Male Loneliness Epidemic is Out of Control + Deaf Frat Guy Returns

Summary

Adam Carolla Show: "Male Loneliness Epidemic is Out of Control + Deaf Frat Guy Returns" Release Date: May 5, 2025

---

Introduction

In this episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla delves into the pressing issue of the male loneliness epidemic, highlighting its alarming rise across various countries. Joining him are returning favorites Deaf Frat Guy (DFG) and Jason Mayhem Miller, who add their unique perspectives and humor to the discussions. The episode seamlessly weaves between serious topics and comedic segments, ensuring an engaging listen for both regular fans and newcomers.

Male Loneliness Epidemic: An Alarming Trend

Adam opens the discussion by referencing a study from Emory University, which examined loneliness rates across 29 countries. The findings reveal that Greece and Cyprus top the list as the loneliest nations, with Slovakia and Italy closely following. Notably, the United States ranks within the top five, signaling a widespread concern.

Notable Quotes:

• Jason Mayhem Miller [67:03]: "Slovakia and Italy almost tied for second place in the loneliness list, but America got into the top five of lonely."
• Adam Carolla [68:15]: "Maybe we should stop allowing people to have cats as pets. Cause it satiates like a cat is like what methadone is to a chunky. You know, you're like, ah, it's not so bad."

Adam reflects on his personal experiences, observing that despite financial success, his life mirrors that of many others in seemingly affluent communities. He muses, “I'm definitely the richest person in this theater. But I don't think my life is so different than any of the people in this theater.”

DFG and Jason contribute by discussing societal shifts and the impact of modern lifestyles on feelings of isolation, emphasizing that while technology connects us digitally, it may also contribute to emotional disconnection.

Deaf Frat Guy Returns: Managing "The Problematic"

Deaf Frat Guy makes his return, sharing updates about his current endeavors. He reveals that he is now managing a rock band named "The Problematic" and producing a podcast through the website rockandrolljunkie.com. DFG draws parallels between his management role and notable figures like Pete Hagg, illustrating the potential for personal and professional transformation.

Notable Quotes:

• DFG [07:21]: "They just needed somebody like Mark Garagos. Used to manage a club and now he's a big lawyer. They're hoping I could do the same thing for them."
• Adam Carolla [04:27]: "The band is called The Problematic. And that dude, Johnny Skank, is like Ramon’s Marky Ramon."

JV vs. All Balls: A Humorous Debate

A standout segment of the episode is the recurring "JV vs. All Balls" game, where DFG and Jason categorize topics as JV (bad) or All Balls (good). This playful format sparks lively debates on various subjects, blending humor with insightful commentary.

Highlighted Topics and Quotes:

1. Death by Firing Squad

   • Adam Carolla [10:42]: "Death by firing squad. I like the notion of death by firing squad. I feel like it would save the taxpayers a lot of money."
   • DFG [13:52]: "If they dip the bullet in pig’s blood, it’s all balls."

2. Hoarding

   • Adam Carolla [15:48]: "I ended up spinning out my Porsche, too. What if I crack up the race car when I'm racing it?"
   • Jason Mayhem Miller [15:59]: "I've dated a lot of mentally ill women, and they hoard."

3. Manufacturing Jobs

   • Adam Carolla [41:28]: "I like manufacturing jobs. I like the idea of building stuff."
   • DFG [42:19]: "Assembly lines making blue jeans in America are being done in China for dirt cheap."

The segment not only entertains but also sheds light on societal issues like economic shifts and mental health, all through a comedic lens.

Hoarding: Personal Anecdotes and Disturbing Encounters

Adam shares his struggles with hoarding, distinguishing it from collecting. He narrates experiences from his work in earthquake rehabilitation, detailing unsettling encounters with individuals who hoard household items to extreme degrees.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla [17:41]: “I'm sort of a little bit of a hoarder. I do have a lot of stuff.”
• DFG [21:32]: “I'm like a squirrel on meth, bro, when it comes to this.”

These stories highlight the complexities of hoarding behavior, emphasizing its impact on both individuals and their communities.

Car Chronicles: The Perils of Rear Engine Porsches

A riveting discussion ensues around a viral video of a Porsche GT3 crash. Adam dissects the physics behind rear-engine vehicles, explaining how their design can lead to unpredictable handling during high-speed maneuvers.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla [57:16]: “It starts to drift, then snaps back the other way and then you’re 110 miles an hour backwards.”
• DFG [58:56]: “I like coyote, too. But over here, you’d be laughed at if you said coyotes. It’s coyote.”

Adam empathizes with the driver, sharing his own past experiences with similar vehicles, and underscores the importance of understanding car dynamics to prevent such accidents.

Sexuality and Homophobia: Navigating Sensitive Conversations

The episode touches on the delicate subject of male G spot stimulation and broader discussions on sexuality. Adam and his co-hosts navigate the fine line between personal discomfort and societal homophobia, particularly in the context of entertainment and media.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla [46:23]: "Doesn’t make me homophobic to not want to kiss a man."
• Jason Mayhem Miller [73:17]: "I'm out of. I can't read the bottom of it."

The conversation addresses the complexities of sexual identity, societal expectations, and the stigma that can arise from non-traditional expressions of sexuality.

Heartwarming Heroism: A Dog Saves a Lost Child

Shifting gears, Adam and his guests recount a heartwarming story of Buford, a 160-pound Anatolian-Pyrenees dog, who rescued a two-year-old boy in northwest Arizona after the child wandered seven miles into mountain lion territory. Buford's unwavering dedication exemplifies the profound bond between humans and their canine companions.

Notable Quotes:

• G (Dog Owner) [80:34]: "My dog found him. He loves kids. So I can't believe that kid made it that far."
• Jason Mayhem Miller [81:33]: "Gentlemen, technology has elevated us."

This narrative not only highlights canine heroism but also touches on themes of survival, trust, and compassion.

Reflection on Modern Life: Wealth Without Fulfillment

Towards the end, Adam reflects on the superficial similarities between disparate socioeconomic backgrounds in contemporary society. He muses on how technological advancements have leveled many aspects of life, blurring the lines between the affluent and the average individual.

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla [90:08]: "We're all just sitting in the same theater watching Ben Affleck. So it's kind of struck me that it's not really when I grew up poor, poor meant something."
• DFG [93:40]: "The buzz is the same whether you are drinking fine champagne or Strohs light."

Adam's introspection raises poignant questions about the true essence of fulfillment and the role of material wealth in achieving happiness.

Conclusion

This episode masterfully blends serious societal issues with humor and personal anecdotes, offering listeners both entertainment and food for thought. From the depths of the loneliness epidemic to the lighter moments of managing a rock band, Adam Carolla and his co-hosts deliver a multifaceted discussion that resonates on multiple levels.

---

Note: Advertisements, sponsor mentions, and non-content segments from the transcript have been intentionally excluded to focus on the core discussions and narratives of the episode.

Transcript

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Adam Carolla]

O'Reilly, you need parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts has parts. Need them fast. We've got fast. No matter what you need, we have thousands of professional parts people doing their part to make sure you have it. Product availability just one part that makes O'Reilly stand apart. The professional parts people. Auto parts. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone Paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] in this episode we are joined by the one and only def frat guy. Mayhem's got the news. And we'll do that after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Betonline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for all sports betting action. Baseball season's in full swing. See what I did there? I said swing when I said baseball. And we're into the home stretch, the NBA and NFL. I should say NHL playoffs. NFL's coming up sooner than you think as well. Betonline has more ways to stay in on the action with the latest odds, news and scores, even live in game betting. While the games are going and being played with the largest selection of odds on everything from MLB, NHL and UFC professional golf, BetOnline remains the number one online source for all your sports wagering info. In between games, head on over to Betonline's casino with all the top Vegas style games including poker and live casino. Betonline, the game starts here.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

Stream all the movies and shows you love for free on Pluto tv.

[Adam Carolla]

Say what now? Showtime.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

That means drama is free with heart wrenching stories from love and basketball power and Greenleaf.

[Adam Carolla]

In this family we live by the.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

Spirit and laughter is free. With gut busting comedies like Key and Peele, the neighborhood, Everybody Hates, Chris and Boomerang. Watch all the hits all for free from all your favorite devices.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh my God, I love it.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

Feel the free Pluto TV stream now pay never.

[Dawson]

From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Maverick, the deaf frat guy. Plus we'll do the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now he don't like Mondays. Adam Corolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get no choice to get ready to get it on. You know, now that I work Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, I don't really care about Mondays anymore because it's all just one big work week. DFG is chiming in. I hope we do some JV or all balls. Deaf rack guy.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

All balls, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So also there's a website to plug for DFG as well. I got stuff to get into. The website is rockandrolljunkie.com, is that correct?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah. I got sick of running this camp for the kids in the summer. I realized I didn't really like kids that much.

[Adam Carolla]

But where's Rock and Roll Junkie come from? Yeah.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Well, what I'm doing now is I'm managing a rock band. And this is the website of the podcast that I'm also producing.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right. And the band, what's the band called?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

The band is called the Problematic. And that this dude, Johnny Skank, who is like Ramon's like Marky Ramon or Johnny Thunder, and he's a really cool guy. And he. I said, you know, I was the social chairman of my fraternity and he's like, how can you manage the band?

[Adam Carolla]

So because your experience with Delta Foo, all those. You were six year senior at USC or your communications major, right?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, he saw that on my LinkedIn. He's like, wow, you're a comm major communicating your social chairman of your fraternity. You'd be perfect to manage this band and the website and the podcast. But he said, And I was like, bro, don't worry, I'm not going to overproduce you. Hell yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, Yeah, I do remember, this.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Is not Morning Zoo.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, no, I know. You thought my morning show back in the day was overproduced. I think you. Or was that Poochie's uncle that said that?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

He said he was in danger of being overproduced.

[Adam Carolla]

Dangerously close to being overproduced, but not overproduced. All right?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

No. Hell yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay, so the band. Now let me just write down the name of the band. The Problematics.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, they're like these New York kind of scumbag druggie guys like Johnny Thunders or the Ramones.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. Cause there was the Plasmatics back in the day. Not the Problematics, but the Plasmatics. Wendy O was the head. We were so starved of pornography back in the day that Wendy O with her B cup and some electrician's tape over her nipples was enough.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sent the men aflame.

[Adam Carolla]

That was enough. She blew up a Cadillac. No, she blew up a Lincoln. El Dorado. I should say. It's a Cadillac. El Dorado. She blew up a Lincoln with suicide doors. When I went to see them in like 1982 at Perkins palace in Pasadena, which, by the way, was run and managed by young Mark Garagos, the attorney back then. Crazy, right? But Wendy's gone. Wendy took her own life several years ago, sadly. But the Plasmatics have been replaced by the Problematics now. Right.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Well, they've been a legendary band for many years, and they just needed somebody like Mark Garagos. Used to manage a club and now he's a big lawyer. They're hoping I could do the same thing for them. You know, sometimes like. Like Pete Hagg said he was a weekend Fox News host, but now he's the Secretary of Defense. You can change. We all can change. And you have to adapt.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you know, you're right. You can change. You know, Bruce Jenner was Olympic champion. Yeah. Now.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And I mean, and now he's hitting from the woman.

[Adam Carolla]

He's hit in front of the women's tease. Yeah.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

So, yeah, the thing about Bruce Jenner, a lot of people think he's a decathlon. Decathlon. But he was a very good football player. She was a very good football player. And she, she was a middle linebacker. And the word on the three, Caitlyn Jenner hit like. She hit like a freight train.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Yeah. But now they removed her decathlon.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know that her dick at Thelon has been.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, okay. Her decathlon is intact along.

[Adam Carolla]

And listen, you tell me. And I don't know if you've ever funneled so many beers that you got with a he, she, or this. You know, I know Poochie's had his share of run ins and Mike F and guys of fugly and douchebagle and other guys from the fraternity got into trouble. But is there. Do we. Do we know that? Okay, why can't we not ask the question, does the person have their junk anymore? Like if someone goes, this, he is now a she. And the she wants to use the ladies locker room at the Y. I go, okay, well, does that he who's now a she have his cock and balls? And everyone goes, you can't ask that. I go, well, they want to use the locker room. Don't you think we should be able to ask dfg, Bro, I don't even.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Like when a lady has too big of a clit.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me write that down. Yeah, well, I don't think China the Wrestler would have been somebody you've been interested in being with. Dfg, Are we gonna do some JV or All Balls, bro?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

You know I always come packing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you always bring it. I don't know. Do we have an intro to that, Doc? So now it's time for JV or All Balls. All right, so, Mayhem, You've never played JB or All Ball. Well, he's gonna bring up a subject or word or person, and then you say, is it JV as in bad, or is it all Balls as in good? But we got to figure out.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So you want me to toss that? Is it JV or is it All Balls?

[Adam Carolla]

You have to figure it out. What's the first subject?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

JV is bad. All bots is good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I said.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I figured that.

[Adam Carolla]

I know you can't hear me, right?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

All right, the first one is death by firing squad.

[Adam Carolla]

Death by firing squad. I like the notion of death by firing squad. I feel like it would save the taxpayers a lot of money. We get in this thing all the time. Lethal injection. And then there's doctors. It's hard to find doctors to do the lethal injection because you need a board certified guy or somebody who's certified, by the way. I don't know why. What's the worst could happen if a person gets an infection? You know what I mean? Like, what's the worst? Alcohol swab.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What's the worst?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's hard to find those guys because they take a Hippocratic oath, whereas the firing squad guys. There's a line going down the block.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I get to legally shoot a black dude. This is gonna be awesome. So I like it. It only cost the taxpayers a bullet or so. If I were, you know, somebody said, what do you wanna do? I wouldn't go with hang. I would go with firing squad.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

If I'm going out, I'm facing the barrel. Like, yeah, I'm fine with that. Instead of sitting around waiting for the meds to kick in.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm going all balls on this one. Where are you at, Mayhem. All balls. All right, Dawson, I think it's JV.

[Dawson]

Because they only give one guy a bullet.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they don't give one guy.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So one guy has a blank.

[Adam Carolla]

One guy's a blank.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's right.

[Dawson]

Oh, really?

[Adam Carolla]

You never thought.

[Dawson]

I always thought it was only one guy. Has live round. They pick one guy. Well, either way, I'm staying with jv because if it was all balls. They'd give everybody bullets and blow the guy up.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, nine guys with bullets is enough is what I'm. Is what I'm saying. You made it to this age without no idea? Well, because it was one guy, he'd shoot him like Trump got hit in the ear or something. And then the guy would be complaining the whole time.

[Dawson]

Well, it's not like, do they. The guy's got to be chained and held still. So it's probably pretty easy to get a headshot, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I mean, should be.

[Dawson]

For one guy, that should be pretty simple to get a headshot. I thought it was the. I really thought it was the.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, first off, tell that to Weezer's wife because they just fired off 10 rounds and barely got her shoulder. So. Yeah, it used to be the guy. They used to offer the guy a cigarette. They'd outlaw that in California now for sure.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Cancer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And then they used to put him by hay bale and put a blindfold on him. Now they do it in a weird room and the guy reaches through some sort of sock or something. All right, anyway, we say all balls. Dawson says, jv, let's say you dfg.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

What they are planning to do is take that bullet and they will dip it in pig's blood. So if the terrorists will go back with that, and they'll say the guy got shot with a pig blood infested bullet, so it's extra, you know, motivation to not. To not be bad, to not do anything bad. So all balls. All balls. Eye for eye.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So you say we take. If it's a terrorist, we dip it in pig's blood.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

That's just what they are discussing now. And it admitted that they would dip the bullet in pig's blood as sort of an extra.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. Mm. And then someone's got to kill the pig too, you know, I don't know. The pig didn't do anything. You know, he didn't blow up a church or anything, but he's getting dragged into this. All right, all right. One for one. Me and mayhem. Zero for one. Dawson, go ahead.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

All right. Are we on foot? Number two. Number two, Hoarding.

[Adam Carolla]

Hoarding. I gotta tell you, you know, there's a fine line between hoarding and collecting. Yes, I run into this a lot. So what happens? And I don't know what you guys would, would, would do with this, but when I buy a race car, the race car oftentimes comes with lots of extra parts. Fiberglass hoods and fenders and stuff made for that car. Could not. You can't find them anywhere else. They're literally made, and they come with molds to make this stuff. So then I end up with a bunch of hoods and fenders and molds, but I really don't need them. But there's a Paul Newman car from 1979, and the molds come for the fenders. What do I do with the molds? And maybe this is working out from a timing standpoint because I was looking at a clip of a guy destroying a Porsche online because the rear end gets a little heavy on those cars. I'll circle back to that. But I ended up spinning out my Porsche, too. What if I crack up the race car when I'm racing it? Then where are we going to get the fenders?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Never want to toss it. I get it.

[Adam Carolla]

But now I have garage filled with molds for fenders. I don't know. It's. You're asking the wrong guy. It's a little sensitive.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I've dated a lot of mentally ill women, and they hoard. They hoard, they hoard. One of the most interesting ones was a woman who just bought tea set after tea set.

[Adam Carolla]

You dated a tea setter after tea set?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And she just had closet after closet filled with tea set. One time she broke my Xbox and I did a little bit of tea set math and went over there and smashed $350 worth of tea sets.

[Adam Carolla]

I broke my. Broke my ex's box, too, once. But it was a different, different story.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I put it in her tea set.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me. Let me say this as well also. I know I sound like I'm making excuses, but I come from a family and a place where an aluminum cigar tube had value. It had value. It had real value because it was something. And it had a screw top on it. And I could play with it in the bathtub. Like, I hold it down and have it pop up like a missile and stuff. A cigar box and a cigar. Anything around a cigar had some value to it. And we. We do stuff with stuff. And so now when there's some bottle of whiskey will come in, a beautiful, you know, someone will buy me as a gift. Oh, it's a bottle of whiskey. It's $300, you know, and I'll come in a beautiful mahogany box, and then I'll go, what are we doing with the box? And we throw it away like it's beautiful. So I could keep my matchbox cars in there or something. I could keep my porno clippings or something in there. Like, I. It's hard for me to throw away stuff because it looks like something. It is something.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm with you, bud.

[Adam Carolla]

It was. It would have been. I about freaked out several months ago. Behind this warehouse, it's a side street and they use it just to dump garbage. Because LA county doesn't pick up your garbage, doesn't do the large item pickup. You got an old sofa or stucco busted up or whatever. Just chuck it, chuck it there. I walked past there the other day, I saw an electric, like kids super bike was, you know, it's a dumb little electric battery powered, like super bike. Looked like a Kawasaki Ninja, but it was definitely for a kid. And obviously it didn't work. Someone just chucked it there. And I was looking at it, I was going. I go, that would have been the nicest thing I owned as a kid. That would have been the coolest thing I owned. And someone just. Someone just chucked it out of the back of their pickup truck. I don't like it. China crap. China's cranking out too much shit. The landfills are getting filled up. I don't like it. And I do always remember a great story. My mom had. My mom's friends. My mom was not a great contributor to society, but her friends were pretty lackluster too. And I think her whole thing is she wanted to surround herself with Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos. She wanted some low and slow, you know, she wanted some people on island time around her because they. Because you get people around you doing too much and they start asking questions like, what are you doing? You know. So she liked that. Yeah, she had a friend named Marlene once. And I said, well, you know, she. This is 10 years ago. I said, what's Marlene up to, this adult woman? Well, she's still doing her babysitting. She's doing some babysitting. I go, okay. She doing okay? Cause in my world, when you're 59 and you're working as a babysitter, maybe, you know, it's not so great. I said to my mom, I go, is Marlene doing good? Oh, yeah, she's doing great. She was just featured in Hoarders. That was an actual. No, that was my mom's example of someone who's really out there crushing it.

[Dawson]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Just featured. I thought they were gonna say in Forbes, you know, but. But no, Hoarders.

[Dawson]

Yeah, it's just on tv. Cops.

[Adam Carolla]

Cops.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, she's doing great. She's with her sister and thousand pound sisters.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. They have a boil that needs to be popped. All right, so I'm very mixed about hoarders.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Straight up, jv Teapots. Fuck out of here.

[Adam Carolla]

It gets to a certain point where it gets bad.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

But like I said, I'm sort of. I'm a little bit of a hoarder. I do have a lot of stuff. I'm gonna go. I'm going all balls on this one, Dawson.

[Dawson]

I think DFG might be a little bit of a hoarder himself, but I'm gonna say jv, because if someone was hoarding, say, for instance, all of the funnels, all the beer funnels.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you funnel and beer.

[Dawson]

And DFG wanted to funnel a beer, he wouldn't be able to because of a hoarder. So I'm going to say, jb, what.

[Adam Carolla]

If Rat Guy's greatest piece of merchandise was the mini keychain funnel for, like, funneling in traffic and stuff? Sometimes you can't get your full size funnel, but you want some beer, right? Stuck in traffic or what have you waiting in line at Disneyland, you know what I mean? But he brought the keychain funnel.

[Dawson]

I actually have one of his full size funnels.

[Adam Carolla]

You have a full funnel?

[Dawson]

I use it to refill my cleaning solvent sprayer.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. But what if you're stuck in traffic?

[Dawson]

You want to funnel a beer, get the keychain one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay. Dfg.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Well, I will say Doug will be back once we get this tariff situation squared away.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you're going to bring back the mini keychain funnels?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, but right now, the business cannot. We can't handle these high tariffs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's right. I get it. Yeah. The small margins on the funnels, right?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah. These tariffs are killing me, bro.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I get it. I get it.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

They're cutting out the bottom. But okay, I get all your points and some of you. But hoarding. Look, I'll be on the COVID of that magazine, and I am a neat dude. I iron my jeans, all that. But when it comes to hoarding, one thing I. I'm like a squirrel on meth, bro, when it comes to this, bro.

[Adam Carolla]

Zinn, you're hoarding.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

I'm like this all over my house. Like, because I hold it in case there's a apocalypse.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, the hoarding.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Always know that. That I got some.

[Adam Carolla]

Zinn is in. Is that. Is it a resurrection, a rebirth, a 2.0 of snuff?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that what we're at?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's a tough bracket, bud, to get off of. That.

[Dawson]

That actually used to be. Yeah, the snuff pouches, like that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yep.

[Dawson]

There were actual pouches, so you didn't have to get the dirty stuff in your lip.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, I'm talking about snuff.

[Dawson]

This, the smell. Snuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm saying from 300 years ago.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes. It's like putting a lift right there.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

That's the stuff that you snort.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, they would.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. I'm saying, is it a rebirth of snuff?

[Dawson]

I don't think so. I think it's like a. It's like the pouch. It's like a. It's like the pouch type chewing tobacco because it's nicotine flavored nicotine that comes in a pouch.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you know what you put in your stuff?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Snuff is just chopped up, not just powder.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Tobacco.

[Dawson]

Tobacco.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm not saying. No, okay, okay. I'm not saying it's exactly the same thing. I'm just saying people did snuff, you know, eight, you know, 1772 or something. And we're kind of back. It's kind of back now is what I'm saying. People smoked a lot. I mean, they always dipped, but I mean, it's kind of polite. Society is doing Zinn now. It's doing. Is doing the nicotine.

[Dawson]

Okay, it's back.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm saying it's like. It is. Zin is nicotine, basically.

[Dawson]

So you're not suggesting that people are snorting Zinn?

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, no. All right, we're moving on. We're moving on.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

All right. So all bald if it's, you know, but, you know, not if you're hoarding newspapers from 19. You know, when Elvis died or some shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I mean, the ultimate horde, the scariest ultimate horde is when I. Is when I showed up into a house. Sorry, a unit when I was doing earthquake rehab work and I had to go in it. Let me tell you something. You don't want a job where you have to go into low income subsidized units. Those things smell like the person that lives there and never leaves.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And these are all singles. Murphy. Bed, one room. Bathroom. Kitchen. No bedroom. So when you open the door, you were in their bedroom.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And it smelled crazy. Has its own smell.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And that's what it smelled like. And this one guy cut out every panel on every milk carton of every missing kid he ever got. He brought a half gallon of milk probably twice a week, every week. And it'd been 26 years. And he had every single panel cut out and all stacked up to the ceiling. Row after row after row of weird milk and missing kids. And he had every kid. Now you couldn't find the kid because it would be four feet deep and seven aisles over. But he could not see fit to throw away the milk carton with the missing kid on it in case he ever came around and found that kid or saw that kid. But that kid would be in his 40s now. Cuz this shit went back 25 years. That was the weirdest, creepiest standing in that person's unit feeling I ever had.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He was hoarding missing children.

[Adam Carolla]

He's hoarding missing kids. Yeah. All right, sorry, go ahead.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

It would be even worse if those pictures of the kids had the eyes cut out.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, you're right. If the eyes were cut out. I remember just going in that guy's unit. These guys be walking around in their underpants. They all cooked with lard too. So it's like you'd walk in there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And be like, the air is thick.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, man, thick air. One guy shit in a bucket. All he did was shit in a five gallon bucket that was in there. Another guy pulled a shotgun on me. It was not good times, man. Those units smelled. And then people would freak out because I'd go into their unit with the plans and I'd go, I gotta take out the whole bathroom. I gotta put a sheer wall here. And they'd go, that's the only bathroom I got.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I go, yeah, here's a bucket.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's a bucket. It was bad after go in there, take out all the kitchen cabinets. Cockroaches running every Koreatown, man.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

You don't. You won't believe how some people live until you have been a contractor.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Or a plumber. Electric.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Oh, no, yeah. Now, I mean, shaky Jake pulled a shotgun out, man. He was just like, no more.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

No more coming in here.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You just came through and earth double up. Butt in your face.

[Adam Carolla]

Earthquake. Yeah, earthquake rehab work means you go into people's apartment and you go, oh, you got this window out here that faces the street. They go, yeah. And I go, plant state. We got to put cinder block all the way in this window. So it's gone. Wow. And they go. Some of them go, okay. And some go, fuck that. And you go, we're earthquake rehab in the building and that's that. And they don't pay rent because they're subsidized. So they. Obviously, if you're living in Glendale and you're paying 3200 bucks a month, and some asshole comes walking in, going on a block up the window. Then you go, fuck it, I'm not paying my rent. Yeah, but they don't have a bargaining chip. But they're crazy and they're old and they're pissed.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Wait, Ace was shaky, Jake. Are you talking about the Alpha Tau Omega?

[Adam Carolla]

No, different dude. Different dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a different. This guy's an elderly black man who pulled a shotgun on somebody. And then I got the call to go deal with him. That was my. They somehow Shakey liked me.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, he was a Q dog, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, different front. He liked. He liked me. So I was told to go in there and talk him off the ledge with the shotgun. Well, we sat on his Murphy bed while he had a shotgun. Oh, yeah, and his underpants. It was good. I was on the fly.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

You came to a grudging respect.

[Adam Carolla]

I think you would call it that. He was probably fucked up, you know, and then at a certain point, when he finally agreed to put the shotgun away, he goes, I don't know how to get the hammers back without the thing going off. So I just held my ears. I said, all right, I'll just sit here, just point it the other direction, and we'll see if we can get.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Those hammers back out your window before we board it up.

[Adam Carolla]

They were good times. Yeah. All right, what's the next one? Dfg.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

The next one. Number three, shedding in a five gallon bucket.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you weren't gonna say that.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

That's what they call back, bro. No, the next one is. Okay, Riding bitch.

[Adam Carolla]

Riding shotgun. Now does it count? Who's driving the car, a man or a woman?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

No, it's a motorcycle.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, bitch. Oh, riding bitch. Oh, on the back of a motorcycle. Oh, there's flipping a bitch. Which is a U turn in a car. Okay. Okay, you're riding on the back of a motorcycle. Is the. Is there a dude riding the motorcycle? I'm guessing, right?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

It could be a lady.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay, well, listen, if it's a.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Lady, you're in back.

[Adam Carolla]

You're in the back. I would say it's jv, but if you're trying to light a cigarette, then it's all balls because then you reclaim your masculinity. If you're trying to use the guy's a windscreen to get a cigarette lit, but if you got both hands around his waist, then we're back to. We're back to jv. So, you know, in general, I mean, I had a lot of Friends who rode motorcycles, and I had a motorcycle, and we do a lot of doubling down. My buddy Ray is the only guy I know who. I would pick him up on my motorcycle during winter, and he would come down from his mom's apartment barefoot, and I'd go, you're gonna ride on the back of the motorcycle barefoot? And he'd go, yeah. Why? I don't know. I feel like I want to put shoes on. I don't care. Fucking ride barefoot on the back of my motorcycle. And he did fall off the back of a motorcycle because he was trying to light a cigarette. Another guy, like, popped a wheelie, and he just went sailing off the back, which we thought was funny. I've done a lot of riding on the back of motorcycles, so I don't. And I've had a lot of my dude friends ride on the back of my motorcycle. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, BetterHelp. Dr. Drew and I always talk about it. You want to get your mental health straightened out, especially today. There's so much going on. You get your head straight, the body follows. It's a much better life. Mental health awareness is growing, but there's still a lot of progress to be made. 26% of Americans who participated in a recent survey say they have avoided seeking mental health support due to fear of judgment. When people hesitate to get help, it doesn't just affect them. It impacts their families, workplace, entire community. You know, I've always been a big advocate for therapy, and, you know, it's traditionally in the past been kind of a hassle. It ain't cheap. You gotta drive, sit in a waiting room, lock eyeballs with other folks waiting there. That's gone now with BetterHelp, this mental health awareness month, let's encourage everyone to take care of their wellbeing and break the stigma. The world's better when people are healthy and happy, and that's why there's better help. Right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Life isn't about resolutions that fade by February. It's about picking up the pen and becoming the author of your own life. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online, convenient and flexible. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

[Adam Carolla]

Homes.com Some might say that homes.com is the best home shopping site. Yeah, some would say that. I might say it myself. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and Transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's at. Homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched. To highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com. we've done your homework. So I'm. I'm. I'm going to go all balls. Mayhem.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm going all balls. I mean, this is a rear naked choke position. This is the place that I want to be.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to be there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I feel the safest on a man's back.

[Dawson]

I like the idea of the bar.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And.

[Dawson]

And for me, it. Riding bitch with a bar is all balls. You don't have to put the.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Are you talking about that thing that you go back? It's like a bat behind you and you have a nice arch in your back and you can see your thong.

[Dawson]

Oh, no, it's a back support for your guest.

[Adam Carolla]

We're talking traditional chopper school. Not the ape hanger in the front. The bar in the back, which was a cool. They put them on bicycles back in the day, too. I think I had a bar. It was.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, I'm trying to imagine. I think I got it wrong. It's just like a little handle.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no, no. Dawson gave a weird description of the sissy bar. There are two handles back there. But the sissy bar is the chopper chrome hoop that goes up the back.

[Dawson]

It's like a backrest for the basket.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's.

[Dawson]

Hold on to that behind your back.

[Adam Carolla]

You were describing, like the hand. There are handles on what I was looking at.

[Dawson]

Yeah, you can hold on to that box bar at the bottom of this.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no. There are handles, though, that. That gets. That's why Mayhem swim. This is you. And that was a weak ass one. Like, we need the Easy Rider type chopper. Big hoop sissy bar that we called it. All right, so I went all. I want all balls because I've done so much of it. And I'm going all balls. All balls. We got all balls. Wow.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Okay, the first look, okay, there are a lot of red flag there. It's called a city bar. Number one. Number two, you are hugging some dude. You know, from behind. It's like, you know, lean with me. Like we have to become, you know, like, grab onto my hips. We are going to become one as we Go into this turn.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

And then you're at a stoplight and people are pointing at you and laughing. But here's the thing. Look, if you live your life worried about everyone thinking you're a homo, you're not going to have any fun. Just relax and enjoy the ride. You're on the back of a motorcycle, bro. Just let it go. Let. God. It's not like you're getting drilled into can in prison, right?

[Adam Carolla]

No. It's different. Right?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah. And the reason why this is all bald is because you are behind.

[Adam Carolla]

Rear naked. All right. Am I leading this competition?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think you are, bud. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you keeping track, Dawson? I'm losing my. I'm losing my sense of direction here.

[Dawson]

Bayhem has two. I have one.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Let's keep it going into the championship rounds. By the way, I'm looking at a screen that says hoarders pooping into a bucket video. Stand by. I don't. I don't need that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Stand by. Just put that in my email, guys. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, the greatest. I mean, let's just talk about the difference between men and women, please. I've told it so I'll be fast. But the crew went into this guy's unit, got his shit bucket, which was a liquid, basically, and took his shit bucket and put it right next to my table saw that I worked on in the back of the building, right up against the back of this five story brick building. There's a little dog run in the back that little. Those old buildings had a clothesline in the back and like 10ft of cement. And that was it. In the back of the building, they set up the shit bucket. They put it right next to where I was working. They hid it behind plywood. They took scraps of plywood and put it around it so I couldn't see it. And then I'd fire up the table saw and I'd be milling my baseboard back there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And he's just reading the paper, watching you.

[Adam Carolla]

No. The crew got up to the top of the building, leaned over the edge where the parapet was straight down to the shit bucket and dropped the bolts that we were using to put on shear anchors on the. For the parapet braces. They dropped bolts into the shit bucket. And every time a bolt hit the shit bucket, it would smell like 50 Samoans farted at once. And I was. Then they would watch me work the table saw and then like stop and look around and go, what the fuck is going on around here? I was right up against the back of the thing I would have had to look straight up five and they. Five stories and they all hid behind the parapet. I couldn't see them and I couldn't find the shit bucket. I never knew it until, of course, they explained it to me during lunch.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Why I was going to shoot the joy and morale you brought up to the fifth floor with your just bubbling around.

[Adam Carolla]

I was probably getting shit splattered on me. People would sue. Can you imagine how much suing would go on today?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's not OSHA regulated. No, you could still do that.

[Adam Carolla]

No. Yeah.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

So with if. Why would you hide them behind the parakeet?

[Adam Carolla]

No. Parapet. The parapet now the parapet is on the roof. You know, it's what the Korean side.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Behind like pop a cracker.

[Adam Carolla]

No, parapet is like a miniature little wall. Like a three foot, little high wall on the roof.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, anyway, let's. Let's just get to the next one, so.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, okay, the next one. Manufacturing jobs.

[Adam Carolla]

Manufacturing jobs. We want to bring back manufacturing jobs. And then everyone says, you don't want to do manufacturing jobs or who's going to do these jobs? Who's going to pick your lettuce? Who's going to clean your toilets? I do love when they work that angle. I like manufacturing jobs. I like the idea of building stuff. I'm all for it. These guys get paid a pretty damn good wage and I like it. I don't need to build everything in America, but yeah, I like the notion of building stuff in America and manufacturing jobs. So I'm gonna go with all balls on that one. What do you got?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I really like that there's a possibility that Americans get caught in industrial accidents, like grabbed into a thresher type situation. And how, I don't know. I think that anytime that I can get some good YouTube clips, people getting mangled, I'm all for it.

[Adam Carolla]

All balls. Say all balls. Dawson.

[Dawson]

I'm thinking about the way he said it. The way he said manufacturing jobs. It sounded like manufacturing was the verb.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes, I agree with that.

[Dawson]

Not the descriptor of the job. So I'm going to say jv, I think there's something fishy here.

[Adam Carolla]

You mean manufacturing jobs like some doge project where there's someone's wasting money creating.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

No, there are. No, this is not a trick.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. All right, jv. All right, we go all balls.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Jv. I don't think we're going to have assembly lines making blue tint in America anymore. Blue jeans, they do it in China for dirt cheap. And when I was making These mini funnel keychains and the potato key. It was a pain in the ass. I'm a college, I have a college degree. And I was getting carpal tunnel symptoms.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

And I would freak out. I'd be like, dude, you have to build another keychain. And I'd feel like I was gonna have a stroke. But I can't sit for that long and do something like you wanna get. It's not in our blood anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. We don't have it in us anymore. No, I mean, look, you may be right. I mean it's, it's so funny. But when you, you know, when I talk to my kids about jobs, first off, I never knew there was a choice. I just thought you had to have a job. Now they're picking and choosing that. I'm not going to do that. Why would I do that? I don't know. You get paid. I don't know. You have a choice. I didn't know there's a choice. I thought you just stood behind a contractor shawl with a five gallon bucket of shit next to you while somebody dropped bolts off the roof. That's what I thought work. That's what I thought work was. I didn't know I had an option. I probably, if I knew it, I would have said, fuck this shit, I'm not doing this. It sucks. But, but the other thing is, and I don't know where you are philosophically here, dfg, but you know, I got a lot out of doing tough jobs that I didn't really like to do. I got a nice, it put things in perspective to me. You know, it's sort of like a near death experience. You know, people go, woke up the next day really appreciated stuff that I didn't appreciate before, you know what I mean? And working horrible jobs is a near death experience for work. So then when people go, oh, you're adding a third show on Saturday night. I go, what I care? I'm standing there drinking a beer, making jokes. It's not work. It's not a shit bucket contractor saw. See what I'm saying? There's no baseline for kids anymore. They don't know what. You gotta have a miserable job. The miserable job is your baseline and it's a threat. Like you wanna go back to that? And it's a motivational factor because I was like shaky Jake in the shit bucket. I was like, I wanna get out of here. I wanna sit in the office with funny dudes and make jokes. I'm sure you watched a man show Back in the day. Dfg.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, the Juggie Girls on trampolines.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I wanted to do. No shit buckets, no contractor saw, no shaky jakes. Nothing. Just sat in a room, ordered sushi.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, yeah, More shaky. No, less shaky Jake. More shaky jugs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that's what I'm saying. All right, I don't know. We all tied up here. What do we got?

[Dawson]

You got three. Me and Mayhem have two.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, plan on flying. It's time to upgrade to a real ID because in order to board domestic flights, your driver's license or state issued ID must be a real ID or you'll need another acceptable form of identification. So don't wait. Find out how to get your Real [e-mail] RealID that's tsa.gov RealID or visit your local DNA and then you'll be cleared for takeoff.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

All right, it's going to come down to this one, okay. And fellas, this one is pretty rough. Okay? Male G spot stimulation.

[Adam Carolla]

Male G spot stimulation. Who would you rather be? Would you rather be Jacuzzi, the guy who invented the Jacuzzi, whose name's after the Jacuzzi, or Grafenberg? The G spot guy. That's pretty good. The G spot. I mean, it's weird. I think the guy's name was Grafenberg who discovered the G spot.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Not that hard.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, but he. He discovered the female G spot. I think the dude that discovered the male G spot was named Lance and he was from Hershey, Pennsylvania.

[Adam Carolla]

We next to the Hershey highway there. So you're saying. Okay, yeah. All right, so the male. Where's the male G spot?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, do I got to tell him?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Don't ask. Don't ask me, bro.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, man, I think it's.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's like the process, the prostate.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So a little bit of up and around the corner.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. All right, so we're trying to figure out whether Grafenberg was a gynecologist who discovered the G spot. 1950.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Damn, that's kind of late in history.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd like to interview his ex wife. Yeah, she'd be like, oh, guy didn't discover shit. Okay.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Hit like. He's like, hey, you mind if we play a little stink finger again? I think I lost. I think my car keys may be up there.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what Grafenberg would say. I don't know. I don't feel like that's good decorum for a gynecologist. Play with your stink finger again. I don't know. It does remind me of a great song, though. I know, I know you're a fan of Josh, who does these great, great songs you can find. When Mr. Stinkfinger came to Town. That is one of my favorite all time classic songs. And I don't know if Problematic covers any Mr. Stinkfinger or any of the hits. You can tell.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Time will tell.

[Adam Carolla]

Time will tell. All right, so so far, not in the repertoire. All right, so the male G spot, is it JV or is it all balls?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Well, it's just the stimulation of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, all right, I'm going to go. Jv. I like. I appreciate the offer. Do you know what I mean? Look, to me, it's really. You know what it is? It's like once in a while, you're loading up some groceries in the back of the van and some guy comes by and he's pushing a cart and he goes, you want some help with that? And I go, no, But I go, but I really like where your head's at. Like, I appreciate the offer. I got it. But I appreciate what you're saying, and I appreciate the attempt, you know, or the offer for. I don't really need it. But I like. I like where her head's at is what I'm saying.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You go on a date with the woman, and her middle finger is nice and trim.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's what I like. All right, it could be controversial, But I'm going J.V.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'M. You know, this is a trick. This is a, you know, I'm going all balls. Just a gentle stimulation, please.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Dawson]

I gotta go all balls. It's the only way to stay in the game.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. All right.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

This question is for mayhem. Have you ever, like, have you ever had your ears boxed?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, I have.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

It hurt, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes, it does. Well, it used to.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

It sucks. But to any lady out there, if your finger gets anywhere near my Hersey highway, you're getting your ear sparks, baby.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that's JV.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Hell yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

We have. We have Mr. Stinkfinger. Just remind me of the classic, the classic song, Mr. Sting Finger.

[F]

Wipe that smile away, my little lady. Turn that silly grin upside down. We'll all amend the day, my little lady. When Mr. Stained Finger came down.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

I.

[F]

Knew that he kind of looked a little shaded. Both his middle fingers were stained brown, but the women all were squealing like Nepha Dick. When Mr. St. Finger came to town, you fingered all our ladies, you ran the son of a whore. More than a finger awaits your back door. I'll wait, I'll wait for All I care Bury his finger in monkeys in Hayden as long as he never comes back around Would smile when you recall my little lady when Mr. Sting Finger came to town when Mr. Sting Finger.

[Adam Carolla]

Came to Town big ending.

[F]

When Mr. Sting Finger came to town.

[Adam Carolla]

Never heard that on the radio, you.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Know, I mean, folk music has taken a turn, you know. Listen, I really appreciate it.

[Adam Carolla]

When you entered the octagon. That should have been your song.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Listen, I'm. That puts thinking of doing a comeback heart of your. For that reason.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Dfg.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Pooch's uncle always said that that song was under produced.

[Adam Carolla]

Under produced. Now, does Poochie's uncle still have the testicular torsion problem? He would sit on his balls.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, what?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Nightmare.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

He had these inserts put in, but. And things were going very well for him until his body rejected the transplant.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you mean like nudicles or something?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

There was this like little rubber miniature squash balls.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. So he killed his actual balls and. And they replaced them with a prosthetic ball. Right, right.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Which his body rejected.

[Adam Carolla]

His body rejected the. The balls.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Did they spit him out simultaneously or was it.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't make a joke out of this, man. Sorry.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

No, they just took them. They took them out and said, okay, this is not going to work. And they gave him. They gave him Poochie's uncle. I'm sorry for like, spilling the beans. They gave him pigs testicles.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no, I didn't know that.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, they're curly.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. But his body didn't reject the pig's testicles.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

No. And he also has given up all pork products. Bacon.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Salami.

[Adam Carolla]

He just doesn't have a taste for it anymore. Or it was more of a, you know, political thing.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, it just lost his appetite for it for no reason.

[Adam Carolla]

He lost his appetite for. And he used to love pork sausage and that stuff, right?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah. Eventually he put two and two together.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah, no, I didn't think about that. But that'sthat's weird. Rightyou get pig testicles because your body rejects the nudicles that they put in there, like silicone. He's probably allergic to silicone, you know, so the body rejects it, then they give you pig testicles, then all of a sudden you've lost your taste for pork chops.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Mysteries.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't even know because the guy's in his 60s, he's like, I love me some pork chops. And all of a sudden, Yep, totally halal. Wow, he's halal. That's crazy.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

A win Win. Well, it's a triple win win. Because this hog was pretty well endowed in the ball bag department.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, so he got a good one.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He got an upgrade. I see.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

It's good between the size of. Not as big as the Lacroix ball. Bigger than his wash ball.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Wow. All right, well, tell Poochie's uncle I'm rooting for him, you know.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah. He's doing well.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay. I wanted to share this thing because I felt some kinship with it, which is somebody sent me a video. I don't know why we love it, but somebody bought a Porsche GT3, which is a high end big time Porsche. And they just went out a couple hours after they got it home from the dealer. It just went for a little hot run joyride. Threw a couple of revs at it and took off and lost control. But the thing you have to look at with the rear end car is the rear starts to swing out one direction and it snaps back the other direction. And there's really nothing you can do. But I'll show you the. The vid throwing revs, turns to the left, starts to drift. Snaps that way. Then it snaps back the other way. And now. Oh shit. Right into the tree cars. I don't know if it's totaled. It's not in good shape. No, it hit a tree pretty hard. I don't know who the guys. The guys are always. It's always a Florida plate. It's always funny when the. There was a guy has to stand there and go, oh shit.

[Dawson]

Oh, shit.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Me too.

[Adam Carolla]

I hate those guys. We get what's going on. So the thing.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

It looks like the only. But it looked like the only thing that got hurt was his pride.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And the front end of a $450,000 Porsche. But then, you know, I started thinking, this guy's a SAP. Cause that's embarrassing. Especially to do it in front of.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Look like just take up off the accelerator bud. I think you could have got out of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, three hours after I hearkened back to my own days of driving a rear ended rear engine Porsche. And well, you got to turn it up because it sounds good, but there's no coming back. You can see me do it. This is me and Laguna Seca. And the rear end starts to come around.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh.

[Dawson]

Oh, snap. The bull.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, man, you're right. Yeah. Even like you kept in a straight line.

[Adam Carolla]

This guy.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Snapped back the other way.

[Adam Carolla]

It sucks to do it in front of the crowd, though. There's a bunch of people to Bleachers. Also, pulling back on the track and not getting killed is kind of a. Kind of a thing, too.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But I realized that the feeling of the rear end, when that thing starts to slide, it starts to go. And then it just goes snap. And just goes the other way. And then you're 110 miles an hour backwards. And I'm lucky I didn't hit any concrete or any oak trees like this guy did. But I sympathize with what he was going through because I know that feeling. It starts to drift, and you go, okay, all right. Then it just goes snap. And it just goes back the other way and then whips the other. He couldn't. Then goes right into an oak tree. Yeah.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Wait, Ace, why does it snap back?

[Adam Carolla]

There's something to the dynamic and the physics of the rear engine that when you have a front engine car and it starts to understeer or oversteer, starts to drift, it just starts drifting. But there's not all the weight in the back.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's a pendulum.

[Adam Carolla]

It swings all the way around. It just snaps back, and it's hard to control. You have to be really good to control it. I'm not. I don't know how these guys. Well, what they do is they don't get themselves in that situation in the first place is how they control. They go around the corner, they point the car straight, and then they get back on it. I was rock and rollin'man, I was going, oh, I'm getting on it before I'm straight. I'm still gonna be in this corner, and I'm gonna hang out a little.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Bit because the wind car a little bit, of course, shifts left to right, you know, and then back the other way. So if one tire is a little light, it starts picking up and swinging.

[Adam Carolla]

So I feel bad for this. For this guy. Drove his foot into a tree. Yeah. Probably gonna be hard to get insurance and blah, blah, blah. And that was a really nice Porsche that guy was driving, too. But I. I don't think a GT3 is a turbo car. Could be naturally aspirated. But anyway, we got some news to do.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We do. We got some news.

[Adam Carolla]

Dfg, you want to hang out, do some news with us? Yeah. All right. We'll take a quick break, and we'll be right back with the news right after this. O'Reilly Auto Parts, you know the jingle woo? Yeah. They're in the business of keeping your car on the road. O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service and the parts knowledge you need to keep that car maintained and to keep those repairs going. Cars aren't cheap anymore. You got to really get your use out of them. Always. Big fan, O'Reilly. Like the way the place smells in there? Yeah, I like the way, you know, some people like a library smell. I like an auto parts smell. So whether you're an aficionado of cars or a novice, you're gonna find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, they are friendly. So stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.Select' well, there's so many things in life we just never get around to taking up that hobby, cleaning out the garage, you know, the little things, they make a pretty big difference in our lives. Well, there's one thing that most of us have probably been neglecting and can have a huge impact on your family's future. It's life insurance. And with select quote getting covered, well, that's easy. You get the right policy. Easy with select quote it's affordable, too. You have no idea. It's a lot more affordable than you think. So if you have high blood pressure, no problem. If you have diabetes, that's fine, too. Even if you have heart disease. Select quote partners with carriers that can cover those conditions and others. Head to selectquote.com and a licensed insurance agent will call you right away with the right policy for your life and your budget. It's select quote right, Dawson.

[Dawson]

Select quote they shop, you save. Get the right life insurance quote for you for [e-mail] Corolla go to selectquote.com Corolla today to get started.

[Adam Carolla]

That's selectquote.com Corolla homes.com oh, good. I love these guys. They are great. I wish they were around when I was a young home buyer back in the day. And maybe homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's at. Homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com we've done your homework.

[Dawson]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam Raymond of Cincinnati. I just passed a Tesla that had a sticker that said felon. He's a felon. And because of your brown radio and kill switch, I don't know if this person is on the left or if they're just trying to protect their car from getting.

[Dawson]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's like when you see the liquor store in the bad neighborhood and it has the Black Lives Matter sign in front. Like, are you down with the cause? Are you trying not to get looted? Because the signs. Liquor store's been there for 37 years, but the sign's only like 10 minutes old. So I think you're trying not to get looted. Yeah, that's a sad part.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Smart old Korean man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All right. Oh, we got a bumper sticker, actually, which is kind of funny. Have said that even though the left is down with the LGBT community and very progressive and gay marriage and all that kind of stuff, they still their go to. To make fun of Trump is to say that he's Elon's bitch or he sucks his dick or gets your dick out of his mouth. It's like, it's all just gay behavior. So I don't know why, but Republicans have two dads. And it was on the back of a Tesla. It was a bumper sticker. It's Elon kissing Trump. But again, are we making fun of the gay community here? We're making fun of gay adoption. Like, why is this. Yeah, here's what I'm saying. I talk, I like. As we've learned, I like building and I like vintage cars. Right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And racing vintage cars. But if I was making fun of a guy, wouldn't go, I bet that douche likes building and vintage car racing. Because I'm a fan of that and I talk about it. You guys are fan of the gay lifestyle and you talk about it and you go to all the marches. So why do you use being gay as a pejorative against somebody when. And you're so down with the gay cause.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Why are you trying to put logic on this?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, maybe that's it. You have a gay brother in law and you brag about him all the time. Like, okay, so Elon and Trump are kissing, and that was on the back of a Tesla. All right, what's in the news?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right, in the news, there's a loneliness epidemic. After studying 29 countries and are loneliness rates, a team at Emory University scientists found that Greece and its neighbor Cyprus have the loneliest people.

[Adam Carolla]

Cyprus is different from Greece. It's a separate place. I'm such an ugly American. Dfg. Did you even know that.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Greece is a country?

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, and Cyprus is another country?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

No, Cyprus, dude, I know this. Cyprus is an island.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Oh wow. Yeah, it's near. It's in the, it's like off of the coast of Turkey.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you, you were in the Greek system so you would know this stuff. I was next to a shit bucket in Koreatown.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Hey. Slovakia and Italy almost tied for second place in the loneliness list, but America got into the top five of lonely. Of lonely. Yeah. We're having an epidemic. Rounding out the list, Israel, Czech Republic, Romania, Bulgaria and Latvia.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe we should stop allowing people to have cats as pets.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Cause it satiates like a cat is like what methadone is to a chunky. You know, you're like, ah, it's not so bad. I got my tabby here, you know, and then you don't leave the house, you don't find friends, you're not motivated.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And then you die and the cat eats you.

[Adam Carolla]

That's if the guy looks at porn, he beats off. He doesn't want to go out clubbing that night. You know what I'm saying?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You're right.

[Adam Carolla]

He's taking the edge off. No more beating off. And no more cats. That would change us a lot. So wait a minute. The most lonely is Greece?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And Cyprus.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a weird. Why are they so lonely in Greece?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, you know, they say a lot of people aren't married, kind of elderly, find themselves feeling alone. There's a lot of more lonely middle aged adults in the country.

[Adam Carolla]

Who's the least. I want to know who the least lonely is.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I would get. Oh, the least lonely.

[Adam Carolla]

Denmark and Switzerland.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And Netherlands and Spain. They're always societies. Yeah. So then would you go to a place that was least lonely or most lonely? Because if it was most lonely, you could probably get laid. But it was least lonely people would be spoken for. Dfg. Where do you go? You go to Denmark or you go to Cyprus or Greece?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Denmark seem to. They're like the happiest people. They have the best cheese, they make the best Legos.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

And I got nothing against the Danes, but I'm a little bit sick of them winning everything.

[Adam Carolla]

The Danes winning everything?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, they're the happiest. Like the. Dude, I've been there. The chicks are hot.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah, they got hot chicks.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah. But I mean I've never been to Greece, but I mean the lady there A lot of them have mustaches.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? You never been there?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

A lot of the dudes, they become, they learn the ropes, if you will, by a goat or a sheep.

[Adam Carolla]

You've never been there, though. How do you know so much?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

The Greek Council.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. You know. You've learned that from the Greek system. Oh, I didn't know that.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

And just through hearsay.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, hearsay. Okay, okay. And you're a Delta Foo, right?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Well, that's when I started, when I was expelled from. I can't say it because they'll sue me again.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. All right. Sorry. I didn't mean to break.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

I had those. I had to start my own house, and I did, and as a matter of fact, it became so popular that we have chapters in Corcoran State Penitentiary, Folsom.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it just.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Like a lot of things, it's a bitch to run this multinational organization, so I was trying to get it to offload it to some Chinese dudes.

[Adam Carolla]

Your frat house?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Well, no, like all the organization. Yeah. But then they're like, we want to do this ourselves. And they kind of gave me the fucking Heisman, bro.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? They gave you the Heisman? Wow.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah. They're like, we'll copy your idea. We'll make it cheaper, fast, better.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, that's what those Chinese do. They do it with golf clubs and they do it with frat houses. They knock it off.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah. But I would like to see them go funnel for funnel with some good, hard, banging American bros. And those sturts would be curled up in the fielder position.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. They couldn't hang with Poochie or Mike Gaff or some of the other guys in your frat. Not funnel for funnel. Right?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Not funnel for funnel. No way.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right. Sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Where were.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, Maybe they could smoke more opium than us.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's true. They like the opium over there, but they couldn't hang in the funnel. I think they have an enzyme that probably wouldn't even let them hang in the funnel department.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

The first thing is they get red in the face, and that's when you know that boot is coming.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. All right, sorry. I don't mind meaning. Get you emotional, Maverick. We got another story.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I got another story here. Terrence Howard says he passed on the Marvin Gaye biopic because he would have had to kiss a man. Said he would cut his lips off. I think we had a clip of.

[Adam Carolla]

Him saying, he's getting pretty controversial, this fellow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, he's one of the leading scientists.

[Adam Carolla]

I think all Right, let's hear. Well, you mean you couldn't kiss a guy on screen in a movie? No. Not even. Yeah, no, because I don't fake.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Has to.

[Adam Carolla]

I couldn't kiss a man either. That's tr. And that. That would fuck me. I would cut my lips off. Yeah, I would. If I kiss some man, I would.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Cut my lips off.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I would not do that. But I. It does not make me homophobic to not want to kiss a man.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Now.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. Listen, JV are all balls here, but you tell me. I've said it many times. People don't like it, but it's true. Guys have a visceral reaction to gay porn. You put your hand up, someone says, I crashed Porsche GT3. I go, let's check it out. You get your hand caught in some punch press and mayhem wants to do it. But if a guy's having gay sex, you put your hand up, you go, oh, come on, get that out here. We're not wired for it. It's not homophobic. We don't want to. It's. It's deeper than that. You know, somebody said, oh, there's a puppy that's going into a wood chipper. I'd go, I don't want to see that. I put my hand up. I put my hand up. When Joe Theisman got his compound fracture from Lawrence Taylor, like, I just don't want to see certain things. And gay sex is one of those things where dudes, Straight dudes just go, I don't want to see it. And I said, there's remarkably little gay bashing for the amount that we don't want to see gay sex. Because normally when you put your hand up and you go, I don't want to see it, then you want to go bash somebody who's doing it. But we can do both. I can put my hand up and go, I don't want to see it. And I can go do whatever you want. Now he was going, can I ask you a question?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Are there any ladies in porn that are like, I'm not munching that bitch's rug.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there anyone who says that?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, like lesbian. To have the same thing? Get your faith out of my crotch, baby.

[Adam Carolla]

No. You know, I think women are a lot more flexible that way. And the lady porn stars, you know, they'll. You know, they're basically jackass level stuntmen. You know, they'll. They'll do about anything for a few bucks. You know, gang bangs, things like that. You know, so. Yeah, but that's a Good question. Where were there historically? Like, was there. You know, did Nina Hartley go, wait a minute. I'm Christian and I just. There's certain things I don't do. Do you know what I mean? Like, is it a line? Was there somebody in female porn history that just. And I bet there were. There is instances where the porn star is married to a dude who's in the business, too. That always means it's gonna last forever. And I bet that woman goes, I'm married to this guy and I don't do that. That's a good. That's a very good question. Dfg. So wait. Yeah.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Any seniors who haven't written their thesis yet?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, right. That's a good subject. Now, wait, did he want him to play Marvin Gaye?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sorry, no, he passed on it.

[Adam Carolla]

On Marvin Gaye?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, he said. Because in the script there was a kissing scene.

[Adam Carolla]

Apparently.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I didn't know this about Marvin Gaye. He was, like, bisexual, so he, you know, kind of had a lot of room.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, bro, his last name was Gay.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, exactly. And yeah, they said that he'd bang anything.

[Adam Carolla]

Did dfg. You know my Marvin Gaye joke?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

His. His dad was a preacher who was a cross dresser who shot him to death. So I would say that Marvin Gaye's last words was, what's going on? Thank you.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

I don't want to interrupt Mayhem's news, but it reminds me of a joke. Why did Liberace get divorced from his husband?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Why?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Because he kept coming home shit faced.

[Adam Carolla]

Now you cross the line. Marvin Gaye never came out as gay. But one account from the Boston Review describes gays confessing to enjoying dressing in women's clothes. Oh, wait a minute. He did, or his dad did Clothes. And acknowledging a feminine sensibility like his father. Oh. Who wasn't gay. Who also expressed shame related to bisexuality, suggesting an internal. And I'm out of. I can't read the bottom of it. Dad was a cross dresser, so they.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Both kind of had some sugar in the gas tank.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Terrence Howard is really making some proclamations these days. I like it. I think a brother can get away with it. I don't think. I don't think Ethan Hawke could do that. I think he'd be banned. I think he'd be in trouble. I think if a white, straight actor said that, there'd be trouble.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

One times one equals Marvin Gayesdale.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. O.J. s dad was a cross dresser, too.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, interesting. I guess I should Homicidal tendencies and.

[Adam Carolla]

Cross dressing, you know, it would be.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

A cool all balls versus jv. Question for next time is killing your own son?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't. Yeah, his Marvin Gaye Jr. Marvin Gaye Sr. Was his dad. Struggled with alcoholism and social isolation. Yeah, I'm sometimes a little hard on my dad, but he wasn't a cross dresser, you know, and I guess I should thank him for that posthumously, but. All right, what's next?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Two year old boy is safe. After walking about seven miles and spending the night in mountain lion territory in northwest Arizona. After he snuggled up to a very good dog who had found the boy wandering in the rugged wilderness, his new furry hero then led him to safety in the morning.

[Adam Carolla]

Was it his dog?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, it was Buford. 160 pound, half Pyrenees, half Anatolian working ranch dog.

[Adam Carolla]

160 pounds?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, big dog. I think we have some footage, huh?

[Adam Carolla]

Dogs don't get much bigger than one. 160. I mean that is. My dog's 105 pounds. Huge.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's a hero.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if we have Clip.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, no clip.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, there it is.

[G]

I noticed my dog was sitting down by the entrance and I look up and the little kid's standing there with my dog. Knowing that he was the missing child. It was, yeah, it was a relief that he was alive. So I was, you know, ecstatic that he was okay and that my dog found him. He's an Anatolian Pyrenees, so he's a guardian dog. So he just kind of patrols within a half a mile of the house all night and keeps coyotes away and stuff like that. So the little boy, when I finally got him, calmed down and got him in the house and gave him some water and food and stuff and he calmed down and I asked him, I said, did you walk all night? And he said no. He said, I laid up under a tree and I said, well, did my dog find you? And he goes, yep. And I, I'm guessing he found him over here in the horse pasture somewhere under a tree and then just brought him home. So it's what he does. He loves kids. So I can imagine he wouldn't leave him when he found him. So I can't believe that kid made it that far. It's seven miles and it's just. And that's if he walked in a straight line. There's three big mountain ranges between here and his house and big valleys and yeah, it's for a two year old to do that, it's insane.

[Adam Carolla]

God got the wanderlust 10 years old. You ever get lost? You ever wander? All the time.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I always. As soon as I could climb out of the crib, I was escaping constantly.

[Adam Carolla]

I got lost, and they had to call the patrol and plane and everything. I wandered out. Yeah. Where we ran.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

I've woken. Yeah, I've woken up at night, surrounded. Surrounded by cougars. But the only thing I had was a very badly bruised pelvis.

[Adam Carolla]

We rented a house in Chatsworth and buy a nature preserve or something. I mean, the valley. I mean, we're talking San Fernando Valley, Chatsworth, the end. Deep chest. Where, you know, 1968. And there was nothing.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Rugged wilderness.

[Adam Carolla]

There's nothing there. Nothing. I mean, the whole valley was just open, Just orchards and shit. I mean, when I was working there in the 80s as a carpenter, I worked out at Chatsworth. There was lots of vacant lots and stuff. It was kind of rural, weird, open. You know, it's all been. All been filled in. God, that's a good dog.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Isn't it?

[Adam Carolla]

Isn't it?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

I like that. He's out on parole, on patrol, looking for coyotes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Yeah. That's what they do. They'll fight him.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, dfg, who do you want to hang out with? Do you want to hang out with a guy who says coyote or coyotes?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I say coyote.

[Adam Carolla]

And which is it?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Thought it was coyote.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

I like coyote.

[Adam Carolla]

I like coyote, too. But over here, you'd be laughed at if you said coyotes. It's coyote. Like, everyone here says coyote.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

They only take coyote in, like, Montana, Wyoming, or.

[Adam Carolla]

And then what is it like? Which I. I don't accept. Here's my whole thing getting back to Porsche or Porsche.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Ah, Porsche.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a dude's name. It's a dude's name.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Was the guy named Porsche?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, his name is Porsche. That's why it's called a fucking Porsche. It's not called a Porsche. Hey. You know comedian Adam Caroll. Carolla. I call him Caroll. Yeah, but it's his name. It's a name. Ferdy. Porsche.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, I didn't know.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Ferdinand.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm just saying it's coyote or it's coyote, but I don't like it being both. Or maybe I do. Maybe it's a regional thing. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Dialect. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. You say coyote, you're Trump voter.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

You say coyote, you may not be a Trump voter. So let's say if you say coyote, you're probably 60, 65% Kamala Harris. You say coyote, you're about 93% Trump voter. And then if you put your Oakley blades on top of your ball cap, you're 100% Trump. Right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

DFG. Is there anyone who wears a trucker's hat with Oakley blades upside down on top of the bill and says coyote and voted for Kamala Harris?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Negative.

[Adam Carolla]

Nothing could be.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm imagining a lesbian chick. Yeah. I'm imagining a big, you know what I mean, burly, lesbian, Rosie O'Donnell in her prime type.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's written on my screen that some people pronounce it coyote, whereas others pronounce it coyote. That's informative. Both are acceptable. I know, but I want to know. I want to know what it says like. Okay, it was Wiley Coyote, not Wiley Coyote. Right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think there's just a folksy way of saying it. If you're down on the range, you know, you can say it over long distance. There's a coyote.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That way you don't gotta go to coyote.

[Adam Carolla]

Coyotes are weird because they're out, man. I take walks.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I have seen one get. I've seen a coyote, a pack of coyotes, snatch a little dog and just run off with it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes. It was very heartbreaking.

[Adam Carolla]

Was it a Chihuahua?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, it was a Chihuahua. So fine. Yeah, that's all right. You saw it. Where were you?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I saw it. I was looking over my fence at it and I said, make a run for it, Jasmine, and snatched it directly and ran off into the knife.

[Adam Carolla]

If you live in the hills or anywhere around here, man, you'll see them all the time. They're all over the place.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yep. But if you get an Anatolian shepherd or an Argentinian Mastiff, those things eat coyotes like Tic Tacs.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

See, hell yeah. I had a pit bull that would save the little dogs from. Yeah, but we locked the pit bull up.

[Adam Carolla]

You had a hero pit bull?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I had a hero pit bull. Kept coming home with roughed up face and I was like, what are you doing? What? That day I figured it out. Snatched my little dog. And the pit bull wasn't there to save her that time.

[Adam Carolla]

Was it the dog you dressed up like? A hot dog?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No way. Different hot dog. Dog. Yeah. No, this is that. This is like. Oh, man. A different era of life.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you have a dog growing up?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I did.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm so jealous you did it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, never did I know a dog in my house.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you have a dog growing up, dfg?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Yeah, I had the beagle who showed up on our doorstep, so we named her Little Orphan Annie.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? He had a Beagle show up? Yeah, we. We had a cat named Norman. That's all we had. What was that. What was that game? That porn name game? You know, the name of your dog, the name of the street you grew up on.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Your middle name in the street.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what it is.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Good old Nick Andy's right here.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't have a middle name. It's a middle name and the street. So what's your porn name?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Nick Andes.

[Adam Carolla]

Nick Andes. What's yours? Dfg.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Mine could be where? Maverick. Like Maverick Sepulveda.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Okay, you grew up on Sepulveda now? I grew up on Houston street, which is cool. So if I had a cool middle name like Dutch, then you'd be working with Dutch Houston, which a pretty fucking killer porn name, right? But my parents were too lazy to either get me a dog or middle name, so I didn't have. I don't have a porn name. But Houston is a hell of a start, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Norman Houston.

[Adam Carolla]

Norman Houston. Yeah. And I like, too, that my street was phonetically spelled. It was H, U, S, T, O, N. And I like that.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Dudes are psyched if they grew up on Hyman Street.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's right. Middle name Buster. Thank you, dfg, for setting that one up. Buster Hymens. That could be the greatest porn. I was thinking about the greatest gay porn name while I was falling asleep the other night, which was Rocky Stucco. That is a strong gay porn name. You like Rocky Stucco? Man.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

I don't like gay porn, okay?

[Adam Carolla]

I look away.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

I've never seen it. I look away.

[Adam Carolla]

I look away.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I put my hand up.

[Adam Carolla]

You look away? You put your hand up. All right. Do you got any more? One more or do I gotta. Don't pull from my list.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, you gotta pull.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me go out with a philosophical thought. Could I do that, please? We talk about the haves and the have nots and poor folk and living wage and all that kind of stuff, but, like, I was sitting in a movie theater in Burbank, watching the Accountant, too.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Last weekend. And I sat there and I looked around at some of the local folk, younger dudes, Burbank dudes, sitting around eating a lot of popcorn and licorice and vines and sodas and stuff. And I thought to myself, I'm definitely the richest person in this theater. But I don't think my life is so different than any of the people in this theater. You come to the theater, you pay your money, you watch your movie, you go back home. Every. Everyone's Got a cell phone. Everyone's got an iPhone now, which means we're all almost even. You know what I mean? It's. Everything is in the iPhone. I don't even know how to work mine, so I'm a little disadvantaged. You go home and you watch a flat panel 60 inch TV set. You got 5,000 stations, you got all the streamers. You drive a Mini Cooper automatic, but who cares? It's.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's.

[Adam Carolla]

The air conditioning works, the thing's reliable. You can drive here to Vegas on, you know, four and a half gallons of fuel. You got a credit card in your wallet. You get to travel, you fly south. We're not flying private, but, you know, I might get lucky and catch a flight with Mark Garrigos in his private jet, but it's probably more likely Southwest. Check in a hotel. People eat out all the time. They travel all the time they have. The entertainment is basically the same. They can go to the concerts, the events, the stuff. As a matter of fact, I go to way less events than my poor friends. They're always going out to Coachella or something. They always got some event, some concert, some Taste of Encino thing that they're going to. I'm always just going to work somewhere. And it struck me it's not a big life. There's not a big drop off between being a millionaire and just sort of making money. I mean, it's about 20%, but it's like, all right, so I would live in a big house that's expensive, but 86% of my time is just sitting in my office watching a TV set, looking at my phone. I'm not, not like I'm out sunning myself on the deck or anything. I'm just sitting in a room with a TV on. You know, you're. I'm eating Taco Bell. Like there's not a big. There's not a big difference. Like in the past, you didn't have a car or you didn't have a horse, or you walk to the well to get your water with a gourd on your head or something. Basically, I'm not eating any different. I'm not living any different. I'm not doing anything. We're all just sitting in the same theater watching Ben Affleck. So it's kind of struck me that it's not really, you know, when I grew up poor, poor meant something. No air conditioning, fridge was empty. You didn't eat. When I was poor, you would never eat steak. My family would never buy steak. You never eat There was no such thing as steak, you know. Now you know, go to El Pollo Loco, you get the steak burrito or whatever, Chipotle or whatever. It's just, it's not the same thing. It's not a big drop off. I miss it. I want there to be a bigger chasm between me and everyone else in that theater, but there really isn't. I do have the same fucking life. I just pay more in taxes. I mean, that's really about it. Thoughts?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Gentlemen, technology has elevated us.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What do you think? Dfg?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

The liquor may be different, but what I'm saying is you can. The buzz is the same whether you are drinking fine champagne or Strohs light.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? That's that, that's the point. And even like in the booze department, like, you know, you can get yourself a nice bottle of bullet rye or a nice bottle of. There's a million Whiskeys and Ryes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

$5 Evan Williams.

[Adam Carolla]

They're under, they're way under 30 bucks. You know, like it's, it's. You don't have to be drinking the high end Courvoisier and stuff. They got cheap stuff. You go to Trader Joe's, you can get a bottle of vodka in a glass bottle for like $6. And it's fine. It just tastes like vodka. You can go anywhere. You can just go to Trader Joe's and buy fucking everything for practically nothing. Steak included steak and vodka every night.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

But if this supply chain, a lot of that is because we have access to cheap goods from overseas. And if the supply chain stops, we are going to be living in an area of being deprived.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you're getting back to the tariffs again, huh?

[Deaf Frat Guy]

No, but when you were growing up in the 70s, that's because there was less stuff to have. So the differences were more between rich and poor.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we didn't have stuff. You couldn't order stuff or be delivered to your house. You couldn't buy anything. Like, we just had the same, you know, same sofa and the same sweat jacket for 26 years. You know what I mean? Like, we just had the same stuff all the way through. You just couldn't. The only thing that is not cheap and abundant now are good sunglasses. Like I wanted to buy some good sunglasses the other day. I was like, what are those persols or whatever? They're 430 bucks. I'm like, oh, no, that's too much. What's the Ray Bans with the glass lens? What's that 245? I go, what happened with the glass. Just find me like a pair of sunglasses that have a glass lens. Glass lenses, but you know, under 100 bucks they don't exist. They have this place sells ray bag.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Get yourself a nice pair of beer goggles. You'll be happy as a clam with a one way ticket to tuna town.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, well, a good note to go out on DFG. You should go to rock androlljunkie.net to check out all DFG's offerings. Yes.

[Deaf Frat Guy]

Hell yeah. And the death Frank guy on X.

[Adam Carolla]

Death rec on X as well. You got adamcorola. Com. I'm being bellflower, working, paying taxes, doing stand up there. That'd be May 24th. And you can go to AdamCarolla.com and find out all the live shows and check out my special. Got a comedy special on that's on YouTube right now. Adam Carolla comes clean. Check that out. Until next time, I'm Carolla for Mayhem Miller and the DFG Saiyan Mahala.

[Dawson]

You can leave us a voicemail. The number is 888-634-1744 and you can get tickets to CDA's [e-mail].

[Pluto TV Announcer]

Stream all the movies and shows you love for free on Pluto tv.

[Adam Carolla]

Say what now? Showtime.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

That means drama is free. With heart wrenching stories from love and basketball power and Greenleaf.

[Adam Carolla]

In this family we live by the.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

Spirit and laughter is free. With gut busting comedies like Key and Peele, the Neighborhood, Everybody Hates Chris and Boomerang. Watch all the hits all for free. Free from all your favorite devices.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh my God, I love it.

[Pluto TV Announcer]

Feel the free Pluto TV stream now. Pay never.