Larry Miller + Ivan Reitman (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Summary of The Adam Carolla Show Episode: "Larry Miller + Ivan Reitman (Carolla Classics)"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Adam Carolla Show
• Host/Producer: PodcastOne / Carolla Digital
• Description: The #1 Daily Downloaded Podcast in the World, featuring unfiltered humor, sharp insights, candid takes on pop culture and everyday life, in-depth interviews, and signature rants. Guests range from Hollywood icons to cultural commentators.
• Episode: Larry Miller + Ivan Reitman (Carolla Classics)
• Release Date: March 30, 2025

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1. Broadway Insights and Personal Anecdotes (00:00 - 09:35)

The episode kicks off with host Adam Carolla and guest David Alan Grier revisiting moments from the old radio show. They reminisce about attending the Broadway play "Race," discussing the diverse audience and the dynamics backstage at Bar Centrale.

Key Discussions:

• Experiences at "Race":

  • David Alan Grier shares his excitement about watching the play, highlighting the strong performance of actor Dag and the unexpectedly diverse audience.
  • Adam humorously notes, “[...] once you hear people say somebody just jumped out of the building, [...] [it] made me feel good.”

• Interactions and Dynamics:

  • The conversation touches on the camaraderie and occasional tensions among friends and colleagues, especially concerning Teresa’s absence and Brian’s relationship status.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla (02:11): "Because of Brian and Theresa?"
• David Alan Grier (03:17): "Are we talking about oral sex or a play?"

2. Book Blurbs and Celebrity Endorsements (09:36 - 17:03)

Adam delves into the process of receiving blurbs for his book, sharing interactions with notable personalities like Ken Burns, Alec Baldwin, and Seth MacFarlane. The segment underscores the challenges and humorous exchanges involved in securing meaningful endorsements.

Key Discussions:

• Blurbing Process:

  • Adam expresses gratitude for thoughtful blurbs, contrasting them with more superficial ones. He recounts writing back to Alec Baldwin, only to receive a skeptical response.

• Friendship Nuances:

  • The exchange between Adam and David highlights the casual yet impactful nature of their friendships, emphasizing mutual support and candid feedback.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla (10:11): "Jimmy's was great and everyone was great, but they were just short."
• David Alan Grier (11:56): "Read your book."

3. Parenting, Travel, and Family Dynamics (17:04 - 35:43)

The conversation shifts to personal lives, focusing on Adam's experiences as a traveling parent. David Alan Grier shares heartfelt stories about his daughter, illustrating the emotional complexities of parenting while maintaining professional responsibilities.

Key Discussions:

• Balancing Parenthood and Career:

  • Adam reflects on how frequent travel has altered his relationship with his children, likening it to managing a wasp nest—present but not intrusive.

• Child Development Stories:

  • David shares touching anecdotes, such as his daughter expressing missing him and navigating playground interactions, highlighting the deep emotional bonds and challenges faced by working parents.

• Discussions on Relationships:

  • The dialogue touches upon dating post-marriage, with David humorously navigating conversations about his single status and relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• David Alan Grier (35:43): "I have my daughter. I have to raise her first, you know?"
• Adam Carolla (31:05): "Yeah, yeah, he's super cool."

4. Road Trip Game with Larry Miller (35:44 - 53:27)

Comedian Larry Miller joins the show for a segment called the "Road Trip Game," where participants discuss hypothetical scenarios during a cross-country drive. The interaction is filled with humor, playful banter, and sharp wit, characteristic of Miller's comedic style.

Key Discussions:

• Hypothetical Scenarios:

  • Adam presents humorous dilemmas, such as choosing between an always-high driver and a foreskin restoration enthusiast, with Larry offering his comical preferences.

• Comedic Chemistry:

  • The dynamic between Adam and Larry showcases their ability to riff off each other, leading to spontaneous and entertaining exchanges that highlight their comedic timing.

• Commercial Insert Breaks:

  • The segment is interspersed with playful promotions and humorous takes on advertisements, maintaining an engaging and light-hearted tone.

Notable Quotes:

• Larry Miller (40:33): "No, no. Two weeks after it closed, after being there for nine months..."
• Adam Carolla (40:22): "That's the key. And the road trip is you are a parent..."

5. Commercials Review and Satirical Commentary (53:28 - 88:06)

The show transitions into a critical analysis of various commercials, blending satire with genuine critique. Adam and guests dissect advertisements from brands like Monday.com, Met Gala, Nike, Pizza Hut, and Toyota, examining their messaging, effectiveness, and cultural implications.

Key Discussions:

• Effectiveness of Ad Campaigns:

  • The guests evaluate the creative direction and messaging strategies of different commercials, discussing what works and what falls flat.

• Satirical Takes on Marketing:

  • Adam employs humor to mock the convoluted narratives in ads, such as the McDonald's Egg McMuffin commercial and Nike's "Dream Crazy," pointing out inconsistencies and exaggerated claims.

• Cultural and Social Messaging:

  • The conversation delves into how commercials attempt to address social issues like diversity and inclusion, often resulting in mixed receptions and unintended messages.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla (83:20): "You have to trust them."
• Christy Bishop (137:53): "It's a total legal department's nightmare..."

6. Personal Stories, Relationships, and Comedic Observations (88:07 - 124:59)

This extensive segment features a rich tapestry of personal anecdotes, relationship dynamics, and comedic reflections. Guests discuss topics ranging from sleep routines and traveling with pets to the intricacies of being a comedian navigating personal relationships.

Key Discussions:

• Sleep and Travel:

  • The importance of sleep for personal well-being and professional performance is emphasized, with discussions about creating nap rooms and utilizing sleep pods for relaxation during travel.

• Traveling with Pets:

  • Conversations around bringing dogs to work or while traveling highlight the challenges and humorous mishaps that can occur, underscored by guests' personal experiences.

• Relationship Dynamics:

  • Ali Wong shares insights into her marriage, blending humor with sincerity as she discusses balancing comedy, motherhood, and relationship expectations.

• Comedic Craft and Creativity:

  • The guests reflect on the creative processes behind comedy and advertising, debating the merits of collaborative versus individual creative efforts.

Notable Quotes:

• Ali Wong (92:52): "It's a lot of the... like, you're saying..."
• Adam Carolla (122:54): "How big of a deal do you think it is for people to take their dogs to work with them?"

7. Final Commercials and Closing Remarks (125:00 - End)

The episode concludes with final commercial segments and closing banter. Guests continue to provide humorous takes on commercials and share light-hearted stories from their professional lives.

Key Discussions:

• Endorsements and Sponsorships:

  • The discussion about TrueCar and other brands reflects ongoing critiques of advertising strategies and their alignment with consumer expectations.

• Humorous Reflections:

  • Adam and guests engage in playful mockery of various commercials, blending personal opinions with broader commentary on marketing trends.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla (133:30): "How big of a deal do you think it is for people to take their dogs to work with them?"
• Chiosty Bishop (137:53): "It's a total legal department's nightmare..."

Conclusion:

This episode of "The Adam Carolla Show" skillfully blends humor, personal anecdotes, and sharp critiques of advertising and cultural trends. Through engaging conversations with comedian Larry Miller and references to industry figures like Ivan Reitman and celebrities, the show offers listeners a deep dive into the intersections of comedy, personal life, and media. Notable moments include heartfelt parenting stories, satirical takes on commercials, and the dynamic interplay between Adams and his guests, ensuring an entertaining and thought-provoking listening experience for both longtime fans and newcomers.

Highlighted Quotes with Timestamps:

• Adam Carolla (02:11): "Because of Brian and Theresa?"
• David Alan Grier (03:17): "Are we talking about oral sex or a play?"
• Adam Carolla (10:11): "Jimmy's was great and everyone was great, but they were just short."
• David Alan Grier (35:43): "I have my daughter. I have to raise her first, you know?"
• Larry Miller (40:33): "No, no. Two weeks after it closed, after being there for nine months..."
• Adam Carolla (83:20): "You have to trust them."
• Ali Wong (92:52): "It's a lot of the... like, you're saying..."
• Adam Carolla (133:30): "How big of a deal do you think it is for people to take their dogs to work with them?"

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the key points, discussions, insights, and humorous exchanges from the episode, enriched with notable quotes and structured sections for clarity and engagement.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Work management platforms. Ugh. Endless onboarding. IT bottlenecks admin requests. But what if things were different? Monday.com is different. No lengthy onboarding, beautiful reports in minutes, custom workflows you can build on your own, easy to use prompt, free AI. Huh. Turns out you can love a work management platform. Monday.com, the first work platform you'll love to use. Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Corolla show. We have a companion podcast titled Coral.

[Brian Bishop]

Classics available through Podcast one Premium, as.

[Adam Carolla]

Well as Adam Carolla's substack for the ad free archives. Adamcarolla.substack.com, you can get the ad free archives for this show, the Adam Carolla show, the Adam Dr. Drew show, and the exclusive home of Adam's brand new podcast, Beat It Out. If you'd like to request a clip, Please email us classicsdamcola.com let's get to the clips coming first we have Adam Cole Show 405, Part 2. David Al Greer in studio. Larry Miller, Teresa Strasser, Brian Bishop. This is from 2010. Come on, have a seat. Dad, we're doing the show, baby.

[David Alan Grier]

That's not the show I came to do.

[Adam Carolla]

We're doing the old radio show, buddy.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, remember when he used to snore during the news?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's right. It'll be like that again. You're sitting on your cord there.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, usually it's just me and you talking.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it'll just be me and you talking and then once in a while you making Teresa cry.

[David Alan Grier]

I thought, Teresa, you had all your jobs. Remember? You told me how you're busy after the show. You said you left the radio show because I'm busy. I got other things to do.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's. Yeah, it's just she'll. You'll never know she was here.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Pretend I'm not here.

[Adam Carolla]

Just pretend she's not here.

[David Alan Grier]

Jesus Christ. I can't do this show anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

Because of Brian and Theresa?

[David Alan Grier]

No, because you lit. This is no place to do a radio show. It took me an hour to get here.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Yes. Would you drive from.

[David Alan Grier]

I drove from a place called Hollywood.

[Adam Carolla]

Have you heard of it?

[David Alan Grier]

It's 500 miles away.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, come on, dad.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Congratulations on.

[David Alan Grier]

Don't talk to me. You're not here.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Tony knows.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't want to talk to her.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I just want to congratulate.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw this show race My friend saw it. He got me one ticket. I thought he was kidding. I had to buy because I was.

[David Alan Grier]

Playing the Angry black Man. I was so happy. Sit down.

[Adam Carolla]

I had to buy John Bynes, our other friend, $135 ticket.

[David Alan Grier]

I don't think I even got you one ticket.

[Adam Carolla]

You got me one.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, perhaps I got you.

[Adam Carolla]

You got me one ticket. And we saw. Did I tell you my race Based story on race? When I was watching Race and you and Race.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Race, the name of the play that Dag was in on Broadway.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[David Alan Grier]

Did you come and see it?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I would have loved to.

[David Alan Grier]

Did you come and see it?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I had a baby.

[David Alan Grier]

Did you come and see it?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I would have loved.

[Adam Carolla]

Not.

[David Alan Grier]

Are we talking about oral sex or a play? I would have loved to.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Baby, I'm busy.

[David Alan Grier]

I'm holding my headphones around.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Adam said you were amazing. Do you know David Mamet?

[Adam Carolla]

Are you guys BFFs?

[David Alan Grier]

Yeah, because he directed the play.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

What's he like?

[David Alan Grier]

He's a teddy bear. He's wonderful. It was the best experience of my life. But you wouldn't know anything about him.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyways, we went to a little speakeasy afterward, which is like a cool little. What would you call that place?

[David Alan Grier]

I'd call it where artists, very hip, homosexuals, jazz musicians hang out, Negroes and liberal Jews, all of us hanging out.

[Adam Carolla]

We often intermingle, but no signage in front of the place. And a weird little secret knock almost, it was called.

[David Alan Grier]

We went to Bar Centrale.

[Adam Carolla]

But the whole thing, I thought, was a lot of the guys who are on Broadway and doing the shows want to go hang out after the show. And, you know, you want to have a cocktail after a show and it's midnight and all that sort of stuff, but you don't want to go into the Carnegie Deli and have a bunch of tourists screw with you.

[David Alan Grier]

That happened. I mean, when I first got there, I went to a restaurant, and then there was a chick there just came to see the plate, which is fine, you know, I'm a gracious person, I think. And she was there with her family, and then her daughters came over and they were all like. You mean by that line, when you're, like, looking at that guy and you, did you like him? Because I thought you didn't like him. And I told you, Mom, I told you, right? That's him. Why did you.

[Adam Carolla]

What did you say to the judge.

[David Alan Grier]

On Dance with the Tail?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was. There's a couple. There was a couple things that happened and Dag. This. This could get controversial.

[David Alan Grier]

What happened?

[Adam Carolla]

But I just want you to be prepared.

[David Alan Grier]

What happened?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, now, there was a large African American community out in the audience of the show. Race.

[David Alan Grier]

Yes, yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Higher. Much higher than your normal Broadway.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, you're saying much higher than. Promises. Promises.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, it attracted a much more diverse crowd than, say, Wicked.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, now, did you come so you wouldn't know anyway? Well, no, I've had it.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I didn't receive an invitation.

[David Alan Grier]

Excuse me. You know what 2010 is for me, Theresa. It's no more bullshit.

[Adam Carolla]

Now stop it.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I thought you were gonna say it.

[David Alan Grier]

We went out on one date. You're marri.

[Adam Carolla]

Married.

[David Alan Grier]

You're married now.

[Adam Carolla]

You were. Let it go.

[David Alan Grier]

I'm not. No. I'm very happy, though.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you happy now?

[David Alan Grier]

Yes, I'm very happy.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you single? Dang.

[David Alan Grier]

I got in trouble.

[Adam Carolla]

What happened?

[David Alan Grier]

I am dating.

[Adam Carolla]

You're dating. Good, because nobody wants to hear. No one who's dating you wants to hear you're single. I was told that and it happens quite a bit.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, I was told that a couple days ago and quite a heated conversation.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Oh, how long has this been?

[David Alan Grier]

Let's just say I'm dating and I'm. Said it publicly.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. And you said it. You said it somewhere else on another program that you were singing.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, Mark, I mean, why. I told him K Rock, which is the greatest, you know, radio show ever.

[Adam Carolla]

I.

[David Alan Grier]

You know, the guys there, it's just so much fun when you go in there. It's like there is happy.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like a party. Yeah, yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

You know, and I think that's the way those guys really are all the time. They're laughing and, you know, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Stupid shit.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, no, it was really fun. It was.

[Adam Carolla]

That's funny. But you say. But then they ask you if you're single, and you say, yeah, I did.

[David Alan Grier]

I did.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. That's what happens.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And then your girlfriend was listening.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, let's just say the person. I.

[Adam Carolla]

It's kind of like when. When a cop interrogates you and he goes, listen, I've been so mad at my old lady, I felt like strangling her too. Right? There's no big thing to put your hands.

[David Alan Grier]

What happened?

[Adam Carolla]

Was talking about. I was like.

[David Alan Grier]

I went back to like, high school. Like, when I said single, I mean, I'm single now. See, you're not with me. I'm single. I'm alone. Okay. But not. Not metaphorically, not metaphysically. I mean, you know, we together in my mind, my space. But not physically. Not here. Now I'm single. I'm like, I'm single, but I don't want to be that way.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That didn't work.

[David Alan Grier]

No, it didn't.

[Adam Carolla]

Didn't work.

[David Alan Grier]

Even with the dialect, the ebonic style.

[Adam Carolla]

You got a new. It's a new galaxy.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Did you meet her in New York or here?

[David Alan Grier]

Let's just say I'm dating. Moving on.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Kerry Washington.

[David Alan Grier]

Oh, no, Kerry's great. Carrie's great. Carrie's busy.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I met her. Did I meet her after the show?

[David Alan Grier]

She's beautiful.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

She's beautiful.

[David Alan Grier]

Very good friend. James Spader was great. I mean, it's. You know, it's. I hate to say it. It was. We all loved each other. We got along really well, and it was a great experience. It really was.

[Adam Carolla]

Seeing Dag on stage doing serious work. I mean, big time acting chops. I've always been the one who's talked about just how good you are and just how, you know, how multi talented you are. But when you see race, it's really. It's really unbelievable.

[Brian Bishop]

Back to your controversial.

[David Alan Grier]

Hold on, hold on, mister. Bringing it back to the point there.

[Adam Carolla]

What were you saying about the just how powerful a presence Dag has?

[David Alan Grier]

Well, you know what I like about Adam is because he's a friend. We are actually friends. When you said, hey, I think I'll go see Dave in a play, did you just. You looked it up and said, whoa, my friend's still in the play.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

The play's still on, and Klondike's gonna fly me out there for some interviews.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, no, that doesn't matter. That doesn't matter. I happen to be in. That's what happens.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

My friend's gonna ask to see Dax play.

[David Alan Grier]

Exactly. But they went.

[Adam Carolla]

I asked John Bynes to see that play.

[David Alan Grier]

As opposed to not knowing I was.

[Adam Carolla]

Gonna have to pay for his fucking ticket.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

As opposed to see the play. This was the other controversy.

[David Alan Grier]

No, no. Two weeks after it closed, after being there for nine months, Dr. Drew sends me. I don't even think it was an email. It was a tweet or twit where he goes, hey, buddy. And with the whole crew, love to see in the little musical thing, he's still up on the boards. I was like, no, you dick.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[David Alan Grier]

And I responded like guys do. But Dr. Drew Having a vagina was.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, so a tone can be lost online, right? Yeah, but that's how guys talk to each other.

[David Alan Grier]

And he goes, wow, I really screwed up. And I go, yeah, I guess you really did Screw up like you have most of our friendship. Don't be a player hater. But I was like, talking shit that. I mean, that's what guys do. I mean, Adam, am I right or wrong?

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, you are, but I just had a thought that I did not share with everyone here, which is. Oh, boy.

[David Alan Grier]

Should I take the pillow off my lap There.

[Adam Carolla]

I wrote, you know, I was getting blurbs for my book and I had. Jimmy gave me one and Bill Simmons gave me one and Ken Burns gave me one.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Oh, he did?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And Alec Baldwin gave me one.

[David Alan Grier]

What was Alec Baldwin's?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I can see if I can find it for you.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I cannot believe that lineup of blurb.

[Adam Carolla]

That's insane. You know, Ken Burns and Alec Baldwin for very long and involved. Oh, and Seth MacFarlane as well.

[David Alan Grier]

Oh, but listen, before we. I know what you're getting to. Yes, I'll do it. I'll give you the blurb.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Come on. Okay. Yeah. Off the table. Sony, off the table. Sorry, been locked off. But what.

[David Alan Grier]

Excuse me.

[Adam Carolla]

I said so. So Baldwin. Baldwin did what Baldwin does. Like, Baldwin never disappoints. Like, he doesn't mail anything.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Read your book.

[Adam Carolla]

He.

[David Alan Grier]

He doesn't.

[Adam Carolla]

He did everything he had to do. And it was, you know, it wasn't a blurb. Like, it wasn't, you know, Jimmy's was great and everyone was great, but they were just short. Andrew a funny guy, blah, blah, blah. This was in Ken Burns same, long and well thought out, well crafted. Wow. And so I say Ken Burns is long winded. Yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

You said he actually did a film.

[Adam Carolla]

Short while a guy played a pan flute behind it. I don't know how he worked that in. So I said, yeah. I said now more the one. Yeah, more than one. They play in the Civil War.

[David Alan Grier]

Banjo music always works. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So I said to. I wrote Baldwin back.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

And I wrote Baldwin back. And the thing back that I wrote him said, thanks for the great blurb. Appreciate you not just going for the quick joke, but taking your time and really writing something thoughtful. And I'll be in New York in November. I'd love to buy you a drink. And I got an email back from him 20 minutes later that said, you gotta be pulling my leg. Not long enough for you. Come on, get off it. Or something like, it was like, I think when I said, like, thanks for not being funny, like, or like, it's like, thanks for not telling me. I thought he thought I said, thanks for not being funny or entertaining. Like, yeah, he wrote something thought provoking. Interesting. You know, very bald.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You were being earnest.

[David Alan Grier]

You're taking Dr. Drew's side.

[Adam Carolla]

Taking his side.

[David Alan Grier]

You're taking his side. So now I just.

[Adam Carolla]

So I wrote. I wrote back.

[David Alan Grier]

So I'm gonna be attacked now? Am I gonna be attacked now?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

He was victim to the same thing.

[Adam Carolla]

He was victim.

[David Alan Grier]

You didn't see the play. I would not like you to talk right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I'm so sorry.

[David Alan Grier]

What do you want to tell me?

[Adam Carolla]

I.

[David Alan Grier]

Did you just.

[Adam Carolla]

There should be. There should be a tone thing.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, that's why sometimes, although I'm totally against exclamation points, I'm against them. But in email, sometimes you have to. For tone.

[Adam Carolla]

You said you couldn't use them for tweets. Yeah, but if you were really yelling at me. If I were yelling. Right.

[Christy Bishop]

No, sometimes good news is you're fine.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

A text message. I find myself sometimes doing XOXO or something at the bottom, which I would normally never, never do. But in case there's any doubt about the tone, you sometimes have to do a smile. The exo is that the guys don't have any.

[David Alan Grier]

Cooter butthole. Cooter butthole. Now, what I like to do is, if I were really yelling at you, it would be all caps, no spaces, like, shut up.

[Adam Carolla]

Stop talking to me right now.

[David Alan Grier]

Like, all together.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? I like that.

[David Alan Grier]

But I didn't do that with Dr. Drew. I was just, you know, pushing his buttons. But he was such a woman.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you understand that when we're walking through an airport in Iowa and some angry diesel dike passes him and goes, what gives you the right to dispense batch advice to young people? He, like, stops and says, like, oh, no, I'm so sorry. You. You misunderstood what I was. What I was saying. But now that's an abridged version of Alec Baldwin.

[David Alan Grier]

But you actually said when you guys were hiking, Dr. Drew got so upset, you could actually hear the tampon fall out of his.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I heard it shoot out. It shot. Yeah. All right, let's see. What does it say? Tia? I can't really say.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Okay, well, first of all, this is so I. This is an. This is an excerpt of what he wrote. Reading Adam Carolla is akin to having a horrible illness alone with your thoughts, you struggle with whether you want to even go on living. When you're done, you're a stronger, better person.

[Adam Carolla]

That's great.

[David Alan Grier]

Let me ask you something a little off the subject.

[Adam Carolla]

Excuse me.

[David Alan Grier]

Terry, Paul, Bryan, love seeing you. Larry's over there holding it down. How much I don't want to. You know, that's a personal question. How much they give you advance?

[Adam Carolla]

How much to write the book? Yeah. 350K.

[David Alan Grier]

You know what? You know what? I'm not even that famous. That's pretty much in the ballpark that I got for my book.

[Adam Carolla]

What? Yes. But you're not that famous.

[David Alan Grier]

No, I'm not, but they just threw the money at me. They threw the money at me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Terry, now you're affirmative.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I wrote a book this year, too.

[Gina Grad]

Did you?

[David Alan Grier]

What's your book about?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Thanks for asking.

[David Alan Grier]

What's your book about?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You're just gonna make fun of it.

[David Alan Grier]

I am not. I am.

[Adam Carolla]

I find you fascinating.

[David Alan Grier]

We did go out on one date, you know. We did. We did.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I thought 2010 was the year of letting it go. Oh, no, it's no more bullshit.

[David Alan Grier]

Did you touch again?

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[David Alan Grier]

Just tell me the brief synopsis. Act like this is, you know, the Huffington. Hey, tell me about Terry's book.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Terry's book.

[Adam Carolla]

Second word, honestly, would be funnier if.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You would let me get into it. Don't you think if you let me get 30 seconds in, it would have been more painful?

[Adam Carolla]

30 is gonna feel like a lifetime, but 11 seconds. Yeah, there we go.

[David Alan Grier]

Let's go.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll interview the book. First off, how does the process work? Do they approach you?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I'm not saying anything for a lot less.

[Adam Carolla]

And if this was your experience while pregnant, go ahead.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, I started a blog called Exploiting My Baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, right. I remember that one.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Where I wrote my innermost thoughts.

[Adam Carolla]

Huh?

[David Alan Grier]

My mouth is full of mucus. I can't go on.

[Adam Carolla]

I can do that. Yes.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Every day.

[David Alan Grier]

This is about your baby.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's about being pregnant. It's a humor book about pregnancy.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what?

[David Alan Grier]

That is an amazing idea. This is supportive. September. I've never heard of a concept about a woman writing about funny things that happen when you're knocked up. Good luck with that. It sounds hilarious.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You know, Jenny McCarthy has a similar book. Yes, and she was kind enough to blurb mine.

[David Alan Grier]

Is Ginny. Is Ginny still fucking Jim Carrey?

[Adam Carolla]

No, she's sapping.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, he. He cured her child of autism.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Oh, my gosh.

[David Alan Grier]

I knew it was with an A.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You just remind us, you know who was wrote me a really kind blurb. Dr. Drew.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? I'm.

[David Alan Grier]

I'm.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm here. And when you wrote him a thank you email, did he misinterpret it?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

No, I got him again. Well, first of all, I thought long and hard about what to get him which he hasn't received yet. So do you think he listens to this or will it really surprise?

[David Alan Grier]

Well, if his wife lets him.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I actually asked Brian, what do I get Dr. Drew. It's kind of a hard person to shop for.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And so I found him a Lord Jeff's jersey from Amherst. From Amherst.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That's their.

[David Alan Grier]

You didn't give him a frilly nightie.

[Adam Carolla]

That is very. Well, that's very well thought out.

[Larry Miller]

Yeah, that's one of the great. Yeah, that's one of the great comedy snores. I don't think I can do that. That is seriously such a deep sleep apnea snore. That was like that. But a guy who really snores like that has actually died. And then it was one of those sleep apnea things.

[David Alan Grier]

That is me.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me.

[David Alan Grier]

My new girlfriend. It goes like this when I'm sleeping.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

That'S what I mean.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like.

[Larry Miller]

It's like not okay.

[Adam Carolla]

It is. It is. It is the greatest comed tool ever. Because all you have to do is you ask me about my high school football playing days and then, dag, we'll see how it works.

[Larry Miller]

First of all, you played ball in high school.

[Adam Carolla]

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[David Alan Grier]

Get a Free Select EGO 56 volt.

[Adam Carolla]

Battery with purchase of a select trimmer, blower or mower kit. Plus, shop today for new and exclusive items unique for your lawn. So get ready for spring with the latest in innovation from Ego, the number one rated brand in cordless outdoor power. Only at Lowe's, we help you save. Offer valid through 4. 2. Selection varies by location while supplies last. All Central Central Valley League. That reminds me of a story when we're playing Grant. Oh, no, no, wait a minute. It was Milliken. And it was the third. It's the third quarter and you know you can't score unless you have the. You have the ball and we're playing the defense.

[David Alan Grier]

Put me to sleep.

[Adam Carolla]

Really, it is nothing funnier than that.

[Larry Miller]

By the way, this won't come up again, so I might as well tell you. The first time he and I met, he had me Laughing so hard that I was actually on the sidewalk crawling. It was on a movie. It was that Paul Hogan movie, Almost an Angel. And we started chatting at lunch and went from the lunch, outdoor lunch trailer and a guy, one of the crew members, nice guy. We did this bit on the show, on the old radio show that when.

[Adam Carolla]

Dear old work platform, it's not you, it's us. Actually, it is you. Endless onboarding, constant IT bottlenecks. We've had enough. We need a platform that just gets us. And to be honest, we've met someone new. They're called Monday.com and it was love at first. Onboarding. Their beautiful dashboards, their customizable workflows got us floating on a digital cloud. So no hard feelings, but we're moving on. Monday.com, the first work platform you'll love to use.

[Larry Miller]

White people sometimes talk or say, hi, brother, or something like that. And a guy did it, walking, excuse me, brother, walked behind his chair. He started riffing on white accents and various phrases. Pardon me, soul man, but he had. He had me going so hard. It was like a 40 minute one of those laughs. You remember. It was like a 40 minute laugh that I was pounding tables, I was pushing him. And that was the first time meeting. And I said, I don't know if I can do that every day.

[Adam Carolla]

Same as my favorite is like when, you know, Melissa Hasselbeck says, or Elizabeth, Elizabeth Hasselbeck says, okay, girl. Like when they have the black author, like when they start whipping out the girl all the time.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

This reminds me, I didn't get to it today, but I did it on my. I did it on my AM radio.

[David Alan Grier]

Now what is this AM radio I'll.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Get to in a second.

[David Alan Grier]

I haven't heard it since I was in seventh grade.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Have you heard of the website, what stuff white people like?

[David Alan Grier]

I have.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's completely brilliant. And this dating site, they took like half a million of their profiles and they looked for words that appear frequently in different races. White people. Van Halen, golf, Tom Clancy. And then I looked at that website, what stuff white people like? And I couldn't stop laughing. Ted, ideas worth spreading. Do you know what TED is? White people like it. Moleskin notebooks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

And what do black people like? Thugging Mo Licko.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I can't remember the word.

[David Alan Grier]

Obaka barama.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

For the black women, spiritual terms showed up more.

[David Alan Grier]

Yep, you're right. I'm blessed.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And for the Asian men, there was a lot of. I'm a simple person. For the Latin men, there was a lot Of I'm funny.

[David Alan Grier]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[David Alan Grier]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Funny like five DUIs funny or funny? Tell the joke.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Conan O'Brien is on the list of.

[David Alan Grier]

Stuff like funny, like amusing. Like he's. He's amusing to you? Like, funny, like he's a joke. Before I go, because I can't stay, guys, I just wanted to drop by like they do in the old Carson shows. Probably a little before your time. Yeah, I saw the greatest show last night. Have you seen these VMAs? That Chelsea Handler. Oh, my gosh.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

Really knocked one out of the park. I thought she was wonderful.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What's going on?

[David Alan Grier]

Why is it so silent?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm waiting. I'm waiting for her to be done. Oh, I gotta be honest.

[David Alan Grier]

I've known her for years. She was always really funny.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, whatever.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, no, I think what it is. But, Larry, you'll attest to this. Nothing breeds contempt in the comedy community like success. You know, people are happy when you get a pilot. They're not happy when you get, like, Seinfeld, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[David Alan Grier]

You know. Yeah, but comics, really, they don't like other comics.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

That's a good point. Maybe there's a lot of jealousy, but not of.

[Adam Carolla]

I guess.

[David Alan Grier]

I mean, I don't. Why is it that you don't like her?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think that she's unfunny, and I don't think she's a bad comedian.

[David Alan Grier]

I didn't see the show, by the way, at all.

[Adam Carolla]

And she's totally competent and she's fine. I just think that she has an act. And that act is I'm a hot blonde and I get drunk and do all shit that only fat chicks do.

[David Alan Grier]

She does, though.

[Adam Carolla]

And. And if it's all true, then. Then I'm wrong. But. All right, she does all that. Do you ever.

[David Alan Grier]

I would. You know, even if I did, I would say. I wouldn't divulge that. But we were friends. We're friends. I've known her a long time.

[Adam Carolla]

Since she did all that stuff.

[David Alan Grier]

No, well, I mean, she's. I. I think she's funny. I mean, I don't want to be all sunshine boys. That's what.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I understand.

[David Alan Grier]

That's not. You didn't put the setups wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. No, no. I like her mixing up.

[David Alan Grier]

I wish. I wish her well.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you see her? She said a couple things last night, which I thought.

[David Alan Grier]

I didn't see any of it. I didn't see any of it.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Two minutes for. For Adam to.

[David Alan Grier]

You know what his racial controversy I gotta go. The car is waiting. I think I can wait a little longer. I got a couple more minutes, but then I gotta get out of here because I'm catching a plane out of Burbank.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Well, you know, Adam can keep things tight.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, no, but anyways, before we go, I really want to say, as a friend, Adam, to see you in the audience, wincing at every uncomfortable scene.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of rape talk.

[David Alan Grier]

Yeah, yeah, it just was. It just warmed my heart.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[David Alan Grier]

Because there's so many people that say, oh, I'd like to drop by, and, you know. But you were actually there.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, Dad, I think a lot of you, man. Can I touch your hat, man? Fine, you can touch me. You all right? I mean, I'm cool. Just let me just say this. After the year you've been through, seeing you up on stage, I just made me feel good. You know, guys. Yeah, I know. It's like you're retiring from the NFL. This is good stuff.

[David Alan Grier]

Thanks for coming, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks, Tag. Appreciate it. All right. Sorry. Sorry, Terry. Okay.

[David Alan Grier]

All right, so let's. I just only got 15 more minutes, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You want to hear my racist stuff?

[David Alan Grier]

Oh, yeah, sure. Which one?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, this is. This is G29. Oh, okay. Yeah. If you look at my catalog, I was watching your show. Which Race and Rape is a prequel. The show started early, very early for Broadway shows. Was it a 7:00 Sunday night, 7:00 show? Tuesday, Tuesday, 7:00 early. And not only that, it was hard. Curtain up at 7:00. Like, I mean, it didn't start at 7:08. It was like seven.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Union stage managers.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Curtains. Curtain's parting at seven.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You know where it's going already?

[David Alan Grier]

Perhaps.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sitting in there and watching and I'm saying, there's a lot of brothers in this audience. And then I'm doing. But I'm doing the math. Like, I've been to a couple Broadway shows, not normally this colorful. I saw quite a large group of. A lot of diverse. When I say diverse, I mean scared white people and a bunch of Schwarzenegger, but that's diverse. That's diverse. And so Dag's up on stage and it's literally. I mean, it's a. It's a. It's a. It's a large theater, but it's intimate at the same time. What's that? What's it hold?

[David Alan Grier]

Kind of like my dick lies with intimate. That's what I heard.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Terry?

[David Alan Grier]

Right, Theresa?

[Adam Carolla]

And he.

[David Alan Grier]

Respect. I'm saying it with respect, right? Come on, let him hear, girl.

[Adam Carolla]

He's up against. He's literally standing as close to the audience as he can stand without falling off the edge of the right stage. And he's saying to his John Boy Walton, you got to think twice about perceptions and about preconceived notions involving race. And you've got to re examine what you thought you knew. And as he's saying that, a black couple who's running a little bit late, we get out of the way, they sit down next to us, and then Dag is going on about preconceived notions and stereotypes when another black couple comes and sits down in front of me. About eight black couples later, I started to become obsessed with the color of the people that were coming into the people of reddening. I'm not telling you your business, but when you're doing the early show on a Tuesday, hold that curtain till, you know, 7, 10, 7:15. It's ironic when you're giving the stereotype speech and a black couple's ass. We don't always say up late.

[David Alan Grier]

Okay? No, we don't all eat fried chicken. That's racist. All right, all right.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the great David Allen Greer D. It's not like.

[David Alan Grier]

I gotta go. Come on.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought you could stay for 10.

[David Alan Grier]

Well, I told my driver to just chill out. You know, this is more important. The plane is. It's a private plane, but I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you doing another play? What's. What do you guys want to divulge? Exactly what I'm doing.

[David Alan Grier]

No, I'm doing a movie. I'm doing an episode of Law and Order, which I've always wanted to do. I wanted to be like the criminal, you know, like one of those. Not the, you know, like on Law and Order. It's like. Like they had one dude who collected women's.

[Adam Carolla]

What was.

[David Alan Grier]

He collected their DNA samples and found out when they were menstruating. And then he would rape them. And to try. It was just like this psychotic, crazy sh.

[Adam Carolla]

That's kind of shit.

[David Alan Grier]

I want.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[David Alan Grier]

Yeah. But I mean, when they found him, they had. He had like this whole chart of, you know, Brooklyn Heights.

[Adam Carolla]

Saw that episode of alf. Ripped that right off.

[David Alan Grier]

I did alf.

[Adam Carolla]

And you weren't.

[David Alan Grier]

Yeah. You weren't allowed to say the M word. Muppet. I'm not getting more like. They briefed you. They said, look, we don't use that term here. It's going to upset a lot of people. So you have a good time and do some Good work.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Don't say, just stay.

[David Alan Grier]

Alf, what do you say?

[Gina Grad]

The P word.

[David Alan Grier]

Puppet.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Puppet.

[Adam Carolla]

It is weird how every business has their own version of that. When I was doing the man show, I toured a place that just made dildos and fake vaginas and stuff like that. It was ran by a guy named Marty, who was, like, a short Jewish guy who should have been doing an unfinished furniture place. Instead, it was just dildos and, you know, fake pussies. Except for he ran it with the same sort of temperament. And he was walking me through his line of, you know, what was new for 01. At a certain point, I picked up a string of anal beads, and I said, you know, Marty, the wife could use a new set of Benoit balls. And he did the got real serious. Okay, hold on. Stop, stop. Hold on. Start the camera producer got. Hold on. Cut. Can we cut? Hold on. No, we don't use Benoit. No anal bead. Okay? So. And if he says Benoit ball, it's like, I got very.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Did Benoit trademark it.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if he had some difficulty with the Benoit family back in the day or somebody.

[David Alan Grier]

It's makeup bar.

[Adam Carolla]

Something happened, and he wouldn't explain it. He just got deadly serious. And he does. He did the thing. It's always funny when the amateur does the cut. They're always looking at the wrong person.

[Ali Wong]

Cut.

[Adam Carolla]

Cut. You. They're looking at the sound guy. Cut.

[David Alan Grier]

Okay, you in charge in the parking.

[Adam Carolla]

Lot with the walkie. Yes. Cut. Yeah, you had craft service. So I'm sorry. No. Hold on. Cut. Yelling cut. Yes. So, yeah, they don't like Muppet on the set of Alf, and they don't like Benoit Ball over at the.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Can I add that I worked for a weight loss company, Herbalife. They sold pills. Only you were not allowed to say the word pill. I was a writer for their publications. And you had to say, you won the Emmy? No.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[David Alan Grier]

I just asked.

[Adam Carolla]

Lose weight.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Now ask me how. And by the way, you couldn't say pill, which I learned very quickly the first day someone pulled me aside. And what you really couldn't say Pyramid scheme. Multi level marketing.

[Adam Carolla]

Multi level marketing.

[David Alan Grier]

I dated a girl who. She loved anal sex, but you couldn't say anal sex. You had to say her other. That's my time.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm out. I love you, Indianapolis. I was gonna say thank you.

[David Alan Grier]

Yeah, yeah. But here, anyways. Adam, you came. You saw. We drank.

[Adam Carolla]

We embodied. Yeah. How are your.

[David Alan Grier]

How are your kids doing?

[Adam Carolla]

They're great. They're.

[David Alan Grier]

How old are they now?

[Adam Carolla]

They're a little bit over four. I'm not unclear how much, but they're over four. They're cuter and shit. And you know. You know, it's a weird thing now that I've been on the road now you have discovered this through going on the road and divorce. So maybe this is the next level of our friendship with the kids. But it's a weird thing. I used to be around the house constantly, and I was never away. And when you're never away, there's never a reunion. There's always like, they're perpetually upstairs, I'm perpetually downstairs. I'm not mean to them, but they're always around. I travel so much now, I've done either.

[Brian Bishop]

And butt.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah, we coexist peacefully.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, they're there and they're.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I mean, United States, they're Canada. Got no beef with them.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like a. It's like a, you know, it's like a wasp nest that you don't disturb that's under the eave of a part of the house you don't really go to that often, you know, live and let live. And that's the way it is. But now I find myself coming home on a Sunday after leaving on a Thursday. And there's that, you know, when Snoopy and Charlie Brown got together, you know, it's like, oh, so excited.

[David Alan Grier]

Daddy's home.

[Adam Carolla]

Daddy's here. He's coming. He's walking in a weird way. Way. It's kind of a good thing to split every couple of weeks for a couple days because you come back and you quickly, you know, I patted them on the head and then watched nine hours of football over at Kimmel's. But as I was patting them on the head, I thought, you know what? This is really. Usually pat them twice. I went for three times. This is either one. Yeah. Sorry. Dan, how's your daughter?

[David Alan Grier]

She's got to be, what, she's two and a half. She's a little over, too.

[Adam Carolla]

She's starting talking, doing things.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

What'd she say?

[David Alan Grier]

She told me it's just corny stuff. Like, we were. We were sitting on the bed and we were talking. I was trying to get her dressed, and she goes, I missed you. I really missed you. And I just was like, honey, what do you want? Daddy's gonna buy you the biggest castle.

[Adam Carolla]

You must be the greatest dad ever.

[David Alan Grier]

We hang out.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't spiritually, but she loves all the noise, all the voices. Yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

No, she says, I think you should talk nice. She doesn't like the. Too loud.

[Adam Carolla]

Does she have a. Have a sense of humor?

[David Alan Grier]

She does, but it's little kids, like Chinese. See, I don't know what she's laughing like.

[Adam Carolla]

The phone rings and she picks it up and goes, hello? Oh, yeah, hold on. Daddy, it's Jim Carrey. Not just fucking with you. Someone from the city.

[David Alan Grier]

She's not there. She's not there. But I took her to her friend's birthday party. So these were. Her friend was turning three and all the kids were around and they had the birthday cake out there and they were all like crackheads, you know, just like zoning on this birthday cake. And then one kid starts to do that little kid like the other kids, and they all were laughing and it was really weird. Like, you know, the parents were just. We were looking at them and they were just like a. A gaggle of geese, just.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

Cackling, but very. If they were in them, it was their own joke. I don't know what they were laughing at.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. Also, I know the kids go to a good school. You got to pick out a pre K or kinder, whatever.

[David Alan Grier]

Something wonderful. Staff at my daughter's.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I gotta. I got this one. I got this one for my wife.

[David Alan Grier]

A lot of young ladies, really, really, really doing a great job over there.

[Adam Carolla]

I got. You See, here's my thing. Either I pay for the school and do no volunteer work with the school, or I don't pay for the school and gladly help out with the bank.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's tiered.

[David Alan Grier]

Or you give money. You gotta give money.

[Adam Carolla]

You give.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Or you fundraise. Or you work there a few hours a week, or you pay the top tier.

[Adam Carolla]

I pay, and then I get this thing from my wife. Teachers want to know if there's a daddy wants to come around, do a little woodworking for the class. They had a daddy last. Woodworking. Yeah. And if you could come by and bring your tools and do a little woodworking and I'd be like, how about a couple hundred bucks an hour? You want me to give you a check every month and then come in and entertain the kids as well? Which. Which, yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

But you know what? Your daughter and your son would love that.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Yeah. They get to show off their daddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Let them walk down the garage and watch daddy play with wood.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Show off in front of the other kids.

[David Alan Grier]

Yeah, that's my father.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's my dad. That's the thing.

[David Alan Grier]

But I love the kids.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

I may knock somebody else up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You think of the new gal?

[David Alan Grier]

No, no, I Don't want to do that. I got one. I have my daughter. I have to raise her first, you know? But as it is now, I'm so old, someone asked me, they were like, oh, you know, when she gets old enough, you're gonna. You better get a shotgun, you know? Your daughter's a heartbreaker. Are you kidding me?

[Adam Carolla]

I get a lot of that, too. Boys are going. Wanting to rape your daughter.

[David Alan Grier]

Didn't hear that.

[Adam Carolla]

Shut up.

[David Alan Grier]

But I was like, I'll be so old, I won't even. They could be in front of me. Look at the young people hugging and kissing. Oh, this is wonderful.

[Adam Carolla]

You'll just be using your stroke cane. One of the tennis balls will come off the bottom of it. I did see the stroke cane with the four tennis balls. It's one thing when they put the tennis ball on the walker, but the stroke cane, that's four tennis balls within five inches of each other.

[David Alan Grier]

Who thought of that?

[Ali Wong]

That's.

[David Alan Grier]

That means that. That is.

[Adam Carolla]

MacGyver, I am telling you, if I would have known that tennis balls were going to be used for almost everything but playing tennis 20 years ago, I would have invested in Wilson. Like, I would say, take every fucking penny you have. Because not only are these things going to be used at every park, with every asshole at the tennis racket, they're going to be hanging from strings at the end of a garage. So you know how far to pull your car in. Every piece of medical equipment will have one. A boom. Whenever you see the jib on the set, you're doing a sitcom and there's a guy with, like, the jib and the camera up there. It's always got a tennis ball in the bottom of it to protect it hits you and that. I mean, I was on the lot.

[David Alan Grier]

I was on the Fox lot doing an episode of Bones. Amazing. Very special episode starring me. Anyways, going around the big, huge double banger trailer, there was a tennis ball that was split and shoved on that sharp edge so you don't bang your head.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying it is. It's like when people started toilet papering people's houses. The guys who made Charmin was. Went out of their mind. Like, this is the greatest windfall for us ever. It used to be three market. Three pieces. Literally, number two, three pieces at a time on your ass. Now whole rolls are being thrown over Dean Johnson's house. You know, like, I love his work. Dean Johnson. Yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

Terry, are you done with the. The babies? Are you gonna have another?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I'm not sure, really.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe you, too.

[David Alan Grier]

And how is your wife doing? How is.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sorry. Your husband?

[David Alan Grier]

I don't like that.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

What about. How about a play date?

[David Alan Grier]

I don't like.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

What do you think? Because we'll take our kids to the park, they can poke each other.

[David Alan Grier]

How old is your daughter?

[Adam Carolla]

Son.

[David Alan Grier]

Son. Sorry.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Wow.

[David Alan Grier]

How old is he?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

He'll be one on September 24th.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Play date.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Play date. You know what I've noticed at the park? Little girls especially, they love babies. Sometimes they come up to him, and they pick up his bottle and give it to him like he's a toy. Baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[David Alan Grier]

I love taking her to the park. I do love taking her to the park. But, I mean, I'm a soft, squishy dad. I mean, like, I was watching Lulu play, and so she went to this other girl, and she was like. You know, tried to hold her hand. The other girl's like, I don't want to hold your hand. I'm just. You know, leave me.

[Adam Carolla]

I had.

[David Alan Grier]

I had a hard day. I don't want to.

[Adam Carolla]

Ready for the slide?

[David Alan Grier]

I just need to. You know what? And so Lulu was, like, looking at her, and my heart. Heart was breaking.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

She was rejected. I was right there, and there's nothing you could do.

[David Alan Grier]

My heart was breaking, but I was like, don't freak out. Just let her, you know, live her own life. Daddy's. Don't get involved.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Isn't that a weird experience? Like, somebody else's rejection is now way more painful than your own.

[David Alan Grier]

Yes, it is. And I know this is just the beginning, but, you know, I try not to.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. That's why I don't want to invest too much in your kids. My parents.

[Gina Grad]

Smart.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Keep them at a distance.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Arm's length, no hugs. Mm.

[David Alan Grier]

Pitch yourself up off the floor. Toughen out, baby.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sorry, but we must do the road trip game with Larry Miller, seeing how it's sponsored by one of our sponsors now. Would you like to hang out for that?

[David Alan Grier]

I'm gonna go sit in Larry's chair.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[David Alan Grier]

I did not expect you to be here.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[David Alan Grier]

I really wasn't looking forward.

[Adam Carolla]

Told 51 minutes ago. You had 10 minutes. Well, hold on. Hold on.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I lured him into staying.

[David Alan Grier]

I just got a text from my manager, who informed my lawyer to call the producers to ask this gentleman to wait four and a half more minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[David Alan Grier]

All right. Where would you like.

[Adam Carolla]

This is. You can do it. We can do it. Right? Right? Larry from there and you from here. This is our hypothetical road trip. Game. I think we have an intro for.

[David Alan Grier]

This really big burrito.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the hypothetical road trip game.

[David Alan Grier]

The.

[Adam Carolla]

Game where there are no wrong answers brought to you by Jeremiah Weed. All right, here we go. Larry Miller.

[Larry Miller]

And by the way, the reason, since you may not know the game, there are no wrong answers. So whatever I think I can say, and it's just a matter of opinion, and no one feels they've won or lost.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the key. And the road trip is you are a parent. You are. You are going from the Santa Monica to the Epcot center in beautiful Florida. And this is the person you're driving with. Okay, number one. And again, no wrong answers here. Larry Mellon.

[Larry Miller]

That's the beautiful part of the game. Go ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

Guy who always seems to be high but doesn't smoke pot versus the foreskin restoration guy. The guy's on. He feels like he was. He says he refers to it as it was mangled. Mutated. Yeah. What, are they mutilated? They were mutilated. My penis was mutilated.

[Larry Miller]

First of all, I would never, never mind drive. I would always take the guy who just pretends to be high and has never smoked because he's just stupid and an idiot.

[Adam Carolla]

Steven Zahn kind of a guy.

[Larry Miller]

Yeah, he's. He's just annoying and dumb and I could listen to music or drink French Stewart type. Yeah, well, but the guy, the foreskin guy, is seriously, deeply out of his mind. He's not. Okay? He's. He's trying to fill a hole he can never fill. There's something deep and empty inside and he's actually doing bad things in the world because he's out of his mind and there's nothing wrong with anything and he feels mutilated. I don't even want to be in the same earth with him. Never mind the same car. So it always be the guy who says to get high.

[David Alan Grier]

I'm sorry, what?

[Adam Carolla]

It's incorrect. Well, because we just said there are no roads. At some point you're going to get tired. You're going to want to be the guy who always looks stoned to take over the driving duties while you catch a few Z's in the passenger seat. State trooper pulls him over, sees those squinty red eyes and hears the pot laugh. Pulls the guy out of the car. Next thing you know, you're one of his hash toting buddies and you're both in the Hooscal. Sorry, 0 for 1. Let's keep moving forward. I just said.

[Larry Miller]

I just said it's not wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

Who tells you, all right, never get vaccinated. The one doesn't want to have your kids get vaccinated because a long winded story, basically, she saw Jenny McCarthy on Oprah, on YouTube. Anything that involves YouTube and vaccination and all that versus the guy who insists you get a flu shot every year you have to get this flu shot.

[Larry Miller]

This is easy. Sometimes they're difficult, sometimes they get complicated, but this one is clear and clear as a bell. I would never, I would always go with the one, always drive with the woman who says that, by the way, don't ever get this vaccination. Or she, whatever article she reads. Like, my sister is always calling up saying, do you leave your coffee maker plugged in at night? And whatever she just read about, right? So just say it'll explode and kill everyone. And I would always do that because first of all, it would be a woman. Could be a pretty woman. Second of all, the other guy, though, is insufferable. The other guy cannot be dealt with even for seconds at a time. You have to get the flu shot every second. You know what, did you get your flu shot? Because I think he's another guy I think is out of his mind. I don't think he's as evil as the foreskin restoration guy, but the guy is crazy. So it's clearly the woman who always says get, who always has a problem with vaccinations, never the guy who says, always get the vaccinations.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you why. Because she's a victim of abuse, Larry. And at some point when you guys get out of the car at the Epcot center, she's going to tell somebody, he touched me inappropriately. And you're going to say, I was reaching for the Thomas guy. And then she's going to start crying and this flood of memories and tears and her dad. She'll find a way to be victimized and somehow, next thing you know, it's going to be splashed all over tmz. Larry Miller, rapist. You know what I mean? But believe me, she'll find a way for you to victimize her. She can't spend that kind of time in a car with an auto with a male going cross country without you physically trying something. And if you don't try something, she'll manufacture it, point the finger at you. You'll be Mike Tyson. You really are white Mike Tyson already. That's the way I've always thought of you. And you'll. Next thing you know, you're in the joint with Tyson. And Tupac.

[Larry Miller]

That's what it says on my cards. By the way, the white Mike Tyson.

[David Alan Grier]

Guys, before I. Before I get out of here, I'm doing a kind of a different thing with my plugs. I was just at the Brea Improv last weekend.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, she doing the places you were at?

[David Alan Grier]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I like that.

[David Alan Grier]

Friday and Saturday.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[David Alan Grier]

Went great.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry, guys. See us at the Moore Theater in Seattle. That we.

[David Alan Grier]

I played that theater. When you say we, who else is you bringing a band?

[Adam Carolla]

That's just me, but Donnie's working the computer.

[David Alan Grier]

Oh, cool. Now, can I ask something, Larry? Do you usually win more points? I mean, not that there's a winner comes in.

[Larry Miller]

I've just been boasting and saying no one loses.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Weeks though, since I think you gotten.

[David Alan Grier]

Can I tell you something, Terry? You're so banging hard, honey.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Thank you.

[David Alan Grier]

Did you get a couple stitches in the cooter?

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

I had a C section.

[David Alan Grier]

God bless you. She's still after my own heart. Addy. Isn't that what Gutenberg called you? Addie called him Addie.

[Adam Carolla]

Gutenberg called me Addie.

[David Alan Grier]

Larry, we kid like that. It doesn't mean anything. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna cover my face because I don't want to make you nervous. Larry. Next question. Adam, I'm not here. I had my time.

[Adam Carolla]

Your time? I'm going with a classic here. This is one we probably did a few years ago. All right, so this one, if you can think back to it, well, you already might know the answer.

[Larry Miller]

I can tell you right now that's not going to happen.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, thinking back, I mean.

[Larry Miller]

All right, it's like yard line markers. I have about two hours before this and about two hours after this. I'm pretty clear on. And there's a chain between them.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, here we go. Go ahead. The big melon headed guy with the really tight puka shells and the bad blonde bangs, he's the husky guy who's really figured out a way to make his head look even bigger. He already has a huge 10 gallon noggin as it was, but now he's put the puka shells around it and the choker. And it's kind of like what the guys in the NFL are doing with the armbands where they roll up the sweat bands put around their upper arms, look like pro wrestler, you know? And he's the guy who's basically being interviewed by John Stossel saying he knew the kids that killed the new student, but he wouldn't call them friends. And he has a bad Zit on his forehead. Okay, that guy. Yeah, that guy. Versus guy who laughs at his own joke so much so he can't get the joke out. You know, the guy starting to tell the joke and he says, if they do build a wall between California and Mexico, I tell you that the laborers are going to.

[Larry Miller]

All right, now to put those.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

You're gonna what?

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't hear that. I didn't hear the point. Right? That's the point.

[David Alan Grier]

Who's gonna build the wall?

[Adam Carolla]

Because they're all over here. That's your business, bro. I don't want to tell you how to tell it. You're the funny man. But you can use that. You can use it.

[David Alan Grier]

We've been.

[Adam Carolla]

Would you like to use it?

[Larry Miller]

By the way, that goes along with. We've all had this happen in the car. You get picked up at the airport or something, and the first thing I say is, I have a joke for you. Oh, no, don't. I'm begging you, please don't.

[David Alan Grier]

Yes, it's 6am I don't want.

[Larry Miller]

Yeah, gee, I just don't know. You can use this. I really. What? What do you tell a woman with two. Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't. I can't.

[Larry Miller]

Just don't. But this is easy. This one is deceptively easy. It sounds difficult, but it's not. Because first of all, I would never, ever be in the same space with the guy with the tight puka shells, ever. Never mind the boil, which is. Which is horrifying right off the bat, but I would never be because just the tightness of those shells would make me so nervous that they're actually going to garret him and.

[Adam Carolla]

Or that could explode and you could have a retina detached by flying puka shell.

[Larry Miller]

Yeah, exactly. By the way. And then explain that. How's he gonna explain that to the wife? Honey, I swear I was with the guy.

[Adam Carolla]

So.

[Larry Miller]

So? So he. I would never, ever, ever be with him.

[Adam Carolla]

And clearly. I'm sorry. What? That's wrong. How.

[Larry Miller]

Why could it be wrong again?

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I just said to a friend?

[Larry Miller]

I'm never wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't feel like I need to explain myself. When Alex Trebek asks a question in Jeopardy and he says, that's incorrect, and I go, yeah. Can I say. You got a better answer? Can I say something? Just move on to the next.

[David Alan Grier]

I know it's not my time. Sorry, Larry, I think you're being a little.

[Adam Carolla]

I wish he got him right. I wish. I pray my heart goes out. Nobody. I like when people like this one. Nobody roots for Larry Miller like me. There's no bigger fan of Larry.

[Larry Miller]

I pray you that pulling for me on this game, it just hasn't. It's been a spotty record, that's all.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm like a dentist that hopes I see no cavities during the checkup. But you've come down from the Ozarks and I'm, you know, what do you want me to do? I have to take care of my patients.

[David Alan Grier]

Keep going, keep going. You're like in one of those, you know those medical weekends that they have in the parking lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's right. We set up a tent. We've got a lot of doctors. A lot of doctors have got dui, are working off some of their community service in here. Oh, my God. You want to talk about a tough draw in the medical Chick come by. She's got her dog in a shopping cart and a carbuncle on her ass and, oh my, my God.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, maybe Dax should try one. Just see how hard it is.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you know what? Let's try it quickly.

[David Alan Grier]

Wait a minute. Let me just throw down the gauntlet right now. There's so many people that come in and horn in. Hey, look.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, do a quick one. You're gonna like this, mister.

[David Alan Grier]

I have my own show, you know. Hey, I'm witty. Let me snatch attention. Not here. All right, back to Larry.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what?

[David Alan Grier]

This is hilarious thing, right? But it's no more interrupting after this.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

Adam Gold Dag prefers to stay in the shadows.

[Adam Carolla]

I, I. Yeah, that's racist. It's definitely the L. Definitely the L train that Larry's been riding on. Can we just go to you very quickly? All right, quickly.

[David Alan Grier]

No, Larry, I'm gonna do a little different technique.

[Adam Carolla]

35 year old guy who's into anime or the 14 year old chick who's into the Twilight saga.

[David Alan Grier]

That is really. Can you, can you Repeat again, please?

[Adam Carolla]

35 year old guys in anime. Evelyn, anime. And the 14 year old who's a big Twilight fan.

[Larry Miller]

Remember, there are no wrong answers.

[David Alan Grier]

Excuse me, Larry. 35 year old guy in anime. 14 year old girl.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's like spelling bee.

[David Alan Grier]

14 year old what?

[Adam Carolla]

14 year old, 14 female. Into twilight.

[David Alan Grier]

14 year old twilight. 35 year old anime.

[Adam Carolla]

5 seconds, please.

[David Alan Grier]

Could you, could you use them in a sentence, please?

[Adam Carolla]

Spit it out. Spit it out. Answer.

[David Alan Grier]

I say no, I'm, I'm gonna have to say 35 year old guy who's into anime.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I just. That's right.

[David Alan Grier]

Oh, this is great. I was nervous.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. Cuz I didn't want to look at Larry because I know he's an expert.

[David Alan Grier]

And I was like going, I don't know where I'm going. And I wanted to make Teresa happy because, you know what I'm saying? Because like, you know, she still has feelings for me. But I didn't know. In my head, I didn't know. You know when you go in a dark room and you go, I can't see anything in here.

[Adam Carolla]

Awesome, Larry. I did that.

[Larry Miller]

Let me just say, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Right answers in here, that's.

[Larry Miller]

May I just say that I agree wholeheartedly.

[David Alan Grier]

It was hard, but it's just the 14 0. Because I'm thinking, you know, 14, 15 year olds, they're on a drug anyway. It's call puberty.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? You know what I'm saying?

[David Alan Grier]

She's going to be chattering, right? That's not going to be good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, he made it look easy. Yeah, he made it look easy. Well, there you go, Larry.

[David Alan Grier]

And again, give Larry one more question.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

It's nice to know it can be done.

[David Alan Grier]

Give Larry one more question because I think he's going to. He's going to. He's going to rally.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll be back next week.

[David Alan Grier]

Just like Nadal. Who's, who's winning the tennis match.

[Adam Carolla]

That's. That's the point. We'd like that, son. That goes. All right, let's talk about our good friends. As we're wrapping up our fantastic show, one of our fine sponsors go to meeting Adam. Yeah.

[David Alan Grier]

Is my mic on?

[Adam Carolla]

No. I mean, yes. Sorry. Yeah. I wish they had this for stand ups. Larry, don't you wish they had this for standups? You can host right from here. Meanwhile, you wouldn't have to leave your house. Just pour yourself a highball, let the comedy begin.

[Larry Miller]

You know what?

[Adam Carolla]

Not have to hop a plane out to Sacramento.

[Larry Miller]

Whatever I'm holding back in weight gain would go all out the window.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I see.

[Ali Wong]

I agree wholeheartedly.

[Gina Grad]

That's right.

[Larry Miller]

It would just be bathrobes and good burn.

[Adam Carolla]

No shaving like guys.

[David Alan Grier]

Hey, Seattle, I'm.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm performing yelling at your wife. Talk about coca. Hold on. Get out. Get out right now. All right. I want to thank Larry Miller for coming in here again. It's a lot of guts. A lot of guts to show up in here, a lot of wrong answers after week and take the kind of emotional, physical pounding that he takes. I. There's no way Lewis Black would put up with this and many other comedians as well. That's all I'm saying. So nice job.

[Dr. Drew Pinsky]

And by the way, Larry has his own show now on your network.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[David Alan Grier]

What is your network?

[Adam Carolla]

This Week with Larry Miller now on Ace. The Ace Network. The Ace Network you're building.

[David Alan Grier]

And he's building the whole thing.

[Larry Miller]

It's an empire.

[David Alan Grier]

Can I say something really quick, Larry?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think it's called Ace Network. By the way.

[David Alan Grier]

I remember going to see Larry with Robert Townsend in 1982 or three at the Tulsa Improv or some little comedy club, and he blew me away. I never. I was like, how is this guy standing on stage and just talking for 45 minutes? He was amazing. Wonderful. Been a big fan of herself, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

I just.

[Larry Miller]

I don't plug after the job. So I just do want to say that I'm going to be the 25th at the Torrance Cultural Arts center one night.

[David Alan Grier]

So you're saying. You mentioned that before you get there, but this is. I'm old school.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[David Alan Grier]

All right.

[Larry Miller]

Okay.

[David Alan Grier]

I never thought of that.

[Adam Carolla]

And also, I want to thank gag, of course. And Mitch and Sean and Kevin from Mitch. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[David Alan Grier]

Why are you putting me all in with Mitch and Frank and Tony?

[Adam Carolla]

They gave us a whole bunch of great food when we're in Portland. Yeah, they're a little local cuisine place and they're called Mitch Cass.

[Larry Miller]

Watch.

[Adam Carolla]

This stuff is unbelievable.

[David Alan Grier]

Hey, Adam, you want to come over and watch the game this weekend?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I can't. I promise friends I'd hang out with him.

[David Alan Grier]

Yeah, thanks a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Ball. Bryan. David Allen Greer, the great Larry Miller and Teresa Terry Straw almost called you Terry. What's her name? From Desperate Housewives Sing Mahalo. Sitting here doing a little extra content with the great Larry Miller. Larry, thanks for joining us, pal, as ever. Yeah, buddy. I don't know. You're traveling a lot. I'm traveling a lot. Just thinking about. I was on a flight on 911 thinking about 911 on 9 11. Forgetting, really. When I got back to the hotel in Portland, I think the History Channel just pretty much ran an uninterrupted literal. Just scroll, you know, it wasn't. Fast forward to the highlights of 9 11, so to speak. It was just as this thing unfolded moment by moment. Phone calls from the stewardesses who were inside the planes, or I should say the flight attendants who were on the plane plane saying they have control of the plane at this point. They think they're going to Beirut or something. They have no idea. But he's flying low. And it's like, boy, when you. When you get to the point where you're hearing people say, somebody just jumped out of the building, and you piece that together with the phone call that the guy's making to his wife from the back of the plane, saying, I don't know what's going on, but the plane feels out of control, you really just start getting. You just. A, you feel for all these people, and then, B, you just want to fucking put the smackdown on somebody.

[Larry Miller]

You know what? I still buy, by the way, My wife watched that whole thing. I was working that night, had a couple of shows, and I came back with the kids from one thing, and she was still into it. She really got into it, and she was just overwhelmed and crying again. And you know what? I can't. I agree. I can't let it go when I go to New York. And I won't, by the way, let it go. But, I mean, I go to New York, I always get. I just got another one. When they have the photographs of New York City, they always have an old one with the Twin Towers, Right? I always get that one.

[Adam Carolla]

It's weird when you see a movie just from the 80s and they have that thing sitting back there, and it always.

[Larry Miller]

Even if it's a comedy and I've just been laughing, if they have an establishing shot where they show the Twin Towers, it just rivets me. And that, by the way, that thing of the people jumping out may be the worst. The people who held hands, strangers who held hands. Because your choice is the explosive airline gas, airplane gas coming at you at the speed of light.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Larry Miller]

Or the flames are just really right at your back. Or jumping and that. And as the fireman described, those sounds of the bodies hitting the ground, that's just so deep. And I'm actually astonished that. Look, in another 300 years or so, we'll be a lot clearer on whatever's going on. But you know what? I'm stunned that that's not played. Not constantly, but the. The body jumping out thing, because it's so deep.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It is unbelievable. And it's also. It's so funny that it was, you know, 2001, but yet you sit and you watch that and you're like, oh, so naive about so many of these things. You know, everyone in the second building was told to stay put, stay put. And then when the plane hits the second building, people can't believe it. And it's like, yes, we're being attacked by terrorists. The building they attempted to blow it up in, what, 92, 93 or whatever? 91. Whenever it was. Like, this is not a pilot that had a heart attack and flew it into the. Into the building. One of our pilots would never do that. He'd go right into the Hudson or something. He'd pull a sully. So if the first building got hit, yeah, there may be multiple planes, and there are two right next to each other. And they tried to blow them up already. Get the fuck out of the building that hasn't been hit yet. But everyone stayed put in that building. And that thing that we do all the time, where our plan is to stay put, you know, it's a thing if, like, if a bear is trying to attack you, you don't run and you don't do any. It's like this. Our plan is sort of the nuclear bomb is dropping. You get under the desk. You know, it's this thing of, like. I know it's just there, so we don't panic, really. When they say stay put, they're saying, don't panic. But really, the best we can do with their planes raining out of the sky. Stay in your cubicle, by the way.

[Larry Miller]

You know what? That's gotten to me, too. I think that's an interesting syndrome that the last 30 years. Police will always tell you, don't fight back.

[Adam Carolla]

Give the guy the thing involved. If a guy wants to have unlawful relations with your wife, you basically become a lube dispenser. But you do not in any way give them your fillings. If they ask for your daughter's hymen, happily. And. And then every once a while, some guy gets stabbed. They go. See what happens when you attempt to thwart the. And this is if. You know, this is interesting. I didn't. I didn't really plan on going here. Stitcher's pissed because I'm supposed to be funny. But what the fuck? Once a year, we can get into something real. The think about this. The relax, sit down. Do not try to stop these people. It's what enabled six guys or seven guys to take over a jet airliner with a box cutter. If every guy had just jumped up and went, fuck that, I'm throwing an elbow to Mohammed's head here, we would have been fine. But there was that. Stay in your seats. Don't get involved. This is not. There could be a lawsuit. You could get up and knock over a serving tray onto another passenger, and he could sue your ass. And you're a dentist. And you have two homes and one in Palm Desert and you don't want to lose it. But so think about this notion. The guys basically go, we're cutting the stewardess throat or we're breaking in and we're taking over the plane. There are 200 able bodied other people on the plane that really are shocked and can't do anything but have had a steady diet of stay in your seat, don't attempt to get involved. Basically, if you're held up at an atm, give him your wallet. That's all he wants. All they want is the plane. They're going to hijack it, they're going to land it, we'll get you out of there safely. So stay in your seats. And then after the plane hits the first tower, everyone to the second tower. Stain your cubicles.

[Larry Miller]

Now, by the way, as opposed to, you know, throughout the 19th century in England, one of the reasons, you know, the cops don't have guns there is because people used to, you know, you hear the phrase stop thief, right? What people used to do, all the citizens of London with a high low, whether they're driving the cab or whether it's the Lord getting out of the cab, when someone yelled, stop thief. Everyone chased the guy, right? But that was kind of a cultural understanding, sure, that they were all in it together. Oh, we'll get the guy, right? Now I'm not saying that was the nicest thing in the world. And by the way, for stealing, you know, a piece of bread then, right?

[Adam Carolla]

You have to get the shit beat out of you. But yes, that notion that it's that thing of when you get into a car accident, you don't get out of.

[Larry Miller]

The car, don't move, don't do anything.

[Adam Carolla]

When somebody suffered a neck injury, you don't get them back up again. They need to be duct taped to a gurney before there's this thing where about all the instructions we get is don't move. And to me that does not sound like the greatest self defense of all.

[Larry Miller]

No, and it's not. And by the way, we touched on this in another way about the inversion of that is they talk way too much, they do too much movement. When it's the guy who's holding life up, the guy who's going to jump off the bridge. So they stop traffic on the bridge, 35,000 people are trying to get to work, right? And they say, just keep him talking.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Larry Miller]

And I always want to look, I'm sorry the guy's troubled, but you want to say, Buddy, you have 15 seconds jump if you're going to jump, but if not, you know what, we're going to take you in or going to knock you off because people have to get to work.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they didn't. There was a version of this which was a couple of weeks ago here in Los angeles, you know, 15 members of LA Raza, the political action organization who wants to claim Mexico and Arizona and Texas back for, I should say LA for Mexico. They zip tie themselves together, they make a little half doughnut, or maybe it's a churro shape, and they lay themselves across La Brea and Sunset and they're going to stop everything. And five hours later, the cops are trying to figure out a way to get these guys. How about you just do what you used to do and what you're good at doing and what you enjoy doing, which is grab the guys, get them in a semi headlo lock, pull everyone up, cut their fucking zip ties off and shove them in the back of a paddy wagon.

[Larry Miller]

And then life goes on.

[Adam Carolla]

But all this don't move. So now you got a whole group of people that aren't moving. You have the LAPD that can't move. Everybody just sort of goes into this vapor lock when something happens.

[Larry Miller]

Now I think we have, Look, I don't know, but I think we have another 30 to 100 years of vapor lock before this ocean liner starts to turn.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what'll happen is every in 25 years from now, every dude on that plane is going to be very well schooled in mixed martial arts and they're all going to be, they're going to have like brown belts in taekwondo. This MMA thing is such a huge thing that at some point, when some guy pulls out a box cutter, eight guys are just going to come flying at him with crescent kicks and elbows and pound the shit out of him while he's on the ground.

[Larry Miller]

They've already done that a couple of times because once, 9, 11 happened, then when that guy tried to light his shoes, which still, by the way, has to be the gold medal winner of the dumbest evil thing in the world. I mean, you've decided to be evil. You've decided, okay, you're gonna go with the whole program, right? And then that's it. That's the one. But people, as you know, did jump on him. You see people doing something now, everyone is hip to it, right? And they're going to say, no, no, no, no. And no one's going to listen to. First of all, I don't think any of the flight attendants Would say, stay in your seats. Maybe they would. But no, no, no. I'm always thinking that, too. And maybe I'm just a little paranoid. But you know what? I always take a look around the plane.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Larry Miller]

You know what? I'm not running for anything.

[Adam Carolla]

So I told you I had a guy sitting down next to me in first class. And it was an expensive first class. It was like JFK to lax. You know, three. Three class. You know, business class, first class. And this guy sitting next to me. And you know, the guy looks like he. You know. You know, the guys who. The guy at the funeral who you can tell has never put a sport jacket or tie on in his life. And he didn't know Eddie well. He's a transmission mechanic. But he knew him well enough because he married Eddie's sister. And now he had to come out to the thing. And you could tell she met. She mashed him into that sport jacket. And he just seemed like Donald Trump. Looks like he was born in a suit. You know, when he walks around. Yeah. Whatever you think of Donald Trump, it looks like he wakes up in the morning, he's in a suit with a silk tie on.

[Larry Miller]

It's like Sinatra and a tuxedo.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Whereas there's that guy that's either in court or at a funeral home. And it looks like somebody shoved him into it. They just mashed him in. He looks uncomfortable. Like, that's what. The guy next to me, he was 27. He looked uncomfortable. And he's wearing a. Didn't look like he wanted to wear suits. Wearing a tie. Didn't look like he knew how to make it. He wasn't ordering any drinks. And I said, I couldn't figure out what this guy was doing in first class.

[Larry Miller]

That's weird.

[Adam Carolla]

And I said, what are you doing up here? I didn't say, what are you doing up there? I said, well, what business you in? And he said, you know, import export business. I said, really? This is too weird.

[Larry Miller]

This is really starting to be weird.

[Adam Carolla]

How's that work? And he said, I'm a sky marshal. I was like, okay, but somebody ought to get you guys a new suit. Somebody. If you're a sky marshal, Someone says, put the fucking. Put the suit on on an off day and walk around in it for a couple hours so it doesn't look like.

[Larry Miller]

Although, by the way, it could be argued, because that was starting to freak me out as a story could be argued, he would actually have a better effect on things because people would say that we already have a Terrorist on this flight, by the way. It's like baseball players also in suits. Football players look okay in suits, but baseball players look like they're from Jupiter. They look like another life that was. That is wearing a suit. They're too muscular.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Larry Miller]

They don't look at all right in it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. It is weird when they. When they force them to put it on. Although I do and I know Larry misses these days as well. Back in the day when a flying meant something and suits meant something and your team meant something. To see the 1968 Kansas City Chiefs, every one of them wearing a black blazer with a red crest that said Kansas City Chiefs in a football shape on the. On the chest of the blazer in a thin black tie and the pomade in the hair. Everyone with a short haircut wearing red slacks.

[Larry Miller]

Anything that Hank Stram or Vince Lombardi ran.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Larry Miller]

Was always going to have guys getting on or off that bus looking. Looking sharp.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Not everyone wearing big, huge Dr. Dre headphones and Ed Hardy T shirts. Some sweatpants with our ass hanging out.

[Larry Miller]

Or nine private planes.

[Adam Carolla]

@ least we agree upon that. The great Larry Miller. Thanks for hanging out and doing our extra content, pal.

[Larry Miller]

I'll see you next time.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that's Adam Kulishow. 405, Part 2. Come up next, we have Adam Kolishow. 1414, the late, great, sometimes grumpy at Adam. Ivan Reitman in studio with Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop from 2014. It's time for Nicaraguan. Name that movie with Adam's buddy Oswaldo. See if you can guess which movie this famous line is from. Toga. Toga. If you said Animal House, you're correct. Now back to the show. Ivan Reitman is in studio Draft Day, the name of his film. Available now on pay per View, on Demand, Blu Ray dvd starring Kevin Costner and Jennifer Garner. Really nice film. And like I said, if you missed it, let's not miss it again. I think we'll put blah, blah, blah on the back burner. And I think, Ivan, you. We're in the middle of sort of talking about like Bridesmaids and movies like that. What is the next film that you would like to make? Or are you making it as we speak?

[Gina Grad]

Not making it now. I was going to direct the sequel to Ghostbusters. Actually. I heard about that. And with Harold Ramis passing away and with Bill Murray's sort of reluctance to be involved really, as an actor in a sequel, I said, well, what am I doing pushing so hard and trying to get a Script made for myself to direct. But mostly I was quite emotional. I had come back from Chicago from the funeral, and I called up the studio and I said, look, my heart's not in it now and it's time to sort of turn it over to perhaps some other director. I mean, I'd produce it because it's my film and it's part of my legacy.

[Adam Carolla]

Harold Ramis seemed like just a real decent guy.

[Gina Grad]

He was, he was. And my life would have being quite different between him and sort of Bill Murray. They were huge contributors to my life and I don't think I could have. I would have not had the success I've had without them.

[Adam Carolla]

Is Harold Ramis like, I don't want to say underrated, but everyone knows Bill Murray and people know Harold Ramis, but I don't think he gets the credit for doing some of the writing and maybe not as a performer.

[Brian Bishop]

He directed Groundhog Day.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, why is the material.

[Gina Grad]

Well, people don't generally, unless you're Martin Scorsese, you don't get that much, especially directing comedies. People don't think that there's a real job there. You get funny people and they do funny stuff and everything's great. And I think with Harold, I knew all these guys. I was fortunate because very early in my career, after Cannibal Girls, I produced an off Broadway show called the National Lampoon show, and it starred John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Bill Murray, Bill's brother Brian, and Harold Ramis. And this is long. This is before sctv, it's before Saturday Night Live. It's just a bunch of young, very, very smart, unbelievably talented guys. And so we did this show and they basically all got hired to do either Saturday Night Live, the Saturday Night Live, or Saturday Night with Howard Cosell, which is the Murray brothers, went to that one and ran for about three months until it stopped. The only guy who didn't get hired was Harold. And he became. I mean, I started working with him on the script that became Animal House off of that because he was the one guy who was free. And after a bunch of these movies got made and I was trying to talk Bill Murray into doing Stripes and I said, let's bring Harold in as your sort of co star on this. I was totally confident in using Harold because I saw him stand up to Gilda and to Belushi. He was just as good as they were. I saw it every day on stage. And so I was totally confident that even though by then Bill was quite Famous between Saturday Night Live and Meatballs, he was really breaking out and. And it turned out great. But really Harold was only starring in three movies. I directed all of them. It was basically Stripes and the two Ghostbusters.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's weird that I think he was held back by his name. Harold, I think his name was Dutch Ramis. He would have got more work, but I don't feel.

[Gina Grad]

Or Egon.

[Adam Carolla]

Or Egon.

[Gina Grad]

He could have switched over.

[Adam Carolla]

If you really think about it, he was great. And all the stuff that he did and even later on and knocked up, he sitting with Seth Rogen as his dad, like sitting there at the diner having that scene, you know, it was just like a great scene. And he was a really funny comedic actor and he was a really good writer. And I just feel like somehow he got lost in this shuffle almost. In a weird way, it's like what you said happened at the beginning. Some of the people went to go do Saturday Night Live. Some went to the cosel. And then there was Harold Ramis left. Poor Harold Ramis left behind. But why was he left behind? He was a really talented guy. He was a really funny guy. And he gets kind of lost in that mix.

[Gina Grad]

But people recognize him now as sort of really one of those great new great voices of that generation. I mean, apart from the movies that I directed that he either co wrote or was or acted in. You know, he directed Caddyshack, which is really one of Bill's great movies and of course Groundhog Day. So he's, you know, I think people respect him a lot. I think it's because he was not an actor. You know, I mean, he was an actor, but he wasn't a star. That was well known. The way his co stars from the National Lampoon show became known.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, just in terms of either acting in writing or directing some of the biggest and funniest comedies. You know, you do the top 10 of comedies and somehow he's somewhere involved. His stink is on eight of them. That's just. That's a pretty crazy legacy. He died fairly young and pretty tragically. Right. I mean, it was.

[Gina Grad]

He was suffering from some kind of debilitating illness. I think it started as diverticulitis and then it sort of evolved unfortunately into something really deadly.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you work with John Candy?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, he's first American film with Stripes.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, right.

[Gina Grad]

And then I actually when we had a draft of Ghostbusters, I remember calling him up and sending him that first script and Candy, he just never got it. I remember having this conversation with him. And he said, well, maybe if I played him like this German guy and I had these German shepherds. And I said, you can't have German shepherds because there's dogs on the roof already. You can't have too many dogs. It'll get confusing. And he finally sort of passed after a couple days. And I knew Rick Moranis from Canada. We were all hanging out together sort of growing up in Toronto. And I sent the draft to Rick. And this was. Yeah, just after SCTV began. But he was this amazingly talented actor. And Rick read it in like two hours and called me and said, well, please thank John Candy for forgetting about this movie. Because he knew what he was going to do with it. And he took it, he twisted it and just made something wonderful from his role.

[Adam Carolla]

I always forget about that role. And knowing that originally went out to John Candy, who just, you know, physically, you couldn't be two different guys.

[Gina Grad]

I mean, this is before even Sigourney was involved. I didn't even know who Dana Barrett was going to be in the film.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, and how did you get Sigourney Weaver involved with that?

[Gina Grad]

She came. I remember she was one of the two people I was meeting with. I met with Julia Roberts just after Mystic Pizza. She had made one film, I remember, and she was very impressive and wonderful and beautiful looking. And I remember telling everybody in my office after she left, my God, that woman's going to be a star. And, you know, she turned out okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Same thing about me and Jimmy turned out to be wrong.

[Gina Grad]

That's right. And then Sigourney came in, and I knew her. I mean, I knew Alien and Year of Living Dangerously. And here's this extraordinary, elegant, smart, sophisticated woman, you know, Yale Drama School. And she gets the comedy immediately from the draft. And she makes this wonderful suggestion. At some point, she said, you know, that Dana Barrett should get really possessed and become a dog. That wasn't part of the script yet. It wasn't part of that very first draft. And she gets on my coffee table on all fours and starts howling and sort of acting like a possessed dog person.

[Adam Carolla]

A casting coffee table.

[Gina Grad]

I remember calling up Harold. Speaking of Harold, I called him up right after she left, and I said, you know, I had this actress, Sigourney Weaver, and she said that Dana Barrett should get possessed and act like a dog. It seemed like a really cool idea. And we wrote it all in. The wonderful thing about Ghostbusters is that it really evolved so quickly, because as I told you earlier, we only had 13 months from the beginning of writing to delivery of a final movie. And so everybody was making wonderful suggestions. It was one of those very fortunate things where I had just brilliant people in all areas of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I have a question that you can definitely answer after this spot because it's not going to involve any real.

[Gina Grad]

It's not going to be one of those hardware.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no. It's going to be a very easy one, which is. I've been involved with a number of like network sitcoms and stuff like that. And I believe that time hurts the creative process when now it hurts it and hinders it when you don't have enough. But when you have too much, it's like a dog that starts gnawing at its own leg. Too many suggestions. Too many. Think about that thought for a second. I mean, think about Ghostbusters. If you'd had three years of pre production, would it be better? Because I feel like there would have been way too many voices and way too many changes and way too many punch up sessions with the guys who were the best in the business and blah blah, blah. It would have turned into something that it wasn't. But. I know I'm putting words in your mouth, but give it some thought. I took a groundlings class once and it was the. I think it was a writer's lab and the teacher just said, look, I throw out a topic like a scenario, like you're talking to someone through glass. That's it, that's all through glass. That's your conversation. And then you have 10 minutes to work out the beats and then get up on stage and do a monologue. And everyone was like, 10 minutes, 10 minutes to do a monologue. This is going to take days to shape, you know. And sure enough, everyone did it. And a lot of them were really good. And you were really surprised what you could throw together in 10 minutes and how good it was. And then I've been through the network sitcom system where it's like, oh, we love the script. And then lock yourself in a bungalow for nine weeks with a bunch of guys and totally tear the script apart. Just lose everything you started with. And I don't think your second thought creatively is, is your best. I feel like maybe that 13 months was good that you were under that kind of constraint. It brought everyone's best or a game out. But what do you think? Have you had that experience?

[Gina Grad]

It's a thesis that I quote often and including. I think if we had three years, it would have ended up to be Ghostbusters 3, which is unmade. And because the studio has lots to say, all kinds of people who have no sense of what's funny into what. The sort of basic nature of what you're trying to do. And you start. Things that were really funny about a year and a half ago don't seem that funny anymore because you've been reading it 70 times. So people lose confidence in something that's perfectly wonderful.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

And, yeah, I totally believe in that process now. Yeah. Meanwhile, you and I and Jimmy sat for I can't remember how long, but it was a lot. And we met a lot of times. We seemed to make the script better. But somehow the best ones find a life and they just keep going forward. And the movies that I've ended up making, you know, somehow manage to get that rhythm, and you stay in that rhythm and you just pound it out. And then you try to make it as fast as you can with as little interference as possible. One of the diseases of the contemporary Hollywood scene is there's way too many vice presidents and creative executives. And this is true both in television and film, which is there's too many opinions. Everyone's got a decent opinion. It's not like. But finally, these films should be done by a small group of people that have sort of have a point of view and let them just run. I think generally you're going to spend less money and you're going to make movies that are at least as good as the ones you're making right now. Probably better.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, my feeling has always been, look, you have a joke, I have a joke, but your joke is your joke, and it's the joke you want to tell. And even if your joke is a seven and my joke is an eight, me forcing you to do my joke is not going to work out because you're doing your joke like it's yours. That's what you want to do. And the system seems to go, all right, let's go get someone outside to come in and punch us up and take your jokes and make them into their jokes or whatever it is. And there's a certain. I don't know, we should stop taking everything and assigning a number to it and just go, this is what Ivan wants to make. And it'll be a better product in totality if we stand back and let him do what he wants to do versus force feed him our jokes.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. The great comedies that I've made never had that process. It's a relatively contemporary process, and I think it came out of the writing rooms of television. Sitcoms. But even that was quick because that had the pressure of, oh, my God, we got a shoot tomorrow and we're on the air next week.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I mean, and I always say, what creatively, what good came out of committee? I mean, whether it was writing, comedy or painting, I mean, what good? Or the design of something, you know, an architect or whatever, a bridge, whatever timeless, whatever beauty work of art, whatever it is in our society, Was it a whole gaggle of folks who just came together and looked at the Golden Gate Bridge and just argued for months over there and everyone trying to get their stink on it and trying to assert their will and all that? I mean, how would it help any process that was artistic or creative by nature? That's my argument. And by the way, people should trust you.

[Gina Grad]

And I mean, I totally agree.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's do just a little bit of news, and then we'll bring it on home with Allison Rosen there, buddy. The news with Allison Rosen.

[Larry Miller]

She'll read some news from her iPad.

[Adam Carolla]

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with zip it Cut. It's Allison Allison.

[Ali Wong]

We recently talked about NASCAR driver Tony Stewart. Turns out a grand jury will decide whether he's going to be charged or not. And the DA had the option of reviewing everything and then saying there wasn't enough evidence to support charges in dropping the case, but chose not to do that.

[Adam Carolla]

So he saw something that they didn't like, presumably. Presumably.

[Ali Wong]

I mean, saw enough to say that this should go to a grand jury to decide whether he should be charged or not.

[Adam Carolla]

Interesting. I've heard some people say if you want to get. It's going to be an impossible thing to prove because it's a car on a dirt track with 700 horsepower. Some people say in order to get traction, you got to give it a little gas. Otherwise, if you're coasting, you'll slide. I raced vintage but not dirt track, so I wouldn't know. But they're going to have to get a bunch of experts named Buddy in there to, like, qualify to tell you what dirt track racing an oval is like. But look, does anyone think he set out to kill this guy? Is this a. I mean, you know, manslaughter at best? Is this an accident? Right. I mean, it's racing.

[Brian Bishop]

It seems like it.

[Gina Grad]

It's absolutely that. And I think this is all about a district attorney who doesn't want to take the responsibility of making the Call. It's much easier. This happens all the time where they hand it over to the grand jury. It's out of my hands now.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

It was these guys who said it. Okay, now we're going to do a trial.

[Adam Carolla]

Interesting. Yeah, because it's just. I mean, I've seen a few. I've seen some footage of it and all that kind of stuff, and it just seems like one of those tragic accidents. And also, it's a little different now in that if somebody's dead or somebody's hurt, somebody's got to be punished. And it used to just be, ah, shit happens. Like, boy, the guy went out first off, he decided to be a race car driver for a living. That's dangerous. And then he jumped out of his car, threw his helmet down and started yelling at somebody. Or just jumped out of his car and started yelling at somebody. That seems dangerous. And, oh, shit, he got hit. And we just chalked that stuff up to, well, shit, shit happens. You want to be a professional race car driver, shit can happen. That's why it's a dangerous sport. And now everything has to be investigated to its fullest. And there needs to be a grand jury, and we need to examine the photos. I sort of just miss the. I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

Shit happens.

[Adam Carolla]

Shit happens. Yes. All right. We'll see. I don't. People think because I know racing, I somehow know, but I can't tell what was going on. I do know getting out of your car and yelling at other drivers while they're in their car seems unwise. Seems unwise, yeah. And like I said, I tell the same thing to people when it comes to lapd, which is right or wrong. They got the gun. So don't run at them flapping your arms around like you may have been pulled over for an unreasonable search. And they may be completely in the wrong. Except there's one thing that makes them permanently right, which is to have a gun. So, like, just sit on your hands, don't push the issue. Yeah. Later on, you can sue them or whatever it is, but at this particular point where the guy's in a sprint car or where the cop has a gun, just go ahead and stay in your car for now. That's one thing I know. That's one thing I think the Jews know very well. Stay in the car. Stay in the car. Don't run flapping around.

[Gina Grad]

Don't get in the car in the first place.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't get in the car if it's got a roll bar and no fender. Stay out of it, yes. So John Travolta addressed the gay rumors in an interview with Daily Beat. Is that his backup band? Yeah. John Travolta and the Gay rumors.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, fellas, lay down a slow beat.

[Adam Carolla]

He addressed him, all right. He said, this is every celebrity's Achilles heel.

[Ali Wong]

It's just about people wanting money, that's all. It happens on many levels.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't care that much about it.

[Ali Wong]

Other people may attack it back more.

[Adam Carolla]

Than I do, but I let all the media stuff go a long time.

[Ali Wong]

Ago because I can't control it. I think that's why it persists to some degree.

[Adam Carolla]

And then he says, and remember when there were all those things going around with Lance Bass and, oh, shit, forget it. By the way, where's the COVID of. Where's the COVID of. Was it People magazine, Us magazine? Where Lance Bass said, I'm gay? Really, the only time I've really made my wife laugh is over the COVID of that magazine. Because it's this magazine that. Well, we'll find it and we'll figure it out. But the point is, here's. I have two thoughts. One is, ah, you know, People talks Hollywood. What are you going to do? On the other hand, you don't hear it about everybody. It's not every actor's Achilles heel, Right? It seems that you don't hear it about everyone.

[Ali Wong]

I mean, the rumors have been swirling around him for so, so long.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's People magazine. And I said to my wife, you don't need to write I'm gay under that picture. You could write the new face of Al Qaeda and I would see, I'm gay. Like, there's nothing you could put underneath. No reason. It's a lot like there was a bright orange convertible Mini Cooper, and it had the gay flag license plate around it. And I said, unnecessary. I can tell from outer space, whoever's driving this vehicle is gay. And people, I'll save you some font print there. You just show that picture Lance Bass and you put your hand up over there. I'm gay part, and you go, that's the headline. This doesn't. It's not like this rumor swirling around David Faustino.

[Brian Bishop]

No, there are not.

[Adam Carolla]

Bud Bundy is aggressively heterosexual. Well, what is mean is we've talked about Seth Rogen, right? No rumors. I mean, he's a single guy, right? Rumors swirling around him. Bill Murray, late. Great. Harold Ramis. I brought up a lot of names over the past hour. Nothing swirling around no gay Achilles heel. Right. I'm not saying he's Gay. I'm not saying. I'm saying. Also, who cares if he's gay? But I'm just saying he cannot. I disagree with his reasoning. He cannot just go, well, you know, all actors go through this phase where everyone thinks they're gay.

[Gina Grad]

But why is this conversation even necessary or even important or even interesting?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you why.

[Brian Bishop]

She brought it up.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right, she. The little fruit fly over here, brought it up. No, here's what we do as human beings. We're constantly trying to. Now, we thought Lance Bass was gay, but we didn't hear anything. And then the second he said, I'm gay, we all went, oh, okay. That's what we thought. And we moved on. Because what bugs us as human beings is thinking something and having somebody either deny it or not know it. So you ever have that thing where it's like you're sure somebody did something or something, and they go, no, never. And you go, oh, come on. And they go, no, never. It's not really the act. It's the. I think this. And by the way, if I think of something and my impulse tells me this is something and I'm wrong, I'm gonna start questioning everything. So it fucks us up. So what we want to know is, you just tell us you're gay, and then we can move on. We're not gonna treat you any differently. The whole premise is like, oh, well, you're gonna find out this guy's gay, and then Hollywood's gonna turn their back on or they're gonna shun. I think Lance Bass is probably doing better since he came out of the closet. It's not that. It's that we're bugged, that we think something is happening, and as human beings, it's being denied and we have to question our gay divining rods. I keep mine in the closet. But you know what I'm saying? Do you know what I'm saying?

[Ali Wong]

No, I think you're right. I think it's that feeling of, oh, just tell me the truth. Even though we have no right to know.

[Adam Carolla]

No. And it sleeps with it. Makes no difference in our lives. Shouldn't care. It's just. You just wonder why around the one guy and not around the other. And I'll ask you this. When has it turned out to be just completely false? You've been around a while.

[Ali Wong]

I don't think Richard Gere did anything with a gerbil.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I have proof.

[Ali Wong]

You know the guy whose cousin is the doctor?

[Adam Carolla]

No. I know why he did That I know that you know.

[Ali Wong]

Yes, that you think you know.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just saying.

[Ali Wong]

I personally am not sold on the gerbil theory.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's why. It's true. He was married to Cindy Crawford.

[Ali Wong]

I know after Cindy Crawford, you have.

[Adam Carolla]

To go gerbil, because what else is left? Everything's a lateral move. When you're banging a 27 year old Cindy Crawford and you're just looking around going, I don't know where to go, Raider. No, that's a move. See, I can't get past raider. Rat. He's looking down at raider rats going, tired, gerbil. Where do you go?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you start to have a.

[Adam Carolla]

Where do you go sexually? You know what I mean? I feel the same way with like, you know, Mick Jagger and David Bowie and stuff like that. I just go, look, I'm tired of fucking every model I've ever met. I got to do something else. She's a stepping stone drug, you know what I mean? It's like, that's why these guys start mixing like heroin and speed and coke and stuff. They eventually kills them, but it's like they go, I got nowhere to go. I'm fucking Cindy Crawford. I have nowhere to go from here. I gotta go, gerbil. I gotta go gerbil. Come on. This is bul. Ivan. This is bulletproof thinking, right?

[Gina Grad]

This is nutty thinking.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, please. We should find the other guys who slept with Cindy Crawford and. And go. Where do you move? Where do you go? Oh, see if there's a gerbil history. Oh, I. Well, I guarantee there is.

[Ali Wong]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, for sure.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that's a common thread. All the guys had some gerbil encounter in their past.

[Ali Wong]

Why is no one looking into it?

[Adam Carolla]

It's funny to sit down with, like, her high school boyfriend put a gerbil in the ass. How many times?

[Brian Bishop]

Who told you?

[Adam Carolla]

Not more than a dozen. Why?

[Brian Bishop]

Who's asking?

[Adam Carolla]

Those gerbils are liars. How?

[Brian Bishop]

Send it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's bring it home. That's the news. I'm Alison Rosenz. Everett Kunt.

[Brian Bishop]

The news with Allison. That was the news with Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, this is Adam Kuroll Show 1414. Coming up next, we have Adam Kroll Show 1816, featuring Ali Wong, Vinnie Tordrich, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop from May of 2016. Check it out. In the spirit of Murrow, Cronkite, Brokaw. Here's another great moment in local news. It's considered a Super bowl of fashion. It's underway right now in Manhattan.

[Christy Bishop]

Yes, we are talking about the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute benefit, also known simply as the Met Gala. Who is that, guys?

[Adam Carolla]

Taylor Swift. My favorite.

[Ali Wong]

She's wearing Louis Vuitton.

[Christy Bishop]

That's right. She's one of the two co chairs of the night. I like her boots. I like her.

[Ali Wong]

She did her hair light blonde.

[Adam Carolla]

The metallic dress, it just looks cool. She's wearing that very well.

[Christy Bishop]

That is excellent observation. Okay, okay, okay, Paul. Here's Taylor's date.

[Adam Carolla]

She's wearing that very well. That's a great moment in local news. Now back to the Adam Carolla Show. Ali Wong is in studio. Baby Cobra is the name of the stand up special. It's on Netflix and it is just fantastic. I watched it this very day. Ally.

[Ali Wong]

Oh, man. Thanks so much. That means a lot. Not many people have seen it.

[Adam Carolla]

So very smart. It's very smart. It's just a. It's. It's just a. I mean, I can tell your. Your. Your intelligence just sort of shines through. It's funny. But that.

[Gina Grad]

It's.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just. It's. It's with. It's so well crafted.

[Ali Wong]

Oh, thanks.

[Adam Carolla]

The verbiage.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah. I mean, I'd been working. I've been doing stand up now for like 12 years, and I. It was hard to work on the special because I was pregnant.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Seven and a half months, I think you said in the.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah. The doctor told me the day before I flew out to shoot it. She was like, you can't take any more trips because I had this condition called IUGR where my umbilical cord, the blood wasn't flowing, like, freely from the placenta to the baby. So she was like, no more trips. And I was like, I have to take one more trip. And she was like, no more. And I was like, I have to.

[Adam Carolla]

Where'd you film it?

[Ali Wong]

In Seattle. I could only work out my hour in places that were like, one to three hours away from la.

[Adam Carolla]

Where in Seattle?

[Ali Wong]

At the Neptune Theater.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, we played there a few times. Yeah, it's a great. It's a great crowd. Funny. We can play. I was laughing at the HPV bit. There's a funny racism bit. I was laughing because I had a thing with Dr. Drew where he's like, you have HPV.

[Ali Wong]

Oh, it's undetectable in men.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there is a way.

[Ali Wong]

Serious hpv.

[Adam Carolla]

There is a way to detect it.

[Ali Wong]

There is. I feel like HPV is one of those things, like when you're in your 20s or in your 30s, where it's like, you remember when you Were as a woman, I was, I think, in, like, high school and all the girls admitted that they masturbated then. I feel like HPV in their 30s. It's like, yeah, it's okay, girl. I got HPV, too. Everybody has it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ali Wong]

It's like, it's not a big deal.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel that way with the. About the TV show, Alfred.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone's like, I thought that show was kind of funny. I mean, it wasn't all gold, but a lot of that stuff. I mean, it was. I mean, there's no sign of a Master Seinfeld or anything like that. There's good little smiles in there. Yeah. I mean, for sure. I mean, it was great, but it wasn't bad. I mean. Yeah, I've had that conversation with every comedic mind where I go. I kind of like alf. Yeah, me too. I thought I was the only one.

[Ali Wong]

ALF was your hpv.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's my hpv. I think Ralph had hpv. Yeah. I'll tell you, we'll watch. We watch a little HPV. Yeah. And then just 25 seconds, and we'll do a little racism.

[Ali Wong]

I grew up a lot this past year. This past year, I also got married.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ali Wong]

To a man who now has hpv. Very lucky guy. He gave me something. I gave him something holding a ring that will also last forever.

[Adam Carolla]

I had to go back and watch that. I was watching on my computer, and I stepped away from it. I turned it all the way up, and then he went. She gave me. He gave me something. And I was like, oh, I gotta go see the joke. Yeah. There is a way to detect it, Dr. Drew. You dump acid on your ding a ling, and then you shine a black light on it and you get the little white caps.

[Ali Wong]

Wow, you have, like, a rave in your pants.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Ali Wong]

Time travel back to the 90s.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ali Wong]

That sounds great, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'll tell you, that sounds like.

[Ali Wong]

A really fun way to find out. Yeah. Get the glow sticks out.

[Adam Carolla]

It takes a very confident individual to do it live on the air on a syndicated nightly radio show. But I think Dr. Marcel came in when Dr. Drew told me. Oh, you got it. And by the way, about the third time Dr. Drew told me I had HPV, I was like, oh, you got HPV protesting. Telling me I have it means you have it, Dr. Drew.

[Ali Wong]

Well, here's the other fun thing about having an STD when you're married. It's like, I already got you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ali Wong]

What are you gonna do, run away? You got it, too.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Ali Wong]

We're both in this. Let's just pass it back and forth and die together.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah, it's over.

[Adam Carolla]

I wish I had that with my wife. We don't have that kind of closeness. I said, I bet him 100 bucks. I said, I don't have HPV. And he said, you do. And I said, prove it. He said, you do, but you don't know it. And they dumped the acetic acid, I think it is on your dork. And then they look at it in a dark light and you could imagine it foaming up where there was a lesion. If you put a little. If you had a little cut on your hand and you dump that acid on it or hydrogen.

[Ali Wong]

It's lesion. You can't see it well with the black light.

[Adam Carolla]

With the black light in the acid. But nope, came out clean. Yeah, so. But, you know, you could all try it.

[Mike August]

Just grab yourself some acid.

[Brian Bishop]

Realistic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we got another clip. Where do we have the racism clip?

[Ali Wong]

But I think that for marriage, it can be nice to be with somebody of your own race. The advantage is that you get to go home and be racist together. You get to say whatever you like. You don't gotta explain shit. My husband, half Filipino, half Japanese. I'm half Chinese and half Vietnamese, and we spend 100% of our time shitting on Korean people. It's amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a very funny stand up special. And again, it's on Netflix. And so, tour dates. Let's see what I got this here. Yeah.

[Ali Wong]

I'm gonna be in D.C. in June at Drafthouse, and I'm gonna try to bring. You guys were talking about breastfeeding, and I was, like, so nervous about what I'm gonna do because it's gonna be my first road date since I had the baby, so. And I have. I've gone to San Francisco for like a day, and I had to pump midair.

[Adam Carolla]

Midair.

[Ali Wong]

Midair.

[Adam Carolla]

So you're playing basketball. Yeah, I know. Wait a minute.

[Mike August]

And it's not because you have a baby with you. It's because you have to pump.

[Ali Wong]

Because I have to pump and the baby's not with me.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Ali Wong]

And so. And I have to empty out. Otherwise my, you know, the boobs get, like, all veiny. It looks like a bad boob job. Drippy. Gross. No one wants that. And so I was sitting between two dudes who look like they work at Pawn Stars.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ali Wong]

And I was like, I got a pump. Chumlee.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ali Wong]

Like, I just got to do it. And then. And they were totally cool about It. I mean, who wouldn't Cool about myself and what about my business? Free show.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you give them a heads up?

[Ali Wong]

Yeah, I told them because it was just. It's just weird. Otherwise, it looks like I'm about to assemble a bomb. Right, because you're putting all these parts together.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. How long does it take?

[Ali Wong]

10 to 15 minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so. Yeah, you can't. There's no. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and take care of this. That's way too long. Yeah, so you did it. And so you said to the guys, like, here's what I need to do. And they were like, all right.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah, they were like, cool. They, like, tried not to stare, but I could tell that, you know, they did the look down and everything and it's fine. I don't care because my titties aren't my titties anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

They're not. They're your son or daughter.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah, they're two refrigerators.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Ali Wong]

That's all they are. I'm like not a sexual person anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

Did. Yeah, I know. She switched frames. Yeah, she went to her non sexual frame glasses. Your husband, he was. He was at Harvard Business?

[Ali Wong]

Yeah, he went to Harvard Business School.

[Adam Carolla]

And is he able to. Are you still the breadwinner or.

[Ali Wong]

We share. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What business is he in?

[Ali Wong]

He is in like the tech industry. So. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

How does he feel?

[Gina Grad]

Day.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, new mom and everything out on the road pumping on planes between the pond star guys.

[Ali Wong]

I haven't been on the road yet, so he's gonna come with me when we go to DC and the baby. Because that five hour flight to dc, I was like, I don't want to pump when. I just don't want to pump on a five hour flight like a couple times.

[Adam Carolla]

And how is he? You know, you hear Asian, Harvard Business degree. We think a little bit uptight, a little bit buttoned down. A lot of the act is talking about sleeping with other guys and, you know, the venereal disease and that kind of stuff. Most folks, most husbands, probably not a huge fan of that component of the act. But how is he with it? Is he there? Is he cool?

[Ali Wong]

He's super cool. He watched the first show of my special and then he just worked on his laptop for the second show. He could. I mean, he's like, yeah, you're pretty funny on stage, but I'm a lot. He thinks I'm a lot funnier at home. Like when he's working on.

[Adam Carolla]

So he watched the first one and then he went to the Laptop.

[Ali Wong]

Then he went to the laptop.

[Adam Carolla]

Give me the laptop. Sound. Here's what he was doing.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a double. All working. No playmake jacket. No play. Was that from the Shannon? Yep.

[Mike August]

Stephen King.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. He's.

[Ali Wong]

He's a lot. He thinks I'm a lot funnier at home and he's a lot funnier at home. He's funnier than me at home, but I'm the only person. I think he's the funniest person in the world. But he only does the kind of shit he does at home for me, which is very special because for me, you know, I'm around funny dudes all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Ali Wong]

And. But he's like, he's super goofy and I love it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, good. And he's cool.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah, he's super cool. I mean, it would have been very easy. I think it's hard for a female stand up comic to find love because you're around a lot of funny dudes and it's like, who's gonna be? And it's like, it becomes the most masculine quality. It's like, if you can make me laugh, that's more important than earning money. That's more important than like anything else in the world. But then all those dudes in your field are kind of dysfunctional and competitive and you don't want to like, wake up next to someone who's like, you know, gossiping to you about how they had a bad set and how they're jealous that this person got cable and you did, and they got Montreal.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I say this? I think it's kind of a perfect storm, which is comedians shouldn't be dating other comedians. This is crazy. On crazy crime, like, there's already one of you that's nuts in this relationship. Relationship. Go find a crossing guard or something. Yeah, find a sane person. Find an accountant or somebody to kind of let you know you need to add some flour to this crazy stew you're cooking on. Not. Not.

[Ali Wong]

But it's hard because when you're a woman, you're out at night and there's like, there's all these dudes, like, hitting on you or whatever. When you're seeing a cupboard and you're like. And it's late and you're like, okay, like, I guess I'll sleep with you. And then you just get stuck sleeping with these people.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, do you need. I'll tell you where there's a lot of Stuff that's wrong. One is, I don't feel like most comedians. Male comedians need a partner that makes them laugh.

[Ali Wong]

Totally.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm done.

[Ali Wong]

They just need someone who listens and goes and watches their set.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even need that.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah, maybe they don't even need that.

[Adam Carolla]

Has Lynette ever showed up to a show that I've ever done in town or out of town that you're aware of?

[Brian Bishop]

I can't specifically remember.

[Adam Carolla]

Only one I can think of. But she was there for mangoria business. But I literally do Kimmel and she doesn't watch. I've never seen her at anything in LA that night. I don't care. Evidently she doesn't either. Or she's aware that I don't care and it doesn't matter. But most comedians are so needy that they hook up with and guys hook up. So they put all the pressure on the person that you gotta watch. You gotta have a full rapport for me.

[Ali Wong]

Kinda like with a fan. Like the number one, their number one fan. I think that's the wrong way to.

[Adam Carolla]

Go, but I feel like female comedians need to hook up with someone who makes them laugh. Like Sarah Silverman needs to hook up with someone who makes her laugh instead of a normal person. And people that make them laugh are oftentimes more neurotic and nuttier than they are. Yeah. Interesting. You got a husband who makes you laugh, but then zips it soon as you leave the house, which is smart.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah, he's really. He's really both.

[Adam Carolla]

Both.

[Ali Wong]

Him and I grew up in, like. I mean, a lot of people ask me, what do your parents think about you doing standup comedy?

[Adam Carolla]

And I think that's an Asian thing.

[Ali Wong]

I think that's an Asian thing. And the assumption there is that, like. Which is totally fair and safe, that I grew up in a really. Like a tight, rigid Asian family, but. But I grew up with really unconventional parents who were super liberal and progressive. And he did too. So we both, coming from that background, we're both pretty. Our parents are really chill. And he's really.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going to tease a question, and I know Gina's got a question as well. Don't answer. But I really do think some people have a sort of gift. There's like three comedians. There's a sort of gifted funny, like a musical ear or ability to do impersonations. Then there's I'm not funny, but I'm just gonna will myself. I'm just gonna play the part of a comedian. And then there's I'm not really that funny, but I'm super smart and I can take that and point it any direction. And I would just be a funny lawyer, a great lawyer, or a funny stand up comedian because I'm smart and I'll just take it the direction I want to go with it. And Gina has hers. So I almost called you Vinny Ally, you are highly intelligent. I can tell them watching your stamp. You also have a great sense of humor. But for you, which do you rely on, do you think? Or were you always a funny person? Or could you parents want you to be a veterinarian? And you said, I'm gonna take my smarts and turn it toward comedy.

[Ali Wong]

I was always like a funny person outside of my house. But I think that I grew up the youngest of four and my siblings are all like, they're all like 10 plus years older than me. Like one of my sisters, I think is about to turn 50. And so I was really quiet in my house and at the dinner table because when you're the youngest, nothing you say has any sort of credence because everyone's like, that's so stupid. You know, like, we've been through, like, how can you make that overarching statement that, like, broccoli's disgusting? You'll see, it's like, it's not disgusting. You'll like it later, you'll want to eat broccoli or whatever. Dismissive, totally dismissive. So when I went outside of the house to like camp, I was like the funny person because I was like, listen to me, I'm a different person. And I think to this day my family's like, I can't believe that people would pay to watch her, you know, And I don't know. So. And then I was like an academic person, but I was never really that good at anything. And the only thing I was ever good at was making people laugh. But now off stage, I'm a really, like, subdued person. And I think amongst my friends, I'm not the funniest person because, like, I get so tired of being on, on stage all the time that, like, I'm a lot more like subdued and calm and quiet now. So I don't know if they really answered.

[Adam Carolla]

That's good question. Gina, you had a question?

[Mike August]

I did. I'm always curious about this with comedians and maybe more so with females, I'm not sure. But you said that your family, your husband's super chill. How much do you bring the people that are most personal to you into the act and if so, how much discretion do they ask you to give?

[Ali Wong]

I don't think I. You know, my family's really private, so I think I don't bring them too much into that because people are always like, talk about your family. And there's a lot of crazy stuff with my family, but I try to not bring them too much into it. And then my husband kind of understands that it's so hard to fashion a joke. So even if it's not exactly about him, it might be. Even if I have an idea that, like, about a sex story, it might be funny to say that it's, you know, him. Just because it's shorter. Just for the sake of economy of language, instead of saying, this white guy I dated 3 years ago refused to put it in the back or something. It might be just quicker sometimes for me to say my husband, so he understands that, like, what I do is a lie that speaks a greater truth. You know, that it's like it's all the goal is funny and that he's not really a victim in it. You know, it's just jokes.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? I like. Yeah. And it's so funny. Hey, Gary, somebody tweeted me. You know, we're talking about all this, like, victim mentality and everyone's. The microaggressions and the campuses and all that kind of stuff. Somebody tweeted me the time that Fletcher from Pennywise trapped me and Drew.

[Mike August]

That was me.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that was you? Sorry.

[Mike August]

I was begging you to talk about it.

[Adam Carolla]

I was planning to bring it up on Monday. We'll get it on Monday, but the long and the short of it, and then we'll get into nuts and the bolts on Monday's show. But he's a huge man. He physically threatened both of us. He said he was taking us to Poo Poo City. I'm not sure what that meant. And listen, I played football, and I'm telling you, he's bigger than any guy I'd ever seen on a football field. He's just a mountain. Fletcher was arguably bigger than Penn Jillette in real life. Just a massive man.

[Brian Bishop]

Certainly girthian, more muscular. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

It's huge.

[Mike August]

I looked up his stats after I watched it, and they said it was like 6, 6, 300 pounds, but thick. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, Dr. Drew is 6, 2, 2, 10 and well built. And Fletcher standing next to him makes Dr. Drew look like a gymnast, right? Yeah. He's a huge man, gargantuan. And he stood in front of the door, he said he's Taking us to Poo Poo City. And he also said he had a grenade. He's gonna blow us up.

[Brian Bishop]

And I think that was Anderson's first night. Can you imagine him being training on the job? This is my new job.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Here's the point. Soon as the PD showed up and we were released from the studio, there was no paperwork filed. There was no lawsuits. I never said I felt threatened. He said he had a grenade and he was taking us to Poo Poo City and he wasn't gonna let us out of the thing. And I said. I never said I feared. I never said I was threatened. I never complained about any of it other than the inconvenience part of it. I told him during the commercial, you can do whatever you want, but I gotta leave at midnight. Cause I gotta get outta here, off the clock. I'm out. So whatever you want to do in terms of abduction, possible rape, you gotta do it. You're on the clock.

[Mike August]

90 more minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all I told him is I'm leaving at midnight. Whatever's going on before was like, probably 11:40. Do whatever you want for the next 20 minutes. But then I'm splitting. And then that was it. But when I drove home, I wasn't crying. I didn't have to take a Silkwood and or rape shower. I didn't feel violated, and I didn't wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats. And I didn't send any angry letters to the management of Pennywise or Fletcher or the management of the radio station or anybody. It was nothing. And that was an actual event situation. That was an actual. That was something. That wasn't Donald Trump's manager putting his hand on somebody's shoulder. That was a huge man saying he had a grenade and we're going to Poo Poo City. And it still felt like nothing to me. So this whole part where everyone goes, well, don't you think this and don't you think that. It's the same thing I told Gloria Allred. I was like, well, don't you think these people in the audience, when Michael Richards goes off on a. I said, that's up to them. They don't have to feel violated and they don't have to feel threatened. You don't. I was being threatened and didn't feel violated and. Or threatened. That's up to you. It really is.

[Ali Wong]

And that's how I also feel about, like, a lot of people ask me, what is it like to be a woman of color in comedy? And it's like, well, if I wake up and say to myself every day, I'm a woman of color in comedy, how is that? It's like, it's hard enough to be funny, right? Just be funny. And, like, if you're gonna think about all of your limitations.

[Adam Carolla]

Stay on point.

[Ali Wong]

But, like, just. If you think about all of your, like, limitations and everything and all of, like, your boundaries, then they become real, but they're not. They're like social constructs. They're not. Like, that event could be, like, real if you made it, you know, more real. If you made it more real.

[Adam Carolla]

It'S all either something or it's nothing. It just depends how you perceive it.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And as I've said all the time, I just told Max Zapata this. You get the crazy neighbor, and there are crazy requests and crazy complaints and whatever it is. And I always just go, if you were black, you just think this person was a racist. There's no other thoughts. There's no other thoughts except for it. Then when it happens to the white guy, you're like, oh, not racist, Crazy. I get it. And that's how. But Max Paddle backed me up with this neighbor. If you were black or anything else, you'd have no other conclusion to draw other than this person's a racist. That would be the only conclusion you could draw.

[Brian Bishop]

Armando's first, right?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It seems like she was out to get me. Yes. Well, why. Why even go through life that way? And the thing is, too, is also, do you have a choice of not being a woman or not being of Asian descent? And if the answer's no, well, then get on with it.

[Ali Wong]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the whole thing. Cause you're sitting there and debating something that's not really up for debate totally either.

[Ali Wong]

It's such a boring question. And even though I think their intention is good, it's kind of like us. Not a sexist question.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's condescending.

[Ali Wong]

It's condescending. And it's like, you're like, if I. You know, it's like, why don't you ask me about my ideas? Or what do you know? Something like that.

[Mike August]

It's like saying, how. How do you do this? Knowing that you're less than because of A and B, which is not how you see yourself or how you should.

[Adam Carolla]

See yourself, or that people look at you as less than.

[Mike August]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

The reality, especially with comedy, it's basically sports. It's go out on the field and either kick ass or don't. And then that'll be it. We don't really care what the sport is or what the color is or what the nationality is. Just go out there, dribble the ball, hit the ball, or, you know, hit the guy, whatever it is, go do it. That's what sports kind of teaches us. Whether it's the baseball diamond or the octagons, it's like, whoever's kicking the most ass. You know, arguably the two biggest sports stars in MMA are a blonde chick. And then there's McGregor, who is the whitest dude on the world, and then there's Jon Jones, who's the blackest dude in the world. And that's it. A bunch of weird guys whose names we can't pronounce, from Brazil. That's it. Who kicks the most ass. That's basically how we're wired. We don't, like, have to talk to him or her or. I mean, just go in the Octagon and kick ass. Yeah.

[Ali Wong]

And then talk about your craft, talk about your skills or whatever. And it's the same thing with cooking. Like, if you watch those cooking shows, like Chopped or whatever it is. Like, talk about diversity. Those are, like, some of the most diverse shows you'll ever see. Because, again, it's one of those things where it's like, come in the arena and just like, the. The food will speak for itself. The fight will speak for itself. The set will speak for itself.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And since there's no way to steer it any other way than the fight, the set, the food, whatever, will speak for itself, why are we speaking about it? It's weird, and it's insane that you probably have to walk around with an endless loop of these people asking your questions. I'm a white, heterosexual male, so I don't have to answer any of those questions.

[Ali Wong]

Well, and it's a lot of the.

[Adam Carolla]

Question is, why are you trying to hold Ali down? Would be my question.

[Ali Wong]

It's also, like, sometimes a lot of Asian people ask me those questions, too. And I'm like, like, lift yourselves up, people, and just, like, ask better questions. Or, like, don't think of yourself as that. Like, go out. Stop thinking about, you know, like, how your race influences your art and just do. Just create shit. You know what I mean? Just get over the analyzing and go out and create shit. And don't keep gathering advice about how to carve a path for yourself and how to find a safe place to perform. Just go do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen to me crying.

[Mike August]

We're never letting her go.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Well, this is why. This is what Upsets me about when politicians start explaining to everybody how it just can't be done, not in our society. That's why it drives me nuts. Like, you're sending the worst message you could ever send to your constituency, which is not an even playing field. Not gonna work. Here's why it's not gonna work. That is an insane and a more dangerous message than any message you could possibly think to send. It's all the message should be. Everyone's different. Everyone has reasons why they can't achieve. But that's no reason and no excuse. Get out there, the sun shining. Get busy. All right, that's Ali's interview from episode 1816. Coming up for our final clip today, we have Adam Carillo Show, 2412, Christy Bishop, Mike August, Gina Grant, Brian bishop, September of 2018. We got Christie's commercial grade one of the all time great segments of the show. So, Christy, thanks for joining us.

[Brian Bishop]

Her first cruise ever.

[Adam Carolla]

Her first cruise ever. Oh, that's right, yeah, ever. And you're enjoying yourself. You got a nice massage, got a lot of champagne.

[Christy Bishop]

Nice massage, a good hangover going.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I saw you guys walking around yesterday about 11:30 in the morning with a nice flute of champagne.

[Mike August]

I haven't seen you guys without a drink in your hand.

[Adam Carolla]

Doesn't matter. What now the massage. I'm curious about this, Brian. Any thoughts about whether the masseuse is male or female?

[Brian Bishop]

For me or for her?

[Adam Carolla]

As it pertains to your wife, your lady.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a little better when it's female, but I don't have that much anxiety about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

But give me the choice. Given the choice, I was just. I'm sure not going to be upset about it. You know, it's kind of like. What's the. It's like the.

[Adam Carolla]

It's.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like the, the women who consider if. I know women who consider it cheating if their boyfriends or husbands go on a bachelor party to a strip club. You know, I'm not to that level. Yeah, that's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. So, yeah, I would prefer it, you know, given all things being equal, but if it's the only thing she can.

[Mike August]

Do, she's not getting a rub and tug.

[Christy Bishop]

Not gonna lie.

[Adam Carolla]

They're putting your hands on.

[Christy Bishop]

She went places that they don't normally go. And I was sitting there, I was laying there. She was Scottish, she was lovely, wonderful. And I'm like. I look close to the V. Yeah. Like a flip up of the towel. Because, like, they typically don't. They kind of tuck it in really tightly. This was a clip, a flip up to see like, kind of what was happening. And I was like, you just. You just did the flip, right? You did the towel flip. What the fuck? So then for 10 minutes I laid there, like, should I say something? Should I just. No, no, no. Just shut up. Shut up. You're fine. Yeah, Feels a little weird.

[Adam Carolla]

Not good. If it's a dude.

[Christy Bishop]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

So I think in terms of that kind of stuff, like a gynecologist, we hope for a woman first and second, we hope for an Asian man or a man with some nationality that we don't completely identify with or we might not run into in a fantasy football draft.

[Brian Bishop]

Old man is fine. Young, good looking dude is way at the bottom of the list.

[Mike August]

Gay man.

[Christy Bishop]

Yeah, but gay is fine.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, gay is fine.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't consider that a man.

[Adam Carolla]

Are there a lot of gay gynecologists?

[Brian Bishop]

No, they're repulsed by that.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna. They certainly don't take their work home with them, that's for damn sure.

[Brian Bishop]

Well done.

[Adam Carolla]

So, Chrissy, so you are your title once again. Just because it's not in front of me. Professionally.

[Christy Bishop]

Professionally. So general manager for an advertising agency. And I also run strategic planning and analytics or the same.

[Adam Carolla]

So you see a lot of campaigns, you guys discuss your own campaigns, you discuss others, camp other campaigns. Some you go, oh, that's a strong campaign. That's great. I wish we thought of that. Others are like, God, that is weak. I can't believe that got off the ground. Yep. You have that opinion like I have about houses because I'm a carpenter. When I walk in, I have thought.

[Christy Bishop]

Yes, it's the behind the scenes.

[Adam Carolla]

You have. You have thoughts. All right, so I'm very interested in commercials and sort of breaking down the game film. I study them as well as Dawson. I think Dawson and me are the last guys to really just watch commercials. I think everyone else, when I tell them about a commercial, they go, oh, who even. Why, you just fast forward, power through it. I don't even watch them anymore, but I always watch commercials.

[Brian Bishop]

If it wasn't for live sports, I probably would never see a commercial.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I tape almost everything and I fast forward. But when something pops up that catches my eye, I stop and I go back and I study it and then I study it again and I study again. And then whoever's in the room with me leaves and goes, fucking asshole. I can't watch shows with you, so I'm Curious why Dawson watches commercials over and over again. It feels very un Dawson to me. Like, it doesn't. I feel like when I'm going to pitch these commercials to Dawson, he's going to go, oh, fuck, who cares? I don't even watch that shit. Like, I'm fast forwarding that stuff. But you do watch commercials. Why? I mean, it's the whole sign of the time. Sign of the times. That's all right. I don't want to put you on, Mike. But Dawson, Dawson focuses on that. I like that. All right, then for Christy, it's kind of. Kind of her job.

[Christy Bishop]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

So she can quickly ascertain what's going on on. And not just a commercial, but like, we'll sit around and talk about commercials if we see one during, you know, a show or a live sporting event. And she can quickly ascertain what was going on in the thought process behind the ad campaign.

[Christy Bishop]

It's called a reverse brief. Basically, if you had to give the assignment, if the client was giving the assignment to the agency, it's like, ideally, one line and you're like, okay, this is the reverse brief. This is what they asked for. We'll go through some of that.

[Adam Carolla]

The ones that bother me the most are the ones that are confusing. Like the McDonald's Egg McMuffin commercial. We got the red haired girl driving the minivan and then the red haired girl on the Harley. Is that her alter ego who gets to have breakfast sandwiches? It's like, no, it's just supposed to be two different people. It's like, why'd you hire two actresses that look exactly the same with red goddamn hair? Just hire a black chick to ride the minivan and ride the hog and then she'll drive the minivan. It's like, because all I. Then we'd stop it and have arguments like, no, that's her. No, that's not her.

[Christy Bishop]

There's so many people behind the scenes arguing about it. Or like, I like this actress. I want this person or my daughter.

[David Alan Grier]

Really.

[Adam Carolla]

How do you end up with two redheads with green eyes that are diminutive playing this weird alter ego role? Like, she stops and she looks at her at the stoplight. She looks at her at the stoplight and you're like, this. Does she wish she wasn't a mom and she had the freedom to get her egg McMuffin and hit the open highway? Why would you enter?

[Mike August]

That's why you have to bring calories.

[Adam Carolla]

Why are you bringing that up? Why are you making me think about this? You can have an Asian woman. You're always going for this diversity bs. Why not just go with a different woman or man or whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a campaign that's been running for years that messed that up. I think it's. I think it's esurance. But whoever it is, it's like we treat you like you treat you. And they call. Remember, the person calls customer service, they answer the phone. But the first spot, the first one was a girl on her twin sister answered the phone and it completely messed everything up.

[Christy Bishop]

That's so confusing.

[Brian Bishop]

That's so against the message.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Brian Bishop]

This is brilliant. We treat you like you treat you. Oh, makes sense.

[Christy Bishop]

Except not, right?

[Adam Carolla]

I always have to watch that and try to figure out, is that the same sassy black chick or is it another sassy black chick? But. But the first one did it with a twin. Yeah, Cuz remember she called. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

The girl even addressed like, like how, how nice. She was on the phone and she.

[Christy Bishop]

Was like, Deborah, Yeah, it's you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Why are you screw own campaign? The McDonald's one drove me insane.

[Mike August]

Speaking of McDonald's, I have to know if you guys remember this commercial. I think it was from the 90s. And Christy, I would love to know if you thought this was the right choice. Do you remember the tug at your heartstrings? McDonald's commercial. They had a boy with down syndrome, an adult, and he was doing the voiceover and he was saying how his whole life, you know, he struggled and people have need to help him. And that was. It was a monologue, this tear jerking, heartbreaking monologue. And at the very end, Bobby Bar comes flying in.

[Adam Carolla]

Whack. Get over it.

[Mike August]

He spins around in that patented brown polyester McDonald's ghee and says, now I finally get to say, welcome to McDonald's, may I help you? And everyone was a puddle of tears.

[Christy Bishop]

I do not remember.

[Mike August]

Do you remember?

[Brian Bishop]

I do. Because I was hard to remember that.

[Adam Carolla]

I remember that one too. And I remember the best McDonald's is when they just go full urban. Like they go, I own my own McDonald's in the neighborhood. Then show the happy black people, like walking in and out.

[Brian Bishop]

Christy knows they have urban, not sections, but you know, the, the departments, the cult, the cultural.

[Christy Bishop]

Multicultural.

[Brian Bishop]

Multicultural.

[Christy Bishop]

Multicultural marketing. Yes, the urban department.

[Adam Carolla]

Mike, use your phone. Find out how old Bobby Barrasini is. All right, so our first commercial is. Well, we have Nike, we have the Toyota truck one. And then what was the first one? Pizza Hut. That one drove me insane. I was watching this commercial. They had Maya Angelou sound alike doing this poem about lines and dividing. And it was a very sort of Trump 2018 race, dividing, coming together, blah, blah, blah. And not till the end did we find out it was about pizza.

[Brian Bishop]

That was quite a reveal.

[Mike August]

It didn't even seem like a.

[Adam Carolla]

And it was also. Also, you gotta think of where this is playing. This is playing during Monday Night Football. Like this.

[Christy Bishop]

The pizza sponsor, they took over for Papa John's.

[Brian Bishop]

I should point out Christy has notes upon notes. She's gonna.

[Mike August]

She did a reason she came with a doshi.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't get the good vibes for the Monday night dudes, but. All right, we'll play the commercial. Sir, lines can separate us. The line of scrimmage separates this team from that. Team Gold lines separate victory from defeat. Yard lines separate how far we've come.

[Christy Bishop]

From how far we have to go.

[Adam Carolla]

But if we look beyond the lines.

[Christy Bishop]

All that's left is common ground.

[Brian Bishop]

Interracial, gay, intergacial.

[Mike August]

Okay, Christy was just feverishly shaking her head. Why was that?

[Christy Bishop]

It's like two different commercials in one. So when I saw it for the first time, I was like, oh, this actually could be good. Maybe this will end. Like, it's espn, right? They're like, oh, that. We're building to something. And then it's like, pizza. Everybody loves pizza. Everybody loves football. Bring them together. And I'm like, wait, you had something awesome, and then you just completely cut away. And by the way, I did a little bit of reading after I watched it, and it's. There are undertones of racial inequality in this or racial equality. I'm like, no, no, it's not just because all the football players happen to be African American. Then the guy who gets pizza delivered to his house is white. We're not talking about racial equality. You're just bringing people together over pizza. But it's confusing, and it doesn't really stand for anything. That's the problem. People will forget it.

[Adam Carolla]

How many of these commercials are made sort of to make everyone happy in house or even to make the client happy, but not really. Are we moving units of pizza? Like, in my thing, it's always like, you tell me, too large, $9.99, two toppings, and I'm out the door. But this doesn't. It doesn't make me want pizza. It just makes me nod my head.

[Christy Bishop]

And go, yeah, well, that's good for this one. So if we can get. I'll get nerdy for a second. So this is called a brand ad. It's just introducing Pizza Hut as a brand. And the Pizza Hut just GSD and M, which is an agency in Austin, they just won the Pizza Hut business. It's like $300 million. This is their debut commercial with them. So it took a month to make. And the new chief brand officer at Pizza Hut is saying, we want to share a message of unity and inclusiveness and fun. And pizza is all of those things and so is football. That's the whole message in the ad.

[Adam Carolla]

So can we. So is this a statement or a safe statement? So this was week one of Monday Night Football. Yes. So this is our. Hey, everybody, we're here. We got good vibes. We love everybody. We don't need to sell any pizza. We just want you just. Just go ahead and sniff my hand, all you dogs, and know that we're good. We're not going to hurt you. Not Bobby Barasini. I'm not going to raise a hand. And then as we get to week 11, it'll be extra cheese in the crust, double crust. Three pizzas in under eight minutes. You're home in your mouth. Yes. Right. So this is our soft launch. Kind of everyone get to know who we are.

[Christy Bishop]

It's a soft sell. It's a total software off sell. It's a brand ad. The thing is, it's. They don't stand for anything. So there's a. There's a metric in research for. We actually do measure a lot of stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Second one, I'll let you continue. But Papa John, who used to inhabit this throne, has been ousted because of a kind of a racial thing.

[Christy Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So are they going, hey, the last guy, this guy was a monster. And now we're coming here. We ain't no Papa John over here. We love everybody. And then we'll get into selling units later. Like, some of this is based on Papa John's.

[Christy Bishop]

Oh, yeah, they came in right the last minute and they were right. So. But the issue is no one's going to remember that this is Pizza Hut. You're barely going to remember. It's pizza, first of all. So we measure two things. One is called recall. So it's how do you remember the ad? The second thing is attribution. So who's the ad for? I mean, I honestly, I don't know. I haven't seen research on it. I don't think anyone would remember that this is A for pizza or B for Pizza Hut. Yeah, you're still going to remember Papa John's because they were there for years and years. They a presence.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Christy Bishop]

And they also have a. A total issue at the very end.

[Mike August]

I think, Brian, I think you may have said that when we first saw the commercial and stopped it before the reveal. I absolutely agree with you. You're like, is this like a merit trade or something? It seemed very financial. It didn't seem like a food commercial.

[Christy Bishop]

But it was building to something kind of cool. And then it was like. Like, no, no. Done. Right. And here's some pizza.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. So not effective, but not trying to be effective, per se.

[Christy Bishop]

Introduce the brand.

[Adam Carolla]

Just getting. We need our first Monday Night Football. We want good vibes everywhere. No complaints. And then we'll start getting into moving units as the season wears up.

[Christy Bishop]

It's not offensive. Totally generic. Will people remember it? Maybe not. It's a totally okay ad. But when you're spending millions of dollars on 30 seconds, you need to make it count.

[Mike August]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Papa John. Papa John Phillips was the mamas and the papas guy. Was he not that. Look that up. That's Papa John, right? Phillips.

[Brian Bishop]

Mackenzie Phillips, Dad.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. Also assorted past consensual sex with his adult daughter and a monkey, which is weird.

[Mike August]

And at that point, what does consensual mean when you've brainwashed your daughter into thinking that that's okay.

[Brian Bishop]

What was her idea?

[Christy Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. But that sort of. In a world of where, you know, like, I remember when Liberace had his young boyfriend and he was getting in plastic surgery to look like him. I remember at the time going, we're not making enough of this. Like, this is much weirder than we're giving it credit for. You know, we have some sort of weird brain where it's like, Papa John Phillips and consensual sex with his adult daughter and Liberace having a boyfriend who's 22 and getting plastic surgery so he looks like himself so he can have sex with himself and Al Franken. It's all about the same thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

This one has a comedian who was goofing off on a C130 transport plate with his hands over a flak jacket. And then there's this guy and that guy. Let's put him in the same category.

[Brian Bishop]

Al, you're out. Get over there. Jared Fogel.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. So not. So not a good spot according to you, Christy, or.

[Christy Bishop]

I think it's just totally innocuous. No one's gonna. It's fine. It's fine. But I think that they could have been a lot harder hitting. They had to choose a direction. They didn't really choose A direction that was just very inoffensive.

[Adam Carolla]

The part that bothered me the most was the line. The line of scrimmage, the line between two teams. They kept putting it on a line which is like the football's not on a line. The line of scrimmage is never like the five yard line or the ten yard line. It's the three yard line, seven yard line. They just kept showing the line. It got me angry.

[Christy Bishop]

I mean, honestly, the obvious way to go with that is to talk about the actual pizza and like art direction. Just show a line and then like back out from it and make it like a cut in the pizza. Yeah, like, oh, here's a line on the football.

[Mike August]

Thank you.

[Christy Bishop]

There's none of that. So maybe by week 11 we'll see lines on the pizza, but then also square pizza.

[Adam Carolla]

The difference between the audience, like, you talked about like urban stuff or multicultural stuff. So like, you know, okay, in the past it was like, oh, malt liquor and, you know, mint cigarettes or whatever it is, and menthol cigarettes, all kinds of stuff. Like, oh, urban stuff. And then there was other stuff or like other people, like women's stuff and guy stuff and stuff like that. So you're doing this commercial, at some point, the red haired guy puts his hand on the shoulder of the black guy and caresses it. What percentage of the Monday Night Football club crowd is finally gay guys on tv? Awesome. Now I want some pizza. Like, what? I get it. Good vibes. But I mean, like, who's your audience? Like, what percentage?

[Christy Bishop]

It's football. People who watch football. That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so why do you need the gay couple represent the multicultural gay pup. No, why do you need the multicultural gay couple in that? Like, isn't this more for, I don't know, the shareholders or the people you work with or the people Madison Avenue? Like, you don't go. We have a large percentage of multicultural gay couples watching Monday Night Football. Or a large percentage of people who think there should be more multicultural gay couples. They're not represented at all in the audience of Monday Night Football. So why in the commercial if not.

[Christy Bishop]

Because it's about dividing. So if I had to reverse brief, it would be like, the world is divided. Let's focus on what brings us together and what are our similarities. And whether you're gay, whether you're straight, whether you're white, whether you're black, whether you're young, whether you're old, whatever, whether you watch football or you don't. You love pizza.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, all right. But if you Hate gay people. And you like, Monday night, then you're gonna be mad at Pizza Hut. All right. Well, it's kind of weird. I mean, if you really think about the message. So the message more and more is, you know, this country's divided and there's hate everywhere and there's dog whistles and, you know, we're getting the base fired up and everyone is homophobic and xenophobic and blah, blah, blah. If that was, like, really the case, like, if you went like, hey, man, half the people voted for Trump and that means half the country is basically racist or homophobic or whatever, why are we weaving in so much of it into our commercials? Like, wouldn't you be going, hey, you're going to piss off half the country? Like, I don't think they think it's that. I think it's more rhetoric. But what I'm saying is it's a weird thing to say. This is who we are as a country, and then weave this. Like, I've not seen, like, the Islamic Pizza Hut commercials, but I guess they don't have, like, gay guys, like, putting their arms on each other because they go like, hey, you're going to piss off this constituency. Like, there's an angry crowd here.

[Christy Bishop]

I think we say soft sell. It's just like you said, it's a soft, soft sell for everything. Trying to appeal to everybody.

[Adam Carolla]

We say we're closed off and angry and bigoted, but if we were really that way, every commercial wouldn't be what it is. All right, sorry. Thank you. What's next? Now we have the. This is the new Nike. Oh, the new Nike. I haven't even seen this one. This is about two minutes long, so just stop it. Whenever. This is the.

[Mike August]

The director's cut, the full.

[Adam Carolla]

Screen. People say your dreams are crazy if they laugh at what you think you can do. Ooh, guy with no legs beating another kid. You have feelings about that way. I don't like it. I feel bad for the kids that got beat. Understand is that calling a dream crazy is not insult. I like the big wave rhyme. It's a compliment. Oh, is this. Is this Colin? Try to be the fastest school or the fastest in the world? Be the fastest ever. Don't picture yourself wearing OBJ's jersey. Picture OBJ wearing yours. Don't settle for homecoming. OBJ or linebacker. Yeah, I know. Think about that for a second. What's a. What's this? 120 pounds, 9th President Iron man after beating a brain tumor. Don't believe you have to be like, Anybody? Yeah. To be somebody. If you're born a refugee, don't let it stop you from playing soccer. That's all you do. What are you talking about? Don't be. That's why they invented soccer, for refugees. Be bigger than basketball. Basketball? Yeah. Give me the trash can. I gotta heave. Even if it means sacrificing everything. When they talk about the greatest team in the history of the sport, make sure it's your team. If you have only one hand. All right.

[Mike August]

Oh, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Keep going.

[Christy Bishop]

You're almost.

[Adam Carolla]

Come on.

[Christy Bishop]

You almost made it at the highest level.

[Adam Carolla]

If you're a girl from Compton, don't just be. Become a tennis player. Become the greatest athlete ever. Yeah, that's more like it. So don't ask if your dreams are crazy. Ask if they're crazy enough. None of this means anything to all the losers that are watching this. They're all gonna flounder. It's horrible.

[Christy Bishop]

I hate it.

[Adam Carolla]

I hate it because I wish.

[Christy Bishop]

Get my.

[Adam Carolla]

I wish night. Think he meant one second of any of this. It's. It all. It all just feels like they're just.

[Christy Bishop]

Just blowhard pulling the tire iron out from my foot.

[Adam Carolla]

I hate all this because I hate everyone who's in power and everyone is living their dreams. Everyone. That's why everyone's such a shitty employee now, because they all think they're gonna do something.

[Christy Bishop]

I love this ad.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a great ad, but it's just more just jacking off into a ceiling fan. It's like. It's not.

[Christy Bishop]

They're taking a stand. The granddaddy of football, the sponsor of NFL, chose a side. That's amazing. They chose. I've been waiting.

[Adam Carolla]

Waiting.

[Christy Bishop]

Listen, like, this is political, actually. It's not polarizing. It's controversial. I get it, but everyone's talking about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Bishop]

I mean, people are burning their New Balances because they think they're Nikes and putting them on YouTube. I'm like, what the. This is how invested. Look, I will never buy another Nike. Here's my fucking New Balance in the Pile of Fire. All right, good. Good for you. But I've been waiting for. It's an old man who was holding it over his trash can. He's like, never again.

[David Alan Grier]

Whatever.

[Christy Bishop]

I've been waiting for someone to pick up Colin.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a great idea. Don't. Don't get me wrong. It's all based on bullshit. The whole Colin Kaepernick thing's based on bullshit. It's all fucking lie. And this is more bullshit. But it's great. What he's doing is based on nothing and a lie. He's not a hero and it's all bullshit.

[Mike August]

But that being said, it's a good.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's bullshit. I don't know what you want me to do. It's like his whole thing is based on a lie. Insane. But good for him. Good for nice. You know, we're not here to debate whether he's right or wrong. We're here to debate whether it's a good campaign or not. It's a good campaign. I just. I don't like the empowering of everything. I don't like all this like you do it. You would. It's great for that.

[Brian Bishop]

You're in the wrong era, buddy.

[Adam Carolla]

They make a ton. They are making a army of horrible people based on this. It's not as bad in there. Such fucking blowhards. I wish they cared. Like, I wish Nike. I wish I thought they cared about anything but money. But this is great.

[Mike August]

And you made a great point about. I believe it was another Nike campaign when they paraded all these athletes that were women and say, like, why don't we get paid? Where are our sponsorships? I don't know. Nike, why aren't you doing something about it?

[Adam Carolla]

They've never seen that commercial online. And somebody must have burned it because it was like, I sweat, I bleed, I work. How come I don't get the deal that Michael Jordan gets? Or I sweat? It's all the question. It's a good question. But Nike, it's your commercial. So go ahead and give Cheryl swoop.

[Mike August]

You could change it like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Give her 5 million a year and 100 million a year for a shoe commercial. Like, you could change it. It was a crazy commercial to make because you. Nike at the time was the endorser of all these big contracts. Idea that they would make this commercial.

[Christy Bishop]

Well, but this one's different. So if we just would be technical about it. All the shit out to the side. This is an evolution of just do it. So just do it turns into dream crazy. And the crazier you can dream, the bigger the better.

[Adam Carolla]

Whatever. That's the second one.

[Christy Bishop]

No, this one is all about dream crazy.

[Mike August]

He says, don't ask if your dreams are crazy.

[Christy Bishop]

Ask if they're crazy enough. So the whole thing's called dream crazy. And you've got all these people in there doing these impossible things and actually believe. The woman in the wheelchair who's the basketball player. She's fairly famous. And I can't recall her name. At the moment, he's a figurehead. I would guess he's not going to continue in the campaign. He's just the. Hey, here's a lightning rod. Let's get everyone watching.

[Mike August]

He's a grand marshal.

[Christy Bishop]

He's a grand marshal. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Then they'll start focusing on other subjects. Exactly.

[Christy Bishop]

Right. In other stories. So he's like Colonel Sanders.

[Adam Carolla]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Christy Bishop]

So that's my guess. But the, the target for this are 18 to 29 year old men and women. Both. Well, I'm not gonna say men. People who are looking for a purpose in a brand, looking for purpose and product, and they want something to believe in. You can't believe in anything bigger than dream crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Christy Bishop]

Then you got Pizza Hut. Like, oh, football's nice. Pizza's nice. This is like fucking big. Dream huge. The crazier the better. And if you want to do that, buy Nike.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a good, it's a good ad.

[Christy Bishop]

It's brilliant. The strategy is brilliant. Everything's brilliant. Like it's. Yeah. And I know people are gonna. Yeah, I've had like 10 or 15 people on the cruise ask me about this and what I think, I'm like, wait for the show. But I mean, it's polarizing. It's really polarizing.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's okay because it's a good campaign. I just think it's all based on bullshit. And Kaepernick's a bullshitter too, but other.

[Brian Bishop]

Than that, you know, they say, first.

[Adam Carolla]

Off, isn't the guy half white? Wasn't he like adopted by white people and all that shit? Like this whole fucking victim card thing is way the fuck over the shark in terms of what we're doing as a society. But I hear he's a good guy. He's on the wrong side of the issue and he's creating. It's irresponsible. His message is wildly irresponsible. He's going to get people hurt, but other than that, he's a dear friend. I gotta deal with Mark Garrigan. It's just, it's a bullshit. He's full of shit. He's fucking lying. The whole thing is a lie. It's. It's insane. If you look at the numbers, it doesn't exist. He's creating a problem that he has created or he's, he's perpetuating a problem.

[Christy Bishop]

And on the other side of that, you have all of these people who find him hugely inspirational because he went against the grain and he kept doing it, kept doing it kept.

[Adam Carolla]

All those people are going to be losers.

[Christy Bishop]

They're all buying Nike, right?

[Adam Carolla]

But nothing's going to work for any of those people. Those people are like, I'm going to open my own casino because Colin said, be a good idea. I'm dropping out of the ninth grade. I'm going to open my own casino. But it's awesome.

[Brian Bishop]

Sounds awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

It's awesome.

[Brian Bishop]

You know the phrase, you know, history is written by the victors. I mean, history is. This is. Colin Kaepernick has won. Like he. In terms of, you know, the, the NFL Colin Kaepernick thing. This is the knockout blow. This is the NFL has a boss and it's Budweiser and Nike and whoever else, you know, Chevy, whoever's paying the bills. The boss. The boss who's paying the bills. Nike chose Colin Kaepernick. Like, that's the knockout punch.

[Adam Carolla]

It's over. No, he's definitely won. He won. Everyone watching the commercial is going to lose, right? Right or wrong. And he's on the wrong side and he's sending a message that's perpetuating something that's insanely dangerous to all the people that are watching, especially of color. But other than that. Good hammer that check.

[Christy Bishop]

The first 10 seconds of that ad are hard to watch is because that guy's nuts get railed so hard as he falls off the skateboard and I'm.

[Mike August]

Like, oh, that's tough.

[Christy Bishop]

It's horrible. But then it picks up from there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, at least that guy can't have kids. We don't want skateboarders having kids. All right, let me tell you about Mad Men. We got one more commercial to go. Medmen. Today's cannabis consumers everywhere, everyone. Let's drop the labels. At Medmen. You're an executive, you're a dad, you're a customer. There's something for everyone, whether you're new to the cannabis or familiar, like lotions, edibles, vape pens, bath bombs and more. Touch screens that allow you to view in depth product info and red shirted staff that's incredibly knowledgeable and puts you at ease. So whatever you need, whatever you're looking for out of life, you head over to Medmen. You check out one of their 14 retail locations in LA, Orange County, San Diego. And coming soon, awesome new store on the Las Vegas strip, everyone. So visit medmen.com and find the store nearest you at Medmen. Right, Dawson. And for our listeners, visit any med men and mention Adam Kramer at checkout for $10 off your order. Keep out of Reach of children for use. For use only by adults 21 years of age or older. Check out medmen today. All right, we got one more spot. This one is a little more visual. Yeah, this is the Toyota. Toyota truck one, which was kind of fun.

[Mike August]

I'm already intrigued.

[Adam Carolla]

I got Chuck Norris. Here we go. Here we go. Center block in half.

[David Alan Grier]

Can you sign my Tacoma?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll be glad to. Signs a guy's truck. Truck becomes famous. Yeah, there's a lot of, like, stunt driver, professional driver. Close course. Do not attempt magical winch.

[Christy Bishop]

Not available Dramatization.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that. This is more than just insane. Do not attempt everything. We have to put on everything all the time.

[Mike August]

Did it really say do not attempt under all those?

[Christy Bishop]

Every single one. Well, so this is a. This is a legal department's nightmare, this ad, because they're basically the fun police. So anytime you have to, you put together an ad, the very last minute you go through legal, and they're like, no, you can't do this. Can't do this, can't do this. Can't say that. Can't show this. This one. God bless that legal team because they let it all go through. I mean, the car surfing. The car's doing hand to hand combat.

[Brian Bishop]

You mentioned, you mentioned to me that either either the legal team took a day off or the CEO pushed it through.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Christy Bishop]

Someone with clout or, I mean, again, God bless them. They had a fun legal team.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I've seen a bunch of insane commercials. It's just, just, it's. But you tell me, like, I've seen the one where, like, the Humvee drove off the Santa Monica pier and then turned into a submarine and went under water. And it seems to me like they do do whatever you want, but we must put a thing at the bottom that says, this is not real. So you can go to outer space in your Mini Cooper. We just need to write, you can't go to outer space in your Mini Cooper on the bottom.

[Christy Bishop]

It's the fun police all the time. It makes me crazy. But there's a difference between demonstration ads where you see like a tow truck towing, you know, like this cruise ship, and it's like, oh, it actually has that capability and they claim it versus a dramatization or fictionalization, which every single thing, every single.

[Mike August]

Can't we just kind of assume that a truck can't surf.

[Christy Bishop]

Don't ever assume. Assume, as my dad taught me, makes an asset ass out of you and me. Got it.

[Adam Carolla]

The one that drove me the most nuts is I It as sad as it is like, I will make this conceit that, well, if you take the Humvee and you drive down the pier and you blow through the railing at the end of the pier and it goes underwater, you're gonna die. It's not gonna turn into a submarine.

[Brian Bishop]

Room service.

[Mike August]

My room service is here. My in room massage is here.

[Christy Bishop]

More donuts.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody's out there anyway. Who's gonna turn my towel to the shape of a reindeer?

[Christy Bishop]

That's my favorite part.

[Mike August]

It really is great.

[Adam Carolla]

But so like, that's kind of like. I get it, but maybe we need to prevent one moron from thinking they can drive off the end of the pier. I don't appreciate it, I don't wish it, but it's. What I mean is it's possible for me to get in a Humvee and to go down to a pier and kill yourself and to drive it off the end of the pier. There are other ones where they're going to outer space. And the famous one that always drove me nuts, which was the Subaru commercial where all the cars were driving around on their front wheels, leaned up at 45 degrees like, hey, we're not. We're all wheel drive. We're not just front wheel. And we're driving around wheels where you could try all you want. You can't do that in your car. And if you can't do it in your car, why do we have to warn you not to do something you can't.

[Mike August]

It's not going to happen.

[Christy Bishop]

Who. It throws it off of a bridge to get the two wheels and then they get sued and they go out.

[Mike August]

But nobody that's hurt winning.

[Christy Bishop]

It's not a cause. But it is.

[Adam Carolla]

No, but this one was just everyone driving down the street on their front wheels like you could.

[Christy Bishop]

Impossible.

[Adam Carolla]

You couldn't do it. Like again, driving to the bay, I guess you could do it. You go full 10 Kennedy.

[Christy Bishop]

This is apropos of nothing, but I actually didn't catch the beginning of the ad. I had to watch it three times in order to understand his. Chuck Norris's signature actually turned the car into this like magical action here. I didn't catch that.

[Adam Carolla]

It was kind of a weird. It was weird because I was thinking like, is this the Chuck Norris signature series or was it the Eddie Bowers? Did the signature turn the truck into it or did they just hire the truck? Or it's the truck the new.

[Christy Bishop]

Because it burned. It's like he did a signature and all of a sudden the truck catches Fire. And then it goes through the sequences of action here.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree with you in that I hate it when I have to go back and watch a commercial four times to sort of figure out where that turns out.

[Brian Bishop]

The advertisement loves it.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but that I. I wish they'd spent an extra second and a half on the magical powers of Chuck Norris. And. And there's the Subaru commercial where everyone's driving around on their front and or rear wheels and they're telling you you do not attempt to do this, which is impossible. But. Okay.

[Mike August]

And no disrespect to Chuck Norris, but isn't the whole Chuck Norris thing kind of played out?

[Christy Bishop]

Yeah.

[Mike August]

Isn't that like kind of 10 years ago?

[Christy Bishop]

I think the legal person at Toyota is a huge Chuck Norris.

[Mike August]

Yeah.

[Christy Bishop]

And just his cubicle just plastered with Chuck Norris everything. He's like, push it through. We love it.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. All right, let me tell you about speaking of cars, A true car. And then we'll get the news ready with Gina Grant. True car. Msr. You know what it stands for, but what does it mean? Same goes for invoice list price, dealer price. It's confusing. Introducing TruPrice from TrueCar. Know exactly what you'll pay, including fees and accessories, before you get to the dealership. You'll know your true price is a great price because TrueCar shows you what other people paid for the exact same car you won. Their certified dealers set their price competitively so they can win your business. So if you're ready to buy new, you're ready to buy used. And that's about is always true car. Our own Chris Maxapata did it. He jumped it off the pier right onto the boat because he was running late. But do not attempt. He's a professional stunt driver on a close course. So when you're ready to buy new and you're ready to buy used or used, you visit TrueCar and enjoy a more satisfying and confident car buying experience. Some features not available in all states. That is true car. Christy, thank you so much for joining us.

[Brian Bishop]

Good job, babe.

[Adam Carolla]

We will.

[Christy Bishop]

Thanks for coming off the cruise ship.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks for doing your homework. We love that about you. We'll take a quickie break. We'll come back with Gina Grad and the news. All right, should we do a little news with drink? We don't have the sound effects and everything because we're on a cruise ship now. We've pushed off. We're in the middle of the sea. Gorgeous. It is gorgeous. All right, Gina Grant, some news.

[Mike August]

All right, well, question for you. How big of a deal do you think it is for people to take their dogs to work with them? You think that matters to people these days?

[Adam Carolla]

Matters to whom?

[Mike August]

Well, I'll tell you exactly who it matters to. It matters to millennials. A new survey found that 51% of millennial pet owners say they consider a full on career change if it meant a pet friendly workplace. And 37% of pet owners said they would give up up vacation time and work from home days if their workplace would let them bring their pet with them.

[Brian Bishop]

Christy Christie's still in the room. How many, how many people were in your office?

[Christy Bishop]

Sorry, my office had like 45 people, but okay, so you're 100% right. We had people complain to HR when we said that they couldn't. We had dogs in all the time, but they had a calendar so you had to actually sign your dog up for the days that you wanted. And we had people have fights over whose dog was there more than their dog. And then someone actually tried to expense. What is it, the doggy dick hair. Yeah, no, no, no, the allergy pills. What is it called? The Clin.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, Claritin.

[Christy Bishop]

Because someone, they're allergic to the dogs in the office.

[Mike August]

I think that's Val.

[Adam Carolla]

What are you going to do? I mean, you have to work with dogs. I mean you're an advertising firm, so. That's right. That's right. If you don't like working with dogs, don't get an advertise.

[Christy Bishop]

But yeah, but it was all that, the 20 somethings, early 30 something.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Get a job at a kennel if you don't like dogs. But if you're getting advertising, you got to expect that's, that's, that comes with it.

[Mike August]

And they all have a red vest and they're all emotionally supportive.

[Christy Bishop]

Oh, there he is. Cry and pet them all day long.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I'm not, I'm an atheist. But I do see the value in religion. And as I see religion just sort of going, circling the toilet here, I realize that things like pets being your best friend and your dog being number one in your life, like I don't feel like religious people in the past, they like their dog, but they didn't need the dog to travel with them. Yeah. Either dog. Well, you know, a couple of bad winters and what are you gonna do? But I'm saying, like, is all of this just some sort of weird byproduct of zero religion? Like I, I don't think like how many of these people, what percentage of people you think would be religious or deeply religious or fairly religious who would insist on bringing their fucking dog to work? I don't. I feel like almost zero. I feel like there's a zero thing. Right?

[Christy Bishop]

It was entitlement. It's entitlement. And it's a. I think it's different. It's this wholeness about Tessa. This freaks me out. It's the generation where no one ever told them no.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, yeah, sure.

[Christy Bishop]

Well, that's it. So then they're like, well, why can't I bring my dog to work? Well, those are the rules. Well, we can change the rules. I can bring my dog. My dog should be here.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, but it's me. I want to bring my dog. Right. You or your dog or other people's work. And they can take clarity. But. No, I get that. I get we've ruined everyone with the me and everyone's entitled, but I also feel like it. It's in conjunction with no religion. I feel like none of these. None of these people. I would. I. Can you imagine someone who said, like, oh, I'm. I'm a born again Christian and I bring my dog to work? Like, it doesn't feel right to me. Like, I feel like this is the work.

[Brian Bishop]

It doesn't feel like a lot of.

[Adam Carolla]

Crowd feels like the work of the table.

[Christy Bishop]

Advertising have no soul. So it's.

[Adam Carolla]

That's. That's true. And the more. And then now and as you get into. Like, you'll never. If you work construction, no one brings her fucking dog to work because they're not a bunch of douchebags. They grew up in a world where no was the answer, like, all the time. But if you grow up, if you're doing tech stuff or Silicon Valley stuff or advertising stuff or whatever, you grew up in a world of yes, yes and more. Yes, Prince and princess. So you shall be bringing your dog. Dog.

[Mike August]

Speaking of which, when you're on a ship, no matter how many times you've been on, you have to do a muster drill. You know, you go find your little escape boat and you stand there, whatever. And we had to line up in single file. Did you guys do that? Very militaristic. So I was right behind a woman who actually, I wasn't totally sure where she ended in the dog began.

[Adam Carolla]

Holding a schnauzer.

[Mike August]

Yeah, this woman was very lovely.

[Adam Carolla]

Cannon. Holding a shot like a baby from behind.

[Mike August]

And she kept offering to have the dog lean back on them and, quote, hug them. And I was. I had a lot of questions for her. I Was like, why did you bring your dog? And does your dog travel with you?

[Brian Bishop]

That's a great picture.

[Mike August]

And apparently heard she goes to airports with dogs to calm passengers down if they've been sitting on the Runway too long. And he has an official medal that he wears that says Canine Good citizen.

[Christy Bishop]

Well, so we saw him in the. Him and her in the cafeteria yesterday, which I thought was wild, but it was by the giant cake that, like this, the shape of the ship that they're feeding 300 people. But she was. It was people in wheelchairs. And so she actually had the dog. And I was like, oh, that's really nice. That's sweet.

[Mike August]

She's very sweet. But this, yeah, this dog, this was. This is this dog's first cruise. So he wasn't thrilled.

[Christy Bishop]

I get it.

[Mike August]

But yeah, I wasn't quite sure. There was no definitive line of where she started and where and where he started. And it was great. Moving on. This is actually a story for Christy and Brian.

[Adam Carolla]

Can't have that when I. I'm gonna get Angry Times three. But when I was shooting Road Hard and we're shooting like the airplane scene and we're inside this like hangar and Van Nuys where they had this like fuselage or an airplane, there was like a 55 year old guy. We had the food spread out, he was preparing. They had the bagels and lox. And it was like the cream cheese and the bagels and the lox and the onion and the tomato. And he was holding his dog, his super hairy fluffy dog, up with his right hand up above all the food.

[Mike August]

Like hovering over the food, over the.

[Adam Carolla]

Food, and with his left hand attempting to kind of make himself a bagel and lox. And it was just like him and his dog. And locks. Like imagine just locks spread out and like think about the hair. They're magnets for hair locks. Oh, my.

[David Alan Grier]

Iffy.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyway, tomatoes, like cut in half. Like, somebody said, hey, this locks, this lock, those locks. Eye locks open, open, tomato slices open, you know, onion slices, cream cheese. Out in a warehouse for 20 minutes on an open table. He'd be like, it's a little iffy. But now this guy's holding a dog.

[Mike August]

Let's shake a dog over it.

[Adam Carolla]

And everyone. And there are two things that happen in this that drove me insane. One is, everyone is just watching this guy do this. And I just yelled, hey. And he's like, huh? And I was like, put your dog down. Like, nobody wants your fucking dogs over the fucking locks. And by the way, how can you make bagels and locks with, like, one fucking hand.

[Brian Bishop]

Hollywood diva.

[Adam Carolla]

And then who's the guy used to work with us who used to get everything wrong all the time? Michael. Michael. He would just constantly say things that were wrong all the time. That's all he said, was things that were wrong. Immediately volunteer things that were wrong. And so I yelled at him, hey, you. And he's like, huh? I'm like, put your goddamn dog down. People are eating. And he was like, all right. He put his dog down. And then Altier, like, leaned over to me. He goes, that guy is a guy who wrangles the dog that you're using in the next scene on the airplane, when the dog's on the airplane. And I was like, oh, now I got a. This guy's got to come. Is he pissed? Is he leaving with his dog? We need the dog. We're shooting. He's going to bring his dog over, like, in the next scene. I'm going go.

[David Alan Grier]

Oh, hey.

[Adam Carolla]

Turned out this was not that guy. That was another dog. Altier had no idea what he was talking about, as per usual, but volunteered it immediately anyway. So over two, but yes, a dog being held over a table of bagels and locks everybody. Awesome. Awesome. Nobody likes your fucking dog. Leave it at home unless its name is Philly Cheesesteak. And then it brings joy to everyone who sees him.

[Mike August]

All right, well, speaking of food, there's a program called Traveling Spoon that allows vacationers to experience the unique foods of places around the world by allowing them to enjoy these foods in people's homes. It's Airbnb for food. It's not a restaurant. You just go and eat dinner over there. Hesitant to eat in a stranger's home. Well, Traveling Spoon says it makes safety a top priority for travelers and hosts. For example, each host goes through a detailed application process and three rounds of interviews before getting selected. And Traveling Spoon employees personally eat at the home of prospective hosts, making sure they're following all food safety regulations. Adam, I think you'd be fine with this.

[Adam Carolla]

I would, but the eye contact would be weird. You know, that's a real sitting at the table. And you'd be making, like, small talk.

[Mike August]

Let's say grace.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And there'd be pictures on the mantle.

[Brian Bishop]

You have to address.

[Mike August]

That.

[Adam Carolla]

There'd be some sad. Well, our youngest was thrown by a horse, so she's. We. Well, she's here. She's just unable to eat with us. I could be like, oh, okay, well, there you go.

[Christy Bishop]

Like, empty chair with the frame.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll bring her we'll bring her food in. Or put. Put it in the Cuisinart so she can suck it through a crazy straw. There'd be, like, a lot of weirdness there. You wouldn't know what to follow up with. Questions I wouldn't want to do.

[Brian Bishop]

The reason Airbnb works is because you look online. Like 200 for a hotel room. That's ridiculous. I'd much rather pay $22 with food. There is a 22 option or a 12 option.

[Gina Grad]

You know what I mean?

[Christy Bishop]

Like, you do Airbnb so you can be alone in someone else's house without them.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, yeah. So you're right. So the. The. A restaurant is essentially what we're talking about. And they're all over the place. So why wouldn't we just let the professionals do the cooking?

[Brian Bishop]

This isn't going to work.

[Mike August]

Well, now, the opposite of this. And I don't know if you've seen this video on Facebook, but it went insane for a while. My personal utopia in Tokyo. There's a ramen bar where you eat alone, you get your own cubicle. They slide the food under a curtain, and then they shut it.

[Christy Bishop]

I've seen this.

[Mike August]

And you just get to eat quietly in your little cubicle. That sounds like heaven.

[Christy Bishop]

It's the only personal space that you actually have in Tokyo. Exactly.

[Mike August]

Well, speaking of different kind of travel packages, here's one. Some hotels are starting to offer sleep vacations. So hotels like the Benjamin in New York City, they're offering these sleep packages where guests pay to get some shuteye. So basically it's triple pane windows, blackout curtains, earplugs, a pillow menu, on demand meditation. Westin hotels offer also offer a sleep well package at many of their locations. This includes a heavenly bed, a spa credit, a late checkout, and a special sleep well food menu. So these hotels are specifically focusing on sleep and upcharging for it.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm already. I'm looking at a new house and I have a sleep. A nap room already picked out. I'm going full nap room.

[Mike August]

Please tell me there's a hammock.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no, can I sleep on my face? I get. There's no such thing as a nap for me that doesn't involve the kids coming home or Natalia bursting in the room, like, yelling, where's mom? Like, I don't know. She's another room napping. Leave me alone. Okay? And then it's like, follow up. And then she'll leave the door open. When she walks out, I'll be like, jesus Christ, can't even shut the goddamn door. And there's arguments and like Phil, once the door gets left open, Phil bounds and will jump on the bed. Like, he'll leap. He doesn't, he doesn't do like a triple jump. He just jumps. And then he gets on the bed and he starts like licking your face and grabbing him and stuff like that. There's no such thing as a free nap at my house, and I want a nap room. And this is smart because we've, we've all, everyone has done the math where it's like, oh, I got a horrible night's sleep. And then the next day, like, I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't remember anything, and I was totally off my game. And yes, you are altered in a deeply negative way. And a good night's sleep, or sometimes just 40 minutes of good, deep sound sleep in the middle of the day, you'll be a new person. You know, it's, it's all there. And if you think about it, well, if this is very important to your health and very important emotionally, psychologically, but from a performance standpoint, like, hey, if you got to go out and do a show that night and you've had a long day and you didn't get any sleep, like, you need that presentation.

[Brian Bishop]

A meeting or whatever, right?

[Christy Bishop]

This show, huge for business travelers, a nap room.

[Adam Carolla]

If you think about like your house, like people go, oh, we got, got a walk in closet. It's a great closet. Or we got a, a mud room. Or people can take their gardening clogs off or whatever it is. A nap room doesn't need to be much bigger than like 4 foot by 8 foot. If you make it pitch black, soundproof everything, go in there and just shut the door and like take a nap. Like how many times you've been on your bed and then you hear the neighbor fire up the whatever, or the kids or the wife or the whatever, like something's going on or whatever. Just why not just have a nap room? If I was building custom houses, I would just build a nap room into, into every room, into every house.

[Mike August]

Well, and if you're, if you're not one of those people that either lives near one of these hotels or has your own nap room in your house. There is one more option. A company is trying to make airports a more relaxing place and change that by offering nap pop pods. They're gonna allow you to chill out, relax, surf, Netflix. Their AirPod sleeping pods, they're private quote, capsule style units designed to be installed in public spaces like airports, hotels, railways, bus stations, shopping centers.

[Adam Carolla]

That'd be awesome at the airport. All right, who's next? Gary Smith. Oh, I know. So Gary just left the pod. All right, Alan Johnson, you're in. Gary, you sure we can't get the lid up open? What's going on? It's welded shut. It's not latched. Well, maybe it's a vapor lock operator error. So you swipe, your guys are gonna be beating off of those pods. That's the problem.

[Mike August]

That's the question. You step in after you swipe, but you get a total private comfort. You watch the TV monitors, you get your air conditioning.

[Christy Bishop]

Here's the power mode.

[Adam Carolla]

Power move. Forget about like owning Geffen's yacht, the power move is like they do at the good steak joint where you have the locker with your wine in it. Yes, I have my own sleeping pod at lax. I have one at Heathrow.

[Brian Bishop]

You got that mask in there?

[Adam Carolla]

I have one at O'Hare.

[Christy Bishop]

Essential oils.

[Adam Carolla]

I just take my own sleeping pod. They're my sleeping pods. I spread them out over about five or six, you know, a couple of.

[Brian Bishop]

Frequently. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

A couple of hubs. And again, lax. And I just go there. It's my. My pod.

[Christy Bishop]

That's good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And we have a whole room of pods. Like alien.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, I love it.

[Christy Bishop]

Well, they have breastfeeding pods now in German airports, like when I went to Frankfurt to Berlin. Pods. Yeah. So why not have nap?

[Mike August]

Can you just kick it in there or do you have to be.

[Christy Bishop]

I didn't go inside.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Christy Bishop]

I was freaked out.

[Adam Carolla]

Of course there has to be. Then that's going to lead to a movie where the guy falls asleep and then there's a huge terrorist event or whatever, and he wakes up, there's smoke everywhere, and he's the last.

[Brian Bishop]

He's the last survivor.

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on? What happened? And then he's got to save the airport, right?

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like I've been asleep for a week.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, this is Adam Cooler Show 2412, Christy Bishop in studio.

[Brian Bishop]

That doesn't for cruel classics this week.

[Adam Carolla]

Until next. Next weekend. Mahalo and get it on.