Paul Chowdhry Talks Assimilation, Racing and Funny Groin Injuries

Summary

Podcast Summary: Adam Carolla Show – Paul Chowdhry Talks Assimilation, Racing and Funny Groin Injuries

Date: January 12, 2026
Guests: Paul Chowdhry (comedian), Rudy Pavich (news)
Theme: Candid discussion on cultural assimilation, immigration, economic disparities, cars and racing, comedy career trajectories, and funny (and painful) groin injury stories—all with Adam Carolla’s trademark wit and Paul Chowdhry’s sharp UK perspective.

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Episode Overview

This episode blends Adam Carolla’s freewheeling comedic rants with deep-dive conversations about immigration and assimilation (both US and UK), the peculiar realities of modern city life (LA, London), car culture, stand-up comedy survival tactics, and medical mishaps involving the male anatomy. Paul Chowdhry brings a British-Indian viewpoint, including family stories of partition and resettlement, alongside showbiz anecdotes and reflections on what it takes to survive as a comic. The second half includes irreverent discussions on gender, celebrity, true crime obsessions, and the pitfalls of political correctness, before switching to the news with Rudy Pavich.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter: Touring, Indian & British Roots (02:00 – 05:00)

• Paul Chowdhry on Tour: Promotes his "Artificial Indian" tour, highlights upcoming NYC and Philadelphia dates.
• Indian and British Family History: Paul recounts his family's experience during the 1947 Partition—fleeing violence in what became Pakistan, emigration to England, growing up in London.
• Adam draws a parallel between societal inequalities in India/California and the proximity of wealth and poverty:
  "California's Jay Z and Beyonce, they're both billionaires, and they live four miles away from people just sleeping in their own filth on the ground." (02:56)

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2. Immigration, Assimilation & Social Cohesion (04:47 – 10:20)

• Assimilation Debate: Adam argues that full participation in a new country's culture and language is vital and that "recreating what you fled" lessens the benefits of migration (05:00–06:30).

• Contrasting Policies: Paul and Adam compare the US/UK, UK’s tightening language requirements for migrants, and discuss multicultural urban pockets vs. homogeneity in smaller towns.

• Adam uses a "football in Europe" analogy to explain voluntary segregation amongst immigrants.

  "Assimilation is good. I live in Los Angeles. You don't wanna come here from Mexico and then surround yourself with Mexicans and speak Spanish and eat the food and listen to music because you're just recreating, essentially, what you fled." – Adam Carolla (05:40)

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3. Taxes, City Living & Public Services (21:01 – 25:00)

• High Taxes, Poor Services: Adam vents about paying massive state taxes while LA’s infrastructure decays, making him question whether to stay in California.
• Waste and Inefficiency: "It's not paying a shitload in taxes. It's paying a shitload in taxes and then driving through potholes and seeing garbage everywhere and graffiti everywhere..." (22:09)
• Paul jokes about UK tax rates, both agree inefficiency and waste are global issues.

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4. Car Culture & Racing Anecdotes (13:00 – 20:00, 68:31 – 76:58)

• Car Collector Chatter: Adam and Paul swap stories about classic Porsches, Ferraris, and racing circuits—mentioning car values, car guy networks, and notable encounters (Patrick Dempsey, Goodwood Festival).
• Living Dangerously: Adam explains how racing, while perceived as risky, comes with more safety than casual "regular" risky behaviors (like riding scooters drunk).
• Recent Tragedies: Discussion of the "Call of Duty" game creator dying in a Ferrari crash, how abrupt stops and small mistakes can be fatal.
• Adam: "The stuff that's dangerous, where people know it's dangerous, they plan for it...life is safer doing something you know is dangerous than just riding a scooter hungover in flip-flops."

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5. Comedy Careers: Surviving, Controversy, Cancel Culture (29:35 – 38:00)

• Stand-Up vs Acting: Paul highlights the comparative autonomy of comics—"We write material. We're out there."

• Comedians and Cancellation: Adam and Paul discuss Louis CK’s comeback, the importance of owning your own platform, and Liz CK's deliberate, unapologetic return.

• Notable quotes about the nature of the business:

  "As a comedian... I completely agree: the control of your destiny." – Adam Carolla (29:58)

• Funny Groin Injuries: Extended banter on medical mishaps ("priapism," cameras in the penis, Kimmel’s urethral rods).

  • Hilarious, graphic, and surprisingly informative.

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6. Language, Names & Cross-Cultural Humor (54:54 – 65:00)

• John Doe vs Joe Bloggs: Cross-Atlantic differences in naming unidentified people and slang; playful exploration of what happens when someone transitions and needs a new "Jane Doe" equivalent.

7. True Crime, Celebrity Obsession & Political Aesthetics (61:36 – 64:00)

• Why Women Love Serial Killers: Fascination with attractive murderers, the effect of aesthetics on judgment (Gavin Newsom, George Clooney comparisons).
• Adam theorizes about the problem with aesthetics trumping morality, referencing how “cute” politicians fare better.

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8. Podcasting & Media Landscape (46:05 – 49:16)

• Podcasting’s Mainstreaming: Adam is recognized as a podcast pioneer, with Paul calling him "the Adam, forget Eve, of podcasting" (46:42).
• Media Fragmentation: Both reflect on the shift from communal, cross-guest podcasting to siloed, in-house shows.

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9. Societal Trends & DEI Critique (106:04 – 111:41)

• DEI and Leadership: Adam rails against “diversity over competence” in civic appointments, predicting a future backlash.
• Political Selection: Critiques choosing officials for identity over qualifications (Kamala Harris, Karen Bass, Lori Lightfoot), with pointed satire.

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10. News with Rudy Pavich (85:56 – end)

• Comedy and Politics: Conan O’Brien’s advice to comics on not letting anger over Trump replace humor.
• Conflict Breeds Comedy: "You have to have a little bit of misery baked in." (88:17)
• Victimhood vs. Warrior Mentality: Adam scrutinizes the double-standard in modern activism, especially among women politicians like AOC.
• Animal Attacks & Crawl Spaces: Amusing stories about dangerous animals under houses, crawl space miseries, and what makes a “manly” way to die (“killed by an antler”).
• LA Mayoral Race: Mockery of celebrity political bids (Spencer Pratt), connected to Adam’s broader critique of DEI and local governance.

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Assimilation:
  "In Europe, they like soccer... I like American football. So then someone would go, why don't you go to move to Europe and start to learn about soccer... But then I get a bunch of guys who are Buffalo Bills fans and... we just sit and watch NFL football and all around us is soccer, but we like American football and that's what we're gonna do."
  – Adam Carolla (05:00)

• On Cancel Culture:
  "He got canceled, and he just went, fuck that. Do my own thing. I'll bring it to the audience. I'll sell my own shit, and by the way, works really well."
  – Adam Carolla, on Louis CK (30:59)

• On Groin Injuries in Comedy:
  "I've had a camera down the end of my dick...when they check your bladder, they go in...it's the pain. Having a camera down the end of your dick to your bladder and then you're pissing blood afterwards is the worst."
  – Paul Chowdhry (36:00)

• On True Crime Celebrity:
  "Richard Ramirez was getting women in the courtroom...These people are murderers, but because they're cute, you ladies are fans..."
  – Adam Carolla (63:03)

• On Political Selection and DEI:
  "We have Karen Bass, who's a feckless, hapless piece of shit. So we can't do worse than who we have. I think when people look back on this era...they're going to realize we're fucking retarded."
  – Adam Carolla (106:04)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:00–05:00: Paul’s family history, immigration, India/UK/US contrasts
• 05:00–10:20: Assimilation debate, language policies
• 13:00–20:00: Cars, racing, Goodwood stories
• 21:01–25:00: Taxes, LA/UK inefficiency
• 29:35–38:00: Comedy careers, Louis CK, funny groin injuries
• 36:00–40:00: More on urethral horror stories
• 46:05–49:16: Podcasting’s rise, cross-cultural impact
• 61:36–64:00: Women’s obsession with serial killers, aesthetics in politics
• 68:31–76:58: Car racing, dangers compared
• 85:56–100:00: Rudy Pavich’s news, comedy and politics, AOC, animal attack stories
• 106:04–111:41: DEI critique, celebrity politicians, mayors

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Tone & Style

Classic Adam Carolla: irreverent, unfiltered, observational, self-deprecating, blending laughter with sharp cultural criticism. Paul Chowdhry brings a sophisticated, dry UK humor and provides European/British-Asian counterpoints and colorful personal stories. The episode is layered with rapid-fire banter, real talk about the comedy grind, and raunchy but relatable guy talk.

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Conclusion

A lively, unpredictable podcast crossing cultural, comedic, and political boundaries. Beyond the laughs, the episode offers pointed insights on assimilation, success, societal trends, risk, and the absurdities of modern life—with plenty of hilarious asides about car collecting and testicle trauma to keep things relatable and real.

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For full tour dates, visit Paul Chowdhry's website.

For Adam Carolla shows and live events: AdamCarolla.com

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Paul Chowdhury]

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[Paul Chowdhury]

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[Adam Carolla]

You're welcome. This episode of the Adam Carolla show is brought to you by Simplisafe. From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, comedian Paul Chowdhury. And Rudy Pavich has the news. And now, Adam Carolla. Good to see you, Paul.

[Paul Chowdhury]

An honor in the privilege, Adam Carolla, the man himself.

[Adam Carolla]

Paul's a great stand up comedian. He's on tour. Artificial Indian is the name of tour. I think it's a six tour coming up January 16th, New York City Gramercy Theater and Philadelphia. Kimmel cultural campus. Spelled the same as Jimmy Kimmel, but there's also an Admiral Kimmel as well. He has a famous World War II naval admiral named Kimmel.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

And if it's in Philadelphia and it's the Kimmel cultural campus, maybe they're just looking for alliteration. I don't know. We could figure out how they were.

[Paul Chowdhury]

In the second World War in India.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

So when they colonized India, a lot of my family were working with the.

[Adam Carolla]

British army when the British came in there. Yeah. Tell me. I'm fascinated by India because although maybe it's the same as California. You have this wild, educated and super successful group and then just sort of piss poor, you know, medieval times, poor on the Street, California's Jay Z and Beyonce, they're both billionaires, and they live four miles away from people just sleeping in their own filth on the ground.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, that's kind of like most of the world now. You go, is that what it is to Compton? Within how long is. That's how we perceived it in England as well, just the way you described it is you'll go from one town to the next in London, you'll go from one project and the next town you'll be in in Knightsbridge, and you'll be inside. And they have to actually give a proportion of those areas to projects to help the government give people housing. So it's kind of all interspersed now. But India, I was. I've only been there a few times in my life. I did a couple of gigs there in 2012.

[Adam Carolla]

You're from England?

[Paul Chowdhury]

I'm from England. I was born in London, right. But my dad actually. And my. My dad's side of the family were. My grandfather was born in the 1890s, and my dad was born in 1932. So in nineteen nineteen forty seven, there was a partition. So after the British Empire decided to leave India, they drew a line down the middle and separated India and Pakistan. And then my father's side of the family fled as refugees to India, left their homes and their belongings there. And then my dad's cousin got shot on the roof and murdered by. During the civil war in India. In India. Well, then that side became Pakistan, so we had to flee. So we come from that side, which is now Pakistan. And then my dad immigrated to the UK in London in 1964. And then I was born in the 70s, and now I'm here.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's my immigration thoughts as I've studied them. And I've also live in Southern California. So I get it. Assimilation is good. But if there's too many in one group at one time, and then you just recreate what you fled, then there's not a real assimilation. It's essentially like saying. I guess I'd say it this way. In Europe, they like soccer, and the whole world likes soccer. They all like soccer. I like American football. So then someone would go, why don't you go to move to Europe and start to learn about soccer, about European football? And I'd go, okay. And then I get a bunch of guys who are Buffalo Bills fans and Rams fans, and we just go over there, and I go, come on my house. Bring some strobes, and we're gonna watch NFL. And we just sit and watch NFL football and all around us is soccer, but we like American football and that's what we're gonna do. And my thing is, and I know it always sounds kind of xenophobic and mildly racist, but I'm like, look, assimilation is good. I live in Los Angeles. You don't wanna just live in a place. You don't wanna come here from Mexico and then surround yourself with Mexicans and, and speak Spanish and eat the food and listen to music because you're just recreating essentially what you fled. You don't have a narco state, but you're not fully realizing the advantages of this country if you're going to do a little version of what you fled.

[Paul Chowdhury]

A lot of countries have this, so we have that in the UK where people talk about an assimilation of people that will come. But who controls that? I don't think who's it? So let's say, saying the Mexicans have come over and then they all assimilate with only their own people. They don't learn the American language, they don't even speak English at the time, right? But there's no unity that say, oh, we're in control. There is no narcos because there's no leader as such that says let's do this at the same time.

[Adam Carolla]

So here's what you can't do. I mean obviously you can control some of it. You can go, look, we're gonna let X amount of folks come in from wherever, but we're not gonna flood it with that. Cuz that's gonna. And simulate what they left you would do. Also there's stuff like here in California, I think many years ago they did a sort of English only like they go, we're going to teach these kids English right at the top. Like you come in kindergarten, first grade, you're getting English and you're going to learn English. And then everyone went, that's racist, they should learn in their own tongue. And then they didn't learn English, you know what I mean? So there are some policies that will shape an effect. Now the politicians think they're being kind in going, we're not gonna force some six year old Mexican kid who speaks Spanish at home to learn English. But that six year old Spanish kid will be fluent in English by the time he's in the third grade and by the way helped his employment opportunities after that for sure. So are you being generous or kind to that kid by not forcing this upon him? See, my thing is it's like your kid wants to eat a donut for breakfast every day. And you want him to eat eggs. You know what I mean? And you're not being the nice parent by giving him the donut. He doesn't like eggs. It's like he's going to have to figure this out because we're going to have a bunch of fat kids with bad teeth coming up real soon. And so I, as the parent who wants them to eat the eggs, I'm not the mean parent. Contrary. I'm actually the one that cares more about the future of the kids. But politicians label that as the mean parent.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Or racist or whatever that is.

[Paul Chowdhury]

In the uk, they've just implemented that. You're going to have to know English to. They say A level standard. An England. A level would be. What would it be just before you go to college over here? High school. So your last ever exam, high school. You have to be at that level to get into the UK Now.

[Adam Carolla]

Really.

[Paul Chowdhury]

So that's what's happening in the uk.

[Adam Carolla]

So is the uk, by the way, Admiral, his name is Husband E. Kimmel. Husband's name, husband E. Kimmel. U.S. pacific Fleet Commander at Pearl harbor during the surprise attack. So that's Kimmel. But is the theater in Philadelphia named after that Kimmel, or is it the great Jimmy Kimmel? This could be a good opener.

[Paul Chowdhury]

If we find this out.

[Adam Carolla]

I think you got 20 minutes on.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I can do Kimmel.

[Adam Carolla]

The Atlantic fleet from World War I. 2.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Is it 2?

[Adam Carolla]

2.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I have nothing on this. So if we.

[Adam Carolla]

You better start working on it. You've got 14 days, bucko.

[Paul Chowdhury]

You've given me this, and I'm gonna.

[Adam Carolla]

You have a piece of paper. You can write some down.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I want to be taking notes.

[Adam Carolla]

Sidney Kimmel is the theater person who must have been a theater director. Okay. You're off the hook. All right. So is the UK shifting as. I guess places in Europe are sort of catching on that we need to do something about sort of mass migration? Like, we can't just have our culture completely usurped by another culture. What do we. Let's put some things in place or what's going on?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, I mean, we have. Well, globally, I think there's a situation with. They say mass migration, which is historic in human history. But then I think with England, any major city, there's. If you go. If you go outside of, say, London and outside some major cities of England, it's very white. So you won't see as much migration, but it tends to be. You go to New York City or you go.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, if you Go to Chichester Comb of Goodwood.

[Paul Chowdhury]

You won't see many.

[Adam Carolla]

See a lot of white folks.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

I've been there. You've been to churches. I've done Goodwood, the Goodwood Festival of Speed and the Goodwood Revival and all the Lord March stuff. Lord March? The guy who lives in the Goodwood castle flew a car of mine to his castle.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Oh, really?

[Adam Carolla]

So I could drive it up his driveway.

[Paul Chowdhury]

What car was.

[Adam Carolla]

Was a Ford Fiesta? No, it was a Porsche. It was a camry. Was a 97 Camry. The cloth interior automatic four banger, you know. I told him I didn't have the six. He understood. No, he said, he said, we're doing the history of Le Mans, like Porsche at Le Mans and blah, blah, blah. And I said, okay. And he said, we want your car in Chichester. And I said, okay, but when's the event? He said it was like, I don't know, two weeks or something. And then he goes. I go, well, you can have my car at Le Mans. I mean at Goodwood. And I'll. I'll go out there too. But how are you gonna get it there? And he goes, I'll fly it there, right? I go, okay, who's the guy?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Who's the guy?

[Adam Carolla]

Lord March? I don't know. Somebody in the booth can look it up. But the guy who lives in the castle where Goodwood is spent $10,000 or.

[Paul Chowdhury]

More just to fly it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, if you think about it like a first class seat, England's gotta put you back a few bucks, right? Well, you gotta fly a Porsche. The car's £3,000. That's Jet A fuel, man. And they gotta take it and load it and process it and drain it of fuel because you can't have it full of gas in the back of the plane.

[Paul Chowdhury]

But it was left hand drive, right?

[Adam Carolla]

The plane, the car. Porsches are all left. Yeah, Porsches are all. I shouldn't say all. I'm sure they.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I had right hand drive, 928.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you did? You had a 928 right hand drive.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I tell you, I think you could probably go your whole life and not in the United States and not run into a right hand drive.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

928. Which are getting popular. The other thing, I don't know why I just wrote this down. You ever have these moments where you go. I don't think these combinations of words have ever been put together. Or you could go your whole life. I was driving three days ago, I came up on a Volvo station wagon that Had a license plate frame that had the name of the band Megadeth on it. And I thought, I think I could drive for the next 10,000 years. And I would never come across another Volvo wagon with a Megadeth license plate frame. Charles Gordon Lennox, the 11th Duke of Richmond and the founder of Goodwood. I guess that's the guy who. Who flew it out. But he. He flew it out and they dropped it off at the Goodwood Festival, and then I drove it.

[Paul Chowdhury]

How did you meet this guy?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what. What car guys do is they go, who has this car? Like, who's got that car? You know, where is that car? So they go, you know the car. You know, Ford v Ferrari. The race. Yeah, right. Okay. And then Ken Miles, the guy who drove, was in first place, and I told him to slow down, and he ended up getting second place instead of first place. And he would have been the first guy to win the Triple Crown, which is Daytona and Sebring. And then Lamont. And then someone goes, where's that car? And then someone goes, it's in Denver at the Shelby Museum. And then they go, contact that guy. And they go, blah, blah, blah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

That's my guy who found me the Porsche at the time, because he offered me a Diablo, which was.

[Adam Carolla]

A Diablo.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Paul Chowdhury]

And a spider. And they were. They were going for 1.5 million pounds at the time. This was in 2019. 1.5 million in 2019.

[Adam Carolla]

A Lamborghini Diablo.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Oh, no, sorry. That was the Diablo. No, this was the Ferrari F40.

[Adam Carolla]

F40. Okay. And F40 is. I don't know, it's two and a half now. Million.

[Paul Chowdhury]

And the Ferrari tests. Was it the test roster? I've got the videos on my phone. I can show you the cars.

[Adam Carolla]

Testeros is a lot cheaper than F40.

[Paul Chowdhury]

The F40. And the. There's another one that was only like, 100 left in the world.

[Adam Carolla]

F50.

[Paul Chowdhury]

It's the F50. So there's the Ferrari.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, so you like cars?

[Paul Chowdhury]

I do like cars, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And you were thinking about getting a.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Well, they were 1.5 each, and then I was advised not to buy them by my financial advisor.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what they do. I'll say the Fiesta or the camry.

[Paul Chowdhury]

They were 3 million each now.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, f 40s are a lot and they move around a little bit, but they're getting close to three, and it kind of depends which one. See if you can find an F40 for our F4 today. I'm going to argue with you a little bit. I'LL go. I think you could pick one up for 2.7.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, you probably.

[Adam Carolla]

Or maybe even 2.5. But they're up, they're heading up the last. It's really kind of the last real Ferrari sports car. You know, gated shift, none of the computer anti lock stuff and rev match and all this traction control and all the bells and the whistles that kind of keep you on the road. Now this was not it because then.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I was gonna get the electric Porsche and I did a show with Patrick Dempsey. Cause he races for Porsch. Well, you got a Porsche, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Sure, I know. Well, Patrick's a friend.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I did Devils with him for two, two years. I did a show called Devils. I think it's on AMC over here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Oh, I did not know that.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I was a serious regular on that.

[Adam Carolla]

Patrick's a good dude.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Good dude. Really good guy. We were filming in Rome together six to eight months. And then. And, and so, and then I was at that time they just launched the. What's the electric Porsche called?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Taycan. I just have to say this, you know, growing up there were like four, four two Oldsmobiles. And you'd have to remember it's a Chevy 350 small block or something. There are so many cars, so many numbers and so many designations now that I cannot keep them all. I ended at RX7 and I don't know. Cause it goes. It's the Porsche, it's the 90, it's the 4, it's the 450. It's the 355, not the 462. Like it just keeps going. The 488, you idiot. Like it just keeps going. And then they make up names like Taycan.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, yeah. There's no more numbers left.

[Adam Carolla]

There's no more numbers. Now they're just taking mountain ranges in Africa and naming them. Right. Oh, so you like cars, Dempsey? Cool dude.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Cool dude. I think he lives around here, right?

[Adam Carolla]

He's in the Malibu area, I think. Not too far. You know, I met him a million years ago. He lived. I met that guy when he was like going through a kind of slow period for his career, which is all right with this.

[Paul Chowdhury]

We're going back to. So after he did the like can't bound me love and all.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

And then he took a. Yeah. Then it went quiet.

[Adam Carolla]

I like, I met Patrick, by the way, Ferrari. Between 2 and 3 million for the Ferrari F50s. I'm going to take a victory lap and say 2.5 on that, but they're up there. They keep going up.

[Paul Chowdhury]

But anyway, I'll get you cheaper from the UK, but it would be Ryan Drive.

[Adam Carolla]

928S are going up too, by the way. But only certain ones. But anyway, so when I met Patrick, he was like renting a house, a back house like up Beechwood Canyon, right? He was kind of just hanging out, smoking pot, had a Rhodesian Ridgeback and it just kind of walked around like it was like the year was like 2000 or 1999. And I was like, so this is pre Dr. McDreamy, right? So I was like looking at this guy and kind of going, I wouldn't call him washed up, but I guess you had a decent run with a couple features and now it's this. You're renting a house in Beechwood Canyon. And he was so, I don't know if I call it down on his luck, but he had so little to do that I literally, I got so tired of him borrowing my tools that I said, patrick, what do you got? He goes, I got nothing, man. I don't even have a tape measure. I go, well instead of borrowing all my tools, let's me and you go to the Hollywood Home Depot. You're going to push a shopping cart. I'm going to throw what you need in that shopping cart and whatever it is, you buy it and you're set. You won't need me anymore. And it's all the stuff I know you need. And in the middle of the day, in the middle of the afternoon, middle of the week, me and Patrick Dempsches went down to the Home Depot in Hollywood and he just pushed a cart and I just threw shit in his cart and it was done, was like 300 bucks. And I said, okay, never, you'll never bother me again for a tool.

[Paul Chowdhury]

That's normal though here in this town, that's a normal sight. You do that in London, you know people are gonna steal your phone.

[Adam Carolla]

I definitely would've got recognized more than him walking through that Home Depot back then. And then boom. McDreamy hits and here we go, that's it.

[Paul Chowdhury]

And then I did devils with him. He was the, he was the selling. It was sold on his name. It was filmed in Rome shot, it was co funded with America and Sky Italia. So it was an Italian. Oh really Drama with Alessandro Borghi, the biggest Italian actor out there.

[Adam Carolla]

Good dude, good racer, races with Porsche, does tons of stuff with them and just an all around good dude and a crazy car guy.

[Paul Chowdhury]

You're based here, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, maybe not for long, but we'll have to get out at some point.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Where you gonna go?

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I think anywhere first off, somewhere that doesn't have state tax would be nice, because pay a lot of taxes.

[Paul Chowdhury]

The thing, I think, don't come to the UK then.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What are you paying in the.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Well, it depends how you're set up as a business, Right? So I own. If you have a company, you set your business up as a company, and then you become.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, everyone does everything they can do, but it's still a lot, I think. I'll tell you what I think it is for me. It's a sort of a cosmic thing, I think, for me, which is to say, here's my wiring. My wiring is. I hate waste, and I hate inefficiency, and I hate just kind of redundancy and stupidity. And so people think when you hate waste, they think you're cheap. But it's not that. If I'm at home and something is in the fridge and I go, I'm not gonna eat it. My girlfriend goes, I'm not gonna eat it. And she goes, well, I'm gonna throw it away. I go, I'll bring it in to work and somebody here will enjoy it.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

And they go, well, just throw it out. And I go, no, no, bring it in. Let's bring it in. And we bring it in because I don't get paid. I don't sell it to the person I work with. I just go, I'm not throwing this out. I want you to do it. And so what I realized with California and Los Angeles, the thing that kind of bums me out is it's not paying a shitload in taxes. It's paying a shitload in taxes and then driving through potholes and seeing garbage everywhere and graffiti everywhere and seeing just how the city and the state is run. And then they go, oh, you know, we gave prisoners a billion dollars during COVID of relief from inside the prison. And I'm like, I'm picturing my money leaving my wallet and going inside of a prison in California and paying a guy to make pruno or get a tattoo or something. And I'm like, it's that part that's driving me nuts. If I lived in a city where I paid no taxes and I drove through a pothole, I'd go, well, okay, there's a pothole. I don't like it, but at least I'm not paying taxes in this city. But it's paying a ton. It's Like I tried to get my driver's license, whatever the new travel license is. I tried to make an appointment at the dmv. It's like, it's a six month wait. So if I paid zero taxes, I'd go, well, six months.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

If I pay shitload taxes, I go, why do I gotta wait fucking six months? I pay shitload taxes. That's the part that gets me in California.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Well, the taxes are high everywhere and I think everyone has these same issues no matter what. Unless we go and live in, I don't know, Nigeria.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah, that sounds sweet.

[Paul Chowdhury]

That could be a. That could be the way out. But then if you're like Anthony Joshua and you get into a car crash, they're going to just drag you out and there's no ambulance will turn up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What happened with that? His trainer was killed.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I think one of his trainers and one of his. Two of his good friends were in the car and their car. I've met him a few times.

[Adam Carolla]

Anthony Joshua.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, he's a good guy. He's from not far from where I was born, from the same area of the uk and literally, if you see the video, they just drag him out of the car and put him in a police car and then they flew him out to get him to a hospital. Because the emergency, there's no emergency services.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Paul Chowdhury]

So, you know, that's the payoff.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

We go to a country where over here, I assume an ambulance will turn up if we get into a situation.

[Adam Carolla]

It's true. Although if somebody said, look, I'll give you a choice. No state taxes or the off chance you and Anthony Joshua are going to get a bad wreck. I go, I'll take the no state tax. But yeah, no, I think there's a balance somewhere in the middle where you get an ambulance and no potholes and pay less in taxes. But I forgot, why did he go to Nigeria for after the fight?

[Paul Chowdhury]

I think his grandparents lived there. So he went. He's Nigerian himself.

[Adam Carolla]

The Nigerians are, if you were looking for sort of God's people, like the specimens, you know what I mean? Like the physical specimens and also mental acuity as well. I don't know that you could do better than the Nigerians. Like the Nigerians, they're guys that are, you know, they have good builds or they're strong or they're whatever. But the Nigerians, like Christian Okoye was a running back in the NFL and it's called the Nigerian Nightmare. And that guy, he didn't even play football. He Ran track because he was 240 and he ran like, you know, 9 second 100 meters or something. And somebody just saw him and went, hey, here's a football. Just hold this. And then you just run. And he was such a crazed specimen that he started playing football, the late part. And he's, you know, waist 30, thighs 41, you know, like just shoulders. I mean, they're just such specimens, like physical specimens. And then you interview some of these guys, like the smartest guys around. So it's like, I think if you're kind of picking the chosen ones.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah. Well, Jamaica, you have very strong people from Jamaica. A lot of runners from Ethiopians are some of the best runners in the world. They're not physically big, but. Yeah, I mean, to win the marathons.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, but see, that's the whole thing. Like what you're kind of going. You're going. We're talking renaissance man here. Like, you can't just be all muscle and a meathead, but you can't be a chess champion and a wimp. You know what I mean? I'm saying in the global. Who do you got your money on?

[Paul Chowdhury]

I met Garry Kasparov one time.

[Adam Carolla]

For every event, I'm going Nigerians.

[Paul Chowdhury]

We have a video of Francis Ngannou. He's not Nigerian, but he's not.

[Adam Carolla]

He should be. That guy.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Oh, he got.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's Christian Okoye, by the way, just running over people. Francis is what? Whatever Francis is. I'll take that second. He's running over Krone NFL players, which is the sort of. The sort of crazy.

[Paul Chowdhury]

What year was this then?

[Adam Carolla]

It was probably the 80s is when. Is when he. Like I said, he was a track star. So he was a 240 pound guy, but he ran like a deer.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Jesus.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is. Which is sort of crazy because it's usually one or the other.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I thought you were joking when he said his waist is 30, but his waist is tiny.

[Adam Carolla]

He looks like he has no way. He's all bicep thighs, huge quads and no waist. Like, he doesn't have hips. It's just. He just runs. He just runs over people.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Kids trying to just touch him and he just.

[Adam Carolla]

He outruns the fast guys. And the fastest people in the world are in the NFL. Like, the DBs are world class speed wise. They're running 4, 3 40s and he's outrunning everybody.

[Paul Chowdhury]

You were a big player, right? Back in the day.

[Adam Carolla]

I was good for like high school and maybe the second beyond that. But anyway. All right, so all Right. Nigerians. God's people.

[Paul Chowdhury]

The Nigerian nightmare.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, you had to see that one coming. So you know Garry Kasparov and Anthony Joshua? You met them both?

[Paul Chowdhury]

I met both these guys. I've been to a club with Joshua a couple of times. Gary Kasparov. I used to work at an electronic store. We're going back to the late 90s. You know, in my late teens, working in an electronic store in central London, Oxford Street. And Gary Kasparov had a game. He'd promote the Garry Kasparov chess game. Do you remember when he came into the store to. I remember meeting the guy back then, and he was, you know, this. I don't even think people know who he is anymore. Or is he from my generation?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if you'd rec. I know here we're dope, so we don't care about chess champions. But I would recognize Christian Okoye, I'll tell you that. So where did comedy come in for you? Did acting come in first and then comedy came first?

[Paul Chowdhury]

I started, like, late 90s in the UK, in London, and then acting came after. You know, I just think about. And I've never stopped doing comedy. Like, if I was an actor, I'd be like, I don't know how these people do it. Like, you were talking about. About Patrick. Like, there's periods where you'll have nothing, whereas a comic. We can. We write material. We're out there.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, I. I completely agree. The sort of control of your destiny. And by the way, when Patrick was sitting on his futon with his Rhodesian Ridgeback, which is a crazy dog, and just hanging out, blowing spleef in a rental unit behind a house up Beechwood. I literally. I felt sorry for the guy. Like, I, like, showed up and looked around and went, oh, boy, have the mighty have fallen. But that's pre. Somebody said something on the Internet or some tweet got out or whatever. Now you can be completely just ruined.

[Paul Chowdhury]

As an actor or a comic.

[Adam Carolla]

As an actor?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, as an actor.

[Adam Carolla]

As a comedian. Look, I had Louis ck, I think, and I'm looking at you, Dawson, but I think Louis episode's gonna air coming up in, I don't know, four or five days or something like that. I have to sort of work it out. But Louis came in here, and I sat down with him, and I just.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Did the cellar with him in New York a few months ago.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he got canceled, and he just went, fuck that. Do my own thing. I'll bring it to the audience. I'll sell my own shit. And by the way, works really well.

[Paul Chowdhury]

He did say to a friend of mine, has a club because Louis comes to London quite a bit. Right? So. But he says he couldn't go up to rooms where comics just go up unannounced. But he stopped. He had to tell them because he had a situation where he'd go up unannounced and people would complain. So you have to tell us. We can choose whether we choose to watch Louis ck.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. That's so crazy. Right?

[Paul Chowdhury]

You know, so he has that situation where he walks up and he get complaints because people want to walk out the room as soon as he walks up. So we have a choice because they're thinking he's been forced upon them, which is kind of. They're referring to the situation that took place.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think. I mean, he talks about getting canceled. I don't know. His greatest transgression, I guess, was he said, can I masturbate in front of you? To whatever lady friend was in the green room. I think Sarah Silverman said he asked.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Her, did he take his dick out first and ask, or did he ask and then take his dick out? If they said no, I like to think.

[Adam Carolla]

I like to think he asked first.

[Paul Chowdhury]

But they didn't respond, and then he just gets his dick out and starts wanking off. Or you don't use wank jerking off.

[Adam Carolla]

I know wanking off will work here. You put off behind anything. We know what it is. That's a common language. So, yeah, he's gonna.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I've never got my dick out and wanked. I don't know if I should say this publicly, but I can say that publicly. Cause I've never got my. But I would ask first if I was to say to you, adam, do you mind if I get my dick out and wank in front of you on this podcast? What would you say?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I love a story. I literally, I talked to a physician, emergency room physician yesterday, Jake. Good dude. One of the guys. I literally cite him all the time because I respect this guy so much. He's a dude from Minnesota. Ended up from humble beginnings, ended up going to Harvard, ended up being in the writers room with me when I was working on Kimmel's show. And I always liked this dude. And at some point, after making it to the writers room at a young age, like, you know, I don't know, 25 years old, he's working in Hollywood on a major late night show, and he's working as a staff writer. And he just one Day, he just sort of picks up and he goes, I'm going to be a physician instead. And it's like, jake, you're in the writer's room at Kimmel. Why do you want. You're getting paid a lot of money, free food. He's like, I want to be an emergency room physician. And we're like, do you have any training for that or anything? It's like, no, I just got to go back to college, really. And he just went back. And he's a physician in his adult age.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Going back to college is, I imagine, doing that now. I have nightmares about being back at college.

[Adam Carolla]

I never went to college. I don't have those nightmares. But he went back, became physician, and now he's in the emergency room. And we were sitting back there watching football, and he said, you know what I had to do yesterday? I said, what? Said, guy came in with a priapism. I said, hmm. I seem to remember that from my Dr. Drew days. That's a boner that won't go away.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Oh, really?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it says the boner will not go away.

[Paul Chowdhury]

So it's a Viagra effect.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But he took this guy took an injection, and he's on hour five of a boner that won't go away.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Hour five?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And it'll cause damage. And I said, so what you have to do? He said, well, what I had to do was inject the guy's dick at the base to numb it and then put a syringe in the corpus cabarossos or whatever. There's a cavernous. Basically, you get a boner. Cause you have two inflatable tubes on both sides of your dick that filled up with blood. And he said, I had to puncture that with a syringe and drain. And I had to wring the guy's dick to get the blood out of his dick. And it kept refilling, and I had to wring the guy's dick. And then at a certain point, he said, the guy looked at him and he went, is this gay?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah. That's good.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to ask, right?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, guy's been ringing your dick for 20 minutes now.

[Paul Chowdhury]

It's never good when a doctor's playing with your dick.

[Adam Carolla]

Ringing it, ringing it.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I. I've had a camera down the end of my dick.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you have?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah. When they check your bladder, they go in.

[Adam Carolla]

That can't feel good.

[Paul Chowdhury]

And then they feed it through scope and the machine. It's the pain. Having a camera down the end of your dick to Your bladder and then you're pissing blood afterwards is the worst.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah. It seems to me that the urethra has had only one direction for so.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Many years that mine has for many years. It's a one way street.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The urethra.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Whatever you're into these days. People put anything in any orifice and it's acceptable.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I don't want to offend your producers.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I get it. But there's an interesting thing in the human body that I've always been interested in, which is like when you're drinking and you're so drunk and you're gonna throw up, you know you put your finger in your mouth. Right. Your finger doesn't touch anything. Just the sensation of knowing your fingers in your mouth makes you go. But it's not touching anything. So putting something the wrong direction on the urethra has got to be. Something's cosmically wrong here. Oh yeah, it's that feeling.

[Paul Chowdhury]

That feeling is the. But they do numb it slightly before they give you something. That numbs it to a certain degree, but still.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you ask if this was gay? I don't think you need to in that situation.

[Paul Chowdhury]

George Michael did the procedure. I remember at the time.

[Adam Carolla]

So did you have kidney stones or something?

[Paul Chowdhury]

I don't know. I just thought, you know, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. Don't think, uh huh. I think. I know. Must have had some piss problem at the time and then thought, oh, I better get these bladders checked. And I think I got to an age where the doc said, get your bladder. And I thought, is there any other way of checking this bladder? Do an X ray. Oh no, we can't get to that area.

[Adam Carolla]

Jimmy Kimmel. Many years ago, when we were young at the radio station, his dick, his urethra closed up on him.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And how come I think I suck so hard that I just pulled it shut, it made like a vacuum. I sucked all the air out of it.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Did you ask him if that was gay?

[Adam Carolla]

I had to get his dick out of my mouth to ask. So I don't know if he had an infection or swelling or whatever he had, but he had. His urethra was closing and he was peeing like, you know, like someone put a little pin prick in the side of a hose, you know, it was like coming out like spray mist and it was hurting him real bad. And after the radio show we went to see the doctor. I think they want to make a bit out of it or something. But the Way to fix his urethra is they had to take rods that were kind of graduated, you know, like, kind of, you know, started small and got a little wider and yoke it out. Like literally taking knitting needles and putting them down your urethra.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, you can have. People do have urethral problems.

[Adam Carolla]

That sounds painful.

[Paul Chowdhury]

And when you get to our age, it's also.

[Adam Carolla]

It's that much worse when everyone around you is laughing.

[Paul Chowdhury]

He's laughing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Cause it's a penis problem, right?

[Adam Carolla]

They don't do that when you, like, fracture your elbow or something. They go, ooh, that's gotta stink.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah. Nobody makes sense.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. You want me to get that for you?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Can you drive? I'll drive you. But when something goes wrong with your dick, everyone just starts laughing.

[Paul Chowdhury]

And no one says that about pussies, you know, they never make fun of pussy problems. Dick problems and asshole problems for a man are comical.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Pussy problems.

[Paul Chowdhury]

You don't make fun of pussy problems.

[Adam Carolla]

We don't make fun of pussy problems. People are all ears. And they're very empathetic with pussy problems. Also, there's a code. What? Women know where there's a pussy problem, and they'll go, you know, like, I remember when your mom got older. My mom, you know, when she was like, 65 or something. And you'd go. She'd go. I'd go, oh, how's Dorothy Gravitch, our old neighbor? She had to have a procedure, and you always go, okay, good. No, good for her. Good for her. You never would ask what it was because there was something down there that you didn't. You heard. Procedure. You don't want to know about it, by the way. Yes. Sarah Silverman said that Louis CK Masturbated in front of her with her consent.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Right. She said yes. So she said it was fine to.

[Adam Carolla]

I was in a situation where somebody did that to you? No, like a guy, a girl. Two girls said to the guy, like, yeah, do it. You know what I mean? And he went like, all right. Then he, like, did it. Yeah, I was there.

[Paul Chowdhury]

You were standing next to the two girls.

[Adam Carolla]

I was underneath the guy. Yeah, I was. I was. I'd had a couple of drinks, you know, and I thought the chicks were hot, right? And I was like, go ahead, bro.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I need to come to your parties, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this was good.

[Paul Chowdhury]

This is.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a good party.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I haven't seen this side of America yet.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, the masturbation part, this is all new to me.

[Paul Chowdhury]

What do you think? I'm doing here? I'm not touring here. I didn't take this tour for nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Paul Chowdhury]

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[Adam Carolla]

This is the mantra. Free.

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[Adam Carolla]

You're welcome.

[Paul Chowdhury]

But you were talking about actors that were out of work.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Patrick was out. Patrick was. His phone was not ringing in to the year 2000.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, but I walked, you know, I was just walking down at Hollywood Boulevard yesterday. I hadn't come here since 2007 when I was doing like the. The Factory, Comedy Store back in the day. But it's changed that. Hollywood Boulevard, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

And the homeless. And you think I was thinking these are actors.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

That didn't get work.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they're all out on the street strung out on fentanyl.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Agents. One of them signed me. I've got representation here.

[Adam Carolla]

Now I.

[Paul Chowdhury]

By the way, what you looking at, motherfucker? I said, well, I need an agent here.

[Adam Carolla]

I got. I realized there's something wrong with me and my self esteem or something. Now nobody thinks that about me. They think I have an issue with self esteem. But there's something weird in me in that I am getting a star on the walk of fame.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Well, you deserve one. I'm surprised there's not one there yet.

[Adam Carolla]

God bless you. Now, I was informed of this a year ago or so, at least a year ago. And it's now sort of coming up that I'm gonna get this star on the Walk of Fame. I have not thought about it once. And, Dawson, you can be a witness. I never talk about it. And for some reason it's weird because I grew up out here and I grew up looking at the Hollywood, and it was at the beginning of every show and every entertainer, the Walk of Fame, you know what I mean? And the second I found out I was on it, it just meant nothing. It lost all meaning. I never. But I was thinking about the other day, which is, somebody brought it up. They go, we're gonna do the thing on your birthday. We're gonna get Kimmel to go out there. And I just thought to myself, when is that? And then I realized I haven't ever thought about it in a year, which is weird. Self esteem thing, right? I thought about it just a week ago and then my first. My. I first thought that maybe it's not happening because Adam hasn't talked about it. And then I said, oh, no, Adam hasn't talked about it because Adam's not thinking about that. So. Yeah, right. No surprise. I. I've done a. I've done some car races and I might think I would think about those car races a lot.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I go, oh, yeah, remember that? Yeah, that was cool. Oh, man, that was good. That was good, though. Somehow being in the. And like I said, growing up out here was such a part of our culture. Yeah, it was just baked in. And also me, I'm the furthest guy. I mean, everyone says that, but I grew up with dumb poor people. I was on a construction site. You know, I've had five roommates and a futon. Like, there was no Hollywood. There was no anything for me. It seems unfathomable, and yet I never think about it.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Well, if you think about the world of podcasting now, Adam, and what the world has become and the channels and the outlets for people like me, you are one of the forefathers and godfathers of modern day podcasting in itself. I think you should be given an OBE Order of the British Emperor. Well.

[Adam Carolla]

I should get knighted at least.

[Paul Chowdhury]

You should get knighted if there was a knighting for podcasters and where they are today, I think the originations, if you look at you, are the Adam, forget Eve of podcasting, in my opinion.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it was Definitely a long time ago that I started. And it definitely wasn't this podcasting. Well, you know, it's kind of interesting. Like the first time I kind of remember where I was where I saw podcasting in a commercial. In the commercial, which was for some pharmaceutical product, it was two women doing a podcast. And I remember thinking, and this is like eight years ago. But I thought when it makes it into commercials, that means it's universal because commercials are only 30 seconds long. And it can't be confusing. Like, it can't be, what the fuck are those bitches doing at that stupid radio station in their garage? I got a radio station. Like, you have to know it. What a podcast. Like, you can't. You can't do themes that are confusing. And so once I saw it in a commercial for, you know, irritable bowel, whatever, I was like, oh, I think we're in the zeitgeist.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Oh, yeah. Now, this is the modern day talk. This is the modern day talk show. Isn't it in the world?

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I guess it is. And it's. And it's kind of. It's kind of interesting and it's good in the sense that, you know, I think people say, well, now it's flooded. Like there's too many whatevers. And it's kind of like they've come.

[Paul Chowdhury]

From different countries as well, which I find a problem because all these podcasters are only surrounding themselves with other podcasters and they're not learning English.

[Adam Carolla]

Took me a second. They gotta assimilate. Yeah, it was a different. It was interesting. It used to be a lot more communal. Everyone would do everyone's podcast and then everyone broke off and started circling the wagons or something and like just doing their own podcast with their own whatevers. And they didn't really cross pollinate anymore. At the beginning. Everybody just did everybody's.

[Paul Chowdhury]

But you transitioned from radio to podcasting, so you're, you know, you were the king of radio in America, as is known in England.

[Adam Carolla]

I was, yeah. I never. I've done a show in England.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Which one?

[Adam Carolla]

I went and I did a live podcast in England probably eight or ten years ago now. And I never really think about going abroad and doing comedy, but that's something that would probably be cool, right?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Oh, you're a big comedy star in England as well. I'm not just lending to your podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

That can't be correct.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Adam Carolla, I've known of you for.

[Adam Carolla]

Well over 25 years from man show.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, we didn't really get that in England. But I. I would come back. I've been coming to America since the. Well, late mid, late 70s.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Paul Chowdhury]

So then I knew.

[Adam Carolla]

Mid, late 70s. Wow.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah. So I've been coming here since then.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's a kind of a weird. I don't know if you have this. We're kind of talking about off the air, you know, getting old, blah, blah, blah. And I sort of realized. I literally thought about it today as I was stepping into the shower. I just went. I have some view of myself as a perpetual 14 and a half year old who's not done anything or who would know. And a lot of, like, a perpetual. Like, I'm 14. I don't mean adolescent. I just mean, like, when people go, yeah, I've heard of you. And you go, why? Like that? My first question, why would you know me? Because in my head, I'm 14 and living in North Hollywood. Why you're in England. How you wouldn't know who I was. How would you know? And so it's always a thing. Like, it's always, like, it go, I have this. I have this way.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I think exactly the same. I'm like. And I think I've been doing this for over two and a half decades. And I'm like, that's how they know me. But I think, how do you know me? Like, when I say, you know who I am?

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I'm surprised. I'm always surprised.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. Like, once in a while they'll be like, you know the door and window guy in Van Nuys? This Valley sashing door. I'll go, oh, yeah, Can I pick? Yeah. The guy says, he's a big fan. I go, why is he a fan of mine? Like, I get confused. And then I do the math. Like, I go, okay, we were on tv. But also, there was a weird thing that when I would start getting famous and people would stop you at the airport and say hi. Everyone was always relatively nice. Except for one woman at one Fry's Electron.

[Paul Chowdhury]

That one always stands out, though.

[Adam Carolla]

It was funny. Well, because it made Dr. Drew laugh. Me and Dr. Drew were doing a show, KROQ. We were doing a KROC calendar signing. KROC used to have calendar signings, KROC radio stations, all the jocks. And there'd be a huge line of 3,000 people. And you would have to sit there up on a table. I bet you, Dawson, there's a picture somewhere of the KROC calendar signings from back in the day. And they'd put them in Orange county and they'd put them in the parking lot of like, a Best Buy. And the place would be packed, right? And you would sit there with all the jocks from kroq. And there'd be Rodney on the Rock, and there'd be the Loveline guys, me and Drew and Jed, the fish who recently passed, and all these guys. And there'd be like 11 people, right? And the people wait in line with their calendar and they would come up, they'd slide at you and you'd sign it, and you'd slide it over to Drew. Drew would sign it. They'd slide over to Rodney on the Rock and he'd sign it. And I started noticing it's kind of a sitcom. I'd be sitting there, like toward the end of the line, and we'd be there from 10 in the morning. And it's like 2 in the afternoon, right? We're just sitting there and I'm like, where are the calendars? What's going on? I look down and like, Tammy Heidi's bedazzling one and putting a smiley face and then getting up and taking a picture. And I'd be at the end going, keep those calendars. I'm looking out. There's still a thousand people in line and I've been here all fucking day, so let's keep the calendars going. And then they kept taking pictures, and they were literally putting sprinkles and glue and stuff on it. And I said, listen to me, I'm fucking leaving at 5. I'm leaving at 5. I don't care how many people are still in line, I'm leaving at 5, so you better get your shit going. And they kept taking pictures and they kept dragging along. And it got to five o' clock and there's still like 110 people in line. And I stood up and I said, I'm leaving. And everyone started booing. The whole crowd starts booing me. Because also, I was really the only celebrity on the station at the time. The rest were celebrities local on the station, but I was on MTV or KROC or whatever. So after that, me and Dr. Drew were in the parking lot of the Best Buy in, you know, Anaheim Hills or something. And I said, well, I'm gonna go in and get like a clock alarm or something, a phone. And he's like, I'm gonna go in there too. I'll go with you. So we were in there and we're like shopping around, and some punk ass chick came up to me. That's a good lesson. And she just came up to me and she walked right to me. And she goes, you know, you think you're smart. You think you're better than everyone. You're making fun of people who have actual problems, and you're dispensing bogus medical advice. You're not even a doctor. And all I said to her, I didn't do anything. I just went, beat it. And she went. She got startled and she scurried away. And Drew, that was the greatest moment. Drew watched it and said, this is the greatest thing ever. Because I realized you can explain or you can argue or you can talk or just one good well place. Beat it. Yeah, with a scary voice was enough to send her skedaddling.

[Paul Chowdhury]

It's one of the best Americanisms.

[Adam Carolla]

Beat it.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, we don't get that in. In England, that one.

[Adam Carolla]

What would your beat it be?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Fuck off, mate.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's too worse, too much.

[Paul Chowdhury]

It's people in England that you'll be. Is. Is. It seems to be, you know, it's. It's almost kind of friendly with a. Beat it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we gotta blame Michael Jackson for that because he kind of made it happy.

[Paul Chowdhury]

He made it happy.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you now? Is your missing person?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Joe Bloggs is my missing person. Joe Bloggs.

[Adam Carolla]

Our missing person is John Doe or Jane Doe.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Joe Bloggs is probably our missing person. You're right. Yeah. Joe Bloggs.

[Adam Carolla]

I had an English girlfriend once.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Right from where? I was surprised, actually. You mentioned people that don't recognize you. One of the guys on the show said, oh, my mom's a big fan of yours. How does she know me? He said, oh, she's English.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I had a girlfriend from Hounslow.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Oh, really? Yeah, I know the area well. That's actually where the airport is, where you fly out to get to this country.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all I ever got from her.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Which is, you didn't go far outside the airport then.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't go to her place. She lived here.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Ah, right, right.

[Adam Carolla]

But she was from England and she had a fun sense of humor. And I remember the first time I met her, she had this great English sense of humor accent. She was from Hounslow and she was hot, you know, And I remember laughing. She goes, I can't do that. And I go, you can't? She goes, don't call me that. I just thought it was funny. She thought I dropped the sea bomb on her. So she told me she lived in Hounslow, and I would always go, where's that? She'd go, buy the airport.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all I got. And then one day when I was coming back, I was in England. I was driving through Hounslow to get to the airport, and I was like, well, that's where poor Lindsay lived.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Oh, it's a shithole. It's a dump. No offense, Hounslow. If you. I'm going to get complaints for that. You can't say these things anymore. Yeah, I'll get counseled in Hounslow.

[Adam Carolla]

I do. That's. That's about. I. I was. I was living in North Hollywood, you know, I was sleeping on a futon. There's no. I'm swinging a hammer. There's no way. I was.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Oh, this wasn't recent.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I was not going to make it to. I was not going to be able to make it to England, to London. And I wasn't even close. I didn't even know where the airport was. Like, I didn't have. I didn't have any money. But I did ask her once. Your missing person can't be John or Jane Doe. You have to have your own name. When you find a body and there's no identification on it, then what's the name? And she said, joe Bloggs. But then I had a more interesting conversation with a guy who worked with me who was Swedish. I think he was Swedish. And I said, what's in Sweden? What's the name for the missing person? And he went, I don't think we have a name for that. And I was like, oh, that's good. That means there's not a lot of bodies washing up with no identification or headless bodies in the river.

[Paul Chowdhury]

You have a lot of that here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we got a lot. We need John. We. John Doe has a sister named Jane.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Jane Doe? Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It's funny. It is weird. It's also kind of weird that it's like, I don't think people do it anymore, but they would go, I'm transitioning. And he'd go, okay, so what? Who were you? And they go, well, my name's Darcy, but I'm becoming a man, so I'm going with Darren. And I'm like, you can change the whole name. It doesn't have to be the first three letters. There's a weird thing. Well, I don't want to freak out any of my family. It's like, listen, Tanya, you don't have to become Tony. You can go from Tanya to Fred.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, that's true.

[Adam Carolla]

I bet your dad would prefer that. Yeah, like you're already cutting your dick off or adding One on, like we're pot committed. You can go with the name. It doesn't have to start with the same letter. It's the last name.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I would just stick an A at the end of my name and be Paula. Yeah. Adam would be.

[Adam Carolla]

See? Paula. Paula would be the old way to do it.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Now I'm saying to you, you're becoming a woman. You're gonna cut your penis.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I am. How did you know this about me?

[Adam Carolla]

I got a guy named Jake who can help you wring that thing out before we cut it off. Get it nice and dry. But the point is, is, like, we can. You are cutting your dick off. You're making a huge commitment here. Your name does not have to be Paula. It could be anything. It doesn't have to start with a P. It could be Frederica. It could be Daphne. It could be any female name you like. Do not feel confined.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Sharon.

[Adam Carolla]

Sharon. It could be Sharon Tracy. I'm telling you that it's endless.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah. The possibility. It shouldn't have to be in a.

[Adam Carolla]

Start with the same letter.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Amanda.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I'm saying the same thing about Jane Doe. Yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Did you have Where's Wally?

[Adam Carolla]

No, we didn't have a Where's Wally.

[Paul Chowdhury]

We had a game where you find Wally in the thing.

[Adam Carolla]

We had a Where's Waldo, which is pretty damn close.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Might have been the same game then. So that was probably as close as I think it would be. Joe Blogs, though. In answer to your question.

[Adam Carolla]

But you also have to have a Josephine Blogs now. Yeah. Like we have a Jane Doe.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Never had a Josephine Blogs. Just some Joe Blogs, mate.

[Adam Carolla]

But what happened when they killed the hooker, the streetwalker female, and threw her in the river naked and there was no identification?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Which hook are we referring to?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we're talking about Josephine Bloggs. You can't call her Joe Bloggs. That's a female.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah. Yeah. There hasn't been. It's a bit misogynistic in that sense. I think you're quite right that we haven't. Societal changes may change that.

[Adam Carolla]

Look up Dawson. Look up English. What is Joe Bloggs? And then what is the woman? That's what we need. Cause we got John Doe, we got Jane Doe. And then we're gonna need a transitioning Doe. By the way, Wally is Waldo in North America.

[Paul Chowdhury]

It's Waldo, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Same guy.

[Paul Chowdhury]

It's the same guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Same guy. We're gonna need. There's gonna be. There's gonna be people who are transitioning, who get killed, who don't have identification and we're gonna need a they them kind of thing with that.

[Paul Chowdhury]

It sounds like you're planning something.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the caper of the century, Adam.

[Paul Chowdhury]

You could get your own Netflix special and series out of this.

[Adam Carolla]

I really could. Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby reindeer. What the hell was that?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah baby reindeer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

But anytime a serial killer. Serial killing is very popular on Netflix.

[Adam Carolla]

Women love serial killing.

[Rudy Pavich]

I was.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not that attracted to it.

[Paul Chowdhury]

No, it's like when I talk about this in my show, about when Ted Bundy was on trial, he was getting marriage proposals. And now people put videos off of Ed Gein on the show. And he's so hot and he's like, this guy would cut your pussy off and eat it.

[Adam Carolla]

Women are very aesthetically oriented. And so there's an interesting thing. It's kind of a problem if you think about it. So you think about this. Okay, so you get this guy Mangione and he shoots a guy in the back, the drug company, whatever, insurance guy. He basically executes a guy in the street in cold blood who has young kids. He's a horrible piece of shit piece of garbage human being. And then when they go to the courthouse, there's a bunch of women standing out front holding signs and chanting his name because they perceive him as attractive. He's a good looking guy. So obviously there's a little problem that women are having with the aesthetic overtaking the moral.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Richard Ramirez was getting women in the courtroom.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Richard Ramirez was the Hillside Strangler. Or was he the night stalker?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Night stalker.

[Adam Carolla]

He was the night stalker. Okay, so here's my whole point.

[Paul Chowdhury]

The Menendez brothers, right?

[Adam Carolla]

These people are murderers, but because they're cute, you ladies are fans and you go, all right, well how's that affect me? How's that affect me? We have a guy named Gavin Newsom who's destroying California cuz you dumb shits think he's hot. And now he's gonna be the President of the United States. He's gonna destroy the United States cuz you guys think he's cute. So maybe we should think about it ladies, a little bit and not just go. So by the way, they think George Clooney's a genius. Yeah, because he looks good. That's not how it works.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Sorry, the link there. I just want to clarify. Are you saying Clooney has murdered multiple women?

[Adam Carolla]

I am saying they haven't identified many of the bodies. So there's a lot of Jane does and John does in there. By the way, per Google UK is Jane Smith.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jane Smith.

[Adam Carolla]

So you do have a Jane, right?

[Paul Chowdhury]

A Smith is a very common English name.

[Adam Carolla]

But you should have a Sally Smith. Because we do alliteration. We go, oh, no we don't. We got John Doe. Yeah, we do John and Jane. Right, but then you guys got Jane. But then you have Joe. Oh, is that what it is? But then what happened to Bloggs? I'm confused now.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Some Joe blocks. I'm saying there was a clothing brand as well, I think at one point in England.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? There was a English band called Joe.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Shit.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it wasn't Joe Boxer.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Joe Boxer. What year was this?

[Adam Carolla]

Joe Boxer was an English band that had a kind of cool swing song called Just Got Lucky. I think as I'm looking at Dawson and who doesn't know what I'm talking about, but it was a very English beat, sort of, you know, when ska had its little reggae and a little bit of, like I said, specials. English beat. Like it had that kind of vibe to it. Where was just. Just Got Lucky by Joe. Joe Boxer, I think it was.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Am I right? Am I making that up? Yeah. The way I'm seeing it though, Joe Boxers is one word.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Joe Boxer.

[Adam Carolla]

Joe Boxers. Wrong. Okay? It's Joe Boxers. B, O, X, E R S. Just Got Lucky. You know that song we're going back to the early.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I wasn't into Scar music.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I would call it. If you play the first 10 seconds of it, you'll, you'll, you know it is. I don't know, is that 80 or something? I don't know that. It was like early. It was kind of midi. They're kind of one hit wonderys. But it's kind of a catchy, peppy song. I'll see if Dawson. I'll see if Dawson has this.

[Paul Chowdhury]

You're into your 80s. I love 80s music.

[Adam Carolla]

I do too. And also, I don't know, I mean, I guess music kind of reminds you of times and periods and stuff.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Don't to need time traveling.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Of course. I know this track.

[Adam Carolla]

You know it, right? I know you would.

[Paul Chowdhury]

They used it in so many adverts in the uk.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they must have. Yeah, they must have, right?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, yeah. Very, very big track in the uk.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah. I had a feeling you'd know.

[Paul Chowdhury]

This was filmed on the River Thames by the looks of it. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

This is like fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, very. Kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of a Dexie's Midnight Runner vibe to it. Just got lucky, right? All Right. So, you know, my real gift, like, people say, adam, what's your gift? Is it. Is it carpentry? Is it construction? I go, I'm good at it, but I don't know if it's a gift. What about cars and racing cars? I go, I'm okay. Mm.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Right? You've got good tracks here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you about it. But my real gift, it's not comedy. It's not anything. It's telling people songs they think they don't know that they're going to know.

[Paul Chowdhury]

That was a gift. The fact that that was a British track, and I'm almost ashamed of myself.

[Adam Carolla]

You should hang your head a little bit.

[Paul Chowdhury]

I feel like I'm gonna have to ask this podcast not to be aired.

[Adam Carolla]

Dawson has sat here and watched me tell people, you know that song? And they go, I've never heard that. I don't know, you know, the band. No, no, no song. You don't know that song. And then at some point, they get like, three seconds and they go, oh, yeah, I know this one. That's all. I sat next to Dr. Drew. That's all that was our entire relationship. Me going, you know this Drew, you know this one? He goes, nah, I don't know. By the way, at some point, just go, maybe I do.

[Paul Chowdhury]

It's like the old show Name that Tune. Did you have that here?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, we had Name that Tune here. So, you know Joe Boxers and Joe Bloggs and just got lucky. And it made sense that that thing probably made it into every commercial.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Oh, yeah, that was a huge trap. Still is.

[Adam Carolla]

And also, I don't think they had any other hits.

[Paul Chowdhury]

No, I don't remember. Well, then you'll probably play it.

[Adam Carolla]

So that one was for. Definitely for sale.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sorry, but I cut you off. You're about to ask something. 1983 just got lucky.

[Paul Chowdhury]

What's my question?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, race cars. Yeah, we got good tracks out here.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Tracks here.

[Adam Carolla]

You're talking about California.

[Paul Chowdhury]

And what do you race with? What car do you have that you race with?

[Adam Carolla]

I've done a couple professional races, a couple Trans Am races, and Trans Am series. Trans Am series is dangerous. You know, the thing about life really is riding shotgun with Anthony Joshua Nigeria is dangerous, but you don't. It doesn't feel that way. Here's where the danger in life is. The danger in life is you're meeting your buddies, you're gonna have a couple of beers, and then at some point, when you leave the bar, the buddy goes, we shouldn't get an Uber to the restaurant. Why don't we just use one of these bird scooters. And you got a little buzz and you're in flip flops and a short sleeve shirt and you're buzzing down Hollywood Boulevard and a drunk illegal takes you out. Right.

[Paul Chowdhury]

A girl did that in, I think it was in Australia. British girl was out there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Pissed out of her face and then rode into a guy, hit him in the back, he hit the floor, died.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's where the dangerous. Now what people. It's an interesting thing about life, which is the car got 900 horsepower and it's a beast. But first off it's a cage. You have to crawl through the window. It's not like the door opens or anything. You're sitting in a cage made of chromoly steel. And the thing has a fire system in it. It has a bottle, you pull a plug and the whole place goes with halo, like poof.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Have you used it?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I had one go off when the car was in the pit by mistake. But not.

[Paul Chowdhury]

It's loud as well, isn't it?

[Adam Carolla]

The fire stuff. Everything is loud. The engine line. But then you got a fire suit, you got fire rated gloves, you got fire rated long johns. Underneath your fire suit you're wearing a helmet with a hood, a fire hood under the helmet, balaclava. And you have a head and neck restraint system on you so your head can't break your neck. And you're strapped to this thing. And then you have a six way harness which is six way. It's not even five way anymore. It's two coming through your legs, splitting your nuts. And you're pulled into this seat, a safety seat essentially in this harness, in this fire suit, in this cage. So it's real hard for something to happen to you. It can, but it's hard. But on the other hand, even if.

[Paul Chowdhury]

It flips, you're caged in.

[Adam Carolla]

You're caged in. But on the other hand if you're. You got your buddies in your Pismo beach and it comes pulling up in the four wheeler and you're wearing your bathing suit and you get on the thing and you've had a couple beers, that's the dangerous part of life. But it doesn't feel dangerous at the time, right? So it's like there's lots of shit that's dangerous, but it feels kind of quiet and it also feels sort of pedestrian like, like yeah, I got a moped. Jump on the back. Here we go. And the guys Had a few drinks, and we're going down some road in Jamaica and some cover on the wrong side of the road, because we don't. We're not used to driving on this side of the road or that side.

[Paul Chowdhury]

The driver overtook the truck. But did you see the guy from. The guy who invented Call of Duty with his Ferrari?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I saw that crash.

[Paul Chowdhury]

He died.

[Adam Carolla]

It was crazy. And also, there's a video of that Dawson, the Call of Duty guy, But he. He goes through first off. It's so easy to lose control of a car.

[Paul Chowdhury]

That was a Ferrari.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. It happened so fast. It was red, and it was either Ferrari or a vet. But whatever it was, I'd have to see it. But it also. I watched it. It also looked like there was a concrete barrier and he caught the lip of it. Like it wasn't staggered. Right. All right, let's see. Is that SF90? Yeah. It looks like a Ferrari. Right. So there's a concrete barrier, and it looks like he caught.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Where's the barrier then? I can't see the camera.

[Adam Carolla]

It looks like the barrier's on the right, and it looks like it was set in such a way that he caught the lip.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Unbelievable.

[Adam Carolla]

Meaning if he slid into the barrier and slid along. It's the abrupt stop that kills you.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Well, it went up in flames.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, the flames do it too. But the abrupt stop is what kills you. It's what snaps your heart.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Well, the internal bleeding as well, isn't it?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there's an artery to your heart that just pop off. And that's why in nascar, they have the ball that gets the safety wall. Now when you stop, you're done. You're done.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Age eight. Didn't do that. Didn't happen to him. So, Anthony Joshua, the friends died because of it. Cut half the car.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Paul Chowdhury]

Abrupt stop. That's why he survived.

[Adam Carolla]

So that looked like he caught a barrier that should have been behind, and instead it was in front of the next one.

[Paul Chowdhury]

The barrier stood.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but if the barrier didn't have that edge for him to catch, he would have just slid along the barrier.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So that was a problem. He would have survived otherwise.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. It looks like whoever put the barrier down left the edge again. It can't be sticking out. It's got to be behind the one in front of it. So you would slide past it. He caught that edge.

[Paul Chowdhury]

He was worth Call of Duty. Probably a good few billion.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I would imagine. And then what? How old was that guy?

[Paul Chowdhury]

He was young. And then you were saying, what Does. So what you're trying to say is everything is dangerous in life. To live, you gotta live.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm saying go do your car race and stop worrying about danger just because something is loud or fast. Cause the stuff that's dangerous, where people know it's dangerous, they plan for it, they work it out, and they. When I did a Trans Am race, first thing they do is they go. You have to go with the marshals, and you got 20 seconds to get out of this car. You gotta be buckled in, helmeted up, strapped down, steering wheel on. Because steering wheel come off, door shut, Even though you can't really use the door, but it'll still flap open, net up in the window. That car has a net on the other side of the window, too. It's a net coming across this side. Now you got 20 seconds to get out of the car, which is weird because I never drove the car before. But anyway, the point is, it seems dangerous, but it is. But we see it and we plan it. And then there's the guy in the kitchen who's gonna. Oh, he's gonna take a turkey and he's gonna fry it in oil. He's gonna deep fry the turkey, and he's had a couple of beers, and he's in his flip flop, and it's like, one minute you're watching the Lions football game, you're drinking a beer, you're having a laugh, and the next thing you know, you're on a fire in your backyard. It's. It's. That's. It's the stuff that sneaks up on you.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Most deaths happen within the household.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, everyone who gets up, you go, what happened? I got on a scooter and we were on Mount. We were taking these beach cruisers down. You know, it's never. I was doing a professional race.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Most car accidents are within 1 mile radius of your home.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Apparently, because you're confident and you're relaxed.

[Adam Carolla]

I get it. The one I don't like is when they go, most shark attacks are within 50ft of the beach. Yeah. Cause that's where you are. You're not fucking swimming in the middle of the ocean. You're not dying a naiad. You're not hanging out by the buoy. Of course they're all there. That's where you are.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Most shark attacks, this is a fact. Don't happen at Walmart.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they don't.

[Paul Chowdhury]

That's a fact.

[Adam Carolla]

They're within 80ft of the ocean of the shore. All right, all right, we've said it.

[Paul Chowdhury]

All but like, I'm on a tour across the U.S. that's a dangerous. I'm on 12 flights in one month right now. I'm going up on stages all around the world. I'm on cars, Ubers, this, that, and the other. It's all dangerous shit. You know, this is.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's, that's safer to be at home. That's, that's my whole. Yeah, but here's my thing. Most moms would go, you can't do a professional Trans Am race. But most moms would say, oh, when you get to wherever, just hop in an Uber and take that back. So you got some stranger driving your fucking daughter back who's on God knows what medication and who knows what kind of shape that car's in or the last time they fixed the brakes or whatever.

[Paul Chowdhury]

So these Ubers here, I'm thinking is this. And they're literally right.

[Adam Carolla]

Just pile in the back.

[Paul Chowdhury]

Yeah, I'm thinking, no seatbelt. It's not gonna save me.

[Adam Carolla]

Paul. I'll give you the plugs at the end of the show, but people can go to your website to find the live dates. Paul. And I'll spell it out. C-H O-W Dhry.com for all the live shows. We'll take a break. We'll come back with Rudy Pavich in the news right after this. Homes.com. some might say Homes.com is the best home shopping site. It may be Homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or MaybeHomes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes. Well, what do they do? They go above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. And that's going to be you and your next home when you go to homes.com. homes.com. We've done your homework. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly. Yeah. Keeps your car on the road. They've got a friendly staff who actually know cars. Not just reading boxes, seeing what's going on. Let me read the box and get back to you. Now they know cars. I've been there plenty of times. Thought I needed one thing. Left with something else. The right fix. It's nice and it's nice not to get gypped and ripped when you go to buy parts, free battery tests in or out of your car and they'll get you the right one. If you do need a new battery, they got it. They'll find it. If you're a car expert like me or completely clueless, the staff is helpful. They're knowledgeable and they're friendly. Like I said, they held the door for me last time I was walking out with a handful of parts. So it's one stop. Shop for the DIY auto work guys and you'll find what you need in store. Or you can do it online at O'Reilly. Right, Dawson, stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts a day or visit them at o'reillyauto.com Adam that's o'reillyauto.com Adam. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Baseman went to the Honda dealership to buy my daughter or at least look.

[Rudy Pavich]

At a Honda Accord.

[Adam Carolla]

Asked the sales guy to pop the hood, pointed and said, what's that? He said, that's the catalytic converter. We can thank Nithya Raman for this. Chick stink. Piece of technology. Get it on. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. All right. Well, a remote version of the news. We're here at the Denver Comedy Works. It's me and Rudy Pavich. The acoustics are a little different because we're on stage and this is where we're gonna do a couple of shows. But we want to get our news in. It's a beautiful place. Denver's been awesome. We've been having great shows. Snowy winter wonderland out here. Sunny flew out to hang out with me, so that's always fun. We discovered Knight Rider a couple nights ago. Watched that from about midnight to 2 and that was followed by Emergency and the night after that. The $6 million man was discovered by Sonny. And it's such a weird thing to see. A 19 year old guy who's a film aficionado like Sonny watches this silent stuff from the 20s and the 30s, intellectual. He's a bit of a savant and I would argue even a little bit of a snob. You know, he's got the great directors he watches. And also these kids grew up in a Netflix era with Stranger Things and all the Breaking Bads and all the so much quality programming that they didn't, you know, they couldn't even get to all of it. You know, people like you watching Better Call Saul, it's like I can't, oh, you gotta watch Better Call Saul. You know, I can't even name all the shows because there's so many great shows. To sit next to that guy and watch Knight Rider.

[Rudy Pavich]

The car talks, but he's just.

[Adam Carolla]

He's breaking it down from, like, a story element, something standpoint. He's like, why did he let the gypsy kid drive the car? I was like, well, he wanted to drive the car. Yeah, but that was in the middle. And then at the end, you'd think he'd need to drive the car. Cause they were setting it up, but he never drove the car again. I was like, everyone's high on coke. They did whatever they wanted.

[Rudy Pavich]

Didn't matter.

[Adam Carolla]

There were three stations. Hasselhoff was king. That was that. And he just marvels. He marvels at the story writing. Like, how slow and plotting and boring and sort of they do things, and then they don't go anywhere. Like, they don't follow them up or anything, like. And he just can't believe it's that poorly written. But it's fun for me.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. If he had his mind blown by Knight Rider, I can't imagine what he would do if you showed him them Duke boys from Hazard county, because that is on. That has to be the worst show that was ever put out. But fun to watch. It was just like them guys jumping the General Lee over bridges. And it was fun to hang and watch it.

[Adam Carolla]

We watched the A team, and you forget. They would have, like, in the stunt world, they would have a gag that they loved, and they'd fall in love with it, and it just get really hot, and people would all do it. Like, it was like, it was sort of a trend, like fashion, like human beings. Like, if you look around, if you go to a nice neighborhood now and you look at nicely built new houses, the houses are white, and all the trim is black. The fascia's black around the windows. It's black. Now, no human being would have chose black as a trim color throughout history. Just off white or pale green or something.

[Rudy Pavich]

Pale green.

[Adam Carolla]

But black would have been weird. It would have been like, no, that's not Dracula's house. You walk around through a nice neighborhood now, or you see a house that just got remodeled two months ago or whatever. It's black and white. And so what's going on? Well, something is going on. Like, a trend is going on. And there's fashion, hairstyle, music, everything. Well, in the late 70s, somebody figured out that if they built a ramp, but it didn't have two ramps, just one ramp. And it went up about 4ft. And it was about 12ft long. If you drove a Chevy Impala at it at 55 miles an hour, it would flip in the air.

[Rudy Pavich]

Hit it with one wheel.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And then it would flip. And then all you'd have to do is put cardboard boxes and trash cans in front of it so the camera couldn't see the ramp. And then you'd go flying. And then if you filmed it from behind in slow motion, it would flip in slow motion, and even two cars would do the flip. And that's the A Team is just the ramp. And even when I was like 11, I was like, if you speed at a pile of cardboard boxes, you're not to going. You're not going airborne.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because it was always. They couldn't show the ramp. But what could you hit? What could you put on the street? It was always, well, put a couple of trash cans and a couple of crates. But it's like, oh, how's the guy go 30ft in the air then? But they flipped every car. We watched the A Team. His head almost exploded with the A Team. And then we went right from the A Team to Knight Rider, and he just didn't. He couldn't even make. But he watched every second of it and loved it.

[Rudy Pavich]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. All right. So we're in Denver. It's beautiful. Having a good time. Rudy set all this up. Thank you, Rudy. On stage. Comedy works. Let us get in early and set up. So you got you the news.

[Rudy Pavich]

Let's do some news. Conan o' Brien says he knows Donald Trump. Donald Trump's presidency has been very challenging for comedians, but they still have to find a way to be funny. The Conan O' Brien needs a friend. Host 62, shared some words of advice to fellow comedians during a recent podcast on YouTube on Tuesday, January 6, saying, yeah, if your only thing you're saying is f Trump, and opting for anger instead of humor, that might not be ideal for anti Trump comics.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the worst person to have in charge is a boring person in terms of comedy. You know, I mean, there's. There's what? There's boring and that, you know, the Bushes were kind of kind of boring and Biden was kind of boring in that he didn't do much. He didn't do many presses or whatever. And then there's the worst, which is Obama, which is black and boring, which means you can't make fun of, you know, Obama. For eight years, SNL never did a sketch on the president. Sure. You know, and like, when you ask, I Remember talking to my progressive friends about, like, don't you think it's kind of weird that they're not. SNL's not poking fun at the President. And they went, well, he doesn't do anything wrong. First off, he does things that are wrong. But secondly, SNL has to poke fun at the President. It doesn't matter if it's his first day, doesn't matter if it's his last day. It doesn't matter if he did anything wrong or not. That's SNL's job, is to make fun of the president. So boring is bad black and boring is the worst. Because then you're racist if you poke fun at the guy. And I don't know, I feel like Trump's the gift that keeps giving. Like, go ahead and have fun with Trump. But, you know, don't get mired in your bitterness.

[Rudy Pavich]

Find a way to be funny with it while also making your point instead of just making a point.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I agree. And, you know, the thing about comedians is, you know, the tragedy part is the comedy. I mean, the hard times, you know, the friction, the guys you don't like. I mean, you know, you have a guy who's in a great relationship. Like, if you have a comic who's in a great and loving marriage of nine years and can't find a flaw with his partner, well, you're not going to get a lot of comedy out of that guy on that subject. You have to have a little bit of misery baked in.

[Rudy Pavich]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. It's conflict is what equals the hilarity of what the material should be.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Now, I don't know. Now it's weird. Cause Conan is a guy who won't really declare things, but when people say things like this, it usually means they're a little more conservative.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. And don't wanna be vocal about it.

[Adam Carolla]

But also, it is weird that you take Trump derangement syndrome and you take someone like Rosie o'. Donnell. Now people will go, okay, well, what about your buddy Kimmel, which I just had a good exchange with because I found myself wearing this, which is the Kimmel sweat jacket on the trip. And then because it's cold, I put on the Kimmel parka as I was.

[Rudy Pavich]

Walking around Kimmel Mukluks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I was literally sponsored by Jimmy Kimmel Show. But I just sent him a picture of it when we were up at Red Rocks and he did a long interview with somebody about me for a change, which is actually nice. I never. You know, it's weird, ever since Kimmel and I broke up people. I would do interviews about Kimmel, you know, which is logical. He didn't do that many interviews about me. I did a lot of interviews about Kimmel, but there's somebody wants to do a feature thing on me. And so he did a long one on me, which is good. We had a nice back and forth. But Jimmy hates Trump. But Jimmy gets paid to hate Trump. And I'm not saying he doesn't hate Trump. I'm just saying at least he's turned his lemons into rolls of nickels. Now someone like Rosie o' Donnell just sit, her hair just falls out while she just loses weight and goes insane quietly in Ireland, you know what I mean? There is a way to channel it and actually do something with it. And then there's a way just to be destroyed from the inside out. And there's people, you know, like Keith Olbermann and Rosie o'. Donnell, you know, you people do not remember a time, but I do, when Rosie o' Donnell was like pink cheeked and fun and had a full head of black hair and Keith Olberman had a full head of black hair and was talking and NCAA basketball and was funny and vibrant, you know what I mean? And now it's like they got aids. It's like literally like Trump gave them aids. He did. Like, you look at, you look at the old Rosie, you look at the old Keith Olbermann and you look at them now and it's like, what happened? They look like they got aids. Yeah, Trump gave them aids.

[Rudy Pavich]

Squad Representative Aoc exploded at a Jesse Waters primetime producer saying that he has sexualized and harassed me on his show. She raged to producers. He has sexually harassed me on his show. He has engaged in horrific sexual rhetoric.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I remember right where I was like two years ago when I said if she was fat and middle age and from Wisconsin, no one had ever listened to a word she ever said again. And everyone went, what is that supposed to mean? And I'm like, what do you mean? What's it supposed to mean? I feel like that statement I made about her two years ago is like the most accurate thing you could say about a human being. She's an idiot. And, you know, it's kind of a weird, we're living in a weird time when women and really blacks and women and lots of groups are doing this thing simultaneously, which is kind of an interesting thing. They're simultaneously and maybe this is the first time in history we've been able to experience this. But they're Simultaneously brave warriors who are on the attack who are going to fight. You know, if you listen to any of their speeches, like, you want ice, you want to come through Minneapolis, you got to get through me, okay? Fat 57 year old house Frau lady with the weave. So you think they're going to have difficulty getting through your 5 foot 3 morbidly obese ass who has no training and no weapons. All right? So there's a lot of, a lot of these politicians, especially the female ones, are doing this thing where they're getting in front of the microphone and they're screaming, we're gonna stand, we're gonna fight. You pick the wrong person. I'm a proud Latina, I'm a proud black woman you don't mess with. And then simultaneously playing the victim, like, you know, he put his hand on me. Or there's sexual harassment or Jesse Waters said mean things, you know, well, which is it? Like, are you fucking Conan? Not the o', Brien, are you Conan barbarian? And then is there a deleted scene in that movie where Arnold had his feelings hurt or felt threatened by a centurion guard or something? Like it's, you're either fucking warrior and then spare me all the fucking bullshit feelings talk or you're not. But don't give the speech every 10 seconds about standing and fighting and fighting and standing and going through them. You notice every single speech is laden with a bunch of hero hyperbole where they're talking about how proud they're brave and how strong they are and all that kind of. And the next minute is Jesse Water said something mean. Which is it?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, which is it?

[Adam Carolla]

Are you a victim or you're a warrior?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. Be one or the other. Oh, no, they're both.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because what it is, is, by the way, the ice has to go through me and I'm gonna stamp and fight. Like, not on my watch. That doesn't mean anything.

[Rudy Pavich]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

That's basically. It'd be like me sitting in the back of an airplane. And they go, we got one of the engines out. And I went, well, we're not crashing on my watch. Like, well, we're gonna do whatever we're gonna do is what we're gonna do. So you're not gonna control it from the back of the fucking airplane. So there's that and then there's I was a victim, which they get to play as a card. And it also gets them out of doing stuff like, she doesn't want to go on Jesse Waters show and get destroyed by Jesse Waters. Sure.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. I heard an old saying once, which was, it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. And I feel like we got a lot of gardeners in wars right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? A war. Say it again. Slow.

[Rudy Pavich]

It's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. And I feel like there's a lot of gardeners out there who are getting really, really lippy. Not a lot to back it up.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, as I've said, women are going insane. And they're also like, again, they're standing in front of cars thinking they can block them with their superpowers and stuff like that. And they're getting run over, knocked over, shot. I mean, it's just, it's a fucking mess. But it all does come back to this sort of thing. We're talking about the rough and tumble play and not being. Everybody needs to be calibrated.

[Rudy Pavich]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And you need to be really tuned up. Now, that doesn't mean, you know, Brock Lesnar's calibrated, but he'll kick your ass.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But then Brad Williams needs to be calibrated because Brock Lesnar. I would watch that. I would watch that especially if it took a turn for the sexual. But you kind of need to know who you are. Like, I was, I was talking to on my show to like a year ago or maybe nine months ago, to Jessie Mae Peluso, who had to pretend she didn't know I was talking about because she didn't want people to think she was racist. But I said, hey, ladies, you punch a black guy, there's a good chance you're getting punched back. Like, don't just fucking slap random big black tits because you might get fucking hit. And she's like, why? She's had to pretend like she didn't know what I was talking about. But I was like, listen, we're in an era where the 130 pound woman thinks she can just do this, but then she gets a straight right and gets concussed and knocked out in an elevator. So calibrate is what I'm saying. I do not slap ex NFL linebackers because I'm calibrated, but the 130 pound woman is not calibrated. And she, her hand goes flying.

[Rudy Pavich]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And she's also not calibrated when she's standing in front of the van or pushing the cop or whatever that thing is. So they didn't need to be calibrated in the past because they didn't leave the fucking house. They didn't get into the scrum. But if you're gonna get into the scrum, you gotta get calibrated because you're gonna get killed.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. I was at a Metallica concert one night, Brock Lesnar. I ran into him chest first, and he just reached over and grabbed my pizza out of my hand and walked away.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Rudy Pavich]

And I knew well enough to just let it happen.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yes. I turned the corner, we were back in like the sort of like suites at the Target center in Minneapolis. I turned the corner, I ran chest first into him. My face went right into, like, his man boobs. And then I stopped and it was like hitting a brick wall. And I was like, oh, sorry about that. And he went, I like pizza. And he reached over, grabbed it right out of my hand and walked away.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Because Brock Lesnar has had a 30 year career of enjoying other people's pizza. Absolutely. That's how he's calibrated. Rudy's had a career of handing over pizza and spreading his cheeks and crying. That's how he's calibrated.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Speaking of, we had this conversation the other day. What animal would you love to be taken out by? And you said, definitely not a bear. Maybe you saw this video that came out of California.

[Adam Carolla]

I was. I was doing it reminded me of something. I wanted to write it down, but I never. Anyway, I was doing Megyn Kelly's show, her live show, and, I don't know, outside of Atlanta. And we were just talking about being manly and like, what's a manly way to go out? You know what I mean? And I said, the manliest way I can think to go out is to be killed by an antler.

[Rudy Pavich]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That ain't dying in your sleep. And that ain't ODing on fentanyl. Like killed by an antler. And I don't even know what the context is. Just killed by an antler is about the most masculine way you can go.

[Rudy Pavich]

Shit face at the cabin. You fall into the dinner mount that's hanging on the wall.

[Adam Carolla]

It could be, but that's still guy. Still more man than he'll ever be.

[Rudy Pavich]

I agree. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Lesnar. Bitch.

[Rudy Pavich]

Well, a man in California was face to face with a 550 pound black bear that had been living beneath this man's home for over a month. It is finally left in a bizarre strategy that ended a long streak of failed removal attempts. The male black bear was reportedly removed from the crawl space on Tuesday after bear removal experts. I guess those are a thing. From Tahoe traveled to The Altadena home. One team member crawled inside and fired paintballs filled with vegetable oil. Wildlife organizers from Bear League told Fox News Digital on Thursday. Do you see this video at all.

[Adam Carolla]

Of the bear just sliding under the crawl space?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, because everything is so AI nowadays. When I saw it, I thought, oh, somebody just went on SORA and made this video of a bear crawling out of this man's home with a little bit of vegetable oil on its ass.

[Paul Chowdhury]

And.

[Rudy Pavich]

And then you see the guy come running behind him with the paintball and it's, yeah, no, this bear was down there weeks on end.

[Adam Carolla]

RFK Jr says he should have used olive oil, that the vegetable oil is high in saturated fat. Absolutely tries to stay away from, from safflower oil, sunflower oil, seafood oil. He said avocado oil. Paintballs are good. Actually, a little news flash, we're working on it, but I was contacted yesterday by RFK junior's people. And when we're doing shows out there at the Kennedy Center. Are you in on that show?

[Rudy Pavich]

I'm not, I'm not. Because like next week, right? The last week of January, something.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that show's coming up. Anyway, he wants to come out.

[Rudy Pavich]

Oh, nice.

[Adam Carolla]

And he wants to be interviewed. And so I said, well, maybe we'll do one show as a live pod and one show as a stand up and for the live pod, we can bring you out and we can just do an interview as a live pod, be the guest kind of thing. So we'll keep you guys posted because it's something that's sort of in motion as we go. I've been in a lot of crawl spaces. I think you could probably measure one's life by good or bad. Like there's indicators and yardsticks to measure one's life. How much time have you spent in a crawl space? You know, because like, I got Sonny, he's back at the condo watching the A team right now, taking notes. He will, he will spend zero of his life in a crawl space. He just will. Now there's underneath crawl space and there's attic crawl space. But crawl spaces are all the things you don't want in life. Super confined, always dirty. It's always like, there's a dead squirrel over there, there's rat shit over here. It's always cobwebs. Like whether it's the always. The climate's always bad because it's always in the attic, 200 degrees, it's freezing or whatever underneath the thing. And you crawl around on your belly in dirt with Filth, and no one ever cleans. It's always just, like, cobwebs and shit. But if I've spent a considerable amount of my life in a crawl space and I realized Sonny will spend zero, like, I've spent a good. I probably pushed a car at least 26.2 miles, like, I think I could. I would say, Adam, if you covered a marathon pushing a car, I'd go. If you added it up, sure. Yeah, yeah, I'd say. I've said. Made it that far.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah, yeah. You had it in the amount of motorcycles that have broken down that you had to push, we're going maybe 35.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, 37 miles. The. The amount of times you said to somebody out a window of a car, try it now. Yeah, that's bad. Crawl space. We could add it all. Sure, yeah. The amount of time you popped your head out from under a hood and went, try it now. Yeah, try it now.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. I've always said if there's a just God, much like soccer at the end of life, he'll look at you and go, you get a little bit of extra time for all the bullshit you had to deal with. So your kid waiting for them to put on their shoes. The amount of time you spent in a crawl space, how many times you had to push a car. You get all that back at the end of life. And he goes, you get an extra 7.4 days.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'm looking forward to that. Probably spend that time in a crawl space.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I come out my car stall.

[Rudy Pavich]

Can you give me a hand?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. My worst crawl space was in earthquake rehab. You guys know this story, but earthquake rehab, you have to start underneath the apartment building in the crawl space because you have to pour the footings that then build the cripple wall. Yes. They call it a cripple wall. Sometimes they call it a pony wall, but I prefer cripple. And you go up to the header or to the joist above you, the wall above. Anyway, you tie it in, you shear wall it hold downs, whatever, all thread. But you got to get under there. Underneath an apartment building in Koreatown, looking at the plans, and dig footings to pour the concrete, to pump the concrete in from the street, and there's not enough room for a shovel. How do you dig? When you're laying on your belly and you have 34 inches of crawl space, how is it that you dig a footing? And the answer is with a coffee can.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Crawl space. They're talking about army crawl space. This isn't like on all fours, baby. Crawl space. This is. You are literally.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the crawl space, like department would go. You'd have about that much, like 30. The average crawl space, probably 24 inches. But. But at some point it always gets tight, like in the corner. And that's where the duct popped off underneath the bathroom. And you're on your fucking belly. Anyway, I think if I spotted a bear down there, it'd be a sort of. It'd be a happy day for me because it's all dead rats and dead squirrels and shit everywhere. And if I saw Yogi back there, I'd be like, all right, I think we could be friends.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. We had bats up in our cabin, our crawl space in the attic, and bats were awful. And we met this girl. We went to the, you know, we went to the hardware store to figure out what to do, and this girl said, I'm from Oklahoma. We have this happen all the time. What you do is you put a hole in the side of the wall for them to get out. And then you put a hook up there, hang a bucket, fill it about halfway with water, get a five gallon bucket, hang it off that hook. And what they do is when bats fly out of a crawl space or out of an attic, they fly straight out and then they fly straight down. So, you know, we said, all right, well, we got to try something. We went back, hung the bucket, came out the next morning, bucket filled with bats. Really must have had 60 bats in that thing.

[Adam Carolla]

They drown in the bucket.

[Rudy Pavich]

They drown in the bucket, they hit the water and then they can't. And they just keep piling on one another and they can't get out. Yeah, wild.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, that's on my. That's on my bat bucket list. Bat bucket sounds like something Robin to the bat bucket.

[Rudy Pavich]

Spencer Pratt says he's running for the mayor of Los Angeles. This just came out the other day. The reality star made the announcement Wednesday and from of a cheering crowd saying, this is not just a campaign, it is a mission. We are going to expose the system. The mayoral bid began the first anniversary of the Pacific Palisades wildfire, which since that day one year ago, Spencer has been engaged in a battle with California politicians ever since.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we have Karen Bass, who's a feckless, hapless piece of shit. So we can't do worse than who we have. I think when people look back on this era and they see that sort of DEI experiment we've tried, they're going to realize we're fucking retarded. And this was a huge mistake. Essentially taking people and putting them in positions of power just because they're black or female or Latina or the first openly gay or like, whatever that is. It's a huge mistake. I mean, like, as a society.

[Rudy Pavich]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, like, if I. If I. If you went to any civilization that has existed, you know, and you went, well, you know, how was the Roman Empire doing? And it was like, well, they were doing pretty good. But then someone thought it'd be a good idea to put a lesbian in charge of whatever. And they were like, well, was she the most qualified? No, no, it was more that she was a lesbian. And they, you know, they wanted a black mare of Athens. I don't know. I don't know history. But the point is, like, you'd look back on it and you go, well, of course it failed. They needed somebody who was really good at what they did. Well, it was more important that they have somebody from this tribe who sucked a little dick, who represented that tribe, who. And, you know, they wanted a more in there. And he'd be like, but. And then the society fell apart, you know. And then. What about the police chief? Well, they wanted a black lesbian chick to be in charge. Was she good? I don't know. She wasn't the best. But they just went with that because they liked the idea of having them. And you'd go, well, a fucking course. The place would fall apart. It would fall apart like a professional franchise would fall apart. Like, the Lakers have Jeannie Buss. She's a woman, super on top of it, super smart, super experienced. Let her run the Lakers. Fine. It's good. But if they just said, we want rando women in here doing it. But then it would fuck up the franchise and it would fuck up this club we're in. If they just went, we need this and we need that. We did that with. With major cities in the United States, like, over the last 10 or 15 years. We just went, here's what we want. We don't want some white heterosexual dude like Rick Caruso running la. We like the idea of a female. Oh, how about the first? The first. I mean, maybe now that we have the first of everything, We've checked every fucking box. But I mean, like, Lori Lightfoot, now Chicago. Chicago's fucking falling apart because of this. Every police. Every time there's a shooting or something, they have the police chief come out there. It's a big fat black chick, barely speaks English. It's like, of course this is gonna happen. It's gonna Fuck things up. And it's, look, everyone goes, well, is this some sort of, you know, attack against black women? No, there's. There's. There's plenty of qualified black women and men and gay and whatever who can do the job. But if you say, I'm running for President of the United States and the vice president is only going to be a black woman, well, then you got your choice. And it's limited. You've limited and now you go progressive black women. Karen Bass would have been the Vice President of the United States had he not got a dumb chick in front of her named Kamala Harris to be. But I don't know, last I checked, vice President of the United States, like a pretty important position. And you got a couple of dumb shits because you limited your pool so greatly. So this is going to be considered. I mean, we will look back on DEI basically, like we look back on Covid, like, this was a fucking mistake. A lot of people made a lot of mistakes. A lot of people got hurt. A lot of people got fucked up. A lot of cities got ruined. A lot of kids got hurt. Like, this was a mistake and we should fucking fix it. And people are scared, just like I'm pointing to you from Minnesota, the Somali thing. Like, I don't want to be called a racist, so I'm not going to say anything about this grift to the tune of billions of dollars, which will go on for decades because I'm too scared. I would rather watch this city run into the fucking ground and burn to the ground, then be called a racist. So I will sit here silently, and then every one of these pussy politicians, the white guys, the blue eyed guys, will shut the fuck up and watch the city burn to the ground.

[Rudy Pavich]

I'm also kind of blown away by that side. When they want their person in and then you go against them and say, well, they're not qualified. They go, how dare you? How dare you? And then a guy like Spencer shows up and they go, well, how about him? And they go, that guy can't run this city. Well, why not? Because he's just. He's a. He's a white dude from the Palisades. That guy's not allowed to. We'll give him a chance. You gave your guy a chance. Why not?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the other thing too that's weird is they go, don't insult us with this DEI talk, like Joe Biden. I know you don't remember this, but you announced the only people that will qualify to be vice President of the United States will be a black woman. That's. That's called dei. You invented it. You heralded it. You loved it. It was. It's like Michael Avenatti. You loved it until you didn't love.

[Rudy Pavich]

It, didn't love it, and now you.

[Adam Carolla]

Don'T like us bringing it up. It was your idea, you fucking idiots.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, man. We got to do a lot of talking tonight, Rudy, so maybe we should. Maybe we should bring this home.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Plus the NFL playoffs are on, so let's go watch a football.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going to be in the Pacific Northwest. I'm going to be in D.C. area. I'm going to be in New York. Lots of shows, I think doing shows at Rodney's in New York over there. You can go to AdamCroll.com for all the live shows. What do you got, Rudy?

[Rudy Pavich]

I'll be in Philly on Wednesday of this week, Atlantic City on Thursday, and then Friday night, St. Cloud, Minnesota, big show, Central Minnesota. St. Cloud at the red carpet main stage should be great. Please go to RudyPavichComedy.com get a ticket. We'd love to see you.

[Adam Carolla]

So until next time, it's Adam for Paul and Rudy. Say it. Mahala. You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the Ace man at AdamCorola.com.

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[Adam Carolla]

You're welcome.

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[Adam Carolla]

This is the mantra free.

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[Adam Carolla]

Huzzah.

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[Paul Chowdhury]

You're welcome.