The Adam Carolla Show

Episode: “Sperm Bank Horror Story” with Adam Ray

Date: November 6, 2025

Episode Overview

In this hilarious and unfiltered episode, Adam Carolla is joined in the studio by comedian Adam Ray and newsman Rudy Pavich. True to its title, the show dives deep into awkward stories and social commentary, with a standout segment about Adam Ray’s mortifying sperm bank experience. The conversation ranges from the comedy of recording mishaps, reflections on pop culture, generational changes in adult entertainment, to sharp takes on current events and gender politics. Throughout, Carolla’s classic rants and banter keep the pace lively and irreverent.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recording Mishaps and Comedy Life (02:59–09:10)

• The episode starts with Adam Ray sharing an anecdote about performing with Dana Carvey, only to have a new tech fail to record the show. This segues into broader reflections on mistakes, accountability, and the inability to yell at people in modern society.

• Adam Carolla: "I said, hey, fix it. I, like, do a good job. And then as I was walking away, I heard a woman go, there's no pleasing Adam... There is a version. There is a pleasing me. You can fucking just do the thing I told you to do, and then I shall be pleased." (05:08)

• Adam Ray: On club techs: "...You can't just rely on the club. Even if they are like, we have a three camera set up. You're like, two of them always probably don't work right." (04:51)

• The guys agree: no matter how successful you get in show business, things always get screwed up behind the scenes.

2. Language Oddities & “Shit” Idioms (09:10–13:40)

• The panel riffs on strange common sayings involving “shit,” dissecting idioms like “don’t bullshit a bullshitter,” “shit rolls downhill,” and “don’t shit where you eat,” poking holes in their logic.
• Carolla: “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter is up there with, I’ll see you in hell. Just… Okay, so you’ll be in hell for some time before I arrive. What did you do?” (09:33)
• Ray: “If you’re going to a place and you hear about a creek filled with shit… Whatever shit you get covered in—whatever feces disease… is on you.” (10:46)
• Pavich: “Flight attendants might be the best example. They’re closest to the bathroom aside from the pilots and the snacks. Another one is, they're only shitting and eating.” (11:53)

3. Pop Culture, Costco, and the Lost Importance of Magazine Covers (16:55–27:57)

• The trio recalls the time magazine and catalog covers meant something, sharing stories of their own and celebrities’ awkward magazine moments.
• Carolla: “It was one of the realizations I knew my dad wasn’t a fan of mine…” (22:11) — tells a story about his dad seeing him on a magazine cover, showing zero interest.
• The discussion includes how fame is more diluted now, and how getting on a cover used to be a significant milestone.

4. Generational Stories: Pre-Internet Porn & Raft Box Girls (27:57–31:54)

• Nostalgia abounds as Adam and Rudy recall pre-Internet smut, using product boxes or trashy magazines for material, and how kids nowadays "have it easy."
• Carolla: “Us having to whack off to raft box porn, that’s kind of our story to pass on to the next generation. Like, you kids, you got it good.” (30:46)
• Ray: “I feel like I got a pretty creative mind…but, man, when it comes to just, like, using the imagination, can’t do it.” (31:08)

5. Feature Segment: Sperm Bank Horror Story (31:54–51:05)

• Adam Ray gives a play-by-play of his uncomfortable visit to a sperm bank:
  • Dated porn selection (all DVDs, no DVD player).
  • No provided lotion, only soap.
  • Queasy conversation with a staffer after he jokes about “Air Bud.”
  • Awkward logistics of providing both urine and semen samples ("can't come around my pee" (33:17)).
• Memorable exchange:
  • Ray (to staffer): “Do you have Air Bud?”
    • Staffer, misunderstanding the bit, suggests they don't carry that kind of (bestiality) material. (34:32–35:14)
  • Carolla: “If you actually beat off to Air Bud... you have a still from the filming of Air Bud that’s in your back pocket, crumpled up, that you pull out. But you would never ask, like, the Terminator, ‘Have you seen this boy?’” (39:03)
• They riff on optimal “acceptable” time spent in the room providing a sample, and logistical and emotional challenges men face in clinics designed largely by and for women.
  • Carolla: “There is a thing that all doctors and all facilities need to understand... For others, it’s weird and it’s sensitive…They should give you a room that has like, padding, acoustic padding inside, and like double doored, like a studio.” (41:01)
  • Discussion of “stand up vs. backjacker techniques,” with laughs over men’s masturbation rituals and awkward physical settings.

6. “Kill the Boner” Stories (63:04–66:48)

• The panel shares personal stories about suppressing erections at the worst times:
  • Carolla details killing an accidental boner before a doctor’s exam by dropping down for push-ups:
    • “I just have never worked out and had a boner. And so it worked.” (64:18)
  • Pavich tells a tale about an accidental public display after a goodbye hug with his girlfriend.

7. News, Woke Politics, and Social Group Lumping (70:39–84:12)

• Rudy jumps into the news with a story on friction within the LGBTQ community and broader issues of lumping disparate groups together for political purposes.

• Carolla: “Was this ever gonna work where you take, like, eight separate groups and just put them all in one and go, that I represent all you?... They have different teams, they have different jerseys…” (71:02)

• Lively debate on Minnesota politics, mall demographics, and cultural differences.

• Critique of “gyno-fascism”—Carolla’s term for progressive political environments run predominantly by women:

  • “We decided it’d be a good idea if ladies ran everything. And it turns out they’re fucking things up up. Because they have a different brain than we have. ... There needs to be a little more testosterone mix in there.” (79:39–84:12)

• More riffs on ceremonial feminism, “addicted to love” music videos, and political optics.

8. Iconic One-Hit Wonders and the Fate of Jared Fogle (89:41–101:13)

• Long, comedic segment speculating about Jared Fogle’s post-prison career and the possibility of “Fat Jared” returning as a fast-food spokesman.
  • Carolla: “I’ve always said for a million years he should just be the spokesperson for Quiznos. ... We got a pedophile and he’s put the weight back on from eating our sandwiches because they’re so good. And that’s how confident we are in our product.” (100:00)
• Trivia and laughs over Lou Bega (“Mambo No. 5”), the Gin Blossoms, and Stone Temple Pilots.

9. Event Plugs and Farewells (101:13–end)

• Adam Ray, Rudy Pavich, and Adam Carolla share upcoming tour dates and promote their projects.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Adam Ray (Sperm bank story):

  • “I go, a lot of movies. He goes, is everything good? You got it? He goes, you got enough? And I go, do you got Air Bud?... The guy goes, oh, we do have… I don’t know if we have stuff like that.” (34:25–35:14)

• Adam Carolla (On mishaps):

  • “We did an entire live podcast, hour and a half long, out of the Belly Up out San Diego way, and none of it was recorded. Jesus. And it was a whole episode.” (07:46)

• Carolla on progressive cabinets:

  • “If I just said, look, I’m gonna go up there with five swinging cocks, someone would tap me on the shoulder and go, you gotta put a chick up there.” (81:40)

• Carolla on generational divides in porn:

  • “I had to walk to school in the snow… Us having to whack off to raft box porn, that’s kind of our story to pass on to the next generation. Like, you kids, you got it good. You don’t know how we had it.” (30:46)

Important Timestamps

• 02:59 – Main show starts; intros and showbiz gripes
• 09:10 – Deep dive on idioms about “shit”
• 16:55 – Costco covers, celebrity magazine discussions
• 27:57 – Pre-Internet porn stories, raft box girls
• 31:54 – “Sperm Bank Horror Story” begins (feature segment)
• 41:01 – Carolla rants about clinic design and male discomfort
• 51:05 – Team transitions to broader news discussions
• 70:39 – News segment on LGBTQ politics and group dynamics
• 79:39 – Rant: “gyno-fascism” and gender quotas in politics
• 89:41 – Nostalgic reflection on 80s/90s models, one-hit wonders, and speculations about Jared Fogle’s future
• 101:13 – Tour plugs, show wrap-up

Tone & Style

• Loose, irreverent, quick-witted: Classic Adam Carolla; punchlines punctuate rants; Adam Ray’s storytelling keeps the laughs rolling; Rudy Pavich’s news reads ground the show with just enough real-world relevance.
• Candid, unfiltered humor: Touches on uncomfortable topics without apology (beware: adult language and themes).
• Nostalgic and observational: Show balances nostalgia for pre-digital days with incisive contemporary commentary.

This episode is packed with classic Carolla “guy talk,” riotous anecdotes, and trenchant societal jabs, making it must-hear for fans of comedy that isn’t afraid to be honest, absurd, or even a bit crude. If you tune in for the “Sperm Bank Horror Story,” you’ll likely stay for everything else.