
Loading summary
Adam Carolla
Well, this show is live from New York City at Rodney's Comedy Club with Kyle Dunnigan and Anthony Scaramucci. And we'll do all that right after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. If you care about predictions, you care about props. And nobody does props like Betonline. For years we've been the home of legitimate sports betting with with deep markets, sharp odds and player props that reward real insight from kickoff to final whistle. Betonline gives you live betting, instant updates and in game predictions that move as the action unfolds. Plus elevate your play with BetOnline casino and VIP rewards built for serious players prediction markets. Follow the conversation. Bet online defines it. Bet online. The game starts here.
Pluto TV Announcer
Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.
Adam Carolla
This is the mindset. Free. This is the mantra free.
Pluto TV Announcer
This is the time to. With movies like Joe dirt, pixels and 50 first dates.
Adam Carolla
This is awesome.
Pluto TV Announcer
And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents and Ghost. Pluto TV is always free.
Adam Carolla
Huzzah.
Pluto TV Announcer
Pluto TV stream now pay never.
Adam Carolla
You're welcome. Thanks for tuning in to the Adam Carolla show. You can watch the full show on YouTube. Just search Adam Carolla show and hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also get the podcast wherever you like to listen. And for extra content ad free episodes and more, you can head over to our substack and sign up today.
Angie.com Advertiser
Why have we asked our contractor we.
Adam Carolla
Found on Angie.com to be our kids legal guardian?
Angie.com Advertiser
Because he took such good care when redoing our basement that we knew we could trust him to care for our kids.
Adam Carolla
We only met a month ago. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home projects@angie.com.
Mike Dawson
Live from Rodney's in New York City, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Kyle Dunnigan and Anthony Scaramucci. Plus the news with me, Mike Dawson and now Adam Carolla.
Adam Carolla
Sit on. Got to get on to church. We're mandate you get it on now. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. Dawson's in studio.
Mike Dawson
Happy to be here.
Adam Carolla
He's got the news man.
Mike Dawson
That's right. Let's go to Long Beach, California for this first story where a candidate for mayor of Long beach posted something incredibly interesting. His name is Regelio Martinez.
Adam Carolla
Rogelio.
Mike Dawson
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Why does everybody who works in Long beach in any capacity, even the mayor, look like he's in the band Sublime?
Mike Dawson
Sure, it's the flat build Hat.
Adam Carolla
It's the flat billed hat. I don't get the flat build hat. I don't get it. I like a little rake on my hat.
Mike Dawson
You can also see that he has the sticker on the lid and that the. I hear that the reason they put the leave the sticker on it is so you can prove that you paid for it or that it's new.
Adam Carolla
But then I think it just becomes like a thing. Like prison pants, but you're on the outside. But anyway. All right, let's hear what Rogelio has to say.
Rogelio Martinez (Long Beach Mayor Candidate)
Expect a gang leader from every gang. Gang. All 55 gangs. And I'm not going to name them by name, but I'm calling the Latino gangs. I'm calling the Cambodian gangs. I'm calling the Filipino gangs. I'm calling the black gangs. I'm calling the Pacific Islander gangs. I'm calling all gang leaders to meet me right here, Long Beach City hall, this coming Monday. Why Monday? Specifically, I need you to be here to meet me in person to take back this city.
Adam Carolla
Oh.
Rogelio Martinez (Long Beach Mayor Candidate)
Our leadership is not doing anything about it, and our police are powerless. Once again, let me be very clear. My name is Rogelio Martinez. You're 20. 20, 26, Long Beach City Mayor, and I need your help. I need to see 55 gang leaders here this coming Monday. We need to take back the city. Enough is enough. Ice needs to get out of Long Beach.
Adam Carolla
All right, you can pause it for a second. I watched this earlier and this got cut off at the beginning. He goes, I want all 55 gangs of long beach to come to this beautiful city. And it's like, how beautiful can it be? You have over 40 gangs.
Mike Dawson
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
That's a lot of gang activity for a beautiful city. You know what I mean? Like, you wouldn't advertise Knott's Berry Farm that way. You know what I mean? Hey, it's great. Bring the kids. We got 55 gangs.
Mike Dawson
We got 55 gangs.
Adam Carolla
And spillikin Corners.
Mike Dawson
Yep.
Adam Carolla
You can see how peanut butter's made.
Mike Dawson
It's curious, too. He's calling out the Latino, Cambodian, Filipino, black Pacific Islander gangs. I would argue there's probably a couple of white supremacist gangs in Long Beach. I know those dudes, but they didn't get the call.
Adam Carolla
Now, I did a corporate for those guys out in Long beach not that long ago. Yeah. Hey, they pay cash. Mike's not asking questions. Who are the politicians that, like, put a camera in their face and say these things out loud? Like criminal statements, essentially. And then they always do the same thing. They do the same thing all the time. They go, come out. Make your voice heard. Push back, stand in between. Listen, you're talking about fighting law enforcement. That's what you're talking about. You can they go peacefully? Peacefully. The whole problem with peacefully. It'd be like if somebody said, look, somebody's going to key your car and then they're going to spray paint it and then they're going to pop the tires. But you just peacefully observe, right? Well, eventually you have to get involved, otherwise you don't stop them. I mean, how can you stop somebody from doing something and then stand and watch? You either get involved or you don't. And his thing is get involved. They're all saying, get involved. When they say, come back. Stand up, by the way, stand up, too. What does that mean? Pull up his chair.
Mike Dawson
Watch.
Adam Carolla
Stand up, get in their face. Push back. What does push back mean? It means push back.
Mike Dawson
Literally, push back.
Adam Carolla
This is the most insane, insane time in our country's history. But it's all chick think. And it's all leftist, retarded chick think, right? It's all. I don't know what you guys. Yes, everything is bedlam because you guys are in the streets screaming and pushing back. If you just go home, then everyone will just do their fucking job.
Mike Dawson
And then the complete lack of awareness filming this.
Adam Carolla
I know, but then they do this thing where it's like, we don't want any of these people. All right? So you are an official that got elected. And when you're an elected official, you just enforce laws, but you're not gonna enforce this one. Just anybody can come to town, set up shop, work, do whatever, get a fake ID or not hang out, maybe vote, maybe not vote. That's fine. Just times hundreds of thousands, millions of people. What's the plan? It's all crazy chick thing.
Mike Dawson
It's just. The plan is anarchy as far as I can tell.
Adam Carolla
Right? That's what it is.
Mike Dawson
A little more.
Adam Carolla
Because he does talk about, like, the plan. And they always do this thing where they go peacefully. Like, what do you need gang bangers for if that's gonna be peaceful? Right. Why don't you just get grannies? All right, let's see what he says.
Rogelio Martinez (Long Beach Mayor Candidate)
And this is the only way that I know how to get them out peacefully. Oh, but with strong force. But peacefully.
Adam Carolla
Okay, this guy.
Rogelio Martinez (Long Beach Mayor Candidate)
The police are not at fault. Oh, the police are not doing anything wrong. I'm not here to defund the police.
Adam Carolla
This guy's.
Rogelio Martinez (Long Beach Mayor Candidate)
I stand with my Long beach police officers.
Adam Carolla
He stands with them. But he's calling all gang bangers to come down and create bedlam in the streets.
Mike Dawson
How is that going to work out?
Adam Carolla
I don't know. Again, I don't know why you need gang bangers if it's going to be peaceful.
Mike Dawson
I'm curious what the polling is in Long beach after this. I wonder if this guy got a boost in support from a certain element of the population in Long Beach.
Adam Carolla
The gangbanger, the Cambodian gangbanger. Populist.
Mike Dawson
He's really big. Yeah. And the Pacific Islander gang banger.
Adam Carolla
A lot of it is. A lot of it is where electing a lot of dopes. I mean, just sort of 10 cent head. This guy's got a 10 cent head. What is the plan? What do you want to do? You want to get rid of ice? Okay, who's going to get rid of ice? Well, not the police and not the citizens, but the gang bangers are coming, but they're going to do it peacefully. How is it they are going to remove ice peacefully and then if they are, what do you need gang bangers for? Jesus Christ. These guys won't rest until someone gets shot. If you really think like they won't.
Mike Dawson
Even rest after people get shot.
Adam Carolla
Well, let's just think about what these guys. You're right. Let's just think about this. There's a bunch of ICE guys out there with guns and they ain't scared to use them. I think we figured that out. And now a bunch of gang bangers just ascend onto the city and get in the face of the guys with the guns. And then the gang bangers probably have a weapon too. And where are we now?
Mike Dawson
Peacefully.
Adam Carolla
Peacefully. All right.
Mike Dawson
Yeah.
Rogelio Martinez (Long Beach Mayor Candidate)
All right.
Adam Carolla
All right. Why does California become like some sort of receptacle for like the Dopius of all.
Mike Dawson
Here is my theory.
Adam Carolla
Here is my theory. Some sort of gutter system for retards.
Mike Dawson
All of the worst ideas are funneled here because the idiots who run everything are from other places. They've been driven out of their own homes and they come here and bring all their stupid ideas.
Adam Carolla
He seems like.
Mike Dawson
He seems. He's a local, probably.
Adam Carolla
Local, yeah. Got his dumb idea. He's fucking. Yeah.
Mike Dawson
Anyway, he's like people from Swalwell. The dudes from Iowa. Katie Porter came from like fucking Kansas.
Adam Carolla
Or some shit, so.
Mike Dawson
Yeah. Well, there's a great story from the Associated Press. This is hilarious. 2026 Olympic Winter Games are going to kick off next week. The Associated Press has found one major Problem with the Olympics.
Adam Carolla
Winter.
Mike Dawson
The winter.
Adam Carolla
Not enough representation.
Mike Dawson
Not enough Third world representation.
Adam Carolla
What about those Cambodian, Cambodian. Cambodian gangbangers.
Mike Dawson
Can they ski Zambonian?
Adam Carolla
Zambonian gangbangers.
Mike Dawson
Look, for the same reason, I think there shouldn't be hockey in places where it doesn't snow.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Mike Dawson
Third World countries are not big downhill skiers or bobsledders or the skeleton track. Because.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, no, look, here's the thing. All right, look, look. I was a poor person. People. Once in a while, someone will say to me, did you guys ski growing up? I go, no. How would we ski? How would we ski?
Mike Dawson
Right?
Adam Carolla
And they go, I don't know. We skied. Okay, well, in order to ski, you have to have equipment. You have to rent equipment.
Pluto TV Announcer
But.
Adam Carolla
But the other thing no one ever talks about, you need a car that can make it to the ski resort. That means up a long mountain road and sometimes with ice on it. Right? We did not have a car that could make it to the top of mountain high or bear mountain or mammoth. That would have taken a new car, like a good car. We didn't have that kind of car. So we didn't have a car that could get there. But then once you get there, the. The lift pass was 35 bucks. The rental for the ski, it's. What about apparel? I mean, we got a sweat jacket and cut off denim.
Mike Dawson
The cost of admission.
Adam Carolla
It's impossible.
Mike Dawson
Way too far.
Adam Carolla
Exactly. No one I knew skied. It was be an impossibility to ski.
Mike Dawson
When I heard people, when I was in high school and people were saying they were going skiing this weekend, I always assumed they were totally rich.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Yeah. I would go to the Gallagher's house and see a picture of them.
Mike Dawson
Now, Summer Olympics are a lot more equitable because you don't need equipment to run.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Mike Dawson
You can just run.
Adam Carolla
Oh, not only that, you have an advantage. You're being chased by a tiger the whole time or a moose or a yak or something.
Mike Dawson
Listen to this reporting, this excellent reporting from the Associated Press. And specifically, pay attention to what she says about this.
Adam Carolla
But also, I mean, can we. Look, the marathon is dominated by Ethiopians. Can we just kind of agree? Kenyans or Kenyans or Ethiopians. Yes. Okay. They have the body type for it. They have the climate for it. Whatever it is, that's what they do. Yeah. I don't begrudge it. I go, that's. That's their thing. And then you go Nordic skiing and you go, okay, well, the guy's a Swedish guy. Do that. Or Whatever, it's fine. Like everyone can have their own little sport. All right, here we go.
Mike Dawson
This is hilarious.
Angie.com Advertiser
Immigration from Africa and the Middle east is changing the demographics of Europe's top winter sports countries. But that hasn't really translated to their largely white rosters heading to the Milan Cortina Winter Olympics, for instance. Team Sweden is almost entirely made up of ethnically Swedish athletes. Oh, hardly a reflection of the country's diversity as Sweden has welcomed historic numbers of asylum seekers and in recent decades point to social, financial and geographical barriers and believe there needs to be a big cultural shift.
Mike Dawson
Maybe if rape was an Olympic sport.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we can get influence behind some of those folks involved from the African.
Angie.com Advertiser
Nation is their parents.
Adam Carolla
For second generation parents may be grooming's an event.
Angie.com Advertiser
Young athletes may have a harder time garnering the support that they need.
Adam Carolla
My parents made me nervous because they felt scared. They felt maybe I was also out of the place. Maybe it's something dangerous, maybe it's something I don't belong to. But I proved them wrong.
Angie.com Advertiser
There are also financial and political factors at play too. Immigrants live in major urban areas, skiing hubs in the mountains, and are in less.
Adam Carolla
I think she's Somali. I think she. She goes cross country to the daycare center and then defrauds the government long.
Angie.com Advertiser
Hike back children that give them access to free ski equipment and the slopes. Experts also believe that more needs to be done by winter sports.
Adam Carolla
We should start a network called the out of Problem News. Oh, yeah, where this, this is like the lead story on the out of Problems. Yes. Who gives a fuck?
Mike Dawson
By the way, Just a non sequitur here. I was up in the Bay Area last week and I listened to the Black Information Network. Oh, and this one story they did, the Don Lemon story.
Adam Carolla
Oh, it's gotta be great.
Mike Dawson
And the lady said, don Lemon, a black man.
Adam Carolla
I love when they do that. I love it. I love it. Oh, there's a thing. Maybe somebody can play it. But it was in New York talking to like kindergarten kids. The school was giving a speech about the kids and the kids have to fight hate and all this kind of stuff. I don't know if you saw that one. It was good, but I just thought, yeah, yeah, indoctrinate these kids early. Get them into the whole race thing. Make sure everybody's fighting about race all the time, always. Even though it's 2026, you have to hit race on everything all the time. And it's so fucking ridiculous. But also what a sad thing. Like to sit back and just Reflect on your life at the end of your life and go, I spent my whole life just fucking tilting at a windmill that didn't even really exist. Fighting race. All right, sorry. What else you got?
Mike Dawson
Comedy club in Minnesota canceled six sold out shows featuring comedian Ben Bankus over some jokes he made about Renee Good. He put up, you know, not, not totally funny, but her last name was Good. That's what I said after they shot her. He also referred to Good's wife as a dog and called her.
Adam Carolla
Six sold out shows.
Mike Dawson
He had six sold out shows. Here's his reaction to being canceled.
Adam Carolla
Not that my shows were canceled in Minnesota. Yeah, they were supposed to be next Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We sold out six shows in Minnesota. And they canceled it because, honestly, I don't know why. Well, yeah, I mean, him obviously. Like they wanted to cancel it last week. And then we were like, no, if you're gonna, you're gonna have to pay me. We just sold out six shows. Like, you pay me if you got to cancel like that.
Rogelio Martinez (Long Beach Mayor Candidate)
Right?
Adam Carolla
And so they're like, they were pussing.
Kyle Dunnigan
Out cuz they got a weird, you.
Adam Carolla
Know, a voicemail from a liberal being like, Are you really going to have a guy on your stage that made a joke about Rene?
Mike Dawson
So question for you.
Adam Carolla
Huh?
Mike Dawson
Does he get paid?
Adam Carolla
I'm trying to think. Mike was telling me today at the lounge at the airport that he did a corporate gig in Germany where they gave the guy. This is like 30 years ago, they gave the guy 50 grand. And day of they just went, nah, I don't want to do it anymore. And yeah, you do keep the money. I'll tell you how payment works a lot of the time, and it really shouldn't in modern times. And that thing that your sister would say, which is possession is 9/10 of the law, sounds stupid. Because someone steals your bike, that doesn't mean they own your bike. But in this world, if they pay you half up front or pay you up front, good luck getting the money back. But if they don't pay you any money, good luck getting the money from them. See what I'm saying? And so it's like, this isn't a corporate case.
Mike Dawson
So if he got an advance, he.
Adam Carolla
Won'T get an advance. But if this is like a corporate gig and they go, it's 50 grand, we'll give you. First off, you always go, we need half or all. No way are we gonna do this. And then you go, I didn't think it was that funny. And then you don't get Paid, Right. You know what I mean? And like I said, good luck getting it out of them. You'll never get it out of them. So if it's a corporate type thing, you got half or full, then you get paid, then you don't give it back, Then they could go, we want it back. And then you go, fuck you. We had a deal. But in this case, you settle up after the show because he's.
Mike Dawson
So he's probably not getting paid.
Adam Carolla
No, I mean, he's probably got, you know, a door deal where he gets like 75 or 80% or whatever, whatever the door is, maybe. And there's a guarantee. There's, there's usually a guarantee involved, but good luck getting the guarantee. The guarantee doesn't show up before the gig. So I would say this would be. We'd have a very difficult time getting paid.
Mike Dawson
Okay? Now the club owner says, and I. Look, I got to agree with the club owner here. He says, a small club like ours does not have the needed resources to mitigate current risks. We're obligated to place the highest priority on the safety of our guests, staff and talent. And we're left with no option but to cancel in the current climate in Minnesota. Yeah, well, yeah, you kind of gotta do that.
Adam Carolla
I just did a show with Kelly and they had, she ordered two magnetometers, not just one, two metal detectors, people could pass through.
Mike Dawson
So, but the end, these were at the same entrance. You go through two of them.
Adam Carolla
You know what I think? First I was like, why do we need two of them? Because, by the way, we gotta split the cost for all that. But you know, Megyn Kelly, she needs security, you know, in this day and age. Here's how much security I had. I walked home from the Kennedy Center, I walked back to the hotel in a snowstorm, just alone, dragging the merch bag. Mike said, I'm waiting for the Uber. I said, the Uber's never showing. I just left. That's my security.
Mike Dawson
That was my other question. You have no fear.
Adam Carolla
I don't, but that doesn't mean I'm smart. No. A magnetometer. I assume they wanted two because it was a sold out show. There's 8, 900 people and I gotta.
Mike Dawson
Send everybody funnel through.
Adam Carolla
One is just gonna take too long to load, right? So they, they, they got two going. Oh, we have the, the school children being indoctrinated. Jesus Christ. By the way, who's worse? Okay, let me, let, let, let me ask you this. Who was better and got worse? Like fall from grace type of thing. Like, you go, you know, there's stories like Weinstein, you know what I mean? Like, oh, that guy was the toast of the town and now he's in jail. Or Bill Cosby, he was America's father. Right. Who's fallen further in, like, the last eight years? Nurses or schoolteachers? I mean, because it used to be they were both just in the hero department. Right. I would have said nurse.
Mike Dawson
I would have said school teachers.
Adam Carolla
He was up there with firemen. It was like, fireman, nurse, schoolteacher. Now, schoolteachers are the fucking worst, right? They're all pieces of liberal shit. And I learned that during COVID And now it turns out nurses are the angriest, craziest, most fucked up people on the planet.
Mike Dawson
And nurses can actually do bodily harm.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Mike Dawson
To patients, whereas the teachers only do mental harm.
Adam Carolla
That's right. Just mental harm that lasts forever. All right. Here. Well, this is a school. I guess it's a school outside.
Mike Dawson
Are those cops in the background or.
Adam Carolla
Some sort of Gestapo? Gestapo women. But these are like five. Five year olds.
Mike Dawson
Yeah. Look at the one white kid.
Adam Carolla
Look at all those who are out protesting against the violence that we see and the harm that we see happening to our friends. So some of our friends show us, their friends, how they feel about what's happening and what they want to see happen in our government to change the harm that we see. So, Tahad, how do you feel about what's happening? I feel. I feel all of it. Right. And how do you feel? What did you tell us earlier? I feel angry. Because you don't like to see what? I would like to punch an Asian lady when I grow up or take it away from their family. Right. Freak the kids out. He's just repeating what they told him. What do we want to say? Ask the white kid. Stop the hating. Right. Okay. And my last three. Faith, Mariama and Raya. No one has a name. Normal name. Stop hurting people. I like that. They dragged it. All right, you're positive? They dragged the cafeteria lady in there who does not have a grasp on the English language. And she's a little off. Yeah.
Mike Dawson
That's absolutely insane. I've never. I have not seen that. But there's something in their heads that makes them think this is not only acceptable, but needed.
Adam Carolla
Well, it's all.
Mike Dawson
And they feel like heroes.
Adam Carolla
It's part of the. All roads lead to narcissism because why are you filming yourself? And also, nobody even reads at the right grade level anymore, does math anymore. But you just fucking educate the kids like what if other jobs work that way? Like, what if transmission repair went well? Primarily, I'm here to fix transmissions, but I also want to lay down some of my philosophies and indoctrinate some of the folks who own these cars. And my personal political. I want to lay down some of my political thoughts, like just fix the fucking transmission. Teachers just fucking teach. That's all. We don't even know where you're at. I don't even want to know what you're. I don't want to know if you're straight or gay. I don't want to know who you voted for. You have a job. Teach. There's classes, there's history, there's math, there's all sorts of reading and language. Just feel free to go ahead and teach. Here's the thing. Women can't do it. They can't. So. Meaning if you have guys and the guys are vegan, they can shut their face and go about their vegan business and let you eat a ham sandwich, right? Women ain't gonna put up with that shit. You can't sit there at work without them starting to say something about what you're doing and then getting up. It goes against their fiber. And so the women become schoolteachers. And now we're fucked. All right. Going to Florida. Why shouldn't I go to Florida? Funny Bone Atlanta. I think there's tickets there. We're doing a live podcast there. And then Naples. Off the hook. Good food at that place. Bunches of shows. Early ones sold out, but we're doing three on Saturday, so.
Mike Dawson
Nice.
Adam Carolla
Go to amcroll.com for all the live stuff. Dawson, you got any shows?
Mike Dawson
Yeah, actually. You can just catch me. Monday through Friday from 3 to 7pm afternoon drive on 95.7 FM in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Adam Carolla
Nice. All right, now we're going to switch gears. Going to a live pod at Rodney's Comedy Club, New York City. Kyle Dunnigan is there. Anthony Scaramucci. We'll do that right after this. Cardiff. Small businesses, they're the backbone of the country. The problem is over half of small businesses need funding and banks are stingy. So if you want bank rates without bank delays, you gotta go check out Cardiff Co. Adam. They are the largest privately held small business lender in the U.S. the application takes under five minutes and doesn't hit your personal credit. You can use the money however you see fit. Cardiff knows that small businesses keep this country moving. It's Cardiff. Am I right, Dawson?
Mike Dawson
Banks try to lock out small businesses. Cardiff has the Key big banks may not want to approve your business loans, but Cardiff does. If you've been in business for at least a year and are pulling in $20,000 a month in revenue, apply now for up to $500,000 in same day business funding at Cardiff Co Adam again, that's Cardiff Co Adam. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff Borrow better.
Adam Carolla
Morgan and Morgan. Well, there's a reason Tom Brady's got seven rings. Just like there's a reason Morgan. And Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. Over 20 billion recovered from more than 500,000 clients. That's not a slogan, that's results. In one Florida case, insurance offered 350 grand, client walked away with 12 million. They've been doing this for 35 years. Fighting for the people. Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm for the people, not the powerful. It's Morgan and Morgan, right, Dawson?
Mike Dawson
If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information go to forthepeople.com adam or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone. That's fo r the people.com adam or pound law pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. It's time to check Adam's voicemail.
Adam Carolla
Corolla. You know what would be an awesome video is if you could show trump those that house with those goddamn mile long caissons in the goddamn ground. Him being a builder, he would, he would tear that. He would. The dude has no idea that kind of shit's going on. I guarantee goddamn to you. Show that to him and he sees it firsthand. Oh my God, that would make some great ass video right there.
Mike Dawson
You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.
Adam Carolla
Damn cold out there. Sorry, sorry I'm late. I flew in from LA so it was like crazy. It took us 45 minutes. We'll bring Kyle up and the mooch up in a second. I will say I hate la, but I will say in la, when I'm in an Uber and I'm running late, I don't contemplate getting out and walking New York. Every time I'm driven in New York, at some point somebody says, let's just walk. And I'm like, well, we're in a car and it has wheels on it and they're like, we'd be much better off if we were walking. And I'm like, I kind of defeats the purpose of the car. You Know, but LA sucks and LA has nothing but traffic. But I. I will say I've never gotten out of the car and walked. And I wanted to do it like eight times on the way here. But it's always a thing where you go, how far out are we? It's always like we're half a mile away. All right, how long we until we get there? 14 minutes. Okay. How long does it take to walk half a mile? 14 minutes. All right, so I think Kyle Dunnigan is down there and I think Anthony Scaramucci is down there and they're both just sitting around in the green room. But I told him we were going to be starting tonight, so hopefully I can get him out. Now, you guys know Kyle Dunnigan and you know Scaramucci, right? Right. Okay, good, good. Yeah, you guys are. You're few, but you're proud. Although proud. Used to proud was more of a warrior thing, and now it's like a gay thing. I don't know. They took the rainbow, they took the pride. That guy was a proud rainbow warrior and now he's gay. All right, Scaramucci over there. They're coming up the stairs. Anthony Scaramucci and Kyle Donegan. Yeah, why don't you guys just sit, sit here and we'll talk to you.
Anthony Scaramucci
We're back in the 80s.
Adam Carolla
Yes. And Kyle Dunnigan. Lots of stuff I want to get into. First off, I was. Last time we did this, Kyle came out and was making me laugh because I forgot where at Rodney's and I, I forgot that Kyle does a killer. Rodney Dangerfield. Great to be here, you know, and club and then doing good. And then I. So then I started thinking it scared me now. So when I was talking to Dr. Drew, he's like, oh, I did the special forces training. Fox show was rough with Scaramucci and Drew dropped out. Day one.
Anthony Scaramucci
Day one.
Adam Carolla
Day one. Day one. Dr. Drew, he did not make it.
Anthony Scaramucci
Good judgment. He had good judgment.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he. He did not do make it in the special. It was like a special needs sort of thing. More than a special forces kind of thing with Drew. Drew got dehydrated, I think. Day one, you made it to what?
Anthony Scaramucci
So there were 10 days. I was. It's hard to believe I was 58 years old when I did it. I made it six days and I, you know, I fell. I was descending on this like 180 foot drop, but as I was getting in position, I smashed my head against the rock and so gave myself a concussion. So they, they pulled me. I probably would have Stayed. But you did the Mike Piazzi. Remember the catcher from the Metro?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Anthony Scaramucci
He broke his cheekbone in the tear gas chamber.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Anthony Scaramucci
So they drop a tear gas canister in the chamber, and then they hand you a mask, and you got to get the mask on, and then you got to find your way out of the chamber.
Adam Carolla
I think a catcher would be good at getting the mask on.
Anthony Scaramucci
He panicked and then he blacked out and we landed.
Kyle Dunnigan
He broke his.
Anthony Scaramucci
I mean, it was. If you ever get invited to do Special Forces. Do not do special.
Adam Carolla
No, no. You know what's a weird one? The catcher with the mask. Because they have the mask. Like, you can do a lot wearing a mask. You can catch a touchdown. You can. You know, Tom Brady won seven Super Bowls with a helmet and a mask on, right? And then guys catch perfect games behind the plate. You know, knuckleballs and curve balls and sliders with a mask on. But if a guy hits a foul ball and it goes 14ft in the air, the guy has to pull his mask off and throw it as far as he can possibly. Like, he couldn't possibly just catch the ball with this thing that's on his head that he's been catching balls with it since he was 9. I don't. I think it's dramatic. I think they do it for. I think they do it because it looks cool. Does look cool. I think those guys practice pulling their mask off and throwing it. By the way, someone's going to get hurt because they're going to be killed by a mask that somebody throws. But Rodney Dangerfield, you would probably be the worst celebrity on the Special Forces. What do you mean? You gotta be great. Well, we're gonna put you in a jeep and we're gonna plunge you into the sea. And you have to get out of the Jeep.
Anthony Scaramucci
That was scary.
Adam Carolla
I'd be better at that than you doing comedy. Come on. Hey, look, he's gonna be here. You're doing stand up later. I'm doing stand up later. Oh, geez. What do you mean? What do you mean? I'm a fine stand up going down the toilet. No, no, Roddy, last time I saw you do comedy, even the crickets left. No, no, no, no. I'm a very. First off, I am heralded as a comedian. I gotta change the name of the club again. I'm running out of names here. No, listen, Rodney, no misters, I'm. No, I'm gonna do you proud when I do my stand up comedy. Please. Come on now. Doing a podcast in my Comedy club. My God, nothing funnier than an hour and a half conversation about carburetors. Oh, my God, they got Scaramucci here. Look how Italian this guy is. His blood type is oregano. I can't tell you this guy's Italian. What's your love language? Pizza. Oh, my God, Kyle. I'm laughing.
Anthony Scaramucci
Maybe sausage.
Adam Carolla
I'm literally. I'm LAUGHING because at 7:00 o'clock yesterday in LA, I was doing Bill Maher's podcast. Yes. And I.
Angie.com Advertiser
Smoking.
Adam Carolla
Smoking.
Anthony Scaramucci
Smoking pot with him.
Adam Carolla
No, he was smoking pot with him. I was drinking with him. He's. He's funny. First off, he must have smoked three joints and had like seven cocktails in this period of time. But although it's kind of funny. Like. Listen, I like to drink too, but I don't do this thing where I pretend I'm not drinking. He takes this little measuring jigger, I think you would call it. Okay, be careful with that word. I've had problems. Sorry, Bill. Sorry, Bill. Yeah, he offered it up to me. He was like, jigger. And I. Please. Yes. So that Uyghurs. So he's. He's dumping tequila into this little jigger thing, and then he dumps it into his cup. And then he dumps the thing. Whatever. But after seven of them, just take the tequila and just dump it into the glass. Like, what are we doing here? So we had some drinks and I did his podcast, his club Random podcast yesterday, but I literally was with him like 24 hours ago.
Kyle Dunnigan
It's constant. Him pouring and smoking. It's like part of the thing. He makes you feel like you're kind of a. If you don't do it.
Adam Carolla
Right, right.
Kyle Dunnigan
Oh, you don't do this.
Adam Carolla
Why don't you? Oh, you know, Bill. Oh, you think it's bad? Sorry. Listen, I. I drove my period today. Adam. No, I drove my. Take a drink and have a puff like a man. I drove my SUV through a senior center last time I was drunk and killed several seniors. Yeah, but what the pot does, it cuts. Makes you drive better. I know, and I'm not sure. They're not joints. They're. They're blunts or something. They're like brown cigarette things, but they have a Tipperillo thing on them. But they're pie. Got some nicotine in it to keep you awake.
Kyle Dunnigan
And then the alcohol brings you down, and then you're exactly where you were in the beginning.
Adam Carolla
That's right. I. I made him laugh when he was really high because I. I made a Groucho Marx type joke that made him laugh.
Kyle Dunnigan
And he, and he was like, Groucho Marx type joke.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. He labeled it as a Groucho Marx type joke. And I've never said it's not a joke. And I don't think, I don't know that anyone's ever said it. But he. I was just sitting there, you know, getting drunk and get my second hand high with him, and he knows I'm divorced. And he goes, are you dating? And I go, I think he said, are you seeing anyone or do you have a girlfriend? He said, do you have a girlfriend? And I said, yeah. And he said, how long? And I said, five, eight. What is she, a marlin? Why do you need to know?
Kyle Dunnigan
That's a Groucho Marx.
Adam Carolla
That's. He labeled it a Groucho Marx joke. But it's weird. Now, I want to be overindulgent here, but as a comedian, sometimes you'll say something and you'll go, is that a new joke? Like it. It feels like a joke, like a vaudeville joke, but I haven't heard it. So did I make it up or does. As long as everybody's dead that heard it the first. Everyone's dead who heard it the first time. Yeah, they're all dead for that one. I get credit for a length joke and a.
Anthony Scaramucci
Hell, anybody here heard that joke before?
Adam Carolla
No.
Anthony Scaramucci
See?
Adam Carolla
All right, all right.
Anthony Scaramucci
Material.
Adam Carolla
All right. It's. It's a, it's a Groucho esque original joke. So did you do the Plunge where they put you on the Jeep and they dropped you into the drink?
Anthony Scaramucci
Yeah, they, it was like a Range Rover. You were at a military base in, in the Gulf and they put you in there. We were actually in the, the, the bottom of the Red Sea in the, in Jordan. The place was called the Wadi Rum Desert. And they had this military base there and they strapped you in and you, you were sinking and you had to take one last breath before you got down there. And then you had to hold your breath and wait for the SEAL to tap you. The Navy seal.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Anthony Scaramucci
And so people were flying out of the car. Everyone was flying out of the car. There's only a few people that had actually done scuba diving that got their breath under control and passed it. And if you, you know, I was one of the people flying out of the car. I was like, I'm not dying. I'm not having an Alec Baldwin episode out here. I unclipped the belt too early, got out of the car. So I had to do like two.
Adam Carolla
Laps around that Brutal the game was. You get dropped down, you have to sit there for a 20 Mississippi or something. Lord knows why we picked that state. It's all. Every. My entire childhood was like playing pickup football. It's like you can rush with a three Mississippi. You know what I mean? But it was. We. There are other states. There's Ohio, there's Utah. Maybe those are a little short, but there's other states.
Kyle Dunnigan
Try them all, they're saying. I don't think they did.
Adam Carolla
You know, you're right. Did they try all the states for timing? Because they must have said, like, one South Dakota, two South Dakota, too long, one Nebraska. No, too fast. Sounds like Bruce Springsteen. We're not gonna do that. Yeah. So you had to sit down there and not panic, and then at some point, the Navy SEAL would tap you, and then you could pop out.
Anthony Scaramucci
There were 14 people left. 11 panicked, and three actually did it.
Adam Carolla
So that's just a human thing, because it's like we could all hold our breath that long.
Anthony Scaramucci
No question.
Adam Carolla
It's just the. It's so. It's a kind of. It's. It's like. It's the unknown part. Like Dr. Drew told me once, and I always kind of think about it like you could go underwater in the deep end of a swimming pool for 60 seconds. But if somebody said, I'm just going to push your head down there, and we'll see how long you last. That's how I get my blow jobs, by the way. That's how we crack Piazza's cheek, actually. I was like, hey, man, come on, take the mask off.
Kyle Dunnigan
How long are you.
Anthony Scaramucci
That's when she goes from 5, 8 to 2 7.
Adam Carolla
That's right. But if someone holds you there, you would immediately freak out and try to. Try to get out. Right.
Anthony Scaramucci
You know, it is frightening. It just. It scares you. And I would be trying to teach you not to be scared.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Anthony Scaramucci
That's ultimately.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Anthony Scaramucci
The worst one for me was the helicopter. So that you're there the first day and they make you run, so you're clearly out of breath, and then they make you run towards a helicopter. The helicopter lifts off. You're 35ft in the air over the Red Sea, and then the seal pushes you out of the copter, and you go out of the copter backwards. And the only instruction they give you is you got to hold yourself like this. You don't just dislocate your shoulders on the way out.
Adam Carolla
Oh, is that what that is? Yeah, yeah.
Anthony Scaramucci
So I. That That I passed.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Anthony Scaramucci
And as I was doing it, I'm like, what the am I doing? And your buddy Dr. Drew was like, you know, I've got heated. Exhaustion. I'm getting the hell out of here.
Adam Carolla
He's such a puss. But it's kind of, you know, it.
Anthony Scaramucci
Is a higher IQ than me, I don't think.
Adam Carolla
I think it was being okay. No, no, it's. It's an interesting thing. Like when Trump had his physical, and the doctor's like, he's in fantastic shape, you know, and everyone was like, look at him. Look at him. He lives off of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Body fat, and he's, you know, he's overweight and look at him. Look at him. And I. I was talking to Dr. Drew about it, and he said, well, there's. There's a difference between being fit and being healthy. So Dr. Drew is f. Fit, but he's not really healthy. Like, he has issues and ailments and things, but he looks like an action figure, but he's really like an inbred poodle.
Anthony Scaramucci
I. I can't wait to text him.
Adam Carolla
He knows it. I'm leaving here. I'm going to text. No, but. But that's. That's. That's.
Anthony Scaramucci
Corolla's at Rodney's calling you an inbred.
Adam Carolla
Poodle and an action figure. Action. Yeah, he's. He's a. He's an action figure. That's fine as long as he stays in the box if you have to. If he has any action to do, then something happens to him, and then there are other people that look like. But they. They're going to outlive all of us. That's. That's what I'm. That's what I'm saying. I meant it as a compliment or something. So was it like 120 degrees in the desert?
Anthony Scaramucci
So that's the other problem. They put you in a tent, and it's 45 degrees at 3am but it's 120 during the day. And when you're trying to get to sleep, it's like you're going from 120 to 40. So you're waking up in the middle of the night finding a sleeping bag to get yourself in.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Anthony Scaramucci
And no running water. So, you know, they've got a big, like, water tower where they let you take a shower, but if you got to go to the bathroom, you in this, like, little steel drum, and they. It was. I mean, it was brutal, and I. I wouldn't do it again.
Adam Carolla
So when you're taking a dump into the steel drum. Does it sound like a calypso song? You know, Lionel Richie, come on, party forever.
Anthony Scaramucci
Say this. You wanted to make sure that you were taking the dump after they had cleaned those.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Anthony Scaramucci
No calypso songs. A lot of thudding going on.
Adam Carolla
I'm just pick. I'm hearing a steel drum. That's all.
Anthony Scaramucci
Sounds bad.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Anthony Scaramucci
But, you know. You know, the one thing I will say about it that I was impressed by is they. It was safer than it looks on tv. I mean, they do a lot of stuff in the background to make sure that you're not.
Adam Carolla
Have you done any. I. You know, it's weird when you. Sometimes I'll start making fun of somebody because I'll be like, this guy did Dancing with the Stars. What a fuck stick. And then someone goes, you did Dancing with the Stars? I go, oh, yeah. But back when it was cool. But I. I started to realize I've done Dancing with the Stars, Celebrity Apprentice, the Masked Singer. Like, I've done a lot of.
Anthony Scaramucci
You did the Mask.
Adam Carolla
I did the Masked Singer. I could. I sung. You know, here's. Here's what it is here. I mean, I think we're all in the same karaoke boat here, which is. You can do your song, right? Like, if they would just let me. Let me do Vehicle by the Ides of March, then I would crush. But they don't. They can't clear every song. They pick. They pick the songs. I got Hit the Road Jack, which was my first song, which I could pull off. And then the second one, I don't think this is fair. This is. The second one was you're so vain, I think by, like, Carly Simon or something. It's like. Also, it's weird because I'm singing about a dude.
Anthony Scaramucci
How were you dressed? What'd you look like?
Adam Carolla
I was dildo man. I fought pretty hard for that outfit.
Anthony Scaramucci
So did you have eyes coming out.
Adam Carolla
Below the mushroom or, like, tell me I was an avocado? Yeah, because it makes sense, right? And the thing that's weird about it. Well, there's lots of weird stuff about being an avocado on tv. I was a giant avocado. And, you know, it's kind of weird, like, during rehearsal and stuff, it gets really hot in. Inside the avocado outfit. We've. We both had our trials and tribulations in terms of testing our. Testing our endurance and such heat, but they've, like, somebody put their hand up and hold a fan, like, you know, on your Face and stuff and. But the thing that's weird about the masked singer is nobody can know who you are. So you have to wear a hoodie and gloves and like a face shield and, and get out of the car. Like it's, it's probably like being one of Michael Jackson's kids or something, you.
Mike Dawson
Know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
Like I, you know, when you're nine, you know, like that's. You get out of that Cadillac and they put a black duvetyne over your head and somebody walks you into smoking bago, you know, but they, they. Everything is super top secret, even though it's stupid because I'm just playing an avocado and who gives a But yeah, I won my first round and then I lost my Carly Simon one where I was singing you're so vain. I think that, I think that's a song somebody. Andrew can look it up. But. Yeah, no, I mean, I think that's a song I, I had to sing and I was not good at it, but I wasn't good at Dancing with the Stars or Celebrity Apprentice. So I gotta, you know, it's kind of, kind of on a roll there, you know. Not good, not good, not good, not good.
Kyle Dunnigan
No Scaramucci, though, he's good.
Adam Carolla
The Mooch is good.
Kyle Dunnigan
Did you win? Was that like a thing?
Adam Carolla
Six. He made it six out of 10 days, right?
Anthony Scaramucci
It was the last non. I mean there were Olympic athletes in there and pro basketball player football. Danny Amendola, I remember.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, sure, sure.
Anthony Scaramucci
Great shape.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. It's not fair.
Anthony Scaramucci
The woman wanted Carly Lloyd. I don't know if you guys would recognize her name, but she was a gold medalist in the Olympic soccer team. And she, she was really, she was really good shape.
Adam Carolla
It's. It's not. So when I did dance it with the Stars, you're right, they. They need categories. You know what I mean? Like old white guys. Not going to compete with Christy Yamaguchi. You who I competed against in Dancing with the Stars. And we were a couple stories. One is Chrissy Yamaguchi's won a gold medal dancing but on ice, you know. I know. And like. And by the way, she has like a focus crazy like Tiger mom focus. You know what I mean? Like, we were backstage and I looked down at her dance shoes. It has like a strap that comes over and she had a knot on her ankle. Like a full blown. Not like, you know, like when you roll your ankle playing basketball and you don't ice it, you know, and it's like it was a. It was A mess. And she was competing. She was practicing like 12 hours a day, you know, and we were backstage and I looked down at this big knot on her. Her foot, and I go, oh, man, that's gotta hurt. And she goes, don't worry about it. And she walked away like there was like crazy.
Anthony Scaramucci
Should have put her up against Carli Lloyd.
Adam Carolla
That was like Olympic caliber, you know? You know how many times she had to push through an injury all the way through juniors and Olympic trials and everything. Rosetta Stone. Whether it's comedy or racing, I really love putting in the work and getting better at something. And that's why I enjoy Rosetta Stone. I can fit small lessons into the day and see real improvements fast. They have 30 years of experience and millions of users. Learn anytime, anywhere. Rosetta Stone fits your lifestyle with flexible on the go learning. And you'll sound natural with true accent, which gives you real time feedback on pronunciation. The lifetime membership gives you all 25 languages forever. Learn one now, pick another next year, no extra cost. It is Rosetta Stone, right, Dawson?
Mike Dawson
Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential now. ACS listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit RosettaStone.com Adam to get started and claim your 50% off today. Go to RosettaStone.com Adam and start learning today.
Pluto TV Announcer
Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.
Adam Carolla
This is the mindset. Free. This is the mantra free.
Pluto TV Announcer
This is with movies like Joe dirt, pixels and 51st days.
Adam Carolla
This is awesome.
Pluto TV Announcer
And TV shows like, like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents and Ghosts. Pluto TV is always free.
Adam Carolla
Huzzah.
Pluto TV Announcer
Pluto TV stream now pay. Never.
Adam Carolla
You're welcome. So we were, we were in. In limousines. We. We were doing Oprah. We. They put us in two separate limousines because they're like six and six of us. And we're going to go announce the cast on Oprah because they would do that back then. And we're driving in our limousine and people are talking because we just got there, like, who's going to win this thing? And I'm like, who's going to win this thing? Christy Yamaguchi is going to win this thing. And they're like, how do you know? And I go, what do I. How do I know? She's Olympic. She's got a gold medal. She dances on ice. And they go, yeah, but this isn't on ice. This is on hardwood. I said, okay, that's like, that's like saying, yeah, the guy can juggle on a unicycle, but let's see how he does on carpet. I'll bet he can do it. I'll bet he can pull it off on the carpet.
Anthony Scaramucci
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Yes, she's going to win. And so everyone's looking at me, and I go, well, she's gonna win. And. And I go, but there is one shot we have. Everyone sort of leaned into my limo, and I go, she's Japanese, and those people are notoriously lazy. And everyone just looked at me like, what the fuck? That bitch practiced 12 hours a day. And by the middle of the competition.
Anthony Scaramucci
You couldn't tell breaking out of a jigger.
Adam Carolla
She. She was better than her partner. Like, there's only. Who's going to be better than her? Their partner. She was. Because she's been doing it at this level since she was 5, right? I mean, the partner's great, but the partner doesn't have a gold medal. You know what I mean? So she.
Kyle Dunnigan
Did she win?
Adam Carolla
Oh, God, yes. God, yes. Literally, it's like the only time you saw in Dancing with the Stars where you couldn't tell who the celebrity was and who the. Who the professional was. And then there was another story. There was an. And you. We'll figure it out. Maybe Kyle. You guys are New York guys. One of the women, and I screw her name up every time was Christina, Winona Walker. Jabba. Whatever. She was in. She was in Hairspray. She was like, the chick. She was in Hairspray. I don't know. Maybe Andrew can look it up. She has, like, three names, and she was a Broadway girl, and she was, like, in Hairspray. And she was. She was a huge Dancing with the Stars fan, and so she was a bundle of nerves. Like, before the first dance. Before the first dance, you're just up in your head because there's 20 million people watching, and you're gonna look like. I mean, look, it's everyone's greatest fear to be out on a dance floor, like a wedding or something, looking like an asshole. Right? Okay, but that's. With 26 people. This is 20 million people critiquing you being a shitty dancer. You know? And so she. Marissa. Jarrett Winiker. Marissa Jarrett Winokker. Winker. Okay, I wasn't that far off, but close enough.
Kyle Dunnigan
He's a Jabba the Hut.
Adam Carolla
All right, so. So I swear. And you look up. Look up her health condition. You tell me. You tell me that she's a survivor of, like, ovarian cancer or Something which I know nothing of. I know nothing of all I know. And I won't step on it, but you just got to verify it. So she's a mess, and she's backstage, and she's like, clearly going out of her mind. And I think I'm going to offer up some soothing words of wisdom, right? And I'm looking for an angle. And I can't stand it when you're ball of nerves and someone goes, just have fun out there. Come on, have fun out there. It's like that. We're not gonna fun out there. I'm a brick back here, man. But it'd be like, if you're sitting next to someone who's scared shitless to fly and you want, come on, have fun up there. Come on, have fun up there. Like, that doesn't work. So I wanted to come up with something profound, you know what I mean? Versus have fun out there, you know? So I got done with my dance, and she was like, clearly out of her mind. And I just said to her, marissa. That's her name, right? I said, do we need a Melissa and a Marissa? But anyway, I think that's the white Anthony. You know what I mean? Like, the blacks have Anthony and Anthony. We have Melissa and Marissa, right? Touche, black people. I'd like to get Marissa hooked up with Anthony and have it go out for a super confusing date. You're Anthony. Anthony and Melissa. No, Marissa. Just a whole. And I hope they get married and have names, kids with confusing names. All right, so we're. We're backstage. She's a ball, a bundle of nerves, and I'm going to give her something profound. And I come up with something that I really like. I go, listen, everyone's telling you, have fun out there or forget about it, or, you know, just dance your cares away or something. I go, listen, it's. It's going to be profound. It's going to be a real experience. But I said to her, it's better than any experience you're ever going to have, because it's important. Like, anyone could just have fun out there, but have fun out there. You can do that at Knott's Berry Farm. This is important. This is a real. You want to be present for this. I said, when you have a kid, when you give birth, you're not having fun out there. You're not having fun, but would you miss it for anything? It's like, it's an important experience to be in it, live in it, breathe it, feel it, live it. Like childbirth and she goes, ah, I just had my tubes removed. I can't have kids. And Penn Jillette, who's about that tall, starts laughing like a maniac. Like, only an atheist can laugh, you know, like, he starts going nuts. And I'm like, really? You can't have kids? It was such a great. What did she have, Andrew? She had, like, cervical cancer. Okay. She had a radical radical hysterectomy. Right. Still had the stitches in when I gave her the childbirthing speech. Still sutured up with the whole speech about having kids that I was like. I was like, oh, Ace, man, this is your best one yet. She, by the way, I don't know if anyone's ever had a radical hysterectomy or anything. If I give you a speech about childbirth, just go got your boss and walk away. You don't have to explain to me you are dry as the Gobi desert. You don't have to tell me you can't have kids. You just go, thanks, Ace. And then go bathroom and cry. You don't have to tell me you can't have kids. I'm not gonna follow you around looking for, you know, a crowning. No, but she had to shoot me down and tell me she's incapable of having kids right in front of Penn Jillette, who's laughing his ass off.
Kyle Dunnigan
You were just doing an analogy. She didn't have to go. You were just trying to pump her up.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I was basically saying, this is an experience.
Anthony Scaramucci
How did she do?
Mike Dawson
Oh, that.
Adam Carolla
I hope she dies, man. I don't give a fuck. Hope she dies penniless and childless. Thank you. I don't know. She made it five dances in or something. She's not gonna beat the Gooch. The Yama Gooch. Come on. The Mooch. You should get together with the Gooch.
Kyle Dunnigan
The Mooch and the Gooch.
Adam Carolla
The Mooch and the Gooch. It'd be a great sitcom. You know, I got Rodney. Don't you think Mooch and the Gooch is a good movie?
Anthony Scaramucci
Dancing with the Stars. But my wife believes in castration. So I was like, oh, really? Not doing dancing.
Adam Carolla
It was funny.
Anthony Scaramucci
No way.
Adam Carolla
I ran into Geraldo Rivera many years ago at the. Backstage at. At Leno. Leno's. Wait a minute. Do you got a Leno in you?
Kyle Dunnigan
I don't think so. No, I don't think I did very.
Adam Carolla
I was. I was at the Tonight show, and I look, ran into Geraldo, and Geraldo was like, hey, man, dance with the stars. And then I go, yeah. And he goes, ah, they asked me to do it. And he go. And I go, oh, yeah, you should do it. And he goes, my wife won't let me. And I was like, oh, why not? The travel or whatever. And it's like, I'd probably one of the dancers. Like, his wife knows he's got some fucking mustachio Latin blood and him. And by the way, those dancers, that.
Anthony Scaramucci
Man, I can relate to that.
Adam Carolla
Oh, my God. I had. Let me. I had Julianne huff, who's like 19, smoke show. And I'm old, weird, you know, and. And like we're having a practice, you know, like day one, you know, and.
Kyle Dunnigan
How long is she?
Adam Carolla
She's about five seven, five eight.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah, you have to strap it down. Did you get excited?
Adam Carolla
I threw a tape on her. Yeah, I hung her up at the dock and we put a hook in her back. No, the first time we rehearsed, I was like, she was 19, you know, and. And I was like, oh, man, she's so hot, you know? And I'm like, okay. And she's like, put your arm around me and put the one around my back. And like, get in here. Like, get in. And I was like, okay, all right. Okay, I got you. And she's like, no, man, bring it in. You got to bring it in. And she was like. I was like, it's weird. Did you get.
Kyle Dunnigan
Did you get aroused at all? I mean, no one would blame you.
Adam Carolla
Making you put your penis. There are some who would blame me. I don't. I don't think. I know you have. I know it's not a formal consensus. You've taken Kyle. I think. I feel like there are some who would blame. I don't think there's nobody who would blame.
Kyle Dunnigan
You would be wrong, though.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. I feel like my wife at the time would have blamed me. I feel like some of the producers would have blamed me. Maybe Bruno, I don't know. But yeah, it was. It was difficult not to. And you, like, you pull it in and when they like get in here and it's like, oh, it's the dance of lovers, you know, you have to. We're doing the tango and stuff.
Kyle Dunnigan
A hot 19 year old says, mush your penis on my vagina. He would blame you for getting.
Adam Carolla
No, you're right, you're right. No. I could have raped her right there in that parquet and there wasn't a court in the land that would convict me. You're right. Kyle Dunnigan, you should have been a defense attorney. You really should have been. They're not a court in the land. Yep, yep. She shouldn't have asked me to come in tight if she didn't want any of that. Yeah, it was. Now it was weird because also when I was talking to her, I think she had won like the last two.
Kyle Dunnigan
Oh, you walked in and she was like, not two in a row.
Adam Carolla
She, I think she won two in a row. But she wasn't gonna three peat with the, with me. But she, it was funny. She's so hot, right? And so I go, well, how long were you practicing? Like at the end, you know, like when you get to the very end, you know. And she was, she'd go, oh, we were going like 13 hours a day. And it was Elio Castro Nev. As the indie driver. And, and I was like, 13 hours a day, man. That's a long practice dancing. And she goes, well, we would just sit and talk for hours. And I was like, oh yeah, Christ, he's wants to you. Like that's a. He's just sitting and talking. That's not practice.
Kyle Dunnigan
Anybody end up hooking up in your season?
Adam Carolla
You know, I, I got Winona Walker, whatever her name was. What I say her name was Marissa. I banged Marissa. I banged Marissa. Just bang that. Because I didn't want to pull out, you know, but I knew. No, I don't know. I don't.
Anthony Scaramucci
Herkovic married one of them, the Australian woman.
Adam Carolla
Oh, the Australian dancer. Right, right. She was hot. Yeah. People, you know, listen, it's bound to happen because you can't take really good looking people and mash them together and force them to sweat on one another for five hours a day for nine weeks without somebody falling in love. Like, it just, you can't, you can't do it. Like, even, even Patty Hearst got, after she got kidnapped, ended up, you know, getting down with the cause. You know what I mean? Like, it's, it's hard not to get down with the cause if you're mashed together for that, that period of time.
Kyle Dunnigan
So, yeah, can't blame them for the Patty Hearst thing.
Adam Carolla
You can't blame those guys for the, the sla. The symphony. Yeah, no, for raping Patty Hearst. No, no. What I'm saying, there, there is a Stockholm syndrome, which is sort of. But it's like if you're gonna take a virile dude. Not me, but Geraldo and Mash. Geraldo together with some chick who moves as amazing ass. How many hours are they gonna be together before they suggest going out for sushi after Practice. You know what I mean?
Kyle Dunnigan
Manly man like Geraldo Rivera.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Kyle Dunnigan
Real alpha male.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. A guy with a muscle type. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, I do think this. And I don't know where you guys come down on this, but look, in sports, we're looking for parity all the time, right? So you go, okay, there's no. In high school, there's no practice with pads on before September or something like that. You know, they go, you can't practice all year round. You can't. We're. We're looking for parity. And like automotive racing, if one car is whooping up on another car, eventually they'll add weight to that car just to make. They want everything to be even. Right. Because it makes the competition better. I was practicing about an hour and a half a day. Yamaguchi was doing 14 hours a day. She moved here from North Carolina to do the competition. I work full time doing a radio show, so. And doing everything else. So I got like two hours a day to practice. She's doing 10 hours a day. Not that she needs it, but she's doing anyway. But don't you think they should put a cap, like, they should go. You can do two hours for the first four dances, and then we'll up it to four, and then at the end it'll be whatever. But you can't just. Some people moved here, lived at the dance hotel, which is the gayest name for a hotel ever, and just practice 14 hours a day, then have anything else to do. I worked full time and had a wife and kids to ignore. I'm being honest. I didn't spend a lot of time with them, but I watched tv, but that was my own time. I unwind the way. Why?
Kyle Dunnigan
There is effort to ignore people. You have to pretend you're doing stuff.
Adam Carolla
There is some effort there to ignoring people. Yeah. Nothing. No, it's. It's. It's an act of love.
Kyle Dunnigan
Fake phone calls, right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Have you guys noticed that the phone. When you were on the phone back in the day, you were really on the phone? Like, you were holding a receiver up and it got you a lot of respect. Like, people would walk into the room and they'd be like, hey, Stan. Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah. And they back. They'd walk backwards. There was so much reverence for this phone. Yes. That they'd go, okay. Once in a while they do a little semi force and they go. Now I realize with the earbuds, it doesn't really count. It doesn't. Like, I've been like, I was at the gas station. They're like on the phone and someone. Hey, Ace, man. Hey, what's going on? I go, I'm on the phone, yo. Okay. Anyway, in the man show, season four, I'm like, I'm on the phone. Yeah, right. But he just starts out. Because it's not enough phone for them. It's like you're on half a phone. It's the same thing. You're talking to somebody else. I could be holding up this big block of plastic to my head, or I could have an earbud in. Because time moves on and technology marches forward. Now I can do this. But for you, it's the same thing. I'm talking to another person, but somehow it doesn't really count with the earbud. Is that a thing?
Kyle Dunnigan
Also the hanging up used to be a bit. You could really just slam the phone down if you're really push hard.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Like once in a while I'll go, I'll grab my earbud and I'll yell. I said, good day. And then I'll throw it on the ground. You know, you can't do anything.
Anthony Scaramucci
Buy you one of the. You can connect.
Adam Carolla
I've seen that.
Anthony Scaramucci
Those in. And so you can walk around now and have that.
Adam Carolla
You plug the old school receiver phone, right? Yeah. And it would be no good. Probably ruined a lot of movies. Like in Goodfellas, when De Niro's in the phone booth, you know, and he found out that Pesci got shot. He's like banging and he's buying. He's just pushing. You can't do that with your iPhone. Like. Like no actor's good enough to act with an iPhone. These scenes where the fucking chick dumps you and you're smashing thing on the phone. Or you're all. First off, phone booths were a big part of movies in the 70s. You'd be in there and somebody be standing outside and you go, buzz off. And they'd be, ray Man, Raymond, you looked it, right? There's like. It was always. There's a lot of phone related.
Kyle Dunnigan
Superman has to change. Like in front of everybody now, right?
Adam Carolla
Superman's gotta drop his shorts right on the sidewalk. Yeah, you're right. Also, the phone is like a power move too, because you'd have the thing on your desk. Like all the rich guys, all the rich bankers and stuff, with all the. All the. All the wood paneling and stuff. They'd lean in and they go, Mrs. Jenkins, send him in. And he'd go, all right. Then you lean back. It was a big thing to use that phone, to slam it, to change in it, to. I mean, think of the Goodfellas and many, many other movies where the phone. And now it's gone. It's all fucking earbud. Nobody cares. You can't act with an earbud.
Kyle Dunnigan
And it is. You go like this. Like, I'm on the phone. No one respects that.
Adam Carolla
You know what? You know what there needs to be. There needs to be a phone hat. You just put the hat on.
Kyle Dunnigan
That's a lot, though, to carry the hat around.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. It's cold outside. What's wrong with the phone hat? It's just. People know when you got the phone hat on to kind of steer clear. What about this?
Kyle Dunnigan
I go. If I'm like. Like I'm on the phone, I take it out and I go, huh?
Adam Carolla
Oh, that's the move.
Kyle Dunnigan
You see, I've had to take this out.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's the move. It's a move. We point at our. I point at my ear. That doesn't mean that much if they.
Kyle Dunnigan
Keep going at it. Take it out, huh?
Adam Carolla
But if you're wearing one of my phone hats, you're all good. I also had the idea for the asparagus hat. And everyone just goes, what do you need asparagus hat for? And I'll tell you why. Because I. I would. Many years ago, when we would do Loveline with Dr. Drew, we'd do it at 10 o' clock at night at Westwood One somewhere in Culver City. But it would happen all the time that I got on this kick, right? I'd boil up a whole pot of asparagus and eat it before I went into work. And Drew. Drew and I.
Anthony Scaramucci
You didn't do that tonight, did you?
Adam Carolla
No. Drew. Drew and I used to go to the bathroom together. When we did. When we did Loveline, like, we'd be sitting in the booth, we go to commercial, and I go, you gotta take a whiz. You go, I gotta take a whiz. I go, all right, let's go. We go down the hall to take a whiz. And this radio station would be dark at night and stuff. And it was a little radio station bathroom. And he pull up at the stall next to me and I'd start pissing. And then after like 10 seconds, he'd go, oh, come on. Oh. Because he got the asparagus. Which is. It's a weird thing. It's not. It's not gay, but it's. It's at least bi. You know what I mean? Like, I'm. I'm smelling your burnt offerings, you know, like it's like a kind of a. It makes you a little gay. It's a little gay.
Anthony Scaramucci
Did he want to touch it?
Adam Carolla
No, he, he would get hit with the asparagus and, and it would, he, it weirded him out. Like, it's not, it's a little bit gross, but it's more weird. Like the shit up the bathroom. There's like contacts for that, you know? Like, you come in and go, oh, Jesus Christ. And you leave. But the asparagus thing is, it's more intrusive. Like it's a violation, you know? He hated it. I would do it all the time, but. But mostly I would forget that I ate a bunch of asparagus like an hour and a half earlier before, before I came out. But I thought when you go to a restaurant, you should get an asparagus hat. So when you pull up to the urinal, people sort of clear out. You know, they give you, give you a wide berth. Right.
Kyle Dunnigan
It's a really good idea.
Adam Carolla
And it'd be reverse. I like that one better than the phone. It could be reversible. Be the phone hat. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, when you left the restaurant, you had to make a call. Like, you'd have the asparagus hat on whizzing, and then your phone would ring and you go, oh, this is important to call. And then you turn it inside out, and then that would be the phone hat.
Kyle Dunnigan
You have to put it on top because you still have the asparagus. You have to put both hats.
Adam Carolla
Oh, no, it's reversible. It's reversible.
Kyle Dunnigan
The asparagus piss. So you need both.
Adam Carolla
Well, no, I'm done peeing. And now I have an important phone call. Don't you understand? For my life.
Kyle Dunnigan
Okay, once you're done.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, once I'm done talking the phone at the same time, then I, I'm just in my scenario, all right, in my hypothetical through at all asparagus phone call piss world. I've just finished my piss when a super important call comes in.
Kyle Dunnigan
I'm imagining a giant hat, by the way. What does that look like? It's like a top hat.
Anthony Scaramucci
Like an Abe Lincoln hat.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, like stoveh. I, I think would be good. I, you know, I, I, I don't feel like a yarmul is visible enough. You know what I mean? Plus, in today's world, you know, I don't even know you know what's going on in the streets in New York with the amica. So I'm too much baggage with the amica. But yes, stovetop. I also think of a sort of a dunce cap. You know what I mean? Someone should bring the dunce cap back. Dunce camp is gone. Like somewhere there were dunce caps. There were two things. And there must be a place somewhere. Like there must be some giant graveyard somewhere. Like what they do with military aircraft. Like they just send them all out to Yuma, Arizona. There's millions of old mothballed fighter planes and shit like that. There must be a school, there must be a place where all the shit that used to be in schools is gone now. And there's probably a huge, a huge warehouse filled with dunce caps and ropes that people used to have to climb at the gym, right? Remember gym class?
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Homes.com well, some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps, just Perhaps, it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. I always use homes.com and you should, too. Homes.com that's homes.com. we've done your homework, O'Reilly. Yeah. Auto parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts. That's the business that keeps your car on the road, man. They offer friendly, helpful service and all the knowledge you need if you can't figure out why your car ain't running right. And sometimes I can't figure it out. Always. First stop, O'Reilly Auto Parts. They always know what's going on. They have thousands of parts in stock and can test your battery for free. Need wipers, a brake light, a quick fix? They'll get you the right part. Everyone who works there is knowledgeable and friendly. The professional parts people, O'Reilly, are your one stop shop for DIY auto stuff. You can do it in person or you can do it online. Am I right, Dawson?
Mike Dawson
Stop by at Riley Auto Parts today or Visit us@o'reillyauto.com. adam that's o'reillyauto.com Adam.
Adam Carolla
All right. No more ropes, right? And no more dunce caps. And I would argue the rope and the dunce cap kept us in line as a society. And now we got rid of the rope. So we got rid of the dunce caps and we got a whole bunch of kids that feel way too good about themselves because their self esteem is way too high because the dunce cap was never dawned. And the. The plan for the rope was like, hey, if. If fat Timmy can't make it up the rope, instead of him losing weight and getting a little upper body strength going, we'll just take the rope down. Yeah.
Kyle Dunnigan
We used to use shame.
Adam Carolla
Shame.
Kyle Dunnigan
Motivate people to be not stupid or not fat.
Adam Carolla
That's right. It worked. It did. Listen, you can now. Now there's no more shaming and everyone's fat and can't climb a rope and dumb.
Kyle Dunnigan
Right.
Adam Carolla
That's where we're at now. I. I'm telling the Michael Strahan, New York's own. Okay. I don't know. I thought maybe a better reaction, like, I won a Super bowl for your, but all right. In Greats. Who cares? Michael Strahan grew up on, like, a military base, and he was always fat. And they teased him. They teased him. They always teased him about being fat. And like, one day when he was like 13 or 14, he said, no more like, he can't take it anymore. And he just started lifting weights and stop eating fudge brownies, you know? And he turned into Michael Strahan because he was shamed. But if we punish the kid who made fun of Michael Strahan, then Michael strahan would be £700 right now, no super bowl rings, and definitely not on the Today show or whatever the fuck show he's on.
Kyle Dunnigan
I will make this argument. The dunce cap didn't do that. Like, you just weren't. You didn't, like, become not an idiot.
Anthony Scaramucci
Did you ever wear a dunce cap?
Kyle Dunnigan
Many a time, yes. In school. I actually don't think we had an actual dunce cap at our school. Did you?
Adam Carolla
We. No, we had. We do a lot of moving people around, like stand in the hall, take your desk and face the wall. Like, there's a lot of movement. You know what I mean? I never really got the punishment part of the movement. You know, like, it's. It's always like they go, you guys didn't go to.
Anthony Scaramucci
I mean, you never got whacked with a.
Adam Carolla
You got whacked. You got whacked.
Anthony Scaramucci
Oh, my God.
Adam Carolla
Cuz. You go to, like, a Catholic school.
Anthony Scaramucci
Yeah, I only made it for one year. I had to go back to the I mean, they whack you with the pointer, pull your hair, pull your hair out of the, out of the chair.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really? So they got physical with you.
Anthony Scaramucci
Oh, my God.
Adam Carolla
But you look like a smart ass.
Anthony Scaramucci
No, they used to kick my ass. I. By the way, it probably saved me from getting molested because I got the.
Kyle Dunnigan
Hell out of here.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you were like, you were like one some. You were like one semester away from a cornhole.
Anthony Scaramucci
You know how to make a nun pregnant, right? Dress her up as an altar boy?
Adam Carolla
Oh, listen, Marissa, Winona Walker did not think that was funny. Not in my club, buddy. No, actually, the movie. Okay, I'll tell you so experience. I would. They didn't hit you where I went. They would just like I said, they'd move you, go the hall, stand in the back, face the wall, you know, and the moving thing was ever punishment. Like, I, like, I always feel the same way. They go, this cop shot that unarmed black teenager and he's been suspended with pay. It's like, that sounds like the best day of my life. Suspended with pay. It's not punishment. We do it all the time. The teacher molested the kid. He's been suspended with pay. Like, suspended with me. That's called a vacation. That's what you do. You accumulate those days so you can go to Aruba. It's not, it's, that's not punishment. Go home. Who amongst us wouldn't want to just go home and get paid? Yeah, like, it's, it's not so, like moving around. I never really, I never really got the punishment part of, of because they wanted to hit us, but they probably, they probably couldn't. And also, I was in, I was in la, so we're like a little more, I don't know, we weren't, weren't old school, sort of, you know, east coast kind of kind of thing. But I will say this about the mooch over here. And I don't know if you guys thought about this, but I've thought about it. Some guys have a face where you can tell what they look like when they were nine. And that's you there. But it's like one, you know, one out of every 26 guys you go, I know what you look like when you're nine. What is that? But you know what I'm talking about because you look like. I know. I, I. If you showed us a picture of.
Anthony Scaramucci
You, would you smack me?
Adam Carolla
You, you have, you have a smackable. You have a smackable face. Yeah, but like, Kyle, I don't really know what you look like when you're.
Kyle Dunnigan
Looked very different when I was younger.
Adam Carolla
Right. But you know the mooch. Look at him.
Kyle Dunnigan
Absolutely.
Adam Carolla
You absolutely know what he looked like when he was nine. Right.
Anthony Scaramucci
So with the brill cream and so you.
Adam Carolla
Let's see, your dad was a crane operator right.
Anthony Scaramucci
Out on Long Island.
Adam Carolla
I don't know building, I mean it's got to be commercial stuff, right?
Anthony Scaramucci
Sand. So Long island is basically a glacial deposit. And so on the north shore of Long island they had all these big sand embankments. He, he, he had a heavy crane digging out the sand and you put them on conveyor belts, get them out to the barges and you take them over here to Long Island City to make concrete.
Adam Carolla
Did, did he like his job?
Anthony Scaramucci
No, I don't. I think he hated his job. 40, 41, 41 years doing it.
Adam Carolla
41 years doing a job.
Anthony Scaramucci
By the way, when you're looking at the weather today, you're in that crane every two hours. You got to get out of the cabin and you have to grease the cables and you have to make sure that there's a safety check every two hours. So he did that and pull that mic up.
Adam Carolla
Sorry.
Anthony Scaramucci
Sorry. No, he, he passed away a few years ago. But he was tough as an ox. I mean, he was a chain smoker, a drinker. If there was a cannoli inside a six foot perimeter of his body and entered the body, you know, and he was, he was a no bullshit guy. But that was a really tough job and I think about it a lot. In fact, when I got my first job, my father was like, you better never complain about your job. And I'm like, why is that, Bobby? Because you're indoors.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Anthony Scaramucci
You're out of direct sunlight and there's no heavy lifting. And don't forget that about your job. No matter how bad the day is going, you're not outside. Like some of these guys particularly think of the weather. Your last couple.
Adam Carolla
Listen, every job I had was outside before I got into radio. And you don't know, just these, just the, the simple pleasure of having a chair. Like when you work construction, which I did for all those years, lunch comes around and you sit on a pile of drywall. You sit on a pile of dry. There are no chairs in the entire place and there's no phone and there's no bathroom. I mean, there's a porta potty, which was always great because in, in LA it would say Mexican space shuttle on the outside of it, which I enjoyed. It's not like A little racism when I'm having a movement, you know what I mean? So, and then when you got inside, I always love it. I said Mexican space shuttle on the outside. Then when he got on the inside, inside they had the seat liners, it would say free cowboy hats. That was, that was. But you would, you would eat on a pile of plywood or drywall or whatever, and whatever the temperature was, that's just what it, what it was. That's how, what you lived in, that's what you, that's what you ate in. That's what you worked in. So like just the notion of having like a kitchenette with a coffee pot in it or something like that in a, in a, in a chair with wheels on it and a desk and windows and stuff, that's like a, that's a big bump up for dudes who do the outdoor stuff. And people go, oh, it's so boring. Or you're sitting in your cubicle or whatever. But this, you have air conditioning in the, in the summer, you have heat in the winter and it's like, at least you're not dying out there.
Anthony Scaramucci
Look, they're tough jobs. I, I, I will say this. He never complained about it, but you know, my mother would put his lunch pail in the refrigerator. He would leave the house at 330 in the afternoon. I'm sorry, 330 in the morning. He'd come home at 330 in the afternoon. And let me tell you something, Adam, if, if you didn't have sports at 5:15, if you weren't at that dinner table, you were getting hit with something, man. I mean, you were getting, you get hit with a glass.
Adam Carolla
Really? He was ready to eat a wooden spoon. But you had a, and your mom made him lunch.
Anthony Scaramucci
My mom made him lunch and dinner. Yep.
Adam Carolla
There used to be something. There used to be old school.
Anthony Scaramucci
My grandmother too.
Adam Carolla
You know, there was an agreement, there was an agreement in the past, which is if the dude pays for everything, he gets something in return. Now we just pay for everything and get called a rich white ass. That's, but that's a, I, I was.
Anthony Scaramucci
Literally privilege, white privilege.
Adam Carolla
I was, you know what? I was talking to Dr. Drew. What was I talking to? I was talking to him yesterday and we were discussing how we've ruined women as a society, you know, because women, let's face you guys gone nuts. You, you were, you've, you're completely unhinged. Every time I pick up my phone as someone, white chicks having a meltdown about ice. You know, you have to Go through me first. It's, it's also, it's like, who you, Conan the warrior? You're fat from Minnesota. We'll go right through you. You know what I mean? Be. It'd be like you being a, A Steelers fan in the 70s and yelling at Earl Campbell, you want to score, you got to go through my fat ass. Like, okay, he will. He'll. He'll gladly go right over you. So women have gone nuts. And we were sort of discussing this, and we're like, what the happened? And what happened was is we let them go nuts. We needed to keep them in check. And I did my darndest, gentlemen. I tried, but you guys dropped the ball because you wanted sex or your pee whipped or I don't know what you did wrong, but you let them all go nuts. And I, I said something a million years ago to my ex wife, okay? It didn't last, but I said to her this. And everyone thought I was a fucking pariah because I announced it on the radio, but everyone thought I was a world class douche. It was like the year was like 2003. And I came home from. I worked like five jobs and we're living in this huge Spanish house above Lake Hollywood in la, and. And I literally built half the house. I made the gates myself and the whole big long driveway with the electronic gates and everything. And we were sitting there and I go, what are we gonna do some. What are we gonna do for dinner? And then we're like, oh, we'll get Indian food. All right, let's do Indian food. And then I said, all right, well, go pick up the Indian food. And she goes, why do I have to pick it up? Why can't you go pick it up? And I said, get into the Jaguar that I lease. You go down the driveway that I paid for, go through the gates that I built, go to the Indian place, get out the credit card that I pay for, get the Indian food and bring it back up to your mansion.
Anthony Scaramucci
And that worked out well.
Adam Carolla
No, everyone thought I was. Everyone thought I was a douchebag. But cover. Take cover. Well, we them, because we're were like, oh, yes, your highness, I'll put a butt plug in and go get the food myself. And now you're ruined because they're all drunk with power. They needed a little tug on the leash. Just a little like 2007, just a little tug on the leash for the ladies, you know, just to kind of get them back walking at a good pace, you know, that's all. Just A little leash tug.
Kyle Dunnigan
The spike in the. Like the leash with the spikes in them?
Adam Carolla
No, no, but like a shock collar. Yeah, yeah, of course. You don't want him getting out of the yard, do you?
Mike Dawson
Look at.
Adam Carolla
Out of the yard. You'll have a lawsuit on your hands.
Anthony Scaramucci
I can feel my balls going up to my kidneys.
Adam Carolla
No, I'm saying we decided. We decided we need more women in positions of power. We need more women there. We'd be living in a utopia if only. Only women ran everything. And now we're. And it's our fault, gentlemen. Should have tugged that leash just a little bit. And by the way, it's good for them. They like it better that way. Oh, yeah, they need it. That's right.
Kyle Dunnigan
They were happier.
Adam Carolla
You got to crate train them. I'm just saying, we said, go do whatever the fuck you want and don't listen to anyone ever. And they all went nuts, that's all. And they do it, you know, we need to do. This is my idea. Bring back the core set. Yes, because when you're all strapped up in a corset and, you know you got whale bone going down there, and imagine you get the corset and these women wouldn't get 20 seconds into their fucking ice rant, you know what I mean? They'd be like, you hit Larian. Shit. I can't breathe. Donald Trump. If I see him, I'm gonna run him over. I'm winded. I'm going back inside. I'm gonna finish this later. They would faint. They'd faint. They'd faint. Somebody invented a corset because we knew they were going nuts.
Anthony Scaramucci
You like the corset over the burqa or no?
Adam Carolla
I like to combine the burqa. You're right. Let's get some cultures going. Let's get going with the win going along. Along with the Arabian Nights, you know what I mean? Let's put them both together. I'll tell you what I like. I like. I like the corset because they. They run out of wind real fast. Yeah, The. The burqa, because we can't really hear them yelling, you know, because I got the thing on. Then those old timey boots with the huge heel on it that laced all the way up because that huge heel, you can't go bum rush and ice officer with those things. And then the big petticoat with the thing on it where it's like, take. Oh, and. And a train. The thing that drags behind him. So you need like four behind you all the Time that would stop this madness. They couldn't go out in sub zero temperatures and yell at ice guys with all that on.
Anthony Scaramucci
White House has a suggestion box. You should put that in the box.
Adam Carolla
I put that in the box.
Anthony Scaramucci
Put the whole thing.
Kyle Dunnigan
Asparagus hat or is that asparagus hat?
Adam Carolla
No, Yeah, a bonnet. Possibly a bonnet of something Kennedy would.
Anthony Scaramucci
Go with for the asparagus hat. I think he would like that.
Adam Carolla
Kennedy would love it. Yeah, yeah, I'm actually. Oh, I'm gonna be. Yeah, I'm going out to the Trump Kennedy Center. I'll be there on Saturday night. Yeah, I don't know if Bobby. Oh, you know. Oh, no, Bobby, he, he texted me, he said, I want to come out. And then they said, I can't. Can't do it. Yeah, sorry. Junior Kennedy Jr. You're close to him like that.
Kyle Dunnigan
You got Bobby.
Adam Carolla
Oh, no, sorry, sorry. Okay, so it's a weird thing. So I did get hit up by his people and say he wants. Now I have his number. Yeah, I've talked to him. I did his comedy event in like la. He's a cool dude. Went to his birthday party and stuff. So I said, you can come, come out and come to the show Saturday night. And then it turned out he couldn't because he. He has to do push ups.
Rogelio Martinez (Long Beach Mayor Candidate)
He.
Adam Carolla
What he does is he takes a huge piece of brisket and he puts it on the ground. Raw, bloody brisket. And he just fucking puts his wranglers on, you know what I mean? Takes his shirt off like Billy Jack and just does. He calls him brisket ups. He. He goes in, he takes one bite of raw red meat, he comes back up, then he comes back down again and he can either do £100 or £3.
Kyle Dunnigan
I do that with a dead bear on my back.
Adam Carolla
What, what's that, Bobby?
Kyle Dunnigan
I put a dead bear on my back.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you put the bear. Oh, shops. Oh, the Central park bear.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah, I get that bear and just gives me more resistance.
Adam Carolla
You take a dead bear and you put on your back.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah, that's how I get the pump.
Adam Carolla
You know, should do the roadkill push ups.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah. And I put the whale. Had the.
Adam Carolla
Oh, the whale. That's right, the whale. So you do. And you'll, you'll do the brisket bite.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah, the brisket push ups.
Adam Carolla
Uhhuh.
Kyle Dunnigan
Bear on my back and a whale bone around my neck.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Hey, I want to personally thank you for getting all that food dye out of the food. You know what I mean? Like, I appreciate that.
Mike Dawson
Yeah.
Kyle Dunnigan
And you saw my New. The new food chart that I recommend.
Adam Carolla
I saw. I saw the pyramid. It had brisket on top.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah, Brisket, beef, raw meat, bear, bear, whale, whale. Under the bear.
Adam Carolla
That's right. Was right underneath that.
Kyle Dunnigan
And then under is roadkill. Roadkill meat just rotting on our streets for no reason.
Adam Carolla
Right, right.
Kyle Dunnigan
All that meat.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And.
Kyle Dunnigan
And at the bottom are vegetables.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. If you're.
Kyle Dunnigan
If you're bored.
Adam Carolla
If you're bored. Right. So you know something? So we go brisket, elk, buffalo, bear, dead whale, dead whale, roadkill. Right.
Kyle Dunnigan
And if you want. I don't. You can have a carrot if you want. I guess.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. You would.
Kyle Dunnigan
The vitamins are. Are in Road cow.
Adam Carolla
I forgot. You did Poppy Kennedy. Yeah, he's a good. He a good dude. And I went to his birthday party and what's her name it up, because the party was. Oh, Alicia Silverstone. Is that her? I get her, right?
Anthony Scaramucci
The actress. The actress, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Alicia. Do we need Alicia and Alicia name. Yeah, she. She was in charge of the food and she's a vegan. Yeah, Big time. Big time. Book. Yeah. Oh, she got a vegan book. Okay, can I. Can I. Let me just say this. I. There's stuff I like, you know, like, I'm a Rams fan, but if I threw a party, I wouldn't insist everyone show up in a Rams jersey. That's my thing. You know what I mean? Like, I don't. They'll foist it on everybody. But the vegans, they foist on everyone. And the thing about vegan food is it's good now. Not tasting, but it looks good. So then you come up on the vegan food and you're like, oh, we got sliders happening. This is going to be awesome. I love a slider. And then you load your plate up with sliders, and then you sit down and you take that bite and you're like, there's a weird slider, but that's not the one. All right, let's try it. And then you start to realize, oh, this is not beef. This is Tofurky mush beans. Right? So then I was like, oh, the beef is all vegan. God damn it. But all this amazing sushi comes out, and I'm like, okay, you can't sushi up. And I go grab some sushi. It's vegan sushi, too.
Kyle Dunnigan
What's that made with?
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay, that is like avocado and. No, no, no, no, no. It's simulated. Like, they literally have kelp mixed with gelatin and Weird pink dye to make some weird kind of salmon bullshit. And it just tastes like shit. It's got to be way worse than salmon is for you because salmon is good for you. And also, just let me just say this. There's 80 people at the fucking party. I don't know how many are fucking vegan. But I, and I'll say this, the same with the Jews. When they do the thing and they go put the yarmulke on that. I'm not wearing a yarmulke. I'm not eating your fake food. I'm a American. I like. I like elk. I like push ups. I like Ram pickup trucks. I'm not into your. So even the sushi was ruined by the vegan as well, so there was nothing to eat, so I was like. But, but vegan sushi looks amazing because they synthesize it and it looks better. It's basically like, you know how like a sex robot from Japan looks better than your girlfriend? Yeah, yeah.
Kyle Dunnigan
You know, I, I went on two dates with Alicia Silverstone.
Adam Carolla
You did?
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah, we made out in my car. And I'm just saying that because I, I think it sounds cool.
Adam Carolla
She's hot. Yeah.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah.
Anthony Scaramucci
Why didn't it work out?
Kyle Dunnigan
Well, first of all, I don't think she was into me, but also we. We're not connecting. She's really nice, but she's kind of like a, like a 10 year old or something. It's like talking like a 10 year old a little bit.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Kyle Dunnigan
She doesn't listen to the show.
Adam Carolla
No, no, not. I'm with you. Like, I want a 13 year old. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm not going to a 10 year old. Give me a break. A 13. 14.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah, kind of. She's childlike. Childlike Child childlike a little bit. And. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And where the do you go to dinner with her? She's like, I'll have some bean curd and a shot of wheat grass. Like what?
Kyle Dunnigan
You wanted to go to a tea? Like we did an afternoon tea.
Pluto TV Announcer
Oh.
Adam Carolla
Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's super gay.
Kyle Dunnigan
Like a drinks was another thing. Like a he did drinks.
Anthony Scaramucci
Yeah, but she drinks though.
Kyle Dunnigan
Drinks. Drank a little bit. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
How. And how did this come about? Because, you know, she's, she's. We've seen her.
Kyle Dunnigan
It was on an app. Oh, dating app called.
Adam Carolla
Oh, was Raya.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah, I'm not on that anymore. Yeah, yeah, she's on this day.
Adam Carolla
Rye is like a celebrity dating app where you have to be a, A celebrated comedian or comedian or an aerospace Video. Yeah, it's one or the other. It's only. People have been in Aerosmith videos and heralded comedians. Wow. It's two dates.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah. And she kisses like this.
Adam Carolla
It's all. That's vegan mouth.
Kyle Dunnigan
Yeah, she. Vegan mouth. Yeah. She was sweet, though. She's nice.
Adam Carolla
She's hot. How long ago was this?
Kyle Dunnigan
Five years ago, maybe two, 20, 19. Huh.
Adam Carolla
And did. And she knew who you were?
Kyle Dunnigan
Oh, I mean, doesn't everybody?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I mean, you're. You're celebrated, right?
Kyle Dunnigan
She actually knew a friend of mine, so she did actually know of me, someone that I was friends with.
Adam Carolla
All right.
Kyle Dunnigan
She knew I was like a safe person.
Adam Carolla
She knew of you. All right. All right. Well, if you do see her again.
Kyle Dunnigan
Not because of my work on the Adam Carolla Show.
Adam Carolla
If you, if you, if you. We got a fire here, people. Now if you. I had. I had the smoke detector go off at like 4am like, is there some. Listen, I don't believe in a higher power or a God, but there is some force that. That says, look, in terms of smoke detectors going off with the low battery thing and. Or earthquakes. They all must happen between 2:45am and 4:00am Whatever it is. Corolla has to be disoriented. Nobody. There's no earthquake at noon. Where I go, okay, I know exactly what's going on. It's me dreaming about a giant huffing and puffing or something and then getting out, tripping up with a boner going, what's going on? Like that. And the smoke detector. There's no smoke such thing as that battery going south. There's no such thing as me coming home from work going, oh, the smoke detector needs to change. It's always 4am and I don't even know what to do with it. And I ended up literally just throwing it out. Like, I chucked it out the back of the back of my house. Because. Angry, agitated. Also, there's a weird thing where it's. It's 200 decibels, but you can't really place it, which is weird. Like, you get up and you go, no, it's not that. It's in the. It's the kitchen. It's in the kitchen. It's not this one. And also there's a weird thing too, which is the thing goes off to tell you it makes a 200 decibel chime every 30 seconds because the battery is low, but it will do it for seven years. So how fucking low is that battery? How low is the battery? The three years this has been going on. Really? You could have saved it all for one fire, but no. All right, Kyle Dunnigan, everybody put your hands together. Thank you.
Anthony Scaramucci
Great to be here.
Adam Carolla
And Anthony Scaramucci, everybody put your hands together. Thanks, you guys for coming out tonight. I do appreciate you.
Mike Dawson
You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the Ace man at AdamCorola.com.
Pluto TV Announcer
Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.
Adam Carolla
This is the mindset free. This is the mantra free.
Pluto TV Announcer
This is the with movies like Joe dirt, pixels and 50 first dates, this is awesome. And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the fairly odd Parents and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free.
Adam Carolla
Huzzah.
Pluto TV Announcer
Pluto TV stream now pay never.
Adam Carolla
You're welcome.
Pluto TV Announcer
Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.
Adam Carolla
This is the mindset free. This is the mantra free.
Pluto TV Announcer
This is with movies like Joe dirt, pixels and 50 first dates, this is awesome. And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the fairly odd Parents and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free.
Adam Carolla
Huzzah.
Pluto TV Announcer
Pluto TV stream now pay never.
Adam Carolla
You're welcome.
Episode: Scaramucci Talks Catholic School + Dunnigan Does His Best Impressions Yet
Date: February 2, 2026
Recorded Live at Rodney's Comedy Club, New York City
Guests: Kyle Dunnigan, Anthony Scaramucci
This episode blends Adam Carolla’s signature rants on culture and society with sharp comedic interplay as he’s joined by impressionist Kyle Dunnigan and former White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci. Recorded live in New York, the show covers everything from political absurdity and pop culture to tales from reality TV, all delivered with irreverent wit and candid, often provocative banter.
“How beautiful can it be? You have over 40 gangs.”
— Adam Carolla, satirizing the Long Beach mayoral candidate [05:13]
“Maybe if rape was an Olympic sport.”
— Adam Carolla, lampooning awkward diversity narratives [14:31]
“Schoolteachers are the fucking worst, right? They’re all pieces of liberal shit. And I learned that during COVID.”
— Adam Carolla on cultural shifts in trust for institutions [22:24]
“Just fix the fucking transmission. Teachers just fucking teach.”
— Adam Carolla, on activism shoehorned into education [24:30]
“If you ever get invited to do Special Forces, do not do Special Forces.”
— Anthony Scaramucci, warning about reality show extremity [34:00]
“He looks like an action figure, but he’s really like an inbred poodle.”
— Adam Carolla, on Dr. Drew’s fitness vs. health [44:45]
“She was practicing 12 hours a day... crazy Tiger Mom focus.”
— Adam Carolla, describing Christy Yamaguchi’s drive [51:32]
“They needed a little tug on the leash. Just a little tug on the leash for the ladies.”
— Adam Carolla, provocatively riffing on gender and tradition [92:14]
“We ruined women as a society … What happened was we let them go nuts.”
— Adam Carolla, on shifting gender dynamics [89:21]
“Even Patty Hearst … after she got kidnapped—ended up, you know, getting down with the cause.”
— Adam Carolla, riffing on Stockholm syndrome and DWTS chemistry [66:40]
“Vegan food is good now. Not tasting, but it looks good.”
— Adam Carolla, at Alicia Silverstone’s vegan party [98:26]
The episode is candid, unsparing, and often irreverent—with rapid-fire exchanges and recurring themes of nostalgia, skepticism of social change, and biting, self-deprecating humor. Adam Carolla’s distinctive voice—at once aggrieved, logical, and mischievous—anchors the conversation, while guest impressions (via Kyle Dunnigan) and Scaramucci’s streetwise tales flesh out the neurotic, blue-collar meets celebrity edge of the show.
This summary captures the episode’s major themes, zingers, and memorable segments—a must-read for anyone wanting the full flavor of Adam Carolla’s world without having listened.