Real Adam vs. A.I. Adam

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show: "Real Adam vs. A.I. Adam" – Episode Summary

Release Date: January 23, 2025
Guest: Mark Dubowitz, Chief Executive of the Foundation for Defense of Democracies
Segments: Mayhem Miller's Rants, AI Adam Interaction, Interview on Iran, Celebrity Commentary

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1. Introduction to the Episode

In the episode titled "Real Adam vs. A.I. Adam," host Adam Carolla delves into a multifaceted discussion that blends humor, technology, geopolitical analysis, and candid commentary. Alongside his co-hosts Mayhem Miller and Dawson, Adam welcomes Mark Dubowitz, an expert on Middle Eastern affairs, to provide insights into Iran's political landscape.

2. Mayhem Miller's Rants and Anecdotes

A. Car Auctions and Celebrity Moments ([05:01] - [10:00])

Mayhem Miller kicks off with a rant about Jerry Seinfeld's iconic Porsche 917, which failed to sell at auction despite its historical significance. He humorously dissects the situation, highlighting possible clerical mishaps and the complexities of high-value car auctions.

"They put it up across the blocks. Oh, wow. Got to $25 million now. $25 million means with the vig, with the 10% buyer's premium, that the dude who's cutting that check is doing 25 plus 10, which is $27,500. Right. Okay. Yeah. No sale."
— Mayhem Miller [07:16]

B. The Yawning Phenomenon and Long Snapping ([10:00] - [33:04])

The conversation shifts to the universal act of yawning, exploring its triggers like tiredness and stress. Mayhem shares personal stories about nervous yawning during high-pressure situations, such as football games, and the challenges of being a long snapper.

"If you can't get over it, then you gotta leave immediately. If it's just gonna bug you... you just leave tomorrow. That's it."
— Mayhem Miller [61:59]

Dawson interjects with insights into coaching a top long snapper, leading to a humorous yet technical discussion about the intricacies and physical demands of the position.

3. Introducing AI Adam: A Comparative Experiment

A. The AI Adam Segment ([39:24] - [73:18])

Embracing technological advancements, the hosts introduce an experimental segment where an AI model mimicking Adam Carolla's voice responds to listener queries. The primary objective is to compare the authenticity and relatability of AI-generated advice against that of the real Adam.

A listener, Chris Druff, seeks advice on dealing with a cheating ex-girlfriend. The AI Adam delivers a blunt response, echoing the no-nonsense style characteristic of Carolla.

"She cheated. That's the ultimate betrayal. You're worth more than being someone's backup plan or emotional punching bag. Get some self-respect."
— AI Adam [63:06]

B. Evaluating AI vs. Real Adam ([73:15] - [86:05])

The hosts critically assess the AI's performance, noting discrepancies in tone and phrasing that diverge from Adam's usual delivery. Mayhem humorously laments the AI's inability to capture his and Dawson's unique conversational styles.

"This AI is trash."
— Mayhem Miller [85:54]

4. In-Depth Interview with Mark Dubowitz on Iran

A. US-Iran Relations and Policy Shifts ([73:16] - [123:23])

Mark Dubowitz provides a comprehensive analysis of the evolving dynamics between the United States and Iran. He distinguishes between the Iranian populace and the oppressive regime, emphasizing that most Iranians despise the current leadership and yearn for its downfall.

"The majority of Iranians despise this regime. They've been on the streets calling for death to the dictator, calling for the end of the regime."
— Mark Dubowitz [77:14]

Dubowitz critiques the Obama-era nuclear deal for its temporary restrictions and the subsequent relaxation under the Biden administration, which he argues has emboldened Iran's nuclear ambitions.

"President Trump imposed maximum pressure and even took decisive actions like eliminating Qassem Soleimani, which paralyzed Iran's regime."
— Mark Dubowitz [96:57]

He advocates for a return to the tough stance exemplified by Trump's policies, suggesting that only through credible military strength can the US effectively deter Iran's nuclear progression.

B. The Impact of Leadership on Regional Stability

The discussion touches upon the contrasting leadership styles between Trump, Obama, and contemporary figures like Gavin Newsom. Dubowitz underscores the importance of unwavering support for allies like Israel, positing that steadfast backing can serve as a bulwark against regional adversaries.

"The United States needs to be strong and credible. These Israelis are a model of a country willing to fight and die in its own defense."
— Mark Dubowitz [117:30]

5. AI Adam's Further Engagement and Host Reactions

A. AI Adam's Take on Social Issues ([67:04] - [86:05])

The hosts experiment further with AI Adam, posing questions on socially sensitive topics such as cosmetic surgery.

"Fake boobs are like Teslas. Some people love them. Some think they're a symbol of everything wrong with society."
— AI Adam [64:34]

However, the real Adam and co-hosts find the AI's responses lack the depth and nuance typical of Carolla's viewpoints, leading to continued critique and humorous banter.

6. Conclusion and Final Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Mayhem promotes his upcoming stand-up shows, while Adam encourages listeners to connect via voicemail and subscribe to additional content on Substack. The blend of AI experimentation, geopolitical discourse, and unabashed humor provides a dynamic and engaging listening experience.

"AI sucks. It's worthless. I'm happy we put a lot of..."
— Mayhem Miller [68:35]

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Notable Quotes

• Mayhem Miller [07:16]:
  "They put it up across the blocks... No sale."

• Mayhem Miller [61:59]:
  "If you can't get over it, then you gotta leave immediately."

• AI Adam [63:06]:
  "She cheated... Get some self-respect."

• Mark Dubowitz [77:14]:
  "The majority of Iranians despise this regime."

• Mark Dubowitz [96:57]:
  "President Trump imposed maximum pressure and even took decisive actions like eliminating Qassem Soleimani."

• AI Adam [64:34]:
  "Fake boobs are like Teslas..."

---

Key Takeaways

1. AI vs. Human Interaction: The experiment with AI Adam highlights the current limitations of AI in replicating the authenticity and emotional depth of human hosts, emphasizing the irreplaceable nature of genuine human discourse in podcasting.

2. US-Iran Geopolitical Landscape: Mark Dubowitz's insights shed light on the detrimental effects of relaxed sanctions and diplomatic leniency towards Iran, advocating for a return to stricter policies to curb Iran's nuclear ambitions.

3. Candid Humor and Personal Anecdotes: Mayhem Miller's personal stories and unfiltered rants add a layer of relatable humor, balancing the more serious geopolitical discussions.

4. Social Commentary: Discussions on topics like cosmetic surgery and societal expectations reveal the hosts' perspectives on contemporary social issues, often delivered with sharp wit and humor.

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This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a rich tapestry of humor, technology exploration, and serious geopolitical analysis, making it a compelling listen for fans seeking both entertainment and insightful commentary.

Transcript

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

In this episode I do a lot of ranting. Mayhem Miller does some news and Mark Dubowitz, who's an expert in all things Middle east, really gets us lined out on Iran, Iran, Iran and Israel and other things in the Middle east, but really gives us a heads up on Iran and just sort of who they are and what they're up to. We'll do all that right after this.

[Adam Carolla]

From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, chief executive of the foundation for Defense of Democracies, Mark Duke Kubowitz. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now a man with big brow energy, Adam Carolla.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get on it on. Excited. Thanks for listening. Thanks for sharing. We love that about you. Getting the word out. Mayhem Miller over here. Lots of stuff to get into today. Woke up to a very nice text this morning. Yeah, nice text. That's good.

[Dawson]

Yeah, about the Kavita show.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The blast? No, about stand up bit called Rich man, poor man that I started doing. I did it for dry bar and it got around a little bit and it's so funny. The text was from Jay Leno, who I like Jay a lot, but he keeps it close to the vest with the compliments. He doesn't do a lot of. Oh, man, that was so funny. I saw. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He doesn't do that. He's a great guy, cordial, good friend, but he's not that guy. That guy. I get it, though. I wake up this morning, goes, saw the rich man, poor man bit. That is a great bit and a great premise. Man, you knocked out of the ballpark, which he never does. But now I realize the two guys that came up to me and said, that's your bit, were Jerry Seinfeld and now Jay Leno. They both went, that's a bit. And I've never done it. I mean, I always forget to do it. I never do it. There's something wrong with me. But it's a bit. And the only two people have ever said anything about it is Jay Leno and Jerry Seinfeld. Because I realized they're comedians and they think in terms of bits and branded bits and they're like, that's your bit.

[Dawson]

So you're saying you're putting in rotation permanent?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm doing it now. Now I'm gonna do it. When Seinfeld did it, I didn't do it. I got one fish to eat. Fish to eat. That's your bet.

[Dawson]

Fish to eat is rich man and poor man. Like, you only fish if you're like on the pier or you're on the back of a 30 foot yacht getting a marlin fishing. It might not be funny, but it's true.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Fishing. Fishing for sustenance.

[Dawson]

There we go. Exactly right. A fish to eat.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's not the thing about it. The thing about it is, is the thing about rich man, Poor man is it has to be true, but it also has to be funny in some way.

[Dawson]

It's not funny.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And I have a ton of them that are just true, but they're not funny. They're something funny. And then there's ones I like that no one else likes, like speaks to Bono. I just feel that's a rich and a poor Thing no one else cares.

[Dawson]

I'm dark.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right. So. But anyway, I have to keep generating those, but it was a nice way to wake up a little rich man, poor man. Compliment from the great Jay Leno. Speaking of Seinfeld, I don't know what. I don't know if something's afoot. I don't know if there's foul play. I don't know what's going on, but that guy had a Porsche 917. It's the Steve McQueen Porsche 917 from the movie Le Mans. And that's an iconic race car that Seinfeld bought probably about 20 years ago for probably 2 million bucks or something. I saw it all taken apart in a shop in Van Nuys. A guy named Joey, who I know who does all Seinfeld's cars. That car went to auction last weekend. Kissimmee in Florida. This is. It's Kissimmee. Kissimmee.

[Dawson]

Kissimmee. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No one knows how to pronounce it here.

[Dawson]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought it was Kissimmee.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Kissimmee. I thought it was Kissimmee.

[Dawson]

I thought it was Kissimmee.

[Mark Dubowitz]

I thought it was Kissimmee.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I thought it was Kissimmee. All right. No one knows how to pronounce. Maybe we should just change the name because no one knows how it is. But. But they have a big auction and they brought the Seinfeld 917.

[Dawson]

They put it up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They put it up across the blocks. Oh, wow. Got to $25 million now. $25 million means with the vig, with the 10% buyer's premium, that the dude who's cutting that check is doing 25 plus 10, which is $27,500. Right. Okay. Yeah. No sale.

[Dawson]

No.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Wouldn't accept it. So I don't know what's going on. No one thought that car was worth more than that. There's.

[Dawson]

I didn't even hear the number. You said 2.7.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

$25 million to a Porsche for a Porsche.

[Dawson]

Oh, my God. The only auctions I've been to is police auctions.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Buy a shot up car.

[G]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

With blood stains all in it. And you take apart one of those cars and put together another car.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So it's basically. Wow. Yeah.

[Dawson]

That's not what I was expecting.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You bought the Blues Brothers mobile.

[Dawson]

Yeah, yeah, right, exactly. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Cop suspension, cop brakes, cop transmission. It's got a 440. Yeah. That's the car. Super iconic because. Because Steve McQueen drove it in the movie and Steve McQueen's production company bought it.

[Dawson]

Is that the Reno Auto Museum?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No.

[Dawson]

I seen this car at a museum before. Well, feel like I have. Or one similar. It's a very beautiful piece of art.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I love the 917. It's a killer car. It won Le Mans. This car did not win Le Mans. It was just in the movie Le Mans.

[Dawson]

I get it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The iconic Steve McQueen movie. Now I gotta get to my sources because I don't know that he turned down 25 million bucks or that the auction house bid it up to a number to see.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

How that worked. There's a little bit. There can be a little tomfoolery every once in a while.

[Adam Carolla]

But as far as these auctions go, everyone who gets in the auction understands the rules. Correct. So he has to know there's the 10% VIG on top of what? He buys it going in. Did they make that clear?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, I'm not talking about the vig or what.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, it's.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The vig is. Yeah. It's baked in. Everyone who bids knows they're bidding with the vig.

[Adam Carolla]

But the guy wouldn't pay it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, I'm not. I think you're misunderstanding.

[Adam Carolla]

I am misunderstanding.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

There was a no sale. Nobody. Nobody. They didn't accept 25 million bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought somebody did bid 25 million.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They did bid 25 million. They didn't accept. It wasn't enough.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, shit.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's what I'm saying, Dawson.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Reserve was not met. So that means Seinfeld thinks it's worth $30 million. Yeah. Yeah. And it stopped at 25. And Seinfeld said, take it home. We're taking it home. But I don't know that there are auctions in cars where when you talk to the guys in the know, they go, I don't know about that. That was a little something was off.

[Dawson]

As a racer, does it make you feel weird that he has stopped dead.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

On a nice turn right here?

[Dawson]

I mean, it makes me a little nervous. My butthole pucker up looking at that picture.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They're just rolled it down. Which.

[Adam Carolla]

Which one would be worth more? The one that won, Lamar or the one owned by James Dean?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The Porsche.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, the 550 Spider that James Dean died in is not. Has never been found. So it's got stolen now. It was a wreck and it was a wreck. And it was like kind of parted out. Like they took the transmission for you. Lay people in the rear end and the engine out. And then the shell of the thing Just kind of went on tour and. In Florida. They snatched it in Florida.

[Dawson]

One of my cousins got it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, one of your cousins got it. Nothing makes it out of Florida. They think it's Florida is where they found out it was missing. Somebody stole James Dean's crushed car, the car he died in. And it's in some bunker in Dubai.

[Dawson]

It was on a flatbed or something. They were just carting it around with his blood stains and brain matter on it. Yeah, that's morose.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They were carting it around to show back when it was okay to scare kids.

[Dawson]

Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, we.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Don'T scare kids anymore. We tell them all they're number one. We used to have scared straight. We take these kids to prison and some eight foot black guy would pull his fake eyeball out and throw it at him and go, give me your goddamn shoes. And the kids go, I'm never coming into this place. And then we'd bring him James Dean's car and we'd go, this guy died. He's dead. He's dead. You understand? He didn't wear a seatbelt. He wasn't paying attention. We would scare the shit out of kids. That was a. Every guy I know of a certain age, I've heard had that thing where some car that was completely balled up got flatbedded into the fucking quad. And some guy wearing a sheriff's outfit. When this guy's dead, his whole family's in that car. They're all gone. You want to end up like that? You keep driving the way you do. Wear a goddamn seatbelt. Now go back to class. We scared kids. And it was good because you would go, I don't want to go to prison. I don't want to die in a car wreck. Yeah, and you would. You would. Most of us would then act accordingly.

[Dawson]

Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Now we just tell everyone they're the fucking number one.

[Dawson]

Here's a trophy.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Here's your trophy. Doesn't prevent them from doing anything.

[Dawson]

No.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We used to fucking scare people.

[Dawson]

Yeah. I like this strategy.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

My high school, we had an assembly.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

LeBeau from Hogan's Hero, the French guy from Hogan's Heroes showed up and yelled at us about the Holocaust. Now they just have fucking cool bands. Le Beau showed up from Hogan's era. I thought, we're gonna get some funny Bob Crane stories. No, we did not. We got yelled at. He could have sprinkled, like, what a cool dude. Colonel Klink was, like, off the set or like, whatever. No, nothing. Schultzy stories. I know nothing. Got nothing. I got fucking Holocaust stories. I got traumatized by Holocaust stories from Laveau.

[Dawson]

He directly gave firsthand account of the Holocaust.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I went and researched it many, many, many years later to figure out why Lebow came to North Hollywood High in 1981 and yelled at us about the Holocaust. And I think I figured out that Le Beau was a partisan, a Frenchman who was in the. Who was involved with the Holocaust. I mean, it would have been. It would have been about right, because Hogan's Heroes was shot 1968. And that would have been 20 years, 22, 23 years after he was liberated. And Le Beau could have been 45 when he was doing Hogan's Heroes, which would have made him 19. As a young Jew in France, he.

[Dawson]

Held down the Maginot Line. And that's what he was yelling at you about.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Maginot line.

[Dawson]

That's a deep cut.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, the Maginot Line was. Let me just explain how life works to everybody, and then we'll explain the Maginot line. And then also, Le Beau find out, Dawson, what the hell with LeBeau? And why was he yelling at me about Auschwitz?

[Dawson]

Yeah, what the hell?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And then we walked out of that fucking assembly just to see some car that had been rolled, family that died in it.

[Dawson]

Your life is a San Fernando Mad lib.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Do you understand that? The only two field trips I ever went on was to the Laurie's Taco Seasoning plant in Eagle Rock. And I left with a small cellophane container of seasoning mix for tacos. My fucking hippie mom didn't cook ground beef. I had nothing to do. I had to snort the shit. There's nothing to do. My mom didn't have meat. My mom wouldn't eat meat, so there was nothing to season. But I got taco seasoning. And then the other trip would be Alvara street, which is just a fucking alley filled with fake Mexican restaurants and, you know, marionettes and, you know, sombreros. Fuck, half the guys I go to North Highway High with are Mexican. What the fuck do I need? Alvarez, drink. I'm gonna show you the Cobell on the corner.

[Dawson]

I wanna show you what this was 1500 years ago.

[Adam Carolla]

LeBeau Le Beau was played by an actor named Robert Clary, who was a Holocaust survivor.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's why he yelled at me.

[Adam Carolla]

That's why.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Was he as a teenager, like in the Holocaust?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think 14. Hold on. Age 12. Wait, wait, wait. In 42? Because he was Jewish.

[Dawson]

He was Jewish or Romani?

[Adam Carolla]

No, he was Jewish.

[Dawson]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

He has an identification Tattoo on his forearm.

[Dawson]

Oh, wow.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Wow.

[Dawson]

That's why he yelled at you. He'd been there, went to the camp.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He was a young man.

[Adam Carolla]

He was a young.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

12, maybe.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, how old was he began. He began a career singing in radio. In singing and in Ray. French radio when he was 12. I don't see when.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What year was he born? I think we can do the Holocaust 26. I can do the Holocaust 26.

[Adam Carolla]

And then in 42, he was interned.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay. So he was. He was 16.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right. Or so. Yeah, 16. Those are formative Holocaust years. You know what I mean? Like, when you're 16, you're trying to get your driver's license and get laid.

[Dawson]

But if there's going to be a Holocaust, you wanted to go early. So you have the strength to get through it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah. You don't want old Holocaust, you want young holocaust. Yeah. 16. Jesus Christ.

[Dawson]

That's a rough life.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Still pissed by the time he got to North Hollywood, 1981, but a damn decent character actor. Yeah. Sung all right. The Maginot Line. The French had a lot of bad actors around them. Germany, one of them, and they're like, you know what? We need to fortify our country by building a Maginot Line. It's a cacophony of underground tunnels and bunkers and rail systems. They're able to move munitions from one end to the other end, all without detection. All, you know, cannons and barricades and bunkers and railroads and barracks. And they built an entire. Basically, like an entire underground perimeter to protect themselves from the Huns at the door and Germans and God knows who wanted to come in there and fuck them up. So they built this entire system, and it was all like underground with railway tracks. Exactly.

[Dawson]

They had, like, castles, basically, and, like, gunning places.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah, sure. It wasn't all underground. They had gun emplacements and barracks and mess halls and bathrooms and everything you would need to move munitions and do everything. They did. And then World War II started, and the Germans just flew right over the top of them and bombed the shit out of Paris.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And they could do nothing.

[Dawson]

The technology really jumped up in those intervening years between the time that they built that thing, because back then it was like a horseback and whatever. Now you got tanks coming over at 45 miles an hour.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. The Germans did the Blitzkrieg. Lightning War.

[Dawson]

Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Misha and I should sit around and watch a little History Channel together.

[Dawson]

I'm into it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They did their Lightning War and the Maginot Line was no defense for the planes and the tanks and everything that just went blazing right past.

[Dawson]

Good strategy that. Feed the soldiers meth and just get.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Them to drive, get them going as fast as possible. Yeah, so there's that. Yeah, Seinfeld's Porsche. A lot of German talk.

[Dawson]

Nein.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Don't know what was going on, but stalled out at 25 million and was a no sale. So not enough. Now it seems inconceivable to me that Seinfeld bought the car for like 2 million bucks and turned down 25 million. But I don't know.

[Dawson]

Well, you got that kind of like me money, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe he also didn't really want to sell it. Maybe he doesn't need the money and he's like, eh, okay, if you guys can sell it for 30, I'll talk.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, it could have, it could have had a reserve. I don't know. But I'll follow up on it. I'll try to get to the bottom of it.

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Is here to say yes to a personal loan or line of credit. When other lenders say no, apply in.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Or lending partner banks and serviced by Netcredit. Applications subject to review and approval. Learn [e-mail] partners. NetCredit credit to the People the other thing that I wanted to get into was somebody sent me a tweet and I'll show you the tweet. It says it's a bat yawning. The bat. That's. That's yawning.

[Dawson]

All right.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think it's a. I think it moves, doesn't it?

[Dawson]

Wait, this looks right side up. Oh. Aww.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Waking up in the morning. Then I started thinking about it. Does everything yawn? Why does everything yawn? You know what I mean? Like, I don't feel. I kind of get this part where it's like, well, you yawn and a monkey yawns and you yawn. Your dog yawns. Everything yawns. What do they need? What's a bat need to yawn for?

[Dawson]

I think it's some type of oxygen.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Like, it is. It is a thing, but it's. It's. It's. It's a little bit weird that it's woven into all the DNA.

[Dawson]

Is it all. Is it only.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Dawson]

It's not mammals. Just mammals. Huh?

[Adam Carolla]

A yawn is a reflex. Invertebrate animals character. So, yeah, everybody does it. It's a reflex, probably to some of the feelings your body has when you wake up. Like your. Your body needs to.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's also. It's also something that happens when you're nervous. There's a nervous yawn.

[Dawson]

I would always before fight people.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I know I would.

[Dawson]

You get either some type of like.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yes, there's a nervous yawn.

[Adam Carolla]

Anxiety.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

There's an anxiety yawn. I remember clear as a day after LeBeau was done yelling at us about the Holocaust. We had a football game that night. And I'd be sitting. We'd be in the locker in the chalk talk room or whatever the room next to the lockers were. And coach Fred Nielsen, old time guy, you know, big forearm guy, giving a speech. Giving a speech. And I would always be standing in the back of the room and I had to yawn. I had the. I had the pre game yawn. You're talking about the locker room yawn. Like going out to do battle yawn. Something about it. And I could. I remember clear as day, Fred Nielsen. He's like. He's giving us the Eskimo speech about. He's giving us a fighting Eskimo speech. What? Okay.

[Dawson]

Oh, that was your mascot. That was weird.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, it was weird. We were Huskies.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So maybe. Maybe they're pulling Eskimo around. I don't know. No, no, he wasn't tied into the Huskies. He was trying to give us an inspirational start.

[Dawson]

Sorry.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But he's in the middle of this speech, and I'm standing In the back, yawning.

[Dawson]

I'm bore you Grow up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's right. In the middle of the speech, he stops and go, am I boring you, Carolla? And I'm like, no, I'm just. I'm playing both ways. I'm long snapping. I got things. I'm thinking about stuff. I'm nervous.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm yawning. I'm doing the. I'm doing the locker room yawn.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm seeing here that scientists have several theories for why we yawn, but none of them are certain. Common triggers of yawning include tiredness, boredom, waking up and stress.

[Dawson]

Are you talking about being a long snapper? Because I coach the number one long snapper in college football.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What I do have, we.

[Dawson]

We never talk about this long.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I weave long snapping into conversations with strangers.

[Dawson]

I noticed someone asked me for directions.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I tell them about my.

[Dawson]

I never wanted to come out with this, but, yeah, I coached him in Jiu Jitsu. He's a really good Jiu Jitsu player as well.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Really?

[Dawson]

Yeah, I know we gotta talk sometimes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

If I had half a fucking brain, I would have just been a long snapper. Yeah. Do you have. You can find me long snapping on tv. Oh. I mean, this is the greatest long snapping moment of my life. This. I think there's some sound here, professional opinion. All right, now, are you right handed, coach?

[G]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Because what I'll do. This is shotgun your right hand. I'll put it up here. Okay, Already ready. I'll put it right here. Which way? You like the laces lined up? I would like the laces towards my pointer. Towards your pointer?

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right, so bring the laces about here, upper right about 3:00. Set, go. Wow, that's pretty good. That's not bad at all. I really didn't believe you could put it right here. The guy offered me a job. Yeah, I thought that was kind of a bull on an arena team.

[Dawson]

Snap it. You missed your calling.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think I used to snap the ball in high school. Well, my dad was a long snapper and his father before him. And then my great grandfather Giovanni from the old country used to do the long snapping. All right, see the foot now set, go. I'll tell you what, we may be able to go shotgun this year. Yeah, that's pretty good right there. That's impressive.

[Dawson]

So now that's your biggest regret?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, that's shotgun. But I did punts and, you know, extra points and field goals and all that shit as well. But. Yeah, well, you know, I was a long Snapper, I didn't know fucking. I have no idea how you get in. You know, being a long snapper is like killing prostitutes. It's like, where did this begin? You know what I mean? You're getting stressed or you're bored.

[Dawson]

Yes.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I was like, I don't know why I was a long snapper, but I was a long snapper. But the problem with long snapping, when you do it as a specialty. I know, it's fine. I played both ways and long snap. So I never left. I never left the field. I didn't leave for punts, I didn't leave for all night.

[Dawson]

Corolla. Just by the end of the defense. Special team special.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And I had like the big linebacker, shoulder pads in the toilet seat and everything. And I'd get down between my legs. In the game, I could barely see the punter behind me because the toilet seat, like the big shoulder pads and stuff and the helmet. And by the end of the game, man, I was pretty gassed out.

[Dawson]

Sweat all over my bad uniform. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And we play night games and our field wasn't that well lit and I just remember looking through my legs at Pat Morrison, our punter, like 15 yards back, and I'm like feeling like sweat on the ball and stuff going. I don't know. And they didn't have the no can rule back then.

[Dawson]

What do you mean, no can?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No can. You are when you are standing with your feet super wide and your head's between your legs.

[Dawson]

I know. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You're vulnerable.

[Dawson]

Yes, you are.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You're going to get fucked up. And they have a rule in the NFL now and in college and in high school, but. But not the. The Arena League didn't have it, I don't know, 20 years ago, but they take the biggest dude on the other team and they put him heads up right on you. And then you fucking stand there and you see this huge dude standing there and then you go, now I'm putting my head between my legs. And you put your head between your legs and this guy drives you. His job is to can you. To drive you into the ground.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Now what is he trying to do? Well, the first punt, he's gonna fuck you up. The second punt, if you ever try to snap a long snap and get up and defend yourself real fast, that ball skipping back to the punt, you will fuck that snap up. If your number one job is to protect yourself and not hit the punter in the chest, you're gonna fuck that snap up.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And the guy who cans you knows it. And the other team knows it.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So they can you on the first one and then try to get you to protect yourself.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

On the second one.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And it never worked with me. I never fucked up a snap. I never. Our team sucked.

[Dawson]

What was your strategy? I figure you, like, go, like, kind of shoot a single leg, you know what I mean, and climb it up. I don't know. That would be my strategy. But I don't know how they do it in the NFL. Really. I don't notice it. And my guy, I never seen him work.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They drive your biggest. They take the biggest dude on the other team. He stands right over you where your head's in your legs, and he drives you into the ground, and he just drives you in back first.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You don't get head first. He goes back. He's got the back of your head.

[Dawson]

I know. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

In the ground. I never fucked up a snap. Never Great. Never. Not one. Static point, field goals, punts.

[Dawson]

Can or no can.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

We punted a lot. That's the only thing we did, really, is punt. And I never fucked up a punt.

[Dawson]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I never fucked up a snap. But I got canned. But I didn't give a shit. I was like, my duty is to not fuck this snap up.

[Dawson]

Because all the yawning.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They did not. They now have a rule. I'm looking at Joe, I'm sure there's no more canning. There's no canning in the NFL. There's no canning.

[Dawson]

When you say canning, are you saying, like, you body flop or double? Like, head and arm the guy to the ground? What are you saying?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Can. Can.

[Dawson]

Can.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't know. It was always called the no can rule.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And then it was always called getting canned. Like, you land on your can, you land on your ass. They. They drill you on the ground, and you go onto your ass so you're, like, folded over. Yeah, I see. Yeah.

[Dawson]

That's a nightmare.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm sure there's been many a neck injury caused by.

[Dawson]

I would want, like, one of those, like, neck pads. Remember in the 80s they had the real tall neck thing, that neck roll? I would just shoot a double leg or shoot a single leg as soon as I snap. Like, then I've been up safe, and he falls on top of me. But no big deal.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You can't. You got your head between your legs.

[Dawson]

Oh, I know. But as soon as I throw it, just shoot it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That guy's staring at the ball. As soon as that ball moves. Yeah, Sus, that ball moves. He's coming yeah. So there is no shooting double legs on him. They're trying to survive.

[Mark Dubowitz]

Okay, in the NFL now, anybody within one yard of the line has to be outside of the long snappers shoulder pads.

[Dawson]

Oh, so you have to run.

[Mark Dubowitz]

No one can line up over the snapper.

[Dawson]

Oh, wow. New. New game.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So this dude offers me the job snapping for. For his arena football team. And I just go, I would do that, but do you have the no can rule? And he said, not an Arena League. And I said, well, no can do. But I would have done it. I was old. You know what I mean?

[Dawson]

You're already doing TV and whatnot.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So you're like, I was a celebrity. Yeah, exactly. So I didn't need that. But I still would have done it just to say I did it.

[Dawson]

Bunsies.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. Just for fun. And I got lucky. I mean, I was fucking around with the guy, told him, put the ball by his right, you know, I was like, what hand are you? Right. Where do you want the laces? There. But I did put the laces there, and I did put the ball there. And so he. That's why he reacted the way I reacted.

[Dawson]

You still had it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, the shotgun was. Shotgun was pretty easy because shotgun, you keep your head up. You don't look on shotgun. Yeah, you do on punts and you do on extra points, but you don't on shotgun. So shotgun, you keep your head up and you don't get canned.

[Dawson]

Don't get canned.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Don't get canned. So you had the number one long snapper.

[Dawson]

I coach him. Yeah, he's a real good kid. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Jiu Jitsu.

[Dawson]

Jiu Jitsu, yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

How old is he?

[Dawson]

22.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Is he in the NFL?

[Dawson]

He's. I guess he's transferring to a bigger school and, you know, he's got. I guess they get offers now. I don't know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Long snapper's a thing. You can hang around in the NFL for 50 years and get paid, if that's your thing.

[Dawson]

Handsome guy. You look good on camera.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The long snapper, the lost art from San Diego. Dated Pam Anderson for a period of time.

[Dawson]

Sick. This kid's headed to the top.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm not making that up. I don't think. Yeah. I always said, look, someone's got to make the movie. Someone's gotta make the movie where the mob gets to the long snapper one week before the super bowl, they kidnapped the long snapper's daughter, and now they need David Ben, and now they need him to fuck up a couple of long snaps in the Super Bowl.

[Dawson]

Just cover the spread, you know what I'm saying?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What is one snap, one punt snap over the punter's head that just skates back toward the opposing end zone. Right. And one bad field goal snap. Yeah, that is good for 10 points. I mean, that is a. That's a big outcome. You can't prove it. There's no one who's going to replace that guy. They don't have a second long snapper, by the way, he snaps it over the punter's head. They're not going to pull him for the next snap. You guarantee me. Two bad set, one bad. The punt. The punt. I need you to drill it and I need you to go over the guy's head and I need that ball to skate back to the five yard line or whatever. Like one bad punt, one bad field goal, and I'm betting on that. That other team.

[Dawson]

So you missed your calling. Corrupt long snapper. I could have made millions.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I could. Well, in the movie, you know, there's a movie version where his daughter's kidnapped and everything.

[Mark Dubowitz]

And the whole week of the super bowl, his daughter's kidnapp, and the week he should be preparing for the big game, he's actually hunting down the kidnappers.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Snap, snap, it's called. Yeah, and at some point, the kidnapper, like at some point, kids snapped, kid snap. At some point, the guy's got a knife and the daughters, whatever. And this. And it's a standoff. And this guy bends down, picks up a rock and goes between his, like, goes shotgun with a rock. Right to the head. Splat. Right in the head. The guy drops the knife.

[Mark Dubowitz]

Yeah, there's a line. I'm pretty good with a shotgun.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I could watch that. I will watch that movie.

[Dawson]

Me too. Netflix original.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Mm. All right, so there's that. I don't know what we're talking about.

[Mark Dubowitz]

I'm also pretty good in the pistol.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, yeah, the pistol, the shotgun and the pistol. There's a difference.

[Dawson]

I'm not giving you a nickel or a dime.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, like dime package, Nickel. Okay.

[Dawson]

I don't know. I don't know. It was maybe too deep.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right, I had a thought. I was listening to Trump being sworn in the other day, and I was watching him do it. Supreme Court Judge Roberts, I think, fucked it up. He didn't wait for his family to show up. He started right into it. And you could see Trump's family, who was supposed to be gathered, had to kind of hustle into the frame. But I was listening to it on the radio and I was thinking to myself, if Joe Biden had stayed in the race and if Joe Biden had won like he says he could have, do you think Joe Biden could have got through the swear in without muffing it, like, without a stumble, like? Let's put it to you this way. If you were doing VO work, could he have got through it without the engineer going, yeah, let's try another one. Let's give it another take. Let's just listen. Just listen and kind of close your eyes and listen. And then picture Biden. I don't know that he could have got through it, but here we go. Please raise your right hand and repeat after me. I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear. I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear. That I will faithfully execute. That I will faithfully execute. The office of President of the United States. The office of President of the United States. And will to the best of my ability. And will to the best of my ability. Preserve, protect and defend. Preserve, protect and defend.

[G]

The Constitution of the United States.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

The Constitution of the United States. So help me God.

[Dawson]

So help me God.

[G]

Congratulations, Mr. Cohen.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't think. I don't think Biden could have got through it clean.

[Adam Carolla]

Preserve, protect and defend. Will preserve. Very fucked up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That. Very fucked up. That's where the smart money is. Hey, man. But then, true story. But then he realized we were on the brink of swearing in. A guy who couldn't get through the swearing ceremony to run the country. That's what the plan was.

[Dawson]

I thought you were supposed to put your hand on the Bible. This guy was just standing there with it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think this guy Roberts fucked it up two times. Another time, too. We had brought the wrong Bible or something. You see the family try to hustle up. Yeah, he just rolled right in.

[Dawson]

The whole thing was straight. Yeah. And Trump was ready. He was just like, kablammo. Let's do this. Get this out of the way. Got a 5:15 tee time.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Can I say this, too? They give the guy who's swearing you in a cheat sheet. He's looking down at a cheat sheet. Why does the guy who's being sworn in get his own cheat sheet? You know what I'm saying?

[Dawson]

Teleprompt him.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. All right, take a quick break. Be right back. Are we doing some AI? Adam, how's that going to work? Jeff, we're going to ask AI questions.

[Mark Dubowitz]

Yeah. And on the break, we're going to get a prompt from you in the hopes that it'll read it in your voice.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Like Frasier and rewatch cult classics like Higher Learning.

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Surefire hit like Forest Gump, Pluto TV.

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Pluto TV stream now pay Never. Hey, it's Adam Kroll from the Adam Kroll the show. Bet Online is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting. From the earliest odds to in game live betting, BetOnline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch and bet on games as they happen. With the largest selection of odds on everything from football, NBA, college basketball as well, Betonline has NHL, MMA and championship boxing. All your betting needs in one place. Head to Betonline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun. Make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with Betonline. Betonline. The game starts here.

[Adam Carolla]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Foreign.

[G]

Abe from Texas wanted to have a rich man, poor man for you. Your Internet connection has a wired connection. Either you are on a secured server doing international trading or you're at the public library because you can't afford WI fi.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Get it on.

[Adam Carolla]

You can leave us a message at 888-63417, 4, 4.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right, we're getting that AI Adam thing worked out. It's gonna take a second. I have this to discuss. I sat down with Billy Bush, did his show the other day. I found him quite likable. Don't really know him that well, but had a nice discussion with him. At some point he was talking about basically having to check himself into a mental institution because he got completely railroaded by the whole Trump Access Hollywood thing. And part of the problem of the times we're living in, and I've talked to a lot of dingbat chicks about this, is I always hearken back, I have little snapshots. One of my ex wife's friends was yelling, just shut up, Matt Damon once, because he'd said, harvey Weinstein and Al Franken, they didn't do things that were the same to women. And she started yelling, just shut up, Al Franken. Just shut up, Matt Damon, who said it. And I was like, oh, okay, we've jumped the shark here. Something's wrong with our society. Harvey Weinstein's a serial rapist. Al Franken's a gentle Jew joker. And somebody pointed that out and you want that person to shut up, which is weird. Yeah, I said a million times, when Trump, by the way, he's bragging about molesting women. Fuck out. They just lie about Trump. He's basically saying, it says, if you sang. Where are you from in Florida, Mayhem?

[Dawson]

North Carolina.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, North Carolina. Who lived in Florida?

[Dawson]

Nobody.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Nobody.

[Dawson]

My cousin.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Didn't. Your dad? Didn't you have family from Florida? I mean, I know I do. I'm a. What town are you from? From North Carolina?

[Dawson]

Fayetteville.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Fayetteville. Okay. It's. If you said to me, I'm so popular in Fayetteville, I could shoot somebody in the street and never go to prison. And then I went, mayhem shoots people in Fayetteville. No, Mayhem shoots people. That's basically Trump. That's Trump talking about pussy grabbing. But here's the whole point. It's all bullshit. Whatever. Okay. Why did Billy Bush get railroaded? I don't get what Billy Bush did.

[Dawson]

He just sat there listening.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He just was in the bus with the guy.

[Dawson]

He laughed uncomfortably.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Also, sorry. Humanity and ladies of the View, if some guy makes some off color joke to me, locker room talk, lady talk, race talk, I'll give him a fake laugh and then we'll go our separate ways. I'm not gonna fucking coach him up. You're not gonna coach up Donald Trump in a luxury bus.

[Dawson]

Well, you shouldn't do that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And also you have to interview the guy. So do you really wanna get. Now, Donald, I have a daughter and I do not appreciate the way you speak hypothetically of women. So I don't get what happened to Billy Bush. Why did he have to fucking go?

[Dawson]

He's a martyr.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Trump goes on and becomes the president. Billy Bush gets thrown off the air in exile. He's sitting around three years later going, I haven't worked. I'm having a mental breakdown, and I still don't even know what I did.

[Dawson]

It is a strange thing. It happens in society. Yeah. Donald Trump just rolling over guys on accident, like, ruin your life just because it's crazy. You were in the area when I said some crazy stuff.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay. The other thing. I'm looking at my list that I forgot that I hadn't. I don't think I got to Joe, but I don't know if we played or not. But remember my endangered species when theory did we get into that? We pulled a tape. Dawson, you pull the clip off of me and Drew. Basically, we take. I know you're giving a look, but it'll come around. It was the Karen Bass presser. Wasn't a presser, but she answered someone a certain way. It was the. I like to get my hair done in Chicago. And it was the Tony. Tony, Tony concert.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the mayor of Oakland. No, Mayor of San Francisco. London Breed.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sorry, that was London Breed. And then. And then the other thing we pulled was the God, what's her name? From Chicago during COVID Lori Lightfoot. Lori Lightfoot would like to get her hair done. So fuck off. You know what I mean? So I was in the process. And then we have Karen Bass in her no clip. I think that one should have. So I was in the process of yelling at Dr. Drew, a theory which I've had for a long time, which is borne out. And I've yelled about it on this show. As the Karen Bass clip was happening, which is when you take people. Okay. Oh, and it happened. Basically, the reason the lady who was the president of Harvard, the black lady who was the president of Harvard no longer has her job is because some white bitch tried to fucking bully her in front of Congress. And she's like, fuck you. No, I'm not gonna say what you want me to say, which was condemning violence on campus or whatever, against Jews or whatever. She wouldn't do it. She wouldn't do it. Not because she was. Okay. A bunch of stuff. First off, you take these women and you elevate them into Positions they didn't earn. You make them and it's like, hey, bitch, you run Harvard now. And it's like, why? Because we need a black woman to run Harvard. And you're a black woman. Or Kamala Harris, or we'll make you the mayor of. I mean, we're not making you. We'll vote you in to be the mayor of San Francisco or LA or Chicago. But it'll be understood that you're there because you're a black woman. It's an optics thing. We like it. We like this thing. Then you get into that position and you feel like you're an apex predator. Like I'm saying all the time. All the other animals sleep in trees, but not lions. They sleep right in the middle of the Serengeti. They just sprawl out. They go to bed because they don't give a shit. Because they're apex. They're top, Right?

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Now, my theory is and always was Gavin Newsom's governor. Gavin Newsom gets busted going to the French laundry with 35 of his closest friends after he's locked everyone else in their fucking house, right? He gets popped. He has to fucking apologize. He has to go up and eat shit. He has to talk about, you know, in hindsight, I wouldn't have done it again, offer some excuse. He goes, there's more people there than I thought, but I have to practice what I preach. He has to go eat shit. Cuz he's a heterosexual white dude. He's gotta go. Be remorseful.

[Dawson]

Oh, I see where you're going.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

When you ask Lori Lightfoot, black lesbian, hey, you've locked everyone in their house and you're not letting anyone go out and get haircuts. But you got a haircut. Why is that okay? She goes, cuz I wanted a haircut, bitch. Okay, what are you gonna do, fire me? Yeah, hire the Lori Lightfoot one is good. And then when you ask London breed black woman mayor of San Francisco why she was out partying with Tony, Tony, Tony, when everyone else has to wear masks and stay indoors, she gave a fuck off answer too. And as I was screaming about that with Dr. Drew, I walked out of the studio and somebody asked God, Karen Bass if she regretted going to Ghana. And we'll see her answer as well. But I'll start. Look, people think this is a theory. I don't think it's a theory. Politicians, when they get busted doing stuff, have to go up and eat a dick. I mean, Gavin Newsom doesn't give a fuck about you or The French Laundry or going out to the French Laundry. He's not scared of COVID He doesn't give a fuck. But he still realizes optics. That was bad. I got caught. Now I got to go up and give some. Find Gavin Newsom, too, with the French Laundry. And you'll just see him up there. Like, go ahead, white dude. Go ahead, heterosexual dude. Fucking eat some cocktails. Suck. Let's do this. Suck a dick. Get up there and apologize or get up there and pretend to apologize. All right, let's find Karen Bass. Find Lori Light. Fine, we'll just find. All right. She shuts down all the salons, but she goes to the salon City. I'm on national media, and I'm out in the public eye. And, you know, I'm. I'm a person who. I take my personal hygiene very seriously. She cares. As I said, I felt like I needed to have a haircut. I'm not able to do that myself. Her apology is, I care about my shit. Unlike your wife. Like every fucking woman you've ever met.

[Dawson]

I didn't know that was the lady with the haircut. Cause I could do that haircut.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, you could get the flow be.

[Dawson]

I could line her up.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right, so she gets busted getting a haircut, and her apology is, I like to get haircuts, so fuck off. And here's London Breed after she gets busted with the Tony, Tony, Tony concert. I was sitting at my table, and when. I don't know about you and whether or not you know who Rafael Siddiq and Dwayne Wiggins are, but I don't know about you, but if you know who they are, I don't care where you're sitting, you're gonna get up and start dancing. My drink was sitting at the table. I got up and started dancing because I was feeling the spirit. And I wasn't thinking about a mask. I was thinking about having a good time. And in the process, I was following the health orders. Yeah. Oh, Byron, you edited this, by the way. We did work on this a week ago. I don't know what happened to it. But we have it now. Now we have it. Yeah, but that was edited. All right, so. All right, well, now I'm just gonna say what I already said. If we're doing this, I didn't think we. I knew we had the tape, but I don't know why Byron didn't know we had the tape or we didn't know we had the tape. Do we know they have this?

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, Byron. There's a. Now that version. Did you edit that one or you haven't edited one? Byron? Yeah, it was on your screen.

[G]

The mashup is there.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, that's the one you edited. It's not the way you mentioned apex predator politician. So that's why I called it.

[G]

My bad. I'm sorry.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No, no, I'm not. I'm confused. I don't know. We had these things edited. Right, but did that one that we just saw was that one you just pulled up or is it one Byron edited?

[Adam Carolla]

What we just saw were the existing videos that we had pulled up individually and had prepared for when you call for Lori Lightfoot haircut, London Breed. Tony, Tony, Tony.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, so we did have all that.

[Adam Carolla]

So we have those videos. I believe we have the Karen Bass as well.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right, I just wanted. Everyone seemed confused 10 minutes ago.

[Adam Carolla]

I just didn't know what you were talking about with Karen Bass. Okay, but Joe told me.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But also Byron edited that video. He did something. Anyway, I'll talk to you off the air about it. All right, so here's. But now what? All right, well, let's just show me. Who gives a fuck. Here we go. You can tell apex predators by where they sleep. They don't look for tree branches and they don't look for stuff I didn't think we had ready flop out, you know what I mean? All right, so I already said this, so we're good. But I was saying this on Drew's show with Drew and then I went, I left the studio and that's when Karen Bass got asked, is she. Sorry, she went to Ghana before the fires. Looking back, would you have taken that trip overseas?

[Unknown Speaker]

You know, I am going to focus.

[G]

Today on what we.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

No. Can I ask you one question about brown couch? So she got prodded and just went, no, fuck off. Which is why the chick from Harvard is fired because she just went fuck off.

[Dawson]

She said many years ago that if she was elected mayor that she wouldn't leave.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dawson]

And then she did.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right, find me Gavin. Now let's contrast the apex predators. Now, by the way, it is a thing where these women have not been confronted. They live in such a gravity free environment with a press that props them up and hails them as queens all the time, that the second someone starts asking a real question, they get pissed real fast.

[Dawson]

I'm formulating a theory that's kind of.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Like find me newsome. And to me it's more. And French laundry. Sorry.

[Dawson]

No, to me it's more that us as Humans are used to living in small groups. And this guy represents the, you know, like, you say that dad kind of figure of a guy who's like, you know what I mean? That's why the girl's so angry at this and can get this going. And we all think of the black ladies as well. They're historically downtrodden. We like, we give them a pass for doing crazy stuff.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But have you ever. There's an interesting phenomenon that I've always studied, and it started when I was playing in the Dodger celebrity baseball game. When I told a guy who I thought was like a low level third base coach in the Mud Hen league or something, I told the guy to fuck off. And the guy turned out to be one of the most powerful agents in Hollywood's history. Okay.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And when I told this dude to go fuck himself and I told him I was gonna beat him up, he turned and looked at me like, he hasn't been told to fuck off in 35 years.

[Dawson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He didn't know what to do with it.

[Dawson]

I know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And he went into a thing. And I realize as a dude like you or as a dude like me, or when you're not protected by your skin color or your race or your gender or your sexual proclivities, you have. You get told fuck off a lot. And you have to eat dick.

[Dawson]

You become hardened.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You have to be e dick. These women get fucked because they've been pushed to the front of the line and no one's told them to fuck off in a long time. And they just go, I don't. Yeah, like someone needs to tell them, look, you're doing a press conference. You got busted. Now fucking go up there and apologize. And they don't go, fuck you. You know what? The greatest one. All right, we'll play Newsom. Now. Here's what Newsom's got to do when he gets busted. I made a bad mistake. Instead of sitting down, I should have stood up and walked back, got in my car and drove back to my house. Instead, I chose to sit there with my wife and a number of other couples that were outside the household. You can quibble about the guidelines, etc. Etc. But the spirit of what I'm preaching all the time was controversial, contradicted, and I gotta own that. And so I want to apologize to you because. All right, that's not Rafael Siddiq and Cedric Lamar hadn't been at the same club. He just fucking ate a dick. Because you have to.

[Dawson]

He's worming around. Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And Karen Bass is getting pushed on. You're in Ghana. Are you sad this guy? I want to heal the guy. Are you saying no?

[Dawson]

She just bolts back with a smile.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Because she's not used to getting prodded. Yeah, because she sailed through.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

She's a protected species. She's an apex predator. She fucking sleeps in the middle of the Serengeti. That's what I'm saying.

[Dawson]

Yeah, you're right. Huh?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's right, whitey. You better apologize, son. Get to apologizing. All right, now we have AI Adam. We have an intro.

[Adam Carolla]

We all know that AI is artificial, but is it intelligent like the Ace man? Let's find out with AI Ace.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right, so how's this game go, Joe?

[Mark Dubowitz]

All right, so here's what happened. We got a message on our sub stack from one of our Substack subscribers, Chris Druff. And he said he needed advice from Adam Carolla from Loveline about his. About cutting off an ex girlfriend who cheated on him. So he turned to AI and he put in, AI have Adam Carolla tell me to quit messing with my cheating ex girlfriend. And he got a response, and he wanted to know how that would compare with your response. And then what we did, we were inspired by this. We found an AI model. We put in a ton of Adam Carolla and built an intelligence system that mimics Adam. And now I've got five different topics that. That Adam weighed in on. So you can weigh in on the girlfriend or any one of these topics or anything you want to do.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Look, the thing about the cheating girlfriend is if you can't get over it, then you gotta leave immediately. If it's just gonna bug. If it's gonna bug you. You know, there's Guys have certain things where, like maybe this chick slept with your best friend before you started dating her, and you just can't get it out of your bean, you know, or she cheated or whatever this digression is. If you won't let it go. And you're constantly gonna sort of. You know, people have a thing. You ever have like a sore tooth and you flick it with your tongue all fucking day, and it's like, why am I doing this? Why am I flicking my sore tooth? Why every time I flick it with my tongue, it hurts, but I just do it. And that's a dude wiring.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And if that's your wiring and you ain't getting over it, then you just leave tomorrow. That's it. Because it's not fair to her, and it ain't fair to you either.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right. Oh, wait. Do we have his answer?

[Mark Dubowitz]

How's the AI we are building a model of your voice, but in the meantime, we have the closest we can find, which is evil Jackman as your answers.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Here you go.

[Dawson]

Building a business may feel like a big jump, but On Deck small business.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Loans can help keep you afloat. With lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to 250,000, on deck lets you choose the loan that's.

[Dawson]

Right for your business.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

As a top rated online small business lender, On Deck's team of loan advisors.

[Dawson]

Can help you find the right business.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Loan to fit your needs. Visit ondeck.com for more information.

[Dawson]

Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

On Deck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

[H]

All right, listen up, pal. This is Adam Carolla, and I'm gonna give it to you straight. Cause nobody else will.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

All right, pause it. It's already too much stall talk for me. I'm not. It's dumb people. Professional wrestlers and politicians go, all right, you want an answer? I'll give you the answer. A lot of people aren't prepared for that. It's like, stop fucking stalling. That's what Kamala Harris does. Just fucking start spitting out answers. Stop stalling with double talk. So already this is bad because I'm not a staller, but all right.

[H]

Talking to your ex girlfriend, the one who cheated on you. What are you, some kind of masochist? You think by keeping her in your life, you're gonna win her back or approve something? News flash. You're just proven you're a doormat.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I've never said news flash in my life.

[H]

She cheated. That's the ultimate betrayal. You're worth more than being someone's backup plan or emotional punching bag. Get some self respect. Block her number. Delete her from social media and move on. There's a whole world out there with people who won't screw you over. So do yourself a favor. Stop the chit chat with the cheater. Focus on you. Cause at the end of the day, you're the only one you can count on. Now go out there.

[Dawson]

Mahalo.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Now go out there and do something. All right.

[Mark Dubowitz]

AI, Adam left us at the end, all right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm ready for more. If Byron's on a call, he should probably tell him to do it in another room or something. Perhaps so. I mean, hot mic is what I'm saying.

[Mark Dubowitz]

Real Adam.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[Mark Dubowitz]

What's your thoughts on fake boobs?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Not a fan. I understand. Sometimes necessary, but not a fan. I think when there were novelty was kind of interesting back in the day. But as I mature, I drift closer to the natural boob. I'm a fan of the natural boob. It's always kind of weird too, when people get the fake boob and then show them off. Like, Lauren Sanchez Bezos's squeeze has big fake titties and is always shoving them out there. And it's just a weird thing. Like, if they're real tits and you want to shove them out there, so be it. But if they're fake tits, you just bought those tits and now you're pushing them out there. So I have an average sized dork, right? But I would be a very obnoxious person if I got a fake dick added onto my dick. Like if I just went, well, let's enhance my dick. I got six and a half inches on a good day, but let's make it 13 and let's girth it up a little bit. And then I start walking around in a banana hammock this way. Hey, I'm shoving my feet. Fucking big fake cock everywhere. And then you'd go, that's. You just had silicone injected into your cock and now you're pushing. Yeah, I like to wear Daisy Dukes. You know me. And you're like, adam, the sweatpants are like four sizes too small. See the package? Look at the package. Oh, the inauguration's coming up. Oh, we're going to the inaugural. Let me get my dick. Show my fucking. You know what? I'm just going to show up in cycling shorts and I'm going to pull my dick up against my stomach and then I'm going to pull my shorts up real high so that you can see the outline of my cock. Like, you'd go, you're the most obnoxious, worst person in the world. If that was you as a dude, why does Lauren Sanchez get a pass? Why did the fake titty chicks get a pass? And no wonder all the other women hate the fake titty chicks. We would fake. We would hate the fake dick guys. You know what I mean?

[Dawson]

I already do.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They already do. Lauren Sanchez is wearing a lacy bra underneath a blazer at the Trump inauguration. She can't not show. There is no circumstance that she can't show her fake tits off. Yeah, she's weird, right?

[Dawson]

We have the technology, okay.

[Mark Dubowitz]

AI, Adam, what do you think of fake boobs?

[H]

Fake boobs are like Teslas. Some people love them. Some think they're a symbol of everything wrong with society. Look, I'm not against fake boobs. You want to upgrade the hardware, fine. But don't act like they're not fake. Own it. Call them what they are. Factory installed options. They've been around so long now, they're practically vintage. Like rotary phones, but way more distracting.

[Dawson]

You're like a Hacky Fonz.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This is a bad 80s DJ. That's not me.

[Dawson]

I know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I'm this close to dropping trout.

[Adam Carolla]

Dude, I miss all that rotary phone humor.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, AI sucks. It's worthless. I'm happy we put a lot of.

[Mark Dubowitz]

You into this AI to build this thing.

[Dawson]

Wow, they really hacked you up, bud.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But it's using phrases I've never used.

[Dawson]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, it's just weird, right?

[Dawson]

It's more like a weird thing.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's only going off of me. So where's it getting phrases I don't use?

[Mark Dubowitz]

You want to give us real Adam's thoughts on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Worthless sacks of space, but it's our fault for elevating them to like, hey, let's give Meghan Markle and Prince Harry $100 million to do a podcast. Like, who cares what these two fucking bird brains have? They have no thought, what does Meghan Markle know that I need to know? She doesn't know anything. They're fucking obnoxious and they're idiots, and it's our fault because we do this thing where they go, oh, the Prince and Meghan Markle are speaking. First off, I hate all the race hustlers. She is a race hustler. She presents as an attractive white lady. So all the shit that she talks about when she talks about discrimination all the time would be fine, except for no one thinks of her as a black woman. So where's the cause of discrimination? I don't get how it works. If we can't tell you're black, then where does the discrimination come in? Yeah, so she's a fucking whiner. She's a race hustler. He's a fucking henpecked pussy. And I've not heard one thought. Like, I've never went, did you hear what Meghan Markle's. You know what her take on Israel is like? She has no fucking thoughts. Not their fault. They're just dumb people. It's our fault for worshiping at the altar of idiots who have nothing to say. That's it. But look, look, the queen of I don't have anything to say is Oprah. And now she's gonna sit down and have an interview with the two people that have nothing to say. So the queen of nothing to say is gonna sit down with the Duke and Duchess of fucking nothing to say. Only thing I'm happy about is we can turn the page on this chapter of our society. We now go, fuck these two idiots and fuck Oprah. She doesn't have anything to say. We're gonna listen to interesting people who do podcasts or on interesting voices. We want to hear what real people have to say. All right. Sorry, AI.

[Mark Dubowitz]

Adam is learning in real time.

[H]

Ah, the royal couple who quit their jobs and moved to LA to lecture us on privacy while signing Netflix deals and releasing memoirs. Harry's out here spilling all the royal tea, and Megan's looking at him like, we still got bills to pay, buddy. Look, I don't care what castle you came from. If you're living in California and doing Oprah interviews, you're just another influencer with a better accent.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Hold on.

[Dawson]

This AI is trash.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This guy. You know his voice. These guys are doing the Fonz. I thought, no, I'm gonna give Dawson a shot at this one. Whose voice is this?

[Adam Carolla]

If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Billy Vera.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This is too much. Good stuff. That's who this guy is. He's the am. PM voice. Billy and the Beaters. What was Billy's band? Billy. Billy Vera had hits.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

And he then became the voice of ampm. He came on this show, he just started talking, and I was like, I know that voice.

[Adam Carolla]

Billy Vera and the Beaters.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, that's what I said, right?

[Dawson]

You suddenly wanted beaters. I was like, mountain deer.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I go, yeah. I go, yeah. I was craving a hot dog with cheese in it, you know? And I was like. In the middle of the interview, I was like, are you the voice of ampm? It's like too much good stuff. And I was like, oh, that's you. That is Billy Vera. We have him somewhere saying something, but that's an ACE Award. That's what this fucking guy sounds. He's doing Billy Vera as the AMPM guy. He's not doing Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

It might have won Best Impression. As Billy Vera. As Billy Vera.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, really? We'll try to find a clip of that somewhere.

[Adam Carolla]

I have all those at home.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, there's something on the Internet somewhere. Or Billy. There's gotta be ampm.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, There's Billy Vera all over the place. Yeah, we can find that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. All right. Anyway, that's who this guy is. Sorry. Go ahead.

[Dawson]

You.

[Mark Dubowitz]

You want to do one more?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, Regular.

[Mark Dubowitz]

Adam, what's your thoughts on the Kansas City Chiefs and their recent string of controversial calls by referees?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

When teams are dynasties, it is three. There's three elements to becoming a dynasty. You have to have the quarterback, you have to have the coach, you have to have the personnel, and you have to win. But you have to have a dusting of juju, of luck, of weirdness. When you go back and look at any dynasty, you take the Patriots, what happened? The tuck rule. I don't even know what the fuck. I've heard the tuck rule explained 200 times. I still don't know what the fuck it means. No one knows what it means. Quarterback's got the ball, he's going to pass, but he said not to pass. So he starts to bring the ball in, and then he gets stripped. Okay? That's called fumbling. It happens eight times a weekend where the quarterback's back and he's like. If you throw the ball forward and the guy hits your arm, that's a forward motion, forward pass. Fine. Or if you get stripped, it's getting stripped. So the whole reason the Patriots exist is on some weird fucking rule that I'd been watching the NFL for 40 years. I've never heard it, never been implemented. He got stripped. The game's over. There's that. There's weird little things. Like when they then went to the super bowl and they beat the Rams and they're on that final drive. The guy caught a flare pass or whatever. He got tackled in bounds, clearly, but the ref said he was out of bounds, and they stopped the clock to help the driver. Whatever. There's all these weird little things. Nobody just fucking dominates. Outright weird little things that happen. And when you are a dynasty, those weird little intangible things start happening in your favor. At some point, you stop being a dynasty, and they stop. So KC Is the dynasty. And the dynasties get the weird bounces of the balls and the calls of the ref and the weird little things that happen that don't happen for other teams when there are a dynasty. And that's what you're witnessing with the Kansas City Chiefs right now.

[Dawson]

All right, Now a item.

[H]

Look, I'm not saying the refs are in on some grand conspiracy, but when the Chiefs are getting every call, it feels like we're watching WWE with helmets. I mean, Mahomes gets sneezed on, and it's a flag. Meanwhile, some poor bastard on the other team gets hit so hard, he's coughing up his ancestors, and it's play on. Refs gotta learn. We're not here to watch them call games. We're here for football, not a flag parade.

[Dawson]

It's getting smarter, I'll give you that. It's getting smarter, right? Oh, you mean ketchup ball, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Try our tasty new sub salads and more at ambm.

[Adam Carolla]

Too much good stuff.

[Dawson]

Well, I want this job.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's who. This guy's doing too much good stuff. He's doing Billy Vera. He's not doing Adam Corolla. He sounds. That's what he sounds like. Billy Vera. Why is he doing Billy Vera? Not me.

[Mark Dubowitz]

AI.

[Adam Carolla]

Intelligence undetermined. AI.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Ace. I feel like my job's safe. My job is safe, Definitely. All right, you got some news you want to roll into?

[Dawson]

We got some news. You want to jump right into it or should we take. All right, no break today. Go right into it, man. Look, I know they pulled this up. Trump slams a sermon asking him to show mercy towards LGBTQ people and immigrants.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's on them. You could see that dyke coming a mile away. Why is she. Yeah, how do they presiding over this?

[Dawson]

I don't know exactly why they did this. The National Prayer Service was one of several events presidents attend around being sworn in, so maybe it's outside of them. I don't know. I thought that it was his party. He would curate the entire party.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But Dawson has the clip.

[Adam Carolla]

She says, well, I sent it to Byron. He's not here right now.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, where's Byron at?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Dawson]

We lost our men. Man down.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Okay, well, where is Byron? Is he somewhere. Oh, okay. All right, well, keep going and we'll. When Byron?

[Dawson]

Well, I'll just. Yeah. Following a traditional inaugural prayer service at Washington National Cathedral on Tuesday, and during which an Episcopal bishop called on President Donald Trump to show mercy towards the people. LGBTQ people and immigrants. Here we go.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Now I have it in the name.

[G]

Of our God, I ask you to.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Have mercy upon the people in our.

[G]

Country who are scared.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Now. They're scared.

[G]

There are gay, lesbian, transgender children in.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Democratic, Republican, and independent families, some who fear for their lives. All right, stop it. Well, that's on them. It's 2025. Get the fuck over it. No one gives a fuck about you. Stop with the narcissistic fear. And by the way, what exactly are they talking about? You know, like, you're a lesbian and you're 19 or you're a lesbian and you're 14. Like, I don't know, really? 20, 25.

[Dawson]

They think they're gonna round them up in camps. I don't understand.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I don't know what Trump having. Okay, okay. We just had Biden for four years. Talk about what he's gonna do for black people, but he didn't do anything. But are they still scared or there's something gonna get done or what's gonna go on with the LGBT and the trans community, and then what's Trump doing? And. But just shut the fuck up and get the fuck on this. By the way, all this talk is why we don't have fire prevention. Just talk, talk, talk, talk about sitting down in a seat at the table. It's all the extra talk I've been fucking talking about for a million years. Nothing ever happens. Nothing ever changes. There is no plan. Donald Trump doesn't give a fuck. If you want to dyke out with your girlfriend or Lezov, go ahead and do what you want. He doesn't give a fuck. That's it. Okay, but everyone has to grandstand. It's all narcissism is what it is. Now, I have no idea how this chick wasn't vetted, but here we go, everyone. And now all the heroes who oppose Trump are gonna step up. It's gonna be awesome. All right, what else you got? Mayhem.

[Dawson]

Yeah, yeah. Let me just get this Trump out of the way. The Trump administration shuts down the White House Spanish language page and social media. The funny part about this is that gives a 404 message, but it included a go home button.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They're leaning into it.

[Dawson]

Go home. Kind of rude, but in a page. If you click that. It was a page featuring a montage of Trump at his first term and on the campaign trail. But the button was later updated to read go to homepage.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, I see. Yeah, I see.

[Dawson]

I think there was a little troll right there. But, yeah, they took down the social media. That's in Spanish. The. At La Classa, La Casa Blanca, the government page on reproductive freedom, were also disbanded. So they're basically, you know, completely taking the Spanish language off anything White House related.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Well, here's the thing. So I've been in. The Spanish language thing is a perfect example of these do gooders who fuck everyone up. When I was here, when there was a big debate about English as a second language and we need Spanish speaking teachers and these people need to be taught in the language that they know. My thing is get the 8 year olds hit them hard with English so they speak good English by the time they graduate so they can get a fucking job. In your kind world, you speak to them in Spanish, they speak to you in Spanish, and they never learn proper English and thus have jobs where they're gardeners and day laborers because they can't be lawyers and doctors because they haven't mastered the language. So who really cares about the kids more? The nice person who's learning, who's teaching them in their own language, or the asshole white guy who's me who wants them to learn English so that they don't have to be your fucking gardener when they graduate. They could be your lawyer.

[Dawson]

Seems like it would be a healthier nation to have everybody on the same page linguistically.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It would be nice.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah. But they don't do that because they have to kowtow to those people because they want their votes. But once they start losing that vote, which they're losing, I wonder if they're gonna start turning on them. They kind of have. It is kind of funny. It's funny when the ethnics, you know, like when people get mad at a black guy that voted for Trump and stuff. Like, come on, dude, you're slack. What are you freaking doing? What's going on with the Hispanic people? What are you doing? It's like, I don't know, voting for someone other than your shitty candidate. How about that?

[Dawson]

Well, speaking of. Tracy Morgan says he felt culturally isolated at SNL for his first three years. Calls it the whitest show in America. Yeah, he mentioned that. You know, I wanted to show them my world, how funny it was, speaking of, like, black culture. But the first three years, I felt like I was being culturally isolated sometimes. I'm coming from a world of black culture, I'm an inner city kid. To be on the whitest show in America, I felt by myself. I felt like they weren't getting it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I mean, look, there's reference points, you know what I mean? Like, I'm old, and if I ever try to make music reference points with people, nobody knows what the fuck I'm talking about ever. So. And, you know, I reference some sitcom that nobody's talked about, you know, And I get there's cultures and there's reference points, you know, and in a way, it's like trying to do comedy in Europe or in a different place, you know, where you can't go out. I couldn't, eh? I guess I could go to England, do some Gavin Newsom as a retard, jokes. But it's not gonna land like it would land in Orange County.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You know what I mean?

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So, yeah, there is that, but maybe it's a black thing, but it's more of a kind of where you. What you ate, you know, Like, I don't know anything about really, like, Cubans, you know, and Cubans from Miami, or talk about the sandwiches and plantains and stuff like that. I'm like, I get it, but it's not. It wouldn't be good. I'm not a good audience for Cuban comedy.

[Dawson]

Yeah. If you think about it, he was on during that. A certain time from 96 to 2003.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He.

[Dawson]

You know, so there's a. It's a different time in American history, a different time in the culture of Saturday Night Live. You know what I mean? The. Yeah, they have a. Keenan's been on for the past 20 years, and there's a more, like, inclusive sort of cast, but back then it was very, very white.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Eddie Murphy predated Tracy and was a star and seemed to get along okay. But anyway, listen, I like Tracy, but I don't know. I'm all for just giving. I would like a moratorium on race talk.

[Dawson]

Yeah, let's just not talk about it for the next four years. See how it works.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Unless you have a apex predator theory like mine. Yeah, then that's fine. That's acceptable.

[Dawson]

All right, look, some more celebrity news. Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg reveal that they sneak off to have sex in public. Yeah. I don't know. For me, this, like, a little sketchy to get a sex crime for that. Like, could be on a registry forever, even if you are Jenny McCarthy.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Oh, really?

[Dawson]

Donnie Wahlberg. I mean, I don't know.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He loves her so much.

[Dawson]

Yeah, I get it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I get part of it. I get. I get the first six months. I don't. I don't get year 17. Like, he is so goddamn into her.

[Dawson]

Yeah. He loves old lady. I think it's pretty beautiful.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

It's good, except for in comparison. You look at it. You know what I'm saying?

[Dawson]

What do you mean, in comparison?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Geez. You know, you ever get in those. You're in relationships and you turn on Entertainment Tonight and what did. What did Donnie Wahlberg do for Jenny McCarthy for Valentine's Day? And she's like, I rented out a barge. I put 200 million long stem roses on the barge. Your woman's sitting next to you.

[Dawson]

Yeah, yeah, she's staring.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

You got her fucking window tint. You got her window tint on her vega for Valentine's Day, I rented a barge. I put 200 million long stem roses on it. Then I got the beach boys to reunite, to come on the boat to serenade. And your fucking woman just looks at you and she goes, you would never ever do that for me. You would never do that for me. You would never. Then I bought her a Prada purse that holds four people. It's so big, it's one off. And we flew on the Concord to Paris. And they just, you see, a woman's getting pissed because she does the, you would never do that thing for me. So that's why I don't like these jackoffs because they're always doing this thing and it's on TV and it's agitating the other women. You see where I'm at.

[Dawson]

Took me to AM PM for our anniversary.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

He got me a hot dog that had chili in it. All right, Mayhem. Mark Dubowitz is going to join us. He's an attorney, he's a venture capitalist, he's an expert on all things in the Middle East. I'll do a one on one with him. Or you can hang out, whatever you want. What do you want?

[Dawson]

Yeah, I'll sit in. Sit in. I might gain some knowledge.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Sit in. We'll take a quick break, talk to Mark right after this. Well, you want to start a business, your own business, a small business, and grow it this year. Let's do this. And now's the best time to start. Shopify is going to help you. I started a business and I use Shopify and I'm glad I did. Shopify makes it simple to create your brand, open for business and get your first sale, get your store up and running. It's easy. And they've got thousands of customizable templates that can help you with all the details like shipping, taxes, payments from one single dashboard, allowing you to focus on the important stuff like growing your business because you want to be freed up to grow your business, not burdened with the nickel and dime stuff. Let Shopify help you with that. With Shopify, your first sale is closer than you think. It's Shopify, right, Dawson?

[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

The spirit of Murrow. Jennings Cronkite. Here's another great moment in local news.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

If you looked out your window and thought, well, it looks a little cold, but I wish I had a reporter freezing on my TV in front of me, it's your lucky day. The good news is that the snow has kind of let down for a lot of it. The bad news is that everything else still sucks.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a great moment in local news. Now back to the Adam Carolla Show.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Mark Dubowitz is joining us. He's an expert Middle Eastern affairs as well as an attorney and a former venture capitalist. And also, I'm curious, I don't know anything about Iran other than they're horrible and that's all I hear. But I also don't want them to get a nuclear device because that sounds like bad for everybody. But what do we need to know about Iran that sort of the average person doesn't.

[G]

So, Adam, first of all, thanks so much for having me on. And I think with Iran, one needs to first distinguish between the country of Iran and the Iranian people and the regime in Iran. I mean, this is a brutal, repressive, aggressive regime that's been in power since 1979. And what I think people need to know is that the majority of Iranians despise this regime. They've been on the streets calling for death to the dictator, calling for the end of the regime certainly since 2009. And millions of Iranians have turned out in 2009, 2017, every year since then, 2022, 23 Iranian women on the streets ripping off their hijabs and saying, end this gender apartheid. So I think important for your listeners to understand that it's really the regime that is anti American, anti Israel and is trying to build a nuclear weapon. And it's the majority of Iranians that really are looking for American support to bring down this regime.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

So I have theories that are based on sort of in psychology more than they're based in Middle Eastern policy. But these guys are bullies and they really only understand guys who ball up their fist and punch them in the face. The whole notion of trying to cut deals and be friendly, and it's a sort of diplomacy where we go, look, we're creating terrorists, we have to understand them and be more inclusive and culture, whatever, I think they just look at that as weak. And I think when a Biden comes around, or even Obama comes around, certainly Hillary Clinton or something like that, they just go weak. I think they respond to crazy and strong. And that's why I kind of like Trump in these situations. Cuz I feel like they're scared of him because he's erratic and they're not sure exactly what he's gonna do and it keeps them off guard. But I don't know, you tell me, what's your take, Adam?

[G]

I totally agree with you. I mean, and we have some history and evidence to demonstrate that. I mean, President Obama in his first term was sort of drag kicking and screaming to impose maximum sanctions on Iran by the Congress, which overwhelmingly Democrats and Republicans got together to force the Trump, the Obama administration to really bring the regime in Iran to its knees. And then Obama went to negotiate with the Iranians and they ran circles around his negotiators. And he did this 2015 nuclear deal which gave, gave Iran really patient pathways to nuclear weapons because all the restrictions would disappear with sunset within about a decade. And then President Trump came in and he imposed what he called maximum pressure. And he put on a whole slew of sanctions that really brought the Iranian economy to its knees. And then he did something unprecedented. He killed this guy, Qassem Soleimani, who is the world's most dangerous terrorist no one had ever heard of at the time. Who was the head of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, Quds Force, who was responsible for killing and maiming thousands of Americans, not to mention hundreds of thousands of Middle Easterners. And President Bush was unwilling to go after him. Certainly President Obama was unwilling to go after him. And Trump ordered Joint Special Operations Command to kill him based on intelligence, really exquisite intelligence provided by the Israeli Mossad. And what's interesting is for 11 months after that, the Iranians were terrified and in fact they stopped expanding their nuclear program. And it's only when Biden came in and he said, you know what, no maximum pressure, no military force. I want to negotiate with the Iranians and go back to the Obama deal that the Iranians began to massively expand their nuclear program. And that's where we are today. After four years of, I think Biden appeasement with respect to Iran, they now have a massive nuclear weapons program and they're turning the screw from turning that program into a weapon. And so now this is what Trump is inheriting. And I'm hoping that he goes back to the old Trump, which really shows serious pressure and US Leverage and the credible threat of US Military force, because that's the only way he's ever going to get a deal that defangs Iran's nuclear weapons program.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What's in it for Biden and Obama and others to play ball with Iran? I never get what would their argument be if they were saying, okay, I've heard what you had to say, Mark, but you have to understand, here's what we're dealing with.

[G]

Yeah, I mean, I certainly had these debates with Obama administration officials, Biden administration officials, by the way, many of them were the same officials. And their whole theory of the case is that if you escalate against the regime in Iran, the response will be more escalation. So we need to de escalate. We need to find an off ramp, we need to find confidence building measures. We need to engage the Iranians in diplomacy and then we can persuade them through our diplomatic aptitude that we can actually come up with a deal that constrains their nuclear advances. And by the way, you know those Israelis well, wow, those Israelis are escalating against Iran, escalating against Hezbollah and Hamas, and that escalation is only going to lead to more escalation. Well, it turned out that that wasn't the case.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right?

[G]

I mean, these really show showed President Biden that he was just flat out wrong, that the Israelis ignored his advice and they went after Hezbollah. And Adam, you followed this. I'm sure. With the, the pagers and the walkie talkies. And then killing the head of Hezbollah, Hassan Nasrallah, taking out, you know, Hezbollah's weapons capabilities, missile capabilities, killing the political head of Hamas inside Iran, guy named Ismail Haniya, and, and really eviscerating Hamas's military command structure. So the Israelis did something very different. They escalated to de escalate rather than de escalated in order to try to strike a deal. And I think that's the fundamental difference between Biden, Obama and Prime Minister Netanyahu. And we'll see where President Trump falls in his second term.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I mean, I've been. I grew up with a kind of hippie dippy mom and I got this spoon fed spot. Sting wrote a song in that 1980s about the Russians loving their children too, and stuff like that. What they do is they graft on their own morality and mindset to a group that does not share it at all and wants you dead. And they go, but if they only understood that we don't mean harm, that we sort of come in peace and that we want to live in unity. If they understood that, then they would act accordingly. And we have to not agitate them. They have to understand, understand it. And that works about as well as community policing. It's like, no, all they understand is there's less cops and that means more robbing. That's how they react. And I wish we didn't live in that society where it's like, all right, Israel, you gotta start take, chop the head off the snake, go ahead and start killing leaders. I hate that. Except for it's that or the alternative, which is they're gonna try to kill you and they don't stop. And I wish there was some sort of magic wand we could go, stop hating the Jews, stop hating the west, stop hating those who are successful. And by the way, we will help you. You can prosper, you can have a good life. We can do this. They're not doing it and so they need to be killed. That's about it.

[G]

I am exactly right. I mean, that's why the distinction between the regime and the people is so important. I mean, I partly agree with Singh. I do think most Iranians love their kids, and I think most Iranians hate the regime. The regime despises their kids. In fact, the regime, in order to put down the Woman Life Freedom protest that occurred in 2022, 2023, and I don't know if many of your listeners know this because it didn't get widely reported, but the regime launched chemical attacks against Iranian schoolchildren in order to break the back of this revolution, this protest.

[Dawson]

So the hijab protest, where everyone was taking off their hijab, was kind of quelled, you're saying, because the children were gassed or poisoned?

[G]

Well, right, in two ways. I mean, these thugs went into the streets and started killing Iranian women and putting them in. Those they didn't kill, they put in this notorious prison called Evan Prison, where they were raped and tortured. But even that didn't quell the protests. And so the regime sent out its thugs and launched chemical attacks against Iranian schoolgirls. And that was, at the end, what broke the back of this protest. Protests. So, you know, that's the thing. I mean, this is a regime that not only despises our kids and wants to kill them, but despises Iranian kids and is prepared to kill them. And so this is what we're dealing with. It's an unfortunate reality, as you say, Adam. That's the world we live in, where, you know, these are not people that share our values. These are not this. These regime leaders do not share our ambitions and aspirations. They're brutal men, and they're. They're men, by the way, and they're hardened men. And they have an ideology, they have a theology. They believe strongly in it. And we. We need to give that some credit. When they say they want to wipe Israel off the map, they mean it. When they say they want to get rid of the Great Satan, the United States of America, they mean it. They're serious. And I think history's replete with examples of. Of people who meant things that we didn't take seriously. And unfortunately, it led to brutal wars in the 20th century and before.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I mean, my take on it is like, I don't want to kill you, but you're forcing us to kill you. So sorry. I feel there's a lot of that, which is. It's not something I think we'd enjoy or want or wish upon anybody, but if your mentality is going to be this, then you have to be killed. So there you go.

[Dawson]

Do you believe that during this new administration, there's more or less likelihood of us getting to a armed conflict with Iran?

[G]

Well, I think President Trump certainly doesn't want to get into armed conflict with anyone. You know, his. His motto is sort of a reprisal of. Of the Ronald Reagan idea of peace through strength. Right. If the United States looks strong, if we have a strong military, that's. That's effective, and we're well armed. And, and we're serious about using it, and we're. And our enemies perceive us as being credible in that respect, then maybe we can limit the wars. And that's what he said, and he's made that very clear. He said that in his inauguration address. He said that many, many times. So I don't think he wants to get into any more Middle Eastern wars or certainly any wars in the Indo Pacific against China. But I think to do so, he understands that America needs to be strong and credible. And I think, Adam, you mentioned this sort of this crazy man theory, right? This madman theory, that if our enemies think Trump is sort of slightly mad, bad and unpredictable, that's actually an advantage. Right. I think President Biden, President Obama were kind of predictable in their responses. Everybody sort of knew what they were going to do, and our enemies understood that. I think with Trump, this unpredictability and the example I gave of killing this guy, Custom Soleimani, was a perfect example of. I mean, nobody thought that would happen. The Islamic Republic of Iran, the regime was shocked, completely shocked. Their whole system was paralyzed by that decision. And I think that's what Trump wants to do. Now, the other side of the coin is the Israelis, and we can talk about the Israelis. The Israelis are not going to allow Iran to develop nuclear weapons. And if you want to talk a little bit more about that, I'm happy to weigh in on it.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

But they.

[G]

They have a very different view of how to stop the Islamic Republic of Iran and a diplomacy. And they have no margin of error because they're a tiny country the size of New Jersey hanging on in the Mediterranean. They're surrounded by hostile countries, no more hostile than the Islamic Republic of Iran.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, I've had an argument or two with people about this, but it's like, I believe that Israel would like to exist and like to exist in peace, but their neighbors want them dead. So now they have to kill them. And the good news is the countries that are not steeped in Sharia law have a little more advancements in the sciences and a little more in the industrial military complex. So it makes it possible for these people who have the technology to destroy the people who are essentially living like it's 2000 years ago over there, but they don't really. I don't think they want to. They just. Just have to. Again, I'm repeating myself also. I think it's kind of comical that we sit here and we're like, Russia and all these rogue nations want Trump to be president. That's why they're X, Y and zing. The cooking things. It's like, no, I think the rogue nations want Biden. They want Kamala Harris. They want Hillary Clinton. The bad actors of the world want those guys, not that guy in office. So it's sort of a flawed premise of saying Russia is trying to get Trump elected or whoever the rogue actor du jour is is trying to get Trump elected. I was like, no, I think that's a nightmare for them.

[G]

Yeah, I think that's right. I mean, I want to touch on Israel for a second because, you know, you mentioned this idea that Israelis just want to live in peace. And I noted before the show on X that they do this. This World Happiness Index. They rank the happiest countries in the world every year. And it just really shocked me that Israel was ranked the fifth happiest country in the world in 2024.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Wow.

[G]

Now, 2024 was a. Was a brutal year for the Israelis, as, you know, October 7, 2023, this Hamas invasion and massacre of Israelis and hostage taking and rapes and tortures, and then. And then a, you know, 15 months of war right through that year in 2024, where the Israelis were having to fight in Gaza and in Lebanon against Iran and, you know, taking serious casualties. And yet Israel was ranked the fifth happiest country in the world after, like, four Scandinavian countries.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

They always take the podium.

[G]

Yeah, they take the podium because what do they have to worry about? I mean, I would argue they have, in some cases, they have more to worry about than we realize. I mean, when you look at what's going on in places like Sweden, with the influx of radical Islamists and how they're taking over Swedish society, I think they got more to worry about than meets the eye. However, the fact that Israel's ranked fifth and ranked fifth during a brutal war says a lot about the society. Right. And I think about Israel as really kind of a model society in that respect, in that they want to live in peace. Like, they want to be Athens. Right. Sort of the idea of Athens during, you know, the time of the Greeks. But they also have to be Sparta. Right. They also have to be not only enjoying life and civilization and culture and food, and they have to be prepared to fight, and the younger generation of Israelis are prepared to fight, and they've really, I think, surprised their parents and grandparents by their willingness to go into these brutal conditions to defend their country. So I think that there's some sort of hope there for Western civilization, because I think the Israelis are not only fighting for their survival, they're fighting for ours, and they're fighting for the survival of the Western civilization. And I hope President Trump appreciates that. I think he does. I think he admires allies that are willing to fight and die in their own defense. I think he admires allies who aren't asking for US Troops to come and save them. I think President Trump wants to limit the number of US Troops that are sent around the world to fight for other countries. And I think with the Israelis, he's got a real model there of a country that's willing to fight and die in its own defense. So I hope the Trump administration provides ironclad support for Israel because, again, it's not just about Israel. It's really about the United States and it's about Western civilization.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

What was the story about returning a lot of cash to Iran from a few years ago? It's probably the Obama administration, but, but we'd had a lot of their cash, I guess, in our possession and we returned a lot of it, I guess. And I always curious why that was like, what was the motivation to return the cash, why Obama did that and what that story was. And again, sort of, what would Obama say if you said, why'd you give all the cash back to Iran? He'd say because. And something would make sense to him at least. But I don't know if it makes sense to us. But what was that story?

[G]

Yeah, so the story is all about the Iran nuclear deal of 2015. And this was a nuclear deal where in exchange for restrictions on Iran's nuclear weapons program, the United States would provide sanctions relief. We would lift sanctions against their economy, against their oil sector, against their automotive sector. And we would also release tens of billions of dollars in frozen oil funds that we had restricted based on our sanctions. And so President Obama would say, well, look, you know, that's the nature of the deal, right? We get these restrictions on their nuclear program and we got to give up tens of billions of dollars in sanctions relief. That's the quid pro quo for the deal.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Deal.

[G]

The problem, of course, with that argument is number one on the, on the nuclear side. As I mentioned earlier, those restrictions were temporary and, and many of them go away this year and over the next few years. And so Iran would be able to massively expand its nuclear program, develop an industrial size enrichment capability, and have near zero nuclear breakout while getting what we had estimated at my think tank, almost a trillion dollars in sanctions relief. So now you would have a regime with a massive nuclear program, a turn of the screw from nuclear weapons and hundreds of billions of dollars that it could be used not only to fortify its economy and its system of internal repression, but to fund all of these terrorist proxies. And that was again the problem with the Obama nuclear deal. It was just a nuclear deal. It didn't deal with Iran's terror armies and it gave those terror armies billions of dollars in sanctions relief based funds in order to do what they did on October 7th, 7th, and, and attack Israel. So that, that was the major story. Now there was sort of a subset of that story where Obama not only gave them sanctions relief, but he sent $1.7 billion in pallets of cash that were like US dollar bills and pallets that were shipped over to Iran in around 2015, 2016 in exchange for, well, you know, they essentially in exchange for U.S. hostages that the Iranians were holding. The Obama administration came up with some other story that it wasn't really about that, but it was about that. And so, you know, that, that got a lot of attention at the time because literally you could see images of these pallets with US 100 bills being shipped to the Islamic Republic. And of course, you know, that's money that they not only can pocket, but very easily move to their terror proxies. And, and that's why Hezbollah and Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad and Shiite militias in Iraq and the Houthis in Yemen and got a total terror windfall after that nuclear deal was reached.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Do they have an end game in terms of the regime, the Iranian regime? For us, we can kind of follow the money and we can get to the bottom of a lot of stuff for them. Is it more follow the religion? Imagine like you say to yourself, all right, you're the strong arm leader of this country. Wouldn't you prefer to not be droned to death by Trump and the Americans? Wouldn't you prefer just to sort of live lavishly and not have uprisings that you had to put down constantly and poison and school age kids and things like that? If they took us and they put us in that position, we would immediately start just enjoying probably the fruits of our labors and everyone else's labors around us that made us put us in this lavish condition. Is it just the religious fanaticism that motivates them or because it seems like there's an easier way to do what they're doing and stay in power? I guess is what I'm saying.

[G]

Yeah, look, I mean, our founding principles, right? Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, right? I mean, that's who we are. That's our ethos. Those are the ideas that we believe in. A fundamental commitment to democracy, to the republic, to better lives for our kids and grandkids. And that's who we are. That's not who Iran's leaders are. Right. I think the majority of Iranians are like that. I mean, you guys know that in la. I mean, you, you know, incredibly successful Iranian Americans in la, in, in upstate New York. I was, I grew up in Toronto. They used to call Toronto Taranto. I think they still do because there's a huge Iranian, American, Iranian, Canadian community there. Incredibly successful. It's the only place in the world where Iranians don't succeed are inside the Islamic Republic of Iran. They're wonderful immigrants wherever they go. So the problem is, inside the Islamic Republic of Iran, they don't succeed because their country is controlled by. Yeah, by religious fanatics. And again, they're men of ideas.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Right.

[G]

I think as Americans, we, we are, we are people of ideas. We believe in our ideas and, you know, certainly in our republic and our constitution. But I think often we give short thrift to the fact that there are other men of ideas and other people of ideas who really believe strongly in those ideas. I mean, it was the problem right. Right through the, through the 30s with Adolf Hitler. I mean, we didn't believe that Hitler really meant what he meant to say and what he wrote in Mein Kampf. And I think, you know, the Brits, the French, and we Americans as well, were shocked when Hitler actually was prepared to bring his country to war and ultimately to destruction in order to pursue those ideas. Ali Khamenei, the supreme leader of Iran, he's Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps. These are hard men with hard ideas, and they believe in these ideas. And those ideas are ideas of spreading the Islamist revolution beyond Iran into the Middle east and globally. They are driving the United States out of the Middle East. They are destroying the state of Israel. And ultimately they are about, if they can, weakening, constraining, undermining, and potentially toppling the American Republic. Now, they have great ambitions, which might sound outrageous and outlandish British and we hear them, but they believe in them and they believe it's possible. But the one thing they do know, they, they think they can achieve is they can be the leader of the Muslim world. And they are trying to inculcate Muslims around the world with their radical views. Now, you know, the opposite of the Islamic Republic, Iran, would be like the United Arab Emirates. I don't know if you, if you guys have ever Been to Dubai or Abu Dhabi, to the uae. I mean, you go there, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's beautiful, it's prosperous, it's stable, it's peaceful. Because Mohammed bin Zayed mbz, who's the leader of the uae, is not Ali Khamenei. He believes in. What we believe in is stability and peace and tolerance and prosperity. So if the Middle east looked like the UAE and not like the Islamic Republic of Iran, you and I, the three of us, wouldn't even be doing a podcast on the Middle east because it would be a pretty peaceful, prosperous, stable and boring place, and we wouldn't need to focus all this time and attention on it. So I really think that the fanaticism of the regime is something that we don't give enough attention to and we as Americans don't think enough about. And we think we can seduce them by flatting them with cash, right?

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah.

[G]

Give them cash and they'll be comfortable in their villas.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I think I always say the reason the Twin Towers are down is because. Because you think as an American, look, you fly a commercial jetliner into a trade center, you're the pilot. You're going to be the first guy that hits the building. Who's going to do that? We do a lot of. I wouldn't do this, so why would you do that? It's a sort of, once in a while I'll find someone who doesn't like barbecue and I'll just go, what? And they're kind of, what? No, you like barbecue. You haven't had the right barbecue. I don't like barbecue. No, that's. Come on. I can't, pardon the pun, digest this information. And I think we. That's how humans think. And we sort of go, they want what we want. They just don't know how to go about it. And we'll show them how to go about it, and then we'll set up some democracy and then they'll like it, you know, and they, they'll prosper and then they'll like that. Like, we don't really understand. It's like here in California, here in la, we have a homeless problem. Well, we got to get them homes, okay? That's not going to solve it. Oh, we've just get some more money, get them some homes, you know? No, these are junkies. They don't think like you're thinking. You think like you're thinking. Like, if I was outside, I'd want to be inside. If someone gave me a home I would go to the home, right? That doesn't work on them. We get into a lot of trouble. And it is right that they have a fanaticism that's wild in that. Like, I could remember, I think it was like the first Gulf War or whatever we're getting into. And I could remember them going, well, we're going to start getting some tanks and some planes and stuff. We're just going to go in and we're going to smoke you guys. And they're like, well, you do that and you're going to feel the sting of Allah's sword on your neck. And it's like, all right, tell that the guy with the A10 warthog who's shooting spent uranium at your old tanks and lighting them up. Like, okay, well, that guy's going to get Allah's sword, too. Like, I don't think he is. I think he's got an A10 Warthog with spent uranium shells and a Gatling gun that we invented, and he's going to smoke your guys. All right, well, here comes Ala's sword. It's like, I. Why would you do that if you didn't believe that? I'd be scared shitless of an A10 warthog with spent uranium shells in a Gatling gun if I was driving a tank from 1952 down.

[G]

They are scared, Adam, of that. So speaking of uranium and al a sword, their answer to that is to develop nuclear weapons. They know they can't take us on conventionally. They've been embarrassed by the Israelis who both, you know, in October and in April of last year showed the Islamic Republic what the Israeli Air Force is capable of doing and, you know, destroy their defenses and significantly reduce their ballistic missile production capability. So they know they can't take us on in a conventional way. And so they're building nuclear weapons. And then you get into the argument of, well, they're building nuclear weapons. But, I mean, you know, Pakistan has nuclear weapons. India has nuclear weapons. Certainly, you know, North Korea has nuclear weapons. We can live with nuclear weapons. We lived with the Soviet Union. They had thousands of nuclear tip missiles aimed at our cities, and we. We were able to deter them. And, and so we can deter the Islamic Republic of Iran, too, because they know that if they use those nuclear weapons against Israel or the United States, we would, you know, eradicate their. Their country. And so we can deter them. And there is that school of thought in Washington that we can deter the Islamic Republic. The problem is, it misses what you're saying and what we're talking about in this conversation is that extreme fanaticism where we celebrate life, they, meaning the Islamic Republic of Iran and this regime celebrate death. They believe there is something better. And in the secular west, we have a debate about whether there's something better in the afterlife. They believe there's something better, which is why the Islamic Republic has been willing to engage in terrorism and has been able to find young men and some young woman willing to be suicide bombers. We think about that as. That's insane. I mean, how could anyone be a suicide bomber? And you mentioned the twin towers in 9 11, right? How can anybody knowingly go to their death in order to murder other people? But they've had no problem recruiting suicide bombers around the world in order to advance this radical Islamist ideology. So would they be prepared to use nuclear weapons? Well, the former president of Iran, Rafsanjani, once said, and he was considered, quote, a moderate and a pragmatist, you know, Israel is a one bomb country. We should be prepared to lose millions of Muslims in order to eradicate the Jewish state. So I think for the Israelis, there's no way they're going to take the chance of getting this one wrong.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Yeah, Mark, this has been interesting and I hope. Yeah, I'm happy that these Israelis are going to do something that we might not be willing to do, but we'll all benefit from it. I'm going to give a website out. Is it fdd.org can people go there to find out more about you?

[G]

Yeah, that's it. And, and I'm at. On X. I'm on at M D U B O W I T C M Dubowitz and I'm, I'm posting there quite regularly. So. Yeah. And thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to talk to you both.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

I appreciate the chance to talk to you, Mark. Thanks for catching us up. And when something happens, I hope, or if something happens, or when something happens, I hope. I don't mean necessarily bad, I just mean something. We can go to Mark and get his expertise on the subject.

[Dawson]

Learned a lot. Thank you, sir.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Thanks, Mark. All right. I'm going to be in Boca raton coming up January 30th at the Black Box Theater. And then I'm going to be doing stand up at off the Hook and that'll be in Naples, Florida, January 31st. And then February 1st you go to AdamCroll.com for all the live shows because I'm coming everywhere. And until next time, it's Adam Kroll from Mark Dubowitz and Mayhem. Miller saying Mahalo.

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