Adam Carolla (6:01)

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Adam Carolla (6:11)

Myself because they opened an Equinox gym on Sunset Boulevard and pch, Sunset is Sunset and goes all the way down and just dies at pch. And for months I've been seeing a sign that said Equinox Gym coming soon. And I live two miles the other direction, but it's right on my way to work. And I got this AMEX card which gets me a free membership. And I was like, I'm gonna use the hell out of that place every day before I go to work. I'm just gonna stop there, take a sauna, cold plunge, take a Pilates class or whatever. So I honored my word. It opened a couple of weeks ago and by cracky, I've been doing something I never do, which is work out in the morning. On my way in, I do what winners do. Winners work out in the morning, mediocre to mid pack, winners work out in the evening and then losers never work out. That's kind of the break. The real winners are the I get up at 5:30 and I swim 10 miles at the gym. Those people, the ones, they're the ones in the tampon commercials that are just taking over the world. And I said, I want to be a winner. So I was going to get up, work out in the morning, I take the cold plunge and I'm going to use the hell out of this place. And I announced to the heavens, I'm on like five days in a row, I've never done that before. And I step out to the balcony, it's up like four stories, getting ready to go to my car. And it's right on Sunset, right at pch. And I just look to the left, I see huge plumes of smoke. And if you go back and you go, oh, they think the fire started between 10:30 and 11:00 or about 10:45 on whatever morning. That's exactly when I stepped out there because I had to be at the studio at 11:45 to do a segment with Drew. So it was gonna take me about an hour. So I gave myself a little extra time. But right then I was right there. I stood right there and watched a fire start. Then I got on PCH and I drove toward the shop and then I went in, had a long day of podcasting and then finished up about 4:30 or 5 and then got back in the car. But by this time they'd closed off PCH at Topanga. Topanga is closer towards Santa Monica and the 10 freeway and the pier and all that. And so basically what it would be is if you go on pch, you start in Santa Monica, you'll cross Sunset, you'll cross Topanga, and then eventually you'll get down toward the Ventura county line at the end. But all the way through, you go through the colonies, you go through Malibu, you go by Pepperdine, you go by. Go. Go by Point Doom and Zuma beach and all the famous beaches and Paradise Cove and everything like that. So I'm down further away from Santa Monica. But anyway, by the time it's time to drive back, well, now I can't come in the way I normally come in, but I can go the other direction where Pepperdine is, through Las Vergines, through the canyon, come around and go backside. I make it back to my condo. Now, I'm not that worried about it because the condo's built in 91 and it's untouched by fire. So we got 35 years of not being burnt by a fire. So you think, well, all right, you're in a position that the fires don't normally get to because there's fires every 10 minutes. There was a fire three and a half weeks ago. So there's a fire in Malibu every 10 minutes. But this place has been there since Paul Abdul was on the top of the charts. So you think you're gonna be okay? I come in, eat a couple of pot stickers, ass hits the sofa. I'm in there for about 20 minutes, and my girlfriend says she just got the alert on her phone, it's time to evacuate. And I say, really? I just drove here an hour and a half in traffic from Glendale. Where are we evacuating to? She said, well, why don't we just go back to the studio in Glendale? And it's got a bathroom with sofas. It's like, it's comfortable, it's got television set. And I go, okay, so I'm just going to turn around and drive back to Glendale. Yes. What are our choices? And then I go, okay. And I'm waiting for the power to go off because emotionally I want the power to go off so that I can say, good, let's get out of here. I need tv. You don't get it. I have to watch TV at night, and with no power, there's no chance of that. So I go, I know the power is going to go off, but I wish it went off so I could then justify leaving and driving an Hour and a half in a windstorm, back to Glendale. So it's dark now, and I'm gonna load up the car with all the bags we packed. And I turn on the porch light, the stair lights, and out front of the garage lights, and I take one step down the staircase and everything goes black. And I pause and I think, well, I wish the lights were on so I could load up this car and see what I was doing. But I'm happy. I'm happy because now there's no power. No power means no tv. No TV means I need to flee. So I go, good, we have no power. Good, let's leave. I turn around, I walk back up the stairs. I get in the living room, the power comes on. I go, now the power's on. Why the power go? Last time this happened, the power's off for a day. This time it was off for two and a half minutes. So I go, okay, I'm gonna sit down and watch a little tv just to. Just to get a. Just to get a little fix, a little hit, a little freeze. And I sit down. But the. But the wifi's out and I don't have any TV to watch. And I go, all right, fuck it. No tv. Good. Pack it up. Pack it all up and head to Glendale, where the studio is now. Along the way, wind. Wind like I've never seen before. I've been in this place for near 60 years and I've never seen wind like this. And the wind is going hard. I mean, it's really crazy. Sodom and Gomorrah out there. It's. It's. It's. It's insane out there. And pull in to the shop, start noticing, Start noticing telephone pole, wires everywhere. And I'm gonna put up a picture. Joe's gonna put it up. A picture I took about five hours after I went on a mega rant about telephone poles and wires and why the fuck can't we bury these things in the ground? And why are we spending $200 billion on a high speed rail that no one gives a fuck about? And we don't have wires in the ground in 20, 25. No, no, this poll, you got to see this picture, Dawson. This is right across the street. Yep, the polls knocked over. There's power. There's power wires in the street. Now I'm driving around going, oh, I just went on an epic rant. The winds are 80 miles an hour at this point. I'm like, I just went on an epic rant about power lines. And now I'M going to be killed when one of these things falls over and smashes my car while I'm sitting here. Because it's just power lines all the way up and down. And then I get to the shop and the power's out at the shop. That's karma, because I was hoping the power was out in Pasadena so I could justify. Sorry, I'll get to Pasadena and Drew in a second. But in Malibu, so I could justify leaving Malibu. But the power stayed on, but it then went out in Glendale. So now I realize there's no stand with no power in Glendale. And all these power poles are knocked over and there's hot wires everywhere. And also, when you hear the news, they're like, well, the firemen are trying to fight the fire, but these are hot wires and power poles have fallen over, and they're in the streets and they're creating a hazard, and they can't go in there, and they don't know if the wires are hot or not. It's like, yes, yes, yes. That's everything I said everything. I've just been talking about everything they could have fixed. It's very knowable. It's very doable. It gets the reason we have fires is because it's super windy. And when it gets super windy, old shit that's tall and thin falls over. That's how it works. So the oldest and the thinnest are the power poles. So they're going to fall over and they're going to cause a fire, or they're just going to be in the street and the firemen are going to have to deal with it. And by the way, the firemen are spraying water on everything. So now it's hot wires and water. Very knowable. Very doable, everybody. But. All right, we've chosen not to do it. So I then check into a hotel in Burbank, California, and then, of course, turn on the news and watch the chaos. Now, the way the fires work in Malibu is they stay up in the hills. It's sort of like we used to have looting, looting during riots. Like when Rodney King was beaten in la. Rioted. They riot in these neighborhoods. They stay in their neighborhoods until the Koreans get on the roof and shoot at them. They stay in their neighborhood and riot and burn down their own neighborhood. Recently, they're like, why are we burning down our own neighborhood? We can go to Beverly Hills or Santa Monica and get their shit. They've got much better stuff over there than we got. And they figured it out. Well, the fire is sort of the same thing. The fires in Malibu used to stay up in the hills, the brush fires. So there wasn't any. There wasn't any fuel for them down by the ocean. Obviously, the ocean is not fuel. The sand is not fuel. And then there's homes that run along the sand and the ocean, but then there's a pretty wide strip of highway PCH in between, and the fire would come down the hill and stop. Well, now it has jumped. And once it jumps, then all bets are off, because anything can burn in Malibu once it jumps. And the houses. Somebody sent me a video. We'll post it. The video starts off basically in front of my condo, but down the hill from my condo, and then proceeds to go down, down PCH toward Pepperdine, toward Santa Barbara, north. And every single structure is burnt on the water side of pch, which is nuts. And average price for those homes is $14 million. And every single one of them's gone all the way down. Except for, wildly, the beach club I belong to, which is nothing but four by six lattice work on top, totally pristine, untouched. And then it goes past the beach place and goes right back to burnt dwellings. I have no idea how this beach club, which is 100ft of like 4 by 8 lattice work up top, completely untouched, Just open wood. That's all, really it is, with one big, long sort of lattice piece of work, couple little dwellings, you know, bathroom. Completely unmolested, completely untouched. The fire goes right up to it. It burns every single dwelling up to it, then goes up past it and begins burning everything on the other side of it. It's uncanny. Dawson, you got to see this. Joe, it's uncanny, isn't it? It's weird because it's all just made out of wood.

Adam Carolla (19:22)

And if it's lattice, though, is that maybe not giving a space for an ember to catch?

Adam Carolla (19:29)

I mean, it's hard for an ember to land on, like a 4 by 8 and start a fire. It does need kindling, so to speak. So some insulation or some thinner material. Yes, I mean, you're right. It's just. It's still. It's incongruous that this big wooden. This big structure made out of wood did not catch on fire. But anyway, it just keeps going. And it's a guy just driving down PCH in his truck and he started narrating. Somebody sent it to me. Those are my neighbors. When I look out the window of my living room, I see, or used to see all those houses, and they are multi. Multimillion dollar dwellings. Just. Just right on down the run now. So that's where the fire is. Now, as far as. Did my dwelling catch on fire? Well, you would assume that if the fire was up in the hill and the. The houses down on the beach caught on fire directly in front of my house, then I would be in between those two, and I would most certainly be burnt down. And so my girlfriend woke me up this morning basically sobbing and saying that our house was gone, the condo was gone. And then I said, how do you know the condo's gone? And then she said somebody in the neighborhood texted a woman, texted her, and she got confirmation and it was gone. So I was like, wow, it's pretty. Pretty bummed out. And then started thinking about my 1/5 scale model of my Hawaiian Tropic 935 beautiful model that was sitting in my closet, started thinking about that being gone. And then about a half hour later, the same person texted back and said, maybe it's not gone. Which I just. I don't appreciate that part of life. I just don't. I just don't. But I was still relieved to hear maybe it's not gone. After literally being woken up to. It's gone. So now, in the interim, you know, some. Some good stuff, Jimmy reached out, asked me if I want to stay with him, and so on and so forth. So. But if this place is gone, I really. I really don't know what I would do. But I will go on a little mini rant here for a second, which is these people of the Palisades of Malibu, of parts of Santa Monica. These people are all homeless. They're officially homeless. They fit the definition of homeless because they are unhoused. And I know you guys don't like to say junkies or mental nut jobs. You like to say homeless or the unhoused community. Our unhoused community. Okay? Everyone in Malibu's unhoused now. And everyone in the Palisades is unhoused. The great Steve Guttenberg, who we'll be hearing from later, is unhoused. I am unhoused. And all Jay Z and Beyonce may be unhoused, along with Bill Simmons and everyone else. And the Palisades and Santa Monica were all unhoused. Anyone sleeping on the sidewalk tonight? Anybody? Nobody. Nobody's sleeping outdoors tonight. But why? We're out. We're unhoused, run, housed. So of course we should be sleeping in a refrigerator box underneath the fucking overpass. But we're not. Why not? Because it's not about the house, you fucking retards. I have a network. They don't have a network because they're junkies and they burnt every. They burnt every bridge in their life. That's why. Not because of the house. I can go to Dr. Drew's house and crash at his house and. Or I can go to Jimmy's house and crash at his house and. Or I can afford to check into a hotel room. I am unhoused, but I have a network. And I'm not mentally insane, and I'm not a drug addict. Thus, none of the people who just got de. Housed are. Are going to be unhoused. They're all sleeping in a bed tonight. It's not their bed. Could be a hotel, could be a friend, could be a family member, but they are going to sleep indoors tonight. Every single one of them. Every one of them. So you want to talk about unhoused house, housing problem. We got a problem with a shortage of housing. No, we don't. These are drug addicts who can't hold down a job and function in society. So there you go. It's not about the house. We're all the house. Everyone in Malibu has no house. Okay, so, sidebar. Tell me what you guys think of this. I just looked down. I was making all kinds of random notes. I'm sitting in here. I'm sitting in my hotel room this morning. Thank God. I took my very plush bathrobe and my cozy ass slippers high boy slippers that come up way past the ankle, fleece lined, you know, beautiful. And this big, cushy plush thing. I'm like a warlock with, like a wizard with this thing. Like, the thing hangs down longer than my arms. It almost drags on the ground. Okay. In a world. And so I go, I say to my girlfriend, where's the cafe? I gotta get some coffee. And she goes, oh, it's a cafe's in the lobby. And I go, man, do I gotta put on sweatpants and flip flops? But here's my question. Honestly, in 2025, I go to LAX. I see women walk around in goddamn pajamas. They're wearing pajama bottoms, a sports bra and slippers. And I see women, I go to the gym. Everyone's wearing yoga pants and a sports bra. I can see every pub bump, every contour, every ingrown hair on an ass cheek. It's all there. Why is it unacceptable for me to walk out in a bathrobe and slippers now? It is, but why? I am showing less flesh than anybody in this entire hotel when I put the Bathrobe on. I mean, I know I look like an insane mob boss or something, but it should be acceptable if women are just going out in the yoga pants and the cycling shorts and literally at lax, I see women wearing pajama bottoms and fuzzy slippers. You want a utopia? This world would be if I could just head out my robe. And by the way, I'm in a robe. You know what I mean? Muhammad Ali wore a robe to go to the ring. You know what I mean? Like, I just put trunks on underneath, put the robe on and put. Why can't I go into this lobby with my robe and my slippers and get a coffee without scornful looks? That's all I'm saying. Because you're showing leg. I'm not showing. How long is the robe, Dawson? I could put on trunks and walk out. So this is your theory? Well, no, you don't have a theory, Todd. Your theory is my knees are showing. First off, I told you was the longest, plushiest robe ever. I'm not showing anything. I go. The robe. The robe's eight foot long. It's in the next. It's in the next room. No. What do you think I'm wearing a robe? Like I work at a rub and tug or something?

Adam Carolla (27:37)

Well, I thought if you're wearing boxers and a robe, they get. Goes just to your knees. I think that's inappropriate if it goes to the floor. Well, covers your legs or you're wearing sweatpants.

Adam Carolla (27:48)

All right, Dawson, then I don't think this is why you don't get a microphone when you wear basketball trunks that go to your knees. I mean, shorts. You could go out in shorts. Right?

Adam Carolla (28:00)

All right, I think. And that's why you're getting the dirty looks.

Adam Carolla (28:05)

No, no, no. I'm not saying it is different. I'm saying it shouldn't be different. I am covered. Well, I'm much more covered up than you would be wearing a T shirt and swim trunks and walking out there. Much more to me. Well, remember, the robe hung down past my hands and the biggest, plushest. Okay. All right. Anyway. Got it. Yes. He's already wearing his gliders or sliders. Are those slides or glides? I can't figure it out. Anyway. Anyway. All right, so on a happy note, I guess all the Winnebagos that were parked up and down pch where they're cooking meth out of those things surely are gone because those would have burnt up in the fire. They'll be the first ones back, by the way. Like here, you want to know the comedy. The comedy is the guys who lost their $20 million homes on the oceanside of PCH will be knee deep in the permit process. They will be trying to pull permits when the guys in the Winnebagos will have been back for months, months before those guys ever get a permit. As a matter of fact, good fucking luck because here's the deal. Alan Hamill and Suzanne Somers moved because they could not get a permit to rebuild their home of 40 years on the ocean on PCH, right? So here's what's going to happen. Let me just give you guys a little primer of what's going to happen. You know how Bill Maher seems real conservative now when he's like arguing with Jane Fonda about regulations, too many regulations, like strangling everything. Because remember when Bill Maher tried to put solar in his house in Beverly Hills? That's when he turned against the government because he saw what the government and the overreach of government and over regulation does. He got strangled. It took him three years to build a solar shack. He had all countdown on his show. You know, day 1000 since I've got my permit for my solar, he turned, okay, the people who live in Malibu, who live in Santa Monica, who live in the Palisades, those are some of the most progressive blue voters in the. Well, in the world or in the United States. They are a bastion of blue. So what those guys did is all the people in the Palisades, I checked it out, it's about 80% blue, 80% progressive, 80% democrat. Now these pussies are all sitting around crying about Karen Bass. Water pressure, how come the forest wasn't cleared of all the brush. What's happening with the infrastructure? You guys all voted for Karen Bass, the mayor of Los Angeles. You all voted for Gavin Newsom. And now you fucking get what you get. Oh, now that your house is on fire, well, now you're thinking about something else. Now you want to know what's going on? What's going on around here. You didn't give a shit about what was going on when other people's houses were on fire. But now you care. So here's what's going to happen. All these people who were deep blue Democrats are now going to have to pull a permit to rebuild. And they're going to get the 28 year old bitch from the Coastal Commission telling them to go fuck off. And then they're going to vote for Trump or whoever's Trumpian next. You see, they're Going to get turned. They're going to get turned hard because as I've always said, live in the rent control apartment in Santa Monica. Fine, good. We know how you vote. Go deal with the city, try to pull a permit. These are going to be thousands of homes, super wealthy people. And these people don't want to live in Van Nuys. They like it where they are. They love Malibu, they love the Palisades, they love Santa Monica. There's going to be a whole bunch of rich people and they're going to go, I'm rebuilding and I want to rebuild as fast as I can. And between the part where they go in to planning commission and plan check and initially and try to pull a permit to the time the first load of lumber, the first load of two by fours is dropped off on their lot or their house formerly stood, it's going to be three years and 1,000 permits and 1,000 arguments and a thousand discussions with the Coastal Commission, not to mention little tidbits that they didn't think about. Like Carson Daly, you want a swimming pool? Yep. Gotta be double hold. Really? Yeah, why? What if water leeches out and gets into the groundwater table? Carson Daly had to build a swimming pool like a modern day oil tanker. Had to put like a double hold. That's all right. It'll just cost 500 grand for a swimming pool like that. They're going to be. When they start getting the regulation, they're gonna go nuts. And when they start running into the bureaucracy and the red tape, they're gonna start going nuts and they're gonna vote for Rick Caruso next time because they wanna get. That's all Trump says, is we're gonna pull back the regulations. We're gonna free people up. They're gonna find out, they're gonna get bit by their own snake. They're gonna convert. I am telling you, these are the bluest people on the planet and they're gonna be fucking rip shit pissed when the city and the Coastal Commission tell them to fuck off. And by the way, I don't think the Coastal Commission is going to okay anyone rebuilding any of their houses on the coast because they say they're in the business of protecting the coast. They're in the business of getting you to leave. They will get their wish, which is no buildings. And they're going to make it hard for everyone. And then we're going to have to restructure the whole thing because we can't have nine angry lesbians controlling everything that goes on in Malibu. The Palisades and Santa Monica. Okay. All right, I'm going to take a quick break. Be right back after this. Well, you want to start a business, your own business, a small business, and grow it this year? Let's do this. And now's the best time to start. Shopify is going to help you. I started a business and I use Shopify and I'm glad I did. Shopify makes it simple to create your brand, open for business and get your first sale, get your store up and running. It's easy. And they've got thousands of customizable templates that can help you with all the details like shipping, taxes, payments from one single dashboard, allowing you to focus on the important stuff like growing your business because you want to be freed up to grow your business, not burdened with the nickel and dime stuff. Let Shopify help you with that. 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Adam Carolla (35:36)

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Adam Carolla (35:49)

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Adam Carolla (35:56)

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Adam Carolla (36:29)

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Adam Carolla (37:07)

In.

Adam Carolla (37:07)

The spirit of Murrow. Jennings Cronkite. Here's another great moment in local news.

Steve Gutenberg (37:17)

Here on Palisades Drive. If anybody has a car and they leave their car, leave the keys in the car so that we can move your car so that these fire trucks can get up Palisades Drive. What's happening is people take their keys with them as if they're in A parking lot. This is not a parking lot. We really need people to move their cars. So if you leave your car in Palisades Drive, leave the key in there so a guy like me can move your car and get them up there so that. So that these fire trucks can get up there. It's really, really important.

Adam Carolla (37:48)

Thank you. Thank you for talking to us live. Sir, what's your name?

Steve Gutenberg (37:50)

My name is Steve Gutenberg.

Adam Carolla (37:52)

That's a great moment in local news. Now back to the Adam Carolla show.

Adam Carolla (38:00)

All right, so again, if you're just joining us, although I don't know how you just join a podcast, I think you're pretty much in or out. But if you're just joining us, I'm in a hotel room in Burbank. My home in Malibu is either there or it's not there. And the reason I will say that is, so far, I've seen film of PCH underneath my home, which is completely devastated. So that doesn't give me a lot of hope. Then I saw film the other side of my street, which seemed to be somewhat intact with a few burned places. And then I saw a picture of a store that's down toward the bottom my hill, which seems to be intact. So I don't know, is the. As the answer as. As I speak to you from. From my hotel room in Burbank, other thoughts. Now, keep in mind, where are these fires coming from? I've spoken to the firemen who are on PCH and a lot of firemen who work in LA county, and it's all homeless. It's guys that are high, camping in the hills, passed out on drugs, smoking a cigarette, whatever. I mean, there's two ways these fires start. It's homeless people homeless, remember? And it's power lines that fall over in windstorms because the infrastructure is decrepit. That's both on the city and that's both on the state. You have a homeless problem, you have a power infrastructure problem. You have both problems, and they both land in your lap because this is super fixable. The homeless is fixable. The power grid is fixable. And you've chosen to focus on the LGBT community and the bullet train to nowhere in Merced. So that's on you. Also, a vid that was making the rounds and maybe going viral even is me in front of Congress, I think, from a few years back, telling the story of when I attempted to sign up to be a fireman in LA county and was rejected because of the color of my skin, even though I was Porn destitute and played football and had a strong back, like I was ready to carry someone out of a fire. Then they started doing the rounds of the LA police chief who's a lady. And it's a first. She's a member of the LGBT community and she needs to be celebrated. Okay, I've been saying it. I've been saying it and I've been saying it. You can't run things this way. You can give people jobs based on their sexual proclivities and their skin color and their ethnicity. As long as the jobs aren't important. They can drive the shuttle at the airport, they can work at the Cinnabon at the airport, they can even do security. They can do almost anything at an airport. But as soon as you get out of the airport, and you need real competence, like the lady who is the head of the police, whatever. New Orleans looks like a white crazy Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son. Like, that woman doesn't look competent at anything. And if you notice that the more and more disasters we have and who's gonna take. Who's leading the press conference, it's a post menopausal chick who is LGBT friendly or whatever, and you're. Is this just a coincidence or do we keep putting these people in this position? And what do you expect? What are we looking for? You people are all sitting around, all you dickheads who live in the Palisades, who voted for Karen Bass and never stopped patting herself on the back. Because we go, we have the first African American female, as a right, she's in Africa collecting beads. And your fucking house is burning down. And you want to know what's going on. You don't know what's going on. You elect incompetent people. You pat yourself in the back, you look at his progress, and then we get fucked. So again, it could be a vice president, it could be the mayor of Los Angeles, it could be the deputy police inspector of New Orleans, it could be the fire chief of Los Angeles. These are pretty important jobs, pretty highfalutin jobs. And I would not care if every single one of them was manned by a black lesbian. I would not have any problem with that whatsoever. Just as long as none of that factored in to them getting the job. But if they got pushed up ahead of other people because of that, and. And that seems to be what's happening because you guys never stop celebrating that, then, no, I do not want that. And I know you're doing it because you celebrate it. You always go, oh, she's the first. What's that have to do with fire safety? What the fuck does being a lesbian have to do with fire safety? I would argue they know less about fire safety because their hair is so short. Heterosexual women who have real long hair, they gotta blow out candles. They got to light candles. You know, they got a. They got a Kindle. They. They. They have the. They have to light the Sterno can when they're having the party. And they got the chafing dish outside. Long hair bitches. They know fire safety. All right, anyway, so I will continue on. I'm just looking down on some notes. I talked to Dr. Drew. Half this fire was in Pasadena and Altadena. Altadena. Altadena is like a slightly poorer version of Pasadena. It's a little more sort of just real working class kind of. I mean, working class where the houses are $1.4 million apiece, but working working class. So my dad lived in Altadena and recently just sold his house. So I don't even. He was, like, in the foothills. So I honestly don't know if his house or his ex house is still there. As a matter of fact, I think that it was closing today. So I don't know if it's closing and on fire at the same time. I don't know, but it sounds pretty poetic to me. Drew is in Pasadena, but he's in a nicer, plusher part of Pasadena. I talked to him. His house is safe. Says there's a lot of smoke, streets blocked off, lots of trees down as well. So it is literally just been a shitstorm here. The fire in the Palisades seems to be 0% contained as I speak to you. And the wind is such that it just runs amok, and it goes in every direction, and they can't contain it at all. But as we were talking about in Yesterday's show, it's 2025. There shouldn't be a fire every time it gets windy. There was a fire, and we were evacuated three and a half weeks ago. It was not a month. It was another fire because it got windy. I just. I feel like in a place where you pay the most taxes anywhere, you shouldn't think, well, the wind's gusty, and now we're all going to burn. We're living in modern times. So now the problem with all this stuff is it's sort of part and parcel of the sanctuary city. Like, okay, this is who we say we are. No, no. It's time for the adults to get back in charge. And I Hope these people of Malibu, Palisades, Santa Monica are gonna understand that. It's great. All the platitudes are great. We got the first this and the first that representation and all that. It's all great. It's all great until the fucking fire starts. Until the guy gets in the pickup truck and tries to drive it through Bourbon street, until people start running amok on the subway and lighting people on fire and pushing them on track. It's all great during good times. But we don't have fire chiefs for good times. We have fire chiefs for fires, and that's when we need them to spring into action. All right, let's see. I wrote down. Thank God. We got. I turned on the tv. I saw Gavin Newsom and Biden have come together. So we're good now. We're out of the woods. I don't even know if Biden knows where he is. I think he thinks he's in New Orleans talking to victims. I am out. I'm gonna go to Vegas from here and do some shows over at, over at Kimmel's place. I do also want to say another thing now. So what's gonna happen is now all the politicians like Gavin Newsom are gonna start in on the climate change and the global warming and all the other shit. Now, it would have been nice if the seas had risen enough to put out all the fucking fires of all the houses because you wouldn't maintain and manage to brush in the forest or the water pressure or anything else, but that would have been great. That didn't happen. He's gonna start in on climate change. Okay, here's what I have to say about it. And I'm going to try to be philosophical about it. I will grant you this, Gavin Newsom. I will. Let's just go hypothetically. 100% of these fires are caused by climate change. 100%. That's the whole reason why we're dealing with this. 100%. Okay, what are we going to do about it? Okay, that's the problem. But now what's the plan? You want to get the guy in Santa Monica to drive a Nissan Leaf instead of a Ford Explorer, that's fine. But China's building another coal powered plant. They just finished one today and they're starting one tomorrow. And we can't get the rest of the world. China and India, the places with the biggest populace, they're not going along with this. You got the guy in Santa Monica's attention, but he doesn't control global warming. He can't really Control the sea. So you want to switch over to electric leaf blowers, but I don't think that's going to be an immediate fix for a fire every 20 minutes. I say with the electric leaf blower, even if you included lawnmowers and edgers, it would still take several years before this problem was fixed. So now, again, it's all caused by global warming. Fine, have it your way. Many experts would disagree, but fine, we'll have it your way. What the fuck are we going to do? Because there's been two fires in three weeks, what shall we look forward to? Just fires in perpetuity? Well, the answer is us and technology. New Orleans was devastated by Katrina because they're below sea level, but they have sea walls. But the sea walls fell into disrepair and didn't work and they were overtaken. So then the Army Corps of Engineers came in and built sea walls. And now New Orleans, who's below sea level, does not have another Katrina like situation. So now that's your job. That's what you do. You go, well, we have a global warming city. Yeah. Yeah. So then thin the brush, thin the forest, get the water pressure up, start working on ways to combat it, which is basically the same as building a seawall. Like, okay, the oceans have risen and now the people of New Orleans. Yeah, build a wall. People live in Arizona now. People live in Phoenix in the month of July because someone invented air conditioning. And now we're comfortable. You can do things. We can fix these things. Or you can keep blaming global warming or climate change deniers and then institute more completely meaningless legislation about electric cars, electric leaf blowers or not, you know, having water heaters or having cows, getting cows to stop farting or whatever the fuck you're talking about that does. You've been talking about it for 20 years. It's done nothing. So now it's time for some boots on the ground shit. Some shit that works. Figure it out, because that's the only way this is gonna work. All right, let's see. What else do I have to complain about? I think that's about it. Send you guys a tweet or two. We'll put some of these vids up and some of these pictures up. I'll keep you guys up to date on what's going on, because it's still, at this point, it's probably a coin toss as to whether my condo is there or not. I would probably take that coin toss. I would do it now if you said you want to do it. It's probably 50 50. But I would toss that coin. So I don't exactly know. And it is weird. The information comes out in dribs and drabs, but it doesn't really let you know exactly what's going on with your dwelling. So, again, sorry for the rush job. We had a little very different situation here with fleeing and everything. But I'll send out some tweets and keep you guys updated. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla saying mahalo.

Adam Carolla (52:36)

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