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Adam Carolla
Strawberry Me. Let's talk careers for a second. We all got to have a job, but what you really want is a career. Something that makes you feel like you're actually building something, not just clocking in and clocking out. I talked to Vincent over at Strawberry. Great guy, by the way. First rate people over there, super nice, smart, and they actually care about helping you move forward. I know that firsthand because I talked to Vincent over there. Strawberry Me helps you go from stuck at work to feeling good about what you do. They'll match you with a career coach who gets your goals. You take a quick quiz and bam, you're on your way. They'll help you figure out what you want, what you're worth, and how to get there. Whether that's negotiating better pay, finding a new gig, or finally moving into something you care about. Head to Strawberry Me ACS to get 50% off your first week. It's your career, take care of it. That's Strawberry Me acs. Stop settling. Start building the career you actually want.
Robert Wagner
Foreign.
Adam Carolla
Classics I'm your host, super fan, Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the.
Bald Bryan
Best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Corolla show.
Adam Carolla
We have a companion podcast titled Corolla.
Bald Bryan
Classics available through podcast1dotplus.
Adam Carolla
We're where you can find the ad free archives and if you'd like the.
Matt Atchety
Ad free archives for the Adam Carolla show, the Adam and Dr. Drew show, or exclusive access to the brand new podcast Beat it out.
Adam Carolla
Make sure to check out Adam Carolla substack adamcarolla.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsamcarolla.com.
Matt Atchety
All right, let's get to the clips coming up.
Adam Carolla
First we have Adam Carolla Show 1285.
Matt Atchety
Featuring Robert Wagner, Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop from 2014.
Adam Carolla
Good day, Allison Rosen. Hello Adam Carolla, Bob Ryan.
Bald Bryan
A number of requests for that one over the last couple days with the hashtag top drop.
Adam Carolla
Thank you. Bobby Wag's coming in. Bwag, bwag's coming in. I must say, with this Newman raising documentary I've been working on, we've been able to collect just about everybody but Wagner was the first guy to show up. Old school gentleman, sort of. Hollywood wanted to check with Joanne Woodward to make sure it was okay with her that he heap preys on her deceased husband Paul Newman, the race car driver, like just wanted to check that sort of thing, which is a bygone era. Came in here and sat down and it was one of the first interviews we did. And everyone has been fantastic. John Lasseter has been absolutely amazing. From Pixar.
Bald Bryan
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
But he's kind of. He's kind of the first one. Wagner was kind of first one to sit down and really talk about Newman and getting started and doing the movie, winning and all that kind of stuff. And he's all over the doc and he's just fantastic in it. So it'll be nice to see him and just couldn't have been. Couldn't have been. You know, I don't know. I guess it's Leno who once said when I was talking to him about this stuff, it doesn't have to be that difficult. It just. It doesn't have to be that difficult. It's Adam's at Laguna Seca. Adam wants to talk about Paul Newman. Hey, Patrick Dempsey. Hey, Jay Leno. Hey, could you come into this trailer here and sit down for 20 minutes and just kind of share your feelings on the guy? And then the answer is, yeah, no big deal.
Allison Rosen
There's a whole bunch of people whose entire job and whose reason for existing is to make it difficult.
Adam Carolla
Yes. And they could not justify their incredible paychecks if it was just that easy.
Allison Rosen
Exactly.
Adam Carolla
So you must go around and around and around and around. Or then there's Bryan Cranston and you realize it doesn't matter who you are, it still just boils down to you look at your calendar and you go, yeah, I could come by for 45 minutes on that date and sit down with you. And by the way, I'm not saying I have an anal fissure and I need you to lance it. Although that gets worked into the conversation at some point.
Allison Rosen
You don't start with that, though.
Adam Carolla
What I'm saying is, come into this air conditioned environment and sit on a director's chair and tell me about Paul Newman, your ex friend and driving buddy or whatever it is.
Bald Bryan
And if the anal fisher comes up.
Adam Carolla
If it comes up, we'll lance that ship. Obviously it's up, but what I'm saying is, in conversation. Yes, that's it. You'll be offered a bottled water and some trail mix. It'll take 45 minutes. Oh, and by the way, 100 years from now when we're all gone, there'll be this thing floating around about Paul Newman with you on it and me on it. Someone may see it one day and be inspired.
Bald Bryan
Now, was B Wags one of the first to sort of come aboard, sign on, help out all that stuff.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. B. Wags was the first. I think he was one of the first celebrities we got involved. And then. Then P. Demps jumped on, P. Damps jumped on. And J. Lo.
Bald Bryan
You guys probably. You guys probably have this, too. You guys probably have this. Have observed this in any project you do, whether it's a documentary or anything, the first person to jump on board and sort of lend that support that you don't. There's certain people you expect to. You hope to. You sort of count on, like, oh, I think this person will be involved. Or this person who gave you a.
Adam Carolla
Quote for your book.
Bald Bryan
That wasn't what I was thinking about, but now that you mention it, there's a very nice quote. But the first person to jump on board and sort of lend their support to whatever the project is, can send it far beyond, or at least to where you hope it would go.
Adam Carolla
I'm convinced this is what happened with Ocean's Eleven.
Bald Bryan
It may have been.
Adam Carolla
I'm convinced it may have been. They said to Clooney Pitt was on board before Clooney was on board. And then told Pitt and told Clooney Pitt was on board before they do that. But I've read through the. You know, I've done the thing where they do the. You know, hey, this is a celebrity bass tournament, and the money's going to the City of Hope, and you've got to be out at Lake Piru at 5:00am on Thursday, and it's 12 hours. Well, we confirmed William Refrigerator Perry, okay?
Bald Bryan
Packers fan.
Adam Carolla
The guy played Gunther from Friends.
Bald Bryan
The TV show.
Adam Carolla
TV show Friends.
Bald Bryan
There was a character named Gunther.
Adam Carolla
Well, in the credits. Yeah.
Bald Bryan
Okay. Okay.
Allison Rosen
Teresa Gonzale.
Adam Carolla
Teresa Gonzale.
Bald Bryan
Oh, I love him.
Adam Carolla
Right? Then there's. There'll be this guy, too. Then there's Chad Stevens from Dude, where's my beer? 3. You saw that movie?
Bald Bryan
I may. I saw the first.
Adam Carolla
Anyway, we've reached out to Madonna and Paul McCartney and President Clinton. Well, obviously, a certain percentage of them will come through. So they do the. Here's who we have, and here's who we've reached out. Whenever you hear who we've reached out to, why don't you reach out to fucking Abe Lincoln while you're at it? There's no fucking way Prince is going to show up at this bass tournament.
Bald Bryan
But Ocean's Eleven.
Adam Carolla
But they. So they reach out so that they tell you, here's who. We've confirmed. That is a bunch of nobodies. But we've reached out to. But those people will Never, of course, show up.
Bald Bryan
Questions 11. You think they got it?
Adam Carolla
I think they got everybody. Cheadle and everyone else. Based on Matt Damon. I think it all went out the same day, and they all said these guys were already in. Correct. Is that correct? Correct. Is that. Elliot? Yes. You were in. Well, you were in Ocean's 11. I don't think you're in 12, but, Matt, you took 12 off, but were you in 7? I don't think it is. No. I think you took 12 off, but then you came back for 13. Is that. Is that correct? Yes. Would you like to elaborate? No. Okay, so just yes on. You were there. Who gives a shit? Well, no, I'm. I'm. I think the fans want to know. I'm. I'm asking. I know you're. Well, I'm not trying to be combative, Elliot. I'm just saying that you. You did Ocean's Eleven. Don't you know anything about it? I do. I've saw Ocean's 11. 12, and most of 13 actually left. I think you'll love it. No, I didn't like it. That's why. That's why I left. No, no, I did leave the theater. Yes, Yes, I did leave. That's what I'm. Hold on. My wife and I got up, and we left about two thirds of the way in. Remind me of Gilbert Gar. Okay, I don't know why we have to take a turn for the insulting here. I'm just telling you about the film. I didn't enjoy it. But that wasn't your fault. You were fine. I think you were, like, in a coma through most of it. You want to talk some more? Well, I would like to discuss Ocean's Thirteen. I'm just saying. Who gives a shit? Well, no, what I want to know is when you were. When they reached out to you. Had they already got Pittsburgh and including. They reach. Just reach out to you? We just did. No, I'm. But I know I'm bringing this up. I want to know if they've gotten those guys on board first. Correct. Oh, so they had those guys and so. Well, that's what they said to you. Correct? Correct. Always. So they always say that. Always. So that's correct. Always. That would be correct, then. No, I don't think it is. I. I feel like you're being combative, Elliot. I don't care. Okay, you know what? This isn't going any better than the time we're up on stage together at Amalfi. Do you think I'm in a shell No, I don't. I don't think you're in a shell. I'm just fine, thank you. I'm glad you're doing well. I'm just saying, just to cut. Just to confirm, they had Pitt and they had Clooney on board before they reached out to you. Do you know something that I don't know? No, I'm not implying they didn't. I'm just. I'm trying to figure out how the process works, to be honest. I don't know who the fuck he is. You don't know who Brad Pitt is? No. George Clooney? Yes. You do know Clooney. Yes. But you don't know Pitt? No. Why wouldn't you know? Pitt is. I mean, just Angelina Jolie, you know, and she's married. He's married to Angelina Jolie. Who gives a shit? I'm not. I'm just Rick, I'm just. It's just. I'm sorry. I'm just. It's information I'm putting out there. That's all. I'm not. Did you know anything about it? I do. I know enough to know who. Brad Pitt. Is that correct? Yes, I am correct. I don't think it is. Let me say something. I saw young, shirtless Brad Pitt and Thelma and Louise. And I said at that moment, I said, that kid's got it. You understand? Yes. Yes. Okay. And so I was right. Yes, correct. Okay, now we're getting somewhere. We just did. Yeah, we were there. All right.
Bald Bryan
He's all about the non sequitur, that Elliot Gould, you think? He got him pinned down and he zigs, he zogs.
Allison Rosen
He was lively today, though.
Bald Bryan
He was.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Bald Bryan
We don't know. Since 11, he's like, I gotta get in on this.
Adam Carolla
All right. So Robert Wagner coming in. And I used to. When I used to.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Watch.
Adam Carolla
When I. When I used to watch Heart to Heart back. That was one of my babysitting shows. Back in the day. I had no life. I would get paid a dollar an hour.
Allison Rosen
Please don't take this the wrong way, but it sort of surprises me that someone trusted you with their children.
Adam Carolla
I live next door. I.
Bald Bryan
He was rummaging through the pantry.
Adam Carolla
There was nothing to do. There was no, you know, it wasn't like I had to perform a circumcision or, you know, appendectomy or anything like that. You know, they didn't have, like, a wound that needed to be cleaned or anything.
Allison Rosen
You just had to be present.
Adam Carolla
The kid was basically asleep when I got there. For the most part. And I would show up and I would sit on their sofa which was newish in corduroy, so it was very modern to me. I was used to, I to used, I was like, where's your sofa sheet? And they're like, huh? The sheet that goes on the sofa, the flowery sheet, the sheet that you put over the sofa so you know, hides the rust and the blood stains. Oh no, we just buy. Oh, they come this way, they come with just regular coverings.
Allison Rosen
So naked.
Jillian Barbary
Woo.
Adam Carolla
Weird. All right, so I would sit there and I would watch, you know, all the shows, you know, the Love Boats and the Dantanas of Vegas and all that kind of stuff. But at some point I would Heart to Heart. I guess it would depend if it was a Friday night or Saturday night, I can't remember. But I would sit there and just stare at Stephanie Powers and Robert Wagner and I would just watch those shows. And you know, they always talk about this when they talk about a child's young psyche, they go, oh, do you really think you want to see him seeing this poverty or this violence or you know, these people that are socially not right or these families that are broken or whatever. And let me tell you something, that is a far cry better than watching the really good looking couple. One of them drives the Mercedes, the other drives the Ferrari and they solve crime in their spare time. And they have a butler named Max. And when they met it was murder because as a 12 year old Adam Carolla with depressed mama flopped out on the mattress. No box ring, no frame, just mattress on the floor and the piece of shit that grandma let her squat in. Knowing I had to return to that versus the castle they lived on where they're, you know, going all over creation to solve crime. There was a much more depressing reality. I felt much better after watching Sanford and Son and shows like that than I did watching Heart to Heart. Wildly depressing when you're 12 and I don't know, I got. Oh, I think one drove the Merce and the other drove the Ferrari. But I'll figure it out. I could be screwing up with my.
Allison Rosen
Are there even any shows anymore that show Super Glamorous Lifestyles? I feel like that was a thing that came up repeatedly and I don't think there is anymore.
Adam Carolla
Gary. I want to see the opening to Heart to Heart. I mean if you want to talk about. Just couldn't get further away from the Corollas. Dads live in a piece of shit apartment in North Hollywood, Mom's flopping In grandma's house, everything's a mess. Welfare and some food stamps. Everyone again is broken up. A lot of depression floating around. Certainly no money when you see the opening. To Heart To Heart.
Allison Rosen
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Jillian Barbary
Your first great love story is free.
Allison Rosen
When you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com wondery that's audible.com wondery and you picture me now.
Adam Carolla
I couldn't hear the opening to heart to heart because I was eating the whole time. All I would do is go to these people's houses and eat. That was my whole plan. I got a dollar an hour but I ate at least 80 bucks worth of food. I just watch out. Don't picture me at 12 staring at this. We'll get the sound worked up. I think he is driving a Ferrari. Yeah. Oh, maybe.
Bald Bryan
Well, this is how you watched it.
Allison Rosen
No sound.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's right. Just eating. Yeah, she's driving. She's driving the Mercedes. You got to go back. My name is Matt. You gotta go to the back. Max. That's right. He's driving a Dino Ferrari taking off on a private jet. This is my boss, Jonathan Hart, a self made millionaire. He's quite a guy. Picture me thinking of my dad. This is Mrs. A She's beautiful, gorgeous. She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself. This doesn't feel 80s you, does it?
Allison Rosen
No. Very.
Adam Carolla
By the way, my name is Max. I take care of both of them, which ain't easy.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Cuz when they met, it was murder.
Adam Carolla
I love to be a fly on the wall where the coked up guy was pitching this. The you cannot make an opening to an 80s TV show without an explosion at the beginning and without a narrator. Yes, it's true. Oh, they're parasailing. And Mazatlan.
Bald Bryan
Not that this doesn't explain the whole show, but for those of us, those listeners that maybe haven't seen Heart to Heart ever, what is this show about?
Adam Carolla
It's a hot looking rich couple that solves murder.
Bald Bryan
Oh, they solve murder?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Bald Bryan
They didn't, because when they got together it was murder. I'm like, did they try and kill someone?
Adam Carolla
No, what they, what they, what they do is he's. He's a philanthropist. He's one of these guys stuck when.
Bald Bryan
A millionaire meant something.
Adam Carolla
He's made so much self made. He's made so much money, he's bored, doesn't know what to do. He can only drive on Mulholland. And that Dino Ferrari for so long before even that gets tiresome.
Bald Bryan
Sure he's self made. He wasn't paid as a CEO or something.
Adam Carolla
No. No golden parachute for him. And now he's gotta solve crime with his hot wife.
Allison Rosen
She knows how to take care of herself. She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.
Adam Carolla
And enter butler Max. And then at the end, they're gonna pour some champagne and it'll be sort of a little romantic interlude bubble bath, something with a bubble. That meant romantic interlude bubble bath. I feel like the bubble bath has gone the way the dodo. But back then you'd end with the bubble. And then I would just stare at that. When I was 12, eating pie, filling out a fucking can, going, I want to kill myself. I don't know where these people come from. And when you're 12, you do go, I understand this isn't a real couple, but it's gotta be based on a handful of couples.
Jillian Barbary
Oh, yeah.
Allison Rosen
This is how a lot of people live.
Adam Carolla
I'm sure they're up to this activity. Yeah, that's the way I looked at it. Oh, they had a dog too. And I can't remember what the hell the dog's name is. I can picture it, but I can't remember the dog.
Bald Bryan
But did the dog help Solve murders.
Adam Carolla
It did not help get in the way of solving murder.
Bald Bryan
Prevent the solving.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he'd stay home and just use barkbox. Barkbox.com oh man. Always bite off more than you can chew with bark box. The dog's name was Freeway. Oh, they must have found him on the freeway. I love that bark box. Four to six full size products. Innovative durable toys, leashes, treats, more made in the US of a.100%. Elk and caribou and wild boar, other lean wild meats. Keep your dog fit and healthy. And they got three monthly plans all tailored for the size of your mutt. See, Freeway would have been like a medium sized. A medium to large sized dog. This mutt type park box committed to helping homeless dogs. 10% go into the shelters in the US and Canada. So whatever they make 10% right to the shelters. Save 20% with a new subscription by visiting barkbox.com Adam barkbox.com Adam we were talking to Bung Lu Su about Ruby going to town, taking her love to town a couple of days back. You guys remember that?
Bald Bryan
The Kenny Rogers song?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Somebody told me there's a performer, female performer, who wrote the Ruby answer. The rebuttal side of that. Yeah, I didn't know about that.
Bald Bryan
I was tweeted about this.
Adam Carolla
Geraldine Stevens is the Geraldine Stevens wrote from. You know, like she's gonna give you the whole story. But what Ruby had to go through, it's a herstory. Well, it's true. If I wrote a song about Lynette going in town and whoring, she'd write a song about me shutting the lights off and rinsing coffee mugs.
Bald Bryan
All the horrible things you do.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's right. I'm an animal.
Allison Rosen
That would definitely be her song. I painted up my lips and rolled.
Adam Carolla
And curled my ginnit hair. It's the same song, though, which is kind of unfair, but I guess it'd be confusing.
Bald Bryan
She names it Billy.
Jillian Barbary
I don't know how much longer I can stand this jealousy.
Adam Carolla
That's her side.
Jillian Barbary
Oh, Billy.
Adam Carolla
Where's Geraldine now?
Jillian Barbary
Please have some.
Adam Carolla
She with Freeway the dog. Somewhere she might be.
Jillian Barbary
I begged you not to go and fight that crazy Asian woman.
Bald Bryan
Oh, no.
Allison Rosen
Oh, it's his fault.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah, but you believe so strongly in what you were fighting for.
Adam Carolla
Sure. Was it north or South Korea? I can't remember.
Jillian Barbary
Now you've got to sit and stare at shadows on the ground.
Bald Bryan
May have been before there was a North and South.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's right. I'm gonna make sure that didn't happen.
Jillian Barbary
I'VE got to go to town.
Adam Carolla
But what's she doing in town?
Bald Bryan
She's got to.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Barbary
I'd gladly give the world if I could make you understand.
Adam Carolla
She's still alive, by the way, because he couldn't get his gun.
Jillian Barbary
They robbed you of your legs. Don't let them strip you of your pride.
Bald Bryan
It's the last thing to go.
Adam Carolla
Your pride.
Allison Rosen
Yeah.
Jillian Barbary
Oh, Billy.
Adam Carolla
You'Re still a man inside.
Bald Bryan
Just on the outside writing sexual pleasings.
Jillian Barbary
That's right. Don't make me leave this house with you accusing me of wrong. Cause, Billy, it's so hard to go.
Allison Rosen
And leave you here alone. Seem that hard for her?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. That's a lot.
Jillian Barbary
You've given all you've got to give, and now it's up to me.
Adam Carolla
I haven't heard any real excuses.
Allison Rosen
No.
Adam Carolla
Oh, she needs some company. She may need some company. That's how it's got to be. All right. She's horrible.
Allison Rosen
Non apology. For God's sake, trust in me.
Adam Carolla
I wonder if there's a third song written by the Gatlin brothers as the neighbor of the family of Billy and Ruby, who never stopped fucking arguing about her going to town.
Bald Bryan
No, no. The third song. It's Mommy, don't take your love to town. It's from their child who was born while he was overseas.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Bald Bryan
Dick Banks and Mike lynch write that shit up.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Need a third perspective on what's going on here.
Bald Bryan
Mommy, don't take your love to town.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I'll accept the neighbors being bothered by this constant argument and gunplay. Daddy's a good guy. I'm not sure if he can sire a child or not because of his. The dog should ride it. The dog, the dog. The dog should. Oh, freeway. All right, either way, we did not know that song existed. And now we do. REDONDO Beach Performing arts Center Thursday, March 27 Jimmy's going to be there. And Dr. Drew and Kevin Bean and Marc Maron and Andy Summers and all that. Doug Benson. And it's all to fund the legal defense fund that we got to fight off those patent trolls with. So that's good. And fund anything. Patentroll as well. If you want to help us fight the good fight. All right. We want to do a little Mr. Brightside. I think that was our plan. Life got you down can't catch a break Thinking about ending it all. Well, don't let Adam turn your frown upside down. It's time for Mr. Brightside. All right, I'm just gonna start at the top and Work my way down. Start with Brian. 31. Spells his name like a man from Minnesota.
Brian (Subway Manager)
That's right. I gotta say, the I far supersedes the Y. I'm sorry, Brian.
Adam Carolla
The way it's written in the Bible.
Brian (Subway Manager)
That's right. Thank you.
Adam Carolla
Mm. What's going on?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Thanks. Thanks, Brian. Just. I wanted to relay my story to you quick. I'm the manager of a subway. And Adam, I know he's got your various things against subway. The pillowcase full of lettuce, you know, like all those things, all those vices. I work there and I'm closed on weekends because I'm based on the local transit line, the light rail train.
Adam Carolla
So you get no traffic on a weekend?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Precisely, yeah. I mean, single digits, tops. So the company who owns approximately 30 stores, including mine, including the Mall of America, they decided we're going to close them down. And then one day, it's a Sunday morning, I'm sleeping, and I awake to a text from my district manager saying, hey, why was your alarm trip? And I respond, I have no clue. I'm sitting here at home.
Adam Carolla
I mean, the alarm went off at the subway on a Sunday.
Brian (Subway Manager)
It was deactivated. So someone punched in the code. Someone who knew the code, so obviously.
Adam Carolla
So it wasn't tripped? It was deactivated? Yeah.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Tripped. It was, yeah.
Bald Bryan
Could have been some industrial espionage.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Come in and check it out. He says, no, don't worry about it. Long story short, I come in on Monday. My toaster has been replaced. My nice functional new toaster has been replaced with a beat up, shitty, dirty toaster.
Adam Carolla
Listen, I. Again, I don't have a crystal ball, but I do know Apollo Ono's work when I hear it. And that was Apollo Ono. He's a little sneaky guy. Comes in with a headband, slides under the radar, replaces the toaster and moves on.
Bald Bryan
Plus, it's Minnesota, it's probably snowing, and cold skates right in there while holding.
Brian (Subway Manager)
A green screen the entire time.
Adam Carolla
So somebody swapped out your beautiful, shiny toaster.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Functional toaster. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
For crappy old toaster.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Crappy beat up. Non. Cleaned. And here's the real tragedy. I'm not exaggerating. I cleaned, top to bottom, the inside of that toaster three days prior to this event. And that's a real tragedy because that thing took an hour to clean. And so I get this thing that burns the fuck out of everything you put in it, except for the new pizzas, which is a bullshit idea to begin with, but that's another story. Burns everything. And I try to get answers. And I get a bunch of runner cuts.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I mean, it's a story as old as time.
Brian (Subway Manager)
It is.
Adam Carolla
Guy manages subway. Subway near subway. Ironically not open when subway is not running.
Bald Bryan
When actual real subway is not running.
Adam Carolla
Man goes home. Man sleeps on Sunday, alarm gets deactivated, toaster gets replaced. And now such a cliche. It sounds like a cliche.
Allison Rosen
Shakespearean.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I think there was an episode of Heart to Heart about this. Mm.
Brian (Subway Manager)
So I think so. And that's what I attempted to do at one point. The guy was on a vacation and I said, hey, what's going on with this? He says, well, it's our company, not yours, basically. And he said, we'll. We'll eventually get you your toaster back. You just, you just sit back and wait. Once we get some new toasters in the queue here.
Adam Carolla
You don't mess with a man's toaster. I know. Again, another well worn cliche, but it's.
Allison Rosen
A cliche for a reason.
Adam Carolla
It is. That's right. Now, look, the only way to settle this is to put the toaster in the middle of the road. And you go on one side of the main highway and then the other guy go on the other side of the highway and you call the toaster. You see? You know how it responds.
Allison Rosen
Oh, interesting. I was thinking they each pull on the toaster and the one who lets go loves it more.
Adam Carolla
No, no, you can't. You'll break the cord. You'll break the cord. You'll break the cord, Brian. So does the toaster that he replaced it with. Is that not functional?
Brian (Subway Manager)
It's barely functional. It works. But when you pop anything into burns the outside of the bread and it keeps the inside of the meat cold. It's not working.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Is this a toaster oven or like a pop up toaster? I just need to visualize this.
Brian (Subway Manager)
It's both. It's a combination of convection and microwave.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, don't let the guys. Brian, listen to me. Yeah, don't let the guys from Quiznos find out what's going on with this toaster thing. Yeah, those sharks will surface.
Allison Rosen
They've been waiting for jump on this.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Oh, this is the fucking open they opening they've been looking for.
Brian (Subway Manager)
It is. Yeah, well, they're down on their luck right now as it is, so this might be this.
Adam Carolla
This is just what it takes to get them back on top of. Mmm, Toasty.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Screwing with people's toasters.
Adam Carolla
Now, you think this was your manager or their district manager or something like that? Franchise Owner.
Brian (Subway Manager)
It's above me. Yeah. I'm the store manager. Then there's the one level above me, then the other level above them before the owner. So it's, it's in that intermediate.
Adam Carolla
Let me ask you some personal questions, Brian.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Sure.
Adam Carolla
When you're. If you're trying to meet a chick and I know you're spoken for because of your job and where you're calling from and everything, but if you were single and a chick said, what do you do for a living when you met her at a bar, Unemployed versus manage a Subway, Was that a push? What would you lie and say? Unemployed. See if you could get laid?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Well, the truth is a push. But usually I'll interject some sort of euphemism. I'll say, well, I, you know, I'm the manager at a well known food location or something like that.
Adam Carolla
That sounds promising.
Bald Bryan
Popular dining destination.
Adam Carolla
That's right. That's right. All right, so how do we put a happy spin on this toaster debacle?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Well, here's the problem. I just wanted to touch on this briefly. The real shame in this, in all seriousness, is that because I'm a slower store, I only grow 7 to $800 a day at my store during this season because of that.
Adam Carolla
During eating season or.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Well, winter.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I see. I got. I gotcha. It's right below and understood. Understood.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yeah. So the regular people who do come in on a regular basis who want their toasted subs are going to go somewhere else if they think this nice store that has everything going for it now except the toaster. Yeah, well, I'm just going to go somewhere else.
Adam Carolla
This is where the Quizno guy, that's why he's hanging out by the front door with the flyers. Yeah.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Do I need to start wearing a sandwich board or something?
Adam Carolla
I mean, what's ironically right? Listen, Brian, I'm going to put a happy spin on this. Minneapolis is a cool town. The thing about being a Subway franchisee, you're not going to get rich. You're never going to be out of a gig. And this I can't be open on weekends business. This is the greatest thing ever. I just got off the phone. You look at it as a minus. I look at it as a plus. I just got off the phone with my agent.
Jillian Barbary
And.
Adam Carolla
And he's like, the catch a contractor. Guys want to know if they can do 20 more episodes. And I'm like, all right. And then when is that? Oh, July. Whole bunch of Sundays. And I'm like, I wish I was Closed on weekends.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Brian, that's a really good point.
Adam Carolla
You will never miss a Saturday of getting drunk and ice fishing because of your business.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yes, and the season's just about winding down, so might as well use this toaster time to catch up on that.
Adam Carolla
This, by the way, it's time to go cowboy and introduce egg salad. Fuck what the franchise owner thinks. Just go cowboy. You do your own. Ooh.
Bald Bryan
Not like going rogue.
Adam Carolla
You know what I would eat? I'd eat a sandwich, an egg salad sandwich called a deviled sub.
Allison Rosen
That's good.
Adam Carolla
And it was a deviled egg. It was the egg salad. But the deviled egg salad had the little paprika in there and maybe some big bits.
Bald Bryan
Maybe a little bit.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. And some big, big, big bits of yolk. You know, cooked yolk. Sweet, huh?
Bald Bryan
I'm in.
Adam Carolla
All right, Brian. Spelled correctly.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yes.
Adam Carolla
All right. The deviled sub. Brian's deviled sub.
Robert Wagner
Exclusive.
Adam Carolla
Exclusive to this subway. Only open Monday through Friday. But they'll be lining up. They'll be lining up Sunday night, waiting for Monday morning.
Brian (Subway Manager)
They will. They can't get enough.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Allison Rosen
Whole football teams will come in. If this were a sitcom. How could you tell that he was married? Based on his job.
Adam Carolla
We're living in Minnesota managing the Subway. Say, I've been the same chick since high school. That ainthat.
Allison Rosen
I mean, I know what you mean, but why?
Adam Carolla
I don't know why. It's a sensible kind of job. It's sensible. It's secure. It's. I'm not going anywhere. It's. You know, I'm not gonna try. You know what? I'm gonna give this mixed martial arts a shot for a year. And then if that doesn't work out, you know, once I.
Bald Bryan
Subway's a good fallback.
Adam Carolla
I'll go back on. I can always get a job back at the Subway. But first, I do think I'm going into the Octag like this. Just says married. The Minnesota and the Subway both say married. Meet her in high school. I don't know. Brian. Yeah. You're your wife. How long you been married?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Well, to be honest, not married, but we've been together for about seven years. Throw a curveball at you here, but. Yeah, it's a lack of a money thing, which ties in with the Subway thing. So there, you see the whole picture coming into.
Adam Carolla
You guys been together since you're 24?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Well, since I was. Yeah. Well, since she was, like, 19 and I was, like, 25.
Allison Rosen
Good job.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. That's what we're Talking about. How about you guys at Subway get some gloves that aren't made from plastic baggies like you? Just commit to the gloves advertising.
Brian (Subway Manager)
I know what you mean. I know precisely what you mean. You mean they're basically two very thin sheets of the flimsy plastic that are kind of welded together ever so slightly.
Adam Carolla
I'd rather just see the full surgical glove than that.
Brian (Subway Manager)
The nice ones. Yeah. We do have them as backups in case there's someone who's allergic to plastic or whatever.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I gotta meet that piece of work.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Guess this it's size small.
Adam Carolla
So. But aren't the. I feel like those. Those people have latex anyway. All right, we've spoken long enough. Thank you. You feel good? Good. Fantastic. Feels good about himself.
Bald Bryan
Line three a little more challenging.
Adam Carolla
Lee, SD 46. What's up?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Oh, just feeling a little bummed out about parenthood right now. I got three kids. 13 year old with learning disability. Let's call her mentally challenged. I got an 8 year old with only one good eye.
Adam Carolla
And now today I found out my.
David Moxley
2 year old boy can't hear.
Adam Carolla
Can't hear completely.
Brian (Subway Manager)
At all.
Adam Carolla
At all.
Brian (Subway Manager)
At all.
Adam Carolla
And how do they find that out? Took him into the doctor.
Brian (Subway Manager)
They're going to hit him with an.
Adam Carolla
MRI now to try to figure out.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Whether the problem is with the mechanical part of his ear or if the nerves are bad.
Adam Carolla
Hmm. Now the good news is there's all these cochlear implants and all that kind of stuff now. So that kind of stuff technology can sort of take care of. It's not, you know, the tin horn era anymore. Mm. You know what I'm saying? I know. Look, I'm trying to try to walk you backwards out of this. The two year old, they'll probably be able to fix that, all right. And then the two year old will constantly have a great story their whole life. Like I was legally deaf when I was born, you know, as a toddler, but I over. You know, when they're doing the inspirational thing, or when the girlfriend's trying to break up with them, or when they're trying to get oral from the same girl earlier in the week or whatever it is, they'll constantly be able to walk that story out. You know what I mean? I was clinically deaf.
Bald Bryan
That's a good one to lean on.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Now look at me. I'm managing a subway in Minneapolis.
Allison Rosen
Or like when she tries to break up with them. I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Oh, no, it's happening right it's coming back, right?
Brian (Subway Manager)
It'll help get him into a frat.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he can get into Delta Foo so that deaf things, they'll be able to clear that up. But then later on, it's like every single one of those bios, you know, those biographies ago, he was born without the use of it. And then he. They said he would never hear again. And then, pow, there he is. All right, so that's good news. Far as the one eye part. Sammy Davis Jr. Sandy Duncan. Sandy Duncan. Many other Stuart Scott. Stuart Scott. Many American treasures have only the use of one eye and have done very nicely for themselves.
Bald Bryan
That's right.
Adam Carolla
Ironically, I think it helps them focus. Ironically, I do think when you have. Look, when you have a disability where, like you're in an iron lung, that's tough, but when you have a disability, that's just enough to kind of get you to work a little harder than the next person.
Bald Bryan
Robert Wagner and Austin Powers had the.
Adam Carolla
Patch on his eye number two. That's right. Gets to wear the patch. So that part's okay. Now, the mentally challenged part, that's the. Here's the thing. And I don't know if the kid's mental learning disability or whatever, but everybody at some point is going to go through a thing with their kids where their kids scream, you're not the boss of me. I don't have to listen to you. You're not my boss. Get out of here, old man. And then you go, this is my house. And they go, well, this is my room and you got to get out. I hate you.
Allison Rosen
I never asked to be born.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you're so embarrassing. Why couldn't you pull out comb in mom's hair? It's a little too graphic, but you know what I'm saying. The person with the learning disability or the mentally challenged person is rarely ever going to go there. And as I've said many times, when you start a new job, first thing out of your mouth should be, I have a child with a disability. First off, here's what you never, ever get. We're just starting pre production on Road hard and there's 10 people who I've never seen before floating around. And if one of them pulled me aside and said, hey, listen, it's not your problem, but I do have a special needs child at home and it's not going to affect me from doing my job. There are what we call little flare ups and occasions where I will need to go tend to something. I'm not going to yell, fuck you, you're fired. All I'm going to do is go like, oh, oh, oh my God. Fine. No, whatever it takes. And then the next, I'm not gonna say, really. Let me see an mri, CAT scan and some blood work. Let me see exactly what we're dealing with here.
Bald Bryan
I'm gonna need to see a chromosome count.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Are we talking about, you know, doesn't know how all the theirs are spelled correctly? Are we talking full blown hockey helmet with the drip tray strapped on like. What are we talking about here? You're never gonna have that. And then, as I always can never remember the kid's name. My kid's name is like little Rocky.
Bald Bryan
Or something like that.
Adam Carolla
We call him Rocky. He'll never give up.
Bald Bryan
That's right.
Adam Carolla
He'll never give up.
Bald Bryan
He's a fighter.
Adam Carolla
He's a fighter. But anytime you want to catch the opening day of the Dodgers or your local ball, you know, it's A1. It's an afternoon game and it's a weekday getaway day. Anytime you want to go surfing or fishing or skiing or whatever it is, all you do is that little back finger knock on the door. Bert, you got a minute?
Bald Bryan
Yeah, sure. What's up, Terry?
Adam Carolla
Come on in. Yeah. Anyway, I just got a call from Nancy. Rocky's having kind of a little.
Bald Bryan
Rocky?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he's having a hard day. He's having kind of a tough time.
Bald Bryan
I'm really sorry about that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I kinda. God, I kinda. I just gotta.
Bald Bryan
Yeah. Shut the door if you have to.
Adam Carolla
Now I just got to grab my.
Bald Bryan
Mitt, do whatever, whatever. No. Hey, listen, if you even have to ask, you're doing it wrong. Just go.
Adam Carolla
I just want to. I have my wakeboard in here. I just want to grab my wakeboard and my mitt.
Bald Bryan
Is there a wakeboard?
Adam Carolla
She's having a Rocky day. I'm. Pardon the pun.
Bald Bryan
Okay, well.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Bald Bryan
Does the wakeboard bring up some sort of.
Adam Carolla
I just want to grab my sunblock.
Bald Bryan
An odd combination.
Adam Carolla
Is that. Did I leave. Is that tequila or Zima?
Bald Bryan
It's both actually, but I don't know, I just need.
Adam Carolla
You know what? I won't take both. I'll just do the mix and match in the six pack container. I won't take all 12.
Bald Bryan
Does this have something to do with Rocky? Are we still talking?
Adam Carolla
He's having a tough day.
Bald Bryan
Oh, if that. If that's true, you can wait.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Hey.
Robert Wagner
Yeah?
Adam Carolla
Do you have $40?
Bald Bryan
I'm sure I do, yeah. Oh, do you need.
Adam Carolla
I don't know, how much is a Lift pass. You know what? Just give me 40. If it's more, I'll hit you up for more tomorrow. Anyway, Rocky's having. He's not having a good day.
Bald Bryan
This is all related. The tequila and the Zima.
Adam Carolla
It's in the same hemisphere.
Bald Bryan
I don't know why you need the wakeboard.
Adam Carolla
I gotta get going.
Bald Bryan
Why would you need the wakeboard and the lift pass anyway?
Adam Carolla
Rocky's having a hard day. Is that.
Bald Bryan
You mentioned that a number of times.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I didn't. Yeah. I didn't find the leash. Is my leash in my surfboard here or did I ever.
Bald Bryan
Yeah, it's right over.
Adam Carolla
I don't know why I keep all my shit here on this.
Matt Atchety
All right.
Adam Carolla
Tell them I should move it out.
Bald Bryan
You really should. It's not that big of an office.
Adam Carolla
I'll give my love to Rocky.
Bald Bryan
Yep.
Adam Carolla
He's having a hard day.
Bald Bryan
Definitely do that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he's having a bad day.
Bald Bryan
And Nancy, too. Yeah, your wife.
Adam Carolla
Oh, right. Her too. Yeah, that's right. We'll see it. Let me just put my trunks on and we'll just keep talking. Yeah. So that's what you get to do. You never. No one. You can get to leave whenever you want to leave.
Allison Rosen
Slice of life from Bert and Terry.
Adam Carolla
That's right, Bert and Terry.
Bald Bryan
They have office hijink.
Adam Carolla
Having a kid is you're halfway home to being home. I don't play the I got my kids I gotta get a hear card because people laugh at me and whatever it is I have to do, I have to do. But, you know, I feel like. With Lee over here, first off. Your name is Lee. Hey, Lee.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yep.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So you get to play that card with your 13 year old. Who's your. What line of work in? Machinist.
Allison Rosen
Mmm.
Adam Carolla
What do you work on?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Making parts for deer and cat right now.
Adam Carolla
Wow. So you're making like the heavy equipment stuff? Yeah.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Earth moving parts and replacement parts and production parts. Hydraulic sleeves. Manifold.
Adam Carolla
So again, you can use the 13 year old as an excuse to go home anytime you want. That's all I'm saying.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Well, you put it that way.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Thank you, Lee.
Brian (Subway Manager)
All right. Thanks, guys.
Adam Carolla
What's Lee short for, by the way?
Bald Bryan
Stan. Lee.
Adam Carolla
Is it Stanley or Levi or what?
Brian (Subway Manager)
No, just Lee.
Adam Carolla
Just Lee.
Allison Rosen
That's a solid name, all right.
Adam Carolla
It is. It's solid and it's old school. They never screw you over a guy named Lee? Hey, Jason. 30.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yeah.
Bald Bryan
Lee Harvey Oswald.
Adam Carolla
Kind of screwed me over a little bit. Yeah.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Lee Van Cleef.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You're calling from where in Illinois?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Chicago.
Adam Carolla
I wonder why we don't write that on the screen. But anyway, what's up?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Girlfriend was diagnosed with cervical cancer two years ago, and she had treatment, chemo, radiation. So she's been in treatment. Ended a year and a half ago. And the past couple months, she recently had a bad Pap test, and she's having symptoms similar to when this all started about two years ago. So it's just kind of hard not freaking out every day about if it's coming back or even if it doesn't now, will it come back in two years?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, Brian has probably shed a little more light on this than me, considering he's. He's gone through it now. Is you say cervical cancer? Yeah. What's the bad one? Cervical ovarian. Is the bad cervical ovarian?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right, so she's got the better of the two, Right? That's good. She responded to treatment the first time they caught it when she was young, unless she's quite a bit older than you.
Allison Rosen
What stage was it when they caught it, do you know?
Brian (Subway Manager)
It was 1B1. So it spread to the lymph node.
Allison Rosen
That's still early, though, right? They caught it really early.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I tend to. And I wonder if people who have a problem, Brian, you can speak this. Have a problem early on with something physical. So it kind of gets them into the system, and then you're getting in there and you're doing blood work and doing all that stuff and checking in with your doctor all the time versus everybody I know hasn't seen a doctor in 20 years. And then whenever it is, something goes wrong, it'll just be a complete surprise to them because they're not getting blood worked up and they're not getting, you know, felt up and goosed and everything else by the doctor all the time who's looking for something else or is focusing on another problem. But still, I'm guessing blood work's blood work.
Bald Bryan
Well, it depends on what they're looking for, but yes, blood work can give you a good overall picture of your general health.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Bald Bryan
So triglycerides and blood pressure.
Adam Carolla
A, they caught it early. B, it responded to something. C, it's not the scarier of the two forms of that cancer. And also now they've been monitoring it very closely, I'm guessing. Right?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yeah, for sure.
Adam Carolla
And where's she at mentally with all this stuff?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Struggling. It's tough.
Adam Carolla
Where is she able to work? Is she able to, you know, go about her life?
Brian (Subway Manager)
She is. She's actually a freelance writer and that's been a great thing. So she can stay at home, which maybe isn't a good thing all the time, but she's able to make money.
Adam Carolla
So I also feel like these are the. Well, Brian knows this, but these are. As a writer, when you get struck with something like this, this is what you write about. I mean, this is a book.
Robert Wagner
Exactly.
Adam Carolla
I feel like her writing a book about this would be pretty cathartic.
Bald Bryan
Or at least a column or something. I mean, there's so many people. Resources out there. People who want resources are looking for a voice. I mean, she could be really helpful to other people with cervical cancer.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Bald Bryan
And also, Jason, specifically as it pertains to her symptoms. You know, I didn't tell anybody this because it turned out to be nothing, but about a year after I got treatment, I started to feel symptoms again. And they weren't as acute, but they were weird things. Like a little bit of just weird things. And I was like, I got headaches once in a while and I was like, oh, shit. Like, you know, I was like, is it coming back? Whatever. And it turned out to be nothing. My scans were fine. It went away. It was just whatever it was, allergies or whatever. But she is more acute to that or more aware of that and more sensitive to it. So she may be feeling things that she's interpreting as. Oh, and they may be. Oh, but they might also be just some things. Cramps or whatever. I mean, it could be whatever you broads are suffering from these days.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. Loving too much. Like me. What I suffer from. Well, Jason, this is obviously a tough one, but I feel pretty good about her chances. And she's got you and you've got her, and I just. I think it's an opportunity for you guys to become closer and grow. And also an opportunity, I guess, to take yourself out of the day to day grind and not worry about all the little shit that couples normally fight about, about what movie to see and where to eat and sort of focus on a bigger, more important picture. And when she comes out the other side of this, which I think she will, I think it'll be an experience that ended up bonding, you guys. And if the worst happens and she perishes, that is a pussy train for you for the rest of your life.
Bald Bryan
Such good advice.
Adam Carolla
Well, I mean, look, I gotta focus on both ends here. You know what I mean? That thing where, you know, I was with, you know, I was holding her hand at the very end and all that kind of stuff. The other chicks just fucking melt.
Bald Bryan
Panty dropper.
Adam Carolla
It's like a puppy pulling their panties down. St Bernard puppy clawing at their panties.
Bald Bryan
It's all clumsy, but it still wants to sit up.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right, Jason. So it's gonna, you know, you're gonna be a winner. Anyway. Anyway, slices. Well, listen, that's what Mr. Brightside does, you know, puts a happy spin on things. All right, one more. Robert Wagner's out there. We're gonna bring him in a second. George, 28, Jacksonville, Adam.
Brian (Subway Manager)
What's going on?
Adam Carolla
What's going on, man?
Brian (Subway Manager)
How's it going? I need some. Some of your Mr. Bright side today. I'm kind of feeling it. So I have to say, if Subway started getting deviled egg subs, I would definitely be there.
Adam Carolla
I'd be down with that too.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yeah, I love that, actually. So anyhow, I try to make it quick. I know you're a busy man. I love the show. Love all you guys. So basically had a best friend of 10 years, and I lived several miles away, about 500 miles away in Florida. And she was. We got engaged, try to do the long distance thing. And I was much more established down south. She started developing some health issues, which actually was just her taking diet pills. And I was traveling quite frequently to be with her, spend time in the hospital. And I decided, you know what? I'm gonna do the right thing and I'm gonna pick up everything and move. Because she didn't want to move away from her family.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, sounds a little nutty, but go ahead, George.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yeah, it was. It was very nutty. Not a little nutty. So I figured, you know what? She's my best friend. I'm a man, I can do it. I worked hard. I developed a business that I spent eight years working hard. I gave that up. I gave up my home, I gave up my friends, gave up everything to basically just move up here and be with her. So a couple months later, starting noticing some things. Texting at 2:30 in the morning in the bathroom, all kinds of shady business and all this stuff. And two days after Christmas, which was a very short time after removing here and getting engaged, she decides to drop the bomb that she's been cheating on me with a cop and was leaving me for the cop. And she basically only stayed with me through Christmas. The way to get her gifts.
Adam Carolla
I asked you guys a question, don't you If I said, who's up to more nefarious behavior or sort of amoral behavior on their off hours, and I gave you Cop, computer technician, baker and candlestick maker wouldn't cop just win by landslide?
Allison Rosen
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Why is it I know what it is? It's that very close connection. It's just crime. And you're on one side of it or the other, but you're attracted to it where most people don't want to be involved with any part of it. I don't want to be a perp. I don't want to take down a perp. If you want to take down a perp, you got a lot more perp juice in you. Perp juice. Point is, I just feel like every story about somebody cheating on somebody or doing a this or doing a that or shaking someone down, it's all sort of ex cop, cop, whatever.
Bald Bryan
It's all in that world.
Adam Carolla
The guy from Chicago. Wives keep drowning in the bathtub over and over again. George. All right, here's the good news. She's nuts. She's always been nuts. Yes. Don't do this. Do not do this thing where you go, I gave up my life. You're 29. You got plenty of your life. And if those friends you left or that business or that business you left, whatever it is, if they were worth a damn or you're good at it, then they'll be waiting for you when you return. Did you have any kids with this crazy person? No. Oh, look, most people call and tell this story, say they had a three year old and a newborn, and then you're completely fucked because you have crazy mama having sex with a cop and texting the bathroom and taking the diet pills. You got her full time forever. That's it. I mean, could you guys imagine a worse sentence in life than crazy mama? Just full time, just you shit out a couple of kids with crazy mama. She's having sex with kind of the wrong guys, she's making a lot of bad decisions. There's a little substance abuse sprinkled in there. She's bringing some of these dudes home.
Allison Rosen
You have to deal with that for the rest of your life.
Adam Carolla
The courts sort of side with her because she's the mama. And for the rest of your fucking life, you know, you become like a De niro in casino.
Brian (Subway Manager)
How should I know?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, crazy fucking mama. I mean, could you imagine that as it didn't matter if you remarried, didn't matter where you moved, didn't matter. But always be crazy mama. Always waiting for that phone call at 3:00am yeah. Oh, guess who got another DUI?
Bald Bryan
No, it's worse than that. Buddies always get in trouble. You have to bail him out.
Adam Carolla
It's your mom and it's the parent of your children and she's living with that shit.
Bald Bryan
Oh, oh, not your mom.
Adam Carolla
I'm saying crazy mama to the kids. He didn't have kids with this chick. Bullet dodged. Yeah, he gave him a break completely. I hear so many stories where the kids are left behind and you know, she's nuts and she's raising them and then like I said, she's bringing the crazy duty cop back. And he's doing what with the daughter? Trying to fill them up with burp juice. No can do. Even the water soluble stuff is no.
Bald Bryan
Good mixed up in that.
Adam Carolla
Let's bring it home. Let's get out of here. Could have never seen better. Good. Thank you, Mr. Brightside. Ah, here's something I feel good about. STP Complete Fuel System Cleaner. You know, I love cars, I love fuel and I love complete fleet fuel Cleaner. Cleans your entire system. Helps clean the injectors, carburetors. Can't have both. You have one or the other intake valves, combustion chambers, cylinder heads, piston tops. Ah, you know, the gas out here, it's a little rough. And when I say out here, I mean wherever you are. That's right. This helps clean up the system, baby. Saves gas, restores lost power, helps acceleration reduced to hard starts. And engine hesitation stops the knocking and the pinging, baby. A pinging and a knocking. A knocking and a pinging. And it's compatible with modern engines. So even if you have direct injection or turbocharger, whatever this car, you like your car, treat it with a nice shot of stp. Complete Fuel System Cleaner. Get some. Now you can get it. Walmart AutoZone. Advanced Auto Parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Help keep your engine running at its optimal efficiency, baby. STP. Okay, quick break. Robert Wagner. Mr. Robert Wagner in studio next. Robert Wagner in studio. I really appreciated him meeting him. Months back they helped us out with this Newman documentary. I told him off the air that it's really one of the best projects I've been involved in and his contributions could not be paralleled. So thank you so much.
Robert Wagner
Well, it was very kind of you to ask me to be a part of that because, you know, I cared so much for Paul. You know, he was a wonderful man. And, you know, we also started driving at the same time.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, the story is they did a movie called Winning. I believe it was 1968 and they both went to the Bob Bonduran school of racing. Paul and Robert did. And Bob put them through the racing school and Then when they made the movie, they had to race. Drive the race cars?
Robert Wagner
Yeah, some of them with the camera mounted on it, which was an interesting experience, I can tell you.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, cameras weren't that small back then.
Robert Wagner
No, they were. Yes, they weren't. But you had to turn them all on and get them rolling and everything. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was really something.
Adam Carolla
Mr. Where did you guys go when you shot that film?
Robert Wagner
Elkhart Lake in Wisconsin was one of the tracks, and Indianapolis, obviously. And then we, you know, Pomona was open then, and that's where we drove a lot. You know, it took us about four months to really get it down so we could drive.
Adam Carolla
And you won. I'm reading here that you were president of your senior class in Santa Monica High. So are you from out here?
Robert Wagner
Yes, I went to I was brought up in California. I was born in Michigan, but I was brought up here.
Adam Carolla
Not many people. I mean, everyone comes out here to act or to be a whatever, but you were already out here, essentially.
Robert Wagner
But I was.
Adam Carolla
Here was it for you. What, what were you thinking about when you were running Santa Monica High with an iron fist in 1949? What were you thinking about doing for a living?
Robert Wagner
I was thinking of getting out of school. That's what I was really thinking about. And I always, you know, Adam, I always wanted to be in the movies. I'd gone to school with a lot of the children of producers and actors and directors, and I was kind of on the periphery of it. And I love movies. From the first time I saw them, I always wanted to be an actor. So I started to pursue that when I got out of high school. I started working as an extra for about a year, and then I got under contract to Fox when I was 18 years old.
Adam Carolla
Wow. By the way, the book, you Must Remember this, Life and Style in Hollywood's Golden Age, available on Amazon. You know what to do. Go to mcroll.com and click through Amazon and, and get Robert's book, if you would. And by the way, the website, robert-wagner-com so back then and when did you meet Newman? I know I asked you, but I can't recall when. Did you meet him or had you met him before you guys shot Winning together?
Robert Wagner
Oh, I had known Paul before that. We had all had children together and we ran around and sort of the same group. And my late wife Natalie did a picture with him very early on in his career at Warner Brothers. And I had known Paul through John Foreman, who was a producer and who produced Winning. And we were always Friends, you know, I just thought the world and all of Paul Newman. He was one of the best guys I ever knew.
Adam Carolla
So you get on contract at Fox, which is pretty exciting for an 18 year old, right?
Robert Wagner
Yes, sir.
Adam Carolla
Do you remember what the contract was for though? How much it was for just so we can have a laugh about it?
Robert Wagner
Well, you know, at that time it was a lot of money to me it was 75 bucks a week. Take home 55. But you know, 75 bucks was $75 in those days and it was great for me.
Adam Carolla
And when you're on contract like that, what would be like a daily schedule.
Robert Wagner
For you, what kind of anything you wanted, and also whatever they wanted. We would go on tours with movies, we'd go out and do personal appearances, work with vocal coaches, take fencing lessons, observe in acting classes and anything. We had everything at our fingertips and.
Adam Carolla
It'S just you and a bunch of good looking people hanging out all day.
Robert Wagner
Well, yeah, there were a lot of them.
Adam Carolla
That's nice.
Robert Wagner
Yeah, well, there were a lot of them. You know, I mean, this wasn't the only contract for young studio for young contract players.
Adam Carolla
Did you ever get one of those setup things where like there's the lesbian actress but they can't let anyone know and she needs a dashing guy to walk her down the red carpet so the paparazzi doesn't get suspicious?
Robert Wagner
You know, I never thought about that, but that's not a bad idea. I. No, I was an escort for many young starlets to publicize the movies. Yeah. I didn't know whether they were lesbians or not.
Adam Carolla
Let's just assume they were.
Robert Wagner
But it was an exciting time.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I mean, is it.
Robert Wagner
I was ready to escort any of those ladies. I want you to know that.
Adam Carolla
I can imagine because it's just so. It's a weird time. We're in now in that I went last night to watch Kevin Costner's film. Not the new film where he's the GM of the Browns or whatever it is, but it's an independent film, nice, you know, medium, medium. Nice budget and a real nice piece. And afterward was talking to Costner about it and I said, you know, what do you think? And he was like, yeah, I don't know. I mean, we're going to try to do this and we're going to try to do that. And it's like, well, it's a really good movie. And he's like, yeah, well, you know, we'll see what any. This whole, you know, this is Kevin Costner with his Oscars saying, with a good movie, saying, hope somebody, something, maybe Xbox will pick it up or something. And it's like it's a whole new world we're living in.
Robert Wagner
Yes, it is. And he's right. You don't know. You don't know what's going to happen because you know, an exhibitor can pick it up and they can promote it. The weather's good, the timing is right, there's not a lot of other pictures against him. And all of a sudden can roll out and be a very successful movie.
Adam Carolla
Back in the day, when they came out with a movie, it was coming out, it was being distributed, it was gonna be on 3000 screens or 2000 or whatever it was, but it was gonna come out.
Robert Wagner
And they also owned the theaters.
Adam Carolla
Oh, right.
Robert Wagner
At one time. So that was a. They had an idea of where it was gonna go. Today it's a real crap shoot. I mean, it's a crap shoot anyway. Nobody knows what's going to be a hit.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Robert Wagner
If they did, we'd only make hits.
Adam Carolla
Right. And so for you, you starting off as a contract player, what's the first big break for you?
Robert Wagner
The first big break for me was a film called With a Song in My Heart, which was the Jane Froman story. And Susan Hayward played the character. It was directed by Walter Language and I played a shell shocked soldier with her. And she sang a couple of songs to me and I broke down and the audience knew that I could ever. She sang I'll Walk Alone to me, a very good song, very famous song. And the audience knew that I didn't have a chance to go on very much further in my life. And she brought me to tears and. And the people walked out of the audience. The audience walked out and they said, who was that guy? Who was that guy that played the soldier?
Adam Carolla
And that was the first big break.
Robert Wagner
That was the big one. Yeah, that was the big break. That pushed me into being, you know, the young people all over America picked up on me, which was great. And I became a Bobby Sox idol along with Rock Hudson, Dwight Curtis and myself.
Adam Carolla
You'll get one of those gals to walk Rock down the red carpet and God, that had to be bizarre for Rock Hudson. Just like, yeah, yeah, it's no time to get married. So must have been great being a bobby socks idol in 1950s. What year are we talking about, Adam?
Robert Wagner
It was sensational.
Adam Carolla
It was sensational because, you know, you think about, I say now all the time, you know, being a celebrity is fine, but it's also a hassle. And then you turn on TMZ and there's a picture you pick in your nose or God forbid, you take your family to Maui on a vacation, and there's a picture, your flabby ass and it's circled and, you know, they've highlighted the dimples and all that kind of stuff. And back then, it was all the plus with not a whole lot of the downside. I mean, nowadays, like I said, celebrity's good. You get paid and everything, but there's a certain amount of hassle to it that never. I didn't. Didn't, and it didn't, you know, you just couldn't get away with what you got away with back in the day. Is that correct?
Robert Wagner
Well, the problem is now, don't forget, there's somebody paying for that shot of the dimples on your ass, you know, and the guy. If the guy can get the shot, he's going to get some money.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Robert Wagner
When we started off, and I started off, we were protected. The studio protected us. The whole publicity department protected you. Today, there's no protection. You're total fair game. And everybody's got a camera, everybody's got a telephone, everybody's got a radio. And, you know, they grab those shots and they can make your. And they. Also, the. The whole press situation now is very difficult.
Adam Carolla
Well, the part where you remember being young, having a lot of testosterone coursing through your veins, and some guy get in your face and try to antagonize you, and you'd push him or whatever. Now there's a million shots of that.
Robert Wagner
Yeah. And also they can do something. They'll take illegal action against you. In those days if you push somebody out of the way. They weren't.
Adam Carolla
So. Yeah.
Robert Wagner
Ready to take on a case with you and take you to court and doing all that because they get the publicity out of it, too.
Adam Carolla
Right. So you're head of the Bobby Shocks committee. You're doing great. You got all the beautiful ladies at your beck and come.
Robert Wagner
I'm walking down the aisle. I'm walking down the aisle with the.
Adam Carolla
Girls, escorting them down that red carpet. And what next? When do you. Who are you hanging out with at the time? Are you hanging. Are there other. Is there a young, I don't know, James Dean in that group or whoever?
Robert Wagner
Yeah, there was. Yeah. Jimmy Dean came on the scene, then Marlon came on the scene. You know, Marlon changed acting. The whole. And Jimmy, they changed the whole approach to acting in those days. And what was next was, did you.
Adam Carolla
Guys know what was going on with the change in acting back then? I mean, did.
Robert Wagner
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we were aware of that.
Adam Carolla
Sure.
Robert Wagner
Television was coming on in New York. You know, they're making those great television shows, you know, But.
Adam Carolla
But before. I don't want to put words. Your mouth, but what I'm saying is, is acting. Was acting back then, like. Like it is now in Mexico, right, Where you go, wow, those people are really acting. And then when Marlon Brando came along, it was like, oh, no, he's. This is. This is a much more organic. This is not acting. This is.
Allison Rosen
Do you mean, like a shift from stage acting to.
Robert Wagner
I don't think it's a shift from stage acting.
Allison Rosen
What is it?
Adam Carolla
What? What? I mean. I mean, back. You could see people acting in these old movies, like, hey, listen to me right now, Paul. And then everyone talk real fast, and. Okay. And they're very mannered. And now. Then it became this organic thing.
Robert Wagner
Yeah, but not only in the movies. I mean, not. Not only acting in the movies. Acting on the stage, too. Acting was very broad. Very, very broad. And then it became, as you said, more organic. Organic. And Marlon was absolutely. He was wonderful at that.
Adam Carolla
But you felt that shift.
Robert Wagner
Oh, absolutely, absolutely. And it was a shift for the better, too.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right, now let's just talk heart to heart for the next hour or so. Love that show.
Robert Wagner
Thank you.
Adam Carolla
Oh, my God. Was that show on Friday nights or Saturday nights? It was a babysit night for me, so I'm trying to remember.
Robert Wagner
It varied. I thought it was Thursday night. I thought Thursday night was the big night.
Adam Carolla
Well, maybe they stepped out on Thursday night, and I went over there to cover on occasion.
Robert Wagner
Friday night is babysitting night, isn't it?
Adam Carolla
It was. For me, it was Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Vegas, heart to heart. I guess that would be on a Thursday night. And maybe a little Dukes of Hazzard woven in there just to round out my education.
Bald Bryan
All the classics.
Brian (Subway Manager)
All the.
Adam Carolla
All the classics, yeah. So what's the book about.
Robert Wagner
Adam? I came up in the golden era of Hollywood. I just caught the last of it, just the last part of it. I have many young people ask me what it was like, what was that time like? What was the studio system like? What was that whole era about? And so I had written another book called Pieces of my Heart with Scott Iman, who co authored this one with me. And we started to look into it, and as I started to look into it, to the places I'd been, and it was the best time of my life. And When I started to go back to revisit was gone. It was all gone. You know, the houses, the people. Wonderful people that I was fortunate enough to meet who made a lot of the golden era possible. They were gone. Haberdashers were gone. Restaurants, studios had changed. And so that's what it's about. That's why I called it. You must remember this because it's.
Adam Carolla
If you were to pick a year where you felt like Hollywood was at its zenith and it couldn't have been a better time to be a young man living in Hollywood and living in California, what. What year do you think that would have been?
Robert Wagner
Well, I think the golden era. The golden era was 38, 39. You know, I wasn't there then. I mean, I was here, but I wasn't in the picture business, and I was just a kid. I would think for me, you know, the 60s were pretty exciting because people were still gambling on making motion pictures, and they were wonderful producers, and that was a great time. But this period is before then. This period is before then.
Adam Carolla
Is there anybody you stumbled across in your travels who ended up being huge household names, megastars, producers, directors, whatever, who at the time were, you know, cleaning your pool or you didn't think much of or any of those good. This guy used to get me coffee on the set, that kind of stuff?
Robert Wagner
Well, you know, so many people came out of that, out of that era. I happened to work for one of them, Blake Edwards. I mean, you know, he was kicking around as an actor, and, you know, we were all doing, you know, odd jobs and stuff like that. But, you know, Blake was a tremendous producer and writer. Yeah, I did some pictures with him.
Adam Carolla
Mr. I saw 10 when I was in high school. It was the greatest 90 minutes of my life.
Robert Wagner
Yeah, that was a good movie. Well, I did the Pink Panther with him, and that was so exciting. We were great friends, and I did a couple other things with him, and he came out of that era. You know, it's just so different now. You know, it's a different time. There's a lot of conglomerates are involved in it, and, you know, it's become a big, big, big, big business.
Adam Carolla
How different is the city versus what it was?
Robert Wagner
Well, obviously, it's bigger, you know, so the intimacy of Hollywood and the relationships that went on when I started are much different. I don't think that that, you know, happens as much as it, as it used to. And also people are dispersed so much. You know, a lot of people don't live here all the time. And when I started off, you know, the business was in Hollywood. It was Hollywood. It was here.
Adam Carolla
Right now. Everyone goes somewhere else to make a film.
Robert Wagner
Yeah, well, you know, travel has become very easy, and you can go to locations and the value of seeing the real location, location is very important. Sometimes, you know, before they used to listen when they started it, you know, DeMille came here and they built the sets and they went out and shot all the exteriors around here. But when they came onto the sets, they'd build a western street or the New York street or a castle and, you know, they would do all of that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I wonder.
Robert Wagner
That doesn't happen anymore.
Adam Carolla
No, but it is weird when you walk onto those lots like Fox and you see the New York street and you see the Boston street or the Miami street. It is weird. But I guess, yeah, they're not using them anymore. Robert, we're going to do a little bit of news, so if you don't mind, just hang out.
Robert Wagner
I would be very happy to say.
Adam Carolla
Comment on anything you may hear. First, one of our fine sponsors. Score big, baby. Oh, spring is here. That means playoffs, hockey, basketball, baseball, just around the corner. You got to lock in those tickets@scorebig.com guaranteed to save you money. Here's how they work. They get the tickets, they gobble up those tickets. They save you money over box office, and they pass it along. Every ticket is below full price. Like I said, NBA, NHL, whatever you like. Baseball is coming up. Disney, Harlem, Globetrotters, Take the kids. Score big. Adam. Exclusive for my listeners. Go to scorebig.com, click on the radio button, enter Adam. They'll guarantee you to save at least 30 bucks on your first purchase. Again, click on the radio button and enter Adam. When you go to scorebig.com you'll save 30 bucks on your first purchase. All right, Allison Rosen, let's do some news. The news with Allison Rosenberg. Her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison. Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with Zippy C. It's Allison. Allison.
Allison Rosen
All right, big news, Adam. The NFL competition committee held a conference call Wednesday in advance of next week's annual league meeting. And Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots proposed extend the goalposts five feet higher to help determine whether a field goal is good or not. You have to explain to Robert that this is an issue close to your heart.
Adam Carolla
First off, Gary gave a look. So is it 5 yards or is it 5ft is the question. But.
Allison Rosen
Well, everything I've read says five feet.
Adam Carolla
That's all it's going to take. And drive me insane that these sidewinding kickers from Europe are, by the way, a five. 48 yards out and that ball sails over the top of the upright. These guys have way too much leg. The first Monday night game of the year this year. But I've been complaining about this for almost a decade. I'm tired of seeing the ball shortchange yourself 20 years tired of seeing the ball go over the top of the upright and then have the elderly gentleman with the cataracts look up into the sky and see whether the ball was fair or foul. In other words, there's no way of really determining where that thing would have hit the post and caromed in or gone out. The only way to do it would be to extend the upright. It is 8 bucks worth of thin wall steel. We can watch one go over the top now and it can determine the outcome of a game. Why wouldn't you do this? And how many times does it have to happen? And I've been screaming about this for years.
Bald Bryan
This will be the last we ever hear of it.
Adam Carolla
Well, let it be known that anything I complain about will come to fruition at some point. I may not be here to experience it, but that's what's going to happen.
Bald Bryan
Could you complain about me being cancer free?
Adam Carolla
Totally, yes.
Bald Bryan
Like over and over again.
Adam Carolla
I will look at that for the right price. So if they just extended the post just a couple of inches, it would have hit it.
Allison Rosen
So you're given credit in this article. Here AM I on NFL.com, it says the idea is a long time coming. Adam Carolla has been pushing it on our air for years and it makes too much sense not to happen.
Adam Carolla
This is going to be great for my kids because this will be what they call a legacy. You have winning and heart to heart. My kids will be sitting there going, see that goalpost? Yeah. Look a little longer than it looked before. No, not really. Well, let me tell you. What. What did you say? Anyway, my dad, before he drank himself to death, he had a quest. That quest was to extend that Same post another 4-6ft I hope that a.
Bald Bryan
Ball that just makes it inside now. Oh, and he got it by a Corolla.
Adam Carolla
That'd be awesome. Good.
Allison Rosen
At the end of the article, the writer, Greg Rosenthal, says, we are supposed to be unbiased, but raising the goalposts has long been a passion project. Do the right thing. NFL Owners and end the insanity.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, look, it's one of these things where the kicker used to be a lineman with a special shoe. He'd take three steps backward and he'd be lucky to put it in from 34 yards out. And now you got Sebastian genachowski. And from 50 yards out, it's going over the net in the back of the back of the goal post. So these guys have way too much leg. We need to figure this out. And somebody's going to do it. And they've done it.
Allison Rosen
So there are 13 new rule proposals, seven new bylaw proposals, and one proposed resolution. I don't know how all this works. How much of this stuff gets changed.
Adam Carolla
This one is going to get changed if I have to do it myself. And I don't know what the other ones are.
Bald Bryan
It goes committee, and they choose usually one or two.
Adam Carolla
One of the other ones, I said years ago, is. I said, look, when the game is tied and they go into sudden death, which are now changing to sudden victory, because I don't like that idea. One team has to die. Better just have one team win. That'd be a little more satisfying. I said, look, it's no fair that just because you win a coin toss, you can kick a field goal and end the game. Especially again, a 55 yarder in a dome. Unfair. I said, you should be able to kick a field goal. If you kick a field goal, the other team should get a chance at the ball. No, they changed that one, too.
Bald Bryan
Good rule.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I'm a soothsayer, Mr. Wagner.
Robert Wagner
I like your style.
Adam Carolla
Thank you. I got a crystal ball inside a crystal ball that has a crushed crystal ball in it as well. It's a lot of crystal ball.
Allison Rosen
And where is this pinned?
Bald Bryan
A picture right there.
Adam Carolla
If I told you, go after it, I can't tell you.
Allison Rosen
Smart. So, day 12. Rolling around with no answers as to where the missing Malaysian jet is.
Adam Carolla
What the hell?
Allison Rosen
And now the families of the people who are missing are in the news. They've been sort of shielded. They've been kept out of the way.
Adam Carolla
What's going on?
Allison Rosen
Cameras and whatnot. But three women, relatives of the passengers, staged a protest at the Kuala Lumpur Hotel where the world press is staying. But their efforts were cut short by security guards who removed them through a crush of reporters, dragging one as she screamed. I don't care what your government did. I just want my son back.
Adam Carolla
What is. All right. First off, I imagine that somewhere in the search, they're gonna find Amelia Earhart's Plane. And it'd be funny if they went, all right, good news and bad news. We've not found the 777 yet. We did find Amelia Earhart's plane and the Lindbergh baby. Yes.
Bald Bryan
So that's good.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And. And Hoffa, by the way, Amelia is probably one you would have escorted down. The. Could have escorted her down the red carpet, but they're gonna find a lot of other cool shit along the way. Are they searching in the ocean? I know. I told you, my publicist from Spike said that she thinks the plane was landed. And then somebody tweeted me that that's not such a kooky idea, that she thinks the guy went under the radar. Now, but where would you land a plane? Is the government in on this? What's the suggestion?
Allison Rosen
There's so much. So much. Every day there are new theories about it. I know that one of the pilots had a flight simulator in his house. So they're trying to get. They download the information from that.
Adam Carolla
Can I say this without sounding like an ugly American? This is the problem with the kook. Okay, this is the problem with the kooky countries. We don't know if a plane went down or you did something kooky and are not telling us. You see what I'm saying?
Allison Rosen
That's the thing.
Adam Carolla
When this shit comes out of Canada, nobody goes, wait a minute. You ever dealt with those Canadians and you know they're stashing that plane somewhere. You know, they know that. They're not. It's not Canada. Plane went down. We was. We go look for it. This, the kooky country thing, where you got to go, huh? That plane really go down to the ocean, or is it some guy's garage?
Bald Bryan
It invites conspiracy theorists.
Adam Carolla
Yes, Yes. I don't know.
Allison Rosen
Right? And that's the suggestion that the Malaysian government, at least from the families, that the Malaysian government is lying. What we need to quote. What we need to know is the truth to know where the plane is. We have had enough. Malaysian government are liars, because aren't we.
Adam Carolla
Just out with the Malaysian Coast Guard or something, just looking for wreckage? I mean, just planes flying around in.
Allison Rosen
Slow circles or drones, geocachers with their metal detectors.
Adam Carolla
Now. Yeah. Where's the drones get the drones? Out there. Same. Flying a slow circle, looking for stuff that floats.
Bald Bryan
That's what they do.
Adam Carolla
If a plane like that hits the water, it's got to break up and.
Bald Bryan
Yeah, where's the wreckage?
Adam Carolla
And when it breaks up, there's got to be a bunch of junk A bunch of tennis shoes and flip flops and stuff that float to the top.
Bald Bryan
Every seat is a flotation device.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Bald Bryan
Where's one of those?
Allison Rosen
That every bit of the earth is. You know there's surveillance on.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
And yet when someone goes missing or when something goes missing, it seems to take an awful long time to find them, if they ever find them. So maybe, maybe there are these pockets that are dark. Dark pockets.
Adam Carolla
Worst name for pastry treat ever. Are those toaster treats? Those dark pockets?
Bald Bryan
Well, we tried.
Adam Carolla
Not good. Yeah. Towering Inferno. Robert Wagner almost said reverber. Robert Wagner was in. Yeah, I remember that movie. I like that movie. That's when they used to have star studded affairs posters. It's interesting when you see the poster. I was just looking at it. You see, I think Steve McQueen gets first billing but Paul Newman gets higher billing. Like his. His box. There was a negotiation there. It's an interesting thing.
Matt Atchety
Interesting.
Adam Carolla
If you see the.
Bald Bryan
I'm sure that was negotiated heavily amongst their agents.
Adam Carolla
Everybody. If you see everyone who's in Towering Inferno. If you see the poster.
Allison Rosen
Oh, right.
Adam Carolla
You see it's. Steve McQueen's name is first but Paul Newman's is higher. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. What is it? In First Inferno, that was a tower. Irwin Allen, baby. Used to do all those earthquake moves. All that.
Robert Wagner
I was in that movie.
Adam Carolla
That's what I'm bringing it up. Did he do the Poseidon Adventure? Am I making that up?
Robert Wagner
Yeah, he did.
Adam Carolla
I love that movie.
Robert Wagner
He was a wonderful producer.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Robert Wagner
And that.
Adam Carolla
When did he pass away?
Robert Wagner
About 10 years ago.
Adam Carolla
He was the king of all those big.
Robert Wagner
Yeah, he was.
Adam Carolla
Movies back then, right?
Robert Wagner
Yes, he was. And he was a very good producer and he knew everybody, knew all the crew by their names and he was really a hands on guy.
Adam Carolla
I think OJ Was in that movie.
Robert Wagner
He was.
Bald Bryan
He was.
Adam Carolla
That's an eclectic cast there.
Bald Bryan
Sign Adventure. Really good too.
Adam Carolla
No. Yeah. Can't go wrong with Gene Hackman yelling at God hanging on that valve. Ernest War guy. Yeah. Awesome.
Allison Rosen
Here's some hard news because you were talking about squirrels recently and wondering why they have to be so squirrely because what have we ever done to them?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
I came across a story today of a teenager who has a baby squirrel that she's bonded with and it lives in her hair. We have a photo. See, look, a baby squirrel. Her name, she's 16 years old. Her name's Abby Putterell. She adopted Hammy, a mopane squirrel two months ago after the animal was found injured and Abandoned at Zimbabwe's Boat Valley Vaughan Wildlife Sanctuary, which is owned by her parents. And except for when she showers and sleeps, the pair are inseparable.
Adam Carolla
And what about when she dates?
Allison Rosen
I'm gonna guess that she doesn't do that with a squirrel in her hair.
Adam Carolla
I was. Okay, because I'm gonna say, like, it's gonna sound weird when you're talking to the dude. Things were going good. I got her pants off. Then I was attacked by her squirrel. You mean her.
Bald Bryan
Totally had that happen before, dude.
Adam Carolla
No, no, this was a squirrel.
Bald Bryan
Tell me about it.
Adam Carolla
You don't get it.
Bald Bryan
No, I get it.
Adam Carolla
No, no, I'm not talking about. I'm talking about an actual squirrel. She carries a squirrel with her.
Bald Bryan
Dude, your metaphors are mixing me up.
Adam Carolla
Dude, let me show you my penis. It'll never be right again. And I'll never be right. Emotionally, I'll be hesitant to have sex ever again. Yeah, because a squirrel, that is one of the last animals you want around your genitalia, Robert. Am I right?
Robert Wagner
That would be a little squirrely.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Wolverine, badger and squirrel. Those are mongoose. Those are the four.
Allison Rosen
Where does hummingbird fit?
Adam Carolla
Hummingbird's fine for scale.
Bald Bryan
Porcupines finds itself.
Adam Carolla
What do you mean?
Allison Rosen
What is this hawk doing?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's a vulture. Nine foot winx, man. What are you talking about?
Bald Bryan
Oh, those pterodactyl.
Adam Carolla
You ever seen a turkey vulture? This one's a little small.
Allison Rosen
Yeah, the LAPD is getting a Lamborghini Gallardo.
Adam Carolla
I saw that.
Allison Rosen
Pictures of this. The Gallardo. Which is painted up to look like a cop car.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Used to be those only existed so that hot chicks could lay on the hood in bikinis and then they could sell the posters at the car wash. But you're saying they actually got the Gallardo.
Allison Rosen
And there's an LAPD Lambo account on Instagram and on Twitter. And there's a hashtag lapdlambo on social media. It's set to make an appearance at the Los Angeles county air show. Apparently, according to the LAPD Lambo account on Instagram, no tax dollars were spent on the vehicle. It was just donated. So I guess I don't see. This is the part of civic life that I don't understand. I don't understand the point of this car. I don't understand what they do with it. I don't understand why they need it. I don't understand. Is it for parades? What kind of parades happen?
Adam Carolla
It's supposed to be for charity events and stuff like that. It's just sort of publicity. But here's my deal. Lapd. Here's some good publicity. Stop shooting people you shouldn't shoot who are delivering newspapers. Stop shooting middle aged Asian women in the wrong pickup trucks when you're going after 400 pound black men. Knock that off. And then you won't need the car. Then you probably don't need the car. By the way, if I was a cop, every single person I pulled over in a Lamborghini Gallardo, I'd just be like, what are you driving here? They go, lamborghini. And I go, well, what kind is this one? I haven't seen this one. That's a Gallardo. Sir, I'm going to need you to step out of the car. And then I'd confiscate it. Every time I hear a guy called a Gallardo, it drives me insane. That's how it's spelled. But that's Gallardo.
Allison Rosen
I said it right.
Adam Carolla
You did.
Allison Rosen
For a second I doubted myself there.
Adam Carolla
No, it's Gallardo.
Allison Rosen
All right, good. So Obama was in Zach Galifianakis web show. Between Two Ferns.
Adam Carolla
I heard about Between Two Ferns. Yes, it's very funny show.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
So he was on it and he said that he only agreed to do it because he wanted to boost enrollment in the Affordable Care Act. He said, I wouldn't be here with you today if I didn't have something to plug. Have you heard of the Affordable Care Act?
Adam Carolla
Can I say this?
Allison Rosen
Yes.
Adam Carolla
This thing, the whole time I was a kid, Bobby Wag, let me ask you this. When we were kids, did anyone need us for anything? You know what I mean? This thing was like, you gotta get to the kids. You gotta get to the youth. You gotta get to the youth. And then so the politician, the president, the rich guy, the CEO, the gotta go down, it's gotta go Talk to those 22 year olds playing hacky sack and really appeal to them. When I was a kid, no one wanted to fucking appeal to me ever because I was a kid. Like nobody gave a shit. This notion that everybody, whether it's an advertiser going for a demographic or whether it's a politician, you gotta appeal to the kids. And it didn't used to be that way. Kids used to have to shut up while older people did whatever the hell they did to run the country, make them make the money or run the business or whatever it was. And the kids didn't do anything. They got the older guys coffee. Now the president has to sit Down. That's what they did. Now it's ours. Oh, it's the kids. Oh, you got to get those kids. You got to get them listening. You got to go on their technology. You got to speak to them. None of them are listening anymore. You got to go on the Twitter, and you got to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When did this happen? You know what I mean?
Allison Rosen
Our guest was a Bobby Sox idol. What age were they?
Robert Wagner
Oh, yeah. But he's absolutely right. I agree with him.
Adam Carolla
Did the president ever come around, try to identify with you? No. Yeah.
Allison Rosen
And so now, Funny or Die. The. You know, the website where the video lives is healthcare.gov's number one traffic source. They're driving now.
Adam Carolla
This is the problem. The problem is it works. And now you got to go back with the kids, and you feel horrible for these guys because Obama. But what I'm saying is, take Comic Con. Do you think, you know, Sean Connery wants to go down to Comic Con because he's playing Inspector Banks in the X Men project that's coming out in 2017. He can't stand those fat nerds, but he has to get on a goddamn train and go to San Diego and bond with all the idiots out there. I'm just saying, Lee Marvin. If you would have told Lee Marvin, hey, we need you to head out to see. He would have hit you over the head with a whiskey bottle. But they created that market, right? And now you gotta go. Do you think any of those guys want to go?
Robert Wagner
No, I don't think so.
Adam Carolla
No. But they have to go. They have to go to Comic Con. The president has to go sit down with Zach Galifianakis and tell jokes. It's like everyone's got to go. You know, I think this started. I think maybe Clinton playing the saxophone with Arsenio. I think that started this whole thing because it's.
Allison Rosen
And he was on mtv.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah. Boxers are briefs. Started. Started this. See, back in the day.
Bald Bryan
Thanks, Bill.
Adam Carolla
The chick would have. The chick or the dude, I can't remember, would have stood up and said, boxers or briefs? And some guy in sunglasses would have got her in chokehold just dragged out. You would have heard two silencer shots, and then that would have been it.
Allison Rosen
Then the end of Tabitha Soren.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Or whoever it was.
Adam Carolla
Yes. No more. No more questions after that. Now it's all just. Just came on. I don't know if you guys are like me, but I like my president to be the president. I know Zach Galifianakis. I like Zach Galifianakis. I don't like the idea that anyone I know is chilled with the president.
Allison Rosen
Which frustrates me because it makes me think, huh, could we get him on our podcast? But no, I agree. I like there to be a division between politics and entertainment.
Adam Carolla
Yes. I don't like the idea that these guys have to make the rounds. As a politician, I understand when you're. You're launching a movie, selling a book. Yeah. You got to do what you got to do. Yeah. But this is. He's in a second term, you know. All right.
Bald Bryan
Shouldn't have to do that shit.
Adam Carolla
Let's bring it home.
Allison Rosen
That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zephyr Cunt.
Adam Carolla
That was the news with Allison Rosen.
Bald Bryan
Feet wags.
Adam Carolla
Really impressive.
Jillian Barbary
I didn't know which way to go.
Adam Carolla
This ain't the old AM stations you grew up listening to out here at with who would have been. Oh, Bob Crane back in the day. Oh, yeah, yeah, Bob Crane. Do a little morning radio. Ah, DraftKings, baby. College hoops heating up. Yeah. Got our listeners winning huge with DraftKings. Robert was working on his brackets out there.
Robert Wagner
Yeah, I was trying to put those together.
Adam Carolla
He's excited. Everyone's excited. DraftKings is awarding huge cash prizes all month during March. Millions. A guy named James Tron, call him Tran, won a million bucks in one day. One day. Fantasy sports. No season long commitments, no being stuck with the players. Just instant cash. And not just college ball. Pro hoops, golf, baseball, whatever you like. Opening day, just around the corner. DraftKings, baby. Dawson, right now you can play for free to win real cash at DraftKings. Up to 200 million bucks. Pick any sport. But hurry. Free spots are going quick. Enter adamaraftkings.com before this Friday for your free entry. That's adamaraftkings.com draftkings.com the book, you must remember this. Available on Amazon. The great Robert Wagner. Such a gentleman. Thank you so much for coming in studio so much and I will be very proud to get you that copy of the Paul Newman documentary.
Robert Wagner
I'm looking forward to that very much.
Adam Carolla
Cannot thank you enough for your contributions. And until next time, Adam Crolla for Robert Wagner, Allison Rosen and bald Brian saying mahalo. I have an anal fissure and I need you to lance it.
Matt Atchety
Coming up next, we have Adam K Show episode 1300 with Jillian Barbary, Matt Achity, David Moxley, Allison Rosen and Brian.
Adam Carolla
Bishop, also from 2014.
Matt Atchety
Check it out.
Adam Carolla
Good day, Allison Rosen.
Allison Rosen
Hello, Adam.
Adam Carolla
Carolla Baldbrain.
Allison Rosen
How about you leave the joking to Adam.
Bald Bryan
A lot of people wanted that one. After the mention of Tessa Strasser on last night's show with the hashtag top drop.
Adam Carolla
Me.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Us.
Adam Carolla
Me. New York Carolines, May 13th with Greg Gutfeld launching the book and then us. San Francisco tickets going very fast. Palace of fine arts. That's May 18th. And. All right, I'm just laughing because you feel like. Good day, Matt Ategy. Hello. Do you feel like you have. How much of your life do you spend undoing shit that other people sort of misspoke about or what have you?
Allison Rosen
45%.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I think I'm at 63%.
Bald Bryan
Like getting to the bottom of the meaning of something.
Adam Carolla
No, just a lot of. I'm getting. I'm getting. Getting ready to launch this movie, start shooting our independent film that we did, Roadheart, starting on Monday. And then I walk into the producer's office today and he's got a little bit of alarmed look on his face, and he says, so, when are you going to the racetrack? And I said, I don't know, middle of May, end of May, something like that. Rob just said you're going in two weeks. No, he just said you were leaving in two weeks. That's right in the middle of our shoot. No, and then you start thinking, well, maybe Rob know. What does Rob know? Yeah, maybe I'm fine. I'm the one who's tired and fucked up and out of it and jet lagged and half drunk. Like what? He said two weeks. He said two weeks. Said two weeks to me. Oh, shit.
Bald Bryan
Well, that's a footnote to everything you're saying, which is you don't realize how much of your life you rely on other people to be right about schedule or about time or whatever.
Adam Carolla
Right? Yeah. He's getting the car ready. We're going in two weeks. That's right in the middle of the shoot. What weekend is that? Blah, blah, blah. And he's got a very concerned look on his face. And then I'm going, I think it's like May, middle of May or something. And then he goes, oh, we'll be done shooting by then. And I go, yeah, I know, that's why it's in the middle of May. And then I'm looking at our date in San Francisco, which is May 18th. Doing a race in Sonoma on May 17th. So that is when we're going to the racetrack. But anyway, thanks, Rob.
Bald Bryan
What was the confusion? Just May versus April.
Allison Rosen
Rob had it wrong.
Adam Carolla
If I then stop and try to sift through all the fucking retardation that leads us to that place, that'll be the other 35% of my life that's completely out the fucking window. Just a lot of people talking and saying, no, you said, or I told, or we. And how are people so fucking fast and loose with that? And if they were airplane pilots or if they worked for the government in any real capacity, planes would just be falling out of the fucking sky and satellites be running into each other. Right?
Allison Rosen
They'd be missing. And CNN would never fucking shut up.
Adam Carolla
No. How insane.
Matt Atchety
Enough about the stabbings.
Adam Carolla
Let's get back to the plan.
Allison Rosen
I don't even think they covered the stabbings.
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay. Oh, by the way, last night, now, Gary, that was sent to you by Giovanni and you fucked up. Royle. Yeah. Okay, good. All right, now make it 68% of the time. I have conversations with people that are confusing. We're talking last night about former Baywatch beauty Donna d'. Arico.
Allison Rosen
You watch nights?
Adam Carolla
Baywatch nights. And how she came on Loveline one night and I'll forever love her because she got drunk enough to mispronounce her own last name. Which, it's easy when you're super shit faced and you're trying to pronounce Catherine Zeta Jones last name and you're fucking that thing up somehow.
Bald Bryan
Renee Zellweger, Chris Sedgwick, but your own.
Adam Carolla
Name, that's pretty bad. So Giovanni dug into the Loveline archives and I think we have her mispronouncing her last name.
Bald Bryan
Pumping music from Motley Crue.
Allison Rosen
And this is Donna Jericho from Day Watch. And you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla.
Adam Carolla
She got Corolla better. She did. She nailed Corolla. But Derek, she had a little trouble.
Matt Atchety
Did she nail Corolla?
Bald Bryan
They love. They love using. They were supposed to use new music for bumpin. So that was probably around 97, maybe 98 was probably when that played.
Adam Carolla
And when I ran into Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray over at Jimmy Kimmel's place about a year ago for Howard Stern's welcome to LA party, he said two things that stuck with me. One is, he said, since when did paying for everything count for nothing? And I said, I don't know. But at some point it did. At some point we turned the corner as a nation where you paying for everything got you up to even, which is zero. And then I said, and where's Sugar Ray playing? Where can we see you guys playing around town? And he said, wherever you smell funnel cake, that's where we'll be nice. When a guy has a good sense of humor about his band and himself.
Allison Rosen
I was going to say is that. That he has a great sense of humor. Like, did he seem bitter at all or was he totally just.
Adam Carolla
No, I think he. He gets that. Sugar Ray doesn't get to be sugar ray for 20 years. They get to be Sugar Ray for five years, and then they got to go play places where they serve funnel cake. But either way, just. Just one of those guys with a good sense of humor, whole band but just nice. They're mean bands and then they're nice bands. There's Chumbawamba and then there's Sugar Ray.
Bald Bryan
You think it helps that he. The TV thing for so long sort of to buoy his. His star or his career or whatever? I mean, he said legitimized himself. He's a musician, as a hit musician, but then he had a second career as a TV host.
Adam Carolla
And he's really fast, funny, you know.
Bald Bryan
Yeah, charismatic for sure.
Adam Carolla
And you ever see him on any of those, like, try to stump the rock star, whatever things he fucking cleaned.
Bald Bryan
Up on Rock and Roll Jeopardy.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Really, really, really fast guy. Anyway, really nice album.
Matt Atchety
Album. 1459. Right. Like, like, oh, our 15 minutes almost up.
Adam Carolla
Oh, right, yeah. Sense of humor about themselves. Nothing better. July 1997 is when that clip was from, by the way. All right. Sixx, by the way, Nikki Sixx. Good name to get pulled over with when you've had a couple of brews.
Bald Bryan
Yeah, a couple hard sellables.
Adam Carolla
Easy. Derek, not so much. All right, so, Matt, the game.
Matt Atchety
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Now, what's going on out there? What movies are out there? What's happening?
Matt Atchety
Well, there is a new Nicolas Cage movie in theaters this weekend in limited release, but critics actually like this one. It's his first fresh movie in the last, like five or six years. It's called Joe Small, kind of arthouse film, but the critics are saying it's pretty good. So I put together a list of Nicolas Cage movies for the game today.
Adam Carolla
Well, it's not like Nicolas Cage isn't a super talented guy. It's just like he lost his mind. Or there's one of those things where you owe the IRS a bunch of money, so you just start cranking out shit.
Bald Bryan
Yeah, he's almost too talented.
Adam Carolla
You know what? There should be a class action lawsuit against the IRS for forcing some of the better artists. I'm talking about, like black blues guys and guys, you know, guys like Joe Louis and guys like that to basically compromise their art form to pay them back.
Bald Bryan
Well, in Joe Luz's case, or boxers or whoever endangering their lives.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. They have to go out and fight a bunch of exhibition fights at 51 because they owe the IRS so much money. And fucking Joe Louis, I mean, my God, all that guy did was give to this country. And then the IRS went like, all right. And isn't there any leeway at all for the guys who have paid so much? I mean, he had to pay in. In just terms your Joe Louis versus your average black citizen from 1941. Average citizen, yes. He had to pay in for the equivalent 2,000 citizens. Yeah.
Jillian Barbary
That's not enough.
Adam Carolla
You got to be 3,000. That's what I'm. That's what I'm saying. That part always fucking. Always fucking drives me nuts. All right, by the way, before we play the game now, we gonna get David on the phone. We're getting him on right now. Okay. David Moxley, He's a sports field specialist. He constructs goalposts. Oh, my God, that's right.
Bald Bryan
You're Mecca.
Adam Carolla
Almost 14 years now. I like a guy with a little more goalpost experience, but either way, he's a goalpost novice. He's a greenhorn. He says it's not easy putting the 5ft extensions on there. And as we know, they've made it. One of the rules was no more dunking because you're fucking up the post.
Bald Bryan
Guys would celebrate the bigger tight ends and the receivers in the league would celebrate the touchdowns by dunking the ball, which over the crossbar, which is 10ft, coincidentally.
Adam Carolla
Right, right. It's weird. That's because a lot of these guys. Tight end for the.
Bald Bryan
Jimmy Graham.
Adam Carolla
Jimmy Graham. A lot of these guys played forward in college. They're insane. Yeah, sorry. What line is he on? He's not on yet. We're phoning him right now. Darren, we'll phone him. And the reason I'm saying that is because. You want to play the game or you want to phone him? Just phone him. All right, we got him right now. Just two seconds. So it isn't as easy because of sort of. You got one single post going down the middle of this thing and sort of cantilevered over and you got this other thing, and each time you go up and add weight to it, it makes it a little more. But I would argue that you could add a gusset or two. Do you guys know what a gusset is?
Bald Bryan
Like something that tethers it to the back.
Adam Carolla
Basically a triangle where two things go together.
Matt Atchety
Is that Like a flying buttress.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You can add, you know, like if you see a motocross bicycle frame where the two go into the one, you'll see a gusset in their flat plate. Well, then it makes it much. Makes the joint little sturdier. Much sturdier.
Bald Bryan
Because we don't want to take away the dunking. That's the best of the slow motion dunk.
Adam Carolla
They're taking away.
Allison Rosen
To the dunk.
Adam Carolla
They're taking away the dunk.
Allison Rosen
Gone.
Adam Carolla
They're taking away the dunk because they dunked it and Graham's tweaking everything, and now they have to come out and fix everything.
Bald Bryan
So that's gonna be what, a 15 yard on sportsman like or something like that if you do that.
Adam Carolla
I don't. I don't know what the. I don't know what the dunk is. All right, listen, Gary, I'm gonna go play our game with Matt Atchety. He's online too.
Robert Wagner
I've had.
Adam Carolla
Okay, we'll put on the thing. David.
David Moxley
Hey, Adam.
Brian (Subway Manager)
How are you?
Adam Carolla
Good. How you doing?
David Moxley
I'm doing well, thank you.
Adam Carolla
Now, are you guys gonna retrofit all the fields?
David Moxley
We're gonna retrofit probably about half of them, we hope.
Adam Carolla
Mm. And Is the uprights 30ft right now?
David Moxley
They are 30ft right now, per NFL specifications.
Adam Carolla
And you're going to 35.
David Moxley
They're going to 35.
Adam Carolla
Are those things 6 inches or 5 inches around?
David Moxley
They are 4 inches, actually.
Adam Carolla
That's it. Aluminum.
David Moxley
Yep.
Adam Carolla
Oh, they're aluminum.
David Moxley
I was actually listening to your conversation about the welded gussets and stuff. You guys were on a. You know, on the right track. I mean, one of the good things is we just verified yesterday that our goal posts actually do not have to be redesigned. They will pass calculations for the majority of the stadiums with the current design.
Adam Carolla
So the uprights are aluminum.
David Moxley
They are correct. They're hard, at least for us as a manufacturer. I think some others might use steel, but the majority use aluminum.
Adam Carolla
Pussies. Extra weight, so. And what gauge is it? About an eighth of an inch thick or three.
Bald Bryan
That's correct.
Adam Carolla
Yep.
David Moxley
Eight inches.
Adam Carolla
Look at me. What don't I not know? All right, now they have a cap on the top, I'm imagining, so rain can't get in there. And.
David Moxley
Yep, there's a welded cap on the top with a, you know, with a little loop that's welded on so that you have the directional flags on the.
Adam Carolla
Top so that you're. You will then make all the uprights whole cloth. You're not going to add on to the existings.
David Moxley
Yeah, that just wouldn't work. So, I mean, there's basically two scenarios in goal posts that we already have installed, installed at current NFL stadiums. They should, for the most part, be able to switch out their uprights. And then for cases where we have replacement opportunities, we can certify that what's from the ground up will be stampable or, you know, by a licensed professional engineer in that state. But we also have to be careful and certify what's below ground, because that's part of the equation as well. So that's what's taken a little bit longer.
Brian (Subway Manager)
You.
David Moxley
You have to, you know, it's not that this is hard from a structural standpoint. It's doable. You know, we certainly, you know, this topic's near and dear to you. I know, you know, as a fan, certainly have heard of over the last couple years.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
David Moxley
It's interesting though, what some people have commented. You know, a lot of people want a technological based or technology based solution.
Adam Carolla
Like putting lasers on baseball. Didn't do it. Yeah, just put a pole up.
David Moxley
You know, from my perspective, the structural is the way to go, at least at this height, because, you know, with purists in the game, if it hits the upright, you know, and bounces one direction or the other, versus maybe a laser that's not going to catch something like that or, you know, be different, I think that at least this challenge can definitely be met with a structurally mechanical basis.
Adam Carolla
Oh, and nothing more visceral or exciting than when the ball hits the upright and either carom's in or plunks off and falls straight down. In a way, I always feel like the kicker's even more skilled than the guy who put it right through the middle. So let me say two things. First off, did you see the movie Ghost Rider?
David Moxley
I have not.
Adam Carolla
I just don't believe. All right, well, we're going to have to keep this short then. I'm sorry. In Ghost rider, he jumped 300 foot from goal post to goal post, and it should have been 360 foot from goal. Put that. He had the ramps going up the goal post and then on the opposing goal post. And it kept saying 300ft, which drove me insane. Don't watch goalposts. Don't watch that movie. Don't watch Ghost Rider. You'll go insane. David. So let me just make sure we have everything correct. The goal post, because now I'm curious on kind of the specs. The goal post is now obviously with the back of the end zone line. Thus the extra 10 yards used to be up at the goal line. How far back is it from the back of the end zone? Is it about 5, 8ft?
Brian (Subway Manager)
6Ft?
Adam Carolla
6Ft that it cantilevers over. Then you guys dig a, you know, take a caisson bit or something and you dig down into the ground. How far is that thing buried into the ground and how much concrete is around it?
David Moxley
Well, I mean, it's going to vary by each stadium because they all have different wind loads. I mean, for example, Gillette being on the coast is very much different than say Kansas City.
Adam Carolla
Interesting.
David Moxley
You have soil conditions, you have seismic potential like in San Francisco or Seattle. So they're all different. They're all put together by structural engineers. But they're based on 30 foot uprights.
Adam Carolla
Right. They go up, go back six feet, curl over, hit that crossbar, and then we can slide your upright off of a sleeve, off of a male sleeve that comes up. And how far does it go up? If I'm designing this or if I'm.
David Moxley
Speaking about it correctly, probably I'm going to guess 12 to 18 inches.
Adam Carolla
So not that much at the bottom.
David Moxley
So I don't know the exact measurement.
Brian (Subway Manager)
But it's pretty close to that.
Adam Carolla
It's got to be more than 12 inches though. Come on. Yeah, probably. Thank you. All right, so the point is his aluminum 4 inch hollow post slides onto what would be a male post at the bottom. It slides over it and then locks in.
Brian (Subway Manager)
That's correct.
Adam Carolla
And so you'll just be able to replace the uprights for goals that we.
David Moxley
Currently have at NFL State for replacement goals. That won't be the case because we can't put our uprights on somebody else. Structural analysis, we, from what I've done, a couple of the other companies haven't. Some of their structural analysis didn't pass.
Adam Carolla
What do you do with the old posts? And I would say, you know, have the team sign them and auction them off to charity or something. I mean, I know they can go to, they can go to colleges and high schools and things like that, but pretty cool knowing that this was in Texas stadium or this was in Gillette Stadium and now it's on, on ebay.
David Moxley
Like I said, I tried that a couple years ago as a replacement opportunity to say, hey, you guys should sell these every year and have the team sign them and buy a new set.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
David Moxley
Sell all the money at charity.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. As the guy who supplies them, that's what you'd like, right?
David Moxley
No, but that's funny you say.
Adam Carolla
Laughs like we're doing.
David Moxley
Amazingly enough, a lot of these are quite old. They've been in the ground since some of these stadiums were built. Some of these goal posts are 10, 15 years old.
Adam Carolla
How much does it cost for that much? For 35 foot of that 8th inch thick walled, 4 inch aluminum, probably about $500. There you go. And you guys powder coated or you just spray paint them?
David Moxley
Nope, powder coated. Everything is powder coated.
Adam Carolla
I like that, factoring in the elements, especially when you get around, I don't know, Seattle, places like that.
David Moxley
The only way to go.
Adam Carolla
Thanks, David.
David Moxley
Hey, I appreciate it.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Thank you very much.
David Moxley
Catching contractor is great.
Adam Carolla
Oh, I'm glad you like the show. Thank you. All right, so that's it. They're just gonna pop off the 30 footers and pop off 30. Pop on 35 footers. You guys kind of got my vibe on that.
Bald Bryan
Oh, yeah. I'm just sad that it's the last time I ever hear about it. It's kind of sad putting this to rest.
Allison Rosen
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Oh, we will have to raise them again at some point. The guy's legs are getting stronger. That's. That's how it's gonna work. All right, now that everyone's never saw Ghost Rider.
Bald Bryan
Not a lot of people saw Ghost Rider.
Jillian Barbary
What the f?
Adam Carolla
I've seen it enough for all the people haven't seen it once.
Bald Bryan
Oh, we're doing Nicolas Cage movies right now.
Matt Atchety
You're gonna be disappointed. That's not on the list. You hate comic book movies. I was like, no, he won't have seen Ghost Rider.
Adam Carolla
Gary, can you show me a picture of Ghost Rider? Field goal to field goal.
Matt Atchety
Of all the crap in that movie. It's the distance between the goals that you're pissed about.
Adam Carolla
Nerds. Nerds riding for sports. Anything with sports and nerds, always a disaster. Just saying. It's egregious. I mean, it's insane.
Bald Bryan
First of all, it's called. It's called the uprights or whatever. It's not called a field goal. The goal posts are not called the field goal.
Adam Carolla
Right. They go field goal to field goal, which is. Yeah, they should say goal post to goal post. And they don't say that. And then they. But no, because they keep hitting the fact that it's a record. It's a new record. Except for it's 60ft further than the record. All right, let's.
Matt Atchety
Maybe it was an eight man stadium where they play on a shorter field.
Adam Carolla
No, let's play the theme song. Thank you. All right.
Robert Wagner
Sorry.
Bald Bryan
The problem is that I have two screens here.
Adam Carolla
All right, let me give a little love to nature box then. Your mission. Snacks smarter. Get in shape. Summer's coming. Feels like it's here already. Man, it's hot outside. Lets not give in. Naturebox.com oh, they showed up today. Maxapata. Like a little raccoon just munching away.
Bald Bryan
You could just say raccoon.
Adam Carolla
Just like a raccoon.
Allison Rosen
Today's movement was especially delicious, I must say.
Adam Carolla
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Jillian Barbary
Hurts my ball.
Adam Carolla
Acity. He names the flicks and the gang makes flicks mad at. He's a schwabid guy and when he dropped by, the king has to guess, do the critics scorch naked, rotten or fresh? Always has to take a turn for the personal.
Matt Atchety
Every time that line comes up, you look at me like I'm gonna get mad, like I haven't heard that before.
Adam Carolla
Cracks me up. He's a schlubby guy.
Bald Bryan
The thing is, Matt's pretty put together. I wouldn't call him schlubby.
Matt Atchety
A few years ago, that. That might have been more accurate. But yeah, I'm pretty put together.
Allison Rosen
I have no idea what I would say. Like a quarter of the words near the end of that song are but I sing along in my head anyway.
Adam Carolla
Me too. It's a beauty of it. All right, the theme, Nicolas Cage. All right, a new movie in theaters.
Matt Atchety
First fresh movie in years. Unfortunately, he's got a lot of bad movies.
Adam Carolla
All right, we're gonna write the number down. We're gonna see who gets closest to all the critics. And like a golf score, whoever has the lowest score wins.
Matt Atchety
All right, first up, we're Gonna go to 2002 World War II movie director John Woo. This is a story about Nicolas Cage playing a soldier who is kind of the guard for one of the Navajo Code talkers. His assignment is to kill the Navajo soldier if they're about to be captured. The movie is Windtalkers.
Bald Bryan
Never saw Windtalkers.
Allison Rosen
Never heard of Wind Talkers.
Bald Bryan
Really?
Adam Carolla
It was a big movie and everything. It's just. It was weird. I love World War II movies. I just decided I did not want to see this movie.
Bald Bryan
Me, too. Although, whenever a movie comes around, it's like, oh, that's a true story that I have not heard hardly anything about.
Adam Carolla
And I love Saving Private Ryan and the Clint Eastwood one. And then there's this. And I just went like, meh. Didn't need to see it. All right, written down. Everyone ready to go? 51, 60, 62, 33.
Robert Wagner
Whoa.
Bald Bryan
Not a good movie.
Jillian Barbary
Apparently you've been fleeting.
Bald Bryan
Apparently we didn't waste our time.
Adam Carolla
Wow. The audience gave it 51. I am every man.
Matt Atchety
Allison. You need to just automatically drop 20% off of any score that you're thinking of.
Allison Rosen
Okay, I will do that.
Adam Carolla
You know chicks can't do math, man. Why are you fucking with her? All right, go ahead.
Matt Atchety
All right. One of the more popular movies he ever did, directed by Simon West. He plays a prisoner on a cross country flight full of other prisoners. Con Air.
Adam Carolla
Whoo. Now, this movie probably didn't get high marks, but it set out to do exactly what it did. I mean, mission accomplished. It landed a plane on the Vegas strip and you believed every second of it.
Bald Bryan
It delivered exactly what it advertised.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, this is like ordering chili cheese fries and going, what? It's all greasy and it's like, no.
Bald Bryan
That'S what's on the menu.
Adam Carolla
That's what you ordered. Now, you can compare it to other chili cheese fries, but you can't compare it to surf and turf. This is what it is. It delivered what it needed to deliver. And Kuzak was good in that.
Allison Rosen
If you guys can see what's happening in my brain right now, it's like a chalkboard. And Good Will Hunting.
Adam Carolla
It even had that great thing at the beginning where he was the best and he was decorated Green Beret. And he came back to the bar and his wife's pregnant. He's like on a tour for the last four years. Like, hey, honey bear, what the hell? She call herself Honey Boo Boo.
Bald Bryan
I forget.
Adam Carolla
At a great. It was like Hummingbird, sugar. Hey, Hummingbird. I think it was Hummingbird. And then he was just like dancing with his Hot blonde wife alone in the honky tonk. And then the drunken townie came over and they just did the, hey, soldier boy, you know, Thing where it's like, when I see a guy, highly decorated, I assume he kills with his hands for a living, and I'm fucking drunk and giving away 30 pounds. And then she goes, you got a nice piece of ass there. You know, how about I dander? And then he does the thing where he says, yeah, I'm a regular hound dog. He's all fucked up. And then at a certain point, he balls up a bunch of ones and he throws them in the face of Cage and Cage like, I just like to dance with my wife, if you don't mind. He's like, yeah, well, we'll see about that. And then five hours later, when they're leaving the place, him and his friends are waiting in the parking lot. I always like the. Oh, he's got a. He's got a score to settle with the guy who did what? The guy.
Matt Atchety
Those guys didn't pass out drunk waiting for him.
Adam Carolla
My whole point with all those things is, forget about the one guy. He's the one bad guy. What are the other two bad guy friends doing? It's pouring rain. We're standing outside by this guy's pickup truck, and you gotta be going, fucking Mark. This guy didn't do shit. We'll leave him alone.
Allison Rosen
Mark's his name.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I think his name should be Mark. But either way, like, the two friends gotta be going, I'm fucking stopping. What? I don't know what you want to do. The guy's highly decorated.
Allison Rosen
He's probably a regular.
Adam Carolla
He said he served this country with dignity and pride. He wants to dance with his wife. You're the guy who's being a dick. You threw a dollar in his face. Why are we standing out by his pickup truck again? And what are we gonna get accomplished? You think we're getting laid?
Bald Bryan
I'd love to see a movie with those three guys.
Adam Carolla
That's the movie I like to see. So, Lenny, it's the third time this week.
Matt Atchety
Mark, what are you doing?
Adam Carolla
Then he comes out and they all jump him and they jump him. And a certain part, the one guy pulls the stiletto out and goes, oh, now. And he, like, lunges it at Nick Cage. And Nick Cage doesn't even use the stiletto on him. He just does the neck crack thing, you know, where the Green Beret move. The guy hits the ground. And then it's like, judges gavel with your training and Expertise. Your hands are lethal weapons. Thus, you will spend minimum 8 to 12 years in the US penitentiary. And it's like, this guy's got the worst fucking lawyer on the planet. You have 50 people in the bar that saw this guy get confronted by the drunken guy with the long rap sheet. And then three of them were waiting by his truck with a stiletto when he walked out to the truck and they all attacked him. And now he's doing 10 years bad.
Bald Bryan
Much like how the patent trolls are suing you in East Texas. Maybe these guys know they live in a county where it's beneficial to the guys who jump the marine. We can get away with anything.
Adam Carolla
May did seem very, very sure of himself in that club.
Allison Rosen
I didn't want to see the movie, but I feel like I just did.
Adam Carolla
You got to see it now.
Bald Bryan
You saw the first five minutes.
Adam Carolla
You got to see it. Star studded.
Matt Atchety
It's only up from there. All right, it gets better.
Adam Carolla
All right. I'm gonna say it wasn't a bad movie, but I know that. I know there people are gonna be snobs. Well, it was what? It was what it's supposed to be. Sayonara. Yeah. Cyrus, the Virus was in there. It's filled with. Filled with a Listers Si.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Anara.
Adam Carolla
His name was Psy and he was killing a guy. So the guy went sigh. And he went anara. Good stuff. And then a surreal scene where what's his name sat down with a little girl.
Bald Bryan
That was creepy.
Robert Wagner
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right. Jesus Christ. I'm going 51% again. I think this.
Bald Bryan
I think people like this dumb fun. I said 66. I'm probably way too high.
Allison Rosen
I said 44. And I feel like maybe I'm too low.
Matt Atchety
55.
Adam Carolla
Whoa.
Bald Bryan
Nice.
Adam Carolla
Maybe I said unfair. You're being very, very unfair. Malkovich is in this fucking. Yeah, he's great.
Bald Bryan
He's Cyrus.
Adam Carolla
Yes. I mean, Kuzak. Come on now.
Bald Bryan
Buscemi and I think Ving Rhames Trejo.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
This poster does the thing that I don't like, which is it has three faces at the top and the name. And the names don't correspond.
Bald Bryan
Yes.
Adam Carolla
No, this is. That's. That's agents saying. Wait a minute. Well, hold on. Well, no, no, no. Malkovich is a bigger star, so his face should come first. Yeah. Okay. Well, then if his face is gonna come first, we get to put Cage's name first.
Matt Atchety
I think it's. The big star has to be center. Right? Like you have to be center. The poster. Well, it's your name has to be first.
Adam Carolla
Interesting. As I said, if you find the Towering Inferno one. Yeah, you see Steve McQueen first, but Paul Newman's his second, but higher. It's all part of the game. All right, here we go.
Matt Atchety
All right, next up, 2009. Kind of a crazy sci fi movie. Knowing.
Adam Carolla
Oh, is this where he could see 14 seconds into the future?
Matt Atchety
No, it's next.
Adam Carolla
Oh, that was next.
Matt Atchety
That'll be the next Nicholas Cage.
Adam Carolla
He did two movies that were almost the same.
Matt Atchety
Yeah, this one was the one where there are messages about a coming apocalypse that his kids are getting. It's.
Adam Carolla
I swear to God, this movie was the same as the one where he could see 15 seconds.
Bald Bryan
Came out at the same time in a couple years, right?
Matt Atchety
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Okay, I'm going to go 23%.
Bald Bryan
44. I'm always too high.
Allison Rosen
You are. 61.
Matt Atchety
33.
Adam Carolla
Fuck. Yeah. Well, it's bad, you know, Piece of shit. I'm assuming all the scores.
Matt Atchety
All right, all right, next up, this is the one that people constantly make fun of. Nicolas Cage for the Wicker Man. The legendary scene with the bees. He dresses as a bear and punches a woman in this movie.
Bald Bryan
Actually, you shouldn't be setting it up as so bad because Adam probably doesn't know a lot about the Wicker man and you give him too many hints.
Adam Carolla
My last score was a 23 and Brian's was a 44. 45.
Bald Bryan
I was off by 11.
Adam Carolla
All right, that was for Gary. He's doing the math. Oh, boy. I don't think I saw. We went to the island and everyone on the island was weird.
Matt Atchety
Yeah. Based on an old Hammer films horror movie with Ed Woodward.
Adam Carolla
All right, so this thing is novelty bad, but how bad Is novelty bad? 19%.
Bald Bryan
11.
Allison Rosen
I said 11 too crazy.
Matt Atchety
15.
Bald Bryan
Damn you, man.
Adam Carolla
Look at me. Same close. All right, into the championship rounds.
Matt Atchety
All right, Here we go. 2004, Nicholas Cage attempt. His attempt to do something like Indiana Jones National Treasure.
Adam Carolla
Ooh, boy, I'm really going to have to fight. My. My urge to give this thing 110% because I love these films. Can't go wrong. Look, it's goofy fun, but it's fun nonetheless. Now and see, there's a two, and I think there's. Is there a three on the way? There's two.
Matt Atchety
I don't know if there's a three.
Bald Bryan
There's definitely a two.
Adam Carolla
The two.
Matt Atchety
There's definitely a two.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we spoke to the. The guy wrote the two. It's a fan in New York calls in.
Bald Bryan
Oh, no shit. I have no recollection of that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he did Oceans 12. I think that's part of the problem with our relationship. Nonetheless. Koppelman. Ryan Kopelman. Is that his name? Something like that, yeah. Koppelman. All right. Ooh, this is tough. So this is a pretty good movie. It's not a great movie, but it is what it is. I mean, it kind of set out to do what it set out to do. That doesn't get you too far with the critics. I feel like I have a lead. I got to hang on to it. I got to be conservative here. Going up in the 70s and 80s would probably be a tactical mistake. You guys are probably down 15, 20 points. You got to make a move here. I'm gonna try to just putt this one down the middle. It wasn't a bad film. I'm gonna go 63.
Bald Bryan
I said 69.
Allison Rosen
I heard everything Adam said about strategy, but I don't know how to actually put that into action. So I'm saying 65, 44%.
Robert Wagner
Whoa.
Bald Bryan
That's much better than a 44% movie.
Adam Carolla
Well, now, here's my point, Alison. You put that into action by saying 35 or 30, like something extreme. You go for the extreme, either 90 or 30. So I'm saying if one of you had gone 40, you could have stole it. But we all went in the middle somewhere.
Allison Rosen
I don't even know what extreme is in this game anymore.
Adam Carolla
Well, if this movie. You guys are unfair to this movie.
Matt Atchety
It's not Oscar, not me. So I think part of what happens with this movie is that in 2004, Nicolas Cage was still doing some solid work. Right. Well, people are still looking for things like leaving Las Vegas and him really showing what he's capable of. And this is right at the beginning of the time that he starts to do a bunch of really crappy movies.
Bald Bryan
I think it's right in the midst of a really cold streak, and I think this is why they so long.
Adam Carolla
You just had a cold role.
Matt Atchety
No, I actually. I think it's the opposite, actually. Brad, I think that if you were to compare. If this movie were to come out now, compared to the last six or seven years of stuff that he's done, this movie would be 75% on the. To animator.
Bald Bryan
I agree with that, at least.
Matt Atchety
Right. But I think it's in context of what people had been seeing.
Bald Bryan
No, I agree with that's what I'm saying. I think it had a few bad movies before this and a whole bunch.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's on a cold roll.
Matt Atchety
This was the beginning of the cold roll. But he. But at this point, people are still expecting him. That's what I'm saying. Expectations are still high.
Bald Bryan
Okay.
Adam Carolla
The actress who played his girlfriend.
Matt Atchety
Wife. Diane Kruger.
Adam Carolla
Diane Kruger. The thing that was funny. Diane Krueger.
Matt Atchety
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Somebody. Somebody. Hench, the guy I'm working on my movie with. Just read. It's really, as I've said many times, if you're looking to insult me in a review, do say this. Don't go fox news or O'Reilly's dancing bear. Adam Carolla comes out with another disappointing dancing clown. Comes out with another disappointing. Whatever. Say if you're looking to hurt my feelings. I'm a huge Adam Carolla fan. I love his podcast. I love the man show. That's why I was so disappointed when he came out with his contractor show. That hurts. You start off with the dancing clown. I've tuned out. I know you're not into me already and I know what the rest is going to be. Hench was reading me a review of this movie that just matter of factly. And by the way, this is the worst thing you can hear as a performer. It just said, you know, Nicolas Cage, blah, blah, blah, plays a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. John Voight, blah, blah, blah. Horrible actress Dan Krueger plays a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And it's like. But it was, it didn't even take time. It was just in passing.
Allison Rosen
I've just been like, Dan Kruger, that bitch. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
No, it should be like, it'd be like when they go, Funny man. Adam Corolla, you know, it's like, it's like horrible actor Stan Krueger, you know, like they just.
Matt Atchety
And they just.
Adam Carolla
Horrible actor Diane Krueger plays his love interest and blah, blah, blah. And it just kind of kept going. And I just thought that is the biggest fucking slap in the face ever.
Allison Rosen
Because they don't even need to justify.
Adam Carolla
Not even stopping and explaining why you're a bad actress. They just sort of blew right through.
Bald Bryan
Was this an old review he was reading?
Adam Carolla
1942. This is whenever the movie came out.
Matt Atchety
2004.
Bald Bryan
Oh, this, this movie.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, this movie.
Bald Bryan
Said he read a review. I didn't know you're talking about this film.
Adam Carolla
Sorry, sorry.
Matt Atchety
She's not horrible.
Adam Carolla
I mean, not sorry. You should have been paying attention. This movie. Yes, that's. They just did a like a toss away. Horrible, horrible actress. And then it just kept going.
Matt Atchety
I mean, look, there's plenty of actresses out there that you can Just be. You say horrible actress. Blank. Right. But I don't know that Diane Kruger is one of those.
Bald Bryan
She was in Gloria Spouse.
Matt Atchety
Yeah, she's great in that.
Adam Carolla
Oh, what was her.
Bald Bryan
She was the one.
Adam Carolla
Oh, she was great in that. Yeah. Helena Troy. Yeah. All right. They didn't mean much about it. They didn't want to spend a bunch of time explaining why she was a horrible actress. They just kind of blew past it.
Matt Atchety
I mean, now granted, that movie Troy is not a very good movie either.
Adam Carolla
Well, that was just the review that Hench read me. All right, let's tally it up and see who won this bad boy. Adam, 63 ball. Bryan coming in third.
Allison Rosen
What?
Adam Carolla
At 69. Oh, no, wait a minute.
Bald Bryan
You did win.
Adam Carolla
We screwed up.
Bald Bryan
Yeah, they're on the right. The right hand side.
Adam Carolla
Oh, oh, I screwed that up. Sorry. Oh, oh, oh, I see. I'm looking at numbers. Oh, yeah, screwed that up. All right. I looked in the wrong column. I thank you. Came in 55 and 78 ball. Bryan in 93. Allison Rosen. And how the points part work?
Bald Bryan
What do you mean? That's the combined number you guys were all off by. You were off by 53 total. I was off by 7.
Adam Carolla
I know.
Allison Rosen
What's the 511?
Adam Carolla
The 511? Yeah.
Matt Atchety
That's just.
Adam Carolla
That doesn't matter. It's the way this sheet was constructed. It shows who was the closest one for each particular movie. So you were.
Matt Atchety
Oh, as if you were to get a point for each movie. That was.
Adam Carolla
Oh, oh, okay. Well, that's why I said the points part. Yeah, I got you. All right, good. Thank you, man. Ah, yes. Tire rack. Love these guys. You can get some tires. You get them a t. Tirerack.com, america's largest independent tire tester, consumer direct source for tires, wheels, performance, accessories. It's all there. It's all tire rack. Just go there. Just whatever car you got. Look at the rims. Put your car up there and then put all the different rims and tire combinations on it. Virtual meaning. Let's see. Brian, let's see. What do you got? That jet over there?
Bald Bryan
Spisoderus. That fellow said it several times.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I like to downgrade. You got your Passat?
Bald Bryan
Yep.
Adam Carolla
You want to get some rims? You want to get some tires, or do I? You go tie rack. Put your year Passat up there. It will come up. And then go ahead and go to bbs. See what it looks like. With some bbs or some Ankis or whatever the brand is virtually build your car they have tires for every budget.
Bald Bryan
The good stuff and good all the way through.
Adam Carolla
All the way through, Yeah. I mean like if you were going to sell your car in four months and it needed four new tires, you want to spend an arm and a leg. Yeah, they got stuff. Put your tire size in, Boom. It all pops up. It's all there. It's@ TireRack.com 35 years serving driver's needs. These guys are awesome. And I've been checking these guys sites out way before they came on board and am very, very, very much into tires. Everyone laughs. Alright, let's see. Gillian Barbary's here. A couple of quick questions and then we'll bring Gillian in. See Matt 24.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Hey, what's going on?
Adam Carolla
What's going on, man?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Not much. So my original question was if Lynette gave you, if she gave you a pass that sex with anyone you want, who would it be? But the caller screener informed me was Scarlet Johansson. So I had to change my question to who would you have sex with that's passed away?
Adam Carolla
Mmm.
Bald Bryan
Diane Krueger.
Adam Carolla
She'll be missed. I say Lee Marvin just because of the story, novelty aspect of it. And everyone would be like, Lee Marvin was gay. And I'm like, I made him gay. I mean, he wasn't gay then. He was. I gave him the Dirty Half Dozen.
Bald Bryan
Good night everybody. It's been fun.
Matt Atchety
He gets you a point blank.
Adam Carolla
She should. You think Lee would be all right with that? No, he would not. That's why I can assure you.
Matt Atchety
You can say that now that he's no longer with us now.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I see. I throw a curve and it's a much greater conversation piece than, you know, Betty Grable or something like that. I mean, I've been with women, you know what I mean? I've never been with the Lee man, the Marv man, the Dirty Half Dozen. Yeah, the guy had a. You know, if you really think about it, the guy had a last name for a first name and a first name for a last name.
Bald Bryan
Yeah. He should have been Marvin Lee.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Or at least just two first names.
Bald Bryan
Marvin Leibowitz.
Adam Carolla
Either way, I gave it to him good. And I gave it to him. You know what I mean?
Matt Atchety
I wouldn't have pegged him as a bottom.
Adam Carolla
Well, he wasn't. That's the whole point. It wasn't anything.
Jillian Barbary
But he did peg.
Allison Rosen
Okay.
Adam Carolla
That's right. There you go.
Bald Bryan
Good job.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I know it's everyone's answer, but I think there's a reason why everyone says Lee Marvin, when you ask him this question.
Robert Wagner
Yeah.
Bald Bryan
It's cliche for a reason.
Adam Carolla
It's cliche for a reason. That's right. Yeah. I don't know when he passed, you know, it'd be awkward if I ran into a relative of his like at a Cheesecake Factory or something like a couple days later. Oh, oh, hey. What with the attitude. I'm sorry. I just spit out a name. What do you want to do? I panicked, you know what I mean? Yeah. Died in 87, by the way. So he's due.
Bald Bryan
He hasn't had it in a while.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. No, I'm just saying it's a conversation piece. Who here's had sex with Lee Marvin?
Bald Bryan
There's only one hand up.
Adam Carolla
Nobody. Nobody at all. Don't be shy. Nothing at all. Just me.
Robert Wagner
Huh?
Adam Carolla
Interesting. Yeah.
Bald Bryan
Settle any argument with just. Do you know what it's like to have sex with Lee Marvin? Mm, I didn't think so.
Adam Carolla
I didn't think so. All right. And I think it shows a lot of diversity on my part.
Allison Rosen
It's a real open mindedness.
Adam Carolla
Also when I'm talking to you and we're potentially, you know, it's always the potential for us to have sex. Once I've had sex with Lee Marvin, nothing is off the table sexually. You know what I mean? It's like you can never go, well, I can't have sex with. No, no, no. I could have sex with anyone at any time. I had sex with Lee Marvin, you know what I mean?
Matt Atchety
But would all sex be disappointing after Lee Marvin?
Adam Carolla
For him, yeah. But not for me. That's right. I don't even know if I'd wash, you know what I mean? I want to bring that essence into my next intimate moment, you know what I mean?
Bald Bryan
Ever again.
Adam Carolla
Smell my dick. Which dead celebrities should smell like? I'll give you five. No, three guesses.
Bald Bryan
It's Charles Bronson.
Adam Carolla
Not bad. I'm not going to call you an idiot.
Bald Bryan
It's not. It's not Donald Sutherland, is it?
Adam Carolla
It doesn't have to be a dude. Yeah, it's the dead dude.
Bald Bryan
Oh, shit.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Tough guy.
Bald Bryan
Oh, oh.
Matt Atchety
Ernest Borgnine.
Adam Carolla
You took my answer.
Bald Bryan
I was thinking, for the record, I was thinking Ernest Borgnine.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And then like you're like the same. You're in the same field but you're on a different base, you know?
Allison Rosen
Take another whiff.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Guy was a tough guy. Very chiseled features I got.
Bald Bryan
That's John Houston. That's fucking John Houston.
Adam Carolla
Chinatown. Sorry. Sorry. What sorry, James Coburn, it would be unfair to give you more than three guesses. It just wouldn't be fair.
Allison Rosen
That's not how you play.
Matt Atchety
That's a whole different game.
Adam Carolla
All right, so, Matt.
Matt Atchety
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Lee Marvin.
Brian (Subway Manager)
That's disgusting.
Adam Carolla
Okay, well, you asked. You're the one who wanted me to have sex with a dead person.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yeah, but I didn't think you were gonna pick him.
Adam Carolla
Well, who did you think I was gonna pick?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Maybe Princess Diana or something? I mean.
Adam Carolla
Well, that's disrespectful. Come on.
Bald Bryan
Go to jail for that in England.
Allison Rosen
Jesus Christ, she's hardly your type. Oh, he's more your type.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Matt Atchety
Too soon for her.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And imagine you ran into Elton John. Indignant he'd be. And he doesn't mince his words at all. I mean, he'd have a lot. Yeah. He have a couple high balls and get right in your fucking grill. Write a song about what a douchebag you are. That's got to be his ultimate threat, right? I'm gonna write a song about you being a douche. You'd have to back off immediately. Right.
Matt Atchety
And you could tell everyone.
Adam Carolla
That's right. What's your song? You're a douche. Vito. What is that?
Bald Bryan
You know, the Prius Gun. Hold.
Adam Carolla
Oh, shit. Wrong guy. Sorry. Screw that up. There we go. Vito.
Brian (Subway Manager)
Yes, sir.
Adam Carolla
What's going on?
Brian (Subway Manager)
Hey, thanks for taking my call. So you obviously have the red mangria, the white mangria. I was wondering, is there another flavor coming out? Champagne flavor?
Adam Carolla
Rose. We got the mixture between the two. Yeah, I'm down with that.
Brian (Subway Manager)
But I was wondering, is there a champagne? To me, that seems the next logical step is a champagne flavor.
Matt Atchety
The Lee Marvin flavor.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. First off, I may be gay enough to have sex with Lee Marvin's corpse, but not so gay that I've come out with a champagne flavored mangrif.
Bald Bryan
You gotta draw the line.
Adam Carolla
Not that gay.
Bald Bryan
Draw the line.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I'm kinda gay.
Allison Rosen
Hey, there's nothing gay about having sex with Lee Marvin's corpse for you.
Adam Carolla
I would argue that that's sort of the ultimate masculinity, if you really wanted to think about it. No, Vito. Yeah, the regular and I think maybe a mango, but we'll see. We're working on all that. All that stuff. But thank you for partaking and enjoying. You can go to Corolla Drinks. Yeah, it does go down nicely, especially as it's warming up outside. Go to Corolla Drinks. You'd like to check that out? All right, let's see. Who we have Gillian Barbary. I love Jillian Barbary. I was watching. I was watching that. You know, one of those while you're gone and come in and make over your house shows, and then you argue with your husband and then they send you away. Her husband's a sniper. Did you know that?
Allison Rosen
I did not know that. I'm not even sure I know what you mean. Oh, really?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Oh, I thought you meant like a sniper when it comes to home decorating.
Adam Carolla
No, I mean he's a sniper.
Allison Rosen
Wow. No, I did not know that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Very interesting dynamic over there. And then they went in and rebuilt the house and all that kind of good stuff. But I love Jillian because she's a open book and I love getting into it with her. Oh, ex husband. I guess they argued enough during that show. I should have seen that come. That episode wasn't that old. We got to talk to her about that. All right, Jillian Barbri next. Matt Atchety. Rottentomatoes.com is where you go. Also, you can check out Tomatometers. They got a TV show that you can check out as well. And the website Rottentomatoes.com Matchety is the name of the Twitter handle. We'll be right back with Jillian Barbary after this. Gillian Barbary in Stud just got a new radio show, midday la Jillian Barbrey, John Phillips. It is Monday through Friday, noon through 3pm 790 out here. You can go online and listen, by the way, am KBC. You can go to kbc.com and listen. I've been listening to the show quite a bit because I'm a radio junkie and I love listening to talk radio.
Allison Rosen
You do?
Adam Carolla
I do. I do. When I drive, I always listen to talk radio. And I've always traditionally listened to talk radio because I used to do carpentry and I'd work alone, right. And I'd put that radio on like it was my friend.
Jillian Barbary
I read your book, which I really enjoyed, to sort of learn more about you because I've known you for many years, but I. I don't really know you. In other words, you are the type of personality that I listened to you on Loveline with Dr. Drew forever, and I loved you two together. And I, I thought I knew you a little bit more than I did. You know, you're one of those people that's sort of evasive. Like when we did the Toyota race and you killed everybody, you won. You were the guy that everyone's like. You never really hung out. No, we weren't allowed to make eye contact, first of all. No, no, no. He was always very cool and nice and cordial to everybody. But while everybody was out sort of partying and doing that socializing thing, Adam was not there. And then he would just kind of come in and then kick everybody's ass. And so he was sort of this.
Adam Carolla
Like, fuck Lee Marvin and leave.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah, yeah. It was like this enigma.
Adam Carolla
And then, you know, my schedule was so insane that what they do, and it's really fun. What they do is the racetrack is Willow springs, and it's 100 miles out of here.
Jillian Barbary
Oh, it's. It's far.
Adam Carolla
And it's like barstowy or something. It's not quite that far, but it's out. And so most people, because they don't want to drive back and forth, they.
Jillian Barbary
Stay in the hotel.
Adam Carolla
On a weekend, they stay at a hotel, and it's a dive of a hotel, but it's filled with celebrities. And the celebrities like to get their swerve on.
Jillian Barbary
They want to get their drink on and hang out together. Yeah. And it's like, from local radio celebrities to, like, Academy Award winners. So it's like the gamut.
Allison Rosen
Right, right.
Adam Carolla
And so then you find out that Rutledge Wood infiltrated somebody's wedding that was being thrown at the hotel and started. Started free. Started rapping freestyle.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah, he did.
Adam Carolla
At the wedding.
Allison Rosen
That's right.
Jillian Barbary
See, those are shenanigans. You don't need to be. You're at home with Lynette, minding your own business, in bed, preparing for this.
Adam Carolla
No, I just. I travel so much and do so many gigs on the road and so many things. I remember when I did the race a couple of years ago at the banquet. I had to leave halfway through it to do two shows at Irvine that night. And it was like, I'm on the road and traveling so much that sleeping in my own bed is just a treat, really. It's like a treat for me, even if I have to drive in between and all that kind of stuff. But enough about me. I want to focus on you. So first off, the radio show sounds great.
Jillian Barbary
Thank you.
Adam Carolla
I listened. Oh. Must have been going on for a few months now.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah, I think we're in our seventh week. And you know what's interesting? Somebody came up to me at a event. It was a big radio thing at the Roosevelt, and they were handing out awards. And long story short, you know that passive aggressive kind of guy that comes up, and he's like, so how do you find the transition from television to radio. And I was like, well, I really don't look at it as a transition. I always approach television like radio because I love radio as well. I love talk radio.
Adam Carolla
I love you. Yeah, you love mean Drew and Howard and Howard Stern and of course, all that stuff.
Jillian Barbary
The King. And so I'm fascinated by radio. And I know it's a harder medium. I definitely know that. In the sense that, you know, you're painting the picture verbally for the listener, not a viewer. So half the time, and I was just telling you earlier, they'd be looking at, you know, hair and makeup and bullshit and shoes and, you know, 10% of what you're saying. But radio is a different animal. And so the guy said to me, how's the transition? And I said, you know, for me, I love it. There's a freedom in radio. But it's, it's, it's a lot harder.
Adam Carolla
But the hours for you, I mean, doing a show from noon to three, by the way, you know, radio has some tough shifts, but Noon 3 ain't one of them.
Jillian Barbary
Well, but, you know, and that's the shift that people, I guess LA people are in their cars. I'd rather be a morning. Well, no, I wouldn't.
Adam Carolla
I know you for how many years got up at what time?
Jillian Barbary
Oh, the crack of Jack. Yeah, I got up at, well, 4:30 or 5, which isn't so bad. You know, when you have kids, you understand.
Adam Carolla
No, no, it's always bad. It's always bad, but.
Jillian Barbary
But you get it down. And when I lived in Huntington beach, it was far worse because I was up at 3:30 and driving. You know, it was a nightmare to be on the air at 6. But when I moved to the Valley, I. And I heard you talking about the show that I did with my husband and they came and redo. I should have hired you to redo some. You know, maybe we'd still be together at this point. I don't know.
Adam Carolla
You're the sniper.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah. And it was not as bad. And you're done by 10 and that's the end of it. Because it's live. It's not like we're preparing a whole hell of a lot for them.
Robert Wagner
Right?
Jillian Barbary
It's great.
Adam Carolla
No, and you had so many raps with, you know, people that you had such great experience with that you didn't have to sit and study and get your chemistry down and all that stuff.
Jillian Barbary
I wouldn't have even if I, you know, my thing was I didn't want to know the guests until I got to the show that day because I like that spontaneity, and that's what makes it interesting to me.
Adam Carolla
I'd give that bullshit answer, too. To my producers.
Jillian Barbary
No, my producers, they got used to it. They didn't include me in meetings. I said, you want me to glaze over? But you, somebody like you and Howard Stern, I know you guys prepare, which fascinates me, because I don't. And I fly by the seat of my producers.
Allison Rosen
Fly What? He does not.
Jillian Barbary
No.
Allison Rosen
Unless there's some secret life that you lead. I don't think he does really well.
Bald Bryan
He gets dressed.
Adam Carolla
Well, I do. Same clothes, but I do.
Allison Rosen
He maybe thinks about topics, but, like news. He does not want to know about topics ahead of time or anything like that.
Jillian Barbary
That's interesting. That's a rarity.
Adam Carolla
I walk around with a little buck slip and I make my little notes. When my little daughter, my seven year old said to me the other day, almost brought a tear to my eye. She wanted to know if I would take her to the father daughter D. It was like a really, like, came down the hall and we had that moment, and it was really nice. And I'll write like, nice moments. And mostly she. She wanted to take Uncle Jimmy. Oh, yeah. Can't wait for me to go. But she. I write down little moments, but I don't prepare in terms of the guests or the news or any of that. Any of that kind of stuff.
Jillian Barbary
Wow, so you're not neurotic like Howard is. That way, I mean, he'll go over shit in his head and, you know, before.
Adam Carolla
Well, that's why he. Who he is, probably, but now. So you. So sorry. I didn't know you got divorced because last time I saw, you're on TV arguing with your husband.
Jillian Barbary
Well, there you go.
Adam Carolla
There you go.
Jillian Barbary
Although, you know, that's heavily edited. I have a theory that. And I will share this with you because I am a fan of yours and I love you. And when people ask me the answer to the divorce thing, I'm heartbroken beyond belief. It's been a year I've been out with one person. It's really hard, but I will say that. God, I'm gonna get choked up.
Adam Carolla
But it's a good pot. If you do the Mangria. Could be. Could be the Mangria crying, too.
Jillian Barbary
You know, I think that in this business, it's really hard to be. To do. You know, the woman is, like, trying to work and have babies and then have a. Like, he's a sniper. He's Like a type A. Mm. It's hard to have that guy at home. He's like control, you know, he's the fucking guy that goes out and wants.
Adam Carolla
To be the shrub.
Jillian Barbary
The guy that goes out and wants to be the hunter gatherer.
Adam Carolla
Hunter gatherer. That's what I mean. Yeah. No, I mean, it's a crazy discipline that he has. Literally laying on his belly and moving 10ft in a day.
Jillian Barbary
You know, it's funny, I remember asking. It's true.
Adam Carolla
And I remember now you have to look like a fucking shrub.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah. And being that stealth is like. It's a huge part of what they do.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Jillian Barbary
And to be that sort of. To have that mindset and the stupidest question you can ever ask a fucking sniper. I don't, you know, Marine sniper is, you know. You know, have you ever seen anything? Have you ever killed him? It's like ridiculous. And I remember dating him and asking him if he had ever killed anybody. Like, just being so stupid and naive and just, you know, bullshit talk over dinner on our second date and asking.
Adam Carolla
A butcher if he'd ever cut a steak. You know, like, yeah, it's my gig. That's what I do.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah. And you know, and I'm looking at.
Adam Carolla
Ever written a ticket?
Jillian Barbary
Exactly. And that kind of look. And he's. He's just sort of looked at me and said, you know, I've hurt a few people's feelings. And I took that to mean, okay, well, I'm not gonna ask that question again.
Adam Carolla
Well, now, what is this? Sorry to get personal, but is this your idea? Is this his idea? Is it both your ideas?
Jillian Barbary
You know, I was saying on air today, somebody said to me on Twitter, of all fucking places, if there's no cheating and no beating, why would you divorce when you have kids? And I took that to heart. I thought, you know, there was certainly none of that going on. I almost wish there were, in the sense that if he had gone out and been with someone else and that had gone down and that transgression, what have you, I think that's an easier forgivable thing in a marriage than the day to day locking horns. Over. This is blue. No, that's black. Oh, my God. That gets to be. And you know, I could write a book on, you know, a woman in the business and trying to be that, you know, as ball buster as I can come off on that show, Good Day la, or on the radio show, whatever. At the heart of it, at the end of the day, I'm just a girl. I Do you Know, I want to be the girl. I took his name. I. You know, I just opened up my life. I didn't want to. I wanted him to feel like the man. Well, the truth. Our roles were fucking reversed, and I was the man, and he was at home, so that fucks with your. At the end of the day, we're men and we're women, and we're different for a reason. And when you put an alpha male like you. Him in a situation domestically, and you take somebody like me who just wants to be a fucking wife and raise kids, because FYI, I just want to be a great wife. All the other bullshit is peripheral.
Adam Carolla
Well, you don't. You don't feel like you need to bring home the bacon.
Jillian Barbary
Well, I have to, because I got the two kids, and they've been with me for a year. So, yes, I do.
Adam Carolla
But, I mean, here's the way.
Jillian Barbary
They're my responsibility.
Adam Carolla
Here's the way I feel. And stop me if I'm wrong, but if someone is coming on the other side, stop the other side of it. I make the money. Lynette takes care of the kids, and that's fine with Lynette, and it's fine with society, and it's fine with me.
Jillian Barbary
Does it. It works for the two of you?
Adam Carolla
It definitely works. I'm much better at making money than she is. She's much better at taking care of kids than I am.
Jillian Barbary
Do you micromanage how she takes care of the kids? Do you?
Adam Carolla
I'm not even. I'm not home. I wish I was home enough to micromanage.
Bald Bryan
It doesn't matter.
Allison Rosen
Oh, get her in here.
Adam Carolla
He's drawn.
Jillian Barbary
But you buy the dinner that she cooks up, but you don't cook.
Adam Carolla
Huh? Why cook sushi?
Bald Bryan
It's a metaphor.
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay.
Jillian Barbary
That she orders what have you. It's hard to be the one bringing home that bacon and being told how to cook it.
Adam Carolla
I'm saying I don't think we've evolved quite as much as we think we've evolved, where the woman can bring home all the money and the guy can hang out and not bring home the money, where it just gets to work the same way, but opposite boom. I think if Lynette was out working, traveling, putting the hours I was putting in, coming home and I was just doing her job, she'd have some notes for me, and there'd be some friction.
Allison Rosen
It sounds like you guys are saying the same thing. Yeah. Which, hey, I'm the one going out and making the money. So when I come Home, you don't get to tell me what to do. Well, here's a degree.
Jillian Barbary
Well, here's the problem. In my marriage, he did get to tell me because I am the traditionalist. And so I would go, I'd be the big mouth on television or on the radio, but when I would come home, I just want to be the girl. So I always sort of acquiesce to his way because he, he was, you know, worldly. He had been around the world. He had. And, you know, I think that, that I got resentful. Like, why is your way always the right way? Finally I question, like, what kind of.
Allison Rosen
Things are you talking about in terms.
Jillian Barbary
Of changing a diaper? That's not the way you do it, okay? And I change, all right? And then finally I'd say, fuck, do.
Adam Carolla
You have a bowie knife?
Jillian Barbary
I'd say, yeah, like in five seconds I'd say, do you have a family in China I don't know about? Like, have you changed diapers? I'm 40, I've never fucking changed a diaper. I don't know. As long as the shit doesn't run down her leg. Let the call it a day. But he is, he was very meticulous.
Adam Carolla
Did you feel like he was overcompensating A little bit? Because I do feel like guys need to contribute financially and when they're not contributing financially, or at least to the degree that you're contributing financially, there's some overcompensation going on. Like, I just don't feel like I don't know that many guys that are just cool with that relationship. Even if they say they're cool with it, there's going to be some overcompensation somewhere along the way.
Jillian Barbary
I think so. I think so. And you know, we both are at fault for so many things, but at the end of the day, you know, he was, he's a great guy and he's certainly, you know, a good stand up person. I think you would love him like if he walked in here, fucking girls fall all over him because he's like a cross between Bradley Cooper and Christian Bale.
Adam Carolla
But he's also easy on the ice.
Jillian Barbary
He's very easy on the ice. But he could also, you know, talk to you about all your cars and fucking guns. And he's that guy, you know.
Adam Carolla
But now when you got divorced, are you paying him?
Jillian Barbary
He didn't ask for a thing. That, that's fucking cool. My first husband, I paid alimony to the ball player. Yeah, I did.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Jillian Barbary
We didn't have Kids. So I've always been the man. But let me tell you, this one walked away and said, I'm not asking. And I said, I'll take care of the kids. I don't ask you for anything for the kids. Not, you know, nothing. For their schooling, their food, their clothes.
Adam Carolla
By the way, there's something so nice about a little quiet dignity.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Just a sliver of it still left in this horrible society we fashioned where a guy can just be a guy and go, you know, you don't owe me anything. And I know by law I could go lawyer up and find some guy and get something out of you and whatever gig you have from this, you know, but there's a difference between what I can get by law out of you and then what I morally deserve or just what I think I deserve by taking the moral high ground, by just going, I'm fine, I'm a man. I'm able bodied. Yeah, I'm not a dunce. I can take care of myself for sure.
Jillian Barbary
And that's exactly what happened, you know, so it was very hard. Listen, I'm fascinated by what he just did. I mean, we had seven years together. Seven years of four seasons and seven years of, you know, the five star hotels and the this and then that. And, you know, when it was over, he's like, well, I got a man up. So he went overseas and he had not been over there. I mean, he hadn't been over there, period. He went to Desert Storm. He was in Rwanda.
Adam Carolla
In the episode I saw where you guys were working on the house, he was getting ready to make that.
Jillian Barbary
They made the call. Yeah. And it took. It took a year, but he got the call.
Adam Carolla
So now I was listening to your radio program, I think it was yesterday, and you were talking about having a gig and being on TV for all these years. But then they move in the younger chicks, and TV's got a lot of turnover. Not so much for the men, more so for the ladies.
Jillian Barbary
Well, Steve's like 72, so there you go.
Adam Carolla
That's Steve Edwards.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah. We had a 20 year run, though. Well, 18 on good daylight.
Adam Carolla
But I'll play devil's advocate and say that if you weren't beautiful and young in a woman, you may not have gotten the gig in the first place. Like, there's an element where you go, hey, don't kick me out because I'm getting older and. But there's another part that says it was your good looks that helped get you in the door in the first place. So you can't hate it, you know, you can't hate your, I don't know, your looks, your gender, your hair, whatever it is.
Allison Rosen
Do you agree with that? That that's what got you in the door in the first place?
Jillian Barbary
Well, I mean, I think I've always been a pretty quick wit on television. I did live TV in Montreal, then I did live television in Miami and I came out to LA and everyone had the big tits and the big hair and I, I had brown hair and real tits and I did not, I was not that typical sort of sunny anchor woman. And I was the opposite.
Adam Carolla
Well, I don't mean obviously, obviously you have to produce. Yeah, yeah, but I'm just saying, of course it helps.
Jillian Barbary
I think it opens the door in many ways.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I'm just saying. Well, forget your profession. Hollywood starlet. It's like beautiful, statuesque, 22 year old blonde. And then she's pissed off now when she's 42 and there's no more roles for her. And it's like, but sweetie, you wouldn't have gotten. Yeah, that's how you got the gig in the first place.
Jillian Barbary
I do think a lot of those women though, now over 40, like the Naomi Watts and all those, they're still getting good roles if they have chops. I don't exactly. And I don't think that that was. I wasn't trying to say that was the case. I was trying to say I was approached by lawyers saying, hey, they let three of you go all over 45 in three months. And 45 is the age where you can. And then they replaced all three of you in four months with younger. That could have been possibly a class action, not a road I'm going down.
Allison Rosen
45 is the age where you can say that it's ageism.
Jillian Barbary
Correct. And for me, when I was let go, when I was let go, they didn't really let me. Here's what they did. They said, dorothy, we're not renewing your contract. Jillian, not so fast. We want to have you on the show, but we want you to do what you want to do. And I was like, I don't know what that means. Well, we want you in the field. I'm like, okay, so now I'm a reporter, so who am I throwing back to in the studio? Well, we can't tell you that. But I will say that when I left, I just shot a bikini commercial. It's not like I felt like fucking old or whatever. I felt probably in the best physical shape of my life, by the way.
Adam Carolla
For Those who are listening around the country. And I don't know if the show was.
Jillian Barbary
No.
Adam Carolla
Syndicated or something.
Jillian Barbary
No, it wasn't.
Adam Carolla
We're talking about local television, but very popular. Yeah, very popular for 20 years, just in case you're going to Alaska.
Jillian Barbary
And listen, we were number one for maybe 10 or 12 of those years, or, you know, it went back and forth.
Allison Rosen
But we used to do a lot of clips of you guys.
Jillian Barbary
Right. I mean, we were known. We were known with that. But, you know, the general idea that news is relevant is a joke, because now with social media, the news. Television news is a dinosaur. And so I was one of the first on social media at that station to say, you guys, we need to hook up with Twitter here. No, I don't know what that is.
Adam Carolla
Sure.
Jillian Barbary
And so, of course, three years later, now they're on it. And. But we would get breaking stories. I would get them from viewers quicker than our producers could get them, and I would bring that to the attention.
Adam Carolla
Now, what is your. Can we go back a little bit? You were adopted.
Jillian Barbary
Well, we're going back the very beginning.
Adam Carolla
Well, actually, we can pass forward to Howard Stern's party two years ago when I think there was some projectile vomiting.
Jillian Barbary
Well, wait a second. That was actually four years ago.
Adam Carolla
It feels like two years ago.
Jillian Barbary
I know. Really, for me, it does. In front of your wife, actually, I.
Adam Carolla
Think she was helping put you back together.
Jillian Barbary
God bless Lynette. Yeah, God bless Lynette.
Matt Atchety
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Now, what happened that night?
Jillian Barbary
So I just had my son, and I. I get very nervous in situ. I was by myself. Grant was in Mexico. I think he was on a motorcycle ride. And I said, I'm not passing up a Howard Stern party. I can't. But I hate to go alone. I have such phobias about crowds, about, like, I could sit here with you and tell you the most intimate details of my life, my sex life, being adopted, what my fears are. I could sit and tell you everything about my life. Like, verbal diarrhea. Get me in front of a crowd, I freak out. I have anxiety, the whole thing. So I forced myself to go and Jimmy's house. Yeah. And it was my. To be completely graphic. So you don't get a period when you're breastfeeding. So I'd stop breastfeeding. It was like six.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah. It's fucking weird. Whatever. Some weird girly shit going on. So I got. I stopped dressing, and it was my first period, so it was horrible. Like, I was cramping that day. I was crying. It was horrible. So I popped a Vicodin. Fast forward, get to the party. Feeling pretty good. Feeling loose. I'm actually able to talk to people by myself. Very proud of myself. And proceed to go directly to the bar.
Adam Carolla
Yep.
Jillian Barbary
And it was the combination. And I hadn't had drinks in almost a year. Because you're pregnant. My pregnancy and breastfeeding. Oh, my God. So I made up for it in double dosage. And there's Lynette, and I do remember.
Adam Carolla
And you're wearing big shoes, which is always different.
Jillian Barbary
I don't even remember if I had shoes on at that point. But I do remember sitting on the sofa, and I remember just, like, feeling horrible and hearing all the voices around me. And everyone had a jam session going on, and I was like, God, I wish they'd fucking stop there in the.
Adam Carolla
Music room, jamming with John Stamos or something.
Jillian Barbary
Right.
Bald Bryan
Right on the bongos.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah, it was Pokemo. It was annoying.
Adam Carolla
Pokemon Pokemo. Sorry.
Jillian Barbary
So then it was. Then I remember just lying down and bleh. It was just like this little. And I heard and I heard, and I know. It was like she goes, uh.
Adam Carolla
Oh.
Jillian Barbary
And that's when I thought, oh, I'm so fucked.
Adam Carolla
I just. It was one of those stories where I just remember. Hear. I didn't hear about it till we got in the car. I didn't. I didn't know that Gillian had brought up the Vicodin and everything.
Bald Bryan
Got the recap.
Jillian Barbary
Well, he actually got it from the first person. I mean, it's not like she was eyewitness. She was there. She was hazmat. She was emt. She was everything. And, yeah, I don't recall much after that other than her saying, uh, oh.
Adam Carolla
How did we get you home? I'm trying to remember that one. Remember there was some movement trying to get down some back stairs or something like that?
Jillian Barbary
Yes, yes. I think there was maybe a driver involved.
Adam Carolla
Okay. Yeah. But none the worse for wear.
Jillian Barbary
Well, you know, you go through stuff, and maybe I'll, you know, talk about it exclusively in a book that I do one day.
Allison Rosen
Who knows?
Adam Carolla
So, Jillian, anyway. Adopted. Where do you grow up?
Jillian Barbary
Just outside of Toronto. My parents immigrated from Europe, and then they both had me in Toronto. They met in Toronto, and then they were teenagers, and then they had me.
Adam Carolla
Oh.
Jillian Barbary
Put me up for adoption. And then they went back to the social worker and said, you know, we want to get the baby back. And she said, well, if you marry the father, you'll get the baby back. So she married my father, went to get me Back and they said, oh, she's been adopted. But it was like a total Philomena story because I was living in foster care. So they lied and then they went on to have two daughters. So I have two full sisters.
Adam Carolla
Do you?
Jillian Barbary
The smart ones.
Adam Carolla
Then you were adopted by somebody else?
Jillian Barbary
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So how much contact with the biological family do you have now?
Jillian Barbary
Oh, they're in my life. They've been in my life since I was 32. I met them, I hired a detective and I found a whole family. So I'm very close people.
Adam Carolla
Normally when they hire the detective and they find the biological parents, it doesn't turn out to be a great day. But yours was a little bit different. That your parents were young, they married, that they got married and that they just sort of went on and led a so called normal life pretty much.
Jillian Barbary
With two other daughters.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jillian Barbary
Who didn't know about me by the way.
Adam Carolla
Never knew. How old were they when you found them?
Jillian Barbary
When I came knocking on their door, 22 and 28.
Adam Carolla
Did they know you from television, Fox Sports and all that kind of stuff?
Jillian Barbary
Yes. You know, the detective tells you, don't talk about all that stuff at first. Don't say, hey, I'm the long lost daughter and I you might know me from. So I didn't, I just, I talked with them. We corresponded through the mail and then emails and then eventually phone call, A phone call. And I remember my first phone call with my sister who was 28. And she's the smart one, she's the, you know, the professor and she's an engineer, makes airplane landing and all that bullshit. And she said, by our third conversation, she said, well, what do you, you know, what do you do in California? And I told her I was what I. Good day la. And of course they wouldn't see it. And I said I'd do another show with Pamela Anderson. And she said no. She said, well, would you? Are you on any shows that we would know? And I said, actually I do an NFL show and you might know that if you watch football. And she, right away she was like, oh my God, are you the weather girl with Terry Bradshaw Was her first question. I said I am. And she's like, oh my God, we've been watching you for years not knowing you are full sister.
Adam Carolla
I've been, by the way, waiting for that phone call my entire adult life. Some successful dude five years older than me.
Bald Bryan
Hey, bro.
Adam Carolla
Hi, this is Richard Branson.
Bald Bryan
Yes.
Adam Carolla
What? Yes, I'm your brother. What you may have seen. Are you kidding me? Albums yeah, no, I can't afford to fly in your place. Can I fly in one of your. This is awesome.
Jillian Barbary
Now you can have a plane.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, send over the hud. Send over the dirigible Elon Musk. Yeah. I mean, that's what I've been waiting for. Every time the phone rings, I'm like, hello? Nothing. Yeah, that'd be awesome.
Jillian Barbary
Somebody, right?
Adam Carolla
Somebody. Anybody.
Jillian Barbary
They were very cool about it. I mean, obviously they. They were excited because I was in, you know, California, but they. They did something really funny. They were kind of hesitant to meet me, and I don't know what the conversation went like up there, but it.
Adam Carolla
Was sort of like, so everyone's in Canada.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah, everyone's in Toronto. And so they decided it would be a good idea to send the 22 year old down, who's a little bit of a. She's a. She works at the Toronto Film Festival now. She's a big wig there. But she, at the time was jumping out of airplanes, going to university, kind of a free spirit. And they said, amy, you're the one that's going. You're going down. You'll be the ambassador. You'll figure out if this girl's lying, if she's crazy, if she. And so she hops out.
Adam Carolla
Well, Mama and Dad verify that they had a child that they gave for adoption, correct?
Jillian Barbary
They did say yes before the two of you came along. We actually had a third and we.
Adam Carolla
Put her up for adoption. Did they do a. Thanks a lot to you, I mean, in terms of the other two daughters? Because, Allison, you know firsthand, being told something or having a truth withheld can create.
Jillian Barbary
Did your dad have another family?
Adam Carolla
She knows. She.
Jillian Barbary
Well, that's no secret. I could see the bulge.
Adam Carolla
She has a second one, though.
Brian (Subway Manager)
That's what.
Adam Carolla
That's the big issue. No, she didn't know she was Jewish.
Allison Rosen
I know it's a. It doesn't play well in just a sound bite. It's a much longer story. I realize it makes no sense. However, yes, I did. My. I was. My last name's Rosen. I know I look Jewish. There's nothing not Jewish about me.
Jillian Barbary
But you could have been Italian.
Bald Bryan
You do look Jewish.
Jillian Barbary
She could be Italian.
Allison Rosen
Told me and I didn't understand, but no. Anyway, it turned out, yeah, I did not know until I was in my early 20s. My parents had lied to him my whole life, and I just didn't.
Jillian Barbary
About being Jewish.
Allison Rosen
Yeah, I just.
Adam Carolla
Not being Jewish.
Jillian Barbary
They told you you weren't in this town.
Allison Rosen
It's also long lived Story that doesn't really. Yeah, it doesn't really make any sense. But anyway, long story short, I just believe that they would never, like, of all things, I just never thought they would lie to me. And I was, like, kind of almost brainwashed in a way. That's how I look at it now. But we're all really close.
Jillian Barbary
I mean, I understand they must have.
Adam Carolla
Well, it ends well as the dreidel turns.
Jillian Barbary
They have their reasons. How about this? They're like, hey, man, sit down. We have something to tell you. You're adopted. Just kidding. You're Jewish, so there's that aspect. You can do it.
Adam Carolla
What I'm saying is you can harbor a certain degree of resentment towards somebody who doesn't tell you the truth, even if they think it's for the better. Whatever. They're just not being straight with you.
Jillian Barbary
Exactly.
Adam Carolla
So maybe your parents had to get into this with your sisters.
Jillian Barbary
No, you know, for them. They were so thankful that I came because my mother carried it. She was from Dublin, Ireland, like, straight up. She still talks with a lilt and the whole nine yards. And he's Lithuanian. I mean, they were like, literally immigrants that came to Canada. And so for her, she carried this around her, on her back for all these years. So it was a huge weight lifted, if anything, because the family was fucking excited. And quite frankly, I paid for one of my sister's IVFs. The other one, schooling. We're all close. I fly them out here first class. They stay with me. Life is good.
Adam Carolla
Well, yeah. When this.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah, I mean, once they verify that I was legit.
Adam Carolla
Junkie prostitute shows up with, you know, Kent Cigarette on the front porch holding a newborn, going, hey, man, I'm your sister. That's a different vibe. I'm doing new. I'm doing weather with Terry Bradshaw. That's a little. It cushions the blow.
Jillian Barbary
It did a little bit.
Adam Carolla
Just a little bit.
Matt Atchety
Just a little bit.
Adam Carolla
Speaking of sports, we'll get back to this one second. Fantasy baseball Fans, opening day DraftKings baby. Awarded over half a million dollars in cash prizes. Way more to come. Our listeners are whooping ass over@draftkings.com. they are playing. Are you playing? Brian, what do you got?
Bald Bryan
I'm in a contest that starts in about an hour. I joined a big, big contest. I have contests from, like, two people head to head, and they have contests. This one has 575 people in it, so we'll see how I do.
Adam Carolla
A guy named Sam won a hundred grand. First time ever playing one day fantasy sports. No Season long commitments, no being stuck with players, just instant cash every day. DraftKings Dawson right now you can play for free. To win real cash, enter adam@draftkings.com and get free entry into another huge contest. They're awarding over 400 grand in cash prizes. 400 grand free spots are going quick, so enter adam now@draftkings.com alright, so back to this fascinating tale. Now you've, you've found biological mom and daddy and sisters and it's kind of fun. Now you got a family, right? Are you pissed at mom and dad? You forgive them?
Jillian Barbary
No, I never really had, I never harbored resentment in my entire life, so I didn't have to forgive. I always thought, well, you know, obviously I could have been aborted. That was my attitude. My attitude was, I could have been aborted. So this woman took nine months out of her life and gave me a life like, holy shit, how could I be pissed off at that?
Allison Rosen
By the way, I'd find a way.
Adam Carolla
If you'd been aborted, Good day, L.A. would have been at least 50% worse. Yeah, maybe 60%.
Bald Bryan
Depends on who they got instead.
Adam Carolla
But oh, I never thought about them getting someone instead. I didn't really work that into the equation. So. And now what about adoptive. Adopted parents? Adoptive parents, Adoptive parents. How are they with you going back and finding and revisiting?
Jillian Barbary
At first they probably weren't thrilled. I think they, I was like, look, I just want to know my ethnicity, for fuck's sakes. I don't know if I'm Italian, Jewish. I don't know if I'm, I don't know anything. So, you know, and you go through life and people have their ideas of what you might be. And even for illnesses, I had no idea if breast cancer ran in the family, everything was not applicable. I. So, you know, for that reason alone, but I think they were a little more like, maybe you should let things lie where they are. And not necessarily, you know, had they.
Allison Rosen
Had correspondence with your biological parents?
Jillian Barbary
No, no, this was the 60s, very different. Like, yeah, it was all government closed. And I remember my mother saying, well, but this was a, this, the woman who adopted me, this is a closed adoption. There's no way you'll be able to. I was like, oh no, yeah, the laws have loosened up. And so, no, they were there and they're fine. This is how many years later? 12. So they're completely cool with it. Everybody's fine.
Adam Carolla
Wow, happy ending. You never, never hear about one in this scenario. And the sisters are doing well Everybody's.
Jillian Barbary
Great, and they come down frequently. And I remember my birth mother getting tipsy one year at Christmas and throwing up a Vicodin. It was very odd. I was like, oh, my God, the apple did not fall. No, no. So she decides to call my mom and dad, who adopted me, to thank them. And I was like, oh, I don't know if this was a good idea. But she called them and thanked them for taking me in, which I thought was probably the coolest thing that anyone could do. I think they were a little taken aback there. The birth family, it's like this. If you grow up in a family and they're the nicest people in the world, and you're a little considered eccentric or a little different, and then you meet the circus freaks that you actually were birthed from. You know, you go, oh, oh, yeah, right.
Adam Carolla
Oh. So you're.
Allison Rosen
Now I'm like the fairy tale.
Jillian Barbary
I'm very similar to the birth family.
Allison Rosen
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So what you're saying is the nature is more powerful than the nurture in a.
Jillian Barbary
In a sense. In the sense of mannerisms, movements, cadence in your speech. Obviously looks genetically. I look like my mother, but. Yeah. Wow. I remember Steve Edwards, my sister, coming to the show, and Steve saying, oh, my God, it's like watching you walk across the studio. And I was like, oh, you're right. I'd never seen another human that had my feet, nothing.
Adam Carolla
This was many years ago. He was 79 at the time. Shall we do a little news, by the way?
Jillian Barbary
Oh, how exciting. Can I say yes? Can I chime in, please? Oh, it'll feel like home.
Adam Carolla
The news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison. Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with zip. It's Allison. Allison. Ah, let me give you a little love to stamps.com. baby, you need stamps.com. you don't want to go to the post office. Tax season. Man, it's crowded down there. Nobody's happy because they're all sending them checks to Uncle Sam. You don't need that bad juju and that bad vibes going on over there. They got a special offer over@stamps.com. use my name. They got a no risk trial. $110 bonus offer includes a digital scale. 55 bucks free postage@stamps.com youm buy and print postage stamps from your own computer, and you print it out right out of your printer. It's unbelievable. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else, click the microphone, top of the homepage, type in Adam. That is stamps.com promo code Adam. All right, some news now.
Allison Rosen
All right, so you guys have probably already heard about the school stabbing in Pennsylvania. A 16 year old boy who reportedly had a blank expression on his face, which is the one he usually had, took two kitchen knives, went on a stabbing spree and slashed 21 students in a scene. Security guard in the halls of his suburban Pittsburgh high school before an assistant principal tackled him and disarmed him. Five students were critically wounded. I believe no one has died, but still it's awful and disturbing. And they say that he was, you know, shy and distant and had this sort of blank look on his face every day.
Jillian Barbary
Always those ones, the quiet ones.
Allison Rosen
Right. But he was an outcast and there was no indication that he would be violent. That's.
Adam Carolla
He was or wasn't an outcast.
Allison Rosen
Was not an outcast.
Jillian Barbary
And they say that the, the hallway was crowded and so people didn't quite understand what was happening at the time. They just felt pain and then they looked down and there was blood. So it was very sort of very quick and stabbing motions. But one of the kids who was stabbed, someone took a picture and they, they posted the stabbing. Only, only in this society today do we do that. You know, it's on Facebook as you're going to the hospital, but it's crazy. You don't need guns to do. My ex, the sniper would say, because I came from gun control, he would say, guns don't kill people, people do. And I'm like, but in Canada we have gun control and holy shit, there's less fucking school shootings and everything else. But this just goes to show if you want to hurt somebody, you can hurt somebody.
Allison Rosen
I mean, I suppose the difference would be that if it were a gun, these people wouldn't be, they would be dead.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
But yeah, it's still. That was my first reaction, was like, holy, holy cow. How did I think. Holy shit is what I said.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Holy fuck.
Jillian Barbary
Yeah.
Allison Rosen
Fuck. Did he maim that many people that fast before something happened? But I know that someone pulled the fire alarm. They don't know who. They think they'd be a student. And that added to the air of confusion and panic, but it helped to get everyone out of there.
Adam Carolla
I'd like to make the argument that he should have been bullied.
Bald Bryan
Little bullying would have helped.
Adam Carolla
Go home. Kill yourself. Oh, yeah, I would stab everybody.
Jillian Barbary
Well, I wish bullies did that, but usually you know, or the guys that are bullied, but usually they go take a bunch of people out and then they.
Adam Carolla
Ah, that's just the latest bully trend.
Jillian Barbary
Oh, okay.
Adam Carolla
It's just the way the bully wind is blowing. I can't tell if everyone has just gone insane. And look, you know, I'm not one of these hysterics that are like, oh, with the video games and oh, with the. But the violence that. The graphic violence that is washing over everyone from zero to all the way through high school cannot be helping. Like, you may go, well, look, I'm not one of these uptight folks. Or like, well, these violent video games are causing people. I'm not saying causing people. I'm saying we're tuning it out to the.
Allison Rosen
We're becoming desensitized.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we're becoming a little desensitized. Like I said, when I'm driving through Hollywood and there's Red Dead Redemption and there's a guy holding a sawed off shotgun on a billboard that's 40ft tall down at me as I sit with my kids in the back of the car and look up at 20 foot high man holding a sawed off shotgun that's pointing at our fucking car. I go, what the fuck is going on? And then I realized that's part of my kid's tableau. Like, that is just huge guy holding shotgun. By the way those billboards were. He wasn't holding the gun up in the air. He's up 40ft high and he's holding it down to go. Any car that passes under this huge guy can just stare at the end of sawed off shotguns. By the way, if we wanted to put a picture up there of Jillian Barbie with her fucking shirt over her head, they'd have it taken down. Unless she was wearing an undershirt, but then that would be confusing.
Jillian Barbary
That's fascinating.
Adam Carolla
So I'm saying you could not show a booby in Times Square, but you have a guy. And again, the sawed off shotguns are made for killing people. It's not like, oh, we're going pheasant hunting with a sawed off shotgun. We're gonna go rob a fucking liquor store and blow a guy's head off. And you holding it down at an angle that's just about right for every pedestrian that's walking through Times Square. Now we tune it out. But do we really see, that's my.
Allison Rosen
Argument with assault rifles, that those are intended for killing a lot of people as opposed to pheasants assault. I agree too I feel like there's some counter argument that I don't know what it is.
Adam Carolla
No, the thing is, Congress shall make no law.
Bald Bryan
That's the argument.
Adam Carolla
The thing is, I don't think video games are causing this rash of whatever. I don't even know if there's a rash. Maybe it's just the news cycle. Maybe kids were doing this all the.
Jillian Barbary
Time when we had Pac man, because I saw your Pac man machine out there. I was like, I mean, I think.
Allison Rosen
It was a lot worse. Kids were eating people. Was your time.
Adam Carolla
I'm just saying there are images of violence and death and destruction that are coming a mile a minute.
Jillian Barbary
Well, I will tell you to your point. Working in the news, when Desert Storm was going down and we said, well, we have to black out these images, but you could hear the audio, and it was rata tat, and it was a bunch of American soldiers getting killed. And I said to Steve, wow, we can show you Americans, literally, you're hearing them lose their lives right at that moment. Da, da, da, da. Done. Okay? But God forbid Janet Jackson flashes a nipple, you know, and everybody's up in arms. And that's the big but. We're a morning news show where people are fucking having their coffee and we're showing you footage of Afghanistan or it was the Gulf War. But my point is, it's a society we live in. It's extremely like that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You know, so I don't say this stuff makes people go out and do this. I just think it makes it a little easier that not such a chasm between doing it and not doing it. I felt when I was growing up, there's a huge chasm between how you felt. Maybe you felt bullied, maybe felt angry, maybe felt whatever, and then going out and doing it. Well, if you think about video games, video games is you just going out and doing it every day for three hours.
Allison Rosen
But do you think that, let's say someone is frustrated and angry and maybe has not violent tendencies, like they want to do violence, but they're. They're just. They need a release for all this stuff they feel, which I think is just stuff that adolescents feel anyway?
Adam Carolla
Sure.
Allison Rosen
Could video games be a healthy release?
Adam Carolla
No. Tetherball release anger. Yes, there is. Again, you know, if you said, let's pick a topic. You know, if you took a topic. I think if you took a topic like rape and someone just watched a video game of basically raping for three hours, I think it would make raping easier for that person. If that person had that Predisposition and.
Jillian Barbary
I think desensitizes you.
Adam Carolla
Well, they have practiced, yeah. I mean, they have simulators and pilots sit in simulators and you practice landing airplanes and simulators.
Jillian Barbary
Do you think rapists practice on the real dolls?
Adam Carolla
I'd like to get one of those simulators. Yeah. The point is, I don't want to sound like uptight pops here. I'm just saying sitting in front of a high def big screen TV and shooting people for three hours a day has to build somewhat of a bridge between where we grew up and the fantasy of what you wanted to do. There was this chasm and you could never get across it. And now I just feel like with all the billboards and the Red Dead Redemption and all this bullshit, there's just a little bridge. And the more you hear about it in the news, the more you go, oh, well, I guess it's done, people can do it. It's one of those things. I just believe it's like this here's how we're built as human beings. Nobody ever did a fill in the blank on a snowboard or skateboard or whatever. And then Tony hawk did a 780. And then when Tony Hawk did a 780, five other guys did it in the first week afterward. Soon as somebody dunked a basketball, then everyone dunked a basketball, like all. Once you see somebody do something, you kind of go. As a society, we kind of go from oh, nobody could do that to I guess we could do that. And that's part of what we're up against, I think anyway, 720, 900 or. Yeah, he did a 900, Tony Hawk did a 900. Here's what I'm saying. The 900 was considered unlandable in skateboarding for 25 years. And then Tony Hawk did it and then two weeks later, 12 year old probably pulled it off, you know what I'm saying? I don't know how many guys have landed the unlandable. All of a sudden once you land it, everyone looked at him land it, went, oh, it's possible, it's possible, now we can do it. And I think there's an element of that.
Allison Rosen
Here's a mental exercise which I don't. I'm wondering what your experience of this will be. For me, sometimes it's hard for me to remember whether I've actually seen a dead body in person. Because it's like, oh, yeah, I've seen, oh wait, no, I've just seen it on tv. And then I think, oh, like, yeah, I have actually at A funeral. But it takes me a little while to remember whether what I'm doing, remembering is something I've actually seen in person or it's footage or it's fiction.
Adam Carolla
Well, when I was having sex with Lee Marvin, I can tell you, yes, I have seen a dead body in person.
Allison Rosen
How was.
Adam Carolla
Was seven plus? And I say plus that mean it could go up to 10. All right, next story.
Allison Rosen
Another depressing story. It's a depressing news day. I'm sorry. A car smashed into an Orlando area daycare Wednesday, injuring 15 people, at least 12 of them children. And as of now, one of the, one of the children has died.
Adam Carolla
It is one of those, why doesn't this happen all day, every day? I mean, cars.
Jillian Barbary
Was it an elderly person, I'm wondering, or Orlando, was it they?
Allison Rosen
Who knows? They haven't revealed that. Although it does seem like. Well, so the car was out of control after it was struck by a Dodge Durango, jumped a curb and smashed into the daycare, breaking through the wal and into the building. The driver was not hurt. And then the guy who was driving the Dodge Durango though was 26 and they're looking for him right now.
Jillian Barbary
Oh, so he took off. Lovely. He caused this. The death of a child. Always great for a parents. Drop your kid off at daycare, you know, you're going to your day of work, you probably make, you know, a decent salary or not and you get this news.
Adam Carolla
Well, you know, I'm not big regulations guy, but I would be fine with this code, which is if you have a daycare center or a place that takes care of a multitude of children and you are less than 20ft from the highway. Couple those posts that go into the ground, three feet that are cemented in that come up three feet and are back filled with some cement every six feet or so just on the front wall. I'd be, I'd be all right with that regulation. Like with all the fucking lunatics that are hopped up on meds and texting simultaneously in a highway where people are just buzzing by. Yeah. With 25 kids inside that thing. On the other side of that stucco wall that just has two by fours and plaster on the inside. I'd be alright with my post rule.
Jillian Barbary
Yes, me too.
Allison Rosen
Yes. All right. And then in personal news, I was behind a car today and I thought it was a very fitting car that I was behind. And Gary will put up the photo and then we'll explain it to the listeners and to Gillian.
Adam Carolla
Mm. Alright. Maybe I'll give a little love to One of our sponsors. Personal capital, baby. Wait on that picture. Gary. Gary's looking for it. Free and secure. It's a tool that solves two barriers. And you want to be free. You want to be secure. It is personal capital. I gotta tell you, it's hard to keep track of everything. Your bank accounts, 401k, all the different passwords, all that stuff. You need someone to manage it. Someone could be you. With personal capital, you don't have to pay someone to do it. The website is exquisite. I just got to say this. I've never been more impressed by a website that did not have naked people on it. Let's be honest. Look, why wait? Personal capital puts all your accounts, all your assets on one screen. And you can look it up on your computer. You see how much money is going in, how much is coming back and out. Why wait? Signing up just takes a minute. Big dividends. Personal capital gives you total clarity and transparency and makes you a better investor. It helps. And it helps. Now set up your free account. Go to personalcapital.com Adam personalcapital.com Adam personal capital is free. Smart way grows your money. Check it out. It's an unbelievable website. All right, there is the truck that we're behind. And what's it say? Marathon.
Bald Bryan
Indeterminate amount of length.
Allison Rosen
Marathon. I've gotten so many tweets about that. Jillian, did you know you probably did.
Adam Carolla
Start at the top. You have to phrase I'm dumb.
Jillian Barbary
I know nothing. Go ahead.
Allison Rosen
All right. You phrase it that way, this is.
Bald Bryan
Going to be more insulting.
Adam Carolla
Do you know what the length of a marathon is?
Jillian Barbary
No. 26 and a half miles.
Adam Carolla
It's only off by 23.
Jillian Barbary
23 and a half.
Adam Carolla
No, no. 26.2.
Jillian Barbary
Okay.
Allison Rosen
I somehow went through this whole life not knowing I was Jewish for most of it. And also not knowing that a marathon was a set distance. I thought a marathon was just like a real long race. So this came out on the show yesterday. Lot of tweets about it. A lot of people enjoying the moment and also calling me a dumb shit now. And I've done a lot of thinking since then, and I realized, you know when people say it's not a sprint, it's a marathon.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Allison Rosen
I realized maybe I've been misunderstanding that my whole life, what that actually means.
Adam Carolla
Like, it just keeps going.
Jillian Barbary
Right?
Adam Carolla
Right.
Jillian Barbary
Like for you, the marathon is never ending.
Allison Rosen
Well, does. Does that mean it's not about how fast you get there, it's about completing it? Because I thought what that means is pace yourself.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Well, it just means it's not 100 yards. It's a long, long run, and it's going to take a long, long time and.
Allison Rosen
Yeah, yeah, a long, long run. That's what a marathon is to me.
Adam Carolla
Right. But you have to understand, you know, they'd have the Boston Marathon every year, and they'd have, like, the record, you know, like the Olympic record for marathons. The Boston. If they moved it, they trimmed two miles off it or added two miles, it'd be super unfair to the person. Like, they go, I have the new record. You have to just chop nine miles off the record.
Allison Rosen
But I thought that you could do a 5k marathon.
Adam Carolla
Oh.
Jillian Barbary
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
No.
Jillian Barbary
I have a question for Alice. Did you. Okay, so growing up. I gotta get back to the Jewish thing. Did you. So you did.
Adam Carolla
Jewish don't run marathons traditionally. Exactly.
Jillian Barbary
So there you go. But did you. So obviously they didn't practice, but did you. What did you think? What nationality did you think you guys were? Italian or. Because I dated an Italian, that you guys could be brother and sister?
Allison Rosen
I thought that I was what I am, which is. Except for the Jewish part, which is Austrian, Russian, French, German. Okay, so that's what I knew.
Jillian Barbary
So they added the Jewish at the end. Just recently. A few years ago.
Allison Rosen
Yeah. Well, no, actually, when you were young.
Jillian Barbary
You were a kid.
Allison Rosen
I mean, it was when I was in my early 20s, so it was a while ago at this point.
Jillian Barbary
Wow.
Allison Rosen
So I'm 75.
Jillian Barbary
That's still, like, interesting. Like in your 20s to learn that.
Allison Rosen
It was. Yeah, it was just because my whole life, people would say to me, are you Jewish? And I would say, no. And they say, yes, you are like me. I was being told I was a liar my whole life. And then to find out, oh, that's a really traumatizing.
Jillian Barbary
It was.
Allison Rosen
It was pretty upsetting to have people insist that they knew what I was when I. And. And to accuse me of lying.
Jillian Barbary
Did you ever go home and say to your parents, like, people are saying, I'm just.
Allison Rosen
Oh, yes, that's the. And the lies would get even more fantastical. That's the crazy.
Adam Carolla
To be fair, most of us people were waiters. 11%. Interesting service industry. Anyway, did you know? But it was more pejorative. I don't think they really. It was taxi drivers, people in the service industry. Taxi drivers. People work at Starbucks.
Allison Rosen
Guys I dated.
Adam Carolla
That's right. Yeah. What? No, oral. The point is this. I don't think. I think they managed the pejorative. They weren't really investigating.
Allison Rosen
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right, let's bring it home.
Allison Rosen
That's the news. I'm Alison Rosenz. If it got Dan Kruger, that bitch.
Adam Carolla
That was the news with Allison Rosen. Ah. You know, Bald Bryan's book is gonna be out. My book? President Me. You can order it on Amazon, go to our website.
Jillian Barbary
What's that one about? I read your last one.
Adam Carolla
Well, thank you.
Jillian Barbary
I bought it on my iPad, on my ibooks.
Adam Carolla
I love that.
Allison Rosen
Well, thank you.
Adam Carolla
This will be just how things would work if I was president.
Jillian Barbary
Nice.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. The American.
Jillian Barbary
So we're talking about different laws and different states. Everything. Prostitution will be legalized. I. I'm already feeling Jillian Barbary would.
Adam Carolla
Get a raise for her fine contributions on midday. LA. Jillian Barbary. John Phillips. 790 out here, noon to 3 KBC. But you can go to the website to stream it. Listen that way if you're listening around the country, kbc.com It's a great show. I listen to it as well. I want to thank Matt Atchety. Rotten Tomatoes. Until next time, Adam Crow for Matt, Jillian and Allison and Bald Saiyan. Mahalo. I gave him the Dirty half dozen.
Matt Atchety
All right, it's adam Kroll of Show 1300. That does it for this weekend's Kroll Classics. Make sure to tune in next weekend.
Adam Carolla
For three all new installments. Until then, mahalo.
Bald Bryan
And get it on.
Adam Carolla Show - Robert Wagner + Jillian Barberie (Carolla Classics)
Date: November 9, 2025
This Carolla Classics episode serves up a blend of mid-2010s Adam Carolla Show highlights, featuring lively interviews with Hollywood legend Robert Wagner and LA media personality Jillian Barberie, plus favorite segments like “Mr. Brightside,” listener phone calls, and the Rotten Tomatoes game. Adam, Allison Rosen, Bald Bryan, Matt Atchety, and guests engage in candid, humorous exchanges about old Hollywood, celebrity culture, pop psychology, careers, personal stories, and social trends—delivered with Adam’s trademark wit, irreverence, and heartfelt moments.
Paul Newman Documentary & Celebrity Willingness
Bandwagon Effect in Hollywood / Ocean’s Eleven
“You must go around and around… They could not justify their incredible paychecks if it was just that easy.” – Adam Carolla (04:12)
Adam's Babysitting Stories
Bubble Bath Endings & Childhood Aspiration
“When I was 12… eating pie filling out of a fucking can, going, I want to kill myself… Where do these people come from?” – Adam Carolla (19:35)
Brian, Subway Manager, and the Case of the Swapped Toaster (27:00 – 35:36)
Lee: The Parent with Challenged Kids (37:51 – 45:44)
Jason: Girlfriend’s Cervical Cancer (46:47 – 52:17)
Bond with Paul Newman & Racing Stories
The Studio System & Hollywood’s Golden Age
Cities, Production, & Lifestyle Differences
Book Plug: Wagner’s memoir You Must Remember This: Life and Style in Hollywood’s Golden Age.
“I started off, we were protected. The whole publicity department protected you. Today, you’re total fair game.” – Robert Wagner (68:17)
“They changed the whole approach to acting… it became much more organic.” – Robert Wagner (70:47)
Jillian on Radio vs. TV
Marriage, Divorce, and Gender Roles
Adoption Reunion
“I wanted him to feel like the man. Well, the truth… our roles were fucking reversed and I was the man.” – Jillian Barberie (154:59)
“He didn’t ask for a thing. That’s fucking cool.” – Jillian on her ex-husband (157:24)
NFL Rule Changes, Goalposts, and Adam’s Crusades (77:40 – 109:53)
Missing Malaysian Jet & Conspiracy Theories (82:10 – 84:49)
Social Change and the Cult of Youth (91:43 – 95:08)
Rotten Tomatoes Game: Nicolas Cage Edition (119:03 – 133:01)
Sex With Dead Celebrities (136:39 – 140:49)
Unfiltered, fast-paced, and raucously funny—often veering into dark or personal topics, but always with a breezy, confessional spirit. Carolla’s wide-ranging curiosity, nostalgia, and cynicism land alongside candid moments from guests, blending Hollywood history with modern absurdities.
Expect a hearty dose of showbiz nostalgia, brutally honest relationship talk, and an all-access pass to Adam Carolla’s off-kilter worldview. This “Carolla Classics” episode is a must for fans of acerbic, deeply human banter that runs from shallow to soulful, often in the same breath.