Live with Jay Mohr from Adam’s Car Show

Summary

Adam Carolla Show — Live with Jay Mohr from Adam’s Car Show

Episode Date: April 21, 2026
Location: Jordan Family Event Center, Santa Ana, CA
Main Guests: Adam Carolla, Jay Mohr, Rudy Pavage
Theme: Comedy banter, car culture, racing, impersonations, and sharp takes on politics and class in America.

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Episode Overview

This lively, laughter-packed live episode takes place at Adam's car museum, surrounded by Paul Newman’s legendary race cars. Adam welcomes comedian Jay Mohr for a fast-paced, uncensored conversation weaving together racing tales, public access TV memories, celebrity impersonations, and searing commentary on American culture and politics. Newsman Rudy Pavage joins in for the “news” segment, sparking further freewheeling, satirical discussion.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jay Mohr’s Racing Heritage & NASCAR Comedy

• Adam jokes that Jay doesn’t know cars, only to be surprised by Jay’s car pedigree—his dad raced SCCA spec racers in the Northeast. Jay shares bittersweet stories about his father, “We never went on vacation as kids because he said we didn’t have any money. But after we all graduated, there’s a race car and a yacht!” (04:26)
• Jay’s experience hosting the NASCAR Awards seven times takes a darkly funny turn as he opens up about struggling with Adderall addiction:

  “Last time didn’t go too well because of my drug addiction. I was so dehydrated on Adderall I needed an IV in the writers room...” (05:09)

• Banter about the roots of NASCAR and substance use:

  Adam: "NASCAR really shouldn’t judge—its origins are from running moonshine. Moonshine, 1941; Adderall, 2017. Is there really a difference?" (05:46)

2. Comedy on Commercials and Daytime TV Ads

• The pair riff endlessly on infomercials, reverse mortgages, and medical warnings:

  Jay: “What’s the deal with the reverse mortgage? ... Joe Namath, I don’t know when his ears got to be the size of radar dishes.” (07:30) Adam: “No, his ears stayed the same. His face got narrower. He looks like an angelfish.” (07:42)

• Adam's tongue-in-cheek pitch to Robert Kennedy Jr. to ban pharma ads:

  “You can advertise your pharmaceuticals on TV, but no more warnings about the side effects. 60 seconds of people dancing on a softball field. Then just say ‘Talk to your doctor.’” (09:38)

3. Classic Prank Calls & Public TV Nostalgia

• Adam reminisces about “Crank Yankers” and absurd prank call scenarios, leading to a confrontation with an enraged recipient after a morbidly obese wife joke (12:12).
• Discusses early public access days, live call-ins, and how a chaotic call-in tape helped jumpstart his career with radio legend Jimmy Kimmel (17:31).

4. Impressions and Comedy Setpieces

• Jay Mohr shines with rapid-fire impersonations: Norm Macdonald, Joe Pesci, Harvey Keitel, and Christopher Walken—wondering what each would sound like if they just won the Indy 500.
  Notable moments:

  Norm Macdonald (24:56): "Oh my god. That took forever. That Penske guy... hey, I got an idea. Seat coolers."
  Joe Pesci (26:13): "Where you gonna put the freakin’ phone book so I can see over your stuttering, freaking—"
  Walken (47:06): “At some point, you have to sell out to corporate. I put my foot on the gas pedal more often than they did.”
  Hilarious riff about racing without brakes and a pit crew made of bats (49:01).

5. Deep Dive: Beach Boys’ “Shutdown” — Car Song Dissection

• Adam and Jay break down the hyper-specific car references in the Beach Boys song “Shutdown,” translating drag-racing technicalities, engine specs, and racing jargon for the crowd:

  Adam: “You gotta love the Beach Boys. This wasn’t a song, it was a Chilton’s guide—literally a manual to rebuild a car in their song.” (35:50)
  Jay: “I can hear the vaginas drying right now.” (35:25)

6. Satire on Hauntings, Ghost Hunters, and Childhood Trauma

• Ghosthunting TV skepticism:

  Adam: “It’s always haunted by an old woman or a young girl who lost her dolly. If someone said, ‘There’s a seven-year-old girl who lost her dolly,’ I’d be like, ‘We’ll talk in the morning.’ But if it’s a gay longshoreman who’s a power top and I’m a belly sleeper—this needs to be addressed.” (42:32)

• Jay’s childhood and Adam's stories about sleeping on one’s arms due to a hippie mother who read too many natural living tips (43:40).

7. Social Commentary: Poor vs. Rich Stereotypes

• Adam’s open disdain for class warfare rhetoric, calling out “poor but proud” mythology:

  "I am uniquely qualified to talk about this because I hung around with poor, lazy people my entire life. I saw exactly how they operate. And then I hung out with rich people. Rich people are better. They work harder, they put more in..." (70:36)

• Discussion of government supermarket schemes (“dynamic pricing”) ridiculed as unworkable, contrasting rich and poor habits in hotels, gyms, and work ethic (72:08).
• Jay adds:

  “Half the room looks like they stormed the Capitol on January 2nd. They wanted to get there before the traffic.” (21:35)

8. Political Riffs and the News

• Adam and Rudy tackle California political grift, Ilhan Omar’s “accounting error” on her net worth, and James Carville advising Democrats to keep radical plans hush-hush (“Just do it, don’t run on it” [85:12]).
• Lampoons “Proud Poor” politics, the irrelevance of pandering politicians like Scott Wiener, and the absurdity of “awareness” over actual improvement:

  Adam: “Just suck dick on your own time and then make good fucking policy. Jesus Christ.” (94:09)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jay Mohr (on NASCAR addiction):
  “I was so dehydrated on Adderall that I needed an IV in the writers room… The NASCAR executives walk in, they just see a comedian hooked up to an IV. Looked like an obvious drug addict.” (05:16)
• Adam Carolla (about pharma ads):
  “Here’s what I would say... 60 seconds of people dancing on a softball field. Then at the end, ‘Talk to your doctor.’ That's it.” (09:38)
• Adam Carolla (on class and work ethic):
  “Rich people are better. They work harder, they put more in, and they're generally more reliable, prompter. They care more. And they're a fuck of a lot more responsible and they take care of their kids.” (70:36)
• Jay Mohr (on reverse mortgage ads):
  “Yeah and what's the deal with the reverse mortgage?... Joe Namath. I don't know when his ears got to be the size of radar dishes.” (07:30)
• Jay Mohr (on Beach Boys lyrics):
  “I can hear the vaginas drying right now.” (35:25)
• Adam Carolla (on ghostly hauntings):
  “They never haunt if they really want to instill fear in you... it'd be like, you know who's haunting my house? A gay longshoreman. And he's a top and I'm a belly sleeper. And this is a situation that needs to be dealt with.” (42:32)
• Adam Carolla (about politicians):
  “Just suck dick on your own time and then make good fucking policy. Jesus Christ.” (94:09)

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Important Timestamps

• Adam & Jay’s racing family stories: 03:59 – 06:13
• Jay’s NASCAR host anecdotes/Addiction: 05:09 – 06:13
• Comedy on TV ads & pharma: 07:30 – 10:25
• Crank Yankers & Prank Calls: 12:12 – 15:46
• Public Access TV memories: 16:37 – 18:41
• Mr. Burcham & KROQ history: 18:41 – 20:12
• Beach Boys “Shutdown” deep dive: 30:44 – 36:17
• Classic Jay Mohr impressions:
  • Norm Macdonald: 24:56 – 25:49
  • Joe Pesci: 26:09 – 27:09
  • Harvey Keitel: 30:07 – 30:44
  • Christopher Walken: 47:06 – 49:57
• Absurd ghost stories: 41:23 – 43:40
• Rich vs. Poor gym habits/social satire: 72:08 – 74:05
• Political grift & NYC ‘public grocery’ plan: 53:04 – 70:36
• Ilhan Omar and Democrat hypocrisy: 80:40 – 84:43
• Scott Wiener/flag and fraud rants: 93:06 – 97:33

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Language: Uncensored, rapid-fire, irreverent, and self-deprecating.
• Energy: Fast, freewheeling, with non-stop banter and sharp comedic riffs.
• Chemistry: Jay Mohr’s improvisational comedy and celebrity impressions blend naturally with Adam’s everyman rants and encyclopedic car knowledge.

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Summary for New Listeners

This unfiltered live show is a prime slice of The Adam Carolla Show’s signature blend: unapologetic humor, car geekery, biting takes on culture and class, and legendary comedic voices. If you like your comedy quick, edgy, and packed with both deep-dives into niche topics (like Beach Boys engine specs) and take-no-prisoners takes on modern life, this episode is a standout example—not to miss.

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Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

All right, in this episode, Jay Moore joins me live at the car museum. Kind of cool. Always funny. Also, Rudy's got the news, and we'll do that right after this. This is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla show. If you care about sports, you care about moments. And right now, they're everywhere. March madness is tightening, and the road to the 2026 World cup soccer is heating up. From the Sweet 16 to international test matches, Betonline is built for fans who don't just watch. They track, study, and stay ahead. College hoops is down to the best of the best. Tighter games, sharper lines, and props that actually matter. At the same time, international football is building toward the biggest tournament in the world. Betonline delivers it all. Live betting, instant updates, and in game odds that move with every possession on the court and every attack on the pitch. The $50,000 Sweet 16 bracket contest is live. A fresh chance to get in, build it right, and take your shot. While the road to 2026 continues to unfold, big moments don't wait. Bet online. The game starts here. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the mindset. Free.

[Jay Moore]

This is the mantra. Free. This is the mindset. Mindset. With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire

[Adam Carolla]

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[Jay Moore]

TV stream now pay. Never.

[Adam Carolla]

This episode of the Adam Carolla show is brought to you by simply safe. From the Jordan family event center in Santa Ana, California. This is the Adam Carolla show. Adam's guest today, Jay Moore and Paul Newman's race cars. Plus the news with Rudy Pavage. And now, Adam Carolla. All right, everybody. Jay Moore has hit the stage. For those listening at home, we're at the Jordan family event center. And that's where all the Newman race cars are. All 13. I gave you guys a tour. Kind of a. Kind of a fun hobby that my kids don't give a about. But I wish my dad had collected something instead of venereal diseases. No, he never had sex with anybody. Jay Moore. I was thinking about coming up here today and talking to you because I realized that there was a movie called Bobby Deerfield. You guys remember the 70s race car movie with Al Pacino?

[Jay Moore]

Yeah. Which one of these is the gas?

[Adam Carolla]

And I thought Al Pacino. It wasn't a big hit. He wasn't really convincing as a race car driver. I Don't think.

[Jay Moore]

How do they fit all these horses under the hood? This crowd needs to wake up.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, get into the mic a little more, Jay. I think that's what. That's what I'm saying. Then I thought to myself, I don't think Jay Moore knows much about racing

[Jay Moore]

or cars, even though my dad raced. Your dad race SCCA Northeast? Like Lime Rock, Bridgehampton, Watkins Glen. He was a spec racer. That's why I always go by.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Jay Moore]

Whatevs. Yeah. Adam, maybe if you brought a fucking bio. You know, this.

[Adam Carolla]

What. What did he race back in the day?

[Jay Moore]

Spec racers.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Jay Moore]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Your dad. I didn't know that about the man.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah, well, we never went on vacation as kids because he said we didn't have any money. And then as soon as all the kids graduated high school, all sudden there was a brand new race car in the driveway and he bought a yacht.

[Adam Carolla]

So your dad, Les Moore, was an actual. No, it's not his first name.

[Jay Moore]

Take it back.

[Adam Carolla]

Be great if his first name was Les.

[Jay Moore]

That's all Willie T. Moore.

[Adam Carolla]

Willie T. Moore. He went out racing after you guys got out of school.

[Jay Moore]

I remember walking the track with him and stuff. Yeah. And he knew Paul Newman, he knew Tom Cruise and all those guys and all those. Mike Joy and him are good friends from nascar.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Jay Moore]

I mean, I hosted the NASCAR awards seven times.

[Adam Carolla]

Seven times?

[Jay Moore]

Seven times. Last time didn't go too well because of my drug addiction.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

I was so dehydrated on Aderall that I needed an IV in the writers room. And in my mind, Adam, I was just showing them how. What lengths I was willing to go to stay in the fight and put on a good show. The NASCAR executives walk in, they just see a comedian hooked up to an iv, and it looked like what it was like. This guy's an obvious drug addict. And I thought I looked like, you know, Willy Loman in there, just like a nice blue collar guy from Jersey trying to get his writing on.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, NASCAR really shouldn't judge because obviously its origins are born from running moonshine, right? Yeah. So moonshine, 1941, Adderall, 2017. I mean, is there really.

[Jay Moore]

You could fit a lot more Adderall in a stock car than you can moonshine.

[Adam Carolla]

You could feed an entire village. Adderall, you could use them as chairs.

[Jay Moore]

By the time you got done, you,

[Adam Carolla]

the trunk of that Hudson Hornet could carry so many pills of Adderall. As a matter of fact, I remember in the Five and Dime would have that competition. You'd have to Guess how many Adderall pills were in the trunk of a Hudson Hornet?

[Jay Moore]

Bring me and I'll guess it to the. To the dot.

[Adam Carolla]

So your dad raced. I did not. I did not know.

[Jay Moore]

Remember me and Danica Patrick? It was on, like, the news that I don't like women because I clowned. I roasted her at the NASCAR Awards. I said, danica, she was sitting right there. I go, danica, I hope you're not uncomfortable tonight. I know you're not used to sitting in the front. And they just did a cutaway of her mean mugging me.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's a good joke.

[Jay Moore]

It was a great joke. I made fun of Jimmy Johnson's stupid face for 10 minutes. Nothing. Now they joke about a woman.

[Adam Carolla]

I like all those Car Shield commercials. She does her in, evidently ice cube or iced tea. You know, they sit around, they go, do you have a car with more than 7 million miles on it? Engine replacement can be $4,100. And then they show poor people talking about getting a free transmission. I don't know. Maybe that stuff's smart. Maybe we should all sign up for it.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah, and what's the deal with the reverse mortgage? Like, that's always on during the day because, you know, I don't work. I just lay around and take naps all day. Yeah, it's always like Joe Namath. I don't know when his ears got to be the size of radar dishes.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, his ears stayed the same. His face got narrower.

[Jay Moore]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, that's.

[Adam Carolla]

He looks like an angelfish now.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah. I can't believe he got aids.

[Adam Carolla]

No, listen, Tom Selleck's greatest role is selling a non. Reverse mortgage.

[Jay Moore]

Oh, it's not. I thought it was reverse mortgage.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know what it is, but it's Tom Selleck's greatest role.

[Jay Moore]

And how about Penn Life Insurance? Oh, yeah, that's a big one, too.

[Adam Carolla]

I. If you. If you watch enough Fox, everything is for either life insurance, reverse mortgages, or some kind of fungus, which I guess awaits all of us one day, or

[Jay Moore]

moderate to severe psoriasis.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the heartbreak of psoriasis.

[Jay Moore]

And they all have show tunes. I have type 2 diabetes, but I manage it well. I used to shit my pants at work.

[Adam Carolla]

I do love it when they're doing a Bunsby Berkeley thing on a softball field.

[Jay Moore]

It's like, what's this got to do with vaginal dryness?

[Adam Carolla]

One of the many side effects, and

[Jay Moore]

in rare cases, death.

[Adam Carolla]

Could we do. Listen, I'm not good friends with Robert Kennedy. Junior. But I do have his phone number.

[Jay Moore]

We should call him.

[Adam Carolla]

I should call him anytime.

[Jay Moore]

You call me anytime.

[Adam Carolla]

Can we. Hold on. Robert, let me pitch this to you.

[Jay Moore]

I'm more. Here's.

[Adam Carolla]

You're getting the vaccine schedule looked at. You've turned the pyramid, the food pyramid upside down. You're getting red dye number 17 out of the Cheetos. Could you do America this favor? Because I know you don't want to allow pharmaceutical advertisements on TV like they do in Europe. Right.

[Jay Moore]

They don't.

[Adam Carolla]

We shouldn't allow it. But listen, here's what I would say, because I know Pfizer and Upjohn and all these. Lilly, all these pharmaceutical companies have pretty powerful lobbies, right? I'll meet you halfway. You can advertise your pharmaceuticals on tv, but no more warnings about the side effects. It's going to be 60 seconds of people dancing on a softball field. And then at the end, you go talk to your doctor. That's it. Not talk to your doctor. And here's what you guys might talk about. Just talk to your doctor. Because they say, talk to your doctor and then they start talking about rectal bleeding.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm trying to eat.

[Jay Moore]

I mean, sorry. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, yeah, just go and talk to your doctor. Like, it always drove me nuts when they had all those wonder cleaning things, you know, the sprays, you know, Remember when you're a kid, they go, works on RVs, works on boats, works on households. And then they go, works on anything. We'll just put that at the beginning. We don't need to go through all the specifics. It works on it said work on it. Talk to your doctor. Done.

[Jay Moore]

And make sure you take a cold

[Adam Carolla]

plunge wearing blue jeans.

[Jay Moore]

How about this? Why don't we get a guy like Chuck somebody on your staff and have them sign up for the reverse mortgage. Have them get the pen life and just send one guy through that never ending buzzsaw like somebody has to do it. We have to know what this all is.

[Adam Carolla]

I like the commercial where the old lady is sitting upstairs and there's a gold mine underneath her house. Yeah, wake up, bitch. You've got equity. And she's sitting at her computer going, what was that? That there's guys mining for gold underneath. They never show the other part of the commercial where a giant sinkhole opens up and the house collapses into it.

[Jay Moore]

Sinkholes are on my agenda. Cold plunges with blue jeans. What happened to that, by the way? His sister was interviewed on cnn and she is the exact same voice you're like your brother, RFK Jr. She's like, don't get me started.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

Like, the whole family, like, I don't know. They gotta breathe. They got, like, a tube to breathe through. I don't know. Yeah, I could have come up with a better joke than that. The whole family got karate chopped in the throat.

[Adam Carolla]

They all got a trach.

[Jay Moore]

I'll get there.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you guys. I don't know why this reminded me of the trach thing, but when I used to do crank anchors, the TV show. Thank you. Thank you. Once in a while, you'd be making a prank call, and the person was so angry that they would never sign off, and you could never use it. And the only time I had a guy on the other line go insane and threatened to kill me over the phone was I was doing a prank call. I was, Mr. Burcham and thank you. Mr. Burcham had a morbidly obese wife, right? And I worked out this whole scenario where she was going to get the gastric bypass surgery, which insurance would cover, but insurance would not cover the ambulance drive from my house to the hospital for her to get the surgery. And even though it was only, like, six miles away, that was going to be like $4,400. So I was calling moving companies, asking if they had a steak bed that we could get my wife in, you know, And I was saying, listen, I'll take her out. I'll take the bay window out of the living room. I can drive a forklift. I'll get her on that stick. I'll get her on that flatbed, and I'll flag her if any part's hanging over, you know, and all you got to do is drive six miles. You get 500 bucks, you know, and most of the guys I talked to were kind of buying it, like, all right, I get it. I get you want to pay 4400 to an ambulance. And I. I told her. I told him I would. If I hit her with a cocktail of, like, Robitussin and nyquil. She'd go under, and we could make her docile. We could move her, and I'd wrap her with. I'd ask if they had bubble wrap or padding, blankets or something, you know, make her comfortable. And they were kind of going along with it. But one guy I could tell was making fun of my fat wife with his buddy at work. So he was like, she's £700. £700? Yeah. Yeah. You want to move her with a truck? Yeah. And I realized my character Realized. And I said. I got really indignant and I said, excuse me, but I'd prefer you not to make fun of fun of my wife. She has a disease. She is morbidly obese. That is a disease. And you are making fun of her. And I appreciate it if you could reel it in a little. And the guy got back on his heels and he goes, no, no, no, no, no, listen, I get it, I get it. I have a five year old son who breathes through a tran Cole, so I understand disability. And I said, well, first off, your son brought that on himself. He was a smoker. My wife is innocent. And this guy just yelled, I'm gonna kill you. Wherever you are, wherever you are, I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna kill you.

[Jay Moore]

That's amazing. What did Bertram offer to pay the moving company instead of in lieu of the 4400 for the ambulance?

[Adam Carolla]

It was, you know, like 400, 500 bucks in Quiznos, you know, like, I mean, this was a scenario that made sense to me. The ambulance would charge X amount moving. You could do it for 3, 400 bucks, no problemo. And I'm bringing lunch. And I had guys agreeing to do it.

[Jay Moore]

We used to watch in New York. They had public access. They had it here in la, too, but public access tv, you know, like Wally George was on it here and stuff. Yeah. And they had these two guys talking sports. A big fat guy and a little guy. Me and my roommate are stoned out of our heads watching this live. And you could call in. And I called in. I'm like, hey, it's Mike in Queens. They're like, hey, what can we do for you? And I go, I was just wondering where you got your shirt. And the big fat guy goes, oh, all my clothing's from. I go, no, no, not you. The little guy. And he goes, I don't know. I go, cuz I thought maybe you blew a gay guy for it. And the guy in real time looks into the camera, goes, your mother got

[Adam Carolla]

me to shake you.

[Jay Moore]

But, like, he's going crazy. We're like, ripping bong. And it's like, we got to bring back live, live public access tv.

[Adam Carolla]

I used to do a show out of Eagle Rock, Public tv. Does anyone go that far back? That. So I used to do a Saturday show called like, ask Mr. Builder Guy or something. It was like Home Improvement with some comedy. And I do it live out of the Eagle Rock Studios. And I saw one of the old tapes recently. The phone number at the end, like, call if you. It's just my home phone number in my apartment in Santa Monica. That. So that. That time I would. I would just call. We just take a look. Live phone calls. And it would just. Most of them were just guys. I'd pick up the phone, I go, hey, what can I help you with? What's your home improvement question? And I just hear, like.

[Jay Moore]

I think.

[Adam Carolla]

I think the record's like 27 before we hung up on him. And then. But that tape, weirdly, a couple years later, I met Jimmy over at kroc, and Jimmy was sort of like, you seem funny, but is there any tape of you doing anything? He was picturing, you know, tonight at the improv or something like that. I said, the only tape I have is this public access thing where there's a potted plant and a guy yells fuck 28 times. And he said, let me check out that tape. And I was like, all right, it's just a public access or whatever. But I showed him that tape must have been 1994. And he was like, it's good. Like, I get it. I get what. I get what you do. And then sort of went to work getting me on KROC after that, which is huge if you're from this neck of the woods, right? Yeah. Hopefully we'll have that doc coming out pretty soon. What was your.

[Jay Moore]

Your first gig at kroc? Were you the sports guy, the weather guy?

[Adam Carolla]

I was Mr. Burcham. The home improvement guy. I was Jimmy. I trained him to fight Michael the maintenance man in a boxing match. And then he. He was trying to get me on the radio, but he didn't have a lot of pull. And they said. He said, what do you do? And I said, I just hang around a crack wise. And he said, well, we don't need that because that's what Kevin and Bean do, so you're gonna have to come up with a character. And I said, I don't really do characters. And he said, well, you better figure it out and then call in Monday. So that's what I figured out. Mr. Burch. Mr. Burcham taught remedial wood at Louis Pasteur Middle School in Monrovia. I worked out a whole life. His dog was named Sawbuck. He had the fat wife. Nick Higgins Staller was his only student. He liked. He hated every other. Every other student in his wood shop.

[Jay Moore]

You'd be good, like, as a spy, as a spook, like, with a cover story. You're good if you remember.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I even found out, you know, where Mr. Burch was from Plentywood, Montana.

[Jay Moore]

Plenty of.

[Adam Carolla]

I went and found it on a map. There's a place called Plentywood, Montana, and that's where Bertram hailed from because he loved woodworking so much.

[Jay Moore]

I was gonna go Wilkes Bar, but we'll go plenty of wood.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, before the smartphones and everything with you kids, you had to like, get out an almanac and look at stuff like it was. It was crazy, right?

[Jay Moore]

Everybody had a big bush.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone had a big bush. And a Thomas guy.

[Jay Moore]

Even guys now don't have it.

[Adam Carolla]

Guys, you got a manscape.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah, no bush.

[Adam Carolla]

It's gotta be rough being a crab these days. You know what I mean? These are lean years for the pubic lice.

[Jay Moore]

You gotta go straight eyebrows. Yeah, it's like Penthouse to crabs. Yeah, Way better view.

[Adam Carolla]

I bet Japan doesn't have much of a crab issue. They're very tiny and they're hairless.

[Jay Moore]

And then who has the worst crab?

[Adam Carolla]

Armenia. Yeah, yeah, the armos. That's a crab laid nation right there. No disrespect. No disrespect.

[Jay Moore]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Just a nation filled with crabs.

[Jay Moore]

All right, Jay, what's the guy to woman ratio here? About a thousand to one.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Jay Moore]

You really pack in your demo, don't you?

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, listen. These dudes are salt of the earth, right? When I say salt, I mean raises your blood pressure and almost free.

[Jay Moore]

Half the room looks like they stormed the Capitol on January 2nd. They want to get there before the traffic.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I. I don't know. I know people must make fun of me for caring as much as I do about these old cars and the

[Jay Moore]

Japanese cars and all that stuff bores me to tears.

[Adam Carolla]

I like it and I will. And I do drive most of them. And it is. You do feel a connection. One thing I forgot to bring up when I was giving one of my 27 tours is there is a good story on this car. Two plus two turbo V6, 300.

[Jay Moore]

I'm gonna go to the store. You guys want anything?

[Adam Carolla]

Anyway, it's got a 4:11 rear end, compression ratios, 11:1o ring pads. The headrest in that car is made out of leather. No, if you look at the headrest in the other cars, it's like just a piece of rubber. It's like a bump. Stop. That car has a hand tooled embroidered leather, red, white and blue PLN in its initials. And it's this car right here. And I recommend at some point you guys pop your head and check it out. But it's it. It is embroidered. It's Hand embroidered versus just sort of the bump stop for your helmet made out of plastic. And I talked to Bob Sharp, who built these cars for Paul and was a team. It was a Newman Sharp racing team. And I said to him, I said, bob, did you make that headrest rapal? Like, how did that get on the car? And he said, we wouldn't have done that. Extra time, little extra weight dudes, they just want to go fast. He said, Joanne Woodward was doing a lot of needlepoint and, like, a lot of making belts and leather belts and her. And actually deep cut Sam Posey, who was a famous racer. Sam Posey's wife and Newman's wife would do a lot of needlework. So evidently, Joanne made that headrest for Paul to be installed in this car. And I know some of you thinking about running out to your car and grabbing the vice grips and walking away with it. If that goddamn thing is missing, at the end of the day, we got a ring, doorbell, camera every four feet in this house. But, yeah, that is one of the stories I forgot to tell you about that car. And like I said, if you want to see footage of these cars driving with either me or. Or Newman, it's. It's on the Internet. Jay. Yes, sir. I haven't fully exploited you doing different voices up here. And I was thinking, what would it sound like if Norm MacDonald just won the Indy 500? I was interviewing him. Norm.

[Jay Moore]

Oh, my God. That took forever. You know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Now you. You're driving for Penske this year. I am, yeah. Norm, come on. It's on the side of the car.

[Jay Moore]

I don't know. I tell you, that Penske, that Roger Penske guy, you know, hey, I got an idea. Seat coolers.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of weight. It's a lot of weight for a

[Jay Moore]

race, you know, It's a lot of weight. Is the seven swimming up the crack of my arse right now?

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely. Just won the Indy 500. I mean, a race that's a hundred years old, it's historic. It's absolutely amazing. You put the car in the pole.

[Jay Moore]

Secret Adam. I'm an old chunk of coal, and, well, that. It's no brickyard, but. But I'll tell you, I enjoy crossing that finish line and knowing that everyone behind me lost.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, it feels good.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah. I'm the only guy that didn't lose. All, like, 30 guys start that race. You know, it's funny. Every guy, they're staying there, they're sitting in their cars there, you know, and they go, I got a real shot to Win this. You know, I've trained my whole life. And then they all lose.

[Adam Carolla]

You. Now, what would it sound like if Joe Pesci won?

[Jay Moore]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

The 500. Joe Peshy. How the.

[Jay Moore]

Where are you gonna put the phone book for me to sit on your stuttering, freaking.

[Adam Carolla]

You set? You got pole position. You led almost the entire race with that big Hit it out of my

[Jay Moore]

big thing of milk and let the prick you don't. They give you a big thing of milk when you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's tradition. You got to drink the milk. All right. I'm all right. Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

I should have thought this out a little bit before. You got all day to organize your thoughts. Here I'm sitting here all by myself trying to do Joe Pep at the finish line. It's a goddamn flag that says there's

[Adam Carolla]

one more lap to go.

[Jay Moore]

I can't even see over the goddamn steering wheel. I gotta sit on a phone book and everything.

[Adam Carolla]

Henry, I'm trying to.

[Jay Moore]

Menus for Adam. You wanna help me out?

[Adam Carolla]

My pit crew bunch of jerks. Whole pit crew jerks. Oh, really? Not good, guys. Whole pit crew jerks. All rats.

[Jay Moore]

Whole bunch of rats.

[Adam Carolla]

They changed the tires and refueled you in 21 seconds. Yeah, two out of four. That's what I'm talking about. Simply Safe. Well, traditional home security. Well, they have expensive monthly fees. That's how they get you multi year contracts and confusing hardware. And that's why I use SIMP Simply Safe instead. You can customize the system on their website and have it at your house in days. It's not just cameras, it's an entire ecosystem of sensors. No lock in or hidden cancellation fees. Simplisafe earns your business by keeping you safe, not trapping you in long term contracts. And they were named after America's best customer service by Newsweek. That's Simply Safe with two eyes. Use the product that I use. And they're a great sponsor. Simply safe. Right, Dawson, we want you to experience the same peace of mind we do. Which is why we've partnered with Simplisafe to offer an exclusive discount to our listeners. Right now you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com Adam that's half [e-mail] Adam. There's no safe like Simplisafe Quo. If your business is still running like a game of telephone gone wrong, it's time to fix that. Don't settle for a bunch of people asking, who's handling this? That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo. That is Q U O the smarter way to to run your business. Communications. Quo works wherever you are and lets you keep your existing number. Quo isn't just a phone system. It's a smart system. Quo's AI automatically logs calls and generates summaries. It's helped my business a lot, and I'm sure it could help yours, too. It's quo, right, Dawson? Make this the time where no opportunity and no customer slips away. Try quo for free. Plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com Adam that's quo.com Adam Quo. No missed calls, no missed customers. A vacation rental should come with support, not surprises. That's why VRBO comes with a VRBoCare guarantee and 24. 7 life support from real people. So if something goes sideways, VRBoCare can help. If the host cancels verbo care. If the listing says heated pool, but there's actually no pool to heat. Definitely a verbo care thing.

[Rudy Pavage]

If my teenager starts calling me Leslie

[Adam Carolla]

instead of mom, that's a family thing. Leslie. That makes sense. Sorry. Book with support, not surprises. Verbo Care and 24. 7 Life Support. If you know you verbo terms apply. Seeverbo.com trust for details. What would it sound? What would Harvey Keitel sound like?

[Jay Moore]

Look, I understand you're going to challenge the results of the race. Well, don't make any mistake. I won the goddamn race, and that's okay. You guys know who Harvey Keitel is? Well, then make some noise. Don't spook the thoroughbred. Look, I understand you took last place. You're super pissed. Was not my fault you got a goddamn barbecue attached to your back bumper. Like pesy signing a little, little bow.

[Adam Carolla]

I was thinking on the way here about the most specific car song ever, which is Shut down by the Beach Boys, and you guys all know it.

[Jay Moore]

You mean most specific, like saying exactly what the car. As opposed to Gary Newman. You're in my car.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

Well, I'm in a car.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, so like when you listen to Deep Purple's Highway Star, the lyrics to that song, it's like, my car goes a million miles an hour. It's got big fat tires and everything. Like, it's not very specific. Big fat tires doesn't racing terminology. They're British, so they're already on the wrong side of the road. But the Beach Boys. Tack it up. You guys know the song? I mean, it's. It's shut down. You know the one.

[Jay Moore]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Tack it up. Tack it up, buddy. Gonna shut you down. It happened on the strip where the road is, right? Yeah. My fuel injected singer. You know 413revin.

[Jay Moore]

You know that one, right? I thought

[Adam Carolla]

if I read you those. If I read you those lyrics, would you know what they meant? Would you anymore? No.

[Jay Moore]

You know, my engine light goes on. I call aaa. I'm an idiot.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I told Andrew to load up those lyrics.

[Jay Moore]

Andrew from philadelphia.

[Adam Carolla]

Andrew from philadelphia. All right, let's.

[Jay Moore]

This is the most rested I've ever seen Andrew in my life.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Tack it up. Tack it up, buddy. Gonna shut you down. It happened on the strip where the road is wide Two cool shorts standing side by side. My fuel injected stingray and a 413.

[Jay Moore]

Stingray.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

Stingray's a corvette.

[Adam Carolla]

Corvette.

[Jay Moore]

And it's fuel injected with oil injected. It's not running out of.

[Adam Carolla]

And what about. And the 413?

[Jay Moore]

That's the size of the engine.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's good. We know what kind of car it is.

[Jay Moore]

Cubic inches. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's good.413.

[Jay Moore]

It's a Chevrolet.

[Adam Carolla]

Max wedge. Dodge.

[Jay Moore]

Dodge corvette.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no. It's his fuel injected stingray and a 413. It's the Dodge. Start going against the corvette. Right. Revving up the engines and it sounds.

[Jay Moore]

That means you're hitting the gas. That means you're hitting the gas pedal.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Revving up the engine.

[Jay Moore]

You got it. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Tack it up. Tack. You know what tack it up means?

[Jay Moore]

T or p? Tack.

[Adam Carolla]

Tack. With a t. No. Tachometer.

[Jay Moore]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Rev it up.

[Jay Moore]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Tachometer.

[Jay Moore]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, buddy. Gonna shut you down. Declining numbers in an even rate. And the count of one, we both accelerate.

[Jay Moore]

Is that the. The tree.

[Adam Carolla]

The Christmas tree.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we got that.

[Jay Moore]

I'm doing all right.

[Adam Carolla]

Doing all right. My stingray is light. The slicks are starting to spin.

[Jay Moore]

That's his tires.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But the 413s really digging in.

[Jay Moore]

That's the other car.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the other car. That's dodge. That's the dodge dart with the max wedge in it. Engine in it. Super stock dodge is widened out and low. But my fuel injected stingray is really starting to go to get the traction. I'm a ride in the clutch. My pressure plate's burning. That machine's too much.

[Jay Moore]

He's going to a lower deer. To get better traction.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no. To get the traction. He's riding the clutch so he doesn't dump the clutch and spin. He's nursing the clutch.

[Jay Moore]

Kind of like a skip barber heel toe racing.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he pulled A Skip Barber reference out. He's a ride the clutch. His pressure plate's burning. That machine's too much.

[Jay Moore]

No idea.

[Adam Carolla]

The clutch is the actual disc, and the pressure plate is what you engage and disengage with your foot. So when your foot's all the way off, the pressure plate is engaged. When you push it in, it disengages. If you're riding it, it's spinning on the pressure plate and burning it up. Okay, hot clutch talk. Come on, ladies. You know you love it.

[Jay Moore]

All right, I can hear the vaginas drying right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Pedals to the floor.

[Jay Moore]

Is there a woman here that knows what's happening? One, two, Pedals.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, first off, I asked earlier.

[Jay Moore]

You didn't put your hands up. You don't get to hop in late if you're a chicken.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta love the Beach Boys because this wasn't a song. It was a Chilton's guy. It was like, literally a manual to rebuild a car in their. Their song. Now it's all this wet ass, Doc. Well, I mean, come on. We've come a long way from burning up pressure plates to wop or wap or whatever.

[Jay Moore]

So Dennis Wilson is the only beach boy that actually surfed. So which of the Beach Boys do you think actually raced?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I. I don't think. I don't think any of them did. But did they write it?

[Jay Moore]

Because that's so specific.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's more. Now, you guys know great. Dennis Wilson. You know, Dennis Wilson was buried at sea. We talked about this. Yeah, but buried at sea doesn't mean your ash is scattered to the sea. It means you are dumped in the ocean. You guys know that. And you know it's illegal to bury someone at sea who was not in the Navy or part of the Coast Guard or whatever, and he wanted to be buried at sea, which is weird because he died by burying himself at sea.

[Jay Moore]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

He literally drowned. And then they pulled him back up and they were like, oh, now we want to bury you back where we pulled you back up from. Like, I could have saved him a step. You know what I mean? But it's illegal to bury someone at sea who wasn't in the Coast Guard. And he got a letter from Ronald Reagan saying, dear Dennis. And, like, Ronald, it's not to Dennis. Well, it's not to Dennis. Dennis is dead.

[Jay Moore]

Would you like a jelly bean head?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, we can get some Mike and Ikes. We just need a piece of paper that says it's okay. You know the Beach Boys, right?

[Jay Moore]

Oh, I sure Do.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so you know that song Shut down with the pressure plates burning?

[Jay Moore]

He rides the clutch.

[Adam Carolla]

He's riding the clutch.

[Jay Moore]

All right, like, I wrote Gorbache to tear down that.

[Adam Carolla]

That's why he is the great communicator. He knows everything. The guy who wrote that song was in the Beach Boys by Dennis Wilson. Dennis Wilson.

[Jay Moore]

I sure like eggs.

[Adam Carolla]

You like eggs.

[Jay Moore]

Are we doing like 88 ringing?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we need you to just sign a quick note saying we can bury him at sea.

[Jay Moore]

Ronald, just hand it to him. Like a kid's menu. They get to play games.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

So let me ask you this. Why is it illegal to be buried at sea?

[Adam Carolla]

I just.

[Jay Moore]

Not ashes. That's legal.

[Adam Carolla]

We are, weirdly. We're pretty heavily regulated in the courts department. You know what I mean? Because if you think about it, civilization was a billion years of literally just burying people wherever they died. You know what I mean? It's like you died on a trail, you got buried on a trail, or you got left on a trail, and everyone just sort of took care of their own. Right. And it was totally unregulated. And then at some point, big funeral got involved. Big funeral. That's right.

[Jay Moore]

Quite a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

They got involved. And the next thing you know, I paid $13,000 for my father in law's casket. Jesus Christ. I know. No.

[Jay Moore]

Is that your father in law?

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus Christ. Yes. It's one thing to say, take $13,000 and just throw it in a hole in the ground, but that's literally what I did.

[Jay Moore]

Who still wants to be buried in a cemetery?

[Adam Carolla]

That seems so.

[Jay Moore]

Like, that's my biggest fear. Like claustrophobia.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

By the way, when you drive by a cemetery, no one, no one living is in it. Like, the. Every stone you see in there was two days of people like, oh, my

[Adam Carolla]

God, I'm never going to get over it.

[Jay Moore]

They get over it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

Nobody care. Nobody goes to visit.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no.

[Jay Moore]

I mean, Italians. Italians go.

[Adam Carolla]

Italians and you know. Saving Private Ryan. Yeah, there you go.

[Jay Moore]

I want to be cremated. I told my wife, put me in an urn. I pull both my sons and just put me next to the tv, because that's all I want to do is watch TV in Eternity. I think that's a Leonard Cohen lyric

[Adam Carolla]

where you can watch tv. Huh? You want to be positioned so you can see the screen or above the screen.

[Jay Moore]

You want to be with the family. With the family.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But do you want to be that close? Because you know they're going to start talking moments after you die. Right, right. His I'd give his pesci a five, honestly. Yeah, maybe a six on a good day. I mean, it wasn't. What you.

[Jay Moore]

Where the do you get your boss

[Adam Carolla]

big enough good to get my Joe pitchy a p. J. Fine. He's not rich.

[Jay Moore]

Little.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's. Let's be honest. Let's be honest.

[Jay Moore]

I would haunt the out of my family. For real.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Jay Moore]

I would fart in my son's bedrooms.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Jay Moore]

How great is that to have sons? You just open their bedroom door. Just close the door.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Why?

[Jay Moore]

That's what you hear in my house all day. Why?

[Adam Carolla]

The ghost hunters always find a cold spot in the house where the ghost is. It's never improper insulation.

[Jay Moore]

Those guys are so full of.

[Adam Carolla]

It's never like, ghost put a door sweep on this door and the cold's getting in. It's always a ghost. You know what I mean?

[Jay Moore]

They're so full of, though. And I believe in ghosts, but those guys are artists. Like, listen to the recording. You can clearly hear the ghost say, go outside and step in front of traffic and die. Listen carefully. No, listen. This is proof that the place on it. The ghost says, go outside and stand in front of traffic so you die. Listen carefully.

[Adam Carolla]

Meep.

[Jay Moore]

You're like, that sounded like me. And then they slow it down.

[Adam Carolla]

Slow it down. Yeah, but look, I took this infrared camera and you can see cool zones over here next to the window that's open. And then warmer zones next to the radiator heater on the other side of the room. And there's another cool zone in the refrigerator. Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

Okay, I see that thing they do where they got like AI like stick figure dancing around on the screen where the ghost is supposed to be like you're sitting in a chair and right next to you, it's like, it's like, like, oh my God, it's right next to you. It's just like rag doll, that little cutie.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, it's always weird that we're haunted by either an old woman or a young girl who lost her dolly. Which, if you think about it, I could sleep through that. Like, if somebody said, hey, Adam, there's a seven year old girl who lost her dolly, I'd be like, well, we'll talk about it in the morning. But they never really haunt, you know, if they really want to instill fear in you. It'd be like, you know who's haunting my house? A gay longshoreman. Yeah. And he's a top and I'm a belly sleeper. And this is a situation that needs to be dealt with. Now. The girl lost her dolly. She can wander through my attic for as long as she wants. This K. Longshoreman who's a power top. This needs to be addressed.

[Jay Moore]

You just hear down the hallway.

[Adam Carolla]

Sounds like Paul Lynn. Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

Are you really a belly sleeper?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm a belly sleeper.

[Jay Moore]

How do you breathe?

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I turn my head. I. It's so sad. But when I was a kid, my mom who was a hippie, and my mom had all those 70s hippie thoughts. Like if you sit too close to the tv, you'll get radiated. Or if you use a microwave, you'll get cancer. Or if you make your kid a sandwich, you'll die. You know all those tropes from the 70s, if you hug your son, put her to ash. She read somewhere in between Yule Givens telling her to eat a pine cone. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You remember Yule Givens. You remember this one does. Yule Givens was for great nuts. And he seems that he was a naturalist. By the way, the thing that's always funny about Jim Fix the long Distance runner. BILL GIBSON ACTOR These dudes just never saw their second birthday. Keith Richards is smoking a cigarette, drinking a pint right now somewhere. And he's 85, right? So screw it. Now he used to tell you, many parts of the pine cone are edible. And my mom listened. She's like, we're on pine cone tonight, bro. My mom picked gaming lines for the backyard and boiled that. We had weeds. It's all good. So my mom heard that a pillow was bad for your neck and it screwed up your posture or something. So she took my pillow and I then simulated my pillow by using my arms. So she took the pillow and I just put my arms underneath my head and I slept on my arms.

[Jay Moore]

And then you got raped by a ghost.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I was raped by a longshoreman who lost his dolly.

[Jay Moore]

No, you were his dolly.

[Adam Carolla]

I became his dolly. All right, Back cooking, back to shut down. There's more pedals to the floor here. The dual quad drink that is a hotel in Milwaukee.

[Jay Moore]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

And now the 413head is starting to shrink. He's hot with ram induction. But it's understood I got a fuel injected engine sitting under my hood.

[Jay Moore]

Got a little ram induction tonight when I get home.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, Hoping. Tell that to the longshoreman. Cross Ram quad. Ram induction is the max wedge 413 with two 4 barrel carburetors, downdraft.

[Jay Moore]

This all sounds like gay porn to me. Say that. Say exactly what you just said. And imagine it's gay guys in a park talking.

[Adam Carolla]

The 413 has quad ram induction, which is a four barrel Holley double pumper and down draft double pumper. Down draft, double pumper. Double pumper. All right, one more voice out of you. What if. Let's see. What if Christopher Walken won the Indy 500?

[Jay Moore]

Well, I can't wait to make my jump to NASCAR. You can't live with these kinds of cars your whole life. At some point, you have to sell out to corporate. Yeah, yeah. But it was a good race. I put my foot on the gas pedal more often than they did. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

See, Chris. Are they. Christine.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah. Of course.

[Adam Carolla]

They normally just say nascar. They don't go nas.

[Jay Moore]

Well, it depends on where you're from, you know, but we got a big secret out there on the track that no one else has. Yeah. You know that pedal on the left?

[Adam Carolla]

The brake? Yeah.

[Jay Moore]

My car doesn't have that.

[Adam Carolla]

No brake?

[Jay Moore]

No brake.

[Adam Carolla]

Just the gas.

[Jay Moore]

No break.

[Adam Carolla]

No break.

[Jay Moore]

There's no break.

[Adam Carolla]

So just the gas.

[Jay Moore]

Just gas. No brakes.

[Adam Carolla]

Uhhuh. So that.

[Jay Moore]

No brakes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I know. Don't get violent. But that's the key.

[Jay Moore]

That's why we win all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

The key for you is never slowing the car down.

[Jay Moore]

If I slow down, it's because I took my foot off the gas for a nanosecond.

[Adam Carolla]

Just a part of a second. An eyelash. Just an eye. A whisper. Whisper. Okay, so you're saying no brake, no brakes, steering wheel. Right.

[Jay Moore]

Everything's right off the line. Classic. Except we just took the brake pedal out because they weigh too much. The brake pads gone.

[Adam Carolla]

No pads, nothing. You run a disc or drums.

[Jay Moore]

No, you don't understand What I'm saying, Mr. Corolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, don't get persnickety.

[Jay Moore]

There's nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

There's no.

[Jay Moore]

There's nothing in that car that will allow you the idea of slowing down. You gotta put your pedal to the metal. Like the Beach Boy song.

[Adam Carolla]

Huh? So you're saying, Mr. Walken, you just do that big indie oval.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

With never any thought for breaking.

[Jay Moore]

Never a thought.

[Adam Carolla]

And then what happens when you have to pit? You know, how do they slow you down?

[Jay Moore]

You know, my pit crew is entirely made of bats.

[Adam Carolla]

Bats?

[Jay Moore]

Bats.

[Adam Carolla]

Two that go alongside.

[Jay Moore]

They tie alongside the car. I slow it down to about 104. And the bats. I got a special eye thing that I do. I give them the old eyeball and they come flying out of the belfry alongside the car. They change out the tires and they go, oh, this car's got no brakes.

[Adam Carolla]

It sounds almost unbelievable.

[Jay Moore]

Well, there's more than one way to skin a cat.

[Adam Carolla]

With a bat.

[Jay Moore]

With a bat. The bats.

[Adam Carolla]

You're saying the bats skin the cats? No.

[Jay Moore]

Well, you take it and putting words in my mouth. This is mainstream media right here.

[Adam Carolla]

You said I'm fake news.

[Jay Moore]

No, I said you're mainstream media. You're Adam Caroll.

[Adam Carolla]

If you.

[Jay Moore]

For God's sake. So I'm just saying my pit crew, it used to be hawks, but the hawks would get distracted by rodents and certain legumes that they saw growing that look like a rodent. But the bats, they don't get distracted. They see my car going by and that's why if you look at the side of my car, it just looks like assorted fruit.

[Adam Carolla]

Chris we're walking, everybody.

[Jay Moore]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Jay Moore, O'Reilly Auto Parts maybe you've heard me talk about O'Reilly. I love this place. There's two that I go to in my neighborhood. Friendly, courteous folks, knowledgeable. If I have a car issue, it's always off to O'Reilly. They've got thousands of parts in stock, either in store or you can go online. So you never have to worry if you're in a jam, they got your back. They also test your battery and they'll do it for free and they'll help you replace it. They'll find you the right size because every car nowadays got its own battery going. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and they're friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. It is O'Reilly Auto Parts. Right. Dawson Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us@o'reillyauto.com Adam that's o'reillyauto.com Adam Home Chef well, after the holiday chaos, the last thing you want to do is overthink dinner. Home Chef They've been great for that. Fresh food shows up pre portioned and the recipes are simple enough that even I won't screw them up. Home Chef makes cooking simple, fresh food delivered, easy recipes to follow and meals that actually taste great. I've had everything from easy sheet pan dinners to heavier cold weather stuff. And it all feels and tastes like real food because it is not science project food. Good, hearty food. It's Home Chef. Right, Dawson For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 50% off and free Shipping for your first box, plus free dessert for life. Go to homechef.comacs or Atom. That's homechef.comacs or Adam for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life. Homechef.comacs or Adam must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. Foreign. This is Dan in Cave Junction, Oregon.

[Jay Moore]

I think you might have been a

[Adam Carolla]

little bit hard on Swalwell because in

[Jay Moore]

order to eradicate rape in California, he

[Adam Carolla]

had to become a rapist. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Yeah, good point. Rudy's got some news, but since that guy brought up Swalwell, there's a Ted Lieu, you know, but it strikes me, I know this sounds racist, but I don't think it is.

[Rudy Pavage]

Hang on, let me get a penny.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Ted Lieu is Asian, and Ro Khanna's Indian, and usually two of the smarter breeds. But California politicians are so fucking dumb that even the smart breeds are retarded. They're like, well, yeah, but Mexicans aren't known for their skill behind their chessboards. You know what I'm saying? I'm saying there's plenty of dumb Mexicans. You gotta search far and wide for an Indian and an Asian that are dumb. But we get them here in California, maybe we convert them to dumb. Maybe it's not their fault. I'm sure their parents are upset. So Ted Lieu, like I said, there's corrupt Asians and there's corrupt Indians, but you don't really get the dumb ones we have. Ted Liu is dumb. I don't know what his heritage is, but it takes you a while to find a really dumb Asian. And he is it. But he didn't know anything about the Swalwell situation. We can play you that clip.

[Rudy Pavage]

Convenient.

[Adam Carolla]

Very convenient. I had no idea until I read the San Francisco Chronicle article when it was published. Okay. And I believe Representative Swalwell did the right thing by resigning Roseanne. Wait, what did he say? Roseanne Swalwell. Representative oh, he was saying. Representative.

[Jay Moore]

Hold on.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me hear that again. I thought you said Roseanne Swallow.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah,

[Adam Carolla]

I had no idea until I read the San Francisco Chronicle article when it was published. And I believe Roseanne Swalwell did the right thing by designing. He said Roseanne Swalwell. But anyway. Representative. All right, so here's what I want to say. Are you guys ready?

[Rudy Pavage]

Please.

[Adam Carolla]

These people. And this would be Adam Schiff and Ted Lieu and all the assholes. They all Knew Trump was colluding with Russia for four years. That information they got, except for that never happened. So that they were completely aware of the guy who was sitting next to them and going out to lunch with them, who was a rapist. They knew nothing about that. So they knew what was going on in Russia and Putin. Four years, they had somehow had access to all this information that no one else had access to, but could not discern the rapists amongst them. That sounds fish. It sounds fishy to me. Yeah, I feel. So you knew about the thing that didn't happen, but you didn't know about the thing that did happen? That your sleuthing skills are pretty, pretty weak. Here's. Here's not Swalwell. Sir Adam Schiff, do you still have questions about who knew what when, about his behavior?

[Jay Moore]

Well, I don't know what others may have known. I can tell you that I certainly didn't know that he was involved in any conduct.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, but you knew all about Russia. Knew all about Russia. Every week there was a new bombshell that was gonna burst about Russia and you. And you knew all of it, but you don't know anything about your buddy who's a rapist stateside. You don't have to go all the way to Russia for that information. Oh, that's interesting. And what else do you know about and not know about and what's coming next? And what shall we listen to you about? Next time you tell us I know about something. How should, how should we absorb that? Hmm? Fucking lying douchebag. And by the way, what else don't you know, huh?

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Well, I'm glad you're in charge. You seem to have some sort of crystal ball.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah, these are the guys that cried wolf way too many times and it's starting to come back and bite him in the ass a little bit, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, yeah. Yes. Not enough though.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Unaware. Unaware. This is the definition of stupid or liar. Yes. He's either fucking stupid, and I don't think he is, or he's lying. But he was also lying about Russia too. I don't know what happened. Four years. If you got a bunch of information, where is it, what's going on? And by the way, hey, news outlets, would you do your fucking job? This guy gaslit you for four years. He lied you for four years. He ran a Ponzi scheme on CNN for four years. And no hard feelings, no follow up questions? No nothing? No. Oh, Adam Schiff wants to come on and talk about the Dreamer act. Yeah, fuck that guy. Lied to us for four years now.

[Rudy Pavage]

Well, he lied to us about the thing that we are also happy about.

[Adam Carolla]

We did it too, right? Yeah, I guess you may be right. All right. Also, this. I was looking at this Mamdani supermarket thing. I was laughing about it. But I'll tell you why I'm laughing about it. We'll play the clip. This is his $30 million supermarket that's going to open. I don't know how it worked. So here's their plan. He's going to open up a supermarket down the street from your supermarket that your family runs. Except your family has to pay taxes and a mortgage or rent on their supermarket. But then the competition down the street is government subsidized. They don't have to pay mortgage, rent, or taxes. So aren't they going to ruin your business?

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

This is what I've been telling these assholes the whole time. I got into this with Gavin Newsom. Illegal selling flowers on the street undercuts the business. Who's the florist who has to pay workman's comp and insurance and all of that stuff that you guys impose upon him? He's now being undercut. So he's gonna open the government supermarket, which always works out great. I think they tried it in like, Kansas City or something. It's like, shit. It's a shit show. Here's the thing about the government supermarket. The government supermarket is basically like the plastic pumpkin with the Reese's Pieces in it. And the family that's out of town for Halloween. That shit will work in my neighborhood, but not when you go to the poor neighborhood. It doesn't work in the poor neighborhood. You could probably do the government market in Beverly Hills and maybe Malibu or Santa Monica. If you did a government market and you just went, it's going to be in the middle of Malibu. But we're just going to limit it to people who live in Malibu. You could pull it off. Fat, dumb, poor people on snap. That shit ain't gonna work. People that fight people behind counters at Popeyes because they're out of dipping sauce. That market is not gonna work with those people. The pumpkin works in a good neighborhood. Sure. The pumpkin does not work in a shit neighborhood. And the markets in a shit neighborhood with poor, dumb people. Who you guys look at is super hardworking and just sort of down off out on their luck or down and out. But it's not. It's dumb, lazy, poor people. I grew up with these people. I was sitting around and calculating it while I was on the road because I worked Friday, Saturday and Sunday the last few weekends. Nobody in my family my entire life ever worked a Saturday. Not once. My grandmother had a full time job, but she worked for the va. There's no Saturday. My dad was like, school teacher, whatever. My mom didn't work. And then my stepdad worked for Lockheed, but no one. You know what, to be fair to my dad, later on, late, late, late in life, may have done a little therapy on a Saturday, but also didn't really work during the week.

[Rudy Pavage]

Well, to be fair, Adam, you had a lot of sporting events and a lot of things that the family had to attend on a Saturday. That's true.

[Adam Carolla]

The days were filled with pop work, Warner football. All right, so let's stop calling all. I was yelling at Rudy. All right, I'll play this clip and then remind me with the gym. Sorry. In the hotel.

[Rudy Pavage]

Grocery prices are out of control.

[Adam Carolla]

Out of control.

[Rudy Pavage]

Cost of eggs and milk has skyrocketed.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, pause. All right, me and Drew looked it up. Eggs are between 19 and 30 cents a piece of. That's what eggs are. So a three egg omelet is under a dollar. Not too shabby. Not too shabby in this day and age, right?

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah, we're back to eggs being a buck fifty for a twelve pack of them. And nobody's gone back and been like, oh, thanks for getting those egg prices back down again.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, it's like the most complete food you could eat. You could probably live just off of eggs. This is my thing with, like these poor people living in food deserts and take a dozen eggs hard, boil a dozen eggs, you're done with lunch for that week. You don't like it. It's not a chicken nugget, but it's good for you. All right, so anyway, eggs are super expensive even though they're 20 cents a piece. I guess you bought more eggs than I had.

[Rudy Pavage]

I literally bought four hard boiled eggs on my way to the studio today to eat. And they were cheap eggs. Got them at the gas station.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so eggs and milk and bread are super expensive, except for everyone can afford it. But let's keep going with this soliloquy here.

[Rudy Pavage]

Grocery prices are out of control. The cost of eggs and milk has skyrocketed. Some stores are even using dynamic pricing, jacking up the cost over the course of a day, depending on what they can get away with.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on a second. Does anyone have any fucking idea what the fuck he's talking about? Jacking up prices during the day. So you Go in and you grab some top ramen for a buck 29. And as you're walking to. Or some guy with a gun just tags it up for $4. They're like, oh, no, it's Tuesday. It's 3 in the afternoon. We can get a little more. Few more bucks out. I don't know what the. Sorry, there's a moth coming at me. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. I've never seen this. Trader Joe's is just Trader Joe's all day, every day. It's more than it was 10 years ago, but it's still cheap and it's still the same, and they're all the same and. Or you can go to Gelson's and then Gelson's is really expensive.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah, it's not Uber. It's not like you go at 7am and the Toblerone is a dollar fifty, but then you go at 3pm and it's six bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

There's dynamic pricing. You get it? They're ga. Oh, they're gouging us. Like. Like Exxon and Mobile are gouging. The people live in California for their gas, except for no one else. And it's really the government that's gouging. But okay, they start with a. Here's what they do. They start with a bullshit premise. The whole premise is bullshit. Eggs and milk are too expensive. That's their jumping off point stuff. That's 20 cents apiece. Again, three egg omelet, under a dollar. Okay, milk, I don't know. Two bucks for a quart. Whatever. That's a jumping off point. Then they start going into a lie about gouging and dynamic pricing. Does anyone know what they're talking about when he says dynamic pricing? Does anyone know. No. What that is? I know what that's supposed to mean. I know it's supposed to be. Supposed to mean Exxon is gouging you in California, but they're not. You guys overregulate them. But. All right, let's. Let's see what else. Also, I know this drives Andrew insane, and maybe Nick Shirley needs some his way, too, which is the mic has a clip. Clip it on your fucking lapel and talk. Don't hold it in front of your face. It's a clip on. Has anyone ever seen a talk show where you're sitting there next to Conan o' Brien or something and you're holding the mic? You clip the mic on. It's got a clip. This is something I've noticed is Universal in government, all through press conferences, whatever campaign stops. Nobody hires an audio engineer. No one tells. No one tells these people how this actually works. Clip it the fuck on your lapel. But anyways, holding the mic, talking about dynamics. All right, so we're getting gouged depending on what time of the day it is. Here we go.

[Rudy Pavage]

Doesn't need to be this way. I'm Zahran Mamdani, and as mayor, I will create a network of city owned grocery stores. Like a public option for produce. We will redirect city funds from corporate supermarkets to city owned grocery stores. Is lower prices, not price gouging. These stores will operate without a profit motive or having to pay property taxes or rent and will pass on those savings to you. They'll partner with small businesses and nearby farms and sell at wholesale prices. The job of city government isn't to tinker around the edges while one in four children across our city go hungry.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, hold on. One in four in the city of New York are going hungry. So 25% of women, I should say kids in New York, 25% of them are hungry, going to bed hungry. But I looked it up. More than 40% of them are obese. So there's some fat ass kids that are hoarding all the food. You should go find the fat kids who are taking the food away from the hungry kids. Right?

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So how does that math work out? 25%. 25% are hungry and then almost 50% or obese. So we got to start blaming the fat kids. Right, that's they're taking too much food.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah. How about a little less Subway, a little bit more walking? Waddle your fat ass on down to the old city grocery store.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, this is more bullshit. Like, you really think there's 25% kids that are hungry? By the way, when kids are hungry, Dr. Drew was telling me, because I was a hungry kid, you snap into action. Like when you're fucking hungry, you see guys walking out of a Subway and you're like, hey, man, can I have half that sandwich? Like, you'll. You'll pick shit out of the garbage. Like, you will act like it. I've never seen that in New York. I only see fat kids.

[Rudy Pavage]

There's a municipal liquor stores in Minnesota. Well, the city that I lived in had a couple of them. And they had the audacity to put something in the. To all of the residents saying, hey, we know there's a brand new big box store down the street that's selling all the wine and beer that you love at half the price that we are. But if you stop shopping with us, we're gonna go ahead and jack up. We might have to jack up property taxes. So I wrote them back an email and said, how about this? How about you guys? If you could do me a solid, If I can prove. If I go out and I get a DUI or I do something stupid on the alcohol that you sold me and I can prove I bought it at the municipal liquor store, I then get no reprimand. There's no. I get no charges. Yeah. No repercussions. There's no. Nothing happens. I'm good. And they went, yeah, it doesn't work that way. And I was like, well, of course it doesn't work that way because you guys are just trying to get more money out of us.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, So I back it up a little. I'm curious again about how the dynamic pricing works. And we'll display from there. So supermarkets are raised. Has anyone been in a supermarket when prices were going up as you were shopping? I don't think I've ever experienced that, but all right, here we go.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah, it's like when you go to Google to get a flight and then it's in the red where it says very high or moderate at different times. It's insane that they think we would buy into some of this bullshit.

[Adam Carolla]

The class warfare is to really just get dumb people agitated that can vote for them. I'll give you. I have a war on poor people and dumb people. That's my thing because I grew up with those people. All right, Dawson, if we don't have it, we have an issue. That's fine. Oh, here it is.

[Rudy Pavage]

Are even using dynamic pricing, jacking up the cost over the course of a day, depending on what they can get away with. It doesn't need to be this way. I'm mayor. I will create a network of city owned grocery stores.

[Adam Carolla]

It's got to have a music bed too, you know.

[Rudy Pavage]

We will redirect city funds from corporate supermarkets to city owned grocery stores whose mission is lower prices, not price gouging. These stores will operate without a profit motive or having to pay property taxes or rent. And we'll pass on those savings to you. They'll partner with small businesses and nearby farms. The job of city government isn't to tinker around the edges while wanting to four children across our city go hungry.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me say something. First off, the Democrats have a artist rendering version of their plan. And then there's the reality of their plan. Which is always a shit show. But it's funny to look at the artist's rendering of the bullet train or the 7th Street Bridge or Mamdame and his supermarkets. They have a happy drawing of it. Never, never works out. Listen, Poor people, dumb people, they're gonna have to start getting their shit together. That's basically what I'm talking about. I am uniquely qualified to talk about this because I hung around with poor, lazy people my entire life. I saw exactly how they operate. And then I hung out with rich people. Rich people are better. They work harder, they put more in, and they're generally more reliable prompter. They care more. And they're fuck of a lot more responsible and they take care of their kids and so on and so forth. This poor but proud thing, it's basically the same shit they do with American Indians. Like, look at these brave, hardworking. That guy's fat, he's an alcoholic and he gambles all day. Like, what do you talk. What is it? You're looking at a drawing of somebody, not a reality of somebody. So I was. I just got back from Phoenix, and I was staying at the Rich White guy facility. Big, beautiful compound.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah, the rwf.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, the Rich White Guy Facility Facility. And I went into the gym and the place was packed. Packed with skinny, oldish white people. All. Every treadmill is packed. And I thought I got a little spoiled because traveling and going to all the places we go to, coming back from Nebraska and staying at the fair to Midland kind of lower echelon hotels, the one thing you could count on was an empty gym all the time. The free buffet was always packed with fat people, but the gym was always empty. So then I walked in and like, the gym is. Was kind of weird. What I was doing is I was on the phone with Dr. Drew. And I'll do the treadmill and talk to Drew the whole time, but I don't really want a person to my right and a person my left while I'm yelling at Dr. Drew on the phone. And normally I just go into the empty gym and get on the treadmill. There's nobody in there this time. Someone on my right. Someone. All the treadmills were filled up. And then I realized at the shitty hotels, the poor, fat, dumb people eat all the free food, but nobody hits the treadmill. And I realize at the rich white guy hotel, they're all in the gym. And even if they had a free buffet, powdered eggs and fake waffles and whatever these guys have, I don't think these Guys would be down with it. And everyone goes, oh, they have money. It's like when people go, these celebrities, they have a personal trainer. If I had a personal trainer. No, no, no. They got more discipline than you do. You can do push ups in your prison cell and be fucking jacked.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah. Rob Lowe has a saying where he went to go reach for a donut one time and he stopped himself and someone said, hey, go ahead and eat that donut. He was like, headliners don't eat donuts. I was like, yeah, that's right. Headliners don't eat donuts.

[Adam Carolla]

So I really realized this problem we have. Even though the poor people who are mired in shame wanna constantly do this class warfare bullshit, like rich people gotta pay their share. And then these guys who are carpetbaggers like Mandami who are hustlers basically realize there's a lot more poor people who are shamed for not working hard enough and I'll get them to vote for us. But that's not the problem. The problem is fucking people not working hard enough. And there's no amount of government that's ever going to fix that. I don't know anybody who's highly motivated that's not reasonably successful in this country. I don't know a person. I used to say it all the time. I go, I don't know a good carpenter that's ever out of a job. Who do you know? Yeah, who do you know that's good at their job that's ever out of out of a job? Acre Gold. We've all lost 30 bucks on a random lunch or streaming service we don't ever use. Acre Gold lets you turn that lost money into physical 24 karat Swiss gold. You pick a plan, your balance builds and once you hit the price of a bar, they ship it straight to your front door. Real gold in your hand at your house. And for the collectors out there, they just dropped a limited edition Hot Wheels collection. Am I right, Dawson? While you're checking them out, claim your free entry to the speed club sweepstakes. They're giving away a 1 gram hot wheels gold bar plus a massive grand prize. The 10 gram 24 karat Gold Hot Wheels bar. Both come in official collector packaging and they are up for grabs right now. Start stacking for just $30 at getacregold. That's getacregold.com Adam subscribe today. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the mindset.

[Jay Moore]

Free this Is the mantra free? This is the mindset. With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire

[Adam Carolla]

Star Trek film franchise and Gladiator, and TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob, the Fairly Odd Parents, and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free. Huzzah.

[Jay Moore]

Pluto TV stream. Now pay. Never.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's see. Yeah, he wants to tax the rich. And then. I know it. My mom is one of the dumb, lazy people, and she thought up until her death that rich people don't pay tax. That's what she does. But does she really think that? Or is she just ashamed for not contributing? And it makes it easier to point at somebody else. Now here's Mamdami. He's gonna get rich people to pay. By the way, 1% pays 40% of the taxes in Manhattan.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah. When I ran for mayor, I said I was gonna tax the rich. Well, today we're taxing the rich. I'm thrilled to announce we've secured a pied a terre tax, the first in New York's history. This is an annual fee on luxury properties worth more than 500.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I can just tell you, as a rich guy, there's all taxes. It's just taxes. It's nonstop taxes. And it's kind of a. It's an interesting grift. It's the same grift that they've done with dumb people, of white cops shooting unarmed black people and executing them like racist cops. It doesn't happen. You guys made it up. It really doesn't exist. You've got created something that doesn't exist and turned it into a thing. People think rich guys got to start paying their fair share. It's not going to help the poor people. Poor people need to be told. Rich people are not your fucking problem. They're job creators. Your job is to get a job, and then one day you can be a job creator.

[Rudy Pavage]

Well, as a guy who stays exclusively at the poor white guy facility on the road, I try to tell people that I was in the gym this weekend. You know, since you're right, it's empty. And while I'm in there, I'm staring outside into the courtyard, and it is just people smoking, drinking Monster Energy drinks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Rudy Pavage]

I was like, it is. It's 11am what are you guys doing here?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, there is a lot. The other thing is, there's a lot more addiction. There's a lot more cigarettes, There's a lot more alcohol, There's a lot more food addiction. There's like a lot more of that. You don't see it in the rich Whitey hotels. And, yeah, that's how I grew up, but just fuck. And by the way, everyone's a little bit of a grifter, like, trying to figure out a way to scam and get some free shit.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. So anyway, poor not proud. What do we got in the news?

[Rudy Pavage]

Well, here we go. Let's start it off with Gavin Newsom. California Governor Gavin Newsom's political action committee spent more than $1.5 million buying thousands of copies of his new memoir, accounting for about two thirds of all copies sold nationwide, according to campaign finance filings. The PAC spending helped propel Newsom's memoir, Young man in a Hurry, onto the New York Times bestseller list and is raising new scrutiny as his national profile builds ahead of a possible 2028 presidential run.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, man, but he's just here to do what's right. He's so damn tired of people taking stuff, and he's gonna fix that stuff. Yeah, he's here to do the damn right thing, man. That's all he. That's his why and his. If he knows his. If he knows his why, he knows his theirs, and he's looking to do the right thing. He's trying to help people with stuff by buying books and then taking money laundering it to the publisher so we can get a sweet advance.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

On his book deal.

[Jay Moore]

You know what's funny?

[Rudy Pavage]

You know, because obviously now they have all of these books just sitting around, and they thought, well, what the hell are we gonna do with these things? So they sent them out to people that donated to his campaign. And it reminded me of when we all bought Apple phones And then the U2 album was on there.

[Adam Carolla]

What the hell, man?

[Jay Moore]

I didn't want this.

[Adam Carolla]

Now you're going, Especially them.

[Jay Moore]

Oh, awful.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He's gonna fight injustice, man. That's his thing. And move units of his own book. That's what he's into. It's not really his fault. It's the people that vote, you know?

[Rudy Pavage]

It's the people.

[Jay Moore]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Jay Moore]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Rudy Pavage]

So hero representative Ilhan Omar says she and her husband aren't secretly sitting on millions, despite what her financial paperwork seemed to show. Blaming an accounting heir for the confusion. Omar's 2024 financial disclosure, not a tax return, listed her and her husband's assets somewhere between 6 million and 30 million. That's a huge jump from the previous year. That raised many eyebrows online.

[Adam Carolla]

So she says some people did some things. That's her thing. That's nine. Eleven.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah. So what's funny is when she, you know, into her calculations, she's actually worth somewhere between 18,000 and 95,000. Which means by her calculations, me, Dawson and Andrew are all wealthier than Ilhan Omar.

[Adam Carolla]

I would assume she's lying about everything all the time. But listen, you got, you know, the Democrats have painted themselves into a corner. They are the party of poor people and they're the party of trying to take down rich people. Except for they all wanna be R and are. So now there's an issue because Trump being rich doesn't bother anyone who votes for Trump. Bernie Sanders having three homes and being a millionaire may bother optically, may not look good. You know what I mean? Like one of them. If you're a preacher and you go, a man shouldn't lay down with another man, that's fine. But once you get caught in the bathroom at the airport, now there's an issue. I can say whatever I want and do whatever I want, cuz I don't pretend to know or pretend to care. So you guys are all the no king millionaires and you're always the poor but proud millionaire people. So now there's an issue. You know, everybody is rich. Everyone is striving to get richer. Everyone is working the system and getting their husband's jobs and you know, Nancy Pelosi and her tax, you know, her, her stock market tips and everything. And simultaneously having to pretend to be poor and sort of downtrodden and for the downtrodden. So it's kind of, it's gonna be a, it's a bit of a battle. And that's why Bernie Sanders switched it from millionaires to billionaires just in the last 10 minutes because somebody tapped him on the shoulder and explained that he was also a millionaire. The greatest tape of this ever. I don't even know if we can find this Dawson, but years and years ago it was Howard Stern talking to Michael Moore. And Michael Moore's worth $50 million or so. He sold a lot of documentaries and made a lot of money. That's Michael Moore. But Michael Moore has to dress like an out of work lesbian trucker. So people don't think he has money because he rails against people with money. That's all he does. So you can't be a guy with money and rail. Now my thing is, yes, you can. You can be wildly successful and still rail against anybody you want. That just means you're successful. But he can't do it. So one day he was on Stern. It was God at least 10 years ago, probably more, and Stern doing What he does, he was just like, you're a millionaire, right? Oh, no, no, no, no. You were talking about this back in 06. I don't think it was that far back. But maybe, maybe it was. It was a long time ago. But Michael Moore, by the way, net worth was 50 million at the time. Like, wow. No, no, no. But you're, but you're a millionaire, right? And he goes, oh, no, no, no, no. And he goes, Stern keeps drilling down, he goes, but you're worth $1 million? Are you not worth $1 million? And he goes, maybe with the House. All right, so what's he doing? He's lying because he wants to rail against rich people and he doesn't want you to know he's rich.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So that's what they do.

[Rudy Pavage]

Well, much like seeing somebody that is your same nationality in a movie or on tv, they have to be able to. The people that are ingesting this content have to look at the people putting it out and go, you know what? One day I can also be worth $50 million and lie my ass off to people. So it doesn't seem that bad.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. What else you got?

[Rudy Pavage]

So speaking of Democrats, James Carville previews what is in store for Democrats if they retake power and that they should just keep their plans quiet.

[Adam Carolla]

He's not saying, yeah, the Democrats win the presidency in both houses of Congress. I think on day one, this should make Puerto Rico D.C. estate and it should expand the Supreme Court to 13. It eat our dust. They've done everything they could that they held up to 22,000 election. They stole it. They've stolen Supreme Court seats, they've gerrymandered everything that you can. And the only way to fight this is don't run on it, don't talk about it, just do it. Just, okay, we got 54 senators and we got 13 court members. Thank you. Goodbye. Because you're not going to get a fair shake any, any kind of way in this system. 18% of the United States elects 52 senators. Well, you're not going to make it equitable, but you'll make it better by adding Puerto Rico and dc. The Democrats were not even hiding it. Well, here's the thing. If I thought it was a good outcome, then I'd be for it. My thing is, I don't have an inherent problem with, let's say there's two systems, right? You got Democrat and Republican, but you also have metric and standard. I don't have a built in bias or a problem with SAE American standard stuff. 3, 8 wrenches versus 10 millimeter wrenches or something. Metric is a little better. It's a better system if you're a mechanic. Because the reason it's a better system is because if you have a 5, 8, you know, if you have like a 5, 8 socket and it's a little too small, a little, a little too big, then someone will go, you want to go to half inch or the 9, 16, you have to think. But metric, if you got a 12 millimeter socket and it's like a little too big, you just get 11, you just go, and that's too big. You go with a 10.

[Rudy Pavage]

Real men keep both, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes, it's an easier life. But here's my whole point. But they both work. Use the standard stuff on the American, the Chevys and use the metric, shit on the Nissans and fine. And I don't have an inherent problem with Democrats or Democratic policy, except for it's a shit show and it ruins states and cities. The old version, you know, Bill Clinton, 1997, whatever, fine, it's fine. I don't like, like my thing is like I'm not against Democrats for the sake of being against Democrats. I just see what their cities turn into and it turns into a shit show. So if it was the difference between standard and metric, I just go, I don't know, flip a coin. Well, I'll go stand or I'll go metric. Cuz they're both pretty effective and they both work about the same way. This is not that I live in Los Angeles. You guys fucked it up badly. Badly. And you want to keep going that way. So I don't know. And what's Carville want? That's the other thing too. I just want fucking lower taxes and a border, that's all. And school choice. Why is that bad? And by the way, if that's what you guys wanted, then it'd be fine. But everything's Drag queen story hour and defund the police and hand out needles in the Mission District.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah, and they always talk about the system. Oh, it's the system. It's like, well, that system also made you wealthy. What are you talking about? So. Yeah, all right, all right, one more here. So White House Secretary Carolyn Leave it, Excuse me said Friday the Trump administration is working with the FBI and other federal agencies to review a growing number of cases involving American scientists who have gone missing or died to determine whether any of these cases might be connected. In light of the recent and legitimate questions about these Troubling cases. The President's committee commitment is to the truth. The White House is actively working with all relevant agencies and the FBI to review all of these cases together and identify any potential commonalities that may exist.

[Adam Carolla]

The thing that's crazy about a couple of them, a couple of them are this guy just went out for a walk with nothing but a handgun and, like, never came back. And there's another one who just went for a walk with nothing but a handgun and never came back. I'm not sure how the handgun factors in on the walk. Some people do that, but these are science. They aren't ranchers.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So something seems like somebody knew somebody was in peril or something. Whatever it is, I'm just gonna go something, something China. That's about all I got on this one. And I'll just assume something, something China until we hear otherwise.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah, well, it's crazy because some of these, you know, none of these people really worked with each other, but there are some of these scientists that worked in, like, with UFOs. And it was like other branches of the government where they were working in separate parts of the country, did not know each other, but kind of working on the same thing, which is wild. And even one of these cases where a woman went missing back in 2022, they're now adding that into the mix too, thinking that this may have gone back a few years.

[Adam Carolla]

One guy just got shot on his porch, but that was la. So I was like, all right, his fault for sitting on his porch, right? Yeah, yeah. So it's kind of a weird one. What do you got there? Andrew took off with the gun. Who's gunned down? Where was that guy gunned down? I can't read it from the.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah, the front porch of his home in my eyes are so bad, I can't read them either.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Antelope Valley, California. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, it seems. Look, here's the thing. All this stuff that I would always poo poo, you know, Kennedy assassination or the Twin Towers or did we land on the moon or what? After Covid, it's all on the table for me. After all these guys lying and colluding and big tech and politics and all the bullshit. I'm now big pharma and everything. It's all in the realm of possibilities for me now. All right? So something I wanted to talk about, which was the Phil's Pride coffee flag. Scott Wiener, ready to go. Here's all this guy's. What is Scott Wieners a representative From California. And he's running for senator. Oh, he's running for senator, all right. But here's my whole thing. I don't care, good or bad about the gay community. I don't want people elected who look out for the gay community or the black community or the Armenian community. I just want people who are elected who do a good job. That's all. These assholes spend their whole day at the gay pride thing and announcing, you know, they're gonna take the sign down so you can cruise on Hyperion and Silver LA and whatever. Phil's Coffee. This guy, we talked about this ass wipe, like last week. Said they're just gonna take down all the gay flags. Taking down the gay flag is sort of like taking down a flag for a professional football team. It doesn't mean you're against football or professional football. It just means this is a place where Raiders fans and Steelers fans and Ravens fans are all welcome. We don't need to declare a team. Just anyone can come in here who likes football or not.

[Rudy Pavage]

It's why it's called a sports bar, right? Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It's got an S on the end. I'm sorry. Not running for Senate. Running for reelection. Running for reelection. All right. But he's obsessed with cock, this guy, and so everything he does is sort of cock related. And I again, just fucking run and do a good job for your city. But here he is. He's got to cut a video and celebrate now because Phil's coffee caved to him and his homo Nazi constituency. And now they have to put the things back. And this is a big deal for him. Not crime or potholes or poverty. This Phil's just announced that the pride flags are going back into Phil's locations. This is a huge win for the community. It's a big win for the community.

[Jay Moore]

Huge thanks to all of the Phil's

[Adam Carolla]

baristas who advocated and who fought for our community. Music bad. It's a big win standing. He's waving the gay flag. He's going into Philz. He's waving his gay flag again.

[Jay Moore]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Just suck dick on your own time and then make good fucking policy. Jesus Christ.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah, you can also tell, like the homeless people and the potholes out in front of that Phil's location are not being taken care of. But we got that goddamn flag put up.

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus Christ, you assholes. Vote for these fucking dicks. By the way, he was the same guy. Nick Shirley. Yeah, Nick Shirley got hold of him. So everyone who signed the anti Nick Shirley act, who doesn't want fraud uncovered. You can call it whatever you want. They don't like guys like Nick Shirley. Nick Shirley went to go confront all these people, which is a great video. None of them would talk to him, which, again, it's a weird thing. Like, if I'm just walking down the street and Nick Shirley goes, hey, Adam. Carolla, I hear you hate red turn arrows. I will stop. Yes, I do. And here's. Do you have an hour? Because. Let me explain, but you can go back. He sees Scott Wiener and wants to ask him why he signed off on this Stop Nick Shirley act. And here's his answer. Here's Scott. What do you think about the Stop Nick Shirley act? I think you're a psycho scam artist. It's a scam artist. It's a scam artist. He's the scam artist and he's a psycho.

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah. He's the guy that is uncovering all the scam artists. Why is this guy getting his.

[Adam Carolla]

Why is Scott Weiner angry at the guy that's uncovering fraud when he works for the government?

[Rudy Pavage]

Yeah. Well, because Nick Shirley is on the side of the right. And anybody who's on the side of the right, regardless of what they are doing, whether it be good or bad, they are gonna have a problem with him.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that's what it is. But you're not supposed to wear it on your sleeve that way. You're supposed to pretend like you don't like fraud either, not declare war on the people. And by the way, nobody he tried to talk to had 10 seconds for him. Don't you think that politicians should be obliged to answer some fucking questions? Like they just blow past everyone and slam the door behind him and their security pushes them out. Like you're lawmakers. You're making policy. Tell us why. This is the guy you don't want doing what he's doing. Now sit down and explain to us and to him why you're against him doing what he's doing, which is awesome. So I don't know. So my whole point is, if this was metric versus standard, I wouldn't care, Carville. But that this ain't. We're not living. We're dealing with fucking uber nut jobs like this Scott Wiener. And then folks that are in a bizarre position of defending fraudsters and attacking people that uncover fraud. Just like you guys got bent in a pretzel protecting. You now protect illegal felons who commit drugs and crime and human trafficking. You now have to protect them and fraudsters, because Trump doesn't want either one of those guys. So you got fooled into this. I'm sorry, do we have a clip of this or we just playing it? Sorry.

[Jay Moore]

Hey, can you. Can you give us your opinion? Thank you very much.

[Rudy Pavage]

Can you give us your opinion really

[Jay Moore]

quick on AB 2624?

[Adam Carolla]

I think you're a psycho scam artist,

[Jay Moore]

so please disclose how you think that.

[Rudy Pavage]

Look how they just run away.

[Jay Moore]

These guys are fools.

[Adam Carolla]

Stop and tell them why it's a necessary bill. And by the way, they always do the safety shit. I told you guys, they hide behind safety for everything all the time. It's a lie. All right, let's see. Friday, Saturday. Oh, Vegas. Are you gonna be out in Vegas?

[Rudy Pavage]

I will not be in Vegas with you this time, but I will be coming up later this summ, May 8th

[Adam Carolla]

and 9th over at Kimmel's Club. And then Covina on the 14th at the Laugh Factory. Doing a live pod there. Also, let's see. Friday, May 15th, Visalia, California, Fox Theater. Huh? Saturday, 16th, Modesto. Oh, I didn't know that. Another theater. This is scottamcoral.com for all the live shows. What do you got? Really?

[Rudy Pavage]

This Wednesday, Thursday, I'll be in Chicago. Zany's downtown on Wednesday, Wednesday, Rosemont on Thursday. And then this weekend, Arlington, Texas, from

[Adam Carolla]

Friday through Sunday, Rosemont's Fun Club. Yeah. All right, tell next time, Adam Crawford, Rudy Pavitz and Jay Moore saying mahalo. Leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see Adam Carolla at AdamCarolla.com. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the mindset.

[Jay Moore]

Free. This is the mantra free. This is the with movies like Pineapple

[Adam Carolla]

Express, the entire Star Trek film franchise

[Jay Moore]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Jay Moore]

Pluto TV stream now pay never

[Adam Carolla]

with VRBoCare.

[Rudy Pavage]

Help is always ready before, during, and after your stay.

[Adam Carolla]

We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the mindset. Free.

[Jay Moore]

This is the mantra. Free. This is the mindset. Mindset. With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire

[Adam Carolla]

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[Jay Moore]

TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the

[Adam Carolla]

Fairly Odd Parents and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free. Huzzah Pluto.

[Jay Moore]

TV stream now pay never.