Peter North + Freedy Johnston (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Summary of "Adam Carolla Show" Episode Featuring Peter North and Freedy Johnston (Carolla Classics) | Released February 22, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of The Adam Carolla Show, hosted by Adam Carolla, listeners are treated to a nostalgic segment titled "Carolla Classics." This segment curates memorable moments from the show's extensive history, featuring fan-selected clips that highlight Adam's signature humor, candid interviews, and engaging conversations with notable guests. The episode primarily showcases an in-depth interview with Peter North, a renowned figure in the adult entertainment industry, and features contributions from musician Freedy Johnston.

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Main Discussion: Peter North

Background and Career Beginnings

Peter North, a prominent Canadian pornographic actor, joins Adam Carolla to discuss his extensive career spanning over 1,700 adult films. North recounts his unexpected entry into the industry, initially aspiring to pursue sports journalism before serendipitously finding his niche in adult entertainment.

[45:05] Peter North: "I never contemplated ever getting into the business."

Industry Insights and Experiences

North delves into the evolution of the porn industry, highlighting the shift from straightforward performances to more elaborate and diverse productions. He reflects on the challenges faced, including the stigma associated with the profession and the physical demands of his roles.

[46:00] Adam Carolla: "It's difference between the volume. You know, when you go to the Costco and they give that little sampler thing comes a little paper cup."

North also touches upon the diversification within adult entertainment, discussing his limited ventures into genres beyond heterosexual performances and clarifying misconceptions about his personal sexual orientation.

[51:04] Peter North: "I am not gay or bisexual. I am totally straight heterosexual."

Personal Life and Relationships

The conversation shifts to North's personal life, including his relationships within and outside the industry. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining professional boundaries to protect one's reputation and personal well-being.

[57:09] Adam Carolla: "Have you ever done the show?"

[57:18] Peter North: "No, not right away."

Challenges and Controversies

North candidly discusses the darker aspects of the industry, such as the prevalence of substance abuse and the pressures of maintaining a public persona. He also addresses the ethical considerations of working in adult entertainment, including consent and personal agency.

[60:12] Adam Carolla: "People always think that was a 70s thing and it kind of was, but it spilled into the 80s."

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Additional Segment: Freedy Johnston

Following the interview with Peter North, musician Freedy Johnston shares insights into his creative process and his collaboration with Peter on the show's soundtrack. Johnston reflects on his independent career and the influence of his musical endeavors on his personal and professional life.

[100:58] Adam Carolla: "Freedy Johnston is coming in next. We'll do some news and all that right after this."

Johnston performs a brief acoustic set, introducing listeners to his song "Evie's Tears," a poignant track that embodies his storytelling prowess.

[164:00] Teresa Strasser: "I wrote a song about Evie's tears."

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Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Adam Carolla reflecting on the diverse experiences shared by his guests, highlighting the complexities of balancing personal aspirations with professional obligations. He encourages listeners to appreciate the candid discussions and the unique perspectives brought forth by Peter North and Freedy Johnston.

[197:12] Ralph Sutton: "I'm glad you chopped that out."

[254:00] Adam Carolla: "Hope you guys enjoyed all the clips. Tune in tomorrow for even more Peter North, Big J Okerson, and another surprise."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Adam Carolla [45:05]: "It's hard to fall back on your cock."
• Peter North [46:00]: "I lost count long."
• Adam Carolla [57:09]: "Have you ever done the show?"
• Peter North [51:04]: "I am not gay or bisexual. I am totally straight heterosexual."
• Teresa Strasser [164:00]: "I wrote a song about Evie's tears."

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Key Takeaways

1. Unexpected Career Path: Peter North’s transition from aspiring sports journalist to a prolific adult film actor underscores the unpredictability of career trajectories.
2. Industry Evolution: North emphasizes the changes in the adult entertainment industry, moving towards more diverse and complex productions.
3. Personal Boundaries: Maintaining professional and personal boundaries is crucial for individuals working in stigmatized industries.
4. Creative Collaboration: Freedy Johnston’s involvement highlights the intersection of adult entertainment and music, showcasing the multifaceted nature of creative collaborations.
5. Ethical Considerations: Both guests touch upon the ethical dimensions of their respective fields, advocating for consent and personal agency.

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This episode offers a candid glimpse into the lives of individuals navigating complex professional landscapes, blending humor with serious discussions. Whether you’re a long-time listener or new to The Adam Carolla Show, this episode provides valuable insights and entertaining narratives that resonate with a broad audience.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Foreign. Welcome to Coral Classics.

[Giovanni]

I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the podcast. We play the best moments, highlights and.

[Giovanni]

Fan selected clips from all 16 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Of the Adam Carolla show. We have a separate podcast feed titled Coral Classics with the ad free archives.

[Giovanni]

Available through Adam Corolla's substack adamcarolla.substack.com you.

[Adam Carolla]

Can find ad free archives for this show, the Adam Carolla show, as well.

[Giovanni]

As Adam's brand new podcast Beat it.

[Adam Carolla]

Out, currently featuring Jay Moore. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsdamcorolla.com now on to the clips. In light of the recent discussion with Big J Okerson about Peter north, we're going to play the very first appearance of Peter north on the Adam Carolla Show. This is Adam Carolla Show 381. This is back in 2010.

[Giovanni]

This is after they switched formats to.

[Adam Carolla]

Emulate the Adam Corolla morning show format. With a opening 30 minutes and a guest comes in. This episode features Peter North, Stephen Dominique, Teresa Strasser, Brian Bishop.

[Giovanni]

Hope you guys enjoy.

[Teresa Strasser]

And now don't step on his blue suede shoes. Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get on. No choice but again, get it on. I was just thinking of the disaster. Peter north topping off on Cajun food and then unloading on you the decorator filled with Cajun spices. Oh, that's pink eye.

[Brian Bishop]

This is a strange combination of guests today. I'm trying to wrap my head around it.

[Adam Carolla]

I just want to keep K North's away from my jambalaya.

[Brian Bishop]

I think that's fair.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, cuz it.

[Teresa Strasser]

And Dewey Sausage.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that was my gay poor name.

[Brian Bishop]

Now are you, are you very familiar with Peter Norris?

[Adam Carolla]

Dewey Sausage is working with Rocky Stucco again. Oh man, that's too temperamental. Divas. Best in the game though. Yes, I'm quite familiar with Peter North's work. They call him the decorator and he.

[Brian Bishop]

Produces a like Nate Burkus or. I don't understand. I've never seen.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know, I've never seen the dude. Fuck, I've only seen him redo apartments for fat chicks. Anyway, dude, yeah, he's probably done like 1800 porn films. Every guy. I don't know where it is. It's probably Ron Jeremy, Peter north and the just sort of porn to any guy between the age of 30 and 50. Yeah, so we'll talk to him. We'll eat some Cajun food. T's got the news Mike sitting in for bald Brian. Wake up Donkeys. The Internet is where it's at and I'm going to be an Internet sensation. And before we get started, tip of the cap to one of our new sponsors, English Laundry clothing company. You've seen me in my snappy shirts I wore in here a couple days back. Scott Weiland's got a collection. Does the electric combinations. Got the pat. Got the fabrics and the patterns and the whole rock and roll thing going. This stuff's really nice. They gave me like eight shirts and they all hang well, fit well, tight cut, sort of a throwback. The. The guy. It's kind of a mod UK look. Christopher Wicks, who's the owner designer, has the. Grew up in the uk. It's kind of mod rock meets soccer hooligan look, but really cool stuff. I don't like much of that stuff. And this stuff's really cool. And if you want to check it out, you can. Where the hell do you go to check it out? You can. Well, oh, you can go to AdamCarolla.com I guess you could. Yeah, that's right. You get 20% off. And they got stuff for women, they got stuff for kids. And again, you can get 20% off the entire thing just by typing my name into the Interco at the checkout basket. But T, Am I going nuts? How come I'm not seeing their website on there? Got a piece of paper.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm sure we link to it on our site, but I'm also not seeing it either. But I'm telling you, I am seeing. You've never looked better than, say, the last few days in a row.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

Are you wearing their T shirts?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm wearing their underpants right now.

[Brian Bishop]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know if it's the blue suede shoe. English Laundry dot com. There you go.

[Adam Carolla]

That's not on there.

[Brian Bishop]

No. I mean, I could have guessed it, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

I guess you could do the English Laundry.

[Brian Bishop]

Surmise it. English laundry dot com.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

Woven shirts.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Where the hell was that plaid you.

[Brian Bishop]

Had on the other day? One of theirs?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Loved it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Really cool stuff, like I said, from the best times. Sort of English mod, 60s, early 70s stuff. All right, T. Since we got a bunch of guests, we got a bunch of stuff going on. Why don't we start right up with the news? Straight away.

[Teresa Strasser]

From the International News center, next to Donnie's mini bikes, this is the news with Teresa Strasser.

[Brian Bishop]

A stabbing victim in Michigan spoke out, saying he believes he is the 17th victim of a serial knifer who's been terrorizing the city of Flint for months. Like it's not bad enough living in Flint. Police say the suspect is responsible for at least 16 stabbings, five of them fatal, and may be linked to other knifings in Virginia and Ohio. Cops have not yet determined if the latest victim, a 47 year old male who was attacked Saturday, was. Was linked to the other attacks which began May 24. However, the 47 year old said his attacker resembled the police sketch of the killer released Friday. He was stabbed in the face, the back of the head, the side and the stomach. He's still hospitalized in critical condition.

[Adam Carolla]

What the. You know, there's certain crimes I understand, and then certain crimes I don't understand, and then certain crimes where I need you sort of put down like an animal, Right. If you can pick up anything, a spork, and repeatedly, repeatedly try to jam it into someone's orbital socket or lips or just face or any part, there's something wrong with you, right? Like horribly wrong. Like, I understand the defending yourself when you get in a fight or warding off a cougar or bobcat or mountain.

[Brian Bishop]

You don't mean it to me more, you mean.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But if you could just pick a knife up and randomly stab people and you know, when they have these like, fights or these altercations or whatever, whatever these crimes, and it's like the person saying, and as I was running away, they were running behind me, stabbing me in the back. And you're like, where do you get the fucking motivation, you know? Like, don't. Don't you want that person fucking killed? Like, I understand the guy. Like, listen, some nervous inner city teen, he's going to rob a liquor store store, the gun goes off, freaks out, freaks out, you know, whatever. But like chasing a jogger and trying to stab them while they're running away, like that kind of thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, they say, forensic scientists say that a crime where you have to get close up, like a stabbing or choking, there's usually. It's usually somebody you know, because there's rage involved.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

In this case, it sounds like some guy's just stabbing strangers. I would you almost prefer that he at least had some kind of motive?

[Adam Carolla]

Always I prefer family members.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. I mean, at least you kind of get it. Like, yes, Sprewell shouldn't have choked his coat. But we've all kind of felt like, yeah, yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Dab your family members, please.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, God. One in particular.

[Adam Carolla]

Step monster.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, thank God, she's already dead.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

If I may, if I may, for 30 seconds.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

My. Well, the mortgage crisis has hit close to home, Adam. As pops is having a little trouble.

[Adam Carolla]

His house got another flat.

[Brian Bishop]

He was rotating the tires on his house. Oh, man, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Bad wheel bearings on his living room.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, he wishes he could change the battery on his house.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

There seems to be a little bit of a problem with the paying of the mortgage, which I just became aware of. Seems to be about six months behind. And guess who co signed.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, man.

[Brian Bishop]

Bad news. Yeah, it's terrifying.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, man. The flatbed's gonna come. Repossess your dad's house.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, the thing is, I would be okay with that, but they're gonna come after me in my house.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And I know the bank really wants that Koreatown mansion.

[Adam Carolla]

What can your dad's mortgage be? I mean, it came from 1300, but.

[Brian Bishop]

He has two tenants, and one of them.

[Adam Carolla]

He has two tenants.

[Brian Bishop]

One of them is my now deceased stepmonster's schizophrenic son who's 45 and has nowhere else to go. He can't pay, but he gets some. He gets something from the state, so he does help out. A few hundred bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, and the other guy's a stamper from Michigan.

[Brian Bishop]

The other tenant was a family of three. A teenage mom and a baby and a dad who worked out in the fields, but they had to go. They found their own place, so times are tough, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

So is he going to then rent out the back seat? I mean, the back room of the home he's living in.

[Brian Bishop]

He's trying to see if a family of raccoons would like the trunk he comes in.

[Adam Carolla]

Comes in after a long day. Where? Who left the dome light on? God damn it. I don't work for the power company.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I mean, it's you. I didn't realize that. You probably shouldn't co sign the loan.

[Adam Carolla]

Of a compulsive debtor with ozzy in his truck.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, no. What happened?

[Adam Carolla]

The same thing. At least I had a good relationship with the dealership. But you start getting the phone calls, and you start getting.

[Brian Bishop]

It's exactly as though it's your lo.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And they treat you the same. Do like, hey, man, why haven't you paid your money? Like, it's. It's horrible. And what goes on. I mean, I was. I was lamenting this to my wife last night like, my family has no money. Her family has no money. Nobody's like, what? What? What? I will kill myself as an adult if I'm, you know, 72 years of age and can't fucking scrape together enough for a round trip flight from, you know, LA to Reno. What? I mean, literally, like, I don't know, I mean, my family has this thing where they just have to wait for people to die and they leave.

[Brian Bishop]

They get their 12 grand, they leave their.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but what goes on?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I think in my dad's case, he's a debtor. He's just like somebody might be an alcoholic. He just debts, he buys things he can't afford and then he gets into.

[Adam Carolla]

Trouble in 30 days.

[Brian Bishop]

I tried to tell him get to Debtors Anonymous, 90 and 90, but I feel bad because.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, wait a minute, but what does your dad buy? I mean, he doesn't do drugs.

[Brian Bishop]

He bought a plot of land on which he built a home way up there in what you call fortified wine country. And you know, you can literally smell the meth in the air. There are that many meth labs and it's very hard for a 67 year old guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's a bad thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Find it. Oh, sorry. It's very hard for him to find a job having been a mechanic all his life. Oh, I'm sure he'd breaking bad situations.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait a second. That's not a bad idea. Him and my schizophrenic stepbrother.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, God.

[Brian Bishop]

Could go into business. Well, so he couldn't make the mortgage and then I think he didn't want me to know. And I think it's pretty embarrassing because, you know, you don't want to ruin your daughter's credit. Already done.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, It's. It's really weird. I had this weird conversation with Kevin Hench, my writing partner. Like, I walk around life thinking things are sort of an anomaly. And then I realize, oh, no, this is life. What we're living is sort of an anomaly in terms of thinking straight, loving our kids, not being covered with tattoos, not being buried in debt. You're not having weird bad piercings and stuff like that. Like, I walk around all day sort of going, what the fuck's wrong with everyone? Or what's wrong with this guy? And then I realized, this guy is every guy now. I went to this great. This great moment I went to when I was in Tempe and we're doing the improv last weekend and Mike August is out of a movie. Whenever we go to town, Mike calls the local radio station and he says, hey, how about Adam does a phone or two on your station? Mike, hang out in case I'm exaggerating any of this.

[Brian Bishop]

And also, just so I can view the outfit.

[Adam Carolla]

So, you know, he gives him a call. So in this case, and usually everyone's up for it. We're going back to Seattle and Portland and everyone there's cool and all that stuff. But in this case, our old radio station, Arizona didn't want anything to do with me because that's the past. And then the other radio station he reached out to didn't want anything to do with me because I'm the future. Aha. Podcasting taken over. Oh, yeah. So why are you advertising what is going to be the future? So then he gets hooked up with a guy named Beef, okay? And evidently this guy named Beef convinces Mike that he has a large morning audience when in fact, the improv sells it. He has a. Oh, the improv does it. In fact, this guy has a very small podcast, like Miniscule.

[Brian Bishop]

But he's in the future. He's a podcaster.

[Adam Carolla]

And so we hook up with Beef. And I should know, about 46 minutes into the interview I'm doing with him, which I think is on his morning show.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm calling in and he's like, yeah, fuck that dude. Anyway, he's like, I don't know what else you want to talk about. And it's like I'm looking at clouds, like 41 minutes in. And he said fuck nine times. And I'm like, what kind of morning show is this that you have to run commercials? So Beef's got nothing. So. But meanwhile, they have contracted Beef to. I keep calling them meat by mistake. Contracted Beef to bring me up on stage times six nights. And so we gotta hear Beef do it. Literally. Mike, stop me if I'm wrong. How many of you guys are checking out my podcast every morning? There's 450 people in the place you're hearing, but there's nothing. But the beauty of the nothing is on the sixth show.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

How many of you guys checking out my podcast every morning? I mean, it was like it wouldn't stop. So there's a couple of good moments with Beef. Beef is like the typical 30 year old dude now who I. I was just saying to someone, look, when I was growing up, when you're fucking 19, 20, 21, you'd carry around an attache case with your lunch in it just to look like you're older, just to look important. You didn't have anything in it. You just. You'd put on a fucking suit and tie just to look like you were somebody. You weren't somebody. Now you got all these 30 year old guys with like these. Not only the piercings, but the big hole that you could fuck in their ear. If you could lube that thing up, you could fuck their ear. And then they're covered with tattoos and they got the weird turtle facial hair and they're wearing the black Yankees cap and it's pulled sideways and they're wearing the weird T shirts and shants and you're like, dude, how are you gonna get a job? You're a 30 year old white guy. Like, what are you doing?

[Brian Bishop]

Brief, listen, take stock. Okay, take a moment.

[Adam Carolla]

Beef stock. The bullion cube.

[Brian Bishop]

Beef stock. Just take a moment and drop yourself into the water of clarity.

[Adam Carolla]

Boil it and make a lovely bra.

[Brian Bishop]

Make a reality.

[Adam Carolla]

He. So he comes up, he plops down on the vinyl naugahide burnt orange sofa with the duct tape on it that they have, you know, in every green room. Sure, yeah, Comedy club. And he sits next to me and he's got unload a little, you know.

[Brian Bishop]

Because you can relate to Beef's problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Dude, I've been. I've been going through a pretty tough. Pretty tough time, you know. And first off, the real problem comes when Beef says to me, somewhere around the fourth show, hey, dude, would you. Could I do a few minutes? I gotta do a few minutes before the show starts.

[Brian Bishop]

He wanted to open for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Time. And I said, no time, buddy. Do the announcement of Adam. Pump him up and that'll be fine. Laser pointer. And he jumps on Adam. I gave the fucking. And I just gave him the same thing I give to everyone. Like, you know, the guys who want to walk into the tiger cage with their pants around their ankles. Like, you can go. You can go in if you want, but that tiger's not friendly. Like, those people aren't there to see you. I know the difference. I know the difference between, don't get me wrong, if Sarah Silverman was doing something and I went up and went, hey, I want to do a half hour. They wouldn't want me either.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, you hear stories about people who had to open for the Beatles and just get booed the entire time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Brutal.

[Adam Carolla]

The Beefles Boo would have been great. Boo would have been great. That would have been a reaction. He got nothing. He came out there and he said, my dad's in the audience. He's dying of cancer. Funny. No, he told me that. Yeah, he told me that. And he's like, I want to get.

[Brian Bishop]

Out there and show my dad that I've made something of myself.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So he went out and it wasn't one of these things where he had a couple of jokes and could kind of cut bait and move on. He had a story that he went into and the problem with this story was it was like merging onto a highway and then you wouldn't see another exit for like 20 miles.

[Brian Bishop]

Or the kind where you get on a bridge to somewhere.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And the train's coming and you can't get off and you have to jump off that trestle. So he. I'm just standing out next to the kitchen. I'm not in the. Where I'm not in the club. You know, I'm just hearing nothing for long periods of time. I'm not sure what. There's technical issues or whatever, but one of the great conversations I had with Beef is during one of the breaks when he was apologizing to me up in the green room and I was just like, you know, I need to mention his dad. Dad's dying. And his club owner yelled at him and he said he's going through a hard time. His old lady found out his old. He has a sugar mama. He found out sugar mama was cheating on him just before he was going on a fishing trip with his dad, Sort of a last fishing trip. And he found out literally moments before. But she was driving him to the airport, he couldn't get into it with her and blah blah, blah. And I said, how does this sugar mama thing work? Because I want to know how this works. Because then he goes on to mention she's living with me and she's out of work and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, what the fuck kind of sugar mama is this? And I said, habib, how does the sugar mama work? What does she do for you? And he's wearing. Mike, stop me if I'm lying. He's wearing a XXXXX that his ex got him. L size black T shirt with like something a Mexican would have airbrushed on the hood of his Impala. Like just a hot chick with a devil ass, you know, like just big ass. Like something almost like if you wore it, if you want, you went to school. If you went to school and wore that. Make you turn it inside out kinda. A little bit offensive. Like hot Latin chick with vita garra's ass. Yes. Shirt. A black shirt sized with tent with it with an airbrushed Mexican chick on it.

[Brian Bishop]

Somewhere on one or both of his arms is a tattoo and it's on fire.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he had a couple. He got some tats. He had some tats. Skulls. But I said to him, I said, how does the sugar mama thing work? I mean, what do you get out of this deal? How does it work? And he just looked at me and he went, see this T shirt? I said, yeah, she got it for me. I said, you get a fucking T shirt. And he went, and the shorts too. And he wore a pair of fucking, you know, and one fucking baggy fucking shorts, like eight dollar shorts. And then I was like, oh my, what is going? What's going on? And then later on he brought in his buddy Laugh Track and he's covered with tattoos. And I'm like, hey, Laugh Track, what's your deal now? And he goes, I used to work for a place that made custom sandrails, you know, dune buggies. But that went under. So now I work at a tattoo parlor. And I thought, wow. And I felt bad, like, wow, it's so sad. It's weird because these aren't kids and they're not in college, you know, these are guys when they were our parents age would have had two kids and dressed like Fred McMurray from My Three Sons. And now I'm looking at two dudes combined age of like 66. And they're like covered with tats, they look unemployable.

[Brian Bishop]

And their hats are like score of 27.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Which is now mine.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? It's like if somebody attacked Turtle with a tattooing pen, that's what these guys look like. And I'm like, and they're nice enough guys and stuff, but it's like, who's gonna hire you and what's the deal? And where's the health insurance coming? Like, what is the. What's the plan? And. And then Mike and I went to the mall on our old person gay date.

[Brian Bishop]

I see you also got some new shoes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he said, pretty cool. Yeah. And you just walk through the mall to seeing the same 31 year old white dude like covered with tattoos, like wearing an MMA shirt. And you're just thinking like, what's the plan? What's the plan? Like, what's the end game with the big hoop piercings and the ts? Like, is this.

[Brian Bishop]

Where do you want to be in 20 years?

[Adam Carolla]

Are you getting sexier to the ladies? Are the dollars falling out of the heavens? Like, you're not a bad.

[Brian Bishop]

Are people scrambling to hire you for what very few jobs there are.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not sure if he's going to be welcomed back at the Improvident Tempe.

[Brian Bishop]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Mike, the club owner was not. The club owner was not happy.

[Brian Bishop]

Beef is not well done.

[Adam Carolla]

Nice guy. Glad.

[Brian Bishop]

Really trying.

[Adam Carolla]

Really trying. But feel bad for his dad and everything. Well, listen, Beef is good times. By the way, the good news for my wife is I've canceled my sugar mama plan. I thought it involved, like, a Corvette and a condo. I didn't know. This is beef. Oh, by the way, that's him wearing his.

[Brian Bishop]

That's the dice.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, he's wearing Dice. That's another night.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Now, he's not wearing the right shirt there. He's wearing an obnoxious, loud circus tent size.

[Brian Bishop]

It makes you dyes look like you're from the 50s, when normally you might be on the schlubby side of things.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, thank you. But here, I know it makes us look like we're dapper. Guys, it looks like somebody actually tagged his shirt. Like he was just walking through 10 paints. And.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, you know, recently, when the Prop 8 thing went down, everyone was talking about the will of the people. And I think. You know what? No, thanks. Because otherwise it'd be like, you know, Mountain Dew in the drinking water.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Like Idiocracy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. There's his other buddy. Now, that's not Laugh Track. That's another guy. That's Buddha. That's Buddha. He's, like, flashing. I don't flash a gang sign. Hospital tag. I don't take it. What's all this? He's wearing sunglasses. What? What's going on?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that's kind of a low rider Y look.

[Adam Carolla]

What's with the look? Once you turn 33. What? What's the look?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I'd like to look like I can afford the payments on my car and my home.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the look.

[Brian Bishop]

That's how I'd like to look.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the look. We should all try to cultivate that look.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, I know I have a lot of registered sex offenders within a mile of me, and that's been a running joke because I like to live within my means.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Right.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm terrified of debt because of how I grew up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't care for it.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll just feed you then, because you're. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Can I get. I'm so sorry. I went all about me. Can I get to one other happy story?

[Adam Carolla]

One other story about someone getting stabbed in the face, and then we gotta eat cake.

[Brian Bishop]

It'll be very, very quick. The good news is Pops can always file for chapter 13 again. Yeah, that's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Does that make it chapter 26? I would shame the people. What do chapter 39 like? I would shame them by adding all their chapter 11s and 13s together. That they did a big rolling score like 1562 to separate him from the.

[Brian Bishop]

Beefs of the world. He did work six days a week and was a very hard working guy. He just squandered everything. Now on happy happy news, Alanis Morissette's expecting. Yeah. She told Us Weekly that she and her husband soul eye will be having a baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Soul Eye or Soul Eye? Like, is he Russian guy or is he a hippie?

[Brian Bishop]

Hippie. Some kind of music dude. In the magazine's 25 things you don't know about me section, Alanis listed I am pregnant as number 25. She added on our Twitter page. We're very excited to embark on this journey with each other. He's a rapper.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I see. Oh, he's the white rapper.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, right. I ought to know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you think he's upset about Dave Cooley?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sure the band aid gets ripped off that wound every time it pops on the. I'm guessing she pretty much has the SUV radio just permanently set to am just in case. Yeah, like no one wants to hop in the car, throw the keys in, start up and hear yelling about your wife going down on a guy in a theater.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like every time they go to the movies, you know, there's an expectation.

[Adam Carolla]

If I was working the concession stand, I would have a certain expectation if I saw Linus Morissette in a movie theater.

[Brian Bishop]

Really? You want your milk duds? Well, I'd like something too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I like. I'd immediately build a home theater. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, I will leave it there. Sorry I made the news all about that.

[Teresa Strasser]

More of Theresa's news coming up. If you don't listen, you're an anti Semite.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Stephen Doming.

[Brian Bishop]

I think we think it's Domang.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yes, we think it's Domang. But Mike's been.

[Brian Bishop]

He's known as the Ragin Cajun.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there he is. He's brought. Hi, guys. Hi. How are you?

[Stephen Domang]

Nice to meet you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

How about your little taste?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, thank you you very much.

[Stephen Domang]

Chicken and sausage corn disc.

[Adam Carolla]

Have a. Is your mic screwy or.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, maybe you're tired.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you do, just drink it? Yeah, I think everyone stole the spoons.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, she's got an extra. Oh, you know what? You want to hand this to that gentleman is he will be a better judge of. Of its taste than I.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, wait. Time out. I want you to go get him.

[Stephen Domang]

A taste of my chicken and sausage corn Bisque.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, he's got it right. What is this?

[Stephen Domang]

And the beef brisket.

[Brian Bishop]

Now you've got to show on the Food Network.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on a second. Why didn't you guys line up all that shit before? I thought it was. Oh, Mike, wake up, buddy. I know. He pulled him in here. Sorry. Food Network.

[Brian Bishop]

He's got a show on the Food Network that I think pits food trucks against each other, which is an interesting idea with how popular they are right now.

[Stephen Domang]

I tell you, I actually went on this audition for this food truck, and I never had one in my life.

[Adam Carolla]

Really.

[Stephen Domang]

And I got on the show, and I got this truck done in a day and a half. And let me tell y'all, this was an experience I'll never forget. Myself and six other trucks went across the country selling our food. It was an elimination process. If you didn't make sales, you were gone. Visit my tie.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's the way I get you.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, your tie is made out of beads, so if it hits the. So you were like, what's this one? That one is another microphone.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they gave you two microphones?

[Brian Bishop]

They gave you two.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you should maybe uncross your leg and we'll pull this one off. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Listen, we're ironing out some kinks. Yeah, yeah.

[Stephen Domang]

Hey, I'm sitting back, enjoying this brisket.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Stephen Domang]

Try that beef brisket, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Now, where are you from, Stephen?

[Stephen Domang]

I am from Lafayette, Louisiana. I'm a Cajun boy.

[Adam Carolla]

Whoa. Nice job.

[Brian Bishop]

Are you enjoying the food? I don't want to ask you while you're chewing.

[Adam Carolla]

It's excellent. It's excellent.

[Brian Bishop]

I just ask you because I don't eat meat.

[Adam Carolla]

That corn chowders sounds. Yeah, it's delightful. It's got a bite to it. It's nice.

[Brian Bishop]

Here, try this. Try this. Jambalaya. I sense meat.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, no meat, huh?

[Stephen Domang]

It's all my mama's recipes from Lafayette, Louisiana.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Stephen Domang]

What I did, I opened up my restaurant here in Hermosa Beach 18 years ago, guys. I came here with nothing, and I was talking to my mom on the phone how to make the food. I'm an amateur chef, and I just took my mama's creations with recipes from her great, great grandmas, and I just put it all together in raging Cajun. Now, 18 years in the running in Hermosa Beach.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, does your mom have all these things written down, or is it all just sort of by feel and by memory?

[Stephen Domang]

Oh, no, she has everything. She has, like a. I want to say, a Bible back at home that she pulls out from really back. Way, way, way back then there.

[Adam Carolla]

And so as far as the lunch truck show went. I'm sorry.

[Brian Bishop]

Food truck.

[Adam Carolla]

Food truck. Yeah. Maybe. I wonder if lunch truck's an insulting person. Like calling a flight attendant stewardess. I'm trying to figure out how to go.

[Brian Bishop]

I think some of these food trucks are quite gourmet.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, God. Yeah. So you're going up against. Who's the competition? I mean, in terms of the types of food. You got a Korean barbecue truck. You got a Mexican food truck.

[Stephen Domang]

I had a crepe guy. We had a cheese guy.

[Ralph Sutton]

The.

[Stephen Domang]

The. What is it called? The grilled cheese guy.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, that's a big thing. These grilled cheese.

[Stephen Domang]

Oh, yeah, the grilled cheese.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you beat that guy? Can you tell us?

[Stephen Domang]

I can't say. You have to watch the show to find out, guys.

[Adam Carolla]

But the day the Cajun truck can't kick the ass of the crepes truck.

[Brian Bishop]

Can you imagine getting beaten by the crepes truck? How much of a pussy would you feel?

[Adam Carolla]

You take your shrimp and your Cajun food, then you hit the road. I will smother you in my flat. Thin pancake. Where's my cigarette? Wow. So what's the plan? You guys hit the road, and how's the competition work?

[Stephen Domang]

Well, you know, what we did was we started off in one city, and we made our way around the country, but it was an elimination process. So if you didn't make sales, you were eliminated in that city.

[Adam Carolla]

So it was really just in a way, it's a little like celebrity millionaire or something.

[Brian Bishop]

Apprentice. Yeah, Apprentice.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. Right, where you just go in there and you pull up and you see who has the biggest tally. And it's not only about the food, but you got to send someone out doing some advertising, running around.

[Brian Bishop]

You have to know the right corner to park.

[Stephen Domang]

Yes, ma'am.

[Adam Carolla]

And there's a little competition for that. Yes, there is.

[Stephen Domang]

Yes, there is. And there was challenges there.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like you did well in the great food truck race so they wouldn't be trotting you out to do the publicity.

[Adam Carolla]

This is Mike August winning free Cajun food.

[Brian Bishop]

I knew there was some explanation.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Mike is from Louisiana.

[Stephen Domang]

Yeah, Mike's from my part of the woods. Me and Mike went to school together.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Yeah.

[Stephen Domang]

That's why I call him Kuzan.

[Adam Carolla]

Mike went to school.

[Brian Bishop]

Hold on. Mike's actually a lawyer?

[Adam Carolla]

Crazy.

[Brian Bishop]

He's your kouzan.

[Adam Carolla]

If you were a lawyer, how pissed would you be if you knew that Mike was a lawyer? Like, if you were A lawyer. You know what I mean? Wouldn't that just immediately just. It'd be like if you went, yeah, I was a playmate. And then some fat chick pulled up and went, yeah, I was a playmate, too. And you were like, what? Oh, now you completely lowered my stock.

[Brian Bishop]

You think he's diluting the brand?

[Adam Carolla]

Nobody who's a lawyer wants a guy with no sock standing next to him saying, I'm a lawyer, too. I just choose not to do what you do full time.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. You're sitting at your chain to your desk writing briefs, and he's out here in his plaid shants.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Trying to stop beef from ruining your sex.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's my point. Just don't mention that around other lawyers, Mike. I think it's gonna hurt their esteem. Yeah, they need confidence when they're in the courtroom. Not that. Sorry, Steven. So you guys went, he's your kouzan, huh?

[Stephen Domang]

He's my Kouzan, man. Where we come from, it's all about family and tradition and, guys, what I'm trying to do here is take my Cajun culture to the other states and show them what we are all about.

[Brian Bishop]

What are you?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, what are you about?

[Stephen Domang]

It's about the food we eat, the water we drink, and the Cajun dancing. What we call this back home, it's fe dodo. And what I mean by that is when mom and daddy on the weekends wanted to have a little fe do, what that means is they would breastfeed the baby, put them to sleep, and then they could do their little Cajun two step.

[Adam Carolla]

Them.

[Stephen Domang]

That's what we call them.

[Adam Carolla]

My mom would make a horrible Cajun.

[Brian Bishop]

Can you imagine the nursing alone? I couldn't get a straight answer.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, we're going to get the Zydeco thing. How should I know? I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait. Wait a second. Because I think your mom would do a nice job.

[Adam Carolla]

Very spicy.

[Brian Bishop]

I think she would review it.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel bad for the shrimp floating in it.

[Brian Bishop]

It had to die.

[Gina Grad]

How would I know?

[Brian Bishop]

Wouldn't everything be okay?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she'd be horrible. Horrible cages.

[Brian Bishop]

She's not enthusiastic.

[Adam Carolla]

The not much life in her, but. So, Stephen, I feel like maybe you tell me, blessing or curse. The whole Katrina thing has sort of been, in a weird way, brought a spotlight to New Orleans and that whole sort of vibe. And I don't know, maybe It's Harry Connick Jr. I don't know what it is, but I feel like. Or it's the Saints winning the super.

[Stephen Domang]

Bowl, and I feel like everything coming.

[Adam Carolla]

Together, the last five years feel like this long travel brochure. Not a lot of tragedy mixed in there, but it seems like all of a sudden they're on the map. Like, I'm seeing them in the news and hearing all this stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a whole show, treme.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

About New Orleans musical culture.

[Adam Carolla]

But you gotta be good for you, right?

[Stephen Domang]

Well, you know, it's funny, though, when people go to New Orleans, they say they have the best time. You gotta get in a car and drive two and a half hours west, and you go to the Atchafalaya Basin to see what Cajun country is all about.

[Adam Carolla]

So don't go to Cajun and get raped.

[Brian Bishop]

No, and get raped.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

You go a couple hours outside, you'll.

[Stephen Domang]

Go through the Chafalaya Basin. You'll see where we really come from.

[Adam Carolla]

Guys, let me tell you what I love about New Orleans and that. That part of the world said it once. Say it again. You drive through la, I'm a. I'm a guy. I'm a white guy. I pay my taxes. I got registration. I got proof of insurance. The car's all paid for. Everything's up to snuff. LAPD pulls up next to me on the freeway. I turn the fucking radio down. I put my hands at 10 and 2. And if he's going 52 miles an hour, I'll slow it down to 52, just not to be a nose ahead of the guy. When I was driving through New Orleans with Jimmy Kimmel, we're doing a man show thing. We're taking a little tour, like a tour bus, like a minibus. And the guy was kind of driving the wheels off the thing at a certain point, we're going down the highway, and I spotted the cop and I said, oh, cop, cop. Because the speed limit was 35 and he was going 47. You know, as we're coming up on, a cop said, we're a cop up here. And the guy went, dad, don't worry about it. And I said, don't worry about it. We're gonna blow right past the guy. And he said, he's got bigger fish to fry than me. And we blew right past the guy. And I thought, wow, what a. What a place to live in where you're not worried about the cops fucking with you constantly. And I was like, but what? Aren't you gonna get a ticket? He's like, yeah, this guy's. They're interested in crime. They don't want to write me a ticket. He blew right past the cop.

[Stephen Domang]

But they got a crying shame, though, with this oil spill. Now, guys, come on. I mean, we've. We've gotten hit pretty good with Katrina, but, you know, the super bowl was a blessing in the sky. That was a blessing in the sky for us.

[Adam Carolla]

In the sky or in the sky? Not in the sky.

[Brian Bishop]

In the sky.

[Adam Carolla]

In the sky. Oh, it's that kind of blessing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was good. Now, what's going on with the oil spill?

[Stephen Domang]

You know, some guys, I'm kind of just so disgusted with that. That's.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it. Has it affected.

[Stephen Domang]

It's affecting me. Yes, it is.

[Brian Bishop]

It is, right?

[Stephen Domang]

It's like to be with the shrimp and all that. As far as for the crawfish, we have our private ponds that are inland.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you do?

[Stephen Domang]

Oh, yeah. So what would happen, though, if a hurricane would come and push all the water in? Then we'd probably have a problem. So far, from what I can tell, I think it's gonna be all right with the crawfish.

[Adam Carolla]

What about nutria? Has anyone figured out a plan for those nutria?

[Stephen Domang]

Well, you know, they. They cook them. I have a big old poster on my wall at the restaurant where people are cooking that stuff, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, no, the nutria is like a giant rat, right?

[Stephen Domang]

Yes and no.

[Adam Carolla]

It's one of these things where it's sort of your nutria is like our ostrich. Like, somebody's trying to get us to eat ostrich or emu or something. We ain't into it. And they're like, you know, it's less. Less calories than beef and more flavorful than lamb and all this kind of stuff, and we're like, fat, which is. Sounds Cajun, but it's juju. But the nutria, these things. Somebody got these things. Was it Tabasco? Someone brought these things out there. They brought them in cages. They're gonna make, like, coats out of them. You know, something. They got knocked over. They ran around. They started multiplying like crazy. Then they're everywhere, and they don't know what to do with them. And they try to figure out recipes for them, but I don't know if it really works or not. You ever try it? You ever try to cook up the nutria? Nope.

[Stephen Domang]

I cook alligator at the restaurant. I do frog legs.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you do alligator?

[Stephen Domang]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, how does that work? Where do you get your alligator meat?

[Stephen Domang]

Saint Martinville, Louisiana.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Gets flown in every.

[Stephen Domang]

Oh, I get it all shipped in from Lafayette. I have a guy that ships it on airline, and I get it at the airport within five, six hours.

[Brian Bishop]

And you make a sandwich or a.

[Stephen Domang]

Stew, you know, you, there's. You can do like alligator kubial. I usually just cook the alligator, deep fry it or I grill it, whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

You make like a po boy out of it.

[Stephen Domang]

Oh yeah, you can actually make a po boy too. And what if I got a shrimp popo right there for you?

[Brian Bishop]

You want it?

[Adam Carolla]

What's what? What's in that?

[Stephen Domang]

That's just a fried shrimp poboy. All it is is fried shrimp that's dressed.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. And no alligator. Any alligator on the front?

[Stephen Domang]

I didn't bring no alligator.

[Adam Carolla]

Any fresh alligator.

[Stephen Domang]

I didn't know if you'd like it or not, so I said, let me bring what I, what I serve with you.

[Adam Carolla]

You should have an alligator tank at the restaurant. People can pick out their alligator tanks.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, he's on a truck, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but at the restaurant. I'm just saying.

[Brian Bishop]

By the way, his truck is going to be at your restaurant.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it is?

[Stephen Domang]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it's gonna be. Yeah, it's gonna be Partrinn. Yeah, that's right.

[Brian Bishop]

At Amalfi.

[Stephen Domang]

I'm trying to talk. Actually, I'm asking you, and I asked Sweeney. I'd love to be able to bring all the food trucks in front of your restaurant that were on the show and we open up the place and let them eat their food all right there from all the food trucks that we had on the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Sounds good to me. But you gotta ask Sweeney because then who's gonna go in and eat his food? They'll buy his booze.

[Brian Bishop]

The conflict. Oh yeah, maybe you draw people in for the alligator po boy, and then they come in for a few cocktails.

[Stephen Domang]

Guys, I went to the X Games two weeks ago and brought that truck inside the Coliseum. 4:00. I was sold out by 7:30. When 8:00, when the show was over with, I could have served another 300 people and I had no food.

[Adam Carolla]

Are. Are people, are people? Have you noticed your business go up like tenfold? I mean, did, did it start with all Katrina stuff and did it just keep going with the Super Bowl? Like, would people speak, have a general awareness of this?

[Stephen Domang]

Now let me tell you guys, I never opened up for super bowl. And you know, I was kind of mad because I couldn't believe the NFL let this guy Vic in there for $5 million for killing animals. And I tell myself I'm going on strike until the super bowl is Super Bowl Sunday.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you mean Michael Vick for the dog fighter?

[Stephen Domang]

Oh, yeah. So I told myself, adam, I said, you know, son, I'm not going to watch the Super Bowl. I mean, I'm not going to watch any of the NFL games, playoffs until Super Bowl Sunday, when the Saints and the Indianapolis Coats are going to be in the Super Bowl. And I predicted they'd be undefeated it. And I was wrong on that. But I. I knew that the Saints would win. And I opened up on Super Bowl Sunday, and I never opened up on Super Bowl Sunday, and I opened the doors, guys, I'm telling y'all, I had over over 200 people in my restaurant. It was crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

And. But by the way, you kill alligators for a living. What do you care about, Michael? I love animals.

[Stephen Domang]

What? Hey, hey, hey. I don't kill alligators.

[Adam Carolla]

I get it.

[Stephen Domang]

I get the alligator meat.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't judge.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Stephen Domang]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

And what do they do, have alligator farms? Oh, yeah. Just raise them like cattle. Oh, yeah.

[Stephen Domang]

As you can see, Lisa right there is the girl that plays the fiddle for me. And I brought her here for a little treat for y'all.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, she gonna play.

[Stephen Domang]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

This is gonna be an unplanned, excellent treat for her.

[Stephen Domang]

I tell you, I planned a good tree. And I brought Jazzy there over there. Jazzy was on my show with me. She was great. She's a star on the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she's beautiful.

[Brian Bishop]

Is our food trucks a fad or are they here to stay?

[Stephen Domang]

You know, I would just tell y'all, this being. Being. Being on the show and me owning a restaurant. Guys, if one of those food trucks pulled in front of my restaurant, oh.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd be out there.

[Stephen Domang]

Get out of here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Swinging an alligator at them. Now I'd be pissed, too. Like, when we did have the food truck guys on here, and I was like, if I was spending the kind of coin these guys are spending on their property and the lease of property and the signage and all that, the employees and the whole insurance and everything, and some guy just pulled right in front of my store with this thing. I'd be pretty pissed about it, too. But, I mean, the good news is there's not a lot of Cajun trucks out there.

[Brian Bishop]

I've never seen another.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Stephen Domang]

Never heard of the one and only guys. And I got the best Cajun food in la. I mean, I've been voted best Cajun since I've opened up my restaurant. Now we're talking 18 years in the South.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Stephen Domang]

Yes, siree.

[Brian Bishop]

So you can go to Amalfi lunchtime Monday and Every Monday thereafter. And try the Raging Cajuns food.

[Stephen Domang]

Raging Cajun on wheels.

[Adam Carolla]

And the Amalfi stuff ain't bad. Time out either.

[Stephen Domang]

Time out. Time out. As a matter of fact, USC football team. Well, the Coliseum is going to let us put all the food trucks in the Coliseum, so when USC plays down there.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Ralph Sutton]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. All the eight people that go out to see them when they're being in there on. They'll be on probation for another few years.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you have to pay off to get in.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Stephen, thank you very much. We have to make room for a big porn star is going to come in.

[Brian Bishop]

Have you heard of Peter North? Is he a Kuzan?

[Stephen Domang]

No, I don't know anything about that.

[Adam Carolla]

You know anything about porn?

[Stephen Domang]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

At all? No.

[Brian Bishop]

You never heard of Peter North?

[Adam Carolla]

That's your bag.

[Stephen Domang]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Some of them.

[Brian Bishop]

What about.

[Adam Carolla]

I wish you weren't a liar, Jeremy.

[Brian Bishop]

What's his name?

[Adam Carolla]

Ron Jeremy.

[Brian Bishop]

Ron Jeremy.

[Stephen Domang]

I've heard of him.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. All right. Well, you're offended. Offended. Mr. North. All right, Stephen, again, the show's on the Food Network. The great food truck race. I don't know when it premieres.

[Stephen Domang]

Do you know My premiere starts Sunday. We're having a big premiere at my restaurant. You guys here are all invited. It starts at 7pm at Raging Cajun on Hosa Beach.

[Adam Carolla]

Is. Is it Domang?

[Stephen Domang]

Domang. You said it right, Adam, you're the first one. I think it said my last name.

[Adam Carolla]

I wrote it phonetically. Stephen, I appreciate that. Thanks for coming out and thanks for bringing the chow.

[Stephen Domang]

All right, Al.

[Adam Carolla]

We appreciate it. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I hope you won the show. I've got a good feeling.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it seems confident.

[Brian Bishop]

He does, doesn't he?

[Adam Carolla]

Good to meet you.

[Stephen Domang]

Come down to see me, man.

[Brian Bishop]

Brimming with confidence.

[Stephen Domang]

Yeah, y'all come Monday. I'll come Sunday night. Got time.

[Adam Carolla]

The. It is pretty amazing. What's. What's going on with these sort of New Orleans renaissance. Like, I don't feel like anyone was really talking much about that place until. Well, I guess Katrina's about five years old now, right? And it just.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, no, thank you. I'm good.

[Adam Carolla]

We're doing a show, so I'm cool now. I can eat later.

[Brian Bishop]

So sweet. You know how feeders are.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. I'm just. I'm. I'm annoyed today. I don't know why I'm annoyed. I'm pre annoyed. Yeah. I don't know why. I just decided I was pretty annoyed.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a lot going on.

[Adam Carolla]

I just. I have a Lot of stuff going on with. With my book and try to get pictures and everything. I feel like I made this proclamation of I don't want two guests a show. It's pain in the ass. I have to bring them in, bring them out. Then they come in and they're not. They don't know where they're going and they're not sure where they're going.

[Brian Bishop]

Fiddle player and confusing.

[Adam Carolla]

We gotta get some order.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a lot of chaos and this isn't the day for chaos. Right. Can't handle things.

[Adam Carolla]

It's day for tranquility.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm having an extra critical day. I stole my mom's bio rhythm wheel from 1973.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, speaking of wheel, I'm thinking maybe my dad can live on his food truck.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, now I gotta hear the ra. Hey, get him out of here. And get Peter north in here, would you please? I'm sorry, I'm pretty irritated. He's a nice guy, but I'm doing a fucking show. It's just feeling like everyone's standing around chatting. Hey, what do you want? What do you need? We got something. Good to see you, Peter North. Have a seat. Hey, change the mood. Changed the mood.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's looking up from here on out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Been a very long time.

[Peter North]

The park in for the. For the man show. We did the.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah, we did. Yeah, we did the. Yeah, we. We did a porn. Like a summer camp, like a university.

[Peter North]

Trying to make the right college grade, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was a funny bit. I can't remember. I remember we filmed it up in the hills around Griffith park. And I had to get out of there like right at 9:30 and get the hell to Loveline. So. Peter North. Peter starve. Smallish screen with a biggish dick. You've made how many adult films?

[Peter North]

The number just bounces around, you know, I'm not sure But I'm hearing 1700 or something anywhere from 1500. 1700. I'm not even sure. I lost count long.

[Adam Carolla]

And how does it go for you? Like how do you. How do you. Where do you come from? How do you get into the business? How do you get started? What. What did you think you were going to be doing when you got here? Are you from here?

[Peter North]

I never.

[Adam Carolla]

Want some Cajun food. Tried something. That's good. Yeah, it is good.

[Peter North]

I never contemplated ever getting in the business.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't even watch school. Thinking you're gonna get into porn, right?

[Brian Bishop]

But were you aware then that you were extra endowed?

[Peter North]

No, I grew up in the east coast of Canada. I guess a lot of the guys are now there because the girls never really said anything in particular to me. No, I never knew I had anything extra or special until I got to California. So I remember when I was.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's an exchange rate with Canada.

[Peter North]

Yeah, well, when I was 17, I think back, you know when the people talk about the claim to fame. The pop shot, basically.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure, sure. The money shot.

[Peter North]

The money shot.

[Adam Carolla]

The decorator. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Now doesn't everyone do that?

[Adam Carolla]

That, yeah. But not to the extent that Peter does.

[Brian Bishop]

What makes yours special, like a. Like a Jackson Pollock type?

[Adam Carolla]

It's difference between the volume. You know, when you go to the Costco and they give that little sampler thing comes a little paper cup.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then you go to like 7:11, you get the, you know, Super Slurpee. Yeah, It's a sort of difference in size. If you spilled one in your car, you'd be like, all right, I spilled a little sample, caught my car, no big deal. But if you spilled this Big Gulp in there, you'd have to throw the car away.

[Brian Bishop]

And that's how you got some of your other nicknames, which I see per IMDb, the Sperminator. Circumlot. The beer can.

[Peter North]

You shake up a beer can.

[Brian Bishop]

A Senator.

[Peter North]

Okay, I'll take that.

[Brian Bishop]

And Old Faithful.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. The decorator.

[Brian Bishop]

Because you were around pre Viagra.

[Peter North]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So. So you're in Canada, you're a young man, you're athletic, I'm assuming.

[Peter North]

Into sports.

[Adam Carolla]

Quite a bit into sports. And so what brings you out to la?

[Peter North]

I had a relationship that ended. Like a three year relationship ended. And I always wanted to.

[Adam Carolla]

Because she drowned.

[Peter North]

She choked. The debt.

[Adam Carolla]

No, imagine Peter north at 70, like super, super horny. Young, just like to fuck five times a day. Peter north and that poor girl.

[Peter North]

Well, I remember the times when I. Even before I had sex, when I was being masturbated, like at 17, this one girl, it was like I could remember about 16 or 17 ropes hitting the brick wall and knocking chips off the wall. It just. Yeah, it was, it was. It was crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

So, I mean, that's why I wanted to stay away from the Cajun food truck.

[Brian Bishop]

Now it's all making sense.

[Adam Carolla]

Health services.

[Brian Bishop]

But you had no idea back then that anything was unusual?

[Peter North]

I did not know until I did my first. My first movie up on Mulholland Drive. There were three girls and two guys. I was one of the guys. The other guy had an issue performing. So I kind of had to carry the scene as they say. And basically when Old Faithful popped on the three girls, it was like the director was on the phone talking to the agent, talking to other directors and such.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure, sure. Because that's a big deal in that business and they have a whole. There's this whole industry where they try to sort of simulate it, but they go way over the top with it. It always looks phony.

[Brian Bishop]

Why is that extra sexy if there's more?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not sure if it works.

[Peter North]

It's a good finish.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like, like it's just more dramatic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Peter North]

Like a girl having an orgasm and just screaming and just, you know, or squirting actually, to say the least.

[Adam Carolla]

Like.

[Peter North]

Yeah, Think of Cytherea.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a crescendo. That's why they hit the cymbals together at the end and then they fire the cannon.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

That's Peter's cannons being fired.

[Brian Bishop]

Why do. I don't know why I'm asking this, but why do. Why do some people make more than others? I mean, I know if it's your third of the day there's going to be less, but why is Peter north gifted with so much volume?

[Adam Carolla]

Why does some. How come some people can roll their tongue and turn it into a taco? How come some people's earlobes are attached and others aren't attached and they roll up a quarter inch? You know, how does all that work? You know, how come some people can do. Can mimic other voices and other people can't do it at all? It's fucking touched by the hand of God.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Do you feel that way?

[Peter North]

Genetics for sure. I mean, I've taken stuff that actually have helped as you get older and stuff like that and some of the stuff actually works.

[Brian Bishop]

You mean herbal?

[Peter North]

Yeah. Some of you take vitamin e, I think Dr. Drew on the Loveline mentioned one time.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. Come on. Their girlfriends.

[Peter North]

Vitamin E is a definite. And keeping hydrated, you know, that's important.

[Adam Carolla]

Just do the math. Yeah. You don't want a big talcum to come flying out of there.

[Stephen Domang]

Yeah.

[Peter North]

If you're dehydrated. And some of the biggest pop shots I've had were on photo shoots for magazines. That's like an all day thing. Like you're. You're taking a few shots, you know, for one position he has to set up in another area and stuff like that. So you're kind of like masturbating all day. And so the longer you masturbate, the more of a build up you're gonna get.

[Adam Carolla]

It's funny when people do masturbate. And when they talk about masturbate, you get the hand moving.

[Brian Bishop]

You gotta get the hand movement.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Right. Girls never make any kind of hand movement with their.

[Adam Carolla]

No, but it's also, there's. You don't really draw out other things. Like, you don't go like, well, I was driving my car away to wheel. We know what you mean. You drive your car. When you say, I'm speeding off, I don't go, what are you talking about? Once you. And then your hand starts moving, you go, oh, yeah. Oh, now I got you.

[Brian Bishop]

That kind of masturbate, it almost always accompanies the gesture.

[Adam Carolla]

It's weird.

[Peter North]

So true.

[Adam Carolla]

Really. Other things aren't equivalent. It's like, I had a day in court, or you're on.

[Brian Bishop]

Or you walk around like, I was sailing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You don't do that. You don't say. You're like, oh, I took a flight in from Phoenix. And then you're sharing your arms.

[Brian Bishop]

Get your knees cramped up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And your arms go out like an airplane. No. But somehow, jacking off your hands, playing charades when you're doing.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. So you. You started in. In hetero porn.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And that was your mainstay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

And then did you dally into gay porn?

[Peter North]

Well, you know, I. I know that a lot of people have talked about it, and I'm gonna. I'm gonna, like, set the record straight because I was on the love line and some caller came in and he kind of caught me, blindsided me. And I'm not, like, quick like, Adam. I didn't. I thought someone was gonna field the call or something like that. But he was talking about some, you know, like, some gay movies and stuff like that. And, you know, there was some limited stuff that a lot of people have done. And I should have just said, like, this gentleman Mike, is just complimenting me in a, you know, unusual way, but trying to make it seem like I'm gay or bisexual. And I want to go on record in saying that. And this is nothing against bisexual or anybody that's gay. I am not gay or bisexual. I am totally straight heterosexual.

[Adam Carolla]

But if you do a movie, like. Okay, so there's. There's. There's this sort of argument you can make where, like, well, if you make a movie where Sean Penn played Harvey Milk. Well, Sean, Pennsylvania, probably the straightest dude on the planet, uses a shotgun for a paddle in 8 inches of water in Louisiana. I mean, he's the manliest man you ever met, but he plays a gay man. And while the Cameras are rolling. But. Okay, but we can do that math. But then if you play. If you're in a gay porn, well, then you're actually physically having relationship with a guy. So you may be. You may be in the act, in a gay act, but you're saying you're not gay. And as a straight. So if you're a straight porn actor, especially someone like yourself or John Holmes, I guess, at some point did a little gay stuff, or even Ron Jeremy, who I don't know if he has or hasn't, but I guess you can get extra money because you're a name. I mean, does it. But does it become. What they want in the porn industry is they sort of want you to do stuff you don't do. So if you're just a chick and you're like, I only do girl girl scenes, eventually someone's gonna give you a lot of money to suck a dick.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Because that's what they want you to do.

[Brian Bishop]

Some anal and then DP and then.

[Adam Carolla]

DP and then eat some Cajun and call it a day. So if you're a straight porn actor and you have a name that people recognize, I imagine people are coming at you all time, going and upping the ante for the gay stuff.

[Peter North]

Yeah, they. They have after. You know, like, it was at the beginning, actually, when I was in a situation where I owed some money and I had to take care of some debt, and really I wasn't a citizen because I was here illegally.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. So it was the beginning part of the career. So it was the beginning part.

[Peter North]

I should have corrected on that.

[Brian Bishop]

So that first porn was a gay porn.

[Adam Carolla]

I had to do.

[Peter North]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, get it out of your system. Smart.

[Peter North]

And then, you know, they had the straight magazines off to the side, so you had to masturbate to get again to get an edge. And you'd lose the edge real quick, and then you'd get it, but they would be patient. And even now, like, they look for guys in the Midwest, straight guys.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what gay men want to see.

[Peter North]

That's what they want to see.

[Brian Bishop]

Now you. You were in some debt, and you were. You couldn't work legally. You had limited options.

[Peter North]

I was.

[Brian Bishop]

And a huge wang.

[Peter North]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And you can't.

[Peter North]

The pop shot was. That was the big thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Was the big thing. Nothing wrong with the wang.

[Brian Bishop]

I haven't seen it. I'm just guessing because the ones I've seen in porn are all huge.

[Adam Carolla]

I have another plan for your dad now, T. Is there a call for.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, a 67 year old dude in gay porn. He'd have to go gay.

[Adam Carolla]

How about.

[Brian Bishop]

Does anyone want to see it? Old Jew.

[Adam Carolla]

So Peter, you come out here at 17 to do what? Not do a gay porn and send a money grant back to Quebec.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't ask how I earned this, please.

[Peter North]

No, I just. I came out because I always wanted to come to California and see what was out there. I knew there was something else out there.

[Adam Carolla]

Were you thinking about acting? Were you thinking about sports? Like what were you thinking about?

[Peter North]

I just. Just living and see what, see what was out here. For me, I wasn't even thinking about sports. The thing I wanted to get into was journalism, especially sports journalism. And I never really pursued that and I wish I had, but you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Say you wish you had. What do you. Why do you say that?

[Peter North]

Because it's something that you could always maybe try to go to at a certain point in your life.

[Adam Carolla]

It's hard to fall back on your cock.

[Brian Bishop]

You think you're gonna, you're gonna age out of this industry, right? Or does it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, well, guys can hang out. I mean you think about all those chicks you worked with in the 80s or nobody that was going to pay them take their clothes off anymore.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you know Linda Lovelace?

[Peter North]

I did not.

[Adam Carolla]

She was a little, A little before my. She was before. Yeah, more, more the Christy Canyon era. And by the way, those women were spectacular. Like before all the crazy spitting and tattooing and all the evil putting on the eye. Giant sharpie and everything. Yeah, just good, hot, natural looking chicks back then.

[Peter North]

I agree.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you have a favorite co star?

[Peter North]

There were Ginger Lynn.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Peter North]

Christy Canyon.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Delight.

[Peter North]

Candy Evans. I don't know if people remember her. She ended up marrying one of the original American Gladiators.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Peter North]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Peter North]

Yeah, the one that was an a hole.

[Adam Carolla]

But she likes testosterone, that one.

[Peter North]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And yeah, there's a lot. You're just like, I don't know, Barbara Dare. Oh, Barbara Dare is great looking. I mean they're just like a natural good looking. It was weird. You know, everyone thinks that was a 70s thing and it kind of was, but it spilled into the 80s.

[Brian Bishop]

I agree too.

[Adam Carolla]

At some point though, around the early 90s, mid-90s started getting sort of nasty and now it's gotten sort of like this weird angry edge, which is who can do.

[Peter North]

Who can do. Like who can operate to, you know, the other company as far as over the top.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. It used to just be, hey, let's watch good looking people call it a night. Yeah. Like why Is everyone screaming at each other.

[Brian Bishop]

And then all of a sudden the spitting thing. I don't get the gang bang thing.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a degrading thing. It's like they're trying to degrade the women where it used to be. And that's why the scenarios are different. You used to just show up, there'd be. I liked it, by the way, when they would age you and put a little talcum powder in your hair. That was always funny. Like I said. Yeah, it'd be like a 29 year old Peter north except for somebody put some weird flower in his hair, I guess. Didn't have a big budget for special effects, but you know, sometimes I think about talking to porn stars about movies I've seen them in and go, wow, man, that was a sexy scene. But then I realized you probably don't remember.

[Peter North]

So many people have come up to me and asked me about this scene or this movie and that movie. Just particular ones that would stand out.

[Adam Carolla]

I just watched Peter in a movie last week, the Ozone. Because it was, it was the one that was written by mutual friends of ours, Adam, Rick and Paul. Really? Yeah. They wrote the Ozone. Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

What is the plot of the Ozone?

[Peter North]

What is the plot?

[Adam Carolla]

The plot is anyone who has an orc within this scientific laboratory travels through time. Yes. Rick's work. Yeah. Now do you remember that one? That's the beauty of it. And so, so you, now you're 17, you're out here and.

[Peter North]

Well, it was a little later that.

[Brian Bishop]

A little later had a little debt.

[Adam Carolla]

And a little debt which.

[Brian Bishop]

How did you.

[Peter North]

I was actually out here like in I think my 20s.

[Adam Carolla]

20S. And when did the early 20s porn career just begin then? That's when it began. Yeah, yeah. And was there a moment like where you realize you should have stepping through a threshold where you really. The door's gonna shut behind you. Like my parents might find out or my football coach from Canada may find out about this. Like this is the 80s, right. So it's like stuff's on tape, stuff's coming up on cassettes. So stuff's getting spread around. But there's no Internet.

[Peter North]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

And minus the Internet, you're thinking mom's never gonna grab one of these tapes.

[Peter North]

Not even thinking of the ramifications, really. And I talked to a lot of girls.

[Adam Carolla]

Another movie Rick and Paul wrote Ramifications.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, thinking about it. Right?

[Peter North]

No, didn't even. You know, you get on that, that train and you take that journey and you get off at one point or you stay on the train and just, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

And now obviously your folks know, your friends, I mean, they know.

[Peter North]

Yeah, my mother and my sister weren't too happy about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Your dad was okay with dad?

[Peter North]

He was the first one to know about it. And he didn't say too much about it. He just kind of like. My mother found out through a different newspaper. Second page of the newspaper, I was putting out a book called Penetrating Insights. And it wasn't. Simon Schuster actually reached out to me and us and my ghost writer.

[Adam Carolla]

We say us. You mean you and your cock don't reach out to the north or you might get hit something.

[Peter North]

They were interested in publishing it, but it was more of a beach read. It wasn't like, you know, juicy stuff about the industry.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what is some juicy stuff about the industry from someone who's been around for as long as you've been around? I mean, you must have seen the drugs, the coke, the aids. I mean, to be honest, Adam, I.

[Peter North]

Didn'T see a lot of. I just kind of like in my own world down in Orange County. I go from the Valley, drive back down to Orange county or come up to the Valley, like. But I noticed that, you know, like certain people like Tracy Lorde saying, you know, that she, you know, was under the influence of drugs and stuff like that. She was. She was having sex off camera. Really? In another room during shoots. Yeah, another shoot was being actually filmed. This one was not.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, and did you. So that sort of innocent, drugged up, victimized stuff, you're not. You're not buying. So if you ever showed up to the set and seen someone and went, I don't want to work with that person. Like, I'm not attracted to that person, or they smell like garlic, or they backed over my dog.

[Peter North]

Been a couple times, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? How'd that go? What do you do?

[Peter North]

You kind of pull the director off to the side and. Yeah, you don't either. Someone, you know, has to go type of thing. And generally it's. It's the woman's world.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Peter North]

You know.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I hear a lot of guys, like, I've heard someone say that when a guy wants to break into straight porn, he has to bring a chick with him. That's true.

[Peter North]

That's the key, opens the door.

[Adam Carolla]

That's why they tell everybody what, what kind of. Just for fun. What kind of money were they paying guys back in the day? Like back in the early 80s, mid-80s.

[Peter North]

Like just compilation scenes, like, just. They weren't like threaded to anything. It's just basic scene it was like 250 bucks I remember getting per scene.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Peter North]

For like maybe not even an hour of work.

[Brian Bishop]

Was that the gay porn or the straight?

[Peter North]

Oh, the straight.

[Brian Bishop]

And the gay porn was more.

[Peter North]

Oh, a lot more.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. See that's why I go. That's why I go gay. So now. But really the only way to make money is to own the website, be the sort of entrepreneur. I'm not the. Not the cock for hire, as it were. Right.

[Peter North]

Have your own distribution, your own production.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. You know? Yeah. Your own website. You should toss out your website, by the way. Peternorth.com Sandy, cousin Sandy, by the way, gave me a little entry access code and I popped on there the other day and not only have the new stuff, but they have the vintage stuff too. So if you like to take a little whack down memory lane. I like the vintage stuff.

[Peter North]

A lot of people requested that.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you have a favorite? I know you don't remember a lot of your films.

[Adam Carolla]

Police say Taboo too. Well, he wasn't in Taboo too.

[Peter North]

There was, there was one where I was Neutron man. So the superhero.

[Adam Carolla]

So yeah, the. Well, I see, to me the idea, I mean, obviously it's a little different for a guy because you know, for women there's all the stigma and the guys become these heroes. But the idea for a, you know, 21, 22 year old guy from Canada, you're gonna get paid to have sex with a 18 year old. Christy Canyon. And I know her real name because she's from North Hollywood and I asked her on a date when I was 19 and she was 17. She didn't want to go, but she was. Her sister asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance at Walter Reed Elementary. Her. I don't want to say her sister's name, but she's about two years older than she was and she was hot. I mean she was like. It wasn't like she's hot for a porn star or anything. She was a hot 19 year old chick. She had a rack on her like, oh, the sister. No, sister did not. And, and she was, her sister was good looking, but she didn't look anything, anything. Like I don't want to use her real name, Missy, but I can't imagine.

[Brian Bishop]

A Missy would go into porn.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like what are the, what are the chances?

[Brian Bishop]

Usually it's a Ruth.

[Adam Carolla]

Crazy long last name. Yeah, Gilda. But I mean that had to be pretty good. Like, I mean you're just a horny 20 something year old dude too, right? I mean, did you Just go, was it kind of. Tell me this. All right, here's what I want to know. I do stand up comedy and people go, oh man, that's awesome. You're up there, people are laughing, you're telling jokes and it's cool and they're plotting. And he always goes, ah, it's work. You know, you're working, you realize people are looking at you and that kind of stuff. When you're having sex, you're 25 and you're having sex with some hot 22 year old chick, is it work or are you just going, fuck it, I'm into this.

[Peter North]

Yeah, you have to have a good time, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

You do.

[Peter North]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I wish someone had told me that somewhere junior had if you don't have.

[Peter North]

A good, a good time, the scene's not going to happen, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

So you're having a good time.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you form relationships within the porn community?

[Peter North]

I, I went out with one. One, one girl. I tried to keep that away from that because if that bottoms out or falls apart, then that person won't work with you. Or, you know, you're a blackball type thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You're going to be blue ball, I mean body ball.

[Peter North]

And they pulled and black ball.

[Brian Bishop]

So it was just one time.

[Peter North]

There was one person that I had dated from the industry and now.

[Adam Carolla]

And then. What about dating outside of the industry? Because somebody told me once and maybe when we're, it was when we were getting together, the man show shoot or something, we're talking about Peter North. And then someone said, oh, he tries to live all that down and he, he keeps a low profile. He's not out there, you know, like Ron Jeremy. He's always out there and he's advertising. Hey, that's what I do. And I want to be in movies and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said that Peter north sort of keeps it on, on the dq, but. Or wait a minute, one said disqualified. It's a boxing thing. But was that true? Were you like leading a double life?

[Peter North]

I, at the beginning I was like, you know, girls, I, I was dating different girls, you know, really nice girls and stuff like that. And I just, I, that's not the first thing I'm going to tell them.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Peter North]

You know, and I like to get them to know me as me and then kind of. But this one girl that I was going out with, we. People kept coming up to me and I knew they were recognizing me and I'm like trying to like avoid the situation.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Peter North]

And they're. And she's like, saying afterwards, because you're a really popular guy, a lot of people know you, right? And I'm like, yeah, if only you knew. I mean, I had my mother and my sister in town at Universal Studios before they knew. And I saw this. I saw this. These two guys from I don't know where, and I knew they recognized, you know, that.

[Adam Carolla]

That look. Yeah. Or there's a grease fire in the kitchen and they want you to come on it. Fire extinguisher won't do. The bucket of sand's gone. Peter Norris at Table 8. Your son's a hero. What are you talking about, man? But, yeah, that look, you see that guy that goes, hey, for me, it's, hey, man show. But I can tell it said, oh, it's that guy.

[Peter North]

So I gave them the look of like, don't even come close.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't.

[Peter North]

You know? And so I avoided that situation at the time.

[Adam Carolla]

So you were with your mom and your sister at the time? Yeah.

[Peter North]

That was kind of interesting because the Marilyn Monroe look alike. She kind of was smiling at me.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Peter North]

On Holidays Boulevard, universally.

[Adam Carolla]

Plus, it had to be confusing too, like, trying to keep those two lives separate. Because then you'd go home and you'd be with your girlfriend or. So when you're dating and you'd be intimate and you'd be done having sex, be like $300. 3. Come on, cash. Come on. What is this? This is such bullshit. I just came on you now. Come on. $300.

[Brian Bishop]

Also, in. In people's regular sex lives, they don't do a lot of decorating, you know what I mean? It's mostly interior decorating, if you know what I'm saying.

[Peter North]

It is, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So how did that go over?

[Peter North]

And sometimes I. I've. I've done it outside and just kind of like, it was almost like, you know, entrenched in me a habit.

[Brian Bishop]

So with no warning, you just decorated like a civilian?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Peter North]

Oh, yeah, a number of times.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And wildlife. No, I mean, he hit the food truck outside. You see, like. You see like, boxers after they've been knocked out, throwing a punch, like, on the ground, you know, it's just like that's where their brain's at, you know what I mean? It's like an instinct. So you do enough of that move instinctually, then you're gonna bring that into your brain.

[Brian Bishop]

What was the response?

[Peter North]

Like, sometimes it was. It was okay, but other times it was like, oh, what a mess. It's like, it's in my eye. It's like, let Me go to the bathroom, rinse out my eye and stuff like that.

[Adam Carolla]

So, yeah, that's what it's like. What do you think the reaction is? Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

It would just be very strange if without discussing it before, beforehand, like, if someone were to say, hey, I've seen a lot of porn. This looks kind of fun. Would you mind? That's one thing. But if without warning, it's getting kind of cathartic, too. It's not happening to me.

[Peter North]

What if you were hot and heavy and the guy says, I want to come on your face, I want to come on your boobs, or whatever?

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Peter North]

Would that stop your momentum? Was that.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

At least I'd be made aware ahead of time. I just. I think I need. I need some kind of warning.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you want to be able to get the wax paper out, cover your boobs. Let me get Peter north gets there 3D glasses on. Yeah, I would imagine. I'd imagine with the reputation you had then, were some of the actresses sort of going, hey, listen, I just had my hair done. Yeah. Like, let's just keep it on the tits. Or like, I don't want. I don't want to duck. Or like, was there a discussion? Because I gotta know. Coming up again.

[Peter North]

Good point. The main thing that was said was keep it out of my eyes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Peter North]

Then I'd hit me in the eyes and I tell them, you know, after I tried to avoid it, and they get it in the eyes. I said, once the gun goes off, we have no, you know, control or aim.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a splendor. Push. It's just not. It's not a finely rifled, you know, sniper's rifle. It's a shotgun at best.

[Peter North]

Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

It's gonna be collateral damage to your Irish.

[Adam Carolla]

That was a good question I asked. Thank you. And it's one, by the way, Charlie Rose, if you're listening, it's one he missed.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You really plumb the depths. Yeah, I mean, I don't even. What's wrong with getting it in your eye?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you get the pink eye. Happens on occasion. By the way, getting anything in your. Getting one of your own eyelashes in your eye sucks. So imagine a big batch of Peter North. You know what I mean? I mean, everything in your eye but air blows, and then even air sucks eventually. Think how shitty your eyes are. One of your own eyelashes falls in your eye and you're like, hold on, I'll pull over. Can you fucking see that's attached to your eye and it can't get in your eye?

[Brian Bishop]

May I ask, Peter, this might be delicate, but you said on a couple of occasions you showed up on set and there was a woman and you had to pull the director aside and say, I can't be doing her today. Why?

[Peter North]

Just various reasons. I mean, it might not even be right away. It may be like hygiene. Like Adam was mentioning earlier.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, sure, Rue McClanahan was not at.

[Brian Bishop]

Her best, you know, but you think you're showing up, you know, hygiene.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But you gotta also think that half these people are high. If someone is.

[Peter North]

If I think someone's on drugs or something like that, or messed up, and I'm not down with that.

[Adam Carolla]

But hygiene. Really?

[Peter North]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

High or hygiene?

[Adam Carolla]

High and hygiene. And then what's the director do? How's that discussion work?

[Peter North]

Sometimes they get on the phone. The PA gets on the phone and gets someone else to come in or they replace me.

[Brian Bishop]

If you're sent home from a porn because of your hygiene, I feel like that's a moment where you just kind of have to think things are going very poorly for me.

[Adam Carolla]

Are there understudies in porn? Yeah, that's Peter North. Wouldn't you? Wow, that's basically 1600 other chicks have made the cut, but not you. You and your smelly vagina need to hit the brakes. That's time to take a good. That's what they call gut check. Go home and get your shine box. Yeah, yeah. Good long look in the porn mirror. Hey, T, do you have some more news, by the way?

[Brian Bishop]

I do.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you what.

[Teresa Strasser]

Now the rest of the news with Teresa Strasser.

[Adam Carolla]

I should point out to people that they can go to. Go to my PC and they can try it out for free. That's right. 45 days, they get a free trial offer and all they got to do is use my name in the promo code box. Visit GoToMyPC.com again. It's like leaving. I'm going out of town this coming weekend, but not really because I'm a member of Go to my PC. I signed up and thus I can get to my work computer. I can get to my home computer. You can get to your work computer, your home repeater. You could be on the set of your porn. Realize, hey, there's something that I'm missing from my home computer. Jump right on anyone else's computer, access it. And same with work. I know a lot of your business is going through the computer these days. Go to my PC dot com. 45 day free trial. Try it free and just use the promo code. Adam visit go to my PC dot com. All right, T. Now the rest of the news.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, earlier we were talking to the Ragin Cajun. Was that his name? Runs a food truck now. He loves. He loves dogs so much that he wouldn't watch football while Michael Vick was playing. But he hates alligators enough.

[Adam Carolla]

He just eats, cook them and eat them.

[Brian Bishop]

How about a guy who eats cat? Cops in Buffalo found a live cat marinating in oil and peppers in the back of his owner's truck.

[Adam Carolla]

A live cat marinating. Can you marinate when you're alive?

[Brian Bishop]

That's a good question. Well, we should ask the Cajun.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sure some chicks have stewed in Peter's juices while they were still alive. Nicknamed the Marinator. The Marinator? Yeah, the Marinator.

[Brian Bishop]

Police had pulled over 51 year olds around Thanksgiving time.

[Adam Carolla]

Marinator's coming for you.

[Brian Bishop]

Gary Korcuch, for running a stop sign when they heard incessant meowing coming from his trunk.

[Adam Carolla]

Definitely not a Jew.

[Brian Bishop]

They found the four year old cat, Moishe. No, Navarro.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

With his fur covered in oil, crushed red peppers and chili peppers.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

First he explained that he did it because Navarro is ill tempered. Then he told cops he was going to eat the cat. Then he said a bunch of other things that didn't make sense, including that the male cat neutered was pregnant.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so he's just nuts, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Or hung. Times are tough.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, where do you guys feel like this is such a weird thing? Like there's people that won't eat chicken and they won't eat beef, but they will eat tuna. And to me, a tuna is more a. More majestic creature than a chicken or even a cow. And then there's people that sort of say, well, I'll eat buffalo, but I wouldn't eat a dog. But I would. I wouldn't eat a dog or cat, but they would eat a squirrel.

[Brian Bishop]

It's really like, what the fuck?

[Adam Carolla]

And. And depending on whatever culture you're from, that's what culture. I mean, we make fun of, you know, Indians don't eat cows. And maybe Filipinos or Vietnamese or whatever eat might eat dog. And that's a big deal. But what's the big deal? It's just another animal that's not like, oh, I have a dog. My dog. I have a dog therapist and a dog dentist. How can you eat the dog? It's like they just run around and shit themselves the same as every other animal. What's the big difference between a dog and a cow?

[Brian Bishop]

It's just a cultural taboo that we don't eat cats because we have them as pets. And as you've pointed out, in other countries, they would think it's insane how we treat, say, our dogs, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God. My nanny's from Guatemala. And she just sits there. My dog Molly just sits at the table with her big old drooling mug on my thigh. And then I sit there and take my fork off the plate, stick it to Molly's mouth. She eats a chunk of fat, and then I put the fork back in my mouth. And sometimes I'll just catch her looking at me like, what the fuck is wrong with you, gringo? And I'm like, what? And she's like, ugh. That dog shouldn't be inside and not when you're eating. It shouldn't be. And it's on your bed and it's like it's on the table and you're feeding.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like a child.

[Adam Carolla]

Kids are an animal. Yeah. And it's like, that dog should be outside and she's a nice lady, but culturally, you don't have a dog sitting on you when you're serving food.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, it's interesting because Cesar Millan is from Mexico and he observed a lot of dogs on the farm where he grew up. And he was shocked to come here and find that the dog was the master here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

And not the human.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

And that's why he's good with dogs.

[Adam Carolla]

The two things that confuse people from other countries is dogs being masters and chickens. Dicks. Big master, too. Like, they just come in. They're like, wow, that dog is wooz. He pussy whipped. Wow. What the fuck happened to this country? The dogs? Who's paying for all this? The guy pays for the kibble. The guy pays for the tennis bracelet. Is. The guy's getting the shit kicked out of him all day. What the fuck?

[Brian Bishop]

And by the way, the kids are the parents.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the kids are the parents.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

The wife's the boss, the kids are the parents, and the dog's essentially the queen mascot. And the guy just becomes a fucking mule to bring money back to the home so he can get his ass kicked. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. We're so evolved. This is an awesome arrangement we've made for ourselves, fellas. It's awesome.

[Brian Bishop]

Peter north, do you watch American Idol?

[Peter North]

No, no, I've actually watched some of the.

[Brian Bishop]

So you think you can dance?

[Adam Carolla]

No, no.

[Peter North]

American Idol. Prelims or.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, the early auditions.

[Peter North]

The auditions, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

People are split on that.

[Peter North]

Because that's kind of funny.

[Adam Carolla]

Funny stuff people watch. People watch that part of the show and not watch the second part. I never watched that part. I only watched the last, like, two nights to see, you know, I want to see the Super Bowl. I don't want to watch the preseason. But everyone's like, ah, there's a lot of funny that happens in the preseason, but go ahead. And by the way, I don't want to get more trouble with the Filipinos. Do they eat? What do they eat? They eat anything that's on that. On that. I'll limit to only the Vietnamese.

[Brian Bishop]

That could potentially be like one of those negative cultural stereotypes. But really, they don't eat cat and dog. I'm sort of guessing that they don't. Particularly not here in America.

[Adam Carolla]

What culture, in their indigenous culture eats dog or cat or just dog? For instance, Vietnamese, Laotian, something like that?

[Teresa Strasser]

I think it's Koreans.

[Adam Carolla]

Koreans. All right.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know if that's.

[Adam Carolla]

Check it out. That was Mike Dawson who said that.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, that. I'm not saying Mike Dawson.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm saying threatened by any more Filipinos.

[Teresa Strasser]

By the way, the Filipino that you pay to work on this show says that. No, they don't have any weird diet stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

What? I hired a Filipino.

[Brian Bishop]

There you go. See, there's no weird diet stuff. Am I right? Eat some noodles, eat some chicken, whatever. It's the usual.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I just don't want to eat crow.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, well, Jennifer Lopez was going to be a judge on American Idol. That was the story. A source tells People that People magazine that the actress pop stars out of the running to join the judges panel. According to the insider, JLO had been in the final stages of negotiating a deal, but it suddenly fell apart. Apparently, her demands got out of hand. According to the source, Fox had enough.

[Adam Carolla]

That's shocking. And listen, Ellen did a shitty job and got fired. That's my take on the whole thing. Why does Ellen get a perpetual pass on everything? Why does everyone just sort of. No one talks shit about her. No one ever goes, she was lousy on that show. And then you did a year and it wasn't very. She wasn't very good at it. And they got rid of her. Isn't that what happened?

[Brian Bishop]

She kept her comments very concise. It's hard to be too angry at her.

[Adam Carolla]

And she didn't want to. She didn't want to criticize anyone. She's a comedian.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Was. It was a strange casting choice because music isn't her business, even though she does Dance.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's the whole thing. If. If music isn't your business, then you go there and you be the funny one, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

She didn't do that.

[Brian Bishop]

She had a joker too.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but you would have had many more jokes, I'm guessing.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that leaves a spot for you, my friend.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

Wouldn't you be great on that show?

[Adam Carolla]

I would be excellent on that show. I am such a excellent judger. I never stop judging.

[Brian Bishop]

Judging is what you're all about. I mean, all I do is combining judging and talking.

[Adam Carolla]

I judge people who say you can't judge and think they're assholes.

[Brian Bishop]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, Perez Hilton has been lobbying for the job, and I actually think he'd be good because he's discovered a lot of musical talents.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, here's the reality is. Oh, I do feel like almost anyone can be good. Randy Jackson is a total and utter, utter knob. I mean, he's a nice guy and everything, but, I mean, here's what's in his arsenal. Hey, dog. Wasn't feeling dogs. A little pitchy dog. Hey, dog. That was a pitchy dog. Hey, I want to marinate your dog and put you in my trunk, dog. And that's all he's got, dog. I mean, it's like any Guy says dog 15 times is like a guy who says at the end of the day five times in the same sentence, you don't have anything. So Randy Jackson has nothing in the fucking speak tank, and he's fine on that show. And Paul Abdul, she was entertaining. She's like, on. Had a methadone patch wrapped around her neck like, half the time. I mean, she was out of it completely. And then, as I always said, this is why Simon seemed so bright, because he had two fucking Christmas tree bulbs next to his 60 watt bulb. But there's so many people. It'd be great. Like, Kathy Griffin would be great on a show like that.

[Brian Bishop]

She would be amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

Ellen sucked on that show. I mean, for. I'm not saying she didn't suck for a civilian. Like, if Peter put his mom on the show, I wouldn't be judging her the same way I would judge Ellen. But for someone who's supposed to be very accomplished comedian and very funny and do a very popular daytime talk show, she needed to bring it. She didn't really bring it.

[Brian Bishop]

I think the problem is she was quite careful because she has that daytime audience to protect. Whereas somebody like Paula Allen. Abdul was completely unpredictable due to her proclivity to perhaps medicate some old back injuries. I Don't know. I'm just saying you didn't know it.

[Adam Carolla]

Was going to happen. She was at least nuts and that made it fun. You need somebody nuts need to protect her audience because they were on the QVC buying plastic jewelry.

[Brian Bishop]

Kathy Griffin can go off on whoever she wants as she's been doing forever.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, she would be good. Bill O'Reilly is taking on Jennifer Aniston earlier this week.

[Adam Carolla]

What the, I'd like to see Peter north take on Jennifer Aniston.

[Brian Bishop]

Is she your type?

[Adam Carolla]

I would pay to watch that.

[Peter North]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you even have a type ever? You through the type thing like you?

[Peter North]

I, I, I like brunettes a lot, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay.

[Peter North]

Into that thing with large naturals.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. Oh, great. Christie Canyon fan.

[Peter North]

Exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

How do you feel about the big fake ones?

[Peter North]

Depends on if it was, if it's a good job. I mean, you know, I, I seen some pretty horrendous boob jobs in my time and I bet, yeah. You know, if they're, they're the bolt ons like so hard that, I mean, you can't even get close to her when you're hugging her or kissing her, it's a problem. But if they go to the right doctor and there are some good doctors out there and they get it done right, I mean, they just want to do it so quick. I don't think they research it and do their due diligence and check into it enough.

[Adam Carolla]

It's kind of like a toupee. If you can tell from across the street that the guy's wearing a toupee, it's a bad toupee. And if you can tell from cross. Yeah, some, some boob jobs have been so bad that Peter refused to come on them.

[Brian Bishop]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. He said that's a bad one. He took his, his balls and he swung them over his shoulder and he said good day. Good day to you. Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Earlier this week, Dacer the O'Reilly Factor, the Fox News host ranted against comments Jen made at a press junket for her new movie the Switch. Explained Jen, women are realizing it more and more knowing, knowing that they don't have to settle with a man just to have that child. Times have changed. And that is also what is amazing is that we do have so many options these days. It's getting cathartic as opposed to our parents days when you can't have children because you have waited too long. I hate Angelina Jolie. No, she didn't say that. That comment irked O'Reilly, saying she's throwing a message out to 12 year olds and 13 year olds that hey, you don't need a guy, you don't need, need a dad that is destructive to our society. She's glamorizing single parenthood.

[Adam Carolla]

I watched a trailer for Salt when we went and saw Salt in Arizona last week. And I saw the trailer. You know, this probably showed like five trailers. And you realize there's only eight people who make movies and they must make 15 fucking movies a day. Like, I don't know how it works anymore.

[Brian Bishop]

How can Paul Rudd be in nine places at the same time?

[Adam Carolla]

It's absolutely insane. Like you're, you're literally. And it's not the Salt trailer, but it was all the trailers for all the movies that came before it. And it's just the weirdest thing in the world. You realize there's a super small group, especially comedies, there's like eight male actors and then that's it. Like, and they're doing voiceover on an animated one when they're doing a live action one over here and they're doing a romantic comedy over there and, and they just seem to just keep coming out. I mean, Jennifer Aniston, I feel like, has she ever taken a year off? Like, it feels like three movies come out a year. And some of them are okay, but most of them are forgettable. And her earlier roles were better. And you can say, well, she wants, you know, she's getting a nice payday. When she was a member of the show Friends, I think at one point everyone's getting like a million an episode or something insane. And that shit just went on for, I don't know, eight, nine, ten seasons. I mean, just the money she fucking banked from doing Friends. And you know, she's married to Brad Pitt, so it's not like she married some fucking ne'er do well bartender, you know, rung her out like a bar rag and took her for everything she had. She doesn't seem to be, you know, strung out on coke or play the ponies or anything. So if you have, if you're Jennifer Aniston and you have, have $300 million in the bank and then somebody says, hey, I'll give you $12 million to make a piece of shit. Where you play your ex husband's a bounty hunter and he's chasing you around a track and stuff like, don't you go, hey, fuck that, man. I've done some good films, right 10 years ago, but I've done some good films.

[Brian Bishop]

Jake Gyllenhaal and Where I dressed down.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did a few of them. And, you know, I've got 300 million reasons in the bank why I don't really need to go out and shoot that thing in Florida.

[Brian Bishop]

Why did she do that Gerard Butler thing?

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's two things. I think it's a. Ego meets money meets relevance. I think she feels like if four months go by without her face on a billboard, she's going to go away. And people are paranoid. And it does happen in. In this town very quickly. And it's so weird when you try to think of these people because you can't think of them because that's the whole point. You can't even summon up the name of these people that were like fucking household names. Like, I mean, when I used to be on mtv, I'd see, like, hey, Lou Vega would come in here. He's got Mambo number five or whatever, and he'd come in and was like, hey, I'd see these guys at the top of their shit. Like, he'd come in and, you know. You know, I'd always ask him, like, well, so what's next? Oh, man, the world, you know. Movies. Another record. That was fucking in 1998. Where's Lou Vega now? Probably hoping that Peter does a film with him.

[Brian Bishop]

You've actually increased my understanding of Jennifer Aniston now. Because why should she sit home and risk becoming irrelevant when she can do some crappy movie that at least some people will enjoy? It's probably not going to completely tank like the Bounty Hunter. I mean, usually people sort. I mean, they do okay, right? Or people would suck.

[Adam Carolla]

It's this whole thing where even the ones that don't do well end up doing well. When you get to foreign markets and ancillary shit. And either way, you don't realize, like, again, all you got to do is travel out of our little shitty, snobby inner circle here in the blue state and get outside. You'll see people. X Games. Yeah, that was a. That was a Bounty Hunter. That was a good game. That was a good movie. Can't wait for the movie. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Date night.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.

[Peter North]

Also meeting up with, you know, doing something with a main leading guy, you know, like trying to work with Gerard Butler, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying, though, at a certain point, when you have no kids, no drug habit, believe me, whatever house she bought in 99 is worth 10 times as much as it was when she paid for it in Malibu back in the day. Come on, you got 300 million bucks in the bank and a bunch of endorsement deals like, fuck it. Pick your scripts a little bit now. This next one may be fine. I don't have the problem. I'm just basing this on seven of her last 11 choices.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you think she reads the script? It seems better on paper.

[Adam Carolla]

I think part of the problem is as well is you have an agent, and 10% of $14 million is a nice little payday, and you don't give a fuck about what's good and what's bad and all that artistic bullshit. As a matter of fact, the last thing you want is her going out and doing some indie where she works for, you know, three weeks and gets paid scale. And 10% of scale is shit. So I think it's their people. And their people will go, oh, no, it's good. Oh, no, I read the script. Yeah. And you don't realize, like, they'll go, like, Gerard Butler's a big fan. He's a big star. And the ladies, you're perfect for this. And I read the script, and you're funny. And some people don't realize, I don't know how funny you could be when you're running from a guy who's chasing you on a racing scene, when you.

[Brian Bishop]

Do that physical comedy.

[Adam Carolla]

So. Well, there's that scene where you pop out of the trunk is gonna be awesome. Yeah. Meanwhile, they're just getting 10%. All that shit, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Exactly. Well, I'll leave you with this last story. Since Peter north is here, you may have the opportunity to see the bachelorette Allie. Her breastesses.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Now that she's gained a little fame, folks from her past are trying to profit from it. Radar Online reports that an ex boyfriend is attempting to sell photos of a topless ally on her knees. Hands covering her breasts. Okay. Hands covering her breasts while beer is being poured on her breasts by someone off camera.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Peter North]

What a shocker.

[Adam Carolla]

And by the way, let's not raise an eyebrow for Peter North. So she's covering herself up, right?

[Brian Bishop]

She's covering her breasts with her hands, but somebody is pouring beer on them, according to this report.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but who gives a shit, right?

[Brian Bishop]

That's nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

But here's the whole thing. You just. You. You just did a reality show where you ran around on bikini and. And took turns jumping into hot tubs with dudes and making out with them. And that was on primetime abc. Right. I mean, and then you'd go off to the guy's hut, and then we'd see the, you know, shade be drawn on the window. And, like, we're assuming you're making out with all these, like, we're onto you. A little nip slip is nothing for you, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Exactly. In addition, Star magazine got hold of pages from her diary which allegedly reveal the shocking news that she likes to party, once used the drug ecstasy. And they've posted Star magazine a photo of her taking a hit from a bong.

[Adam Carolla]

I know I'm the guy who's always banging the drum about this and leading the charge on this, but got hold of her diary. You know, this thing that. It's a. I mean, it's a really weird thing and. All right, I'll be cool, but I gotta preach for just a second. We were really worried after 9, 11, when everyone started talking about, well, we're gonna need to see two forms id and they're gonna start. You should put some cameras up and so we can see people and film people on the sidewalks at night and see if there's anyone planting a dirty bomb in a trash can and stuff. And we as Americans are very sort of protective over our civil liberties and our anonymity and our, you know, it's why people buy shredders and we don't want our identity stolen and we don't want people using our likeness. And we have a very, you know, put the limo tint on the car window so people don't look at you and blah, blah, blah. We have a very weird. We're kind of weird about that and we're kind of protective about it. And I don't know how they are in other countries, but, you know, when the cops start putting up the cameras at the intersections, like, people get freaked out by that. Like, hey, you can't do that. But this one part we seem to have left slide by completely. The part where somebody stolen your diary or your porn tape or your honeymoon tape, or we have pictures from an old boyfriend. Every fucking old boyfriend is going to have some pictures or some love letters or something embarrassing because people are drunk and you get the video camera out and they're toasting your 21st birthday and you're pretending to go down on a banana or something. I mean, it's all. The reason I know it's all out there is because it pops up every time the chick wins Miss America or Miss Universe or Miss Rare. It's like some guy, boom, hey, I got old tape, Boom. I got an old picture. Boom. I got a fucking diary. When is somebody gonna fucking pipe up and go, this is where we're losing it. The cameras in the streets, that's on the sidewalk, that's to try to stop terrorism and to prevent street crime. Like, at least there's a reason for that. Yes, they're gonna see you picking your nose, but they're really going to focus on terrorists. And, you know, when we're talking about, oh, the new screeners at the airports are very revealing. How much can they see? Well, they're trying to stop the plane you're getting on from blowing up. So that much I understand. Let the guy see my botched circumcision. I mean, Mike's botched circumcision. Let them see that in the name of safety for air flight. But this part is really starting to fucking just spin out. Like what? I mean, an old boyfriend, Someone got hold of their diary and they're selling it to radar and it never seems to be any consequences. Just like I found that it got these pictures, an old boyfriend, old whatever, and sold them. Is that really where we're heading? And why doesn't somebody pipe up? The reason people don't pipe up is because it's celebrities. And whenever it's a celebrity or someone who's notable or someone's on tv, they go, well, you shouldn't have signed up. Yeah, you signed up for it. That's who you signed up to be. But really, that's not what they signed up for. They signed up to be a comedian or an actor to make movies or reality shows, but then sign up to have ex boyfriends or somebody steal diary and show pictures. And by the way, can we stop being so blown away by it? She did a drug once. He smoked marijuana. She simulated oral on a bomb pop. Like, didn't we all get buzzed? Didn't we all fuck around? God knows if someone had had a camera, we all the fucking Peter, forget about you. Million hours of you fucking.

[Brian Bishop]

But the point is, preaching to the decorator.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. The point is, of course everyone's tried pot or cocaine or got high or did whatever. Can we just stop going, oh, you mean the blonde bimbo from the Bachelor is going to go on a reality show to meet her next husband? She did drugs. She tried ecstasy. Stop the fucking presses. Jesus Christ. She's not running for Senate. Some fucking bitch on reality tv.

[Brian Bishop]

And by the way, ex boyfriend, how about you get some dignity and work for a living instead of selling photos of your ex girlfriend's tits?

[Adam Carolla]

And somebody should fucking just call these guys out and get pictures of them and then post them on some fucking website called antidouchebag.com and start fucking ratting these guys out because they're so fucking. It's horrible, right? And what happened to fucking dignity? Remember the day, Peter, like when a man would use his to shoot his load on it? All right, anyways, anyway, yeah, that was.

[Teresa Strasser]

The news with Teresa Strasser. Eat a dick, msnbc.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I want to give a final shout out to our good friends over at Stitcher. You can check out the Adam Carolla show and hear exclusive extra that we do right after the show on Stitcher. Exclusively on Stitcher. It's an app. Stitcher.com is where you go throw it right on your iPhone, your BlackBerry, Android and Palm. No more downloading or syncing. It's just the Adam Carolla show there waiting for you, ready every morning in real time. So what the hell? Stitcher.com, everybody. I want to thank the radio Ragin Cajun for coming in here. Stephen, what the hell?

[Brian Bishop]

Domang domain Domang.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, couldn't pronounce it. And you can check him [e-mail] you can also check out our buddy peter [e-mail] Good. Especially if you like the vintage stuff as well. I'd shake your hand, Peter, but I'm scared and I'd never be able to fry it off. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Mike Lynch, Peter north and Teresa Strasser saying mahalo.

[Teresa Strasser]

And now your Adam Carolla extra.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, kitty's ace man here with your Stitcher Extra content. Talked earlier in the podcast. Touched on it briefly. The bouncy cast. Yeah, man, where the hell were our bouncy castles? You know what I had? I had a stick with a horse's head on it, probably filled with horse hair. Then you'd put it between your legs and you'd ride around on it. If I gave that to my kid, he'd shove it up my ass. Imagine saying to your kid, hey, here's a broomstick and it's got this horse head on it that's about the size of a throw pillow. And then you put it between your legs and you run around like you're on a horse. Like, hey, dad, how about you put your thumb in your ass and spin around? Fuck you. They beat the shit out of you with the stick. You know what they do? If you gave your average, like 8 year old that horsey stick, and I didn't know what that was called, was it a hobby horse or is that something else? But either way, that stick, you know, that stick with the horse head on it, it's probably a 50s 60s thing, but I still remember having one. You hand it to your average 8 year old, he takes it, he clutches it in the middle. He does a very quick move where he puts the horse's head under his right armpit and pops it off and then twirls it around like a ninja master. Grabs both ends of it, jumps over it once, once jumps over it backwards without ever releasing it from his right or left hand, then spins it around, goes into a quick kata. And then you feel the cold sting of it on the right side of your neck as you're blacking out and going down to the ground. You're feeling it, you're feeling its dry sting go up your ass. I don't even think most 8 year olds would give you the dignity of spitting on the end before they shoved it up your ass. You're going to dry hobby horse raping with that thing. Could you imagine? They go like, what do you do with this thing? Well, you put it between your legs and you just, you, you prance about the yard. Giddy up. Stick with a stuffed miniature head on it. This is awesome. Yeah. Probably second only to that hoop that guys in knickers would spin with a slightly smaller stick. Probably worst, worst gift ever. And if you think about those guys spinning the sticks with the stick and the hoop they run down the street. Unclear if a guy ever actually did that or there's just drawings of guys doing that. I've never actually seen a photograph of a kid doing that. I think like Norman Rockwell dreamt that one up and it just stuck. I've never, I've only seen pencil and charcoal drawings of that. But if you want to think like, like first off, on a cobblestone road, that is a horrible gig. And this is before vulcanized rubber. These guys aren't wearing Air Jordans or air Harachis or Pumas. They're wearing like dress shoes. Leather, leather soled dress shoes with black heels in them, running down the street with their stick and their hoop. I like to get these stick and hoop guys together with the hobby horse stick and stuffed head guys to figure out who really got the toy shaft. Like I'd really. That'd be that. That's an argument I'd like to have. Who, who got the fucking shiv in the toy department? Well, either way, my kids probably home screwing his avatar right now.

[Teresa Strasser]

That was your Adam Carolla extra.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, this is Adam Carolla. Show 381.

[Giovanni]

Coming up next, we have Adam Carolla show 945. This episode is featuring 3D Johnson, Allison Rosen, Brian Bishop.

[Adam Carolla]

This one's from 2012.

[Giovanni]

Freddy Johnson, a singer, songwriter, really talented musician. His works all over the movie kingpin from the Farrelli brothers, who are underrated.

[Ralph Sutton]

With their needle drops.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably some of the best in film history. Along with like road trip sequences. Freddy came in studio, he explained some of the meaning of his songs. Had a lot of fun with the gang. Overall was a really fun vibe and hang. Hope you guys enjoy. Good day, Allison Rose.

[Gina Grad]

Hello, Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Baldbrine.

[Gina Grad]

My underwear right now is sopping wet and I'm super fucking uncomfortable.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's just move on with the show.

[Gina Grad]

I mean, no yeast infection yet, but fingers crossed.

[Adam Carolla]

Where are the fingers? Friedie Johnston is coming in. I love this guy's work. Perfect World. This Perfect World is a great, great album that I. It's just one of those. Every song on it you love. I was house sitting my friend in 1994, my friend's house, who had a CD player and CDs, and he had Freedy Johnston's CD. And I just listened to it over and over again as I was yelling.

[Gina Grad]

At his, yeah, who is this rich friend?

[Adam Carolla]

His name is Alex Arado and he's a lawyer name dropper, if you read the book. Not Taco Bell material. He's the one who Ray would bum the food off of and then urinate on and then act shocked when he asked him to get out of the car. Asked.

[Giovanni]

Asked him to get out of the car. Ray, do me a favor.

[Adam Carolla]

He pulled over and said, get out of my car. And Rice said, what for? And he said, you peed on me while I was driving. And he said, so what? I mean, it was like. It was that scene in Slap Shot when the Hanson brothers were like pounding on the other guy's face and the ref said, you out? And he said, what for? Like, sort of like middle mid punch to the face or he was like smashing his head against the ice or something. I just love the fact that Ray was confused why this individual wanted him out of his car.

[Gina Grad]

Very indignant. It sounds like it was as if.

[Adam Carolla]

He was sitting in the backseat of the car and opened a Fun Size Snickers bar. And the person went, there's just no food in the car. You have to get out. And Ray's take was, wow, I can't believe you're so uptight. But except, except replace Fun Size Snickers bar. With being peed on while you're driving after buying the guy a meal. Fat burger, double king cheese, by the way, probably with an egg on top.

[Giovanni]

So it was worth it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So I was there with. I used to house it. You know, life isn't fantastic when you're 29 years old and somebody has a moderately sized, probably 18, 1900 square foot home in the Van Nuys area. No swimming pool, Van Nuys adjacent with a dog named Barney that never stops yapping and chewing and barking and screaming and crying. And somebody says, can you house sit for three days for free, by the way? And you jump on it like, oh, my God, I got a bedroom over here. And then a whole separate room that has a TV set in it called the living room.

[Gina Grad]

And I don't even have to pay them.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God.

[Gina Grad]

That actually brings me to something that I need to complain about for a second, which is, I feel like your story notwithstanding, people in general don't realize what a hassle it is to. In general to house sit. Because I feel like people ask me a lot, do I want to house sit? And they act. And especially if there's a pet involved. And they act like they're almost doing me a favor.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

And unless you're Adam back in whatever year it was, it's actually a huge pain in the ass.

[Adam Carolla]

Barney. His dog was nuts. His dog got out the fucking front door and took off. And I mean, not took off in the neighborhood. Took off down Oxnard Boulevard, like Main Street, San Fernando Valley. I found this dog three miles from where I'd been running down fucking Oxnard. And if they'd gotten hit, that would have been it with me and Alex.

[Gina Grad]

He had been planning, especially because he's a lawyer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Giovanni]

Like Tim Robbins in the Shawshank connection.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. But I perpetrated one of my great. This dog tortured me for four days straight. And finally I got him back. I went over to the.

[Giovanni]

You showed him.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I lubed up that curling iron, but I made sure it was good and hot.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, God. Ew. Spiral iron will be better.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't say it was dry. I said I lubed it up. But it was good and hot. I was eating from the Zancoo chicken. This was the same Zancoo in Van Nuys that when they wouldn't give me the 5050 Shawarma plate, I drove from the Van Nuys one to the one in deep Hollywood.

[Giovanni]

You showed them.

[Adam Carolla]

Prove a point.

[Giovanni]

Showed them, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I showed them. And the dog did nothing but bother me. The Whole I'm sitting there eating my chicken and the dog was pawing at me and going at me and doing the whole thing. So I took that radish. You know they do that weird red radish y thing on the side.

[Gina Grad]

You make like a radish rose out of it.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't even do the. No, not the radish rose. This is like rhubarb or something that's in pickle. It's like pickled horseradishy. They're chunky though. Mike, help me out here. Lynch, what is that? Zancoo Chunky, you know, horseradishy. It's like a purple. It's like a pickled. It's like a pickled turnip or something. Yeah, it's a turnip. It's a turnip, but it's big. I mean it's the size of a large thick cut fry. And the dog was bothering me the whole time. And I finally gave it to. Hey Barney, want a little something? And I handed him that and it did its thing that I love when dogs do, which took one bite, looked confused and then did the thing where they just opened their mouth and let it fall out. Like you kind of wish you could do it, but you can't. But dogs can. They have the ability to spit. Thank God. He would spat at me, but he just did a. It just felt. Fell right out of its mouth. There's the pickled turnip, which is badass. And by the way, my son likes the Zancoo chicken pickled turnip, which is the furthest thing away. Adults don't like it.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, weird palate.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to have hair on your fucking back and believe in honor killings in order to enjoy that. You really do. And somehow my son enjoys honor kill. I mean enjoys these pickled radishes or these pickled whatever. All right, so. And I listened to hell out of Fredie Johnson the whole time I was there. And just. Just an amazing songwriter. So he'll be in in a couple of few. Also went over to Phil Rosenthal's house and watched Flight with Denzel Washington last night up on his, I don't know, 14 foot screen or whatever it is.

[Giovanni]

When you say with Denzel, do you mean you actually watched it with. That's on the table, by the way, at Phil Rosenthal.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, it is. And he is part of this new rich guy network where they will actually get you movies that aren't in the theater yet.

[Gina Grad]

I saw a trailer for a flight.

[Adam Carolla]

Special, you know, equipment, projector, whatever. And then you Watch. You can have your little, you know, sort of rich white guy parties, but I think you gotta be in the industry.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the plan.

[Gina Grad]

What's the cap? How many million do you have to bring down before you get this kind of equipment?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I just know there's a handful of people that have this, and I'm sure Barbra Streisand has it. I mean, I don't know. It was the equivalent to whatever Elvis Presley was doing, but without the reel to reel or whatever president does, or they wanna get a movie, they wanna see it in advance. When Obama says, I wanna see this movie two weeks before it goes out, I'm sure he gets that movie. And then they pray that he says something about it somewhere.

[Giovanni]

I hear it's insanely expensive, but if you're, you know, sitting on a pile of money, then it's worth it to not have to, you know, go to the theater and be hassled and, you know, blah, blah, all that. And you can just see the new releases in the comfort of your own home.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not even go to the theaters and be hassled. It's before the theaters. I mean, it's not even if you're.

[Gina Grad]

Rich enough, you can see it before they even make it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Giovanni]

See the dailies.

[Adam Carolla]

So flight not good. And Denzel Washington is good, but. And the story is good. Just a little corny and a little preachy and everyone agree, not so great.

[Gina Grad]

It's about a pilot who does some fantastic landing, and then it turns out that he had a high blood alcohol.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Gina Grad]

And then they wonder if he is possibly, like, implicated in what happened. Is that how it goes?

[Adam Carolla]

Or it's kind of a flawed story. It's an interesting story, but it's a flawed story. And that they say. And we're not saying anything that I don't think anyone can glean.

[Gina Grad]

No, I. Glee.

[Adam Carolla]

From the commercial. Yeah. Which is you did a thing that 10 out of 10 pilots couldn't do on the simulator and thus saved 100 souls, but you had some vodka in your system, so you're going to jail, which is a weird. It's kind of. I understand what they're talking about, but if you did the thing that 10 out of 10 pilots couldn't pull off, and you pulled it off, and there's 100 souls on the ground. Just think. I don't. I just think almost by popular opinion, you wouldn't be allowed to go.

[Giovanni]

That's too bad to hear. That's not great because Robert Zemeckis, I don't think gets the credit he deserves for being a great director. Back to the Future and Forrest Gump and, you know, Cast Away.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it was funny because I said to Mike Lynch, I like Zemeckis. And then he said, he's a little bit corny for me. And I said, interesting, because that's what this movie was.

[Giovanni]

But his best movies are amongst any director.

[Adam Carolla]

I love Force. I love Force.

[Giovanni]

Back the Future is a perfect movie. It's a fantastic movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I like Forrest Gump more. I like Zemeckis a lot. And very interesting first act. And the plane crash was unbelievable. Imagine with the technology we have now and all that. And Denzel Washington was good, but 45 minutes in, I was like, do not care what happens. And not a good movie, not a bad movie.

[Gina Grad]

Was it inspired by Sully at all? Was there. Are there Sully overtones?

[Adam Carolla]

I can tell you now that the. Well, no, I don't think there were solely overtones because Sully never had any issues. This was sort of Lance Armstrong meets the Alaskan air flight of an MD80 that was coming into LAX and crashed into the ocean. MD80 had a bad. Had jack screw in the. For the rear stabilizer. And that was part of the issue with this thing. So it was probably like torn from the. From the headlines. But anyway, not a bad movie. Just not. You'll. You'll not walk. I walked. I walked out and I convened with everybody and I said, that wasn't that good, was it? And everyone went, no, really, really wasn't. It was pretty good acting and a good overall story with. With not a great execution. So it seemed like Zemeckis may have lost his fastball a little bit. Speaking of movies, I'm going to wreck it Ralph to the premiere tonight because as it turns out, I'm in that movie. And it's good because it's got my daughter into me because I told you, she's a star effer. So she'll be down with daddy.

[Giovanni]

She's on the Corolla bandwagon.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. She's dead temporarily. It's not going to last. But she's back on the Corolla bandwagon.

[Giovanni]

She's like the bcs. She has rankings about every week and you go up and down depending on movies you have coming out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And once in a while I get beat by like Fresno State or something, and I drop way down in the rankings.

[Gina Grad]

Italia's leaderboard.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So I got that to look forward to doing the red carpet and everything tonight.

[Gina Grad]

Do you think they'll ask you a lot of questions about what it was like to be a donut?

[Adam Carolla]

I have no idea what to expect. I'm going mainly because it's at the El Capitan Theater, which is unbelievable. Just a beautiful old unbelievable theater. And also for the kids. And yeah, I guess me and Horatio Sands. I'm looking at Horatio Sands there.

[Giovanni]

Skinny Horatio.

[Adam Carolla]

Skinny Horatio. But let me ask you guys something and tell me how you're wired. So somebody earlier today, they tweeted me, oh, check this thing out on YouTube. And it was some long winded rant of mine. But I went. And then when I went to YouTube, it was also like, Sarah Silverman tears. Adam Carolla, a new asshole. You know, And Sarah's a friend of mine and I'm going to see her tonight. And I didn't click on it because I didn't really want to listen to whatever she said about me. Vis a vis. The women aren't funny. Even though I didn't say women aren't funny. I said they're not as funny as guys. But I understand everyone has to overreact and protest too much and all that. And I'm sure she did what she did. And I like Sarah and I'm gonna see her. And I didn't want to see it, so I didn't click on it. I'm not gonna click on it. I won't. I don't really think she looks at me as a bad person. And I'm not even curious as to what she had to say about me. But what would you guys do if. Well, now it's got to be a famous person. It's gotta be Sarah Silverman. Teres. Brian, whatever your last name is. A new asshole. Would you.

[Giovanni]

My last name is Brian. First name bald.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, Bald Brian, a new asshole. Would you take a look at it before.

[Giovanni]

I'll get just as a footnote to this. I feel like a lot of these headlines of YouTube clips and as such. And controversial or.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I know what you're driving at.

[Giovanni]

I think they're a little hysterical because it's like, I'm sure you saw the newscaster that responded to the Internet troll that called her fat. There was this clip going around and it says, like, newscaster absolutely destroys Internet troll. And if you watch it, it's like, I disagree with this young man.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Giovanni]

There's not a whole lot of destroying.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you're right.

[Giovanni]

I don't think Sarah probably ripped you. No asshole.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Giovanni]

Anyway. Allison.

[Gina Grad]

Well, no, no, I was gonna say that too, but let's answer the question of if we saw, you know, if you saw Michael Biehn rips Ball Bryant a new asshole, what would you do?

[Adam Carolla]

What would you do? Hold on. It's gonna tell you. He'd kill himself. What would you do? Would you look at it? Yeah. And what if you knew you were gonna see Michael Biehn later that day?

[Giovanni]

This is. This is a very likely scenario. That's why I'm thinking, yes, I know. I'd have to watch it.

[Adam Carolla]

You'd have to watch it.

[Gina Grad]

I'd make someone close to me watch it.

[Adam Carolla]

I think nine out of 10 people would watch it. I'm not watching it because I'm so delicately wired that I'd just become a heap. I'm just not interested. I don't want. I've said things about people that I like that aren't flattering. As a matter of fact, that's usually how it goes in life. Sometimes they're family members, co workers, friends, whoever you rarely talk about, just utter strangers because they're not in your, you know, not anywhere in your life. So I realized that. I also realized, like, I got enough negative shit floating around in my head and I'd like to see her on the red carpet with a semi pure heart and not be pretending like I didn't see something or whatever. Something. So I just don't choose not to look at it. But it doesn't bother me and I'm not curious.

[Gina Grad]

And I'm also the healthiest of all totally non human responses.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. See, again, they laugh at me for being dead inside, but now it's so convenient at times.

[Giovanni]

You'll show them.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Also, speaking of being dead inside, somebody tweeted me this list of notable people with the Asperger syndrome. And of course, I was on the list with a whole bunch of people whose tax bracket I wish I was in. So I was just like, if you just got rid of Asperger's and just put something else in, like successful guy syndrome, Sigma Phi alumni or something, you'd go, you gotta get in that. Fuck. You gotta get in that fraternity, man. It's nothing. But who are some of the people? I was gonna say, oh, you can go to my favorite tweets, Gary, if you're on there and find it. But it was. I mean, it's presidents and Mark Zuckerberg.

[Gina Grad]

And really they think Romney and Obama have.

[Adam Carolla]

They put everybody on there but average income from the guys on the thing are proudly $53 million a year. Like, or they're just geniuses, you know, Dan Aykroyd and people like, people like that. Yeah. All right. It's a weird, it's a weird list. All right. I should also tell you in my, you know how nobody ever disappoints department. Department when I always talk about that.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And whenever I have a follow up question or you did what? Or what, what's up? Or you know, if I know someone who's insanely self consumed, narcissistic and doesn't do anything for anybody, and then you go, you talk to that person, you go, what'd you do this weekend? And they go, I was down building at Habitat for Humanity. And you go, you were down, you were volunteering with Habitat for Community service. And then you go, oh. But it snaps its focus, immediate focus. Now if Brian had said I was down helping at Habitat for Humanity, I wouldn't have asked a follow up question. But there's other people where I would go. And then they say community service. And then it snaps into focus, right?

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So I had this weird moment with Gary back there. Gary had Gary. Gary Butters. Gary Fulltar. Not halftime. The one works over here. It's great being me because Ozzy came over to my house yesterday to bring over cheap flashlights for the kids for Halloween. And it was one of these things where you know when someone is doing something nice and you're fucking pissed?

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, it was Sunday, it was 10:30 in the morning, and I literally just had the conversation with Lynette where I said, look, we need to talk and we don't need to argue, but we need to talk about business and about how things work and about what you need to do and what I need to do for the future of these kids. And all of a sudden it's like gates ringing and it's like, hold on. And then it's Ozzy and it's like, yes, Ozzy. Why is madam Bien? I bring over toys for the kids. And I'm like. And like, Lynette's like, ah. And I'm like. And I go meet him by the door and he hands off stuff and the kids come running down. It's just, you know, Chinese junk that he bought for 50 cents for Halloween. And next thing you know, Ozzy's one of these dudes where he calls you once. If you don't pick up the phone, he comes to your house.

[Gina Grad]

You have like a sitcom style house where people who are weird and wacky are dropping in all the time, no one drops in on us.

[Adam Carolla]

They're not weird and wacky, they're losers.

[Gina Grad]

That's what I meant.

[Adam Carolla]

And so he comes over to drop off a toy and he says, oh, I need to borrow the jackhammer. You got your jackhammer for tomorrow. I need to borrow your chipping hammer. Your jackhammer. And I'm like, yeah, alright, go ahead, just borrow it and borrows it. So then I come in today and we're going to hang some stuff up on the wall back here and we need a roto hammer. We need a drill for concrete. So I say, Gary, go grab my roto hammer. And he says, we don't have the roto hammer. And then he says. I said, what do you mean we don't have the roto hammer? We just had it last week. Ozzie borrowed the roto hammer. No, no, Ozzie borrowed. He wanted to borrow the jackhammer, the chipping hammer. We got the roto hammer. Now Ray borrowed the jackhammer without telling me. And so Ozzy then downgraded to the roto hammer instead, which is the fucking thing I need. So I said, all right. And Gary, Gary Butter said, well now, don't worry, I got my own roto hammer. And I know Gary, Gary's, he's a frugal guy. I don't see him with a lot of Hitachi and Porter Cable. More the Ryobi stuff, Black and Decker. It'd be like he's not a BMW Audi guy, he's a little more of a Hyundai guy or maybe like old, old Chevy guy. And so he comes up and he's carrying a case and it's a gray case and it doesn't say anything on it. And I go, okay, white label tools. So you get some piece of shit generic tool on here. Hopefully it's not gonna fit any of the bits I have. And he opens it up and there's a beautiful Bosch. Is it Makita or Bosch? I think it was a Bosch. A nice roto hammer. A really nice like high end roto hammer. And I did the double take. And then I did this thing that I do every once in a while where for a moment in time it flashes through my head that maybe I'm incorrect about something and maybe I judge, I misjudged or judged too early or too often. And I immediately spit that out. Like Barney spitting out something that had been pickled.

[Giovanni]

Well, you didn't spit as much as you dropped it out of your mouth.

[Adam Carolla]

I said, gary, whose roto hammer is that? He Said mine. I was confused again. I said, where'd you get that roto hammer? Said Home Depot. Said Home Depot, yeah. Bought it from a guy in the parking lot. And I went, thank you. Now I'm able to continue my life. I was able to get on with my life. I was able to get on with my life. I love that.

[Gina Grad]

The explanation for where he bought it, though, is Home Depot.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he was on the property of a Home Depot. And, you know, you probably shouldn't go to a waxing salon and try to sell roto hammers you've stolen.

[Gina Grad]

But maybe if you want a cheap wax, you should just hang out in the parking lot of a waxing salon.

[Adam Carolla]

It's hard to steal the. Well, yeah, yeah. One's more of a service. But I'm just saying. Yeah, if you're looking to score wax and muslin clothes and popsicle sticks.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, that is what they use.

[Adam Carolla]

Tongue depressors. Then hang out there. So anyway, it was nice because Gary Halftar. Gary was there to experience the entire exchange and it all snapped into focus for him as well. And I said, see, Gary, that's all you need to know. You don't need to know anything, but always know. If I ever stop and ask the follow up question, there's something there because my spidey sense starts tingling. Gary, satisfying moment in your life. Absolutely. It was special. Thank you. And that's why it came in a generic case, I guess. Whoever stole the roto hammer did not steal the case and the roto hammer. Just the roto hammer. All right, so there you go. The beat goes on, as they say.

[Gina Grad]

I'm sorry, I have to ask this. What is a roto hammer?

[Giovanni]

Come on, Alice. Adam, answer a question for the listeners who don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. It's a drill for drilling through concrete. They didn't exist too many years ago. And now if you want to drill through concrete, it's very difficult. But if you drill while this drill bit goes sort of beats away on it, you'll make very easy work of brick, concrete and masonry, that kind of stuff. All right, big Mangria tasting party coming up. Brought a bottle over to Bill Simmons house yesterday. It was devoured immediately. And then brought a bottle over to Phil Rosenthal's house. And it was devoured immediately as well, though I drank most of it, let's be honest. Mangria tasting party coming up this Friday. Barney's Beanery in Westwood. Limited number of seats in that place. So you want to get on it, get on it early. I think you can go to. Well, Mike will throw something up and you can go to our Facebook or something like that if you want to sign up. Mike. Yeah, yeah. Go to our Facebook page for more info.

[Gina Grad]

And is there a cost of admission?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I think we're just going to have people come in and have a Mangria and I'll do a little talking and pour some and we'll have a good time. You can RSVP on the event page on our Facebook page. Speaking of something you shouldn't mix with Mangria. I'm driving out to Vegas tomorrow. You know, tell me what you guys think. I've been searching for my mother fucking radar detector and I can't fucking find my mother fucking radar detector. It's driving me nuts. Now the reason I can't find it is because somebody commandeers a Porsche. We're gonna do a show in Sacramento. I put the radar detector in the Porsche and then the next day they take the Porsche back and I clean all the shit out. But it gets moved out of that car and then it gets moved in the next car and it's somewhere in some glove box somewhere and I can't fucking find my radar detector detector. And I got worst world problems. Yes, I have a brand new Jag XFR with about 510 horsepower and a seven speed. And I'm going to Vegas. And I'm driving us to Vegas tomorrow for the day. What's out there? Sema Show Car show, Big car show. And so Vegas is one of those things where if you go 85 all the way, you'll make it in 3 hours and 15 minutes or if you obey the speed limit, you'll make it four and a half hours. And I don't want to leave at the crack of fuck. I'd like to get there in three and a half to four hours rather than four and a half to five hours. And I have a car where it's a 2013. And if you're going 100 miles an hour on a highway that's deserted, it's going to feel like you're fucking standing still. But yet I have to look over my shoulder all the time. And I've been searching for my radar detector because, man, and then I just thought, I don't know, is this really what we want out of our society? Like this thing where it's like I'm fucking going nuts trying to find my radar detector Because I'm gonna do something that's gonna be illegal, but it's completely safe and it's Completely under my control. And it's gonna get me from spot A to spot B to, by the way, engage in something that the government ever. The government's always the big winner in these things. Because whatever I do with the SEMA show, you're gonna get 33% of, tax wise. So you don't have to get in a car and you don't have to gas up, you don't have to drive to Vegas. And whether I'm doing a show in Sacramento or whether we're selling bottles of Mangria, the big winner is the fucking government who does nothing. But I gotta watch out for the man. The whole time I'm driving out there to try to fucking add a little to the coffers. And I just thought, why can't we? Why do we have to fucking drive scared in this country? Like I. Everyone does that. Everyone's gone to Vegas. Especially everyone who has a new car now knows you have your new BMW.

[Giovanni]

People should know around the country and the world, the drive from LA to Vegas is very long, very straight, and a lot of straightaways where you just kind of forget there's even a speed limit.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And when you're driving a new BMW 3 series, well, I got the.

[Giovanni]

Oh, I'm sorry, the jet Passat.

[Adam Carolla]

When you're driving. Sorry, the new Passat, you're driving a new anything. 85 miles an hour is fucking nothing. It's just nothing. The speed limit hasn't been raised since it was lowered. But. And you know, just fucking, it's. It's like, riddle me this, it's like saying, well, commercial air travel in 1951 was 233 knots. All right, well, now we have technology, so it should be 530 knots. No, we're not going to raise. Well, we have the technology. Why can't we fucking raise it? Why do we have to fucking hide behind safety all the time? And yeah, why doesn't everyone in the car wear a helmet then? I mean, there's a point where the safety gets cut off. We agree. Wear a helmet when you race a car. Wear a helmet when you ride a motorcycle. But when you're driving a car, you don't need to wear a helmet. Why not? It would be safer, would it not?

[Gina Grad]

It'd be safer if we all wore bullet vests all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? This car is safe at 85 miles an hour. It's safe at 125 miles an hour. And I want to get to fucking Vegas and I'm not my goddamn radar detector. So I'm gonna be driving, looking in the rear. It's actually more dangerous because when I drive, I look in my rear view mirror. When I'm on those long straightaways to Vegas, I'm staring in the fucking rear view mirror the whole time. But. But generally just annoyed. Like, couldn't I just fucking crank up the free D. Johnston and just have a nice fucking ride to Vegas at 85 miles an hour without my head being on a fucking swivel?

[Gina Grad]

All right, so are you gonna buy another one? That's what I want to know.

[Adam Carolla]

I know I have mine. And the good ones are like 350 bucks. And yes.

[Giovanni]

When's the last time you made a drive like that in a less than. You know what I'm saying? Either vintage or less than super safe car? Because every car made in the last two or three years just feels incredibly safe at whatever speed.

[Adam Carolla]

And if you're driving to Vegas, I'm driving with Jeff Fox, who. Who has a piece of shit, I think. And then Chris Maxapata, who.

[Gina Grad]

Does he even have a car?

[Adam Carolla]

He has like an ostrich that pulls a rickshaw or something. I don't know what he has. I just. I don't want to know anything. It scares me. So.

[Giovanni]

State of the art, though.

[Adam Carolla]

State of the art. Ostrich.

[Giovanni]

That's exactly right.

[Gina Grad]

You know, because he seems friendly, but you have to assume he's up to something.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, for sure. I mean, yes, shifty. You have shifty. Absolutely. So whenever you're going to Vegas or wherever you're going, if you're going with three or four people, you take whoever's got the best call. So you already know you have a good vehicle. And yes, it was built in the last three years. It's capable of 100 miles an hour on that straight line all fucking day long, air conditioning, blasting and. No, I mean, this thing has suspension that lowers the car.

[Giovanni]

The way they're driving, it's.

[Adam Carolla]

It's fucking nuts. So I'm just saying, I don't know. When can we again, my. My mother drove a VW square back a piece of shit with fucking retreads on it and drum brakes and leaf springs and it was 55 miles an hour or 65 miles an hour back then. That car was unsafe at any speed. Why has it not been raised? Or why can we not just be trusted? Like when people go, uh, well, what, you want your old. You want your own speed limit? You want your own speed limit? I go, no, I'll leave it up to the officer he can look at the car, he can look at the tires. I can. When I pull my license out, I'll pull my vintage racing license out and I'll hand it both to him and he can look at me and he can go, fine. But if he sees me in a gardener's truck with a shark cage on the back of it filled with leaf blowers and a space saving spare doing five miles an hour under the speed limit, he can give him a ticket. Dangerous at that speed. Just leave it up to the fucking cops.

[Giovanni]

What are you doing? You're like a lot of nice lawns out there in Vegas.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Alright. Just trying to make my nuts.

[Giovanni]

Money be made. It's a gold rush.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, what can I say? Warner center in D.C. thursday, Nov. 8 and then town hall, New York City. Beautiful town Hall. Saturday, November 10th. Come out, say hi. We're going to be at the Ice House in Pasadena and the Brea Improv and Cobbs all coming up in November doing the live podcast. And oh, Dave Attell is coming out to Pasadena. That'll be fun. All in the middle of November. So check that out. Hopefully our website is up getting close up and running. So we got that to look forward to now Freedies here. We got blah blah blah. What do you want to do? All right, let me give a Little love to stamps.com. mm mm. Yeah, see they've, they've moved on. Unlike the speed stamps dot com. They've moved on with their technology. You can buy and print official US postage, use your own computer and printer, wherever, whenever. 24, 7. By the way, they give you discounts, baby. You can save up to 80% compared to leasing one of those postage meters. I don't trust those things, man. You don't lease one of those things. You go to stamps.com. assistant Matt uses them. We send out all our crap here from the office, including the book jackets and everything else, by the way. Oh, sorry. 2510.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

I knew there was difficulties in the bathroom world when I walked in today with the fart fan on, door ajar, nobody in.

[Gina Grad]

That's a warning.

[Adam Carolla]

That meant the Punisher had just done a little slashing and burning of that.

[Giovanni]

Town and turn at your own risk.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Right. Special offer, no risk trial. That's right. You get a digital scale and 55 bucks free postage. I just feel like that's too much. That's too generous, man. Alright, you get the digital scale, goes right into your computer and then it prints you out from your printer. And tells you exactly the exact postage you need and 55 bucks free postage. But you have to enter Adam, go to stamps.com. now click on the microphone at the top of the homepage. Type in Adam, that is stamps.com promo code Adam. All right. Should we do some blah blah blah?

[Gina Grad]

Yes, let's do it.

[Teresa Strasser]

It's time for blah blah blah, the game where we match the celebrity with their retarded online rant. Let's play. Dear Americans, Republicans and Democrats alike, I am going to vote for re electing President Obama. I have noticed something in Mitt Romney's name which I think speaks to what he is about. If you just rearrange a few letters, Romney becomes our money. I believe Mitt Romney wants to get his mitts on our money. He would like to get it and divide it up with his friends, the big money bunch. Please do not let Mitt Romney get his mitts on our money or our United States of America. Is it David Lynch, Amy Adams or Paul Simon?

[Adam Carolla]

It's tough. There's nothing more pathetic than someone thinking something is clever that they came up with. But it doesn't really ring true with anybody. You'd hope. Lynch, I think Paul Simon, I'm wondering, I think he's sort of a blowhard. I don't know what lynch is. I'm not sure about Amy Adams either. I don't know. What do you guys think?

[Gina Grad]

I feel like the person who wrote this is kind of paranoid and looking for meaning in letters. Or do you think it's more just self centered?

[Adam Carolla]

I think they just think they're clever. I think, I think they got stoned and came up with something that they thought was something but it wasn't anything. You know, it's no Bahaiman or Mangria. No.

[Gina Grad]

Those are so clever.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

And I don't know if David lynch blogs, so I'm gonna take. Oh gosh. I'm gonna say Paul Simon.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Uncomfortably, you have any thoughts?

[Giovanni]

I think Paul Simon's too good of a writer. I'm gonna say David lynch because David Lynch.

[Adam Carolla]

Why the fuck is Amy Adams on there? They do this to me every time. But why is David Lynch. Why are any of them on there?

[Gina Grad]

I know this is as grab bag as a chance. It could be none of that. I bet one of them wrote it.

[Giovanni]

They all collaborated.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna say Amy Adams. Yeah, Amy Adams. All right.

[Teresa Strasser]

The blog belongs to David Lynch.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait a minute now. Who's that? Brian?

[Giovanni]

That's me.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me, let me, let me mark this Down. All right, here we go. All right, so Brian's up one. So lynch thinks Romney wants to get our money so he can give it to his buddies.

[Giovanni]

Where did the U come from in Romney?

[Adam Carolla]

The money bunch.

[Teresa Strasser]

Big money bunch.

[Adam Carolla]

Am I in that money bunch? Yes, I am.

[Teresa Strasser]

You're in the big money.

[Adam Carolla]

Is anyone who makes over 250k a year in the money bunch or is that a different bunch?

[Teresa Strasser]

This is a bigger money bunch.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. All right. So Brian. All right, that's what he wants to do. All right, all right. And all right, here we.

[Teresa Strasser]

There are dozens, if not hundreds of legitimate reasons why you should not vote for Obama. You were lied to, seduced by yet another smooth talking politician who promised you hope and change. Although let's be honest, short of re electing, short of electing a born again monkey with down syndrome, anyone who replaced Bush would be considered a change. And yes, after three years of Obama, we still live in a country with an ever peeling veneer of democracy that is run by and for the moneyed power brokers and their vested interests. Is it Roger Ebert, David Cross, or Joe Rogan?

[Adam Carolla]

Ooh, wow, man, they got the monkey thing.

[Gina Grad]

I know. That makes me think Rogan.

[Adam Carolla]

Why?

[Gina Grad]

Because I think he has a monkey thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you do?

[Gina Grad]

I think I could be, but I have been wrong quite a bit.

[Adam Carolla]

I do think I'm going Rogan once. All right, so there's this sort of racial implication monkey thing that I think Cross would stay away from. You just don't go anywhere near Obama or black anything. I mean, ask Howard Cosell about mentioning monkey and anything to do with black people. Although like I said, there's a lot of stereotypes out there and you could do a lot worse. You know, a lot of. I don't know where monkey, but monkey's pretty close to the top of my cool animal list.

[Gina Grad]

What would be the worst animal to be compared to?

[Adam Carolla]

I think a three toed tree sloth.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Not attractive. I think like eats grubs and don't move too good. You know what I mean?

[Giovanni]

Monkeys are awesome at prehensile tails that can grab things.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I think they have the respect of the animal world and all right, so. But Ebert is. He's just one of these. I cheated death and I can say whatever I want through my computer, by the way. But there's nothing he can say that can't be a typo. Right. He could deny anything.

[Giovanni]

Meaning what?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he's talking through a computer. Yeah. There's extra layers. I don't know if he's typing or he's blowing into something, but probably should have worked that one out. All right, so I go. I'm gonna go Ebert on this.

[Giovanni]

Rogan. Hundred percent.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you're right. God damn it, Here we go. They have Rogan. They're both Rogan.

[Teresa Strasser]

Okay, I'm sorry. The blog belongs to David Cross.

[Stephen Domang]

What the fuck?

[Gina Grad]

Motherfucker.

[Adam Carolla]

Just when you fucking think you know.

[Giovanni]

Something can't be ebay. He would never make a joke about down syndrome. He's so holier than thou.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, is he?

[Giovanni]

Oh, absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Wow. That was David Cross. Was he saying not to vote for Obama? Weird, right? Was that him? Yeah. What the hell's he doing? He's gonna get drummed out of the cool guy club.

[Gina Grad]

He sounded like he was saying, don't vote for either of them, though. Oh, I don't know. I had trouble understanding which way that one was going.

[Teresa Strasser]

I got lost on monkey with Townsville.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right, Paul. Bryan's up one. Here we go.

[Teresa Strasser]

Can America be great again? Can it make the sacrifices necessary to right the ship after the Kafka esque nightmare of Bush Cheney? Four years isn't long enough to undo that amount of damage. I don't know if Obama can do it in eight. But I will tell you one thing. America will never be great again under a Romney administration. It will be great for rich people. While everyone else will be asked to dial down their expectations of what it means to be American again. Most will just shrug and comply. Is it Robert Redford, Mark Cuban or Alec Baldwin?

[Giovanni]

Three super rich people.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no, no, listen, most. This is. I mean, look, you understand what's going on. If being rich is being. Being rich is one of these things where it's become a sort of. I don't know if it's a strike or it's a scarlet letter, but it's not a point of pride. It's not what it used to be. That's why people. First off, people learn real quick. Whoever talks about how much money they make or you have no idea. I mean, everyone just drives a Prius and everyone wears cargo shorts, right? There's no more. You can't talk. I mean, if you're a rap star, you can talk about it. But if you're a white dude, you can't talk about having money. You're in fucking bad shape. You talk about money. So since it's a kind of a new newly formed, it is one. I actually. I think being rich, you could follow the ark. I think it's the same as Is smoking. Smoking used to be cool. Now you're kind of a pariah.

[Ralph Sutton]

But.

[Adam Carolla]

But people still go and sneak smokes, you know, they're still take rich breaks. Yeah, they go out, me and my rich friends go out and have a rich break. And sometimes they'll move us a little further down the sidewalk.

[Gina Grad]

You can't be rich at home, you can't be rich at the office.

[Adam Carolla]

It is the same, which is like, you know, used to be back in the, you know, in the 50s. Be like you're a 21 year old girl, you know, starlet, and you're taking pictures here. Put the cigarette in your mouth and be like, I don't smoke. I know, but put the cigarette in your mouth anyway. Makes you look cool. And it was also like, hey, you're rich, it looks cool. And then you'd go, well, I can't afford a Cadillac. Yes, but buy the Cadillac anyway because everyone will think you're rich and then it'll seem like you're cool, you know, and now I don't even feel like.

[Gina Grad]

Brian and I are secondhand rich.

[Adam Carolla]

It's kind of, it's kind of the other direction now. So now rich guys have to run a campaign against themselves. Essentially. It's basically saying, yes, you have $50 million in the bank because you're an actor or producer, whatever, but you just point at Wall street, but your money's all in Wall street. But you talk about the fat cats and blah, blah, and you talk about other rich guys.

[Gina Grad]

Wait, are you suggesting that whoever wrote this blog because he's rich doesn't believe what he said? He's doing it to appear down to earth.

[Adam Carolla]

The whole plan is to have everyone think, think you're struggling along with them in this America and that you're fighting the good fight and you're pitching in and you're with them. So every rich person who blogs, or most rich people who blog, talk about raising taxes on the rich and getting rid of loopholes and then they hire a guy to find loopholes, have offshore accounts, start Nevada corporations become incorporated and do every single thing they can possibly do within the law and sometimes above the law to save them every nickel they possibly can on whatever huge paycheck they get from whatever project they do. So obviously they're hypocrites because if they truly just wanted to pay more money, then just pay more money, don't deduct anything, don't have any dependents, don't incorporate, just pay away. But they don't do it. Or I'm sure, maybe some of them do, but I can't think of any of them. I mean, it's all the same game. You get incorporated. You have a tax guy. Your tax guy writes off your car as a company car. He writes the mileage off for your car. He writes the fuel off. It's just, you do whatever you do to save as much of the money that you've earned as possible, which is fine. You go out, out to the orchard, you pick a whole bushel of peaches and you bring them home.

[Gina Grad]

I know, I do that.

[Adam Carolla]

You do that and you go, okay, this is for me and for my family and for us. And then the government goes, I want.

[Gina Grad]

A third of your harvest.

[Adam Carolla]

You got 100 peaches, give me 30 of them. And you go, oh. And then you hire a peach, a guy who knows a lot about peaches.

[Gina Grad]

Were you going to say a peach jewel?

[Giovanni]

Let's call him Peachy Peachenstein.

[Adam Carolla]

Worst iced tea flavor Snapple ever came up with. Tastes like peach and burnt flesh.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, Jesus.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, the point is, you get to peach person and he says, I can.

[Gina Grad]

You couldn't have gone peach and gefilte.

[Adam Carolla]

Fish, Cherry, peach, burns. This tastes like gelatinized code and peach. You're right. I'm sorry. I should have borscht and peach. They said cold beets and peach. You're right, I should have done that. I just have fucking Tourette's. But the point is, take two. So that guy then comes over and you pay him like two peaches. And he says, well, we're using that. And he says, let's see if we can get away with just giving the government 16 peaches instead of 30. And there's all bunch of stuff. What about that new peach cart you bought? And what about the new donkey? You got to feed the donkey, didn't you? And what about so on and so forth, Right, Okay. That's how it works. Now none of these guys go, hey, peach. Hey, peach guy, clear out. I don't need you.

[Gina Grad]

I want to give 50 peaches.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll just give them 30 peaches. They don't even give them 30. Whatever they're asking for, just let them take that. No, they don't. Why don't they? Well, they went out and picked the fucking peaches. They want to keep them. That's how we're wired.

[Giovanni]

I think he just predicted a post apocalyptic peach based economy.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh.

[Giovanni]

All he has left, the money system is gone. It's collapsed.

[Gina Grad]

I'm turning my money into peaches.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd like it to be nectarine based, if that's okay. Because they're less mealy, the conversion is quite difficult. Oh, I see. Well, I'll have to get on the nectarine and then. Except for England refuses.

[Gina Grad]

Imagine when you liquidate.

[Adam Carolla]

Mmm, delicious. All right, so. Huh? What happened?

[Gina Grad]

I'm going Baldwin.

[Adam Carolla]

Baldwin is talking about what rich people.

[Giovanni]

I think Redford plays the rich thing closest to the vest. Like his. Like, Sunday is like a little independent film festival. Meanwhile, it's completely sold out and makes millions and millions of dollars. So I'm gonna say Redford.

[Adam Carolla]

Redford. I don't think it's Cuban. It's either Baldwin or Redford. I'm going Redford too, on this.

[Teresa Strasser]

The blog belongs to Alec Baldwin.

[Gina Grad]

Did it based on who I thought would use Kafkaesque.

[Ralph Sutton]

Oh.

[Giovanni]

Used it kind of wrong, by the way. Not exactly right it.

[Gina Grad]

Listen, Brian, that's all I got.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so Allison on the board, right?

[Gina Grad]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, here we go into the championship rounds.

[Teresa Strasser]

Romney is money's bitch. He's ambition's bitch, he's success's bitch, and he's victory's bitch. And like those particular sort of pampered dogs you see in the laps of the very rich, he yaps and snaps and snarls at the everyday mutt. He's frightened and confused by a dog who's happy to treasure the sunshine and play with other dogs and eat enough food to fill its belly and lap enough water to slake its thirst and then get out of the way for the other dogs who have to have their turn.

[Gina Grad]

Is this a poem?

[Teresa Strasser]

Romney's been trained since birth that not only are there no other dogs but him. Him. But that dogs who don't aspire to immobility on a fat lap are to be snarled at, chased away, and bred out of existence.

[Adam Carolla]

That's how the Mormon church works, man. Take a little time to be quiet.

[Teresa Strasser]

Is it Ben Stiller, Paul F. Tompkins, or Patton Oswalt?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I wish it was none of them.

[Gina Grad]

Me too.

[Adam Carolla]

I really do. Look, you can say what you want about either guy running for president, but this thing of, like, he hates the middle class. He wishes they would all go to work on one of those fucking slave planets you see in the future where they have to mine all. They said it like, I'm gonna go with Paul F. Tompkins because I just. Well, it's tough because this feels not smart enough. It was not funny enough for Patton, is it? It's not funny. It feels too weird for Ben. I Don't really. I'm going. Paul F. I don't know what.

[Gina Grad]

I'm going. Patton.

[Giovanni]

I got no read on. I'll say Ben Stiller. Just to be different.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Teresa Strasser]

The blog belongs to Patton Oswalt.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, fuck. So wait a minute. Is that you, Alice?

[Gina Grad]

That's me.

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus Christ.

[Gina Grad]

I knew I was underperforming. Previously.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm. Oh, for Ben. I got fucking nothing. Does one of these have to do with the Roto fucking Hammer? We just gotta go through this whole thing. Talking about politics.

[Teresa Strasser]

The very next one.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, good. All right. What do we got? One more.

[Teresa Strasser]

I was wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian. You can. You can tie this up here or you can not tie this up here.

[Giovanni]

Those are my two choices.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, those are your two choices.

[Gina Grad]

Wait to see how this plays out.

[Adam Carolla]

Here we go.

[Teresa Strasser]

I'm traveling through Mongolia and currently staying in a yurt.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, you know what I missed from my childhood? All right, let's just say next winner wins it all. Next one wins it all. Let's just do that one. I'd do that one.

[Gina Grad]

That's when the person in charge gets tired.

[Adam Carolla]

That's when you're down 18 to 3 and you're one on one basketball game. Your next bucket takes it. Here we go.

[Giovanni]

But I've built an insurmountable.

[Adam Carolla]

It's getting dark.

[Giovanni]

How's that?

[Adam Carolla]

Mama's calling for dinner.

[Gina Grad]

That seems fair. Let's do that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Go ahead. Here we go.

[Teresa Strasser]

I'm traveling through Mongolia and currently staying in a year. This was not by choice.

[Adam Carolla]

What kind of animal is that?

[Teresa Strasser]

This was not by choice. I'm with persuasive friends. I think traveling and seeing how other people live resensitizes me.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. I don't mind seeing how other people live, but I don't like smelling how other people live. And that's the part with travel. Seeing. No problemo. Smelling. Now we got an issue. I bet that yurt smells like sack.

[Gina Grad]

It might be made out of a.

[Giovanni]

Sack or a lapse sack.

[Adam Carolla]

Smells like rotting yurt sack to me. All right. So that's why I watch tv. Because I can see how other people live without smelling how they live. Go ahead.

[Teresa Strasser]

I think traveling and seeing how other people live resensitizes me to the difficulties and existential inconveniences that most other people face.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't you guys hate everyone after we do these things?

[Giovanni]

Rotting yerk sack sounds like a blue singer.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Teresa Strasser]

In this way, I think Barack Obama is a good leader for our diverse country because he's seen how the world lives. It doesn't take a lot to realize that seeing the world forces you to interact with it in a different way. And I know that I feel more comfortable being represented by someone who's seen it. Is it Jesse Eisenberg, Eddie Vedder, or Russell Simmons?

[Adam Carolla]

First off, I hope Obama gets his coordinates fucked up and calls in a Predator drone attack on his yurt. That's what I just. Hellfire missile. Right. Right up the yurt. Right up the old poop yurt. I want to say Russell Simmons earlier, because he's one of these blowhards who has a. Literally, like, in a house. When it comes to a house. Big houses are nice, but once you cross over 7,000 square feet, it becomes more trouble than it's worth. It's like diminishing returns. There's rooms you never go into. There's maintenance. That's insane. It's like once you cross over a certain threshold, 5,000.

[Gina Grad]

I find just having two bathrooms does that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Way too much work. Russell Simmons is one of these guys who lives in. You think you don't hear it right when you hear 35,000 square foot house or something like that. You don't realize, I live in a big house. It's 5,500 square feet. You realize, oh, no, it's 10 times that size. How is that physically possible? And then he goes down and hangs out with the Occupy guys, and then he goes back up and shits in his fucking golden toilet again. So I don't. Oh, fuck. I don't know. What do you guys. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go Vatter. I'm going Vatter on this one.

[Giovanni]

You first, Allison.

[Gina Grad]

I. Whoever wrote it is trying to sound unassuming, I think. Like, I don't know. This is just what I think, and I don't think Russell Simmons would sound that way. I doubt this is the first time Eddie Vedder has been in a yurt. So I'm going with Jesse Eisenberg.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Giovanni]

I'll go with Eddie Vedder.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Teresa Strasser]

The blog belongs to Jesse Eisenberg.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

This feels much more how it should be.

[Giovanni]

Dominating.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Allison, look at you, man. You got off.02, and then you just fucking ran the table.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Yeah. You know what it's like? It's like Silence of the Lambs kind of thing where you have to talk to a sociopath in order to get into the head of a sociopath.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Thanks.

[Gina Grad]

Who's the sociopath?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm trying to fucking I went 0 for 6. I'm trying to.

[Teresa Strasser]

And your heads up your ass.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm trying to reclaim something. I would argue, by the way, everyone's always wrong when they start with. I would argue that it's every bit as difficult to go 0 for 5. You're right. Hear me out.

[Gina Grad]

It's quite a streak.

[Adam Carolla]

Hear me out. Out. You see if you can go for five. So try it. No, you're right.

[Gina Grad]

It's like one of those carnival games where you roll the balls into little slots and you have to either go like over 31 or under 6 or something. It's just as hard to be really bad.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like saying, I'm going to give you 11 chances to guess my zodiac sign and you don't get it. That's a certain kind of skill.

[Gina Grad]

It's a certain kind of precision.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay. And I would argue. Thank you.

[Gina Grad]

We're sharing this victory.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I think you had it for long enough and I'd like to use it for the weekend. I'm giving you Johnston. I love me some. Freddy Johnston is coming in next. We'll do some news and all that right after this.

[Teresa Strasser]

Get your official Adam Carolla merchandise [e-mail] He's.

[Adam Carolla]

He's about as good as it gets. Adam Carolla. About as about as good as it gets. Pace man, has Ray ever met his match? I know he's like indestructible badass, but has he ever run into more than he could chew? I'm just interested. Give me. Tell the story on the air if it actually has happened because I know he's like, again, indestructible. All right, see you guys.

[Teresa Strasser]

Click the evoice banner on AdamCarolla.com or go to www.evoice.com Adam to get an exclusive 6 month free trial offer. Evoice, your mobile phone at work.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah, to answer that question quickly. No. Although one time we were in the parking lot of a roller skating place when we were like 19 or 18, and he did one of his usual with a stranger thing. And the guy turned around and he was like John Matuszak size. Like it was one of those, you know, in a movie where the guy gets out of the car and keeps going, you know, and he's 6, 8, and he's, you know, 315 pounds. And Ray had to kind of leave the guy alone. But he did fuck with the guy first. Yes. That was about the only time Friedie Johnston is here. Good to see you, Freddy.

[Teresa Strasser]

It's great to be here.

[Adam Carolla]

Hi, Adam. I love me some Fredie Johnson. You got a good vibe. I love that about you.

[Teresa Strasser]

Right back at you.

[Adam Carolla]

We had a nice pow wow outside because I gave the. Well, Friedy, we're on our third musician in a row on the show, which is unlikely, but do you want to play? Do you need to play? And he said, I'm a musician. I always like to play. And I said, yeah, but listen, I'm a comedian and I hate telling jokes, so it doesn't always work out that way. And we went around a little bit, and then I threw out a deep cut from this Perfect World, a song.

[Teresa Strasser]

Called the album Comes Cut.

[Adam Carolla]

Evie's Tears. Yeah.

[Teresa Strasser]

You want me to play that?

[Adam Carolla]

I love that. I really. I love the whole album, as I've said. I don't. I don't know who that is about or where that brings you.

[Teresa Strasser]

Well, it's really not about anyone. It's just a song, you know, really just made it up.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to say that.

[Teresa Strasser]

I know it's terrible, but are you. I should. I should make something up, shouldn't. I should make up a better story.

[Adam Carolla]

What if the knack did that with my Sharona? How devastated would you be?

[Teresa Strasser]

So Edie broke my fucking heart.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Teresa Strasser]

That's what I love, being able to say that on radio.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And now it's payback time. Right.

[Teresa Strasser]

Payback time. Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Wrote a song about her tears.

[Teresa Strasser]

Yeah, exactly. Adam, you're taking me the right direction.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, how do you write a song about Evie's tears if there's no Evie?

[Teresa Strasser]

Well, I don't know. I mean, you know, how do you. You know, you just. You just got to make stuff up in life. You know how it is. Yeah, but you gotta stay on the beach ball.

[Adam Carolla]

But I would come up with Cheryl's tears or Becky's tears.

[Teresa Strasser]

But Evie, I'll tell you how it happens when you're writing a song.

[Adam Carolla]

You're.

[Teresa Strasser]

You're going along, you're going, la da de da da da, and whatever sounds right. Eevee's just happened to, you know, phonetically sound right. That's all it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's.

[Teresa Strasser]

Again, everyone asks me who he is.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone does.

[Teresa Strasser]

They name their cats Evie and all that. It happens.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no, I know, I know. Listen, I. Like I said, this Perfect World is really just a perfect album. And like I said, I was turned on to when I was house sitting, just listening. It was also that time when people weren't snobs either. Like, I would be. Like, you'd be at someone's house, and there'd be a CD there, and you'd go, huh, I'm gonna check it out now. I'm like, you know, I have to go find you, but I'm not gonna. If I was hanging out at your house, I wouldn't be just checking out your CDs, you know what I'm saying? It's different now than it was somehow.

[Teresa Strasser]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know why either. But somehow I had an open heart. Oh, I know. I had an open heart and an empty wallet and I would listen to other people's shit. So we were just standing back there and I said, well, if we're going to go for something, let's go for something cool that my listeners probably have never possibly heard. I don't know. And it's such a beautiful song. And as it turns out, it's a very poignant song about no one. But it's called Evie Tears.

[Teresa Strasser]

Yeah, it's the best I could do.

[Adam Carolla]

And do you do it when you play, or am I catching you pretty far?

[Teresa Strasser]

I play it every night.

[Adam Carolla]

You play it every night when you go out?

[Teresa Strasser]

Yeah, sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right. Okay, good. And people should know, by the way, live dates for Freedy Johnston, you can go to the website friedyjohnston.com and November 2nd is going to be the High Noon Saloon in Mad Madison, Wisconsin. And on the 9th, Dakota Jazz Club. And November 10th, tycoons in Duluth, Minnesota. Dakota Jazz Club also in Minneapolis. Minneapolis happen in town, Right. For music. Great job.

[Teresa Strasser]

Certainly. And the Dakota, you know, best place in town.

[Adam Carolla]

Much, much hipper, much cooler, much more, whatever, er, than you would think. Minneapolis.

[Teresa Strasser]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I was surprised.

[Teresa Strasser]

Absolutely. Come on. You know the Replacements and Prince and Soul Asylum.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. It goes on and on. There's no more.

[Teresa Strasser]

Well, no, there are. There are many. But, you know, those three, that's quite a bit.

[Adam Carolla]

And then that. The time the guys who battled Prince.

[Teresa Strasser]

Yeah. Horse Day. At the time. Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

They were there. I was just. I was very surprised by. Because when you travel around, you get a little like. You become. You become a snob. You go, all right, there's la, and then there's New York. And then you go, all right, I'll give you San Francisco and Chicago.

[Gina Grad]

And then people make you say Austin.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And they make you say Austin. Yeah, I hear Austin's really cool. All right, that's it. And then they try to shoehorn in Seattle. And you go, listen, if I start including Seattle, then I gotta put Portland in All right. Seattle and Portland, but that's it. And then they go. Minnesota's got a thing going on over there in Minneapolis. And you go, please. And then you go out there and. And it's really happening. All right. So I only do it by I don't know where. I asked Mike where we played over there, but sold out two shows over there at a really cool music theater. Freddie. So you want to do some tears?

[Teresa Strasser]

Yeah, I will. I'll play a song for you. Oh, boy.

[Adam Carolla]

So your inspiration for this song was. I gotta make me some mic money.

[Teresa Strasser]

Well, no, it just came out of thin air and it needed some words. That's. That's how it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Teresa Strasser]

Appeared. I sometimes write songs about real things.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure you do.

[Teresa Strasser]

In the middle of her kind confession he comes over and pulls her near. I wake up, she's been crying. I guess he was here again. Evie's tears are never gonna try. Evie's guilty tears burn this bad. She comes to only when it's light. We met in a lonely summer Two survivors of paradise. She ran out when I first touched her but now she wakes me every night. Ebe's tears are never gonna drop. Evie Secret tears burn this bed she comes to only when it's light. Faithless girl, you've been dreaming staring up, your face is white with fear. All right, now I'm listening. You're not in my mine and he's not here. You're not mine and he's not here. In the middle of Evie's garden in a simple life iron chair, wind's blowing and she's been singing begs the moon to disappear Evie's tears are never gonna dry. Evie's guilty tears burn this bed she comes to only when it's loud. She comes to only when it's light. Catholic girl, you've been dreaming staring up, your face is white with fear. All right, right now I'm listening. You're not mine and he's not here.

[Adam Carolla]

Reedy Johnston. Evie's tears just pulled a nice album cut. Thank you so much, Freddy. I really thank you for indulging me. Beautiful song about no and nothing, but still.

[Gina Grad]

But did you have experiences that had sort of inspired it?

[Adam Carolla]

Say no, please. It's gonna be.

[Teresa Strasser]

I should say no.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Teresa Strasser]

The song was written about somebody else and I changed the name. I'm sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Teresa Strasser]

You just. You just wore me down, Prosecutor.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Teresa Strasser]

You just wore me down. Yeah, I'm not gonna freaking say who.

[Adam Carolla]

It's very specific.

[Teresa Strasser]

I just wore me down. I'd rather I'd rather cop a plea.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. I know it's Dave Coulier, but that you. I'm just gonna say it. I know when I know the eyebrows keep writing songs about Dave Coulier. They're all about Dave Coulier.

[Gina Grad]

Sometimes in a theater. Sometimes.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Teresa Strasser]

All these. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyway, Fredy Johnson in Student again, if you want to see him live. And I recommend it highly. Friedyjohnston.com all right, Freedy.

[Teresa Strasser]

I just played McCabe's last night.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, love McCabes.

[Teresa Strasser]

I love that place. With my. My buddy Susan California Russell and John D. Graham.

[Adam Carolla]

You may have heard that saw John Hyatt do an acoustic show at McCabe's many, many years ago. And it's a great guitar shop that has a performing space in it in Santa Monica or on Santa Monica or somewhere around there or Pico, near Santa Monica. Right in there. And it's just a great cool old place. And it's one of those places where you're glad it's. It's there and it's been there for a long time. And like I said, John Hyatt's acoustic set there was 86 or something. So it's been around for a million years. All right, shall we do a little news? And Freedy, you jump in. You know, as a matter of fact. Hold on a second. Freddy, can you pick up your guitar again?

[Teresa Strasser]

Certainly. You need some music behind.

[Adam Carolla]

I do. I gotta do a live read and I just need something. Yeah, something that. Something that's positive. An upbeat.

[Teresa Strasser]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Something that says success.

[Giovanni]

It's about nothing, preferably.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, now this one's about scorebig calm. Yeah. I don't care how big that game is, baby. There's always gonna be some seats available. You gotta get them from scorebig.com. you don't want to pay box office prices? Hell, no. You want to go to scorebig.com. they're the first place you go when you're looking for tickets.

[Teresa Strasser]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Otherwise, save the lyrics for me, Freddy. No, I'm just busting your chops. Now, if you want to do a little score big. No, no, Frady, I'm busting your chops. You want to. Can you sing a little store score.

[Teresa Strasser]

Big score big dot com.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Let me give an example. USC Trojans versus Arizona State State box office price 77 bucks. StubHub price over 100 bucks. Score big. 35 bucks. 5.

[Teresa Strasser]

That's incredible.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Go to score big.com, enter the code Adam at checkout and get an extra 10 bucks off your first. First order. Score big.com.

[Teresa Strasser]

Score big.com.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Teresa Strasser]

There's a future there. The news with Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

She read some news from her iPad.

[Stephen Domang]

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Allison.

[Ralph Sutton]

Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

And when it's time to wrap it.

[Big J Okerson]

Up, she'll sign it off with some.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Allison.

[Ralph Sutton]

Allison.

[Gina Grad]

So everyone still talking about and currently being affected by Hurricane Sandy expected to make landfall within about three hours of what I checked, maybe an hour ago. So by the time everyone hears this, I think it will have made landfall. The water in New York has risen to about or above Hurricane Irene levels. Delaware and New Jersey and many others declared a state of emergency. By the time. Again, people hear this even more. States will be declared a state of emergency. There's a crane sort of precariously dangling from a skyscraper in New York on 57th Street. And one of my favorite things that I saw when I was watching the news earlier was, so they keep doing all these live shots of a reporter in the field who's, like, practically blowing away. You see all this water. You can barely hear anything. And they're trying to talk, but you're not hearing them. But then, so there's like a reporter on probably near the west side highway in New York. You can't really hear anything she's saying. She's bullying about. And I swear to God, there's someone jogging in the background.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody tweeted me that and said to me, worse individual, because I hate the Thanksgiving jogger. That thing when it's like, we're out of rum, somebody's gotta go on a run and pick up a 12 pack of Shea food for light as well. And you're out on the fucking run, and you see a guy literally jogging, like, just jogging while you're bloated and drunk and have no business on the road or operating a vehicle.

[Gina Grad]

But thinking about, when should I have seconds?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, you're planning your seconds. You've already. You've already switched out of whatever slacks you're wearing into some kind of sweat something, and you're on some run, and there's that fucking couple jogging. And so somebody tweeted me that and said, now what's worse, the Thanksgiving jogger or the hurricane jogger? And I said, you gotta run over both of them. You gotta play it safe, you know what I mean?

[Gina Grad]

Because the hurricane jogger might be thinking, this is my last chance to get a jog in and fuck that person.

[Teresa Strasser]

Extreme jogging.

[Adam Carolla]

I sort of. I'm Annoyed, more at the. It goes in this order, I think. Think Thanksgiving exerciser. Do not like him at all. New Year's morning early exercise. You know, the fucking, you know, 7:00am fucking person. When you're driving home from the party, like hungover and confused, like that person exercising. What would be the middle of the Super Bowl? Person out doing their shit. I don't like what. I don't care if it's pushing a shopping cart, walking a dog, jogging. I don't give a fuck. Mowing their lawn like soup right in.

[Big J Okerson]

The middle of the first.

[Gina Grad]

You want a Super bowl curfew?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Good. Super bowl going down and we're in the middle of the third quarter and you're out on your fucking lawn like it's any other Sunday. It drives me insane. That person drives me. There's a Christmas. Anyone exercising during. But especially during the eating holiday. I don't like people exercise in front of other people. But the eating holidays I don't like at all. The hurricane is kind of down on my list because it's not really an eating holiday holiday. It's a hoarding holiday.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. But it's a day where most people who have any sense would be at home. And this fucker has to be out there, right. Battling the elements.

[Teresa Strasser]

He definitely makes.

[Adam Carolla]

Definitely a douche. And they deserve to be swept away in a tidal storm. But not as obnoxious. Because here's the thing. I am not exercising during this hurricane. But I'm not gorging myself. So it's only half. Half the shame.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

You see what I'm saying?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. The contrast isn't as stark.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. That's what I'm saying.

[Gina Grad]

School's still canceled. School's canceled. Monday will be canceled. Tuesday, Broadway shows canceled. Jimmy Kimmel canceled his first. What would have been the first show from his hometown.

[Adam Carolla]

It's so fucked up because, I mean, in a funny way, everybody I know who's on the Kimmel crew who does a little moonlighting over here, like Mike Chaffee and Mike August and 10 other guys named Mike all are heading into the storm. They all had to pack up today and yesterday and head to the place that no one should go to.

[Gina Grad]

We're landing currently. I guess they aren't taking off.

[Adam Carolla]

Lynch, I don't know what, you know. Just got off the phone with August. He got delayed. He's not going out until Wednesday now. Oh, he's not going out. Yeah, Chaffee got in right before, but yeah, there's nothing going in there now. I didn't they canceled my O'Reilly appearance because they're going to talk about the storm that was today.

[Teresa Strasser]

Oh, that's too bad.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I did. I woke. Well, not for me. Anything you cancel for me is awesome. Like, I wake up every morning and I got an email, O'Reilly canceled. Great. And I don't even. I have no problem with doing O'Reilly. I just love the idea of something. I'm such a shitty student at my core that when somebody says, we're taking a half day off on Thursday because the smog is too bad in la, I'm like, fuck, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Have you ever been disappointed that something got canceled?

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Gina Grad]

Never, ever.

[Giovanni]

The radio show?

[Adam Carolla]

No. I was happy. I wasn't disappointed about that either because I didn't have to get up in the morning. Oh, and I got paid. No, no. That's my life's goal.

[Giovanni]

Worked out well for you for that. I got cancer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Oh, the Sopranos.

[Gina Grad]

How I get about you, Brian?

[Adam Carolla]

I'd say the Sopranos. The Sopranos being canceled is probably the only that that really affected me or bothered me.

[Gina Grad]

Well, at least there's one thing.

[Teresa Strasser]

Well, they ended. Really.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they ended? Yeah. They didn't get canceled, but ended. No, for me. I told you. I flew to New York to do Letterman and thought they were gonna bump me and was happy.

[Gina Grad]

What about, like, back in the day, was there ever a date they got canceled that you were sad about?

[Giovanni]

A race.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you mean. Well, I don't want the Mexicans to completely leave the planet. But I'm just saying, if we could thin it just a little.

[Giovanni]

Hitler's right. At a cancer.

[Adam Carolla]

You're talking about something else. Oh, you talking about like a vintage race?

[Giovanni]

Yeah, like racing cars. You're passionate.

[Gina Grad]

I think he was just trying to not renew them.

[Adam Carolla]

I see. I have.

[Gina Grad]

At the end. It was canceling.

[Adam Carolla]

I have. Let's see. I'm sorry. So a date? No, not a date. You mean with a girl?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Like, if a date got canceled, would you be disappointed in. No.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yes.

[Gina Grad]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely.

[Gina Grad]

So it's just work things.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just things that feel like work or feel like effort that don't involve a blowjob. Like, O'Reilly's not gonna suck me off.

[Gina Grad]

That you know of.

[Adam Carolla]

Have you ever done the show?

[Gina Grad]

Not right away.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So I just want. I just woke up this morning and said O'Reilly canceled. And I don't know why, I just thought. I know, I think like a chick. I just went, oh, good. And I went and started eating things that is how we felt on my period.

[Gina Grad]

Well, now, did you head for the carbs or what did you go for?

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't go for the hog and dog with the tears topping.

[Gina Grad]

No, that's a cliche. We don't really do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they should start putting the tears in the squeeze thing so you don't have to muscle them up.

[Gina Grad]

A ribbon of tears.

[Adam Carolla]

I just started thinking, I'm just gonna start eating. I just remember. I was like, fuck it.

[Gina Grad]

I don't know why now. Had you been not eating because of O'Reilly?

[Adam Carolla]

No, but I.

[Gina Grad]

You were on TB diet.

[Adam Carolla]

I hadn't been going. Perseverance Dirk with the. Went to Rosenthal's house, he made the pizza, and I only had like three and a half pieces or something. My usual nine.

[Giovanni]

Three and a half pizzas.

[Adam Carolla]

Pizzas, yeah. So I'm happy when anything gets canceled, but that's part of my problem, and that's part of the way I was raised. I look at everything as bullet dodged. Almost anything to do with work. And so Kimmel has been trying to. To get. I mean, he's in season 10, season one, we were talking about going to Brooklyn and doing a live. You know, doing it live in Brooklyn, you know, traveling the show, as they call it. And you have to have a little juice for that because the network's like, I'm not going to pay for everyone to fly out there and put them up in hotels and blah, blah, blah. And he didn't have enough juice, I think, to do it in the first season or first couple of seasons, and then maybe just kind of dropped it. And now it's season 10, and it's time to go back to his hometown of Brooklyn and do the show live. And I started looking at the guest with Howard Stern and Letterman.

[Gina Grad]

Michelle Obama. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he just did a bit with Michelle Obama. I only knew Stern, who Jimmy idolizes Letterman, who he may idolize more than Stern. Jon Stewart, friend and a good. These are great gets. Because Jon Stewart and Letterman and you know, Letterman doesn't show up on anyone's show.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So I knew he had Letterman, Stewart and Stern already. And I was like, oh, Colbert, Was it Colbert? Yeah. And so I was like, oh, he's fucking going back and he's loaded for bear and all this kind of shit. And then act of God.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Turns out someone doesn't want this to happen.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe God's a never know.

[Giovanni]

Explain a lot.

[Gina Grad]

He must be really disappointed. And yet he probably can't really feel justified in being disappointed because everyone's supposed to be worried about what's going on.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't know. So Lynch, August is heading out there on Wednesday. Wednesday. And are they going to be dark then tonight and Monday night and Tuesday night? I think they're playing it day by day. I mean, they're definitely not doing one tonight. I don't know about tomorrow. Mm. This is almost like the fucking dnc, right? Yeah. All right. Bad times.

[Gina Grad]

The Giants won the. Their world series game. Is that the correct terminology?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the World Series.

[Gina Grad]

The World Series.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, they win the world. Well, they were just up.

[Giovanni]

They swept last night.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, last night.

[Gina Grad]

This is why Brian has this beer.

[Giovanni]

Can you shave now?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. Did Detroit score a fucking run?

[Giovanni]

They were shut out two games in a row. And yes, they actually led for the first time all series last night. But the Giants came back and. Fucking team of destiny, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Unbelievable.

[Giovanni]

Yeah, they played really well.

[Adam Carolla]

So.

[Gina Grad]

Because they did so well, people freaked the fuck out afterwards and set bonfires of trash and broke windows of businesses and vehicles, including a news van. And they set couches on fire and whatnot. And now I said, is this considered a riot? There were. There were a lot of arrests. I don't know if there were any injuries.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think there's anything funny about people setting news vans on fire, Alison. So, no, not what I call a riot. Okay?

[Gina Grad]

A hoot, a kick in the pants.

[Adam Carolla]

What. What's the insurance on a news van? Because I feel like the over under on a news van just staying on its feet is like less than three months.

[Giovanni]

Months between hurricanes and Giants World Series.

[Adam Carolla]

Just angry folks turning them over.

[Gina Grad]

They should disguise them as some other kind of van.

[Giovanni]

I said it wasn't a riot based on the standard set by Lakers fans. Like, that's a riot. This is just. This is a San Francisco riot. This is a good time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So a couple people climbing up the post, you know, for the light signals and other people, I don't know.

[Teresa Strasser]

You get a burning vehicle, that's a riot.

[Adam Carolla]

Do they have a burning vehicle or just a sofa?

[Giovanni]

San Francisco riots van.

[Adam Carolla]

I think they just busted the windows out, right?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, wait, no, sorry. A transit bus was torched.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's good.

[Teresa Strasser]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

San Francisco.

[Giovanni]

San Francisco riot. Sounds like a sex move.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Transit bus also sounds like heavyset guy who was like pre op. As soon as you lose. When you get. Listen, when you get. When you drop that hundred pounds, then we can cut your dork off. Until then we can't talk. Transit bus, you're on fire. Transit bus.

[Giovanni]

Go pull a San Francisco ride wherever you and your gay buddies do.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, it does help.

[Gina Grad]

Can someone explain to me why people do this and why this is fun? Because this to me is like a mosh pit. I don't want any part of it. It's getting in the way of my quiet celebration.

[Adam Carolla]

The problem with people is we are kept in line by other people. For the most part.

[Gina Grad]

Not well enough.

[Adam Carolla]

But once we get enough of us that are like minded together, then we start taking a turn for the dark. So if there's one purse snatcher and 20 law abiding people, then that'll be fine. Or one guy who decides to get naked and put a bottle rocket in his ass and there's a bunch of. But once you get a group of purse snatchers together like a bunch of.

[Gina Grad]

Rays, it would be the ray effect.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And there's also this, obviously this mob mentality and this sort of thing. But we all have that mischief in us. Like we all secretly would like to see a bus burning. We just don't really want to get caught throwing a molotov cocktail into a bus. Yeah, I don't know.

[Gina Grad]

So it's real Lord of the Flies.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's also. Dude. It's booze and dude.

[Gina Grad]

That's what I was gonna say.

[Teresa Strasser]

I think mob behavior.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's mob behavior. Mob, booze, dude, stuff. Gentile, thank God. Gentile dude.

[Gina Grad]

But I think that's in men. That aggressive impulse that is sublimated by civilization. The type of stuff you have to kind of push down in order to get along in polite society. I think men can tap into it more readily than women.

[Giovanni]

Probably very. Mainly female Giants fans, if you know what I mean.

[Gina Grad]

But I think women do it too. I'm just saying, I. I don't know. Like, if you get a whole mob of women together, are they going to set a bus on fire or are they just going to make fun of one of them?

[Adam Carolla]

They're going to make fun of the.

[Gina Grad]

One with weird hair.

[Adam Carolla]

They're going to comment that the bus drivers put a little weight on. That's what women do.

[Teresa Strasser]

It could be as devastating.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, emotionally for sure. Bus can be replaced.

[Teresa Strasser]

Yeah, exactly. You can't replace.

[Gina Grad]

No scars but inside. Thank you. Speaking of, I don't know what that means, but Anderson Cooper's talk show has been canceled after two seasons. Anderson and Warner Brothers has said that it is just increasingly difficult for talk shows, new talk shows, to break through in a market with Ellen and live with Kelly and Michael and Katie Couric and whatnot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, TV is. They're slicing that pie up so fucking thin now. I just. I hear these numbers that people are getting for their sitcoms, like primetime sitcoms and stuff like that. Ratings mean ratings. Numbers. Sorry. And I hear the numbers and I go, fuck. We used to dip that on MTV when we did Loveline. Like, it's just a completely. Not because we're better, just because it's sliced. It's sliced so fucking thinly now. I don't know why you'd want to try it. And if you did it, I would come at it from a completely different angle. You know, I don't think I would do anything traditional. I just give one fucking haymaker shot, one attempt at doing something that was completely different formatically. But they can't do things that are different formatically, because the people who produce TV produce tv. And that's all they fucking do. And that's all they do. And there's only one way they can go at it. And they always talk about fresh and a new voice and a different way of going about it, and see. See Afternoon talk in a different light and all that kind of stuff.

[Gina Grad]

But it's gonna be interactive because we have a Twitter account.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's always the same fucking show. It's always about. It's about the personality. But as I always say about TV producers, they do the same thing beavers would do if you put them on the roof of the fucking Chrysler Building, which is start looking for wood. And this was Telepictures, because we build dams. Well, telepictures is a hateful, horrible place filled with just some of the fucking worst individuals I've ever met in my life. And God bless them. God bless them. And if you don't believe me, all you have to do is talk to any human being that's ever had an interaction or worked with telepictures, and they're like, fuck, those guys are horrible. They hate telepictures. They're the biggest syndicator, I think, think in the world maybe, but they're horrible. I was gonna call them human beings, but they're not really humans. I've had meetings with them before, and they're not humans. It's really weird. Like, me and my agent walked out of the meeting going, was that weird? That felt weird. That feel weird to you? Yes, it felt very stilted and weird. Yeah. So anyway, good.

[Gina Grad]

Also in TV news, NBC now has the exclusive, exclusive U.S. media rights to Formula One. Racing had it for the last 17 years. And now NBC has it for the next four years.

[Adam Carolla]

Get a little fucking culture in this country, could we? NASCAR retards all the time. Let's get some fucking F1 going in this country. Like we got a brain. There's a few things Europe gets right, and one of them is motor racing. And motor car racing.

[Giovanni]

Hipster.

[Adam Carolla]

It's fucking F1. And it's road courses and it's super bikes and they know what they're doing. When it comes to racing, we just go in a fucking circle. Which hillbillies go in a circle and we're entertained by it.

[Gina Grad]

For anyone who doesn't know why is F1 so much more dynamic and amazing?

[Giovanni]

Come on, Allison.

[Gina Grad]

There might be someone who's listening who doesn't know.

[Adam Carolla]

I would say the difference between. Well, first off, F1, Formula 1 represents state of the art racing. It is the difference between a fighter jet and a Cessna. Like they're both airplanes. This is the highest technology known to man. Brought to four wheels, basically. So what it costs on a yearly basis to sponsor an F1 team versus a NASCAR team. And even though NASCAR is getting very technologically advanced and corporate and all that kind of stuff, it still has to cost five to 10 times as much to do an F1 team as it does the technology is that much greater, or even an Indy car, anything like that. It's just crazy, insane technology. Engines that rev to 19,000 rpms or 20,000 rpms, crazy small displacement motors that are putting out mega horsepower and just incredible, incredible speeds. And they have to make a bunch of rules because they just go too fast. Technology just sort of takes off and then they try to skirt the rules. And it's kind of interesting, but if you're into four wheels, this is the top of the four wheel food chain. And why we're in the middle of the four wheel food chain with nascar. And our obsession of NASCAR is insane and stupid. And it's just a bunch of fucking idiots that are like, hey, man, I'm a mopar guy. Well, I'm a Chevy guy. Well, I'm a Ford guy. Well, fuck you. That's all the same bullshit technology. This is much more interesting if you're a gearhead.

[Gina Grad]

And speaking of cars, Consumer Reports just released their annual reliability rankings and Japanese brands are at the top.

[Teresa Strasser]

So Toyota Datsun, for example, way up.

[Adam Carolla]

There, Lexus coming back, by the way, Datsun, we call it Nissan now for you.

[Teresa Strasser]

No, I know that. Well, I hope the folks know I know that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, we know.

[Gina Grad]

You know, the Toyota Prius C which is a subcompact hybrid, got the best overall score. Mazda, Subaru, Honda and Acura were close behind. And Ford and Lincoln, once top performers, were at the bottom. Also at the bottom was Chrysler Group's Chrysler, Dodge and Ram. The best performing US brand was Cadillac and the Audi brand. Volkswagen's Audi made the biggest strides this year, climbing 18 spots to number eight. And that was the best performing European brand, Audi.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, a couple things and first off, off, everything works now. So when you say like, oh, Ford, well, believe me, even the Ford is above whatever the Audi or The Mercedes was 10 years ago. Everything is just good. Now you have your choice between good and great. There's no more, just piles of shit. There's no more lemons anymore. But I said it once, I'll say it again. Audi was a joke a few years ago. It was a car that if your friend said in the late 80s, early 90s, I'm thinking about getting an Audi, you would have been like, are you fucking nuts? Those cars are unreliable. They're pieces of shit. Everyone knew some weirdo that had like a 1988 Audi and was always in the shop. It was Fox and it was Fox was a vw. But Fox made VW made the Fox. But I think Audi and VW were the same. Whatever, but still are.

[Teresa Strasser]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

The point is, is this. Now Audi is clearly the best brand out there. I mean, yeah, it's not as reliable as a Toyota, but if you want to drive a luxury automobile or performance automobile, you want the Audi. And it's from a styling standpoint. From a reliability standpoint. So what's the moral of the story? It's not that people have anything against Audi or for Audi. We don't. I try to explain this to people all the time. We don't have an inherent. We love Toyota, we hate Audi, we love Audi, we hate Toyota. We want the best product and then we will buy that product. We spend tons of time trying to work on the branding of the product. Fuck that. Work on the product.

[Gina Grad]

Is reliability something that you, Adam, care about? Because I know I do. Because to me it's a huge annoyance if I have to take my car in.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's part and parcel to reliability is to the entire vehicle. Meaning if the fit and finish. There's not cars that have great fit and finish, great materials, use of materials, great technology, but they're not reliable. It's like saying it's almost that way in human beings. It's not like the guy's sober, he works hard, but he's always late. It's like. It's not really that. It's. Once you get the package, you usually get the whole package. So it's usually junk is junk. And unreliable and fit and finish and materials and construction and all that gets. The reliability comes along with it. On rare occasion. There's a specific problem with a certain kind of car or certain companies are good with interiors and certain are better with exteriors. But all I'm saying is Audi was a laughing stock and now Audi's at the top of the mountain when it comes to European car marks. Why? Because they make a superior product. And we don't give a shit. We don't hold a grudge and we don't have. We don't all stare in the rear view mirror, the proverbial rear view mirror. We just go, who makes the best European car right now? Audi. I'm buying one. Sure. And that's the way it works.

[Teresa Strasser]

I bought one in 2000 and ran it into the ground for 10 years. You know, it's the greatest car I ever bought. I lived in it in Audi.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Teresa Strasser]

That sounds like a commercial. But the reason I bought it is because I rented a car out here when I was making a wreck record and they bumped me up to an Audi rental and I couldn't believe it. This sounds like a wow commercial, but I couldn't believe this car. I was like, holy. So I went back home and Audi. Too much money. An Audi rental. I know, you gotta love that.

[Adam Carolla]

And now I know, because that's why I bought it.

[Teresa Strasser]

It was because it was a better car. But, you know, my God, what you're talking about. Reliability. Next car I buy might be a Toyota, you know, because of that, you know. You know, the Audi's great, but you have to have a certain budget per year.

[Adam Carolla]

What I'm telling everybody now is it's like saying this guy got a 97 on his calculus final and this guy got a 93. Neither one of them are morons. The Guy got the 97 is the Toyota. The guy got the 93. Maybe that's Ford. I wouldn't get a Jeep. Chrysler, Jeep, Jeep, whatever. I mean, some of that Jeep stuff still looks like shit to me. And I've driven the rental cars like the Compass or whatever it is, and it's still. It's still fucking retard mobiles. But, you know, Ford is just as good. Or like I said, it's not just as good, it's close to as good.

[Gina Grad]

That's the news I'm Alison Rosen. Zip it. Imaginary ev.

[Teresa Strasser]

That was the news with Alice. Alison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

So, Freddie, we got you to admit that Evie was about somebody because we didn't buy your of. It was way too specific.

[Teresa Strasser]

My eyes.

[Adam Carolla]

It was too specific a song to be about nobody but the chain.

[Teresa Strasser]

The names were changed to protect my ass, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Understand? Understand.

[Giovanni]

All right, my theory. It's Freddy's Tears, right about.

[Teresa Strasser]

You are looking.

[Adam Carolla]

Could it be. And where did Fredi come from?

[Teresa Strasser]

That's a nickname my mom gave me. My. My real name is Fred.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Freddie's nice.

[Teresa Strasser]

It just. It just stuck. I've been called Freedy since I was a kid or 15. She called me Freed, actually, at the end there, you know, really?

[Adam Carolla]

Freed.

[Teresa Strasser]

She's the only one that ever called me Freed.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that.

[Teresa Strasser]

I kind of like, you know, maybe, you know, that's. That's the way that is. Yeah. It really started because a friend of ours, Lela, was. Was looking for me.

[Adam Carolla]

Me.

[Teresa Strasser]

And was too inebriated to say my name. And so.

[Adam Carolla]

Really.

[Teresa Strasser]

So it came out as Freddy, and my mother latched onto that. And that was the end of that. It was a drunken slurring of Freddy.

[Adam Carolla]

What if I asked Eric Clapton about your friend Leela? Do you think he would lie to me?

[Teresa Strasser]

He would lie. Well, no, he'd probably tell the truth, actually. I'm sure he knew her well.

[Adam Carolla]

Freddie Johnston can be seen live all through November and all through Madison and Minneapolis and other parts and Duluth, Minnesota. And you can check out the website friedyjohnston.com to find out. Oh, go to my PC. Pick up that guitar, Freddy. Your work is not done here. Go to my PC. Something that says confident, confident and stable, but businesslike.

[Teresa Strasser]

You got.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, more businesses are working from tablets and smartphones, but they can't replace your computer, can they? Oh, yes, they can. You gotta get. Go to my PC. Get the app. Go to my PC. Brought to you by Citrix. Turn your iPhone, your iPad, your Android, your Kindle fire into your computer. Go to my PC. What is it for you?

[Teresa Strasser]

Go to my PC.com special 45 day free trial.

[Adam Carolla]

Only if you use the promo code Adam. Visit GoToMyPC.com Go to my PC.com Try it free. Hit the button, baby. Hit the tried free button. And remember, use the promo code Adam. Once again, Brady Johnson.

[Teresa Strasser]

Go to my fishy dot com. Go to my PC.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Teresa Strasser]

A lot of places you could go.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. But you want to go to my.

[Teresa Strasser]

Go to my PC. Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Freddy Johnson. Thank you so much. For coming in.

[Teresa Strasser]

Thanks, you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

What a delight. Until next time, Sam Crow for Freddy and Allison and Bull Brian saying mahalo.

[Teresa Strasser]

Romney is money.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, this is Adam Coelishow 945 with Ray Brady Johnson. A lot of the big hits and songs he talks about off his third album is Perfect World from 94 had.

[Giovanni]

Several tracks featured in the movie Kingpin.

[Adam Carolla]

Which if you haven't seen in a.

[Giovanni]

Long time, should go back and be business.

[Adam Carolla]

Pretty great, especially the R rated.

[Giovanni]

All right, coming up next, in honor.

[Adam Carolla]

Of Big J Okerson appearing in studio.

[Giovanni]

His very first appearance from Adam Cole show 3033. This is 2021.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Big J Okerson, Ralph Sutton, Gina Grad, Brian Bishop. Hope you guys enjoy. All right, back with Big J Okerson and Ralph Sutton. They do a podcast that I've been on, the SDR show, Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll show, available wherever you listen to podcasts. Good to see you guys. Hey, we'll get to the strip club DJing at a certain point, Ralph, because it's always something I've been sort of enamored with. I'm looking down at Big J's bio here. You toured with the band Korn?

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah, yeah, Twice. Two times I did. Doing comedy in front of them.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I did some stuff with Korn, like, way back in the day. They have pretty insane fans, I've noticed.

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah. But now they're 40, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Or do you think you're being nicer than 40 now?

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's true, I guess. I'm 43. Yeah, they were. Yeah. By the time I was on tour with them, it was a little more docile.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So what kind of. So when were you out with them? So, like, when me and Jimmy did a bit with Korn, they're out here playing like, the Forum. Like, it was insane.

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah, Yeah, I did. Well, the first tour I did with them was specifically a small venue tour. It was called the Ballroom Blitz. It was in 2010. And then right after that, that was like thousand seaters or so. And then right after that, I went on the Mayhem Fest with them, which is like outdoor amphitheaters. So that was a big change.

[Adam Carolla]

What was it like doing? I couldn't imagine trying to do standup in front of that crowd.

[Ralph Sutton]

It was. What's interesting about it is I do. Anytime I would notice black people in the audience, I would always acknowledge it and, like, you know, make a bunch of jokes about black people being there, but, like, you know, to their favor, you know, I mean, like these corny white people kind of thing. Almost like pandering a bit.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Ralph Sutton]

And what was hilarious was on the message boards for those. For that tour, it would go. That would be perceived anywhere from, all right, enough kissing black ass to be in, like. You know, it's like. It's like, leave them alone. Stop bothering them. Like, you're hurt. You're being terrible and racist. It's like there was no in between.

[Mike August]

It was just so you don't feel alone. Adam often, often acknowledges our black fan.

[Adam Carolla]

At our live shows. Seen him once.

[Ralph Sutton]

That's adorable.

[Adam Carolla]

Did. You're in the city, right, Jay?

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What's it like? I haven't been to New York since the pandemic. Dr. Drew goes back and forth, sort of. He says it's kind of ghost townie, but I don't know. Is it?

[Ralph Sutton]

It's picking up now. Now it's. It. It looks, during the day, pretty back to normal. I'd say, Ralph, wouldn't you?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I would say that in my. I'm in the East Village, and I would say that if you didn't see the masks, you wouldn't think anything was off. Right now it feels pretty normal.

[Adam Carolla]

So people are walking around, getting slices of pizza and doing all the stuff they did.

[Big J Okerson]

What totally feels normal now.

[Adam Carolla]

What is. So I think out here in California, we just made it into, like, the magenta zone or something. I don't know what the fucking colors are anymore. They just. They give you these colors and then they go. You made it into this zone. So we made it into some zone where, I don't know, gyms are 10% and indoor dining is 25% or, you know, Disneyland's going to be open at half capacity. Like, where. What. What's going on with New York in terms of, like, capacity?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, one thing I could say that I was excited about. On Friday, I went to a comedy show for the first time in a year and a half. I was able to go. Then went to the stand and saw comedy. I don't even know if it's legal or not. So maybe not, but they are doing it, and it wasn't legal. It may not have been restaurants.

[Ralph Sutton]

It wasn't legal. It starts tomorrow. Tomorrow everything starts legal.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, good. Yeah.

[Giovanni]

Restaurants doesn't air till tomorrow. So we're good?

[Ralph Sutton]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, good. So, yeah, it was totally legal. That's what I meant to say. I'm going tonight.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So, yeah, we haven't had. I don't know. I'm looking at Chris, but you Guys might know too. I don't think the Comedy Store's been open at all. I don't think the improv's been open at all. And I think the Laugh Factory stores.

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah, Comedy Store's done a bunch of outside. It's weird. I think they set the crowd up outside with a screen and the people perform inside to nobody.

[Adam Carolla]

Really.

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah. All these situations have been. Me and David Tell did a car like a drive in show in D.C. that was wonky. And it's like, they're fine, they're as good as they can be, but it's just a. I don't know. I love doing comedy and I don't know if I love doing it that much to do it under any circumstance. You know, I was. I could have been fine to not do a car show.

[Big J Okerson]

There was that thing they called the Accidental comedy where they just had happened to have a mic on. Stand. Mic. Stand up with a hot mic because they could serve dinner. Dinner was legal, but the show wasn't. So just by chance, comics would walk up and do comedy. But then they found out about that.

[Ralph Sutton]

The comedy seller was doing that.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Comedy seller was doing that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The Comedy Store has not been open here. I don't know what the rules are. They serve food there. I feel like it could go in at some capacity. And it's also. Are there rules?

[Big J Okerson]

The rule is amplified sound. They say no amplified sound. That's the part that makes no sense.

[Adam Carolla]

That's crazy. That's like.

[Mike August]

That's like when I lived in New York, that's the cabaret rule. Like no dancing because now you don't have a cabaret license. It's the same crazy shit.

[Big J Okerson]

Archaic rules that are held over from the 1800s.

[Ralph Sutton]

For some reason, New York's big thing that they held off on, there was no real rules written up as they were opening some things and keeping some things closed. Different capacities for some reason that stuck with that we're not even going to acknowledge. This was comedy and stripping. Yeah, those two things were the problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it seems like. I mean, I don't want to sound corny, but people could definitely use a laugh these days. And the improv's been closed and the Laugh Factory's been closed. And yes, I've been doing a lot of shows around here where they just like pop up outdoor, but not even outdoor, like patio shows. Like, I did one at a. I did one like in between two buildings. Like, like, it's also funny too, and it also shows you human nature. So it's like they Go. No indoor shows. And then someone finds a space in between two buildings which formerly was outdoor. And then they hang, like, a roof on top of it and put up a bunch of furniture and put a bunch of heat lamps and stuff. And the next thing you know, it's ostensibly an indoor show.

[Ralph Sutton]

Now, the stress factory in New Jersey did that exact thing they built. He spent a ton of money to build, like, a tent comedy club in his own parking lot. And it was great, but it was all above board. Like, as far as, like, legal. But, yeah, it made no difference. You might as well have just been in the building.

[Big J Okerson]

They make the same distinction with you guys that if a bar was serving food, they could be open. But if there was, which makes absolutely no sense. And what quantified food was also weird, like, chicken wings were no longer good enough. For some reason.

[Ralph Sutton]

I've. I went by nice places in Europe. Me and Joe Derosa one time went by a place to get a drink, but they also have to serve food. So that was my one bar just makes. Just gives you a hot dog. No matter what you order, they just say, all right, here's your hot dog. And I guess this beer. But we went to a. We just stopped because there was nowhere else to go. Like a night. It was like a nice restaurant that was like. So we're like, let's get a drink here. But that you had to order something of food. So it is funny to drop it in. Like, hey, let's just grab a Budweiser. And I guess this fig prosciutto balsamic reduction that we're not gonna eat.

[Adam Carolla]

It's funny. We've all turned into Hasidic Jews with the Shabbos goyim. It's like, you know, you go, well, you can't turn on your microwave on a Saturday. Okay, get the blonde kid from across the street. He'll come up. Cause I want Hot Pockets. Well, then why are we doing this if everyone is just gonna to. I've realized we're starting to treat the government. We treat them just sort of how we treat the irs. Like we go, all right, let's see how we can get around. I'm gonna buy this car. I'm gonna call it my company car. Then I'm gonna take my kid's room, and I'm gonna turn it into my office, and I'll ride it off. I'll sit on his race car bed and do my work, but I'm gonna ride it off. It's kind of a weird relationship to have with the government, where they go, here's some rules for your safety. And we go, all right, let's fucking figure out how to get around that shit. And it's gonna.

[Ralph Sutton]

I found that same thing with insurance is always surprised me. You have to just pay it, no questions asked, every month. And then when you're like, hey, I need that insurance help now. I've been paying. And they're like, hang on, make sure you're not with us, right? I was like, you're like, yeah, seriously, I really need that help. And they're like, we're gonna send out a grumpy person to stare at these things you're talking about and angrily decide if we're going to help you or not.

[Big J Okerson]

In an extremely privileged white person statement, when you get a building appraised, you get the better appraisal to finance it, and then you give the shitty appraisal to the tax people. So you spend. You spend less on taxes or you may get a better mortgage deal. It makes no sense, you know, when.

[Ralph Sutton]

You'Re trying to trade in rubies, it's really hard.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm a privileged white person. What can I tell you?

[Adam Carolla]

Ralph, we were talking about you being a former strip club DJ for a very long time.

[Big J Okerson]

Ten years, if I really am being honest. Probably about 14 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Yeah. No shame in that. My God, that would make you the most successful guy from my high school, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

But it was by the way, at one point before all the regulations in New York shut down a lot of the strip clubs and went from when there was four strip clubs in New York to 40 I would make, which, imagine at 23 years old, two, $3,000 a night in cash and being surrounded by gorgeous women every night. It was a great job to have.

[Ralph Sutton]

You didn't. You didn't make two, three grand.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, I did. 100%.

[Ralph Sutton]

Strippers don't make that.

[Big J Okerson]

No, because they'd be a hundred girls a night, and it was a $20 minimum the girl had to give you, and that would be the least amount she could give you. And that meant I wouldn't play the right music for her. I'd call her to stage when maybe she didn't want to go. So every. I averaged about 20 questions.

[Ralph Sutton]

Ralph, would you play that game? Would you be all the time with douchebag? You'd be that much douchebag?

[Big J Okerson]

100%.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ralph Sutton]

It's like now coming to the stage, it's peaches on the shitty stage.

[Big J Okerson]

On the backyard stage. Yeah. Nobody.

[Adam Carolla]

You do that.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how you make money did what were some of.

[Adam Carolla]

Then they all have their own song requests, right? Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You had Pure Platinum, which was the number one strip club in the world at the time. And every girl had to be introduced. Yes, Jay. Yes, Jason. The number one strip club in the world. And you had to.

[Giovanni]

According to the monthly coaches rankings.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, according to the rankings.

[Adam Carolla]

You had.

[Big J Okerson]

To give every girl where they were from and two credits. So you couldn't just say Amber to the main stage. You'd have to say, you may have seen her in Playboy magazine.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, wait, don't sleepwalk your way through this potential comedy gold here. Let me play a little music and let's see how that might. That might sound.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that's the anthem right there. All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome right now to the world famous Pure Platinum in New York City. It is your time to grab a gorgeous girl by the garter, get it going on tableside with a fine fabulous female right now joining us on the main stage. You may have seen her in Playboy magazine. She likes to shoot pool on the weekend. Weekend. She's from Columbus, Ohio. Ladies and gentlemen, it is Amber on the main stage.

[Adam Carolla]

Nice.

[Giovanni]

Shooting pool on the weekends counts as a credit.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, well, you make up stupid shit because not everyone had a real credit, you know.

[Giovanni]

True.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ralph Sutton]

She graduated from Colombia and she's terrified of pools.

[Adam Carolla]

Did. She did that. And all the girls have their own songs, right?

[Big J Okerson]

They have. Well, I wouldn't allow specific songs because really they go up once and then what do you play for them the next time they go up?

[Adam Carolla]

You can't. And I could hear the argument now, look, Jim Croce is a perfectly legitimate artist. If you knew how to dance.

[Big J Okerson]

Operator actually instituted a rock night. Rock hours, like I would say from 12 to 2. It's just rock and roll. Because at the time, most of the audience was 35, 40 year old white guys that wanted to hear rock and all the girls wanted to hear hip hop or dance. And they didn't want to hear that.

[Adam Carolla]

That.

[Big J Okerson]

And I would say just pretend you like rock for one night and tell me if it makes a difference.

[Ralph Sutton]

You see, Ralph, it was funny. It's. It's that thing where you're like, you'd be snippy with them and cut the shit. I didn't do strip club dj, but I used to drive the strippers to bachelor parties. It like hotels and Atlantic City and shit like that. And when I did that, like it was such a team work thing. Do you know what I mean? There was no like I'm gonna. I'm gonna fuck them over. I'm like, I feel like I didn't fuck them over.

[Big J Okerson]

It was to make the money. I would tell. I know. You know, Jay never believed any of my stories, but they're all lies. The clubs used to make at least 25 to 30% more when I would DJ, so they would want me to.

[Adam Carolla]

Do whatever the fuck I want to see.

[Ralph Sutton]

You're like the fucking roadhouse.

[Big J Okerson]

I was the strip whisperer.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought he'd be bigger. I heard you were.

[Ralph Sutton]

I heard you were the best.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Big J Okerson]

That was me. That was me.

[Adam Carolla]

Did.

[Ralph Sutton]

Hey, Miho.

[Adam Carolla]

We could probably do that entire movie if you wanted, Jake, because I. I know every line in that movie too. And, you know, the sad thing is, is I grew up with a love of bad movies. I love them. I watch, you know, I've seen Stallone do in the specialist 50 times. I've seen cobra 50 times. Fuck. You know, look, Rambo's fine and Rocky's fine, but I go deep cut. Like bad, bad movies.

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah, Cobra's great.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Cobra's. Cobra is the best. My son, he's 14, he's like. He has no interest in ironically bad movies. He makes fun of me. It's like, why don't we watch a good movie? Yeah, the last time.

[Ralph Sutton]

The last time you got a sexy Brigitte Nielsen.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ralph Sutton]

You're the disease and I'm the cure. That was a great line. Take the score.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you think it was a bad movie when you saw it originally or just now? You appreciate it because you loved it so much and you know it's bad, but you enjoy it.

[Adam Carolla]

Movies back then were like stadium food back then. Like, are these good nachos? No. Are you enjoying the fuck out of them? Yes. Like, that's basically what it. Like, this is shit food, but I'm fucking loving it. That's the way I felt early.

[Ralph Sutton]

Early Seagal makes me feel that way too. Like a hard to kill. Particularly Guy gets out of siege was always Guy gets out of a nine year coma and he's just ready to do karate in hospital immediately.

[Adam Carolla]

Literally forced my son to watch under siege with me one week ago. Yes. So, Ralph, the strip club DJing still interested in this? Did you the music selection, you feel like the guys did a little more tipping? They stayed longer, they drank more, they enjoyed themselves because they weren't listening to a bunch of young shit that the girls wanted to hear, but they were listening to the shit they wanted to hear.

[Big J Okerson]

I would tell the Girls to pretend you love it, sing along, act like you're interested. I guarantee you'll make more money. If it doesn't work, we'll go back to playing whatever you want to hear. And most of the time it would become whatever I felt would make the club more money.

[Adam Carolla]

Did. And how'd it go with the sex with the ladies? I know I look at your.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay is looking at me with such disgust right now. He gets so annoyed. But no, I'm not.

[Ralph Sutton]

I'm actually obsessed with the fact that my eyebrows are so different shapes me out. I've never noticed it until we did all these zoom things. But it looks like I'm always giving. That's why you think I'm like, don't believe you, Ralph. Because I always look.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going like, well, as a makeup.

[Mike August]

Artist said to me one time, your eyebrows are sisters, not twins.

[Adam Carolla]

Look at you.

[Ralph Sutton]

Well, a lot of people told me that as I was having emotional meltdowns about my eyebrows. I really make big things out of nothing.

[Big J Okerson]

I went to get once the eyebrow thingy and they made me look like a drag queen. I looked like I was going to a Tina Turner concert to be a performer. I hated it so much. I don't do it anymore. I try to be.

[Adam Carolla]

I've got mine. I realized the two things, things about either getting your eyebrows waxed, which I've definitely done, or your hair cut.

[Giovanni]

Tell us Manishil guy, if the chick.

[Adam Carolla]

Starts talking, like starts complaining about her ex husband or something, you're going to lose all your hair and all your eyebrows. Because once they get fucking going, their hands don't stop. They're just doing. But they're on something and they're rolling along and if they talk too much, you're gonna pop up. And the thing about the haircut is you can see yourself getting the haircut. So you can kind of go like, okay, I think we got it now. But the eyebrows, you pop up and you look like fucking Agnes Moorhead. And then, and then it doesn't grow back the next day. You know, it's awful.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I now don't do it very seldom because I don't want to look ridiculous. And just I would like to do it more often, but I have fear for it. But anyway to your question, and yes, it was great. I was very spoiled. In for the term I would use is spoon fed vagina. You know, girls would just come up to the DJ booth and I could pretty much, I would say I probably had sex in the DJ booth 25, 30 times.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn, it was crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

Now was that just a straight. You know, you're attractive, you're young. I'd like to have sex with you. Or is that I want you to play a little less Gordon Lightfoot in my neck.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. How old do you think I am with these musical references? I know a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just trying to pick horrible light.

[Ralph Sutton]

Here's Tammy dancing to Baker Street.

[Adam Carolla]

Jerry Rafferty.

[Mike August]

That actually kind of sweet.

[Big J Okerson]

It's actually the first time I worked the club. That was the top club in New York. The Stringfellows presents Pure Platinum, which is on 21st of Park. It's not there anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

Classy.

[Big J Okerson]

The first night I went in, you had to go there at 4:00 in the afternoon. They would open at 5. And I walked in and there was this pretty Spanish girl sitting there. As I walked in, she goes, you're the new dj? I said, yeah. She said, I'll be in the DJ booth in five minutes. I said, all right. I come in, setting up. She comes in, she immediately starts to blow me. Immediately. And I'm like, I thought this I'm gonna get fired. They're testing me to see what kind of guy I am, if I'm gonna allow this to happen or what. So I start to freak out and I stop her. And then she says as she walks out, I put me on the main stage at 11 o'clock. So that's why she did it for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. There you go. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Some I would like to think thought I was charming.

[Adam Carolla]

Who knows?

[Mike August]

Hey, I have a quick question because this comes up a lot we talk about on the show sometimes. I have been told, I've heard tale that there are some strip clubs that the food and the buffet situation is actually on point. How was the food at your club.

[Big J Okerson]

Back in the day? It was amazing. Back in the day. It was a great restaurant, had a really good chef. I can't speak for now because that's not what it used to be. It used to be be a really high end experience. It was like $30 just to get in. You know, food was crazy expensive.

[Ralph Sutton]

DJs getting blown by someone real classic stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

And by the way, Gina. Yeah, we're just talking about Ralph getting sucked off in the DJ booth. And you're like, but how are the pot stickers? No one gives a shit. Is that is the answer to that?

[Ralph Sutton]

I will tell you though, Gina, that I've gone. I went into a swingers club once and there a the Sternos with a little. Yep I've been a little.

[Mike August]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

With the trays.

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah. But they had a chafing dish, baked ziti, and a thing of dinner rolls and butter.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you want a carb load before you get into it?

[Ralph Sutton]

Does seem like a weird thing to eat at a place where, you know, I think they expect you to pull your shit out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Now, that should all just be Gatorade and Hickam. You shouldn't really be doing ziti in that environment. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you try it, Jay, or No. Just to see what it would taste like.

[Ralph Sutton]

No, it was like, the down. Basement's the wrong word, I guess. But the downstairs of a strip club. And I went in there with my chick at the time, and they were like, oh, it's like, you can go downstairs cause you're a couple. So we just, like, went downstairs and looked, and I just saw a black couple were, like, starting to, like, fuck on a couch. But they.

[Adam Carolla]

You're like, hey, it's the guy from the Korn concert. J thinks all black people.

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah, it was. No, they were. They were like. She was, like, straddling the guy. I don't think they were having sex yet. But we just kept. We watched it unfold. There was just, like, a weird guy who came by himself. And I guess it's free for couples or a hundred dollars for a single dude, which I'd say is sort of a bargain if you think it happened, if you're that hard up. But this guy was just pacing around behind them. And then he would just squat down like a catch, and. And start, like, reaching into his, like, shorts and just, like, knocking his dick around a little bit. And then he would. And then he would stop for a while because, like, they would sort of acknowledge him, like, please stop. But, like, quietly. Until, like, eventually the black dude had had enough and he had, like. It was like a thing. Like, he had to really say something. And they made the guy leave and shit. And then we left. I just wanted to see what happened with that.

[Big J Okerson]

I think the single guy thing at any swingers club, they always think something's gonna happen. But any.

[Adam Carolla]

Any.

[Big J Okerson]

Any reputable or decent swingers club would never let a single dude in.

[Ralph Sutton]

I think it's good. I don't know if that's true. I think they could pay, but even.

[Big J Okerson]

If they can pay, they shouldn't do it. I just have. The few times I've done them, Any of the really good ones would not. They'd allow single girls in, but not single guys, really.

[Ralph Sutton]

Ralph, you went to the really good.

[Big J Okerson]

Swingers right next to the really good club.

[Ralph Sutton]

What else, Ralph? Were you letting us to Studio 54 first? Because I went to Studio 54 when.

[Big J Okerson]

I was 10 years old.

[Ralph Sutton]

Else of these things happen in your life that now you're.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sorry, Jay. That my life is filled with a tapestry of beautiful memories and jizz.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you. You went to Studio 54 when you were 10?

[Big J Okerson]

I was 10 years old. My dad was going to some party there and I guess we didn't have a babysitter, so I went in when I was 10 years old.

[Adam Carolla]

Jay doesn't believe anything.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't even ask my dad because he's dead, you jackass.

[Ralph Sutton]

Wow, that's a good lie. That's why it's a good lie.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, Jay. I believe Jay's stories because you cannot make up ZD and a guy squatting and a black guy on a. I.

[Big J Okerson]

Think that's the reason why his stories are less believable because he goes into such detail.

[Ralph Sutton]

Here's. My stories are believable because I tell the stories. I said this a long time ago. In comedy, hero stories fall awkwardly on ears. Like people understand losing shit. Looking like an ass, feeling uncomfortable, feeling weird. Weird. You can't just leave off so far. Here's what you've given the audience. You've given them got my dick sucked and 30 times in that strip club. Oh, it was easy. It was just raining. Sniz.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I do. But first off, I like Ralph's stories because. Yeah. You didn't say you went to Studio 54 and Brooks Shields. You said you went with your dad.

[Big J Okerson]

When you were my dad took me because it could to find a babysitter.

[Adam Carolla]

How is that a good story?

[Ralph Sutton]

I'm telling you that you could say anything about anything and Ralph's going to come up with something about it. Somehow he gets mad because Six degrees of Kevin. Six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

[Big J Okerson]

Sorry, Jay. I don't know how to prove it. By the way, just so you know, at least 10 times on the show I have proven Jay wrong when he doesn't believe me.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I believe you, Ralph did. Back to the strip club. Are strip clubs even really, like a thing anymore? I mean. I mean, I know this pandemic and everything. Now, I haven't been in a while.

[Big J Okerson]

But what I could tell you is that again, back then it was very restricted because they knew there was a lot of eyes on them from police and they didn't want them in there. So girls, when they were leaving the end of the night, they had to tell when they arrived, a dance would arrive. They'd have to tell management how they're going home. My boyfriend's picking me up, I'm taking an Uber. Not an Uber, a taxi or whatever. And they would write down the taxi number like it was really regimented and there was no touching. Table dances were done where the term came from. They bring a little table over and they would dance on a table. You couldn't touch them, they couldn't touch you. And then over the years, it got more and more lax because there was more competition.

[Ralph Sutton]

That's also my thing, too, with strip clubs. Why I've never enjoyed them as an adult. Because if I'm going for the spectacle of it, one, it would have to be full nude to make it make sense at all. If we're going to go see pasties and underwear, let's just go meet real people. But if we're gonna go look at it, let's go look at it. And also, if I'm going to a place that's so fashionably high end and everything's trying to be too, like, you know, regimental like you said, and serious and restrictive, like, I'd want to go to a place where, like, you know, some girls, like, queefing wiffle balls and let you take swipes at them or something.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, that explains the difference in our personalities right there. But I would say that at my club, the girls had to wear gowns. They had to change their outfits three times a night. It was. They had to wear at least two.

[Ralph Sutton]

They were so classy, they'd suck you off at a booth.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, sorry, Jay. What can I say? I'm gorgeous.

[Adam Carolla]

I went to one with David Alan Greer. We went to Olympic Gardens in Vegas a million years ago. I think we were doing cranky anchors out of Vegas. And his stripper sat down next to him, told him that she'd been stabbed by her boyfriend 17 times.

[Ralph Sutton]

And I thought, I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know strip club etiquette. But I'd like to. I like the struggling college student. Not, you know, pin cushion for violent homicidal boyfriend. You know what I mean?

[Ralph Sutton]

If I heard that, like, I've been stabbed 17 times. Like, I think I'm gonna like it here.

[Adam Carolla]

One of my. I don't know why it just popped in my head, but I used to go into this strip club that was out here in North Holland, Hollywood, and one of the strippers danced to the cult. What is the cult's big firewoman? Yeah, I think. Wow. Wait who did that?

[Giovanni]

What do you think?

[Adam Carolla]

You, Brian. Wow. Yeah, there was this one that had another hit too, but quietly. Quietly good Stripper music lover. Maybe it was this one. Dawson doesn't like the Cult, but it was good striper music.

[Ralph Sutton]

Firewoman was a good cult song.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, this is.

[Giovanni]

She sells Sanctuary.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, maybe it's Firewoman.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's Firewoman. Or it was Love Removal Machine. Those are the two big ones at a strip club, I would say.

[Ralph Sutton]

I'm surprised Depeche Mode didn't get more love in strip clubs. Personal Jesus. Those are good songs.

[Adam Carolla]

And they were now. So there's two things. Multiple things are going on in strip clubs for me. The chicks are all going all, like, cardi b tattoo, thigh tattoos. Like, too many tattoos. Like, too much going on. Like, too much fake stuff. They used to be kind of girl next story kind of thing. And then also they're getting into full trapeze acts and full. The stuff they're doing on that poll. As a father, I worry for their safety. Like, they go up there, they kick their feet over the head, they hang out, they do an iron cross. It's like, I'm like, she's gonna fucking fall 18ft and break her neck. Like, it's distracting.

[Ralph Sutton]

Isn't it funny, though, too, Adam, that, like, all of that, from the lights to the outfits to the shoes to the gowns to the athletics, that's all for them themselves. It's, like, all for the guys. Dude. I think Kurt Metzger was. Had a great joke about. About if men designed a strip club. We said it'd be, like, harsh. Harsh fluorescent lighting, and they would come out in, like, regular street clothes and, like, uncomfortably take them off.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Or they'd probably. They'd probably be chased by a guy in their underwear. Probably begin with them running from somebody in their underpants.

[Ralph Sutton]

No loud music at all. Just them being like, my pants now. Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, at the club I was at, the girls couldn't have tattoos if they had them. They had to hide them with some sort of, like, makeup so you couldn't see that they had a tattoo. No poll work at all. And you couldn't ever go down on.

[Ralph Sutton]

The floor or you would get suck your. In a.

[Big J Okerson]

That was part of the. That was in the bylaws, though. Jay.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that pole work. No pole working. No floor work. Like, a nice Mormon family ran platinum Plus.

[Big J Okerson]

It was crazy.

[Ralph Sutton]

No pole work. You look like a whole.

[Mike August]

Well, I've been several times to the polelympics, and I've Actually gotten to help judge one. And I gotta tell you, athleticism out the. Out the yin yang. I mean, stuff. I used to take S factor because every girl took S Factor because it was fun. I can't do that shit. That, that. I hope you're tipping them handsomely when you see stuff like that.

[Adam Carolla]

What's S factor?

[Mike August]

That was the chick, the actress. Oh, God, what was her name? She started the, like, pole workout. So I learned how to do all the spins and stuff, and. And it's crazy hard.

[Ralph Sutton]

Oh, I bet.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You know, you're. I think Jay is right, though. It's all for them and not for them and for the other strippers, because it. First off, I don't. I don't want you to possess any skills other than looking hot and being fucked up and naked. I don't like the idea that you're on the gymnast team at ASU for 14 years. You know, I don't. I want picture dad driving you to practice when you're nine. And I like the civilian thing, you know, it's an interesting thing. Well, here's how we could probably divide this. I think a bikini is much sexier than lingerie. I love a bikini. I love going to the beach. I love seeing the girls in the bikinis. Lingerie is fine, but to me, bikini is sexier, and that's because it's civilian, you know, it's like civilian lingerie.

[Ralph Sutton]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I agree with that. I think lingerie is pointless. I never understand. Just be naked. If you're in my bed with me, I'd prefer you to just be naked. I never would say, man, I would love to see this girl in a teddy when they're naked. It just makes no sense to me.

[Ralph Sutton]

Anytime, the first or early in, hooking up with someone and they pull out, like, the lingerie, like, it's really. It's. It almost cripples me mentally on what's, like, the next thing. Like, how much do I have to acknowledge this before I take it off? Like, I know she put it on to a song earlier and did that thing where she bunches it up by the toe, the pantyhose, and pulls them up. And all that thought process going into it, for me to just go, you want to just kick that shit off in the bathroom and come out naked? It's fine.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, There's a towel on the floor. Just put that on. Yeah. Maybe we need to invent lingerie glasses so it's like the chick doesn't spend all the time putting them on. They're just glasses with some, like, gauzy mesh in front of them. And it just makes them look like they have satin on them. Because it's the same way. First you feel a lot of pressure to acknowledge lingerie, right? You have to go like, oh, my God, that's beautiful. And then you have to get around that point where all you want her to do is to get rid of the lingerie so you can have sex, right? So it's kind of a weird conceit. It's like if she brought out a big pan of lasagna, you'd go like, oh, my God, that's beautiful. And then you throw it on the ground and fuck. You know what I mean? You wouldn't do that. I mean, that would be rude is what I'm saying.

[Ralph Sutton]

You have to acknowledge it. Also, high heels. When a girl wears high heels in bed, I don't get it.

[Big J Okerson]

I think shoes in general are just for girls to say to each other, nice shoes. I don't think any guy in the world gives a shit about.

[Ralph Sutton]

No, you're way wrong about that. That fetish is like a normish, a different thing.

[Big J Okerson]

A food fetish, a foot fetish would be a whole different thing.

[Ralph Sutton]

But I'm just saying, in general, I'm saying, like. Yeah, but I mean, I just mean the actual comfort of like, like feet. Like a woman's feet hit me a lot when I'm. I'm tall. You know what I mean, Ralph? Like, you imagine like getting dug by a 4 inch heel. Like, all I think about is, not mine.

[Big J Okerson]

She's gonna rip a sheet in my bed. I'm gonna be pissed. That's what I think of when I see heels.

[Ralph Sutton]

I didn't know your answer was going to be so Israeli.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me hit a spot and then we'll get into the news with these guys. Liquid iv. Oh, yeah, this stuff, it's the best. I drank two gallons of water with liquid IV in it yesterday. Because I told you, I got so hungover from the other night. When you push your body, you want to replenish. Get the proper vitamins, the proper nutrients in there. Liquid IV hydration multiplier plus immune support. Maintain and strengthen your immune system. Like I said, I take this stuff when I travel. You go? I go on the road. I do shows sometimes. Have a little cocktail that night and different time zones and the airplane and all that. Always pack it with me in my overnight pack and I always drink this stuff. It is liquid iv, cutting edge blend of vitamin C and Zinc and wellmune, which is super convenient. Single serving packets to help strengthen your immune system. Powered by cellular transport technology to enhance rapid absorption of water and nutrients. Two to three times more hydrating than just water alone. It's liquid iv, right, Dawson?

[Teresa Strasser]

Get your liquid IV hydration multiplier plus immune support in bulk at Costco or order online. And get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code ADAM. And check out this 25% off anything you order when you get better hydration today using promo code [e-mail] all right.

[Adam Carolla]

Let'S take a break. We'll come back and do the news with Big J and Ralph right after this. Give me the news with crack News.

[Stephen Domang]

With Geno grad Breaking viral.

[Adam Carolla]

We're crying protest politics.

[Stephen Domang]

Give me news with Gina Grass stuff. It's on Team Z. Joe Biden.

[Teresa Strasser]

Come now.

[Stephen Domang]

Big news with Gina Gina.

[Teresa Strasser]

The news with Gina Grad.

[Mike August]

Things going on with Tiger woods. Very hush hush. Detectives in LA have determined the cause of the car crash last month, but they say they cannot will not provide any details because of privacy concerns.

[Brian Bishop]

So.

[Mike August]

Wood suffered serious leg injuries as we know. Nearly died when he drove his car off the road, rolled into an embankment. He's currently recovering from multiple surgeries. And the sheriff said it was purely an accident and added there was no evidence of impairment. But the exact cause of the accident cannot be provided unless woods agrees to waive privacy issues.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, I had a thought. I've driven with a couple beers in me in my life. It's happened. Gonna be honest with you. It happens. We go nuts in this city, in all cities now, rightfully so. You know, if you blow over 0.08 or you're under, but you're impaired or whatever, we have a pretty much like a kind of a zero tolerance for drinking and driving. Right? All right, but most people get pulled over for drinking and driving or just driving. It's. That's not because they got in an accident. They just. They're swerving or whatever. Or they get pulled over for something and the cop smells booze on them and you get essentially license taken away, suspended. I mean, it pretty much 10,000, it's over. Under, it's like 10 grand. It's gonna cost you. It's a big deal if you get a dui, especially in California. But if you're totally sober and you're just a fucking horrible driver and you just go speeding off the road, you get nothing. There's no drink, there's no driving. I would make an argument. He's much more dangerous than a guy with a few beers in him. He just doesn't know how to fucking drive.

[Mike August]

Yeah. Didn't they also say, like, there's no sign that he slowed down, you know, upon impact?

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but I mean, just through the luck, the grace of God, there wasn't a guy riding a 10 speed on the fucking side of the road that he would have just destroyed. Now if he killed the guy at the 10 speed, there wouldn't have been a big problem because it would have been like, well, yeah, we found nothing in his system. He wasn't. He wasn't impaired. He's the most dangerous driver of all. A guy can't fucking drive at all. Just goes. Just barreling off the side of the road. I mean, I don't know how drunk he'd have to be to do that, but I'd imagine I wouldn't be capable of doing that no matter how many beers I had.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you think the privacy concern is that it just comes out that he's a shitty driver and that's his private thing that he doesn't want to.

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah. It turns out he is half Asian.

[Adam Carolla]

Ba bang. I was talking to Dr. Drew about this earlier in the day and he's like, he's had multiple back surgeries, he's had some issues with pharmaceuticals. And Drew's thing was it's not even. It's not like you're going to Mexico and getting fentanyl or something. You can just take things that the doctor prescribes. All kind of legal and above the board and everything.

[Mike August]

And my guess is after everything that happened with Kobe and cops sharing the photos, I think that stuff when it comes to a celebrity like this is under lock and key now. They don't wanna go through that lawsuit again.

[Ralph Sutton]

Wouldn't you think it seems very odd timing that it was like right after that documentary came out and drudged everything back up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I don't know, but I think the consensus is maybe he was on something that was legal. That's what it was.

[Big J Okerson]

Also super early in the morning, wasn't it?

[Mike August]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but not like early like all night, Bender early. Like six or seven in the morning or something. I think it was. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Mike August]

Because he had somewhere to be. Like he had an event to be. Yeah. So this footage has come out and we have it. U.S. border Patrol has released a video showing smugglers dropping two little girls onto the U.S. side of the border from on top of this 14 foot wall.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm the worst I realize I'm the worst parent in the world after watching this video and I'll tell you why. Okay. I turned on the news this morning and they were like, they took these young kids and they threw them over the wall like a rag doll. And I was like, huh? And then I watched a tape and I was like, well, he tried to drop them safely. Really throw them over.

[Mike August]

But yes, kind of leaning over and just kind of lets her go. That must be the three year old.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Mike August]

So, yeah, agents rescued these little girls. They're five and three. Tuesday evening in a remote area of the New Mexico Texas border. They're running off right there. The girls.

[Giovanni]

The girls. And then ran the other direction.

[Mike August]

Yeah, they were dropping them. They were from Ecuador, taken to a border patrol station for medical evaluation. And border agents are working with Mexican authorities to find the smugglers who dropped them off. Good luck to them.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I hear it looks like they.

[Big J Okerson]

Threw a bag of food or something down. Also, there was a third thing they tossed over.

[Adam Carolla]

Lunchables.

[Ralph Sutton]

Monsters. Yeah, monsters, Ralph.

[Adam Carolla]

Smugglers. I don't know. At a certain point it's gut check time. It's like, what's your job? I take kids, you know, small enough to handle. Not mine. Then I find fencing. Uh huh. Yeah. I got an A frame ladder. Yeah. What's your job again? I'm not an animal. I don't throw them over the fence, but I'll dangle them. I'm picturing. Remember the jerk? They did cat juggling or something. Was it like you're that you now become that person? Right. Like you are the guy juggles cats while people gamble.

[Big J Okerson]

I would imagine Ecuador. He's heralded as a hero. That's like a beautiful thing that he's doing. Throwing kids into America. I think that's probably a big thing. He's a town hero.

[Mike August]

I think you're right. That's the thing. It's like, what is the story here? Did the parents just say get them over the wall by hook or by crook and here's some money? I mean they're not. Yeah, they're.

[Giovanni]

Chalk one up for the walls. Never stopped anybody crowd.

[Adam Carolla]

No, the deal is people. Well, Biden made a lot of announcements about not sending people back and taking care of people. So they all just went, fuck it, let's.

[Big J Okerson]

Did they say how long from the touchdown to when the they got brought in, the two kids?

[Mike August]

No, but with that surveillance video, I would imagine it wouldn't be. Yeah, they're still waiting.

[Adam Carolla]

And then also like a lot of these Drug cartels are doing the human trafficking stuff, the coyote stuff and the drug cartels, and it's all a big fucking clusterfuck. But there's more than one cartel. And I don't know if they have to compete for business, but I don't.

[Mike August]

Know if they're like, we will not be undersold.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, these chumps, they throw a fucking kid over the fence, you got a compound fracture. I do a move where I do a spin, I'll spin them a little bit, I'll rifle them a little bit, they fucking land like that SpaceX thing landing on that launch pad out in the ocean. It's a thing of beauty if you.

[Ralph Sutton]

Honor the coupons for any other smuggler also, that'll probably help you clean up the market.

[Adam Carolla]

10Th kid's free. Let me punch that car.

[Giovanni]

Well, that brings up an interesting economic question. It can't make sense for the drug smuggling to take kids over because they're taking a kilo of heroin. It's got to be like $50,000 a brick. But like a kid's got to be what, $100 for a 50 pound kid? Doesn't make any financial sense.

[Ralph Sutton]

Now, they kid pretty tight, according to.

[Big J Okerson]

A kid with some heroin and go with the kid.

[Adam Carolla]

Kid yada, the pinata kid. No, the prices are, let's see, something like 15 grand if you're like from China or Africa or something like that. Then it's like eight grand if you're from Nicaragua or something, and like five grand if you're from Mexico. Like they have a floating. They have a floating scale.

[Big J Okerson]

Well versed in human trafficking.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's about all I know. Let's get back to the strip club dj, the bit. Yeah, I mean, Chris can look it up, but the cartels evidently run everything in 20. The cartels aren't just about drugs. They're just about everything. All the shit you don't want. And I heard a price breakdown, and the price breakdown is a lot. They're doing good. Maybe it's like three grand for locals or something. But if you're coming from Central America or like I said, Middle east or China or something like that, they're getting a lot more money in Mexico.

[Big J Okerson]

So they're abducting kids so much and there's so much ransom that banks in Mexico now have ransom, like funds. So you can actually take a loan out for a ransom because they're so commonplace in Mexico now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, bad sign for society.

[Ralph Sutton]

Finally the bank's caught up to the demand.

[Mike August]

Cottage industry.

[Adam Carolla]

Or maybe you could start a ransom account like you do with college, you know what I mean?

[Giovanni]

Like a 529 races.

[Adam Carolla]

Your rich uncle writes the first check for 2,500 bucks when the kids come home from the hospital.

[Ralph Sutton]

My company matches it every year.

[Big J Okerson]

Seeing you again soon as the note just.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I don't know. I mean, you could do worse. Because by the time the kid turned 18, if he wasn't abducted, there'd be a cool 89,000 bucks just sitting in the bank. Right? Fucking better than my parents.

[Ralph Sutton]

Either get you home from military, or you get yourself a nice Buick.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Can you find any prices, Max, man?

[Giovanni]

No, they're not readily available.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm still looking.

[Big J Okerson]

Adam's privy to secret information on the current cost.

[Adam Carolla]

I heard it on a show a few weeks back. Makes sense. I mean, makes sense. You definitely got someone coming in from China or another country that's further away. You'd have to give a local rate, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Gotta be harder to throw that kid over from China. I don't know how you get them in.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, we'll look anyway. Sad and weird.

[Mike August]

Well, speaking of deportation, immigration activists in Chicago are objecting to renaming a Chicago school after Barack Obama. Not an April Fool's joke. I found it the day before District 60 school board member Edgar Castellanos, who says he came to the US as an undocumented child, said, I will not be part of renaming, naming a school after someone who did not and does not represent the undocumented community. Julia Contreras, who runs the shelter for immigrant children at the US Mexico border, said, from the time Barack Obama became president until 2017, when he left, he today is still the highest ranking president with deportations in our nation. If you're removing the name of Thomas Jefferson, one oppressor, the name, she went on to say, oh, Obama is another oppressor, and our families do not want to see that name.

[Adam Carolla]

Babies. We're looking at it. We're trying to get a. We're trying to get a breakdown here of the menu. I put it on Adam's screen. We got. All right, so. All right, hold on a second with that, Chris. I know this story a little bit. Yeah. Anytime the chick takes the microphone and announces she's Latinx or Latinx or whatever, the fucking Latinx, you can stop listening immediately. Yeah.

[Ralph Sutton]

You already know what it's gonna be.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she was calling him the deporter in chief and all that kind of stuff, but it just goes to show we're out woking Everyone is just out woking. We're so fucking woke. We can't have Obama's name on a school anymore. And they always give the rule where it's like he owns slaves or he supported slaves. He looked the other way while his neighbors owned slaves. He didn't actively fight his neighbor with a pitchfork. And now I think we're just at a point where you just go, why can't we use this guy's name? Or why do I have to take down the statue? And they go, cuz he's older than I am. That's the new. That's the new reference point. Now if you're older than whoever's talking, you need to be deplatformed. Max, Matt, you can read it. Do you have it? Yeah. Or I can look at it.

[Giovanni]

Okay, yeah, yeah. Kalen's gonna put it up on the screen.

[Adam Carolla]

There was one at the bottom. Roma. I didn't even know what that one was. Gypsies, I think.

[Ralph Sutton]

You know, Adam taking the statues down in Philadelphia, I thought that was so funny when there was people protecting the statues and the people wanting to pull them down like that. Give and take. I go, who gives a fuck about statues? That even when they're like a statue I've walked by a thousand times in my life, they're like, they're taking down the Columbus statue. Like, was that Columbus? I've never looked at it twice.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Like I wouldn't even know. Just fucking put a different hat on. Yeah.

[Ralph Sutton]

Is that correct? I thought it was George Washington. It's all the same to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Roma. Child bride is $270,000. That sounds expensive, but that's.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. Wait, as a child bride, that seems wide. That's probably.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Person in Canada is $4,879 paid for by pimp or trafficker. Girls from Mozambique, $2.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on, that can't be right.

[Adam Carolla]

That's racist shit right there.

[Giovanni]

Oh, they offer a plus for virgins.

[Mike August]

In Iraq and Cambodia. Teenage girls specifically in Ontario, Canada. Six grand.

[Giovanni]

That's an oddly specific amount.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably the conversion from Canadian children of the. Of the United Kingdom. $25,000. I don't know. I think you gotta find it. This is. There's too much sex on this list.

[Big J Okerson]

For the price of a Roman child bride, you could buy 500,000 girls from Mozambique. Beak. It seems like a much better deal.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Who wouldn't want to fucking harem now? There's going to be fours and fives in there. I'm not going to lie to you. But still, that's what I was.

[Ralph Sutton]

That's what I was thinking.

[Big J Okerson]

You have good odds. If there's half a million of them.

[Ralph Sutton]

You really got to pick. You know, I hate to say this, but you really got to pick by location on some of these, because 500 bucks or a 457 for a 40 year old Korean woman like that could already be going sour. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

I agree with you.

[Ralph Sutton]

That's showing up a little. A little crotchety, you know? I mean, now I'm trying to. Now look, you get a six grand for a French Canadian youngster, that seems like a bargain. They're going to age nice. Good skin.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I don't like the girls from Mozambique. For $2, they don't say age range, which really could be a loophole.

[Ralph Sutton]

Ralph, you could finally take them and finish making your woman skin suit you've been playing for all these years.

[Big J Okerson]

I only need about four more women, so that's a good deal.

[Ralph Sutton]

Eight smackers, dude.

[Adam Carolla]

And also, as far as the skin goes, that one walk through the desert, you know, they're not hydrating properly. That's gonna take its toll. There's gonna be age spots. I agree with Jay. All right. Sorry, Gina. Yes, sad. Threw the kid over the fence.

[Mike August]

Well, more dummies doing their gender reveal and more things going catastrophically wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Mike August]

TMZ report. Yep. TMZ reports that two people died in Mexico when a plane being used for a gender reveal stunt crashed into the sea. As the parents and guests cheered and then realized what happened. I won't. But there is a picture of. You know, you could see it starting. You could see it going. The crash happened this week off the coast of Cancun where the parents hired a plane to fly the big banner that they're having a baby girl. And in the video shared by tmz, the plane's doing a series of stunts over the water before it takes this nose dive straight down, disappears completely. There were four people on board the aircraft. Two of them died. One person died before rescuers could reach the victims. Another died while receiving first aid. Unclear what caused the crash. Again, Mexican authorities.

[Big J Okerson]

And the worst part is they never got to find out the sex of the child.

[Mike August]

Yeah, they just had to tell him like normal people.

[Adam Carolla]

They should have put those kids in the plane and have him drop it off on the other side of the wall just to have the guy do a flyby like in Top Gun. You know, them buzz the tower, or.

[Ralph Sutton]

You see the guy coming down in his parachute and just going yeah, it's a hermaphrodite.

[Adam Carolla]

Did that picture look like the plane just went head into the water? Nose dive, deep dive? How does anyone survive that? No, nobody ever survives those kinds of impacts. That seems weird to me.

[Mike August]

Well, it's written a little weird. It says, so four people on board, Two of them died then. It sounds like a riddle, but it's not. One person died before rescuers could reach the victims. Another died while receiving first aid.

[Giovanni]

Does that mean all four died?

[Adam Carolla]

I think that means all four died, yeah. That is not survivable. Yeah. Wow. But you think it was, like, an American couple? Cause they were in Cancun.

[Mike August]

It is Cancun, so I'm guessing it's a resort, but TMZ didn't say.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. You have to know now what gender reveals. I mean, also good.

[Big J Okerson]

We're living in a very American. I don't see a lot of Mexican people doing gender rev.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that feels very American.

[Big J Okerson]

Feels very American to me.

[Adam Carolla]

So we're now living in a time when it's like half the country is saying, I'm not gonna announce the gender of my child. They will be able to, you know, they shall decide. I don't want to impose that on them. And then the other half is taking an M80 and putting it in, like, pink grapefruit and blowing it up. Like, what the fuck? Have we ever had this much range in terms of birth and gender? We used to all just be right down the middle, right? It's like, I got a boy, I got a girl. Here's a cigar. Now half the fucking celebrities aren't naming the gender of their child because they believe that's somehow grafting on our societal mores or something. And then the other half is blowing.

[Mike August]

Shit up and to tell us the gender of their embryo.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Mike August]

It's crazy.

[Ralph Sutton]

Do we all laugh at this in 50 years or something? Or is this the new. Does it keep going that direction? Like, that whole thing where it's like, yeah, there's 72 genders or whatever. It's like. Or we go at some point going, like, now the. There's, like, trans people. I'm not saying there's not, like, different versions, but I mean, like, when someone. For someone to yell at you for saying, like, this woman over here. And they're like, I don't identify. To argue about that.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, we're fucking nuts. The thing I never get is the pronouns like, they. You want me to call you they?

[Ralph Sutton]

I'll tell you for sure, if I was on a dating thing, Ever one of those dating apps. Apps or anything where I'm accepting, like, you know, friends or some. One of those kind of apps. I would. Anytime the first thing says pronouns and they tell you. It's just. My pronouns are like she, her. I'm just like, I'll never. I'll just.

[Big J Okerson]

I put mine as.

[Ralph Sutton]

I'll never get.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll never get a. Just to throw them off.

[Ralph Sutton]

Yeah. I go, who? What I get. But I mean, to you, just everything's going to be too serious.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God.

[Ralph Sutton]

Already starting from there.

[Adam Carolla]

Full transparency. Obviously, my license does have, like, the weird X for the sex for the gender, but that's only because my son was with me and we were having a goof. You know what I mean? Like, it was funny. Like, we're at the DMV and I was like, they want to know what sex I am or what I answer to, you know, or whatever the fuck it is. And I'm like, oh, well, if they're going to be assholes and offer up all these fucking options, and I've had a dick for almost my whole life, but okay, I'll just fucking. And my son was urging me on, like, he was like, yeah, it'll be funny. You get pulled over. It'll be fucking funny. Goof. So I just goofed on it. Then when I got to the window, there's a whole bunch of additional paperwork I had to do, but I was already in. I was already pot committed on my joke. And so either everyone has to knock it the fuck off or everyone's just got a goof. Everyone's just got to go. I'm answering to they.

[Big J Okerson]

I went to a doctor recently, and on the form it said, what gender were you born? What gender do you identify as, and what gender are you physically? Because it was a doctor.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, so you have to. They had to know all three of those instead of just saying, you know, just. It's crazy. Just insane. I think Jay's wrong. I think Jay, honestly, that it's just going to get more and more separate. If there's going to be 100 genders, I think that's what's going to happen.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, everyone always says to me, like, where are we heading? And I go, half the country's heading to a safe space and the other half's heading to an octagon. That's it. That's what it's gonna be. It's gonna be a bunch of fucking tough mudder ex Marines and seals and shit. Like, there's gonna Be. It's already created more dudes wearing beards, more dudes driving Jeeps. I mean, think about. We've talked about on the show before. It's like, half the cars I see on the road are Jeeps and the other half are Priuses. It's like the. The one group. Because no one wants to get caught in the middle. So, like, the one group's going, I'm not fucking down with all this shit. I'm growing a beard and driving a Jeep. I'm gonna let everyone know my shit.

[Ralph Sutton]

I have to assume also for every, like, one person who's, like, I don't know, somehow, like, changing their gender, like, fixes them, like, you know, I got, like, mentally. And they're able to. And it makes their life happier and. And more power to them. It's great. There's, like, you know, spent their whole life thinking they were wrong, born wrong, and all that, and this can help them. But for every one of those, I just think there's seven psychos. We're just, like, making a rash decision to cut off their. Or, you know, blowing on their thumb till their puss pops a penis or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, just.

[Ralph Sutton]

There's no. It's so cool.

[Big J Okerson]

Medical term.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, I've seen that move where you blow on your thumb and you make your baseball hat go up. Yeah, but I've not seen that live.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what it's based on. That's the same technology.

[Ralph Sutton]

I'm no surgeon, Adam, but.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's bring it home. Gina Grad.

[Mike August]

You got it. I'm Gina Grad. And that's the news.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina. Gina.

[Teresa Strasser]

That was the news with Gina Grad.

[Giovanni]

All right, that is it for this Cruel Classics.

[Adam Carolla]

Hope you guys enjoyed all the clips. Tune in tomorrow for even more Peter North, Big J. Okerson, and another surprise. And get it on.