← Adam Carolla Show
Adam Carolla Show
Phil Rosenthal + Gina and Bryan (Carolla Classics)
04:24:30
#1 ACS #1665 (feat. Rob Cohen, Phil Rosenthal, David Wild, Gina Grad and Bryan Bishop) Recorded 09-22-2015 – Release Date 09-23-2015 #2 ACS #3453 (feat Gina Grad and Bryan Bishop) Recorded 12-14-2022 – Release Date...
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Giovanni
Well, we're on a holiday break, but enjoy Corolla Classics until we return. Welcome to Coral Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast. We play the best moments, highlights, and fans like to click clips from all 15 years of the Adam Carolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics. The ad free archives are exclusively available through Adam Corolla's Substack. All right, for today's clips, we have Adam Carolla Show 1665 featuring Rob Cohen, Phil Rosenthal, David Wilde, Gina Grad, Brian bishop, and some 2015. Hope you guys enjoy. Hey, fans of freedom and open discussion. I'm heading over to Substack and there's an ad free audio and video version of the Adam Carolla show that's going to be waiting there in the near future. You'll even be able to watch ACS Live unedited as we record it. Participate in the show via live chat. That'll be coming up very soon. You'll also get an ad free version of the Adam, Carl and Dr. Drew show. You'll also get an exclusive to my new podcast, Beat it out, where I share unpolished ideas with my comedian buddies. The first series of episodes is gonna be Jay Moore. You'll get all this and more for the low, low price of nine bucks a month. A kittens for all we're going to bring you. Subscribe now@adamcarolla.com substack and I'll see all of you in our new speakeasy called Substack. So I went to the Foo Fighters last night. What? Yeah, that's what my wife said. What? Oh, she didn't go? No, because she was posting video, so I thought she might have gone too. No, I brought Kevin Hansch, whose comment was, did you finally get fed up with Lynette and give her the goon hand? And I said, no, that was the dentist. Oh. Cause she has the bruise on her, She's a little worse for wear. She went to the dentist. She had a bone graft, blah, blah, blah. And looked somewhere between a botched plastic surgery and a botched attempt on her life through a disgruntled ex boyfriend. So certainly not a current husband. Better to stay home and especially not with me. So I took my buddy Kevin Hench. Good guy, works hard, need a little break, loves music. It's great. It's good to go to a show with someone who digs it, you know what I mean? And also, he's a guy wrote the Hammer with and wrote Road Hard with And just. We don't. It's one of those. We don't get enough time together. You don't bro out enough. Yeah. So we were able to bro out. And I was at the Forum, and I forgot that Dave Grohl broke his ankle and was in a walking boot, but not walking, but still rocking in that boot. Built a giant throne. Just went crazy on the guitar from atop the throne, which was adorned with spinning lights and pyrotechnics and stuff, and. And would go out to the end of the catwalk into the middle of the Forum floor, and then. And then pneumatically come back again and then go back out again. And it was. It was sort of fun, Steven. Rocking. Yeah. It was fun to watch a guy just. It's early guys just rock out. Yeah. On top of a recliner in a restaurant, essentially. Yeah. Rocking in a seated position. That's like the litmus test for how well you rock. Like when Billy Idol got in horrible motorcycle accident, whatever, was 1990 or something, he went on tour like, two months later in a cane and like, full on, like, you know, he's Billy. He was peak Billy Idol. Well, this is very. I. As you watch the show and enjoy the Foo Fighters and Pat Smear the guitar player. Pat's a guy, played with Nirvana. If you ever watch, I don't know, Nirvana, MTV Unplugged, and you see the guy who doesn't look like one of the others playing, like, the red, White and blue acoustic guitar. That's. That's Pat who's with the Germs. And Pat's just one of these guys. He's just a. He's just a good guy. It turns out he and his wife live fairly close to where we live. And he's just one. He spends a lot of time on the road, and a lot of time on the road equals him reading books of mine and watching movies and things like that. So I just get these random emails. You know, I haven't talked to him in two years, but, like, I'm in Australia. I've just got done watching Road Hard. Loved it. You know, blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, I do the. Hey, when you're back in town, you know, so invite me to a concert. He reached out. Yeah. We went. Put me on the guest list and let's get together. Yeah, that's how it works. And I'll write another book. So we went out and. No, we went over to his house, brought the Mangria and the wives and the kids and had a nice Afternoon Catching a buz and enjoying. Enjoying the family and the wives. Enjoying the wives. She got a real nice wife and all that. So he invited me and then gave me the, you know, VIP passes and all that kind of parking and all that kind of stuff. So it was really nice. Footnote. The new the Forum's been, like, redone, right? Isn't like it used to be in a. It was in a state of disrepair for many years. It falls on hard times. Yes. And the great Western form of the Lakers supply the home that Jack Kent Cook built, or I think Chick Hearns would say back in the day. Yeah, I think he owned the Lakers, or the four. He may have. Okay. Anyway, I don't know Jack Kent Cook. John Jack Kent. The name sounds familiar. Jack Kent Cook. Yeah. So went to the concert, had that thing that happens at every concert. Walked in through the sort of Forum Club at the bottom, ran into a bunch of radio folks I haven't seen in a million years. Had a beer, turned the other way and ran. And then. No, actually, the handful of ones I like, I. Kevin with Kevin and Bean and all that. Now, I had this moment. You guys. Tell me where you are with this moment. It's la. It's the Foo Fighters. You know, there's going to be some special guests coming up on stage. So Kevin of Kevin and Bean said, do you want to know who's coming out? And my first impulse is always, oh, yeah, for sure. Tell me. And then I thought, why, why, why? Why do I want this? Why do I. It's like at a certain point, everyone wants to open their presents on Christmas Eve. But you know what? It's better. You're cheating yourself. Sleep. Wake up, Go over there and tear them open in the morning in your little jammies and enjoy it. I wouldn't want to know. Unless the only way I would is if it was someone, I wouldn't exactly know who it was. Like, oh, this guy's a really talented. Blah, blah, blah from. From Europe. He's like, oh, well, they didn't tell me. So I know what to kind of expect. But otherwise, I want to be, you know, surprised. Oh, yeah, he owned the Redskins. I forgot about that in the Kings and the Redskins. There you go. Yeah. Kevin of Kevin and Bean. Jack Kent Cook. Of course, Jack. Yeah, yeah, Redskins. Ah, yes. Okay. Yeah. But I knew that wasn't going to happen because no one would say, do you want to know who it is? Because you know who it is. It can't be. The guy plays a sitar from Bangladesh who has nine names you've never heard of? Because that doesn't. So obviously it's somebody I knew. He's sitting on top of a name, and he's dying to tell you that's going to be household namey. Yeah. And I did what I've learned to do now, And I think 15 years ago, I wouldn't want to fucking tell me. But now I just went, no, I don't want to know. I want to enjoy. I want to just go experience it. And. And also, it's kind of fun. I just started sitting there going, when. When's this person coming out? Jack Black came out, so. Oh, yeah, you should have a song. Don't play it yet, but we should have a song that's queued up. Jack Black came out, sung half a Tom Sawyer, and it was fun. He just went running down the stage and sort of mocking Dave Grohl, who's doing everything with a boot on a big walking cast. He went full Jack. Yeah. And. And he was just rocking out the car. Now, before I tell you who this was, I. The thing I love most about Dave, and I ran into his mom backstage, a little bit uncomfortable. Tell you the story there. It's the work ethic. You don't really realize it. I mean, what's the difference between him and everybody else? Yeah. And you go, well, he's a real talented musician. Yeah, there's lots of real talented musicians, and he's a good songwriter. There's a lot of good songwriters, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, you know, when you listen to the Foo Fighters, it's. They're good, solid rock and roll songs, but knowing that you're not sitting there, mind blown, you know, like, what? No, this guy. Lennon and McCartney. No, it's calories burnt. He never stops rocking. And he. In front of 15,000 people on, like, a number of occasions. Like, you could tell he wasn't gonna leave until everyone left satisfied. That's the thing. That's all he has. His reputation is all he has. I mean, I've seen him on a million award shows. I've seen in a million different venues. And I saw him last night. He's not going to take his foot off the accelerator. He. Here is Dave Grohl's greatest fear lament and phobia. It's two people walking back to their car in the parking lot, and someone go, what'd you think? And they go, huh? Yeah, it's pretty good. I mean, he was kind of hobbled, so maybe he wasn't really that into it. Or maybe he's on some pain med or. I mean, obviously he's not young anymore. He's probably getting near 50. He's not Dave Grohl. He's. I mean, it's a good show, but if you're a Foo Fighter fan. But, you know. No, he will not. He cannot go back to his home and see a Tweet that went 6 and a half, seen better mediocre. Can't do it. Can't do it. So he's just going to fucking go. And that's all he does and that's all he did. So great show. And then I'm sitting there waiting for the guest, right? And I got. In addition to Jack Black. It's not. Yeah. Cause Jack Black came out early, did half a song and ran off like a little sprite off the stage. Little appetizer. The first time he said Jacques Black, my mind heard Jack White. Like, that's pretty good. That's a pretty good get. I'd rather see Jack Black sing Tom Sawyer. So I am. Me too. So I am sitting there going, well, half a song. No, that's not what we're talking about. I'm waiting for somebody to come out. And I've seen all the other on tv, the other concerts in the news and stuff, you know, Taylor Swift and all the whatever. So I gotta write down the name I didn't know. All right? So I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, this is la. I mean, we could have anybody in the city pick a letter. Brian Wilson could come out here. But I'm thinking, you know, is it Tom Petty? Is Tom Petty gonna come out here? Brian Wilson would be a huge get. Yeah, but Dave Grohl's Dave Grohl and you play in the Forum and when Dave Grohl says, hey, you want to come sit in? First round draft? Fucking going to do. And then I'm thinking, oh, maybe somebody more interesting like Ben Folds or Robert Cray or somebody of that nature. Someone he likes, somebody's a fan of. Somebody's gonna come tear it up and they're gonna go together on a Bad Finger song or something that I fucking love from the 70s or whatever it is. First out onto the stage comes the Himes. I don't know who the Hymes were. Is it Haim H A I N? Yeah, the Haimes. The Hymes. The Hymes. Who are these chicks? These chicks? 3, 8, 19 year old chicks. Yeah. Coors for this generation. Look, if you're riding out to Palm Springs, super high. And they're on the radio. They're great. Okay. Other than that specific scenario, though, that's all I ever heard of in. All right, so here comes the Haimes. I'm sitting next to Kevin Hench, and I said, who? And he said, they spell it H, E, I, N, whatever. And I'm like, I don't know if it's Hames or Himes or if they're sisters or whatever it is. And I said, well, how do you know? And said, they opened for Taylor Swift and he had to take his daughter there. Whatever. So, okay, so so far, we're kind of.04 in the, you know, special guest department. Again, if you're into Taylor Swift, you know who they are, but if you're me, you don't. And then comes Stevie Nicks. Was it Stevie Nicks from 1972? No, it was Stevie Nicks from 2023. Oh, fuck her. G, like, Tupac style. Was she a hologram? She did a weird thing. It was funny. Now, the guy you should feel sorry for is the lead guitar player for the Foo Fighters, whose name is Escape Taylor. No, he's. Taylor's the drummer. He does some singing and then. And Pat Smear stands on one side and Chris. What? Shiflet. Chris Shifflet stands to the right and Pat Shamir stands to the left. She came out wearing sunglasses, and a certain point after she was done helping out on one song, sort of took the sunglasses off and sort of like, hey, what do I do with it? Like, I don't have a fanny pack or pockets or anything. And she turned around and handed it to the lead guitar player, like, hey, take care of that boy. Good as any roadie. Yeah. Later on. Later on, when she left the stage, she handed the cordless mic to the same guy, like, hey, guitar tech guy or something. I don't know. He's playing guitar in the band, standing on stage. He'd been on stage. He's on the COVID of the album. He'd been on stage for a full two hours playing up until that point. But he's become the assistant, de facto roadie. Yes. When Stevie Nick's personal assistant, up on stage with the. Wear my sunglasses. Take this microphone. It was such a star move. It's like the great. Hey, boy, come here. Where'd I put these? How'd she sound? I said, I. Well, first off, I said to Hanch, she has to fucking complete the trifecta when at the end of the show, she hands him the valet ticket. Yeah. So he's walking out tour bus. Where am I going next? There were probably out of the entire 15,000 people in the forum, there are probably two people that. Beside himself, that noted. I was just staring. And she just turned around and went, here, take this boy. And then, and then when she was done with the song, she's like, ah, I don't know. Here you go, buddy. And he just put her sunglasses on, like the stack of amps. And I don't know what he did with the mic. Sure. I'm sure. I know what he wanted to do with it. Yeah, violate her with it. But power move or is it like a dementia move? She gets up there and she sounds okay, but she's not moving around too good. And it's a little bit sad and not on. You gotta be 70. She got started early and often, but she could be getting close and you know, did. Did a fair bit of drugs back in the day. And she was having trouble when she was. I remember a famous story when she was doing the video with Tom Petty, Stop Dragging My Heart around, she didn't remember the lyrics. She recorded the lyrics like, you know, four months earlier. She had no idea what the lyrics were. So she kind of mumbled her way through this, you know, they suede and whatever. That's what I'm wondering. Because at this point, could she. Does she have the wherewithal to memorize a Foo Fighter song or did she sing one of her songs? What do you think? I don't know. We will get to that. We will get to that in a second. Danielle. Hi. Hi, baby. Hold on. Brian's gonna play a little intro moments, hashtag him all of yours. Capture them forever on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Hey, Danielle. Hey, Gary. Tell Phil and David, let's give me another 10 minutes. See if they can hold it for 10. Hi, Gary. Hi, Gary. Danielle, you sent us a picture. You were at a Foo Fighters concert in Georgia? No, at the Gorge in Washington. George in Gorge. Sorry. At the Gorge in George Washington. Sorry. There's a George Washington? That's great. Get the fuck over yourself. And you snuck the man Gria into a water bottle. Well, we had to. There's a gate before you get from the campground to the front entrance where they take all your bottles and cans. It's impossible not to drink for a two and a half hour period. I'm in the sun. Was that 10 minute walk I got you? No, I love it. And did they bring anybody? Christine McVie, did you come out there? They didn't bring anybody out. He Played for three plus hours and brought nobody out. Nobody out. You dodged a bullet. And was he in the throne? He was. He sat the whole time. And the. But, but, man, that guy can rock from the sitting position. Yes. Best show I've ever seen at the Gorge. And there's been a lot. He should do a. They should do a rock concert film called Taking a Shit with Dave Grohl. And he just sits on a toilet rocking the throne. Rocking the throne with Dave Gro. You fucking never seen a guy rock so hard. So no. No cameos because you're in Washington. But three hours and just a great show, right? It was perfect. Yeah. No special guests or breaks or anything. Yeah. Yeah. Gary Clark Jr. Opened. Yeah. But it was really awesome. Yeah. And he's the kind of guy I would have liked to see step out. Is that a total coincidence that you mentioned Gary Clark or did he open for them? No, I saw. I said Robert Cray, which is his old uncle. Yes, basically. And Adam, I don't know if they did it with you guys either, but did at either show. Did they do the Under Pressure with Taylor singing? Yep, they did Under Pressure with Taylor singing. Taylor was great. Spoke to him backstage for a little while. Very nice guy. Very, very hard. A lot of calories burning. He's my favorite. I decided as a drummer, that is the number one job where you can wear whatever you want. Like, you can. There's a lot of anything. Yeah. I mean, you could go up there in a diaper, barefoot if you wanted. But I mean, there's a lot of jobs where it's like Tommy Lee and just go, yeah, he's a lifeguard. You go, all right. Well, he just. All right. But he has to wear trunks or whatever it is. Or he works at a gas station. Yeah. But he starts to wear jeans and a shirt. You know, drummer is the job where you can. You can put a suit and tie on if you're hermit or Charlie Watts or whatever. Or you can literally just wear nothing or cut offs or one flip flop. Like it is really the. The one job or nothing will ever be said or even commented upon, good or bad or anything. And you should wear whatever you want. Yeah. You're immune. You're immune. Yeah. Taylor was great. That was fun. Talked to him and Pat his wife backstage for a while. And sweet. Super sweet guy. Everyone in the band's really nice when he's up there wailing on those drums. And I mean this in the nicest possible way. He is Animal from the Muppets. Yeah. I Just love him for him. It's so visceral. And we're having that talk backstage. But anyway, Danielle. Yeah? How's the Mangria treating you? Awesome. I love it. Good answer, baby. All right, what you guys can do is they can hashtag it Mangrove moment name. Lynette will find it and see it and get back to you and. And all that good stuff. Thanks, baby doll. Thank you. Love that. Yeah. Mangria moments. All right, so Heim or Hamer, the chick band gets up there, and that's fine, but doesn't not. Neither here nor there for. For me, because I don't know who they are. And then Stevie takes the stage, handing her purse, sunglasses, hard candies, and everything to lead guitar player and Foo Fighters. And they do Stop Dragging My heart around. Oh, and they do a nice job of it. And it's really. It's hard to fail up there because you have such a great wall of rock just going on. You have another guitar player. There's a guy on the keyboards. Dave's doing Dave, and Taylor's doing Taylor and Pat's doing Pat. And you don't have to be, you know, you don't have to be as in tune or as in anything. It's just. It's a moment. There's a musical net there. Right. And, you know, I. I like that song. I don't love that song. It's. It's not as. It's a good song. It's a little. I like a little. Looking for a little more up tempo. I'm with you. And that's one song. And then we slide into the other song, which was the only song that Stevie basically just did solo. I was in my car thinking about how much I hate this song the other day and never really articulated it. How much like, there's a Fleetwood Band. Is Fleetwood Max a good band? With a handful of songs I hate. And for some reason, those get the spotlight shining them quite a bit by. Yeah, this. This is one of those. First off, any song that says with your silver spoon, I can't. I hate silver spoon anything songs. But I just remember thinking how much I hate this song because I was explaining Kevin Hansch, it's not really a song. It's just sort of a thing. Yeah, there's nothing. I couldn't. I really. If you gave me a steno pad and a thousand golf pencils, I couldn't come up with this song. Like when they said when I was in Robert Cray's Coming out or Ben Folk Colts is coming out mode. Expectations were surging. This song would have been. Oh, no. Yeah. By the way, why would you do that to a live Worth the crescendo. We're two hours and ten minutes into a two and a half hour. We're at the end. This is it. This is. This is the big. And you have to assume she requested this. They didn't ask her to sing this song. I would have rather heard row your boat in the round. Now the great news. Dave Grohl is the bacon of rock and roll. Wrap it around anything and it tastes delicious. Make chicken liver taste like beef tenderloin. You know, dog his vitamins with some bacon. Yeah. There's nothing. He. Can't he just wrap a little. Dave Grohl. Yeah. I don't hate this song. I probably heard it 5% as often as you. I didn't grow up in the song. No, you don't hate this song. But what is sort of like. I would not go to the map for this. Yeah. No, it's not. It's not. It's not grading a clone and annoying like don't you want me baby or something like this. You know, one of those shitty 80s songs. It just. But there's nothing. It perpetually taxes like. Push off from the gate, would you. It idles. No. And I'm not even saying. This is. This isn't bad. If you're smoking a little weed and you're hanging out with some friends and you guys are having a. You got a glass of wine in your hand. But this is a concert, not crescendo. We're blowing the roof off this place. I couldn't think of a word. This is to get the crowd to leave. This is to disperse a rowdy crowd. You know, while they're telling this. Let's listen. Listen. What? The refrain is go home, go home. Pick up the pieces and go home, go home. She was handing her keys and chapstick to the lead guitar player right now. I'm trying to keep up here, sweetie. You know what the equivalent is? I think you know how you're always saying jamming. Worst Bob Marley song ever. This is the equivalent. Goldust woman is the equivalent to jammin. Yeah. It just never goes anywhere. I'll take plenty of. I'd rather hear Tusk. Jane. I'd rather have her come up there and not sing Tusk. You don't love Tusk with the USC marching. I'm fine. You better start with many Fleetwood Mac songs, Goldust woman. I just remember hearing. I just remember I have A list of songs I never stopped complaining about. I never really put it in my pantheon of songs I never stopped complaining about. And I thought. Made a mental note like, got to put that in there. And that's. That's when my fate was sealed, I think right there. So the show was great. Sounds like a special guest. It's better that you didn't know because you still got to live with all that anticipation as opposed to. Yeah, true. Never thought Gold dust woman. In a million years out there, you could have been hoping for, you know, the chain or something. There's a million Fleetwood Mac songs that would have been taken fucking a rock version of Gypsy. I really would have. Anyway, let's see, though. And I went backstage, saw a big celeb I hadn't seen in a while. I'll tell you about that. All right. So went backstage Pat and said hi to Pat and Taylor. Dave was probably rehydrating with an IV and his foot in a sling or something, because I was saying this to Dr. Drew earlier. I saw him today. But I said, the number one thing doctors tell you, which is always fucking horrible, is no matter how you injure yourself, they go, well, no more of that for six months or whatever it is, or knock it off. Like, you tell them you could be a professional snowboarder, and they just go, well, no more snowboarding. And you're like, yeah, that's great. Except for I have to. I have to do it. That's that. So Dave heard himself rocking out, and the doctor said, well, no more rocking for you for a while. And the guy probably had pre sold tens of thousands of tickets. And I can't be exaggerating. Tens of thousands of tickets. Many families were counting on that tour. Not just the band they're probably taking care of. He feels like the roadies and the techs and everybody else. It's an industry. And no, he cannot take seven weeks to convalesce. He can, but nobody else can. So he got the throne made with the weird kicker for the leg, and he went and rocked out. He was rehydrating. I was talking to Pat and Taylor and all that stuff. Pat was funny. I was always nice. It's funny when you see a guy. I took a couple of pictures of the concert, Gary, which you may have. I'll throw up there. They're not fantastic. Just shots from where we're sitting. It just sort of. You could see Dave out there in the thing, but ran into Pat. Pat's like, I was thinking about you up there. You are and he said, yeah, I want to know if you're coming or not. I want to know where you were like, oh, see, I didn't see you before that. I was like, well, I didn't want to come in before and bug you. I thought we'd see you after. Well, I was thinking about you. I was like, oh, that's nice. Very comfortable. But it's very true. I've done a million shows where I've went like, my stepsister and her kids get in this one. Are we? Yes. You think about things every once in a while. Pat was doing that, and I talking to Taylor, and it was all very nice. And then I looked across the room and saw a young gal had not seen in a long time in her tall drink of water for her husband and Josh Duhamel and Fergalicious over there. Ooh, Fergie sighting. Yeah. And it was funny. I kept looking up, and she was looking at me, and I was like, oh, she's looking at me for. And then I sort of realized we had a little moment at a party. I'm sorry, what? Many years ago, Fergie used to be in a band. Band was called Wild Orchid. Oh, yeah. They used to come on to Loveline on MTV years ago. We never consummated anything. No, we never. I've never. We never even. We shook hands. But there was a little moment at a party where I was seeing Lynette at the time, but there was a little moment where it couldn't shake it ahead. We're having a conversation. Okay, enough said. Fine. I took the pieces and landed with that Duomo character. Yeah. Sloppy seconds for a model. And it was the isolation process, and I only know it. I would have watched it from my memory, but Lynette, like, got in between at some point, went like, hey, back off. That's how I remember. It was. It was. It had been witnessed by another human being. But it actually happened, right? Yeah, but super sweet Josh. Josh is one of the nicest. He's a regular dude. Super regular. He was there with his regular dude friends and had nice conversation, and she was real sweet. We just had a nice, nice time back there. And. Yeah. When you. You. The pictures that I can show you is one with the throne. That's awesome. Out at the end of the catwalk in the middle of everything. And then it would retract and go back to where the stage and everyone else was as wells. And that's a sort of bad picture of the throne there. You said you had audio of Jack Black. No, I. Somebody must. I think Lynette did, actually. Oh, maybe Lynette did. No, I try to take a picture. I took a picture with me and Fergie just so I could make my daughter cry. That was backstage, too. Yeah, that was backstage. But I really don't want to be one of the people that's holding the camera over my head for the entire show. I usually just shut my phone and put it away. But I. I do realize that there's a certain responsibility for you guys that are listening, which is when I'm trying to explain, hey, there's this throne, and it goes to the end of the thing. I just. I'll take a picture of it just so you kind of know when you don't have to do diligence. But that's. That's about as far as I'm. I'm getting with it. I see people texting and people filming the entire thing. What? I hate that. Because you're supposed to. You're there. You're a fan of the band or the artist or the. Whatever the music. Get lost in the music. Don't worry about, like, oh, I got to get a good shot here. I got to make sure. Put the phone away. Turn the phone off. Well, not only that, but you go to these kids events and they're doing the play or they're doing this skip rope competition or whatever it is. You have the moms and dads holding the tablets in front of their face, and they can see the image of what their kid is doing. If it's Lynette, it's on its side, but they can see what the kid is doing on the tablet. And then you realize the only version of this you've ever experienced is via the screen. Now, memory is going to be that tablet. Well, later on, you can watch it on your TV at home, but you're still going to be watching on a screen. You're never physically there. And then it's like, well, we're at Texas Stadium, staring up at the big screen, watching the winning touchdown. Or don't. Especially the concert. Don't you want to. Whether it's a concert or your kid's recital, don't you want to see. You were there. Of course. Don't they want to look out into the small auditorium if it's the kids recital, and see daddy preening rather than daddy holding a lunchbox over his head? You know what I'm saying? Of course. And especially if it's a big concert, you might as well throw your phone away. Because you're gonna go home and the audio's not gonna be as good, the video's not gonna be as good. Take a picture, remember it, and watch the show. Why or why do you even need to be there? Like, just go do the pay per view and watch the fucking thing. Filmed with eight cameras professionally. On your couch. Yeah, on your couch. All right, real quick. And we'll get to Phil and David Wild, who are on the phone. ZipRecruiter, baby. You're only as good as the people you hire. Posting jobs in one place, not good enough in 2015 or in Stevie Nicks is 2023. Either way. Yep. You find quality candidates. Zip recruiter post to over 100 job sites with one click, and then within 24 hours, watch candidates roll in. Used by over 400,000 businesses. Rick says he had replies from highly qualified individuals within 24 hours. Rick said that? That's Rick. But you know Rick. If Rick says it. Well, it could have been 25 hours with Rick. Either way, though, you realize it's pretty darn quick. Yeah, it's a lot quick, Rick. Yeah. He said he would highly recommend the service to anyone wanting to expand their business. And when Rick tells you that. Yeah. Take it to the bank. Take it to the bank. Try ZipRecruiter. Do it today. Go to ZipRecruiter.com. adam. That's ZipRecruiter.com, adam. ZipRecruiter.com Adam. Ran into Dave Grohl's mom. Yeah. What? How did you know who she was? Yeah, she knew who I was. Okay. How do you like them apples? Dave grohl's mom. Hello, Mrs. Grohl, if you're listening that you said it was uncomfortable. Well, it wasn't uncomfortable, but I'll tell you the story. It's an old Loveline story. We'll rehash it in a second. So Dave's on line one, and Phil's on line two. Is that. Yep. They're in separate cities. Oh, they're in separate cities. Can I talk to them at the same time? You can. So hit one twice so that the light goes solid. All right. And then hit two. Jesus. Hey, Dave. Phil. Hello, Adam. Hey, man. There you go. Phil Rosenthal. Happy Yom Kippur, Adam. I know. I never stopped celebrating. Good yuntif, everybody. All right, so there's a couple things. It's all have what Phil's having, which I watched, I loved. And you've never. No, I mean, it's great to see a guy doing his muse, pursuing his muse. I mean, yeah, you'll never be better at anything, filmed or not, than when you're doing what you want to do. Versus, here's some jokes some other guy wrote. We'll put them in a teleprompter, spit them out at the camera. So mazel tov, as your people would say on this holy day. Thank you, Adam. You're doing it, too. Look at you. It premieres. Thank you. Premieres Monday, September 28, on PBS. And again, it's Phil traveling, reconnecting with families, and some of the greatest food in the world. And it's the kind of show you would do if you had your choice to do a show and loved food and loved travel, like Phil does. Adam, it's so good. I cried a couple times. And not just at the food. You'll laugh, you'll cry. Yeah, it's. Phil has a very personal approach to humor and likes the family. Of course, everyone Loves Raymond. Everyone knows that. But, I mean, starts by talking about going through Europe in his early 20s, hooking up with an Italian couple, and then going back 30 years later and reconnecting with them, who now are running a bakery. And it just. It's touching, it's fun, it's funny. And the food is just calorie porn. Yeah, exactly. Also, naked lunch. Now, what is this one, David? This is a. They announced today, it came out that we're doing a pilot for. With Fandango for a sort of a future viral smash talk show, which is basically, Phil and I have lunch all the time at Farmer's Market, and we bring different people, and we decided to make it a legitimate work expense by filming it and making it into a show. And who do you have lined up? I know we're not up and running yet, but some names of some folks and some friends you'll call in? Well, if we get to you, you know we're in trouble. That's what I always say. Yep. I don't really know anybody, so it might be hard. Well, you at least got Ray Romano and Norman Lear and half the cool people I see floating around your pizz parties. He's being so sick of them. If nothing else, it'll be LL Cool J and Ray Romano for the pilot. We'll see. Hey, Phil, are you back east now? I'm in New York. I'm looking at Central Park. It's very beautiful. And I'm here just as the Pope is arriving to really screw up my trap. Is the. Is the weather good over there? Because I'm coming out On Monday. Oh, yeah. Oh, you might see me. I'd love to see some pizza. I love. We had the most romantic date ever. We walked the best man date of my life. We got pizza, then we got gelato, Then we walked on the raised parkway there. It's like a scene from Manhattan. The High Line. The High Line. It was awesome. Are you gonna not mention that Adam reached over for my hand on a couple of occasions? Don't mention that. Yeah. Did. Did you. Are you gonna be around on Monday? I will. That's the day the show premieres, so I might have a couple of appointments. I think I'm doing the Today show. You can see me on the Today show that morning. How about that? Wake up with Phil. I'm gonna do Stern that morning. I'll tell you what. Let's really mix things up. You plug my Paul Newman documentary on the Today show, and then I will plug. I'll have what Phil's having on Stern show just to really mix things up. How much time do you get on the Stern show? They're doing the full monthly with you, right? They do the whole. They have a. Gary told me they have a guest booked. It was a little bit last minute, but I'll get a half hour from maybe 7:30 to 8 or something like that. I think I get four minutes. All right, so I'll. You go nuts then, unplugging this. Winning the racing life of Paul Newman. And I'll go three and a quarter on you. And I'll. Out of my four. I'll work in. I'll have what Phil's having on three or four occasions. Yeah, and, Adam, I'll be in New York tomorrow, leaving tomorrow too. And I'll try to get the pope to get up to speed on all the plugs that need to be done. Please, if you. If you could. And how. David, how long are you gonna be there? I will be there just through Saturday. I will not see you. But you guys have a naked lunch without me. All right? So thanks. So, Phil, it'll be a date for Monday. Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna set aside time. We're gonna go for pizza. All right, Very good. Again, naked lunch will keep you posted with that. What people should do. What should they do with naked lunch? Is there anything to do at this point? It's Fandango. It'll be online at some point. Right. Follow. Yeah, sign up with Fandango and we'll be tweeting about it at Phil Rosenthal and at Wild about us and pbs.org what? Phil's having a really fun show. And again, his heart couldn't be further into this beautifully done show. It's a travelogue with all the greatest food in the world and some cool family stories as well. All right, Phil, I'll hit you up. David. We'll talk soon. Goodbye, everybody. Thank you. Nicest guy. He's the nicest guy. He's very agreeable. Is he literally the nicest guy on the planet? Look, a mensch. I will say this, and when I say it, I'll be talking to myself half the time. First off, if you just act nice all the time, you just become that you're just a nice guy. I don't. It's like saying, is he really clean or is he just shower three times a day? And it's like, I don't know. He showers three times. He's the life. What you are when you do that, when you're always in a good mood, when you're always upbeat, when you're always friendly. Maybe you're the world's off worst person and you're horrible at being a bad person. Or. I don't know. Phil is horrible being a bad person because if every once in a while, he'll either criticize something or tell you something's horrible but does it with a smile, yeah, he'll laugh about it. Like, that's awful. And it's like, Phil, you don't seem like you really hate it. And also, why not? He did his show. He made a lot of money. He loves his family. He loves travel, he loves food, and he is out doing what he wants to do. He's not. Can't complain, going to work at a sewage treatment plant in El Monte every day. He would still probably be one of the happier workers there. But he's not fishing fucking tampons out of filters all day. He's going to New York and eating pizza. So he should be in a good mood. And we should all take a page out of Phil Rosenthal's book and match. So we'll tell Matt. Write that down. I'll find some pizza time with Phil. All right, so let's see. Ah. So I went backstage. One of the first people I ran into was Dave Grohl's mom, who came right up to me and said, hey, Adam. And I said, hey, Dave Grohl's mom? She said, yep. And I said, yeah, I know you. I said, yeah? She said, yeah, because you live. You lived across the street from my. For my daughter. And then I did that thing where it's like, oh, we should dedicate a little daughter time in here because otherwise it's going to be all hey, all Dave talk, all Dave talk all the time, you know. So I did that thing where it's like, oh, what'd she do? She blah blah. That sounds great, I must be proud of her. But try to get a little over compensation daughter talk in there. And then it reminded me of the story where I ran into Dave. And I'm sure Dave will tell the story differently and this is how time works. Neither one of us is lying. But I think I ran into him at the K Roc's acoustic Christmas circa 2001, maybe 2000. And I said hey Dave or something, he's a really friendly guy. And I think I said to him, where do you. I think he was living in Washington or Seattle, Washington or somewhere at that time. And I said, where do you stay when you're in town? And he said, I stay at my sister's house. And I got into one of those. Oh, where's? She's out in the Valley. I'm like, oh, where? She's on whatever street. Oh, I said I got a place there. Oh really? What's her address? I think she's crossed. I think she lives. Is it the house with the wood thing and the thing and the thing? Yeah, yeah. Sister lives across the street from the party house back in the day. Familiar with. I'd never been there, but yeah, I invited any party. Don't tell BB party. The party house was built because I lived in a house up in the hills that I liked as a sort of bachelor. But I didn't have a swimming pool, didn't have a basketball hoop on the side of the hill, which was nice, but I like building and I like property and I said I want a place where I'll hang out. And by the way, as a guy who was poor his entire life, never had a basketball hoop or fucking dog or swimming pool or anything. I'm fucking, I earned it. So I built this old ranch house, I refurbished it, put a big basketball hoop back there and had Saturday games with guys and stuff. Who by the way had no problem throwing an elbow into my sternum, knocking me down, me saying charge. And then yelling you're fucking pussy. And slamming the ball down and walking back to the end of my basketball court and then later on announcing where's the barbecue And I'm gonna take a little dip in the pool. You really are just another guy to them. I do love how guys just a regular Guy would actually be like, interns from the main. Like, literally slammed the ball down. Fucking pussy. As I was taking the ball out, like, wow. Nice. Okay. Anyway, you really weren't every man. I. So I was over at the party house the day after. Like, the weenie? No, the acoustic Christmas. And I thought, all right, well, Dave's over there asleep. And we talked about it the other day and noon. It's been long enough. I'm not gonna go throw a rock on his window at 8:45 in the morning. But I think we're into, like, 12:30 or 1. Maybe go tap on the door, see what happens. See what rock and roll looks like at am. And I tapped on the door and a fairly disheveled hot blonde chick answered the door. And I was like, is Dave here? He's sleeping. I'm like, okay. And again, it was 12. And I went, all right, well, tell him. His neighbor Adam came by his sister's house, and she's like, yeah, all right. She shut the door. And later on, we were doing Loveline that night, and I was like, yeah, I went to girl's house and one of those floozies answered the door. Well, you know, it's rock and roll. You know, blonde hair and disheveled. All disheveled. Not rocking out last night. Foo Fighters T shirt. Not from this tour, but the last tour. Yeah, you know, I did that. It was his wife. And I don't know if they're married at the time, but they're married now, and they were getting married or something. So I don't. I was trying to explain that floozy was a term of endearment. Yeah. How'd that go? Not good. What was the sense of humor rating on that with the family? With the Grohls? Not high. Not high. I don't know how it all ended up. I think Dave came on Loveline, and maybe we had a laugh about it or maybe Dave. We didn't have that. Seems pretty low on the rewriting. Pretty low on the scale. I can't remember. But he's a nice guy, and I think it all turned out pretty good. But as I was Talking to Grohl, Mrs. Grohl, I was trying to wonder if that's part of the story. How much of this story did she know? Or did she just know the part about living next door? So I just kept it under my cap. Well, when she said something to you, did she say, hi, Adam or, hi, Adam? No, she was friendly. Hello, Adam. Exactly. Hello, Newman. Thought I was neighbors with her daughter and didn't realize. I don't think she knew the floozy part. I don't think she knew the I didn't look part. Yeah. Can I flood a theory to you pertaining to Dave Grohl? It's about something you mentioned earlier. I want your thoughts on this. Hold on. Back off, gold dust woman. I'm talking here. Yeah, go ahead. That song does Dave Grohl. Okay. You mentioned he was super high motor. He has the energy. He obviously is super talented. He's a great songwriter. He's a great musician. Is he also a. Because he was in Nirvana and I think he replaced a drummer at the last minute before they kind of blew up. Is he a clubhouse guy like they say in baseball? Like a guy that it makes extra sense to have him on the roster because they're good in the clubhouse. They're glue. You know what I mean? They're. They keep the people's. They're good to have around you, like being around them. Like, is he a clubhouse guy? Well, I mean, obviously he's talented, but you're saying a lot of people are talented. You know, there's. There's something extra that makes you over the hump in terms of, you know, super famous or super successful or whatever. His motor is, is that thing. But, you know, band is a family of a lot of many people that has to travel. And it's pretty easy for everyone to get on everyone's last nerve pretty quickly in that environment, as we've seen time and time again. I don't. It's cliche for a reason. Eddie Van Halen and Sammy Hagar are playing darts anywhere right now over pint. It's real easy. And he has to be the lead singer, but he also has to be, you know, Henry Kissinger, too, and sort of den mom and keep everyone together and make. Make everyone happy and all the wives feel good and all the whole. Now there's kids involved and all that kind of stuff. And that's part of that magic, I think of is. Is keeping everybody. Everything's copacetic. Everyone's together. No one's coming and going and leaving. And, you know, it's the Adam Carolla role of. Of the band. Yeah, shut up. Make sure everyone's on the. On a copacetic. Well, what I'm saying is, yes, theoretically, he, you know, you talk to Pat Smear after the show, it's like he's happy. Yeah. And he's. You know, they're going back out on the road and then they're coming back to Anaheim at some point and we'll see him there. And no, you know, it's real easy for those kind of guys to go real fast, you know. Yeah. Well, his highness is in the next room, you know, picking the green MMs out. Yeah, right. Yeah. You want to say hi to him? Good luck. Nobody ever said Dave's Dave. Nobody said Dave's Dave. All right. All right. That's Adam Krullishow, 1665. Coming up next, we have the 16th annual ACE Awards. Adam Kirlish, 3453, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop. December of 2022, the final ACE Awards with Gina and Brian. All right, New Year's resolution. Vow to eat healthier. But what about your beloved pets and their nutrition? Yeah, you're doing better. But they're getting a bunch of dried up old kibble. Dr. Dennis Black created rough greens and meow greens to bring their dead food back to life with live vitamins and minerals, probiotics, enzymes, omega oils, antioxidants and more. See, pet food is dead food. And eat dead food, soon enough you're going to join it. You need to bring it to life all by the way in a tasty formula your dog or cat will love. It'll improve their coat digestion, energy and mean less vet bills. I've been doing this with Phil holding the sack right now. Vita Smart. You don't have to buy food and keep it in the refrigerator. You just sprinkle this on top of the food you're currently serving your dog or your cat. Get a Jumpstart trial bag. It's normally 20 bucks. It's free with the promo code Adam. You just cover shipping green. It's a free Jumpstart trial bag. That's it. Just go to ruffgreens.com use the code ADAM. Try it out for free. Your dog's going to love it. And you'll notice the difference quickly in your dog's vigor and health. Ruff greens so good your pet will ask for it by name. From the historic Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, it's the 2022 ACE Awards, celebrating the very best of the Adam Carolla show this year featuring trophy girl Gina Grad and seat filler bald Brian. And now your host, Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but the other mandate. You get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend all year long. We love that about you. Right, Gina Grad? That's right. Handball, Brian. That's right. This is our 13th. I ask every year, but I. I never couldn't quite figure it out. But we are heading into the 14th year of doing this. I mean, when we come back from Christmas break, it's a matter of two months, and we're 14 years. Holy crap. I never thought I'd do anything longer than Loveline, but here we are. Here we are. It's all because of the listeners. All because you guys listen and share and enjoy and interact and co. Mingle and show up at the events and do all that that makes this operation. So thank you guys for all that. Favorite show of the year. It's the ACE Awards, the lightest lifting and the most drinking show of the year. I'm going to sit down for the first time this year. Same. I got some nog here. I've never seen a heavier pour of eggnogs. Well, there are a few ice cubes floating in there, so. A good cow gave her life for that. Yes. But the homemade nog from yesterday's show, which is unbelievable. So I got that. Everyone's got their champagne. The gift. Oh, cheers. Sorry, I shouldn't do that. Clink, clink, and clink. Another great year. Yeah. So I'll be heading off to Tucson today and doing shows tonight and then a couple shows. We'll see you guys at the Improv in Tempe. So we'll do more and you can say hi to us and come on out. We always hang out after the show and sign and take pictures, and everyone's very generous with their time, so. So we got that coming up. We got the gift exchange. Yes. We have gifts. I have your gifts coming, sadly, but they might show up during the show, so. Oh, they're on. She's running. I guess I'll go first. I gave everyone the same thing except for you to get a little extra. So actually, I'm gonna take the red ones away from you. Oh, all right. And you guys, everyone opened the white gifts. There's just two of them for everybody. During the course of last year, I use the shit out of my spurtle. Oh, good already. Remember when I talked about these? A life hammer. Okay, so everyone gets a life hammer that you can bang out your window and cut your seatbelt because I want you all to be with us for a long time. And then there's another gift in there for everybody because I didn't know what to get. So everybody. I always wanted a life hammer. Well, now you have one. But I also feel like you just upped my chance of going into A mire at night and my automobile by 7,000%. And I swear to God, I'm gonna duct tape this thing to the top of my dash because you know my theory. My last words into a cell phone are going to be, where the fuck is that hand? I put it. And then someone will go, I put it in the trunk. And then that'll be. It stays where it's supposed to be. And then that'll be. Because you're all guys. And I don't know what to get everyone else. Got. Everyone also got a multi tool. Just because who doesn't want a multi tool? Everyone needs one. This will go next to the life hammer in the trunk of the car. Now the two presents. Well, Adam got two, Brian got one. You're welcome. This is a little bit of a dig, but also you can use it. This is a reminder. Just because I know Brian likes socks. I got on these. But a reminder to Adam to do his 12 hour walk. Oh, did you get me the darn. I got you the darn Tough roll socks. I swear to God, I've thought about that 26 times. Well, now you don't have to think about it. I'm going to take a pair of those socks. I'm gonna take that walk. These are the very fancy socks that Vinny said I could wear for 12 hours New York. In a matter of days, these will be. Oh, my God. Oh, that is. That is perfect. It's the antithesis of a thoughtful gift because. And it is because you're not known for that. It's not an expensive gift. It's just a gift that I really want and would have been way too lazy to go online, find, order, receive, and take my 12 hour walk. I would have doubled up on some shorty Hanesides. I'm so glad. And the last little thing for you, just as another just to remind you to go on your walk, is just one of those little. Instead of the stainless steel canteens that we're all sick of, this is the bag one. It's just a water bag that you can carabine to your little belt loop. Sustainable. Yeah. So instead of carrying a big heavy water bottle, it's just a little water bag. Beautiful collapsible silicone water bottle. Holds up to, I think 36. Good for filth. Yeah. Yeah. Good for filth too. So go on your walk and everybody keep yourself from drowning in love. It. I'm ready to go. And now I'm locked and loaded. And I cannot disappoint Brian. Did you have something I wrote down what I think it is, and I hope I'm right. I think Gina is gonna be right, because this something came earlier in the year, and as soon as I mentioned it, no one had even heard of this thing. I was like, well, I know what my gift is for everyone, so this is something everyone should have. Yes, this is what I wanted. Turn the battery on. Down below. It's the picnic table fly getawayer. Oh, it's not one of those Dan Dunn cocksuckers kind of. Oh, here it is. Yeah, it could be. Yeah. I put batteries in all of them. Wait, what are my batteries? Oh, my God. Hold on. Can I. Yeah, I'll turn on. It's got a. It stands up about a foot tall. It looks collapsible. It is. Yeah, because it's sort of telescopic that way. Keep the flies away. Plus, that reflective stuff on the tip confuses the fly. Yeah. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Thank you. This is. This is awesome. And, yeah, I said when I did catch a contractor, we'd be in the bowels of hell. And Corona And July is 110 degrees. And they would always lay out craft service, and they had great craft service. They would lay it all out, and everyone would show up, and there'd just be flies over everything. And then you get the net thing. Then that thing's okay. But, A, you have to get it. B, you have to work it, and then you have to put it back on it, and it just never. And a determined fly will find a way. Yes. This is awesome. It's gonna change your life come summertime. No flies anywhere. Do they have a radius? Like, if you were at a banquet outside, would you get one of these for every five foot of table? Or some version of that. Restaurants I've seen these at, for example, in like, La Quinta or Palm Springs or whatever, have one per table. Per four top. Yeah. So they. They go beyond the. Just the radius of the blades. Yeah. I don't know if you guys heard, but not too long ago, I was in Maui and at Monkey Pod, this restaurant, every table had those in the middle. Those are great. It's amazing that it took this long for us to figure this. This thing out, but it's great. As you can tell, super flimsy. They're gonna keep the flies. You get your finger in there. Yeah. You won't lose it. Lose a hand. Thank you. Thank you. Very thoughtful. Thank you. Chris. My God, Chris gave me a nice. And he gave me a nice little gift for my Walk. Yeah. You're welcome. Thank you. Wow. It's exactly what I wanted. Now, Chris, I ask every year, Is this our 12th? Is this our 13th? Did we do one the first year? Beautiful fanny pack. We did not do one the first year of the podcast. We have been doing it since the radio show in 2006. Oh, and then we took a year off for the first. When you started the podcast, there was no ACE Awards that year. Yeah, I believe the ACE Awards on the podcast podcast start 2011, right? Oh, 2011. 2010, more likely. 2010, I think more like. I mean, I guess if we did it the second year, but I can't say for sure either. Well, we'll figure it out either way. It's our 12th, maybe our 13th, maybe our 16th. It's our bar Mitzvah episode. It's a great show because most the clips aren't selected by me, and I, the way I'm wired, have no recollection oftentimes of some of these conversations. Ran jokes, reenactments, what have you. So we'll start. It is a great show. I think Brusque said it best. It's a great show, a lot of fun. You remember what he was highlighting in there? Vegas, right? Yeah. First Vegas Live show. Yeah. Real hype, man. Yeah, yeah. During the commercials. The guy's got to hype it up. He came in and he said, what again? Ryan? He was the one. He was like, you gotta hype it up. You know, you're downplaying it. Do it like this. This. It's a great show. A lot of fun. Oh, my God. All right, our first category. This is the 16th one you guys have ever done. We've done as a show. Yeah. So we done. We did three. Three in the radio show, and then we started 2010. Did we do three at the radio show? Because we would have done, oh, 6, 07 and 08. 2011. The description says that's. That's our fifth annual ACE Awards, and that was 2011. And then after we did it in 2008, we all got fired. Yeah, that's right. Learned our lesson, all right. But we landed on our feet. And our first announcer. First category is Best Impression Short Form. The nominees for Best Impression Short form are. Bill. Bill Bellamy. Like. Like Dave Chappelle. Like, the funny thing about Dave is Dave didn't grow up poor like that. Right. And it's so funny because you would think that Dave did, like, initially. Like, you'd be like, dave must have came from Hill. But he was. I never forget when he's like, man, I'm just gonna say this. I'm privileged. My mom's dad's educators. Oh, my God, That's a hell of a Chappelle. Adam Ray, I got a quick Batman impression. Ready? Here's Batman trying to find the clitoris. Ready? Where is she? Where is she? Jo Koy. I met Chelsea right when I moved to LA. And what, what year I moved to LA at like 2001. Ish. 2002. And then I met Chelsea, like 2003 at the Laugh Factory. And stand up. Yeah, she was doing Santa. She wasn't who she was now. I was opening for John Lovitz on a Wednesday night. He had like, the John Lovitz Wednesday night show. And one day he was like, hey, I'm going to bring Chelsea Handler. She's gonna open. She's gonna open for us. And she's hysterical. She's my only friend on MySpace. Take a look. That was awesome. Love it. Paul. Big show. White. I'll. I'll do you a Hulk impersonation and I'll throw to what I'm excited about. Okay, well, let me tell you something, Adam Corolla, dude, what I'm here to talk about, man, is that movie Marcus, brother, because I'm in this movie and I play a security guard named Gus, man. And this movie's about mental debility, man, and mental health wellness, dude. So you need to check this movie out, brother, because you'll learn something about mental health awareness, brother. Dave Coulier. Okay, we're gonna burn this place down. What once was one man's field of dreams. You know, if you build it, they will come. You know it's going down. Little Jewish lightning here. I. I shoot you in the foot spot. Spider will Sasso. What if Stone Cold Steve Austin was the President of the United States? I'm the President of the United States. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Oh, hell yeah. Tell you, some of them drones were out in Afghanistan during that shitty pullout. If it was fucking Trump, who's. It was his fucking idea. But let's get past that for a second. No, people will be talking about it, but because it's Joe Biden. Anyway, the point is, I'm the president and Jeff Richards, Louie Anderson, you guys ready to play the Feud? Oh, my tough fighters are probably serving our dungeons and minds and dungeons. Show me water. Wow. I don't know. I don't select the clips and I do not select the winners, but I do unveil them. I have a beautifully done card stock cardstock. Best impression. Short form goes to Bill Bellamy. Nice. Well deserved. Good guy. Saw him doing stand up just a little bit later when he came out. Just a ball of energy. Just love that guy. We should give each winner their card. Those are fancy. Yeah. All right. I'm not going to use it for a coaster. Yeah, don't do that over here. Let's drive. All right, now we move on to interview of the year. First nominee. First nominee. Our first nominee for interview of the year, Gene Simmons. I loved my mom till the very end. She lived to be 94. She was in the concentration camps of Nazi Germany at age 14. In Germany? Yeah, right outside, you know, they had camps in Poland. Poland, Yeah. I didn't even. Did they have them in Germany? Very few. There were two Mauthausen, I think. Yeah. So bougie sister, older sister had the same thing. My grandfather got the out of hungary in like 39 or something. And little known fact is the Hungarians had the black shirts, the fascists who lined up Jews by the Danube, the Duna, as they call. And they killed him, tossed him in the. Yeah. So your mom was in a concentration camp when she was 14. But in terms of house up, she was working all her life. Once my father left, she was mom and dad and cook, bottle washer, all of it. How do you think you would have turned out? What would have been different if your dad was there and loving and sort of taking care of business? What do you think? I don't think as well because I firmly believe and call it delusional that to have a matriarchal. Matriarchal figure is beneficial. I know there's got to have a male presence and all that, but through my mother's eyes, I understood and her words are true. Every day above ground is a good day. What you and I complain about the traffic jam. And the first thing I said to you when I walked in is, where are we? We're on the border and all that nonsense. It means nothing from my mother's perspective. There's nothing to complain about. I'll give you a quick. When we first came to America, I couldn't speak a word of English. And in those early days, in the late 50s, 1850s, see what I did there? Television would go off the air by about 11:00 or 12:00 midnight. We had three or four channels, that's it. And then you'd see the. And you'd hear the black and white kind of thing and it goes off the air. Right before that happened, they television stations would Play. And you'd see the billowing flag back and forth. And I would. My mother would let me stay up because next day I'd have to get up early and all that. Six days a week yeshiva. Wow. Regular English stuff and then Bible stuff. And I'd want to talk to my mother and she would say, sh, sh, sh, sh. While that song was playing and the flag was building, following, my mother would watch television and she would tear up. And I didn't understand why my mother was crying. I still get choked up. It wasn't until years later that I understood. Yeah, she finally was in a country where people weren't trying to kill her and her family. And even though we were living in, like, a ghetto, $37 a month rent, she was making maybe $100 a week. You barely survive, but nobody's trying to kill you. It's. You know, I've heard televangelists and other people, but they're right. It's a blessed country. They're right. God bless America. You bet your ass. I miss the old school immigrants to this country. Not the new, sassy, needy ones. Everybody piped down while the national anthem is on. Well, he's gotta be the most unlikely rock superstar ever to come down the pike. 100%. I don't. You can tell me your Kurt Cobain's or your Eddie Vedders or whomever, it doesn't matter. Any member of the Doobie Brothers. But his life. Hungarian, growing up in Israel, going to Israel as a newborn, and it's insane. Yeah, it's insane. He's a substantial guy and a good guy to talk to. All right, well, we will again. We'll do the interviews and unveil that at the end. But now we have Best Impression Long Form. The nominees for Best Impression Long form are. Adam Ray. Johnny spoke so slowly that imagine, like, going through a drive through, like it in and out with Johnny Depp. Let's do it. Here we go. All right. May I take your order, please? Well, you be Amber Heard. Go ahead and order quick. Gina, Hi. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and get a double double and fries with protein style and Arnold Palmer, but a little more tea than lemonade. All right, and what else? Oh, Johnny, do you guys have cake? You got a horn honk? Brian, do you have a horn honk? I don't think they do cake. Excuse me, we don't have cake. Is there a diet ketchup? We have Heinz. You could use less of it. Yeah, hurry up, because there's people behind us that's stacking up. Oh, well, it takes time. McDonald's is a complicated meal. We're raining out. Not even at McDonald's that's going to be a problem. So we have the protein style, double double. Yeah. I'll have the double double large fry, large fry, animal style, animal style. And then super size. My pickle. That's not a euphemism. No, sorry. Would you like to order? I don't think they have. Sure, I'll have. Do you have Fresca? No, no, we. We have lemonade menu. Coca Cola products for a place called In N Out. This is taking way too long. We just. We have a long line of cars stacking up behind a QR code for the menu. So I don't have to stare into this. J. Moore. Hey, Al. Yeah. What are we doing? Yeah, let's just do one that's a little less come covered. Sure. And just a little more like, hey, fellas. For the senses. Yeah, like, where was I? Let me get started. I'm alucino. You're about to watch the Personal Touch, directed by my twin, Bobby Hollander. You are going to get aroused. You are gonna get tight pants. Well, you're gonna think you're shopping and you put on pants that were too tight. You need to go to the husky section to accommodate all the boner juice flowing through your crank. Yeah. Don't believe me. Watch it. Don't say I didn't warn you. You could mail your semen home to your father. To your father. Yeah. All right, Attica. Let's not focus on the family quite as much. Al. It's a family movie, Adam. It's the Personal Touch. If we could just get three. They're all having sex together now. If we could just get three clean personal touches for that, we could just go ahead and use for promotional stuff. Give us some choices, you know? I got you. For the senses. I'm Alucino. You're about to watch the Personal Touch. This was filmed on videotape in MySpace to give you the best possible experience. It's an incredible movie. I put my name on it. I write it in jizz. All over your face, all over your cannons. Get on your knees. Who are and do your job. I'm swimming in the ocean with more. And that's not even an ocean. That is all the fluids that these people shot on set that day. You know, we had to do 74 takes because Sharon Mitchell could not get enough. It was crazy. She had the personal. I'm sorry. Let me start over. Just Three personal touches. Liberty Mutual. Daryl Hannah Hammond. Regis was really hard for me to do because Dana had done him so brilliantly. So I had to look for one little thing that Dana hadn't done, and I finally decided it was nasality. Regis had the thing where he was, you know, with the joy. And I went. Joy. And I went down in a cave in Tijuana that was a thousand years old. It was a thousand years old. So this event underground, with a ton of Secret Service and most of the Republican Party, and my job was to dress up as Clinton and tell jokes. Wow. About them. And in particular, make fun of him, poke at him a little bit. So I'm up there like, boy, that Dick Cheney with his heart condition and his pacemaker. Every time he sneezes, I bet the garage door opens, right? Chan is like, yeah. Hey, what is that? You know what? Bush was this person who was, like, utterly himself, you know, And. And the guy, he did things I never saw people do. He thinks like, stop talking in the middle of a sentence, because he's lost interest in the sentence. And know, be talking to me like, I appreciate your hard work. And I. Yeah, just take care. Does Jesse ever have casual conversations? Like, was he. If you're hanging out with his friends and one of his friends says, jesse, think you like some. Some dinner. Jesse be like, I saw that apparatus in that apparatus. I thought it was that apparatus emulsion. I forgot how much it made me laugh. Wow. Jonathan. More. More. Got Tom Hanks for. Oh, I love it. I love. I love porn. You do? Yeah, I got. I got a set. Next toy out. I think a lot of people know it as the Woody. The Woody. The Woody. Oh. Oh. I was looking at Liam Neeson. Oh. Pitching personal touch. I don't know if that would sound like that. I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want, but I can tell you that I offer a very particular set of skills with my fingers and mouth. And I will find you a. I will pleasure you. Yeah, I'm down. I'm seeing here you do Sam Elliott, and I know you hated Power the Dog, which let me just say this about Power of the Dog. I actually didn't see the movie. Well, but then why the big critique? I was put on the spot, and I was about four cases in, of course, life. Oh, Coors. Yeah. It's the. What's for dinner? It's the water dinner. Comes right off the mountain and into my gullet. I literally lay at the base of a mountain and suck on that rock all day. So you know. But you didn't like the new fangled western, you know, with the guys with their chaps, I think, no pants under them. I, I like when, I like when men don't sing nothing to one another around a campfire. And there's just a lot of pent up feelings inside as well. Staring. You don't like sharing? I've never shared anything in my life. Not with another person. Not with. Only thing I've ever shared. And that's not true. I share a bed with a horse. Oh, you sleep with a horse? Like the Godfather. I see. Not just the head, the whole, the whole horse thing. And Godfrey, here's what's funny. He never would. Would come out. But then I was doing really well as the warm up, I would, I was just. And you couldn't do. There was no singing songs. You know how you go to place and they're. I couldn't throw no T shirts. They were like, you have to be clean. You can answer questions and you just gotta come up with. So I would come up with clean. And I remember imitating him and I'm. And I'm turned around. I just, I just was doing it. I just. Doing Cosby. Something made me do it. I was like, you see, cuz people have to understand we are here and the people and. And all of a sudden I'm getting a big ass laugh, right? I'm thinking, damn, I'm killing that right behind me. And he's standing there and I turn, everyone's like, ah. He's like, I do not talk like that. Why are you imitating me? I said, yes you do, sir. Boom. Place went. By the way, there's almost no difference when you just did that. Yeah. I couldn't even tell you were right. I'm gonna close my eyes. Do it again. Okay. Adam Carolla, I just want to say who is the dude that is on your show? See, I don't know if that's the Godfrey, Cosby or Cosby. That's how good I am. That's how good he is. Wow. Now that's tough because a lot of guys did multiple and rations murders row right there. But I tell you, I got a soft spot in my heart for J. Moore. It. It just makes me laugh every time. Inspiring choice to break this up in a short form and lawn form because we get a little bit of reenactment sprinkled in there. All right, let's see what the people thought. Winner is Jonathan K. All right, good choice. Friend of the show and all around. Great guy. And he worked his ass off in his last appearance playing that game with us playing Password. Oh, yeah. A lot of calories burned. Oh, yeah. By the way, my book's out there for sale. Everything reminds me of something. So if you guys, I think it's still time for the holidays, go on Amazon, read the reviews if you like what you hear, and then grab it. And 10 days or so, the audiobook as well, where Dawson reads the questions and I give the answers. A very satisfying format. All right, so now we go on to Rant of the Year. Oh, boy, I guess that one has me in it. Our first nominee for Rant of the Year, Covid News Hysteria. Let's look at it like a pandemic movie. All the people who've been telling us how dangerous it is for the last two years, whether it be the aforementioned Newsom or Garcetti or Barbara Ferrer, that helped whatever, L.A. city council, teachers unions, every talking head on CNN, and everyone who writes a column in the LA Times. How come none of them are dead? Shouldn't they be dead? Shouldn't some of them. I mean, maybe not Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon and Sanjay Gupta, but one of them. Shouldn't somebody go, hey, we can't do Joy Reid show today because she's dead. Because she's dead. And we can't have a city council meeting on masking because two of the city council members got Covid and they're dead. And we can't write a column in the LA Times about how dangerous Covid is for kids because the columnist died or the mayor died or the governor died or the regional supervisor died. Where? Where? The dead people. Shouldn't I turn on CNN and just what? Why are all the anchors from two years ago still alive when we're in the middle of a fucking deadly pandemic? How come they're not dead? No one's dead. Where are you? All the people told me how deadly it was. Are not dead. How did that happen? If you approach life thinking like that, it'll clear things up pretty, pretty quickly because everyone's telling you this is a disaster and it's very dangerous and high mortality, whatever, but nobody telling you that. They're all back the next day, Right? And. Or, oh, he got it. He's out for three days, but then he's doing the show from his basement. Do that kind of math. You can look at graphs and numbers and that'll add something, but do this math. All right? We also have. Oh, Caller of the year. Caller of the year had some do. The nominees for Caller of the Year are. Matthew from Omaha. Matthew, Omaha. What? Seven. Hold on. He's only. Why does Buzz. Why does Buzz Lightyear say to infinity beyond when it's not even possible? Yeah, Matthew, that's a good. That's an existential question. Yeah, that's like, very philosophical. Well, speaking as Captain Nebula. Yeah, that's right. Captain Nebula. I was his captain. I was his CEO, his commanding officer. Matthew, for 100 episodes of some thing on Disney a million years ago. You. You're perfect to speak on this. Yeah, that. He just found that scribbled on the inside of a stall in the bathroom that we use at headquarters, and he just liked it. Is that canon? I've always wondered that and took off with it. Yeah. Did you see the latest movie, Matthew? No, sorry. John from Wisconsin. John 41, Wisconsin. You got some football player names. I got a quarterback for you. Yeah, the long toss. The long toss. That's good. Got a running back for you. He's not the best in the league, but if you need a good backup, he's all right. He's DeMarcus Short. The Marcus short. Wow, that is good. You better write these down. Max Apata. Got a wide receiver for you. Darren gone. Wait a minute. So say it again. Darren gone. Darren gone. Oh, gone. If they said cut. Okay. Right. How about a field goal kicker? Three points, Trey. Points. Good man. Three points. I got a lineman here for you. He's got a little bit of notoriety in the locker room. His name's delong Johnson. It's good. I like the setup. And then I noticed the lack of diversity on your team. So I got one white bet for you. He's Jewish. You got some moves. His name's Shlomo. Replay. That's good. Sign this guy up. And Chango from Danger Island, Korea, broke out. So I decided to go in the army and went to boot camp at Fort Benning and learned how to be a paratrooper. And you end up in Korea. And then there's the part that seems insane, which is capture. Prisoner of war, firing squad, mass grave, paratrooping. Yeah. Well, no, we got captured. We were in a different balloon. We went behind enemy lines. A whole scrimmage of US paratroopers. That was the 187th. And got captured. And we were brought to a prison camp. Camp. And then one morning, we were brought out in a truck and lined up. It was about, I don't know, maybe two, 300 of us lined up. And they had bulldozers there. And they had dug a big hole and everything. And we didn't know what was going on. But what they were going to do was they were going to kill us and bury us, which they did. So how did that walk us through that? I find that to be interesting. I can't walk you through it. I kind of stayed there and I kind of watched the person that was shooting at me, watching their finger. And when I thought he pulled the trigger, I fell into the hole with the rest of. And then. Did they bury you guys alive or you alive? They buried us in. And I didn't know where I was. Upside down, inside out. But I kept digging and digging and I kept the people that were laying on me to get air pockets. And finally it felt like. It felt like 100 hours. I finally got to the top up and felt air and looked out, and all these guys were drinking and laughing and giggling. And I waited there until it got dark and crawled out into the trees and forest and made it back to my comfort. Did anyone else make it out of the mass grave? Not that I know. Until this date. Uh. Oh, Chungo. If he doesn't win, I'm leaving. I'm expecting out of the other nominees, this is Chongo's to lose. I agree. Kim Kahana Chango. Yeah. Well deserved. Yes, well deserved. Interesting life. And that was just a tiny part of his story. His story was insane. People used to just kind of live back then. Like, they'd travel, they'd hitchhike, and they'd hang out. They'd hang out with relatives. It's funny. All that poverty and no safety net. We didn't really have homeless people. True. It was just like every story that you hear from these guys. They had some distant relatives somewhere, lived in Long beach, and they just stayed on their sofa until they blah, blah, blah. And then they signed up and became a merchant marine. And then they. And am I mixing him with someone else or didn't Kim ride the rails to New York to find out? To find somebody his dad had worked with. Yeah. He stayed with him. There was always a way. Always a way. All right, now we have the next. The first installment. Or is this the second installment? Interview of the Year. Our second nominee for Interview of the Year, Henry Winkler. I had all the letters delivered. 50,000 letters a week delivered to my apartment. And I would try and read as many as I could because it was so scary to leave my apartment when I wasn't working and I came across a letter. Yeah, we think you should have the fun on the tv More you should write beggar stories for the fronts. My mother wrote a fan letter to abc and I found it in this pile of fan mail. Wow. Your parents stayed together and just sort of fought and did battle. Yeah. But, you know, mostly the battle was I don't remember hearing them. I'll tell you what I do remember. 14 years old, we go to Boston to visit cousins. And I am somehow fixed up with this young lady who's a little older than I am, but I am smitten. And I somehow I went. Maybe I went to the movies with her. Maybe we just had a Coke or something, but I was. She jumped into my heart. I wrote her letters. And, you know, I was like the joke where I would be, you know, knee deep in paper, crumpled up because I had made a mistake and started it again because I couldn't spell. And so I didn't want to cross out a letter or I thought of a better way to say the sentence. And I finally sent this letter off to this young girl in Massachusetts, and I never heard back. And if I was heartbroken, and I went into my father's top drawer in his, you know, credenza in his. In his bedroom looking for something, and I found all the letters that that young lady wrote me that were never delivered to you. All those. How long. Wow. I mean. All right. How long a period of time had gone by? Years. Oh, years. Wow. Now why then? Why would one do that? Because. I'll tell you why. Yes. They thought I should not be distracted because I would get geometry if I just concentrated. Yeah, I remember that story so clearly. That's child abuse. It's weird. It's kind of haunting. Yeah, it also, I mean, the thing that's fun about those interviews, whether. Whether it's Gene Simmons or Henry Winkler. God, everyone had a past. Everybody started somewhere. All right, let me hit a quick spot here. Simplisafe property crimes like burglaries and package thefts are on the rise. They spiked during the winter. Now's the best time to secure your home with award winning home security from Simplisafe. Make a resolution to start this new year off with greater peace of mind and safety. These guys have been with us since almost the very beginning. Great company, great product name. Best home security system of 2022 by U.S. news & World Report. And I think that covers about everything. You got the US part and the whole world after that third year in a row, by the way. 247 professional monitoring costs under a buck a day. Less than half the price of traditional home security systems and they got an app people arm or disarm unlock for that guest who's coming in out of town, who's going to go Uber from the airport. Access cameras, adjust systems anytime, anywhere. It's SimpliSafe. Right? Dawson Customize the perfect system for your home in just a few minutes@simplisafe.com Adam Go today and claim a free indoor security camera plus 20% off your order with interactive monitoring. That's SimpliSafe.com Adam there's no safe like Simplisafe. Well, coming up, we have best reenactment and the I looked at the time for most uncomfortable moment over eight minutes. So that's a lot of uncomfortable. I have a pet in my stomach. I do too. I've never. I don't remember a single one. I don't even know. I'm scared. That's why we'll all be blindsided. And we'll do that right after this. Our first nominee for song of the year, Mike lynch and Rich Banks for goodbye triple GS. Goodbye triple GS. Though we never saw you at all, the bra we took to hold you up was stronger than a bridge. They spilled out of their Brazil and gave you some back pain. If you worked out on a treadmill, they'd slap you in the face. And it seems to me that to reduce your huge cantages of sin, those jugs got into the room a minute before so you walked in. I would like to see them. But now you've got a kid. Your cans got shut down long before your only fans started. Hey, it's Adam Kroll from the Adam Caroll the show. Betonline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting. From the earliest odds to in game live betting, Betonline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch and bet on games as they happen. With the largest selection of odds on everything from football, NBA, college basketball as well. BetOnline has NHL, MMA and championship boxing. All your betting needs in one place. Head to Betonline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun. Make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with Betonline. Betonline, the game starts here. KOA presents the Last Word in 2022 for Definitely Not a Jew. 50 Wheels of Cheese, Chef Boyardee, Beef ravioli, a chopstick, illegal autopsies, a 10 inch crucifix, 33 inch crossbow, 84 golf carts. The neighbor's dishwasher. A bottle of Mountain brand new. The Walmart self checkout. Mayonnaise. Shady Acres mobile Home Park. An Elmo costume. A dead brat, his own prosthetic leg. St. Mary's Cathedral, saved by the bell. Peter Pan buses. Chicken Caesar salad. Inflatable pool floats. A taser. Testicles in a customer's salsa. Per cat. Lalapalooza. The Russell County Sheriff's speed warning trailer. Thank you, Alcoa, for another great year of sponsorship. Sponsorship. We look forward to your support next year for more. Definitely not a Jew. Oh, always the favorite. Dawson at his best. Yeah, I don't know when I came up with that bit, but Alcoa sponsors that bit. Because you know who Alcoa is. They're aluminum manufacturer. Because you knew they'd never come after you? No, because the sponsor, like, play. When I was a kid, it was like, you make calls. The NFL. Like when I was 14, I'd sit around Alcoa presents. You make the call. It's fourth down, he fumbles the ball forward. Is it a first down? He recovered his own fumble. And then you'd have to figure out, well, can he fumble his own? You know, And. And I decided Alcoa should. Perfect. Should sponsor. Definitely not you. Their social media, by the way, has been well aware. Oh, really well aware. That they are sponsoring this. Not a peep out of them. So thank you, Alcoa. Listen, one of the things I like most when I interviewed Chrissy Hines from the Pretenders is when I was like, you're pretty liberal chick, right? And she's like, yep. And I'm like, rush Limbaugh uses your Back to Ohio song as his theme. That's his song? Yep. And I'm like, any thoughts? She's like, nope. Chuckle. We just need more of. So what's a commercial for you? All right. Best reenactment. Something I'm looking forward to. The nominees for best reenactment are Adam and Kyle Dunnigan for John and Yoko dinner party. What else? Sorry. Who else would you like to go to dinner with? Number three. John Lennon. So that table, it's another simpleton, stoner idiot. Lennon, are you excited to be at this table? Oh, what a great meal it would be. Alyssa, would you like to split a pumpkin pie? What a riveting conversation we're having here about the hair falling out of your head because of COVID You couldn't. You could not go to John. You couldn't go to dinner with him without Yoko. Oh, yodeling, the whole time. Now, cow Bioko. Thanks for coming to dinner with me, Alyssa. What appetizer were you thinking of getting tonight? Do you like calamari? We could split the calamari. If you like it, I'll put lemon on half of it. But if you like lemon, too, we can put lemon on all of it. If you'd like bacon on that wall that doesn't. That's not a great dinner. Right. Felipe Esparza for Mexican. Alex Jones. So, what do you think? Alejandro Jones. Did we ever really land on the moon? No, we didn't. Warner Brothers. Oh. We filmed it on a sound stage, so that was all cooked. I wish someone directed it. Who? Ivan Reitman. Evan Reitman. All right, now, the Loch Ness Monster. Is that real? See? Okay. And then Echo Park. Echo Park Lake. What? Oh, Echo Park Lake is where? The lake. The lake. Ness Monster is Alejandro Jones. Yeah. Okay. I didn't get that last part, but he feeds off cholos every day. Okay. He eats off. He eats off cholas or at the park. What about Sasquatch? Bigfoot. We were in Berkeley. Oh, he lives in Berkeley. He's in Berkeley. He's up north. Bigfoot. What's his Spanish name? Is it Grande? What is it Lombilargo? Yeah. Oh, that's Bigfoot. Yeah. Zobius. All right. That's very good. Adam Dawson, Brian and Gina for Peter, Paul and Mary. Band meeting. Paul, you done with that joint? Hey, guys. Peter here. Peter. I mean, wait, I. Yeah, go. Yeah. I thought we voted Mary out of the band. Hey, did that. I told you last. I told you we couldn't her. Right? Peter Paul. Marion Adams. It's okay. I say we go. Peter, Paul, Adam. Yeah, why not? All right, all right. Okay. Before I vote it out, can I please give you one last submission? You were talking about getting your dick sucked, Right? Well, that's not really my vibe, but what if we did a cover? You want to get a blowjob so bad. Well, how about a little? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. Your pants. The answer is blowing in the Wind. Didn't Dylan sing that? Yeah, but we'll cover it, cuz you want to get blown so much. Harmonies. Yeah. I'm thinking, how many roads must a man walk down before they call him a man? I'm talking about, like, let's cover some Uriah heap or some. Some who now rock. You know what I mean? Yeah. Hey, Mary, blow it out your ass. Yeah. Adam Lunel and Michael Yeoh for Dave Chappelle at Chipotle you know Chappelle, Michael, I have run across. I know everybody in his crew except Chappelle. Like Donnell and people like that. I. I perform with them all the time. But he's very elusive without being elusive. Yes, yes. But I've also never wanted to meet him, too. Ouch. No, no, no, because. Clean that up. No, no, because what am I gonna say that day? No, no Netflix special for your ass. But what am I gonna say to him? Like. Oh, what do you mean? What the. You think that I have to say to Dave Chappelle? I'm a little black girl on Crenshaw. I'm in my 60s. I think he's. Do you think that he would. You think that I think he would with me, but he does. Lunel, why don't you play the role of Dave Chappelle? Okay. And Michael, you run into him at a Chipotle in Burbank. All right, here we go. Hey, what's up, Dave? Hey, you're Michael Yeoh. I know all about you. Oh, my goodness, man, you're a funny guy. Really great material. It's good to see you. Keep up the good work. That's what Dave Chappelle would say to you. Oh, that's the out. That's the kind of guy. Now we'll be at the same Chipotle, and Adam Carolla will run into Dave Chappelle. Okay, you beat Adam. I'll be Dave. Hi, Dave. I'm a big fan of your work. Give me a double latte ma macchiato with hazelnut, a Chipotle. Oh, give me a burrito bowl with some. Oh, hey, hey, Ms. Chappelle. I don't work here. I'm a comedian. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Hi, you know. Oh, Gary Shamy. No, no, he died. He died. No, I'm Adam Corolla. You've heard of me from all the TV shows. Oh, we used to be on the man show together. I did the man show and then the Chappelle show came on right after. On Comedy Central. Yeah, and it was very successful. You know, I'm a comedian. You know, I do stand up. Yeah, yeah. I mean, surely you must have heard, right now I don't have any Chipotle based material. How can you not? And Adam Ray for Young Bobby Hollander audition. Can I do my audition to play Bobby Holland? Yes, yes, Young Bobby. All right. Somebody play the casting. Let me. It's a. It's one long monologue. I'll play the based on that scene. Yeah, okay, great. But okay, and, and stick to the script. Or is there freedom to play around a little bit? You can always have fun with the script. You know the beats. And I'll tell you what, I'll count you in. In 5, 4, 3. How's your dick doing? Hard. Put your hand down there for a second touch it. Feels good, right? Are your balls still attached? Well, they're about to get blown. The off Personal Touch is a film that's gonna make you want to touch everything that comes, including your. So look, everyone's born with genitals, right? Dicks, other stuff, all of it is going to be in this movie that's going to make you want to go, holy, am I still coming? It stars Don Cheadle, Amari Stoudemire, Candace Cameron Beret and Sharon Stone's son. It's a film that everyone's talking about, but everyone's coming to first. There's so much tits and butt. There's dicks and balls. Hey, take off your tie. Put your shoes in the hamper. Call your friend from high school who you reconnected with on Facebook and tell them that there's a new movie out for the kids. The kids who can handle the, the rough stuff, you know what I mean? But butt, there's all sorts of tricks in this film that'll make even the Trix rabbit go, are you sure we should be showing this? It's one of those movies that makes everyone who's ever had a naked person in their waterbed go, Jesus Christ. So look, get on down to the local supermarket, grab some milk, because you're gonna need something to quench your thirst after you've come out of your. This. I'm so, I'm sorry, Can I take it again? He did a lot of good stuff in there. All right, best reenactment. I, I, I never have any idea before I open this envelope. And the best reenactment Ace award goes to. Adam Ray. Well deserved. It's such a good dude. Oh, the best. All right, we have song of the year. Next number two offering our second nominee for song of the year, Mike Dawson for Blowing with Zam Fere and Jim Carolla. You remember Zam Fere's haunting melodies. Now the master of the pan flutes lost recording session with the master of the trumpet is available for the first time ever. Experience the majesty, the pageantry, the Jim Corolla and Zam Fear musical legacy lives again. You'll be moved by their dynamic interpretation of hits such as Chariots of Fire, Endless Love, Sound of Silence for the first time on two CDs or four cassettes. Jim Carolla and Zamfir, with hits from Elton John and who can forget the Scorpions? And international hits from Italy. Jim Carolla and Zam Fear. Finally together Blowing with Zam Fear and Jim Carolla. Available wherever finer music is sold. Oh, masterful, Dawson. Heavenly Music. You know, I realized, like, as a kid, I would just sit home and watch those commercials for Reuniting on Ice or whatever beverage there was. And I watched him the same way I would watch a tampon commercial or a douche commercial. Like, never doing that. Never going there. It doesn't relate to me. Nothing to do with me. They'd have commercials for amusement parks and the super bowl, motocross and R on Ice and Black Tower booths and stuff. And I'd just sit there and stare at them. Now I would see Zam Fear the pan Flute. I would see the best of the K Tel collection of Smokey Robinson. I'll just sit there and look at it and go, never gonna get that. Never go in there. Put it out of your mind. Just never. But I will gladly consume the commercial, but we're never eating that. Nothing is entering our house. We're never collecting that, and we're never going there. That's what I do. Superman was flying across your screen. You're like fantasy. There would be no Madison Avenue if they polled me. They'd go, hey, you see the Mr. Microphone commercial 171 times. Did that make you want to buy? Never bought one. No. Never, Never. Oh, was it not cool enough for the Van? Ringling Brothers would come to town? Like, whatever it was, it's like, there's nothing I saw on TV that I ever bought, purchased or even made it into the house. Not even the lowliest, like, snack cracker, maybe. Maybe like a Saltine or Ritz commercial. You know, something like a Wheat Thin commercial. Technically, Triscuit could have made it inside. Could have crossed the threshold. But all the K Tel musics and all the tickets and all the, hey, come down to Chet Stevens RVs in Glendora. Like, nope, never going there. Never drive an rv. Never going. I have no idea where that is. All right, well, now buckle up. I'm sweating. Most uncomfortable moment. I know. I'm nervous. I didn't like it, whatever it is. That when it happened. I don't like it now. I don't know. But, yeah, yeah, sorry. The nominees for Most Uncomfortable Moments are. Adam and Tia Carrera. What's your status, Tia? You. You're single. Oh, it's. Oh. Oh, you opened up something. Hey, Michael met this dude online. What? There's a guy at the gym following him. Maybe you guys could talk. Just. Just have lunch. It's just lunch. It's. It's sad. It's sad. It's sad. Single. Sad. Sad and single. It's sad. Okay, but. But, but. But we can turn the page. We can move on. We can find love. Well, God, why. Yes. He's. Oh, God. Wow, you hit a cord. Adam. I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I know. I was trying to be glib, and I was like, that looks weird. All right, let's see if we can change gears here. Hey, how about you see this recumbent dude on his bicycle? It's crazy, right? Recumbent bike and an airplane. I saw that guy. Who does he think he is? I know. People coming on with peacocks and iguanas. And now recumbent bikes gave Tina bald. Brian, come on. What do you have? 76. Yeah. Your score means you have one reason to be happy, and that's because you won. Yes. With a score of 60. Oh, yeah. And see, for me, it's like I saved my winning for the stage. You know what I mean? When we play in front of the audience, that's where I. That's where I shine. You're a gametime player. You know, at the office. Allen Iverson. Iverson. Wait, let me do some classic Brian point. Even though I'm pretty sure I won in Kansas City. Took a bow and everything. I took a bow for something. I was wondering why you did take a bow. My name was announced, and I got up and I bowed. What game did we play? Anything. You definitely took a bow. Did I? Was I. He took a bow. But I. And I remember thinking, why is Gina bowing? What are you talking about? Are you serious? This is why. This is why our court system is. That's the black man I saw walking. And like, I know it. I know it like I know my own son. Somebody better figured this out because I took a bow for something. I remember thinking the same thing, Chris. I was like, why? Yeah, I'm looking at the scores. You got second place five. Imagine the bow. She would have taken the first. Oh. It would have been a deep plunge. Let's see. Oh, hey, get ready to take a bow. He won the Nobel Peace Prize. Oh, thank you. Done it without it. Publishers Clearinghouse, New York Times best selling author, celebrated mother and wife. Take. Take a bow just so we can lock IT in community leader. Come on, get a think about philanthropist. I'd like to thank God, I'd like to thank my family. Coverage of this size one dress size. I mean, that was just a matter of time. Thank you very much. Thank you. Super bowl mvp. I work hard, I play hard. Won the triple crown of the Kentucky Derby. The freakness. It feels good. Yeah. Okay, good now. Good now it's locked in. We can get on with our lives. Yeah. Robbie Patel and Park Ranger Andrew. This is the ranger guy. Do you know who Adam Carolla is by any chance? Carolla. Oh, that's embarrassing. He doesn't know who you are. I'm doing his podcast. He's great. But we're gonna leave in a second. But things done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for waiting. I appreciate it. Adam Perola. Check him out. He's great. You really like him? Yeah, I love him. That guy's not my demo. How old is that guy? 14. He's. He's a white dude with a beard. He's definitely your demo. Hey, he's got to know who I am. Put him on that phone. That's what I. Oh, you want to get him? I'll ask him. I'm telling you, I don't think he knows who you are. Ask if he knows what the man show is. White guy with a beard. Come on. Hey, man. Hey. One more thing. He's a little. My friend Adams, he's got a big. He's just a little upset, rightfully, because 90% of his audience are white dudes with beards. And so he's a little upset that you don't know who he is. Have you ever heard of the man show? Man show? Yeah. I want to say it rings a bell. You can talk. Rings a bell. Rings a bell. Andrew. Ranger Andrew. Is that his name? How old are you, Ranger Andrew? 28C. Young guy. Oscar. Cool UN. I didn't know he was that young. Ask him if he's crank anchors. Has he heard of crank. Crank anchors? Have you heard of crank anchors? That rings a bell as well. He's lying, by the way. He doesn't know who you are. Corolla. Corolla's on the way down. I shouldn't have done this show. This is horrible. Ask him. Ask him if he's heard of Saved by the Bell just so he can ironically say that rings a bell. Adam and Josie Davis. Good to see you again, Josie. Yeah, thank you. So I was informed that we went out on a date. Yes. We had pie. That. That checks out. At Swingers. This all tracks. Yes. And I was 26. And you're like, are you 21? Well, you, you're 49 now and you look like you're 21. Oh, my God. God. I mean, it's, it's crazy how young you look. So. Who says a girl's age, by the way? I'm like, really? You know, I shouldn't have said it, but I, I gotta tell it. Well, no, all right, let's talk about this. Let's talk about this. It used to just be a no fly zone. You don't talk about age and a woman and you don't talk about money with guys. But we're in a new world. Like Elon Musk got 200 billion is net worth and Bezos's and women are doing a lot more. She's, you know, JLo's 53 and crushing it. We're doing a lot of that now. So I think if you're crushing it, if you're the Elon Musk of looks. Oh, I would say would not be me. But if you look incredible at 49, then you can not say it twice. That would be awesome. Thank you. Combine 98 years, years of age, the two 49s. Okay. Three times. Okay. And Adam and Jill. Zarin, what do you think? What would your number be? Oh, wait. Well, first of all, I'm completely pro choice. I had an abortion when I was 16 years old. Really? Yep. And I'm totally, you know, open to share that, especially in times like this. And I, my life would be complete, it was six weeks, but my life would have been completely different. You'd have a 15 year old today. I'd have a 40 year old today. I was trying to be complicated. I know. And I think about that sometimes, but I know I did the right thing. But either way, whether I did the right thing or the wrong thing, it was my choice. And I believe that it's a choice for women to make for themselves. You know, I love. So you would put no cap on the number? You know, I could see putting a cap on the number. What do you think that would be? But there were also like, you know, 13 and 14 year old girls who get, you know, raped and the situations happen and they don't even know they're pregnant. But we're looking for a number. I don't know, I don't want to even put it. You got to give a number. See, we're not going to be able to figure this out unless people like you give a number. I Don't think the number's the issue. I think it is because that's. Everyone in the middle would agree. If we could agree on a number, I think we could get on with it. But we have to kind of agree on the number. And birth control. They want to take away birth control. Could you imagine? I want the number. Give me a number. It is kind of the problem with most arguments, which is people make these, you know, women should have a right to make their own health care decisions. And you go, I agree. But now we got to get down to the legislation. So nuts in the bowls, like where we're at. And then you make the proclamation where you believe that in a country that all. And it's like at a certain point it's gotta come down. We have to agree, come up with something. We can debate it and then we'll put it into the book. Do you wanna scrimmage all day or to play a game? Right. At some point it's gonna have to be something. And you know, Boring cop, I think so. Mark Geherga is, has a partner and his name is Ben. And I always announced that Mark, you know, when they do depositions and stuff, they kind of. It would be good cop, bad cop. This guy doesn't talk fast. I said, you guys play good cop, boring cop. And now that's his name, boring cop. And Mark called him boring cop, who's a great lawyer. But he said to me once, he said, you know, a good settlement, you know, you've reached a perfect number. Anyone who's been through it, I've been through it. He said, he said this and that back and forth. It could be a court thing, could be a divorce thing, could be anything. He said, you've got the right number. When both parties are upset, when both parties feel like they got fucked. And so we could reach a number with divorce where both sides thought they got fucked. And that would be the perfect number. That's how you know if one side's celebrating, you didn't get to the middle. Right. You swung it one way or the other. When both sides, both parties feel like they got fucked perfectly agreed, that's the perfect number. All right, well, thank God none of those were any blowouts. Cuz I was like, if they were like in home blowouts, I have erased it from my mind. Also, Jill Zarin reminded me why we couldn't do that morning show. We were talking about doing a Cup of Jill. Oh God. Ace over easy. Ace over easy and a Cup of Jill. Cup of Jill. Because when I Was like you. Yeah. You had your abortion when you were 16. And what'd I say? Those girls, you have a 14 year old by now. Yeah, you'd have a 14 year old, which would make you 30. Which ironically we just rolled through with Josie. But the point is, she's like 40. I was 40 years ago. Yeah, we got it. But did you not know what I was doing or did you think. I thought you're 30. Which would have put you in your early teens. For the first Housewives edition of Manhattan, I'll make the argument for funnier. The way it played out. The House of. By the way, the first episode, you had an adult daughter, so be nearly impossible for me to think you were 30. Fuzzy math. All right, the winner. Jill Zarin, everybody. Yeah, the other thing about, there's a couple of through lines from Nutty Chicks. You guys all pay attention to this. They talk about people that you've never heard of, as if you know them like kids. Right? Whatever they do, they do what kids do. So they'll do a lot of, you know, Rob says, Rob says. Rob said I need to go. Who's Rob? Oh, he's my product manager. And it's like, okay, I would never feel free. That's exactly whatever a 7 year old would do. That's. That's what they do. Bringing up the name is a perfect example of what seven year olds do and what nutty middle aged people do. All right, let's see. Where the hell am I? Interview of the year number three. Interview of the year number three. Thank you, Gina Grant. Our third nominee for interview of the Year, Darrell Hammond. What was your Dad's job at WW2? He was a lieutenant. What theater was he in? I don't know. My sister has all that stuff. What? Usually the son that knows all that, I mean, me and him didn't become close ever, even close at all until his deathbed, in which the whole thing was about medals. Like, I, I went to his deathbed and he's in the hospital hospice and he took himself off morphine so that he wouldn't die. By the time I got there, I was doing an SNL with Obama that night. Next morning, I fly down that afternoon, I'm in the hospice with him and he has all his war medals on his chest. And then he says, you know, I was a pretty good soldier. I'm sorry I was a bad dad. And then he says something like, I let my anger be more important to me than my children, and that's my sin. Yeah. So he was a violent father. He wasn't the violent one physically, he was the threatening one. Although he broke windows and broke my door down and, you know, he did stuff like that. Which if you're a little kid and your door set, suddenly someone hits the door with a baseball bat in the middle of the night, you're pretty. You're pretty unsettled for a good long while from that when you find out that it was your father. Well, if he wasn't the violent one, does that make your mom the violent one? Yeah. Really? Yeah. What would she do? Oh, she was, oh, you know, slam my hands indoors, stabbed me, hit me with a ball peen hammer, electrocuted me. She was the pillar of the church, you know, and so when we wrote the play about the book, the. The 10, the. The whole four points of the whole play that we did at La Jolla Playhouse were mental illness, not an airborne virus. Right. Monsters hide in the light. They work in the dark, but they hide in the light. Okay. Monsters don't make themselves. And then in order to be a monster, you probably had to be a victim too. Oh, yeah. And so when. When it's placed in that light, it gives you a way to, you know, forgive the person. Not in the way, like, I approve of you and, And I love you, I want to spend time with you, but that. I understand you and I, You're. I just. There's no connection between us. Again. Do you know anything about her? About your grandparents, about her parents? Well, I. No, but, you know, that was. That's. I remember being there when, you know, when I. I guess I was like 11 years old and seeing the mom and seeing the dad on the couch, just so underdressed and so. So whacked out on whiskey and I. And getting a creepy feeling that I really didn't understand until years later. So I don't have a video of that, but it's a safe bet, you know, that that's what happened. Part of my therapy was I had this dream about a child outside my window. And it looked like my mom. And, you know, it helped me. You know, as the doctor who treated me said, in the end, there's nothing that frees you from your perpetrator any better than a little sympathy for the devil. Wow. My God. It's interesting. Between Gene Simmons and Henry Winkler and Daryl Hammond, they all have very intense thoughts about their mothers. Just goes in a lot of different directions. All the greats. Yeah. Yeah. I think a dad can leave some scars, but a mom, you know, dad can bend A fender. And you might need to go to a body shop and get some new paint. But a mom can total you. She can total you out. Like the insurance company said. Put it in the crusher. Here's middle Kelly blue book for you. Dads do, like, overt sort of comic book damage. He had a tennis racket, and he used to beat me on the calf with it, you know, and he throws chewing tobacco at me, and he'd say, I'm no good, like, whatever. But the mom, she can really just bend the frame of that car. So the door will never shut. Right. Irreparable. Yeah. I mean, you could get it back on the road, but the door's always gonna stick when you try to open it. Like, they will fucking total you out. Thanks, Mom. The other thing I realize is, and I bring it up from time to time, but this crazy digital archive of all these people and what happened and how they grew up and their innermost thoughts. You know, I don't know why, but when I was hearing Darrell Hammond's Great Impressionist, and I was thinking, like, when I was a kid, there was a guy named Charlie Callis. Anyone remember Charlie Callis? Charlie Callis. And Chris can look him up. Is sort of a fixture of the Bob Hope and the Scene and the Roast and stuff. He wasn't. He wasn't Henny Youngman and he wasn't Dick Cavett. He wasn't Bob Hope. He was just. But there were. You know, he would be what Jeff Ross would be today, because that's how it's gonna work. Like, you know, 40 years from now, people are gonna go, oh, Dave Chappelle. I know Dave Chappelle. And then you'll go, what about Jeff Ross? And I go, he's a side. He's smaller, little adjacent. And then you could tell stories like, oh, Dave Chappelle. Thought he was the funniest guy ever, whatever. But there's comedians. Comedians. I'm probably. I'll be in that group. Right, Right. Jimmy. Oh, yeah. Everyone knows Jimmy Kimmel comes to the town, right? So he did everything. I don't know, but you can find him. He did stand up and he did impressions. Was he British? I don't know. Because he was always doing an impression of something kind of familiar, known with working. So he worked with Mel Brooks, he worked with Jerry Lewis, he worked with Dean Martin. Like, he was that Jeff Ross. He worked with all those guys, but he wasn't that guy. But I think he did impressions. I feel like Chris will look up, but here's the whole point. He's dead. I have no idea what his relationships were like. I don't know if he was gay or straight. I don't know what he thought of his mom. I don't know if she hid the love letters from the young woman he had a coke with. There's nothing. There's just what was on the Dick Cavett show and then nothing. And now we have this bank of millions of digital hours of Would you like to know who Darryl Hammond was? Would you like to know who Jill Zari? No, but if you did, you could find it. Yeah. All right. Did he do impersonations? Well, he would like show up in an army uniform impersonating vaudeville comic George Jessel. Oh, Georgie. And yeah, he also appeared on the Andy Williams show various times as a character called Captain Weird who is a parody of various superheroes. Nuanced, but I'm not seeing what exact impressions he did. When did he die? 2011, age 86. And he was born in Brooklyn. Gino. Oh, interesting. There's all these ancillary guys. I had no idea who they were. Nobody knew who they were. They just showed up, did their act, went home. There's no digital recording of no long form interview with them, just kinescopes. But I'm sure he would have had an equally interesting story and background and so on and so forth. Just we'll never know it. All right, we move. Oh, wait, do I have the winner? No, sorry, getting ahead of myself here. We move on to second rant of the year. Yeah. Ah, second rant of the year. There we go. Our second nominee for rant of the year. School choice. The punishment public schools are a Del Taco and I'm saying let's open a Taco Bell across the street. They go, no, no, that will hurt the kids. It's like, that'll hurt the kids or you don't want the fucking competition? It's like, no, no. We're all four kids and we love tacos, but we're not going to be able to open a Taco Bell across the street. It's like, wait, which is it? Now? You love Mexican food and you love the kids and you love to see them thriving eating Mexican food, but you're going to make sure that they can't open a Taco Bell across the street. So maybe just worried about your Del Taco. That's what it kind of feels like. I can't think of another argument as to why in California is insane. Because we are pro choice for everything, right? Where We. We are pro. You know, you have 7,000 pronouns. Everyone just decides for themselves what their sexual proclivities are or how you identify. Choice, Choice, choice, choice up the fucking wazoo. But not for schools. Not. No. No. Choice in schools. Hey, Gavin Newsom. I thought you were just a pro choice person. But not with kids. Not with schools. Huh. Interesting that someone is so pro choice on every subject, but not with education. Sniff curious. All right, well, that's how you know they're full of shit. All right, now we move forward to Invention of the Year. Yeah, very good. The nominees for Invention of the year are Pringles Stop chip. What do you guys think about this idea? Those of us are. Metabolisms are slowing down and I have found myself watching football at the guys. Someone will bring the Pringles. Sure. And I pop the top. I'll pull out five, I'll put the cap back on, like I'm not doing it anymore. And I'll slide it two feet that way. And then I'll finish the chips and I'll slide it back over and pop the cups. Now it's. It's empty. Carbs can't stop. What if Pringles installed a stop chip somewhere? Random. It's a stop chip. It's random. It's random to everything. Like, you know, like Vegas. You got to the other shuffle. Yeah, yeah. That's just. The guy takes that one yellow car and he just slides it through the middle. It could be the first one. Yeah. In which case, no bring those for you today. Or it could be at the bottom. You could get lucky. But it could be 11 chips down. That's where you have to stop and walk it off. Tampon toothbrush. There's a TikTok trend where girls will go and they'll have like a one night stand with a guy. And then. And then if they go in the bathroom, they see things that are for girls in there, like. Like tampons or another toothbrush or something like that. Then the trend is to film the bathroom and just put it out on TikTok going, does anybody recognize this bathroom? Good. One of the guys, just courteous. Yeah. Leaves tampons. My tampon toothbrush idea is awesome because if you have a small bathroom, it's gonna get you in trouble. You gotta make a Sophie's choice. You want clean teeth and minty fresh breath or smelly coos. Well, now this solves that problem. The tampon toothbrush. Heavy duty. Now you got the, you know, ass washer toilets. What about having a standard toilet and A shits blown off the wagon toilet like this is litter. A little bigger mouth, a different slope on the seat and maybe a different Teflon coated porcelain because that's precious seconds. Grab bars everywhere. Grab bar can bite onto something. A leather strap built in overhead fan, you know what I mean? Like something piping. Piping. Yanni. Someone patting your forehead, wiping you down like an airplane. It got suction, pressure actuated. Seat feels you come down on it. It is all hands on deck. Right. That is because the problem with the standard toilet, you have to get naked for it. Yeah, obviously the standard toilet is for the standard dump. You did try to hit it with the diarrhea on the standard checkers and chest. Yeah, it's not built for it. Am I inventing this? Maxapata is there. Does it have a seat belt? Oh my God. 5.5. I got our brand name. I got our brand name, people. What is it? Heavy beauty. Oh my God, it's genius. Keto Eucharist. The whole keto thing is sweeping the nation. Yeah, some people. Did you do it? I get into. I dabble, I go in and out. But some people get real hardcore. Next to one hardcore. Are you keto hardcore for like three or four. But what about the body of. You get keto sick. You got keto sick though, right? The initial week. Yeah. That's interesting. I've got to imagine that's a gram of carbs at best. We're talking hard core though. Well, I haven't been to church in those four years, so I wouldn't know. But given that choice. I want to go to hell. But then again, I want to get fat. Yeah, no, no, because in hell you'd be fine. I had to say no to the Eucharist. Do you think it'd be acceptable to substitute it with jerky? They don't have a carb free one. The body of Christ. Well, it wouldn't have to be. It's if you see it in the store, in the gas station. The body of Christ jerky. That's good Christ jerky. Well, just a keto friendly Eucharist, that's all. All right. Well it's made from cauliflower. Yeah. Do a cauliflower Eucharist. Cauliflower cries and concrete graffiti paint. The gang bangers are standing there waiting for the mason to finish off his trowel work and then go. Is it in the mason's like it takes another 20 minutes to set up, then you can go ahead and tag it and then we try to paint over it. But it's a weird gray shape and it now just becomes a big box. And you know, the graffiti was there. And it fucks me up psychologically. It's like. It's like when they beep out the S word. I go, I know what he said. I go, that wall had graffiti on it. We need paint. That is not paint. Not gray paint. We need concrete paint. We need three types. New concrete, 10 year old concrete and fucking old concrete. You go down the Home Depot and you get the concrete paint that matches your goddamn concrete. It's not battleship gray. It is a color. It is called concrete color. Somebody invent this shit and we'll all laugh to the bank together. There is a place up in Malibu like a big retaining wall. I walk around, it's got just a big gray square in the middle of the aged concrete. Places that get tagged a lot. Look, patchy square there, square there. You never got to. It's never going to be dead nuts on. But there's. It's better than just getting gray. You're going to have to get out there with your stippling sponge. That's right. I have that. I carry that with me. That's right. All right. Invention of the year, Heavy Duty. Yes. Well deserved. Get on patenting that right away. I like the. It has a wider mouth. Well, I think the beginning of that conversation, as I recall, is there's a bidet and there's all kinds of accoutrements in the high end bathrooms. Now, why not if you have a bidet set aside for certain things? And why not set aside the Heavy Duty? Fair question. And it's also a great Spinal Tap song. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. I mean, Heavy Duty rock and roll. I forgot about that. Brings out the duty in my soul. I mean, it's great. You gotta find Heavy Duty. It makes me goddamn laugh. Heavy. Heavy Duty. Heavy Duty rock and roll Brings out the duty in my soul See, that's the whole thing about parody. You gotta do everything right and then just a little twist at some point. Brings out the duty in my soul. All right, they'll find that. We'll listen to another entry number four for the Interview of the Year. Our fourth nominee for Interview of the Year, Bill Maher. I had white hair, like, you know, like the kid they would call whitey, you know, very blonde, crew cut, very nervous, you know. I had a pit in my stomach most of my childhood. Really? Yeah. I mean, going to school, I was shorter than most of the kids, you know. Thank God I sprang up at least to 5, 8, which is about average, maybe a little. Where does your confidence come from now? Because you do seem very confident. Sure. But it took a long time. I mean, I was painfully shy as a kid. Could not really ever, like, approach anybody. And, you know, in. Even in my 20s and so forth. I mean, like, going up to a girl, I was always still trying to make friends with guys who could talk to girls. Right. I think it came from success. I think one reason people like to become famous is because it eliminates the need to introduce yourself. It's, you know, I mean, your opening line is, thank you very much. Right. That's a great advantage in life if you're a shy person. But of course, it's just years and years and just, you know, you become more familiar with what could happen. If I go up to somebody and they don't respond as I would want them to. Nothing. Nothing will happen. Right. I'll move on to the next person and two seconds later, I don't have to be thinking about it. But there's a great amount of anxiety. And when I was a child, I feared so much being ostracized because sometimes I was in school. Kids are awful. Kids need to be civilized. Kids need to be taught to be moral. They're feral. That's what the book Lord of the Flies is about. Kids are horrible and they don't care. They don't even know they're being horrible now. They just do it. And I was not a popular kid. There was a kid who was ostracized more than me. But some days they decided it was me. It was mostly him. But I was always worried that I was the next one. And sometimes I was. And childhood was. I was never meant to be a child. I didn't like other children. And I was so glad when it was over. Yeah, you know, I was ripe for the picking, except for I always kicked ass at sports. Yeah. And that's all you needed from a big difference. 0 wouldn't have given 0 to 16 if you kicked ass at sports. You just gotta. You gotta pass. For all. The family was a mess. You couldn't read. Everything was disheveled, and everything was a awkward mess. But if you kicked ass at sports, it was like, all right, well, you go by, we'll give you a pass. All right. Oh, you got heavy duty. Sorry. Brings out the beauty in my song. No, like, fantastic ever crosses my mind. That meditation stuff can make you go blind. Just crank that volume to the point of pain. Why waste good music on the brain? Heavy Duty. Duty brings out the duty in my soul. All right, that's all we needed. All right, well, coming up next, we got the outstanding achievement in Shitting on a Point and or story and Best Radio Front Cell, all coming up after this. Earlier this month, technical and creative arts Ace awards were handed out in the following broadcasting categories. Best TV theme song. I've probably seen almost every Car 54 episode. Do you even know the theme song? It's great. There's a hold up in the Bronx Brooklyn's broken out in fights There's a traffic jam in Harlem that's backed up to Jackson Heights There's a scout troop short a child cruise ships to at idle wild car 54, where are you, dad? Big fan of old sitcoms. Watched them all. Rob Zombie covered that. That would be fucking awesome. By the way, worst improv. You say the guy was a gardener with the city of San Francisco. I think if you said that with your Irish accent and it would work for me. Saying, how gay is this guy? And then you go, he's gayer than the gardener of the city of San Francisco. Let's see if we can try this. You ready? You want me to do a gay version of him? No, do it. You do the Irish version. It'll sound. How gay was this guy? He's actually straight. You got to go to the ground. Ask me. Ask me. I'll ask you. Gina, how gay was this guy? Guy. He's gayer than the groundskeeper in San Francisco. All right, Garner. It's not bad. Best sound effects guy, Brad Williams. There it is. That's right. Sitting in for Paul Bryan. And on the sound effects machine. I'm scared. Listen, this job is not that hard. That's the secret. Bald, like, complains about it all the time. Oh, I've got to edit drops. I've got to do all this stuff. Listen, you wait for someone to say something fun and then you just hit it's not that hard. Bald Brian. No wonder someone with a tumor can do this. I have no tumor. I'm doing it twice as good. Kill you. Well, bald has the flu and it's severe, so he's gonna get out for a couple days. Best intro joke. And now, according to most Democrats, half of Twitter and all of his family, any picture of him is a dick pic. Adam Corolla. Yeah, so true. Get it on. Best game show. I was fortunate to have really great mentors. My mom dated wonderful guys who I still have their know their phrasing and their ideas and their philosophies. Tell us what they did and what their hobbies were and we'll try to figure out are they black? That's where the audience cheer, you know, birthday. All right, well, so I had. So here it is. So my mom dated a guy named Erman. And he was persistent. Hold on, hold. I gotta write it down. Okay. Ermin. And. And his. And he always wanted a Jaguar. He didn't drive one, but he wanted one. But his. But his license plate said Professor. And so from there that. That was the bar for me of like, oh, maybe I'm want to be a professor. Because he always wants to do that. And I was like, man, I would like to do that as like a nod to Irma because he's such a great guy. Yeah. Kenyard or pimp. The professor. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's a good question. Arranged there jacket with the suede patches on the sleeves or full minko. The professor like player or like actually lecturing in front of students. Look no further than the bishop Don. Magic wand. Yeah, it's not actually in the clergy. Now, Herman would tell me one thing. Ermine. Did he go hearn sadly wanting a jaguar versus getting one from his cat? You know what I mean? That's different. Did he call it a jaguar or Jaguar? Oh, I think he added the E. Yeah. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a question. A Jaguar. Leo, thank you for coming. Kevin finishes. This is so dope. All right, I know. Brian, where are you? Coming down. The Jaguar did it. I'm going black. Crazy name. Means could have been a countryman. Yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah, I'll go black, but of a different nationality. Like Dominican. Yeah. Wow. There you go. Yeah, he's black. That's why you have to play. You have to. Worst audiobook narration William Hurt. Some very interesting William Hurt news that he has died. He was 71. And I saw these tributes coming out. And then I saw on Twitter a woman put out like, don't forget the guy you're saying all these wonderful things about like abused Marlee Matlin and raped her and beat her. And I was like, what? So I looked into that and she wrote a book in the 80s, Dawson. You should do her audiobook being give us a little this a little chapter about William. Her raping you. Jesus. Yeah, tell us about William Hurt raping you. Come on, Dawson, pass the whiskey. It's getting dark in here. And when. No, no, not like that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Whoa. What brought that up? Where did that come from over the line. Best true crime show reenactment. Michael was the Hollywood expert on Nancy Grace. Oh, my gosh, Really? I would love to hear what you have to say about. Out. Nancy. Nancy. We got so angry at me. This is when Chris Brown hit Rihanna, and this is when allegedly, Allegedly. They first put me on. This is right after it happened. And Nancy was like, so what do you think about. Wait, go ahead, Nancy. So what do you think about Chris Brown treating Rihanna like his own personal punching bag? Michael. Yo. Well, if it's true, I think it's horrible. You shouldn't slap away, woman. And then she goes, oh, so you're defending him. You're saying it's not true? I go, no, we just don't know. You're the lawyer. I can't have people on the show like, on tv, Like, I can't have people on the show that defends a. A woman being. I can't have people on my show defending some man punching Rihanna. Mrs. Umbrella. Ella. Ella. In the face. What is wrong with you, Michael. Yo, but Nancy, I, I, you know, let's wait till all the facts come in. I have all the facts I need. He had a big old smile on his face, and she had a eye that was swollen like a tennis ball. Yeah, but we don't know how she got that. I know how she got it. Michael, stop playing stupid. Defending the man. That's what Michael's famous for. If it's a boy, gotta be in the boys club. Michael, I think you can see yourself out. And that's literally how it went. Wow. Like, they cut me out. Oh, yeah. She was like, I can't have you on the show if you defend wife women beaters. And I was like, what do you. I don't know all the facts. I can't say it's true or not. She's a lawyer. She knows that. That's what she's asking me. I'm just a dude. Literally. They called me an hour before, I'm at home chilling, and then all of a sudden at the CNN building in Hollywood, and she's yelling at me. That's fabulous. And best strip club DJs, guys at the front row, Donut Peaches is here. And who's ready to check out the hole? Everybody? Let's do this. All right, after Donut Peaches, Candy Apples is coming up here at. Well, we like to call it. We call it, call it the busty chassis over here. It's kind of a euphemism for big gals driven now look, we can't attract some of the slender gals that Bob's classy ladies getting over there. Or dream girls or show girls or midnight rendezvous game. But we get what we call sloppy thirds over here. We got Little Debbie, who's ironically named Little, much like you name a short guy. Stretch. It's not Little. Little Debbie. We got Susie Q coming out here. We got Sarah Lee. They're all hitting the stage. That's right. Right. And with Sarah Lee. You want some coffee? She'll be chock full of nuts on Sunday night right here at Bus State Chassis. Don't forget to bring your nuts, fellows. Now normally we don't double up the guard railing around the stage. But we've had too many incidents with some of these cows losing their equilibrium wearing those stiletto heels. We've had a few busted stiletto heels and we put them all in corkies. Now because the stiletto heel just can't take the weight of some of our gals again. We don't have the gals they have at Rendezvous. We don't have the gals they have at Bob's classy lady. We get their husky younger sisters that are sliding by him. We know what you need, we know what you want. We don't dress it up with all those unnecessary expenditures. No frills is the way we do it at busty chassis. The 99 cent store of New Letterton. Wednesday we got a tribute to the great Meatloaf. The man left us way too soon. So come on in, do some carb loading, listen to Meatloaf superset and watch these gals tear up the stage. We got the 70s band, Vanilla Double Fudge. They're gonna be playing all their hits. Come on Wednesday. They're doing a super set over here. And don't miss Dixie's Midnight Runners. They're back from the 80s. Come on Eileen. And of course Eileen will be here. She of course operates in the Pendantly. But it's going to be a hut, hut, hut, hut show. I want Eileen, not her Christian name. It's what she does on stage. Cuz she's out of breath from trying to climb that pole. All right. And scene. Let's take a look back to the best musical moments on the Adam Corolla show this year. Hanson write you song. Something sweet that you can arm alone to. But when the night gets long so you got me there to remind you of all of our good times and the beautiful light you shine. That is why I'm going to write you a song. Vinnie Torich Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay Sucking cock in a mobile Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay Homo on the wall Adam and Blues Traveler Big bottom, big bottom Talk about mud flaps my girls got them Big bottom, drop it out of my mind how do I leave this behind? Wheeler Walker Jr. But girl, you were right the good Lord's amazing Cuz he came to me today in a very holy way. Got God told me to fuck you. God told me to lick your crotch. God told me to tell you to suck my dick. He told me he likes to watch Please believe me, baby it surprised me too when God told me to fuck you Adam Corolla, Delta dawn what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose? Some days gone by Adam and Gina now we both come in love Lost in love Here we go now. Oh, wow. Gymnastics. Tia Carrera. I can see it in your eyes and the words that you won't say well, I hear them anyway after all that we've been through don't you think I know you? This is me you're talking to and it's okay. Wow. You cried last time you were in here. Let's see if we can go two for two. Go. And Jean Simmons. I don't want you, I don't need you, I don't love you anymore. And I walk out the door, you'd be down on your knees, you'd be calling to me. Oh, no, that's just Rat rocks. Those are just some of the best musical moments in 2022 on the Adam Carolla Show. Now let's get back to the 2022 ACE Awards. I never thought about the Gene and Gene. That's Gene McDaniels. Never didn't know that. Yeah. Who? It was so bizarre that Gene Simmons. Not bizarre. I think there's weird shit I know that nobody else could possibly know. I love Gene McDaniels. I love Gene McDaniels because he was like. He did funny stuff and his songs were interesting and they had a lot of layers. And of course, Gene Simmons just dove right in. We didn't prep him. Like, we're doing some Gene McDaniels. He was like, pow, right in. And also, also, there was a time when black singers and white singers didn't really have this big chasm. Like, you didn't know who this guy was who was singing this song. I was. Earlier today, I was doing on the House, and we were playing Sam Cooke and Emmy. I hope you're all buckled in. Had no idea who fucking Sam Cooke was. What? Come on. But he was like, hey, I don't know, these white guy. Whatever. It's like, Sam Cooke is not white. I mean, far from it. And he heard. He heard another Saturday night. He heard 30 seconds of it and announced he was a white guy. Because in Emmy's young mind, black people sound black now when they. They sing. Back then, it was just Gene McDaniels was black, but there wasn't a big chasm between him and white was just music. Yeah, it's. I assume some of the songs were just timeless, Cupid and whatever twist in the night of white. Right. But if you think about Emmy's young ears, he's not hearing a black singer because it's not done in a black way. It's just singing. And if it was done in a black way, he would know it. It's not even so much the timbre, the voice. It's just like, this isn't a black guy because there's not all the black accoutrements attached to it. And back then, if it was done in a black way, it wouldn't get any radio play. Ronnie. But, I mean, everyone knew Sam Cooke was black, and they knew Sam Cooke, and he got spins. Although it was slow at the beginning. I'm sorry, I'm so distracted by. Is that your second tall glass of eggnog? It's got a lot of ice. Gina's a long shell. I get it. Ice is just frozen vodka. If there's anything you're not, it's lactose intolerant. No, I'm nothing. I have. I'm intolerant of certain races, but I don't have anything I can ingest that would do anything ever. God bless you. All right, so let's see. Best radio Front Cell. Oh, boy. The nominees for best radio Front cell are. Ted Nugent, Stranglehold, Back Inside the Toolbox. The only reason your ears pop on the quest of grade. A new study out suggests that sex is more satisfying with someone you know and trust. So ring me up on the request line and give me the name of someone you know and trust. Coming up Tomorrow, it's another two for Tuesday with double shots of classic rock from 8:00am to 10:00. And brought to you by Natty Light. Natty Light. It gets you drunk and that's why you drink. It's time for a guitargasm with this expert axe handler. The song is my first and only argument. Why? Terrible. Ted Nugent, the Motor City Madman belongs in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. Here I come, baby. Got you in a stranglehold on the toolbox. Led Zeppelin, ten years gone. We're back inside the toolbox, easing into a post Super Bowl Monday morning. The alarm's alerting, your head is hurting and you're not quite certain what's behind the curtain that's hanging over today. It's nice outside, too. Shadow Game how much did you drink yesterday? The good news is the English language is boundless. So here's a few new ways to say you were tore up from the floor up or beat down from the seat down. Whichever way you roll in the Deep south, you might say you were cork high and bottle deep. Maybe you were piflicated plots, pickled pumpkin, plowed skunked skin, tuned up, turned down, waylaid over the bay. Or maybe you simply acknowledge the corn. Well, here's to you, hero. Those beers weren't going to drink themselves. God forbid you watch that game sober. You knew that booze wouldn't change its mind once you got its top off. You knew yesterday that today was going to hurt, but you did not care. That was Tomorrow Guy's problem. Let him deal with it. Well, today is the tomorrow. You weren't worried about yesterday and now it hits you like a trucker convoy full of hearty Canadians. It's cold now, grab your blankie and go back to bed. Call in or call out. You can always blame it on the toolbox and lover boy, turn me loose inside the toolbox. Turning and burning, living and learning, overspending and under earning. The gas prices are high and so am I as we roll through yet another epic run of Smack Bash hit records. The greatest songs you've ever heard and some you may have never heard. You got your ears on, snowman? Winter is coming and so is Halloween. If you're looking for a great costume this year, go with someone who cares. That just might scare the hell out of everyone. Temps are dropping throughout the Southland faster than your 401k. With cooler weather all this week, it just might be time to steal back your favorite hoodie from your ex girlfriend. But wait a couple hours because she was still asleep when I left this morning. Traffic and weather together at the top of the hour. If there's a fork in the road, take it. If there's a cake on the counter, bake it. If the toilet is clogged, snake it. And if you love Canadian pop, break it. Speaking of Canada and the polite nature of just a boot, everything they do up there, here's a super sweet breakup song from the band Lover Boy. You don't gamble with the love of Mike Reno, ladies. You turn him loose on the toolbox. Oh, man. Second time around, you appreciate it more. Yeah, I'd say the winner is Dawson. Either way. Yeah. Yeah. Is Ted Nugent. Not in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. Not in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. So we're nominating Kraftwerk and Devo. 100% bullshit. So it's just all politics, is that. That's all politics. One, he. He is rock and roll. Like, he is a poster child for rock and roll. He's the guy doing a Rock and Roll hall of Fame. The guy wearing the chamois as a loincloth and firing a crossbow and playing that lick of stranglehold. He is rock and roll. I know that voting member Eddie Trunk has some thoughts on this. We'll bring it up next time he comes in. I'm just saying, everybody, you do run the risk of turning whatever your institution is into a fucking shit. Yeah. Like if you're something else now. If you. Hundred percent Bullshit. If you're the New York Times and you pick. Nope. As the number one film of the year, then we go, oh, we don't have to listen to you because you're just doing it because it's a black based film. And I get it. Like, I don't. And you're Rock and Roll hall of Fame. Like, oh, no. Ted Nugent. Oh, I see. There's other factors weighing in. So now we don't. And then you can nominate Devo Kraftwerk. And we go, oh, okay. You don't know what you're doing. All right. It's interesting, by the way, whatever the politics are, you put Ted Nugent in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. No one's gonna protest. What's the meaning of this? He's rock and roll. All right. Oh, do we have a winner? Oh, okay. I'm going with the. To me, the Zeppelin song. That was the strong. That was the strongest. That was the strongest. All right, let's see. If I had to pick, that's what I would have chosen. Ah, but you didn't. And it's Lover Boy. I had a feeling it might be. It's fantastic. I like. If there's a cake on the counter, bake it. If there's a Canadian singer, Drake it. Yeah. And Lover Boy always rhymed words with words that were the same word. So that was for that band. All right. The fifth installment of Interview of the Year. Right now, our fifth nominee for Interview of the Year, Gina Carano. So you Made a comment and you tipped your hand and we found out you're not one of us. And now you must go. Yeah. And it sure as hell felt like that. You know, when they're calling you, the publicists are calling you and they're, there's. They. The first thing they lead with is, oh, this isn't about politics. And I'm like, you know, are you putting your other, Are you putting your other people, your other actors through this? Are you harassing them, asking them? I mean, really, it's really, really, really ridiculous. Like, when you look back at my, you know, offenses, it's really kind of. I just, I can't believe grown ass adults from Lucasfilm were calling me and having these conversations because I put beep bop boot boop in my profile or because I wasn't for the lockdowns or because I was questioning the masks or I was questioning the vaccine. And I just feel like I cannot believe when I look back at the last, you know, year plus of my life that it was just that hateful. I mean, they went on Saturday Night Live and they called me a white supremacist and they had their whole entire company, like taking me off of. I mean, toys were just canceled. Nothing that I've done in my life deserved this kind of treatment. And the problem is they do this to someone. They try to make an example out of someone. In my case, you know, they try to make an example out of me and it scares everybody else from even touching the subjects. And so they've scared a lot of people into silence, into. And now we're like going into more and more problems because we weren't allowed to have these conversations. So it's just. And you know what? I'm fine. I'm good. I'm not trying to be like, everybody's like, oh, she's playing the victim or the martyr. I'm okay. I just, I knew I was going to be able to handle this. But it's pretty devastating though. Like, you know, fighting 10 years of my life and, you know, acting 10 years and finally getting to have my own show, which they'll say there was no show, but there was 100% a show. I got the call. They said they had okayed the pilot, the first episode, and it was all going to move along and that's fine. I don't want to ever shut down anybody else's voice. I feel like everybody can. I don't, I don't feel like you sign your rights away to have freedom of speech or an opinion when you sign on to do a project, you know, I do think that, you know, you have to hold responsibility. And if a company doesn't want to do business with you, I understand that as well. But the way they went about it with me is they publicly put it out there that I was like this at a really bad time, a really dangerous time to say that I was not tolerant of other races and religions. They basically put my life in danger. And it was just. It was just brutal. You know, it was an interesting time we passed through, which is as I've always said it was. None of this stuff was what it was for. Like, so if you went, I don't think you should wear masks outside. I don't think they're effective. Or, I'm not going to get my kid vaccinated or whatever. Or, I'm not down with pronouns. I don't care. It wasn't about pronouns. It wasn't about masks. It was about, oh, you're not down with us. See, it was a little test. Pronouns weren't pronouns. Who the fuck cares who anyone's pronouns are? They, them, he, she, is them, it doesn't matter. It's a test. They go, what's your pronouns? And you go, I don't give a fuck. And they go, okay, okay, you're not one of us. You just tested. You failed the test. So you're not one of us. And now we can cancel you. So Gina Carano got canceled not because she said anything, but because she identified herself as not one of fucking you. That's what, that's what she said. I don't, I don't have my pronouns. I don't care about pronouns. Like, by the way, you're going to ask a fucking cage fighter with their motherfucking pronouns, are you rich cards? You're gonna say fucking cage fighter. A fucking cage fighter to engage in your ship. It'll never happen. No fucking cage fighter. They're not fucking soft ass, willowy pussy asses like you are. They're fucking cage fighters. They're not soft pieces of lily soft shit. You guys are fucking charming. You were ruined by your motherfucking parents and your stepdad. Who more molested you. These are fucking cage fighters. They don't have fucking pronouns. They fight in a fucking cage. Don't be surprised if the cage fighters don't have their pronouns worked out. Our sixth nominee for rant of the year, right? Really? All you did was identify yourself. You just went, I'm not down with lockdowns. I'm not down with school lockdowns. I'm not down with pronouns. I don't want. Oh, you're on the other side. So now you get punished. And then you go, but why would you be punished for saying. I'm not down with pronouns like that. You're not being punished for being. Not down with pronouns. You're being punished for being. You identify the other. You raise your hand and you said you were the other. And that is what got you punished. Because nobody did anything. They just identified themselves as the other other. It's an awesome time for the people that hate McCarthyism. All right, where are we, Dawson? I got fired up. Third nominee for song of the year. Our third nominee for song of the year. Mike lynch and Rich Banks for Fondelier posted Lands gonna get hurt. Destroys the toilet each day it work can't flush it down, Flush it down one more we'll need a plumber's call Both filling up pipes jamming up he'll fill it up, fill it up 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, Stink. 1, 2, 3,1, 2, 3, stink. One, two, three, one, two, three, stink. Light a match and it'll blow out no one can cheat like Matt Fonderly. Matt Fonda Lee. He's gonna shit like he ate a bunch of blue cheese A wheel of blue cheese is going to crap and use all the eyes of Ey. The smells burning your eyes. No one can shit like Matt Fonderly. Matt Fonderly. Oh. Oh. Miss that fucking cab. So I gotta say, Porcelain Punisher may be some of my best work in terms of handles. Oh, yeah. In terms of nicknames. He got so many. Great. He's in there shitting. A lot of people could go with toilet or commode or bathroom. And this makes him seem, which he is, heroic. The Porcelain Punisher. Yeah. He'll be missed. Big pun. All right, now we move on to outstanding achievement in shitting On a Point or Story. Interesting. Nominees for outstanding achievement in On a Point or Story are. Bald. Bryan. Oh, boy. Feels. I mean, I. Sorbo, I. I don't think. I know Sorbo is conservative, but I don't think he's pushing it out there that, that hard. But maybe he is. I. I don't know. I watched a. I watched a faith based film starring Kevin Sorbo called God's not Dead. He's pushing it out there, is he? He's pushing out his faith and everything else. But is he really pushing the Hunter Biden thing? He is. Oh, the Hunter Biden thing. I don't know. He claims that he can't get work because he's conservative and not because he's Kevin Sorbo. Well, it limits it. It hobbles your ability to work in Hollywood. But. But if you're. If you're. If you're John Voight, you can probably overcome it, but I don't know if Sorbo can. But it is a thing. I mean, if you're conservative, it definitely limits. It definitely hurts you in Hollywood, but these guys. Clint Eastwood's made a movie a year for the last 20 years. Yes, Brian, you're always right. It does. Is it a push, or what would it be if you came out as conservative? What do you think for Kevin Thorpe? You text me down for a one? No, I just mean in general. Do you. Would it just be if you just come out as conservative? All joking aside? Yes. It can't help your case. I. I think it hurts. Do you think it hurts? Yeah. Yeah, I think he's agreeing with you. It's a. It's a degree. I don't know how much, but it definitely hurts your. Your hireability. Mike August, the yearly who's getting tossed out of Jon Hamm's. Oh, boy. Roto League ceremony took place last night, so we'll have coverage of that. We all wait for this all year. Mine, It's Jon Hamm, it's Bill Simmons, it's Sal, it's Damascus, Jack Hanch, all the usual suspects. And being super hot doesn't save you. In fact, it could hurt you. No. At the end, whoever wins gets to toss out anyone they want this year. Evidently, John Ham won last year. So now he gets to decide, well, didn't Ham get booted years ago? Does he exact revenge? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Mike. Was he booted last year? Mike August. Who? Oh, John Hammer. No. Several years ago, he was booted very hilariously, but not since then. Everyone gathers and there's some discussion, and then it comes time to talk. Somebody, Right? Yeah. There's a tension in the room because everybody's, you know, like a cat on a hot tin roof. Who's it going to be this year? John Hand's the reigning champ. He gets to make the pick. They sit down around the table, and sure enough, boy genius Dave Damaschek is this year's, you know, excommunication and deserved it. Well, hugely. I mean, he walked into this hugely. I thought we were gonna look at the tape and have that reveal set it up. Oh, you can set it up. Okay. But if you just see it, you won't get it. You gotta know why. Well, I saw a tape of John Ham tossing out Dan Amishek. Yeah, but you don't know why he did. Okay, okay. Find out. Mike, you've been in showbiz for a while, Right. I understand. Visuals versus audio. There's no. There's no setup. No, I want to hear John Ham. See him getting. Okay, all right, I'm. It's called setup in the business. Maybe you've heard of this. And then it's set up and then reveal. I'll tell you why it happens. Then when you see, you go, oh, wow. That's why it happened. I get it. Okay. That's not. Said it. All right. I would have preferred to unveil. We call it a ball tickle. I like to. All right, well, go ahead, watch it, and then ask me what happened. Okay, we'll do that now. Spoiler alert. The guy tossed out is Dave Dashek. All right, there's no, you know, there's a bunch of guys at the table. It happens in five seconds. Okay. All right. Right. Still prefer to have John say, but. All right, here we go. And Bert Kreischer. Yeah. It's funny you brought up Roseanne Barr, because I was going to bring her up later, but I figured we'll do it with Bert here as well, which is. There was a. So Roseanne was canceled from her own show for sending out some tweet about Valerie Jarrett, who was like, Obama's chief of staff or some. Some version of that. And I don't know, she made some sort of joke, like, she looks like she's in the plan of the apes or something. And then she got destroyed, and then she got pulled from her own show, and she got. She got canceled. And then later on, either she's doing a podcast or tweet or something where she went, I thought the bitch was white. Yeah. And I was like, I thought the bitch was white, too. Like, it's a. It's a pretty. It's. It's a. It's. It's a. Look, it's a sustainable argument. Like, if you're in a court of law and someone accused you of making a racist joke, and you're like, I thought the chick was white. So then. So then Valerie Garrett, Jared put out a tweet yesterday, and if there's, of course, shooting, she's gonna mask forever because she's a crazy bitch. And I looked at it, and I went, yes, it does look like she looks like a white woman, or you wouldn't know. She's a black woman. I'll put it to you that way. She looks like a black woman. You think so? That's Brian's job. That's Brian's job. We have a tag team. We're living in a world where Meghan Markle doesn't look like a black woman. And she's not a black woman, she's a half black woman. And Valerie Jarrett doesn't look like a black woman. And if you go, like, I got in this argument with somebody where I was like, I was like, kaepernick doesn't look black. Oh, what do you mean doesn't look black? Well, yes, if I put a nine foot afro wig on and dress like fucking Malcolm Triple X, then I would look black. But if you look at him coming out of college, he looks Syrian or something. He looks Middle Eastern. Like there's this thing, it's, you know, they go, everyone goes, oh, you're attacking a black person. I don't know that half the people know these people are black. And it's because they're not black. They're half black. And that's why they don't look fully black. And that's. So we're in this weird world where if you're half black, you're full black like Obama. But if you present like I don't know what you are, then people get into trouble for making fun of you because you're a black person, but you don't present like a black person. It's just what Martin Luther King wanted. Bert Kreischer, everybody learn from best. Yes. Well deserved. Well deserved. All right, let's see, what do we got? Rant of the year here. Number three. Number three. Our third nominee for rant of the year, coffee shop kindness. Sign. I stopped at a coffee shop and it had one of those proclamations on front of it. Do we need a decree? This every house most needed decree. Like, we welcome those who love love and who don't judge judgment. And we're LGBT and we're Ukraine friendly and we love retarded Chihuahuas here. Like, can we just come into your goddamn house and eat something? Do we have to make a decree this. You need to push out your on everybody in the United States. States. It's a goddamn coffee shop. I. All I wanted was a coffee and a muffin. Do they have to tell me their creed? Here's what we believe in. Oh, I hope everyone's sitting down. They believe in love, intolerance and acceptance. And there's. They're, oh, they're. Not against. They're against racism. So they're. There'll be no more clan rallies at the fills in Costa Mesa. Fills with a C. Bills with a fucking sea in Costa Mesa. There'll be no more clan rallies there because. There we go. Here it is. What. What does that thing say? Be respectful. Treat all members of our community with respect and kindness. What community? The coffee community. Harassment of any kind is not welcome. Do not discriminate. We do not tolerate racism, hateful language, or discrimination of any kind. This is Costa Mesa in 2022 at one in the afternoon. How much bigotry, racing, racism is actually going down at Phil's fucking Coffee? Oh, God, please spare me your decrees, everyone. I don't give a fuck what you think. And by the way, you don't give a shit. You just want to push this shit out here. So we think, oh, this is a safe place to get coffee. Contribute to a positive welcoming environment. Use our spaces as intended. Our mission is to better people's days one cup at a time. We strive for hospitality that is warm, welcoming and genuine. We love bringing people together and creating a community that inspires kindness. Thank you for your love, support and loyalty. Much love from Phil's. All right. Thank you, Dawson. By the way, I used the bathroom. I took a shit. I didn't flush. That's what that inspired me to do. What was that from? That was from San Diego. Yeah, I was from San Diego. I was trying to San Diego stuff to fills. I, I All I hope for now because I'm at the point where I'm like, I. I've lost every, every hand. I've played a poker. I just. I hope the casino doesn't burn down. I'm. Now, I'm not trying to recoup losses. I'm not trying to break even. It's all a fucking bust. The only thing I hope for now is that everyone looks back on this time and laughs at all you fucking retards. That's all I hope. All your fucking pronoun talk and all your proclamations, that's all I can. I'll be dead. I'll be dead. I just pray that my son lives long enough to look back at this time when politicians are talking about healing and love and a place at the table while the fucking. While everything burns. That's all I hope for. I just fucking hope that my son lives long enough that he can spill a little Dubonnet on ice Dubonne on my fucking headstone and go, you're right, we're all laughing. At these fucking idiots with all their fucking talk about nothing. That's all. That's all I can hope for now. It's your Christmas wish. That's my wish. All right. Oh, we got a song of the year. Number four. Number four. Our fourth nominee for song of the year. Mike Lynch, Mike Dawson and Rich Banks for Let Me on the Jet. Fine. If you've got some fucking regulation or protocol or time, whatever the fuck it is that says I can't get on the plane even though I'm there, then why don't you fucking explain it to me? So I'm just left there going. Ready to strangle somebody, August, shake a tail feather. The plane doors are closing. No flight delay for weather. Loxy Anatoma in the cabin. La, you're gonna hear the plane leave while you're still on the ground. But United decided to close the gate. And August so freaked out. Let me on the jets God damn it all. The security line F him over. He needed TS pre. He's going to blow a fuse in his brother's shoes with a bag of hotel tp. Oh, let me on the jet. I mean, we are just all a bunch of cows to them. And if the cow gets away from the herd, well, that cow can die. What do we care? We get. I get paid the same whether everybody gets on that plane or not. So I'm not extending myself one hitch. Hey, guys, we're all in this together. Ace, man woke up late. But we're finally in the Uber. It's going to be all right. We got TS3. Well, it worked for Ace and Chris. It didn't work for me. They say, where is Mike? We ain't seen him yet. Oh, but he's so damn close. La la la Let me on the jets what the fuck is wrong with these people? He just made it through security. The intercom screams out his name. He says, United sucks. I paid bookoo bucks to get my first class. Oh, let me on the J. Here I am. You can put me on a plane. He's like, huh? And that's on you, United. You're, you're. You. Some of your employees literally should be exited from the building because they are at a private ceremony. Last month, aces were awarded by the Board of Governors to celebrity guests in the following categories. Best hotel clerk. I'm at The Bakersfield Motel 6, room 666. And we'll see you later tonight. We'll leave the light on for you. All right. Wait, 666? Yeah. What's the night clerk Sound like at the Motel 666. I heard you wanted breakfast in bed, so we had a fat person five omelet, a Denver omelette all over your sheets. Do you have the continental breakfast? Up yours, honky. Hey, can I get a late check? Check out. Of course. Into eternity. Do you guys have a shuttle to the airport? Up your ass, farm boy. We're going out to dinner. Can I just leave my bag at the front desk so I don't have to bring it into the room? I'll meet you at the Golden Corral. We'll be sitting in the corner and Rebel Wilson Underpants. You're out of regular coffee. The decaf thermos is still full, but there's no more regular. Gonna brew up a new batch. Crap your ankles and sniff your jingle bells. Hey, I do we need the key to get back into the building after midnight. My wife didn't bring her key with her. Drive a Prius right up here. What's that? Satan. How's that again? You guys? Do you guys have rewards? Miles, do you have a rewards club? Satan needs a sip of Satan's out of breath. Does the shuttle leave every hour because the airport's only about 15 minutes away, or does it just turn around and leave every time it fills up? Stop at Arby's and I'll put melted cheese on your soul. Most surprising gay moment. Speaking of nomenclature, I feel like Gina would know it, if. Not Gina, certainly. Randy. Why is drag called drag? I don't know. God damn it, Randy. It's on you, buddy. Because the dress is usually drag on the floor. I love it. That's good. I'm gonna go with that. Yeah. Yeah. So there's all. I don't know the obsession with drag queens. I don't get it. I. Everybody stop. You're absolutely right. Did you make that up or did you know that already? Came to my head. I'd never heard it before, but that's exactly what their petticoats are. Drag on the floor. Wow. Okay. See that? Sorry. You go on. Oh, look. The ultimate renaissance vested me on a subject I thought I was an absolute expert at. Mma. Heavyweight comes in here and schools you up on drag queens. My favorite form of entertainment. I am. I am so ashamed. Most stirring tribute. I didn't get to say bye to Fondelier. Didn't get to give him a proper send off or jerk off. So I'd like to. I have a special friend that would like to read a real quick poem for him, if you don't mind. Cue me up some tunes. Well, hey, guys. Dr. Phil here. And look, life's all about choices. And. And a choice has been made to relocate. And that's fine. Okay. I wrote a little poem to my newly departed friend Matt, otherwise known as Gloves. Roses are red, violets are blue. There's only one man I fantasized about, and it's you. From the way your eyes sparkle to the way you send mail, I'm impressed. Your conversations never get stale. I love your heart, your compassion, your dedication to the job and how you have the face of a mat but the bottom of a rob. Off to Austin you go where strange wieners you'll blow. But LA will always be home. I love you to death more than SpaghettiOs and meth. I'll miss your head, your lips, your. And your crack. Don't be a stranger. Gloves. We'll be right back. Oh, excellent. I need a minute. Excellent. Love you, Maddie. Best insult by a rock. Rock star. And we do. We do a thing called a tool tune. And a tool tune is a song that everyone loves, but they're kind of embarrassed that they love it. And I looked. I was looking at your roster, your. Your. Your. Your chart of songs as I was coming in here, and I thought, the song alone. Yes, Classic tools. I love that song, but I. I don't love the notion of America knowing I love that song. Does that make sense? Yeah, that'd make you be a pussy. See, Ann Wilson gets it. Best celebrity farts. Last time Dave came here, he made us laugh heartily with his celebrity hand. Far farts. I know you get asked all the time, but how about a Debbie Reynolds? I do get. You know, do you do Debbie Reynolds? Every day I get asked that. Oh, really? Oh, every day, man. I was kidding. I didn't know. Here's. Here's Debbie. Do you want to name a film? I mean, look, do you want to get really specific here, or you just want Debbie Reynolds? Like, is she walking out of a pool? Is she. She. Carrie Fisher is drinking a Coke and smoking a cigarette. She's a little tired of her crashing in the bunk house. Thinks she should. Yeah, that's. It's a little. It's a little loose back there. You don't know until you hear it. Yeah, it's like she's here. That's. That's Debbie keeping the Hollywood legend theme going. I. Baby, this is a bit of a deep poll, but Marlon Brand towards the end, like, I love Dr. Moreau, Don Juan, DeMarco, the Graduate or the Freshman. I mean, yeah, okay, here we go. Now, let's say that was it. Let's say Gwyneth Paltrow is doing research for a new candle. And she's, like, in the lab, and she's got her team around her. You know, she's no chemist. I gotta stretch for this, but here we go. What would that sound like? Oh, that's it. Yeah, that's exactly right. To the point. Yeah, man. You do not mince farts. No. Boom. They say brevity is the soul of farts. Best celebrity pants story. And so now I will tell you the story of the other time I. My pants. That's good. How about that? Well, that's fine. Still a deal with her. Okay. What I would do is if I was doing a play or I was doing a show with kids, they'd get bored, and then I would start a fart war. And basically a fart worse, where you walk by a kid, great movies, you farted them, right? Farts war, fart work. And you farted him, and he keeps score. They fart at you, you farted them. And I'm an older man, so I'm pretty good farter. Sure. And so I would start a fart war. I get it going. I'm up like 8, 4 on some kid. I see him standing over at craft service. I've got one locked and loaded. So I walk up on this kid. He's just getting his breakfast and a fart. But I shat my pants, right? At craft services. It was the morning, and I knew it was. And I knew it happened instantly. And so I just. You win, by the way. Yeah. Well, no, I waddled up to my room, and I had to see what the damage was. And so I ditched my pants. And I'm like, now pants are okay. Underwear, goodbye. I ditched my underwear, and then I have to take them down in a bag and dump them down in a dumpster, right? You know, because I'm so fancy, right? You know, you've got the tour coming by. You gotta wave, be cool. And I got back there, and then I cleaned myself up. I freeballed it for the rest of the day because, you know, there was trouble. And then I got a call in my dressing room saying, hey, were we're ready for you. And so I go down, I hit all my jokes, and they let me go. Now, the point is, even if you. Your pants, you got to be a pro. That's right. That's true. Yeah. For Snub of the Year, the deaf frat guy and craziest celebrity floor flight. Laura Dern's on our flight, which is weird because we specifically requested a non. We requested a non dirt flight. She's there. She's there. The rizzes on our. In the thing. We're like, if this plane goes down, we don't even get mentioned in the. In the. So midway through the flight, I'm going. Richard Simmons is sitting on. In the front. Okay. On the first row. He's, like, stowed his back up against the wall and legs underneath Duran's seat like he's a piece of luggage. And he's talking to her about, I guess, Ben Harper breaking up with her. They're both sobbing. They're sobbing. I go to go to the bathroom, and Richard Simmons stops me from the bathroom, and he's like, I want to kiss you on the lips, and I want to take you to Italy to me. Wow. To which I'm like, what, you're not going to say anything to me? We're twins. Yeah. He knows where it is. So he's like. I was like, richard, I am a happily married man. Are we talking about the Amalfi Coast? I could do that if it were separate. No, but so. And then he grabs Randy's hand. I watch this, grab my hand, pulls my hand down to me. I'm looking at Laura Dern, who's literally at my face. I'm like, dern, Dern, what are we doing here? Dern. Dern. He takes my thumb and starts sucking my thumb. Richard Simmons. Now, imagine, like, a goat at a petting zoo with nipple confusion. So imagine if I did that to a random woman on the flight. I just grab her hand and she starts, no, we would know who the air marshal was. Like a hot summer, they'd be up and you'd be down, and they'd be on your back. Wow. So much good there. A cavalcade of stars. Weird side note, apropos of nothing but where I live, it's getting down into the 30s at night. It's like 43 degrees this morning when I'm standing out in the backyard, Phil walked right out, got in the pool, took a big, fat, slow lap around the pool and just got out. 40 fucking degrees outside it is. I got in the pool this morning, too. It is fucking freezing. The air is freezing. The pool is freezing. Phil's taking a dip, and he's not taking a fast dip. He's just taking his leisurely lap. The fake had frost on it when he got out and was, like, rolling around. What do you make of that I don't know. He's a water dog. He likes to poo his boss. He doesn't seem to be affected by it. He does a move where I get in the pool. I go down the deep end and I hang on to the coping on the deep end, and it's fucking freezing. Like, steam's coming out of my mouth. Then he comes over and he brings a toy. And then I have this weird deal with the devil, which is if he drops his toy and it goes down to the bottom of the pool, I gotta go get it. But he kinda hangs right by the edge with this thing and he goes. He kind of throws it around his mouth a little. And sometimes he just looks at me like I'm in the pool. He's up on the deck and he's looking down at me. He's all jowl. His jowls are so big. They take over his eyes. His eyes get jowls. I just look up at him and there's like steam coming out of his mouth. And he just sort of sits there. But he grabs toy. But he will drop it in the pool because he doesn't care. Doesn't know. But the rule is, if it goes in the pool, I have to go down and. And get it. Did he spare you today? Yeah, I got it yesterday. Today I went in, but he just goes in and does. Does a slow lap. It's 40 degrees. Freeze. It's fucking freezing. He just walks around. He doesn't have any thoughts about it. He might not be the God, but he is a God. He's a demigod. If it was a normal size and weight, would he engage in this behavior? I don't. I don't know what a normal lab would do in freezing conditions, but he's not bothered by it. This is also the dog that takes a snooze next to a jackhammer. So he just doesn't really have feelings like the rest of the pulse. Right? Yeah. All right. Interview of the year number six, our sixth nominee for interview of the Year, Dane Cook. You got this whole story about your half brother embezzling millions of dollars, and it was just part of the reason I filmed it at my house. I almost lost that house that I'm standing. Oh, really? Yeah. I sat on that porch with him two weeks before I put him in prison. He's your older half brother. So he was on whose side? On my. My mom's previous marriage. And he's how much older? Six years. And was he an accountant or was in the Business or was he a manager? He. He, you know, had a bunch of jobs in a man managerial position. But what was interesting is mid-90s, he was a corrections officer at Walpole State Prison, Cedar Junction, one of the hardest maximum security on the East Coast. And he was working there. And I said, I want you to quit that job and come work, you know, for your baby brother and bring you on the road with me, and I'm going to try to figure out how to make this career work. To which he responded, you're not even making anything really of yourself. How do you expect me to be on this ride? But I was like, I don't want you to work at the prison. It makes me nervous. He'd already been attacked by an inmate, so he quit that job to come work for me and help me, like, pay my bills and pay the rent. How much did he embezzle? We did a forensics audit as far back as I could go. And I went 12 years back, which was about as far back. I mean, millions and millions and millions and millions. So was there any of it left by the time he caught on? I wish I could say he was a great investor. He, you know, you know, he knew the right stocks and spots to circumvent. But the reality was, no, there's really nothing. Those scraps. And it went on for 12 years at least. I mean, it could have gone on from the first day that I brought him on board. I don't know. And how did you become aware of it? I became aware of it because I wanted to buy my first home from the special. And what year was this? This was 12 years ago. So I, you know, I've been up at the house since 2010. And I was like, hey, listen, because my company's back in Massachusetts, I want to do things on the up and up. I'm going to be a permanent resident here. I need to move the file cabinet here. So I said, just send the file cabinet. There's a new person taking over your job and you're going to do fulfillment. Sure, pick anything. Just let's enjoy this ride together. And he was, you know, kind of shucking and jive and wanting to send the file cabinet. And about eight months later, I. I was in bed and I woke up. I literally woke up and sat right up and said, I think my brother's stealing my money. And I went right to B of A. And it was the beginning of a new era for me. Wow. How long did he get put away for Eight years? He did five and I put him back in the prison that I brought him out of to work for me. Wow. Everybody's got a story, man. And the, and the moral of the story is don't trust family. That's what I. Well, you know, it's interesting. I think about it with my own life a little bit, which is. And I'm going to sound self righteous, but I'm just, I don't lie to people. I would never dream of X, Y or Z. It's not because I'm a good person. I just, I wish I wouldn't steal stuff from people. It's like, I wouldn't do it. It's not like I'm virtuous or I'm better than you. It's just like I. It's like, it's like someone said. If someone said to me, how much poi is consumed worldwide every year, I'd go, zero. No one likes poi. I don't like poi. I just don't. I don't do it. So other people must not do it. But you do get burned when you realize there's plenty of people who are willing to lie and steal and deceitful and like, rip you off and rip off the government and rip you off business wise and whatever that is. And you're like, you're always caught off guard because you're like, it's not even about like, my own brother or my own sister. It's just like, who would do that? You know what I mean? The people that get pushed onto subway tracks in New York are standing by the edge thinking, who would push any? I would never do this. And that's where the trouble is. Not virtuous at all. But as it comes to stealing money in this situation, there's the paper trail for everything you're getting. No one gets away with it. Not now they don't. But the people that get victimized by it are never made whole again. It's like essentially you got hit by a drunk driver and your wife was killed. Like, oh, now they're doing nine years. But is your wife ever alive? You're never made whole again. But it's more about the part where you just go, so the victim. The twin towers are down because we said, who would fly a plane into a building? Nobody would fly. I would never fly. Could you imagine you flying a plane? That's where the problem happens. All right, rant of the year number four. Coming up, our fourth nominee for rant of the year year real estate rules. Let me tell something to all the Young kids listening. There is no mother fucking thing. There's no such thing as good credit. There's just bad credit and then there's credit because I just refinanced my house and I get back with my guy, my money guy, and he's like, well, we had it all set up with this one bank, but you're going through a divorce, so they won't do it. So the other bank will do it, but it's another 2,400 bucks a month. And I'm like, not that it's any of your business, I'm like, I, in the course of my life have, I've probably done about $40 million worth of mother real estate. Of warehouses and condos and homes and renovations. All been bought cheap, sold for a lot. Every fucking note has been paid, every, every I has been dotted, every T has been crossed over the course of 25 years. 25 years of just buying multi million dollar property. I'm not, not 30 million dollar, probably $7 million this or 2 million dollar thing that you sold for 7 million. But that's all I've ever done for 20 fucking 5 years uninterrupted. And if I fucking found a warehouse across the street and I talked to my guy, he'd go, they need 20% down. And I'd go, can't we do it with 10%? They're not new intent. But where's Mr. Drysdale? Where's the banker? Where's the guy I grew up watching? Do you get good credit? I know there's bad credit. I know you get punished for bad credit. You fucking defaulted on a couple of fucking payments for your credit card and now you're going down to Galpin Ford. You want to get a Mustang and you go, you got, you got bad credit. But if in fact there is such a thing as bad credit, then shouldn't there be something called good credit for motherfuckers who just buy shit times? I mean, I wouldn't even, I can't even sit down and list you all the condos, all the houses, all the warehouses, all the shit I bought over the course of 25 years and never missed a payment. No foreclosures, no defaults, no nothing. I get fucking treated like any motherfucking other person on the plane that give two shits on this crazy history of buying for and making on time payments on, on commercial real estate or properties or land or anything. They don't give two fucking shits. And everyone thinks I'm an asshole. Fuck you. You go out and Get a bunch of fucking. You earn a bunch of credit and do a bunch of shit and never miss a payment and then just get lumped in with all your poor sad sacks asses. This is considered evolved. Yeah. AOC likes the notion that I don't get special treatment. And it's like, you. You get special treatment because you earn it. Like, when you're in prison, you get time off for good behavior because you don't fucking start race riots if it's good enough for them. Yeah, that's your good credit. You work in the fucking laundry and you fold your motherfucking shirt and then you go back to your cell and then we go, oh, he's okay. There's a version of that in life which is, I make my payments, I take care of my liabilities. Like, that's, you know, like a loan officer. Yeah, don't shank him. And now I get a little something I know that pisses everyone off. Like, and they always do the same thing. Why should you get. It's not me, it's anybody who takes care of. Why should you? Look, if you attack a stewardess on a plane, then you'll get put on a list and then you'll go, why do you get to walk unencumbered onto a flight? It's like, cause I didn't attack. I've never attacked a fucking stewardess. That's why I didn't fuck up. That's how life works. I know. We don't like it. Do you know the FICO score feels like it's been around for 100 years? You know when the FICO score started? Mm mm. 1989. Really? Yeah. I don't even know it's an acronym for. Must be an acronym. Something. Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah. All right, well, we'll buy you a little time because we'll play you Drops, Dawson and guest. And Brian's gonna announce the winner of this one. Brian, you want to introduce your category? Oh, set him up. Which one are you doing first? I'm sorry, I was caught off guard by that. It's on your run down there. Okay. The Drop of the year from Mike Dawson. No, the nominees for best drop By Dawson are. But Mama, white people are the worst. Am I right? If I go crazy, then will you still call me super gay? Hey, sorry I'm late, guys. I was taking a crap. That guy, he's with the Blacks. All good, all timeless. All ones you're going to hear again. But the winner. But Mama, well done. That's from. What's Happening. I'd like to thank Raj. Raj for that. Yeah, Dee. Yeah. I always think of that commercial for the K tail, Smokey Robinson when they go, but dad, it's Smokey. Oh, man. I think it was dad. So you got mama. You got dad. Our next drop category. The nominees for best drop by a guest guests are. T.J. miller. That's true. I. I've had that experience. William Shatner, tectonic plates. John Force. You're a funny Jill Zarin. If it flies, floats or fox, you shouldn't buy it. You shouldn't raise. Rented and lunel. I just collect the checks and do my job. God. A murderer's row of drops this year from guests. Thanks to all the guests who were drop worthy. But the winner is. That's true. I. I've had that experience. Useful, funny, but what it led to, TJ spun out for and Heckleby the rest of the. The rest of the episode. You two became quick adversaries. Lots of fun. Sorry, sir. Sorry. Make fun of Jill Zarin. But that. That was sage sound and sagely for her. Credit where it's due. I think the William Shatterdrop made me laugh the most. I remember laughing my ass off. Tectonic Place. Because he was very sincere. He was. He was genuinely earnest. Final drops category. The nominees for drop of the year are. Just because you're loud doesn't make you right. Spazzing on that ass. People dying is bad fun. I'm sucking off this guy's hog, but I wish it was yours. Call now. Because I want your Packer in my mouth. I feel overrepresented in this category. And the winner. This. Oh, this can't be right. Oh, I think for the first time in ACE Awards history, we have a tie. What? Two great drops, both worthy. Call now because I want your Packer in my mouth. Just because you're loud doesn't make you right. Wow. It's an honor to share this with you, Adam. I've had to happen sooner or later. Yeah, we'll share it like the Stanley Cup. That's right. Gina gets a week with it. Adam gets a week with it. All right, all right. FICO is the fair. Isaac Corporation, a data analytics company. Didn't see that coming. But when you get your score, you're like, fuck it. Come on, fico. Yeah, yeah, Come on. No, the way Fico scores work is you could buy millions and millions of dollars of commercial real estate. Or you could be a librarian who gets a Discover card and pays it off every single month and adds $10 to your $321 monthly payoff payment. And you would have a higher FICO score than the guy who got millions, hundreds of millions of dollars of commercial real estate. All I know is Leica swim. Shut the fuck up on his FICO score. Oh, he loved it. And time spent listening. Those were his two scores. That's right. Ts. TSL spent. Yeah, TSL there. Number one of the demo. FO and tsl. Those were his things. All right, we have our final nominee and song of the year. Huh? Song of the year. That's right. Our final nominee for song of the year, Rich Banks and Mike lynch for Goodbye Gina's Big Boobs. All these things have stopped me from doing something I've wanted to do for 20 years. Say goodbye to thee. No. Why are they going to shrink down? Why are they going away? They should have stayed in the bra. Doesn't matter how much they weigh. I know your bra can't hold them forever. The straps created a groove. The sweat of melons causing back pain. This song I'm sad to be singing the boots. So goodbye Gina's big Bo. Your cleavage was over a mile. Can't stand the weight of the Titus. Causing the shoulders to slouch back to a chest without its own zip code. And he's on suicide one. Oh, she's finally decided to cut bra size. Goodbye though. That is a beautiful song and quite moving. I gotta put you guys on the side spot. I'm wearing a form fitting top with a little bit of cleavage. How about that? It's still good. Yeah. So proportionate. Absolutely. Oh, Brian doesn't seem like he's remotely being serious. No, no, of course. All right, so Rich Banks and Lynch and Dawson. It's why we shouldn't have the reverence for Weird Al. Now Weird Al's basically a sport and his sport is curling. And so when you watch the pole vault or NBA basketball, you go, couldn't do that. But when you watch curling, you go, eh, I can use a brown. Give me a week. Yeah. So Rich Banks shit is a lot better than Weird Al's shit. So that's why we shouldn't all bow at the altar. At the altar, Weird Al. We could go, yeah, that's fine. I got no problem with. But we shouldn't love him that much because he doesn't fucking do anything. Converted my Sharon into my bologna. That's something any nine year old, any nine year old, any nine year old on the fucking planet could do. That's probably true. Okay, the winner. Go ahead. You Ready? This is, by the way, song of the Year. Song of the Year. Fondelier. Well done. Sorry, Gina, but well done. I. I love this. I miss him. I love that song. Dude, Elton John is pissed. Yeah. Maybe that's why he left Twitter. It's angry. And I forgot I had two boob songs. I know, I know. That was. That was a sandwich. Still coochie. It divided the sandwich. Yeah. Oh, you split the vote. I split the vote. Each boob split the vote. Like when an independent comes into the race. That's right. All right, we have another number seven for Interview of the here. Our seventh and final nominee for Interview of the Year, Joe Coy. You got to remember the time that we live in, the generation that we live in. So time sucks. Yeah, it's. It's 1980s, very racist time. But. But you're living in it as if it's normal and it's accepted. Yeah. You know what I mean? So, like, my mom is dealing with racism, and that's why you got to appreciate immigrants that come to this country during that time, because it's like, what the fuck are they supposed to do? You know what I mean? Like, I still remember vividly when we won this prize at JCPenney, this free TV, and we're going up the escalator and to go collect the prize, the tv, and this little kid, because my mom loves little kids. She goes, oh, hi. He's so cute. Look at the hair. He had blonde hair. Blonde hair. Oh, so cute. And then he turned. Turned around and pulled his eyes back, went, oh, boy. And I. And I've never seen anything like that. You know what I mean? I didn't know what that is. You live on the military base. You don't see that because we're all mixed up. You know what I mean? And I just remember looking at my mom, I go, what was that? And then my mom goes, oh, he's just trying to be funny. And that's her way of dealing with it. And that sucks. You know, like, it's hard to put yourself in those shoes in those times and understand that it's like, wow, we don't. She calls herself American, but she can't really feel American because that's how she's dealing with it. When she watches tv, what's her role models like? She doesn't have role models. Like, what does she do? There's no Instagram. There's no Facebook. You know, we had three channels back then, and if you had cable, you had to be kind of rich. And the Reason why I was gravitating towards black comedians or Latino comedians is because they have similar struggles and stories. You know what I mean? Like, I get it. Like, I have that Uncle Gus and I, and we are poor. So now you're 16, living in Seattle. Are you on a base? No, we're living off base. Off base. And it wasn't a good time. It wasn't a good time. And everyone's poor. And everyone's poor. My dad and mom are going through rough times, and my brother has schizophrenia. Oh. And he's beating the. Out of my dad. He's punching my mom in the face. Face every other week. Is he a little older than you? Yeah, he's eight years older than me. Oh, boy. And. And that's when the divorce happened, when my brother is just uncontrollable. It's horrifying. It comes on usually 19 or 20. Like, and it comes on and there's all these night terrors and all this shit going on. It's horrifying for views. And it's crazy because it's literally. What is that door? The revolving door of personality. And every now and then, you'll catch Robert, you know, and it's fun and it's loving. It's fun. And then that door just. It turns that fast, and it sucks. Is he around? Yeah, he calls me. And then, you know, and it's fun because sometimes he'll call. It's a hard pickup, man. You know? I mean, like, you got to decide when you want to pick up, and you got to really be like, I like to pick up when no one's around, you know? I mean, and I also like to pick up when I'm not about to go on stage or I'm on my way on the road, right? I gotta be. It's gotta be like a Monday at a specific time where I have time for that. But he'll call, we'll have fun, we'll laugh. And then, boom, he's right back into, like, I'm going into detective school. And, you know, I'm under, you know, investigating this thing right now. You know, just hang tight, man. But there's spies looking at you right now, Joe, because you just have to, like, he's not on his meds. I don't even think even on his meds. He's. He's. That. It's. I feel bad talking about him, but, you know. But that was the. The mental. That was the mental. What am I trying to say? That was the therapy I needed because I kept it in for so long. Everybody's got a story. Oh, no. Well, now, interview of the year. Boy, oh, boy. What the hell? A lot of good ones. Let's see. Joe Coy. Oh, he deserves. Well deserved. Hometown boy. Hometown ringer. Love, Jo Koy. Such a sweetheart. Nothing better than a good dude. Oh, yeah. He's one of those guys where no matter, you know, how good you think you are, there's always, like, a little bit of jealousy or. Screw that guy, Joe. You just want him to soar and never stop. Never. It's working. Yeah. All right, now we move on to best Guest. The nominees for guest of the year are. Bert Kreischer. I was. I'm a coward. So, like, I don't. I don't fist fight. I don't like. I talk really good shit. And I found that I could talk my way into a fight that I don't want to be in. I got. I got in this fight fight with this guy on the corner of Melrose and Detroit. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a Starbucks there. My sisters used to live above it. And I was pulling in to get my bathing suit, so I was shooting something for Comedy Central. So I kind of pulled in the wrong way on the wrong road, but it kind of double parked. It was early, and my sister came to her balcony, threw over my bathing suit, and in the process, this guy in a teal BMW just like, trying to, like, like, get around my car and can't find a spot because I'm double parked and he's angry. He looks like Louis CK he looks like him. So I thought it was Louis CK and the whole time I'm like, you wouldn't picture Louis in the teal BMW, but. So I get in the car, and he gets out of the car, and once again, I think it's Louis CK and he's yelling over to me, and I go, it's Louie. I roll down to my window, and as I roll down my window, I realize it's not Louie. And he's like, learn how to park. There's a thing I can win. I can see the beta in a dude pretty quick because I'm a beta. So, like, I wit. I recognize it. And I put my car in park and I get out of my car and I stand up, everyone's outside the Starbucks. I'm like, come out here and be the man you're saying you're gonna be. Prove you're a man. Prove you're a man. And he just freezes. I go, no, you talk all that shit. Come and be the man you're gonna be. And he didn't move. And he said. I said, that's what I thought. Go get a fucking latte. And he walked in, and I thought, what if he knew how to fight? He would have beaten the fuck out of me. Like, he would have cleaned me up on the seat, like. And my sister was on the balcony. She was gonna see me get my ass whipped. And I was like, I don't know how to fight. I don't at all. I don't know how to fight. One part of a fight. I can't do Jewel. So you take the back end, the album's out, and it doesn't really do anything for a couple of years. Does it start doing something, or is it the next album that explodes? It started to do something. I had given up on it. I started making a second album, and then Dylan asked me to tour with him. And so I put a pause on the album. Bob Dylan? Yeah. Okay. And when I got out on tour, his tour manager was like, you know, know, you won't meet Mr. Dylan. Mr. Dylan won't watch your show. I was like, I get it. I'm here to do my job. And so I. You know, as I mentioned in the coffee shop days, I don't really enjoy people talking while I sing. And as I was trying to come up through the 90s, I was opening for grunge acts, you know, Bauhaus, you know, goth bands, Belly, Catherine Wheel, like, a lot of really hard. The Ramones. And I don't like people talking when I sing, so I regularly would ask people to leave, even as an opener. And so I did this at the Dylan show. You know, I was like, I get it. You guys aren't here to see me. I respect it. You're here to see Bob Dylan. And if you guys want to go talk in the lobby, I invite all of you out to the lobby, and if there's two of you left, I'll sing for two of you. And if people wouldn't quiet down, I'd turn on a spotlight and I would focus it on people talking. Oh, wow, you can leave. And then his tour manager came up to me, and he. He goes, you know, Mr. Dylan caught your show. And this was a night I remember being particularly brutal to the audience. And they were like, he's requesting your presence in his dressing room. And he loved that I was kicking people out of his shows and made him want to meet me. They already paid. And then he started just mentoring Me and taking me under his wing. And, you know, I was just. I was really losing faith in myself. And I was starting to make a really reactionary second record that was a little more grunge. And. And he was just like. I mean, he was pissed at me, you know, he was like, you are a singer songwriter. He's like, you're not a pop singer. You get to be one later. He's like, but you're a singer songwriter. Do you want to be a singer songwriter or not? And you need to keep going. And you need to keep going solo acoustic and don't have a band. And just. He just kind of instilled this, like. I don't know, like, yes, sir, I will keep fighting, sir. And I went back out there on that album, and then Neil Young took me out next and just had that real similar kind of punk rock. Like, no radio, everyone. You might starve. But so the. What. What the. Are you. Are you a singer songwriter? You know, I was like, yes, sir. Dana Gould Fuel's gonna talk to the manager of the laundromat. Oh, no. Let's see if we can find anybody. Yes, please, please. Who's in charge? You guys must be really dirty to have all that laundry. Howdy. I'm Huell Hower from KCE Television. As though they all know who that is. We're just kind of wandering around seeing what's going on in the city tonight. PBS. You got some I.D. i can. All right, there you go. Let me just open my giant fanny pack. I love the word fanny and pack, if you really think about it. Are you the head guy around here? At night I am. Tell me about this. I don't think you understood what I was asking. Hold on. He's walked into a coin op laundry that was built in 1963 and wants to know about it. Well. And nobody wants to talk to him. This guy's mop mopping. Well, all they can possibly do is either laundry or something horribly nefarious, Right? There's no in between. Now, let's say I had blood on a D on a comforter that was. That was on its way to an evidence locker. But I had. I had a window to close. Clean it. I don't need to get the blood out. I just need to make it read like animal blood. What would I do? Would you like to breathe into a rag? Want to see the trunk of my car? Yeah, you. You know, you deal with a lot of fabric. What is it? Smell this rag. What is this smell? Deep breath. Yeah. And then you just cut to. Hello. He's coming through. He's coming too. Well, well, well. It's my laundry man. Got yourself in a fix, didn't you, Mr. Clean? Where the hell am I? This is called a dungeon. We're going to make some stains. Sid CR Brought. Hey, Adam, I've heard many things where you just ripped us another you know what, like what? And, and I'm telling you 100%, I'm with you. Well, what does that mean? What does that mean, you're with me? Well, I, I, the things that you said, I have said. And you know, people, I, I, I gotta just go back. You gotta give me a minute. Because I said 30 years. I just met you for the first time and I'm, I apologize. I lied. It's 29 years, now that I think about it. And I, I started as a performer and I know, and I know, Adam, that you did a puppet show. Oh, true. Remember that love of puppet shows? Okay, but wait a minute. That's how I started just to get back to Puff and Stuff. I was, after we did that show, the first show before it aired, I personally, because I created those shows, I personally just, I was shitting in my pants because I thought, wait a minute, 8:00 in the morning, that's all preschool kids. And whoa, it's like, you know, it, it wasn't about drugs. I wrote Puff and Stuff. That came from Puff the Magic Dragon. That was the big hit. And HR you know, everybody thought was hand rolled. And maybe it was because, come on, we're talking about the psychedelic. I. Let me see how much of that theme song I can sing. HR Puffin Stuff. Who's your friend? When things get rough? HR Puffin Stuff can't do a little because you can't do enough. Right? Wow, that is so cool. And Jay Moore. Pause it for a second. Oh, my God. You have to clarify, when you go, you've seen her in high society, you don't mean out and about with like Ava Gabor. I mean the magazine. And when you say gas before, when you say jerked off in Genesis, a lot of people, that's a Bible reference for a lot of folks who, Bobby need to really be specific. Yeah. Welcome to the Copacabana. Here comes Shana Grant. You may recognize her from such films as the Personal Touch with Clark Gable. Clark Gable, Lucky strip. That's right. And Bible War Bonds. Coming out to the ballpark, Jackie Robinson leads all black hitters with 14 hits. Hello, friends. Here we Personal Touch, grand premiere at Grumman's Chinese theater. Oh, and here comes the hedgehog. Here comes Ron Jeremy. Don't give him a countdown. He'll make a mess on the sidewalk. Shauna Grant, real life pornographic actress. Just got done with Robert Mitchum. You may seen her in Penthouse, Swank high school society, and of course, GI News. What year did she kill herself? I'm losing my erection. You didn't know that? Oh, I just got one. I could have guessed. I couldn't figure out how to say it that way. Thanks for picking me up. Don't show this video around any Negroes. This is a tough category. I mean, I have a favorite. Well, I thought, oh, it's gotta be Jewel. And I was like, oh, my God, Sid Croft. But Jay Moore, perennial all star, and Dana Gould, quietly, just always funny all the time. I ran into him at Seth MacFarlane's party on Saturday night. I said, look, I get it. You're not selling out soccer stadiums, but you are consistently the fastest, the funniest. You. You get every single reference. You pull every single obscure reference. I'm telling you, as a comedian, you pull that stuff. You're on that stuff. You get that stuff, and you turn that stuff faster than anybody. And we get this kind of thing where it's like, sometimes it becomes like, boy bands. Like, is that music really better than John Hyatt's music? No, it's popular. You know what I mean? But when you know music, you go Dana Gould. And pound for pound every time he comes in. Nobody makes me laugh harder than Dana Gould. And there's nobody who gets every single thing you're saying every single time. Oof. What's it gonna be? All right, best guess, Brian's doing something. I'm ready. Oh, okay. You ready? Sid Croft, everybody. Well, deserved. To be fair, that was what I alluded to, is my choice. Like, with respect to our amazing guests, top to bottom, all fantastic. What a moment it was for the show to have Sid Croft grace us. The moment that everybody was talking about. And he was cool on top of all that. Yeah. And Dana Gould's got a lot of years to collect the Guest of the Year awards. And Sid Croft was, I mean, to be fair, 30, 20, 30 years in the making. Yes, yes. And then went to his house and had a vegan lunch. All right, well, now it is our fifth installment of Rant of the Year. Our final nominee for Rant of the Year. Mascara fights on flights. You guys not see the ramifications of retarded rules? Do not see how we deputize all the Dumbest, drunkest was a fucking much. Have I been yelling about this? You have now weaponized the dumbest people in our society to walk around and go, hey you, hey you. Hey. On the horse trail that I'm walking past. Let's, let's just jump back in time 14 months to when they're putting the police tape in front of the horse trail and the guy was yelling at me for walking under the police tape. How's that look now? How's it look? I've been pilloried for speaking out. Your all fault. Wrong. You're all wrong. Hillary good. I love it. Hillary a pariah. Oh, now the talking heads. You have all the mayor sitting back. Oh, we can't close these schools. No, no, no, no. We're not gonna. We're not gonna close these schools anymore. Where the were you a year ago, you cowards? I was saying this. Indeed. I'll take my apology in the form of a funnel cake. Jesus Christ, how many times you have to talk about this stuff? It's a bad idea. No one gets it on a airplane. They have filters on airplanes. It's. It does not transmit. It's the most filtered place in here. To save its place, everyone is sitting right next to each other. What's with the mask? All we do is deputize these nut jobs. Now we have a society filled with up people who get to yell at other people. And it's all been underwritten by Fauci and the government because we said this is the right thing to do. So now there's this good, fine, fucking fun. Fucking retards. Jesus Christ. Listen, people say to me all the time like, hey, drop it, leave it alone. Like, what's the deal? I'm like, these people need to be punished. They need to be punished like anybody who committed a crime. You hurt people, you shut down schools, you depress kids. Destroyed businesses. Put on £50 and destroyed businesses. Now we need to do it. I gotta tell you, my fucking pussy is wet. Because Mark Garrigos is depositioning the Burbank city council over the closing. Yes, they're deposing, Sorry, the city council over the Tinhorn Flats closure. And I can not fucking wait for those fucking low level lackeys to be destroyed. I cannot wait. Now people go, you know, it's like that thing all the time. People go, why all the hate? It's like, I don't have any hate. Don't shut down small businesses that have been in your city for 50 years and then there will be no hate. But if you're gonna close them down. Then there shall be some hate. All right, on that note, rant of the year. The rant of the year. I have no idea, but I'm leaning toward the why is nobody was telling us Covid was deadly. Why are none of them dead? It's a strong contender. Three years in, how come no one's dead? Yeah, one. Can anyone think of one person who was telling us about this? There were people who said, like, I'm not getting vaccinated and they're in their 70s and died or whatever. But, like, one news person, like one official, like somebody who was on air telling us about the dangers of COVID That's. That's dead. Now I do want it. Before you draw this winner, I do want to make one observation. Your rants have mellowed slightly over the year, but they've gotten more poignant. Interesting. Like, you used to be so angry about trying to build a pool in LA. Joel McHale's fool. But yes, I get what you're saying. And nowadays it's calmed down a little bit, but it's more targeted and really different flavor. Well, let's see which flavor of Adam wins this year. All right. Mask rule. You can see it coming a mile away. All right, well, every year, Dawson and Lynch and Max Apata spend so much time on this. I mean, it's got. It's countless hours. So thank you to them. And then of course, there's Gina and Brian and Ben and Dawson and Emmy and Chris and Gary and Vito and Byron and Lynch and August and all the people that enable us to do this. So it's always a good time of the year. It's always my favorite show. It's always a great time to sit back and have a glass of nog and listen. Oh, we'll have a couple of bonus shows coming from Tempe next week, so you guys can enjoy that. And that'll. And then we'll return January 3rd. So as we are, a knock on the door of our 14th year. Thank you guys very much for making this possible. And thank you to you guys, Adam and Brian, and of course, all the boys here. I've been saying this for years now. You are my brothers. You are my family. I love you to death. Thank you. Thank you, Gina, how sweet. And Brian, thank you for the gifts. The gift, honestly, the gift of laughter throughout the year. I mean, we forget, you know, all these great moments. These moments were in real time, and we flush them as soon as you walk out the door. And to hear him. And again, thank you guys for working so hard to put it all together. It's a real treat. I agree. And until next time is Adam Carolla for all the great guests. Gina Grand Ball Bryan saying mahalo. Thank you for joining us for this year's ACE Awards. Share it with a friend and show them what they missed in 2022 and get them listening in 2023. Produced by Mike Dawson and Mike lynch, co producers Chris Locksamana, Emmy Funes, Byron Perez, Vito Noel, Kalyn Bean, Matt Fondelier, Gary Smith and Ben Goodwin. Special thanks to archivist superfan Giovanni Orchestra and score for the ACE Awards. Thanks to Extreme Music. The Adam Carolla show is recorded using Rode microphones and created with Adobe Audition and Avid Pro Tools. Hotel accommodations by Motel666. Catering by the Blue Apron Box. Adam just backed over. I just collect the checks and do my job. The ACE Awards. All right, there's Adam K Show 3453. Truly monumental episode marking the end of an era. The 16th annual ACE Awards for Brian and Gina were integral members of the cast and the element of the show before it changed formats again. The ACS ran essentially for 15 years after the radio show ended with Brian employed Teresa, Alice and Gina all having jobs, all different eras of the show. It's kind of a huge deal. Not a lot of podcasts have full casts and if they do, they don't run that long. If they run five years, it's miracle level 15. The show stops still going and it's evolved even further. Until next time, mahalo and get it on.