Santa Talks Christmas, Marriage Drama with Mrs. Claus, and Elf on the Shelf!

Summary

Adam Carolla Show – Santa Talks Christmas, Marriage Drama with Mrs. Claus, and Elf on the Shelf!

December 24, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this special Christmas Eve episode, Adam Carolla welcomes “Santa Claus” to the studio for a rollicking, irreverent conversation that blends holiday nostalgia, candid confessions, and Carolla’s trademark comic cynicism. The two cover everything from the evolving standards of the Naughty List to Santa's open marriage with Mrs. Claus, the demise of good elves, and the true meanings (and marketing) behind Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa. The episode is peppered with social commentary, personal anecdotes, and an ongoing riff on holiday pop culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Santa and the Naughty List: Modern Challenges

• Surveillance and Judgment in the Internet Age:

  • Santa jokes about how the proliferation of the internet has complicated the annual Naughty List.
    • “You know, that makes the Naughty List especially difficult.” (Santa, 03:45)
  • Adam riffs on abolishing the Naughty List in California and New York for political correctness.
    • “They want to get rid of the Naughty List. Whatever it is, they want to get rid of the Naughty List.” (Adam, 03:58)

• Santa’s Stance on Internet Privacy

  • “Internet searches, they're off the table. That's your business.” (Santa, 04:17)

• COVID-year Policies:

  • “You know what? I gave everybody a pass on Covid.” (Santa, 05:42)
  • Adam admits to relaxed mask use and Santa’s hands-off approach to science.

The Logistics and Lore of Santa

• Chimney Science and the Suspension of Disbelief

  • Adam ponders the physics of chimneys, noting:
    • “If we were scientifically inclined as it pertained to you, then you fitting down that chimney would be highly impractical. Improbable.” (Adam, 06:19)
  • Santa justifies it with, “That's part of the Christmas magic.” (Santa, 06:49)

• Holiday vs. Christmas Debate:

  • Santa: “There's a reason for the season, my friend.” (07:03)
  • Adam teases that Santa would say more with a couple of hot buttered rums.

Social Commentary & Childhood Anecdotes

• On Discipline and Changing Times:

  • Adam recounts his daughter spitting at a nanny and his own support for a corrective smack.
    • “Good, smack her again if she does it again. But guess what? What never happened again? Well, because she got smacked.” (Adam, 08:50)
  • Santa supports light corporal punishment:
    • “I don't begrudge anyone of smacking. That helps them keep them on the good list.” (Santa, 09:06)

• Santa's Bias Toward Rich Kids:

  • Santa: “I tend to favor the rich kids, if you haven't noticed. They get better presents and a lot more of them.” (Santa, 09:57)
  • Adam: “I see them buzzing around in their Schwins while I got my busted up Huffy…” (Adam, 10:08)

Gifts, Childhood Memories, and Changing Toys

• Adam’s Favorite Childhood Gift:

  • A big steel Tonka truck:
    • “I got like a big Tonka truck and, you know, and like a semi. It was a big deal. I loved trucks back then.” (Adam, 13:25)

• Modern Kid vs. Past Kid Capabilities:

  • Adam laments the lack of practical ability in young men today and blames college and changing interests:
    • “There's no capability in young men anymore. They don't like it. I blame college. I blame women.” (Adam, 14:41)

• Elves: Then and Now:

  • Santa admits: “Anymore, you know, since everything is video games and downloading. They just get lazy and they just kind of hang around and drink a lot.” (Santa, 15:23)

Elf Rivalries and Elf Biology

• Feuds Among Elves:

  • Santa compares his elves' rivalry with Keebler and Tolkien elves to the “Hatfield McCoys.” (Santa, 15:46)
  • Adam notices the lack of women among Keebler elves: “Maybe that's why they're so angry. Yeah, I wonder. It's sort of like being in prison, that tree. Right?” (Adam, 16:12)

• Elf Biology:

  • “Look again, I don't want to get into science, but they just split in half like amoebas.” (Santa, 16:54)
  • “They're asexual.” (Santa, 17:00)
  • Adam: “They're like the Keebler elves. They're like a platypus.” (Adam, 17:01)

Santa’s Marital Arrangements and Personal Life

• Open Marriage with Mrs. Claus:

  • Adam: “How do you keep it fresh after 2000 years?”
  • Santa: “We do not. We haven't had sex in a long, long time. Like 400 years, 19, 10 years.” (Santa, 22:08)
  • “That's why I'm okay with the elves.” (Santa, 22:22)
  • “And I have a hall pass from Mrs. Claus. Any elf.” (Santa, 19:30)

• Santa’s Gifting for Adam’s Kids:

  • Adam shares a story of “over-gifting” leading to excess and diminished gratitude:
    • “She put the list together, and you must have been feeling pretty generous that year, but...she went nuts...I learned a valuable lesson, St. Nick, that when you have too much or all, you kind of go nuts.” (Adam, 24:20)

Religion, Cultural Holidays, and Political Jabs

• On Hanukkah and Kwanzaa:

  • Adam: “What do you think about the Seven Days of Hanukkah? Are they just kind of ripping you off and Then what about Kwanzaa? Give me a break.” (Adam, 40:11)

  • Santa: “I never understood the rules to Kwanzaa. Right? And when I try to wear the Kwanzaa hat, I get yelled at.” (Santa, 40:24)

  • Adam: “Listen, I just want to say this to the black community. You don't need Kwanzaa. And by the way, you don't need your national anthem sung before the Super Bowl. Just have the one. Just have Christmas and just have the national anthem. Not yours and yours and yours. That's the problem.” (Adam, 40:47)

• Cultural One-liners:

  • On Kwanzaa’s spelling:
    • “Can you misspell a word that was made up 10 minutes ago? Do you know what I mean?” (Adam, 41:35)

Pop Culture & Holiday Media

• Holiday Songs:

  • Santa’s top picks:
    • “Jingle Bells. Of course. That's a good one. I'm not a big fan of Mama Got Run over by a Reindeer.” (Santa, 36:35)

• Favorite Christmas Movies:

  • “It's a Wonderful Life. Even though I'm not in it.” (Santa, 42:49)
  • Santa also namechecks “Miracle on 34th Street.”
    • “That's a good one...I think they get me right there.” (Santa, 43:43)
  • Not a fan of being “modernized” or turned into an action hero, referencing “Red One” with Dwayne Johnson and Chris Morgan. (Santa, 43:09)

Modern Holiday Traditions

• Elf on a Shelf:

  • Adam’s take: “It's more work for the parent...I got yelled at for leaving it in the same place...” (Adam, 38:34)
  • Santa: “Elves, first of all, think it's racist. They're not fans. They know they're small.” (Santa, 39:07)
  • “I like to think as Elf on the Shelf is, people that would use Advent calendars but can't read.” (Santa, 39:16)
  • Both agree: Advent calendars are better.

• Surprisingly Jewish Festivities:

  • “I do love that dreidel song.” (Santa, 39:35)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“Internet searches, they're off the table. That's your business.”
— Santa Claus (04:17)

“I tend to favor the rich kids, if you haven't noticed. They get better presents and a lot more of them.”
— Santa Claus (09:57)

“I've got a hall pass from Mrs. Claus. Any elf.”
— Santa Claus (19:30)

“We haven't had sex in a long, long time. Like 400 years, 19, 10 years.”
— Santa Claus (22:11)

“She put the list together...she went nuts...I learned a valuable lesson, St. Nick, that when you have too much or all, you kind of go nuts.”
— Adam Carolla (24:20)

“I like to think as Elf on the Shelf is, people that would use Advent calendars but can't read.”
— Santa Claus (39:16)

“Elves...just split in half like amoebas. They're asexual.”
— Santa Claus (16:54–17:01)

“I never understood the rules to Kwanzaa...and when I try to wear the Kwanzaa hat, I get yelled at.”
— Santa Claus (40:24)

“Let's not turn you into a jacked action hero.”
— Adam Carolla (43:16)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Santa’s Intro & Naughty List Discussion: 03:10–05:25
• COVID Exceptions: 05:37–05:51
• Chimney and Christmas Magic: 05:59–06:52
• On Rich vs. Poor Kids' Gifts: 09:57–10:28
• Adam’s Childhood Gift Anecdote: 13:25–14:08
• Elves, Rivalries & Biology: 15:23–17:11
• Santa's Open Marriage Confession: 19:30, 22:08–22:27
• Excess in Christmas Presents: 24:10–25:18
• Holiday Traditions (Elf on a Shelf, Advent Calendars): 38:34–39:32
• Hanukkah & Kwanzaa Riffs: 40:11–42:33
• Favorite Holiday Movies & "Santa Modernization": 42:49–43:43

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Tone & Style

The episode is characteristically irreverent and no-holds-barred, with Adam’s deadpan, acerbic style playing off Santa’s performed mirth and weariness (“That's why I'm okay with the elves”). The conversation frequently veers into social and cultural critique, holiday myth-busting, and quick-witted improvisation.

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For Listeners New and Old

Even if you missed the episode, this conversation delivers classic Carolla: wry takes on tradition, open mockery of societal shifts, and a comic deep dive into the fun (and dysfunction) of holiday culture. Santa, meanwhile, upends his jolly persona with candid admissions and unexpectedly adult humor, providing a delightfully offbeat take on Christmas lore.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

And welcome to a special Christmas Eve Corolla show edition. We bring in Santa Claus, Funny Santa Claus, and we'll do that right after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla show. Bowl season is here and Betonline gives you more ways to play the latest odds, breaking news, live scores and in game betting so you never miss a moment of college football, Bulls, NFL playoff races. It's all there, all the time. Every bowl matchup, NFL late season games, all the way to NBA hardwood battles, college hoops tip offs. Bet online has you locked in all year long. And if you love UFC fights and NHL futures, bet online is the place to get in on all of the action. And when it's time to switch gears, dive into Betonline's casino, packed with hundreds of the hottest slots, classic table games, live dealers and massive jackpots waiting to be hit. And don't forget the VIP program with exclusive level up bonuses, weekly cash boosts and rewards design for serious players. Head to Betonline today because at Betonline, the game starts here.

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[Adam Carolla]

Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Santa Claus. And now, Merry Christmas, Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on St. Nick's here. Santa Claus. Hello. Hello. St. Nick. Good to see you.

[Santa Claus]

It is good to see you, my friend. I've known you for a long time.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well, yeah, right. Yes, that's how it works. Yeah.

[Santa Claus]

I've just been watching you. You haven't really met me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, no, I haven't. But it's. It's kind of. Well, you know, it's not that much different than being on basic cable in the late 90s. People see you, you don't really see them, but you, they, you know, they know you, you don't know them.

[Santa Claus]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

That was kind of what it was like being On MTV all those years ago. And now I don't know. Either everyone knows everyone or nobody knows anybody.

[Santa Claus]

Well, very true. Very true. You know, that makes the Naughty List especially difficult.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Right. Because if you don't really know, it's hard to put them on the naughty.

[Santa Claus]

Yes, yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And then also, I know in California and in New York, they want to abolish a Naughty List. I think they say it's unfair to certain minorities or something. Whatever it is, they want to get rid of the Naughty List.

[Santa Claus]

They're trying really hard, but you got to have, you know, a standard.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, you're preaching to the choir.

[Santa Claus]

I do have to say, Internet searches, they're off the table. That's your business.

[Adam Carolla]

For you.

[Santa Claus]

For me?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I see. Whatever I'm looking at, that's your own business. My leisure time. You know what? I appreciate that.

[Santa Claus]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm sure most adult males do, and many high schoolers as well.

[Santa Claus]

I would have nothing to do with. Everybody would go on the Naughty List.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

If you just checked everyone's Internet, you'd get to, like, three guys a year.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. And I wouldn't be one of them.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no. Yeah, I understood. Understood. Yeah. I never really thought about technology, you know, because Old Saint Nick, I mean, back in your day, you would just watch people and, you know, pretty basic stuff. If they bullied a neighbor kid or threw a cat in the lake or something like that, that would definitely get you on. Yeah. Like real kind of Bowery Boys, kind of juvenile delinquent stuff, you know, let's go give that hobo a hot foot.

[Santa Claus]

That's. That would get you on the Naughty list for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But it's alliteration, so it's nice. Hobo, hot foot. Right. So we get you on the list, but now with what's going on on the Internet and people getting drunk and tweeting.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. So many things.

[Adam Carolla]

And then Covid comes along and. Oh, my goodness.

[Santa Claus]

You know what? I gave everybody a pass on Covid.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you did?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't wear my mask all the time, I was a little ashamed to say, but I took care of you. You knew it. Yeah.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't get into science. Once I start getting into science, it's hard for me to exist.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Because just the circumference of an average flue in a fireplace. You know what I mean? Like, I've done. I've rebuilt a couple of chimneys and a couple fireplaces in my life, and there's not a Lot of leg room in those things.

[Santa Claus]

Not at all.

[Adam Carolla]

And at the end, at the bottom, where the fire is about 2ft above it, they have something called a fire shelf. It's kind of a slit.

[Santa Claus]

Believe me, I know I don't have.

[Adam Carolla]

To tell you about creosote and preaching to the fire is what I'm doing. But the point is, if we were scientifically inclined as it pertained to you, then you fitting down that chimney would be highly impractical. Improbable. And then, not to mention the reindeer business and the flying and everything.

[Santa Claus]

That's part of the Christmas magic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, the Christmas magic. And what about people wanting to call it holiday instead of Christmas? Oh, come on, you can speak the truth here.

[Santa Claus]

There's a reason for the season, my friend.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right, right.

[Santa Claus]

I gotta, you know, I gotta. I give some of them a pass.

[Adam Carolla]

But, you know, you're being pretty magnanimous. I bet if I gave you a couple of hot buttered rums, I'd be talking to a different city.

[Santa Claus]

You get me talking.

[Adam Carolla]

You get me talking. That's what I'm saying.

[Santa Claus]

You know, Betty, I've been around for a long, long time.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Oh, yeah?

[Pluto TV Announcer]

Yeah.

[Santa Claus]

Back in the day, you'd be on the naughty list for teasing a slave.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. Now it's way beyond that.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, right, yeah, yeah. Teasing a slave. Which I gotta say, you know, we weren't slave owners, you know, the Corollas, we weren't homeowners.

[Santa Claus]

We know all about you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You know, we barely owned a car, so there's no way the Corollas owned slaves. If they did own slaves, then something went dramatically wrong in a very short period of time. Financially, yes, but I don't think that was the case. I think we were always poor and not poor and proud. We were just poor.

[Santa Claus]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But slave teasing is something I probably would have participated in back in the day.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. It is irresistible.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, when you're like an 11 year old boy and I would even do. I'd tease a slave. I'd probably tease an indentured servant. I'd probably tease a servant in general. Paid nannies, things of that nature.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. It's a risk reward.

[Adam Carolla]

My daughter, when she was very young, spit at my nanny.

[Santa Claus]

I know.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, sorry. And I'm only saying this for the listener. And my nanny smacked her.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then she felt bad and she told me and I go, good, smack her again if she does it again. But guess what? What never happened again. Well, because she got smacked.

[Santa Claus]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And I like that world, St. Nick.

[Santa Claus]

Well, I don't. I don't begrudge anyone of smacking.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't?

[Santa Claus]

No. That helps them keep them on the good list.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Not a lot of graffiti in Singapore.

[Santa Claus]

Not at all.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

Right.

[Santa Claus]

Caning took care of that.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Santa Claus]

Christmas candy Caning. There we go.

[Adam Carolla]

I think we both got there about the same time.

[Santa Claus]

Say, Nick. Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

But I deferred to you because I want something in my stocking this year.

[Santa Claus]

Oh, you're gonna now what? What was your favorite gift that I have bestowed on you when you were a child?

[Adam Carolla]

I'd have to say it'd be the gift of brilliance.

[Santa Claus]

Well, that's me.

[Adam Carolla]

And secondly, why isn't it a Christmas sock? Why is it a Christmas stocking?

[Santa Claus]

Well, it's an old tradition.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, old, Old. They didn't have those short. Yeah. Calvin Klein's back.

[Santa Claus]

I mean, you get a little bit more goodies with a stocking. A sock is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Sock wouldn't hold a lot of goodies. Yeah, you get like a pencil and a Raisinet.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. I have to apologize to you. Every kid who's grown up poor, I tend to favor the rich kids, if you haven't noticed.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I kind of noticed.

[Santa Claus]

They get better presents and a lot more of them.

[Adam Carolla]

I see them buzzing around in their Schwins while I got my busted up Huffy over here and they get their Levi's and I got my tough skins. Yeah.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

What. What about it?

[Santa Claus]

Well, I. I know which side. My bread's butter. Yeah. Yeah. And you've got to take care of the people that are going to take care of you.

[Adam Carolla]

I keep the lights on. Right.

[Santa Claus]

I need a lot of support.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. No, I. I get it all breaks down to something financial. You're essentially a Somali living in Minneapolis.

[Santa Claus]

At this point, I am completely alone up there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, I get it. I've seen the movies. Homes.com. oh, man, I'm a fan. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. I agree with those people. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right Home right away. Great. And if you're just an enthusiast like me, you can just get on there, browse around, kick some tires. Nice. See what's going on in the marketplace. Homes.com. we've done your homework.

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[Adam Carolla]

League one volleyball is coming to Minnesota in 2027. The world's best players together on American soil. This is volleyball like you've never seen before.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

Huge swings, massive blocks, jaw dropping digs.

[Adam Carolla]

A sport where every play is a highlight. To learn more and get first access, visit LOVB Minnesota.com iheart. Best gift. I'm trying to think now. I'm not usually kind to my family, you know that, right? But I would say I had a breakthrough. I had a banner. I had a banner Christmas in. I was outside of Philadelphia in C. Kane. Now Andrew in the next room claims to be an expert on all things Philadelphia, but he never heard of Sea Kane, which is 18 minutes outside of Philadelphia, which I found fascinating. But that'll be something for you to deal with him about in terms of the lump of coal situation he's got waiting for him and his stocking.

[Santa Claus]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

But I was in Sekane, Pennsylvania when I was about five and I got, I got like a big Tonka truck and you know, and like a semi. They got like a big truck. It was a big deal. I loved trucks back then.

[Santa Claus]

Elvis made them out of steel.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

Glass.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. None of this cheap Chinese elven magic. This was good stuff.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Just good lead based paint that bonderized steel. Yep, yep. Good old, always good stuff. Yeah, not this pot metal. No, this stuff. Half the stuff was cast forged. Yeah. When America was great and had great elves.

[Santa Claus]

We had the best elves back then.

[Adam Carolla]

I, yeah, I was probably working. I was probably about five but man, I had a real love of trucks and like equipment and you know, it was like a lot of. I guess I had like a lot of like kind of construction fantasies about like oh, dirt truck and cranes and hose and moves. I liked mechanical stuff.

[Santa Claus]

Very young, you know, not many young boys want that anymore. I had to shut the whole elf Tonka division.

[Adam Carolla]

Tonka's closed down.

[Santa Claus]

Well, the elf version.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah, yeah. It's a sad state of affairs because I work in this building with like five dudes and stuff comes up where someone goes, could you hang a curtain on the back thing. And I look around and I go, I'd love to tell one of these spastic guys to do it, but they'd only fuck it up royally. So I'm just gonna do it myself. Even though I'm the millionaire old guy who's the boss, I still have to go hang the fucking curtain myself because there's no capability in young men anymore. They don't like it. I blame college. I blame women. I blame everybody but me for that.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, well, same thing with the elves.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't they hard to find good.

[Santa Claus]

Anymore, you know, since everything is video games and downloading.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, right.

[Santa Claus]

They just get lazy and they just kind of hang around and drink a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, do they compete with like the Keebler elves or other elves? You know, Disney elves, people like that. Is there a rivalry?

[Santa Claus]

It's a big feud.

[Adam Carolla]

Like an Army Navy type situation?

[Santa Claus]

More like the Hatfield McCoys go to town.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. They are not. They are not friendly at all. You are a bunch of bastards. Or the Tolkien elves.

[Adam Carolla]

Tolkien.

[Santa Claus]

They're beautiful and they know it and they let everyone know it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but the Keebler guys with their Toll House cookies living in that hollowed out oak tree, they got a little attitude dripping off them as well.

[Santa Claus]

Not a lot of women Keebler elves.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't notice that. Yeah. Maybe that's why they're so angry. Yeah, I wonder. It's sort of like being in prison. That tree. Right?

[Santa Claus]

They got a shot caller.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Someone's calling shots. I shot good fellas.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta slice the Toll House morsels extra thin.

[Santa Claus]

That's exactly it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's from the movie.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thursday night is fudge night.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Packing, that is.

[Santa Claus]

That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

Interesting. I never really thought about where are the female Keebler elves. But then I thought about it. They're all a little androgynous because they're kind of wearing the same pointy shoes and the same pants and the same vest.

[Santa Claus]

Look again, I don't want to get into science, but they just split in half like amoebas.

[Adam Carolla]

The elves do.

[Santa Claus]

They're asexual.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. They're like the Keebler elves. They're like a platypus.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what's a platypus? Do I think they lay eggs? They lay eggs.

[Santa Claus]

They're like an amoeba.

[Adam Carolla]

But the platypus is. The platypus is a.

[Santa Claus]

It's a half beef or half duck.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. God, you know Everything. They're also venomous platypus. Platypi.

[Santa Claus]

They're venomous platypi. Yep. Now.

[Adam Carolla]

But are they mammals?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, they're mammals.

[Adam Carolla]

They're mammals who lay eggs.

[Santa Claus]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

That's rare. Right.

[Santa Claus]

Well, first of all, it's Australia.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. So. Yeah. It's all. Bets are.

[Santa Claus]

So. It's hard to get there.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God. With the time difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's gotta be rough. So do you start. Is Australia in front of us or behind us? Oh, no, they're behind us.

[Santa Claus]

They're behind us.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I say this? A male platypus. Yes. Yes. Male platypuses are venomous. Yeah. Posing a sharp. Can I ask you this, St. Nick.

[Santa Claus]

Yes, sir.

[Adam Carolla]

They call Australia down under.

[Santa Claus]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And they love it. They're so enamored. I'm from down under. Yeah. Okay. That's mildly amusing. Stop saying it. But they keep saying it. You know, it's kind of like get er done. You know what I mean? Like, okay, it's not that funny. We get it. We get it. It's not funny. Oh, ho, ho.

[Santa Claus]

Same way. Well, you can be honest.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. It should either be one ho or three hoes, but ho, ho. Oh, there's three. Okay. Yeah. Ho, ho. Good. All right. So we call them down under. What about us calling ourselves up over? I mean, if they're down under, it.

[Santa Claus]

Never really caught on.

[Adam Carolla]

It didn't catch on. But I'm saying we could. You keep talking about the floor, but what about the ceiling?

[Santa Claus]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't have a house without a ceiling and a floor. And you're just floor, floor, floor talk. You're down under. Well, who's up over? And then why aren't we calling ourselves up over? Because I'd rather be a top than down under.

[Santa Claus]

That's very true. Rather a hammer than a nail. I'm just North Pole, so I'm just over over.

[Adam Carolla]

You're over.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The Keeblers. Are there any females amongst the Keebler elves? That's the question.

[Santa Claus]

Now, there are plenty of female North Pole elves. Oh, there are Plenty.

[Adam Carolla]

Plenty.

[Santa Claus]

Yes.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

Wow.

[Santa Claus]

And I have a hall pass from Mrs. Claus. Any elf?

[Adam Carolla]

Any elf?

[Santa Claus]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

At any time?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah. You know the jingle. Now get to know the guys over at O'Reilly and gals at O'Reilly Auto Parts. You want to be the guy on the side of the road stuck on the shoulder, looking like a dope? No, that's not gonna be you. This year, friendly, helpful service people who actually know their stuff, not just some kid who'd rather be on his phone. Always used O'Reilly. I mean I was always. I like the way that O'Reilly smells. I like going in there. Like the smell of car parts and vulcanized rubber and capitalism and turning wrenches. I like the way all that smells in there. Guys doing it for themselves. So whether you're a gearhead or you don't know a lug nut from a donut, they'll walk you through it. No attitude, just real help. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or you can visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam.

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[Adam Carolla]

You know, I don't want to pry too much into your private life, but you know, Mrs. Claus, we talk about the seven year itch, you know, and we talk about, you know, these guys have been together for 20 years and it kind of the spark is gone. It's run its course. But being with the same woman for 2000 years or 900 years or I don't know how long ago. 2000. You guys have been together 2000 years? I mean, again, I don't know how you keep it fresh.

[Santa Claus]

We do not.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't keep it fresh?

[Santa Claus]

No. We haven't had sex in a long, long time. Like 400 years, 19, 10 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you're counting.

[Santa Claus]

Oh yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah.

[Santa Claus]

That's why I'm okay with the elves.

[Adam Carolla]

Mrs. Claus, right?

[Santa Claus]

She gets nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, there are female Keebler elves. The Internet is amazing, is it not? Though the famous male characters like Ernie and Elwood are more prominent in the lineup and includes female elves like Joy, known as the organizer. It's almost like a shot caller. And other females like Ma, as in Matriarch and Florence. I never really thought of Ma and Matriarch, but anyway, Florence. So evidently there's some. But they're.

[Santa Claus]

But Those elves are 6 foot 115 pounds.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, those aren't Elv elves.

[Santa Claus]

No, they're.

[Adam Carolla]

Or maybe they just keep them barefoot in the kitchen, where female elf just don't own commercials.

[Santa Claus]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

They didn't want to get their SAG after the card, but anyway. So you and Ms. Claus have an open relationship?

[Santa Claus]

Very open.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Santa Claus]

You've got. You have to.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, it's been, say, almost 16. Let's see, what'd you say? How many years? Sixteen, 10 years, at least. Okay. Yeah. That's a while. Yeah.

[Santa Claus]

Now, I've been taking care of your kids very well.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, God damn.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. Am I overdoing it? Am I overdoing it?

[Adam Carolla]

I yelled at a group of dads the other day. I said, you know, my son, he's been to Japan two times and he's 19. And then I said, I'm 61. Have I been to Japan? No, I haven't been to Japan. You want to know the answer? Why I haven't been to Japan? I can't afford it. That's my answer.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So my son, my daughter. I gotta tell you, you screwed up one Christmas for my daughter. Just one.

[Santa Claus]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

She put the list together, and you must have been feeling pretty generous that year, but you bought. I'm sorry. You created everything on that list. And she got it all. And when she got it all, she went nuts. She was like 6 years old and she was running around opening everything. I learned a valuable lesson, St. Nick, that when you have too much or all, you kind of go nuts. What you need is the one thing that you really focus on and enjoy. She was tearing open one package, and before she even got the toy out of it, going to the next package and tearing that open. And you just helped her out a little too much.

[Santa Claus]

That's a lesson I try to teach rich kids.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you do?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. You gotta be happy with.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that was intentional.

[Santa Claus]

You know what? It almost never works.

[Adam Carolla]

It worked.

[Santa Claus]

Oh, good. It did work. Did she learn her lesson?

[Adam Carolla]

She's in rehab right now.

[Santa Claus]

My fault.

[Adam Carolla]

But. Well, not totally. There's blame to go around for her mom, but no, it taught me a lesson, and I think one for her as well, which is too much. It became almost a. You ever see that show Twilight Zone?

[Santa Claus]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

It'd be like a kind of a thing where you went, man, I love women. What if I could have a thousand women, a thousand wives, and then at some point you kill yourself because they're bugging the hell out of there. Too many. There's too much. Too much. Or it's a sort of. A sort of A. I love ice cream. Well, what if we threw you in a giant vat of ice cream? Like how much you'd be throwing up. You know what I mean?

[Santa Claus]

Dying and getting 42 versions.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. Old quickly, you know, I don't know all the world's religions, but yeah. And then also, it kind of makes you ask about the virgins. How'd they get there?

[Santa Claus]

They had no choice. They get yanked away.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So kind of what I'm saying is, you know, I'm from LA, so the over under on the average virgin is 15 and seven months. So that means we had to cap a lot of 16 year olds to get them up there so they would maintain their virginity.

[Santa Claus]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Which seems needlessly cruel to the young high school girl who's just beginning her journey in life.

[Santa Claus]

It is a tough life.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Yeah. Also, it's a weird. It's a random number. 42. Do you know?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. I think that. Because it's divisible by seven.

[Adam Carolla]

Huh.

[Santa Claus]

I think they're. They're very into the number seven.

[Adam Carolla]

They are. I think so. It's divisible. But here's the thing. I would be okay with seven virgins. You know what I mean?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. Wouldn't need 42. I. Yeah, well, you know better than I do. But anyway, I'm sorry, you were saying? What? I. I can't remember.

[Santa Claus]

Oh, we were just talking about the lessons you learned. Having to. It's like a Scarface scenario.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a Scarface scenario.

[Santa Claus]

He got what he wanted, but he wanted more.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Sorry. 72 virgins. When you said 42, I thought it was wrong. But then, I don't know, you know, maybe your big.

[Santa Claus]

Look, I'm old. I'll get a lot of facts wrong. I was wrong about the elves, wrong about the platypi.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, you weren't too.

[Santa Claus]

You were wrong a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

You weren't too. You weren't. I thought maybe you're just a huge Jackie Robinson fan.

[Santa Claus]

I was.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I mean, we all are, but anyway, I think he went by 42. That's his.

[Santa Claus]

They retired that from all of baseball.

[Adam Carolla]

All of baseball.

[Santa Claus]

No one can have it.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's how you know baseball's not a sport.

[Santa Claus]

Oh, please.

[Adam Carolla]

They eat in the dugout all game long. But you can't.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

You go.

[Adam Carolla]

Go the sideline of a football game. The sideline of a football game. You check out the sideline. The defensive coordinator has a tablet. He's like pointing stuff out to the free safety with a headset. On and like screaming at the guy and they're looking at stuff. And then you go to the dugout of an average baseball game and they're fucking around and eating. No one's talking to him about anything. It's not like the coach or the manager's like looking at a tablet going, here's what you got. They're just sitting there. That guy's over there wearing tennis shoes and a baseball outfit. He's doing nothing. These people are making a pyramid out of sunflower seed husk. The other guy's got his rally hat on. He's putting his hat on backwards football. These guys are sucking on oxygen. They have an IV of Gatorade and there's some coach with a headset like screaming at the guy while they're looking at a tablet. It's a job. And homes.com. oh man, I'm a fan. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. I agree with those people. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home right away. Great. And if you're just an enthusiast like me, you can just get on there and browse around, kick some tires. Nice. See what's going on in the marketplace. Homes.com. we've done your homework.

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[Adam Carolla]

On Jackie Rob. Okay, let's just say. Let's see. Let me. Let me try to.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. They have a separate tent. If that. You might have a concussion, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

It's a separate tent.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. You go in there and get checked out.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

The.

[Adam Carolla]

See, James Harris was a black quarterback. I'm well aware. I know you know, but I'm saying this now. They played for the Rams, but he was one of the first black quarterbacks. Maybe the first black quarterback may have been Briscoe for Denver. Was the first. Look it up. First black quarterback, I think played for the Denver Broncos and was. I don't remember his first name, and that's something. James Harris was very close to the first black quarterback. But here's what I'm saying. I gotta know, is it Briscoe for the Denver. I think it was Denver. First black quarterback.

[Santa Claus]

Pollard.

[Adam Carolla]

Fritz Pollard. Was he a Denver guy? Oh, he was. He was a Denver guy. All right, so it was Fritz. They're like, look, as long as you got a German name, we can let you start. Black guy. Fritz Pollard is the widest sounding.

[Santa Claus]

They were super surprised when he took.

[Adam Carolla]

The crowd was chanting, fritz. Fritz.

[Santa Claus]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

What? Yeah, Fritz Paul. All right, 73. I'm sorry. Oh, wait a minute. Early days. Wait a minute. Hold on.

[Santa Claus]

See, that's 1923.

[Adam Carolla]

No, this is. I'm sorry. In the modern. In the modern era.

[Santa Claus]

They didn't throw in 1923.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they carried that ball in an underground railroad back then.

[Santa Claus]

Was it Jim Thorpe?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there was no Denver Broncos. And. Okay, you asshole. There's Marlon Briscoe. God damn it. All right. See what they do to me, Santa?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I say, Briscoe for Denver. They go, no, there's a guy named Fritz Hayward from the. He was from the. He was from 1923. All right, that guy played one game. He never threw the ball. In the NFL. In the modern NFL. Was Briscoe the first. Marlon Briscoe was the first in modern NFL. Thank you.

[Santa Claus]

I remember the winter of 53 when I was born.

[Adam Carolla]

Him. Gave him life. Oh, no. You got him a Tonka truck.

[Santa Claus]

I got him a Tonka truck and a ball.

[Adam Carolla]

He was 8. Oh, football.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so he was.

[Santa Claus]

So I got him a basketball.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, sure. You're doing the math, right? Yeah.

[Santa Claus]

He had other interests.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You didn't give him any lacrosse gear, did you?

[Santa Claus]

No, no, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but James Brown, he got some lacrosse gear. So. All right, now, James Harris entered the league. What? Then he started. He must have just missed Briscoe by. All right, here's my whole point.

[Santa Claus]

Please.

[Adam Carolla]

You ready? Briscoe was the first black quarterback in the NFL. But we can't have Briscoe Day. We can't have Marlon Briscoe day because all the players can't wear the same number because we're doing a sport here. In baseball, on Jackie Robinson Day, they all just wear 42 because who gives a fuck? They could wear all the same number, no numbers, a swastika on the back. It wouldn't matter because it's not really a sport. You see what I'm saying? James Shaq Harris. No one called him James Shaq Harris. Entered the NFL in 1969. Drafted by the Bills, ended up on the Rams. But James. So James Harris is drafted in 69 and then Briscoe, 73. Is that what it was?

[Santa Claus]

Well, if they all had the same numbers in football, they wouldn't know who committed any penalties.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right, because they have rules and it's an actual sport and it moves fast. Whereas baseball is just gonna wear the same number. Don't forget your food. But the last World Series, I mean, come on, Santa.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, that was great. That was my gift to the world.

[Adam Carolla]

That was your gift to the world? To all of us. Wow. Marlon Briscoe, drafted in 1968. Oh, man, who knows more about damn shit than me? So Briscoe beats James Harris by just one year as really the first modern player. Although I would argue James had a longer, better career, I would say. And then there's Rodney Pete. Don't get me started.

[Santa Claus]

And he was fantastic.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Rodney, good.

[Santa Claus]

Is he an LA guy?

[Adam Carolla]

USC guy?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Well, you.

[Santa Claus]

I think he went to Hamilton.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Maybe, yeah.

[Santa Claus]

Can your elves figure that out?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, if Rodney Pete went to Hamilton High School in la. Alright, so you know everything. You're omnipotent. You know all. You don't tell all, but you know all.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, I keep a lot of secrets.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. So where were we?

[Santa Claus]

I don't remember.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, of course you don't.

[Santa Claus]

For being omnipotent, I've got a short term memory issue.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know we're talking about my.

[Santa Claus]

Wife and my open marriage, right?

[Adam Carolla]

So you can have at any elf, anytime.

[Santa Claus]

Well, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. True story.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, A lot of. A lot a lot, a lot, yeah. What is? You have a holiday song she like.

[Santa Claus]

That's a biggie. Brings back good memories. Mm, let me see. Jingle Bells. Of course.

[Adam Carolla]

Of course.

[Santa Claus]

That's a good one. I'm not a big fan of Mama Got Run over by a Reindeer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Grandma, I think. I think it was grandma that got. Yeah, yeah. But novelty song.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, you know the jingle. Now get to know the guys over at O'Reilly and gals at O'Reilly Auto Parts. You want to be the guy on the side of the road stuck on the shoulder, looking like a dope. No, that's not going to be you this year. Friendly, helpful, service people who actually know their stuff. Not just some kid who'd rather be on his phone. Always used O'Reilly. I mean, I was always. I like the way that O'Reilly smells. I like going in there. I like the smell of car parts and vulcanized rubber and capitalism and turning wrenches. I like the way all that smells in there. Guys doing it for themselves. So whether you're a gearhead or you don't know a lug nut from a donut, they'll walk you through it. No attitude, just real help. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today, or you can visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam.

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[Adam Carolla]

What do you, what's your, where do you come down on Elf on a Shelf? I, I, here's, let me explain something. It's more work. It's just more work for the parent. Like when my kids were little, my wife decided Elf on a Shelf, and I was like, okay, go ahead and put the elf up. And then at some point, I got yelled at for leaving it in the same place, like two nights in a row, you know, which is what I would do if I was an elf. You know, I would have a spot that I enjoyed. You know, I wouldn't keep moving all about the house.

[Santa Claus]

Elves, first of all, think it's racist. Oh, they're not fans. They know they're small.

[Adam Carolla]

It's cultural appropriation for them, isn't it?

[Santa Claus]

I like to think as Elf on the Shelf is, people that would use Advent calendars but can't read.

[Adam Carolla]

Huh? Right.

[Santa Claus]

Advent calendars is where it's at.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. Not down with Elf on a Shelf.

[Santa Claus]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm not either. It's too much more work for this.

[Santa Claus]

But surprisingly, I do love that dreidel song.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah.

[Santa Claus]

Love it.

[Adam Carolla]

I had a little dreidel.

[Santa Claus]

That's not it.

[Adam Carolla]

But I made it out of clay.

[Santa Claus]

Oh, that's it.

[Adam Carolla]

And when it's dry and ready, O dreidel, I will play goat. O dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. I made it out of clay and when. And try and ready, O dreidel, I shall play your first song you like.

[Santa Claus]

I've heard the. I know it in Yiddish.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, the Yiddish version. Yeah. Well, let's not beat around that Hanukkah bush too much longer.

[Santa Claus]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

And what do you think about the Seven Days of Hanukkah? Are they just kind of ripping you off and Then what about Kwanzaa? Give me a break. You invented that shit right around the time Briscoe hit the NFL.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, well, Hanukkah.

[Adam Carolla]

I dig Hanukkah.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, that's okay. That's a good one. I never understood the rules to Kwanzaa. Right? And when I try to wear the Kwanzaa hat.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Santa Claus]

I get yelled at.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Santa Claus]

I flat out yelled at. It's kind of like a Jamaican macrame kind of deal.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. I thought it was canary yellow and felt, you know, like a pimp might wear.

[Santa Claus]

Well, maybe I'm ruining the wrong one.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I just want to say this to the black community. You don't need Kwanzaa. And by the way, you don't need your national anthem sung before the Super Bowl. Just have the one. Just have Christmas and just have the national anthem. Not yours and yours and yours. That's the problem.

[Pluto TV Promo Voice]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Harvard's gonna have all black dorms. Okay, good. That's gonna help heal this nation.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. Well, do you think they should spell Kwanzaa with a Q?

[Adam Carolla]

I would. Isn't it?

[Santa Claus]

I think it's a K. Really?

[Adam Carolla]

Like Kawhi Leonard.

[Santa Claus]

I thought so.

[Adam Carolla]

Kwanzaa Leonard. Hmm. I gotta look it up.

[Santa Claus]

Do other nations have. I should know this. Do other nations have Kwanzaa or just ours?

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's just ours. Yeah. Ours is K, W, A, N, Z. Can you misspell a word that was made up 10 minutes ago? Do you know what I mean? That's my question. It's an annual non religious celebration of African American culture, community and heritage. Okay. It's gonna help. That'll work. That'll work. Raise your kids. Dads. Let's do that instead of Kwanzaa for one year and see if that works. Created in 1966, two years before Briscoe got into the NFL, and it was by activist and professor. Now all professors are activists. Milana Carruca, whatever holiday, blah, blah, blah.

[Santa Claus]

Who also started the first Kwanzaa card.

[Adam Carolla]

Company, really did not know that.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, they're making a little mart.

[Adam Carolla]

Making scratch.

[Santa Claus]

Which it created demand.

[Adam Carolla]

Last question for you of Saint Nick, famous Christmas movie. Now, I watched Jingle all the Way the other night with Sinbad, and, yeah, it didn't really hold up, but keep going.

[Santa Claus]

Well, I think even though I'm not in it. Even though I'm in it, It's a Wonderful Life. Even though I'm not in it.

[Adam Carolla]

You're not in it?

[Santa Claus]

No, not at all.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sad to say I've never seen.

[Santa Claus]

That oh, well, yeah, it's pretty wonderful.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I heard it was good. I should watch that. All right. It's a Wonderful Life.

[Santa Claus]

I don't like when they try to modernize me.

[Adam Carolla]

Aha.

[Santa Claus]

Like a Rock just did one.

[Adam Carolla]

Tim Allen. Yeah, he did red one.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

A friend of mine, Chris Morgan. Chris Morgan wrote that. He's the. Oh, God. Let's see. He's Hobbs and Shaw. He's fast and furious. He does all those talented men. Yeah, yeah. Good dude. Super. Nice. He'll be here later. I don't know. I think. But you're right. Let's not turn you into a jacked action hero.

[Santa Claus]

Miracle on 34th Street.

[Adam Carolla]

Now that's old school.

[Santa Claus]

That's a good one.

[Adam Carolla]

Nice. That's a good one.

[Santa Claus]

I think they get me right there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. And like Trading Places. Not like Weird with Bill Dan Aykroyd playing Drunken Santa.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. I'm not that guy.

[Adam Carolla]

That's not you.

[Santa Claus]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you take a little side piece, elf, every once in a while. I got the permission, but you got a pass. You got an elven.

[Santa Claus]

I am not on the naughty list.

[Adam Carolla]

You got a tree pass.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. St. Nick, always good. January 8th, Loveland, Colorado. Rialto Theater, everybody. That'll be me. And then Colorado Springs, January 9th and 10th. Come on by. Doing some stand up there. January 11th at Greenwood Village Comedy. I don't know. Go to AdamCroll.com for all the live shows. Saint Nick, great job. Merry Christmas and Merry Christmas to you. Until next time, it's Adam Kroll for Saint Nick saying mahalo. You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the Ace man at AdamCola.com.

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[Adam Carolla]

Delivery.

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