
Fitness trainer and media personality Jillian Michaels joins Adam in the studio for a conversation on red-pilling, real COVID misinformation, and the chaos surrounding the Los Angeles wildfires—and a missing drill. Later, Jason...
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Adam Carolla
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Jillian Michaels
Get the Angel REEF special at McDonald's. Now, let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and the drinks.
Adam Carolla
Sound good? I participate in restaurants for a limited time. Well, in this episode, fitness expert and all around expert Jillian Michaels is back. She's bringing the heat, man. We're getting into it. Also, Mayhem's doing the news and we'll do all that right after, after this. From Carolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, fitness trainer and nutritionist Jillian Michaels. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now with a lot of joy because of the firing of Joy Reid. Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No church are gonna get it on. Jillian Michaels back in studio. She's got a podcast, she's got an app. It's all there. Podcast is Keepin It Real with Jillian Michaels and the app, very popular fitness app, Jillian Michaels, the fitness app. Good to see you again, my dear.
Jillian Michaels
Good to see you, big guy. How you doing?
Adam Carolla
I'm doing good. Now, I know you were in Malibu then you're out of Malibu. I'm in Malibu. I'm still in Malibu, but I'm out of Malibu. Well, I'm, but I mean, how are.
Jillian Michaels
You still in Malibu? Yeah, you know, that's like, you know as well as I do that's that's going to be a 10 year debacle.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
Easy.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, easy. Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
There's not even anybody in charge. There's like an interim person in charge. There's no plan to clean anything up.
Adam Carolla
No, I.
Jillian Michaels
Disaster it is. I mean, no. Well, disaster squared.
Adam Carolla
It's, it's funny because there's a. Now I'll tell you something. I didn't know when I got my sort of, I guess I got smuggled into Malibu about four or five weeks ago and escorted in with a fire guy sort of inside don't tell anybody kind of thing.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Coyote.
Adam Carolla
And when we were, yeah, Coyote smuggled me in. He welded me into the fender of his Dually truck with some Coffee grounds, so the dogs wouldn't catch us.
Jillian Michaels
I like it.
Adam Carolla
So at some point, we're heading back up Sunset, and he goes, oh, this street's closed off. And many streets were closed up, but not in this area. Anyway, Kamala Harris lives up off of Sunset, which I never knew about. I lived here my whole life.
Jillian Michaels
Palisades?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, in the Palisades. So she lives sort of around O.J. s old place. You know, go down Sunset and you'd sort of head up the hill a little bit, go down another three streets and head up the hill a little bit. That's Kamala's place. Now, they got a big tractor trailer, armored vehicle, police, whatever thing parked on the end of the street. And the guy said they do it kind of like they're pretending like it's a looter thing, but it's really her house.
Jillian Michaels
Got it.
Adam Carolla
She's in that neighborhood. She lives in the Palisades. Her part didn't get hit. I don't think it went that far, that close to the 405 freeway on Sunset, but went basically from the ocean, PCH and up Sunset all the way up. But it didn't make it to her place. But she lives there, so she's making the rounds. And she had this to say. We have a vid of her. So if you're worried that this place wasn't going to get put back together lickety split, you can listen to her because she has a very detailed plan on how to get this thing back together. Mm. What goes through your mind when you see this? You're here. You're now seeing it up close.
Jillian Michaels
It's not only seeing it, Alex. You can smell it. You can feel it, Right? So it's seeing it with our eyes, and many people have seen it.
Adam Carolla
You all are covering it.
Jillian Michaels
But to literally be on the ground here, you can smell, wow.
Adam Carolla
The smoke that was here.
Jillian Michaels
You can feel the.
Adam Carolla
Put on pause for a second. It's an interesting thing because, you know, these people are idiots because when they speak, their brain is going, I want something good. She goes, you can smell. And she starts thinking about stuff, and she starts thinking about maybe vulcanized rubber that was burned or toxins or something. And then she goes, you can smell the smoke that was here, which is like what a 7 year old would say. But when you hear Karen Bass speak, she goes, look, if you want to rebuild your home and you want to rebuild it exactly as it was, and that's not going to be a problem. But if you want to rebuild your home but make it more taller. Like, she couldn't say square feet. She couldn't say add square feet. She couldn't say ad. Her brain went, give me something good, but it wasn't there. So they put themselves in these positions where they go, but if you would like to make your home more, she's going, bro, come on, brain, give me something. Give me something. And what comes out is more bigger than. Then it would cost more for that to do. She couldn't say cubic foot. She couldn't say, like, look, it's bad. If you want to build on the same footprint, that's fine. If you want to add a second story and add more square footage, we're going to have to talk. But it's the same footprint. She doesn't know. She can't say the word square footage because she's never said it because all she does is talk about good vibes. These are process people, Jillian. They're process people. They never do anything. They talk. All they do is talk. I know, Sorry. Run her one more time. Then we'll get into Jillian because she's mad, too. And it's her just saying nothing. Her saying, I'm on the ground.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Conceptual.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
Here you can smell.
Adam Carolla
The smoke that was here. You can feel the toxicity, frankly, of the environment. That's a five dollar word. You can feel the energy of all.
Jillian Michaels
Of the folks who are still here on the ground. Dig for it.
Adam Carolla
You know what I was thinking? Somebody needs, you know, like when cats get up on furniture and they get hit with a squirt gun. Someone needs a squirt gun for her going, babe, you're rambling now. Let's go. We want to talk about timelines here. Cleanup, things of that nature.
Jillian Michaels
It is fascinating that she is still front and center. I'm like, don't. Isn't this the part where you kind of quietly usher her away and pretend like none of this happened with her candidacy?
Jason Mayhem Miller
They don't have many people in that.
Adam Carolla
Forget the fire.
Jillian Michaels
You're going to combine these two catastrophes into one with that clip.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Jillian Michaels
It's just. I'm fascinated.
Adam Carolla
I'm fascinated, too, but I'm mostly fascinated by all the idiots who vote for the process circle talkers. You know, this is to my late, great mom. This would have been fantastic. Because you'd go, yeah, because she feels. She feels. She understands the way people feel. And it's like, we're not building anything, we're not fixing anything, and we're not preventing anything from burning down. We're just talking about vibes. And nothing's ever been built on vibes. 1. No bridges built, no skyscrapers, nothing. It's all vibes. But it is so attractive to so many people in California.
Jillian Michaels
I don't think that's it, Adam.
Adam Carolla
You don't?
Jillian Michaels
I think it is the propaganda about the alternative.
Adam Carolla
I really do. Well, it's both. You have to create both. I mean, you have to both someone.
Jillian Michaels
That genuinely was passionate about her. It was like, well, she's better than him. That's what I would hear all the time.
Adam Carolla
No, I know, but we just. We just had a hundred years of Gavin Newsom in California. He's another circle talker, process person that says nothing. And that is attractive to us. We had a choice. We had a guy named Rick Caruso who was nuts and bolts commercial builder. Let's get it done. And then we had Karen Bass, process circle talker, and we took her.
Jillian Michaels
But there's a lot of reasons why.
Adam Carolla
No one said Bass was. I'm sorry, no one said Rick Caruso was hit larian.
Jillian Michaels
Nope.
Adam Carolla
They did. We just dug the vibe of the circle talker more than the white dude who wanted to do stuff.
Jillian Michaels
I got a counterargument here.
Adam Carolla
Please.
Jillian Michaels
Okay. Two things. Number one, he was close. So much so that I believe Obama himself came out and campaigned on her behalf. That's how close he got.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Jillian Michaels
And the second argument I have heard, he was close.
Adam Carolla
It wasn't that close.
Jillian Michaels
It wasn't that close. I wasn't here at the time. I was in Miami at the time.
Adam Carolla
So it wasn't that close. But he. Yes. Somewhere in the run.
Jillian Michaels
Okay. And the second part that I have heard from Californians who ended up going with Bass is not that they don't like him. It's that they thought because she was a woman of color, she would be able to do and say things that he wouldn't be able to do as a white male to get the job done.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, now there's that.
Jillian Michaels
Well, listen, it shouldn't happen, but I've.
Adam Carolla
Heard it say these things. The woman of color part is half right and that we love. My hippie mom would have been very proud of herself for voting for the first black woman of color. But it wasn't pragmatic. It was just self congratulatory. Look what we did. I told people I've lived here my whole life. There's an airport. It's called lax. There's a Tom Bradley terminal. Tom Bradley was the mayor in 1972. Tom Bradley was the mayor 50 plus years ago. It's not a groundbreaking thing to us in Southern California, maybe other parts of the south perhaps or something. We had a black man who was mayor maybe two time. I mean, like I had a long run, you know, 69. I mean, the guy. 50 years ago we had a black mayor. So let's get over it. Yep. And now let's get a good mayor. And Tom Bradley, by all counts, was a good mayor. And nobody cared what color he was. He just was a good mayor.
Jillian Michaels
I don't remember, obviously. Cause you and I were very.
Adam Carolla
If we were born, we were Bradley. Tom Bradley, Mayor of. I don't know why I want to finish that.
Jillian Michaels
I feel like I was alive, though, because I feel like my mom met him or worked with him. There's a picture. So I feel like I was alive.
Adam Carolla
UCLA track star, I think, like an interesting dude. Okay. And he was very middle of the road. And he's like how politicians used to be. 70. Hold on. 73 to 93. Wow.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Really nice strip.
Adam Carolla
Is that true?
Jillian Michaels
93, that's a 20 year mayor.
Adam Carolla
I mean, I. No, I don't think so. But I do remember him being mayor for a long.
Jillian Michaels
I do remember.
Adam Carolla
But by the way, when you're a kid, fourth grade to the seventh grade is a long time. Now it's blink of the eye, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Jillian Michaels
As the decades fall, rule passed.
Adam Carolla
I'm like, wow, he was mayor for 20 years in Los Angeles. Is that what that is saying?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Through the riots.
Adam Carolla
First elect mayor, first liberal mayor. Longest serving mayor, five terms.
Jillian Michaels
Was he the mayor during the campaign?
Adam Carolla
Five terms? I don't remember the guy. All right, anyway, yeah, well, I do remember being mayor forever, but everyone was fine with it. Black guy, mayor, good, do a good job. Los Angeles is fine. Now it's not okay. So let's get the race out of the equation because we've been there and done that, is what I'm saying.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, we've.
Adam Carolla
It's over 50 years ago.
Jillian Michaels
I have to admit that there was a time, I wanna say a decade ago, that I completely bought into all of that. And it is absolutely virtue signaling and feeling like you're a really good person and you're doing the right thing and you're elevating people who have been marginalized for decades until shit starts going totally south. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck what color she is. This is a disaster. Then it's like it. All of a sudden it doesn't matter anymore. And Gavin Newsom is equally as Incompetent, if not worse in my opinion. And he is not a person of color, so no, far from it.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Jillian Michaels
My God.
Adam Carolla
Here's a topic switcher for you. And I'll get back to us complaining about this.
Jillian Michaels
Oh, good. Because, I mean, I love that.
Adam Carolla
I want to know.
Jillian Michaels
I had so much to say.
Adam Carolla
You're a parent, right?
Jillian Michaels
I am.
Adam Carolla
What do you have?
Jillian Michaels
I got a girl, 14. Oh, boy and a boy, 12 and a half. I say a half. Cause he keeps saying he's 13. Still 12.
Adam Carolla
So I don't know where you come down on this, but I have an idea.
Jillian Michaels
All right, I'm ready.
Adam Carolla
I think it'll be effective. Okay. I'm a problem solver.
Jillian Michaels
I like it. Do I have a problem?
Adam Carolla
Well, we all have a problem. Which is. I had a three year old, could have been two and a half. I had a three year old kid on my flight yesterday from Salt Lake City back to Burbank and this kid was just bellowing the entire time. Just bellowing. You know, and I'm so self conscious that I'm weird. Like as a, as a parent, I would take my backpack and put on his head and I wouldn't zip it all the way close. I'd leave enough to get some air in there, but I would just be going. All I would be doing is putting my hand in front of the kid. Just this kid's like on the play, you know, I'm on the plane for half hour before we take off. Half hour. I mean, the kid is just bellowing the entire time. And I've done two shows the night before, went to bed late, got up early, you know, sat in traffic for an hour. And this kid is just screaming. He's like, babies can cry, but 3 year olds can bellow. You know, this kid was bellowing, develop diaphragm. Yeah. And he's bellowing and the dad just sort of looking at him the whole time. And like I said, the dad had a cowboy hat. I would have just taken the hat and just, you know, done what they do with the plunger and the trumpet with the mute. You know what I mean? You know, like I would have done anything but just let him scream the entire flight. But. But I have a thought. And as a mom, I'm interested.
Jillian Michaels
Okay.
Adam Carolla
And I don't know if you would find this abusive or not.
Jillian Michaels
I highly doubt it.
Adam Carolla
Oh, good for you.
Jillian Michaels
I was already thinking about whether or not what I say next was going to end up in some tabloid that I abused my kids.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We need mother an airplane, baby.
Adam Carolla
I'm just saying we need those hoods. You know, when the defendant spits on the judge. And then the next time they come into court and they just pull that sack over their heads. It's not like the guy can't breathe. It just helps all of those around him. All right, so we wouldn't do it, but we needed a sack for the kids. But I got better. I got better. I got better.
Jillian Michaels
Okay?
Adam Carolla
When I was a younger parent and my kids, twins, 18 now, were in the back of my car. Remember very distinctly, my son is very mellow, very detuned, very sort of Labrador.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Ask.
Adam Carolla
And my daughter's Chihuahua. Let's get some. Let's go. Why isn't this happening now? Now you know. You know what I mean? Now you know, like, if you'd say to her if she'd been in her car, she will give you anxiety. These kids give you anxiety. And the reason they give you anxiety is they send you some text. They go, can you drive me to get froyo or something? And you go, yeah, I'll drive. And then they go, where are you? And then I'll go, I'm in my office. I'm just buttoning up. I'll be there in a second. And then they're down the car and you start running, like, knocking stuff over. Because 20 seconds later, you get another text going, where are you? And it's like, you can't slow the motor. Like, just can't do it. I just got this text yesterday, right?
Jillian Michaels
My son was like, pick me up at 5:30. At 5:32, I am turning onto the pickup spot. The road with the pickup spot that's 50 yards away. Where are you?
Adam Carolla
Right, Right.
Jillian Michaels
I go psycho. It's 5:32. When it hits 5:35, you can text me, okay?
Jason Mayhem Miller
When he was a kid, you should have put a potato sack over his head.
Jillian Michaels
Bastard. Yeah, I did give him one. You know, one of those was like.
Adam Carolla
I said, good stop, Good mama. Oh, then I think you're gonna like my idea.
Jillian Michaels
Okay, I'm ready.
Adam Carolla
By the way, Dr. That's how Dr. Drew would always be. I traveled the world with that guy. He'd meet in the lobby at 7am you get the text at 7:01, what's going on? Be like, I'm in the elevator's what's going on. You gotta give it to 7:05. You gotta give five one Beatles song before you start checking into where the person is. But all right, so be it. So I remember years ago, I've told the story before. I had my son and my daughter. And they're in the car seat, and they're in the back of the car. And we were driving from Malibu from an old house I had in Malibu. And we're going through Malibu Canyon. We're heading back toward La Canada. And as we're going through the canyon, my daughter, two and a half, three, she's in the back. She's bellowing the whole time. Just bellowing and not, you know, for no good reason. My son's just sitting there like one of those plastic owls, you know, on top of a sign. It's just like he's just sitting there. She's just bellowing the whole time. So I'm driving the car. Well, she starts bellowing. I just hit the all window down and all the windows come down, and I'm going 45 or 50. And she just gets hit with this big wave of air, right? And she gets hit with this wave of air. And I see her face go like, what the.
Jillian Michaels
Huh?
Adam Carolla
She stops bellowing because she's confused. And by the way, she's not bellowing for any good reason. She's bellowing to bellow, you know what I mean? So she can stop because there's no pain that's associated with it. And she gets confused and she starts shaking her head like, what's going on? This big gush wind's hitting her in the face and she's like, stops immediately stops and then sits. And then I roll the window back up and then she starts collecting herself and then she starts bellowing again. And then all the windows come down again and she gets hit with this whoosh of air. 50 mile an hour breeze in the face. And she's like, stop. Stops are cold. And I was like, okay, this works. Like when you can, you know, all the shushing or rattling of toys or anything that doesn't do anything, but the shot of air confuses them. It knocks them off their game and it gets their head somewhere else, right?
Jillian Michaels
It's fairly gentle, too.
Adam Carolla
And it's not. It's not.
Jillian Michaels
I was thinking a brake check.
Adam Carolla
No, it's not.
Jillian Michaels
You ever do those to your kids? I just bamboo and they're like, oh, she's pissed.
Adam Carolla
There's no. It's not a forearm shiver. It's not the backpack over the head. It's not a flick in the nose. I said, I think this works. And then I started thinking about those little compressed air cans they'd use. They always have them when you shoot to clean the Lens and the filming. Do it with the keyboards, you know, computer stuff. Little cans, little can air. And the kid just starts going nuts. And you just go. It's like, what? Kid will be confused. Eventually it'll annoy the kid, and it'll start associating the crying with the. Oh, we could use that for Kamala Harris, too. You're right. Because she starts waxing on about a seat at the table and living in dignity and trying to come up for different words that you can't come up with.
Jason Mayhem Miller
End us.
Jillian Michaels
I love it.
Adam Carolla
Just shoot her. She'll feel it, like, see her hair move a little bit. People just think it's. And it'll be good for her because she'll get the fuck on to something. You know what I mean? Alex Michelson could interview her and just.
Jillian Michaels
Like, Pavlovian, like, exactly right. Here's the swish or here's the sound.
Adam Carolla
Oh. Eventually.
Jillian Michaels
I don't know that she's capable of a course correct, though.
Adam Carolla
You're right. But eventually, in the Pavlovian department, we don't even need the compressed air. You just go. And she'd be like, okay, moving on.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I think you're describing cognitive behavioral therapy.
Adam Carolla
That's what it would do.
Jillian Michaels
I like it, but I'm not optimistic.
Adam Carolla
Not with her. No. But the kid bellowing on the flight, compressed air. Now, some mom, some Karen mom who thinks she's better than you is gonna be very upset that you've hit your kid with a little compressed air. But I think it would work. I just. That can. They all use it on the lens. All the cameramen have it. It's got a little. It's not gonna tear anyone's retina. You know, just.
Jillian Michaels
I think that's quite gentle, and I.
Adam Carolla
Think it will work. I've experimented.
Jillian Michaels
I mean, I will never have a toddler again, so I can't. I'll never be able to try and test. But I appreciate where you're going with it.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You just do it with random toddlers in the airport.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I'm gonna bring my own can on the next plane, and I'll just lean over and just go get. Let me give a shot there, see what it does. It certainly confuses them enough to make them stop.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You're right.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Breaks their state.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Mm.
Jillian Michaels
I like it a lot.
Adam Carolla
I wonder if there's videos of that. I can't. Can I be the first person that has come onto this? I found it out in the car. Works like a champ in the car. But I've Never tried the mobile. Compressed air on a flight.
Jillian Michaels
My ex does have a baby.
Adam Carolla
Mm.
Jillian Michaels
I mean, I could ask her to borrow the baby.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
I mean, I. Well, I don't think we'd get that far, but I could deliver.
Adam Carolla
Well, tell her for an experiment.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, exactly.
Jillian Michaels
I mean, it's. The child will remain unharmed.
Jason Mayhem Miller
This is for humanity. This is not just for.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not all about you.
Jillian Michaels
I can inquire.
Adam Carolla
How old is she?
Jillian Michaels
The baby is about to be two.
Adam Carolla
Oh, good. Perfect age. Good age. All right.
Jillian Michaels
I don't know what made this woman go in for a third child, but it did. You know, she's. She loves being a mom, and I.
Adam Carolla
This is your ex?
Jillian Michaels
My ex. She's a great person. Loves to be a mom. And she decided to start the race over.
Adam Carolla
Did she use a surrogate?
Jillian Michaels
Her new wife had the baby.
Adam Carolla
Ah. I guess you can do that. How old is she? No, I mean, one of the perks of being a lesbian.
Jillian Michaels
She's older. To be honest, I think her wife is now, like, 44 or 5, and she was, like, 42 when they did it.
Adam Carolla
And then how to keep me intimately involved. I know.
Jillian Michaels
I know the general.
Adam Carolla
Just tell her I need the kid for a southwest hop. That's all the West.
Jillian Michaels
I could call, you know, and also, I'll try.
Adam Carolla
I don't. I could go to Vegas. I could go to Phoenix. I could go to Oakland. You know, she's got relatives in some of those places. I could drop the kid off, like, you know what I'm saying? Let's not just kill jet fuel. Oh, she's in Pennsylvania. Yeah, we're not going Amish country, but.
Jillian Michaels
The whoopie pies there are delicious.
Adam Carolla
I'm sorry.
Jillian Michaels
That could be worth it.
Adam Carolla
But, yeah. So see if we can borrow the kid for an experiment. I'll have him back in, like, three days.
Jillian Michaels
I'll work on it.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Jillian Michaels
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
That's number one. Number two, they got. Now, how do you figure out where you get the sperm when you're creating a kid, like, in such a fashion?
Jillian Michaels
To be honest with you, this was a huge fight.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Jillian Michaels
Because I really, really.
Adam Carolla
You wanted David Crosby.
Jillian Michaels
I wanted a friend of the family. I think kids need a dad, and obviously.
Adam Carolla
Mm.
Jillian Michaels
Yet you would sound obvious, but there are people that just don't think it's necessary.
Adam Carolla
Like, I agree.
Jillian Michaels
It's ideal.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
I've had the fight many times, like, what if the dad's shitty? I'm like, well, obviously, we wouldn't pick a shitty dad.
Adam Carolla
Okay, I guess so.
Jillian Michaels
And then there are sperm banks. I did not like that simply because one, I wanted my kid to have a father role model, a man in his life, whether it was a girl or a boy. I think it's equally important for different reasons. And I just like, do you really want to open the door to who knows?
Jason Mayhem Miller
So how much is the man involved in your child raising? You know, because I understand, you know, you're lesbian.
Jillian Michaels
No relationships.
Jason Mayhem Miller
But you see the value of male role models.
Jillian Michaels
Very much so. The long story on this one is that she actually won that fight. So she ended up using sperm bank donor. We had a deal that I was allowed to ask two different friends and they didn't want to do it. Then you can understand why I wouldn't want to do it. I'd be like, if I'm the kid's parent, I'm gonna need to be really involved. And she. They wanted to do it, but so much so that she was like, I don't want to share my kid. It was one of the biggest fights we ever had. And it was the beginning of the end, very. Unfortunately, because our disagreements.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, magnifying. These are fundamental. But these are interesting. Here's an interesting question, which is there's. I learned from Loveline.
Jillian Michaels
I'm ready, man.
Adam Carolla
Aren't that fluid. It's hard to get them to go from being, you know, heterosexual to homosexual. You can, but it's is real hard.
Jillian Michaels
Okay.
Adam Carolla
Women are much more fluid. They can move in other directions.
Jillian Michaels
A commitment, though, Adam.
Adam Carolla
I agree. I totally agree.
Jillian Michaels
As a dude, I mean, like, I also do not want a. Never mind. I don't. We don't need to get. I get what you're saying of a commitment.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I see, I see.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So graphic.
Jillian Michaels
We've seen the videos. I mean, I'm just saying.
Adam Carolla
What I'm saying saying is some women may be more traditional, found this lifestyle later in life after you've learned a few things and are doing it for, I would say, organic reasons. Some women are angry at men and enjoying the lesbian lifestyle, which means, no, you do not want a man in this person's life. And so you're more traditional. And you're saying, I think it's important for a child to have a man present in their life. But many lesbians are there because they're angry at men.
Jillian Michaels
So you make a.
Adam Carolla
You're making a tough point there. You got to find a traditional sort of old school in their sensibilities lesbian who shares this.
Jillian Michaels
It's unfortunate that that would Be considered traditional. Traditional. I mean, it's Freudian.
Adam Carolla
Well, we're not. You mean mother, mother, father, kids need.
Jillian Michaels
My mom happens to be a psychoanalyst. So I could sit here and tell you all the reasons kids need a father in their life. Boys need a role model. Boys need to feel contained. Boys need a ma.
Adam Carolla
It's.
Jillian Michaels
I give. You know, a girl needs to have that healthy transference where daddy tells her she's beautiful. Daddy gives her this internalized sense of self esteem. She plays that out, hopefully, in healthy relationships with men. Now, again, it's ideal. I get it. Not everybody has the perfect father and it can backfire. But if you have the luxury of being able to say, this is a great man, this is a guy. There was one guy and he goes, I've always wanted to be a dad. And she was like, nope.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Jillian Michaels
Because she just did not want. She didn't want somebody to.
Jason Mayhem Miller
She didn't want a guy around.
Jillian Michaels
Not a guy. She didn't want to give up her kid.
Adam Carolla
She wanna share. She wanted timeshare.
Jillian Michaels
That's exactly it. Whereas I was like, this is amazing. And you know, it sucks because I've had these talks with my son and it. It fucks with him.
Adam Carolla
And I'm like, buddy, which part? Not.
Jillian Michaels
Not having a dad, not knowing a dad, it's heartbreaking. Honestly, it's really hard. It's heartbreaking. I watch it play out in his life in different ways. And the only thing I can say is I'm like, pal, I'm sorry, you know, this is not the only way, obviously that we have and we'll continue to fuck you up, but if it didn't go this way, you wouldn't be here. If I had gotten my way, you wouldn't actually exist. So this is something that we both have to contend with and the trade off is you.
Adam Carolla
Now, did your ex get along with her dad? Yeah, she had great admiration for dad. Well, that's interesting.
Jillian Michaels
She didn't want to share.
Adam Carolla
Didn't want to share.
Jillian Michaels
She gave me a couple of guys. Then the third one was like, I've always wanted to be a dad. And she just was like, no way.
Adam Carolla
But as part of that, your very busy schedule and lifestyle and maybe hers isn't as busy as yours. I mean, maybe she looked at this as, this is kind of my job. Your job is traveling, is making money, is motivating, is.
Jillian Michaels
Well, I mean, now it's 50, 50 with the kids. I mean, so it ended up being the thing you didn't want, which was Giving up the kids half the time.
Adam Carolla
That's ironic. Very ironic. Well, let me say this. I don't know, does she work? Does she have a career?
Jillian Michaels
She does not work.
Adam Carolla
That's what it kind of felt like. This is what she wanted to do.
Jillian Michaels
It is. And she's great at it.
Adam Carolla
But it is ironic that. Yes. That you bring up now with shared custody, this kid you don't get to see 50% of the time, whereas the dad you're worried about was gonna see the kid 10% of the time.
Jillian Michaels
Right.
Adam Carolla
And now we're at 50. But bigger subject. And I talked to Dr. Drew about this all the time. People like not wanting something to happen, but willing it to happen and almost making it a self fulfilling prophecy. I can't tell you. So many people in my life, I go, you didn't want this, you didn't want this, you didn't want this. Now you have it, created it. Why did you do this? Or why did you feel the necessity to do it? Now, I don't think they do it consciously, but I, as a dad who's semi present, I will tell my kids all the time, whatever it is you do, whatever happens to you, you will do it to yourself. You're gonna blame everybody. You're gonna blame the boss, you're gonna blame the man. You're gonna blame everything. No, no, you. Everybody I know whose life didn't work out the way they want to or got exactly what they didn't want, they brought it on themselves. And I don't know why, and I don't know what that is.
Jillian Michaels
Explain literally how this happens. When people act to avoid the things that they fear, they create it. The behavior they engage in to prevent it, manifests it. I'll give you an example. Okay. You want to date this girl. You're terrified she's going to say no. So if you ask and she says yes, will you win? But if you ask and she says no, you're mortified. You're humiliated in front of all of your friends. If you do nothing, what happens? And people always say nothing, but it's not nothing. It's the worst possible scenario. That's what happens when you say nothing. So now you don't ask and now she never goes out with you. That's your worst case. You'll survive the humiliation. You'll learn from it. You'll become better at approaching girls. And the right person right around the corner in life is waiting for you to become whoever you need to be to be ready for that healthy relationship. It's I have seen it over and over and over. You're afraid to go to the doctor. Why? You don't want bad news. You don't go to the doctor, you end up with a quadruple bypass, you know, or, God forbid, dying of a heart attack. It's whatever you act to avoid. That exact behavior, in attempting to avoid it, manifests it irrefutably.
Adam Carolla
I just mean every single person I've ever fired has brought it on themselves. And then at some point, they're disappointed they got fired. And it's like you went out of your way to make sure that this happened. There's so many things that I never needed to know about, and it's kind of crazy, and I think it's subconscious, but it's a pattern. Now, successful people never do it, but unsuccessful people make it happen all the time. And it's kind of crazy, really.
Jillian Michaels
You don't. Okay, this is. Forgive me for this little sidebar. I decided I was going to try Ayahuasca. Never done psychedelics. And everybody I know in my line of work is experimenting with psychedelics to treat. I'm not an addict at all, but to treat addiction, to have epiphanies, all of this stuff. So I was like, okay, you know what? I'm the only one in my little coterie here that hasn't tried this. So I went into it, Adam, and I told the shaman, I was like, listen, all I don't want is to feel like I drank 10 tequilas and then have nothing happen. And she's like, why are you saying this? I'm like, cause I just want to, you know, I just want to get on the table like, what I don't want so I can ease into the motherfucker. If I did not feel like I drank 10 tequilas, vomited my guts out, and then felt nothing after except for this voice to tell me, asshole, I swear to God, like a pissed off parent. Who do you think you are? You don't manipulate and manhandle reality. You know, this is how it's gonna go, and you're not the boss. And it gave me every single thing I said I did not want, arguably, because I myself, and I'm pretty successful, manifest this shit.
Jason Mayhem Miller
God came down from heaven and gave you exactly where you asked.
Jillian Michaels
And then the shaman lady, when we were you, I can't remember what it's called, but when you integrate the experience, she's like, I told you, don't do it. I was like, but I didn't do it. The Next night, when I re approached it, I went in with zero expectations, tried to be very present and just say, you know, what if nothing happens? Like, I'm here with friends, I got a couple days off. This is great. At least I can tick it off my bucket list. Like, no big deal. And then I did get sick, but it passed relatively quickly. And then it kind of opened itself up to me and did give me what I was looking for in that I didn't get to blast off and talk to God or any of that stuff. But I asked specifically a few questions about how to approach different things in my life. And I did get answers. But it kicked. It had to fuck. It spanked me pretty darn hard.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
And I. Spiritual examination. This is something that I'm doing. People do it, I think, to varying degrees on a continuum.
Adam Carolla
I agree. It's a human quality. It's the kind of thing you see the pothole in the distance and you're going, don't hit that pothole. Do not hit that pothole. Don't hit that. And you see the part, eventually you're just going through the pothole. You have a flat iron. You're like, I don't know why we had to do that, but we had to do it for some reason.
Jillian Michaels
I don't know.
Adam Carolla
Well, look, I mean, I'm oversimplifying it, but if the. Anyone, and I would say this about myself, if you ever have a loose tooth or something that hurts or is painful, is annoying or something, you'll just sit around flicking it with your tongue all day. You know what it is, you know it doesn't feel good. You know what's going on? You can't get to the dentist till Friday. Why the flicking? Why the self inflicted tongue flick on your tooth? You understand what the feeling is? It's a painful feeling. Why do we keep flicking it every 31 seconds?
Jillian Michaels
In the event that maybe. Okay, I'm guessing, I'm guessing. Hold on this time. I don't know why this keeps slipping. Forgive me. Okay. In the event that maybe you flick it again and it doesn't hurt. Like I fucked up my elbow snowboarding last week and it kills, like right here. I hyper extended it. And yet every like 30 minutes I'm like, ah, yeah, still hurts, man, still hurts.
Adam Carolla
I wish it was as pragmatic as you described.
Jillian Michaels
I'm guessing I'm grasping at straws here, man.
Adam Carolla
No, I think it's. I think it's just a little, little infliction of pain maybe. All right, here's a question.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Make you feel alive.
Adam Carolla
I got a lot to get into. No, it's all right.
Jillian Michaels
Shouldn't have gone down that aisle.
Adam Carolla
No, no, I'm interested in it as well. I've never done it. All right. I had something funny, you know? It is. It's funny. We're kind of talking about personality types, right? And Mike August, who I travel with, he's a problem solver, but not because he's smart. It's because he has chutzpah. And he's the kind of guy who, if you go, oh, man, this line is so long, we're never gonna make our flight. He'll go. We'll just go to the front of the line and tell him to get out of the way because we're running late, you know? And I go, don't bother. No, Mike, you can't. And he'll just walk up and go, sorry, we're running fine. And I'll go, sorry, sorry, I don't feel right. I don't feel right. And get on flight. And then you go. That. That is a good quality if you need to get stuff done. So he. This is out of a movie. We're leaving Salt Lake City before I get on the flight with the bellowing kid, right?
Jillian Michaels
Oh, same. Got it.
Adam Carolla
Same flight.
Jillian Michaels
I'm with you.
Adam Carolla
He drops me off with all the bags, including a big merch bag. We gotta check. And then he goes, I'm gonna go drop off the rental car. I go, okay. So I go drag everything inside the airport. And I see at Southwest, the bag check kiosk, they have like, I don't know, three or five kiosks. And you print out the thing and put it on the bag. Then you go hand it in. The line for that is about 200 snowboarders. And that's all a bunch of Heschers holding their snowboard thing. And the line is. Now, I've done this a million times at Burbank, at lax, there's two people in line, and you get the thing print out. Now there's 200 people in line, and it's about an hour, hour and five minutes for the flight. And I say to Mike, he's coming back after dropping off the rental car. I go, mike, we're not going to make the bag. Now, the line for checking the bag is 200 people long. The line is, I don't know, hour and a half. We don't have that kind of time. We could take some of the stuff that's in the bag and stuff it in our bag, DVDs, books, whatever. And then we're just gonna junk the bag. We're just leaving the bag behind. Cause we're not waiting in line. We're not checking the bag. The bag's on its last legs anyway. No harm, no foul. I don't want to leave it. And I'm thinking about, like, I don't want bomb patrol to come over and, like, stuff like that. I'm trying to figure out how to. How to. How to dump this bag in a way that's not going to get things cordoned off and stuff. So I go, so Mike comes in. Join a terror watch, right?
Jillian Michaels
Okay.
Adam Carolla
And so Mike comes strolling in, you know, and it's an hour before the flight, and he goes, what's going on? I go, you see this line? It's going all the way around the corner, I guess. Yeah. I go, that's the bag check kiosk line. We're not going to be able to check this bag. And he goes, yeah, okay. All right, give me a minute. Give me a minute. I go, I don't know what we're doing, Mike. Cause this is the line, and we got a bag. And he goes, hold on. There's a priority plus line or whatever, but we're not in it. So Mike goes, okay, give me a minute. He goes to the kiosk. He goes to the other kiosk where you just get your boarding pass. Eventually there's gonna be a kiosk where you fly the plane, where you get your pilot's license. Comes out of the kiosk with a little captain's uniform.
Jillian Michaels
I mean, that could be happening now.
Adam Carolla
By the way, some Fiesta Mix. Fiesta Mix comes out and a pilot's license. Because we're now at the point where there's nothing they can't outsource, right?
Jillian Michaels
I mean, here's your FAA security clearance.
Adam Carolla
Here's some Fiesta Mix. Go fly the plane.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And you need a mustache. A great one.
Adam Carolla
So Mike goes to the other kiosk, which no one's in line for, and he gets the ticket. He gets both our tickets printed out. Then he comes back around. He goes, okay, let's go. Get in the helpline. And I go, what are we doing? He goes, bring all the luggage. Bring the luggage. Get in the helpline. So now we go stand in the helpline. And we're standing in this helpline, and they got, like, the Priority plus. And then they have. The other people are just dropping off the backs that they waited in line and put the tags on themselves. From the kiosk. And we get to the front, and Mike hits the chick hard. He's like, we went to the kiosk. We got our boarding passes, but we couldn't get our bag. Checked things out of it. And she. I think the kiosk is broken. And she goes, wait a minute. Did you go there? You. You went to the boarding pass? You didn't go to the baggage whatever? And he goes, I went to the kiosk. I tried to get out the boarding pass. The boarding pass didn't come out. The thing's broken. And she goes, no, no, no. You went to the boarding pass printout. You did not. That line is where. And then, like out of a movie, an angel. An angel of a woman standing four feet away goes, yeah, that happened to us, too. Well, first off, Mike's making all this shit up. It definitely didn't happen to you. She was. She was checking her back.
Jason Mayhem Miller
She's on the grip. She's doing the thing.
Adam Carolla
She's on the grip. She goes, that's all you needed? All I needed. She goes, a backup. She goes, I didn't know if she knew what we were talking about. She goes, that happened to us, too. And Mike goes, you're shaking. Do you see? And the woman behind the counter is like, okay, I know what just happened.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I'm not going to call you a liar, but you're an idiot. You went to the wrong one. No, there's no baggage. One that comes out of that one. And at some point, Mike had done an impressive enough job with a straight face and a little indignation along with. In a hurry, where she just went, okay, just put the bag on the thing. Get out of here.
Jillian Michaels
That's a delicate dance, by the way.
Jason Mayhem Miller
That's a good win.
Jillian Michaels
Because when you get into the. Yes, it is. No, it isn't. That. They'll remove you from the airport. I mean, that is a fine needle to thread.
Adam Carolla
You dance the jig.
Jillian Michaels
Yeah, man. You got to start out heavy. Charm.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
And then it's like charm with a little confusion. And then they tell you they start to push back. Then you got to get a little.
Adam Carolla
More aggressive, and you gotta. You gotta. You gotta be on the offense. Mike's like, your kiosk is broken over there. Cause we got the boarding passes, but we didn't get the baggage claim stuff from there. We only got the board. And she was like, well, that's because you were at the wrong kiosk. Yeah. He goes, no, it's the right kiosk. We Just. It wouldn't print out the.
Jillian Michaels
I'm impressed.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he's poker face. Straight. You know, a lot of conviction stuff, too.
Jillian Michaels
You have to have a little bit.
Adam Carolla
Of sociology with that lady who just screamed. That happened to us, too.
Jillian Michaels
So you got some divine intervention.
Adam Carolla
That's what we need. We just needed her little paprika on top just to put us. Angel over the. Yeah, yeah. Con angel. Just to put us over the top.
Jillian Michaels
That ain't easy. I thought you were gonna lose there for a second. When she called bullshit on him, we were fucked, and you're going to jail.
Adam Carolla
We were teetering because she was about to say, you got to get in that line if you want. First off, they did this to themselves because they opened up a window that said help line. Like, help. Which that's all Mike needed. He just needed just quarter inch of daylight to push his foot in there, you know, because we weren't Priority plus and we weren't whatever. But the help thing, that's. Now Mike's showing up. Mike's showing up confused. You know? I mean, like, I went to the kiosk, I couldn't get the. Meanwhile, there's 200 people in line. He had to walk through all those people to get to the help thing. And you're also. People have a thing where they're sort of a Kenny Rogers hold up, fold up. You know what I mean? Like, at a certain point, they just go, yeah, okay. Get on the. Like, I. I don't. They don't pay me enough to just stand here and argue with you over. I don't. But ultimately, I'm going. I'm. I'm on break in 20 minutes. Let's just trying to wear them down. Just trying to just. Just go. You know what I mean? Like, they really have to dig in. But that was powerful. That was a great performance, and I was glad I was there for it.
Jillian Michaels
I'm amazed.
Adam Carolla
I was like the boom mic guy in a set, you know, in a Meryl Streep movie, just with tears rolling down my cheeks.
Jillian Michaels
See, I would have been like this.
Adam Carolla
This is powerful.
Jillian Michaels
Adam Carolla. That's what I would have done.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. The problem is they don't think anybody. You've heard of flies Southwest, so they don't. They know it's Southwest. So then here's a scam. Are you ready for a scam?
Jason Mayhem Miller
I'm into it.
Adam Carolla
Mike goes.
Jillian Michaels
They live in California.
Adam Carolla
Mike goes. I was checking in when he was getting our boarding passes, and they had a box that you could hit. Oh, this is why Mike is super scary. They had a box you could hit that said priority baggage pass, meaning Southwest knows it's an hour and a half. Wait. Southwest knows you're not making it with your bag on this flight. But for $219, oh, yes, you can hit priority baggage, and then the thing comes out, and then you go to the priority lane next to. Now Mike's like, instead of 219, how about free bitch? And I just go act stupid in the lane right next to the priority lane. But what they do is they go, look, we know what we're doing. It's an hour before the flight. You're standing here. If you got a bag to check, you ain't getting it on this flight. But for 219, we'll get it on this flight. Now, that thing's got to be either 0 or 5 bucks or 10 bucks when there's nobody in the other line. Then why would anyone ever pay 219 to check?
Jillian Michaels
But that's rarified air spending 219 extra.
Adam Carolla
That is some priority gouging there. Because they calculated you're not making it all, and that's right.
Jillian Michaels
Actually, that is crazy.
Adam Carolla
It's diabolical. And by the way, if I was standing next to Mike, I would have said, Pay the 219. And then he would have went, I don't pay for 200. And I go, yeah, but what's our alternative? We're not getting the bag onto this flight. But he did it. And then he went in there with this full Bradley Cooper esque performance. And it worked. You know what I mean? He knew he had jumped.
Jillian Michaels
I'm so impressed.
Adam Carolla
I am, too.
Jillian Michaels
Yeah, well, and if they're gonna con you for 219, that's justification right there to hit that help desk.
Adam Carolla
They know they have you by the short hairs, because who the hell would ever pay 219 to check a bag? Under normal circumstances, it has to be either you pay 219 or you go out and trash his bag under duress.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Under duress compared to 219.
Jillian Michaels
I wonder how much research went into that. Like, how much do you think their luggage is worth? Well, like, it's gotta be a little more than 219. The flight change. That'll be costly for them. Well, you know, like, they had to. What if they have to stay overnight? Ooh, don't get too aggressive. That would put us at 450.
Adam Carolla
Well, also, you gotta go 219, because if you go 225, you weren't thinking about it. 219 acts like it's based on something. You know, it's specific. I don't know what they call that. Do they call that priority bag check or something? Like someone's got to look it up? But they get it. I mean, they get the junk fee part of it, but they also get the. You know, people always talk about gouging. You know, I was actually talking to attorney Mark Ergos about this, you know, sort of price gouging, you know, and it's like you go to the Dodger game And they went, 19 bucks for a beer. Is that. Was that gouging? I think it's gouging because it's about 50 cents. The beer comes in a keg. It's Miller Lite. And a keg does like 104 servings, and a keg is like 42 bucks. So three beers and you're back to even. And now you got another hundred beers to serve. Like, yes, that is price gouging. But do you want a beer? Do you have to have a beer? You know what I mean? Like, we do that everywhere for everything. I mean, you go to pebble beach, and you go there during the off season. You get a Hotel for 200 bucks. You go there during car week, and it's 1400 bucks for the same room. What are they doing? I don't know. They're getting what the market will allow them to get. And once again, you do not have to have a beer at the stadium, and you do not have to go to pebble beach for car week. You don't have to.
Jillian Michaels
But if you're intentionally fucking with things so people don't have adequate time, a reasonable amount of time that people have acclimated to over their entire life, about an hour and a half early, two hours for international flights. You're rigging the game. That's a different answer.
Adam Carolla
The problem is they always the ticket or whatever sale go get there two hours early or whatever, but no one ever does. We got there in time to check a bag if there was no line. But now there's a big, long line. And it probably says on the ticket, arrive an hour before that in case there's something. But we don't listen.
Jillian Michaels
Dance with the devil a little bit.
Adam Carolla
We dance, but I got the devil on my side. I got Mike August, master thespian.
Jillian Michaels
I like it. See, I always have the credit card. You know, it's like the Delta card, the American card. I'm like, I got the credit card. When you have the credit card, you can Board first, you know?
Adam Carolla
Let me ask you about boarding. Tell me what you think. There's an emotional thing that I engage in when I fly southwest. So I've talked about this before, but I have a. I'm gonna liken it to something, and I think I'm gonna. It's gonna make sense, but feel free to disagree.
Jillian Michaels
Okay, dig in here.
Adam Carolla
Leaving Burbank, 27, A group, group A 27. And what they do is they go, group A, 1 through 30 is boarding now. And then at some point, they turn that thing around and they go, group A, 30 through 50 now. And then group B start lining up right now. I'm like, I have a ticket that has a number on it. I'm not sure why I have to start lining up. I'm not sure why I need. And people will needlessly stand in line for 25 minutes. They'll just stand there like, what number are you? I'm 17. All right, I'm 22. So I'm behind. I'm four behind you, whatever that is. Now what I do is I just sit there in the lounge. And then at some point, when I got 27, and they don't yell out the number, but getting to the end of the 27, the 30, I just slide in, and I'll say to the person, well, what do you got? And they'll go. They'll go 25. They'll go 30. You know, whatever it is, I'll go, oh, you got 25? Yeah, go ahead. And then I'll slide in behind them with my 27. I like that. They don't like it. No, they don't like it because they've been waiting in line like sheep, but they've been waiting in line the whole time for a thing that doesn't really require a line. Even though they tell you to line up, but they wait in line. And I don't take any extra time. There's not a conversation. I just slide in with my ticket that's one lower than them. But they don't like it because they're line waiters. And I don't see why I have to stand an inch forward with the luggage. I'll just sit in one of these comfortable lounge chairs. So here's the analogy. If this same person that has a little righteous indignation about me stepping in front of them after they were waiting in line for 15 minutes, even though I have a low number than them, let's just say we're not at Burbank Airport. Let's say we're at a bakery, and I pulled a ticket, and then I went and sat down at the bakery, and these guys lined up at the counter. And then the guy went, anything lower than 30 or whatever, and I just walked up. Would that piss the guy off? I don't think so. I don't think so. So what? What's the difference between the bakery and Burbank Airport?
Jillian Michaels
Well, you got a lower number than you.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
You've outsmarted everybody in line.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
No airport is a place for communal suffering. We all have to suffer. You with your lounge act over there, kicking back with your heels in there on top of your suitcase.
Adam Carolla
Just roll in the world. Not a care.
Jillian Michaels
They just reflected back.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
Their incompetence.
Adam Carolla
Did I shame them by making them look like suckers for standing in line for 20 minutes.
Jillian Michaels
I mean, I just did that to get here. Actually, the line, you know, the 101, splits off with the 5 or whatever it is, and the two lanes are miserable. You just ride that 101 sail right past everybody, and sure enough, there'll be a break right as the freeway splits. I'm like, boop.
Adam Carolla
Every time.
Jillian Michaels
Nobody says, you cannot drive on the 101 side. I mean, it's still one freeway up until the fork split, you know, and then you're.
Adam Carolla
I'm gone, man.
Jillian Michaels
I just hit the gas. Bam, I'm out.
Adam Carolla
Los Angeles, you gotta wedge in. I agree. I just came up with a great app.
Jillian Michaels
Oh.
Adam Carolla
It's called Send that guy text. You just get his license plate number. Send him a rando text. All of a sudden, he slows down, starts looking at his phone. You slide right in.
Jillian Michaels
That's genius.
Adam Carolla
Slide right in.
Jillian Michaels
That's genius.
Adam Carolla
That's two car lengths worth of tax.
Jillian Michaels
Because you know what I would say? 1 out of every 10 times, I don't get the gap.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
And then you gotta sit there in the traffic that's flying.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
And risk your life because someone's gonna get pissed and shoot you for holding up the other side.
Adam Carolla
The way to deal with the non gap is do the premature thank you hand wave. Once you give the premature. Like, the guy's like, hey, bitch, I wasn't letting you in. I don't know why you're thanking me, but once you thank them, they have to go, okay, so you have to shove in a premature thank you way. Yeah. Mike taught me that. Gosh, no, he didn't.
Jillian Michaels
I was like, is Mike gonna write a book? Holy cow, this guy's awesome.
Adam Carolla
Well, I can make fun of Mike. As well, though, because, you know, he's not all perfect.
Jillian Michaels
Oh, no. What did he do?
Adam Carolla
He had. God. Let's see. Okay, okay, so here's comedy. So Mike said, why don't we get to Salt Lake City a day early and we'll run your clean dry bar set at the Wise Guys in Salt Lake before we go to Provo and do your clean dry bar set. Which is what I did. It's all clean comedy special because clean material is hard to come by and it's tough.
Jillian Michaels
I think I may have dropped the F bomb then one too many times. I didn't.
Adam Carolla
That's all right. You're a passionate woman. You're passionate.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We appreciate you.
Adam Carolla
Respect that.
Jillian Michaels
I'm gonna wrap it up.
Adam Carolla
It's hard. It's hard to be clean. It's not about F bomb. It is, but it's about themes. You know, themes get a little. I got you a little dicey. So he says, why don't we swing by Wise Guys in Salt Lake City? We'll get there dare they can run your set before whoever's headlining at Wise Guys. And I said, okay, so I'll just come in and do like a half hour, maybe 25 minutes before they hit the stage for the cause. There's a headliner. I'm not the headliner. I'm just popping in, right? So I go, all right, who's the headliner? And he goes, I don't know. You don't know him. I go, oh, okay. So I'm trying to figure it out because I'm doing a G rated, very clean half hour, and this is Friday night nightclub crowd, you know, and I gotta go up there with my, you know, G rated stuff. So I don't know if that's gonna work nicely with the nightclub crowd, the raucous crowd, Right? But, you know, if it's Nate Bargazzi, then he's clean, you know, so it would work out.
Jillian Michaels
His kid and his wife.
Adam Carolla
I was like, all right, yeah, wholesome. That would work. That would work. So we're coming up to the day, and I'd like to like, who's headlining this club, Mike? Because somebody is headlining and I'm going in front of them, and I'm just curious what the crowd's gonna be like, who's come out to see this guy? And Mike just goes, yeah, yeah, I don't know him. You don't know him. I go, okay, all right. I will concede that there's lots of comedians and I don't know their names and Whatever. So fine.
Jillian Michaels
So are you running guesses in your. I'm like Andrew Dice Clay.
Adam Carolla
I stopped thinking about it. I just assume it's somebody I don't know which. It happens. And then we go. We land at the club. We land. You know, we get to the club, we walk through the club, we go into the green room. I open the door, and Louis J. Gomez from Legion of Stanks is just standing there.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The dirtiest dude. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I was trying to think of, like, who's the most filthy that I could come up with. It's pretty filthy. Yeah. That whole crew. Now, Louis is a. It's a name, you know, Legion Skanks is a name and I've been asked to do that. I've done this podcast or whatever. So I go, I go, louis, what are you doing here? You doing a drop in set too or something? He goes, no, I'm headlining this weekend. Mike, why don't you just say, okay, he's the dirtiest comedian working. And now I'm gonna go with this clean stuff. But, Mike, why don't you just tell me? Louis J. Gomez was the headliner. And he goes, I don't know if you know him.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He assumed he didn't.
Adam Carolla
We could find out.
Jillian Michaels
He set you up.
Adam Carolla
He's like, I didn't think you knew him. I said, big J, the Legion skank guy was in here two days ago. I've done their podcast. Byron worked for these guys.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
They try to get me to do Legion Skank Fest every year. Why wouldn't I know this? I don't know. I don't know. Genome. I go, okay, let's not put this back on me. You could have just said, louis J. Gomez is there. That would have been. And then. And then I could have went, who's that? But I wouldn't have, because I'd go, oh, that guy. Super dirty comedian. So this is going to be interesting now if I'm going to go open for him with this G rated material.
Jason Mayhem Miller
So was it.
Jillian Michaels
There you go.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. What the hell? It was all right. It was as you would expect it to go with the crowd who paid money to see Luis J. Gomez perform, did not want, you know, Mr. Rogers coming in there with the comedy. But it was okay. And it was. And I was like, mike. Anyway, when we drove from Salt Lake City back to Prova that night, I said, one more time, Mike, I don't get. Why didn't you tell me? Ludy, I didn't know if you knew who he was.
Jillian Michaels
This reminds me of a Conversation that I would have with my 14 year old.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Jillian Michaels
Like, there's no thought beyond I didn't know. Not. Let me research and inform you. Let me see if, you know, it literally reminds me. And the child has no frontal lobe.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
They don't supposedly until at least 25. This is what that reminds me of is every conversation I have with my 40 year old.
Adam Carolla
I know. You just keep getting in a. Going in a circle. Right.
Jillian Michaels
Like, what's the next thought that we would have after this one? It's just. Yeah, it stops there.
Adam Carolla
Mike's front lack of frontal lobe thought was. Mike, for some reason, didn't know who Lewis was. I don't know why, but he did not know. And in his world, if he didn't know, how was I gonna know? Except for it's highly possible that I know who he is because I've done everyone's podcast. Okay. Here's what I'll file it under. Couldn't hurt. You can just go, who's headlining? You don't know the guy, but he goes by Louis J. Gomez. And then I'd go, the super filthy guy from Legion of Skanks? And they go, I don't know. And I go, it is that guy.
Jillian Michaels
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So now I'm a little worried because I'm going in, trying to clean stuff out.
Jillian Michaels
But in the event you both didn't know, there is always the Google machine.
Adam Carolla
Boom. This is my fault. This is my fault. I should have looked. There's so many young, like, made it on Twitter, Facebook, whatever, Instagram, Y Comedians that are like 23 and sell out clubs and no one's ever heard of them just because they have a TikTok account or whatever that I just go, okay. When he was like, you don't know the guy. I was like, all right, Some local guy who's Salt Lake Bomb. All right, should we take a break? We got news. We got much to get into with Jillian. I got some vax stuff to get into.
Jillian Michaels
I'm ready.
Adam Carolla
I got fire stuff to get into.
Jillian Michaels
Can't wait.
Adam Carolla
RFK Jr. Let's do it. All right, quick break. Be right back after this. Home Chef drowning in a sea of meal kit options. It's like a bad date and game show, and all the contestants look the same. That's where Home Chef comes in. Fresh ingredients and Chef design recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Over 30 options a week covering a variety of dietary needs. And the one I tried recently, which was great, which was urban crusted salmon with garlicky zucchini. That's right. It's garlicky. I don't know if they made that word up, but that's what it's called. And peppers. And it was real good. And you do save money as well. Save an average of 86 bucks per month on groceries. That's right. Because go to the grocery store, man, you don't get out of there for under 300 bucks. These days, Home Chef even has a delicious kid friendly menu with 18 new options each week. For picky eaters, it is approved. It is the best meal deal on the planet earth. Am I right, Dawson? For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 18 free meals plus free dessert for life and of course, free shipping on your first box. Just go to homechef.com Adam that's homechef.com Adam for 18 free meals and free dessert for life. You heard that right. HomeChef.com Adam must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. Homes.com knows that when it comes to home shopping, it's never just about the house or condo. It's about the home. And what makes a home is more than just a house or property. It's the location. It's the neighborhood. If you have kids, it's also schools, nearby, parks, transportation options, all the above. That's why homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth information they need to find the right home. And when I say in depth, I'm talking about deep. That's right. Each listing features comprehensive information about the neighborhood, complete with a video guide. They also have details about local schools with test scores, state rankings and student to teacher ratio. They even have an agent directory with the sales history of each agent. So when it comes to finding a home, not just a house, this is everything you need to know all in one place. Homes.com homes.com we've done your homework. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Betonline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting in 2025. Whether you're a seasoned fan or a first time better, Betonline is your ultimate game day companion with the largest selection of odds on everything from NBA college basketball. Exclusive in game live betting. Betonline is your ultimate game day companion. And if you like the NHL, you like a little hockey or the UFC if that's your thing, Betonline is your number one sports betting source. From every three pointer to every hat trick, Betonline has you covered with the odds, stats and More for every single game, every play and every win. It is betonline. The game starts here. Here's an actual thing. Our government is spending your tax money on $21 million for voter turnout in India. Now back to the Adam Carolla show. Jillian Michaels, our favorite in studios got a podcast out, Keeping it Real with Jillian Michaels. Also a fitness app, taking the world by storm. Jillian Michaels is where you can go for the fitness app. Good to talk to you.
Jillian Michaels
Good to talk to you.
Adam Carolla
So stuff, yeah, stuff for you.
Jillian Michaels
Let's go.
Adam Carolla
A lot of vax stuff has been coming out. I never took a very strong stance one way or the other. I was very much, if you need it, you should get it. My 14 year old son doesn't need it, so he shouldn't have to get it. I don't really need it. I know many who don't need it, but I have elderly parents who should get it. And it was a pretty simple equation for me. Like within my own immediate family, I had a son and a daughter, 14, fit, thin and healthy. And I said I do not want them to get vaccinated because. And I think people do it like, well, how could it hurt? Well, listen, I wouldn't want them to get a vaccination or get any procedure for anything that was unnecessary. So no unnecessary for those two elderly parents? Yes. Probably a better reason they should get it, the vaccination than the kids. And then I moved forward and that was about it. And then you became an anti vaxxer and you were called a heretic and you're killing grandma or something version of that. And people got very animated by it. And now it turns out that there's studies, right? And lo and behold, as everyone's sitting down, turns out that may be bad for you. And all I said, I said was very early on I said, people are gonna wish they didn't get this vaccination. Now my parents are dead, so I don't know if they wish they got it or wish they didn't. But when, you know, my mom died 18 months into Covid. Not of COVID just she died of old age 18 months in. And my dad died probably three or four years into Covid or after Covid, not by Covid, but when you're collectively 88 and 91, then yeah, go ahead and roll the dice on a vaccine that may or may not work. But when you're 14 now that may stick with you for a while. So that's how I came down. Do you guys, oh, you know, we need to Find too that cow Sotomayor, Supreme Court justice. Remember, she was up there making an argument that everyone needed to be vaccinated because there were kids on ventilators. Like, first off, can we circle back and rub some of this in these faces?
Jillian Michaels
Not working. I mean, you saw Burks just come out and say, actually, we. You know, we should have followed the science and kids didn't need this. I would. Did you not see this?
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Jillian Michaels
Like, Dave Smith was furious. He came out and he's like, somebody needs to pay for this.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
And it.
Adam Carolla
I was talking to Mike August about it, and he's like, who's Dave Smith? But I get it. He was a legion of gang Smith.
Jillian Michaels
Nobody. Some local guy in Salt Lake, I think.
Adam Carolla
Nobody. No. These people lied to our faces trying to get our kids an experimental vaccine, and nobody's accountable. Here's Sotomayor, by the way, when they went to the Supreme Court. And thank God. And by the way, to you assholes that are always like, the Supreme Court is weaponized. Well, thank God the Supreme Court leans right or we'd all be vaccinated, or we couldn't have gone back to our work according to the left side of the Supreme Court, that's what they wanted. But here's Sotomayor, I guess we have over 100,000 children, which we've never had before, in serious condition, and many on ventilators. Yeah, listen, dumb cow. None of that's true.
Jillian Michaels
Yep.
Adam Carolla
Jesus Christ.
Jillian Michaels
None of it.
Adam Carolla
So is that she's breaking ground. Yes. She's the dumbest Hispanic ever to be on the Supreme Court. Yes. She's a groundbreaker. She's a fucking idiot. And she's dangerous. She wanted every one of your kids to be vaxxed. Forced vaxxed. You understand? And I was. And so weren't they, though.
Jillian Michaels
I mean, I had to vaccinate my kids for them to go to school.
Adam Carolla
You idiots. Listen, couple things. You forced kids to do something that was unhealthy for their body, and then you also fucked their mind up by locking them out of school for a year and a half. But other than that, you love the kids. Okay? Here's all I'm saying. Maybe when the next whatever comes down the pike, maybe you sit the next one out, maybe you don't weigh in, maybe you don't get your crystal ball out and tell us what's gonna happen on the next one. Or maybe don't argue with me when I tell you what's happening.
Jillian Michaels
There's. There's two elements to this One is Burks, the evangelical doctor, who, by the way, Drew taught me so much about her on a podcast. She knew, they knew. She just admitted, I believe it was on Piers Morgan, that they knew kids did not need this vaccine and said, I wished we'd followed the science, something to that effect. So there are individuals that, in fact, did know kids did not need this. Now there are a separate group of individuals, I'm assuming, like Sotomayor, who thought that they knew and bought the rhetoric without doing any homework and went forward, shamed everybody and said, you've got to do this because Fauci says so, or whoever Burke says so, so they must be right. I see this all the time with a million different things, though. Very educated, intelligent people that form complete opinions and know absolutely nothing about which they speak all the time.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, especially in your industry. I mean, diet wise, you have kooks coming out of woodwork. But, yes, no, I completely agree. You know, nothing the time. Just humble yourself and shut the fuck up. And also use a little kind of horse sense, you know, Like, I just looked around my neighborhood. We had tons and tons of kids. No one was ever sick. No one perished. No one was on a ventilator. So I was like, I've looked around. I've done my own survey.
Jillian Michaels
Well, their argument was, they'll give it to the grandma. It's like, well, how, though? If it's a vaccine, didn't you say it would prevent transmission? I mean, we've all seen that clip of Rachel Maddow. It stops with you.
Adam Carolla
Oh, we said we saw it with Rochelle Walensky. Lying. Okay? They all lied about it. Fine. Now it's injurious for some people. Thank you very much. I just, I don't know. Find a mirror and stare into it, you fucking retards. But I hearken back to this clip, and I don't know if there's a date on this clip, but it's a couple of women. I just stumbled into msnbc. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Oh, God.
Jillian Michaels
Why would you do such a horrible thing? Thing?
Adam Carolla
Well, I'll tell you why.
Jillian Michaels
Stumble. Ooh.
Adam Carolla
No, no, I. You can find out a lot about what's going on by, like, watching how people you disagree with articulate their. Their disagreements, you know, and on a rare occasion, you'll go, oh, okay, I never thought of it that way. But mostly it's just to steel man yourself. Yes, yes. And. And this was probably 2022, maybe 2021. This is when they started making the push to try to get Everyone vaccinated all the time. And they ran this segment on MSNBC which was a nonsensical segment. It was two black women. One of them was a doctor and she had long flowing hair, kind of Angelina Jolie esque hair. And the other had a natural sort of Florida from good times kind of fro, you know. And the whole story of the whole segment was how dangerous hair relaxer was to women of color. And the doctor who's explaining that it was very dangerous for women of color to use this hair relaxer because it had all these chemicals in it, had the hair going down to her lap.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, my God.
Adam Carolla
And then the other one who was tell me more doctor had natural and did not use the hair relaxer.
Jillian Michaels
Got it.
Adam Carolla
So we're already off to a dubious start. Yeah, for me. Read the headline and tell me what you see. Jillian Michaels.
Jillian Michaels
Parabens have a greater impact on black women's risk of breast cancer than white women.
Adam Carolla
And the woman who's the doctor expert with the stethoscope around her chin looks like who or has hair of what?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Very relaxed hair.
Adam Carolla
And the one who's like, tell me more about these dangers is full fro. Right?
Jillian Michaels
This is true. This is true.
Adam Carolla
This isn't bizarre. I mean, it'd be like talking about lung cancer and the doctor was smoking the whole time. But okay, I got past this.
Jillian Michaels
Okay, you did. Because that would be where I check back out. Nothing new going on over here.
Adam Carolla
This is why I was very intrigued. Gosh, you dug in by these two. I'm still watching the segment which was presented as black women's and parabens and hair relaxer was actually two and a half minutes of hair relaxer talk. And then three and a half minutes of why you needed to get your toddler vaccinated, which I thought, I remember sitting back going, what the fuck is going on here? By the way. First off, this is served up as hair relaxing conversation and now goes into get your toddler vaccinated. And that wasn't an afterthought at the end of the segment. That was the majority. The lion's share of this segment was discussion about getting your young toddler or infant vaccinated with an experimental vaccination that did them no good. From the same doctor who was just telling you to stop using a flat iron on your head. But we'll hear. We'll hear how they get into it. Well, you know what, do me a favor. Show me the beginning of the original segment because that's what this was presented as. And if this doesn't say diabolical in bed with Big Phar, I don't know what is. Because they literally started off by just talking about hair for adults, and then they just went right into vaccinating care. But here's the top. Here's how it started.
Jillian Michaels
All right. Concerning. Results are being reported from a new study showing that chemicals found in black hair care and cosmetic products have a greater impact on black women's risk of breast cancer. The study found that chemicals called parabens are responsible for the increased risk in black women, but the same results weren't seen in white women. The parabens also promoted the spread of breast cancer cells in the body with a bigger effect in black patients. Joining me now to discuss MSNBC medical contributor Dr. Ebony Hilton processing her hair unfamiliar with before this study. Because, you know, often if you're like on the Sephora website, it will know.
Adam Carolla
All right, this is, this is the beginning of the segment.
Jillian Michaels
I have so much to say.
Adam Carolla
But then it goes right into. We'll give you the other segments. I broke into two pieces. Goes right into this. And this is a longer chunk of the section. So I don't think it is. It's presented as this, but it's not this. So we'll listen to this and let's see how crazy this sounds in 2025.
Jillian Michaels
Okay, let's turn to the topic of COVID On Tuesday, President Biden announced vaccines are now available for kids under the age of five. I know lot of parents out there have been waiting forever for this announcement. What do you want to tell them about vaccinating their children under five and how important that is?
D
Right. For one, I would hope they see that it did take a long time before this was rolled out because first safety had to be verified. And that is, that is most important. The second thing I want them to know is oftentimes this was stated early on that kids are protected. But what we know is that six times the number of kids died from COVID than the flu this past year.
Adam Carolla
Right.
D
We had 600 children who are no longer with us from 2021 because of COVID 19, a method that you can use to help protect your child from being hospitalized and keep them alive to see next year. And there's the saying, you know, if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready. Keep your kids vaccinated, make sure they're wearing those masks and practice those same mitigating factors that we've been doing now for two and a half years.
Adam Carolla
Okay? Everything's a lie. Masks don't work. Vaxes are bad for your kids. Don't need it. Mitigating factors. Oh, gotta wipe down the Amazon box with Clorox before you bring it in. This bitch is wrong about everything. Everything. Jillian's making faces.
Jillian Michaels
Okay, first of all, you already said it. It's by design. It's a big pharma plant. We know for a fact that big pharma pays at least 70% of these networks advertising budgets. So they. They effectively buy the narrative. Then you add the trusted news initiative. Are you familiar with that?
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Jillian Michaels
Okay, so essentially. So I had Senator Johnson on my podcast, who five years ago, I would have thought was the devil. Now I'm like, oh, this guy's like the great white hope. So they came up with the Trusted news initiative to essentially script out the messaging points for the COVID vaccine. And those are those clips of all the different news anchors saying the exact same thing.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Jillian Michaels
Go, go.
Adam Carolla
Well, there's more. There's more if you want to keep wincing, but we'll play it out. But also, it has to be premeditated. You know, I'm gonna talk to the doctor about relaxing her hair for five seconds and then. Oh, as long as we got you. What about COVID And then she goes into a diatribe about why you need to get your. Your kids under 5 vaccinated. But keep going. She's got some doozies.
D
Get ready. Keep your kids vaccinated. Make sure they're wearing those masks, and practice those same mitigating factors that we've been doing now for two and a half years. What we do know is that COVID 19 is linked to a number of different disease processes that we can already trace. You know, they say, well, you can't tell the long term consequence to the vaccine. Well, yes, we can. In this acute time. We've now been. I've got my vaccine back in December 2020, right? I was the first person at the University of Virginia. We've now been able to track persons like me to see what has happened, has anything changed. But what we also know is that we're tracking people who have COVID 19, children and adults alike. And what we know is that one in every five persons who've been infected with COVID 19 now has a lingering disability where their organs, their heart, their lungs, their kidneys, their brain is no longer functioning in the same way.
Adam Carolla
One in five. So 20% of people who got Covid, which is everybody, their organs are compromised. 20%, which would be Millions of Americans. And forget about worldwide.
Jillian Michaels
I don't even know how to respond to this. It's just bullshit. It'd be like if you told me the earth was flatter. Chemtrails are real.
Adam Carolla
But all I'm saying is whether Sanjay gooped talking about horse pace or this bitch talking about your organs. Can we stop listening to these people?
Jillian Michaels
Haven't we though? I don't.
Adam Carolla
I guess they're compromised. She's compromised. She's a fucking stooge. Sanjay Gupta is a stooge. Why we listening? They should have no careers. It should be over. Shouldn't let them anywhere near your kid.
Jillian Michaels
Most people have stopped listening though, and they are turning to alternative media without question.
Adam Carolla
But they want to know what's going on. We're going to alternate. Why not trust us? Why not trust the journalists? Why not trust these two bitches who've been lying the whole time?
Jillian Michaels
You know, it's definitely generational. My mom still believes cnn. I literally saw a meme and it said, I went to my mom's house, I used parental controls to shut off her cnn, this is how we save America. And I sent it to my mom and I was like, I love you. Really try to understand why this is going viral. It's the boomers. She's like, are you trying to tell me that the New York Times is bullshit? I'm like, yeah, it's so hard for them to comprehend. It is like the red pill in the matrix. It is just so difficult to believe. This is all by design. And it obviously goes far deeper.
Adam Carolla
Well, there's more. Oh, God, there's even another 55 seconds. The reason it's unthinkable is it's modern times. It's a news network, it's a board certified physician. And they're having this very sober talk about vaccinations. That's all a lie and all wrong. Have you ever there trying to motivate you to do something you shouldn't do.
Jillian Michaels
Have you ever tried to talk to a doctor like that and ask them what MRNA tests is?
Adam Carolla
No, they don't.
Jillian Michaels
They don't know. I, I recently sat down with Dr. Heather Hang, who's a PhD and her husband's Brett Weinstein and they've got a great podcast called Dark Horse Love me Brett Weinstein. And I, I go, heather, just give it to me in layman's terms. What is this? And she goes, it is by no, I'm going to butcher this, but by no previous definition of a vaccine is this a vaccine. So she explained that, that you have a vaccine that has live pathogen like little bits. Then you have vaccines that have dead pathogen with adjuvants like previously mercury, now aluminum. And then she explained that MRNA essentially is a messenger that tells our own cells to produce a part of the virus. In what universe does that sound safe and okay?
Adam Carolla
Oh, I know. And then what? God Forbid, Robert Kennedy Jr. Shows up and they're like this wackadoodle, right? This wackadoodle. These wackadoodles.
Jillian Michaels
Can I say one more thing? Now that you bring him up, did you see in his senate hearing when the black senator, I believe her name was Brooks, attacked him because he had cited research that was very credible out of hero.
Adam Carolla
That was the greatest.
Jillian Michaels
You saw that, right?
Adam Carolla
That was the greatest.
Jillian Michaels
And she goes, goes, are you trying to suggest that I should be on a different vaccine schedule because I'm black? And she was trying to imply that he's like a racist. That was putting people of color's lives in jeopardy. And the research showed that black people have a more robust. It's very credible research, by the way. I reposted the research, but that black people have a more robust immune system. And since we don't know what causes vaccine injuries, should we look into, with gold standard research, whether or not they need less adjuvants or less of the pathogen? Here you have them saying two black women, saying black women are more susceptible to parabens and they're looking out for black women. But when he does it, the implication that he's a kooky racist, it's wild.
Adam Carolla
It's so paper thin just to play the race card everywhere. And yeah, I think we, we can pull that clip. Because I remember where I was, I was in Boca Raton, Florida, and I called Dr. Drew and I was like, can you believe these nut jobs? Also, we're getting back to a sort of process person. Like he is saying that your people, your race, has a more robust immune system, so you probably shouldn't take something that may be harmful. So the answer to that would be, thank you, Dr. Kennedy, not fuck you, racist. I know, but they can't stop it. You can't single out anything.
Jillian Michaels
He didn't make any of it up, though. It's not an opinion. He's citing incredible studies.
Adam Carolla
She's great. She's great. She's everything that's wrong with modern politics. She doesn't know what she's doing. And then people assume it's a DEI thing, like, would she really be there? Is it the first Woman of color. Like we getting into this again. She's a dope. She looks like Sotomayor. Let me just explain something. Mazie Hirono, Sotomayor, that chick, this Dr. Karen Bass. You guys are not doing the movement any favors by putting dumb cows as your front people. You're not helping the cause. You would help the cause. We got really articulate, smart people who are sharp in those positions. But you getting Kamala Harris in that position is not helping your cause. It's hurting your cause.
Jillian Michaels
Isn't that wild?
Adam Carolla
Because now young kids are gonna go, I don't think black women are capable of thinking. I don't go. The sun. It's not black. It's. No, it's just these ones aren't good. Yeah, don't push them forward. All right, we'll play the rest of this just so you can have a seizure.
D
Now. Has a lingering disability where their organs, their heart, their lungs, their kidneys, their brain is no longer functioning in the same way that it was before they got infected with COVID 19. And when you take that developing child whose organs have not come to what it's going to be for the rest of their life, and you stress it out, you put it on that treadmill and say, I want you to sprint, what does that do for the longevity of their life? Not only in the quantity of their life and whether or not they will live a full life as we hope to live, but the quality of their life. Don't want to see that. We don't know what that's going to be for COVID 19. And we don't have to risk it because we have a vaccine.
Jillian Michaels
Can you imagine? So important. We created this in a lab.
Adam Carolla
This is a pure propaganda, particularly unknown to us.
Jillian Michaels
Now, there's definitely.
Adam Carolla
It's a pure propaganda pitch for their sponsors.
Jillian Michaels
Madness. It's madness.
Adam Carolla
Now, Jillian, do you see why you have to watch what the other side is up to?
Jillian Michaels
But you know what, Adam? I. I've seen it. I have seen the clip reels of Maddow lying, but I don't think she's lying. I think she's buying it. The ones who were lying, Fauci, Morens, Burks, they knew.
Adam Carolla
They lied.
Jillian Michaels
They lied. Bill Gates, he knew.
Adam Carolla
Rochelle Walensky, CDC lies.
Jillian Michaels
I mean, they pushed this through the emergency use a little loophole so they didn't have to do the necessary safety testing. And that's why they shut down any conversation about therapeutics. Because if something like Ivermectin worked, you couldn't push through emergency use for these vaccines. And there are obviously billions of dollars.
Adam Carolla
Yep.
Jillian Michaels
In perpetuity.
Adam Carolla
I knew this would fire you up.
Jillian Michaels
It is an embarrassment of riches. It's the gift that never stops giving. 18 shots from six months to 18. A Covid shot every year.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, but I had Merck in my portfolio, so I won.
Jillian Michaels
Right?
Adam Carolla
I did learn something during your diatribe.
Jillian Michaels
Go.
Adam Carolla
You can play. We'll play Senator. Also Brooks, I guess her name is.
Jillian Michaels
Oh, sorry. That's it. Okay.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Well, this is her sounding like an idiot and him saying, well, you do want to follow the science, right? And she's going, nah, I'd rather be offended and be a race victim here. But it's a great exchange. But it is a sort of time capsule. This is what people 100 years from now go. What was 2025 like? I'd say, watch this clip. That's where we were living. Bunch of dumb cows asking stupid questions of people that were smart and then crying race all the time. So what we do is we elect women of color and we put them in these positions, and then when you disagree with them, they cry rapidly. Race. Which is a horrible thing to do as a society. But while you're looking for that, I noticed something. There was the great Gilda Radner used to do a character called Emily Patella. I think it was Emily Patella.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I think I recall this.
Adam Carolla
Gilda Radner. You need to find a little of that because she sounds a lot like Jillian Michaels mom. And we're gonna. Yeah, Emily. Sorry. Emily Lutella, not Patela. Emily Latella. Find a clip of that, and we're gonna match her up against your mom.
Jillian Michaels
My mom is a brilliant woman, but she is a boomer, and they just are not capable of watching the world as they know it melt in front of their faces.
Adam Carolla
We'll play the clip of. Senator, you said the following, and I.
D
Quote, we should not be giving black people the same vaccine schedule that's given to whites because their immune system is better than ours. Can you please explain what you meant?
Adam Carolla
There's a series of studies, I think most of them by Poland, that show that the particular antigens that blacks have a much stronger reaction. There's differences in reaction to different products by different races.
D
So I have 17 seconds left. Let me just ask you then. So what different vaccine schedule would you say I should have received?
Adam Carolla
Narcissist.
Jillian Michaels
Oh, that bitch.
D
What different vaccine schedule should I receive?
Adam Carolla
I mean, the pollen article suggests that blacks need fewer antigens than. So you get the same measles.
D
Is so dangerous.
Jillian Michaels
Your voice would be a voice that.
D
Parents would listen to. That is so dangerous.
Jillian Michaels
I will be voting against your nomination.
D
Because your views are dangerous to our state and to our country.
Jillian Michaels
Are you going to freak out, call.
Adam Carolla
Him a racist, put in a time capsule, explain to people 100 years from now what the we were doing?
Jillian Michaels
But of course, if a black person says that black people are more susceptible to the parabens, then it's like, probably the man put parabens in the product to hurt black people on MSM in MSNBC land. But we have no idea, by the way, what causes vaccine injuries, right? And the reality is that they are rare. Hopefully, Covid is a different animal entirely, but nevertheless, they occur. That's why in 1986, the drug companies went to the Reagan administration and said, listen, we're not going to play around in this, in this pool unless you give us blanket immunity. It's like, well, can't you make it safer? Vaccine injuries are inevitable, and we currently don't know what causes them or why one human is more prone to them than another. Now, as a layman, one would argue, right, they're meant to stimulate an immune response. So. So if a black person has a more robust and healthy immune system and you're giving them too much of a pathogen or an adjuvant, which would be like the mercury, previously mercury, now aluminum, and so on, that they might potentially have a more robust immune response. Like remember the cytokine storm during COVID That was your own immune system going bananas. Is it possible that this could cause vaccine injuries?
Adam Carolla
Study it.
Jillian Michaels
Study it. What is the harm in studying it?
Adam Carolla
There's stuff that Ashkenazi Jews have that others don't have, 100%. And then there's sickle cell, which we don't have. So there's differences. So let's follow the science, bitch. By the way, if somebody accused me of having a robust immune system, a great vertical, and a huge dick, I'd be like, thank you. Thanks, brother. Moving on. Could you put that in writing? Thank you. I would not cry racism. All right, well, Emily Lutella, let's see if your mom. See if your mom could pick up a little of this. Okay, let me see. I bet you could do this.
Jillian Michaels
Let me see what we got.
Adam Carolla
I think you're doing, Emily. Weekend Update recognizes its obligation to present responsible opposing viewpoints to our editorials. Here with an Editorial reply is Ms. Emily Lutella.
Jillian Michaels
What's all this fuss?
Adam Carolla
I keep hearing about violins on television.
Jillian Michaels
Now, why don't parents want their children to see violins on television.
Adam Carolla
Why, I thought the Leonard Bernstein concerts were just lovely.
Jillian Michaels
Now, if they only show violins after.
Adam Carolla
10 o'clock at night, the little babies will all be asleep and they won't.
Jillian Michaels
Learn any music appreciation. Why, they'll end up wanting to play guitar and bongo drums and go to Africa and join these rock and roll outfits. And they won't drink milk.
Adam Carolla
I say there should be more violins.
Jillian Michaels
On television and less game shows. It's time. Horrible the way things work.
Adam Carolla
Ms. Lutella, that was violence on television, not violins. Violence.
Jillian Michaels
Oh, well, that's different.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Never mind. Now think your mom. I think we need to do your mommy a channel. Little Emily, here's the difference.
Jillian Michaels
There would not be a. Never mind.
Adam Carolla
Ah, she knows. My mom would be like, but I'm.
Jillian Michaels
Telling you about the violins, honey.
Adam Carolla
You just.
Jillian Michaels
You gotta keep them on tv. But we're not with the violin thing. She still thinks that Rogan believes in dragons. I'm like, no, no, she saw the View. She's like, that guy you guys love. Because my son and I will always listen to Rogan in the morning on the way to school. And she's like, doesn't he believe in dragons? I'm like, I finally was like, yeah, yeah, he rides one.
Adam Carolla
That's how he gets to work.
Jillian Michaels
Like, it's crazy. They just, they think if it is on a form of legacy media that previously was very esteemed, there's no concept whatsoever that it could be completely captured and corrupted. It's just. It's too hard to unwind.
Adam Carolla
Well, also, you've invested so many years in this thing, and it's kind of. Here's an interesting concept. People kind of say you go, like, oh, you lost a lot of money on this stock or this home or this apartment complex or something. And they go, I only. You only lose the money when you sell. As long as you don't sell. I mean, you could have bought stock for 100 bucks and it's now down to one nickel. But if you don't sell, it's not a recognized loss. You really didn't recognize the loss, and your mom doesn't want to sell. And as long as you don't sell, you don't recognize the loss, even though we all know that was a blue chip stock and now it's a penny stock. But you're not selling because you're hanging on to some belief. But you never really have to take the loss until you sell. It could be anything, could be real estate, but the loss is really, technically, when you sell. And she's not selling.
Jillian Michaels
No, she is not selling. And you can send her information. Like, you could show her that clip and she'll still tell me, well, the vaccine works. I'm like, where are you getting this from? And she'll find an article from 2021.
Adam Carolla
But I think. Pardon me, but I think at the end of the day, it's a kind of a narcissism. Like, are we not willing to entertain the notion that you may have been wrong about some stuff? Because that's kind of what all we're saying is. Let's entertain the thought that you got duped and you picked the wrong horse and that you were wrong about things with her.
Jillian Michaels
It's not that. It's just that I truly believe it is too terrifying for her to really understand what's going on. Like, when you look at. Like, she sent me this one article about the efficacy of the vaccine, and it mentioned the Virality Project. Are you familiar with this?
Adam Carolla
No.
Jillian Michaels
Okay, okay. So Bill Gates funded, through Stanford, something called the Virality Project, which was designed to seek out vaccine hesitancy on the web. That is the brief that went to the Biden administration and directed who, what, and how to censor people online. I had a woman named Brianne Dresden, who wrote a book called Worth a Shot, who was injured during the AstraZeneca trial, educate me about this entire thing. She's suing the Biden administration over it. It. Bill Gates obviously has gazillions invested in the tech and the drug companies. So my mom sees that Bill Gates has funded this, and to her, the article makes him out like he's an angel trying to protect people. And look at this. Look what they've done. He even put together this project to source out vaccine hesitancy to save lives on his own dime. I'm like, mom, like, there's no universe where she can see that this guy is part of the axis of evil, that this was by design, that he's heavily invested in this, that they. This is all gain of function research. No, it's too scary. I'm serious. I really think for her to know that the entire system is rigged, and then when you see him trying to censor people and to go after the First Amendment, if you really believe that your government is trying to do that, it's. I think it's deeply, deeply disturbing. And for her, it's like, no, no, it's. It's got to be for our own good, because it's mentally too much to handle. Other people, I do agree, but the majority, it's like I'm doubling the fuck down. I want men in sports. I want sex changes for 5 year olds. I mean, the Democratic Democrats are fucking bananas. You saw that clip with I'm sorry, I dropped the F bomb again.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The clip with how we like it.
Jillian Michaels
Oh, my God, Trump and the governor of Maine.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
Who's like, no, I'm gonna fight you and I'm gonna see you in court. And boys or whatever she wants, trans girls will play in sports. And Trump is like, you lost, right? Nobody wants it, you fool.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, I'll tell you, I'll tell you there is a thing because I had a real progressive hippie mom first, right? Under the veneer of peace and love is rage, number one. Number two, you cannot defy them. It's just a battle. Everything's about. They just dig in. It's just a battle. They take everything to the grave. You'll never hear words like, you know what, I gotta rethink this one. Or maybe you're right, or I feel differently than I guess everyone else does because I don't feel like they don't do any of that. All there is is outward rage. There's never reflection. Well, breaking news, I think that's been broken. You're constantly scrolling on Facebook, Twitter, x, TikTok. Probably over the news by now. Well, if that sounds like you, I recommend that you listen to the up first podcast from npr. Up first frees you from the all day scroll obsession by telling you everything you need to know in easy 15 minute bites. No BS. They take the biggest news stores of the day and they just break it down into little digestible pieces and you can listen and then be informed. Up First Short format makes it easy to catch up on what's happening while you're getting ready, making breakfast or getting ready to go to work. Either way, you get small little digestible pieces, you get informed, and you're never bored. It's up first by npr. Right, Dawson? Listen now to the up first podcast from NPR. Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Bam. You know the song, right? Learn the business of keeping your car on the road. O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service and all the parts and knowledge you need to maintain and repair your automobile. Always been an O'Reilly guy. Used to go the one out in North Hollywood when I was over there. Then I moved to La Crescenta, went to the one up on Foothill. Still swing by there every once in a while because I'M a hands on guy. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful and best off, they're friendly because some of those auto parts guys can be a little, a little tough around the edges. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or you can visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam SimpliSafe Traditional Security Systems only take action after someone has already broken in. It's too late at that point. I mean, let's face it, they've already broken in. It's got the word broken right in it. I've been using these guys for a million years. So as everyone who works here. And like I said, it's not hardwired so you can pick it up. You know, if you're renting and you move to a new place, take the system with you. Simply Safe. They have active guard, outdoor protection. It changes the game by preventing crime before it happens. If someone's lurking around or acting suspicious, agents see them in real time, talk to them directly, set off your spotlights and even call the police. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. It's around a buck a day for security and peace of mind. You owe it to yourself and you owe it to your family. It's simply safe. Right, Dawson? You can get 50% off your new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring and your first month free@simplisafe.com Adam just head to simplisafe.com Adam to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this year. Keep your home, your family and your peace of mind protected with Simply Safe. There's no safe like Simply Safe. Pluto TV is the place for movie.
Jillian Michaels
Fans like me and TV fans like me.
Adam Carolla
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Jillian Michaels
You can binge laugh out loud sitcoms.
Adam Carolla
Like Frasier and rewatch cult classics like Higher Learning.
Jillian Michaels
Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS or Tracker or curl up with a.
Adam Carolla
Surefire hip like Forrest Gump, Run Forest.
Jillian Michaels
Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows all for free.
Adam Carolla
Pluto TV stream now. Pay never. All right, we got some news, by the way, which Jillian will be equally as animated about.
Jillian Michaels
Oh, gosh.
Jason Mayhem Miller
All right, let's jump right in. In a dramatic shakeup for Los Angeles, Mayor Karen Bass has dismissed Fire Chief Kristen Crowley, citing her inadequate handling of last month's catastrophic wildfires among the most destructive in California's history.
Adam Carolla
I love it when they turn on each other.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, that's great. If Crowley chooses to appeal her filing, she'll need 10 of the city council's 15 members to vote with her to succeed.
Adam Carolla
Well, you know, it's weird because I went to a thing at the Kings games, like the Salute to the Heroes, and it's like, like, look, hanging back and watching your entire state burn to the ground. It's awesome. But I don't know. Hero is more guys rushing into the building at 9 11, not guys who never prepared for a building that was gonna collapse for 10 years. You know what I mean? Which is, hello, everyone. You guys didn't do any of the countermeasures that would have prevented this. And then we had a shit show.
Jason Mayhem Miller
That's the big thing. Bass called out Crowley for sending home 1,000 firefighters the day the fires broke. And Growley's alleged refusal to do an after action report.
Adam Carolla
What I don't get is I was all I heard for two days or three days. Coming in is going to have big wins. Big wins means big fire. And I'm just sitting in my SUV going, all right, well, I hope they must have got the message because I'm getting the message every 20 minutes on the radio.
Jillian Michaels
Right, exactly. Set up a command. Again, I'm sorry, I don't want to take credit for other people's words. So I'm going to say, I don't know if you've seen Mike Shellenberger talk about this, but he's like, they knew on January 2nd that, that we were going to have these crazy wins. Bass leaves, I believe on January 4th. He goes on to talk about the fact that at that point, Newsom should have already reached out to other states, Mexico, Canada. Can we borrow your firefighters? He should have pre positioned people. He should have made sure all the ducks were in a row. There should have been a protocol to evacuate people. None. None of that was done. None of it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
And that's just step one in the long list of screw ups.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. But let's get psychological about it for a second. I have just realized, and any one of us will know how this works. When you have a relationship, there's things that are nuts and bolts and boring with just you and your partner. Like, you go, oh, we should get one of those automatic shutoffs for the gas in case there's an earthquake that shuts and they go, I don't know. You do it. It's not sexy. It's not Interesting. And by the way, they're not going to a cocktail party and going, guess you just got an automatic shut off for the gas line in case there's an earthquake. Like, nobody cares. And it makes sense in that. We'll reverse engineer. I love all the nuts and the bolts, you know what I mean? I love the preparation stuff. I used to do earthquake rehab work. I understand how to rehab a building for earthquakes and I know how stuff works. And I find this stuff interesting. Now what I find not interesting at all is that everyone is free to love in California and we all need to sit at the table. No one's illegal. No child should ever go to bed hungry. I go, yeah, okay, fuck off. That doesn't mean anything. But I will. I do want to get in and reject the carburetors in a race car or something like that. I like the nuts and the bolts. I like that stuff. These people, Karen Bass and Gavin Newsom and many other like minded folks around the country that are in positions of power have expressed zero interest in the nuts and the bolts. They're not. I've heard them talking about gay rights and LGBT community and children and LGBT community and all their euphemistic access to this and that and all their seat at the table and stuff. I've not heard anything about water or volume or aqueducts or whatever, And I'm not. It's not even a knock on them. They're not interested. That's not what they're interested in. What they want is to sit and talk about feelings and about inclusion and equity and all this stuff, which is fine, but don't expect them to be Johnny on the spot when the shit goes down. Because they're not. Because they're not interested in it. She wanted to go to Ghana, right? To do a photo. Now look, if someone said to me, let's again, reverse engineer, okay, Mayor Adam. Yeah. I want you to go to Ghana for what you got. Put on a ceremonial headdress and we're gonna take pictures of you pretending to dance with folks from Ghana. I'd go, that sounds fucking miserable. And they go, yeah, but we'll get some pictures. I don't want you to take pictures. What am I gonna do? You're gonna go there, you're gonna meet the mayor of Ghana. They're gonna present you with a ceremonial headdress, then you put it on, Then we shoot B roll of you dancing with kids. I go, I go, let's go fuck with the aqueducts. I don't want to do that. And they go, well, you're going to Ghana. I go, how long's the flight? They go, well, 26 hours. To do what? To take pictures with a ceremonial headdress on, dancing with the mayor of Ghana, and then a bunch of village kids. And I'd go, well, that sounds miserable and doesn't feel like it would do anything. And I'm not interested now. I'm not. Now my mom would be horribly interested in it. She would love it. And if I told her. Or we're gonna cancel a trip to Ghana and we're gonna do a field trip up to the aqueducts to check the cracks and to see why they're not at capacity, my mom would go, fuck that. I'm going to Ghana, because she has no interest in that. And by the way, I know tons of women who would just be like, I don't want to look at aqueducts, I want to go to Ghana. Most women I know would do that. So we just elected someone who thought it'd be cooler to do that than to hang out here and talk about clearing the brush. And now we got a bunch of those people. California has Gavin Newsom, Right. He's very Ghana bound. That's what he's thinking about, is that.
Jillian Michaels
He'S thinking of White House.
Adam Carolla
He gives speeches and he talks about nothing other than coming to California and being free to love.
Jillian Michaels
Yes.
Adam Carolla
So he doesn't get into like, look, we're building. The bullet train is going to cost this much per mile for this train. Here's what we're behind, but here's what they built in Tokyo. Cost this much, a mile, we should be able to get. No, no, it's just good vibes. Good vibes. Good vibes. So why would the outcome be any different than everything just being burnt to the ground?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yes.
Jillian Michaels
I think you're being too kind. And the reason I think you're being too kind is because we know the. This is an issue. This has happened numerous times before your house burnt down. 2018, by the way, the one I sold in 21 when I moved to Miami? Gone. So the two homes I owned in Malibu within five years, both destroyed, so. Okay.
Adam Carolla
By the way, remember when I lent you that cordless drill and you're like, I'm going to give it back to you, Adam. You did. And then the house burnt down.
Jillian Michaels
Did you hear me?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You don't remember that?
Adam Carolla
He's been.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He's been sore about it this whole time. When they said you were coming in, he was like, oh, my drill Shut the up.
Adam Carolla
It was a Milwaukee 19 volt. No way. Spare battery.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He keeps mentioning.
Jillian Michaels
I didn't take the drill.
Adam Carolla
It's gone.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's gone.
Adam Carolla
You don't have to buy me new ones.
Jillian Michaels
I do have an Alzheimer's gene. I have an Apoe 4G out of a grill.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We'll let you off to the.
Jillian Michaels
Did I take this drill?
Adam Carolla
There's a Home Depot right up the street. If you got the drill, I lent it to you. You said, I promise to have it back. Then the fire came and.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And my lawnmower.
Jillian Michaels
No fun shot.
Adam Carolla
I took the. No, I don't have a drill anymore.
Jillian Michaels
All right, get out.
Adam Carolla
All right, I'll do hold. I'll do stuff by hand. Wait. Come on.
Jillian Michaels
I'm saying that this Y will send you a gold drill. I swear to God. I'm out diamond on that.
Adam Carolla
Obviously, after the fire. That was the last year. That was the last year concerns and I didn't want to be insensitive and ask you for the drill back after the fire, so I. I stood back. But it's been a long enough amount of time and the app is doing well. And then the fitness app. Okay, that was me for sure.
Jason Mayhem Miller
In more lesbian firefighter news, authorities are investigating a case for involving a woman suspected in the fatal stabbing of her wife. A Southern California fire captain. Oh, this one's Yolanda Marodi, 53, has been on the run, in the wind since authorities named her as the prime suspect in the brutal killing for 49 year old wife, California fire captain Rebecca Maroney last week.
Adam Carolla
I gotta tell you, man, when they get the short cropped hair, they put the tie on and the jacket, it's kind of hard to tell if that's a chick or a tooth.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I'd be like, what's up, bro?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Hey, thanks for your service, sir.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And now the funny thing about this story. Not funny. I should say the terrifying thing about this. This Yolanda Morodi has already did time. Was sentenced to 13 years and 8 months in prison for voluntary manslaughter on her ex husband.
Jillian Michaels
Whoa, whoa.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. This is the exact same M.O. that she pulled on Rebecca. Found stabbed to death in her home with a cold cordless drill.
Adam Carolla
I heard.
Jillian Michaels
I was just going to say, are you sure you didn't give her the drill?
Adam Carolla
I got a pretty good memory for tools and who I went to.
Jason Mayhem Miller
But anyway, yeah, so that, that. She's on the run, she's on the lam. If you've seen this woman, call the cops.
Adam Carolla
What percentage of Americans have killed their husband and their wife.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I mean, that's a Dateline special.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you get a Dateline out of that?
Jillian Michaels
It's a special class of citizen.
Adam Carolla
Right? I mean, a lot of people have killed their husband, and a lot of people have killed multiple husbands, and a lot of husbands have killed multiple wives.
Jillian Michaels
That's a rare badge in a video game. I mean, that's.
Adam Carolla
You killed a husband and your wife.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yes.
Jillian Michaels
I just don't get it. Only, how do you get another bite at the apple?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, I know.
Jillian Michaels
They kill the first one, and they're.
Adam Carolla
Like, okay, you're good.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Well, I think it goes into Adam's. What he was talking about earlier. Some little lesbian hate of men there where she, like, believed, oh, you just killed that bad man. Cause he was bad. I'll take you in. You're the perfect wife.
Adam Carolla
She finally did the burning bed, you know, defense. That sort of. He was abusive, misogynistic, and blah, blah, blah. And then the woman now knew, like, identified with that when. That's never gonna happen with us, I'm guessing.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And meanwhile, she beat the shit out of her until she stabbed her to death again. Just like her husband.
Jillian Michaels
Wow.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Jason Mayhem Miller
No, no, I just made that up.
Jillian Michaels
God damn it.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I'm just thinking of drill.
Jillian Michaels
Or not.
Adam Carolla
It's gone. It melted in the fire. I didn't want to burn you, obviously. You had so much more to think about at the time, but I think it's been long enough. It's been five years or more. Yeah. It's been 18. Yeah. Yeah. It's been seven years. So on to real estate.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Fire ravaged Pacific Palisades Blot hit the market at up to 3.95 million.
Adam Carolla
A lot hit the market. 3. 9.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, 3.
Adam Carolla
9. Just a lot.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Just a lot. A scorched plot of land also in the Pacific Palisade neighborhood just sold for 1.18 million. Nearly 200 grand over asking price.
Adam Carolla
So.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Despite being just ashes.
Jillian Michaels
But can you smell it? Is the.
Adam Carolla
You can smell despair in the air?
Jillian Michaels
The smoke that had once been there. Look at that. Bananas.
Adam Carolla
I wonder how big a lot it was. Does it?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. We don't have the post, but I'm assuming it's one of those. Right?
Jillian Michaels
That is the game, though. The game is. I sorry, but at the end of the day, it's going to be extraordinarily difficult to rebuild. Nobody wants to. And you got to pay your mortgage on the house that just burned to the ground.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
While paying for temporary housing until that's done, which is going to Be years. You talked about the permits. I spent a year just getting a permit to clean the property and was so fed up I sold it.
Adam Carolla
Oh, so you during. And this is 2018? Yeah, shortly before I lent you the drill. I'm sorry. But it was a Milwaukee. It was a 19 volt and it had a spare battery and a keyless chuck and a drill index, too.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Different drill bits, flashlight on the bottom. I remember that drill.
Jillian Michaels
This happened, I would have to go. Bullshit. I want you guys to know.
Adam Carolla
Magnetic cartridge with a number two screw tip in there. Because I said drill the pilot hole first and then put the screw tip in and sink the screw TV with it.
Jillian Michaels
I had a handyman who had his own drill, which may have burned at the house, but nevertheless.
Adam Carolla
All right. Milwaukee, 19. 19 volt. All right. Anyway, the point is with the carrying case. Anyway. Look, my dad gave it to me as one of the last gifts he gave me, but it's all right. It's gone. There's Home Depot up the street. You know, let's just move forward. Okay?
Jillian Michaels
This is a lie. There's no trail. I'm sure of it. If I go back in time, the first time I did this show, I believe was the first time I got to meet you in person. That was post2018.
Jason Mayhem Miller
No, no, no. 100% asked for the drill with a big smile on your face.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. No, because I remember you told me you called a guy from TaskRabbit and he showed up with a Black and Decker and you were super pissed and I said, you should step up to Milwaukee homo.
Jillian Michaels
There's no way is it different. I can definitely see see that another lesbian would probably know how to use the drill. But I have devolved because I can hire.
Adam Carolla
You said the CAS Grab it. Guy showed up. No, no, no, no.
Jillian Michaels
This guy worked for me for years. No, I gotta call him on the phone. No, no, it's not true.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Conservatives say good riddance to Joy Reid's MSNBC show as liberals slam the neck. Network shake up.
Adam Carolla
Hold on a second. So it took you a year to try to get a permit to clean up?
Jillian Michaels
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it took a year.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
They don't a year to get a permit. So you couldn't. Okay, so at that point, I said, all right, that's it. We're not going to rebuild. This is going to take years to permit to design the house and permit the build. I'm going to take the insurance. I was very well insured, thank God. I'm going to take the insurance money. For the house. I'm going to sell the land.
Adam Carolla
Were you up in the hill or on the.
Jillian Michaels
We were a half a mile in from Zuma beach on Bonsal Drive.
Adam Carolla
Half a mile in, meaning up the hill?
Jillian Michaels
Yes. Okay. Yes. So half a mile in from pch, up the hill, across the street from Zuma. And so I went to my neighbor who did not lose their house, and I was like, I'm done.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. He gave me my jigsaw back. Cause he said it didn't melt. And he said I picked it up.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
He said, I have something called dignity. And I remember he returned. You guys are fleeting.
Jillian Michaels
Where's Mike? This is Mike. This is Mike's rack. And I know Mike is behind this.
Adam Carolla
Well, it's 180 for the Milwaukee 19 volt there. But remember, I had the drill index in there, too. And the screw cartridge with the number two tip.
Jillian Michaels
But you're gonna get a drill. I just want you to know. And when you do, you're gonna be like, ah, I feel like a dick. She never took the drill. I'm gonna send a drill. You will receive a drill. I'm gonna gift wrap that shit. You will be getting a drill.
Adam Carolla
I will go right to Habitat for Humanity and throw up some homes. If I ever get a drill from you, it'll be great to be reunited with my drill, even if it's a separate drill. But I get it. Same make. So it took you. They're never gonna let us rebuild because.
Jillian Michaels
No, no, no.
Adam Carolla
The greatest power the government has. Like, everyone kind of goes, well, what is. Is it taxes? Is it parking tickets? Is it, you know, school vouchers or something? It's the permit process. You walk. The permit process is you say to the government, may I do this stuff on my own land and may I pay you for the opportunity to do it? And they go, go, we're going to think about it, but don't hold your breath.
Jillian Michaels
That's right.
Adam Carolla
And then everyone who has no incentive to help you or to expedite this process or to do anything, just bends you over and sticks it to you. And they just go. That's it. And they just have dominion over you, and there's nothing you can do. It's totally frustrating. And you just go, all I'm trying to do is do work on my own property that I pay property taxes on to you. And they go, not so fast, champ. And then they go, take a break, and they sit down, and that's the process. And there's no you going across the street to some alternative. Whatever. There's some versions of things where, like, you want to get clear at the airport, and it's security, but it's also privatized, and so you can go to a local kiosk or something. This is all government, all the time. The biggest bureaucratic mess and the biggest pencil pushers. It's all in the permit property. It's all in the plan check. It's all there. And it grinds things to a halt. And it's everything that's wrong with big government, and you never experience it as long as you're renting apartments and working at Starbucks. But when you get something and you go in and talk to these people, you will learn to despise this big government. And California has completely snowballed out of control in that department. And they claim to sort of go. You know, it's like a tiger saying to a gazelle, no, move into my cage. I gone vegan. And the gazelle's like, really? Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm different. But you ate my mom. Yeah, I know, but that was the old me. I'm changed. Yeah, I'm changing. I'm changed.
Jillian Michaels
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Even if the tiger thinks he's changed, how long is that tiger gonna sit in that cage with that gazelle before he devours it?
Jillian Michaels
It's big money, though.
Adam Carolla
They can't stop themselves. That's where we're at right now.
Jillian Michaels
One of the reasons they wanted or they made us wait a year is because then they turned around and they're like, well, this city may have to do the cleanup. File with us if you want the city to do so. The game was, you can't hire somebody independent. The city wanted your insurance money to do the cleanup.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Jillian Michaels
That was the trick. And I was like, oh, my God.
Adam Carolla
And remember Kamala Harris at the beginning of the show, she didn't say anything about expediting the cleanup or expediting the permit process or getting. Getting a team in here to start rebuilding. She's like, it smells toxicy smokers, smoky. And she said, it smells. You know what I mean? Oh, that. That's. That's. That's all they're saying. It's like, we gotta slow it down. Meanwhile, it rains, and it all just drains right in the ocean. All your toxic you're worried about so bad. It's all killing the fishies.
Jillian Michaels
Yep. It's bananas how bad it is. It looks like a war zone.
Adam Carolla
I know.
Jillian Michaels
It truly is dystopian. It's hard to believe until you're physically There. And you see it with your own eyes, and it doesn't compute. It's bizarre.
Adam Carolla
I mean, you guys can find the clip that I put out last week or the week before, but you can see it's the. I don't know what it is. A 30 second whatever. I released my whatever, but I don't need the whole thing. But two months ago, Trump was up there going, hurry up, hurry up. No plan, nothing. Mayor Bass was like, but safely. It's like, no, not safely. Hurry. Let people clean their land. And she was like, we're gonna do that. We're gonna. No, you are not. You have no intention.
Jillian Michaels
You have no plan, by the way.
Adam Carolla
You can't do it. It's not in your DNA. You're not practical. You're a talker. You're not a doer.
Jillian Michaels
Adam. There's no one in charge in Malibu, so nobody. There's like an interim person, and nobody knows what to do. And Malibu's essentially an island. We just had the Franklin fire on the other side.
Adam Carolla
I had to evacuate three weeks earlier. I said to my assistant, 401. And I go, is there some website that you could go to? And she's like, there is a website. And I go, is there anything on it? Updates, anything? She's like, nah, okay.
Jillian Michaels
No, there's no plan. And that's. That's what they were telling me, is that there's no one in charge. There's no one running the show. Oh, here you go. Yeah, there's no plan. No one knows what to do.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, this is.
Jillian Michaels
And it looks exactly the same as it did January 9th.
Adam Carolla
This is two months ago. This is one month ago.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, one month.
Adam Carolla
One month ago. No. Okay, sir.
Jillian Michaels
And the number one thing that we.
Adam Carolla
Are going to do immediately, and you.
Jillian Michaels
Will see this happen, is to clear out the debris.
Adam Carolla
But the people are willing to clean out their own debris. It doesn't cost much, and they can. I just think you have to allow the people to go on their site and start the process tonight.
Jillian Michaels
And we will.
Adam Carolla
Well, Mayor Karen Bass, you can close it there. Yeah, and we will. And we will. Like, never. Or. And we will. Like you're lying or.
Jillian Michaels
There's no process.
Adam Carolla
You have the President of the United States begin. I want people to go out on their property. I want to clean and dispose of the garbage. And you go, and we will. Except for you will not. And you have no intentions of it, and it's never going to happen. And then the floods came, and it's all in the ocean.
Jillian Michaels
Are you Hearing imminent domain. Because I'm hearing that. I'm hearing that they may not let people rebuild.
Adam Carolla
Well, never let a good tragedy or disaster go to waste. I mean, that's what happened with COVID They're like, let's see if we can get Trump out of here and get this mommy Joe Biden installed. Because we got a little something called Covid. Well, that's gonna work it, man. So, yes, whoever wants to do whatever they wanna do, they never state what they wanna do, which is, I want full command over you and everything you do all the time. And I really don't even like rich people or people that own property. I'd like us to own property. And we can see if you can. We'll lease it back to you. But they never can say it. So what they say is, and we want people to come in and rebuild as fast as possible. Now, Trump is not a process guy. Trump's a commercial builder. So his mind's going, let's go. And Karen Bass is sitting there going, I wish I was back in Ghana.
Jillian Michaels
Yep. What do you think Newsom's thinking, though? Because this kind of circles back to, I just don't like to do it. I have to call bullshit on that because I can point to specific bills that landed on his desk that passed with broad consensus across all the legislative bodies in California for forestry management. Bill AB 2330 was one and he vetoed it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Well, I should say sign, you're done.
Jillian Michaels
The work is done.
Adam Carolla
He doesn't have an interest in it. And he has much greater interest in the sort of Good vibes Club Adam.
Jillian Michaels
Sign it. Who gives a. What you have interest in? It's the work is done for you. Why did he not sign it?
Adam Carolla
Oh, she's getting pressure from environmental groups.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And what they want to do. What is that bill they wanted to trim?
Jillian Michaels
Forest management.
Adam Carolla
Environmental groups think you intervening in any way.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, but it's like you humans living here.
Adam Carolla
But they also. Well, listen, if you want to cut your son's dick off, yeah, no problemo. But let's not intervene in the forest now. That's how they. That's how they work.
Jason Mayhem Miller
What are they, Na'vi? Are they some type of forest creatures, these people?
Jillian Michaels
It depends on the issue. I mean, literally, it's like all the smelled fish. Oh, the, you know, the supporting. The people who shelled nuts. Like there's all different kinds, more than most people.
Jason Mayhem Miller
And I think that, man, we always did control.
Adam Carolla
They didn't want to hurt the milk weed, but.
Jillian Michaels
But the reality Is that you gotta call bullshit on that. Because anybody with a brain, the three year old bellowing on your plane could put together that these fires release more carbon.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Jillian Michaels
More toxic shit. The mattress that melted. I mean, forgot all that stuff that goes into the air. Rains on the crops in the middle of the state, drains off into the ocean. It doesn't take a genius. So what. What's actually going on?
Adam Carolla
I know. Well, now we're getting into is there some sort of evil motivation?
Jillian Michaels
But it does not make sense.
Adam Carolla
I agree. But also, Karen Bass is fucking dumb.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. That's what I mean.
Adam Carolla
And a lot of these people are just dumb.
Jillian Michaels
Newsom's not dumb. He's a sociopath. You said it. And you're right.
Adam Carolla
He is. He is. He's a sociopath. The other people are just gonna.
Jillian Michaels
But Adam, he's the tip of the spear.
Adam Carolla
I agree. All right, Mayhem. I want to hear those other stories tomorrow because they're so good. But Jillian's so passionate.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We love it.
Adam Carolla
I love it too. It's keeping it real with Jillian Michaels. And then also the fitness app, which you should definitely explore as well. And you can go to website. Jillianmichaels.com right?
Jillian Michaels
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I'm gonna be in San Luis, but that's selling out. But Monterey, there's tickets left for. And that's. That's Saturday at the Golden State Theater and then Uptown Theater in Napa. But you can go to amcroll.com for all the live shows. Jillian, it's great to see you, my friend.
Jillian Michaels
Thank you so much for having me.
Adam Carolla
Appreciate it. I'll just kind of.
Jillian Michaels
You drill off.
Adam Carolla
I'm just going to put my nose against the glass. The Home Depot's right up the street. It's Walking distance.
Jillian Michaels
My mind is drill.
Adam Carolla
Oh, my God. Tell XMM from over. Jillian Drill Stealing Michaels and Mayhem Miller. Say it. Mahala. Oh, my God.
Jillian Michaels
Thank you so much for having me.
Adam Carolla
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Jillian Michaels
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Adam Carolla
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Jillian Michaels
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Adam Carolla
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Jillian Michaels
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Adam Carolla
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Jillian Michaels
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Adam Carolla
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Podcast Summary: Adam Carolla Show – "Karen Bass Fires LA Fire Chief Crowley + Jillian Michaels"
Release Date: February 25, 2025
The episode begins with Adam Carolla welcoming fitness expert Jillian Michaels back to the studio. He highlights her latest ventures, including her podcast "Keepin It Real with Jillian Michaels" and her popular fitness app. The atmosphere is casual, with Adam expressing enthusiasm for the engaging conversation ahead.
Notable Quote:
A significant portion of the discussion centers around Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass's decision to dismiss Fire Chief Kristen Crowley. Adam and Jillian critique Bass's handling of the recent catastrophic wildfires, labeling her approach as inadequate and process-oriented without actionable plans.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
Jillian shares personal stories about parenting, particularly focusing on strategies to manage challenging behaviors in children. She discusses innovative methods to calm her kids, drawing parallels to broader societal issues.
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Notable Quotes:
The hosts delve into the contentious topic of COVID-19 vaccinations, particularly focusing on Jillian's stance and experiences. They criticize public health officials and media figures for their handling of vaccine information and policies.
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Notable Quotes:
Jillian shares her personal loss due to wildfires, detailing the challenges of rebuilding and navigating the bureaucratic permit processes. This segment underscores the real-world implications of ineffective disaster management.
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Notable Quotes:
As the episode nears its end, Adam reflects on the day's discussions, emphasizing the need for practical solutions over process-oriented rhetoric. He teases upcoming segments and encourages listeners to explore Jillian's fitness app and podcast.
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Notable Quotes:
This episode of the Adam Carolla Show offers a candid and critical discussion on Los Angeles' wildfire management, personal parenting challenges, and controversial views on COVID-19 vaccinations. Through personal anecdotes and sharp critiques, Adam and Jillian provide listeners with a perspective that challenges mainstream narratives and encourages independent thinking.
Note: The summary excludes advertisements, promotional segments, and non-content discussions to focus solely on the meaningful exchanges between Adam Carolla and Jillian Michaels.