Remembering Phil (Carolla Classics)

Summary

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Adam Carolla Show: "Remembering Phil" (Carolla Classics)

Date: March 7, 2026
Host/Team: Adam Carolla, Superfan Giovanni (narrator), Gina Grad, Brian Bishop, Lynette (Adam’s wife), and various archival co-hosts
Episode Theme:
A special Carolla Classics episode, "Remembering Phil," celebrates Adam Carolla’s beloved Labrador, Phil, collecting anecdotes and memories from across many years. This retrospective is both a comedic showcase and a heartfelt tribute, highlighting Phil’s role in the Carolla family and on the podcast. The episode weaves together stories of chaos, joy, exasperation, and love, as Adam reflects on the unique saga of having a family dog.

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Main Theme & Purpose

At its heart, this episode is a tribute: a look back at the life of Phil, the Carollas' much-discussed black Lab, framing his misadventures, affection, and the chaos he brought into Adam’s life as a touchstone for reflection and laughs. Amidst the humor, the show consistently underscores the emotional connection Adam and his family developed with Phil, resonating with anyone who’s ever loved a dog.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Saga Begins: From “Never Puppies Again” to Phil’s Arrival

• Adam’s Dog History & Puppy Traumas (02:19–07:45)
  • Adam recalls his chaotic time with a German Shepherd puppy in his single days:
    “The puppy was much more work than my twins.” (03:48, Adam Carolla)
  • He vows, “Never again with the puppies. I want one year olds. And I’ve said it and I mean it.”
    (04:12, Adam Carolla)
  • Natalia, Adam’s daughter, persistently negotiates for a puppy, haggling like “an Israeli at a Turkish bazaar.” (06:58, Adam Carolla)
• Christmas Miracle: Phil Arrives (09:03–11:18)
  • Rob’s landlord demands Phil (Rob’s black Lab puppy) must go. Suddenly, Adam becomes the next best candidate.
  • Natalia’s anticipation is comically intense:
    “Where’s Phil? Where’s Phil? … Santa wouldn’t put a dog in a box. That’s too mean.” (09:57, Adam Carolla)
  • The big reveal: Phil marches in with a bow, bringing Natalia to tears and Adam to genuine emotion. “‘And it was the greatest thing you’ve ever seen in your life.’” (11:18, Adam Carolla)

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2. Phil’s Name: Why “Phil”?

• Phil’s Namesake (11:57–12:21)
  • Guesses fly: Phil Rosenthal? Philip the Juggler?
  • Truth: Natalia named him after Phil Dunphy from Modern Family because she loved the show.
    “Yeah, that’s who she named him after.” (12:21, Adam Carolla)

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3. Life with Phil: The Pothole Principle of Parenting and Pet Ownership

• Adam’s Philosophy on Foresight (13:44–15:38)
  • Adam likens his warnings about puppies to seeing potholes in life that others ignore until it’s too late.
    “I sit in the passenger seat of life... I’m the guy who goes, that’s a pretty big pothole coming up.”
    (13:49, Adam Carolla)
• The Reality of Holiday Puppies (19:18–22:07)
  • “Not only the dog at Christmas seems like the most awesome plan in the world. It’s the worst plan in the world.”
    (20:22, Adam Carolla)
  • Adam hilariously details the holiday chaos: chewed decorations, dog eating Christmas water, and perpetual vigilance.
• Puppy Training Struggles (17:00–24:26)
  • The infamous “first dump:” Before 10am, Phil poops magnificently on Natalia's new white shag carpet (“92% of it is under her bed…”), soon after arriving. (18:02–18:15)
  • Lynette cleans with the Bissell steam cleaner as Adam documents the mayhem for posterity.

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4. Dog Ownership Wisdom: Adam’s Take

• “Get a one year old dog that is already broken in and not neurotic.” (22:07, Adam Carolla)
• Was it worth it? “That's a once in a lifetime. It was. That happened in the first 13 seconds. And then the following two weeks…” (22:07, Adam Carolla)
• Practical advice: “Put a beach towel down so you don’t have to get the Bissell out for an hour and clean the sloppy shit out of the shaggy…” (25:34, Adam Carolla)

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5. Family Dynamics: Who Cleans the Mess?

• Adam observes the mom “gene” for cleaning up after the dog, often feeling alone in his goal to prevent future accidents. (24:26–27:23)
• Repeatedly, Adam tries to implement “puppy pad protocol.” The family is not so consistent, leading to more carpet disasters and frustration.

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6. Early Days with Phil: Chaos and Joy

• Christmas video: Natalia’s teary, overwhelming joy receiving Phil is one of Adam’s parental high points. (34:13–34:41)
• “She’s such a tough kid, and she just burst into tears, and the dog was just, like, jumping on her... and it was the greatest thing ever.” (12:21, Adam Carolla)
• “The dog’s the greatest dog in the world. It’s shitting all over the place, but we’ll take care of that. And Natalia loves it. It was worth it for that moment.” (35:17, Adam Carolla)

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7. Phil in Daily Life: Ongoing Antics

• Phil the Puppy: Chaos continues with puppy pads, bathrobes as chew toys, Phil jogging and peeing in the house, and the family outsmarted at every turn. (38:01–38:49)
• Water Dog: Phil loves water, dashing into the rain, and is later described loving (and fearing) Adam’s pool. (58:18 and 65:41)
• Phil and Sonny: Phil harasses Sonny’s stuffies, steals Gatorade, and turns every corner into potential cleanup.
  “No, Phil, no Philip, no Bad boy, no Philip, no…” (52:07, Adam Carolla)
• Neighborhood Escapades: Phil is the “mayor,” greeting neighbors and causing new rounds of search-and-rescue.
  “He’s the mayor.” (100:05, Adam Carolla)

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8. Phil the Garbage Disposal

• Phil’s unending appetite means no wasted food—he finishes all leftovers.
  “When I’m done with my plate, I call in Philly cheesesteak. I set the plate on the ground and Phil laps it all up.” (82:43, Adam Carolla)
• “It’s like somebody bred a goat with a pelican and then just sort of mashed it up with a garbage disposal...” (87:26, Adam Carolla)

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9. Health Scares: Seizures and Parental Panic

• Phil experiences dog seizures, causing frantic, sometimes comical, emergency responses:
  “It’s just weird to be in weird hunched over paramedic mode with your ball sack swinging against Phil’s head while he lays on his head. He’s foaming from the mouth and I’m teabagging him.” (83:43, Adam Carolla)
• Lynette insists that Phil’s diet—like chicken paprikash—might have caused the seizures, to Adam’s skepticism. (86:02, Adam Carolla)

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10. The Philosophy of Childhood: The Simple Joys

• Adam reflects that a happy childhood can be built with just “a dog and a basketball hoop.”
  “What separates your kids having a happy childhood versus a miserable childhood is like a Nerf football, a dog, and a basketball hoop.” (36:24, Adam Carolla)
• Disappointment in his own parents’ lack of initiative to provide such pleasures.

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11. Phil’s Legacy in the Podcast

• Phil is not just a dog but a genuine character—providing both content and a lens into Carolla family life for the podcast’s audience.
• Adam’s affection for Phil is clear, even when he’s exasperated, and the podcast community shares in both the laughter and the loss.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Puppy Ownership:
  “The puppy was much more work than my twins.” (03:48, Adam Carolla)
• On Seeing Natalia’s Joy:
  “I actually started crying standing in the living room with her... it was the greatest thing ever.” (12:21, Adam Carolla)
• On Predicting Troubles:
  “I sit in the passenger seat of life... that's a pretty big pothole coming up.” (13:49, Adam Carolla)
• On Phil’s First Major ‘Accident’:
  “The dog found a corner of novelty white shag and took a sloppy, huge shit on it.” (18:15, Adam Carolla)
• On Parenting/Ownership Wisdom:
  “Get a one year old dog that is already broken in and not neurotic.” (22:07, Adam Carolla)
• On Childhood Happiness:
  “What separates your kids having a happy childhood versus a miserable childhood is like a Nerf football, a dog, and a basketball hoop.” (36:24, Adam Carolla)
• On Phil’s Appetite:
  “It’s like somebody bred a goat with a pelican and then just sort of mashed it up with a garbage disposal...” (87:26, Adam Carolla)
• On Neighborhood Mayors:
  “He’s the mayor.” (100:05, Adam Carolla)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 02:19–07:45: Adam’s history with dogs, his resolve to avoid puppies, and Natalia’s relentless campaign for one.
• 09:03–11:18: The story of Phil’s arrival on Christmas morning; Natalia’s teary reaction.
• 11:57–12:21: Phil’s namesake explained.
• 13:44–15:38: Adam’s “pothole” approach to life, applied to pets.
• 17:00–24:26: Training chaos, the infamous first dump, and the struggle to puppy-proof the house.
• 34:13–34:41: Video captured of Natalia’s magical Christmas moment with Phil.
• 58:18 & 65:41: Phil’s love/hate relationship with water and the pool.
• 83:43–85:29: Phil’s seizures and Adam’s stressed-out response.

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Tone/Language

Adam’s signature style blends gruff honesty, self-deprecating humor, and bursts of genuine, sometimes unexpected tenderness. The stories range from riotously funny (chaotic clean-up, doggy disasters) to touchingly sentimental (the emotional reveal, reflections on childhood happiness).

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Takeaways for Listeners

• A Universally Relatable Pet Saga: Anyone who’s had a dog will recognize the blend of mess, mayhem, and moments of pure heart.
• Parenting Wisdom (and its Limits): Adam’s attempts to mitigate mess and forewarn his family sometimes succeed—but often, chaos (and Phil) wins the day.
• Legacy of Love: Phil was more than a dog—he was a fixture in the Carolla family, podcast lore, and in listeners’ hearts.

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Rest in Peace, Phil.
This episode is both a celebration and a memorial for a faithful companion who made the Carolla home—and this show—livelier, funnier, and a little more human.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Podcast Narrator/Host]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights and fan selected clips from all 17 years of the Adam Carolla show. We have a companion podcast titled Cruel Classics. Check out podcast one. There you'll find the ad free archives. And to access the ad free archives of the Adam Carolla show, The Adam and Dr. Drew show, as well as the podcast Beat it Out, make sure to check out Adam Carollo's substack adamcorla.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, please email us [e-mail] let's get to the clips. Coming first we have adam curlis show 1728 featuring cousin Sal, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop. This one's from 2016.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, where were we? Oh, yeah, I got Phil. Speaking of Phil, I got a dog.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, saw that. Yeah, you got the dog that was gonna be sent out right from the other shop.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a.

[Brian Bishop]

Is that what happened?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what happened was, is I had a puppy many years ago, a German shepherd puppy. That was when I was single. That drove me insane for about five weeks and then died.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, God, don't romanticize it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the dog drove me so insane that when he died I was not. I mean, I was sad, but it was almost like, okay, I can get on with my life at least. And then I got Molly girl And Molly girl was one when Molly girl showed up. And Molly is not only good for a one year old, she's good for a lab, but she's good for a person. She literally sweetest, nicest, easiest, and all of a sudden you have this dog that doesn't scratch, doesn't bark at the window, doesn't shit or piss in the house. Like just one. It's like completely self realized, self autonomous dog that does nothing but eat in the morning, eat in the evening, and go outside and take a shit. And by the way, idealized dog. If she got locked in the house for eight hours, she'd hold it until it was time to get outside. Or one time, like literally got locked in the house all day and went upstairs and like shit on the tile in. Like, this is gonna be the least intrusive place to shit. And I announced at that point, puppy, never again. Never again with the puppies. I want one year olds. And I've said it, and I mean it. People are like, oh, come on now. And I'm like, no, the puppy was much more work than my twins. And they're like more work than twins. I was like, yeah. Cause I hired a heavyset woman of color to be the night nurse of the twins while I went and did a radio.

[Brian Bishop]

You can strap a diaper to the

[Adam Carolla]

twins, put a diaper on them, and guess who ain't changing that diaper. They gotta pay somebody. But it wasn't me, the dog. Oh, no. Well, after the proclamation of no more puppies, and of course Natalia right in my face was, she wants a puppy. So, no, we get a dog when they're a year old and they're all coached up and we enjoy them.

[Gina Grad]

They're still little.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. New dog Molly was the greatest. Well, smash cut two. Well, let me tell you first. First I'll put myself in a better mood. Blue apron. Mmm. This stuff is good. Healthy, strong. It's better than it needs to be. That's the. I think that seems to be the common refrain with this. Better, better. Like you. You go, oh, they didn't have to have to make it this good. That stuff is great. And even the guy, I'm low falutin. This stuff sounds highfalutin, but it works.

[Lynette]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It all.

[Brian Bishop]

They tread the line between falutin and naan.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Shrimp scampi with the fresh linguine, three cheese. Three cheese calzones, seared cod, date vinaigrette. Everything is good. Everything's good. And what we do oftentimes is old guy will Just like triple down on the recipe because there's a bunch of people in my house. So this is, you know, two people can eat this. Well, we got five people. So she'll just double down on it, spread it around, and make the exact same recipe, pull the cards out, keep the ones you like. It's great. And you don't have to go out and you don't have to spend a bunch of money. It's about 10 bucks a person, and it's about 500 to 700 calories per portion. So it's all great. You make it in under 40 minutes. Go to Blue Apron. Blueapron.com Adam, you can get your first two meals for free. Blueapron.com AdamSAM, I'm telling you, try it. If part of your New Year's reso is to eat a little better, eat a little fresher, eat a little healthier, Blue apron, this is the way it's coming right to your house. All right, let's see. So my, what happens, I announce no more puppies. We get the one year olds, and then Rob, who works in the other shop, gets a black lab puppy, which I love. I mean, there's nothing better with the big paws and the big floppy ears and everything. And I say, okay, good for you. But I'm still gonna just wait until I get a one year old or I'm gonna find it. And then Natalia's pushing and she said

[Brian Bishop]

she senses you want something, so she goes the other way.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And she also never. She's. She'll grind you. She'll just grind you. She's like an Israeli at a Turkish bazaar. My friend, my friend. No. And I'm like saying to her, look, we'll get a one year old lab, my friend. No, no, no, no, no. It's not good. It's not good. That's my friend. Zygote. We get the zygote. We use an instrument. We pull it from the mother. Okay. All right. Nine months. Give me nine months. No, my friend. My friend. No good. No, no, no, no, no. White lab, newborn still. The umbilical cord still wrapped around neck. No, no, no.

[Brian Bishop]

It sounds dangerous.

[Adam Carolla]

My flood, my friend. I, I, I can go to one month.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm really set on getting like a, a semi grown puppy. I mean, I want an adult, but I'm saying juvenile would be, would be ideal, my friend.

[Adam Carolla]

10 months.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm really looking more over the year mark. I mean, 10 months is close, but we're, you know, 12 months plus maybe

[Adam Carolla]

a year and a half. No, no, no, my friend, my friend. Listen, listen. 71 weeks, my friend.

[Lynette]

Okay?

[Brian Bishop]

I'm doing the math real quick.

[Adam Carolla]

71.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

That's.

[Adam Carolla]

It's good. 71 weeks. Oh, no. Four weeks. No, two weeks.

[Brian Bishop]

We're going the wrong direction.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyway, that's all she does is haggle, haggle, haggle, grind, grind, grind, and then rat me out when I. When I yell, you know, when I yell at her with my dad voice, you know?

[Gina Grad]

Well, and by the way, speaking of that, at the Christmas party, she was singing like a canary. Oh, my God. She is quite the raconteur.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, she is.

[Gina Grad]

A lot of great stories coming from that child.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she loves it. She loves ratting me out. She terrible. Anyway, it's her thing. It's her thing.

[Gina Grad]

Very entertaining.

[Adam Carolla]

So there's this puppy, and now Rob's landlord wants the puppy out of his place.

[Lynette]

Oh, no.

[Adam Carolla]

And the deal is. So now I'm getting this. Now it's a perfect storm. Of course he's got the puppy. The landlord wants the dog out asap. Asap. And then there's a steady diet from Rob of She's really sorry. He's really good. He had one mistake in the house. One mistake, and that's it. But that's it. Just one? One. One crapped in the living room. But that's it. That's it. It's really good. I got him pretty well coached up and stuff. And I'm like, you do, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So now it's like three, four weeks out of Christmas, and I'm basically saying, all right, can you hold the dog? Can you ask your landlord or do something with the dog? It's a long story. Smash cut to Christmas morning, 9am Rob shows up with the dog. Natalia is opening, tearing every present open, going, where's Phil? Where is Phil?

[Brian Bishop]

Has he pre named the dog that know what?

[Adam Carolla]

She was getting pre named the dog Phil. We'll put some pictures of him [e-mail]. where's Phil? And I'm like, well, maybe he's in that box over there. And she's like, phil. And she starts tearing open the box. Where's Phil? Where's Phil? And then she's like saying stuff like, you know, Santa wouldn't put a dog in a box. That's too mean. You know? Well, maybe send that bag over there, that gift bag over there. Open everything. Where's Phil? Where's Phil? Well, anyway, Rob shows up. I do the thing that. Well, actually just waking up and getting. I was gonna say I do the thing my parents would have never done for me. But actually, just getting out of bed every day, going to work would have been something they would have never done for their family. But there. So I meet Rob outside. It's like a drug deal going down, but with a dog. You know, like, here's the crane. Here's the dog. Here's the bowl. Here's the kibble. Here's the whatever. And then, of course, Lynette's like, get the bow. Get the bow. And Natalia's like, we're looking around. Well, what kind of Christmas is this? Where is Phil? Where is Phil? And there's this hallway that just opens up into the living room. She's just sitting in the living room. And I did something that would never work if I tried a. Oh, no. My coffee. Bronnie here. New brawny. 3 ply is now more absorbent. Wow.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

Got a clean shirt.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you wear plaid? Summon the strongest a thousand more times. I put the big bow on top of Phil, throw the straps sort of over his shoulders. It's bigger than he is. He goes walking down, wandering down the hall. I get him to just wander. Goes into the thing. Natalia just comes running up. And Natalia bursts into tears. And it's the greatest thing you've ever seen in your life. And Phil's just licking. Licking the tears off. Gary, do you have. Did Lynette send you that one? The bow. The bow and the tears and the whatever. I don't think so. Send her a tweet or a text or something and see if you can find it. But anyway, hey, it's maybe worth mentioning

[Brian Bishop]

why they named it Phil. I had two guesses and was wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Gina Grad]

I would guess. I figured it was Rosenthal.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what I thought first. And then I saw someone tweet Philip

[Adam Carolla]

the Juggler, which kind of warmed my heart. Would have been nice. My old friend who died. Yes. No. Phil Dunphy from Modern Family. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Wait, Natalia picked that name?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You really did get her hooked on that show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I did. Yeah. She loves it. And that's who she named him after. Great. But it's so she. I actually started crying standing in the living room with her. Just. She's such a tough kid, and she just burst into tears, and the dog was just, like, jumping on her and licking her face and was, like, licking away her tears, and it was a greatest thing ever.

[Brian Bishop]

She got tired of him an hour later.

[Adam Carolla]

No, somewhere between 48 and 51 minutes later. And by the way, here's this thing I Have a Could this have gone any other way? Approach to life. Like, I'm the guy. Here's all I am. Here's my job, my position, my posture. This is what I do in life. I sit in the passenger seat of life as we go down the road of life. And everyone else seems to be having a good time listening to the radio, talking, enjoying themselves. And I'm the guy who goes, that's a pretty big pothole coming up. It's way off in the distance, but it's coming up. And everyone goes, huh, they're shushing you. And I go, there's a pothole. It's way up there. But hey, Mr. Negativity. And they're like, shut up and turn up the radio. Don't stop believing. And I'm like, I don't like this song. It's not even a good song. We all love this song, so shut up.

[Brian Bishop]

Ladies and gentlemen, get on board.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, speaking of pothole, why don't you shut your pie hole? Why are you bumming it? Why are you harsh in our mouth? And I go, look, the thing is, if we hit this pothole, it's going to bend the rim, it might pop the tire. We're going to be off by the side of the road and I don't even know if we have a spare in this car of life. And they go, relax, have a cigarette. Turn it up.

[Brian Bishop]

Just a small town girl.

[Adam Carolla]

My favorite part. Yeah. And then at a certain other point, at about a halfway point to the pothole, I go, now look, I'm not saying turn around and go home. I'm just saying let's just veer off to the left a little bit. Let's just anything but hit the pothole. And they go, we got it. Turn up the journey. That song has made some kind of crazy comeback. Like, fuck it. It'd be like if AIDS made a full blown comeback. I mean, it's not just that. Well, it's not as. It wouldn't be. It's actually worse. But what I'm saying is like a new strain that we couldn't fight with AZT or whatever, it. It's back in a big way. I think I blame the Sopranos. I don't know why.

[Gina Grad]

You definitely blame the Sonos.

[Adam Carolla]

Daughter was singing at karaoke the other night. Like it's all over the radio. It songs 31 years old. It was gone. It was dormant.

[Gina Grad]

Like your 9 year old knows it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's full saturation.

[Adam Carolla]

It was Don't Stop Believing was completely dormant in 1999-2008. Now it's. Oh, it's back.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Like Legos for a while. They're flat lining.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

And smoke shops. And now they're all back.

[Adam Carolla]

So. And I'm just going to watch the pothole. Watch the pothole. And then now we're coming up on it and I go take, coming up on this pothole. We got, we know we got 35 series tires on. They're like rubber bands, they're going to dent the rim, they're going to pop. We'll never make it to Phoenix just here. Just fear a little pothole, pothole, pothole.

[Brian Bishop]

You're drowning at the sun.

[Adam Carolla]

Then it's smash cut to us by the side of the road and someone going, do we have a jack? I don't know, do you have a jacking? And then I, and then I say the pothole. I was warning everyone about it. Everyone goes huh? And then everyone looks at me and goes, will you shut up and stop complaining and help us fix this car. And that's, that's essentially my life. So I make, I make the proclamation, no more puppies. I don't want to clean up any shit. And then I could double back. And I say to myself and to anyone who listen, this new house we moved in, I think when we bought it, obviously they were looking to sell it, but they were looking to spruce it up in a hurry. And they put this big shitty snap together floating IKEA floor in the house. And what it is, is it's a fair to Midland, lower to Midland, cheap veneered wood floor kind of thing. You know, it looked good in pictures, but when you walked on it, especially as a guy who's used to the real oak tng with the sand and the stain and stuff, it's a floating floor. So they snap it together, they put it in place, they cut around and it's like, it's a way to make your house look good for under five grand and do the whole house.

[Gina Grad]

And it's not actually wood.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, it's like most stuff is just engineered now. It's got maybe, maybe it has a thin veneer of wood at the top. The rest is a bunch of plywood and chemic and shit like that. And I announced sort of laughingly, like, the whole house, they did the whole house in this shit. The whole fucking house is done in this shitty cheap IKEA wooden floor. And I'm laughing because I'm like, shit away dog. Cause it's literally like just like shitting on a plastic Wood floor that I don't even like. So I'm like, shit away. And by the way, the dog seems to be trained. Anyway, at least according to robin, somewhere between 48 and 51 minutes after the dog came into the house, the dog took a massive. Oh, look at that. Dog sleeping. The dog took a massive, massive, sloppy dump. Where? Where?

[Brian Bishop]

On your pillow?

[Adam Carolla]

On Natalia's white novelty shag carpet that basically 92% of it is under her bed. And There's a small 8% corner that hangs out.

[Brian Bishop]

Creeps out.

[Adam Carolla]

That creeps out from a small bedroom. And the dog literally went and shat up the corner. Gary. I took a picture of it. The thing that's comical about it's in my phone Max pad. I'll get it. The thing that's comical about it is like, Lynette's like, oh, please don't take a. You know. And I was like, I have to. I have to, because this is. This is. The dog showed up at 9. It's before 10am the dog found a corner of novelty white shag and took a sloppy, huge shit on it. Lynette was down there with the fucking bissell, like, you know, trying to get peanut butter out of Santa's beard kind of thing with it.

[Brian Bishop]

Can you bleach it?

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I.

[Brian Bishop]

What do you do at that point?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, burn the house down and leave. What happened at that point? Line five goes along with line five. Remind. Remind me, because then I'll get back to my potholes scenario again. Jeanine, we're on line five.

[Brian Bishop]

That's Frank.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, sorry I screwed that up. Oh, line five. Line five is the dog question. Sorry I screwed that up. Yeah, dog crit. Frank. 47, Beverly Hill. Oh, Beverly Hills, Florida. What's going on? Hey, what's going on, man? Hey, Adam, nice to talk to you. Good man. Happy New Year, y'. All. Yeah, No, I. I announced last night that this dog ruined my holiday. I spent the entire holiday cleaning up shit. That's all I did.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, sorry. We're looking at the carpet. Get any whiter or any shaggy or. And that shitty wood floor is the entire house except for that one spot. All right, anyway. Comical. We're moving on. Sorry.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Just so happens my wife and I have been arguing for the last. Gary, take the shit picture down. I'm gonna throw up in my coffee. Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

For the last couple days.

[Adam Carolla]

All of a sudden, she wants a dog and she's sending me pictures of the dogs and she's showing me. Isn't this cute? Isn't this great. And I, like, I just don't really

[Brian Bishop]

want the responsibility of a dog. And I had saw on Facebook a

[Adam Carolla]

couple days ago that you had gotten a dog. So I'm like, I'm gonna call Adam and see what he. Well, I'll tell you what. Not only the dog at Christmas seems like the most awesome plan in the world. It's the worst plan in the world. First. All right, five fold. Fold, number one. There are boxes, tinsel, and ornaments and paper everywhere. It's a non stop cat. What's the dog got in its mouth? What's it got in its mouth? It's got the box. It's got the thing. It's walking around with the thing in its mouth. It's trotting around. You're pulling.

[Brian Bishop]

Because the ornaments that hang low off the tree

[Adam Carolla]

drank the Christmas water, of course, and then shit all over the place.

[Gina Grad]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

And this was sloppy. So the point is, like, you're drinking out of the Christmas water tub. You have cardboard chewed up everywhere. There's stuff all over the floor because it's Christmas. Also, for me, it's the only time of the year I'm actually at home in my bathrobe and trying to enjoy myself, and I'm chasing this dog around, and I have hypervigilance. So it's like everyone else is taken to the room and their iPads, and I'm like, the dog got fed, right? Yeah. That was an hour ago, Right? Why is the dog inside? Dog needs to be outside. Huh? Is the dog inside? Like my hyper vigilance? Like, get the dog outside. Dog's got me outside. All right. Sorry, Frank.

[Gina Grad]

That helped.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, geez.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I think my wife's gonna be disappointed. Well, look, if. Look, the deal is get a one year old dog that is already broken in and not neurotic. And get a mellow one year old dog.

[Brian Bishop]

Frank. Let's ask Adam. Was it worth it? All for that moment when Natalia saw the dog and the dog elect her tears.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a once in a lifetime. It was. That happened in the first 13 seconds. And then the following two weeks. I mean, we. Lynette and I, we. Once we went. We had. We had a. We had one good date night. We had a. Let's go out to dinner. Let's go see Hateful Eight. Let's blah, blah, blah. And what are we gonna do with the dog? The kids are staying with Ivy, that's cousin Sal's sister, and they're having a fun time over there. And Zoe Bell, by the way, from Hateful Eight, which I really enjoyed, is gonna be on tomorrow. She's one of the stars of it.

[Brian Bishop]

Is she on tomorrow?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So we can enjoy that. Came home. We decided a lot of what ends up. What ends up happening is this. The dog takes the huge dump on the side of the carpet, and then I am the guy who goes, let's never let this happen again. Right?

[Brian Bishop]

Never again.

[Adam Carolla]

And poor Lynette's with the fucking handheld bissell down on her hands and knees for an in that room, and it smelled like fucking fried hell. And I'm like, let's not let this happen again. But then the next day goes around, and it's like, all right, the dog's gonna sleep with Natalia. And I'm like, why don't we put, like, a beach towel down or something on that corner? Let's block that corner. And then Lynette's like, well, I got some puppy pads, and there's a lot of this. I feel like there's a lot of this in my life, which is, well, okay, we got to put the puppy pads down. Well, the dog chews the puppy pads. Yeah, but it'll be up on the bed, and then when he gets off the bed instead of shitting on the carpet. Yeah, but the puppy pads get moved around. Yeah. No, but I'm always like, okay, we don't want the dog to shit on the carpet anymore. Can we agree? Can we agree on that? I'm glad everyone has taken a stand, but can we try to not have this happen again? And they said, fine, we'll put the puppy pads down that night before the dog goes in. And then we all went out to dinner, and somehow they decided that my bathroom would be a good place to store the dog. And the dog pulled my bathrobe down off the rack and, like, wiped its ass with it, shoved it in the corner, took a shit in there. And then later on the next day.

[Brian Bishop]

He loves you.

[Adam Carolla]

The next day, I woke up, and there's a nice, fresh shit on the carpet where the dog had shit in the shag. And I said to Lynette and my daughter, I said, what happened to the puppy pads? And they're like, yeah, we don't know. Sometimes the dog eats them and shuts them out. The dog just ate the puppy pad. There's no chewed puppy pad. I don't know. And I'm like, well, Lynette, get the Bissell out. And she's like, yep. And I'm like, something I'd like to avoid in the new year. Which is I don't want to even watch you cleaning up the shit. You should not want to ever do this again. It should be a shared goal. I swear to God. I think it's part of the mom gene where it's like, ah, dang, shit again. Gotta clean it up again. And I'm the guy who does nothing. But I want everyone's face on a coffee mug. Cause I don't want any more weird coffee spittle dried up in the bottle ever again. Like, I do this. I have this thing where it's like anybody who, as an adult, searches around for their car keys or their sunglasses is a fucking fool. That's just wasting their time. You're just wasting your time. Just put something in place. Never again. That's the way it's work. Don't. It's. It's the weird. The weird thing is, is it's the greatest, verbally, probably the greatest thing you could do for somebody. Which is what I'm saying is, if I say to my wife, wow, you look great, God bless you, I love you, she probably gets suspicious. I probably shouldn't say, all right, that's too far. If I said, sweetie, you're doing a great job raising these kids. You're the best, she'd love it. She'd say, thank you. If I said, put a beach towel down so you don't have to get the Bissell out for an hour and clean the sloppy shit out of the shaggy, she take that as sort of an attack. But actually, in terms of practicality, in terms of words, it's much better. Cuz I'm trying to avoid her having to do all this horrible work again. So anyway, the no beach town, no puppy pads, and the dog is shit. And then this again, the weird conversation of where is the pad?

[Gina Grad]

I don't know, is it still at large?

[Adam Carolla]

No, we figured it out later that when they put the dog in my bathroom, they put the puppy pads there and then they left the puppy pads there, and then the dog shit up the thing. And then I do this one. All right, we're heading toward the pothole of life. And I do the one where it's the third night. I make the announcement in the afternoon. Let's get those pads down so that dog doesn't shit up the corner ever again. All right, old man, stop your crow. And we're trying to party over here. And I'm. I'm always like, this is even my car.

[Lynette]

It's not my car.

[Adam Carolla]

I just don't want you to ruin your Rims. Shut up, old man. Hey, where's the in and out? I saw a sign that said in and out. We gotta get off on Zizzix.

[Lynette]

Hey.

[Adam Carolla]

Cheating. The songs on repeat, right? Yes.

[Lynette]

Little bit. Stop.

[Adam Carolla]

I do this move where I go, puppy pad down. You don't have to clean up the shit out of the shag.

[Lynette]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Then of course, 11 o' clock that night. No way am I not getting out of that. No, no. No way am I not getting out of my office and going and checking. Going to check.

[Lynette]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, nothing. Carpet's just sitting there. Then I walk in. Lynette. Yeah? Puppy pass. Put them around. Oh, what? The pads for the dog shit. Oh, where are those? Great question. Lynette's always texting, so she's always like, a little annoyed, like, huh? What do you want the pad? Oh, I don't know. And I'm like, okay. Just trying to avoid the third pass with the Bissell on the hands and knees. And the fucking vomit bag. And the poop. And the poop. That's all. That's just me.

[Gina Grad]

Now, have you told us exactly how old the puppy is or was when you got him?

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

Ish.

[Adam Carolla]

Even we did. I think that that's a very good question. I think the dog was about 11 weeks. Coming up on 12 weeks or something like that, but way, way too young to know any better. And the fourth night or whatever, we did put some newspaper down or the puppy pads. And then the dog shit on the puppy pad. And then I said, wasn't that better? And then I got the Don't Stop believing. Yeah. So the dog shit on the pad so we don't have to. Yeah, whatever. On the pads. Relax, old man. Yeah, we heard you.

[Brian Bishop]

Puppy pads.

[Adam Carolla]

Puppy pads.

[Brian Bishop]

Hey, set up a floor.

[Adam Carolla]

Poor Lynette has been cleaning up this. So we went out to see Hateful Eight and we were like, we're going out to dinner where the kids are gone. We're gonna have a margarita. We're gonna see Hateful Eight. We're gonna have a great time. This is gonna be awesome. And we're like, what do we do with the dog? And normally I'd just say, put the dog outside. We got a fenced off yard and blah, blah, blah. It has been insanely cold. And where I live, it has actually been frost. SoCal. I'm up in the foothills. It's dropping down in the 30s at night, and it's insanely, insanely cold.

[Brian Bishop]

And I'll need you starting soon.

[Adam Carolla]

Lynette thinks a coyote's gonna get him or whatever. And now, by the way, she's cleaned up so much shit. She's like. Now she's like, put the dog outside. I'll put a vulture.

[Gina Grad]

Put a lamb chop around his neck.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, turkey. What do turkey vultures, they like lamb. Anyway, so. So we're out. We're having a great time. I mean, the kids are gone. We're out at like, Nobu. We're eating sushi. We did this thing that I've never done in my life, which is ordered the exact right amount of sushi. Oh, wow. I never pulled that off.

[Brian Bishop]

Was it by accident?

[Adam Carolla]

I said, lynette, you order. And she ordered. And I know, I do know this thing of like, oh, it starts to pile up real fast. And then also, you're going to see a 3 after this. You don't want to be smelling like rotting fish while you're sitting in the theater. But also, it's 50 bucks of sushi you're not going to leave behind, you know, Lynette ordered the perfect amount. The chef came by. The chef brought like, oh, it's a little something that our chef whipped up. It was incredible. I loved the movie. Everything was good.

[Gina Grad]

And did not feel like a three

[Adam Carolla]

hour movie, by the way. No. And when we got home and opened the door to the bathroom that the pup was set up in, I said, oh, my God. It's like the end of hateful 8. The dog hadn't seen it yet.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't ruin it for me.

[Gina Grad]

Well, it's Tarantino crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

Think about the end of the. Yeah, that's. The dog had managed to shit on itself and roll in it and roll all over the place and all over its bed and all over its everything. And there's this great moment where Lynette's like, come now. It's this weird thing. So it's like midnight. We roll through the door, Lynette's ride, mild margarita buzz. And it's gonna be. It's gonna be great at what a night. And it's like all of a sudden, come stat. Come to the door. And I'm like, the dog's trying to get out. The dog's covered in shit. Lynette. Lynette. So I'm doing this thing with. I'm doing the thing. Take the dog. You put the dog in the shower. You shut the shower door. Then the dog's in the shower. Now we can clean up with the dog and shower. The dog's covered in shit. Lynette's like, he's not going for the shower. He's not going for it. Get over here. Get over here. I go running over there. It's this great moment. Lynette's holding him by the top of the collar, and she goes, careful, the collar's got shit on it. And I'm like, okay. And she's holding the top of the collar.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't shake.

[Adam Carolla]

And I go, okay, okay. And I reach. For some reason, I decide, okay. She's holding the top. She's saying it has shit on it. I reach under the collar to the bottom where his neck is, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna grab the clean part, mash my hand into a huge ball of shit. I mean, it's like, all over my hand. I'm trying to carry the dog out. I'm just dragging shit everywhere. The dog's as I got my hand, like, holding my hand up like it's on fire. And I'm running around the house with it. She's screaming at me. There's shit smeared all over.

[Brian Bishop]

You're like Jehovah Pierre Paul on Fourth of July.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Trying to hold back the puke. I'm like, lash my hand now. It's like, we gotta get the dog back in the house. And that's like. I'm showering with the dog.

[Brian Bishop]

Hose everyone down.

[Gina Grad]

Romantic evening.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like Pulp Fiction just hose them down in the yard.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. There's the shit that goes from the backyard to the. To the thing and the thing. And the poor Lynette's in there scrubbing away. And I'm, ah, all right.

[Gina Grad]

Does Sonny give a shit about the dog?

[Adam Carolla]

Give a shit? No. Sonny. Sonny. Sonny's neither here nor there on Phil. I mean, he likes him. Okay. You want to watch this video? We'll post [e-mail], it's just.

[Lynette]

Just.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just. It's just the puppy walking into the living room and Natalia,

[Lynette]

If I got

[Adam Carolla]

CP3, Georgie, I could have bought two Clippers game. But it's okay.

[Gina Grad]

But you're fine.

[Adam Carolla]

Dog just wandered in. Big bow. Who's that? And Lynette holding the camera landscape. Yeah, look at us. What were you saying about cpy? Sonny's just staring at the dog.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, man.

[Adam Carolla]

It made me start crying. It really did. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, the dog's pawing at her. She's down on her knees.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sorry. Why are you crying? Tears of joy. That's pretty sweet. We'll post a video on Facebook. You can go there.

[Lynette]

We'll see it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, the dog's exploring the room, sniffing everything.

[Adam Carolla]

Look at that tail going. I'm Bill.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, he's licking her face.

[Gina Grad]

All right, now, were you there to see the beginning of that, or were you fixing yourself a cup of Joe?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I had to stage the dog.

[Gina Grad]

Right. You were ranking.

[Adam Carolla]

Set. The dog.

[Brian Bishop]

Got it.

[Adam Carolla]

I had to set the dog in the hall and sort of push it forward. And like, they never do what you want them to do, but the bow stayed on and the dog walked forward.

[Brian Bishop]

That was actually pretty perfect.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I circled around through the kitchen to then come out the other direction to see what the hell was going on. But, yeah, because it's high.

[Brian Bishop]

Sit on the ground, opening a present or something, sort of looking at Lynette, sort of looking off to the side, and the dog kind of wanders into frame like log ribbons trailing it. It's pretty great.

[Adam Carolla]

It's so. By the way, I. I've said this a million times, and the dog's been. The dog's the greatest dog in the world. It's shitting all over the place. But we'll take care of that. And Natalia loves it. It was worth it for that moment. But the point is this. To all these shitty parents out there. I realize the difference. Like, Brian, we were talking last year, you were saying, I don't know if we were rich or we were poor. I had to ask my parents. I did. Yeah, you did. Because when you're eight or nine, all you want to do. All my son wants to do is play catch with a Nerf ball. That's all he wants to do. So is he rich? Is he poor? I don't know. He's got $5 worth of Nerf ball and somebody to throw it back to him. That's about it. That's what he needs. My daughter wants a puppy. My son wants a basketball hoop. And he'll sit out there with that basketball hoop, and it'll be three hours of him just sitting out there shooting around. And she wants a puppy. And, you know, later on, you can. You know, if you want to get a little highfalutin, you can get into a swimming pool. But what separates your kids having a happy childhood versus a miserable childhood is like a Nerf football, a dog, and a basketball hoop.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

Catch a.

[Adam Carolla]

Dad, I don't. I don't. I don't get it. It's like. It's insane. Like, my dad's such a fucking idiot. He should have put a hoop up for his sake. Yeah, he didn't want to do anything that burned a calorie. But on the other hand, he's got me moping around the house all day. If he, my mom or my dad. No dogs, certainly no swimming pools, but no basketball hoops and no Nerf balls either. If they put a fucking $19, go down to big five and just fucking bolt the thing to a tree. I mean, the thing about kids is it doesn't have to be regulation anything or Plexiglas anything. Just literally just fucking nail something up to the side of a garage and the kid will sit out there all fucking day.

[Brian Bishop]

That's how you should have sold it to your mom or your dad back in the day as a little kid. Like, here, 40 doll. I said, I'll leave you alone forever.

[Gina Grad]

Do you know what they would have said? Do you know how many shrimp deveners that is? It's like 18 shrimp deveners.

[Adam Carolla]

That was their form of currency as

[Brian Bishop]

they come back in.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The idea of just having a dog when you're a kid that you can. That can be your friend, that you can take care of. Having basketball hoop, having a. Just the little things. Because kids don't know from. They don't know from the fancy cars. They certainly don't. They're certainly more than happy to eat a Taco Bell every day. Like, it's not. If you think about it, you don't really need money. The kids don't physically need money. They need somebody to throw the Nerf ball back to them and. Or somebody with just some initiative to fucking hang a basketball hoop up, and then they'll go out and stay busy the whole time.

[Gina Grad]

Now, are the kids going to have

[Brian Bishop]

responsibilities with the dog trying watch mommy and daddy rolling.

[Adam Carolla]

Shit. Yeah. No. Natalia feeds the dog, which is good, but still. This morning, I was the one going, why is the dog inside? The dog ate. And the kids are all spread out. I'm like, put the dog, let the dog eat, then put outside. And the dog. The dog doesn't move where it pisses while it jogs in the house.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, that's efficient. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

A little dribble. Yeah. Molly was a girl, so Molly would just sit down and not in the house, but outside the house. Just stop in one place, sort of squat it. Phil's a boy, and Phil jogs and pisses. So you find this long serpentine thing.

[Brian Bishop]

You're gonna work it out for you too. El Nino. Starting in the next couple, we ran a lot. You know, put the dog outside and everything. That's gonna Be a challenge.

[Gina Grad]

Snoopy Doghouse.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we got the news. I should tell everyone. State of the Union. Lynette, remind me. We gotta catch everyone up. I wasn't thinking about it. Cause there's not that much to say. There'll be plenty of live shows this year, as there always are.

[Brian Bishop]

Agenda item one. Keep kicking ass.

[Adam Carolla]

Keep kicking ass. Keep building, Keep growing. Thanks to you guys, I'll be in Westbury, New York, and Peekskill, New York, and Newton, New Jersey. That's coming up January 15th, 16th and 17th. That's stand up. But we'll do live shows. Irvine, Vancouver, Seattle, Port.

[Gina Grad]

I got my passport.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's fun. Maybe looking to go to Europe this year with the show as well.

[Gina Grad]

The Royal we or Wee Wee?

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

We.

[Adam Carolla]

We. We. We. All of us. That'll be good. Also working about halfway into the next documentary, so you can look forward to that. It's really coming out good. So I'm really excited about that. That'll be called the 24 Hour War. That is based somewhat on the book. Go like hell. A.J. bain. Bame. I think it's Bame with a name. A good guy. Anyway. Wrote Arsenal of Democracy. Really interesting guy. Anyway, it's the Ford versus Ferrari and battle at Le Mans. And it's kind of interesting because it's funny how the zeitgeist works. Like, you go, I want to make a documentary about this story. It was about a year, maybe a year and a half ago. Then all of a sudden I get these, you know, dateline, Hollywood, they're making a Ferrari biopic. And then I get one. Nick Santoris sends me one the other day, they're making a Lamborghini biopic. It's like, wow, this stuff has been kind of like, I've spent the last few years going, these guys are super interesting dudes. These are super interesting stories. And everyone's like, eh. Then you start going down the path, and all of a sudden it's like volcano movies.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what it's like? Dead for years and then resurrection.

[Gina Grad]

But I can imagine those two things help each other. You want to know more? So you check out the other. You check out the other.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And again, all very interesting stories. And it's all the execution, as I've always said. Mike August gave me one of these. Don't you hate when people do this? It's like during the break. And I said, I love Tarantino movies. I'm into Tarantino movies. Like, I want to see. I loved Inglourious Basterds. I loved DJANGO and all so satisfying. Yeah. Jackie Brown, not as much, but I liked it.

[Brian Bishop]

If you consider Jackie Brown the worst of his movies, you're doing pretty well.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a pretty good movie. His movies make you think. Afterward they leave you the feeling of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then Mike did one of these things where he goes, I don't need three hours a bunch of people locked up in a cabin. And you realize you'll come back, you can take any movie and just distill it down to nothing and then go, and now I don't want to see it. And it's all in the execution.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

So, you know, Ferrari's interesting. Lamborghini again made tractors. Guy made tractors and Ferrari threw them out of his office. And they said, I'm gonna make sports cars, but that's an interesting story. But again, they can screw it up. You can take an interesting story and fuck it up or you can take a non story and turn it into gold.

[Brian Bishop]

I wish you had Mike August come up with reasons not to see classic movies.

[Gina Grad]

I don't need another princess locked in a tower.

[Brian Bishop]

I was just thinking Glengarry Glen Ross.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't need to see two hours

[Brian Bishop]

of guys trying to sell real estate. No, they are, I guess, you know, it's.

[Adam Carolla]

I need to hear about some doctor in his Zhivago. Well, that's all you do with. That's all you do, right? Like that's all he had to do. And I was like, it's Tarantino, come on. And he's like, nah, not interested. And then I said, well, it's that or Star Wars. He's like, no way. Never seen a Star wars movie. He has with Star wars and I get it. He has with Star wars what I have with lottery tickets, which is. I must keep my streak alive. Never buying a lottery ticket in this godforsaken piece of shit state that tries to fucking legalize retarded gambling. All right, where was I?

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

Alright. That was the origin story of how the Corollas had Phil join their family. In light of the passing of Phil and the beautiful episode to start out the last week, I thought we'd compile a bunch of clips of Phil and Adam's life to help new listeners who don't have any memory of the dog. And for people who are longtime listeners who remember these episodes very well. Well, Adam talked about his first dog, Lotsi, from 1997. What he didn't mention was Billy, one of the guys Adam worked with on the Adam Carolla project. So one of his builders, I think he was instructed maybe drop off and pick up Lotsi at the vet to be spayed. And he was like freaking out and having a really severe reaction. And this was told on loveline back in 97, before we ever saw Billy in 2005 on the Adam Corolla project. So it's a really cool bit of history, like, oh, that guy apparently love dogs. And he was really sad for Adam about Lotsi. They never really determined what happened. Adam at one point theorized maybe she got into some paint or chemicals. Maybe it was a breeder thing. It was really sad story. And then Adam had Molly for so many years. So many Molly stories, so much time with Molly, the morning show, the twins being born. Unfortunately, we didn't have Coral classics back when Molly passed, otherwise we would have probably created an episode in remembrance of her as well. Coming up next, we have adam Kroll show. 1731, Heather McDonald, Matt Atchte, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop. And like the rest of these clips, the guests may or may not be in some of these portions. They're very small chunks just featuring stories about Phil.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you and Ball. Brian, you're ugly.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, you missed that. Gina, that was Brandon Marshall yesterday. Not talking about you, obviously.

[Gina Grad]

Well, even if he was.

[Adam Carolla]

Rotten Tomatoes here. Very glad to be here. Spreading like wildfire. Seen it everywhere now. Rotten Tomatoes, love just going on there. Satisfying my curiosity. Saw Hateful Eight or the Hateful Eight, and I enjoyed it quite a bit, but I don't think Brian liked it quite as much. But I said, compared to Tarantino movies, but just not compared to movies. Right. He sort of said, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

In terms of the overall quality of every movie that's released in the course of a year, it's in the top half. It's worth seeing. It's not boring and it's not. Not totally boring and not without merit.

[Adam Carolla]

I enjoyed it, I think, a bit more, but it is, I think, on Rotten Tomatoes shaken out to be a little more like what we said, more in the 70s and less in the 90s and less the Inglourious Basterds and Django and a little more Jackie Brown or something like that. I was bummed that I had missed the first seven. So I kind of came into this one cold.

[Brian Bishop]

The sequels, part 8.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I liked it. I thought it was. It's too long, like. Yeah, it is. You know, my biggest complaint is I don't feel like it in the moment. As you're watching It. It's never boring, but you come out of it. And I couldn't help but think, like, did this movie really need to be that long? I felt like it didn't earn the right to be that long. I also feel like I don't want

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

to give anything away, but way the

[Adam Carolla]

movie is pitched as being and what it ends up being are kind of different things. And I think that that's one of

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

the great tricks that Tarantino does.

[Adam Carolla]

And for those people that haven't seen

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

it, I'm not going to say anything.

[Adam Carolla]

But look, the dialogue's great. Great acting. Walton Goggins, amazing in that. I agree. I liked it quite a bit. And my whole thing is, unless Quentin Tarantino comes out with any other movies in that calendar year, it'll usually be in my top five. Just because it's him, it's his dialogue, and it's his insanity. And again, you get into that thing that you get with Scorsese, you start comparing Casino to Goodfellas, and now we're in trouble. Compare Casino to Casino or the other movie that is in the Cineplex, and we're doing pretty good. So I definitely. And I also recommend. I don't know why people do this, and it drives me nuts. I know we talk about a lot. Gina, you're leaning in. You got something to say?

[Gina Grad]

Well, I was just gonna say that while I was watching it, I had Phil Rosenthal's voice going through my head because about halfway through, I thought, this is a play.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a play.

[Gina Grad]

And I can absolutely see this as a stage play and might enjoy it more in some ways.

[Adam Carolla]

It's always interesting, though, and all the rules get broken. But he doesn't get his due for being the craftsman that he is when it comes to filming. That stuff looks amazing. But either way, there's no way you can make it through this movie at home. No way. There's just no way. You can't. You have to get up, you have to walk around, you have to use the bathroom. The phone will ring. There's nothing. There's no three hours. That is. And you will. I guarantee it. I would say the over under on hitting the pause is like 2.7 times for your average American in this thing just to get up and head to the kitchen. I can't sit in my office for an hour getting a blowjob without having to walk me and my mistress to the kitchen.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a low end blowjob.

[Adam Carolla]

I use a mechanic's creeper, so she's uninterrupted but you don't realize, like if you just put a nanny cam on your office sofa while you're watching TV and sped it up, you would get up. You don't realize how often you get up to walk over and blah, blah,

[Gina Grad]

or just look at your phone.

[Adam Carolla]

It just never. It never ends. Or there's some noise that you have to pause it because it's everybody else in the house. Shut the hell up. I'm trying to watch this goddamn movie. Yes, I had that this morning. I literally can see what it's like in my house. I was asleep and apparently my wife and daughter were having a panty raid or a pillow fight, I don't know. Just like, just outside of the door. And I did this one, which is actually quite a bit more effective than that move where you're laying in bed and you just do the.

[Lynette]

Would you please shut up?

[Adam Carolla]

That doesn't. It works like, it works, but you don't score anything negative points. It's just kind of you screaming from the bed, but that's your impulse. I just got up and walked outside the room and I said, I'm sleeping. Could you please be more considerate? And I just turned and walked back in.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that's right.

[Adam Carolla]

That's where you want to be. I was going to say that's where you want to be.

[Brian Bishop]

The pod people got to Adam.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

That's a good guilt trip you laid down.

[Adam Carolla]

It's much better than the scream from the bed because that's just a tie. Meaning we're having a pillow fight out here and you're screaming like a crazed person in there. That's a tie. But please be more considerate. That's a good one. Worked nicely. Very well, thank you. Still had to get up to do it. Sure, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

How long did that keep the noise down for?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the window was. I went to bed late ish. And it was about 7:30 ish. And I was looking forward to a little more of an 8:30ish wake up. And the kids have to head out about 8ish for school. And this is more in the 743 department. So I knew all I had to do is buy myself a good 18 minutes and I could sleep ish until they went off to school.

[Brian Bishop]

You don't have time for that ish.

[Adam Carolla]

Sonny not in school. Sonny has a little tummy problem. And it's great. You know, we got Phil the puppy, Phil the Labrador puppy and all. And Phil listens to no one. I don't think Phil even follows his heart. He Just does what he does. And when you have a puppy, there's a lot of this. Like I got the big. I tell you guys all the time, I'm gonna keep adding to this list. Get a good bed, get a good flat panel tv. Get a good car. I don't mean a Rolls Royce, I just mean a safe car with air conditioning that works very nicely. That will actually be safe if you get in an accident. But you can drive it to ve and back. It's not going to overheat. It'll be comfortable. Do that. Get a good bathrobe and get a good pair of slippers.

[Brian Bishop]

I got put on a brand new pair today.

[Adam Carolla]

I got the high top, like midway fuzzy, fuzzy line, you know, sweet, sweet ones. But when you get the dog, you run into situations like who took the inner piece for the slipper out of the slipper? And who would take one of my slippers, pull the instep piece out of the slipper. So I'm now riding on the rubber on one side and riding on the fleece on the other side. And then, okay, the dog. This is what the dog did. And then I have no fucking idea in this house where this little strip that's shaped like my foot is. It could be under. And I put the two slippers on and I just walked in a circle. Like I literally, it was, I moved. Like if you ever put like a lone ranger mask on your dog or antlers on your cat or something, like, you know how they move? Like they walk sideways for a while and then they start rubbing against something.

[Brian Bishop]

Or you put boots on the dog and it's like all paws in the air.

[Adam Carolla]

I put this slipper. I had one had just like the, the rubber sole and the other had like the wool liner in it. And I, I couldn't move and I had to go find one. But anyway, I sit in my office on one side of the house and from the other side of the house I just hear Sonny yelling, no Phil, no Philip, no Bad boy, no Philip, no. And the dog doesn't. Sonny gets just run over by Phil. Because Phil weighs as much as Sonny. Sonny has little to no authority in his voice. And poor Sonny. Sonny in this new house we're in, his mattress is on the floor with his menagerie of stuffies on it. Which is all easy fucking picking. That is low hanging fruit for Phil. And Phil comes trotting in there with his big old paws and he's like, who do I want to eat first? Malibu Marty or Ally Al? And Sonny's throwing his body in front like, no, Phil, no. And all that yelling and screaming, and the dog's like, wow, this just got a lot more fun. It's a lot more interesting now the kid's playing with me. I hear, no, Phil, no. Screamed about 10 times. Sonny, who's a little bout of vomiting and diarrhea, has one of those perfect kid, you know, stomach flus on his back. I say to him the other day, the night before, I go, listen, Dr. Drew says when you get dehydrated and you're on the pot all day or throwing up or anything, you need some Gatorade or Pedialyte or whatever. So I pour him some Gatorade. Of course, all we have red colored Gatorade. When did we need 72,000 flavors of Gatorade? But anyway, got the red Gatorade. I pour it in a plastic cup, and the next morning, I just see Phil trotting down the hall with the Gatorade. He's got the cup. I don't even know how he does it, but the cup is in his mouth. It's not spilled over. It's not turned over. He's holding it upright and it's in his mouth, and he's just trotting down the hall with it like, hey, kid.

[Gina Grad]

Like a frat boy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Go ahead and protect Malibu Marty. I'll be taking the Gatorade. I'll be rehydrating.

[Brian Bishop]

He got the mail prize.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And he's just trotting down the hall with it, and it's splashing this red stuff, leaving this trail of red shit. Then at a certain point, of course, it falls out and then goes up the wall with the red thing. So we're going full shining elevator scene here. It's all over the wall. And I'm doing this move where Sonny's the worst at cleaning shit up. Like he doesn't know. He starts padding stuff with a hat and stuff like that. Like, he doesn't or anything. I do my move, which is my quick fix move for everything, which is I show up the little water bottle and just sort of sprinkle it around like the Pope or something. Just. I'm gonna knock it down. Yeah. And then bless this mess. Yeah. Lynette comes walking in through the garage door, like, four minutes later to see this weird, red, soupy pile of stuff going, like, what the fuck? Like, she's not doing the math. The dog's having a period. Are they peeing? Like, what's his blood like, what's what's going on? It's going up the wall. But that's. That's Phil. Okay, so Phil's. Phil's doing. Phil's doing nicely doing the Lord's work. I like the idea that he just torments the shit out of Sonny.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's gonna be a fun relationship to watch over the next few years.

[Gina Grad]

Well, and speaking of which, in the last 48 hours, who's shit on the carpet more?

[Adam Carolla]

Sonny makes it to the sink. Sonny makes it to the toilet. Sonny has the bag in the bucket, like, next to the bed. He's just the most considerate little guy in the world.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

All right, this is Adam Krillishow, 1731. Coming up next, we have Adam Kriller Show 1747. Matt Besser, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop. More stories of Phil.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

Good day to you.

[Adam Carolla]

And bald Bryan Churro is nothing but a donut. That's here illegally.

[Gina Grad]

I've been saying that for three days.

[Brian Bishop]

You got so many people on Twitter and elsewhere saying, who is that guy? What's up with that guy? That guy's crazy.

[Gina Grad]

They're enraged.

[Lynette]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

They thought he was out of law, out of line for spouting his views. It's opinion, people.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. I read a lot of very positive stuff about.

[Brian Bishop]

The vast majority was positive.

[Adam Carolla]

Richard Martin. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

They were incensed that such a man would be let on the air.

[Adam Carolla]

Such extreme views and how he treats Jazz, his wife. All right, we got a Baldiwood coming up, which is good. I'm interested. Is it Brooklyn? Yep. Interesting.

[Brian Bishop]

Best Picture nominee.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, I can tell you that the only thing I didn't like about my last dog, Molly, was not a water dog. And I got a lab because I wanted that dog in the pool, man.

[Brian Bishop]

Pool you don't have.

[Adam Carolla]

There's two things. Yes. There's two things I didn't have growing up, which was the dog and the pool. Also, did you guys notice when we were talking to Cliff, AKA Koozie, last week, after I was reunited with him, he said, and what I've said, the fucking reason number 128, I want to knee my dad in the fucking old nuts, is he said his dad just put up a basketball hoop, like on the garage, and he'd just be out there all day.

[Brian Bishop]

He built it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's. I mean, I could remember as a kid seeing, like, just a big piece of plywood that was up there, and it was had, like, a carriage bolt going through, and it'd be bolted to the fascia off at a little weird angle. And just a basketball hoop, no net. They'd go down to the big five, the sporting goods store. They'd buy the hoop for 8.99. And then they'd get some plywood and some whatever, and they just put it up. It's just be in the driveway.

[Brian Bishop]

Not to NCAA specifications, but it'll do in a driveway.

[Adam Carolla]

Hoop definitely do. And the kid will just stay out there and have a fun summer. That's all it is. Or dog. Or many other things that could have been purchased and. Or received when I was young, but

[Brian Bishop]

for a $28 investment, I wanted a

[Adam Carolla]

dog, and I wanted a swimming pool. I got a dog, and I'm building a swimming pool. And I'm gonna get that damn dog to go in it. Cause that dog is climbing into the shower when you're in the shower.

[Brian Bishop]

So Phil's a water dog.

[Adam Carolla]

Phil's a water dog. Phil. It was pouring rain today, and Phil went out in the backyard and was putting her. Putting his head up, Trying to drink the water out of the sky and just plowing. You know, there's always that part of your roof when it rains real hard where it all just comes spilling off. At one point, he. He just hit that one point. Just started hitting it hard. Just digging. Just digging on the rain.

[Gina Grad]

So now, who cleaned him up before he was let back inside?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Natalia's instructed to do everything. But Natalia doesn't do anything. But she went and got the towel, and they threw the towel over them and did that cool move where they walk around. I don't know why. Like a horse. You put the whole thing over them. Towel just spills right over that. You can't see their head or the tail. Then they start walking around. Nothing more.

[Brian Bishop]

It's just a moving towel.

[Gina Grad]

The ghost.

[Adam Carolla]

Nothing more entertaining for the kids than that. On a sat. Another happy note. Saw Sonny at a basketball game last night.

[Gina Grad]

And you just ran into him.

[Adam Carolla]

Just ran into him. Entry hall.

[Brian Bishop]

Just like old times, chatting him up.

[Adam Carolla]

He's walking around before the game. He's holding a brick. I don't know where he got the brick.

[Brian Bishop]

Sounds about right for Sonny in basketball.

[Adam Carolla]

He's holding a brick and he's throwing it. He's kind of holding it and tossing it to himself. He's walking around in his old basketball uniform. And I said, what's the brick for, Sonny? And he said, jerry Rice's dad was a Mason. And we saw this story together some months ago on like a 30 for 30 or whatever. And football life and his dad would toss him the bricks. Bricks are quite brittle if you. They break very easily. No elasticity. And his dad would toss in the bricks. He had to catch it with the soft hand and then put your thing. Yeah. By the way, the number one gig for the old school dudes who are in the NFL who know their dad is Mason.

[Brian Bishop]

Important asterisk at the end.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yes, it really is. That's an old. There's a weird. There's a weird thing, but it's a. It's a old school black dude thing, which is Mason. Not so Cal. So Cal is Hispanic Mason nationwide. Yeah. Like in Atlanta. It is. It's a black dude thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Anyway, Sonny realizes the key to success. Athletic dominance.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Is having a black father in Atlanta.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. Yep. I said, later on, when I'm done with that swimming pool, I'm gonna need that brick to toss into Natalia's bikini.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right, because that chick's a handful.

[Brian Bishop]

He probably shouldn't telegraph that.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

All right, this is ADAM Kurilla, show 1747. Coming up next, we have Adam Carolla, show 1759. Jillian Michaels. David Wilde, Gina Grad, And Brian Bishop. We have a caller asking about what she should name her dog and some more Phil stories.

[Adam Carolla]

Molly 26, Baltimore. Molly, hi. What's going on?

[Lynette]

Nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

Big fan. Hello, everyone. Thanks. What's going on in Baltimore? You know, the crime rate's down. Everything's going great. All right. It's like, it's 94 degrees here. It honestly is like we're. We are setting heat wave. We're setting records all over the place. What. What's it like in Baltimore today? Today it actually warmed up. We had ice this morning, but now it's about 50. Okay.

[Lynette]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You got a question? Yeah, I got a blanket pug male, and we don't know what to name him. Well, I'll tell you. I'll tell you this. I put up this picture on Twitter and tagged everyone, if you need a picture. All right, I'll. I'm not. I'm not suggesting you name him Sloppy Seconds. I'm gonna give him a sloppy seconds name. Okay. When I got Phil that my daughter named Phil, his original name was Dozer. I then called him Phil Dozer for a while because it made me laugh. I remember the TV movie Killdozer. But now Phil Dozer has given away to just. Given way to just Phil. But I like Dozer.

[Gina Grad]

What is Dozer?

[Adam Carolla]

Dozer.

[Brian Bishop]

Bulldozer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's sort of the end part of Bulldozer. But it's also, I don't know, someone who may nod off at any given time.

[Gina Grad]

I like the doozers on the Fraggle Rocks.

[Adam Carolla]

And I like the name Dozer. I didn't have a pug, but I had a blanket black lab. And Dozer seemed to fit Phil Dozer pretty well. So I'm gonna put a vote in for Dozer.

[Gina Grad]

Can I make a suggestion? No. All right, Molly.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

Thanks.

[Gina Grad]

I don't know why, but pugs, they're just so little and weird that I always think it's funny when people put a. Give them a title like sir so and so or His Highness, blah, blah, blah. But I don't know if that's your style.

[Adam Carolla]

That's too fancy. She's gonna get her ass kick. Can I make suggestion? Baltimore General? How about Justice Scalia? It's an adorable name for a puppy. Molly. Yeah? What were you leaning toward? Cunt Bumper Buck after Uncle Buck the movie. Huh? But those are cute. You want to make John Candy's 27th best movie, name your dog after him. I like that movie.

[Brian Bishop]

That are the great outdoors.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Uncle goes with a Dozerian.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You could call it Planes, Trains, or Automobiles.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

That would be another option.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, stop talking now. Go with Dozer. Dozer. Dozer's cute because he does fall asleep wherever he wants.

[Gina Grad]

Of course he does.

[Adam Carolla]

There you go.

[Brian Bishop]

Dozer the Dozerian.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Are you gonna come to the east coast anytime soon? Yeah, we're working on it. We're always working on it.

[Lynette]

It.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll continue to work on it. You can get out. How long till you get to. How long does it take you get to New York City? Not that long. I've thought about making it out to one of those shows. Maybe I will. How long is not that long?

[Gina Grad]

I think the train's like four hours

[Adam Carolla]

or something like that.

[Brian Bishop]

We're not worth it.

[Adam Carolla]

The train's oddly expensive, but you can get a lot done on a train. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, Molly, you work on that crime rate, and we'll work on getting out to Baltimore.

[Adam Carolla]

Jillian Michaels is here, so we'll put you on hold.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

All right, that's Adam Crill show 1759. Coming up next, we have Adam Krilla show episode 2000 with the Try Guys from 2017. More Phil stories.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you and Baldbryan.

[Brian Bishop]

Congratulations, everyone.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to say this. Things in life creep along. We're getting heavy, and they happen very gradually. And the very gradual part is the part that Makes it difficult to wrap your mind around or understand the person who you see on a daily basis who loses 80 pounds. That's understandable, but never jarring. It's that same person you haven't seen since last year. And then you see them. Oh my God, the weight.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

What happened?

[Adam Carolla]

What happened? It's amazing. Oh, great. It just elicits a different response because it's all at once versus the very slow. I've lost four pounds a week for the last 17 weeks and now here we are. So. So that never really gets any response because sometimes it gets looking good or whatever, but it doesn't really get. Not from the day in and day out because those people see every day. Hard to tell. And it's a human thing. What we've been able to do here and come to a place and come to a studio. I had to. As I was floating around in my freezing cold pool the other day and looking at Philly Cheesesteak, who does this great move, which is, is he gets on the. He gets on the side of the pool and looks down at me like, hey, I'm not fucking nuts. I'm not going in there. Like I have a 3 IQ, but I'm still not going in there. But he's all jowl when he looks down at me. You don't get that POV of your dog that often. Or hopefully if you do, you've used plenty of water soluble lube that'll come off in the pool. But that dog just looking down, his jowls start surrounding his eye sockets, which is funny when the jowls spill up into the eyes and he just looks me and he does this weird move where he takes one paw and he just puts it out. Not really. He's not sure what he's getting out of it. He's not sure what he's doing. Are we high fiving? Is he trying to pull me in? I don't have anything he needs. He just does a thing with his paw.

[Brian Bishop]

Is there a little bit of like, is he okay? Should I check him, make sure he's moving?

[Adam Carolla]

I wish there's none. But I was just floating in my freezing cold pool and I was thinking to myself, you know, you. You've been able to carve out a life where you have a warehouse, where you built a studio in your warehouse. You've surrounded yourself with people you want to work with and you get to go in there every day and that's your job. And I was thinking, that is insane. That's an insane notion. I mean, look, it's insane enough that you're able to get a job on Spike TV or you get a job on whatever radio station or whatever that is, but the idea that you just get to go to that warehouse you bought to put a couple of cars in back in the day and go sit in your studio and talk into your microphone as a job is pretty outrageous. Now it's been done incrementally and for so long that it doesn't feel like it would feel if I was just, just in high school or swinging a hammer or whatever it was my former life was. If I just woke up here, it'd be like, oh, my God, this is insane. And it's important, I think, for everybody to sort of see if you can dunk yourself in the freezing, frigid waters of life every once in a while and think, wait a minute, here I am, look at this. I mean, it's so easy with the kids and the schedule and everything, to have everything just kind of pass you by. Where at the, you know, we're capable as humans of marveling at, you know, you took me. Take me in TiVo or DVR. I went from. Wait a minute, you can't stop TV. You can't pause a live show. I'm not a warlock. That's alchemy. Well, you can't do this stuff. How do you do it to. Jesus Christ. I recorded the goddamn playoff game, but didn't do the spillover.

[Brian Bishop]

The thing ran 17.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't see the fourth quarter. I didn't see the last three minutes of fourth quarter. Now I'm ripped. Yet that's what we're able to do as human beings from the. Oh my God, I could have traded a five year old DVR to Elvis for his house in 1975.

[Brian Bishop]

Possibly two of them.

[Adam Carolla]

Possibly two of us, yes, and a couple of his lady friends. But now I'm yelling at mine because it wasn't smart enough or I wasn't smart enough to hit the extend and record the rest of the fourth quarter of the football game. So that's where we're at. And I am going to tell you right now that I do appreciate this, that I do think about this, that I realize that it can't be done without you guys and it can't be done without the sharing. I. I took Philly Cheesesteak for a walk on Friday night when everybody was somewhere other than home. And I just called the guy Matt from Chicago, who had lost his dad and his sister in the plane crash. And we had a nice chat, and he's 24, and my God, I mean, talking to him about his tool room, and him and his dad had his tool room, and they had the tool room in the basement. And I was asking him what he had, and he did part where he said, we have a band saw. There's a band saw. But we. We have to put it. I have to put it together. It's still in the box kind of thing. And I sort of realized, oh, he got that while his dad was around, and they had planned on putting it together and using it, but we had a very nice conversation, and it meant

[Gina Grad]

a lot to him that you called.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it meant a lot to me because I sang. Our fans, he said, oh, we saw you in Chicago, and we saw you doing stand up, and we saw you doing live podcasts. I took my dad. My dad took me. Whatever it is. That's why we're here. And we never lose sight of that. So I want to thank all of you for listening for all these years and being a part of these 2,000 episodes. So I appreciate it. And now we'll move Forward with our 2,000th episode. Let's see, we got our Rich Banks song. Gary. Mm. Brian has it.

[Brian Bishop]

I do.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Brian Bishop]

I have not heard it.

[Adam Carolla]

I have not either. Let's check it out. Let's give it a listen. This could be the beginning of something great. Or it could be painful, humiliating. 20 minutes. Let me tell you about first off, I got to say this. I'm nervous. I don't know why, but I've never done this before.

[Lynette]

Jimmy Kimmel Pets on plane Adam's magic crystal brain backup beepers Brian's cancer lazy Hippie Mom Seth McFarland Gavin Newsome asshole patent troller sue and Brian Cranston Brian Bishop both spelled with a yeah, blah, blah blah. Ken Burns at your tea no returns Jay Moore the death rat guy Bryan Cranston does gay eye no more showers hygiene he pissed off the Philippines Alec Baldwin reeled Hoffer done his right Goodbye he's done 2,000 podcasts and you keep complaining anger never WANING he's done 2,000 podcasts and he'll keep on going Cause it's heart he's blowing over Power makes you sick 50 years we'll all be chicks Max a fat a half tart carry jerkin on a flight Vince Dog Dr. Spaz Richard Martin NY Jazz Larry Miller's road trips Occupy Wall Street K Rock Road hot Newman's got a winning Doc Fondelier is dropping turds Harlon Williams doing birds try so we can rage I cast a on a cruise ship endless rant IPA tournament a rose

[Brian Bishop]

podcast comprehensive. There could be 10 more versions

[Lynette]

t gay Marty Lang August looks like Katie Lang Rich Banks genius tits who the sells the shit Garrett Ghost doctor Drew David Wild ball Jew lackey stole his microbrew Elliot cool interview my God Sonny Bono, Yoko Beastie Boys Holler notes Huelhauser Mike Ro may or be a retardo Dawson president me made up peanut allergies retards at the Huff Pole Kevin Smith's an asshole Easter 2000 podcast and you keep complaining and you're Never waning Easter 2000 podcast and you keep on waiting going cuz it's hard it's blowing Albert Brooks has best guess Lynette kicked off Southwest Molly Philly big mama got it all Sunny and Natalia not Taco Bell material Olga cheap calls change smoking baby doll no beer in first class Dagas Teddy Pendergrass DFG not JV what else do you want from me? He's a 2000 hard gas can you keep the flipping?

[Gina Grad]

I hope it goes another hour.

[Lynette]

Yeah, Me Too Easton 2000 podcast can you keep on going? Cause it's hard it's blowing Tavern Jor Bunglo, sue definitely not a Jew rich man, poor man Bollywood Kalin taxes fair share Jeff Ross Rose Eisen and the dope post Guinness record from Gervais Celebrity Apprentice made a movie favorite tweets red race reading beats do his best not your best window of negligence he sold out Seattle's more mangrias in your liquor store mechanics complain about mama's chanting freak out these are 2000 podcasts and you keep complaining and you're never waiting we used a 2000 podcast and if the mics were gone we'd still get it on and on and on and on.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah Rich Banks with them guessing an assist from Mike lynch.

[Brian Bishop]

That is their opus.

[Gina Grad]

That was amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely amazing.

[Brian Bishop]

We should play that on stage in Fresno. That bears repeated listening. There's a lot. I need to unpack that song.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I. I agree. And we'll pack it with us. We can unpack and bring it with us to Fresno. By the way, that'll be Saturday Tower theater. Come on out and say hi. Let's see. I will tell you.

[Brian Bishop]

Where do we go from there?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Downhill.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

All right, that was Adam Crillo show up. So 2000. Coming up next, we have Adam Crillo show 2148. Also from 2017, more Phil anecdotes Philly cheese day. Check it out.

[Adam Carolla]

A man with more grit than Hova. Adam Carolla. Ah, that's a good joke. Yeah, man. Hulva is gritty. More grit than Hulva. Mike lynch has had some time to write some openings lately because we always tell when he's. When he's pressed, he puts a song lyric in. Right. That man won't be fooled again.

[Brian Bishop]

Ramblin man.

[Adam Carolla]

Whatever song queen from New Orleans. Yeah. All he's doing is driving to his next appointment in Lowell, and whatever song comes on, he just writes down, ding.

[Brian Bishop]

This will be stream of consciousness soon. Take a right on first Street. Adam Corolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry I messed that one. Well, I'll give you take another shot at it. And now a man with more grit than Hulva, Adam Carolla. Yeah, the Jews are like, we haven't punished ourselves enough. We need to invent a dessert that's sand based. There's so many ones that are custard based and nougat based, but we want that sand based. A little taste of the desert in your mouth. You know that thing when you fall asleep with your mouth open and it's windy and dry? A dessert that tastes like that with just a little silica of sand sprinkled on top.

[Gina Grad]

Just a drop of honey.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you. And bald Brian. What? The other Brian from the other shop. And the duo. Will Andrew and Brian eat it now that Andrew's gone back to the Massachusetts area, we have one man holding down the fort, and that's Brian with a Y.

[Brian Bishop]

Is that true?

[Adam Carolla]

Brian with an I?

[Brian Bishop]

Brian.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's Brian with an I. Dare you. Who's the other Brian with a Y? That I?

[Brian Bishop]

Bryan Cranston, your best friend. You give rise to the airport too? All the time.

[Adam Carolla]

That must be the other one. Yeah, I thought it was with a Y. I'm trying to think of who else had the Y in there, but maybe I was laughing about Cranston. Anyway, good. It's glad that you guys don't share the same spelling. Share the same spelling. All right, so Brian is here. Now, Brian is equally as. No, no one's as picky as Andrew was, but he's erratic. So he's a rogue. He's like a CIA agent gone rogue. And now he's in deep culinary cover. You don't know where he's going with his food.

[Gina Grad]

Well, and don't you think what he lacks in finickiness, he makes up for in anger?

[Adam Carolla]

He's angry at the food. I just experienced him Cracking a. I believe in my refrigerator at the other shop there was a ginger ale.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it was a Jamaican ginger ale,

[Adam Carolla]

which had actual ginger in it.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, I didn't see that coming.

[Adam Carolla]

So he cracked that bad boy and then announced pretty quickly, not a fan.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, you did see that.

[Adam Carolla]

That's how I get rich, by the way. Buy ginger ales, people take one hit off them and go, not a fan.

[Gina Grad]

Artisanal ginger ale.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No, the expensive stuff. That's how I get rich.

[Lynette]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, if I was just getting the Canada Dry stuff, it'd take me years to amass this empire. No, I have to get the high end, top shelf ginger ale and then have guys crack it and hand it off to people. Did anyone drink that?

[Brian Bishop]

Sam drank it and then Jacob drank mine.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so he finished it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So my wiring is this. I walked in to the lunch area while everyone was eating lunch, Brian announced that he's not a fan of my ginger ale. And I have zero problems with that as long as somebody in that table drinks it. If that thing's going down the drain, then I'm pissed.

[Brian Bishop]

No, if it was going to no one, I would have just finished it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Oh, I like that.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't want to waste food.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm with you.

[Brian Bishop]

I just don't necessarily like it.

[Adam Carolla]

All I have the thought, but I have this insane thing, but it's again, totally reasonable. It's where you come from. Can make almost anything seem insane. Like when I sit around and I'm having these discussions, arguments with my daughter about, look, just have Starbucks deliver the stuff. Just deliver it. I'm gonna get in the pool. I'm like, no, no. And she's like, why not? Why wouldn't you have Starbucks just deliver? They deliver. And I'm like, Cause it's the middle of the week, in the middle of the day and you don't have Starbucks. It's. And my point of view is, this is insane. I can't believe this is where we're at. I'm not gonna be this person. Her thing is. What the fuck is wrong with you, old man? We have a problem. Starbucks closed at 8pm It's 7:30 and I wanna go night swimming, but I want a shake from Starbucks so this will solve that problem. Why are you breaking down in front of me? So I realize that's how I am. And. And when somebody cracks a beer or soda and God forbid, like the $4 smoothie and they take two hits off it and then just leave it on the Counter to sweat out and die, and they just leave. It's insane to me. Like that. The notion of ordering a malt or milkshake or something and not pulling the cap off and working the bottom spittle with the. With the. Using the straw. Like a monkey attacks an anthill when he holds the thing and lets the ants crawl up the stick and then he puts a stick in his mouth. That's what I do. I'm like a monkey on an anthill with that straw. Because I can't have the notion of a drop of this going into the garbage seems insane. And when I see people buying shakes and smoothies and IPA beers and stuff, and just taking a hit or drawing, then setting it down and moving, moving on drives me insane. Is that a poor person thing, Brian? Yeah. Did you grow up poor?

[Brian Bishop]

No, I grew up fine, but I just learned to not waste.

[Adam Carolla]

It's ugly, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Always find someone else to take it.

[Adam Carolla]

I just handed Chris Maxapata. What was our last exchange? Maxapata, 10 minutes ago, you brought in

[Brian Bishop]

a thing of green beans, and you just said, where's Maxapata? And I walk out and said, here's some green beans. And I took them and I put them in my bag.

[Adam Carolla]

That's how we worked. He's my goat. I don't want to waste anything. And I had green beans at the other shop, and there's no way anyone over there is eating green beans.

[Brian Bishop]

I think this instinct can be instilled via poorness and also via teaching, because I was fairly middle of class, but my grandpa would make us. He'd put out the ice cream right? When he bathes out, he's like, you can have as much as you want, but finish whatever you take. And to a young, fat, bald Brian, like, balding Brian, that was music to my ears. So there was none wasted, right? He was like, have as much as you want. Just don't waste a drop.

[Gina Grad]

Eat what you take.

[Brian Bishop]

Can't do, Gramps.

[Gina Grad]

I wonder how you would do in, like, certain parts of Asia. Because it's considered rude to clean your whole plate because that means that the chef didn't provide enough food for you, so you want to leave a little. Yeah. So they know you had just enough and they did their job.

[Adam Carolla]

I would not do well in certain parts of Asia for a multitude of reasons, but hitting your head in every doorway. Thoughts about certain people from certain parts of Asia that are very pronounced and very strong. I not only finish my plate, but when I'm done with my plate, I call in Philly cheesesteak. I set the plate on the ground and Phil laps it all up. Now there was a problem because Phil had another seizure. So he's had two seizures in like six weeks.

[Brian Bishop]

Is it heat related? Because it's very hot.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's middle of the night with like the air conditioning running and he just wakes up in the middle of the night and it's always this thing. The good news is it's gotten me to wear shorts to bed because I'm tired of nude frantic activities at 4:30 in the morning because there's a party that wants to tend to fill and then another party wants to cover your junk up.

[Brian Bishop]

Boy, has life changed for you. You're not looking forward to frantic activity

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

is a fun one.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just weird to be in weird hunched over paramedic mode with your ball sack swinging against Phil's head while he lays on his head. He's foaming from the mouth and I'm teabagging him. I just said I'm gonna throw some shorts on before I go to bed,

[Gina Grad]

you know, so what's up?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know what's up, but he's had his second seizure and he, you know, lays on his side. A lot of people have a lot of pets that have seizures and that's fine. And if you have a lap dog, it's a nightmare. But when you have 110 pound dog, it's potentially destructive. Phil's falling over, his legs are moving as fast as he can, his mouth is foaming. Of course Lynette, who's always a voice of reason is screaming, oh my God, we're all going to die. Like over and over again.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you make the best hostage negotiator?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Crisis counselor. Here comes land of hurricane Harvey.

[Gina Grad]

Don't give him a towel.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, actually that piece of advice would be very helpful.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, her first yet. She'd be great with hostage. She'd be like, first things first. I know you wanted the meat lovers pizza delivered. I ordered the veggie lovers and I ate it. All right, that's first thing. Number two, we're all gonna die. So that's what I've been saying since

[Brian Bishop]

the guy with the gun.

[Adam Carolla]

Shovee Bill is like, you know, running frantically and panting and some sort of fugue state and foam's coming out of his mouth. I have Lynette's going nuts. I have the dual thought of Lynette's going nuts. The dog may be dying, but if he's gonna die, let's not die on the carpet with the foam in the mouth, let's hit the tile. Much easier to whack up. And then also the teabagging problem.

[Lynette]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

So right in the eyes. Phil had another seizure. And then the other night. So the other night, I got Olga, the nanny, to make chicken paprikash, which was my grandfather's best dish. And it's nothing better than the creamy sauce, and you ladle it over the whatever. And I took the potatoes home that I announced to James at the other shop. Would you like some potatoes, James? And he announced he does not like baked potatoes. So I then took the baked, which I didn't not know was an option.

[Brian Bishop]

Brian's nodding solemnly.

[Adam Carolla]

I did not know.

[Brian Bishop]

Am I nodding? I thought I was just staring.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't nod. Poker face. So I brought the potato home, and I was ladling the chicken paprikash over the potato. And when I was done, I do what I always do, which is I set the plate down for Philly cheesesteak to lick off. But Lynette, who now has a degree in veterinarian science, screamed, no. I said, why not? She said, cause he had the chicken paprikash tonight. He had the seizure. And then I do what I always do, and I go, all right, now we gotta find a virgin and we gotta throw her in a volcano to stop all the rain in Houston. You know what I mean? Because, well, obviously there's a correlation between. Yeah, let's be smart about this life here we live. But it's really hard to argue with somebody whose dog did finish off the chicken paprikash and then did have a seizure at 4 in the morning. It's hard to tell that person. Nah, I think they need more chicken paprikash. That's what the doctor ordered, so that's tough.

[Brian Bishop]

He told me once.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So I had to lift the plate up. But between Max Apata at the job and Phil at home,

[Brian Bishop]

followed around clean plates.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's like somebody bred.

[Gina Grad]

Can Phil take pictures?

[Adam Carolla]

Goat with a pelican and then just sort of mashed it up with a garbage disposal and then got it super high and then just had it follow you around. And you could just throw shrimp tails and bits and gristle and bones and stuff just over your shoulder and just gobble it up. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know what Phil's doing here.

[Adam Carolla]

He's in my territory right now.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Phil's funny. Phil's favorite spot in my house and here is splayed in out in A very high traffic zone. He likes to find the corridor that leads where everyone's walking back and forth, and then he plops right there. And I'm assuming it's to be petted, Right.

[Gina Grad]

He likes to be where the humans are.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone stops. Well, it's like the guy who's rattling the can and playing the acoustic guitar has to find the crowded subway where everyone walks down to the subway, but you can't go in the desert. You don't get any change. Phil. People stop and pet Phil as they walk past him. And that's why he doesn't go to the back.

[Brian Bishop]

There are other cool areas he could go.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Let me ask you a question. Is his head able to point toward the main exit or entrance to the house at any time from where he is? He does like to lay in the middle of the entry hall with his head pointed at the door. He does. He does two moves. He does toward the move and a wave. The move. He likes to be around the front door, and it's also in the high traffic. He's protecting you guys. Wow. In his own way, he's got to protect me from the full workup, including puppy CAT scan, ironically, that he's going to need to get with the blood test and everything else when Dr. Drew gets hold of Lynette with the whole seizure situation. Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

All right. That's adam krillo. Show 2148. Coming up next, we have adam krillo. Show 2260 53. Mark gergas, gina grad, brian bishop from 2018.

[Adam Carolla]

I had a. You know how I don't need much to go or know about a person to know if I like them or can hang with them or whatever with them?

[Brian Bishop]

You pick up on indicators pretty quick.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, indicators. And speaking of indicators, I'll talk about turn indicators. I. Today. Today I was driving. The street that I used to get to the freeway is a T. My street goes along. That's the top of the tee. And then the base of the tee sort of runs into it. And I turn left. Today, there was a lady coming my direction, the other direction on the top of the tee coming toward me. And we're both gonna hit the base tee at the same time. And there was also a woman, like, crossing the street or something at the same area T intersection. And I put my left turn signal on because I want them to know that this is my plan. I feel like it's gonna factor into their plan. Helps them out, figure out. And I also want the woman who's crossing the street, knowing that I'm intending on turning her direction and blah, blah, blah, the person that was coming my direction and didn't do anything. And here's the thing about not signaling. And the problem with not signaling, not signaling doesn't mean nothing. It means you're going straight, bitch. That's the whole thing. I wish it just meant nothing. I wish I was going, hey, I don't know if that person's turning right here or not. I will toss a coin. No, in this responsible driver's eyes, it means you are going straight while I'm turning left. Except for at the last moment you turn right in front of me down the same street. Which is fine, it's just, it'd be nice.

[Brian Bishop]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

And then later on we get to the signal and I sit behind you and I'm going straight to get on the freeway. And I assume you're going straight as well, because there's nothing you're doing to indicate anything other than this. And then at some point the signal changes and you move forward, stop to turn left. And I just think, that's the one. What is it and why is it? And then how come it's neither here nor there? Like, it just never, it's never. And all the freeway signs with all the useless information on there. And think about, think about the fact that on my way home the other day, the freeway was all jacked up because somebody got no fender bender and whatever and was pulled off by the side, but had the paramedics and blah, blah, blah. And think about all the congestion, all the traffic and all the needless injuries and property damage and possibly lives lost because on the freeway somebody neglected to signal before they started changing a lane, like I would imagine multiple times daily, if you could say. So if you went and said to whomever who's running the signs, the electronic sign signs, what percentage of people pass under these signs with their seatbelt off and then are called to action to put the seatbelt on? Like, okay, who doesn't? It's my land of the lost theory, which is there are two groups. There's two groups in Los Angeles. They're the 92% who put the seatbelt on because it's simply what we do. And also I will have an epileptic seizure if I drive my car with my seatbelt off. Because the constant bong and chime and flashing light, my 110 pound Philly cheesesteak the other day decided when I was driving to work, he decided the backseat was no good for him anymore. He Decided he wanted to head up into the front seat, so. So he walked across the console and he set himself down in the passenger seat. And then he just sat there. And the bongs, the chime started going off.

[Brian Bishop]

Smallish human there.

[Adam Carolla]

Now I'm driving, trying to figure out a way to get the belt. Here's how committed I am to avoiding this sound. I now have pulled the belt with my right hand, and I'm pulling it back, and Phil's fat ass is blocking the female side of the belt, the receptacle. So I'm trying to shove his fat ass over, over and get it buckled in. It's weird. It's a weird angle to go at it because I'm going straight across. I'm not bowing. I'm not.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, you're not buckling.

[Adam Carolla]

No one really showed that thing. I'm going straight across. So I'm belting. I'm putting this belt on. So here's how effective the automobile is in a world where I don't care. And I'm like, I'm the guy, by the way. I'm the guy who's in. You know, when Dr. Drew and I were traveling many years ago, and at, like, 3am the fire alarm in the hotel went off and everyone filed out under the lawn. Everyone just had, like, a bathrobe or a towel on or sweatpants on. And they just all were. Everyone just exited the hotel and was standing at the lawn, on the lawn. I was looking out my window at all of them just going, suckers. Suckers. Because they had a prom at the same hotel. And when I was. I was, like, coming back from the gig, and I noticed a lot of young troublemakers, like, running around with Mickey's big mouth in their system. And I was like, some guy, you know, 2:45, some drunk pulled the alarm. But I also said. I remember thinking. And this is my entire approach to life. I remember thinking, well, everyone else thinks it's a fire or at least is doing what they're supposed to do. I'm not, because I think they're suckers for going out there. It's cold, and I'm in my underpants, and I don't feel like getting dressed and going out there. And I bet in 10 minutes they're all gonna turn around and come back in. But if I have to throw this chair through this window and jump out, I'm on the second floor. Like, I'm gonna break a bone. But I'm not gonna die in this hotel if there's a fire. So so anyway, it's a fair exchange. I ignore stuff all the time. But I cannot ignore my car.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because it won't allow. Will not allow it.

[Brian Bishop]

Relentless.

[Adam Carolla]

So the populace of Los Angeles can be broken down into two groups. People who do wear their seatbelt, which is everyone. And then a small percentage of people who have just chosen not to no

[Brian Bishop]

amount of concern convincing.

[Adam Carolla]

They have either gotten themselves the female. I'm sorry, the male end of the buckle just to snap into their thing. Like you can just get it, snap it in so it doesn't go off. Or they're ignoring the pinball machine that is their dashboard that is tilting when they're, when they're driving whatever it is.

[Brian Bishop]

Or the car so old it's not built in with the ding, ding, ding. Which you probably do. See a few of them.

[Gina Grad]

Couple of those in la.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a couple. There's a couple in this town. Probably should be written in Spanish. Hey, how do you do click it or ticket in Spanish? Because that. It never rhymes. That's the problem. But God's honest, if there's someone driving around this town and their truck or car is so old that they don't have the light going off. Although Preet, that bong is like the placard on the front or the light up thing. And the bong I think is from like 1974 or something. Like it's really old. But if there is somebody in Los Angeles that's driving around a pickup truck from 1971 that and has no idea about this thing known as the seatbelt, that person definitely speaks some Spanish. May not be their first language, but I definitely understand Spanish. Yeah, definitely can get by put that goddamn sign in Spanish. You would affect you. You honestly, God's honest. If you love the brown people and we're looking for the sliver of folks that aren't yet hip to the seatbelt, you would get a much better return

[Brian Bishop]

on your investment in Spanish use of that sign.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely. And people go like, oh, don't be racist. I don't know, do you want to save the guys and have them put a seatbelt on or not? You get much more bang for your buck in this town. If that was written in Spanish, do you have what? Click it or tick. Wait, tick. Click it or ticket. Is it Spanish? It's not going to sound good. It's not gonna rhyme. Okay, that's ozzy. So how about signal to save lives or signal on a lane change? Just. How about a general overall attempt to get the populace of Los Angeles to

[Brian Bishop]

signal, to embrace the signal.

[Adam Carolla]

And then we can avoid many accidents, lots of injury, life loss and property damage. And then the holdups that come from the accident taking up the three lanes and the bottlenecking everything else. Why not just the simple.

[Brian Bishop]

I think that's a weapon. Hit it on the head. It's too simple. It's something everyone can agree on and it would work. So of course we're not going to do it.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, it's a brochado o multado. Click it or tick it. No, Brian.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's nice. They all kind of rhyme, all Spanish words, right? They end with like the O or something. Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

How dare you.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, keep that in. Yeah, we'll edit that out, actually. Why?

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

All right, coming up for our last clip of the day, we have Adam Colo Show 2311. It's featuring Paul Rodriguez, Gina Grad, and Brian bishop, also from 2018. Check it out.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you. And bald Brian. Hey, now, I notice, you know, with these airbud earbud things they put in your. No one knows you're on the phone anymore. You just walk down the street, had a guy pull over. I'm from Canada. Eh, Wanna come by and look at the cars? And then the other woman who explained. Explained to me that Phil is constantly walking around their house because he walks out of the gate. Because they leave the gate open and then Phil makes his way out and then they go get. I think people, they all like Phil, so they like to chill with him a little bit. And then we. We go get him back. I don't know. I always feel like a bad owner. But it's the other guy's fault. I mean, it's the guys at the other shop. They got to shut that gate, right?

[Gina Grad]

He's the mayor.

[Adam Carolla]

He's the mayor.

[Gina Grad]

Survey his land

[Brian Bishop]

Cruiser act.

[Podcast Narrator/Host]

All right, That's Adam Colisho, 2311. This is just a small assortment of really hilarious Phil stories and anecdotes throughout the years. The entire Corolla family really loved that dog. And you could tell with Adam's reaction at the beginning of the week. Rest in peace, Phil. Mahalo, and get it on.

[Brian Bishop]

Early birds always rise to the occasion for summer vacation planning because early gets you closer to the action.

[Adam Carolla]

So don't be late.

[Brian Bishop]

Book your next vacation early on VRBO and save over $120. Rise and shine. Average savings $141. Select homes only.