Rudy Giuliani Goes off on Biden/Obama Corruption + Trend Has Wives Charging Husbands for Lunches

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Adam Carolla Show – "Rudy Giuliani Goes off on Biden/Obama Corruption + Trend Has Wives Charging Husbands for Lunches"

Release Date: August 4, 2025
Host: Adam Carolla
Guest: Rudy Giuliani
Podcast Network: PodcastOne / Carolla Digital

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Introduction

In this episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla welcomes former New York City Mayor and prominent political figure Rudy Giuliani. The conversation delves deep into allegations of corruption involving former President Barack Obama and President Joe Biden, the concept of the "deep state," and a peculiar social trend where wives charge their husbands for making lunches.

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Main Discussion Topics

1. Rudy Giuliani's Work with NCRI and Iranian Dissidents (02:22 - 05:18)

Giuliani begins by discussing his involvement with the National Council of Resistance of Iran (NCRI), an organization comprising Iranian dissidents aiming to counter the influence of the Islamic Republic of Iran. He highlights the group's efforts in exposing Iran's uranium enrichment activities and their alleged collaboration with Israel's Mossad in targeting Iranian nuclear scientists.

Notable Quote:
Giuliani (03:57):
"They aimed directly at that window from about a block away... they never hit a military target. Israel hit military targets and then went for specific people, not just the scientists."

2. Regime Change in Iran and the Futility of Negotiations (05:18 - 07:20)

The conversation shifts to the apparent inevitability of regime change in Iran, emphasizing the challenges in achieving peace in the Middle East due to Iran's persistent objectives under the Islamic Republic.

Notable Quote:
Giuliani (05:27):
"We are fooling ourselves if we think we can get peace in the Middle East. As long as this is the Islamic Republic of Iran with the goal of capturing the entire Middle East, it doesn't even matter if the Ayatollah is gone."

3. The "Deep State" and Allegations Against the Obama Administration (09:49 - 19:32)

A significant portion of the episode critiques the concept of the "deep state," particularly targeting former officials like James Comey, John Brennan, and others. Giuliani alleges that these figures engaged in activities to undermine Trump’s presidency and manipulate electoral outcomes.

Notable Quotes:
Giuliani (12:57):
"For 17 months, that was the established truth. And it was a complete lie."

Giuliani (19:32):
"How courageous they are and how little they love their country because God forbid they're going to take a political hit but do something good for their country."

4. Hunter Biden, the Laptop Controversy, and Impeachment Claims (13:11 - 23:57)

Giuliani discusses the Hunter Biden laptop controversy, asserting that the material was authentic and containing evidence of corruption involving Joe Biden. He criticizes the FBI and other agencies for not thoroughly investigating or acting upon the information he claims to possess.

Notable Quotes:
Giuliani (14:16):
"They had possession of the laptop 10 months before the debate. They authenticated it, I believe in December of 2019 or January of 2020."

Giuliani (17:17):
"I never had evidence that good in a case I prosecuted. Never."

5. Obama’s Alleged Involvement in Deep State Activities and Putin’s Preferences (28:03 - 40:29)

The discussion continues with Giuliani alleging that former President Obama was deeply involved in perpetuating conspiracies against Trump, including the manipulation of impeachment processes. He also touches upon Vladimir Putin's alleged preferences regarding U.S. presidential candidates, suggesting that Putin favored Biden over Trump to maintain the status quo.

Notable Quotes:
Giuliani (37:35):
"They knew the Russians picked up on Biden being demented. They were just licking their lips, waiting for him to come in."

Giuliani (40:29):
"Putin invaded three times under the last four presidents. Bush, Obama, Biden. Who does he skip? Trump."

6. FBI Raids and Supposedly Collected Evidence (41:03 - 44:50)

Giuliani recounts the FBI raids on his home and office in 2021, claiming that the agents sought his electronic devices to uncover incriminating evidence against him. He alleges that the FBI failed to seize the Hunter Biden hard drive despite having access to it.

Notable Quotes:
Giuliani (43:59):
"After investigating all that they took... they had no probable cause that I committed a crime."

Giuliani (44:41):
"I can give you either the Hunter Biden hard drive without the child pornography, or I'll give you the one with the child pornography."

7. Corruption within Politics and Business (28:03 - 31:09)

Giuliani expands on political corruption, discussing how lobbyists and corrupt politicians amass wealth through bribes and kickbacks. He compares the financial exploitation within Congress to organized crime, highlighting the disparity between wealthy politicians and their impoverished constituents.

Notable Quotes:
Giuliani (31:09):
"They’re protecting the real possibility they’ll go to jail for the rest of their lives. These are people who know they’re committing crimes."

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Segment: Wives Charging Husbands for Lunches (68:45 - 71:05)

Transitioning from politics, Adam Carolla introduces a lighter topic about a social trend where wives charge their husbands for making lunches. This segment includes a review of a popular TikTok video where a wife explains her rationale for charging her partner $10 a day to prepare his meals.

Key Points:

• Economic Exchange: The wife argues that instead of spending money at restaurants like McDonald's, her husband should pay her for the service of making lunch, ensuring money circulates within the household.

• Critique and Humor: Carolla humorously questions the practicality and motivations behind this trend, highlighting underlying themes of efficiency and household economics.

Notable Quote:
Wife in TikTok (69:57):
"I charge my partner 10 pounds a day to make his lunch for work. If he's gonna go and spend 10 pounds at McDonald's... Why not put money in my pocket instead?"

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Commercial Breaks and Advertisements

Throughout the episode, there are intermittent advertisements for various products and services, including:

• SimpliSafe: Home security systems
• Pluto TV: Streaming service offering free movies
• The Zebra: Insurance comparison platform
• O'Reilly Auto Parts: Automotive supplies

These segments are interspersed between the main discussions and comedic bits but were omitted from the primary summary as per instructions to focus on content.

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Comedy and Personal Anecdotes (75:15 - 90:08)

The latter part of the podcast shifts towards comedic discussions and personal stories from Adam Carolla and his guests. Topics range from reflections on past movies like "Lifeguard" starring Sam Elliott to humorous takes on everyday situations, such as encountering dog owners at upscale restaurants and the complexities of sandwich-making.

Highlights:

• "Lifeguard" Movie Review:
  Carolla and Giuliani humorously dissect a 1970s lifeguard movie, poking fun at its portrayal of lifeguards and the cultural norms of the time.

• Sandwich Sensitivities:
  A comedic exploration of dietary sensitivities and the nuances of crafting the perfect sandwich, intertwined with anecdotes about family dynamics and personal habits.

Notable Quote:
Carolla (89:57):
"Stop thinking about what everything does to you and what all the food..."

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Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with promotion of upcoming live shows in Portland, Torrance, and El Paso, encouraging listeners to purchase tickets via adamcarolla.com. Adam wraps up the show with typical banter, leaving listeners anticipating future episodes filled with his characteristic humor and candid discussions.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Giuliani (03:57):
  "They aimed directly at that window from about a block away... they never hit a military target."

• Giuliani (05:27):
  "We are fooling ourselves if we think we can get peace in the Middle East."

• Giuliani (12:57):
  "For 17 months, that was the established truth. And it was a complete lie."

• Giuliani (14:16):
  "They had possession of the laptop 10 months before the debate. They authenticated it in December of 2019 or January of 2020."

• Wife in TikTok (69:57):
  "I charge my partner 10 pounds a day to make his lunch for work."

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Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a blend of intense political discourse with Rudy Giuliani and lighthearted comedic segments. Listeners gain insight into Giuliani's perspectives on alleged political corruption and the dynamics of American politics, while also enjoying Carolla's trademark humor on everyday topics. The juxtaposition of serious allegations with comedic storytelling provides a multifaceted listening experience catering to diverse audience interests.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Well, in this episode, Rudy Giuliani joins us. Yeah, that Rudy Giuliani. And Mayhem's got some news. And we'll do all that right after this.

[Mike Dawson]

The road goes on forever and the party never ends. Especially if your name is Adam Carolla and you love Portland, Oregon. Thursday, August 7th, catch the Ace man at Helium Comedy Club in Portland. Then August 31st at Mom Said yes in Torrance, California. Two shows at 7pm and 9pm and those Torrance, Torrance shows at Mom Said yes, featuring yours truly, Mike Dawson. Then on September 12th and 13th, the ace man heads to El Paso, Texas for four shows at the Comic Strip, Portland, August 7th, Torrance, August 31st and El Paso September 12th and 13th. Get tickets [e-mail].

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV stream now pay Never. Most people would rather assemble a 300 piece cabinet than search for insurance. That's why the zebra searches for you. Comparing over 100 insurance companies to find savings no one else can compare. Today@the zebra.com.

[Adam Carolla]

This episode of the Adam Corolla show is brought to you by SimpliSafe.

[Mike Dawson]

From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Rudy Giuliani. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now his parents ran a non profit, not a charity. They just didn't make any money. Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Mayor Rudy Giuliani is joining us. He is out of the countries. Live from Rome, Italy. On behalf of the NCRI and special guest publicity, we'll get into what he's doing over there. Well, what are you doing over there in Rome?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Well, this is an organization called the ncri, pmoi, mek different countries. Basically, it's a very, very large group of Iranian dissidents who have been in existence for over 40 years. They have had somewhere around 100,000 of their members sacrificed, in other words, killed by the ayatollah. And they are. The best way to describe them to you is they were the ones who discovered that Iran was enriching uranium originally at Natanz Mountain in 22 and then again at Fordo in 25. They are alleged to have worked very closely with the Mossad to this day in finding the scientists who were responsible for this. And you Know, a lot of the attack that was done by the Israelis very surprisingly involved a tremendous infiltration of Iran. Some of the explosions that took place were done not from Israel, but inside Iran.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Particularly the precision explosions. Remember when you would look at a building and you'd see one big window blown out by a missile. It looked like, but only one building of a multi complex apartment building that was the residence of a major nuclear scientist that had been fingered by the Mossad. And they aimed directly at that window from about a block away. So you're saying to yourself, like a shoulder.

[Adam Carolla]

Like a shoulder fire missile.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Maybe, or maybe. Or maybe with. Yeah, yeah, it would be with a shoulder rifle would be the most precise way to do it, but there'd be several other ways, some of which they haven't even disclosed to me. But they were doing it from a very close proximity. They did a lot of that. And that's why you didn't see many Iranian civilians dead. The Iranians just crazy bombed Israel. And they hit civilian targets. They never hit a military target. Israel hit military targets and then went for specific people, not just the scientists. That guy could have been one of the Ayatollah's chief advisors on something. What do you think what they wanted to do.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Do you think what they wanted to do was to take. Take out his infrastructure?

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Do you think there's going to be regime change in Iran?

[Rudy Giuliani]

No doubt about it. It has to be. We are fooling ourselves if we think we can get peace in the Middle East. So long as this is the Islamic Republic of Iran with the goal of capturing the entire Middle east, it doesn't even matter if the Ayatollah is gone and we get a new Ayatollah. This is the second ayatollah is just as bad as the first one. The government is dedicated to becoming an Islamic republic, and they begin with the Middle East. Eventually they want to slow us up. And Israel is their biggest obstacle because Israel is the biggest military power in the Middle East. Bigger than them.

[Adam Carolla]

It seems to me that all these people understand as a punch in the face. I don't see the negotiation part. It never seems to work with these people. And I guess if they want you dead and that's their endgame, then negotiation is sort of futile. It's just about bunker busters now and regime change. Right?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yeah. I mean, I've thought that for some time, Adam. Yeah, this is a new to me. I mean, I've been for regime change for a decade. It seemed to me that negotiations are Wonderful. I think they're great and they can work with most people. I even think negotiations with Xi Jinping and possibly even Putin could work. But this guy is a madman. We've negotiated with him before and he just lies. How many times does he make a.

[Adam Carolla]

Fought negotiation to me is like marriage counseling. And that if both parties would like to have a good marriage, then we can go to counseling. But if one guy is stepping out with a secretary and has no intention of making this thing work, then what are you doing in counter?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yeah, you need what I describe it as. You need something in the middle where they can come together. Here they're mutually exclusive, which is why for 30 to 40 years this whole two state solution has been a mirage. You can't have a two state solution with a state that wants to destroy you.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

And until you get them to the position where they're not teaching their children, starting at 2 years old, death to Israel, death to America, they're not teaching them at 5 how to do that. And then some 50% of them go into Hamas and the other 50% sit back and support it. Maybe you get 10% that don't. You're not going to have the Israelis, who are obviously very, very tough army, tougher maybe than any, but maybe us and one or two others, they're not going to accept a neighbor who is dedicated to killing them. Every day they chant and pray to kill Israel and try to.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. All right. Other subjects, it's all in the news with Obama and the deep state and Brenner and Clapper and all those guys. And it's kind of an interesting inflection point. Those of us who've been sort of following this for a number of years, it's no surprise. Steele dossier, Hillary Clinton, all that kind of stuff. The Obama involvement is probably a little eye raising for a lot of us. Not because we didn't think he was behind it, just because he's a smooth operator who doesn't leave fingerprints and somehow he forgot to put his gloves on a couple of pieces of paper. So that's what it's kind of looking like now. Of course, the Democrats are doing the always nothing to see here. This is lawfare and all that. I wanna show you a clip from Colbert last night, which is Elisa Slotnick was on. Is she a representative or congressperson? Anyway, she used to be in the CIA or the FBI. And they do this thing they do all the time where they go, tell us, is there a deep state? And they go, most of the men and women in the FBI are just hardworking folks. And it's like, yeah, that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about a few people at the top. But this is the answer. This is the campaign. What is her. I'm sorry, give me her title, but we'll play it. Go ahead.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Republicans.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of the people, sort of.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Conspiratorially minded people out there like to think that some of the trouble the.

[Adam Carolla]

United States has is because of what they call the deep state.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Right, okay. And as a former spy, is there, is there a deep state? What do they mean by deep state?

[Lisa Slotnick]

Yeah, I just, I wish people could understand that a lot of the guys that I serve with, guys and gals at the CIA or at the Pentagon where I served, first of all, a lot of them are former military. So you know, if you can't be like pro military and then anti intelligence community and deep state. But a lot of the guys are also like wearing mom jeans and white sneakers on the weekends. Like these are good corn fed people who just want to help their country.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Eaton Ballpark, France.

[Lisa Slotnick]

Well, eat, eating their hot dogs or doing whatever. And there this idea that there's some network of people that are running the world, it's just, it doesn't really match reality. And these people in the dead of night are doing things to protect this country and make sure things don't blow up here. And for me, you know, the way that Trump is going after them is just, it's particular. First of all, it's nasty. Second of all, it's completely counter to our interests to be demoralizing the people that are protecting us.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Mr. Giuliani, your thoughts?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Well, first of all, she's probably one of the reasons why the CIA and the FBI is in the shape that it's in. Of course, most of them are not dishonest, but all you need are a few at the top. How about when they were flying hundreds of millions of dollars in cash over to the ayatollah who then used half of it to kill Americans. Was that a deep state? And Obama's still walking around. I mean, he was paying to get us killed. Let me change the Ayatollah to bin Laden. Suppose he were giving that money to bin Laden. You'd be guilty of treason. He did that. Obama did that for two years before he got caught in the deep of night like the lady. Oh, you think people in the deep of night? Yes, sweetheart, in the deep of night, they're doing it. And obviously you as an agent Never caught it. Which is why you should find something else to do, like read books or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So they do this thing all the time where they go, oh, most of women and men are hardworking, God fearing, ex military. And it's like, of course, nobody said. And by the way, when anyone talks about it, they always carve out that group. They go, most the rank and file are good, hardworking, God fearing Americans. Now, that being said, you got Comey and McCabe and Brennan, guys like that at the top that are trying to affect an election. I don't know how much more evidence they need than these guys were trying to affect the outcome of an election. Yes.

[Rudy Giuliani]

When I hear those names, I think of people who wanted to destroy me. They're the 51 spies who lied who said that I got the hard drive and the computer from the Russians.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

For 17 months. That was the established truth. And it was a complete lie. And they knew it. They knew it because they had sourced it correctly 10 months earlier. So they knew they were lying.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Rudy Giuliani]

And everyone knew they were lying because they couldn't give a single indication of how it was Russian. But everybody wanted to believe them. And that was a malicious thing to do. And during the debate, Biden accused President Trump and me personally of being Russian agents.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

I mean, that's sick. That's sick behavior.

[Adam Carolla]

The good news is about being accused by Biden during the debate is I don't think he was able to say your name.

[Rudy Giuliani]

He got it wrong. You're right.

[Adam Carolla]

He was like Ruby Galliano. Yeah. So that's good.

[Rudy Giuliani]

And your pal Rudy Gallian. You're right, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

So I got good memory for certain things now. So let's just walk through it. The Hunter Biden laptop was real cut and dry. They had possession of the laptop 10 months before the debate. So that notion that they couldn't authenticate something that they had possession of is insane, correct?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yes, they authenticated it, I believe in December of 2019 or January of 2020. That's almost a year before the election. That's 10 months before we ever got possession of it. Okay, so we didn't know it was authentic. They did. I had to go authenticate it for 10 days. I used five FBI agents. I used other people. Look, this was my profession, by the way. I did it a hell of a lot better than agent, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, how did you get possession of it?

[Rudy Giuliani]

John Mack Davis gave it to me. John Mack Davis was the repairman in Delaware that Hunter Biden either in a drug induced state or alcohol induced state Brought it in, John Mac Davis said he could fix it, but he would have to send it back to, I guess, Mac to get some parts and to come back in two weeks. He fixed a computer. Another one gave it to him. And he told him another computer was wasted. You should just throw it away. He gave him a receipt. The receipt says a contract. If you don't come back and take it in 90 days, it becomes the possession of the merchant. He didn't come back in 90 days. It became his possession. When he started to hear this stuff on television about. Particularly about Hunter not talking to his father and his father not talking to Hunter about any of his foreign business, it just didn't ring true to him that these guys had been together for 30 years, go on airplanes to China. They wouldn't talk about his business. So it was now his property. 90 days had passed by. Maybe it was 120 days into it. He wouldn't listen. And the first thing, luckily, he gets is Joe talking about foreign business.

[Adam Carolla]

Really.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Then he finds all kinds of pictures with foreigners. He's got a direction from the number two guy at Parisma, which is the company that gave him a $20 million bribe, saying, I had a great meeting with your father. He worked out our problems for us. Within two days. He did what the FBI still hasn't done, which is nailed, nor did Comer or any of his other people. Do you know the hard drive has an email from Hunter to his psychiatrist in 2019 saying, My father is demented?

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Why did that never come out? I don't know what our people would do in Congress with it. These things would slam them in the face, and I guess they go unconscious. Or they kept saying, is there any proof that Joe Biden got any money? Yeah. You know where the proof comes from? It's in writing from Hunter Biden, who says, I gave half of my income for 30 years to my father, which that amounts to about $30 million.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Giuliani]

I never had evidence that good in a case I Prosecuted. Never.

[Adam Carolla]

And 10% for the big guy.

[Rudy Giuliani]

10% was an extra. 10% was the extra that others got to know about up until then. For 30 years, they kept it to themselves, and Joe got 50%. And the way Hunter got it to him is to pay all the bills, which you can also corroborate to a very large extent. The point that I'm trying to make is even the Republicans are hiding some of the most incriminating stuff on the hard drive. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why you don't have to have this big debate about whether they knew he was demented. 2019, they said they knew he was demented. You don't have a debate about whether Joe got money. The prime co conspirator admits it. It's called an admission. Comes in evidence like that in a court and a judge tells the jury it's powerful evidence. It's really just tragic.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the news, obviously, the mainstream media worked overtime to try to squash kill the story. And they really, I mean, one of them couldn't have done it without the other. At first it took the politicians, but the politicians couldn't have pulled it off, meaning the Democrats without the complicit media really circling all the wagons and going into full court press like they really went at it hard. So one hand washed the other. And I suppose a lot of comedian comedians, a lot of politicians, a lot of politicians sort of lick their finger and put it in the air and say, look, do I really want a hit piece on me from the New York Times and do I really want to hit piece on me?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Right on target.

[Adam Carolla]

I want all this flack. I'm just going to lay low. I don't want to stick my neck out. It was. A lot of it took place during COVID I mean, the same mentality. Do you really want to stick your head out and start talking about if masks are effective and get attacked by everybody, or you just want to put the mask on and shut up? That's basically what we're dealing with.

[Rudy Giuliani]

That gives you the kind of sense of who we have in politics.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

And how courageous they are and how little they love their country because God forbid they're going to take a political hit but do something good for their country. I mean, even before you get to the possible corruption with the miscounting of the votes and the machines and whatever, they fixed the election when they squashed the hard drive. I mean, that's information that was startling. We never had any information like that in a campaign before. And it was a complete shutout. If you want to talk about a deep state, that's your deep state. It includes the media and the crooked politicians like Brennan and Clapper and I call him James Cardinal Comey and all of these phonies.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Do you think. What do you think the exposure is for a lot of those guys, including Obama? And I know it's a subject, you know, well, and there's, you know, there's pardons, but then there's the auto pen and who was in control the auto pen and can we unpardon somebody? If the pardon was given by the auto pen and Joe Biden wasn't in the position mentally to basically okay it or not.

[Rudy Giuliani]

On the Obama thing, he does get the benefit of the immunity decision. That benefits Trump. The only difference is his actions continued. I'm talking about Obama after he was president. A lot of the damage done to Trump, the worst damage was done when Trump was president. Like the phony impeachment based upon false testimony, which we know was false, paid for by the Democratic Party.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? So let's just walk it back for a second. Obama is in office and he's on his way out of office. And so there's two layers to this. One is let's use this to not get Trump elected, but if he is elected, let's taint his presidency and get him mired in this scandal to make him as ineffective as humanly possible. And Obama, on his way out, is the one who got the original report on whether Russia had tampered with the election. It didn't seem like there was enough meat on the bone for him. So he said, send it back. Make me another one that looks more like Russia got involved and wanted to help Trump, and then I'll push that out into the media and then we can mire his presidency and scandal. And what you're saying is, is Obama wasn't president for the second part of that. And how does that work?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Well, he wasn't president and still involved in it. You know who described it best? Peter Strzok. Sometime around September, October 2020, before the election takes place, they finished their preliminary investigation, and he says to his girlfriend on the phone, there's no there there, right? And she says something like, that crooked SOB is going to become president. And Strzok said, don't worry, we have an insurance policy. This gives us an insurance policy.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

What that meant was they're going to step back for a little bit. They're going to dress it up, even have meetings in the White House doing that, and then they're going to resurface it once he becomes president as an impeachment. So what was the impeachment about? Collusion with the Russians, like the hard drive. They knew it wasn't true. They had already investigated it twice and come to the conclusion there was no substance to it. Obama knew it wasn't true. Brennan knew it wasn't true. Comey knew it wasn't true. Hillary paid for it. She knew it wasn't true, and they all participated in it. So I Don't see how he gets presidential immunity for the things he does afterward to carry the conspiracy forward. That would be a heck of a ruling by the Supreme Court. It would mean a president commit crimes for the rest of his life. Well, he'd get out of the White House and do whatever you want.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they were just claiming that with Trump, like he was going to, you know, start serial killings.

[Rudy Giuliani]

However you interpret. However you interpret their decision, no matter how broad you make it. And to encompass Obama, you'd have to make it even broader than Trump's. But let's say they do that. They did not talk about immunity after being president. In fact, they may have. I got to go back and look at it and say you don't have it after you're president.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Mike Dawson]

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[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay never. Most people would rather attend a corporate team building workshop than search for auto and home insurance.

[Adam Carolla]

Go team. Feel that synergy.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

That's why the zebra searches for you. Comparing over 100 insurance companies to find savings. No one else can Compare. [e-mail] who's ready for the trust fall?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So what I would say to Lisa Slotnick, Democrat, Michigan, newly elected from Michigan, who goes on Colbert. No. When Strzok and Comey and all these people are having these late night conversations about insurance policies going forward if we lose, by the way, it's not your election to win or lose. You're not supposed to be biased here. We're not talking about the guy in the Oregon field office who's running down some antifa lead. We're not talking about him. We're talking about a handful of people. And by the way, nobody ever does that when they're talking about factories and big corporations. No one ever talks about the guys on the line, on the assembly line, down on the floor. They're talking about the corrupt guys in the corner office. Those are the guys. Yes. To say you don't understand that, that means you're being intellectually dishonest.

[Rudy Giuliani]

100% on purpose. Because it's almost like that thing about, you know, once you lie, you have to continue to lie to cover up your lie.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Well, I think this thing is part of a whole package which is keep Trump out and if he gets in, throw him out and don't let him back. It's one entire book and it has about seven or eight chapters of which Russian collusion was one. Hiding the hard drive is another one. January 6th being exaggerated into being worse than September 11th is another one.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

How about. How about taking them off the ballot because of an insurrection, which was insane. How about the four criminal cases against one person in one year? I don't think one person has ever been indicted four times in one year and none of them amount to anything. They all amount to bs. And what about shooting at them? That's the one that really gets me. I have a hard time believing they did everything they could do, but there's no involvement either with Iran or somebody else. Too many people had a motive to kill him.

[Adam Carolla]

An assassination attempt. Yeah.

[Rudy Giuliani]

I warned him a year before I warned him a year before I, Bernie Kerik, who's now passed on, warned the President, you gotta be really careful because these people are morally bankrupt. And Bernie actually asked me because I was resistant. He said, do you think they could kill him? I said, I don't know. He said, haven't they done everything else?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Isn't it morally equivalent? I said, yep, yep. Donna Fernie, you're right.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, who are we talking about and what do they have to lose. Like, all right, they say he's hit Larian and we're gonna lose our democracy. But they're lying and they don't believe it. But yet they'll go to lengths that may involve jail time to keep him out. So what are they protecting? Is it just a status quo sort of all the non governmental agencies where the money just gets lost and it gets funneled everywhere? Is it like a purely financial thing?

[Rudy Giuliani]

They're protecting, first of all, they're protecting the real possibility they'll go to jail for the rest of their lives. I mean, these are people who know they're committing crimes. These are not insane people, except maybe Biden, I guess. But they know they're committing a crime. They know the crime they're committing. So they know that if the country ever straightened out and became fair again, they'd go to jail for very, very long periods. Yeah, but they could be making a lot of money. But they could make a lot of money at them.

[Adam Carolla]

I get it. But they committed the crime in the first place. Like why commit the crime in the first place?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Well, why commit? To keep mouth. Because they don't want to give up. They don't want to give up this great gig they have. And that's what you really mean by the deep state? The deep state is all the bribe money that goes into a defense contract, all the kickbacks, all the money that the lobbyists are making and throwing around the fact that everybody seems to go into the Congress and the Senate goes in poor and comes out a multimillionaire. One guy just left now and he's worth 120 million. The Pelosi's are probably worth more than Gates from insider trading. I mean, this is not. There are a couple of them that are totally straight, but if they go in there and they get the bug, they become like organized criminals.

[Adam Carolla]

Big money, right?

[Rudy Giuliani]

So how about a Congressman representing a poor Black district for 25 years? The Black district gets no money and the Congressman leaves worth 25 million.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Rudy Giuliani]

This guy stole from his own people. He took money from his own people.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I guess whether it's that or California spending 24 billion on homelessness, nothing ever comes out the other end. And it's very telling. I guess it's all just money. I guess that's how we're doing this.

[Rudy Giuliani]

It's money. And it's the psychological thing that happens with power and influence and importance.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

A lot of these people, A lot of these people are really extremely insecure people. But in any event, I have to go back to my Iranian duties. They get completely decimated by the same people that go after Trump because there's some kind of a sick relationship between certain portions of the Democratic Party and the Ayatollah. How can it be that Obama sent him hundreds of millions in cash? Why would an American president send the head of a country that's the biggest sponsor of terrorism in the world? Money in cash. And at the time, they were killing Americans with Soleimani, who eventually Trump got rid of. The American president is telling everybody to keep it secret, do it in the middle of the night, but send the biggest sponsor of terrorism in the world $100 million.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, literally do it in cash. Pallets of cash.

[Rudy Giuliani]

A fortune. I would say if you do an analysis of Iran, the biggest contributor to the reign of terror to the Islamic Republic of Iran is the United States of America. Nobody's giving him that kind of money. And then when Biden would loosen up the money that was confiscated, that's all money that was stolen from the Iranian people by the shah. That's money. He shouldn't be giving that money to a terrorist. It's the same thing, just not as brazen. Now, he gave him about 100 billion. 100 billion.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, how much?

[Rudy Giuliani]

How much money? That was taken. Yeah, from the crooked shah, who was a massive thief. Maybe he wasn't as bad as they were, but he killed his share of people and he stole a fortune.

[Adam Carolla]

How much of this is antisemitism versus. You know, here the left is very. If you're brown, you're oppressed, you know, and somehow, if you're successful and your neighbor isn't, it must be because you're suppressing your neighbor. That's the basic thought. So you got the nice house on the block. That's Israel. You work hard, you're religious, and you focus on education and family. Your neighbor is not flourishing. And according to the Democrats here, the one with the nice house who works hard must be punished, and something must be taken away from them and given to the neighbors.

[Rudy Giuliani]

That's a very, very worthy premise. And I do think that the left wing has done a very, very good job of making Israel the oppressor. And then all the people that hate us and want to kill us, the oppressed, because it makes no sense. If you look at the last 15 years, a lot of people complain who are anti Semitic, or maybe not even. We give too much money to Israel. We gave Iran 50 times more than we gave Israel. We gave Ukraine 30 times more than we give Israel. And Israel is our best ally. Who the heck ever did for us what Israel just did? Israel basically cleaned out all the bushes so we could just go hit Iran straight on. We could not have been as successful as we were if they hadn't spent a year just whacking the hell out of them, getting rid of their air force, getting rid of their air defenses. We sent, you know, a third of an air force over Iran and they didn't even shoot back at us because they couldn't. And we weren't bombing them before Israel was. So this is a real partner. This is a real, this is a army you want to go to war with because they're going to be value added. They're not going to be like the French who sometimes say they're going to fight and sometimes they don't fight.

[Adam Carolla]

What's your take on Putin? See, the notion that Putin wanted Trump to be the president is already flawed to me. When you take a look at the whole story with the, you know, Putin's rooting for Trump. Why would he root for Trump? He would want someone sort of docile, dumb and inert like Kamala Harris or Hillary Clinton. Cuz what they want is status quo. All the bad people want to just keep doing business. They don't want to be. Whether you're dealing drugs and you're, you know, a cartel at the border, or whether you're doing whatever you're doing in your rogue nation, you want to be left alone. You're essentially, you're in a prison. There's a warden who will never leave his office and you can keep making pruno in your toilet and you'll never be interrupted and dealing drugs and everything else, that'll be fine. Or you can get a new warden who's law and order and that guy's gonna be walking the halls and you don't want that guy. So the idea that they're trying to get Trump elected is flawed. They wanted with Biden, with Kamala Harris, with Hillary Clinton, it's business as usual. Biden's not gonna get involved with any of this stuff.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yeah, well, Biden was the best thing that ever happened to Putin. I don't think he even realized how great it would be when Biden first came in. But then after he watched him a little, I mean, if you and I could see that the guy was demented and if in fact the hard drive has indications of it. For example, Hunter telling his psychiatrist in 2019, My father's demented. He doesn't know what the hell he's doing. You don't think the Russians picked that up.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

I mean, they wouldn't be a worthy adversary if they did. They knew exactly how sick he was. They were just licking their lips, waiting for him to come in. And I think that's what Secretary Gabbard has been able to pull out, that he may have been making certain indications that he supported Trump, but he was basically 100% supporting Hillary and Biden. He had. On September, it's 18th or 19th of 2016, Putin had a very big choice to make. He had a dossier about this big, a real one, from his intelligence service, and it was, hillary Clinton is very sick and she's taking a lot of very, very powerful mind altering drugs. He knew if he released that he could kill her candidacy. He held it back, never put it out.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

We have it now.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

But it was sitting there. That was produced by the. That was produced by Russian intelligence. Hacking her, hacking the Democratic National Committee.

[Adam Carolla]

He never said the Steele dossier was a fake either.

[Rudy Giuliani]

He knew it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but he never said anything.

[Rudy Giuliani]

He knew that too.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. That's the point.

[Rudy Giuliani]

He could have quashed the whole thing in a second. You know the other thing he could have done? He could have put out tapes that would approve the. The Hunter Biden. Hunter Biden, Joe Biden, bribes in Ukraine. He had all those tapes. He has tapes of conversations. I'll even give you the date. Approximately In February of 2020, there are four conversations that go on for about an hour each between Biden and the president of the Ukraine, Poroshenko. Some of those conversations have leaked, and they involve Biden approving the new prosecutor, giving him advice on how the case should be handled. Putin has the entire tape. He could have put that out in a second. It would have absolutely destroyed Biden. And same thing with Zelensky. Zelensky's got all those tapes. Every time he wanted money from Joe, he'd say, joe, you know, Giuliani didn't put out all the pictures. There are a lot more, baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yeah. Zelensky's got everything on Biden. Everything.

[Adam Carolla]

The FBI. Yeah. So anyway, just to distill it down, not only was Trump not Putin's puppet or Cat's Ball, Putin would have much rather had Kamala or Biden or Hillary Clinton because he could continue doing his business as usual.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yeah. Isn't the best answer to that? Putin invaded three times under the last four presidents. Bush, Obama, Biden. Who does he skip? Trump.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Gotta mean he's scared of him now. He's in a different position because he's already got what he wanted. But I think he's making a big mistake. And I think he's gonna. Ultimately, I think Putin's gonna cave. So take a little change of strategy, but I think he'll cave.

[Adam Carolla]

The FBI raided your home or your office?

[Rudy Giuliani]

Both.

[Adam Carolla]

Both. And my law office. Your law office.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Law office. Which is unthinkable.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And then they were looking for what? And then didn't you offer Hunter Biden laptop material? And they didn't take it.

[Rudy Giuliani]

The subpoena said specifically they should take every piece of electronic equipment in my apartment. They really wanted my cell phones and emails and all that. So I had a lot of electronic equipment, including from friends of mine. I was doing. I was doing a lot of my radio show home because it was Covid. So a lot of equipment. We lined it all up on my dining room table because I helped them. We lined it all up on my dining room table. And I'm identifying it. That's my computer. That's my computer. That's my ex wife's computer. That's my friend's computer. We get to the end. And I had reorganized it so the two hard jobs were at the end. We get to the end. I said, you know something? Now you guys are going to get something big. This is going to make your careers. This is the first incriminating thing you're going to walk out with. But it's powerful. They're looking at you like, what the hell is it?

[Adam Carolla]

What's the date, by the way this happened?

[Rudy Giuliani]

This is about 2022 or 2021. 2021. Springtime. So I say to them, I can give you either the Hunter Biden hard drive without the child pornography, or I'll give you the one with the child pornography. If you want both, you can have both. Just let me make a copy. They say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not authorized to take that. I say, you're authorized to take electronics. That's electronic.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Why aren't you taking it? We don't want it.

[Adam Carolla]

So they never took.

[Rudy Giuliani]

A year and a half later. A year and a half later, Adam. A year and a half later, they had to write a letter to the grand jury saying that after investigating all that they took from my law office from me, and 20 years of my business life, they ruined, they had no probable cause that I committed a crime. So how the hell do they have probable cause to raid my apartment if they. What are they losing? Who put them lost A drive into the head.

[Adam Carolla]

Who put them up to that? And also, can you give me the date that happened again? I didn't quite follow. 2021.

[Rudy Giuliani]

I'll get you the exact date. I can't remember the exact date. It was in the spring of 2021.

[Adam Carolla]

The spring of 20 or 21.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Okay, 2021.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'm sorry. 2021.

[Rudy Giuliani]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a brain part. Yeah, 21. All right. The spring of 21. I got it now. Sorry.

[Rudy Giuliani]

I mean, Biden actually wrote a letter a year before to the press telling them by name not to put me on. Remember, I was the one who first revealed his criminality way back in 2018. I went to the Ukraine. I got all the evidence. I had the witnesses. So he had me in mind. I revealed his criminality. And now I'm all of a sudden the guy that shows up with a hard drive. He wanted me shut up.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Destroyed and shut up. But we'll do that another time. I've got to run back and finish my speech.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Rudy Giuliani]

It was a real pleasure talking to you.

[Adam Carolla]

It was good Talking to you, Mr. Giuliani. I'll give you a plug.

[Rudy Giuliani]

I'll do it again. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.

[Adam Carolla]

End of the show.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Rudy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, Rudy, we'll do it again because so much more to talk about. Thanks for your time. I appreciate it.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Thank you, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Great inter O'Reilly Auto Parts. Love me some O'Reilly. Yeah, they keep your car on the road and they're good people and they're like polite. I told you, they know stuff. It's not like everything else, which is just you go in, you're on your own. Go find it. Figure out what aisle it's in. Figure out whether it's right for you. These guys hire people that know their business. They're passionate about O'Reilly Auto Parts. They offer friendly, helpful service and the parts knowledge you need to maintain and repair your vehicle. And you know, these days cars are expensive. Let's keep them on the road as long as we can. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll find the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are knowledgeable, helpful, and best of all, they are friendly. So stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us online at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

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[Mike Dawson]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

Getting back to the statutory rape rap, one of your least favorite bands, the Beastie Boys. If I play guitar, I beat Jimmy Page. The girlies I like are under age.

[Mike Dawson]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[Adam Carolla]

So we're doing thing to sing about and to, like, underscore, like, in life. Like, if you just went like, well. And so the excuse is like, well, I know it's illegal and I know it's a horrible scourge. I would never do it. But I just sing about it and be like, what if I just did that with racism or herpes or something like that. Like, I'll just take a bad thing like 911 or something, and I'm not for it. I don't condone it, but I'll just sing about it all the time. It's kind of a weird conceit and glorify it, you know?

[Unknown]

911 was pretty sweet.

[Adam Carolla]

Pretty sweet. And then when people cornered me, I'd go, oh, no, no, no. I lost many friends during 9 11.

[Unknown]

Like, I just.

[Adam Carolla]

You're misconstruing, but it's catching. 911 is pretty sweet. You miss that one. You miss, I have no black friends. But that's not me saying I have no black friends. That's me singing about it. It's weird.

[Unknown]

The Chinese are feared also.

[Adam Carolla]

The other thing too is As a dude, 18, you know, like at 18, like, if you treated a woman like an avocado. Okay. Are you listening?

[Unknown]

I'm listening.

[Adam Carolla]

I never thought about this, but when you get an avocado, a new avocado can be hard. It's not ready.

[Unknown]

Not ready.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not ready yet.

[Unknown]

That's a prepubescent, right?

[Adam Carolla]

That's a young woman. Not ready. No good to me. Yeah, I like avocados. Not this one. Hard. No good. Too soon, right? But then you leave them in a paper bag too long out on the counter. Now start getting brown.

[Unknown]

Old retirement home.

[Adam Carolla]

That's old. No good. No use to me. That's no use to me. Right? There's a sweet spot with the avocado, right? But that sweet spot isn't 15. That sweet spot is like 19, man. Like, that's the best avocado age right there. You know what I'm saying? Like, why would I Want it to be a little bit hard and a little bit chewy, you know what I'm saying? I get it. You don't want it to be brown avocado in the nursing home, but you don't want hard avocado with no pubes or. You know what I'm saying? You want sweet spot guacamole avocado. And that ain't 15, it's night. It's. It's 19. So why do you even want that? You know, like, why you. Why you underlying still in school?

[Unknown]

Freshman avocados.

[Adam Carolla]

No freshman avocado. You want good guac potential. So my whole thing is like, if somebody ever said to me, no matter how old I was, would you like to lay down with a forget about legalities, you want a 15 year old girl or you want a 19 year old girl? Look, give me the 19. It's not like they start falling apart at 17 and a half or something. I don't know. Who's the best looking person in the world. I mean, what? I don't know. Who's the hot chick now?

[Unknown]

Zendaya.

[Adam Carolla]

Zendaya. All right, I don't know. What's Zendaya? 28. Fine. She's no brown avocado.

[Unknown]

She's a squishy avocado.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Sydney Sweeney. All right, of course, how old is.

[Unknown]

Sydney Sweeney is getting on in age, but you know, she's not ready to toss.

[Adam Carolla]

She's not a brown avocado. Yeah. I'm just saying, why do we even have to go back to high school? You can't. Who doesn't want a chick who's like.

[Unknown]

I bought all those songs just trying to be edgy, you know what I mean? Like, get people talking. Oh, did you hear what they said? You know, high school is traditionally a time where we kind of romanticize it. So.

[Adam Carolla]

Cindy Sweeney's 27. Did you need to have her at 15 and a half or could you take this version of her? I'd be all right with this version of her, you know, pointy elbow. You know, she was engaged like until like a few months ago. Yeah, I didn't know that.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah, somebody murdered her fiance.

[Adam Carolla]

They broke it off. But how many. That guy?

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, there's two kinds of masturbation a guy can engage in. There's a front windshield type of masturbation, and then there's a rear view masturbation. You know what I'm saying?

[Unknown]

Oh, don't I ever.

[Adam Carolla]

I tend to like, I'm like a front window windshield Kind of masturbator, but occasionally I'll take a peek up.

[Unknown]

Yeah, you know, you want to look back in the window.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You want to take a look in that rear view to see if anyone's tailgating you. I'm just saying he's got to spend a lot of time in that rear view mirror. Oh, yeah, a lot of time.

[Unknown]

Yeah, definitely. But, I don't know. Type of dude that pulls Sidney Sweeney probably ain't hurting for ladies in the other arena, you know what I'm saying? He's a man about town right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, I have, you know, I watched my fair share of tmz, and he didn't look like anything too special. But the way women work, once they find out you were with someone who was hot, then you can be with as many hot people.

[Unknown]

I can attest to that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, It's a Pete Holmes kind of situation.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, let's see. Okay, let me ask you about this.

[Rudy Giuliani]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

See? Okay, I did something yesterday. A couple days ago, actually. I realized sometimes I stop and I think about stuff that, like my dad or my family, my parents would never do in 100 million. Not years, lifetimes. 100 million lifetimes. My dad would never do this, which is. I heard about this app. There's an app for everything now where they buy reservations at fancy restaurant tables and they sell them to you. And I thought, how's that? My girlfriend was talking to me about it. I said, well, how's that work? Cause it's gotta be more on a Saturday night. It's gotta be more for four people than two people. It's gotta be more at Nobu than it is at Arby's, you know, I said, well, let's see how this thing works. I said, the Nobu is up the street. Can't never get a reservation there. And what would it be if we said, Wednesday night, 8 o', clock, could you get a table with this app? How does it work? How much does it? And I think she said, you make a bid, and they either accept it or they don't. It's one more way to fucking take money away.

[Unknown]

Blind bid, then.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so I think the bid was 75 bucks. It's basically like saying, you want to pay 75 bucks to eat it? Nobu.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then you can pay them. But that's basically it. Otherwise, you got to wait six months or whatever it is. So I said, yeah. All right, try it out. So sure enough, we got a reservation at Nobu. Now, my dad would never go to Nobu, but he would never pay 75.

[Unknown]

75 bucks for the privilege, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

75 bucks. He would have said to me, we can go to the Sizzler four and a half times for that fucking money. Which would expand about 10 years. So then I go in there and there's a couple which looks like a mom, it's a sugar, it looks like a little sugar baby dude and his old lady. I mean there seemed to be like a 40 year old distance and time, but I don't know if they're living together, what it is, but they, they were inside of Nobu and they both had a dog inside and a long fur dog and they're both just sitting there. Now, I don't know where you come down on dogs and I don't want any dogs on in any eating establishments whatsoever. But if, if you're running a falafel place, like, all right, maybe sushi is weird because sushi's very open faced and raw. You know what I mean? Like sushi's a lot of. Any dander is going right to that, that sushi.

[Unknown]

I think I'm on the same side as you because. Because of that open situation where a dog fur can just float right up right on top of your sashimi.

[Adam Carolla]

They're both medium sized, very long haired dogs and they're both. And first off, these people go to Nobu with their dogs and they don't acknowledge the dogs the whole fucking time.

[Unknown]

That's a rich guy privilege thing too though. There's certain people just bring their dog wherever they go because you know what I mean? No one tells them no.

[Adam Carolla]

First off, why do you even want to burden yourself with the care of your dog when you're at Nobu? Like, wouldn't you just say to whoever put the fucking dogs in the back and shut the door, I don't want to. I want to eat.

[Unknown]

No, but dog people are psycho. Like, they really love that. It's not a burden at all to them.

[Adam Carolla]

They're like, what about the people in the next table who don't want your dog with. What about they don't exist?

[Unknown]

If you're a dog psycho, you're really. You don't even see any other human. You just keep your nose lodged firmly up your dog's butt.

[Adam Carolla]

How about a little enforcement?

[Unknown]

I mean, I'm with a lot of you know where nobody fucking dog out of here. Like nowhere to say it.

[Adam Carolla]

You know where Nobu is? It's right against the beach. Hoity toity it's illegal to bring your dog on the beach, but you can bring your dog in and sit amongst people eating sushi and retain your ABE rating. Oh, God, I hate them. I hate them.

[Unknown]

I love dogs. But, man, there is a damn dividing line. Nice restaurant.

[Adam Carolla]

What if there's people who are allergic to dogs? I mean, look, it's not. Look, they're fucking nuts, and they're narcissists, and they're narcissa nuts, okay? If you manage no boo, can you just go, sorry, policy. No dog. You just do that. And by the way, let's just say you lose these two crackpots. There's a line around the block to get that place every night.

[Unknown]

True, I think. But this customer service type, you know, appreciate. Like, if you spend that much money on sushi, they want you going and raving to all the rest of your dog friends.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know why I thought about this the other day, and I don't know. You know, it's weird when you have thoughts you've never had in your entire life, and then you have them all, right? It's kind of like once in a while. Well, I brought up Arby's, and so rb. What does that mean? Oh, roast beef. And you go, oh, does everyone know that? How come I never do that?

[Unknown]

Epiphany.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this is a weird one. I thought about. I kept passing the lifeguard tower. I'd say that, and I was making fun of it and talking about the ending, hate at the beach and all that kind of stuff. And then I just started thinking the other day, I thought, lifeguard tower. Tower. It's a pretty liberal use of the word tower. It's four feet off the ground. First off, I don't know any tower you can just jump off of onto the sand and be fine. A tower suggests, like, a power, you know, broken femur way the fuck up in the air. Like dead tower towers. Again, it's four feet above the sand, and you don't need a ladder. You can just walk up a piece of plywood and be at the top of the tower. I don't feel like it's also. It's a gardener shed just made out of plywood. Just sit. It really embodies no tower characteristics. It's like when they talk about the whatever tower in Dubai. 500 stories with a pool on the top. This is not that it has none of the qualities of a tower.

[Unknown]

It's a glorified outhouse.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a raised outhouse. It's like if a Sears gardening shed and an outhouse had a tall child, it would be a lifeguard tower. And I don't like. I suggest we have to call it.

[Unknown]

We don't have a name for it though, Ace. Like, you know, it's not quite a shed and it's not quite a tower.

[Adam Carolla]

Lifeguard kiosk. That's what I like. It is not a tower. It's not. You don't even need stairs to get. What tower do you not need an elevator or stairs to get on? It's a ramp of plywood with pieces of one by two screwed to it like every 14 inches, just so you get a little traction. There's nothing, there's nothing towering about those things at all.

[Unknown]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

I work at Lifeguard Tower number 27. I think it's to help the self esteem of the lifeguards a bit.

[Unknown]

I mean, they're usually young guys. You want to pump them up early, you know, get them over the hump, get them into the workforce.

[Adam Carolla]

There was a TV movie starring Sam Elliott as a hot lifeguard.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. It was called Lifeguard, all right. And he was like the tough, grizzled lifeguard, of course, the young buck coming up. Like, we used to do movies like that, like. And you'd watch and go, man, this lifeguard, man, that's a pretty important position right there.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Look at him.

[Adam Carolla]

He's got his own tower. He's got to tell. Hope he doesn't get hit by an airplane in that thing, man. Hope he's got lights on that thing. Lifeguard.

[Unknown]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Is this Sam Elliott starring?

[Rudy Giuliani]

This?

[Unknown]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's Sam Elliott and I don't know who plays the younger. Maybe it's God, what's his name? Maybe it was. Shit, who's in the movie? But it was a TV movie. Lifeguard. Every girl's summer dream. Lifeguard. What year, what year was this?

[Unknown]

If I could just live in that poster, man, just for a blink of this summer.

[Adam Carolla]

First off, it was like, listen, we're making a poster. What do we need? Well, we don't need a bunch of black and brown people, but we do need a lot of titties. So that's how they rolled back in the 70s.

[Unknown]

And what are we gonna do about the crotch? Oh, we'll just give a hint. Just a hint. Spiraling down towards your summer dream.

[Adam Carolla]

Was this a in theater movie? 1976.

[Unknown]

That is a poster. I know you see that outside of AMC Theater in 73.

[Adam Carolla]

For some reason I thought this one was a TV movie, but it was kind of bright, you know. Brian's Song was a TV movie that ended up in theaters or something. Who's in lifeguard? I want to know.

[Unknown]

Sam Elliot, like he said.

[Adam Carolla]

The trailer's ready. Even better. All right, good. The trailer's ready for lifeguard. They better not call it a tower. It's a theater movie. Sam Elliott. There he is. This is what Southern California used to be. Not Fentanyl and hobo shitting in the street. Place just burned down. It was good looking. White people just getting it on half naked. And also it'd be a lot of like, he's a lifeguard girl. He's the best summer dream lifeguard.

[Unknown]

Man, my panties.

[Adam Carolla]

Many girls. Hi. Hi. Hey. Hi. Aren't you a lifeguard down at the beach? Down at the beach. Probably didn't have.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, him. Yeah. Nurses, secretaries, the school teachers.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Nobody's better than bed that I am.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, pause it for a second.

[Unknown]

First off, yeah, it's awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta understand, pre Internet porn, pre VHS tape. Pre porn. I know, they just go. You go, well, what's this movie about? I don't know.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Who cares?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what's the plot? Who gives a fuck? We got chicks, they got their bikini. You want to see titty or don't you want to see titty? Yeah. Okay. Well, then watch this. Made 5 million in the box office. He drives a Corvette. It's also weird that it's Sam Elliott. I mean.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And that fluff of chest hair just doesn't quit, man. He's like a fuzzy toy.

[Adam Carolla]

He's like tube steak. It's what's for dinner. Who is that dude? That's the Hardy Boy guy. That's the what's it name guy who was married to what's her nose from the thing with the stuff.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Keep it. What is that guy's name? He was. Oh, God. He was married to Kirstie Alley.

[Rudy Giuliani]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

And. Well, I don't know. Andrew, I've had 20 minutes. You have the cast of this movie or. We got it. Steven Young. Keep going. Is that Steven? No, it's not Steven Young. Who's next? I don't even know who Steven Young is. Who was married to Kirstie Alley. You can just play it. Go ahead. Sorry. Yep. Nurses, secretaries, school teachers.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Nobody's better in bed than I am.

[Adam Carolla]

That's your problem. Wild Men. Ricky Carlson, the living legend. Yeah, something like that. I want to make love with you. Will you stay tonight? Hold on. That's as far as I can tell. Whoa. As far as I can tell, we're about three quarters into this and I don't know what this movie's about other than he a lot of chicks that go to the beach.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is. I guess the movie got. Back it up. Had some nice titties back there. A little bit.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, here we go. I want to make love to you. Oh, It's a big relay race. You okay? I just swallowed some water. You're not a kid at the beach anymore. Oh, well, I'm doing what I want to do. I'll pause it all right here. Where's the conflict? Rich dad. Rich dad's gotta chime in.

[Unknown]

There's also a full minute left of this trip.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Well, now the conflict. It's not all about bed and the beachgoers. There's the dad. You could enter my law firm, son. Hey, man, I don't wear a suit to work. I wear a bathing suit to work. Okay, man.

[Unknown]

I'm doing what I want.

[Rudy Giuliani]

I'm doing what I want, bruh.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I had to have a nice dose of that in the 70s. Plug play on. You're not a kid at the beach anymore. Well, I'm doing what I want to do.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Hey, man, you're too far out. Come on back. This is a lifeguard.

[Adam Carolla]

You're scared I'll make trouble for you? What are you trying to do, kill yourself? Yes. You're not gonna do it on my beach.

[Rudy Giuliani]

How long can you go on being a light gone?

[Adam Carolla]

Just as long as they'll have me. Time. Time. You're rolling.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Rhythms.

[Unknown]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Tai chi on the beach. Beautiful ladies. Hard times move slowly but the good times move so fast. The good times move so fast. Roll on time. That's a good movie.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God. I want to go back in time.

[Adam Carolla]

And watch Summer Dream.

[Mike Dawson]

Lifeguard Don La Fontaine.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, Dawson. Why don't you try laying down that last one? Because I think you obviously born too late. What did he say again? Late. Let's play it. Every Girl's Summer Dream.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yeah.

[Mike Dawson]

Every Girl's Summer Dream. Sam Elliot, lifeguard.

[Adam Carolla]

Parker Stevens is the name of that guy. Thanks for the help. All right. That's a real movie. That was a real movie. Unbelievable. Well, and by the way, I love it, man. No VCRs, no laserdiscs, no streaming platforms, no nothing at the Corolla house. There's no. We didn't have anything. We had three stations and we didn't have air conditioning. And there was no porn. So what movie you want to see on Saturday, man? Lifeguard. They got air conditioning and titties and that five on it. All right, what do you got, by.

[Mike Dawson]

The way, real quick? Lifeguard tower. The definition of a tower is just a structure that is higher than it is wide.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, what the hell. All right, so every woman is a tower. There you go. I'm sorry, I know that's the technical. But now I don't even know if those things are taller than they are wide. But now, considering we've redefined tower. All right, anyway, transmitting tower and radio station. All right, all right, what do you got?

[Unknown]

Oh, got some news. The latest is that wife blasted for making husband's lunches and then charging them for them. She's putting her money in her pocket instead. Yeah, check this TikTok out.

I charge my partner 10 pound a day to make his lunch for work. If he's gonna go and spend 10 pound at McDonald's, Gregg's, wherever it may be, and put money in a stranger's pocket, why not put money in my pocket instead? It does seem to be a bit of a controversial topic, but it makes sense to me. Let's be honest. Nothing in life comes free anymore. Not even a paper bag. So if you have happy to go and pay the woman in Greg's for your lunch, then pay the woman that you love for your lunch. That way everyone's happy. He's fed and happy, and I'm paid and happy. On the menu for lunch today, he has got a peri peri chicken salad. I've cooked him a chicken breast seasoned in peri peri seasoning. And then for salad, he's got lettuce, cucumber, tomato and red onion. And then just to bulk the salad out a little bit more, I've given him some cheesy coleslaw and two boiled eggs. Is it just me or does anyone else really struggle with ideas of things to make men for their lunch? Anytime I ask him, he hasn't got a clue what he wants. I'm gonna be honest, he's not the easiest person to please. He's a bit of a force part, but every now and then he is quite partial to a nice salad. So I thought that's what I'll make him today. It's a bit healthier than the usual and I can confirm he approved. He sent me a message at work saying it was absolutely beautiful. No idea what I'm gonna make him for lunch tomorrow, but we'll get stressed out about that tomorrow. But, yeah, that is what he's got for lunch. He has also got a cereal bar for the morning, a chocolate bar as a snack, and two cans of Tango.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, who are all these bitches? How come I never met one?

[Unknown]

She charged them 10 pound a day. It's a 1352 in American.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm fine with it. Yeah, Yeah, I don't, you know, I. Look, I mean, it kind of depends. As long as the, the money is kind of circulating within the walls of the home, that's a good thing. When you go outside, like to Nobu, then it gets outside of your house then. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Well, interestingly, like it has 200,000 views and interesting enough. Like a lot of ladies are saying you wouldn't charge them 10 bucks if you loved them.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I mean, I don't know what their situation is. Here's my thing. Everybody needs to contribute. And sometimes you can't contribute to the extent that the other person contributes because the other person makes a lot of money.

[Rudy Giuliani]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And my thing has never been.

[Rudy Giuliani]

I.

[Adam Carolla]

Don'T need my dollars matched dollar for dollar. I was always looking for between 2 and 7 cents return on my dollar, but I used to get zero return on my dollar and I didn't like that. I was willing to go 4 cents to the dollar, but not no cents to the dollar, meaning I'll pay for the in n out. But when you go to in n out, do not forget to get this guy one. Except for you do. So I always want a little, little bang, little taste. And I was, I got my lesson early on. The only functional, semi functional relationship I ever saw in my family was my grandma and my grandfather. And my grandmother worked all day at the va and she hated every second of it. And she made sure that my grandfather knew it. You know what I mean? Like, the alarm would go off in the morning, she'd go like, ugh. And she hated the guy she had to carpool with. And they have to sit in traffic on the 405 every day. And she fucking hated it. But my grandfather was then compelled to shop and clean and do everything. And if she had, if my grandfather had said to my grandmother, oh, hey, leave a check, I gotta pay the maid. She would have went, fuck you. What do you mean pay the maid? What are you doing? I'm going to the VA every day. What do you do? Well, I got a maid, we got the pool guy coming, we got the gardener guy coming, we got grubhubs dropping off dinner tonight. Like, she would have went, are you. I'm not paying for none of that shit. That's your fucking job. Because I'm gone all day. Now the good news is you can watch Hollywood Squares and you can sit in your favorite chair, but we're not getting a maid. That's you. And I was always like, grandpa Laszlo. He got it. He knew that was the deal. He had to have dinner waiting for her when she came home at night. And I was like, yeah. And then he would panic if it wasn't ready because she come through that.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

Door, man.

[Adam Carolla]

If he didn't have that truck and he was sweating, running around. Yes, darling. And he was fucking making that dinner. He was nervous if that shit wasn't ready, like, you know, if it needed to be in the oven for another eight minutes. He was like, listen, have a seat, darling.

[Rudy Giuliani]

So I got sweet.

[Unknown]

That's sweet, man. He loved his lady.

[Adam Carolla]

He was scared. But either way, he knew he wasn't working or contributing. So he had to ease the burden. Why pay somebody to come clean the house? He'll clean the house. We'll save that money. And I get it. So my thing is, look, either you both work or the person that doesn't work has to be responsible for a bunch of other shit that's not traditionally paid for. And I don't know what she does and all that kind of stuff, but yeah. Homes.com. some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Yeah, I'd be amongst those people. It may be because of homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Or Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Well, yeah, I think it's all the above. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home fast. I like to go there just to see what's out there. Homes.com. homes.com We've done your homework.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay never.

[Unknown]

Well, next up, pro football hall of famer Shannon Sharp is out at ESPN just weeks after settling a sexual assault and Battery lawsuit. Yeah. The breakup between the podcast star and media outlet comes less than two weeks after Sharp reached a settlement with anonymous woman who filed a lawsuit against famed tight end, accusing him of multiple instances of assault, sexual assault, battery and sexual battery. Yeah, this long time relationship he had with this lady, long and short of it, and at the end of it, she wanted some money and said he did some terrible stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, everything in the bedroom sounds bad. Oh yeah, and some is bad, but it all kind of sounds bad. Especially if you get in any kind of role playing or anything like that. There's always some text or something you're putting out there. There's always something. Now I think we have to start basically. Just because someone has millions of dollars doesn't mean you're a victim and it doesn't mean you're entitled to it. Like, what if this was just a dude? Yeah, like, let's just say while Helen Gorog was at the VA all day, you came in and started a lurid affair with Laszlo Gorog. And instead of him pushing the vacuum cleaner around that house, he was pushing your fat ass around that house balls deep. Right? Okay. Then you guys broke up. Would you sue Laszlo Garag? And I think the answer would be no, cuz he didn't own anything and he didn't have any money. So he was an empty bag, not a deep pocket. I don't like the idea that we have a system where it's like you go, this guy was an employee of yours, right? And then he went, he got drunk and then he drove, he T boned this guy and he hurt this guy. And I go, all right, well who are we gonna sue? Mayhem? The guy who T boned him? Well, he don't have any money. Well, what else? Well, what about Corolla? Well, he wasn't driving the car. Yeah, but he got money. Is that a system? That's a weird system.

[Unknown]

Driving the Adam Carolla van down the street got hammered and debunked.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody find somebody who's got money and we'll hit them up. So you could. This bitch probably did this with a thousand guys who didn't have money. But this guy's got money.

[Unknown]

Yeah, they were in a relationship for a two year period and started when she was 20.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know why ESPN has to. First off, I don't know when sports became so high brow, so above the fray, you know what I mean? Like sports. Like, what are sports?

[Unknown]

Well, they always tried to have an aura of like, professionalism, you know, I always Think that they had like standards and practices on every set, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, I know. I get it. It's overcompensation for a sport. But first off, everything you do is attached to gambling. An inordinate percentage of people in the sports world involve a spousal battery and unwed kids and all the degenerate shit everyone's ever said. There's constant in the past claims of racism and everything. So you guys have to then put some sort of happy stink on it or whatever. It's just a bunch of drunken guys who like watching people run into each other and betting on it. And that's fine, but you don't have to pretend like you're holier than thou.

[Rudy Giuliani]

So.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he's got Club Shay Shay, right?

[Unknown]

Yeah, he got Club Shay Shay. And yeah, his brother was just inducted into the hall of fame, so it overshadowed that a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

Sterling.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Sterling.

[Adam Carolla]

Man, those two.

[Unknown]

I know. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What a genetic hand. Those guys are monsters. Both of them. Crazy.

[Unknown]

Yeah, the craziest.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my God.

[Unknown]

I don't understand.

[Adam Carolla]

Can you imagine being 16 and a half in high school and you got Shannon Sharp and Sterling Sharp and they're stepping out of the shower and you're right behind them. Your weird little body puberty hasn't kicked in yet.

[Unknown]

The full grown man.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my. I mean, imagine what Shannon Sharp just was like as a senior in high school.

[Unknown]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Holy shit. And Sterling too. I mean, just jeans upon Jean that there ain't no half brother situation going on there. That is full blood. Those dudes.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, what else?

[Unknown]

Next up? I don't know if you remember, the clothing store Barneys sure went out of business a while ago. But this jilted Barney alleges a family evaded 20 million doll in New York taxes by falsely claiming that the late mother lived in Palm Beach. I just got this story. It's just crazy. It just keeps going and going because these guys have been at it and feuding and suing each other. The family has been at odds for a good long time. But the latest thing is Bob Pressman, the 71 year old grandson of Barney Pressman who founded the now defunct retail icon in 1923, alleges in this lawsuit that his family conspired by keeping Phyllis Pressman residing in the Hampton Southampton, New York instead of West Palm Beach. So he's snitching out the constituency here because they not getting hooked up in the. Yeah, in the. Her passing the inheritance. Yeah, it's like a heavy crazy thing to deal with.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Maybe I should be thankful that my parents accumulated.

[Unknown]

I was gonna say, did you fight over the Tony Bennett cd, or is there any argument about that?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I got the Tony Bennett CD because it was autographed to me. Because it was my cd, which I figured out later, so that was a push. So my sister wasn't in the running for the Tony Bennett cd.

[Unknown]

Oh, good.

[Adam Carolla]

She got a news. She got a copy of a newspaper article. Just forgot that. I don't know what else she got. She may have gotten a book. I should have got the trumpet. That's for sure. Because that thing's still got some action left in there. Barely used and, you know, probably paid three grand for it. Got to get at least 1200 back for that shit.

[Unknown]

Well, this lady died, she's worth upwards of $100 million.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I didn't tell you it also came in a bag. The bag ain't free. That's something. Someone will pay for a bag, they need a bag. You got a bag, they'll pay for a bag. Don't kid yourself. Don't kid yourself. And it was one of those Trader Joe ones that had the handles, you know, the paper handles glued in. So it's not just a bag that you have to hold from the bottom. It's a, you know, handled bag.

[Unknown]

The Southampton property is on the block for $38.5 million.

[Adam Carolla]

That wasn't in the bag.

[Unknown]

No, no.

[Adam Carolla]

That was not part of the bag.

[Unknown]

And her swanky Upper east side apartment listed at $3.95 million. It's in contract right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, my dad had a. There was a house in Altadena, which is still there. And then there's. My mom had. My mom didn't have a house, but her mom had a house and then died and left that to her. But I had. The step. Parents got the stuff. Cause they got in. My stepparents were younger than my parents. And they ended up having to do everything because my parents were my parents. So I don't begrudge them having whatever it is they had, because they're essentially. I mean, if you take the job of marrying my mom, that's 40 years of you having to take care of my mom. That's not 40 years of her making you martinis and putting a bow on top of new Cadillac she bought you, that's 40 years.

[Unknown]

You put in the hours.

[Adam Carolla]

That's you taking care of my mom.

[Unknown]

Digging ditches.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Whatever needs to be done, and you're doing it. So that's. That and basically my dad, too. So I look at whatever it is they got that me and my sister didn't get is just payback for all the years of having to toil and put in the hours of taking care of those two. Now, those two couldn't stay married, because how can you stay married? Let's just say you're a couple, and then you're both sitting on the sofa and someone goes, tomorrow morning's trash day. And the one goes, oh, okay, why don't you take the trash out? And the other goes, uh, I'm not taking the trash. How about you take the trash out? No, how about you do it? Well, you can't have two people who do that. One person's got to stand up and take the trash out. Otherwise, trash never gets taken out. Those two people should never get married because there's two people sitting there while trash piles up. They need to marry someone who'll take the trash out. See what I'm saying?

[Unknown]

What occurs to me is I think you seem like a do a lot guy. How did you get this recessive gene? Some type of antithetical to two people who are lazy? Why did you come out that way? Through pure spite? You're like, I don't want to be like that.

[Adam Carolla]

I would do the opposite of whatever it is I thought they would do. I was really, really, really into sports my whole life. And so I was always kind of running around. You know, I was just like, physically wrestling and running and blocking and riding and stuff. I was always like, I was always running around. And then later on, I wasn't that motivated, but I didn't have a choice because I didn't have a job, I didn't have any money, and I had to move out of the house and stuff. So I got motivated to work hard because I didn't have another way to make money. I couldn't get a job as the Maytag repairman, where I was sitting around waiting deep cut reference. The Maytag repairman was always bored because he was always sitting around because the Maytags never broke down. So he was always just hanging out, staring at the phone, looking to work, but he never could. I had to dig and toil and do all that shit. So I had to work. And then later on, I had to work harder to get out of a job that I didn't want, which is swinging a hammer all day. And then later on, I kind of figured, well, as long as you're doing a job that's pretty easy, you might as well just do as much of it as you can. So there was that, and then there was also a part when sometimes people say, oh, why are you working so much? Why don't you slow it down? Or why don't you. Whatever it. I would say, well, look, I'm not a religious person. I'm not a spiritual person, but I do believe in certain gifts having certain abilities, and then people understand it musically. Mariah Carey can sing. I can't sing. And there's artists and there's things like that. And I do think I got a gift for comedy. And when you have a gift, you have to kind of go out and make hay while the sun shines. You need to write books or make documentaries or get up on stage and tell jokes. You're compelled by this thing that was sort of bestowed upon you to go out and do something with it. And so that's part of what motivates me. And then also you have to understand, zero to 30, I did nothing. Did nothing. I stood on the construction side or I moved boxes. You know what I mean? I mowed lawns. I fucking work at McDonald's. I stared around and did nothing for 30 years. So I'm like, now that I'm doing something, I want to keep doing something.

[Unknown]

I hear you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I totally hear you. But anyway, my sister wishes she would have got a little something. You know what I mean? I know it would have been nice. And maybe, maybe she still will. Well, at some point, the step parents are going to go explain the long game. And there may be something after that. I'm not counting on it, but it could be right.

[Unknown]

Sniper in the bushes.

[Adam Carolla]

I like. Listen, here's my saying. Disappointers never disappoint.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

My sister was disappointed terribly by my dad and my mom because they did nothing for her. And then when they died, they left her. Zero. That was. That's a disappointer, not disappointing. If they. If there turned out there was some cougar ons and some gold ingots that have been set aside for Lauren all those years, it would have been confusing. See what I'm saying?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

This is not confusing at all. This is the most consistent thing those two could have done, was not leave anything to her daughter or his daughter. Yeah, that. That is the most consistent. You could set your watch on that. I could have told other people. Have to guess.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What's going to be left behind? You could have asked me. I would have said zero. Because they're disappointers and disappointers never disappoint. By the way, there's a different version of this where it's a completely different type of person. Big sandwich maker, you know what I mean? High sandwich score. Where of course there was stuff left behind. And you'd be surprised by what they squirreled away to have for you or the grandkids or whatever it is. Those people are consistent as well.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Stereotypes for a reason.

[Adam Carolla]

For a reason.

[Unknown]

Well, I'm glad you spoke about sandwiches because your daily sandwich could be making you sad and anxious.

[Adam Carolla]

Help.

[Unknown]

Experts warn gluten sensitivity may trigger inflammation, affecting mood and brain function.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Not all breads are people.

[Adam Carolla]

People ate. I don't know what to think of anything anymore. First things first, just buy good stuff. Get the good bread. Get the good stuff. Just get the good stuff. It's it, it's. You're worth it, number one. Number two, I've always been in a good mood around a sandwich.

[Unknown]

I know, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Sandwich is a good. Sandwich is good.

[Unknown]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Very American, very, very patriotic. And there's nothing better, nothing better than.

[Unknown]

A sandwich that just has like juice in the bread that it's like now it's just all one amorphous thing that turned, you know what I'm saying? Like it just has a little melty to it.

[Adam Carolla]

I like a little. If I get the Italian, I always love the shot of the olive oil and the shot of the vinegar and it's just sopping it up. You know what's a nice one?

[Unknown]

What's that?

[Adam Carolla]

I had a flashback when I was poor. There was an Armenian. Armenians have these little markets but they're full of good stuff. And I would just go up the hill, I'd buy like 4 rolls, long like hoagie grinder kind of rolls. I'd buy big beef steak, tomato, I'd buy the smoked provolone, the whole thing and I'd make myself. But I could get like four sandwiches out of it at the end of the day. It was pretty cheap. But I just had this flashback. I would take these tomatoes, beefsteak, I'd cut these wagon wheel size pieces of it, I'd put em in the plate and then I'd put the olive oil and the vinegar and like the oregano on it and I'd let them soak it up.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So then once they got good and soaked up, I'd put em on the sandwich. So it wasn't like just squirting the dressing on top of the sandwich.

[Unknown]

Oh man.

[Adam Carolla]

Man, I want some of that.

[Unknown]

That's A clever way to do it.

[Adam Carolla]

I was. There is a sandwich in this refrigerator that I tried to eat. I don't know where. I don't know what it was. This is the first time I've ever been confused by a sandwich. And we still don't know. It may have been a vegan sandwich. No one here will claim the half of the sandwich that was in the fridge that I tried to eat, but I was devastated. Was it a meat? It was like head cheese or something. I don't know. Anyway, you got one more?

[Unknown]

No, that was the last one. I'm talking about gluten sensitivity.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, everybody, here's the thing. There was a time when people just lived. They ate, they walked, they sweated, they worked out, they worked places, they raised barns, they did simple tasks, they thatched a roof and they mended a fence and they washed their own wagon or something. I don't know if they wagon washes back then, but either way, they just did for them themselves. Just do for yourself. Just try. Try just staying busy, doing for yourself, eating like grandpa used to eat. And stop thinking about what everything does to you and what all the food.

[Unknown]

Sensitivities are experts now. That's the problem, everybody.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, is it a problem?

[Unknown]

Anything that you want an answer to, it's in your pocket.

[Adam Carolla]

During COVID everyone became an expert on ivermectin in four minutes. And I'm like, like, what the fuck do you know about. You've never said the word ivermectin in your life. Or hydroxychloroquine and now you're an expert. Interesting. You played it real close to the vest with these two substances for all these years.

[Unknown]

For your degree at night?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All right, knock it the fuck off, everyone. Get out of your head. Eat, exercise, live and love and you'll be fine. All right. I am going to be in Portland coming up on this Thursday at Helium. You can go to AdamCoroll.com for all the live shows. Until next time, Adam Kroll for Rudy Giuliani and Mayhem Miller saying mahalo.

[Mike Dawson]

Pick up your telephone and give us a call. Leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and then get tickets immediately to see Adam Corolla in Portland Thursday at AdamCola.com.

[Jason Mayhem Miller]

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