Joel McHale + The Sklar Brothers (Carolla Classics)

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show – Carolla Classics

Episode: Joel McHale + The Sklar Brothers

Date: November 15, 2025
Guests: Joel McHale, The Sklar Brothers, Jeff Cesario
Regulars: Adam Carolla (Host), Gina Grad, Brian “Bald Bryan” Bishop

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Episode Overview

This Carolla Classics episode features two of Adam’s favorite comic guests: Joel McHale (Community, The Soup, Netflix’s The Joel McHale Show) and the Sklar Brothers (comedians, podcast hosts). The first half is a high-energy, improvisational interview with Joel McHale, packed with riffs, industry stories, Hollywood absurdities, and a running mock-feud about adultery and Adam’s “mistress” Janine. The second half spotlights the Sklar Brothers and Jeff Cesario (as "Chet Waterhouse"), diving into comedy, documentaries, sports, and memorable bathroom tales.

The main themes are show business camaraderie, the weird realities of fame, old school radio memories, and the value of authentic comic banter. The tone is fast-paced, sarcastic, and full of in-jokes—the classic Carolla style.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Joel McHale Interview and Riff Session

[01:45 – 41:07]

• Joel McHale’s New Projects:
  Joel plugs A Futile and Stupid Gesture (Netflix film about National Lampoon), as well as The Joel McHale Show on Netflix.

  • Adam commends Joel’s “bulging biceps,” which kicks off a run of physique jokes.

• Chevy Chase Stories and ‘Community’ Days:

  • Joel discusses what it’s like to portray Chevy Chase and work with him as a castmate.
  • On Chevy’s infamy: “You always hear people go, well, that's Chev being Chev... He hated the hours being there, and that would take its toll.” (Joel McHale, [06:51])
  • Adam theorizes that Joel is the “latter-day Chevy,” the tall, rangy heartthrob in a sea of regular comic types.
    • “Normally comedians are a little more Patton Oswalt—you know what I mean?” (Adam Carolla, [07:58])

• Humorous Tangent: Adam’s 'Stepmom Movie' Bit:

  • Adam spins a surreal tale about being repeatedly asked to play his own stepmom in a film, with absurd references to bundles of cash and Kevin Hart.
  • “I go by bundles. How many bundles do you get?” (Adam Carolla, [04:48])

• Adam’s Wedding Ring and ‘Mistress Janine’ Bit:

  • An extended, running joke begins about Adam’s silicone wedding ring (due to a knuckle injury).
  • The conversation devolves into a wild game of telephone, with Joel and Adam accusing each other (and Adam’s fictional mistress Janine) of salacious road stories.
  • Notable moments:
    • “Why would I be—well, could you take it back? Because Lynette listens to the show.” (Adam Carolla, [30:46])
    • “You hear him say ‘plow a stranger’? See, you said it!” (Joel McHale, [36:28])
    • The cast repeatedly ‘rewinds the tape’ for comic effect.

• Camaraderie in Hollywood & Losing Touch:

  • Adam laments that career success means less time to hang out with friends like Joel, Jimmy Kimmel, etc.
    • “The only lament of becoming successful… is the Joel McHales and the Jimmy Kimmels—you just don’t get to hang with them as much as you used to.” (Adam Carolla, [12:40])
  • Joel agrees: “You see the parents at the school, you know, and then you're like…I guess we're hanging out because you're the parents of our kids.” ([13:26])

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2. Pop Culture, Movies, and ‘Made Up Movie’ Game

[41:07 – 1:11:04]

• Aliens & Paul Reiser:

  • They praise Paul Reiser’s versatility, specifically his performance in Aliens.
  • Sound design rabbit hole (Brian’s attempt at a “deep cut”).
    • “If you're gonna watch it, maybe with a more trained eye, that sound design's gonna get you.” (Brian, [12:17])

• ‘Made Up Movie’ Segment:

  • The crew improvises movies based on silly titles suggested by callers.
  • Recurrent Janine jokes: “Never have I ever finished in Janine's hair!" (Adam Carolla, [45:39])

• Security Guards & Gatekeepers:

  • Adam’s rant on overzealous security guards not letting him into The Soup taping—exposing "power trip" types in showbiz.
    • "Security guards act like it’s their building... anyone who's tried to get onto a lot…the lowest person on the totem pole is the one in charge of the gate." (Adam, [25:01])

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3. Sklar Brothers, Jeff Cesario ("Chet Waterhouse"), and Comedy Industry Tales

[1:08:39 onward]

• Sklar Brothers ('Poop Talk'), Cesario as "Chet Waterhouse":

  • Talk of their new documentary, Poop Talk, featuring Adam, Dr. Drew, and others, discussing bathroom humor.
  • Adam’s “Hobo Power” scale for ranking levels of stink.

• Comedy’s Old School Days:

  • Cesario recalls stand-up auditions for Letterman and The Tonight Show.
    • "Back then Letterman and The Tonight Show were it. If you wanted to do anything as a stand up comic, you had to get on Letterman..." (Chet/Jeff Cesario, [139:20])

• Riffs on 80s/90s TV (Hart to Hart, Bad Ronald, Murder She Wrote):

  • Adam and the Sklars dissect the formulaic nature of old detective shows.
  • Hilarious breakdown of the TV-movie Bad Ronald:
    • “It’s a movie where this kid who was a nerd lived with his sickly mom…invited to a pool party, just so he could be made fun of…then he lives under the stairs.” (Adam, [177:02])

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4. Sports with Chet Waterhouse & Pop Culture Satire

[1:34:23+]

• Sports Satire:

  • Chet Waterhouse delivers absurd, pun-laden sports news (“Hello again everybody—Chet Waterhouse here, brought to you by Main Course Chewing Gum...”).

• DJ Khaled, Jay-Z, and Modern Rap:

  • Adam parodies DJ Khaled’s simplistic catchphrases and the self-seriousness of modern pop music.
  • “Put your hands up! Major Key Alert!” (Chet/Sklar/Adam, [149:24])

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Notable Quotes, Moments & Timestamps

• Chevy Chase Stories:

  • "Sometimes we would physically fight each other. Other than that…it was always intense horseplay." (Joel McHale, [07:12])

• Adam's Road Life & ‘Janine’ Bit:

  • “All I know is you're throwing out random names and when you come out with those kinds of accusations…” (Adam, [33:08])
  • “Take Janine from behind. That's all I can think.” (Adam, [37:54])

• Gatekeeper Rant:

  • “Anyone who's tried to get onto a lot…the person that gets paid the least is the one manning the gate. But they act like they own the lot.” (Adam, [25:01])

• Sklar Brothers on Parenting & Comedy:

  • “Parents were good. Never had money but…gave a crap about us. Even though my dad was on the road…he sold Velcro and shoulder pads and alteration supplies. We sell ourselves.” (Jason Sklar, [151:40])

• Bathroom & Hobo Power:

  • “We have everything—BTUs, fathoms and yards. But we don’t have a measurement for stink.” (Adam, [165:40])
  • “Delivered milk…to the Salvation Army home. Six or seven guys sleeping in this heated entryway…weaponized hobo power.” (Pat, caller, [167:10])

• Old Radio/TV Executives:

  • “Jack somehow hit the trifecta of the most popular movie, TV and stand up comedians at that time—then labeled each one ‘radio death’.” (Adam, [60:47])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:45] — Joel McHale segment begins
• [06:40] — Chevy Chase horror stories & Community tales
• [13:00] — Adam’s “lost camaraderie” laments
• [30:40] — Start of “Janine”/wedding ring bit
• [45:25] — “Made Up Movie” segment kicks off
• [68:38] — Sklar Brothers + Cesario segment begins
• [74:24] — Cesario/stand-up TV stories
• [128:17] — DJ Khaled song satire (“Major Key Alert”)
• [150:15] — Sklar Brothers discuss “Poop Talk”
• [165:40] — “Hobo Power” (stink measurement) game

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Original Tone & Speaker Attributions

• Adam steers the show with absurdist stories, blue-collar wisdom, and his trademark rants, poking Hollywood’s hollow core.
• Joel McHale matches Adam’s self-deprecation with equal wit, gamely diving into running bits with deadpan delivery.
• The Sklars bring O.C.D.-level observational detail, generously sharing the spotlight.
• Cesario, as “Chet Waterhouse,” performs energetic, manic sports satire.
• Gina Grad and Bald Bryan keep the show moving, serving as both comic foils and support.

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For New Listeners

This episode exemplifies The Adam Carolla Show’s signature style: irreverent banter, deep irony, fake feuds, quick improvisation, roasting, and nostalgia. At its heart, it’s a celebration of comic community, the highs and humiliations of showbiz, and how laughter can be squeezed from anything—be it a humiliating camp dance memory or a commode rescued from the streets of Glendale.

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Memorable Segment – The “Janine” Saga

[From 29:00+]

The wedding ring bit morphs into an elaborate, absurd, meta-comedy riff. Adam and Joel keep escalating, riffing on the fictional “Janine,” and who did what to whom on the road, with the rest of the team interjecting mock outrage, confusion, and deliberate “rewinds.” This long improv stands out for its married-guy, showbiz-insider humor and relentless callbacks.

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Memorable Lines

• “I realized that I needed to take the ring off...to hit the heavy bag, or fuck a groupie. No! I meant...throw some weights around...” – Adam [31:18]

• “If those aren't six enough examples for you…why you have to stray into this world…” – Adam [33:08]

• “Plow a stranger. That's all I can think.” – Adam [37:54]

• “This is called straight line theory. You can assess very quickly, and say: here's the easiest, most efficient way to get to this point—but people need to…wean themselves out of their own bad ideas.” – Chet Waterhouse/Jeff Cesario [124:13]

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Conclusion / Takeaways

If you’re new to Carolla, this episode is a crash course in his no-BS, comedians-first ethos. It’s a mix of backstage revelation, goofball fantasy, workplace skewering, and competitive riffing—a must-listen for fans of contemporary American comedy and podcasting culture. The interplay between Adam, Joel, the Sklars, and Cesario captures the anything-goes, self-mocking spirit that keeps people returning to the show.

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This summary features only the core comic content—adverts, extraneous intros, outros, and non-content segments have been omitted for clarity and flow.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Do you have what it takes to finish first? The App Store is packed with super fast, super fun racing games for every driver. From battling with your favorite characters in Disney Speedstorm to piloting one of over 400 different cars on officially licensed tracks in real racing. 3. It's all right here. Blast down the track with no limit drag racing 2. Race and collect the latest and greatest cars in CSR2 realistic drag racing or even take over the International Car Racing arena with Asphalt Legends and take on the toughest drivers from around the world with NASCAR Manager. Just visit the App Store to find these racing games and more and get ready to start your engines. Leave boredom in the dust on the App Store. Welcome to Corolla Classics.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm your host, super fan Giovanni.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the podcast we play the.

[Brian Bishop]

Best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Corolla Show.

[Adam Carolla]

There is a Cruella Classics podcast dedicated.

[Brian Bishop]

To just this show with the replays.

[Adam Carolla]

Of the Adam Corolla Show. You can find the ad free archives through podcast one plus if you'd like access to the ad free archives, the Adam Carolla show, the Adam and Dr. Drew show, or exclusive access to the brand new podcast be Beat It Out. Make sure to check out adam corolla.

[Brian Bishop]

Substack adamco.substack.com and if you'd like to.

[Adam Carolla]

Request a clip, please email us classicsamcorola.com all right, let's get to the clips.

[Brian Bishop]

Coming first we have Adam Carla show 2261 with the great Joel McHale, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop from 2018. Check it out.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you and Bo. Brian, I'm a hermaphrodite in studio. Joel, I just watched a project he was in a stupid and futile. I very much enjoyed it last night.

[Joel McHale]

Bless you for watching it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, I was like, I love Joel. I heard it was great. I saw the documentary.

[Gina Grad]

You love the genre.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian gave it a nice review and Joel's coming in tomorrow and I said, well, tonight I'm gonna watch it. And I found it groundbreaking.

[Brian Bishop]

It's pretty good.

[Adam Carolla]

It was pretty damn certain performances were lacking.

[Gina Grad]

It was exactly all right.

[Joel McHale]

It was fine.

[Adam Carolla]

Also looking here, Joel's bulging biceps are a little distracting.

[Joel McHale]

Look, it's just as if Chevy did.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of ar.

[Joel McHale]

He just was, you know, he lifted a lot of ice blocks for some reason during the day.

[Adam Carolla]

The Also the Joel McHale show with Joe McHale premieres this Sunday, February 18, 12:05am but it doesn't say where it premieres?

[Joel McHale]

Netflix.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Joel McHale]

Which is a streaming service.

[Adam Carolla]

Chris, go ahead and look at the Bios and then look for the place that. The place.

[Joel McHale]

Did you write Netflix down, Chris?

[Brian Bishop]

Pretty critical.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna write Netflix now, so they must like you. And so I know that Netflix also made the movie. That's what I'm saying. I guess whoever made this bio just assumed I would assume double down on Joel. All right, so the Chevy Chase. So I know you worked with him and Community, and there's no stories, and it can be a little difficult probably, to work with, but what not many people like. I'm not a big fan of my stepmom, but I am not ever asked to portray her in a movie or rarely. Or when I am, I turn it down. I guess it's. Or my management turns it down.

[Joel McHale]

Your stepmom roll down My stepmom roll.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Right.

[Joel McHale]

How many times has it been offered?

[Adam Carolla]

I guess I've been asked to play Lynn.

[Joel McHale]

This was. Was Warner Brothers.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I was initially asked to play Lynn a couple of times.

[Brian Bishop]

If it's a standing offer, it's never like, you know, over and over, it's like, hold on.

[Adam Carolla]

Since the Weinstein thing, because.

[Joel McHale]

Because they had it for a while.

[Adam Carolla]

They owned it, and then they kept renewing. Every year they'd have to renew. And then.

[Joel McHale]

And then.

[Adam Carolla]

When did Kevin Hart fell out, right, to play Lynn? Yeah. Well, initially, I fell out. Then he slid in, and then he fell out.

[Joel McHale]

And it was a scheduling thing that you couldn't do it, or was it because you didn't want to step into the role?

[Adam Carolla]

I. You know, I felt like it was too personal, like I had too many stories. Like you and Chevy.

[Jason Sklar]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you.

[Joel McHale]

But you nailed her voice the couple of times I've heard you do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that was Monique. She came in. She came in after and cleaned up and did a lot of ADR work. But then eventually my management just knew I didn't want to play my stepmom in a movie. And so they. So I don't know how many times they said, how many millions were you.

[Joel McHale]

Offered before they realized you were not doing it?

[Adam Carolla]

I go by. It's a little bit different. A lot of people go by millions or thousands or whatever. I go by bundles. So I'm very rich, and I just speak in terms of bundles. How many bundles do you get? And, like, for instance, I saved a ton of dough last year because I found out you could slide individual bills out of the bundles and give them out that way. So like, if you wanted to tip somebody at the airport, you wouldn't have to give them a whole bundle, even though they're bound and everything. You could just slide a single bill out of the bundle and hand them part of the bundle. So I was offered many bundles, which now I know can be broken apart.

[Joel McHale]

But what do you do when you're on. Speaking of the airport, and then you're on a plane and God forbid that it's a plane that doesn't have a first class, which I'm sure rarely happens to you.

[Adam Carolla]

You talking about like a Cessna.

[Joel McHale]

They want to charge you for drinks and food and they say, we only take credit cards. And you're sitting there with.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm like, I just do bundles.

[Joel McHale]

I have my bundle vest on your lap. Yeah, yeah. What do you do?

[Adam Carolla]

I would never fly those airlines. So I don't know. I just have my assistant deal with it.

[Joel McHale]

And when you see Spirit Airlines go by, you just point and go.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know what that is, but if I saw a plane that didn't accept bundles, I would just keep walking, you know what I mean?

[Joel McHale]

All right, so the project is dead, Lynn, is. You are not playing.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not playing my stepmom. No. But you played Chevy Chase.

[Joel McHale]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And you worked with Chevy.

[Joel McHale]

We came all the way back around.

[Gina Grad]

Scenic Ro.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sure Chevy's probably not the easiest guy to work with.

[Joel McHale]

Where have you heard that.

[Adam Carolla]

Little bird named Joel McKevitten?

[Joel McHale]

So it's. Yeah, well, you know, the years of community, there was always, you know, stories running around, obviously about Chev and about, you know, Dan's recording of the voicemails that was going around. I don't know if you've heard those.

[Adam Carolla]

He was leaving voicemails.

[Joel McHale]

Yeah, those got out.

[Adam Carolla]

And then, you know, Mel Gibson esque voicemails.

[Joel McHale]

Yes, yes, they were. They were quite ranty. And you know, Chev, he. You always hear people go, well, that's Chev being Chev, which he, he hated the hours being there. And that would take its toll, definitely. And then sometimes we would physically fight each other. Other than that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it had to be particularly.

[Joel McHale]

It was always. It was. It was intense horseplay, but we still were.

[Brian Bishop]

Or rough and around rough housing.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, I believe. I mean, the sort of psycho dynamic is the blonde who's the belle of the ball, who's sort of aging out of the leading gal, the femme fatale, whatever ingenue role, doesn't hate the haunchy, frizzy haired chick who's playing the Best friend. She hates the next blonde who comes in and is kind of playing her role. So Joel McHale is sort of the latter day Chevy Chase. People on Nubile Blonde for a moment.

[Brian Bishop]

He's on his head shot for a long time.

[Joel McHale]

I was in Spy Kids 4 and people were like, he's on his way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you were the rangy, attractive. Normally comedians are a little more Patton Oswalt. You know what I mean?

[Joel McHale]

You mean the sexiest man alive?

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm saying. He was offered the role of Lynn initially because of his legacy.

[Joel McHale]

Would you be pissed if he took it?

[Adam Carolla]

He did until he got a very sternly worded tweet from me to say, back off. Wow.

[Joel McHale]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

But normally they don't. They're not built like Joel McHale. And I could see if you're Chevy Chase and that was the former you. For all those years, you got to stand there in between John Belushi or Martin Short. I'm screwing up that John Belushi. Yes. And. Sorry, I went Bill Murray. Bill Murray. No, I would. I'll. I'll throw in a Harry Sher just to kind of make my point.

[Gina Grad]

To make a point.

[Adam Carolla]

Stand next to Harry Cher and be the Adonis in the group. So I could see maybe an. A little initial feeling of a threat From a Joel McHale showing up the set.

[Joel McHale]

I would. Yeah, he didn't. He. He was. You know, he was. Yeah. I would say you're right, as I use a lot of different sounds that kind of almost are words but really aren't. It's just a lot of noises. But which. Which is kind of like a Morse code for. Yeah, well, let's.

[Adam Carolla]

And did you get any feedback from him or.

[Joel McHale]

He would get that. But then there was moments when, you know, there'll be. A lot of times he could be great and he would tell stories where you'd be like. And then he would say stuff like. And then Paul Newman and I were playing pool and then in walks Paul McCartney. And he's like, john Lennon just got Chinese food. Do you guys want to go to Andy Warhol's place and eat it? And he'd be like, I have a story about where I saw Richard Lewis one time. And so those times were great. But. Yeah, so I actually called him to tell him that I was doing the movie. And he actually was thrilled that Doug Kenney, who the movie is about, who started the National Lampoo and wrote Animal House and Caddyshack and then. And then died at 33. He was very happy. He was finally getting his due. And. But then I called him again three weeks ago before the Sundance Film Festival, where the movie premiered. Thank you. And starring the Amazing Will Forte. Directed by David White and the Amazing. So. But he was more like. I called him. He was like, are you just calling me to say hi? I'm like, no, the movie's out and it's good. He's like, okay. And then I said, do you want to see it? I can send you a link. And then he was like, what's a link?

[Adam Carolla]

Had enough sausage for today, but thanks.

[Joel McHale]

You know, that was Chevy. You know, that's how we talk. And so we have not. I don't know if he's seen it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, as far as I could tell, you were funny and he was funny, and there was a little cocaine use on occasion, but didn't seem. Yeah, he.

[Joel McHale]

About the cocaine. I mean, he had been written in other places about kind of. That was such a legendary time when everyone was doing it and didn't think it would, you know, stop your heart in 10 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let's. Let's talk about the Joel McHale show as well, which is premiering this Sunday, February 18th on Netflix.

[Brian Bishop]

Very exciting.

[Adam Carolla]

It's written right here by me. Upcoming guest Kevin Hart, Paul Reiser, Alison Brave.

[Joel McHale]

Yeah, Paul Reiser's in Stranger Things, and we're doing a little Stranger Things thing.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a good dude.

[Joel McHale]

He's funny.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm glad. Obviously, it's nice when you look around, you see like a Paul Reiser or like a Larry Miller and you go, they just keep working. And I'm happy about that.

[Brian Bishop]

Doesn't get credit for his range either. Literally, a few nights ago, I was watching Aliens where he's the. He's the de facto bad guy, aside from, course, the aliens, and plays it straight. Not jokey, not funny. I mean, he's smarmy, but he's not, like, joking it up and funny. And he is convincing and he's a great.

[Joel McHale]

He's smarmy, but he's not playing smarmy at all. He's just comes off the company now.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a good. He's.

[Joel McHale]

All you young people out there listening just go watch Aliens. And you must realize what groundbreaking how. What. That movie changed a lot for the.

[Brian Bishop]

Sound design is perfect.

[Joel McHale]

The sound design. So the aliens are not great and the acting is okay and the sets suck. But. But the sound design.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian's a snob. He's trying to. He's going for. He's going for A deep cut.

[Joel McHale]

Did you like the Hustler? Oh, the costumes feel like any basic.

[Brian Bishop]

Bitch could say, oh, the aliens were sc.

[Gina Grad]

He just called you a basic.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what he's doing.

[Brian Bishop]

Smarmy. But you know what? If you're gonna watch it, maybe with a little bit of a more trained eye, that sound design's gonna get you.

[Joel McHale]

Do you sometimes talk into a pillow.

[Adam Carolla]

Until you can't breathe anymore? Only when he switches positions with his lover, Joel McHale. Speaking of talking into something.

[Joel McHale]

Good to see you. I. I wish. I wish we were teenagers and we could play on the same football team.

[Adam Carolla]

God, I feel the same way. The only lament, or at least top three lament, I would say. And I'm not paying you lip service. I really mean it. The only lament of becoming successful and getting busy is the Joel McHales and the Jimmy Kimmels and all the people that you guys know as personalities. But you have to know them as personal. Just the funnest guys in the world to have lunch with. You just don't get to see him or hang with them as much as you used to. When Jimmy and I were wildly unsuccessful, we'd have lunch every single day for four hours. And it's literally. You can't do that with Jimmy anymore. And Joel is the same. And everyone's running a million different directions.

[Joel McHale]

You see the parents at the school, you know, and then you're like. I guess we're hanging out because you're the parents of our kids. Like each other. And then.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Joel McHale]

Then you go away all the time to tour. Yeah, It's. It's. It's. You know, it's hard. It's hard. No, but you're right. And. But now. But now look at us.

[Adam Carolla]

Look at us. So, Joel, speaking of family. Sorry. Stifle yourself, Pillen boy. But write it down.

[Brian Bishop]

Move to that point.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Go ahead.

[Brian Bishop]

That's where you get the original Ocean's Eleven from. The super busy Famous guys wanted to hang out together for a month.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I mean, they. In real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is.

[Brian Bishop]

Sinatra and D. Martin.

[Joel McHale]

Because now a lunch with you or. We have to plan. There's planning.

[Adam Carolla]

There's planning. So I thought I brought a mouthpiece in because I thought it'd be funny.

[Brian Bishop]

What do you mean?

[Adam Carolla]

But not that you need a mouthpiece, but.

[Brian Bishop]

Who just walked in the door?

[Adam Carolla]

My dad. He's pissed about this whole stepmom business. Strawberry me. Let's talk careers for a second. We all gotta have a job. But what you really Want is a career. Something that makes you feel like you're actually building something, not just clocking in and clocking out. I talked to Vincent over at Strawberry. Great guy, by the way. First rate people over there. Super nice, smart, and they actually care about helping you move forward. I know that firsthand because I talked to Vincent over there. Strawberry Me helps you go from stuck at work to feeling good about what you do. They'll match you with a career coach who gets your goals. You take a quick quiz and bam, you're on your way. They'll help you figure out what you want, what you're worth, and how to get there. Whether that's negotiating better pay, finding a new gig, or finally moving into something you care about. Head to Strawberry Me. ACS to get 50% off your first week. It's your career. Take care of it. That's Strawberry Me. Acs, stop settling. Start building the career you actually want. Dad talks through his trumpet mouthpiece. We don't really communicate anymore, but I do kind of know what he's saying. Okay. Hey, dad. Good to see you, man. All right, all right. So you're doing. So. So. Hey. Yeah, yeah, go. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, well, listen, Lynn, no disrespect, I just did not want to portray your wife in a miniseries. Yeah, no, no, no. It's not a reflection on you. It's not a reflection on you. So, no, I don't think. My poop doesn't think. Okay, well, if you're gonna get like.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't bring you in here to criticize me or the show. I wanted to tell you that Jimmy Kimmel's hosting the Oscars again. Yeah, Okay, I will. Look, most people think he did a good job, so I think you're a little bit out on an island there.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

You're gonna use that kind of language and I'm gonna ask you to leave. Don't start choosing people now. Listen, dad, what's wrong with you? I wish. First off, you told me you didn't see last year's Oscar, so how can you say it was a horrible performance by Jimmy Kimmel? Okay, you're hurt. All right, I get it. Word. Word. I get it. Word gets around the Altadena area. But I'm letting you know that this year he's coming back. And guess who's going to be writing for the Oscars again? Your son. No, no. Me. I'm not Jamie.

[Gina Grad]

Did you tell a joke?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I did not tell a joke. That's what the audience is going to be doing after they hear my jokes. Dad, seriously, I'm not kidding. And this time it's official. I'm getting paid. Yes. Me. No, I'm writing for the Oscars because I was asked to write for them. How much money that's worked out with the union? I don't know. Look, obviously it's not about the money. It's about the pride in being at.

[Chet Waterhouse]

It is.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I know you've never done anything unless someone dangled a nickel in front of you, but I have a little something called loyalty. Dad. Oh, my God. Dad. No, he just wants Silence of the Lambs on us. Now. Listen, dad, I'm very proud of the fact that Jimmy asked me back to write for the Oscars again. Well, it means something to me. And I would hope that you would support Jimmy by watching the Oscars this year. It's Sunday. Well, it does. It comes on. I understand you love the Jeopardy. College edition, but that's not on Sunday. That starts Monday. That's the following Monday. Oh, don't tell me you have to emotionally prepare for the Jeopardy. College. All right, dad, now listen.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, Daddy, does he hate us?

[Brian Bishop]

You can't watch it with me and Natalia, Grandpa.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, come on. The kids. They're your grandkids now. Come on, dad. Yeah, I get it. There are other grandkids that are better. And I get you have better places, better things to do and places to go, but these are your grandchildren. And I think if you don't spend time with him now, you'll regret it one day. There, he's having another hit of Postum. He's got a hit the spit valve.

[Gina Grad]

So, yeah, I made you this drawing, Grandpa. We were so excited you were coming over.

[Brian Bishop]

See, I told you wouldn't like it, Natalia.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a picture of you playing the trumpet, though, dad. Right. I get it. You could do it in your sleep. But these are kids. They're young kids. The stuff doesn't have to go to Guggenheim. You just put it on your refrigerator. Don't throw it away.

[Gina Grad]

He doesn't have to step on it.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't throw it away in front of them, dad. Throw it away.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, do it right here in front of him.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he's drinking again. Dad, we don't. I don't like it when you hit the bottle. All right, dad, I'll tell you what.

[Gina Grad]

He'S doing a jig.

[Adam Carolla]

Why you're upsetting the children. Dad, all I'm just. In parting, I just want to know that you're going to be tuned In Sunday night at 5 o' clock to watch my pal Jimmy host the Oscars. And keep in mind, your son, your only son, will be backstage feverishly writing jokes. I'm. No, I'm not done. And I hope you can find some pride in that. Oh, he's leaving. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Bye, Grandpa. We love you.

[Adam Carolla]

I did. I'm not leasing you another car. Oh, he's trying to slam the door.

[Gina Grad]

He can't slam the hydroplane.

[Joel McHale]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Where did Joel go?

[Adam Carolla]

What happened, you guys?

[Joel McHale]

I had food poisoning. I've been in the toilet.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I love it. All right, so now let's Talk the Joel McHale show with Joel McHale on.

[Brian Bishop]

It'll be a lot of that.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of that.

[Gina Grad]

A lot of spitvel.

[Joel McHale]

Give us.

[Adam Carolla]

Give us the.

[Joel McHale]

We're taping our first episode tomorrow. Yeah. So a lot of people are like, is it like the Soup? It's nothing like the Soup, except there's a green screen and we make fun of reality television and tell a lot of. Other than that, pop culture jokes.

[Brian Bishop]

Similarities.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Joel McHale]

Nothing at all. Okay. There's two cameras this time, so that's exciting.

[Brian Bishop]

Will it be day and date? We release a batch of them like Netflix does?

[Joel McHale]

No, it's a top weekly topical show.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't.

[Brian Bishop]

They.

[Joel McHale]

They don't do this a lot. I know they're trying to now. Hopefully it will work. But it's.

[Jason Sklar]

It.

[Joel McHale]

It. We tape it tomorrow, and then it releases on very early Sunday morning because they have to Translate it into 130 languages or.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Joel McHale]

I don't know how fart jokes about bachelorettes are gonna translate.

[Adam Carolla]

Hopefully it'll work.

[Joel McHale]

But. Yeah, it's. It's very similar to the Soup, but it's not the Soup because I don't want them to sue us.

[Brian Bishop]

Just.

[Joel McHale]

Clip shows are not.

[Adam Carolla]

There's no.

[Joel McHale]

You're not gonna be. Rights to a clip show, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jason Sklar]

But I.

[Joel McHale]

There's. Everyone talks about, like, I feel like there's still. There's so much more reality television than there was, and I would like to make fun of it because I would like to get a McLaren.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Joel, you'll verify the time? I did. I went to go do the Soup, and the security guard would not let me know to go do the Soup. Remember I was talking about we hire a bunch of retarded guys for $9 an hour to just ruin our lives?

[Joel McHale]

That was.

[Adam Carolla]

I was a guest on the Soup, and I went and I said the security guard, like, I gotta go up to the second floor. And he's like, can't let you do that. And I was like, well, can you call up there? And they're like, no, I cannot do that. And I said, well, I'm supposed to do the show. And he's like, well, what are you gonna do? Have a seat over there. And I just sat there for, like, half an hour. And eventually I said, can you call up and tell the suit people I'm here? And he's like, can't do it. And I'm like, all right, well, then I'm going to leave. And he's like, okay. Like, someone that's going to come down eventually, and you're going to tell him I'm not here. And he's like, adios. Yes. Like, okay.

[Joel McHale]

People got in trouble for what happened. That doesn't. I know you. It's not even. Like, you weren't being a jerk, and. But it's. They. We are usually alerted to when guests show up. Yes, Producers should be sent down. But I was like, what the fuck is happening, guys? We've been on the air for a while. We.

[Adam Carolla]

A long time at that point. Yeah.

[Joel McHale]

And I wish we could have brought up. I would have hired you a publicist to scream and. But that was unacceptable. That might have been. During the days of when they were. They knew that Seacrest would be roaming the hallways, and they were terrified that he would lose, like, a pocket watch or something. So I feel. I still feel. We did pay you the $400 sag minimum.

[Adam Carolla]

Joel was sweet. Joel called me on the way home.

[Joel McHale]

I was mortified. I don't get mortified, eas. But I was very not happy.

[Gina Grad]

But before that, were you pissed that Adam just didn't show up?

[Joel McHale]

No, we. I forget how we've learned that you weren't. That you had been there. And I remember not. I couldn't get my head around. I was like, wait, wow. Well, what did he. What happened? And I couldn't figure. I was like, no one. I was like. I was not happy.

[Adam Carolla]

The security guards are weird. I've learned two things, like, in life, like, people just have a kind of psychology, which is. And I'll tell you how it works. Almost every loan I've ever applied for, the posture of the person that was doing the loan acted like they were giving me their money. Like, in terms of their attitude, they sit there with their arms folded, and they're like, so, what are you gonna do with the car? And then how do I know you're not? And they're like, I've told people in the middle of loans. Like, you should drop your attitude because your business is you loan me money and then I pay you back with interest. And that's your. You're acting like I told you, run out of your car and grab change out of the ashtray and bring it back to my car.

[Joel McHale]

They're probably.

[Adam Carolla]

But there's something that happens. You see what I'm saying?

[Gina Grad]

Power dynamic.

[Adam Carolla]

It doesn't happen when you sell churros because you're like, you want people to come to your cart and give them a churro. Security guards act like it's their building.

[Joel McHale]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Even though they're the lowest person on the totem pole. Anyone who's tried to get onto a lot where they shoot things, the person that gets paid the least on the lot is the person that mans the one by six that goes up and down and lets you in and out a lot. But that person acts like they own the lot.

[Brian Bishop]

A literal gatekeeper.

[Adam Carolla]

Because they're stupid. And that's how stupid people act when you put them in charge of the gate. So the person who's the dumbest person in the building who makes the least per hour is the person in charge of whether you get to go upstairs or not. And it's not gonna happen on his watch. That was a weird thing. I was like, well, then call them. He's like, can't do it. Yeah, it's just. Well, you got a phone, right?

[Joel McHale]

There's no. And there's no reason for him not to pick up the phone. And if you had gotten any other guy, it would have been like, oh, yeah, hold on.

[Adam Carolla]

Who cares? That's right.

[Joel McHale]

All of a sudden, the person becomes a Navy seal. Well, they have that amount of skill set.

[Adam Carolla]

And we got a lot of made up movies queued up. So I think what we should do is take a quick.

[Joel McHale]

People have called in with the names and.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And we shall come right back with Joel McHale and made up movie. I'm a robot vacuum cleaner. So yeah, I got one gig.

[Joel McHale]

I suck up dirt.

[Adam Carolla]

So pardon my inferiority complex about Geico, who does so much more. Like, not only could they save their customers money on car insurance, but they got fast and friendly claim service too. And an award winning mobile app, plus.

[Brian Bishop]

Access to licensed agents 24.

[Adam Carolla]

7. Who am I kidding?

[Brian Bishop]

I can't even do corners.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, choking hazard.

[Gina Grad]

Popcorn girdles.

[Joel McHale]

Geico.

[Adam Carolla]

Expect great savings and a whole lot more. In a world where titles are many and plots are few, one man can take your movie names and make them come to Life. What is going on? Adam, Carolyn stars in made up movie. All right, Joel McHale is here. I will ask you guys to look at the screen. And don't shout anything out, but take a look at some of the movie titles and think about some of the ones that may speak to you. I will first tell you about hims. Hims sexual performance issues are more common than you think. 25%. That's right. 25% of ED cases are guys under 40. Oh, that means one of us. Oh, no, wait a minute.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm raising something.

[Jason Sklar]

This line.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Joel McHale]

So you go, can I get some for a friend?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'll tell you how to do it. Go to4hims.com, one stop. Shop for any hair loss, skin care, sexual wellness, and more. No herbal supplements, medical grade solutions and generic equivalents of name brand prescriptions, including an ED pill that starts with V. You guys could probably do that math. No waiting room, no awkward doctor visits, none of that. Try hims and you can do it Hims for a month today. Just five bucks while supplies last. See the website for full details. This would cost hundreds if you went to a doctor or pharmacy.

[Joel McHale]

We have samples here in the studio.

[Adam Carolla]

We got a box in the back. Put a blindfold on you and you reach. Go to and for. Sorry. Go to 4 hims. H I m s 4 for hims.com for hims.com Adam F O R h I m s.com Adam and get the deal. All right, let's. So are you cool?

[Joel McHale]

Is it cool that to know that guys are like, I'm gonna get this erection going and I'm gonna think about Adam Carolla now.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'm flattered.

[Joel McHale]

I'm.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm flattered by that.

[Brian Bishop]

Great.

[Adam Carolla]

I really am.

[Brian Bishop]

Performance, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's better than thinking about baseball. Adam, what is your.

[Joel McHale]

Your wedding ring made of?

[Adam Carolla]

I asked that yesterday. I've been asked this a lot. Okay.

[Joel McHale]

It's so exciting. Is it a car part?

[Brian Bishop]

When it's crystallized tears.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta do. I gotta do something about this. I was asked last night by my nanny about this wedding ring. What had happened is this. I had a gold wedding ban and I have a knuckle that has been damaged. And it was like a devil.

[Brian Bishop]

It looks like a large pea under your. The skin of your knuckle.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's. It's so hard, like you're punching. It's rock hard. Knuckle. It is a rock hard.

[Brian Bishop]

You may touch the knuckle.

[Adam Carolla]

It is a It is. It is rock.

[Jason Sklar]

Look at that.

[Adam Carolla]

It is rock hard. And so do I have a bone if it's a calcium deposit or something. There's something going on from too much boxing in my youth. So what happens is, if I try to take my wedding ring off to hit the heavy bag, throw some weights around, or bang astray on the road.

[Brian Bishop]

What?

[Joel McHale]

You said, bang astray on the road.

[Adam Carolla]

I said hit a heavy bag.

[Brian Bishop]

I said adopt astray.

[Adam Carolla]

I said throw some weights around. What did you hear? That's pretty much.

[Joel McHale]

Then you said, I feel like Gina. You heard it. Bang astray on the road.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I think you must have mistook that with hit the heavy back.

[Joel McHale]

It's hard to.

[Adam Carolla]

I just did the two.

[Joel McHale]

Brian, did you hear him say bang astray on the road?

[Brian Bishop]

I do say it.

[Gina Grad]

I heard you say three times.

[Adam Carolla]

Why would I be. Well, could you take it back? Because Lynette listens to the show.

[Joel McHale]

No, I mean, look, look, I. Did you guys hear it?

[Adam Carolla]

They heard the heavy bag, right? Heavy bag.

[Joel McHale]

Throw some weights around.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Joel McHale]

Okay, I'm gonna.

[Adam Carolla]

That's strangely specific, Joel.

[Joel McHale]

So then if you could just. Why don't we start over? Why don't we just start that over like. So when you.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so. Okay, so whether I wanted to hit the double ended bag.

[Joel McHale]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Or do some bench press.

[Jason Sklar]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Or fuck a groupie. I. I realized that I needed to take the ring off.

[Joel McHale]

You just fuck a groupie, right?

[Gina Grad]

What?

[Brian Bishop]

You just said it. That's weird.

[Gina Grad]

That's very offensive.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know what groupies are as a type of fish.

[Joel McHale]

Why. Why would I.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. I used to box.

[Joel McHale]

I. I know.

[Adam Carolla]

And I hit a double.

[Joel McHale]

Hammer is one of my favorite romantic comedies ever.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm. I'm glad you like.

[Gina Grad]

I.

[Adam Carolla]

There's. They have a double ended bag. Right. You can work on your timing.

[Joel McHale]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

With that. But you'd want to take your wedding ring off.

[Joel McHale]

And if you wanted to lift weights, you can't wear the wedding because.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, no. To pinch against the barbell or what? I mean, the bell, right? Or to what? Or to. Heavy bag. Heavy bag. Dumbbell.

[Joel McHale]

To take your.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Joel McHale]

Well, to take your ring off you for other things. Such as?

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I don't.

[Joel McHale]

Because I've heard you. I heard you say a groupie.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I heard. You got to worry about sometimes what you're thinking versus what you're saying.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean?

[Joel McHale]

I'm gonna.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. I feel like. I feel like you're thinking it.

[Joel McHale]

I'll let you get I'm so sorry. Okay, you're. Let's. Why don't you get through with your thoughts? So you have to take your wedding ring off to do just hit a speed bag, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Sometimes even skip bro. Plow a stranger, Right?

[Joel McHale]

So, okay, you just said plow a stranger. Is that part you said plow a stranger. You heard it right, Gina?

[Gina Grad]

I said hashtag. Me too. I don't like this language and I'd like you to leave.

[Adam Carolla]

I said skip bro.

[Joel McHale]

I didn't say it was non consensual.

[Adam Carolla]

I gave you a lot of examp, Joel. I said skip rope. I said speed bag. I said double ended bag. I said heavy bag. I said barbell. And I said dumbbell. Now, if those aren't six enough examples for you, why I have to take my wedding ring off and why you have to stray into this world where.

[Joel McHale]

Look, I swear, when you play this.

[Adam Carolla]

Back, you accuse me of banging Jeanine, a 31 year old, thrice divorced mother of three, who I keep an apartment in Seattle. When you come out with those kinds of accusations.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, you just said 31 year old mother of three who lives in Seattle.

[Joel McHale]

You have an apartment for. Her name is Janine, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

I said dumbbell. I said heavy bag. I said speed bag. I don't even know how you know Jeanine. You know this Janine, so you said Janine. You're saying Janine, 31 years old, mother's name. Do you know my Janine? That's what I'm saying. So I don't even know what you're talking about.

[Joel McHale]

Wait, you're. So now you are saying you know Janine?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm saying you keep saying Janine, and if you keep talking shit about my little girl, I'm gonna go upside your head.

[Joel McHale]

Little girl. She's a mom of three.

[Adam Carolla]

Leave my daughter out of this. All I know is you're throwing out random names.

[Joel McHale]

Your daughter is not named Janine.

[Adam Carolla]

My daughter's named Natalia. Right. And don't you evoke her name. You understand? She would not be happy if she heard you bringing up her name. You can't, Joel.

[Gina Grad]

You've always been such a polite guest.

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus Christ. This is uncomfortable.

[Joel McHale]

It just seems like every time you ramp into the stuff that you like to do without your wedding ring on, you go, well, this is a practical purpose. I need to box with it because it'll hurt. I need to lift weights and I need to take it off because you could pinch the skin. And then you say, plow a stranger. You say, this woman that you Keep in Seattle named Janine, who's a mother of three.

[Adam Carolla]

You said those things. Or bang, stray on the road. I don't even want to dignify that with an answer, but Janine blows me.

[Joel McHale]

So why would I take.

[Adam Carolla]

Take the ring off? How would that cause any friction blows me?

[Joel McHale]

You said it.

[Adam Carolla]

You are saying Janine blows you. I don't know who Janine is.

[Joel McHale]

You said Janine was your daughter, your little girl.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sorry we started off so well, but you sicken me. You sicken me. You sicken me.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't.

[Joel McHale]

I don't know why you guys. Okay, you know what? So you take the ring off.

[Adam Carolla]

I do. Because I still enjoy the sweet science of boxing and banging. Janine and I go into the gym or the apartment on Queen Mary, and I'm able to perform. Okay? And I wish you'd stop turning this in some sort of salacious direction like, you know, you do with, I don't know, Kevin Hart or Paul Reis or Alison Bray or one of the other guests that may show up on one of your first episodes of Joel McHale show, which only Kale, which premieres Sunday, February 18th on Netflix. So if we could just kind of move forward and do made up movie. Normally we have a good time when you come in the studio.

[Joel McHale]

You know, I'm just not gonna talk about you getting blown by Janine, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God, I don't even know who Janine is.

[Joel McHale]

Okay, okay, you're right.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how you know who she is. And I've never heard that name before. And when I tell her you were talking shit, she's gonna be pissed.

[Brian Bishop]

If you've never heard the name before.

[Adam Carolla]

How can you tell her? Well, of course I've heard the name Janine. I went to junior high with like six Janine.

[Gina Grad]

It's a real name.

[Adam Carolla]

Doesn't mean I'm currently plowing them. She's going to be pissed.

[Brian Bishop]

I think I can clear this up, you guys. I went back, I look out the tape and I. I think I know, but Joel heard.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's.

[Brian Bishop]

Let's listen. If he heard, in fact, plow a stranger.

[Joel McHale]

Plow a stranger.

[Brian Bishop]

See, you said. You said it.

[Adam Carolla]

You were the one. I was quoting him.

[Brian Bishop]

Play it again.

[Joel McHale]

Plow a stranger.

[Adam Carolla]

Janine is no stranger. We've had ongoing affair for seven years. Okay, guys? So please watch. An ongoing affair for seven years. Why would you. Why would you make these allocations wild?

[Brian Bishop]

Allocations?

[Adam Carolla]

My children. Listen to this podcast.

[Gina Grad]

Jake's name's on the sign.

[Adam Carolla]

Your daughter, Janine. No, I don't even know who Jeanine is. My daughter's name. Natalia. Thank you. And I'd ask you not to bring her name into this conversation.

[Joel McHale]

Can you not know Janine when you literally just.

[Adam Carolla]

Just said that just seconds ago that.

[Joel McHale]

She'S gonna be pissed when she hears about this?

[Adam Carolla]

My daughter Natalia is gonna be very upset when she hears about what you said about my gal, Jeanine. Okay. I don't even know who Jeanine is. All right?

[Joel McHale]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. And I don't even know her last name. We've agreed not to use last name. So I have no idea what you're saying in my studio right now.

[Joel McHale]

You just said. Second. You just mumbled. We've agreed not to use last names.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. I said. Okay, please, one more time. Hit the heavy bag.

[Joel McHale]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Hit the speed bag. Right. Double ended bag. Okay. Barbells. Right. Dumbbell. Skip rope.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. That's all. I. I mean.

[Adam Carolla]

Take Janine from behind. That's all I can think.

[Brian Bishop]

You said, take Janine from behind.

[Gina Grad]

You just said it.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know who this person is, and I don't know why you're obsessed with her. It's just that you keep saying. And then you say you haven't said it. And no one. Thank God. I have witnesses.

[Brian Bishop]

I have witness Episode.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Joel, you're going to have to check the tape and then check yourself. Oh, God. You know what, Brian? Do you have it?

[Brian Bishop]

I got a different section.

[Adam Carolla]

He's going to edit it down and he's going to put my voice in there. I don't.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't record, man.

[Joel McHale]

Janine takes me from behind. That's what you said.

[Brian Bishop]

Let's hear it.

[Adam Carolla]

What you and Janine do is your business. That's.

[Joel McHale]

I'm quoting.

[Adam Carolla]

As long as another Gene. I'm not fucking. What would you. Huh?

[Brian Bishop]

You just said, as long as there's.

[Joel McHale]

Not another Janine I'm not fucking.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, Joel, what you and this magical person named Janine do is your business. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I don't care. Go ahead. Except for this weekend. Go ahead.

[Brian Bishop]

Fuck a groupie.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God. Is that what you do on the road?

[Brian Bishop]

I see why you would think.

[Gina Grad]

How unbelievable. I thought you were a nice guy.

[Brian Bishop]

Guy.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. And steam. Thank you, Joe. McAu.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, no, not steam. Let's keep going.

[Adam Carolla]

So anyway, my nanny said to me.

[Joel McHale]

Your nanny?

[Adam Carolla]

My nanny.

[Joel McHale]

Your nanny.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. She said to me, like, I don't need this for my goddamn nanny. She said, last night, okay, so I did a show in Vegas. We did a show at Caesars. When I was done with the show, a guy handed me this O ring, rubber gasket, wedding ring. And he said, use this, because your ring won't come off. If you ever want to bang Janine, you have to pull your ring, and it gets caught up on this big. This big calcium deposit of it. It's like, it literally won't come off. And if you want to hit the speed bag or something, you want to take it off. So he handed me this, and I've been wearing it ever since. And everyone always asks what it is, but they make them, like, in black. I think I need one in black. That's what, like, the athletes wear or something like the Christian athlet.

[Joel McHale]

If I look up O ring, rubber wedding ring, that will. They'll. That'll come up.

[Adam Carolla]

Look up, like, workout wedding ring or something. It's for guys who, like, have to practice stuff and, like, don't take the ring on and off.

[Brian Bishop]

If you get it in black, you can always, in a pinch, you know, say, oh, my wife just died.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm in mourning.

[Brian Bishop]

I need, you know, a soft.

[Adam Carolla]

Or you use it as a cock ring with Janine.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You get it big enough, you use.

[Joel McHale]

It as a cock ring with Janine.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. What you and Janine do is your business, Joel. And I don't even know why you would verbalize it. You have to hit the heavy bag on occasion. So here's the thing. Let me ask you this. If you're. I don't know if your nanny does this to you, Joel. I don't need my nanny doing this to me. In the kitchen last night, she's like, so what do you. What's. What is that? I said, it's the wedding ring. She says, why? I said, well, the other one I can't take on and off like. And stuff, and my knuckles screwed up, so I just wear this one. And then she goes. Goes super sarcastically, oh, you scared women are gonna bother you on the road? And I'm like, why is that not a possibility? Bitch, I was in D.C. last week. There are plenty of chicks there. It's a possibility.

[Gina Grad]

There's tons of people in line with Zoo.

[Adam Carolla]

Why are you ruling this out?

[Joel McHale]

I like how you go home and you get heckled by. Yes, I get heckled by people that you pay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Every once in a while, we have this routine worked out where I go, now, listen, everybody. I don't like to talk about myself. And she goes, no.

[Brian Bishop]

She'S your Bob Zamuda.

[Joel McHale]

She from a different country.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Is Guatemala in this country?

[Gina Grad]

The protectorate?

[Brian Bishop]

A lot of them are, but no, the country itself.

[Adam Carolla]

The country itself, yeah. She's from a place that's not here.

[Joel McHale]

And she is able. She obviously can get. English is her second language. And she knows still how to give you shit.

[Adam Carolla]

She loves it. She likes. She listens to the podcast. She cracks up.

[Gina Grad]

And if Adam tries to get on the counter, she kicks him in the ribs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she'll kick anyone in the ribs who tries to do anything. Like my dog Phil. And she also does, like, she's good for stories, like, I will tell my kid. You know, when Olga came here on her donkey 31 years ago, she didn't have the kind of money that you guys are worried about, which Tesla you're getting. Well, her donkey had no plug in port, you know, and stuff like that. And it's a good. It's a life lesson thing.

[Joel McHale]

And do you think the kids get those lessons and they're like, thanks, dad. Anyway, which vintage Lamborghini should we take to school, do you think? Like, that was a great lesson.

[Adam Carolla]

My kids. My Natalia explained to me the other day that she was gonna save me money when she got to high school by driving my Lamborghini Miura sv, thus not having to purchase her a used Camry.

[Joel McHale]

Ooh, I like the way she thinks.

[Adam Carolla]

She's thinking smart. All right, do we have movies?

[Joel McHale]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

That people like? Do we have titles? Does anyone have a feeling? I barely look up.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Joel McHale]

I like sailing September 14 through 17. I think we should do the movie. Sailing September 14 to 17.

[Adam Carolla]

That's us. We'll be at the Moore Theater the night before, and then we'll be on the cruise. 50 rooms, just added. I like that. 50 rooms. 50 rooms to the boat. We sell these things out. They were already there. They added them to the package.

[Joel McHale]

So there was going to be people on this cruise without knowing it, if those rooms are still available.

[Adam Carolla]

No, what they've done is, for instance, I get a suite, right? So it'll just be me and Lynette and Sunny and Natalia and maybe Olga and then Janine in another room down the hall.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Joel McHale]

You all fucking heard that, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Natalia. Sonny's getting a sweet Olga. Lynette in the suite.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And then Gina in a room and Brian in a room.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Gina down. They add a room and Gina in the room.

[Joel McHale]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

There.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Joel McHale]

And nothing else?

[Adam Carolla]

No. Well, I don't know. I may have inhaled or something, but not audibly. Okay.

[Joel McHale]

Okay. Janine takes me from behind.

[Brian Bishop]

That's maybe what you're.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God. Is that what you're into?

[Adam Carolla]

That's what you're thinking about?

[Gina Grad]

That's called pegging.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Sorry.

[Joel McHale]

It is.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, sorry. Brian, you like a movie up there? Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Andrew. Andrew from Kentucky has one.

[Adam Carolla]

I can go off of Andrew from Kentucky.

[Joel McHale]

You guys wanna. I do 50 rooms added.

[Adam Carolla]

Andrew.

[Joel McHale]

It's a lot like that Disney one where they take over the ski lodge and they.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm laughing. Go ahead, Andrew. Kentucky Ace. Good to talk to you guys. Good to talk to you, man. My movie is Never have I Ever. Never have I Ever.

[Brian Bishop]

Gina, you're probably familiar with the game, the drinking game. I mean, familiar with this. You know what this is?

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

Your daughter, if she's not playing it already, we'll someday soon play this. It's a drinking game, but you can just play it with your friends or whatever, you know.

[Joel McHale]

You play drinking games at this age?

[Brian Bishop]

No, but that leads me to my idea. Hold on a second. Never have I Ever is. The idea is like, oh, you're all sitting in a circle, maybe five, eight people, whatever. You're like, okay, never have I ever cheated on a test. And everyone who, you know who did that thing drinks. And if you haven't, then you sit out, never have I ever, you know, had sex on the first date. You know, drink. If you're that person who has done that, that. So a group of recently graduated sorority sisters. Right? They lived the life. They did the four years, and now they're, you know, in the real world, but they still get together and do the drinking games. You know, the early 20s, mid-20s. Let's say it's Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone.

[Joel McHale]

What's the sound design?

[Brian Bishop]

We're getting there.

[Adam Carolla]

So, like, Emma Stone would be like, never have. I think this.

[Joel McHale]

I mean, who would be doing the sound design?

[Adam Carolla]

You had to know this was going to come back. Sam Stone. Be like, never have I ever finished in Janine's hair.

[Gina Grad]

That's what she might say.

[Brian Bishop]

And then Janine, he's honest.

[Adam Carolla]

Said it so many times.

[Jason Sklar]

What's that?

[Brian Bishop]

The old.

[Adam Carolla]

Some sort of sex act with.

[Joel McHale]

With Janine.

[Adam Carolla]

Who then? Nobody.

[Brian Bishop]

Going with this.

[Gina Grad]

So Janine Garo.

[Brian Bishop]

Janine is played by. Oh, stunt casting. Because Janine's.

[Adam Carolla]

You heard him say Janine, and now you're saying Janine. Take notes of your said Janine.

[Gina Grad]

We're just going off your idea.

[Brian Bishop]

Improv training. Improv so Lindsay Lohan plays Janine.

[Adam Carolla]

Ooh, I like this.

[Brian Bishop]

She's the good girl. All the girls are drinking.

[Adam Carolla]

Are we saying that Lindsay Lohan's having a comeback in this? I mean, absolutely.

[Brian Bishop]

And she's the good girl. She's Janine. She's sitting there with her little red solo cup, and all the girls are like, never have I ever had sex in the first. Hey, they're drinking. Half of them drink. Half of them drink. Never, ever done this. Never have ever done that.

[Joel McHale]

And then production shuts down for a month and a half because Lindsay Lohan's.

[Brian Bishop]

Sitting there with a cup. She's not drinking anything. Janine hasn't lived the life like she.

[Adam Carolla]

Was the good girl. She's never.

[Brian Bishop]

And much like, remember the last detail with Jack Nicholson? And they took the guy out before he's going to go to jail. And they took him out, like, to, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think that was Quaid.

[Brian Bishop]

It was a young Randy Quaid.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

So they took a guy out to have a crazy.

[Joel McHale]

His career's turned out great. Let's get him in this movie.

[Brian Bishop]

You can get him on your.

[Joel McHale]

We have to shoot it in Canada.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes.

[Brian Bishop]

So, Janine, this is it. We're committing the next. The next week to. We're going to catch Janine up to life.

[Adam Carolla]

So she never drinks from the cup. We realize she's had no life. And we must go out and lay.

[Brian Bishop]

All the other girls. The Emma Stone and the Jennifer Lawrence, they're all going to get refills. You know, life, it's been.

[Gina Grad]

They finally notice.

[Brian Bishop]

We got to get Janine up to speed. And then it becomes a.

[Joel McHale]

Why is it only white girls, Brian?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, Tiffany Haddish is there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Tiffany Haddish is in this. She's the horny one.

[Brian Bishop]

Tessa Thompson's there. She's age appropriate. That's right.

[Joel McHale]

Okay, right.

[Adam Carolla]

And, and, and. And she finds love along the way. Sure. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

We find out that maybe. Maybe she's a virgin. She has never had sex.

[Adam Carolla]

She meets Chris Pratt.

[Brian Bishop]

There you go.

[Adam Carolla]

Along the way.

[Joel McHale]

Yeah, but. But, guys, who's the director of photography? I mean, what are we talking here?

[Adam Carolla]

Movies, they don't just show up some.

[Joel McHale]

Sound stage and it just begins filming it.

[Brian Bishop]

You've been in a couple more movies than I have, Joel.

[Joel McHale]

I mean, it has to be shot again. Sound is not a silent movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. Hey, Andrew. Making a hit. It's a hit.

[Brian Bishop]

This is a good idea.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a hit. All right, now, do we have an end for it? She finds Love.

[Brian Bishop]

Does she.

[Gina Grad]

Does she feel terrible about herself?

[Brian Bishop]

She starts to dip her toe into the crazy waters and she realizes. Realizes this is, you know, maybe a little too much for me.

[Gina Grad]

Not for her.

[Brian Bishop]

Maybe she convinces some of the other girls who are going down the wrong path, you know, pull it back a little bit.

[Joel McHale]

Does she meet the man of her dreams along the way?

[Adam Carolla]

I say Chris Pratt is like. He's like the six year senior big man on campus at the Delta house, and he's tired of all the floozies and chicks throwing themselves at him. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Maybe that's one of the. I've never once have I been with Joey Johnson. He. They all drink except Janine.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right, right, right. Yeah. He's tumbling.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know if that's a selling point.

[Gina Grad]

Joey Johnson.

[Adam Carolla]

Joey Johnson. All right, but Andrew likes it.

[Joel McHale]

But set design isn't something you just will be shooting it. You'll just assume you could just show up to people's homes and just start shooting there.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Gina, you got one you like?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I. I kind of like.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. Does Joel have one he likes?

[Joel McHale]

Oh, yeah, I want to do. I want to do line two. A movie called Line two.

[Adam Carolla]

There's no one on line two. That's not a title.

[Joel McHale]

Line two.

[Gina Grad]

Gosh, A strong horror movie title.

[Jason Sklar]

All right.

[Joel McHale]

I would like to call it Thunder Valley Casino.

[Adam Carolla]

Thunder Valley Casino. I'll be there for Sacramento.

[Joel McHale]

March 2.

[Adam Carolla]

March 2. But I think Plow a Stranger.

[Gina Grad]

Casino.

[Joel McHale]

That was a quote about what he does to Janine.

[Gina Grad]

Always turning it around on other people.

[Joel McHale]

Plow a stranger. You guys, you know when you point.

[Gina Grad]

One finger, there's three pointing back at you.

[Joel McHale]

Not if you go like this.

[Gina Grad]

That's true.

[Adam Carolla]

When I text Janine what you said, she's gonna be livid.

[Brian Bishop]

Brian is laughing at what you're saying about Janine. I coughed.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, he has a frog in his throat.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, enough with this mischief.

[Joel McHale]

Yeah, I got a movie I like.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

Gina.

[Joel McHale]

It's called Brandon 37.

[Adam Carolla]

Brandon 37.

[Joel McHale]

By the guy in San Antonio.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Brandon 37, San Antonio. Yeah. What's going on? Oh, just sitting here listening to you guys having a good time. How's everybody doing? We're doing well. Yeah. You got a movie tit.

[Gina Grad]

Yep.

[Joel McHale]

Adam doesn't have a mistress in Seattle. Nope, Nope. No mention of that in Queen Anne Hill.

[Adam Carolla]

And I kind of stay long enough last time he was in San Antonio to pick one up here. But there's senoritas for him. Anyway, the movie title don't Stray, but go ahead. Shelby's Cobra.

[Gina Grad]

Shelby's Cobra.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's interesting time we're living in because the go like hell movie, the Shelby Ferrari or Ford Ferrari doc got optioned by like Tom Cruise's company. And then we just realized somebody just said in the news that the next one we made A doc, the 24 Hour War, they option they didn't say the source material. Maybe it was our doc. But they're going to do another movie about Ferrari versus Ford. So there'll be Shelby in there and then we're doing a Shelby Carroll Shelby doc.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

That his kids have commissioned.

[Joel McHale]

And then you're doing that submarine documentary about the short lived time when Fiat was making submarines.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. That's right.

[Joel McHale]

Is this part of the bit or you actually made these documentaries? I feel like we should continue with these are.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a sidebar.

[Joel McHale]

Oh, I know they're real Shelby.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, James Mangle is going to do the Ferrari project for Fox. So that'll be be interesting. Really?

[Brian Bishop]

This is all true.

[Adam Carolla]

This is all true. Just since we made this stock, someone's decided they should make. I'm not saying it's based on us, I'm just saying.

[Joel McHale]

And Tom Cruise is making the other one.

[Adam Carolla]

Tom Cruise has got the other one. Christian Bale has got the other one. And the other thing that's interesting, I don't know if I spoke about this, but in our documentary we highlighted a guy named Ken Miles. Ken Miles is not a name that anyone knows, but Ken Miles had this perfect and tragic life. If you're making a movie which is Ken Miles won at the Triple Crown would be winning at Daytona, 24 hours at Daytona, winning at the 12 hours of Sebring and then going to France and winning at le Mans, the 24 hour Le Mans. Ken Miles was this perfect gentleman, English guy like engineer, whatever. He was about to win. He's about to be the only guy to ever win the Triple Crown by winning at Le Mans. He was out to a huge lead with just a couple laps left and Ford the second Henry Ford II like radioed down and he said, I want a 1, 2, 3 finish. I don't want Ken Miles out front in a Ford GT40 and then another guy lap behind him. And then they were going to finish 1, 2, 3. But he said, I want a photo finish. I want them all going across the finish line together. So tell Ken Miles to slow down and let the other guys catch up to him. And he resisted at first and then eventually he did and the Others caught up to him and he let him catch up to him. And they crossed for the photo finish. And then he went to go take the trophy as the winner of Le Mans as the only guy to ever win the triple Crown in one year. And he went over the podium and they said, you came in second. And he said, what happened? Lamar lines up in a right to left and it's an endurance race. And the guy who finished equal with him, his car was 17ft behind when the race started with the way they lined it up. He qualified before this guy and this guy qualified two cars away, 17ft away from him, and they went. He covered more distance than you did in the same amount of time. Ken Miles was heartbroken. He came back here and he died testing a GT40amonth later. And nobody knows his story, but they want to do the Ken in the write up on this. They want to feature Ken Miles who was featured in our doc. So that's not a relatable character level. It's not a Shelby Ferrari thing. It's kind of a Ken Mile. Like if you're looking for a story within the big story would be Ken Miles.

[Joel McHale]

And that's the story of Shelby's Cobra.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry, Brandon.

[Joel McHale]

That's it, Brandon, but you got to learn that stuff. That was a. I.

[Gina Grad]

You're welcome.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a good tutorial. Joe from Pittsburgh. Sweet street justice. We'll do that next time. I'm bringing it. I'm bringing it. Adam Corolla will return in May. Movie Part 250 rooms added. The Joel McHale show with Joe McHale premieres this Sunday, February 18th. Upcoming live shows Addison. Coming up, Columbus, Ohio.

[Joel McHale]

Coming up this weekend.

[Adam Carolla]

This weekend. God bless you. Second story. Wanted to kill myself. That is Joel, what are you gonna.

[Brian Bishop]

Do when you're on the road?

[Joel McHale]

Plow a stranger?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

Now you're just.

[Joel McHale]

That's just entrapped.

[Gina Grad]

Terrible way to. To leave.

[Joel McHale]

I supported you.

[Adam Carolla]

You should go to.

[Joel McHale]

I wanted you to have this job. And when Adam said, there's no way Brian is coming with me to the Internet, I was like, you know what?

[Brian Bishop]

You give me a lot to think about.

[Joel McHale]

I. I yelled at him for a long time. And then.

[Adam Carolla]

Go ahead, Joel McHale.com is where you go for all the live dates. And then of course, a stupid, futile j. You're very funny on Netflix. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you say. What did you say?

[Jason Sklar]

Fuck.

[Brian Bishop]

Ruby.

[Adam Carolla]

We will take a quick break. Joel, enough about future plans for the road. We have to take a break. Be right back with the news, dad. Hang on. After this, it's time for Nicaraguan Name that movie with Adam's buddy Oswaldo. See if you can guess which movie this famous line is from. From no wire hanger. If you said mommy dearest, no W hanger, you're correct. Now back to the show. Well, I want to thank Simply Save for being part of this second segment. Go to simply safe.com get 24. 7 protection, 15 bucks a month. Of course, Geico. Get the 15% off or more on your car [e-mail] don't we love Joel McHale.

[Gina Grad]

Oh my God.

[Brian Bishop]

Far too infrequent a guest.

[Gina Grad]

He is so freaking funny and makes everybody, you know, funnier and have more fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Quick review. Bald Brian astutely brought this up many years ago, which is the three guests that were radio death on my morning show at Kaylis X. So says program director.

[Brian Bishop]

I think you know three about programming, peeps.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, you've been in the business for titties jugs, right? Oh, wing ball.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, wing back is four things.

[Adam Carolla]

Wing ball. I always love.

[Jason Sklar]

I give.

[Adam Carolla]

It's big in Philly, peeps. Just. I love. I love when people give me answers like that. Where I go, why should we do the wing bowl on a radio show?

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, man, it's huge in Philly. They sell on arenas, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Phillies and number nine market. We're number two. So why are we doing what the number nine market does? Right.

[Brian Bishop]

But if it's huge in Philly, multiply.

[Adam Carolla]

It by what does Philly in la. Sorry, Jack. Jack. Now there we have a lot of comedians roll through here.

[Brian Bishop]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Do we have a lot of chicks like. I know the ones you like. The sort of cooch patrol, the low rider chicks with the big asses. Funny and hot. Yeah, yeah. The ones that give like the Vita Guerra or whatever their names are.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. Christine Dolce.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they give lots, lots of booty queens a lot of advice about do's and don'ts of dating and stuff like that.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, it's not funny. It's practical.

[Adam Carolla]

I would argue though, much like the wing bowl, sort of a visual media, you know what I mean? Like chick with a nice ass who can't really talk or construct a thought.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, the perfect woman.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. But anyway, there are other guests you're not so fond of.

[Brian Bishop]

The ones that aren't as funny or interesting to look at or don't have boobs.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So this is 2008. So says Jack Silver, who is radio death on this morning radio show, one.

[Brian Bishop]

Of the first Guests we ever had on was on way too long. A kid by the name of Zach Galifianakis. Zach Galifianakis, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

He's on the show for like three or four segments. Way too long.

[Adam Carolla]

Too much to not have him back.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a cliche for a reason. Too much Galifianakis.

[Adam Carolla]

He's going nowhere. Okay, so that.

[Brian Bishop]

I think I made my point.

[Adam Carolla]

That kid's not. Shouldn't quit a staging. We can hang around. No, but I mean not be on the radio.

[Brian Bishop]

Please don't.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so Jack was it? Or Zach. I can't. I know he's coming in.

[Brian Bishop]

There's only one Jack.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, Zach Galifianakis is one. Who else? Radio death, Louis C.K.

[Brian Bishop]

Not funny. I'll just say it. Not funny. I know. Funny.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. Not funny. All right, so Radio Death.

[Brian Bishop]

He's no John or Jeff.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. John and Jeff. That's right. I miss John and Jeff. I miss John and Jeff. I really do.

[Gina Grad]

The third show.

[Adam Carolla]

They inspire those who think they can't do radio.

[Brian Bishop]

You miss John and Jeff? They're still doing the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. Miss.

[Brian Bishop]

They're in the studio just talking in a microphone. They're not plugged in. They haven't been plugged in for years.

[Adam Carolla]

2008, Jack Silver says Zach Galifianakis, Louis CK and the third, Radio Dan Trifecta, Joel McHale. I remember conversations with Jack Rod. Go. Joel McHale is super funny and he brings it every time. And Jack was like, 0 for 2.

[Brian Bishop]

There he is, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Every. But every Friday. And I was like, look, I'm down.

[Brian Bishop]

With super funny and brings everybody time, but every week.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. And I'm like, look, we got four hours a day to fill. Joel comes in filled with clips from the soup, and he's super funny. Why wouldn't you. Why wouldn't you dive on that and hold on to it with both hands? As a, as a, as a reoccurring segment? It's like, I'm just saying, Ace, man. Can we do it like once a month?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, there's plenty other ways to fill four hours a day. You could blow callers up. You could have them call in and, like, tell them name it, something not so lame, like be funny, but not that lame. Like have them call up and tell jokes, and then you just sit back and laugh every, you know, few seconds. But have them tell the jokes. There's lots of ways to fill up four hours.

[Gina Grad]

They can call you dad or the professor.

[Brian Bishop]

How about one?

[Adam Carolla]

How about how about weather and traffic and time. Time and temp.

[Brian Bishop]

This ain't Radio 101, Ace. Man, I feel like you move past that, you should be doing that already.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so those were the three that the great Jack Silver labeled this radio.

[Brian Bishop]

Now there goes a man.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I kind of like.

[Brian Bishop]

I do like that Jack somehow hit the trifecta of the most popular movie, TV and stand up comedians at that time in history. Like, soon to be the most popular movie, TV and stand up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it'd be like saying, look, I've been working at this stock exchange for a long time and I can tell you, you stay away from Amazon, Facebook and Tesla. Tesla, Amazon. And if you're even thinking about. Yeah, but it's like 1999, if you think you're going anywhere near Apple. What is this, Google or something called Uber? Run, don't walk, run.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the scene from Defending your Life. He's like, the Swiss keep the time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, Seiko's coming out with a watch.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, the Swiss keep the time. Japanese, they make a hell of a sports. They make a gallon or whatever. He said he just guessed him.

[Adam Carolla]

Whatever happened to those cattle?

[Gina Grad]

I never got a straight answer.

[Brian Bishop]

Last I heard, they ran away, their.

[Adam Carolla]

Teeth fell out and I never got a straight answer. All right, this is damn exciting stuff. Let's do a little new, shall we? Let's do it. Give me the News with Grad. News with Gina Grad. Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me News with Gina Grad. Trouble in the Middle East. Celebrity drunk meltdown seek. News with Gina. Gina. The News with Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

CNN reports that a United flight made an emergency landing in Honolulu on Tuesday after a piece of the COVID came off the right engine. On a flight from San Francisco, passenger Jeff Carter said he heard a big metallic bang. Then the plane began to shake. A United spokesman said that the pilot safely landed at the intended airport and the passengers got off as they normally would. Boeing 777 has two engines. Here's a clip. I don't know how important this is, but it certainly scared the passengers and made the.

[Adam Carolla]

I wanted my 777. There should be a big shroud. It's a big sheet metal shroud that goes around to cover the engine.

[Brian Bishop]

That's just better. Air intake.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's going to affect the aerodynamics of it.

[Gina Grad]

But I was going to say affect.

[Adam Carolla]

The flight of it.

[Gina Grad]

No, I mean because then you see.

[Adam Carolla]

Airplanes for what they do are insanely durable. Yeah, like self fixing in a way. Well, yeah, I don't know if self fixing is quite the way to put it, but what I'm. What I'm saying is, is like they can fly on one engine, which seems bizarre to me. Like, all this thrust so far out on one side of the plane, and they literally can fly with one engine. These bombers that would come back from World War II with entire tail stabs shot off with like holes all the way through it. And I'll tell you where you kind of learned this in a weird but sort of rudimentary way, is if you ever fly, like remote control model airplanes, you'd be amazed at how much junk can break off and can kind of go south and whatever. And the plane still sort of. It flies like it kind of wants to fly. It's pretty amazing how much damage a plane can sustain and still be pretty. Pretty airworthy. Not for long periods of time, but I just mean to get back to the airport. Yeah, well.

[Gina Grad]

And this had to be probably particularly disconcerting because they're flying from San Francisco.

[Adam Carolla]

In the middle of Hawaii.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So the, the closest place to go was where they were going anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

What airline was it? United 777. That's a big plane, isn't it? That's the biggest. I mean, not the biggest, but it's. It's big.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm actually surprised it only has two engines. I don't know a lot about airplanes, but I know seven big plane.

[Adam Carolla]

They want a way. I think somebody figured out, in a weird way, all the supercars now. Not all. Many of the supercars now have a V6. The Ford GT supercar has a V6. A lot of supercars have a V6 now because they figured out we don't need 12 cylinders or 10 or eight. We can do six, we can turbocharge, we can be more efficient, and whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

Keeps the performance out of six.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And so I think they figured out, because always the 747 always had the big four engines. They figured out two good ones is probably more efficient. Fuel efficiency is kind of all what it's about. But anyway. Yes.

[Gina Grad]

Well, speaking of technology, I don't know if you saw this. It's pretty great and also very cute. Time.com reports that the robotics firm Boston Dynamics is showing off its latest creation, a robotic dog that can open doors. Don't be a hater to the cute dog. Now, wait, we're watching a video right now. This dog can't figure it out, but another dog can.

[Adam Carolla]

Another robotic dog come around, but then nightmare fuel.

[Gina Grad]

This is Black mirror all over it. So in a video posted by the Company. We're watching it right, Right now.

[Brian Bishop]

The Company and aliens.

[Gina Grad]

The Company and alien Spot mini robot is seen struggling to get past a locked door until another spot mini shows up with a special arm that can open the door. The second robot then holds the door open free, little buddy. It isn't clear if the robots are acting anonymously or if someone's controlling them. It doesn't show on the video. But robots like this have real world benefits, according to time. Like the ability to find people stranded in rubble after earthquakes and natural disasters.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there's lots of we out of Mexicans. Okay? Now the thing is this. The legs scare me. We have weird ostrich future legs. And the scary part is, in all the movies where the robots were taking over, this is how they look.

[Brian Bishop]

That's how it started.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody's onto something. And I don't like the way this book ends.

[Brian Bishop]

Like Gina said, you know, they can find the prepl in the rubble. There's lots of practical applications. Until they decide they've had enough.

[Gina Grad]

Until they become self.

[Joel McHale]

Aware.

[Brian Bishop]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

But when Skynet takes over, one minute you're looking for people in rubble, and the next minute you're looking for people who don't think like the government things.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

And they'll find them in the rubble of their own apartment. That's.

[Brian Bishop]

That's Minority Report with the little spiders. They're going to find their way in your house.

[Gina Grad]

And am I smoking the opium of the masses here? Because I. The first thing I thought when I saw that was, that is adorable. That's what they want us to think.

[Adam Carolla]

That's how they start.

[Gina Grad]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

You got to see the movement and then. Although if you had one of those at home, I don't think I could resist at least once in the middle of a tile floor, putting a little pile of bolts and squeezing some motor oil on top of it and just having my wife find it and go like, oh, Jesus, come here. You gotta go outside, rub the nose in it a little bit, and then send them to the cage and train them how to walk their head down.

[Gina Grad]

Well, in dramatic fashion. Sha White won the third gold medal of his career and the hundredth for Team USA in the Winter Olympics.

[Brian Bishop]

Yolo, man.

[Gina Grad]

Tuesday.

[Adam Carolla]

In his final run, Chelsea Clinton has a hair transformation helped so much.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh.

[Gina Grad]

He flat irons the show because he.

[Brian Bishop]

Went from long to short.

[Adam Carolla]

He went from like long and frizzy and it was sort of weird to strangely handsome.

[Gina Grad]

Devon a yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Now just by simply cutting it off and being. Having a sort of normal haircut, it was sort of a carrot top kind of novelty act. He's a flying tomato.

[Gina Grad]

He was a flying tomato.

[Adam Carolla]

And then he cropped his hair and went over to Fantastic Sam's. And you look at him now, it's like, oh, look how dashing.

[Gina Grad]

He's very dashing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I say the same for Chelsea one. Chelsea Clinton.

[Gina Grad]

He did it by landing back to back 1440s.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, look at this guy. We're looking at him now like he kind of up. Yeah. But it's funny, it's like nothing really changed. He just kind of went from novelty act to debonair, just. And his hair darkened a little as he cut it. As he got older, he cut it shorter.

[Gina Grad]

You know what, though? The, the dashing version with the short hair, he wouldn't be accepted where he came from. That guy, that surfer dude looking guy, that's the kind of dudes he hung out with when he was coming up.

[Adam Carolla]

Now he's established.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So streets of San Diego came after.

[Gina Grad]

White left the last Olympics empty handed. And just months after he wiped out practicing the trick, the 1440 in a bionic aerial with four full revolutions, he ended up with 62 stitches. When he was practicing, White was in tears. He had this family after the scores announced. Here's a clip. This is now. I, I've, I vetted this. This is the last run that he won with.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you guys with me? That. One of the most impressive at least to watch aspects of all that is insanely impressive about the half pipe and especially the downhill skiing is them coming to a beautiful, graceful and fast stop at the bottom. The downhill guys are going 82 miles an hour. When they show the space that's still, by the way, downhill that they have to slow down in. Seems like about 150ft before they go into the hay bales and the food truck. And they do this move where they pull it out wide one way and then they slide it in the other way and shoot this huge rooster tail snow. And they stop and they're never even. Like they don't do a half curtsy or they just, they stake the landing and they're stopped. Like stuck. Like they're not. Like they just start rolling, sliding backwards like you would do in panic air. It's this weird slight whoosh. Roostell. And then they're looking up like their scores of. There's something so casual about it, like quietly impressed the rest of the run they're trying. This is just all muscle memory. And so, whoosh. And it's like you go, that guy's a pro. And it's like if you were watching somebody to know, is this guy good? Is this guy not good? That one move would let you know that this guy's done this for 20 years.

[Brian Bishop]

So the muscle memory point, they've probably pulled off the jump 12 times, 13 times more than the neighborhood. They've done the stop on a die time 2000 times.

[Gina Grad]

So here's the clip, and maybe we'll see one of those beautiful stops.

[Adam Carolla]

He's dropping in. Here comes the announcement for the goal. God, such crazy. Such air. And travels such a great distance in the air. I gotta tell you, when you're in the air, there's nothing like it. One more hit. Will it be enough? Oh, just nailed it. Arms in the air.

[Brian Bishop]

He knows he got it too.

[Adam Carolla]

And he put it down. And look how he slowed down. If I was the commentary.

[Joel McHale]

Look at him.

[Adam Carolla]

He's taking his goggles off before he even came to a full stop.

[Brian Bishop]

What confidence.

[Gina Grad]

Celebrating.

[Adam Carolla]

Unbelievable.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, really, really cool. Well, Bill Paxton's family has filed a wrongful death suit against the Cedar Sinai Medical center in LA and the surgeon who operated on the star before he passed away last year. That's what Page Six says. The family.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, there was a surgery mishap.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, like Joan Rivers. The family claims that Dr. Ali Coinazed performed an unnecessary procedure that killed that wall.

[Adam Carolla]

People. These guys are now. It's now affecting our celebrities. People coming in on the slow boat, climbing over you.

[Brian Bishop]

Thought it could ever happen to you? Your favorite guy from Aliens.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

Here we are.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. It caused the actor's death 11 days later. In a statement, the attorney said, quote, bill Paxton and his family trusted the physicians and staff at this medical facility. But instead, Cedars Sinai betrayed their trust. The surgeon's actions resulted in this tragic and preventable death. Paxton was 61. He died last February of complications from surgery for an aortic aneurysm.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he's stewed. But why?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, you did it. I won't kill him. I'll just hurt him real bad.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I always. I have very mixed feelings about. Well, not even mixed. I don't like lawsuits. And it depends. There's two types of negligence. There's I was legitimately trying negligence and shit happens. And then there's I showed up drunk. Negligence or selfies. Yeah, whatever. Whatever it is. And for those, I assume that all surgeons are trying as best they can when they're trying to stitch someone back together, do whatever. I also assume they're human. You're human, I assume. It's pretty complicated too. And my feeling is like I want to find out out whether this person made a mistake or this person was negligent in that. Like he said, you know, somebody said you should get an upper GI first. And he went, oh, please, I don't have time for that or something. Or I got to play golf in 20 minutes. So I'm going to hurry up and wrap this up. Like I want to know because when for the doctor, surgeons or bus drivers or whomever who are, who are there and someone's dead. But they actually. Everything was goodwill. I don't like those guys. Like put out of business or taken to the cleaners.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. If it ends up being what they're claiming and a judge or jury decides that it was incompetence, you know, he did unnecessary procedure, that's pretty bad.

[Gina Grad]

Well, and I think, I don't know what the updates are, but I think that's what was going on with Joan Rivers. But they're still filing some sort of a claim. She was going in to have what, polyps, you know, or adenoids or something in her throat. Just fairly routine. Obviously she's of advanced age, but trying to figure out that situation as well, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that's nice. But there was something, there was a slightly deeper thing with her and I can't remember what it was because it had. I don't know if it was cosmetic related or. She didn't. She did it in the office. She didn't want to. They didn't want to go in or surgery center. But not in a hospital.

[Gina Grad]

Right, right.

[Adam Carolla]

But I don't know if there was some cosmetic part of it or not. Max Patter can look it up. And we can also figure out. Out to have impact. So basically what I'm saying is if someone is negligent, I want them to pay the price. If someone is dead and this is the person that was closest to them when they died, I don't necessarily want them to have on the hook. You know what I mean? Like there is an element of the bus driver hit some black ice, lost control and now someone is dead. But it doesn't mean that that person cannot drive a bus ever again or must lose their house. That's kind of where I'm at. I'm not of the everybody needs to get sued because somebody's dead. I want to know if there's A good direct causation. Yeah. And then I'm fine with it. And so Paxton was getting what?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, an aortic aneurysm they were dealing with.

[Adam Carolla]

So they needed to do it right.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. It seemed like a necessary surgery, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Then it got botched.

[Gina Grad]

And because they're filing a wrongful death lawsuit, I am sure there are plenty of details that are not gonna come out for a whole while.

[Adam Carolla]

But also the other thing, too, and it's kind of a. That's a good sign for your nation, I guess, which is we are doing things that were undoable several years ago.

[Gina Grad]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And. And they involve rib spreaders and cutting into people and taking a vein from your thigh and using it on your whatever and all this stuff. And we now have decided. Decided we have zero tolerance for anything going wrong. Like, hey, your husband, first off, people didn't live to 61. Now we've decided 61 means you're a young man, and we're gonna have you completely be anesthetized, have your ribs spread out, have your whole body taken apart. If you're not playing golf in three days, we're suing. And my thing is, like, I kind of feel the same way that people do when there's a 40 minute delay in a flight that's going to Baltimore and people are like, pissed off, going, come on, man. They said, we're leaving at 10:20. It's 10:41.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like, it's outrageous.

[Adam Carolla]

We get to go. Yeah, it's outrageous. You get to go to Baltimore in five hours. People used to die trying to get to Baltimore, and it took them.

[Brian Bishop]

It wouldn't make it happen.

[Adam Carolla]

So I'm still not over that as a human being, where it's like, Jimmy's son can have heart surgery and it can be almost routine. That is not to me. Yeah. So what. What have you done for me lately that's a blessing that we should appreciate. And if on occasion, it goes south, just like the flight to Baltimore being delayed. I don't think there's any Such thing as 100%, you know, no margin for error. No. Yeah. There's going to be hundreds of thousands of flights a day. Some will be delayed. You'll get to Baltimore in five hours and 21 minutes. And so instead of five hours, I'm fine with that. Joan Rivers throat surgery after complaining about hoarseness and a history of acid reflux. So nothing cosmic.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I have a couple other lines.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. Did Dawson. Etta, I want to say something fast. 80% of the people who get aortic.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Aneurysms die, most of them on their.

[Adam Carolla]

Way to the hospital.

[Chet Waterhouse]

It's a very difficult surgery to survive.

[Adam Carolla]

And many times they're consecutive surgeries you have to get through. So in some cases the death, the survival rate will drop to like 3, 2%.

[Gina Grad]

Would you care to be a witness on the stand?

[Adam Carolla]

No, but Google can be. But I'm also saying this too, like, so what I'm saying is just because a celebrity's dead and just because he died in one of the richest hospitals in America does not mean there needs to be a lawsuit.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But I may hear things to change my mind.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, well, a couple of other lawsuit stories that I think are very different. I'd love to get your take on them. A former New York Police Department officer is suing the department, claiming, claiming that his years on the job made him fat. According to the New York Post, 46 year old Jose Vega, who retired three years ago with a pension, is now seeking disability benefits. He says he weighed 180 when he started on the job in 97 and now tips the scales at about twice that. He says the job caused him a lot of stuff and forced him to eat donuts and fast food. His lawyer argues that the police work prevents a healthy lifestyle, saying, quote, it's easier to pull into a McDonald's and wolf something down when you're busy.

[Adam Carolla]

The medical and also when you're packing. No one calls you fat ass. If you're a fat ass and you cut someone off in traffic, you get, hey, fat ass. We stay in your lane. But if you're driving a cruiser and you have a shotgun mounted by it, you don't get the high beams.

[Brian Bishop]

Moving along, tubby.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you don't get so much of that when you're packing.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. The medical board investigating claims that 10% of his condition can be attributed to job stress, but not 100.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, hold on. I got things to say. All right, quickie break. I'll come back and answer your cop question after this. Yeah. So New York cop, morbidly obese. Start off 100. Everyone starts off 180 pounds when they're leaving high school or the military or college.

[Gina Grad]

So, number one, he clearly did not get your vest rule.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Glad you reminded me of my former brilliance. My feeling with the cop vest is you get issued a bulletproof vest when you are a rookie. That shall be the only vest you get. If you. I would. It would behoove you to fit into it month after month. And year after year. But still, if you were medium or whatever, we put on 180 pounder. When you balloon up the 350, there's going to be that much more hanging out for MS.13 to shoot at. But we are not going to cover you. You have this vest. Same with the wedding dress. Different dude.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, same. Rarely the same guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So that. That is. That would have worked for this guy. And it is true. Everybody needs to kind of. You need to be the custodian of your own grade school. Which is to say there are certain things, like being a cop. I get it. Free donuts, lots of hanging out in the car, you know, lots of whatever.

[Gina Grad]

Turn those lights on.

[Adam Carolla]

I get that. Certain things come with the territory. When I was at a boxing instructor carpenter, that's how you used to box in a house. Screw my knuckle up.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, it did come up recently. I can't remember was this show or another. I might have been the same.

[Adam Carolla]

I think the Sklar brothers were in that day.

[Gina Grad]

Drew. Maybe.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyway, when I used to box and I had a great hat trick, I was a boxing instructor carpenter who was dirt poor. I never had to worry about getting fat. Ever fuck a groupie. I feel like I heard Joel McHale in the background.

[Brian Bishop]

Still on that.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I never had to count any calories or do any Vinnie Tortorich. Whatever. I would oftentimes eat for dinner. One of my favorite poor man dinner would be.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a good segment. We've all had our favorite poor man dinner.

[Gina Grad]

I got mine.

[Adam Carolla]

I got a rice maker. Okay. His name is Chris Laksaman. Somebody got me a rice maker. Rice maker are great. When you're poor, you just like dump in a cup of rice and 2 cups of water and you just push a button and you go into the other room, you know, and you come. Piles of rice. And it was all of 41 cents for my heaping pile of rice. And you get a weird special spoon. As if other spoons couldn't remove the rice from the rice maker because any spoon would work, even your hand. But they give me a weird chop spoon, a flat chopped spoon. The best. I'm now drooling just thinking about it. One of the best things in the world that you think is hearty, but you can never eat again. Once you talk to Vinnie Tortoise is a chicken pot pie. Oh, you go, you get like the Marie Callender's frozen chicken pot pie.

[Gina Grad]

That thick gravy in it.

[Adam Carolla]

You think, oh, it's so wholesome. It's so hearty.

[Gina Grad]

Sticks it on the ribs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's like, no, that is just a mess. It's just a caloric mess. But I would go down to the Safeway when I was living in Santa Monica on 14th street, my rent control apartment. I'd go down, I'd buy like the big size, you know, the man size chicken pot pie.

[Gina Grad]

They call it family size, but family.

[Adam Carolla]

Size chicken size of a space saver spare. It would be, it would be. So I would, I would go there, buy that and bake that and then make a big pile of rice and I would just capsize this thing on top of the pile of rice and all the goo would just like drip down into the rice and would kind of. I'd make a little volcano.

[Brian Bishop]

Poor man's gulash.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And just dump that Marie Callender's pot pie into that. And it was all just the best. Like the pie, you know, would get gooey with the stuff that the rice would absorb, all the sauce flowing down. I'd eat that every other night. Never gained an ounce. And the reason I never gained an ounce because I'd get up at 6 in the morning, teach a boxing class and then go do carpentry the whole day and then be poor the whole day. So I never gained an ounce. But then I got into radio and TV and sitting in, and sitting in a man show office all day, like trying to figure out what, what we're gonna eat for lunch starting at like nine in the morning, you know, what are we gonna do for lunch? It's only, the only way you could get yourself to sit there all day and write fart jokes is go, what are we doing for lunch? So I had to basically start thinking, okay, no more chicken pot pies. And like you gotta curtail this and you gotta curtail, you gotta thing. But like then you go out on the road. Now I go out on the road and you're flying first class and they're pushing the ice cream cart by you and stuff like that. So you partake, but then when you get back you take it easy. Like it's a balance. It's not, hey, knock it off. Don't ever touch it. It's like, hey, when you're cop, have the donut. But you have to not all the donuts, perp. It's just balance it out. It's, it's not a. Can you ever. It's like you have to just constantly sort of monitor and most successful people do that on a daily basis. And if this Guy wins this lawsuit, it's off. And we're off and running. We're going down to idiocracy row here and it'll officially just become idiocracy. And we're getting there already, but we'll be officially there.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I'm curious how you feel about this lawsuit. And I promise this is my last lawsuit. A Texas man with four DUIs failed in his attempt to see sue the state, arguing that 0.08 blood alcohol limit discriminates against alcoholics. Ralph Friesenhan tried to overturn. Well, listen to his logic here. He tried to overturn his most recent conviction by arguing that the state's driving limit of a 0.08 blood alcohol concentration isn't fair to frequent drinkers who have a higher tolerance.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm with him.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, but the judge thought that argument was stupid, tossed it out. The judge denied that.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks, Obama.

[Gina Grad]

State law unfairly singles out alcohol and noted that it applies equally to all drivers.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's a. Craig Allman is really bottomed out, Freezingham.

[Gina Grad]

By the way, his blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit when he was arrested. And again, this is his fourth one.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let me, Let me say this. While I do not condone this behavior, but I have argued many times before this. I would like a heavyweight sticker on my license next to the. Now you could, we could do it. Just go to the DM me, put the cones up, have a couple of pops, and see if you knock any cones over. You know what I mean? But. But I, I do. Like, I do oftentimes think of this, which is I drive. My mom drives, and Mike August drives. I'm a licensed race car driver. I. I have a much higher skill level driving the car at 70 miles an hour. I'm not. Not nearly as dangerous as my mom is. In the same car at the same speed, she's much more dangerous than I am. And then if my mom has two glasses of champagne and then gets behind the wheel again, at her age, with her skill level, she is much more dangerous than I am on a six pack. And she will be point zero five or whatever, and I will be zero point one three and I will get arrested. And she. She would not. Now, there's one other factor here which is kind of. And you could say it's. Well, it's all part of it, but this is. Provided we're both trying to drive. Well, I could be making some bad decisions on this, on this six pack I'm riding on. But if the, if the job Is to drive. Well, not in danger anymore, anyone. And try not to get pulled over by the popo. You would much rather have me and my Jag next to you at 0.13 than you would with my mom at 0.05 in her champagne. Even though one is well under the limit. One's well over the limit.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so you don't see freezing hard.

[Brian Bishop]

I rest my case.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, how about this? You guys remember a little documentary called Connie Air?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, some people think of it as a movie or film, but I think it was more of a dot.

[Brian Bishop]

It's so true to life.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm. That's the way I look at it. When he was sentenced. When he was sentenced at the beginning, the judge said because of your training. The rules don't apply to you, Poe, because you're trained as a lethal weapon. You are trained by the military to kill people with your hands. Thus, this isn't self defense. You're a weapon.

[Brian Bishop]

You're held to a higher standard.

[Gina Grad]

You're registered.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm saying make the same argument with the DUI judge, which I am a trained race car driver. Why I have a higher skill set than these people bumped in with the.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, the non drinkers.

[Adam Carolla]

Me at 0.08 is a more skilled driver than many, many others. All right.

[Brian Bishop]

Sound.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. If anyone wants me to do a psa, I'll be more. Yeah, I got no problem with that. All right. Hey, buddy. Hold on.

[Gina Grad]

Back in cold.

[Brian Bishop]

That was not a problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, my name's Ace Crowley. My memory from the manual cranky anchors Love line with what's his. Hey. Sorry, I got a little buzz going. Hey, speaking of buzzes, ever had that situation where you are buzz but you're not at home and you gotta get home, but everyone around you is either more buzz or even worse. You don't know him. Well, how about you go down to Joey Chitwood's Thrill team driving school out there in Willow Springs. Get yourself a little seat time and slammed Acura with a cold air filter and a cat back exhaust. Get your skill level up. Learn how to operate that camera your mom left you after she died. And once you do, let's get that heavyweight sticker on your license. Let the popo know you belong. And little tip, just from experience, if you do get pulled over, don't pull a butt beer out from between your legs and offer it to the lady cop. I'm Adam. Thanks for listening.

[Brian Bishop]

Powerful and timely.

[Gina Grad]

Done and done.

[Brian Bishop]

Relevant.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. One more.

[Gina Grad]

Okay. Well, some new fellow.

[Brian Bishop]

He was talking to the bartender. One more over here.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Gina Grad]

All right, we'll do this when everyone's been talking about this. Today a Utah.

[Adam Carolla]

I won the Rolex cup, you know, Max revelation coming.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't want to hear on a point. Oh, seven.

[Adam Carolla]

We are. We are asked. We. We do our scheduling. We do our scheduling that we. We never run. We get to go to the. We get to go to the Quail Lodge. On days I don't run the race car, I actually run the race car in the morning for qualifying. And then we go to the Quail Lodge and we don't get back in the car. But one year, I had to get back in the car and a couple of beers at the Quail. The race was later, way later in the afternoon. A couple beers at the Quail and cut myself off in ample time. Had a couple of cups of coffee on the way back to the track. I was safe. I was fine. Won the Rolex cup that year. Wow.

[Gina Grad]

That's a hero.

[Adam Carolla]

Never won it since. So uncomfortable.

[Brian Bishop]

Humble brag ever.

[Adam Carolla]

You listening, kids?

[Jason Sklar]

Okay?

[Gina Grad]

You've been doing it wrong ever since. Well, a Utah mother thought her sixth grade daughter was confused when the girl told the mom that just don't say no is the rule for her school's Valentine's Day dance. According to the SF gate. Apparently the girl said she was allowed. She was not allowed to say no if a boy asked her to dance. It's the just don't say no rule. Not Brian Bishop.

[Brian Bishop]

You would have cleaned up, Brian.

[Gina Grad]

Natalie Richards first talked to a teacher at the school who confirmed that the policy forbids a girl from turning down a boy who wants to dance with her. According to a local channel, kmvt. Weber School district official Lane Finley said the rule was intended to teach students how to be inclusive. But Richards says protecting kids from rejection does them no favors as it is part of life. So far, the rule remains in place.

[Adam Carolla]

The rule where you cannot turn a guy down for. Yeah, I don't. There's a thing. All this stuff is perfect if everyone just died on their 18th birthday like some kind of Logan's Run reboot. But as long as you're gonna go out in the life and be rejected by on every corners, every turn, every turn right, you'll be rejected. There's a lot of rejection out there. More than success. Why would you want to train people to not be rejected? It's a very bizarre training. The training should be the oppos. If you're going to go out and apply. For every five jobs you apply for, you get one job. Or for every five girls you ask out, you get one date. Or for every five times you try to go out and do stand up, you get one laugh or whatever it is. If that's the ratio, and I'm being generous, then shouldn't we be training kids for that? And if we're not, we're going to have a lot of unhappy campers.

[Gina Grad]

That's sad. Now, the only sliver of. Because I was thinking about this and how I hate this word, but how outraged everyone is. And I was like, what could the possible silver lining be in this? And the only thing I could think of was, you're socializing kids. So if a boy keeps coming up to a girl and they keep saying, no, get out there, have fun. Mix it up. Just say yes to everyone.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't really have. I mean, if it's a kid school dance and you go, Bobby asks Sally to dance, and they do one dance, and then it walks back her bench and sits down socializing, I don't care.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. The lesson for her is don't be a cunt.

[Adam Carolla]

The thing that you'll realize bald. You should teach Brian is. He just did.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I was gonna say Bill laid some lessons down.

[Adam Carolla]

The thing you're gonna realize bald is you. There's a level of participation that the world expects you to have that's well beyond anything you'd like to do or is useful. You will have nightly conversations about Tessa and her teachers and what they want and they're setting up. I mean, it's like. It's a nightly thing where it's like, oh, Sonny's teacher sent me a text. She. He's doing good, but not great. And she wants to know if we can get on well. She'd like me to come in. And it's like, you're like. For what they'll be done. First off, here's the thing. They'll be done with the sixth grade in a few months. Well, never. Never. I don't. My sixth grade teacher was either Mr. Backus or Mr. Parker. Mrs. Parker. I don't remember. Who cares? Mrs. Harvey. I don't remember what she looked like. I don't remember anything she said to me. There would be no reason to have to have these discussions where. Yeah, but it's important that you come in and that we really. They've gone way, way, way beyond what is healthy for the kid. Kid needs a little autonomy. Kid needs to fail. Kid needs to find his way and as far as the parents go, it's turned into a fucking full time job with all the, we want you at this. We want you to show up at the. And we're doing a thing and we're sending a text out and everyone's got a answer. And I just kind of say to my wife now, like, don't answer. It's like they want a meeting. They want to set up a meeting. It's like, or not just go to the seventh grade. They're like, yeah, but what am I going to say? It's like, you'll see everyone two and a half times again. September, that'll be. That'll be it. And then we'll move on. And it'll be as important one day as whatever your relationship was with your 6th grade teacher and the principal at that school.

[Brian Bishop]

Ultimately, they don't want to meet with you. They're hoping.

[Adam Carolla]

My assumption is everyone was paid and go home. So just everyone, keep walking.

[Gina Grad]

Sounds good.

[Adam Carolla]

They're fine. And by the way, they're way ahead of the game. They're way ahead. My kids are. They're well mannered, they're smart, they're bright, they have parents that are together and they're not abusive and rarely alcoholics. And they functional heavyweight status on the driver's side. They have a really good life and a really good house, a really good neighborhood and a really good school. And that's. That's enough.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a solid basis.

[Adam Carolla]

We don't all have to like, quit our gigs. And. And I just tell like, lynette, just tell me you're busy, okay? Everyone's like, that's my answer. I gotta go to work. Like, and the good news is I go to work and then I come home with money. And then you guys get, you know, you get. You get a Tesla and the dog gets fed and your nanny gets paid. It works out pretty good. Yeah, let's not all pretend. Like, here's the thing. Let's stop pretending our kid is the only kid that's ever been born. Like a Eddie Murphy movie. It's not. Your kid's Fine. Average, whatever. Hopefully they'll be happy. That'll be it. And then we'll get on with it. And then they'll be old one day you'll be dead. It'll be awesome.

[Gina Grad]

And did you say now if you'll excuse me, Natalia has an architect appointment to get to.

[Adam Carolla]

Much more important that she come with me to hang out at the architect's office than we go to the school and discuss why Sunny is, you know, doing a C but not a C plus in history or whatever it is. It's just. It's all. It's all nothing.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

All right, good. Wanna bring it home?

[Brian Bishop]

If you're gonna bring it home, bring it home. But I actually was on the other side, believe it or not, not of the. Of the saying no to dancing.

[Gina Grad]

Somebody made you dance with them.

[Brian Bishop]

Other way. I wrote about in the book do your. Do your read. Do you geico?

[Adam Carolla]

And then I'll.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll tell the quick story. I never told it on the podcast before.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't read. I feel.

[Brian Bishop]

Man, I feel the heart about geico.

[Gina Grad]

I read it and I don't remember that part.

[Adam Carolla]

Talk about saving hundreds of dollars on your car insurance. And you don't have to pick anything up or drop anything off. You just go to geico.com 15minutes. You could be saving 15% or more on your auto insurance. Take that extra money, pay for privates school. Oh, man. More meetings. Go to geico.com 15minutes. Could be saving 15% or more on your auto insurance at Geico. That's geico.com yeah. Some of my favorite guys. Your Joel McHales, your Jimmy Kimmels. I bet their parents had zero meetings from first to sixth grade. In terms of sitting in there. No way to communicate like this. It's fine. It'll be fine. All right. Sorry, Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

This would have been right around. Right around the time of.

[Gina Grad]

Not Brian Bishop.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, within a year or two. Like in that era. Middle school. So I went to a summer camp. Right. Summer camp up at the lake.

[Gina Grad]

That would have been funny every time.

[Brian Bishop]

Pretty close.

[Adam Carolla]

We're looking at a picture, Brian. What year are we looking at here?

[Brian Bishop]

That is almost certainly my freshman year in high school. I was about 14.

[Adam Carolla]

91.

[Jason Sklar]

92.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Sorry. On. Yeah, 92.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Night. Early 90s. So this would have been around that era. And I'm up at summer camp, you know, the lake and the whole thing. And there's a girl who's always kind of hanging around. She's playing. She's playing softball with all the guys. And she's, you know, she's a very tomboy, but she's kind of hanging around. I noticed her a lot because she had flaming red hair, hard to miss, and she was good at softball. Probably ended up being a lesbian. But she. So she said, not important. I was sitting. I was doing the math. I was sitting by the lake one day, just kind of chilling. And a girl comes up to me, different Girl. And she goes, hi, what's your name? And I'm like, Brian, just okay, thanks. And she runs off. So I'm doing the math, she's running off to a friend to tell you she's been sent over. Exactly the whole thing. And I'm starting to put two and two together as camp goes on over the course of a couple weeks. And by the time the last night comes around the big dance, right? And the dance is typical, you know, boys on the one side of the wall, girls on the other side of the. Of the wall. Music's going awkwardly, no one's dancing. And one, one person, the red headed girl, makes the scary trek across the room. I wrote about this in my chapter of my biggest regrets in my life, because I've thought about this dozens of times since and I hate myself for it. But she came up, walked right up to me and was like, hey, sheepishly, you know, kind of you kicking her feet. Hey, you want to dance?

[Adam Carolla]

How rough was she?

[Brian Bishop]

She wasn't super attractive.

[Gina Grad]

She's ginger.

[Brian Bishop]

And I was desperate. I mean, I was not being shown a lot of attention.

[Gina Grad]

Match made in heaven.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. My promise I never factored in my desperation.

[Brian Bishop]

Imagine Danny Bonaduce. Imagine Danny Bonaduce, a young, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Like frizzy red pinafore. Very hard to. She's probably gorgeous now. Yeah, there's your occasional sort of Nicole Kidman, but the redheads tough at 13.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you couldn't comb that out. And so, you know, sheepishly, hey, man, you want to dance? And I kind of looked around at the friends I had made, you know, sitting standing next to me over the week, and I chickened out and I said, no, no, not really. I'm at a dance, I'm at a dance. And I said, no, I don't want to dance. I still think about that because it's so heartbreaking. And she looked at me kind of crestfallen. Her shoulders kind of slumped. She goes, come on, on.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, Brian, you're a dick.

[Brian Bishop]

I was a super dick. That was the dickiest thing I think I've ever done in my life. And I regret it to the. I regret it so much that I put it in my chapter of my biggest regrets of my life for when I was whatever was 12 or 13 years old, I sent this girl away who wanted, wanted to dance with me at a dance, right? It wasn't like I was beating off all, well, you see this line of.

[Jason Sklar]

What?

[Brian Bishop]

You see this line of honeysuck. It wouldn't be fair. Just, you know, to them. If I said yes to you from.

[Chet Waterhouse]

The mouths of brave.

[Adam Carolla]

Did. Yeah. Did. She said, come on. She said come on because she knew she had a really long walk back.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Like as if to say, dude, look, look, look at this. Look what I gotta walk back to. You know. But also, come on, it's the last night of summer camp. What's the big deal?

[Adam Carolla]

She did a little recon work and she did sort of what guys will do every once in a while. Although it didn't work out for me. But you would go find a sort of sure thing confidence builder. I mean her. Yes, that's her.

[Brian Bishop]

How'd you guys find a picture of her?

[Gina Grad]

Come on, get happy. Look at that face.

[Adam Carolla]

So here's the thing. Here's the thing. I mean, Brian. But tell me if this is an accurate assessment. She knew she wasn't going to walk up to Dolph Lundgren Jr. And try her luck because she had the frizzy red hair and she'd probably get shot down.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. She did not view me as out of her league.

[Gina Grad]

You were supposed to be the shirt.

[Brian Bishop]

I was the pitch down the middle that she could crush.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So she went over to the guy that was with the braces and the glasses that didn't seem to be the lady killer and thought, I'll do this guy because that'll be. I will not be shot down.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, this is one I can put in play.

[Adam Carolla]

And then she had to walk back across.

[Brian Bishop]

I. I regret it to this day. And I thought this is when I was 12 years old and I still think about it on a semi regular basis. I was a super dick.

[Gina Grad]

That means you're a good person.

[Adam Carolla]

And the. And the silver lining, the come on part was a combo of you're no prize and Please, I don't want to have to walk back.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it was it. I think it was. Yeah, it was. That it was. Come on, man. It's the last night of summer camp with the. Who cares? Maybe that was my.

[Adam Carolla]

All you would have done is go out and do a song.

[Jason Sklar]

Right?

[Gina Grad]

No Boogie.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. Probably. Probably would have got everyone else dancing. Probably would have got the party started.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. You could have been your teen wolf moment. And I.

[Adam Carolla]

Because, you know, I'm glad that you think that way.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. He means he's a good person. I went to a million bar and bat mitzvahs, as you guys probably did too. At least a handful. Literally.

[Joel McHale]

I thought you.

[Gina Grad]

You had all those Jew friends.

[Brian Bishop]

They're just called friends, Gina.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, well, I Went to many. And I'm from Kansas City. And so we got sort of socialized in that time.

[Adam Carolla]

Kansas City, often. Yeah, they didn't really. Bat mitzvahs were invented in, like, 1984 or something. There wasn't a big thing, like, girls didn't do it. Bar mitzvahs last were, you know, a thousand years. And then at some point in the 80s, like, chicks were like, hey, I want some cash too. I want to Schwinn.

[Gina Grad]

I want to do it a year older.

[Adam Carolla]

So they sort of. It may have technically existed, but there was no such thing as bat mitzvahs when I was young, because it's all about the young boy becoming a man. But I did go to one, I remember for sure, and possibly another.

[Gina Grad]

And did you just. Even in school, the big way to dance when you're in middle school is, first of all, the girl's always a foot and a half taller, and you're just about as close to each other as you see can get. And your neck is craned completely behind you, looking at everybody else so as.

[Brian Bishop]

Not to make eye contact.

[Gina Grad]

Correct?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I am now breaking down my game film. And what happened with me is I grew up in North Hollywood, and I went to the school across the street from my barn that I grew up in, and that was Colfax Elementary. And Colfax elementary just kind of serviced the other losers that lived in the North Hollywood area. Right. Carpenter Avenue elementary was up Laurel Canyon, across Ventura Boulevard in the Hebrew Heights. All the Hebrews exclusively lived in the hills of Studio City. They went down Laurel Canyon and stopped at carpenter and went one through six to Carpenter, meaning there were 12 or whatever when they left. Then we all left our school and piled. Got dumped into Walter Reed elementary, including, like, bus kids from the inner city and stuff like that. And these kids were all turning 13 about the seventh grade. So you had made those trunks in, and it was just me and Ray and Chris and my goyim friends. And we didn't know any of these guys when we showed up. By the ninth grade in high school, we were friends, but they'd already been botzwomized.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what? I'm gonna use the power of this podcast for good. If anyone knows or thinks they know who this redheaded girl might be, she would have been 13ish, 12ish. In the early 90s, Northern California, North Bay Camp Mather was the camp. I mean, you know, I'm giving as many details as I can. I'd like to send her a Copy of my book.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, Brian, you are shameless.

[Gina Grad]

Mother.

[Adam Carolla]

Normally that's $5 endangered copies in back.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, a discounted copy of my book.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we know the area.

[Brian Bishop]

I would like to apologize.

[Gina Grad]

Put in promo code. Not buying, Bishop.

[Adam Carolla]

We know the camp name.

[Brian Bishop]

Camp Mather.

[Adam Carolla]

Mather.

[Brian Bishop]

Could be Mather, but M A T.

[Adam Carolla]

H E R. All right. And it would have been 92.

[Brian Bishop]

Early early 90s, and it would have. Yeah, she would have been about my age, which is 12 or 13.

[Gina Grad]

Flaming red hair, great at softball.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. Athlete, tomboy, athletic, heartbroken for the rest of her life.

[Gina Grad]

Always rocketing around like Snoopy.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's bring it home.

[Gina Grad]

You got it. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina, Gina. That was the news with Gina grad. Ah, Phoenix GCU Arena, February 27th. No safe spaces, Sacramento. We already talked about that. Go to mkroll.com Santa Ana Esports arena, two shows April 21. Live taping of a stand up over there. Sorry, lots of stand up, lots of live events. The. The cruise we got. You can get some buck slips at the ACS store. The podcast masterclass. Corolla class.com Very informative. Joel McHale. The Joel McHale show with Joel McHale premieres Sunday. This Sunday, February 8th. That's coming up on Netflix. And of course, a stupid and futile Jess here as well. Until next time, this is Adam kroll for Joel McKill and Gina Grand Ball. Brian, Seth, Mahala.

[Joel McHale]

Plow, a stranger.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, this is Adam Kulishow 2261.

[Adam Carolla]

With Joel McHale in studio. Coming up next, we have Adam Kulishow.

[Brian Bishop]

2252, featuring the Sklar brothers, Jeff Cesario, Gina Gratt and Brian Bishop from 2018.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Gina Grad. Hello. And baldbrand, dear real scumbag, Jeff Cesario in studio. Chet Waterhouse, everyone. Oh, brother. Everyone loves Chet Waterhouse. Play with Pain, the new podcast available on Podcast 1 and Apple Podcasts. And Arun, Gina Grad was the guest on the last episode.

[Gina Grad]

My God, that was so freaking fun. Everyone has to listen to this show. I was a little worried. I was like, how is he gonna pull off Chet for half an hour? Beautifully is how he does it. It is hilarious.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, interesting point. And it is very difficult to do that. Pull that character. Pull a character off. Not Chet Waterhouse, any character, especially a bigger than life character for an extended period of time. It's sort of like, you know, a funny SNL sketch at three minutes. But what about 30 minutes or 90 minutes?

[Brian Bishop]

That's why so Many of those movies kind of fall flat. There's a couple that work, but not.

[Gina Grad]

Too many Jiminy Glicks out there.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? And so because I've been on both, I've been on both ends of it. I've done Loveline as Mr. Burcham, my character. I've been for a two hour show as Mr. Burcham.

[Brian Bishop]

The docu series didn't succeed for a reason.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, no, I was awesome. That's what I mean.

[Brian Bishop]

People couldn't understand how great it was.

[Adam Carolla]

But when I hosted Loveline, then later, so it was kind of weird. I was a guest on Loveline as Mr. Burcham because Dr. Drew was a big Mr. Burcham fan. There would have been no reason to book Adam Carolla on Loveline at that time. No one knew who that was, but it would do. Mr. Burcham. And I had enough sort of Groundlings training that I couldn't pull it off. Later on, I hosted Loveline and the guests were the Aquabats. And I was like, hey, fellas, where do you hail from? Aquatonia.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, they had a hole, that old Persona.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, okay. All right. But seriously, I heard you guys from the Oregon area, Aquatonia, what is that? That okay, it's going to be a long two goddamn hours.

[Gina Grad]

What is an Oregon?

[Adam Carolla]

Every time I've tried and every band that sort of came in after or. Or celebrity I interviewed or whatever that tried to pull that off, it seems like it's a good idea. It is very difficult to pull off. And it takes a guy with the seasoning of a Jeff season Cesario to pull that off. Off.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Well, I made the decision early on, Adam, that facts would not get in the way of things. And that helps.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I love. Stumble a lot.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Hey, it says here you did collages. Oh, wait, that's colleges. You know, things like that. I just let that roll.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't want to correct you, Adam. They're from Aquabania, according to Wikipedia.

[Gina Grad]

How dare you.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a part like there's so. There's so many times when I wanted to say to somebody, not for me, but for you, just drop this shit and do to just be normal. I know you guys are from Irvine. I don't know where you guys met, what high school you met in, but it's like, yeah, I don't know the.

[Brian Bishop]

Aquabats catalog that well. So forgive me, Aquabat fans, if I don't know, but this speaks to your. If you don't. If kind of your version of if you could do this, you would do it. I don't know why all the window dressing. I don't know why the backstory of Aquitania or whatever, it's. I just said the word and I.

[Joel McHale]

Forget what it is.

[Gina Grad]

Aquabania.

[Brian Bishop]

But, Chris, if you want to put it up there and have a whole backstory, it's pretty good.

[Adam Carolla]

Kaelyn probably knows it by heart because he was.

[Joel McHale]

I used to be a big fan back in, like, middle school and. And early high school, but I don't know anything about the Aquatonia or, like.

[Adam Carolla]

The backstory of the Aqua.

[Brian Bishop]

How dare you.

[Joel McHale]

But they did have their own characters.

[Gina Grad]

That they named that weren't their actual.

[Joel McHale]

Names and would dress up in ridiculous outfits.

[Adam Carolla]

I seem to remember that they're religious folk, and that may have helped Mormons. Mormons. That may have had something to do with it. Yeah.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Not a people known for their lived sense of humor.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you, Chet. So Chet weighs in there. Was that famously. I remember the acrobats, but Chet pulls it off.

[Gina Grad]

God does he. It's great.

[Chet Waterhouse]

I appreciate that. And those compliments brought to you by maps of Italy, paper placements, keeping you quietly entertained at boring dinners for over seven decades.

[Adam Carolla]

Nice. All right, so let's see. I had the. I was rude.

[Gina Grad]

I do.

[Adam Carolla]

I. You know. Yeah, I do. I think people think I'm ruder than I am. I'm actually. If you were to pick the person out of. Not people who work here, of every human being you know, or have ever met, if you were to pick the one person who you would borrow their car and then go wreck, would be me. That'd be the easiest. I would be the easiest person to talk to. There'd be the least pushback. There'd be the least questions. There'd be no change in my voice. It'd be be, are you okay? And then be like, find out whoever the company is, the insurance company, and go figure it out. And I'm gonna walk out of the room. I'll be right back. So I am known as being a dick, except for I'm not a dick about anything that you do to me. I'm a dick about stuff I say to do and it doesn't get done. And because I'm busy, I have to go back and revisit. And the reason.

[Brian Bishop]

But we were rude, though, this time.

[Adam Carolla]

Reason I was rude, and it's because I'm a hero as well, is because rude man. Some guys, a big fan's got a podcast, and I'm sure He's doing it in his basement, whatever, everything else. But he's a big fan. He wanted to interview me and so.

[Gina Grad]

Which you're very accommodating with.

[Adam Carolla]

I try to be as open to as much of that stuff as humanly possible.

[Brian Bishop]

Matt Von Lear is very accommodating with your time.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Matt's funny because Matt thinks that there's some sort of court mandate that I do these things. Matt will come in and go, like, there's a father son team who want to check out the car studio. And then I'll go, what day? And they'll go, Friday. And I'll go, slam. I'm slammed Friday. And he'll go, they're coming from Wisconsin. I'll go, the dad was really nice on the phone. Like, I'll go, okay, you become an advocate for. So he does. He's a nice. Because Matt's a nice guy.

[Brian Bishop]

Matt's got feelings. Matt, how long have you worked here and you still have feelings?

[Adam Carolla]

I know. So Matt likes the father son team from Wisconsin and it was kind of a dream of theirs to see the car museum. And so he's now become an advocate, which is fine. And I'm kind of a soft touch. And I go, okay, just tell him to come by, whatever. But this guy, old softy girl.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Newgity center again.

[Brian Bishop]

Wreck his car.

[Adam Carolla]

How much crap do I agree with and how much do I attempt to accommodate almost every request at every time? You. You accommodate 100% of these ridiculous requests that I give to you. But you should know that you are only seeing about 2% of these types of requests.

[Gina Grad]

Pull the camera back a little bit.

[Brian Bishop]

Not the goaltender.

[Jason Sklar]

Think that when I'm bringing it, it's up. It's really for just those select people.

[Adam Carolla]

That porcelain Collander separates the wheat from the chaff. I like that. Good. Thank you. But it's a semi brutal existence for me to be known as the dick who just pays a ton in taxes and tries to accommodate as many people as I can. I wish I could make my way up to just fair to Midland or.

[Brian Bishop]

One of the other like total dick or like pushover easy stuff guy.

[Adam Carolla]

So I tried to do whatever I do and I had a podcast, I had somebody's podcast I had to do today. Now the schedule, the schedule for today. Here's today's schedule for me. Okay, the schedule is come here, do two, one hour motivational take an E podcast. You subscribe at podcast one and I don't know, three bucks a month or something. Anyway, do two of those. Then we'll do this podcast. Then Mark Gerrigas is going to come in and we'll do that podcast. And then I have to drive over the hill to Mid Wilshire to meet with the architect. But during that period of time, I will be writing jokes for the Oscars because the deadline's to hand that in at 5 o' clock today. And then I will meet the architect on the west side, and then I will go up the street to the Peterson Museum, where they're doing this big fundraiser gala at the Petersen Automotive Museum, and they've requested my Porsche 935 be there, and they took it yesterday, and they want me to come and take pictures by it and raise money for the kids and whatever and have a drink. Fine. Enjoyable. And then when that's done, I'm going to go home tonight. But before all that, I must do this guy's podcast, because I will be in the car from my house to here, and that's 15 minutes. And why shouldn't I be working or doing something in that period of time? So I agreed to do this fella's podcast, and I called him at 10:15 in the morning. And that's when you realize, like, he goes, oh, hey. Oh. First they're, like, a little confused or disoriented. And then they go, this one. And this is where the rudeness comes in. Did you get the questions I sent over? No, I didn't. You didn't get those? No, I did not. You don't have the qu. No, I don't have the questions. Oh, that was your job. We rely on those questions. I don't have the questions because we use the questions to prep the. Yeah, I understand the concept of questions and questions in advance. And then he's like, now. Now it takes me 15 minutes to get here. And when I get here at 10:30, you're done. I got Lieutenant Colonel, Navy Seal waiting to go at 10:30, and now we're doing the. I don't understand why you don't have the questions. Where's the questions? And I did the. Start. Just start. Start recording. Start recording. Yeah. Okay. You know. You know what it's like. And I'm like, start recording. It's like, well, clock's ticking. We got the question. I'm getting closer to here. When I get to here, I'm out of the car. I didn't even officially hang up with him.

[Brian Bishop]

We had 50 minutes. We had 13 and a half.

[Adam Carolla]

@ some point, he just started talking about the Rams, and then it Was great because he's like, I'm a huge Rams fan. Huge old school Rams fan. And. Oh, you had that guy on from the Rams. It was cool. On their. Take a knee. That was cool. It's a good story. Eric Dickerson. Yeah. Yeah, that guy. Yeah, that was cool that he kept talking and he. He was like. He was. That guy was cool. That guy was a good player. And I was like, eric Dickerson, like, you number one Rams fan. This is the number one Rams.

[Brian Bishop]

He's got to be Ram.

[Adam Carolla]

He's in the hall of fame.

[Brian Bishop]

This is that era.

[Adam Carolla]

It was funny, but I did. At a certain point, I'm now doing this thing. Yeah, I did it with my nanny last night. She gets pissed because the thing about.

[Gina Grad]

Did she ask you for the question?

[Adam Carolla]

Thing about the Latin Bronze. You may be the boss, you know, macro, but in the moment, they're the boss. Like in that. In the kitchen. Yeah, they're the boss. You know what I mean? Like, it's a weird thing. It's all good overall that I'm the boss. But in whatever exchange, she got pissed at me last night because my new thing is like, hit record. Just hit record and start like, you're. This is not helping you. We're doing small talk, and I'm tired of the redundancy. Did you get the questions? No, I did not. So you didn't get them? I don't want these. So you didn't get them. I know your brain is catching up with your mind or your mouth or whatever it is, but stop it. Just stop. I said, no. Now we're moving on to the next thing. If this was a military, we'd all be dead. If this is wartime, we'd all be dead because you can't go through life this way. So she said, you tell me again now that she doesn't tolerate me being a dick, But I'm really just trying.

[Jason Sklar]

To get.

[Adam Carolla]

A bad habit. And a lot of people have, which is this. She will. She's in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. Lynette has left to do the nighttime Friends and family lackeys podcast. Over here, Chris. Fishel tile. Give it a plug.

[Brian Bishop]

Coral drinks after show. You nailed it.

[Adam Carolla]

She's left for over here. Olga is going to bring the kids over, and Dr. Bruce is gonna give him flu shot.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that's right.

[Adam Carolla]

In between. They want me to walk them. What we do three or four, three to five times a week. We walk to Starbucks and take the dog, get the flashlights, go at night, and we'll go walk to Starbucks about a half mile away. And so Olga says, so I say, so it's like 6 o', clock, 6:15. Lynette's left. I know Olga's taking the kids over here to get the flu shots and everything, Everything. And the kids are yelling, we want to go to Starbucks. And I'm trying to do the math when I have to leave the Starbucks going to take a half hour, 40 minute round trip. So I need to back that out. So I do what I always do with Olga is I go, when are you leaving for the warehouse with the kids? And then she does what she always does, which she goes, I have to clean up. I have to make Natalia's lunch. I have to make a number two. I have to refill Phil's water bottle. And then I go, what time are you leaving? And she goes, she gets pissed then, right? But I don't want to be dick, but I'm looking for a time. Yeah, I'm looking for a time. I don't know how this straighten up is kind of vague. I'm looking for a time. She always gets pissed because I'm a dick about it. But. And I will accept the sorting out. I will accept the part where you go, I got to close clean up and I gotta fill the water bowl. 6:45. Between 6:45 and 7. I will accept that. But I have so many people tell me I do it at the other shop. I go, sean, when's this car gonna be put together? And he goes, well, I gotta finish buffing and color sanding. When's it gonna be put together? After I'm done buffing. I was like, I'm not interested in the process. I want a date time. And I understand that we might not stick exactly to that time. And I won't hold you to it, but throw something out. Throw something out. I don't know. And as you get older and you have less time on the planet, you realize you sort of have less time to have the. Did you get the questions? No, not at all.

[Gina Grad]

Really helps when we get questions.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I got every third word on every question. No, not at all. And I'm kind of resentful that I'm getting dragged into the multiple.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Yeah, well, that's like David Ortiz rehabbing in single A ball for a week. And you know, you're David now.

[Brian Bishop]

We're gonna run calisthenics.

[Chet Waterhouse]

He's the single A pitcher.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't believe I'm throwing.

[Chet Waterhouse]

I'm throwing a pitch to just throw the Pitch. Let him knock it out of the park. He's going out back up to the Bosox in four hours.

[Adam Carolla]

Pete, do it. People get pissed when you just go, just do it. Or tell me the time. Yeah, at least Olga does.

[Chet Waterhouse]

That's straight line theory. That's what I call straight line theory. You have something in your brain that goes, that can assess what is happening very quickly and, and go. Here's the easiest, most time efficient way to get to this point. It happens all the time with my wife. It happens all the time with people. And then they say, you're interrupting people, you're stepping on people. And I, you know, which is probably true, but I go, I just saved.

[Adam Carolla]

Us about three hours, right?

[Chet Waterhouse]

By going, oh, who you need to talk to is the set designer. That's who you need to talk to.

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah.

[Chet Waterhouse]

No, no, no, no, hang on. We gotta have a big meeting because some things could happen at the three hours later. Talking to the, the set designer.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. I also realized not only do people sort of do what we were talking about, not really the straight line thing, but also people need to get. They need to slowly climb out of their own bad ideas or assumptions. That can't be done. Can't just be done all at once. Like they'll, like, you know, people look at like every once in a while someone will go, oh, hey man, I'm a big fan. I used to love you back on SNL doing the news. I'll go, that's not me, that's Norm MacDonald. So you never did any of the news? And then you go like, no, no, that's not me.

[Brian Bishop]

What characters did you do in snl?

[Adam Carolla]

But you were part. Please understand, you're not sort of right or kind of right or kind of lukewarm right. It's just you screwed something up now just go away from it. Why don't I rather say slowly, like Dr. Drew getting someone off of methadone? Like, well, it's a two week process. How many milligrams you on?

[Gina Grad]

Gotta wean.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, we gotta wean you back. We'll bring it back home. It's like, it's just. No, you're wrong. I know. Your brain can't like process that that quick. No, because you had follow up Norm MacDonald questions and I just cut you off. Yeah, but be cut off.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. As opposed to your previous example. Bit of advice, if you're, you know, you have a podcast up and coming, maybe you book a celebrity, an Adam Kroll, someone you're a fan of. Don't Be so married to your format that if he doesn't. Because, number one, you got to know Adam. Adam's not big on prep. He talks about it all the time. He's not probably not going to read your questions ahead of time. So have a backup format or have no format and just be willing to go with it, because the chances are a lot of people that you want to be on the podcast aren't going to have time to do the format.

[Gina Grad]

You know, that's great advice, and you can get that kind of advice and more at the podcast. Corollaclass.com that and so much more. So you won't piss off Adam when you ask him to be on your show.

[Adam Carolla]

This guy's a big fan, and I was the one who was kind of curt and rude, but still, you're on the clock, and let's. Let's get to it. But the guy's a good guy and a sweet guy and a big fan and everything. I just. I cannot tell you how many laps I do with the. You know, at home, I get. Did you feed Phil? Yes. So you fed him? Yes.

[Gina Grad]

Because if you don't feed him on time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He needs to eat, like. Okay. I know.

[Chet Waterhouse]

So there's litanies of lists on either side of the actual accomplishment.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I've trained Lynette. I'm working on Olga. Olga. She's fiery. Like, she gets pissed.

[Gina Grad]

She'll kick you in the ribs.

[Adam Carolla]

She'll kick me in the ribs? Yeah, she does. All right, so Jeff Cesario here. Chet Waterhouse. The Sklar brothers, who we love. Yes. Gina Graff.

[Gina Grad]

Can I ask a quick medical question? I know this isn't really good pod, but. But do you think I need to go get this looked at?

[Adam Carolla]

You got a big burn. What is that?

[Gina Grad]

Well, I love cooking. Yeah. I got a giant.

[Brian Bishop]

It was ultra mustard.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, brother.

[Gina Grad]

I'm a cutter. No. And, you know, I'm big on cooking and all the paleo stuff. And I was reaching in the oven with the oven mitts. They need to make them, like, evening gown lengths. Like an evening gown.

[Brian Bishop]

You have, like, a glove.

[Adam Carolla]

Glove.

[Brian Bishop]

It only goes, like, over your wrist.

[Gina Grad]

Exactly. And I tried to take it out, and I hit it hard. And I was running it under the cold water, and someone's like, never run a burn under cold water. That's when it blisters. I'm like, well, it hurts. Hurts real bad. And now it's blistering in a. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

They would say B. No, don't get it. Looked at.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Waste of time.

[Gina Grad]

That's what I wanted to get.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't have.

[Adam Carolla]

You will be scarred.

[Gina Grad]

That's fine.

[Adam Carolla]

But emotionally, to match the physics, the they used to say put butter on.

[Gina Grad]

Butter was a big one.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what's come into my life recently? I think I'm late to the party. Is Aquafor now we use it on Tesla. Aquor is miracle.

[Gina Grad]

Like you can use it for burns.

[Joel McHale]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Burn victim.

[Brian Bishop]

It's burnt.

[Chet Waterhouse]

It's not a bad base for popcorn either.

[Brian Bishop]

See.

[Adam Carolla]

I told Max Apata based on to mash up Jay Z interviewing a Jay Z song. So Van Jones was on this show. Van Jones is a nice guy. Got along well with Van Jones. He's dreamy. And I exchanged an email with him now and again. And so I was watching Jay Z on his show, and he asked about black unemployment. And Jay Z basically swept it aside and said, it's not about money. It's about respect or whatever. And I thought what I always do, which is easy for the guy's got $800 million worth of net worth. Not so easy if you want a job. I would rather have the job than the respect. I'm not sure where the disrespect is, but I'd still rather have the gig. And so I said that to Lynette last night. And I don't know nearly as much about rap music as Lynette knows. Lynette likes rap music and she can actually beatbox. And I said, she said, every single one of Jay Z's songs is about money. And I said, oh, I didn't know that. So I said, well, grab. I said to Lynette, well, that's funny then. So I said, send Max Pat an email and tell him cash money. Yeah. Tell him to take. Wait, is that Jay Z?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I got Jay Z here.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Young money. Cash money. Wow, that's early Jay Z. I got.

[Brian Bishop]

Our own Gary here.

[Adam Carolla]

Young money, Cash money. Wow. You can't tell my heart he studied it at all.

[Gina Grad]

He's such a good Jay Z impression.

[Adam Carolla]

So I said, well, go find a good cash Jay Z song. I don't know what it is, and mash it up with Van Jones. And I think we have it. You have it, Chris. All right, we'll play for it. Because it's not about money. At the end of the day, money doesn't equate to happiness. It doesn't. That's not missing the whole point. We treat people like human beings.

[Jason Sklar]

That goes back to the whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to Treat me really bad.

[Brian Bishop]

And pay me well.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not going to lead to happiness. It's going to lead to like, you know, again, the same thing. Everyone's going to be sick.

[Joel McHale]

Sick with the flow when this is all I know.

[Adam Carolla]

More money, more cash, more hold money. More cash, more hold, more money. It's not about money at the end of the day. Money is not. Doesn't equate to like happiness. It doesn't. It's not about money. Is he doing a biatch who does a white hair thing? It's not going to lead to happiness. It's going to lead to like, more money, more cash, more wholeness. You treat people like human beings, especially the hoes. That's right. DJ Khaled in there too.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Hey, what are the odds? The rap song is sardonic on any level.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. It's a. It's a mix. Yeah, it's works on a few levels.

[Adam Carolla]

Now DJ Khaled could have been involved with that, but we wouldn't know it from just the recording because he just points at the ceiling silently. So we'd have to see the live version of that to know if they need a DJ to point at the cell ceiling.

[Brian Bishop]

This is jay Z of 20 years ago. So maybe he learned his lesson. You know, he's all about the money, cash.

[Chet Waterhouse]

He's grown.

[Brian Bishop]

He's got now money, cash and hoes.

[Chet Waterhouse]

And how many people does Jay Z employ? He's got. He must have some Empire fair operation going here. Who's he's employing people as well.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I agree. I just thought. But it is realized a little irony. I didn't know there was irony. I didn't know that there was comedy.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Lightning Run was right on point there. This is not comedy until.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, what are his lyrics about? That was all Lynette. I get no, I get no credit for that. All right, maybe I gotta take a second look at rap. That's quite a. That's finger popping time, boy. Nice. More money, more cash, biatch. That's great stuff, man. That's awesome. I'd like to listen to that on long drives. Never, never stop listening to it.

[Gina Grad]

Okay. I can't ignore the list that just popped up on the screen.

[Adam Carolla]

Screen.

[Gina Grad]

These are DJ Khed sayings. Apparently this is what he does during live shows. He says, we the best. Another one. He says his own name. DJ Khaled. Major key alert. And put your hands up in the gay community, like when Babs is singing or Cher, everyone Stands up and claps for the key change. So I didn't know major key alert had crossed over to the hetero community.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a different key. And these are not just live performance. These are actually from recordings, too. He puts them in all the actual recorded songs.

[Gina Grad]

Lest you forget, he's on the record.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Exactly. These need to be bronzed and put in a time cap.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Stupid were we in 2018. Here's standing society. All right, so nice work on that, Max Pata. And now, before we get to Chet Waterhouse, I'll tell you about the Legal Zoom and Legal Zoom that can help you make your 2018 the year you finally get serious about launching your own business. Or you can rest easy knowing your family and future squared away with the right estate plan. LegalZoom has been helping people take care of their dreams and responsibilities for over 16 years. LegalZoom. Not a law firm, but they have resources to keep you on track, including advice from their nationwide network of independent attorneys. Look, if you can find it at LegalZoom. And they do just about everything you need. If you can get it done at LegalZoom, get it done at LegalZoom. The billable hour attorneys are insanely expensive. And look, if you're accused of something heinous, by all means, go to Mark Garrigus. But if you want to do estate planning or launch a business or llc, get incorporated. Whatever. Legal Zoom. No billing by the hour at Legal Zoom. Price is given up front. Start writing your 2018 story with LegalZoom. Dawson. Go to LegalZoom.com Adam and get special savings. That's LegalZoom.com Adam LegalZoom where life meets legal. LegalZoom.com Adam all right, let's see Chet Waterhouse. Should we do? You ready, Brian?

[Brian Bishop]

Let's do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Do a little sports with Chet Waterhouse. The sports with Chet Waterhouse.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Hello again, everybody. Chet Waterhouse with the Waterhouse update, brought to you by main course chewing gum. Try our famous Clams King Casino super bowl this Sunday. Media day in Minnesota this week, Tom Brady complaining for 10 straight minutes about people wanting him to retire. He then took a knee from oxygen loss and was rushed to Queen of Walleye Hospital in St. Paul. Vikings missed out on the hometown Super Bowl. So to make sure the game's a sellout, U.S. bank Stadium has designated Sunday lighter fluid night. First 10,000 people through the turnstiles get.

[Adam Carolla]

A can of flare up.

[Chet Waterhouse]

The only barbecue helper that's defense department approved trade.

[Adam Carolla]

Kansas City sent quarterback Alex Smith to.

[Chet Waterhouse]

The Washington Redskins, but Republicans declared him a member of the deep state and sent him back. Last week's Pro Bowl AFC won a thriller if you consider soundchecks thrilling. But hey, they just now finished the tabulation in the skills competition and the NFL NFC won that by refinishing a vintage dresser that NFL wrap up Brought.

[Adam Carolla]

To you by Crambulance.

[Chet Waterhouse]

The multi stop paramedic bus cuts your emergency travel bill by as much as 80% with crambulance. NBA Clippers Blake Griffin traded to Detroit. Blake, when you get there, don't drop off the Aston Martin at the valet. There are no valets. It'll just be gone. College football in the middle of an ugly scandal. Michigan State coaches have forgotten so many details they've placed themselves in concussion protocol.

[Adam Carolla]

And finally, a quick Grammys wrap up from last week.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Bruno Mars, More screen time than Gloria Allred.

[Adam Carolla]

Kendrick Lamar's dancers made Victor Cruz look.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Like a Luddite with sciatica.

[Adam Carolla]

And hats off to DJ Khaled for.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Keeping the term baffling in the lexicon. That item brought to you by Miserati, the Jewish sports Car. If you want more of me this weekend, guys, I'll be live tweeting my Skype meeting with Uganda's Prince Mogudu to facilitate the bank transfer of my six million dollar inheritance. This is Jet Waterhouse reminding you to play with pain.

[Adam Carolla]

Jet Waterhouse sports.

[Joel McHale]

Miserable.

[Adam Carolla]

Everybody loves Jet Waterhouse. And I'll say to you what the great program director at KROC said to me in 1994. Kevin Weatherly. Jeff, we know Chet Waterhouse is funny. We don't know if you're funny.

[Gina Grad]

Oh my God.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the actual. These are actual conversations.

[Gina Grad]

You know, we're the same person.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my God. That's like, we want you to host Loveline as Mr. Burcham. And I was like, I don't want to do two hours of Mr. Burcham every night. We know he's funny. We don't know you're funny.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Big question left over there.

[Adam Carolla]

It's sort of an ultimate compliment when you create a character, though, that he's actually become a different person who's not in the room with you at the time.

[Chet Waterhouse]

But it does highlight the inability, it seems, on executive levels. There's that great story about guy hands an executive his script and he says, what'd you think of my script? And he says, I don't know. I'm the only one who's read it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Chet Waterhouse]

So there's a lack of faith, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And he Was kind of saying, we've never really heard you alone and we know Burcham's gangbusters. So he was doing the math. But it was still a funny conversation.

[Gina Grad]

It's a funny way to put it.

[Adam Carolla]

Funny way to put it. All right, let's see. Your first set on Letterman was 1984. Yeah. I just looked down at that. My God, what a credible. What an incredible time. That was crazy. I don't look back and go, oh, I'm happy about this. Or I'm glad about that very often. But I am happy every once in a while when I think, think like guys are to go, I did the Tonight show with Johnny Carson. Like, I'm happy that I did Letterman a couple times. I'm happy I did the Tonight Show a few times before it just sort of came into whatever they are today. Yeah, so you were young, you did Letterman. When did you go back? How many times you done Letterman?

[Chet Waterhouse]

Did Letterman a total of about seven times. The first was 84, then 86 was my second and then in 87 I started to do. I did about 15 Tonight show shows in the span of about four years. That's what kind of got me on the map, both in front of the camera and behind the camera. That helped a lot. And then I kind of slid behind the camera in the mid-90s and they.

[Adam Carolla]

Would come out, see your set. Right. Watch you work this. Yeah, it's a process.

[Chet Waterhouse]

It was completely nerve wracking back then because back then Letterman and the Tonight show were it. If you wanted to do anything as a stand up comic, you had to get on Letterman and then the Tonight Show.

[Adam Carolla]

So the Tonight show was Leno getting.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Back Carson and then Leno. So.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But where, when Carson.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Carson retired 92, I think was it 92.

[Adam Carolla]

So it was a lot Carson still.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Okay, so mid-80s, late-80s, it was all that. And there were no other platforms or anything. So the giant end of the funnel was huge. And comics were just diving in from all over the nation, thousands. And then the bottom end of the funnel was still that big. You know, one, two guys every six months would pop out and get on the show. So they would come out and watch you and then decide if, if you were good enough. And honestly, I've never told this, but the first time through I would go to New York. My brother lived in New York. I'd crash on his floor and go try to do Letterman auditions and work some club or something on the east coast and. And you know, I am fresh off the turnip Truck. I have no guile at all. So I'm just standing and Catch, a rising star trying to get on these showcases. I would call Morty Robert Morton, who's since become a great good friend, who was the talent coordinator and like, you know, Letterman. Yeah, Many, many times. And he goes, sure, we'll get you on the showcase. And then I'd show up and he'd go, we don't have the room this week or whatever, you know, I mean, now, being on the other side of that, I know there's a thousand legitimate reasons for that, but when you're, you know, 30 or whatever you are trying to get on Letterman, you're like, why? Why couldn't I even get on the showcase? So eventually, after about eight of these, I'm paying out of my own pocket to get to the East Coast. I. I say to him in the lobby of Catch, because. Because it's the only place I go, can I just get the shot on the showcase? That's all I'm asking you, the talent coordinator, could it. If I suck, don't put me on. If I'm good, put me on. Little to my knowledge, Barry sand is standing right there. He's the executive producer, and Morty's right there. So then Barry sand turns around, he's the power guy. He goes, all right, we'll get you on tomorrow night. And I go, great. So then I get on. I kill. I do. Well, they put me on the show. I don't do the show for another two years because unbeknownst to me, I've made Morty look bad in front of.

[Adam Carolla]

His boss like an idiot, you know, because I have no over his head. Yeah.

[Chet Waterhouse]

And I have no understanding of that. So I had to iron that out first. And Jay Leno was key in helping make that. That transition happen. But, yeah, that was a wild one.

[Adam Carolla]

I now, subject change toilets. Had a bit of. Bit of good luck in the toilet department.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, congratulations.

[Adam Carolla]

And then some thoughts. The toilet. One of the toilets at the other shop where the guys are doing a lot of production was running or not flushing or whatever it is. James took the toilet lid, not the toilet seat lid, but the tank lid off, and broke it. Now, I'm assuming he set it on the toilet or something. There's no good place to set that those. And it broke. And then the news to me was, we have this toilet. We could fix the toilet, but we don't have a replacement tank lid, and it's not worth it. We should just get another toilet. I'm Expat is making a face because that's the kind of thing he would have raised his voice about or said something about. I, of course, said nothing because it's a mistake. And I don't mind mistakes. I only mind when people are lazy and don't do what I tell them to do. But he made a mistake. He broke. Now, probably could have said, next time, don't set it across the toilet seat or whatever. Just put on the floor so it won't break. But it broke. Million pieces. And now we have to replace the entire toilet because we can't find the tank lid that simpatico with this. Get it? Simpatico.

[Brian Bishop]

Well done.

[Adam Carolla]

Couple things. Could we.

[Brian Bishop]

That's one of your new sponsors.

[Adam Carolla]

Jet Simpatico.

[Brian Bishop]

This simple.

[Adam Carolla]

Gum the toilet that agrees with you. Wait.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Never have another argument with your plunger.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Do a Symphonica. Well, I'll give you a second to work out.

[Jason Sklar]

Somebody.

[Adam Carolla]

We need. First things first. We need to get the lids. The lids are made like Faberge eggs.

[Joel McHale]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't fit quite right. They don't fit quite right.

[Brian Bishop]

If I lean back too much, that thing's going.

[Adam Carolla]

And if you set anything off, they roll off.

[Gina Grad]

There's no water level.

[Adam Carolla]

It looks like you could set something like a pen or something on top of it. It'll roll right off and land in the toilet or land on the floor.

[Chet Waterhouse]

The one thing in your house that apparently is crafted by fine Italian marble craftsmen. Nothing cracks. Quite right.

[Adam Carolla]

So could we have a toilet that has a lid that a. Is not made of its culture called. It's literally called. You gotta look it up. I think it's vitriolic china. I know it sounds weird.

[Brian Bishop]

That's Borja Horrible by vitriolic china.

[Gina Grad]

It's a great wrestling name.

[Adam Carolla]

Couldn't we have one that was just made out of plastic or composite that didn't have much heft to it. You're not sitting on it. It's not a big problem with cleaning. Like, I get the bowl. The bowl you can't make out of bumper material or something like that for your car. But the top you could. And I'll do. Step further. How about you put a little ring around it and make it flat? I could set my deodorant or my cell phone or something. I could set things on there. The spray, you know, the pine scented spray wouldn't roll off. Everything wouldn't roll off. So the thing's vitreous. There we go. Not vitriolic. Vitreous China. I knew it was Wrong. But I didn't know what vitreous was. Vitreous China. Okay, so here's where the win win of working in Glendale comes in. So I said, okay, so we need a new toilet. And then Rob goes, there's a house we're going to demo, and there's some toilets over at the house we're going to demo. I could go to the house we're going to demo. I could take the toilet and I could steal it and bring it back here and we could swap the toilet. I'm not happy about unbolting the toilet and the new wax ring and everything, which is between the tank and the floor and everything. Gasket in there. But I say, fine.

[Gina Grad]

Gotta be done.

[Adam Carolla]

Then I have this thought, wait a minute. Maybe I don't need to pull everything up. Maybe I can just take the whole tank, the back tank part, the pretty universal, the tank and the lid from one of the toilets, and I can do it there. So I leave a note that says, that toilet tank lid, you know, call him this morning from my house before the world's craziest day. And he goes, toilet's taken care of. I said, that was fast. How did we get the toilet taken care of? Found a lid that matched.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, no. Was it the side of the road?

[Adam Carolla]

I said, you found a lid that matches? He said, it's not perfect. Like, it doesn't snap on, but it sits fine and it looks fine. And because you're not asking it to do anything other than sit there, then it's fine. If it looks good, it's done. Where'd you get the lid? And he said, from the street. I walked out.

[Gina Grad]

They had to move the bottle of tequila off.

[Brian Bishop]

Found gold. That's why I was making the face, because I knew where this was going after you told me to find a picture of a toilet on the side of the street.

[Adam Carolla]

Because we live in hell and we punish taxpayers but love illegal construction workers, we now tolerate construction materials dumped everywhere. A Christmas tree. It's an interesting tableau. It's the toilet. It's a Christmas tree. It's a bottle of tequila. We dump everything by the sides of freeways because we charge to go to the dump, to the landfill. They weigh it and they charge it. And if you would like something picked up, like an old sofa or mattress or something from in front of your house. House, you can't put it out on the curb. You have to call Large Item Pickup, and they have to, like, weigh it. And no one knows. Nobody knows, because they don't tell anybody and therefore you're unaware of the fact that you can call the city and you can go, I have an old sofa. And I'll schedule large item pickup. And they'll go three weeks from this Tuesday. If it's out on the curb, the city will pick it up for free. But they don't share that information. They share. Click it or ticket or slow for the cone zone. But they don't share this information. So. Because nobody knows and the dump is 80 bucks. Well, then guess where the de facto dump becomes. Any street that's not very well lit or patrolled on a weekend and we'll dump it for free. So we can all live in a trash can. But silver lining, broken clock twice a day. Tom, who uses this street when he comes to the shop, decided to stop by one of the many toilets that was strewn about. This window shopping, this garden we're living in, and took the lid and fit it onto the existing toilet.

[Gina Grad]

I believe you need to send a letter of thanks to the city.

[Adam Carolla]

I owe every legal contractor in this city an apology and the mayor edible arrangeable. Because this is the best day I've ever had living in Los Angeles.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Well, happy ending brought to you by Simpatic. The toilet that just gets you. Let life flow with simpatico.

[Brian Bishop]

Good. Who doesn't want a simpatico toilet?

[Adam Carolla]

The toilet that gets you. All right.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, this just in, by the way. I mean, I know you're not big on rap, not even a little unwrap, but I think I found a DJ Khaled song that you can get down with.

[Jason Sklar]

Chris.

[Brian Bishop]

Chris has it, Dawson has. We're gonna play it.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

Put your hands up. Put your hands up. Be the best. Put your hands up. Be the best.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Put your hands up. I like this. I don't know why. Be the best. DJ Khaled. Put your hands up. You put your hands up. Put your hands up. Major key alert. DJ Khaled. DJ Khaled. DJ KhalEd. We the best. Major key alert. Put your hands up. Put your hands up. We the best. Major key alert.

[Brian Bishop]

That's just a little sample.

[Gina Grad]

This should go into heavy rotation immediately, if not sooner.

[Adam Carolla]

We're doing everything in real time on this customer service wrap.

[Gina Grad]

Well done, whoever did that.

[Adam Carolla]

And to really bring it all full circle, I just looked down at the Sklar brothers and they got a documentary called Poop. 50 actors and comedians are interviewed about pooping.

[Gina Grad]

Put your hands up.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

What are the chances?

[Gina Grad]

Maybe we can bring the toilet in. Get.

[Adam Carolla]

I did not glance down at that part. Before the hot poop talk on this show. The Sklar brothers, Randy and Jason in studio. Love these guys.

[Jason Sklar]

So nice to be back here. So I'm glad you were talking about toilets and poop and all that stuff. It's perfect. Perfect timing, perfect.

[Adam Carolla]

Perfect segue. And also just an aside. You guys are so healthy, so adjusted. So I was waiting for this breath of fresh air. Well, no, I was just standing in between you and Jeff Cesario. You and Jeff Cesario. And you guys are having this great exchange about sports and stuff like that. And I just thought it's so refreshing to have comedians that are just regular, normal, like it's a job, but it doesn't have to take over my life.

[Jason Sklar]

Yep. Yeah, you gotta have things outside. I always marvel at the comedians who don't have any interest outside of comedy. I'm like, what are you writing? You're gonna die. You're gonna die soon. You need to have an outlet that's over here. Like, you need to be able to talk about Big Ten football for 11 minutes where no one would give a crap except for the person you're talking to.

[Adam Carolla]

And then it struck me that you guys are very consistent, very nice, very funny. And you're twins. You don't argue amongst each other. But there's some kind of adjustment that you got growing up somebody. Something must have been incredibly stable in your house.

[Jason Sklar]

Parents were good. Parents were good. We never had money, but we had parents who cared about us and gave a crap about us. And they were like, spent time. Even though our dad was on the road a little bit. So funny. Now that we go on the road and do stand up, I'm like, oh, yeah. This is kind of what it was. He was. He sold Velcro and shoulder pads and alteration supplies. And we sell ourselves and that's it. And that's. And like a pair of shoulder pads today. It's outdated.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All of our stuff is the documentary Poop Doc. 50 actors and comedians are invited to talk poop and. Oh, shoot, this shit. Yeah. It premieres Friday, February 16th in theaters and on Video on Demand.

[Jason Sklar]

You were so good in it, man. You told a couple of great stories. And then the bit you did about the little nickel plated thing that covers the toilet paper in a hotel room.

[Adam Carolla]

Like the, you know, the. You. It's so great.

[Jason Sklar]

You were being the most you ever coming back to it. It was.

[Adam Carolla]

We.

[Jason Sklar]

We cut it nicely in the movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm now excited to see it. That the one thing about me Being me is I have no, you know, people come up to me and they go, that bit you did on. And I go, that bit. I was complaining about something. And they'll go. And they'll go, what? What was that? Do that bit. And I'll go, I don't know what that bit was. Crazy routine on stopping just me and explaining about something. So when. When you guys come in and say that there's a documentary that I'm doing a bid in, you're like, I don't.

[Jason Sklar]

Know what it is.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know what the bid is.

[Jason Sklar]

That's because we. And we said this the last time we were on the show. You have the unbelievable ability to start talking about something and it comes out as a fully formed bit. Yeah. And again kept coming back to it again. It was a whole thing just about going to a hotel and seeing that sort of like chrome mud flap on the top of toilet paper. And you say to yourself, yourself, why is this designed? Who is this for? Why there's no open air thing where pigeons are taking a crap on top of the thing, where someone's like, thank God we have covered it up. The chrome mud flap. But then it morphed into. And I don't want to give it away, I want people to see it. But then it morphed into you talking to your wife off screen about getting one for the house, but it not matching the chrome. And one's brushed nickel and one's regular chrome. And like so good. As a guy who's. My wife's an interior designer that's such a giant, like the fixtures in a house. And what is there is like if it doesn't match, if this thing is not the same brush thing as that. It's like such a big thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It is a. It is a first world problem. And I can. We can put this in my. You know when it was. So I'll tell you in a second. But it's ongoing sort of running joke here, which is. So first you go, I love this. This kitchen faucet. And they go, okay, that's just. They have that in polished nickel and have a chrome and polished nickel. And then you go, okay. But I love these hinges for the canvas. Those just come in brush nickel and pewter. Yeah. But so they don't come in nickel or polished nickel or chrome. No, just brush. These come in brushed. And then this is. And then you go, well, we can't use this faucet then because it's going to be the wrong material to get.

[Jason Sklar]

Something I like less just so it matches this other thing that I kind of like everybody. That's how people feel when they want to hire me and Randy, who's the brush nickel to match that thing? And I'll put up with it.

[Adam Carolla]

And this would go. This nickel and brush nickel and chrome and pewter would go first. World prom would go into my book, my coffee table book. I want to do what black people think white people talk about all day. And they are right about this one.

[Jason Sklar]

Right, Exactly. It's that Seinfeld and mash.

[Adam Carolla]

We got it, we got it, we got it. So your wife, interior designer. Yeah.

[Jason Sklar]

Has her own firm and just love that she's into. And. And she's the one. She's got her own tool belt. She loves to fix stuff. Her relationship with like the, you know, the. The great. I love the guy who's her lighting guy who goes around and does like a brilliant lighting guy is just like this. He's. He's a. He's a British dude who's just kind of a very working class British guy who just comes in the house and just starts cursing. He like, he'll come over to the house. Cause they're talking about a project and.

[Brian Bishop]

He'S like, it's too bloody dark in here.

[Jason Sklar]

Go, go, go.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, exactly like, are you a roadie?

[Jason Sklar]

Are you a roadie for David Bowie?

[Adam Carolla]

Who are you?

[Jason Sklar]

But he's. I just love her relationships with all of her subs. They were just phenomenal dudes.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, this is a lot of upside here for you with possible downside about how you didn't put the throw pillow back just so and whatever is there that.

[Jason Sklar]

Well, now I just have a knowledge of. And I'll tell her sometime, hey, do you want to organize that and this? And she's like, whoa, whoa. Are you getting on me because of the way it's organized? She's like, you want me to give you some notes on comedy and I'll.

[Gina Grad]

Go on stage with you.

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah, that's true. And then I'm like, all right, put the pillows any way you want.

[Adam Carolla]

But that's good. I'm jealous because my wife not into that. But I'm into it big time. You're into me?

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah, to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Into design and building and decorating everything.

[Jason Sklar]

And I've learned all about it. And there's a guy for everything. Like there is the cabinet guy. Guru of all cabinets. The guru. The cabinet guy. And it's like there are moments where I'm like, how much time do you spend in Your shop just inside of a cabinet just hanging out. Or if you. Or if you want to announce the world that you're gay and you're the cabinet guy, do you come out of the cabinet?

[Adam Carolla]

They have crazy. If you really take a deep dive into this, you'll talk to the. You know who the good. The Amish. Yeah, the Amish dude. The stuff. And then it's like, how much is it a linear foot? $1,500? Like a linear foot or $10,000 a linear foot. And they go, like, I've talked to people go, we did a house. It was 3,000 square feet. The cabinet was $2.7 million. That's all the cabinet. It's like, oh, my God.

[Jason Sklar]

I don't understand how expensive the cabinets are.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, the right guys are in the room for this. When does a cabinet become a cupboard?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, geez.

[Jason Sklar]

When you're 80, I think when it's.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, there's a size thing.

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah. I feel like a cupboard always feels like it goes from the feeling to the floor. To me, the cupboard is what they talk about when a coach.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's a pantry.

[Jason Sklar]

When a football coach in college has no recruiting comes in and the guy left the covered bear. That's the only time no. Whatever is like, man, we got no recruits. We got no offensive line. The cabinet was completely bare. No one ever think you can turn.

[Adam Carolla]

A cabinet into a cupboard if you put post them in it.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's a era I once read. I read that one. I read it once. I always travel with Postum because if someone of my friends gets all highfalutin on me about his new cabinetry in his kitchen, now you have the cupboard bitch.

[Jason Sklar]

Turn this into a cat in a cupboard right here.

[Adam Carolla]

So the movie. And so I'm. I. Drew's in it.

[Jason Sklar]

You're in it. We describe it as a movie that you both can be in and both be hilarious and awesome in it. Yeah. Because he explained, you know, we were like, this is pooping something that everybody does? And yet a lot of people don't talk about it. A lot of people don't. We talk about it. We actually get into. Why do comedians talk about it? Why do they feel comfortable about talking about it? But maybe we should be talking about it more. Maybe this is a discussion that we're sort of keeping in and metaphorically, we need to release it. And we didn't set out to make the shape of water. We made the shape of toilet water. And we're happy with that. We're fine with that. But it's funny, it's inform. You hear great stories. You told another great. I don't want to give it away. You told another great story and a bunch of people told. Canadian Brad Williams told one of the best pooping stories. Because it's really not about him pooping. It's about him being him and something that happens to him when he's in a bathroom and he's sitting there and someone doesn't think he's there because his feet don't hang.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, does he use the toilet or does he go on sawdust? He does. I'm confused. I picture, like, a big hamster cage. No, no, no.

[Jason Sklar]

He gets off the wheel and he goes. He gets off the wheel and it goes in. But it is just a moment about his life. It was so great. And there. So it winds up being this really fascinating movie that you. You can't stop watching it. And it's also one of those things that we did it and we're like, I don't know if what's gonna happen to it? And then suddenly people are like, oh, this is good. And then Comedy Dynamics gets it, and they're like, we're actually gonna put it in theaters. We're like, okay, that's good.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's see if people come out and see it.

[Jason Sklar]

It's a subject that's universal. And as we're doing press for this and people are talking to us, everybody is like, I have this story. I got this. You gotta hear this story. And then I watched this movie and told three friends about it. So you never know what's gonna happen to it. You're f. Will love it.

[Adam Carolla]

You guys. Spread it around. Spread your poop.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm hearing universal that, like, anytime you hear about astronauts or an endurance race or something, the first question always. And it's not technical. It's not. It's not how you train for it. It's how do you go to the.

[Jason Sklar]

Bathroom up in space?

[Adam Carolla]

That's always the first question.

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah, There's a hyperlock thing that you go in and it sucks it on down in.

[Adam Carolla]

See?

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You're gonna hear some of the most horrific pooping stories from long distance runners. Marathon runners.

[Jason Sklar]

Oh, yeah. Oh, well, there's. And also, I don't know if you guys saw that news story about the woman who's like, the running rush. She' like the. No. The private. The secret pooper. Secret pooper. So she runs around in Colorado or somewhere, and she just craps in everyone's lawn and they get mad and they're mad, and they're videotaping to catch this woman. Yeah, they're mad.

[Chet Waterhouse]

They're upset.

[Jason Sklar]

There's a woman, like, crouching down by the Highlander taking a dump. And you're just really, what are you doing? Like, I'd rather you stole my Amazon.

[Adam Carolla]

Packages instead of porch pirates instead of leaving your own package. I, I is there. And there's like, video of it. It's like surveillance camera.

[Jason Sklar]

Video surveillance camera of this woman who's just like, as she's running, it's like.

[Gina Grad]

You know, and she's a repeat offender at the same house. That's why they're getting so pissed.

[Adam Carolla]

That's it.

[Jason Sklar]

That's why. That's it. You think that there is. Yeah, they're getting pissed about don't drink coffee before you run. I mean, it's like it hits her at the same moment of her run every day. You know what I'm saying?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'd see, I. Tell me what you guys think about this, but I used to, I had this sort of thought when we did morning radio at Kayla Sex, which is we'd get there, you know, 5, 45 in the morning, and then it's. We do the first shift of 20 minutes or whatever, and you'd walk out, going to the bathroom to take a leak, and somebody took a massive dump right there. And they did it at like, 6, 10. And I would say you got two weeks to get your bowels sort of in sync with your new clock, but after that, it's on you. Meaning get up in the morning, have a cup of coffee, have your music.

[Jason Sklar]

Do it early, dump it home, and.

[Adam Carolla]

Then go to work. Don't save it for work. The commute's 18 minutes. Don't tell me you couldn't have stayed at home.

[Jason Sklar]

You know how they say it's not good to bring your work home? It's not good to bring your home to work.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Jason Sklar]

Well, we say that coffee, I mean, that's coffee. Second gift is what it allows. Going down, then it literally cleans your ass off.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there, is, is it all function or is this, is there a psychological component to going, I'm taking a dump at work?

[Gina Grad]

Stealing paperclips. Like you're doing something against the compromise.

[Jason Sklar]

Are you talking about, like, marking your territory?

[Adam Carolla]

No, like, like, like on the pot, on the clock. Like, I'm getting paid to take a dump. Yeah, I had that in the, in the bathroom two times. I don't know if you guys have ever Been hit by this. But one time during Dancing with the Stars, I walked into a bathroom that was like, just off to the side, and somebody was on the crapper with the door closed. And right when I walked in, I just heard the guy go, what's up? And I went, you know, just practicing the dance. And then I paused. I went, getting paid to take a dump. Not too shabby, huh? And he went, I'm on the phone.

[Brian Bishop]

This didn't make the move.

[Jason Sklar]

I don't know if it happened before the story.

[Brian Bishop]

Did anyone relay the. I don't know if you guys are on the same page, but somehow, are you like, me where, like, you get home, your butt knows when you're home with your indistance. Like, if there's a mild desire to.

[Jason Sklar]

You as you approach, as you get.

[Brian Bishop]

Home, you're like, dude, it's time.

[Jason Sklar]

You're like, how many. How many centimeters are my diligence?

[Brian Bishop]

As soon as you step across the.

[Jason Sklar]

Threshold, literally, is it facing.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm crying. I think about this.

[Brian Bishop]

Does that happen to you?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God knows it has to be universal. So two things. The butt nose. I. It's right up there with. When you. When you take your index finger and you put it down your throat, but you don't touch anything but your throat, you start to gag. Because, you know, I was at the.

[Jason Sklar]

Dentist this morning getting a filling, and they were put. They literally just. And they weren't gagging me. They just put something like a tool in far enough that it was kind of in the area. And my brain was like, you gotta gag right now.

[Adam Carolla]

I have had. But the worst, the. The worst. First off, the countdown to the dump. Yeah. It's the same thing the ship had on Alien. Yeah. Once you hit self destruct.

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't go back and twist the.

[Jason Sklar]

Key the other direction and systems are in motion.

[Adam Carolla]

Ever had this one where you do it? You're walking around, you're doing a gig. You're in Minneapolis or something. You go back to the hotel. You're on the ninth floor. You're on. You're on floor. You're on your room, 955. You go there and you. You're going like it's in motion. You set the countdown clock in the lobby of the hotel. You got. Whatever. You're going up, you going up. The thing, it's. It's the Tuesday clock.

[Jason Sklar]

The Tuesday clock's at 11:59.

[Adam Carolla]

You sweep the magnetic card and it doesn't work. And you're like, I've already started counting. Can you like turn brown by the lights on the door?

[Jason Sklar]

It is like to me. But the feeling of afted as coffee, really a coffee, coffee dump is so much better because it like everything gets clean. To me, it's like the last 15 minutes of every episode of the show Hoarders. You're like, just get it all out for two more hours. Get it on, put it on. Get the rabbits out of the wall on this one and let's do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Get it out. All right, we got. Sorry, I'm trying to. I. I could talk about pooh all, all day, but we're going to do a little hobo power, please.

[Jason Sklar]

The two may entertain intersect here.

[Adam Carolla]

It's time for hobo power. Adam's unit of stink measurement. You give us your stink story and we'll rank the funk.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, just so you guys have a template to work off of, something I invented many years ago because I always thought about like, we have BTUs and leagues and fathoms and yards. We have everything. But we don't have a measurement for stink.

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean?

[Jason Sklar]

We need.

[Adam Carolla]

And people do this things like, oh, this guy was just. There was a Rastafarian guy in the elevator. So rank, like, but. But we never know how much, how rank. So I worked it out and I just went, 100 is not not know.

[Brian Bishop]

It's theoretical.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyone who's ever been to 100 is dead.

[Jason Sklar]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

A black hole.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Sklar]

A human cancer. It's only like the death zone in Mount Everest. Like six people.

[Brian Bishop]

We're pretty sure it exists.

[Gina Grad]

No one's ever come back.

[Adam Carolla]

25. You should be yakking at 25. Somebody gets 25 and they're not bringing up their cookies unless they're like a trained, you know, battlefield medic or something like that. Right.

[Jason Sklar]

Used to it.

[Adam Carolla]

And I think 50 was a cat that was ex fed exclusively. Just blue cheese. Yeah. For a two week period. Defecating on a white hot hibachi and whatever the plume that came off of that. 50. That's 50. Okay. So there's your scale score to beat. You calibrated?

[Jason Sklar]

I like stink. Kinsey scale.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Jason Sklar]

This is how We're. We're measuring.

[Adam Carolla]

Pat 48, Springfield, Missouri. Hey, Ace. Man, everybody, how you doing? What's going on, man?

[Brian Bishop]

What's your story?

[Adam Carolla]

Delivered milk to restaurants, grocery stores, stuff like that. Schools for 25 years. And one night we started all, you.

[Brian Bishop]

Know, early in the morning, middle of.

[Adam Carolla]

Night, one o' clock in the morning. So in the wintertime, I'M delivering the Salvation army home that you know, keep. Well, it was really cold. It was zero out. And so they opened it up to homeless people so they could stay warm. Sure. This connection is. Hold on.

[Brian Bishop]

It's got a lot of milk to deliver.

[Adam Carolla]

My feeling with anything dairy is. It's way too goddamn early. Yeah. Any. There's never like, what, Should I drop the cheese and the. And the milk off noonish? No, no, no. Yeah. Anything to do with the delivery of dairy means first.

[Jason Sklar]

But if he's talking about a smell in zero degrees, that's a strong smell. You're cutting through. You're cutting through so much. You're cutting through cold front.

[Adam Carolla]

Pat, are you still there? Yes, sir. Okay, so you go the Salvation Army. Salvation. Salvation army home. I go to Salvation army from the door to the entryway, and it's about a 6 by 10 foot entryway. And there's six or seven guys sleeping in this entryway, homeless guys. So I step into it to go through the next door. And then it hits me. There is seven guys. Homeless guys are in this 6x10 room that's heated up now. Weaponized. Oh, it was weaponized. Literal. You have literal hobo power that is in the 6x10 room. So I, on a scale of, you know, 1 to 100, it was a 24. I just almost hurled. I get into the next room. I proceed to put through this. Pat. It's, it's, it's choppy. You sound a lot like that electrician lighting guy. I can't get it. Jamie. Where is it? Pat, It's. You cannot yourself a hobo power number. We're gonna have to. Yeah, but that's for us. That's between me and God. Not for you to decide.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a minimum seven hobo power. Because there were seven hobos in that room.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You know, ventilation.

[Jason Sklar]

What does each hobo carry?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So, Pat, any. Any more particulars we need to know about? Well, it. It smelled like the worst wet dog well you could imagine that was in an oven.

[Brian Bishop]

The heated small space.

[Jason Sklar]

You got to put wet dogs in a microwave.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I gotta say, say there's a human element here. Anyone who's been in a locker room like at a football practice and went like, I smell Stouffer's lasagna. Why do I smell Stouffer's lasagna? Who's making Stouffer's lasagna? And you turn around and there's some 300 pound guy just pulling his jock off and it mixed in some sort of weird way.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Like snaps to your mind.

[Gina Grad]

Starts.

[Jason Sklar]

He then lifts up his scrotum. And there is a Lean Cuisine.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a Lean Cuisine.

[Jason Sklar]

Fully baked, fully cooked.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Please.

[Brian Bishop]

They're a sponsor.

[Adam Carolla]

The best part of my childhood and my entire life before age 22 would have been French bread pizza.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, the pizza.

[Adam Carolla]

Frozen, frozen French bread pizza. You know you've had a bad childhood when, like, the greatest. Like the beacon of light on top of. Of the hills, a French bread with ragu on it. Like, it was a big deal.

[Gina Grad]

Tears up the roof of your mouth.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. But somehow. Somehow awesome.

[Brian Bishop]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my kids wouldn't eat it now, though, if I gave it to them. They'd be insulted. Right. All right, let's see. Let's try.

[Brian Bishop]

Give a number.

[Adam Carolla]

You got to give a number. Oh, yeah, sorry.

[Brian Bishop]

So seven years.

[Jason Sklar]

How was it? How was it commingling with the dairy? You know what I'm saying? He's holding maybe a component that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Did it curdle the milk?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Sklar]

The second key that you turn to unlock the hobo power.

[Adam Carolla]

How much dairy you toting? 24 gallons. 6 paces. I gotcha. All right, I'd like to say. And we can all work on this. Number seven's the base. Obviously, seeing the guy strewn about, there's a psychological component.

[Brian Bishop]

He's breathing hard, humping all that milk. So, you know, he's certainly a lot of breath.

[Jason Sklar]

Sweating.

[Adam Carolla]

It's cold outside. But then going into the heated, and it's you. These guys probably took a dump in the hobo jeans. They've been there in the middle of the night. Right. He doesn't yak, though.

[Brian Bishop]

He said he almost did, but he almost.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, we got the.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a do or don't.

[Adam Carolla]

We have the juxtaposition of the dairy and then the homeless. I'm gonna give it a. I'll give it a. He gave it a 24. I'll give it a 22.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm in a good mood.

[Gina Grad]

I thought you'd be in the high teens.

[Jason Sklar]

I was gonna say 19.

[Adam Carolla]

There's seven. Seven hobos in there.

[Brian Bishop]

That's true.

[Jason Sklar]

It's a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Sklar]

Seven hobos for seven sisters. One of my favorite shows.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that musical. Hey, Randy. 29, Harrisburg.

[Gina Grad]

Hey, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

What's up? What's going on? Like the podcast.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks, buddy.

[Adam Carolla]

What's your question? What's going on?

[Jason Sklar]

Very good.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Do you have a hobo power question? All right.

[Jason Sklar]

I used to live in the attic.

[Adam Carolla]

And I used to have to wake up to Go to the bathroom three, four times overnight and I just started.

[Jason Sklar]

Peeing in milk jugs.

[Adam Carolla]

And one night I found one. Three months later. Mm. Your urine, though. My urine?

[Jason Sklar]

It was by a floorboard with a.

[Adam Carolla]

Baseboard where the heat would come out, though.

[Jason Sklar]

Not great.

[Adam Carolla]

Your urine. I don't know. I don't feel like urine. Urine gets much worse with time. It's not great. You're right. It's actually more than urine, but it's actually no difference. Two weeks from now, it doesn't turn.

[Brian Bishop]

I like the novelty and the eccentricity of having to live in the attic, which is strange.

[Jason Sklar]

I mean, if you. If you hold it long enough and put it to heat long, it turns into a pilsner.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that right?

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that right? It does. I think it does.

[Jason Sklar]

This is Bear Gryllis's dream, essentially. Didn't he drink his own urine all day for opportunities to do it? Bear, you don't have to drink it. You're in the airport going to the bear.

[Brian Bishop]

This is the pitch. This is the pitch.

[Jason Sklar]

You're not even there. You're not starving. It's a press tour for your show.

[Adam Carolla]

The In Great Moments in Censorship. I did Jimmy Kimmel's show with Bear Grylls once, and he was doing one of his highlights and don't find it Chris. But where he takes the giant maggot and like, bites down on it and goo just shoots everywhere and goes. And it's like. It's so revolting. And he's like, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. And I just turn him. And I said, that's. That's great when you're out in the wilderness, but no excuses in the bedroom now. Like if your wife feeling a little amorous and there ain't no. Whoa, whoa.

[Jason Sklar]

Here's something you don't want to hear. If you're having sex with your wife in your bedroom, only one of us gets out alive. That's not good phrase you want. It's not a phrase. You don't want to be naked and afraid.

[Adam Carolla]

They edited that out of the show.

[Jason Sklar]

Really? That's a joke.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I was careful not to say anything. It was all just implied. Hey, sorry, other Randy, 29. Yeah. What we doing up in the attic?

[Brian Bishop]

It was after high school and I was.

[Jason Sklar]

Let's say, in between jobs, put it that way.

[Brian Bishop]

Did your parents know you were up there?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Sklar]

Flowers in the attic. Is his grandparents keeping him up there?

[Adam Carolla]

I love God. It just reminded me of Bad Ronald. You guys love bad TV shows. Look, this is a five. You're talking to a guy who lived in attics and a guy who lived in garages and stuff and just took a dump in a decorative popcorn tin that Vince and Pat Bruno got me after as a high school graduation gift. Yeah, you can live with it. So I'm giving it a four, and I'm feeling generous right now.

[Jason Sklar]

I think that's right in line.

[Adam Carolla]

You guys ever see now you guys love bad. Like TV movies, stuff from the 70s and stuff like that. I became very obsessed with those for a while, and my favorite was always Bad Ronald. Bad Ronald was a movie. I haven't talked about it in a million years, but it's a movie where this kid who was a nerd lived with this, like, sickly mom in the house and he got invited to, like, a pool party. Party, just so he could be made fun of. Like, all those good 70s things where, like, he showed up in his new trunks and it had his towel and it was like, get out of here, Ronald. You're bad. Like, nobody likes you. You're Bad Ronald.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a reason they call you bad.

[Adam Carolla]

Like splashing water. And then he's like walking home and he runs into this little blonde girl who's like 8, and he's like 11 or 12 or something. And she's like, your mom's scary and you're creepy, Ronald. And he's like, don't you say that about my mom. And then there was this whole era where if you pushed a kid and the kid went down and you dutched the camera, that meant the kid hit their head and they were dead. And they turn it to the side and the kid would just look without blinking for four seconds. And then they'd have the funeral scene. And it was a weird. It was like. I guess someone's like, look, we could use squibs or we could have a knife, or we could use a bunch.

[Jason Sklar]

Of blood or whatever out of the head.

[Adam Carolla]

But were we. We could just have him push her and then we'll just dutch the camera when her head hits the rock, and then that'll mean she's dead.

[Jason Sklar]

What you don't know is that the camera guy also hit his head.

[Adam Carolla]

He died as well. Oh, my God.

[Gina Grad]

Happy accident.

[Jason Sklar]

He died as well. So trying to get that Dutch shot.

[Adam Carolla]

Bad Ronald kills the girl. He goes home, his mom does the. No one's gonna believe you because you're Bad Ronald. That's right. We gotta hide you. Oh, God. So she makes a little spot space. It's two story house the stairwell, you know, under the stairwell going upstairs behind the kitchen. And she's pantry. Unclear if it's cabinetry or cupboard. Makes a little access panel. And he lives underneath the stairs.

[Gina Grad]

Like a mole person.

[Adam Carolla]

Of course. Mama's sick. Mama goes off to the hospital. Mama dies. Oh, gosh, how bad Ronald's living under the sink stairs. And Dabney Coleman moves in.

[Gina Grad]

It couldn't be anyone else.

[Adam Carolla]

With his wife. I love him too. And his three hot blonde daughters.

[Jason Sklar]

Oh, my God. And so he is now going to terrorize these three.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he's, he's young boy. His hormones are kicking in and everything. Falls in love with them. And there's a lot of these discussions, like, what happened to my chocolate cake? I didn't eat it. Somebody ate it. It's all got. He'd come out at night.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Sklar]

This is an unbelievable. By the way, more storyline than most of these things. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Build up. You're like, all right, we needed to see the pool party to then see the frustration that this kid now started.

[Adam Carolla]

Read it. What is the slug line on it on like IMDb or something for. For Bad Ronald.

[Gina Grad]

I smell a basic cable commentary.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God. This is also. Could be a porno.

[Jason Sklar]

Like, it could be a porn. Like what you just described is a porn. I'm going to give Bad Rock Ronald a score of five on the hobo. Oh, we're not doing hobo thing on it.

[Gina Grad]

The will be place is haunted by a ghost who isn't dead.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Oh.

[Brian Bishop]

One of the hot daughters went on to be the main female in Beverly Hills Cop. A good looking blonde who worked at the art gallery.

[Adam Carolla]

Smart.

[Jason Sklar]

Wait a second.

[Gina Grad]

She had a career.

[Adam Carolla]

So the thing I remember watching as a kid and the movie ended. There's two things they used to do in the 70s. They do the Dutch camera move, head hit. And everything would end with a freeze frame.

[Jason Sklar]

Totally.

[Gina Grad]

Of course.

[Adam Carolla]

Like they just end every episode of Heart to Heart. Everyone be laughing. Chips. They do like an extended freeze frame. Like a montage freeze frame. Ponch would be laughing over here and John Wilk, Larry Wilcox would be over there. They just end it by just literally stopping it. And this ended with this. The cop showed up and the struggle broke out and he ran through the front door like, mom. Like he screamed for his mom and he's like tackled onto the ground by the cops. And I remember being like 11 and I was like, all right, so really, what's the message here? Yeah, if you're a nerd, and you have bad skin. You're an outcast. Your mom is claimed by horrible disease. Don't worry, you'll do time.

[Jason Sklar]

Someone will take care of you.

[Adam Carolla]

You will be has on your lawn and incarcerated. Weird. And Ronald was never really bad. That was the whole weird thing. He wasn't doing it. He was like a 13 year old kid who was like going nuts. His mom died.

[Jason Sklar]

He thought the cell was way more spacious than the thing on the ceiling. Yeah, that's like an upgrade. It's totally like wow, we got so much room in here. I have a toilet in my room.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll take a quick break. When we come back, you have the synopsis. Brian looks like he has something. Do we have a Bad Ronald synopsis?

[Brian Bishop]

I was looking to see if I could streaming anywhere. It is not, sadly, but there is a Wikipedia page for it.

[Gina Grad]

Of course there is.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we'll take a quick break. Right back with the scar, bro. All right, we got the news right around the corner.

[Gina Grad]

But wait, now they're putting judgments on him already?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, let's. Well, where's this from? IMDb. IMDb.

[Gina Grad]

It says a perverted teenage boy who lives in the walls of a house, finds the house sold to a family after his mother dies and he falls for one of the new residents. Yeah, he's perverted.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a 13 year old guy and 3 hot blondes move in into his. His house. Essentially.

[Jason Sklar]

His fortunes change so much. But to call him perverted teenage boy, that's like saying drunk hobo. You don't need to say. Get it?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, cuz he's, he's, he's like bores little holes in the wall and he's like spying on the hot blonde cuz. And he's created a whole fantasy land in there where she's the princess and he's the prince.

[Brian Bishop]

This is a young.

[Adam Carolla]

Sad Ronald. Yeah, what was it was like Narnia or something like that. That was his.

[Brian Bishop]

He created the world.

[Adam Carolla]

He created this world. He's doing murals on the inside. Yeah, poor bad Ronald. Perverted.

[Jason Sklar]

Perverted.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me tell you about Simplisafe and then we'll get into some news. I've worked with these guys since they had 10 employees and now they're protecting over 2 million people. Exciting news. They just released their brand new home security security system. All new, simply safe. Smaller, faster, stronger than ever before. Completely rebuilt and redesigned. New safeguards against power outages, downed WI fi, cut lines, bats, hammers, you name it. Indestructible. Beautiful. It is the first security system actually says good looking, great design and no drilling, no pulling wires, no big time lock in contracts and big time months. Monthly bills, just 15 bucks a month. You get 24. 7 protection. Just 15 bucks a month and no long term lock in contracts. Supplies are limited. Peel and stick batteries last up to 10 years, up and running in under an hour. Get a break on your renters or homeowners insurance. Simplisafe.com Adam supplies aren't going to last long. Simplisafe.com Adam. Adam all right, Gina Grad, what do we got?

[Gina Grad]

Let's do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me News with Gina Grad. Trouble in the Middle east, celebrity drunk meltdown. Seek news with Gina Gina. The News with gina grad.

[Gina Grad]

Well, 48 hours on CBS is airing a special Saturday night on the death of Natalie Wood. And they are reinvestigating. Investigators are now calling husband Robert Wagner a person of interest. He is 88 years old. Almost 88.

[Jason Sklar]

Timely.

[Gina Grad]

Exactly. He was the last person to see her alive. On November 28, 1981, she drowned while sailing on a yacht to Catalina where Wagner and actor Christopher Walken were present. Wagner stated that he went to bed that night without wood and discovered her gone in the morning.

[Adam Carolla]

Her body woke up with wood even.

[Jason Sklar]

Though she was gone without it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jason Sklar]

We watched Miracle on 34th Street. That's a young Natalie Wood.

[Gina Grad]

That is a very young west side Story.

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Beautiful.

[Chet Waterhouse]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

The part of all any of these stories that gets a little tough. And so the part where the timeline parts like if my kids ever went missing. And then there's this part where my wife and I went back into the house and then 47 minutes later, the 911 call went out. That's where there's a little problem because anyone who's first off missing from a boat is not like missing from amusement park. You're missing from a boat means if I don't see your head within 18ft feet of this boat in the water, then you're gone. Or something horrific has happened. Yes. But the, it's kind of like the kind of reminds me the Shatner story, which, where he called 91 1. It's like he came home and he's like, my wife, I came home. My wife's at the bottom of the pool in the deep end. And they're like, we'll put down the phone and get her out of the pool. And then little mouth to mouth and I'm just saying, the part, I think, in this story where there's a little bit of a space in between the time she was missing and the time the Coast Guard was alerted, or the. Whoever you'll call it, you should never.

[Jason Sklar]

Say your testimony and then follow that up with you. Believe me, don't you?

[Adam Carolla]

That's not reasonable.

[Jason Sklar]

That sounds good.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Right.

[Gina Grad]

So in 2011, investigators reopened the case after the boat's captain, Dennis Davern, stated that he had lied to police during the initial investigation and believed that Wagner was responsible for the death. They both have spoken to witnesses who are nearby on a nearby boat and claimed to have heard Wagner and Wood arguing. This special is going to take place Saturday night, 48 hours on CBS, 10pm and he's 88. And now he is now a person of interest.

[Jason Sklar]

I mean, maybe it feels good for him to be a person of interest once again. He's 88.

[Adam Carolla]

Arguing's a pretty damn low threshold because anyone who lives in the Flintridge area has heard me argue with Lynette. Now, that's.

[Gina Grad]

But she always reappeared.

[Adam Carolla]

She mostly does appear from the box she's put together. Pretty good run, but let's not jinx it.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, sorry. Sorry, Lynette.

[Jason Sklar]

We got that cruise come after all of Take three.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So I believe part of the story was she was missing, and it was a while before they contacted anybody. And the while is the park.

[Jason Sklar]

Because wouldn't you, like, right away be like, oh, my God, this person is gone?

[Gina Grad]

Not. What are we doing?

[Adam Carolla]

I think if there are no extenuating circumstances, there's just nothing at all. And look, extenuating circumstance could be. We brought a kilo pot that we were bringing. We were bringing in. I got a buddy who. Avalon, who lives in Avalon. We're going to drop off a hay bale, a pot, and. Oh, my God, we can't call the Coast Guard because the going to come. Oh, my God, I love my wife.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, but.

[Adam Carolla]

But we got this pot, like, so if there's no circumstances like that, and it's just, I love my wife and she's missing, then it's right away.

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah, but how does she. How do you. How does someone drive? You got to do a few things before you drown. Before you get off a boat, you got to get off. You got to bump your head or do something that makes you unconscious, and then you got to fall into the water and be weighted, and you have to go down in it. I mean, there's never.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, never.

[Jason Sklar]

A few things happen before you get out and drown for Natalie Wood. I mean I remember we were kids, we didn't even know who Nally Wood was. But that horrible joke started circulating around. What's the only wood that doesn't float? Natalie. And that, that's how we got introduced to it. But still, I think something had to happen.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't just fall off a boat and drown. I got two things to say if I was his. Even if he's guilty, he's 88 years old and. Ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen the jury. May I present to you an episode of Heart to Heart. Because this is an awesome TV show. They solved murders together. He was an independently rich man who being wildly successful. She was beautiful. That was her. Was the beginning of.

[Gina Grad]

That's what she brought to the table.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Sklar]

Looking kind of an investigator.

[Adam Carolla]

Issue one. Yeah, that's Mrs. Hot. The beginning of Heart to Heart was great. They had like a butler. She, he drove a 308 Ferrari. She drove a Mercedes like 560 convertible or something like that. I remember as a kid babysitting and watching the show going this does not resemble the Corolla family at all.

[Jason Sklar]

I gotta get into private investigating.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I wish my dad would get into something lucrative having never seen an.

[Brian Bishop]

Episode of Heart to Heart. Is that the premise of the show? He's rich, she's hot and they've solved crime.

[Jason Sklar]

Solve crime?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well she's rich too cuz she's married.

[Gina Grad]

Mr. And Mrs. Hart.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, we gotta find it. Let's see, let's see if it's too hard. It's narrated by the butler. This is my boss, Jonathan A so fake millionaire. He's quite a guy. Go ahead. You know.

[Gina Grad]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

[Jason Sklar]

What a terrific lady. Easy. By the way, my name is Max.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Jason Sklar]

I take care of them, which ain't easy cause their hobby is murder. Phenomenal.

[Gina Grad]

Sweet.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, when I was like 13 and I was at my neighbor's house watching this. Oh my God, look at that. They got their own jet. Maybe he took his work home for with him.

[Jason Sklar]

His hobby is murder.

[Adam Carolla]

They loved each other.

[Jason Sklar]

They did.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Yeah. So her qualifications was. She looked good in shorts.

[Jason Sklar]

Sanctioned by who? Like who are they solving murders for?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know, but you want to enjoy 41 minutes of quality programming. Watch an episode of Heart to Heart. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

So was Scarecrow and Mrs. King like the poor man's version of Heart to.

[Adam Carolla]

Heart that came after this? I think it did.

[Gina Grad]

And who are the brothers? So and so and so and so Johnson And Johnson.

[Jason Sklar]

No, there was Matt Simon. And Simon, there was Matt someone. P.I. matt Houston.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Matt Houston.

[Jason Sklar]

Houston Magnum, P.I.

[Adam Carolla]

There was a lot of people in.

[Jason Sklar]

The 80s and the 70s when everyone was like, look, I can't trust the regular investigators to handle this. I gotta go.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, and also to a private investigator. But I think it speaks to the nature of the crime, because back then, there was international jewel thieves that are blown into town. And now today's crime is what happened. A junkie hit a guy with a hammer on the subway.

[Jason Sklar]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but you don't need Jonathan Hart for that.

[Jason Sklar]

No, maybe not.

[Adam Carolla]

That's popo stuff. There's nothing to solve. The guy standing there holding a hammer. You know what I mean? This they had to solve was Murder She Wrote.

[Brian Bishop]

A senior citizen's version of all this.

[Gina Grad]

The best of all of them, Jessica Fletcher and Cabot Cohen.

[Adam Carolla]

And this is when you would hang out, have to pose as somebody to solve everything.

[Jason Sklar]

By the way, like, great idea. Because she's the one that everyone didn't take seriously enough. It's like you're just someone's grandma. You're not kind of the whole idea of Fargo, the movie, it's like this pregnant woman is going to solve this.

[Brian Bishop]

They never see it coming.

[Jason Sklar]

They don't see it coming because she's right there. This is like FBI people and people under Secret Service and undercover. They're the most normal people looking. They don't look great.

[Adam Carolla]

They hide in plain normal people.

[Jason Sklar]

Not Daniel Craig.

[Adam Carolla]

Craig Daniels. I'll do for The Sklar Brothers. Dr. Drew's least favorite reoccurring joke from. You know what it is from those days, from the Loveline days. But this week on Hart to Heart. In order to catch a jewel thief, Jonathan Hart is gonna have to become a rapist. Every single one ended in rapists. The front part would be different. About breaking up an international smuggling ring. Jonathan Hart is going to have to become a rapist. And Drew would always go, what is funny about that?

[Jason Sklar]

You're like, because it doesn't fit.

[Adam Carolla]

He never. That couldn't explain it.

[Jason Sklar]

It's not you saying. You commenting on what his behavior is.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, all right, all right. Let's do one more.

[Gina Grad]

Well, Elon Musk claims to have sold out of flamethrowers in just four days. According to C. Cnn, the Tesla founder said on Twitter that he would stop taking orders of the $500 devices after selling 20,000 of them. The goal is to raise $10 million for his tunneling business called the Boring Company. The Boring Company insisted the flamethrowers are safe. A spokesman calls the flamethrowers, quote, thrilling without. Without being dangerous, like a roller coaster. And Musk had advertised the flamethrower as, quote, guaranteed to liven up any party. What a huge reaction online.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait minute A. Yeah. How I almost don't believe my daughter's.

[Brian Bishop]

Turning two in a few months.

[Jason Sklar]

Southern California. I mean, you get a legal ember, can travel 15 miles and start another fire. I don't know. I don't know about that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, a couple things. Yeah. The. This guy's a genius. He is. I realized, a part of the genius. My wife Lynette, she's got the Tesla. We're now literally today. You love this. Like, she called me last night when I was driving home from 19 podcasts. Like, the Tesla guy needs an answer tonight. And I'm like, no, he doesn't. Like, I love it when people go. And then everyone buys into it. Like, my God, you'll tell him tomorrow or the next day. And he'll just take whatever information we tell him first. $104,000 plug in car. But, okay, he needs an answer tonight. Like, I love that. Okay, she wants the suv, the axe.

[Jason Sklar]

The one with the doors come up.

[Gina Grad]

Delorean doors.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I started thinking about it. I'm like, ah, the Tesla's cool, but there's a lot of good product out there and a lot of good companies making a lot of good stuff. And then I thought, wait a minute. I had the fast charger hardwired to the garage wall, and the electrician had to run. This is 240 or 220 or 240. Whatever it is, 240. And it's just a major currency, major voltage. And the guy had to do a home run all the way to the panel on the other side of the house. And it was at least 3.3grand just to heat that thing up. Now, I can't let that thing just sit there and gather dust while she pulls in into the Denali. I got to plug it into something every night. And thus, it's another Tesla. They got you once you get that thing hardwired in your garage and it's long enough and expensive and enough and everything else, you. Psychologically, it's like.

[Jason Sklar]

It's like you've already bought it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's like having a gas pump you can't use and you're going to use something else.

[Jason Sklar]

So it does feel good to like, pack by gas stations and be like, I have a Chevy bolt.

[Adam Carolla]

So I'D have, oh, you know, I.

[Jason Sklar]

Have a Chevy bolt. And just driving by gas station, although, scariest thing in my life was we didn't realize. This is when we just got it. We didn't realize how far you can go with it.

[Adam Carolla]

So they have a volt and a bolt.

[Jason Sklar]

A bolt is completely. A volt has a little bit of gas in it. Bolt is completely electric.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And it's good. It's good range. Good car. Right.

[Jason Sklar]

Pretty good range. Except it's great range in the city. But then when you get on the highway, you start going on the highway.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Stopping as much miles, start coming off fast.

[Jason Sklar]

You go one mile and five come off the thing. So it's about, about 240 miles. You get on your charge right there. And I'm going out to Palm. I'm like, let's take it to Palm Springs and we'll see if we can get out there. We barely, barely got out there. And then coming back, I'm driving back, and we go down the 111 till you get to the, you know, to get to the 10 freeway. And we get down the 111 and we are now down to 160 miles left. And we still gotta go about 80, 90 miles here. And we were, I was like, we're not gonna make it home. And there are no. It's not like you stop on the side of the road. There's no. And there's no gas in the car. And the place you stop on that trip back in from Palm Springs is East la.

[Adam Carolla]

That.

[Jason Sklar]

That's where you end up when you.

[Adam Carolla]

When you run out.

[Jason Sklar]

I was super nervous.

[Adam Carolla]

Make a note for my coffee table book what black people think white people talk about all day.

[Brian Bishop]

Where you can't stop on the way to Palm Springs to charge up your electric car.

[Jason Sklar]

Then I put that under the chapter of Cabinet Cupboard.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Sklar]

Cabinet Vehicle.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's a good, it's a, the. It's a good vehicle. And you can charge it fully overnight.

[Jason Sklar]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And you got the fast charge.

[Jason Sklar]

I. I have the thing. Yeah, the two thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Yeah. So you're married to that now.

[Jason Sklar]

You got to get it.

[Gina Grad]

That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

Got to get it.

[Joel McHale]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I'll tell you what. If your wife wants a Tesla and I can talk my wife into the bolt, then maybe we can do a thing where she parks in your garage. We do like a modern swinging move. It's just literally.

[Jason Sklar]

How is car swap. And that's literally a key party.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Jason Sklar]

It's a keyless party.

[Brian Bishop]

Key fob party.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, one more.

[Gina Grad]

All right. Oh, here's one.

[Adam Carolla]

Did I say one more already?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, we'll do one more. We'll do one more. Well, Florida is officially the worst state in america according to thrillist.com after factoring in each state's contributions to America, like important, well known people, inventions, food and drinks.

[Adam Carolla]

Whoa, wait a minute. They gave us Pitbull.

[Jason Sklar]

Hey, I saw Pitbull performed at the all, all star game. I think this year his, his jersey that he wore could not have been tucked into his jeans any further. I was like, dude, you got. You cannot. You don't get to wear a jersey if you're tucking. If you are tucking that jersey in. So like you are not allowed. You can't tuck in. Into the logo. Like the logo can't be tucked.

[Joel McHale]

You can't.

[Adam Carolla]

Is this Pitbull?

[Jason Sklar]

Did he win a Make a wish like this?

[Adam Carolla]

Can I say this? I want to controversial here, A little bit controversial, but I'm thinking about the last act of my career. Is there a place with a bunch of Americans, not on this continent per se, that I could go to and just be king of the Americans? Because I think we can all agree Pitbull, without the Cuban community or whatever, is just a guy who can't rap very well with a bow tie undone. Right? Like, where's the. And I always kind of. I had a friend. Literally. Yes, literally yesterday. He said, hey, he's not in the business, but he knows his way around. And he said, it's a guy named Russell Peters. And I said, yeah. He said he had a house, it was like $8 million and they bought another one that was like $4 million. I said, yeah, Russell's a great guy. Drives around a Rolls Royce and stuff like that. And he said, I've never heard of Russell Peters. How come I've never heard of Russell Peters? And I said he sells out many megadomes around the world. Around the world. And he went, but how come I never heard of him? I said, he's Indian and he has an Indian from Canada, but he has this Indian audience and sells out. And I think, you know, I don't think we're being that douchey when we'd say like he's unsarry. You know, Madison Square Garden, a lot of that is a lot of folks with a lot of heritage that he, he shares, let's say. I don't know what percentage he though.

[Jason Sklar]

Had like a comedy following.

[Adam Carolla]

Dana Gould does too. But I mean, I mean we're playing clubs and things like that. Not playing the man. The reason he'd never heard of the guy and the reason he has an $8 million house is because he caters to this audience. And this audience is very supportive. And the. And the thing is, you don't have to whack it up a million ways. Like with me and Dana Gould and the Sklar brothers. We get spread out pretty. Pretty thin. Right? We're suckers.

[Joel McHale]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

We should figure out our people, our. Our audience. Our Cuban audience. You know what I mean?

[Jason Sklar]

Twins. Like just like. Just full twin audience. Full, straight up.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta find a place that has a lot of Americans and then I can go there and be sort of suck them all into the concert.

[Gina Grad]

Or you could get more specific and just go for Hungarians by marriage.

[Adam Carolla]

Whatever it is. I gotta fight focus.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because this. Come on down. It's not. Not cutting it. I gotta figure it out.

[Brian Bishop]

Maybe a POW camp in, like, Afghanistan or something. It's all Americans.

[Jason Sklar]

It is all Americans.

[Adam Carolla]

Something. I wonder, what's football? What is the version of Cuba in Pitbull? That's all I'm saying. Because we can all agree that Pitbull is talentless. We can also agree that pit bull is wildly. Look at how much beloved. Right?

[Jason Sklar]

Look at how much is Jersey was tucked into his pants.

[Gina Grad]

He's pulling that V down pretty hard.

[Jason Sklar]

It is the V. The V should not be between your chest. The driving gloves I have a problem with.

[Adam Carolla]

So we can all agree.

[Jason Sklar]

Batting gloves. They're driving.

[Brian Bishop]

If you're going to wear a jersey like that, you better be on the field, in the game.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. So if you're Eminem, you better be Eminem.

[Jason Sklar]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

You got to bring it. Right?

[Gina Grad]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

There's no such thing as. Or Jay Z or whoever. There's Snoop Dogg. You cannot be Pitbull Eminem because then we never hear you.

[Jason Sklar]

You gotta be. You gotta know.

[Adam Carolla]

Exactly. But we gotta speak to the Cuban community. Right?

[Brian Bishop]

Find your audience.

[Adam Carolla]

All right?

[Brian Bishop]

Your base.

[Adam Carolla]

Tell Matt finally to find me my base. Come moving.

[Jason Sklar]

Find the damn base.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm dancing my ass off playing clubs. You know what I mean? I should be just playing stadiums in a place that appreciates me, you know, not for my billing.

[Jason Sklar]

You should be able to come walk on stage and tell funny stories while you build a cabinet it. And get a standing ovation.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

You're right. With a bunch of people at Ms. Home.

[Jason Sklar]

Yes. That's what I needed.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And then I'll work it out. Like, I'll come out Encino in the house. Hey, man, remember Henry's tacos? Yeah, man. And I'll work some stories, like, you know, modify them, you know. So, man, the other day I was just thinking about going down the 101 where it turns into the 134 before. Right. Now, of course, goes and turns into the 210 out in Pasadena way, but.

[Brian Bishop]

It'S still the 134.

[Jason Sklar]

I mean, am I right, ladies?

[Adam Carolla]

Am I right, ladies? We're all going nuts. Yeah, man. You remember. Remember the OR box? That was a good place to get clothing out near Van Eyes. Well, Sherman Oaks. Van Eyes. Van Eyes. Sherman.

[Jason Sklar]

Oh, say Sherman Oaks. I say Van Nuys.

[Brian Bishop]

We're playing with the home crowd.

[Adam Carolla]

Sherman's going berserk.

[Jason Sklar]

It's called the Corolla. Comfort food, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Awesome.

[Gina Grad]

That's good.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm in. Comfort food Tour Valley.

[Jason Sklar]

On the road also.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's bring it home.

[Gina Grad]

Well, can I tell you real quick, worst state? Florida. Would you care to guess the best state as ranked by Thrillist?

[Jason Sklar]

Colorado.

[Adam Carolla]

That's pretty good.

[Gina Grad]

Usually does come in pretty high.

[Adam Carolla]

That's pretty good. Oregon's good.

[Jason Sklar]

Oregon's good. Colorado's good.

[Gina Grad]

I don't think you'll see this one coming.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm gonna go.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'm not gonna see it coming. Oh, I know it. I don'.

[Brian Bishop]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

It's based on Montana.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Texas.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gina Grad]

Strong choices.

[Jason Sklar]

Minnesota.

[Gina Grad]

None of them correct. Number one, as reported by Thrillist. Number one state in the country. Michigan.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What? What?

[Gina Grad]

Michigan.

[Jason Sklar]

That's where we went to college.

[Brian Bishop]

The star brothers out of college.

[Gina Grad]

Has more coastline than any other state except for Alaska. Undeniably beautiful Upper Peninsula. The Uppers Cup.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a lake.

[Jason Sklar]

It's lake.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a lake.

[Jason Sklar]

I mean, look at all. Great thing, that stuff that's happening in Flint.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's on the rise.

[Gina Grad]

Great water.

[Jason Sklar]

Most of the drinking water is potable.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, the other part's flammable.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, there you go. Let's bring it home.

[Gina Grad]

You got it. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina. Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad. All right, Geico, man, everyone's got the to do list. How about you had this. Save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance at Geico. Just go to Geico. 15 minutes, you could be saving 15% or more on your car insurance. Why would you do anything else? You go to Geico, slide on over, do it in your slipper and bathrobes. I think I. Pluralized the wrong outfit there slippers in bathrobe and hop on your computer and go to geico.com 15 minutes could be saving 15% or more on your car insurance. I got live shows all over the place. You just go to AdamKroll.com if you want to seeing me now before I repatriate. I guess that would be. Nah, it's not quite that. I'm moving. I'm moving to a place where I can be loved for no good reason.

[Brian Bishop]

Sure, embrace.

[Adam Carolla]

That's an embrace as a local embrace I got to see.

[Jason Sklar]

When this movie comes out you will see an uptick in your ticket sales. Poop Related Followers People love poop poop.

[Adam Carolla]

Talk that is February 16th in theaters and vod come see me me being the most me ever.

[Jason Sklar]

He's amazing in it.

[Adam Carolla]

Hilarious website supersclars.com where you can go for info for screening and live shows and everything else. And until next time. Oh yeah, the podcast. We got everything. It's good enough. Till next time. Adam Corolla for Jeff Cesario Randy Skar Jason Skina Grand Ball Brian Sam Mahalo.

[Gina Grad]

Major Key Key alert.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, this is Adam Cooler show 2252. That does it for Acequila Classics.

[Brian Bishop]

Make sure to tune in tomorrow for.

[Adam Carolla]

An all new installment.

[Brian Bishop]

Until then, holla and get it on.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, never.