Adam Carolla Show — Carolla Classics: John Mulaney + Rich Eisen (December 14, 2025)

Episode Overview

This "Carolla Classics" episode is a curated montage of standout moments from the long-running Adam Carolla Show. Classic segments feature comedian John Mulaney and sports broadcaster Rich Eisen, along with other comedic heavy-hitters including Greg Fitzsimmons, Joe Walsh, and Allison Rosen. The episode delivers Adam's signature mix of sharp, irreverent humor, cultural commentary, nostalgic reflections, and frank discussions, ranging from pop culture and politics to music and parenting.

Key Segments & Insights

1. Mandatory Ebola Quarantine & Political Posturing

(00:55–08:19)

• The panel discusses the controversy over mandatory quarantine for health workers returning from Ebola hot zones, focusing on the case of nurse Kaci Hickox.
• Allison recounts the conditions Hickox endured and the backlash from politicians like Chris Christie.
• Adam skewers politicians for exploiting such topics for votes, satirizing their self-aggrandizing "safety at all costs" rhetoric.

Memorable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla (01:50): "No fucking cable. Oh no, I'm sorry, you don't do that to another American."
• Greg Fitzsimmons (05:11): "I'm gonna block a bridge and block an artery. Gotta get out of here."

2. Ebola Paranoia & Bridal Shop Panic

(05:59–08:08)

• The team riffs on public hysteria after an Ebola-infected nurse visited an Ohio bridal shop, forcing it to close temporarily.
• The segment morphs into absurdity about the cleanliness of wedding gowns and origins of bridal veils as disease protection.

Memorable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla (06:23): "Because it looks like a mortuary. It looks like a mortuary."
• Greg Fitzsimmons (07:54): "Save only the brides, and then all the men should be able to have sex with them, really. To make sure that they're as productive as possible."

3. Adam & Greg on Medical Gowns and Hospital Policies

(08:19–11:40)

• Allison Rosen narrates the indignities of wearing two hospital gowns for surgery. Adam riffs on the illogic of hospital underpants rules.
• Tangents include sitcom pigs (Green Acres' Arnold) and the logistics of surgery attire.

Notable Banter:

• Adam Carolla (10:35): "[Trying to put on hospital pants after surgery] ... both legs through the same hole. You know what I mean? Drooling and flopping about, back, asshole and sack hanging out, door cracked open."

4. In-Studio with Joe Walsh: Sobriety, Guitar Heroes, and the Eagles

(12:51–36:01)

• Joe Walsh recounts going sober after years of excess and chaos in his rock-star days.
• Adam marvels at Walsh’s storied career in the James Gang and the Eagles, his musical evolution, and personal redemption.
• Walsh details the inner politics, creative tensions, and wild days of the Eagles, underscored by his humility and comedic timing.

Top Quotes:

• Joe Walsh (13:42): "I'm sober. I'm 18 years sober."
• Adam Carolla (18:28): "Infiltrate the Eagles—how did that work?"

Music & Culture:

• Adam praises “Walk Away” and "In the City" as defining Walsh moments.
• Inside tales: How band changes and their desire for more "rock and roll" led Walsh to join the Eagles; band democracy ("democratic dictatorship") and legendary songwriting.

Industry Changes:

• Walsh laments the digital age's impact on music royalties and challenges facing modern musicians.
• Ringo Starr, Jeff Lynne, and David Crosby's role in his later solo work get highlighted.

5. Celebrity, Digital Age & The Legacy of Rock

(36:07–49:43)

• The group reflects on the transformation of the music business, the decline of physical album sales, and the rise of direct-to-fan models (e.g., Radiohead).
• Key comparison: Jeff Lynne (underrated) vs. Bob Dylan (overrated—recurring Carolla riff).
• Joe Walsh tells tales of touring excess, bass legend John Entwistle ("loudest thing I ever heard"), and partying with Keith Moon.
• Adam lauds the pre-AIDS, mid-cocaine era as a "golden age" for rock debauchery.

Memorable Moments:

• Adam Carolla (30:15): “The best time to be around and especially in a rock band is pre aids, mid Coke."
• Joe Walsh (34:54): "Jeff Lynne... He played everything on the ELO albums."

6. News Roundtable with Allison Rosen

(36:18–49:53)

• Bizarre news stories: Company accidentally fires its whole staff by email; Helen Keller-branded sunglasses in China.
• Joe Walsh jokes about his "undercover CIA operative" status in the Eagles and his quixotic run for President.
• The Pizza Hut Middle East cheeseburger-crust pizza leads to riffs on global junk food culture, marketing, and terrorism.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla (39:45): "This is gonna solve this terrorist problem when we get them as fat as USA, the explosive vest isn't gonna fit anymore."

7. Joe Walsh on Family, Marriage Changes & Next-Gen Creatives

(59:31–64:44)

• Walsh reflects on his children, including one training as an opera singer and another gigging at the Roxy.
• Discusses the emotional song "Family" from his new solo album, crediting his wife Marjorie for ushering in a happier, more introspective phase of his life.

Heartfelt Moment:

• Joe Walsh (64:29): "Yeah, she's like the part of me that was missing."
• Adam Carolla (64:35): "You know what? That's beautiful. And I'd like to credit Marjorie for my book as well."

8. Parenting, Nature vs. Nurture, and Family Dynamics

(149:49–184:44)

• Longtime theme: Are parenting and environment truly deterministic, or are people wired from the start?
• Carolla and Greg Fitzsimmons dissect their own childhoods, parental indifference ("lazy guest" story), and the immutable personalities of their kids.
• Hilarious and vulnerable stories about Carolla’s daughter rejecting cuddles because "he makes farties"; discussion of whether parental effort or innate temperament drives outcomes.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla (144:10): “She hasn't developed a super ego. She's all in."
• Greg Fitzsimmons (182:59): "If you're bad at math, you're going to be bad at math at 13 and 113. So fuck it."

9. Classic Callers, Marriage Comedy, and Behind-the-Scenes Jokes

(80:45–84:53; 151:59–162:44)

• Callers pitch soap businesses and ask about marriage dynamics and comedic sign-offs (“zip it cunt”).
• Adam lampoons TV reality show formats (“one drunken super rich guy on Shark Tank”), and guests riff on the absurdities of domestic quirks and the perils of booking uninteresting guests.

10. John Mulaney on Upbringing, SNL, and Working with Comedy Icons

(74:47–100:26)

• Mulaney shares his path from Georgetown to SNL writer, being raised by two lawyers, and his stand-up origins.
• Talks openly about working alongside comedy legends (Elliott Gould, Martin Short), with stories of awe, humility, and the dual thrill/pressure of creating comedy with "Ferraris."
• Deep dive into the bizarre world of public-access interviewer Skippy Low, which Adam and Mulaney analyze for its inadvertent absurdism.

Notable Quotes:

• John Mulaney (100:11): "Driving a Ferrari with really famous people... any scrape I make, everyone notices."

11. Referee Scandals and NFL Replay Fiascos (Rich Eisen Segment)

(192:47–207:04)

• Adam brings in Rich Eisen to break down the NFL’s 2012 replacement referee controversy, dissecting the infamous Green Bay/Seattle “Fail Mary” game.
• They query the complexities of replay mechanics, judgment calls, the psychology of “not enough proof” verdicts, and propose tongue-in-cheek fixes ("Bring out the gimp!").

Memorable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla (206:44): "I prefer to think of him as the Gimp from Pulp Fiction. Break out the Gimp!"

Selected Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• Adam Carolla on Politicians:
  "Politicians talking about bees and trees. It's no good. They don't get any traction with that." (05:28)

• Joe Walsh on Sobriety:
  "I'm sober. I'm 18 years sober." (13:42)

• Adam Carolla's Music Industry Rant:
  "It was corrupt and the record companies were crooked, but at least they paid you something, right? Now nobody pays you anything." (23:34)

• Joe Walsh on Family:
  "Yeah, she's like the part of me that was missing." (64:29)

• Greg Fitzsimmons on Parenting:
  "If you're bad at math, you're going to be bad at math at 13 and 113. So fuck it. Yeah, get an accountant and then do something where you excel." (182:59)

• Adam Carolla’s Replay Idea:
  "Put your head under the hood, see the replay, make the call. And if somebody said... did they call an interception or a touchdown? I'd say, none of your fucking business. Go put your head under the hood and tell me what you see." (202:24)

Episode Tone & Style

Consistent with The Adam Carolla Show’s legacy, this episode is energetic, unfiltered, and rapid-fire. Witty, critical, and at times profane, the panelists combine genuine insight with a relentless comedic perspective. The conversation freely leaps from pop culture and sports to relationships and personal anecdotes, blending sharp satire with moments of real sincerity and human connection.

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• Ebola Quarantine Debate: 00:55–08:19
• Joe Walsh Interview (Eagles & Music): 12:51–36:01, 36:07–49:43
• Joe Walsh’s Family Reflections: 59:31–64:44
• Parenting & Nature vs. Nurture: 149:49–184:44
• John Mulaney Segment: 74:47–100:26
• NFL Replacement Referee Scandal (Rich Eisen): 192:47–207:04

Conclusion

This Carolla Classics compilation is a robust sampler of the Adam Carolla Show’s best: a carousel of rapid banter, deeply candid (and edgy) comedy, cultural critique, and classic Americana stories from the fringes of showbiz and suburbia alike. Listeners get an unfiltered window into the minds of stand-up icons, music legends, and the everyday absurdities that keep Carolla and his fans coming back.