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Adam Carolla
In this episode, you know this guy. Impractical jokers. Sal Vulcano joins us. Very funny. Also Rudy Pavich.
Brian Quinn
Very funny.
Adam Carolla
He's got the news. We'll do all that right after this. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah. Love these guys. O'Reilly Auto Parts, you know the song. These guys, they keep your car on the road so you don't end up on the shoulder looking like a dope. Friendly, helpful service people who actually know their stuff, not just some kid who'd rather be on his phone playing video games. I use these guys. I used the one out in Glendale, California. Before that, a couple months, a couple weeks earlier, I was the one in La Crescenta, maybe in La Canada. I got a check up on Foothill. These guys know what they're doing. I'm prepping my race cars and they're helping thousands of parts and accessories stocked in store and online so you don't have to to panic when the check engine light appears. Need wiper swap Fine. Brake lights out. No problema. These people are pros and they can help you find what you need. And if you're not a DIY type, they'll look up a shop nearby and get you set up with someone who does know what they're doing. So whether you're a gearhead or you don't know a lug nut from a donut, they'll walk you through. No attitude, just help. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us online at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam this October, Fear is free.
Brian Quinn
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Adam Carolla
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Brian Quinn
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Adam Carolla
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James Murray
This one's for you. My name is Allie Jackson.
Brian Quinn
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James Murray
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Brian Quinn
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James Murray
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Adam Carolla
And I was just telling my colleague.
James Murray
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Brian Quinn
Getting a seamless hosting experience, but I also love the support I receive in ad sales.
James Murray
It's not just typical ad sales either. It's targeted opportunities based on my show and my life.
Brian Quinn
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James Murray
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Brian Quinn
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James Murray
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Brian Quinn
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James Murray
If you want to give it a.
Brian Quinn
Try, go to redcircle.com to get your free trial. That's right, redcircle.com for a free trial.
Adam Carolla
From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, comedian Sam Vulcano. Plus the news and trending topics with Rudy Povich. And now a man with many more feelings about the Love Boat than military strikes on drug boats, Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on, got to get it on. No choice but get a mandate. You get it on. Sal, you know, from impractical jokers, probably mainly. And we'll talk to him. Rudy Pavich is in studio. I told Rudy to write down a couple of practical jokes that he's either played or had played upon him. I wrote down a few myself. Sal will have stories, I'm sure, because I like those. It's a bygone era, so we'll get into that. I'm amazed. I was driving to the Lakers game last night from here, which is a lot of traffic and a lot of LA freeway. And I have a sort of minor obsession with, with people, not angry people or violent people or anything. People just sort of get involved, insert themselves into situations, people. Cuz I think it sounds so counterintuitive to me that I think ultimately, like I'm not into beheadings, but if I was in Hamas, I might be into beheadings. And then if I was into beheadings, it probably wouldn't bother me. But I'm not into beheadings. So for me I go, holy crap, this is unthinkable. You know, but not if that was a thing that I was into, you know. And I suppose there's a version of that of like, well, I build houses. And then some people go, I could never, ever. And I go, I know, but to me it's not that impressive because I do it and I understand it when people get involved with stuff that don't need to get involved in and sort of insert themselves, especially in an aggressive way and you could have just kept walking and none of this would have ever happened. I'm very interested in that cuz it feels so counter to what I would ever do.
James Murray
Yeah. Watching people plug up traffic on the 15 because they are protesting Palestine or Israel. You're like, dude, we're just all trying to get to work.
Adam Carolla
Yes, you're laying down. You've hot glued yourself to the pavement. I'm driving on the freeway. And the thing about me and everyone should know this, I have been driving in LA for almost now for 45 years. 45 years in a town riddled with illegals who don't know how to drive, who are totally uninsured and drunk. Everybody I know who's lived in LA for more than seven years has a story about getting clipped by an illegal intersection. The guy was drunk. Dawson. I saw, I had a moment on the five yesterday when I saw a full size Tundra with an extendo cab on it and that gunmetal silver just trucking down the five. And the first second I did a Miho where I was like, Dawson. Yeah, Dawson. Except for Dawson, it was taken out by a Camry. A Camry driven by somebody whose grandparents and dad never drove, who just decided to make a U turn from a parked spot over three lanes of traffic. Were they illegal right in front of the. The right rear tire? Hispanic or illegal? It was. It was. No. Oh, our armo. Yeah. Okay, but apartment dwelling, so we don't know. Not BMW. A cat back exhaust, tons of cologne, good armor. Right. Not the new custom client Cobra F150 or whatever. There's one of those down the street from my house, right? Yeah, maybe. Maybe the Evel Knievel edition, which I like. Or the Shelby F150 truck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm driving along. So let it be known that in 45 years of navigating this city, and I mean everywhere, it's not. Oh, I live next door to where I work. Uh, I'm going back and forth to Malibu. When I work construction, I lived in North Hollywood. I was doing. I was doing houses in Chatsworth. I was working at a cabinet shop. I'm all over. Never made contact with another vehicle.
James Murray
Not once?
Adam Carolla
Not once, no. Pretty good because I have hyper vigilance.
James Murray
I got into three accidents on the way here from Pasadena.
Adam Carolla
So Sal is here.
Brian Quinn
Oh my goodness.
Adam Carolla
Hop in. Sal, Good to see you. Everyone's a fan. Put your headphones on, tilt your mic up.
Brian Quinn
This is a chair. This works like a chair.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it works like a Chair, but it's different. It's kind of the futon of chairs. It looks good, but it's not practical. Good to see you, brother.
Brian Quinn
Thank you for having me.
Adam Carolla
Sal's got dates coming up. Yes, sir. Everything's fine. Tour got Portland, Oregon. We got at a concert hall at the Schnitzer concert. That's Friday. Yeah, that's Friday. That's coming up October 24th. Then it's got Salt Lake City coming up, Utah. And then we got San Diego. Balboa Theater. Very great theater over there. So where should people go to find dates? Salvolcanocomedy.com so we'll get into this, but we'll talk cars for a second. I'll just finish this because I thought you're gonna be a couple minutes late. I'm driving to watch the Lakers game. I'm driving, cutting through the freeways of LA, trying to get from here to the crypto. At 6:15 at night. It's tough sledding. And what I'm really drilling down on is not the fact that. And it's a sea of humanity all trying to get various places bumper to bumper, side to side. Everyone's jockeying, everyone's got Waze. Waze is taking them off at Dodger Stadium. You drive through Tommy Lasorda's house. You. You get back on the 101. You know, like, it's clear that everyone is following ways and doing this. Weird because I lived here my whole life. Back in the day, you just sit in traffic at the 5 as it ground all the way to the 110. Now you're hopping off on Darryl Strawberry Drive and going around everything in Echo park and whatever. All right, so that's all everyone's doing, is just kind of driving and looking at their ways. I'm meeting my daughter over there. It's traffic. I'm running behind. You tell me, by the way, I don't feel like this is on me. You can lead a man to ways, but you can't make him drink. Where you keep saying, my daughter, she's in La Canada. I'm over here. I go, I'm at work, but I'll meet you at the VIP at the Lakers crypto. The game starts at seven. I'll meet you there at 6:15 out front. And she goes, well, we're gonna. We're gonna Uber. What time should we leave? I go check the ways. Just check the ways, right? Should we leave at like 5? I go, I. I don't. I don't know from LA. Canada to crypto. I don't know. But. But just look. I said, do you have ways. He goes, yeah. I go, just check it up until that time and then call the Uber. And then. And then you won't. And then at some three times. And then at some point, while I'm sitting in traffic, I got. I get the five, 45. We're all here. We're out front of VIP. Where are you? And I'm like, I'm a half hour away, sweetheart. And she's like, oh, well, we don't. We're just gonna wait.
James Murray
And I'm like.
Adam Carolla
Because I begged. I begged for the way I begged for the. Yeah. We didn't know how long it was gonna take, so we left early. It's like, it's all fine, but now I have service. I'm in traffic because I'm a half hour away, but it's. Because you're a half hour early, but you're just standing out front of the entrance. Now there's nothing to do. So I'm like, driving and trying to pick my way through and make. Make my way. And at some point, I see my lane is slowing down, but the lane next to me is open. I'm just going to slide out and move over. So I signal for a good 100ft. I start to slide out. And as I slide out, I see there's a Ram truck moving at a pretty good rate of speed that is coming up. Now, I'm not close to it, but if I do the move, I am going to cut him off. I'm not going to cut him off, but I'm going to get in front of him. He's 80, 100ft, and he's moving at a good clip. So I start to move out. I get about 3ft out of my lane. I see in my rear view the guy's trucking down, and I move back into my lane. He pulls up next to me, slows down to my speed, and just starts riding the horn. And I'm like, are other people allowed to drive on your freeway? Right. It's like, yes. I tried to change lanes, but then I saw you. So then I moved back.
Brian Quinn
You couldn't have played it better.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I guess I could have never been born. According to the guy in the Ram, that would have been celebrated at his house. But short of being stillborn or having a rollover type thing with my mom because she was overweight, no. I started to do something, and then I saw you. And then I moved back. Right? So then he Slows down next to me. Now he's not moving the pace of the lane and he just starts honking the horn, just riding the horn. He's got his girl in the passenger seat too, which is weird. Like, I don't. Right? So he's like, meh. And I'm sort of looking at him going, I don't know what you want from this. I started to change lanes. I saw you. And I moved back and we never came. He didn't jam on the brakes, didn't do anything. The only time he used his brakes was to stop next to me. So I'm like, okay. And so I just start going along. And now we're a couple hundred feet down the freeway and I'm sort of making time on him. I'm coming up. And now he starts cutting me off intentionally, like doing a slow motion, you know, like a kind of like, I'm going to run you off the road, but in a deliberate kind of slow way so that I can start moving to the shoulder.
James Murray
He's.
Adam Carolla
He's at 45 degrees, applying the brake. And I'm like, how much punishment do I deserve for this thing? And also, what are your expectations when you get onto a crowded LA freeway? That everyone will just queue up and then part when you come through and then queue up again when you're gone?
Brian Quinn
Or like, also, there's no way he's only doing that to you.
Adam Carolla
Oh, no.
Brian Quinn
This energy is being output for the entire drive to everyone.
Adam Carolla
And he. He's. He'd probably done it to Kimmel, he's probably done it to Rogan, he's probably done it to Stanhope. Anyone even associated with the man show. Yeah, you're right. Maybe even caught Mark DeCarlo back in the day.
Brian Quinn
That special gal who's with that guy.
Adam Carolla
So then I'm literally like, there's a part of me that wants to, like, pull over and just fight, like, because I'm just like, I really, really. This. Now you're cutting me off. And then he sort of tacks back and I don't care. Cause I drive race cars. It doesn't matter. I'm not like. I'm just like, all right, we'll do the dance of the tards. And then at some point, we pull up another quarter mile and he sees me coming up. He does the move again. And I'm like, how little does it take this? And by the way, what if I really did like. What if I made contact with you? You'd get out of your car with a fuck Swinging a tire chain over your head. Like what. What happens when something really happens in your life? This is me trying to change lanes, seeing you and moving back into my lane. That's all. No breaks, no contact, no, you're coming way. I saw him way down the road coming. That's weird.
Brian Quinn
I'm.
James Murray
I'm.
Brian Quinn
I'm upset right now. You're sitting here. I'm feeling like. Like some type of visceral reaction here of anger for you.
Adam Carolla
And how does this. That's happened to me too. How's this guy stay out of jail for more than like three weeks?
Brian Quinn
It's like a truck driver playbook, though, because that has happened to me. Like the overly aggressive, like this has happened to me. They hold grudges or something. There's gotta be some form of justice for us civilian drivers.
Adam Carolla
Also, I think there's this. He's driving a full size Ram pickup truck with an extended cab in black with a big box from Home Depot. And I'm driving a white Audi, plug in electric. And he's sizing me up as a puss because you see the electric like he's in his Ram. See, if I'm in a black Ram with some tough mudders and a lift kit and some dog, you know, some nuts hanging from the differential, he's not doing this. He sized me up as some California plug in pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brian Quinn
You know, those nuts are probably an. Actually a form of prevention.
Adam Carolla
I've said you get those nuts on.
Brian Quinn
There and then they see that and they're like, all right, let me just.
Adam Carolla
I've said this many times.
Brian Quinn
I never been nuts. But now I'm seeing, you know, the.
Adam Carolla
Picture, you know, the sticker you want in your window at your house is the nra. Yeah. Not the one to the fireman going, we have nine cats. Make sure you save Gus. He's hard of hearing. You know, like when you put all the cats, you're getting robbed. Yeah, yeah. NRA not getting robbed.
Brian Quinn
You need f. The dog. Beware of the owner.
Adam Carolla
Right, right. This house insured by Smith and Wesson. Then Dixie flag, then the NRA sticker. Nobody. Nobody who's kicking in that door.
James Murray
Yes.
Brian Quinn
And then maybe a baby on board for caution, but that's.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. Just show you your sensitive side.
James Murray
But the baby's got a Nazi tattoo.
Adam Carolla
In a Mohawk, you know? Yeah, yeah. I just. I marvel at, A, how easily people are set off. And then B, what is their interpretation of what transpired? And then C, what do they expect out of life? Because I tried to change lanes on a very busy. I mean, it was 6pm downtown LA, packed, people are all over the fucking place. I'm just tried to move over, saw him and then moved right back. Well, I thought he was gonna give me a thumbs up. Like, you know when you make a berth for a biker and he goes by and he does the hand move. Like I thought I was gonna get a. Thanks, Cappy. Like I thought I was gonna get a. As you should have not cut off.
James Murray
Yeah, well, if there's one thing the Internet has taught me is that you can bring crazy, but sometimes they will raise you a crazy. Like when you get the guy who gets out of the vehicle and he comes up and he's pumping his chest, going out of the car, man, the guy's like, all right. He rolls a window down and puts a slug right in that guy's chest. That guy raised you a crazy. You asked for this, my man. So I'm surprised, especially in a city like. Cuz I live in Vegas, it's pretty chill for the most part. Not a lot of traffic. Minnesota is where I originate from. Very easy. But when I come to la, it is head on a swivel at all times.
Brian Quinn
I feel like Minnesota, you're like, get in there, you son of a.
James Murray
That's, yeah, absolutely.
Adam Carolla
Like, hey, move along, man.
James Murray
Actually, let me. I got this big truck. Let me plow everybody out of the way for you.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, so I was thinking of practical jokes.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Cause that's where you made your bones. And I don't know, is the practical joke dying out with the young man as plastics and circulating estrogen and lower sperm count and rough house, rough play. Like all the shit we experienced growing up, that was perfectly fine, it was 100% fine. That my friend John Tyler, who lived up the street with his buddy Chet, who are like two years older than us, would invite me and my buddy Chris over to come hang out, like in high school. And we'd go, all right. And we'd start walking down the street and at some point we'd turn up and we'd start heading up his driveway, going to his house, and at some point, two guys would rise up on the roof with BB guns and we'd be like, what's going on, Chet? John, you got 10 seconds. Good old fashioned. Come on, man, come on. Eight seconds. And then they go, come on, John, seriously, bro. 5. And then you start running. And by the way, they never honored the next ride. No, second you start running, they start shooting.
Brian Quinn
As soon as they Saw the back.
James Murray
Right.
Adam Carolla
Now, those kids would be jailed now, right?
Brian Quinn
Yeah. You can't do that paper, I guess you're being shot.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Today, parents would get involved. We just went home and we're like, well, that's on my shot over there.
Brian Quinn
My dad, my dad used to be superintendent of the garden apartments that we lived in. And there was this one young punk teen kid that would always like, mess with everybody. And I don't know if he's going to kill you for saying this, but one time he got a BB gun, cracked the office door open and, and he didn't mean to, you know, like, I don't think he meant to hit the kid, you know, necessarily in the.
Adam Carolla
In the, he, he was aiming for the kid, but there no warning shots with BB guns.
Brian Quinn
He hit the kid with the BB gun.
Adam Carolla
Nice.
Brian Quinn
And, and he hit the kid. And, and my, my, my dad just closed the door and was like, ah.
Adam Carolla
And then went and got the mom.
Brian Quinn
And the mom came down to the office and banged on the door and said, somebody shot my son with a BB gun. And my dad was like, let's go find him.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
And so like, I, I, I, I didn't remember that. Sorry till you just said this, but yeah, I mean, I mean, even adults were doing it back then.
Adam Carolla
Your dad was superintendent of the apartment complex you lived in?
Brian Quinn
Yeah, he had like five jobs, but yeah, he was senate New York City sanitation man, and then the superintendent of those, of our apartments. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So what do you do? You get a break on the rent. Yeah, I knew a few of those people.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
It seemed, by the way, you know, you're poor when that seems like a sweet, sweet deal. Oh, yeah. All you got to do is fix everyone's toilet and you get 50% off your shitty apartment. Now. I'd go, no, but back then it's like, yeah, yeah.
Brian Quinn
Well, then my parents separated when I was young, and then my, we moved into an apartment like in the building right next door. And then he paid for that, but luckily he had his right for free. So it's like we, and then we just went back and forth between apartments. And two.
Adam Carolla
So you literally, you, you did the co parenting thing? Yeah, sort of the joint custody thing. Yeah, I did that too. It wasn't official. Like, my parents never got divorced. It was just like, you take them this half, I'll take them that. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
I don't know how official the timeshare was. Yeah, but we did that. But it was also just one building. Like, the buildings were connected, actually.
Adam Carolla
So your dad would do the superintendent stuff.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, he was a sanitation man, but did both.
Adam Carolla
What? Sanitation man? New York City garbage truck. Yeah. So did he get to ride on the back of the truck?
Brian Quinn
Oh, he did everything that seemed like a sweet deal. That's another thing he did. He would get in trouble with it now, but he's just take me like when. When we had bad snowstorms and he had to like do all the salting throughout the night and everything. And I knew I wasn't going to school because it was like a blizzard, right. Like, there were times where he's like, come on, ride with me. And I would sit in the truck with him and he'd drive around in salt and I'd be in that truck.
Adam Carolla
Like, oh, so he's. Salt. He's doing the salt.
Brian Quinn
He did everything. So I don't. Nowadays, you definitely couldn't do that if you caught.
Adam Carolla
Oh, sure, it'd be funny if he was talking to his cardiologist and it's like, your blood pressure's a little high. How's your sodium intake? I did about 7 metric tons this morning. Well, you really should really gotta cut back.
Brian Quinn
Assault sheen on him smells of saltish crusty.
Adam Carolla
Comes in like a piece of meat and Eskimo was trying to keep for the winter, you know, glistening with salt.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So he would do the road salt thing, he would do the maintenance stuff. So he's a blue collar dude. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
And he was a H Vac guy.
Adam Carolla
H Vac guy.
Brian Quinn
He could build. Admittedly, I don't have that skill set. He could. He, you know, he would knock. He would build like rooms in our house and stuff and knock down walls and stuff. I'm not that handy that way.
Adam Carolla
I'll tell you. I will tell you this as a reason. Not that my kids, I don't think will possess any of this, or maybe, maybe they will. But I talk to guys that are in the white collar world in show business. I was just hanging out with the Nick Santora who writes Reacher and Prison Break and everybody. Every movie, he does everything and whatever the Schwarzenegger series is, and he does it all. But every time that guy opens his mouth, he has such reverence for his blue collar dad, you know, and it's like you make 20, you make 150 times as much as your dad ever made and whatever. It's like my dad, he knew a tuck trowel from a, you know, a bullnose trowel. And he could. And he could build and he could build and there's Like a reverence. Like a real salt of the earth. Pardon the pun, Daddy.
Brian Quinn
To this day, a superhero to me.
Adam Carolla
And that's what I'm saying again, I don't think my kids will have that with me. Like, he's a douchebag. He liked to talk. Yeah. He knew what a hammer was. What of it? But it's like one more like when you're just sitting in a cubicle pushing paper. Kids don't wax poetic about that. But when they go, my dad could fix any car he could fix. He would build me a go kart. They have a real visceral reverence for that guy who worked with his hands, you know? And I think that's a. I think that's good. I think you should strive for that. Like, your kids should see you build them something.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. More than IKEA furniture. Yeah, I've done.
Brian Quinn
I can build some ikea. But, you know, you're right. I. I would have loved to have learned that skill set. But, like, I. I feel like there's things I want to do now when I get a little time. You know, I'm waiting for, like, to get a little time. But, like, I just. I just took a sailing lesson.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Brian Quinn
Yeah, I just. I. You know, I just was like, I need an outlet. Just something completely different because I've been so buried and so busy. I'm like, I need an escape. And it was just something, like, I was like, it never crossed my mind. And then I was like, you know what? That might be really intense, and, like, I might love it and might take a lot of energy, you know, and so I just so happen to bump into somebody a few days after I said this to my wife that said, he teaches sailing lessons by chance. By chance.
James Murray
Great magnet.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. And I was like. And he's like, let's go. And I went. I went right away, and I did it, and it was amazing. I mean, it's going to take a long time and a lot of hours, but I liked it enough to do it again. So, I mean, I'm trying to get. Because my thought was if I learn how to sail, like, if I really do, I could take my family so I could teach the kids how to sail. And. Yeah, it would be like a sailing family, you know, It's a nonprofit thing that does it up in the Hudson Sailing Club in New York City. And it's like. It's like $10 to go for it. You know what I mean? It's, like, not expensive. You don't need to. People Think you need to buy a sailboat or something? You don't?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
James Murray
Well, I just started teaching myself how to play drums at 45. I've always wanted to do it. I'm a good guitar player, but I've always wanted to try drums. And the last. Probably two months, I've been teaching myself and I've been going to lessons. The one thing I noticed, you can physically feel it in your head when you are trying to figure out something mentally.
Adam Carolla
And it's.
James Murray
It really does lessen the stresses of life. It gets your mind off of what's going on with the kids. I just found out my daughter's car, we gotta get a new transmission. $7,000 I gotta come up with to get this thing fixed. That sucks. But for a half hour I can sit and pound on this drum set.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, exactly.
James Murray
And figure things out and try to work out different time signatures. Oh, that's a 16th note. This is an eighth note. And you realize that while you're putting this together, it sort of puts it. Cause now I take what I'm doing with drums and I'm looking at it as jokes. Oh, if I move this syllable here, you get a little bit. It feels a little off. It feels different. Oh, if you move this word here, it's a little different.
Brian Quinn
Does any of the knowledge, dexterity, and like that you have for you said guitar, does any of that translate? I mean, it's two completely different physical movements, right? Yeah, but like does, because you have rhythm and timing and that kind of thing. Are you starting a leg up when you start the drums or is it still like. Well, I'm. This isn't what I do with guitar. So I'm picking up two sticks. I'm starting at zero a little bit.
James Murray
Yeah. Because you're all. I've already played with bands. I know how to play ban. I know how to play guitar. So I've already been in it, so I can feel it.
Brian Quinn
So that inclination carries.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
James Murray
But trying to get out of just like doing this. How do you. How do you make it that.
Adam Carolla
I missed that commercial?
James Murray
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
I can tell you that the guy in the Ram truck that was trying to take me into the weeds probably wasn't on his way to a sailing lesson. I don't feel like he was grounded that way.
James Murray
More to a gun range.
Adam Carolla
If he was on his way to a sailing lesson, I think I wouldn't have ended up on the shoulder. So you grew up with a very blue collar dad.
Brian Quinn
Grandpa, too.
Adam Carolla
And grandpa, that's usually how that seems to work. And then impractical jokers came about. How. What was the genesis of it?
Brian Quinn
I started doing sketch comedy and improv comedy and stand up comedy in high school and college. And then the guys on the show with me, I've known since I'm 13. We met as freshman in high school and we all were kind of doing some form of comedy. And then we got back from college, we were all doing it still. We said, let's try to do it together. So we started performing locally. And then there was an online competition for sketch comedy.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Brian Quinn
Yeah, in like 2005.
Adam Carolla
Ish.
Brian Quinn
And so we started filming sketch comedy videos and putting them online. And it was. It turned out it was like driven by NBC and they were looking to find talent cheap. So they were. It was like a thousand bucks a week. They would give you a topic and you'd have to film us like a sketch, a short video based on that topic. And we started doing them. We started. It was like audience vote, Internet vote, and we'd win a thousand dollars. We won it like 11 times. We had broke, you know, so we were like, oh, my God. And we started calling all these videos. And so when YouTube and MySpace started, we had like 30 videos to dump on there. And when we dumped that much content on it, they started featuring us on their homepage. So we started getting a lot of views back then. Anyway, it turns out that they NBC, what they were doing was they chose the top five winners on that and they filmed a pilot for television hosted by Carson Daly.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Brian Quinn
The battle of the sketch comedy troops. It was the battle of sketch comedy. The best sketch comedy troupe, and they took everyone's number one video and put it up against each other. And the winner would get a hundred thousand dollars. They shot this in a studio and everything we won.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Brian Quinn
It never got picked up, but we still got paid.
Adam Carolla
You got the 100 grand? Yeah.
Brian Quinn
And so from that, producers on that show introduced us to their agents. That's how we got an agent. And then we had a bunch of general meetings set up. And we were like, why don't we just go prepare now? Because general meetings are such bullshit meetings. And we just sat down one week before these general meetings and conceived of three ideas. One of them was the show. And we went with our cell phone cameras into Times Square and shot a few sample bits of it, cut it together, and brought that sizzle tape into the general meeting. And we got offers that week from MTV and True TV and sold that show in the room, which is by the way, never happened before. Since I've pitched 100 shows, I've gotten one other one picked up, and it was never in the room, so. So it was just the right vehicle for us at the right time in the room.
Adam Carolla
Means they agree to it while you're sitting there versus, yeah, we'll get back to you kind of thing.
Brian Quinn
They said, we'd like to buy this. Yeah, it was like, they never do that.
Adam Carolla
Well, they don't do it. Cause they don't have to do it. Right. Cause they just go, well, let's let them leave and then we'll talk about stuff.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, I mean, as a matter of fact, I've been in so many pitches where I feel like, oh, they love this, and we never even hear from them again. So it was just an anomaly.
Adam Carolla
But I learned. I'll tell you what I learned from trying to do a couple of sitcoms or being a star, creator of a sitcom where they have to, like, audition your wife or your son. Where they audition people, the producers. When the woman who's supposed to play your wife sucks, they go over the top. That was so good. That was so good. That was so good. When the person is really good, that means they're like, really in the running. People are like, they're into. I'm thinking about this mode. I'm not in heaping bullshit praise mode, like trying to get them out the door. This is now I'm calculating like a, she is the right age, could we free her up? Right. So what they do is they don't do the praise heap. Because I've heard, oh, man. Oh, best all day, best all week. Thank you, thank you. You'll be hearing it as soon as the door shuts, okay, she's gone. You know, like they. That. But when they. It's like when they get serious and they don't heap praise, they just start going, are you. Are you based in New York or la? Right. And then I go, I'm in la. What's your availability? Like, they get serious, they start asking questions, but they stop complimenting.
Brian Quinn
Right.
Adam Carolla
Because they're in now. It's like you're buying a car. Now you're not. You're not going, oh, it's so pretty. You're like, you got a leash ring. Right, right, right, right. You know, you're trying to get a little bit of a. You're getting a little poker face, but you're also. You want information, not. Not flapping your arms around. So there's. There's that. I've Noticed, Yeah.
Brian Quinn
I think what benefited us was the tape that we went in with just happened to be so funny and that they, they just like. We were just lucky to have something to show that was undeniably funny. It was a five minute little video, but she was like one of the people at True laugh so hard. She had like a tears coming down, everything. She went and got a bunch of other people, called them and played it again.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Brian Quinn
And then they all laughed and she was like, right? And they were like, yeah. And then she was like, I really like this. I. I kind of want to offer you guys this right now. We had met with MTV two days earlier and they did the same, but they didn't want to do our show exactly as we brought it to them. They wanted to make it a game show. We weren't on the show. Contestants competed and they have a rotating cast of any comedians telling them what to do. And we were like, we think it'd be better because, like, this plays to our skill set. We know each other and we do improv. So, like, if we are reoccurring, people will be invested in us and like the character and want to come back. And that was our take on it. So then we told. Because we said to her, well, we got an offer. And she was like, was it from mtv? And we're like, yeah. She's like, I knew it. She's like, don't go with them. They famously don't pay. She's like, they won't give you a good budget. And we said, well, I actually don't want to make it with us. She's like, I'll do the show. How you guys want to do Carson.
James Murray
Daly has to be on the show.
Brian Quinn
So we said, okay. And then I was. That was the end of that.
Adam Carolla
Huell. Oh, yeah, you guys heard me talking about Huell. You know, the mornings that can be a little chaotic, you're juggling the dog, the emails, the keys, you skip breakfast, you just grab some coffee and you go hustling out of the house. I used to do that too. And then I found Hewell. Black Edition. Seriously, grabbing this on the way out saves my whole morning. Fall is here. So school, work, everything ramping up. You want a meal, Not a candy bar that says granola somewhere near it or a latte. You got to go with Huel. I'll spell it out. H U E L. They get it. The Black Edition powder is a complete meal. So you feel full, you feel focused, and you're ready for the day and you can get this as well. They just dropped this Huel greens drink which I'm holding in my hand right now. It's lightly carbonated and it's ready to drink. It's the first of its kind. It's a greens drink that's sparkling, it's in a can, no powder, no nonsense, just pop the top and go. Made by real dietitians, it's Huel. Right, Dawson? Try Huel with 15% off for new customers today using our code Adam15@huell.com Adam15 fuel your best performance with Huel today. Hims hair well, you know, hair loss isn't just about hair. It's about that moment when you look in the mirror and think, all right, when did this start happening? But you shouldn't have to stress over it or spend a whole bunch of money weekends trying random junk that doesn't work. That's where HIMS comes in. They make it simple, personalized, expert backed care for guys who want results, real results. Their ingredients can stop hair loss and start regrowth in as little as three to six months. And best part, it's all online. You talk to a provider from home, get your plan and have it shipped right to your door. No surprise fees, no awkward appointments, just real care that fits your life. Think of HIMS as your digital front door to getting back to your old self. 100% online, trusted and designed around you. It's hims, right, Dawson? For simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss and more, visit hims.com Adam that's himss.com Adam for your free online visit hims.com Adam Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monopolies and finasteride. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions and important safety information was so again, practical joking is what young men do or what they used to do because now everyone's got an 80 inch TV and video games and porn on their phone and stuff like, I don't know if you could have made me do practical jokes back then if I had all that my son has, which is everything.
Brian Quinn
Everything at his fingertips.
Adam Carolla
Right? So why do you have to entertain yourself? You have 2 million hours of whatever on your phone to entertain you. But every comedian I know for certain, that was like a backbone of their world was practical jokes.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, I mean, look, the way we grew up is outside all day long.
Adam Carolla
With our friends, clients with BB guns lying to their parents.
Brian Quinn
I mean, I'm not particularly a practical joke gu. And on the show to be Fair. It's way more, you know, it's not like these YouTube pranks. This is way more like we put ourselves in, like, very layered social situations and compete against each other to see who could do the best in social situations. So it's more hidden camera than it is prank.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you know, also, I should blame you because I think half the reason my son didn't do practical jokes is he just watched you do it on 75 inch TV. He's like, why do I need to do it, Dan? Cause he got it out of his system. Cause him and all his friends loved the show.
Brian Quinn
Oh, right on.
Adam Carolla
And they felt sort of satiated. Like, I'm just gonna watch them do it.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
But, you know, I've done some. When we did the man show, we did some hidden camera stuff. Not a ton, but some. And I always felt bad because the camera would add context, but the hidden camera meant for that moment they just thought, this is what we were doing.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
And it's a certain breed of cat that sort of likes. Felt uncomfortable to me. I would do it, but it felt weird.
Brian Quinn
Well, that's. Well, that's the basis of the show. So two things we did was we kind of took that element out of it because it's always on us. We throw each other under the bus. So we're not really, like, we're not really feeling bad for the mark, so to speak.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brian Quinn
They're. They're participating in it, but. Well, sorry about that. All right, so we are. We're like trying to compete against them. And it's like, what I want the most out of someone is not for them to be angry or scared or I want them to be confused. That bewildered state is where I think a lot of the comedy comes.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Brian Quinn
You know what I mean? And then the other thing is, is that, like, we made that uncomfortableness be a hallmark of the show.
Adam Carolla
So. Right.
Brian Quinn
We knew right away, well, I don't want to do that. And so what if I don't want to do that? You know? And it's like, well, then you could say no, and then you'll lose.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brian Quinn
But there's funny in the failure. So we made sure that we were able to, like, be like, well, that's too much for me. I'm not doing that. You know what I mean? And that has become one of the, like, the things about the show that people like about it, you know?
Adam Carolla
Like, oh, yeah. I mean, I. I don't know. It's a Baywatch of dudes that don't look good in bathing suits or something. I don't know the first time I've heard that. Well, I mean, that definitely describ me. It swept the nation. And it wasn't because of the cleavage.
James Murray
Yeah. I think the best moments of the show are when you guys pitch a line and you can tell the person does not want to say it. And they sit there, they're like, yeah. And they force it out of their mouth. And then you guys get a bigger kick out of it than what goes on in the room. I think that's the magic of it.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, we're, we're the, we're also the laugh track and you know, and also the punishment we made early on. You cannot say no. So you don't know what your fate's gonna be and you don't want that fate. So that's the motivator to like push through something like that. But also it's like that really never goes away. People ask me like, oh, you've been doing it. Like we're 14 years on the air, 12 seasons, 300 plus episodes.
Adam Carolla
Like it.
Brian Quinn
Do you get. I have a thicker skin than in the beginning. But this next person that walks up to me that I don't know is still a wild card. He's a truck driver. He's a variable. I don't know how that person is gonna react to me. And so there's still real life hesitation there. And that doesn't go away. So it's like it, it's sustainable. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Andrew. A bit that I always loved doesn't involve me, but it was a man show bit where Jimmy Stanhope, by the.
Brian Quinn
Way, is a very good friend of mine.
Adam Carolla
He's a good, or I don't know if he's a good dude. He's a layered, interesting dude. Jimmy goes to the bathroom stalls and starts talking to people through the bathroom stall. Always, always crack me up. Because a good practical joke, like a good logo, sometimes the genius is the simplicity of it. The ones that get really advanced sometimes don't really work. They get too complicated. But a good basic, simple like sort of grandma stew or something. Like not fancy, not a ton of stuff, but real basic sticky down stuff.
Brian Quinn
We do the whole spectrum of that. But often my favorite stuff and the stuff that works the best is the most simple, stripped down form of something. Just a very simple, easy to get. Like, you know, just the most relatable interaction or whatever. Like one time I had to, I was playing a delivery guy in Manhattan. I was delivering Lunch to office buildings, to people in their office buildings. And when they came down to collect their lunch, I had to tell them that the tip they gave me was absolute shit. Like, that's. That's all the thing, right? You know, that is so hard to say to someone's face, Right? And then their reaction is like, you know, and I had, like, insist I.
Adam Carolla
Wanted more, you know. Right.
Brian Quinn
And it's like. Like, that is really hard to do over and over and over, especially. And that's. It's a simple, simple thing. You know what I mean? And then we have these elaborate things that sometimes they work and pay off, too. But for me, my favorite is just finding that little simple one.
Adam Carolla
I agree. And there is something to that. In art, in music, just a real basic hook of a song or a really good, really effective logo. You go, oh, that's genius. That Apple logo or whatever. Like, yeah, said Nike. Like, what could be simpler than that? But somehow. And there's a genius in something that is so simple but so effective. And I feel that way with comedy, too.
James Murray
You see somebody with a joke and you go, of course. That is exactly where that was supposed to go. God damn it, why didn't I think of that?
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yes. This is from, I don't know what season of the man show, but Jimmy does bathroom interviews, and he just goes to the Fallbrook Mall and he just sits in a urinal. Sorry, Sits in a stall and just waits for someone to sit next to him.
Brian Quinn
Can I say one thing?
Adam Carolla
Really?
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Pause.
Brian Quinn
When just the idea, before it even begins, makes you laugh. It's like when you know the premise. When the premise makes you laugh. You're you. You know, you're. I'm laughing already.
Adam Carolla
Nothing's happen. You just watch a guy walk in and start laughing. Right? How's it going in there? I hear my book. Hey, Fell. How's it going? All right. How are you doing? Pretty good. How's it going? What you have for lunch? May I recommend the rotisserie chicken? May I? That's what I got going right now. How's it going? Think you can guess my name?
Brian Quinn
I'll give you five G.
Adam Carolla
John.
James Murray
John.
Adam Carolla
No, that's not it. That's what?
Brian Quinn
Josh.
Adam Carolla
Josh. No, it's not Josh. It's right on the J. Bill. No, not Bill. Not Bill.
James Murray
That's three.
Adam Carolla
You got two. James. I'm sorry, what was that? James. James is absolutely right. I'm positive. People call me Jimmy, but my name is James. That is. That's astounding that you would Guess that.
James Murray
He just stand up to white. He's standing up to white.
Adam Carolla
That's weird.
James Murray
Oh, it's great.
Adam Carolla
All right. You get it.
Brian Quinn
The reason that she's super simple. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you're right. When the guy walks. The first guy walks through the door, you start laughing. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Also, the vulnerability is the foundation of that already. Everyone knows how vulnerable you fear feel when your pants are on your ankles.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Everyone knows you don't want to speak to anyone in there.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brian Quinn
They put you. They put themselves right in that situation.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brian Quinn
And that makes that. That's uncomfortable. That's actually the original. When we pitched the show, it was called Mission Uncomfortable.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brian Quinn
They. The network gave us the stupid name of Impractical Jokers. But. And the other thing is, it's just so funny that the guy, like, all of a sudden, there's rules. There's a game and rules, and the guys opted into those rules.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
And Jimmy's like, probably like, that's two. Go again. And he's like. And he's listening. He's abiding by the rules of this game in a split second.
Adam Carolla
Sure.
Brian Quinn
It's just so funny that he opted in in that state. That's such a. That is the perfect example of a distilled, really funny, simple idea man.
Adam Carolla
And that anybody can have enough. No one does. You know, and also the fact that there's no auxiliary cameras. There's just the floor one where you just see their feet while they're talking, that there's no overhead. Something we've tried to film in bathrooms.
Brian Quinn
You can't. That's the way around it. That's the only way around. You're not allowed.
Adam Carolla
We filmed. We went to the track. We went to the Hollywood Park, I think, and we wanted to figure out what would happen if you just floated a $20 bill at the track in the toile with yellow liquid in it. And, like, how many of those degenerates would go for that? They're going for it. And what if we floated a deuce in there, too? And we realized, yeah, guys should just go in and, like, rinse it off and roll it up, do a little coke. So. But what we didn't really count on is we did get clearance to put cameras in their bathroom, but we. We had the camera in the stall, and we had to film the toilet bowl, and guys would walk in and start dropping their pants, and we were, like, sitting in video village going, oh, my God, no, we didn't count on this.
Brian Quinn
Oh, that's crazy.
Adam Carolla
It was crazy. And yes, nobody has contact. So you don't know how the person.
Brian Quinn
All the people sign.
Adam Carolla
We would get everybody sign. Well, I mean, it was like when we did crank anchors. Like, we get people so irate, they'd hang and scream, I'm gonna kill you if I ever see you and stuff. Then you have to call them back and go, hey, listen, could we. But you'd have to offer them like a Pizza Hut gift certificate or a windbreaker or something like. You must have had to grease a couple of palms to sign. You just. You go, you like Knott's Berry Farm? And they go, yeah, how about two tickets in Knott's Berry? And they go, all right, give me that.
Brian Quinn
We ended up building a whole bit around that concept because it happened to us. They did a punishment where I was like in a waiting room, one on one with someone. And it was called. So basically that what, we made up a fake prank show called Dumb. And so the person would be sitting there, I'd sit there with them for a few minutes, make nonsense chit chat, you know, ingratiate myself. And then there'd be like a dollar bill on the floor or something. Some very, very simple, silly prank, like low hanging fruit. They go, to reach for a dollar, I pull it with a string. And then I go, ha. Like, congratulations, you. You've just been. You're a dumb fuck and you're on Dumb Fucks. And then a flash mob would come out, a sign would drop that said Dumb fucks. A flash mob came out, a marching band, people juggling, like gymnastic people. And then I'd be like, I'm the host of a show called Dumb Fucks and it's a prank show and you are the dumb as fuck because you fell for that.
Adam Carolla
Like.
Brian Quinn
And so. So I'm insulting them to their face, saying, you're on Dumb Fucking. And this flash mob comes out and they're like, what is going on? And cameras come out and I'm like, you know, thank you. And I pick up a mic and then in a snap of a finger, everything goes away. And everyone dissipates this confetti on the floor and everything. And then I. The whole point of it is that I had to go, would you sign this release? After I just called them a dumb.
Adam Carolla
Fuck to their face.
Brian Quinn
So that was like. We took the concept of that and made it into a bit on. On the show. And it's like asking for that release after that whole thing. It was like, it's, you know, you come in them like, hat in hand. Like, would you sign this?
Adam Carolla
Now, did you have to do it yourself or did you have PAs or production, you know, whatever producers do it in the.
Brian Quinn
In this bit. Because of that.
Adam Carolla
Because you're.
Brian Quinn
I did it myself. In the show, we have a team of producers, you know, people that do. To get the signage. And then if they don't sign, we try to go speak to them and introduce ourselves.
James Murray
Yeah, I was gonna say, once you got bigger, you. You got. Then they would go, could you guys, the stars of the show, go out there? Cause they probably recognize you.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, well, if they didn't recognize it, didn'. Usually, if they found out, then they knew the show but didn't place us or something, then it would be okay. But we still get people that say no.
James Murray
Well, the other thing about the show that compared to like, say, Jackass on mtv, everybody that was around my age when Jackass came out tried to emulate Jackass, right? Everybody watched Jackass. And there's so many of my friends that were like, we're buying a video camera. We're gonna smack each other in the nuts. Yeah, your show came out. Everybody watched it. I've never seen anybody try to go back. And we talk about how simple it is, but it's really actually complex and a very tough show job.
Brian Quinn
It's very complex. I would never do anything to Jackass guys. I know those guys. But that's. Yeah, that's accessible. But, like, this is crazy. Like, people don't understand how many people are on staff and what goes into this. So it's like you have to, you know, conceive the idea, then, like kind of poke all the holes in it and then get the network to approve it and then get locations to find the best place to shoot it. Then they go tech scout that. And then that day they get there like eight hours earlier and they build it all out. And then we're in another room in a video village somewhere, and then we there and we write for it, but then we also improvise in the moment. And then you shoot that all out and then that thing's got to be edit. It takes so much to just go into one little thing. It's kind of wild.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. We have Andrew there's reminding me as you're talking about doing the bit where they sign. There's always a. There was a crank anchors bit. I don't know if we have in our archives or not, but it was. Jeff Goldblum, the actor played a lawyer who represented a class action lawsuit against the producers of Crank Yankers and called everyone from season one to sign them up for a class action lawsuit against the producers of Crank Yankers. So that was a little prank on Prank Delivered. Yeah. And it was funny because the people were very apprehensive because they already got burned once with the prank call and now they didn't believe it. But soon as he started talking about money, they got more interested in signing up for the second round of Crank.
Brian Quinn
Yanker burning and then got him again.
Adam Carolla
I think it was Jeff Goldblum and I think he recalled people from season one and season two as an attorney, which always made me laugh. I don't know why. I love that one.
Brian Quinn
Fool me once, then it's like, you gotta.
Adam Carolla
That's really cool. The greatest moment is when people play along. The other one you can look at alternatively is Jimmy calling the sex shop trying to price some butt plugs and dildos and stuff like that. And he's ordering a pizza and Sarah Silverman, his elderly mom, picks up the other line and next thing you know, the guy works at the sex shop is giving her the specials at the pizza joint because he's sucked into this thing now. He can't get out. Oh, that's a. I love it when you get someone to.
Brian Quinn
We do that on the show a lot.
Adam Carolla
That's great. Right?
Brian Quinn
Yeah. People vouch for us or make believe there's someone they're not, you know?
Adam Carolla
Right. Right.
Brian Quinn
We just shot one where I went up to someone, I said, can you do me a favor? My. My mother is coming here today. She's supposed to be my girlfriend. My girlfriend just dumped me.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Brian Quinn
Do me. Do me a. I'm not ready to have the conversation with her, you know? Can you just do me. Can you just play my girlfriend? She'll be here in five minutes. Just talk to her. But then, of course, mother comes. She's digging in. She's asking. I said, we're making assumptions. She's like. So he.
Adam Carolla
She.
Brian Quinn
You know, my son tells me that, you know braille, you know, and then she's got to. And then this person's lying on your behalf. You met them three minutes ago. That I love. We love doing that.
Adam Carolla
The bit. The. The bit. You guys can use this. I'm giving it. I'm giving it to you. I. We never ended up doing it. We. We did man show auditions once for juggies where they would come in and we'd look at their thing and. And they speak in Irish accent or something, but they couldn't do anything. But I always wanted to do a show where it was like the waiting room of an audition, and anyone's been to that. It's like an office in front of the casting director, and there's always five or six. First off, they tell all the actors, when you go into those auditions, you go, what time's yours? Noon. What time's yours? Noon. What time's yours? Noon. Oh, they just told everyone to get here at noon. Cause they don't give a fuck. Cause they should go. So you do noon, you do 12:15, you do 12:30. But they don't give a shit because you're starving. You'll take the job. What do they care? Sit there. So everyone sits there, and then there's the sides, and they just sit and read the sides. I always wanted to do a practical joke where we had a plant actor, and they were sitting in there, and they're like, yeah, you know, and they're looking at their resume, you know? Cause a resume at the bottom always says, like. Like, sword. You know? No sword and ship, or English and cockney accents or whatever. And they would befriend them, and they'd go, I wrote Western and English equestrian. I've never been on a horse, man. And then they'd go, I don't know how to handle a sword, but my drama coach told me to write a sword. And then they come in and they go, you're perfect. But the story's about a swordsman. But this is good, because you can handle a sword. And that's a lot of the reason we picked it was, know, you. You between you and some other guy, but he couldn't handle the sword. But you. You have all that experience with the sword, so. And then the guy'd have to go, oh, yeah, yeah. It's like, what's your favorite sword? Oh, the. The medium one, you know? Yeah. Okay, well, good. We got our stunt coordinator, Brett, in the next room. He's brought a couple of swords in. Let's just see if we can work on whatever it is they didn't do. Yeah, they got the job. But now we're doing.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, that we. We on the show. That's one of the ways we throw people to the bus. Like, one time we did a panel, and. And then we.
Adam Carolla
We made.
Brian Quinn
We made Joe a quantum physics expert. And there was, like. The whole entire audience was esteemed. Like, he was there to answer questions and participate in the panel and had to just wing his way through this thing. That's the best. You feel like the biggest deer in the headlights when you have to represent, like, some knowledge that you don't have. So that's, like. That's one of the most fun. And then when you put it on the. That's what we do. But when you put it on the. The actual mark, it's so great because they just.
Adam Carolla
I. I will play. I'll play. Jeff. Is this Jeff or is this. Oh, no, this is. Sorry, this is Sarah Silverman and Jimmy. Yes. When the mark plays along, the best. Mega.
James Murray
Little orphanal.
Adam Carolla
I also have to imagine what these people would have looked like. I still wanted to do a show where we put their puppet against the actual person and go, did we get what you looked like? He's talking to a Tilde Castle megastore. Hey, how's it going? Pretty good in yourself?
Brian Quinn
Good, thanks.
Adam Carolla
You have those pumps for the penis, the suction penis enlarging pumps? Yeah, we sure do. You do?
Brian Quinn
That's great.
Adam Carolla
And what are. What's the price range on those things? They range anywhere in price from about $30 up to. For a whole set, probably about 5, 6, $700. Whoa. 5, 6, 7. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hey, mom, hang up the phone. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm on the phone. Please hang up. Who's that? Who is the voice? Don't worry who it is.
Brian Quinn
Just hang up the phone. I'm on the telephone now.
Adam Carolla
I have to know. It's a pizza place. I'm ordering a pizza, okay? Please hang up the phone. Well, I was making dinner. I know you're making dinner. I want to order a pizza. Do you mind if I eat a pizza? I'm 35 years old. Thank you. Anyway. $700. Yeah, the bottom pumps for the. What's the name of that one? Boston Pump Works.
Brian Quinn
And how does that work exactly?
Adam Carolla
You put your balls in there. You pump it. The suction. You know what? Hang up the phone if you're gonna get pizza. I'll have pasta. Okay, I'll order you pasta. Hang up the phone, please. Well, I. What kind?
James Murray
Jesus Christ.
Adam Carolla
What kind of pasta do you have?
Brian Quinn
Oh, amazing.
Adam Carolla
Well, we've got. We've got lasagna.
Brian Quinn
They have lasagna. Look at the tubes.
Adam Carolla
It's rigatoni or something. You have rigatoni? Yeah, we sure do. They got rigatoni. Okay, I'll get you a rigatoni.
Brian Quinn
Sure, dude. I want the tubes.
Adam Carolla
That is the tubes. It's the big tubes. It's the thick ones. You want the penne? Do you have penne? Yeah, we sure do. They have penne Is that what you're looking for? The thin tubes? Yes. Okay. All right. Can you hang up, please? Well, I'd like to have a sauce on the tubes. This is what my son does.
Brian Quinn
He's a pasture.
Adam Carolla
What kind of sauces do you have? We have the marinara sauce and the Alfredo sauce.
Brian Quinn
They got the marinara and the Alfredo.
Adam Carolla
Okay. Yeah. That's all we have. That's all they have. What do you want? Marinara, please. Okay, Marinara. We'll get you an order of the penne with marinara. Okay. The salad. Salad. All right, thanks. Hang up, Mom. Hang up.
James Murray
I need to finish salad, please.
Adam Carolla
Hang up. Just hang up, okay.
Brian Quinn
Oh, this woman.
Adam Carolla
Thank you for doing that, by the way. I appreciate it.
Brian Quinn
So you said you put your cock and balls in the Boston pump.
Adam Carolla
It's $700. Is it worth it? Well, the pieces. You buy the pieces individually. It's like Legos that you put your dick into. Yeah, kind of. Right, Kind of. I like to prefer, you know, like. It's more of like an erector set. It's more like an erector set. It's more like an erection set is what it's like, I guess.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Can I return this? If it doesn't enlarge my penis?
James Murray
What? Enlarge your penis?
Adam Carolla
Hang up the phone. Does the pizza enlarge your penis? You're buying more toys than you don't.
James Murray
Have enough under your bed.
Adam Carolla
That's in my house.
Brian Quinn
I told you to hang up the phone.
Adam Carolla
Now hang it up. I'm having a personal call here. Please hang up the phone. I paid a phone bill. I paid for my own calls.
Brian Quinn
This man is on the telephone.
Adam Carolla
He's trying to do business. Hang up. Okay, you take credit cards, MasterCard, Discover, an American Express. Okay, I'll be by around 8 then. All right. You have a good night. I'll see you then.
Brian Quinn
It's perfect.
Adam Carolla
That's perfect. Perfect because you got sucked. He got sucked into it.
Brian Quinn
We did this bit on the show we call the Japanese Businessman. So what we do is. So we're in an office, we hire a temp work worker, right? So they're just doing some busy work. We give them. Right? And then. We've played this a few times, actually. John Mayer played this game with us when he was a guest on it. And so we're sitting there, next time, we introduce ourselves as, like, one of the, like, higher ups, right? They're doing some busy work. And then someone comes in and goes, sir, Sir. And they go. And then, like. Yeah, he goes The Japanese businessmen are here. And we go, what? They're supposed to be here tomorrow. I don't know what happened. There was a mix up. They're here. They're coming up the elevator right now. And I'm like, but I. But the CEO is not here. We have to give this presentation. We're gonna lose this account, whatever. And he's like, I don't know what to tell you. And then I just look at the person and go, you gotta do me a favor real quick, please. Can you just be the CEO of the company really quick. I have a presentation. It'll take care of itself. Otherwise, you know, please, please. And they just go, okay. And then we hired three Japanese actors to come in. They come down the hall in suits and they sit down. And then this person acts as the CEO and gives this presentation.
Adam Carolla
I love it.
Brian Quinn
And that's. That's exactly. It's like an extension of that. And it's like. But they're talk about, you know, fourth quarter earnings and all that. So they have no knowledge of. And then we have an earpiece in the actors, you know, so we asked them, can you go over this first? Can you over that? And these people just start winging these answers, like playing the CEO. And it's like, those are my. Those are my. We've been doing a lot of that style lately. It's my favorite type of bit.
Adam Carolla
I agree. Stakes are so high. Yes.
Brian Quinn
People have no knowledge whatsoever, you know?
Adam Carolla
No. When you can draw them in. Yeah. Or when something happens. That's serendipity. Like, you go, oh, we didn't even think of this. We had Jim Florentine who was calling in, trying to get a job, and he just kept belching as loud as he could into the phone. And you'd think he'd get caught up. Like, they go. Like, the guy would know it was him belching into the phone. But he thought somebody picked up another line and was belching into the phone for some reason. Like, we didn't anticipate that. And he started yelling. The guy who worked at the place started yelling at the guy who was belching into the phone because he thought he knew who it was. He thought he was some disgruntled co worker who picked up the party line and was just belching into it. And he was threatening the guy.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And then Jim started acting indignant, like, I don't know if I'm going to work for a company that's this unprofessional.
Brian Quinn
Couldn't plan it. You couldn't plan ever plan that you.
Adam Carolla
Never could because you wouldn't think the guy would think there was a third guy on the, on the line. And you never know. But you got to stay fluid, got to kind of be like a center fielder before the balls hit. Like we don't know if we're going backpedaling or charging.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, yeah. I love. I mean that's, that's when the magic. That's magic. You know what I mean? When that happens. We had a guy on the. We had a guy waiting the waiting room once and we cut the, the, the lights went off and then we were playing the like receptionist in that area. And so then when the lights went off, we just were like, yep. Then the lights went back on. I'm like, oh, they're on the, like they're on a sound thing. They have to go off. It's a, it's an energy efficiency thing. You just have to go, yep. And they come back on. And then we, we left to go to the bathroom and the lights kept.
Adam Carolla
Going off and the guy just sitting in a room alone going, yep, yep, yep.
Brian Quinn
And just yipping. Like we left him there for 10 minutes and he just. And you wouldn't believe it, but the lights went off like 30 times. And like the guy is in at 10 minutes later, his 30th. Yep. Going, yep. And it's coming back on this.
Adam Carolla
It's the best.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And you never know.
Brian Quinn
It's so stupid, but it's just so. Something about it is so simple and funny.
Adam Carolla
You know what I mean?
Brian Quinn
Just like it's ridiculous that he thinks yipping out loud would turn the lights back on, but.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I agree. And listen, I. It may be. I don't know if it's dying off, but it was something that was a big part of every guy I know's childhood. The practical joke. And it's according, like, according to my 19 year old son. I mean, I watched him and his buddies and stuff. They don't beat the shit out of each other. The headlock is gone. The headlock. It's like 80% of my job is like headlocks.
Brian Quinn
Throw a full nelson in it.
Adam Carolla
Full Nelson and headlocks. That's all it was. Furniture knocked over and stuff. Like I would like come into the room and my son, you know, when he's like 13, 12, whatever, he's just sitting on the sofa with like four of his friends, they're just like sitting there and I would like walk in, I'd go, why aren't you guys wrestling Roughhousing. Roughhousing. Like we're watching tv.
James Murray
Like elementary schools teach that it's bullying, impractical jokes and nicknames can't even have nicknames.
Adam Carolla
Toxic masculinity. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
I thought I'd have a few broken coffee tables by now.
Adam Carolla
Oh my God. Yeah. It was always about busting something in the house. Furniture getting toppled over, moved around. They could always tell. My buddy Chris's mom would always come back and see that the sofa was like cattywampus. Like it was a little off. You could see the indentations on the carpet where it used to be. You know, it was like four inches back from that. Which meant we were just beating the shit out of each other.
Brian Quinn
We had full blown WWF rap.
James Murray
I know.
Brian Quinn
I mean dropping elbows off of the. Like literally doing it.
Adam Carolla
I know, I know. It's so weird that they don't. I, I don't know. Again, it's like. I don't know. Grubhub and low testosterone counts and low sperm counts and like I, I think there's.
Brian Quinn
What does grubhub have to do with it?
Adam Carolla
The food being food being dropped off while there's, you know, movies on demand. And like they'd all just be sitting there eating chicken fingers. They'd be doused in ranch. You know, it's like too much ranch. I think they're going to discover correlation between intake of ranch and low testosterone. And no roughhousing. Like if you saw a chart like by the. Ranch was not a part of my childhood. Now they're dipping pizza into it. They're drinking it out of the container, you know, their mainland. My kid and I IV with ranch just to eat fries.
Brian Quinn
I was about 30.
Adam Carolla
I didn't know what ranch was. A weird salad dress maybe. But yeah, ranch was a weird thing that wasn't part of the offering, you know. And. And if you see the intake of ranch, you'll also see low tea and no. No rough housing and no rough and tumble play like it's. It's ranch. It may be ranch that caused all this. I blame big ranch. I blame. They're hidden there in that valley trying to kill our. Because it was not. People under 40 cannot order food without a side of ranch.
James Murray
Sure.
Adam Carolla
You can't get fries or chicken tenders. You go, I'll do some. You have some ranch too. Like there's.
Brian Quinn
We had ketchup. Ketchup was ketchup.
Adam Carolla
Was it? That's as. That's as far as it.
Brian Quinn
That's what I feel like. It's All I need to this day is ketchup.
Adam Carolla
I know, because you're over 40, but if you're under 40, you need ranch. All right, let's give you a plug. I know you got a heart out, so you got places to be, but you can come back anytime.
Brian Quinn
Thanks. Thanks for having me. Thanks for making the time.
Adam Carolla
You like? Oh, it's our pleasure. Live show, Everything's Fine. Tour Portland, coming up. Salt Lake City. Coming up. San Diego. Coming up, special, terrified. Oh, hbo Max.
Brian Quinn
Yes, sir.
Adam Carolla
Is that where you see that?
Brian Quinn
Yes, sir.
Adam Carolla
And podcast. Hey, babe. Oh, with Chris. I didn't know that.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, I got one with Derosa called Taste Buds. And I got a new talk show coming out called Minouche that'll be out in the winter.
Adam Carolla
Oh, good. Chris DiStefano, by the way, for those who don't know. All right, we'll take a break, we'll come back, we'll do the news right after this. Home Title Lock. Well, if you're a homeowner in America, you need to hear this. There's a kind of real estate fraud going on. It's all around us now and it's called title theft. The FBI has been warning about this and yeah, your home equity, well, that's the target. Here's how it works. Criminals forge your signature, use a fake notary, file one document, do it with the county, and on paper, they now own your home. They can take out loans against your equity, even sell your property. And you don't find out until notices start showing up in the mail. That's why I partnered with Home Title Lock. They can help protect your home equity and tell you if you're already a victim, don't wait until it's too late. It's home title lock. Right, Dawson? Use our promo code adamometitlelock.com and you'll get a free title history report and free trial of their million dollar triple lock protection. That's 247 monitoring on your title records, urgent alerts to any changes. And if fraud occurs, their US based restoration team will spend up to $1 million to fix it. Find out how we trust Home title lock. That's hometitlelock.com promo code Adam. Or use the link below Shopify. Well, you want to start a business, but a business can be intimidating. To start lots fail, you need things in your corner, on your side. Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started, but you're going to hear of them soon. Get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready to use templates. Shopify. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store to match your brand's style. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. And best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping and processing returns and beyond. It's Shopify. Right? Dawson? Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side, Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com corolla go to shopify.com corolla shopify.com corolla it's time to check Adam's voicemail mail. Hey there ace man and crew. Dan Blaine, Washington. Wondering if you have any thoughts on these bright ass LED headlights. Used to be just the douchebags that replace their OEMs. Now every new car comes equipped and I need to drive with my visor down at night. What happened to lumen restrictions? Get it on. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. I don't know, I feel like new cars, the headlights are so smart that go up and down and up and down. Like they shift. You don't have to do the high beams and the low beams and everything. I know. Not an issue. I've not found that to be an issue. But I like that you worked lumen into a discussion. And I like the fact that there's like we have leagues and lumen and volts and yards and watts and fathoms, you know, Leagues. Yep. And I like trying to think of the one. I like that we have knots, you know, like miles per hour. Not good enough. We need knots.
James Murray
Knots.
Adam Carolla
Knots. Yeah. I like that there's all these units of measurements. I like BTUs. British thermal units. What's this oven putting out? The stovetop's putting out 5,000 BTUs. I just love that. I love all the. You know what? I would. Here's a question for Rudy.
James Murray
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And a question for Dawson. Are you ready? Yes. The average male, which we are could name slightly above how many units of measurement versus the average female. Because I think if I talk to the average female, they go there's miles per hour and then there's acres. Acres. And then there's the cutometer or something. Well, when a teddy bear is so cute. I can't stop but hugging it.
James Murray
We call it a cutometer.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's how you measure.
James Murray
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Like I don't know that most women I know could come up with more than three and a half units of measurement. And guys got leagues and fathoms and btm. Like, we could keep going. Well, you break up into the metric system, and it's decimeters and. Sure.
James Murray
You got the five degrees of Kevin Bacon.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's what they would have. Yeah. All right. You got some news? I got a. I got to tell you, I had a couple great confusing conversation with Mike August. Cause you know how all conversations with Mike are confusing.
James Murray
Yes, they are.
Adam Carolla
Now here's why I'm frequently confused in life. Fathoms. I said fathoms. Oh, I thought you. We had leagues and fathoms. I heard leagues. No, no, we had fathoms. I understand how things work, and other people don't understand how things work. And so people tell me things that don't make sense to me, but it doesn't not make sense to them. Cause they don't know how anything works. So they just start saying something. And I go, that doesn't sound right. That doesn't sound right. So I was talking to Mike, and he goes, well, I talked to this guy on Friday. You got to make sure and talk to him about his. He has a product. He has an invention. I go, what's the invention? He goes, you know the trap? The P trap Underneath the sink and the toilet? I go, yeah. By the way, man has not improved on the trap. The trap is just that ewe that goes under your sink. It's called a P trap. I don't think this has to do with the pee pee, but it's P trap. But your trap is where the water's trapped and the water's trapped so the vapor from the sewage line doesn't come up and infiltrate your house. Yeah, right. And it works pretty good.
James Murray
Yeah. It's also there for dads to take apart when their daughter drops a ring down.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
James Murray
And then you gotta. It put pull four linear feet of hair out of the goddamn.
Adam Carolla
Oh, God. Women's hair.
James Murray
That's gross.
Adam Carolla
So Mike goes, eh, this guy's got an invention of how to dry up the P trap. And I go, why do you need an invention to dry up a P trap? And he goes, like in a house that's abandoned or not being used for a long period of time, you drive that P trap? And I go, no, no, you don't want to drive the P trap because then the gases will get back into the house. You. The p trap dries up on its own on an abandoned. Like if you could have a downstairs bathroom they haven't used in two years, and the P trap. The trap will drop, the water will evaporate, you know. Then he goes, well, this is for drying up the p trap. And I go, but why would you want to dry up a trap? And he goes, you know, if you're not using the house. I go, yeah, but if you're not using the house, you don't want the gases from the sewer coming. You want the water. He goes, well, the water. Water gets. Now Mike's doing. He's off. He's off. The water gets bad, and you want to get that water out of there. I go, see, Mike, I think it's the opposite. I don't think you dry up. I think you want the water. Yeah, but the water will just be there forever. I go, no, no, the water will evaporate, and then the gases will get in. So what is this invention to dry up the water in a bathroom you're not using downstairs? Why is that an invention? It'll dry up on its own, and then the gases will get into the house from the sewer. And he goes, no, no, that water just stay there forever. This is. Now Mike's scatting. Sure.
James Murray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Cause he's made an incorrect premise, and now he doesn't know what to do.
James Murray
Grasping for P traps.
Adam Carolla
What he can't do is go, oh, you know more than I do about plumbing. Let me recheck this. So I got. He goes, well, the water will just sit there forever. I go, well, it can't sit there forever. Like, you can't fill your dog's bowl. And then it'll just be there in seven years. It'll evaporate. That'll be there. I go, let's go up and look online and see how long water sits in a P trap online. And he'll go, it's funny, because once in a while, the Internet gives you. He goes, water in a p trap will last for the life of the winner. And he kind of looks at me and goes, see? And then he goes, unless you don't use it, in which case it's two to three weeks. And I was like, yes. So it's gone. So he goes, anyway, the guy's got an invention to dry up. I go, mike, there is no. First off, it'll dry up on its own if you abandon the house so why do we need an invention? And then secondly, this doesn't make sense to me because you want water in the P traps so the gases don't come pouring into the house. And he goes, I go check the guy's email. Let's see what he said. So he checked it out. I have, okay, I have coming up with a patent invention to keep water in the P trap when the bathroom is not being used. And I said, yeah, Mike, you flipped it. And then we went off down retard trail for 20 minutes, and now we're back because. Because I know how shit works and you don't. And then as I'm walking out, he goes, what's the big deal about the gases in an empty house? And I go, okay, Mike, you didn't make your point. Nothing. But I'm right, and you don't want gases in your house whether you're in it or not.
James Murray
Sure.
Adam Carolla
Okay. So there you go.
James Murray
I got a side question.
Adam Carolla
Took a while. It took a long while.
James Murray
Side question.
Adam Carolla
But by the way, the reason everything takes a long while is because no one got. Hey, you're a genius who knows about plumbing. Let me check this right? I may be wrong. No, no, we have to keep going in this invention that dries up the thing you want.
James Murray
Yeah. I was one time told, don't ever take the knife out of the surgeon's hand. And I have lived by that motto. And I am telling you, my life is so much easier because I realize so many people have so much more information than I do. So then I go, okay, you know what? Instead of me trying to exert any sort of energy towards, how about the guy who knows what he's doing? Even if you have no less than me, how about you just go do it anyways?
Adam Carolla
But here's the problem. I have no information. And he has all the information because he has the email that the guy sent him about his invention that he fucked up and misinterpreted. Sure, of course. But he doesn't realize that he does that. And I have no information except for I have God on my side and I understand how everything works. And so anybody else, if he said to Andrew over there, the guy's got an invention, dries up, the water gets caught in the P trap. Andrew would go, why didn't someone think of that earlier? And then he'd walk out of the room.
James Murray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
But I go, who wants that invention? Nobody wants that invention. That's not invention. I don't know what you're talking about. But you're misinterpreting something. Because that's not what anyone wants.
James Murray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Because I see everything.
James Murray
Does this guy have like a side invention not only for the P trap.
Adam Carolla
But also for the toy toilet and the vagina?
James Murray
Get out.
Adam Carolla
You can dry that thing up.
James Murray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Boom.
James Murray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Instant sand.
James Murray
Because when I go on the road, sometimes I'm gone for so long, I come back to my apartment and the second I open my door, I'm like, the toilets have dried out. I can smell it. Because, you know, I'll be gone for sometimes like five to six weeks at a pop on the road. And then I come back.
Adam Carolla
Well, this guy's got. This guy has an invention to not let that happen.
James Murray
Awesome. Well, good.
Adam Carolla
Right?
James Murray
Now see, if he'd been. If Mike had been doing the marketing for this, I would have never bought this guy's toilet. What do you want to call it? Hydrator.
Adam Carolla
Right?
James Murray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Okay. All right. What do you got?
James Murray
Let's go. Luigi Mangione was once roughed up by a group of transgender women during a wild night out in Thailand in the months before he allegedly gunned down UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson. In a new report, the 27 year old accused assassin allegedly bragged to his friends over WhatsApp about his raucous nightlife backpacking through Asia before he returned to the US in July of 2024 and allegedly shot Thompson. In December, Mangione claimed that he had been beaten up by seven quote lady boys in Bangkok and shared a photo of his battered and scratched arms.
Adam Carolla
Bangkok, European shit. The world's gayest song by Murray Head.
James Murray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
That's the only time I've ever made my son laugh. When that song comes on, I go, this is the gayest song ever written.
James Murray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Murray Head is the guy's name and it's one night in Bangkok.
James Murray
Did you guys ever, when you guys were kids when somebody would go, hey, what's the capital of Thailand?
Adam Carolla
Whack.
James Murray
Whack. Right in the cock.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. That's how we rolled. Yeah. Then we would offer the grieving a hurts donut and then we'd punch him in the arm.
James Murray
Yep. After that, a 52 pickup.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. The cards. Yeah. Was also a movie starring Roy Scheider.
James Murray
A night in Bangkok. No.
Adam Carolla
52 pickup.
James Murray
Oh, 52 pickup. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
52 pickup. Always be talking about the last thing you said.
James Murray
Sorry. You're right. You are right. I'm sorry.
Adam Carolla
52 pickup is of Roy Scheider. Like weird suspense action cop something movie. It was like one of those 80s movies that somehow slid under the radar. Like, people have no idea how many movies have been made that they've just never heard of. Maybe Ann. Margaret was in 52 pickup with Roy Scheider. It never shows up on cable. No one cares. It's never been spoken. Except for by me. But he made a movie.
James Murray
Yeah, he also played. He's like such a good, gristled, kind of haggard guy, you know, he plays what, the sheriff in Jaws.
Adam Carolla
Great.
James Murray
Yeah, he's great in that. Everything else was. Yeah, there you go.
Adam Carolla
There it is. Roy Scheider.
James Murray
Okay, can we just.
Adam Carolla
And Margaret, can we double check to make sure. Vanity.
James Murray
Who's Vanity?
Adam Carolla
Vanity was one of Prince's proteges.
James Murray
Really?
Adam Carolla
Clarence William iii. Who I know from the Mod Squad, but you guys know from. Wait a minute.
James Murray
He was like the caretaker of the mortuary and Tales from the Hood.
Adam Carolla
From the Hood. Clarence Williams iii. Uh huh.
James Murray
Oh, great movie.
Adam Carolla
He wasn't. Oh, God. What was he in anyway? So weird. I don't know. What. 1984? What? 86. Yeah, there it is.
James Murray
Look at Ann Margret.
Adam Carolla
She's the hottest beauty. Can't do better than her beauty. Yeah, and that voice to. Anyway, all right, where were we? Roy Schneider.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Luigi. Luigi.
James Murray
Oh, you know what? Roy Schneider could have played Luigi in a movie in his younger days.
Adam Carolla
Scheider.
James Murray
Schneider. I say Schneider. I'm sorry.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, you're thinking about One day at a time. Schneider.
James Murray
Schneider.
Adam Carolla
Remember every sitcom just had that guy, maintenance guy guy show up, bring a little leaven into the situation.
James Murray
Like Wings.
Adam Carolla
Wings had it even at some point. Good Times had it with Bookman. Bookman was the name of the janitor in the building who would show up. That was like season five or something of Good Times. He showed up later and they started bringing comedy into. More comedy.
James Murray
More comedy. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So anyway, Luigi was. I saw a picture of Luigi and then I started thinking back in Dawson. I don't know if it's in the computer, but there's a picture of me when I was like 21 and I was building my grandmother's kitchen. And I was wearing a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt, a blue Mickey Mouse sweatshirt. And I was standing in my grandmother's kitchen that I was building. It's in the computer somewhere. And I thought. And I saw that picture of Luigi and I thought, that's kind of what I looked like when I was 21.
James Murray
I can see it.
Adam Carolla
We'll see it. But anyway, so the he shes or the she boys or what are they called?
James Murray
Lady boys.
Adam Carolla
Lady boys, I get that's a business. But I don't. The guys that are into that confuse me and I don't trust them. And I don't know, like, I'm not really into the partially gay thing. I'm into. It's not a dimmer switch, it's a toggle.
James Murray
Yeah, you are. You're ass for me.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And it's sort of like, well, I'm not into dudes, but I do like the ladyboys. They have a nice penis, you know, but fake titties or like, whatever. I'm like, something's up, something's wrong, don't trust it. Yeah, not my thing.
James Murray
No, not like once a year you just take a trip over to Thailand and rent one of these gals or guys, I guess maybe for the next.
Adam Carolla
Well, like, who do you know? Like, what celebrity you hear about? Some. A little David Bowie and a little Mick Jagger. But like, what celebrity really ever went like, oh, this guy is just a straight guy. Cause no one knew back in the day. And then at some point, Elton John announces he's bi. And now he's been married to a dude for 37 years. It's never back. He's not with Ann Margaret, he's with Roy Scheider. The whole point is no one ever goes back. They go. Once they cross into this, they're going. That. That's what I'm saying. All right. I don't also. It's gotta be a weird part where, I mean, as a nation, you gotta take a good look in the mirror when your main industry is sex tourism. Yeah. You know what I mean? Absolutely. Like, what do you guys places do? Industrial diamonds. Other places do chips. Other places do natural earth or. Oh, God, rare earth minerals and stuff like that. But you do ladyboys.
James Murray
Sure.
Adam Carolla
That's a weird thing to have on your resume.
James Murray
Yeah. It's like the countries when the Green Bay packers were playing in Brazil and everyone's like, let's go down to Brazil. Let's go to Brazil. I'm like, no, let's wait until they play Ireland. Let's play London. I don't need to go to a place where I have to have a fake wallet in my back pocket in case I get robbed. I'm totally okay with that.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Yeah, I agree.
James Murray
Don't need it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, me in Mexico, I was only 16. I think that picture there is standing in the kitchen. Well, you wouldn't even know it was a kitchen. It's just me with the Mickey Mouse blue Mickey Mouse shirt on. Yeah. I was 16. We went to Tijuana.
James Murray
Is that Tijuana? You're in Tijuana there?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I'm in Tijuana.
James Murray
Okay. Oh, I was gonna say the glasses look like some sort of margarita. So I was 16.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. Drinking margaritas. 16 flower in my hair. And by the way, by the way, the strange dude on the far right, just a marine we picked up, like that guy was not friends of mine, that's a 23 year old Marine who just wanted to party. Wow. Yeah, that's how Tijuana works. Just a bunch of fucking people show up, you start getting drunk. Was he one of the men that was left behind? Yeah, he's one of the men that was left behind. He was a good man. I left a lot of guys. I mean, this guy's just some jarhead from camp, whatever in, in San Diego. Just, he was solo. Yeah, it was like, yeah, he's probably from Kentucky or something. Or like, yeah, party.
James Murray
Last chopper out of Bangkok brought him right down to Tijuana. In fact, I was actually in El Paso recently and the guy said, I go, what about going over to Mexico, man? We go over there and get a couple of drinks and the guy goes, dude, you're better off going to Tijuana. Going to, what is the place called? Chihuahua, Next door to El Paso. They're like, dude, you don't want to go. And I said, oh, is it scary? They go, not the locals, the Federal.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
James Murray
They'll shake you down over the border.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, I have been. I got lucky. I've been to Tijuana many times. Got, you know, a little bit of trouble and never got any trouble at the Federale. Yeah, I got woken up by Federale after passing out in an alley and I didn't even do anything. Yeah, yeah. Hit me with this nightstick, really poked me.
James Murray
It's a weird name for his dick.
Adam Carolla
He just poked me like, get up. And I was like, oh, yeah. And it's like, I'm just gonna. Going to catch some Z's in this alley behind Margarita's Village. And he woke me up and he didn't arrest me, he just said, go back in, man.
James Murray
Good times. We were down in. We were at a strip club in Tijuana one night and there was a woman up on stage and two dudes just sitting on Sniffer's Row. And she just came over and had her ass right in front of his face and he just licked an index finger and boop. Right, right up in there. And she laughed and he laughed and they all got a good chuckle out of it. And I was like, you'd have two broken arms in Vegas if that ever happened.
Adam Carolla
I don't know if you want upper, but at the Unicorn off of Revolution Boulevard in Tijuana, guys did more than their finger. No way. They used their mouth.
Brian Quinn
Wow.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, man. Oh yeah.
James Murray
They let that guy stick his finger in his mouth. That's crazy.
Adam Carolla
I walked out, I said, I got a taste of old Mexico. I was laughing at my friends the whole time. Oh, yeah. Live band got the trumpet, the dent in it, you know what I mean? One guy that. It's not really a drummer, it's a snare drum and a guy playing a giant guitar. Like, it was awesome.
James Murray
That's great. Good times, man. All right. Former ESPN employee says middle school daughter faced an obviously naturally born boy in a basketball game. Sam Ponder has been outspoken about trans athletes in girl sports. Ponder said last month that it is ridiculous to have transgender athletes compete.
Adam Carolla
Is she former? Former, you say? Former espn.
James Murray
Former espn.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. You can't start talking like this unless you're former.
James Murray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
If you're current, you gotta just suck a dick and shut up. Cause you'll get fired.
James Murray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
But if you're former, then you can start speaking freely. Yeah.
James Murray
Also her husband Christian. Sam and Christian both lived in Minnesota and yeah, loved him. As residents, they're great. They're such nice, good, hearty people who now live in New York City. And you can definitely tell she makes a comment about where somebody says, well, why don't you just go ahead and move? And she's like, I don't wanna move. It's New York City. But they're having a little bit of culture shock as they are moving to such a big place that has leagues and such with children that allow this to happen.
Adam Carolla
You know, it's interesting. Oh, she was fired in 2024. You know, it's interesting. Here's an interesting thought experiment. Everyone who's involved with these left leaning organizations, sadly, like ESPN or anyone, when they leave, then they go, now I can say what I really feel. There's nobody who leaves the right and goes, now I say what I can really feel what I say. You already said it. You know what I mean? Like, what are they doing to you that you have all these pent up opinions that you can't share and then you understand that you'll get shit canned if you share those opinions in that environment where you're supposed to be speaking truth to power. Except for we'll cut your ass if you say anything that disagrees with us or you don't wanna get the jab, or you speak out against transgender whatever, you're out. So who's the oppressive group here? If you think about it, cuz I know a lot of people that left the left and now are speaking their mind. By the way, they didn't have a change of mind. They're in their 40s and 50s. They're just feel free to speak their mind now because they were involved with an oppressive regime that wouldn't let them speak their mind. So now once people leave espn, then we can find out what they're really thinking. But it's not like once people leave Prageru, we can find out what they're really thinking. That's what they thought the whole fucking time. So who's doing the lying here? So anyway, Samantha Steele is fired. I don't know what she got fired.
James Murray
For, but yeah, Sam Ponder. So it was fired.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Sam Ponder, 2024.
James Murray
I don't know if it's because of the words, it doesn't mention this in the article. But basically.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Samantha Steel Ponder. Oh, okay.
James Murray
Yep. But what Basically what she was talking about was we've taught our kids to never make fun of this child, to always be kind and loving and that the parents are the problem, that no kid is born in the wrong body. But if I'm honest, watching my daughter get posted up by a boy whose parents have deceived him in this way is maddening.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
James Murray
Well, it's funny that people are willing to die on this hill for such this cause because it seems like this is such a no brainer. Why are you there? Boys who are obviously much bigger, much faster, much stronger, allowed to compete against biological girls and parents. Go. Yeah, of course. It's so pragmatic to just go, yeah, no, no, no, go. And we're not saying you can't participate in sports. You just can't participate in this league. Let's find something else that fits you.
Adam Carolla
Well, their argument is like, that's right. It's so rare that. What do you. They always do that thing where they go. It's hardly. It represents less than 1/10 of 1%. So what do you care? It's like, I don't know if it's 1/10 of 1%. That's not fair to whoever.
James Murray
Yeah, ask Riley Gaines.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, ask Riley Gaines. I didn't have a daughter that played against biological males in volleyball. So I got lucky. And most people don't. But for the person that does. Why should they have to endure that? Yeah, there is a Now, Dawson. I wonder where that picture is of me in my blue shirt. Never know with the computer, but it's in books and stuff too. I feel like it's around and when you. It's gotta be in that computer. But anyway, somebody, some female who's running from for governor of California was getting into it with. Well, actually, there's two good clips. There's Whoopi Goldberg. Her clip resurfaced about. She's sitting with Dylan Mulvaney.
James Murray
The Bud Light endorser, Right?
Adam Carolla
Yes. And she's talking about how powerful women are and she's making. She's a dope. I retweeted and said we forgot this woman was a. She's a dope. Like, Whoopi Goldberg is really fucking dumb. Like, I don't think you can be talented and dumb. You know, it's actually nice if you're talented and dumb. But she's talented or was talented and it's now just left with dumb. The talent part got kind of rinsed out of the fabric of Whoopi and now all that's left is dumb. But her comments and then whoever is running for California, and I'll give you a primer here, she's talking to Piers Morgan and he's kind of trying to drill down about like, so the Olympics are coming to United States. Would you like to see this? And it's not Katie Porter. I would have told Katie Porter. Yeah, but we'll see, Mulvane. We'll listen to Whoopi and her pearls of wisdom first, which I like. And by the way, whenever a woman or a black person or a black woman does the. You don't understand me because you're not black. They've lost the. They've cashed in their chips. They can't make an argument anymore because I don't know. Yes. I don't have fallopian tubing, so I couldn't possibly understand anything that has to do with a woman. All right, sorry, go ahead. Last week, California Governor Gavin Newsome said that he thinks that trans athletes competing in girls and women's sports was deeply unfair. Now, I, I want to hear what you think because I, I, I, I'll tell you what I think.
Brian Quinn
The last time I played a sport, I was six years old and I.
Adam Carolla
Was on a soccer team.
Brian Quinn
But I assigned myself as the nurse.
Adam Carolla
So I sat with the band Aids. All right, hold on for a second. This, by the way, she, Dylan Mulvaney is Insulting to all women because she's doing a bad. I mean, it's almost minstrel blackface. I want to. It's really. It's insulting to women. Sure. Like, women can't play sports, you know, so she's doing a dude's version of a chick, which is insulting. You can remove the name from the monitor I'm looking at here, but go ahead, play it out. Sorry.
Brian Quinn
I played a Sport. I was 6 years old and I was on a soccer team, but I assigned myself as the nurse, so I.
Adam Carolla
Sat with the band aids.
Brian Quinn
And so, in the words of Wicked, I am not that girl, but a dear friend of mine, Skyler, he is a trans athlete. His handle's Pink Mana Monterey.
Adam Carolla
That's someone who I really look to for guidance. And I think that is what's tricky.
Brian Quinn
Is, like, now stepping in this identity.
Adam Carolla
I'm still like a baby trans, you.
Brian Quinn
Know, I've only three years in. Tomorrow's my anniversary.
Adam Carolla
Competing with other males. No, no. Yeah, yeah. Her friend went from female to male and is competing with other men. Gavin doesn't have a problem with that? No. Well, I think part of the problem that the trans community is facing, and it's the same problem that women face, is if you don't know anything about bodies, you don't know how it works. So when you come in and you say, oh, you know, all right, hold on a second. Okay. I'm not a gynecologist, but I can picture LeBron James trying to post up one of the ladies from the wnba. And I'm not a betting man either. I'm not a betting man either, But I'll take LeBron in his prime against anyone in the WNBA on a one on one to 21, I'll spot the chick 18 and a half points, and I'll put my money on LeBron playing to 21. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'll do. Because I don't think she's getting a shot off if he's properly motivated. I'm not a woman, but I know what a dick is. All right, so let's listen to Whoopi roll back, like, 10 seconds. So we're gonna really listen to Whoopi. All her wisdom. All her wisdom. Well, I think part of the problem that the trans community is facing, and it's the same problem that women face, is if you don't know anything about our bodies, you don't know how it works. So when you come in and you say, oh, you know these men, These are men, you know, Competing. Her co workers have to just be like, I used to do improv. And there were out of the troupe of, like, nine people. There were, like, two people who sucked. And we knew who it was. You know what I mean? And every once in a while, you're doing that group improv, and the chick who sucks goes, I'm just gonna. And you're just sitting there going, ah, ye. We go. Here we go. This is gonna. Whatever this is, it's not gonna be good. Whoopi. The methadone is kicking in, and she's having trouble, and she's grabbing for stuff. This is the problem with men because they don't know women's bodies and they don't know how powerful we are. But you see how ridiculous that sounds.
James Murray
We know men's bodies.
Adam Carolla
We know men's bodies. Cause we have them. Them we get. It gets better. Here it is. Know how it works. So when you come in and you say, oh, you know these men. These are men, you know, competing against women, competing against women, you're assuming that the women are weak and just can't do anything except be here. Have you seen female athletes? They know what they're doing. So I. So I'm not sure what's going on or why. This is the same for me as when people think that I got cock and balls.
James Murray
If I was a female athlete, I would be rip shit pissed watching this right now, going, are you seriously saying that?
Adam Carolla
It is. Okay, all right, go back. Give me the last 30. That's the best part. Have you seen female athletes? They know what they're doing. So I'm not sure what's going on or why this is an issue. The same for me as when people say, oh, you know, I don't know how I feel about you. You do. God doesn't make mistakes. No. And the challenge is not to the trans people. It's to the people who are not trans. That's what God is looking to see, how you treat people. There it is, man. That's right. That's right. I. I have no fucking idea what this person just said, but she's right. She's 100% right. There's no way America would tolerate five super dopey dudes just talking out of their ass all afternoon. They'd go, fucking hit that guy at the folding chair, call the sandman, get those idiots the fuck off the stage. They don't know what they're talking about.
James Murray
They tried it on cbs. They tried it. It was Mario Lopez.
Adam Carolla
Bonaduce.
James Murray
Bonaduce. I think Dick, Dick Clark. Yeah. They tried lasting like four months and they went, nah, just forget it. What are we doing?
Adam Carolla
And they control. She can't form a thought. God, is she dumb. It's crazy. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Who's running? Who was talking to Piers Morgan who was running for Betty Yee? Betty Yee, sorry. Yeah, that's another great clip too. These poor people. Piers Morgan interviews these people and they say insane, asinine things and then he asks them follow up questions and they're like, what? I just said something insane in asinine. You know, getting back to that kid Katie Porter thing if. Yeah, I could explain to you when that for when that question first came out when she said what do you say to the millions or you know, that however many people voted for Trump in California, how do you, you know, explain that you need them? She goes, well, I don't. And then she looked, she looked to her left at her campaign people and was like, wasn't that funny? Wasn't that brilliant? She was trying to make a joke and has the completely wrong read on everything. Morgan and Morgan. Well, there's a reason why Tom Brady's got seven rings. Just like there's a reason Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. Over 20 billion recovered from more than 500,000 clients. That's not a slow Morgan. That's results. In one Florida case, insurance offered 350k client walked away with 12 million. That's what Morgan and Morgan can do. So they've been doing this for 35 years. Fighting for the people. Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm for the people, not the power. It's Morgan and Morgan. Am I right, Dawson? Lesson if you're ever injured you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information go to forthepeople.com adam or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone. That's f o r the people.com adam or pound law pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement this October fear is free on Pluto tv with.
Brian Quinn
Horror movie collections from paranormal Activity, the.
Adam Carolla
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Brian Quinn
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Adam Carolla
Ending chaos in 28 days later something in the blood. All the scares all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never. Now put her name on the screen. Andrew, you got Katie Porter's up there fast but now we need this one. So Betty Yee, who's another dumbo who may or may not ruin California, is being interviewed by Piers Morgan, and here's her solution for the transgender thing they are now part of. I mean, they have been through transition, a physical transition, and I do believe that they should be able to participate with other female athletes. Wow. Well, you got the Olympics coming to. To California, to la.
James Murray
So are you suggesting that you would.
Adam Carolla
Allow trans athletes to compete in women's sport in the Olympics if you were governor? Well, I think there's still a lot of discussion that needs to happen.
James Murray
I think there's a lot of information.
Adam Carolla
We need to learn about this happening. Hold on a second. You just got done saying you think they should be allowed to participate, so why do we have to have a long discussion and more. All right, let's see if she answers. The ability of trans athletes to compete. But my. My statement is about being able to be sure that they can compete. And right now. But my question is whether you think they should compete in women's sport in the Olympics, because it's coming to la, so it's relevant. I think transgender female athletes are women athletes and they should be able to compete.
James Murray
Really?
Adam Carolla
These are 10 cent fucking hands. If you were governor of California, you would support biological males who identify as women competing in women's sport in the Olympics. They are now identified as transgender female. And you think it's fair that they should then compete in women's sport? I think they should be able to compete in women's sports. But I also think that there is.
Brian Quinn
Still some discussion about whether they should.
Adam Carolla
Compete in the same. Hold on a second. You gotta pause it because right off camera is the campaign worker that's looking down at the clipboard. God fucking Christ. We talked about this. Don't fucking do this. But here's the thing. These people are like. They're essentially like, yellow. And I don't even know if there's a pink belt in jiu jitsu. Whatever the belt, whatever the belt that shows up with the gi. That's the belt. They are in jiu jitsu. They literally. It has to show up with a belt. That belt is what shows up with the gi. That's what they have in logic and arguments. And then they run into Piers Morgan or they run into Bill Maher or Gavin Newsom runs into me and they get tapped out immediately. They immediately get tapped out because they have no skills and they've never thought about it.
James Murray
It's a rainbow belt, by the way.
Adam Carolla
It's a rainbow belt. That's right. All right, let's listen to Piers go here. Some discussion about whether they should compete in the same field, but I just want them to be able to participate.
James Murray
Sure, I'm sure you. Why? Why? Out of interest, why do you think.
Adam Carolla
We separate the sexes in the Olympics? Well, because they do come with different attributes in terms of physicality. And so you accept that we separate the sexes because men have a physical advantage over women? I know about an advantage in, pardon me, sports. There's like my discussion with the P trap with Mike two hours ago. Like, Mike, we don't want water. Why are you taking. We want water. And why we. Because men and women have differences in P traps. I was like, had to keep going and going and going. Then eventually we got to the email. By the way, these 10 cent heads, they want to run California and it's not all about Olympics and transgender. It's got a lot of other subjects they got to get into, into fire preparation and infrastructure. They're gonna bring this dumb chick 10cent head to every subject. That's the scary part. All right, let's listen. Let's listen. I know about an advantage in some sports. Yes. In other sports, maybe not.
James Murray
Can you think of a single sport.
Adam Carolla
In the Olympics where men would not have an advantage with the exception potentially of archery? You know, I think you can see female athletes where. Particularly in track and field, where agility is probably.
James Murray
Hang on. Are you suggesting that women.
Adam Carolla
So Hang on. You think that women could compete against.
James Murray
Men in track and field? Like in 100 meters, 200 meters, 10,000 meters?
Adam Carolla
Do you perhaps.
Brian Quinn
I'm not a sports hat.
Adam Carolla
That's brutal.
James Murray
Of course they couldn't. Have you seen. Have you seen the times that women and men record in the Olympics for all track and field events?
Adam Carolla
Have you watched Usain Bolt when he.
James Murray
Smashed the world record for the 100 meters?
Adam Carolla
Yes, yes. So you think women could run against.
James Murray
Usain Bolt, for example, at his peak.
Adam Carolla
And that would be fair, I think. Look, I'm just going to say this.
Brian Quinn
There's a lot of misinformation.
Adam Carolla
Here's the point, okay? When you have a 10 cent head, you have a 10 cent head. You don't have a 10 cent head with this subject, but you're brilliant in engineering and everything else. You have a 10 cent head. She has a 10 cent head and she wants to be governor of California and she would bring her 10 cent head with her weird tales of equality, her imaginary Narnia of equality, that she wants something everyone's gotta be treated fairly. Nothing ever fucking works. And now a shit show. That's what we have and that's what the 10 cent head does. And no one ever really. They compartmentalize too much. It's like you have a 10 cent head. You should not be in charge of anything because you can't think clearly. That's what we're dealing with. And again, it'll translate into any subject.
James Murray
Well, usually when people start off in an endeavor, whether it be comedy, whether it be music, whether it be carpentry, whatever it is, you start out initially and you suck at it. And as time goes on, you get better. And I've never noticed anybody who is on the left who has ever gotten into politics from day one until the day that they leave whatever office it is or position that they have, they never seem to get better. They never seem to like skill at all.
Adam Carolla
No, it's sort of. It's the inverse of that. Because you pull tape of Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton from 2001 and they're talking about a border and not letting people in. And those people are going to commit crimes. And now all of a sudden, sudden, therefore, paying for the transgender surgery for illegals that are in prison, like, you're going the wrong direction fast. As a matter of fact, you used to be sane. And then something happened.
James Murray
Yeah. Nobody ever pulls these people aside and tells them, maybe it's time. I was on the way here today and I had to have a conversation with a car salesman over the phone. And after 90 seconds I thought, who told you you should be selling cars?
Adam Carolla
Yes.
James Murray
You have no idea what you're talking about. And after 90 seconds, I just went, you know what, man? I got another phone call coming in. I'm gonna have to take this. I'll call you back. And I just got. And I was like, I'll never buy a car from this person. You have no idea what they're talking about.
Adam Carolla
I have no. I marvel in general at people who are in positions where they can't talk. And you're asking them stuff like, we went to the lake and my daughter and her friends and everyone was there. And Jay Moore got us these tickets to go to the patio, which is the pre fun where they have sushi and food and the VIP section. You know, we walked in on the ground floor, I said to the woman, I go, what level's the patio on? I sort of have a recollection of it. And she goes, it's two floors. And I go, I put you up on the mezzanine. The patio's down. Patio's on the floor with the court. It's the court floor, but you got to get up and then get down or something. She goes, two floors up. I go, okay, so me and the kids, and we get in the escalator, go up, go up again, get out. We're clearly, like, up in the mezzanine. Higher row seats, they're down on the court, you know. And I go, wynette, this isn't. And then I go, oh, no, she doesn't. She didn't mean two floors up. She means the second floor, which is the next floor. Then we had to go back down to the thing again and then go walk back up to the second floor. But she doesn't know what she's talking about. That's the whole. When she works there by the escalator, by the way. And then the next. Then when we got up to the next one, I go, what gate goes down to the patio? And the security chick was like, patio? And I like, was. I was like, the VIP patio. She said, I don't know what you're. And I'm like, I don't know how this works, but it's everywhere.
James Murray
Has nobody asked you this question before? Ever? In this business.
Adam Carolla
Dumb people can do with knowledge what your dog will do if you feed it, like a hot pickled pepper. You know, like, the dog will bite it and then just go, oh. And it just falls out of their mouth. Like, I had a. I went to Zancoo Chicken and I was house sitting, and I had my friend's dog bugging the shit out of me the whole time I was eating the rotisserie chicken. Like, he was just at his drooling. Had his snout on my hip the whole time. And I'm sitting there trying to eat, and he wouldn't go anywhere, you know, so he kept bugging me. So eventually, I grabbed one of the of those pickled radishes things, you know, the rutabag, whatever that pickled. It's size of a French fry, but it's purple and it's pickled. And I went, oh, hey, you want some of this, Barney? He's like. And I was like, here you go, buddy. And he, like, he just put his mouth and was like. And he just, like, dropped it and went right back to it. Like, he ejected. I know people do that with information. They just. Soon as something pops and shoot, they shoot it right out. But you can ask August about P traps four months from now. He'll tell you what he told me in the next room, like he did they just reject eject info.
James Murray
Yeah, There's a reason why the guy who plays center field for the Dodgers has that little cheat sheet in his back pocket that tells him where to stand. Like, why not get one of those if you're gonna be telling people where to go? Inside of crypto, whatever it's called.
Adam Carolla
I'm also curious about people's just sort of interaction skill. Like lots of times when you walk down the sidewalk and you're just some guys coming at you the other direction, you do the hey man, you did sort of the neighbor hand half wave thing and they just walk right past you. And you say the person you're walking with, you go, what the fuck do behind? They go, ah, they're probably caught off guard. They always go, what are you caught off guard? Someone goes, hey, I'll just go, hey, there's no pressure. Prep for that. But there was. I cut down a bunch of branches in front of my house and it was like laying in the driveway. And for some reason before I went to work the other day, I looked out and the city was like coming by and cleaning stuff up because of the fires and stuff. They're like sweeping up the streets. And they started taking the branches and stuff and I was like, oh. But they took a big branch and they threw it like further up the driveway and they get. Not that one. And then they took all the rest. And so I was like. And then they were kind of moving on. So like I was getting ready for work. So I went down there and I said to the two dudes who were like cleaning up the ranch, I go, hey man, could we get that branch, the one that's up the driveway there? And they go, that guy, super. Talk to the supervisor guy, like the gray haired guy who's up the street, you know, because we can't do it. He pulled the branch and I was like, I don't know, you took eight branches, but the ninth one you threw up the driveway, you know. And I go talk to that guy. If he okays it, we'll take the branch. I go, okay. Pretty heavy pecking order going on with the branch, the arborist community. So I go up street and I see the silverhead guy and I've. Silver haired guy. I've worked with these guys. They're all. Are weirdo blue collar guys that just have. They're sarcastic or shitty or passive aggressive or whatever. And I go up to him and I go, oh, hey, could you. Okay, if these Guys took that branch, just another branch up my driveway. Just threw it in the truck with the other branches. And he goes, I guess if it's your branch. And he like walks away. And I'm like, what does that mean? I don't know what this was. I don't know what it was. You're cleaning up branches on the street. Street. I'm a taxpayer. I live in this house. You cleaned up the other branches. You got a little sarcastic and a little weird and I don't know why you. And there wasn't like, we're not allowed to take branches with a stem over 3 inches, but I guess we can make an exception. There's nothing. It was just some weird sarcastic response at a walk away. And I don't know what we're trying to. I don't know what we accomplished. I think he's a dick. But other than me thinking he's a dick dick. He did like give the guys the branch move nod, you know, like the pit boss and casino, you know, universal sign, he wants $10,000 credit nod. And we cut him off after that. Right. Right. He gave the nod to his henchmen. His henchmen took the branch and threw it in there. But I don't know why he did a. He did a. I guess if it's your branch, you know, like he's accusing me of taking someone else's branch. I don't know. I don't know why he singled it out. Yeah. He didn't feel obliged to explain anything. And I have no idea why we had to have a weird interaction, but there's lots of that.
James Murray
Yeah. Probably just proving that he's supposed to be there, cuz that's his job. He has to be the one to dictate. He is the end all be all of branch taking. So he has to prove that he is worth the amount of money that the city of Los Angeles is paying him.
Adam Carolla
I have no idea what he's doing there. But I had a flashback to weird blue collar guys, which are. You don't run into the weird blue collar guys as much as the weird white collar guys. But I, you know, Russ, the tin knocker and the sheetrocker. Like I did come across some of those sort of. They were a little antisocial, a little passive aggressive, had a kind of a weird sense of humor, but sort of weird creepy freak would freak women out and you would never let him babysit or house sit. But there were those guys, always white guys. There weren't any blacks, but Hispanics never Had that weird thing, you know what I mean?
James Murray
Growing up in northern Minnesota, we used to play this game called roofer or homeless, where we'd look at a guy. Cause he was like, it was January and these guys were tan still. And you'd go, oh, that guy's definitely. He's either up there pounding shingles or he's living on the streets. One of the two.
Adam Carolla
Well, let's do one more news story.
Brian Quinn
Do one more.
James Murray
Sure. Yeah, let's do the Chicago. Let's do this one. That's a good one. So Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson rolled out his progressive budget for 2026 on Thursday as the city faces more than a billion dollar deficit. And in it, two new special revenue funds for mental health and community safety. The programs will be funded by. By a tax fee on social media companies called Social Media Amusement and Responsibility Tax, or smart.
Adam Carolla
Oh, they gotta give it a happy acronym. Just like all these non government organizations are like, I work for children First. What do you do? I siphon money from the city and don't do anything for kids. But if we called ourselves grifters who siphon money and then nothing comes out the other end, we wouldn't get the cash. So we called ourselves First Steps. This is First First Steps program. We take children of need and children of color and children who are needy of color, and we go to the inner cities and we give back. So then we get a bunch of fucking money and we don't do anything for anybody. But if we call ourselves fucking grifters, then we won't get any of the money. So we got a good name for this stuff that doesn't work.
James Murray
It's Spanish, Turkish, Egyptian and Palestinian called step. That is where the word acronym step comes from.
Adam Carolla
Yes. All right, let's listen up. We got. He's, by the way, pause him. There's something wrong with him because he has a lower approval rating than Lori Lightfoot, who nobody liked. And by the way, there is a phenomenon. If you're black, it's a good thing. Which is if you had a mare and the mayor was black and you go, we need a new mare, it's like, well, we gotta get a black guy. Cause you can't replace it with a white guy. But if it was Secretary of the Interior was black and they need to be replaced, you gotta replace him with a black guy. Probably even a little bit. Football coaches too. Like there's a weird thing where if that's who it was. So they had Lori Lightfoot, who was black, who was horrible, and they're like, nobody liked her. And then they're like, we're gonna replace her with a dude that people like less because he's more progressive than Lori Lightfoot was, and he has a 6% percent approval rating, and he doesn't care. He's going right down that path.
Brian Quinn
Just like we tax other addictive vices.
Adam Carolla
That are bad for our health, like nicotine and tobacco, it is far past time we treat social media companies the same way. Under his proposal, social media companies would pay 50 cents for every active user each month. By the way, everything has to do with the welfare of the kids and the addiction and the. But they never go. And no money. It's always the kids, the kids. The kids now give us money. It's never just the kids. There's always money attached to it. So the kids are the Trojan horse that they use to storm the castle to get the cash from the king, but it's not the kids they care about.
James Murray
Yeah, I like that they was equating it to things that are harmful. Cigarettes, alcohol. The biggest difference is my dad never left. Left for a pack of Instagram and then never came back.
Adam Carolla
Never came back.
James Murray
That's the biggest. Pretty big difference.
Adam Carolla
There he is, fucking horrible and angry and weird and sort of progressive and racist. And I don't know what's attractive about it. I also don't know why, if Lori Lightfoot, like, started running the city into the ground, you would vote to finish running the city into the ground with this socialist imbecile who's angry and racist, by the way. But. But that's the guy. That's the guy you got passing the baton. It's so weird. And then what? I don't know what their. Their plan is. Always. If we could just get more money from people who make money and earn money, then we could fix all this shit. But you can't fix it because it's like a social thing and no amount of money can fix it. All it does is exacerbate it and sort of prolongs it, but it never really fixes it because you never, never get to the root of any of the problems that you claim you're gonna fix. But it'd be like me just going, my son's a shit student, so I just need cash, lots of cash, tons of cash. Dawson cash. Andrew cash. I need cash from everyone in this building because Sonny's a shitty student. It's like, that's not gonna fix him being a shitty student. You better sit down and study with him or Figure it out. And by the way, I got something that's from. He can go down the fucking library and spend four hours every day reading and studying.
James Murray
Yes.
Adam Carolla
You don't need money for that. Yeah.
James Murray
Also, this is not gonna go anywhere. So instead of maybe working against these companies, why don't they do like China did and say X amount of percentage of the content that is on your platform has to be informative. It has to be able to take our citizens that are watching it at a young age and turn them into good citizens when they become adults. But instead they're just totally okay with just pumping out more and more garbage onto to it that seeps into our kids brains and then they turn into shitty adults.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but somehow resources gotta get those resources, gotta get some of your money. Once we get your money, we can just get an extra 2% from the rich in Manhattan and we'll have enough money to subsidize the buses. I would be all for it if it ever worked. It never worked.
James Murray
Yeah, and that's why when people go, well, Elon Musk could solve all the world's problems with his money. It's like, well, you're looking somebody who is your government has an endless supply of money and they still can't fix the goddamn problems.
Adam Carolla
But I don't get there is a problem, which is money you giving people. So, okay, you go, this guy makes $50,000 a year, and then this guy makes no money a year. So then you go, what's that guy doing? You go, well, that guy's an electronic or let's say, let's make it $100,000 a year. You go, all right, that guy is an electrician. He's got a skill. He's got trucks, got tools. He makes $100,000 a year. What's this guy doing? He does nothing. Okay, so what about the guy who does nothing? Well, he doesn't have insurance, he doesn't have medical, he doesn't have dental, he doesn't have anything. Okay, well what if we just give him $100,000 a year? Then he's got 100 and the other guy's got 100. And then we're good, right? No, we're not good. The other guy has a skill, he has an ethic, he has a discipline, he has pride, he has self esteem, he plies his trade, he gets up in the morning and the other Guy's just got 100 grand that he's gonna owe D on fentanyl. So you didn't fix anything, just like it's like, I don't know, this is a crew that likes honorary degrees. You know what I mean? That doesn't mean, mean anything. You're just taking money from this guy and transferring it to that guy. But that guy has no skill set. Now if you would like to pay for some sort of vocational training for that guy, then I'm all about it. But that's not what you guys want to do. You just want to grab money from these guys and give it to those guys. And then you get in this argument, you got to pull up. It made me laugh. I was watching it yesterday. Some genius puts together these things. I like, liked it, I think Andrew, but I didn't see it when you were looking at my like tweets. But it's Bernie Sanders throughout the years complaining about the oligarchy and being on the precipice of the oligarchy starting in 1985, they just in perpetuity, just keep talking about. Basically Bernie Sanders will talk about the oligarchy for 50 years and Al Gore will talk about rising sea levels for 50 years. Years and nothing ever happens. That's the comedy. That's the comedy of it. But they somehow need to get more money from you and then that'll fix it. It starts in 93. I stand corrected with the oligarchy. This is Bernie Sanders starting 32 years ago. Here we go. This great country of ours is moving very rapidly in the direction of oligarchy. The United States today is increasingly becoming an oligarchy. More and more moving taught in oligarchy. We are moving in the direction of oligarchy. We will move more rapidly in the direction of an oligarchy. This great country, 2014 is evolving into an oligarchic society.2015 15. It is called oligarchy. And that is the system we are rapidly moving toward. This is a budget that moves the country rapidly into the direction of oligarchy. A handful of billionaires. 18, 2018, this entire planet toward an oligarchic society. We start off with the band 2025 and that is that under Donald Trump. Trump, this country is hurtling rapidly toward oligarchy. This. Okay, should we listen to the old fuck or not? By the way, somebody pointed this out, but I pointed out a long time ago, which is no more millionaire stocks, only billionaire stocks. Cuz he's a millionaire and millionaires are evil. He switched. He did 50 years of millionaires and six months ago he switched to billionaires. That oligarchy talk is like you when you get drunk with the brewers winning the World Series. It just in perpetuity. Oh, man. I know. Never ends, never ends. Not gonna happen.
James Murray
I know, man.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
James Murray
Been saying it for years now. This is our year. It's like me and Sanders. Although I aged a little bit more than Bernie did in that video. Holy shit. From 93 to 2025, he looks almost identical.
Adam Carolla
You can tell just by the hair, but that's about it. So, anyway, everyone buckled up for the oligarchy? Or is it going to be the rising tides that hit us first? Maybe those tides will take out the oligarchs. Maybe they'll be riding those yachts in. Remember 10 minutes ago, when Putin invades Ukraine and Biden takes to the mic and goes, goes, don't worry, we're going to take all those oligarchs and we're going to take their yachts away and their real estate away from them in New York City, and this shit's going to be over in the next week. Remember that? Yeah. Remember that plan? Did that plan come together? I don't remember that plan coming together. Was it ever a plan, I guess is the question. I love that. And remember three weeks after that, when a gallon of gas was like, six bucks or a loaf of bread was too expensive? And that was Putin's price hikes. Remember? Putin hiked our prices up over there from the Kremlin. Yeah, they just talk about whatever all the time. Does anyone ever just go, hey, what do we say? Putin's price hikes. What's that mean? I don't know, but they start with a P and it sounds good. And remember, we're all getting Putin. Right?
James Murray
Eggs are at 239 right now. Nobody's going, hey, thumbs up on getting the price of eggs down. That was nice. I thought we were all supposed to be living in poverty because eggs were $5.
Adam Carolla
The oligarchy versus the tide versus the Brewers. Who's gonna get there first? No, I don't know.
James Murray
You know, I do this joke. I haven't done it in a while now because it's been passed, but when the information first came out, I was doing this bit about billionaires and how people are getting tired of them. And there's one particular billionaire that only pays their employees.007% of their net worth worth. And they also own eight different houses in states that are tax friendly as to be able to get away from paying federal income tax. And then the twist at the end is, oh, by the way, it's Taylor Swift.
Adam Carolla
Right?
James Murray
And everybody is like, and I'VE had so many women clap. I'm like, we gotta get rid of these billionaires. And women are in the Miami people were like, fuck them, billionaires. And then when I dropped the T. Swift on them, they're like, oh, shit.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
James Murray
And if you do the math, she really does, because she only half, probably 12 people that she employs. I know she has a lot of people that are independent contractors, but if you do the math, she really does only pay her employees 0.007% of her actual wealth, which is 1.9 billion or something.
Adam Carolla
Oh, God. I know. But listen. She creates tons of jobs and employment and is on the happy side of all this. I know Bernie and his crowd think of George Floyd as a hero, but he doesn't create a lot of jobs. Well, I guess for probation officers and people like that. All right, we got Biden talking about Russian oligarchs. What year is this from? What is this, like, 10 minutes after the war started? Or it's a State of the Union State of the Union march. So how long after Russia invades is this State of the Union winners? Talk about bringing the Russians to their knees with the oligarchs over there. The oligarchs are evidently much more durable than we thought, because we thought we could just take away their yacht and their penthouse in Hell's Kitchen and they'd fucking fold like a deck of cards. But they don't. Evidently, they remain. All right, I'm sorry. What is this, a month later? This is one month after the invasion. Here we go. All right, while we were talking, I'm sure Russia just launched another drone strike on a special needs kindergarten in Kiev. But here was Joe. So one month after the. Three years ago. Here we go. Putin's latest attack on Ukraine was premeditated and totally unprovoked. He rejected repeated, repeated efforts. Don't. Diplomacy. Just don't. He thought the west and Naito wouldn't respond. Look out. Thought he could divide us at home in this chamber, in this nation. He could not. He thought he could divide us in Europe as well. Not going to happen. Putin was wrong. Uh, oh, we are ready. We are united. And that's what we did. We stayed united together along with our allies. Three years ago. Powerful economic sanctions. All right, hold on. What is. Is this three years ago?
James Murray
Yes. 2022, right? Yeah. This is March 2022.
Adam Carolla
This was three and a half years ago. Okay, that's what I was asking. There's, you know, there's a bunch of months in here cutting off Russia's largest.
James Murray
Banks in the international financial system.
Adam Carolla
System preventing Russia's central bank. Oh, they're cooking the Russell ruble. He cooked the gravel. Making Putin $630 billion war fund worthless for choking Russia's accent. They're choked off a scant three and a half years ago technology that will SAP its economic strength and weaken its military for years to come. They got nothing. I say to the Russian oligarchs and the corrupt leaders who built billions of dollars off this violent regime. No more. Okay, great.
James Murray
Oh, that was. That was solved.
Adam Carolla
At least the adults are back in the room, everybody. He's the fucking idiot. Everyone who hates Trump realized this is what you wanted instead of Trump, which is a totally feckless brain dead man who just said shit that never. I don't know. Did any part of that happen. That was three and a half years ago. Yeah. So it didn't come together.
James Murray
In high school when I would get my ass kicked in the hallways, I would go, don't. And then it would stop.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
James Murray
Every time. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right. I want to thank Sal Vocano for coming in here. Everything's fine to her as we out as we speak. You can go check that out. And impractical jokers, of course, Rudy Pavich got dates, right?
James Murray
Yeah. This weekend. Tonight I will be in Branson, Missouri. They opening up a brand new club in Branson, the comedy factory. I'm there tonight. And then coming up the first weekend of November, the 7th through the 9th, I'll be at the la Jolla comedy store.
Adam Carolla
Nice. Until next time, it's Adam for Sal and Rudy saying mahalo. Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the ace man at adamcola. This October, fear is free on pluto.
Brian Quinn
TV with horror movie collections from paranormal.
Adam Carolla
Activity, the ring you will die in seven days. Scream. And from dusk till dawn this is my kind of place. And don't miss the man made nightmares.
Brian Quinn
In Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world.
Adam Carolla
Ending chaos in 28 days later. Something in the blood, all the scares, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never. This October fear is free on pluto.
Brian Quinn
TV with horror movie collections from paranormal.
Adam Carolla
Activity, the ring you will die in seven days. Scream. And from dusk till dawn this is my kind of place. And don't miss the man made nightmares.
Brian Quinn
In Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world.
Adam Carolla
Ending chaos in 28 days later. Something in the blood, all the scares, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never.
Episode: Sal Vulcano on Impractical Jokers’ CRAZIEST Punishments
Date: October 23, 2025
Guests: Sal Vulcano (Impractical Jokers), Rudy Pavich
In this lively episode, Adam Carolla is joined by Sal Vulcano of Impractical Jokers and comic Rudy Pavich. The conversation takes listeners through an engaging, often hilarious journey examining the changing nature of practical jokes, the blue-collar roots of comedy, the rise of hidden-camera prank culture, and behind-the-scenes insights into Impractical Jokers. As always, Adam also launches into observations on LA driving and social dynamics, delivers cutting asides on current events, and closes the show with signature rants.
| Timestamp | Segment/Discussion | |--------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:10–08:27 | Adam’s LA driving rant, social aggression | | 19:01–25:39 | Evolution and decline of practical jokes, blue-collar masculinity | | 29:00–34:29 | Sal tells the origin story of Impractical Jokers | | 38:10–41:41 | How the show navigates discomfort, success, and ethics | | 42:29–46:26 | Celebrating simplicity in comedy/pranks, Man Show “Bathroom” bit | | 49:02–56:38 | The art and anxiety of getting mark releases | | 65:20–68:44 | Generational shifts: roughhousing, masculinity, and “ranch” | | 125:12–127:34| Social media tax satire and critiques of political solutions |
Adam Carolla’s signature blend of sharp observational humor, nostalgia, blunt opinion, and social commentary drives the episode. Sal Vulcano matches Adam’s energy, providing warmth, relatability, and dry wit as he reveals the nuts and bolts (and nerves) behind Impractical Jokers. Moments alternate between deep nostalgia, irreverent banter, and insightful behind-the-scenes details.
This episode of the Adam Carolla Show is a rich, fast-paced, and genuinely funny look at the roots and reinvention of practical jokes through the lens of Sal Vulcano and the Impractical Jokers team. The discussion blends old-school memories with modern realities, revealing the blue-collar ethos undergirding much of American comedy. By contrasting the past and present, the episode delivers both big laughs and thought-provoking takes on how society has changed. Whether you miss the headlocks of your youth, adore hidden-camera comedy, or just want to hear how the “craziest punishments” are built, this episode is a must-listen.