Mark-Paul Gosselaar + Dr. Drew (Carolla Classics)

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show – Carolla Classics: Mark-Paul Gosselaar + Dr. Drew
Date: February 27, 2026
Podcast Network: PodcastOne / Carolla Digital

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Episode Overview

This "Carolla Classics" episode delivers a quintessential Adam Carolla experience, blending unfiltered humor, sharp social and pop culture commentary, and laid-back banter. The classic clips feature Adam Carolla with guests including Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Saved by the Bell, NYPD Blue), Dr. Drew Pinsky, Jordan Harbinger, Gina Grad, and Bryan Bishop, and span topics from Hollywood careers to societal gripes, viral scandals, and the quirks of adulthood.

Key themes explored are celebrity culture and public scandals, generational shifts in values and humor, the perils of internet outrage, and personal stories about masculinity, family responsibility, and resilience. The episode maintains the show's signature tone: skeptical, irreverent, and always ready to skewer sacred cows and public fads.

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Notable Segments and Key Discussion Points

1. Pete Davidson, "Cock Stock," and Modern Celebrity Culture

• Start: [109:00]
• Adam opens the segment with a rant about Pete Davidson's romantic exploits, particularly with Kate Beckinsale (19-year age gap), to illustrate how perceived value in relationships is based on celebrity lineage and "who you banged before me."
• Quote:
  • "All decisions are made... Who is he banging before me? Ariana Grande. Panties drop."
    — Adam Carolla [110:31]
• Adam laments the transactional, status-based "market value" of modern dating: "He raises cock stock through the roof, so high, it’s through the jeans..." [111:47]

2. Blackface, Yearbook Controversy, and Outrage Cycles

• Start: [119:17]
• Adam discusses the controversy surrounding Virginia Governor Ralph Northam’s yearbook photo (blackface and KKK costume), offering a take on historical context, apologies, and the current trend of internet "gotcha" culture.
• Adam defends dressing as specific Black celebrities (Mr. T) for Halloween, distinguishing it from minstrel-show blackface.
• Quote:
  • "Dressing up as random black guy with random klan guy? Not good... You dressing as a stereotype, Mr. T or Karl Malone, that’s a human being. I reject those rules."
    — Adam Carolla [126:05]
• He points out the performative nature of modern apologies and internet outrage cycles, suggesting most are fear-driven, not sincere.

3. Kids, Media, and Parental Boundaries

• Start: [134:03]
• A listener calls in about letting their 9-year-old watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. Adam, Gina, and Bryan discuss boundaries for kids, the rise of innuendo in media, and the difference between exposure and endorsement.
• Quote:
  • "Don’t give things energy... If the kid walks into the room while you’re watching, don’t dive for the remote."
    — Adam Carolla [137:18]
• Gina points out that it's easier than ever to explain gender expression to a child and that much kid-targeted content is loaded with subtext.

4. Internet Haters and Social Media Trolling

• Start: [147:01]
• Jordan Harbinger joins for a "Harbinger of Success" segment, advocating for treating online "haters" like toddlers seeking attention.
• Bryan shares a personal story about giving up on internet forums after receiving mindless criticism.
• Quote:
  • "A lot of these uninformed, nasty critics... they’re just like toddlers that are cranky and in a bad mood. Childish mindset for attention only."
    — Jordan Harbinger [147:22]

5. Hollywood’s Filming Exodus and Crew Life

• Start: [166:05]
• Mark-Paul Gosselaar describes life working on FOX’s "The Passage," covering the mass migration of crew to Atlanta for better tax incentives, and the hardships and adjustments of being separated from family during long shoots.
• The discussion highlights massive production teams, transient crew life, and working culture on big TV projects.
• Quote:
  • "We had 200 crew members every day on set... All these people are working on one thing."
    — Mark-Paul Gosselaar [171:17]

6. Racing Stories: Celebrity Grand Prix and Motocross

• Start: [176:23]
• Adam and Mark-Paul—both car/motorsports enthusiasts—swap stories about racing at Irwindale and the Toyota Pro/Celebrity Race at Long Beach, poking fun at the ultra-competitive, sometimes rough tactics of other celebrity racers.
• Quote:
  • "Just get five laps in clean. Don’t dive bomb somebody... Inevitably, lap one, hairpin corner, some nut job cuts inside and you’re pushed against the wall."
    — Adam Carolla [182:15]

7. Homelessness, Public Health, and Urban Policy (with Dr. Drew)

• Start: [204:35]
• Dr. Drew enters to discuss the typhus outbreak in LA and the public health consequences of “failure of civilization” in dealing with homelessness, filth, and disease vectors spreading from camps.
• Critique of city leadership and the prevailing "urban camper" narrative, advocating for urgent policy intervention.
• Quote:
  • "No other country allows this to happen because they treat their mentally ill. We refuse to do that."
    — Dr. Drew Pinsky [212:51]

8. Tori Spelling, Inheritance, & Hollywood Families

• Start: [95:52]
• AJ Benza recounts a personal story about a mistaken hookup with Tori Spelling, which derails into a discussion about celebrity finances, lack of inheritance, and complicated parental relationships in Hollywood.
• Quote:
  • "Would you give your daughter $50 million? If I had 600? Yes, you would. But she’d probably fuck it all up."
    — Adam Carolla [99:52]

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Memorable Quotes

• "I don't like anyone who says, 'Love yourself.' Bothers me. It's too much of that. You gotta earn it."
  — Adam Carolla [138:36]
• "The thing about the gotchas is people have to stop responding to the gotchas. Just tell them to shut up—they’ll lose interest almost immediately."
  — Adam Carolla [130:02]
• "I'm starting to think that many people just have post-traumatic stress disorder. People understand the Vietnam version of it... but you’re a kid, growing up with someone supposed to protect you, beating the shit out of you... Why wouldn’t you have a disorder?"
  — Adam Carolla [47:08]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Pete Davidson/Celebrity Culture: [109:00] – [112:22]
• Blackface/Outrage Culture: [119:17] – [128:30]
• RuPaul’s Drag Race/Parenting: [134:03] – [138:59]
• Social Media Critics: [147:01] – [150:47]
• Hollywood Production Moves: [166:05] – [171:24]
• Motorsports: [176:23] – [183:51]
• Public Health/Dr. Drew: [204:35] – [218:11]
• Tori Spelling/Inheritance: [95:52] – [100:13]

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Tone and Language

The episode is classic Carolla: forthright and brash, mixing nostalgia with current hot topics, and a penchant for dissecting societal foibles. Regular humor—sometimes self-deprecating, sometimes biting—underscores even serious commentary. Guests like Dr. Drew, Gina Grad, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar offer lively back-and-forth with Adam’s monologues, keeping the episode engaging, unpredictable, and peppered with inside-Hollywood anecdotes.

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For listeners seeking a deep-dive into pop culture, scandal, and Adam's worldview—with authentic, often hilarious insight—this episode is quintessential Carolla.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Cruel Classics.

[B]

I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.

[A]

This is the podcast.

[B]

We play the best moments, highlights and

[A]

fans selected clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla show. We have a separate podcast feed titled Cruel Classics.

[B]

If you'd like to gain access to

[A]

the ad free archives, make sure to

[B]

check out podcast one. And if you'd like to gain access

[A]

to the ad free archives of the

[B]

Adam Carolla show, The Adam and Dr.

[A]

Drew show, as well as access to the new podcast Beat it out, make

[B]

sure to check out Adam Carolla's substack adamcarollo.substack.com and if you'd like to request

[A]

a clip, please email us classicsamcarollo.com now on to the clips coming up first,

[B]

we have Adam Carollo Show 2498 featuring AJ Benza, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop from 2019.

[A]

AJ had a short run on the podcast, came back several times, hasn't been on a while. Hope you guys enjoy. Good day, Gina Graff.

[C]

Good day to you, Handball.

[D]

Brian, in a business with no ethics, we gotta have ethics.

[A]

Yeah, Benz will be in here. He's got a lot of stories to get us caught up on. I'm a little bit sick.

[C]

Just a little bit sick.

[A]

Been a little bit sick for a couple days now, but still. Did the cold plunge this morning? I don't think the two affect each other. I think cold is the cold, but fat is the fat.

[C]

You and wives tales would not get along.

[A]

And work is to work, meaning work sounds bad, but it doesn't have to be. And fat sounds bad, but doesn't make you fat. And I don't think being cold makes you cold, gives you a cold.

[B]

I had to be an asshole the other day when we had a cold snap here in la. Like a week or a week and a half ago, it was pretty cold for la. And Tessa was going outside with that shoe. She went, I don't want to run outside, blah, blah. And Chris is like, no, no, you'll catch a cold. And I'm under my breath, I'm muttering, you're not gonna get cold.

[C]

Cause she doesn't have shoes on.

[B]

Yeah, she'll catch a virus in her feet. Stupid. Total dick.

[A]

You will learn that women know what they know even if they don't know it. And that will trump all science and all studies and all everything when the mom thing kicks in. The mom thing kicks in. Now, it's wrong a lot of the time, but it's the mom thing kicking in. And it'll just kick in and it'll go. And you can sit and have a discussion with him. But you have to understand, you're not talking to Dr. Drew. You're talking to Mom. And mom ain't. She ain't open to your knowledge, your wisdoms, your graphs, or your whatever. And if you think you can go find something on the computer that proves you right and walk it in and show it to them, that's just a more.

[B]

Enjoy your shovel. Enjoy your shovel, son.

[A]

It's a deeper argument.

[C]

Yeah, I'm totally with you. I think most women are like that. The only one I can't see seem to let go of is. It has been instilled in me since the day I was born that if you go outside in the cold with wet hair, that's true.

[B]

Oh, you're going to catch a virus.

[C]

Oh, is it really through your hair?

[B]

Yeah, through your hair.

[A]

Folliculitis. I will say that. I know.

[B]

I know. Christy cognitively knows, you know, the cold thing and the virus thing and all that. I think she was, like, you said, going, mom's mom zone. Because, like, as if to dissuade Tessa from going outside without shoes on, like, even though she knows. Not true.

[A]

All right. Well, it is something I'm deeply fascinated with in a morbid way, which is the people who know what they know, and it doesn't really matter what info comes in. My feeling is, let's substitute the pasta for the steak until we talk to Vinny Tortorich, and then that day, we shall stop and go back the other way. So my thing was I wanted steak. And then at some point in the 80s, it was like, pasta, pasta, pasta. And I was like, okay, we'll do pasta. And then we did pasta. And now somebody came in and made more sense and went back. You should never be in I know what I know mode you should be in. Coach me up.

[B]

Educate me.

[C]

I was in Palm Springs over the weekend for a friend's birthday, and it was beautiful. And it was this.

[B]

I know you're in La Quinta. I know actually, you're in La Quinta.

[C]

I was actually in Bermuda Dunes, but it was this beautiful compound. Everyone had a great time, but a lot of the girls there who are dear friends of mine and gorgeous and thin and love that, you know, lifestyle, wellness, all that great stuff, they are all obsessed with this new thing of drinking celery juice. Just pure celery juice. You juice it, you get rid of the fibers, you drink that. And they're all talking about it. I'm like, well, shit. I'm listening. Okay? They said it's for eczema and it's for inflammation. I'm like, I got all of it.

[B]

What about the celery? Stock is bad?

[C]

I don't know. But they're talking about, like, we're reading this book and blah, blah, blah. I looked up the guy who wrote this book, and this might be a good question for Vinny. Cause I. Hey, my friends, they seem to know what they're doing. They're all hot as hell, so God love them. But this guy who wrote this book is called the Medical Medium. He does not have a medical degree. He talked to a ghost who told him that this stuff is good. And he has a million and a half followers on Instagram. And people are buying these books. They are flying off the shelf. And now I'm not on board anymore.

[A]

Well, let me say this. You know, we don't. I mean, we don't think that LeBron James can turn Sonny Carolla into an NBA All Star. We get it. He's LeBron James. We have this thing with guys. It's. My people think Brad Smith, Brad Pitt, by the way, is smart, but he's a stoner. But they think he's smart because he's a stoner. He looks like he looks smart.

[B]

You can read smart people's lines pretty well.

[A]

My stuff, I swear to God, whenever you hear these guys on a talk show, it used to be it was always my Robert De Niro theory. I sort of shifted it because people realize he is stupid when he does shows, when he does like long form interviews, he starts to show his hand because it's hard to hold up for 45 minutes or whatever that is. Anyway, we think good looking guys and not. Not pretty guys or not. It's a certain kind of handsome. It's a handsome compa. Handsome. It's like competence meets handsome. Like he looks like he knows what he's doing. You know what I mean? It's again, it's like central casting for airline pilot. Like, that guy knows Bronnie, right? That guy give me brawling. We listen to that guy and we shouldn't we listen to skinny chicks about what hot chicks who are skinny about what makes them hot and skinny.

[C]

Not.

[A]

But again, we should listen to LeBron James about what to do about our vertical and make sure and duck so you don't hit your head on the hoop when you're jamming the ball. It's like, I get it, you're good at this thing. And Your body, you've been blessed. But why is your information. As a matter of fact, your information is probably worse than someone who studies it and is struggling with it versus someone who's just there and fell asleep on third.

[C]

Thinks they had a triple.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think we should be listening to hot chicks about what makes them hot.

[C]

Done, done, and done.

[A]

Unless they can produce a picture of them looking like Rhea Perlman from, like, you know, 2009. And go before the celery juice, before the medium. This was me. This was me before the celery juice. You see, I'm Chrissy Teigen. All right, someone wants a story about my roommate's ex con father. I'll tell you that in a second. First, I'll tell you Lowe's. This half of the show brought to you by Lowe's. And MVMT watches movementwatches dot com. I'll tell you about that in a second. Let's see. Ooh. Caitlin took a picture of garbage with graffiti on it. I love it. I love it.

[B]

Someone tagged trash.

[A]

I love it when. When trash gets tagged. I love it when nature gets tagged. And we're not too far from the homeless being tagged.

[B]

Animals.

[D]

Mm.

[C]

Oh, man, oh, man.

[B]

This is in our trash alley downstairs.

[A]

Somebody. Okay, there's a. There's a side street behind us, and there are no apartments and there are no motion activated lights, and there's no cops. So every time somebody wants to dump a sofa, a mattress, or toilet, they simply chuck it out of their truck. I imagine if you wanted. Jesus, there's garbage everywhere. Now, if they're tagged or refrigerated, if the city wanted to do something about it. Oh, you know what I miss? Fuck. The undercover hot police chick who's trying to get the johns in the prostitution ring. Undercover bum. Remember in the 80s when he said he'd be drinking out of the bottle with the bag in it? You know, next thing you know, duster go flying open. He'd pull his hands up. You're right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If you took an undercover cop and just sent him out on Sunday night and had him walk around like a bum up and down that back street, you would see people dumping shit there every time. I'm convinced it happens in the wee hours of, like, Sunday night. There's nobody around. Boom. Dump it off. But anyway, one of the major failings of our city is just garbage everywhere. But I do like the idea that they're tagging garbage.

[C]

And a real mixed message. It says, no Nazi pig's God is love.

[B]

It's like an artist canvas.

[C]

Yeah. And it says bread and soup. And I'm wondering if the person who. I think it's a little bit countercontradictory for a God is Love advocate to spray paint trash. Don't you think they would put the trash in the street?

[A]

It'd be nice. Yeah. The other side of the street there's a refrigerator that's tagged but sorry, the question. And then just garbage. Because why should people throw away garbage? Here's the thing, yo, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

To properly dispose of garbage, I have a warehouse. We are gutting the warehouse. A bunch of drywall and two by fours from the 60s. You must hire a dumpster. And the dumpster gets dropped off on your job site. And it's 300 bucks. Every time they come pick it up,

[B]

it feels like a little too much. There was some way around it.

[A]

300 bucks, it ain't free. They charge. And they don't charge like 28, 50. They charge like 300 bucks a pop.

[B]

Solve this problem for me. I have a bunch of trash, but I don't want to pay for a dumpster. What do I do?

[A]

Go right next to where we broadcast and throw it out in the fucking sidewalk. And the city, there's no enforcement of anything. No one ever gets ticketed or fined or anything. So in a way, if you are a person and you're throwing away old mattresses or construction material or things like that, you're probably on the sad side of the Mason Dixon median income line, right? Okay. So you don't have 300 bucks to hire the rollaway dumpster to come in front of your apartment building or to make a load out to the dump. So this is what happens. All right? Question about Big Rick. Alex. Hey, Ace. What's going on, man? Hey, man. Undercover Bum was my gay porn name in the 90s. Oh, man, I'd watch that shit. Yeah. So anyway, it was either not in 50 years wall be chicks or taco Bell material. But yet one of your friends dads had just gotten out of the joint

[E]

and he was sleeping on your couch.

[A]

I don't know if you've ever told the story on the air, but I

[E]

guess in the middle of a drunken

[A]

stupor in the middle of the night

[E]

just hawks a loogie across the room while he was sleeping outside.

[A]

No, these were two different guys. One was Rick. Big Rick, that was my best buddy, Chris's dad. He. I don't know. If you tell me what's worse, I need to crash on your sofa because I'VE just been released from prison, son. I'm the roommate, but I mean, it's my apartment. I'm living with Chris. So you tell me, would you rather have your dad? Everyone who's here say, son, I need to crash on your sofa after I'm released from the penitentiary because I don't have a place to stay. Or I'm going into the penitentiary in about three weeks. But I paid up on my apartment. Like, I don't want to re up for two weeks or half a month or whatever. I need to crash for three weeks before I go to prison. Now, they're both great, but one's greater.

[C]

Well, I'm factoring in a few things, but I definitely have an answer.

[B]

I want the doubt on his way out because those two weeks before, they're gonna be uncomfortable. Uncomfortable.

[C]

Interesting. I said I'd rather have the dad on his way in because two reasons.

[A]

A, I love. I love the people that form opinions

[C]

on things because A, it'll actually force you to bond with your dad and really. And really savor that time.

[A]

And B, but the more.

[C]

Wait, wait, wait. The more important thing there is a definitive time, you know, that is hard.

[A]

It was more me and Big Rick watching George Michael's Sports Machine on Sunday nights in our socks and underwear and a little less ponding with the sun.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But let's go to the Sports Machine. Punch that big button. So Big Rick, who's not with us anymore, you know, what am I gonna say? The guy I grew up with, the guy took me, you know, all the fun stuff I did, I did with Big Rick. He took me motorcycle riding.

[B]

Let's play lookout.

[A]

We robbed our first liquor store. Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna keep the car running.

[C]

Let's play safe house.

[B]

Honk the horn twice.

[A]

Yeah, he wasn't really that kind of criminal, but criminal enough.

[C]

Why was he in prison?

[A]

He wasn't caught up in the whole Mueller thing, if that's what you. Wasn't that kind of criminal either. Probably some drugs or something. Who. God knows. God knows what it was, but he showed up to my house in one of those boxes like when you get fired from your crappy job and they give you that wood grain box with

[C]

the little handles on the side.

[A]

Yeah, with the handles on it. He walked in, he had a pair of like boot cut wrangler jeans folded in the box. He had a pair of boots in the box. And he had a jar of clamado that was empty. It was this cold water jar, okay? His cold water jar, which smelled Faintly like clams, like the ocean if you took a sip off it like a pier. It's like back when a guy went, hey, that's my cold water bottle, man. I fill that thing up in the sink, I put it. Then when I get home from work, nice and cold

[C]

little things.

[A]

Oh my God. So Big Rick showed up with his box and he lived on our sofa for what I recall was, you know, more than two weeks, but under a month as I recall. And then he was off to prison, which is always interesting, like, okay, then, take care.

[B]

I'll see you soon.

[A]

Soon.

[F]

Have fun.

[A]

Tell the warden I said hi. Like, I was like, okay, so Chris's dad's going to prison, pick up a trade.

[C]

How was Chris emotionally?

[A]

Well, he was, you know, just sitting on a huge mountain of white privilege. Couldn't even hear. He didn't even know what was going on underneath him.

[C]

So.

[A]

But his dad, when his dad was doing well, when big Rick was doing well, he had a transmission shop in Hollywood and he had a truck and he got some dirt motorcycles and he would take us out dirt bike riding. And he, I mean he, I thought he spent lavishly. Like one time he sent me to Taco Bell. God, that same Taco Bell that three years later I would put my application in and be rejected by him. I didn't know it at the time. He like sent me to Taco Bell once to make a taco run. And it was like his son, his other son, me, maybe somebody else. We're going to Aqua Dozen Canyon to go motorcycle riding or whatever. And he was like, he used to call me Ad man. He'd just go ad. People used to call me Ad. And he'd go ad man. And I'd go, yeah, go to Taco Bell. I'd go, okay. And he'd go like, get 23 regular tacos. He'd give me like $10. And I was like, woo, this is crazy. We're getting 23 tacos. They're gonna be $10.

[B]

The security escort.

[A]

Oh my God. So Rick, at some point, Rick then got into some drugs or fell on some hard times or. I didn't know all the official particulars, but he used to come home. I remember a couple novelties about their house. They had wall to wall carpet. That was a big deal for me. Wall to wall, like, oh my God, the carpet goes and then it just kind of dies into the basement. And you could lay on it like it was clean, it was padded, it was new. And I'd lay down on the carpet and watch tv. And I think he'd come home on a Sunday, probably had too many beers at the bar, whatever. And one time he just kicked his boots off and he put his feet up on me like a stool, like a leg rest. He let out a huge fart and then he yelled, which I always yell to my son now, by the way. You never know the things that are going to get passed down.

[B]

Stick with you.

[A]

Big Rick would yell, speak out, old toothless one fart.

[B]

As though his anus.

[C]

Right, but why?

[A]

Because he just, he was drunk and he just farted on his son's friend. But he liked me. Yeah, we're thick as thieves.

[B]

Repeat the obvious.

[A]

And he would take his motorcycle riding and you know, whatever. And I think he was just one of these like kind of big, good looking guys who was just. He probably liked the ladies and like carousing and like, you know, when he had the money, he spent it, you know, and then he didn't have the money. And at a certain point he went away and the house went away and poor Barbara, the mom, just moved into a crappy little apartment with Chris and his brother. And that was kind of the end of that. Later on, I remember in one of my many shaming periods or shaming exchanges I had with my dad, just call it youth. Yeah, no, no, this, no, no, this was older. This was me shaming him as I was older. I was, for some reason, it was like around Christmas time and I was like in. I was at my dad's house. And I don't know why, but at some point it came up that Rick had pretty much fallen on hard times. And it's like he's living an apartment. I think he got a heart valve replaced in prison.

[C]

Jesus.

[A]

Not going good for Rick. And. And he always, he was like, he still worked on. He still worked on transmissions, but he'd like go to your house and bring the toolbox and get on the car and get all greasy. But he still had like the boots on and stuff like cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

[C]

That's cool.

[A]

Old school, whatever. And I'd see him and he'd be like, hey, Ace man, our ad man. How you doing, boy? And at some point I got the word that he had no TV set. And for me, I can watch all the commercials about kids with no food and villagers with no water, but when I hear about dude with no TV set, it really tugs.

[C]

Sarah McLaughlin comes to college.

[A]

Yes, yes. And I'm like, not even a black and white. No, no, no. So there you go, I'm like, I'm

[B]

gonna buy big 1 in 4 dads in this neighborhood.

[A]

I'm gonna buy Big rick a big TV set. Back when they were like, you'd buy a 34 incher and it was 35 inches deep. You know what I mean? Like a brick or whatever. So I thought to myself, all the meals I ate over there. All the pork chops I ate over there.

[B]

The least you could do.

[A]

All the pudding I ate over at that house, I ate. Me after meal, he would take us, we'd go motorcycle riding. You know, the only time I ever went dirt bike ridings with. With Rick, you know, and, and. And go to the lake and play with his like, remote control boat and all this. It's all the junk, all the fun stuff and everything. So I was like, nah, he's older, he's getting old. He's going to die soon. And. And you know, TVs were like. They were like a big Sony was like 600 bucks. It was like a couple grand or whatever in today's dollars. It was like, they weren't cheap. But anyway, I was somehow. My dad said, I went, the guys bought me all those meals and cooked all those meals and took me everywhere and bought all those tacos and never asked for. I never had lunch money or sandwich or he'd just buy Taco Bell or McDonald's or whatever. We'd go out to Aqua Dosie Canyon. So I was like going, yeah, I'll buy my whatever. And I stopped and I looked at my dad and I went, you know what? You should be buying him this goddamn TV show.

[B]

Raising my son.

[A]

He's the guy I must. I had at least 800 bucks worth of food over that house. And I was out every weekend with that guy, like motorcycle riding and stuff. Like, I don't know why I'm. I'm buying him a TV set. Cause I'm rich. But listen, old man, you should be buying him this TV set. This guy jumped in and did like half the parenting. So that was Big Rick, who was on his way to prison. Mike, the other guy. Mike the cement contractor. He's just a guy I met in the alley.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And he used to. He had a Ranchero, which is like the Ford version of an El Camino.

[C]

That big back. That big truck back.

[A]

Yeah. And the driver's side door was mashed in. And he'd had to get into his own car from the passenger side like every time. And I met him out in the alley and he was talking to me about construction and being a being doing contract doing cement work and blah, blah, blah. And at some point he just hit me up and said he had no place to go or whatever and he wanted to crash on my sofa. And he was like missing his front teeth and stuff like that. And I said, yeah, yeah, Mike, you can sleep on the sofa. He knew he was sleeping on the sofa. And there's only two things I remember. I remember we had a phone. You guys remember? These was a Mickey Mouse phone. It was like the arm of a Mickey Mouse and a Mickey Mouse head. It was like a Mickey Mouse phone. And at some point he was like, can I make a phone call? Like, yeah, go ahead. He's like, where's the phone? And we're like, there's the phone. He's like, where's the phone? That's the phone. What the fuck is that? I go, that's a phone. That's not a fucking phone. But that's a phone. That's our phone. It's like it was like a 10 minute conversation about, what is this?

[B]

Beggars, choosers in this case.

[A]

I know. And then at a certain point he passed out on the sofa. It was like 11 o' clock at night on a Sunday or something. I came walking through, like the living room to go to the kitchen.

[B]

He brushed his tooth.

[A]

And while. While he was passed out. He just passed out on his back. Just laying on his back. I know, it's funny, he was laying on his back and he's just snoring his ass off with his mouth hung open, everything. And I just walked by and I was like, I don't want to wake him up. While I take by. And he's like, you can hear him like, go like. And he popped up just with his feet were still down, but he popped up at the waist. He just went. He's like. Just hacked a fucking huge loogie and then just fell right back down. Like you'd never. If I told him the next day you did this, he'd go, no, that's ridiculous. Why would I do that? He's just fucking so dead asleep. And a fucking slob. Probably used to sleeping outside.

[B]

Yeah, that's an indicator.

[A]

Or like in a truck bed or.

[C]

At what point do you go out? Just out. You're done. We can't do this anymore.

[A]

I never had that.

[B]

He burned the place down.

[A]

I never had that gear. I was like, fine. Later on, I remember a couple things. He did cement work. His brother, I think where his brother is probably multimillionaire today. He did typewriter repair. And they lived in an apartment that's off the alley of my old apartment. And I have a couple good memories. So there was that. There's him hawking the loogie. I was building my grandma kitchen at the time, like adding a kitchen onto her house. And I needed a guy who could do cement. And he. I said, look no further than your own sofa, right, Mike? I said, mike, you're the man. And Mike came up short on the pour. And we had to go get a ton of concrete sacks or whatever. And we were, like, covered with concrete. So two good memories. One is we were. And the slab was always wavy and fucked up, and it was a mess. But anyway, at some point we went to the Golden Chopstick. Like, we'd work for like 13 hours doing this concrete, pulling the bags and doing the whole thing. Somebody went to this, like, cheap Chinese place on Laurel Canyon called, I think, Golden Chopsticks. And we pulled up in his El Camino with the door all caved in and his Ranchero, sorry. And we both had cement. Like, you'd been dipped in cement, like up into your waist and then lifted out. Our pants were all covered. We were on our knees. And the wet stuff, it's like all over us. We're both a mess, and we're both a mess anyway. And at some point, there was some, inexplicably, some hot chick. It was just sitting in front of the Golden Chopsticks. She was just standing there and, like, waiting for a boyfriend or leaving or something. And Mike was like, hey, that's a piece of ass over there. He wasn't down with the MeToo movement. And he's like.

[B]

He's a late comer.

[A]

He's like, that's a sweet piece of ass right there. And I said, yes, good looking lady. And he's like, let's go. Let's go chat her up, man. And look at our best. I was like, look at us. Look at our car. Look at everything. And I said, like, well, I think my grand. I think we need to get back and, you know, pick up the food and then just get back and trial the cement before it sets off or kicks off or whatever it was. And he just looked at me. He was confused. He looked at me. He goes, don't you want any pussy? Yeah, I do. I thought there's a 2% chance out of 2 billion. Yes, I do, but not.

[D]

No.

[A]

I've weighed our odds. They're not good.

[B]

Maybe Gillette was right.

[A]

I don't want any pussy. So toxic.

[C]

I like his confidence, though.

[B]

I was gonna say, I want that guy on my team.

[A]

The greatest combination is his brother who did the typewriter repair. And they used to just fight and argue and argue and fight and all that. His brother sort of reminded me of. If you ever watch, I think it's Bonnie and Clyde, they had that side. They had their, like, side guy, like their. Yes man. He was a little funny character actor. Spoke in a weird voice. And you'd seen him. You've seen him on a million things, like, from the 70s and 80s. He was, like, a weird side guy. He was everyone's sidekick. Leslie Jordan in these movies. I don't know what. I can't think of the actor's name. But anyway, his brother's a weird little guy. And at a certain point, we were just there all night. And at a certain point, my grandpa, my mom, my grandpa and my step. My dad, my mom, my step grandpa. My grandma, like, brought out, like, food and stuff. Like, sit down. And my grandma pulled some wine out. She poured Mike a glass of white wine, and Mike just shot it. She poured him, like, a big pour of white wine, but he just shot it down, you know, tried to run it, like, put it down, like, yeah, more wine. And his brother kind of did the same thing. And then his brother, we were sitting outside on the patio, and his brother, like, excused himself. We're eating outside on, like, an outside table on the patio. To walk across this little area and this ivy wall. Turned his back and started taking a leap. And Mike started yelling at his brother, like, hey, what do you, like? He would call my grandma and my grandpa old man, old woman. Like he didn't know their name. Like, hey, old man, old woman. More wine, More woman. And then at certain point, his brother goes and takes a piss. He's like 18ft away from us, but he goes back to us. He's like, against the ivy. And Mike's like, hey, what the fuck? In front of the old man, in front of the old woman, and his brother's taking a piss. And his brother's excuse is, I went over here, which is not to say I didn't piss all over the casserole at the table. I got up, excused myself, walked over here and took a piss.

[C]

Did these people raise themselves?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Were they ever inside a home?

[A]

I don't know how it worked. I don't know how it worked, but I met a lot of those guys off that alley, man.

[B]

The actor, I think you're Thinking of is Michael J. Pollard. He actually was nominated for an Oscar for Bonnie and Clyde. And in popular culture, Michael J. Fox, whose real middle name is apparently Andrew, adopted the J for Michael J. Pollard. And like, in tribute to.

[C]

Huh?

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Oh, you're thinking of the same guy. He was nominated for Oscar.

[C]

Yeah. This guy. He was in a ton of stuff. You're right.

[A]

Yeah. He's got a little funny, turned up nose.

[C]

He was in Scrooge, all kinds of things.

[A]

And if you see him in. If you see him in Bonnie and Clyde, he's like. He's kind of. He's got ticks and he's kind of weird and he's a little sidekicky and you think something's wrong with him, but you're not sure if something's wrong with him.

[B]

Tango and Cash.

[C]

I was just gonna say that. How do you not remember this?

[A]

Yeah. So he did a ton of stuff, but that's what this guy's brother was like. Kind of like, he kind of would go like, is there something wrong with him or is he okay. Except for you're asking a guy who there's something wrong with if there's something wrong with his brother. Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Michael J. Pollard.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Michael J. Fox. Middle name, not J. Wow.

[A]

Wait, what is the connection to Pollard?

[B]

Michael J. Fox, so admired, apparently. I'm reading this off of Wikipedia just now. Instead of going by Michael Andrew Fox or whatever, he went by Michael J. Fox, sort of as a tribute to him. To him? Yeah.

[D]

Weird.

[C]

Is he Canadian?

[A]

Isn't Michael J. Fox's wife's last name Pollard? Oh, Tracy Pollan.

[B]

Pollan.

[A]

Her last name is Paulin.

[B]

Yeah. P O L L A N. Oh. Funny coincidence.

[A]

Damn it. Close. Hey, Jill. Yes? You want to pull my balls up on stage in Connecticut? Douche.

[C]

I'm in.

[A]

You're in. So you're out in Connecticut.

[B]

What are your ball drawing qualifications?

[A]

How far are you from the casino?

[C]

Probably just under an hour.

[A]

Okay. Okay. And is it true? God, we gotta get dialed in this time. There's no signs outside the casino on the highway or anything, is there?

[C]

It's in the middle of nowhere.

[A]

It is really outstretched. It is really?

[E]

Yeah, it just raises up like the

[C]

Emerald City out of nowhere. It's very bizarre.

[A]

And what are your. So you live. It's so. It's really out in the sticks. It's beautiful, but it's sticksie. Are you in a stixy town?

[C]

No, I'm not a stixy kind of gal. So I live more toward the center of the state, more toward Hartford.

[A]

And where is. Oh, God, where did Newman. There's Lime Rock and then. God, where does Sharp shop? And Newman lived out there too.

[B]

This is part of the interview, Jill.

[A]

Yeah. Trying to think of.

[C]

I'm failing. I Google it, if you can.

[A]

Failing. I'm sorry.

[B]

You're not going to get under pressure, I'll tell you that much.

[A]

Yeah, I'll think of where that was. I'm curious how far away. I have no idea where you are in relation to all that stuff. The good news is is we always drive from one place to the next place. Like we'll drive into Boston and Mike will always tell you, I'm sure he's full of shit, what that's going on there and what's going on in Hartford and what's happening over here. And that's a. Oh, that's a big textile town. You know, just point at something. Yeah, but. Yeah, I don't know how he knows.

[B]

No local's ever gonna call him on it.

[A]

No one's gonna call him. Yeah, there is. Well, a local.

[B]

No one in the car.

[A]

So, Jill, what do you do for a living?

[C]

So I work at espn.

[A]

Oh, Danbury. That's where. That's where Newman is.

[E]

Yes. They have a wonderful mall there, in case you're interested.

[C]

Maybe it.

[A]

So there's a picture of you and I together. From where? Boston. Where?

[C]

What's that?

[A]

We're looking at a picture of us together.

[C]

We were actually in a small town,

[E]

like near New York. New Jersey.

[A]

I did a stand up show there.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

All right. So you, you say you work for espn?

[E]

I do, yes.

[A]

What do you do for espn?

[C]

So I worked in our television production department for quite some time. And then I recently made the transition into recruiting and learning and development.

[E]

So I train a lot of our employees here.

[A]

Is Bristol still the big home campus?

[C]

It is, and it just keeps growing. We basically own all of Bristol at this point.

[A]

Cause what was in Bristol before ESPN got there?

[C]

Zip.

[B]

Not much.

[C]

I understand Aaron Hernandez.

[E]

No, basically, yes.

[A]

Aaron Hernandez from Bristol.

[C]

Bookmark that. I have a lot to tell you about Aaron Hernandez.

[A]

Oh, boy, I hope he's gay.

[C]

Bookmark all of this.

[A]

All right. So you go into the big campus every day?

[C]

I do.

[A]

Is it.

[B]

Do you.

[A]

Is that a blessing or a curse? Like, I think some of the guys, some of the folks who work for ESPN go, God, we're trapped in Bristol. And then others go, it's the best thing that ever happened. Gotta. I used to live in Van Nuys. Sucked.

[C]

It's actually, it's a nice area. There's some really great surrounding areas. And you know what, to be honest

[E]

with you, we work here 24 7,

[C]

so we never get out anyway, so

[A]

who would even know? What if you met two people? You tell me. There's two guys and they've opened up a new barber and styling shop there. A hairdresser.

[B]

In Bristol.

[A]

In Bristol. In Bristol. And one of them says the two shops across the street from each other. One shop says, I do Donald Trump's hair. The other shop does Chris Berman's hair. Which shop do you. Where do you go Pick your poison?

[C]

I mean, brand loyalty. It's gotta be Berman.

[A]

Gotta go. Chris Berman.

[B]

It's a company lady. I like that.

[A]

All right, so you're gonna come out and you are gonna be my ball girl up there on stage.

[E]

Yes. Super excited.

[A]

And are you. What other connections? I'm, I'm. I have vague recollections. I had a conversation about you and is it. Are you married to Shaap or who or what am I.

[C]

What am I only Right.

[A]

Yeah. No. So I.

[C]

My husband is Shap's producer.

[A]

Oh, he's Shap's producer.

[C]

Yes, Sha's producer. We're very close. So we're actually double dating to go

[E]

to your show at Foxwood.

[D]

Oh, good.

[A]

All right, so we will see you there.

[B]

Developing a new show called Shat Flaps.

[A]

Yeah. What's that call again? Here it comes. Hold on. Here we go. You can still try out people for Boston Jap Flaps. You can tweet us or email us your [e-mail]. hey, thanks, Jill. We'll see you up on stage at the eight on the eighth, Fox Woods. Looking forward to it. Thanks, sweetheart. Appreciate it.

[C]

Yes, I have things to tell you.

[A]

Aaron Hernandez.

[C]

Yes, Jack Flaps. Aaron Hernandez related.

[A]

All right, well, is it for news

[B]

or is it just.

[A]

No. Well, is he here? Maybe A.J. benz, I feel like is gonna want to.

[C]

Oh, he might have some extra info to offer.

[A]

Yeah. Let me tell you quick about Lowe's new home for Craftsman tools, including their new V20 cordless power tool lineup. One battery system works on multiple products. 2, 4, 6 and 8 tool combo kits available, all with the 2amp high capacity lithium battery that works with all tools in their V20 lineup. Runtime, you need the power you deserve. Craftsman has always made great hand tools and mechanics tools and now they make great cordless tools. I got the V20 Max brushless drill. They have the impact driver. Go online and check that stuff out. It's really Strong. Max. The Max hammer drill is well proudly made in the USA Global Materials in Charlotte, North Carolina. For the latest Craftsman product and updates visit Lowe's.com Adam that's Lowe's.com MLOWS new home of craftsmen. All right, let's take a quick break. A lot of Aaron Hernandez all I'll just say all star tight end. You know, playing for the Patriots, nobody had more upside. Few had more upside than Aaron Hernandez in the league. Tom Brady's your quarterback, Bill Belichick's your coach.

[B]

And playing for the premier team or

[A]

playing around, you're, I don't know, 22, 23 years old and you're. You're a great player. Destroys it all with his sort of gang banging lifestyle, but hangs himself in

[C]

prison and just I've been doing sort of a deep dive. And I'll tell you where you can do it too. And it is crazy.

[A]

Okay, I got that. And then I took a deep dive on Johnny Mathis.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

Same thing.

[A]

We'll see who outdoes who in our deep dive comp. Max and Pata, you find we'll get the Johnny Mathis.

[C]

Yeah, he was a customer it when I worked in rodeo.

[A]

Johnny mas released one of the two Christmas albums I grew up with.

[B]

Oh, yeah, his Christmas time.

[A]

We're taking a Johnny Mathis deep dive and an Aaron Hernandez deep dive. A lot of range. Right after this, it's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[E]

Oh, my God, Ace.

[D]

What a rush.

[E]

I just took a left turn on a double red arrow in a major intersection. My heart started racing. I don't know why, but it was like, it was like the most epic thing to do. And everyone in the intersection was staring

[A]

at me like, what is he doing?

[E]

But I did it. I took the left turn. No cops. Kept going. Saved like a minute and a half of my commute because that arrow takes forever. Oh, my God. My heart is racing. Like my fingers are tingling because I broke a traffic law.

[A]

But damn it, it felt good.

[E]

Hero.

[A]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Love it. And love AJ Benza. Famous A bitch. That's the podcast every Monday, Wednesday and Friday on Apple Podcasts. You can sign up for Patreon and get podcasts every day breaking all the scandals and tragedies of Hollywood. Also coming up, super bowl at the Hooters in Burbank. Out there with my beautiful wife. Lynette will be there pouring the mangrian the cocktails and the girls all be There. So enjoy that. Aj, what's. What's going on? What do you know about Aaron Hernandez?

[D]

I know that he probably wouldn't have played much with Gronkowski also suiting up

[G]

as a tight end.

[A]

Clark always gets hurt, though.

[D]

Yeah. No, true, true. I don't know if I believe all these new things that are coming out about the molestation, and then maybe he was gay. I just think it's a great thing to throw on top of every new story and the fact that he's not around anymore and can't speak about it. I think it makes all the more sense while we're hearing about all these new revelations.

[A]

What are the new revelations?

[C]

So, long story short, I stumbled upon this podcast called Gladiator, and it's a new. It's a sort of a docu series podcast.

[A]

It's a tutorial about performing oral on women. You have to really break it down.

[C]

I'd grab a pen.

[B]

It's a multi part series.

[A]

Glad he ate her.

[D]

It's educational, actually.

[C]

And it's put on by the Boston Globe department, the spotlight department at the Boston Globe, if that sounds familiar, which probably does. They broke huge stories. I mean, the priest molestation scandals, they are legit. And they're doing a deep dive into Aaron Hernandez. It's called Gladiator. And there, I think there's six or seven episodes. I'm on number four. I don't know anything about him. I just. I didn't hear of him until he started making headlines. So this stuff is really mind blowing. And AJ to what you said about being gay and stuff, I don't want to spoil it for anyone who wants to listen, but there is at least one man coming out saying, I think AJ would have wanted me to tell this story. You mean Aaron, I'm sorry, Aaron. I'm sorry.

[D]

The show is about me. I didn't want to get into that part.

[C]

Yeah, AJ can speak for himself. I think Aaron would have wanted me to disclose our relationship and this story and the stories they tell about this kid, the insane upbringing he had, the horrible father he had, even though his brother says, look, I love my dad to death, but here's a list of ways we were tortured.

[A]

You're worse than Big Rick. My buddy Chris's.

[C]

It's on par. And I'm just saying, for someone who's not a football fan and doesn't really know about this world, I can't stop listening to it.

[A]

Well, it's kind of my. Not Hernandez, but Menendez kind of argument. Like, if you Think it's a good idea to fucking shoot both your parents? Your parents did a shitty job of raising you. They did something horrible. Like when the Menendez brothers were like, he molested me. I'm like, I kind of buy it because you shot him in the face when they were watching Knott's Landing. Why else would you. I mean not why. Other people, they wanted the money. Lots of kids have parents who have lots of money and they don't worry about money because they fucking have lots of money.

[C]

They're already taken care of.

[A]

They act like a couple of hillbillies moved into the house and have killed the parents to get the money. Kids of rich people probably worry the least about money because they just come from money.

[D]

Lucky sperm club.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

But I saw, I was at that trial and I saw the veins popping out of the kids heads when they were talking about what they went through. And I heard they hired acting coaches to speak before they went, you know, in front of the. I don't think you can fake that or else. They're tremendous actors. The way they looked, the way their veins were popping out. To me that was real stories they were telling about abuse.

[A]

That's why I came away with so what did they. What happened there? And for Aaron Hernandez to just shoot somebody in Cold Blooded when he's at the top of his game with a multimillion dollar contract of shows, it's in the fiber of his muscle.

[C]

Well, yeah. And again, not knowing anything about him, he seemed to and incredibly aggressively immature anyway. I mean they interviewed dudes about what would go on in the locker rooms. And even these NFL dudes were like, I don't know, this guy was on a different level. We couldn't even deal with him. And then being pushed through high school, being sent to college early, and he was already the least mature person that anybody knew. And then being sifted through college and then being pushed in the NFL. This kid wasn't ready for any of this. And again, I haven't gotten to the end and don't murder people. And he seemed insane, but this kid was just, was just not. It seemed like maybe he wasn't playing with a full deck, he just kept getting pushed.

[B]

They talk about that, don't murder people.

[C]

Try not to if you can avoid it, but it's really compelling. So for anyone who already knows this story or already loves football, it's worth a listen.

[A]

There's a grow up. Never left in Bristol.

[C]

That's why when she said Bristol, I

[A]

was like, no, I know, but it's so weird. You don't picture that, like, being gang

[D]

in the shadow of ESPN again?

[C]

I don't know anything about it, but they were saying, like, it was a pretty hard knock life over there. Unless there are two bristols.

[A]

What did his dad do? I mean, to him.

[C]

The brother does a lot of the interviews. I forgot his name. I think he was three years older. And he said there are molestation allegations that no one will speak to, but a lot of physical abuse. The dad seemed completely fixated on his kids not being gay. And you're an F. And you're an F. And you're standing like one. And you're looking like. That's the word.

[D]

And a fenoid kid.

[C]

I know, I know you hate that, but. And he was kind of obsessed with it.

[A]

Speaking of football, did you hear that? Lt dropped the F bomb.

[B]

Oh, my God. Ladanian Tomlinson.

[A]

Oh, no, no, it's a Lauren Stale.

[B]

Oh. I mean, it's a different time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He said fuck.

[A]

Nice effect.

[B]

Fuck a lot, probably. I've seen the NFL films where he

[A]

says, wrong lt, wrong F word.

[B]

Okay, I'm confused.

[A]

I can't remember what happened either. Anyway, check the ticker.

[C]

Brian's a little quick with that.

[A]

We can't have two F words and we can't have two L. For love of fucking Christ.

[B]

Too much.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Let's work it out, people.

[D]

Then Lily Tomlin gets involved and I'm all fucked up. She's got a mouth on her.

[C]

That's right. So I guess the dad was just a real monster. Even though the older brother's like, I love my dad. I love him with all my heart, but he did this, he did this, he did this, he did this. And the brother said at one point they were beaten or they were being threatened so bad by the dad. The brother said, I'm gonna call the police. And the dad said, call him and I will beat you so bad after you get off the phone call. They'll have to pull me off of you when they finally kick in the door.

[D]

Very committed man.

[A]

Such a weird. It's so weird to terrorize your kids. It's such a bizarre impulse to terrorize your kids.

[B]

The molestation part, maybe you know how like. Okay, so let's say, Adam, you want Sonny to not smoke, so you give him the cigarette. You know, you're gonna smoke this cigarette and you're gonna. You know, I'm watching here while you smoke it in order to dissuade him from smoking, in order to sway, to get from being gay.

[D]

Oh, boy. Well, listen, they're gonna sit here in the closet.

[B]

The whole pack?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Whole package.

[C]

But it is very compelling. And again, you think this is sort of just, you know, hearsay, whatever. This is Spotlight from the Boston Globe. So I tend to believe they did their research.

[A]

So you'll continue?

[C]

Yeah, I'm almost done. I can't stop these.

[A]

He grew up in an insane. Look, I'm starting to think that many people just have post traumatic stress disorder. I think they have that syndrome. I think they were like, people understand the Vietnam version of it or the world War. The shell shock version.

[D]

That's a good point.

[A]

You're a kid, and you're growing up with someone who's supposed to protect you

[B]

and raise you and love you, and

[A]

you're just beating the shit out of you and are scared to death of them that can't protect you or whatever. Why wouldn't you have a disorder?

[C]

Right? And between the acronyms, between the PTSD and the cte, which they talk about, this kid had his bel. They carried him off the field, and he was there the next day.

[D]

I had a kid in high school football who hit so hard. He was the valedictorian in high school. Andy Phillips hit people so hard in football that he would cry in the huddle because that's how hard he wanted to hit. And you grow up, you find out that his dad was fucked up, and he had a bad upbringing, but, you know, he had to study a certain amount of hours. We didn't know this as kids, but at the reunion, we found out, but. Oh, that's why Andy cried in the huddle, everybody.

[A]

We.

[D]

It's fucked up what kids go through.

[A]

Yeah, it's so. It's also. I mean, look, I. I don't think of myself as a good anything, but I have kids, and.

[D]

It's a carpenter.

[A]

Oh, I'm a good carpenter. It feels weird to do anything to your kids. It feels insane. It feels insane. I. I literally. My son came home the other day, like, yesterday, and he was like, hey, Dad, I watched a couple of your videos on Prageru. Good job. And I was like, good job, buddy. And I was like. And then I went in, I said to my daughter, like, where do you want to go on a little vacation or whatever? And she's like, I want to go to Disneyland and I want to bring friends.

[B]

You back answer.

[A]

Okay. It's so. So you understand the part where it's like, nag, nag, nag, and then mom is trying to do Something on her phone, and it's like, nag, nag, nag. And then mom goes, please be quiet. I'm trying to. Like the part where you snap a little or you get on agitated or nervous or something. The part where you terrorize them. No, it's insane.

[D]

I've got that question, like, someone asked, well, how do you discipline your kids? And I just was like, I've never had to discipline my children. I give them a look across the room, and they know, like, okay, we're being too loud. That's about it. Thank God.

[A]

It just. It feels like it would go against every fiber of your being to, like, put your hands on your kids. All right, you got some stories, right, AJ?

[D]

Sure. Well, there's a lot of stuff going on. I mean, my goodness. Here's what it gets. Here's what I'm walking around with. I'm very upset about, you know, Bryan Singer. You elaborate. We all know what's going on with Singer. But what I can't stand is that all the beautiful people with the blue check marks on Twitter who sound off on Trump and everything else, why are they not speaking out about this? Why are 99% of stars, who all trashed Harvey and Les Moonviz and appropriate,

[B]

quick to jump on Kevin Spacey of the world?

[D]

Why can't they jump on this?

[B]

That's nice.

[D]

Creep.

[C]

Because he's still working, and they want.

[A]

They want to be employed.

[C]

Imagine.

[D]

Well, listen, they say he's gonna direct Red Sonja for Avi Lerner and Millennium. What woman is gonna latch onto that role? What girl is gonna take that role and be directed by Bryan? She's finished if she does.

[B]

I imagine every press junk get. What's the first question? Of course. What's the first question? How about the movie?

[A]

Well, I. You know, this town, it's very. I think no matter how popular an actor or an actress is, and no matter how much wealth they have or how much whatever they have, there is a very finite feeling in this town, and I believe Tom Cruise feels that way. What do you mean, finite? Like, the phone may stop ringing tomorrow. There may not be another gig. There's a constant. You get paid a ton of. You get all the accolades. You get everything. But there is a feeling of, like, I don't know what tomorrow's gonna be like.

[B]

Sand in the hourglass is constantly falling.

[A]

Yeah, it's constantly falling. And there's also a thing in this town where. Look. Look no further than the runaway productions. You have people just. They just lecture everyone ad nauseam about how they need to pay their fair share and about there's some have and some that haven't. You gotta pay these corporations shouldn't get tax breaks, blah, blah, blah. And then they just go to New Mexico and film all 5, 10 seasons of breaking Bad all shot in New Mexico. Drove Brian Krantz to the airport. Then Brian Krantz comes back and lectures you on why you need to raise taxes.

[D]

I know.

[A]

So, and I like Bryan Kranz, I'm saying we are a town that's capable of like going, here's this, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Kevin Spacey, hey, hey, whatever, right? And then go do the. He didn't physically go to Winnipeg. I mean, I was in a room next to Samuel L. Jackson's room. One of the biggest mouthpieces for. We gotta raise money. Gotta raise those tax money. He shot a movie in Winnipeg. He shot a movie in Winnipeg in the middle of the winter because they were shooting it because they were saving tax money. So we can do like this town, we want money. We never. It's weird. Like, there's a weird thing about money. We have a weird thing about being rich, about whatever. But if you think about it, Hollywood is probably less. I've never really drilled down on it this way, but there's a small group of people that are super talented artists who are just Sacha, Baron Cohen, I guess, or, I don't know, Seth MacFarren or something. Everyone else is just super fucking greedy. Like super crazy greedy. Like producers, directors, the people, big industry, the big Disney and Pixar. And like everyone's a huge cash machine. And now you have to kind of pick and choose. Like, all right, we go to New Mexico and shoot all seven seasons of Breaking Bad. That's a no brainer, right? That's a no fucking brainer. We're save so much money, we're going over there, we go to Winnipeg, we'll shoot this other movie. Fine. That's a no brainer. Now who do we attack? Yeah, like, who do we get on Twitter and attack? Because we may make some money, we may lose some money depending on. And I may work again or I may not work again. Sort of depending on if we finesse.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and then once in a while a guy like Matt Damon makes some outrageous statement like, yeah, like whatever Al Franken's doing is not as bad as. And he gets fucked.

[D]

Destroyed.

[A]

So now he gets fucked up. So now he. Now everyone's like, oh boy, everyone's on high alert now. He'd be Careful. Yeah, that seemed pretty sensible to me. But he got fucked up, pretty good shit.

[D]

I was talking to an actress today, I'm not gonna mention her name because that's the way they want it. Ton of work, great actress. And she knew Brad Renfro, the kid who committed, who overdosed at 25 years old, who worked with Joel Schumacher on the client at 10 years old. And then obviously with Apt pupil with Ian McKellen. Bryan Singer fucked up. He was fucked up. She was around with him and she said this kid was so fucked up on the set of the movie, they were doing track marks on his arm, completely out of his mind, screaming Heil Hitler. At a movie theater away from the set. They called the doctor in. Doctor pumped him up with Valium, gave him a bottle of methadone like it was fucking trick or treat and left. So the kid, you know that like it's all about the profit, the movie and she's afraid to say these stories and she's had them for how many years? She's petrified. Cuz she's in her 40s, late 40s. And is she gonna work again if she says this?

[B]

But that's the other thing. You gotta remove that stigma. Cause how many other kids, actors are gonna, or people or lives you're gonna save or affect, right?

[A]

And how many. I mean, all you need to do is look through all those famous stories about, oh, Tom Selleck was supposed to be Indiana Jones and so and so and so and so the original James Bond was supposed to be Agnes Moorhead, but she passed on it because she got Bewitched, right? But it just keeps going and going and going and it lets you know that do they really need you? Like, do they, I don't care who you are and whoever you are, there's five men and four women who they really need and other than that, they'll move on without you. They'll discover the latest whoever.

[B]

Yeah, tangentially related to Bryan Singer. I know you have a list of stories, but something, something you brought up a while ago and it came into my mind only because he's in the news a lot now. Wasn't there something up with Rami Malek? You mentioned, you mentioned him a while ago. What's the first time I heard that name was before the movie came out. And now he's like, you know, winning awards and such.

[C]

Household name.

[D]

I just think, nothing wrong with Rami Malek except that I think that he has a responsibility. Having worked on the Bohemian Rhapsody film, you know, Bryan Singer was promoting it like crazy on his Instagram. Suddenly his Instagram has been turned off. He's not. All those videos of the makings of the movie are gone. I think 20th Century Fox said, we don't need that. Please, thank you, but no thank you. You don't know. But I think the people who made that movie need. They're not mentioning him in the awards and the thank yous, but they still need to say something. Steven Spielberg, Bryan Singer's company is named after a line in Jaws because he revealed, you know, Spielberg is everything to him. Spielberg, he knows this. Why can't Spielberg make a comment about just something as simple as I condemn it? We can't have it. Nobody's fucking saying anything. And again, it's 99% of the business is not saying a word. Alyssa Milano, who sounds off on a squirrel fucking crossing the street, she can't say something. It makes me sick, aj.

[A]

Better than that. Makes me sick. I love it. Hey, quick question, aj, you know about the acting world?

[D]

Sure. Well, I'm working in a constant.

[A]

You know, when you're playing, like, they'll tell you, like you're gonna play a Mafiosa type, you gotta hang out with the. With the Goodfellas, you know, the Mafiosa guys. And if you're doing a copy thing, you got to do some ride alongs, really go for a deep dive. When you're playing a gay guy.

[D]

Well, listen.

[A]

And you're straight, you go to the Abbey. Yeah, I don't think it's gay, by the way. If you're working on a. You know, if you're tuning up for a role, it's worth it. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

It's rehearsal.

[A]

I'm just asking.

[D]

No, well, listen, you gotta. I did play myself a couple. A couple. I played. I played a. A gay guy.

[A]

Wait, I wanted. A while back, we had. Oh, God, I think. Oh, Ernest. Ernest T. Bigot was my character. I'm just asking. Yeah, I'm just asking.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Isn't.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

They say making a football move, it isn't being born black. A football move. I'm just asking. I'm just asking. Don't shoot the message. It's like.

[D]

I'm just saying. Your mom's kind of a. I'm just saying, bro. No, I'm just saying.

[B]

I'm wandering off someone else.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Ernest Bigot. I'm just asking. That's going to be the name. My next stand up special.

[D]

Just asking.

[B]

It's your catchphrase.

[A]

Hey, I'm Just asking. It's perfect. All right, let me tell. What does asking teach your next story? So I'm just saying, if you're a straight guy and you're, you know, getting yourself coached up to play a gay role, you gotta suck a guy off. I'm just asking. I'm just asking.

[D]

Yeah, it's all about the research. Listen, I had to rape Steve Gutenberg in a little independent film. I did a little research on that, talked to a few guys at the Abbey.

[A]

Went, it's just fucking.

[D]

Listen.

[B]

Is that insulting you? Okay, Bars, like, what's it like to rape a dude?

[D]

I think they would know more than you know.

[A]

Well, you should go to a prison. I don't know.

[D]

That's true. I didn't have the kind of time that I needed.

[A]

To prison. Wait, you raped Gutenberg in a movie?

[D]

I was. I played a character where I. It was called P.S. you Cat is dead. And I played a guy that was gay, but he was like, crazy. He'd rather fight you than fuck you than fight you. He's that kind of homosexual. Just a crazy guy. And I said to Steve, well, it was a rape scene. There was no nudity, but I went at him to rape him. And there was a kiss scene. And I had to audition. And I'm across with Gutenberg. And I finally, at one point, I said, fuck it, I'm gonna kiss him. So I went. We kept going back and forth ed living. And I got up from the chair and I just gave him a big old fucking queer kiss.

[C]

Wow, you're higher.

[F]

Look at that.

[A]

I worked out.

[D]

I did two a days. I was putting up 275 in the gym. I put a wig on my head, I pierced my nipples.

[A]

I went all out. Or looking at it. It's awesome. Went all out.

[C]

Ray Liotta doesn't look so good.

[D]

It wasn't Ray, but that's okay.

[A]

You know Goodberg, this is Macbeth.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Listen, I think there was no awards for this movie, but it's actually a fun movie.

[A]

Gutenberg may be gay because he did do Dancing with the.

[D]

Wait a minute.

[A]

Was the year I did it. Now I might be gay. Damn it. Should have thought about that.

[B]

I'm just asking.

[A]

I'm just asking. Ernest Bigots. Just ask. Hey, Vern. Hey, Earn. Ernest D. Bigot. All right, let me tell you about the mvmt. With Valentine's Day coming up, MVMT knows what to get. That special sewing perfectly curated Valentine's Day gift boxes that are stylists at mvmt. Hand picked, man. We have their watches. We all wear their watches out here. They're beautiful. I always wear them when I'm up on stage because they're pretty and I like to keep track of the time. Don't give the cliche chocolate or roses. They don't last. The MVMT have introduced jewelry to their collection as well. And everything starts at just 95 bucks and it's stuff that goes for 400 to 500 bucks. Same quality at a department store. Sold almost 2 million watches in 160 countries and you get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns. @mvmt.com you can check out their expanding collection. Stuff's all good, it all works and it's all beautiful. Join the [e-mail] movement. Get the 15% off. All right, let's take ourselves a quickie break and we'll come back. I'll tell you about Johnny Mathis. We'll see if he may be even more interesting than Aaron Hernandez. And we'll do that. We'll do the news with AJ as well. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Mr. Corolla, Paxton, your favorite Wildland firefighter comedian. I just got busted, taken to left on red by one of those intersection cameras and I'm not paying it. Fuck em. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Good heroes shouldn't have to pay for going through arrows. That's good.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I like that. By the way, just said a funny Dylan I hate soccer note. Dylan loves soccer. I'm convinced because he knows I hate soccer.

[B]

But either way he never brought it

[A]

up before I worked it. He loves soccer. And I said to him, oh, you're watching your soccer game. Well, it's over and I'm going. What was the exciting score? Two and a half to two and a half. A tie. And he hung his head and he went. It was two. Two.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

It was as close to. I know mathematically possible. The joke that I'm making fun of, why you don't need to is how

[D]

his game, how many lovely balls and great crosses. It comes down to that.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

It takes a lot of skill and so does archery. But I don't want to watch it. Johnny Mathis.

[D]

Chances are.

[B]

Can I jump in real quick? Only because I reminded a favorite movie of ours starring Steve Gutenberg. Diner. There's a scene. I sent it to Chris throw it up here where they discuss. This was the discussion apparently back in 1993.

[A]

Johnny Mathis better Frank Sinatra. Sinatra versus Dan Mathis. I know.

[B]

Apparently, this was a debate back in 1955.

[A]

Oh, God, I forgot about that.

[D]

Tremendous movie.

[A]

Tremendous. And compare Mathis to Sinatra. There's no way.

[F]

No way.

[D]

There are totally different leagues, Eddie.

[A]

They're both great singers. You know, the thing about Sinatra, he's

[B]

good, but he's kind of thin.

[A]

I don't like that.

[F]

Yeah, but you can't compare them.

[G]

Sinatra is the Lord, all right? He's big in movies. He's picking nightclubs.

[B]

Skip that.

[A]

Let me ask another question.

[D]

All right.

[B]

We cut out of it, but it happened.

[A]

Let's go on for hours, Johnny. So we were in Vegas a few weeks back, and I was, like, looking at some hotel and I was like. I remember when my buddy Philip the Juggler opened for Johnny Mathis years ago, I went out to visit him in Vegas. And Johnny Mathis, when you meet him in real life, had a little Michael Jackson in him before. Michael Jackson, very soft, very feminine.

[D]

Very light grace sideburn kind of thing.

[A]

A very wavy kind of look. But the prince of an angel and a little feminine. And there was always rumors he was gay, but it was. But the back was like Liberace. A confirmed bachelor. Look out, ladies. Confirmed bachelor. But listen, ladies. No, you can try.

[C]

Good luck, ladies.

[A]

Yeah, there's a lot of. There's a lot of that. But. So I said, Johnny Mathis. So how many records? So let's all be blown away by Johnny Mathis. Johnny Mathis is what?

[B]

All right, so Brian might. The only one who might know this is Brian, because Johnny Mathew Mathis, star athlete in high school.

[A]

How many records has Johnny Mathis sold,

[B]

including the Christmas albums? It's got to be in the. 50 million.

[D]

I was going to say 80 million.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Max, Pat is looking. Because that would have never.

[D]

And I'll tell you right now that

[B]

I think when you said records, I meant. I thought you meant the records that we're about to talk about.

[A]

CD.

[D]

Sorry, sorry.

[B]

350 million. I said 50 million.

[A]

All right, so he's lowballing, the guy. He sold 300. 350 million records. Now, forget about that part. Let's talk about the athletic part.

[D]

I think he was a track. I think he was on the track team in some capacity.

[B]

Triple jump.

[D]

Okay. Yeah, I think it was a jumper.

[B]

High jumper.

[D]

Come on.

[B]

Played on the basketball team. He got an athletic scholarship point.

[A]

You were in the fucking hall when he brought it up.

[D]

I swear to God.

[A]

You asked if that was Aaron Hernandez.

[D]

Oh, that's right. But I wasn't thinking about that. You're right. My biggest bed.

[A]

I'll be more impressed next time.

[D]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Let me tell you something, Yuri Geller. You bend that spoon with your mind. I'm just. Yuri. Listen, Yuri.

[D]

Forgetting about.

[A]

If you bend my spoon with your mind. I'm impressed. Okay, you go out to the car and get your own spoon. I'm less impressed.

[B]

I was literally reading these facts off to Adam outside.

[A]

It was Mexican.

[D]

No, I wasn't putting two and two together. My bad. You're right.

[A]

I'm not that impressed. All right, go ahead.

[B]

Anyway, so athletic scholarship in college. While there, sets the high jump record.

[A]

High jump?

[B]

Yeah, for the hallway out there. Six feet five and a half inches. Which is still one of the college's top jump heights.

[A]

That's Johnny Mathis. He's a sort of. Doesn't seem like a big or athletic guy when you see him in real life. He's sort of diminutive, sort of soft handshake and everything.

[B]

It was only 2 inches short of the Olympic record at the time. Damn.

[D]

And that's when they did the rollover. The bar, not the Fosbury flop.

[B]

And where was the.

[F]

This.

[B]

This is San Francisco State.

[D]

San Francisco State, sure.

[B]

Him and Bill Russell are actually featured in San Francisco Chronicle demonstrating their high jumping skills. Russell number one and Johnny number two in the city of San Francisco at the time. He wants to come up to his navel. Wow. During one meet, Johnny. During one meet, Johnny actually beat Russell's high jump attempt that day. And he is often referred to as the best all around athlete to come out of the San Francisco Bay Area.

[A]

Get the fuck out of here.

[B]

Tom Brady would like a word with you. Mathis. Oh, he was supposed to try out for the Olympic team in Australia in 56. But he had to choose between that or going to New York to record. Took his father's advice to New York and to sing.

[A]

Who knew Johnny Mathis was a crazy athlete?

[D]

Wow.

[C]

Decorated.

[A]

Insane, right?

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I had no idea. All right. There's my Johnny Mathis moment.

[D]

I can't believe I know one song. Chances are I'm done.

[A]

Because you were Christmas. Sure.

[D]

But I mean like original song. Chances Are I'm done. That's it.

[A]

All right. I want to thank Tommy John. Go to tommyjohn.com am truecar, truecar.com and Geico as well. All right, let's do some news, shall we? Gina Grad.

[C]

Let's do it.

[D]

Terrific.

[A]

Give me the news with grad. News with Gina Grad.

[D]

Breaking viral. All Those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina Grad.

[A]

Trouble in the Middle east, celebrity drunk meltdown.

[D]

See News with Gina, Gina.

[A]

The news with Gina Grad.

[C]

Well, some really sort of horrific news that just people are talking about today. Empire star Jussie Smollett was brutally beaten in Chicago by two men in ski masks Monday night in what appears to have been a homophobic and racist attack, according to tmz. And you hear that and you're like, yeah, right. What'd they do? Well, they have very, very good evidence to support that. So sources say the 36 year old, openly gay actor walked out of a Subway sandwich place around 2am when the two men approached him.

[A]

Oh, by the way, we got to get rid of the subway. The F word. Lt, like walked out of the subways. Like, you don't be riding that subway that late at night. I want a hokey. Yeah, you didn't see that movie, the Warriors.

[D]

Warriors.

[A]

What are we doing carrying a sandwich when you're on a train? It. Yeah.

[C]

So they beat him up, then reportedly tied a rope around his neck and poured bleach on him. Witnesses say they ran off yelling, this is MAGA country. And remember, this is Chicago. This is bizarre.

[B]

Definitely not MAGA country.

[C]

No, it's not. Smollett was taken to the hospital, treated for a fractured rib. He was discharged Tuesday morning. Chicago police are investigating the attack. They're treating as a possible hate crime.

[A]

How do you know who he is? Like Empire. I know, but you have to like, follow him or something. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Like, are these guys just the luckiest racist on earth? Like, oh, there are no celebrities.

[A]

I like to think of myself the luckiest racist on earth. Two beautiful white children, beautiful white neighbors, living wife drives a beautiful white son of a bitch test. You know what I mean?

[B]

Trimming my head just with a scissors.

[D]

She's got it all.

[C]

So there's something that was going on before this. So meanwhile, this letter was sent to Fox studios in Chicago. And TMZ sources say the letter was sent eight days ago. It's addressed to him. It looks like, I don't know, a three year old wrote it. And it's a bad picture of somebody shooting him in the head. And it, in cutout letters, it says, you, the.

[A]

You will die, the black fag.

[C]

Yeah. So somebody.

[B]

Wait, Gina, what does it say?

[C]

Nope. So somebody is targeting this poor guy,

[D]

clearly in English, put him in the hospital. Talking about a black cigarette. Here's what I'm going to say up front. Right away. I hate to even say this because I hate that I have this feeling, but I don't think it's real. I think it's set up. I think that's bullshit. I think the fact that they had bleach on them in Chicago, hoping that some black guy would walk in, they do this and have a rope. There's something about this that stinks. It's too perfect.

[C]

Now, aj, I will. I will speak to that saying. When I read this headline and I was reading, I was like, this just doesn't add up. We're going to find out tomorrow. Something.

[D]

Something is awesome.

[C]

It's so bizarre and it's so horrific. I thought the same thing. What are we gonna find out that hopefully contradicts this? Cause it's horrific.

[A]

Is the bleach a sort of white skin, black skin thing?

[B]

Or is that just like symbolic of,

[D]

you know, I don't think he has dirty clothes. Ordinarily symbolic of turning clothes.

[C]

It's crazy.

[A]

Featured in a movie, by the way, turning people white.

[D]

See Thomas Howell.

[A]

I've only Soul Man. I've only brought it up.

[C]

Ray Doncho.

[A]

I only bring it up nine times a week. But you find that scene from Billy Jack and they go into the ice cream parlor and they dump the sack of flour on that little Amy girl,

[D]

Stymie and Buckwheat in the clothes washing machine.

[C]

That was just good clean fun back then.

[D]

Wow. Listen.

[A]

Yeah, so here's my take. I can never say something is a hoax because it's horrific and it may. May definitely be true. I'll say that we've had a lot of hoaxes. And the problem with a lot of hoaxes is it brings into question when real things happen. You go, oh, now is this real? Is this cooked up again? Is this morning. So you created a. With the swastika in the bathroom of the air airport written backwards. So we've had a lot of that. So now we all have to go, hmm, not sure which sucks.

[C]

Which sucks for this poor guy too.

[A]

But if you think about it, statistically, we live in a world where it's like, oh, it's so racist. We're homophobic, we're racist, we're homophobic. And then the big stories come out and then we get a little peek behind the curtain. It turns out there was a lot more going on and it wasn't what it just go back to presented at. But there's gotta be some. And maybe this is it.

[D]

Just go back to the march with the Indian and the Covington High school kids and the whole thing, it was film from a certain angle, blah, blah, blah. There's too much. There's too much of this story.

[A]

That's perfect.

[D]

That's the perfect racist thing. The bleach, the rope. I don't buy all of it. And because we just went through this other bullshit story. I need time. I need time.

[A]

AJ Needs time.

[C]

AJ needs time.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Oh, you know what story randomly popped in my head the other day that was similar in the sense here. My first instant, all of our first instinct was this horseshit ended up being true. Apparently. Apparently the London kid, either Jason or Jeremy London, the one who was kidnapped and, like, forced to do drugs. Like, the whole thing was like, oh, sure, you're.

[A]

Yeah, some guy's forced to do drugs in Palm Springs.

[B]

Where?

[A]

I don't remember Palm Springs.

[B]

It was Jeremy or Jason London.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And he violated his parole. And, like, it was like, oh, they forced me to do drugs. Sure, buddy. Sure they did. The guys were caught.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy. When Morton Downey Jr. Did the. Was Junior or is it just Morgan Downey?

[D]

Is it Junior? Yeah. Morton Downey Jr. Yeah.

[A]

Is it Robert Downey?

[C]

It's both. Literally, just watching Sierra D. Downey, like,

[A]

pulled himself into the bathroom at o', Hare, tore his shirt collar, threw himself on the ground, and then took a Sharpie, a ballpoint pen, and drew a swastika on his forehead. The second we found out he did that to himself, we should have had him killed. As a society, we're like, listen, you have no place. That's a special circumstances sort of crime. I know you didn't take a life. We cannot have you walking amongst us anymore.

[D]

You ruined everything.

[A]

You're the worst person ever, and you shouldn't even want to be alive. Actually, if you would do this to yourself.

[D]

It's the opposite of the boy who cried wolf, kind of. It's like you did everything that we're afraid of, and now we can't believe the real people.

[A]

That is a crazy story. But I think I have him. I have an all star lineup of television smokers from my childhood, and he's on my Mount Rushmore. Guys who smoked while they. And you know, the thing was always funny about guys who smoke. Like, you'd see John Lennon do it. Like, all these guys, they'd sit down, they do an interview with Dick Cavett, and they'd have a lit cigarette, and they'd be holding the lit cigarette and they'd be going, like, I'm gonna take a draw off It. And they'd be like, where'd you meet Yoko? And they'd put the thing back out of the guy and go, well, we met in Liverpool, whatever. And you guys all met at what, 15, 16? And they'd start to move the cigarettes around. They go, well, Paul was.

[D]

Was.

[A]

Ringo was. They don't even get to smoke. You can't be interviewed and properly smoke. So now you're just up there stinking up the place with your cigarette. The ash is 12 inches long and Dick Cavett's answering. He's got a question chambered. You can never get it into your mouth. Right. It was pure affectation.

[D]

But you remember, like, how awkward it was to see Johnny Carson come back from break and steal a quick.

[A]

Yeah. Oh my God.

[D]

He smoked like you saw your friends the next day. Keith Fernandez and the Mets dugout was smoking in the 86 playoffs.

[A]

I love it.

[D]

Unbelievable.

[A]

What's too bad that guy was molested by his dad. All right, let's keep going. Do you have that scene?

[B]

I died from High school?

[A]

Keith Hernandez, best guy in the Bay Area.

[D]

Aaron less than Keith Hernandez. It's. He had a lot of time.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I only know Keith Hernandez because of Seinfeld.

[A]

Keith's when he was nine. His nickname was Just for Men. Hernandez.

[C]

Grecian formula.

[A]

Yeah. All right. Sorry, where were we?

[C]

Are we waiting for something?

[A]

Oh, I'm just trying to find that stupid scene. All right, so we'll find out more about what happened in this case.

[C]

Yeah, Terrible story.

[A]

Terrible.

[C]

So Monday night it was reported that a list of Grammy winners was leaked on social media. Now listen up betters, because here's what we know. Yeah. Hackers from Russia supposedly got backdoor access to Grammys website and posted the 2019 results for access.

[A]

Wait a minute. Thank you. Love that movie.

[C]

So according to. According to the posts, Grammy awards will go to the following people. Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Travis Scott, Cardi B, Zed With Marin Morris, Chris Stapleton, Cole Swindell, Childish Gambino, and Best New Artist, Chloe and Halle. However, a spokesperson for the Recording Academy issued a categorical denial. They said there's no legitimate legitimity.

[D]

Legitimacy.

[C]

I can't. I'm going home.

[A]

Legitimacy to this.

[C]

Grammy Awards results are not shared even with Recording Academy staff members until the day of the Grammy Awards.

[D]

That's a lie.

[C]

They're threatening legal action against the Housewife. What do you know, aj?

[D]

I know that the Oscars are shared and the Grammys are shared. I had an acting teacher named. Remember Carrie Snodgrass, the actress who did Diary of a Mad Housewife? She won the Golden Globe. She was up for the Oscar, but she hated Hollywood, so they said Charlton Heston was the SAG leader. He goes, carrie, you gotta come to the Oscars. You know, if you come, it's gonna mean you'll get the award. And she was with Neil. She was with Diamond.

[G]

What's his name?

[C]

Lou Diamond Phillips.

[D]

No, no, no. The rock and roll.

[C]

Neil Diamond.

[D]

Neil Diamond. Not the Sweet Caroline Neil Diamond.

[A]

What other Neil Diamond?

[D]

You know what I mean? Neil Young. Neil Young. Neil Young, Okay? Neil Young was anti Hollywood. He goes, you're not going to the awards. And Charlton Heston flew in with a helicopter to their compound and said, if you don't go, you don't win. She goes, I'm not going. And she didn't win. So she told me she was my acting coach, and she was adamant that when he dies, I'm going to tell everybody that this. Everybody knows. But she died first.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[D]

So they know I was going to win.

[C]

You're getting. You're getting vengeance for her right now.

[D]

Goddamn right.

[C]

Yeah, we'll see. I don't know. Place your bets. Don't place your bets.

[B]

All the sports books have taken.

[A]

All right, you're living in British Bristol, Right. And there are three hairstylists that are gonna open a shop. There's third. There's Donald Trump over here. There's Chris Berman's place is across the street. And then Neil Young's guy's gonna open a shop just across the way. Where do you go? Oh, my God.

[D]

I mean, you're killing me.

[C]

I don't think Neil Young's guy works very hard.

[B]

I was gonna say, I.

[D]

Probably.

[B]

Cobwebs.

[D]

I'd probably go to Berman.

[B]

Barbara, full stop turning.

[D]

Probably go Berman. Berman's a little stronger.

[A]

Do you have the Billy Jack scene? Maxapata. They took the little Indian kids in to eat some ice cream.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

And this first mistake.

[D]

Very barren. Ice cream shop.

[A]

Yeah. All right, so no headdress, no moccasins, no service. Here we go. This is. I don't know why, but it's kind of reminiscent of the time we're living in now, though. It was like 1972.

[D]

I love it.

[A]

Generic rock and roll music what? What do you kids want? We're an ice cream.

[D]

$0.30 for an egg salad. I'd like to buy some ice cream cones, please. He's illegal.

[A]

Sorry, I'm all out of cones.

[C]

You just threw the kids ahead of us.

[A]

Look, I told you, I'm all out of combs. Here comes the townies.

[D]

Now you're now just can't leave.

[A]

You're a smart little punk, aren't you?

[D]

Hold it.

[A]

Come on, you guys.

[D]

There's no need, brother.

[A]

It's a simple problem. I think he's more Richard Gears hard to own your own store. And you feel you should have a right to serve whoever you want to, Right? Right. Okay. What? Why? Little miss Up Yours here feels if, if she wants you to serve. By the way, she's hot. I give her free. I like I would provide the cone.

[C]

So is the Coachella chick.

[A]

Hey, Dinosaur, bring me some of that flour over there. What's wrong with this guy's mouth, by the way? Half the people are white girls.

[D]

12 years old.

[A]

There's only one Indian kid.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Simple solution is simply to make myself a yours non white friends white.

[D]

This guy never worked.

[G]

Oh my.

[A]

Dumping the flower on him.

[B]

Eric, Ben is right.

[A]

What's the matter, boy? You can let the women do your fighting.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Billy Jack's gonna write this wrong. Let me tell you something. Being like the town, all right, you can be in the town. Race racist.

[D]

Oh my God.

[B]

It's hard, right?

[A]

You're leaving money on the table. Like you're walking. It's like, I, I. You can't work because of your schedule. Like your racist schedule. Like, what if some kids are. What if Indian kids are eating? There's the Baskin Robbins and I'm at my desk. I gotta get up and walk across the street.

[D]

I want to get home at 5, but I don't know what's gonna happen.

[A]

You have to really have to confront strangers all day and like, pull out a switchblade and yell, come on, come on.

[B]

You know the old saying, if you look around, you can't identify the town ranger racist.

[A]

I'm just saying I feel like the town racist wife would go like, come on now. Yeah, we gotta. We've got a mortgage over here. We got a car payment.

[B]

Molly, you know I'm the town racer.

[A]

By the way. It's not like you get a stipend for being the town, right? It's non profit. And there's that money flows one way out. And by the way, you got to work weekends and holidays like there is.

[D]

Especially holidays.

[A]

Especially.

[D]

What did this guy do after this movie? I need to know his career. Bernard Richard, brother. I need to know what this guy's done.

[A]

Well, his name was Bernard. And although I think Billy Jack called him Bernard or Bernard or something, they never knew how to pronounce his name correctly in the movie. And at some point he got in his 427 vet and Billy Jack made him drive it into the race. Like, he's like, I'll either kick your ass or you drive your new rich white guy car into that river.

[D]

Well, this like. I think De Niro took this scene and turned it into. Now you can't leave with the locked door in the bar with the motorcycle guys. It's very reminiscent of that we have

[A]

now we have John Lennon on Dick Cavett waving around a cigarette. Does he ever take a hit off it?

[F]

No.

[B]

So the entire time you see him light it.

[D]

Cause he's on heroin, that's why.

[B]

Then he's just talking, waving it around. And we don't really know what happens because it goes to break.

[D]

He's on. He's on junk here.

[A]

He lights. He lights the cigarette before coming. And I couldn't about it.

[D]

So I just see he's using matches.

[A]

I like these using matches.

[D]

Matches is heroin. Lighters aren't heroin.

[B]

So he's on with Yoko.

[A]

Visit me an all over bag or just over your head?

[D]

All over.

[C]

Where's missono and all that and.

[A]

Oh yes, well, it's you, is it? And he was pretty calm about it because she's smoking too, but she's talking so she can't smoke. And then John just lit it up. I think their thing is like, look, we don't enjoy cigarettes, but we enjoy secondhand smoke. And the whole front row is going to walk out here smelling like an ashtray.

[C]

Brian, you can confirm this, this clip we're watching right now. This is the clip they use for Forest Gump, is it not?

[A]

It looks like it, yeah, it is.

[B]

It appears so.

[A]

1971, I'll bet you the segment producer said, said John will sit closest to Dick Cavett and then Yoko. Well, we'll leave a seat open for Elijah. And then Yoko. And then Jon probably went, no, Yoko sit there. And then poor Dick Cavett's gotta like talk across her the whole time. All right, sorry. He never takes a draw. He's just waving it around.

[D]

I had a buddy who was a junkie tell me that junkies always light cigarettes with matches. Never light.

[A]

Well, it's got to be true.

[D]

It's. There it is.

[A]

The more, you know, they always, you know. I had a bi friend of mine tell me that bi guys always put dress socks on, starting with the right sock.

[D]

Thank God I go left first. Okay, good.

[A]

That's how you know. So if you're ever In a gym and you see a guy getting dressed and he puts that dress sock on the right guy's by.

[D]

He's by.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

We're learning a lot today. Covering a lot of ground.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All right. Well, TMZ reports that Conor McGregor and Khabib Nurmagomedoff, I think I said that correctly, are effectively suspended for their roles in the UFC 229 post fight brawl. So Connor was hit with a $50,000 fine and he'll be eligible. Yep, he'll be eligible to fight again on April 6. Khabib suspension's a little different. He was hit with a $500,000 fine and a nine month susp. But he will have the ability to get a three month reduction if he makes an anti bullying video.

[A]

Well, hold on a second.

[B]

Gary, who you got in the rematch?

[A]

Namurgamadoff. Namur. Madoff. Okay. Conor gets vanquished, and he's sitting there on his butt, like on the canvas, kind of leaning against the fence, kind of dazed and confused. And Khabib. Khabib, Khabib.

[D]

It.

[A]

Kabib. But he does it like a Habib. Whatever. He starts screaming and spits on him. Then he goes over the fence. Then he starts fighting with the Russian troll. Then other guys jump in the ring and start throwing punches at McGregor. I'm not sure why MacGregor's getting fine. I mean, at a certain point he was trying to fight back and he's whatever.

[D]

But bad things about the Russian guys,

[A]

you get choked out and then you're sitting there and a bunch of guys jump in the ring and try to kill you. I don't know what your part is, is. It's probably Gary, because from the dolly

[D]

throw, Conor said thing. Yeah. Yes. But Conor said things about their organized crime, possible connection, and that really pissed them off.

[A]

Yeah. Gary, There was also when Khabib went

[B]

over the fence, a few members of Khabib's team went over the fence the

[A]

other way from the audience into the

[B]

octagon and came at Conor aggressively. And before they had a chance, Conor threw the first punch and hit one of them.

[A]

So they're saying he threw the first

[C]

punch at a civilian.

[A]

I'm sorry, when. When guys who are wearing tap out T shirts go over the top railing, land in the rain, and you know, they're from this guy's camp and some what, two. Two of them spar with him or one's his judo coach or something, and they come running at you. You don't ask what they. What their business is. You do throw the first punch, then more. That's neither here nor there. Right.

[B]

Well, and then who's in the wrong?

[D]

Namurga, Madoff, then also aj.

[C]

I don't remember if this is the guy you were talking about, but I wanted to bring it up just in case. Khabib's cousin, he's an MMA fighter who was also involved in the brawl. He received a one year suspension and a $25,000.

[A]

It is.

[D]

That's the guy. I brought the story to you guys. The other story that's going on with Conor that's making the rounds is that on December 10, he was brought in by cops in Ireland and questioned about a rape and a nightmare club. There are people who think it's not true. There are people I talk to in news organizations in Ireland who says it is true. He was questioned and then released. We're still waiting to find out if it's true or not.

[A]

You know, it strikes me that all these guys. And I don't know where Khabib is from, but there's these guys. It's like, remember how pork was the new white meat?

[C]

Sure.

[A]

These guys from Ukraine are like the new white meat. Like, we used to have Dwayne Bobbitt and a bunch of big Randall, Tex Cobb and stuff, like guys from like Oklahoma and stuff.

[C]

Now it's the Baltic guys.

[A]

Now the white guys are the Baltic guys because they grew up wrestling bears and sleeping on the floor and walking through seven feet of snow and stuff. Like, they just. They're the new. Like, why'd he not into getting his head bashed in?

[D]

It's not even about black neighborhoods in America. It's about Russian horrifying neighborhoods where you eat like a loaf of someone, eat someone's shoe heel for a week and you.

[C]

Right.

[D]

It's like the worst underprivileged poor people in Russia.

[A]

Right. But the guys, again, the guys who will always be the fighters will just be the poor people. You know, back Jews used to fight Italians.

[D]

Johnny Math, Irish fighter, He was quite a fighter.

[C]

What's his heritage? Johnny Mathis. I don't think Mathis is his real last name.

[A]

Oh, he.

[D]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

He's. Oh, God, we looked it up.

[D]

Trinidadian.

[A]

No, he may. He may be like Caribbean or something. He's got some Hispanic and some black Hispanic in him.

[D]

I'm gonna go Trinidadian.

[B]

Something weird. Brazilian and Spanish.

[C]

Interesting. Is Mathis his real last name?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Interesting.

[D]

Really?

[A]

That's a weird one for a Brazilian Spanish guy.

[D]

Must be shortened.

[A]

All right.

[D]

From Hernandez.

[A]

Let me tell you about Tommy John. I'm wearing mine now. If you're a big valentine, Valentine's surprise is going to the supermarket for some roses or the drugstore for some chocolate. Rethink it, man. Valentine's day gifts can be great. With Tommy John redefining comfort for men and women with luxurious soft, feather light moisture wicking underwear that moves with you. No pinching, no bunching, no riding up. Look, you will not go back. You won't go back. I can't tell you. I'm wearing mine right now. And there's a couple of brands out there that are sort of knockoffs of Tommy John. And even the stuff that's close is no cigar. I don't put my cigar in those. Still looking for a great gift, you try their limited edition loungewear and their underwear as well, including matching his and hers sets. Last year, the limited edition stuff sold out in less than a week. So don't wait. It's the best pair you'll ever wear or it's free. Guarantee, no adjustment needed. It's Tommy John, right? Dawson shop limited edition valentine Wednesday gift sets and get 20 off your first [e-mail] Adam that's tommyjohn.com Adam for 20 off [e-mail] Tommyjohn.com He's a big golfer too.

[C]

Do you know that he's had nine holes in one? Johnny Mathis. He's had a lot of holes and there's. Thank you. Several Johnny Mathis golf tournaments all over the place.

[A]

And he's like a great golfer too.

[C]

Johnny Mathis invitational track and field meet. Wow.

[D]

Feel me. He invited a lot of guys over.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

All right. Well, we are. We are in the thick of betting season, so we'll just keep on that track. Millions of people are planning to bet a little something on the Super Bowl 53. But truly committed gamblers. Brian, they're wagering on the halftime show. So odds makers. Odds makers are laying lines about all sorts of things, but the most popular right now.

[B]

Suck. Minus 800 exactly.

[C]

Is what song they're going to play first. As of now, here are the odds. One more night. Three to one makes me wonder. Three to one and animals. Five to one and don't want to know and girls like you both. Six to one. There are also bets on whether Adam Levine will wear a hat, whether he'll take a knee in support of the players during the anthem, and whether he or anyone else will fall during the performance.

[A]

Wait a minute. Need to be out there during the anthem, right? Like who?

[B]

The anthem?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

No, no, not Anthem.

[C]

That's what it says. Anthem in support of the play. If he. Whether he will take a knee in support of players. No, he'll take a knee during the anthem. Why would he be at some other point? Who knows?

[B]

I think someone who doesn't know what they're talking about wrote that story.

[D]

Exactly.

[C]

I didn't write it.

[A]

Mathis says he's taking two knees this year. An extra support.

[B]

Oh, is it. What's your face?

[C]

It's from Sporting News.

[B]

No, the. The anthem is Gladys Knight or something.

[D]

Well, you know what they did initially? They said, hey, we got Maroon 5. And I think I was here, and I said, where are all the black stars from Atlanta? Why are they not saying singing? And then they've added, like, eight black stars from Atlanta, including Gladys Knight. And I don't know. I forget who else is singing. Who's black from Atlanta?

[A]

But that is a weird story. Where would he be during. He'd be tuning up, and then he's on the way there. Yeah.

[C]

Although if you really wanted to do your thing, you'd. Would he come out and take a knee just to show both.

[B]

Someone got that wrong.

[D]

That's weird.

[B]

It's not your fault. Someone wrote that.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I don't feel the blame.

[B]

He might take a knee. I mean, the prop bet is probably, will he take a knee during his performance? That's right. It's absurd to think he'd be the one.

[D]

That's even ridiculous.

[A]

What's happening? What's the. It's over. Under, like, 54 and a half or 55.

[B]

Great question. Actually.

[D]

Patriots three and a half, and I think it's 56. The over. Under. I'll take Pats and under I like.

[A]

Well, my feeling is if it's three and a half, I take the Rams. Because the Pats will just win in dramatic, whatever, three points by two or three points at the end and break everyone's heart. But at least you'll have the bet. All right, what else?

[C]

Well, if you missed Black Panther in theaters last year, you'll have another chance to see it, and it won't cost you anything. A day after the movie won at the SAG Awards for best ensemble in a motion picture, Disney announced that Black Panther will return to the movie theaters in celebration of Black History Month. Last year's highest grossing movie will screen for free at 250 participating AMC theaters from February 1st to February 7th.

[D]

For free.

[C]

Yeah. And then they're gonna donate a million and a Half dollars to the United Negro College Fund.

[A]

Disney. I have a little note on my screen that Ernest Bigot is going down to the Inglewood Magic Johnson Theater for the midnight screening. And he's going to do a little Q A afterwards.

[B]

This may not go as I planned.

[A]

Well, he's going on unescorted and he'll walk alone to his fan when. When he's done. So just a little heads up.

[D]

I think it's a wonderful thing to do.

[A]

Let's.

[B]

How can they use the word Negro and nendor color?

[A]

I can't.

[B]

I'm just asking.

[A]

I'm just asking.

[B]

It's the national association for Advancement of Colored People. Why can't I say colored? Why does asking.

[A]

How's that black lady getting to the lab? Just asking. And where was her cleaning stuff? Just asking and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Ernest Bigot wants to know.

[C]

Yeah, I like to see.

[D]

He's like my new science guy. He's the new science guy. I want to hear him do everything. Yeah, I just asked him.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Get away with murder.

[A]

So that'll be the Inglewood Magic Johnson Theater, midnight showing. Just following the first terrific free showing.

[B]

Good luck.

[A]

Every Friday and Saturday.

[D]

And he has nobody with him. He just goes alone.

[A]

Well, he walks out to the car alone. He goes with somebody, but they don't. Yeah, they walk. They take separate paths.

[D]

Right.

[A]

And he goes back.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. I think he's a brave individual.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

We're gonna find out.

[A]

He just wants to know. Sorry.

[C]

Well, AJ Curious if you have anything on Tori Spelling, because I.

[D]

Her. Is that. Okay. Can I say that 1991 news is over.

[A]

Back to age 12.

[D]

Yeah. No, she wasn't actually. And I thought she was Alyssa Milano, so that tells you what I was like that night.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[D]

It's a true story.

[B]

You thought Tori Spelling was Alyssa Milano.

[D]

I was at the China Club in New York and I thought she was.

[A]

Alyssa got worse for Tori Spelling.

[D]

Well, Alyssa Milano was quite a looker.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Tori. What? On the pay grade? Not pay grade. On the looks grade. You know, she wasn't quite approaching where we're looking at her now. I'm talking 91, 92.

[C]

Wasn't she at the height of her power?

[D]

Pretty much. Me, too, apparently, yeah.

[A]

Wow, that's a feather in your cap.

[D]

Not really.

[A]

No.

[D]

No, it's a story.

[C]

It's not even worth me reading the story. It's nowhere near as God.

[D]

Listen, so let's. It might. It might get me feeling nostalgia. What do you get?

[A]

Do you just not Want the feather so Bernard doesn't dump the sack of flour on your head? Or is it really not a feather in your.

[D]

I haven't counted it as a feather ever. But I couldn't. I couldn't resist saying it. I'm here.

[A]

You guys hooked up in the. In the height. In the height of 90210.

[D]

You tell me it was 90? Well, she was. People knew her, so I guess it was.

[B]

Oh, 91. Yes. Was prime time.

[D]

I wasn't watching it, but I knew, like, oh, that's somebody that I should know. I thought I was Alyssa Milano and I just. I erred. Okay.

[A]

But you had a good night.

[D]

Well, it finished the right way. The morning the sun came up and I saw her on a morning show and I realized, wait a minute, I didn't fuck Alyssa Milano. I fucked Tori Spelling. Hey, we're all here. We're all.

[A]

We've all been there.

[C]

We're all adults.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

Well, in much less exciting news about Tori, she knows how you feel if you're dealing with some big credit card debt. Spelling just received a court order forcing her to pay 88 grand to American Express that she owes. The credit card company sued the actress three years ago for failing to pay months and months of bills. It's still waiting for her to pay. So AMEX got a court order forcing her to cough it up. And then, so Spelling and her husband, Dean McDermott, They've had very highly publicized financial problems apparently, over the years. And she was sued by Citibank to pay 400 grand.

[A]

Sorry for.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Okay. Sorry. So Aaron Spelling. Aaron Hernandez Spelling, I love that guy. That guy lived across from Hefner and Holmby Hills in a famously million train that would take you to the present wrapping room. It's a crazy place, right? All right. And they sold for a kajillion dollars. And then I guess Candy Spelling went and bought like a double rise, you know, Wilshire townhouse for a billion dollars.

[C]

Like Brentwood, I think, like, yeah, like

[A]

off of Wilshire, whatever. There. There's a whole corridor of, like, super high rise, super expensive. Kind of as close as we get to Manhattan out here in terms of that kind of real estate. There's a. There's jillions of dollars that were generated by Aaron smelling. What is she seeing? None of it.

[C]

Wasn't there a big dispute between Candy and Tory for the money?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Is Candy alive?

[A]

I think she is.

[D]

Yes, she is. And I heard that every time Dean and Tori have a child, that's when Candy kicks in and gives Them money. That's what I think. I've read that. I don't know that firsthand. I've read that sort of story because they're overextended and Candy helps them when she's pregnant.

[A]

So who's got a better relationship? Angelina Jolie and Jon Voight or Candy?

[D]

I think Jon Voight thinks he does. I think he makes people think that they're getting along great. And Angelina probably hasn't really said anything worthwhile to him in probably 15 years. I think they're very hard people to figure out.

[A]

Aaron spelling was worth 600 million at his death. And then they sold the house, you know, but did he leave it all

[C]

to Candy to divvy up?

[B]

Yeah, well, I looking at like those, just the celebrity net worth things. So Aaron Spelling was 600. Candy Spelling is now 600 million. Tory Spelling is now 500,000. So I don't know.

[D]

In the red? Yeah. Makes more sense.

[C]

No, 480 in the red.

[A]

So I guess she's not, hey, you know, whether the Menendez brothers or one of the Spellings try to keep things cool with the rich parents, you'll be happy down the road. You won't be in jail. You won't.

[D]

But that's a story like, you know, we were talking about. How do you discipline your kids? Can you put your hand on a kid? What he did is just like almost worse just to not even acknowledge that you have it. Like, just not giving them any, not giving her anything of his fortune to just look away from his daughter. What could she have done to him?

[A]

Well, he gave her, you know, I don't think she was a great thespian. He gave her a role in the series. You know, that's worth something.

[D]

But that's what. Dad, I would do the same thing for my daughter.

[C]

She was on Hotel.

[A]

I just did the math. That means AJ Would bang his daughter.

[D]

No, no, no.

[A]

Alyssa Milano. Which would be a good thing to say to the cops when they're pulling you out of a room. Wait a minute.

[D]

I'm saying, honey, Daddy created a show. There's a spot for you. Who wouldn't do that? Yeah, no, you wouldn't do that.

[A]

No, I, I, I mean, come on,

[D]

something, an ensemble show.

[A]

Yeah, no, I get it. And then no one could act, and who cares? And they gave. But I'm thinking about, would you give your daughter $50 million if I had 600? Yes, you would. But don't you think if she was 29 and you died and gave her $50 million, she just fuck it all up.

[D]

Like, I guess you're right. But I couldn't leave them with. I couldn't leave it with nothing.

[A]

No. I think I would need some sort of plan where you get a, you know, $3,000 a month, provided you're working and sober, whatever it is.

[C]

And that's what it sounds like. Like maybe Candy's doing. He. Maybe it said they will if there's. We will take care of the kids, but we're not taking care of Tori and Dean.

[D]

Why? A lot?

[C]

I don't know. I'm guessing.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So.

[B]

So Tori inherited $800,000, along with her brother, who inherited a hundred thousand dollars. Candy inherited the rest, and she set up a $10 million trust fund for Tori's eldest child.

[C]

There it is.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Am I in there? I'm not in there at all.

[A]

I banged Dean McDermott once. I thought it was Brian Austin Green. Humiliated the next morning. One time. It happens. It happens. All right, Let me tell you about TrueCar. 60 seconds. That's as long as this commercial is going to last. You know what else you can do in a minute? You can get an offer on your car. You just go to TrueCar, use your smartphone or your computer. Computer. Enter your license plate number and watch your car's details pop up. Answer a few easy questions. Get an accurate True cash offer from a local TrueCar certified dealer. Then bring your car in. They'll check it out with you together. Ask questions, get answers, no surprises. Then you can either leave with a check or you can trade in your car on a new or used car. So when you're going new or you're going used, and you want to trade your car in, or you want to just walk out of there with a check, you always go TrueCar for better buying and selling experience. Check it out. TrueCar today. True Car, baby. All right, Gina, one more.

[C]

Well, yeah, I wouldn't end with this one normally, but you Never know what AJ's gonna have on who. So. You know what? What? I'm just gonna give you the name, and if you don't have anything, we'll move on. I'm dying to know what you got on Roger Stone, America's villain.

[D]

Roger Stone. I know Roger Stone. Many years ago, when I was dating Kara Young, who ended up dating Donald Trump, I came to LA in 97. I had a TV show on the E Channel called. My tagline was Fame is a bitch. And I kept getting letters in the mail. Fame is a bitch and so is Your ex girlfriend, cuz she's fucking Donald Trump. And I go, who's sending me these? I got about 50 of them. Roger Stone was doing that.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Amazing.

[D]

I knew he'd have something out of his mind. And he's gonna turn on Trump.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And this is a very big situation going on.

[C]

You think he's gonna turn on Trump? They seem like ironclad.

[D]

I know 20 years ago, somebody begged him not to turn on Trump. He's gonna turn on him now.

[B]

I watched the. So in the last year, Netflix has been saying, would you be interested in the Roger Stone documentary? I was like, nah, I kind of get the idea. And then his name's in the news. Like it. I'm watching the Roger Stone documentary now. Your first instinct might be, yeah, but you know, it's a. You got a figure who's making the. Roger Stone is the subject, the willing participant and star of this documentary. It is as though he produced and directed it. It's not a fluff piece, but he is a willing.

[D]

He's in every scene, right.

[B]

Talking about himself.

[D]

Here's the headline already. Because one day he'll turn. The headline will be Rolling Stone.

[A]

That's good.

[D]

From my news background, I heard he

[A]

has a giant tattoo of Richard Nixon,

[C]

like right in between his shoulder blades.

[D]

Dress like Mr. Monopoly. He truly hangs out with gay guys and does the whole gay thing.

[A]

Let me tell you something too. His crazy, crazy dyed hair, bleached hair. Oh my God. It's fine. As long as you have money. As long as you're out of prison.

[D]

Look at this.

[A]

But if you do weird hair colors and then you go to prison, your hair immediately gets up. Yes, that's.

[C]

That's true. That'll be the real problem.

[D]

And you know, he, he's the. He had these swinger parties with his.

[C]

That's what I was going to ask you about.

[D]

No fatties. Did you see that? They had a special request?

[C]

He did. Allegedly paid guys to have sex with his wife. African American gentleman.

[B]

He posted explicit ads.

[D]

How's that? He had Johnny Mathis, his wife. And he watched.

[A]

Okay, listen, it's crazy, you know, it's like, although Johnny Mathis may not be black, I think he's Hispanic.

[B]

It's like the senator who like, you know, is a little too anti gay, turns out to be what, a shotgun.

[D]

Like the Godfather.

[B]

Larger stone for a guy who loves to call people cuck as a cuckold love.

[A]

But these are Trump.

[D]

These are Trump's friends. Like how creepy. They're so obsessed with Him, Michael Cohen, Roger Stone, so obsessed with Trump. And Cohen turned. And he's gonna turn. That's the big turn.

[C]

And they turn harder.

[D]

Big turn.

[C]

Trump turns harder.

[D]

I knew in 1991 when I was a newspaper guy. Don't trust this guy. He's bad news, he's crazy, and he's dangerous. How many years later is it he's still at it?

[C]

Well, I was listening to something on the radio, and they were talking about how, I don't know what the source was, but that Roger Stone has been grooming Donald Trump to be president for 30 years. Thank you. He used to take out weird ads in the paper about it and really started putting that bug in his ear years ago, and everybody laughed at him. And he said, I know what I'm doing. Watch this.

[D]

Well, he's kind of a clairvoyant.

[C]

Yeah. Or a puppet master.

[D]

Yes. But he is a crazy fucking guy. Be careful with him.

[B]

See the doc, everyone.

[A]

Careful.

[B]

It's very compelling.

[C]

Anyway, he was a rain Tuesday morning. We'll leave it at that.

[D]

No fatties.

[C]

Hashtag.

[A]

Well, if someone would invent my welcome mat scale, we could avoid the embarrassing confrontation.

[B]

It disables the ring doorbell as soon as it's.

[A]

Every once in a while there's a little confusion because you're like, saying, your wife. How come my bowling ball hasn't arrived? I ordered months ago, and it's like, oh, the guy must have been holding it while she was.

[B]

Your wife's outside holding groceries. I've been ringing the doorbell for hours.

[A]

You got to set it down on the stove.

[C]

Right.

[A]

You know, Come on, will you please

[D]

come into my door?

[C]

What do people need to put on their dating. Online dating profile? Because I always get it wrong, and it's my favorite thing.

[D]

This is good. The.

[C]

The. The women need to be on a scale with the newspaper with the current date.

[D]

What? What is it?

[C]

Oh, the men need to be next

[A]

to one of the Men need to stand next to the door. The 7 11. And the women need to be on a. On a certified. I want Dana White in the picture holding a current USA Today with the weight.

[D]

Why 7 11?

[C]

Because it has the measuring thing right by the door and like a copy of their bank statement.

[D]

Yeah, that's good.

[C]

That's fair.

[D]

Let's. Yeah.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Well, I gotta say, Roger Stone's tattoo of Nixon is a little disappointing because I've heard. Has a giant.

[D]

Right?

[A]

It's giant. Well, you gotta hear. If you hear giant 2500 times and you never see it, you should Cover the whole. It's the size of a saucer. It's not. It should be a trap.

[C]

I was praying it was a transition.

[A]

I'm thinking. I was thinking, like, when guys come into the ring and they have the wings on the back.

[D]

Brock Lesnar.

[A]

Yeah. I got Giant. I got Giant. All right. Sorry.

[D]

He works out back. You could tell. He does back.

[C]

Yeah, he sure does.

[D]

He does. Lats and shit.

[A]

All right, here we go. Bring it home.

[C]

Should we bring it home? We'll do it right now. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news. This is MAGA Country.

[A]

Gina.

[D]

Gina.

[A]

That was the news with Gina Grad. Ah. So you can go to amcarolla.com and find out about bald Bryant's socks flying off the shelf. You can watch Road Hard for free at Tubi. That's T U b I t v dot com. Our party. Our 10th anniversary party at the Peterson is looking like it's selling out, so. So. But you can still go. The car show will be there with Leno during the day, and I think we'll have some tickets to the movie as well. Uppity. So come on out for that. I think that's on the 10th. Corolla drinks, having a Super bowl party. Burbank Hooters, everyone. AJ's gonna be there. Lynette's gonna be there. Mangria girl's gonna be there pouring the Mangria cocktails. So go say hi to all our loved ones over there. AJ Benza. Fame is a bitch. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday on Apple Podcast. Podcast. You can also sign up for his Patreon and get podcasts every day. Read the column every week in Star magazine. Say hi to our friend Laura Ingram on her podcast at Podcast one. And until next time, Sam Crawford, AJ Benza, and Gina Grad, Mo Bryan Saint. Mahalo.

[C]

Well, aj, curious if you have anything on Tori Spelling, because I.

[B]

All right, this is adam cole show 2498.

[A]

Coming up next, we have adam cole

[B]

show 2504, with the great mark, paul

[D]

gosler, Dr. Drew, jordan harbinger, gina grad,

[A]

and brian bishop from 2019. Good day, Gina Grad.

[C]

Good day to you.

[A]

Handball. Brian. I should have married Elton John, the

[C]

one that got away.

[A]

Headspace.com, want to thank them for this half of the show? Adam Intuit. And go to intuit.com legal zoom, and lifelock. A couple of thoughts. One is, oh, boy, was I angry. I was.

[B]

The sun rose.

[A]

Yes, they said, Kate Beckinsale is always someone I've always Quietly had the hots for.

[B]

Super sexy.

[A]

Super, super, super sexy. Super sexy. Smoking hot, super sexy. And what. I tell you what's gonna happen. The whole goddamn Pete Davidson thing. Cause you nutty broads, it's so perfect. It's so. He's all teeth and elbows. He's the. They leave a space above him in the rankings, at least funny on Saturday Night Live in case somebody comes on, a new cast member comes on and they have a spot to slide sluggish him in. Oh, now he's linked with Kate Beckinsale. I told you. Didn't I tell you how this was gonna work? Everyone is like, oh, we feel so bad for Pete Davidson. Oh, Pete Davidson. Oh, he's suicidal. I said, no, no, no. Here's how women work.

[B]

Jump off a bridge and land on Kate Beckinsale.

[A]

They don't go by your own merit. They go by how much. There's a ratio. How much you pout. Who did you bang before me? That's how they. All decisions are made.

[B]

You establish your market value.

[A]

Oh, what is he, in the pouting department? Oh, he's suic. Okay. Who is he banging before me? Ariana Grande. Panties drop.

[C]

I can fix him.

[A]

I knew it. I knew. I said it. I said it on this very pod. I said this was gonna happen.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Isn't she almost double his age?

[A]

No, not. Well, she's older.

[B]

She's in her 40s.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And he is 26.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

So that's what I'm getting.

[A]

Yeah, she's in her 40s, but God damn, she looks amazing. Of course.

[C]

Is she less hot to you now that you know this?

[B]

No.

[A]

Somehow.

[B]

Somehow better.

[A]

I don't know. I don't know. I just. Why does it have to. How does it. Can we base life on something? You know what I mean? Like. Yeah.

[C]

It's not a huge request.

[A]

It's close. He's 26, she's 45. So it's not. I wasn't far off at all, but. Jesus Christ, I knew it. I knew it. My. My worst suspicions have come true.

[B]

Yeah. And you wish you wished a new existence.

[C]

Yeah, that. That Ariana. What Ariana Grande did for him, ultimately, was the biggest gift that anyone.

[A]

She raises cock stock.

[C]

Yeah. Cock stock.

[A]

It's through the roof so high. It's through the jeans.

[C]

He's in the black.

[A]

It's on the bell buckle. I knew it. I knew it. I know. This is just how it works. I still don't know what he does, and I don't even dislike. I just Know, I've watched SNL religiously, and his thing is kind of making fun of how bad he is, which is not. It's cute, but at a certain point, I don't know. Would Dana Carvey be one of your favorites if he just made fun of how bad. Of how he shouldn't be on the show?

[B]

No.

[A]

Yes. Feel that way. Phil Hartman. Oh, if only he'd just gone out

[C]

there and broke a few more times.

[B]

Lost himself.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. So, anyway, I hope you're proud of your. Your race or your creed or whatever that is for your gender.

[C]

My gender.

[A]

This is what they do. What's kid. She has. No, she didn't even know who he was four and a half months ago or three and a half weeks ago. There's no way. Kate Beckinsale's like, I'm a Pete Davidson fan from way back. Oh, remember his first season way back in 2000? 20, 16 and a half.

[B]

She thought he was in One Direction.

[A]

No. I guarantee she didn't even know. Why should she know? He was. He was the least recognizable guy from

[B]

SNL on an American TV show.

[C]

He's a wounded bird who dated your favorite artist. What else do you want?

[A]

So sad.

[B]

Good afternoon.

[A]

This is what you guys do. This is what you do.

[B]

You spoke it into existence, man. You shouldn't have said anything.

[C]

Yeah, it's your fault.

[A]

I wanted to get out ahead of it. They knew what was coming. I wanted to be on record.

[B]

You're like me with my backyard. What I don't want is for you guys to be working the day before it.

[A]

Does his party be that being.

[B]

Don't say.

[A]

Listen, being a homeowner is the exact same as being a dad, which is. You go, here's what I don't want to happen. And then it's just. Somebody heard it as he said he wanted it to happen this way. I statically heard the universe. I want you working.

[B]

Up until the day before the party,

[A]

I had a funny exchange. So I was. Oh, we got the drowning pool. Somebody gave me that. Somebody sent me the bodies at the tweet. Excuse me. It's a long story, but it's actually serendipitous because my picture of Paul Newman came in of him hanging himself out of a car at Summit Point in West Virginia, which is kind of interesting because then we're going to get in there. Virginia governor story.

[C]

Has he ever looked uncool?

[A]

No.

[C]

I mean, that's a candid.

[A]

Yeah. Paul's just hanging out of a 200sx, which. Which I own which is one of his B sedan cars. And he looks like he's got a bunch of mud schmutz on his shoes. And I think he's. Because I've done this before. He's probably changing them into his racing shoes inside of his car. So it's not to track the mud and the goo inside the car. I bet he's got a guy to help him take the shoes back to the shoe wrangler. Yeah, back to the trailer. But anyway he was black and white picture of him sitting in my car. So I figured I should have it somebody sent to. And then somebody sent me a drowning pool.

[B]

Oh God.

[A]

Clip which is a movie I haven't seen. Is that. Oh, look at the band. Oh that. Oh, sorry. Sorry.

[B]

The drowning pool of my krock short career. That's really cool.

[A]

I. I hate ghoul rock and I hate attitude rock. And it's always. It's always in. It's always in place of something else. Like talent. Yeah. You know like you never see Ben Folds do anything. You wouldn't even know if you saw Ben Folds anywhere. You'd have no idea what he does because he doesn't have. Oh my God.

[B]

Recreation of 2002 hi Kroc. You want to hear the song again? Great.

[A]

But you know the one good thing about life is Ben Folds is playing somewhere tonight and these guys aren't. It does it is the great sorter. Eventually Pete Davidson's not going to get top shelf pussy. Eventually. Eventually it will get sorted. It will get. He'll have a hell of a run but it will get sorted out. The universe always sorts out balances. Especially the. The artists.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

They. They really get sort. The comedians. Especially the comedians and the music makers. They get sorted eventually. Takes a while. 1974. Paul and Melanie Griffith is in this as well with Joanne Woodward. They're still alive and no one's heard anything from for many years now.

[C]

Is she reclusive?

[A]

Oh my God. I mean I made a movie about her husband. I have never exchanged an email with her.

[B]

Feels like she would. She should.

[A]

Or anyone one would in the Newman family. All right. So somebody sent me this because it's from 1975 and it's about the seatbelt chime going nuts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The whole.

[B]

This is the opening scene. It's all about the seatbelt chime.

[A]

I had. There's some sort of weight. Must be the sensor in the seat. Once it gets to over 40 pounds, the thing goes on. Once in a while. Phil likes to ride shotgun like he Gets in the back of the car, and then he goes, hey, I'm coming up front. And he comes up front, and he. And he just sits down, like, just next to me. Just sits next to me. And then I just put the seatbelt on over him or sometimes behind him or sometimes in front of him. Like, I'm like, well, all right, put the belt on. But you cannot drive the car with him sitting there because of the chime. Thus the reason we don't need the click it or ticket. But this is 1975. I've never seen this scene, so go ahead and we'll play it for you. New Orleans International Airport. Paul Newman gets into a car, dress, a seatbelt, his suitcase in the back. Remember. Remember traveling with something. You know, businessman.

[C]

How else do you travel in your juicy sweatpants?

[A]

What's his.

[B]

Looking around like, what gives?

[C]

Seat belts hooked down, hanging out of the door. Can't pull it.

[A]

Stuck. Just gonna wind it back in and then unwind it. All right, here's the point. The point is, it's 1975. This was a joke in 1975. It's 2019. We don't need the sign. It's dumb. Just put anything on there. All right, I got into some tweets over the week because this whole Virginia governor guy, Ralph Northam, and Ralph Northam found his. I guess his college yearbook or his medical school yearbook, and picture of one guy's in blackface, and the other guy's in a Klan outfit, and it's on his page.

[B]

Which would you rather be?

[A]

Well, it's kind of tough. I would say the guy leaning against the 69 vet would probably be.

[B]

Probably the guy you want on.

[A]

So he. He's at a party. There's a clan, and a black man. And he said, it was me. But I. I don't. I won't tell you which one. I was like, you're poison. And then. And then he. He said. And then he said later on in a news press conference, it wasn't me. And then the shaggy defense. The weird thing is, but he. I think his nickname was, like, coon man or something.

[D]

I hadn't heard that.

[A]

Oh, yes. Yes. His nick. His nickname was Coon Man. And he was like, well. Well, my real nickname was Goose, but, Yeah, I don't know if it says it in this one. And I can't even remember where it's written in there. So then he said, later on, it's not me. And then somebody said, well, how to get onto your yearbook page? Like, you took the Picture of the Corvette. You rebelled. Whatever you spoke.

[C]

Yearbook page.

[A]

You put your thing.

[B]

As I've heard you submit your own pictures from the page.

[A]

He said things get complicated, you know, things get shuffled around.

[C]

Sure, that'll defense. Do you see the quote? There are more old drunks than old doctors in the world. So I think I'll have another beer. Interest pediatrics.

[A]

Well, now, here's an interesting thing. I never thought of this, but if you show me the same yearbook and you show me a picture of a guy he's got his arm around, Ted Nugent, he's showing his pickup truck, he put a lift kit on it, and in between it, there's a picture of a guy reading to kids. I'll go, oh, maybe you got the picture. Like, maybe you got the picture of his pile in your pile. Or, you know, somebody. Page 86 and page 87. Somebody. But if we're gonna work under the premise, I never really thought about this, of my picture got mixed in with someone else's picture. We need to find that picture's page and then figure out where your picture. Presumably, there's another picture of you. You're training puppies here. You're making a puppy pyramid, right? And that's five pages over. Oh, and that guy's got a big beard and he's listening to Leonard Skynyrd. And he has a. He has a belt buckle with the Confederate flag on it.

[C]

South will rise again.

[A]

He's got the Coors stamped on his thing, like, okay, get that flaming cross.

[C]

Now it all makes sense.

[A]

I would go for that. I don't know if he can find. Now, to me, he's got to find someone else in the yearbook ready to swap with him. Like, that's gotta go.

[B]

Hey, Dave, it's Ralph.

[A]

Hey, Dave, you're an alcoholic roofer. How bad is this gonna hurt?

[D]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Like, take one for the team. So I'm not into this. Go back and pull everyone's yearbook out and destroy their lives.

[C]

It's on my bangs alone. I'd be destroyed.

[A]

Yes, it's not well done. I don't think it helps. I don't think this guy's a bad guy. He doesn't seem to be racist. This was obviously a joke. Joke. Everyone has, you know, the sort of thing where you go, oh, I was young, or it was a different time, or I had bad taste, or I had whatever. All young guys have horrible taste and do horrible things. People don't. They think everything's a good idea. You think it's a good idea to, like, egg an old woman's house and stuff like that? Like, you think it's a good idea to, like, break into places.

[C]

Everything's funny.

[A]

Everything. All insane, borderline criminal, racist and whatever.

[B]

Insensitive.

[A]

Everything. Everything. When you're. I don't know how old. You know, he's a little older here, but from 24. Males. Males from 13 to 25, all ideas are on the table, and they're all bad. And nobody ever says, how do you think the person who's pushing that wheelchair would feel about you coming up behind them and farting on their head? Or like, whatever it is, it's like, I'm in. I'm going. Too late.

[C]

We can't afford not to.

[A]

So we probably shouldn't be doing a lot of yearbook judging. I would say, in general, everyone is scared to death. This guy, everyone. I just picture that little kid in the cornfield. Everyone's gonna get wished out in the cornfield. And. And it's. So the apologies are the scary part to me, because they're not sincere. It's not like this has haunted him or anything like that. He made a joke. It was a Halloween party. He moved on. And now. And it was 35 years ago or whatever it is, he's not thinking about it. And then somebody unearthed it, and now he's super sorry about what he did. But is he super sorry about it, or. We obviously were talking about. And he's super sorry, and he knows it was bad. And it's this weird kind of. It's a half. Half of it is, I'm apologizing, but I'm not. It's apologizing like, Saddam Hussein has asked you to stand up in a cabinet meeting, and you're just like, all hail. He's the greatest. He's the greatest. Fearless. Yeah. It's like. It's not like there's kind of an apology where you. We've all had it with the wives, the husbands, the whomever's, where you go, look, I'm sorry. And then here's where I was coming from. But I understand. But it's not one of those. It's just, like, motivated by fear as opposed to remorse. Yeah, they don't want to go into the cornfield. No one wants to go into the cornfield. And that's what's going on. And so somebody said to me, well, and I think there's only one remedy for this, which is somebody tweeted me and said, well, hey, considering there's that picture of you as Mr. T recently unearthed. How do you not you. What do you think? What do you think about that?

[C]

Your response was, people think I'm a racist. Anyway. I didn't dress as a random black man. I dressed as Mr. T, who is black. Because I love Mr. If you find that problematic. F off.

[A]

Fuck off. That's right. People find it problematic. I this thing of like, so somebody, some woke person gets to go, it's never okay to do any version of anything at any time. And then we go, okay, well, it's never. It's never okay. That's a dumb argument to have. Dressing up as random black guy with random klan guy. Not good.

[C]

No good.

[A]

You dressing as a stereotype. Mr. T or O.J. or Dan Ross, Michael Jordan as you going is them. That's. That's a human being. Jimmy used to do Karl Malone on the radio. Then he did Karl Malone on the man show and everyone loved it. He was dressing as Carl Malone, who happens to be black, but he was going as Carl Malone. Oh, this is a big problem. Because some super woke dickhead explains to us what the rules are. And no one ever goes, I reject those rules. I'm gonna do the ultimate in non racial behavior here. I like Mr. T. I shall dress as Mr. T if I like, and that shall be my business. If Mr. T personally sees me at a party and says, hey, fool, I pity you because I'm offended, then I'll go, okay, I'll go to another part of the party and maybe I'll go, is Hannibal or Face or one of the other greats from the A Team. From the A Team, that's right. But I don't think, I suspect that if you told Mr. T circa 1985, that there were hundreds, maybe thousands of young boys that were dressing like him for Halloween, I bet he would get a kick out of that. And I bet if you told him a large percentage of them are white, I bet he'd even get a bigger kick out of that. So I then explained that this is nuts. There's the picture of me as Mr. T. Full Shaved head too. I mean, I really. I grew the beard, I shaved the head. He had little tufts of hair around his ears. It wasn't just a straight mohawk.

[C]

Hey, woman, I get everything you did. Except how did someone of your ilk procure that many gold chains?

[B]

That's a really good point.

[A]

I was, I think I went to like a costume jewelry store and just bought like 30ft of like just plastic chain and just wrapped it around.

[C]

You pulled it Off.

[A]

Yes. And then so somebody said, where is that picture? And then I tweeted, I don't know. I think maybe it's in President Me. And then I did like, help. Could somebody find the picture of me, Mr. T? And then somebody wrote back, carolla's the only celebrity asking people to find pictures of him in blackface.

[C]

Can someone unearth this, please?

[A]

It made me laugh because obviously it was true.

[C]

Had you been growing your hair out for a while in preparation of this? I have a lot of questions about this hair.

[B]

This was a May decision.

[A]

Ask pictures. Ask about pictures. Go ahead.

[C]

Well, you have a. I don't know, what would you say? 3 and a half inches up top of that Mohawk, Brian, what would you call that?

[B]

That's at least. That's a good grow out. This is a June decision.

[C]

Okay, so is that October? That is commitment.

[A]

Well, now, hold on, my Jew. The beard took a little time back then. Probably took me about three weeks or a month to get. Get the beard going. The hair was always bushy, always thick, and always sat up top about 2 inches and were shorter on the side. So I probably grew it out. I probably gave it a month or month and a half, but it wasn't, it wasn't a multi, multi. You know, it wasn't half a year. But I was on to this. I had to be a good month. Probably two months before Halloween.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

There you go. To bring it full circle. So you mentioned Mr. T. If you found out and Jimmy someone and Chris, you'll have to look this up. But somebody thought they were super clever, was like, hey on Twitter or something. Was like, hey, Jimmy Kimmel, care to explain this? Blackface. And it was him as Carl Malone. What would Karl Malone think? And Jimmy's response was beautiful. It was like, actually, Karl Malone, I've talked to him many times, been over his house. He loves the bit. And we're good friends.

[C]

Yeah, just like that.

[A]

He snuffed it out.

[B]

Just like that. Please find that because it was pretty remarkable. Someone tried to gotcha and they look got the only.

[C]

Got the.

[A]

The thing about the gotchas is people have to stop responding to the gotchas. They just need to tell them to shut up. They'll lose interest almost immediately.

[B]

Jimmy did that in a pretty eloquent way. Essentially he told him just to F off, but in a beautiful way, sophisticated.

[A]

And again, if you're one of these people that's just out looking for this kind of stuff, I don't know. You know what I mean? Focus on Pete Davidson. And what hot chick he's banging this weekend? Let that motivate. You know what I mean? All this sort of ancillary nonsense to

[C]

the kids doesn't make any sense.

[A]

I mean, we're adults here.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And we got Pete Davidson out there.

[C]

Pick that as your hill to die on.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Not this nonsense.

[C]

Insane.

[A]

So I don't. And so as far as this guy goes, I don't care. I mean, I feel bad for anyone whose yearbook was unearthed and then they were. You know, my whole thing is you. I'll treat it like any crime, which is, you committed some crime 35 years ago and it can't be murder one, but maybe it is murder one. But let's just say you committed a crime. I don't really want to look back in your file 35 years and find out what you got incarcerated for, written up for, on parole. I just wanna know from that 35 years from that point of the crime till now. I wanna check the record. I wanna know whatever we're accusing you of. I wanna know what there has been between then and now. And if I don't see anything between then and now, I'll assume you made a bad decision or it's between you and your God or you'll have to deal with it, or your family thing or whatever it is.

[C]

It's not power.

[A]

And we'll move. We shall move forward in our lives together. I'm not worried about you being racist, but I'm not worried about you being an arsonist if you may have lit something on fire at a young age. But if you put together 35 years, I'm ready to move on.

[C]

The only question I have about that picture is. I get it. The hooded capes and everything for the KKK isn't exactly, you know, Versace. You could make it yourself, however you think he just. Somebody's like, oh, my dad's got one of those in his closet. I can dust it off and bring it in. I mean, somebody had to have that readily available.

[B]

Well, that's a dunce cap, I think.

[C]

But look at the cape. Yeah, it looks pretty. Yeah, it looks pretty authentic.

[B]

The preacher's robe, maybe?

[C]

Oh, maybe. I don't know.

[B]

Maybe I'm reaching hard to make excuses for this.

[C]

Maybe they were a nun in Sound of Music.

[A]

I think. I think one could slap together a Klansman's outfit. I. I know. I've. Well, for instance, Carl's Adam Carolla show. I'm on a road, I pass an Elks Lodge. They're having a meeting I'm doing comedy, but I got a couple hours to burn now. What? So a couple crosses to burn so I don't again, I'll let him slide on this, apologize, move forward now. Then people do this. They go, well, look, it's not, I mean, outfits up. But now he's lying. He's lying. He's a liar. Of course he's a lie. He's saying he doesn't want to go out to the cornfield. So he's saying to the kid, he done a real good thing, A real good thing because he doesn't want to go to cornfield. Everyone, I do not blame anyone for lying who's trying to save their neck, their family, their reputation or whatever. So that one I'm not. I don't care about the lying part. We got. We're pinching it. There's two kinds of lying. There's the, you know, I was a decorated Vietnam vet in the final running for the Heisman, so vote for me. You know, and then we found out that it was all made up. Well, then that's a kind of a lie. Somebody asking if you had an affair on your wife and you go, no, I've never been faithful to my wife. That's you just trying to protect something. It's not a liar.

[C]

Yes, I have feelings.

[A]

Somebody has a question about RuPaul.

[C]

I have feelings.

[A]

You have feelings. Fran 37, Pittsburgh.

[E]

Hey, Adam.

[A]

What's going on, Gina?

[E]

I definitely need Gina's input on this because I don't think Adam is going

[A]

to be a huge fan.

[C]

You never know.

[E]

My wife is a fan of the show RuPaul's Drag Race, which is fine. And it's basically just an hour long, like Dick and Snatch Joke. My issue is that she'll let it run while my 9 year old son is running around the house. And I kind of bitched her out. I don't feel that it's appropriate for a nine year old, but I need a verdict.

[C]

Well, I have a question.

[E]

Am I an uptight dick wad or.

[C]

Probably. But when. On the subject of RuPaul, what's the part that you're, what's the part that you're freaked out about? Is it the language or is it the pretty dresses and the dancing?

[E]

It's the language and the, like, men walking around. I don't feel like explaining tucking to my 9 year old.

[B]

Sounds like innuendo. I've never seen the show, but from

[A]

what he's describing, a lot of it. Yeah, that's kind of the main Thrust

[E]

a lot of, like, men in bras, tongue in cheeks.

[A]

Like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Gina, have you seen the show?

[C]

I've seen one or two episodes.

[A]

What percent you guys tell. Tell me this percentage of viewers of Drag Race who have been to an actual drag race, like NHRA Drag Race, or amount of people have actually attended the Winter Nationals in Pomona who've actually watched RuPaul's Drag Race. Is there any crossover at all?

[C]

Less than half.

[A]

Hold on. Some go, some blow.

[B]

That's a good point.

[A]

I might be a party of one on that. I've been to drag races, and I've

[E]

watched that show with my wife.

[A]

I feel like that's just. You're being fracked, though. Like, you're just in the room while that's going on.

[B]

I've been to a drag race. Not the RuPaul's Drag Race, but a drag race. I remember a lot of, like, scantily clad girls giving out, like, Copenhagen and, like, stuff like that. Like. Like handing out samples of, like, this is 20 years ago.

[A]

Oh, right.

[B]

Like handing out, like, samples of dip and, like, whatever. Or selling cigarettes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So maybe those girls maybe watch. You know what I mean? Like, the merch girls. I can't imagine all of the wrenchers.

[A]

Maybe some of the older English leather girls from back in the 70s watch the show now.

[C]

I don't think in 2019. It's a hard conversation to say. Oh, yeah. Some guys sometimes like to dress up like women. Anyway, what do you want for breakfast? I don't think that's a big deal to have that conversation anymore.

[B]

Are there a lot of innuendo, ish. Dick jokes?

[C]

Oh, yeah, but you're nine. You're not gonna get it. I mean, talent shows, you have to. The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race has. Has to have charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

[B]

Okay, all right.

[E]

That she was watching was. They were playing the Snatch Game.

[C]

Yeah, Snatch Game.

[A]

All right. I wouldn't. I'm with you. My nine year old. Why?

[E]

That's funny.

[A]

Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with me. I'm with God, I'm with America.

[C]

Wait a second.

[A]

So I. That's not. It's not worth. I don't. I don't think it's worth. Like, we run into this a lot, too. You watch stuff. You watch Family Guy with your son is going to make jokes, and there's jokes and there are things like that. So what you do is what. What we sort of do, which is you try not to give It a lot of momentum, you know, you don't scream at anyone. Avert your gaze, literally from the gaze, Right? Hold your ears, run out of the room. I think you kind of tell. I think you kind of tell your wife. Like, I wouldn't watch it with the boy. If the kid walks into the room while you're watching. Don't die for the dive.

[D]

Don't.

[A]

Don't give things energy. But, like, in general, you treat it like the handful of things you do. There's things you do that you just don't do in front of your kids, but if they walk in the room, you don't scream or whatever. So I kind of. Yeah, no, I didn't. Don't give it momentum. But I think in general, she shouldn't be, like, bivouacking with the kid and watching the thing. If the kids walking in and out, so be it.

[C]

Although it could be. It could be a lot worse than a show that ends every episode with, if you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen? And then everybody dances.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

That's good.

[A]

I don't like anyone who says, love yourself.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Bothers me. It's too much of that.

[C]

I get it.

[A]

First off, it doesn't work. You gotta earn it. And then secondly, I don't know, would we like a society where everyone just love that themselves? I don't like it. I feel like we're going to lose the next thousand wars. If everyone just loves themselves, somebody's got to take one for the team. Someone's got to look at themselves as meat.

[C]

Loathe themselves.

[A]

Yeah. No, I mean, don't do the opposite of love yourself. But there's so much talk about, like, love yourself and pride and all the good vibes and stuff. And it's to everyone I know is successful. It's a neither here nor there thing. Like, if you ask successful people, do you love yourself? They'll go, I never thought about it. I'm thinking about work or education or whatever it is I'm doing. It's neither here nor there. All right. Anyway, but love yourself. The last thing I have on the blackface thing is people are like, we got into it before. Someone, like, then tweeted me, oh, you think it's okay to go in blackface? It's like, I went as Mr. T. That's not in blackface. In blackface is something else with its own set of history. That's long before me and Mr. T got here. So why now? Listen I get honest mistakes. But these aren't honest mistakes. This is you trying hard. Somebody's trying hard. Like having a black face such as Mr. T is not in blackface as we know it in this country. And the history, the minstrel shows. Right. So here's what makes me worry. If you're asking just sort of like a legitimate question or you just wanna know, that's fine. I don't think that's what's going on. I think you're burning calories trying to get people lumped into this thing. And I wanna know why? Why? Why are we not worried about Pete Davidson and who? Kate Beckinsale? Why are you working so hard at this? Everyone? Why are we trying to make ourselves so much worse than we actually are? Like, we go. I mean, you think about all the, oh, you know, racist, homophobic, blah, blah, blah, blah. How much? Like, I mean, in a society, like there's societies where there's tribes at war and there's. There's different

[B]

factions.

[A]

Factions or whatever. And there's a body count. At the end of the year, there's hundreds of thousands of these people are killed. And hundreds of thousands of those people are killed. We treat ourselves that way about race, about religion, about sexual proclivities and stuff like that, but we don't really end up with a body count at the end of it. So why so many calories?

[B]

Everybody self flagellation.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Feel good through a self torture.

[C]

Yeah. And it's not like just because we're not the worst, whatever, but I mean, there is a highly publicized Chechen gay purge where they're literally rounding up gay men and offing them and banishing them and all of these horrible things. This is, you know, we are lucky not to be in that environment.

[B]

Yes, we should export RuPaul's Drag Race to them. Chechens might open things up over there.

[A]

All right, let's see. We'll talk to Harbinger about clearing up our headspace. And first, I'll tell you about headspace, your guide to health and happiness. Oh, I'm in love with these guys. Proven to reduce stress and increase happiness. Learn life changing meditation and mindfulness skills in just minutes a day, backed by scientific research. You do 10 days of headspace, you increase your happiness 5%. Reduce irritability. Irritability, by God, I hate it when I can't say that word. Sorry. By 27%. So that's big. And you reduce stress by 14%. Sound good? Hundreds of meditation sessions on everything from stress to sleep, plus Guided exercises to help add mindfulness to daily activities like cooking, commuting, eating. We talk about versions of this all the time. Now here's a place you can go. Start toward a healthier habit, happier life by subscribing. Sign up now headspace.com sammy try the month out for free. Start meditating [e-mail] Adam. All right. Oh, Jordan Harmger. Not on the phone. So I will say this about this race. Sorry. You can get me the governor's race in Virginia. Now, my feeling is I don't. I don't know much about this fella, and I prefer everyone not go back and tear into everyone's proverbial yearbook and try to dig up dirt and then destroy their life. But this guy, Ralph Northam, ran a horrible racist ad against his opponent in the governor's race a year. Sweet. All right, he called the guy. It was one of those. Now, to be fair, for what I know, he didn't do it. It was one of those super PAC things. Did it, but he endorsed it and he never denounced it. And he ran this commercial where there's a giant pickup truck chasing around brown people, and it has a Ed Gillespie bumper sticker on it. The guy, right, who, by the way, Ed's Gillespie is just a dude, you know, like, I don't know. There's no possible way. There are this many races, right?

[B]

Maybe he had the bumper sticker on his own truck. Maybe it was him.

[A]

Yeah, maybe it was him. All right, so starts with, what is that? A young black child and young, like Persian.

[C]

Yeah, And a hijab walking down the street on a sunny day.

[A]

You see that every day in Virginia. Kids just shooting hoop. Uh, oh, Mexican kids on the run with Confederate flag trucks coming after them. Scary white man. It's kind of Hispanicy kid. He's out of gas. But there's that truck again, and he's coming after him.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Run.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

He's got the Gillespie bumper sticker on there. Poor kids can't get saved.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

What? If you're a kid watching this, this is terrifying.

[C]

This is nightmare fuel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So don't tread on me pump license plate.

[A]

Now they're trapped in an alley in the cage.

[B]

Except for a nightmare.

[A]

Woke up from a dream.

[C]

Collective dream. Donald Trump and Ed Gillespie mean by the American dream Latino Victory Fund. Paid for and is responsible for the content of this advertising.

[A]

All right, well, anyway, that guy just got burned for being a racist. Guy ran that against the other racist. So I don't know, everyone calling Everyone a racist. It can come back. It can come back and get you.

[C]

And just to tease this in the news, we do have some Liam Neeson news about.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Everyone.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Is he dating Pete Davidson now?

[C]

You're gonna be so pissed.

[A]

Jordan's on line three. Jordan Harbinger.

[E]

Hey.

[A]

Hey, man. What's going on?

[E]

Hey, thanks for having me on. Yeah, I appreciate it.

[A]

You.

[E]

You know, calling people a racist is dangerous. It's like a boomerang. They're just like, oh, you open that gate, let's do this.

[A]

Hold on. I think boomerang might be racist. Murphy movie telling people this for a while. Stop everyone calling everyone racist. It's. You're gonna. You're gonna be next. Or you do what I do, which is you just own it. Which when someone goes, aren't you scared? I go, everyone call thinks I'm a racist anyway. So just lean into it, Jordan. It's easier. The Jordan Harbinger show is the name of the pod on Podcast 1 and Apple Podcast. What? Oh, wait, yeah. We'll play your opening. And now, some simple ways to Better Yourself in 2019, brought to you by Intuit.com Intuit, proud makers of TurboTax, QuickBooks, and Mint. It's time for Harbinger of Success with Jordan Harbinger. There we go. What do we got today?

[E]

Well, you know, it's fun. You'll like this, Adam. Because when I was writing this, I was thinking, adam's going to dig this. Your haters. And I hate the word haters. I'm just going to start with that. But people who. Who are giving you grief, when they get. They get all worked up, if we treat them like toddlers, then it makes it a lot easier for us to palate this.

[B]

Give them whatever they want.

[E]

What's that?

[B]

Give them whatever they want just to get back to bed.

[E]

I don't even know about giving them whatever. Well, I guess it depends on your parenting style. Maybe. Maybe I. Maybe I should have done more research on people's parenting styles here, but I'm looking at it is, you know, we're having a great day. We just, you know, uploaded our podcast or we wrote something. We put it out there. You create a documentary or movie. You put it up there, and then you get somebody giving you, like, the raspberry or whatever. They're throwing something on Twitter. Like, even the other day, somebody was like, oh, the Harbinger segment is the worst. And I was just like, you know, this is ridiculous. I could get all worked up about this, and I Wish that I had the ability to just shrug off everything. But I'm not immune to this, at least not all the time. But a lot of these uninformed, nasty critics are. They're not trying to make you better. They're not trying to point out something that could be stronger. They're just like toddlers that are cranky and in a bad mood. Childish mindset for attention only.

[A]

They're basically, I guess, the version of the teenagers. Another thing women would never do but guys think is a good idea. It's like stand in the bed of a pickup truck and whack mailbox with a baseball bat as you go down the street. It's like you're not hitting people whose houses you hate. You're just whacking mailboxes. You're just jacking up someone else's stuff. Yeah. And there's that impulse. You always want to react like you always want to. I got somebody. Some chick sent me one today. I don't care about the ones that call me a dickhead. I care about the ones that are sort of insane. Like, I was busting Gary's chops the other day because I was saying he wanted me to watch one of the fyre festivals. There were two of them. Ben was coming in. He starred in one of them. He wasn't really in the other one. And he just sort of randomly went, go watch one of them. And I was like, next time, pick out the one where the you wanted me to watch because the guest is coming in. Watch. Tell me to watch the one where the guest is in. And then some chick, like, wrote back like, yeah, you would have just found something else to complain about or whatever. And I'm like, I know. It's a pretty real reasonable request if you're talking about producing a show. You're producing a show. There's two docs. I have access to both of them. I'm gonna watch one. And one the guest was in in preparation for that guest to come in. It was a normal, reasonable thing. I feel like Johnny Carson or David Letterman or even the great Jimmy Kimmel may have had that discussion with something. And her thing was like, oh, you just yell at Gary. Because the Netflix doc was better than the Hulu. And I was like, I don't think I would have ever known. I would have just watched one of them. But, I mean, you would have found

[B]

another reason to yell at Gary.

[A]

I've no doubt.

[C]

Might not be doc related.

[A]

I don't like. I don't like the inaccurate stuff. I don't like the one where they go, you would have done this. Like, I, I'm only voicing it because I would have liked to have the information. This isn't, oh, I'm going to randomly pick on somebody. No, I would like you to fold this into your producing skills set. Next time this comes up, if it ever comes up again, recommend the one the guy's in.

[B]

Fair.

[A]

It'll be, it'll be fair. Sorry, I did not, you know, I told the woman, I said you should just re. Listen to the conversation. I think you missed something.

[B]

Your mansplained to her.

[A]

Yes, of course. Yeah.

[E]

And then you're. Yes. And then your mansplaining and. But here's the thing, I'm like, and it took me freaking 20 years to wrap my head around this, but I saw so many parents parenting their toddler in a very reasonable way. Or so I thought. And most people don't get upset when a four or six year old says something to them that's not considered polite or that's considered a bit rude in polite company. Like if someone walks up and says, why are you so fat? People might be like mildly embarrassed, but usually the fat person is just like, eh, awkward. Laughter it's fine. And it's because sane people don't believe that toddlers have a great concept of savoir faire. We don't rely on their taste for much, so we don't have to get, we don't have to get upset and then set them straight. It's not going to do any good. No one with two brain cells to rub together is even going to try this.

[A]

Also, I've found that from the mouth of babes are, it's pretty good. Like, if I ever say to my kids, look, I don't like to talk about myself, but they'll just go.

[F]

For a reason.

[A]

If my stepdad John did that, they wouldn't do that noise because he never talks about it.

[B]

Yeah, you know John. You know John Sell.

[C]

Let us in.

[A]

Yeah. Every once in a while Lynette will go Sunday night lasagna from scratch. And they'll both start laughing and walk out of the room. It's a tell. Yeah. But I think we are doing lasagna.

[E]

I guess the advice point here, like the practical takeaway here is like, next time someone's trying to bring you down, especially if it's on freaking social media or in like a public forum. And I'm sure you dealt with this doing standup. At any point someone tries to get sabotage, you get you all riled up or undermine you or your work or your self confidence. You can just really reframe it. Like this is a toddler, emotionally or otherwise. And it's so much easier to do that than to let them kind of derail your work, your project, your emotional state or your day. And it takes a minute, it takes like a deep breath beat, you know, for me to do this. But it's kind of a practiced skill because otherwise I spend the next 20 minutes being like, well, you know, might be right about this part of that, but you know, he's wrong about all this other. But if you just think toddler, it's like you don't have to put any extra effort or processing power into trying to figure out what to do with the information at all.

[A]

Agreed, Brian Jordan.

[B]

I like that advice and I identify with it. I, I hadn't thought about this in years, but I guess I, here's how petty I am and here's how much I hold a grudge. Years ago when my. To your point, Jordan, years ago when my book came out, Shrinkage, Manhood, Marriage and the Tomb that Tried to Kill Me, there was an Adam Carolla message board, independent message board. People posted on there about the show and things went on the show. And I say was because I don't know if it's still around, because the last day I ever visited, it was around the time my book came out. A day after my book came out, I was like, I don't know what people are saying, what, Fred's got the book. Someone posted a topic, said something along, something to the effect of, has anyone here read Brian's shitty book yet? And I was like, you mother, the book came out yesterday. Obviously you haven't read it and determined it's no good. You're simply just throwing it out there to be a total dick. And that was the last day. I can't do this. I was the last day I ever visited that site. I can't do this. I can't subject myself to this. I was invested emotionally. You know my problem? The person obviously didn't judge my book to not be good. He was just saying something to be an a hole. Yes, to Jordan's point, just, you know, to put a, put a 5 blanket on it.

[C]

Message boards are not for the people who are busy with their day making things happen.

[A]

All right, let's hit the outro and thank you, Jordan.

[E]

Thank you guys. Appreciate it as always.

[A]

Harbinger of Success brought to you by intuit.com and you can check out. Jordan Harbinger. Jordanharbinger.com yeah, I. Look, it's a. It's an expression experiment. We're the first people to do it. We're essentially the monkey and we're rocketing toward the moon right now in a tin can. And people who came before us didn't have to deal with it. And the people that come after us will. I'm not saying they'll have every tool they need to deal with it, but it'll be a part of the fabric of their life. This is new thing that these things going on a computer screen and finding out your dickhead didn't exist from 0 to age 40 for me, and now it exists. And it's something I can say. I mean, it's a small group of people and you can talk about, oh, what about the kids? What about the kids? What about the adults? God damn it. Did you know better? My kids. My kids grew up with this. Whatever toll it's taking on them, it'll take it collectively. They'll all be ruined. They'll be ruined or whatever it is. It's their life. It's part of their life.

[C]

They don't know any different.

[A]

They don't know any different. I literally probably put three addresses on three envelopes from 0 to age 40. And now all of a sudden, you turn on this magic notebook and there's things about you and there's pictures and there's words and people are chiming in. I mean, we were not ready for that. And the cement in the sidewalk of our brain had already dried. The kids still plastic, you know, they're gonna have to figure it out. They'll overcome, they'll improvise, they'll evolve with it. What about us?

[C]

I don't mean to be too Oprah, Super Soul Sunday about this, but I do think about this all the time. We think you were a kid if you were getting bullied or if someone was being mean to you. I can't be the only one that ever thought, well, I cannot wait to grow up and be an adult because I'll never have to deal with this again. Because adults don't do this.

[B]

And here we are.

[C]

And so I think about that if someone says something horrific or I'm, you know, my pearls are clutched because somebody says something about me. I would love to get into the dirt with that person in that moment and mix it up. But then I think that's not really fair or nice to the kid. Gina, that kind of had that promise that this was not going to be an issue as an adult. I don't want to drive drag that kid version of me along into adulthood and have to defend myself against bullies. I work for a living. I move on. I try to create stuff.

[A]

It's incredible, the people, I guess you could say, what did James woods do before Twitter? But I guess, who knows? Act, I guess, would be the job. Acting. But I mean, it's like some of these guys, provocateur. He's like. He's like a water fowl or something that's been swimming in a circle on a lake and now spread his wings and he's soaring. What did James woods do before this?

[C]

That's right, bathroom walls.

[A]

All right, let me tell you about intuit. Mark. Paul Gosler is here. Intuit. Whether you're a small business owner, mother, or podcast host, we're all working toward a prosperous future. But prosperity doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. Maybe it's buying a home. Maybe it's starting a college fund. Maybe it's finally taking that trip to Hawaii, man. As you think about your vision of prosperity, you probably worry about the time, the money, the obstacles into it is here to give you the confidence to pursue your goals. Join the millions managing their finances with QuickBooks, TurboTax or Mint. Everyone deserves a chance to prosper. Get started on your path to success and get started today. You can learn more@ induit.com I n t u I t.com intuit.com Powering Prosperity. All right, Mark's going to come in in a second. I'm heading to Boston. I'm heading to Connecticut. Foxwoods Casino this Friday. Adam Kroll's unprepared. And then the Wilbur Theater. Beautiful Wilbur Theater in Boston. Everyone should be in a good mood over there with what the Pats did to my rams. So I got another little clip for you. This is unprepared. This is delusion. I've not heard this one. I don't know if I did this one with Kimmel or I did this one with Adam Ray, but. But here's a little shot of ping pong balls. One word. Hopper. Did we send the hopper along or do we buy a new hopper?

[B]

We bought a new hopper for the East Coast.

[A]

We got an east coast hopper. Yeah, I'm a multi hopper man.

[B]

Multi hopper guy.

[A]

So an east coast hopper and just ping pong balls. Hand it out, you write one word and we shall pull those babies. So this one is. Sorry. Oh, it's delusional. Delusional. Sir, this is a Fun one. Delusional. Yes, delusional. I do feel like that's something that's going around more and more these days. Everyone at their fucking cockamamie ideas about, like, how life works, about their pets.

[C]

I actually.

[A]

Maybe it started with pets, maybe the delusion started with pets. But because, look, pets, in the past, animals were pretty much either beast of burden or we ate them. Either you got to pull my fat ass up this canyon side, or you can drag this till and we'll till some soil, drag a plow, or I'm going to eat you. Or both. When you run out of gas dragging my fat ass up the side of this hill, then I'll eat you.

[D]

Bye.

[A]

We started welcoming the animals into our homes, and that's when the delusion started. My son today at dinner, literally tonight at dinner, he said, Phil, 110 pound, black lab. I am colorblind, but not when it comes to labs. I definitely, I make a distinction, but other than that, I thought you were Mexican. That's how colorblind I am.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

So he said to me, phil's so smart. And I said, why is it Phil smart? Phil's not smart. Smelly Phil eats and acorns. Like, he's got like a lot of range. Pick a lane. Any one of God's creatures that thinks it's a good idea to eat, eat its own. No. Could not be called having a high intellect. No. I'm not accepting your face. You've got to be somewhere around average iq. You cannot be smart. But he said, phil's smart. I said, why? He said, because I looked at him and I blinked one eye and then he blinked that same eye, and so I blinked the other eye and then he blinked that eye. He thought he's doing Morse code with a Labrador. And I realized this is where the delusion begins. Yeah. I started thinking about, like, people, you know, all the women who think they're dogs don't think they're dogs. Or they know him, and he's my best friend and he knows what I'm thinking. And he. I had a shortness of breath, so he started barking. And then I went into the doctor and I found out there was a tumor. And like all this kind of stuff, it is. We had much less delusion when animals were animals and people were people. Right. We're getting blurred.

[B]

We're getting.

[A]

Getting blurry.

[C]

Yes. But not to assume Brian's role here. I don't know, Mr. Security Crows.

[A]

Well, that's hard. That's a hard science. And by the way, I'm looking out for you. I pointed when I did that. Yeah, you did, because I need your vote. There's so many times. I mean, just think about the other day, Max. Pat was driving along the five and they had that jumper on there, and they had, like, the airbags and everything set up, and they blocked off the entire freeway. And they're, like, negotiating with the guy. Send the crows. Send them crows out.

[C]

Get down in a hurry.

[A]

The second that airbag is inflated, send out the murder crows. Let's get this mess cleaned up. What are we talking, by the way? You thought it'd be a good idea to stand over a freeway overpass during rush hour and threaten to jump with a hot load in your pants? How much negotiating are we really doing here? You know what I mean? Like, who are we really talking to? You got an. You got an agent over at William Morris Endeavor. Like, we should get on. We should. We should loop into this. This call. You're a crazy person. What are we talking about?

[B]

I know this started as a bit, but getting the crows in the schools. Train them to attack anyone they see with a. With a firearm or that. You can do that. Train them to attack, you know, any kind of weapon.

[C]

A cop comes for a dare meeting.

[B]

Keep that guy holstered.

[A]

Yeah, it's super. I mean, any. You can train a crow to do anything, but all you have to do is hold your hand out with something metallic and shake it around. Make sense? They just go for the guy's eyes. The deal is, let's save some lies, man. You go for the eyes. You go for the eyes. And also, you wanna talk about preventative measures, you're not walking into that school knowing they have an active crow patrol there. You're not shooting up that place. You'll go find a mini mart. You're not going into that school. The whole plan is, sadly, it's bottom count, and you're not gonna get too many shots off before the crow hits your neck.

[B]

18 crows attacking your eyes, right?

[A]

There you go. All right. Mark Paul is out there. Dawson's event is postponed. People should know we're doing it next month. It's postponed the one that was gonna take place tomorrow. I waited for you, man. Yeah. Mike McGowan, the FBI agent, had a family emergency. He had to jump back on a plane to Boston. So as soon as I can get together with Mike and Tenny, we will reschedule this one. As far as now goes, join us March 7th at Tenney for bank robber Richard Stanley. And reading above, our game it's going to be fun. All right, then. Maybe I'll see him at the Wilbur.

[C]

Yeah. That was the family emergency.

[A]

Mark. Paul Gosler's out there. We'll bring him in right after this. In the spirit of Murrow, Jennings Cron. Here's another great moment in local news. U.S. 41 with some breaking news. This is an ice storm warning. Alright, stop.

[C]

Drive safe and listen.

[A]

Ice storm's back with the mission. Slick up the road more than slightly.

[C]

Schools have been closing through the nightly. Will it stop?

[A]

Maybe. Jen, be sure to stay safe on

[C]

the roads to the extreme.

[A]

The UP can handle. If you lose power, use a candle. Ice. Ice, baby. This is an ice storm warning.

[C]

Yo, man, it's slick out there.

[B]

It's worthy of mother.

[A]

That's a great moment in local news. Now back to the Adam Carolla show. Now. Now, if that person is super attractive, we couldn't see it, but I'll sign off on that. The up, they were less than a seven. I got a big problem with what went on.

[C]

That kind of reporting.

[A]

Yeah, that's bad reporting. Mark, Paul Gosler is in studio. Good to see you again, my friend.

[G]

Hello, Adam.

[A]

They'll tell you all about. Mark just had shoulder surgery. I'm sorry for laughing, but he's in exquisite pain.

[G]

I'm not in pain, I'm annoyed.

[A]

He's annoyed. This half of the show brought to you by LegalZoom and LifeLock. Want to thank them for this?

[G]

I'm a member of Lifelock.

[A]

Oh, there you go. Perfect. You chime in when I talk all about it. So the shoulder surgery. Why? This is the second shoulder. So you're out of shoulders? Yeah. What's the problem? What happened?

[G]

Just from racing motocross and being stupid in my 20s and, you know, getting old.

[A]

You raced what kind of motocross?

[G]

The kind that's on dirt.

[A]

Oh. Well, you have 250 of 125.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, what class did you do?

[G]

I was a 450 guy.

[A]

Oh, a thumper.

[G]

Yeah, a thumper. I was riding when thumpers were around.

[A]

It was kind of cool.

[G]

I went from the two strokes into the four strokes.

[A]

Thumpers. A four stroke.

[C]

Thanks for sending me.

[A]

I say to Brian. So Gina here. But I don't want to. Shame. Right.

[B]

Thanks for mansplaining that to me.

[A]

So, Yeah, I mean, all those things that are all so fun are also hard in your 40s on the body. Yeah. So what'd they have to do to your shoulder?

[G]

Everything. It's a full rebuild. They had to, like Cut bone and cables and rotator and attach tendons.

[A]

Well, congratulations on the passage, by the way. Monday's nine o' clock on Sunday Fox episode. The fourth one's gonna episode air this week.

[G]

Fifth one. Fourth one.

[A]

The fourth one or the fifth one? I got the fourth here. Fox is into the show, man. I mean, I've been seeing spot after spot after spot in the middle of football games for the last month. So it means it's testing real well. And it means the network's really into it. Where do you. You shoot it?

[G]

We shot it in Atlanta, Georgia.

[A]

Does everyone go there? Because all the big soundstages are there now. It's all the Tyler Perry like stuff

[G]

I've heard because of the Tyler Perry's. I've heard also that Marvel pumped in about 1.5 billion into the infrastructure. And they have these beautiful sound stages there. And yeah, they have. All the crews are there. Everybody moved from where all the tax incentives are. Atlanta, I think for the next 10 years, has the tax exempt.

[A]

So. And then there's the entire sort of. There's the soldiers in the army and then there's just the entire traveling circus of caterers and makeup and gaffers. And so all that much, just, everyone just starts. Starts moving there. And the next thing you know, they build out crazy infrastructure and you have all those trades and everything. And now they're all there, right?

[G]

It was funny on Passage, I was working my sound crew. One of the guys was my guy from 15 years ago on NYPD Blue. And he, after NYPD Blue, packed it all up, moved to Atlanta.

[A]

I feel in a weird way, everyone I know who's moved out of LA is happier that they moved out of la. But I don't know, they need incentive. Like, this guy had to be incentivized to move to Atlanta. Is he enjoying. Enjoying his Atlanta life?

[G]

I think so. I think so. And he said he was gonna retire soon and he was gonna retire in Atlanta. He wasn't gonna come back to la.

[A]

There's a certain efficiency that I love about the guys that are on and the girls. And I don't mean that like when I normally do it, like, normally when I go, he or she, I don't really mean she. But this particular time I've worked with like some of those dynamic women, like stage managers and stuff. They're just always moving. They always have the headset, they're always yelling, copy or settle. Settle or copy.

[B]

Copy, Settle, Settle the copy.

[A]

Yeah, they're like moving. Like, I love just the crazy running the show never like, never seem to be doing something or going, hey, I'm talking on the phone, give me a minute or whatever. Like, I, I sort of miss all that about production.

[G]

A lot of multitasking going on with them because they have a headset on.

[A]

Right.

[G]

And you're talking to them, but they're getting words from the set because you're not on set.

[A]

Right.

[G]

And they're listening to that by listening to you and they have an answer for you and they have an answer for the set. It's an amazing talent, what they do. I have so much respect for the ads.

[A]

Yeah. I just love everybody who's. I love the little beehive of crazy efficient work that you, you see.

[G]

Well then that's the thing that people don't understand. Like the production size specifically with like the passage. Like we had 200 crew members every day on set. I brought people that were friends of mine from Atlanta that had never been on a set before. And that was what they took away from it was all these people are working on one thing.

[A]

Yes.

[G]

I was like, yeah, there's like they had no idea that we had a crew of over 200 people every day.

[A]

Do you. So you just relocate for X amount of weeks, months. How's that work?

[G]

No, it wasn't. That wasn't pleasant. I messed up when we filmed the pilot. My family traveled with me and they were with me for the month of the pilot and I thought, when we go into series, I will make. They will live with me and things happen. To show up was pushed and we started production a full year later and things happened in our lives where my wife could not travel with me, the kids couldn't travel with me and it was not pleasant.

[A]

Is it been sorted? Are you back for a while?

[G]

I'm back. It was four and a half months of trying to every other weekend fly back home or have my wife come out. And I wasn't. My accommodations were not, they were not great. I thought. Because I thought, you know, I'm paying for a mortgage in la. I don't want to pay for another mortgage in Atlanta. So I'm going to find a, you know, a one bedroom concrete apartment and it.

[C]

And that's what you got.

[G]

Failed miserably.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

It didn't work.

[A]

Not comparable. But I did an arc on Dawson's Creek and just go. Going somewhere for weeks. Like you don't. You do get the part where it's like Adam, Adam.

[B]

He wasn't on Dawson's Creek.

[A]

I was on Dawson's Creek. Who do you think he'd be lucky if he was on Dawson's Creek?

[G]

Yeah, that's right.

[A]

You, like, you remember your toothbrush. Like, you go bring your toothbrush and you go bring your sweatpants or whatever, but you forget how undialed in you are in every other facet of. You can't control the tv, you don't know the kitchen. Like, whatever it is, nothing works. And it takes a while. It takes like a weird sort of repetitive living condition.

[G]

But me being away from my family and being in another state, both mentally and physically, but to then, like, come home from work and not have my routine right. It's not like you're like, oh, now that I'm in Atlanta, I can go out and go eat wherever I want. It's like you don't have the time, desire to do that. You want to be with your family. I mean, you're a family man.

[A]

Yeah, I want to be with your family, too. Your wife's hot.

[G]

Yeah, she is hot.

[A]

No, I get it. And it's a long. That's a long. That's a long time. And I, you know, everyone has to go through it now. It's such a.

[G]

It's the first time I've had to do it in 20 years, though. I've been very lucky.

[A]

I've said on this show before. I was in Winnipeg at Samuel L. Jackson, the room next to me. Samuel L. Jackson had to go to Winnipeg in January and shoot for weeks and weeks. I drove Bryan Cranston to the airport to go to New Mexico. That's it. That's the New World Order. Everyone lives in LA and has got to get on an airplane and go somewhere that they don't want to go or they're not familiar with in order to support their life in la. Although I don't know if you're looking into it, but is LA is trying to get some of this runaway stuff back?

[G]

I think they're trying now, yes. I think they've succeeded. I think a lot of shows will do one season and there's an incentive to do the second season in la, right.

[A]

So it's this thing of like, just they will go. The gypsy camp will pack up and go wherever they can make the most money. I mean, look, you have. You have 200 people working, working on one episode. There's a lot of money going around, a couple of percentage points this way or that way when it comes to taxes or incentives or whatever, or just a sort of. Anyone who's ever shot in LA back In the day knows it's not a friendly town. It was a friendly town to shoot in. Cops were always coming around. They're always, like, handing out tickets there. I did a man show bit on Melrose once. It was like, man on the street. And a woman pulled up in her car and got out of her car and walked around to the. The sidewalk and she was going to feed the meter. And I, like, slid in with the camera, like, hey, man on the street, what's in your purse? Or whatever it was. And she got a parking ticket while I was talking to her, which I think we paid for. But, I mean, she was just walking to the meter and I, like, slid in and she struck up a conversation with me, and 18 seconds later, somebody gave her a parking ticket. All right, so big hit the passage. Good for you, I think. Do we. We all root for Mark, right?

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Unless you're racing against him.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And especially this genre. This genre of TV show is White Hot. People love it. People love the, you know, this sort of dystopian society that we're having to fight against. And it's so fun to watch.

[A]

I know you did a race at Irwindale a couple years back with good mats. I like to call Matt the Motorator at D. I think you did well. Did you win the race?

[G]

I won my second race there.

[A]

You won your second. You did like a sort of short track oval.

[G]

That was fun. That was my first time doing just left turns.

[A]

Yeah, it was like.

[G]

That was cool. Have you ever done that?

[A]

No, I've been to. I've been to Irwindale and shot something in Irwindale when It was like 140 degrees there.

[G]

But it's a whole nother way of driving a car.

[A]

Just going in that circle on the bank that way.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

But just. It's a lot of, like, finesse, but also not. You're just slamming it in there. You're hard on the brakes, you're hard on the wheel. You're trusting the banking. It was interesting.

[A]

And you have a spotter, right? You have like a radio and somebody spotting for you.

[G]

Yeah. Someone's in your ear telling you you're low, low, low.

[A]

Right. Like, they're telling you like, it's kind of nice, right?

[G]

It's kind of cool. It felt like real racing.

[A]

Yeah. Never had the. I did a professional Trans Am race at Laguna or at Willow Springs a couple years ago, and I just showed up and the guy's like, you have a radio in your helmet, right? I'm like, no. And he's like, oh, well, that's bad. And I'm like, geez, we have email. This is what email's for. Like, this was on the calendar for set seven months. Like, you could ask about the. And then he was like, oh, I'll take. I got one in my helmet. I'll just take it out of my helmet. I'll stuff it in your helmet. It's not gonna work that good. And I was like, okay. And then he was like, oh, you're not gonna be able to hear me while you're racing because it's like, it's too loud. But if there's a yellow flag or we're kind of coasting or off it or whatever, you could. You could hear me then.

[C]

Just getting better and better.

[A]

So I did. I did hear term then, but it was actually nice to have somebody. It was during a yellow flag, and I started slowing down, and he was yelling like, go, go, go, catch up. You can't pass anybody, but sure, you can catch up. Catch up to them. And I did. So the radio worked. Also had.

[G]

Did you talk to him?

[A]

I don't think I knew if I was talking to him or not.

[B]

He was talking a lot.

[D]

I think there was.

[A]

There was probably a button on the steering wheel that said, like, radio or talk or something, but there was also buttons all over the place. I was a little scared to touch things neutral. I was so undialed into this car that this car has a. Like, a sway bar adjustment thing on it. Like a handle to adjust, like, dial in the sway bar. You should do it during the race. Like, as your tires start going away or your fuel gets lighter, you start dialing, filling in more sway bar. But I'm like, I'm not going to start touching things. But there was a hose, a clear hose that went right to the sway bar shift. And I was like. So I. I went. I practiced and stuff. And then I said, you guys have a hydraulic sway bar, whatever. And the guy's like, no, that's the water hose. We just keep it there. And I was like, oh, we got water. Put the water in my mouth with the hose and hit another button on the. On the wheel. Oh, man, it was. It was huge.

[G]

That's a fun track. Willow Springs.

[A]

The. There's a picture of the contraption I was. I was in. And you can see why I didn't want to. Scared to touch anything in the car. And you can see capacitor. You can see the hose going to. At the bottom of the screen, you can see the hose going to the thing with the red ball on it, which is. That is the sway bar adjuster, which I was getting scared to touch because why would you. All right.

[B]

You guys ever raced at the Long Beach Grand Prix together?

[A]

No. You ran then. I ran. You ran what, you ran in 94, 95. What years did you run? Early. Sure was fun though, right?

[G]

It was fun. It was the Celicas at that time. And then they. They bumped them up to what they

[A]

are now, which is Scions, I think.

[G]

Kind of cool.

[A]

They went from front wheel drive drive to rear wheel drive. But the thing that's fun about that is all the cars are the same and nobody owns the cars. And so people just mash.

[B]

They go crazy.

[A]

They really do mash the crap out of those cars.

[G]

That was my first race. My first race. Turn one, I got taken out.

[A]

Oh, really?

[G]

Oh, yeah. I got T boned. I qualified second, and as I made the left hand turn, boom. No, it was a right hand turn. It was the old track. Made a right hand turn, boom. I got T boned out of the race.

[B]

He's never forgiven Brian Austin Green to this day.

[G]

No, I think it was a professional jet skier. A woman. I forget what her name is, but she was a professional jet skier.

[C]

Yeah, hold on, let me go through my Rolodex.

[G]

Yeah, she tagged me first turn out of the race.

[A]

Wow.

[G]

There you go.

[A]

Good weekend. It's one of those. It is one of those things where you go, like you say, I would always give the speech to everybody because I. I've done it five times, and I would go, look, everyone's been practicing, everyone's been training, everyone's been going up to Willow Springs. You know, people like staying in hotels in Willow Springs. And months into this, by the time the race starts, you've done four full days at Willow Springs. You've done like two or three track days, practice and qualifying. And by the time it gets down, down to it, you have multiple, multiple days. And it's not like, hey, it's a celebrity softball game. Bring your mitten, come on down. Like, it's not that. It's like days and days and days. And I would always say, like, look, just get five laps in clean. Like, just don't dive bomb somebody who's turning into turn one and take them out and take you out. It's so much work, you know, there's so much into it. It's not. It's not fair. And you give them the whole speech and inevitably you go into the hairpin on lap one. And some nut job would just cut way inside, and you're like, oh, my God, they're pushing you against the wall. Like, what happened to the speech?

[B]

Yeah, they were on the same page.

[A]

I thought we sort of agreed that everyone was working real hard, and we deserve to get some good clean laps in. And you can pass cleanly, you know, but get settled in.

[C]

They looked at you like a sucker, like a chump.

[B]

I know who I'm ramming first.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[G]

But then the fun thing is, when you do the race, I'm sure you've done it where you start as a pro and then you start in the back of the field. You start, what is it, 10 seconds, 15 seconds behind the celebrities.

[A]

It's supposed to be 30 seconds, but no one does that because we push

[G]

the pace car to go further up.

[A]

Right.

[G]

So when the flag drops, we're pretty much like 15 seconds, 10 seconds behind them.

[A]

Yeah, there's the pace car's in the front of the celebrities, and the pros don't have their own pace car. But I gave all the pros a speech, too, about camaraderie and about sportsmanship. How'd that go about God fearing? They all left. Like I. I said to him, I said, listen, pros, we're professionals. It's in our title. So let's act professional. You know, we'll get behind the celebrities now. Let's get queued up.

[C]

Let them have their moment.

[B]

You said this is the pro drivers. Yes, we're professionals.

[A]

It's our. How can you race pro if you weren't a professional?

[B]

Good point.

[A]

Let's be professional. Let's act professionally. I said, we'll get around the hairpin, we'll get queued up, and then we'll go. We can't. Don't just take off around. And everyone just took off.

[G]

Everybody takes off.

[A]

Yeah. Pass those ass wipes. Don't worry about them. All right, then. My seat broke, and it was a funny story. Anyway, let me tell you about legal Zoom goals for 2019. Well, mine do more. Stand up. I've been doing more. Stand up. Stand up straighter. I've been working on my posture.

[B]

You can do two for one on that one.

[C]

All kinds of stuff.

[A]

That's right. You got goals in 2019. Maybe you want to start a business, secure your family's future. LegalZoom's here to help. With their network of independent attorneys licensed in all 50 states, LegalZoom can help navigate your legal needs. Wills, trusts, LLCs, trademarks, contract reviews, and more. LegalZoom help more than 4 million people. LegalZoom, not a law firm, so you won't get charged the billable hours. Mark Garagos will tell you. Go to LegalZoom. If you can get it done at LegalZoom, go to LegalZoom. Make this year the year you get it done for your family. Get it done for your business. Big or small. It's all legalzoom. Right, Dawson? Make a difference in your life this year by visiting legalzoom.com now. And for special savings, be sure to enter promo code Adam in the referral box. And check out LegalZoom, where life meets legal. That's LegalZoom.com Christy Carlson, World Champion Jets. Here you go. Took you out in 94. And then in 95 Anthony Edwards from ER.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

Took you out.

[G]

I was taken out.

[A]

Yeah. People will take you out. I had hill set. Female swimmer. God. She kept trying to take. Take me out and hairpin nuts.

[B]

Dana Torres or Dara Torres?

[A]

Yeah, Dara Torres. Yeah. She should be arrested.

[B]

Really.

[A]

I mean she just like what she did. It's like crazy. Like. Like there's a thing. There's like. It's. I don't know, it's. It's like you go to an ATM and you've been standing there. You can't just go walk in front of the person when the next person leaves. Like there's a line. There's a thing. You gotta. You gotta pick your spot.

[C]

Social contract.

[A]

You can't just. You can't just do that, right? Me nuts. All right, Mark, Sorry, that was a digression. How about next season for the passage? How are we looking for that?

[G]

I think we're doing pretty good. I was hoping that we would find something out in the next few weeks, but I think we'll have to wait until May to get the official.

[A]

I was just looking down. It says you got four nephews that are all professional motocross guys.

[G]

Yeah, my brother has four. Four boys and they were all professional motocrossers.

[A]

Wow. So your brother had to be really into it like because you got to get him out there.

[G]

Brother still into it. My brother still was wrenching for Chad Reed until last year.

[A]

You got to get these guys like loaded up and out to the track early, right?

[G]

My sister in law, she was the one that did that.

[A]

Really?

[G]

Because my brother was back in the day, remember they used to have to take the box vans and travel. This was before. Now they. They send the semi, right? And the mechanics can fly out. But the mechanics used to take a box Van and travel all over the US In a box van.

[A]

Oh, just a pale van. Just a regular van.

[G]

But that's how the mechanic. That's how the mechanics. Sorry, I'm an idiot.

[A]

If you watch on any Sunday, I think which was a dot. Okay. You ever heard of that doc?

[B]

No.

[A]

So there's a big. There were, there were. There were the few big docs, like early 70s. There was like, like an endless summer. There was like a surf one and there was like on any Sunday was like Steve McQueen was in it. Like all these guys and they'd show these guys like they'd have to load up their van and drive it across the country. Their motorcycle in the back and then go do their can am race or whatever or their. Was it canon flat track or whatever it was. And it's a very slice of the 70s if you ever want to watch. But it's a good dock and it lets you know like where everyone was in 1974. Whenever the hell. Whenever the hell it was. But it was like one of the bigger docks of the 70s.

[G]

And SoCal was like the mecca for motocross. It was Indian Dunes and Carlsbad.

[A]

Yep. All places I heard of from other people whose dads took them there.

[G]

I. I grew up there. That's where I, that's where I spent every single weekend was at Indian Dunes, which is right by Piru and Fillmore. In that area there 126 whole things

[A]

on YouTube if you want to watch on any Sunday. Yeah, I don't think my wife would go for that with the, with my son. No, he went in the swimming pool and she almost lost her mind because it was 50.

[G]

No, we were talking about this the other day. My. My sister in law would take four boys and there would usually be another boy along, a friend or a cousin. And she would take them in a. In a box van and she would go to Loretta. Loretta Lynn's, which is out in the south somewhere, I believe. But it's a big motocross place for, you know, young people and.

[A]

Loretta Lynn.

[C]

Loretta Lynn, like actual Loretta Lynn?

[G]

Yeah, I believe so.

[C]

My God.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Wow.

[F]

Look that up. Google that.

[C]

Make him write.

[G]

It's a big thing for youth motocross really. But she did all the traveling. My brother was busy working.

[A]

It's one of those things where as far as hand eye coordination goes, it's good to get started in MMA at a young age, I guess. Everything helps. Pool, mma, basketball, it's all helps football. Young age. But you could be a college Athlete and transition to, like, mixed martial arts or something like that at some point, if you're a good athlete or whatever. But the motorcycle stuff, you don't get started at five and a half. Forget it. You don't hop on at 13. Like, it's not going to work, right? Yeah, no.

[G]

I started riding when I was. My brother got me on a bike when I was three.

[A]

Wow.

[G]

And I started racing when I was five. And then I stopped. I retired for a little bit because I couldn't get a scratch on my face because I was a model.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That's why I pulled off the circuit.

[G]

And then I got back into it when I was much later in life and. Yeah, you miss out.

[A]

What kind of great family do you come from where they somehow expose you to dirt bike racing and modeling simultaneously, spontaneously?

[G]

Well, my. I'm Dutch immigrants. My mother is Indonesian. My. My father's Dutch.

[A]

Yeah, but what. What's. What's. What's going on? Like, I. I don't know. How did they call me Mark Paul?

[G]

Like, why did. Why is my name Mark Paul? Why am I. Why do I have a hyphenated name when my brothers and sisters just have standard? My brother's Mike. It's not even Michael.

[A]

Wait a minute. I don't even have a middle name.

[B]

He's getting worse by.

[G]

I have a middle name, too. Mark Paul. And then I have a middle name.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

We gotta broker some kind of deal here.

[G]

Yeah, I could give you the middle name.

[A]

Let's hear.

[G]

I have enough. It's Harry. Why is that funny?

[B]

Adam. Harry Carola.

[D]

I like it.

[A]

Your parents, man.

[G]

So weird.

[A]

They love you guys so much.

[G]

So weird.

[A]

So they're just really into their kids, huh? I didn't. No, they were.

[B]

No.

[A]

How'd you get. How'd you get into modeling? And look, here's the thing about. About dirt bike. First thing first. You need a dirt bike. You need an XR75 or YZ80 or whatever the hell kids are putting around on. We're looking at pictures of you.

[B]

How did he get into modeling? I was in a young. Mark. Mark Paul Guessler.

[A]

You're using no helmet, riding on yacht.

[G]

That's the first thing I see. I see no helmet.

[C]

What is that?

[A]

You gotta get a dirt bike. You gotta get a van. You gotta get leathers, you gotta get boots. You need things to go out. Someone's gotta haul your ass out to the track and everything.

[B]

There's no pickup games in motocross.

[A]

Right? So what happened? Yeah, it's the opposite of soccer. Like, there's a dead field over there. Here's a ball, go at it. 80 people. Yeah. How they. So they. They did okay. They were interested.

[G]

They were interested. I was also my. My next sibling. Bless you. My next sibling was 11 years my senior, so I came way later. My mother was 35 at the time, so I. I had a lot of. They put a lot of time into maintenance.

[A]

They matured. Your dad worked at Anheuser Busch. Is that out here? The one out in Van Nuys?

[G]

No, he worked in the one at Torrance. He was at the facility where they did the can making.

[A]

So you're a total local product.

[G]

And I have no idea why they moved to Sun Valley of all places. They moved from Holland to Sun Valley?

[A]

Sun Valley in the Valley. Sun Valley.

[C]

It sounded nice if you're in Holland.

[B]

Like, the valley of the sun.

[G]

Right. And my father worked in Torrance. Like, why wouldn't you have moved to Irvine or, like, somewhere there?

[C]

For anyone who's not here, Sun Valley is nowhere near Torrance.

[G]

It's nowhere near.

[A]

Wow.

[G]

And we lived there. I mean, that was my childhood. We never moved.

[A]

We keep crossing. I played for the Sun Valley Falcons for, like, three years in my Pop Warner football days. We go out to Poly High.

[D]

Poly.

[G]

That's where my brothers and sisters went.

[A]

Yeah, it's a different place now, I would say. Poly High. Not a lot of Dutch folk running around there. I mean, there's always a strong contingent of Dutch, but not as many as they probably. Probably did back when your brother with just a single name was going out there. All right, should we do. I'll do a little lifelock since Mark Paul's here, and then we'll do some news.

[D]

You all.

[G]

I also did one on LegalZoom. I'm also a member of LegalZoom. I'm gonna put in hashtag. What is it? I have to do Adam into the promotion.

[A]

Sure.

[G]

And then do I do Adam in the LegalZoom, too?

[A]

You know, we'll figure it out. Let me see. Promo code, security breaches. Yeah, man. You don't want any of that. Cyber criminals. They're out there. They're malicious. They're trying to bypass things. They're trying to steal your identity. That's the new world order. Everyone's just sitting home ripping off your identity. Identity. In 2019, you need what the great Mark Paul has done. You need protection. You need lifelock. Consumers need to watch out for cyber threats because there's so many cybercriminals out There looking to take your identity. Good thing. Lifelock Identity theft protection adds the power of Norton Security to help protect against threats to your devices you can't easily see or fix on your own. If there's a problem, they have agents who will work to fix it. But you're not going to have a a problem because you're smart and you got yourself some lifelock. Right, Dawson? No one prevents all identity theft or cybercrime or monitor transactions at all businesses. But LifeLock with Norton Security, can see threats you might miss on your own. Go to lifelock.com or call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code ADAM for 10 off your first year. That's promo code [e-mail] or call 1- 800-LIFELOG for 10% off. All right, Mark Paul Gosler here. Wow, what a. What a contrast we've had in rare. Although I grew up in North Hollywood, so you're just a couple of few feet behind me. What street were you on, Mark? Out there in the family home out in Sun Valley.

[G]

Oh, Melviny.

[A]

And what, the two big ones or the two big cross ones you're at?

[G]

Well, you remember where the Mervyns used to be?

[A]

I miss stores like Orbach's and Mervyn's and things like Marshalls. Marshalls used to be Marshalls. When they'd be like, well, you get a Hang 10T shirt, but it's got three feet on it. Not. Not the two.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Or you can do the Izod alligator, but the alligator shaped like a pretzel. Like a lot of that. Shirts with buttons but no button. The buttonholes go in the other direction. It's not going up and down. Like that's where you would go.

[C]

Awesome.

[A]

Now. Yeah, so, yeah, so sorry, the. What are we talking about? The Mervyns? Yeah, you live next to the Mervyns.

[G]

I'm trying to look at the address right now, actually, because I want to know what the crossroad is. Because, you know, when you're a kid, you don't remember. I can visualize it, but I don't remember the. I remember we used to get off at Roscoe.

[A]

Yeah, Roscoe's a big one. You get off. You get off the five at Roscoe.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, Like Roscoe and Laurel Canyon.

[A]

You get off at Roscoe, you hang a right and you'll get to Polish Poly High.

[G]

And then I make a left at Poly High International Podcast and then go down that street.

[C]

Only Valley people listen to the show.

[B]

Unless you're in Australia right now.

[A]

Oh, people Love us the local slice of life we offer up here. All right, let's take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll do the news with Mark Paul Gosler. And yeah, give me the news with crap. News with Gina Grad.

[D]

Breaking viral. All those crazy, crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina Grad.

[A]

Trouble in the Middle east, celebrity drunk meltdowns.

[D]

See News with Gina Gina.

[A]

The News with Gina Grad. This half of the show brought to you by Simply Safe and Tommy John and Geico. And now the news with Gina Grad.

[C]

Well, USA Today reports that the former nurse accused of having sex with, with and impregnating an incapacitated woman under his care entered a not guilty plea Tuesday in Maricopa County Superior Court.

[B]

The shaggy defense.

[C]

Yep. Wasn't me. The arraignment hearing was 36 year old Nathan Sutherland's first public court appearance since Phoenix police announced they matched his DNA to the child born to a 29 year old female patient at the Hacienda healthcare facility last month.

[B]

He's still on board with him being an rn, Like a registered nurse.

[C]

This guy's an ornament, an orderly. He's scheduled to appear March 19 for a pretrial conference. Now, during the initial appearance, Sutherland's attorney said there was.

[A]

If he doesn't go to jail, I got a job for him.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

His job is. No, obviously cannot work in that environment anymore. But if something happens, like you're a governor and a picture of you in a klan outfit or something comes out, say, you just get that of kind. Guy just flies to you and he just stands next to you all the time. And for the next. He just shadows you for like the next week. And you're doing press conferences. At some point someone goes, what's this guy? Hey, man, tell him what you did. Tell me your story. Okay, okay. So you had sex with an incapacitated lady while at work and impregnated her. Okay, all right. I put on a bathrobe with a dunce cap. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And that guy. And he'd just go on to the next hot zone. Yeah, you know what I mean? He might be shadowing Harvey Weinstein one week, you know, Kevin Spacey the next day. The politician. Celebrities like whatever it is you just stand next to. Eventually someone goes, who's that guy? I'm a chill.

[B]

Please welcome Bill Cosby and guest.

[A]

That's right. That's right.

[C]

Well, his lawyer said there was minimum evidence his client committed the crime. And they Intend to have their own DNA test performed. So we'll see if that helps them out at all.

[A]

I do. Like when we. When you have your own whatever. Like when you have your own lie detector. We're gonna do my own breathalyzer.

[B]

Own expert.

[A]

Get my own expert in here.

[C]

Yeah, that's good.

[A]

Let me tell you about experts, which I've learned from Gargas. I just grew up thinking experts were experts. You just pay people to be experts. I know I was a little late to the party here, but you can find an expert in anything. Then Mark Geragos can pay that expert and then they will just spit out whatever it is you paid them to say. That's how experts work in court.

[C]

Yeah, but to us lay people say in the jury box, they're an expert.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

So what are we questioning them for?

[A]

Well, again, if an expert just wanders into a courthouse and gives his opinion or her opinion. I did her thing there. Again, see, that wasn't a sincere use of it. But the him versus. But if they're paid by one side, then they usually. That should be disclosed. That should be part of it.

[C]

Absolutely. Well, lawmakers in Hawaii are considering completely banning cigarette sales in the near future. Sort of. So here's how they want to do it. Hawaii was the first state to ban the sale of cigarettes to anyone under 21. That was back in 2016. The proposed bill would progressively increase the state minimum age to buy cigarettes to 30 years years old next year. Then by 2022, you have to be at least 50.

[B]

Then 120.

[C]

Hold on. By 2024, nobody under the age of 100 can buy cigarettes, effectively making them prohibited to everybody. The reps who proposed this bill said, quote, the cigarette is considered the deadliest artifact in human history. The cigarette is an unreasonably dangerous and defective, defective product, killing half of its long term. The proposed measure would not include E cigarettes. And they also have the highest taxes on cigarettes. 320 a pack in Hawaii.

[A]

It's weird. I mean, the sort of battle on tobacco is like one of those things where it's like, it's not good. I don't want my kids to smoke. But I don't think we need to villainize everything. Turn it into something like, you know, plenty of good guys smoked. Historically, they were fine. They won a few wars, you know, built a couple bridges. Like it's a thing. I don't want it for my kids. You know, you. If you smoke, you know, a pack a day, then you die at 60 instead of 80.

[D]

Right.

[A]

That's. That's kind of how it goes. I don't, I don't get where all the. There's many, many things we do that aren't great for us that we engage in anyway and they're unhealthy behaviors and we get it. There's plenty of food that's bad for you. There's plenty of booze. There's plenty of everything.

[C]

But have you ever gotten hurt from third hand drinking?

[A]

I would say there is a secondhand. Well, I threw up on a guy once from drinking too much. So that was definitely like a second hand. And I was wearing his sweater and he was wearing one of his sweaters. So I took both his sweaters out. He had a red sweater and a blue sweater and I took them both out. Name was John, lived up the street from me. So. All right. I just feel like it's fine, but we don't need to just. I don't know, we don't need to declare war on everything all the time. I don't care if people smoke.

[C]

But it's like you said, I mean, we've already done such a great job shaming smokers as a society that it's pretty much taken care of itself.

[A]

I was at Road Atlanta, famous Road Atlanta. Watch for like a three day race there on a weekend once. And I was just watching one guy who smoked and he'd walk around the big semi truck and kind of look around and squat down. He just didn't want to smoke in amongst the people. He didn't want to deal with it, you know.

[G]

Shame he was.

[A]

Shame he's going to be there, the whole shame. Yeah, he was there the whole weekend. So he wanted to smoke though. He just had to go hide. So we're good? Yeah, we're cover.

[C]

Everybody calm down. Hawaii. Well, the Free form channel has ordered. We've been talking a lot about reboots because there's a lot.

[B]

I love the Freeform channel. They run Disney movies all the time. I DVO in.

[A]

I just got Finding Nemo.

[C]

Oh, well, is that right?

[G]

Yeah, I'm always. How do you find the DVDs for those?

[B]

Those are, those are hard to find. People don't part with those. I record them off TV and keep them on my, you know, DirecTV DVR.

[G]

That sounds hard.

[C]

Well, and Disney ends up sounding like, like, like Helzberg with the diamonds when they used to have those commercials. It's going back in the Vault for another 10 years. You better get it now. So those are hard to come by

[B]

that was a strong arm tactic.

[C]

But for those of you we talked about 90210 the other day, there's going to be another reboot that is planned. The Freeform Channel has ordered Party of Five as a reboot to the series. Now it's gonna be a little different this one. The one hour drama will follow the five Acosta children as they navigate daily life struggles to survive as a family after their parents are suddenly deported to Mexico. Sony Picture Television Studios will produce it and. And off to the Races.

[B]

Timely.

[A]

Nice to watch that show. Young Jennifer Love Hewitt.

[C]

It's just Love.

[A]

Oh, it's Love, right. She told me to call her Love. Yeah, just a bunch of good looking people in the Victorian house raising themselves. Raising themselves. I'm down with that. But they'd be remiss if they didn't come out on Cinco de Mayo, right?

[B]

Yeah, that'd be a good album.

[A]

That's when you launch. Right. What's the network called the Freeform Channel?

[B]

Reform.

[A]

Are they? So they're coming up with their new with content now, aggregating Disney stuff or whatever.

[B]

They're sort of a secondary channel. I never heard of them until I found Finding Nemo one day. Oh my God, it's fantastic.

[C]

That's good.

[A]

Is it? Do you find it online?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

The Freeform Channel.

[B]

It's offered next to Disney Channel because I scroll past those when I look for stuff.

[G]

Other commercials.

[B]

Yeah. So you have to fast forward through commercials.

[A]

Drew is.

[B]

Thanks, Dean.

[A]

Doctor, I heard about. God, the typhus outbreak in Los Angeles that Drew's been screaming about for a while. But now it's on with all the homeless and all the rats running around and all the fleas.

[C]

And to Pasadena and to Long Beach.

[A]

Oh, really? Well, Drew lives in Pasadena.

[C]

That's why he's so angry.

[A]

Yeah, bring Drew in. Drew is supposed to be here a little early.

[C]

I have something for Drew.

[A]

Say hi to Mark. Paul Gasso. There, there, Drew. Watch the hand, it's got a hurt shoulder. Easy. Remember, do no harm. Simply Safe.

[F]

Thank you, Adam.

[A]

I'll tell you about Simply Safe. No one should feel unsafe at home. Period. Fear has no place in your home. It's been Simply Safe's mission from day one. Two eyes in there. Simply Safe blankets your home and safety round the clock. Professional monitoring. Make sure police are on the way. War when you need them. The Verge calls Simplisafe the best home security and it's Wirecutter's top pick. So protect your home and you do it. The way we do it. Here you go with Simplisafe. Peel and stick, up and under an hour, up and running in under an hour. Go online, order what you need. Batteries. Last up to 10 years. No drilling, no pulling wires. Protect your home today and get free [e-mail]. so, Drew, I thought of you. I saw this type of thing first.

[F]

First, I have horrible shoulder problems.

[A]

Right?

[F]

You've heard me complaining about it forever.

[A]

Yes.

[F]

Looking at you is why I do

[A]

not get my shoulder evaluated.

[F]

I'm not gonna do it. I'm not even gonna get an mri because that goes to what you're dealing with. I'm not gonna let it happen.

[C]

And this is his second surgery.

[F]

No way. No one's cutting him.

[A]

The one that they did.

[G]

The surgery on the left is amazing. It's a 20 year old now.

[F]

Just say now.

[B]

Kind of that bedside manner.

[A]

Yeah. Mark's in pain.

[B]

Not making that mistake.

[A]

He's earned the nickname the Crying Dutchman.

[B]

Wow, that's good.

[F]

Oh, it just looks so miserable.

[A]

He has super duper miserable. And now he's a little more miserable.

[F]

Sometimes when you. When you stated call it.

[A]

It helps you.

[F]

It makes you feel better.

[A]

Oh, okay. You purged your misery.

[F]

At least he doesn't have typhus.

[A]

Yes. So I thought of you because I saw news about typhus and Los Angeles and rats and homeless and fecal matter and all the stuff you were talking about.

[F]

For how long have I been talking about it?

[A]

It's been over a year.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Thank you. And you hear weird little like, I always just call them, like, tells. Like, tells. Like for your city. Like I always say, the first time they put razor wire around the freeway sign. Someone should have wondered, what's going on? What kind of city are we running that we need to turn our freeway signs into, like, a gulag for letters. Reflective letters. You shall stay here. No one will get you. So we do that. And then there are little weird things you do. Like you're sitting at a signal and you look at a fire station. And, like, fire stations are like. You usually see guys out polishing up the rig or cooking chili or the dalmatian or something. But you see the plaques, like, child safe zone. Like, drop your child here. Like, don't. Don't throw it in the Nile.

[F]

Another tell. This morning it rained. And the freeways now have potholes. Forget the surface streets. Forget it.

[A]

You barely drive. That's not a sign. That's just us on. That's us coming unglued. When you hear Stories about the rains are coming. So the LAPD is clearing the Los Angeles river of all the homeless that are bivouacked away. Remember, it's like you're here. Like if someone's in the 50s and they're just driving around the 50s, like smoking a pipe, listening, laughing at a Bob Hope joke and listening to some Bing Crosby or something, and they start talking about, like, oh, we gotta take the LA river and just clean the humanity. The humanity is gathered.

[F]

Syringes.

[A]

Yeah. And we put the barbed wire around and, oh, what's that plaque in front of the fire? Like, they wouldn't know what to make of it. Right. They'd just be shocked. They'd be shocked.

[F]

So the type of thing I knew it was inevitable. Let me say this inevitable. I'm going to describe something else that's inevitable after I describe what happened. So when I saw the gigantic, literally dumps developing on either side of the homeless encampments, feces, food, debris. And then you look, if you go up, walk up to them, they're alive, there's thousands of rats. And every, every one of them, I thought, oh, we are going to have a problem. The only reason humans live in concentrated environments we call cities is because they manage sanitation and rodents. That's why we live, do this. So I thought, wow. Typhus is endemic in Southern California. The natural pool, the reservoir, is usually rats. Excuse me. It's called murine typhus where I live because the mice had it, possums have it, raccoon, raccoons have it. And so a few cases develop every year in the summertime. My son had it. It's horrible. It's a terrible illness. And I thought, oh, well, we're gonna have a major outbreak of typhus. Well, last summer it kicked in. It kicked in. And now it's continued to escalate, although the government says, oh, it's no big deal. Nothing, nothing. It's just a little typhus we always have.

[A]

Type touch of typhus.

[F]

I'll tell you what got. Here's the tell in terms of the outbreak for me, aside from the first fact, there's been a massive outbreak. Ridiculous. It's a dangerous illness. They're even saying, oh, totally treatable with antibiotics. People die of typhus. Make no mistake about it.

[A]

It's a horrible thing. Especially people who don't get treated like homeless people availing themselves of treatment.

[F]

But I'll tell you my tell. It's usually an illness that's up in the foothills by Pasadena. That's why we have it. Up there. Never seen it cross the 405. Major outbreak in Long Beach.

[A]

Like that bobcat. That's right. Cougar. Whatever. Bobcat and cougar, the same thing. Oh, one likes younger show pictures.

[F]

We have bobcats in our bag. You have bobcats in your yard. I'm sure, I'm sure.

[A]

I don't know. I'm scared of my dog.

[F]

Anyway, here's the problem I don't hear about.

[A]

Let me finish this mountain lion.

[F]

So they've done nothing. The outbreak is accelerating.

[A]

Yes.

[F]

Now, the way typhus works, it's in the rats. It gets on the.

[A]

The fleas.

[F]

The fleas and the rats go out into the community. The fleas get on our pets, and that's how we get it. So there's a vector.

[B]

It's.

[F]

It's rat and flea. Which is. Which is why I knew it would spread all over the place. Because you have a vector. It's not human to human.

[A]

Can't you just talk about Mark's shoulder? Hold on, I want to leave.

[B]

Mark's move. The family.

[F]

Wait, I'm getting to the good part.

[A]

So here.

[G]

Went back to Atlanta.

[F]

So there's just like. When you don't vet. When you vaccinate. Viral epidemics are inevitable in concentrated populations. When you don't control the rat populations, the bacteria that live on the rats get into the human population. Typhus is first because that's endemic in our area. But there's another bacteria that lives in these rats. It's more contagious. Three cases just came up in Wyoming. It's making our way to us. It's called Yersinia pestis. It is inevitable that we have an arsenia outbreak as well. As the population of rats reach a critical level, the yersinia breaks out into the human population. You may have heard of yersinia. The more common name for it is bubonic plague. Oh, it's inevitable. Inevitable.

[A]

I gotta say, there's no such thing as just piles of humanity living on top of each other, defecating in the street without. Without God or Allah or nature. Just saying, okay, we're gonna have to thin the herd like a little hill.

[C]

Isn't that how the Enlightenment period came after the dark Ages? Because half the population of the world died off and people had room to start.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, but they got. Since that time, there was a general acknowledgement that, oh, we can't have concentrated human population with rodents. Oh, no, no problem now. We're modern now. It's no problem. We don't need vaccinations because vaccines don't hurt us. You don't understand. They don't bother us. Look, this all is inevitable and our government is failing. It's a failure of civilization. Civilization. It's a fundamental failure of civilization. I am personally beside myself. I've been screaming about it. Adam's heard me screaming about it for a year on the Adam and Drew show, and we're in it now. Somebody do something.

[C]

Are there any other first world nations that are dealing with this?

[F]

No other country allows this to happen because they treat their mentally ill. We refuse to do that.

[A]

Yeah, there's a this. When I'm all right, stepping back and going, just let people do what they gotta do and will be somehow. That's an evolved stance on things. Is not evolved any more than your kid wanting to drive at 9 and smoke a doobie behind the wheel like

[C]

it's across the screen.

[A]

There needs to be irresponsible. Well, there's a kind of a. To me, the gestalt is a sort of. Of breakdown of authority. Like, nobody just nobody wants to be the man. Like no one wants to go, hey, I'm in charge. I know it. I'm trained. This is my job. There shall not be this. This is what I'm paid to do. No more of this. It's like there's the bigger kind of picture. If you just sort of get out of this sort of particulars and you get into just a big broader sort of macro of the whole thing. It's like nobody wants to tell anybody what to do or lay down the law or go here. No, not in my city. I run it like this because no one wants to be called cruel.

[F]

No, no, it's worse than that. I think the 60s and 70s, you and I lived through this. It was about cast. Don't trust adults. Cast off anybody over 35. You can't trust them.

[C]

You're the man.

[F]

Yeah, they're the man. Well, now you're the man. And you don't want to be the man. You don't want to be an adult. Adults behave a certain way and then we can't be. That's not cool. So we don't manage our colleges. We let kids do whatever the hell they want. Right? They're in charge. They know the answer to everything. They're the repositories of great wisdom. And we don't manage our cities because, hey, man, it's modern times. These are noble homeless people making a choice to live on the street with the rats.

[A]

The main thing I think political Expediency. I think if you're the kind of hard line. Not hard line, but let's just say you're Bill Belichick and you just go, I'm not. You show up late to three team meetings, your ass is cut, and that's why he. He wins. But then there's a picture of some poor guy walking out of the locker room and Bill Belichick standing at the door. And then they go, bully Bill Belichick. And no one wants to be that guy. No one wants to be the guy who goes, hey, this is a city. You don't sleep on the sidewalk. We get you up off the sidewalk. We have rules here.

[F]

But it's the opposite of compassion. It's the opposite of compassion.

[A]

Well, yes, it's like.

[F]

It's not helping. These people are languishing and dying, and they're getting these infectious diseases before anybody. And they're ill to begin with. It's. It's unthinkable that we allow them to be like this.

[A]

I agree. Thank God for Tommy John. I'm wearing my Tommy John's right now. Your shoulder would feel better if you were. That heal you from the waist up. Valentine's Day, man.

[G]

I do have a pair.

[A]

Oh, they're good.

[G]

I was wondering if I was wearing them today.

[F]

Come on now. I.

[A]

They are the best. Drew, you check. He's medically authorized to check what kind of underwear he wearing. Redefining comfort for men and women with luxurious soft, feather light, moisture wicking underwear that moves with you. No pinching, no bunching, no riding up. Still looking for a good Valentine's gift. You can get one for her, you can get one for him. They have matching his and her sets in last year. The limited edition stuff sold out in less than a week. So let's not hesitate. Best pair you'll ever wear or it's free. Guarantee. Tommy. Tommy John. No adjustment needed. Tommy John. I'm wearing mine now. Just the best, right? Dawson Shop limited edition Valentine's Day gift sets and get 20% off your first [e-mail] Adam. That's tommyjohn.com Adam for 20% off only at tommyjohn.com Tommyjohn.com hey, check this out.

[C]

Yes, I'm wearing Tommy John right now. There you go.

[A]

Oh, geez.

[B]

But I see the women's stuff dives over the console.

[C]

Burgundy. They're super comfortable.

[D]

Yeah, we.

[A]

I think we now have a homeless czar in thoughts.

[F]

I will tell you that. Listen, I've actually been. I cannot Stand it. So I've been getting politically active. I'm working with a state senator to try to expand gravely disabled so you can include in gravely disabled inability to house yourself. I'm trying to get a conservatorship expansion so people who are really out of it can be conservative and treated. And Catherine Barger, the city, LA county supervisor, has made a coalition. My God. With the aclu and God bless them. I don't care if it's Beelzebub we're getting into bed with. We got to solve this problem. And so I'm delighted to welcome them into the. Into the boat and into the boat of solutions. And so it's starting to change. It's starting to change.

[A]

There's this thing where it's called homelessness. So every time I see some expert or somebody speaking out from the mayor's office or whatever, they go, it's the lack of low cost housing.

[F]

I can't do it anymore. It's over. That rhetoric. Laughing when they say that.

[A]

But it's like saying this guy's a criminal who commits armed robbery. If we just give him his own cash register, he wouldn't have to go to the 7:11. And it's like, no, he's criminal. He's a criminal. He's a criminal. Yeah, but he just wants give him it. We need more cash registers. We need low cost cash registers. We bring them to the criminals. And then they wouldn't have to go to the second. Jesus Christ. Are you guys. They are. I don't know if they're lying or stupid or retarded or like, what's going on?

[F]

People are blinded by ideology, for one thing. They get this point of view and it's like they can't get out of it. They're just not looking at reality.

[C]

But it's such radical denial. Because I've said this on the show before, homeless people were referred to on the news as urban campers. Oh, I heard it. So when you just relabel it, all of a sudden the problem goes away.

[F]

Some. Somebody I was talking to Adam also, check this out. They're beginning to talk about the problem with dumping on the sides of street. And somebody came up with an idea. Have a free day at the dump.

[A]

What can you imagine? Free dump day. I'm making snow angels with my kids in the dump.

[F]

Strangely.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[F]

I mean, they're starting to talk about why is it. Why there's. Why there's sofas on the side of the road, toilet.

[A]

If you go behind this studio 40ft. You see box springs, pallets, sofas. And it's getting tagged now, too. Yes, but. But let's you know, these are the same ass wipes who said, well, we should give out free condoms at the gay bars and give out free syringes to junkies so we don't spread. Okay, good. You. You had a. There's a problem. And you went, how do we do this? And you came up with a fishbowl full of condoms. That's the mattress that's behind the. The studio.

[F]

All I'm saying is that's meant for you, Adam.

[A]

Use that same thinking hat toward dumping stuff in the street. Have a free day at the dump and encourage people to go out to the dump. You done with me?

[F]

Speaking of dumping.

[C]

No, wait, wait. Can he stay for one more?

[A]

All right, one more.

[C]

All right, make it fast so we don't end on such a depressing topic.

[A]

Everybody watch.

[F]

Listen to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show.

[C]

Yes, an outbreak of measles in Southwest Masari.

[G]

Here we go.

[C]

Growing worse by the day. The number of cases soaring to 50 as of Monday, according to state health officials. Yeah, and also different populations, though, because there's a similar outbreak among Orthodox Jews in New York State because the kids aren't vaccinated.

[F]

So I'm thinking this again. When I said. Remember I said viral outbreaks are inevitable in concentrated populations of humans, even when there are vaccines, when the population is not fully vaccinated. So it's inevitable. And here it comes. I'm beginning to think we all should get our measles titers checked to make sure we're adequately covered and not get revaccinated. Because your titers, your immune titers tend to drop with time. You should really check it out.

[A]

Let's do it.

[C]

So if you get it at birth as a booster shot, that's not gonna.

[F]

There were different vaccines at different times. People born before a certain point, like, I think before 65, may have an issue. And all of us probably should get our titers checked if we're having any kind of.

[B]

We do that on a very special outcome.

[F]

I'll do it.

[A]

How do we do it?

[F]

Just blood draw.

[A]

Simple. All right.

[C]

How are you with crying?

[A]

I am not great.

[C]

Again.

[F]

You won't even feel it.

[B]

Oh, sweet vial of blood. Or like a finger pin prick.

[F]

No, file of blood. And it might be a little costly, too. That's what I'm. I'll look into it.

[A]

Look into it. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Jenny McCarthy.

[F]

No, what I'm saying is I just don't know, to have widespread titers. Checks may get a little expensive. I don't know if we look into it.

[A]

Can someone just. Next time you see Jenny McCarthy, they go, Hey, I just had a question. Tell us what you're thinking about so we know exactly what not to do in the next 10 years. What are your thoughts?

[B]

She might take that the wrong way, but I, I'm willing to take the

[A]

chance, but for humanity, you know what I mean?

[B]

You must know her. Do you ask her this question?

[G]

No, I don't. And I, I would ask her that question if, if I did know her.

[A]

I mean, they're guys like Drew that are board certified and whatnot. But she was in Playboy. Yeah, we should listen to her. That's why we should listen to her. She's got fake tits. We should definitely listen to her. When she was especially talking about medicine.

[C]

I'm sorry, but was Dr. Juron singled out?

[A]

I don't think so. He knows Chris Hardwick, but they're not close. Oh, they are close. All right. Well, that's a tie. All right, let me tell you about geico. Everyone's got the to do list. How about you save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance and you don't have to go anywhere? Just go to Geico. 15 minutes, you could be saving 15% or more on your auto insurance. Take that extra money, put it in your pocket, man. It'll be the best thing you do all day. You need insurance and you want to save money. Good. Go over to your computer, go to geico.com, spend a couple minutes and see just how much you could be [e-mail] Diamond Dallas page and Joe Coy in studio tomorrow.

[C]

Together again for the first time.

[A]

Together again. Mark Paul Gosler, the passage. Congratulations. Mondays, 9pm on Fox. Check that out. You want to shoot him a tweet and do it at mpg. Oh, miles per kilo. I love that.

[B]

How many car companies came after you for that?

[C]

Handle begging.

[G]

They haven't really. Let's put it out there. It's for sale, guys. It's for sale.

[A]

Do it. All right, Live shows everywhere. If you want to go see the premiere of my stand up special. Not Taco Bell material. You can see it playing in 20 cities including Burbank. Out here. Get your tickets@tug tugg.com and get enough people, they'll come to town near you. Bob Bryant's got his socks there. Go to AdamCroll.com and get that before they all dry up. Check out Road Hard, my movie on tubi t u b I dot com until next time. Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew and Mark Paul Gosser and Gina Grant and Paul Bryan. Say mahalo.

[C]

If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?

[A]

All right, that was Adam Cole show 2504 with Mark Paul Gosler and Dr. Drew.

[B]

That does it for his pillow Classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for

[A]

an all new installment. Until then and get it ontra free. This is

[C]

with movies like Interstellar Dream Girls and Gladiator.

[A]

Are you not entertained? And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants,

[C]

the fairly odd Parents and Ghosts. Pluto TV is always free.

[A]

Huzzah.

[C]

Pluto TV. Stream now pay Never.