Newsom Unveils New ‘Plan’ to End Homelessness + Comic Jiaoying Summers + COPS Producer Morgan Langley

Summary

Adam Carolla Show Episode Summary Episode: "Newsom Unveils New ‘Plan’ to End Homelessness + Comic Jiaoying Summers + COPS Producer Morgan Langley"
Release Date: May 14, 2025

The latest episode of The Adam Carolla Show dives deep into a range of pressing issues, blending sharp humor with candid discussions. Hosted by Adam Carolla, the episode features comedian Zhao Ying Summers and Morgan Langley, the producer behind Season 37 of COPS. The conversation navigates through scandals in the entertainment industry, critiques of political strategies, insights into law enforcement portrayals, and societal observations.

---

1. P. Diddy’s Controversial Scandal and Artistic Integrity (00:00 – 04:15)

The episode kicks off with a heated discussion about rapper and mogul P. Diddy, focusing on allegations that he hired male prostitutes to engage in degrading acts with his girlfriend. Adam Carolla criticizes this behavior as not being genuine artistry, likening it to theft in various creative fields.

Adam Carolla [03:05]: "Ripping off somebody's comedy, ripping off someone's fine art... that is not you creating something, you fucking losers."

Carolla expresses frustration over the lack of originality and the prevalence of what he perceives as cultural theft in the music industry.

---

2. Dark Comedy: Exploring Violence and Self-Defense (05:31 – 08:10)

The conversation takes a darker turn as the hosts joke about self-defense in abusive relationships. Zhao Ying Summers humorously suggests exaggerated retaliatory actions against abusive partners, highlighting the absurdity and severity of such situations.

Zhao Ying Summers [08:15]: "I feel very bad for a woman in that kind of situation dating those abusive narcissists. But if it was me, I was Cassie... I'll have a Korean scissor. I'm like, oh no, I just cut his dick off and it's self-defense."

This segment underscores the blend of humor and serious commentary characteristic of the show.

---

3. The Practice of Drinking One's Own Urine (14:33 – 17:28)

Adam Carolla and his guests delve into the controversial topic of urine consumption, discussing its purported health benefits and the psychological barriers surrounding it. They reference athletes and practitioners who incorporate this practice into their routines.

Jason Mayhem Miller [15:56]: "He told me that it makes him strong. And I tried it and I didn't feel."

The hosts share personal anecdotes, blending humor with a critique of unconventional health trends.

---

4. AI and Animated Memories: A Glimpse into the Future (20:08 – 25:07)

The discussion shifts to technology, specifically the use of AI to animate old photographs. Adam shares his experience of having a childhood boxing photo animated, reflecting on the uncanny nature of bringing static images to life.

Adam Carolla [23:34]: "They took it and now it's a clip of me skipping rope, which is kind of interesting."

This segment highlights the intersection of technology and personal history, emphasizing both fascination and discomfort.

---

5. Deodorant Advertising and Societal Changes (27:00 – 34:08)

Carolla critiques modern deodorant commercials, humorously analyzing how advertising has evolved to target increasingly specific body areas due to societal changes and perceived hygiene needs.

Adam Carolla [29:46]: "Balls under boob and butt... Pits, cracks. Yeah."

The hosts mock the overcomplication of personal hygiene products, using satire to comment on societal obsessions with cleanliness and body image.

---

6. Homelessness in California: Governor Newsom’s Plan Under Fire (72:55 – 85:03)

A significant portion of the episode focuses on California Governor Gavin Newsom’s new plan to combat homelessness. Adam Carolla vehemently criticizes the strategy, arguing that it fails to address the root causes such as mental illness and substance abuse.

Adam Carolla [73:20]: "If the state you run has tons of people strewn about sleeping in the street and dying in the street, then you're doing a shitty job of running your state."

He contends that Newsom’s approach is misaligned with the actual needs of the homeless population, emphasizing the importance of skilled trades and personal responsibility over governmental intervention.

---

7. COPS and Morgan Langley’s Insights on Law Enforcement Narratives (137:12 – 157:03)

Morgan Langley provides an insider’s perspective on the COPS television show, discussing how societal changes and media portrayals have impacted public perceptions of law enforcement. The conversation highlights the increasing challenges faced by police officers, including higher rates of ambush killings and the necessity for de-escalation training.

Morgan Langley [104:35]: "In 2020, there were more ambush killings of cops than any year in something like 30 or 40 years."

Carolla and Langley debate the role of media in shaping narratives around police, arguing that biased reporting exacerbates tensions and misconceptions.

---

8. Celebrity News: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Son’s Transformation (67:52 – 86:00)

The hosts briefly touch upon celebrity news, specifically focusing on Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son, Christopher, and his significant weight loss transformation. While celebrating his achievement, they humorously quantify the reduction in "folds," tying it back to earlier jokes about body image.

Adam Carolla [68:14]: "Good for him. Got rid of all the folds. How many linear feet of fold do you think he got rid of?"

This lighthearted segment serves as a segue from more intense discussions to everyday celebrity gossip, maintaining the show’s blend of humor and commentary.

---

9. Al Pacino’s "Cruising" and Depictions of Gay Culture (43:22 – 57:32)

Adam Carolla revisits Al Pacino’s 1980 film Cruising, discussing its controversial portrayal of gay culture and its lasting impact on societal perceptions. The hosts mock the exaggerated signals depicted in the movie, such as the use of color-coded bandanas to signify sexual preferences, blending satire with critique.

Adam Carolla [50:10]: "What about the picture of real... Al Pacino... When you have white in the left pocket means you want a blowjob. Right pocket means you give one."

This segment underscores the show’s tendency to blend pop culture analysis with irreverent humor.

---

10. Final Thoughts and Conclusion (157:03 – End)

As the episode wraps up, Adam Carolla and his guests reflect on the state of media, politics, and societal values. They emphasize the importance of personal responsibility, the detrimental effects of biased narratives, and the need for genuine solutions to societal issues like homelessness and law enforcement challenges.

Adam Carolla [131:11]: "Just focus on culture, values."

The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to engage thoughtfully with societal problems, advocating for solutions rooted in personal accountability and clear-headed analysis.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Adam Carolla [03:05]: "Ripping off somebody's comedy, ripping off someone's fine art... that is not you creating something, you fucking losers."

• Adam Carolla [73:20]: "If the state you run has tons of people strewn about sleeping in the street and dying in the street, then you're doing a shitty job of running your state."

• Morgan Langley [104:35]: "In 2020, there were more ambush killings of cops than any year in something like 30 or 40 years."

• Zhao Ying Summers [08:15]: "I feel very bad for a woman in that kind of situation dating those abusive narcissists. But if it was me, I was Cassie... I'll have a Korean scissor. I'm like, oh no, I just cut his dick off and it's self-defense."

---

Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show masterfully combines humor with incisive commentary on contemporary issues. From dissecting celebrity scandals and societal problems to critiquing media narratives, Carolla and his guests offer a blend of laughter and critical insights. Whether discussing the ethics of artistic originality, the complexities of homelessness solutions, or the portrayal of law enforcement in media, the show provides a thought-provoking and entertaining listen for both regular fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Well, in this episode, very funny. Comedian Zhao Ying Summers comes back, always brings the comedy. Morgan Langley comes in from Cops Season 37. By the way, him and his dad invented the show. And Mayhem's got some news, I got some commentary, and we'll do all that right after this.

[Dawson]

Even more live shows with Adam Carolla at the end of this month in Bellflower, California. Two shows at the Stand Up Comedy Club on May 24th. Then on May 30th, he travels up to Washington for four shows at the Tacoma Comedy Club in Tacoma May 30th and 31st. Then off to Spokane, Washington at the Spokane Comedy Club on June 1st. Tickets for these and more at AdamCarolla.com.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, it's Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla show. Bet Online. It's the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for all your sports betting action. Baseball season is in full swing now and we're into NBA. Got the playoffs, got NHL playoffs. Bet Online has more ways to stay in on the action with the latest odds, news and scores. Bet online even as live in game betting while the games are are being played. So it's never too late to get in on the action. With the largest selection of odds on everything from NLB, NBA, NHL and UFC, BETOnline remains the best online source for all your sports wagering info. And don't forget golf and professional boxing too. In between games, head on over to BetOnline Casino where with all the top Vegas style games including poker and live casino bet online, the game starts here.

[Dawson]

From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, comedian Xiaoyang Summers and the creator of Cops, Morgan Langley. Plus the news and trending top topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now a man who thinks Diddy should be on trial for his garbage music too, Adam Corolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Get it on Got to get on a choice we got a mandate get it on can't stop, won't stop. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling friend. Zhao Ying Summers is back in studio. Very funny. Stand up comedian. She's touring, she's playing everywhere. She's on the road, man. And should I just give your website out?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. You want me to spell it out?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

J I A O Y I n g comedy.com for all the dates.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Xiao Yang.

[Adam Carolla]

So well, we're just talking about P. Diddy. Did he do that? Wait a minute. Was P. Diddy the mastermind behind the police? The police rip off. That's Everything that's wrong with music, I'm fucking tired of arguing with people all the time. They're like, I like that. Yeah, that song's done. When somebody did that song, that somebody else's song, and then you make it about Fat Daddy or whatever the fuck you're doing is not art in any way, shape, or form. Just like when you rip off cashmere. That is not you writing a song. Can we get the fuck over?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's like yesterday you used to rock the show.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes, I used to try. He's doing other flow. He's doing other people's song, also other people's sons.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me explain something. Ripping off somebody's comedy, ripping off someone's fine art, ripping off someone's sculpture, or ripping off someone's design for automobiles or architectures, you ripping them off, that's not you creating something, you fucking losers. Now, it's not their fault. It's our fault for consuming it. Okay, so there should be no sampling ever. Unless it's some blues artist who's a woman from the 40s that we never would have heard of without you sampling it. All right, that's. And I'll be in charge of who gets by. All right, So P. Diddy. Yeah. He's putting the pee in P. Diddy, isn't he?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So I was thinking about this. So the new one is his girlfriend is saying he would hire, like, male prostitutes to pee on her. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard about this. The news. It's hard for the news to deal with this stuff because they don't have a good way to phrase getting peed on.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, and they also have standards, which is like when I did radio back in the day, you could say they have weird rules. You could go, I'm pissed off. But I couldn't say I peed on Cassidy. One is me. They both had the word piss or pee in them. But you can say, I took a piss on Cassie, but you can say I'm pissed off. So it's not about the word. It's kind of about the action. Shandidacombs allegedly forced escort to urinate in Cassidy Ventura's mouth as she choked. As she choked.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Choked on the urine.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, waterboarding.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

There we go.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Wow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think it's called urine boarding.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So the problem. Well, first off, I don't know how male prostitutes work, but.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, I'll take this.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this is definitely worth a tip, because a lot of guys are pee shy.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

And a lot of guys go, if I'm at A public. I can't pee at the airport. And I don't understand these guys. I can piss. If I got to take a piss, I can take a piss in front of the vicar of Christ. I don't care. I gotta piss. You know what I mean? Yeah, but there's a lot of dudes, like, I don't piss in public or for guys at the stall or the guys at the urinal next to me, like, they're pee shy, which speaks to a deeper problem to me, but they're just pee shy. So at a freak off, whipping your tongue out in front of 40 people, sitting around and pissing on somebody, I could see where that would take a certain amount of emotional resilience to overcome that. You know what I'm saying?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But these boys are performers, you know what I mean? They step up when ships are down.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. They get paid for it too.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, they're already paid. The check is cash. Every breath you take. Yeah, I'll be choking them with piss.

[Adam Carolla]

But this is like the great karate movies where I get my opponent down, he's on the ground, and then you're my sensei and you go, finish him. And I go, whoa, I didn't sign up for that. Like, I may be a professional, but I didn't sign up for finish him. You know what I'm saying?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, man.

[Adam Carolla]

So he signed up to shake his ass and wave his dick around, but did he sign up to pee on a young woman bonus, you know what I'm saying?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You want to take home that bonus, you got to get up also.

[Adam Carolla]

What's that? Don't you have to have a conversation? Like if you're peeing on a hot 21 year old where you're like, listen, ma' am, this is just my. It's a gig, you know, I. What. I'm in college. I. You know what? If it's up to me, I wouldn't be doing this right now. But you got to understand, the guys cutting the checks kind of put me up to this. This wasn't my idea, is what I'm.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, I'm just. I'm just a dog, you know, I just here to. To do what my owner says to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

In order to get food. Yeah. I just feel like being a lot of times as, you know, as a president from China, according to J.D. vance, first of all, you know, if you are paid to have sex with people peeing on them, it just. You have to do it. So next time when you come back, they pay you extra money. I Would just pee if I had to. And also I felt so bad for Cassidy because.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, sorry, it's Cassie.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I'm sorry, Cassie.

[Adam Carolla]

I said Cassidy by mistake, but it's Cassie.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Well, she's. I feel like, I feel very bad for a woman in that kind of situation dating those abusive narcissists. But if it was me, I was Cassie. After he beat me a few times, I think it's a perfect time for me to trigger him by brazing, existing. So he beat me again. I'll have a Korean scissor. I'm like, oh no, I just cut his dick off and it's self defense. Oh yeah, I can kill him without it.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll be fine.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, I would love to use that, but she's too nice.

[Adam Carolla]

Where are these women that are like, well, I was scared if he didn't let the escort pee on me, I would upset him. I'm like, I've never met that woman. I never met that woman. I kind of wish I'd meet somebody who would be scared if I didn't get my way 100% of the time.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know who these people are. Like, just know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, in the music business is different. They don't know how to work their way out. In comedy they, you know, get scissors and cut your dick off.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, she's a musician. She's a singer. Right, Cassie. I don't know anything.

[Morgan Langley]

She was.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's the thing, she was. And then her career really took a nosedive after she broke up with Diddy. I never heard of her Weinstein type situation as I understand it.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I feel bad for her. She should at least have a hit or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Now listen, pardon me, maybe I'm just old fashioned, but she's got a, you know, she's eight months pregnant, she's got a new man, he's a regular dude. When she comes home after a long day of talking about getting pissed on, does the guy at home just serve her up meatloaf or does he go, need a little space to decompress or, hey, could you take a shower real quick? I know, just symbolically, like, like it's a little weird when your woman, you know, I mean, like, like, okay, there's. Okay, let's just. You, you're traditional.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

In certain ways when a guy is with a woman and he knows like his best friend was with her or his brother was with her beforehand, it's like, it's a bit of a, like, okay. But I wish, yeah, I wish that had. That wasn't so you know what I mean? And then if she tells you, oh, you know, I. I dated Gronkowski for. For two years before I got to you. You're like, I wish you dated a smaller guy or something. You know what I mean? We have thoughts. And if you said like, well, I remember one time I was pulling the train with, like, these six guys, you're kind of like, oh, really? Because I don't like to picture. I don't want to picture that. You know what I mean? So getting peed on by the escort with the napkin in your mouth, doesn't that feel like, as the dude, you got to decompress a little? I'm not saying she's already been a victim once. I'm not saying making her a victim again. I'm just saying he's going to have some difficulty in the boner department for the next couple of months. Right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

None of us want to think about our old lady sleeping with somebody else. That's like a visual representation. And in court, oh, it's all gonna come out. It's gonna be right.

[Adam Carolla]

So sleeping with somebody else is part of nature and part of the game.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It's baked in. What are you gonna do? But the group of people standing around while the dude pees on her, that. That's a little next level in terms of stuff we don't want to think about.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. I mean, when you kiss her, he was thinking about, you are licking other people's pee. And it's not like a Bill Clinton's pee is like a stripper's pee. It's not high quality pee. It's like low class pee.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, low class pee.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, yeah. Like, if someone fucked Brad Pitt, you want to fuck her in order to feel next to Brad Pitt's dick. But like, if some homeless guy. You're like, ugh.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, I agree.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. You fucked Brad Pitt. And we're like, all right. Yeah, yeah. And also, you're sort of being equated with Brad Pitt because, like, she liked Brad and then she liked you. And by the way, she's hot enough for Brad Pitt.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Want to fuck. That's all good. But then at some point, she fucks Danny DeVito or something, and you go, his dick tastes weird.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. Also, like, maybe I'm uglier than I thought I am. I just don't know it.

[Adam Carolla]

So what's protocol for him? Like, when she comes back, before she comes walking in the door, wants to give him a kiss, and he goes could you just gargle?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, gargle.

[Adam Carolla]

And she's like, what? That was seven years ago. And he goes, I get it, I get it. But just for me to just hit the lavoris real quick before we kiss.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Just gargle or let Brad hit. Pee in your mouth Right before I kiss.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Brad, get over here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. So she's sitting there and it's all. It's tough for pee to. Because now she's pregnant. So now you're peeing for two. You're peeing on a mom. You know, I mean, now this is years ago, but the jury's just seeing a woman, I don't know, seven months, eight months. I mean, she's out.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You just seeing a pregnant mom sitting there holding back the tears, talking about getting peed on. And that ain't. That ain't good for Diddy. For Diddy.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So day one of testimony is going great, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But here's what I know. Tenney Gergas real well. Went to her wedding and so on and so forth. She's sweet. His lawyer, Mark Gargas daughter Tenny, is a total sweetheart, by the way. She's not what you'd consider like a shark type lawyer. She's self deprecating. She's real nice. She laughs and she's accommodating. She's just one of these people. Has a demeanor that's like a Labrador. Dog tail's always wagging. Hi. Would you need anything? I'm sure she's smart and she does her job, but her mentality is not like some of the lawyers you see out there. But look, I think her whole thing is gonna be, yeah, he did this stuff and we don't appreciate it. And it's not to be applauded. But this isn't human trafficking. This is just having kind of a spicy, sexual, degenerate sex life. Yeah, he's a degenerate. But by the way, I'm sure.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

A dozen of the founding fathers were in to some weird shit. Illegal to be legal just because you're weirdo. Yeah, right.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

It's illegal to be creepy, right? Within reason.

[Adam Carolla]

So that's her argument that the peeing in the mouth part, though, that just kind of takes it. It's kind of next level.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I think if you are choking on the p. Just swallow it.

[Adam Carolla]

You know the people who really should have the lawsuit.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Is the hotels.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, the. Oh, yeah. Well, whoever. Whoever the cleaning service is for the following day. It's all slipping on baby oil, landing in a Puddle of piss, you know, like, whoa, whoa. Like, that's gotta be a shit show, right?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

It's disgusting. So gross.

[Adam Carolla]

I would argue that a lot of yogis and professional Mexican boxers drink their own urine. If I'm not telling Tenney what to say, but I'm saying if I'm making an argument, I'm going, they're guys. There's Mexican prize fighters who do drink their own urine.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And there's yogis.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

There's yogis who drink their own. There's many people that are evolved, think this is. Has a health benefit. I tried it. You did?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I was training Liotto Machida.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, karate man.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Karate man. Yeah. And he would do it.

[Adam Carolla]

He would do it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He told me that it makes him strong. And I tried it and I didn't feel.

[Adam Carolla]

What did Leo, what did Leota's piss taste like? Mayhem.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It was my own.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I think there's a benefit to it. It just make water taste better.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yeah?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I probably inadvertently drank some piss because I've been pissed on so many times.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I did something gross. I was. When I had my babies at one side, one time my son has to pee in the highway, so he peed my kombucha I left in a bottle and I forgot it. And then next day I was drinking it. I'm like, this one must be very expensive. No, that's Vincent's pee.

[Adam Carolla]

He took a swig at mom of sun urine.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I, I kind of.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Chalk down, it was earthy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Then, yeah, I. It's shameful to say, but that's myself.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, that's an honest mistake. This is safe space. Wow. Leota Machida, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah. When I was training with Machida, like, he was into all kinds of interesting, you know, training methods and.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, because he was a karate man.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He was, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And he was like one of the few. I don't want to say the last, but the last was like a high profile middleweight or light heavy, what was it?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Light heavy.

[Adam Carolla]

Light heavy. Who fought in the UFC with a non UFC mixed martial arts style with the karate style. And it worked for him pretty well coming up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That had done a lot of taekwondo and now that MMA has been homogizing the culture, there's going to be some wild kicks coming.

[Adam Carolla]

So he drank his own year.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He did consistently, all the time I seen him do it and I was like, all right. I mean, it's working. He's a champ, let's try. And I immediately regretted it. I was like, why? But I know that if I was out to sea for months at a time. I might be able to survive until they picked me up by guzzling my own cup full.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going to text Tenny after the show and give her Leota's number because she'll go. All right. Now I call Stan. Leota, Machida Karate man. Wear the belt, wear the belt, wear the belt. Talk about the benefits of drinking your own urine. Go ahead, get up there with the strap. Make sure you have the strap on. Wear the gi. Red, white, blue, gi. With the belt.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I have an evil idea. I don't think it's gonna go well, but what. What happens? I know it's not allowed to talk about the woman's size in Hollywood, but what happens? We describe us with the, like, the middleweight heavyweight. Like, what is different weight, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

What was the other one? Middleweight?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, middleweight.

[Adam Carolla]

Middleweight.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Middleweight is like your 185. Yeah. I don't know, like right now I gain 10 pounds. I'm kind of middleweight now.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, you're a bantamweight now?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, I gained 10 pounds in Asia. I think it's.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? How long were you in Asia?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I went to Australia for three weeks and Asia for two weeks for the touring. Ate a lot of food.

[Adam Carolla]

You did Australia? How was Australia?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

It was great. They love comedy. They were sweet. I did the Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and the Perth. Perth was depressive. People were just beautiful city. But business are closing. All the restaurants are closed. They are poor in Perth, but they have the quokka, the cute animal.

[Adam Carolla]

The koala bear?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

No, the quokka, the little animal. Look like a rat, but happy rat. Yeah, very happy.

[Adam Carolla]

What month is that in your calendar? The happy rat.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

April.

[Adam Carolla]

Is April, the rat month?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes, April. I want to see that. They are very cute show.

[Adam Carolla]

And then where'd you go after that?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I went to Jakarta. I played in US Embassy.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Jakarta.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Singapore and Hong Kong. Taipei and Hong Kong and Taipei. And Tokyo. Tokyo was the last one.

[Adam Carolla]

How was that?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I dressed up like a Japanese schoolgirl. I look like a little Japanese AI robot. Sex robot. They're like, no, you are Chinese. You are comfort woman plus comfort.

[Adam Carolla]

World War II reference. Leota Machida's dad says, what happens when you eat and all the food that you eat and you digest, not all of it comes out. But when you drink your urine in the morning, it helps flush your system out. It basically cleans your system every day when you drink your urine.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's what I was doing wrong. I was doing it mid afternoon in a warm piss.

[Morgan Langley]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I Got in the morning.

[Morgan Langley]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

With my cup of coffee.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Like you tasting the testing, the pregnancy test. The first piss in the morning.

[Adam Carolla]

In the morning I'm picturing Leota and his dad doing, like, a Budweiser type commercial where he puts a deck on, and then they sit, big goblet of urine and toast, you know? Good job, son. Part of waking up is urine in your cup.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, there you go.

[Adam Carolla]

That's Leota and his dad.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sorry to bring this up, guys. I know it's some hardcore ness. What about you and Sonny waking up with a cup full of urine?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you this. First off, I can barely. I couldn't get that kid to drink Mr. Pibb over Dr. Pepper. He's so spoiled. All right, Understand. So he won't even go to a generic Dr. Pepper. Forget about Dr. Urine. I think there's an element. There's also a psychological element. Like, once in a while, fighters would come into the ring. They get in the ring, and they'd see them punch themselves in their face. Now, that wasn't for anything other than to go, oh, this guy's fucking nuts.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, this guy scares me because he's punching himself now, you know? And so drinking your own urine says to everybody, I'm crazy. I'll fucking do anything. You won't tap out a guy who drinks his own urine. Yeah. You can't tap me out. I drink my own piss.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

They have nothing to lose, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

I think there's an allergy. Forty ounces, that's what it is. All right, so P. Diddy may be in trouble.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yippee.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, I don't think. I think I would be eliminated as a juror because they'd be like, have you ever been involved in domestic violence? No. Ever been arrested for putting your hands on a woman? No. Ever thrown any orgies? No. Ever been pissed on?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Uh.

[Adam Carolla]

What are we talking about? Just pissed on? Oh, sure, yeah. Yeah, all the time. That was my entire high school experience, was being peed on by my friends. Move this nonstop. Yeah. I would be eliminated here at the Zebra. Research shows the average person would rather endure a root canal than search for auto and home insurance. Just try to relax, okay? Or be trapped in a car for eight hours with toddlers on a sugar high. Or remove a nest of irate hornets. That's why the Zebra searches for you. Comparing over 100 insurance companies to find savings no one else can Compare. [e-mail] we do the searching, you do the saving. I think I'll wait inside. All right. Speaking of working out or something, AI, Adam Sharer is back there working on editing. The KROC doc was back there and he pulled me into his office last night and he goes, hey, we took this old picture and we aied it and we animated it. We made it move. An old picture, me, when I used to box, and then now they made it into an action thing. They made it physically move like. It's like an old picture. I don't know if you were waving a picture of it. Now they go to AI and you're physically waving.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

You got the six.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What the hell? Gonna tease that. You got it up here.

[Adam Carolla]

They. Well, I told them to get it. I told them to get it before the show, so I figured they had it, but maybe they.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Probably not.

[Adam Carolla]

They're getting it now. But it's kind of interesting that you could take a photograph. Oh, there it is.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Now that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What the hell?

[Adam Carolla]

Now that's going backwards. They made it to go forward, I think. But the point is, is it's just. It was a black and white photo of me skipping rope from the Bodies in Motion in Los Angeles. I used to teach at. From back in the day. And they took it and now it's a clip of me skipping rope, which is kind of. Kind of interesting.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

It looks very real.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, it's strange.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

It can be an Instagram story.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the photo is that. That's a black and white photo. And then they made it move, although they made it go backwards.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Does it make you more crazy, though?

[Adam Carolla]

I was told it went forward, but maybe not. Or there's a version of it that goes forward, but either way. Now the thing that's AI, that's weird or not. I don't know if it's weird or not, but I don't skip rope like that. I know how to skip rope. I don't do two feet at a time. I do one foot. I do. I alternate feet all the time. So it doesn't. It fucks your form up a little because it does it like a nine year old skipping, you know, not last night, but the night before.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

But it's scary. People like, oh, he skipped rope. Crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a crazy rope skipper. He drinks pee.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

He skips like a nine year old.

[Adam Carolla]

He gets roped backwards.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. Dangerous mayhem.

[Adam Carolla]

You ever learn how to skip rope? Well, yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's good.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Down to, like, you know, crossovers and the whole bag of tricks. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That was a fun era. I trained in a boxing gym, though, because Fortune boxing down in Hollywood, it was where I was working my hands, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I see. So, yeah, ropes was standard, 15 minutes top. Yeah, yeah. Rope is one of those things that most people don't do well, so they skip it. And my thing is, if you don't do it well, do 15 minutes before you start anything else every time you go to the gym and you'll be doing it well in six months. But they just skip past the shit. They don't do well. And they never get good at this stuff because they don't like.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Sounds like young people in America.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's like when I got out of high school, I was like, all right, I don't read well at all. I read. I got out of high school, probably read at a. I probably read about eighth grade level. And then in China would have been a newborn or a zygote or even an abortion level. I read it Chinese abortion level when I got out of high school and I just announced, well, no more reading. I'm going on a construction site. I'm never reading again. I'm never going to have to deal with this shit ever again. And then I got in the radio and they started putting live copy in front of me going, all right, here you go, Read that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'd be like, ah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I got into TV and they're like, don't worry, we're gonna load up the prompter. It's all in the prompter.

[Dawson]

And I'm like, ah.

[Adam Carolla]

So then I had to learn to read, but my plan was no reading, which is not a good plan. You should. If you're bad at reading, you should read. If you're bad at skipping rope. Skip rope.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Confront all fear.

[Adam Carolla]

Confront it. Yeah. All right. So next thing I noticed is I realized our society is coming undone and we're having to work around the undoing of our society, which is a couple years ago, when I saw the commercial for the pharmaceutical pill that you took because you were constipated, because you were strung out on oxycodone, I was like, oh, we're in trouble. Cuz not only is everyone taking so many painkillers that they're constipated, but now the pharmaceutical companies are selling you a second prescription drug because you're hooked on the first prescription drug and you can't take a shit. So I was like, oh, this is bad, this is bad. And then I started. I was watching TV and a little commercial came on for deodorant, you know, and I started thinking about deodorant for the first you know, hundred years it existed was for armpits. And that was it. There was no more. All over the place. You know, now there's women going, I got this, and I got. I put it between my knees and put up my ass and stuff like that. I'm like, pits, cracks. Yeah. So this is a degree deodorant commercial. It's only 15 seconds that I saw.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Balls under boob and butt. Booze.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's pause it for a second. I didn't know you're allowed to say balls like when you're spraying stuff on your balls.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Balls, balls, balls.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Here's the point. We never needed any of these standards, any of these rules, because at some point, everyone just goes. Like, when I started radio, it's like, you can't say tits. And then at some point, everyone just starts saying tits. And they're like, all right. Like, it's like, I guess we just made that up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I remember the time piss was the thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Piss.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Pitts. Sorry. Piss and tits. You couldn't say. What got us into tits is the titty bar. You could say boobs, jugs, knockers, hooters. But you. You couldn't say tits, but at some point, you could say titty bar. That paved the way. That was a stepping stone to get two tits.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

The balls. He should have lifted the balls up.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta go under the balls. You're spraying. You're spraying the spray on top of your dick.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes. The tips are gonna be infected. I don't want to smell his dick.

[Adam Carolla]

So what I realized. We'll watch it again. We'll watch it again. It's only 15 seconds.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Balls under boob and butt. Boob and butt.

[Adam Carolla]

Balls under boob and butt. All right, what's happening is everyone is so fucking fat now that they have folds everywhere. And the folds create a scent.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And so the reason I'm seeing all these commercials about deodorant in places you formerly never needed deodorant. When you're dude and you're 6 foot tall and you're 170, you don't have a bunch of folds. So you just have your underarm, because that's the fold. That's the normal fold. Now you got the gut fold and the gun fold and the boob fold and that crack fold and the ass fold and the knee fold and the thigh fold. And now we stink because there's too many folds. Like, you can only handle so many linear feet of fold. Like, so if you. If you did. Now I'm saying Linear, not square footage of fold. So in the past, I'm not ever said this out loud in my life and I've never had this thought, but I'm thinking about your armpit was good on each side for about 6 inches of fold material. So you put your arms down. If you're an average sized dude, maybe an average size Lady's more like 4 inches on each side of fold. How much fold material? Now you cannot. You can't count the top of your hand as fold. There's no fold there. There's no forearm fold, there's no forehead fold unless you're really fucking fat, right? But now you gotta go fold and you gotta go. The average American, like the average guy and gal who went to the woodstock concert in 1969, only averaged less than a foot a fold, male and female, because all it was was five inches on the dude's armpit. Five and five, that's 10 inches a linear fold. Okay, women four and four, that's fold. Now technically, behind the knee could be fold if you're squatting, but you're not squatting. You're up there enjoying the Grateful Dead.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so now in 2025, Chinfold may have overtaken the overall fold on a guy from 1969. Just a double chin fold. You got the double chin fold, you got the expanded pitfold because you got sort of man boob and sidearm and all that shit, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And subfold, subfold.

[Adam Carolla]

Now we're going there. Then we got under titty fold, we got belly fold times two or three. Now the belly fold comes around.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So we're talking 16 inches. Just one belly fold. Then there's a 13 incher above it and a 9 inch or above that with the triple fold. Then we got thigh fold extensions.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Fupa.

[Adam Carolla]

We got FUPA fold. Yeah, FUBA fold happening right now. There's some back. Some people have upper hip back fold too. That. That upper hip back fold.

[Dawson]

How the hell are they gonna fit that in this song?

[Adam Carolla]

Upper hip back fold.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, remix.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Put P. Diddy on it.

[Adam Carolla]

If you take the average American citizen and I'm going to talk to JFK Jr about this, he's going to make a craft. We had basically 11 inches of fold back then. Now we got a country mile of fold. You add up the chin fold, the great wall of fold, you can see the fold from outer space.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes.

[Dawson]

Belly flap, butt crack, bat fat. You took fold.

[Adam Carolla]

You took all the folds and add them up. We're at 11ft now, not 11 inches anymore. And each fold has its own little ecosystem which creates its own funky town, which means it needs to be sprayed now. And that's why every commercial deodorant was under your pits for the first hundred years. And in the last two years, it's now everywhere.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I think there's two solutions for it. We should go back to the 70s. Like you care about someone. Like, hey, you're getting fat, but now you're. It's fat shame you can't say it to them. Or like all the stinky fat people should date each other so they can cancel out of we can save money and don't put a poison on our body.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, I should be canceled the. The one deodorant. I don't know if it's lumen or whatever.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This is a rip off of Lou Mane, right? She was a big fat lady talking on the commercial about your thigh fold. And I was like, oh God. And now she's all ozempic.

[Adam Carolla]

No, she's worse. She's worse. She goes, I don't know protocol, but she goes, my gynecologist told me about. And I'm like, oh, your gynecologist got a whiff of what you were cooking down there. When you're. It's not apropos to nothing. It's your gynecologist almost passing out when he has to do a pap smear, going, you should find out. But it's like me telling my alcoholic buddy about going to aa. You know what I mean? Like, it's not for nothing. It's something. You know, when your gynecologist tells you something about stank, they're talking to you.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

She does a backflip for you, not for other people.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Right. I don't know how much should your gynecologist do. You have a male gynecologist?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

No, I have a woman. I had old Chinese gynecologist that put the IOD in me and then I was taking it out. He goes, you can keep it. It's good for five more years. I said, I just don't want it. He's like, you have to pay a new one. I said, okay. He goes, no, you have to save money. You have to be a good Chinese girl. I'm like, you're fired.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. He just worry about my future. He's like, what happens if you want to one again? You have to pay extra. This one is good. Four or five more years. Yeah, I. Yeah, I have a woman now. She's a Korean woman.

[Adam Carolla]

She's very smart.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

She's very aggressive. I like her.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, listen. In the department, we're going to circle back. As a guy, when you're with a woman, you have preferences. You prefer that they not have been with this guy or your friend or your buddy or your brother or whatever. You have a preference. Well, your first preference is I'm the only one. Yeah, that's the first one. And then from there it just kind of keeps going down. But getting peed on by the male escort, that's not what you're looking for. So when it comes to gynecologists, you're looking for woman. And you're looking a woman who's Korean or some ethnicity that we can't vibe with. And she's not gonna, she's not gonna get drunk and start talking.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Different species.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Different thing. That's what we want. Straight, good looking dude is not what we want.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. I came up with an invention a long time ago and I think, I really think this should catch on. The male gynecologist. Don't worry, I'm gay. Package shows up with a picture of you and your boyfriend shows up with the adopted kid. Picture shows up with the gay flag. And we just convince every woman who comes out, well, the guy. And so when the husband or the boyfriend goes, this fucking guy in a college. Guy's good looking. Here you go. Relax, he's gay.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

He's only a finger.

[Adam Carolla]

Look at his office. He's got a picture of his adopted kid. He's got his boyfriend over there. He's got the gay flag swinging on it. It'd just be a package. Be like 89 bucks. You send in a picture of yourself, we'll match you with a guy. You know what I mean? We'll just get Rando. Black or Chinese kid, adopted. Put that on the desk. Put the stuff in the waiting room. Gay flag, whatever. We're done.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Give you a golden doodle to walk around the flag.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, golden doodle. We don't have to talk. We don't have to say anything. You'll get it when you show up.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, he just like.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Gay hand motions.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, I believe. I believe. Playing shares. Believe. Just like.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Do you believe? Show you got a woman.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. I had no choice. I had to take out iod. I had to go to a man. He was. I just, I don't trust him. He's a nice man, but I just don't believe he just. This is what he choose to do. I just don't believe. And you can be A heart surgeon. You are Chinese. Why would you choose vagina? Yeah, I don't. I just don't know. He's straight, he's clean, he's nice, he has a wife and kid. I'm like, but you can be a real doctor. Like, it's your doctor for women, but it's not for me. It's like a hobby. Yeah, you're just good at it. Yeah, it's like someone is good at a fingering. Like the fingering king. Like, you're just. You get paid to do your own finger blast.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all you do.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

You don't work a day in your life because you are doing what you love.

[Adam Carolla]

It's true. My grandfather used to say that. He said to me, if you finger bang blast bitches for a living, you'll never work a day in your life. He told me that. I wish he told me that before I got into construction because I did feel like I worked back then. Yeah, he's right. The old man was right. Yeah, yeah, I. So it's kind of weird because you do hear the stories about the male, the middle age. There was a, you know, $10 billion lawsuit. I think it was USC, where like the middle aged male gynecologist for the gymnastics.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I dated a girl that went to him and all the girls on the team complained about it. It was 2001. She was a diver.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dawson]

So you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. You would have. So you'd have to kind of go, what I'm saying, this is like when I hear about someone wanting to be a cop, I'm like, I just don't want to have to shoot black eyes or pepper spray. I want to be a meter maid. You know? I mean, like, you want to ruin people's days, you know? And they go, Then half people go, hey, it's just a job. And I'm like, yeah, but why are you. What I'm saying is I couldn't be a meter maid because when I was riding the ticket and putting it on the windshield, if the poor mom come running out of the salon with her hair in the curlers begging me, I couldn't go. So what? I'd have to go. See, she was poor, she didn't have a nice car. You know what I mean? I would feel like I couldn't do certain jobs because I feel like shit. Conversely, being the gynecologist for the USC gymnastics team, that sounds. That sounds more attractive.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

To me. You know what I'm saying? So you have to kind of go, wait a minute. Why Is he attracted to this? Because the thing about being a gynecologist. 852 million settlement, by the way, because.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He did it to every girl. The girls were literally talking about the creepy.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

He just divvy in.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, he. I guess no glove.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

He dug.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Poor no glove. Yeah. A real pro.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, here's. Okay, dirtbag. See, the thing about the thing that stopped me from being a gynecologist.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Is obviously there's a formal education thing that I probably couldn't have competed with. But the thing about being a gynecologist is, yes, you will get the occasional USC cheerleader, but you're also gonna get Mama Mayonnaise over there from Baby the Fuba Queen. Yeah. You're gonna get some. You're gonna get some trouble.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And there are two, you know, I mean, it's not all gonna be spokesmodels and Vanna White easting vitions. You're gonna get some trouble. You're gonna get some chicks who have to use a lot of body spray.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Mother Dog and the Baker.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of folds. You know what I mean? And that's gonna keep you on the straight and narrow.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. Then you just. When you see a vagina, you don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

You're like. Because you'll see the worst. You wouldn't.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But when you go, I'm only going to work for usc and I'm only going to do the gymnastics in the swimming team and the girls volleyball team. Now, that's a different story. Yeah, Right. There's nothing. You ain't going to get any shot putters in there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, no. Those girls are still getting yeast infection.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but think about. Think about what you're dealing with in the waiting room. Think about what's in the waiting room versus Mama June. Right. That's all I'm saying.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. He knew what he was doing. He worked hard to the top in order to be on the top so he can dive in.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're never gonna see a gray pube. You'll never see a gray pube your whole career. It's just gonna be the next graduating class, you know, Boom. In there. Well, it sounds bad.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He's just dark.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm just saying, I don't trust that guy.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, that guy should be a girl.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Why can't they hire a woman?

[Adam Carolla]

I would just go, like, the same difference if the janitor was a dude and the janitor was like, I gotta go to the women's locker room and mop the floor. I'd be like hand the mop to a woman. That's a woman. Janitor goes in there, man. Janitor goes in the man side. Like, I just wouldn't. Why even maybe some chick still in the shower.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean? I'm not even risking this.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, they are gymnasts. All the women prefer have a female college.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, the only thing that the security gets right at the airport is when you need to be patted down. They give you a chick or dude, they give you your own thing.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Know what I mean? They'll figure like, they don't let a dude pat down a chick.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I will. See that guy, that doctor, like, how good is he? Why did they choose him? What he look like he's a man.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, they finally caught him. Cause he lost his wedding ring in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, now it's too dark. Too dark.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sorry. Thought we were going there.

[Adam Carolla]

Total stunning.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I mean, is that Diamond.

[Adam Carolla]

Total settlement payout $1 billion 852 million settlement for more than 700 women. Gynecology alleged 215 million class action settlement. It's so weird. You know the thing about. It's kind of weird with women and everyone in general. You could be it a person on this planet that just gets, you know, burned or shot or killed or nothing. Something T boned by an illegal with no insurance or whatever. Like zero payout. Or Leonardo DiCaprio could drunk drive right inside your car and you get $28 million. You know what I mean? Like, strange life. You could be raped in some prison cell somewhere and walk out. Zero burger zero historically. Or you can get $12 million because this guy got frisky. You know, it's a wide range man. It's weird, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Everybody's trying to hit the lottery in their own way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, I think Cassie may have gotten paid a little bit.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

She did.

[Adam Carolla]

But for Every Cassie, there's 200 million women just getting raped and thrown in an alley somewhere. Right. Without getting any zero payday. Nothing. Yeah.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Life is not fair.

[Adam Carolla]

Life is not fair.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Let's try to be hot.

[Adam Carolla]

Now I'm looking here and it says, found an animated commercial for Novatex medication with opioid constipation. The one I always remember is a guy on a construction site. But this is maybe better. All right, let's see this one.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

This helps me to manage my chronic pain, but it came with some baggage.

[Adam Carolla]

You're not the only one. Opioids block pain signals by attaching to something called mu receptors here, but they also attach to mu receptors in the bowel, and that can cause opioid induced constipation or oic.

[Morgan Langley]

I could struggle with OIC the whole.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Time I take my opioid.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe not. There's Movantic. Movantic can help reduce OIC by blocking opioids from binding to mu receptors in the bowel. Do not take Movantic if you have a bowel blockage or a history of them. Serious side effects include a tear in your stomach or intestine and can also include symptoms of opioid withdrawal. Common side effects include stomach pain, diarrhea, nausea, gas, vomiting and headache. Tell your doctor about any side effects and about medicines you take as Movantic may interact with them, causing side effects. It's all we've lost.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

They should have used Elvis as the lady Elvis sitting on the toilet, like.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, good news, Andrew. I don't see it on my list, and I don't know why, but maybe you're thinking of something which is the Al Pacino and Cruising, which is something we're talking about. Okay, so, yeah, we have it, but it's not on my list. It's weird. So all we did was talk about it. All right. Al Pacino did a movie in 1980 called Cruising, and he played a New York undercover cop and there was a gay serial killer. Turned out five years later, there really was a gay serial killer called aids. But this was just a gay serial killer who was just individually killing gay guys, stabbing gay guys, Right? And al Pacino in 1980 agreed to make a movie where he was a New York cop who went undercover to infiltrate the leather gay scene in New York City. It got weird. I mean, if anyone has seen this movie, it's weird because Al Pacino, the arc of his character was he started to go gay gay. Cause he'd infiltrated this gay bar and this gay movement in weird leather 1980s New York, which is weird leather gay. Now we have happy, smart, cocktail gay. This is pre AIDS weird leather bandana gay. And I want you to find this out, Dawson, if you can. Did the whole bandana marker gay thing happen because of the movie? Because I think it existed before the movie, which is. And Jiao Yang, you're too young and too innocent to know. But the bandana, you hung it out of your back pocket so the gay dudes knew what you wanted. Oh. And knew who you were. Meaning. It's a dated reference, but there's a song called I got a brand new pair of roller skates. You got a brand new key. We can work Together. But we don't need two keys. You see what I'm saying? We don't need two tops. We need a top and a bottom. Yeah, you see what I'm saying? Two tops. That's like Tupperware. What good would Tupperware be with just two lids?

[Dawson]

According to Wikipedia, they've been doing the gay handkerchief code since the 70s. And this movie came out in 80.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I knew it. Somebody said the movie started, but I was like, dad, they're not smart.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Bumped up numbers of bandana sales after the first one.

[Adam Carolla]

But. So dudes are so great that, see, dudes want to have sex, right? And straight dudes want to have sex, but they realize, okay, we got to go out, we got to buy salad. I gotta pay for stuff. I gotta pretend to listen, I gotta act interested. I gotta get to know her cat a little bit, and then maybe I can get laid, you know? We understand there's a ritual, but gay dudes, that's just two dudes. Yeah, that's two dudes deciding when to have sex. And the answer is now. Yesterday. 10 minutes ago.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Why are we wasting time talking? So gay dudes just figured out, well, if it's up, if the dude is the gatekeeper, then there is no gate. Yes, you wear it, right. And even then, they decide to streamline it with the bandana system. Because I just want to know if you either you want to get peed on or you like to pee on me. Yeah, we're gonna take. We're gonna cut out any of the foreplay in any of the mystery. We'll just put the bandana.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So this is Al Pacino. Yeah, it's efficient. It's gayfishient. Al Pacino goes into a bodega or tchotchke store and is talking to Powers Booth. By the way, who played the pilot in Red dawn, the downed pilot in Red Dawn. This is pre. That role. He's the proprietor of the bandana store. And alone, who is a cop posing as a gay dude, is gonna ask about the bandanas.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Excuse me, can I ask you about these?

[Adam Carolla]

What about them? What are they for? Well, light blue Hank, in your left back pocket means you want a blowjob. Right pocket means you give one, the green one. Left side says you're a hustler. Right side you're a buyer. Yellow on the left side means you give golden shower. Right side, you receive. All right, hold on, Paul. First off, imagine if you were a 1980s New York dyslexic gay, and you were like, oh, Wait. Peed on shit. Yellow. What'd he say? Yellow. Right side, left pocket. You just. It'd be a ball of confusion, you and another guy peeing on each other. Wait a minute. I do the peeing? No, you put that first. I. This is too much information.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, it's confusing.

[Adam Carolla]

I would need one of those quarterback wristbands where I just consulted, like when I was down in the gay club going, okay, blue. Wait.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Brown.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, yeah, I want a blowjob. I don't want to give a blow job. Okay, so I want to. Okay, so if I want to pee on him while getting well, he's giving me a blow job. Counter. The yellow.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

The blue.

[Adam Carolla]

Blue.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Fortitude.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

We gotta call Diddy. We gotta call Diddy. Diddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Will Diddy.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Diddy has a.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we'll play a little. A little more of this because it's. It's funny because it's Al Pacino. Back pocket means you want a blow job. Right pocket means you give one. The green one. Left side says you're a hustler. Right side, you're a buyer. Yellow one, left side means you give golden shower. Right side, you. You receive the red one. Cleanse you see anything you want.

[Morgan Langley]

I'm gonna go home and think about it.

[Adam Carolla]

I like that. The guy's making a hard pitch. This is 1980. A bandana was 79 cents. He's making a hard pitch for this bandana. And also, there's a few things in movie. When you made a movie back in the day, any kind of movie, but especially serious movie, the person who the star was gonna talk to, who was behind the counter, had to have space work, had to have something to do. You couldn't just stand there with your arms by your side waiting for the guy to walk in. Yeah. If you were a bartender, it was 100% wiping glasses with a rag. Every bartender, in every move, when they walked up and went, hey, Bob, what? Do you ever seen this girl? She's, like, sitting there just wiping and just wiping it. That's all they did is rub glasses.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They never made a martini. They never whipped up a blender. They never made a daiquiri. They said, wipe and wipe and wipe. I've been to a thousand bars. Never seen a guy standing there wiping a glass. Just sitting in the back. He's like, doing. In the back, they're wiping. And when you went into a store, the guy had to have the newspaper down and his head buried into it. And then you'd go, excuse me. And he'd go, what do you need, bub? Like, that was his space work. They couldn't stand there. There were no glasses to wipe. They just read and they got interrupted. When you came in, that was their space work. That was Powers Booth. That's a very gay name, Powers Booth.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Very, very gay.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so what happened was, is I was doing Beat it out, which is a show I do on Substack with Jay Moore. And I knew Jay Moore did a funny Al Pacino. So I said, jay, when you come in here, he came in. I said, let's recreate this cruising scene with the bandana cruising scene. I'll be the proprietor, you be Al Pacino. So here it is. I'll play Powers Booth. Okay. I'm the bandana proprietor. What are all these for? Explain this to me.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What are these?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, white means you like bukaki. White in the right pocket means you receive bukkake. And then white in the left pocket means you're part of the bukkake party and gathering.

[Morgan Langley]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Bukkake adjacent. Yeah. Is there anything for fisting? Do you have a fisting bandana? Yeah, we have. Well, we have a gray one with a fist stenciled on it. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of on the nose, but a lot of guys get pretty high from huffing our bandanas. Oh, so we have a fist bandana can. I was also a hell of a. Hell of a Sylvester Stallone movie. I don't know if you remember the movie Fist. But apropos of nothing, that was one of his better roles.

[Dawson]

All the bandanas.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, if I give you $20, here's what I'm thinking. I take all these bandanas, the whole tree of them. You're talking about, like, a discount, a bulk discount.

[Morgan Langley]

I don't need a discount.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm an honest man. Yeah, but I'm saying I'm a cop that plays outside the rules. Well, here's what we call, like a baker's doz, right?

[Morgan Langley]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

We get 14. Yeah. Every 12 bandanas you buy, I'll throw one in for free. But again, pick your color wisely. I want all the colors. Well, green means you're green in the right pocket. You're not hearing me. I want all the bandanas, all the.

[Morgan Langley]

Colors, and I'm gonna tie them together.

[Adam Carolla]

And pull them out of my ass like a magic trick. Oh, you're just gonna keep going? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Or I could tie little knots and.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Make my own Benoit balls and start my ass like a lawnmower.

[Adam Carolla]

We do have Benoit balls. They're in the. They're in the gift case, by the way, if you want to look at some of those. Well, what color they start out? Yeah, I don't know. Jay Moore is. Yeah. Gay Al Pacino.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

There's a.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the craziest movie of all time.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yellow color, you know. His water bottle. Is that pee?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think it's his drink. So my.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

So good.

[Adam Carolla]

First off, that movie is crazy. Seeing Al Pacino. I gotta watch it.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I gotta watch it.

[Adam Carolla]

All the leather, gay guys. You know, my plan. My plan, which I thought would be awesome is at the Academy Awards when they give Al Pacino the lifetime achievement award, they go 50 years, over 120 movies this genius has been on the silver screen. Let's take a look at some of his work. And Meryl Streep does the thing and the lights dim. It's only clips from Cruising. It's just Cruising clips. It's no other movie. No Dog Day Afternoon, no heat, no nothing. It's just him dancing with gay guys in Cruising. That's the only clips they show before we bring Al up. That would be the greatest. I would think I would be the greatest day of my life. If that's what they did. They would never do.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

That would be actually cool to show that most people don't know. Don't watch that movie. That shows how cool he is.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

There's a clip that everyone on the Internet knows, but they don't know it's from that movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's a giant black dude in a cup.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, did you see that? You know that. That on the Internet. Oh, you have?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes. Did not know it was from Cruising.

[Adam Carolla]

It's from Cruising.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

We had to watch it.

[Adam Carolla]

I would literally just show that clip over and over again for the Al Pacino Lifetime achievement award. Andrew has it somewhere because I saw it. Here it is. It's crazy.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

He opens the door.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So, dude, it looks like Quentin Jackson in an athletic supporter and a cowboy hat just punches.

[Adam Carolla]

How was that?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right in the face. And walks off with his bare ass.

[Adam Carolla]

What are you hitting for? Who paid for the room? What was that? This could be the greatest, by the way. What was that? I don't think was even in the script. I think he just said, what the fuck was that? I don't think the director told him what was happening, you know. Oh, that scene makes its rounds on the Internet.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, but people don't know it's from Cruise.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I never knew. I saw that and was like, what is that bizarre? Cause I recognized Al Pacino and was like, oh, what? And then that happens.

[Adam Carolla]

And I think we all need to reacquaint ourselves with cruising out. Are we looking at the official poster here? Because I don't trust Internet movie posters anymore.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It looks a bit 70s, though. Like, it looks a bit realistic. Yeah, yeah, it's actually the. Yeah, that's it.

[Adam Carolla]

50%. I mean, look, it's consistent. The critics have it at 50% on rotten tomatoes and the people have it at 49%. So it's right. We agree. We definitely agree. All right, let's see. We got some news.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We do.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll take a quick break. We'll be back with that right after this. Morgan and Morgan. Well, there's a dirty little secret that the insurance industry may not want you to know about, and that's that insurance companies profit by holding on to to your money for as long as possible. So after an accident, they might do whatever they can do to delay or deny your claim. This way, they can keep the profits growing for themselves, not for you, of course. Morgan and Morgan fights hard against these corporations to fight to make sure you get every dollar you deserve. I met these guys. I like these guys. And it's not, you know, they're going against the man, not the little guy. When Morgan. Morgan takes on a case, they're almost always going after big insurance companies and not the individuals at fault. There's a reason why Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury firm. It's Morgan and Morgan, right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

Hiring the wrong firm can be disastrous. Hiring the right firm could substantially increase your settlement. With Morgan and Morgan, it's easy to get started and their fee is free unless they win. Just visit forthepeople.com adam or dial pound law 529. That's forthepeople.com adam or Dial pound law 529. This is a paid advertisement.

[Adam Carolla]

Home Chef. Do you find yourself eating the same thing over and over and over again when you're feeling burnt out? You don't have time to search for meals, pick out ingredients, and learn how to cook something new. That's where Home Chef comes in. Home Chef gets it and is here to make meals easier and healthier, along with tons of variety. Because that's the spice of life, people. Home chef has over 30 options a week and serves a variety of dietary needs. Plus, Home Chef customers save an average of 86 bucks per month on groceries. I know everyone thinks you're saving money by going to the store, but do you get out of there for under 200 bucks anymore. It's expensive. Let Home Chef do it. Users of leading meal kits have rated Home Chef number one in quality, convenience, value, taste and recipe ease. The one I tried that I loved recently was sirloin with hot honey and feta crema and smashed garlic potatoes. It's Home Chef. Right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 18 free meals, plus free dessert for life and, of course, free shipping. On your first box. Just go to homechef.com Adam that's homechef.com Adam for 18 free meals and free dessert for life. You heard that right. Homechef.com Adam must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert.

[Adam Carolla]

Simply safe. Well, you want to feel safe when you're at home. Everyone wants to feel safe when you're at home. You deserve to feel safe when you're at home. And that's where Simplisafe comes in. Traditional security systems. Oh, they only take action after someone has already broken in. That's too late. Simplisafe is setting the new standard in home security. Simplisafe's active guard outdoor protection can help prevent break ins before they occur with AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents. Well, they'll monitor your property to detect any suspicious activity, and they'll nip it in the bud. Monitoring plans are affordable. They start around a buck a day. A buck a day? For peace of mind. These guys have been a longtime sponsor. Everyone here has always used Simplisafe. They're great. And if you have to move, you take your system with you because there's no hard wiring. It is Simplisafe, right, Dawson?

[Dawson]

You can get 50 off your new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring. And your first month [e-mail] Adam. Just head to simplisafe.com Adam to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this year. Keep your home, your family, and your peace of mind protected with simply safe. There's no safe like simply safe. It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Adam, I'm a truck driver up in Alaska, and I got a call from a buddy that'll be working down there on the cleanup as a truck driver moving the fire debris. Just want you to know that he's a brother.

[Dawson]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta say, I was touring the devastation in Malibu last Sunday. Saw a black dude wearing a hard hat on one of the job sites up in the Hills. So now it's. Well, look, let me just say. So here's the angle. Black dudes don't do physical labor in this town. They do it in Atlanta, they do it in Kentucky, they do it in New York. They do everywhere. Not in la. No gardeners, no road crews, no guys spreading stucco. You don't see guys on a construction site. I've been through Palisades 10 times and Malibu, not seen one black person working. They'll give them the hold the sign job, but not the skilled work in the excavator job. And I don't know what's going on. I don't like it. And I would vote for any politician who just said, I'm going into the inner city. There's a bunch of kids, they're failing out of school, they're not going to college, they're 15. They're gonna join a gang. I'm gonna give him a trade. There's just a story that juniors in high school are coming out making 70k a year because they have a trade. Teach them a goddamn trade and then they're gonna have at least a decade worth of work rebuilding Malibu, Palisades and Altadena. And we need skilled tradespeople. And listen, you know, working an excavator or a bobcat or driving a dump truck, pretty much any 17 year old could figure it out in about a year. You know, it's not that big a deal. When I was a carpenter, it took me about 10 years to become like a real carpenter. Because you could be framing or you could be doing finish work, you could be hanging a door, you could be putting, building cabinetry. There's so many diverse, different aspects of it. But if you just go drywall or you just go excavator operation, heavy equipment, or you just go H Vac, or you just go electrician, or you just go plumber, or you just go foundation. Two years. You know what you're doing?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You're on the job, by the way. You're on the job 4050 hours a week. You're there all day, every day. You, you, you. If you want to do something pretty basic like rough framing year in, you pretty much know how to do it. You know, you could take these poor kids that are falling through the cracks and have them have high paying skilled jobs and then it would go on forever. But nobody says shit. And no politicians ever said a word.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

And I hate this stupid stuff right now I feel like they are not doing the real Helping the kids to.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, they're just anything real. No, they're just. You know, Maxine Waters, her district could use this, but she just goes on cnn, calls everyone a racist all day while her wig moves around.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

There's big business in getting those dudes locked up. And then, you know what I mean, turning them through that system, I get.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, everybody, everybody wants to get paid. Big pharma wants to get people hooked on whatever. And big prison wants to have inhabitants.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The courts, too.

[Adam Carolla]

They all want it. They all want it. But that's what I'm saying. That's where the politician intervenes and goes, no more. Here's what we're doing. We're bringing these kids. There's thousands of homes burned to the ground. We're gonna need so many. We're trying to book a plumber or electrician or framer. How many framing crews are there? There's thousands of houses. We could get these kids, coach them up cheap. Yeah. Cost that much and get them on the job, man.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

But no one will listen.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

There's a good solution.

[Adam Carolla]

We're listening.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

We are listening. Yes. We are posting this clip. We are tagging all the politicians to educate them.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, what do you got?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right, first up, celebrity news. Arnold Schwarzenegger's son Christopher, explains his dramatic weight loss transformation.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And the one food that he cut out, apparently was bread.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he gave it up for Lent, Right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He gave it up for Lent. And look, he like went from that to this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, looks good. Dropped 30 or 40 pounds.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Good for him.

[Adam Carolla]

Got rid of all the folds. How many linear feet of fold do you think he got rid of?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

At least 16.

[Adam Carolla]

At least 16 linear feet of fold.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

100%.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

70% of the great Wall is gone.

[Adam Carolla]

He gave it up, which is good.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And now he looks like his dad kinda. You know, before he looked like Maria.

[Adam Carolla]

Shriver ate a blueberry. It's also. It's got to be weird. I don't know how old he is, but if I was schwarzenegger and my 23 year old came in looking like a blob, I was like, let me just pull out a picture of me when I was 23.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I won Mr. Olympia for the third. No, second. No. Fourth time. I think I was the fourth time. Here. Here's what your dad looked like when he was 23.

[Morgan Langley]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And this is what you look like.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

A lot to live up to. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I don't know. I can't. I think Schwarzenegger would be good. He's got a pet donkey Keeps in his house.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

That's cute.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What? I don't know.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Pet donkey.

[Adam Carolla]

He got the maid pregnant, which is. See, when you get the maid pregnant, that just means you're horny.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That doesn't mean you like the maid. That just means there's some dudes. There's some dudes that are, like, more animal than human when it comes to sex.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. They don't see things, they visualize someone else. I think they just need to do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Just like a dog will fuck a throw pillow because.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. Now I work on a donkey.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And here's the whole point. Schwarzenegger can get anybody once.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But he just takes the maid because she's closest to his dick.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And so he'll. That's, that's a dude. You know what I mean?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

It's like real estate. Location is everything. It's location right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. He won his first Olympia, Mr. Olympia trial at 23. It's funny that I said 23. How old's his kid, though? How old's Porky? I mean, the formerly fat. So he gave up bread for Lent and now he's this, that seems, I don't know, 27. See, this is the problem with Ozempic, which is we don't know anymore.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

We don't know if he's rich. He has access to it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, of course.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, Yeah, I know. Yeah. That's something that we don't talk about.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, if you did Ozempic, you could, you'd still have to give up bread. I mean, you could do Ozempic and then just give up stuff. This just helps you give up stuff, right?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's pretty easy to diet. I don't understand people that get into, I mean, once you eat yourself to a certain level, I just, you know what I mean, look myself in the mirror and go, what the hell is going on?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Well, you're, you're disciplined. You're the athlete, so it's different. I, I, you are weak.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I don't, I, I agree with Mayhem. Look, when people go, well, you get the Ozempic, so you don't eat. I go, or you cannot eat shit.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Or you could exercise, like, or. It's all there. It's on the fucking table. You just go, go do it.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Just don't eat. His fat is Gonna last him 60, 60 months. He won't die.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I like that. They caught him with a couple of Rolling Rocks too, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Double fisted. I like, wonder why you got tits.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, well, good for him.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Very good.

[Adam Carolla]

Schwarzenegger. And he has the other son that's the maids sired. Oh, he sired for the maid, right?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Is that Lotus?

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no, no, different. Yeah, the White Lotus kid's a different kid.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, he's Patrick.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

He did well.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He did great on that show. Yeah, it was pretty.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you watch White Lotus?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes, I thought it was great. I like the girl with a gap teeth. She was good. She was a good actress. But the Lisa, the K, pop stars, her role was just so nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, she Korean?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, they really.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I think she's Thai. She's beautiful. She's talented. But her character just like it just kind of waste of time for them to get her to do something basic.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

To prove that they were in.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, she should be like doing something crazy like in. Or she's like actually have a penis. Something fun and cool.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So is this episode or this season as good as the season before?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I think the first one was the best one. First. First. The ceiling, the best one. But this one is pretty good. If they cast me would be better.

[Adam Carolla]

They should have cast.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I can play lady boy. I can fuck a Sam Rockwell. I'll be like. Yeah. Do you want that bit? No, you want this? Egg roll. Egg roll.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Morgan Langley]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. Oh. We took him back. Yeah. Keep going.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Next up, you're gonna like this. California governor Gavin Newsom unveils his homelessness plan to clear the street camps. Finally this year it's gonna work.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

What is he.

[Adam Carolla]

Can we just say this? I wrote a tweet about this today, but I really mean it. I don't think people really understand this. If the state you run has tons of people strewn about sleeping in the street and dying in the street, then you're doing a shitty job of running your state. Like you could go, I wanna measure the gdp.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Or I wanna measure homes built. Or I wanna measure the average income or whatever you could do. Or the school stuff, you know. If you have people flopped out all over the place, dying in the street, then you are doing a piss poor job of running whatever place you're running. I don't care what the school systems are, I don't care how many churches you have. I don't care what the average income is of the family. I don't care what anything. If there's people flopped in the street dying, then you're doing a shit job. That's it. That's all I need. That's all I need to know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Pretty clogged up. The ordinance prohibits Encampments that block free passage on sidewalks and in persistent locations and includes a requirement that local officials provide advance notice and alternate shelter to people in encampments prior to cleaning them. Okay, so there's going to be a lot.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Who's paying for that?

[Adam Carolla]

It doesn't matter. We pay billion, we got nothing. It's just zero tolerance. Clean it up. And not for me or for me, but for them too.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But hey, listen to this, okay? The model ordinance is not a flat directive giving local municipalities a guideline and effective choice to implement the policy.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, the blues cities aren't. The red cities are. I mean, look, you go to cities that are run correctly, like you go to Orange county, you don't see any of the shit, cuz they're red and they're run correctly. And then you go to blue cities and they run like shit and there's people everywhere. So sorry. And also, stop mistaking people shooting up drugs and sleeping their own filth as compassion. That's not you having compassion for that person, that's you letting them die in the street and us stepping over them. Newsom, there's some sort of disconnect that the left has with homelessness that misses the point and the cause. And they do it volitionally, they do it intentionally. But I don't know why they need to turn it into a political point, which is kind of to say like, all right, I'll give you. All right, let's break down the game. Film the left. Most Democrats, a lot of left. The border was open essentially for the last four years, it was ostensibly open. And the word got out to the world that the border was open and people were flowing through. And then they were taking these people and relocating them all over the place. Now you go, why would Joe Biden do that? What's in it for him to do that? And you go, well, these people, all 12 million of them, or 20 million or whatever the number is, we don't have a count because we don't know they're gonna vote Democrat. So if you were saying to me all these people were gonna come in, like, if you said, adam, you're in charge of the border, I was like, okay, now we're a sovereign nation. We need you to do a good job protecting our nation at the border. And I was like, okay, yeah, all right. But all those people are going to subscribe to your podcast if they can get here. I'd be like, okay, all right, all right, all right, I got it, I got it. And then I would Stall for four years. Because I know every single person that came here is one more listener for me. Right? And then you'd go, adam, what's going on at the board? And I'd go, hey, man, I told Congress to do something about it, but they wouldn't listen to me. I can't do nothing myself. There's nothing I can do. I told. I told my vice president to go down. That put her in charge. Well, she's never been to the border. Well, she's around, though, you know, and then I just sat there and just kept stalling and stalling and stalling while everyone came across. Now, I understand what they're doing. They're trying to get more people to vote for them. That's a strategy. And, you know, politics. That's how it works. It may ruin the country, but you're gonna be in power for the rest of your life. Okay, good. I get what they're doing. Homelessness. I don't get what they're doing. What's in it for you? Why is this? Why you're ruining your state and you're pissing off all the taxpayers. Why are you perpetuating this? What's in it for you? Why are you doing this? Gavin Newsom, when he was sitting. Right when you're sitting. I got a 42 second clip. He was telling me that the homeless problem. I told him it was drug addicts and insane people.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is 100% of the homeless problem. And he told me it was moms. Moms with two kids who are just divorced with a full time job. That was a real. I'll play it to you. This is the guy who's gonna solve homelessness.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I'm a mom. I had no money when I got divorced. I have zero daughter.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Should have divorced me. Here we go. This notion of, like, the guy's a hard working, God fearing family member who lost his job and now had to take to the streets is total nutter bullshit. But what about the picture of real.

[Morgan Langley]

Homelessness, which is a poor mom with.

[Adam Carolla]

Two kids with a husband who took off and left her, who's sitting there struggling on that minimum wage job and.

[Morgan Langley]

All of a sudden now is out.

[Adam Carolla]

In the streets and sidewalks desperately trying to find some help, get a life back. Can't get those kids in a childhood. I think that's what happened to. I pause it. What is he talking about? What is he. What is he discussing? The thing that has never happened, I believe. Yes.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

How's that guy gonna solve homelessness when he doesn't know what's he doing politically. Why is it up? Why does he want to scramble this the way he wants to scramble it? He doesn't. He knows that's not what it is. It's fucking junkies.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

That mom sounds like Meghan Markle. Just the mom has two kids, left the palace. Yeah. First of all, in China drugs are not legal. If you are caught doing cocaine, you it's death sentence. So just shoot them and then if someone is crazy, put them in place where falls crazy. It's clean, the street is clean. Nobody's paying nothing. Why would I pay for someone's drug problem? Them.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, how would he ever solve homelessness if this is his version of homelessness?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Because actually he's being, he's. He knows what's going on.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he said a few things. He said he was wrong like eight times in 21 seconds. He was like mother of two who's divorced by the. You can't just get divorced in California and just leave. You know, there's courts, there's child support, there's payments, there's.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Unless a Chinese man from Shanghai, that could happen, but it's very rare.

[Adam Carolla]

You're gainfully employed. But the point is. The point is that mother moves back in with her mother and lives in the spare room with her two kids. By the way, he said the mom had a full time job too.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

So moved to a studio apartments.

[Adam Carolla]

He found a person that does not exist, that no one's ever seen. That's never happened. And then he decided that was the true face of homelessness. Which means he's insane. But not, not the guy to solve the problem.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

If he don't see the problem the right way, he ignore the problem.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What's bizarre is today it seems like you totally agreed with them down to the word. Because the quote from this article is there's nothing compassionate about letting people die on the streets.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

If you are gonna choose to shoot cocaine, you should die. What can I do for you? I mean, I'm an alcoholic. If I keep drinking, I'm gonna die. Should you pay for my fucking kids? No.

[Adam Carolla]

Me. That's what I love.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Fix your problems. You're a fucking loser. You're a weak and you have a problem. Go to rehab. You can't afford it, don't do it or kill yourself. I don't know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, there's no rehab, so there's no asylums for all these inmates. Like everybody's poured out on the street. There's nowhere to put them. You know what I Mean, well, listen.

[Adam Carolla]

They spent $24 billion. Camps in the desert is a good place to go. Yeah, because here's the. Well, first off, I told him it's mental people and drug addicts. And he's like, but what about the real face? Get out.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

What's the real face?

[Adam Carolla]

The mom, Meghan Markle, loves the palace.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

She lives in the mansion next to Oprah. She is not as good as used to be, but she will be okay. She's a size 2.

[Adam Carolla]

She's Xiao Yang. Do you. Do you get disgusted at the rich women who try to pretend like they're ordinary women? Like, I have to get up in the morning, I have to make everyone lunch. Then I have to drive them to two separate. You understand? My seven year old and my nine year old go to two different private schools. So I gotta drop them off at both of those. Oh, cry me or whatever, spit on.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Her face and give her Covid. Just to think. It's just so gross. Just be real. It's okay. That's why I like the Kardashians. They are. But they are honest. They love money. They just. They're just honest. And like, I hate when Meghan Markle just her cooking show and she just like, I miss my son. I miss him. When traveling, I would make a video, reading a book and send my maid to play. FaceTime him, bitch. FaceTime him, bitch. You fucking fake piece of shit. She's so gross. I wanna speak.

[Adam Carolla]

I hate her.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Someone just says, just say something about it. It's ridiculous.

[Adam Carolla]

There's something that drives me nuts. And you know what? I don't have a lot of cultural appropriation for me, I'm just a white dude from the Valley. But I'll tell you what's cultural appropriation for me. Pretending to be poor. I fucking hate that. I don't know why. It drives me nuts when they pretend to do regular stuff or poor stuff or whatever. That shit is bullshit.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, she told me about the LA rioting and there's snow everywhere. People are shooting. She was in Palm Springs. Her father sent her to Palm. She went to Harvard, Westlake. She's fine. She said I was so poor, I never knew the queen. You have a photo of you standing in front of the Buckingham. Buckingham palace. And she said, I don't know the queen. What is the queen? She was on a showed suit. Queen's face is on the fucking currency of Canada. Fucking bitch.

[Adam Carolla]

I met her husband.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He was a nice guy.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I mean, he's dumb. That's why she's with him. If he had brain, he's not gonna take.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I agree. I don't like the. I never knew who this person was before. Really. A lot of people don't have armed security details around them. Normal folk. You know what the greatest one is? Karl Malone. NBA legend Karl Malone. Karl Malone's in the. He's in the hall of fame at a top five scorer of all time. Karl Malone, nicknamed the Mailman. His wife claimed she thought he was an actual mailman. He was at the mall signing autographs with a line like 300 people long. You think that's what postal carriers do?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Six foot seven.

[Adam Carolla]

Six foot seven, black guy chiseled out of granite. Yeah, He's. He's dropping off the penny saver at the house. That's what he does. He's got a pith helmet. He's got a cart with three wheels and a handbrake.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, do you really need.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The brake in that little stupid car with the whole.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm picturing the three wheel cart. He's pushing around with the handbrake on it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

High shorts, khakis. But they're blue.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. We hate Meghan Markle, right?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I can't stand fakeness. I just. Just. It's okay. She want to be Princess Diana. I know. She wants die, bitch, die.

[Adam Carolla]

Y. Also, she's always claiming racial profiling, racial misdeeds. When you look at her, there's nobody goes, get that black chick out of here.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, you just look at her. She doesn't present. You don't think that way. There's no.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

She has natural black hair, but she bleaches every day to make it straight like an Asian c. She look like a fucking geisha. I'm like, what are you talking about?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

She's passing.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. Enjoy your beauty. Have an afro. You know she doesn't have afro. She did. Has the hair, but she does the treatment.

[Adam Carolla]

Kinky hair.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

So her hair look chinky.

[Adam Carolla]

Chinky or kinky?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Chinky.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, one. From kinky to chinky.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Chinese. Like straight Chinese. Chinky hair. Like geisha. Just like. I don't. You're not black. Come on. You are Obama. You're half black.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, all right, you guys, one more. One and a half. Two more.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. You guys travel a lot? A woman divides the frequent flyers after bringing a whole rotisserie chick into through airport security.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

She's hot. She can be forgiven.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

She's a really hot Instagram type girl. Yeah. Everybody's fired up. I want to get Your opinions on this?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, here's the thing. I bring in. Okay? Okay. Once you're inside the airplane, it's like you're in a prison, okay? And remember, once in a blue moon, like in your shitty junior high, some kid would show up with McDonald's, and he'd be like, oh, now, outside, who cares? Inside, highly coveted. You know what I mean?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And also, it smells good. You know? And so once in a while, someone will get a Chipotle burrito or In N Out burger or something. They'll be sitting there, and all of a sudden, I'm, like, being tortured. Now, as long as we're all eating the same slop, I don't care. But you got the In N Out burger, and I can smell it from where I'm sitting. I think you can eat whatever you want, but the smell can't waft if I'm sitting three rows back going, oh, I wish I had that breakfast burrito so bad right now. So I'm gonna go offer that guy $72 to have one bite. I'll offer you $70. I just want one bite of that breakfast burrito. That's torture. You can't. You can bring melon slices. You can bring anything cold. You can bring. If that's rotisserie chicken and it's cold, I don't care. But if anything that wafts and has that savory smell, it's torture. I ate.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, I ate really good before the plane. One time, got on the Southwest, did the gamble, said, okay, I'll sit next to this lady.

[Adam Carolla]

Hot lady.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Like this lady. And as the plane was filling up, I had to make a choice. Southwest. I said, screw it. I'm gonna sit next to this hot lady and let some skinny little dude sit right here. This little black dude busted out the stinkiest, most disgusting chicken sandwich and made me watch him woof it down. I wanted to vomit the entire time.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

No stinky food. That's scary.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's say this. Let's say this.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Biggest mistake.

[Adam Carolla]

I think the plane should be treated like the movie theater when I was a kid. You're not allowed to just bring your own candy in there. You want candy, you buy it at the mov. You want a hummus box, it's $11. They'll give you a hummus box. They'll give you some trail mix or some Fiesta mix snack. You can buy a Coors Light or whatever it is, but you don't get to pack on your own food. And for flights under two hours, no Way you flying from here to Phoenix, you don't get to bring your own smorgasbord out there. It's like you're gonna be in the air for 47 minutes. You have a fucking bite at the airport. Go by Guy Fieri's stand, bust out a charcuterie board. You wanna know a power move? I don't think you would ever done this, but, yeah, tell me maybe you would have done it. Mayhem would have done it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Me and Mike August sitting at the Burbank Airport. The guy. I don't care how rich I ever get. I'm never gonna be rich enough to go by Guy Fieri stand and pay $27 for a salad and $31 for a sandwich. You know what I mean? Okay. I'm never. I don't care how much money I have.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not paying 28 bucks for a fucking tuna sandwich.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

That's a bad deal.

[Adam Carolla]

It's morally wrong.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Morally wrong. And you're going to be punished by money God.

[Adam Carolla]

He's only a portrait. The money God. The money God. The baby golden Buddha.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. He will punish me the next day. You won't be rich.

[Adam Carolla]

Next life, I'll be drinking my own urine with Leon.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. Yeah. That's how money God works. I don't do that kind of shit. I go to the United Club, I put everything in my bag for two years.

[Adam Carolla]

Good, good.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I bag up, I go to the Apple. I said, me from a certain country world. Me hungry. And I just keep banging things. I got recognized by a fan. I'm like, no, I'm not this August.

[Adam Carolla]

August couldn't make it into the United Club. Last time I was on the road, I took a plate, filled it full of food, put it in my backpack, put the lid plate on it and carried it like I was carrying a pillow with golden slippers on it, you know, out of the place. It should have been suspicious, me carrying my backpack like I was making an army offering or something, you know? But I walk that shit right through the terminal, pull the shit out, Mike, Devour Mike. And I sitting at Burbank. Person next to me gets the full Guy Fieri salad and the full Guy Fieri sandwich takes a bite out of each one, gets up and leaves to go make their plate plain. Mike and I just look at that sandwich and go, let's get that shit.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

We just reached over the meat out.

[Adam Carolla]

We brought it over, we ate the whole thing.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I love them very.

[Adam Carolla]

Salad, everything demolished. No problem.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I've never connected with anyone deeper Than this.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? This is important bonding we're doing. Yeah, it's. You would do it too.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Oh, for sure. I totally do it. I would totally do it.

[Adam Carolla]

We didn't even eat around the part where the person bit into. We just went right in. We started. You know, you start on the side of the sandwich that's not the bite side, but you make your way to the bite side.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. Nice thing.

[Adam Carolla]

At some point, you're in.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But you ate the germs backwards, so it doesn't matter.

[Adam Carolla]

I started from the back and worked my way to the germ.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Germ is good for you. I don't take any medication when I get sick. I don't take a cold. I have never take. I didn't even have a warrior I was giving a baby. I'm like, this is for the weak. Good.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I love that.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

So I can abuse my son. I have something.

[Adam Carolla]

What kind of mind buys 56 bucks worth of Guy Fieri shit, throws it out on the table, takes a bite and a half, and this goes, I'm good. And then she gets up and starts walking down the terminal. Didn't even throw it. I would pack that shit up.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd grab napkins and make a pinata out of that shit and put it in my backpack and carry it onto the plane.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. That person is the money God's slave. He's. Yeah, he's done.

[Adam Carolla]

Next life trouble.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, he's. He's not gonna last. He's gonna be poor very soon. He's like, he won a lottery. Like, when poor people won a lottery, they got homeless next day because they don't deserve it. This guy's money came from somewhere not legal. He did not earn it. He did not enjoy it, and he's gonna be poor very soon.

[Adam Carolla]

And then Mike and I are gonna be conversely rewarded in heaven for eating all those floppy seconds of people leaving stupid food at an airport.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Moneyguard is erect.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Very proud.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, what are we talking about?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, food on the plane.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, listen. No food, no dogs. No. No boom boxes. No nothing. I'm a dog.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Bit on the food anyway, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, say this how. Look, there is, if you think about it, an airplane, especially in Coach, you got 145 people in a space that could comfortably house 18 people. Like, we're really thinking about. You have packed. I can't even stand up straight. You know, you packed all this humanity into almost no cubic feet. Right. I mean, it's just. There just. There's never been that. It'd be like if an Uber showed up and you put 11 people in a. In a Camry. That's. That's basically what flying is. And I'm just saying, your own personal food, your own personal dog. You're farting, belching. It's all off in this because of the. We're so fucking confined for this period of time that whatever it is you do on the ground when people are spaced out, you cannot do here.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, it's a slum. In prison, you just basically, you don't breathe. Just hold your breath, don't fart. Just be a good person. Do better.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. This guy. You should have to earn a license. Not a pilot's license, but a license to fly, to be a passenger. The last time we came back from flew coach to Florida with a layover, it took like 12 hours to get to this gig. The person behind me treated my seat like it was a grab bar and he was getting off the toilet. He was a fat guy. Every time this person got up, they just grabbed my seat and went, huh? And I was like, doink. And I'm like, dude, not. You're 45 and you're not aware of the concept that you're getting up out of your seat and you're grabbing my seat and pulling it back three inches and then letting it go like a wrist rocket. I'm swinging forward. Like, do you not know this?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

He in video space. He got iron long. You should shoot him.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. I should punch him. You're unaware of the fact that you grabbing the seat in front of you and flexing it like, I get it. It's easier for you to get up that way. I got to do the Bart Connor, you know, double bar. I do the move. But you do know this, right? Have you flown before? Has anyone told you this?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Catapult Corolla for pulling.

[Adam Carolla]

He just kept pulling on it. And then I look back like 43 year old white dude. I've probably been flying for 25 years. Like, does anybody.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Nobody say anything? People are so woke. I have a baby kicking my seat. Just non stop and kicking and laughing. I'm like, control your baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

This woman's like, excuse me? I said, you heard me. I speak English. Control your baby. She's like, he's a baby. I had one too. Mine don't kick because I slap him, right? She's like, I'm serious. I'm gonna say it every time if you kick me.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

She's like, you'll traumatize him. He Deserves it. He needs it. He'll be a better person that way.

[Adam Carolla]

To people that just let their kids just run roughshod. Yeah. It's like a fucking. Control your fucking animal.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes. Control your baby. That's what I said. She was, she was just like, that's rude.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you think about the uncontrollable crying? I had a kid two hours non stop. I would put a sweat jacket over his head.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. I would have muffled that kid's crying. As a mother, you gather your fat ass up, you carry the baby, put your nipple in his mouth and walk around in the bathroom and just, just suck. Put the nipple in the baby and sit in the bathroom. Just like, don't embarrass because the baby shouldn't. It just is bad for the baby. Next time he cries, he's not grabbing a little and people are gonna beat him up and it's gonna be bad. He has to know, don't disturb other people. Right. Be a good person. It's not good for the baby. Like my baby is crying.

[Adam Carolla]

Huh?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

No, you, you hide this little shit somewhere. Put a nipple in his mouth, cover it up and just shake it.

[Adam Carolla]

Just shake it, shake it with the nipple.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. And play white noise in the ear. Just don't like you can't do this to human. Like there's so many people the comma of that baby. Like people have garage. They hold a garage. They don't say anything like oh, this baby. Like it's like a prayer. You pray for someone. You know, the, the good things happen to them also. Like there's like a lot of people pray for someone. If someone's like that baby in their heart, the garage is going to cause bad grudge. Yeah. People hold towards this garage is where.

[Adam Carolla]

You keep your garage. But a garage.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Garage grudge. I can't say it. A grudge.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's good.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Like a mouth taking my mouth. Grudge. Okay. Grudge.

[Adam Carolla]

Look at the grudge.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Look at the grudge people. The hatred, I mean whatever. The hatred people towards your baby is gonna cause him bad things in his future. It's not for you.

[Adam Carolla]

I like where your head's at.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah. It's not.

[Adam Carolla]

So the guy who left the guy Fieri food's gonna get the bad poor karma Jean. In his next lifetime, me and Mike August are gonna be rewarded handsomely. Eating fireballs in every sloppy left behind us. Right. And the baby is gonna get bad Buddha karma because everyone has a plane. It's like, would you shut the up? Would you shut up? So here you are. You're like 13 months old and you have 50 people cursing you with the bad juju. Shut up. Shut up.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yes. As a mother, your job is to protect your baby's future and his karma. You go to the bathroom when you're karma? Yeah. Karma is real.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

And it's a bitch.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's in the garage.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

It's in the garage.

[Adam Carolla]

You ever have a big garage match back in the day? When? In the ufc.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Chinese are crazy. We just. That's how my mind works. I'm not nice. I'm not nice.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's good.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Efficient.

[Adam Carolla]

It keeps people in line.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Yeah, it does. It does. Don't be an.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

You are not winning for being an asshole.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't want people holding a garage against your kid.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I can't drive.

[Adam Carolla]

You want that kid held in the garage? Yes. All right. I think we said about all we could say. Good news. Morgan Langley is out there. Cops. Guess what season cops is on?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

26.

[Adam Carolla]

Not bad.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Jelly.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

It's the Chicago Cops. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Now, how would you say a grunge band?

[Zhao Ying Summers]

What's grunge band? What does that mean?

[Adam Carolla]

Grunge band.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Grunge band.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Say a garage grunge band.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

A garage band.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Say the. Say the grudge.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's make a sentence. Let's make a sentence. Okay.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The garage.

[Adam Carolla]

Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam was a garage grunge band that held a grudge against their manager.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Pearl Jam is a garage grunge band that hold a garage against her manager.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's pretty damn good.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

I'm good. I'm like a monkey. I can learn.

[Adam Carolla]

It's damn good.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Much better than I'd ever anticipated. 36 years. COPS has been on 36 years. One year longer than you've been on this planet. How about that? All right, we'll talk to Morgan right after this. Homes.com. well, some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. And it may be that homes.com they have a super comprehensive and transparent agent directory that could be one of the reasons everyone loves it so much. Or Maybe it's at. Homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. But Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched. To highlight the personality of each neighborhood, homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com. we've done your homework. Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Wow. Love me some O'Reilly Auto Parts. You know the jingle. They're in the business of keeping your car on the road. O'Reilly Auto Parts offers friendly, helpful service and the parts knowledge you need for all your maintenance and repairs. I'm a car guy. I like turning a wrench, but I can't make the parts. I gotta go to O'Reilly to get the parts. And O'Reilly has the parts. Used to go the one out in North Hollywood. Now I go the one up on Foothill in La Crescenta. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, they are friend. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam Stream all the movies and shows you love for free on Pluto tv.

[Morgan Langley]

Say what now? Showtime.

[Adam Carolla]

That means drama is free. With heart wrenching stories from love and basketball power and Greenleaf. In this family we live by the.

[Morgan Langley]

Spirit in life, laughter is free with.

[Adam Carolla]

Gut busting comedies like Key and Peele, the Neighborhood Everybody Hates Chris and Boomerang. Watch all the hits all for free from all your favorite devices.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Oh my God, I love it.

[Adam Carolla]

Feel the free Pluto TV stream Now pay never.

[Dawson]

Adam Carolla Comes clean now available on the angel app is the fastest special to 2 million views in Dry Bar history.

[Adam Carolla]

Joe is, you know, he's getting a little up there at the end. I think they wanted him to stay on the prompter because when he got off the prompter, he got into trouble. But even when he stayed on the prompter, he got into trouble. Remember that speech? Four more years. Pause. That's not Joe's fault. Someone put the word pause on the prompter. If it's on the prompter, he's saying it.

[Dawson]

Watch. Adam Corolla comes clean free on [e-mail] Adam free. And join the Angel Guild and save 50 on your first three months at angel.com AdamCorola Adam Carolla comes clean now with available through Angel Studios. Let's get back to the Adam Corolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Serendipity. Morgan Langley's here. He just told me off. There he goes. I watch your clean special on Dry Bar. Enjoy funny man. Thanks.

[Morgan Langley]

Good stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

You watch Dry Bar stuff.

[Morgan Langley]

I just happened to see your special and I was like, oh, Adam Carolla is doing a Clean special.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was weird.

[Morgan Langley]

And did you, like, was that a challenge to yourself?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Morgan Langley]

Okay, that's what I figured. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it was right up there with Dancing with the Stars. Like, I was like, I can't dance. But it was.

[Morgan Langley]

It's a. It's a funny special.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, good. I'm glad you saw the first one. I think there's a second one, right?

[Morgan Langley]

I saw the first one.

[Adam Carolla]

Two cops 37 years, by the way.

[Morgan Langley]

Yeah, it's crazy. We, you know, we premiered with Cops Spring break on Fox Nation April last month, and then it's kind of confusing. Season 36 is still airing, and then the rest of season 37 premieres in September.

[Adam Carolla]

So now where are we with Cops? Not the TV show, but. But law enforcement and that. I grew up watching Adam 12. Now we're in some weird point where people are pushing cops and throwing stuff at them and dumping water on them and stuff. And I'm like, this is not what I'm looking for in a society.

[Morgan Langley]

A lot of people don't know this, but 2020, there were more ambush killings of cops than any year in something like 30 or 40 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Morgan Langley]

Yeah, yeah. That's a fact. But. And then also, one thing we've noticed was there was kind of a Cops before the pandemic. Right, Right. You know, you knew the guys on Spike, Sharon and Kevin, all those guys. Yeah, we were in business with them for a long time.

[Adam Carolla]

Sharon Levy.

[Morgan Langley]

Yeah, yeah, she's great. There was kind of a standard that we were used to with that show. And then the pandemic happened and there was the cancellation of the show and all that stuff. And by the time we brought it back, the world had changed, my friend. The world had changed. If you look at season 35, 36 or 37, any of the new stuff, you will see what I'm talking about. And to your point, there's a lot of disrespect. Like the police are trying to de escalate now because they've been trained to de escalate.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Morgan Langley]

But people are challenging the fuck up of them all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So we have put forth a very destructive and dangerous narrative that is basically driven by the left and CNN and black politicians and the race hustlers, which is anytime a black person is killed by law enforcement, even if they're not really killed by law enforcement, or even if they're wrestling, trying to get their gun away or where they have a heart attack in the middle, whatever, they just go. They go full into propaganda mode.

[Morgan Langley]

Media has Been a huge part of the problem, of course.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But what it is, it's a two way street because very recently, and Andrew, you can look this up, but I don't know, a week and a half ago, they just acquitted the black, the all black five, I think police officers had beat to death this young black guy in the street.

[Morgan Langley]

Noticed.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Now CNN not interested in that story. They're not interested in the narrative of that story. So it's two things. You can either go like if you're trying to create a narrative, you gotta go another case of a white cop killing a black citizen. If you show black cops killing a black citizen, then it screws with your narrative. So what CNN does is they go 24, seven on the white cop and the five black cops who beat to death a black citizen. And by the way, it's much more egregious than any of the ones they're holding up.

[Morgan Langley]

And to the point that you're making, which I do think is important for.

[Adam Carolla]

A while there, Tyree Nichols was the person that was beat to death.

[Morgan Langley]

Like media outlets, MSNBC or cnn, if you tried to actually quote data to them.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they don't want to hear that.

[Morgan Langley]

Right. About police shootings. Well, you can go to the Washington Post database that anybody can track this or you can read rolling Fryer or you can actually get factual information about this stuff. And when you do, it's disturbing because if you'd taken a poll up until very recently, 2020, 21, 22, and you said, guy on the street, how many unarmed black people are being shot by the police? You would have got numbers in the thousands. That's what they would have told you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Morgan Langley]

So the media did create an impression that this was like a war on black people. And that is concerning.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's concerning because the young black guy who's getting pulled over thinks he has to fight the cops in order to survive because CNN has told them there's a target on his back and he's gonna be executed in the street. So there's that part of it. So there's the part where you actually get more black people killed because of your propaganda campaign. And then there's a part of it where you're just create strife between races. You know you're gonna start a race war.

[Morgan Langley]

If, listen, if you doubt that this. Everybody's seen the George Floyd video. If you doubt that this happens sometimes to white people, then go watch the Tony Tempa video. Right. Have you seen that?

[Adam Carolla]

I've not seen.

[Morgan Langley]

It's A white guy who gets treated arguably even worse than that. Right. Somewhere in Texas.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Morgan Langley]

And I don't have all the context for it, but the point is, nobody cared.

[Adam Carolla]

Nobody.

[Morgan Langley]

Nobody cared. Listen, nobody cared about that video.

[Adam Carolla]

The worst cop shooting in cop history was the execution that took place in. Was it New Mexico?

[Morgan Langley]

Mark Garrigo, I agree 100 with you. Where the guy was running and the cop shot him in the back.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm talking about where the guy was crawling through a hallway of a hotel and the cops executed him laying on his belly.

[Morgan Langley]

I know the one in the park where the guy ran. The guy shot him in the back. And I saw that and I went, that's indefensible. You can't.

[Adam Carolla]

No, this is worse. This is worse.

[Morgan Langley]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

This isn't a cop killing. It's an execution of a citizen. It's, like, literally knocked on the guy's hotel room, came out in basketball trunks, no shirt or anything, just laid on the ground, begged for his life, and they just. They smoked it.

[Morgan Langley]

That's why the narrative.

[Adam Carolla]

But nobody cares.

[Morgan Langley]

That's why the narrative is so detestable and so concerning. Because these are things we should all care about, Right? We should care about these things.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Morgan Langley]

But to put forth a narrative that is, there's one group of people who's being uniquely threatened by law enforcement, and to perpetuate that widely is dangerous. And if you were, you know, if you were sort of a. Not a person of color at that time, you certainly could not comment about it for years and years and years. And now people are. I think heads have cooled. People have put it in the proper context to some extent, at least most.

[Adam Carolla]

People, I think what we're dealing with as it pertains to themes. So it's like Covid had a theme.

[Morgan Langley]

It certainly did.

[Adam Carolla]

And. And Covid was mostly all bullshit, but with a strong theme. And so what you had.

[Morgan Langley]

Great narrative. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What you had is, I don't know, 15 or 20% of the people buying the bullshit, like, mainlining the bullshit. And then you probably had another 20 to 25 who are just sort of in for the bullshit ride. And then you had the 50% that were like, I'm just going along with this because I don't want to get into trouble. And anytime you have a large populace of people just going, I don't want to get into trouble. I don't want to get in trouble. I'll go along with it. So you take something like Covid, all bullshit or mostly all bullshit, with a bunch of Scared people. And then you take something like the whole transgender thing, like everyone's fucking 14 year olds getting their tits cut off. And like, I just don't want any trouble. I don't want any trouble. And then you have these white cops are executing black people. And the biggest danger we have is white supremacy in this country. It's not black on black crime or whatever. And you have a whole bunch of fucking people going, I don't wanna get in any trouble. I'm going along for the ride.

[Morgan Langley]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

You are the cowards and you are perpetuating this. Do not expect CNN or Al Sharpton to intervene. They're not gonna intervene. Fauci's not gonna intervene with COVID and neither is Biden, and neither is Gavin Newsom. They're cowards that are politicized and they're bought and paid for. They're doing their job. You understand? It's you fucking pussies that put your fucking head between your legs and go along with it, which perpetuates this. And that's why there's a pox on you. Because other people are just teachers unions, leaders. Everyone wants to get paid. What about you? You're the fucking cowards. And you could stop it.

[Morgan Langley]

There were some people who spoke out other than the most heated moments. There were some people who. Glenn Lowry, who you may be aware of, who's a conservative economist, you know, kind of an American treasure on the conservative side, went on Bill Maher's podcast in the middle of the most heated moments of the 2020 stuff and said, listen, I'm gonna break down some facts for you. This is not a first order threat, Covid. To black people. No, the cops killed.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not even anything he said.

[Morgan Langley]

Don't let's put this in perspective. And because he was, you know, a noted black intellectual, it was hard to fuck with him. But he was still pushed aside when people didn't really care. And they moved on to the narrative.

[Adam Carolla]

Not having a dad is gonna ruin your life. Young black people, not the cops. Well, there you go. Statistically, I would say that's 1,000% fair. Fair? Come on, CNN, you're getting black people killed. Fucking hustlers. It's sad. Cause they really have. At a certain point, they have blood on their hands.

[Morgan Langley]

But they are in, you know, obviously precipitous decline at this point.

[Adam Carolla]

No, nobody listen. It's the funniest thing. Jake Tapper writing a book about. Hey, the White House wouldn't tell us that, Joe. Okay? He who shilled for the White House for five years or whatever. He who shills for all Democrats, all you do is lie. He should be humiliated that he wrote a book.

[Morgan Langley]

You've seen the numbers. It's. It's like this. Nobody under the age of 65 is watching any of that stuff. So they know that it's over.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I agree. No, but here's my thing. Why would I ever listen to a fucking word that came out of Jake Tapper's mouth ever again? Or Fauci or Newsom or whomever. These guys, all they do is lie and then at some point they circle around.

[Morgan Langley]

Newsom is tacking to the right right now you're seeing him, right? He did. He's moving to the center, at least optically. Yes, he's pretending to move to the center. Right. With his comment about trans sports, right. He said, yeah, there should be fairness. I care about sports. In this sort of post Trump election era, people are worried about optics, and even Gavin Newsom is worried about the optics.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Morgan Langley]

Looking too crazy lefty, right?

[Adam Carolla]

He's worried about. Here's what Gavin Newsom is. He's nothing. He's whatever somebody wants him to be. He's like a fucking call girl who has a couple German clients in town and they go, what do you want me to wear? He's kind of stupid, and that's what he'll do.

[Morgan Langley]

He has a little bit of political talent. He's kind of sick, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no. He lies his ass off and then moves forward. And people don't have the skill to deal with it. You gotta keep circling back with him.

[Morgan Langley]

He may yet be president, my friend. I hope. I hope not. But he certainly has some talent and he has an incredible amount of ambition, clearly, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just so enamored with the Jake Tappers of the world who act like. And you know what? This is what I love about the Internet, because they just put together five minute montages of him lying his fucking ass off or being completely full of shit, and then they just run at ad nauseam on the Internet. And I just love it.

[Morgan Langley]

No, I mean, listen, same with Fauci.

[Adam Carolla]

Same with all of them.

[Morgan Langley]

That's the deal. It's a more open information ecosystem now. You can't perpetuate narratives in that way anymore. I think we may look back and see what happened in 2020 leading up to this moment as sort of the last time when you could perpetuate grand narratives in the mainstream media. Yeah, no, I think it's over.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. We're gonna realize that Maybe Covid undid the mainstream media. Covid brought them down. Like the real danger was not the virus, it was the destruction of mainstream media with COVID Because they all lied. And they lied early, and they lied consistently, and they lied straight on through. And then they did the thing that was always despicable, which is not only did they. It wasn't enough that they lie. It was that they had to try to destroy those who were seeking the truth.

[Morgan Langley]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the beauty of it. I just love. This is a Tapper. Tapper. I was gonna get to this tomorrow, and I will, but Tapper's writing a book claiming that the White House lied to him about Biden's condition. How come everyone who wasn't on CNN knew about Biden's condition? And by the way, what is it you want the White House to tell you?

[Morgan Langley]

Let me tell you.

[Adam Carolla]

We have a diminished president. They're not gonna say that. You're. You're a journalist, right?

[Morgan Langley]

I am, in fact, a lifelong political independent. And let me tell you something. When the. When the Democrats were repudiated, I was incredibly happy. And the reason I was incredibly happy was because you cannot gaslight the American public.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm glad. I'm glad.

[Morgan Langley]

You cannot gaslight.

[Adam Carolla]

You can gaslight them for a period of time, but not in perpetuity.

[Morgan Langley]

Not in perpetuity. And that was the deal. They were gaslighting the American public on a number of things, and they paid the price for that politically. So regardless of what you think about Trump, all this other stuff, you should celebrate that.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they ran a Ponzi scheme. And the Ponzi scheme, okay, there's sort of long term, prudent investments, and then there's Ponzi schemes.

[Morgan Langley]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Ponzi schemes, you get a lot of cash up front, but they burn out pretty quick. And so what they did with COVID and what they did with Biden and what they did with Russian collusion and what they did with Hunter Biden's laptop was a Ponzi scheme. They went, this is red meat for our base. We're gonna hit it early and often. But now the Ponzi scheme has run out. And we look at these guys as charlatans because they were so wrong. They lied about everything.

[Morgan Langley]

That's how they came. Could spend $2 billion trying to elect a candidate and fail. $2 billion.

[Adam Carolla]

Because the Ponzi scheme ran out Dollars, my friend.

[Morgan Langley]

I mean, it's wild stuff. We're living through some pretty wild times here.

[Adam Carolla]

I got this clip, which is Great. Because Laura Trump in October of 2020 is explaining Jake Tapper that. That Biden is diminished. And then Jake Tapper. I was always curious about this. They all picked this weird angle, which is Biden used to have a stutter. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know, guys. Herschel Walker had a stutter, but he didn't fall down staircases going to an airplane. You know what I mean? Historically, there's been many athletes that have stutters or speech impediments, but also won the Heisman and also run a 4, 440. This is not a stutter.

[Morgan Langley]

This is a diminished person who is insanely dishonest. I'll tell you what upset me even more than that was because I was a fan of journalists like Taibbi and Shellenberger, guys like that. When they went in front of that congressional hearing with the Democrats. Did you see that clip?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Morgan Langley]

And they were just excoriated. The Democrats were. It was all ad hominem attacks. It was like, like, you're a scumbag. You're a so called liberal journalist.

[Adam Carolla]

You're.

[Morgan Langley]

This. That really disgusted me.

[Adam Carolla]

It should have. Because you were like, these guys are seeking the truth.

[Morgan Langley]

It disgusted me. And I thought, you know what? Noted. Deborah Wasserman Schultz is up there who was a very corrupt person. Right. We know that. We know what she did with the Clinton campaign. We know that stuff. So they're gonna take journalists who have been liberal journalists for their entire careers. Both of these guys were liberal journalists.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Morgan Langley]

But they walked across the wrong rail. Right. They rocked across the wrong rail. And now we're coming for you, man, just like everybody else. And that was such a. What I believe is that they sacrificed their own principles so much after 2016 because they said, there's an evil orange guy over here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Morgan Langley]

If we don't fight this guy, you know, and sacrifice everything we believe in that we should believe in to do it, but then we're lost. I guess they thought it false.

[Adam Carolla]

It's despicable.

[Morgan Langley]

It's horrible. It's the worst thing I've ever seen happen. And they deserve their 22% approval rating or whatever it is.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll play this clip because lar Trump 2020 October.

[Morgan Langley]

Yeah. I think what we see on stage with Joe Biden, Jake, is very clearly a cognitive decline.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm referring to. You are. No, that's so amazing.

[Morgan Langley]

It's so amazing to me that.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Try and figure out an answer.

[Adam Carolla]

A cognitive decline.

[Morgan Langley]

You're trying to tell me that what.

[Adam Carolla]

I was suggesting was. I think you were mocking his stutter. Yeah, I think you were mocking his stutter. And I think you have absolutely no standing to diagnose somebody's cognitive decline. I would think that somebody in the Trump family would be more sensitive to people who do not have medical licenses. Diagnosing politicians from afar. Clinical psychologist is calling on the American Psychiatric association. First off, this thing where they go, you're not a doctor. No, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a doctor. But Sean Penn played a retarded guy in a movie, and I knew which character was retarded in the movie. You know what I mean? Like I saw Rain Man. No, I'm not a physician. Not a physician, but I saw that Dustin Hoffman played someone who was impaired. Is that, Could I. Is that fair?

[Morgan Langley]

No, that's off limits as an off limit.

[Adam Carolla]

He had a stutter or he was impaired, but there was never a stutter allegation. It was more about, look at the way the guy walks. He can't find the direction, he can't go up the stairs, he fell off the pike. It's not a stutter. You not knowing the name of Vladimir Putin is not a stutter. None of it's a stutter. It's so transparent.

[Morgan Langley]

Look, even when the Wall Street Journal did their piece, right before everything was revealed, the Wall Street Journal did a piece which was basically like, there's evidence that Biden's in serious decline. Right, Right. All the mainstream media players did the same thing. They said, can you believe this right wing disinformation nonsense that's going on? So even when it was WSJ, they were willing to do all that stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So Jake Tapper should not be listened to. And the revisionist history is awful off the chain. I mean, you have these people that were screaming at everyone to close schools down for two years going, I wanted to open the schools a. We have film, we have tape, we have endless hours of you saying, close the schools down.

[Morgan Langley]

No kid needed a shot. Obviously we didn't need to give endless.

[Adam Carolla]

Hours of you saying all of it. This is this revisionist history that everyone tries to do in the face of high def video of them looking into a camera and saying the opposite two or three years ago is insane and insulting that they even try to pull it off.

[Morgan Langley]

Well, people went crazy during the pandemic years and I. They went crazy. I don't think we've recovered. I really don't think we're close. Yeah, well, depends on which segment of society you're talking about. Okay, yes, but on our show we've seen that it's crazy out there.

[Adam Carolla]

Have you noticed that the criminal element is gone or society?

[Morgan Langley]

Let me give you an example. So we need 99 segments to make 33 episodes of Cops every year. Right? Three per, three per half hour. In a normal year we'll shoot a little bit more than that. Maybe 130 segments or something. We've used 99 of the best one ones. Last year our people submitted 350 stories.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? And stories that would be compelling or. Oh my God, can you believe this?

[Morgan Langley]

What's that person doing? So it's even better for the show because we're still going to use the same formula. We're going to use the best of the best stuff for the show. You know what I mean? But that does not happen in a normal society or a normal year. That much action on the ground with, with police in urban cities, rural cities, all over America. And as I said, with people just so willing to. The cops trained to de. Escalate now. But anybody they come into counter with will challenge them in a number of ways, right? All kinds of ways. They'll accuse them of being murderers. They're, you know, it's all that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's really the powers that be, the race hustlers, the CNN folks and the Bidens over there talking about the systemic racism and all that. Jasmine Crockett and all the other hustlers, they're getting people killed. They have blood on their hands as far as I'm concerned.

[Morgan Langley]

This is my favorite one because there were a lot of lies that people Inaccuracy said about the show during that time. But one of my favorite ones about Cops. Yeah, one of my favorite it was Copaganda. It's all racist. Copaganda. My favorite one was this one guy who did a systematic analysis of the show for race, not for the officers who appeared because they wouldn't care about the officers, just for the suspects. So he takes 900 episodes of Cops, does a statistical analysis to see like what percentage, what percentage are black. Right. That's really what he was interested in.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Morgan Langley]

He gets the results and it shows that it's basically the percentage of black people with Cops is equal to that of the American population in our show. Right? It's not. So they're factually 13%.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Morgan Langley]

Whatever. It was basically equal to that.

[Adam Carolla]

Not equal to the amount involved in crime.

[Morgan Langley]

No, no. All right. So when people said, oh It's a racist show. It over represents black people. It was factually incorrect. No, nobody cared. Nobody cared. But. So this guy did this, ran the data, got the answer, didn't like the answer.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Morgan Langley]

Reanalyzed 200 other episodes of the show, concluded that too many black people appeared in the first act of the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, the first.

[Morgan Langley]

Therefore, the show's racist.

[Adam Carolla]

Interesting.

[Morgan Langley]

And I got a follow up through this. I knew that it was like a podcast guy coming to this conclusion. And I was like, I've got to tell you, my friend, I've worked on this show since I was a kid. I've never been aware that there are more of one group or another in the first act of the show. Because that's not the criteria for the.

[Adam Carolla]

First act of the show.

[Morgan Langley]

Yeah, but, you know, it doesn't matter. There was no good faith. People did what they did.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's weird. I was thinking about it today, which is. And I noticed it about a month ago, probably about six weeks ago, Elon and Doge hit full. You know, we're in full Elon swing and Doge swing. And I said to Dr. Drew, I said for the first time in my memory, we took like 10 minutes off of race and we moved to billionaires for just a moment. There was just a moment when all the race hustlers were just talking about billionaires and they stopped with race. Cnn, Jasmine Crockett, all the Al Sharptons, they're all on billionaires. And I was sort of like, well, this is a nice break from them constantly talking about race. But it lasted like two weeks. And now we went. We hit race harder in the last two weeks than we have, you know, 20 years ago.

[Morgan Langley]

Just as if you're as old as you or I and you've lived in this country, you know that we did not always have this level of hysteria about race.

[Adam Carolla]

No, nobody cared.

[Morgan Langley]

It was not a thing. If you. I grew up, you know, 80s, 90s. It was not.

[Adam Carolla]

It wasn't. Look, I told.

[Morgan Langley]

I told people. And that's not to ignore that there are things that persist and issues that persist. I'm not, you know, we all know there are. But in terms of actual conscious racism among the population.

[Adam Carolla]

No, listen, Los Angeles had. Tom Bradley was the mayor in, like 1972. Black man. Nobody cared. He was mayor for like 30 years. Nobody cared.

[Morgan Langley]

I grew up in an environment where that was the worst thing you could be. Was. Was some kind of a racist. Right? That was the.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely.

[Morgan Langley]

It was just. It was totally.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone loved.

[Morgan Langley]

It was Frowned upon. And it was disgusting. And nobody and nobody got away with that. So it was really interesting to grow up in an environment like that and then see the country change in the way that it has. It shows you the perniciousness of false narratives.

[Adam Carolla]

It's pernicious.

[Morgan Langley]

And that people are still subject to this stuff. And people believe it. People believe it.

[Adam Carolla]

It's so sad and it's so debilitating to think that you're in a country that doesn't want you if you're like a young black woman. And it's horrible. It's the most damage you can.

[Morgan Langley]

It wouldn't be America without black people. Everybody knows that. Come on, give me a break. Black culture is American culture. I mean, come on.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's an insane premise, but it's basically.

[Morgan Langley]

It is an insane premise, but people believe it. I know they do. People fall for it all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they do. I mean, look, there's Gays for Palestine. You know what I mean? They just go for everything.

[Morgan Langley]

I'll tell you what's even sadder to me. When we had all of this activism, in the end, all BLM wanted to do was really make YouTube videos in a mansion or whatever. It was like, there's nobody really any kind of activism who wants to actually address issues. It's all performative now.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it is.

[Morgan Langley]

There's nobody out there. There used to be people on both sides, Republican, Democrat, who would actually go out and try to, you know, make education better. They try to, you know, improve standards in one way or another for actual people. I feel like we're in a world where it's all performativity now and none of that matters. It's all about the optics.

[Adam Carolla]

It's all performative because there's really nothing an outside group can do for a culture or a group other than dads. Stay families intact. Focus on education.

[Morgan Langley]

Just focus on culture, values.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all. That's all. All you can do. You opening up midnight basketball?

[Morgan Langley]

I don't believe in a government program.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm talking about all the. All the professional hustlers that take checks from all the companies saying they're going to do something. They don't do anything.

[Morgan Langley]

Yeah, that's all corrupt, too. That's the other problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, look, we spent 24 billion on homelessness in Los Angeles. We got more homelessness. Like, it's not. It's all Iraq.

[Morgan Langley]

I saw a doc on Netflix about Bobby Kennedy, not. Not RFK Jr. But his dad. And it really struck me that the things he were saying the things he was saying in 1968. This is supposed to be this liberal icon. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Morgan Langley]

Things he was saying in 68 would now be considered right wing.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Morgan Langley]

Because what he was saying was in these areas where we have poverty and disenfranchisement and it's horrible, what we need to do is not a government program. We don't need the Great Society. This is what Bobby Kennedy was saying. He was saying Great Society is a government program. We can't solve this through government. We need to bring in business initiatives and give these people development opportunities. We need to do this basically through markets, is what he was saying.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Morgan Langley]

And that was the thrust of Bobby Kennedy's 68 campaign. If you said that now, you would be considered right wing.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Well, most of the stuff they said then was considered right wing.

[Morgan Langley]

But real right wing. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I mean, there's countless footage of them talking about the border and taking jobs of Americans and all that kind of stuff. That's from the 90s. You don't have to go to the 60s. No.

[Morgan Langley]

Obama was hard on the border. Right, right.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me give it a plug. Morgan, it's season 37 and 36 around, right?

[Morgan Langley]

Thank you, sir. Yes. New episodes on Fox Nation. You know what they did that was great? It's a subscription service, but if you're military, police, or first responder, you get it free for a year.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's nice.

[Morgan Langley]

It was my favorite thing that they did. It was like, okay, that's great.

[Adam Carolla]

That is awesome. All right, I'm going to be in Bellflower doing stand up at Stand Up Comedy club. That'll be May 24th. Two shows out there. Go to AdamCorell.com for all the live shows and Jiangying Summers. You can go online and find her dates all over the place. Morgan, great to see you again, my friend.

[Morgan Langley]

You too, man.

[Adam Carolla]

And until next time, Sam from Morgan, Jiaying and Mayhem. Sam and Mahala.

[Dawson]

You can leave us a voicemail. The numbers 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see Adam Corolla at AdamCola.com.

[Adam Carolla]

Stream all the movies and shows you love for free on Pluto tv.

[Morgan Langley]

Say what now? Showtime.

[Adam Carolla]

That means drama is free. With heart wrenching stories from love and basketball power and green leaf. In this family we live by the.

[Morgan Langley]

Spirit and laughter is free.

[Adam Carolla]

With gut busting comedies like Key and Peele. The neighborhood everybody hates, Chris and Boomerang. Watch all the hits all for free from all your favorite devices.

[Zhao Ying Summers]

Oh, my God, I love it.

[Adam Carolla]

Feel the free Pluto TV stream now pay never.