of Tupperware and you just sit the next day and you pop them in your mouth. I say 50% of Brie displayed gets wasted. Absolutely. Because it can't sit in air that long. And especially since the real business end is the backside that you can't get to the pointy side, you get to about 10, 15%, and then the rest gotta go in the garbage. Right. And Brie doesn't keep, like, once you're done with that half of Brie, what do you think? It's like, gotta kind of mold it back into some Saran Wrap or something. When Brie's at a party and it's been, you know, handled a lot, it ends up looking like the slime that you buy when drop it on the ground starts picking up debris. Yeah, it's got hair in it. It's kind of like some rat droppings in there, busted off cracks. Confetti. Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't know what Brie etiquette is, but you can't go, what do you do? Get a pencil and try to dig out what you broke off in debris at the party. You can't do it when they've contributed to debris at that point, you know, they need the debris. Ah, the debris. We need a. Not a Bad rapper name either. Debris. I need album. Here's what we. Yo, this Debris. My new album releases next month called Cutting Cheese. Cheddar. Cheddar. Cheddar. I say Brie, you say Brie. Brie. That's what I'm saying. Drop dropping this month. Hey, DJ Debris and his new album, Cheese. Yeah, man, I love it. Yeah. What's up, man? Hey, my son is. Fuck your party and he'll Brie. He's lactose intolerance. I don't know. Is it okay to listen to your music? Yeah, it's all good as long as there's no Brie in the motherfucking house. Well, he is. Like I said, he's lactose intolerant. But he does love your music. Everybody loves me, Debris. You know what I'm saying? I'm in the place to be. Oh, yeah, you're rhyme that one. Yeah, we can rhyme together. One, two, three. There you go. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I was thinking this off top of my head. Like, you know, I like the party. I like Havarti, something like that. Everybody likes to party when there's Havarti. Cheddar better. Cheddar better. Everybody better. That's not even a word. But it r with cheddar. Yeah, yeah. So Debris. Yeah, So I know there's. I know there's like a gangster rap, right? Hurry up. Yeah, hurry up before I bust a cracker in your ass. Cracker. I get it. You know what I'm saying? That's word play, you know what I'm saying? I know there's like the gangster stuff. There's like the east coast and the west coast and all that. Crips and Bloods and everything, but I don't know that there's much dairy based wrath. Oh, man, it's. It's a we coming up. Yo, you're the first I've heard of the dairy based rap. I'm trying to break out, you know what I'm saying? Like I said, in stores in January, debris, right? Debris in the place to be, right? Cutting the cheese. Cutting the cheese. All right. One, two, three. Three. There you go. We do this all day. Yeah. So now this is work. I say Brie, you say fuck that party. Brie. Brie. So you're pretty big in Wisconsin. I know, but what about. I'm huge in Wisconsin. I'll be fucking everybody in Wisconsin. All the ladies love Bree, you know what I'm saying? They love me. M N, O P. It's a D apostrophe. If you want to. If you want it to be. But other than the dairy states. Is this working well for you? Like in New York, I sold about a hundred thousand records. In Wisconsin. Yeah. Chicago, I just sold two. Oh, okay. So less of a dairy oriented. Not so many people in the dairy rap, you know what I'm saying? But are we trying to do it before that? Before we take a crap, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to get this done. Would we. That would be a wrap. Would we? See what I'm saying? That's good. Because when the breeze done that pussy flap. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, No, I got it. You gotta grab the breaches all the way in the back. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, it should be like. Oh, you know, it'd be nice. Yeah. I'm not telling you how to run your business. Yeah, you better not, you cracker ass motherfucker. Oh, okay. Well, we don't. I feel like we. Oh, cracker. Okay. You don't say. You can leave race out of. We don't like crackers. You know, I got it. In your world. Understood. Okay. I'm not offended. What I'm saying is debris, like when we do your thing, like at itunes. Yeah, yeah. In the dairy section. Oh, man. You know what I mean? Good idea. Or in the chilled section. The refrigerated section, you know, I mean, not your chilled. You know, I mean in the chilled section. Not that itunes physically has a refrigerated section, but I like that, you know, conceptual. That's actually album cover. The album cover is kind of like a refrigerator. Oh, refrigerator. Like a fridge. Like with plastic flaps. Yeah, yeah. Keep the cold in. Keep the cold in. Yeah. Leave the hot out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Grab a piece of breeze and stick it in your motherfucking mouth. Yeah. You know what I mean? You know, it's not a good. You know, you. You haven't landed where you wanted to land career. I got another album idea called Dick Cheese. Oh, yeah, that's different. Follow up. That's what? That's the follow up. That's a sophomore cd. I was gonna say if. If one of those big pla. Plastic flap. That big curtain flaps that you walk through to keep the back of the refrigerated section from. If that one of those curtains ever knocks your paper hat off or your hair net, you have not landed career wise, where whatever you're dreaming of in high school. Yeah. Did not come to fruition. That's a good tell. One of those flaps knocks your hat off. Yeah. That's where I used to work before I became a rapper. At the store. At the store in the dairy section. The dairy section. Hey, can I ask? There you go. Let's talk the rap and stop the flow, you know what I mean? 3, 2, 1. Fuck you. I got a gun. Grab that spoon and start some fun. Yeah. Debris in your mouth. Oh, can I ask you this? Fuck you, hun. See, it's easy. I'm familiar with your kid who raps Small turd. Oh, small Kurd, yo. Small Kurds. Yeah, that guy's good. Yeah, he's real good. That's my sidekick. I don't really even know the difference. Why I should even think about. Why is there not a medium curd? I feel like there's a large curd and a small curd, you know what I mean? Small curds always taste better with French. Oh, is that small curry? Yeah, what's up? Hey, what's happening? Hey, man, I dig your product, man. My face, man. You just put me on some french fries and some gravy. I'm delicious by myself. Ain't that good. No, but I'll do a little gravy and French. I'll do a little blueberry and honeys on you. You know, the blueberries. And scatter. Scatter them over here and put a little honey on you. A small curd. Part of my friends. But what the did you do, Saint? Wow. I just said I could put some blueberries and some honey on you now. Don't ever put blueberries and honey on me, man. Okay, I'm sorry, Gravy, man. I'm sorry. Gravy and French fries. Poutine, poutine, poutine. Okay. I got a new album called I'm gonna lick your poutine clean. They're coming out in January also with my boy Debris. Yeah, my album's coming out as well. When is the debris? When is cutting the cheese dropping? Cutting the cheese dropping? In January along with my boy, little Kurt. Yo, we got an album together. I don't want to be cheesy. Is it called fondant? Yes, yes, it is. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I just feel like you're limiting yourself with this cheese based wrap, with this dairy wrap. I don't know, I feel like if you'd open it up to like, the deli section completely. Yeah, I like, you know, sliced meats, things of that nature. Canned. Fuck that meat, you know, I'm just seasoned loaf type meats. Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking very limited. Or maybe we take it out of the store altogether. We just. One thing at a time, buddy, okay? I'm just. Just. Look, I worked in radio for a while anyway. Count of three. When I say three, one, two, three, say Brie. One, two, three. One, two, three, Brie. That's what I'm saying. See, I get all kinds of parties going. You know what I'm saying? How much fun is this party? It's pretty fun. It's good for a cheese based party. Saying, yo, all right, Carl's up there. Lick your poutine. Hold on. Make sure you lick your poutine. Hold on now. I don't feel like. Can you just plug it real quick? I don't lick your poutine. You want to lick my poutine? When's that driving again? Tuesday, January. January. Okay, we'll look for that poutine. Poutine. We'll look for that. Gravy and fries. Gravy and fries. There you go. Gotcha. Hey, we'll have you back on the show when it drops. When I say brie, say. Put it in your mouth, Bri. Hey, Carl, feel like we're duped. Oh, all right. That was adam Cole Show, 1917. That does it for this weekend's Corolla Classics. I hope you enjoyed all the clips. Until next weekend, mahalo and get it on.