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Adam Carolla
Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear and T shirts. Bombas are so absurdly comfortable, you may throw out all your other clothes. Sorry, do we legally have to say that? No, this is just how I talk. And I really love my Bombas. They do feel that good. And they do good too. One item purchased equals one item donated. To feel good and do good, go to bombas.com wondry and use code wondry for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B-A-Com wondry and use code wondry at checkout. Mochi Health is here to help you start your weight loss journey with caring, personalized support. Meet one on one with board certified obesity doctors and registered dietitians who truly listen and understand your unique needs. Eligible patients can access affordable GLP1 medications delivered right to their door each month. No insurance, no problem. Mochi Health accepts FSA and HSA, making care accessible and affordable. And with 24. 7 customer service, you'll never feel alone on your path to better health. Get started with Mochi Health today. Take the free quiz@joinmochi.com and use code AUDIO40 at checkout for $40 off your first month of membership. That's join M O C H I.com with promo code AUDIO40. Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast. We play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Corolla show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics available through Podcast one Premium as well as Adam Carolla substack for the ad free archives adamcarolla.substack.com, you have the ad free archives for this show, the Adam Carolla show, the Adam Dr. Drew show, and the exclusive home of Adam's brand new podcast, Beat It Out. If you'd like to request a clip, Please email us classics.com all right, let's get to the clips. Coming up first, we have Adam Carolla Show 2261, Joel McHale, Gina Grad, Brian Bishop. This one's from February of 2018. Check it out. All right, let's. So are you cool? Is it cool that to know that guys are like, I'm gonna get this erection going and I'm gonna think about Adam Corolla now? Oh, wow. Oh, I'm flattered. I'm flattered by that. I really am. Performance, right? Yeah. It's better than thinking about baseball. Adam, what is your wedding ring made of? I asked that yesterday. I've Been asked this a lot. Okay. It's so exciting. Is it a car part? When it's crystallized tears. I gotta do something about this. I was asked last night by my nanny about this wedding ring. What had happened is this. I had a gold wedding ban, and I have a knuckle that has been damaged. And it's like a double thing. It looks like a large pea under the skin of your knuckle. And it's. It's so hard. I like your punch. It's rock hard. Joel's gonna touch it. Joel may touch the knuckle. It is a rock hard. You may touch the knuckle. It is a. It. It is rock. Look at that. It is rock hard. And so if a bone. If it's a calcium deposit or something, there's something going on from too much boxing in my youth. So what happens is, if I try to take my wedding ring off to hit the heavy bag, throw some weights around, or bang astray on the road. What? You said, bang astray on the road. I said hit a heavy bag. I said adopt astray. I said throw some weights around. What did you hear? Pretty much. Then you said, I feel like Gina. You heard it. Bang astray on the road. No, I think you must have mistook that with hit the heavy bag. It's hard to. I just did the two. Brian, did you hear him say bang astray on the road? I heard you say it. I heard you say three times. Why would I be. Well, could you take it back? Because Lynette listens to the show. No, I mean, I. Look, I. Did you guys hear it? They heard the heavy bag. Right? Heavy bag. Throw some weights around. Right? Okay. All right, I'm gonna. That's strangely specific, Joel. So then if you could just tell him. Why don't we start over? Why don't we just start that over like. So when you. Okay, so. Okay, so whether I wanted to hit the double ended bag, right. Or do some bench press. Right. Or fuck a groupie, I realized that I needed to take the ring off. You just fuck a groupie, right? What? You just said it. That's weird. That's very offensive. I don't know what groupies are as a type of fish. Why. Why would I. Okay. Why hit that? I used to box. I know. I hit a double. Hammer is one of my favorite romantic comedies ever. I'm glad you like. They have a double ended bag. Right. You can work on your timing with that. But you'd want to take your wedding ring off. And if you wanted to lift weights with. You can't wear the wedding ring because. Well, no. To pinch against the barbell or what? I mean, the belt, right? Or to what? Or to heavy bag. Heavy bag. Wait, dumbbell. To take your. Right, well, to take your ring off you for other things. Such as? Okay, I don't. Because I've heard you. I heard you say fuck a groupie. That's what I heard. You got to worry about sometimes what you're thinking versus what you're saying. You know what I mean? I'm going to. Okay. I feel like. I feel like you're thinking it. I'll let you get. I'm so sorry. Okay. Why don't you get through with your thoughts? So you have to take your wedding ring off to do. Just hit a speed bag, right? Sometimes even skip row. Plow a stranger. Right? So you just said plow a stranger. Is that part you said plow a stranger. You heard it right, Gina? I said hashtag. Me too. I don't like this language and I'd like you to leave. I said skip row. I didn't say it was non consensual. I gave you a lot of examples, Jo. I said skip rope. I said speed bag. I said double ended bag. I said heavy bag. I said barbell. And I said dumbbell. Now, if those aren't six enough examples for you, why take my wedding ring off? And why you have to stray into this world where. Look, I swear, when you play this back, you accuse me of banging Jeanine, a 31 year old, thrice divorced mother of three who I keep an apartment in Seattle. When you come out with those kinds of accusations. Wait, you just said 31 year old mother of three who lives in Seattle, you have an apartment for. Her name is Janine, Right? I said dumbbell. I said heavy bag. I said speed bag. I don't even know how you know Janine. You know this Janine, so you said Janine. You're saying Janine, 31 years old, mother's name. You know my Janine. That's what I'm saying. So I don't even know what you're talking about. Wait, you're. So now you are saying you know Janine? I'm saying you keep saying Janine, and if you keep talking shit about my little girl, I'm gonna go upside your head. Little girl? She's a mom of three. Leave my daughter out of this. All I know is you're throwing out random names. Your daughter is not named Janine. My daughter's name, Natalia. Right. And don't you evoke her name. You understand she would not be happy if she heard you bringing up her name. Do you got Joel? You've always been such a polite guest and respectful. This is uncomfortable. It just seems like every time you ramp into the stuff that you like to do without your wedding ring on, you go, well, this is a practical purpose. I need to box with it because it'll hurt. I need to lift weights, and I need to take it off because it could. You could pinch the skin. And then you say, plow a stranger. You say, this woman that you keep in Seattle named Janine, who's a mother of three. You said those things. Or bang a stray on the road. I don't even want to dignify that with an answer, but Janine blows me. So why would I take the ring off? How would that cause any friction? Blows me. You said it. You are saying Janine blows you. I don't know who Janine is. You said Janine was your daughter. Your little girl. All right, I. You. Joe, I'm sorry we started off so well, but you sicken me. You sicken me. You sicken me. I don't. I don't know why you guys. Okay, you know what? So you take the ring off. I do. Because I still enjoy the sweet science of boxing and bagging. Janine and I go into the gym or the apartment on Queen Mary, and I'm able to perform. Okay. And I wish you'd stop turning this in some sort of salacious direction like, you know, you do with, I don't know, Kevin Hart or Paul Reis or Alison Bray or one of the other guests that may show up on one of your first episodes of Joel McHale show with Joel McHale, which premieres Sunday, February 18th on Netflix. So if we could just kind of move forward and do made up movie. Normally we have a good time when you come in the studio. I'm just not gonna talk about you getting blown by Janine. But I don't even know who Janine is. Okay. Okay, you're right. I don't know how you know who she is, and I've never heard that name before. And when I tell her you're talking shit, she's gonna be pissed. If you've never heard the name before, how can you tell her? Well, of course I've heard the name Janine. I went to junior high with like six Janine. It's a real name. Doesn't mean I'm currently plowing them. She's going to be pissed. I Think I can clear this up, you guys. I went back, I look out the tape, and I think I know what Joel heard. Let's. Let's listen. If he heard, in fact, plow a stranger. Plow a stranger. See, you said. You said it. You were the one. I was quoting him. And first off, play it again. Plow a stranger. Janine is no stranger. We've had an ongoing affair for seven years. Okay, guys? So please watch the ongoing affair for seven years. Why would you accuse me? Why would you make these allocations? My children listen to this podcast. His name's on the sign. Your daughter, Janine. No, I don't even know who Jeanine is. My daughter's name. Natalia. Thank you. And I'd ask you not to bring her name into this conversation. Can you not know Janine when you literally just said that just seconds ago that she's gonna be pissed when she hears about this? My daughter Natalia is gonna be very upset when she hears about what you said about my gal, Jeanine. Okay, I don't even know who Jeanine is. All right? Okay. That's right. And I don't even know her last name. We've agreed not to use last name, so I have no idea what you're saying in my studio right now. You just said. Second. You just mumbled, we've agreed not to use last names. Right. I said ha. Okay, please, one more time. Hit the heavy bag. Yes. Hit the speed bag. Right. Double ended bag. Okay. Barbells. Right. Dumbbells. Skip rope. Right? Yeah. That's all. I mean, that's what you do in a gym. And take Janine from behind. That's all I can think. You said take Janine from behind. You just said it. I don't know who this person is, and I don't know why you're obsessed with her. It's just that you keep saying shit and then you say you haven't said it. And no one. Thank God I have witnesses. Joel, you're gonna have to check the tape and then check yourself. You know what, Brian? Do you have it? I got a different section. He's gonna edit it down and he's gonna put my voice in there. I don't just record, man. Janine takes me from behind. That's what you said. Let's hear it. What you and Janine do is your business. That's. I'm quoting. As long as there's another gene I'm not fucking. What would you. Huh? You just said, as long as there's not another Janine, I'm not fucking. Okay, Joel, what you and this magical person named Janine do is your business. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I don't care. Go ahead. Except for this weekend. Go ahead. Fuck a groupie. Oh, my God. Is that what you do on the road? I see why you would think. How unbelievable. I thought you were a nice guy. All right. And steam. Thank you, Joe McCau. Oh, no, not seeing. Let's keep going. So anyway, my nanny said to me. Your nanny? My nanny. Your nanny. All right. She said to me, like, I don't need this for my goddamn nanny. She said last night, okay? So I did a show in Vegas. We did a show at Caesars. When I was done with the show, a guy handed me this O ring, rubber gasket wedding ring. And he said, use this, because your ring won't come off. If you ever want to bang Janine, you have to pull your ring, and it gets caught up on this big. This big calcium deposit of it. It's like. It literally won't come off. And if you want to hit the speed bag or something, you want to take it off. So he handed me this, and I've been wearing it ever since. And everyone always asks what it is, but they make them, like, in black. I think I need one in black. That's what, like, the athletes wear something like the Christian athlet. And then I look up o ring, rubber wedding ring. That will. They'll. That'll come up, look up, like, workout wedding ring or something. It's for guys who, like, have to practice stuff and, like, don't take the ring on and off. If you get it in black, you can always, in a pinch, you know, say, oh, my wife just died. I'm in the morning. I need, you know, soft. Or you use it as a cock ring with Janine. Yeah, you get it big enough, you use it as a cock ring with Janine. Okay. What you and Janine do is your business, Joel. And I don't even know why you would verbalize it. I. You have to hit the heavy bag on a cage. So here's the thing. Let me ask you this. I don't know if your nanny does this to you, Joel, but I don't need my nanny doing this to me. In the kitchen last night, she's like, so, what is that? I said, it's the wedding ring. She says, why? I said, well, the other one I can't take on and off and stuff, and my knuckles screwed up. So I just wear this one and Then she goes super sarcastically, oh, you scared women are going to bother you on the road? And I'm like, why is that not a possibility? Bitch, I was in D.C. last week. There are plenty of chicks there. It's a possibility. Tons of people in Lynch. Why are you ruling this out, Jim? And you get heckled by. Yes, I get heck by people that you pay. Yeah, every once in a while we have this routine worked out where I go, now listen, everybody, I don't like to talk about myself. And she goes, no, she's your. She's your Bob Zamuda. All right, this is Adam Cole Show 2261. Coming up next, we have Adam Cole Show 2259. Teresa Strasser, Gina Grant, Brian Bishop. April 2019. Pluto TV has all the shows and movies you love, streaming for free. That means laughter is free with gut busting comedies like the Neighborhood Boomerang and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Bueller free Mystery is free with countless cases to crack from Criminal Minds Tracker and Matlock. I'm a lawyer like the old TV show and thrills are free with heart pumping hits like the Walking Dead and Pulp Fiction. Correctamundo. Feel the free Pluto TV stream. Now pay. Never. I always. I don't know, I have a thought that's convenient for me, but I still feel like it's accurate. Let me jump on with finish my convenient and accurate thought in a second. Dietrich, 32, Holland. Hey, man. Hey. Have we spoken to you before? Yeah, we did. I called him to The Adam and Dr. Drew show a while back. Yeah, in Holland. Damn it. I'm trying to recall what you are. You're a school teacher or do you manufacture something small? I can't remember what you did. What do you do over there? Well, I came up with this app for people with food allergies called Alert. So if you travel to China or something and you're allergic to like, dairy or peanuts or something, you can use the app to generate a warning message and then it displays it in the language that you choose. So if you travel around and you have food allergies, you can tell people that way to. Yeah, that you're allergic. That's smart of you. How'd you come onto the show? Why are you listening? Well, I was an exchange student in the US in 2011, and I rented a car there that had SiriusXM and it had Howard Stern. And that's how I kind of got introduced to American radio, which is much better than any radio anywhere, really. And, yeah, from there I discovered podcasts and eventually I stumbled onto you guys and yeah, Adam and Dr. Drew shows, the show I listen to every day when I go to and from work, whether it's on my car and my bicycle. So you got a fan over here in Europe, man. And what about Holland? That should we know? We always hear. We hold those countries up in this country as these sort of beacons of the future. You know, the medical for everyone and college for everybody. How good is it and how applicable would that be to a country like our own? Oh, that's an interesting question. Well, the Netherlands is really great. We do pay a lot of taxes. But I think because the country is so small, it's like a tiny country that has more than 17 million people in it. And yeah, almost everyone. We've got a very low unemployment and so things are going well. So because of that we can afford a good welfare state. I mean, my, like, if you get hit by a car or you get a bad disease and you get to the hospital for like two years, you're never going to have to pay one single cent out of pocket. But I think the only way, because we can, the only way, the only reason we can do that is because we're so small and it's easy to manage. The US is huge. I'm not sure if our system would work in the U.S. you know, you guys are very different and got different challenges and different, you know, makeup of population in a way. Bigger problems. I have an argument, like sort of pro and con. Like on one hand you go, well, it's like a little taco stand or burger joint that you love. But how much would you love it if they expanded and they had a place in Indiana? And how. Wouldn't. Don't you think it would fall off a little bit or whatever. Whatever it is. On the other hand, there is kind of an in and out version where you very slowly expand and you keep all the whatever. But it's kind of interesting. Like we knew the guy, Sebastiani's his name, and he came up with Crave Jerky and it's delicious and he used to come in here, I think he'd come in here, we'd come in on Carcast or whatever and we'd talk about. We'd eat his Crave Jerk and we loved it. And then he sold it to Nestle or Hershey's or whatever it is, and we're just having some, you know, when we fly now, it's ubiquitous and it's everywhere and some big company bought it, blah, blah, blah. And you jump on the mike, brings a sack of the chipotle and you jump on the plane and you start chewing into it and it's like a little bit dry. Not what it was, not what it was. Like it got. And look, I'm not blaming. Look, the person buys it, they got to make money. There's a profit margin. They start going with a little different cut of beef and it starts expanding and the factory gets to be 10 billion square feet and now it's a little dry. Yeah, quality's different. There's kind of that. So yes, I don't think you could take a boutique winery, restaurant or country, you live in a boutique country and go, well now just expand that 50 fold and it'll never drop off like it probably will because everything does once you do that Dietrich. Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. I mean, if you look at the bigger countries in the European Union, if you look at Italy or even France right now, I mean they're, you know, they're having a much harder time to keep it together. You know, their economy is not doing that great. And yeah, like the Netherlands is one of the few countries in Europe that's still doing really well. And I think it has to do because one, we're small and two, we're. We're a trade nation. Like a lot of everything that goes in and out of Europe goes through us. We got the biggest harbor in Europe still and one of the biggest in the world still. So, you know, as long as things are going well in Europe, it's going well over here. So we're just geographically in a very good position and that really helps us. So. And yeah, again, it's small country is easier to manage than an enormous place. Well, no different than a yard, I'm guessing. Can I ask Diedrich a question we've often wondered about? Diederik, you may be the only person to answer this as someone who's been spent time in the US and obviously in Holland. The US phrase going Dutch or Dutch doors. Why are the Dutch so into splitting things? Why is that a Dutch thing? Trading post. I think the deal was go ahead. Yeah, I think the trading thing might have something to do with it. And also we have Calvinistic history, which is like very sober living way of living. You know, it's in our nature to spend as little money as possible. And we have a phrase that goes du mernemalden du joch. That means if you act normal, you're being crazy enough, you know, so just be low key, don't be too Flashy. Don't spend too much money. And I don't know if you ever saw those cheese graters. Like, it's. It's a. It's a thing that allows you to slice a very thin piece of cheese from cheese. And that's. Yeah, like the wire ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting because there's going Dutch and splitting the check. There's Dutch doors. Splitting. Split door. I always said when I did carpentry, if you wanted to fill in a mortise, it was called a Dutchman, meaning, don't buy a new jam, fix the old jam with a piece of wood you glue in. It was like, there is a Dutch cheapness thing, culture going on. But you do a hell of a Christmas dinner with that. With that little, like, with the hibachi grill. And everyone gets their own little. Oh, God, I love that. Did you get that? Right? What's it called? Raclette. You mean hibachi grill? Like, what am I thinking about? No, it's almost like. It's almost like Dutch tapas. Like, Brian knows what it is. This is with the cheese, right? It's a little. It's like a little grill that you sit on top of the table and everyone has their own tray. Yeah. You got your own tiny little pen. Yeah. Thanks, Dietrich. I know we're gonna play some cop talk, but we'll do that. I think that's Swiss. Another show. My good friend who's Swiss does it every Christmas. Our friend's girlfriend came in from Holland and brought us one. We had it for Christmas, the story. So we still got this super drunken story to tell you. Also, the Teresa Strasser is a person. But I don't know. I mean, I assume everyone controversial. I don't know. She's a person. No, here I use. I think of her oftentimes, which is. I have had many disagreements with many people who think I'm many things. But my take. And again, it could be a super over simplistic, easy on myself take, which is you will decide the relationship we have. And if we don't get along, that's because something's up with you. Because Theresa Strasser I never met before, she's a little bit nutty, she's a little bit high strung. She's somebody that you could easily not get along with if you were me. But I would let her dictate what kind of relationship we would have. And she dictated a good relationship. I don't have a predilection of like, I'm gonna make her love me or anything like that. I gave her a couple of pieces of advice. That should have been your edict. Yes, I'll make you love me. She would listen to the couple things I said. We're vastly different people with wildly different opinions on many different things. But she always treated me decently, I always treated her decently, and thus we shall always get along. Yeah. And I can even tell you that's. That's exactly what she says behind your back when we're not on the air. Because on our show, the first three episodes, the first half of the first three are dedicated to the Adam Carolla show. And we talk about all kinds of fun things and all kinds of crazy things. And she adores you, she respects you, and she truly appreciates all of the differences between you because she's learned a lot from it. That's what she conveys when you're not listening. I agree. So if you don't get along with me, you're an asshole. I think that's what. Yeah, that's what we all took from that. Thank you. All right, I got the super drunken story. Are you raising your hand? Yeah, really quick. Just because we've been talking about radio as we record this. Do you know what's about to happen in 30 minutes? No. Mark and Brian on KLOS. Oh, they're coming back. Oh, gotta tune into that. It's pretty crazy if you're an LA radio fan. So if you're in LA and you're. It's yesterday. Thanks, Brian. I'm sure it's on a podcast. They did inspire me. God love a team player, Brian. All right, I got another funny cop clip to play from San Francisco because evidently I did a lot of material with that cop on that CHP guy on stage. All right, quick break. The drunkest I've ever been story. And Katherine, lunch lady wants to pull some balls in Sacktown right after this. Yes. And now Alcoa presents Definitely Not a Jew. On the Adam Corolla Show, Dateline, York, Maryland. A 30 year old man was charged with indecent exposure and open lewdness after he engaged in oral sex with a woman in the dining room of McDonald's. Definitely not a Jew. All right, let's see. Katherine, 38, Sacramento, she's a lunch lady. We got an F18 fighter pilot coming out to Sacramento at Thunder Valley Casino. Heroes everywhere. Yeah, that'll be tonight. Yeah, tonight. A couple tickets left. I'll be up on stage doing stand up and we'll do Adam Corll's unprepared but lunch lady. 38 year old lunch lady. Kathryn. Yes. Hello. Hello. Hi, Adam. Hi, Gina. Hi, Brian. Hey, where do you work? What's. You don't have to say the name of the school, but junior grade, high school. I do. Junior high. Junior high is junior high. Now six through eight it is here. It's seven through eight. Oh, yes. Seven through eight. That is true. Yes. So yes, it's. Interesting crowd. That's a tough crowd. I never understood the wisdom. I went to High School 10, 11, 12. I never understood the wisdom of taking 9th graders and putting them in. I mean, my buddy Ray, when he was a Senior, he was 19 and he was a goddamn animal. And the way it worked is anyone who went to North Hollywood High was fair game. Like if you were there and you were a chick, we all just went to the same high school. You were 14 and three quarters. Some of these flunkies were 19. Why are you putting them in the same general pop? I never. I never got that part, but okay. There's a big difference too, between the seventh graders and even the eighth graders, especially the new ones that come in from sixth grade compared to the eighth graders. That puberty voice. What do you guys got for food at the lunch place? Because my. We actually have really good food. The kids are spoiled. I think they get fresh salads that are made every day. Fresh sandwiches, bread that's made every day. There. You make the bread there? Yes. Wow. What is now? So what we had was like, first off, the thing about, like the ice cream scooper is if it's going into ice cream, it's the greatest thing ever. If it's going into spaghetti, it's the worst day of your goddamn life. If it's going savory. Yeah. If it's going beans or spaghetti, chopped up spaghetti, we were like, no, we don't have that. We even have chicken and waffles. Our hamburgers were gray. Like, the meat was gray. The hot dogs were weird. Like, the pizza was square, thick, and had weird crumbly meat on it. Everything was institutionalized and everything was bad Masperitz on a huge scale. It's not like that. I won't say the pizza place, but we get a take and bake pizza delivered to us every day and we cook it there. Holy Lord. So what do you do? What do I do? I do pizzas. I cook them, cut them, and then I do speed lines. So that's. I get the kids in and out quickly. Are your pizzas in the shape of pizza or is it that stupid football field shape that we used to have to eat. It is in the shape of a slice of pizza. A big slice of pizza. Pizza in pizza shape. Unbelievable how far we've come. What kind of toppings are we talking about? What options do we talk about? We just do cheese or pepperoni. We tried a veggie pizza and surprisingly that did not go over well. Everyone loves veggie pizzas. When you order pizzas, you get one cheese, one pepperoni, and one veggie. Like you do pot stickers. You always get veggies. We tried a couple weeks and it didn't work. Yeah, you know why? Because no one fucking likes it on their goddamn pizza. Like, could we put the word out? I think we like. We like the idea of liking veggie pizza, except for no one actually wants veggie. Piz. Cheese pizza is essentially just veggie pizza. It's not. You can be vegan or you can be vegetarian and you can still have yourself a slice of cheese pizza. You can be vegetarian, which is better? Sorry. Vegetarian. Right. All right, so I'm also. I do makeup, so I often do that on the side of my little side hustle. So I'm a makeup artist too. And Adam's gonna need to see 11 year old twin boys, so I'm a busy girl. Man. Is there man in your life? No. What happened to him? We are going through a divorce, so. Yeah, that sucks. It's been about two years now, but the divorce is still going. But it's so back out on the dating. It's been interesting. You looking to have a little revenge sex? Maybe. Because that F18 fighter Jock might not be excited to know he got bumped, but if he got hung, I was gonna say that's a different situation. Soft landing. Yeah, that's true. He's single. When you're out there, you work in any of those dating apps or anything? Because I feel like lunch ladies something you'd want to keep a little close to the paper vest you're wearing. I don't know though. Is it altruistic? You know, with the help and if they don't like it that they don't have to date me. Yeah, it's altruistic too. It's like I make healthy lunches for kids. Yeah, you're essentially a caterer in what you're doing. I don't know. I feel. I feel like we have a vision of our head. That is not what we're looking for. Sloppy joke. Okay, well, I sent a picture in. I don't Know if they sent you over the picture of me? I haven't seen it yet. I don't think I look like the normal lunch lady. I don't know. Well, why don't we give yourself a job? Because guys are pigs. Here's a job. You ready? Okay. Instead of lunch lady, because Brian is working an angle. We're looking at angle. Dark hair with blue eyes. Brian's angle. Sorry, different Mark and Brian. The angle of like. Well, you're helping kids nutritionally. We don't care about that. Online dating. Okay, I will tell you what. But anyone who wants to know online dating, you tell them you work for the Seagrams Corporation and you hand out a lot of samples at F1 races and Indy car races. You are in charge of walking through the hot pit, handing out country music festivals. Not so much the individual stuff. You work for Seagrove, and you'll go work and you'll oftentimes be handing out samples of something that's a hot chick job. That's a good one. I'm sure most guys would rather hear that. They would. Than lunch lady. Now, here's the thing, Kathryn. I like you and I like that you're trying to heal the kid. One slice at America, one slice at a time. But we did have a guy who is coming from the San Diego. San Diego area to see the shows in F18. Fighter Jock. So I'm trying to think of why we should bump him. Him who's given so much sacrifice to this country. They both served to you? Yes. You know, I'm fun, I'm cute. I got a cute smile up there on stage. Single, ready to go. Single, ready to go. Also, in terms of my wiring, I got a lot more to talk about with the fighter jock than the chick that hands out the food. Think about the audience. I also. Twins. Oh, twins. Boy, girl. What do you got? Two boys. Two boys. Oh, you said it. Yeah. All right. I'll tell you what, Kathryn. I don't fly F18s, but I do drive a Pathfinder full of baseball kids. Usually two. So sports. And maybe she can do your makeup backstage. Yeah, I could do with makeup backstage. Yeah. Give Mike a break. Let him watch some ESPN and eat some veggies. Look at the powder already. I can do you up so you don't get sweaty on stage, under the light. I'll tell you what, Kathryn. Come out and at some point we'll bring you, have you stand up, and we'll acknowledge you and we'll say hi to you. But you were scooped by Our fighter pilot. I got a fair is fair. A fair. Fair is fair. All right, let's see. Oh, we have a clip. We kept playing those clips of the CHP guy who made the mistake of coming up on stage with me. And then he ended up getting roasted, which is kind of more fertile soil for me. Be careful what you wish for, right? We have a clip from Cobbs, San Francisco. I think this time I got onto the subject of once I write you up for over 85, what would then happen? Because they like to do that thing where they go, you were going this fast. But I'm gonna write you up for this fast. Because if I write you up for over this cutoff. Yeah. And a whole bunch of bad things. So we'll give it a listen. You pulled someone over. What? This was just the other day. 114. 114. Fucking dude's a hero driving a mustache. I love it. What do you do now? 114 and 1. You know my favorite move? My favorite move? If I were you, I'd be doing this every day that you go up and you go, I could write you up for 114, but if I did, you'd be butt fucked for the rest of your life in a hole. So I. Yeah, I mean, if I. If I. If anything over 85, we impound your car, we strip you naked, and Officer Duke McClain, who's a man of color, cuckolds your wife in front of you. That's over 85. So anything over 85 is cuckolding. Let me get the other side of the car. It's too dangerous on this side of the car over here. So anything over 85, and they move you to Devil's island where Pepillon was. And you're staked to an anthill dude. And we you with honey. So that's over 85. So if I. And then the guy's like, I'll suck you off if you go any. Please give me 85 miles an hour. Please. Yeah, you have to go to Travis School for 7,000 years. If over 85, you lose your insurance, you lose your job, you lose your ability to achieve erections ending over 85. So I write you up for over 85. So what is that number? What's the magic? You wrote this guy up for 114. Well, you wrote it at 114. And do you show him? Do you show him? You got to show him the radar, right? You don't have to. But that was actually lidar. Oh, lidar. Yeah. What the fuck is LIDAR? LIDAR's like. You talk to your wife? You been cheating on me? No, I have not. That's bullshit. Fucking LiDAR's going on. Oh, you didn't know I installed LiDAR. LiDAR? Better radar. I guess RADAR is an acronym, so LIDAR must be, too. Oh, it is. Yeah, that's right. I have a radar detector. I guess it must work on LiDAR. Sonar is an acronym. Oh, that's right, Sonic. Please don't ask me. I always make it a room. All right, take a quick break, come back. I'll tell you my drunken story right after this Foreign. If you are a victim of Restless Cox Syndrome, rcs, are you eligible for a service core? You can leave us a message at 888-63417. Probably get a note from Dr. Drew for that. Yeah, so the drunkest I've ever been was I had a hot rod car back in the day, I lived in an apartment. I was always. You know, it's weird. I don't know if you guys can identify with this feeling or if there's some subject that resonates with you, but I had the unyielding desire to build and fix and wrench and do everything. And I had no skills and I had no experience and I had no tools. But I had this fantasy about I'm going to get a car and I'm going to fix it up and it's gonna be cool and it's custom and I'm gonna do all this stuff and it's gonna be this way and that way. And it was like a real strong, like, mechanical fantasy, I guess, like some people dream of rock and roll. I want to rock and roll, you know, but you can't play guitar and you can't sing and you can't afford a guitar. I have a nerd version of that, which is. I wanted so badly this 10, 11, 12 years old to be a sports writer. Like, I wanted Zobel to write sports. What am I gonna write Sports for? I'm 11 years old. You know what I mean? I would go to my grandparents, like, you know, third bedroom office, you know, whatever the. Whatever room they threw things in, they had a typewriter. I would just type up, like, little, like, articles and columns and give it to my grandpa because he was a big sports fan and be like, what do you think, Grandpa? I'm like, oh, yeah, you're really good. But that was my. You know, I had no forum. I couldn't publish my articles. I just gave them to my grandpa. Right. My pounds are in the typewriter. Yeah. And I hope that most people have some version of that. I hope their relationship with it isn't as frustrating as mine was because mine was very mechanical. Literally. I needed a car, I needed tools, I needed space, I needed stuff. And you just, you're not handy for the sake of being handy. I mean, you have to have somebody showing you how to use the tools and everything. And at some point I bought a Junker 240Z just sort of carcass. And I didn't have any place to do it. And I parked into my mom's driveway of her junker house and kind of had it up on blocks. And I'd go over there every weekend. Gasoline and like a scrub brush and stand inside the engine compartment and scrub things and pull the engine out and find weird little bits and pieces. But there was no rhyme, there was no reason. I had no idea what I was doing. And it just, it was kind of. It was more frustrating than it was inspiring. Like I just never got anything done. I didn't have any money. So you just clean things. I just go in like clean things. And I'd buy an anti sway bar and I'd put it somewhere and it'd get stolen or something. Like it was a mess. And at some point somebody had a crazy 240Z almost kind of race car. The kind of cars I complain about setting off car alarms and big open pipes in the back. Big souped up Triple Sideraft Weber McCuneys or 44 Mikunis or whatever, the big old thing. And he was just selling it. And I kind of realized that all the work and all the stuff and all whatever I was trying to do with my car that was never really happening was kind of his car. And I ended up like selling a motorcycle I had and selling some other stuff, whatever. And I bought this car that was more of a race car than it was a street car. And it was super loud and it was like kind of a mess. And I didn't even know what I was doing. But I was like, I gotta have this car, like so cool and so fast and so whatever. And I bought it. And the night. Well, Max Apata, you can figure this one out. A. I don't know if you ever found any garage picture or anything, but what is it then when we do find it? Like when I go, I know we got this picture somewhere, we got this thing somewhere. And then everyone goes, nah, it's not around. Well, as of now, from all the searching, we've done. We have not found it. But there's still a possibility that if we continue searching for it after the show, which we will, that we will stumble across it. How come we don't? Do we not like label stuff? Or as we go through stuff. Do we label stuff? We label stuff. When the pictures are uploaded, they were not labeled. So as we're going, we're labeling. All right. Or as we're scrubbing through these files. Donnie would have tons and tons of pictures. I hope you're all sitting down. He would never label anything or label it correctly or do anything like that. So we have to just fumble through big piles of. Of old pictures. But as long as we're doing it, Max Pata. As long as we're labeling it as we go, then so be it. Yeah, it is a mission to. I had some old picture of the garage and the car sort of sitting in it and you can kind of see it, but it doesn't really matter. It's an old orange Z car that was all hopped up. That'd be a worthwhile project for someone to spend on a day or two on go through pictures. Not gonna happen. Car. Nobody did high school. Nobody will ever do it. Football. Nobody will ever do it. Okay, it would be worthwhile. And I have talked about it a few times, but nobody's ever going to do that now. That's just the way. That's the new world order. Either way, I do have a bunch of stuff that's on vhs. I don't know, Letterman appearances and stuff like that on Space Ghost or something like that. And I do want to get them all ripped and put on a hard drive and labeled and all that. That'll be a very long multi layered discussion for me to have for many years. That's what I've learned. Yeah, well, don't look forward to it being done. Look forward to overhearing many arguments I'm going to have about getting it done one of these days. So I will. I'll probably just hire somebody and have them do it and I think that'll be the way to go. But anyway, when did the movie Pretty in pink come out? 86. 85, I'm guessing. 80 something. Gotta find out the month because we went to the premiere at the Grauman Chinese Theater. I was living with Donnie. We're in our crappy apartment. February 86th. February 86. Early ish. 86. And this was about that time and they were having the big premiere at the Grauman's Chinese or one of Those places on Sunset or Hollywood Boulevard. And we're like, we're gonna take. We're gonna take the Batmobile, the big car, the big loud car, and we're gonna drive it over there. Now Max Zapata, if you look at the Avalon, where Paul Bryan is gonna do his 10 year benefit over there that you guys are invited to, will be there as well. It was on vine. And the parking lot that I parked on was up the hill. It's toward the freeway. It's a small little grade right there. Yeah. To go up the hill. There was a bank on the corner and had like a bank parking lot. We just parked there. So we just parked there up the hill on the same side as the Avalanche. And it was many, many. I have many vague recollections from that night. One is we saw Pretty in Pink at the Grauman's Chinese Theater. Molly Ringwald sat behind us. She had chipmunk jowls, a jaw. Because she had her wisdom teeth removed two days earlier or a day earlier. And I remember at the time not being a publicist or in show business or anything, but I was a carpenter. But I was like, why don't you wait till after the premiere? Two days later? Yeah, yeah, do the premiere and then get your wisdom teeth removed. Or do it a week earlier. And I let the swelling go down. But she was very swollen from having her wisdom teeth removed. You wouldn't want to walk the red carpet that way. And being that fair skinned, I'm sure she lit up like a Christmas tree with the rosacea. So it was weird. I remember that thought. I remember watching the movie and kind of going, okay, like was it. You know, it was fine. And not a James Spader fan. I made this deck of seeing it for the first time in 2015. Oh, wow. So that didn't land. Didn't land the punch. I had that old imprinting Harry Dean Stanton. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. You saw when you're a certain age. So then we. Then we went over to the Avalon, which was the palace back then, and we went. You have a statement from Alan Hunter about the party? I found an article about Alan Hunter talking about the premiere party at the Palace. From mtv? Yeah, from mtv. He hosted it. Oh, he did, yeah, along with Fay Waybill of the Tube. Fee. Fee. Excuse me way Bill. Yeah, and he opened lead singer from the Tubes. Yeah. So loads of celebrities there like Justine Bateman. Oh, why did they mention me? Michael Keaton that have a Carpenter series. Michael J. Fox and the film stars. He Interviewed John Anderson from yes, and Andy Summers from the Police, who seemed somewhat confused about being there. He remembers Annie Potts and Jon Cryer there talking about nerds ruling the world someday. Everyone delightful. And he had fun talking to John Hughes at the party. And that was. What. What is the date that must have been. I. As I recall, it was a week. It was either weekday or it was a Friday, and I had to go to work on Saturday. I'm curious what the date was or if there's a date on that article. But anyway, no date on that article. Okay, so those premieres are usually midweek. Yeah, it was midweek. Especially because they don't want to take up the theater for a weekend. I had to go to work, and my work was not sitting in a cubicle being hungover. My work was like digging ditches. But we went there, and I remember a couple things. So we got to the party. It was raining. It didn't rain out here very often, but, boy, when it rained, it rained. And it was raining. And we parked up on the hill, and we parked in this parking lot. Maybe Maxapata can find the street version of it. And we went down, and me and Donnie were just walking around, and he was my designated driver. So I was like, I'm getting wasted. And for some reason, I also remember I was drinking greyhounds. Like, I was drinking vodka and grapefruit juice, and I was just pounding them. And it was a weird. I have a couple thoughts. Like, we're upstairs into whatever room, and it's like, there's celebrities around, and Katherine Bach was there. Daisy Duke was there. And it was like, daisy Duke is there in the height of her powers. And she was, like, kind of walking around. And I said to Donnie, like, go talk to her. Go say hi. And he's like, no, I don't want to say hi. And I was like, yeah, go up. Go up to her. Whatever. And she. The guy with eight greyhounds on him is encouraged. He's a sober guy. Come on, bro. And she had, like, something on her shoulder, like a piece of yarn or string or something from her dress was, like, sitting on her shoulder and kind of weird. And I just remember him going up to her and going like, oh, you got something on. And he pulled off. And she just gave that look, like, what? Yeah, what? And he was like, oh, you had something. She's like, whatever. And she, like, walked away. It was one of those things like. Like, you talk yourself into it. Like, oh, there's. There are people just like you and me. She probably liked it. Engaging on it was the worst. Oh, no, no, no. It was the worst. So I got utterly wasted. And before you know it, people had cleared out. After all, it was a weeknight and the rains really started to kick in. I'm seeing Thursday night. Thursday night, and it was just brutal. And I started looking around for Donnie, and he'd met himself a gal and they'd left, and, you know, it was. No one had cell phones or texting or anything like that. Like, he may have looked around and went, I don't know where he is. He just split with her. And he split. And I was just left behind, utterly wasted. I didn't have money. I didn't Uber. There's no. I didn't know how we. I wouldn't begin my entire beginning life. I wouldn't know how. Call a cab. Like, I thought that was something from a movie. Like, what do you mean, call a cab? Call me a cab. Who could call a cab? No one has money. No one has a credit card. No one has a phone. Like, how are you gonna call a. So did you find the street or tell Gary to help you with this street thing? Yeah, we'll show you the map. This is the map view. So you see the Avalon in the middle there with the big. I just want to see the street. Get Gary to do the street thing. We walk up the street. You see the thing on the thing, the Google view? Yeah, wherever you want on the map. We can go into a street view and see which way you want to go. Go up the hill. Well, you know the way I want to go, I want to go up the hill on the same side of the street as the thing, which is up the hill. And on the same side of the street is the thing. So there'sy around this parking lot now, or just keep going up the hill, but either way, you go up the hill. And there I left this place and it was pouring. Oh, yeah, they got the parking lots all closed off now, but it was pouring. It was pouring, pouring rain. And I walked out and I walked up the hill and there was my car in the parking lot, and I was utterly wasted. And I was standing in the driving rain. Had no umbrella or rain, anything, gear of any kind. I was just standing there in the middle of the night. There was my Z car and there was a cop car, and it was parked right next to the Z car. So it was a completely empty parking lot. It was the middle of the night. It was teeming rain. There was no shelter. Anything else going On I was like, I'm going to go in the 7:11 and hang out for 10 minutes. There was nothing was open. There was nothing around. There was just my car and an empty parking lot that hold 100 cars. But right next to my car was parked a cop car. And the windows were fogged over, and I couldn't tell. There was no lights on on the cop car. It was just parked. And I just stood there in the driving rain, just staring at my car and staring at the cop car. And I was going, why is that guy? What is going on? I could not. I mean, I was drunk as shit, but I still could still process things. Why is he there? When you're that drunk, do you ever feel like, is he there for me? Or this must run through your mind, at least briefly. I was there and I was thinking, is he waiting for whoever gets into this car? Like, so at some point it was raining so hard. I just climbed into the car and shut the door and I just sat there. And he's trying to, like, look out my window, but I couldn't. My window was like, fogged up. And his window was fogged up. And I was like, so this guy's waiting until I start the car. And once I start the car, he's gonna hit the rollers. Like, he's gonna get me on a dui. If I start it, I can't die. I could say I'm sleeping in the car or something like that, but he's waiting. And I just sat there and I just sat there. I had to go dig ditches. The next morning, the pouring, pouring rain. And I just remember, just sit. What felt like forever, not having being frozen. I had no idea what to do. I still was trying to figure out, like, what is this? What would the cops business be if they were there? I don't know if they're in the car. I don't know if they're out of the car. If they're out of the car, where are they and what are they doing? And why would they park in the middle of a parking lot? Why would they park right next to my car? And I just sat there and sat there and sat there. And eventually I was like, I don't know what to do. And I just fired up the car, and the car was loud as shit, threw it in reverse, just like started creeping off. And it was raining so hard. It probably kind of helped me because I was so drunk, but everyone was going like 10 miles an hour because it was pouring. And, like, on the freeway and the freeway was like flooded and I was just trying to use the bumps to like stay in lane, but everyone was going so slow and everyone was like avoiding puddles and whatever. Eventually got the. In your recollections. They were avoiding puddles. Yeah. Avoiding you. Avoiding me. Eventually I got the car home, yacked in the bathtub. I think I remember pretty clearly. How was disc jigging the next day? Oh, God. Again, you guys who do the. Oh, I'm so. I work for an insurance company and I showed up all a bachelor party. I was all hungover and I got my Alka Seltzer and I put my sunglasses on and lean back in my chair a little. That's fine. Digging ditches is brutal. Brutal. To this day, I have no idea what went on with that cop. But I do remember that party and I do remember being at the. What was the palace and is now the Avalon. The Avalon. Well, you have to commemorate that event in November. That's what I'm talking about. The second drug is not your life. That's what I'm talking about. All right, quick break. Back with the news and Gina Grad. Give me the news with Grat. News with Gina Grad. Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina Grad. Troubled in the Middle East. Celebrity drunk meltdown. See News with Gina. Gina. The News with Gina Grad. Well, Joe Biden has officially entered the 2020 presidential race. As expected, the former vice president joined the very crowded field of Democratic hopefuls. I believe there's 20 now. He released a campaign video overnight in which he declared that, quote, we are in the battle for the soul of this nation. Here's a clip. I believe history will look back on four years of this president and all he embraces as an aberrant moment in time. But if we give Donald Trump eight years in the White House, he will forever and fundamentally alter the character of this nation, who we are. And I cannot stand by and watch that happen. Donald has some thoughts about that. He tweeted he should have said Obama's thing was, we're three days away from fundamentally changing this nation. He picked an unfortunate term there because fundamentally changing. When Obama was taken over, I think he did some comment like, we're three days away from fundamentally changing this nation. And he meant that in a good way for the positive, but he said fundamentally changing. And I guess he meant it for the bad way, but he was just with the guy who said fundamentally change. And so he should have never used that phrase. And I don't Know, I don't blame him. I kind of blame the people who load the teleprompter. Like, go, like, wait a minute, your guys had fundamentally changed. Like, hey, not. Who do you think got too clever by half? Like, oh, this is a callback to, you know, the old thing. I wish all these mistakes were like, too smart for the room. I always think it's like somebody dropped the ball. Well, Trump had some thoughts about this. He tweeted, welcome to the race, Sleepy Joe. I only hope you have the intelligence, long in doubt, to wage a successful primary campaign. It'll be nasty. You'll be dealing with people who truly have some very sick and demented ideas. But if you make it, I'll see you at the starting gate. Oh, wait a minute. You gotta get the theme from Petticoat Junction. Max Apata. Cause we call him Uncle Joe Biden, right? Most Uncle Joe. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't mean it says it on his birth certificate. No, I mean his nickname is Uncle Joe. Yeah, Uncle Joe is what we call Uncle Joe. Brian Biden. He's gotta play this theme. Trump does. Petticoat Junction. Petticoat Junction. Remember that TV show? I know of it, but people pop out of the bad TV show from the 60s, 70s or whatever. But is it the same time as Hee Haw, one of the characters? Well, everything was the same time as Hee Haw because Hee haw ran for 31 years. He Haw ran for 1914 to 1989. It was crazy. But, but in Petticoat Junction they got the song and they go, and there's Uncle Joe. He's a moving kind of slow like there's a low energy. Petticoat Junction. Well, I'll play it for you. Just dawned on me. Come ride the little train that is rolling down the tracks to the junction Forget about your cares it is time to relax at the junction Junction Lots of curves. You bet. When you get to the junction, Petticoat Junction. There's a little hotel called the Shady Rest at the junction. Petcoat Junction. It is run by Kate. Come and be her guest. At the junction Here it comes and that circle. Joe, he's a moving kind of slow. At the junction Junction. Yeah, that'll work its way in. Yeah, there's someone in the Trump campaign. Come on now, start watching TV Land. Let's go. Well, he's 76. He's four years older than Trump. And if he was elected, he'd be the oldest ever elected president. And of course, same would be for Bernie. Yeah, Bernie would seem the Oldest. Even if he's chronologically the oldest. All right, so we'll see what happens. Well, the Hill reports that President Trump's former attorney, Michael Cohen, reportedly told comedian Tom Arnold that he is not guilty of some of the charges he pled guilty to and expressed frustration at the length of his sentence and the lack of support from those in Washington. In recordings of a call from late March Arnold provided to the Wall Street Journal, Cohen says he didn't actually commit income tax evasion or bank fraud related to home equity loans. Here's. Here's the clip. My business, I lost, you know, everything. My insurance, my bank accounts. All for. All for what? All for what? Because Trump, you know, had an affair with a porn star. That's really what this is about. There's no tax evasion. And the HELOC. I have an 18% loan to value on my home. Right. Could there be a heloc? If that's right. That's right. Right. That's something. It's a lie. All right, so he says that he admitted to doing much of this to keep prosecutors from going after his wife, saying that he wasn't going to let her get dragged through the mud. He added to the lament saying he never thought the judge was going to throw a three year sentence at him. And Cohen still admits to the campaign finance crimes he committed in arranging payments to Stormy Daniels. But other than that, no. Tom Arnold is the devil. Did they get him on a. Was there finance? The payments to Stormy Daniel were a campaign finance. Well, that's what he. That's what he admitted to and is true. According to Michael Cohen, there was a bunch of charges that weren't true. Bank fraud related and income tax evasion related and home equity loan related that he. It sounds like he was trying to take the bullet for his wife. I don't think who's gonna end up worse off, Stormy Daniels or Michael Avenatti. Like five years from now. Avenatti. Stormy would just be what she is. Maybe a little better than she was before. I had a writing tired. Porn. I don't know. It's kind of weird, but she's not. But now we don't think of her as that. Now we're supposed to think of her as a crusader. Yeah, exactly. She might be embraced by a certain. Remember. Remember what? Auntie. What the hell's her name? Maxine Waters. Which she said. And if we can't do it, we're gonna let Stormy do it for us. Stormy's gonna be in the View. She'll be Hosting the View. I feel like we use those people for as long as we need them, and then when we're done with them, they lose a lot of that, whatever that is. You underestimate the Kardashians at your own risk. I don't feel that way about the Kardashians, but I don't think Stormy Daniels, I don't think anybody politically. We use people and then we're done with them. And when we're done with them, we're done with them. Y. Christina Blasey Ford or whatever, we're done with her. Once we're done, we're done, and I think we're done with her. All right, let me hit this real quick, then tease your next story. What are you gonna talk about? A long awaited execution finally took place. Oh, good. I love an uplifting story. Trains that's wounded. Let's talk a little about safety. That's right, you stop because trains can't stop. It can be frustrating. You're running late. You're coming from a meeting with Michael Mann on the west side. You're trying to make some hay while the sun shines. Get stuck at that railroad crossing, you have an impulse, like, I'll just drive around that little arm and ignore the little flashing light and jump the line. Don't ever do that. Trains are going faster than you expect. They can take a mile to stop, especially when they're moving. And that ain't the little steamer going to Petticoat Junction. These are rails. They're moving, man. So let's not get your car all balled up to be a hunk of metal. Let's take care of ourselves. Do not think about jumping that line. The signals are on. The train is on its way. Take your time. Return safe to your home. Or God forbid, your kids are in your car. Let's get everyone home safe. Just remember when stop, because trains cannot. All right, Gina, what do we got? Well, John William King, a 44 year old convicted more than 20 years ago of a racially inspired murder, was executed Wednesday night in Texas. Oh, white guy. White guy with a fatal dose of pentobarbital. Jesus, Gina, you said it was gonna be a, you know, feel good thing. Yeah, it is pretty feel good, actually. I'm sure you. You'll remember this case. The execution, this is in Huntsville, took place after the Supreme Court denied King's petition for a stay. Prior to his execution, King released this statement. Capital punishment is them without capital. Get the punishment. Now let's bring. I might make a license plate frame out of that, let's recall what he was in prison for back in 1998. King and two other white men offered a ride to James Byrd Jr. But then beat him, spray painted his face, chained him to the back of a pickup truck and dragged him for three miles until he was dead. Around the same time as Matthew Shepard, actually. I think that was a few months later. Pretty tough time in our history. And 20 years. I thought Texas was known for these. For getting speedy. Yeah, just kill everyone. As soon as we figure out they're guilty, they're guilty. Shepard was killed by maybe his boyfriend and maybe a drug thing, and it just got picked up by the gay and lesbian community as a hate crime. But it wasn't. That's one of the things. This is a different direction for the Laramie Project. You can look it up, but, well, it was too good to let go. Like, hey, gay guy was chained to a pole and beaten to death or something. Good hate crime. File it. Moving on. His story was drug guy, boyfriend and drugs or something. But it wasn't just a straight ahead, that guy's gay. Let's chain him to the. Whatever. But this guy did this. This was as horrendous as it could possibly get. As horrendous as it could possibly get. So why don't we kill these guys earlier? Thank you. Because I did a little looking into it, and from what I read, it takes a million dollars basically, to keep somebody on death row. A million. All the appeals before they get put down, right? A million dollars. And also, why should they be allowed for the next 20 years to eat the exact same food that was served to me at Walter Reed elementary? Pretty crazy in 1979. Probably one of the, you know, lunch ladies who called in. Mm. Good riddance. Well, this week on Empire, Jussie Smollett made his final appearance of the season. He was suspended from the show, as you know, following a 16 charge. Indictment later dropped. The future, though, for him hangs in the balance now. The show's plotline left open the possibility that his character returns. Meanwhile, his co stars wrote a letter demanding that the producers bring him back. They said because. Is this dude gonna skate? Get, get, get. Can we. I don't know. Are you guys with me? See if you can find the Matthew Shepard story. Max Apata. That's. Are you guys with me? That whatever you're up to, if you're not in jail, you should just be allowed to work. I mean, this thing where it's like, well, he was, you know, whatever this pilot did at A party, you know, on a. On a weekend. Now, we don't want him working for our airline. Like, I don't know if whatever they did doesn't affect whatever he's doing, especially in acting, who cares? I mean, by the way, everybody is a moral degenerate who does acting. Come on, where's the bar? You know what I mean? Okay, we don't like him, but whatever that's between him in Chicago or him and his fans or him and his God, or he's got to make it right or restitution or he's going to sue Mark Gerrigo's or the guys from Nigeria are going to sue him or whatever it is. But you get to go to work. I did this part where you have to stop working. Everyone has to get shit canned from everything all the time. I'm not drawing a straight line between a guy. Guy works in the defense industry and he goes home and he's an alcoholic and he's a crappy dad and he's verbally abusive to his stepdaughter, and then he goes to Lockheed at 8am on Monday morning and he starts getting back to work. What is that? I mean, look, maybe you don't want him living next to you, or maybe you feel bad for a stepdaughter, but if he's not being criminally charged and he's not being incarcerated and he's not had DUIs or whatever, it didn't stick. Whatever it is we wanted to do with him, it got dropped. Maybe it shouldn't have been dropped, but it got dropped. So then you go back to work. Especially when your work is playing somebody else. Yeah, you know what I mean? You still hate Jesse, but like his character, if you're sitting there next to Michael Strahan doing Good morning, whatever, well, then it's kind of you. And you can kind of go, well, you're screwing up the brand or whatever it is, but you're just an actor. Yeah, well, that's exactly what his cast members think. They said, we stand with Jussie Smollett and ask that our co star be brought back for our sixth season. Meanwhile, though, ratings have plummeted since the arrest. And according to the New York Post, it's quite possible Smollett doesn't return because Fox cancels the show. Ratings couldn't have plummeted because of all this, right? Well, you'd think, if anything, they'd go up because you didn't watch Empire. And now I'm kind of curious. Well, he's aware of It. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Max, Pat, make a note. Have me cast in a predominantly black television show. Because if I ever go Jussie Smollett or Bill Cosby, I want them all to stand by me. Rally. You know what I mean? Why do you. Don't roll that way. Like, you know, as soon as Andy Dick got out of line, everyone in news radio was like, fuck that guy. Good luck. You're on your own, Charlie Sheen. We got Ashton Kutcher waiting outside. That's right. But I feel like if you get in a black ensemble, they stand with you. Yeah, well, we're gonna find out with you. Write that down. I'm gonna start auditioning later today. Black Ish. With Adam Carrillo. That's right. I want them standing with me. Cause Cosby cast kind of did that with him, Right? Oh, what's her name? His wife did. Alicia. Phylicia Rashad. Yeah. And there was a couple. I think a couple of kids did, too. Yeah. Rudy. That's right. Susan Knight. Pullman. Yeah. Wow. Brad. I have no idea. Damn it. You want that? All right, one more. Well, unemployment is historically low, so McDonald's is targeting a different set of workers right now. They are now targeting the elderly. The fast food chain said on Wednesday that it's partnering with the AARP to help attract workers who are 50 and over. Not the. They're elderly. That demographic makes up 11% of their workforce. But because they can't get young people to work the early shifts for breakfast and lunch, they're going to have the AARP crowd come in and relieve them. They'd have to get upset, an alarm, have some discipline. They're not into it. Yeah, we were walking down San Francisco and walking down the coast and heading toward the Golden Gate Bridge Ridge, passed In N Out Burger hiring. The numbers were 1684 an hour to 1884 an hour. They always pay pretty high. Historically, they're things. It's a fast food place for over 15 bucks an hour. And that's what I'm saying. Uncle Joe's moving kind of slow at the junction. Just let the market man don't cap it at 15. And I know that's not what you're saying, but, I mean, you cannot cap it. And you can't put a basement on it either. That In N Out Burger in that spot needs people, and 12 bucks an hour ain't doing it. They're not attracting people for 12 bucks an hour. I'm sure they'd be happy to pay $12 an hour, but they're not getting any applications and they're not getting any at 15. They're going over 15. There were, I think it was Max bad. We saw it was like 16 and 18 bucks an hour over there in San Francisco. Right? Yeah, right. Right there on the window. Yeah, they put it right out. They need people. That's the market. It's sorting it out. All right. You want to bring it home? Sure. I'm Gina Grad and that's the news. Gina, Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad. Alright, Max, Pat, did you find any Matthew Shepard news? Yeah. So the story is these two guys pick him up, they lure him out of his truck pretending to be gay, and then they tie Matthew Shepard up to a fence pistol, whip him, torture him, set him a fire, leave him to die. And then in the trial, the guys, the two guys, one of their girlfriends says, yeah, they did it because of how one of the guys, quote, felt about gays. And then, but then the lawyer said that they used, they put forward what's called a gay panic defense, which is when you, you, you act, you, you have temporary insanity because of same unwanted, same sexual advances. So that's what they did. That didn't work. So then he just says, look, they're driven by greed and violence, not sexual orientation, but they were still sentenced to two lifetimes in prison. And yeah, that's the version of it, but I'll find you an alternative version of it for next week or that has some of that in it. It takes a deeper dive into it. There's more to it than straight away gay bashing, which was initially reported Baldy Wood's gonna be doing the Avengers next week. So look out world. And until next time, San from football, NBA, college basketball as well. BetOnline has NHL, MMA and championship boxing. All your betting needs in one place. Head to Betonline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun. Make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with bet online. Bet online. The game starts here. Good day, Gina. Graham. Good day to you, Bald Bryan. How you feeling? A lot of that. A lot of weekends of that. But you did get out the fills. I did not. Oh, well, that's weird. Yeah, that's funny because Christie was actually sick. She came home sick from work and we're like, we're not going to. I emailed him and said, thanks a lot, but no thanks. Oh. So I was like, oh, last I checked in with you, I Thought you were going. You sounded devastated when you found out I was going, so I figured we were gonna check out at some point. You know what I mean? I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example. Can I give you an example? I'm all ears. I'm a car guy, Okay. I work very hard, and part of the reason that I got into comedy and work as many weekends as I do is to satiate my lust for cars. And I really appreciate. Supports the habit. It does. And I really appreciate the mechanics and the engineering and all that kind of stuff. And so picture a guy like me or just anyone in my vicinity who worked his tail off his whole life, built a business from the ground up, finally squeezed the trigger and got themselves the McLaren Mercedes. And the next thing you know, they pull up to the stoplight, and there's Paris Hilton, and she's got a fucking lap dog, and she's sitting right next to him in the exact same car. It diminishes what he's done. Got it? In this example, I'm Paris Hilton with the laptop. No, you're the laptop. I'm the laptop? Yes. Okay. I'm in the. You've diminished what I've accomplished. All right, Andrew. Understood. Andrew is here. I love Andrew. Hello, Andrew. Hey. How's it going? Good. He's a poker shark. He's a sweet, sweet spirit. And I've said I love him because he has the same thing that my son has. Whenever I come into the other office, and Andrew. Andrew is one of the guys we make the movies with. I go, andrew. And he goes, yes. And he does it exact same way my son does. And it's not because you sound alike. It's because you both have a good, nice spirit to you. All right, so Andrew, you've been working on the Newman doc. You're working on the next documentary, 24 Hour War. I got a stick, a memory stick. I think we're about 55 minutes into the next one. Yeah, just in the second half. All right, don't tell me who wins. We got to talk about Andrew and his eating. But your overall impressions. Are you enjoying yourself? You learning things? Yeah, definitely. This was my first job, really, out of school. I moved here in October of 2013 and started in November of 2013. Where from? Beverly, Massachusetts, huh? Yeah, right near Boston. Interesting. And on a. Now how's it like? You can be honest. Is it okay working with me? Yeah, yeah, I enjoy it. I love the defeated gaze that goes with that question. No, I think the General consensus is I'm a dick. I think that could just be my wife talking for other people. I mean, not to me, I guess would be the thing. Maybe other people feel that way. Yeah, well, Andrew's one of the good ones, so he does not feel my wrath. But Andrew's over there with Nate and Brian, who's with a wise. Well, who's also has a very bizarre palette. And they are working on the films. And I'm sort of busting in and out of there, giving a couple of lectures, notes, and then go mussing with the cars and the. And it's back out again and over here, back and forth all day. But Andrew's over there handling the business. Andrew, I started noticing, I realized that food is sort of the weather of today's conversation. Back in the day when you didn't have much to talk about with the stranger at the bus stop, you'd go, that's a nice day, huh? Oh, yeah. They say rain's coming. Oh, we need. We need it, you know, but for this time of year. Yeah, yeah. And like, a lot of that. And I realize food has sort of taken that place where people talk about the Kobe beef food truck, or have you tried. Or do you like. And you find yourself and then I think it's an attempt for human beings to bond. I don't think it's conscious. I think you just sit there and you go, have you tried a. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, I love that place. Oh, you eat there? I love that. Well, how many meals do you eat alone? I mean, like dinners. You know what I mean? Like, it's a very social thing, either with a spouse or friends or whoever. So started talking to Andrew. Now, Andrew, what do you eat for lunch? I mean, now you bring a lunch to work? Yeah, I put like a Tupperware full of regular Cheerios and then I sprinkle in some frosted Cheerios to kind of mix it up with a dangerous liquid. Well, on the edge. Yes. He says it. And then a tangerine with that. Do you wash it down with like a Gerber Graduate? I only drink water. I only drink water. Then we started digging a little with Andrew and I'd say, like, well, yeah, but you like cherries, don't you? Everyone likes cherries. And he'd go, I don't know. Never tried one. And I'd go, well, where do you come down on avocados? Guacamole. Never had. But it kept going. It kept going, right? Yeah, There's a pretty long list, right. Andrew also does a Thing, which I will say, not as annoying as what Mike August does. When we go to the kebab place to eat lunch, he has to eat everything in its entirety. And then it's in order, section by section, in order. So what I do, the best part about the kebab, to me, or just sort of life, is I get the piece of pita, I put the piece of skewered beef in it. Then I ladle on a little hummus. Then I grab a slice of tomato and some onion from the salad, and I fold the whole thing up. Yeah. Into a little sleeping bag. And I take one big bite, attempting to get the proportions correct for all. Andrew eats his entire salad, Then he eats every bit of white rice. He courses out his boring meal, and then he eats the beef skewers. But he does not take a bite of rice and a bite of beef. To me, peculiar. What do you say? Beef is too much all on its own. The bite of rice. It's nice to get a little carb in there, all broken up. Still, not as bad as what I just experienced with Mike August. I forgot he ordered, like, eggplant parmesan as a sort of appetizer for me and him before. Well, of course, Mike's great because we had a half hour to kill before doing a live show on the East Coast. So we walked down the street, it was snowing. We went into a little restaurant and Mike did the. Oh, we're not eating dinner. Cause we gotta do a show in 20 minutes and we already ate a ton of Polish food. Ten seconds later, he's got a huge plate of eggplant parmesan and he's viciously cutting everything up in advance. And it's like he's scrambling it. It's a weird. Like, he's. It's weird. It's like he's giving his eggplant parm a lobotomy. Like, it's a lot of, like, very cutting. And I'm like, I wanted some too, Mike, but it feels like you've got your stink all over all of it. He had to cut it all up. All it does is get cold quicker. And if it's something like meat or chicken or whatever, it loses the juice. The juice spills out. I don't know why he insists on this, but it's one of the many Mike things. So now Mike does that. Andrew eats everything in sequential order. But then we started talking about stuff like, what kind of burrito do you like? A beef burrito, chicken burrito, bean burrito. And would Be like, never had a burrito? What? Have you ever had a burrito? I've had, like, half of one. It wasn't compelling enough to. If you took the number of burritos I've eaten and put them end to end, you could circumnavigate the globe. All right. How old are you? I'm 27. Wow. Yeah, he's the superpower at this point. He grew up on, like, banquet chicken strips and Kool Aid or something. Like, what would you eat? What was your thing? Well, I had the same lunch for school every day from, like, first grade straight through 10th or 11th grade. And it was just saltines with a little bit of peanut butter in between. So two of those little sandwiches, a little thing of orange juice, and then a granola bar. So I ate that every day. My mom would just pack that for me every day. The conversations we have, honestly, honestly with Andrew are when we go, you like the green olive or the black olive? Never tried an olive. Wow. When's the first time you've tried an olive? Oh, it was when I was first working here, and we went to the Cuban place down the street. That's your first olive? Yeah, and it was an accident. I thought it was just maybe a large pea in the grand scheme of things. You're like Nell, Like Jodie Foster's character. He's just a feral child. He's never seen an olive. I don't. I was batting it like a cat. Would you. Would you eat pizza? Yeah, I eat pizza, but I take the cheese off. Oh, that's right. Takes the best part off. Why do you hate food? It's like fucking pizza bread. He likes cheese, but not melted cheese. Yeah, I'll eat, like, a slice of American cheese. That's understandable. Yeah, you'll eat a slice of fake cheese, but it'll peel the real cheese off the pizza. I see what appears to be a wedding ring on your hand. Are you, in fact, married? What did you serve at your wedding? I ate steak. We had steak there, so, yeah. Oh, look at you branching out. I should tell you guys. Joe Coy and Mark Duplass and Jay Moore and Dana Gould and Vinny Tortorich are all coming up, by the way, on the show this week. Today, unfortunately, we just got stuck with Andrew. I went to. We're gonna. Now, Chris, are you gonna bring food out or what's your plan? Yeah, we're gonna present Adam with the food, and I mean, Andrew with the food. And you. You are going to guess if he will eat it. Or not. I spent it's good pod like the whole evening at Anna Faris house last night doing her podcast, which was really, really interesting. And bought a little mangria, brought some ingria. We got a little lubed up and then we started talking. You know when people's characters are just who they are or comes pushing through, it's just Anna Fairs could not be anything else than Anna in real life. Super Anna Pharisee. Yes, yes. Super Anna Pharisees. Super sweet, super kind, had a great time and I think that's gonna be available. It'll be out there pretty soon. Is that technique? No. I went and did her podcast. Yeah. Is it like theme oriented or is it just bullshitting back and forth? It's a little relationship with some calls, but just some sort of general life discussion. But very, very interesting. No exaggeration. Of all the very funny, talented female comedian, comedic actresses out there. She's number one for me. She's my favorite comedic actress. Oh, well, I'll pass that along to her next. Speak to her. She is. And she's so. I don't mean sensitive in a negative way. Sonny's sensitive in a negative way? No, no, not in a negative way. He's outside the room. No. Are you kidding me? No. Sonny. We went for a walk today and there were a couple of dogs that were barking at us like through the bottom of the fence. It's always funny. What do they want, Father? Dogs are funny because their snouts are 4 or 5 inches long. So they can kind of shove them through knotholes and under fences and stuff. Chain link fences. And they can bark at you and be on your side of the Mason Dixon, but still be on their side of the line, you know, but it's weird. And anyway, at some point the gate pushed open and the two dogs wandered out and we'd stopped and I was walking Philly Cheesesteak and Sonny and Phil's. The dog's nuts. Like, if a dog's barking at him, he lunges at him to play. He's a huge, you know, he's 80 pound puppy who wants to run at anything that's coming at him. And there's. Dogs are like six months old or something. He's like five. Yeah. And the dog's growling and barking and he. Phil's lunging at him. And so I'm hanging on to Phil and we're up the street and these two dogs come wandering out of this corner house. And I know it's a nice guy who lives there because we went Caroling this year. That's right, that's right. And that was one of the houses where Natalia was banging on the door 9, 10 in the evening, by the way. I had to cut it off at a certain point and like he'd open the door and she's like caroling away. The guy turns up, be very friendly. His two dogs come out onto his lawn and next to the street. And Sonny stops and he goes, we gotta go to that house and we gotta go tell the owner that their dogs are out. And I said, yeah, but those dogs were just barking at us. And then if you come up the front doorway and ring the doorbell, those two dogs may go bananas on you. And he's. He just. We're about a hundred feet away and he just stood in the street and he had insane concern about these two dogs. Why the owner should know what could possibly happen at a certain point. We took a step toward the dogs and the dogs both barked at us as we took a step back toward the house. They didn't seem to want to leave the lawn. They weren't stepping out in the street. They were just staying on the lawn. They weren't runners and they weren't runners. And I just said, you know, Sonny, I got filly here. I don't trust those dogs for you to go walking across their lawn to the front door without one of them nipping you. And he's like, yeah, but what if they go on the street? And then he said, well, the other street's a dead end, so if they go that way, there's no traffic at least. But he really just stood there in the street as a nine year old, wildly concerned, contemplating about someone he didn't know that's good in snakes. And two dogs he didn't know that were just barking at him. He just has them. That. That instinct. And Anna, or aunt, well, it's weird. She's aunt's Anna. I've heard Anna. Oh, it's Anna, but I'm probably wrong. It's Anna. Anyway. Sweet. Totally sweet. She would have gone to that door too. Completely sweet. Yes. So that was kind of fun. Chris, her famous husband, was on location somewhere. So it was just the two of us. Yeah, it was fun. Horrid. Yeah. So Andrew. All right, here we go. Will Andrew eat it? Because he's picking. His lunch is plain Cheerios. Eats pizza without cheese because he eats hot dogs from the middle out. Must have a mental disease because he's. His taste buds are so f. He won't eat a pie because. Cause he's Andrew's eating is so weird. Like a toddler who is hiding pretty good. All right, nice. Thanks, Mike. I guess. And Dick Banks. So Andrew's all over the road. Yes. He likes plain hot dogs. He really eats them from the middle. Do you cut them and eat them from the middle or you like. Nah, it takes about two bites. Usually you just get it right from the middle and then I go out. Out towards the ends. Who hurt you? Why do you do that? Just. I didn't used to eat the end and he didn't. And thank God you're not gay, because that's a disaster. Going down on the boyfriend. I don't eat the end. I start in the middle and I don't eat the end. I don't eat the wrinkled part. And we never. We used to play this with Angie back on the terrestrial radio days, and you just never know. No, she would buck one way that you expect her to go. She'd zig when you thought she would zag. Mm. Sunny's in studio. Sonny, fix the collar. And you sure? No, he looks like a bed. We don't need this. All right, what do we got here? Will Andrew eat a hot wing? Ooh, a hot wing, I think. Is there anything special about the hot wing? Is it a jalapeno? Is it? No, I think the very fact that it's hot is going to turn him off. He loves and he. You love watching football, right, Andrew? Yep. And obviously this is staple of football. Watching you come from a part of the country where hot wings are consumed quite often. Bovada has a prop bet. How many wings will Buffalo Wild Wings sell this year? The over under is 12 million. Wow. 12 million. I'm going to say no because it has the word hot in it as well. Yeah. I say no. I think there's also an ickiness factor with it being on the bone. Oh, yeah, yeah. Three nos. I would not eat that. Yeah. Hero Chris has it on a platter. Chris is bringing it in. Somebody's gotta eat those. Oh, yeah. Oh, you will? All right, all right. Will Andrew eat celery? Ooh, super plain, super bland. Has a weird crunch, though. Another thing that he and Sunny share is, is if you take last night, Lynette's laid out in bed. I gotta handle dinner. There's some leftover McDonald's. So here come the chicken nuggets and the french fries that I heat up in the oven and then throw. What Sonny wanted was a handful of carrots on the plate. Sonny will eat the carrots. First, is there another nine year old or just human being that McDonald's, French fries, McNuggets, and then just plain carrots sitting next to it. Demolish the carrots first before you pick up one fry. That might be a first in human history. Yes, Sonny's that good. All right. That's the way to do it. Sonny. I know Andrew does. He does do vegetables. I was gonna say, when it comes down to will he eat it? This is. Do you prefer it or like you won't touch it? Yeah, I don't know. We can't define it that well. He just. I say he will eat it because it's tasteless. Now he's not gonna like the part that it has fiber in it. Like it's probably gonna go stringy. That's the stringy thing jumped out of it. But I think because it possesses no flavor, I say yes. I think the stringiness is going to completely turn him off. I'm going no. I say no also because his history doesn't lean towards vegetables like Oliver olives. So I say no, I would eat it. Prove it. Eat it right now. He wants to keep his job. Yeah, he does do vegetables. He does. He's just like Sonny. Damn it. All right, I'm up. I got two zero. You guys one and one, right? That's right. Yeah. Oh, you have one up on us. Correct. Yeah. Here we go. Will Andrew eat a lay's Classic potato chip? Now, who wouldn't eat a lay's Classic? Andrew, as you may have figured out, is very bizarre when it comes to eating. And by the way, he has no tell. Look at that face. Told you. Master poker player. Yeah, Just a regular potato chip. How can you not? Yeah, it's on there for. I mean, unless it's on there to fool us. Are you too salty? I'm gonna say no. Ooh, I'll say yes. I'm trying to get back in. I am too. And I think he'll eat it. I would not eat that. Damn it. Why? It's not substantial enough. I like ruffle chips. You like ruffles? Yeah. Discerning. I haven't found a good ruffle in California yet, though. Oh, really? It's not regional. It's a water related thing or something. They're just. They're too spread out. You like they're wavy more than ruffly. Well, they have a different mold that they use in Connecticut. Yeah, the Hannaford brand, if anybody out there wants to try it. Oh, you got your own brand of ruffled chip. So it's not a lay's ruffled chip. Hold on a second. So let me just get this straight. The taste of the potato chip, you don't. It's too thin. It's too thin. Too weird. So you guys have to realize that melted cheese, guacamole things. Textures and consistencies factor in heavily, like a child. Yeah, but potato chip texture has never been a problem for anyone on this earth. Celery texture is horrible. All right, well, let's see, Brian, this could be tough for you, and the answer is probably gonna be neither, but sun chip or Pringle? I used to eat Pringles. Kind of neither. Back in your experimental phase. Back when you're dropping a lot of peyote. It's a gateway to college thing. You're following fish. Back then, it was a different life. Where he found Jesus and stopped eating prayers. Cut his hair. All right, we're not making fun of you, Sonny. I mean, in general, yes, but not specifically. Yes. Will Andrew eat pigs in a blanket? Ooh. Only from the middle. Wow. He will eat a hot dog. I don't think he's gonna eat a. He will eat a hot dog. And he. By the way, the pig's in a blanket. I know you wouldn't put mustard on it, but with a dollop of that brown mustard on it, it's so delectable. Chris, how many total foods do we have? Two more. Two more. Two more. I need to get close. He's so bothered by the ends of a hot dog, and there's really no way around it. With a cocktail weenie. That's a good end. It's a good point. But he. He does eat, like a nine year old. Like, you have to kind of factor that in, too. The chip just threw me for. Between the chip and the Coen brothers, I don't know what to think. I'm gonna say he does eat the pig in the blanket. I think he does, too. But just to get in the game, I gotta say no. Logic tells us. His own history tells us he doesn't eat it. So, no, I would not eat that. Oh, wow. Andrew, you beautiful weirdo. And is it because of the ends? It's because of the blanket. Oh, my God. Blanket. Just think he's going to zig his ass every time. All right, Sonny, relax over there. You're not Mike. Sonny Clark. Good instinct. That that is. The blanket is just like a Pillsbury. Essentially. Yeah. I'm not a fan of Pillsbury. Now, if you tried the one from Hannah. Now, here's the one that's going to freak you out to me. I have never had a bad crescent roll. Sure. They're all the best. Like, even if they're two days old, they're just the best. Flaky. Do you like croissant? No. Oh, no way. There's nothing exotic about it. It's just dough and butter. Yeah, no, it's a texture issue. Yeah, I just. Not. I barely ever had them, too. It's a rare thing. Okay. All right. Amazing. All right, our final food. Andrew, you should never, ever, ever travel. Never travel. Never even go to an island. I went to Montreal and I lost, like, 30 pounds while I was there. Wow. No poutine for you. All right, the last one. Will Andrew eat tortilla chips? Ooh, just a pile of tortilla chips. All right, what's the score? I think I'm. I got one down. It's three to two to two. Ace, you're in the lead, so we gotta go opposite to you. I can't believe I'm saying this, but the tortilla chip might be too exotic for him. I'm gonna go. Won't eat it. Damn it. Yeah, because he's from Boston, I can't imagine he encountered tortilla chips as often as we do out here in California. Do we have to? We have to if you want to be in the game. I'd like to be in the game. All right. He will eat it. Damn it. I will eat this. I knew it. I requested rounds, but these will do. He likes round the tostitos. All right. Did we just end that whole thing in a tie? We do have a tie. Yes. Okay, tie. We have a tie, but we don't know if we have a tie breaker. Oh, Chris had a tiebreaker. All right, Chris is on point. Sonny, fix your collar, would you? Driving Daddy. That's when buttons are askew. He kind of has a James Spader thing going on right now. From the 80s. Yeah. You should be smoking in a stairwell and explaining to me that that girl's not our kind. A conversation that I still submitted never has ever transpired in a high school where I'm banging a hot young chick and I got my buddy smoking with his popped collar going, what are you doing with her? And I'm, like, having sex. Yeah. Have you seen her dad's house? No. Outside the trash. Too busy staring at my ceiling through her hair. He drives a domestic car. Yeah. Okay. It's a great sort of 80s premise, but the reality is I didn't know who had anything in high School. It was just, that chick's hot and that chick's not. That's all it ever was. Yeah, but it was. That's all that matters. I went by her dad's place at noon the other day. He was in his bathroom. Okay, so he's not really our kind. That's sad. All right, what do we got? It's a tie breaker. Will Andrew eat popcorn? Oh, my God. All right. God damn, Andrew. Super bowl is coming up today. You're just going to sit in front of the TV set, pull up a nice piece of styrofoam and just nibble on it while you. While you watch the game. Might have some ice cream. Oh, ice cream. That's right. The most insane thing is when I walk into the office and I get tag teamed by him and Brian, and I'm like, you don't like pie? And they both start getting defensive like, well, what is there to like about pie? And I'll go like, well, how about cake? What? What do you need cake for? Who needs cake? I don't get cake. And then I'm the insane person standing in between the two people. They're like, we have donuts and ice cream. What do we need cake for? No. Pie. You like zero pie? Zero pie? Just for fun. Apple pie? Nope. Pumpkin pie? Oh, definitely not. Definitely not. Banana cream? No. Chocolate cream pie. Just pudding. That would be the. If I had. You know, I'd go that way. Cake. I like vanilla cake. Of course you do. With vanilla frosting. Cheat. The worst. The cake. That is the lowest on the cake totem pole for me. What do you consider the most exotic food you like? Like, if you're going crazy? Well, we do Fun Fridays and we have milkshakes. Oh, my God. That's not true. I thought I put an end to Fun Friday. Simon's keeping him alive. Oh, no. Simon's editing. Damn him. All right. Popcorn. Nothing there. Can we implement at least if we're gonna keep Fun Friday, Employ all these guys over there at the building. They're having a good time over there on Friday. Can we at least get back to my miserable Wednesdays to offset the Fun Friday? Let's at least go back to that. I feel like you guys have dropped the ball on my miserable Wednesdays. Yeah. The greatest thing with Andrew is on his birthday to head to Denny's. Should we go on Nate? We go on Nate's birthday to Denny's. Yeah. Yep. And mine. Yeah. What'd you get? Moons over my Hammy? I could just get a hamburger. Just a Hamburger. Just meat in the bun. No. No cheese, no lettuce, no onion. No ketchup. Little ketchup now. Wow. That's the birthday meal. All right, what do we got in there? I can't even see in there. Just white, plain white popcorn. I'm just gonna say no. I don't know how we break this guy. All right, we're going. Yes. It's not smart food, right? What? Okay, then, yeah, I'll eat it. Okay, you guys share your victory. All right. I have so many questions for you, Andrew. That's what Andrew will eat. How's the 24 hour war going, Andrew? The next doc I know, Nate's getting ready to head off to Italy and England. Interview like Ferrari's bastard son. Il bastardo. Yeah. Who ran the company for a while. That's coming up, right? Yeah, in about two weeks, I think he leaves. Yeah. And so that'll be good because that's kind of the perspective we're missing at this point is Ferrari's side of everything. Yeah. This is Ferrari and Ford at le mans, the big battle that took place in the city. All right, so I'm going to go home actually tonight and I'll watch the 55 minutes that you guys have whacked together. This after Kimmel super bowl party. Oh, boy. I have some notes. Andrew, you didn't mind my notes, did you? No, no. It helps improve things. Oh, look at that. Look at that. But true. I would show up every Monday with my yellow notepad and go over a ton of shit that we need to figure. But I don't think any of it was out of the question or bizarre or just because. Right. I was gonna say, Andrew, edit out all the pink elephants. It made the process, the product better in the big picture. Yeah, yeah. It's always helpful to get the notes and know what you know needs to be improved and everything. All right. Andrew's got the kind of attitude that everyone should have. I love this kid. All right, get out of here. You're sick of me. That was Adam Krullishow 1752 with the very first will Andrew eat it? Coming up next, we have Adam Krullishow 21:44. Ian Gervitz, Vinny Tordrich, Gina Grad, Brian Bishop from August of 2017. Check it out. We watched three or four Stallone. How many Stallone movies did we watch? Are you serious? We watched Driven and what we do that night. What's his name? Who did that movie with him? We didn't see over the top. We saw Cliffhanger Driven and Specialist. God. Sorry. Specialist. The specialist. Sorry. I met Stallone because of Driven. And it was the same night I met the guy from the Stones. Mick Jagger. Was Mick Jagger in another movie? The guy from the Stones? No, Mick Jagger was in another movie. Knocks him out. Harlan. Whenever something. He was in a movie. He was in a movie that Emilio Estevez was in about racing a car. Maximum Overdrive is a movie about, like, a haunted semi truck with Emilio Estevez as well. Oh, he's in both those? Yeah. Now you gotta look it up. He did one where he was a race car driver. He took off, he went sailing in the air, and he hit the bridge and went over the top. But right before he did, he went to heaven or Purgatory or something like that. And I think Mick Jagger was in that one. Maxima. Overdrive was another. Free Jack. I was going to say Free Jack, and you're right. Mick Jagger was in it. The other one. Can you believe I was a horrible student? I can believe that I was a mediocre student, but these are both erasing. I thought they're the same movie. Maximum Overdrive is a huge, possessed, like, clown truck. I don't even know how you. How would you describe Maximum Overdrive? A possessed truck takes hold of a young couple. Like, I. I think you're the only one who can just. All right, Gary, get the description. It's a horrible movie. Get the description for Killdozer. While we're at it, see if there shouldn't be a lawsuit. Oh, it's a Steven. It's. Oh. Directed and written by Stephen King. Maximum hour drive. A group of people try to survive when machines start to come alive and become homicidal. Right. Wait, was this before or after Christmas? A little bit longer. That's just imd. Oh, it's got a longer. Maximum Overdrive. Yeah, the. All right. After a comet causes radiation, causes a radiation storm on Earth, machines come to life and turn against their makers. Holed up in a North Carolina truck stop, a group of survivors must fend for themselves against a mass of homicidal trucks. A diner cook, Bill Robinson, emerges as the unlikely leader of the pack, attempting to find an escape plan for himself and the survivors, who include his boss, Bubba Hendershire, and a newlywed couple. Based on a true story. Now, we need the one where he was a race car driver with Mick Jagger. And then we'll also need a description of Killdozer, which is almost exactly the same. That's aliens must possess a bulldozer. My question is I was at. Sorry. I was at a birthday party for a guy named Rennie Harlan. Sure. Who did Driven. We saw Cliffhanger too, right? Yeah. Yeah. So that Sly blames Rennie for that, by the way. For Cliffhanger? For Driven. He said that Driven was going to be good. Rennie has a checker. But that's when that was my meeting. You know, one of my clients took me to Rennie's birthday party as a tag along. And I met Stallone and I met Mick Jagger and I met. But I can't figure out why Mick was there. There was a lot of celebrities there. I think Mick was there because Stallone was there, because Rennie was there and they were there. Yeah. All right, so. So moments ago. Moments ago, I was over at the other shop and it turned out that a fella, elderly gentleman by the name of Ron Rice wanted to come by and see a couple cars. Who is Ron Rice? Who punched his girlfriend out in the elevator? That's right. Been back in the NFL. Yeah. This guy, probably a little less of Rice and more run. He is the founder of Hawaiian Tropic suntan lotion. Wow. And this guy was quite the partier in the 70s and 80s. Liked to travel around and be with the ladies on research trips to the islands. Yes. And enjoy himself. Cocoa butter. And right in the middle of the Newman dock. It's 10 minutes of him and his car and his bikini clad chicks at Le Mans. And the chicks are walking around in their bikinis and the car's there and Paul Newman's there and Hawaiian tropics all over the car. It's a Hawaiian Tropic car. And he's an older guy, and I think someone just thought he'd get a kick coming and seeing his car in the flesh put back after many, many paint jobs and many different liveries and sponsors, as the aforementioned. It was the Apple car sponsorship. Right after it went to. His car went to Le Mans. Came in second, first in his class. Then it went to Watkins Glen with Newman driving again. Went. Did a six hour endurance race and came in second again. Funny story. I think Bobby Rahal, who's a real professional driver and real fast, was going around it, going around Watkins Glen. And I think he was probably doing a lap, you know, five, eight seconds faster than Newman. And when you're doing an endurance race, you got to have both guys going pretty fast because you put the other guy in the car and you lose a bunch of. It's kind of like a relay race where maybe put your fastest guy at the end and maybe your fastest guy at the beginning, but the two guys in the middle got to be able to run. And at some point, I think Newman was just kind of off the pace. And it's a tough car and a tough track and stuff like that. And I think Bobby Rahal just said, or Newman said, like, I got to get around the track with you driving. I got to see what you're doing, where your rpms are, where you're shifting, like how you turning in on these corners. Like, it's really helpful to ride shotgun with a guy who's driving hard and a real fast car. And Bobby Rahel's real fast, but they don't have a passenger seat, so. So Newman sits on a milk crate. Safe for us. Sits on a milk crate, like hangs on. And Bobby Rahal just goes balls out on a big fast track in a 9:35, which is simple. In that same car you had. Same car, Simpler times, you know what I mean? They would not let. You could never do that today. You could never do that today. But a milk crate was the weapon of choice for your guy who had the hot rod and no passenger seat. The milk crate is what was perfect for about sitting on and sort of hanging onto nuts. Anyway, Ron Rice, a half hour ago was over at the other thing, and I said, adam, show the old guy the old car. Let him see it, you know, for the last time probably, and get his thoughts and observations and whatever. And he came in and he had his crew, you know, his guys with him from Hawaiian traffic, and they were like looking at the car and he said, oh, they always make this comment, which is, it looks better now than it ever did back then. Which is kind of true. When they store them, they make them nicer back then. They're just race cars. Nobody cares. Sign them up, get beat up, they don't care. So it does that. Goes on about it talks a little about remembering the car and going to Le Mans, blah, blah, blah, blah. Newman, blah, blah, blah. And now it went to Watkins Glenn, blah, blah. And then I did this. You know, we featured your car in this documentary we made. Oh, boy. He said, I've seen it five times. Have you seen it? He's like, no, nope, haven't seen it. And then I was like, all right, he's 80. I don't know. The two guys are with him that were his crew, his posse, the 50 year old guys. Like, have you guys seen it? No, we have not. And it's like, I wish I had a pencil just to Break. All right, you know what? I should keep one. I don't want him to let me see it. I'm gonna tuck it between my ass cheeks and Vinny's gonna coach me up so I can just. What's that snapping sound now? Then I'll just keep a pencil. So. And I go. Hold on. Before you answer with the doc, let me just. There you go. All right. Did you see my documentary? Person whose car was in the middle of my documentary with your bikini girls down on the track. And who knows, maybe even you in some of the shots. I haven't caught that, but that would be it. It's weird, right? It's so weird. It's not for me. Like, I get the part where. Where, you know, you didn't make a contribution to my charity or whatever. Like, okay, I don't want to give you money or whatever, but how do you not. How is. How does. This is your car. There's a big segment right in the middle of it of Lamont, your car, and Newman and. Why wouldn't this be the funnest Saturday night of your life? I used to have this similar opinion when, like, remember when the movie W came out with Oliver Stone, his movie about George W. Bush with Josh Brolin and all that. And they asked the president at the time, George Bush, like, are you going to see this movie? Do you have interest? No. No interest in seeing it. Never going to see it. And I was like, that's just BS Posturing. He's going to see it. It's whether or not the guy has an agenda. Someone made a movie about you with, like, major Hollywood stars. You're going to see it just to see what's it now. The more I hear about these stories, I'm like, maybe. Maybe you have no clue. Maybe he's not going to see it. Some of it is a generational thing. Like, I understand. I don't think there's anyone who's born now who wouldn't go. Go see it. Yeah. I mean, about themselves. Anything about themselves. There's an old guy thing where it's just like, well, that's what it is. I'll be on the ranch. Yeah. It's like you talk to guys who fought and battle the bulge and they don't want to talk about it. They didn't talk. Not much to say. Flew a Corsair. What else? Why weren't you talking about this, Grandpa? So there's that, but a slight modification. Because as a person who's been on the losing end of the. Hey, the HuffPo guys were talking about you or whatever. I know what it is. Like, I don't even want to see it. It's not that they're saying bad things, is that they'll say a bunch of things that you know are false and that'll get you frustrated. Like, not upset frustrated. Like, no, I didn't say that or no, you misconstrued that or whatever it is. I think the Bushes of the world, old guy meets. I don't want to see me looking like an ass. And with it with a. Probably with an element of. I don't want to give that whoring coke fiend Oliver Stone, who I'm a big fan of, by the way. I don't want to give the satisfaction. And a little Laura Bush going, sweetie, don't. You might want to skip this one. You got 28 years of sobriety. Do you really want to. You want to mess with that? Yeah, I think there's an element this I don't get. There's no downside to that. Oliver Stone made a glowing. He wrote you a love letter. He wrote you a love letter. And you can. It'll. You can see it on your computer for $3. Sorry, Vinnie. This is basically a documentary documenting the part of what this guy was part of. Right, The Hawaiian topic guy. So you would think for that reason alone someone would bring it up. But in stark contrast, I saw it when you guys did the premiere. I appreciate you guys invited me and I loved watching it. I was flying back from England a couple of weeks ago. It was on Virgin and I'm flipping through the thousand. Oh, let me. Let me just give it another 15 minutes and watch the entire thing again and got more out of it that you don't see the first time. You should start selling coconut oil that one puts on their body instead of one in chest. And I would be a lot better off. And yeah, I don't know what's worse. The 30 year automotive journalist who'd never heard of either movie, or the guy who runs Hawaiian Tropic not seeing this. And then their friends, whoever's around them like goes, you've gotta see them. Like. Yeah, they're all pretty bad. The journalist is worse. Number one, it's his professional semi obligation. Number two, the old guy. You're right. There's a generational thing. Maybe just it doesn't watch movies. Maybe he doesn't have a DVD player. There's no way. I brought like it's a mobisode on his phone. Yeah. And he told me. Yeah, he said it better be as good as Maximum Overdrive. Which is worse? The automotive journal is never saying the 24 hour war or Angie Fitzsimmons never hearing the Stone song. Angie. Yes. That used to drive me nuts. Where people had a song about them and never heard that song about them. Now they would always play the age card, where they'd go, I was three when that song came out. Or I wasn't born when that song came out. Right, but what about your uncles? Your uncles were supposed to sing that. Especially when it's all over the radio and a big hit back in the day. All right, what is the storyline for Killdozer? And then the Mick Jagger? Emilio Estevez goes through purgatory. Oh, I think. I think Mick Jagger needed his body or something. Okay. All right, we'll do Killdozer. First, construction workers building an airstrip on a small Pacific island encounter an ancient non material life form which has lived in the ruins of an ancient temple for millennia. The entity is, of course, male, malevolent, and commanders are Earth Commandeer. Sorry, the Earth moving equipment to the general detriment of all concerned. Soldiers of Slave. That poster is amazing. And it says Bob Yerik in there. It says, everybody knows a machine cannot kill except the machine. That's a good tagline. And no contractions. Nice. All right, Free Jack. Early in the 21st century technological advance. A young Brian makes his way to the. To the Baja. I'll be right back. To the Gulf of Mexico. Sorry. Technological advances have made it possible for aging wealthy people to pay crooks like Vindac. That's Mick Jagger's character. To go back in time, kidnap young victims like race car driver Alex Furlong and deliver them to the elderly clients who have their brains transplanted into the health Brian Moonlight. Furlong manages to break free from his captors, but as a fugitive, he finds that the world of the future is a bleak, dangerous place. Wait, do you think Jordan Peele saw this movie? Cause that sounds an awful lot like Get Out. Oh, well, it kind of goes to show, whether it's Killdozer and Maximum Overdrive and this and, you know, get out, there's no real new ideas. There's much better execution of the same ideas. Juries and. Well put. Yes. All right, let's do. All right. And by the way, I'm going to take a phone call here, but don't say it yet. Gabriel. Let's all take a guess on free Jack circa 1988. Or. Yeah, let's all take a rotten tomato. 89, 82. He's right. It is 92. 92. All right. Maximum Overdrive Was a. Was a. Oh, no, wait a minute. Free Jack. Free Jack. Free Jack. Free Jack was a big released movie. It was. I was just. Remember seeing commercials all over the place, post signs of the lamps. Right. It was horrible. And for that reason, I say 22. I said 28. And I'll bet I'm over. I bet it's too high. I said 21. Nine. Ooh. Mean. Mm. Hold on. Let me give Dawson the score so he can do this. Correct. Yeah. By the way, which movie did Stephen King. Right? That was Maximilian. Okay, so Christine was from 1983. So he was like, on a. That was kind of his thing. No, Christine was done before that. No, I looked it up. Well, the movie was 83, and he did Cujo, too, which was the reverse. It was somebody stuck in their car while this was outside the car. These people are stuck in a diner while the cars are outside. Right. Even he rips himself off. I'm kind of against remakes philosophically, but Cujo should be remade because they had a lot of limitations with that dog. Like, they couldn't, like, have the woman attacking the dog. But now with cgi, you can have a pretty vicious movie. PETA won't like that. Cgi, they don't care because it. It forces people to attack St. Bernard. It inspires them to attack St. Bernard. There'll be a rash if St. Bernard attacks. Yes. All right. Free Jack is rotten. We'll find out. How rotten is it? Adam and Gina, you guys were pretty close. Adam, you were only eight away. Gina, you edged Adam out with seven away. That leaves Vinnie and Brian. And thankfully, Brian lost. He got the worst score, 14 away with Free Jack coming in at 14. Wow. Final score of five. Wow. Finally I beat Brian. I got so close last time. And I believe we. We have an award for the winner. Oh, we do? Yeah. Well, that. And who even knew Vinny was going to win this thing? But we got you an award, everybody. Vinnie on the beach. Serve it up hot. Get your paella, people. It's a beautiful plate. Let me describe what's on the plate. I was the ceramics major, so I know how difficult this can be. Hold it up. Hold it up to the VR camera there. Vinnie Tortorich is featured from the 80s in Full Glaze and ceramic on a plate. That's not glaze. Shell. Right on his. The very tactical usage of the conch shell and put in front of the groin. Somebody put that picture on a plate. Yeah, that was a fan. Where did it come from? That was a fan. Steve Owens. So shout out to him. I will eat out of this plate for the rest of my life every day. That'll get most people to eat less. You can say hi to him@gayflatware.com tweet it @gayflatwareflat. That's fantastic. I had this weird thing, which is, you guys, tell me where you would have been at with this. For some reason, when I was, like, in high school, I had a magazine called Cult Roundup. It was a gay magazine. Now, I'm assuming. I don't know where this is going. I'm assuming one of my buddies brought it over to, like, goof on me or something. But it was called Cult Roundup, and I couldn't throw it away because it was pornography. And even though it was gay pornography, it was pornography first, and I couldn't throw away. I took an oath not to ever throw away pornography. It has some value, but I found it so amusing because it was a weird thing. It wasn't a big magazine. It was kind of like a pamphlet or something on a very special episode of the Adam Carell Show. It had a lot of dudes. And the thing that was always funny, I'd never really seen it. But the thing about the dudes with the pornography is when we see chicks naked, like, if we want to see chicks naked, we tell them, get your titties out and lay down and let's take a picture one second. Or just stand here and we'll take some pictures of you. Or put this lacy thing on and lean against this hot rod and we'll take a picture of you. Dudes are working. Dudes are like, hey, he's a fireman, and he's got his boots on, his helmet. He's all greased up and everything. He's. He's taking a hose, and he's like. He's working it, but he's shots. Yeah, like, he's. He's bailing hay, but he's nude. You know, he's like. They put him in a work setting because I think dudes are like, I don't want to see some lazy guy, like, laying around on a chiffon shoe. Yeah, I want to see a dude. Dude. I've had chicks. He's a dude. All right. All female strippers just come out as whores. Like, they just go, I'm a stripper. I'm going to come out next to nothing, and then I'll be in nothing. Dudes have Professions? Yes. They're a cop, he's a fireman, he's a school principal or whatever. They got these jobs because that's part of the allures. You don't want the guy without a gig. You don't want to see his dork. You want to see a guy with a. Part of the excitement is the guy's got to have a gig. What kind of provider is he? Exactly. So I would look at this thing, he would provide pants for himself. And the thing that was funny is all the dudes, like I said, just like in the barn working, you know, but, but, but naked and chubbed up, you know, like, oh, hi there, what are you doing? Or just a little. They'd always, they'd always chub up. They wouldn't go full on. At least in Cult Roundup. And they would be, yeah, it'd be like, oh, hey there sp some hay and it's hot. I was having a mildly sexual thought hanging. Yeah. And I didn't want to sweat through my shirt, pants and underwear. So I don't want to ruin another set of. Well, let me ask you. So they'd be working on cars and they'd be bailing hay and they'd be like at work, but nude. Sounds awesome. Chubbed up and kind of greased up a little. But here's the thing. Imagine the retro cameras. And maybe it was my 17, 18 year old sense of humor. I didn't know I had a sense of humor back then, but it always made me laugh. There was one dude in all the dudes that were naked who was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Puka shells looked like Dave Coulier put on just a couple of pounds. And it just said. It was a headshot and it said Clay under it. Like, hey, I'm Clay and over here there's a guy named Toby. But his dorks hanging out. But Clay just thought he was so good looking. It's just literally a headshot. It was so weird. I was like, I always wanted to talk to Clay. Like, did your dad publish this? Or how'd you pull this up? You're not even really that good looking. But even if you were as attractive as Toby, I still think he's good looking. Cock here. I don't know, Vinny, I'm not gay. Well, you have the gay magazine. I've never seen it. I don't even look that way. I'm staring at cock. Oh, okay. Well, that's not gay. Yeah, of course, I had it all backwards. Now I have this thing and it's funny to me. And it's pornography and I can't throw it away. Sure. But I don't really want to leave it out. Like I'm living in a garage and then my dad wanders in there once in a while like I don't want him. He already found Ray. Ray took a huge dump inside of my door. Just like. Just on the swatch of carpet. We didn't have a floor mat, not even a welcome mat. But inside we had a piece of carpet square that we tore up from some other part of the house that you know, can't throw it away. It's 17 year old carpet, you can't throw it away. So you cut a square and you set it by the door. Ray took a dump on that. My dad found it. I'm picturing how disappointed your dad was when you shaved your head into a mohawk. Imagine when he comes across the cold Roundup. For that he just said, good luck getting a job. But it was his biggest expression of anything. And I do remember at some point the Colt Roundup had been moved from. I slid it. I had a chair in there with a pillow on it. I think I slid it under the thing and it had been moved. Which meant my stepdad, my stepmom or my dad found. They never said anything about it. That makes it worse. I think they just assumed I was there with my buddies, defecating and struggling with my sexuality or something. Can you find Cult Roundup? Gary? This is the closest thing that we've found, but I don't think it's the exact right issue. All right, well, yeah, this one is a little less magazine and. Oh, hello gay. So this is called Roundup, but we don't have a. The gay and lesbian Western magazine. The Cowboys of Colt, Round Jim Window. Yeah, he's got Stallone, Ray Bands on. Try Blue Boy. Honcho. I mean, what? That's the only one I ever saw. All right, wait a second. Yeah. Why do you know what Honcho is? I don't know. I'm a comedian. I'm supposed to know everything. That's not an answer. How dare you. They always had the biggest float in the Pride Parade in New York. Honcho. I did the Gay Pride Parade with Jimmy. There's. Yeah, it was great. Those fellows sure are good friends. There was a lot of controversy when we were on a Kevin and Bean float. And I had the. Jimmy wanted to put on the float. Hello, gays. And I remember our program director's like, no, you can't do that. He's like, why? It's a gay parade and we're saying hello to the gays. He's like, salutation, no, you can't do that. I was like, why? I always like it when smart people have to play kind of stupid when I'm saying hi to the gays. Give me one good reason. All right, this is Adam Kollo Show 2144. Coming up next, we have Adam Carlos Show 118 featuring Chris Kattan from July of 2009. Check it out. I heard that Johnny Depp was gonna be fatty at one point. Really? Yeah. Because the book Ifatty. Have you heard of that book? That's the great. That's the best story about him, apparently. I saw the miniseries I Fatty us on in the seventies. That's like Claudius. Oh, okay, then I'm confused. That's from the makers of Paprika. Paprika. Chili Relayno. Chili Relayno. I didn't pronounce that. So we didn't. So we haven't started shooting the Fatty Arbuckle. We haven't shot that. We have finished the Bollywood hero and it came out awesome. And it's good. I would be like, I'm. It's one of those things you ever, like, do something that you're actually proud of and you're not like, where people were. You know, like, we're doing the, you know, we're doing this press stuff now and. Right. There's no, like, key points to hit or something. Like, it's nice to actually ask something that you feel like. I'm so happy how this came out. Well, yeah. And everyone seems to like it. It's like better than, like, you don't have to do a lot of the, you know, you're proud of it when you don't have to do a lot of that preamble where you go, I was just a gun for hire. I wasn't involved with the writing. Right. Of it. Exactly. You know, I came on to the project later. Right. Already been developed. So you lay all this out. That basically says I'm not really. Yeah. I didn't have anything to do with this. We had a great. We had fun. It was fun. Oh, we had fun time. Oh, we just. We just wing it. Oh, we didn't. Yeah. We just having a great time, you know, because we feel like if we're having a good time, that really translates through the camera. Camera. Which it never does. Then you're like stuck with a six hour version of a movie and you're trying to find what happened. I always like, when people say, though, when you stop having fun, it's time to quit. And they always do that. Yeah, they always do that with athletes. Yeah. Like, they'll be like, well, I knew it was time to hang up the cleats because, you know, just wasn't fun out there. Really? How about the $18 million a year for working four months out of the year? That sounds okay to me. I feel like I could just grit my teeth and get through that for a few more seasons. By the way, what else do you get to quit when you stop having fun? Like, I'm gonna go home and tell my wife and kids, hey, listen, it's just. I'm out of here. There's a level of fun. I'm not having fun. I'm not having the kind of fun I thought I'd have. I'm out of this family. I'm gonna go. I should have done that when I was swinging a hammer. I should have gone to my foreman and said, you know what? I'm up on the roof. It's August. We're in Chatsworth. I'm not having fun. Chatsworth, by the way, is not a bad place. It's hot. It's better. It is in August. It's too hot. Why Chatsworth? Why'd you just. Are you. Were you born and raised? Where were you born and raised? I was born and raised in Hungaria. That's. No, I was born and raised in North Hollywood. You were. Okay. Beautiful North Hollywood, which is. That's near Chatsworth. Picturesque North Hollywood, which is very close to where you were born in Sherman Oaks. And this is in the valley, the one that the Zappa gal sung about. Frank Zappa? No, Moon Zappa. Dweezel. Moon Zappa. Is it Moon or Dweezil? Dweezil. Moon unit and Ahmed. And then there's another one with a scarier name, too. Yeah, like. Like. But she sung this valley. When we talk about the Valley, that's the valley they're singing about. Sort of fast times in Ridgemont High. Valley. That was the best valley. I worked in Chatsworth. I. I worked for a contractor in Chatsworth. Oh, that's why you said the. I've been on many roofs. It's funny you mentioned something that you were. Well, you know, you go for what you know, so it just comes out that way. So now can we talk about your personal life? If you want to. You married? I was married. And then. Kids? Kids? No, I don't have kids. No kids? Married? I have twins. I'm not Married? I was married and then I was married. You were married and then you were married? I was. Is that what I said? Yeah. Yeah, it is what I said. You were married, then you were married. We can't rewind anything, can we? No, I was married and then not married. How long were you married? For a short time, A couple months. I was. How long were you married? I'm married. How long have you been married? I've been married for six years, maybe seven. How many kids do you have? Maybe seven. I have two. I have two kids. I was just talking to my wife about. You seem very happy. I'm a. I'm comfortable in my own skin. You do seem like a happy. You are happy. I mean, like, you know, a lot of people are not happy. Well, I'm not neurotic. Well, you are. You're not. You're not, you know, you're not a neurotic. I used to smoke, though. I remember you smoked. Yeah, I'm not. I'm. I'm not. I remember Loveline, you'd step out and smoke. I would on occasion, yes. But I'm not neurotic. I'm not weird like a lot of people in this business. Right? I'm. I'm easy. Yeah. I'm comfortable. You are easy. Yeah. So married for a couple of months. Correct. So do you have to get. You get an annulment? Do you get it? Do you get a divorce? I got. Yeah, I got some of those things. Are you out a bunch of money? No, not too much. Did you have a bunch of money? Nah. A fair amount. Probably like you. But you're cool. I'm cool. You're comfortable. I'm happy that this Bollywood hero thing came out well. And that was. That helps when work is good. How do you. I mean, for someone who's been around for. For a while, even though you're young, but you've been through SNL. Yeah. 90s and all that good stuff. Made a bunch of feature movies. What do you think's going on with the business? Because I think it's changing at a pretty. Pretty fast speed. I think things are getting. I guess they're getting funnier. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. It's a weird time. I mean, I don't know what it is. A weird in between. It's very weird in between. Like, there was a re. We had a reason a couple years ago, like, oh, the writer strike. That's why everything sucks or weird. Right. But now we don't really have anything to blame But I think what they used to be, they're not what they used to be. And somehow the Internet is cropping up, but in a way that no one really knows. Knows what the future wells. Like the Twitter thing is, you know, like, you can. That's pretty crazy. What's going on with that? Like, that thing gets. You could say things on that that are funny and then someone adds to that. Like, there used to be like just that talk show element where people just say the joke there. Now you can say something funny on that thing and it'll catch on. Are people watching this when you're seeing this? No, we just put stuff on our monitor. It usually just serves to distract the guest. It's so committed. It's awesome. It's awesome. Awesome podcasting. Because what it is is we talk about things and then you show pictures of the guest points and says, wow, look at that. What does that mean? That then when the people who are listening to the podcast are just confused. Yeah. By having the guests. It's a much good thing about seeing all these photos is that I make fun of them. In the Bollywood hero. Yes. Like Mr. Peepers. Mr. Peepers. That was. Yeah. What would you say your most most popular SNL character was? I think it was probably Mango. I'd have to go with Mango as well. Now, do you get. The Roxbury guys were. Oh, yeah. Famous. Right. I feel like your head movement was. There we go. That was fast. They really found that photo. Wow. And there's one time I played with myself and photo. Chris had a solid BM this morning before he left that house. Yeah. Grab a shot of that. Toss that up there. Yeah. No, no, no. The one at the Four Seasons. That's the one. So now when you do something like Night at the Roxbury. Yes. When somebody says, when Lorne Michael makes the decree and says, this must be a movie, how do you take a three minute or four minute sketch and make it into 90 minutes worth of movie? By trusting somebody else other than yourself. So like you and Will Ferrell. Well, we didn't know what we were doing. We're like, I just got on the show and then all of a sudden they wanted to make a movie out about these characters. It's just one of those things where it's someone else's. It just becomes a machine. But you really didn't know what was happening. At the same time, it wasn't like, we want to make a movie out of this. Somebody tells you or Lauren tells you. Is there such a thing as Telling Lauren, no, I'm not going to do. It was great to do. It was a great experience and it made money and all that stuff and helped us out and, you know, but it wasn't like we wanted. We weren't like, okay, we have a vision. I'm like, not to go back to the Bollywood hero, but that was like. It took three years to do and we had a story to tell and that's why it came out so good. And we say we. How much involved with the writing of that? Well, I also got to be the executive producer and the writing too, but that there was a lot of involvement. How's the ifc? That's Independent Film Channel. Film Channel. And they put up a lot of pretty cool original stuff. They're really cool. Yeah. And they're great for this because they encouraged. They let us do what we wanted to do. But they're really smart about. They're really smart. It's nice to do something with smart people. Yeah. As opposed to like. Right. I mean, you know, it's just like. Yes. Hard to have. It's hard to do something good and then work with people that are good. And maybe I think the more money you make, sometimes the crappier things are just sometimes. Sometimes it's. You mean the bigger the budget. Bigger the budget. Something gets lost. It just seems like something gets lost along the way sometimes. I think we have some. Not to say that to the scout Mike to attempt. Well, this must have some budget. You want the easy to shoot it, right? Yeah, no, it had some budget, but you know what I mean. All right. This is Adam Perillo showing Chris Kattan 101 from the first year of the podcast that does it for today's quote classics until tomorrow and get it on. Are you looking for your next case? 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