Jonathan Kite’s Spot On Tom Hanks & Al Pacino Impressions + Dr. Gundry’s Food Truth Bombs

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show: Episode Summary Episode Title: Jonathan Kite’s Spot On Tom Hanks & Al Pacino Impressions + Dr. Gundry’s Food Truth Bombs Release Date: June 9, 2025

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1. Frustration Over a Blocked Driveway [03:02 – 12:12]

The episode kicks off with Adam Carolla recounting a personal experience where a semi-truck was obstructing his driveway, disrupting his morning routine. Frustrated by the truck driver's unwillingness to move the vehicle efficiently, Adam highlights common issues with uncooperative delivery drivers:

• Adam Carolla [06:15]: "They’re clogging up the entire thing... I just want to get into my driveway."
• Jonathan Kite [09:43]: "They’re part of the problem. They just clog up the entire thing."

This segment sets a humorous yet relatable tone, discussing everyday inconveniences and the lack of basic consideration in public spaces.

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2. Reflections on High School Eras and Social Trends [12:12 – 23:56]

Adam delves into a nostalgic discussion about different high school eras, exploring how cultural trends influence popularity and social interactions among students:

• Adam Carolla [13:48]: "It’s really luck of the draw, era-wise... If I was the captain of the football team in the 50s, then I get the head cheerleader, but not in the 80s."
• Jonathan Kite [14:00]: "I think geography has something to do with it too. Being from the Bible Belt..."

They examine how being a "jock" or part of a particular subculture affects social dynamics, reflecting on their own high school experiences with a mix of humor and insight.

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3. Comedy Segment: Jonathan Kite’s Al Pacino Impression in "Cruising" [23:56 – 54:59]

Jonathan Kite brings his comedic talent to the forefront with spot-on impressions of Al Pacino and Tom Hanks. The duo humorously critiques the 1980 film "Cruising," focusing on its infamous bandana scene:

• Jonathan Kite [37:18]: "He goes, hips or lips. What do you do? Nothing. This is the coldest read I've ever seen."
• Adam Carolla [43:17]: "He’s gotta suck this guy’s dick... It’s gotta be lips if you don’t do anything."

They recreate a fictional dialogue between Pacino’s character and a bandana store owner, poking fun at the movie’s awkward attempt at incorporating coded messages for sexual encounters. This segment highlights the duo's chemistry and Jonathan’s exceptional impression skills, providing listeners with plenty of laughs.

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4. Language Policing and Political Satire [54:59 – 75:00]

Shifting gears, the conversation turns to the topic of language policing, where Adam and Jonathan critique the changing vernacular and its implications:

• Jonathan Kite [67:19]: "We’re just canceling words right now... like 'turbulence' becoming 'rough air'."
• Adam Carolla [73:33]: "If I just say, look, I need a roofer, but he’s got to be albino, someone would not a job for him."

The discussion evolves into a satirical take on current political figures, particularly focusing on President Joe Biden and former press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre:

• Alicia Krauss [75:05]: "The description of the book says it will look at the 'three weeks that led to Joe Biden's abandoning his bid for a second term.'"
• Adam Carolla [75:52]: "Joe Biden is essentially a drunken airline pilot and we’re all on the plane..."

This segment blends humor with political commentary, offering a critical yet entertaining perspective on contemporary politics.

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5. News Update: Karine Jean-Pierre’s Shift to Independent & Upcoming Book [75:00 – 87:14]

Alicia Krauss provides a news update about Karine Jean-Pierre, the former White House press secretary for President Biden, who has registered as an independent and is set to release a book detailing her experiences:

• Alicia Krauss [75:02]: "Former Biden White House press secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, revealed she was registering as an independent and announced a forthcoming book about her time in the administration."
• Jonathan Kite [75:48]: "When was the last time one of them left with a bomb to be like, wow, we didn’t know that?"

The hosts discuss the potential impact of her revelations and the broader implications for the Biden administration, adding depth to the episode’s content.

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6. Dr. Steven Gundry’s Nutrition Segment: The Gut-Brain Paradox [73:51 – 87:14]

Dr. Steven Gundry joins the show to discuss his insights on nutrition, focusing on the importance of healthy oils and proteins for gut and brain health:

Oils Ranking [73:51 – 84:10]

• Number 1: Olive Oil
  • Dr. Gundry [97:07]: "Number one is definitely olive oil."
  • Emphasizes choosing extra virgin and organic varieties, highlighting the benefits of high polyphenol content.
• Number 2: Perilla Oil
  • Dr. Gundry [102:12]: "Perilla oil is the number one oil in Korea and China, almost pure alpha-linolenic acid."
• Number 3: Organic Canola Oil
  • Dr. Gundry [103:21]: "Canola oil is actually rapeseed oil that is incredibly prevalent in Europe and rich in omega-3s."
• Number 4: Avocado Oil
  • Dr. Gundry [103:21]: "Avocado is the same oleic acid as olive oil, but it just doesn’t have much polyphenol content."
• Number 5: Ghee or Butter
  • Dr. Gundry [104:20]: "Ghee has had all the solids removed and is shelf-stable. Butter contains carbon 15, which helps prevent heart disease."

Protein Ranking [84:10 – 87:14]

• Number 1: Wild Shellfish and Wild Fish
  • Dr. Gundry [99:02]: "Wild salmon is great and should be prioritized over farm-raised options."
• Number 2: Pastured Chicken
  • Dr. Gundry [106:47]: "Pastured chicken that forages naturally is superior to conventional poultry."
• Number 3: Elk and Deer
  • Dr. Gundry [111:19]: "Elk and deer lack the harmful Neu5Gc sugar found in beef, making them a healthier choice."

Dr. Gundry also touches on the importance of fermented cheeses and specific types of rice and sweet potatoes, providing listeners with actionable dietary advice to enhance their gut and brain health.

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7. Final Remarks and Upcoming Segments [87:14 – End]

As the episode wraps up, Adam thanks his guests and co-hosts while teasing upcoming content:

• Adam Carolla: "Dr. Steven Gundry back in studio. The book 'The Gut Brain Paradox' and also the Dr. Gundry podcast..."
• Jonathan Kite: "Jonathan Kite has dates coming up all over the place... visit AdamKroll.com for live shows."

The hosts conclude with light-hearted banter, reinforcing their camaraderie and setting the stage for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Adam Carolla [43:17]: "He’s gotta suck this guy’s dick... It’s gotta be lips if you don’t do anything."
• Jonathan Kite [37:18]: "He goes, hips or lips. What do you do? Nothing. This is the coldest read I've ever seen."
• Dr. Steven Gundry [97:07]: "Number one is definitely olive oil."
• Dr. Steven Gundry [103:21]: "Canola oil is actually rapeseed oil that is incredibly prevalent in Europe and rich in omega-3s."
• Alicia Krauss [75:02]: "The description of the book says it will look at the 'three weeks that led to Joe Biden's abandoning his bid for a second term.'"

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Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show masterfully blends humor, personal anecdotes, political satire, and expert nutritional advice. From Adam's exasperating encounter with a truck driver to Jonathan Kite's hilarious impressions and Dr. Gundry’s insightful health recommendations, the show offers a diverse range of topics that cater to a wide audience. Notable for its engaging banter and informative segments, this episode stands out as a quintessential example of the show's dynamic and entertaining format.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

On this show, comedian Jonathan Kite comes in, brings all his funny impressions. Also news with Alicia Krauss and Dr. Steven Gundry, who you're going to learn just you're literally going to want to take notes at the end of the show in terms of what to eat. I know I did. We'll do all that right after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Summer is here and Podcast one has a brand new sports podcast. It's the all new Pac Man Jones show called Politely Raw. Now on Podcast one, join former NFL star and Pro bowl cornerback Pac Man Jones as he brings you his unfiltered takes, raw interviews and stories as only he can tell them. If you love sports culture and controversy, you're going to love Politely Raw as nothing is off limits. This makes for an entertaining and compelling listen each and every time. The new Pac Man Jones show Politely Raw episodes drop weekly and are available wherever you find podcasts.

[Alicia Krauss]

Hi Zoe Saldana.

[Jonathan Kite]

Welcome to T Mobile.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Thanks.

[Adam Carolla]

And here's my old phone to trade in. You don't need a trade in.

[Alicia Krauss]

When you switch to T Mobile, we'll.

[Adam Carolla]

Give you a new iPhone 16 Pro.

[Jonathan Kite]

Plus we'll help you pay off your old phone. Up to 800 bucks and you still get.

[Adam Carolla]

There's always a trade in.

[Alicia Krauss]

Not right now.

[Jonathan Kite]

@ T Mobile.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

I feel like I have to give.

[Adam Carolla]

You something in return for karma. That's okay.

[Jonathan Kite]

I don't really have much in my purse.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, let's see.

[Jonathan Kite]

Hand sanitizer.

[Adam Carolla]

It's lavender. I'm good.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Seriously.

[Jonathan Kite]

Let me check this pocket. Oh, mints.

[Adam Carolla]

Really, I'm fine.

[Alicia Krauss]

Oh, I have raisins.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm a mom. Wait, wait one sec. I've got cupcakes in the car. It's our best iPhone offer ever. Switch to T Mobile.

[Jonathan Kite]

Get a new iPhone 16 Pro with.

[Adam Carolla]

Apple Intelligence on us.

[Dawson]

No trade in needed.

[Jonathan Kite]

We'll even pay off your phone up to 800 bucks. 24 monthly bill credits, new line $100 plus a month on experience beyond finance agreement. $999.99 and qualifying. Boarded for well qualified plus tax and $10 connection charge. Payout via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days credits and imbalance due if you pay off earlier.

[Adam Carolla]

Cancel ctmobile.com did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance. And keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications, kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely. And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money. With guardrails in place, try Greenlight Risk free [e-mail] wondery to see the video version of the Adam Carolis show, check us out on YouTube and rumble linked in the description.

[Producer]

From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Jonathan Kite. Plus the news and trending topics with Alicia Krauss. And now a man who gets diarrhea from trying to spell diarrhea. Adam, car.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get on a chess again on Monday.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Check.

[Adam Carolla]

Get it on. Thanks for tuning in and thanks for going to the YouTube page and watching all the fire vlogs and all the fun clips we've been posting. It's growing. We got guys doing a great job. So thanks for supporting that. Jonathan Kite back in studio. Jonathan's got dates coming up. Tempe, Arizona. Tempe improv coming up 13th through the 15th of June. And you can go to Jonathan Kite comedy to find out where he's gonna be. He's a real funny standup. And of course, Alicia Krause here. All right, plugs for you coming up soon enough, Alicia. Do not worry.

[Alicia Krauss]

That's okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Now let me ask you guys like an etiquette thing.

[Alicia Krauss]

Oh, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is I am supposed to be here in the AM before this to do my beat it out thing, which I do with Jay Moore, which is on Substack, which you guys should check out. Cause it's really funny. And Jay is super, I don't know, I'm gonna call him underrated. Just funny. Like super funny dude. He rolls with everything. He's also one of these guys who knows every reference you make every single time, which is rare. And it's something that more comedians should possess. But they don't. Like, they just, there's a lot of comedians. Like, I don't, I don't know that. I don't know that song. I don't know the reference. I don't know that TV show. But he knows and gets everything. But I'm supposed to get here in the morning and there's a giant semi truck that is literally blocking the driveway, just split right in the middle of the street, just parked. It's a semi truck. It's an 18 wheeler, but it's a flat bed. Doesn't have a box on the back. It's just flat and it's facing behind me. So it's basically going toward the freeway to the back street. There's a back street there. And there's no way to get into my parking lot for not only me, but Jay Moore and others that are starting. And these guys with a forklift are unloading stuff that's on the back of the truck.

[Alicia Krauss]

Oh. So they don't have any plans of leaving anytime soon now.

[Adam Carolla]

And there's not much on the back of the truck.

[Jonathan Kite]

What are they unloading? Pillows.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like pillows, feathers, slippers. Mylar balloons filled with helium. Down products. Down. Sleeping bags and jacks, Just lighter stuff. They're doing some kind of equipment that's going into the rented place across the street. Basically one over and across the street. I don't know, equipment. They're opening someplace over there. So I come in and they got no intention of going anywhere, you know?

[Jonathan Kite]

And so they're like, can you help?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you got a forklift? Now? I have done.

[Alicia Krauss]

No, they're probably union. It's not allowed.

[Adam Carolla]

I've done a lot of unloading cars and 18 wheelers with car carriers and stuff. And it's pretty easy protocol. You pull to this back street, the back street is empty because it runs along the freeway. And you pull up there and then you can unload the car or unload the equipment. You can do whatever you want once you're over there, Right. Because you're not blocking anyone. So I'm behind the guy and he's not going anywhere. And he's just outside the truck. And I give the go, pull it up. Let's pull up. Now they have a forklift. So what they're gonna have to do is pull it up 100ft, park it, and then get the forklift and just drive it, make a few trips, right? It's about 80ft or the forklift. But right now they like the forklift just unloading it right there and just going 20ft.

[Alicia Krauss]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is. I get. It's more convenient for them, but other people work on the street and own properties and you're blocking everybody. So I go pull it ahead. And then he does the go round, like, go around. And I'm like, well, how's that work? And he goes, go round. And then I'll back up. And I'm like, shouldn't you be pulling forward and letting me into my own fucking driveway? Isn't that what. Shouldn't you be like, my bad. Let me just pull it forward. Now he's right in the middle of the driveway, it is about 60, 40. He would have to pull forward 20ft. And then I would go into my driveway. But he's telling me, go around.

[Alicia Krauss]

And then he'll back up.

[Adam Carolla]

He'll back up. Instead of going forward 20ft, he'll back up 10ft and I can get to my driveway. So just the notion of me going, I work here. And you go and go around. It's already kind of a weird one. Especially when your truck is facing the direction that you could just pull up, right? And then I say to him, you're parked in the park over there. Pull up and park by the side of the freeway. It's wide open by the side. Just park there.

[Alicia Krauss]

You're using too much common sense and expecting other people to have, like, basic consideration.

[Adam Carolla]

Basic consideration. And he looks at me, I go, just pull up and park next to the freeway. And he goes, there's no parking there.

[Jonathan Kite]

And I go, there's no parking here.

[Adam Carolla]

You're in the middle of the street, you think there's parking here. You're blocking four driveways, unloading your shit. Pull ahead. It's like, go around. And I'm like, okay, fine, Jay. We're starting. Fuck it. I go around. Here's the part. This is the part that really is the cherry on top of the shit entitled Sunday. For me, the go around is, you know, go that way, 30ft, go that way, 100ft, turn down that street and come around. The go round process is about 60 seconds, right? So I'm just going to go around and be right there.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

When I go around and come back around, he's still standing outside his truck having a conversation with somebody. And I like, honk on the horn, like, get in your fucking. I thought the truck would be pulled out when I came around. You could see too much of it now. I had to alert him. It surprised him. He's like, go around. And then completely forgot about me.

[Jonathan Kite]

He was hoping you were gonna find parking.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Alicia Krauss]

What, on the no parking street?

[Jonathan Kite]

See, I didn't even have to move.

[Adam Carolla]

He wasn't even in his truck when I came around. He was outside of his truck talking to someone. Mid truck?

[Jonathan Kite]

No, the truck protocol. We're just parking in the middle. It's like delivery vehicles now everywhere. It's like we're part of the problem. Cause we're ordering Amazon and everything like that. But then there's nowhere for them to park, right? And so, yeah, in my neighborhood, they're just. It's done. They just clog up the entire thing. Even if they have to make deliveries for the neighborhood, you just.

[Adam Carolla]

And I guess their thing is sort of fuck it, you know, Cry me a river, rich white guy. But also, I got shit to do. And I don't really care if I hurt your feelings. It's not like we're hanging out.

[Jonathan Kite]

I like, though, that he assumed he looked at you was like, rich white guy. Yeah, that must have felt nice. Well, did he call you that?

[Adam Carolla]

I would have preferred that, but I think he was probably doing. Maybe he was doing the warehouse math. I don't know. But I do. I am sort of strangely. It's. Let me. I'll give you an example. The people were like, he's blocking my driveway. So I'm like, pull up and he pushes it back onto me. No, you go around that way and then we'll see if we can get me in the truck. It's the people who are, like, watching TV with their feet up on the coffee table of life. And you're pushing the vacuum past them and you go, hey, could you move your legs? I'm vacuuming. And they go, okay, what else do you need, Highness? And it's like, really? I'm doing this thing and I know you're put off, but you shouldn't be put off. You should be sorry and help me vacuum.

[Jonathan Kite]

But they're just visiting this truck.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that is true here. That is true.

[Jonathan Kite]

I don't like when someone's visiting and becomes the mayor for the day.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes.

[Jonathan Kite]

And it's sort of like I'm going to. I'm going to be the crossing guard of the street.

[Alicia Krauss]

But do you feel like they have some. They feel justified in that or they don't give a. You know what. Because they are coming and going.

[Jonathan Kite]

I think that they think what they're doing is more important than you finding a parking spot.

[Alicia Krauss]

But they also can get away with it because it isn't their neighborhood. So they're like, I'm not going to be back here again, so.

[Jonathan Kite]

And also, no one's going to move the truck but them.

[Adam Carolla]

They gave the speech the Texas City Council in Vegas gave to Robert De Niro in Casino when he was like, in his office. He's like, you all. You don't get it. Yeah, you're just guests.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

You're just guests here. Okay? You're not from here. You're guests here. And we can change that. That was like this great speech where they fired his fucked up son, Billy Bop whoever, from doing the slot machines or whatever. That was a Great. That was a great thing.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's the way the world works.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All right, so here's an interesting hypothetical as I was thinking about it today for you two and all of us to drill down onto. I sit around and I think about eras and good and bad eras, and I guess what it reminded me of is when I was in high school in Los Angeles in the early 80s, I was the captain of the football team, but. And then so people go, oh, you must add all the girls. And I go, no, I got none of the girls. And they go, but captain of the football team. And I think that's 1957, and that's in Texas or wherever, but this is Los Angeles. And the girls want the punk rock guy because it's 1982. They want this angry dude. The guy's wearing eyeliner, the goth guy, you know, they want the fourth Ramone. They don't want the captain of the football team. And I started thinking it's really luck of the draw, era wise, because if I was the captain of the football team in the 50s, then I get the head cheerleader, but not in the 80s and not in Los Angeles.

[Alicia Krauss]

I think geography has something to do with it, too. Being from the Bible Belt, it's like baseball, basketball, football, any captain. All the girls wanted to be a cheerleader and date that guy.

[Jonathan Kite]

How was the football team? How were you guys? What was your life?

[Adam Carolla]

We sucked.

[Jonathan Kite]

Oh, there you go. It was more the record.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it was an era. And I also realized, yeah, you were captain of the football team in the 50s. And then we got to, like, late 60s, Jane Fonda, Vietnam, four dead in Ohio and stuff. And all of a sudden, it wasn't cool to be the jock. It was cool to be the hippie dude. And there was. There's just eras. They weren't in the 50s. They weren't really competing with anything. And then at some point, they took a turn in the late 60s, early 70s, and it got like. It got grungy. Like, let's say early 90s. We went from pretty boy with popped collars, yuppie, to kind of preppy to grungy. And all of a sudden, the grunge guys are having their day, you know, so it's kind of a. It's not all about the. It's that way with everything. Like, it's that way with, like, architecture. And, you know, if you had a beautiful craftsman style house, like a Pasadena craftsman style house from 1914, but it was 1975, we'd be putting burnt orange linoleum in the kitchen and avocado colored appliances and spraying acoustic shit on the ceiling. But now would be cool.

[Jonathan Kite]

I didn't know where you were going with this. Cause I thought you were gonna come up.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm not there yet.

[Jonathan Kite]

Well, the era. But the architects were getting the ladies.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm just saying a lot of it is not about who you are or it's sort of where you are at the time and the era. And then I thought to myself. So somebody tweeted me and they were like, oh yeah, in the early 70s, we just took off and drank out of the hose. And you know our parents, nobody wanted you in the house. You know, it was my young era was like, take it outside. Everything was. You could have been doing your homework at night quietly. And they would have been take it outside. Everything was take it out. You know, just get out of here.

[Jonathan Kite]

I lived outside for the first 20 years of my life.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, me too.

[Jonathan Kite]

I was like, mowgli.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. And it's like no money, no food, no water, nothing. Parents don't care. Just go. Get out.

[Jonathan Kite]

By the way, kidnappers everywhere.

[Adam Carolla]

Unmarked vans, primered.

[Jonathan Kite]

They were still putting us on milk cartons back then.

[Adam Carolla]

Not only did my parents not care, but every one of my friends parents hated me too. Mr. Vendig, that guy scared me. Roberta Messick scared. They're all scary that if you. If they walked in and you were in their kitchen with your head like in the pantry, they'd start yelling at you, put that back. You know, like they wouldn't even feed you.

[Jonathan Kite]

They were mean parent, like a convenience store owner who thinks that you're doing the five finger discounts.

[Adam Carolla]

Get out of your kids. Get out.

[Jonathan Kite]

Like I'll call the police. When you left their house, they had the tape measure to see how tall you were. So front door.

[Adam Carolla]

David Vendick's dad's house had the measure, had the 7 11.

[Jonathan Kite]

They had those mirrors.

[Adam Carolla]

Convex.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So not only did like my own parents, you know, they were sort of agnostic on their kids. But my friend's parents, they weren't fans either. And they certainly weren't cool. And they weren't friendly and they weren't doing like, you know, my kids, I had to be friends with their friends and cool with their friends and lots of stuff. You know, you took them out, you bought them dinner too. And you'd come home, they'd just be eating on the fucking sofa. McDonald's and like if you went like, hey, guys, go to the table, they'd Be like, dad. Like, there's no way we would have tried it. My daughter. I walked in. I walked in my entry aisle. A friend roller skated past me inside my house, inside my house, and did, like, a high five. Like, hey, Mr. C. You know, just right by.

[Jonathan Kite]

Was she working for a malt shop at the time?

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. She had a tray with a knee high on it.

[Jonathan Kite]

She got. I'm in the weeds. She's a girl. Give me a second.

[Adam Carolla]

So I was thinking about it, and I thought, well, when is a good time? Like, what. What would have been a good era? And I was also thinking about, again, the ebbs and the flows of the eras, like heavyweights, American heavyweights. You know, you had the whole Ali and Frazier and Foreman and epic battles, epic battles. And then all of a sudden, there were no names. You've never heard of the Ronaldo Snipes Heavyweight. You know, battling. Who cares? Like, what happened to the. Well, there's an era, and they're not all salad days. Some are better, and then there's, like, little dips. American cars. American cars are great now. Are great now. You would not want to buy an American car in 1974, but you buy one now, it's a good era. And you can kind of chart, like, everything. Like, it's not all just up and better. It's like there's a good time or.

[Alicia Krauss]

Sometimes when some of the things are good, like the car era, then other things, not so good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, not everything's good at the same time. It's good to have an American car in 1955, bad to have one in 1975, good in 2025.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah. It's what's on trend. It's like, even standup, you think about the booms that happen in standup.

[Alicia Krauss]

True.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Alicia Krauss]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So now I pose the question. Best time to be a junior in high school. Cause you can go, well, it's all good now. Except for it's not because half the kids are transitioning to the other sex. There's lots.

[Alicia Krauss]

First off, you know, there's academic pressure on these kids, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Some of them. I mean, I didn't know when I was a kid, when I was in high school.

[Jonathan Kite]

Not Lori Lachlan's kid.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, she can row.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's what I mean.

[Adam Carolla]

If you said to me when I was in high school, name one terrorist organization, I'd be like, oh, oh, man. Name one Middle Eastern. Whatever. Boko Rama. I didn't know.

[Jonathan Kite]

One thing I didn't know, whoever John McClane fought in died yeah, right.

[Adam Carolla]

That's. I don't know, weird accent guy. I don't know.

[Jonathan Kite]

What Skeletor.

[Adam Carolla]

I think nice, nicely dressed guy with a weird accent.

[Jonathan Kite]

Gargamel.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And then it's like, I didn't know. And if you'd said like one country in the Middle East, I'd just be like, is Egypt in the. Is that in the Middle East? Because if it is, I'm going with Egypt. Like, I don't know, all the different territories and ethnic cleansing going on. There wasn't nothing but drug commercials. When I turned on the tv. It's now all the. Everyone's on the spectrum. Everyone's got add, everyone's got this with a dusting of that. You need some more of this. I don't know if this is a good time right now. Also, as a dude, you like the chick. You want to go ask her on a date? Are you going to get me to have to ask for permission to hold her hand? Like, we're in a weird era to be a kid now. Dudes are like just hanging back. Like, I'm not going out on a date. I'm just going to look at porn at home and take edibles and watch, play video games. I can't. I don't even know how to look a girl in the eye anymore.

[Alicia Krauss]

I feel like social media makes it worse too. Social media puts this pressure on, like how you're supposed to do things or if you do the wrong thing then.

[Jonathan Kite]

Or to have those experiences. Like everybody's trying to outdo everybody else's life.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Jonathan Kite]

So you have a produced reality.

[Alicia Krauss]

But adults do that. Like adults our age do that. They're always trying to like one up the. The next person. Imagine being a 15 year old with an iPhone and Instagram and that's all you've known.

[Jonathan Kite]

You didn't even know a time before this. So maybe like we're in an adjustment period, I think, with the technology.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Alicia Krauss]

I pray so. I pray so for my kids. I'm the mean mom that won't let them have a cell phone, but yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So where do we go? All right, so then the question is mid-90s. Yeah, that's a good, you know, to be a junior in high school. Mid or 90s feels. Feels pretty good.

[Jonathan Kite]

I graduated late 90s.

[Alicia Krauss]

There you go.

[Adam Carolla]

We had a little.

[Jonathan Kite]

It was awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

Had enough technology stuff, worked well enough. We had color TVs and air conditioning. We didn't have all the real social pressures and no one was struggling with their sexuality and all that shit.

[Alicia Krauss]

The Only sex that was talked about was the blue dress and Bill Clinton.

[Jonathan Kite]

Or the show kids or that movie Kids with Larry Clark that came in in 95.

[Adam Carolla]

So you think when you graduate, what high school did you graduate from?

[Jonathan Kite]

Niles North. Home of the Vikings.

[Adam Carolla]

Home of the Vikings. Niles North.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yes, sir.

[Adam Carolla]

Where's Niles North?

[Jonathan Kite]

It's in Skokie, Illinois, right outside of Chicago, by Evanston, where Northwestern University is.

[Adam Carolla]

Was it a big school?

[Jonathan Kite]

It was pretty big, yeah. We had a huge, pretty big graduating class. We graduated at the Northwestern University's basketball. It was pretty big.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, were you popular? Kid, Weird kid. I could make an argument for both.

[Jonathan Kite]

I think I was gonna say yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, Both.

[Jonathan Kite]

I mean. Yeah. Ask the student body. Yeah, I mean, I had. I think that I sort of jumped from circle to circle. I had friends pretty much everywhere. I loved high school. I had a blast.

[Adam Carolla]

You could do the voices, right?

[Jonathan Kite]

I did. I actually would. I didn't do famous people or like celebrities back then. I would do. I had a teacher in particular who was. Whenever he was sick, we would try to convince the substitute to let me teach the class as him. And I used to do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, see, that's instant popularity.

[Jonathan Kite]

It was fun. It was fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. See, you know, humor's good, but like weird, thought provoking era kid talk like this didn't really go over well with 15 year olds, you know. But voices would, voices would work.

[Jonathan Kite]

You could get it. I mean, it was instant sort of, wow, that's what that teacher sounds like.

[Alicia Krauss]

And it's so interesting too because it's in their own little circle of their own little world.

[Jonathan Kite]

For sure.

[Alicia Krauss]

Even if you could have done celebrities, I think sometimes like what makes things funny is your connection to it.

[Jonathan Kite]

It's a shared. Of course, you're absolutely right.

[Alicia Krauss]

It's that shared experience of what is funny. So you making fun of the teacher. He's not there, but everybody knows what he sounds like.

[Jonathan Kite]

And he was like a teacher out of a Roald Dahl book. Like he was one of those guys who was very tough. You know, he used to write, you know, we had to write a one time Farewell to Arms, the Hemingway. We had to write a satire of it, like, which is very hard because it's like either you can write satirically or you can't. So then he would. I remember on a lot of the grades he would give people, he was just like, not funny.

[Adam Carolla]

F. Right.

[Jonathan Kite]

So like that was the type of guy he was. He was. It wasn't a pass fail class. It was just that you either got an A with him or he was like mildly amused, laughing a few times. B plus.

[Adam Carolla]

What did he sound like?

[Jonathan Kite]

He had very big jowls and he sort of. He had no expression on his face. And I remember he. I remember this woman, Barbara. He had us. We weren't paying attention one day in class and we were sort of fucking around and he. At the end of it, he just said, the bell rang and he stopped us and he said, tonight write a two page essay on if a river could talk, what would it say? And we thought, why? And then he was like, it's due tomorrow, right? So we go through the whole class. We had to hand it at the beginning. And then he finished the class and then he said, before you go, I'd like to read one of the. One of your. One of the papers. And he pulled out a random paper and it was the most laughably embarrassing BS paper you've ever heard in life. And he crumpled it up and threw it on the ground. And the bell rang and then he just looked out. He said, as you leave, someone tell Barbara to pick that trash up off the ground.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Wow.

[Jonathan Kite]

We knew that's exactly who he was. And everyone was like, if we could have all taken out mics and just dropped them. It was that type of thing. He was that guy.

[Adam Carolla]

It was an era where you could. It was the end of the weirdo, semi abusive teacher.

[Jonathan Kite]

Oh, we had a gym. We had those that really pushed.

[Adam Carolla]

Couldn't do it any.

[Jonathan Kite]

No, no, no, no, no. Not the teachers we had.

[Adam Carolla]

I remember going to my daughter's like third grade, maybe it was second grade or something. And her 26 year old teacher wearing the gogo boots and like the shirt, short skirt and everything. And she had her casual Friday, she had her Starbucks big dome foam frappuccino thing on the thing and it just had her name because she went to Starbucks like Sarah, you know. And I remember just going in, I walked up to the desk, I was like, you may want to turn that thing back. So people, they all call me by my first name.

[Alicia Krauss]

And I was like, your mind was just blown.

[Adam Carolla]

She's like, if I found out the fucking first name of one of my teachers, my fucking head would explode. I know. And if I ever called them that, you'd get fucking backhanded or something. But yeah, all right, well, let's do weird. We had. I've seen. I've seen teachers fighting kids like Mr. Hensley over Walter Reed Junior High, like ex Marine. Like, remember when a crew cut was a crew cut like it's 1979 and he's got a fucking crew cut. And that is weird because. Because everyone else has long hair. And Hensley tells Mike Reese. I think it was Mike Reese. He told one of these kids. He goes, the guy throws a milk carton, tries to throw it in a trash can. But the trash can sitting outside of the pavilion, and it's pouring rain, and the trash can sitting in a puddle, and there's mud there where the baseball diamond is. Mike Reicheck tries to shoot it in and misses. And he's like. And Mr. Hensley's like, Mike Reese, pick that up. And Reese kind of like looks out to the pouring, driving rain and the thing floating in the puddle, you know, next to it. And he kind of just looks at Hensley. He goes, yeah, come on, it's pouring out. And he looks back. Next thing you know, Hensley has him in a headlock.

[Alicia Krauss]

Stop.

[Adam Carolla]

Physically. Physically in a headlock.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Physically attacked him over a milk carton. Sound like Mike Reese got beat up on drugs and took a swing at one of the girls or something. No, this is a milk carton situation. It just. He defied him. Like, he went, go get it. And he went, I'll get it later when it stops raining. And next, you know, headlock.

[Jonathan Kite]

I had a guy, my favorite gym teacher, this Mr. Sokolsky, and one of those older guys, not like Jack LaLanne, that old. I mean, obviously Jack was young at one point, but you know, this guy who just had calves like Popeye's arms, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that guy, scary.

[Jonathan Kite]

Could jump, you know, higher than a cat. And he had the really high socks, the gray New Balances, and this is the 90s. He had the real short shorts that, by the way, that the seams of the opening in the legs were going, Help.

[Adam Carolla]

Were they the double snap bike shorts?

[Jonathan Kite]

They weren't that. They were. It was, you know, like a material that baseball leggings are made out of. So there's like a thicker. But it's clearly rayon. Yeah, it doesn't, by the way, doesn't breathe is their slogan.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jonathan Kite]

And then he would have on a polo shirt, white, unbuttoned, with a whistle. I mean, again, jacked guy, slicked back, Michael Douglas Wall street hair, gray glasses, always got that smile. And I remember we had a lot of Eastern European kids where I grew up, and I remember they were defying him to do the mile, and one of them was, like, speaking Russian. And this guy, Sokolsky, he talked like you. He just talked like Us. He was like, you know, you're gonna do the mile, you're gonna do whatever. And then this guy started probably badmouthing him in Russian to his buddy. And then Sokolsky just walked right up to him and just started speaking fluent Russian this close to his face. And he just smiled and he goes, yeah, run. I mean, yeah. It was like a, like a sleeper cell. Buddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

I was like, where's that guy from?

[Adam Carolla]

I love, I love.

[Jonathan Kite]

I just said my favorite.

[Adam Carolla]

Every one of our gym teachers was mean as shit and hated, hated kids. This is at junior high. Junior high. The shop teachers hated kids and the gym teachers hated kids. With the exception of one kid, I should say one gym teacher, Mr. Nelson, who is Ricky Nelson's cousin.

[Jonathan Kite]

No kidding.

[Adam Carolla]

Who looked exactly like Ricky Nelson in. And every fucking 13 year old girl was in love with Mr. Nelson. Cause he was hot. He looked like 27 year old Ricky Nelson. You're here. Any mean teachers? Weird teachers.

[Alicia Krauss]

I thought that like the mean teachers was like a Hollywood thing because I was homeschooled all 12 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's right.

[Jonathan Kite]

So the mean teachers were your parents?

[Alicia Krauss]

And my mom and dad.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. We had. Mr. Walters was mean as shit. Mr. Sapanzi was mean as shit. We had. Mr. Walters had a donkey squad where it's like if you got minus points for not lining up straight, you know, for PE Donkey squad, he literally went by the volleyball courts and arranged four benches into the shape of a square. And that was called the corral, wasn't.

[Jonathan Kite]

It in your cartoon? Yes, I remember.

[Adam Carolla]

And you had to go to the donkey squad.

[Alicia Krauss]

Did they ever send girls there?

[Adam Carolla]

No, he only did the boys PE and nobody else had thought of the donkey squad, but he pioneered the donkey squad. And there was nobody to tell him. You can't really do that.

[Jonathan Kite]

You can't really corral children.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't call them donkeys and yell back to the corral.

[Jonathan Kite]

They're in internment camps.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, seriously. He would have done it. And there was no administrator. Whatever was like, Look, Mr. Walters, you can't have your own squad of losers that you verbally abuse and then forced to sit a pen. Yeah, no, you had to go sit there and watch everyone else play softball. Dying to play. But you were in the donkey. You got in the donkey squad.

[Alicia Krauss]

That teacher would be sued so fast.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I know.

[Alicia Krauss]

Like, although he would probably trend on TikTok.

[Adam Carolla]

We had Mrs. Wolk, who was like, every once in a while you had the old teacher, Mr. Spaeth old, you know, novelty old. Like 70ish old. It was weird to have the old teacher. But then you'd have Mrs. Wolk who was 35, but seemed like she was 75. Like wore the weird shoes and had her hair in a bun and like weird school teacher look, but not. But really she was 33.

[Jonathan Kite]

As I look back on it, everybody was 33. Yeah, they, they all. We had Ms. Coochmanas real name and the cooch and she was like, you know, in a, in a movie about junior high where you pass down that, like, oh my God. My father had the cuchamanas.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Right.

[Jonathan Kite]

She was built with the school.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jonathan Kite]

She came with the land that it was built on. She had a beehive hair. This is the 90s, mind you. She had a beehive. This woman is straight out of the 1940s. She had the cat glasses. Yes, but she was, I mean now looking back at it, she probably was like 60 years old. But even if she was 20, we would have thought she was 90.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

It is weird how you think that as a kid, like things just, People just seem so much older.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

Like my 11 year old has a 25 year old music teacher at their little Catholic school. And she was like, what? She's not that old. But she seems so old. And I'm like, does she really? See, I think it's the level of authority that they're given that if you're like a middle schooler, you just assume that they're old. Maybe.

[Jonathan Kite]

Well, there's no, there's, there's a big gap. Right. You're at, you're young and then you're old. Because they only know people that are like them. And then everybody else is ancient.

[Alicia Krauss]

That's true. Like parent age, which is ancient.

[Jonathan Kite]

Everybody.

[Alicia Krauss]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dawson]

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[Jonathan Kite]

Most people would rather assemble a 300 piece cabinet than and search for insurance. That's why the zebra search is for you. Comparing over 100 insurance companies to find savings no one else can compare. Today@the zebra.com.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Jonathan Kite]

Yes, sir.

[Adam Carolla]

And Jay does some real funny impressions.

[Jonathan Kite]

He's great. I just did his podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. And he said, he goes. I go, well, Jonathan Kite's coming. He goes, oh, that guy's Tom Hanks. So good. And I was like, yeah, I think I know him. And he specially underlined Tom Hanks.

[Jonathan Kite]

Oh, Tom Hanks is. Hi, hi, hi there, Adam. Oh, I couldn't be happier to be here that I am right here. This is an absolute pleasure.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he has a little thing that I don't know if it's regional or.

[Jonathan Kite]

That he's from Northern California.

[Alicia Krauss]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he is.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah. And there is. You know what? It's funny about him because he's Been around so long. Talk about a guy who's like, you know, I mean, literally, he. Every era is different era, and so I probably do him. My favorite is him around the burbs. Do you ever see the burbs? It's one of my favorite. If that movie came out today, it was a bit of a sleeper, kind of a. It dud. Dud. In terms of making money. I saw in the theaters. One of my favorite. But just that neighbor who's always. Who's so high strung, who's just like, take me to the hospital.

[Adam Carolla]

Take me to the hospital. Yeah, yeah, it's true. He's got eras. Like, Al pacino had eras.

[Jonathan Kite]

100%. And, you know, they always say, well, you know, I feel like impressionists. We talk about that. You either die the hero or you live long enough to become the villain. Because most people become a caricature of themselves. Like, you know, Jay and I were talking about Walk in. I just rewatched Christopher. Brian. No, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, walk in. Walk in sounds like a place you could go or something.

[Jonathan Kite]

The restaurant.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

Chris, walk ins.

[Adam Carolla]

Welcome.

[Jonathan Kite]

Walk in. Clinic.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, clinic, Right.

[Jonathan Kite]

I'm a doctor that he. But he, you know, he was like, I watched Dead Zone the other day. It's one of my favorite films. He's 40 years old. Looks 15, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jonathan Kite]

I mean, whatever. Like, you know, snail white, Korean, you know, plastic surgery he had done in the seventies. But it's very. He's light. He's sort of like this. You know, he's a very. And then as they get older, they hear people do impressions of them. So then Pacino, like you said, it's like Jack Nicholson, De Niro. And they sort of become. Cause, you know, Al Pacino when he was younger, very high voice.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Oh, right.

[Jonathan Kite]

Al Pacino. When you walk him back, he goes, we're gonna go do this. I'm telling you. Right here. We got this. But then as he got older, he sort of came like, hey, I'm smoking 50 packs every day. You know, and then it's same with Tom Hanks. When Tom Hanks was younger, he sort of, you know, if you hear him, Steven, you know, he just did a. I'm watching him on Colbert and he has it. It's still round, but it's not the way he used to be.

[Alicia Krauss]

I'm just hearing Woody because I've been rewatching Toy Story with my children.

[Jonathan Kite]

Buzz, you're not a space Ranger. You are a toy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that was Pixar, man. When they're at the height of their powers.

[Alicia Krauss]

So good.

[Jonathan Kite]

It's like the Roman Empire.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's like the stories were so well crafted. Forget about any animation, anything. It's the stories and the arcs, the music even.

[Jonathan Kite]

But what you feel for fake things.

[Adam Carolla]

The heart. The heart. The comedy.

[Jonathan Kite]

The incredibles.

[Adam Carolla]

Incredible.

[Alicia Krauss]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Andrew. Now makes me think about Al Pacino and Cruising. Cause I had Jay Moore do Al Pacino and Cruising in the.

[Jonathan Kite]

Now I am gonna suck that guy's dick.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. See, Alicia, you don't know what this is. They didn't show this in homeschool.

[Jonathan Kite]

No, my buddy played his boyfriend.

[Alicia Krauss]

It was an adventure in the movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Al Pacino made the weirdest movie ever after doing hits.

[Jonathan Kite]

He had hits. And then he made that one.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And you can say movies were flops or duds or I didn't get it. Or. Well, it wasn't very good. But not too many of them are just kind of weird.

[Alicia Krauss]

Like, so he did, like, a really weird gay movie.

[Adam Carolla]

He did a.

[Jonathan Kite]

He was an undercover cop.

[Alicia Krauss]

Oh, yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

And then there's a guy who's killing gay men, and so he goes undercover through the back door. How is that not the slogan? Yeah, I am going undercover through the back door.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. And it was.

[Alicia Krauss]

So he's trying to catch, like, a.

[Jonathan Kite]

A murderer.

[Alicia Krauss]

A homophobic serial killer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Or a gay serial killer who was.

[Jonathan Kite]

Only targeting gay men.

[Adam Carolla]

Gay. Yeah. He was roaming the clubs.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And of course, like, ex lovers. It was.

[Jonathan Kite]

Well, we don't want to spoil.

[Adam Carolla]

First off, I don't have to explain what a serial killer does. They just kill for sport, number one.

[Jonathan Kite]

But.

[Alicia Krauss]

And they are usually white dudes.

[Adam Carolla]

And most of them would prey on, you know, nursing students or co eds. His was gay bar. And I have to watch this movie.

[Jonathan Kite]

Again, by the way, I'm dressed as.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, wearing his wife's face.

[Jonathan Kite]

I left it in the car. Okay.

[Alicia Krauss]

You got the watch, though.

[Jonathan Kite]

I left it in a glory hole.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. I was. So you watch this now. I need to watch it again. But it's, like the weirdest theme. But also, you know what it was based on. In the late 70s, every single one of those cop shows or detective shows in the 70s, they had a theme. And I think this is where this movie came from, because they would go like, on Dan Tanna. You know, they go. This week on Vegas. In order to catch an international jewel thief, Dan's gonna have to become an international jewel. I don't know why you had to become. How about you just become a cop.

[Jonathan Kite]

And bust the international Jewel, that doesn't happen in life.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. But it was. There's an international ring of counterfeiters. And in order to catch up, Dan's gonna have to become one. And everything was going to have to become. And for some reason, if there's a gay serial killer, you gotta become gay. How else are you gonna catch him? And I would argue by just being cops and catching a serial killer. But he would have to infiltrate. You know what I mean?

[Alicia Krauss]

So, like, miscongeniality.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's. By the way. It's the same thing.

[Adam Carolla]

It's all. That's the same thing.

[Jonathan Kite]

It's the same thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Every Brian Bosworth movie, there's a biker gang, and he's got to join those bikers. And at some point, they always run into that pivotal scene because the lead guy's a little suspicious of Bosworth's character. I'm not sure if he's one of us, and the ladies all love him, so that doesn't help. But at some point, they give the gun to him and they go, we caught this Fed. Now let's smoke him. And they give the gun to Bosworth. Bosworth realized if he doesn't smoke him, he's going to be made. But he can't smoke him because. And they do this thing. And he'd go, I'd like to roast this pig right now. But it's going to be worth more to us alive because we can use him if we try to get across the border. And like that. The head guy goes, okay, you know, that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Jonathan Kite]

Well, cruising. He's like, you better. You got to suck this guy's dick. And then. And then Pacino's like, oh, if I don't suck this guy's dick, I'm outed.

[Adam Carolla]

In the wrong way. Say hips or lips. Because that's the best way.

[Jonathan Kite]

Hips or lips.

[Adam Carolla]

And so. But the part that was. All right, I'll play the hips. The part about the movie that's crazy is Pacino kind of becomes gay. But that's the weird part. Like. Like, if I'm reading the script, I'd.

[Jonathan Kite]

Be like, all right, how funny is that? The captain's like, you don't have to become gay. And he goes, I gotta do this. It's like, I've gotta go undercover.

[Adam Carolla]

And he has a girlfriend, Karen Allen's girlfriend. And why does he have to go gay? Like, here's what I'm saying. They use police.

[Jonathan Kite]

We're putting you on the exotic birds case. He goes, I gotta do the gay one.

[Adam Carolla]

They have police women.

[Alicia Krauss]

Can you become an exotic bird to find me?

[Adam Carolla]

Flap.

[Jonathan Kite]

Flap. He's the best.

[Adam Carolla]

You have. Police women dress up as prostitutes, but they don't become prostitutes. They just dress like prostitutes. That's kind of.

[Jonathan Kite]

It's a costume.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a costume. Brian Bosworth wasn't in the Hell's Angels. He was infiltrating. But at some point, the lines get blown.

[Jonathan Kite]

They suddenly go, you didn't have to sleep with those men.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Jonathan Kite]

I couldn't tell if the dicks were wearing a wire.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's hips or lips. By the way, how big are you?

[Jonathan Kite]

Party size.

[Adam Carolla]

What are you into?

[Jonathan Kite]

I go anywhere.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't do anything. That's cool.

[Jonathan Kite]

Hips or lips.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, by the way, it's gotta be lips if you don't do anything. Right?

[Jonathan Kite]

But it just rhymes.

[Alicia Krauss]

Who wrote the.

[Adam Carolla]

That guy's not a great. It's not a great. Whoever wrote it died of AIDS four years later. But it's not a great sales pitch for fucking at the park where you just go, I don't do anything.

[Jonathan Kite]

By the way, these are two guys who aren't gay. They're just reading the line like. He's like, hips or lips? What do you do? Nothing. This is the coldest read I've ever seen in my life.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, how big's your dick? Party size.

[Jonathan Kite]

Party size.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if that's a great description of a nice dick.

[Jonathan Kite]

And by the way, if you.

[Adam Carolla]

If it.

[Jonathan Kite]

If. If this was a bigger hit, that would have caught on.

[Adam Carolla]

Party size.

[Jonathan Kite]

You know what I mean? It's like, for McDonald's, you want small, medium, large. Party size. What are you doing here?

[Alicia Krauss]

But it's like. It's like the. Oh, shoot.

[Adam Carolla]

What's the candy bar?

[Alicia Krauss]

No, the. The lady with the voice. And she's in the radio. And they are all the gangs in New York.

[Jonathan Kite]

Oh, the Warriors.

[Alicia Krauss]

The Warriors.

[Jonathan Kite]

One of the best movies of all time.

[Alicia Krauss]

Right? But it's kind of a sleeper movie, right? And there's some like, can you dig it?

[Adam Carolla]

But that is.

[Jonathan Kite]

I feel like that is an iconic film.

[Alicia Krauss]

It is an iconic film that even came home. Colorado.

[Adam Carolla]

This wasn't. This never became anything.

[Jonathan Kite]

But even gay people are like, oh, that's not us.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to examine the term party size.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Party size. When I grew up, they didn't have the party size or the fun size.

[Jonathan Kite]

Fun size.

[Adam Carolla]

Candy bars. Does party size mean big? Does party size mean fun?

[Alicia Krauss]

Party size is small. It's like what you get at Halloween.

[Jonathan Kite]

Why did he say, I'm a fan?

[Adam Carolla]

But this is. This is 45 years ago.

[Jonathan Kite]

He should have said, I'm full. Almond Joy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

Nuts out.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Jonathan Kite]

Party size.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm a payday.

[Jonathan Kite]

I'm a payday.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

I'm a hundred grand.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's a good one. I got a lot of nougat.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah, I'm a Snickers. I'll satisfy.

[Alicia Krauss]

I really hope my mom doesn't watch this episode.

[Jonathan Kite]

They couldn't get by the way. They were looking for a candy sponsorship. Like Reese's pieces was with E.T.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Jonathan Kite]

Cause, you know, they offered it to. And then the only alien that ever existed was Alien from the movie Alien. And they were like, we don't want our candy associated with an alien. And they're like, no, it's family friendly.

[Alicia Krauss]

Oh, such a mismarketing opportunity.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I hope.

[Jonathan Kite]

Break me off with a piece of that Kit Kat bar. You know what I'm saying?

[Adam Carolla]

I hope, Mrs. Krause, your mom, Mrs. Blankenship. That's great. Blankenship is not listening because we're gonna go to the bandana scene.

[Jonathan Kite]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And the bandana scene is mind numbing. And not only that, but look at.

[Alicia Krauss]

How young he is.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Powers Booth is the guy behind the counter at the Gay.

[Jonathan Kite]

So much.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, go ahead and play it, sir.

[Jonathan Kite]

It's a great scene.

[Adam Carolla]

Excuse me.

[Jonathan Kite]

Can I ask about these?

[Adam Carolla]

What about them?

[Jonathan Kite]

What are they for?

[Adam Carolla]

Light blue, Hank, in your left back pocket means you want a blow job. Right pocket means you give one, the green one. Left side says you're a hustler. Right side, you're a buyer. Yellow on the left side means you give gold in the shower. Right side, you receive the red one, please.

[Jonathan Kite]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

See anything you want?

[Jonathan Kite]

I'm gonna go home and think about it.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sure you'll make the right choice. The weirdest. It's the weirdest movie.

[Alicia Krauss]

I'm gonna go home and think about it ever.

[Adam Carolla]

But when. When Al Pacino's reading the script, like, the first 30 pages are like, all right, New York City, right? You play a cop. Good. Gotcha. I'm there. There's a gay bar, Times Square, in the 80s.

[Jonathan Kite]

Understandable.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, all right. Guys hanging out. Someone's killing the gay guys. All right, you're a cop, so you're gonna infiltrate them. Okay, you got a girlfriend. But you start going gay by page 47. And he's got to be like, why? He's like, why does my character have to Start going gay.

[Jonathan Kite]

Calls his agent. I just got the rewrites.

[Alicia Krauss]

Was this the OG Call me by your name.

[Jonathan Kite]

I mean, he. This is. Yes, this is the. For a guy like him who was coming off of Godfather 2. Godfather, you know, I mean, he had so many hits. And then to do this in 1980, this was just such a left turn. And I think that he was. He thought that it would be, you know, more culturally, like, wow, appreciated.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

And so.

[Alicia Krauss]

But this was before the Oscars went woke, so he didn't get a nomination for it.

[Jonathan Kite]

He goes.

[Adam Carolla]

He says, oh, yeah, now he would have walked home.

[Jonathan Kite]

He says. When Michael J. Fox says Back to the Future, he goes. You know, he's like, it's a bit too much for you, but your kids are gonna love it.

[Adam Carolla]

William Freaking and Friedkin directed this.

[Jonathan Kite]

It didn't hurt anybody's career.

[Adam Carolla]

It did the French Connection.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah, it did, but it didn't hurt anybody's career.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we'll do what we did with Jay Moore and up the bandana sales.

[Jonathan Kite]

I invested in bandana sales.

[Adam Carolla]

I am going to play Powers Booth, the proprietor of the bandana store, and you play Al Pacino. Coming in, inquiring about bandanas.

[Jonathan Kite]

All right, I'm here. Now we do. Excuse me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

What are these colored bandanas for?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, green means you're either a john or prostitute. Yellow, right pocket, that means you pee on people. Left pocket means you get pissed on the paisley one. I don't even know. I've been here for 11 years. I still haven't figured out what the paisley one means. Blue one, that involves a glass coffee table. White one means you give oral if it's in the right pockets. In the left pocket, it means you take oral. And if it's on your head, it means you're a Klansman.

[Jonathan Kite]

I'll take one of each.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, nobody takes one of each because that could.

[Jonathan Kite]

I'm feeling all the lips and hips I have got to get. I gotta find this murderer.

[Adam Carolla]

Look.

[Jonathan Kite]

And I'm gonna use all the holes to do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, Mike, my great grandfather Giuseppe set up this gay bandana store in 1931. And I've been here a long time, and no one has ever bought all of them.

[Jonathan Kite]

I'm going full bandana.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but see, that's confusing because now you got the gay prostitute coming up to you. You also have the john coming up to you. You also have one guy's peeing on you, you're peeing on another guy. It's Helter Skelter on your Rear end. You really need to pick a major. All right.

[Jonathan Kite]

What's the bandana that says. I'm a Think about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we have a powdered blue one.

[Jonathan Kite]

Which says, that seems the gayest of all.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know, but it's more. It's more code, like semi4. You ever been on an aircraft carrier.

[Jonathan Kite]

In the service year?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So, like, let's say you do a race. Green flag, start of the race, checkered flag, end of the race. See what I mean? Black flag, red flag, debris on the track. The flag. The color. What the color does is it conveys a message to the person in the car or on the deck or in the bathroom on the other end of the glory hole. You understand?

[Jonathan Kite]

All right, I'll take a blue one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we also sell mints and Chapstick.

[Jonathan Kite]

I'll take a mint.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they come in a pack. I don't sell them all.

[Jonathan Kite]

At Chapstick, you're losing money. You gotta have a Chapstick that's also a mitt. You put it here for your lips and your hips.

[Adam Carolla]

We got a winter green Chapstick.

[Jonathan Kite]

I bet that feels real good. Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And scene.

[Jonathan Kite]

That was the original.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the original script.

[Jonathan Kite]

That was the original script that he agreed to. And then when he changes it, he goes, what happened to my scene?

[Adam Carolla]

Also, Powers Booth was early in his career. His voice.

[Alicia Krauss]

His voice.

[Jonathan Kite]

He's a teacher who was 20 years old there, and he looks 70, right?

[Adam Carolla]

And powers Booth had to have, by the way, gayest name ever. Powers Booth.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's why he was cast.

[Adam Carolla]

He was like. He had to go home and brag to his friends. I'm starring in a movie with Al Pacino, and you guys are all gonna be there opening night. You know, I got a big scene with Al Pacino, and they're like, oh, my God, Powers. Struggling actors landed a role with Al Pacino. And then that scene.

[Jonathan Kite]

Then that's it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's it. Yeah. Have you ever even heard of that movie? Alicia Crouse?

[Alicia Krauss]

I'd never heard of it.

[Adam Carolla]

I figured you hadn't. It's just too young and homeschooled. It's too weird.

[Alicia Krauss]

Also, like, Bible belt, College dropout.

[Adam Carolla]

It wasn't playing at the drive in.

[Jonathan Kite]

I was gonna say, this was not at the sock opera.

[Alicia Krauss]

This is not. I'm gonna text all of my gay friends, though, and be like, have y' all seen this?

[Adam Carolla]

I just thought it was.

[Alicia Krauss]

Is it a gay cult classic?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think it's anything cult classic.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah. I don't think It's. I think it's a movie.

[Alicia Krauss]

It's something that you guys, like, watched when you were high and made fun of.

[Jonathan Kite]

I was watching a lot of Pacino stuff because I think there was a year there around probably like late 70s, early 80s, Rhett, Scarface. But there was a gap where I hadn't seen those movies. And so I was like, oh, what's this? And I remember you're looking at IMDb.

[Alicia Krauss]

And you're like, next Pacino movie.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's what it was. And then I was just like. I was like, took this girl on a date. I'm like, let's watch Cruisin' no, no. But it was just one of those things where I'm going, wait, when did this movie come out?

[Alicia Krauss]

It's one of those things too. I feel like I don't like to watch scary things. But if I start it, then I have to finish it, because then you have to know how it ends.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

And so it's like one of those. It's like so bad. But you have to know what's gonna happen. You can't walk away from it. Invested.

[Jonathan Kite]

I'm glad. I watch it for a few reasons. I worked with a director who wound up playing his cover boyfriend in it.

[Alicia Krauss]

Ooh.

[Jonathan Kite]

So this guy's a director, but he actor for a long time. And this guy, Don Scardino, great guy. And he's so young. And to have seen when he was like, oh, yeah, I used to act. And I would go, what were you in? He goes, you ever see Cruisin? And I went, whoa, whoa.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, whoa.

[Jonathan Kite]

It was crazy. I go, yes, you were the guy.

[Adam Carolla]

What else? Freaking. I mean, Andrew knows, but did he write this too? It's also a very weird thing, like, to be inspired to write. You know what I mean? Anyone who's written. I've written scripts. I've written a few comedies and full length stuff. And it's like you sort of tear pages from your own life and you go, oh, this would be funny. You have these feelings. Like you go, I wrote a script with Jimmy once and it was basically just going, mary Kay Letourneau, the woman who had sex with her young kid. Yeah, whatever.

[Alicia Krauss]

The teacher, the high school, right.

[Adam Carolla]

Then you go, I don't know why you're putting a picture up that we don't care about, but just get the names of the movies that he directed and wrote, please. But anyway, you sit there and you go, wow, that woman was married to a guy. And then what was that guy's life like? After this, everyone's talking about her and the kid. But that's a smaller town and people know who he is and there's a husband somewhere. And what would that life be like? And then what would the life be like if he also taught at that same school in their town? I'm like, okay, now we have a movie. That guy's life. But it's not. What if that guy was gay and being people were getting stabbed in a bathroom and he had to go gay. Dude, that's like a weird thought.

[Alicia Krauss]

You're like, what correlation did the writer have with this in real life, you mean? Or was it just.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just. It's a weird one to come.

[Jonathan Kite]

What's Studio greenlit this.

[Adam Carolla]

That's kind of like the whole thing. You got.

[Alicia Krauss]

Is it somebody's son?

[Adam Carolla]

You got an A list. Maybe Gerald Walker wrote it, but I would need to know other movies. Gerald Walker wrote Cruising.

[Jonathan Kite]

Two electric things of that nature.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like one movie. One movie.

[Jonathan Kite]

One movie. That's what that means.

[Alicia Krauss]

He didn't write one movie.

[Jonathan Kite]

No, no. He wrote Cruisin 2 in the pink.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, right. Right now.

[Jonathan Kite]

I mean, that is crazy. You know what was crazy about this was the Cruisin action figures.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I made the mistake of all the bundles have come to grip. Yeah. He wrote one movie and wow. And his one movie was a big Hollywood movie with Al Pacino and William Friedkin.

[Jonathan Kite]

You know what's funny? That.

[Adam Carolla]

Correct. And then nothing.

[Jonathan Kite]

The lighting on this don't adjust your eyes or the screen. That's how dark every scene is in the movie.

[Alicia Krauss]

I wasn't sure if it was just the quality of the computer.

[Jonathan Kite]

And by the way, it wasn't the time period like you look at other movies from the 80s. That movie is just shot.

[Adam Carolla]

Xanadu was in the theater at the multiplex next door.

[Jonathan Kite]

We're gonna see a double feature.

[Adam Carolla]

We're going to go Xanadu. Then we go Cruising.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's the order, Bill.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Never go Cruising.

[Jonathan Kite]

Never go full cruising, dude. You got it.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't go full cruise.

[Alicia Krauss]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

United Artists, one of the biggest companies at the time.

[Jonathan Kite]

Huge.

[Alicia Krauss]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Produced by Jerry Weintraub. Huge.

[Alicia Krauss]

Even I know that name.

[Adam Carolla]

How do we explain this? And then what happened to the guy who wrote it? Was it just such a weird movie that he could never do in the movie?

[Alicia Krauss]

Well, Marty said he probably died of AIDS four years later.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he still could have squeezed out another two movies.

[Jonathan Kite]

Another two sequels.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, this guy's a trilogy. Died in 04 okay, probably not. Probably missed AIDS and he had to go on to something or do something just.

[Alicia Krauss]

So maybe he wasn't.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody opened a daycare center in Encino in 87.

[Jonathan Kite]

Well, I feel like this was a Pacino passion project because he was one of those guys who was doing. I mean, you know, I think he was trying to tell stories. Like, look at Scarface, which I think now is like a cult classic now. But it's. It's a pretty insane movie.

[Adam Carolla]

It is insane.

[Jonathan Kite]

And then I think we just, like, sort of chalk it up. It's like, you know, Godfather, Scarface. Like. No, no, no, no. Those are not the same types of films.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Weird music, weird everything.

[Jonathan Kite]

But cool.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

But in retrospect, very cool. But you gotta think, like, that's not what's in fashion right now. And like, this sort of the.

[Adam Carolla]

And also the crazy.

[Jonathan Kite]

Like, you know, he's doing like a crazy voice.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

And you're just sort of like the fashion. I watched it the other day again. I'm like, man, the hair.

[Adam Carolla]

Everything, everything.

[Jonathan Kite]

It looks. It looks so cool. Like, the film stock that it's shot on is gorgeous. The music weird and beautiful. And then there's cruisin.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So this guy who wrote Cruising, Andrew. Nothing else after Cruising.

[Alicia Krauss]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Didn't go on to direct.

[Alicia Krauss]

Poor guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Few episodes of Friends or nothing. There's just.

[Jonathan Kite]

All he did was do nothing. Yeah, he did the L Word.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Did a few episodes. One season of the L Word.

[Jonathan Kite]

The bandana sales through the roof. That was the popcorn bucket.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, it was kind of a weird. The premise of the scene was weird because he looks at the bandanas and goes, tell me about these.

[Jonathan Kite]

Right. He was just like he was asking of anything else in the place.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Alicia Krauss]

And also, what is the rest of the store?

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah. Excuse me, Dildo. I gotta get past you. Yeah, Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But there are bandanas, and people traditionally wear them on their head and they wipe the sweat off their brow with them. The bandana's been around for a long. Banditos would put them over their face to rob a bank. Like, you wouldn't. Al Pacino wouldn't be confused. Like, what is this? Unless it was all just gay code. And he wanted the gay code one IMDb acting credit.

[Alicia Krauss]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

For this guy. And what was it from 1962. So 18 years before this. Before that, it was a cruisin short film. No, no, no. I wonder if they went to Tom Cruise early for this on a kind of who's on first kind of situation. No, it's called Cruising, right. Sure it is. That's my name.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's my name.

[Alicia Krauss]

I'll do it.

[Adam Carolla]

This is different.

[Jonathan Kite]

It wasn't big enough yet in 1980.

[Adam Carolla]

No. Now, this is pre Risky Business.

[Jonathan Kite]

Oh, he missed it by like a year.

[Alicia Krauss]

Was Risky Business before Cocktail? Yes, it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Just a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was breakout.

[Alicia Krauss]

I think he's kind of lucky that he didn't get pigeonholed into, like, that kind of character. Yeah, right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

It's amazing. He's had. His career is so incredible. He's picked like one or two duds. Like, you know, Tom Cruise every other movie. And I know you love Days of Thunder.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

Considered a dud, by the way.

[Alicia Krauss]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

Because his movies are so successful. It's just like, can that guy pick a script or what? Tom Cruise.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

Or Scientology. Can. I don't know.

[Jonathan Kite]

By the way. By the way. Scientology. If you're listening, and we know you are, help me pick scripts.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Jonathan Kite]

Did you see Mission Impossible, by the way?

[Adam Carolla]

Not yet.

[Alicia Krauss]

Is it good?

[Jonathan Kite]

Impossible? It's so good.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it?

[Jonathan Kite]

He's all this stuff because I, you know, when we talking about, you know, vehicles or whatever that he's doing, you know, the plane's sequence is unbelievable.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. It's a story. I talked to someone. It's like, yeah, it was good, but it was just like the story wasn't really popping.

[Jonathan Kite]

But you're not there for the. Okay, by the way, who are you talking to that was there for the story?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's.

[Jonathan Kite]

Was it the guy who wrote Cruisin'.

[Adam Carolla]

There'S such a thing.

[Jonathan Kite]

There wasn't a bandana scene. I didn't.

[Adam Carolla]

There's movies like Predator and stuff like that where they seem really way out there. But the story's really interesting, you know.

[Jonathan Kite]

I don't think the story was bad is my point. I don't. I think also Tom Cruise is so compelling, by the way. He's been in bad movies. This was not one of them.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, all right. So, Andrew, this person has not done a thing, wrote a thing, or done anything since Cruising. There's no credits. You just work with Universal and you work with the biggest producers and the biggest actors and you make a big budget film and then you just fall off the edge of the earth. There's just nothing.

[Alicia Krauss]

It didn't do that great for him.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it didn't do that great for him. But there's usually kind of coast to a stop a little. There's a couple.

[Jonathan Kite]

He's like, no, I've reached the mountaintop.

[Adam Carolla]

So we would not know what this. We don't know if this person baffled, opened a novelty store in Universal Studios.

[Jonathan Kite]

This is the movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to know.

[Jonathan Kite]

Finding out what happened to the guy in Cruisin.

[Adam Carolla]

To this guy? Yeah. Yes. All right. So there's nothing, I guess. Or just write nothing.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

I'm looking up his obituary.

[Adam Carolla]

It literally just says author of Cruising. That's it. Stop.

[Jonathan Kite]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Alicia Krauss]

Well, so clearly he was still proud of it. If he wanted it included in his obituary.

[Adam Carolla]

Well. But now you got a choice between Cruising and nothing.

[Jonathan Kite]

No. 1962 is a short film. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Wow. Cruising's authority. Gerard.

[Alicia Krauss]

Gerald.

[Adam Carolla]

Gerald. Sorry. Walker dead at 75 even. That's a weird one. Cruising Crazy.

[Jonathan Kite]

Especially. Cause there's a mouth above it empowering me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Jonathan Kite]

With McDonald's.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

Because it's Pride Month.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Pride Month.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And that was 25 years after he wrote Cruising. All right, well, listen, he'll be missed. We'll take a break. Alicia Krause got some news. Right. We'll do all that right after this. Chime. Mmm. Love these guys. Yeah, it's a headache managing your finances these days. It's complicated. It didn't used to be so complicated. You just had an ashtray filled with change. Now. Oh, boy. Chime understands that every dollar counts. And that's why when you set up a direct deposit through Chime, you get access to fee free features like free overdraft coverage, getting you paid up to two days early with direct deposit and more. CHIME makes it so easy, even a hack like me can understand how to work it. Chime is banking done right. And you can open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees. And with qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft. Up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals. To date, Chime has spotted members over 30 billion with a B dollars. Am I right, Dawson?

[Producer]

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[Dawson]

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[Jonathan Kite]

We have it so good in America. We're just canceling words right now. Not even. Not the racial slur. That shit gotta be gone forever ago. I'm talking about everyday words. Like on a plane, the flight attendant can't use the word turbulence anymore. They can say rough air and they can say light bumps. Light bumps. That sounds like a negative review for a coke dealer.

[Producer]

Jonathan Kite is on the Adam Carolla Show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't like all the nomenclature stuff either at all. I mean, I didn't like when flight cockpit became flight deck.

[Jonathan Kite]

I mean, come on.

[Alicia Krauss]

Yeah, what about master bedroom? You're not allowed to say anymore.

[Jonathan Kite]

You're not. You're not allowed to say grandfathered in.

[Alicia Krauss]

Oh, yeah, I did hear about that one.

[Jonathan Kite]

I looked him up because I was trying to write something and it, you know, it's. You know, you're not allowed to say gypsy. You can't say gypped.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, right.

[Jonathan Kite]

They jipped him out of it, you know.

[Alicia Krauss]

Yeah, stop. Because it's derogatory towards gypsies.

[Jonathan Kite]

Gypsies.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think in that department. And you can probably still get away with paddy wagon.

[Jonathan Kite]

You probably.

[Adam Carolla]

And you can get away with jerry rigged, which is German.

[Jonathan Kite]

Oh, yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

Anything involving the Germans, screw those guys.

[Adam Carolla]

We can. Well, also, there is a kind of a. There's kind of a weird thing that they don't really. There's a rule which is like, you go, all right, who are the minorities in this country? And they go like, okay, you got black, that's 13% of the country there. You got Hispanic, that's 31% of the country there. What about Asian? They're 4%. Nah, not. No, they're not. Well, but I thought we're talking about minorities here. There's less than half. They're less than half of. Yeah, I know they're doing good, but.

[Jonathan Kite]

Have you seen how well they're doing?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they're kicking ass, so leave them alone.

[Jonathan Kite]

They're 1%.

[Adam Carolla]

They're not really. Go to UCLA, walk around.

[Alicia Krauss]

Remember how brief the Stop Asian Hate campaign was?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, they don't want it. I'll tell you why the Asians flourish here. And so you kind of go, well, look, is this offensive or is this not offensive? And you Go, well, how they doing? Well, Germany, what do they got? They got Porsche, Audi, BMW. They're fine, right? They're fine. Okay, so make fun of them. And I'm like, well, I think the rules should be don't make fun of anyone or make fun of everyone, but not feel their annual income is to see how they're doing. Here's what the Asians do and you can tell and what they've always done. And I don't think they don't even like. I think Asians stop the stop Asian hate thing. Because here's what Asians do. They come in here and they go, they get a 10 year old Asian kid and they go, what's his name? Well, it was Asawa. What's it now? Joe, Walter, Blend in. Go. Don't have anyone try to pronounce your name. Don't correct, it's not Isawa, it's Isao. Don't do any of it. Your name is Joe. Your name is Sally. Go. Go. Blend in. Go Kick ass. Go. Take over. Don't march, don't look for a pride day. Don't tell people how to fucking pronounce.

[Alicia Krauss]

Get straight A's and play golf.

[Adam Carolla]

Just play golf. Get straight A's, play golf, kick ass. Take over. Do not fucking boast. Don't be loud. Don't wear jewelry, don't drive a Cadillac. Just blend and you can kick ass. But the second you start marching and having Asian Pride Day and get a bullhorn on the campus, you're standing out.

[Jonathan Kite]

Now, I've never seen an Asian pride parade.

[Adam Carolla]

There isn't. They just go quietly blend in and don't have people struggle over how to pronounce your name. Now the blacks go the opposite. They go, your name is now Nikisha. And it's like, okay, everyone's gonna have trouble with that. Then you're gonna correct everybody and then they're gonna go, I don't want to hire you because I don't want to be correct. And I don't know how to fucking pronounce your name. Don't do that. Get a basic one syllable, easy name. Go. Blend in. No Rolexes, no diamonds, but you go and you kick ass and you'll own all that shit.

[Jonathan Kite]

When you look at.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's what the Asians do, the.

[Jonathan Kite]

Immigration, when the immigration for Asians up, you know, they look at the top 10 baby names of the year, you know, it's like, wow, we had a lot more Joes this year.

[Adam Carolla]

Joe's and Sally.

[Jonathan Kite]

Joe and Sally. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And no Asian Pride anything? No. Movement of trying to take back? No, just you just go kick Chinese New Year. That's all we got is a hell of a party. That's all we got.

[Alicia Krauss]

There's nothing giving us money.

[Jonathan Kite]

It's good luck. It's good luck. Chinese.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, what was our story?

[Alicia Krauss]

Oh, well, we can talk about how Karine Jean Pierre has now switched her political affiliation to independent. Yes. So the former Biden White House press secretary, Karine Jean Pierre, kjp, as I like to call her, on Wednesday revealed that she was registering as an independent and announced a forthcoming book about her time in the tumultuous administration. So apparently this is the best part, though. All of these Biden insiders are speaking to the media, but on anonymity only. And they are lighting up their, like little group chats because they're afraid of what she's going to say about them. And Biden, obviously, as the House is starting this investigation of like, who knew what when.

[Jonathan Kite]

But when these press secretaries leave, and they always do, when was the last time that one of them left with a bomb to be like, wow, we didn't know that or we didn't assume that. When was the last? Because they all write books, they all.

[Alicia Krauss]

Go on speakers tours.

[Jonathan Kite]

Exactly.

[Alicia Krauss]

They make so much money.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's how they have to make money. They do this job. It's like somebody who plays sports just for the sneaker deals.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

You're like, it's a thankless job. Everybody hates you. But you're doing this so that you can make money in the long run.

[Alicia Krauss]

Well, apparently a lot of people in the West Wing hated her because she liked to be on camera. But obviously she did a really shitty job answering questions for the Biden administration and she didn't do the managerial work.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah. I don't think behind the scenes policy aside, I think, you know, I think any job for Biden, for Trump, for Obama, for Clinton, it's a bad job.

[Alicia Krauss]

Oh, the press secretary job? Well, I actually think it'd be the most fun because, you know, everybody's gonna hate you anyway, so why not?

[Jonathan Kite]

No, that's what I mean. I go, you're gonna get. Your entire life is a comment section on Reddit where people are just trolling you like nobody likes you.

[Alicia Krauss]

True. The press doesn't like you.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

People in the administration probably don't like you.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I, you know, I don't, I don't think we can hold against them that they basically lie for a living because they have to lie for a living.

[Alicia Krauss]

To keep their job.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what if you just went out? Like, if you just went out there and you just went. I took a shot of sodium pentothal and I found out I had brain cancer and took three weeks to live. So ask away. Is Joe Biden, Is he addled? Is he affected mentally? You'd be like, well, I. Obviously, you've seen the tape. He doesn't fucking know where he is half the time. But don't worry. Everyone else is basically running the White House, but he's not. So don't worry. But the part you should worry about is they're all crazy leftists. So you thought Joe was in the middle of the road. Joe is in the middle of the road. We literally have to get him out of the middle of the road. He doesn't know where he is, but he's got a bunch of lefty lunatics.

[Jonathan Kite]

He's driving a truck that won't get out of the way park.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? He's parked in of front a Corolla studio. He won't move. All right, so any other questions? Like, well, no, of course. You go. Joe's 100%. We just had a long talk. My promise. I need roller skates to keep up with that guy.

[Alicia Krauss]

That's literally an abbreviation of what she told Don Lemon, by the way. Who? Lemon asked her like, hey, you know, how is the president's cognitive abilities? This was back in 2022.

[Adam Carolla]

It's great.

[Alicia Krauss]

Kari Jean Pierre. Oh, we have it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we have it.

[Alicia Krauss]

He's the President of the United States.

[Adam Carolla]

Does the president have the stamina, physically and mentally, do you think, to continue on even after 2024?

[Alicia Krauss]

Don, you're asking me this question? Oh, my gosh. He's the President of the United States.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, he.

[Alicia Krauss]

I can't even keep up with it.

[Adam Carolla]

We just got back from New Mexico.

[Alicia Krauss]

We just got back from California.

[Adam Carolla]

That is.

[Jonathan Kite]

Why is your voice so high?

[Adam Carolla]

That is. I'm buying coke off him. But also, it's a weird. So here's how you know, the premise is weird. If our answer. He's the president. That's like saying your. Your head coach just went 0:13. Should we fire him? He's the head coach.

[Jonathan Kite]

You're answering a question that nobody's asking.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's not even a question. Yes, he's the president. That's what I'm saying.

[Jonathan Kite]

Nobody was questioning that.

[Adam Carolla]

You got to laugh, and then it becomes. It becomes laughable.

[Alicia Krauss]

I'm concerned if she can't. If she couldn't keep up with Joe. Biden in 2022, then maybe she needs to see a doctor. But she's not moving to the right. She is saying that she's actually. She felt like the Democratic Party betrayed Joe Biden. The description of the book says it's set to be released in October and it will look at the, quote, three weeks that led to Joe Biden's abandoning his bid for a second term and the betrayal of the Democratic Party that led to his decision.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Joe Biden isn't anything. It's just the people who work the auto pen ye with him. And that's all you really needed. Also, you know, when they go like, well, you gotta have the auto pen. I was thinking about it because the president has got so many documents and so many things. When I wrote my first or second book, they shipped 5,000 book plates. They call them 5,000. 5,000 little adhesive bags, three by four squares that you would sign and then they'd stick them on the back of the book. Right. I didn't get 800. I got 5,000. And they just. My whole life for the next three weeks was a box. I'd have a stack like four inches high, and I'd just be sitting in bed watching tv. Just sign, sign, sign. Wherever I went, I'd be standing in the kitchen eating, you know, signs. I'd. Everywhere. I wouldn't leave the house without a stack of these things. It was a pain in the ass. But I didn't have an auto bed like you. You can do it.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's funny to think of you in the kitchen just with a feed bag on.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. I had my nanny feeding me. Yeah, yeah.

[Jonathan Kite]

No, but you're right. When we would.

[Adam Carolla]

I said lips. When she asked, she goes, hips or lips. Sorry, hips.

[Jonathan Kite]

No, lips.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm hungry.

[Jonathan Kite]

But the thing is, like you, the auto pen is so funny. What does his signature even look like? And as he declined. And what did it become?

[Adam Carolla]

And here's the other thing, too. I realize if you. I go out on the road, I bring all my books. I've told the story a million times. I just bring my books they gave me and I sell them as merch. I'm trying to get rid of them. Basically, it's why I'm doing it. But I stand there in line after the second show and the first show and people come up.

[Alicia Krauss]

Yeah, they want you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

If you took the 25 people that brought a book and just opened them up out in the parking lot and put a flashlight, the signatures would look marginally different because I'm just kind of rattling them off. Rattling them off. You'd go, the same guy signed all these, but the first one and the third one and the 17th one are kind of different than one. So when they're all exactly dead nuts on down to the millimeter, it's a stem. That's an auto pedal.

[Alicia Krauss]

That's a really good way for us to. To see. Maybe that's one of the things that Congress can investigate.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they did? No, they.

[Alicia Krauss]

I feel like every time I'm writing my name, it's like slightly different.

[Adam Carolla]

It's going to vary because you're a human being and you're in a little different position. And sometimes you're not even looking down. Sometimes you're just signing.

[Alicia Krauss]

You're like, what's your picture? You're like, john. Nice to meet you, John. And then you're screwed.

[Jonathan Kite]

Well, autograph hounds, they used to say the clearer the signature, the more it was worth. So that there's sort of not. I don't mean mentally, but late stage. You know, in the beginning when you'd get like the beat needles to sign things were much clearer than when they had signed a billion things.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Alicia Krauss]

Well, then that makes sense too, because then it's an older artifact as well, most likely, too. So it's like. It's double. So it's like, yes, Paul McCartney and first album.

[Jonathan Kite]

If I was Joe Biden, I would just sign a jb.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

Justin Bieber.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah, yeah. Come on.

[Adam Carolla]

Come on, man.

[Jonathan Kite]

Come on, man. Just jb.

[Adam Carolla]

So now there's gonna be big auto pen thing. Thing, because you're gonna go, literally the last day you pardoned a bunch of people. But did you pardon a bunch of people or did they pardon a bunch of people?

[Alicia Krauss]

We all know he pardoned his son.

[Adam Carolla]

There's. They. Yeah, but is Jill Biden in charge of the auto pen? Because they go. She was kind of running things or Ron Klain or whoever in the cabinet was kind of calling the shots. And he was kind of out of it at that point. So is that Jill calling?

[Alicia Krauss]

Well, according to the Tapper book, they're saying that they're members of the cabinet that spoke to Tapper that were like, we didn't even see him and we didn't know what was going on. We were hearing from Clayne and like all of these other inner circle staffers. Well, so I think it is. It is a legitimate question. I think, like, this could be a. It should be a real scandal.

[Adam Carolla]

It should be. Nobody wants to, but they Want to turn the page.

[Alicia Krauss]

And Korean Jean Pierre wants to get a New York Times bestseller out of that one.

[Adam Carolla]

Homes.com. well, some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. And maybe homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's at. Homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched. To highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com that's homes.com We've done your homework.

[Dawson]

This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger, and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto tv. Stream now, pay never.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, my feeling. And it's kind of funny. I mean, Biden, he really bucked himself. And I'll tell you why. And I've been a broken record about this subject, which is sort of affirmative action, as we used to call it, or dei as they call it now. Lufthans. Look, it's fine if you run a fast food place and you're in a neighborhood and it's a predominantly black neighborhood, and you go, why don't we take a couple of the black guys and put them up front at the counter and put the Mexican guy behind the grill. Cause it could represent the community. But when it comes to really important jobs, just get the best. Which can be black and it can be a woman and it can be a lesbian. You're shrinking your pool. Like, if I just said, look, I need a roofer, but he's got to be albino, then someone would not a job for him. But like, people go, good luck finding a good albino roofer. And then if I found an albino roofer, there'd be a good chance he might not be the best.

[Alicia Krauss]

Then this is how we got Kamala.

[Adam Carolla]

Harris, because we shrunk the pool. So Joe said, I'm gonna have a vice president, but it's gonna be a woman, and it's gonna be a woman of color. And it's like, okay, gonna be a woman. You've taken half the candidates, more than half the candidates out, because traditionally there's more men. You know, politics or generals or whatever.

[Alicia Krauss]

Because women are more risk averse than men are.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

I mean, it's just literally why there's more men in politics. Because women tend to be more risk averse.

[Adam Carolla]

Naturally, if you just go, look, I'm hiring a plumber, but it's gotta be a woman. I'd be like, oh, you just took 85% of plumbing plumbers and you throw them out.

[Alicia Krauss]

Weird stat. Actually, it's actually closer to 99%. Oh, yeah, because I give campus speeches on, like, all the different roles of men and women and the beauty and the differences of men and women and like, literally plumbing and electricians. It's like less than 2% are women.

[Adam Carolla]

I was trying to be magnanimous and I was thinking about, as I was.

[Jonathan Kite]

Saying, I thought you were never say you're taking 100% God, and you're just going to have shit in your toilet.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what I was trying to do is make it cross over to Kamala, which is, you know, yes, there are black women. Condoleezza Rice, there's qualified black women out there. There have been, historically. But you've taken the lion's share of the people who could perform this task, and you got rid of them mathematically. So now you're left with a smaller group. And now you go, I need a woman. Yeah, okay. And she's gotta be black. And it's like, okay, now we're really getting finite here in granular. And then you pick one. And I go, well, now, be careful, because she may not be great at this job.

[Alicia Krauss]

Turns out.

[Adam Carolla]

And it turns out she was bad at the job. And it turns out you ruined your next four years because she wasn't up to it. And Karine Jean Pierre, we want a black woman. And she was up there going, I'm the first lesbian black woman who's ever done this job. Great. Applaud, but be careful. She may not be the best at this. And that's what happened.

[Alicia Krauss]

He did it with the Supreme Court, too. Ketodji Jackson.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Alicia Krauss]

The same thing every time.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And he inhabited his cabinet with like, look, there's gonna be two considerations. One is, can they be head of the joint chief of staff or the head of the whatever? But the other bigger one is, are they gay? Are they black? Are they a woman? And it's like, well, then you're not gonna get the best group to do this. And that's what he did. And then he would get out there and he'd go. He'd brag all the time. He'd go, this is the most diverse staff we've ever. And it's like, as inflation is, like, yeah, but they're not. You got Janet Yellen, who's like one of my mom's friends from when I was in high school, who seems totally inept and way overhead. Like, a lot of these people, mayorkas, they seemed incompetent, inept, and sort of over their head. But. And it's because they never should have been there in the first place. And also as a citizen of this country, basically I went on Tucker Carlson, we gotta find this Andrew. I went and did Tucker Carlson's show. It was like four years ago. And I just said, Joe Biden is essentially a drunken airline pilot and we're all on the plane and if he wants to go get drunk and fly alone, that's his business. But you pointing incompetent people while we're on the fucking. I'm on row 18 back here. No, that's not fine with me. You're incompetent people in the cockpit and I'm on the fucking plane.

[Jonathan Kite]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

And so is all of America. All right, sorry, One more.

[Alicia Krauss]

One more story.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krauss]

Okay, so communist country of Vietnam has now dumped their decades old two child policy. So China used to have the one child policy, and then they realized, oops, this is a problem. Russia apparently has a shortage of women and children. This is why they were like taking them from Ukraine, Allegedly. But Vietnam is now facing declining youth population and a growing gender imbalance with 111 boys born for every 100 girls. And apparently it's been going down since like 2013.

[Adam Carolla]

How many boys for every girl?

[Alicia Krauss]

111 boys for every 100 girls.

[Jonathan Kite]

That's a new version of the Beach Boys.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Going down to Saigon. Gonna get some.

[Jonathan Kite]

The Saigon Beach Boys.

[Adam Carolla]

Delta Mekon. Here we go. Yeah, okay.

[Alicia Krauss]

Alrighty. The study showed that the population of citizens, I guess this is where the concern comes in. Ages 15 to 64 is now up to 70%. So I don't know how much of that is over the age of 60. But they're like, average age of living is not that high. So they're concerned about all of their population dying off and they don't have enough people to repopulate.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just gonna say to everybody, if I ever get to any kind of position of power and someone starts floating the ideas, like, what if we started working a deal where there was more girls or less boys or more boys and less girls, and I go, you ever see those sci fi movies where the robots, everyone's best friend in Act 1. We know how this. You know how this turns out, don't you? You just gotta leave people alone. They'll procreate however fashion they. Some, some people have seven kids, some people have no kids, some people will be gay, some people have two girls, some people have three boys. When you start fiddling, it's creepy. It always. There's some point, 40 years, 80 years down the road where you wish you'd left it alone.

[Alicia Krauss]

For them it's been 30 years. Cause they started this policy in 1990, so it's a little more than 30.

[Adam Carolla]

I got my Tucker. What? When was this clip with Tucker? Would you know? Is there a date on it? We don't. It had to be three or four years ago. Four years. All right, so four years ago. And by the way, Jake Tapper and all you folks, Jean Pierre and all you folks are like, well, nobody told us the guy was in strong mental decline. Like, you don't have, have to tell anybody that. Like, here's what I'm saying. If I'm walking across the street and there's somebody who has dementia and is elderly walking on the other side of the street and not even talking, I can look across the street and go, that guy's got something bad going on. I can see the way his face looks. You don't need to be told. I wouldn't have to interview him.

[Alicia Krauss]

Well, Tapper, now that he's trying to like cya, he's like, oh, well, it was the greatest scan. It was the greatest unsuccessful cover up of all time. Because as everybody was covering it up, the American people could see what actually the hell was going on.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah, for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All right, is it me with the airplane pilot thing? All right, here it is. How much of what they say, the woke people, the people in charge, President, his accolades, do they. Do they really mean four years ago? So, like, if you quote Martin Luther King and they denounce you as a white supremacist for doing that, which happens.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

I happen to know.

[Adam Carolla]

Do they really mean it when they say that? No. I mean, I can't believe. Certainly I don't think Joe Biden means anything. He says, well, that's right. I don't think there's anything that comes out of his mouth that he means. And you know, when he's talking about Jim Crow 2.0 or he's talking about, you know, certain. I heard him the other day saying certain nations are being pulled back or certain states are being pulled back into a Jim Crow, where they're going to ask black people to count jelly beans before they can vote. It's insanity. It's reckless. It's irresponsible. It's sort of insane. It's really sort of the equivalent to your pilot being drunk. Sort of like. Well, he's not a bad guy. I know, but he's drunk. He's flying an airplane.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So he drinks a little. You know what I mean? He has a copilot. It is kind of that. You know what I mean? Like, well, he doesn't want to kill anybody. Yeah, I know, but he's a drunken airline pilot. That's kind of. That's what Biden is doing. He's just saying horrible. This is four years ago. I'm saying he doesn't know what. He doesn't know what he's saying.

[Alicia Krauss]

When King Jean Pierre was like, he's the president.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that was probably the redhead in there.

[Jonathan Kite]

She wasn't in yet.

[Adam Carolla]

Karine Jean Pierre, wasn't it?

[Alicia Krauss]

Karine Jean Pierre. No, it was the same year.

[Producer]

Pasaki.

[Alicia Krauss]

Really?

[Jonathan Kite]

Because she was.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this is April 21st, so this is more than four years ago. Well, I'm saying it's four years ago, so I think Psaki.

[Alicia Krauss]

Yeah, you might be right. Before she went to cnn.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait a minute. I'm right. I'm the one who's saying it.

[Alicia Krauss]

No, he said it first.

[Adam Carolla]

He did.

[Producer]

Psaki was in there till 2022.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yeah, this before.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wait a minute. Check the tape. I just told Alicia Krause. I was like, you went Karine Jean Pierre and was saying, blah, blah, blah. And I said, no, she wasn't.

[Alicia Krauss]

And then he said, no, she wasn't.

[Jonathan Kite]

No, she wasn't.

[Alicia Krauss]

And he said it was the redhead.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, now we're gonna check the tape. All right, take a break. Let's see, what are we doing over here? Alicia Krause, I'll give you a plug at the end. Jonathan, I'll give you a plug at the end. Dr. Steven Gundry is gonna come in. He's been in before. We'll tell you all about him. Health. Interesting, interesting stuff. And we'll deal with your gut and your brain and all the good stuff. We'll do that right after this. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Riley Auto Parts. Yeah, you know the jingle. They're in the business of keeping your car on the road. You got to do it these days. New cars are expensive. You gotta get all the mileage out of your old car as you can. O'Reilly Auto Parts offer friendly, helpful service and the parts and knowledge you need for all your maintenance and repairs. O'Reilly has always been a great sponsor and I've always been a big fan. Always used them even back in the day when I was doing a lot of wrenching on my trucks and my Zuzu Trooper, my Toyota Supra. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful and best of all, friendly. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com.

[Dawson]

Adam this summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now pay Never Foreign's voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey Adam, I gotta thank you for making me laugh so hard I had to wipe my eyes at least six times at the Bellflower Show.

[Producer]

Thanks a lot, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Funny as dude, I give it a 10 out of 10. And it was great meeting you.

[Producer]

And Mike August, just fantastic, sir. Thank you again.

[Adam Carolla]

Get it on.

[Producer]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, thanks. That felt good. Dr. Steven Gundry back in studio. The book the Gut Brain Paradox and Also the podcast Dr. Gundry podcast on podcast one or wherever you find finder podcast. I see it pop up all the time on my Internet now.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Oh, thank goodness.

[Adam Carolla]

And I think, well, let's try if we can whittle down nutrition and where we're at, there's always going to be this camp and that camp. Like there's the kind of all protein meat, eat that and there's all this. There's always the camp. Was red wine good? What about eggs? But I think we're starting to narrow it down a little bit, right? And we figured out the food pyramid's no good and eating bread and muffins all day is no good. And that good protein is good and that probably better off eating elk than you are eating chicken or something like that. I don't know. But we're starting to narrow it down to sort of protein and green and vegetable and fats and olive oil and avocado oil, seed oil. Right. Are we starting to get narrowed down a little bit?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, we are getting closer and closer. But like for instance, olive oil did you know The Greeks consume 26 liters of olive oil per year?

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

That's about a half a liter per week.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So a liter is like 3.7 liters in a gallon or something in there.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, you kind of think about it. A quart.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, think about, like, a quart. Right? That's.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

That's a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a lot.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

And, you know, they have some of the healthiest lifestyle, and there's.

[Adam Carolla]

Where do they get. Not. Where do they get their olive oil? But they're not chugging it from a tumbler. Like they're. It's in everything. But what's it. Yeah. Why is it so prevalent? Like, what's it in.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Well, it's. They literally cook with it, and they put it on everything. In fact, my. One of my sayings is the only purpose of food is to get olive oil into your mouth. And I mean that sincerely.

[Adam Carolla]

So olive oil is. Is demonstrably better than avocado oil.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yes, absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Here's the deal.

[Adam Carolla]

But avocado oil is better than sunflower oil.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yes. But let's not throw canola oil under the bus with the other seed oils.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that a controversial stance for you, the canola oil part? Because I do hear folks not into the canola oil.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Well, 20. So canola oil is actually rapeseed oil that is incredibly prevalent in Europe. Rapeseed oil has a little toxin that was hybridized out in canola oil, but it's essentially rapeseed oil. And it's got actually quite a bit of a really cool short chain omega 3 fat called alpha linolenic acid. This is really good for your heart. It's really good for your gut. And canola oil, of the oils that we consume every day, is actually one of the best that you can use. The problem with canola oil, up until a few years ago, almost all of it was sprayed with Roundup glyphosate to harvest. Now you can find organic olive oil, canola oil.

[Adam Carolla]

So if you're gonna. Let's do the oil rankings, one being best, we'll stop at five.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

And let's do the protein rankings. Could be eggs, could be butter, could be beef, could be salmon. I don't know. Let's just go one down to five, starting with the oil.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Okay. So number one is definitely olive oil.

[Adam Carolla]

Olive oil, that's a pretty easy one for people because it's ubiquitous. Everyone likes it, it's good. And you can just cook with it, put on your salad dressing. You just. Just get out, do olive Oil?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah. Just do olive oil.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there trouble with different kinds that are getting stepped on with other additives and things like that? Does 100% pure virgin olive oil mean something or is it more labeling?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

No, it's mostly labeling. Unfortunately, there is an olive oil mafia that can actually control diluting out olive oil. But here's the trick. Number one, look for extra virgin olive oil. Now that doesn't mean that those olives have not had sex with lots of other olive trees. That actually looks at acidity of the olive oil. And olive oil has to be a certain acid. That's just what extra virgin mean. Look for organic. But here's the best thing to look for. Look for a single origin of country. Now if it says produced in Italy, that doesn't mean it came from Italy. Italy. You gotta actually see that it was actually harvested in Italy. The other thing, olive oil starts to go bad the minute you open the bottle. So get the small bottles rather than the big bottles and don't look for sell by date. That means nothing. Look for the time it was produced. So for instance, right now it's 2000. So you look for 2024 and or 2025. Buy that olive oil and only use it for a year and then you're okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Is the olive oil. Can we equate? I mean, I just sort of equate price and sometimes container, like if it's in a plastic container, I kind of go like, I don't want it. Right.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

It's got to be dark glass.

[Adam Carolla]

Dark glass. And what about metal?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Metal's okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Metal's okay. Dark glass, no plastic. And it's not. Buying the expensive stuff doesn't guarantee anything.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

No. In fact, some of the most expensive stuff that you find in the gourmet stores is actually pretty rotten stuff that's multiple years old. In fact, I go around and look at this kind of for a living.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there a brand that you could throw out that people would go, well, you're pretty safe. Buy this online.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Can I do a shameless plug?

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Gundry MD High polyphenol olive oil. It actually comes from a grower in Morocco and it's all organic and it comes in small bottles and it's organic and first cold pressed and extra virgin, et cetera, et cetera.

[Adam Carolla]

So you know what you're getting.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

It has the highest polyphenol content of any olive oil ever tested. And that's what you're buying. Olive oil.

[Adam Carolla]

Does it taste any different than, you know.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Well, first of all, if it makes you cough that actually is a great sign of a great olive oil, because it's the polyphenols in olive oil that you're drinking olive oil for. It's not the oil. Olive oil is mostly oleic acid, and so is avocado oil. But the polyphenol content of olive oil is what makes it so good.

[Adam Carolla]

So olive number one.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Number two, believe it or not, number two is something that most people have never even heard of. Perilla oil.

[Adam Carolla]

Perilla oil.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

And people go, what the heck is a perilla? Almost everybody at one time or another has had a coleus plant in their yard or in their house. Multicolored leaves. Beautiful. Look it up on the Internet. It goes to seed. It's the number one oil in Korea and China, and it is almost pure alpha linolenic acid. And you can buy it. You can get it on the Internet. It's what I. I mix my olive oil with perilla oil, half and half. It's that important.

[Adam Carolla]

What does it taste like over a salad?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

It's bland. It has really no flavor.

[Adam Carolla]

What would you say olive oil tastes? Is it olive oil?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Olive oil should have a real flavor. And there's actually. I do olive oil tasting over in Italy, where we actually gargle the olive oil.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then under that, what's the third?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So the third that's really available for most people, if you've got to have something that has alpha linolenic acid in it. Number three is organic canola oil, Believe it or not. Don't throw all seed oils under the bus.

[Adam Carolla]

And then you go under that with avocado.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So avocado is the same oleic acid as olive oil, but it just doesn't have much polyphenol content. All right, so if you really want another cooking oil, get yourself either ghee or butter. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What's the difference between ghee and butter?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So ghee has had all the solids removed from the butter, and it's shelf stable. You can leave it out. It never goes bad. But here's the cool thing that I've written about in a couple of my books. Butter has a really cool fact called carbon 15. And carbon 15 is an odd chain fatty acid that has been shown even in the Framingtown heart study to actually prevent heart disease.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Butter.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

And so ghee is even better than butter.

[Adam Carolla]

Where does one purchase ghee these days?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Almost every store now has ghee.

[Adam Carolla]

So even you went to a Ralph's?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, Ralph's has ghee.

[Adam Carolla]

And is it near the butter?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah. No, it's in the oil section because you don't have to refrigerate it.

[Jonathan Kite]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so now let's slide over to protein. What's at the top of the food chain? Protein. It could be eggs or could be cheese, could be elk. I don't.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Well, number one in my current book, the gut brain paradox, the protein that I recommend is wild shellfish and wild fish. Number one beats everything else.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What particular fish or does it matter?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Well, you want to. Wild salmon is great. And you can get wild salmon. Even frozen. Alaskan salmon by law has to be caught wild. Canadian salmon by law can be farm raised. Here's a buyer. Beware if you see the words organic salmon or Nordic salmon or scallop, Scottish salmon or Irish salmon, don't buy it. It's actually farm raised.

[Adam Carolla]

So you go with Alaska and you're safe. And I have heard people go, well, I like salmon, but there's so much crap in the ocean these days. Are we worried about that?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

The salmon that is wild you don't have to worry about. What you really have to worry about is all the farm raised salmon, the salt, sustainably raised salmon. Back in the old days, we used to farm raise fish by feeding them other little ground up fish. It's too expensive to do that. So now they're fed ground up grains. And the bad news is everybody says, oh, salmon is loaded with omega 3s and omega 3s are really good for your heart and really good for your brain. And fish oil is really good. When you feed these fish grains and soybeans, they don't make the Omega 3s anymore. They actually make the Omega 6, which is the evil oil in seed oils.

[Adam Carolla]

So wild caught. Well, just Alaskan salmon.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Salmon, we know it's a salmon yourself.

[Adam Carolla]

What's our second protein?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So again, shellfish, particularly wild shrimp, clams, mussels, scallops, lobster, hey, why not? That's what you want to have as your next protein.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there a wild caught or an organic or an Alaskan or. Or from this Maine or. Is there any of that in front of that?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

The good news is almost all shellfish are wild with the exception of shrimp. And shrimp can be farm raised. Most of it comes out of Vietnam and Thailand. But you can get wild shrimp out of the Gulf, out of Florida and it'll save wild. Also a lot of it comes out of Mexico.

[Adam Carolla]

What's our third?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So the third is pastured chicken. Now that's different than pasteurized chicken, chicken. Pastured chicken means the chicken went out and ate bugs and scratched through the grass. Almost all of our chicken is not pastured. And people unfortunately say, oh, I'm getting organic free range chicken free range. That means they're out in the range. No, the dear old Federal government in 2007 passed a law that you could keep a hundred thousand chicken in a warehouse house, never let them outside except for 5 minutes every 24 hours to a 3 yard by 3 yard by 3 yard patch of grass. And if they had the potential to go outside during that five minutes, and of course they wouldn't, then you could label them free range, even though they never did. Here's the best part. If you feed them organic grains and soybeans, you can label them organic free range chicken. But the law says that if organic feed costs double regular feed, then you can feed them regular feed and still label it organic because you meant well.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, so that's. So how would one find your pasture chicken?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So it's beginning to show up. For instance, Trader Joe's now sells pastured chicken. Mary's makes a. A heritage chicken that's pastured. There's a couple of great producers can I throw out? So I have no relationship with these folks. My favorite is farmer dan from Texas. Lectinlightchicken.com Light spelled like a light bulb. And he literally feeds his chickens lectin free meal.

[Adam Carolla]

Does one go online and order chicken breast?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, you can do it.

[Adam Carolla]

So.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

And don't just order the chicken breasts. The dark meat is much better for you. And please, please, please. Oh, don't throw the skin away. The skin is the best part.

[Adam Carolla]

Thighs better than breasts.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Exactly right. And chicken livers are by far the highest form of spermidine. Another thing that makes you really young than just about anything else.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so this is interesting because I've talked to a lot of nutritionists and they'll put like elk or grass fed beef or something sort of up at the top. At some point, butter enters the conversation. But so far we got fish and chicken, which these guys don't often put at the top. So now moving past the chicken, what do we got? Fifth place or fourth place?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So I'm glad you brought up elk. Most elk and deer have a sugar molecule in their meat that is similar to the sugar molecule in US called and there won't be a test, I promise. Neu5 capital A C. Beef, lamb and pork. And regular milk has a different sugar molecule called Neu5G C capital G. They differ by one molecule of oxygen. Otherwise they're identical. Here's the problem. When you and I or your listeners eat grass fed grass finished beef, they make antibodies to this sugar molecule in the beef that actually promotes heart disease, promotes dementia, promotes cancer and promotes arthritis unwittingly. Elk and deer don't have that. Camels don't have that.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So you're better off eating elk than steak.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, you really are.

[Adam Carolla]

Now is it getting more fashionable, popular, easier to come by?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, I think so. I think people are beginning to realize that there probably is a health benefit. But the cool thing is that I talk about in gut brain paradox is I study traditional cultures and a lot of these cultures, these long living people eat a lot of preserved sausages and you go, wait a minute, sausage is bad for you. And yet there they are eating it. It turns out if you ferment a sausage to preserve it, you actually add bacteria to the mixture. Those bacteria eat this funny little molecule neu5gc and it's gone. So it's actually good for you. So for instance, just last week I had a bunch of, of Italian sausage that had been fermented the correct way. And you can do it in the United States. And here's the trick. Look at the label, read the ingredients and you're looking at your sausage and it's going to be in a casing. Look for lactic acid cultures. If it says lactic acid cultures, that means it was fermented with bacteria. Now some companies are getting pretty smart. They hear that people are looking for lactic acid and they don't put lactic acid culture, they just put lactic acid. That's totally different. So you gotta see lactic acid cultures and then you're safe. That's good for you.

[Adam Carolla]

We could go to Trader Joe's and find this.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yes you can. You can go to just about like Whole Foods.

[Adam Carolla]

You can go to like Italian sausage.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, Italian sausage. But it's gotta be in the case. And I've got a good friend of mine, a three time James Beard Award winning chef, Jimmy Schmidt, who now has a company called JR Ranch Foods and he ferments all his grass fed grass finished beef as the best hot dogs you're ever going to have in your life. Oh yeah, I got to write that down. So it's JR Ranch Foods. There's a JR Ranch. And it's not the same thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Love me a hot dog.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Well, let's see if I can get him to send you something.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh God, I'd be forever grateful now. Okay, I'm getting hungry looking at it. Ranch Foods.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

J.R. ranch Foods.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and so where do we get. Where do eggs land on this pyramid?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So pastured eggs are the best that you can find. But you gotta realize that farmers actually have to feed their chickens something else to eat besides bugs. And a lot of times they can't get out on the range 365 days a year. So you actually want to know what they feed their chickens. And when I'm at a farmer's market, I go up to the farmer, the egg producer. I say, what do you feed your chickens? And the right answer is, nothing. They work for me. And that's a really good answer. So you really want to find out. You are what you eat, but you are what the thing you're eating ate. Now, to be really safe, the safest egg is to buy an Omega 3 egg in the grocery store. These chickens are either fed flax seeds or seaweed as their primary food. And that's where the omega 3 fats come from. And there's a number of companies that make Omega 3s.

[Adam Carolla]

We could go to the Trader Joe's again.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

The reason I'm bringing up Trader Joe's is because. Because it's a kind of middle of the road accessible place. A lot of people can't handle sprouts or Whole Foods or Gelson's or something. A lot of people aren't going to the John's or Vons or Safeway or something sort of lower or Lucky's kind of lower, but the Trader Joe's sort of right in the middle somewhere.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, that's exactly what I tell my patients. Look, you can save your life at Trader Joe's or you can kill yourself. In fact, I've made YouTube videos of let's go shopping at Trader Joe's, let's go shopping at Costco, let's go shopping at Walmart. And I put them on my podcast and we're on the same podcast one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So what are I like to do? And I've probably done it with you before, but I do it with all folks who are nutritionists or who are in this game, which is I kind of go breakfast, lunch and dinner. A lot of the newer answers skip breakfast. And I get it, and I get the intermittent fasting and all that. And I think people are kind of wised up to that. But realistically, you go, well, what's for dinner? And, okay, so a piece of salmon from Alaska cooked in some olive oil. And then what's next to it on the plate?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Lots of greens. The greener the stuff, the better.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? So More broccolini and less cauliflower.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Cauliflower's okay. It's still part of the cruciferous family. Right. But what I try to get my patients to do, and I still see patients six days a week, I try to get them to try to use chicory, family of vegetables, you know, chicory? What the heck is that? Most people now in the grocery store, the regular grocery stores, you see radicchio, and it's a round head of what people say, oh, it's a red lettuce from Italy. So it's chicory and chicory. Most at Trader Joe's they have a chicory called Belgian endive, which looks kind of like tulips. It's also a chicory family. Why eat chicory? Turns out that your gut buddies the bacteria in your gut. Just think chicory is the best food they've ever eaten.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that sort of salad form?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, salad form. Or you chop it up, you cook it. Yeah, you can cook it, but most of the time you have it in salads. I have never had a salad in the south of France or in Italy that doesn't have one or two kinds of chicory in it. Never. And these guys. And you go, what? How come they're all doing this? Well, the studies show that these foods really feed friendly bacteria in your gut.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

Is there any starch that we're good with on the side of that plate?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, root vegetables are actually really good for you. Yams, sweet potatoes, if you. We're beginning to see the kind of purple or blue sweet potato more and more. The blue color is the polyphenols and. And the root vegetables. For instance. Go get some carrots. Don't cook them, but just eat them. Raw rutabagas and turnips like our great grandparents ate. These are all actually really great for you. They feed good gut bacteria.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there a noodle or a rice? And I know, I think the last time you were in here, we had a discussion about a pasta made of this type of flour. And there's always controversy because the hardcore people are like, that's the same as just eating starch or white flour, whatever it is. You had a different take on it. Is there even a. I think the problem is this. People like myself, every once in a while you get a real hard craving for pasta. And it could be spaghetti, it could be linguine, whatever shape twists, it doesn't matter. But you want it. Right?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

And so you go, I want to get the good stuff. And I kind of like to see if there was a lower carb version or a keto friendly version or something. So you go, and they got all these great names and it all seems great and it does the. Then you get into this. It has 8 grams of carbs, but the total carbs. And I'm always like, what, what does that total carb mean versus date? And it gets a little murky and then I'm not exactly sure what to get.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So the best one that if that's non grain based, is sorghum pasta and Shameless Plug. I make sorghum pasta at Gundry MD and it has the mouth feel that we're looking for when we're eating pasta. That's why we want pasta. We're looking for that mouth, mouthfeel, right. And it doesn't have any lectins. My public enemy number one, right? Millet pasta is also great. It doesn't have any lectins. I don't make a millet pasta, but there's many people do. Big Green makes it. But so millet and sorghum are good. If you really don't want a grain or pseudo grain at all, then you can use hearts of palm noodles. Trader Joe's sells hearts of palm noodles and they're pretty doggone good.

[Adam Carolla]

And so sorghum is what?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Sorghum is a grain that doesn't have a hull. We grow a lot of sorghum in the United States. It's usually fed to farm animals. Sorghum is cool though, because it really requires very little water and it's a huge grain in Africa because of that. And, and sorghum is really friendly to the environment because of the. It just doesn't need much water and it doesn't have any lectins. So look for it.

[Adam Carolla]

And then we get into something. I've always, I think everyone. Well, maybe you're not as into avocados as everyone is.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Oh, I like avocados.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. You love avocados. Now the other one I love is I love tomatoes. But tomatoes split rooms. Some people don't do it, others are like, ah, it's great, it grows, it's whatever. But you're shaking your head.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Well, remember, tomato is a nightshade family and tomatoes are from North America. They were brought back by Columbus 500 years ago to his native country, Italy. The Italians refused to eat tomatoes for 200 years after their natives brought it back because they knew how deadly they were by law. Italian pasta sauce. Tomato sauce. You cannot make tomato sauce without peeling and de seeding the tomatoes because the peel and the seeds have the lectins. So my, my grandmother on my mother's side was French. And she taught my mother to always peel and de seed tomatoes before she gave it to us. It wasn't until I went away to college at Yale that I actually, for the first time, had a sliced tomato with a peel and seeds in it. And I thought it was the weirdest thing I ever had.

[Adam Carolla]

So is a tomato good if it's seeded and peeled?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

And then is there pasta sauce from Italy is fine?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah. Pasta sauce that came from Italy is by law, peeled and deseeded tomatoes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. So there's hope for tomato people. Avocado, good. Anything else? Green. Good. Here's one. I was looking up a yam versus a sweet potato. Now, I looked it up, and it turned out a sweet potato turned out to be better than a yam. But I'm like, a yam just seems like more sweet potato, believe it or not.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah. When I wrote the Plant Paradox, we had two pages trying to explain the difference between a yam and a sweet potato, because they're usually mislabeled in the grocery stores.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, are they?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

The kind of nice, kind of orangey ones is usually called a yam, and that's actually a sweet potato.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Ugly white one is actually the yam.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, have I been fooled my entire life?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah. And it gets actually more interesting. Yams are actually from Africa. They're part of the lily family. And we've been eating yams for thousands of years. Sweet potatoes are actually part of the morning glory family, and they actually came from the Americas. So you're actually genetically more exposed to yams, the ugly guys, than you are sweet potatoes, even though they're misnamed.

[Adam Carolla]

So one is orange. I mean, okay, to me, orange ones.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Taste better, but the white ones are actually better for you. But the blue ones are the best.

[Adam Carolla]

The blue potatoes.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, the blue sweet potato.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, the blue sweet potato.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

The blue ones. And the blue potato comes from Peru, and it's a nightshade. I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there any rice? I mean, brown rice is better than white rice.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Oh, much worse.

[Adam Carolla]

Much worse.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

4 billion people use white rice as their staple. Now, how come 4 billion people go to the trouble of taking the hull off of brown rice to make it white before they eat it? Because they're smart enough to realize because it's the hall of rice that's bad for you.

[Adam Carolla]

So brown worse than. I mean, I'll tell you what happened. Cause I live this with my sort of hippie mom. What ended up happening is it became a race war in the kitchen, which is white we're bad because my mom. It's an interesting thing. My mom was a hippie who watched like Billy Jack and Roots and stuff like that. And she'd see the white guy and she'd go, that's a bad guy. And she's a black family. She'd go, that's a good family. So then at some point we'd go, well, what rice are we eating? And she'd be like, not the white rice. Not the evil slave owner who. Not that white rice. No, no, we're going brown rice because we care. And that's the better stuff. And then you'd go, what kind of sugar are we eating? And they go, not white sugar, brown sugar. We're eating the good sugar. And you go, what kind of bread are we eating? They go, not the white stuff. We're going with the brown stuff. And at some point it dawned on me that this was sort of a racial based thing and not so much a health based thing. And then at some point I was like, isn't brown sugar just white sugar with molasses in it? How could it be so good for you? It's good for you because it's brown sugar. And I was like, I don't know if this is science based. And is brown sugar just white sugar with molasses in it?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, basically.

[Adam Carolla]

And so I'm like, how's that better for you?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

It's not.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. So this is what happened. And then we got the brown bread and the brown rice and the brown sugar, and we got brown everything and we were off and running and everyone just assumed it was better.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So there is a fairly safe rice and it's white basmati rice from India. It's gotta come from India. We make white basmati rice here in the United States. We grow it in California in the Sacramento River Valley, and we also grow it in Louisiana, but it's a totally different strain. Basmati rice from India has a very dense starch that we don't digest quickly. White basmati rice from America has a starch that we digest very quickly into sugar. Now you can get white basmati rice from India actually pretty easy. You just have to go to more of a specialty store or you can find it online.

[Adam Carolla]

So that's not a Trader Joe's item?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta go online.

[Jonathan Kite]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

And you get that. And if you're sort of trying to limit your carbs, that's a much better choice.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Correct. But you still use it as a treat.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, don't go, don't do it every night.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Correct.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And the side. And did we get any. We got elk sort of down, lower down on our food chain of protein.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And we know the stuff like the chicken and the eggs, it's fine. But it has to be correctly labeled and sought out.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Again, you are what you eat, but you are with the thing, you're eating it.

[Adam Carolla]

And where are we at with the butter? I think people do a Carrie's gold and they go, that's good, but I don't know.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So it depends on the cow. The breed of cow makes all the difference. And a cow makes a protein in their milk called casein. Most people have heard of, of curds and whey. So whey protein is what's left over when you make cheese. The curds. Curds are the casein. Casein. In the United States, all of our cows primarily are Holstein cows. The black and white cow, they're very hearty. That's why we use them. And they give more milk. The casein A1 actually is pretty harmful to us. Casein A2, on the other hand, is. Is safe for most people. The Guernsey cow, the Swiss brown cow is casein A2. Turns out the Kerry Gold cow has a picture of the cow on the label. And it's a black and white cow. It's a Holstein cow. They're telling you not to buy that, that butter, believe it or not. So I tell my patients, they're being nice to you and telling you that's the wrong cow. So you can get. Most cows in France, in Italy and in Switzerland are casing A2 cow. So French butter, Italian butter, Swiss butter, Belgian butter is perfectly safe.

[Adam Carolla]

And where do we. Is that a Trader Joe's item?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, you can find French butter at Trader Joe's.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there a brand name?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

It depends. Most of it is called Presidente, but it comes and goes.

[Adam Carolla]

So you look for a butter that.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Was made out here by ghee because that protein is removed. That's why I say, look, if you're going to do it and you're really worried about who the cow was, then get geek.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, last question. No, last two. Cream, whole cream and then cheese. What are where we stand with that?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Well, so again, whole cream is depending on what the cow ate, pretty doggone good for you, but please, please, please don't put it in your cow. You really want to drink coffee black. And not a week goes by that shows that coffee drinking, particularly black coffee drinking, is incredibly good for you in so many ways, particularly for your brain health.

[Adam Carolla]

But you want it black?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

You want it black?

[Adam Carolla]

No ghee, no cream, no nothing.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

No. It actually binds the polyphenols. What? With one exception. Put allulose, a non nutritive, natural true sugar in in it. It lowers your blood sugar, it helps you lose weight. It's really miraculous.

[Adam Carolla]

Where do you get Ali alone?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

You can start getting it anywhere but Shameless plug. You can get it at Gundry md but you can go online and get it.

[Adam Carolla]

What's it taste like?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

It is a true sugar. It was actually first discovered in figs and it tastes exactly like sugar, except it has no calories and it lowers your blood sugar.

[Adam Carolla]

Cool, right? And so there's no additive. If people want that coffee that has the creamy sort of finish to it.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Coconut milk is the safest.

[Adam Carolla]

Coconut milk.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Coconut milk, yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Interesting. That's the problem. You get the almond milk, you get the coconut milk, you get all the different discussions.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Yeah, we're starting to see pistachio milk and also hazelnut milk, but get the unsweetened variety. Most of these crazy plant based milk milks are mostly sugar and a lot of seed oils to give them that kind of creamy consistency.

[Adam Carolla]

Last question. Cheese.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So if cheese is fermented, and that is a question, it may be one of the finest foods known to mankind. It gives you good bacteria, it gives you these really two cool odd chain fatty acids called C15 and C17. That research after research now shows it helps heart health, it helps your brain. And there's some cool studies out of Italy that men who eat Parmesan cheese have much better vascular health than men who don't eat Parmesan cheese.

[Adam Carolla]

So what are some fermented cheeses?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So for instance, Parmesan cheese.

[Adam Carolla]

Parmesan cheese.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

So most of the moldy cheeses, like Brie for instance, is a fermented cheese. Cheese.

[Adam Carolla]

Blue cheese.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Blue cheeses, anything that's got stuff growing in it is actually pretty good for you. It's easy to go to Trader Joe's and find Emmental cheese and Guyere cheese, both from Switzerland. They are raw cheeses that are fermented. And again, they're at Trader Joe's. Go grab them. The other cheeses that are great and fermented are sheep cheeses that are either pecorino out of Italy or if you go to Spain or Portugal, you'll see a lot of the sheep cheeses that are at Trader Joe's and just look for them.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me give you a plug, doctor. The Gut brain paradox is the name of the book, Dr. Gundry podcast is the name of the podcast or podcast one. Wherever you find our podcast and should people go to your website too?

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Dr. Oh, please come by.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that GundryMD? GundryMD.com.com is where you go. Always fascinating and I like talking to you because you know the fine points of these things. So always impressive your wealth of knowledge.

[Dr. Steven Gundry]

Well, thank you again. I get to test this with patients six days a week and I've been doing this for 30 years now.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm. Now it's funny because there's two parts. One, I like talking to you and you get all this stuff and all the information and then the other side of your brain is going, oh crap, I just bought a block of that bad cheese. I don't know what I'm doing. I thought I should have been doing it the other way, but there's always time to correct give it to somebody you don't like. Yeah, well, occasionally. That's myself, Jonathan Kite. I want to thank him. He's got dates coming up all over the place. Jonathan Kite. Tight comedy is where you go. And also Alicia Krause, you can listen and read her weekly op ed on the Washington Examiner. And for me, Salt Lake City, Utah, 13th and 14th, two shows, wise guys on the road. Then back to Kimmel's in Vegas at his club. And you go to AdamKroll.com for all the live shows. Until next time, it's Adam Kroll saying mahalo.

[Producer]

Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and then get tickets to see the ACE [e-mail].

[Adam Carolla]

This.

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