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Adam Carolla
Well, in this episode, Brad Williams is in studio bringing it, man. Cutting it up with Brad. Lots of laughs. Mayhem's doing the news. Caleb Castile, who is a documentary filmmaker in an ex Alabama standout player. Kind of interesting doc. We'll talk about that. We'll do all that right after this.
Mike Dawson
The road goes on forever and the party never ends. Especially if your name is Adam Carolla and you love Portland, Oregon. Thursday, August 7th, catch the Ace man at Helium Comedy Club in Portland. Then August 31st at Mom Said yes in Torrance, California. Two shows at 7pm and 9pm and those Torrance shows at Mom Said yes, featuring yours truly, Mike Dawson. Then on September 12th and 13th, the Ace man heads to El Paso, Texas for four shows at the Comic Strip, Portland, August 7th, Torrance, August 31st in El Paso, September 12th and 13th. Get tickets now at AdamCarolla.com from Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Carolla show. Adam's guest today, Brad Williams. Plus from the documentary Nothing but a winner, Jeremiah and Caleb Castille. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now looking forward to a little.
Adam Carolla
Small talk with Brad Williams. Adam Corolla, Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. Treasure going to remind you. Get it on now. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. Brad Williams back in studio.
Brad Williams
Thank you. And thank you for naming my future podcast Small Talk with Brad Williams. I think that's going to work.
Adam Carolla
Brad's got shows all over the place at Bakersfield, coming up at the Fox Theater. That's a great old theater.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Also Thousand Oaks, Fred Cavill theater. That'll be August 2nd and then the 8th, Capitol center for the Arts. For the arts. Well, you want that when you come up. You play in clubs. You start with open mics, you start opening if you went for the arts at the end of the venue.
Brad Williams
Yeah, it's nice to be telling dick jokes after the ballet was just there.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it is kind of funny.
Brad Williams
It is kind of like a big time sort of screw you to all the people that said comedy. What's the future in that? It's like it one week in December, it's going to be the Nutcracker. Next week me. Still, still a holiday theme. Yeah, still a holiday theme, let's be honest. But it is crazy when you see like, oh, the symphony is going to be there or oh, they're doing the, they're doing their version of the Book of Mormon and then me.
Adam Carolla
It's awesome. I totally agree. I like it. I Like it when there's a big band like Santana or something like that. Because I'm like that. To pay that whole percussion, right? They had to pay that 14 guys in that band.
Brad Williams
Oh, my God. Like, I just played. I was up in Canada, near Toronto. It's a place called Casino Rama, which. Which sounds like a fake name, like casino, but the city's Rama. And I was just looking at the sides and seeing all the big bands and thinking the exact same thing you were. I'm just like, oh, my God. I have two people with me. I have me and my opening act, JB Ball. They have guitar techs, nine, nine piece band. Oh my God, they're making no money.
Adam Carolla
No, I, I agree. And the funny thing is, the answer to that is sort of a weird thing. When you go, you go, okay, the theater holds this. I know how much the theater costs. I know how much I'm getting paid. These guys have like 11 guys in their band, plus all the techs. And how are they? It's like they're not like, maybe they're breaking even. When I would say that to Mike, he'd go, that's why they have to tour. And I'd go, no, no, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying I don't, I don't know if they're making it here either. And they go, they do it in volume. It's volume.
Brad Williams
So I don't know if Mike knows his multiplication tables, but. Or division.
Adam Carolla
To be fair to him, they're not making that much and they have to do a lot of it. But anyway, there's also a sad thought. There's a sad thought that I have, which is a good old fashioned, low self esteem thought. I will walk out after the show in the casino or whatever, and they will put up on the marquee, who's coming back next?
Brad Williams
And I will look up, it's Night Ranger.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And I will. There's only one way to rock Brad. And I'll see like Gordon Lightfoot or Air Supply or something. And I'll go, oh, it's so sad what happened to this guy. What happened? It's sad. I just got done playing this place. Why isn't it sad for me?
Brad Williams
No, no, it's great for us. Because that's not what you think comedy is gonna be. When you start doing comedy. Very few people go, oh, no, I'm going right to theaters like you think, okay, I'll sell at some clubs. Maybe I'll get to there.
Adam Carolla
It's just more That I was in junior high listening to Air Supply on the radio, and now we're sharing the same theater. They gotta be. Fuck, they gotta be mad.
Brad Williams
Like if. If Sarah McLachlan comes to play this venue, right? And then she's like, who was here last week expecting to hear, like, some crazy popular band? They go, oh, the comedian, Brad Williams.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brad Williams
She's got to feel awful.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brad Williams
Horrible about herself. Like, I'm playing Brad Williams venues.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brad Williams
That's terrible. Me, I'm stoked.
Adam Carolla
I got a thought, which was I was driving through Malibu pch, looking at all the destruction, all the work, and I was hearkening back. I was like. It seemed like about a year ago, I was seeing these signs on the side of the lifeguard stations, which. And I like things that are emblematic, is what I'm saying. I like things that illustrate things clearly. Such as which I was explaining the other day, which is like, we had a choice between a guy for mayor and Rick Caruso who had his whole private fire crew stationed two days before the fire and was putting fire retardant material on the roof of all the structures that he built. Or a woman who was in ceremonial garb in Ghana doing a dance because somebody she never met was made prime minister in Ghana, which I don't know how much further away you can get from Los Angeles. So those were our two choices, and we went with the one who was in Ghana versus the one who had it. Fire department was preparing and looked.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Fire worked out for us.
Brad Williams
Good vibes.
Adam Carolla
I like things that are emblematic. And the thing that's funny is in Malibu, they put these signs up on this. Lifeguard stations. I'll show it to you. I took pictures of it. It drove me insane. We'll blow it up. It's a long PCH and it says, keep our beaches hate free. Now, I would like to put a sign up that says, fill the aqueducts, but, like, you know what I mean? Like, okay, I don't. Let's just go in order of importance. Can we do this?
Brad Williams
Sure.
Adam Carolla
Water to fight a fire.
Brad Williams
Sure.
Adam Carolla
Clearing the brush so that there's not fuel for the fire.
Brad Williams
Right.
Adam Carolla
Stationing fire trucks in vulnerable places to jump on the fire and get it before it spreads versus the problem of hate on the beach in Malibu. Now, where would you. If you were to put those in order, if you were like a citizen, let's say, you own some structures in that community.
Brad Williams
Sure.
Adam Carolla
Could you possibly pick an order? Might you even put keep hate off our beaches? Second after filling the Aqueducts. Or would you dare? Let's not get crazy. Let's not get crazy.
Brad Williams
And to have to have this sign.
Adam Carolla
By the way, the sign's gone because it burnt in the fire. The sign went up in the fire. But this is so la. This is so perfect.
Brad Williams
Adam, you're getting worked up about this and you're actually getting angry, which is a synonym of hate. So you need to read the sign.
Adam Carolla
I got.
Brad Williams
You need to read the sign. Calm down. Okay. Keep the hate off that beach. Adam.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Stop making swastika sand castles.
Adam Carolla
Somebody had to. Somebody.
Brad Williams
You understand?
Adam Carolla
This isn't a rogue lifeguard. No, somebody had to put it through a city council. This thing had to be sent out. God knows this thing wasn't a penny under five grand to make this sign for the taxpayers.
Brad Williams
There was a team there. There was a team to figure out what slogan it's not going to be. We're not going to do. Now, was this photo taken after the fires or before the fires?
Adam Carolla
Before the. Before the fires. Before the fires. This is where all the money was going to.
Caleb Castille
Yes.
Brad Williams
As well it should.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I was. This was taken about a year ago. I was trying to.
Brad Williams
Task force. They're like, oh, should we keep the hate off the beach? Is that good? Wait, no, let's pay this guy another two grand.
Adam Carolla
The mounting of the sign had to be farmed out to a separate company that had the right kind of insurance that probably closed the lane off. And PCH had someone holding the sign up that said slow and stop. They had to make sure that there was an OSHA representative there who was there as a deputy inspector to watch the mounting of the sign. I mean, all in the sign had to be 15 grand. Right? Easily. Is hate an issue at the beach? And then also, isn't it just kind of bumming out blacks and Jews who drive past it, like, on. Man, it's everywhere, bro. I can't even fucking hit the sand without this shit.
Brad Williams
Well, because it's sort of the thing. My dad. My dad was an attorney and he always told me when I would, like, make fun of all the crazy language that are in these contracts and everything, and he would always tell me, hey, the only reason why that language is there is because at some point there was a lawsuit and they had to add that thing.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Brad Williams
And if I'm a minority, I mean, I am a minority in terms of little people, but if I drive by that, I see that I go, oh, there was an insane incident that made them have to put this sign up. That's what I would assume. That's what I would assume. But then you look at the beaches of Malibu, there's no. There's no Bruce's beach in Redondo beach incident, right? That happened in Malibu, where everyone's like, all right, there. There was no massacre in Tulsa on the beaches of Malibu, where we have to be like, we gotta reek. Like, now, when you go to Germany, every Jewish synagogue has an armed guard, 247 in front of the Jewish synagogue.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Brad Williams
Why? Because there was an incident 80 or so years ago. They feel kind of bad about it.
Adam Carolla
Not that I agree. And so it's insidious because basically we're post all this. We're not white supremacists. Not the biggest problem. And so what they have to do is they have to constantly gin it up. So they hit you over the head with it, and you think it's ubiquitous. And they put it in the end zone of the NFL game, and they put it. The President makes a speech, Biden did, and he gets up there and he starts talking about white supremacy and everything else. And all I'm saying is, get rid of the hate and the white supremacy and the end hate and racism and stuff. Just replace it with malaria. And let's just say you came to this country from another country. You'd go, they evidently have a pretty big problem over there in the United States with malaria. I mean, they play their football games, they're putting it in the end zone, they're down at the beach. It's everywhere. The President gives a speech on malaria, you know what I mean? And it's like, it's also the name of Trump's wife. But the point is, you would come away from this going, I didn't really see any mosquitoes. But it is evidently a real problem over there, which it's not. But they want you to think it is. And that's why I think it's dereliction of duty and a dereliction of your fiduciary duty. Your dad would appreciate that one. But I'm just saying there is not. Here's what I'm saying, to all the city council people and to all the women of the world. There's not an infinite amount of time to consider and talk about things. There's a certain amount of time, and every second you put into brainstorming up a scheme for a sign to be mounted on the side of a lifeguard station that has nothing to do with reality helps no one, in fact, bums out whatever motorists may be crawling down pch. Every second you devote to that process is a second you don't devote to clearing brush and filling aqueducts. That's what I'm saying.
Brad Williams
I would agree with that. And I would also say this. If. If. Let's just say if there is a white supremacist. If there is a. If the grand wizard of the KKK is heading to Malibu beach, and he. And he's like, you know what? I've been seeing way too many photos of black people enjoying themselves on this beach. I'm gonna go settle some hash. I'm gonna go take care of this problem. Do you think that he is gonna roll up, see the sign and go, ah, fuck, there's a sign.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Greg's pretty personal.
Adam Carolla
I felt that. I used to do a whole bit where every. Every one. First off, Grand Wizards burn. They don't tan. And this is some of the whitest people, right? These are gingers.
Brad Williams
To be fair. To be fair.
Adam Carolla
Gingers who've never. Are constantly hooded and robed. They've never been exposed to the sun. These ain't migrant workers.
Brad Williams
They look at it. They look at Andrew Santino as very dark.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Brad Williams
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
They do not. There's not an SPF high enough for the grand wizard to hang out at the beach, so they don't play a lot of beach volleyball. Number one. They don't know what's going on the beach. But to your point, yes. I used to do a bit on this, and I always felt this way. I see these signs. There used to be bumper stickers on the back of, like, all municipal vehicles, like garbage trucks and cop cars and meter maids. And it would say, end senior abuse. And I was like, is there a human being who got behind this guy? On his way. He was on his way to Shady Acres to open a can of whoop ass on Nana and, like, looked at that bumper sticker and then tilted his rear view down, didn't like what he saw. Looking.
Brad Williams
One single tear coming back.
Adam Carolla
I argue that it reminds more people to abuse seniors. Like, that guy pulls up and goes, oh, Jesus. Yeah, it's been a minute.
Brad Williams
I haven't backhanded Beatrice in a few weeks.
Adam Carolla
That old bag of bones. You're right. I'm turning around. Yeah, I was heading to the boys club to volunteer, but you know what?
Brad Williams
Thousand percent. I don't think the signs are going to stop. Like, end human trafficking. Oh, shit.
Jason Mayhem Miller
My grandpappy didn't cover the spread.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
The greatest. At the Denver. Your precious Denver Airport.
Brad Williams
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Your precious Denver There was a sign of a rhino that said, I am not medicine. I'm in Denver. I flew in from Burbank. I'm not going to Ghana to like hunt or doing a show. Who, what percentage of people you were.
Brad Williams
Getting the connecting flight in Denver before you, before you got to Kenya.
Adam Carolla
The other thing is like, again, it's to stop the end the human trafficking signs in the bathroom. Okay, what is going on at this airport? What do you want me to do about it? Yes. And how many people see this sign and go, you're right. I'm in a position where I could affect this. Senior pews or the hate on the beach.
Brad Williams
People give way too much respect to signs.
Adam Carolla
They do.
Brad Williams
They think signs are so powerful. I remember when the, I remember when the bathroom gender debate was going on and they're. And they're just like, well, if we don't make specific rules, there's going to be men that go into the women's bathroom and say they're a woman and then diddle a little girl. And you're like, I don't think the sign was stopping them. Now I, I think if they're committed to doing something that monstrous, they're not gonna be like, ah, well, I'm not the right gender. I can't go in that. I can't go in this bathroom.
Adam Carolla
I like, I like the ones that are like, I like the gun free zone type sure sign. Which just reminds the one guy with a gun. It's gonna be pretty good in here for a while.
Brad Williams
If I'm the gun. If I'm the guy with a gun going into the gun free zone, I'm like, I feel more safe than anybody right now.
Adam Carolla
You are an apex predator, my friend.
Brad Williams
Yes.
Adam Carolla
I am not medicine with a rhino at the Denver goddamn airport. And all I do is stare at it. And first off, I get. Can I just tell you something? Yeah. The more signs. Here's the deal. I'm going in to take a piss into the bathroom at the Burbank Airport. I'm only thinking about taking a piss and maybe where are we going to dinner tonight? And then now I'm forced to think about human trafficking. Yes. So thank you, sign, or I'm poaching of rhinos or hate crimes in Malibu. Like, I don't want to think about this all the time.
Brad Williams
If I ever got to an airport, a beach, whatever, and I saw a sign that said, stop dwarf punting.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Brad Williams
And there was just a guy, a little like yellow and black sign of a guy drop kicking one of my people, right? I would say, I don't think I'm allowed on this beach. Like, like this is. This is not safe for me to be bummed out. Yeah. I'd be like, oh, there's some of my people have been punted here. What a fan.
Adam Carolla
I want to blow up the. The key hate off our beaches free or whatever. Keep hate. Let's make a beaches hate free. Because I want to know, like, who's. What is somebody sponsored? Like, where. Also, is there anybody in this, the city council with enough fucking moxie to just go, Dan, put your fucking hand down. Your stupid idea about, hey, don't you think you would hate. It's not a problem. It's not a fucking problem. Let's just. We should focus more on safety with lawn darts. And then someone go, why? That's not a thing. And I go, exactly, bitch, put your fucking hand down.
Brad Williams
I, yeah, I would say that when we say keep, keep, keep the beaches hate free. The only thing, the only time I experience hate when I go to a beach is when I go to a beach and I see that, oh, I can't bring my dog on this beach, throw a frisbee on this beach. I can't have a bonfire on this beach. I can't. I can't play volleyball on this beach. I can't play my music on this beach. I. That's what I have.
Adam Carolla
Hate. Where the hate.
Brad Williams
That's when I have hate. So maybe allow us to throw a frisbee. Allow us to play fetch with a dog, Allow us to crack a beer. Allow us to have a bonfire. Maybe then we, we won't be so uptight.
Adam Carolla
And let me tell you something about Brad. It doesn't throw Frisbee rides one.
Brad Williams
I ride one.
Adam Carolla
He's like the silver server on there.
Brad Williams
If you ever saw me riding a Frisbee, everyone would just assume that Uber has a new option. They'd be like, wow, Uber Frisbee. I didn't know that that was a way to go.
Adam Carolla
So, yeah, everything around the sign is now burned down. Sure, but sign.
Brad Williams
But there's no hate there.
Adam Carolla
There's no hate. There's just carbon. There's no structures, Toxic soot. But there is no hate. But there's no burger stand.
Brad Williams
But there's also no hate.
Adam Carolla
I realize if you can get down to the beach with hate. I've lived here my entire life. I've never experienced a hate crime anywhere near the beach. The beach is the one place where people actually just sort of mellow out. The only hate crime that I've ever been a part of.
Brad Williams
There's another part of this on the beach.
Adam Carolla
Oh, sir, number to call two one.
Brad Williams
One now to be fair. Not nine one one.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brad Williams
Which all. Which already exists for emergencies 201 report hate. Yes. Which I would say if there was something of actual note of hate going on at the beach, you'd probably Want to call 91 1. You'd probably get some cops if there's a guy burning a cross out there. But the fact that there's the separate.
Adam Carolla
So we gotta call it. Yeah, Andrew, you gotta call 21 1. First off, you're not gonna speak to anybody. If you, if you do talk to someone, tell somebody. I went down to Malibu, I brought my zippy board and I thought I was gonna have a good time. And then some guy called me a filthy kike. And I want to report this.
Brad Williams
It is a hundred percent. It is a hundred percent automated. Which if it is automated, this might be the funniest Automation says press 1. If you have been called a racial slur, you press 1. Press 1. If it was taco vendor, press 2. For towel head, press 3. You're just like going down it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. To report a hard R, press a. Yeah, yeah. And mash all of the buttons. If you were told to go back home.
Brad Williams
Yes.
Adam Carolla
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Brad Williams
Yes.
Adam Carolla
So wait, what's it say under this thing? And what's 211 ACE?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Can we please call the number you.
Mike Dawson
Understand I just called? Got no answer.
Adam Carolla
We're spending money on it.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You got no answer.
Adam Carolla
Nobody does.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Well, yeah. Cause white privilege.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Tell them I demand satisfaction. Let's see if. If you are someone you know, I like when they brought it out.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Getting it broad. And been a victim of. What is that? Of a hate incident.
Brad Williams
A hate incident or crime.
Adam Carolla
Or crime on the beach incident.
Brad Williams
We should call incidents. Doing some heavy lifting there. Because if I'm on the beach and someone's, you know, playing sand in your face. Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Calling you little man.
Brad Williams
I mean. Yeah, see, I like crime. I feel like that's a crime.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It is.
Brad Williams
But if. But if someone's playing a genre of music I'm not a particular fan of. Is that an incident?
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Brad Williams
Can I call that? If you're playing the Indigo Girls. Sorry, Indigo Girls for the. For.
Adam Carolla
For. Brad only listens to Tate Speed. He only listens to jigs.
Jeremiah Castille
Very true.
Brad Williams
Just jigs. Just Irish, English. I don't care where the jig comes from. Scottish. I love it.
Adam Carolla
It's got to be mandolin driven.
Brad Williams
Some would say that I'm a jigger.
Adam Carolla
Oh, jigger, please. Yeah. So we crafted a sign that had to cost thousands and thousands of dollars and mounted it on the side of a lifeguard station that bummed everyone who went to the beach out for no reason at all. But we did not put one nickel into clearing brush or burying power lines or manning or fixing fire equipment. We did none of that. And now everything around the sign is burnt down. All Right. L. A. There you go.
Brad Williams
Great job.
Adam Carolla
That's us. To be who we are.
Brad Williams
To go. To exaggerate your point more, was anyone experiencing like this much hate?
Adam Carolla
I experienced a hate crime when I was about nine.
Brad Williams
Okay.
Adam Carolla
On the beach, Santa Monica. We couldn't make it to Malibu, but we just was.
Brad Williams
When Ray shoved a turd in your ear.
Adam Carolla
Well, that, that was on terra firma, my friend. That was at North Hollywood High. That was during school in the middle of North Holland. And it's unclear if it was his turd, but it was either his or Chris's turd. It was one of their turds.
Brad Williams
A rogue turd.
Adam Carolla
When you get a turd in your. You don't stop and ask, whose turd is it?
Brad Williams
No, you know, it's not the origin.
Adam Carolla
You see red and then a little bit of brown. And then at some point you gotta get out.
Brad Williams
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Which. That's what happened. No, Speaking of that, Yes. I was in the bay with Ray at some point.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
He did shit in underwater into his hand and throw it at me above water. But that was fine because I was in the ocean. It's another thing to be in the middle of homeroom wearing your fucking Levi's in a fucking parka and get shit slammed.
Brad Williams
Right.
Adam Carolla
So that was a different environment.
Brad Williams
Absolutely. But to say, like to keep the beaches hate free. I don't to piggyback on your point. People aren't going to the beaches full of hate. I literally, when I have a fight with my wife, we live near the beach. I drive five minutes to the beach, I stare at water for 10 minutes, I'm calm as all heck. And then I drive back home and I go. I don't even remember what we were fighting about.
Adam Carolla
Shit out of that witch. Go back and fuck your girlfriend at the beach. Hey, I'm with you. No, wait, I. I was, I. I was the recipient of a hate crime. Because when I was like 9 or 10, I used to think about all the time, people go to the beach now. First off, there's equipment and everything's got wheels on it. There's the scooter wheel, coolers, everything's got everything. And people show up, like fucking bivouacking, like it's wartime or something. We showed up with one warm shasta, you know what I mean? And no money for the entire day. Like we just would show up, just show up. You just had a towel. You had zero money. If there was water, you'd just go back up to where the bathroom was and drink it out of the sink. There was nothing. Just nothing. The whole day. Didn't pack a sandwich, didn't have nothing. And I was walking along the beach, and I looked. I was walking with my feet in the water, and I see a Coca Cola bottle halfway buried in the sand right where the water. Right where the cold sea water's licking up. And I was like, treasure, treasure, this offering from the gods. Treasure has been offered to me. And I just, like, looked at it and I, oh, my God, I'm gonna have a Coca Cola. And I reached down, I started pulling it out of the sand, and I hear this voice. Excuse you. I was like, what happened, bitch? Sitting up there on a folding chair. Excuse you. I'm like, huh? That's my Coca Cola. I go, I was keeping it cool. Yeah, of course, of course. Shove it back in the fucking.
Brad Williams
Shouldn't you be holding your Coca Cola?
Adam Carolla
She wanted to keep it cool.
Brad Williams
Oh, okay.
Adam Carolla
I know, but I thought it washed up.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Maybe it even had a note in it.
Brad Williams
Yeah, you never know. To whomever finds this, I'm stranded on a desert island. Maybe you spark a rescue situation.
Adam Carolla
I found in a bottle in Malibu. Yeah.
Brad Williams
What did it say?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Said Jews will not replace us.
Adam Carolla
Ye. Yeah, that's what it said. Terrible.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I don't know why.
Brad Williams
According to this sign, that's what. That's that. That's what was found all over the.
Adam Carolla
Ah. Was a woman who wrote a note, and I called her.
Brad Williams
Did you?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brad Williams
Was she happy to get your call? Did she recognize your voice?
Adam Carolla
Well, she didn't. I. I was hoping she threw it off a ship in Australia or something. Right.
Brad Williams
It just went all the way across.
Adam Carolla
She just threw it in Malibu and washed back up to her like, hey, bitch, you gotta get out in international waters, man.
Brad Williams
It's your neighbor. You're like, oh, Sharon. Oh, crap.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. She's like, I threw that about noon. What time is this? About one. She put all her feelings about she didn't want to die or anything, but she had some frustrations with life. Put in a bottle. She threw it right next to the hate sign, I'm sure. And it went out and then the next wave came and it washed back onto the thing that same day, and I called her. You.
Brad Williams
Sounds sacrilegious to be saying this on one of the best, most popular podcasts in the world, but I feel like that was the old version of the podcast where you had some feelings, you wanted to rant, you had some thoughts, and you just wrote them on a piece of paper, put them in the bottle. And said, all right, let me chuck this out. And you're like, all right, I got. I got those out now. Now I feel like everyone has to do a sad Instagram video for every single thing and every single feeling that they have. And sometimes I'm just like, ah, we could have gone without that one.
Adam Carolla
I agree. Also, I don't know where you're at with this is. We're both, you know, quasi celebrities. Yeah. I don't feel I need to weigh in on everybody's departure. You know, like, Ryan Sandberg died. Okay. Sure. He was a good baseball player.
Brad Williams
Sure.
Adam Carolla
Ozzy Osbourne. I met him a time or two. Yeah. I had made his acquaintance. I knew his. I don't feel compelled to weigh in on Hulk Hogan dying. I knew Hulk Hogan when I was a civilian, and I knew Hulk Hogan when I was a celebrity, but I still didn't know Hulk Hogan. And I didn't spend a lot of time with Hulk Hogan. And now his family can grieve without me jumping in and saying something about us missing a legend or something. And it's nice, but I don't like the ones where they go, my friend, my dear friend, the guy you never fucking hung out with.
Brad Williams
We have no other photos. You have the one photo.
Adam Carolla
And.
Brad Williams
And it was eight years ago. Not. Not 30 years ago when you were kids.
Adam Carolla
Right. And Henry, too.
Brad Williams
Yes.
Adam Carolla
So is that just you and the Hulkster? I don't know.
Brad Williams
Now, I did post something about Hulk Hogan, but here. But here. But here's what I posted here, because at one point, I had one of my favorite jobs I've ever had. Now, Adam, you know, as a standup comic, that one of the hardest jobs we could have is that of the audience warm up guy.
Adam Carolla
Oh, that was my dream job.
Brad Williams
That. It's a hard job, though. Hard job.
Adam Carolla
It's. It's thankless.
Brad Williams
Yes. And for those of you who are unfamiliar, the audience warm up guy. Any show that has a live studio audience will typically have a comedian in there. And their job is keep the audience hyped, keep them good. So whenever there's a commercial break, there's a rewrite. If there's a scene change, whatever. That's when the comedian comes out. Now, you never know how long you're gonna get.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brad Williams
It can be 30 seconds while. While they just say, let's go again. It could be 20 minutes as they're completely rewriting a scene that did not work.
Adam Carolla
You also can be well into the setup of something.
Brad Williams
Yes.
Adam Carolla
That lasted five minutes. And then you go and that's when my grandfather turned to me and said, and then some guy runs out of the headset, goes, all right, bring it off. Like ring a bell? They don't wait. They just. We're going.
Brad Williams
No, they're not. Like a perfectly timed baseball announcer that goes, I can fit this story in. It's just you. You just go, right. So I got a job as the audience warm up guy on a show on country music channel that was called Hulk Hogan's Wrestling with Celebrities.
Adam Carolla
Oh, wow. All right, audience warm up, guys. A good gig, though.
Brad Williams
That was. It was fun. Paid well. Yeah, I was really happy. I'm a big. I'm a big wrestling fan. So I was like, holy crap, I'm gonna go thing with Hulk Hogan. And now when, when, when you hear wrestling with celebrities. I know, I know what you're thinking, Brad. Well, it must have been Chris Hemsworth and Tom Cruise and you know, Emma Watson and Julia Roberts. They must have all been wrestling. No, no, no, no, no, no. Better, Better.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Todd Bridges.
Brad Williams
He was on the cast.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Brad Williams
Not even bull. Not even bullshitting.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I know my target demographic.
Brad Williams
Todd Bridges, Dustin Diamond, Screech. Rest in peace. Also rest in peace. Todd. Todd Bridges. Because half the cast is dead.
Adam Carolla
Wait, is Todd Bridge. I think he's still alive.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Bridges is very much alive.
Adam Carolla
We checked out.
Brad Williams
Is he alive? Did I just. Did I just accidentally kill Todd Bridges.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Time on this show that that's happened?
Adam Carolla
No, it's when everyone in the cast is dead and you were the one who should have died first. Everyone does the math. But he's still here.
Brad Williams
Is he alive?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brad Williams
Wow. I apologize, Todd. I apologize.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We kill him every other week.
Brad Williams
Oh, my God. So Todd Bridges, Screech, Dennis Rodman, Danny Bonaduce. There. There was a Stallone.
Adam Carolla
Oh, let me guess. There. There's a Eunice Stallone. Sister. That did not.
Brad Williams
Hey, we got Frank. We got Frank. We got. We got. We got the number two Stallone after whatever woman is married to Slide. And this, this was our cast. The. There was others, but. So at one point there's a wrestling ring and they stop. And now it's my job to go in. Into the wrestling ring and keep.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, that's where you do the stand up from?
Brad Williams
Yeah, you stand up from the wrestling ring.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Okay, okay.
Brad Williams
Keep everybody hyped. Now I knew, I knew this would. This particular break was going to be a big break. I knew they had to completely switch the shots or whatever. So I knew I was going to have some time. Time. So I put my buddy.
Adam Carolla
Where did you film this, by the way?
Brad Williams
Probably Van Eyes. That's where. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think was at Van Eyes. We, I put my buddy Ozzy in the audience. Now, Ozzy is a friend of mine who has trained to become a professional wrestler. Never succeeded, but you know what? He's now a wrestling announcer. He's doing okay, but he's trained to be a pro wrestler. I have him in the audience. I have him start to heckle me while I'm doing the set. And I'm, and I'm like, what's going on? He's yelling, you suck. Get off the stage. Get out of the ring. And then I do the old, well, if you think this is so easy, why don't you come up here and do this? Now, I have told maybe three people on the set that I'm going to do this. So everyone else on the set is like, what, what is that? What is Brad doing? He's asking an audience member, come out. Ozzy comes out of the audience, gets into the ring, grabs the microphone, does a minute or two of the worst stand up we could write. We, we wrote the worst stand up ever. He gets frustrated, the audience starts booing him. And then he turns and cracks me over the head with the microphone.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Brad Williams
Just hit me. And everyone's going, oh, yeah. Everyone's like, did not see that coming. I get up, reverse something. We, we go into a lockup. He throws me against the ropes. I duck it, hit him with a cross body block. At some point, I actually picked him up, body slammed him.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Brad Williams
And then I go to the top rope. Well, second rope. And it was high. It was high, it was high. It was high for me. Top rope and dwarf.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Brad Williams
And then nail a frog. Splash.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Brad Williams
I, I, I asked one of the people on the show, these, one of the three people I told was going to happen. He was ready in a referee outfit. It, he runs, slides into the ring. One, two, three. The place erupts. Wow. Goes nuts. And then they're like, all right, we're back, we're back. We're getting back. All right, we're gonna do it again. We're gonna, we're back to shooting. Hulk Hogan stops and goes, no, we're not. Come up here, brother. I want to talk to you.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Brad Williams
He stopped production for a second. I, I, I came up there and he looks at me and Ozzy, he's like, oh, man, brother. You guys were like the Wrecking Crew out there, brother. I'm like, all right, we got a tag team name. If we Ever do this for you? But he just wanted to give us our props. And that. That's my Hulking story. And it's beautiful. So that as a kid in the 80s, that's like meeting your superhero.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Oh, I met him.
Brad Williams
Oh, yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I met him when I was 10.
Brad Williams
When you.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, yeah, 10.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I was pumped.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Jason Mayhem Miller
I was pumped. Like, we were supposed to go meet him and you know the after school program that the military had for us?
Adam Carolla
Oh, right.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. And then. And they said, oh, Hulk has to go to another appointment. We missed him. Whoever ran that program loaded all his kids on a bus and we chased Hulk Hogan to the next place.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. I never thought about how crazy that was. But we cha. And I was pumped, bro. I was gonna ask him. Like, I was on the bus.
Adam Carolla
Imagine your Bubba the love sponge's wife's house and a school bus pulls up. Her kids start piling out.
Brad Williams
You're like, put your clothes on if you know why. That's funny. That is so funny.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I was gonna ask, you know how he slammed Andre the Giant.
Adam Carolla
Whatever. And I got.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We're in this big auditorium or up there, man. He shook my hand and I said, why you got banana hands? And he was like, hold right there, brother. And slapped me on the back. And I was like, I blew my interview. I blew my interview with the Hulk.
Brad Williams
What is even a banana hand?
Jason Mayhem Miller
His hands are just so big, like. And like, it was like bananas, bro. You know what I mean? Like, why do you have banana hands?
Brad Williams
Oh, his fingers were like, long.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. Blew it, bro. 10 year old. That's exactly how I thought.
Adam Carolla
Yep. And you'll never get another chance to make.
Brad Williams
To make good.
Adam Carolla
I don't know if I've ever. I don't think I've ever met Hulk Hogan.
Brad Williams
Never.
Adam Carolla
I don't think so.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I figured everyone at least one interview on the Ace, man.
Brad Williams
Yeah, Bad question, but let's not talk about it.
Adam Carolla
You know what, he get to 72 or something?
Brad Williams
71.
Adam Carolla
71. You know, the over under on those guys are mid-50s, you know what I mean? All the stress and abuse they put themselves.
Brad Williams
Everyone's looking at Ric Flair going, how, how, how, how?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Bridges conundrum is he doing? Same thing.
Brad Williams
Everyone just assumes he's gone. Yeah. The fact that. And this is a meme that's been going around the Internet. So this is not my joke, but the fact that Hulk Hogan was like, say your prayers, eat your vitamins and train every day. 71. Ozzy Osbourne, every drug on the planet. 76.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brad Williams
Have fun, everybody. Let's just say have fun.
Adam Carolla
Well, look, the reality is it's all genes, and we cannot handle genes. Cause genes are the one thing you can't control.
Brad Williams
None.
Adam Carolla
So we go, I need something I can control as a human, and I can't control genes anymore. You can control the color of your eyes. So you go, well, let's get religion. Let's invent religion, and. And let's start talking about coffee enemas and zinc and stress and like everything else and all that is fine. But it doesn't take the place of genes. And it's always weird. I think about this all the time when I hear people talking. Like, they go, oh, look at that model. You know, you got. What's her name, Sweeney, out there doing all her jeans and jeans. And they'll do these interviews and they'll go, what do you eat? They go, oh, I live on In N Out Burger. And then everyone watch them go, shut up, bitch. You don't live on. Yes, she does. She has good. Her genes are fucking better than yours. That's why she looks that way. And by the way, there's no amount of personal trainer or diet that can get your waist to that and get your tits to that and get your ass to that. It's all fucking genes, everyone. Now, now, within the genes, you can move it around a little bit. You can destroy things and stuff like that. But it is so much genes, and nobody really understands. Sydney Sweeney understands how that works. And we don't want to, because. Listen, I just. You know what I watched last night? I watched two parts of the 80s 90s supermodel Naomi Campbell and Cindy Crawford and all that. That group, the Four, you know, Chris.
Brad Williams
Yeah. Chrissy Turlington was one.
Adam Carolla
Chris. Yeah. Chrissy Turlington and then evangelist. All right, all right. Linda Evangelista. Okay, let me tell you how their modeling career worked. It wasn't that they ate sprouts and worked out all day. They turned 15, and then they looked in the mirror and they went, wow, wow. And then someone else saw them and went, hey, wow. That wasn't a workout regimen. There was no face cream. There was no keto diet. There's no nothing. They worked normal jobs. They lived in normal towns. And then at some point, they sprung a pube and they got a mirror, and then they looked in the mirror and they went, whoever's looking back at me is super hot. And then they looked at the chick who's on the COVID of the magazine that they bought at the Piggly Wiggly. And they put it next to their head, standing in front of the mirror, and they went, you know what? I don't think there's anything better there than there is right here. I Got it in DeKalb, Illinois, standing in front of this mirror, and guess who ain't gonna be in the fields during the corn harvest next season? This bitch. I'm gonna be in Milan, okay? And that's how it works. Jeans, jeans, jeans. And then they ride those jeans. And then at some point, time sort of catches up and they can no longer do what they did, sort of like a great athlete, but they can pad another 10, 15 years onto that. Genes, everybody. Yeah. Now, the part where we sell you that this face cream or this coffee enema or this juice cleanse or whatever can make you look like the person that's selling it to you, that's the biggest lie in America.
Brad Williams
Absolutely.
Adam Carolla
It works on women. And they buy all that shit. And that's why Rosetta Stone don't you know summer is here. Maybe you're doing a little traveling. Maybe, maybe, just maybe, you're just sitting by the pool. Either way, why not use that downtime to actually learn something useful like a new language? Rosetta Stone makes it easy. I mean, imagine going on vacation and actually being able to order food without pointing at the menu like a caveman. That's called progress, folks. Dr. Drew uses Rosetta Stone. He speaks really fluent French, but his wife was struggling, and so he told me he gave his wife Suzanne, Rosetta Stone, and it helped immensely. Rosetta Stone's been the gold standard for 30 years. Millions of people, 25 languages. Their true accent tech actually helps you sound less like a tourist and more like you know what you're doing. It's all bite sized lessons fits right in your schedule and you can use it on your phone or desktop. So no excuses. It's Rosetta Stone, right, Dawson?
Brad Williams
Don't wait.
Mike Dawson
Unlock your language learning potential. Now, Adam Carolla show listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit rosettastone.com Adam to get started and claim your 50 off today. Don't miss out. Go to rosettastone.com Adam and start learning today.
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Adam Carolla
You know what? You would much rather someone said, look, you gotta marry a woman, okay? Would you rather wait and the goal is for her to look as beautiful as she can for as long as she can?
Brad Williams
Sure.
Adam Carolla
Would you rather marry someone with a super good work ethic? Like gets up in the morning, does the pilates classes, eats right and does all that? Or a chain smoking slob with great fucking kick ass chains? Give me the slob. Give me the slob. Because the chick who goes to applies class can never look like that. I mean, when you see the models, you see Cindy Crawford, you see Naomi Campbell and he sees people, you go, there's no amount of working. You would have to take yourself, put yourself in a Cuisinart and then pour yourself into a mold of Cindy Crawford to resemble that. By the way, Cindy Crawford. I always feel bad. I don't feel bad for the brother, but the sister. Oh, she has two sisters, I believe.
Brad Williams
It's not like the Bundchons, right?
Adam Carolla
Giselle.
Brad Williams
Yeah, Giselle, who always claims that her sister is prettier than her.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I love it.
Brad Williams
Yeah. But, but also, I like. That's a great comp. You salt a great compliment insult. Oh, no, my sister, she's way hotter than me. Yet I doubt the sister is a multi, multi millionaire banging her Brazilian jiu jitsu instructor.
Adam Carolla
And also.
Brad Williams
So it's like she almost wasted the talents.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, she could be banging a Brazilian. Yeah, but not necessarily that one.
Brad Williams
Now, I don't know, she might be a geneticist or some sort scientist or doctor or whatever.
Adam Carolla
Research. Not if she looks better than Giselle. You don't burn the midnight oil studying for the SATs. When you look better than Gisele. Now this is what you do. Female comedians will do this. They'll be a successful one and then they won't pick another successful one or one that's higher up the food chain than them and go, she's funnier than I am. They pick one you've never heard of who never has a chance at success and maybe opening for them on a good night and goes, tammy's the funnier one. You know what I mean? Because it's safe. It's safe. You see what I'm saying? So she's probably better looking than her sister because it's mathematically hard to get better looking than Gisele Bundchen. Very true. But the thing is, Cindy Crawford has a sister. Two sisters. And they're showing the old family photos when everyone 13 and 9 and 12 or whatever it is. And the one sister. This is the one I feel bad for. Looks a little more like Cindy Crawford than Cindy Crawford, which is possible.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I'm going to prove it with my Swayze Theorem. What? Oh, Patrick Swayze has a brother who looks more Don Swayze.
Brad Williams
Don Swayze looks like now.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Everyone just fucking hold your liquid for a second here.
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And follow me. Don Swayze looks more like Patrick Swayze than Patrick Swayze does. If you were drawing a picture at a deli, a character of Patrick Swayze, you would end up drawing a lifelike picture of Don Swayze.
Brad Williams
Okay.
Mike Dawson
Don Swayze is the early AI version of Patrick Swayze.
Adam Carolla
Yes. And you can find me some photos and prove me. Right. But I do think, just according to the picture I saw, Cindy Crawford's got a sister who looks more Cindy Crawford than her, which. That's the real insult.
Brad Williams
Sure. Wow.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Swayze.
Brad Williams
There's Don.
Adam Carolla
He looks more like Patrick Swayze than.
Brad Williams
Patrick Swayze if he dyed his hair blonde. Absolutely. Done and done.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He looks like a caricature.
Brad Williams
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at those eyes. Good job.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I did not know that that was the actor. That's the actor from Sunny in Philadelphia that plays the guy's dad.
Adam Carolla
Swayze.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, I think so.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he does. It looks like. Like. Like in Knight Rider when they had an evil.
Brad Williams
Yes.
Adam Carolla
David Hasselhoff.
Brad Williams
Yes.
Adam Carolla
It's basically if you did a movie where you need an evil. Like. Like Patrick, we need an evil version. Throw a goatee.
Brad Williams
Right?
Adam Carolla
They always threw a goatee on any evil guy. Always. It's got to be rough. Now you have a goatee. Right. Be mistaken for evil, guys.
Brad Williams
I currently do have a goatee. So, yes, I am evil Brad Williams, which Peter Dinklage would probably argue is just Evil Dinklage.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Is me Evil Dinklage?
Brad Williams
Yeah, I'm Evil Dinklage. That is a good one, that. Yeah. If you told me who was that and gave me no context, I would say, yeah, that's Patrick Swayze right before he passed.
Adam Carolla
So does. Does Cindy Crawford have a sister who looks more like Cindy Crawford? But that's a bitch. Now, if you have a brother, the brother's playing football. He's banging his girlfriend, his sister, Cindy Crawford. That's fine. The sister especially. There's one that's like a year older and she's got a job at the local A and W now while you're in fucking Paris and now you're coming out on the COVID of everything. You probably had a few good arguments, too. That led up into this where you told her she'd never mount anything and everyone hated her because she was ugly or something. Said something or bad ball that's stuck in her craw.
Brad Williams
You know, the male version of this, we got, we got to watch the male version of this play out on television in front of us. Aaron Rodgers brother. Oh yeah, was on the Bachelor or the, or the Bachelorette. He's one of the Bachelors. And just the whole time, whatever woman he was going on a date with kept being like, so, like, could we meet Aaron? Yeah, but, but he looks like Aaron. Yeah, he, like, I, I, I don't know if it's a whole Don Swayze situation, but he looks like Aaron. He's not a bad looking guy. And I believe I could be wrong with this, but I believe at some point Aaron Rodgers brother was also playing football and was like a, like high school quarterback or something. And now that's just, now he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, brother. Yeah, I know. Everyone just wants the brother.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Brad Williams
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but you're right. When you go to, when, when you go to the different gender. Fine.
Adam Carolla
It's fine.
Brad Williams
Whatever.
Adam Carolla
I wish my sister was a millionaire who traveled the world and, and hammered checks. You know what I'm saying?
Brad Williams
Are, are, are these the Crawfords? Who are we looking at?
Adam Carolla
I don't know if it's all, oh.
Brad Williams
Yeah, that's Cindy on the far right.
Adam Carolla
Cindy's on the far right. But I'm going to need to see younger. I need to see pictures when they're young, you know, 14. Like family.
Brad Williams
Well, now that, that's a weird Google search.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Get that out of my head.
Brad Williams
14 year old Cindy Crawford.
Adam Carolla
Google In 14 year old Cindy Crawford with a penis and see what pops up. Yeah, it's also a weird thing because the, you see the mom, you see the dad.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You see the two sisters and it's like, like there's a little pixie dust involved, you know, it's like a comedy. I always tell people you do comedy. A comedy. Making a comedy movie or sitcom or anything. It's like somebody said, I'm gonna make a stew for you, Brad. And then you went, okay, well what do you like? And I go, like beef cubes. Okay. Potato, get some onion. We got some garlic in there. Big chunks of carrot in there.
Brad Williams
Awesome.
Adam Carolla
Beef bro. And stuff.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And at some point I was finishing it and I said, well, here you go, Brad. It's your stew with everything you love in it. And you took a little ladle and you went, yeah, it's all right. You don't know till the end, though. So, like, there's comedies. You put everything in them, and then you just watch it and you go, all right. And it's that way with supermodel. Like, you see the eyes, you see the chin, you see a little in mom, you see a little in dad, you see a little in the sister. But it's just not all just coming together in that perfect order. Yes, yes.
Brad Williams
Well, it's like when you and Drew were together and then everyone tried to duplicate that. It's like, you can't just have comedian position. You can't just have. There. There was a special sauce.
Adam Carolla
I agree.
Brad Williams
There was something unique to you.
Adam Carolla
Well, and that becomes a problem because people go with the format, and they go with the format. And then they would say to me all the time, thank God I was always a douche. I wasn't a douche. But people go, what is it about the format with the sex talk and the doctor? I go, no. No reason the show's successful is because of me and because of Drew. That's all. And they'd go, oh, come on. And they always wanted to get in a format because formats they can work with with right people. Sorry, there's one Drew, there's one ad. But the format. And I would go, no, it's us. And I go, the show's just two guys talking at night. So if you want to try to. And taking calls, go find two guys. Go find two guys.
Brad Williams
But they're not. But they're not going to do. It's the same thing that with Inside the NBA with Shaq and. And. And Barkley, Kenny, Ernie, everyone's. How long have we had post game shows on sports? Since. Since we have sports on television. We've had. We've had post game shows, right? The ma. The magic of those guys together, you cannot duplicate. Cannot.
Adam Carolla
We have a young picture now. Is Cindy on the right? Because, like, far right.
Brad Williams
Okay, that's Cindy.
Adam Carolla
Cindy's on the right. So I'm saying her sister on the left got a little more Cindy Crawford in her than Cindy Crawford.
Brad Williams
I see it. If she took. If she took off the glasses.
Adam Carolla
She's wearing glasses. They're.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
There's no point at this stage where if I said one of them's gonna be a super model and the other's gonna be a housewife from DeKalb. I don't know, Ace.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Look at the size of that head. Like, that's a supermodel head, bro. That little infant. That infant got a big old head.
Adam Carolla
Her sister looks more modely at this stage. She's got a little more Cindy in her than Cindy. But listen, the same thing happened with the Swayzes many years ago.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, they over.
Adam Carolla
I wonder if. I wonder if there's like a Chuck Swayze, the dad who just looked like five Swayzes, you know, Cuz that's a lot of sway in your seed, right? You got a seed sways that strong. I mean, that's like you Now. My dad didn't have a lot of seed power, you know, so his kids just kind of were like, you know, like, whatever. You don't know. My dad was my dad. If you saw him, you would know. My mom is. My mom not. But some people. That Swayze seed, man, that's a potent seed. It's a strong seed.
Brad Williams
Strong Swayze seed. That's a funny alliteration.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Sway's cocky.
Adam Carolla
Party.
Brad Williams
Yeah, buddy.
Adam Carolla
So, yeah, I've been watching. They all figured out they were hot about 15.
Brad Williams
That's how you become a supermodel.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Brad Williams
Figure out you're hot at 15, right.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I don't know. Measure the size of your face.
Adam Carolla
There's always. They always get passed on early for some reason, you know, they always. There's like a Miss Miss Illinois Teen Pageant, and I came in fourth. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like how many bitches in. How many bitches in DeKalb, Illinois, are hotter than Cindy Crawford at 16? You know, but somehow they always. It's. It's. There's always that, you know, it's like when. When the program director wanted me to do a radio show, and I was like, how about I do me and my friend Jimmy? And they're like, he's not talent. He's a behind the scenes guy.
Brad Williams
You're talented.
Adam Carolla
For years, he's hosting the Oscars. You know what I mean? It's like. It's insane how many of those slip through the crack. I guess it's built in. It could go no other way. But Cindy Crawford didn't come in second to Gisele Bundchen, who lived across the street. She came in fourth to a bunch of no names from DeKalb. Yeah, that's the way it works.
Brad Williams
I mean, I don't know if there's some Michael Jordan getting cut from his high school team in there where it's like Cindy needed the extra motivation to get hotter. I don't know.
Adam Carolla
She willed her hotness. I did not do myself any favors. She took that Personally, by going to DeKalb, Illinois. DeKalb, Illinois.
Brad Williams
Because that's her birthplace.
Adam Carolla
It's her birthplace.
Brad Williams
Okay. Okay.
Adam Carolla
DeKalb, Illinois, is the first college Drew and I ever played.
Brad Williams
Oh, wow.
Adam Carolla
And we toured the country. We ended up playing hundreds of them. Played these big 3,000 seat venues with all these college students. There's no act, there's no anything. It was just an hour and a half to kill. And we just walk on stage. And we didn't know what we were doing. It always worked out, but we were driving from Chicago to DeKalb. Look it up, Dawson. It must be. If memory serves, it's about 90 minutes, maybe two hours, like 90 hour, 45 hours of Chicago. But we.
Brad Williams
There's a town in Illinois I haven't toured yet. Yeah, I've been to Peoria, Rockford.
Adam Carolla
It's all cornfields out there.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And it's so funny because they go, you're going in? And they're going, well, we're gonna have dinner with the student union, and then we'll do the show or whatever. And you go, okay. And then you go, what's for dinner? And they go, casserole. And you're like, oh, I'm from North Hollywood. We haven't had a casserole since 77. But this is. We're back in 19. They like casserole, by the way.
Brad Williams
Way, love it.
Adam Carolla
I. Nothing wrong with a casserole.
Brad Williams
Casserole.
Adam Carolla
So.
Brad Williams
Good stuff.
Adam Carolla
They told me. They kept telling me that Cindy Crawford was born there. And this is. By the way. This is. This is, you know, 1997. Cindy Crawford's @ the height of her powers. That's the peak. And they're telling everywhere you want, it's like, you know, Cindy Crawford. And about the 12th person that told me that about. Was like, yeah. But then she turned 15 and she left. So she left. And it's not where you're born that's random. It's where you go to and the place you leave. So it's really an indictment of where's. Where is she now?
Brad Williams
Malibu.
Adam Carolla
Spreading hate on the beach. Spreading hate on the beach with Randy Gerber. So just pour it.
Brad Williams
Just pouring tequila on minorities.
Adam Carolla
Every one of these was born somewhere.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And they're all gone. And now they live here. Yeah. So that's the bragging rights. It's where they moved to, not where they were shit out of, you understand? And everyone got angry at me.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I can imagine so.
Brad Williams
Because. Because until that moment, every girl in DeKalb thought that they could be Cindy Crawford.
Adam Carolla
Well, they still can. They're just gonna have to move to Milan when they're 16 and never return to Cal.
Brad Williams
Have perfect genetics.
Adam Carolla
Yes. 37 minutes from Chicago. Wow. I thought it was a longer. I thought it was a longer haul than that. I just remember being in the back of a stretch limo. They picked you up by the way it smelled. Always smelled. Everything smelled like cigarette smoke, you know, back then, like the back of the limo and me and Drew. 37. How many miles 37 is it? That's what I need to know. I didn't know it was a striking distance of Chicago, by the way. It's in the sticks, man. It's like cornfields everywhere. Like, it is weird.
Brad Williams
Yeah. It's always jarring when you're in, like, one of the big metropolises of our country, like Chicago, and you go 20 minutes out and you're like, oh, there's nothing.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, nothing.
Brad Williams
Oh, wow.
Mike Dawson
57 miles.
Brad Williams
Amazing.
Adam Carolla
That makes more sense.
Mike Dawson
I did some. I did some shows. Some Music shows in DeKalb a long time ago.
Adam Carolla
I did that.
Mike Dawson
That trip. And I was in DeKalb when they had the Corn Festival. The biggest thing in DeKalb is the corn Festival.
Brad Williams
Someone gets.
Adam Carolla
And they called it.
Mike Dawson
Yeah, the Corn Festival. And it really bothered me that they didn't call it corn on DeKalb.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Dawson. Leaving fucking money on the table.
Brad Williams
I don't care.
Adam Carolla
Now, according to my calculations, Dawson, if DeKalb is 57 miles outside of Chicago, in order to make it in 37 minutes, you'd have to average 119 miles an hour. So I may have been right with my initial projection that it was about an hour and a half out.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You're doing the Cannonball Run straight to shoot.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Like, Wiley Coyote probably couldn't have made it on one of his Acme rockets.
Brad Williams
Well, at least we all know the traffic in and out of Chicago is notoriously just wide open.
Adam Carolla
Well, this is not bad at all. But if you want to know my life.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Here's my life that I went to DeKalb once, and one time.
Mike Dawson
I'm sorry, I thought you meant the flight. How long is the flight I missed.
Adam Carolla
From Chicago to DeKalb? Oh, I didn't even know you could fly.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, it's.
Adam Carolla
Yes, you can. Wait, you would fly 57 miles? You can.
Mike Dawson
Expedia has a ride.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Let's get on this plane.
Mike Dawson
Airport into Kalb.
Brad Williams
That's.
Mike Dawson
And it's a 37 minute flight.
Brad Williams
That's incredible.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I think it's pronounced.
Adam Carolla
That is bizarre. To go somewhere that's under 60.
Brad Williams
Under 60 miles.
Adam Carolla
So it'd be like, me, like, you.
Mike Dawson
Can technically fly from Burbank to lax.
Adam Carolla
I guess you can. Oh, you can fly from Burbank to Orange county or whatever. Yeah, but I guess you wouldn't. But the point is, is here's how my brain works. I did this shit 28 years ago, and I've never been back. But I have a recollection of being in the car for a while. So then when I say, how long from Chicago to DeKalb? And Dawson, who owns a computer, says, 37 minutes, I stop and I go, well, this is weird. Cause he's got a computer, and all I have is a distant memory. But my distant memories are good. And I was in that car for a while. And then I stop and I do what annoys everyone. I go, thank you for that. Now tell me the distance so at some point, I can be correct with this. And so, yeah, it took an hour and a half to get there. And they also invented barbed wire there.
Brad Williams
Wow.
Adam Carolla
Which I explained to them as well, wasn't really much of an achievement because barbs and wire already existed. You just made up Reese's Peanut Butter. It's like, you shouldn't take a lot of credit for that.
Brad Williams
You guys looked at a prison, went, how could we keep these people in here more.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Barbed wire. And Cindy Crawford, Hell of a legacy for that town. It's the problem. It's the problem from. Be. From being from la. You know this. I know this. There's no plaque in front of the high school. There's no buzz on the street. Brad Williams. No one gives a. Because there's everybody all the time, and no one gives a shit. You grow up in a. I guarantee if you grew up in DeKalb, there'd be a lot of talk about Cindy Crawford. Bar, bar.
Brad Williams
Brad Williams casserole. And then the Brad Williams Community Theater is still there to this day.
Adam Carolla
Yes. You've seen the plaque on the park bench.
Brad Williams
Exactly.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Theater for ants.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Brad Williams
Yeah. Sunny Hills High School. Why don't you name the theater after me?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you were.
Brad Williams
You were there.
Adam Carolla
You went there.
Brad Williams
I went there. Sunny Hills.
Adam Carolla
I went to North Hollywood High.
Brad Williams
Sounds like a retirement home.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Sunny Hills sounds like somewhere leprechauns come from.
Brad Williams
I mean, you're not wrong.
Adam Carolla
I got Bill. I. I went to North Hollywood High, and I think I get. You know, when they do famous alumni, I think I'm below Christy Canyon, the porn star. I think she's, like, a notch above me.
Brad Williams
To be fair, I've never spanked it to you yet.
Adam Carolla
The day is young. Sit around.
Brad Williams
All right, do a couple more push ups.
Adam Carolla
Let's take a break. We'll do some news. We'll do all that right after this. Morgan and Morgan. All right, let's get real for a minute. Everyone talks about summer being sunshine and backyard barbecues. But you know as well as I do, summer's also prime time for Axis. Every slip by the pool maybe got rear ended on the way to the beach. Well, that's why you need to know about Morgan and Morgan. Good dudes. When I say good dudes, I mean men and women over there met these guys, talked to him a little bit. Good sense of humor. By the way, they brought in more than 25 billion. That's billion with a B for clients just like you. I'm talking about real stories. One Guy Got offered 500 grand for an injury. Ended up with $29 million thanks to Morgan and Morgan. Man, that's a good phone call to make. That's why they're America's largest injury law firm. Am I right, Dawson?
Mike Dawson
Hiring the wrong firm can be disastrous. Hiring the right firm could substantially increase your settlement with Morgan and Morgan. It's easy to get started and their fee is free unless they win. Just visit forthepeople.com Adam or dial pat pound law pound 529. That's for the people.com Adam or dial pound law pound 529. This is a paid advertisement.
Caleb Castille
This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cough, Good Burger and Transformation. Transformers Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay never.
Mike Dawson
Here's a memorable moment from the Adam Carolla Show's ACE Awards archives.
Brad Williams
Listen, this is legendary newsman Ted Koppo. I don't know if you know this. I haven't been on your TV recently. Why is that? Because now I'm hawking porno. And let me tell you, the best porno to hawk is the personal touch. Let me tell you why. It's strictly X. It's hot, it's wonderful. And oh, breaking news. I just blew my balls off to the personal touch. That's right. I had a built in up abnormally large amount of semen in my balls.
Mike Dawson
The 2025 ACE Awards coming this December. Now back to the Adam Carolla Show.
Brad Williams
That's so funny. You said coming this December. I was also coming to the Personal Touch. This is Ted Koppel reporting that my loads are still rather large.
Adam Carolla
I want to hear Bobby Hollander again. I can't get enough of Bobby Holland. And if he went to North Hollywood High, he'd be above me as well. I had a vague recollection, like, years ago that I rented a tape back when people would rent porno tapes called Bobby Hollander's Porn Bloopers. And I was like, well, you know, I like porn. I like comedy.
Brad Williams
I like bloopers.
Adam Carolla
I like Alan Funt. So like Dom DeLuise. So you know what I like Bob Saget. So you know what I love Blooping. This is blooping. This is porn, and it's bloopers. Sign me up. It was horrible. It was horrible.
Brad Williams
But what was your favorite? What were some of the highlights of a porn. Of a porn blooper tape? I got to know.
Adam Carolla
You know, there's always. There's always the jib mic smacking the guy in the ass. You know, it wasn't even funny. It was. I was. It was basically nonsensical. But I remember Bobby Holland, and then I went and looked him up, and then I found this.
Brad Williams
Yeah, I remember I saw Porn Blooper one time on the Internet, and I was like, I, like, sometimes you see a blooper, you're like, that's not. That's not a blooper. That's like assault or a death or, like, that's a crime. It was the guy in the porno scene.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He farted in her face, blew his.
Brad Williams
Load, and then it landed on, like, one of the cameramen.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Biohazard.
Adam Carolla
What that?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Like, that's against Usher.
Brad Williams
Is there an HR department in porn? Because if there is, I think you got a complaint.
Adam Carolla
That's why I stopped doing the double penetration.
Brad Williams
Yeah, yeah, same.
Adam Carolla
All right. Sorry, Bobby.
Brad Williams
I love the whistling.
Adam Carolla
First, hi.
G
You thought it was Alfred, but it's not. My name is Bobby Hollander, and I'd like to introduce you to a tape called the Person Touch. Now, the personal touch is something different in home entertainment. It's strictly adult, strictly X. And it's hot. It's so hot, it's gonna blow your balls off. It's gonna want to make you wet your panties. It's gonna want to make you reach in and grab it. It's gonna want to make it come right on your television screen.
Adam Carolla
Around or on your television screen. I could never figure it out.
G
It stars Shannon Grant, dad, Sharon Mitchell, Paul Thomas, Ron Jeremy, Dominique. A new comet to the screen. Gene Hollow. The personal touch was shot on videotape to give you the finest quality in adult entertainment. It's going to let you, the home viewing audience, get out of your bed, off your couch, out of the box bar.
Brad Williams
I love the music.
Adam Carolla
Watching it too far.
G
We're gonna be into the bathroom in a minute.
Adam Carolla
By the way, who's watching a porn at a bar?
G
I don't mean to say it.
Brad Williams
I don't want to.
G
In an obscene way.
Brad Williams
We.
G
We wanted to make it that way. Shawna Grant in this film, who stars you've seen in Penthouse. You've seen in swank high society.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. All right, the thing that's weird about this, as I was watching this and it's very Boogie Nights. Yeah, Very, very Boogie Nights. And Paul Thomas Anderson. This stars Paul Thomas. Wow. Paul Thomas Anderson must have been hip.
Brad Williams
Did he see the first Bobby Hollander?
Adam Carolla
Well, it's a calling, right? You hear your name wonder they did.
Brad Williams
Some research and then inspired anything.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brad Williams
That's fantastic.
Adam Carolla
All right, do we got some news?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Got some news. Sydney Sweeney's new American eagle Good genes ad is accused of being Nazi propaganda who.
Adam Carolla
Wait, what?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, Everything is being slammed by fans for allegedly promoting Nazi propaganda by a great genes ad. Yeah, here's the ad again.
Brad Williams
All right.
Adam Carolla
Genes are passed down from parents to offspring, often determining traits like hair color, personality and even eye color. My Jeans are blue. Cities 20 has for canes. All right, all right.
Brad Williams
When. Where's the Nazi propaganda coming in?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's just.
Brad Williams
Is it because she's blonde and white?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Is that why you can find it quick Some libs, a tick tock sort of thing where people are trying to cancel them because they're saying, yeah, she's got good genes.
Adam Carolla
Got a little eugenics to it. Listen, everybody, the thing. Okay, here's the thing.
Jason Mayhem Miller
This seems like rage baiting.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. No, I think there's a new world order. You find it in stand up and you find it with TV commercials and stuff. They're leaning into this now. I told everyone, safe spaces and octagons, right? You turn on the tv, you see a Subaru commercial.
Brad Williams
Commercial.
Adam Carolla
It's a mixed gay couple who adopted a sheep. And there's nothing about the car. Then you switch the channel and it's a Dodge Ram truck commercial. And Dana White is screaming america, America, America. While guys are pumping shotguns and doing donuts in the desert in a ram, right? It's literally fireworks, flags, cowboy hats, guns, guns, trucks, In America. So what we're doing, that's the Octagon. Literally, I said to Dr. Drew, Safe Spaces and Octagon for the last 10 years. They're having a UFC fight on the lawn of the White House. It's Dana White is screaming about America on a Dodge commercial. And then the other side is gonna be Vibes and Subarus and lesbians. Okay? This is. That's Safe Spaces in Octagon. So everyone else, Madison Avenue will figure it out. They'll go, look, why don't we piss everyone off and just fucking have a Dodge truck and start waving the flag and have Dana White. And they go, dana White's not a voice. Fuck it, let him do it. Yeah, we'll play the commercial. Tell me this isn't the opposite of every Subaru commercial I've ever seen.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Americans, we can do anything we want, except one thing. We just can't stop being American.
Adam Carolla
Not a lot of diversity.
Jason Mayhem Miller
We just couldn't choose to stop being American. We put Hemi V8s back on the strip and packed eight layers in a seven layered dip. We're body slams and blue suede shoes, rock and roll, jazz and blues, rocking mullets and rap pack suits. Even our grandmas have tattoos Wear NASCAR rockstars, rodeo monster trucks and power boats welcome to our epic show Keep winning on Sunday Move horsepower Monday Shake the earth and carve terrain Rock the anthem like Kenny Wayne. So get out there, take your swing, burn rubber after the American dream Rev your engines and let freedom ring and never, ever, ever.
Adam Carolla
First black guy showed up.
Jason Mayhem Miller
8 minutes in stops America. And nothing stops ram.
Adam Carolla
It's literally zero females. One black guy popped in at the very end. After we saw 129 white faces. They just went, fuck you.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Just to show Brad. Just because it makes me laugh.
Brad Williams
Now let's go to a Subaru commercial.
Adam Carolla
I will show you. I will show you the Volkswagen commercial, okay? Because. Because the Volkswagen commercial from about three years ago and every Subaru commercial and every fucking feel good bullshit. Every commercial for Dove where there's a fat chick trying to sell something, we've all went, fuck it, asshole. No more want Cindy Crawford. I want a fucking Dodge truck. I want a guy jumping a motorcycle. I want a rodeo. I want Kenny Wayne Shepard who does own I Do Believe the Dukes of Hazard car. I do believe. See if Kenny Wayne Shepard owns a replica of the Dukes of Hat. That's the fucker we want in this commercial. All right, this is a commercial from three years ago that led to this. And Trump Okay, It's a sheep dog. Mixed gay culture. Couple adopts a sheep. Life gets bigger when you break from the herd. Nothing about the car, no lease deals, no powertrain warranty, no nothing. Just two homos adopting a sheep. Wow.
Jason Mayhem Miller
To be fair, neither did the Ram. It was the exact opposite of that.
Adam Carolla
Those cars were born. They were burning rubble.
Brad Williams
Donuts.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
There was a. A bull jumping through the air with the cowboy on his back.
Adam Carolla
That commercial gave way to the octagon. Everyone went this.
Brad Williams
You got to go the complete opposite way.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brad Williams
Which is true.
Adam Carolla
And so that's what happens.
Brad Williams
The pendulum swings. But now there's no middle ground. It's just all extremes.
Adam Carolla
The jeans are going it. We're leaning into all this.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Let's have everybody.
Brad Williams
Let's have Sydney Sweeney with an arched back.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I know.
Brad Williams
Telling everyone.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Zipping up the jeans, zipping up her pants.
Adam Carolla
I like. I want to hear her again. She sounds like a person who's talking but bored with what they're saying and about to fall asleep. She's like, I have girl.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, A little raspy crust in her mouth.
Adam Carolla
She's like. She's literally boring herself. Genes are passed down from parents to offspring, often determining traits like hair color, personality, and even eye color. My jeans are blue. Sydney Sweeney has great jeans.
Jason Mayhem Miller
1987. I just squirt.
Adam Carolla
Don't tell me she eats in an out burger. That's all she eats.
Brad Williams
Am I wrong for saying I don't see what's wrong with that commercial?
Adam Carolla
There's nothing wrong with it.
Brad Williams
I don't see anything wrong with that commercial.
Adam Carolla
Now we're at a point where we gotta find Hitlerian comparisons. We gotta go to the beach and find shit. Like, we're looking for everything. That guy with the metal detector in Malibu on the beach beat. He's not looking for metallic stuff. He's looking for eight.
Brad Williams
I've all. And I'm. I've said a version of this for a really long time. If you call everything a Nazi, nothing is a Nazi. So save the word Nazi for the Nazis.
Adam Carolla
I agree. I've.
Brad Williams
Well, I know you've wanted to save the Nazis, but.
Adam Carolla
No, I've said a million times. I opened that a million times. Never been a better time to be an actual race racist. Yeah. You just get lumped in with Sydney Sweeney. Yeah, it'll be awesome. No one will know. Someone will care.
Brad Williams
Says, you know something? That, oh, you're just like that person that one time misspoke. Like one time for a millisecond and then immediately Corrected themselves.
Adam Carolla
If somebody said, did you hear that? Racist that. So any comedian said, you just go, okay, Give me a break. Yeah, I'm sure, sure. It was horrible.
Brad Williams
Yeah. Now, if someone tell. Told me, hey, did you hear about so and so comedian? They said something really racist, I'll go, oh, you mean fucking.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Right.
Adam Carolla
All right, what else?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Next up, astronaut Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau step out for dinner in Montreal one month after she announces split from Orlando Bloom.
Brad Williams
I was just in Montreal last week. Why didn't I run into them?
Jason Mayhem Miller
I don't know. Yeah. They were seen eating at a neighborhood restaurant, La Vieille. People can confirm the duo met with chef Danny Smiles during dinner and headed the kitchen after the meal to thank the staff.
Adam Carolla
Sure. Yeah. What do you think they talk about those two geniuses.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I know. I don't know.
Brad Williams
Trudeau and Katy Perry.
Adam Carolla
Wasn't Trudeau married or to get to get separated or divorced or something? You know, it's a weird thing. So Trudeau's got the deep leg cross. Super chick, like, deep leg cross, right?
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And Obama's got the deep leg cross. And. And Gavin Newsom said all the progressive dudes have the deep crossover to signal that where they're at emotionally with the community and whatever. And it's hard to get deeper than Gavin, but Trudeau gets a real deep leg cross, too. I was watching an interview. Pete Buttigieg, gay guy. No deep leg cross over the top, ankle on kneecap. That's Indiana gay. That in California gay. If it's California, you're gay. You got to twist yourself like Brett's pasta.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He's so gay.
Adam Carolla
Ah. They got separated in 2023. So he was married.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Marriage, yeah.
Brad Williams
Okay. Well, I mean, sure, people can date who they want to date, but here. Here's what I'll say about this, though. I would. I don't think I'll ever be this famous, but I don't want to be so famous to where. When I eat at a restaurant. Restaurant, I. I feel like, okay, all right, I'll go to the back, and I'll say hi to all the staff.
Adam Carolla
Right, Right. Yeah.
Brad Williams
I just want to pay the check and get out.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brad Williams
I don't want to be, like, so famous where it's like, oh, my God, this is a moment for everyone to meet me, so I'm gonna go do this.
Adam Carolla
There's the right amount of famous to be. I've been around that level in. In my life, and it's the part where the manager recognizes you, but the guys in the booth behind you don't. And so you don't. But the manager sends over an appetizer and then does a. You know, somebody sits you at a high top in the middle, and then he goes, let's see if we can do a little better than that.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And then you get moved to a booth. And the one. Just that guy.
Brad Williams
Dude. So I was having dinner one time at one of my favorite places in Vegas. Shout out to them. Herbs and rye. It's way off Strip.
Adam Carolla
Go there all the time.
Brad Williams
Great. Steakhouse, Herbs and rye.
Adam Carolla
Great. Right?
Brad Williams
And they're all open late. Open late. So you can go to a show. You can go to a club. I can do my show. And then when I'm done with my show, done with my meet and greet, I can be like, let's go to herbs and rye steak dinner. Awesome place.
Adam Carolla
Awesome.
Brad Williams
So we go. And there's a line.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Brad Williams
And it's a Friday night or whatever after my show. And I'm like, ah, this sucks. This sucks. I really wanted herbs and r. They do a blue cheese crust.
Jeremiah Castille
It's.
Brad Williams
Oh, it's so good. And then in. One of the people comes out. I'm with a sports reporter who's named Amin Alhassan. And they recognizes us and goes, what are you guys doing in line?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brad Williams
And we're like. And then he just gets us right in.
Adam Carolla
I got that.
Brad Williams
Sat down at a table.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brad Williams
And then had the best damn meal ever. Shout out to herbs and rye.
Adam Carolla
Great. Yeah. You know, place serves good food when people eat with plates at the bar.
Brad Williams
Bar, yes.
Adam Carolla
Now, sushi's something else, and finger food is something else, but I'm talking about a full plate with steak and potatoes at the.
Brad Williams
At the bar. Don't care.
Adam Carolla
Don't eat a booth.
Brad Williams
Don't need a. Whatever.
Adam Carolla
I'm eating here. Yeah. Yep. Can't find a booth. I don't care. I'm eating here.
Brad Williams
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
That's what that place is. When guys. You know, bartenders who are bartenders. Waiters who know their. It's. It's nice. Old school.
Brad Williams
Nothing better.
Adam Carolla
All right, sorry. What else was. We got Katy Perry. I don't know. I don't like this. I don't. Okay. Katy Perry has bangs. I don't think bangs ever helped anybody. I don't think they've helped. I didn't even think they helped.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Fond memories of the era where girls would tease their bangs out over. Like, they look like Bugs Bunny's girlfriend.
Brad Williams
I think in general, you are correct.
Adam Carolla
Correct.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Right.
Brad Williams
I will present a Zooey Deschanel.
Jason Mayhem Miller
There we go. You talk about this straight across, kind of.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I'll end of that.
Brad Williams
I'll present her. But I think in general there. There's always a. I see what you're saying. Exceptions do not prove the rule. So.
Adam Carolla
No, you're right. With the Deschanel.
Brad Williams
Yes. But in general, you are. You are correct.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Imagine we got the Swayze seed together the day Chanel Egg. Oh, man, oh, man. That glorious station LA with the street Swayze seed. How powerful celebrity that would be.
Brad Williams
I just realized something. I now I know why Katy Perry is going for Trudeau. Because her ex husband is Russell Brandt. So she's swinging back the political other side of the pendulum. She's trying to show everyone.
Adam Carolla
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Brad Williams
I know I was married to that guy, but I don't agree with that. So now I'm going complete other direction.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I thought she was trying to get on the Canadian side. Space Force.
Adam Carolla
I wonder.
Brad Williams
Yeah, she's going to the other side now.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I mean, okay. I guess it sort of means. Well, anyway, she seems like she's going a little cuckoo, but. And I forgot about the Russell Brand part. Yeah, okay.
Brad Williams
Yeah, so she. Yes, yeah, she was married to Russell Brand and now you know, Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom after that.
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah.
Brad Williams
And we don't know Orlando's politics. But maybe, maybe after all of the allegations that are being thrown Russell's way, she's like, whoa, whoa, I'm female leg cross guy over there. That's who I'm with. I'm not. Don't think I'm with this guy. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's what I like.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, they're always the thing that's weird about Russell Brand, who I like. He's been on this show and he's a very good talker and he's a very interesting thing. Every two and a half years, something comes up and it's like, oh, this looks bad. And then nothing. It's just a whole bunch of stuff and then it's nothing. He's basically a one man Epstein list. It's like, oh, it's gonna drop. Oh, man, Dan Bongino's pissed, man. That shit's coming out. You better fucking. You better lawyer up it. And then three years goes by like nothing and then something and then nothing else will happen. And then something and then nothing. It's. It's a weird thing with Russell. It's like something, and it's like, oh, he's going away forever now. He's Going to, they're going to lock him up in a bell tower in England. Then nothing.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, you just gave TMZ blue balls for.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Brad Williams
That, that, that's what Katy Perry's doing. She's going to the other side to show like, this is where I'm at.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brad Williams
Right now. That's my prediction.
Adam Carolla
Sorry, go ahead.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, Next up, man, Ozzy Osbourne says he, he did not want his funeral to be a mope fest and he's hoping that everybody rocks out for him on Tuesday. The Birmingham, they already got the mop fest.
Adam Carolla
They already have that so called the Lilith Fair.
Brad Williams
He, he already had the best funeral ever.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, yeah.
Brad Williams
He was alive for it.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Brad Williams
He was there. That was the, that was that thing, that show that he did back at the beginning. Black Sabbath. That's the greatest send off anyone's ever had. He, he goes there, he's like, hey, he, he knew he didn't have a lot of time left. He said it in interviews afterward. And he has bands flying in from all over the world. Bands like Metallica, Pantera flying in, doing 15 minute sets. Why? Just to tell Ozzy thank you and you are good.
Adam Carolla
Great.
Brad Williams
He gets that moment with the crowd, the last shows. That's it. You won. That's the greatest funeral ever.
Adam Carolla
You sit in a throne and you get a rock and roll funeral. Yes. While you just sit there and are adored by every band you've influenced.
Brad Williams
He plays Mama I'm Coming Home. Not a dry eye in the house. And he got, he got to see the love that he earned. He didn't. It didn't wait until after he died and then everyone comes out. No, he got it in that moment. That's the greatest send off of all time. I can't think of one time, the.
Adam Carolla
One time I have my Kelly Osborne story, because it's the one time I thought I was in trouble. Because when I did Loveline, I'd always go, women know nothing about World War II. Nothing, nothing, nothing. There's never been with a woman that's known anything about World War II. Now guys get into it, but listen, you don't need to take deep dives, but as an American, you should know rudimentary facts about World War II. So I made that proclamation and then Kelly Osborne announced, because she was in the studio, oh, I know everything about World War II. And I thought, never a good sign. I hate being shown up this way. But you're like a 17 year old chick at the time. You know everything about yes. And then I said, why? And she said, I would sit with my dad and watch World at War every night. His dad was born. London was still bombed out when Ozzie made it to the planet. Yeah. So there was.
Brad Williams
It was still rubbly so.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. When. When he got. When he got here. Yeah. Because he would have been born in 48, I think, as I think about it, said died in 77.
Brad Williams
Yeah, 76. Yeah, 76, I believe.
Adam Carolla
All right, so he would die. He was born in the 40s. I mean, the war was over in 45, but anyway, still. Yeah. I live in La Canada. If it was bombed by Nazis for five years and then I was born four years later, I'd hear some story, sure. I'd go, where's the Whole Foods? There's just a crater.
Brad Williams
There's been some rumblings.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Yes. So he grew up 48. December, though, late. Well done, Ozzie Bourne. So right after the war, and so she said, I sat with my dad and he would endlessly watch these things, and I would sit with him. And I was like, oh, shit, I may have met my match.
Brad Williams
Got a ringer.
Adam Carolla
All they did is sit and watch these things. I said, all right, well, let's start broad and we'll narrow it down to gliders over Dunkirk or something. She goes. I go, who were the Allied and access forces? Who were the big. Who fought who? And she goes, oh, that's a trick question. I go, oh, boy. All right, well, I think I may have won this one. I couldn't start with Japan fought America, America fought Germany. I didn't ask her what side New guinea was on. You know what I mean? Like, I used to. Give me the broad stroke.
Brad Williams
Give me the general in the Pacific.
Adam Carolla
Just give me the general.
Brad Williams
Yeah. What were the numbers? I was in front, like, you didn't say that.
Adam Carolla
You could have left Rush out. You could have said England. America were fighting Japan and Germany or something, if you want to. Sure, I would have. Nothing. Got nothing. Said it was a trick question. And I was like, my point has never been proven. More than that. Still under protest to this day, by the way. Still doesn't. Like. I do not think you're allowed to argue that. You know a lot. Like, I couldn't call myself a Super bowl expert if I didn't know the name of either team that played in the Super Bowl.
Brad Williams
Yeah. You're like, well, who played in the last Super Bowl? Well, how would anyone know?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Trick question.
Brad Williams
I. I am an expert on the Denver Broncos. All right, who's the greatest Broncos quarterback of all time. Well, why, well, why would I have that information?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. Ozzy got the greatest send off ever. You're right. What was it, two, three weeks early? Yeah. So that's it.
Brad Williams
Ever like he got. He got that love pretty wild. It's insane, man. It's in. I think they're doing a doc on that concert or that concert's gonna be made available to watch at some point. But yeah, I can't wait. Take all my money.
Adam Carolla
All right. We're gonna talk to a couple of interesting guys, former NFL players, filmmakers and football players. They've got a really interesting dock out about Alabama, baby. Man, good stuff. Let me wait for them, but let me give Brad a plug. Brad's doing shows all over the place and Brad's a really good stand up comedian. And if you want to buy some tickets, I would suggest you do it. And the way you do it is you go to bradwilliamscomedy.com Correct. Mayhem. I don't know. You got a place that you want people to go? Yeah, Mayhem.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Start my own show. Check.
Adam Carolla
Check it out. I'm gonna be at Portland at Helium's cool club over there August 7th, doing a couple shows there. And we'll talk to Caleb and Jeremiah right after this. Homes.com. mm. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. I would say that maybe because homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory so you know everything. Or Maybe it's at. Homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Or Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site. That's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com and by the way, that's why I like to go there and see what's cooking in the neighborhood. Homes.com We've done your homework.
Caleb Castille
This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay never.
Adam Carolla
Foreign.
Brad Williams
Definitely not a Jew.
Adam Carolla
On the Adam Carolla show.
Brad Williams
Dateline, Clearwater, Florida.
Mike Dawson
A 49 year old man was arrested.
Adam Carolla
For disorderly intoxication in the parking lot of Applebee's at the time, the man was wearing a wig, fake breasts and a pink thong.
Brad Williams
Definitely not a Jew.
Adam Carolla
Caleb Castile has joined us. He has a doc out along with his dad as well. Nothing but a winner. It'll be nationwide released coming up any day now. July 31st. Good to see you, Caleb.
Jeremiah Castille
Great to see you. Very interesting intro right there.
Adam Carolla
It's an old joke and a long story, but Alabama. Okay, first off, so I got the doc, it wouldn't download, so I watched the trailer. The trailer spectacular. I make documentaries, so I know good documentaries when I see documentaries. My first thing I thought as a documentary filmmaker, it's like so much footage, so much ncaa, Alabama national title stuff. Were you able to clear all of that stuff or how did all that work?
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah, well, I mean, it helped us having a great relationship with the University of Alabama, obviously. Right. Which goes all the way back to my dad going there as an 18 year old in 1979 and playing through 82 under coach Bryant and. But to answer your. Your question, as far as the. From the perspective of filmmaker and producer, yeah, it was like, it was tough. But the secret was like going into the archivals, like going all to the museum that they had have. Right. So it's like already getting a lot of the awesome stuff that they've already cleared and not having to go and, you know, pay all these people for game. Right. Footage and all of that stuff. So a lot of the archival that you see was stuff that was already cleared.
Adam Carolla
So you play free. You played corner for Alabama on two national championship seasons?
Jeremiah Castille
Yes, sir. Sure did. Sure did.
Adam Carolla
That corner's a dream. That's a dream job. And I just think, I don't know why. I grew up playing football. I love playing football. I was good enough to get a scholarship in high school, but I was not going anywhere with it. But somehow, while everyone else sort of fantasized about playing the quarterback or the running back, I'd fantasize about playing the cornerback. I just thought that was the coolest position out on the field. So much potential good and so much potential bad. Right.
Jeremiah Castille
That means you must have had a lot of confidence, Adam. You know, like, it's a position that takes tons of confidence. It takes like a willingness to just put, like be out there by yourself in essence, right? Like you're a man on an island and you're, you're guarding what you know is probably going to be their best player on the field.
Adam Carolla
Field.
Jeremiah Castille
And look, if it doesn't go your way, everyone sees it, you know, what I mean, so my dad as a corner, always talked about having a short memory when you, you know, when it, when a play doesn't go your way and going back to the line of scrimmage and lining it up again. But yeah, I mean, DB is a pretty flashy position. It's a fun position to play. Play when things go your way.
Adam Carolla
Your dad, your dad played in the NFL as a, as a cornerback, right? And I think it's cool. I mean, obviously they've always had some, you know, pretty cool defensive backs going all the way back, but, you know, Deion probably, Sanders probably brought the real sort of modern swagger to it, although there's always been some, some good guys out there. So. Listen, the thing I love about football, and it's in the trailer and it's in the DOC is it's like teamwork, discipline, will, execution team, just the kind of stuff. Every lesson you want your son and or daughter to learn in life is right there. It's all there. Every, every single aspect of what it takes to be a good citizen and a good parent and a good employee and a good everything, a good dad. It just, it's all in football. In. And the, and the fact that I tell people all the time, like, you know, they go, oh, you don't want your kid playing football. You don't want to. I go, no, I do. I want all that stuff. That's the most important stuff you can give somebody. And everything I got is from that. I didn't have it at home, I didn't have it at school. I only had it with the coaches and the practice in the field. And then at some point I couldn't play anymore and I just took that in another direction and use it every day. Do you feel that way?
Jeremiah Castille
I 100% feel that way. I mean, look, I wasn't. I played behind and across from two, two first round picks, right? Drake Kirkpatrick was the first first round pick and then Dean Milliner was a first round pick. So, like, I didn't spend a lot of time on the field, as you can imagine. Imagine Adam, you know, and so you, you, that comes down to what, like, okay, if I don't, I'm not getting my way as, as far as playing time, I still have a role to play here, right? And learning that as a young man, learning how to play your role, do what you can do for the greater good of the team, the overall result of the team and the benefit of everyone, right? That's, that's early adversity to Me that, I believe was very important in shaping who I am today and taking those values from Coach Saban into, you know, being a producer and actor and sort of working my way through this crazy business. And, you know, one of the. One of my favorite stories, Adam, you know, in line with this is like, we're practicing to go. I can't remember which specific game. I believe. I believe it was a national championship game game. It had to have been. This is my sophomore year going to play in New Orleans against lsu. And at the time, I was a through and through scout team guy at this time. So it's like you're really playing your role, right? And we're doing a special teams drill the week of practice before we leave, and I'm all jacked up, and I come off of the line of scrimmage and I come back and I block the punt. And in my mind I'm like, oh, hell yeah, you know, I showed him. And like that, you know, that's a good play. And as I'm running, as I'm jogging around to go back and line up again, Coach Saban just lays into me. And I can remember like it was yesterday. Catherine, still, it's not about you. You know, it's like. And it was right, like this Drew was not about me. And cool, sure, you. I hustled, I made a great play. But that wasn't what was in the design of that play. We needed to prepare our punt return team to go down to LSU and play this game. Right?
Adam Carolla
Right.
Jeremiah Castille
So me blocking the punt and showing out as the fourth string guy on scout team right now is not in the best interest of what we need to do in the time we needed to get it done. So. So to your point, man, it's just lessons like that, right? And coming from a family, this lineage of successful football players that I come from, and, you know, you want to prove yourself and do these things, but I think it's those little lessons right there, and it only takes one time of coach, Coach Saban chewing your ass out to really, you know, have something and hit home. And I never forgot that. And I think for me, like being a producer, storyteller, it's like you have all these moving pieces. You have to be able to just trust, right, Your people to get things done. They got to be able to trust that you're going to get your job done. And I think that that is what has carried over from being on a team sport like football.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I wish more people had that experience. They're so Much easier to work with. And even had this theory about former NFL offensive lineman, which is sort of the lowest of the excitement. The cornerbacks exciting the quarterback and everything. But I had this theory because I started noticing a lot of these former former interior NFL offensive linemen were really successful outside of the NFL. And I realized, oh, it's all teamwork. It's all sacrifice. It's all given. If you're going to be an offensive lineman, all you do is help other people. You just block so someone else can score the touchdown. You just. Everyone else is celebrating in that it's all in service of somebody else else. You know what I mean? And it's pretty thankless, especially if you're doing it in high school or pee wee football or something, and you're just blocking for somebody else who gets all the glory and the cheerleaders and everything. And later on when you're done, you take that mentality into the business world and it works.
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And that's. Whereas the showboating wide receiver, who's used to all the accolades doesn't have that same success in business after they retire. Not statistically like the linemen do, because it's a different work. It's a different discipline, you know, and for them, they're used to being in the limelight and number one and getting all the applause and all that. And now it's a different one world for them. It's interesting. But I do think every lesson you sort of need in life is there. It's basically in the football. It's in football and the military, but the military is just football and football is just the military. Right. I mean, essentially, guys.
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah. If you ask.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jeremiah Castille
I was gonna say, if you ask those guys who played back in my dad's day, and you know, those Junction boys, they would. They would. They would definitely agree, you know?
Adam Carolla
Well, I don't.
Jeremiah Castille
Those guys that were dying on the.
Adam Carolla
Football field, I don't think people. I try to explain it to younger women all the time. Like, they go, you gotta. You can't talk that way. I go, you don't understand the way people used to talk to people and what they would do. First off, Alabama, it's gotta be hotter than hell out there when your dad was playing. Your dad's 66. Is he years of age?
Jeremiah Castille
He's 64.
Adam Carolla
Oh, 64. Yeah. Yeah. First off, see, it says my bio says 66. That's why I'm not wrong. 64. They thought water was bad for you. Okay.
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
They thought you would cramp up if they gave you water. And so they would just run you and run you and run you and torture you in the sun and that's all. And all they're trying to do is break you somehow or something. I didn't even know what it was, but I got the same treatment. And I wasn't even playing for Bear Bryant, you know.
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah, yeah. And the salt tablets, too.
Adam Carolla
Salt tablets.
Jeremiah Castille
It's like, let's dehydrate them even more.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. At some point they figured out, I guess people need to hydrate a little if we're running them out in the sun. But I always thought a lot of it was just psychological, like they're just trying to break you. They would say you'd be running wind sprints in the hot. I grew up in the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles. Same, hotter than hell. And you'd be running, and at some point the coach would come, go, are you tired, gentlemen? And if you said yes, then they'd go, because you're in bad shape. We got to keep running. And if you said no, they would say, good, we're going to do more wind sprints. So there wasn't really any correct answer to are you tired?
Jeremiah Castille
Lose, lose, situation right there.
Adam Carolla
Oh, we'd be doing wind sprints and they'd yell at you if your mouthpiece was out. You know, like, stupid, stupid stuff. But it was all just torture, right?
Jeremiah Castille
You know, all those things where, where you, like, you know, if you're. What if you're. If you're bent over, you know, it's a sign of weakness and there's nowhere down there, gentlemen, and all that stuff, you know, it's. Yeah, man. I mean, I don't know all of that adversity. Good for you.
Adam Carolla
Did Saban. How tough was he at practice? This.
Jeremiah Castille
Oh, I mean, the toughest. Like, the only thing that separated their practice mindsets, Coach Saban and Coach Bryant was the NCAA and the rules. Right. I mean, Coach Saban, if he could have when I was there, I mean. And the rules have only gotten more and more strict. Like, I don't even think they can have two a day. I don't even think they have really have two a days now. Now in college ball or any level, really. I don't think they have two of eighth anymore. But yeah, I mean, he was. He was tough as nails, man. And Coach Saban had a philosophy and understood that if he had guys that could run all day and all night at any position, position, we're gonna win ball games because, you know, not only is he, you know, we have five stars backing up five stars, right? Like, I used to just sit on the sideline sometimes and watch our big guys substitute in and out, right? You imagine as a, as a, you know, left or right tackle, you're getting your ass whooped all day, day by one guy who's just an absolute beast, can go all day, has a crazy motor, you know, one of these guys like Courtney Upshaw or Dante Hightower, right? And then all of a sudden that guy leaves out on third, you know, second or second down, and the third got third down, guy comes in, that's just a different version of him, probably even faster, you know what I mean? But yeah, Coach Saban was just so tough. But in. One of the things that made him tough was this understanding that, like, my guys are going to be able to run. And that's what we did, Adam, day in, day out, in season, out of season, we just ran. Did.
Adam Carolla
Now, see for you, obviously you're blue chip recruit or you don't end up at Alabama and your legacy because your dad was a star there. But you got to make a decision because, you know, you go to Alabama and there's a whole bunch of talent on that team and now you're not the guy you were in high school because there's so much insane talent around you that you're not getting the playing time that you may have been used to or wanted. Now, if you'd gone to, I don't know, ucla, then you'd be starting. I mean, you wouldn't have to go to a junior college or anything. You just have to go to a school that was not Alabama, you know, maybe just a couple of rungs down from Alabama, you know O'Reilly Auto Parts? Yeah, man. Man, I've been to a lot of O'Reillys around here. I've been to two different O'Reilly's in like the last three weeks. Had to get the battery charge and I don't know if those things are called. They didn't have them when I was. You had to get. It's like a jumper box. Charge it up. Pow. Hit that battery. Man, that would have saved me a lot of heartache when I was young. Anyway, O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service and the parts knowledge you need for all your maintenance and repairs as well. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, they are friendly. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us online at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam this summer, Pluto TV is.
Caleb Castille
Exploding with thousands of free movies. Movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay never.
Adam Carolla
But then you got the pressure because your dad went there. So how did that work with you?
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah, so what's interesting is my first scholarship offer was from Auburn of all places. You know, obviously our, you know, our rival there in Alabama. And, and I was a, I was an athlete, what they call. So like I played a couple different positions and Coach Saban was really the one who talked me into playing db, you know, coming to college and playing db. I did. And I also had a bunch of different looks and opportunities from the UCLA's of the world and different SEC schools and some ACC schools to, to go and play offense. But I had, yeah, you talk about how my dad influenced this decision I made to go and play for Coach Saban instead of going to one of these other schools and playing offense. You know, all of those other schools that were, that were offered me an opportunity to come play ball had losing records. And by definitely that it was like, hey, this is simple, man. Like, you don't want to be on a losing program. Like, you don't want to go to a losing school. And this man has a tremendous ability to shape men and shape your character. This is a process that lasts four years and know it'll be hard as hell and it'll feel like it's never going to be over. It's going to be over in this, in the snap of a finger, blink of an eye, and you gotta go and live your life and, you know, shoot, this many guys make it to the league, it's a 1% chance and you know the statistics. So I just made that decision, Adam, based off of like, okay, where am I gonna have the best opportunity to win in life? And, and I chose Alabama. And if I could go back, I would choose Alabama every single time. So. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Are there other docs you're working on? Cause as a guy who makes docs, they just sort of begat the next one. You do one and then you start making docs and then you start looking at life through the lens of, ooh, that'd be a good idea for a doc. Yeah. So why don't I do one about that guy know? And then you immediate. And then people come to you and they go, hey, I got an idea for a doc. So other doc ideas your talk kicking around?
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah, we got some stuff on deck that we're, that we're talking through and we got a doc that we're going to focus on probably after this NFL and college season that'll have to do with like the Rooney rule and black coaching. Black coaches in NFL and college. And you know why you sort of see this sport that is, you know, more so dominated by African Americans, but such a small percentage of African American men who are, you know, in these coaching positions. And so we're, we're exploring that. Which would be sort of a, I don't know, almost in sorts, maybe a prequel to. To like qb. That black QB that you saw on Amazon with, that had Mike Dick and Jalen Hurts and all of those guys. So it's kind of similar to that, right? Of like, you know, because. Because it's not like, it's not a poor me story. It's like there have been some amazing black coaches that have pioneered and kind of broke it through the ceiling. The Tony Dungy is obviously the Mike Tomlins and Mike Singletaries and all of that. So it's interesting to me though, that angle of like, okay, you don't really see, you know, it's not like across the NCAA and across the NFL, you're seeing this massive amount of black coaches and sort of answering the question of why is that, you know, And I think that is what at the core of being a swear maker and especially a documentary filmmaker is like, we're just asking questions and you know, it's like up to the audience to sort of formulate their own, you know, POV around these things. But I think that's what I love about docs, them the most. Right. It's kind of like going in and sort of saying like, this is what happened or this is what's happening and just, you know, giving it to people.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it sometimes. Sometimes there's docs that try to shape things a little bit more than others and they take an artistic license, I'd call it, if I was being nice. And you can edit. There's storytelling, obviously, you know, and I like them down the middle and draw your own conclusions. But sometimes it's hard when you're making it to not sort of rub some of your own stink on it just because you have opinions about stuff or you're trying to. You're trying to make a point, you know what I mean? Sometimes.
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And I know, listen, I made a doc about the first black driver at Indy called Uppity with the Willie T. Ribs you would probably enjoy if you're doing kind of first black coach or quarterback kind of thing. Yeah, I did the first black at first driver to Indy, which, by the.
Jeremiah Castille
Way, there's a book too. Is there a book?
Adam Carolla
No, there's no book. Okay. There was a book on Paul Newman, the actor race car driver that I read. So then I made a doc on Paul Newman race car driving. And then there we go. The guy who got Willie T. Ribs into race car driving was basically Paul Newman back in the day. So then we were interviewing Willie T. For the Newman doc. And then like I said, when we were done, we said, well, that guy's his own doc. Because we ended up talking to Willie T. So much and then decided to do the Willie T. Doc, which is again, the first black driver at Indy. Came like a full 10 years after the first female driver at Indy.
Jeremiah Castille
Oh, wow.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Janet Guthrie, I think drove at Indy In, I don't know, 77, maybe Willie 87 or something like that. Went back. Wow. And yeah, lives outside of Austin. Good dude. Son shoots professional.
Jeremiah Castille
Really cool.
Adam Carolla
Son's a professional skeet shooter, by the way.
Jeremiah Castille
Who knew?
Adam Carolla
Well, when you see the black guys, you don't normally think indie driver and skeet shooter. When you think sports, Lower percentage golf.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Jeremiah Castille
I'm like these guys from Talladega, Alabama or. Where are they from?
Adam Carolla
Well, Willie is from out in Northern California, actually. Los Angeles guy. Oh, not Los Angeles guy, but a California guy. An interesting story. If you wanna see a doc that has some of those same qualities to.
Jeremiah Castille
It, I love that. I'll definitely check it out.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that sounds awesome. I think you'll like it. Made it on a few good lists. Yeah. So that's what you do. You start making a doc, and then you start thinking about your next doc, and then you start thinking about your next doc. But you do acting as well.
Jeremiah Castille
That's what you can't scratch. Scratch. Yeah, yeah. I'm an actor as well. Yeah, I'm an actor as well. But I mean, I. I full blown, basically took, you know, a year and a half of or more really. I mean, the full process of nothing but a winner was four years from concept to now going to screen. But I also did a. A docu series I exec produce called the Tides that Bind. And that was a in season follow along of coast aboard Coast D'S first season at Alabama. We sold that to Fox Nation. They, they have that. And so my whole, I mean, the past two years of my life have really been, since I left tv, has really been just producing.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's been in. It's rewarding. I think it's important. I think it's a nice thing that can be shared and left behind and other generations and all that kind of stuff. And I like formatically that in a short period of time you can be an expert on, on Alabama football or Willie T. Ribs without having to read three books or go to the library or whatever. It's kind of nice, it's digestible and if you do it right, you make it entertaining. And then people are learning all about a new subject while being entertained and not really even knowing it. I'll give it a plug. Nothing but a winner. Nationwide release July 31st. I would tell people, go look at the trailer and if you're not moved by it and you don't think it's a real nice doc, you don't have to see in the theaters. But I think when you see the trailer, you'll get what we're talking about.
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah, it is. And it's interesting where like in just my lifetime, like where docs have come from, like I remember whatever, like growing up as a 90s kid, it's like my mom was, was our elementary school librarian. So like, you know, the only place or world I saw docs was either on PBS or you go to that section of the library where they were all on VHS at the time or whatever. And you can category about animals or science space, you know, these documentaries in that format. But now, now it's become, it's, I mean the genre of sort has become so popular. A lot of people we talk to is like, oh yeah, I love documentaries. And I think it is for that reason you're talking about Adam, where it's like, you know, you know, people are reading less and less books and it's like, sit me down. Give me the, you know, this entertaining version of this thing that I can also learn from. And they eat it up.
Adam Carolla
Here's what I would say about a doc. If you go and sit down and watch a movie and it's a turd and you go, oh man, I just watched whatever, 90 minutes, two hours of whatever it is and it's a turd. You just go, well, I just wasted two hours of my life. I'm never going to get back back with nothing. No nutrition, all empty calories. You know, you can watch a doc, and you can go, all right, I'm just gonna watch that doc on Pee Wee Herman. And then you go, how was the doc? And you go, well, I don't know. It wasn't that good. But I'm an expert on Pee Wee Herman now. Ask me any question about Pee Wee Herman versus a crap move where you got nothing. At least you got some nutrients in there. And when it's done right, it's a. I was entertained. And I'm an expert on Pee Wee Herman. Caleb, good talking to you. Sorry, by the way. Yeah.
Jeremiah Castille
Oh, no, go ahead, go ahead. No, I was gonna just ask you, what's your favorite doc right now?
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Jeremiah Castille
What's the one that you've watched?
Adam Carolla
Don't let me. All right, I don't want to get too preachy here, kids, but listen to me. Listen to me. Me, I watched. I am going to watch nothing but a winner. I love football. I love everything about football. I ended up then watching a doc on the supermodel Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, and whether Evangelista and I ended up watching supermodels. Okay? The whole point is, what do supermodels in football have to do with each other? Other? The answer is nothing. Nothing. But you should be learning about everything. You know what I mean? Stop watching docs based on what you're into. Watch docs and get into other stuff, you know? And it drives me nuts when ladies go, well, I don't like football. I don't like cars, so I'm not. That's why you should be watching doc 100%. I watch docs on black backup singer from Motown, you know what I mean? Because I want to learn about stuff. So don't have categories of only watching stuff you know about. That's just gonna mean, you know, more about one thing. You know what I mean?
Jeremiah Castille
That's good.
Adam Carolla
Be real broad with your docs. All of them are good. And the ones you know nothing about can be better because you go, wow. Can you believe that? I didn't know that. I didn't know that.
Jeremiah Castille
Yeah, that's really good.
Adam Carolla
You know, docs are. It's like saying, what's your favorite food? I don't know. It's all different, but good versions of Mexican and good versions of Italian, good versions of sushi. You know what I mean? Just spread it. Spread it all the way around. But, yeah, watch Uppity. The Willie T Ribs story. I think you'll vibe with that.
Jeremiah Castille
I'll check it out, man. Absolutely.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I think it's all I don't know. It was on Netflix for a while. Oh, no. Was it on Netflix? I can't remember. And we've made a bunch of them, so you might enjoy that. I'll watch Nothing but a winner and then, Caleb, you can come back when your next one comes out. My man, the coaching. Oh, yeah.
Jeremiah Castille
I appreciate it. Absolutely. Absolutely. I'll be back. I appreciate you letting us come on and talk about this thing and, man, it's going to be exciting. You know, it's. I didn't think it would be. I honestly didn't know what type of deal we would end up with. But, you know, nationwide release, not bad. Well, we'll see what happens.
Adam Carolla
And for super excited, that's. That's high praise. Good to meet you, Caleb. We'll talk to you soon. Take care.
Jeremiah Castille
Yes, sir. Take care.
Adam Carolla
All right. Nothing but a winner. And of course, me, me, Portland. Coming up, Helium. August 7th and then August 31st. Torrance, mom said yes, formerly Dan. And you go to kroll.com for all the live shows. Until next time, sign up for Caleb and Brad and Mayhem saying mahalo.
Mike Dawson
Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail. We want to hear from you at 888-634-1744 and then get on your computer, bro. And get tickets to see adam carolla@adamcarolla.com.
Caleb Castille
This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto tv Stream now pay Never. This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now pay never.
Jeremiah Castille
Not all meals are created equal.
G
For instance, breakfast has the spicy egg McMuffin for a limited time and lunch doesn't.
Adam Carolla
McDonald's breakfast comes first.
Summary of "Keeping Our Beaches Hate Free with Brad Williams + The Rise of the University of Alabama’s Football Dynasty" – The Adam Carolla Show
Release Date: July 30, 2025
In this lively episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla engages in an animated discussion with Brad Williams, a fellow comedian, touching upon themes of comedy, societal issues, and personal anecdotes. The episode also features insights from Caleb Castille and Jeremiah Castille, who discuss their upcoming documentary on the University of Alabama’s football dynasty. Below is a detailed breakdown of the key topics covered, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps for reference.
[00:00 - 03:07]
Adam Carolla kicks off the episode by introducing Brad Williams, highlighting his burgeoning career in stand-up comedy. Brad shares details about his upcoming shows across various cities, emphasizing his unique comedic style that blends humor with sharp societal observations.
Notable Quote:
Brad Williams [01:50]: "Thank you for naming my future podcast Small Talk with Brad Williams. I think that's going to work."
[06:28 - 10:55]
A significant portion of the conversation delves into the controversial "Keep Our Beaches Hate-Free" signs installed at Malibu beaches. Adam criticizes the allocation of municipal funds towards such signage instead of addressing more pressing issues like fire safety.
Notable Quotes:
Adam Carolla [08:29]: "I got a thought, which was I was driving through Malibu PCH, looking at all the destruction, all the work... Water to fight a fire... versus the problem of hate on the beach in Malibu."
Brad Williams [08:25]: "Adam, you're getting worked up about this and you're actually getting angry, which is a synonym of hate. So you need to read the sign. Calm down. Okay. Keep the hate off that beach."
[10:55 - 19:54]
The duo debates the effectiveness of public signs in combating social issues like hate crimes. Brad argues that while signs may raise awareness, they often fail to produce tangible results, suggesting that more direct actions are necessary.
Notable Quotes:
Adam Carolla [12:00]: "Every second you devote to that process is a second you don't devote to clearing brush and filling aqueducts."
Brad Williams [14:36]: "They think signs are so powerful... If they're committed to doing something monstrous, they're not gonna be like, 'Ah, well, I'm not the right gender. I can't go in this.'"
[20:38 - 29:57]
Adam shares personal stories about experiencing hate, including incidents at beaches and the challenges of reporting such events. The conversation underscores the limitations of relying solely on signage to deter hateful behavior.
Notable Quotes:
Adam Carolla [24:14]: "We're spending money on it. Nobody does."
Brad Williams [25:24]: "People give way too much respect to signs. They think signs are so powerful."
[29:58 - 54:38]
A humorous yet critical discussion ensues about the modeling industry's focus on genetics, questioning the portrayal of supermodels and the unrealistic standards they set. Adam laments the overemphasis on genetics over personal effort in achieving beauty.
Notable Quotes:
Adam Carolla [39:00]: "There's no amount of personal trainer or diet that can get your waist to that and get your tits to that and get your ass to that. It's all fucking genes, everyone."
Brad Williams [47:36]: "I think they ride those jeans. And then at some point, time sort of catches up and they can no longer do what they did."
[54:38 - 85:56]
Adam and Brad delve into the nuances of fame, sharing anecdotes about interactions with celebrities and the often superficial nature of such encounters. They discuss the challenges of maintaining authenticity amidst public recognition.
Notable Quotes:
Adam Carolla [61:00]: "So why don't I do one about that guy know? And then you immediate."
Brad Williams [84:56]: "You gotta have the hand down. Your stupid idea about, hey, don't you think you would hate. It's not a problem. It's not a fucking problem. Let's just... put your hand down."
[95:52 - 128:37]
The episode transitions to an insightful segment featuring Caleb Castille and Jeremiah Castille, who introduce their documentary "Nothing but a Winner". The documentary explores the rise of the University of Alabama’s football dynasty, providing an in-depth look at the program's history, challenges, and triumphs.
Notable Quotes:
Jeremiah Castille [96:14]: "So, to your point, man, it's just lessons like that, right? And coming from a family, this lineage of successful football players that I come from..."
Adam Carolla [105:34]: "If you want to know my life... here's my life that I went to DeKalb once, and one time."
[128:37 - 129:35]
Caleb and Jeremiah discuss the importance of teamwork, discipline, and leadership in football, drawing parallels between their experiences on the field and their professional lives. They emphasize how the values learned in sports translate to success in other arenas.
Notable Quotes:
Caleb Castille [104:35]: "So me blocking the punt and showing out as the fourth string guy on scout team right now is not in the best interest of what we need to do..."
Adam Carolla [106:42]: "I had this theory about former NFL offensive linemen... they were really successful outside of the NFL."
[129:52 - End]
Adam wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to support Brad Williams' upcoming shows and to check out the Castilles' documentary. He emphasizes the importance of broadening one's horizons through diverse documentary viewing.
Notable Quotes:
Adam Carolla [129:00]: "Nothing but a winner. Nationwide release July 31st. I would tell people, go look at the trailer and if you're not moved by it and you don't think it's a real nice doc, you don't have to see in the theaters."
Jeremiah Castille [129:21]: "Yeah, it is. And it's interesting where like in just my lifetime, like where docs have come from..."
Conclusion
This episode of The Adam Carolla Show seamlessly blends humor with critical discussions on societal issues, the modeling industry's unrealistic standards, and the enduring legacy of football in shaping personal and professional lives. By featuring Brad Williams' comedic insights and the Castilles' documentary endeavors, the show offers a multifaceted exploration of contemporary topics, all while maintaining its signature unfiltered and engaging style.