Louie Anderson + Judd Apatow (Carolla Classics)

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show — “Louie Anderson + Judd Apatow (Carolla Classics)”

Date: November 14, 2025
Episode Overview:
This episode of The Adam Carolla Show compiles classic moments and highlight interviews with Louie Anderson and Judd Apatow, focusing on comedy, life lessons, parenthood, and the behind-the-scenes realities of show business. Expect Adam's candid rants, explorations of family dynamics, compelling insights about creative work, and lots of laughs along the way. The episode also features regular co-hosts Gina Grad and Brian Bishop, contributing their banter and perspectives.

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Main Themes & Purpose

• Exploring the Realities of Family, Parenting, and Habits: Adam Carolla dives into relatable family frustrations—particularly around his dog's sock-eating habit and the ongoing struggle to instill responsibility in his kids.
• Comedy, Creative Process, & Mentorship: Interviews with Louie Anderson and Judd Apatow dig into the roots of their comedic sensibilities, their upbringings, the challenges of success, and what it means to give back.
• The Difficulties of Progress, Change, and Consistency: Both in family life and in art, the recurring theme is the challenge of implementing lessons learned and getting others to follow through.
• A Glimpse Behind the Curtain of Hollywood: Both guests offer perspectives from their years in show business, sharing anecdotes that reveal both the glamour and the grind.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Family, Habits, and Parenting

(01:51–29:08)

• Ongoing Sock Saga: Adam's dog, Phil, repeatedly swallows socks and suffers seizures as a result. Adam expresses frustration over having the same conversation with his family about closing doors and keeping socks away from the dog, but still not seeing change.
  • "If there's a lament that I have in life, just a personal lament slash crusade... it's that I am going to have a conversation with you about what is going to happen that we both don't want to happen. So let's please not let this happen. And then it happens." — Adam Carolla [05:36]
• Personal Accountability: Adam reflects on his own "rewiring" that makes him correct mistakes immediately and permanently, lamenting that not everyone is wired this way.
  • "Not everyone is wired this way, but the people I know that are doing well in life have this wiring...You heard it once. Shame on me for doing it the first time, but it's never going to happen again." — Adam Carolla [12:27]
• Parenting Tactics: Adam shares the struggle between being "cool dad" versus strict dad, describing the futility and repetition of certain lessons.
  • "Let's not have 34 conversations about the same thing. Let's have one or maybe two, and then that shall be it. Like, that'll be it. This will serve you better than any amount of schooling, any class, anything you read online." — Adam Carolla to his daughter [20:19]
• Consequences: Eventually, Adam takes away his daughter's phone as a consequence for repeated infractions, highlighting the difficulty of seeing meaningful change.
  • "I said, look, we had the talk. The door was open once again, and now the phone's coming with me." — Adam Carolla [22:11]

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Comedy, Upbringing, and Success — Louie Anderson

(55:20–88:09)

• Louie’s Family & Childhood: Louie grew up as the 11th of 11 children, raised in poverty and dealing with an alcoholic father.
  • "We had no money, but we didn't dwell on it... we had enough money. We had food and clothing for the most part, but nothing special." — Louie Anderson [59:26]
• Resilience and Empathy: Both Adam and Louie exchange observations on how technology and wealth create new forms of dissatisfaction among today's children, as compared to ignorance as a kind of bliss in their own childhoods.
  • "Back in our day... there was no have and have nots, really, because you didn't have the Internet." — Adam Carolla [61:34]
• Finding Humor Early: Louie discusses inheriting humor from his parents and how his family coped by using laughs to manage chaos.
• On Depression, Compulsion, and Forgiveness: Louie shares his journey with compulsive overeating and self-forgiveness, discussing therapy and breaking family cycles.
  • "I come from a depressed family. I'm a compulsive eater... I've lost a chunk of weight. I don't talk pounds because it's destructive." — Louie Anderson [74:33]
• The Comic’s Mind & Misery: They explore how creative, sensitive people can be both highly attuned and highly prone to disappointment and depression.
  • "The more projects you have, the more plates you're spinning, and the more things that can go wrong... a little bit of a recipe for misery." — Adam Carolla [76:59]
• Iconic Anecdotes: Louie shares a memorable backstage story about Bob Hope, highlighting that even legends get hung up on small annoyances.
  • "He gets to the railing, he goes, God damn it, I almost fucking broke my neck on those cords right there..." — Louie Anderson [83:01]

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Movies, Media, and Reviews

(38:40–54:39)

• Ready Player One Review: Brian Bishop ("Bald Bryan") reviews Spielberg's Ready Player One, sparking discussion about the role of CGI in movies and generational perceptions of spectacle versus substance.
  • "If you see this movie, okay, you probably know already if this is the movie for you... it's really well done." — Brian Bishop [42:38]
  • "There's a baseline of comfort and competency, and it all just works." — Adam Carolla on modern movies [48:23]
• TV Commercial Pet Peeves: Adam rants about automotive ads with outlandish stunts or warnings, critiquing commercial cliches and safety notices.
  • "The biggest problem with this commercial is when he goes down to the deserted highway in a straight line, it goes: closed course, professional stunt driver, do not attempt." — Adam Carolla [32:34]

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Judd Apatow: On Comedy, Documentary, & Mentorship

(113:05–153:49)

• Career Parallels & Respect: Adam and Judd reflect on their overlapping career paths, comedic influences, and self-perception versus outside perception.
  • "I feel like our careers are turning into the same career...standup, making documentaries..." — Judd Apatow [115:33]
• The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling: Judd shares the creation of his acclaimed HBO documentary on Garry Shandling, delving into Shandling’s legacy, struggles, and philosophical turn later in life.
  • "In his journals near the end of his life, he just wrote: give to others. That's the win." — Judd Apatow [136:48]
• Creative Fulfillment, Doubt, and the Artist’s Journey:
  • "Welding is hard, but... there was a great joy in washing dishes... there's a mental stress in the arts that people don't understand..." — Judd Apatow [129:31]
• Mentorship & Showbiz Hurdles: Judd and Adam recount stories of rejection, artistic resilience, and the critical importance (or possible destructiveness) of early mentorship.
  • "If you said to George Carlin, hey, there's something here. If he crumpled it up and wiped his ass with it... that could stymie a career..." — Adam Carolla [167:27]
• Comedy as Therapy & Connection:
  • "Comedy becomes your escape pod." — Judd Apatow [123:26]
• Parenthood & Generational Change: Both men discuss the evolving nature of parenting, music tastes, and the headstrong personalities of their children.
  • "Raising my daughter is like raising three people. And raising my son is like raising one old cat." — Adam Carolla [157:40]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Habits, Change, and Family:

• "You can always tell it's like this. When cars and motorcycles go around corners at a pace that is impossible...you can go Fast and Furious and jump one car to another building, fine. But when the cars are doing things cars can't do and it seems sort of animated, then I get bumped..." — Adam Carolla [03:17]

On Comedy & Depression:

• "Comics...a little back and forth, you know, as far as can get really depressed and isolate and those kind of things." — Louie Anderson [75:06]

On the Artist's Dilemma:

• "There's never been a better time to be poor because you can get flat screen TVs for $89... never been a worse time to be rich." — Adam Carolla [205:09]

Judd Apatow on Lessons from Garry Shandling:

• "That's all Gary ever preached: truth. Getting to the core, going as deep and as complex as you can get in the work." — Judd Apatow [151:47]

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Important Timestamps

• Parenting & Sock Saga: [01:51–29:08]
• Review of Ready Player One & Movie Pet Peeves: [38:40–54:39]
• Louie Anderson Interview: [55:20–88:09]
• Bob Hope Backstage Story: [83:01]
• Judd Apatow: Garry Shandling, the Creative Journey: [113:05–153:49]
• On Mentorship & Industry Disappointments: [167:27]
• March Gradness & Banter: [180:51–188:00]

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Tone and Style

The episode brims with Adam Carolla’s characteristic no-nonsense, plainspoken humor, peppered with exasperation-tinged rants, playful asides, and a healthy dose of self-awareness. Louie Anderson brings warmth, honesty, and humility, while Judd Apatow offers an affable, reflective presence. Co-hosts Gina Grad and Brian Bishop add light banter, wry observations, and trivia. The entire episode maintains a conversational, off-the-cuff style, moving fluidly from personal anecdotes to industry analysis and back.

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Takeaways

• Change is Hard: Whether in families or in society, meaningful, consistent change is rare and requires more than just talk—a central point in Adam’s ongoing saga with his kids and dog.
• Comedy is Both Salvation and Burden: For Louie and Judd, laughs are a means of coping, a source of connection, and a career path fraught with disappointment, but also capable of transformation and satisfaction.
• Mentorship Matters: The power of encouragement (and, conversely, the destructiveness of discouragement) can alter trajectories in comedy and beyond.
• Stay Open to Growth: Both interviews encourage adaptation, introspection, and the pursuit of truth, whether in the home, on stage, or behind the camera.

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This episode is essential listening for fans of comedy, parents, creators, or anyone who’s ever struggled to get others to simply close the door behind them.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Judd Apatow]

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[Judd Apatow]

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[Adam Carolla]

Welcome to Corolla Classics.

[Judd Apatow]

I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights and fans like.

[Judd Apatow]

The clips from all 16 years of the Adam Corolla Show.

[Adam Carolla]

There is a Corolla Classics podcast dedicated to just this show with the replays.

[Judd Apatow]

Of the Adam Carolla Show.

[Adam Carolla]

You can find the ad free archives through podcast one.

[Judd Apatow]

If you'd like access to the ad free archives, the Adam Carolla show, the.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam and Dr. Drew show, or exclusive access to the brand new podcast Beat It Out. Make sure to check out Adam Carolla's substack adamcola.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsdamcorla.com now on to the clips coming up.

[Judd Apatow]

First we have Adam Carolla show 2296.

[Adam Carolla]

Featuring Louis Anderson, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop. This one's from 2018. Hope you guys enjoy. Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you, Dan Baldbryan Mira.

[Gina Grad]

No me Mira.

[Adam Carolla]

Yo Ted, I'm ready for this review coming up here. I'm sort of interested in it.

[Brian Bishop]

So Lynette saw it and Stunny saw it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And it was.

[Gina Grad]

What are we talking about?

[Brian Bishop]

My player one.

[Gina Grad]

Gotcha.

[Adam Carolla]

My problem is I was explaining to Lynette that I don't like movies that go into this sort of hyper reality. Whatever. And I might not be for you. I kept saying, well, it never comes.

[Brian Bishop]

Out of the hyper reality.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's weird. At some point I just got to get a hat that Shows what I'm thinking on, like, a small. Like a small LCD screen to put on top of my head. Because I say it's just. I don't like all the cgi. Keep saying cgi. And she's like, cgi. You love cgi. Like, it's always weird when you're telling someone, like, I don't want all the. What about Kong Skull Island? I go, no, I'm. I mean, all the animation, like, the anime. And she's going, it's not animated. And I'm going, I have seen the.

[Brian Bishop]

Commercials draw the line between Kong is an animated character, and there are plenty of animated beings and beasts in that movie. Where do you draw the line? Well, you know, when you see it, like, the Supreme Court.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, if you. Yes. If you can do a effective giant chimp that's swatting helicopters, then I'm completely fine with it. You have to be if you're gonna enjoy action movies these days. Like, look, you do Transformers, and the thing goes from a Corvette or Camaro into a megabot, and that's fine. I don't go, oh, fake. Oh, come on. If you make it look right, it looks right. There's a realm where it starts to become sort of animated. And also, you can always tell it's like this. When cars and motorcycles go around corners at a pace that is impossible. When they go around the corner and they just go, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip. And it's like, that can't happen. You can go fast and furious and jump one car to another building, fine. But when the cars are doing things cars can't do and it seems sort of animated, then I get bumped or whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you're going to want to pay attention to this review.

[Adam Carolla]

It is definitely the cars and motorcycles going around city street corners in, like, Tokyo too quickly without any sort of repercussions.

[Brian Bishop]

They don't adhere to the laws of physics.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So I was trying to kind of explain that that's not my bag, but I don't know. All I know is I was watching the commercial, and it went from real life and then morphed into that world. And when it morphs into that world, I'm usually out. But then it got pretty good, you know, pretty, like 75s. Like, straight across the board over on Rotten Tomatoes. So not. Not too shabby. So anyway, we'll cover all of this.

[Brian Bishop]

In a few minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

Lynette, Natalia once saw it, and. Yeah, first, let's see. Oh, I want to thank our sponsors for this half of the show. Honey, that's go to joinhoney.com adam and you can try it out for free. I'll tell you all about that. So, Gina, in a minute. Lifelock, of course. Go to lifelock.com comment or Adam conditional. 10% off. And okay, so I was in a horrible mood earlier today because I've been doing all right. I've been doing pretty good. Pretty good. But there's this theme.

[Brian Bishop]

Can you count to five? Let it wash over you?

[Adam Carolla]

I did not. I did not let it wash over me. And I did not count to five with the fly on my nose and the two cream pies in each hand. I. It's a, it's a, it's a personal. If there's, if there, if there's a lament that I have in life, just a personal lament slash crusade slash what have you, it's a, I am going to have a conversation with you about what is going to happen that we both don't want to happen. So let's please not let this happen. And then it happens, and then it happens again and then it happens for a 31st time and I start going insane because I can't figure out why we're having this conversation and why it's undoable.

[Brian Bishop]

Now I get, well, that's your second lament. Your first lament in life is.

[Judd Apatow]

Well.

[Adam Carolla]

That'S what I say about this. The lament is this. The sound is what you captured so eloquently.

[Brian Bishop]

It's the physical manifestation of your laments.

[Adam Carolla]

My dog eats socks. And when he eats socks, no matter what time he devours the sock. He then throws up the sock on the shag carpet next to the bed at. Well, he managed to get all the carpet on Sunday night, but he does the carpet, he throws the sock back up. He can't pass the sock and he cannot throw the sock up while the sun is shining or while there are folks that are alert and awake around him. It has to happen between 3:55 and 5:40am Peak disorientation time. Yes. And he's 110 pounds and he's very strong. And when he goes into puke mode, the whole neighborhood wakes up. And then he goes into a seizure when the vomit then throwing up the sock triggers a seizure. And the seizure is mighty powerful because he's 110 pound dog and he seizures out big time and he'll scratch the paint off the door. And it's a lot of animal to have a seizure. So of course this is something we would like to avoid. At least I Would. And actually, Lynette would like to avoid it more than me because while I love the carpet more than her, she loves Phil five times as much as I love the carpet.

[Gina Grad]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, wow.

[Gina Grad]

Well, more than you.

[Brian Bishop]

Goes with that saying, yes, the community of property.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, there's the disconnect. You don't want this thing to happen, but it does happen with a lot of consistency, which is one of my overarching themes in life. And I notice it with many people I've dealt with in my trials and tribulations and my journey through life, which is people that really don't want things to happen, truly. But it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. And my thing is, it doesn't have to happen. We can do things to prevent it from happening.

[Brian Bishop]

What's the action item in this case?

[Gina Grad]

The sock.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's the sock, and it's the access to the socks.

[Gina Grad]

No socks in this house.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's the difficult part.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the linchpin to this whole no seizure thing.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Right now, Phil has a couple of sock modes. He can come into your room and grab your sock when it's on the floor, or he can take it from next to the side of the pool before you spontaneously jump in the pool. Wherever the socks are, he's able to access them. Now, there are two remedies, as far as I can tell. There's shut your door religiously to your room and latch it, and then you can leave your socks wherever you like, or you can do as I do, which is when the socks come off, they will stay in my hand and go into the hamper. We had a very long sock safety conversation one night some weeks ago with Phil sawing logs on the bed, lying on top of the comforter. And at a certain point after our lengthy sock safety conversation, Phil got up to go into the next room to expose the two socks he was laying on.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Which were on top of the bed. Now, the part where you wear socks and then remove socks when you're done, I'm not confused about that part. And the thing that's interesting about socks.

[Brian Bishop]

It all adds up.

[Gina Grad]

They have to come off eventually.

[Adam Carolla]

Many other things like this is when you tell people about it, they explain to you what happened. They go, I had my socks on. I was watching tv, and I took my socks off. So that's what happened.

[Gina Grad]

I hope you feel pretty stupid right now.

[Adam Carolla]

I understand this process. And what I'm saying is, is we need to be very diligent about this, because the Dog's having seizures in the middle of the night.

[Gina Grad]

Is this a family problem? This is not just a child problem. Right. Well, is this an everyone but you problem?

[Brian Bishop]

Olga's leaving socks everywhere.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the thing about the way I've. Sorry, let me be clear. Let's not mistake it. I almost said the thing about the way I'm wired. No, no, I am not wired. I have no wiring this way. But I'll answer it this way. The thing about the way I've rewired myself over the years by being sometimes tough on myself is when I hear something, it's one and done, you correct it immediately. I have a bathroom fan and a heater and it blows the hot air and it's kind of. You turn it on 10 minutes before you get in the shower, and then we get out, it's nice and toasty and whatever. And if Lynette said, I came home at 1 o' clock and that fan was blowing all the hot air, you must have been on for hours. Could you remember to shut it off before you leave? I would say, oh, I was in there and I guess I was in a hurry or something. Sorry, but the idea of that ever happening again is soul crushing to me. Like, I would be. My goal would be nobody, especially Annette, could never return and ever find that fan going on again. If she did, it'd have to be six years from now. It couldn't be in a week or two weeks. I would kill myself. That's just like. I never want this to happen again. I feel bad. It happened the first time, can never happen again. Thus is my wiring.

[Gina Grad]

Your new wiring.

[Adam Carolla]

My new wiring. Thank you. Not everyone is wired this way, but the people I know that are doing well in life have this wiring. It's not a, oh, you're so bad, or this is humiliating, or this is embarrassing, or you're a horrible father or horrible Christian or whatever it is. It's just something happened. You heard it, you didn't want it to happen. And you're in charge of your own dirigible. You're flying your own balloon through life. You can prevent this, and only you and you shall do it. And you heard it once. Shame on me for doing it the first time, but it's never going to happen again. It's a good way to go. That's a way you should hope your kids go. There's not as much of that going on around the house as we'd like. Now, Sonny's very coachable. He just do this, don't do this. His door's boom shut. Not so much. So I have the conversations because I'm trying to be cool dad, not get me a switch from the yard Dad. I do the.

[Brian Bishop]

You were both. Hey, bro, give me a switch from the yard hang.

[Adam Carolla]

So, for the past number, ever since we'd found out that Phil devours socks and then has seizures in the middle of the night caused by the throwing up of the sock, I have made the decree. The bathroom door and your bedroom doors must be shut. They just must be shut.

[Brian Bishop]

That's reasonable.

[Adam Carolla]

And Sonny was one and done with that. And Natalia. Okay, so Sunday, Easter, Natalia decided to jump in the pool spontaneously. And I was in my office, and then I just heard, Phil, no, Phil, no. No, drop, drop, drop. No, no, Phil, no drop, drop, drop, drop. And I was like. I looked at.

[Gina Grad]

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[Adam Carolla]

I went outside, and Phil was standing in the middle underneath the trampoline, which is like his safe haven. Like, you can't get down. Someone's gonna have to get down on a mechanic's creeper if you want to go get Phil. And he was sitting there, and then a horrified Lynette said, he just swallowed the whole sock. He said, we'll see that in about eight hours. All right? So he's going to get upset. Our alarms for 4, 14. And so I said, okay. Whose sock was it? Natalia's. I said, all right. It's all part of my new process. I said, count to five, Natalia, where did he get the sock? Then she gave the answer that many adults I know give, but I'd like to prevent her from going into adulthood with this mindset. Listen, you hang around with Ray and Donnie or whatever those guys are, 50, you'll get these answers all day long. I'm trying to prevent that. I said, natalia, where did Phil get the sock? And she said, the ground.

[Brian Bishop]

Her story checks out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

It's not wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

We're not in the Soyuz space lab over here. You're saying the gravity took it down to the ground? Damn you, Newton. Damn you.

[Brian Bishop]

Look at you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yet now, when I talk about the language of losers, this is sort of what I'm talking about. This is a child child's version of Dylan triple checking on something he didn't single check on. It's oh, man, I'm gonna get out. Oh, ground you are. Speaking of ground, guess who's grounded ground? You. No cell phone for you.

[Brian Bishop]

You fooled me once.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, well, we're not gonna do much about terra firma in this equation.

[Brian Bishop]

So what can we control?

[Adam Carolla]

Hmm. I wonder if she blames the buildings for 9 11.

[Gina Grad]

There's a Reddit.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll have to look into that. I'll have to look into that. I'll ask her. But my feeling is we can blame the ground, but I feel like the ground's gonna be there hopefully for a while. So let's focus on other things we can control, because the ground, not so much.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a fixed element, right?

[Adam Carolla]

So I said, yeah, but who put the socks on the ground? It's interesting that we have to get into multiple life, but then again, I do this with many adults in my life as well, so it's not bad for an 11 year old. And then she said, well, I took my socks off just momentarily sort of out in the yard with Phil to jump in the pool. And I said, yes. And you took them off and you dropped them on the ground instead of putting them up on the picnic table or wherever. Patio furniture up on the shelf where Phil couldn't get it. And she said, that's right. And then we all lamented the fact that Phil was gonna be yakking this thing up somewhere around 5am and we tried to and then would go into a seizure. I then had the conversation, which was, when we were leaving for brunch this morning, your door was wide open. I shut it. And then Phil had his 5am seizure. Now this one is funny. We took old beach towels and we spread them out on a monk, all about the shag carpet where he usually yaks into. And he did successfully get the beach towel with the sock that he yacked into. Then he took five steps, landed on the wall to wall shag in my office, and started having a seizure where he just starts foaming at the mouth. So the plan of keeping the slobber off the carpet kind of worked. But then he stumbled ahead another X amount of feet and had one of his horrible seizures on my carpet. I woke up to Lynette, you know, practically in tears, trying to, like, soothe him while his paws are moving and stuff and just the kind of restful.

[Brian Bishop]

Night you hope for after the holiday.

[Adam Carolla]

You're right. And then the following morning when I got up, everyone had left for school. Natalie's door was wide open. So I said, look, hold on, I Got you. Why? Why? Why? Why? We can control this. We can do something. It can be done. We just. But we have to do it. And it's bordering on a little unfair if you're going to not do this because you could kill the dog, but.

[Brian Bishop]

You'Re also held a risk.

[Adam Carolla]

I work pretty hard. It'd be nice to have a couple of these things come to fruition. Some of my declarations. It'd be nice if someone wrote them down. I had a conversation Sunday night, which is always the funny part about this, which is my. This is my part of, like, again, back to 9 11. Like, of course they caught us off guard because you don't think like a terrorist. You're like, who would fly a plane into a building, you know?

[Gina Grad]

But I was Natalia the terrorist.

[Adam Carolla]

I had a talk.

[Brian Bishop]

We ate quite an accusation.

[Adam Carolla]

Sunday night. Sunday night, Lynette and Sonny went to go see the movie, and Lynette makes some. Baked some delightful chicken, and we stayed home and we ate it. And I just said the. Look, Natalia, it's going to be a long life. It's not going to be a good life, and it's going to be a long life. If this is your modality. You must hear what I say or what teachers say or what anyone says, and you must implement. You have to do it. Like, you cannot. Let's not have 34 conversations about the same thing. Let's have one or maybe two, and then that shall be it. Like, that'll be it. It's going to. This will serve you better than any amount of schooling, any class, anything you read online. This. This one thing will serve you better than anything. Talk about it, work it out, bring it up, and then execute. And from that day on, that's it. You leave the room, the door shut, you take the socks off. They're in the hamper. That's it. We'll never discuss it again, and it'll be much better life for you.

[Gina Grad]

Daddy, stop talking.

[Adam Carolla]

Which she seemed to understand because she nodded her head while she was eating chicken.

[Gina Grad]

When do we start treating her like the pool guy and saying, look, hundred dollars off the paycheck if you don't shut that gate.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, then when I got up on Monday morning and the phone was. And the door was wide open on Monday, I would agree that I don't want to throw Sunny under the bus, but it'd be a good idea for everyone to be deputized. Take a quickie, quick look and pull that door shut before you leave. But okay, one of those that falls.

[Brian Bishop]

Under not your responsibility, but better for the whole.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So the door was open. So I took the phone away on Monday night.

[Gina Grad]

Ooh, that had to hurt.

[Adam Carolla]

And she just handed it over. She didn't argue too much. I said, look, we had the talk. The door was open once again, and now the phone's coming with me. Good.

[Brian Bishop]

I like that consequence.

[Adam Carolla]

Why don't you.

[Brian Bishop]

Why don't you just take away all our socks and then she can leave the door open.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's good.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, there are many discussions. Like, I have this discussion a lot with people. Like, people will tweet me and go, you need to get a pneumatic closer and hire a large black man and a turtleneck sweater with one of those counters to, like, stand to man the door. And then, you know, my answer is, or. Or maybe, just maybe, hear me out, just do what I asked to do, and then we can get the fuck on with our lives. Like, maybe, just maybe. But I agree, nobody's. Look, I have pneumatic closers at the other shop. I can't. I've put up. You can do a poll on this entire block and get a headcount of men that have put up pneumatic closures and then add all those numbers together and I've done more buy my lonesome so I could do it.

[Gina Grad]

That's not the point.

[Adam Carolla]

But I think, you know, when Olga's like, bring in the basket of lawn. Like, she's got to back it in and push it in now and stuff because the door's slamming shut. Like, could just do what we talked about doing, mitigate it all. Be nice. But I understand it's difficult for many people and their wiring. I'm asking to change. Changed a wire. So.

[Brian Bishop]

And it's sort of inherent in a child mostly to not think about others as much as you think about yourself. So it has to be trained for the most part.

[Gina Grad]

Hopefully you grow out of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Hopefully, yeah. Tempting.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the test. The.

[Adam Carolla]

Tempting to do that, but. So took the phone away and cleaned up the carpet. And then this morning, I got up, and now, to be fair, the door's been shut. Sort of half shut. Shut. A jar, like, shut. But anyone who knows, Phil, anyone around here knows that guy's a door pusher. He is. He's no tub thumper, but he's a door pusher. He will come in and lean against the door and bang against it. Like he. His whole deal is, I want to go in there, and if he can't go in there, he'll take his weight and just lean against it and sleep there until it's time to go in there. When Drew and I do our podcast, he's always pushing on the door, trying to get in, like he's pawing at everything. So he's very good at that. And this morning, I got up, and as I was leaving, I was happy to see that Natalia's door was closed.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, it's working.

[Adam Carolla]

But then I do what I do, not what I want to do. What I'm forced to do, compelled to do, compelled to do. And people think I want to do it. I don't want to do any of this. I'd like to live in a world where I never had the conversation ever. Or just had it once.

[Brian Bishop]

This is though. God's hand forced you.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a weird. It's kind of a weird thing where it's like you like coaching everybody up. No, I don't. I just want to say it one time and get on with it, but I understand that's not the way life works, but went over and I said, you know what? And I pushed on the door, and it just popped open.

[Brian Bishop]

Literally. Baby steps.

[Adam Carolla]

And then the five count with the fly on the nose. Uh oh, it went the way the.

[Gina Grad]

Dodo cream pie right in the face.

[Adam Carolla]

I said, now, I told Natalia the night before. And if you look at my garage door, from the garage door into the. Into the house, there's big Sharpie that says lock and arrows. And I do a lot of painting. Fingernail polishing, thumb turns on deadbolts, and then putting fingernail polish to line up because people have difficulty. It's lots of, like, weekends going by and then like, oh, the French doors in the hall have just been open the entire time. Like, why? Because the maid went out that way and then came back. It's like, yeah, I know, but why didn't she lie? You know, Lot of. Lot of that. So lots of marks, lots color coding. Put the 3 inch big sheet metal screw on top of the toaster oven. Cause the microwave cover, the plastic microwave cover kept getting set on it and then melted and things of that nature. So I'm used to riding on doors and pointing with arrows and riding lock and stuff. And it doesn't look good.

[Brian Bishop]

We cut to 50 years from now, a realtor is showing off the house. Are those markings on the deadbolt's original? Yes, they are, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

I shall paint them, but I don't like it. And it's also kind of a. It's a little sad. It Means you're not really able to accomplish things. But I popped that door open this morning, and I said, God damn it. And I just went. I went full Jack Nicholson in the Shining.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, boy.

[Adam Carolla]

I said, I, I. I reached for a Sharpie, and it's like the Sharpie was dry, and I just grabbed a ballpoint pen and I just literally like, half, half carved and half. Half blue ballpoint. Just shut, shut, close door with, like, big arrow and, like, lines on, like, scratch. Yeah. Oh, we have it all. We have to do that all over the house all the time.

[Brian Bishop]

The typing scene would be very different.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, is Roarker than he.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So that was. That was disappearing. We'll see. Now the door's semi desecrated, but maybe. Maybe it makes a difference. Maybe it'll work. I don't know. What do you guys. I mean, I think the dog's gonna die one of these. One of these times, cutting off your.

[Brian Bishop]

Nose to spite your face kind of thing. I mean, it's a house.

[Gina Grad]

You paid for the house.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I ultimately were. You know, I'm an atheist. We're just gonna die soon. Like, I. I don't care. I need the door shut because I can't have. I don't want any more seizures.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the ultimate goal, and I don't blame you there. Get him to the middle. And it's the worst with trauma. The dog's. The dog feels like it's dying.

[Gina Grad]

I think it's gonna be more of the phone stuff. Whatever. She loves you gotta dock the pay you got. Oh, you could be one of those Instagram parent.

[Brian Bishop]

I was gonna say, this is Tessa's dad. Or Tessa, this is Natalia's dad. Natalia didn't let or lock her socks up tonight, so she's grounded. Please tell all her friends.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, make her a sandwich board.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I've seen those videos. I take the dog out in the back and shoot it.

[Gina Grad]

That's a different video.

[Adam Carolla]

You saw that one cowboy guy.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a different kind of.

[Adam Carolla]

That thing blew up the Internet. What'd he do? Shot his.

[Gina Grad]

He shot a computer.

[Adam Carolla]

Computer?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but this isn't about a computer. It's about a dog. Do the math.

[Brian Bishop]

Logically, it makes sense. Practically make Natalia chiffon.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

So that was awesome. How dare you? This went very dark. All right, let's see. All right, so we'll see what happens now. The door's been desecrated.

[Brian Bishop]

Indeed.

[Adam Carolla]

But we'll see what happens now. I don't worry that much about things. Because I can fix everything and paint everything and do whatever to everything. I don't like living in it. But on the other hand, tell her.

[Brian Bishop]

If you want it fixed, you gotta paint it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that doesn't work. Nobody paints.

[Brian Bishop]

People are gonna. Her friends are gonna come over the house and see your door and be like, what's up? I didn't close my door. Blah, blah, blah. She said, what? That painted.

[Adam Carolla]

You'd be surprised.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm thinking to myself, I wouldn't want something like that if they're. Well, maybe I was able.

[Adam Carolla]

You had that shame gear, I think. Yeah, yeah, you gotta have that gear. Hey, Evan. 31, New Jersey. What's going on? Hey, you know what? I can't believe I didn't mention Here. I'm sorry. You caught me off guard before, by the way. I've been talking to my bosses at the bar. Now, that's getting a little warmer out. We're about. Not quite a mile from this strip club and we were gonna. I'm trying to organize an RCS march, by the way. Another thing. He caught me off guard. I wasn't thinking. Oh, Restless Cock syndrome. Of course, of course. It's an epidemic these days. Awareness for awareness. You're right. You're right. Yeah, that's true. Thank you. Go ahead, Evan. You want to talk about a Audi commercial? Yeah. All right. So this guy. There's a commercial just came out. You catch it on. There's a short boozer, not a Hulu, right? And this guy essentially was part of some government insider deal, and they're putting in witness protection and everything like that. So they go, all right, here's your id. Here's your passport. Here's your new house reporting in. And here's a boring crossover suv. It's like a Lexus.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And the guy goes. The guy goes, I'll take my chances and actually drive it down the highway. And like, Smurkins. Like, are these people going to kill you? Like, definitely going to come kill you. But you're so into Audi SUVs. Are you just going to roll the dice? Yeah, well, at least there's. At least there's some theme other than good vibes and hugging it out with the referee. That said your son's foot was out of the back of the end zone in a rain storm. I should have mentioned he automatically drove that to his daughter's soccer game. And she's probably going to go pro one day, you know what I mean? So you gotta be there at the beginning with the suv. Before they put a couple bullets in the back of your head, you know? Yeah. Anything other than that Volvo commercial where the leader of Al Qaeda sitting there penning a note to his daughter who just got married, trying to keep his. Trying to keep his tears from ruining the beautiful Conley leather in there.

[Brian Bishop]

I think Evan's bringing his own personal stuff to this commercial.

[Adam Carolla]

I think so, too.

[Brian Bishop]

I think he's actually that bad of a spot.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it sounds kind of fast and furious.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Brian Bishop]

Have you guys seen this spot?

[Adam Carolla]

No, but I. It sounds like it's got an arc and a beginning, a middle, and end.

[Brian Bishop]

It has a comically absurd ending where he's like, we need you to Bring.

[Adam Carolla]

Him down, Mr. Stevens.

[Brian Bishop]

Totally anonymous.

[Gina Grad]

Your testimony will save lives.

[Adam Carolla]

We thank you for your courage.

[Gina Grad]

But as you know, you are now in terrible danger.

[Adam Carolla]

There's also these commercials that don't show the product until the last four seconds. I think Audi pioneered that, not showing.

[Gina Grad]

The product commercial for the foreseeable future. This is your new name. This is your new house.

[Adam Carolla]

Your new bank account. Really?

[Gina Grad]

And a perfectly inconspicuous suv. You must become invisible. Shots fired.

[Brian Bishop]

How he tears down the road.

[Adam Carolla]

Take my chances.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, that's not a bad spot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Brian Bishop]

It's.

[Adam Carolla]

It's fine. Everyone go along with this. The biggest problem with this commercial is when he goes down to the deserted highway in a straight line, it goes closed course. Professional stunt driver. Do not attempt.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, don't attempt the drive down the highway.

[Adam Carolla]

Cancel our trip to the. To the Grand Canyon. Sweetie. This car cannot be brought on the road. Evidently, unless we hire Joey Chitwood and his thrill team to pilot it. Like, oh, maybe I. I have a vintage. I have an SCCA racing license. Maybe I can drive a car. But we couldn't left. Let the wife drive it.

[Brian Bishop]

What's more ridiculous when that happens, there's something incredibly ordinary that says, do not attempt, or something impossible. And it says, do not attempt.

[Gina Grad]

It stops midair.

[Adam Carolla]

I am. When the guy in the Hummer goes off the end of the pier, just drives that Humvee off the end of the pier, goes into the Santa Monica Bay, and the thing turns into a submarine and he goes to Atlantis. And I am perturbed that it says, do not attempt. But I understand there's some population. Part of the population that's half monkey and other half is alligator.

[Brian Bishop]

They don't close their doors and protect their socks.

[Adam Carolla]

They couldn't afford that car, but okay, they saw somebody drive. Maybe they're high on basalts. And they saw them drive off the thing. And I'm sort of amused by that. The one where you're just literally going in a straight line in the middle of the desert with no traffic coming any other direction. Do not attempt. Is saying you cannot own. I don't know how you get the car back from the dealer. How would you get the car back from the dealer unless you hired a professional stunt driver to take it to your condo? Like you. Look, if driving in a straight line in the middle of the desert is a bridge too far, how do you go from that? Navigate getting through the city and back to your home or even back it up the driveway. I mean, that sounds like. That sounds a lot more difficult than going in a straight line. So. Yes. The somehow doing nothing. No, actually, the one that bumped me the most. Ah. Aha. There's a third category. Look for. I'm gonna tease it. There was a subaru spot from 06 or so.

[Gina Grad]

Look at you.

[Adam Carolla]

That had the cars driving around on the front wheels. And I will. I'll get into this. But there's a third category that upsets me. This is Brian. This is why I'm. This is why I'm doing this part.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Very good of you to notice. I'll tell you about Honey, man.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't change the channel.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't change the channel. Free browser extension that automatically finds the best coupons on the web, so you always get the best prices. Just two clicks to add any honey to any browser for free. Then shop like you normally do. I love this idea. Scans and tests millions of coupons in the background. At checkout, Honey will automatically apply the best coupon to get the biggest discount. Gina, what do you got going?

[Gina Grad]

I did this today, and I'm not great at figuring stuff out. This was so freaking easy. It's free. I bought a bulk of paper towels $12 off, and I didn't have to do anything. It just appeared and said, hey, you want to do this? It was this much, and now it's this much. Yes. Yes, I would.

[Adam Carolla]

I love this idea. Plus, we all do so much shopping online. Why not just let somebody find you the best coupons? Over 7 million people use honey every day. Never overpay for anything ever again. It's honey. Dawson, there's no reason not to add honey to your browser today. It's free. Just takes just seconds to install and will save you tons of money. Add honey to your browser free right [e-mail] that's join honey.com, adam. All right. So third category, there's the thing you would never do, like attempt to drive your Hummer off the pier, but technically could do it. And then there's the category of if I can't drive to Vegas at 63 miles an hour in a straight line, I'm not sure if I should own this vehicle if they're telling me this can't be done. But a third category, that it was a Subaru commercial used to drive me insane. Which is, I think they were illustrating that their cars are all wheel drive and many other cars are front wheel drive. And while the other cars, the competition is just driving around on their front wheels. So they had the car.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's as if the rear bumper was 6ft off the ground and everyone was just driving down their neighborhood streets with the rear end six foot off the ground. And that had the do not attempt. And I thought, well, now this is interesting water we're treading into. Because you could, as a manufacturer of automobiles, you can attempt this all day long because it's impossible to do. You can hop up and down, go over speed, bump and accelerate a little when the rear tires go over and then do a hot move and see if you can get airborne on it. But I don't think it's damn near physically impossible. I don't think so. I don't even want to prevent you from attempting it since you can't by.

[Gina Grad]

Means give it a go.

[Adam Carolla]

But it still had the do not attempt. Max patta. Maybe it's tough to find. Yeah, we're going through a bunch of maybe. Maybe you can find that. All right, Louie Anderson is out there. We have Baldiwood, do we not? I'm interested. Hurray for Baldiwood. He will tell you if a movie's good. Brian will review the flicks that he's seen on the big screen or in his Netflix queue.

[Judd Apatow]

Before you spend bucks, remember his taste sucks.

[Adam Carolla]

He loved that train wreck.

[Judd Apatow]

Piece of shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Transform us to Hooray for Baldywood.

[Brian Bishop]

Ready? Player One is in theaters now. It's directed by Steven Spielberg. It stars Ty Sheridan. Did you guys see Mud? The amethomic hobby a couple years ago? He was the kid in Mud. He's all grown up now. Olivia Cook, she was the dying girl in Me and Earl. The dying girl.

[Adam Carolla]

Good movie.

[Brian Bishop]

Ben Mendelsohn, he was the villain in Rogue One. His character actor you'd recognize if you saw him. TJ Miller, Simon Pegg and Mark Rylance. Like Adam said, sitting at 75% on Rotten Tomatoes based on Ernest Cline's 2011 novel. The rights to this movie actually sold. I think before the novel was published like that. Some really big advanced buzz and the novel was pretty big amongst a certain crowd. This is set in 2045, which feels way too soon because everyone. So Columbus, Ohio has become I think the, if not the world, the US's biggest city, the most populous city and people live in the stacks. They are literally trailer homes, a trailer park. But the trailers are stacked vertically like they are just piled on top of each other. And in order to escape this sort of dystopian life they're living in, everyone, it seems like, interacts in this online virtual reality world called the Oasis. And the Oasis is a seemingly infinite world where you interact with everyone and everything. And it populated what seems like by your the limits of your own imagination. Like the main character drives DeLorean from the back to the future. You populate it, it's crowd sourced. You populate it with what you know from popular culture, you know what I mean? There's an iron giant walking around like everything, everything is from something else to that point. Okay, and then, oh, and then. So the plot, that's the setup plot of the film is that the co creator of the two creators were Simon Pegg and Mark Rylance. So you might remember from Bridge of Spies, the older guy from Bridge of Spies.

[Gina Grad]

Oh sure.

[Brian Bishop]

Oscar Wilde.

[Gina Grad]

Oscar, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

They co created the Oasis and he recently died. Mark Rylance. But he left a video and the video says to everyone says well actually you know what, let's hear. There's not a lot very hard. There's no standalone clips to find online for this. So here is a brief TV spot. It's a little bit, you know, it's not, it's condensed but you get the idea. Here he is explaining the rules of this, this game. He set forth.

[Adam Carolla]

Hello, I'm James Halliday. Before I died I created an Easter egg. The first person to find the egg hidden inside the Oasis will inherit half a trillion dollars and total control of the Oasis itself.

[Brian Bishop]

So the plot of the film, plot of film is that there is this Easter egg that exists somewhere in this infinite online shared virtual reality universe. And you must. He's left three keys and they have to be undone by like riddles or challenges or something. And you've got to. It's a video game. It's a video game movie. You see more and more of these these days where here is the levels you must beat and you must ascend to this final place where you must be beat. The final. Blah, blah, blah.

[Adam Carolla]

Max and Pat, I do believe this thing is just like 75 straight across the board on Rotten Tomatoes with the audience and the top critics. You don't have to tell me if it's 74 or 76, but it's pretty much. I just took a glance at it and it was like, all right, they have a consensus. That seems to be pretty good. Better than average movie, but nobody thought it was great.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. So it's more of an event than a movie. And with movies like this, every once in a while you get these big, huge event movies, movies. And everyone kind of the reviews fall in this chasm between 70 and 75 or somewhere in that neighborhood to that point. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We can all agree that was a terrible movie. No one liked it. It's at 77%. Like, it's just once movies get so big.

[Adam Carolla]

77 across the board, though, like with people. I don't know. I bet there's some people pushing back on it. But anyway, sorry, continue.

[Brian Bishop]

So if you see this movie, okay, you probably know already if this is the movie for you. Like Adam said, if you're not, if this rubs you the wrong way, the idea of a virtual world, it's mostly animated. I would say this film is 65% an animated film. Computer animated, but animated. And it's really well done. It is impossible to imagine at this point another movie coming out this year that's going to win the Oscar for special effects. It is. It's an incredible achievement in special effects. That said, if that rubs you the wrong way or if you're just not into that whole world building thing, it's probably not the movie for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let me say this, it is.

[Brian Bishop]

Going to be the movie for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me just jump in here. Anyone who's having any kind of interaction with bald Brian, whether you're a co worker, wife, movie maker, tailor or soldier or spy, tinker tailor, when he starts off and says, you are the best cobbler in town, nobody handles shoe leather like you do. And no one puts a shine on a pair of saddle shoes like you do. When you get that little beat, you dive out of any open window because there will be an inhale. And then this phrase. That being said, and then whatever, whether you're a daughter, wife, a co worker, a neighbor, again, a cobbler, it does not matter. You own a deli. This is the best. This is the best pastrami Reuben I've ever had in my life. Tangy tart, savory, sweet. That being said, now you gotta get out before that being said comes in. You take that compliment, you just dive out of a window.

[Brian Bishop]

What you just said is one of the most insightful, smart, pinpoint accurate descriptions of me. That said, in this respect, I will say this movie is getting kind of, you know, some pushback. It's 75%. It's not, you know, it's not 80 or 85 or higher. There are some flaws with this movie. It is overwhelming at times. Like the. I could watch this movie 100 times and I don't think I would see everything I meant to see. Like, there are so many things hidden away and tucked away in this movie. Maybe that's part of the charm. I know Kalin saw it. Kalin, do you like this movie? I imagine you liked it very much.

[Judd Apatow]

I did.

[Brian Bishop]

I really enjoyed it. I imagine this is up Caitlin's aisle.

[Adam Carolla]

How high were you on? I'm not going 0 to 10. I'm going to 7 to 10. So I already have you to 7.

[Brian Bishop]

I would. I would go honestly, more like 7.5 out of 10.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

So we're starting at 7.

[Gina Grad]

Functional.

[Adam Carolla]

We're not. You're 7.5 out of 10 in the high department.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

It's reasonable.

[Adam Carolla]

That's why I start at 7. Why waste all the time with these 0 or 1 2? Let's just start at our baseline, which is 7, but only half above that. Okay. Correct. Good.

[Brian Bishop]

So you heard the music they used in 2001, right? There's a definite Stanley Kubrick vibe in this. Spielberg, you know, was friends with Kubrick and loves him and put a lot of references to him in there. There's a lot of. As you can imagine, it's kind of like Willy Wonka and the golden ticket, you know, with the whole mission. Kids gotta find it. And there. Apparently Spielberg wanted this to be Gene Wilder in the Marc Rylance role. He actually offered him the part, but I think he was suffering from Alzheimer's or dementia at that point. It wasn't long for this world.

[Gina Grad]

Is there at least, like, a dystopian future element to it that everyone's trying to escape? Or is it just like, everything's good and here's a video game?

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, no. That's the underlying thing with the trailer. Okay. So because it's Steven Spielberg, you never lose the through line. Like, he's a master story.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a gifted maker. It's only gonna be so, you know, is it 40? 20, 45. Because the book was written 41 years ago and they.

[Brian Bishop]

No, the book was written 10 years ago.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, 10 years ago.

[Brian Bishop]

Eight years ago.

[Adam Carolla]

Eight years ago. Oh, so it's not that long. Okay. Usually sometimes when they don't jump far enough ahead in the future, it's because they wrote the book in the 60s or something. I thought, buy this. But anyone who drives the 5 Freeway to Irvine knows that we've been working on the same stretch of asphalt for 14 years. So we don't move as fast as we think we're gonna move.

[Brian Bishop]

So if you are gonna see it, seen the theater, it's a spectacle. If you know this is not the movie for you, I'm not gonna be the guy to convince you it's for you. I don't even think it's for most people. For all people. I'm dying to know if Sonny liked it or not, because I have a hunch. I think this is your 13 year old's new favorite movie.

[Adam Carolla]

He liked it a lot. I didn't hear any favorite. You know he liked Black Panther. I know. We should ask him. Mama said it was all right, but kind of not for her.

[Brian Bishop]

But I feel like Lynette's movie, the thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. And Sonny. I was skimming through the channels last night. I'll let you know. Bring it home. Oh, and then.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. So if you're 13 years old, this is your new favorite movie. If not, you know, there's. There's some good stuff here.

[Adam Carolla]

Hooray for bounty.

[Brian Bishop]

So I couldn't be more enthusiastic about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, pretty good.

[Gina Grad]

Honest.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's the bottom line with movies, or much of which is like what I say about cars. And I'll explain what happened to me last night. First off, I'll tell you about LifeLock. Another data breach. Uh oh. Orbits this time may have compromised over almost 900,000 customers. Hackers access credit card numbers, names, dates, birth, phone numbers, addresses. Oh boy. Everybody, come on now. Today you got to stay connected with the world. But then there's weak links out there, and the criminals get in and they steal your identity and they ruin your credit. Come on. New LifeLock identity theft protection. Adds Norton Security to help protect against threats to your identity and gives your devices the extra eyes that you don't really have. It detects things you can't see and it fixes stuff you cannot fix. Look, if you have a problem, they have agents and they will work to fix it. But you're not going to have a problem because you have lifelock. It's the industry standard. It's lifelock. Right, Dawson? That's right. No one can stop every cyber threat, prevent all identity theft, or monitor transactions at all businesses. But new LifeLock, with Norton Security, is able to uncover threats you might otherwise miss. Go to lifelong call 1-800-lifelock. Use promo code ADAM for an additional 10% off your first year. That's promo code ADAM for an additional ten percent off. What I wanted to say about Sonny in this favorite movie. Every time I take him to a movie, he goes, oh, man, that's awesome. And the reason he's saying that is because it is awesome. You take him to Fast and Furious, Fate of the Eight, he's like, oh, this is awesome. Then we go to Black Panther, and he goes, oh, this is awesome. And then. And he goes and sees the Spielberg movie, and he goes, oh, this is awesome. Because movies are awesome. They're like. It's like I said, it's like cars. I've said to people, I'm a car guy. What car should I get? Any car. They all work. I mean, look, I'll take a loaded Audi 8 series over a Kia. But the Kia is fine. Air conditioning blows cold. You put the thing in drive, it goes, you're not. Oh, I gotta regap the plugs and redo the points and get my feeler gauge. Everything just works. There's a baseline of comfort and competency, and it all just works. So. So there is no movie that it's like. It's like Kalin and his buzz when he goes into the movie. There's this seven and above. He's not. There's no more twos. There's no more. Hey, there's a big budget movie and it's a two, and it's going out there. I mean, it's visually going to be strong. It's. The sounds going to be great.

[Brian Bishop]

It's all in fantasy football. You say that the floor is very high. Like, it'll only be so bad.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He can see the worst Guardians of the Galaxy offering ever in the next 10 years, and it doesn't matter. It's still gonna be 10 times better than ever. Yes. Sharp contrast to that. I was just skimming around TV last night, just deep into cable, and Day of the Jackal came up, the original from, like, 1972. And I remember going, ooh, Day of the Jackal. I remember this. I was a kid. I was eight years old. And Day of the Jackal came to the movie theater next. And we just Went to go see Day of the Jackal because that was the movie that was at the theater and we needed air conditioning. That's why I went to the movie theater, was to get away from my movie mom and sit in air conditioning. And I watched Day of the Jackal and I've sat and watched this movie and I watched like 18 minutes of the movie. It was a dirge. It was the slowest, longest. Like it's not that. Oh, man. An eight year old Adam Krolish certainly wouldn't have been entertaining. A 53 year old Adam Kroll was bored off his ass. Like you have no idea the pace that they used to make these movies back then. And just shots where the guy gets out of the car, guy goes walking up to the office, like slow, slow, slow, walk, knock on the door, then walk. He could just be in the office. We can get out of the car and be in the office. The slowest, longest, no action, no nothing. That was it. Like you watch Day the Jackal at a certain point he tried to assassinate like, you know, Prime Minister or something. That was 160 minutes into the thing. Oh, Lord. There was just nothing. Just. There would just be nothing. So those are the movies we sort of are. I sort of had to watch. And now they're sunny. And so everything Sonny gets is going to be at least a feast for the eyes, if not the soul. All right, so when.

[Judd Apatow]

When.

[Adam Carolla]

When Rotten Tomatoes has it at 75 or whether people have it at probably higher. Yeah, Katie fan favorite, Regular Cricks have It is like 75. Whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

Like 76 and 74 between top and.

[Adam Carolla]

All that conversation we had a little. Yeah, okay.

[Brian Bishop]

More or less the same.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the same. They got at 75 and the people crept up a little. When I checked it a couple days ago, seemed to just be straight line across the thing. You have it at what?

[Brian Bishop]

No one in their right mind could say this is a bad movie. It's not a bad movie. It's certainly above average. It's well made, competently made for the subject matter. This could have been a bad movie. And it was perfectly reasonable if you.

[Adam Carolla]

Were to assign it a number. We all know how Rotten Tomatoes work. Please don't tweet us for. But just for the sake of this, the critics have it about 75. Oh, wait, 75 and a half. So says. So says Max pattern.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't add it.

[Adam Carolla]

Have it about 75. People have it about 80.

[Brian Bishop]

75 feels about right for any adult if I'm recommending it to a kid between the ages of 12 and 14. I'm giving it 110%.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow. They're going to love it for them. All right. Lou Anderson is out there. We're excited to bring him in. First, I'll tell you about Castrol Edge Tech advances, it made engines smaller and more powerful. Castrol Edge, I don't know if you guys know about this. They collaborated with Electronic Arts to present an adrenaline filled driving challenge called Titanium Gamer inspired by the need for speed video games. You find out if a real or computer base. Maybe we should get Spielberg into this project here. Figuring out whose driving skills are superior. See for yourself at Castrol Edge. And they deliver under the most demanding driving circumstances. Castrol Edge. Check it out@Castrol USA and Castrol USA YouTube page. You can check that out. Speaking of driving, this just in, sort of. I'm going to be Road Atlanta doing what's called the midi. It's a huge vintage racing event, probably second biggest in North America. Tons and tons of cars. Big exciting track. That's where Paul Newman won his four national championships at Road Atlanta. Very historic track. We are going to be there the last like 27th, 28th, 29th April. And we got a problem. We want to sell some Nissan. Nissan's the mark. So I'm bringing some of my cars out there. But we want to sell some DVDs. We could use some help. So if there's some people who are planning to be at that event or fans or carcass fans or Adam Croll fans or whatever, we do this all the time. Like someone will go, hey, I'm going to be there. Can I help you guys out in the pits? And we go, yeah. Yep. Bring your little red wagon and help us out. And they do. It's cool. So we're gonna need someone like we're gonna sell some DVDs. We need someone to like man the kiosk, you know.

[Gina Grad]

This is fun.

[Adam Carolla]

That's awesome. Gina.

[Brian Bishop]

I've never been to Atlanta. How about you?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, well, I was gonna say you have two people so you need two extra people. Seriously, what are we doing?

[Adam Carolla]

It's awesome. And Road Atlanta is awesome. And also we're gonna be filming some stuff there too. So if there anyone who's competent or in a crew or does sound or does camera or whatever, shoot me a tweet. Shoot us a tweet. We'll figure it out. We' and we're going sort of skeleton crew y and we'd like to just work with some fans and some friends. Over there. So we will work that out with you. Louie Anderson is out there. We love Louie Anderson. We'll do good sports. And then Louie, right after this.

[Louie Anderson]

Everywhere I fly to, you know what if it's raining? This is my favorite thing. We need the rain. No matter where I go, we need the rain. We needed the rain. I know it flooded, but we needed it.

[Adam Carolla]

We needed the rain.

[Louie Anderson]

The farmers needed the rain. They'll throw that in too. The farmers need it like you knew they. How do you know that? I don't. I'm tied into agriculture. Farmers need it. I like the rain.

[Adam Carolla]

Get out Louie Anderson on the Adam Carolla show. Funny Louie Anderson. That's the stand up special. The book. Hey stories for my mother, but you can read them too. It's available right now on Amazon and louyanderson.com and louyanderson.com, go to mcroll.com and bookmark your Amazon page and click on through and help the pirate ship. I want to thank Tommy John for sponsoring this half of the show. And beachbody check them out. Text Adam to 30, 30, 30. Set up that free trial and medmen tell you all about them in a second. And Geico as well. Save that 15%. Good to see you. Louis Anderson.

[Louie Anderson]

Good to see you. How are you, Adam?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm doing well.

[Louie Anderson]

You seem very in a good mood today. Not that I know you well enough to where I know if you're in a good mood, but you. And maybe these people can attempt test. You seem to be in a good mood.

[Adam Carolla]

I started off in a bad mood, but I feel like I've purged myself.

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah, I heard some of the purging.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And now I'm in a. In a better mood, relatively speaking.

[Brian Bishop]

He's glowing.

[Adam Carolla]

This is good as it get.

[Louie Anderson]

You can tell in your. Anyways, that's enough of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Louie's got himself an Emmy. I was so excited to see you win that Emmy for bastards.

[Louie Anderson]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm so.

[Louie Anderson]

And your friend Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah, I knew I was gonna. This was just. This is just. I've never told anybody this part.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Louie Anderson]

I said Jimmy Kimmel's opened the with the Emmy show with. I never thought that I would say that. My favorite TV mom is Louie Anderson. He wrote that joke or someone wrote it. And I said, oh, that's good.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a good omen.

[Louie Anderson]

That's a good omen. And I've always felt like Jimmy Kimmel's a great guy. And so I just felt lucky that.

[Adam Carolla]

There I Think you're right. I think he's been lucky for me as well. The book. And, Louis, tell us about your background. Eleven brothers and sisters.

[Louie Anderson]

Ten brothers and sisters. Five sisters. Five brothers, right. I was the 11th one. And that's one of the questions I asked my mom in the book, because she's deceased. But I asked her, I said, what was it like to bring home your 10th? Was it a sack of potatoes that you just kind of like, here, honey, take them. One of the kids, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I feel in a world where I don't like these little snowflakes and everyone's crying abuse, but I think having more than five and a half or six kids is a form of abuse. It's impossible. Like my son and my daughter, I have twins. They're both sort of vying for the attention of me and Mommy, could you come out here? Let's walk to Starbucks. I'm going to jump on the tram. If there were 11 of them, they just couldn't never. You just take the attention, and then you'd whack it up and you do this math, and it'd be like me saying, all right, Sonny, Natalia, would you guys be comfortable with a little less than a fifth of the attention we're currently giving you? And the answer would be, no. That'd be unacceptable. Well, that makes it abuse.

[Louie Anderson]

Well, but part of that is the time we live in now about attention, I think. But also, you're right. But my mom, that's one of the things I put in the book. How did she make us all feel like. Which is true, that we were numeronu. And I think that I don't know how she did it.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you. You grew up without money?

[Louie Anderson]

We had no money, but we didn't dwell on it. It wasn't like you didn't come out and go, we have no money.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Louie Anderson]

We just had. We had enough money. We had, you know, food and clothing for the most part, but nothing special. We didn't have a lot of anything. Cause my dad, you know, he drank. So he oftentimes would drink the whole check before he got home.

[Adam Carolla]

Really.

[Louie Anderson]

And then we'd have to wait a whole week to kind of. My mom would have to make up for that somehow by borrowing money from other people. You know, alcoholism is. Alcohol and drugs. They're selfish in some ways, and I'm not blaming the people, but they're selfish addictions. Cause they need those. That's number one. Then your wife might be number two, and then your kids might be number three. Or four or six or. You know what I mean? So it's a thing. It's all encompassing. The whole idea is to get, like, for a drug addict. Everyone knows that. The whole idea is to get more drugs. Whether you steal your mom's cameo that she's had, that was her mother's, it doesn't matter.

[Adam Carolla]

I also just read that there were 11 of you and there were five that died during birth.

[Louie Anderson]

Five more.

[Adam Carolla]

Five more.

[Louie Anderson]

My mom had 16 births.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm saying. So she would threaten your dad, like, you better stop drinking or you can only have sex with me 27 times this week. Like, holy crap.

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know if it was just a fertility thing. My mom was part rabbit.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's a thought that I want to float out to everyone, which is kind of interesting and part and parcel of what is going on in today's society. And you mentioned you were poor, but you didn't know. I mean, you just. You were a kid. You lived life as a kid.

[Louie Anderson]

Do we have. Do we have food, you know, good food, or do we just have the food that we have to. You know what I mean? Because when they go grocery shopping, you know, when we were growing up, you had that extra stuff that you looked forward to when the groceries first came, you know, the cereal or whatever, the cookies or whatever it was. And so lots of times you just had the food that you didn't really care that much about.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, being a kid back in our day just meant you were a kid. You go outside, you go find some other kid, you go wrestle with that kid, you throw a dirt clot at that kid, you go screw around, you find a bicycle, whatever it is, chase a dog around or something, then come home, eat whatever, sloppy.

[Louie Anderson]

You might go in the woods, whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

But there was no have and have nots, really, because you didn't have the Internet. You didn't know what the Kardashians were up to. You didn't have to keep up with them. And so here's the thought that formed as I was thinking about this, because I think there's like a high misery index amongst all kids now. And especially it's not like poor kids. Look, there's always going to be someone who has more than you do. And I don't want to sound like a cliche machine, but I'm like, my daughter is in the 99th percentile, but she's unhappy that she doesn't have access to private jet. You know what I mean? Now, we didn't Know anyone at Wonder Woman had a jet. That's all. That's the only private person. And Wonder Woman, those only two people had jets. So I wasn't even on my. I couldn't be disappointed. That was one more thing we didn't get. Now, my sister has friends that have pools with water slides attached to the pool. And of course, she wants to know where hers is because she just has a boring old pool.

[Gina Grad]

She wants a movie, right?

[Adam Carolla]

So how about this? When people. Yeah, she wants a lazy river. Lazy river, yeah. I said, all right. When you were a kid, you know, some people's parents, not my parents, because we didn't have that much to eat, but my parents, you know, the parents said, you better finish your pork chop and your peas. There are kids in Africa who are starving. And it never worked. You know, the idea of there's people worse off than you. It never works with kids. Like, you can say to the kid, who wants a second dog? You know, some people don't have. Some kids don't have any dogs. Like, they live in little apartments and they can't have a dog. And they're like, yeah, yeah, well, where's my second dog? Like, they don't. They can't go there.

[Louie Anderson]

No, they don't have that.

[Adam Carolla]

But where they can go is up. So kids and even human beings aren't really capable of getting the empathy going. And, boy, I certainly feel satisfied with my pork chop, because I know there's people in Africa that don't get any pork chop. They can't go that direction, but they can go up and go. Cammy's got a water slide and a lazy river. And now I'm devastated that I just have a trampoline in a pool. So it's kind of a bad. It's a fundamentally flawed wiring that we can only look and be dissatisfied.

[Louie Anderson]

When did it happen? When did the empathy disappear? Because it started to erode and disappear, don't you think?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think it ever worked.

[Louie Anderson]

How do you think it never was?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, again, every mom was like their kids in Africa, and nobody doubled down on the eating. They just went like, these kids are, but screw them. Like, we never really could do it. But now the Internet and cable and satellite has just blown everything up, and now they're all just staring at stuff that they want. Where. When you were kid, you had the Sears catalog we had stared at abroad.

[Louie Anderson]

We didn't have anything. We just had. We went to the country club market, and when my dad got paid, my mom would pick him Up. So we would go there to get food. So he didn't drink all the food.

[Adam Carolla]

Where. Where did you grow up?

[Louie Anderson]

St. Paul, Minnesota. St. Paul, east side of St. Paul.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, man.

[Gina Grad]

Little rough, right?

[Louie Anderson]

Not. Not then.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Louie Anderson]

I mean, it was. We lived in projects and those projects, you know, we had lawns. People took care of their lawns in those projects.

[Adam Carolla]

Where did you find the humor and how soon did it kick in for you?

[Louie Anderson]

I think. I think my dad was always funny. You know, he was like, you know, he was that kind of guy. A noisy, eh? Well, my mom would go, hey, why don't you put some pants on? Because he loved to be in his. Just as boxers. I put some pants. Because she'd say, dorothy and Jim are coming over. Is that so? Isn't that wonderful, Louie? Dorothy and Jim, two more freeloaders in the society. And she'd go, put some pants on.

[Adam Carolla]

Y' all put some pants on.

[Louie Anderson]

When they start paying the rent.

[Adam Carolla]

You want pants? I need rent.

[Louie Anderson]

And then she'd look at him and he put the pants on. But. So I got that. That was. I didn't know. I laughed because that's funny. He was not afraid, you know, he was not afraid to make those kind of comments.

[Gina Grad]

Archie Bunker esque, yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Any of the other siblings pursue the comedy? No.

[Louie Anderson]

But my brother Roger was much funnier than I was. And everybody always says that. He goes, you know, your brother Rog was really the funny one.

[Brian Bishop]

He's the funny one.

[Louie Anderson]

He really was. He was so funny, and he could do a joke and he could rattle off stuff, and he had a hundred jokes, and, you know, he really made. He really, really, really was funny.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it was interesting last night over dinner, we were having the. Also, there's this new world order where kids can, like, trade in their dinner, like in the middle of dinner, which, again, it's all horrible parenting, but, like, my daughter takes like a bite off a chicken leg and goes. Not feeling it, like, hands it in and goes, let's get the pizza going. You know, like, imagine as a kid trading mid dinner.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what's for dinner, to go to bed.

[Louie Anderson]

Dad would eat the chicken leg, but you wouldn't get anything else.

[Adam Carolla]

So my daughter was explaining that she had a photo shoot at school today because she won in the sixth grade. She got most likely to have a YouTube page if you want to know what year we're in.

[Brian Bishop]

They do superlatives in sixth grade.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, I know I don't remember that in sixth grade, but they do the most likely and Then it's something like that. My son won nothing.

[Brian Bishop]

Who actually has a YouTube page.

[Adam Carolla]

He's claiming that he has 125 followers.

[Brian Bishop]

He's raised his head weekly in the back. I have a YouTube page.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And the imposter that won. The interloper that won on the male side has no followers, ironically. But I said, you know, what about the humor? Because I got class clown. You know, I said, how we doing on humor? And he's like, I'm top 15. And then he explained to me that the class clown was, in fact a clown, whereas he had a more evolved sense of humor. This guy was doing, like, practice knock, knock jokes. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You guys ever noticed?

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Yeah. He was more the Mitch Hedberg of the sixth grade.

[Brian Bishop]

What's the deal with these erasers?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yeah, that.

[Louie Anderson]

Did you really have.

[Adam Carolla]

He was a Steven Wright of the sixth grade.

[Louie Anderson]

Cordraw, did you really have class clown?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we had cla. I got class clown in high school. That was like, in high school.

[Louie Anderson]

You're right. But not in.

[Adam Carolla]

And so I remember, say, I like to, you know, I like to lord it over him because I want to give him an eating disorder one day. And I said, but, you know, I was class clown. But. No pressure, but. But he was breaking it down. Like, I'm no clown. I'm a wordsmith. You know, like, I assemble words. He's an old comedian. Yeah. And smoking on stage. He's a little too hip for the room. You know, that's the problem. And Largo. Right. He's the only sixth graders. Influences are Marc Maron and Mort Saul.

[Louie Anderson]

So do you think people know who Mart Saul is?

[Adam Carolla]

No. He was trying to get out. He doesn't know either. He was trying to get out of it. But I was explaining the rules are you have to make whoever's in the auditorium laugh. You know what I mean? Like, I don't care if it's beneath you at this point. Class clown. If that means doing a pratfall, you gotta do a pratfall. That's how you get the clown. That's how you get the lofty class clown. As you ascend to that summit like I did.

[Brian Bishop]

Refine your sensibilities down the road.

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah. You know, I wasn't really very funny. I was really quiet in school, so I never, you know, I was more of a smart guy.

[Adam Carolla]

It was your brother that was.

[Louie Anderson]

My brother was much funnier than I was. But I, you know, I'm. There was a 20 year span between my oldest brother and the youngest brother. So there was a large. Like when I was born, some of the people were starting to move on from the family, you know, get out, get married. My sister got married. My brother went in the Marines.

[Adam Carolla]

How many people could live in a project?

[Louie Anderson]

Well, we have four bedroom, so that's pretty big.

[Judd Apatow]

Pretty big.

[Louie Anderson]

It was a pretty big one. So my mom and dad had one. Then the newest baby, probably the newest baby was in there. And then me and my brother Tommy had one. Then my brother Kent. My brother Kent was already gone. He was in the marines. And then Billy, he was. Billy and Jimmy had one, then Lisa and Sheila had one. And then my sister Shanna lived with my aunt.

[Adam Carolla]

You were. I'm going to tease something. You're staring at a huge Evel Knievel banner in the back and you say he used to come to your shows in Vegas. I want to know about that. I have some evil Knievel stories as well. First I'll tell you about Tommy John. Spring has sprung, man. And that means it's spring cleaning time. Let's start with your underwear drawer. Go for the mind blowing comfort of Tommy John underwear. It'll never ride up. The waistbands never roll down. It's wedgie proof. Plus socks that never fall down. Undershirts that say tucked in. And second skin tees, wrinkle free resistant, they never shrink. It's just the best. All the stuff, the socks, the undershirts, the long johns. I don't even know if they like them called long johns, but I'll just call them long johns. They're all backed by the best pair you'll ever wear or it's free guarantee. We all have them here. We all wear them on a daily basis. Everyone who tries them is converted. And you'll never go back to your conventional anything once you've experienced the majesty of Tommy John. Tommy John. No adjustment needed. Hurry to tommyjohn.com Adam and get 20% off your first order. That's tommyjohn.com Adam for 20% off. Tommyjohn.com Adam so evil. What year would evil come out to your shows in Vegas?

[Louie Anderson]

Let's see, I started In Vegas in 1884, probably. When did he stop jumping?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't, I would have, would have been the late 70s, probably early 80s. I don't know.

[Louie Anderson]

Max pal, find out that Robbie was already jumping. I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Robbie Knievel.

[Louie Anderson]

Robbie Knievel. And so it was in the probably early 90s 80s, late 80s, early 90s. And he would come to my show, came a couple of times. Really great, nice, sweet guy. Very nice to me. And I was like, that's Evel Knievel. Because, you know, when you grow up in the Midwest and you see Evel Knievel, that's a. You know, that's a cool thing. I just loved. I loved who he was on all levels because he was so crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

Last jump in 77. He was the biggest, most recognizable name on the planet for a while. And the ultimate, as I've told you guys, but it was chronicled in a movie after I used to talk about it on Loveline, which is weird. I can't remember what movie used it, but the Ultimate. When you're on a road trip and you're doing 20 questions, you do Evel Knievel. Because people go, is he an athlete? And you go, no, not really. Is he an actor? And you go, no, I'm not known for it. Maybe done some. And then they go, politician, you know? No. All right, wait a minute. He's not a singer. No, you go, but wait a minute. You would know. Everyone knows. Yeah, As a household name.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then they go back to comedian, and you go, no, no, no. They go, wait a minute. Not an athlete? No, no, Not. Not that. Football player. No, no, no. Comedian. No. Singer. No. Like, no. It's all just.

[Judd Apatow]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

And they start going nuts. And then they go, hold on. Would you. Would you ask. Yeah, no, we're not going to know. This person is. And you go, no, no, you'll know. Everyone in the car will know. Everyone will know. And they'll go. And now they're screwed because they can't wrap their mind around actor, singer, comedian, whatever. It's always just. No, no, hold on.

[Gina Grad]

Are they an animal?

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Is it Benji?

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah, definitely an animal.

[Adam Carolla]

It works. It works perfectly. It does every time. They'll never quite. They'll never get to stunt or what, Whatever.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, I get it. Instagram model.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this predated that.

[Brian Bishop]

But you can still do it, though now.

[Gina Grad]

You can still use him.

[Adam Carolla]

So, Louie, your spirits seem good.

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah, I'm great.

[Adam Carolla]

You seem like you're in a good, good place. I am. And you haven't always been in a good place.

[Louie Anderson]

No, I mean, you know, I come from a depressed family. You know, I'm a compulsive eater. I'm a compulsive overeater.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Louie Anderson]

And so I've worked really hard on that. I've lost, you know, a chunk of weight. I don't talk about pounds because it's destructive, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Louie Anderson]

To Start that. But so. And I don't do, you know, any kind of drugs or, you know, alcohol that can. I just don't do any of that. I think I've just kind of got, you know, I kind of got through a lot of stuff. Cause there was, you know, I think these books helped me quite a bit.

[Adam Carolla]

My mom, name of the book, Sorry.

[Louie Anderson]

Dear dad, was the book I gave to Evil, which is weird to call him Evil, by the way. When you just talk to him, listen Evil, it just doesn't make it, you know. And I gave him that book. And he later reconnected with Robbie and thanked me for that. And that was one of my best things about writing a book is that the fact that Evel Knievel read that book about my dad and said, I better, you know, reconnect with my son. And I just love that kind of stuff. But I think of my whole thing is, yeah, I think I, you know, comics. Don't you think comics are, you know, a little back and forth, you know, as far as King get really depressed and isolate and those kind of things.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm trying to think if it's inherent in comedians now, I will say that if you operate at a slightly slower and lower level, I always kind of do things where it's like, oh, there's my dog Phil, and then there's Elon Musk. And then we're all just sort of in between in the brain department. And Phil's pretty consistent. Seems to be in a good mood most all the time, kind of tails wagging, little things make him happy. You just show up and he's happy, you know, throw him some food, he's happy.

[Brian Bishop]

Feed him a socks.

[Adam Carolla]

Feed him a sock. Feed him my daughter's socks. Happy. And then I'll bet you Elon probably, you know, the more projects you have, the more plates you're spinning, and the more things that can go wrong. And then. And then also you don't have. And it's a little bit of a recipe for misery. That'll be the name of my book.

[Louie Anderson]

I love it.

[Adam Carolla]

Possibly the next Guns n Roses album. But here's a recipe for misery. You know what you know, and you do what you do, and you operate the way you operate. And then you say to other people, now go do it. It right. And you assume they're going to just do it, but they're not operating on your level and they're screwing things up. And you expect them to think like you think because you're operating at level. Maybe Elon Experiences that. So if you're operating at a slightly higher level and you have a little fine, little more finely tuned brain, you're opening yourself up for disappointment because. Because every single time I pass under an electronic freeway sign in Los Angeles and it says slow down, I scream at the sign because that's my finely tuned brain. Yes, I'm already going slow. Like, this is the worst thing. This is the biggest waste of time in the world. But my dog in the backseat doesn't do anything. So I think there's a simpler. So maybe comedians, maybe they're operating up in the, the rarefied air and their brains are a little bit more finely tuned and thus they're gonna be miserable because it's their job. In a weird way, you gotta figure out what's wrong with life and then go out on stage and get paid and then go home and stop thinking about what's wrong with life. But that's not gonna, that's not as easy. Not easy to flip that.

[Louie Anderson]

No, it's not easy. But that switch, you know, I mean, I think you're right. I mean, that's a really great way to look at it. I think you do think you know your expectations because you, I don't know, are we smarter? I don't know, but I think we do. We are in some sort of place where we notice things and can put them together and people seem to respond to it that other people don't notice. And I think that with comics, I think that they need that. And I think when you don't, if you're only doing an hour a night, I think, and then you're in Omaha, you go, oh, ugh, I gotta get outta Omaha.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Louie Anderson]

You know what I mean? My thing was mostly I was taking all this stuff that my dad piled on me and all that kind of stuff, and I took it too personal. And so I had to work really hard to get past that stuff because it was somewhat traumatic to me that he would kick my door in at three in the morning and say, lardas, get up and do some exercise.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah. And then I built a character out of being kind of a fat comic. I had a lot of fat jokes in the early days. And then there's a dichotomy there. Do you lose weight? And then when you lose weight, people always say, and I'm not feeling sorry for myself, but people always say, you know, if you lose all your weight, it won't be funny anymore. And I don't. I understand their thinking. I understand their thinking. But it always is. It still is. It's just, you know, it's kind of.

[Adam Carolla]

A kick in the gut, you know, I feel the same way about that as I do about, you know, Eric Clapton getting off a heroin or whatever. Like, I think he could still write some pretty good songs when he wasn't high out of his mind. And I think you could tell some pretty good jokes.

[Louie Anderson]

I think when you get into that. Yeah, I mean, I think you choose the place you're sitting in. If you choose to be depressed, you'll be depressed. You have to, you know, like somebody says, oh, I feel like I'm laying in a swamp. Well, if you stood up, the swamp's only up to your ankles. Right. So, you know, I think it's about making a decision and working really hard at getting out. And those things, they were traumas for me, and I had to just really forgive my dad and get through them. And, you know, he wasn't just saying it to me, he was saying it to everyone.

[Adam Carolla]

Was your dad drunk when he did that?

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That feels very Drunken move.

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah, it was at three in the morning.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Was he a blackout drinker? Would he remember doing these things? Would he apologize?

[Louie Anderson]

No, no, he remembered doing them. He never apologized. Hey, that was something, wasn't it?

[Adam Carolla]

Last night sound like Bob Hope, and.

[Louie Anderson]

Bob Hope was a huge influence of me.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You got a lot of range between Bob Hope and Evel Kneel.

[Louie Anderson]

But he was really like his, you know, that Bob. Hey, hey, everybody. That definitely influenced the way I. Hey, hi, everybody. That's really. That I stole that. Right. Without knowing that I stole it. Because, you know, he'd come out and go, he was so good. Hey, Joey Henderson, bring her out.

[Adam Carolla]

Joey.

[Louie Anderson]

They go low.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Joey. Yeah, he did that. Look where he kind of looked up and off. He'd even change his middle name to Texaco at a certain point. Hey, it's Bob. Texaco Hope.

[Louie Anderson]

Can I tell you my Bob Hope story? Cause I always wanted to meet him.

[Adam Carolla]

Please.

[Louie Anderson]

It's a quick one. Yeah, I'm backstage. He never worked many Vegas on the stage. He only did privates. He never. He never.

[Adam Carolla]

They're like corporate stuff.

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah, corporate stuff. So he was doing a corporate. And I had the same agent, and I said, frank. Frank Rio, great agent. I said, hey, I want to meet Bob Hope. I have a show here at Bally's and I want to meet after. So he'll get. So I'm backstage, first of all, he. I get up there and he said, he'll be done in a few minutes. He did he. And he was at, like, 70 minutes that. Then at 95 minutes, he brought Dolores up to sing his wife. Thanks for the memories, right? And then. So he goes, all right, he's wrapping up. Come back. You know, in those things where they make a stage that isn't really supposed to be a stage in the ballroom. So I go back there. There's, you know, that weird staircase. They're all there. And I'm just like this kid going.

[Adam Carolla]

To this pop up.

[Louie Anderson]

I'm really excited. And Bob comes out and he goes. I can say. I can swear on this.

[Adam Carolla]

Go ahead, swear away.

[Louie Anderson]

All right. So he comes and he.

[Adam Carolla]

What year is this, approximately?

[Louie Anderson]

Ooh, let's see. I want to say 89, 90. Somewhere in there, he gets to the railing, he goes, God damn it, I almost fucking broke my neck on those cords right there when I walked out. Now, he had been thinking about that for 95 when he walked out. When he walked out, I almost fucking killed myself on these fucking cords. And Frank Rio goes, bob, this is a young comic that really wants to meet you. Louie Anderson. Hey, kid.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyway, these fucking cords.

[Louie Anderson]

If you fucking know who's responsible for it. And then he walked out, and I never saw him again. But I just. It killed me that he's just like every other comic.

[Adam Carolla]

He will be missed.

[Louie Anderson]

We cannot get those kind of mistakes out of our head.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I, I. People have. No, people come to visit the studio.

[Brian Bishop]

Once in a while, a fan, and they're treated to one of Adams, who left the top off the blah, blah, blah. Who didn't rinse out the this and that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I do it all. I do. I do it all the time. It. It happens. Like, it'll happen in all the time, where you'll say to someone, like, you'll go, like, all right, make sure there's a water, like a bottle of water out there on stage. And they'll go, right? And then you go, now, here, very important. Twist the cap off, break the seal, break the perforated thing, and then just put it on loosely. Because if I'm holding the mic and I go for the bottle, I can't. I have to put it under my arm. I have to, like, set the mic down. So, so just. Just snap it off and then just put it loose back on the thing, and you'll find. And you go out there, start doing your set. You get about 12 minutes in. You reach for the Arbon, you start turning the cap, and the whole bottle starts turning. You're in the middle of doing what you're doing. It just keeps turning. Then you pick it up, you start putting it under your arm while you're trying to hold the mic, and you're like, I'm gonna kill somebody. I'm gonna kill somebody. That's all you can think about. And then you go, the next 90 minutes, as soon as you walk upstairs, you're like, what the fuck happened with the bottle? Cause it's like. There is a weird thing.

[Louie Anderson]

Can I just piggyback right on the.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, please. Piggyback. I mean, not literally, but metaphorically, please.

[Louie Anderson]

I say to them, look right at them. Try to get the contact with the people backstage. How do you want the water? I want the caps off. Oh, I do not want the caps on, because I already went through what you went through. I go, I want them off. They're never off. They're never off. They don't think you really want them off.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Louie Anderson]

They don't think it's right to take them off.

[Adam Carolla]

And there is a weird. There's. There's a weird thing that you have to be up in that pilot seat. You have to be on stage or on camera or on whatever with the thing when you sort of. And this is why, whether it's Bill O'Reilly or. Got a friend at MSNBC. MSNBC, MSNBC, now. We'll think of his name in a second. This transcends politics. No, O'Reilly's on one side.

[Louie Anderson]

Dennis Miller.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, he's on the right. And on the left is Chris. Chris wrote the book. I mean, think of a second. Everyone spazzes out equally. And the nicest people in the world spazz out because Lawrence o'.

Donnell.

Lawrence o'. Donnell. Yeah, you got the O, right? Yeah. Oh, and o. O. Donnell, O'Reilly. They still spaz out equally. And you kind of go, well, O'Reilly's a jackass and Odell's a cool dude. No, he'll freak out, too. Everyone will freak out because there's something about. About putting yourself in that position where you've had these discussions like, I don't want this to happen. Like, I don't. Don't have this happen because it throws.

[Louie Anderson]

The whole timing off.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Or whatever.

[Louie Anderson]

I mean, there's something. Listen, this should not be happening. I should not be doing this. Well, you paid a lot of money to not fucking see me. Do you.

[Adam Carolla]

There's no doubt that it throws us out. There's no doubt that it's all wrong, but there's something that's so universal about Louie and Lawrence and Carolla and O'Reilly. We all share this one. We have this one thing in common, which is it cuts you like a knife. You go from zero to out of control. Asshole. And Bob Hope it's just there.

[Louie Anderson]

I almost kill myself. I'll never forget that. I'll never forget that.

[Adam Carolla]

I guarantee he said to someone, somebody, don't run. The cords, the black cords on the black stage right at the top of the steps. I'm 77 goddamn years old. I'm wearing floor shine shoes. I'm gonna catch a heel and I'll break a hip and I'll be dead in four months. Don't you think he tripped him?

[Brian Bishop]

Don't you?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sure he's had the conversation a million times. And that's what. That's why you go ballistic.

[Louie Anderson]

And that is exactly. It's just like. Has that been happening since vaudeville? I mean, it has. I don't want a cup, I want a glass. I need a glass to do this trick.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell it to Louis. Well, first I'll tell you about Beachbody on demand. And then I'll tell it to Louis. Wide variety of workouts from the comfort of your own living room. 24. 7 access anywhere, anytime. Even you get your computer, your web enabled tv, tablet, smartphone, Roku, Apple tv, Chromecast and more. Work out on your own schedule. Some as short is just 10 minutes and don't require any extra equipment. If you're traveling around, you want to burn those calories in your hotel room, you've got your smartphone with you. Beach body on demand. Hundreds of effective workouts for all fitness levels. Bodybuilding, weight training, cardiovascular, yoga, even dance workouts would be like 1 million plus people currently on Beachbody on man Gina.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. People are tweeting me left and right about other ones to try. People are loving Piyo because that's what I've been doing. Lots of flexibility, lots more energy. I think I'm gonna try Shaun T next. Cause that's another one everybody loves. And I'm having a blast. It's fun, it feels doable. It's not terrifying. And it's working.

[Adam Carolla]

And no prying eyes. You do it in your own living room. You get a free trial membership. When you text the word Adam to 30. 30, 30. That's Adam. 30, 30, 30. Free access.

[Judd Apatow]

Free, full free.

[Adam Carolla]

Try it out, Adam. 30, 30, 30. Yes. Lou Anderson in studio. I think we should take a quick break. We'll come back and do the news with Louie and Gina Grad Right after this. Give me the news with grad. News with Gina Grad. Breaking fire with all those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina grad.

[Judd Apatow]

Trouble in the Middle East.

[Adam Carolla]

Celebrity drunk meltdown. Seek news with Gina Gina.

The news with Gina grad.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, a couple of Updates on the YouTube Shooting from the other day. Now some more. Some more information is coming out. So the woman who opened fire at YouTube headquarters in northern California may have been disgruntled user of the video sharing site, according to cnn. Not a disgruntled girlfriend, not anyone related to anyone there. Police said.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Police said the woman in Tuesday's shooting was in her late 30s. She wounded three people at the campus in San Bruno that's just south of San Francisco and turned the gun on herself. A fourth person suffered an ankle injury while they were trying to escape the gunfire. Authorities are investigating a website that appears to show the same woman accusing YouTube of restricting her videos, which are in Farsi, Turkish and English and accusing, quote, close minded yout employees of putting an age restriction on videos, saying it's aimed at reducing views and discouraging women from making new videos. Police said there's no evidence the shooter knew any of the victims that were targeted. I pulled a couple of clips.

[Adam Carolla]

What kind of videos was she making?

[Gina Grad]

I'm going to show you. They are bizarre to say the least. So the first one is kind of more her manifesto. It's a little bit of a rant against YouTube.

[Brian Bishop]

This is once the videos are pulled down or once they're restricted or whatever.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, once she sort of declared, you know, anchor against YouTube.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm being discriminated and filtered on YouTube.

[Judd Apatow]

And I'm not the only one.

[Adam Carolla]

So recently they also attacked my Persian channel, Nassima saps. And if you go and check my.

[Judd Apatow]

Videos, you see that my new videos.

[Adam Carolla]

Hardly get views and my old videos that used to get many views stop getting views. So this is because I'm being filtered. And another thing, they age restricted my ab workout video. All right, she's doing an ab video.

[Gina Grad]

Ab workout video.

[Adam Carolla]

What is the message of her videos though?

[Gina Grad]

She has. She has dance videos that she's dancing in front of a green screen.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's nothing political.

[Gina Grad]

Not, not any of the ones that.

[Adam Carolla]

Were stripping her non political stuff.

[Gina Grad]

They apparently said some of them were inappropriate content and they leave it at that.

[Brian Bishop]

I had also read that. Yes, that. And also that YouTube did a thing and someone could probably clarify this. They demonetized a lot of channels that had less than 10,000 subscribers or whatever the number is, and hers was that. And she apparently relied on that income and was furious about it.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, a lot of these videos don't have a lot of hits. Some of them do. A lot of them don't.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

If YouTube determines your video is not advertiser friendly, pulls all monetization out of it. She was doing like vegan stuff, lifestyle stuff, so no.

[Adam Carolla]

No political or message not. That's come out interesting.

[Gina Grad]

So there's.

[Adam Carolla]

Where is she from, do we know?

[Gina Grad]

Well, she has a Farsi channel. I don't know if anyone specified exactly where she's from, but she has a ton of weird videos, like in wigs and dancing.

[Louie Anderson]

And wasn't that a flag or something in back of her?

[Gina Grad]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm a bunch of stars.

[Gina Grad]

But I pulled this one video of hers, which I think is about being vegan because I had to watch it a few times and that's what I picked up on. Here's. Here's part of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, boy. She got a rabbit.

[Gina Grad]

She's got a mask.

[Adam Carolla]

Got a mask.

[Brian Bishop]

Got a very Lady Gaga vibe.

[Adam Carolla]

Nice to meet you. Can I kiss you? I could show you hidden things. Pain, sadness, hair, crying style. Your food. Oh, my brain. Look at that meat. It looks like your next heart attack. Life's a game. So she's just not.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

New job, cell phone. This is all you want it.

[Gina Grad]

It goes on and on.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. She's crazy.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So from San Diego.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. And apparent. Well, yeah, she's. That was her last residence.

[Brian Bishop]

I know, I know, but that's all they're saying.

[Gina Grad]

On her way to the headquarters, apparently she was pulled off by the side of the road asleep, and her father alerted the authorities, according to something I read online, to go. To go get her and say that something is not right. She's might be doing something crazy. They went and I guess woke her up and started questioning her and said, no, she's fine, let her go. But she had guns in the back or whatever and she was on her way to YouTube. So it's all very bizarre.

[Adam Carolla]

I made it super clear with my kids, which is if they ever start pulling any of this shit, I'm going to get a drifter to kill them. I won't do it myself. I'm far too important. I'm too big of an earner and all that kind of stuff, but I will. I know many drifters. And by the way, LA is now drifter central. I literally can't swing a Cat around without hitting a drifter. And they're all, look, $4,500 is a king's ransom to one of those people. And I can write it off. So if you're ever planning on doing any of this kind of shit, I.

[Brian Bishop]

Can write it off.

[Adam Carolla]

I will immediately.

[Brian Bishop]

What's this line item on your deductions?

[Adam Carolla]

That's business expense.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah, we were studying drifters.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that's right. I did a stand up bit about drifters.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, well, that makes perfect sense, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Anyway, so I had to pay them to study them. But either way, it's understood that I will hire a goddamn drifter to kill you. And that should be the understood, understood conversation. Every parent should have that with their child. It's just. Look, you want to get a lot out of control. You feel like you're a woman trapped inside a man's body. You want to do any of that? No problemo. Go vegan, whatever you like. Start following the band, Fish. I'm not going to be happy, but go ahead. You start getting into the stockpiling the ammo and the arsenal and sending off the crazy videos and anything close to manifesting. So I call the drifter in. That's how smarter. That's right.

[Gina Grad]

Always looming over there.

[Louie Anderson]

Hey, is that a drifter by my room?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Depends.

[Louie Anderson]

It's just a warning to me.

[Gina Grad]

Tiger woods is returning to the Masters for just the second time since 2013. Tiger, who's battled injuries and personal issues for years, has finished in the top 12 in his last three tournaments and currently ranks in the top 10 for stroke gained. Overall. Woods, he's at 12 to 1, is fifth among betting favorites to win the Green jacket behind Roy McElroy, Bubba Watson, Dustin Johnson and Justin Thomas. If he wins, it would be the first major championship in a decade. It would also mark his fifth Masters title.

[Adam Carolla]

Tons, Christ, tons of fans.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm hoping that he doesn't, if only for the reason. We talk sometimes about how we hate lazy headline writers. You know, every. Every scandal is gate. Every scandal is gate.

[Gina Grad]

Can I guess?

[Brian Bishop]

Let me guess. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Out of the Woods.

[Brian Bishop]

No. Tiger roars back.

[Gina Grad]

Tiger roars back yeah, I don't like that.

[Brian Bishop]

You're worthless. You're bankrupt. Creatively.

[Judd Apatow]

I agree.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree.

[Gina Grad]

Well, actor Channing Tatum and actress Jenna Dewan Tatum are splitting up after eight years of marriage. Apparently.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm gonna have that uncomfortable conversation with my wife when I get home, which is, if it could happen to them, it could happen to anyone. So.

[Brian Bishop]

And we're anyone.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyone. Pretty much Covers everyone. I don't know why they do anyone. They should say everyone. But anyway, if it could happen to these two, what chance do we have? I'm just saying it could happen to anyone. Anyway, hold on, let me get the drifter.

[Gina Grad]

Well, apparently they separated a while ago due to spending more time apart because of the pressure of work. According to a source quote, Channing has been working non stop stop with four movies announced for 2018 alone.

[Adam Carolla]

It's hard on the marriage. The part where the person is working too much is right up there with the excuse where it's like, I don't have time to date. I'm so focused on my studies. No, if you like this guy, you find time to date. And the part where you're busy traveling, I mean, hell, they have Skype and all that kind of stuff. I mean, you, you can. You have a lot of money. It's one thing where you're going to, like a logging camp and you're gone for seven months at a time, but you can get on a private jet and get back for a weekend or whatever. Working too much. I don't know. Anytime I've been with anyone who's been gone too much, all I've like, please come back so we can hump. Never been like, well, it's been four days. That'll be that. Yes, we're damn near 87 hours. What's going on? Like, no, it's never that. It's. I can't wait to see the person. Unless they're planning something romantic for when the person does return.

[Gina Grad]

So how soon do we start seeing those paparazzi photos of either Channing or Jenna, you know, having a coffee with sunglasses on in the corner of a coffee shop with another person?

[Adam Carolla]

He should be hitting it early and often. Her, out of respect, should take about four years off.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

Just take a vow of celibacy. That's the way.

[Louie Anderson]

Four movies at one time.

[Adam Carolla]

Amazing.

[Gina Grad]

What's he supposed to do? So it's hard in the marriage, they said, to be apart so much, especially with a young child, which seems counterintuitive.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's also young child. I don't know how young the child is, but you just throw money at that problem. You get a night nurse, you get a nanny, and believe me, my kids and the nanny or my wife, there's no separation. Like, they like her better than they like me. I mean, it makes no difference who's carting them off to gravity land. It doesn't matter. It's all fine. As long as I'm cutting checks, everybody's happy, they're fine with me. But it's not like, oh, I haven't seen him, I was out of town or everyone all the time. Everything's just running a million miles. This part where he's working too much. He's working too much and banging his assistant is an issue. He's working too much.

[Gina Grad]

Give him a little slack onto something. Well, Esquire, he's on to something very well might be. Esquire reports that Netflix is looking to hire someone who's really, really good at binge watching TV shows. They're trying to fill a position with the title quote editorial analyst comma originals. The job responsibility includes watching TV series specials and movies and then tagging, rating and writing summaries for everything.

[Adam Carolla]

I Jimmy has has t professional TV watchers who work at his show. It sounds like the greatest gig ever.

[Louie Anderson]

Mind for bits and things.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you just see some politician give some speech or something wacky on some good morning Nebraska show or something like that. Just constantly watching. I'd watch, but I wouldn't write anything down. I'd just have my arms folded and I'd be going, oh, fake. O so fake. Please, please. Oh, come on. That's what made my gig. I don't know if that's a gig where I just fold my arms and go, oh, fake. So fake.

[Judd Apatow]

The Corolla.

[Adam Carolla]

No one would ever do that at.

[Brian Bishop]

The end of your eight hour shift, Adam. So what'd you see?

[Adam Carolla]

Fake, fake, fake. O more fake. Here's six pages on construction. That guy was using a smooth ounce. He had a 20 ounce smooth Vaughn when he should have been using a waffle. Ended 24 ounce Vaughn with a hatchet handle. So fake.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, I have something here marked. Yeah, right.

[Adam Carolla]

I heard this guy said his wife was his best friend. Come on.

[Brian Bishop]

Apply your lies elsewhere.

[Adam Carolla]

That'd be a good gig for me.

[Gina Grad]

Well, you can go right over to Netflix. Austin power star Verne Troyer has been playing.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I got another job. I don't know if they have this secret napper. I know they have a secret shopper, but I just slink off into my room and shut the door behind me and then saw some logs dogs for like 40 minutes and come out again.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's good.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there a secret napper job?

[Brian Bishop]

Probably.

[Adam Carolla]

I could do that. Well, probably keeping it close to the vest.

[Gina Grad]

Hotels.com could get in on that with you Secret nap.

[Louie Anderson]

Or you could just try out sleep apnea machine.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, cpap.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I got a cpap I like when we've turned the corner. Now we have most of the commercials for cleaning all the devices. Like we have the CPAP cleaning commercials. And that's followed by the prescription med because you're too backed up from your painkillers. Like, we're now turning the corner and doing the next piece of medication because we're all out of our minds.

[Judd Apatow]

Everyone has.

[Adam Carolla]

So crazy, right?

[Louie Anderson]

So crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

You're right.

[Gina Grad]

Well, Austin power star Vern Troyer has been hospitalized for reported alcohol poisoning this week. TMZ police were.

[Adam Carolla]

Tmz, symbol of Jagermeister, went into anaphylactic shot.

[Gina Grad]

Police were sent to his home after A friend called 911 and described him as being extremely.

[Adam Carolla]

His dad farted next to him on the subway.

[Gina Grad]

He said he was extremely upset, drunk and suicidal. A message on his Instagram says, quote, asking you to keep Vern in your thoughts and prayers. He's getting the best care possible and is resting comfortably. Appreciate the support from family, friends and fans around the world. TMZ says the actor, who's battled alcoholism for years, is being held on a 72 hour evaluation.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I'm one of these guys that, like, I don't want to be a douche, but he was in a movie. It's all. All Mike Myers sort of thing. Like, I don't give that, like, oh, he's a big star. It's more like, oh, that Mike Myers did that novelty.

[Brian Bishop]

He's a prop.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's sort of like an extension of them. Like the heavyset Armenian gentleman from Borat who ran around naked. Are we. Is he supposed to give, like, a learning annex on acting or is he just a guy that the ghost genius to put in his movie?

[Brian Bishop]

He's been at Phil's house a few times. Good guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, is he? I'm just saying, like, I don't think.

[Louie Anderson]

Are you the Armenian guy that was naked?

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on, let me see the back of your balls. Oh, my God. That's right. Honey, hold the camera.

[Louie Anderson]

And you're an Uber driver.

[Adam Carolla]

It's kind of like, I don't know, for this Vern Troy get the credit or something like, Myers thing. All right, let me tell you about Mad. He might be missed. He's with us. No, he will be missed. But he might die. But he might be missed. He's easy to miss him if you live in California or Nevada. It's an exciting time for you medmen. Redefining the cannabis industry and empowering people to exercise their right to purchase cannabis. That's right. Premium shopping experience. All med men's stores feature a wide range of products. Knowledgeable, approachable storage staff. Find out what's best for you. Whatever you're looking to get, they'll set you up open for both recreational medical users. Anyone over 21 with a valid ID is welcome. Providing the highest quality and safety. Don't worry about what you're buying anymore. They have trained professionals. They have experts. Check out their eight locations in Los Angeles, Orange County, San Diego, uh oh, and Vegas. And you can go to medmen.com find the nearest store. That's medme.com go now and let them know you heard it on the Adam Carolla show and get 10 bucks off your order. How about it, Dawson? Exclusively for our listeners. Visit Medmen and tell them you heard about it on the Adam Carolla show for $10 off your order. Limit one per customer. Terms and conditions may apply.

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All right, one more.

[Gina Grad]

All right. Well, there are now car vending machines in China. I don't know if you've seen these, but might have some pictures. The machines, which are many stories tall, actually dispense Ford vehicles for people to test drive. These super test drive centers, there's a picture we're looking at are unstaffed digital vending machines that work with an app. So using that app, the machine identifies the user and then scrolls forward until the car is dispensed just like a candy bar bar or a bag of chips out of vending machine man.

[Adam Carolla]

They do in Japan, they do women's panties. China, they do cars. A lot of range those Asians have with the vending machines. And really, there's really nothing that can't be done. Now, speaking of Transformers, there's a movie brewing here.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Lightning bolt hits, this place goes awry. See, the car's becoming animated. Now things start moving and walking. I mean, all it takes is a one well placed lightning bolt, as I've.

[Brian Bishop]

Learned, and it becomes a boring sitcom. Where they all live, apartment complex.

[Adam Carolla]

They all live in an apartment. 227. That's like one day at a time with four Tauruses.

[Brian Bishop]

Two, two, seven.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you think you're so hot just because you're a station wagon. Yeah, it's good stuff.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And we make the Ford Fiesta with the act. We get Carlos Salaraki or whatever his name is to do the. Look at the guy to do the. That's the Spanish. The Ford Fiesta has the funny Spanish accent.

[Gina Grad]

I'm sure who Carlos Saleraki is.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the Guy did the voice of the. You know, you'll find him. The guy did the. He did the voice of the Chihuahua on the Taco Bell commercial.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, now you're talking.

[Louie Anderson]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll figure it out. I'm screwing up this last name.

[Gina Grad]

The state. Reno911 guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Carlos Al Zaraki.

[Gina Grad]

Right, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Reno911, something like that. Yeah. Let him. Let's hear some Chihuahua voice out of him. And then we get. We get Larry the Cable guy to do the Ford F350, the truck.

[Judd Apatow]

You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

He's the big truck up there.

[Brian Bishop]

Jim Parsons is the electric vehicle.

[Judd Apatow]

He's like the.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, he's got the Ford electric vehicle. Louie, what are you seeing yourself at?

[Louie Anderson]

Flatbed.

[Adam Carolla]

Flatbed. So we got you as a truck, too. So maybe you'll be like Larry Sidekick.

[Louie Anderson]

Yes, I could. Or else I could. Yeah, I'd be a, you know, a VW Beetle. I might.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we're. We're sting with Ford product. They've already signed on. They've already green lit this thing. You know what I mean?

[Louie Anderson]

Ford Flex.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Flex. So we have you like a sporty minivan. Yeah, I like that.

[Gina Grad]

Smart.

[Louie Anderson]

But as a woman.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, as a. As a woman. All right, I'll tell you what. You be the Ford Flex, as a woman, and then what we'll do is we'll put the longboard surfboards on top, top of the Ford Flex and give it the wood side treatment. And that'll be like the Spicoli surfer Woody Wagon. Kind of gnarly.

[Louie Anderson]

I think that's what they modeled that car after, don't you?

[Adam Carolla]

The Ford Flex. Yeah, I do.

[Louie Anderson]

It really does. It makes you.

[Adam Carolla]

Is anyone writing this shit down? Because it should be that.

[Louie Anderson]

Don't you think? That. That is. I feel nostalgic when I see the Ford Flex. I go, oh, that reminds me of growing up. Yeah, yeah, it has that same. That wood paneled.

[Adam Carolla]

What was it called him? A woody. This is one of my many. You know, we were talking yesterday about how I like to pass information on to things, on to people, and how they rarely. They rarely appreciate it. The very first Teen Choice or Kids Choice Award or whatever we did many years ago, me and Drew did it. We're hanging around with Destiny's Child backstage and, like a young Beyonce, and they were begging to come on Loveline and blah, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, all right, we need you to go out there. We need you to present the award to Daphne Zuniga or something, you know, And I said, all right, what's the award? Well, here it is. And it's a surfboard, right? And I go, we call it the Woody. And I said, woody's the station wagon that carries the surfboard. Like when the Beach Boys was talking about putting the boards in the woody. That's a woody wagon. And then the boards hang out of the woody wagon. This is not a woody. This is a surfboard. And they're like, yeah, give it to Daphne Zuniga. I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm just. I'm saying it's not a woody, though. It's the first year we got time to, you know, five years on, we're not going to be able to change the name of this thing. Just the guy with that clipboard and the headset to hand the goddamn surfboard, the Woody, to Daphne Zuniga, for fuck's sake. And I'm like, that's just, you know, it's not a woody. This isn't a woody. This is a surfboard. And the Woody, the Flying Nun wagon. That's what she drove in the flying. That's called the Woody.

[Louie Anderson]

Guy who won't cr. Crack the bottom.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Louie Anderson]

It's the same.

[Gina Grad]

Dr. Joe, maybe you'd be interested in handing this to Daphne.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm trying to trip Bob Hope later with somebody.

[Adam Carolla]

Are they still calling that surfboard a woody?

[Judd Apatow]

Are they?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm all right. Let me tell you about Geico. Even Bob Hope can't complain about Geico. Everyone's got the to do list. How about you save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance? You don't have to go anywhere. Just go to Geico. 15 minutes, you could be saving 15% or more on your auto insurance. It is Geico. It's the best. Spend 15 minutes, find out just how much money you could be saving. You get yourself a new woody wagon. You got insurance? Or Woody surfboards. You need insurance? Don't exist. Go to geico.com, it's geico.com, see if they still hand out wood.

[Brian Bishop]

They do surfboards, but they're not calling them Woody.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, look at you.

[Adam Carolla]

That'll be my legacy.

[Louie Anderson]

Legacy.

[Adam Carolla]

That's my legacy.

[Louie Anderson]

You got them off that big mouth.

[Brian Bishop]

Corolla goes, too.

[Adam Carolla]

It'll be great. Yeah, at my funeral, they'll be talking, you know the Teen Choice Awards now? Well, they have them. Okay. And they hand out a surfboard. Yeah, I wasn't aware of that. Yeah, well, they do. Okay, well, they used to call it a Woody. All right, well, they Stopped. You want to know what? Why?

[Judd Apatow]

Not really.

[Adam Carolla]

Not really. Because the guy is dead over there. Suggested they do it 17 years ago.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, doubt him.

[Gina Grad]

Anyway, our family's trying to grieve.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just the guy who polishes the urn. So I'm not really. I don't have a dog in the fight. I'm just here with a little dog.

[Louie Anderson]

Make sure you keep the COVID on their urn.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you gotta keep the COVID on. You're right. It can't be exposed to the atmosphere. All right, let's see. Madison Capitol Theater. That'll be tomorrow night. That'll be of me doing a one man show. So come on out to Madison and the Capitol Theater and say hi. And live shows everywhere. Santa Ana is coming up. Esports arena. That'll be all of us with Heather Dubrow from the Housewives. Man up on stage. That'll be April 21st live. And I'm traveling all over the place. So go to AdamCarolla.com and Jim Jeffries coming in here tomorrow. We love Jim Jeffries.

[Gina Grad]

Jim.

[Adam Carolla]

Louie Anderson. Fantastic. Hey, thank you. Stories for my mother. But you can read them too. And you can get them now on Amazon and you can also get a louanderson.com. yeah, a signed copy. And of course, check out that special big underwear. You can get that on Amazon, itunes, Google play and all that stuff. And the album is available tomorrow, so.

[Louie Anderson]

And I'll be at LA live. You know the live. Yeah, that's tonight with Lori Greiner.

[Adam Carolla]

Great. So until next time, this is Adam Crawford, Louie Anderson, Gina Grand Ball. Bryan saying Mahala. Natalia, not so much.

[Judd Apatow]

All right, it's adam Krilla Show22:96 with.

[Adam Carolla]

The great Louis Anderson. Rest in peace. Next we have adam Krilla Show 2283. Judd Apatow, Jeff Cesario, Chet Waterhouse, Gina grad and Brian bishop, also from 2018. Check it out. Good day, Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

Good day to you.

[Adam Carolla]

And bald Bryan. You're not funny. I'm disappointed. I am excited that Judd Apatow is in studio. I have watched the Zen diaries of Garry Shandling. Part one and part two coming up March 26, 8 o' clock on HBO. That's part one and then part two is the Tuesday the following day. Fantastic work. I saw Judd's standup special last night. I saw Funny people came on cramming for the test. Funny people just showed up and we were talking about Eric Bana on Funny people. He was in here a few weeks ago and I was thinking, oh, Yeah, I haven't seen that movie in a while. And it was just on Saturday Night. The picture in Adam Sandler's office as the dying comedian, at least at the time, behind him was a picture of Garry Shandling, which is the COVID art of the doc. And you must have put that there and known that.

[Judd Apatow]

That's right. Yeah. I think it' syou know if it's in Adam's office or Seth's office. But it's an amazing photograph that Mark Seligman took. And it's Gary in front of a desk that's on fire. And Mark said, back then, we didn't have cgi. We just lit a desk on fire.

[Adam Carolla]

They just called Bobcat over, told him he was doing panel and let nature take its course. Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

So in a Beautiful Mind style room with all these funny people over here, Shandling over here.

[Adam Carolla]

And so it was weird because when I saw the documentary and I saw the art that came along with it, I thought, oh, that's cool. The way Judd cooked that up, pardon the pun, like superimposed a picture Shandling and put the fire behind him and stuff. And then we went back to 09 and funny people, and there was that picture, I think, sitting behind Adam Sandler. So there you go.

[Judd Apatow]

Saved a lot of cash.

[Adam Carolla]

I am so impressed with Judd because I look at him as a just a custodian of comedy, if the custodian also was a guidance counselor, principal, and a gym coach as well, and an architect of school who built schools.

[Judd Apatow]

I feel like our careers are turning into the same career. We're doing standup, we're making documentaries.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Judd Apatow]

We're writing, we're directing. I feel like we're becoming the same person.

[Brian Bishop]

Wildly successful. Both.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what it's like, I think, with you and I, if you look at the car auctions every once in a while, like I do, I look at all the expensive car auctions. They'll have a Pontoon, Ferrari Testarossa, 1954, and it's $37 million is the estimate. And then you go, scroll down the page, and you see the exact same car, and the estimate is $30,000 to $50,000. And you go, what? And then you go, oh, that's the kids version version. It's actually a shrunken down version of it. It's still a nice piece. It's still. It's not a bad. It wouldn't be bad to have that in your garage, but it's not. I. I look at that as My career. And you're. You're the actual full scale Ferrari.

[Judd Apatow]

That's not how I see it.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm the Barbie car.

[Judd Apatow]

I do not see it that way.

[Gina Grad]

People love Barbies.

[Adam Carolla]

I love crashing as well. It is, absolutely. We had Pete in here a few weeks ago, too. And it's just one of my. I don't have a lot of must see tv, but that's it for me. And the thing about crashing. And you tell me one of the problems you have when you depict stand up comedy is the audience at home not laughing nearly as hard as the audience in the club is laughing when Sally Fields is doing her stand up set with Tom Hanks in the wing, right? But when you watch, like the last one was the Roast Battle, Roast War you guys had, where he was having to reluctantly roast everyone because Pete's such a nice guy. The material is fantastic. And you can't fake the material because if it's bad, then you're sitting on your sofa thinking, this is bad.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, that's. Excuse me. That's. The fun of the show, is that if we do a roast battle episode, we just hire the same people that write the roast battles and then we shoot it with the crowd and we try to almost make it a stand up special or a documentary of those stand up moments. So instead of doing what a normal movie does, which is just, you know, they get their close up, there's no crowd there, they add the laughs after. You know, if we're doing a sequence where Pete's bombing, you know, I'll just, you know, say, do your set. He's like, what if they laugh? I go, well, we'll do a second take and do it again. And the second time they just won't laugh. We won't tell the crowd and anything. Or. There was a scene where Artie and Bill Burr are being interviewed by Joy Behar. And we wanted to Capture what the 92nd Street Y Q and A panel felt like. So instead of scripting it, we had a line or two. We said, let's just let him talk for half an hour. We'll find a little piece of it. And I think that's why it's more authentic.

[Adam Carolla]

We're really doing it.

[Judd Apatow]

If there's a clip of Greg Fitzsimmons doing standup, we just shot his set for half an hour, then grabbed a new.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. It all has that feel of this is exactly what it is versus the sort of CGI world. And it's so much better to watch an actual car chase than a CGI car chase.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, you could just tell. You could just tell.

[Adam Carolla]

You just can tell. And that's one good part that's still left in us about being a human. I don't know if our kids are gonna have that part where we can tell the difference between real pussy and robot pussy.

[Judd Apatow]

It's anime. You know, you look at the animated adult films and you just go, it just doesn't do anything. Does that do something for certain people?

[Adam Carolla]

No. And I have a thing.

[Brian Bishop]

It must exist for a reason.

[Adam Carolla]

First off, just anime in general is weird to me.

[Brian Bishop]

It's off putting.

[Adam Carolla]

It's off putting. And as somebody who prides himself on being semi racist, it's racist with the big round saucer eyes on the Asian women like it. It's a weird thing. Like, hey, we've taken your eyes and we've converted them to anglo eyes times 1000. And that's the eyes you shall have. I mean, when you watch Speed Racers, I grew up watching Speed Racer. Everyone's eyes were just huge. But they was all shot in Japan. Oh, not shot, all penned in Japan.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. This is why we all still love the French Connection, because when they shot it, they just went 100 miles an hour in the streets of New York, putting everyone's lives in danger. And that's how they would do it back then. They didn't really tell people to get off the streets or anything.

[Adam Carolla]

They didn't do a whole lot of pulling of permits back then.

[Judd Apatow]

No permits.

[Adam Carolla]

So, Jud, the documentary's amazing. And Shandling, it's really. I think everyone appreciated Shandling or understood what he did for TV and how innovative he was. But now there's two. You know, it's the Garry Shandley show and the talk show and Larry Sanders. So he has two sort of groundbreaking break down the fourth wall, and one of them, and the other one is just totally innovative. So times two. Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, to your point, I think this documentary, the Zend Diaries of Garrett Shandling, is made for people of my generation of my age who were a little too young for Larry Sanders and a little too poor for Larry Sanders. He had shows on Showtime and hbo, neither of which I saw because we couldn't afford Showtime or hbo. So I did. We didn't get the Garry Shandling thing. And now seeing him put in context comedically, historically, is so much more helpful. Someone like me, I understand people love Gary Shandling and worship him, but I never understood exactly why, because I didn't watch those shows. And now I'm sort of getting it Because I watched the first part.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's a brilliant documentary, and it just shows, I guess. You tell me, because writing, directing, TV documentaries, do you just feel like storytelling is storytelling is storytelling?

[Judd Apatow]

I think so. And the best compliment I got on the documentary was someone said, it feels a little bit like your movies. And I thought that was good, because my movies are just trying to show that life is mysterious and hard, and we're all just trying to be happy, and we have all these obstacles along the way, and it's a mess. And we just hope we evolve and get a little better. And that really is a story of Gary's life. You know, you're wounded as a kid, bad shit happens. It fucks you up. It makes you a certain kind of person. You spend the rest of your life trying to heal, trying to figure out how to make a living or turn this pain into laughter. And then at the end of his life, he decided to not worry about his career and be more of a mentor and just be there for everybody when they needed help and advice. And in a way, I think that's everybody's life. We're just trying to figure out how to survive and hopefully evolve in a positive way.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Gary, I guess he lost his brother when he was young.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, his brother had cystic fibrosis. And so When Gary was 10, his brother was 13, died. And when you see the video of it, you realize, I've never seen Gary look this happy when his brother was alive. He just seems like a really sweet, peaceful kid. And back then, I think a lot of people, you know, when a child would die, the family didn't talk about it. So I think what happened was his parents just soldiered on and they never talked about it. So you had this little kid who no one told him how to grieve. No one told him how to get over it. And I think it led to him becoming a very sensitive, nervous person. And also it led to him spending a lot of time alone, because I think the family became somewhat obsessed with him. He was the surviving king. So how he dealt with it was going in his room, going on his ham radio, talking to people from around the world, and getting into comedy. And then comedy becomes your escape pod. And he was able to leave home and start this career.

[Adam Carolla]

He never had kids. He had girlfriends and things. But did he marry?

[Judd Apatow]

He was engaged at one point to Linda Doucet, and they lived together for while. And that's part of the documentary is that.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, she's working on the show, right?

[Judd Apatow]

That she Was on the show. She played Hank Kingsley's assistant and was really funny and very nice to me. When I first met Gary, I was in my early 20s. I would hang out with them almost like a surrogate son. I always felt like I was the experimental son, and I'd have dinner with them and just spend a ton of time with them. And then at some point, they broke up and gave. Gary fired her from the show, which was totally wrong. You're just not allowed to do that if you're dating someone on the show. You're not allowed to dump them from the show when you break up. So she sued him for wrongful termination. And in suing him, Gary went through all of his financial stuff and realized that his manager was not handling his business in an ethical way and wound up suing his manager. And that became. Became this big lawsuit that was really ugly. And seven years after the lawsuit, he gets a knock at his door and it's the FBI. And they say this private eye, Anthony Pellicano, had been bugging your phone all through this lawsuit. And Gary had to testify against Anthony Pellicano in that trial. And he went to jail for 15 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Pelcano. Yeah, I remember he was involved in many, many Hollywood cases where he was up to this nefarious activities. Brad Gray was his manager. Brad Gray just passed. Right.

[Judd Apatow]

That's part of. What's so tragic about it, is you have these two guys who met when they were.

[Adam Carolla]

Brad Gray was a kid. Right.

[Judd Apatow]

He was, like, 22 when he started managing Gary. He was. This is the strange part. He was Harvey Weinstein's partner.

[Louie Anderson]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

The old pictures came together.

[Judd Apatow]

They started a management company together. And Bus Buffalo, they signed Gary and Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, and they had this terrible lawsuit. Gary, because it was a brotherly relationship. When he felt like he had been violated, it was very personal to Gary. And he sued him for $100 million. And ultimately, Brad had to pay him a lot of money and return the ownership, his percentage of the ownership of the Larry Sanders show back to Gary. But what's so tragic about it is Brad died of cancer this year. Gary died two years ago. And it says a lot about show business and ego and what this town can do to friendships and how money becomes too important. Gary felt like he was standing up for himself. It was very important to him. And he also was paranoid. And he would say that he thought his phone was being bugged. And we all looked at him like he was not. I mean, people didn't take him very Seriously, they thought, wow, Gary's so neurotic. And then he finds out seven years later, they were bugging Kevin Nealon's phone, they were bugging Linda's phone. And everything that he feared was actually happening. And what's so strange about it is that's what Harvey Weinstein was doing to all these women is he had these ex Mossad agents pretending to be journalists or other people who had been victims. And it is kind of the same playbook of. It's kind of like Trump and Stormy Daniels. It's this. There's a whole kind of world of PIs and how people are manipulated and abused. That's fascinating.

[Adam Carolla]

I am so. I don't know. Part of me is jealous. But, you know, when they tell these stories where they go, this guy was a big comedian. He had money. So of course he had his ladies on the side, but his. His wife, she looked the other way. But he'd go out for sometimes two, three nights in a row, not come back to the wife and kids. You know, he'd be drinking and playing cards and with his ladies. And I'd go, wait a minute, Aren't I the rich? Aren't I the rich?

[Judd Apatow]

Armenian.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, how come I get yelled at when I don't come home with Chinese food? How did this work? And then people do this sort of. They wax nostalgic or poetic. Like, they're like, eh, he loved the ladies. You know, I like ladies.

[Judd Apatow]

My wife's mad at me. I'm here right now.

[Adam Carolla]

It's this weird, I don't know, simpler times, but. So you. Let's talk about you. I'm envious. And, oh, I have another thought. Do you feel as I feel? A lot of comedians get to this point, and maybe Gary got to it. He died. How old was he when he died?

[Judd Apatow]

66.

[Adam Carolla]

66 when he died. I feel like Jim Carrey's here now. You're getting to this point where the beginning part is all about the grind and it's all about the work, and it's all about getting stage time. And then the second part is about how much money and how many deals and what can we do and what can I put my name on? And at a certain point, this philosophical part starts to reign in. And if you listen to guys like Jim Carrey, it's all about giving back and being at peace. And I'm happier than I've ever been because I'm not on the treadmill anymore. And maybe Gary was there, and maybe you're entering that zone. I Wonder if there's something in the mind of a comedian that once you spring that gray pube on your nut sack, you start turning that way. Because I don't feel like welders do that or roofers or bankers. I just feel like they just kind of start. Lawyers, they just start when they start, and they die when they die, but they don't have that sort of. Sort of. It's not a midlife crisis. It's sort of a midlife. What's it all about? What are we doing? It's not a substantial crisis.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not like I need a Corvette. It's. I need to give back and I need to hug my kids more.

[Judd Apatow]

I think that it's a really fascinating, complex question. I think you got to the root of the whole thing. I remember I went to this acupuncturist, this old Japanese woman, and we were just talking about fear of death. And she said, you know, Judd, the thing is, you're built to fear death while you have a lot of energy and you're young and you want to do things and accomplish things. But you'll see, as you get older, it starts to go away. And then by the end of your life, you're ready to let go. And you're built that way. Everyone is built that way. So on some level, you could say. Say there's something specific about rich people, famous people, people who've had their dreams come true, who realize that what life is about, the joy of life may not be that you hosted the Tonight Show. It may not be that you accomplished this. You might realize, like, oh, all those things I thought would make me happy. I'm one of the rare people who got to do them. And maybe it was more fun just hanging out with my friends. Friends. Maybe it was more fun playing with my kids or whatever. And so I think a lot of those guys have that crisis, because they do. They do have an experience that very few people have, which is, does your dreams coming true make you happy? And, yeah, welding is hard, but as someone who used to wash dishes and bus tables and stuff, there was a great joy in washing dishes. There was a great mental freedom in not sitting home going, if I don't think of another good joke, this is all over. Like. Like, there's a. There's a mental stre in the arts that people don't understand, where I would just laugh my ass off all night long washing dishes. Like, here's the dish. Clean it, put it back. I would just laugh. I'd sing. Who Songs all night long. And so I think it's a different experience a lot of people are having. And it's hard for people who do manual labor to understand the torture of wondering if you'll ever write a hit song again and doubting yourself and hating yourself. I mean, all these bands, you're like, what I'm sure, like, I always think about, like REO Speedwagon, they're just going like, why the fuck can't I write another hit song? And that is, you know, that might be a worse feeling than just working hard every day and going home and having accomplished your. Your thing. So I have compassion for everyone, and I think it's all interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

I. So there's a. There's a thought which is, if you wash dishes or you swing a hammer, clean carpets, or you do what I used to do or what Judd and many people used to work at McDonald's. Once you punch out, like, you literally punch out, and then you go home. Now it's a small apartment and you're on a futon and you have some roommates, but you're done. And I didn't go home from McDonald's and think about how to construct a better burger. I was done. And when I was done, construction was 3:30 Friday done. Like Fred Flintstone down the dinosaur's tail and pow. Off to the drive in theater. And I never like, sat around on a Saturday ruminating about Joyce hangers or Tico clips. I was just done. And I would work some odd jobs on weekends and things like that. But I mean, it wasn't. My head wasn't filled with thoughts of what about. And so the thing about comedy, and I guess you could say the same thing about what Mark Garrigus does, you never really get to punch out. You can take your dog for a walk, but you're going to be thinking about the case, thinking about the special, thinking about cutting the shandling dock. You know, you never really have that escape, per se, and it's impossible to escape it because as long as you're waiting. And by the way, I have dreams about doing sets and doing comedy and editing stuff and stuff like that. You never really can escape it. So there's probably something to be said for jobs that literally have a time clock where you just punch out.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, it is about the satisfaction you get from work. Gary made the Larry Sanders show, which was making fun of a fictionalized talk show host who was such an egomaniac that he would go home after taping the show and immediately watch the show. So I just did an interview with Larry King, and his wife was on an early episode of its Garry Shandling show. And the first thing he says to me is, yeah. He said, when they used to go out on dates, they'd watch the show. And that's what Gary was making fun of, is the idea that being famous makes you happy and that you're chasing it and chasing it and chasing, chasing it. And you don't realize that what should make you happy is just the people in the office. Gary used to say, larry Sanders show is about people who love each other, but show business gets in the way, this chasing all the time. And, yeah, it's hard to know if people who can shut it off, they put on the game and they're happy. Sometimes I'm sitting home and say, I'm just hanging out. Part of my head's going, the next script isn't good yet. When will it be good? Maybe it'll never be good. Maybe I'll work on it for three years, and the day it comes out, the whole world will go, judd, what you just did was shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

And it's a strange feeling.

[Adam Carolla]

You're the next REO Speedwagon. The Aria Speedwagon of Ario, Chudwagan of comedy.

[Judd Apatow]

And I love REO Speedwagon. I love stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

That notion of. I always talk about that step backwards moment is the worst. That moment where you realize you. So if you're REO Speedwagon, you should be happy. Except for you're not, possibly, because everything's in the rear view mirror.

[Judd Apatow]

Exactly. It's like being a football player or something, and you have a moment of glory and what does it feel like? There are certain people who. They switch jobs or they go into politics and football players have another.

[Louie Anderson]

Part.

[Judd Apatow]

Of their lives and then. And some just talk about that era. And I think the thing that Gary did and that Jim Carrey does sometimes is they try to take a real break and go, if I wasn't this guy that you all think I am, who am I? Who am I without comedy? Who am I without show business or without anyone recognizing me? And they were spiritual people. And Jim is a spiritual person who's trying to explore his essence without. Without being Ace Ventura, without being Larry Sanders. What is that? And I think what's fascinating about Gary is he decided that the best part of him was the giving part. And in his journals near the end of his life, he just wrote, give to others. That's the win. And that's where he got to.

[Adam Carolla]

Where did all the journals come from. How did you find out about them and obtain them and all that?

[Judd Apatow]

Gary talked about them a little bit, but I put together his memorial service, and I was putting a book together of photos, and I asked his estate if I could scan some pages in these journals, which I had stumbled upon as we cleaned up his house. And I realized instantly that there was a movie in Gary's life. And these journals and Gary, see, now.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me cut you off. Judd Apatow can't go to a deceased friend's house and clean up. Just clean, clean up and put some shit in a box without stopping and going, this is a movie.

[Brian Bishop]

See?

[Adam Carolla]

Whereas my mom could happily come over, clean up all your shit, and leave and not be burdened with the work. You're literally cleaning out a loved one's house and working like you are. It doesn't feel like work, but your brain never punched out.

[Judd Apatow]

Exactly. There may be something wrong with me. My kids, when I'm gone, they will have a dumpster pulled up to the house. They toss it all in hard drives. There's the lack of interest in all the ephemera of my life is startling.

[Adam Carolla]

My kids are gonna fire a flare gun in slow motion, just through a sliding glass window, and then slowly walk away again. It's all in slow motion. They're not even gonna pull a dumpster up. That's expensive.

[Judd Apatow]

It's hard. I mean, it's hard to shut that off. And I think Gary was someone that I always thought was being forgotten, like, very. He didn't work a lot in the last 10 years of his life. And I always try to remind people so much of modern comedy comes from Garry's work. You know, these guys who wrote for it's Garry Shandling show, they all went and made the Simpsons, and they said that a lot of the reason why was Gary just blew the wall open of what was possible in a sitcom. Sitcoms used to all look like all in the Family, and they're very simple. And then suddenly Gary took this imaginative approach. And Sam Simon, who worked at it's Garry Shandling show, was one of the creators of the Simpsons. And Rhys and Gene worked at its Garry Shandling show and then at Larry Sanders. The same thing. That kind of awkward documentary feel. Comedy is now what most comedies are.

[Adam Carolla]

I will tease this. I'm always envious of people who know what they want to do do at an early age. And Judd knew what he wanted to do at an early age. Hence he has a lot of interviews, interviewing a lot of super Notable comedians from when he was, I don't know, 15, 16. And so Judd knew he was on this trajectory. Now the question is sort of, and I'm not sure if it's answerable, but was Judd's ability propelling him or was it his desire and love of all things comedy that propelled him and then developed the ability as you embarked on this journey? Don't answer. Second one, damn it.

[Judd Apatow]

Second one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but how could you be funny? I mean how could you make yourself funny? Well, no one is really funny at 15, but there's funny for 15, you.

[Judd Apatow]

Know, hard to say. I look at my old stand up from when I did it in my early twenties. It is awful.

[Adam Carolla]

But that's, that's a chick looking at her hairstyle from the 80s. Like it's always spuds Mackenzie posters in the background. Like it's always a disaster. But you can't really say oh, you were a dog. You can say oh, your hair looked like everyone else's fucked up hair. And that's that time period. And it's kind of. It can go no other way. You can't be fantastic stand up comedian when you're 17 and a half, half or even 22. And there's occasional Chris rocks or whatevers. But you can't really judge it by being harsh on your old standup. I mean in order to write these movies, in order to do what you do, you have to have an ability. And it can't just all be desire. And it can't just be all developed from a desire. No more than you could wish long yourself into the NBA because you just love the power forward position. All right, we'll get into this a little deeper. I want to know how it started. But first I'll tell you guys about blinds Galore. They're having their friends and family sale. It's going on now. Everything up to 50% off. Their biggest sale of the year won't last forever, so hurry. Blinds galore.com we use them here. I have them in the edit bays. We have them in the studios. I have them at home. They are everywhere there's a window. They're high quality, 100% custom built blinds and shades created to your exact measurements over 15 years experience, over 2 million windows and counting. They have a team of experts. They're located out in San Diego, California. They'll help you online or over the phone. They'll send out free samples. You get it all dialed in and then you'll get the custom blinds and shades you've always Wanted blinds galore. They'll even set you up with free samples. I think up to like 10 or 12 colors. I've up picked them out before. Drew has them. I have them. Everyone here has them. Free shipping on top of free expertise. It's blinds galore, Dawson. Blinds galore makes it easy to get the 100% custom blinds and shades you've always wanted in your home. Their friends and family sale is going on now, so check out blindsglour.com before it ends on March 28th. Let them know we send you. That's blindsgalore.com so, Judd, early and often for you. I mean, you. I don't know if you knew what you'd be doing, but you knew kind of comedy was going to be in the picture and you had the wherewithal and the chutzpah and whatever to go interview all these comedians at such a young age. Was there any other choice for you or was it always comedy? And did you know what you wanted to do within comedy?

[Judd Apatow]

It's so funny because I had to think about all this because I just taped one of those master class like, you know how you can go online and buy a course, and I had to come up with five hours of talking about this. So I have recently thought it through, and what happened was I was 10. My grandma was great friends with a comedienne named Todi Fields who was like a Joan Rivers type.

[Adam Carolla]

She was a big gal, right?

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. And hysterical. Really genuinely, riotously funny. And so we used to go see her, and at some point, she got diabetes and she had her leg amputated. Then she went on a tour with one leg.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the only time she's been under £200. Exactly.

[Judd Apatow]

Boom. And she would come out in an electric wheelchair. I saw her at Westbury Music Fair in New York, and the place went crazy. And I think in that moment I thought, I feel like such a weird freak. And look at this woman getting a standing ovation, being showered with love. It was. It must have just hit me that this was a way that you could live your life. And also my family talked about her like she was the most special person in the world. That's Molly's best friend is Tony Fields. And I thought, oh, that's the kind of person you want to be. And then I was into the Marx brothers and Abbott and Costello, and then it turned into George Carlin and Richard Pryor and Cosby and then Steve Martin and Saturday Night Live and nationally and Putin's Animal House. And when my parents Got divorced. My mom took a job as a hostess at a comedy club. And looking back, I always think on some cosmic level or personal level, she must have done that only for me, because how much can you get paid to seat people at the comedy club? That's all she did, is just.

[Adam Carolla]

She sat them.

[Judd Apatow]

She sat them.

[Adam Carolla]

She didn't. Cocktail waitress.

[Judd Apatow]

And this is an upper middle class or lower upper class woman going through a terrible divorce. Divorce. And she takes that job. And so one summer I watched every comedian in that club all summer long. Paul Provenza came in and Leno and I think Harry Anderson, people like that in the early 80s. And then I said, oh, I want to talk to these people. How can I talk to these people? And my high school had a radio station and I said maybe I could do my own talk show. And I would go out with a little tape recorder and begged Seinfeld and Leno to talk about to me. And before the Internet and podcasts, they were all bored. No one wanted to talk to Jerry Seinfeld in 1983. I mean, other than maybe some morning radio. They weren't doing long form interviews about the craft. So I was able to get everyone. And then that became college. Even when I was at usc, I thought I kind of learned most of the stuff from the 50 interviews about what I wanted to do. And I started when I was 17.

[Louie Anderson]

And.

[Judd Apatow]

And when I stopped, I was 24 and I started writing for television. But I was pretty obsessed with it. And it is an escape pod. You just think, how am I going to get out of this town? How am I going to pay my bills? And I really busted my ass to learn as much as I could.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you? I've told this to Judd before, but maybe some of the people listening didn't. I don't know it, but many years ago when Jimmy and I were summoned into Ivan Reitman's office to create a comedy movie, a buddy movie, probably circa 2002 or 2003 or something. I think it was 2002, actually. Reitman doesn't mince words. And it's funny. I hesitate to call him a douche because he's not, but I've been yelled at him. And so is Jimmy.

[Judd Apatow]

He's Frank.

[Adam Carolla]

He's Frank. He's Frank. Frank meets in a Hurry Crates Douche.

[Brian Bishop]

Frank meets Kurt. They had a baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's Kurt and he's Frank and he's kind of. His time is. Time is money with him. And he'll tell you some stuff like I told you X Y and Z on this script. And we'd be like, yeah, we didn't get around to it. And he'd be like, stop wasting my fucking time. Then like stuff that like, like that. But it's true, because he's him and we pitched him, Jimmy's a virgin. He's the 33 year old virgin. Like, he's 33 and I'm his buddy and I'm gonna get him laid, you know? And Ivan was like, that's a horrible fucking idea and no one will ever go for it. No one is gonna believe there's a 33 year old guy who's a virgin. It's a stupid fucking idea.

[Brian Bishop]

Now you tell me He's a 40 year old virgin and we got something. Now you cook them with gas.

[Adam Carolla]

But would.

[Judd Apatow]

Would he believe they were eagles who were legal?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Deborah Winger, his greatest work. Yeah. So he just yelled at us for that idea, but everyone turned that down. By the way, I'm.

[Judd Apatow]

I pitched that everywhere, and only one place thought it was a good idea. I went to Sony, I remember, and, and, and I was pitching it. I'm like, I'm telling you, Carell's the guy. This is the idea. And they're like, judd, just keep your eye on the ball with your other stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you know my new move, because every time I talk to an author, they go, oh, before I was a New York Times bestseller, I was turned down by 15 publishing houses. My thing is, whether it's Judd in his movie or the young author. How many times you been turned down? Twice. Come back when it gets to like the low teens, double digits. Because I know how these stories go. You barely started. Just like the doctors who tell you to get your affairs in order, maybe two years, tops. That was 41 years ago. Like, I want to be that doctor and that guy who turns down Judd Apatow. So for you, in a world where now your thoughts turn to things that are more of a serious nature, like the Shandling documentary is very compelling. It's got a lot of pathos, it's got a lot of comedy. Comedy. But it also has a lot of very interesting thought provoking material in it. And if you've stated earlier, this is sort of philosophically what you're thinking about, are there projects in the future for you that have of a more serious nature? Your Razor's Edge. What was the Bill Murray that was Razor's Edge movie? Yeah, there it is.

[Judd Apatow]

A very good book. A very good, good book. But I don't know, I feel like sometimes you make these things in a trance, even if it's two years, you're just obsessed on it, then it ends, and then you think, what the hell just happened? And I don't know if I'll ever have a subject, both as a person and the ideas in it that will ever be as strong as this one. Because through Gary's life, you could talk about everybody's life. You could talk about spirituality and comedy. And almost everything I'm interested in, in is in this documentary. So hopefully I'll think of something else. But I don't have anything ahead of me that clearly covers that. But I really enjoyed writing the episode with Pete this year for Artie Lang on Crashing that was about Artie's addiction. It was great to try to make a very thoughtful, heartfelt episode about what Artie's struggling with. And we called Artie and said, let's talk about it. Let's not pretend this isn't happening. You're having issues and issues with addiction, and this is a gift you can give the world. Hey, this fucking sucks. This is painful. This is terrible. And maybe you could warn some people off of getting yourself into this situation. And he was really brave and hysterical and was able to do an episode that I think is as well acted as anything I've ever seen in an as honest as anything.

[Adam Carolla]

Artie's a really good actor who doesn't get credit, I think, for being as good actor as he is.

[Judd Apatow]

He knows his craft. He's not stumbling into it. He really knows what he's doing. And we would call him up and go, artie, if someone was talking to you and you were bullshitting him that you weren't high, but you are high even while you're bullshitting him, what would you say? And he would lay it out. He's also a great writer. He's a guy of many talents, and. And so writing like that and work like that is very satisfying. But at the same time, every once in a while, something like walk hard will come on tv, which I worked on, and I thought it's fun to just be really silly. And there's a place to just try to make people piss their pants as your contribution to society. So I'm sure it may be that that's the move is Crashing.

[Adam Carolla]

So speaking of crashing, I had a problem with my dvr. And the. The solution was take the kids DVR and put it in my room. So I got a lot of their shit on my DVR now, and I'm trying to get myself reconjiggered but I haven't seen Crashing in, like, two weeks. Is it.

[Judd Apatow]

It's over this.

[Adam Carolla]

It's over for this. The last episode was the Roast Battle.

[Judd Apatow]

That was the last episode.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. All right. I've been searching. It's such a good. It's really. It's so well done because it has. Has that pathos, but has tons of comedy, but it also has a sort of reality. It lives in a world that is just 100% reality. It just doesn't have a lot of false notes, which you run into a lot when they do comedy.

[Judd Apatow]

I think that's probably the highest value for me, which I learned from Gary, is removing false notes. That's all Gary ever preached, is truth. Getting to the core, going as deep and as complex as you can get in the work.

[Adam Carolla]

Jeannie had a question.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, just along those lines, but in a fairly different genre. Love is one of the most amazing series I've ever seen, and I was so excited to see that it was coming back.

[Adam Carolla]

Netflix.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. And I was so mesmerized by the first episode by going, I live in la, and this really feels like la. This really feels like two people in this town, not what we want the rest of the world to think it feels like. And it's just so gripping and so amazing. And I couldn't help but wonder what it was like having your daughter as a pretty big story arc at one point.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, my daughter Iris is super funny.

[Gina Grad]

She's 15 and, like, going on 45 in that. In her strength and in her humor.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, she's really tough and funny and very comfortable on the set, very comfortable act. And she plays this spoiled child star, and it's with the weight of the.

[Gina Grad]

World on her shoulders.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah. And she's kind of pissed off and over it already. And this year, I directed an episode and wrote an episode to test her acting. So just for fun, I wrote an episode where she plays every emotion. She falls in love, she gets her heart broken, she's furious, she murders someone. And I just tried to put her through her paces. And she is incredible in the episode. And, yeah, I'm really proud of her. And she's tough on me. You know, kids are so tough. Like, I say this in stand up, but it's true. Like, my daughter now lives alone with us because my oldest daughter went to college.

[Adam Carolla]

Maude.

[Judd Apatow]

So the joke I say, but it does capture our lives, is she hates living just with her parents because four people is a family and three people is a child. Observing a weird couple and that is what our life is like now. Just her looking at a us going like, what are you guys doing? You know, and teenage years are tricky. How old are your.

[Adam Carolla]

They're 11 year old twins. But she's going on like 49 and.

[Brian Bishop]

Like he's holding steady.

[Adam Carolla]

She is, yeah, he's, you know, she's. Well, what, what you, what you realize is the. Okay, so I've always said this. I hope they're not listening. All right, I'm on.

[Judd Apatow]

So, you know they're listening.

[Adam Carolla]

So here's the thing. I've always said, like, you can take an asshole and a laid back person and they can get along just fine. And we've seen it at work a million times. And not even like, it's not even like we've had directors at the man show that had motors in them, had real strong opinions, would. Would kind of get in your face and whatever it is. And if you're wired as sort of a low resting pulse rate, like you have what Dr. Drew says I have, which is I can climb out of a race car and you can check my pulse and it's the same as if I was watching tv. I just don't have that. If a car backfires, I don't jump. I just have. I'm wired low. It's not great for getting stuff done, but it's great for not being startled.

[Gina Grad]

Not great for romance.

[Adam Carolla]

Not great for romance or great for romance. Oh.

[Gina Grad]

Or is it.

[Adam Carolla]

But if you take two people that are both hard chargers and super opinionated and we won't call them assholes, we'll just say type A. Type A and headstrong. You put them together, they hate each other because they just see in each other what they see. And. And two laid back people can work. A laid back and a headstrong person can work. But two headstrongs come together. And as my daughter becomes headstrong, she now does battle with my wife and the nanny, who don't admit it, but they're super headstrong too. And then my son and I just look at each other while these epic kitchen battles are taking place.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, girls are genetically programmed to turn on their moms at some point.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Judd Apatow]

Right. There's just no way to stop it. You could just see it in their eyes.

[Brian Bishop]

The house.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it starts off with just like, who's wearing my shoes? Like, which my son can't wear pumps. Or if he can, that'll. That'll come a little later in life. But the point is, is it starts with, like, borrowing clothes, borrowing makeup, mussing with stuff. Like, you see all those who got into my stuff. And there can be only one answer, because there's Sonny, there's me, and there's Phil the Labrador. So the answer of who got into her stuff has to be the daughter. And then there's just some sort of battle for supremacy over who's gonna rule the kitchen. Not by cooking, but it's a land battle, it's not a cuisine related battle.

[Judd Apatow]

That was an ugly day in my house when, like, when they realized they had the same size shoot shoe. And then you thought, oh, we're off to the races now.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Judd Apatow]

Or just my. Well, the funniest is that my youngest daughter, Iris, is now taller than her older sister, who's 20. And so she'll borrow some clothes and then model, flip out. And Iris just doesn't care at all because she's, you know, she could take her, right?

[Adam Carolla]

And versus my son. I came into his room last night, he was just sitting there listening to his Lexa. And I'm like, alexa. And I said, what are you listening to? And he's like, I'm listening to Nirvana. And I said, oh, let me give you some suggestions. And then we switched over to Pearl Jam. Then we switched over to Old Joe Jackson. And listen, some what delightful experience youth.

[Brian Bishop]

Must be for this child.

[Adam Carolla]

And then he's talking about how he loves on the Man. And we went over Look Sharp the whole album and on the man and everything else. And he, he's just. I always say it this way. I always go, look, I have a son and a daughter. And people say, what's it like? Boy and a girl, twins. What's that like? And I always go, raising my daughter is like raising three people. And raising my son is like raising one old cat. And that's basically exactly how it works out.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah, my kids just would rebel against my music. I dream of putting on a JoJo Jackson record and having my daughters like it. But just recently, Iris, just out of the blue, you know, every day we go to school, she puts on her music. She doesn't want to talk the entire 20 minute drive to school. That's her time to not talk. So she says very clearly, we're not gonna talk. And then she just DJs the drive. And the other day, just out of the blue, she puts on the Pixies.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Judd Apatow]

Then a couple of days later, Hart.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Judd Apatow]

And I'm like, wait, it's expanding. But I can't push it. I can't push it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's very true. He's into John Hyde and Graham Parker and Joe Jackson and whatever. And you can go, well, that's the stuff you like. He likes. Yeah, well, I expose Natalia to the same stuff, but she's listening to Katy Perry and all the, you know, junky, popcorny, saccharine.

[Judd Apatow]

Lauryn Hill just hit the playlist. I was very excited.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it is nice when they come around. All right, one more. Let's see. I want to tease. I'll tease it quickie for Judd. I know he's going to be out of here soon. You have 15 things going all the time, I'm guessing. Are there some part twos of Knocked up or all the other Talladega nights? We always talk about how much we love Talladega nights and how not underappreciated, but in a weird way underappreciated in just the pantheon of comedies because that movie had so many laughs in it. Maybe the subject was too broad or the comedy was too broad to get sort of put in the snooty guys top 10 comedy, but the laughs were all there. But what are you working on? What can you tell us about what's a follow up to or something we'll know and. Or are we going to do some more documentaries? I'll tell you guys about ZipRecruiter man hiring. Every business needs great people and a better way to find them. ZipRecruiter built a platform to find the right candidates for you. ZipRecruiter learns what you're looking for, identifies people with the right experience, and invites them to apply to your job. 80% of employers who post a job on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate in just one day. Imagine that, 80% in just 24 hours. The right candidates are out there. ZipRecruiter is how you find them. So what do you do? Well, right now my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Just go to ZipRecruiter.com Zip ZipRecruiter.com Adam if you're looking for somebody or maybe you want to be found. Ziprecruiter.com Adam Smartest way to hire is with our good friends over at ZipRecruiter. I am playing Cleveland, the Agora. Is that it? Is that it?

[Gina Grad]

The Agora Theater.

[Adam Carolla]

Agora Theater. That's May 16th, Detroit, Royal Oak. May 17th, Madison, Wisconsin. I think that one's going to sell out. That's April 6th. And then. And we're doing a live podcast, Santa Ana Esports Arena, Portland, Aladdin Theater, two shows. We'll do a standup special there. And Seattle, the Moore Theater Live podcast. Check that out. Go to ampcroll.com where did you shoot your standup special?

[Judd Apatow]

I shot it in Montreal at the Plaza des Arts Artis. Something French. And I love the Moore Theater in Seattle.

[Adam Carolla]

So beautiful.

[Judd Apatow]

We did the Train Wreck tour there, there, and that was incredible. Eddie Vedder came to that show. Well, that was exciting.

[Adam Carolla]

You know the. You know when people do the. Well, when did you realize you'd showed up? You made it or something? I have two. One, when Axl Rose asked a question about me, like, 1994, like, someone said. Axl said he thought you'd be older or something. Axl Rose had a question about me. And then the other was playing the Moore Theater and looking up in the balcony and picturing Eddie Vedder swinging from the lighting rig in Evenflo. And I was like, wow, I'm on the same stage as Eddie Vedder.

[Judd Apatow]

That place is. That's a perfect comedy.

[Adam Carolla]

It's beautiful.

[Judd Apatow]

And you're taping a special.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm taping a special in Portland at the aladdin theater on June 9th. And that's why I was asking, because when I was watching your special, you were walking down the streets in New York, and you were going down in, like, the Comedy Cellar and stuff like that, but then you ended up at a place that didn't look like that.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, that was in the commercials, was me asking advice from different comedians about doing a special and them all discouraging me and Chris Gethard, Birbiglia. Just saying, you have so much to lose. Everything. But, yeah, but I prepared at the Cellar in New York, and I went to the DC Improv and some other clubs to prepare, but it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Forgive me for being technical for a second, but just as a guy who's getting ready to shoot, I use the red cam. I'm curious about, did you do two for four?

[Judd Apatow]

And show four is the one I used mainly.

[Adam Carolla]

Just pretty much just used the whole.

[Judd Apatow]

Show because I'm a choker, and if I had to do it in one night, I could have a bad first and then second set. Be so nervous. The first one went bad, and then tank the second set. So I actually did four shows. They all went pretty well, but most of it is from the last show, and that cost me some dough. They don't want to have you do multiple nights. But I thought, you know what? This is important to me, and I'd like to get it.

[Adam Carolla]

How big was the room. It was raked nicely and it looked nice.

[Judd Apatow]

A little under 300. And I was wanted to have it feel a little more intimate, like a club. I generally am not a big fan of shows where there's like 3,000 or 5,000. I feel like the more theaters like the perfect size, like the 1200, 1500 for me when I watch comedy I don't need there to be another 30,000 people I can't see there. I like the sound of laughs when it's not like an Elton John concept.

[Adam Carolla]

And I saw you had some notes, some sheets of stuff, some cheat notes for lack of a better term out on. On your bench with you. But I didn't know. I never saw you really glance at them or look at them. I didn't know if it was a menu of jokes or beats or something. And I was kind of looking at. You could see in a few shots like oh, he's got a mug of water. And I'm assuming it was water and a couple of notes. But he's never seen to be referring to that.

[Judd Apatow]

Well, on that piece of paper I had I read this poem I wrote when I was 14 about my parents divorce. So that was one of the bits. And then I'm sure underneath it I had a set list in case I just had a wide eyed panic and couldn't remember anything so I didn't have to look at it. But it was there in case I flipped out.

[Adam Carolla]

So projects coming up.

[Judd Apatow]

Projects. Well, the main thing is love on Netflix and crashing streaming on hbo. Garry Shandling documentary, the Avett Brothers documentary which is streaming on HBO which people have really liked.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, I did not see that one.

[Judd Apatow]

The Avett Brothers is this great country, rock, folk, Americana band that we followed on and off for about two years. And it's very different than the Gary doc in some ways because it's about two brothers that really love each other and get along and are happy. It's the opposite of this super neurotic creative person. Although you do see them writing and recording and how they take their lives and what's happening and turn it into creativity. So it's similar in that way. But that's a very good documentary with some great music in it. And then the Masterclass, which I don't know if it's masterclass.org or.com but if you are interested in writing and directing and performing. I tried to put down on video what I generally tell people when I'm mentoring them. And I learned a lot about mentoring from Gary who mentored Me. And that was something that he cared about. Gary had this crazy experience where he was 20 years old and he went to go see George Carlin. And Carlin wasn't a big star yet because he just became the hippie George Carlin. And he wrote jokes for him to. He tried, Tried to sell him jokes. And he got Carlin at the bar to talk to him. And Carlin said, come back tomorrow, I'll have read them. And he comes back and they're laid out on a table, and he had little markings on them. And he said, you know what? I don't buy jokes, but there's a great one on every page. So if you want to be in comedy, I would pursue it. And Gary just moved to California. And I always felt like that planted the seed for mentorship and Gary, that that kind of encouragement can change somebody's life.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I agree. And I'd like to dig a pit and fill it with all the people that did the opposite of that. Exactly. They told you to stop coming up. Like, where they just went, I don't. I'm not seeing it. Or I don't think so. Or you should get your contractor's license or whatever that thing was.

[Gina Grad]

Start with Mr. And Mrs. Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, if you think about it, it's a two way street there. Mentorship, if you think about it. Because if you said to George Carlin, hey, man, how about it? And he went, hey, there's something here. If he crumpled it up and wiped his ass with it and threw it at him and said, look, I'm a pro and I'm telling you now, don't waste your time. Well, in a way, that could be worse than the. I mean, is worse than positive, but would be worse than. Than anything that could happen. Like that could stymie a career. You could destroy a career.

[Judd Apatow]

That's a story in my Santa special is Jim Henson of the Muppets did that to me. I auditioned for Jim Henson. He tried to buy all my pitches for what could be in the show. And they said that they didn't want me on the show, they just want me as a writer because he thought I lacked warmth. And it devastated me. It might have been why I didn't do comedy for 222 years, because I thought, this is Kermit the Frog. I mean, this guy could take ping pong balls and make it the warmest character in the world.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Judd Apatow]

He's telling me I lack warmth. Although I kind of don't believe it. I just don't believe that the casting director didn't just say it. I can't believe that he said it. I think that it must have been.

[Brian Bishop]

A casting director who likes Warp Now.

[Judd Apatow]

Dark.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, again, I was there when I. They wanted me to do a radio show and like I said, I don't want to do it alone. But how about we do it with me and my buddy Jimmy Kimmel do it. And the program director's like, he's not on air talent. He's producer, he's writer, he's behind the glass talent. But he's not on air, not front of the microphone talent.

[Judd Apatow]

There's so many of those.

[Adam Carolla]

Everybody does. And my point is, is I don't know, maybe that's your opinion. Obviously you need a recalibration if that is your opinion. But why are you sharing it so readily with everybody?

[Judd Apatow]

I have one of those. We went in and met with the head of Fox movies during In Living Color. And me and my manager who represented Jim Carrey at the time said, we think Jim Carrey's a giant movie star. And they just said, nope, they had no interest.

[Gina Grad]

And that's it.

[Judd Apatow]

And it was at Fox, like, this is your guy. He's already on the line lot. He's 50ft from here. And there's so many of those. Seth Rogen. I couldn't get to be the lead of Undeclared. They were like, no. I mean, they laughed at me when I said it.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a weird and somewhat unfair business because if I walked into any college campus with a 19 year old Herschel Walker and went, this guy's gonna carry the rock for your team. They wouldn't go, get the out of here.

[Brian Bishop]

I know talent.

[Adam Carolla]

They just see his quads pushing through his slacks and his guns. And they'd go, what's his 40 time? And he go, I don't know. In flip flops, maybe four, four. And he can. How many times can he put up £220? I don't know. Because we lose count. Like, we all get bored and we go somewhere to eat. When he gets to like 35, we go to the Applebee's and we come back and he still doing it. And you go, fuck yeah, that guy's on our team. And there's no such thing as Shaquille o' Neal walking into his high school coach's office and going, I'm gonna play some and how about you pick up a mop instead? Like, there is none of that in comedy. That's all there is. It's you standing in front of unfunny people going, how about you give me a chance? And they're going, I don't think so.

[Judd Apatow]

Oh, I have this funny story about Shan. Language. He.

[Adam Carolla]

And also, let me just say it and tell me this story. But also, the problem is, yes, nobody looks like anything. Seth Rogen doesn't look like a leading man and Gary Shandling doesn't look. And Jimmy Kimmel. Nobody, when they're 25, looks like anything. So how can you say that? And if he looked like Rock Hudson, he wouldn't be funny. All right, sorry, go ahead.

[Judd Apatow]

This story that isn't in the doc, but it may be me laugh. Gary wrote a script for welcome Back Kotter. And then he got in a terrible car accident, like a really bad car accident, and almost died and had this near death experience. And then Gary called the head writer there and he said if you would say that you were about to hire me to be a full time staff writer, I would get a lot of insurance money because I can't work because I'm injured. And the writer who didn't think Gary was a great writer said, said so. But you definitely can't write on the show. And Gary said, yeah. He goes, okay, well, then you could tell them I was going to hire you.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Welcome back. As popular but as cookie cutter and formulaic a sitcom there ever was. Up your nose with a rubber hose. Hey, sit on it. All right. Oh, that was Fonzie.

[Brian Bishop]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me tell you about Castrol Edge. If you're going up your nose with a rubber hose, you need good lubrication, man, or you will tear some cartilage. I recommend Castrol. Castrol Edge Tech advanced made engines smaller. The only thing that's stopping the metal to metal contacts a thin layer oil. So you need a strong motor oil. I suggest Castrol Edge. It's formulated. Formulated with fluid titanium technology three times stronger. Three times.

[Louie Anderson]

Three times, fool.

[Adam Carolla]

Three times stronger against viscosity breakdown than the leading full synthetic. It's the best. It's Castrol Edge. Jud Apatow. What a delight. We're so. We're a better planet with you on it. We really are. And all the amazing work that comes through you, not the least of which is the Zen Diaries of Gary Shannon. Channeling that is. Part one airs this Monday, March 26th, HBO 8 o'.

[Judd Apatow]

Clock.

[Adam Carolla]

Part two is the following day, Tuesday, March 27th. Watch them and be inspired. You really do not have to be into comedy at all to get something from this very unique and well told story. I will be watching it again. I've already seen it once. I will enjoy it again. And of course love season three now available on Netflix. And you can shoot them a tweet. Judd Apatow and anything else.

[Judd Apatow]

Judd, so happy to be here. So excited to see your Kroc doc whenever it gets out to the world.

[Adam Carolla]

We're working hard on it. But I'll give you a sneak preview of Uppity the Willie T Ribs doc.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And you can enjoy that and then we'll take it from there. All right, let's see who's out there.

[Gina Grad]

Chet Waterhouse.

[Adam Carolla]

Chet Waterhouse is out there. We'll be back with him right after a break in good sport. And now Alcoa presents Definitely Not a Jew on the Adam Carolla show. Dateline, St. Petersburg, Florida. A 23 year old man was arrested for domestic battery when dark during an argument with his girlfriend, he hit her.

With a piece of fried chicken.

Definitely not a juice. All right, Jeff Cesario in studio. I want to thank Tommy John for sponsoring this half. I'm wearing their underpants right now. You go to tommyjohn.com Adam get 20% off Beachbody. Text Adam to 30, 30, 30. Set up your free trial at Beachbody and geico. Go to geico.com good to see you, Jeff Cesario.

Thanks. Good to see you guys. My Tommy John underwear actually had Tommy John surgery.

You know Judd well, you knew Gary well. You've been Jeff Cesario has been around this town doing comedy for many, many years. Oh, Larry Sanders show. That's right. You were there for all of it. Yeah. Any stories come to mind?

Well, first of all, Judd was Judd and I started by writing for Garry Shandling when he would host award shows. So as you know from having been through some Academy Awards show rooms now and been in your own rooms and whatnot, a Paul comes over a writer's room about seven weeks into a project.

Like that where everybody's just out of gas.

And Judd was great because he could bust that. Judd was like a great concept guy. He kept coming up with concepts and then he'd move and he had all that energy because he was so young. So 3am you're sitting in a room with a bunch of cynical writers and nothing's happening. And Judd would just jump up and go, come on, two guys in a phone booth, one of them's trying to eat a Chinese chicken salad.

[Gina Grad]

Let's go.

[Adam Carolla]

You go, what? And then like three weeks later, there's the Chinese chicken salad gag on the Grammys and you're like, how'd that happen?

What happened?

So he just was so full of. I could understand why Gary really, really cotton to him.

Well, we have some Chetwaterhouse to get to. We also have the Gina Grad final. What are we at? Sweet 16 of March gradness. March Gradness. That is right. So we're gonna keep whittling that down. Let's get into some chetwaterhouse first, shall we? The sports with Jet Waterhouse, brother.

Hello again, everybody. Chet Waterhouse with the Waterhouse update, brought to you by Simpatico, the toilet that just gets you. Let life flow with Simpatico. March Madness. Vegas bookies losing cash like a Trump lawyer. Loyola of Chicago hasn't been to the sweet 16 since back when gluten did not kill you. Number one, Virginia fell apart faster than a vegan cookie. Beaten by University of Maryland. Baltimore County. When you lose to a college with the word county in its name, switch to choir competitions. Nevada on a comeback more improbable than scritty polity. Syracuse gives Jim Boeheim a victory in his 103rd coaching season. Seriously, he's the Christopher Plummer of college hoops that wrap up brought to you by Pearls Before Swine, the black tie all pork restaurant. NBA Rockets. James Harden in the lead for most valuable player. Weirdly, the guy who grooms his beard is third NFL draft. New York jets costly trade for the third pick, Adam. They gave up three second round picks and a craft brewery in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

Golf.

Rory McIlroy wins the Bay Hill Classic. I don't want to say he's scary looking, but his hometown is Leave me alone Ireland. That item brought to you by melt buckle. Change the style of your belt buckle overnight with melt Buckle smelting, mitts not included. If you want more of me this weekend, guys, I'll be in Silicon Valley covering the test flight of Google's new pilotless helicopter.

[Judd Apatow]

Whoa.

[Adam Carolla]

That's been canceled.

I got the week off.

This is Shitwaterhouse reminding you to play Westpac.

Hey, Chet Waterhouse sports. Oh, we love it. And let's make sure and listen to Chet's podcast, Play with pain, available now on Podcast 1 and Apple Podcast this week while Brian in playing with pain.

Crushed me in the pop quiz.

He is very, very. Brian is very strong in that department. Self employment imposed crush. All right, let's see. So we got March grandness. I'll hit you guys with a little Tommy John and then we'll go right into that. Man, spring has sprung. That means spring cleaning. Start with your underwear drawer, go for the mind blowing comfort of Tommy John. Underwear never rides up. Waistbands never roll down. It's wedgie proof. I wear it every single day and I'm wearing them right now. Great. If you got anything to do that involves walking the dog or taking a jog or hitting the gym. Plus socks that never fall down. And underwear stay undershirts that stay tucked in. The second skin tees, wrinkle resistant, never shrink. They also have the long sleeved stuff now. That works really nicely too. Sort of a winter attire. Works nice underneath a T shirt or if you're wearing it, sort of like long johns to bed. Very, very cozy. All backed by the best pair you'll ever wear. Or it's free. Guaranteed. Tommy John. Tommy John. No adjustment needed, Dawson. Hurry to TommyJohn.com Adam and get 20% off your first order. That's TommyJohn.com Adam for 20% off. TommyJohn.com Adam all right, so round. What are we? Round three or I don't know what to call it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, sweet 16 round.

[Gina Grad]

Sweet 16 round, revealing the next couple of bracket winners.

[Adam Carolla]

March Bradness. Yes. Are you ready, Dawson? It's time for March grad fitness, the only tournament in March that puts the.

Double D in ncaa.

All week long, we're asking you, the listeners, to decide who will move on and possibly move in with Gina Grau. Two guys who are well versed in moving in and out with women. The alimony conference. These guys are looking for love and a second income to cover all those child support payments. It's Mike and Jason.

[Brian Bishop]

Not the strongest conference here.

[Adam Carolla]

Admittedly, I'm sensing a Harley theme.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I like. I like the masculinity that's just oozing out of these pictures. I'm into it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's tartar sauce that's oozing.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, I didn't realize that. Masculinity.

[Adam Carolla]

How could you put a restraining order.

On faces like those?

You may remember our next two competitors from the missed connection conference. Actually, you probably barely noticed them, but they remember you. Their names are John and Arthur. And they were this close, man. I mean, literally had an arm around you.

[Gina Grad]

God, I'm so photogenic. Oh, I'm looking at them. Yeah, they're both very cute. You couldn't go wrong with either one of these guys.

[Brian Bishop]

Obvious fans.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Turned out to a live show.

[Gina Grad]

And they make me. They both make me smile. Look at those pictures.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, do we have two more?

Again, we need your help to select who moves on.

Unfortunately, we can't have a bunch of guys win unless Gina's into that kind of thing. Oh. Only a few spots remain. We'll discuss all the winners on Friday.

But until then, head to facebook.com AdamCorolla.

And cast your votes. We'll be back tomorrow with four more guys and another round of March Gradness.

Amazing.

It's heating up.

[Judd Apatow]

Chad.

[Adam Carolla]

I liked it. Brought to you by Slivers, the all bamboo dip and Shaw. It's tobacco free.

Yeah. You'll need a cup to spit blood into. All right, is there an official cha dip and spit cup, or does everyone have to use the goddamn Coke cans or the Budweiser cans or the clear or whatever it is, the plastic bottles? Like, it's. So. It's weird because I'm a guy who grew up with friends routinely peeing on him and was never bothered by it, but I find that repugnant when they're spitting into the. Into the bottle. Especially the clear stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

Especially the clear stuff. And it's a Coke bottle or Pepsi bottle because. And you're like, is that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll do the news chat. You hang out and crack wise. And we'll do that right after this. Give me the news with Gr. News with Gino Grad. Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gino Grad. Trouble in the middle. Celebrity drunk meltdown. See? News with Gina.

[Brian Bishop]

Gina.

[Adam Carolla]

The news with Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

Can I just tell you really fast how much this March Gradness is doing for my ego? I appreciate it. It's great. And I'm coming right off of a horrible experience at a hosting agency, so I really needed this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we were talking about that off the air.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

They didn't say no.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what is a hosting agency?

[Gina Grad]

Well, no, just. Well, no. You order girls and they come to your room. No. Like, yeah, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, buddy. It's Gina grad night. We made that up for a lot of folks that dads and grads could both be in you. You know what I mean? What do you want for your graduation gift, Tommy? Some pussy. Stage four. Stage four.

[Gina Grad]

Jaden, you know, just a regular agent and getting into, like, just, you know, hosting, like, TV hosting.

[Adam Carolla]

Hosting is a job.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of car shows I watch have pretty girls hosting. It doesn't seem like they know that much about cars, but they are hosts.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. You know, Food Network and A and E and all that stuff. And so we talked for an hour. We had this amazing conversation. I felt great. He said, you know, you're so funny and you're so warm and just great conversational and just all this stuff. It's just a shame. And because the women that we use in our department who book weigh about 50 pounds less than you and I actually heard.

[Adam Carolla]

Are they super short.

[Brian Bishop]

Primordial dwarves?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, 50 pounds less than you literally.

[Gina Grad]

Heard the sound of my own heart breaking. And in 2018, that's still a thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, there isn't. I'm trying to think, you know, 50 pounds, that's a little ridiculous. Ridiculous. Listen, I have a theory. All my theories no one can ever talk me out of because they always end up being right.

[Gina Grad]

Go ahead, shut up.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's my theory. First off, all those women are abnormally skinny. And in order to be abnormally, in order to look good on camera, you must be abnormally, unhealthily skinny.

[Gina Grad]

Lollipop head.

[Adam Carolla]

The ones that always get into the eating disorders first are the ones whose heads look too big. Because the only way that Giuliana Rancic's head cannot look big is for her body to be abnormally small. The converse of this is the reason Christie Alley can put on Kirstie Alley can put on £90 and doesn't notice. It's because her head never changes, right? So she has this thin cut face with the jaw and she would just keep getting bigger and bigger skirt ensembles. So she looks looked like the third member of heart, but she never noticed it. When you see her face is getting big, like you go, I can't eat anymore. Kirsty never had any problem because her head, she had to literally cross over into three digits. Like when she put on 30 pounds, her head looked the same. When she put on 60 pounds, her head, she had to go over, she had to put on 101 pounds in order for her to act, actually move, right?

She had to have like mastiff jowls. And then she.

[Gina Grad]

From what I'm getting from my narcissistic and super self esteem riddled problem is that you think I have fat face.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you don't. You don't have that. That's what you would hear. It's a job. You don't have that. It's a job. Where I think about it, there's like unnaturally skinny women in that job. And I don't know why you think the Food Network would let you put on a couple, for Christ's sake. You.

[Gina Grad]

And it just seems like in 2018, like it's kind of taboo and like Gauche to even.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

That's not really the thing anymore. Ashley Graham. Yeah, but, but even just like Ashley Graham is a supermodel, you know, and celebrated.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me say this.

[Gina Grad]

Celebrating your body.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna, I'm going to call myself right one more time. Is she a great big fat.

[Gina Grad]

No, she's not.

[Adam Carolla]

All the plus size models which I'm seeing now because I like, I like, like to watch the Ross commercials a lot. All the plus size models. If you look at all the plus size models, everything's plus size. Not their head, their bottoms are big. Everything's plus size. But they don't have a big face. They have a very thin, slender face that could go on a thin body. So even bones and jaws, even the plus sizers don't have the.

Don't have the people producing shows where they need host talent that comes from a host agency are people who probably failed at putting together a boy band.

Okay.

So it's that level of intelligence. They look around and they're looking like we need the latest Cobra driver turned on its head. So we need a giant head and just a shaft underneath it.

That's what they're looking for. I don't know why.

I think maybe it's to make regular people feel even worse about themselves.

[Gina Grad]

I just want to be Christina Hendricks and I want that to be.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is yes. What.

Quite frankly, I think most guys would say, yeah, I'm in.

And by the way, if I get a vote, I'm going to, I'm going to vote you guys swap out as well. I mean, if you're voting, sure, I'll put my vote in. It sounds like we all want the for that. Yes.

ABC might wonder how they got into.

The deal, but look.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, God love you. All right, well, Uber has removed its self driving cars from the roads following what's believed to be the first fatality involving a fully autonomous car.

[Brian Bishop]

According to one for fatality from the Pull every car from the road.

[Gina Grad]

Yep. The self driving uber SUV struck and killed 49 year old Elaine Hertzberg as she walked her bicycle across the street in Tempe, Arizona Sunday night. That's according to Tempe police who also noticed that a 44 year old test driver from Uber was behind the wheel. But based on the preliminary info, the car was going approximately 40 miles an hour and a 35 did not seem to slow down at all before the crash. An autonomous mode means the car is driving on its own during the test. The person just sits sitting there. They're not controlling Anything?

[Brian Bishop]

Does it say how old the victim was?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, 49. Uber's conducting tests of autonomous vehicles in Arizona, Pittsburgh, Toronto and other areas. Uber said it stopped testing the vehicles throughout the United States and Canada. And just for the record for self driving cars, dealing with pedestrians and bicycles, way more risky and more challenging than highway driving because it's. You're just going one way and you're not worried about other moving objects.

[Brian Bishop]

And we're looking at the map. That was not a crosswalk. She was crossing up several.

[Adam Carolla]

No, she was not crossing a, a.

[Brian Bishop]

Crosswalk, not a highway, but you know what I mean, a four lane road.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, look, I'm sure this was pedestrian error. You're crossing at not a crosswalk. There is no signaled area, there's no stripes on the road. It's just sort of mid highway. Kind of looks like you're even veering to the right a little. So it might be a little not so not a great place to cross if you are crossing. You know, my feeling is the onus is always on Whoever's giving away £4,000 to the other thing. You know that it's always the fault of the thing who gives away £4,000. And you're flesh and it's bonderized steel. So when you get hit by a car, it's your fault unless the car hops up on the curb and hits you in the park or whatever. Like if you're crossing the street and you're like, hey, he should have stopped or he should have, he should have seen me, or there's Rule 2 as.

[Brian Bishop]

A pedestrian crossing a crosswalk.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? So here's the thing for this atheist podcast there. My feeling is obviously this is going to happen. The question is, how many times does it happen versus how many times does it just happen anyway? Because it's not like nobody's been run over by a car crossing the street. They get run over all the time by people that are drunk or texting, texting or paying attention. And it's your fault for jumping in front of the car. I mean there's, I believe, funny thing with Mike August because when we did the Waymo thing in Austin last week, they threw a couple stats out, which is 1.2, I believe million people die on the roads, you know, driving and stuff worldwide. Whenever you hear worldwide, that's never us, you know, start including. Like, do you know that AIDS is a first rate killer amongst the heterosexual, heterosexual community worldwide, like wherever it's worldwide. So we're like, okay, well not here. Now here. I believe it was 34,000 fatalities. You know, that's basically Vietnam every 15 or 16 months worth of dead people. So if you want to think about that, that's a lot of folk. The next day when I talked to Mike, he was explaining that 1.2 million Americans die every year. I said, it's considerably. That was the worldwide one. It'd be an epidemic. Everyone you know would know somebody who died that day on the road if it was that. Those kind of numbers. But all right, so it's 34,000 people die each year on the roads and whatever number of pedestrians, cyclists and joggers. If we can cut that number down by one person, then this is great technology. I'm assuming we'll cut into it 20 fold, 50 fold. And this other sort of thought which is, hey, if one cyclist dies, even if they just didn't look right and didn't look left and had their earbuds on and walked in front of the car, then it's not worth it. It's horrible thinking because we're here to save lives.

[Brian Bishop]

We're to reduce the number.

[Adam Carolla]

And all the heroes that go, you tell that to the family of this one person. It's like, all right, but tell to the family to the 34,000 people who die every year on the highways. And yes, I will add the byways, even though I'm not sure what they are.

[Brian Bishop]

I think that was a byway.

[Adam Carolla]

I know freeways and highways. I'm not sure. Maybe that was a byway.

I think you're going to get across a byway before the other car comes. I would say that. Oh yeah, because a byway to me implies much smaller.

She stepped in front of this vehicle, otherwise she wouldn't have been hit by this vehicle. Now the vehicle could have stopped, but I don't have an expectation that vehicles will stop when I'm crossing a street. I wait for them to pass or make sure there's enough distance between me and them to get.

It'll be interesting to see what they come up with.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I just think on just a basic level is why didn't the car sensors stop when something moved in front of it? That's the basic question that I'm sure they're scrambling to figure out right now.

[Adam Carolla]

I completely agree, but since no cars really currently have that and there's a couple of brand new cars that have some technology technology, the car I'm driving wouldn't have done any differently than this car. Thus we're not at a net loss here. Cuz if I was driving, I would have run over her.

Do you think it's a conceptual which is driverless versus driver. I'm sure the argument will be if someone was controlling that car, they could have stopped. That'll be the argument.

You're probably right. And we'll have to see but everybody who again is giving away £4,000 to a vehicle. Vehicle. Gina's giving away 3,950. Yep. But around.

[Gina Grad]

Around.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I'm saying? Sure, sure, sure.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

In fact, that's their test at the agency. Can you make it across this byway?

Assume that the person who's coming your direction.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm Gina Grill.

[Adam Carolla]

You put a plate of fudge brownies on the other side. We can shave three seconds off that crossing.

[Brian Bishop]

Walk that bike, the whole crowd.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just saying when you're crossing the street, it's on you to look out for whoever and assume they may be drunk, high texting or all. All of the above.

[Gina Grad]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Gina Grad]

So the actress Cynthia Nixon officially jumped into the race for governor of New York on Monday, challenging Governor Andrew Cuomo in this year's Democratic primary. According to the York Times, Nixon's never before run for elected office and she's chosen a huge undertaking here. This is seeking to unseat a two term incumbent and a son of a three term governor who's sitting on more than 30 million in campaign cash. Her campaign immediately cast Mr. Cuomo as a quote centrist and Albany insider. And some of her initial rhetoric on inequality echoed Senator Bernie Sanders. And if the name sounds familiar, but you can't place her, she was Miranda on Sex and the City.

[Adam Carolla]

Tricky snatch. Yeah, I don't know if you want to go with Nixon. I feel like maybe that's not the greatest political.

Maybe you use your character name there.

Yeah, yeah, I saw. I have no opinions about her, but she did give a super blowhardy contribution to the blowhardy actors who gave the blowhardy pre Oscar. I can't remember if it was a Dreamer speech or whatever it was. It was one of those Mark Ruffalo driven things where everyone gets up there and plays hero for 12 minutes. Hers was particularly blowharded. That's all I recall. Other than that, no thoughts.

The first is I don't care what party you vote for or what candidate. But I get tired of the people who say I'm gonna vote for an outsider because I wanna shake things up. Where else in your life is that a good thing? Where else are you at the hospital and the doctor leans over and goes, okay, you're going in for heart surgery and we're thinking about our world renowned heart surgeon, Dr. Emil Brown, and you're on the gurney going, eh, I was thinking of maybe that kid from Big Bang Theory, Johnny Galecki. You don't think that way.

Don't do this, that.

And then I hate the use of centrist as some sort of freaking negative thing. Like, ooh, that's a bad thing if you don't commit centrist horde. No, no. That's how this country moves forward is you pull from here. People in the center, whether you consider yourself or not in the center are heroes. We have to make sense of both extremes, pull the good from both sides and figure out how to keep this thing moving forward. That's how this country got to where it is.

[Gina Grad]

Jeff Cesario for govern one of them.

[Brian Bishop]

Get him.

[Adam Carolla]

Exactly. You know, it's me.

[Brian Bishop]

Back to sports. One time I can think of in big time sports that getting an outsider in failed miserably. One time they did it and of course it failed miserably. Jerry Fous they brought in to coach Notre Dame. He was a, he was a Notre Dame lifer. He loved Notre Dame. He's a high school football and he.

[Adam Carolla]

Was like a high school receivers coach or something.

[Brian Bishop]

Legendary high school coach. Like, let's bring in Jerry Fous.

[Adam Carolla]

He loves Notre Dame.

[Brian Bishop]

He's going to turn us around. It's like 1975, that epic failure. He went to a bowl game. But it was.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, there's a reason the knob head from high school you went with is in politics. Because that's what it takes to get through this mess. And we need those people.

I say this three times a year. Now you sound like Lynette with the Jerry Faust. Yes, she was laying that analogy on me this morning. That's what I'm assuming. I don't want to accuse you, but that's what I'm assuming.

[Gina Grad]

Well, new details on the Donald Trump Jr divorce have emerged while taping Celebrity Apprentice as advisor.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, hold on.

[Gina Grad]

That was an unhappy picture.

[Adam Carolla]

We don't know. Well, sorry for jumping in, but I like to see, I get to see things through the eyes of Mark Garrigus. And when you any move that's made, Mark sees everything as a sort of strategic preemptive, something like you're not allowed to just get divorced.

[Gina Grad]

You're getting out in front or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And so, so Mark's thing, I think it was last reasonable doubt. I think it was on that last one. We talked about it, but it's so weird because I'm just like, well, you get divorced. You get divorced, or you hire an attorney. You hire an attorney. It's like, oh, no, he hired a defense attorney. He didn't hire a civil. Whatever. Attorney. It's like, oh, there's a difference. Yeah.

[Judd Apatow]

Oh, no.

[Adam Carolla]

If you hired this attorney, that means this and that and everything else. So everything you tell him. So his take on this divorce is it was something preemptive, and it didn't have to do, because if you think about, why are you getting a divorce? You know, let him get through his first cycle and see if he wins the next election. And then quietly, whatever his thought on it was, he's getting divorced because there's gonna be some legal proceedings here, and there's some asset protection there.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, well, he definitely knows more than we do, I'm sure, at this point, so I'll just fill in some of the details.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he's cynical.

[Gina Grad]

He has to be.

[Adam Carolla]

Which I'm saying he lives in that. In that world. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

So here's just some of the broad struggles.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll have him talk to Lynette later on today. Hey, sweetie. Mark says we got to get out ahead of this thing. What? We brought over some paperwork.

That's the first broaching of the subject. Hey, sweetie, we got to get out of editing. You haven't even talked to Voice.

It wasn't my idea, but Mark said we need to get ahead of you. We gotta head up at the pack.

[Judd Apatow]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

So here's the deal. While taping Celebrity Apprentice, as an Advisor back in 2011, Donald Jr reportedly fell in love with contestant Aubrey O', day, I believe from Danity Kane.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no, no, no. I don't care about any kind of Russian collusion. He's not to be trusted. Simply based on the merits of this, because I feel like I've spent some time with her, and her hair's one of all different colors, and she's kind of a drama queen.

[Brian Bishop]

Was she the one on Celebrity Rehab?

[Adam Carolla]

Or as your former age agents would say, she's host material.

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

And, oh, wait, there will be music accompanying this story.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, was she on the year I did it?

[Gina Grad]

2011. She was.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna go with her. Yes.

[Gina Grad]

You were 2011.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. But, Chris, I'm gonna be pissed if that was the year I did it, because that means you're a bad producer and person.

[Gina Grad]

All right, well, he looks that up. The extramarital affair allegedly continued for months until Vanessa Trump discovered Incriminating. Emails. According to the New York Post, Donald Trump told his oldest son to not knock it off and pressured him to stay in his marriage. The day of the 2016 presidential election, Aubrey tweeted, quote, my story I didn't tell is worth millions now. One year after the affair, Aubrey released a song by his initials. The song is called DJT Donald Trump Jr. Trump, whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

DJT.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So here's the song.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, I was there the same year I did it with her. No, that's Chris. He's a bad producer.

Man, oh man.

[Gina Grad]

You can call your own out. But here was what I think is happening. I think she's having a conversation with a guy playing Donald Trump Jr. And.

[Adam Carolla]

This is just basically in this song.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. It's basically just back and forth dialogue. You can say it was all a fucking fairytale or you can say it was real but I need to know and you know it doesn't get truth is the finds the reality of you and I forever.

[Brian Bishop]

This is the song.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I.

[Gina Grad]

She'll take it to the bridge. Don't worry.

[Adam Carolla]

Walk away. There's a bridge. I like to jump off it so I don't have to hear this anymore. I thought it was forever at the.

[Louie Anderson]

Time, but maybe I was lying to myself.

[Brian Bishop]

What if there's a double jumped in his field voice?

[Louie Anderson]

You want to. You want to.

[Adam Carolla]

Can only hope this rain delay ends.

Soon and we get back to the ball game fantasy and you want to.

[Gina Grad]

Go back and living the life that you had have.

[Brian Bishop]

Is she petty enough that this could be an actual recording of her voice for the conversation? But it's a message to him alone.

[Adam Carolla]

Guys don't want to hear this conversation the first time. Why would they put it on wax or whatever they're putting it on now.

[Gina Grad]

What made you stop believing in our world?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, world.

[Gina Grad]

So much vocal fry.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my God. The loss of the other world. I'm torn between two worlds, both of which I wanted.

I'm going to say this. The bridge is an improvement.

[Brian Bishop]

I've come around with a song.

[Adam Carolla]

The bridge is an improvement.

So is the thought that his current wife found out about the affair.

[Gina Grad]

That's the implication. Yeah. She read some incriminating emails and said this is where this is done.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh God. It's never been a. Remember I said there's never been a better time to be poor because you can get flat screen TVs for $89 and you can lease a mini with air conditioning and heat for 171 bucks a month. Never been a Worse time to be rich. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Part of.

[Adam Carolla]

Part of the reason you would be rich back in the day is to have affairs and to bribe like cops and whomever. And you can't bribe anyone anymore, and you can't around on your wife.

[Brian Bishop]

Sinatra's ghost is floating above a single tier. His cheek.

[Adam Carolla]

He would. He would have just. He wouldn't have died of natural cause. He would have killed himself. Everyone would be writing a song and posting an Instagram and a picture and a tweet of him.

[Brian Bishop]

And Dean Martin's ghost comes up and grabs. It's okay. Chinatown.

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus Christ.

Professional confessional brought to you by zenvelope. Send your bad feelings far, far away with zenvelops.

Jesus Christ.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I just.

[Adam Carolla]

All I remember from her is. Is being not attracted to her.

[Judd Apatow]

To her.

[Gina Grad]

What did you think of that voice? A lot of vocal fry is supposed to be very attractive.

[Adam Carolla]

She was. Her hair was all different colors. She was very heavy. She must have been about 115, maybe 118 pounds. So she was a. She was a moose. And just you doing that voice, I.

Realized, oh, that's the voice of the grandma in the wheelchair from 1930s movies. They've not taken that voice transplanted into the cobra driver head.

I gotta tell you, though, the Miss Argentina or whoever the other gal was who was like the beauty queen from South America or Central America, whoever she was, she, conversely was like the best looking person I've ever seen. In person. She was just the best looking person. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with Aubrey, but didn't seem like. I just feel like if you're going to rob a bank, there should be something in the safe, you know what I mean? And my feeling not worth the risk of a lifestyle, a marriage, a reputation, all your assets, what have you. Diana Mendoza. Yeah, now that's worth the risk.

[Brian Bishop]

Is there more to come with Aubrey o'? Day? Why is she in the news?

[Gina Grad]

Well, she tweeted that during the election. Well, she's in the news because when she tweeted. When he won. Now my story's worth millions. And now Donald Junior's getting divorced.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. All right. So maybe he's not getting out in front of something like Garrigus. This could be speculated.

[Brian Bishop]

This could be a side.

[Gina Grad]

A red herring.

[Brian Bishop]

A side hustle, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Or his troops are depleted and he can only get in front of one thing at a time, so his flank's wide open.

Well, this would be the time you produced a picture of the person I was talking about or looking for. It felt like you Passed it, but.

[Brian Bishop]

We'Ll put it up.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't pass it. Wow. It went back to Aubrey.

[Gina Grad]

She looks like a Disney princess bringing.

[Adam Carolla]

Up something that nobody knows within my voice. Looks in this room. Looks like, then I'm never passing. All right, you can put it. I'm passing it. I'm just talking until you get the picture done.

Diana Mendoza. They gotta bring her up from aaa. She's got the talent for the big.

She literally, you can't see it in this picture, but her neck is 11 inches long. The fine picture, like it's just one of those. She's just cut a certain way.

[Gina Grad]

She looks like human Photoshop spectacular.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, if you guys would like to get built like Diana Mendoza, may I remind you to hit up Beachbody on demand. That's right, online fitness streamer service. Unlimited access to a variety of effective world class workouts personalized to your needs, plus nutritional content. Gina, how are you doing on that?

[Gina Grad]

I just got access to all the programs and I'm going through and trying to pick the right one. There is like so many to choose from. I'm trying to pick the one that's best, but it's. I'm so excited.

[Adam Carolla]

Over 600 different workouts, programs, any fitness level, cardio, weight training, yoga, low impact, even daily dance. Annual subscription is way cheaper than any gym membership. And you can look at it when you travel on your phone, on any web enabled TV or device, your tablet, whatever it is, no reason to go. Some people have schedules. They're busy now. They just want the information. They want to be put through their paces. Do it in the comfort, safety and privacy of your own home. And right now, my listeners get a free trial membership when you text the word Adam to 30. 30. 30. That's Adam. 30.

[Judd Apatow]

30.

[Adam Carolla]

30. You try. Try it out for free.

[Judd Apatow]

Free.

[Adam Carolla]

Just try it out. Try out. Get access to all of it for free. Full access. Text the word Adam to 30. 30. 30. All right, let's do one more.

[Gina Grad]

All right, well, if you really want to take your face to the next level, metro.com suggests trying a penis facial. So apparently a bunch of celebs are doing this.

[Adam Carolla]

Metro.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, metro.com.

[Adam Carolla]

The bus people here in town.

[Gina Grad]

Nope.

[Adam Carolla]

Nope.

[Gina Grad]

The British. Oh, okay, now, and I'm just gonna tell you this in advance. I have tried something very similar to this.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me ask, if you would have.

Tried it at the right time, you'd be a host right now.

[Gina Grad]

Apparently a bunch of celebs are doing this. So there's intrigue as to what it's all about the penis. Facial is the catchy name for what the professionals called an egf. It's an epidermal growth factor facial which uses stem cells from the foreskins of of circumcised Korean boys. Stem cells work to encourage skin cells to turn over rapidly and regenerate. So they're often used for brightening, exfoliating and healing the skin. Here's how it works. Once the stem cells are harvested from the foreskin, they're infused into this microneedling technique to stimulate all the collagen production. And the reason foreskins are used is because younger skin has better quality stem cells. In Korea, boys tend to be circumcised so their foreskins are an easier way to access young skin. Especially as South Korea is home to so many stem cell banks. I've used the foreskin eye serum. It smells super weird and I don't think it did anything. But that is like this has been around for a long time.

[Adam Carolla]

An hour later you were hungry. Come on everybody.

[Gina Grad]

I get the idea.

[Adam Carolla]

Just warming up. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

I just don't, I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

You've used a foreskin eye serum.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. And it smells not good.

[Adam Carolla]

Where do you get that?

[Gina Grad]

At a very, very high end shop on Doheny. And they were like giving samples and I was like, oh, that feels weird and it smells super weird and it was super expensive and I was feeling extra self conscious and I said yeah, I'll take a bottle.

[Adam Carolla]

Could I go in there and go, hey listen, not so hot on the foreskin plan, but is there anything the young vag department that I could sort of partake in? I'm not weird.

Perhaps Argentinian women.

Turnabout is kind of fair playing if you guys are doing all this cock related work. How about a little something something for the vag look for vag oriented.

[Gina Grad]

I'm pretty sure they hit the silent alarm.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, something to clean the pores. That's all the mars is. Really?

Yeah. I'm not going to do anything weird like I'm not asking for a vag hat but something I could rub into myself or something, Something like that. Anything. Nothing at all.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you have a vajat?

[Adam Carolla]

The smell? I expect it to be weird.

[Judd Apatow]

Go ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, I'm well trained. So it's a serum.

[Gina Grad]

It's supposed to stimulate collagen because it's stem cells.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And then so this, the Korean thing is the now will the owners of the foreskin. Is it all medical work waste? Can I start Selling these things. Do you have. So if in the hospital is going to sell these things or the Korean moil.

You just wrote ABC's next sitcom.

Korean Mo. Yeah. Eight o' clock Friday. Korean Moon Jeong in Dr. Kin. So the Korean moil. Okay, so at the hospital when they take the foreskin off, they would look at that as like medical waste or something that should be incinerated. But if they're going to sell it, then don't they have to cut in the family? Pardon the pun. Yeah, on, you know, little something something. How about we. How about we wet our beaks?

[Gina Grad]

I like the way you think. And I don't know what it's like in South Korea. Korea. But like we can't sell organs here. Right? That's illegal.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

So I don't, I don't know that.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know how they transport them. But whatever truck they're using, I'm guessing it's a refrigerated truck. My decree would be you check that refrigerator unit once and then check it again because it gets hot here and I don't want that thing breaking down and bumper to bumper traffic.

How much do they take? Because it kind of sounds almost like. Are they bigger chunks? Is it like calamari, fried? I don't know what they're taking off the penis.

[Gina Grad]

There's enough and, and taking you off just enough. In this particular case, they're micro needling it into your face.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's a green. Of course they micro needle.

But they must, they, they must be. They got a heart. They have a harvest it. But at some point they need to get out the mortar and pestle.

[Judd Apatow]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Somebody like they're making a mojito.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

In terms of like, I'd like that conversation for the sweatshop kids. I got a horrible gig. I have to make Nike tennis shoes for a dollar a year.

[Gina Grad]

You should be so lucky. That's cute.

[Adam Carolla]

So you have to sew on swish stripes. Interesting.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm having vulcanized rubber all day.

[Adam Carolla]

I had a pillowcase filled with foreskins show up on my conveyor belt yesterday. Yeah, I tie some shoelaces. I put them all through one of those presses nice restaurants used for the fresh orange juice.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. You know the rubber tips to go on the end of the shoelace. I like a thousand of those.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, that's, that's called holiday for me. That's called Sunday brunch for me. Yeah.

Weirdly, this portion of the broadcast brought to you by fertilitanis, the testosterone Boosting Martin Martini Olive. This one's from Italy.

All right, so that'll work.

[Gina Grad]

Have at it.

[Adam Carolla]

Have at it.

[Gina Grad]

Penis facial. All right, all right. I'm Gina Grad and that's the news.

[Judd Apatow]

If I don't think of another good joke, this is all over. Gina.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad. Ah. Let me tell you about geico. Everybody's got the to do list. How about we go with Geico? Save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance. You don't have to go anywhere. Anywhere. What you do is you go to geico.com 15minutes, you could be saving 15% or more on your auto insurance. Put that extra money in your pocket, why not? So geico.com, that's geico.com, spend about 15 minutes and see if you could be saving 15% or more on your auto insurance at Geico. All right, let's see. May 17, Cleveland. May 18, Detroit. I think there's a little change of date there. I'm not sure, but there it is. Just go to amcroll.com if you want to find out where I'm going to be playing and what I'm doing. Judd Apatow, the Zen Diaries of Gary Shanley. Very good two part mini doc series but they're both full length. Hbo. Coming up this Monday and Tuesday, Jeff Cesario, you and check out Play with Pain while Brian on this week available Podcast one and Apple podcasts and then the tour with Brian Regan. You can just go to Jeff. Why don't we go to your website and find out where Jeff's going to be which is Jeff Cesario. Jeff Cesario. There you go. Makes perfect sense. So until next time, Adam Carolla for Jeff Cesario and Gina Grad and ball Brian sank.

[Judd Apatow]

Mahalo. Judd, what you just did was.

[Brian Bishop]

All right.

[Judd Apatow]

This is Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Cool show.

[Judd Apatow]

2283.

[Adam Carolla]

That does it for today's Quill Classics.

[Judd Apatow]

Make sure to tune in tomorrow for.

[Adam Carolla]

An all new installment. Until then, mahalo and get it on Sam.