Kelly Rizzo Talks Bob Saget’s Legacy & His Late Embrace of Danny Tanner

Summary

Adam Carolla Show — Episode Summary

Episode Title: Kelly Rizzo Talks Bob Saget’s Legacy & His Late Embrace of Danny Tanner
Date: April 7, 2026
Host: Adam Carolla
Guests: Kelly Rizzo (host of “Comfort Food with Kelly Rizzo”; Bob Saget’s widow), Alicia Krause (news)

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Overview

In this episode, Adam Carolla welcomes Kelly Rizzo for a reflective, humor-tinged conversation about Bob Saget’s multifaceted legacy—both as a beloved comedian and as Danny Tanner from "Full House." The discussion explores Saget’s internal struggles and public perceptions, his eventual embrace of his sitcom persona, and the process of grieving a public figure personally and collectively. Topics shift into comfort food, hospitality etiquette, and a wide-ranging news segment alongside Alicia Krause, encompassing politics, LA’s decline, and current cultural observations.

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Main Conversation: Kelly Rizzo on Bob Saget’s Legacy

Bob Saget’s Persona & Public Perceptions

• Opening Banter: Adam and Kelly talk about name changes post-marriage; both agree on the hassle and bureaucratic difficulty, relating it humorously to IRS woes.

• IRS Nightmares: Adam and Kelly swap stories about the inefficiency and tenacity of the IRS, comparing it to how personal financial chaos feels worse than government graft.

  • Memorable quote (Adam, 07:11):

    "You just sit there and you think about all the times they told you they need your money and you just go, I just want to throw up in my hands."

• Transition to Bob Saget: Adam notes the warmth in recent tributes, especially from Jeff Ross's Netflix special.

  • Kelly, 10:15:

    “My favorite thing is when people get to see Bob as he really was in those candid moments... He was just so sweet and so lovable, and he just truly cared about his friends.”

• Comedy Community’s Acceptance—The “Ringo/Carrot Top” Effect: Adam points out that like Ringo Starr and Carrot Top, Bob was initially seen as “corny” by insiders, but later won respect.

  • Adam, 11:44:

    “They kind of did what they did with Carrot Top with him. But then some point they came back around... And then it became a, ‘Oh, Saget’s great, great comic, great guy.’”

Struggles With the Danny Tanner Image

• A Dichotomy: Saget started as a sharp stand-up comic but became tightly associated with squeaky-clean TV roles.

  • Kelly, 13:06:

    “He was first and foremost a comic. But then he got the family television stuff... only saw him as that Family Guy. And he was always wrestling with that because he's like, this is what people know me as, but it's not really who I am.”

• Learning to Embrace It: Bob resented, then ultimately made peace with, being “Danny Tanner.”

  • Kelly, 16:09:

    “He was really fighting against the Full House image... But then the last few years of his life, he really started to appreciate it... He’s like: ‘I’m gonna embrace this. I’m gonna embrace the whole Danny Tanner thing. People love it.’”

On Saget’s Passing & Processing Grief

• The Unresolved Circumstances: Adam asks about the cause and aftermath; Kelly recounts the surreal uncertainty and how she and Saget’s adult daughters have processed it.

  • Kelly, 17:30 & 19:27:

    “We never found out exactly like where in the hotel room it happened or exactly how it happened... It was just a tragic freak thing.”
    “...That was the one thing that was really hard for me to wrestle with for a really long time was like, what? But he was fine, you know, and it was just, you know, that's what happens with those accidents.”

• Step-Grandparenting and Family: Kelly shares becoming a step-grandmother was an unexpected gift amidst grief.

  • Kelly, 21:34:

    “So Bob had his little granddaughter, and her name is Robbie. And. Precious little angel. And she's only a few months old now.”

• Trauma & Hypervigilance: Kelly’s experience with Saget’s sudden death sparked anxiety and hyper-awareness of everyday risks.

  • Kelly, 24:38 (on shower accidents):

    “... when it happens to people you know, or a loved one, in my case, with my husband, any type of accident or I'm just so hyper aware now of things... I have a couple PTSDs: IRS. And what happened to Bob.”

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Comfort Food, Childhood Memories, and Culinary Rants

[27:31–41:01]

The Meaning of Comfort Food

• Adam confesses his parents weren’t great cooks, so his culinary nostalgia centers on his Hungarian step-grandfather’s dishes.
  • Adam, 27:24:

    “If your kid becomes an adult and they can't summon a favorite dish you made, you've done a shit job as a parent.”

• Both lament the rarity of authentic Hungarian food in Los Angeles.

Adam’s Quest for the Perfect Chicken Paprikash

• Adam explains his failed attempts to find authentic Hungarian food locally, then details his own approach to cooking chicken paprikash, describing the process, sensory details, and frustrations with subpar restaurant versions.
  • Adam, 30:30–33:08, on recipe:

    “Start skin on bone in thighs... you brown the chicken in pork lard... then you add a ton of diced up onion and then garlic... then you add the paprika... and then you add like 2 cups of chicken broth and then put the chicken back in, cover, and cook.”

  • Adam, 33:08:

    “And then you put it over the no kettle dumplings. And it is fucking heroin.”

• Kelly jokes about wishing he’d been on her first season of "Comfort Food" podcast, since she wouldn’t have risked making such a complex comfort dish herself.
• Adam rails against restaurants that fail at signature dishes, humorously comparing it to bands doing “weird versions” of their biggest hit songs.
  • Adam, 41:01:

    “It drives me nuts. Just don't fuck it up. Do not fuck up; do it the way you should do it.”

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Etiquette: The Problem of Early Arrivals

[43:58–53:29]

• Adam and Kelly riff on the social awkwardness of guests arriving way too early—branding them as bigger trouble than late arrivals.
  • Adam, 44:53:

    “All the emphasis... is on tardy, which is bad. And then the other word is prompt, which is good... but we need a word for too prompt.”

• They vent about being thrown off as hosts, with Kelly noting:
  • Kelly, 45:15:

    “...there should be a good five, maybe ten minute leeway either direction. However, if you're hosting a dinner party... and somebody shows up at 5:20 or 5:30... I know I'm not ready.”

• Discussion of “preemies”—the term they jokingly invent for unacceptably early guests.
  • Adam, 56:11:

    “What if we called them preemies?... This guy’s a preemie. Fucking pull the preemie on me.”

  • Kelly, 56:30:

    “Yeah, they're like a preemie couple. And that incubator's gonna be your fucking car... and don't put your preminess on me.”

---

News Segment with Alicia Krause

Current Political/Cultural Events & LA Commentary

[64:38–105:36]

• LA Decline and Governance: Adam unleashes a classic "Carolla Rant" on LA’s decline: trash, homelessness, and the city “gargling with vodka”—as a metaphor for spiraling dysfunction.
  • Adam, 67:18:

    “I've been sort of seeing LA gargle with vodka for 20 years, going, there is an issue in this town, and we need to start talking about it.”

• Invisible Problems and DEI Skepticism: Adam and Alicia deconstruct politicians’ focus on “invisible problems” (like systemic oppression), comparing it to the job- and fix-oriented interests of other public figures.
  • Adam, 80:28:

    "It’s easy to be interested in invisible problems because there’s no way to solve them and no one held accountable. If you're interested in tangible problems, there's a way to mark progress..."

• Diversity Hiring in California Projects: Adam points to California’s high-speed rail disaster as a case study in possible diversity-over-merit hiring, complaining this unfairly clouds the achievements of actual minority professionals.
  • Adam, 92:57:

    “I have no idea why either one of these guys is involved with this project, who hired them, or what it was based on, but it makes me think it's a DEI hire, which is not fair to those guys...”

• Local Politicians and Flawed Leadership: Adam targets Karen Bass and other LA politicians’ lack of practical solutions, satirizing their “soft” attitudes toward controversial leaders.
  • Adam, 98:11:

    “But her explanation was the people in Florida, they don't like Fidel. But what about the people who couldn't get in an inner tube and paddle their way to Florida?”

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Notable Offbeat Moments & Quotes

• On Men’s Bathroom Accidents and Aging (Adam, 22:43):

  “It's insane that in a world of smoke detectors and childproof everything, those tubs don't just come with a skid proof bottom... You’re literally standing on slick fiberglass and you’re spraying yourself with sudsy water... you’re gonna eat shit.”

• On Cooking and Masculinity (Adam, 36:37):

  “If you can build a car engine, you can make chicken paprikash.”

• On The “Early-Arriver” Problem:
  • Kelly, 53:08:

    “Doesn't everyone just want more time to just be alone anyway and sit in your car with nobody bothering you and mentally prepare for the Thanksgiving event that you're gonna have to go into? I show up early. I want as much time away from all of that as possible.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Kelly Discussion Begins: 02:55
• IRS & Name Change Anecdotes: 03:08–09:46
• Bob Saget Tributes & Persona: 09:48–16:55
• The Reality and Process of Saget's Passing: 17:17–21:44
• Comfort Food, Chicken Paprikash Rant: 27:31–41:01
• Early/Late Guest Etiquette: 43:58–56:49
• News—LA Decline, Political Commentary: 64:38–105:36

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Closing: Plugs & Contact

• Kelly Rizzo:
  • Instagram: @kellyrizzo
  • Podcast: “Comfort Food with Kelly Rizzo” (drops Wednesdays)
• Adam Carolla:
  • Tour/tickets: AdamCarolla.com
  • Merch and social media also available from Adam’s site
• Alicia Krause:
  • Find on Daily Wire and Instagram

Ending Note: Adam closes with signature banter and a hint at the upcoming news with Alicia Krause, following the interplay of biting humor, nostalgia, and cultural skepticism that defines the show.

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This summary provides a clear, structured insight into the episode’s major themes and memorable moments, capturing both the humor and the heartfelt aspects for new and returning listeners alike.

Transcript

[A]

Well, in this episode, Kelly Rizzo comes back on the show. That's Bob Saget's widow, to talk about everything. Also, Alicia Krause has the news. We'll do that right after this. This is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. If you care about sports, you care about moments. And right now, they're everywhere. March madness is tightening and the road to the 2026 World cup soccer is heating up. From the Sweet 16 to international test matches, Betonline is built for fans who don't just watch. They track, study and stay ahead. College hoops is down to the best of the best. Tighter games, sharper lines and props that actually matter. At the same time, international football is building toward the biggest tournament in the world. Betonline delivers it all. Live betting, instant updates and in game odds that move with every possession on the court and every attack on the pitch. The $50,000 Sweet 16 bracket contest is live. A fresh chance to get in, build it right, and take your shot. While the road to 2026 continues to unfold, big moments don't wait. Bet online. The game starts here. Thanks for tuning into the Adam Carolla Show. You can watch the full show on YouTube. Just search Adam Carolla show and hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also get the podcast wherever you like to listen. And for extra content, ad free episodes and more, you can head over to our substack and sign up today. This episode of the Adam Crolla show is brought to you by SimpliSafe. Check engine ABS or maintenance light on. Take the guesswork out of your warning lights with O'Reilly Veriscan. The service is free and provides a report with solutions verified by ASE certified Master Technicians. And if you need help, we can recommend a shopper for you. Ask for O'Reilly Veriscan today. Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[B]

From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Corolla Show. Adam's guest today, the host of Comfort Food with Kelly Rizzo. Kelly Rizzo. Plus the news with Alicia Crouse. And now, Adam Carolla.

[A]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on no choice making a mandate. Get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. Kelly Rizza. Back on now. You never took the last name Saget, right?

[C]

No, no, I think he was fine with it. He brought it up. He asked me when we got married, he's like, so you're keeping Rizzo? And I was married before Bob and I went through that awful name change to Change my name at first. And then when I got divorced, I had to change it back. And I'm like, I'm not going through that.

[A]

Too big a hassle.

[C]

It's such a pain in the ass. Was not doing it again. The worst are United or the airlines to change your name on the Mileage plus programs. Oh, man. I was like, I'm not doing. It was easier to get a passport.

[A]

You know, it's funny. It is so hard to undo things that get done. It's so much harder to, like, undo them. It's like a bone got broken. It never got reset properly. It calcified, it grew back, and now it's all fucked up. And to redo it is painful, and you have to break bones. I remember early on, I had a situation with the IRS when I was young, and I just. I was a carpenter, but I owed them like, $4,000, and I just paid them like, $29 a month.

[C]

Oh, yeah, the payment plans.

[A]

Yeah. Well, it's funny, at the end of it, when I finally started making some money after, like, two years of paying them back, maybe four years paying them back, I'm like, all right, well, how much do I owe them now? They're like $4,000. And I'm like, wait a minute. I've been paying them for five years. And they're like, oh, that was just interesting.

[C]

Yeah, it's the penalty.

[A]

It's just the penalty.

[C]

The penalty's add up.

[A]

I still owe them.

[C]

I had the same thing. And that was another thing when it came to changing my name. I'm like, I'm not having the IRS not know where I'm at. You know, they need to be able to find me at all times. I am not missing a message or a letter. I'm not changing my name.

[A]

Well, I had. So I owed them. And I was on a payment program with them. And then at some point, I sold a script to Animaniacs, the cartoon. And I got paid a princely sum back then of like $2,500 or something. Like I thought. Now I'm like Ernest Hemingway. Like, I'm a professional getting paid to write. And so they owed me 2,500 bucks, but I never got the check. So then I said to them, where's the check? And they said, well, the IRS put a lien on it. Yes. Cause you owe them money. And I said, they're very good at enforcing laws that involve them getting paid. By the way, they're not great at streetlights and potholes and things of that. Like, if you got a big crack on the sidewalk in front of your house, that'll go on forever. But when you owe them money, they get super efficient, right?

[C]

I had that, and I dealt with that, and I still have PTSD from that, and I will never go through that again.

[A]

So I said to the irs, I said, you know, that was a mistake because I had a payment plan worked out with you guys before this, and I'm on a plan, so I should get the money. And they said, okay. And they looked into it, and they're like, we made a mistake. So here's your check. And I said, thank you. And then about three years later, I went to buy my first house, and the guy sitting at the computer at the bank, he's like, oh, boy, we got a lien here from the irs. That doesn't look good. And I go, that was nothing. It was a mistake. They made a mistake. And then they gave me the money. And they're like, well, it says, you got an IRS lien here. And for the next eight years, every time I went in something, I was like, whoop. IRS lien. A mistake they made that they would never undo.

[C]

Yeah, I had that at one. This was maybe 15 years ago or so. And at one point, I only had $3,000, I remember, in my checking account, and they came and took all $3,000. I had nothing like, zero. Like, how can they do that? How can they just take all of it? Clearly, they know my accounts. They know that's all I had.

[A]

Anyone who knows these stories and has owed the IRS hundreds of thousands of dollars, if I have in the past and paid them off and so on and so forth. When you start hearing these stories about the learning center, the hospice center, the daycare for the autism and the grift, you just sit there. This One person made $28 million in two years by opening a hospice center in his Beverly Hills mansion. You just sit there and you think about all the times they told you they need your money, and you just go, I just want to throw up in my hands.

[C]

Little old me. How am I going to buy my food? How am I going to pay my rent?

[A]

They raided your account. They took my. I'll tell you.

[C]

$3,000. 100% of it.

[A]

I'll tell you. See, to me, I'm always fascinated in the chasm between how they treat you when you owe them money and then how they treat you when somebody else owes you money and how they do it. So I had a car.

[C]

I never had that total.

[D]

I'VE only owed that.

[A]

I had a guy. Well, this wasn't that. This is the system. I had a car get completely taken out by a drunk driver. I wasn't in it, but it was just parked in front of my apartment, and it got destroyed, and the guy fled, and he was clearly drunk, and he drove his car, sparks shooting out, tires popped, abandoned the car, took off on foot. They caught the guy, and before you know it, we end up in court together. And he doesn't have any money, but the judge basically says to him, you gotta pay out Mr. Carolla 100 bucks a month until your $4,000 is taken care of, or whatever it is. And then at some point, I don't know, a year went by, I realized I wasn't getting any checks. And I called Van Nuys, the courthouse, and I said, I don't think I'm getting paid by this guy. You had a court order to pay you guys, and then you pay me. And they go, we don't have any way to know how much he's paid in or not. We don't have a way to know that. And I'm like, when I get pulled over, the guy runs my license plate and knows everything.

[C]

Yeah, they know all about you.

[A]

I'm sitting in a squad car. What do you mean you don't have a way to know? You don't have a way to know when people owe me money. You do have a way to know when people owe you money. So maybe you should put the same effort, same system. That's the problem. Yes.

[C]

Well, thanks for reminding me of my.

[A]

Sorry for that. It was nice to see Bob talked about in Jeff Ross's new Netflix.

[C]

Wasn't that special.

[A]

Wasn't that special.

[C]

I thought it was a special special.

[A]

It was a special Take a Banana for the road. I think it was for the ride.

[C]

I always got the mix. I would always say road instead of ride, too. I think it should be interchangeable.

[A]

Agreed.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But it was nice words about. About Bob.

[C]

It was nice because my favorite thing is when people get to see Bob as he really was in those candid moments where he's sending a video message to a friend, you know, you actually knew the real Bob. You knew, not just the comedian or not just, you know, Danny Tanner or whatever he was on tv, you knew the real person. And he was just so sweet and so lovable, and he just truly cared about his friends. And that's why I was so happy that Jeff even chose that clip or that video of Bob just being a real Friend. And that makes me so happy when people get to see that of him.

[A]

Yeah, he's up there with Henry Winkler in the nice guy, Hollywood department. People always speak very glowingly about him.

[C]

Isn't it interesting because he gave a Persona sometimes, especially in his comedy where, you know, it was a little rough around the edges sometimes and people didn't really realize just how truly sweet he was and just how kind he was. And it's interesting when after you pass away, all of these things come out and people start really sharing all about that. And I think so many people, of course, appreciated him while he was here, but now even more appreciate him after he's gone. So it's kind of a bittersweet thing.

[A]

He had a little bit of this phenomenon that we have as a society. I've talked about it from time to time. It was kind of a Carrot happened to Carrot Top. It's a Ringo Carrot Top thing. And now here's what I'll say. People made fun of Ringo. They used to like, if you were the worst guy on your basketball team, you were the Ringo. The basketball team, you know, they'd always go, the Ringo. Yeah, yeah, the one who sucks out of the group. You're the Ringo. You know what I mean? And they used to make fun of Carrot Top because it was a prop comic. And now they talk glowingly about both of them. And Bob was doing these kind of corny sitcoms and blooper shows and stuff. So he wasn't really in the stand up or the comedy community. You know, they looked at him like the guy who took the money, did the clean stuff and wasn't pushing back against the man and doing all the alternative stuff and like that. And so they kind of looked at him as. They kind of did what they did with Carrot Top with him. But then some point they came back around and they started to appreciate him. And then it became a. Oh, Saget's great, great comic, great guy.

[C]

Yeah, I think what happened with him, his trajectory was really interesting because he was a comedian at first. He started out in the late 70s, early 80s at the Comedy Store. I mean, at the same time as, you know, Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy and all of these people who were making their names in comedy at the time. And he was in that circle. I mean, he was with, you know, doing stuff with Rodney Dangerfield back in the day. And he was first and foremost a comic. But then he got the family television stuff. And so the critics and let's say the mass media only saw him as that Family Guy. And he was always wrestling with that because he's like, this is what people know me as, but it's not really who I am.

[A]

Yeah, it's kind of. I'll think of it. David Cassidy had that. David Cassidy wanted to play rock guitar, sing, and be Jimi Hendrix or Eric Clapton. And then he landed in the Partridge Family. And now he's doing this bubblegum pop and he wants to rock, but he's now known as the bubblegum pop guy. And we're kind of. We don't have that much time as a society to really scratch everyone's lottery ticket and really get to know who they are. We just go, oh, it's Danny Tanner. It's Keith Partridge over there. And then we move on. We don't know that guy's a great guitar player who's got chops and stuff. We don't know. So we just move on. And some people get out from under it. But, you know, I don't think like David Cassidy ever did.

[C]

He kind of like, when you said David Cassidy, the first thing I thought was the Partridge Family. You know, I think Bob did have a few different avenues in terms of depending on the audience people knew him from. Yes, it was either Full House or America's Funniest Home Videos. But a lot of people, the first thing they said when they came up to him was, oh, my God, the Aristocrats loved you from that. Loved you in this. Loved you where once again, depending on if you're an 18 year old girl or a 52 year old guy, you're gonna maybe know him from something different. And he was really happy when people came up to him and said, I know you from the Aristocrats.

[A]

Yeah, if you stick around long enough, you'll be happy or sad, depending on where they know you from. Yeah, I guess if they know you from enough stuff that makes you sad, then maybe you weren't making the great choices.

[C]

Yeah, well, he.

[A]

I don't mean Bob. I just mean in life, like if you had a whole resume of stuff that you wish you didn't do or you don't like. But yeah, I agree, it's better to have somebody with a deep cut, like pull something that I. That you even forgot you did out and say, I love that thing.

[C]

But he came around to it in the end. He was really fighting against the Full House image and just being known from that show for a long time because it wasn't in his mind for a while. He was like, it's not that funny. I don't really get to be funny. And you look back and it was like, no, he was funny. He was great on it. It was just a different type of funny. But then the last few years of his life, he really started to appreciate it and he was really getting the impact that it had and how people still love it so much. And that show's just not going anywhere. So he's like, I'm gonna embrace this. I'm gonna embrace the whole Danny Tanner thing. People love it. It was such a special time for him. He's like, all right, I'll be Danny Tanner. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, it's a trajectory that most. I think a lot of bands have it and sitcoms. You know, people that go through, then they wanna distance themselves. And then at some point, nostalgia. And the next thing you know, they're at the convention. Cause they like it. And yeah, there's like a cycle and it's very human and everyone goes through it.

[C]

I think it makes you feel better to have the rebellious part of it because you're like, all right, I fought against it, but couldn't win. So I'm gonna embrace it now.

[A]

When did he pass as a thing?

[C]

Four years ago. Yeah, I remember last time I was here, it was right around the two year anniversary. And now it's been four years, which is crazy.

[A]

And there is no update medically or anything like that. Right. Did they ever really get to the bottom of what happened?

[C]

We never found out much more detail from what we originally found, out, which was like two, three weeks after he passed, was that he fell and hit his head. And we never found out exactly like where in the hotel room it happened or exactly how it happened. I just have realized that I know enough to be able to be at peace with it. I know I'm never gonna know exactly what happened, but we know enough that, you know, we know how, like, overall how it happened. And we're just at peace with that because it is what it is. It was just a tragic freak thing.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it makes sense. It was in the bath, shower, something. Something like that. Something involved water and tile or something.

[C]

Well, we don't even know if it was in the bathroom or the living area. We just don't know for sure.

[A]

Well, they wouldn't know if we took a shower that night though, probably.

[C]

They had said that nothing was wet on the floor, no towel or anything, you know, hours later. So.

[A]

Yeah, I guess it'll also be a matter of practice and whatever. Like, what I'm saying is, I go on the Road do shows all the time. I would never take a shower that night. I would take it in the morning. I would go home. I would go back to the hotel, watch a little tv, and go to bed.

[C]

I think he would all. I think he would, you know, like to shower off the day type of thing, especially with a lot of travel.

[A]

Yeah, then that would be consistent.

[C]

Yeah, it's just, you know, I had just assumed for the first few weeks after it happened that the only thing that made sense because they found him peacefully in bed, thank God, was that it was a heart attack or a stroke or something. And then. Which was heartbreaking enough, but then when I found out what actually happened and that it was an accident and it was, you know, this clearly traumatic enough injury, but also, thankfully, he was still found peacefully in bed. But it was just so much more heartbreaking. And it just made me just feel even more just sad for him that it was just such, you know, cause like a heart attack or a stroke, like, what are you gonna do? You can't. You know, you're lying in bed. You can't control to think that it was something like this. That, you know, it's like he was totally fine and just went away for a tour and slipped and fell and then just never came home. Like, that was the one thing that was really hard for me to wrestle with for a really long time was like, what? But he was fine, you know, and it was just, you know, that's what happens with those accidents. Like, you're here one minute, gone the next, and it's just. There's no rhyme or reason, and it's just. You kind of learn to just get used to it.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I got thoughts. One is, how's your daughter doing? You guys have a daughter, right?

[C]

Well, he has three daughters, so I have three stepdaughters.

[A]

Oh, you don't have a daughter between you?

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Well, I am kid free.

[A]

His. I don't know what somebody read. I thought somebody read me. That you had a daughter between you, but he has. And so his daughters are adult.

[C]

His daughters are adults, and they're lovely and wonderful and the biggest gifts in my life, thankfully, and the blessing that has come from this is that now I'm a step grandma as of a few months ago.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

So Bob had his little granddaughter, and her name is Robbie. And.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Precious little angel. And she's only a few months old now.

[A]

I'll tell you something I've been thinking about. When I think about the shower and getting a little Older. It's insane. So my good friend Dennis Prager slipped and was quadriplegic and blah, blah. You want to talk about perfectly healthy now, breathing through a tube kind of thing, and he's making some headway in terms of recovery. But I mean, you want to talk about life altering, it's not death, but it's about as close as life altering as you can get to death as there is. And I was thinking about it, and it's such a weird thing. So I was staying at Dr. Drew's house after the fires in Malibu and evacuated and weren't able to go back for months and months. And so I stayed with Dr. Drew and I stayed in his son's bedroom who's out of the house. And he has a little bathroom shower off the side. And so I would use that bathroom and that his house is like an 80s house and it has the full fiberglass tub. And you step over and I step in there and I'm running the shower and soaping up and I'm trying to turn back around. I'm this close to eating shit every.

[C]

No grippy things on the hood.

[A]

No grippy things. And what I'm saying is it's like saying, just stand on the hood of a Corvette and I'll spray you with a sudsy hose. And you try not to fall off. And I'm trying to turn around stuff and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I'm like catching myself. And I told. I bought a bunch of grippy things and gave them to Dr. Drew. But I just mean, first off, it's insane that in a world of smoke detectors and childproof everything, those tubs don't just come with a skid proof bottom on them or whatever. And I'm not saying this happened to Bob, but it did happen to Dennis. Yeah, and it is. You're literally standing on slick fiberglass and you're spraying yourself with sudsy water and trying to maneuver and. Yeah, you're gonna eat shit.

[C]

Well, the thing is, once something like this, you know, now it's. It's happened to multiple friends of yours. When it happens to people you know, or a loved one, in my case, with my husband, any type of accident or I'm just so hyper aware now of things, especially if I'm in a hotel. Like, there have been times where in the middle of the night, you know, you get up, you go to the bathroom, and I think, now I'm like, I need to be more alert. I need to pay attention to where I'm Going. And then there's times. And this is obviously a PTSD thing. I have a couple PTSDs, IRS. And what happened, Bob? And that where I've hit my head a couple times since, you know, nothing too crazy, but, you know, you lean back on a couch or something and you hit your head. Or I hit it on like a wall once and I immediately go to, oh, my gosh, this is it. This is what happened to him.

[A]

We.

[C]

What if this happens to me? And both times I've gotten CT scans right after because I get so nervous.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That that can actually happen. But you do become more aware of your mortality because you know that. That crazy stuff can happen.

[A]

Yeah. And you know, here's the thing. It's a double edged sword. So walking around all day with anxiety, not good.

[C]

No, it's not good. It's not fun at all.

[A]

Being motivated to go to Amazon and buy some sticky skid things that look like fish and me giving them to Dr. Drew and going, put them in that fucking tub. That is enough. That is good motivation.

[C]

There's probably a happy medium somewhere where you can be motivated to take care of certain things, but also not let it control your life. And now you just gave me flashbacks to those like sticky butterflies that would be in like the 80s fiberglass tubs.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Well, they still make those.

[A]

The pot. I bought them.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And I gave them to Drew and I said, drew, that is a physician reveal to myself. Yeah. The podcast, by the way, comfort food, which is not literally about comfort food per se.

[C]

Season one was. There was actual food in season one. I am not feeding people this season.

[A]

Okay. So I went on a complete comfort food journey, literally, like just a few days ago. Same. Not anticipating this. Just on my own comfort food journey.

[C]

What did you discover or what did you gravitate towards?

[A]

I got a recipe in front of me. Like, I went deep, hard. Okay, so let me. Well, let me explain a couple things. I don't have a favorite dish, really, that my mom or my dad made because they weren't grateful. Good parents, basically, essentially everybody, every parent. If your kid becomes an adult and they can't summon a favorite dish you made, you've done a shit job as a parent. Like, if they literally went, well, we do. Grubhub, you've dropped the ball. Your kids should be arguing over what your best dish was and what they crave and that memory comfort food is. So I don't have that with my mom or my dad, but my grandfather, who was my step grandfather, who was Hungarian, made great Hungarian food. And I loved it. And Hungarian food is awesome. And you can't find it anywhere.

[C]

Is goulash Hungarian?

[A]

Goulash is Hungarian. And so every once in a while, I just find myself craving some chicken paprikash or goulash or whatever the Hungarian food. Now, look, everyone always says their food's the best. I make it for people. And I have made it. Everyone, My kids, everyone I've ever exposed them to, this goes, is this the best goddamn chick I've ever had in my life? And it is true.

[C]

So I said, I need to know this recipe.

[A]

So I said to my assistant the other day, I said, find me Hungarian somewhere in Los Angeles. There's got to be something.

[C]

We've got everything here except for Hungarian, really.

[A]

So I said, find me. So she found. She goes, oh, there's a place in Burbank. I go in Burbank right here. Right here?

[C]

Yeah, in the hood.

[A]

It's a Hungarian deli, which is, like, different. You're not going to get goulash there. You get sausage, and you can go home and cook it. So then she found a place in Encino off of Ventura Boulevard, not too far, not too bad on the way home. So I'd been ruminating on it. I had to go out of town, But I've been thinking about this chicken paprikash the whole time. So then I came back into town and I said, all right, we're going chicken paprikash. We're going cucumber salad. That's what my grandfather used to do. We're gonna go, no kettle or. No kettle eats like dumplings or little sort of dumplings. And in goulash, we order it all. I'm excited. Pick it up, bring it home, try it that night. Not good.

[C]

Oh, man. Not good after all that.

[A]

Now, listen, everyone can go, well, that's just the way they do their. Whatever. No, no, their chicken paprikash is shit. It was off. It was wrong. So then I.

[C]

So was it bad or just different from what your grandfather used to make?

[A]

It was different and bad. Different bad. Like a lot of people I know. Yeah. And listen, it's not. I know everyone has their weird mindset on stuff. My girlfriend ate the stuff they cooked and was like, it's okay. It's okay. Like, yeah, it's okay.

[C]

She didn't have anything to compare it to.

[A]

Not really. But when I made up my chicken paprikashi, she's like, oh, this is so much better. And by the way, I want to go to that place and go, why don't you just do it, right? Just do it how people want it.

[C]

But you didn't say that.

[A]

I didn't. Well, I haven't been back. Okay, I'll vote with my pocketbook. So I then said, now I gotta cleanse my palate of this bad chicken paprikage. And I'm gonna have to do this myself. But it is a little bit of an undertaking. And I'll give you guys how it works and why it's so goddamn good.

[C]

Is this chicken thighs, like skin on

[A]

start skin on bone in thighs. Right. All right, so now then you get a big kettle and you brown the chicken first. But you do it in pork lard. You don't do it in butter or olive oil. You do it in pork lard. So then you ground it, you brown it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And it's like almost a little deep frying a little in the pork lard.

[C]

Interesting. Okay, yeah.

[A]

Then you take. And I got it. I'll give you guys ingredients, but it's pretty easy. Just go authentic chicken paprikash. You got pork lard, you got chicken. You got two medium yellow onions, finely chopped up garlic, Roma tomatoes, optional Hungarian bell pepper, which not a bell pepper, it's a kind of spicy pepper optional. Now you gotta get three to four tablespoons of good imported sweet Hungarian.

[C]

Okay. I was gonna say that's gotta be what it's named after, is the paprika. Right, okay.

[A]

Salt chicken broth instead of water.

[C]

I'm so hungry now.

[A]

All purpose flour, blah, blah. So what you do is you brown the chicken in this lard and then you take the chicken out and then you add a ton of diced up onion. Just a pile, as much diced up onion as you can, and then garlic. And then you kind of brown that up. And then you take.

[C]

You can't burn the garlic.

[A]

Can't burn the garlic. Then you gotta take it off the heat. Cause the paprika will. You don't wanna get it too hot. And then you add the paprika and then you stir it all up and essentially you make this bright red like a roux. Roux. Right. And it's thick and it's all onion and paprika and garlic. And then you add like 2 cups of chicken broth and then stir it all up and then put the chicken back in and put the lid on and cook the chicken and that.

[C]

Well, now I've got to try this.

[A]

Then at a certain point, you remove some, put it in a bowl, put A little bit of flour. Put a little bit of sour cream and put a little bit of cream and whisk it all up. And then put it back in and stir the whole thing up. And then put the lid on it.

[C]

Gravy to then thicken it up.

[A]

Thicken it up. But also the sour cream. And the cream makes it really creamy. And it goes from sort of bright red to kind of orange color. And then the chicken just devour it. Just drinks it all up. And then you put it over the no kettle dumplings. And it is fucking heroin.

[C]

Okay, so unbelievable. If I would have had you. On season one of my podcast, it was all the guests got to pick their favorite comfort food. And we would eat it while we were talking about death and grief, you know. Cause it makes it a little easier if you're eating your favorite food, at least. And that would have been really hard though, if you requested chicken paprikash. Cause I certainly would not have made that prior to the podcast. And it would have been hard to order it. Cause there's very few Hungarian restaurants.

[A]

Agreed. Oh, and I did do the I tell people to leave the tomato sauce out. Cause that's kind of American version. But I did dice up two Roma tomatoes and put them in there, by the way. So what happens is the diced up tomato and the diced up onion completely liquefy. By the time you're done, there's nothing.

[C]

It's just mush.

[A]

It's just all. You can't even tell they're in there. But the flavor is strong.

[C]

All right, well, you've inspired me. Sounds delicious. I mean, what's the overall time investment? This like, could be done in 45 minutes or is. This needs to be a multiple hour.

[A]

It's an app. It says prep time, 10 minutes, cook time, 50 total time. I guess we could do the math. One hour. It's an hour, but it's like. It's kind of an hour plus.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

At least that's with me doing it. But it came out killer. Better help. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Did you know that 88% of Americans are feeling some form of financial stress at the start of 2026? I used to be a construction worker, barely scraping by. And I remember like it was yesterday. It was tough. It was incredibly stressful. Couldn't sleep that well at night. Also couldn't afford air conditioning, so it was always hot. Argued with everybody. BetterHelp can help you manage this stress. Their therapists follow a strict code of conduct and are fully Licensed in the US and their questionnaire matches you with the right person. With over 6 million customers, you know it works. It's better help, right? Dawson?

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[A]

everyone to fuck off for a second. Everyone goes to me, what do you know about you can't cook? You can't cook? Yeah. And I go, oh, you can't clean or whatever. And I go, I could do it. I just don't do it. I can build houses. So if you can build a house, you can cook. You just follow the instructions. It's this weird thing where it's like you're a comedian and you're blue collar guy and you build houses and you like race cars. So what the fuck do you do in the kitchen? And I'm like, I'll do whatever I want in the kitchen. Because of all that shit. If you can build a car engine, you can make chicken paprikash.

[C]

But the whole point is that if you can do it this well and you're not a cook, those people at the Hungarian restaurants should certainly be able to make a good chicken paprikasha.

[A]

Really?

[C]

That's their literal job.

[A]

I'm literally, their stuff was bad and

[C]

then they shouldn't have a restaurant.

[A]

I am towing you. Tell me, do I go in there and just go, listen, no.

[C]

Bring in your chicken popper.

[A]

Yes. I'm not trying to offend anybody. I'm Actually here to sort of help, but.

[C]

And they certainly won't be offended if you say it that way.

[A]

I don't know. I get this with a lot of people in life where I go, let me just help.

[C]

Certainly ensure everyone gets angry, but I

[A]

don't know why you have to get angry.

[C]

Your staple dish, it sucks.

[A]

It sucks. It is much. It is. It is not. It is a little less than half as good as the shit I made by going on the Internet and typing in Australia.

[C]

So your recipe was from this, the Internet. It wasn't even your grandfather's.

[A]

My grandfather.

[C]

Ancient recipe.

[A]

My grandfather did this before this. But what I'm saying is it's tons of onion, tons of chicken. And don't use water, use chicken broth. Now, my grandfather used to boil chicken bones.

[C]

Oh, yeah, see, that's.

[A]

And get the. Get the juice out. Because he couldn't buy a box of chicken broth back in the day, you know, he had to make chicken made chicken stock. But he knew not to go to tap water, go with chicken stock in there. So. And in stuff like lard versus, you know, margarine or something like cooking the chicken, there's really only one way to do it. And it's like this way, if you want the super authentic stuff and they're doing something different over there. And I don't condone it.

[C]

It does. As a. As a foodie and a person who likes to travel and eat regional dishes from around the world that when you go to a certain restaurant and they just like. For instance, I was just in DC In Williamsburg, Virginia this week, and I went to a Greek restaurant, a Mediterranean restaurant. And whenever I go, I always order the taramo salada.

[A]

What is that?

[C]

Which is the whipped fish roe spread? It's. I think it's not cod, but it's anyway, whipped fish roe with potatoes, olive oil, garlic, lemon. It's delicious. And most Greek restaurants do it really well because that's what they should be doing if they're gonna make it. It should be done well. And this place had the worst tadama that I have ever. And I'm like, you have one job, right? How can you not make your regional specific dish of your region? How do you not make it?

[A]

Well, right.

[C]

So basically, anyway, I was very upset.

[A]

Now this is called, I think called these first world problems, or maybe white people problems. I'm not sure. But the point is.

[C]

No, I bet this happens all over the world. If you.

[A]

Anyone I know, I mean, people. People being devastated by chicken paprikash. I Mean, I'm talking about there's people that don't have access to clean water and stuff like that. I'm talking about the First World.

[C]

This is very true.

[A]

Very true. Right. But here's my point, equally as devastating, guys. And I agree, this is sort of the compulsory part. You can experiment with your desserts, but you better nail chicken paprikash or the Greek fish spread. Cause that's what brought you here. Yeah, yeah, I agree.

[C]

Agreed completely.

[A]

Now, do you say anything to the people?

[C]

I certainly. I am way too much of a wimp for any type of confrontation, I take it. And I actually. No, no, for that dish. I did send it back, and I never send anything back. And I said. I was like, look, I'm a tadema connoisseur. This is not. We couldn't even eat it. So that I complained. But normally I just shut up.

[A]

Were they trying to put their own stink on it? Were they trying to do their own thing?

[C]

This was a celebrity show.

[A]

It drives me nuts. Just don't fuck it up. Do not fuck up, but do it the way you should do it.

[C]

It's kind of like when you go see a band and they have their number one single that has been their hit single for 40 years, and then they put some weird, you know, rendition of it, some weird arrangement, and it doesn't even sound like the song. And you're like, no, this is not what I came here for.

[A]

I saw Sting in concert, like, 30 years ago. Every Police hit he did a reggae version of. And it's like. Cause he's bored. You know what I mean? But I'm not bored.

[C]

I get it. They get bored of it. You know, they've sang whatever song, stairway to heaven 500 billion times. But that's what the people are paying for.

[A]

Agreed. And they're paying for the Greek food, and they're paying for chicken paprika.

[C]

I have a question. Are you a Metallica fan?

[A]

I appreciate them, but I don't know that I've been.

[C]

I'm going to see them.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And I heard that they're doing some weird playlists or set list where they're not repeating any song. So.

[A]

Meaning if no Enter Sandman for.

[C]

Yeah, only one night is getting Enter Sandman. I, you know, like a lot more songs than just Enter Sandman. But I'd be really pissed If I paid $2,000 to see them at Sphere and they didn't play, you know, Enter Sandman or the Unforgiven, I think.

[A]

You know, it's weird. Because comedians have to do the opposite. They have to turn their set over and do a new special. And the people don't wanna hear the old stuff and blah, blah, blah. I think if you're Metallica, I also get it as a performer that do an early show, do a late show. I do a sort of different late show. Cause I'm kind of bored. I just did the same thing. I don't wanna do the same thing. You know, I feel like I'm just gonna mix it up for myself. They should do. They need to do, you know, three or four standards for sure. And then they can mix and match around that. That's what I would say. But there is no. You cannot exit Sandman with no sandman.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

You need to enter Sandman and hear some fucking Sandman. And you don't want to exit drunk with no Sandman.

[C]

Ooh, I'll be pissed. We'll see though. I'll report back.

[A]

Let me ask you this. You travel, you go sample all these fine foods. You know, you're not Eloise, but we can't talk etiquette with you a little. Okay, I have a beef. My beef. We live in a society that gets angry when people are late. This guy's rude. We had a dinner party. They showed up late. You know, they disrespected me by making me wait. Job interview. The guy showed up late. We don't like late. We don't like late. And I don't like late either. We don't recognize or put an emphasis on the assholes who show up super early to stuff and fuck you up as well. And we don't put any emphasis. All the emphasis. Every day in school there's something called tardy, which is bad. And then the other word is prompt, which is good. And prompt is fine. But we need a word for two. Prompt.

[C]

Yeah, I agree. And this happens to me all the time. And I feel that, you know, there should be a good five, maybe ten minute leeway either direction. However, if you're hosting a dinner party and you say 6 o' clock and somebody shows up at 5:20 or 5:30, like, I know I'm not ready.

[A]

No.

[C]

Every woman plan on being ready, stepping

[A]

out of the shower at that point. Yes, every. It always cracks me up because you go Thanksgiving, show up. We'll start at four and then you do this one. You can show up anytime after 4. And then at some point the woman is literally in a towel and it's 3:14. And there's. And then they're like What? And she's like, in her town. And, like, we're here. And they're like, also with the excuses. We're like, well, we didn't know how bad traffic, first off.

[C]

So then you sit in your car and you wait.

[A]

Okay, by the way, you live four miles from here, and it's Thanksgiving. How bad is the traffic gonna be? By the way, you're supposed to be here at 4. Leave your house at 4, you'll be here at 4:12. What's the big one? But no, you're here early. And then you come in and you make. Now, first you have to apologize. You go, I'm in the kitchen. I'm right in the middle of basing the turkey. I'm sorry, we won't be able. And then they go, don't mind us.

[C]

Oh, don't mind us.

[A]

Don't mind us. Don't mind us.

[C]

You have to.

[A]

We'll just mill around aimlessly and watch your wife and her towel.

[C]

Yeah. If you're a hostess, like, I learned this from my mother, she is the consummate, the most perfect entertaining dinner host.

[A]

Right?

[C]

And when people come in, she expects. What can I get you to drink? There's appetizers set out. But it's not just, what can I get you to drink? Can I make you a cocktail?

[A]

Can I do what a mom you have?

[C]

But when. Oh, she says hi. You met her last time I was here.

[A]

Oh. Anyway, what a mom. What a mom.

[C]

But she. If somebody showed up that early, it would throw off the whole game because she can't not be hospitable.

[A]

I get it.

[C]

She has to serve the drinks.

[A]

And also, you're undressed. And even if you didn't step out of the shower, you're just wearing your sweatpants. Cause you're in the kitchen, you're tending to the stuff. The mashed potatoes are getting whipped. That's crucial. Crunch time. That 40 minutes before everyone shows up, you're still putting stuff out. And then they do the. Oh, no, don't mind.

[C]

Don't mind us.

[A]

Don't mind us. We'll just mill around your home aimlessly and look at stuff while that's half done. And then at some point, they'll be. You'll go, okay, I got to tend to the roast in the kitchen or something. At some point, they'll come in and a bottle of wine, they'll go, did you have an opener? And you're like, I haven't put the opener out yet. Hold on. Oh, no, don't bother.

[C]

We'll serve ourselves.

[A]

How do you work this remote? We're just gonna watch the game.

[C]

It's diabolical.

[A]

The fucking people. And Dr. Drew, who's Mr. Prompt Ass, but not prompt. I would argue in many situations, being half hour early is worse than a half hour late Thanksgiving. Who the fuck cares when you show up? But you show up a half hour early and I'm in the shower.

[E]

Right?

[C]

But see, you wait in your car.

[A]

You wait in your car.

[C]

Yeah. Catch up on some emails, make a

[A]

phone call, go to Starbucks. It'll be open. It'll be open on Thanksgiving.

[C]

I think this is a PSA that it's just as rude to show up early than it is to show up late.

[A]

I totally agree. Or you can do what I do. Just drive up and down the street and see anyone jogging and just fucking yell at them, go get the fuck home and eat some cake.

[C]

10 minutes early here today. And I was like, I'm not gonna go in now. I'm gonna wait a few minutes and go in right on time.

[A]

I love it.

[C]

Three minutes early. I showed up three minutes early. Cause what if you're not ready? It's rude.

[A]

So I got a thing. So I'm going to a hotel and I got this appointment. And I'm looking around the hotel and a long story short, but I'm going to meet. We're gonna meet Dr. Drew and his wife. Cause we're in the neighborhood. So I say to Drew, look, we got this appointment. It's like 1:10. Why don't we meet at the upstairs bar, whatever, for some cocktails or appetizers. Meet us at 2. Let's do 2 o'. Clock. That'll give us plenty of time to do our tour and so on and so forth. So. All right, so I'll see you upstairs at the lounge at. At 2 o'. Clock. Him and his wife live nearby. I'm going in the lounge at 1:22. I get the text from Drew. We're here. We're at the lounge. And now I'm like, okay, we gotta. Let's speed this up. Cause we gotta get. Cause they're up there, they're waiting. And for me, it drives me insane when people are waiting. I hate people waiting. So now, even though it's not my fucking fault, I told you, show up at 2. Show up at 2. You had to show up at 1:22 and then sit there and then send me a text saying, we'll be up here waiting. Now he's not. Where are you? Get your ass over Here he's saying, we're sitting here, but I'm picturing him sitting around. And now I'm trying to hustle it along. He's upstairs. They're waiting for us now. But why can't you just show up at 2?

[C]

I agree. I actually had a really, really funny issue with this about a week ago. And sorry if this sounds name droppy, but it was very funny. I was doing a podcast, and my lovely friend Katie Couric was coming over to my house to cook with me. Cause we do this cooking series and we make all these recipes. So I told her to show up at 2 because I knew that this podcast was ending at about 1:45 2, ironically.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

And I told her, I said, I'm doing a podcast until 1:45. Come over at 2. She shows up at, like, 1:40. And this podcast was going long, and I'm in the middle of the podcast. And I said, I was like, I'm so sorry, but Katie Couric's ringing my doorbell. I have to let her in. I can't let her stand out. And she's like, oh, like, not really. Like, what did you just say? Like, Katie Couric. The Katie Couric. So I was like, sorry. So I let Katie in, and then Katie comes and just says hi in the middle of the podcast. She's like, hi. And then, of course, they start chatting. And it was just this really funny thing. But I was like, okay, I can't be mad at Katie because it's Katie. And it was really funny to have her interrupt the podcast.

[A]

I've never get. You know, people have problems with, like, sort of plans and sequences, like where you'll go. The things that won't. Probably won't start to about 1:10. Probably take a half hour. That'll get, like, 1:40. We'll just meet at 2. And they go, okay. And then they show. Then they show up at 1:15. And, like, I don't know what was going on. And, like, I worked out the entire thing.

[C]

I work out backwards until my morning of. Okay, so coffee takes this long. My hair takes this long.

[A]

You reverse engineer your morning. Yes, yes. So.

[C]

So what I did to show up on time here today, and I will

[A]

say that I don't even again, we don't have a word in the English language for people who show up too early. And we need one.

[C]

Well, we can work on one. Are we sure there's not one? Does that not exist?

[A]

How about, like, we don't have a word for it? Promptitis yeah, we make it like a venereal disease. You got promptitis. Yeah, like, well, prompt.

[C]

I take that back. We like prompt.

[A]

No, prompt. That's the problem. Prompt is not a pejorative. We need something negative.

[C]

Prompt.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. We need something to call my stepdad when he shows up for Thanksgiving at 3:10 for the final thing.

[C]

Come up with a word.

[A]

Also. I'm with you. You sit in your fucking car like you thought there was going to be traffic. There was no traffic. Then you sit in your fucking car.

[C]

I do it all the time. It's easy.

[A]

I do a version of that too.

[C]

Doesn't everyone just want more time to just be alone anyway and sit in your car with nobody bothering you and mentally prepare for the Thanksgiving event that you're gonna have to go into? I show up early. I want as much time away from all of that as possible.

[A]

I do think that being late, with the advent of the smartphone, it's not really late like it used to be. Like if you were. If you met and this has happened,

[C]

let's just say, I mean, now it's even more rude.

[A]

No, now it's not as rude, really. Well, here's what I'm saying every time. I'm never, almost never late, but there are times when shit happens where like I say to people, I'll meet you at two, but I'm also doing a thing and I don't know how long it's going to go. So it might be like 2:15 or something like that because I don't know. And they go, yeah, fine. And like I'll roll in at 2:15 and I'll say, the person who's clearly been sitting there for a minute, they're like on their phone. Oh, and they're answering emails or whatever. Yes.

[C]

And then I go, everyone's always busy.

[A]

I go, sorry, I'm late. And they go, nah, I was just catching up on some emails or whatever. Which is fine because in the. In the past when you showed up late to the diner, the guy was trying to make a pyramid out of salt and he's like. He's just literally sitting there on his third iced tea and there was nothing going on.

[C]

Pray they have a newspaper.

[A]

Right? Pray. Yeah, he's read.

[C]

Oh, I hope at least he has Newsweek with him.

[A]

Right, right. So you can actually. It's not as impactful because I'm the same way. If someone's like 10 minutes late, I'm like, yeah. Looking at my phone like, I don't. I'm entertained.

[C]

I got Stuff to do. I thought you meant because of the smartphone, that it's more. Because now there's no excuse.

[A]

Ways people act.

[C]

You have ways people act.

[A]

Like we're all staring at a Thomas guy. How many people try the bullshit. Sorry, man. The trap. I go. You just plug it into your phone. It'll tell you how long. I do it everywhere I go.

[C]

Everywhere I go. Leave later is the prompt. You type. You hit the Leave later button, and then it shows you exactly how long it's going to take, even tomorrow, to get to where. And within five minutes, it's always right.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. And people still try to use the excuse of like. Well, I didn't. It took me forever to get.

[C]

If anything, it overestimates. So you'll end up early.

[A]

Yeah, I do. Listen, I go to LAX at all different times. I got to check what time, whatever. I'm going to Orange County. I got. It's on a Saturday. I don't know. How long is it gonna take? I check it. What have we called the people who showed up too early?

[C]

Why can't we do this?

[A]

What if we called them preemies? Like premature. You know, there's premature ejaculation. That's bad. There's underweight. Underweight kid is bad.

[C]

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like preemie babies.

[A]

This guy's a preemie.

[C]

You don't want the baby to show.

[A]

Fucking pull the preemie on me.

[C]

I don't mind if the baby's a little bit early. Cause it's nice, you know, you didn't. He was saved maybe a week or so. But you don't want the baby too early.

[A]

Yeah, they have to live in an incubator.

[C]

Yeah. You don't want that. So this is like the guest arrives and they have to be in an incubator.

[A]

Yeah, they're like a preemie couple.

[C]

Right?

[D]

Because.

[A]

And that incubator's gonna be your fucking car. Sit in there, turn the heat up. Sit in there and think about what you're doing.

[C]

Right. Have it fixed, the jaundice and everything. Just take care of it. And don't put your preminess on me.

[A]

Yeah, no.

[C]

Okay, we settled it.

[A]

Preemie.

[C]

Preemie. Okay. Oh, God. That person, they're preemie.

[A]

They're the worst. And now, listen, if I say we're gonna meet at the diner, too, and you wanna show up at noon, that's your fucking business. But if we're doing Thanksgiving and it's 4, and you wanna show up at 3:15. No, no.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Now you're a preemie. Now you're a preemie.

[C]

Okay, we did it.

[A]

All right, Kelly, we will give you a plug here and then take a little break. Comfort food is the podcast. What else should we tell people?

[C]

Yeah, you can find me on Instagram. Ellyrizzo. Very easy. Just my name and yeah, comfort food comes out every Wednesday.

[A]

Always good to talk to you, my dear.

[C]

Thank you, Adam, for having me.

[A]

We'll be back with Alicia Krause in the news right after. Morgan and Morgan. Well, I've known people who've been hurt in accidents. It wasn't their fault and they tried to tough it out. No lawyer, no help. Just hoping the bills and the pain would magically sort themselves out. Spoiler alert, they don't. And that's where Morgan and Morgan comes in. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They've recovered more than $30 billion for over 500,000 clients. That is a serious track record. If you're injured because someone else was negligent, you deserve to be paid. Don't try to white knuckle it alone. Reach out to Morgan and Morgan and let the pros fight for you. It's Morgan and Morgan, right, Dawson, if

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[A]

Adam. So I'm listening to the show the other day and there's a story on the news about some dude sticking his dick in a chick's ear in a supermarket. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't your old friend Ray have a bad habit of sticking his dick in the ear of unsuspecting women? Get it on.

[B]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[A]

Well, I'd like to defend my friend Ray. That was not some ra rando woman he put his dick in the ear of. That was his mom's friend Kathy. So it had total context. And she was at home. It was not like we're at a Trader Joe's and Ray put his dick in a random woman's ear. This was his mom's friend Kathy. And they were in the privacy of Ray's mom's apartment on a weekend. And also Kathy was kind of asking for it because she was talking on the phone and she left her ear exposed. You never leave an open ear. Now, she had one with the phone. You only leave these hands on all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she. If she was a time life operator, he wouldn't have got her. But she made a couple mistakes. She sat down, mistake number one, and then she spoke on the phone. Number two, she left her open ear out. You don't leave it out. You know what I mean? You put the phone on the open side and put the wall side. You put the open ear against the wall side. So she took her open ear and she left it out to the living room. And then she sat down. And so obviously Ray had to put his dick in her ear.

[D]

How old was Ray?

[A]

Oh, he was like, you know, he was like 18. I mean, he was a kid kid. You can't expect people to know. Cortex is not

[D]

fully formed, fully formed till 25.

[A]

Right. So 18 is like prime dick in the mom's friend's ear time.

[D]

I just feel like I have a two and a half year old boy and he has not tried any of these shenanigans. I feel like as his mother, it's my responsibility to make sure that he doesn't do this to anyone.

[A]

Yeah, well, you know, Irene did the best she could, but Ray still had Kathy in the air with his dick,

[D]

you know, Is this like a hazing thing? Like, is this. Is this A thing that dudes do that I'm just completely unaware of. Like, is it like a frat boy thing or a sports thing? Like, you know, the smacking of the butts?

[A]

Nah, this is pretty unique to. This is a certain rare fried air. An elite fighting force, if you will. Not every guy can pull this off is basically what I'm saying. So this gentleman at the supermarket and Ray, they're part of a, you know, an elite fraternity.

[D]

I don't know if you even want to. I don't. I'm not gonna defend Ray, but I don't think he's in the same category as the weirdo at the Valencia Whole Foods.

[A]

No, Kathy, like I said, she knew what she was getting into. She went to visit Ray's mom. You gotta know something's gonna happen, right?

[D]

Troublemaker.

[A]

Yeah. Ray was very dick centric. Later on when his mom and dad broke up, and then his mom started dating a guy named Jim. We were sitting around in her apartment. He said to his mom, whose dick's bigger, dad's or Jim's?

[D]

Stop.

[A]

Will not stop. Will not stop.

[D]

Do you think he did to embarrass his mom or to embarrass Jim?

[A]

Well, she answered.

[D]

She did?

[A]

Yeah, she said that. She said that dad was longer, but Jim was girthier. I was like, wow, I can't believe we're having this conversation.

[D]

Do you think he did it to, like, embarrass his mom or embarrass Jim? Like, was he trying to.

[A]

Nobody was in.

[D]

He just was.

[A]

Kim wasn't in the room. But no, he just did to embarrass. I don't know why he did. Probably to embarrass his mom.

[D]

Oh, my.

[A]

I would say, but it was pretty funny.

[D]

I'd be like, get the F out of this house, sir. You ain't paying the bills. You can't talk to me like that.

[A]

Wouldn't fly. Not. Not where you came up.

[D]

Nope.

[A]

All right, so now, I don't know why, but there's all this. Every time you turn on the news, there's some new story about LA and garbage and homeless and people living in the sewers now and. Oh, you haven't seen that one.

[D]

No, I have not. You can tell by the look on my face. My kids are on spring break. I've been busy wrangling.

[A]

Oh, my God. There's, like, people living in the sewer system now. So it's like, it or HUD or what? Chud. What was chud, Dawson? Chud. Humanoid hud. Humanoid under dwelling. Cannibalistic humanoid. Under dwellers. Go.

[C]

Nerd.

[A]

Breaking free.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Cannibalistic humanoid. What was it? Underground dwelling.

[D]

Shot the D for Dwelling.

[A]

It was a movie. And my grandfather wrote the mole people. Shud. Yeah, 80s movie, whatever. All right, well, show the clip.

[D]

It's a derogatory slang word according.

[A]

Oh, you can't. Well, it's also a movie. Here's the story. Sorry. There's streetlights like this one. Joab will show you. They broke in here. Different one. Sorry.

[D]

I mean, I knew that they were stealing copper and they're stealing stuff off the train tracks.

[A]

Yeah. Now, people are just living. You don't need to show. The people are literally living underground. They're living in the sewer system. We're there. But here's my whole point. Here's me point. I thought back, like, a lot of times. I thought, you know what? I was ringing the bell early with this stuff, like, I'm from here. I was like, fellas, we're going in the wrong direction. We need to slow our roll and go, what is going on? We need to look around. You know what I mean? And it's kind of like there's a part of life where you go, well, my husband, he doesn't drink at all. He's very into fitness. Or he gets up early and he just doesn't drink. And you go, good for you. And then there's a version of life where you go, my husband, he'll have a few cocktails on the weekend or if it's at a barbecue or social setting, but he's not really a drinker, you know, but maybe he'll have a glass of wine with dinner. And then you go, my husband, he'll. During football season, he'll watch the games and he'll tilt a few. He'll tilt a few. We don't want him driving on those days. You know what I mean? And then there's a version where your husband just gets up in the morning and gargles with vodka when he's brushing his teeth.

[D]

Shows up to work drunk, Right.

[A]

And you go, okay, now, that's a problem there. You know, the glass of wine with dinner. No, no, that's fine. We can do that. We're mature adults now. We got an issue. And I've been sort of seeing La Gargle with vodka for 20 years, going, there is an issue in this town, and we need to start talking about it.

[D]

And they say, how dare you Victim shame.

[A]

Yeah. I will show you the clip now. I think Andrew said he had it had it now.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

People living like chud. All right, so over here we got. What's your name, brother? Jaren. You heard me? Yeah, yeah. Hold up, hold up. There's all sorts of footage of people living underground, outbreaking. Here's what I'm. Here's what I'm saying. I was asked by LA magazine, that's on Hollywood Boulevard. I was asked by LA magazine in about. Almost 16 years ago. Okay, 2009. It was 2010 or 11, but it was a long. This city was a different place 15 years ago. And by the way, almost coming up on 16 years ago, son, you gotta imagine people are talking about this shit like it's five, six years old.

[D]

But no, it's been happening.

[A]

It's been happening. But this was a different place 16 years ago. I was asked by LA magazine, and so was Steve Martin, and so was a couple other prominent people who were from la, essentially because it's hard to find people in the business who are from here.

[D]

They're unicorns, right?

[A]

And so they talk to Steve Martin and he talked about whoever. How much they love going to Henry's Tacos as a kid and going to the observatory and whatever. And they said to me, 16 years ago, fond memories of LA. And here's what I said. And then they called me a grump or whatever, but it says, all right, so here's my response. And this is December 1, 2010. They came to me and they thought I was gonna wax poetic about write a love letter to la. And I wrote, everyone does this thing where they go, you can get to the ocean in 25 minutes. You can get to the mountains in an hour. Isn't that wonderful? I guess the answer is yes. But the school system is unusable, traffic is horrible. Businesses are fleeing.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

I said businesses are fleeing. 16 years ago. Everyone should just come to me and go, adam, two questions. What's gonna be the future? And how do I make chicken paprikash? And we'd be living a utopia in 20 minutes. So then I write, businesses are fleeing. I don't give credit to Villaragosa, who's a retarded mayor.

[D]

We had, who's running for governor, by the way.

[A]

He's like, oh, my God.

[D]

So he failed at la, he failed la, now he wants to fail California.

[A]

Way to go to Viragosa or the city council for the mountains or the oceans. That has to do with plate tectonics. I give them credit for a graffiti problem that's so bad, the street signs have to be covered in barbed wire. And I give them. I give credit to God for doing a fair to Midland job creating the place, and to Villaragoza and the city council for fucking it up. So we did a good job from a nature standpoint. They fucked it up. Potholes and a holes. That's Los Angeles. And so it called me a grouch and also drew me like I was Gilbert Godfrey.

[D]

No, that looks nothing like you.

[A]

But here's my point.

[D]

They did draw you in a pothole. So at least I listened to what

[A]

you had to say 16 years ago. I told everyone, this is where we're heading. And everyone told me to shut the fuck up. All right.

[D]

And now we're here.

[A]

And now we're here.

[D]

And a person a day is overdosing in MacArthur Park.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

And there are homeless people everywhere.

[A]

Mm.

[D]

I feel like it is kind of scary, though. There were homeless people recently when I was in Lincoln, Nebraska. I mean, I've been in Jacksonville, Florida. I actually think it's a. It's a broader drug problem, which is why I'm team closed the border.

[A]

But, yes, yes, that could be another

[D]

conversation for another day.

[A]

It is a drug problem. Well, it's all drugs and mental whatever and just sort of both. Or maybe what the drugs do to your mental stuff. So I have another thought. So everyone's been having fun with Jennifer Newsom because she's out there talking about the first person. Yes. First partner.

[D]

First partner.

[A]

Everyone's talking about her. She's worse than Newsom. But is she, though? I'll put it to you this way. If she ever got into the position of power, I think she would be. Right now, she's just. It's 20, 26. She's in California, and her whole thing is about oppression of women.

[D]

So she does remind me a little bit. It's like she's the rich, white, fake, blonde Michelle Obama, who was like, for the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm proud of my country. And I'm like, woman, you're the first lady of the United States. Your husband, as a black man, was elected not once, but twice.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

So isn't that, like, a good thing? Isn't that something to be celebrated? I feel like Jennifer is taking a, you know, a PR kind of note out of that Michelle Obama handbook, because Michelle Obama gets awesome designer clothes and makeup and jewelry and has celebrity friends and, you know, gets lots of money for books. Maybe that's Jen's future.

[A]

We have two clips for her, and I'll play you both. But first, I'll play This one. So she thinks Pam Bondi and whoever got fired because they're women. It's good.

[G]

Trust me. I'm not a fan of Pam Bondi nor Kristi Noem, but I need to call out that it's no surprise to me that the first two prominent people pushed out of this administration were women. Let me explain. The conservative women that Trump hand picks who align themselves with an agenda that controls women, restricting our rights, limiting our autonomy, and pushing us back into this straightjacket of femininity that is only in service of men. There's a familiar pattern here. Women are brought in packaged, Mar a Lago style, and lifted up as long as they commit to wholeheartedly serve the interests of the patriot trick at the top.

[C]

Now it looks like we can pause

[A]

it for a second. God damn, do I wish this actually existed? Because I would be enjoying myself right now. I literally.

[D]

I would interrupt you less.

[A]

Oh, I vanished.

[D]

Would get on your arms way less.

[A]

I would tighten your corset and just go, shut up. What are you doing? Breathing. Yes, it is.

[D]

How dare you speak without me giving you permission. That's what it would be like.

[A]

Patriarchy. It's 2026. She's all right. Let's keep playing it. But it's great.

[G]

Wholeheartedly serve the interests of the patriarch at the top. Now, it looks like power or proximity to power with a big title, but it never comes with job security and protection. There's no secure place inside this handpicked patriarchal body that systemically disrespects, devalues, and discriminates against women and girls. And this is where complicity comes in. Because when you align yourself with. With that value system, with a leader who has publicly devalued women, degraded them, and been found liable of abusing women, well, guess what? You're going to be the first to go. So while you're in a perceived position of power in this system that regularly diminishes and devalues other women, even if you help sustain and uplift this system, your power is only temporary, and ultimately, they will come for you. That's the unfortunate truth. For all women. No woman is safe in Trump's Republican Party unless she has enough wealth or the ability to buy her own job security and safety. And so, my friends, regardless of your political affiliation, you might want to wake up and see this for what it truly is. It's a war on all women, by the way.

[A]

Do you think Gavin Newsom, where they're, like, living together in their $8 million house and she's like, honey, I'm going to go out to the hedge and shoot an urgent message. He's gotta be like, bitch, I'm running for president and I will hire a fucking homeless guy to kill you if you keep putting out these stupid videos.

[D]

No, I think you're right.

[A]

You don't know how much shit I gotta take for your dumb ass up there complaining about equality all the time when you're living in an $8 million mansion. Well, the other. There's another montage of her, but then

[D]

I think they're in on it together. I think that this is like a PR stunt to appeal to the radical left and crazy liberal donors. So as he gears up for his 2028 campaign, he could be like, look, it's not just me. It's my awesome wife too. Which is so funny because.

[A]

Excuse me, partner. Partner, not wife. Now you're part of the patriarchy.

[D]

And now I'm part of the patriarchy because I'm not rich enough.

[A]

I love that she just talks about invisible problems non stop in 2026 is not safe. Do you know no one is safe Unless you have Daddy has money, then you're safe. Or maybe you're white. No, wait a minute. All right, here's a little montage of herpet.

[G]

We're all human beings. Gender's a spectrum anyway. It's a social construct. There's so much to learn from same sex couples who have learned to communicate. I've given our boys dolls. Even if they tear the head off, I've given them dolls. I don't know if our country is ready for first partner. Sadly, I don't know if they are.

[A]

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[A]

All right, so let me just say this. I just want people to here's the whole thing. I'm gonna be philosophical here.

[D]

Can you though?

[A]

I am. And I'm not gonna judge.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I'm just gonna say this is where her interest lies in these subjects.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

And when she takes to the microphone, she talks about inequality and women and oppression and that sort of stuff. And Joe Biden talked a lot about inequity and race and others and Kamala Harrison, whoever that. They spoke a lot about that. And when Mike Rose speaks, he talks about jobs and vocational training and creating shops and shop classes because that's what he's interested in. So I'm just gonna, I'm not gonna assign a value judgment to what's better. I'm just gonna say this is what they're interested in.

[D]

But I think that Mike Rowe or you or Sean Hannity or even people on the left right that have interests that might different some of them and or most of them are genuinely interested in them. I think when it comes to her and Gavin, they seem so insincere to me that it's like she is now interested in this thing because she thinks it's going to help her and her husband politically and professionally and financially.

[A]

I agree. But it's easy to be interested in invisible problems because there's no way to solve them and there's no one held accountable. If you're interested in tangible problems, then there's a way to mark progress and money and accountability. But when Karen Bass or Kamala Harris or even Biden, half the time, three quarters of the time, or her or Newsom, when they talk, they're just talking about invisible shit that they're gonna solve. But what I'm saying is ultimately they're not interested in what you're interested in, whether they're feigning it or they're always talking about women's rights in the trans community, but they're never talking about infrastructure.

[D]

She also didn't give a solution. She told, no, no, there's never. Even as a Republican woman, I am in danger. But she didn't tell me what I could do about it.

[A]

There's never a solution. Now, when you hear Trump talk, Trump talks about nukes in Iran and building a boardroom and building a big ballroom. Why? That's what he's interested in. Does he talk about trans rights? No, he doesn't. Neither does Mike Rowe. Neither is Amcarolla, because we don't give a shit about that. So you guys have this incredible interest in this stuff, and that's not good for running states and cities because it means you're all ceremony and no pothole filling. All right, should we do some news with you?

[D]

We should. Speaking of Trump saying stuff and things that he's interested in, my favorite clip from the Easter weekend was him explaining to a whole bunch of children at the White House Easter Egg roll about Biden's auto pen. Did you see this?

[A]

It's so funny. I would treat Trump. The people I know in Hollywood and the people on the left look at Trump like they look at Wray. They go, can you believe he put his dick in Kathy's ear? And I go, isn't that the greatest? Isn't that the best? And they go, whoa, no. And I go, that's the best.

[D]

My favorite is this little boy with this, like, head on his hand, like, intently listening, trying to understand who he's talking about.

[A]

So here is, he's sitting at the kids table with 6 year olds, 5 year olds. I can sign, order 25,000. Oh, that's nice. I think I'm going to sign this that way.

[B]

I say, I drew it.

[A]

Look, I drew it. Look what I did. Everybody would use the auto. He'd have an auto follow. He didn't sign. He was incapable of signing things in. So they follow him around with this big machine, an auto skull, an auto pen. And he'd have the auto pen signed to him. He'd take the paper, hand it to his guys, sign it with an auto pen to the back. Exactly. I mean, I stalking a 5 year old.

[D]

That one little girl is like, who?

[E]

What?

[D]

I mean, I don't think you can actually sell something that the president signed for 25 grand. If that was true, Good on those kids. I think that's why they were like, can you sign this for me then. Well, but the auto pen thing is too funny.

[A]

Not now, but if you had something Abraham Lincoln signed, you might get 25

[D]

grand for those kids. Need to wait like 200 years, 250 years or 500.

[A]

They pass it on to their children and they pass it on and then they get something of value versus me getting a Tony Bennett cd.

[D]

But it's like, you know what you're gonna get with Trump? That is the way that he just behaves and acts and he's like, you want me to sign this for you? I'll sign this for you. It's good for you that I'm signing this for you. And also, I'm better than the last guy cuz I can actually write my name.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, it's hilarious.

[A]

Remember when Biden got whisked away by the Easter Bunny?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

God, it's so pathetic. We had a zombie.

[D]

The Easter Bunny's like, don't come over here, old man. Don't be caught on people's cell phones being delusional. Cause then it looks bad.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[D]

Come back to your curated photo line.

[A]

Yeah, but no one from any credible news outlet knew anything. They couldn't tell cheap fake. Easter Bunny was a cheap fake.

[D]

For years and years.

[A]

For years and years. Okay, journalists, nice job.

[D]

Still Trump related, but now moving from domestic to international matters. Also over the weekend, Trump did a White House press conference where he was talking about negotiations with Iran. And this gem came out of it.

[A]

We have 45,000 soldiers in South Korea to protect us from Kim Jong Un, who I get along with very well, as you know. Do you notice he said very nice things about me? He used to call Joe Biden a mentally retarded person. Okay, so don't tell me about your stuff. Joe Biden, he said he's a mentally retarded person. He was so nasty to Joe Biden. It was terrible. But to me, he likes Trump. And do you notice how nice things are with North Korea? It's very nice.

[D]

I mean, arguable if things are very nice with North Korea right now, but.

[A]

Well, they've not been in the news. Like, I would argue North Korea would be like an uncle who was a horrible alcoholic. But you'd go, he hasn't gotten a DUI in a while. Like, that's your sort of argument for him. Like, he's just drinking at home.

[D]

He's in the living room and not bothering anybody.

[A]

He's riding his bike.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

To go get more booze. He's not driving anymore.

[D]

Except we know that the drunk uncle in the living room sends out drones to other nations that then allows them to invest in terror.

[A]

Yes, but.

[D]

Okay, yes, but anyway, that was hilarious. A lot of people Are very excited that the R word is coming back into vogue, apparently.

[A]

I remember exactly where I was. I was on stage at the Improv. I don't think who. I was with a comedian up there, but he was explaining to me that I couldn't use the R word. Oh, on stage at the Improv.

[D]

Is it because you're not one, or is it. Is it like the N word that you can use it only if you are of that category? Like, if you call yourself one, is that okay?

[A]

I don't know. I. I just rejected that because I was like, first off, as a comedian, you get to say whatever you want. And people can decide whether they like it or not, but you get to say whatever you want. That's why you do it. And also, I think I'm grandfathered in because I've worked on a lot of car engines, and whenever you're doing the timing, you either advance the timing or you retard that timing. And so I've gotten to say retard in context many times.

[C]

A lot of times.

[A]

A lot of context.

[D]

I just always think of that scene from the Hangover when Zach Galifianakis says

[A]

it, oh, yeah, it's too good a word to get rid of. And you've taken away a lot from us white heterosexual guys over the years

[D]

of being able to call it your friends that because you're not.

[A]

I mean, no, we've taken away. We have to say African American now, and we can't say, well, queer is weird. You took queer. We had queer, and then you took queer away, and then now we got queer back.

[D]

No, I think the gay community has queer back. You're still not allowed to say queer.

[A]

We've done a lot of bending ourselves into pretzels for stupid words that you guys want us to say. In the last, like, 25 years, we're hanging on to retard.

[D]

One of my favorite. Speaking of African American, one of my favorite things was, I think when Obama was president, he went somewhere and he met like, a Miss Universe that was from Ethiopia or something, and it was like the New York Times or somebody wanted to call her an African American.

[A]

Right, right, of course. Right.

[D]

No, she's like a black woman. Yes, but they didn't say, like, Ethiopian. And they called her African American. And then people were like, no, that's not accurate because she's not American. Like, you can't call her that.

[A]

It's also, if you really break it down, saying colored person, which you can't say, versus person of color, doesn't make any sense at all? It's like saying he's a Yankees fan. No, no, he's a fan of the Yankees. Look, isn't that the same thing? No, no, no. Saying Yankees fan is super offensive fan of the Yankees. That is the tip of the cap. And it's like you just said the same fucking thing.

[D]

I saw.

[A]

You're just trying to trip people up.

[D]

Like white, black, brown. Those are the general skin tones, right? I have some friends, they posted a funny reel over the weekend. It was this guy that's like when you're kind of an ambiguous brown skinned person that people don't know where you're from. And then he dressed up, he was like, am I Persian, Am I Israeli, am I Mexican, am I Puerto Rican?

[A]

Right?

[D]

I was like, it does encompass so many beautiful and awesome places.

[A]

Well, it goes back to was it Valerie, Jared? Was it? And Roseanne going, I didn't know the bitch was black. When you look at her, she's got straight hair, she looks sort of tan. And I don't know that she presents as a black woman. But anyway, it's all nonsense meant to distract. And it's a paragraph, There's a clip. You got another story?

[D]

I do.

[A]

What is the story?

[D]

Speaking of nonsense, circling back to nonsense, here in California, Gavin Newsom's rail project is now expected to cost. Wait for it. Do you want a drum roll? 126 billion with a B dollars. This is CBS. 60 Minutes over the weekend did a post and the California. Delayed, of course, way over budget. High speed train. It was. Why am I blanking? Jerry Brown, he's the one that started this ridiculousness and then Newsom continued it. That was 13 years ago when I moved here.

[A]

It is also weird when 60 Minutes starts doing their fucking job. It's kind of weird. Like, yeah, I could have been very wise. They've been right. Barry wise, she's been. 60 Minutes has been nothing but a left wing propaganda machine for 15 years. And now all of a sudden they're doing something. They're doing journalism. It's shocking. It's weird.

[D]

So in this, they talk to a guy named. I don't know how to pronounce his name. Tex Olmeshekin.

[A]

Yeah, he's the. What is he?

[D]

He's the secretary of California State Transportation Industry. And then they're talking to this gentleman that we'll show in a second, Anthony Williams, who's the California High Speed Rail Authority board member. Which, by the way, when you have two different, like, roles that are on boards and Authorities that are doing shit like. There's your red flag that we have problems.

[A]

Yeah, we'll play. Let's play it as we speak right now. Are the funds there to complete L. A to San Francisco? The entire amount of money we need. Not there today. But do we believe we can get those funds to get the project done? Absolutely. How much do you estimate it's going to cost to connect high speed rail, San Francisco to L. A today? We estimate with the right optimization, just over $125 billion. I think $126 billion is the current estimate estimate for that. That's more funding than Amtrak has received in its history and still leaves a shortfall of roughly $90 billion. That's a big gap to fill. It is a big gap to fill. But again, we have an understanding of how to get there and to fill that gap. You do?

[D]

How?

[A]

And they know. Now here's the thing, Alicia, you're not going to like this, okay?

[D]

You're going to blame women.

[A]

No, blacks.

[D]

Oh God.

[A]

There's two black men sitting there right now. Here's what I'm saying.

[D]

But they're working for the white men who told them to do this job.

[A]

But here's the problem with dei. You have a program that is a massive failure, just unmitigated disaster. I don't know if there's anything that compares to it in this history of this nation. This is big boondoggle and disaster. Is that rail is right?

[H]

Yep.

[A]

So then you go, well, who's in charge around here? Cuz somebody seems incompetent or corrupt. Then you see two black men, right? Problem with dei, you don't have to defend black people. It's not their fault. This is not that. This is not where I'm heading.

[D]

Okay?

[A]

California is 6% black population. You have two black men who are running, or you're interviewing, at least higher up. And in charge of this are these DEI hires. Is the guy a DEI hire? Is Gavin Newsom? Like the idea of having a black

[D]

man, somebody in that role?

[A]

Because it seems weird that in a population that's 6% black, the two guys who are in charge of the rail are black. And here's the problem with dei. I have no idea why either one of these guys is involved with this project, who hired them, or what it was based on, but it makes me think it's a DEI hire, which is not fair to those guys, is what I'm saying. And this is the problem with dei. Gavin Newsom or whomever would always factor in gender and race into any higher. And by the way, any public sort of high profile, whatever, they always have to factor it in. It's impossible that they don't. I mean, Joe fucking Biden, Karen Bass was almost. Karen Bass was almost a vice president. Retarded socialist commie was going to be the. Because. Because Biden said it's gonna be a woman of color. So don't tell me it doesn't factor in.

[D]

Supreme Court pick too who's an imbecile who cannot define what a woman is.

[A]

Yes, Right. So. So it's sad, but I now look at two black guys who don't know how to create a rail. And I go, is it because they're DEI hires, that's their fault for creating this? I don't wanna think that. I wanna think they got the best and the brightest. But knowing I think the Gavin Newsom and whoever that factored in, I think

[D]

it could factor in. I also think for leftists too.

[A]

Could they announce it's factoring in? It has to factor.

[D]

It's also like loyalty. Like I bet you these guys background has been. You know how bureaucracy say that five times fast. Bureaucracy begets bureaucracy.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

No, they're loyal. Worked their way up the ladder of working in government and had somebody be like, oh, you know, they should run this project. Give them an opportunity. And that's how it happened. And a lot of these people in government just fail up and continue to fail like this. This project was doomed from the start because it was stupid and over bloated. Anyway.

[A]

I agree. I'm just saying.

[D]

So I think that whoever is at

[A]

the top of it, thank you for that. They factor race in. Yes.

[D]

You should call these guys. You should have 60 minutes call these guys and be like, follow up.

[A]

They factor race in. Yes. Okay. And I'm looking at two black guys and I'm wondering if they're qualified. And that's the problem with dea.

[D]

So here is how we spin it. Gavin Newsom hates black people so much

[A]

that he puts him in charge of failed projects.

[D]

He puts them in charge of failed projects. So he's not held accountable. He's trying to make the minority man look bad.

[A]

We have. You're right. We have a blast from the past. This is Karen Bass, by the way, our mare. She's in first place. I think the woman's in second place. Is a socialist as well.

[D]

She's a feminine Menomi Mamdani is the other chick.

[A]

She's semi retarded.

[D]

Since we're bringing that word back.

[A]

She is Full retard. She's the one who blames Toyota. But listen, forget about this. Listen to Karen Bass and how fucking dumb she is.

[H]

Described him as Comedante and Jefe when he died. And then you said something like, they're

[A]

sorry, go back to beginning. She's talking about Fidel Castro. She decided it'd be good idea to send some praise out for Fidel Castro.

[H]

Described him as comedante and Jefe when he died. And then you said something that I found interesting. You said you didn't quite realize how sensitive folks were in South Florida about this.

[A]

Still no. And

[H]

so I'm just curious, sort of, that you thought, well, Californians wouldn't mind that description, but it might offend Floridians. Forget that a minute. It still seemed as if you had a soft view of Castro.

[E]

I think the use of the term comandante and Jefe, what I meant by that is, is that clearly in Florida, that is a term that is endearing to him. I didn't see it that way.

[A]

All right, hold on. What do you mean you didn't see it that way? Every time I walk on a job site, I'm like, the jefe is here. Like that's how they. Everyone knows.

[D]

Uh huh. El Jefe.

[A]

You either don't know the word or you know it and you know what it means. It's not, I know the word, but I don't know what it means.

[D]

Once again, she's trying to make anybody who understands Spanish seem stupid. Like as she, as this wise, ever all knowing, powerful mayor of Los Angeles knows better than you. Someone who maybe grew up in a Spanish speaking household because she knows what Jefe means, but you do not.

[A]

I love that she's trying to present it like she was just giving him a title. By the way, she can just say Fidel Castro. Then she doesn't need the Comandante and the Jefe and she doesn't need all that. But anyway, she loves Fidel Castro. That's the problem. But let her keep talking in a circle for a second.

[H]

It still seemed as if you had a soft view of Castro.

[E]

I think the use of the term Comandante en Jefe, what I meant by that is that clearly in Florida that is a term that is endearing to him. I didn't see it that way. I was expressing condolences to the Cuban people, talked immediately to my colleagues from Florida and realized that that was something that just shouldn't have been said.

[H]

But it's not. You said you were expressing condolences to the Cuban people.

[A]

People.

[H]

There's many people who believe that the Castro regime in general was keeping them confined, was. Was stifling their freedom, that it actually getting rid of Castro might have been a celebration to some.

[E]

Yeah, maybe. And in the island, I love slightly different because, you know, they certainly didn't have the freedom and wouldn't have the freedom to celebrate that. Let me just say.

[A]

Wait a second, hold on a second. What does she mean? First off, she got asked like, what did she mean by the Jefe and the Comandante? And then she was like, I didn't know that the people from Florida. Florida would take it that way. But that doesn't explain what you meant by it. That's how people perceived it.

[D]

And then I'm sorry for the Cuban people who lost their leader that they hated, who imprisoned them and who.

[A]

But her explanation was the people in Florida, they don't like Fidel. But what about the people who couldn't get in an inner tube and paddle their way to Florida? Who.

[D]

Good on Chuck Todd for following up on that.

[A]

It's so funny, though, to watch leftist news guys try to extract information. They're like, well, but you do understand that maybe sometimes, kind of, that some people might have some thought about a negative thought, perhaps just a little bit, with only some people, like, listen to him squirm, trying to ask her a fucking real question. But what does she mean at the end? You can go back 10 seconds where she says, but the people on the island couldn't celebrate or couldn't. What did that mean? Yeah, watch soft view of Castro.

[E]

I think the use of the term Comandante en Jefe, what I meant by that is that clearly in Florida, that is a term that is endearing to him. I didn't see it that way. I was expressing condolences to the Cuban people, talked immediately to my colleagues from Florida and realized that that was something that just shouldn't have been said.

[H]

But it's not. You said you were expressing condolences to the Cuban people. There's many people who believe that the Castro regime in general was keeping them confined, was. Was stifling their freedom, that it actually getting rid of Castro might have been a celebration to some.

[E]

Yeah, maybe. And in the island, I think it's slightly different because, you know, they certainly didn't have the freedom and wouldn't have the freedom to celebrate that.

[A]

Let me just say. Wait, what does that mean? They wouldn't have the freedom to celebrate that.

[D]

Celebrate his death? I think that's maybe what she meant. So she's trying to pivot.

[A]

Doesn't that mean that's a horrible regime, that people wanted to celebrate his death, but they would have been shot by his son?

[D]

I think she's trying to have her cake and eat it too, and pivot. But, I mean, are we really surprised that she talks like this when look at more recently in history that the left and lots of the media were trying to say that us liberating people in Central America. Yeah. Or Venezuela of Maduro is a bad thing? Like all the ways in which it's a sovereign nation. And is this what the people really want? And why are we getting involved?

[A]

There is no. First off, there's no one they hate more than Trump. So it doesn't matter if you're a tyrannical dictator. They still hate Trump more. And you know they found that downed aviator.

[C]

The.

[A]

The coordinates guy. Yeah. How fucking pissed were all the Democrats? They would never say into a hot mic. There's no. You could not convince anyone. They were waiting for that million years that Ilhan Omar was happy to see that guy come home. She wanted to see him paraded through the streets and beaten. The streets of Tehran.

[D]

Yep. So she could say, I told you so.

[A]

Oh, my God. There's no way. They all broke a pencil when they found out that guy was back safely coming back to the base. So they. Fuck it. They hate Trump more than they hate Fidel Castro or any horrible regime. And she's just a. Listen again, Dawson.

[B]

Yo.

[A]

Ask me how much I talk about trans rights and women's rights.

[B]

Hey, boss, I'm wondering how much do you talk about trans rights and women?

[A]

Fucking zero. Because I have no interest in it. Now ask me how many times I've been to Cuba.

[B]

How many times you've been to Cuba?

[A]

Fucking zero. As many times as I've been to the Gay Pride parade. But you wanna know why? Not interested. Not interested. She's been to Cuba, like, 23 times. She is interested in Cuba. She likes Cuba, so that's what we get. And then we put her in charge of our city and she runs it like fucking Cuba. So that's where we're at. Nithya Raman.

[D]

Oh, God, this is a polymarket.

[A]

Yeah, but she's number one. Karen Bass is literally two of the scariest dingbats on the planet are vying to run Los Angeles. But again, it's not their fault. She's scarier. It's the people who are voting for

[B]

them that I really want to kill.

[D]

But in defense of Those people, even in the exit polling from the Mamdani mayoral race where he obviously won in New York City, the majority of people who voted for him did not even know what his policy points were. Yes, they were walking away saying, no, we're not okay with shutting down the special schools and high schools and high achieving student programs. What do you mean? They're not okay with rent control or free buses because they know they're going to become homeless.

[B]

We do not have an informed electorate.

[A]

That's true.

[D]

I'm just saying. So it's not always, yes, we need a more informed electorate. But I don't think it's that they are completely aware of the dangers of what Nithya and Mamdani and all these

[A]

other actors are talking about. But it's still on them because they should fucking figure it out. And Nithya Ram is going to do the first woman of Middle Eastern descent to ever run a man. And they'll do that like they did first black woman. And it's like, okay, great, we had a black mare, we had a spanic, we had a black man, we had a Hispanic man for two terms.

[D]

Black woman.

[A]

We have a black woman. And now we're gonna get the first. And it's like the first to fuck it up even worse. All right, this Friday and Saturday, Salt Lake City, Utah, Wise Guys Comedy club. Got a couple shows there go out. But two, two shows a night. And Sunday, Solana Beach. Man, that place is fun. Belly up. We'll do a live pod. We'll do a stand up show. There's to just go to AdamCarolla.com off to Phoenix at the Desert Ridge Improv. After that, check out our merch store. We got a couple of new T shirts I think you're gonna like. Alicia Krause. Where do we find you?

[D]

Daily Wire and On the Gram.

[A]

And until next time, it's Adam Crolla for Kelly Rizzo and Alicia Krause saying mahalo.

[B]

Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail at 888-6341 1744 and get tickets to see Adam Carolla in Utah this [e-mail].

[F]

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