Paget Brewster on Hollywood’s Changes, Rude Culture & Adam’s DEI Rant

Summary

Adam Carolla Show
Episode: Paget Brewster on Hollywood’s Changes, Rude Culture & Adam’s DEI Rant
Date: March 26, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this candid, wide-ranging episode, Adam Carolla welcomes actress Paget Brewster for an unfiltered conversation about Hollywood’s evolving landscape, shifts in social norms, the state of American civility, DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) mandates, and culture wars. The episode features Adam’s signature rants, sharp humor, insightful back-and-forth with Brewster, and tangents into everything from ‘airport fights’ to diversity trainings, societal changes, and why some jokes are still off-limits. The episode also touches on politics, California’s election battles, celebrity culture, and the problem with late-night TV. Brewster and Carolla’s rapport offers both nostalgia and provocative takes on today’s issues.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reconnecting & Hollywood Nostalgia

[00:57–04:46]

• Adam and Paget reminisce about their early days, including her time on Friends and past Loveline appearances.
  • Paget recalls Adam's kindness and help with power tool advice post-breakup:

    "You emailed for a couple of weeks... wanting nothing in return. You are such a gentleman and so kind." (Paget, [01:52])

• They reflect on how streaming lets new generations enjoy shows like Friends or The Office, which didn’t exist for previous generations.
  • Adam:

    "I can say to my son, have you seen Defending Your Life by Albert Brooks? ...You can just watch it tonight as if it came out yesterday." ([05:10])

2. Changes in Social Norms & Civility

[06:40–12:21]

• Discuss how there’s no longer a defining societal “look,” and how casualness (like sweatpants at airports) correlates with a decline in manners and civility.
  • Adam:

    "It brought in a kind of civility that sweatpants don’t... I think there’s more fights at the airport because people are wearing sweatpants versus suits." ([08:20])

  • Paget:

    "There has been a little bit of a loss of manners... We should just all be nice to each other." ([09:31])

3. The Rise in Public Conflict, Especially by Women

[10:01–13:55]

• Adam notes the explosion of women in public, physical confrontations—especially viral airplane/airport fights.
  • "Women are now throwing down maybe more than men." (Adam, [20:10])
• They debate intervention tactics, with Brewster arguing it’s harder to deescalate women at peak emotion.
  • Adam:

    "I've told some guys to calm down and had some success, but I've never told a woman to calm down and had success... When you tell women to calm down, they ratchet." ([12:21])

4. Role Modeling, Mimetic Behavior & Social Media’s Influence

[22:24–27:06]

• Carolla uses examples like Bannister’s four-minute mile and Tony Hawk’s stunts to illustrate how seeing “forbidden” behaviors makes them contagious.
  • "As humans, we see people do stuff and then we go, ‘Oh, okay, it was like formerly not something we did and now we do.'" ([22:55])
• Social media amplifies problematic behavior by providing models for imitation, particularly for young women regarding fighting.

5. On the Percentage of Troublemakers in Society

[27:06–31:18]

• Adam and Paget agree most people are good; a very small percentage cause outsized trouble, including repeat offenders.
  • Paget:

    "I think 10% of the population is unhinged, selfish, cruel, psychotic." ([27:38])

• Carolla describes his “wallet drop” radio experiment to show honesty is still the norm ([29:49]).

6. DEI Trainings, Liability, and the ‘Punishment’ of the Masses

[34:43–38:46]

• Adam rants about mandatory workplace DEI/harassment trainings, likening them to DUI penalties for non-offenders.
  • "There is no history of me ever sexually harassing anybody. Why do I have to go to the thing?" ([35:21])
• Paget explains these are legal cover for organizations, not actually effective education.
  • "It's just so the studio... doesn't have to pay a personal injury lawsuit." ([35:52])
• Adam criticizes the condescension and rules around office compliments.
  • "You can't say anything about someone's appearance... It's all considered microaggressions and abusive." (Paget, [37:04])

7. Identity, Description, and Logic in Diversity Policies

[38:54–41:34]

• Adam shares a humorous incident at a DEI training, pointing out the logical inconsistency of banning suspect descriptions (e.g., race) but not others (e.g., male).
  • "How come we're allowed to say he's male? I'm male. I don't want to be lumped in..." ([40:13])

8. Fashion, Dickies, and Merkins – Societal Oddities

[43:01–47:57]

• The conversation detours into humorous observations about vintage fashion accessories (dickies, merkins, spats); how certain conventions evolve from function to ornament or absurdity.
  • Paget on merkins:

    "It’s a dickie for your dicky, essentially." ([45:23])

9. The Problem with ‘Free Lunch’ Programs & Parental Responsibility

[80:26–84:11]

• Adam critiques political ads promoting “free lunch” programs, arguing there's no such thing as free (it’s all taxpayer-funded), and problematizing the narrative of hungry children amidst obesity rates.
  • "There's no such thing as a free lunch. Somebody pays for the lunch." ([85:56])
  • Paget lifts on real world examples of systems gamed for profit.

10. Rants on California DEI Debates & Election Cancellations

[75:13–80:26]

• The show covers a gubernatorial debate cancelled over lack of “diversity,” with Adam labeling outrage as misplaced, favoring merit-based selection.
  • "They’re DEI idiots. That’s how we get Mayor Bass." ([79:26])
• Adam also references LA’s long history of black and Hispanic leaders as counters to current narratives.

11. Media & Hollywood Culture Shift

[67:23–74:38]

• Adam reacts to Vince Vaughn’s criticism of late-night TV needing more authenticity, blaming Hollywood insularity and booking for ideological sameness.
  • Vaughn (clip):

    "People want authenticity... talk shows became really agenda based... It stopped being funny and it started feeling like I was in a class I didn’t want to take." ([68:03])

• Carolla:
  > "If you get up there and start talking about stuff that these guys don’t like, you don’t get this person (guest/bookings)." ([69:31])

12. Comedy’s Limits & Selective Outrage

[94:27–99:16]

• Segment on Belgian journalists smashing Christian but not Islamic symbols—because only the latter carries real personal risk.
  • "You’re fucking scared. Exactly." (Adam, [96:28])
• Comic Mark Normand’s Netflix story: Netflix execs want to remove a Muslim joke from social clips but not the special itself due to fear of viral backlash.
  • Normand:

    "I want you to admit on this call that there are dangerous people... we’re not gonna do that... That’s offensive." ([98:07])

13. Personal Responsibility vs. Corporate Liability

[89:15–93:55]

• Adam on the lawsuit against Meta/Google for ‘addictive’ design:
  • "Doritos are not made for you to have one... they’re engineered. At some point, you’re going to have to be in charge of yourself." ([89:50])
• Rant about the broader tendency to shift blame onto companies for personal decisions and self-control.

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Memorable Quotes

• Paget Brewster [01:52]: "You are such a gentleman and so kind. So I'm so glad I get to tell you that."
• Adam Carolla [08:20]: "It brought in a kind of civility that sweatpants don’t... I think there’s more fights at the airport because people are wearing sweatpants versus suits."
• Adam Carolla [12:21]: "When you tell women to calm down, they ratchet. That’s an insult."
• Paget Brewster [27:38]: "I think 10% of the population is unhinged, selfish, cruel, psychotic."
• Adam Carolla [35:21]: "There is no history of me ever sexually harassing anybody. Why do I have to go to the thing?"
• Paget Brewster [35:52]: "It's just so the studio... doesn't have to pay a personal injury lawsuit."
• Vince Vaughn [68:03]: "People want authenticity... talk shows became really agenda based... It stopped being funny and it started feeling like I was in a class I didn’t want to take."
• Adam Carolla [85:56]: "There’s no such thing as free lunch. Somebody pays for the lunch."
• Mark Normand [98:07]: "I want you to admit on this call that there are dangerous people... we’re not gonna do that... That’s offensive."

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Segment Timestamps

| Time | Segment / Topic | |-----------|-----------------| | 00:57–04:46 | Adam & Paget Reconnect / Hollywood Stories | | 06:40–12:21 | Civility, Airport Fights, Social Norms | | 13:20–14:55 | Conflict De-escalation, Gender Dynamics | | 22:24–27:06 | Mimetic Behavior / Social Media Fights | | 27:06–31:18 | Percentage of Troublemakers in Society | | 34:43–38:46 | DEI Training & Workplace Liability | | 38:54–41:34 | Description/Identity Policies | | 43:01–47:57 | Dickies, Merkins, Fashion Oddities | | 75:13–80:26 | CA Debate Cancelled for DEI / Political Outrage | | 80:26–85:56 | "Free" Lunch Programs & Parental Responsibility | | 67:23–74:38 | Hollywood, Late-Night, Authenticity – Vince Vaughn | | 94:27–99:16 | Jokes Off-Limits / Comedy and Double Standards | | 89:15–93:55 | Corporate Liability vs. Personal Responsibility |

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Notable/Amusing Moments

• Adam’s “street fight” story: Adam recounts picking up a random ringing phone in a Palm Springs hotel room that led to a fistfight with two strangers—out of sheer boredom ([17:31–19:40]).
• Dickie/Merkin Deep Dive: Hilarious exploration of outdated fashion accessories and societal quirks ([43:01–47:57]).
• Adam’s “wallet drop” honesty experiment: Proves most people are still basically honest ([29:49]).
• DEI Training Mutiny: Adam admits to derailing a DEI seminar, despite instructing his team not to engage ([40:13]).
• Mark Normand v. Netflix: Normand’s demand for executives to admit, on tape, the real reason for their censorship ([98:07]).

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Tone and Style

The episode’s tone is playful, irreverent, and unfiltered—true to Adam Carolla’s brand. He and Brewster alternate between good-natured nostalgia, sharp societal criticism, and biting satire. The banter is authentic and casual, with plenty of forays into absurdity and cranky rants, but also sincerity and reflection. Debates are underpinned by mutual respect and comic timing.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show provides a thorough glimpse into America’s cultural shifts, as seen through the eyes of two outspoken, observant entertainers. While the humor is biting, the conversation is thoughtful, often reflecting on the contradiction and complexity of today’s world—from cancel culture to TikTok brawls, from DEI policies to the loss of common decency, and the eternal search for authenticity.

Whether you’re nostalgic for “old Hollywood,” frustrated by modern bureaucracy, or just in need of a strong laugh at society’s expense, this episode delivers both the laughs and the reflection.

Transcript

[A]

Padgett Brewster, great actress, is gonna join me today. Oh, God, we go way back, me and her. Also, news with Dawson and we'll do that after this. Thanks for tuning into the Adam Carolla Show. You can watch the full show on YouTube just search Adam Carolla show and hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also get the podcast wherever you like to listen and and for extra content, ad free episodes and more, you can head over to our substack and sign up today.

[B]

From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, actress Padgett Brewster. Plus the news with me, Mike Dawson and now Adam Carolla.

[A]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. But to get it on mandate. Get it on. Padgett Brewster back after all these years. Touch Me is the name of the movie. Very good. Limited theater run. And I'll give you some more details about that on Demand coming up. April 7th. Man, it's been a while, hasn't it, Padgett?

[C]

It has. I can't believe you remember. You've met everyone.

[A]

Well, it's true. And to be fair, super fan Giovanni sent me a note and he said, don't forget Padgett was on Loveline a couple times and she's a fan favorite. Like, you guys had a good time?

[C]

Oh, I had the best time with you. And I'm so glad you said that because it was in 2001. That was the last time I saw you on Loveline.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

And I had just broken up with my boyfriend, who was living all alone in this house I bought. And. And I asked you for help on what power tools I should buy, and you emailed for a couple of weeks. You were sending me the power tools that I needed to DIY fix up this ancient 1920s house and wanting nothing in return. You are such a gentleman and so kind. So I'm so glad I get to tell you that.

[A]

Wow, that felt nice. Because I have a vague recollection now that you bring it up, but I would never think about that. But it's interesting. I really enjoy sharing knowledge with people about things I know about. I really enjoy it. And I'm always surprised that more people don't avail themselves of it. Like, more people don't stop older dudes who know stuff and go, hey, man, tell me about this. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah, no, me too. But sometimes the way people do it is lording their information over you and proving a point for their own ego as opposed to just Genuinely wanting to help. And that's why it was such a profound experience for me that you were so kind and excited to. Oh, this is what you need if you're going to be doing your own electrical and are you grouting? Do you grout? Okay, this is. It was so kind and lovely and. Yeah, I wish more people were like you. That's all I'm saying.

[A]

Oh, man. That should be the name of my next book. So, Pat, you've pretty much just been acting your entire adult life. I mean, when did you get started?

[C]

I got started being paid to act. I think in 19. I moved here. I moved to Los Angeles in 1996 and I got a pilot with Dana Gould. I was 27 years old. That was back when people had production deals.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Remember, like development deals, sitcoms. Everything was sitcoms. It was great. So I'd done theater in San Francisco, but I'd never. I did a public access show in San Francisco where I made botulism and shot like stop action, you know, Barbie videos. But it was getting a development deal in LA shortly after I moved here and then I guess starred on Friends for six episodes.

[A]

Oh, that.

[C]

And was just lucky. I just. It was the right time.

[A]

Friends puts you into another stratosphere, right?

[C]

Oh, it's crazy how it's been rediscovered too, by people in their 20s. They love it.

[A]

My 19 year old twins watch Friends. You know, they've watched the Office. I mean, you know, because we're living in a time where, you know, when I was a kid, if there was some feature, I mean, you could watch I Love Lucy and you could watch the Honeymooners and the Green Acres or something, but there wasn't much good art. There were films that were good, that were before your time, but you needed a projector to show them. You know what I mean? I can say to my son, have you seen Defending youg Life by Albert Brooks? And he'll go, no. And I'll go, oh, you're gonna love that movie. You can just watch it tonight as if it came out yesterday.

[C]

Yeah, we did not have that when we were kids.

[A]

Well, also From Black and White to Color gave it a timestamp which made it look like old World War II footage. Right. Where the thing about when you watch World War II footage, it's like it's real, but it doesn't land as real in your mind because it's old and black and white. You know what I mean? Same way. So now we're gonna have a weird thing in the future where everyone's in color and everything's high def and you're gone for 100 years, but your color and high def exist on a chip, you know what I mean? Which is it's nice so they can enjoy Friends in a way that we couldn't really enjoy the Honeymooners. We could watch it, but we weren't really there, you know?

[C]

Yeah. We knew it was not of our time.

[A]

Right, right.

[C]

And so do your kids feel like Friends is contemporary to them? Do they feel or do they look at it as like, oh, that's the late 90s, 2000s.

[A]

I think they could probably pick up. I mean, let's break it down maybe a little with the ladies hairstyles, a little bit, like, not really with the gu that much. Probably same hair. Maybe a little with the kind of color palette, how the apartments were decorated, but not really either. Maybe a little with the clothing. I don't know. Did Central Perk look any different then than it would if you opened it this afternoon?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No.

[C]

I mean, it would be designed industrially. I don't even know what is.

[A]

Right. So, like, when we were watching I Love Lucy, the guys had, you know, pomade in their hair and were wearing fedoras and ties, suspenders and suspenders.

[C]

Annabelle, they had separate beds from their wife.

[A]

So there was much to bump you. There is no bumping anymore. Cause everybody. There is no hairstyle. There is no uniform. Some guys wear hats, some guys don't. There was no. You have to do this anymore.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Which is. I don't know. What do you think of that?

[C]

Do you think the fact that we don't have a defining look currently.

[A]

Well, yes. And I'll preload it by saying, like, when you see pictures from the ballpark, from the 30s or the 40s, and every guy's wearing a tie and a hat, it brought in a kind of civility that sweatpants don't. You know what I mean? I think there's more fights at the airport because people are wearing sweatpants versus suits.

[C]

As opposed to dressing up for Zeppelin travel.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And a rolling roast beef cart in the plane.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[C]

I don't know. Here's what I think, though. And this is. I think for the fortunate few, everything was very civil. Everything was very civilized. Everyone was on the same side. There wasn't as much political upset and divide as there is now. And I think the people who make all the money are squishing other people into smaller and smaller spaces. Literally, on an airplane, you have less and less space. And I think people. Yeah, they're wearing sweatpants, flip flops, which is. That's just unsanitary.

[A]

In a. I agree.

[C]

Airplane bathroom. But it feels like people are being squeezed and manipulated. And so that's why there are more fights. It feels like everyone's outraged by the news or they want, you know, this is my space. You respect me. And there. There has been a little bit of a loss of manners, which is. Which is sad because we should just all be nice to each other.

[A]

Well, first off, we have a new thing, which is women joining the fight, which is half the population that never existed. When I was a kid, women did not throw down. They just didn't. And if they did, it was an exquisite novelty to see women fight and a pleasure as well. They now fight.

[C]

So it seems like every airplane fight is a female.

[A]

Right? So basically, if you just did a math equation, you'd go, look, this is a population. Let's just say back in the day, sake of argument, 200 million Americans, right? Okay, half or a little bit more than half are women. Okay, well, they don't fight. Okay, so remove them from the group of people who can fight. Now there's 100 million people left to fight, and those are dudes. Well, now there's 350 million people, and all of them can fight or will fight or have fought. And so it's all of a sudden there's a lot more potential for fighting, especially on the airplanes. Yet I love the airplane fight.

[C]

I don't know why I do watch them. I shouldn't. I think I watching it like you'd watch a car crash aftermath just to see, like, what mistakes were made here. How do I avoid an airplane fight? At what point do you realize there's no turning back, the cops are coming and you need to get out of the way?

[A]

I like there's two kinds of positions you can have. You can physically get involved yourself with the airline fight, or you can just sit there and stare at your lap and pretend nothing is ever happening. Or you can verbally get involved, but you can see the irate woman. If you yell something, sometimes there'll be some dude like four rows back and he'll go sit down. And then you'll see him turn and go, oh, you shut up. Now it's all on the dude who piped up, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think the best plan is just to stare at your lap. And I have a question.

[C]

Can you think of any way. Do you think there's a way to intervene and de escalate a person who's already at that emotional level.

[A]

I'll tell you this at the risk of sounding douchey. I've told some guys to calm down and had some success, but I've never told a woman to calm down and had success. When you tell women to calm down, they ratchet. They.

[C]

That's.

[A]

That's an insult. So you're right. Right. So I've been in many an argument with a. With a woman who was vehemently argument about something, and I've tried the okay, just calm down. And that's met with. That's met with more. Sometimes a guy, you can pull it off, but they're usually in some fugue state. Maybe they've had a few drinks, maybe there's some pharmaceuticals going through them. Whatever it is, they've ripped. They pulled the pin on the grenade, and you're not really getting it back in. It's now zip ties and duct tape time. You know what I mean? It's time for guys with windbreakers with zip ties to enter this plane.

[C]

That might be a very accurate assessment, because when I was bartending on the Lower east side in New York, I would operate as the bouncer to stop fights because it was always two guys fighting. And if I stood in between them and was the arbiter of the any more boos they were going to get, then they wouldn't fight because it was like, oh, I'm not going to hit a woman. I'm not going to. And it gave them an excuse to go, all right, all right, all right, all right, and back up. So being a different gender was the crux of how that worked.

[A]

Yeah. Guys understand as well that another guy could potentially harm them. Even though there's a lot of bravado at the time and a lot of tough talk, you still kind of realize the person standing in front of you is £200 and could potentially hurt you. And also with guys, they might have some training. Maybe the guy's an MMA guy, maybe the guy's an ex Marine, like, he may know something, and there could be an issue here. And so guys who challenge other guys to fight or who get in each other's faces, 72% of them would like this to not be a fight, but they can't say it. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

So I think that's why, yeah, it was effective to be a woman and get in between them.

[A]

Right. When you walk up and go, come on, guys, let's just de escalate here. The guys were leaved, I think.

[C]

Yeah. Because it Means neither one of them has to fight. And they, in the moment that they're about to fight, they realize, I don't know this person's skills, training ability, weaponry.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Of course you'd be scared. Have you ever been like rushed in a bar or have you ever had anyone like the chest smash try to fight you?

[A]

Every fight, the street fight, we'll just term it a street fight. I have been in, which has been a couple have been brought on by me saying I don't want to fight. That always makes the other person want to fight. Oh. So they look at that as a weakness, you know, and that will bring on, that will bring on the fight. I'm only laughing because what am I more famous street brawls was me. This is insane. By the way. My son, my 19 year old son would never do that. I walked into a cabana. Now it was a room in Palm Springs. Everyone would go to Palm Springs for spring break. Lots of drunken 18, 19, 20 year olds wandering around. And I was, we never had money to stay at a nice hotel or anything, but we would go to the hotel that had the pool scene and have fun, right? And I was walking around and they had these rooms that were off the side of the pool on a pathway and like the door was just open and I just like wandered in maybe looking for a beer or something. And the phone rang. And by law, back in the day when any phone rang, you had to pick it up. Payphones, people would just pick up a payphone. If you're standing next to a payphone, like what are the chances is it's for you? I don't know, but you just pick it up. I picked up the phone and I just go, hello. And some guy on the other line, he goes like where's Julie? You know? And I go, oh, I don't know, I'm just wandered in, I'm just hanging out, you know. And he goes, you put that Julie on, put her on now. And I'm like, I don't know who Julie is because I just walked in and he goes, you put Julie on right now or I'm coming over there and I'm gonna beat your. And I was so bored that I said, come over and I'll be here.

[C]

Oh my.

[A]

And I hung the phone up.

[C]

And you waited.

[A]

I waited. That's how bored I was. And he showed up. Well, two guys showed up.

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Were they grown ups or were they your same age that because you're a kid.

[A]

They were 19.

[C]

Yeah, they were kids too.

[A]

Yeah. They were young. Yeah. No, they weren't in their 60s. But they could cause damage because they were like. He came walking the room and he goes, you the douchebag who picked up the phone? And I said, yeah. He goes, well, come outside so I can give you your beating. I was like, okay. And we walked out to the pathway in front of this bungalow.

[C]

And we fought fist fights. He took a swing. You took a swing?

[A]

I knocked him out or down or whatever, because I used to box. And then his friend came at me. And then I knocked him out or down. And then they both were just down. And then I said, you guys gotta get some ice on that. Cause it's gonna swell up. And then they got up and left. And that was it.

[C]

Did you have any. Did any of your friends witness this?

[A]

No, I was just wandering around. There's nobody around.

[C]

It's a very successful street fight.

[A]

Well, it was successful for me. I don't know whose room it was or who Julie was. To this day, I don't know any of that stuff. But I was really. It was really out of boredom, essentially.

[C]

Well, that's how kids get into all kinds of trouble.

[A]

I know. The devil makes work for those idle hands.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. It was sort of a goo for me. I don't know. I wasn't scared of stuff. I kind of knew how to box. And I was like, there's a good chance whoever shows up is not going to know how to box. Maybe they're a little drunk, you know. I don't know. It was dumb. I shouldn't have picked up the phone. I shouldn't have waited, you know, I shouldn't have done any of that stuff.

[C]

These are all a series of choices that add up to a great story. And they threatened you. So if they came and got knocked out, that's on them.

[A]

Oh, yeah, it's all on them. I guess the guy's friend tried to get involved too, you know, so it's all that's unsportsmanlike. The Marquis of Queensbury would not be happy to see that his friend joined the fracas. So, yeah, women are now throwing down maybe more than men.

[C]

I think it seems like that if you watch Customer wars or Neighborhood wars, it really, it seems skewed female. And listen, maybe that gets more advertisers.

[A]

The one I don't mind. There's certain fighting I will condone. Like Palm Springs spring break fighting. That's a noble kind of pursuit. But there is a kind of fighting where people Go to, like, popeyes chicken or McDonald's, and they're out of, like, Honey Ranch dipping sauce. And you're gonna throw hands because the person behind the counter who makes $11 an hour, by the way, is out of dipping sauce. They're not in charge of ordering dipping sauce.

[C]

But that's not what the fight's about. If you start smashing up the inside of a waffle House because they're out of hot honey mustard, it's because you've got a host of other things going on in your life that have pushed you to that point where you feel the universe doesn't respect you. And I think. Have you ever been so angry you saw red?

[A]

No, but I've definitely done the throw the thing or punched a wall or done that. That kind of thing. Yeah.

[C]

And something else motivated that.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's always an accumulation, you know, it's never just the one thing, but. And for sure, there's no doubt that these people have problems. There's no doubt, but. And that there's, you know, this accumulation of things. It's an ongoing thing. But to really, like, jump over a counter and try to choke someone who doesn't give you dipping sauce, that's kind of insane.

[C]

Yeah, it is. At least a temporary loss of sanity. I'm not excusing it. I'm not saying that should be a criminal defense. It seems like that's happening a lot because now we have television shows that cull footage from people's cell phones and put it on tv. And I watch it. I watch Neighborhood Wars. I watch Customer Wars.

[A]

I'm wondering, is there an element of this? Let's see if we can break our society down. And here's an example I use. I'll screw up the number a little bit. But as a society, there were just kind of things we didn't do. And then we saw somebody doing it. And then we started doing it. Like we saw Michael Jordan dunk the basketball the way he did. And now there's high school basketball players who can do that.

[C]

Dunks. Yeah.

[A]

But they weren't there before my example. Two examples. Bannister, I think his name was the Four Minute Mile. Nobody was ever going to break the four minute mile in track and field. And then Bannister, I think his name was bannister, broke the four minute mile. And then it got broke 10 times in the next four months. We just needed to see one guy do it. You know what I mean? And then we did it. And Tony Hawk did the first, like, half pipe, 780 or 760 or whatever it was. And that was a move that they thought was undoable. And then two weeks later a 13 year old did it. And now everyone does it. So as humans, we see people do stuff and then we go, oh, okay, it was like formally not something we did and now we do. So no one formally threw punches at an airport or on an airplane, but now somebody did it and we do. I mean, there's an element of that.

[C]

True, but would you say that it's all physical? Because it's not like people are curing, are coming up with different forms of penicillin since Jonas Sock, would you say? Because we are essentially, we are the children of apes. Right. We still don't have the missing link, but we were primates and primates. One monkey sees another monkey washing its fruit in the sea and now they have salt. And so we do mimic other behavior. We do. I think just that's part of the human condition. Do you think it's mostly physical as opposed to cerebral, like, because you have to see a person doing it.

[A]

I think there's an element of, you know, we always talk about role models and inspirations, you know, and people will go, you know, I was not thinking I could play the quarterback position because I'm a black man and it's the 70s. But then I turned on the TV and I saw Ron Harris playing it or whatever the Rams play and he's black and he's playing quarterback. And that's when I realized I could be. There's a sort of. That we can be inspired. We can also watch the story of a serial killer and go, I'd like to get into that.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

We can go both directions with our inspiration. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Okay, I will give you this. I think it's possible that once social media was around and women, specifically young women, and I'm guessing seeing young women fight, they thought, oh, I can do that. Yeah, that is a possibility. That, oh, now the gloves are off. I can prove I'm courageous or strong or intimidating or powerful or I'm a leader in my high school.

[A]

If I. I don't think it's that deep. I just think it's. You saw it and it's like, okay, I mean, sort of like, I don't know, people filming themselves having sex, you know what I mean? Would've been sort of unthinkable. And now it's like a little bit pedestrian and, you know, maybe it's Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, we have to thank for this or something. But it's just stuff that was no big. Well, okay. Like fucking around with a cop. I'll see people pushing cops and dumping buckets of water on their head and stuff. It's like, I wouldn't go near a cop when I was young.

[C]

Yeah. But also, have you made your own? I mean, I've seen amateur porn. I don't make it. I mean, I'm not. Oh, so they did it. Hey, Steve, let's we. I don't do that. I haven't done it, but I've seen it, so. Well, we're not.

[A]

I don't fight at airports either, or jump on cop car hoods. But all we need is a small percentage of people to engage, to be inspired. You know, that's true.

[C]

But that is. That is who it is, though. It is, I believe, a small percentage.

[A]

Oh, listen, it's always a small percentage. But as I used to say to Dr. Drew all the time, if just 5% of our population decided to hit the streets and start burning things and killing people, it'd be total bedlam. I mean, it'd take way less than 5% to engage in this behavior, and our society would come undone. You know what I mean?

[C]

Do you think so? Do you. What about. Do you think. Okay, so if you say. Let's just say, let's go low, let's say 70% of the population are good, hardworking, thoughtful, caring people just trying to get by and do the right thing, and they care about their kids and their parents and their family. You think they would not step in? Do you think the 5% or the 10%? I think it's 10%. I think 10% of the population is unhinged, selfish, cruel, psychotic.

[A]

Well, most of the thing about crime and statistics is it's a very small percentage of people repeating the crimes over and over again. Which makes sense because you go, I don't get it with everyone stealing the mountain bikes or setting the fires or tagging everything. I don't know anybody that would engage in that behavior. And you don't and I don't. Nobody does. It's just like a super small group that just keeps doing it constantly. And that's kind of my argument for figuring out who that small group is and getting them off the street. But it's a very small percentage wise number that can just cause a lot of damage if they just keep repeating it. And I do think most. I did an experiment when I was doing morning radio, which is I took a wallet, and I recommend this. I don't know if I recommend it anymore, but I used to do this. I used to do this. I put my phone number on my wallet, and I would say, if you find this, call this number. And I took a wallet as an experiment, and I think we put like $50 in it. No ID, no credit cards, and just threw it around places. Just went to that neighborhood, dropped it on the sidewalk. Went to this neighborhood and dropped it on the sidewalk. Everyone called everyone.

[C]

Every time you dropped it, they called.

[A]

Right. Because criminals aren't walking around looking for wallets. You know what I mean? They're up to something. You know what I mean?

[C]

But they're also mostly opportunists. Most people are not planning to break the window of your car and take your, you know. What do you keep in your car?

[A]

Computer.

[C]

Okay. You leave your computer in your car.

[A]

I'm trying to help your point. Oh, thank you.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

I don't leave my computer in my car. But if one was going to break a window, they wouldn't steal the coins in the ashtray. Right. They're gonna get their computer or something of value.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Well, no, I had a friend who had the coins in the van. The window was smashed. The coins and the cup holder were taken. And the knobs off the radio. That was it. That was all that was in. And they took it.

[A]

There wasn't a big doobie sitting on top of the coins?

[C]

Nope, just the coins that you would put in a meter and the knobs on the radio.

[A]

That person must have been really high.

[C]

I'm guessing Lower east side.

[A]

And maybe they just busted into it like Storage Wars. Like, they just go, I'm just going to bust this. We'll see what's in this van.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it turned out there was no computers or backpacks or guitars, so they just said, I'll just grab the coins while I'm here.

[C]

That's true. That's true.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It was a bad bet.

[A]

I don't think most people would bust your window just because there was a backpack on the seat. I think that's somebody who does.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. Most people wouldn't. It is that small percentage. But they're. But they're the worst. And they're taking advantage of everyone else.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. And also, there's, like, you know what it is? I'll tell you what it is. And this is where we're living. You go to the ballpark, and I love drinking a beer out of a cold glass bottle, but I don't like it as much out of a Styrofoam cup. But somebody threw a bottle at the umpire 30 years ago and now we all must drink it out of a cup. I don't like it out of a paper cup. I would never throw a beer bottle on the field. But I shall be quietly punished. But what do you think TSA is? I mean, I've taken my belt off my shoes. I've flown 2 million miles and never caused a fracas or done anything. There's no shoe bomb. There's no nothing. But I stand in line and take my shoes off with everybody else. So that's our society. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and the knowledge you need. If I can't figure out something that's going on with my car, they're always the first call I make. They have thousands of parts in stock. They can test your battery for free. Need wiper blades, brake light? I don't know, quick fix for something on the car. They'll get you the right part. Everyone who works there is knowledgeable and best off. They are friendly. Held the door for me last time I was at the one out in Burbank. The professional parts people at O'Reilly are your one stop shop for DIY auto stuff in store or online. It's O'Reilly Auto Parts, right?

[B]

Dawson stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us@O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam

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[B]

So you never miss a moment,

[A]

which I don't really like, because essentially, and I've said this before, when you do a production, you have to sit through. You have to sit through something like a diversity training and then like a sexual harassment training. And I'm like, how long is that? It's two hours. You have to sit down. I said, there is no history of me ever sexually harassing anybody. Why do I have to go to the thing? You have to go to the thing. Listen, you get pulled over for DUI and you get busted, you must attend mandatory AA meetings.

[C]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[A]

In many municipalities, you have to pay a fine or do whatever, and you get 10. You have 10 trips to the. You know, whatever. Except for if you never got a dui. Why do you need to go to the AA meetings? Cause that's what this is. I never had an issue. I sent you tool suggestions all those years ago. I was a perfect gentleman.

[C]

You were.

[A]

Why do I have to go to the meeting?

[C]

I can tell you why.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

It's slightly boring. You're not gonna like it.

[A]

I wanna hear it.

[C]

It's just so the studio or the company or the shipping facility doesn't have to pay a personal injury lawsuit.

[A]

That's it, Right? Everyone.

[C]

You have to sit through that meeting two hours, four hours a year. And you just have to. You've never harassed anyone. You're not learning anything new. You know, you don't call your co worker, you know, the C word. You don't grab people by the crotch. I think we all know that. Yes, but if they make you watch a speech, then they're off the hook. It's arbitration. They don't have to pay.

[A]

Totally get it. That's all lawyers.

[C]

It's a pain in the ass, I

[A]

know, but it's still the society that we've crafted, you know? And it still means a bunch of people have to sit there. And also, it's always so condescending. Like, let's just say your secretary has a new dress. Should you compliment. Let me figure that fucking out, would I? By the way, you're gonna tell me, no compliments for anybody ever. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah. That's where we've got now, where you're not allowed to say, you look like

[A]

you've been working out.

[C]

Yeah. Not allowed to say it. Instead, the lady. The last speech we had, the. The lady said, you can say, I like your hat, but you can't say, hey, have you lost a couple of pounds? Are you Working out. You can't say anything about someone's appearance. You can't even say, hey, are you okay? You look a little tired. Because it's all considered microaggressions and abusive, right? So at work, we're just every morning coming in and going, I like your hat, Adam. I love that hat.

[A]

New frames on those glasses.

[C]

Gorgeous.

[A]

Gorgeous. Not you. The frames.

[C]

Oh, the frames.

[A]

The frames, yes. I had a funny story I haven't told in a million years, but I had a couple stories like this. I had an outburst at one of these meetings. So I said, first off, these people don't know anything. They know as much about this subject as Gavin Newsom knew about COVID which is nothing. They're just saying stuff. There's no rule that you can't compliment someone on a new haircut or something. You just made that shit up 10 minutes ago. Fuck off. You don't know anything. You act like you're a mechanical engineer. You don't know anything. This wasn't even a job 10 years ago. Now you're an expert on this. Fine. So we had to have our diversity training thing at the radio station, and my whole morning show had to go in and put it on the calendar. And it's just, you finish work, and then you have to sit there for two hours doing nothing. And I said to everybody, nobody ask a question. I will fire your ass.

[C]

I know exactly what you. I know. I know.

[A]

If you start asking questions, you're not

[C]

allowed to do that, though. You're not allowed to say that. That's awesome.

[A]

I told everyone, I will fire your ass if you ask a question. And by the way, Tam, your tits are looking perky this morning. Is that. Anyway, so I go, no questions. No questions. Because we can be in and out of there in 90 minutes. But if you start asking stupid questions, it could take three hours. You know what I mean? And then at some point, she's gonna go, oh, you know, that's a good question. What if someone got veneers and you wanted to compliment them on their smile? Let me think about that. Now we're. Now we're wasting more time, right? So I said, no questions. We're just sit there, Let her talk. She'll be done, and we'll leave. And so she started getting into this thing where she said, well, let's just say that a liquor store was robbed, and we were giving a description of the man who robbed the liquor store, and he was a male and Hispanic. Would it be okay to say male and Hispanic? And it was like, yeah, all right. No, it's not. Because you're singling out one group and one ethnicity. And there are many Hispanics that didn't rob a liquor store. And now you're lumping them in. And it's like, all right, how are you gonna find the guy then if we don't do a description of who the guy is, but it's not okay to say he's Hispanic. After five minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. And even though I told everyone, my crew, no questions, I go, wait a minute. How come we're allowed to say he's male? I'm male. I don't wanna be lumped in with this guy that robbed the liquor store. So I'm gonna use your logic. We can't say he's Hispanic because it takes other Hispanic males. And what about males? I'm male. I don't wanna be lumped in. And she was like, huh? And I was like, I don't want any description. I have a son. I don't want him lumped in with this liquor store robber. And it screwed her argument up badly enough, but everyone looked at me and went, I thought our plan was to shut up. I couldn't stifle myself. So you learn important things. Like, it's not okay to say a description of the person's. I guess you could say he was wearing a red hat, but you couldn't say he was Hispanic.

[C]

I don't know. Maybe the. I don't know. I mean, I spend most of my time on Criminal Minds, which is a show about the FBI. We're still giving descriptions. Age, weight, height, sex, gender, race, religion.

[A]

Everyone's got a crazy tattoo now on their head or neck.

[C]

What?

[A]

Well, lots of people have tattoos now. In the past, that was a big deal. Let's go. He has a distinctive tattoo on his lower forearm. You know what I mean? Like, you could identify someone with a tattoo, but nobody had tattoos. But it was a way to identify somebody. If you got a neck tattoo now and you're a criminal, we're gonna see you by your neck tattoo, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, I guess they wear a Dickie. Dickie. Oh, we're old. We both thought Dickie right away. I mean, if you rob a 711 and you have a giant lobster tattooed on your neck and it's visible, you're 90% more likely to be identified because of your lobster tattoo. Now, that's actually a chef who's very, very good.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

See him on the cooking shows. He's got a lobster I don't think he robs anybody. But yeah, if you did your dad, now everyone can wear a mask everywhere, all the time.

[A]

Oh, that's right. So did your dad have a dickie?

[C]

My dad did not. My dad was. You're either wearing a turtleneck or you're not a dickie.

[A]

For people that don't know, a dickie is like a faux turtleneck.

[C]

It's like, stop. It's like a bib.

[A]

It's kind of like a priest. Sometimes a priest collar will be like just. Oh yeah, just that part. Just the top part.

[C]

Then you put a sweater over it so you don't know that that's not a.

[A]

Or you put a blazer over it or whatever. Yeah, it's basically like saying it's a little warm for a turtleneck sweater, but visually they never go out of style.

[C]

I wonder if you could even get a dickie on Amazon.

[A]

I don't know. Andrew. See if I can purchase a dickie

[C]

or a priest dickie. See if you can get a priest dickie too. Just for funsies.

[A]

When you picture Beethoven's bust, that's exactly how it would fit.

[C]

That's a perfect description. Yes. Like a marble statue. You see a little bit of clavicle and then there's just a dip right in the front. That's how far the turtleneck goes. And then you put a sweater or a shirt over it.

[A]

I wonder if that was sort of Spanx for dudes. You know what I mean? Like maybe.

[C]

I don't think it wasn't holding anything in.

[A]

No, no. But I just mean. And if you brought a young lady home and you found out she had the Spanx on, there might be a little. Oh, or a push up bra or something like that. Maybe there'd be a little disappointment if you brought a fella home and the dickie was under the blazer.

[C]

I would for sure be disappointed if there was a dickie under there. It's just weird. And look at that.

[A]

They're selling women's detachable. Hold on. Mock. Okay, they're calling mock turtlenecks. Is that what they're calling them now?

[C]

They don't call it a neck warmer. A neck warmer. There's one knit Dickies set of four.

[A]

Oh, man, that's good. But that's only gonna get me to Thursday.

[C]

Thank you for sharing your screen, whoever is sending the. The dickey reconnaissance.

[A]

Yeah, that's a weird thing. I. You know, let's. Let's break down Padgett all the extra stuff we used to have as a society. Like, you know, there were merkins, you know. Yes, it's a dickie for your dicky, essentially.

[C]

Well, I think it was mostly for female onstage dancers. Female strippers in certain areas of certain counties of certain states were not allowed to do a striptease naked. They could be topless but have to wear a thong. But if they put a wig on, that's covered. So they were able to be essentially nude with a pubic hair wig, I believe, is what it came from.

[A]

But the merkin goes back to, like, the Elizabethan days.

[C]

What?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Mm. The mercant.

[C]

What was it for?

[A]

Well, this is why we have to discuss it. You know, what's the dickey for? I don't know. You know, what exactly are spats for? I mean, a little bit of something. What's a cummerbund for? Merkin must go back to, like, Elizabethan days.

[C]

I think Merkins were, like, 60s.

[F]

In order

[C]

for strippers to be able to strip on stage.

[A]

They may have had a renaissance. American Renaissance.

[C]

Having been around since the Renaissance, you're saying they made a comeback? I think because you can't serve alcohol. If it used to be. I don't know what the deal is now. It used to be because I was bartending all over Manhattan, I worked at the Baby Doll Lounge on Church and White street, which is now like a fancy hotel. You couldn't serve alcohol if the ladies stripped naked. And then it became you couldn't serve alcohol. It was basically a bikini bar. A lot of strip clubs turned into bikini bars because of the rules were,

[A]

what year is the merkin? And yes, spats used to have a purpose and then they became just sort of ornamental. A lot of stuff started off as something like, I'll give you an example. Cars in the 60s, like American muscle cars, had big hood blower things, shaker scoops and scoops and stuff on the hood. Later on in the 80s, they just put a plastic thing on the hood. It didn't do anything, but it said muscle car because it was supposed to

[C]

be sucking in enough oxygen to cool the engine so it wouldn't blow up

[A]

when they used it in the 60s. But then in the 80s, they just stuck it on there.

[C]

Right. Not performing a function.

[A]

Yeah, that's a dickey for your hood and a merkin.

[C]

What were the spats for?

[A]

The spats protected. And by the way, you'll see soldiers in World War I wearing essentially those covers, those kind of spats, you know, mud, debris. You're emptying chamber pots and you're standing in mud and stuff, and it's getting in your laces and whatever. Then later on, it just became W.C. fields wore it, you know, because it was cool.

[C]

Yes. It was just fashion. Fashion in the twenties.

[A]

The Oxford Companion to the Body Dates. The origin of public wig. Wait, of public wig. Oh, sorry. Pubic. Sorry. I'm sorry, sorry. Pubic wig, 1450s.

[C]

Damn, you were right. That's incredible. What, did everybody have scabies? Did they lose their pubic hair?

[A]

Yeah, I guess women would shave it and then put the Merc. I don't know. But listen, we've always been a weird society is what I'm saying. They were weird back then.

[C]

We were weird. We are a weird species. It's every society. It's every culture. We're a strange species. We're capable of dumb shit. That means you have to drink your beer at a Styrofoam. And were capable of curing polio and

[A]

being Mozart, prostitutes would use them to conceal signs of syphilis.

[C]

Aha. So it is aha.

[A]

Aha. I mean, there's always a method to their madness. All right. Oh, and yeah, the rules out here were you could serve beer at titty bars, but full nude.

[C]

No alcohol.

[A]

No alcohol. And you could serve hard liquor to bikini bar.

[C]

Ah, okay. So that's what it was.

[A]

And so the profit was in the hard liquor. So they converted to bikini bars. Padgett, let me give you a plug before we let you go. Touch Me is the film very interesting, very unique.

[C]

Did you see?

[A]

I did.

[C]

Did you see a trailer? You saw it. You got to see it.

[A]

I saw the film.

[C]

It is wild.

[A]

It's wild. It's a wild film and very well executed.

[C]

Thank you for saying that. I think so, too.

[A]

It's a really interesting piece and it's on demand. That'll be coming up Digital. That'll be April 7th. And it's limited in theaters. There's a la. I think there's a New York run as well. Just, I don't know, Google in Touch Me film or something. And let's see.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Can I say something quickly? If people would go to YouTube and look up Touch Me, there is a trailer. And then you'll be like, oh, that's what this movie is. Oh, I want to see it.

[A]

All right, Padgett, I'll see you in 25 years.

[C]

Thank you, Adam.

[A]

Talk soon.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

The news after this. Shopify. Jumping into podcasting when I did seemed a little scary at the time, but it's best decision. I ever made. A lot of you have ideas and it's time to make the leap but you need the right tools and that's where Shopify can help. They count for 10% of all E commerce in the US and will get you started with your own design studio. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling and if you get stuck they have award winning 24. 7 customer support. Am I right Dawson?

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It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today.

[G]

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[B]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[A]

Hey Adam, what's up? This is Kale. I'm calling from Canada. Please help us. It's horrible down here.

[B]

Help me become American.

[A]

Please. I'll do anything. Well, not anything, but you know.

[B]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[A]

Yeah, I'd say I've said Canada's ahead of California in the woke going down circle in the toilet department. They're there. I mean Covid, remember when the truckers were striking and they were shutting off their bank accounts and stuff. They're fucking insane over there. Everyone I knew went to Canada to film something. They had to sit in a hotel room for two weeks. Even if they were boosted. Even if they already had Covid. And they had, like, a guard. A guard. Their door. They're nuts. By the way, Justin Trudeau. Trudeau is progressive. That's what progressive gets you. It gets you a guard by your hotel room so you can't leave. That's. And tons of taxes. Again, I have no idea why we're dabbling with this. Like, we're toying with it all the time. Like, what about some version of this? How about no version of it? Right?

[B]

All right, well, the reason why it's able to move in California is honestly probably voter fraud.

[A]

I guess that's what we're finding out. So now I got a couple things to take care of.

[B]

Let's hear it.

[A]

One is, there's a Carrot Top controversy. People are angry, including Carrot Top, because I besmirched him. Oh, no. Well, I like Carrot Top.

[B]

I know you do, and

[A]

I had said that. Okay. I don't know why. It's not. Is this not on my list, by the way, or is it on the list? I feel like we talked to him for 20 minutes on the way in. All right, I will play you the clip that Carrot Top played in response to me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yes. This is awesome. Here we go. You build all the puppets? Yeah, I build all the dummies. Yeah. And I'm pretty proud of myself.

[B]

Those things have lasted for decades.

[A]

Yeah. No shade for Carrot Top, but he makes his own props. But taking a Barbie and stapling it to a 2x4 and going, Baby on Board, it's not that difficult. It's not my prop is the reason you. If you're gonna. With me, with my act, with my joke. That's Gallagher. Gallagher did Baby on Board. Baby on Board. If you're gonna do a joke about me, pick my joke. It's like saying, yeah, the Rolling Stones weren't that. I mean, Jukebox Hero wasn't really their best song because it fucking wasn't their song. You gotta see this. This is all. That's Foreigner. Yeah. It's a horrible song. He's right. I owe him an apology. I don't remember Gallagher. You know, I remember the Sledge O Matic, and I remember a giant bed that he'd bounce up and down on, but I don't remember him doing Carrot topping esque prop stuff. I just remember the sledge. But apparently he did.

[B]

Well, I would imagine that Gallagher was probably a big inspiration on Carrot Top.

[A]

I guess so. So I owe Carrot Top an apology.

[B]

And I know you like him. He's a nice guy. He's been in here before. He's what we talk about.

[A]

He's the.

[B]

He's the comedian's comedian.

[A]

And I'm glad I got coached up, because my whole life, I thought Baby. Baby on board was a Carrot Top. What?

[B]

Well, there you go.

[A]

Now Gallagher's dead. But, yeah, wiring a baby onto a piece of plywood isn't a really great guy.

[B]

Good job.

[A]

Yeah. So I've. I owe Carrot Top an apology.

[B]

I'm glad we got that cleared up.

[A]

Got that cleared up. Now I am owed an apology by the makers of Top Gun Maverick.

[B]

You think you're gonna get it?

[A]

Mm. It won't be as fast as Carrot Top's response. I don't know why this, but I'm bothered when movies do stuff where you try to make the person the hero, but they're really behaving in a way that would be wildly irresponsible and dangerous. And it's not hero action at all.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I hadn't seen that movie in a couple years. I just thought, yeah, it's a good movie. I want to watch this movie. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. I mean, Act One. And listen, anyone want to pick holes in this? You can. Andrew likes the movie. Tom Cruise is a test pilot, right? And so he's all excited that he gets to. There's no helmet laws wherever he rides his motorcycle. I've learned in Top Gear, even though he frequently goes down to San Diego to Top Gun, whatever, Miramar, and he rides that motorcycle all over the place. And he never wears a helmet. In California, you'd be pulled over 30 times from the base on the back to your apartment. But anyway, he's a test pilot, so he comes pulling in to. Well, first he works on his vintage P51 Mustang, which is always. What they do, is they always pull the plugs. They're always putting the plugs in or pulling a plug and looking at it, because that means the character knows he can read a plug. He's old school, you know what I mean? So he looks at the plug, you know, because they always do that. It's also a good way to get a little bicep flex in there, because you reach up, you kind of show the guns off a little, and they hand pull, but. Means you're salty there. So then he gets on his motorcycle and he breaks the speed limit all the way down to the center because it's time to test the new Air Force supersonic aircraft.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And I am guessing the Air Force has several billion dollars into this program. The plane itself is pretty damn expensive looking and it can fly. They want to get to Mach 10, right? Which is.

[B]

It's a lot of machs.

[A]

It depends whether you're at sea level or wherever. But I'm gonna go with Mach 10 as being somewhere around 7,000 miles an hour. Look up Mach 10. I made it. 680. 6,800 miles an hour. 7. It'll probably give you a range. It'll go if it's at sea level, it's at this. If it's that altitude, it's that. But 7,000 miles an hour. Oh, 767. So over 7,000 miles an hour for the Mach. Okay, now the plane he's due to test and it's a very, it's a, it's a very high end experimental aircraft led by black guy with a couple of young black chicks in that booth too, you know. Okay, so we gotta even it out. And they say today's the day we bring it to Mach 9. And the plan was if they could get this plane to Mach 10, they would order more. Whatever. They'd get a full order, right? So they go, today we're supposed to get to Mach 9. But the head general's coming in and he's going to shut this thing down. No more program. And Tom Cruise goes, what if we get to Mach 10 today? He'd have to keep the program. They're like, well, today is only slated for Mach 9 because we're testing this thing as we ratchet it up. And of course Cruz, because he's a test pilot, gets to go, no, we're going for 10. Everyone get to your stations. And they all hustle up and they do with. They're evidently there's no one really in charge there. But the general guys come, okay, and don't worry, he's gonna be here in like 10 minutes. So we gotta get going, right?

[B]

So they gotta hurry up and reach Mach 10.

[A]

Hurry up and reach Mach 10. So Cruz jumps into the plane and right, of course he's taxing. Of course, the general guys pulling up to the base. And of course the airstrip goes right to the guard shack. So he's gonna give him a flyby

[B]

as he takes, he's gonna buzz the tower.

[A]

So then the head general guy, Ed Andrew, tell me who he is. Ed Harris, who's always the general guy. He's angry general guy. He comes in and he goes, bring him down, Bring him down. We're not going to get to Mach 10. And they're like, what do we get to Mach 10? Bring him in. And then they do a thing where he calls them to come in, but they pretend like the radio doesn't work. HE SPEAKS IN STACCATO and then they realize if they could get to Mach 10 with the general there, they could save the program, okay? And the billions of dollars that went into it, right? And everyone would have a job. So Cruz, because he's a maverick, says, I'm going for it. And he throttles that thing all the way up, right? And now we're Mach 7 or Mach 8, and it's ticking up, you know, 8.2, 8.3. Outside plane shaking, starting to heat up on the control surfaces. Red hot. Now we're going to Mach 9. And everyone's glued to the set, watching it down at the base. And all of a sudden we get, hold on, you're making a great movie. But listen to me, listen. We get to nine. 2, 9, 3, 9, 5, 9, 7, 10. We've made it to Mach 10. Everyone celebrates downstairs. Oh, they're. They're at home, at home base. But we made it to 10. We've reached our goal. Now. Bring that airplane back, and let's have an order for a dozen of these bad boys. And by the way, we're all going to have jobs for the next 20 years because we're making this supersonic airplane that got to Mach 10 as discussed and agreed upon, even though today was only a Mach 9 trial, technically, we've reached our goal of Mach 10. And here. And we've made it. And everyone's celebrating. And of course, the head guy, who. The radio does work now, he goes, all right, Maverick, you made it to 10. Now bring it home. And Maverick says, no, I'm gonna keep going until the plane explodes. Right? That's. That's. That's not what you're looking for in a test pilot. I'm going to just keep. By the way, once you make the Mach 10, who gives a fuck? If you get to Mach 10.3, there's no difference. You had 10. It's basically like saying Brad Pitt in F1. I want you to test our new F1 car out at Circuit of the Americas. And they go, now remember, Redline is 10,000 RPMs. And he goes, well, fuck it. I'm just going to keep my foot planted until the Engine blows up. Right. Thank you. Nice job testing our car. You got to 10. Why would they write that? Maverick needs to just keep going. Where did he want to get to? Okay, he gets to 10.8 at this. The things fucking shaking. The control services are red hot. The agreement was for 10. He never made any proclamation where, this Thing's good till 12. I can get to 12. He has nothing. He just kept the throttle down until the plane had catastrophic failure. And then, by the way, could have easily landed in the middle of a town and taken out a fucking school. Sure. And he got ejected. And then this $10 billion plane just falls to the ground. And then he just walks back to the base. Hey, man, what's going on? You'd think after Goose died he'd learned his lesson. Yes. No, I'm sorry. That means he's got a flaw as a character. And also, if you're writing the fucking movie. What is his motivation? To literally. He literally just keeps the throttle jammed all the way up until the plane comes apart.

[B]

That's irresponsible.

[A]

Scrap the fucking now. The plane scrapped. Not to mention the $10 billion piece of hardware that just fell out of the sky. Right. And then you walk back to base and you stand there kind of defiantly and you do the kind of play by my own rules. It's like, you're fucking out of control, Maniac. This is not what test pilots do. Right. All right. That's a huge problem. It's a huge problem with the movie. And it's right in the first 10 minutes of it.

[B]

I think that apology will be forthcoming.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know why people write moves and go. I don't get why she. Keep going. Why don't we. I'll tell you what, why don't we have him get to 10. Everyone cheers. And they yell, maverick, bring it home. And we show them reach for the throttle to start to slide it back and then there's a whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, like immediately. Why don't we do that? Oh, no, we're just going to keep it mash. And he's going to go indefinitely until the plane blows up. That makes him an asshole and a shitty American and a fucking bad test.

[B]

Wasting taxpayer dollars for his own glory.

[A]

Okay, come on now. Sorry, ma'.

[D]

Am.

[A]

Anyway, made me angry and I don't believe the rest of the movie. Now, of course. All right, sorry. What do you got?

[B]

I got Vince Vaughn. Vince Vaughn's taken aim at late night television, arguing that in an increasingly political tone has Driven audiences away, and contributed to the genre's declining popularity. Let's hear what he said on Theo Vaughn's podcast.

[A]

Why a lot of the late shows have struggled because all they did during, like, all they did, the only person they could make fun of at a certain point was just like white redneck kind of people. Three bros in. And then everything tanked after that.

[H]

Think about that. This is. But see, they never get it right. The podcasts have gotten so much more popular with less production, less writers, less staff. The only reason why two people working

[A]

here and both of them are hungover and one guy has shingles.

[H]

But the place is clean. I like that you keep a clean place.

[A]

Thank you. Yeah, we did it back you. But.

[H]

But, yeah, because people want authenticity.

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

And I think that. I think that the talk shows, to a large part, became really agenda based.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

They were going to evangelical people to what they thought. You know what I mean? And so people just rejected it because it didn't feel authentic. It felt like they had an agenda. It stopped being funny and it started feeling like I was in a class I didn't want to take. But if you look at what happened to the talk shows and why their ratings are low, it's got only to do with the fact of what you just said, which is they all became the same show.

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

And they all became so about their politics and who's good and who's bad. And it's like, imagine sitting next to someone like that on a fucking plane. Oh, bro. You'd be like, how do I get power?

[A]

I would fart right next to holy cow. All right, all right. A lot of it. Let me tell you what a lot of it is. A lot of it's just Hollywood echo chamber stuff. They eat East Coast, West Coast. A lot of it has to do that no one really talks about is bookings. If you got out there, let's just say you were a late night talk show host and you just go, hey, man, today's election day and I'm voting for Trump. You don't get Bryan Cranston the next day, and you don't get George Clooney the next day, your bookings dry up.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I mean, look at it. Let's look at it this way. Gutfeld, ratings wise, is doing well in late night. I don't even know if it's technically late night anymore. But let's see. She's doing well, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You can turn on Gutfeld at any. On any given night. And celebrity wise, I don't know Dean Cain, probably the top of the whatever, maybe Kevin Sorbo. I mean celebrity wise, Chef Gruel, you know, you're talking about people that they wouldn't book if two guests dropped out of a network late night show.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Celebrity wise.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Not enough, not popular enough at this time. You know what I mean? So part of it is, is if you get up there and start talking about stuff that these guys don't like, you don't get this person. You don't get to interview Barack Obama if you're up there yelling about close the borders.

[B]

Right, but it's so one sided though.

[A]

Yeah, I get it. But if you just go look, if you just did a list, right, you just did a list of like celebrities and some sort of power ranking, you know what I mean? And you, I don't know, you started with Oprah or something or you started with LeBron James or maybe you started with George Clooney, Brad Pitt or something like that. The top 50 would all be left leaning and it would all be people who'd want to book on your show.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And if you started talking about stuff that was off the beaten path in terms of the left conversation, then no mask with that. So I think a lot of it is a booking. Is a booking situation.

[B]

Interesting. But I mean who's in charge of that? Why can't that easily change?

[A]

It could, but it takes a while and you have to lose money. Well, there's a power rankings in most popular celebrities.

[B]

Most popular celebrities as determined by IMDb 100 names.

[A]

Amy Madigan.

[B]

Okay, how, who, who is that?

[A]

I think she just won the Oscar, but I don't know who she is either. I wouldn't recognize it. Okay, Jesse Buckley.

[B]

I don't know who that is either.

[A]

Chuck Norris.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Do you know who Chuck Norris?

[B]

I do know who Chuck Norris is.

[A]

Paul Thomas Anderson. I think a lot of this is fresh off the Oscars. That's the problem with this. Nicholas Brendan don't know who he is. No, that is Michael B. Jordan. I do know that. Leonardo DiCaprio. All right, Emily Rudd.

[B]

How is it that the list of the 100 most popular actors. I don't know half of them in the top 10.

[A]

You don't know the.

[B]

I don't know the Bo Garrett.

[A]

Garrett. Who's a chick. Timothy Chalamet. All right. Uh huh. Oh, Nicholas Brendan just died.

[B]

I don't think I know who Emily Rudd is either.

[A]

Well, there must be a Paul Rudd thing, sister.

[B]

Possibly.

[A]

Keep going.

[B]

That would make sense.

[A]

Let's see. Sean Penn. All Right. Oscars. Ryan Gosling movie out. Alan Richardson's beat a guy down in the street. Elle Chapman. Don't know. Yeah.

[B]

Turned out we were right about Ritchson, by the way.

[A]

What would we figure out?

[B]

The part of the video that you don't see is the neighbor jumping in front of Alan Ritchson's motorcycle and screaming at him.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. God, his kids. What a life. What a life. Matt Clark just died too. So I guess maybe in a weird way, the problem with this list is there's some guy you never heard of, but he just got a dui, so now he's at number five. Like, I don't. I don't think that's a good way to measure. List no celebrity you haven't heard of. But he just died. That's no way to do a power rankings last.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway, in the podcast, Theo Vaughn pointed out that Hollywood is a liberal place, which. To which Vaughn replied, but not really. It's more like we're smart and got it figured out, and if you don't agree, then you're an idiot. And I think that's totally true.

[A]

Yeah. I haven't talked to Vince in a while. Ever since I told him I let my neighbor's house burn. I think I offended him.

[B]

You think he was a little afraid of his own house?

[A]

Well, he did live right next door to me, and I did tell him my old neighbor's house caught on fire and I left.

[B]

I just let it go.

[A]

Yeah, well, it was a commitment I made to myself. It was really honorable thing to do. I mean, when you hate your neighbor so much that you declare to the heavens, if that guy's house on fire, I'm not calling the fire department.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then his house is on fire. What are you gonna do? Go back on your word?

[B]

Well, hopefully stay off the police radar because you'd be the first door I'm knocking on. What do you know about this fire? And where were your words?

[A]

Turn. He turned out to be okay.

[B]

Good.

[A]

All right, what else we got?

[B]

University of Southern California canceled a high profile gubernatorial primary debate just hours before it was set to take place following backlash over the event's lack of racial diversity amongst invited candidates. It was supposed to be Tuesday night at usc, but somebody, including, I believe, our state Attorney general, started screaming and crying that people who aren't polling anywhere near the other people weren't invited simply because of the color of their skin.

[A]

Is it really a thing in Los Angeles in 2026?

[B]

They keep on throwing it at us

[A]

as if it is, it's a weird thing. It's like when they go, you know, cops are racist. Good luck finding a white cop in Los Angeles. It seems like mostly Hispanic women.

[B]

Well, we had mayor via Rugosa for what, two terms? And all of a sudden we don't like him because he's brown. That's the answer that they have.

[A]

Tom Bradley. He's got an airport black man. Tom Bradley was mayor of Los Angeles in 1968. Yeah. Really?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

We're still going to be talking about this, by the way. We weren't talking about it back then.

[B]

Right.

[A]

He was just the mayor.

[B]

Former state controller Betty Yee wasn't invited. And it's not because she thinks that the Olympics should be genderless, by the way. It's not for that reason.

[A]

20 years. Oh, that dumb coos. Yeah. Bradley was mayor for 20 years. A black man was in charge of Los Angeles. My entire. By the way, it was 68, his first. Was it 68 or 72? You can look it up from July.

[B]

73. Oh, 73. 93. Holy smoke. 20 years.

[A]

Here's how long we let a black guy run Los Angeles. From the time I was. From the time I was like in the third grade or fourth grade or third grade. From the time I was in the fourth grade. Let's call it third. Here's how long a black guy ran in Los Angeles from the time I was in the third grade to the time I started doing radio when I was 30. Basically from that period of time in my lifetime living here. Thus he's the only mare I ever had, essentially from the time you're in the third grade to the time you're 30 and you live in that town the whole time. That's your whole life. We had a black man, seemed like a sensible dude. He was normal and the city was fine. And then we got a bunch of crazy coup in here and now it's all turned to shit. Yeah, but something about race again, that's all it is.

[B]

USC initially defended its selection process, saying that invitations were based on data driven formula developed by a university professor that weighed polling and fundraising. But critics argued the methodology produced a skewed outcome in a crowded race with no clear frontrunner. The controversy escalated after California legislative leaders demanded the university expand the debate field. Every excluded leading candidate Javier Bacaria, Betty Yee, Tony Thurmond and Anthony Villa Retardo as a person of color. Lawmakers wrote in a letter to usc.

[A]

By the way, they're always. They're outraged over this shit. They're never outraged over their city burning down or any. Or, you know, college girls getting stabbed at work or something like that? They don't care about that. No, but they get outraged.

[B]

They called on USC to do the right thing, and they said, if USC does not do the right thing, then we call on California voters to boycott this debate. Okay, well, then let's have the debate.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then if you want to boycott it, you can boycott it. Yes, but this is basically. It's a fight against a merit based system, right?

[A]

Well, they don't like merit based.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They're DEI idiots. That's. That's how we get Mayor Bass.

[B]

Well, the people who are supposed to be in it were Steve Hilton, Chad Bianco, Tom Steyer, who is God, the guy's a retard.

[A]

He's a fucking full retard. He's running a commercial. You want to talk about commercials? The thing that's funny for me is, like, people make commercials for products or campaigns or whatever it is. And I look at him and go, this is like somebody went down to Madison Avenue and said, how do we get Carolla not to vote for this guy? Or how do we get him not to buy this product? And then you show me the two gay guys driving the Volkswagen who adopted a sheep, and I go, fuck that. I'm not going anywhere near that car. Right. So you actually. You're making a commercial that's actually pushing me away. Yeah. Tom Steyer has one where he's talking about fighting ice and doing all this other shit, but there's one where he has a fat lunch lady in it,

[B]

and she only gets to make 200 lunches.

[A]

And she's like, first off, listen, everybody, you can't tell me people have food anxiety and. Or are fat. Yeah, listen, let me explain something. When you make a World War II film. Okay, let me just explain something. This is going to be for you, Chuck.

[B]

She has food anxiety.

[A]

No, no, she eats all the food she makes for the kids. Like, one for you, two for me. Chuck, Schindler's List. I know your family watches it every year at Christmas. Schindler's List. All right. When they liberated those camps, those camps in Poland and all the Jews were liberated, did they have any fat Jews in that cast? They have to cast people, you understand? They don't have a time machine.

[B]

They gotta diversify them.

[A]

They have to go back and they have to cast people in Schindler's List. And they go, look, we are now going to liberate a death camp. And it's in Poland, and we need super skinny ass white people to be emaciated. And by the way, anybody here. No car bloating at lunch? We're filming this after lunch. Don't go all nuts at crafty. And then we're gonna film you coming out here in your underpants looking emaciated. And then somebody could have said, well, how about a couple of fat asses? And then Spielberg would have went, that doesn't really work because these people were denied food. They were deprived of food. Yeah, but how about we fill it out with some fat asses? No, no, no, because you can't be deprived food and be fat. Yeah, so we can't film that because it doesn't make sense. But how come everyone telling me they're not getting enough food is now fat? Spielberg would not abide by this. So anyway, you get the fat lunch lady, and she's telling me why Tom Steyer's her guy. Because he gives away food, right? All right, let's sear her. She drives me nuts.

[I]

I'm the lunch lady. I cook for over 200 kids every single day. You would be amazed by how many kids come to school hungry. Finally, someone got off and did something about it, and that was Tom Steyer.

[A]

What'd he do? Hold on, pause.

[B]

What'd he do?

[A]

I didn't show anything. But hold on. Here's the thing. How about somebody do something about it like their fucking parents? Yeah, how about you feed your fucking kids? Feed your kids. By the way, coming to school hungry. She could see it in their little fat faces, right? Look at that little chubby cheek fucker there with the pink in his cheeks with the guacamole on his lip. That guy. Oh, that. That guy with. Who smells like bacon and has. Has gravy stains on his shirt. That little fat fuck. He's hungry. I could see it in his eyes. I know, because I'm fat and hungry too. Mm. By the way, when you're fat, you're hungry all the time because you're all fucking stretched out. So she is the lunch lady, and she's got to make meals for all these kids because they show up with no food right at home. Which would beg the question, what the fuck are their parents doing, right? Not feeding their kids. That's bad parenting. They don't want to discuss that. They want to figure out a way to get the fat kids free shit, right? All right, let's hear it.

[I]

200 kids every single day. You would be amazed by how many kids come to School hungry. Finally, someone got pissed off and did something about it. And that was Tom's tire. Free school meals for every California kid. Your baby, my baby, Free lunches, free breakfast every day. That's 3 million lunch of the day. I get to make 200 of.

[B]

When do they learn?

[A]

Hold on a second. Because he first. First off, he's fighting for us. Tom Starr's fighting for us. Finally, there's someone fighting for us. Okay, Momentous. When people talk about energy recovery performance, one thing they overlook is gut health. That's where Momentous Fiber plus comes in. Gut health impacts nutrient absorption, energy stability, recovery and focus. Momentous fiber plus is a 3 in 1 formula with soluble fiber, insoluble fiber, and prebiotic resistant starch. This combo feeds beneficial gut bacteria, improves digestion and helps stabilize blood sugar for steady energy. It's built with clean and minimal ingredients with a science first formulation I recently started taking myself. And I know you're going to love it as well. Am I right, Dawson?

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[A]

listen. There's no such thing as free lunch. Somebody pays for the lunch. Yes, somebody's paying for breakfast and lunch. It's not free. It's like, oh, there's free medical and there's free daycare and there's free hospice. It's not free. Somebody's getting paid tons of fucking money. And what they're doing is they're extracting money from the people who pay taxes, laundering, and giving it to the bullshit fat asses who don't pay anything.

[B]

But also those people who control all the votes, like the unions and stuff, they get the breaks. And then so fuck.

[A]

Tom, stop.

[B]

Tom Steyer. The good news about Tom Steyer is his advertising campaign isn't working. He's just stagnant.

[A]

You mean a morbidly obese woman talking about hunger? Yeah, it's not working for him. Yeah, Man, I am devastated.

[B]

And then we got Katie Porter. Eric Swalwell swallows the biggest douche in the world.

[A]

He's dumb.

[B]

He farted on live tv.

[A]

That's the only thing I like about him.

[B]

I do love that. And he had a chance. He could have said, you know what? Yes, I did. And it was a good ripper, let me tell you. And you should have been there.

[A]

Swalwell's a fucking retarded douchebag, and Katie Porter is a retarded douchebag. And the only two things I like about him is one farted on camera and the other screamed at her assistant. Yeah. Demeaned her staff.

[B]

Yeah. Those are demeanors, and those are the

[A]

two things they don't own. I know. It's the only two things that make me vote. Like, I hated Katie Porter. And then I started thinking, she's demeaning to her staff. I kind of share that.

[B]

Anyway, the. The primary for the governor's race in California is on June 2nd. That's just a couple of months away. And so they. They better get some debates going here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who knows what they're going to do? Are they going to put everybody on stage and just make it a shit show?

[A]

A complete effing shit show, I'm guessing. Who's the polymarket? Eric Swalwell.

[B]

So stupid.

[A]

Number one.

[B]

So stupid. The guy is a retard.

[A]

We don't care. We like the way, you know, you know what we want California? We want people to fight for us and stand up to bullying and stand up to Trump and stand up to ice because we need to fight. Because we need to stand up.

[B]

I honestly think that a lot of this, A lot of this is voter fraud through mail in ballots and ballot harvesting.

[A]

Yeah, but we need no ID and lots of ballot harvesting. I like those films where they go out and they get homeless people to sign up, sign petitions and shit like that.

[B]

Nobody that. That investigation, by the way, just completely dropped off. No arrests, no follow up, no nothing.

[A]

Nobody cares now because it's not happening. Always remember when something isn't happening. All right, you got another one?

[B]

Yeah. Los Angeles jury today, as we record this, actually found Meta and Google liable in a closely watched trial accusing social media platforms of designing their products to get young users addicted. Awarding the plaintiff $3 million, and that is compensatory damages. So the.

[A]

Then there's a punitive.

[B]

The punitive damages could go much, much bigger. But of course they're going to appeal. I don't.

[A]

I kind of get it, but I don't get. Listen to me. Pringles are designed for you to eat the whole can. Right. Doritos are not made for you to have one. They're made for you to have the bag. Right. And they're engineered. Yeah. And cigarettes are designed to be smoked. And Percocet, but they do better when you take 10 every day of your life.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So, you know, maybe we're getting back to this. They could invent a tire that never wore out or something like that. Here's what I'm just gonna say. Video games could be addicting. Scrolling on your phone could be addicting. The algorithms. Addicting. Yeah. You're gonna be sitting there eating your Pringles and scrolling on something that's addicting. And at some point, you may be smoking, you may be drinking, you may be doing every. Here's. You know, whether you sell tacos, cigarettes, video games, or your big tech one and done is not your business model. No.

[B]

You're in the business to make money.

[A]

You want to sell a lot of tacos, you want to hook, and you want that fucking person to come back and keep buying your tacos. Right. Or your cigarettes or your Percocet or whatever it is your. You're in a volume business, okay? So that's kind of baked into the cake. Like, I get it now. There's a thing where you put lead in your Pringles, which gets everyone to buy more Pringles, but poisons people. And then we got a lawsuit. But listen to me, everyone. At some point, you're gonna have to be in charge of yourself. There is a. First off, fast food is now open 24 hours. You are going to have to be. And it's. You know, even though people complain, it is really cheap to go to Taco Bell. And Taco bell's open until 2 in the morning. So you're going to have to control yourself. It's not going to be up to Taco Bell, and they're not going to comment, by the way, Taco Bell's not gonna do what a bartender does and cut you off. Although that would be fun. Fat ass comes in to get a burrito and you're like, hey, sorry, man. You've been overserved.

[B]

You've had too many Enchiritos.

[A]

Let me smell your breath. Yeah, I knew it. Taquitos. Yeah. Listen, sir, I'll tell you what. Why don't you sit down in the car for a minute, try to relax, take a little nap. I got a burrito blower. We'll blow into a Burrito. We'll see if you have any burrito breath, and then if we come out clear, or, by the way, a little field sobriety fat ass test. Why don't you give me 10 pushups?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Can't do it. No burritos.

[B]

Why don't you make 200 free lunches for Tom Steyer? Let's see how many of you eat.

[A]

Yes, your blood. Avocado content is over the legal limit in California. Sorry, you've been over burrito served. I could lose my license as a fast food entrepreneur. So obviously, when you lose £40, come back and we can have that conversation. That's right. Meanwhile, skinny guy comes in. I need a baker's dozen of tacos. Coming right up. Yeah, you've been overserved.

[B]

Well, what this lawsuit does do is it opens the door, Opens the door, cracks the door just a little bit for others to be able to sue.

[A]

Everyone's gonna sue and Google and also. Listen. And I'm. I mean, look, in a weird way, we tried this with rock music and Tipper Gore and all that stuff. I don't. I don't know. Listen, I'm not here to defend Big Tech. I am here to say, everybody, you're in charge of your fucking responsibility. Take your fucking responsibility.

[B]

You know, it's funny that. Pmrc, the People's Music Resource center, whatever, when they wanted to put a sticker on albums, I found out that the. The Scorpions, who were from, you know, West Germany and saw communism and the USSR and a major effing crackdown, when they found out that it was a sticker they were gonna put on, the band laughed and was like, oh, that we still get to do it. We just have to put a sticker on it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Not much for a guy that's been behind a wall. Right. We are the Scorpions, and we can continue with the rock and roll.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. I got stuff. Do you got any more?

[B]

I got a couple more, but. What do you got?

[A]

Give me. Tell me the two you got left.

[B]

Let me hear. Belgian journalists smashed statues of Jesus and Mary and Mark. Norman versus Netflix. Oh, it's a joke. Yeah.

[A]

I think it's all kind of in the same vein, so give it a shot.

[B]

All right, we got some video of this, I believe, journalists in Belgium smashing a Jesus and a Mary figurine. But they were asked if they would do it with Muhammad, and they're like, no, no, absolutely not.

[A]

Right, Right. Because. All right, we'll play it.

[B]

So.

[J]

Let me ask you a question, because you mentioned Respect, respecting each other. I'm thinking of respect towards all of the listeners. You played a video in there. What was it? The smashing video. You were doing a smashing class.

[C]

We had a rage room because we were beating the blue out of the Monday so people could text us, like, I have a really. A blue Monday because my car broke and everything. It was, okay, I will smash something for you, Callum.

[J]

Smash.

[C]

And then he was out. He like, wow, this really felt good.

[J]

And it was pretty intense. And I saw on one part you had a statue of Jesus. Now, I know you laugh, but do you think that for many listeners, they would find that so deeply offensive to take a. A bat and to smash Jesus into pieces?

[C]

Wasn't it Madonna, by the way? No, it was.

[J]

There was. There was one, I think of Madonna, the Madonna and the Child, and there was one of Jesus.

[E]

So the thing. That's a very good question, because I think it might offend people. I think in Belgium, not really, we're not a very religious country anymore. Definitely not the listeners of Studio Brussels. But what we did, all the things we smashed, we made it very clear as well that these were all things that were already broken. So the statue, it was turned face towards the back of the room so you wouldn't see the face as well. Because that. That was already.

[B]

It was a broken statue as well.

[E]

But I think I would have been more careful in another country. Definitely in Belgium, it is not a big issue.

[J]

Let me ask you this. If you were doing the video again, would you smash a symbol of the prophet Muhammad?

[E]

That is a very dangerous one.

[J]

You wouldn't do it. Why not?

[C]

No, because that would be inappropriate. Because in Belgium, there are many.

[J]

But there are Christians too.

[B]

I know the Pope.

[A]

Physics. Because you're fucking scared. They're cutting out because you're scared. Exactly. They go, Charlie Hendo.

[B]

That's where the defense of all of this comes in, is no, because they will kill us.

[A]

That's what we know. We're not supposed to say stuff like that, but we know all this stuff which is funny. And then there is Mark Norman stand up special on Netflix. Very funny, by the way. Lots of. Of jokes. In a world where people are cutting back on jokes, he's. He's telling jokes.

[B]

Well, he talks about a conference call he had with the executives at Netflix who had some issues with a Muslim joke.

[A]

Let's watch.

[F]

So he'd like to not use the Muslim joke. And I go, well, I like the joke. It kills. It's a hot joke. And, you know, no one touches Muzz. I like the idea of like, like

[A]

Islamic extremists using smithereens.

[F]

We blow you up to smithereens. You never know. It's a common term. Smithereens is funny. They, you know, Charlie Hedbo got smithereened.

[A]

I'd love to know the origin of smithereens. We don't need it later on.

[F]

But that's funny.

[A]

The idea of smithereens being in the

[F]

letter is very good. Where did that got to be a Bugs Bunny line or something? On the back burner there, fatty. That's good stuff. All right, all right. So they gotta blow it up to smithereens. So I'm on the call, like, oh, I thought this is going to be like, we're cutting your money. We're taking the special down. We don't. Like, you don't stop. Stop writing us letters. But they're like, we want to take out the Muslim joke. And they're very. The whole special, not just the clip. Well, that's what I thought. So I was like, I got to fight for the joke here, folks. You, you approved it. Now you're going back. And they're like, well, okay, we'll keep it in the hour, but we got to get it off socials. And I said, why? What's the difference? And they go, well, socials is where all the shit starts, right? You go put shit on the Internet. That's where the fire fucking, the pile on the retweets, the sharing. You can't comment on a TV screen, you know, Right? So they're like, well, we got to take it off. So that's a. That's a no brainer. And I was like, okay, okay. I don't love it, but okay, I will take it off on one condition. And they said, all right, what do you want to hear? What do you want? And I go, I want you to admit on this call that there are dangerous people. Oh, geez. And they were like, what? No, what are you crazy? And I'm like, you gotta admit it or I'm keeping it or I'm posting it. Yeah, I mean, I'm half joking. But they were like, you could hear like a. In the back, like a horse is walking. I was like, douches, that's all I need. And they go, well, we're not gonna do that. And I'm like, why not? They go, well, that's offensive. And I go, that's what the call is. You're calling about this and I just need you to say it out loud. You know me I need acknowledgement, Jerry.

[A]

I like acknowledgement.

[F]

Everyone wants acknowledgement.

[B]

Makes sense.

[A]

Yes, I know. Everyone knows the truth, by the way. That's why no prominent black lives in a black neighborhood. Because there's too much fucking crime. They'd rather just go to a, you know, okay, Charlize Theron has the adopted black kids, talks about how racist this country is. Where's she living in Compton. All white neighbors. The BLM leader, Chick moves to Topanga Canyon, which is the whitest place in America, cuz she knows the truth. So we're living in a time when everyone knows the truth, no one's allowed to say anything about it because then you're gonna be prompt and some. By the way, the problem with a lot of these places like England is no one wanted to say anything about it and got in trouble if they did. And now they're crawling with fucking Muslims and they've destroyed their society. Right, sorry, but by the way, the Muslims are there to destroy your society. The joke about them is they don't get that it all goes away once they get in charge. They act like the society. It's like I always say that it's like the indigenous people want the land back of California where, okay, there wouldn't be any Golden Gate Bridge if you fuckers lived here the whole time. You'd just be fighting each other and riding horses. Horses with no saddles.

[B]

Well, it's the same argument.

[A]

Slave training Immigrants built America.

[B]

Well, not recently. Yeah, a couple hundred years ago.

[A]

Sure. The other day. All right, it's all the slaves built America. When did they put down the hammers? Because I've never worked with a black guy in these trades. All right, I gotta yell at one guy real quick.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

Which is, which is Pritzker. Pritzker is. He's decided to get his fat ass to go down to the airport and yell about ice, right? Because he's got a big ICE issue and I want to just yell something at him real quick. Go ahead and play it, sir.

[B]

There have been real failures. Those failures, of course extend beyond the borders of Illinois.

[A]

They're national failures.

[B]

A failure to have comprehensive of immigration reform. A failure of the President to follow his own edict to go after the

[A]

worst of the worst.

[B]

There have been.

[A]

Okay, his own edict. Okay, so the problem is you got 18 year old girl, she was executed by an illegal. You live in a sanctuary state, in a sanctuary city. So it's Trump's fault. He said, Trump said he was gonna go after the worst of the worst by the way you can just go after the worst. We don't need.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

We don't need that pecking order. This guy killed this person.

[B]

He's just the worst.

[A]

Skinned them and made a lampsh out of them. Okay, we just have killing people. All right? Trump said he's gonna have to worse to worse, you fat idiot. Here's the deal. The guy who just got done executing this 18 year old was not a criminal. He was just here in your sanctuary city illegally. He'd been caught for shoplifting. You would have complained that he. All he did was shoplift two years ago and ICE is coming after him and deporting him. You would have fucking squealed like a stuck pig, you fat ass. Now at some point that guy who wasn't the worst of the worst, he was just a shoplifter, ends up snuffing out an 18 year old young girl. Yeah. Now he is a killer. Yeah, you got your wish, bitch.

[B]

That's too logical. Too logical, too logical.

[A]

Paget Brewster, everybody. Touch me is the name of her film me tomorrow night and Saturday. Hold on. Norfolk, Nebraska which the guy pronounced differently when I spoke to him today. So I may be screwing that up. District Event center early show Fridays about sold out but there's other shows then Sunday early shows, late shows sold out. Lincoln, Nebraska go to mcroll.com for all that.

[B]

Dawson, North Hollywood Friday night comedy Chateau Returning the stage for Friday night show.

[A]

Till next time, Adam Crawford, Padgett and Dawson saying leave us a voicemail at

[B]

888-634-1744 so you remembered it this time and get tickets to see Adam [e-mail].

[D]

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

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[D]

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[C]

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[D]

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You swear if I'm lying, I'm dying.

[D]

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[A]

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