Norman Lear + Harley Morenstein

Summary

Podcast Summary: Adam Carolla Show – Episode featuring Norman Lear and Harley Morenstein

Release Date: March 22, 2025
Guests: Norman Lear, Harley Morenstein
Host: Adam Carolla
Co-Host: Teresa Strasser
Other Contributors: Giovanni, Brian Bishop

---

Introduction

In this episode of The Adam Carolla Show, Adam Carolla teams up with co-host Teresa Strasser to delve into a variety of topics ranging from media interview techniques to the complexities of modern parenting. The episode also features reflections on the termination of their terrestrial radio show, engaging audience interactions, and a unique food segment examining picky eating habits. Additionally, the show pays homage to classic sitcoms with insights from none other than legendary television producer Norman Lear. Harley Morenstein joins the conversation, adding his distinct perspective to the discussions.

---

1. Media Interviews and Celebrity Behavior

Discussion on Martin Bashir's Interview Techniques
[02:17 - 05:04]

Adam and Teresa critique Martin Bashir’s approach to celebrity interviews, highlighting his disarming nodding technique that often results in superficial yet tantalizing revelations from guests.

Notable Quote:
"Why does Martin Bashir get away with a lot? Because his face doesn't really move like these guys." — Adam Carolla [02:49]

They specifically reference Bashir’s infamous Michael Jackson interview, dissecting how Bashir’s passive demeanor allows celebrities to project their own narratives without significant pushback.

---

2. Parenting Anxieties and Experiences

Discussion on Modern Parenting Challenges
[09:50 - 17:01]

Teresa Strasser opens up about her fears of not being able to fully attach to her child, a concern that resonates deeply with Adam, who shares his own insecurities about maintaining a strong emotional bond with his son amidst demanding schedules.

Notable Quotes:
"Can I borrow the Maybach?" — Teresa Strasser [08:56]
"I want to wrestle with them before they go to bed because I don't want a day to go by without a little physical contact." — Adam Carolla [15:09]

The conversation evolves into a heartfelt exchange about the importance of parental presence versus financial provision, with both co-hosts lamenting the societal trend of fathers being more absentee yet financially supportive.

---

3. Reflections on Ending Terrestrial Radio

Farewell to the Terrestrial Show
[33:26 - 47:26]

The episode incorporates a nostalgic look back at the final days of their terrestrial radio show, complete with a comedic yet poignant toast led by former program director Jack Silver. Listeners reflect on the emotional bond formed with the audience and the abrupt, somewhat ill-timed farewell broadcast.

Notable Quote:
"This is the funeral of sorts. We're burying the old show and moving on." — Adam Carolla [42:06]

Audience member Tim calls in to express his confusion over Jack Silver's final comedic bit, which failed to capture the gravitas of the show's conclusion, leading to humorous yet reflective commentary from Adam and Teresa.

---

4. Audience Interaction and Final Toast

Engaging with Listeners’ Call-ins
[45:07 - 55:21]

Listeners share personal stories and feedback, prompting Adam and Teresa to engage in candid discussions about love, loss, and the challenges of parenthood. Teresa recounts a personal incident involving her child’s teething pain, leading to a humorous yet insightful exchange about coping mechanisms.

Notable Quote:
"If someone hits your kid, how would that affect you?" — Adam Carolla [23:13]
"Nobody should have to bury a parent, and no pet owner should have to bury a pet." — Teresa Strasser [56:31]

The segment underscores the emotional depth of the hosts, juxtaposed with their signature humor, providing a balanced view of life's hardships and the importance of resilience.

---

5. Food Segment: Andrew's Picky Eating Habits

Exploring Picky Eating in Children
[65:25 - 121:17]

In a lighthearted yet revealing segment, Adam, Teresa, Giovanni, and Brian Bishop delve into the peculiar eating habits of Brian’s son, Andrew. The hosts present a series of food challenges, testing whether Andrew will accept various items such as celery, potato chips, tortilla chips, and more.

Notable Quotes:
"Do you prefer it or like you won't touch it?" — Adam Carolla [83:02]
"Would you eat pizza without cheese?" — Giovanni [84:02]

The segment not only entertains but also highlights the frustrations and humorous moments parents encounter with selective eaters. Andrew's steadfast refusals and unique preferences provide ample fodder for comedic exchanges, while subtly addressing broader themes of childhood development and parental expectations.

---

6. Reflections on Sitcoms and Norman Lear's Legacy

Analyzing Classic Sitcoms and Modern Adaptations
[121:17 - 128:34]

Adam Carolla engages in a deep dive into the world of sitcoms, reflecting on the work of Norman Lear and the enduring impact of shows like "All in the Family," "The Jeffersons," and "Sanford and Son." He contrasts the complex, often unlikable characters of classic sitcoms with today's demand for universally likable TV personalities.

Notable Quote:
"Archie Bunker was not likable, but he was funny as shit." — Adam Carolla [123:11]

Teresa Strasser echoes Adam's sentiments, discussing how modern showrunners struggle to replicate the raw, authentic humor of Lear's creations without the nuanced character complexities. They lament the loss of edge in contemporary sitcoms, attributing it to the industry's shift towards positivity and acceptance.

Guest Insights from Norman Lear:
[121:17 - 128:34]
Norman Lear shares his experiences in producing groundbreaking television that challenged societal norms. He emphasizes the importance of authenticity in character development and storytelling, arguing that true comedy often stems from flaws and real-life struggles rather than sanitized narratives.

---

7. Harley Morenstein's Contributions

Interjection and Perspective
[Various Timestamps]

Harley Morenstein intermittently joins the conversation, offering his unique take on topics such as food trends and media consumption. His interactions, though brief, add a dynamic layer to the episode, bridging comedic relief with thoughtful commentary.

Notable Quote:
"Such a lot of people still reaching for something. Those people approach the impossible and embrace it." — Harley Morenstein [36:45]

Harley's presence underscores the show's commitment to diverse perspectives, enriching the dialogue with his background in media and entertainment.

---

Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show skillfully weaves humor with heartfelt discussions, tackling subjects from the intricacies of parenthood and media dynamics to nostalgic reflections on classic television. With guests like Norman Lear and Harley Morenstein, the show not only entertains but also provides insightful commentary on the evolving landscape of comedy and family life. Notable quotes and candid conversations ensure that both long-time listeners and newcomers find value and relatability in the discourse.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "Why does Martin Bashir get away with a lot? Because his face doesn't really move like these guys." — Adam Carolla [02:49]
• "Can I borrow the Maybach?" — Teresa Strasser [08:56]
• "If someone hits your kid, how would that affect you?" — Adam Carolla [23:13]
• "Nobody should have to bury a parent, and no pet owner should have to bury a pet." — Teresa Strasser [56:31]
• "Archie Bunker was not likable, but he was funny as shit." — Adam Carolla [123:11]
• "Such a lot of people still reaching for something. Those people approach the impossible and embrace it." — Harley Morenstein [36:45]

---

This summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting the main discussions, guest contributions, and memorable moments, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't tuned in.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

All right, five Hour Energy. Yeah, I'll tell you, I use this stuff when I travel. I need it because it's like late night shows, early morning wake up calls, heading to the airport. You can go to Five Hour Energy and check out Five Hour Energy's website to find over 15 flavors to choose from. With flavors like watermelon, Tropical burst, blue raspberry, peach, mango and more, there's a flavor for just about everyone. But it's really the results you're looking for is the energy. Check out regular strength strawberry, lemonade, extra strength fan fuel and more. You even have the option to build your own 12 pack or 24 pack. You choose the flavors and they'll deliver it right to your door. But if you're out and about, you can always pick up 5 Hour Energy and you do it in a shot at your local grocery or convenience store. You know, it's everywhere you get that energy you need. They are five hour energy. You don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries, you wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns. McDonald's breakfast comes first.

[Giovanni]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play with best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Corolla show. We have a companion podcast titled Coral Classics available through Podcast One Premium as well as Adam Carolla's substack for the ad free archives, Adamcarolla.substack.com, you get the ad free archives for this show, the Adam Carolla show, the Adam Dr. Drew show, and the exclusive home of Adam's brand new podcast. Feed it out. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsamcola.com let's get to the clips coming first we have Adam Carolla Show 345, Natasha Leggero, Theresa Strasser, Brian Bishop. This one's from 2010. Hope you guys enjoy.

[Adam Carolla]

Time. For Teresa Strasser and the news from the International News center next to Donnie's mini bikes, this is the news with Theresa Strasser.

[Theresa Strasser]

Every time a celebrity gets interviewed by Martin Bashir doesn't go so well.

[Adam Carolla]

What happened this time?

[Theresa Strasser]

Well, you know, he was the guy that interviewed Michael Jackson and started crying about the little boys and the overnight guests.

[Adam Carolla]

You know why he gets away with a lot of stuff?

[Theresa Strasser]

Why?

[Adam Carolla]

Because his face doesn't really move like these guys. Now here's what I'm saying, not in a botoxy kind of way, poker face, but if you ever see These guys ever see, like, good cops who interrogate teenagers who kill their girlfriends? They're like, look, we've all gotten a little pissed off at the old lady at one time or another. Had a couple of beers and snapped. I know where you're coming from. Sure.

[Theresa Strasser]

Let me get you an orange soda.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they don't do that thing where the guy goes, she was looking weird at me, so I backhanded her. What? You did what? Oh, dear Lord. No, no, no. They just go. So Martin Brashear just sits there and he's like, so, Michael, oftentimes you sleep with young boys in your bed with you?

[Giovanni]

No, I. Maybe once or twice.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right. And. And those boys. But he'd never go, what? What the fuck? Where were their parents? Like, see, just before you know it, he did this sort of, like, it's natural for a man to want to share his bed with others.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And you just kind of get in this thing where you do a lot of head nodding a lot. And they just kind of go like, oh, okay, this guy's cool. It's cool.

[Theresa Strasser]

You're basically saying that his interview technique is much like the wheezes technique for getting women. You just nod and listen diabolically, approvingly.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

As if everything they're saying is great.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep.

[Theresa Strasser]

And then you get either a really juicy interview or a boner.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, think about it. Like, when you're doing an interview and you know, if you have. If you have Jimmy Kimmel interviewing you, you're not going to get through the. Yeah. I had these kids from the Make a Wish foundation come and sleep over on my bed. You're not going to get a lot of head nodding and chin scratch.

[Theresa Strasser]

Not in the next room in your bed.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. That. You're gonna get that. And now you're gonna shut down. Right. You're gonna go like, whoa. It only happened one time. Hold on.

[Theresa Strasser]

You gave them wine. You called it Jesus juice.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Instead of, oh, tell me more about the Jesus juice. Of course.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yes, yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It makes everything soothing and natural. Yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

But you'd think after the Michael Jackson thing, people would get wise to it.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Theresa Strasser]

He had a little talk with Diddy for Nightline.

[Adam Carolla]

I was just thinking about him the other day.

[Theresa Strasser]

Did he. Yeah, because he was in get him to the Greek.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I was just thinking what a wild narcissist he is and how it served. How well it served him. Like how a guy who has so much self momentum that you just almost have to just stand back and get out of the way, like, he puts his name on vodka. He produces. He can't sing yet. He's had a lot of top 10 songs. You know what I mean? He's just a crazed narcissist. Like, whenever he shows up on the set or if they're filming him, he's always wearing Sean John clothing. Like, I mean, could you imagine wearing your own windbreaker around? Essentially, yeah. Imagine wearing a bomber jacket that said Bald Brian on the back of it, and you're Bald Brian. It's fucked up.

[Theresa Strasser]

I interviewed him. He was super charming.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I. I think he's one of these guys that brings nothing to the party yet. Leaves with all the pussy and all the loot.

[Theresa Strasser]

Well, speaking of pussy, he's left with. He's got a few kids. When he was talking to Martin Bashir, he said that he enjoyed being a dad, but. But he admitted that it was the area that he did not consider himself most successful. Citing. Yeah, citing that his kids deserved more of his personal time. Now, that started a series of questions about Diddy's parental discretion that made the hip hop figure visibly annoyed at times. Bashir suggested that Diddy was setting a bad example as a role model by having six kids by multiple women.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Theresa Strasser]

Diddy said, all my kids are taken care of.

[Adam Carolla]

Just keeping it real.

[Theresa Strasser]

They all go to the best schools. Bashir quipped, but you don't live with them. Then Nightline aired footage of that VH1 show. My super sweet 16. I guess Diddy's son Justin was on. And in that episode, Diddy gives Justin his 16 year old A. I hope.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm pronouncing this Maybach.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yes, Worth.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw it more than.

[Theresa Strasser]

More than 360 grand worth. Almost 400 grand.

[Adam Carolla]

About the fact that I saw that.

[Theresa Strasser]

Fucking episode, my head just exploded. What were you doing watching my super sweet 16? It's officially the gayest thing you've ever done.

[Adam Carolla]

That's rich.

[Giovanni]

You gotta be Martin bashira. Earlier, watching 316.

[Adam Carolla]

Was that.

[Theresa Strasser]

Oh, sorry. Was that right after you saw Sex and the City too?

[Adam Carolla]

During. I was watching on my phone and.

[Theresa Strasser]

Then an egg dropped.

[Adam Carolla]

I was plowing a guy in the ass while I was watching Super Sweet sixteen on my phone. While at the theater watching Sex and City two.

[Theresa Strasser]

Well, that's a lot to do.

[Adam Carolla]

At one time I was calling him a multitasker. Yeah, he bought his one. I mean, it's this thing. Well, so Brashear continued to.

[Theresa Strasser]

He continued to press him and say, you know, do you think that was a good, sensible lesson? And Diddy said, I feel the way I raise my children. You know, I don't have to explain to you or anybody else, because nobody knows the way I raise my children.

[Adam Carolla]

Apparently we do. We have MTV.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

Anyone who has VH1, and God knows you do.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

Utivo the. My super sweet 16. Are you.

[Adam Carolla]

Isn't that MTV1?

[Theresa Strasser]

So you just.

[Adam Carolla]

It was on, like, MTV2 or something and then went over to. Now we got to figure that out.

[Theresa Strasser]

So you just. You just happen to be watching it or. It's one of your programs.

[Adam Carolla]

I've seen it. Look, anything to get angry at my parents. And when I see these and a holes going, listen, I want to be lowered down via cable into a giant tank filled with dolphins. And then I want Aquaman to lift me out with sparklers coming out of my ass. And I just picture me going, hey, dad, can I get a ride to Van Nuys? Nope. Oh, great. All righty.

[Theresa Strasser]

Can I borrow the Maybach?

[Adam Carolla]

Nope.

[Theresa Strasser]

Can I have the keys to the May box?

[Adam Carolla]

So I can't help it, but yes. Obviously, I've spoken in the past about judging, and we're not, like, doing any judging. Like, you know, look, you. Financially providing for your kid is a lot better than I'm sure your dad did for you in this community. But just because it's better doesn't mean it's right or good. Having multiple kids through multiple moms and you not physically being there is not a great way to raise any of the kids. And look, sorry to sound like Chuck Heston here, but this is, you know, here's the best. Man, woman, kids, stability under one roof.

[Theresa Strasser]

I'm almost with you, but I don't mind two men or two women in a stable household raising a child they love.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't mind it either, but it's beneath the man woman because it's more complicated.

[Theresa Strasser]

For the kid now. That'll be different in 25 years.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's just men provide something that women don't provide, and women provide a lot that men don't provide. And that's kind of in nature. Knew what she was doing when she figured out the penis and the cunt.

[Theresa Strasser]

Such a beautiful story. So, yeah, you had to use a C word. I mean, I'm not against it, but right there.

[Adam Carolla]

No, look, I.

[Theresa Strasser]

Believe me, I would call her vagina.

[Adam Carolla]

Or I would have rather had two gay dads or two lesbian moms than.

[Theresa Strasser]

The parents we had.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I, I. Absolutely. All things being equal, male, female, beside what society says and what the schoolmates say, just There are many things. My wife provides it, I cannot, and vice versa. Although the list is a little bit shorter with me, but anyway. Yeah, so Diddy got a little pissy when he started pushing.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah. He went on to say that it's what I wanted to do. I can do whatever I want to do with my children, and you can't question me about it. Nobody can question me about what I do with my children. Why not?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Well, you can't question him about it. I think he just did.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah, well, he's saying he doesn't want to answer questions about it, and I guess he could afford it, but it's weird how withholding things from kids is seen as abusive, and child protective services will come in if you don't feed them or if you don't send them to school. But if you abuse a kid by spoiling them to this extent, it's off limits to complain about it. I mean, giving a kid a car worth $400,000, a kid that you don't live with.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I mean, the kid has a driver, too. It's. It's. It's. It's tough. It's tough to tell if it actually gave him the car or. I thought when I was watching it, studying it. Nay, studying my super sweet 16, I couldn't tell if he gave it to him or it was just kind of a stunt or he got it for him for a month or whatever it is. Either way, Diddy's kids will be fine. The real bigger picture is just black community having kids out of wedlock, moving on with the Johnny Appleseed mentality and our society not really questioning it, and somehow the pinnacle of being a black dad. In the 80s, it was Bill Cosby. Now you're just Chad Ochocinko, which is. Well, you have. You have a bunch of kids, but don't worry, you pay for them. Oh, I guess everything's awesome then. No, it's not. You're supposed to be there.

[Theresa Strasser]

Do you think it's a status symbol that the kid has this expensive car? In other words, that it reflects on Diddy? Well, in his mind, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

I think Diddy feels like I have a shitload of money. And the reason I have a shitload of money is because I'm abroad working all the time, and I can assuage some of my guilt by getting the kid of Maybach.

[Theresa Strasser]

True.

[Adam Carolla]

And what's Chad Ochocinko's? Because I heard him. I was watching Dancing with the Stars, and, like, Michael Irvin was like, he is the best dad on the planet. And I was like, he is. And then I found out he had like a couple kids from a couple moms and it was like one of these. Again, glad you're financially supporting your offspring. But that still doesn't make it the number one pops in the world. Sorry.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah, I mean, duh. Kids need more time than stuff. Everybody knows.

[Adam Carolla]

I am, I am appalled that people, men, women, black, white, whatever, aren't more serious about their kids. Like, can. I mean, I've talked to people, like every guy who drives a town car or anybody who picks you up at the airport, you know, they'll tell you this story where it's like, yeah, I got a 9 year old and 6 year old love him to death. And yeah, where they are, they're in Atlanta with their mom and you're in Boca Raton, you know, and it's like, well, I'm doing. I got a charter fishing thing I also do out here on the weekends. And then they start talking about, I see them. Well, they'll come down, you know, on spring break, Spring break. And I'll always send them something stuffed in, you know, stuffed animal in the mouth. It's like, what I really, this notion of I'm a great pops. I just see my kid, you know, three times a year. It seems insane. I mean, forget about the kid. What about you? Like, I knew today I was gone all day and then I knew I had a long night ahead of me. And Olga had the kids down at the mall running them in a circle, tiring them out. And I knew I had to cut out before the kids got home. And I called Olga and I said, hey, bring the kids back. I want to get a little wrestle time with them before they go to bed because I'm not going to be there to kiss them good night tonight. They're going to be in bed long before I get home tonight. And I wanted to wrestle with them. I wanted, I didn't want a day to go by where I didn't have a little physical contact, you know, not sexual this time, right?

[Theresa Strasser]

Not this time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Thank you. Mark Paul Carr.

[Theresa Strasser]

Mark John. Mark Carr.

[Adam Carolla]

John Mark Carr. Fucking know that guy. So I wanted to, like, have a day. I didn't want a day where the. They saw the nanny all day and they never saw.

[Theresa Strasser]

And it wasn't out of duty. It was because you genuinely wanted to have your wrestle time with them. Because it feels good to be a parent.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I was not out of duty. I took a shit later that day.

[Theresa Strasser]

And then you had to wipe. Natalia.

[Adam Carolla]

I wanted. Yeah, it was. It wasn't anything of like, ah, Christ, I gotta go to work, but I really should see the kids or the old ladies gonna get pissed off. No, I love them. Like, I wanted to see him. I wanted to handle them. I wanted to see them laugh and I want to tickle them and. But. And maybe it is narcissistic. Like, I don't want them to forget about me. I want them to. I don't want a day to go by over there. Go. We didn't have some contact with daddy. We didn't laugh it up with Daddy. I'm not the world's greatest daddy, but it's kind of for me. So the notion of not seeing them for months on end or years on end seems so counterintuitive. As a human being.

[Theresa Strasser]

I wouldn't have understood that at all before I had a kid. I just would have thought, well, he's gotta go, you know, work on the boat three months a year to pay for the family, whatever. But now, like when I. When I put the baby down at night, you know, he. I have him on my lap and he falls asleep and there's times I can't even wrench myself out of the chair to put him in his crib.

[Adam Carolla]

Because it's like, crap, Vicodin kicked in.

[Theresa Strasser]

No, he's like Vicodin. Like the smell of his little head, his soft hand. He holds my hand with his tiny little hand.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. I assume, judging by our parents, we'll get over it.

[Theresa Strasser]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

If the. If the acorn didn't fall too far from the tree, I'm assuming that at some point I'll just wake up and go, who? I'm fully expecting my wife to come in one morning. Go, Sonny's got the measles.

[Brian Bishop]

Who?

[Theresa Strasser]

No, I mean, I'm saying a step further.

[Adam Carolla]

Who are you? Why are you in my bathrobe?

[Theresa Strasser]

You're hot.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, get over here, you.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah, I know. In the same. You know, I'll wake up and then by 10 sometimes I'll think, when do you go to nursery school so I can have guilt free time off from you?

[Adam Carolla]

But you couldn't imagine going months without seeing your kids.

[Theresa Strasser]

Here's what I spend a lot of time imagining, and this is kind of dark, if you don't mind, go ahead, but. So when I was pregnant and thinking about having kids, I was terrified that I wouldn't attach to the child because my mom was one of very few people that just doesn't attach to the it's rare, but it happens. And I thought, what if I have this baby and I just don't love him the way people love their babies.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Theresa Strasser]

But even like six months pregnant, I was already attached to the baby, but I was still kind of scared.

[Adam Carolla]

And you, by the way, replace attach with gay and I went through the exact same thing with my son. That's horrifying.

[Theresa Strasser]

You were worried about. Horrible, Terrified.

[Adam Carolla]

Petrified.

[Theresa Strasser]

But I mean, are you out of the woods?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not out of the bottom woods. Yet another hill. Okay.

[Theresa Strasser]

But now this. Now I have a problem that I never ever suspected I would what I call the backwoods backwoods now I because I. I did. I have the feeling everyone described that you'll. You'll love your child in a way you don't love anything else. But that makes me feel as though like I'm playing poker at a table and the stakes are too high. Like I just want to be at.

[Adam Carolla]

The real Businesses rely on Spectrum business for the fastest, most reliable Internet starting at $40 a month when bundled and backed by the Spectrum commitment. Get Internet speeds to fit your business needs. Starting at 500Mbps bundle with TV, phone and mobile for more savings. Level up your speed for a three year price guarantee. Find a bundle that is made for your [e-mail] business restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas.

[Harley Morenstein]

So much of what we want to do can seem impossible. But the highest achievers among us are the people still reaching for something. The ones who aren't satisfied to stay where they are and want to keep climbing higher. It's those people who approach the impossible and embrace it. There's a vehicle for people like that. It's called the Defender. The Defender is an icon reimagined through thoroughly modern design. It's got a tough, rigid body design and durable, lightweight monocoque architecture for extra strength with precise detailing and compelling proportions. The exterior of the Defender is designed with integrity. This is a vehicle capable of great things, engineered to meet challenges head on with an exterior that's been tested to the extreme experience the Defender's legendary capability off road and on. And there's a family of vehicles for Defender meet the Defender 90, Defender 110 and the 8 seat Defender 130. So are you ready to embrace the impossible? Explore the defender@land roverusa.com.

[Adam Carolla]

Real businesses rely on Spectrum business for the fastest, most reliable Internet starting at $40 a month when bundled and and backed by the Spectrum commitment. Get Internet speeds to fit your business needs starting at 500Mbps bundle with TV, phone and mobile for more savings. Level up your speed for a three year price guarantee. Find a bundle that is made for your [e-mail] business restrictions apply. Service is not available in all areas.

[Harley Morenstein]

What's the difference between DIY and doing it yourself? It's the difference between a part time passion and a full time business. WIX gives you the power to turn your passion into a moneymaker with a website that fits your unique vision and the business tools you need to succeed. Let your ideas flow with AI that guides you but keeps you in the driver's seat. Manage your business from one dashboard and keep it growing with built in marketing features. It's time to turn your daydream into your dream job. Do it yourself. Go to wix. Calm.

[Theresa Strasser]

Go slots. And now I'm all of a sudden with the high rollers and the pot keeps getting bigger and I'm not committed and I'm like, I got to get the fuck out of here because I can't afford this. Like I, I think a lot about something bad happening to the baby and I think, well, I don't really know how I would continue. Like I'm playing at this table now and by the way, for the rest of my life I'm going to have this feeling towards this person and it would be devastating beyond comprehension. Like, how did I get into this? I was worried I wasn't going to be attached to him. Now I'm playing with money I don't have.

[Adam Carolla]

You're essentially saying there's a Faberge egg with your heart inside of it and for the rest of your life you're going to have to watch a couple people play catch with it back and forth and back and forth. And if it ever drops and shatters into a million pieces, so will go your heart.

[Theresa Strasser]

Does this go away? I mean, I keep wondering.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. It's powerful.

[Theresa Strasser]

It was, it was beautiful. I keep, I keep wondering. I talked to Lynette about it and she said she, she has, she has worries about, about the kids.

[Adam Carolla]

Like you know, disappearing Vegas for three days, whooping.

[Theresa Strasser]

She has some worries because she trusts you. The hell was she doing in Vegas for three days?

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking partying. I don't know. What do you do in Vegas?

[Theresa Strasser]

Well, listen, it makes you a better parent if you have fun on your own and then come back and you're rejuvenated. At least that's what she probably told you.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay?

[Theresa Strasser]

I'm saying she has worries too, but I don't know if this is normal, I probably have it worse than most people, but I do spend an inordinate amount of time, like really, really anxious and I guess I. With everyone I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me. Let me suggest this in a. In a semi insulting way. Although Theresa takes my semi insulting prognosis and diagnosis of her situation quite well. Might I suggest that this may be narcissistic in that even though it's all about the kid, it's really kind of all about you might.

[Theresa Strasser]

Would I be able to handle the.

[Adam Carolla]

Would you be able to handle it if the kid got hit on his bicycle? Yeah. Or whatever would happen to the kid, but it'd be more like how that would affect you.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah, I'm already pretty fragile. I mean, I'm. I'm, you know, sturdy enough to be a good mom. I think.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I have these thoughts as well. If you think, why expose your soft underbelly to society in the form of a child, that if something horrible happened to this child, then you would be devastated. At a certain point you have to just sort of sit back and rip a bongload and go, look, everyone fucking has kids and shit happens.

[Theresa Strasser]

And most of the time it's fine.

[Adam Carolla]

And most of the time it's fine. And when it. And when it's not, the people still go on.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah. And I remembered when I first met my husband and we were like, you know, falling in love. I spent a lot of time thinking, oh my God, what if he gets in a car accident? I spent a lot of time thinking about his demise. So that's what I do when I love somebody. I just concern myself with the, what.

[Adam Carolla]

If he fell into a vat of acid like a joker?

[Theresa Strasser]

Like what other things could happen.

[Adam Carolla]

But.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah, so that part is a little scary. But you're right, I think you. And by the way, I did have to have a bong load the other day because I think I mentioned this earlier. I had a smoked pot, because I had. It was not a big deal at all, but I'm a rookie mom and my kid was getting a tooth. Tooth was breaking through and I didn't know what was happening. So in the middle of the night, he was crying, inconsolably crying, which had never happened. 45 minutes straight, just crying. And I thought, oh my God, something's poking him. I take off all his clothes and I am freaking out. And then I think, well, obviously he has meningitis or something horrible. We're going to end up at the emergency room at Children's Hospital and something horrible is going to happen. And then I immediately had the realization that, wow. I'm not sure how I will continue. I would not like to.

[Adam Carolla]

I would, I would.

[Theresa Strasser]

And then I said. After he went down, I looked at my husband three, three in the morning, and said, dude, do you have any pot? Because I. I did.

[Harley Morenstein]

I don't.

[Theresa Strasser]

It wasn't a bong, but I want to say rip a bong load, cuz it sounds cool. That's what you say.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Theresa Strasser]

But what you call when you smoke a pipe, like, just take a hit.

[Adam Carolla]

It's called getting high. Yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

I had to take a rip. Thank you. Just one rip, like, to get right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Did it get your head right?

[Theresa Strasser]

I couldn't get right.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah, it worked good. But I'm thinking like in a couple years or maybe in a few months, you just get used to the idea that you have the Faberge egg and you just move on.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, you do.

[Theresa Strasser]

God, I'm sorry for that long and.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Theresa Strasser]

Can you cut that out for the show listeners? I'm very, very sorry. Khloe Kardashian is an idiot. In a radio interview, she. She said the rumors circulating about her being pregnant caused her to take a home pregnancy test. Quote, I'm so nuts that I went out and got a pregnancy test. I was like, what if they know something that I don't? That's how confused I got. I was like, I don't want to lie. So let me figure this out.

[Adam Carolla]

She.

[Theresa Strasser]

She was not pregnant.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the. I think the Kardashians sort of. I think it's everything that's wrong with this country sort of all just put inside of one reality show somehow. Like, first off, you got Robert Kardashian who's just sitting there trying to get OJ to be a free man. And then the crazed look on his face. There's nothing better than Kardashian's look when he hears the Ito go free. He's a free man. Or when he hears the chick who read the jury, you know, how say you part. So you got the dad and then.

[Theresa Strasser]

Freed a double murderer.

[Adam Carolla]

Then freed or helped at least. And then he died semi recently. And then you have this whole weird Bruce Jenner part of it, which went from the world's greatest athlete to the world's greatest stepmom. Yes, I knew what I was saying. And then you have the kids that. I mean, it's pretty much about selling their sexuality. The mom is right there every step of the way. Like, she's like saying, well, Odom doesn't want to buy me. Lamar Odom doesn't want to buy. He doesn't want to spend $8 million for a house. He only wants to spend $5 million for a house. And mom is telling his daughter, like, yeah, get in the bathtub, put some rose petals in there. You'll get it out of him tonight. Like, basically, you suck a big enough black dick, and you will get the house you want. And thank you. And it's just kind of the whole thing is, like, intrusive and weird and sexual and intimate. And the whole reason we know Kim Kardashian is because she did the bootleg porn movie that I guess now sort of seems like she was okay with that coming up.

[Theresa Strasser]

Well, how do you explain the whole Kardashian phenomenon to either an alien or someone from the future?

[Giovanni]

Bruce Jenner from 1972.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah. How do you go, dude, You're a great athlete. Here's what's gonna happen.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Let me share the future. Hey, Wheaties boy. Let me bring you down to earth here. Yeah, yeah.

[Giovanni]

I'm gonna own Wheaties in 10 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, well, listen, just. Everyone's just on display now, and who gives a. And whatever. I. I assume most all of it is just cooked up anyway, but I always just sort of question the parents. I really do. This kind of thing. Like, what the fuck, Bruce? He's just gotta. He's just gotta want to get out of this. All right, you got another one?

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah. This is a story about some swingers. Seems like it's gonna be hot. They have had 300 wild sex parties during the course of their marriage, and they're still going strong. They're in their 70s. Yeah. They've been dubbed Britons, Britain's oldest swingers. They say their appetite for no string sex has only increased with age, and they attend at least one swingers event per month.

[Adam Carolla]

No strings to me means no one on their period.

[Theresa Strasser]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You want to pop any champagne corks, you know, when you're swinging? Not to mention the carpet, the beating the carpet takes, you know, even. Even in a light day.

[Theresa Strasser]

And by the way, no swinger has hardwood floors.

[Adam Carolla]

No, that's not a pergo. Not a fucking square foot of pergo between them now. It's all bad. 70.

[Theresa Strasser]

Shag Ian and Gene Smith have four thoroughly embarrassed children and eight grandchildren.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeesh.

[Theresa Strasser]

Guess that's the key in a bowl to a healthy marriage.

[Giovanni]

Doesn't it make you happy, though, when people like this find each other early in life and they can spend 40 something happy years together as opposed to, you know, freaking out their partner somewhere down the road and getting divorced.

[Brian Bishop]

They're happy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, you can't judge. I'm sure they're both abused terribly. How do you, how do you get that audience going? I mean, like, how do you get people coming out to your pad to swing? Once you hit your 70s, it's a.

[Theresa Strasser]

That's a tough putt.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Balls dragging on the ground while you're answering the door.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

It's rough.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Hold on, let me crack some insure. I drink an insurer and stole a insuretini. Yeah, you want insuretiti?

[Theresa Strasser]

You got some sangria.

[Adam Carolla]

It's, it's, it's, it's, it's vanilla ensure, a little bit of vermouth and one shot of kettle. One.

[Theresa Strasser]

It sounds delicious.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And a multivitamin floater.

[Theresa Strasser]

But you know, how about something for fiber? Because the old stirs need fiber.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a Mucilex. It's a teaspoon of Mucilex. It's one crushed Viagra and some strained peas.

[Theresa Strasser]

This is actually not a bad idea, you know, because why should old people not have sex? And this cocktail gives them all the things they'll need. Energy, boner, Right. Fiber, sure.

[Giovanni]

Cocktail.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

Probably Viagra has raise the average age of the swinger.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, no, it used to, used to be. Well, it used to BE like the NFL, you know, once you hit your mid-30s, you had to bow out, you leave the game or you could get hurt.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, plus it's sad, you know, seeing a guy laboring out there, balls dragging. Yeah. Hey, you know, it's sad. He's over his prime. Yeah.

[Giovanni]

You remember he once was.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, sure. He's going to the swingers hall of Fame. It's just sad to see him go out this way and another uniform. Yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

This might be a surprise to you, but I'm not sure that even youthful swingers are that attractive.

[Adam Carolla]

Usually not. No.

[Theresa Strasser]

Just a guess.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

But based on the documentaries I've seen.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

And Bruno movie, I had a real.

[Adam Carolla]

Sex waiting for me in the TiVo queue the other day. It was a rerun and I don't know what it was, but it was like just more, you know, fat chicks who are into bondage from Germany and horrible looking swingers and like. Yeah. Does a gay guy produce that show? Like, who decided it can? It's called Real Sex. It's an hour worth of naked people on an unbridled. By the way, and you cannot beat off to it in the woods.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah, I honestly think a hotter show is Hookers on the Point.

[Adam Carolla]

Much easier to beat off to that World War II in color. I can beat off too. Faster than. Than real sex. I. I have to find out. There's got to be a gay guy behind this.

[Theresa Strasser]

There must be, because you think it's called real sex. This is gonna be pornish.

[Adam Carolla]

And could one story be about a, you know, 19 year old runaway loves blowing guys? I mean, they all have to just be about fucking weird fat fetish porn.

[Theresa Strasser]

How about a six part series on how one young woman got into porn? You follow her to set up her first movie and then you go home with her and you see what.

[Adam Carolla]

Just feed off. Yes.

[Theresa Strasser]

See, it's easy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All right, T, you want to take some phone calls?

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah, that was the name.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's bring it home. Teresa Strasser and the news. Fuck you, cnn. Somebody's on the phone, has a very tantalizing call. Something that's haunted me for many a year. Tim. Hey, Adam. What's going on? Tim, I was just calling because today I was thinking about your guys's last show at terrestrial radio, and my favorite part of the entire day was that awesome comedy bit Jack Silver put together. Sorry, put together. You know, where he was drinking all those shots. I was hoping if you guys could break it down for me and exactly tell me where the comedy was in that. Well, it's a. Now Jack Silver was our program director over at Caela Sex for the three plus years we were on the station. And I would say this about Jack. I like Jack personally.

[Giovanni]

What?

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah, he was a nice enough guy.

[Adam Carolla]

He was a nice enough guy, but his comedic sensibility did not bode with mine or jibe with mine or anybody I knew, by the way, who had a sense of humor. So Jack was constantly. Jack had his idea of what a morning radio should sound like, and it was forged in the crucible of Rick D's circa 1988. And I just thought, I didn't want to do that kind of show. And to be fair to Jack, he did what I say all executives do, which is if you took a beaver and you put him on the roof of the Sears Tower, they would start looking for wood so they could build a dam. And if you said to them, hey, you're 133 stories off the ground, what do you think? What are you building this dam for? He'd go, I'm looking for wood. Get out of the way.

[Theresa Strasser]

I'm a beaver.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm a beaver, that's what I do. And program directors and television executives, they're all just beavers. Some are better at it a dam building than others. But if you're not in a river, you sure as fuck don't need a dam. And that's they do what they do like Jack Silver did what he does.

[Theresa Strasser]

And to put it less creatively, when you have a hammer, all you see is a nail. And he had a hammer. And that hammer was boobies, right?

[Harley Morenstein]

And talk about the highest achievers among us are the people still striving, still reaching for something. The people who aren't satisfied to stay where they are and want to keep climbing higher. And it's those people who approach the impossible and embrace it. There's a vehicle for people like that. It's called the Defender. The Defender is an icon reimagined for a new generation of explorers through thoroughly modern design. Its interior is modern and functional with rich material, finishes and quality craftsmanship. When you're in a Defender, you can tell the interior is built for purpose. Luxury appointments throughout and practical storage options ensure you adventure in comfort. This is a vehicle capable of great things and engineered to meet challenges head on wherever you're headed. Experience the Defender's legendary capability both off road and on and there's a family of vehicles for Defender. Meet the Defender 90, Defender 110 and the 8 seat Defender 130. Are you ready to embrace the impossible? Explore the defender@land roverusa.com Real businesses rely on Spectrum business.

[Adam Carolla]

Get the fastest, most reliable Internet starting at $40 a month when bundled and backed by the Spectrum commitment. Find a plan that's made for your [e-mail] business restrictions apply.

[Harley Morenstein]

Services not available in all areas.

[Adam Carolla]

Running a business is hard work. Building your website shouldn't be. With wix you can express your ideas, give direction, then leave the heavy lifting to AI. From site creation to branded content and images. Have fun with the details, customize what you want the way you want and manage your whole business from a centralized dashboard with expert AI tools. Build, scale and enjoy the incredible results. You can do it all yourself on.

[Theresa Strasser]

Wigs, drinking and take a lot of phone calls and do the wing bowl, right?

[Adam Carolla]

As I've said many, many, many times, radio stations still give the timeout every eight minutes when there's Everyone has a cell phone, everyone has a radio. I mean, think about this. I know I've broken this game film down, but there was a time when the time was a commodity. They'd put it on bank signs and you'd be driving down the boulevard and you'd go, hey, what time is it? Like, you wouldn't know because there wasn't one.

[Theresa Strasser]

You had to pull over and ask somebody.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there wasn't one in your clock radio and there wasn't one. Or there wasn't one in your car radio and there wasn't one in your oven. There wasn't one in your coffee maker. Wasn't one in your microwave. There wasn't one in your cell phone. There wasn't one everywhere. Well, now they're everywhere. And if you notice, back banks no longer put signs in front of their banks to tell you what time it is, because they realize it's a waste of money. Why are people going to look at our sign when they have the time in their car? But radio stations, what do they do? They give the fucking time out. I would say more now than they did in 1951. Why they're beavers who build dams on skyscrapers and give the timeout is the exact same as, I'm looking for wood. Get out of the way.

[Giovanni]

That's what I do.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're fucking heretic if you say, perhaps we don't need to look for wood on the top of the Sears Tower. All right, Jack's bit when Jack came in. So when we did our final show at Kayla Sax, I wanted to have. Here's my thing. You guys, tell me if I'm overstating this. When a sitcom goes off the air, they wrap, try to wrap it up nicely, and there's lots of hugs amongst the cast members. But as a viewer, you don't have that feeling of, wow, what am I going to do with my day now? You know, I mean, it's like, okay, Seinfeld, good run, whatever. Good Frazier, good run. And maybe you feel there's a void, like, hey, man, I laughed at that show. But you don't feel like an emotional void. You feel a sort of an entertainment void. But morning shows, radio shows, radio personalities, not me. Me and everyone else. There's an attachment. There's a bond that's made, and people feel it. You know, they felt it when I left bloodline. And it's not a moment to sort of. It's a moment to celebrate, but it's also a moment. It's a funeral of sorts. It's a passing. It's. You're moving on. You're burying this old show known as Adam Carolla and Dr. Drone. You're burying this old show known as the Adam Carolla Show. And you're moving on in my case, in Brian's case, Theresa's case, not too.

[Theresa Strasser]

Much to a total dearth of career options.

[Adam Carolla]

Moving on to disability. What you're moving on to, but you're moving on. And I think we all felt that moment with the possibility of Dawson. Who wanted to play a Robin Trower song? Dude, that never happened. What? Played an Alan Parsons song Later Husband. Didn't I play one of my own? You played your own and then you wanted to play an Alan Parson.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I waited for you, man.

[Theresa Strasser]

The point is.

[Adam Carolla]

The point is this.

[Theresa Strasser]

People called with things that were like eulogies that celebrated their attachment to the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And we all sort of spoke, you know, there it was a tear filled sort.

[Theresa Strasser]

I announced I was pregnant.

[Adam Carolla]

You announced you're pregnant? I announced I was. The father was. People called in saying they're gonna miss you. They're gonna miss us in the morning, they're gonna miss the show. And then Jack Silver, as the program director was. And by the way, this was at the end of the show. This is, if memory serves, about 9:40 9:30. I mean, this is at the end of a four hour show. Jack Silver wants to come in as the program director and say a couple of words. At least that's the way I understood it. And I thought it was going to be a. Theresa, I know we had a couple arguments in our office, but I want you to know I really respect you and I think you're going to go on to great things. And you know, Adam, we had a difference of opinion on occasion, but I think you're a funny guy and there's always room for Paul Bryant. God forbid you get a tumor in six months. And I thought, I thought there'd be one of those. A slight bearing of the hatchet with a. You know what? We had a pretty good run here, kids and that kind of thing.

[Theresa Strasser]

That would have been so appropriate because the tone had been set. I announced I was pregnant. And Joel McHale called in. A bunch of people called in saying how much they were gonna miss the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Theresa Strasser]

You know, it was kind of a tearful, emotionally charged.

[Adam Carolla]

But Jack had produced a bit.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

For this.

[Theresa Strasser]

Gone into the studio.

[Adam Carolla]

He'd gone to the studio, produced a bit for this final day on the air. And I believe we have that.

[Theresa Strasser]

We do.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm told. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And as it turned out, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Somehow I think Ball Bryan or Dawson or somebody brought a microphone into my last staff meeting yesterday.

[F]

You got to hear this.

[Adam Carolla]

We now Join FM talk programming genius Jack Silver and his one last chance to celebrate me. State of the station brunch, boys. Quiet, nums. Now you won't all know that this is our last day of FM talk. Oh, God, the room is spinning. Shrick. Man up, Nancy. Times are tough. No room for pansies on this bus. Oh, sorry, boss. Look, today we are here to celebrate 13 glorious years, nay, amazing years of FM talk. So everybody raise a glass.

[Brian Bishop]

I've got my tequila.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's toast to Tom Lyc. Now I've got a shot of Middleton Irish whiskey. And let's raise a toast to Adam Corolla. Shot a Jaegermeister for Frosty Heidi and Frank Smooth.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, I got one.

[Adam Carolla]

How about a shot of 151 for Conway and Whitman Steckler Malibu. I don't know. Down the hatch. Anybody for coming Makazi shot for the Bonaduce. Oh, that's a. That's a good one. How about you, smiley? Let's do a Sambuca shot for the John and Jeff show. No, you might want to slow down a little bit. Put a sock in it, butt face. I have a feeling that I'm gonna do one for Howard Stern. How about a Saki Bob? Here we go. And finally, one for me, Lynn old Jackie Silver, the genie who created this FM talk thingy. Crap about it. Anybody got a fresh bottle? Here we go. Stay tuned for more. No, wait, there isn't anymore. Okay. Thus ends the tale of Jack Silver and the little FM talk station that could. Good night. Jack Silver, programming genius. All yours. Let's have a group hug. Nubby, nubby, nubby. Adam is your people say L'chaim. He. He did that note too, by the way. As you could tell the tonally it.

[Theresa Strasser]

Was tone deaf to the moment.

[Adam Carolla]

Not exactly what we're talking about. But then as he was playing that I. I did feel a sense of closure because I was like, no wonder this guy doesn't have any idea of what I'm trying to do or say.

[Theresa Strasser]

I was confounded. In fact, I relate to caller Tim, because I didn't know what to make of it. I thought was this over my head or something? And I didn't get the joke way under call her.

[Adam Carolla]

Tim, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Yeah. Your guys reaction right when you came back was great.

[G]

I think Ace, you were like, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

And then you guys went to commercial. That was awesome. I laughed my ass off on that because that is a piece of garbage. I mean, that's not funny at any point. Well, the part where it's not funny is the least of my worries, really. I mean, no program director is funny. They all have a horrible sense of humor. That's how they got to be the creative engine behind a radio station. Definitely not funny. But to me, it's more that it was sort of out of touch and inappropriate. And I don't mean. I don't mean to overstate it, but I just mean we were having a real moment, and I think Jack did not want to participate in the gravity of the moment.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah. Or maybe he had recorded this in advance and kind of had to stick to it and didn't sense that the show had gone in a different direction that day, probably. And it was so. You're right. It was towards the end when we. I think we were running out. There were more people. People we want to talk to, and we were running out of time. I can't remember, but there were people on hold. You know, I don't know if it was. Dag. Somebody like that. There were people that had been part of the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Dawson had another Pat Travers song to play. Right.

[Theresa Strasser]

Those are good songs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Number two. No, actually, me and lynch were sitting in the back office when Jack Silver played that. And both of us looked at each other and wanted to rip Silver's head off for bringing us into the bit. Oh. By saying, I think Dawson or Lynch had a microphone in there.

[Theresa Strasser]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

We wanted to distance ourselves from that as quick as possible. No, I. I knew it wasn't you.

[Theresa Strasser]

For the record, you were obviously not involved.

[Adam Carolla]

You never stayed a moment after work. So, like a shot.

[Theresa Strasser]

Dawson worked actually really long.

[Adam Carolla]

I would know. I was out of there. 1012 Y. I waited for. For you, man. All right. Well, thanks, Tim. But it is nice, whether you're breaking up with someone or folding a radio station to realize at the end, oh, this is why we're doing this.

[Theresa Strasser]

Yeah. And I. I can't restate enough. He was really nice in person. It was fun socializing with him at events. And God bless him, he's out of a job, too. Selling. Selling ads. Got a kick somewhere selling ads at K Earth. But that's not like being a gm.

[Adam Carolla]

No, listen, I like. I like Jack a lot. And I'd have a beer with Jack, but comedically, not what I was trying to accomplish. I wish you weren't a liar. The wing bowl was not something I was interested in performing. All right. Hey, thank you, Tim. Thank you. All right. And mahalo to you. But again, that's the beauty of what we're doing right now. And let me just take this moment to tell everyone that, that we've gotten the team back together minus Jack and minus a few other folks that were able to tell us what to do because they paid us. And when someone pays you, they get to tell you what to do. Now, if you're a gardener, they get to tell you the mow the lawn. And if you do talk radio, they get to kind of tell you what to say. And we no longer have that. That's the good part. The bad part is no one's paying us.

[Theresa Strasser]

That is bad.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the downside. The good news is you guys can tell your friends, can spread the show around. We can be the first success in this economy and really in history. They got shit canned from their radio job, got the band back, back together, turned to an alternative, alternative media and had success. We are having success, but it's the beginning and you guys don't have to pay a penny. Yeah, it'd be nice if you checked out our sponsors, went to the websites and called the numbers and participated with that. But you can also just help by telling a friend or two, some of you have said, hey, I would donate if you had a donation button on your website. We don't want that. We don't want charity. We want to be. We're a company and not a charity. But if you feel like you're in the mood to give, how about giving one of your friends a call and saying, check the show out. I bet you deserve it. Yeah.

[Theresa Strasser]

Subscribe on itunes and you know, when you wake up, it'll right there right for you. Or go to AdamCarolla.com and listen and tell your friends. And I, I want to thank our listeners because they've been incredibly responsive when it comes to the advertisers.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely. Absolutely. That's all. That's all we hear over and over again from, you know, all the companies that manufacture butt plugs and plastic vaginas.

[Theresa Strasser]

All right.

[Giovanni]

All right. That's Adam Kurilla Show 345. Coming up next, we have Adam Kurilla Show 2592 featuring Christopher McDonald, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop from 2019.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw a tweet today. I'm scared to call favorite or liked or I saw or any number of ways. I do not like the fact that they used to have a favorite tweet. Now it's a liked tweet and went from a star to a heart. That's just more the pussification of America. Like this notion that we can't, that we don't know nuance. Like, well, you can't have 100 favorites, but so you have to like. And then you have like them as you want. Okay, but then no favorites. Don't we have favorite bands or favorite teams?

[Giovanni]

You rank them.

[Adam Carolla]

Why do we have. We had a star. Just let's hit the stupid star. But now we have to hit a heart. Yeah, okay. I told you guys. I went in and got a latte a few months back and it was like a 50 year old dude behind the counter and I was just standing on the other side of his alone at the end. He made a big heart out of foam and slid it to me and I was like, you want me to blow you? Like, what's going on?

[Giovanni]

He was a big fan. No, a heart, dude. It was an ace. It was a spade.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, come on, buddy.

[Giovanni]

He's a huge fan.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you're wrong. He was Asian. But anyway, those two things, I didn't want to factor that in. But here we go. So I favorited or I liked. I hearted.

[Harley Morenstein]

Did the tweet start with hey, Adam? Hey, Adam. Carolla, check this out.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Okay.

[Theresa Strasser]

I was trying to.

[Adam Carolla]

All I know we figured this out, Gina. Let's let it go. All I know is if you guys. I was listening to Oprah's super soul podcast and it is overwhelming the amount of like 55 and 60 year old men and women who were like, well, Oprah, now I consider her my partner, my soulmate. And my world was torn apart when we divorced. And I've always believed in a higher power and I've always believed and it's like, would you just fucking hawk your book hunt? Like what's going on? When did all the 60 year olds start just opening up and spilling all this crazy of what you believe? My world was turned inside out. My. My world was prolapsed by it's dangling. I have, I have a 19 year old son who I love more than gravity. I love this son. I love this boy as much as a parent, as much as a human, nay, as much as an entity, nay, as much as a biological being, nay, as much as any being could love any other being. That's how much I love Brandon. And Brandon, he can be challenging. But that doesn't stop my love from being anymore. And I said to Brandon, I said, I love you. I love you like a father who loves his son, Brandon. But I also knew that I had to step back and that I couldn't Love Brandon enough for me. And Brandon that Brandon had to learn to love Brandon that I couldn't love. And Oprah. It opened up a gaping hole in my soul that was vaster than the Grand Canyon. I'm sorry, more vasterer than the Grand Canyon. But that soul, it just stayed open. The trap door. There was a door that opened and I fell through it into the deepest, darkest bowels. It's like if you had an outhouse with a. With a shithole under it that was 70 million feet long. I fell through that hole. I fell. Fell over that hole. And I watched my mom die of cancer. I watched her. I was there. I saw a woman that was more important to me than even Brandon was. Did I mention my dog Tuffy? I lost Tuffy nine years ago. And every day I wake up in just as much pain as I did the day after I lost Tuffy.

[Giovanni]

Hey, dad, it's Brandon. Yeah, still talking about.

[Adam Carolla]

I got a hole. There's a hole in my soul. And I thought I would never love again.

[Giovanni]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

But you taught me how to be a parent.

[Giovanni]

I've heard this story.

[Adam Carolla]

You taught me how to love. I didn't think I was capable. And I put every fiber of my being into loving Brandon.

[Giovanni]

That's me.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. Into loving you. And I didn't think it was possible. But I can't love you for. For you. I can only love you as much as I can love you. I can't love you for you.

[Giovanni]

Okay, I'm confused. Do you love me?

[Adam Carolla]

I love you like I love Toughie. Every day. Ten years, nine years. But it's the same. It's. It's happened this moment, this instant. No. No son should have to bury a parent.

[Giovanni]

Agreed.

[Adam Carolla]

No son.

[Giovanni]

I mean, if ever.

[Adam Carolla]

No child should have to bury.

[Giovanni]

I mean, it's. Of course no one. No one wishes out upon.

[Adam Carolla]

No owner should ever have to bury a pet.

[Giovanni]

Okay, well, that happens to 100% of pets got buried by their owner.

[Adam Carolla]

Tuffy passed on March 17th. I remember 2010.

[Giovanni]

I remember.

[Adam Carolla]

It's been over nine years. And that yet, Oprah. The hole that's in my soul. The grieving, the pain, the gaping, the anguish. I loved Tuffy more than an owner could ever love a pet. As a matter of fact, we had a symbionic relationship. It was not owner and pet. It was equals. Except for one paid for everything. Now, Brandon.

[Giovanni]

Yes, Dad.

[Adam Carolla]

I first. Okay. No. No father. No. No son should have to bury his mother. And I had to bury my mother. I watched. I literally stood by her bedside and watched her consumed by cancer. I know.

[Giovanni]

I was there, too. But let's. I think most sons bury their parents at some point.

[Adam Carolla]

No son should ever have.

[Giovanni]

They shouldn't have to, but most do.

[Adam Carolla]

No bird owner should ever have to bury a macaw.

[Giovanni]

How often do birds get buried?

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I'm saying?

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Giovanni]

It's.

[Adam Carolla]

And you know I love you more than it's humanly possible to love another human being.

[Giovanni]

The entity, entities. Any entity being.

[Adam Carolla]

But.

[Giovanni]

But there's a hole in your soul.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me. And I want you to know that when you came out and you told me you were struggling with your sexuality, I was 1 million percent behind you. My job is to nurture you and to help you in any way you can. And your transition into becoming a woman with some. I. First off, I had to be honest with myself, Oprah. I had to be honest.

[Harley Morenstein]

Do tell.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I was thinking.

[Giovanni]

Are you talking to Oprah?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I was thinking like, excuse us, Brandon. I was thinking like a father, but I was also thinking like a dad.

[Harley Morenstein]

That's so brave.

[Adam Carolla]

And I was also thinking like a male. And I realized I had to put that aside. I had to stop thinking like a male and start thinking like a human.

[Harley Morenstein]

That is some tough stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

And so when Brandon came out.

[Giovanni]

That's me.

[Adam Carolla]

When he started talking about transitioning, my first response was that as a father and as a dad. And I have great shame. Great shame. Because I struggled. Sure, I struggled with that decision. I struggled with that response. I don't know that I can ever fully forgive myself because no father should ever have to respond to a son who's struggling with his sexuality. Just like no pet owner should ever have to bury a pet. And I don't wish that upon my greatest enemy. Frank, if you're listening, he knows who he is. I had to respond to Brandon as a. As a citizen of the galaxy. Not as a father, not as a dad, not as Brandon's dad, but as a citizen of the cosmic galaxy.

[Giovanni]

I told you that in confidence. I asked you not to say anything to anybody. Least of all the most famous woman in the world. Least of all the most famous podcaster.

[Adam Carolla]

In the world, Oprah. First off, I'm living my truth. And your truth.

[Giovanni]

Well, that's what I'm saying.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm living in a multiple planed truth system.

[Giovanni]

Well, maybe we can ask Oprah. That's not how truths work. I think you live your own truth.

[Adam Carolla]

Your comment that you just made blindsided me. And I went into it, Oprah. I went Into a shame spiral that is still going on to this day. That had to be horrible for you when Tuffy died.

[Harley Morenstein]

Yeah, sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And when Brandon told me not to tell the world about his sexuality, brave of that hit me like an oar across the face. And I got it. Can I be honest?

[Harley Morenstein]

Please.

[Adam Carolla]

I was just going through life thinking that other people had problems, thinking that other people buried pets, Thinking that other people literally stood by the bed and watched their mother ravaged. Ravaged with cancer. I thought that was for other people. But when that truth or hit me across the temple, I woke up and I found a mirror which I had on me and I looked into it and I did not like what I saw looking back at me.

[Giovanni]

Well, you've just been hit by an.

[Adam Carolla]

Ore. Is that awful symbolic truth or.

[Harley Morenstein]

Brandon, stay out of it.

[Giovanni]

Yeah, it's about me.

[Adam Carolla]

So what's the name of my book again?

[Harley Morenstein]

Brandon's Truth.

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking A. I've heard more middle aged adults fucking just like just baring their souls and talking about the truth. The truth behind their comedy, the truth behind their book, the truth behind them, how they. What happened in their relationship, their son's truth. It's a weird narcissistic dunk tank that everyone's just wallowing in. Like, fucking knock it off. Go be funny. Tell a joke. I don't like people that are superficial. Like, I don't like comedians that can't turn it off or won't give a straight answer, whatever it is. But this is a whole nother thing we're getting into and it's crazy.

[Giovanni]

I feel like you and Chrissy get different things on the podcast, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Oprah says nothing. Oprah, you, when you listen to that podcast, you're like, it is weird that the most listened to woman on the planet really has nothing in particular to say.

[Harley Morenstein]

Yeah, she's laying back pretty good now.

[Giovanni]

She could do cyber Oprah. You know what I mean? I have the five responses like, oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she just goes. And how does that. She does it. She has a kind of. How did that make you feel? Oh, you can. We can listen to it. That's crazy.

[Harley Morenstein]

I think we just did.

[Adam Carolla]

I just listened to it. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Who are all the. These aren't 14 year old girls. These are 60 year old women who are living their truth, but their lover. And they're talking about every. Every piece of weirdness in their relationship and their sexuality.

[Harley Morenstein]

How do you get on Oprah?

[Adam Carolla]

That's how you get on Oprah, I guess so you got a minute 38 of it. Well, this is, this is her introduction of the podcast world. Okay. I'm Oprah Winfrey and I am delighted to introduce you to my podcast, Super Soul Conversations.

[Harley Morenstein]

You can listen to some of the.

[Adam Carolla]

Most universal, powerful life lessons.

[Giovanni]

The soul is the face you had.

[Adam Carolla]

Before you were born.

[Theresa Strasser]

Oh, I love that.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta sit with that for a moment. Sparks of brilliance. Rather than finding heaven on earth, I think we are asked to release heaven by living on earth. That makes me want to cry. I never thought of that before. And aha.

[Harley Morenstein]

Moments from my Emmy award winning show.

[Adam Carolla]

Super Soul Sunday, featuring my interviews with world renowned thought guide.

[Harley Morenstein]

From Eckhart Tolle to Tony Robbins, people.

[Adam Carolla]

Fail to realize that change happens in a moment. Ow. That's good. Best selling writers Shonda Rhimes, Cheryl Strayed and Elizabeth Gilbert.

[Harley Morenstein]

I'm in charge of this soul that was given to me to take care of.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. What a powerful thing to say. Entertainers like comedian Tracy Morgan and trailblazer Shirley MacLaine. I am everybody who's seeking, and everybody seeking is me.

[Harley Morenstein]

And business giants like LinkedIn CEO Jeff Starbucks, founder.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I found heaven and it's in me on Earth.

[Harley Morenstein]

I know who'd be a great guest coach. Platitude.

[Adam Carolla]

I was gonna say be a great superstar. Do people get embarrassed saying this?

[Giovanni]

Oh, no, no.

[Harley Morenstein]

That is a very safe space to talk like that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Well, it's weird, but it's not just Oprah. Like if you listen to other comedians or other personalities, other whatever, just interviews, they're just blowing. I mean, I don't know why. Call me old fashioned, but especially when it's the dudes and the middle aged dudes that are just blowing hard. I don't get it. I don't find it helpful. All the people who you're trying to rise up out of whatever kind of thing, this kind of puffery about good vibes in heaven, in your souls and soulmates and all that kind of stuff does not help people that are like, struggling with addiction or living under the poverty line or having to work three jobs. All the people you talk about like the middle class is crumbling. People can't afford none of this kind of talk. This is all fucking wizard and warlock talk. They need some fucking real talk. As a matter of fact, they need the opposite of this talk. They need kick in the ass talk. Not like this pie in the sky shit about finding your. You know, those guys that need to get to work and need to better their lives, need sort of a little Vince Lombardi Chalk talk and a little less great vibes. Find your purpose and chase your, you know, chase your muse. That's not helpful to them.

[Giovanni]

It's like an obese person getting inspired to, like, work out. It's like, no, you start, like, taking one step in front of the other. Get off the couch.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, yeah, fat ass. Like, first thing we need to do is label you, fat ass. All right, phone lines are down.

[Giovanni]

All right, this is ADAM K. Show 2592. Coming up next, we have Adam Krilla Show 1469. Greg Fitzsimmons, Cassius Morris, Gina Grad. And Brian Bishop from 2015.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you, bald Brian. How are you feeling? Lot of that. A lot of weekends of that. But you did get out the Fitz.

[Giovanni]

I did not.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well, that's weird. Yeah.

[Giovanni]

That's funny, because Christy was actually sick. She came home sick from work, and we're like, we're not going tonight. I emailed him and said, thanks a lot, but no, thanks.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Giovanni]

So I was like, oh, I don't.

[Adam Carolla]

Know, because last I checked in with you, I thought you were going.

[Giovanni]

You sounded devastated when you found out I was going. So I figured that you were going to check out at some point.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean? I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example. Can I give you an example?

[Giovanni]

I'm all ears.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm a car guy.

[Giovanni]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

I work very hard. And part of the reason that I got into comedy and work as many weekends as I do is to satiate my lust for cars. And I really appreciate it.

[Giovanni]

Supports the habit.

[Adam Carolla]

It does. And I really appreciate the mechanics and the engineering and all that kind of stuff. And so picture a guy like me or just anyone in my vicinity who worked his tail off his whole life, built the business from the ground up, finally squeezed the trigger and got themselves the McLaren Mercedes. And the next thing you know, they pull up to the stoplight and there's Paris Hilton, and she's got a fucking lap dog, and she's sitting right next to him. The exact same car. It diminishes what he's done. Got it.

[Giovanni]

So I'm in this example. I'm Paris Hilton with the laptop.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you're the laptop.

[Giovanni]

I'm the laptop.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Giovanni]

Okay. This is where I'm in the.

[Adam Carolla]

You've diminished what I've accomplished. All right, Andrew.

[Giovanni]

Understood.

[Adam Carolla]

Andrew is here. I love Andrew. Hello, Andrew. Hey.

[G]

How's it going?

[Adam Carolla]

Good.

[Giovanni]

He's a poker shark.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a sweet, sweet Spirit. And I've said I love him because he has the same thing that my son has. Whenever I come into the other office and Andrew is one of the guys we make the movies with, I go, andrew. And he goes, yes. And he does it exact the same way my son does. And it's not because you sound alike. It's because you both have a good, nice spirit to you. All right, so, Andrew, you've been working on the Newman doc. You're working on the next documentary, 24 Hour War. I got a stick, a memory stick. I think we're about 55 minutes into the next one.

[G]

Yeah. Just in the second act.

[Giovanni]

All right, don't tell me who wins.

[Adam Carolla]

We got to talk about Andrew and his eating. But your overall impressions. Are you enjoying yourself? You learning things?

[G]

Yeah, definitely. This was my first job, really out of school. I moved here in October of 2013 and started in November of 2013.

[Giovanni]

Where from?

[G]

Beverly, Massachusetts.

[Harley Morenstein]

Huh?

[G]

Yeah, right near Boston.

[Giovanni]

Interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

And on a now how's it like you can be honest. Is it okay working with me?

[G]

Yeah, yeah, I enjoy it.

[Harley Morenstein]

I like the defeated gaze that goes with that question.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I think the general consensus is I'm a dick. I think, yeah, that could just be my wife talking for other people.

[G]

I mean, I, I. Not to me. I guess it would be the thing. Maybe other people feel that way. Yeah. I don't think you're an asshole.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Andrew's one of the good ones, so he does not feel my wrath. But Andrew's over there with Nate and Brian, who's with a wise. Well, who's also has a very bizarre palette. And they are working on the films, and I'm sort of busting in and out of there, giving a couple of lectures, notes, and then go mussing with the cars, and then it's back out again and over here and back and forth all day. But Andrew's over there handling the business. Andrew, I started noticing, I realized that food is sort of the weather of today's conversation. Back in the day when you didn't have much to talk about with the stranger at the bus stop, you'd go, it's a nice day, huh? Oh, yeah. They say rain's coming. Oh, we need it, we need it, we need it. You know, but for this time of year. Yeah, yeah. And like, a lot of that. And I realize food has sort of taken that place where people talk about the Kobe beef food truck or have you tried? Or do you like, you find yourself? And then I think it's an attempt for human beings to bond. I don't think it's conscious. I think you just sit there and you go, have you tried a. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, I love that place. Oh, you eat there? I love that.

[Giovanni]

Well, how many meals do you eat alone? I mean, like, dinners. You know what I mean? Like, it's a very social thing, either with a spouse or friends or whoever.

[Adam Carolla]

Started talking to Andrew. Now, Andrew, what do you eat for lunch? I mean, now you bring a lunch to work?

[G]

Yeah, I put, like, a Tupperware full of regular Cheerios, and then I sprinkle in some frosted Cheerios to kind of mix it up.

[Adam Carolla]

And then well on the edge as he says it.

[G]

And then a tangerine with that.

[Harley Morenstein]

Do you wash it down with, like, a Gerber Graduate?

[G]

I only drink water.

[Adam Carolla]

Got it. So then we started digging a little with Andrew, and I'd say, like, well, yeah, but you like cherries, don't you? Everyone likes cherries. And he'd go, I don't know. Never tried one. And I'd go, well, where do you come down on avocados? Guacamole. Never had. But it kept going. It kept going, right?

[G]

Yeah. There's a pretty long list, Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Andrew also does a thing which I will say, not as annoying as what Mike August does when we go to the kebab place to eat lunch. He has to eat everything in its entirety. And then it's in order, like, section by section in order. So what I do, the best part about the kebab, to me, or just sort of life, is I get the piece of pita, I put the piece of skewered beef in it, Then I ladle on a little hummus. Then I grab a slice of tomato and some onion from the salad, and I fold the whole thing up. Yeah. Into a little sleeping bag. And I take one big bite, attempting to get the proportions correct for all. Andrew eats his entire salad, then he eats every bit of white rice.

[Giovanni]

He courses out his boring meal, and.

[Adam Carolla]

Then he eats the beef skewers. But he does not take a bite of rice and a bite of beef to me. Peculiar. What do you say? Beef is too much all on its own. The bite of rice, it's nice to get a little carb in there all broken up. Still, not as bad as what I just experienced with Mike August. I forgot he ordered, like, eggplant parmesan as a sort of appetizer for me and him before. Of course, Mike's great because we had a half hour to kill before doing a live show on The East Coast. So we walked down the street. It was snowing. We went into a little restaurant, and Mike did the. Oh, we're not eating dinner. Cause we gotta do a show in 20 minutes, and we already ate a ton of Polish food. Ten seconds later, he's got a huge plate of eggplant parmesan, and he's viciously cutting everything up in advance. And it's like he's scrambling it. It's a weird. Like, he's. It's weird. It's like he's giving his eggplant parm a lobotomy. Like, it's a lot of, like, very cutting. And I'm like, I wanted some too, Mike, but it feels like you've got your stink all over all of it. He had to cut it all up. All it does is get cold quicker.

[Giovanni]

And if it's something like meat or chicken or whatever, it loses the juice. The juice spills out.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know why he insists on this, but it's one of the many Mike things. So now Mike does that. Andrew eats everything in sequential order. But then we started talking about stuff like, well, what kind of burrito do you like? A beef burrito, chicken burrito, bean burrito. And Andrew would be like, never had a burrito. What? Have you ever had a burrito?

[G]

I've had, like, half of one.

[Adam Carolla]

It wasn't compelling enough to. You took the number of burritos I've eaten and put them end to end. You could circumnavigate the globe. All right.

[Giovanni]

How old are you?

[G]

I'm 27.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Harley Morenstein]

He's almost a superpower.

[Adam Carolla]

He grew up on, like, banquet chicken strips and Kool Aid or something. Like, what would you eat? What was your thing?

[G]

Well, I had the same lunch for school every day from, like, first grade straight through 10th or 11th grade. And it was just saltines with a little bit of peanut butter in between. So two of those little sandwiches, a little thing of orange juice, and then a granola bar. So I ate that every day. My mom would just pack that for me every day.

[Adam Carolla]

The conversations we have, honestly, honestly with Andrew are when we go, you like the green olive or the black olive? Never tried an olive. Wow. When's the first time you've tried an olive?

[G]

Oh, it was when I was first working here, and we went to the Cuban place down the street.

[Adam Carolla]

That's your first olive?

[G]

Yeah. And it was an accident. I thought it was just maybe a large pea.

[Adam Carolla]

In the grand scheme of things, you're like Nell, like Jodie Foster's. Character. He's just a feral child. He's never seen an olive. I don't.

[Giovanni]

Batting it like a cat.

[Adam Carolla]

Would you put. Would you eat pizza?

[G]

Yeah, I eat pizza, but I take the cheese off.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's right. Takes the best part off.

[Theresa Strasser]

Why do you hate food?

[Giovanni]

It's like fucking pizza bread.

[Adam Carolla]

He likes cheese but not melted cheese.

[G]

Yeah, I'll eat like a slice of American cheese.

[Giovanni]

That's understandable.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you'll eat a slice of fake cheese, but it'll peel the real cheese off the pizza.

[Giovanni]

I see what appears to be a wedding ring on your hand. Are you in fact married? What did you serve at your wedding?

[G]

I ate steak. We had steak there.

[Harley Morenstein]

Look at you branching out.

[Adam Carolla]

I should tell you guys. Joe Coy and Mark Duplass and Jay Moore and Dana Gould and Vinny Tortorich are all coming up, by the way, on the show this week. Today. Unfortunately, we just got stuck with Andrew. I went to. We're gonna. Now, Chris, are you gonna bring food out or what's your plan? Yeah, we're gonna present Adam with the food, and I mean Andrew with the food. And you are going to guess if. If he will eat it or not. I spent. It's a good pod, like the whole evening at Anna Faris house last night doing her podcast, which was really, really interesting, and bought a little Mangria. Brought some Mangria. We got a little lubed up and then we started talking. You know when people, you know, when people's characters are just who they are, comes pushing through. It's just Anna Fares. Could not be anything else than Anna Far. Yes, Super Anna Pharisees. Super sweet, super kind. Had a great time and I think that's gonna be available. It'll be out there pretty soon.

[Giovanni]

Is that technique?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I went and did her podcast. Yeah.

[Harley Morenstein]

Is it like theme oriented or is it just bullshitting back and forth?

[Adam Carolla]

It's a little relationship with some calls, but just some sort of general life discussion. But very, very interesting.

[Giovanni]

No exaggeration. Of all the very funny, talented female comedian comedic actresses out there. She's number one for me. She's my favorite comedic actress.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well, I'll pass that along to her necessary speaker. She is. And she's so. I don't mean sensitive in a negative way. Sonny's sensitive in a negative way? No, no, not in a negative way.

[Giovanni]

He's outside the room.

[Adam Carolla]

No way. Are you kidding me? No. Sonny, we went for a walk today and there were a couple of dogs that were barking at us like through the bottom of the fence. It's always funny.

[Giovanni]

What do they want? Father?

[Adam Carolla]

Dogs are funny because their snouts are 4 or 5 inches long. So they can kind of shove them through knotholes and under fences and stuff, channeling fences. And they can bark at you and be on your side of the Mason Dixon, but still be on their side of the line, you know, but it's weird. And anyway, at some point the gate pushed open and the two dogs wandered out and we'd stopped and I was walking Philly Cheesesteak and Sonny. And Phil's. The dog's nuts. Like, if a dog's barking at him, he lunges at him to play. Sure. He's a huge, you know, he's 80 pound puppy who wants to run at anything that's coming at him. And there's dogs like six months old or something, he's like five.

[Giovanni]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And the dog's growling and barking and he. Phil's lunging at him. And so I'm hanging on to Phil and we're up the street and these two dogs come wandering out of this corner house. And I know it's a nice guy lives there because we went caroling this year.

[Giovanni]

That's right, that's right.

[Adam Carolla]

And that was one of the houses where Natalia was banging on the door. Nine, ten in the evening, by the way. I had to cut it off at a certain point and like he'd open the door and she's like caroling away. The guy turns up to be very friendly. His two dogs come out onto his lawn and next to the street. And Sonny stops and he goes, we gotta go to that house and we gotta go tell the owner that their dogs are out. And I said, yeah, but those dogs were just barking at us. And then if you come up the front doorway and ring the doorbell, those two dogs may go bananas on you. And he's. He just. We were about a hundred feet away and he just stood in the street and he had insane concern about these two dogs, why the owner should know what could possibly happen. At a certain point. We took a step toward the dogs and the dogs both barked at us as we took a step back toward the house. They didn't seem to want to leave the lawn. They weren't stepping out in the street. They were just staying on the lawn. They weren't runners and they weren't runners. And I just said, you know, Sonny, I got filly here. I don't trust those dogs for you to go walking across their lawn to the front door without one of them. Nipping you. And he was like, yeah, but what if they go on the street? And then he said, well, the other street's a dead end, so if they go that way, there's no traffic at least. But he really just stood there in the street as a nine year old, wildly concerned, contemplating about someone he didn't know.

[Giovanni]

That's good instincts.

[Adam Carolla]

And two dogs he didn't know that were just barking at him. He just has that instinct. And Anna, or aunt, well, it's weird. She's Aunt's Anna.

[Giovanni]

I've heard Anna.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it's on. It's on. Anyway. Sweet. Totally sweet.

[Harley Morenstein]

She would have gone to that door too.

[Adam Carolla]

Completely sweet. Yes. So that was kind of fun. Chris, her famous husband, was on location somewhere. So it was just the two of us. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. So, Andrew. All right, here we go. Will Andrew eat it because he's picking his lunches. Plain Cheerios. Eats pizza without cheese because he eats hot dogs from the middle out. Must have a mental disease because he's. His taste buds are so f. He won't eat a pie because he's. Andrew's eating is so weird. Like a toddler who is hiding pretty good. All right, nice. Thanks, Mike. I guess. And Dick Banks. So Andrew's all over the road. Yes. He likes plain hot dogs. He really eats them from the middle.

[Giovanni]

Do you cut them? Anything from the middle or you like?

[G]

It takes about two bites. Usually you just get it right from the middle and then I go out. Out towards the ends.

[Harley Morenstein]

Who hurt you? Why do you do that?

[G]

I just. I didn't used to eat the ends.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't like the wrinkled part. He didn't like the wrinkled part. And he didn't. And thank God you're not gay because that'd be a disaster. Going down on the boyfriend. I don't eat the end. I start in the middle and I don't eat the end.

[Giovanni]

I don't eat the wrinkle part.

[Adam Carolla]

And we never. We used to play this with Angie back on the terrestrial radio days. And you just never know she would buck.

[Giovanni]

One way that you expect her to go. She'd zig when you thought she would zag.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Sunny's in studio. Sonny fixed the collar and shirt.

[Giovanni]

We don't need this to.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, what do we got here? Will Andrew eat a hot wing? Ooh, a hot wing.

[Harley Morenstein]

I think.

[Giovanni]

Is there anything special about the hot wing? Is it a jalapeno?

[Harley Morenstein]

No, I think the very fact that it's hot is going to turn him off.

[Adam Carolla]

He Loves. And you love watching football, right, Andrew?

[G]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

And obviously this is staple of football. Watching you come from a part of the country where hot wings are consumed quite often.

[Giovanni]

Botta has a prop bet. How many wings will Buffalo Wild Wings sell this year? The over under is 12 million.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. 12 million. I'm going to say no because it has the word hot in it as well. Yeah.

[Giovanni]

I say no. I think there's also an ickiness factor with it being on the bone.

[Harley Morenstein]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Three nos.

[G]

I would not eat that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Hero Chris has it on a platter. Chris is bringing it in. Somebody's gotta eat those. Oh, yeah. Oh, you will? All right, all right. Will Andrew eat celery? Ooh.

[Harley Morenstein]

Super plain, super bland. Has a weird crunch, though.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, another thing that he and Sonny share is if you take last night, Lynette's laid out in bed. I gotta handle dinner. There's some leftover McDonald's. So here come the chicken nuggets and the french fries that I heat up in the oven and then throw. What Sonny wanted was a handful of carrots on the plate. Sonny will eat the carrots first. Is there another nine year old or just human being that McDonald's, french fries, McNuggets, and then just plain carrots sitting next to it. Demolish the carrots first before you pick up one fry.

[Giovanni]

That might be a first in human history.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Sonny's that good. All right.

[G]

That's the way to do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Sonny. I know Andrew does. He does do vegetables.

[Giovanni]

I was gonna say, when it comes down to will he eat it? This is. Do you prefer it or like you won't touch it?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. We can't define it that well. He just. He. I say he will eat it because it's tasteless. Now, he's not gonna like the part that it has fiber in it. Like, it's probably gonna go stringy, but.

[Giovanni]

That'S the stringy thing jumped out of it.

[Adam Carolla]

But I think because it possesses no flavor, I say yes.

[Harley Morenstein]

I think the stringiness is going to completely turn him off. I'm going no.

[Giovanni]

I say no. Also because his history doesn't lean towards vegetables like olives. So I say no, I would eat it.

[Adam Carolla]

Damn it.

[Theresa Strasser]

Prove it. Eat it right now.

[Adam Carolla]

He wants to keep his job. Yeah. There he is. He does do vegetables. He does.

[Giovanni]

He's just.

[Adam Carolla]

Just like Sonny.

[Brian Bishop]

Damn it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I'm up. I got two zero. You guys. One and one, right?

[Giovanni]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Giovanni]

Oh, you have one up on us.

[Adam Carolla]

Correct.

[Giovanni]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Here we go. Will Andrew eat a lay's classic potato chip?

[Harley Morenstein]

Now, who wouldn't eat a lay's Classic?

[Giovanni]

Is this your day to trick us?

[Adam Carolla]

Andrew, as you may have figured out, is very bizarre when it comes to eating.

[Harley Morenstein]

And by the way, he has no tell. Look at that face.

[Adam Carolla]

Told you.

[Giovanni]

Master poker player.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, just a regular potato chip. How can you not.

[Giovanni]

Yeah, it's on there for. I mean, unless it's on there to fool us.

[Harley Morenstein]

Is too salty.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna say no.

[Harley Morenstein]

Ooh.

[Giovanni]

I'll say yes. I'm trying to get back in.

[Harley Morenstein]

I am, too. And I think he'll eat it.

[G]

I would not eat that.

[Adam Carolla]

Damn it. Why? Why?

[G]

It's not substantial enough. I like ruffle chips.

[Adam Carolla]

You like ruffles?

[G]

Yeah.

[Giovanni]

Discerning.

[G]

I haven't found a good ruffle in California yet, though.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Harley Morenstein]

It's not regional.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a water related thing or something. They're just.

[G]

They're too spread out. You know, like they' wavy more than ruffly.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they have a different mold that they use in Connecticut.

[G]

Yeah, the Hannaford brand, if anybody out there wants to try it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you got your own brand of ruffled chip. So it's not a lay's ruffled chip. Hold on a second. So let me just get this straight. The taste of the potato chip, you don't. It's too thin.

[G]

It's too thin.

[Adam Carolla]

It's too weird. So you guys have to realize that melted cheese, guacamole things, textures and consistencies factor in heavily, like a child.

[Giovanni]

Yeah, but potato chip texture has never been a problem for anyone on this earth.

[Harley Morenstein]

Celery texture's horrible.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, let's see, Brian, this could be tough for you, and the answer is probably gonna be neither, but sun chip or Pringle?

[G]

I used to eat Pringles.

[Adam Carolla]

Kind of neither. Back in your experimental phase. Yeah, back when you're dropping a lot of peyote.

[Harley Morenstein]

It's a gateway to college thing.

[Adam Carolla]

You're following fish back then it was a different life. Before he found Jesus, stopped eating crayons, cut his hair. All right, we're not making fun of you, Sonny. I mean, in general, yes, but not specifically. Yes. Will Andrew eat pigs in a blanket?

[Harley Morenstein]

Only from the middle.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. He will eat a hot dog.

[Harley Morenstein]

I don't think he's gonna eat.

[Adam Carolla]

He will eat a hot dog. And he. By the way, the pig's in a blanket. I know you wouldn't put mustard on it, but with a dollop of that brown mustard on it is so Delectable.

[Giovanni]

Chris, how many total foods do we have? Two more.

[Adam Carolla]

Two more.

[Giovanni]

I need to get close.

[Harley Morenstein]

He's so bothered by the ends of a hot dog, and there's really no way around it with a cocktail weenie.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a good point. But he does eat, like, a nine year old. Like, you have to kind of factor that in.

[Giovanni]

The chip just threw me for. Between the Chip and the Coen brothers, I don't know what to think.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna say he does eat the pig in the blanket.

[Giovanni]

I think he does, too. But just to get in the game, I gotta say no.

[Harley Morenstein]

Logic tells us his own history tells us he doesn't eat it.

[G]

So, no, I would not eat that.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Andrew, you beautiful weirdo.

[Harley Morenstein]

And is it because of the ends?

[G]

It's because of the blanket.

[Harley Morenstein]

Oh, my God.

[Theresa Strasser]

Just so you think he's gonna zig.

[Harley Morenstein]

His ass every time.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Sonny, relax over there. You're not Mike. Sonny. Claude. That's good instinct, that is. The blanket is just like a Pillsbury.

[Giovanni]

Crawl crescent roll, essentially.

[G]

Yeah. I'm not a fan of Pillsbury.

[Harley Morenstein]

Now, if you try the one from Hannah, now here's the one that's gonna.

[Adam Carolla]

Freak you out to me. I have never had a bad crescent roll.

[Giovanni]

Sure, they're all the best.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, even if they're two days old, they're just the best. Flaky. Do you like croissant?

[G]

No.

[Giovanni]

Oh, no way.

[Adam Carolla]

There's nothing exotic about it. It's just dough and butter.

[Giovanni]

Yeah, no, it's a texture issue.

[G]

Yeah, I just. Not. I barely ever had them, too. It's a rare thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right.

[Giovanni]

Amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, our final food. Andrew, you should never, ever, ever travel. Never travel. Never even go to an airport.

[G]

I went to Montreal and I lost, like, 30 pounds while I was there.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Harley Morenstein]

No poutine for you.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, the last one. Will Andrew eat tortilla chips? Ooh, just a pile of tortilla chips. All right, what's the score? I think I got one down. It's three to two. To two. Ace, you're in the lead, so we gotta go.

[Giovanni]

Opposite of you.

[Harley Morenstein]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but the tortilla chip might be too exotic for him.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna go. Won't eat it.

[Giovanni]

Damn it.

[Harley Morenstein]

Yeah.

[Giovanni]

Because he's from Boston, I can't imagine he encountered tortilla chips as often as we do out here in California.

[Harley Morenstein]

Do we have to?

[Giovanni]

We have to if you want to.

[Brian Bishop]

Be in the game.

[Harley Morenstein]

I'd like to be in the game.

[Giovanni]

All right. He will eat it. Damn it.

[G]

I will eat this.

[Adam Carolla]

I knew it.

[G]

I requested rounds, but these will do.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's round the Tostitos. All right. Did we just end that whole thing in a tie? We do have a tie. Okay, tie. We have a tie, but we don't know if we have a tie breaker. Oh, Chris had a tiebreaker.

[Giovanni]

All right, Chris is on point.

[Adam Carolla]

Sonny, fix your collar, would you? You're driving, Daddy.

[Giovanni]

That's what Buttons are askew.

[Harley Morenstein]

He kind of has a James Spader thing going on right now. From the 80s.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You should be smoking in a stairwell and explaining to me that that girl's not our kind. A conversation that I still submitted never exactly has ever transpired in a high school where I'm banging a hot young chick and I got my buddy smoking with his popped collar going, what are you doing with her? And I'm like, having sex. Yeah. Have you seen her dad's house? No, I'm too busy staring at my ceiling through her hair.

[Giovanni]

He drives a domestic car.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay. It's a great sort of 80s premise, but the reality is I didn't know who had anything in high school. It was just, that chick's hot and that chick's not all it ever was. Yeah, but that's all that matters. I went by her dad's place at noon the other day. He was in his bathroom. Okay, so he's not really our kind. All right, what do we got? It's a tiebreaker. Will Andrew eat popcorn?

[Harley Morenstein]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. God damn, Andrew. Super bowl is coming up today. You're just going to sit in front of the TV set, pull up a nice piece of styrofoam, and just nibble on it while you, while you watch.

[G]

The game, might have some ice cream.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, ice cream. That's right. The most insane thing is when I walk into the office and I get tag teamed by him and Brian and I'm like, you don't like pie? And they both start getting defensive, like, what is there to like about pie? And I'll go like, well, how about cake? What do you need? What do we need cake for? Who needs cake? I don't get cake. And then I'm the insane person standing in between the two people. They're like, we have donuts and ice cream. What do we need cake for? No pie. You like Zero pie?

[G]

Zero pie?

[Adam Carolla]

Just for fun. Apple pie?

[G]

Nope.

[Adam Carolla]

Pumpkin pie?

[G]

Oh, definitely not.

[Adam Carolla]

Definitely not. Banana cream?

[G]

No.

[Giovanni]

Chocolate cream pie? Just pudding.

[G]

That would be the. If I had you Know Gundam? I'd go that way.

[Adam Carolla]

Cake.

[G]

I like vanilla cake.

[Harley Morenstein]

Of course he does.

[G]

Vanilla cake with vanilla frosting.

[Adam Carolla]

The worst. The cake. That is the lowest on the cake totem pole for me.

[Giovanni]

What do you consider the most exotic food you like? Like, if you're going crazy?

[G]

Well, we do fun Fridays, and we have milkshakes. That's not too.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought I put an end to fun Friday.

[G]

Simon's keeping him alive.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no. Simon's editing. Damn him. All right, all right.

[Giovanni]

Popcorn.

[G]

Nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

Can we. Can we implement at least if we're going to keep fun Friday, Employ all these guys over there at the building. They're having a good time over there on Friday. Can we at least get back to my miserable Wednesdays to offset the fun Friday? Let's at least go back to that. I feel like you guys have dropped the ball on my miserable Wednesdays. Yeah. The greatest thing with Andrew is on his birthday to head to Denny's. Should we go on Nate. We go on Nate's birthday to Denny's. Yeah.

[G]

Yep. And mine. Yeah.

[Harley Morenstein]

What'd you get? Moons over my hammy.

[G]

I could just get a hamburger.

[Harley Morenstein]

Just a hamburger.

[G]

Just meat in the bun.

[Adam Carolla]

No. No cheese. No. Lettuce? No. Onion?

[G]

No.

[Giovanni]

Ketchup?

[Harley Morenstein]

Little ketchup?

[G]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. That's the birthday meal. All right. What do we got in there? I can't even see in there. Just white.

[Harley Morenstein]

Plain white popcorn.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just gonna say no. I don't know how we break this guy.

[Harley Morenstein]

All right, we're going. Yes.

[G]

It's not smart food, right?

[F]

What?

[G]

Okay, then, yeah, I'll eat it.

[Adam Carolla]

You guys share your victory. All right.

[Harley Morenstein]

I have so many questions for you, Andrew.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what Andrew will eat. How's the 24 hour war going, Andrew? The next doc I know, Nate's getting ready to head off to Italy and England to interview, like, Ferrari's, Ferrari's bastard son.

[Giovanni]

Real bastardo.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Who ran the company for a while. That's coming up, right?

[G]

Yeah. In about two weeks, I think he leaves. Yeah. And so that'll be good because that's kind of the perspective we're missing at this point. Is Ferrari's side of everything.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. This is Ferrari and Ford at le mans, the big battle that took place in the 60s. All right, so I'm going to go home, actually tonight, and I'll watch the 55 minutes that you guys have whacked together.

[Giovanni]

This time after Kimmel super bowl party.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, boy.

[Giovanni]

I have some notes.

[Adam Carolla]

Andrew, you didn't mind my notes, did you?

[G]

No, no, it helps improve things.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, look at that. Look at that. But true. I would show up every Monday with my yellow notepad, go over a ton of shit that we need to fix, but I don't think any of it was out of the question or bizarre or just because. Right.

[Giovanni]

I was gonna say, Andrew, edit out all the pink elephants.

[Adam Carolla]

It made the process, the product better in the big picture.

[G]

Yeah, yeah. It's always helpful to get the notes and know what needs to be improved and everything.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Andrew's got the kind of attitude that everyone should have. I love this kid. All right, get out of here. He's sick of me.

[Giovanni]

All right, this is Adam Kurilla Show 1469. Come up next, we have Adam Kurilla Show 1993 featuring Harley Mortensen, Epic Meal Time himself, Daymond John, Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop from 2013.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's check Adam's voicemail. Brought to you by Evoice. Hey, tell Adam that I saw Wreck.

[G]

Em Ralph and it was a really.

[Adam Carolla]

Good movie and I was really proud that Adam was part of it and.

[G]

Played the Winchell character and Sarah Silverman was fantastic.

[Harley Morenstein]

So that was cool. That was cool.

[Adam Carolla]

And I saw Adam Corolla's name impressed. Ah, look, Adam Corolla. Mike from Van Nuys. Click the evoice banner on AdamCarolla.com or go to www. To get an exclusive 6 month free trial offer. Evoice, your mobile phone at work. Yeah, he's back. Harley Morenstein is here. Screw up, Morenstein.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, you got it, you got it.

[Adam Carolla]

Epic Meal Time. Is his show soon? Epic Chef coming as well. It's radical. It's crazy. I. And I'll tell you all about it, but you've probably seen it. Probably been one of the 500 million people that have checked it out. I was watching the latest episode with the hot dog casserole.

[Brian Bishop]

Disgusting, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but sort of. But if you kind of think about what we eat anyway, if you sort of take your average. Well, first off, once you can do the McRib, I think you can do anything. You know what I mean? What could be weirder than pouring some sort of pig flavored juice into a rib shaped mold and then baking it?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, stuffing five birds wrapped in bacon inside of a pig and then attaching 10 of them ass to mouth and garnishing them with baconators is something we've done as well. Which makes the McRib look like a salad.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true.

[Giovanni]

The piggy centipede.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's Right.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

The show could be called why the Terrorists Hate Us.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Yes. I'm actually factoid. We're Canadian, so we kind of obstacle. We hop over that whole obstacle of, oh, so American.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. Yeah. You're ugly Canadian.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, exactly. Furry gross lumberjacks. Smelly Canadians.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, it's only a matter of time before Canadians get ugly too. Why can't they be ugly? They eat a lot.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, they're trying. I'm out here on my own trying to prove that Canadians can be ugly, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

So you used to be a high school teacher?

[Brian Bishop]

Technically. I could still teach high school if I wanted to.

[Harley Morenstein]

What would you teach?

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

History.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

English.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Those are all the things you could. You know, it's funny. If you close your eyes, there's a little Tom Green. Audibly.

[Harley Morenstein]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Little Tom Green.

[Giovanni]

Then you open your eyes. It's a shock.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a Canadian accent.

[Harley Morenstein]

I feel like we should ask Harley his opinion on some of the more controversial foodstuffs that have come up on this show, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Harley Morenstein]

Such as Oreos and baby corn. Where are you with either of those?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm right there in the middle of it. What do you mean? Sounds great. I would love Oreos and baby corn.

[Harley Morenstein]

No, I don't mean together. We feel that Oreos are vastly overrated.

[Adam Carolla]

Wildly overrated. As a cookie. You know what I mean? As liver. They're good.

[Harley Morenstein]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But as a cookie, bad. Oreos.

[Harley Morenstein]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, if. All right, let's put it. I'll put it to you this way. If some girl Scouts came to my door and we can't, because there's a restraining thing, but I don't want to get into a bunch of legalities. But the point is this. If they could come to my door legally allowed to come to my door, and they offered me the thin mints and the Samoas and the peanut butter chocolate one or whatever, the Oreo would be at second to the bottom of the list, which is just a white shortbread cookie, which is barely even a cookie. I don't even know what they're doing. Trefoil. Yeah. That would be at the bottom of my. Girl Scout. Would you. Was there a girl scout cookie that you would not get before an Oreo?

[Brian Bishop]

I love Oreos.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, I'm gonna have to ask you the last question.

[Brian Bishop]

I honestly want to leave here now. This is so weird. Oreos, guys, come on. You don't dunk them in milk.

[Adam Carolla]

Cannot bring up things. Here's what you can't do. I cannot say to you hey, do you like this Arby's beef sandwich? And you go, I don't by the way. No, that's not fair. Really? Because what if Claudia Schiffer was sucking you off while you were eating it? All right, so you do like it. I thought that's. What if you were on a beach and Claudia dropped a digit on you and you were just sucking off a daiquiri while she was just tongue in your bunghole? Then that rb, that Arby's, not so bad, huh?

[Brian Bishop]

I'd suck off of daiquiri.

[Adam Carolla]

So you do like Arby's.

[Giovanni]

Feel like I'm more confused.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't like Arby's.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, but there's. Back. Take it back.

[Harley Morenstein]

We're saying that food has to be judged on its own merits.

[Adam Carolla]

Fine, dunk it.

[Brian Bishop]

Tell me how many cookies you could split out and tongue fuck the middle of. How many can you do that with a Fudgio? A Fudgio is just a poor man's version of an Oreo trying to capture what an Oreo is. A chocolate version.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like that's a Canadian version of something we have that you guys rename.

[Brian Bishop]

This is an all chocolate.

[Harley Morenstein]

Yeah, Oreo, evidently.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a chocolate version of the middle. But Oreo's like this is expanded. This is whether you guys like it or not.

[Harley Morenstein]

Fucking Nutter Butter.

[Brian Bishop]

This is whether you guys like it.

[Adam Carolla]

I definitely tongue fucking nut about it.

[Brian Bishop]

Oreo is on the level of chocolate chip cookies.

[Adam Carolla]

Fudgio is also a gay move that you don't want to be on the losing end of. You definitely want to be.

[Harley Morenstein]

No, that's the shortest straws.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

Right you are. But I have a point to make. Oreos are on the same level as chocolate chip cookies. And here's why. There is chocolate chip cookie dough flavored ice cream and all that jazz and then there's Oreo flavored ice creams. Show me these other cookies that the girl scout sluts are bringing to your door. That there is cakes and cookie versions of or cake and ice cream versions of.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I would argue that when they do the ice cream and cake version of. That's them just trying to get rid of it. That's them dumping broken Oreos. Like you make 200 billion Oreos a day. One out of every 159 of them breaks on a conveyor belt. You need a place to dump them.

[Giovanni]

It's the landfill equivalent.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a landfill. What happens? It's the ice cream landfill.

[Brian Bishop]

What happened to you guys with Oreos.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to know. I want to know what Girl Scout cookie you would put the Oreo above those.

[Brian Bishop]

I like those. Oh, the Girl Scout cookies.

[Adam Carolla]

Give me your order of Girl Scout. Of the Girl Scout cookies. You hate me.

[Brian Bishop]

You hate me. We've established that.

[Adam Carolla]

I love the girl. I don't hate you. I hate what you stand for.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, maybe it's a weird Canadian thing. We respect Oreos in Canada.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. You would put it above the Samoas and the Thin Mints and those peanut butter ones that are the best.

[Brian Bishop]

Mints can fuck right off. I'll tell you.

[Adam Carolla]

Whoa.

[Brian Bishop]

Mint ice cream, anything. Unless you're a candy cane or you're a mint after dinner, I don't want you in my ice cream. I don't want you in my chocolate. Mints can fuck right off, York.

[Adam Carolla]

Even Peppermint patties can suck your dick, York.

[Brian Bishop]

Peppermint Patty is going to suck me right off.

[Adam Carolla]

You're absolutely right.

[Giovanni]

Are you prepared for the repercussions from Big Mint Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

Flame warmy Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

I just break right up your ass. This is. You know what? We got to move on to something that we can. We can agree upon and celebrate, because I like mint. I like. If I got high, I would eat toothpaste. I like the taste of mint that much.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a different discussion.

[Adam Carolla]

And the notion that you think, or maybe there's some Canadian Oreo that we're not aware of. Maybe they make it with sugar over there or something.

[Brian Bishop]

Listen, I gotta tell you something. I eat Taco Bell sober, so what I think of food is completely skewed.

[Adam Carolla]

You're like a pelican.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So what's. Is there something. I know you can't give it away, but let's talk about Epic Chef.

[Brian Bishop]

It's out. By the way.

[Adam Carolla]

How does that work? How does Epic Chef work? You can see full episodes, by the way, at Epic Mealtime.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, Epic Chef was. I. I made Epic Mealtime. We don't know anything about cooking. We get drunk and we cook up a whole bunch of things, and it's really fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Brian Bishop]

And Epic Chef happened when I was stoned watching Food Network, and I was like, watching Chopped, and I was like, that's cool. Why doesn't anyone do that on the Internet? And then I was like, shit, it's my responsibility.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

You're the number one online cooking show, and I'm sitting here in Toronto, Canada, stoned, watching it. I was like, all right, I'm gonna go do it. Made a Couple calls. And now we have a competitive cooking show where people get three secret ingredients and I get drunk on set and I yell at them, right? And I make Gordon Ramsay look like a really nice, kind dude. And I get to yell at professional chefs who have been training their whole lives to cook. And you know, just because of the Internet and how fucked up the future is, I'm in the position where I could tell them your food is sucks because there's not enough Oreos in it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Harley Morenstein]

Like, what are three sample ingredients? You might have them do something with.

[Brian Bishop]

Sushi grade lard.

[Adam Carolla]

They have sushi grade lard?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, sure. Anything is sushi grade if you say it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Captain Morgan, spiced rum.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wait a minute. I think we have some of that.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait a minute. Let's suck these down right now. Am I right?

[Adam Carolla]

Toast to that?

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know, fingernails, whatever you want. Three secret ingredients, right? And then they have 45 minutes to cook it. And I'm kind of there messing with them the whole time. And right here, this is my official invite. You should come on and be a judge.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'd love to be a judge.

[Brian Bishop]

You like to eat?

[Adam Carolla]

I like to judge. Good. A lot of people say you can't judge. I love judging. All I do is judge.

[Brian Bishop]

Perfect. And now you're going to get to judge something that realistically, I mean, what do you know about food other than what you eat, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

I know what I like. Exactly. I like those people.

[Brian Bishop]

That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Because I think everyone knows what they like. Yeah. I think severely retarded people know what they like. Even if it's a ball of yarn, they know what they like.

[Giovanni]

Bruce's kids to know what they like on a pizza.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, shit.

[Giovanni]

Not everyone knows what they like.

[Adam Carolla]

I guess not.

[Harley Morenstein]

They're the only ones who don't, though. Everyone.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like they're just being coy or something.

[Harley Morenstein]

They're making you work for it.

[Adam Carolla]

So what do you like now? Is there something here in the States? So you live in Canada, right, Harley? Is there something here in the States that you can't get over there? Like In N Out Burger?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, I'd love to talk to you about In N Out Burger. You want to talk about overrated?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh boy, oh boy. Here we go.

[Brian Bishop]

What's happening? Is this something that happens? People say that In N Out is overrated.

[Adam Carolla]

No, we love it here.

[Brian Bishop]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Brian Bishop]

You guys are so balls deep. In N Out. You're not really taking it in. I got to try In N Out eight Years ago. And I was like, it's incredible. And then I came back eight years later. I'm like, this is. This is fucked. This is half a step above McDonald's. Oh, fat burger. Now that I like fat burger. And in California, umami burger. Wow, that is good shit.

[Adam Carolla]

That's great shit.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's great shit.

[Adam Carolla]

But that's. That's comparing a, you know, Ford Fiesta to Alexis.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, one is shit and one is good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but one is.

[Brian Bishop]

Umami burger is.

[Adam Carolla]

One is good. One is 70 grand. The other is 14 grand.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, we're not talking about the money here. We're talking about the burger itself and what that is.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, somebody was gonna come in here and bring us a little treat, I think your guys.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, my friends.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. We gotta break the tension, because between the love of the Oreos and the dismissal of the In N Out burger.

[Giovanni]

I don't know where to turn this.

[Harley Morenstein]

It's an attack.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

This is crazy. This is Amir, this is Tyler, and this is Josh.

[Adam Carolla]

How are you?

[Brian Bishop]

They brought you guys some candy bacon and some shots of Kathy Morgan. Yeah, this is one of our staples, Cap.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, candy bacon.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Bacon candy.

[Brian Bishop]

No, not bacon. Candy. Bacon. Candy is very different. Yeah, this is real bacon. Don't be scared.

[Harley Morenstein]

I am scared, though.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't be scared. Smell it.

[Adam Carolla]

Edible.

[Brian Bishop]

Like Jurassic Park. Smell it. Tongue it.

[Giovanni]

By the way.

[Adam Carolla]

No, don't be scared.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't be scared. Don't be scared.

[Adam Carolla]

It's too late. Do you want me to help you take a half? No, I'm fine.

[Brian Bishop]

Half bite.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Num num.

[Harley Morenstein]

I feel like you guys should serve this in a diaper.

[Adam Carolla]

What?

[Brian Bishop]

That's a great episode. That's a great episode of Epic meal time.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, you guys, get the out of here.

[Giovanni]

Brown sugar and bacon.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you can't go wrong with that.

[Brian Bishop]

One shot. Here, go to. I'll take.

[Adam Carolla]

We already did the Captain Morgan shot for the commercial. Remember that? But.

[Brian Bishop]

But did you raise your leg?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you. Did you do a leg hump?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, here we go.

[Brian Bishop]

What are we drinking this, too, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Clear it out. Here we go.

[Brian Bishop]

What am I drinking this to?

[Adam Carolla]

Not being sober.

[Giovanni]

I am never gonna get tired of this.

[Brian Bishop]

I took that pill and doesn't work.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, thanks a lot for the.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks a lot for the candy bacon.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Harley Morenstein]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

That's Josh, Tyler, and Amir. They. They're on epic meal time, which you can catch on YouTube. And now also your show is on YouTube. This is. This is it right now.

[Adam Carolla]

This is it.

[Brian Bishop]

Crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's happening as we saw coming together.

[Brian Bishop]

Fucking Internet.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the fucking future of entertainment. And it smells like bacon. All right, so you like. You like Fat Burger and women. I like Fat Burger, too. You know what I think? Let me say something. I think the brothers. I know you don't have black people in Canada, but we have black people here.

[Brian Bishop]

We have about a baker's dozen.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but not black people. Black people. You know what I mean?

[Harley Morenstein]

Like Canadian.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like Seal. You know what I mean? We have real black people here. And I feel like if you want to go and find a Good Burger, follow a couple black people because they know Good burgers, and they do like the fat Burger. That is their burger. The choice of the black man is Fat Burger. The double king cheese with the egg on it. That's the. Like. You like the egg, too?

[Brian Bishop]

I love all that. I guess I'm a little black myself.

[Adam Carolla]

How do we get more cholesterol into this thing that's already dripping with cholesterol. That's Fat Burger. Yeah. I did go to. I'll have you know. And I'm not gonna argue with you about Fat Burger. That's a hell of a delicious.

[Brian Bishop]

It's such a big burger, and it's juicy, and it's real. And I know In N Out is great.

[Adam Carolla]

It is.

[Brian Bishop]

It's just my problem with In N Out is probably your same problem with Oreos. There's a lot of talk about it and. Calm down. Calm down.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

It's just a fucking. Yeah, it's regular.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

It's exclusive, but it's regular.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's the. It's the best you're gonna do for a buck 79. That's. That's my feeling. But it's not gonna beat the Unami or whatever burger. And the Fat Burger is pretty darn good. One time. I don't know why, but it always just cracked me up. When I was in high school, we used to drive to the Fat Burger in Westwood just to get a Fat Burger. And we're standing in line, and somebody behind us said, how are the hot dogs here? And my friend, in his, like, snobbiest voice said, I wouldn't know. It cracked me up. Like, when you're 17, certain shit just cracked you up. It just cracked me up. But who the fuck goes to Fat Burger? That's my beat. Oh, who goes to Fat Burger gets a hot dog. You get a hot dog?

[Brian Bishop]

No, I get the hamburger every time. But sometimes I like to try something else on the menu. So I've gone down the list and I've got the hot dog. I've got a turkey. I've got all their things that they have.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, it's part of your job.

[Brian Bishop]

It sucks.

[Adam Carolla]

Part of your job. But I have been.

[Brian Bishop]

I get a stomach ache every time I go.

[Adam Carolla]

I have gone to, like, carnies. That's the place in the train. That's a couple of those around. They make a good hot dog because they steam it and the casing snaps and you get that little rush of juice and stuff like that. And I've been there waiting in line while people are waiting for their taco salad. And it's like, what the fuck are you doing here? Ordering a taco salad. You can get a taco salad anywhere. Why here and why. And you're holding up the whole shit. Because the hot dog thing, they got down. They're moving on the hot dogs out of the steamer, open the hopper, throw it in the thing. The Mexican chick with the squeeze thing and the mustard, blah, blah, blah. When you order the taco salad, you've now mucked.

[Harley Morenstein]

No, because they have to go look up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, someone's going to the other car slowed everything down. Oh, where's the lettuce? It's in the caboose.

[Brian Bishop]

Because you didn't want to go that little extra bit for little factoid. There's no Mexican places in Montreal, Canada, where I'm from. We have two, and one of them is a Taco Bell.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Brian Bishop]

How sad is that?

[Adam Carolla]

It is sad.

[Brian Bishop]

Listen, it hurts.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me say this, Harley. We're lousy with Mexicans here in la. We could lend you a few of ours.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, you're lousy with a lot of people out here.

[Theresa Strasser]

I know.

[Brian Bishop]

Give us everything.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll send you some Mexicans.

[Brian Bishop]

Give me all of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Send some Armenians and I'll give you like a whole brochure on breeding them. You can raise them as your own. And next, you know, you get some decent falafel and some decent Mexican food over there.

[Brian Bishop]

We would greatly appreciate that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you would change the entire trajectory. Rabbits. You just leave them alone in the same apartment. There's no big deal. You got clean up and stuff like that. I'll bring them by, I'll talk about you all.

[Brian Bishop]

Greatly appreciate that.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll do.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll give my country.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'll help you get some decent, decent Mexican food over there. Do you have. Do you have, like Middle Eastern stuff?

[Brian Bishop]

Yep. What, like shawarma, falafel? Yeah, all that jazz we got that. That's drunk food.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that is. How do you pronounce the gyro or the G? Row or the hero? Nobody knows.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't want to be weird Canadian and say something stupid, but go ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

No. How you speak for all of Canada when you tell us how the giro, the gyro, or the hero is pronounced.

[Brian Bishop]

I would actually probably mix it up, depending on my buzz when I'm ordering it. Throw it out there. Gyro. Euro, euro, euro gets tossed around a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

I always think about the who's on first in Greece, when the guy's ordering the gyro with the euro, he has to spend the euro with the euro. It's got to be some confusion there. How much for €? €3. €3. No, no. €3. You want. How many yodas you want? Three. Confusing, right? I think they. I think it's like if it's one of these things where no one knows how to pronounce it, even when I ask guys who work at the place how to pronounce it, you have to just spit it out as fast as you can, and then people die.

[Brian Bishop]

That's it. You want to get it done with quickly. It's the next ingredients that you want to focus on so that people could just forget about how you pronounce the first part.

[Harley Morenstein]

They should just rename it. There's too much work that goes into it.

[Adam Carolla]

Gyro. And the problem with the gyro part is it's on the vertical spit that's turning around. So it has a gyro.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I like that. Finally, there's sense attached to it. There's people watching. Right now it's gyro. Now it's gyro. It's official, starting now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Can I tell you a story of. Well, I don't use the word hero. I don't throw it around lightly. Except for when I'm ordering a Yoda. Yeah. But I went to the Zancu. I noticed you're enjoying some of my signature Mangria.

[Brian Bishop]

That sounds horrible.

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[Brian Bishop]

Mangria is his drink that he has.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not bad, though.

[Brian Bishop]

It's great. I love it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm happy to be here. Work that in one of your secret ingredients. I would gladly do that.

[Giovanni]

When you go to judge, that should be a secret ingredient.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. He should come over and get stoned at my house.

[Harley Morenstein]

I feel like you smoke a lot of pot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. We can't get pot here in the States.

[Brian Bishop]

Come on. No, but seriously, let's get some hash.

[Adam Carolla]

Hashish?

[Brian Bishop]

Hashish.

[Adam Carolla]

That means you're European when you do the hashish thing.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm not European, but I'm born Montreal, Canada, so that weird. Kind of like, you guys should be in Europe. Get the fuck out of here.

[Adam Carolla]

What. Can I ask what's going on in Montreal? I didn't feel, as an American. I didn't feel loved over there.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a reason why Canadians travel abroad and patch Canadian flags all over our shit. We don't want to be you. I want to be confused by you. And we're very, very easily confused.

[Adam Carolla]

You're confused for us.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, exactly. So when Canadians go out, they put Canadian flags.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the whole thing. Like, if you're traveling in Europe, you want a Canadian flag on your backpack, not an American flag.

[Brian Bishop]

Come to Canada and just not be American. Just be a Canadian for a day. You'll. You'll get much better.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if I could pull that off.

[Brian Bishop]

It's shitty.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I could get fucked up.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, lower your. Lower everything in your life just by that much more.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

23% be 23% less of the human that you are.

[Adam Carolla]

And I feel like I would. I would overcompensate with everything. Like, it'd be like a fucking Alan Thicke, man. He's a funny guy, isn't he's? Versatile, too. He can write a song. He's easy on the eyes. I'll tell you what. Easy on the eyes. That's a good show. That Growing Pains. Boy, that guy sounds horrible. What are you listening to? Normal. Yeah. Alanis Morissette, Brian Adams. Brian Adams and Ann Murray and the Guess who? All just mashed up. And that's some good bto. That's some good listening right there. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You would get lots of bitches if you did that.

[Adam Carolla]

Love bto. Yeah, love me some bto. I'd probably overcompensate. Just start talking too fast, and then it's probably saying, you know, a lot of people think I have an American accent. So funny.

[Brian Bishop]

No, we don't hear accents.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you don't?

[Brian Bishop]

It's weird. In Canada, we don't hear anything Australian. That's the only one. Everything else, you don't hear anything else talking.

[Harley Morenstein]

Wait, you can't tell that you speak differently than we do.

[Brian Bishop]

Is that. Am I. Do I sound different?

[Harley Morenstein]

You've gotten progressively more Canadian in 10 minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

You sound like Tom Green.

[Brian Bishop]

First of all, I enjoy Tom Green, so I'll take it as a compliment. However, I know a couple words That I say weird. Ham.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

How ugly is that?

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Brian Bishop]

It's like I can't even talk English.

[Adam Carolla]

Properly, and it's like one of your most important words.

[Brian Bishop]

But now I can. I can.

[Adam Carolla]

How do you say donkey?

[Brian Bishop]

Ham? Is that how you guys say it? Ham.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, ham. We try not to be ham.

[Brian Bishop]

Alice says, y'all gonna eat ham. And also when we say a, how Canadians like to do. Yep, I've noticed you guys say, huh, and no one ever calls you out, but I'd be like, you say, ah, so you're gonna eat ham, eh? You'll be like, y'all gonna eat ham, huh? That's what you guys sound like in Canada.

[Harley Morenstein]

You nailed us.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, real quick, real quick. I need to establish this. Canadian bacon in Canada is ham.

[Adam Carolla]

It's ham.

[Brian Bishop]

It's ham. Sorry. Canadian bacon. Is ham in Canada or back bacon?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, back bacon.

[Brian Bishop]

You guys always say Canadian bacon, and I always get shit like, oh, that's not Canadian bacon. That's, like real bacon. No, bacon is bacon in Canada. Only here do they call Canadian bacon something different. Ham.

[Adam Carolla]

We're not comfortable with the part of the pig that stuff comes from. We're not even. We're comfortable with the pig.

[Brian Bishop]

You don't like the pig ass?

[Adam Carolla]

We call it pork, you know? You know what I mean? Veal. We don't say baby helpless cow.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

We don't say that baby helpless cow is delicious. I do like. I do feel like other countries call a pig a pig.

[Harley Morenstein]

They do.

[Adam Carolla]

If you ever go to the Mexican butcher shop, outside has, like, Mr. Pig and he's wearing a monocle and.

[Harley Morenstein]

A top hat, and inside he's seven pound suckling pig. And they show him to you, and he's cute and you can eat him.

[Adam Carolla]

And he's like, wearing a bow tie. And then like, Mrs. Cow's chasing him with an axe. Like, they're like, hey, man. And if you go to, like, Chinatown stuff, they have the ducks just hanging upside down in the window and stuff.

[Harley Morenstein]

Heads and feet.

[Adam Carolla]

We like to just pretend the meat came from heaven somewhere. Like it wasn't part of it.

[Harley Morenstein]

Oh, as far as I know, I'm a vegetarian even though I eat meat.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we have a different name for every animal we eat. None of it's really just called it. I mean, even. Even deer is venison and stuff like that. What is the Canadians do you guys call it?

[Brian Bishop]

You wanna know?

[Adam Carolla]

Goose is the only thing we call goose.

[Brian Bishop]

We eat bear pie, like a piece made of bear. We Love that it's a bear.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like that more than a boner for 72 hours. I got.

[Giovanni]

I got.

[Adam Carolla]

Bear raging hard on right.

[Brian Bishop]

Now thinking about all the meat we eat. I love that they. I don't eat it. If you don't have a mother, I don't want to eat you. I want to know that you had a mom. You were birthed, you were a life. Why am I going to enjoy you if you don't have a soul? You know, I like to think that I'm consuming your soul.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Every Tuesday on YouTube. Epic.

[Adam Carolla]

Right time, right? You're talking about animals, not products of incest.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. No, I'm talking about bacon.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but so what? You guys have bear pie.

[Brian Bishop]

That's fucked up, right? You know how I know this is fun?

[Adam Carolla]

Bear pie sounds like a survivalist on the History Channel.

[Brian Bishop]

I pitched the epic Mail time TV show to people out here in Los Angeles. I was like, yeah, we're gonna take a bear and we're gonna like so like 11 squirrels on its back and stuff it with an octopus. And they were like, wait, wait, a bear?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, a bear.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't say you're gonna eat a bear. What do you mean? I'm like, you guys don't eat bear pie over here, right? And everyone looked at me like I was some fucked up crazy Canadian dude that didn't know what was real and not real and I should be sent back to Montreal and cast away forever. But truthfully, like, you know, we don't give a shit.

[Adam Carolla]

We have weird. We have a weird relationship with bears.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's so weird. I didn't even know it existed.

[Adam Carolla]

We're scared of them, but we would never admit. Admit to eating them.

[Brian Bishop]

It's on the flag.

[Adam Carolla]

It's on our flag.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's what I thought it was. I left. I was like. Cuz it's on the flag that they give a shit about that horrible animal.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, then they're not.

[Harley Morenstein]

I don't even know. You could eat bear.

[Brian Bishop]

You could eat whatever you want, girl.

[Harley Morenstein]

You can't eat polar bear.

[Brian Bishop]

You could eat polar bear if you wanted to kill. You don't tell your bear's fingernails. If I wanted to.

[Adam Carolla]

He can't eat something.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, tell me that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Giovanni]

That was Adam Krullishow 993. Coming up for our final clip today we have Adam Krullishow 1448. The great Norman Lear, Alison Rosen, Brian Bishop, 2014.

[Adam Carolla]

All in the family is one of these shows that I reference all the time in the new Hollywood system, where you're attempting to do a sitcom and they go, everyone has to be likable. This guy's not likable. And I go, Carroll O'Connor was not likable. Archie Bunker was not likable. He was funny as shit, but he wasn't likable. And I literally had an executive go, listen, we know that him and Meathead argued, but we also knew that if Meathead was ever in the hospital, Archie would be the first one by his bedside. And I said, no, he wouldn't. He didn't even like the guy. And I don't know if today's system is driving you nuts or what was different about the old system that you could do something. There was an audience testing.

[F]

I thought he was a human being, and that automatically included being lovable to some degree and to some people and some people not. But I always thought of him as lovable in the sense that his daughter could count on him.

[Adam Carolla]

But do you. I guess what I'm getting at is I come from a very liberal group, and when I was young, we would watch all in the Family, and my super liberal mom would look at him and go, what a buffoon. What a cartoon character. You know, what a clown he is. But she wouldn't be offended by him. She looked at him as a buffoon, and she would laugh with him because.

[F]

There was something lovable about him.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but I don't feel like he's a human being. I don't feel like we could make that sitcom today because we'd have to make him super likable all the time. He couldn't be that good.

[F]

The guys and gals that are doing shows right now, the showrunners, they tell me you couldn't do it today. And they attempt to do some of the things that we did subject wise, and they can't do it. Yeah, so you're right about that.

[Adam Carolla]

They would take Carroll O'Connor and they would round off the sharp edges, and they'd make him just a little more sort of universally friendly. And he would not. He'd be just a big blob odor.

[F]

You know, Matt and Trey at south park wanted to do Archie, and they did them as a little kid, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But I'm basically talking about, you know, the big three, as it were.

[Giovanni]

You could do that stuff on Comedy Central or the, you know, cable channels.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's weird that we've regressed in a certain way. But you want to talk about shows that hold up. And also, as somebody who came From a poor family that was pretty depressed. I liked watching the Jeffersons and Sanford and Son. It made me feel better about my lot in life versus watching the Partridge Family or the Brady Bunch, which always made me depressed.

[F]

Well, you may be articulating something we don't. I haven't heard a lot, but there may be a very significant inner truth in that. That an awful lot of Caucasians watched it because it helped them feel better than they had they felt they had any right to feel when they weren't watching it.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I did. Like, I would see them. I'd see Good Times, and I would go, all right, they're a little poorer than we are, and they live in a crappier place than we do. We're poor, and we live in a crappier place. But when I would see the Brady Bunch in their big house and their shiny car and everyone intact and happy and together, it would depress me. So, in a way, you did a service. And Maude depressed me a little bit, too. But then Adrienne Barbeau came down those stairs, and I perked up.

[F]

How about Thelma in Good Times?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, she was pretty good. Yeah, Thelma was pretty good, too. But Adrian Barbeau at 26 coming down those stairs in a tight sweater. Yeah, I woke up in a hurry.

[F]

Now she's in the car at 26 waiting for you. This show's over.

[Adam Carolla]

That'd be. So I had one of my. I think I had one of my earliest erotic dreams about Adrienne Barbeau, which was, we're at a mall, and I tried to grab her booby, and she yelled at me. And then I told her we were in a dream. It didn't matter. And she still yelled at me. Next story. So you and this. I didn't know you flew in a B17 Flying Fortress. I did 52 combat missions.

[F]

I went over. When we went over, we were on a mission basis, and that is some flights. We got credit for two missions because we were in the air that long. Sometimes we didn't even drop bombs. And we got credit for a mission because we were in the air that long. Then they got on a sortie basis. A sortie basis was every time you dropped bombs.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[F]

So I was in a plane and dropped bombs 33 times and flew 52 missions. I use the 52 because I'm an American, and that's what we do.

[Adam Carolla]

What did you. Where did you drop those bombs?

[F]

Over Germany.

[Adam Carolla]

And that was. The Flying Fortress is closer to B17. B17 closer to the End of the war.

[F]

What year would that have been for 1943 and 4?

[Adam Carolla]

There wasn't much you could do that was more dangerous than that in the campaign back then, was there?

[F]

Well, I suspect if you were in the infantry and you were seeing battle.

[Adam Carolla]

Service, but initially, when they had the, you know, Memphis Belle sort of thing, you can get to 25, you know, and no one got to 25. I mean, they were doing daylight bombings. They didn't have fighter escorts with that kind of range. I don't think the Mustang was around, or at least the Mustang with the drop tanks. And you guys were going out unescorted in the daylight and just getting shredded.

[F]

And then the P51s with the red tails, the Tuskegee guys came along.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[F]

And they flew so close to us and they. I think about the Tuskegee Airmen. I often think about a trio of. Gosh, now I'm trying to remember the black dancers, the Something brothers. And they were fabulous.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[F]

I remember flying and thinking watching the Tuskegee guys dip and dance and flip and come in so close and go over the bomb run with us. Which they didn't have to do. They weren't called on to do that, but they did. And it used to remind me of.

[Adam Carolla]

The something or other brothers I could. We'll figure it out. They're black, they're brothers, and they tap dance, I think.

[F]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And how. Flew through the air. Yeah. Narrowed it down to 250 million guys.

[Harley Morenstein]

It's like Sabian, Glover.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was something like that. They both their brothers, amazing tap artists in the 30s.

[F]

Nicholas Brothers.

[Adam Carolla]

Got it.

[F]

The Nicholas Brothers.

[Adam Carolla]

So the idea. And if you guys could imagine this, I mean, you know, when you're flying in Southwest, you hit a little turbulence as you're going into Vegas, and your kind of stomach jumps up in your mouth. Imagine, Flack. I mean, imagine you're flying and people are on the ground trying to shoot you down. And in the air. Trying to shoot you down in Messerschmitting in the air.

[F]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And your plane is skinned with aluminum, and when they open up on you, the bullets just go right through. They go right through the plane. I mean, there's. They don't. I don't even know if they would slow down how. That had to be the most nerve wracking experience in the world.

[F]

It's like an afternoon in somebody else's life for me, or a chapter in somebody else's book. It's hard to remember it all. I mean, I remember it clearly. A lot of it but emotionally it's really hard to connect.

[Adam Carolla]

You must have been so young. How old were you?

[F]

I was 20, 21.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not the kind of thing I don't think you can get 40 year olds to do that job.

[F]

Here's what I've often thought. We live lives end on end and lives within lives. I lived a life in kindergarten, I lived a life in the first grade. I lived a life with my parents. I lived a life in high school, the chemistry class, the debating class. By the time I had to get into that plane, I'd lived so many lives that I don't think any of them. I didn't think I was going to now live one that was going to end. They never ended. They just one followed the other. So that's the secret, I think. I didn't think. No matter who died, no matter how many planes didn't come back, I couldn't believe it was going to be me.

[Adam Carolla]

What was the closest scrape you had or the time that you saw some planes go down around you or bullets flying?

[F]

What comes to mind quickly is my best friend who was a radio operator on another plane. Jimmy Edwards was his name. And we trained together and we flew over together. We flew on each other's wing. And the first time we were set to fly, we get up in the morning and we happened to have breakfast. Well, it didn't happen to. We saw to it, we had breakfast together. But then we each had to go to the john, this long row of.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're flying out of England, right?

[F]

No, Foggia, Italy.

[Adam Carolla]

Flying out of Italy.

[F]

15Th Air Force out of Foggia, Italy. We met the 8th Air Force Flying out of London, out of England, but we flew out of Italy. And the second time, and the flight was canceled. The second time we were due to fly, we already a tiny bit suspicious or maybe it happened accidentally, but we sat down again after breakfast. And then the third time, it was really a superstition. The fifth time or sixth time when we really took off and flew the very first mission, we were rushing from the commissary to the johns to the latrine, which was just a hole in the ground, but there were like 30 of them. And a lieutenant stopped us and said, where are you going? We're going to the john, get on the jeep, we're going to the flight line. Couldn't talk a minute. We just wanted to just touch down. Jimmy didn't come back. It was our first mission, I think it was Frankfurt and his plane went down. So that was the. It happened on the very first mission. And that was the roughest time I remember.

[Giovanni]

All right, that's adam Kolla show 1448 with the great Norman Lear. That does it for today's Corolla classics. Until tomorrow, mahalo and get it on.

[Adam Carolla]

Have you noticed the way we use our phones are ironic? I mean, phones are supposed to be for communication, but we look at them more and more than we look at each other. That's ironic. That's what I'm saying. So U.S. cellular created U.S. mode to help us reconnect. It helps us use phones a little less. Ironically, a phone company wanting people to use their phones less ironic. Let's find US again with US mode from US Cellular. Visit uscellular.com built for us to get started.

[Harley Morenstein]

No offense, but your brain is a terrible place to keep your big idea. It belongs in the world. But you know that already. You have a calling, a voice that says this is what I'm meant to do. Create the website your big idea deserves with wix. Make it your own with top to bottom customization, AI to help realize your vision and built in business tools to turn your daydream into your dream job. WIX supports every stage of the business journey except one. Your decision to begin. Ready? Go to wix.com.